#do u think this is part of why brian was more surprised than anyone that he fell in love lol

[anhonestslut]

do you ever think about how justin goes completely against brian’s type based on what we see in the show. like aside from that lookalike he hired, we almost exclusively see him with the same type of guy over and over. i don’t have any thoughts about this it’s just. interesting 

[angrylizardjacket]

is a virtue {Brian May} [1/2]

[ And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse ]

Summary: Gizelle wants to set Brian up with one of her friends, a model named Patience Hall, and the guitarist is surprised to find how nervous he is, and how Patience is nothing like he expected.

A/N: PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE MY DEAR LOVE, anyways i adore patience and i need to write more about her. this is part 1, but there is a part 2 coming. @ginghampearlsnsweettea and @prettyboyroger i lov u both to the moon n back

----

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” it’s a Wednesday afternoon, overcast, though that in itself wasn’t really a sign of anything, especially not in the middle of Winter, but still Brian feels a wave of apprehension settle over him when he realises Gizelle is talking to him. The band is waiting for Freddie to show up since he’s late, again , and while Roger’s working on a new drum solo, and John and Veronica perusing a furniture catalogue together, but Brian’s been writing lyrics, perched on his amp.

Gizelle, coffee in one hand, designer handbag in the other, cocks her hip as she waits for Brian to look at her, and comprehend what she’s said, and she watches with amusement as a range of emotions flick across his face.

“You’re not trying to set me up with one of your sisters, are you?” Brian asks, and Gizelle has to bite back a smile as she plays innocent.

“You and Gabrielle get on well, don’t you?” Behind her, John snorts a laugh where he’s clearly eavesdropping, but Brian sighs as though terribly put upon.

“You know that’s not the one I meant.”

“As hilarious as I find the concept of you and ‘Vanna together, unfortunately she’s taken up with some American hair-metal boy, so no, I’m not trying to set you up with one of my sisters.” There’s the faintest twitch of her lips that indicates she’s trying not to smile at the thought, but for Gizelle knowing the sound guys are in the very next room, it’s her equivalent of a full-bellied laugh.

“So go on then, tell me then, who’s the unlucky lady?” Brian asks with only the barest hint of amused self-deprecation. Gizelle gives him a flat stare, the way her perfect eyebrows lower being the only real change in her facial expression, but it’s enough to let him know that she’s disappointed in his negative self-talk.

“She’s a friend of mine,” Gizelle explains, “we met through work.”

“She in a band?” Brain asks, interest piqued, finally putting down his notebook and pushing off from the amp to stand. Gizelle shook her head.

“My other work, Miami and I’s mutual friend is representing her in a contract dispute, and he brought me in to raise her profile and make sure she’d still get work after the dust settles,” Gizelle explained, which only seemed to confuse the guitarist, “even if she wins and gets out of her contract, there’s no guarantee she won’t be blackballed from potential jobs in the future so -”

“So you throw your support behind her and everyone and their dog wants to hire her,” Brian nodded, finally understanding, and Gizelle cracks a smile, “is that why you want me to meet her? Do you want us to hire her?” And there’s confusion in his voice, but it’s Gizelle’s turn to be confused.

“She’s a model; I want you to meet her because I think you’ll like her,” she tells him bluntly, and Brian’s expression lights up as he goes pink around the ears, pleased.

“Are you sure?” He’s trying to play it cool, “not that I don’t trust your judgement, but you did marry Roger .” And they both ignore Roger’s indignant scoff, but Gizelle’s smiling at that, her fond gaze flicking to him over Brian’s shoulder before she looks back to see Brian’s amused expression.

“I promise you’ll like her,” Gizelle assured gently, before offering him her coffee cup to hold, fishing around in her bag for a moment. Pulling out a business card, she hands it over with a flourish, “she knows I’m giving you her number; she’s expecting your call.”

“Oh is she now?” Brian raises his eyebrows, smiling as he exchanges the coffee for the card, taking the time to read it.

