#do yall have a fantasy about the love of your life abandoning you????

[strwberri-milk]

i was gonna ask how do you manage to have patience with so many people ignoring the rules (saw two ig while scrolling my feed) and saw the big READ THE RULES lol

LMAOOO idk [sob] for the most part i just hope its because people just dont think much of it bc like. the requests i deny are pretty standard requests (period comfort, pregnancy, etc) but im just not someone who wants to write things like that! i promise you so many other blogs will do it

i did update my blog to make my expectations much more apparent (increasing the font size of the read rules, changing my ask title to read rules first, etc) so hopefully it helps!!

ultimately i try to assume the best of people!!! but im getting fed up with it at this point so thats why im taking a harder stance lolol

[bl00dlight]

about people who think you're unfair when it comes to depicting aemond... are just delusional who mayhaps read aemond x reader or fanfictions or some headcanons... aemond is and will always be a villainous person, when he was a kid he wanted to bash the head of his nephew with a rock ( this resulting in him losing an eye and he deserves it, sorry nog sorry ) + his pursue for powers will be his well-deserved downfall. he's a raging misognist like the rest of the entire family, like... aww he is crying when helaena bluntly tells him the truth ? hope he'll rot with his guilt. you are totally right, he's a piece of shit and i can't wait to see his demise.

I mean AHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Speak your truth diva.

Look I love Aemond. Okay... let me just say.

BUT, yes no you're right like. He is fucking awful and the worst. And I do want to see him rot with his guilt a little, especially what he did to Helaena. Like I love him, and I understand him. And I do feel sympathy for him.

If I was Helaena would I have have said yes before he'd been finished his sentence? Yes. Would I have girl bossed it and proposed to him like Rhaenyra did to Daemon? Yes. Would I hypothetically let this fictional man suck and fuck on me?.... undeniably. Is this a parasocial relationship? Yes.

But it's undeniable that so many girlies on here fucking act like tradwives defending their right wing, MRA adjacent, wife beating man. Like you can want to cook him dinner and also call him out for genocide. Really gets me concerned about... well... how some of yall interact with men irl. A man like Aemond irl, is an incel.

Someone said this on reddit about the balcony scene, that it was like when an incel goes up to his crush to try and get her to be on his side before he shoots up a school. And AHAHHA exactly.

They act as if Aemond is indeed a victim through and through, who has done no wrong and is a sweetypie. And is it self insert fluff fics fault? Yes it is. People are attracted to Ewan... and their idea of Aemond. Not really Aemond as he is. And many don't want to interact with analysis of his character. Which is fine. No hate, you do you. But it is a problem when others make it fans like myself, problem.

And as someone with a disorganised attachment style? As someone who upon watching the Harry Potter series as a child who had their sexual awakening upon seeing both Draco and Luicus Malfoy. As someone who has been a Sharpay Evans defender since it came out and as someone who agreed with Rosalie Cullen that Bella was a boring ass... whiny as bitch....

I gotta say? Mean, evil and toxic platinum blondes? I'm here for them and I love them. And I am basically attracted to Aemonds character/interested in him because of the fact he is a fucking asshole. Okayyyy soooooo. Don't get me wrong I love the idea of soft, vunerable Aemond. But I can only love that because it's a rare thing for him. Because he's main mode is acting like a horror movie villain. I've always been about that life of loving dark characters. It seems many upon here are just... well... they find him hot and wanna smash. Which is valid. But it's not valid to project your personal sexual/romantic fantasies onto other fans who are just... discussing canon characteristics of Aemond.

And even reddit neckbeards do it to because they relate to Aemond. They'll swear he was this valiant, dutiful, scorned boy. They'll swear he wasn't a Valyrian supremacist. They'll swear he would never hurt or betray his family. But it's like? So basically how the fuck does someone campaign for the fucking third reich *House Strong Edition* be day and be a loving family man by night who would never betray his family if he felt abandoned/humiliated or hurt by them? So you know... the fanboys who thump the book like it's the bible also are FUCKING ANNOYING.

It's actually crazy.

[dozing--zzz]

these are @robbie-lee-zombie 's tickle questions! (sorry for the tag! ik you dont know me haha)

i thought id answer them because why not! also its a fun way for yall to get to know how i am tickle-wise since my blog is so new ☺️

1. What’s your favorite tickle tool?

honestly, just hands. but feathers and paint/makeup brushes are fun too. i just dont like the harsh/scratchy ones

2. Favorite Ler? (Tag them if you dare~)

im not super close with really anyone on here just yet, (totally feel free to change that, send me a dm lets be friends!!) so im not sure! i dont wanna tag someone i hardly know lol

3. Favorite Lee? (Tag them to call them out~)

same as #2!

4. Opinion on blindfolds/restraints? Why or why not?

not really my thing! they scare me like a lot haha. like im okay with maybeee my arms up or being pinned if i trust someone, but that's as far as ill go.

as a ler, ill pin a lee if they want it, but big bondage is still not my style. whatever the lee prefers other than that ☺️

5. A spot that gets you squealing?

this question is so cruel 🥲

lower back n back ribs

6. How long do you estimate you could last before calling mercy?

not sure. ive never been tickled for an extended period of time before, but id estimate maybe 2 minutes? before I need a break.

7. Ever have tickle fantasies?

if "fantasies" is being used non-sexually in this case, absolutely. haha i think about lots of cute little scenarios of either me tickling someone or them getting me.

8. Why did you make your tickle blog?

ive had a few before this that i abandoned, and have lurked for like 2 years since my last one, but i joined again because i love interacting with this community and having tickle friends makes me soo happy

(again, dm me!! id love to be friends)

9. Does anyone irl know of your interests?

nope! farr, far too scared haha

10. Can you say the t-word?

i think i can, ive never actually said it in front of anyone before because it never comes up, but like ive said it just fine sitting in my room or while reading aloud

11. Verbal teases, yes or no and why?

depends. some of the stuff i see is awkward and corny, i guess i would have to really experience it myself because most of what i see online doesn't appeal to me. im not sure if that would change if it was an actual interaction haha

this also is the reason i dont rp online as a lee, because its just awkward to me lol. i dont actually feel anything lol 😭

12. Upper body tickles or lower body tickles?

i like both, but probably upper body if i had to choose.

no, definitely not because my belly and back are there shush

13. Neck or ear tickles?

i dont think my ears are very ticklish, so probably neck tickles haha

14. Pinned on your back, or your stomach?

i dont think i could choose haha both make a bad spot super vulnerable 🥲

15. What do you love about the lees you know?

they're SO tooth-rottingly adorable oh my goddess. they make me wanna hold them in my lap and just gently tickle them silly you literal cutie pies.

16. What do you love about the lers you know?

one, they're also so adorable, and two, they're so nice about tickles 🥲 they make me feel so safe and nice

17. Feathers or Paint Brushes?

this question.. 🥲

i dont think i could choose i love them both

18. How long have you known about your interests in the community?

since i was young, like maybe 7-8 years old, i had that feeling about and fixation on tickling, and thats also when i became a little scared and very shy about the subject on top of being a very reserved child, and only just secretly watched yt tickle compilations in my bedroom. i didn't find out about the community until i was more like 11-12. it was huge to me since i thought i was just.. weird haha, and while i was very dumb and didn't put up proper boundaries, i engaged with tickle content for a while. when i was 14, i believe, i had this like year-long phase where i wanted to not be like that anymore, deleted tumblr, and tried to completely push it out of my life but surprise surprise haha! at 15, i started lurking again and here i am now at 17 with my current blog!

19. What’s your favorite way to be tickled? (As in provoked, teased into asking, etc.)

surprise tickles or having someone straight up ask if they can tickle me would probably be my favorites because i feel its SO cute, and also doesnt involve me asking.. also the second one usually means gentler tickles like we're cuddling on the couch or something and those aaa are for sure my favorites

20. Are you/Do you like Polite Lees or Bratty Lees? (Asking for tickles vs Pissing someone off for tickles)

i love all lees because all of you are adorable and i will never say anything different, but someone coming up to me and asking for tickles will always hold a special place in my heart because AA its so incredibly cute it makes me so happy

i myself am a polite lee, im very shy irl in general and that kind of bleeds into how i am about tickles, so while it would take like a whole day of hyping myself up and figuring out how to ask and i would almost 100% chicken out, if i could ask i would. i don't like making people mad either haha

if you have any other tickle (or just normal!) questions you want my input on, my asks are open! ask away!!☺️

[theres-a-bea]

any kdrama recs? i've been binge watching "the last empress" nonstop and im kinda getting tired of it :')

AN ASK !!! i have to warn you tho: i probably have no taste in k dramas cos i just watch whatever seemed interesting in my recommendeds, but here are a bunch of shows that i really liked in no particular order (bc i added a star rating)

(take note: i don't always like them for the plot, sometimes aesthetics is enough for me cos my brain shuts off and forgets there's even a story)

• the glory ★★★★★ (massive slay bc everyone got what they deserved + ha ye sol my queen fucking soloed)

• extraordinary you ★★★★ (idc about the plot of this one, but if you've seen any of my manic 3am tumblr rants you know this is on here for aesthetics and worldbuilding)

• true beauty ★★★ (again, idc about the plot, i'm here for aesthetics. + bonus points to worldbuilding after the universe was officially confirmed to be the same as extraordinary you)

• under the queen's umbrella ★★★★★ (fuck. yeah. i was lowkey scared abt what it was going to be cos when i tell you i went in blind, but yea overall i love love loved it)

• alchemy of souls ★★★★★★ (this, right here, is my shit. world building, magic system, straight up quality organisation, set design, costume design, AWOOGA. historical fantasy always gets me popping my pussy i fucking love this show. still pissed they wasted my heart my wife my sweet angel princess babygirl jin cho-yeon tho)

• business proposal ★★★★ (romcom is not dead. ik it gets a lot of hate cos the plot was rushed and ok sure it's kinda basic and overhyped and basically straight propaganda but i had a proper giggle from this shit. it was funny, and attractive characters have personalities and they actually had more depth than the manhwa. and yes the manhwa sucked cos it may have had more plot but the characters were flatter than in the show)

• summer strike ★★★ (ngl i kinda liked it but it had absolutely ZERO plot. just vibes. lucky it had enough vibes to carry the fucking show cos i would've abandoned it halfway cos literally nothing was going on. if you want to shut your brain off and settle on pure vibe alone go ahead and put this on)

• school 2015 ★★★★ (this actually ate i loved the plot and the characters are a lot more serious than usual k dramas, for a teen drama in 2015 this was a fucking slay, given that 2015 really was kind of the year of teen dramas ngl cos skam came out the same year)

• taxi driver ★★★★★ (no words, just yes. i love justified violence)

• law school ★★★★★ (all you ladies pop your pussy like this shake yo body don't stop don't miss— kim bum has my entire heart my neck my back my pu— yes. kang sol b can step on me and i'd thank her. i fucking love this show. watch it)

• extraordinary attorney woo ★★★★★ (YES !! ABSOLUTELY. I LOVED it. Every character is so well written, plot is well thought-of, and the representation, chefs kiss. they got lesbians in there !! with a happy ending !!! woo to the young to the woo, bitch)

• happiness ★★★★★ (don't you just love it when you get to live with the love of your life pretending yall are married ? i fucking love this show sm. honestly i watched cos i'm absolutely in love with han hyo joo but i ended up sobbing cos i would've just killed myself if i had to deal with the fucking neighbours that they had iesu fucking grist.)

