#do want to make a promo post for this one tho. this damn fic is 11 years old

[deadtower]

edited/rewrote the first chapter of the first chronicle fic i ever wrote, 11 years ago, and i’m just like … staring at it … because i am so nervous to post it. me, who was the-apex-predator for like 3 years. me, queen of the chronicle fandom circa 2012. me, who literally won a chronicle essay contest with physical prizes that were mailed to me

[puppy-phum]

#10YearPromise - pingxie blabberings

bc i wasn’t able to answer these questions throughout the week (as i’ve been traveling around while being extremely busy), i decided to just collect all of my answers under one post! i never tire talking about pingxie so this was extremely enjoyable ♥ am also practicing some very shameless self promo in this so be prepared!

thank you for @laireshi​ for organizing this event (i take it’s you alone? am not sure, sorry for my laziness) and being amazing in general ^^ i won’t be able to join as i am still very busy and summer is always pure chaos for me, so i can only hope that other ppl have fun! if you are not aware of 10 Year Promise Pingxie Exchange, you can find the original announcement post here. join in if you have the time and inspiration ^^ 

and then to my answers which i will be placing under the cut bc i don’t want to flood anyone’s dash with me going bonkers over these two idiots. enjoy tho if you decide to read this :’D ♥

I. What made you ship pingxie?

Back when I got into Reboot bc of ZYL (as has happened to many ppl probably) and then saw stuff about pingxie once I started going through that drama’s tag on tumblr, my first thought about them was that they had to be a crack ship. The way Reboot portrays them as well as their actors and their huuuge age difference affected this a lot, and I was actually cackling at them bc all their moments in Reboot made me just go “oh, socialist brotherhood at its best” in my head. But then I finished watching Reboot’s 1st season (as the 2nd one wasn’t out yet) and started reading some fics. I learned more about them and the canon storyline. I learned how damn devoted they are to each other, and after that, many moments in Reboot gained new meaning in my eyes. So, I think what made me ship pingxie was a mix of Reboot (especially the hallucination moment where Xiaoge dies and Wu Xie loses it bc that’s my jam as I later on became to notice) and then the amazing fics I dug out during that time. After that the love grew stronger as I watched the other dramas, and these days I’m a lost cause. I feel like I spend most of my awake time thinking about these two and their love. They are amazing. I cry rivers for them.

II. Which pingxie version is your favorite?

After finding pingxie, I fell in love with them properly during TLT2. There is just something about that stage of their relationship for me, the stage where both of them are still very tentative about everything but they have deep down accepted that they’re tied now. Wu Xie is figuring out so many things, coming to terms with being betrayed by his uncle and slowly realizing that something bigger is going on behind the scenes. Meanwhile, Xiaoge is learning how to trust Wu Xie and how to accept that he cannot leave this naïve boy behind. It feels very fragile, and I have so many emotions about TLT2 bc of this. Xiaoge is so soft and feels very multilayered. Wu Xie is still his naïve self but is slowly gaining some sharper edges as he comes to face the cruel world. I like how Cheng Yi and Hou Minghao have portrayed this dynamic. Also, TLT2 is just very extra with all the pingxie scenes, who would be able to resist loving them? So, I have to admit that my favorite pingxie is these two, tho Ultimate Note comes very, very close.