Patience Hall in a neat, nondescript typeface, white text against the dark skinned model whose headshot made up the background. On the back, there’s a business and fax number, but beneath those, neatly handwritten, sits a personal telephone number.

“This is her?” Brian’s voice is a little soft, a little awed as he takes in card as a whole; it feels so professional. Looking at the model, at her serious expression and gorgeous dark eyes printed in black and white, he quietly gets a little giddy at the idea of taking her out. When he looks up, meeting Gizelle’s gaze, he thinks she can tell.

“That’s her,” Gizelle nods once, and Brian lets himself smile a little wider.

Brian calls Patience that night, after Freddie finally shows up to rehearsals and the band is polishing the last few songs on their new album before they shut themselves into the studio for a few weeks to record it.

“ Good evening, this is Patience, ” the voice on the other end of the line answers after only two rings, soft and lilting despite the crackle of the phone line. Brian hesitates. “ Hello ?”

“Hello,” he finally finds his voice, “hi, this is Brian May, Gizelle Taylor gave me your number,” as if it could have been any other Gizelle , he’s already mentally berating himself, but he hears her laugh on the other end of the line, kind and relieved.

“ Oh, I’m so glad to hear from you! She told me you’d be calling, but I never expected it to be this soon,” she muses, and Brian grins.

“I can call back in a few days,” he offered, his smile clear in his words, “if this is too fast -” but she cuts him off quickly.

“ No, no! ” She’s quick to say, “ I’m not complaining at all, it’s lovely to hear from you! ”

Patience sounds like she’s smiling, like she’s genuine in her words, and Brian can feel himself flushing. She doesn’t ask him about Queen , and he doesn’t ask about her modeling, instead, they stumble through some small talk before he’s asking her out to dinner.

“Or lunch,’ he follows it up with quickly, “if you’d prefer -”

“ Dinner sounds wonderful ,” she assures, and there’s a moment of silence that hangs in the air between them before he asks, tentatively.

“How’s Friday?”

“ Friday, ” she pauses for a beat, and there’s the rustling of paper, perhaps a calendar, “ Friday’s perfect; does seven work ?”

“Seven sounds great,” he agrees, and she gives him the address of the hotel she’s staying at. The moment after he hangs up, he’s excited, and the moment after that, he’s nervous. He hasn’t really dated anyone since he and Chrissie had split up over a year ago. He’d thrown himself into his music and parenting his children, and making sure the divorce was amicable for the childrens’ sake. He wasn’t a nun by any means, he’d let Freddie take him to nightclubs a few more times than he’d like to admit to, had relieved his Fat Bottomed Girls days during the last tour once or twice, but dating had never been his intention.

So why - why - had he agreed to this?

Because he trusted Gizelle.

The next day, Thursday, he’s a ball of nerves when he walks into rehearsals, and Roger’s wearing a grin that’s all teeth.

“Don’t -” He heads Roger off before the blonde can even open his mouth. Roger’s smile widens. That’s the problem with having known each other for over fifteen years at this point, is that Roger can tell exactly what he’s feeling with just one glance; Roger of all people, should not be granted that privilege, Brain finds himself ruminating.

“You alright, dear?” Freddie asks, interest piqued, early for once, and Brian huffs a sigh.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine -”

“He’s got a date with ‘Zelle’s friend,” Roger crows, and Brian shoots him a filthy look.

“Good on you,” Freddie nods emphatically, walking over and clapping Brian on the shoulder, “she’s got wonderful taste in friends,” and both Roger and John behind him hum in agreement. Brain actually rolls his eyes at them.

“I’m sure she’s lovely, but that’s the problem, I’m… I’m just -” and he gestures to himself awkwardly, making an unflattering face.

“You’re a strapping young lad,” Freddie insists, and while Brian appreciates it, it’s not exactly what he meant.