• kingdom ★★★★★★ (as you can obviously see i am a whore for historical fantasy. i do not give six star ratings often but if letterboxd let me i would've given it to this show. zombies, political turmoil, LORE, sexy ass protagonist—idk i'm easily seduced by political leaders actually doing what they're supposed to do, probably bc we don't have any of those where i live)

• revenge of others ★★★★ (i'm afraid to admit that this is the first other thing that i did with my disney plus subscription outside of actual disney-backed content. but i love a good murder mystery. the fact that shin ye eun literally filmed this alongside the glory is insane. kinda sad it's not as gay as you would think it was in the middle)

• all of us are dead ★★★★★ (i forgot to add this but it's ok it's here now. this right here is THE exact situation that i daydreamed about when i was like, eight. idk maybe that's a lil twisted but by god it would bring about a different kind of thrill in my boring ass life. but here it is: high school kids trapped in a school during the zombie apocalypse, the literal plot straight out of my dreams)

i think that's enough to keep someone occupied for a few weeks at least !! thank you for the ask !!!! ok love you

mwa

[thoriffix]

Can you rec some media with canon queer characters 😌

ofc!! thisll by no means be an exhaustive list but idk what youre looking for specifically so ill break it into categories

my current favs!! if u follow me u know these already lol

the umbrella academy: netflix show abt dysfunctional superpowered siblings reuniting to stop the apocalypse. canon mlm character (pansexual according to his actor) w mlm romance, canon wlw character (lesbian according to someone on the show dont rmr who) w het romance in s1, wlw romance in s2 - this is one of my absolute fav shows at the minute in general its brilliant

the magnus archives: horror podcast abt the head archivist of an institute researching experiences w the supernatural. protagonist is canonically biromantic asexual, in a mlm relationship in s5, and there is another canon bisexual character, as well as (iirc) a canon wlw couple - yall know ive been so into tma lately its so so good, obviously if you dont like horror its not for you but if you do.. 👀

sanders sides: youtube series abt a gay dude working out his emotional problems via personified aspects of his personality. all the characters are gay cuz thas what thomas is baby! - i was hesitant abt putting this cuz thomas is a person not a character lol but if u haven't seen sasi i recommend it its like free therapy but theres songs sometimes

shows!

julie and the phantoms (netflix remake): musical show abt a teen girl rediscovering music after her mothers death w the help of three ghosts who were in a 90s band. canon gay character w a slow burn romance (not yet canon bfs but s2 lets go) - its very cheesy and the musical segments can drag on a bit but its p good overall

lucifer: detective show abt lucifer abandoning his rule of hell to buy a nightclub and beginning to solve murders w the lapd. lucifer is canonically bi/pan, as is his demon pal mazikeen, but queerness rly isnt a focus of the show its more casual rep - that being said its a good show overall, if a little predictable now n then (s1-3 on amazon prime, 4+5 on netflix)

kipo and the age of wonderbeasts: fantasy cartoon set in a future filled w mutant intelligent animals, kipo finds herself lost and has to get home w the help of her friends. canon gay character as one of the mains, canon nb side character - its a rly good cartoon! lots of fun, excellent soundtrack, and the main characters are all poc which is rly nice to see

the dragon prince: cartoon abt two princes and an elf assassin returning a dragon egg to its mother. canon mlm couple, several canon wlw characters, canon nb character - i havent seen the show myself but ive heard very good things abt it!

i am not okay with this: netflix show abt a teen girl discovering she has superpowers and hating it. protag is canon wlw (i THINK shes a lesbian but i havent watched it in a hot sec), developing wlw relationship - ianowt slaps! sad that s2 got cancelled but s1 is real good its a touch spooky and theres a bit of gore/blood so watch out lol

schitt's creek: sitcom abt a rich family who lose all their money and have to move into the motel of a town they bought as a joke. canon pansexual character and canon gay character w one of the sweetest mlm relationships - a rly good witty show w excellent character development for every character!

good omens: show abt a demon and an angel trying to stop the end of the world. every celestial character in it is nonbinary, + crowley and aziraphale have a nonexplicit (ie no on screen pda lol) romance - good omens is such a good queer show none of the characters care abt gender in the slightest lmao, plus the show in general is fantastic (the book is also very good)

movies!

the old guard: a group of immortals fight an organisation that wants to capitalise off their immortality. canon mlm couple - another one i havent seen yet (i will!) but apparently very good

it chapter 2: horror sequel to It, w the main characters returning to derry to defeat pennywise for good. canon gay character in unrequited love - i only say chapter 2 because his queerness isnt referenced at all in the first film, again its big horror and theres no gay romance just gay tragedy but its a good film

love, simon: romcom about a closeted gay teen falling in love w someone over emails. do i even need to state the rep? - honestly if u haven't seen love simon yet what are you even DOING its so good proper fluffy queer romcom, the book (simon vs the homosapiens agenda) is also really good!! so is the sequel (leah on the offbeat) where the protag is a bi girl + it focuses on a wlw romance

the way he looks: brazilian coming of age film abt a blind teen boy falling for the new kid at his school. canon mlm relationship - this doesnt seem to be on (british) netflix anymore so idk where youd find it with subtitles but i rmr liking it a lot!

games!

night in the woods: 2d platformer abt a young woman (well. cat) dropping out of college and coming home to live w her parents + discovering spooky happenings in her hometown. canon mlm couple and i believe the protag is canonically bi? - i will recommend nitw to literally anyone who will listen its one of my all time favourite games, deals w a lot of mental health issues and its absolutely gorgeous w a brilliant soundtrack and rly good dialogue thats witty and serious and realistic (its on steam + switch for sure dk abt other platforms, abt 15 quid i think?)

tell me why: adventure game abt twins returning to their childhood home + findin Secrets. canon trans male character - i havent got around to buying + playing this yet but it looks really good! (its in three chapters + on steam, not sure on price)

other media!

the art of being normal: slice of life novel abt a young trans girl discovering herself. main characters are a trans man and a trans woman. - a good novel! trigger warning for transphobic actions including descriptions of a transphobic attack on the guy, and its certainly not without its faults otherwise, but i thought it was pretty good

the adventure zone: dungeons and dragons podcast by the mcelroy brothers. idk specifics but theres a lot of canon queer characters in it! - i havent listened to taz yet but i know a lot abt it, inc that its good and funny and has plenty of queer rep

theres several more i like that arent listed here but to keep this from getting just ridiculously long ill leave it there :] tried to get a range of genres and medias, hopefully theres something for you in there!

[belle-keys]

Incoherent thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames (2021) by SJM

Do not expect this to be a critical, unbiased review at all. Eet just ease what eet ease. Spoilers ahead laddies. 

*unwanted preface* 

Okay, so like, you know those things that are neither objectively perfect nor unproblematic yet you love them and are attached to them anyway? Yeah, this is me with SJM’s writing. See, I been with Sarah and Throne of Glass since March of 2015 and with ACOTAR since the summer of 2015 when I was 13 and honestly, ACOTAR in particular occupied a decent portion of my formative teen years. Eventually, when I was about 16 I sort of ended up getting distracted from YA books and went into my thot and kpop era. A main reason for this is that I found ACOFAS particularly disenchanting. This ain’t about that book (sigh) but let’s just say as much as I was still attached to and in love with the ACOTAR world, I was still able to get very annoyed by the decreased quality of the writing and also the evident projecting Sarah was doing onto Feyre with regards to her own life and experiences (ahem). No, the lack of developed POC in the book had nothing to do with it ironically. 

So basically, since the spring of 2018 I haven’t read any SJM yet I never fell out of love with the books either. I’ve sworn off TOG after whatever the hell EOS was, but ACOTAR was always more special and close to my heart by tenfold, honestly. See, the best day of my 2016 was the day I found out ACOTAR was getting the extra 3 novels and 2 novellas. ACOFAS was a dumpster fire but I was actually surprised to really, really enjoy A Court of Silver Flames while it obviously has a couple (multiple) sus facets to it. The susness aside, I thoroughly felt at home reading Nesta’s book despite how irrational that might sound. No, I’m not here to say the book was objectively good but I’m here to say I still enjoyed it despite my love-hate relationship with SJM and her writing. :( :( :( 

That being said imma still roast tf out of a couple aspects of it. :)

*the susness*

Aight wbk that SJM like, projects a lot onto feyrhys right. I’m not even gonna deny it. Like as horrible as it sounds, when feyrhys were, like, struggling as a couple and shit in ACOMAF, that’s when I loved them the most but then the shitstorm that was ACOWAR hit and they couldn’t go without boning every two seconds or calling each other mates and shit and basically every character in the book started kissing their asses (except Nesta) to the point where they were infallibly good and powerful and everyone’s heads were lodged up their asses... I got PISSED OFF then, right.

Now, in ACOSF (is that correct?), they were side characters and, gratefully, that romance between them was toned down. But here are some things concerning feyrhys and the Court of Dreams that irked tf out of me, and the implications that they had for Nesta (who is perhaps one of the baddest bitches ever) had me feeling homicidal towards the IC:

Every single time Nesta said shit about Rhys and then Cassian got mad I wanted to SCREAM like yooo let her roast tf out of him like yeah I get Rhys lowkey did a lot for her both directly and indirectly but cmoooooon not everyone needs to be riding his dick like the man HATED Nesta from the get-go. I loved the idea that someone in the book lowkey abhors Rhys just for the TEA it gave me. Like yeah, okay Cassian, I get that he’s your bro but he can SUCK NESTA’S DICK also like my girl is a DEATH GOD.

Here me out: the Inner Circle completely dehumanized Nesta, they completely disregarded her personal autonomy and caged her in which is ironically the very behavior that was villainized when Tamlin did it to Feyre. First of all they restricted her movement, they made decisions FOR her, they withheld from her knowledge about her own powers, they decided what’s best for her and acted like she was a rabid dog the entire time. Only Cassian and Azriel seem more blameless in this regard, but the level of scorn and abohorence and moralizing Feyre, Elain, Rhys, Amren and Mor did towards Nes made my blood boil. At the end of the day, the Inner Circle did the VERY THING they hated being done to Feyre. Whatever happened to the freedom they professed? The autonomy they decided all members of their court deserved? That was all bullshit, or was this switch-up SJM’s way of creating justifiable conflict between Nesta and the Inner Circle... either way, there was no closure about this and the way they dictated Nesta’s behavior whilst completely mistreating her imo.