III. What’s your favorite pingxie headcanon?

Headcanons are a bit hard for me as I don’t know enough of the canon. I have not read the novels so most of the story I’ve just patched together from all the bits I’ve read from somewhere (here, on twt, in fics) and through the scenes the dramas have shown me. I feel like the whole world is lowkey made of headcanons for me :’D But hmm, my favorite pingxie headcanon… I’d say there are two and then one bonus bc it’s more a Wu Xie related headcanon than just pingxie. The first one is that the pingxie confession happens after the Bronze Gate. It feels like the only moment when they’re both ready for such a thing. I’d say Xiaoge comes to realize his own feelings a lot earlier and he might tell something to unconscious Wu Xie before leaving for ten years, but he will not actually leave Wu Xie with such a burden. He doesn’t want to ask anything when it sounds like he doesn’t even believe that Wu Xie will be willing to wait for him, and I’d say that for him, his feelings are going to be fine even if Wu Xie never learns about them. He might even wish that Wu Xie never learns about them bc he’s not able to promise much as an immortal and amnesiac being (he outlives Wu Xie, most likely forgets him). For Wu Xie however, I’d say he needs time. He really is way too naïve and I’d say that he needs those ten years to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. I dunno who confesses first after Xiaoge returns but I think that only after that decade their relationship is “mature” enough to hold the weight of a confession (even if I also love to play around with the thought of them getting together during the events of Ultimate Note bc that drama offered many good chances for that). Another headcanon for me is that Xiaoge will find a way to die when Wu Xie does. After learning about them more, I feel like Reboot implies this too. Xiaoge is very accepting of Wu Xie’s death but in the last moments, when he really thinks that this is going to be it for Wu Xie, he hesitates. We see a spark of desperation there, and I’ve come to think that his initial plan, the plan he came up with once he got that call from Wu Xie and knew he would join Wu Xie on his last adventure, was to see this through for Wu Xie’s sake and then leave and die alone. I don’t know how much there would be left for Zhang Qiling after Wu Xie is gone. I feel like this is also what Wu Xie fears. But would he really resent Xiaoge for joining him in death after living such a long and hard life? I’d say no and I’d say that even Pangzi accepts this as one of the most likely outcomes. The bonus one then feels very personal to me. I don’t usually talk about this bc I feel so unsure of even mentioning this but I’ve seen others with similar thoughts so am sharing! I’ve never before gotten any vibes about a character’s sexuality in a drama I’ve watched but Reboot Wu Xie looked at me once in the eye and all I could hear was my brain yelling “asexual”. So, that is just my personal headcanon for Wu Xie. He’s ace and proud of it. He can flirt etc. but sex makes him go naah. He doesn’t need it or want it. He can appreciate beauty and hot ppl without wanting to sleep with them and I think his relationship with Xiaoge fits very well into this. I don’t have any personal experiences with being ace but I feel like Wu Xie has read the name once, shrugged and gone, “guess that’s me” and continued on with his life. He’s badass like that and I love him for it. (take a very relevant meme lol from this post)

IV. What’s the ideal pingxie date?

Ah, christ. I dunno if I’ve ever thought about them going on a date? In the middle of tomb raiding, hospital trips and fighting against powers bigger than themselves, I’ve rarely seen any time for them to do something like that lol. But after Ultimate Note, I’ve thought about star gazing a lot. Just them, the infinite night sky and some lonely hilltop. They would probably take a blanket with them, huddle together and talk about things in hushed voices. Wu Xie would go on a ramble about all the constellations and their meanings and mythology behind them and Xiaoge would just nod at him and watch Wu Xie talking. Maybe he would offer some tidbits in the middle of the rambling, making Wu Xie smile brightly. It would be relaxing and comfortable and loving. They would make out a lil bit. Would maybe lie down and play with each other’s hair. All their worries would feel insignificant. Wu Xie would fall asleep for a moment and Xiaoge would wake him up with a kiss to get him moving again so that they don’t need to sleep on the cold ground. They would return home and drink something warm and then go to sleep, cuddled together and happy. relevant edit x

V. What’s your favorite pingxie getting together scenario?

I guess I already talked about this a bit but let me elaborate then! As said, I’d see it happening after the Bronze Gate. I am not sure if it would be right away (they’re both going through so much trauma at that point) or if it would happen after Reboot (maybe we would still need Wu Xie almost dying for them to get their shit together), but I’d say it happens in a rush either way. It’s one of those “I have to tell you something before it’s too late” -type of moments. Or one of those “Bc I love you, you idiot!” -type of moments. I feel like I keep thinking that maybe Wu Xie would have to confess first bc as said, Xiaoge wouldn’t like to burden Wu Xie with his feelings when there’s so little he can give in the sense of normalcy. But then again, I have written a oneshot where Xiaoge is the first one to confess and that always feels better for me. That at some point Xiaoge feels secure enough to tell Wu Xie about his own feelings. That he feels confident and comfortable enough to say it out loud while still expecting nothing in return bc he knows that Wu Xie won’t abandon him either way. But no matter how that happens, I always see it as this dam breaking. The emotions finally become too strong. Something happens that reminds them that life is too short. Something happens that makes them finally talk it out and ah, Pangzi can finally take a break, what a joy

