#do y’all get what I’m trying to say

[s4int0fthep1t]

i feel like people assume that i’m stalking their pages and spam-liking on purpose when in reality i just refresh tumblr every 30 seconds bc i get bored easily so a lot of the time i’m the first person liking people’s posts 😭😭😭

[thedesertpenguin]

So: 

Dennis in s6 is desperate for a marriage that he married Maureen. He wanted to be married, a reality in which two people have an emotional bond. He tried to have that with a woman his age but it fails because she doesn’t offer him the connection he wants.

In s7 e8 he agrees with Charlie’s assessment about social media and how it ruins human connection. Then says that whenever those people hear other having a real conversation, they shush them. They ruin the connection that he’s having.

We find out in s7 e11 that Dennis has long talks with his hookups (so you don’t have a great relationship w/your father) that are inherently emotional. Under the pretense that it’s with the system but this the first hookup. Not the one after he traumatizes the girl that leads to the “most emotional” and “best bang” of all. He connects to them. They’re younger women, they’re easier to connect with and talk to.

In Tends Bar, he wants the Gang to acknowledge his emotional needs. And wanted some form of connection with the Gang. He sees that Mac can offer him that and meet his emotional needs.

In the s12 finale, he feels a connection to his son. Instead of staying with the Gang who’s system is to move on the second they fail, he goes to where he believes he’ll have a connection.

In Frank v. Russia, his system is about connection, on a deeper level. He wants these men to view them as their mommy. Creating an emotional connection, however artificial.

Then here in the s16 finale. All he wanted was a person to connect with him. He didn’t want to talk to a machine he wanted real human connection. He continued to imagine Mac meeting and understanding his needs. He remembers the faces of everyone he walked past in order to concoct the situation in which he crushes a man’s heart into a diamond and eats it (while he imagined Mac trying to create diamonds from a pressure cooker, something’s there I’m sure). The idea of connecting with someone (to the point that he eats the diamond heart but like that’s just standard Dennis things) actively lowers his blood pressure.

Instead of putting himself in an imaginative bubble where he immediately connects with someone. He HAS to put himself through tremendous amounts of anger and frustration. That’s what makes the connection work. He went through all of that and that makes the connection with the dude so much more cathartic in his mind.

All this while he can’t recognize that that’s what he wants. That he only goes after younger women for plenty of reasons, one of which being that older women have consistently hurt him (his mom being uh, Barbara Reynolds and Ms. Klinsky). He cant go for a woman older than him because of that. He’s never met a woman his age that will connect with him the way he wants (He can’t seem to allow himself to fully connect with Dee). To the point that the women in his fantasy are constantly being the subject of his anger even if it is because of a system. He’s still yelling at these women.

It’s worth noting that he’s angry at the people who created a system. He’s created multiple. Multiple systems that have complicated and convoluted steps.

Then when he had that moment of connection it’s with a man. Because always, his emotional and human needs were met by a man.

He has always wanted human connection.

Anyway, fun episode im very normal about this.

[dimsilver]

the downside of my boyfriend and I both being very easily pleased is that we can never decide where to eat

[beckkii]

what really fucks me up is the fact that like. we still technically don’t know whether spamton’s “heaven” is the light world or our reality (aka outside the game)

because the fact that he was (presumably) able to see the light world through the shadow crystal would explain why he would want to reach there to be big. it would also make sense narratively, since reaching the light world would give him importance, as his purpose as a darkner is clearly not working for him

but then again, he knows what the sun looks like (and is seemingly obsessed with it, given how he has it painted everywhere). and there are no windows in the computer lab. so, the sun probably doesn’t refer to the light world, since he never saw it through the crystal. he COULD possibly just know what the sun looks like based on common knowledge, but…IS that common knowledge? do regular darkners know what the light works looks like?

wanting to reach our reality would ALSO make more sense when you think about how he’s likely in contact with gaster—the same guy who presumably told jevil the world is a game and knows about our reality

so…???

[zeb-z]

Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.

So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.

I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I can’t articulate it, but it gets to me that, outside of Spock and I think Tuvok, being logical and regulating emotions isn’t something that Vulcans are shown to just endure, the same way they endure lower temperatures for other species, or higher oxygen for other species, or anything else that has to be incredibly uncomfortable at best to painful at worst that they just endure

The vibe I get from it is that a majority of Vulcans enjoy it, they like being logical, maybe they didn’t get a choice in being logical as kids, but unlike the select few like Sybok, they don’t seem to be resentful that they were raised like that at all

This isn’t just something they’re all forced to do now to prevent their emotions from causing their species’ end, dedicating themselves to logic brought them inner peace

[sorrygotthesesacks]

Does size matter?

I mean, in this case, at least…

[daincrediblegg]

Nothing wrong with me

[leahthedreamer]

I refuse to participate in fs discourse in the off season anymore.

If someone says something stupid that’s on them EYE will not go back and forth with fellow fs watchers as there is never any nuance whatsoever on who’s offended who’s not offended who wants to forgive who wants to forget who wants to say xyz. I’m over ittt.