More on Nesta’s treatment - okay listen the way the narrative had every character acting like Nesta was fricking scum and for WHAT??? Okay, she didn’t hunt when Feyre and they were poor, she was bitchy, she hates the Fae... okay, why is Nesta still being punished for her mistakes like this by the Court? Does their forgiveness only apply to those in their clique? They’re acting like her drinking and sleeping around and her general bitchy behavior is sooooo toxic when they ALL coped with their respective trauma in questionable ways in their centuries of living. And the narrative never condemned them for this behavior either... like cmon they had an “intervention” about Nesta like if she needed to reach a certain moral standing to be lovable or something. Seems to me that only Cassian was willing to love her, bruises and all... “There’s nothing broken to be fixed. You are helping yourself. Healing the parts of you that hurt too much - and perhaps hurt others too”. But as beautiful as that it, it seems the IC see Nesta’s healing as her “redemption arc” when I never saw her as a villain or monster to begin with. They acted like she had to become deserving of their acceptance. Bullshit.

No cus more on this... Cassian is the only person who defended Nesta, the only person that wanted to help her heal and grow when everyone else wanted to fix her. He was the only person who was kind to her from the original trilogy (i.e. not counting Emerie and Gwyn). He stood up for her and I’ll gush about them in the next section, but the dynamic between Nesta and the IC was the least enjoyable aspect of the book for me. It was clear SJM wanted to spur Nesta towards the path to healing yet only figured out how to do so whilst only keeping feyrhys as the nucleus of this arc, and so she had them force Nesta into her “special journey” (because she loves them so much, cus they’re sooooo perfect right *rolls eye*), yet, the narrative didn’t quite condemn them for their toxicity towards Nesta at ALL, even towards the end. The good thing is that Nesta did not become an ass-kisser throughout the story and laud them for “helping her” every waking second. Only Cassian didn’t shun her for her inner negativity but embraced her. And Az was pretty cool too, can’t hate him.

Ahem, the ending: okay, I’m not even capping, but I hated that Nesta lost her power for feyrhys. I get that she genuinely did it out of love and shit and I’m not even gonna lie, the thought of feyrhys dying had me on the verge of tears cus as much as I hate them, I also love those bitches. Yet, the culmination of Nesta’s power was, what?, to save feyrhys. This way, the narrative put Feyre at the center of Nesta’s narrative towards the end. And Nesta lost that Death God power that she basically EARNED in that Cauldron. This is the biggest flaw of the story. She fought against her own power to give it up... for Feyre. Like??? What??? Why was that baby arc even necessary????? Why was Nesta giving up her power necessary to fulfil her healing arc which was the POINT of the book??? Like what?????? It left a sour taste in my mouth. No- an abhorrent acidic bitter taste in my mouth. 

Elain. I CANNOT STAND THIS GIRL. She completely abandoned Nesta and for WHAT??? For Feyre??? This only served to reiterate from the narrative’s POV that Nesta was scum and again, idk WHY. And also, why tf does this girl mistreat Lucien like this??? LUCIEN AKA MY FAVORITE CHARACTER???

I just don’t get how the narrative reiterated that Tamlin is the worst of the worst when you got Rhys hiding shit from Feyre, hiding knowledge of Nesta’s power from Nesta, all of that. Like, was the entire point of ACOMAF not for Feyre to embrace her power and become her best self? Rhys never for one second tolerated withholding Feyre’s power from her. So why tf does this apply to Nesta? Cus she’s unhealthy? Okay... so what??? Why villainize her like this and imply she’s undeserving of her power and a waste of life??? I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN LIKE WHERE DID THIS EVEN COME FROM??? What did my girl do that was sooooo bad that yall needed to treat her like this. Tell me why feyre and amren and varian and rhys all acted like Tamlin in this book. Cardi voice WHAT WAS THE REASON. I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS CUS THEY ACTED LIKE THE FRICKING MORALISING SYCHOPHANTS THEY CLAIM TO HATE.

Like bitch??? They’re like those youth pastors that reiterate how broken and messed up people with mental illness are? Acted like Nesta screwing guys was the worst thing ever when they should have embraced her? Like I get she would push them away but really??? “Waste of life”??? 

So we gon gloss over how Amren was insisting Nesta shut up about the baby business to Feyre (aka hiding shit from her)? How she was implying that Rhys should conquer all of Prythian? Hear me out, even as someone from a Caribbean country that was colonized by the whites, it actually doesn’t bother me when the theme of conquest comes up, like, this is a fantasy novel and colonization does not exist within the same context for me. That being said, like, it felt as if the narrative telling me lil Rhysie is just sooooo perfect that he needs to be High King. Like, I respect the fact that Rhys has no wish to do so. Homeboy never seemed to care for conquest beyond ensuring his Court’s prowess and safety so WHAT WAS THE REASON AMREN??? Like? What kinda crack was Amren on this entire book???

The worldbuilding... listen, the politics and history felt all over the place, felt incoherent and flat honestly. Didn’t bother me as much as it did in ACOWAR but it was just *meh*, not good. Not horrible, but not great. I preferred the world when it was directly the result of Beauty and the Beat and East of the Sun, West of the Moon.

The Fae have lost their *magic*: no cus what I loved about the first book was that the Fae were one with the Courts and felt very fleshed out in terms of their powers and shit, but now only Eric and Lucien and Tamlin and sometimes Rhys have that same magic for me. Like... the sensuality of the Fae in terms of their actual Celtic roots, that which felt whimsical and immersive in the first book, feels lost to me. I can’t explain it but I feel less nuance and orthodoxy in their portrayal. However, I DID love this one line featuring none other than the loml : “Amid the pink and white blossoms, the cold-faced Autumn Court heir looked truly faerie - as if he’d stepped out of the tree, and his one and only master was the earth itself”. LIKE I SALIVATED THAT IS MY MAN.

*good stuffs*

Okay let’s talk about the smut like I didn’t like the word choice as usual like quit with the euphemisms and say cock and goooooo. That being said like, okay, I like how she set up the physical dynamic between Nesta and Cassian cus the sex wasn’t some big romantic climactic build-up like how it was in acomaf like they were being NASTY from the get-go and I respect that drip. Like she did not cap on how porny the smut was and thank God it wasn’t some cliche romantic honeymoon type shit, like it was almost on the ao3 level of smutty goodness. All it was was missing was coarse language and hard kinks but in general, I liked the Nessian smut in this book more than the feyrhys smut in particularly ACOWAR and ACOFAS, like Nessian just do not cap.

Listen... you see that whole part when Nesta was like imagining how awesome it would be to dance Lucifer’s Bachata with Az and Cassian? Yeah, my girl just let her thoughts run wild. Like Nesta makes Feyre look naïve. Like you know how Tumblr porn in 2016 used to be with the aesthetic type shit? That’s Feyre, but Nesta is like on Pornhub level and it’s so fitting I was YELLIN lowkey. I feel like less importance was placed on how meaningful the sex and shit should be in the book and I respect that.

YOU SEE WHEN NESTA TOLD FEYRE ABOUT THE BABY!!! I WAS CHEERING HER ON. No cause they were being so nasty to Nesta especially Amren and then Feyre entered with all of her moralising shit like honey you KNOW damn well what you’re doing to Nesta is what you hate being done to you. Like damn right tell her, cus I could not STAND the double standard.

The whole training the women thing was a nice touch. It was kinda corny but also sweet. That being said, I laughed so hard when I realized how this entire book was Nesta’s quarter-life hippie rebirth where she learns to meditate and work out and read romance books and face her inner demons like this is some real New York college shit. All that was missing was a Starbucks.

Cassian. Man I love this man so much. No like he displayed peak dilf behavior. I think his attractiveness isn’t based on his bravery or his hotness but his humility man. Like he’s not a thot, he’s respectful, yet tough, yet contemplative. He’s contented with his life station yet wants to always be a better person yet is such a strong rock who really loves Nesta not despite her flaws but because they are part of her. I love the way he stood up to Rhys a lot, he didn’t shame her when she was awful to him, and he is protective (annoyingly so sometimes) but he really wanted her to empower herself. Their relationship isn’t perfect (I’m not in the mood to dissect the problematic aspects rn) but they were so sweet together and I didn’t expect to like them as much as I did back when they were lowkey a thing in ACOMAF.

The mates thing didn’t bother me cus I saw this shit coming since 2016. Yes, it’s cliche and annoying but the mates status also, like, has no meaning to me so it is what it is. Didn’t think they NEEDED to be mates but I was happy that them being mates wasn’t the core of the novel and it was secondary to Nesta’s individual healing journey.

Prepare for me to get sappy but another reason why I loved this novel was because it was a story of healing. :( :( :( The road to healing and growth in the emotional sense is always beautiful to me despite how flawed it often is when SJM writes it. I just felt really immersed in the emotional woes and eventual growth of Nesta despite my issues with the book and this is perhaps one of the main reasons that I found it beautiful, because healing as a theme is always beautiful and raw.

More of Nessian but like their relationship feels so real and raw too. No, cus like, it wasn’t tinged in as much fictitious idealism as feyrhys’ relationship was. They weren’t all stupidly in love and seeing each other in the universe and shit, like they just made each other happy and weren’t portrayed as the perfect soulmates who were each other’s yin and yang and whatever thank the LORD. Them having each other’s back was enough and ughhhh Cassian was just so sweet and such a good trainer and so aloof yet passionate like I been waiting to see more of him since ACOMAF so yayyy.

Okay... that scene where Rhys kneels to Nesta and she embraces him. yes. YES YES YES YES YES that shit was the shit that made my year like I want this man to be in her debt for the end of time like this hoe saved yall like big strong high lord better bow to the “witch” like I could hear angelic choirs at that scene like Rhys doesn’t just yield to people so easily so like, it was just kinda epic okay. Little bitchass Rhys with his perfect little river house and emo boi clothes stfu hoe.

No cus I love how Nesta told Cassian she didn’t wanna hear about Feyre’s special journey or Rhys’s special journey or Mor’s like I got fed up of people acting like they epitomized “good” and the “good path” to self-discovery when they can choke on a baguette as far as I am concerned.

*shit no one except me probs cares about*

Eris. So here is the thing. Since 2015 in ACOTAR when Eris was Under the Mountain being all red-headed and cunning and sexy and evil I have been obsessed with him... well, the idea of him I had in my head and how delectably abhorrent he seems (I like villains and side-characters okay). Maybe it was just his name (Eris is a hot name shut up) or the idea of a rich, cunning fox-faced prince in the same universe appealed to me. Either way, I actually never expected by favorite cameo-character to become... important. I’ll die on the hill of loving him. Here is the thing... I don’t want him to be good, in the same way I did not want Rhys to be a good guy in ACOTAR either. I don’t need him to be a secret angel, I don’t need him to be sweet and good like Rhys always was apparently. Honestly, I want him corrupt but likeable and pertinent to the story. That being said, I really want him as the main character for one of the upcoming novels sooo bad like please PLEASE let me see the autumn court and it’s two-facedness please like if not Eris then Lucien as the main character please.