VI. What’s your favorite pingxie moment?

Every adaptation has its own good moments so let me make a list (like I saw someone else do too):

The Lost Tomb:

Xiaoge rescues Wu Xie from the shibie

Wu Xie worrying over unconscious Xiaoge plus taking care of him in the hotel room

The Pingxie MomentTM aka Xiaoge saving Wu Xie from falling and then cradling the boy to his chest while thumb rubbing his shoulder

The Lost Tomb 2:

Xiaoge revealed to be Baldie and Wu Xie yelling at him about it

Lowkey the whole underwater tomb arc bc holy shit that’s gay

Wu Xie losing it when Xiaoge doesn’t come up from the underwater tomb, diving after him and then almost dying himself + Pangzi getting angry at him for being stupid

pingxie ft. magical skype in the bronze tree cave (and Xiaoge being emo about the 1000yo warrior guy right before that)

Xiaoge rescuing Wu Xie from drowning (they shared air, you cannot convince me otherwise) + Wu Xie giving Xiaoge his watch in the hospital (relevant edits x x)

Wu Xie’s face when he sees Zhang Buxun in the coffin bc I love pain :)

Xiaoge not shooting Wu Xie despite not remembering him in the mountain village

Wu Xie grabbing Xiaoge’s jacket after being kidnapped and the Iron Triangle reunites in that old Chen guy’s cabin, asking, “Is that you?” from Xiaoge to make sure that he remembers again while looking like the biggest puppy (relevant edit x)

also some relevant memes x

Ultimate Note:

The hand over mouth reunion in the Golmud Sanatorium

“Xiaoge will ignore anyone else but you”

Xiaoge pretending he isn’t Losing ItTM throughout the whole time Wu Xie is in the Devil’s City with A-Ning

more hand over mouth with the gigantic snake

“The goddess has ascended”

Wu Xie protecting Xiaoge after he returns from the jade meteorite 

“Do you remember me?” “Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie promising to help Xiaoge find his memories no matter what bc Xiaoge’s business is Wu Xie’s business 

“Maybe you can return home with a wife today.” Wu Xie: proceeds to stare at Xiaoge, horrified

“Take me home.”

The sword gifting scene (especially Xiaoge denying the possibility of him killing Wu Xie or them harming each other, relevant edits x x)

other relevant edits for ultimate note x x

Reboot:

Wu Xie telling Xiaoge about his sickness and then Xiaoge coming back and promising to join Wu Xie on his trip (relevant edit x)

the death hallucination bc am a masochist 

Wu Xie’s death dream where Xiaoge calls to him but then accepts his choice to move forward bc am a masochist pt. 2

pingxie reunion in the Thunder City forest where Xiaoge saves Wu Xie & co. from the poisonous gas 

the moment in Thunder City where Wu Xie sits outside at night, eating the peanuts Pangzi gave him and then notices Xiaoge, offering him the peanuts and smiling 

when Xiaoge leaves for the last time and then gets reunited with healed Wu Xie against all odds

the train scene and their softest smiles to each other  

Time Raiders:

Wu Xie being the best bean and just wanting to befriend this mysterious man while seeing right under his skin and making Xiaoge baffled and fall in love in approximately 0.5 seconds

Xiaoge, catch! *proceeds to save only Wu Xie when they fall into that shibie horror chamber*  

Xiaoge’s desperation to save Wu Xie from the crumbling ground 

their death waltz at the end of the movie plus Xiaoge’s sacrifice

+ Sand Sea: 

“Don’t you dare call him Xiaoge!” 

Wu Xie offering his friends and then himself as comfort to Li Cu when he’s scared while smiling very softly at the memory of Xiaoge 

“But isn’t his surname Wu?” Hei Xiazi: You have seen nothing yet, you sweet summer child

Wu Xie talking about Xiaoge’s past in the temple (aka the Tibetan Sea Flower story bc I just adore how pretty they’ve made those scenes) 