“She’s going to love you,” the sincerity in Roger’s voice comes as a surprise, and when Brian turns to where he’s sitting on the drum risers, he sees Roger with one foot tucked up on his stool, expression warm and kind, “‘Zelle speaks very highly of Patience, and from what she’s said, you’re going to love her, and as long as you’re, you know, yourself or whatever, I’m sure she’ll love you too.” And he cleared his throat, averting his gaze and breaking the moment of honesty, but Brian was thankful for the pep talk. After a beat, letting the moment settle, Brain sighed deeply.

“Thanks, man,” he said with a half-smile, and Roger grinned back in acknowledgement, “but I don’t even know where to take her to dinner; I haven’t been on a real bloody date since -” and Chrissie’s name catches on his tongue but they all know, and don’t comment about it.

“I think ‘Zelle said she’s vegetarian,” Roger muses, and after a beat, he suggests a restaurant Brian’s only heard of by reputation, right in the middle of the city, telling him that even Gizelle recommended it. That night, he calls, books a private room at the fancy little restaurant, and heaves a nervous sigh the moment he hangs up.

The band has Friday off, so instead he lays about in bed until it’s almost eleven, spends a good few hours pottering around, occasionally gardening, reading a few articles his assistant had sent over a few days ago, and spends the better part of half an hour trying to pick an outfit.

Why had he chosen dinner ? There was no right answer to dressing for dinner! Lunch could be nice slacks and a button down, but dinner meant possibly a jacket, but what if he’s too overdressed? What if he doesn’t wear a jacket but he needs one to get into the restaurant, then he’ll look like a fool, what if --

When he picks Patience up, he’s wearing a well fitted suit that he’d had tailored for an event not too long ago. It’s dark blue and crisp, but he’s forgone a tie, leaving the top few buttons undone, he is a rock and roller, after all. He parks, steps into the hotel lobby, and tells the man at the front desk that he’s here for Patience, and they ring her, quietly letting her know that - and he gets a wide-eyed look from the bellhop, whose voice goes a little uncertain - Brian May is waiting for her.

Patience steps out of the elevator in a midnight blue dress, barely a few shades darker than Brian’s suit, and he’s pretty sure it’s fate. The moment she sees him, she’s smiling, and it’s blinding, all teeth and shining eyes and genuine excitement at seeing him, and Brian’s smiling too as she makes her way towards him, but all thoughts have left his head. She’s stunning in person; willowy and statuesque, the heels on her shoes make her the same height as him, which Brian finds he rather likes as she greets him with a hug and a kiss on either cheek.

“I wasn’t going for speechless,” she says with a soft laugh, and something connects in his brain very suddenly - she’s American , “but I think it’s a rather large compliment coming from you,” and finally Brian’s brain connects with his mouth.

“You look stunning,” and Patience’s answering smile was surprisingly abashed.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she tugged the lapel of his jacket for emphasis, a playful smile on her lips, and gestured for him to lead the way out. As he turns, Patience tucks her arm into his, and leans in for a moment, “we match.” And she sounds so pleased .

“Must be destiny,” Brian hears himself say back, and Patience hums thoughtfully.

“Must be,” she agrees with a smile.

Patience wears her emotions on her sleeve, Brian’s quick to pick up on; she’s direct but never unfairly blunt, and smiles like she’s never known hardship. She’s like sunshine , an interesting counterpoint to Gizelle, who seemed to take months to warm up to the band enough to even smile at them. When Brian asks about her connection to Gizelle, Patience’s smile turns fond.

“I’m very grateful to call her my friend,” she muses, “she’s a lot kinder in person than I was expecting.” And Brian nods with the faintest smile, knowing exactly what she means, but already seeing how this bright and joyful woman was able to so easily win Gizelle over.

They have dinner in the private room of the restaurant, both ordering the garlic and herb grilled eggplant, and when Brian tells a joke, Patience laughs so hard she snorts. It’s adorable .

As the dinner’s winding down, and Brian’s wracking his brains for ways to keep this night going, Patience turns a little nervous herself, fiddling with her napkin, avoiding his gaze.