Lucien... aka my fave character since the first book man. Mannn, SJM does homeboy so dirty like I have always loved Russian fables and hence, I am so ready for Lucien x Vassa x Jurian in the Vasilisa retelling with the firebird trope and Koshei. NO CUS in 2018 I was finna write a 100k word fic about this but then I forgot about it no cap, I still have the story plan in my Onenote actually but let us not reminisce. See, my ao3-loving ass wants an angsty poly relationship and also a hot Koshei I have been waiting YEARS for this you hoes, ever since Elain got the premonition of Vassa as a firebird in ACOWAR like God please please please give it to me and make it feyrhys-less as well yasss.

I lowkey wanna suspect Eris is gay and Mor, also gay, knows and that’s why she lowkey kinda tolerates him now. Yet, I cannot be sure and yeah I just wanna say that I kinda want that arc lmfaooo (my ao3-self is showing shut up).

No cus I was TEASED by only seeing a glimpse of Vassa and Jurian but THEY SHALL HAVE THEIR TIME I KNOW IT.

Tamlin living as a beast is so interesting to me. He’s a side-character now but ughhhh he was so mystical and interesting as our good ole Beauty and the Beast beastie like it’s sooooo mysterious and alluring how he’s becoming his own villainous legend like I still care about Tamlin’s blond ass self despite everything. 

Give us the snowball fight scene you coward.

I just gotta say Nessian could outsmut Feyrhys any day and that makes me proud.

FRICKING AZRIEL like first of all Mor doesn’t NEED to come out until she’s ready but she gotta let the man down nicely some other way so he can move on. I do not like Elain. Never did. I still do not. I do not, frankly, want a whole novel where she and Azriel fall in love and she rejects Lucien like... okay, I DO want her to reject Lucien so he can be with Vassa at the very least but also I am not interested in Elain’s POV rn. BUT I WANT AZ’S POV AND LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I WANT MY EMO BOI TO BE HAPPY. This is so frustrating cus Az is a walking DILF right and so, what am I supposed to do now.

I kinda miss the Spring Court just a little. It’s pretty shut up. It got that Zuhair Murad fashion too. 

Umm like, what the hell is up with that business with Helion being Lucien’s dad? We need more on this which is why I want a Lucien POV book goddammit.

Yoooooooo yall remember that bitch from ACOWAR who hybern was finna kill and she had a name and everything and then there was some foreshadowing and shit? What’s up with her? Like I can’t even remember her name lowkey but yeah what’s up with that. Was it something like Briar or Briannon or somthing???

Is Mor getting a book? Like deadass I need the Lucien and Vassa book, I need the Eris book, I need the Mor book and I need the Azriel book. Damn. Been waiting 6 years for some of this shit.

Okay that is all for now. Yes, this book has problematic elements at every level but I still loved it yet also hated some things about it. I won’t read House of Blood and Earth nor will I finish the TOG series but I guess I’ll stick with this series which remains near and dear to my soul despite what people gotta say about it. It made me happy and that’s what matters. Nesta is a huge ass inspiration to me as a character and I still wanna see her make the Inner Circle’s life a living hell uwu. I admittedly got HELLA emotional reading this story because it’s nonetheless super meaningful to me even at age 19 and it’s really powerful for me as a comfort book, and I look forward (a little) to what this woman put out next... sort of.

Signing off! Don’t @ me (okay you CAN @ me but idc).

[berryblu-arts]

Basic guide to my OC's stories

(yes i know i have a lot, help-)

august 9, 2021: added glow stage and diamond

February 23, 2022: added seedling

LONG info dump below the cut (no srsly, i´m warning you)

🍓🍋Strawberries and lemonade

Drama/ Slice of life with a hint of fantasy

Set in the main world in the early 2000s

Story about a girl who can see heartstrings and her various adventures in life, enphasis on personal relationships (not necessarilly romantic)

Aesthetic: lots of pinks and whites, soft and bright colors, 80s sailor moon backgrounds

Inspo: me being rlly mad at romantic love being taken as the only type of love, its also a twist on the red string of fate

🌼👻⛈Spectrum

Drama/ supernatural i guess?? (Can be categorized as urban fantasy i think)

Set in the main world, close to present day

Protagonist is a girl who can see "specters" (basically the counterparts of random animals except they're made of light or shadow), the story deals with themes of loss and lonelyness sometimes :( , but is also very centered around friendships (and i might sprinkle in some found family in there UwU💕)

"That shadow you saw at the corner of your eye the other day is real, but dont worry, its friendly :)!"

Aesthetic: rainy days, liminal spaces, small towns, fall, foggy days, childhood memories, abandoned buildings.

Inspo: ghibli movies, lil bit of kyoukai no kanata, and that one time i got food poisoning and couldnt see about 1/4 of my vision (not cool btw, but at least i made up some p cool shadow lore from it :D)

🧭🌌Twilight compass

Drama/fantasy (high fantasy)

Set 2 or 3 years before present day (in universe)

A bunch of kids (teenagers ig) get throw into an unfamiliar alternate world and try to get back to their own, but in the process uncover some important information that could finally end the tensions between that world's main kingdoms and so they get dragged into the mess, but maybe they were meant to be there from the very start (?)

Aesthetic: The world is half frozen and half on fire, its a todoroki world hehe-, lots of fantasy nature for yall's enjoyment ^^, huge animals that are mostly friendly, small animals with magic powers, magic circles and items, etc...

Inspo: loz breath of the wild, black clover, and a hint of star vs , among other things...

🤍⏳💛Time's end

Drama/ fantasy (high fantasy)

Set about 2 years before present day in the main timeline, but also 100+ years in the past... if that makes sense? (Theyre messing w time ok-)

Main character is a boy who suddenly finds himself in a magic world with a really bad political climate that's leading up to it's destruction, he gets dragged into that mess and soon discovers that world may be more that just a strange fantasy his brain made up.

Aesthetic: copper, stone, silver and gold, medievalcore but also rlly darn close to what the dragon prince was doing :>

Inspo: uhh i came up with this because i was trying to force myself to study history 😅😅, the very root of the idea for this can be traced to my obsession to winx club tho (which i will elaborate on if anyone asks)

💧🕰🔥Unwind

Drama/ fantasy (urban fantasy)

Set a little over a year before present day in the main timeline (unofficial time btw, still figuring it out)

Continuation/spinoff of time's end ft. One of my favourite side characters ^^ (im not spoiling this one lmao)

Aesthetic: a not so big beach town, bright and colorful houses and people, abandoned buildings few people know about, not so far from the outskirts of a little forest. (Really really vaguely based off where i live hehe)

Inspo: a dream i had where a comet fell from the sky, a combination of magical girls and superheroes

Fun fact: this is actually the story i started with, and even if it's mainly urban fantasy, it has elements like alternate worlds, cryptids and aliens thrown into it, fun stuff!

🏖🚃West coast

set in present day

Sort of a continuation of unwind, but centers around characters that were previously introduced as background ones now in the spotlight.

The story is split in 2 perspectives, the new guardians (an all girl element based squad i should talk about more) ,and what i'm calling the chaos squad (zac, roy, blaire, sara, viv and liam), these last ones are actually the most varied squad in therms of power category (i should probably explain that too in the future)

it´s the last story in the chronology.

Aesthetic and inspo: almost exactly same as unwind, as it's set in the same city

🌙💛Moonlight 

set in an alternate timeline, close to present day (high fantasy/ post apocalyptic)

Mini story and its honestly a sob fest, why was i even allowed to come up w this one ??😭😭

Sort of a prequel to time's end, it gives a bit of context to a couple character motivations but at what cost-

Aesthetic: lots of purples blacks and blues, contrasted with gold, post apocalyptic society...sort of?, society sucks but at least it's aesthetic😌✨, also looks like a story book UwU

✨👽✨Stardust outcome

Drama/sci fi

Set in the 90s

Prequel that isnt really it's own thing?? It's the story of the alien squad and 2 other characters from time's end, pretty sure if i ever make it it won't have a usual comic format but instead it'll be a bunch of mini stories, hopefully in chronological order...

Aesthetic: space and stuff, it looks a lil like voltron actually haha😅, but also on earth theres a clan of people w knives and cool masks that monitor all the shenanighans, and theres a secret society n stuffs.

Inspo: listen- i made a character that was supposed to introduce aliens into the main story, then went overboard w his backstory to the point that this one is literally how his parents met lmaoo

🤍👁💜Under the eye

Drama/fantasy

Side plot of spectrum that i feel deserves it's own story but i dont have time for it ToT

it's about 2 security guards in a hidden magic town, an old quiet dude w a grumpy face who lost his family a long time ago, and a newbie w a bright personality that has actually been having a sucky time.

They're both living pretty lonely lives and end up having a pseudo father-son relationship after the old dude finds out this kid was kicked out of his house. then after a couple more shenanighans a little alien girl is thrown into the mix, at which point the old dude *looks* like he´s not having it, but internally he´s like ´´welp, guess i have *two* kids now´´

overall rlly wholesome stuff with a dash of angst and found family :3

it´s called under the eye, because even if they´re working as security guards, the clan i mentioned in stardust is the one really in charge of monitoring stuff around there, so they have limited freedom on that front, and also they keep trying to go against them, that clan´s symbol is an iris ensata (flower) with an eye in the middle, hence the title.

aesthetic: same as spectrum, except if this was harry potter they´d be in that one magic town hehe (i hate making that comparison but it´s the closest i can get)

📖🎮⏳checkpiont

drama/ fantasy (urban fantasy w a dash of sci fi i guess??)

short story, set in present day

tecnically a spinoff of time´s end , but the tones are literally so different??

there start to be random zones in a city where pixelated videogame monsters appear, and kat (the main character) is appearently the chosen one to stop all that nonsense?, no one knows what´s going on but they better figure it out before reality alters inself badly enough to be unfixable. 

pretty lighthearted story overall, but it´s important cause it reintroduces some key characters into the mix :).