VII. What is the best gift Wu Xie and Xiaoge could give each other?

I haven’t really thought about this type of stuff either bc we have already seen a ton of gifts being exchanged! I love the watch Wu Xie gives to Xiaoge in TLT2 as mentioned (it’s so silly but also so sweet) and I love it that Wu Xie gifts Xiaoge with a new sword in Ultimate Note. Also, I feel like I can count the food Wu Xie leaves for Xiaoge in Ultimate Note and that one moment where Xiaoge offers his knife for Wu Xie as a “pen”. They would give anything for each other as long as the other asked (which they never do) so I dunno what type of gift would matter the most. As it’s so hard to say, let me talk about one more headcanon that I’ve been thinking about ever since the infamous Bazaar photoshoot for Ultimate Note/XYL & ZSX. So, we see them having matching rings and necklaces in that photoshoot. I think jewelry would be kind of difficult for Xiaoge to wear when he needs to fight, as jewelry could be a hindrance in that type of situation But my brain won’t shut up about “pingxie married!!!” when I ask this question from it. To be honest, I do not see pingxie getting married in the traditional sense. They don’t need something like that after everything they’ve gone through. But I like to play around with the thought of promise rings. Just them exchanging rings for fun, for their own sakes, to have something concrete that reminds them of their promise to each other and of their feelings. Maybe even Xiaoge could wear that ring under his gloves idk. But am a sucker for that thought so my answer to this is then simply: a ring. relevant edits x x

if you read this far, thank you so much! I hope this gave you something and thank you once more for organizing this and allowing everyone to share their love for pingxie ^^ ♥

[shireness-says]

Self-Promo Sunday Tag Game

Tagged by: @profdanglaisstuff, @idoltina

Just for fun this Sunday, let's talk about our personal favorites of our own fics.

Not the ones we necessarily think are the “best.” The ones we go back and reread again and again (because if you don’t reread your own fics what are you even doing?), or the ones we wrote for something or someone special, or the ones that were most difficult to write and just make us proud when we think about them? Whatever criteria you choose, just talk a bit about the fics of yours that you really like.

Thanks for tagging me, ladies! Pardon my long list - I just posted my 60th (!!!) fic, so there’s a lot to choose from. In no particular order:

wait for the morning (i’ll be waiting for you)

Oh, I had so much fun writing this one. I’ve reread it an embarrassing amount of times, honestly. I loved getting to reimagine how things might have been different, without the second curse - what things I would have wanted to see, what things I would have skipped over, where that would have taken us. What it might look like if Emma and Killian had been able to grow into their relationship given a bit more time. There was a moment where I wrote the end - where I wrote about Emma choosing to believe that they have True Love - where I got so mega excited because suddenly, I had stumbled into a theme, and I needed to go back right that second and drop breadcrumbs of belief throughout the rest of the fic. 

Another Page

I think this is probably one most folks don’t know about - both because it’s a sequel to my 5b divergence, and because it follows Belle. Pairing her up with Fitz (P&P’s Colonel Fitzwilliam) was actually @snidgetsafan‘s idea - I said I wanted to give her a sweeping Austen-esque hero, and she dropped the perfect option right in my lap. What it really comes down to is that I loved figuring out who I’d want Fitz to be, character-wise, that would make him perfect for Belle. She deserves her happy ending!

A Fate Woven in Thread and Ink

I’m just really proud of this one. Some days, I feel like it’s cheating; I’m adapting an existing work to fit CS, after all. But still, I’m proud of the breadcrumbs I’m dropping, and the tone I’ve maintained, and the atmosphere I’ve described. It’s a real labor of love, and I adore figuring out how all the pieces should fit together. 

Killian Jones and the Lost Boy

Again, one I’ve reread an embarrassing amount of time considering it’s my own damn fic. But! It’s soft and fluffy and the perfect pick-me-up. Writing children is a challenge for me, sometimes, but I’m pretty pleased with how I wrote Henry - his particular four-year-old stubbornness and the little kid things like accidentally holding up too many fingers. Of course Killian came to love that kid - who wouldn’t?

The Song Remains The Same

There’s a particular yearning to this one that I think is lovely - that feeling of second chances and paths not taken. I love stories about people reckoning with change - none of us are completely static, and I love dealing with that. I think it makes for a nice story - both people reckoning with changes within themselves and with others. It’s a nice emotional tension you can take so many ways. Also, my 20-somethings (and early 30-somethings): don’t pretend you didn’t want cinematic dancing to The Only Exception. It’s waltz-time, that’s a universal feeling. 

The Queen’s Librarian

Dat library, tho. Also, librarian!Killian. And semi-naked sword fighting. Enough said. 