“I fear I’ve double-booked myself tonight,” she admits, and Brian’s heart sinks at her words, “I have a friend at the Museum of Natural History, and he’d pulled some strings for me to let me in tonight after they’d closed,” she explains, and Brian’s eyebrows raise in surprise, “I mean,” Patience deliberates, looking up at him through her lashes, “unless you’d like to accompany me?” And she sounds hopeful. He’s pretty sure he’s never met anyone so earnest, it’s kind of refreshing.

“I’d- I’d love to,” Brian’s so quick to agree it’s like the words fall from him before is brain even registers what he’s saying; he’d been so worried that she’d just want to leave after dinner, just call it a night, despite how much she’d seemed to be enjoying herself, but here she was, lighting up, explaining how the museum wasn’t far away, easily within walking distance and -

Oh , he finds himself thinking with a gentle smile, she might be perfect .

When they exit the restaurant, however, there’s a blinding flash of light, and then their names being called, someone desperate for their attention. Patience freezes, smile turning still as she grabs Brian’s hand and power walks to the theatre. He realises too late that it’s the paparazzi, and when he turns to tell them to leave them alone, Patience, voice low and insistent, tells him to just leave it.

They make it to the museum in a matter of minutes, hand in hand, and the man who greets them at the gates smiles at them both with a warmth in his eyes, and offers them both a solid handshake.

“So good to see you again, Hall,” he tells Patience, and quickly introduces himself to Brian as Lawrence, and turns on his heel and leads them through the gates, into the museum.

“How do you know each other?” Brian asks, trying to make casual conversation, still holding Patience’s hand.

“He was my tutor in college,” Patience explains easily, and the man nodded in agreement, before adding.

“She’s terribly bright,” Lawrence adds, “in her final year, she helped me with my thesis for my Masters, which, speaking of -” he looks over his shoulder with an inquisitive look, and Patience rolls her eyes.

“I’m getting there, you know I’ve been going through some shit, my Masters is the least of my worries,” she waived him off, and Lawrence made a disapproving tut, but didn’t press her on it.

“Terribly bright,” Lawrence reiterates, “not much of an entomologist, but a fantastic help nonetheless.” At this, Brian turns his amused expression upon Patience, eyebrows raised in question.

“I studied biology,” she explains, though her voice is quiet, as if she’s a little embarrassed by that fact, “I mean, I am studying- am still studying- I’m a biologist?” Though it sounds like a question.

“ Fascinating ,” and he means it with his whole heart when he says it, though she seems to be surprised at his enthusiasm, “I never would have picked that.”

“Most people don’t,” Patience muses with a surprisingly rueful tone, looking around at the museum ground as they approached the front doors. Lawrence graciously let them inside, acting as though he wasn’t listening to their every word.

“I haven’t worked much on my thesis lately,” Brian mentions casually, “have been rather busy over the last few years, it can be so hard to find the time.”

“Masters?” Patience asks, in the exact same carefully casual tone that Brian was using.

“Doctorate,” Brian tells her with an air of humble pride, “astrophysics.” There’s a moment of silence, and when he looks at her, she’s regarding him with a newfound respect.

“Never would have picked that,” she grins a little, parroting his own words back at him. Brian shrugs easily, and gives her hand a squeeze.

“Most people don’t.”

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Daybreak Academy: Chapter 88

Uncle Eraqus

Summary: In which Anora and Brain have an off campus Thanksgiving feast with the latter’s uncle. Word Count: 1,686 First | Previous | Next ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

It was right in the middle of history class when Anora got a text from Brain.

'Are u doing anything tonight? Wanna meet me by the gates for a Thanksgiving feast off campus? I know a real quiet place by the lighthouse. Wear your jogging pants- I'm not going to let you leave until you gain three pounds.'

Anora only wished that she could have seen her face after reading it. The young woman looked up at her teacher before carefully typing her response. Thank goodness that the keyboard on her slider phone was a quiet one. Too bad that she was generally a pretty slow typist.