Inspo:i may or may not have actually made this just to justify a cheesy videogame themed story hehe, rlly feels like glitch techs tho :O (netflix series)

aesthetic: the city is pretty standard, the videogame area is all neon and pixel-y, kind of futuristic outfits for the characters, and lots of orange/ blue lighting UwU

👽🏙Unnamed ´´stardust outcome´´ sequel:

drama/ sci fi

a bunch of the characters are the kids of the original stardust, some are completely new ones, it´s basically kiddos interacting and doing shenanighans with superpowers at a school, but w an actual important subplot behind the scenes, the end of this one leads directly into the end of west coast and is the second to last story in the chronology (not counting what i have planned for next gen, those are only gonna be fluffy one shots)

🕸👑💚Glow Stage

*Not connected to the main story at all, but it exists there in the form of a show*

Drama/fantasy (rlly slice of life-y sometimes tho)

typical magical girl story but the main character is the redeemed villain type, trying to do good but with a slightly messed up moral compass. Also the mc befriends the magical girl in her civilian form without knowing its her because ✨free dramaaa✨

Inspo: i needed a fake show for spectrum then accidentally created a whole new story, whoops!

Aesthetic: everything is pretty standard and almost generic on purpose, the villains are edgy, good side is all sparkly and stuff, im aiming for something like what precure's got going on^^

something a lil creesy w lots of potential for both angst and fluff never hurt anyone :3

Seedling 🌱 🌼

Fun fact- the main trio is composed of: ex villain mc who is -s t r u g g l i n g- , chosen one- magical girl-hero of prophecy who *does not* wanna be here, and the stable normal friend :)) (except no, he is holding the information and conciousness of several souls inside him, like the avatar thing... but theyre more an annoyance than actual help lmao)

Drama/fantasy (very slice of life leaning)

Story about a socially awkward kid learning to get along with his new step mom and sister, surviving through school, and of course, being a shapeshifter and perhaps the key to a conspiracy to take over the earth from the inside out. Fun times!

Inspo: late 2000s action cartoons, the myth of changelings, and the sheer need to watch characters go from cold and indifferent with each other to "we are family now, I would die for you" :')

Aesthetic: idk man, will update this one later lol

Fun fact: I'm not sure if this one's Canon in the main universe hehe 😅

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Honorable story mentions:

Unnamed robot stiory: completely disconnected from the rest, put bluntly it´s about robots that think they´re people (came up w the concept w @/ashrayus a couple years back), it´s sorta just sitting there but i refuse to let go of it UnU

STARDUST: precuel to stardust outcome, it´s about a solari (star person) that falls in love with a rlly nice and humble avian farmer guy she met (this isnt set in earth), and they were both lonely, so they swear to be together till death do them apart, and they even have a kid, but solari have all these rules about forming attatchments with mortals and whatnot, so of course the fricken space police come knocking and stuff gets nasty and the guy dies- (it´s all just rlly tragic ok, i´m sad,,), so these stories are named stardust after the star girl cause she dies as well, passing all of her energy to her kid to keep him safe :(.

Diamond: Tells the origin of the world, powers, sub dimentions, etc... i won't have a story designated for it cause itll be like reading a mythology/history book, and idk how to make that entertaining hehe 😅😅

[mcyt-tagging-is-shit]

(note from mcyt-tagging-is-shit: my comments are in bold because there’s so much i want to respond to, i can’t just put it all at the bottom okay)

I fear the other members of the smp following your blog, but what are they gonna do? Stop me from info dumping about my character? if they do i will simply fight them Also know you can get info dumps in the flavour of Minecraft updates or random rants if even slightly prompted. YES

Okay, so. My character’s name is Cada Cacti, because of the aforementioned memory problems I forgot my last name, maybe also my first, so I gave myself the last name Cacti. I should clarify that none of the other mob hybrids/mutated mobs on the server have last names, just me. oo human cultural tradition that isn’t mob related? purposeful attempt to distance themselves from who they are now? When around new people my character tends to lie and say that they don’t remember why, but cactus is important. And this is because of a thing we call the Cactus Wars. cactus wars? i wonder why they’re called that… It’s the first bit of lore I ever came up with for my character, it even predates the server. If you ever ask me what my favorite block is in Minecraft, I will always say cactus, and it’s because when I first started playing Minecraft I put a cactus in a flower pot and decided it was the coolest thing. But I digress. During these wars Cada got captured but a group of scientists and got turned from a human into whatever the hell it is they are today.

This, of course, is a source of ~trauma~ so they tend to ignore addressing it and just say that cactus is important. Cada refuses to believe anything changed. They gave themselves a new last name because every human has a last name, and they are still human in their mind. People can tell them otherwise, they can treat her different, but they refuse to change. They can’t drink water and are now are biologically supposed to eat chorus fruit? No, she’ll drink cactus juice, cactus is important, it means she doesn’t gain the ability to teleport. honestly ngl that’s a pretty smart alternative way to get hydration but is not eating the thing they are biologically designed to eat going to cause future issues?

Part of Cada’s thing, that I completely forgot to mention until this point, is that she can shapeshift into a more human form. i get the feeling that’s the main choice of form… Also a big part of the general lore of the server is that everyone has purple eyes. It signifies they are able to respawn, you have infinite cannon lives. 

But back to Cada, she eventually escapes the war and goes somewhere else, still stuck in her belief that she is human. But then one day she gets startled and shapeshifts back to ender form. And immediately gets captured by a completely different group of scientists, the ADMIN corporation. These are the big bads, they have good intentions, they want to find people immune to the disease causing people to not respawn and have them fight the enderdragon and hopefully kill the disease. bad people with power and justifaction for their actions- ah shit. technically what they do will be better for most people, but if the cost of their actions is the suffering of others, they can’t be called good. i wonder what the disease is? if killing the ender dragon will end it, and it causes people to not respawn, i wonder if it comes from the end crystals- they do transfer life force to the dragon, after all. or maybe they have to do with the ruins in the end- the abandoned end cities and ships, which are all so perfectly preserved- i wonder if the disease is meant to bring back all the people who lived there, or if they engineered it, and fell to their own creation. Suffice to say since they are a group of scientists in a fantasy setting, they are evil. This is where the original gang meets up, Cada, Berry, Chora, Raven, and Solus. We eventually escape, because these are scientists in a fantasy setting. jsasjlfks i love this plot already please tell me yall stream or smthn Raven calls up their friend James, and he gets us settled in the abandoned village we call home and we eventually amass a larger group of people. Everyone captured by the ADMIN Corp hate dying, part of the testing was repeatedly testing if we could respawn. Cada doesn’t hate dying.

Everyone understands the difference between human and player, you can be a player but not be human. But Cada, for however many years they’ve been changed, has been afraid of dying because their last thought would be how they weren’t as human as they thought. Cada doesn’t fear death, she doesn’t protect herself as well because in her mind, respawning proves that she hasn’t changed. She’s still human unhealthy coping mechanisms that will have to be confronted at a later time, probably because it will be necessary, if the disease they want to stop comes from the end, that cada’s going to have to face that they are non human now, and they’re definitely tied to the end. this plot is building up to so much and i am very much here for it

This is now over a page in a word document, sorry but I have a lot of Thoughts all the time. Have fun, Mx

–

THIS IS AWESOME, I LOVE THIS!! the lore is so detailed and the character is very well outlined, they aren’t 2d they’re a fully fleshed out character. the world building, too, and you guys have a solidly defined big bad with an actual motive- this is incredible!!!

[strwberri-milk]

"do yall have a fantasy about the love of your life abandoning you???" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHY WAS THAT SO FUNNY IM CRYING

IM GLAD YOU FIND THE HUMOR IN THAT BUT THATS GENUINELY THE ONLY THING I CAN IMAGINE

like?? sorry not to get too #deep but that was a Very real threat i grew up with so i NEVER see the appeal of being knocked up and then PURPOSEFULLY leaving without communicating just to find each other later in life and have some romantic conundrum?? like it is NAWT hot bestie!!!

[writer-workshop]

WIP Introductions (now with graphics)

Referred to as ‘DAGN’ in tags

Think of if Euphoria met Supernatural wrapped up in a Kill Your Darlings type setting

This doesn’t have a name just yet, but when I get one so will yall 

Set in present times (2020- without any of the present time happenings) 

Synopsis: Bev loved her brother. Right until the day he decided chasing monsters was more important than her and walked out of her life some odd 10 years ago. Now, at 27 Bev attends Institute Auréole D’or where her father, Mr.Mystic, is currently dean, but that hasn’t, and won’t, stop her from living her best life. But now her brother is back and he’s hunting something big. Something that could be the end of him and he wants his little sister help in stopping it. The only problem? She’s told everyone, including herself, that her brother had died. And she doesn’t have much longer to decide if he’s going to stay that way or not. 

Character introductions to come later. 

Progress: Because this is my first time doing both a graphic novel and dabbling in Dark Academia, it’s taken some research to make sure I’m getting this right. With that being said, this is all in the very, very early planning stages. Yet, as I go I’ll keep yall updated as well

Story Type: Graphic Novel

Genre: LGBTQ+, fantasy, supernatural, mystery/thriller

Warnings: graphic (both sexual and gore), mention of drugs, sex, overdosing, hospitalization, mental illness, emotional abuse, trauma (i did mention it was a mix of Euphoria and Supernatural), adult content

Pinterest board: to be created

Apple Music playlist: to be created

Referred to as ‘SSS’ in tags

This actually does not have a time period. I don’t think it’ll have one at all. It also won’t mention any major time plots so like just put whatever time period you want.  

Name is not finalized and probably won’t be for a while

Synopsis: The island of Winterfall, Isle has known peace ever since Alatar Wintergreen found it back in late 1806. Banned from the United States, and really the rest of the world, after the practice of magic was also banned. Now an idyllic little place where the inhabitants practice magic freely. That is until a jealous prince decides he is tired of no being in the spotlight. With a dead general, a court whose loyalties are divided, and a missing king it’s up to Ikiair’s, the king's youngest, to stop the sure destruction of their home. Will he stop his uncle in time to also marry the love of his life and live happily ever after? Or will greed and vengeance lead him to an early grave?

Type: Novella

Character sheets to come later

Progress: There are several chapters written to this but I took another break from this. 

Genre: LGBTQ+ (secondary character), fantasy, romance,  

Warnings: mild sexual content, mental illness (depression), death (heavily mentioned

Pinterest board: https://pin.it/4Ss2Ga6

Apple Music playlist: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/short-story-series-soundtrack/pl.u-XkD00bRFoZ6XmE

Referred to as ‘Happy Ending’ in tags

Set in the year 2023 

Name is kind of finalized

Synopsis: Welcome to Malacity. The perfect city to raise your family and advance your career. With no (at least to the citizens) crime rate, beneficial city placement, and a town built specifically to meet the needs of its citizens; you won’t find a better town in this US of A. The catch? The government spies on you and does routine “health” checks on all citizens. Also, disobeying rules could mean something worse than death. Enter Jaime who is trying to live her best life. Even if it means fighting feelings for her best friend, going at it with the one person who knows who she actually is, summoning a demon that now doesn’t want to leave, all while taking down a corrupt government and learning the true nature of her parents death. Yeah, so she’s living her best life. Or trying to. At least before the government gets her

Type: Novella

Character sheets to come soon

Progress: I wrote 75% of chapter one but then took a break because I really need to find out where I’m going with this story.