What fics would you guys add to this list?

Tagging: @ohmightydevviepuu, @welllpthisishappening, @optomisticgirl, @phiralovesloki, @winterbythesea

[happyprinceling]

Can't you just choose one of the boys to follow tho? I know you love Harry and he's by far the best member of 1d, in terms of politics and making music. He's the less problematic, and it would be such a happy place for you. Most of harries are LGBT, since you're a larrie and leaving the fandom... I know it must be stressful to see everyone complaining about Louis' distasteful career.

listen, i appreciate that you care and that you want to give advice, but i’m well over the point of needing that. i’ve been here for 6 years. and i’m apparently gonna start one last discussion lmao because what you’re saying is simply not true. harry is i n f u r i a t i n g. i hate his politics. i hate how fandom reacts to his image and promo. he is so f u c k i n g problematic, i had to actively ignore his shit so i could stand him. and that’s not?? how fandom is supposed to be lol

also, most louies are lgbt*+ too and i haven’t been a larrie in ages, it’s not about that. you’re putting words in my mouth lmao i’ve never said a single thing about louis’ career and i certainly do not think it’s distasteful, the fuck?? on top of that i made sure not to follow anyone who puts more negativity than positivity on my dash so i didn’t even see the complaining you’re talking about. I’m not leaving because one or two people express sadness i’m leaving because people, my friends, are recieving doxxing and death threats and verbal abuse,  and all the fucking white people don’t listen to poc and all the fucking cishets (and tbh cis non-hets) aren’t listening to trans people and those four white millionairs are babied and hyped as if they need even more privilige and support in life.

GOD and harry!! who’s treated as some sort of activist! Harry never did SHIT as an activist!! everyone fucking knows how much i love him and how much i appreciate him wearing gay shit but god fucking damn doing that and donating 0.0000001% of your income to a charity once in a while is NOTHING compared to what lgbt poc have to go through EVERY DAY. i’m SICK of people declaring him some kind of saviour (when woc, especially black singers, are right there). like. look at one (1) non-white activist for once, i beg you.

as i said in my other ask, there’s shitheads in every corner and even if i only followed lgbt*+ poc there was always something worrisome because we are the ones that get the most harrassment within the fandom. I’ve put a lot of energy into trying to make this fandom a safer space, i’ve made posts and wrote fic and had discussions, i’ve tried to support people getting harrassed, i’ve tried not engaging and i’ve tried blocking and i ended up fucking drained. because, while there’s a few people who accept and try to do better, there’s so much more who just don’t give a shit. and it’s not just a reflection of society, it’s fucking amplified.

oof. god that felt good, thanks for triggering my anger lmao and also if anyone dares to start shit you’ll either get blocked or screamed at and in either case you’ll prove my point and allow me to finally let out my emotions

[sparatus]

1, 6, 7, 9, 24?

thank u anon friend

mass effect ask prompts

1.What’s the first name of your main Shepard?

uhhh that depends lmao!! i have two “main” sheps one for a verse where reapers are a thing and one for a verse where they’re not

if (reapers = yes); then shepard is jai shepard, who i actually share with @ardentzer0!! jai’s canon is heavily edited so we can save as many characters as we damn well please, have jai act and react the way they would actually act and react rather than the options you’re forced into taking in-game, and generally make some things make a bit more sense. nihlus lives, because saren is his best friend and sovereign can’t force him to kill his best friend. because nihlus lives, saren lives, cause he trusts nihlus enough to listen to him. tali’s dad lives. kal’reegar and nyreen and tarquin victus live. it’s much less depressing favorite shepard

if (reapers = no); shepard is matteo, and they’re getting their own no-reapers au fic series on ao3. i just posted an update so if ur not reading it yet allow me to obnoxiously self-promo

6.Your favourite Paragon interrupt?

i actually can’t remember a lot of the interrupts atm but i know there’s one to give tali a hug and comfort her when you find her dad’s body in me2 and i always slam it so fast!!!!! one time i accidentally missed it cause i was briefly distracted and i actually reloaded and went back through like half the mission cause i couldn’t NOT hug her!!!! (i’m pretty sure it was on my hardcore pt, too..... suffer)

7.Your favourite Renegade interrupt?