[mybiasisexo]

rents due and I’m $400 short

[tsscat]

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[irlnikeiyomiuri]

i had ONE decent interaction with another person and now i want to ask my friends to come hang out. however, i literally never left my house once covid started, and the few friends/acquaintances i chatted with, as soon as i saw them on person, i very strongly disliked them.

i have one friend.

[rosebud1010]

hi horny people on my phone :) just dropping in to comment on how crazy life is… how you could be a weird freak on ur own posting weird shit online because it’s the only way you know how to connect with your sexuality… and then the next day you could find someone who surprises you completely. how crazy and lovely life is when you don’t have to only imagine yourself doing those things anymore. you’re allowed that reality if you want it, and you deserve safety and love and everything that relationships should be expected to have. if you’re looking for that, i hope it finds you soon.

[hotroadkill]

today 2 years ago i was in america and i had the worst hangover of my life and i was in a waffle house with my friend in awkward silence bc we’d fought in a stranger’s kitchen the night before and the server refilled my water for the 5th time while i fought to swallow half a forkful of hashbrowns and she said “i know that look, y’all had a good time at the superbowl last night” and i was thinking actually we had a mediocre time at a nerd bar where u throw darts and all the drinks r named weird things and anyway my friend gives the fakest laugh ive ever heard followed by “yep we sure did” like are we in a CW show right now what was that line delivery and also what even is the superbowl i was born here and should know but honestly i’ve always just pictured everyone gathering at a comically large bowl of cereal but her nametag says leslie and she’s really nice and she’s refilling my water for the 6th time so yeah sure whatever i’m a red blooded american i’ll be anything for leslie in this moment and she tells us stories about working at bars downtown and my friend tells me bad jokes and i feel a little better even though my heart is kind of withering away because my flight is in 17 hours and theres not enough time never enough time i won’t see him for another year and a half and i won’t ever see leslie again and if i ever run into the italian stranger who fell in love with me over darts then it won’t be the same because we won’t be dancing and i’m sitting in a waffle house while the sun sets and i’m sweating gin and tequila and my flight is in 16 hours and i have so many goodbyes to say in this

city because when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out much less back together but i feel like ive been trying for eight years all the same and my flight is in 15 hours but maybe if my friend brings me home now i can spend three of those looking for more shards even though i’ll cut my hand because time never wore down any of the hurt because time might heal wounds but it cant really do jack shit about a metaphysical glass shard its still gonna make me bleed and my friend brings me home and we curl up beside each other in my childhood bedroom thats too small for us it was really a supply room but it became my bedroom when i was eleven and i painted it blue and put up stickers of fish and never took them down but someone someday will take them down and hopefully the house burns to the ground before anyone can touch them theyre mine i grew up here theyre mine dont touch them dont please dont please please please i grew up here and my flight is in 12 hours now because i fell asleep beside my friend and he let me because he knew i needed it he kept watch even though we dont have time we never do because he has to go now and all i can give him is a hug and my hoodie to keep safe until i can see him again and fight him in a stranger’s kitchen again and the sun is gone now and i go and i sit with my dad and my flight is in 10 hours and im trying

not to cry im trying to stare at the stickers because maybe if i look at all of it hard enough i’ll get to stay but i dont because thats not how it works and now my flight is in 4 hours because i fell asleep in my childhood loft bed and now i have to leave i have to pack up and go for the fifth time and it never never gets easier and i know i only have a few more trips left until someone takes my stickers down and paints over my ocean but for now my best friend’s stepmother comes with me and my dad to the airport because my best friend is in college two states away and my flight is in 3 hours and i cry i cry so much and she cries too because she loves me and i think it is such a beautiful blessed thing that i am so loved but oh it is so painful too because i spend more time in its absence than its presence and my flight is in 2 hours and i have to go and my dad is waving goodbye and i see it because i looked back because im stupid i always look back i never look forward i’m forever walking blind through my life because i’m looking back and i can tell my dad is crying and now i have to go through TSA sobbing and it’s awkward because they ask are you okay kid and im not but i cant tell them sorry its just that when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out i cant tell them that so i nod yes im okay and i go and my flight is in 1 hour and i hope it fucking crashes and my flight is in the air and im so far away from all those shards on the kitchen floor now but they’re hurting me all the same and i think i look kind of insane sobbing in the middle seat but how can i miss so many people and so many rooms at once and not lose my mind a little bit? i was going to tell you a short witty little joke about the time i realized i was 21 and didnt know what the superbowl was but i think i slipped on a shard. i’m sorry. maybe next time i’ll get it right. maybe in another two years. maybe you’ll never see me again. maybe this is all the time we had.

[spikeisawesome456]

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[seventh-district]

sometimes i wanna engage more in fandom but then i wade into the tags and quickly find myself surrounded by a sea of negativity and callouts and discourse and unspoken rules and dni lists a goddamn mile long. and so i wade back to shore and me and my social anxiety crawl back into our quiet, peaceful little cave