Genre: LGBTQ+, fantasy elements, realistic fiction, dystopia kinda  

Warnings: mention of COVID and it’s after effects, police brutality (implied/maybe mentioned), sexual assault (implied), drugs, adult content, mental illness (depression/anxiety/personality) gore (not heavy)

Pinterest board: https://pin.it/2kbWINS

Apple Music playlist:https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/happy-ending-soundtrack/pl.u-yZyVP2lsDqeb0R

Referred to as ‘Something Like’ in tags

Set in current time (not really 2020, but somewhere between 2018-2021) with no real time mentioned. Also, nothing that’s currently (or have been) going on will be mentioned. (I may make every other chapter flashbacks and if that happens then it’ll also be set during 1990-1999 [ish]). 

Name is finalized

Synopsis: Alisa Matthews has always gone above and beyond for both her school projects and while documenting life. So why should her senior Documentarian project be any different? Cue Dr. Banks, former Aubrey School of the Arts student, turned professor. She’s been taking the school by storm since she stepped onto campus back in 1991. Although a big name on campus, no one has ever gotten a full blown interview about how she actually got a start. This is where Alisa comes in. She wants to talk about Dr. Banks' early years. How love of life and friends and a certain French man changed her perspective on how art should be, how art could be. Yet, Alisa can’t shake that Dr. Banks is hiding something about her early years. Will Dr. Banks warm up to her before the premiere of the documentary? Or will the truth about the passion behind Dr. Banks stay hidden forever? 

Character introductions to come later

Progress: There are about five to six chapters already written, but I’ve taken a break for a while. I’ll be circling back to this one shortly. 

Type of story: novella 

Genre: LGBTQ+, romance, historical fiction, 

Warnings: mention of historical racial abuse, mention of homophobia (implied), secondary character mention of physical/sexual abuse (sexual abuse is implied not described)

Pinterest board: https://pin.it/62uITaN

Apple Music playlist: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/something-like-a-love-story-soundtrack/pl.u-qxyllZBt8GeNjk

Referred to as ‘My Own Undoing’ in tags

A collection of poems & prose that explores the author’s struggle with religion & relearning to love her body. Broken, much like her faith & her love, into two parts; the collection tells of how her faith is shaken. Shambled. Non-existent. How she is waiting for God to answer questions she didn't need to ask. For ones she shouldn't have asked. Tells of the struggle it's taken to love a body that she abandoned long, long ago. Of the body's silence when she is being asked, no begged, for forgiveness. Of the body's acceptance for all she has put it through. Even if their body doesn't want it. Even if the body knows it's what's best for the both of them. 

Title will remain the same

Type: Poetry

Genre: Non-Fiction, Religion

Warnings: n/a?

[penzyroamin]

Fix questions: 15, 18, 23, 30.

15. a hollywood producer tells you they want to film just one of your fics. which one would you want it to be?

i require editing time. but seriously, “davey, at any distance”. lord knows it would need rewriting and expanding. but if there would be anything i would allow to stand on its own as an independent project, itd be that. or “the art of slaying giants”. i think slaying giants works much better written, though. im overthinking this

18. give a DVD commentary for a line/scene you’re really proud of?

ooo ok. so yall know the legendary big fish au i wrote ella a year ago. its over 19k, i wrote it in two weeks, its my favorite thing ive ever written. love is a hell of a drug. this wont quite have The Power that it does in context but essentially, for context: everyones adults. les is like thirtyish, the rest of the gang are mid-to-late fourties. set in north florida. kath and davey are married so that davey could stay closeted to esther and mayer, who were deeply terrible. davey and les have always had a really strained relationship since les thought davey pretty much abandoned him for the majority of his preteens and teenage life. les finds out about jack and davey, assumes davey is cheating on kath, flies to santa fe where jack lives, knocks on his door, jack recognizes him,

“ “You wanna come in?”

Les barely managed to nod, caught off guard by how normal Jack was. He had pictured some kind of evil villain right out of Davey’s stories, with a mustache he could twirl and a wicked laugh. Instead, he saw a man with little bags under his eyes and a bit of a gut and graying hair by his temples. A man who was unquestionably mortal.”

so lets break this down. all through les’s childhood, davey told him these stories about magic and good and evil that were, essentially, fantasy versions of davey’s real life. when davey “left”, les stopped believing in his stories and tried to abandon him in his mind. we essentially have two of les’s core beliefs finally falling apart here:

a) this is where he realizes that he still views the world the way davey taught him to. he’s claimed over and over again to be the realist, the one who knows better, but this is when he realizes that he’s still looking for magic and wonder in the world, even though he claimed to abandon it. no matter how hard he tries, davey was still the person who raised him and he still subconsciously looks to davey for guidance

b) this is also where he realizes that everyone around him is just a person. his parents were just people who werent suited for parenting and became apathetic. davey was just a person trying to balance raising les and taking care of him with being able to have his own life and a healthy relationship. even jack, the person he’s tried in the last twenty-four hours to blame for every problem they have, is just a person. it allows him to come to terms with the fact that he can stop making endless excuses and stories and reasons-- everyone is a person, everyone fucks up, what matters is what you do to fix what you’ve done. it allows him to forgive some people, turn his backs on others, and try his best to continue forward

also, i just really like the idea of jack just being... normal. no massive burden on his shoulders. he’s just got a cute little house and a couple horses and a pretty consistent income and a long-distance partner with a REALLY fucked up family. he’s just a sweet dude trying to live a somewhat normal life

23. if you had to remix one of your fics, which would it be and how?

hmm. “their mistake is they got old”. write it from jack’s perspective instead of katherine’s. what does he have to say? why did he leave when he clearly never fell out of love with davey? why did he get married? did he love her? how did he die? what was his relationship with davey like before he left? that sorta stuff.

30. tell us an idea for a long fic you want to write in the future

i JUST started writing a soulmate, red-string kinda au that’ll probably be.. three chapters? maybe? i want to be really respectful of its origins in mythology and folklore but also look at what the concept would be like in a modern-day, world-wide situation. also, big old introspection into jack’s abandonment issues, davey’s unwillingness to let people do things for him, and the importance of maintaining healthy relationships!!!

wow this turned out long. i don’t know if i regret that or not

[da-tasuky]

Ok, guys let’s get this straight! What about me and my projects now?

Some of you know that things are getting easier for me. Slowly but surely! First of all: Thanks to everyone who has been worried, cheered me up and texted me. Honestly, you are golden! Now that things are more or less settled into something resembling normalcy, I am taking things back into action.

Regarding Art/Commissions: I haven’t been able to do much. During all this time I couldn’t carry around my drawing tablet and well, that happened. Just yesterday I was able to try a sketch of Ladybug from my A Feral Lady fic and I’M SO SLOPPY! Suddenly my desk feels so uncomfortable and hard to draw in. Just give me some time to get used to it again and I’ll finish pending commissions along with art I feel I owe myself and to you all, dear wonderful people who still follow me for my art and I haven’t posted much *sobs*

Zines and other collaborative projects: Luckily some were on hiatus or during process that didn’t need me so they weren’t hindered much if not at all by my absence. Anyway, I’ll join again during the next days and share whatever I’m allowed to about them in due time. I’m very grateful of my friends from those projects for being so understanding over my situation and I’m very sorry for my absence, I’ll return... with weapons!

Regarding Fics and AUs: NOW THIS IS FUN! While I couldn’t take my huge drawing tablet, I certainly was able to take my laptop with me! And you see, I did a lot. I’m not a fast writer at all. And I try to get everything betaed now since I don’t completely trust I’m translating my ideas from my mother language correctly to English but I do what I can to be able to share it with yall ♥ Let me name them, give a summary of it and then tell you what I have in store for it!

Princess Scoop: Pairing: Marichat “A new superhero joined the party. Rena Rouge is a passionate ally with scary reporter and fox tendencies. She was starting to get used to her newfound lifestyle when she discovered something incredible called Marichat.”

Now, let me remind you this was written before Rena Rouge was introduced so it has a non-canon origin to Rena. I honestly have a lot written about this but the third chapter was a huge challenge and ended up split into three parts. And yeah, that’s why it’s been eons and I haven’t posted it yet. But soon, guys, soon. All that writing won’t go to waste. Besides, when I started it I had too specific expectations and I kind of messed up, but now I’m working it in a more relaxed way.

I know you better than that: Pairing: Daminette “Years ago, Marinette started exchanging emails with Damian as a favor for her uncle Alfred. Her first impression of the kid? Annoying and cold. Today, she wouldn't change him for anything. His friendship helped to keep her afloat during hard times especially after becoming Ladybug. Now, Marinette and Alya prepare for a flight to Gotham to meet the frowny bird.”

Chapter 3 is ready and soon to be posted! I have a lot of ideas for it and actually made a huge and wonderful document to plan the story so I’m pretty pumped up! Little secrets from the document along with future sketches will be shared in my Patreon!

A Feral Lady: Pairing: Ladrien “Mister Adrien Agreste has moved to his father abandoned estate in front of a gorgeous forest in the hopes to make new friends, connections, good business and hopefully meet a lovely woman to marry. He never expected this to be the start of close encounters with grievous dangers, witchcraft and fantasy stories becoming real. Who is this mysterious disappeared Miss Marinette he keeps hearing about? And most importantly, does the Werecat that lives in the forest mean him ill will?”

The first chapter is- finally- ready! Actually, it’s been for a long time but I was just very unsure of it, I did some minor adjustments and I think I just should go with it. The second chapter is half-written and I have several original songs for it written too. So what is this fic about? A Feral Lady is basically Beauty and the beast with Jane Austen's influence BUT taking everything from Beauty and The Beast and kind of inverting it. Like I mentioned above, I am doing art for this and will be posted in Patreon before being released here along with the first chapter.

Akumapocalypse: Pairing: Lovesquare Since this AU is kinda huge and I want every single miraculous active, I decided to wait for more info about the characters on S3 to dive into it. Now that there are few miraculous we don’t know about, I was able to easily readapt what I had done with the new info and I can get creative with the others (unless we get leaks while I work in this!) Basically, this AU is pretty much what the name implies, the end of the world at the hands of Akumas. I’ll keep everything else as a surprise!

Oneshots/Other multi chapters: I miiight have mentioned some but honestly, I’m not big into those as much as the others mentioned above. Still, I might finish some one-shots soon and post them between the others, between those there is an akumanette idea, one about Master Fu, another cool and weird one idk how to describe but is basically about Marinette in a hard position and having to create an awful web to protect her identity (?) And I got one very cool multichapter Marichat! But before these, I want to prioritize the others first. Still, if anyone is hungry for the Marichat one, I might be swayed to jump from my headcanon document to a full first chapter. As a very loose way to put that one, I think I’ll call it “Chains” And it will be about an Akuma called The Chainer actually “winning”. Paris is severely damaged and people try to live the aftermath of the Akuma permanent magic. One of the big consequences is that Adrien “disappeared” leaving only Chat Noir and he is forced to live a new life as Chat 24/7. 