HEADBUTTING UVENK!!!!! it’s so satisfying, like normally when a character is arguing with me i try to think abt it from their pov and see if they do have a point and if the narrative is just biasing me against them, and i do understand his concerns, but yknow what?? his concerns are bullshit. he’s one of the rare cases where the narrative telling u a guy is a fuk is 100% correct. fuck uvenk. i love bashing my skull against his.

9.Share a headcanon about your Shepard and their LI.

AH SHIT i have so many shepards tho..... okok lessee. i’ll do uhhhh one for gavrail and cortez, cause the more i talk abt gav the more i can talk myself into picking up me3 and making him finally

gavrail is really gruff and standoffish and brash, he’s got a lot of issues with ptsd from torfan that never really got addressed (mostly cause the alliance wanted to prop him up as a big goddamn hero™, and in canons where he’s not shepard also cause once he figured out what the alliance was up to he fucked right the hell off to omega to cope his own way) and he expresses them by deliberately keeping everyone at arm’s reach or farther. but when he meets steve, and hears about what happened to him..... he softens up. he empathizes with steve over what happened to robert and other people he cared about on the colony, and steve is the first person he really opens up to about what happened on torfan. he feels safe around steve, and comfortable expressing those emotions he’s been keeping bottled up inside.

24.Enemy you really hate?

the collectors in general tbh!!!!! especially the fucking praetorians...... always bring a cain with me in me2 when i know there’ll be a praetorian :/// scions are also evil just cause of how long it takes to whittle them down, esp when i’m playing a squishier class (feliks is a sentinel and i’m playing on hardcore, save me), but praetorians are The Devil. also harbinger has an annoying habit of possessing collectors right when they’re on their last fucking sliver of health and i hate him for that

[puppy-phum]

Now that this hell year is almost over let’s celebrate the good things! If you’re receiving this it means you have made someone’s year better. Tell who on tumblr has made this year better for you (as many people as you like, it can be something as small as liking your posts or sending something sweet) and share some of the content you’ve enjoyed (your own or others)

thank you so much dear anon! ♥ I am happy to know that I’ve managed to make someone’s year at least a tiny bit better :’) as a year on tumblr, this year has been very special to me personally so am happy to know that someone has felt that too!

this is going to be a huge list so be warned! putting it under the cut bc of that~

@i-am-just-a-kiddo you are and will always be on this list first and foremost. you and our friendship is the best thing I have gotten from this hellsite and I continue being thankful for it ♥ I always have so much fun talking to you, you support me so unconditionally, share things with me and allow me to just yell about things every day! you never get bored of that endless stream of random nonsense I pour on you and it means so much to me ♥ I also feel honored to share your things, to see your paintings and read your writings and just be there for you. let’s hope the next year will be kinder to us and the world in general! and hey, maybe you get into guardian at some point heh (and thank you for getting into so many things with me this year already!)

@leonzhng I think I said this at some point too but you were the reason why I got into this community we have going on with @mdzsnet and gave me the confidence to just approach ppl here and love things together ♥ you are always so sweet and kind and lovable and I appreciate you doing all the things you do. your edits are amazing and inspirational and I love all the tag games we keep throwing around :’D 

@ashenwren you!! you are amazing and I’m so happy to have gotten to know you through our network :’) I am excited every day when I get to talk to you, even if it’s just for a moment as our timezones make everything kind of difficult :’D it’s just so nice to share mdzs and dmbj with you, to help you get into these dramas, to share all these ideas and thoughts we have, to share our different cultures and languages and whatnot. you are always so supportive and excited and kind and I wish I could hug you sometimes! I hope I still can write something more for pingxie and that I get to see a ton of your art! ♥

then to all the wonderful ppl in our network who have made my tumblr experience so wonderful this year, who keep being kind and amazing and full of so much talent! to @manhasetardis @aheartfullofjolllly @bees0are0awesome @highwarlockkareena @yibobibo @linglynz @yiqiie @wangxiians @leoyunxi @tiesanjiao @lan-xichens @oneautumnfox @aowyn @wangxianbunnydoodles @weiwuxcian and many others who I might have forgotten: I enjoy seeing you in my notes so much, I enjoy all of your content, seeing us all interact with each other and just being very friendly and welcoming ♥ I am thankful every day that I got to join this network and learn to know so many! continue being awesome and have a nice upcoming year :’)

then quickly to:

@lzswy thank you for loving my music and wanting to know me! I hope we get to talk some more and feel free to push music my way too, am always ready to drown in songs :’)

@kholran thank you for doing my tag games and allowing me to talk to you, to call you my friend, and share my love for liu sang! I will once again tell you that your fic (link here if anyone reading this is interested) was amazing and I hope we get to talk some more! 

and then thank you to all the ppl who I see in my notes all the time and leave amazing tags and just love me with interacting with my content and sometimes making it more known and just giving it their all: @btssjamss @a-force-dyad-in-space @cuppyhands @mylastbraincql @drwcn @fytheuntamed @distantsnows @brutalbeetle @intimisky @kazaore @inessencedevided @bluebelle88 @actualmichelle @sassyassassy @thebeautifulmacabre @merinnan @inkblue-black and many others who I might not recognize or remember or find right now! or who I have already mentioned in the network part bc you guys are awesome like that :’) especially when I have tried out new things this year and have dipped into new fandoms and reached out of this mdzs pit I am still in and unwilling to leave ♥ but you are still there and like my content haha

and then I want to mention some of my favorite works this year (I’ll try to pick one per month from my archives oh boy): 

@i-am-just-a-kiddo‘s amazing niemo fic that owns my heart, soul, and the never to be born firstborn ♥ 

@bloody-bee-tea‘s amazing mdzs related fics that always just make my heart clench but also bring me so much joy!

this amazing wangxian edit that still shatters me

this amazing wwx edit by hanyi ♥ @leonzhng I love the quote in this and this breaks me in all the best ways!

@fytheuntamed‘s whole the untamed memes series that single-handedly has saved this year for me (tho I suppose this started earlier than this year but who cares, quality content either way)

this jc outfits collection post by @linglynz ♥ everything for my am-a-hoe-for-the-angry-purple-guy -needs

this amazing art by @/hana-tox that still gives me so many feels that I feel like bursting 

this stunning edit set for the best album that dropped this year, map of the soul: 7, by @/kassareo

this wangxian edit that inspired me a lot and still makes me catch my breath bc damn that looks gorgeous (by @/itsazbitch)

another very inspirational edit set by @/sammyholdsacandle (some might recognize which one of my edits got inspired by this a lot lol) 

this very beautiful post by @alienwlw that’s really just goals tbh 

@sarawatsaraleo‘s favorite the untamed scenes series, every one of these edits is a huge joy and so beautifully done! ♥

@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful, wonderful wangxian edit that keeps being my one of my favorites ever and just. inspires me to this day, I hope one day I can gif :’D ♥

another one of my absolute favorites is this edit by hanyi again ♥ you just have the best ideas and you make everything so pretty!

this soft but heartbreaking, delicate but so emotional edit by @gusucloud ♥ I think I’ve never loved an edit this much, it’s so pretty and absolutely perfect!

this edit by @highwarlockkareena bc wth, the coloring? the gifs themselves?? gosh it looks so pretty and I might cry

@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful gifset made for the gif challenge that was going around during this time ;; as I was slowly falling in love with the iron triangle and dmbj in general, this felt like a blessing ♥ 

these absolutely stunning pieces of art by @/tiphs 

this absolutely gorgeous post for wwx’s bday by @alienwlw (all of this is just. perfect?? the colors, the gifs, the scenes... everything!)

this gorgeous edit by @distantsnows that makes me smile and cry at the same time ♥

this edit also by @distantsnows that is just. pure perfection?? bc fuck yes, sect leader jaing yanli!! I love you for this one

this edit by @lanzhansmiles bc the colors are just absolutely stunning and I love how they both sit there like that and just? wow 

this edit just makes me feel so many things and just looks so dreamy by @cescedes 

this adorable but also very painful edit by @manhasetardis ♥ I love all about this one :’)

and as a shameless self-promo (bc apparently I haven’t done enough of that lol) I want to mention my wu xie edit which was just so much fun to do and turned out so great and. I just love him a lot ok, he’s a wonderful character and zhu yilong played him so well ♥

I wish you all – all the ppl mentioned here and all who see this and all who still do not – a very merry christmas, happy holidays, and happy new years too! I hope the year 2021 will treat us all well and that you will remain as amazing, lovely, and wonderful as you all have been! ♥