Well, that’s about it!

Which one catches your interest the most? My ask is open if anyone wants to know a bit more about my stuff too ♥

[gaylortruther]

(many) tag games

saw someone else do this so i figured i’d go through all my tag games in one looong post instead of spamming you all with a bunch of separate posts!

i’m gonna tag everyone now and yall can choose which tag games you want to do or whether you want to do them all (or whether you want to do any)!!

thanks to everyone who tagged me in all of these! i LOVE being tagged in tag games and i am always up for more! <3

tagging THE SANCTION (including ppl that i haven’t gotten up on the page yet im sorry abfjffsdhsjbjsdf it will happen SOON):  @newdivinities @wolvesofarcadia @maskedlady @victoiirres @sancta-silje @bumblebeesonpaper @wasting-ink-not-youth @horrorspell @ya-lady-tauriel @awritinglen @purpleshadows1989 @ivonoris @theforgottencoolkid @the-ichor-of-ruination @grotesqu-e @lucacangettathisass @tea-ndi @hazeywrites @lunar895 @thewordsinthesky-andstars

[LAST LINE TAG]

TAGGED BY  @melwrotethat AND @hazeywrites

thank you both for the tags! these are the last few lines of the prologue-excerpt-thing i wrote for the page i’m working on for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Somehow, Collin hears them. Silently, she rolls up her sleeve, and Rowan feels the Collin Sutherland they knew is somewhere far, far away. The tattoos are black, geometric in design, two on each arm, and eerily similar to the ones Rowan has just discovered on their own left arm. They're sure if they were to roll up their right sleeve, they would find more.

"I should have told you a long time ago," Collin whispers. "I didn't know you were a part of it, but I should have guessed. I didn't want to put you in danger."

"I'm not- I don't- in danger of what?"

The waves crash onto the shore, and in the distance, a seagull cries, sending Collin into action. She grabs Rowan's hand and starts pulling, dragging them back behind the house.

"Come on. We don't have a lot of time, we have to get going. I can tell you everything on the way. I don't know why he brought me here instead of straight to the veil, damn it-,"

"Wait!," they say, wrenching their hand out of her grasp. "Just- stop! Where are we going?!"

Collin's eyes flash bright, despite the lack of sunlight. "Home."

yeah, a bit long, a bit unedited, but *shrugs*

[SPELL OUT UR URL USING SONG TITLES]

TAGGED BY @tea-ndi

thank you sage!!! <3

hard feelings/loveless | lorde

another one of those days | cavetown

let’s fall in love for the night | FINNEAS

ocean eyes | billie eilish

honey and milk | flower face

i know | king princess ft fiona apple

dreamz | sara king

iloveyou | BETWEEN FRIENDS

nobody’s home | gnash

greek god | conan gray

sycamore girl | rex orange county 

and there you have a small sample of my music taste! add in literally every taylor swift song (dont judge me), some lo-fi tunes without ANY words whatsoever, and the occasional fall out boy or panic at the disco goddamn absolute banger, and you have my XANDERS JAMS playlist on spotify. ENJOY

[11/11/11 TAG]

TAGGED BY @awritinglen <333333333333333333333333

thank you for tagging me len!!! your questions were so fun!! i’m doing this for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Name all OCs in your WIP

OMFG okay,,, wait do you mean full names?? POV characters as of rn are Collin Aisling Sutherland, Rowan Tilley (doesn’t have a middle name) and Avery Bristol Charter. then the next most important one is Isaac Michael Rosewell, even though he’s the antagonist. then the side characters that are still very featured are Noah Rosalyn Pratten, Reese Iseul Radley, and Sage Emarosa Delgado. THEN we get into the very very side characters, Willa Robinson and her son August Robinson. then we have Avery’s parents, Alaric and the late Octavia Charter. and thennnnn we have Beldane Moreno, Avery’s uncle and Collin’s grandfather (undecided abt that last name but going w it for now). i promise it all makes sense. i promise anfnfsjnfdjsfd

Name at least one hobby your Main character love

i’ll give this one to Collin, she is a musician! Avery’s mother always taught her music before The Accident (dun dun dunnn) and after Collin was abandoned in the Nigh she threw herself into music. she plays guitar mostly, but she secretly loves piano the best out of every instrument she knows

3 sentences about your current WIP

OOF. im so bad at summaries why would you do this to meee abfhshjbsbshfjsbf. “A determined believer wants to return to a home that never wanted her. Almost 4000 miles away, an incisive, intellectual outcast of a dreamer muses over getting out of their hometown. And infinities away from them both, a teenage revolutionary disappears into thin air, on his way to bring back his past and fix his (and everyone’s) future.”

Is there a romance in your WIP and did you plan it from the beginning?

yes! there are three! they are definitely a main focus of the plot, but not THE main focus. Reese and Rowan were definitely planned from the beginning. Collin and Noah were, too, but they weren’t originally enemies to lovers, and they are now (hehehehehe). and Isaac and Avery were DEFINITELY not planned from the beginning. in fact, Avery was originally paired up with Sage, but it’s literally so much better this way and i’m so glad it’s been changed. Isaac and Avery has been planned since about when Isaac’s character was thought up, one year into planning WTCMTS.

What genre(s) is it?

a mix of dystopia and urban fantasy. and it’s YA, borderline NA because some of the characters are 19-20, but i still think YA is appropriate because of the style of writing.

What’s the aesthetic of two of your characters?

fun question! Collin’s aesthetic is very emo-punk, with a splash of yellow towards the end of the series. piercings, blue hair, rips on clothing, dirty converse, smudged eyeliner, safety pins. the yellow comes in as part of her character arc, as she learns to accept that her childhood memories are tainted and not actually perfect utopia. Rowan is way more minimalist (sometimes). they’re into the bookstagram type aesthetic, and mom jeans with sneakers, jean jackets, plants against a white wall, colorblocked windbreakers, rain against a car window.

When did you start your current WIP?

WTCMTS was started in august of 2017 

How far along are you in the process (i.e 1st/2nd/3rd draft, worldbuilding)

still worldbuilding, unfortunately, for personal reasons

Who’s the hardest character for you to write?

OOOOOOF. sage or rowan?

What music genre best decribes your main character(s) and whats their favorite?

Collin - alternative (favorite band would be like twenty one pilots, p!atd) 

Rowan - ichillwave (clario, rex orange county)

Avery - emo (fall out boy, all time low)

Isaac - indie alternative OR instrumental lofi (jaymes young, birdy)

Noah - electropop (lorde, halsey, charlie xcx)

Reese - folk rock (the head and the heart, of monsters and men)

Sage - indie pop (lana del ray, florence + the machine)

Are you working on more than one WIP?

yes! i have four currently but only two are important lol, ILLUNIUS and WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY (this one). WIP PAGE

MY QUESTIONS

how did you come up with the title for your WIP?

is there anything you want to change about your WIP but you are hesitating on?

do you have a favorite character? a character that is your baby?

write a tinder bio for one of your characters.

how do you feel about epilogues? does your wip include an epilogue?

what changes does your MC go through over the course of the story?

what is the most significant insignificant thing that happens in your story? don’t explain why it is significant if it spoils things ;)

do you know what will happen after the ending of your wip, or would you rather not picture it?

how long does your wip span? is it a novel? a series? does it have prequels or spin-off wips?

what is a major internal conflict for your MC? 

do you include flashbacks in your wip? do you like writing flashbacks?

[HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A ______ NOVEL TAG]

TAGGED BY @writevevo​ AND @wolvesofarcadia​

thank you both for this tag! it’s so much fun and both of your novels sound like novels that would be very interesting to be stuck in :D

inspired by this post

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A HALOHIDINGS NOVEL

you’re an older sibling and you have a younger sibling. you’re extremely bitter towards your younger sibling for stealing opportunities from you, damning you to a life you never truly wanted. your younger sibling adores you and just wants to please you. they never meant to do it. 

you’re stuck in constant, wistful wanderlust, never feeling like you truly belong, never fitting in anywhere, not with friends, not with family, and when you finally find the place you’ve been looking for, you realize it’s nothing like you dreamed or remembered.

you’re not heterosexual. no one around you is. no one is cisgender either. where are they? no one knows. 

you have a peculiar capability dancing under your skin. it trickles from your pores and muddles with your mind. maybe you asked for it, maybe it was predestined, maybe you never wanted anything to do with it. whatever the reason, it’s there, and you don’t know what’s you and what’s it. maybe you’re not meant to ask. maybe you’re meant to succumb. 

your memories are as fickle as the rain, coming and going and breaking through the clouds, shattering the fog and disappearing with the sun. you can’t recall what you’re doing here, or where you’re meant to be instead. what’s your name?, they ask. you don’t know.

there are two worlds. one world is blissfully unaware of this, or at least, as unaware as any world of millions and millions of people can be. no secret can be kept forever, they tell you. you are desperately trying to keep the secret.

the one closest to you, despite your abhorrent denial of this fact, the one you would trust with your life, will betray you. because of their decision, their selfishness, you will either lose them, or lose yourself.

THOSE WERE SO FUN OMG. they all mostly apply to both of my major wips, which is probably bad. oh well LMAO

SORRY THAT WAS SOOOOOOOO LONG hope at least someone does one of these tag games lol <3 

xander out

[lichlover]

For the writing ask, #6 and #18!

let’s get meta!

6. what character do you have the most fun writing?

i mean, there’s no question about this one. it’s lup, yall. there’s a reason the fandom fell in love at line one—she’s smart, funny, charismatic and kind, pulls no punches when it comes to her teasing her twin or falling in love or blowing shit up. usually when i get interested in a character, it’s in some capacity; they’re particularly fun to write in a certain ship, au, or stage of life. but i could write anything and everything for lup and never get bored in a hundred years.

18. do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, aus of your own work, different characterizations?) tell us about them.

okay, this is a fun one. one of my original works in progress is a fantasy drama about the cast of a magical cabaret, featuring pacts with eldritch entities and anachronisms galore, and i actually have several different diverging storylines developed for it. characters live, they die, they make different deals with the devil, and the best part is they’re all kind of canon in my mind. i’m not sure how i’d publish it if it ever gets to that point, but it would be unconventional for sure.

[totallynotalesbian1212]

Bad Company

someone requested this on my wattpad one shot book so I figured I'd post it here. Also the song is by jule vera and she's great yall should check her out! We got nothing in our pockets Not a dollar on the way All we got is one another and a dream Alexander looked back on where it all started. They were sitting on an old dock watching the sunset, Eliza still in her wedding gown. She had insisted on going to her father's old vacation cabin for their honeymoon, so here they were, toes in the water and hearts intertwined. "Alex," Eliza spoke softly, though that seemed to be her normal tone, "I can't believe I caught someone like you. Angelica was wrong, you know. She said the only reason she gave up on you was you were too flighty, but now you're settling down with me. And I love you for that." Alex kissed her head lightly and thought about that. Of course he had his reasons for being flighty. It was easier to be abandoned if you didn't get attached, but people were like vines, if you didn't move your feet, you were trapped, by commitment and sentiment and nostalgia and guilt. So he ran, hell, he flew, to and from everyone, never staying for too long. Then Eliza came, and he landed. He let her wrap around him like a beautiful vine of morning glories and now here he was, ensnared by this new strange type of love. I keep trying to be patient but we're fighting while we wait Loving you is so much harder than it seems Eliza remembers when it started, too, but she remembers more where it all went wrong. "You really should spend more time with Pip, you know," she said, the softness in her voice now weighed down by years of housekeeping and politics and responsibilities. "And little Angelica barely even sees you." "I know, I know," he replied, waving his hands in a fashion that was all too predictible at this point, "I just have so much paperwork, so many things to write." "A vacation," she said abruptly, "we're taking a vacation and you're coming with us. You can take a break for a few months, let your coworkers handle some of the load, get to know your own kids, for God's sake! Spend time with your family!" "You know I can't do that," he laughed, shaking his head. But she wasn't laughing any more. She was too tired and frustrated to laugh. "Why do you put your job over your family?" she cried helplessly, remembering when helplessness felt good, "I just want to see you, my husband, for more time than a family dinner! We can go back to the old cabin, please, I need to know you again!" "No." How had the passion in his heart been replaced with this cold? Our futures dark but I just can't stop NO I'm not right for you You know you're no good for me Oh won't you be my bad bad company Because I'll lie to you And I know you like hurting me This wasn't supposed to be Maria's story, but she hated her own too much to stay in it. She had just gone for some help. A check, a job, hell even a hug or friendly conversation would've been enough to make her feel better. Then he saw the bruises. "Who did this?" he said, staring, a mixture of awe and horror in his bright eyes. "It doesn't matter," she said, not wanting another look of pity or sad remark, "that's not what I'm here to discuss. He leaned down, still staring her dead in the face, and kissed the bruise in her shoulder, making her cheeks flush and her heart race. "I can help. Please, let me help." And it did help for a while. The soft nights in a nice bed with a kind man almost made her forget her old run down apartment, with a pullout couch and a drunk bastard waiting for her. She had something, a thing to hold on too. But she couldn't keep the charade up. You can only ignore the pictures on the wall of a living wife and children for so long before the guilt sinks in. So she told James, which wasn't the best decision but she was desperate and helpless and she had no one else. The next time she visited Alexander, it was with a black eye and a blackmail letter from her husband. And so a new charade began. We got heartbreak in the making And we're drowning in the waves Keep on drifting its the only thing we know Yeah my story's always changing But you wanna play the game It all came crashing down in Alex's mind. He stared at the letters, in the same stationary he had written letters to Eliza with. Letters upon letters of lies and adultery and guilt. He had to do something. So he did what he ways did in crisis, he wrote. He wrote everything down, anything that would save his career. As he was writing, his wives words came into his mind. It's really true, he realized, my legacy means more than my family. And he wasn't okay with that, but he had no other choice. Burn each other, leave a little room for hope. Eliza sat on the bathroom floor, staring at the strands of hair, her hair, littering the tiles. She had grown it out because Alexander liked it long, but now she couldn't stand to look in the mirror at it, remembering the way he would stroke it so softly. She was done trying to please him. She was done trying to fulfill his fantasy of a perfect family with a good wife and children. He had shattered that fantasy the moment he kissed another man's wife. So she cut her hair and she gathered his clothes and threw them into his office, where he could sleep alone, with the cold silence he deserved. With the guilt he should feel. Maria was done fulfilling fantasies, too. She typed out a few texts to Alexander, telling him the truth, how he was a complete and utter idiot for betraying his wife, but she quickly deleted them. She realized she was just as much of an idiot, for falling for this cheap charade and believing he actually loved her at all. She packed her bags. She packed her old backpack and carry-on bag full of clothes, found what ever cash she could around the apartment, and she left for somewhere far away. Somewhere that she could be away from the fantasy she was trying so desperately to cling to, with a perfect life where she wasn't just a shattered girl that had crashed someone else's story. okay I hope you enjoy! I'm trying to write more often and requests are highly appreciated!

[queensofmystery]

every 4th question

*_* Thank you so much!!

(yall about to learn way too much about me I’m sorry)

4. name three authors that were influential to your work andtell why

Well since I’ve done a crap job of reading published fictionfor months, these authors haven’t been read for at least…seven months or morenow. But I still think about their work a lot:

Haruki Murakami: His books 1Q84 and The Wind-Up Bird Chroniclewere so beautiful to me—I know some think he’s overrated (and I haven’t readKafka on the Shore I’m afraid to) but those two books are so many things I loveabout fiction—aspects of magical realism, rich sensory details, and justlengthy prose that is never boring to me. So much of the fantastical is in hiswriting, so many strong images coupled with emotions, it’s just a joy to readhim, and I try to put some similar level of strong imagery in my work partlybecause of his influence I think.

Jean M. Auel: I read her Earth’s Children series when I was13, again when I was 18, and since I was 22 I’ve been really wrapped up in it,though not as heavily as I was seven months ago—I still think about it a lotand miss the protagonist, who’s been a huge comfort to me over the years. Itinfluenced my first college major (anthropology) and was the strongestinfluence on my passion to be a writer. Her prose is also rich in detail, butmore in a “textbook” kind of way which I think most readers found boring, but Iloved it, it helped me get wrapped up in the prehistoric world Auel builds.Also gave me a passionate love for strong women healers who are independent yetstill multi-faceted. :) (sound familiar?)

Hayao Miyazaki: He’s most well-known as a director ofseveral beautiful animated films from Japan. But in 2012 I read his mangaNausicaa of the Valley of the Wind and honestly it changed my life. Anotherstrong woman as a protagonist, and also such a beautiful message behind theentire work taken as a whole. Only added fuel to the fire of my passion forpost-apocalyptic narratives, which influences my original fantasy writing alot. But also that manga is so much about transformation, and compassion, andthe strength of humanity, I feel like I try to put that strength in all mycharacters in some way, even in fanfiction. Nausicaa is such a beautifulcharacter in so many ways…I could write an essay (kind of have already but it’sjust a messy ramble and over three years old now lol).

8. what time are you most productive?

Umm unfortunately either right before I eat dinner (I’m notsuper hungry in the evenings, I only eat to take my medicine, and I hate howtired eating dinner usually makes me) or really late at night after I’ve wokenup from an unplanned nap. On weekends I love to get writing done in themornings, between a small breakfast and just some snacks for lunch, but thatdoesn’t happen as often as I want.

12. favorite place to write

On my bed with my cat next to me (the only place I’m ever onmy laptop honestly)

16. easiest verse to write

Is this referring to universe as in what fandom do I mostprefer to write in?? I hope I’m reading that right…if not you can correct me!But obviously rn I only write for Elementary…but I hope to explore fantasy AUs,including Pacific Rim and His Dark Materials! And of course my vampire AU whichwill be so so exciting for me to write… I just love fantasy, so I suppose that’seasiest for me.

If my mind is playing tricks on me and this question isreferring to POV or tense…I’m really confused.

20. favorite character to write

Well this one’s obvious…Joan Watson. I’ve projected myselfon her an embarrassing amount really, but also she inspires me. I’m so happythat I took the plunge and finally started writing fanfiction because of her.

24. favorite scene you’ve ever written

I haven’t written a lot of fic yet, but my favorite that I’veposted online is…The First Night. It’s the most I’ve gotten into Joan’s head Ithink, that’s probably why I like it so much. And it’s just the tip of theiceberg of all the closure fic I want to write (I guess others call it fix-itfic but I see closure fic as a bit different than fix-it) which is why I was sodriven to write fanfiction in the first place (for the first time ever, it was so scary).

28. worst review you ever got

Everyone commenting on my fics has been so kind! I have nocomplaints in that area! But I will say there was this workshop in college…ohit was a dark time. Anyone ever have those writing professors who just abhorgenre fiction and look down on it and of course all you want to write is genrefiction and ugh…Well I wrote a story with two vampires who were enemies, andthe protagonist I was writing, the ideas for her were in their infant stagesand I just took a risk…and it didn’t pay off. Everyone was confused, no one hadanything good to say…that I remember. It was no fun.

32. alternate title for (insert story title)

Since you didn’t choose a title I will choose one myself!>_

36. one-shot or multi-chaptered story?

To read? Multi-chaptered story all the way. I love lengthystories, I will gobble them up every time if it’s characters/pairings I love!But this doesn’t mean I dislike one-shots, I love one-shots. I love both reallyI can’t say I have a strong preference for multi-chapter, I just have alwaysloved long stories, I love spending a long time with characters and gettingcloser to them that way.

To write? Sad to say I suck at plot so one-shots are mydeal. Or vignettes, if we want to be flattering. (I’m sure there’s a differenceI just haven’t learned it yet.)

40. which one of your stories would you most like to see asa movie/series

*shuffles feet* Love Is Touching Souls (which is a WIP but Ihave several chapters planned) It would give me so much closure and thegreatest joy to see my Elementary AU played out on screen by the beautifulactors…(sans Mycrosoft of course we all know I hate him…except that moment whenJoan smacks him the face. Which is what really happened in 2x23.)

44. do you write linear or do you write future scenes if youfeel like it?

So far I prefer to write linear, but I’m so impatient andfrustrated with myself because of that…I feel like I can never get enough done!I do a lot of planning…and if I feel really strongly about a scene I’ll write asuper rough draft or a snippet of it. Several of my WIPs just popped up thatway…including most of Love Is Touching Souls.

48. three spoilers for (insert story title)

Well, uh, you get spoilers for the future chapters of LoveIs Touching Souls cuz that’s the only long fic I have going! (Besides the Vegasfic which I will never abandon I stg it’s just on hold!)

Spoiler 1 involves the roof of the brownstone post 3x24.(will never be as good as @disheveledcurls‘ “and miles to go before I sleep” - please go read it if you haven’t and comment she deserves it - but I had to tryand express my paltry headcanons, it’s the least Joan and Sherlock deserve fromme)

Spoiler 2 will involve Joan discovering Moriarty’s lettersand deep discussion with Sherlock about the difference between Joan andMoriarty, which y’know we really should’ve gotten in the show I mean c’mon.

Spoiler 3 involves Joan in Peril because I have to write itokay I have to. It was one of the first stories I came up with actually (afterthe very first fic I ever started that should be chapter 3 of LITS, whichinvolves Sherlock in Peril so I just love writing my faves getting hurt I’mmean. But I also love Joan in Dr. Watson Mode so I couldn’t resist).