'what if i'm not hungry?'

After sending the text off, Anora set her phone in her lap and tried to write some notes down. Brain must have been in the middle of class too- his text came back to her roughly ten minutes after.

'Ur nothing but skin and bones, madam. If I don't stuff you up, my uncle will.'

Anora almost had to force herself from questioning why Brain had an uncle. But, still. If this was going to be a Thanksgiving feast, would more of Brian's family be coming along? A small spike of fear hit Anora's head when she asked him just as much.

'Don't worry pretty girl. It'll just be you, me, and uncle E. Like I said, the buffet is a quiet place even on its worse days. It's got separate rooms like a karaoke bar. It's pretty cool.'

'i don't do karaoke'

'It's not an -actual- karaoke bar. Just trust me. Or don't. You don't have to come if you don't want to. I'm kinda just throwing it at you anyway.'

Anora lightly nibbled at her lip as she thought it over. It wouldn't hurt her to get off campus for a bit. She wasn't really expected to join in on anyone else's Thanksgiving dinner. Brain had also appealed to her social avoidance side too- there would be a lot more people in the cafeteria tonight. Some family members joining their kids on a free meal provided by the school. She knew for a fact that Mog's family would be coming- and that included both parents, a brother, a handful of cousins, and a persnickety aunt or two for good measure.

Come to think of it, she probably wouldn't have had dinner at the cafeteria tonight anyway. Still making sure that the history teacher wasn't going to notice her texting, Anora carefully typed her reply back to Brain.

'do i have to wear a dress?'

The bell that signaled for class end went off before Anora got a reply. She didn't even look at her phone until she got to the next class.

'Of course not. Wear what you've got. E's not picky and I literally just mentioned jogging pants. I'll wait until 6:30 for you at the gates.'

After reading through the message, Anora gave a little nod to herself and tried to focus on the rest of class. If there was one difference between Ephemer and Brain, it was that Anora didn't particularly feel like she needed to impress the latter. Hypocritical as it sounded- considering she was the one that told Ephemer he didn't need to impress her to keep her love for him. Most of her dresses were better suited for the summer anyway.

But she should still dress, nicer, though. Meeting with your significant other's (rebound or not) family was a big deal. She didn't want to give Brain's uncle the wrong first impression. Not that she'd be able to talk enough to form a good impression to begin with…

After classes were over, Anora went up to her dorm and started to go through her winter coats. The one she usually wore, a very warm double down jacket, was a bit ratted from years of use. She had to dig real deep in her stored away clothes for the fancy things. The young woman let out a happy noise of discovery when she found her maroon colored peacoat. It would match well with what she was already wearing; a long sleeved, light brown colored tunic shirt and dark washed jeans. It was respectable, but not too dressy.

She didn't waste any time in meeting Brain at the front gates. He was casually leaning on the brick archway before noticing her. When he did, he stood up and adjusted his hat a bit.

“So all your girl clothes are hiding in winter wear.” Brain mused as he looked her over. “Sounds like the opposite of every other girl I know, but it sounds about right for you.”

Anora suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. “Is it bad?”

Brain shook his head. He took a step or two closer to so he could take her hand and gently kiss her knuckles. “Not at all.” he gently purred. “You're just more unique.”

The blush on Anora's face came quickly and without restraint. Brain chuckled a bit at her before calling up a taxi. As the taxi headed on down to the lighthouse located outside of town, Brain tried to make a bit of light conversation with Anora.

“I'm not trying to scare you, but you should know what kind of guy my uncle is.”

Anora turned to him and raised an interested, but wary, eyebrow at him. Brain laughed at it for a moment before going on to explain himself.

“He's the principal at one of the main Departure County public schools. The same one that Ven came from.”

“Oh.” came the rather small answer. A snort escaped Brain's lips in return.

“Don't worry,” he assured her, gently taking her hand to rub her thumb over it, “I'm just teasing. He'll love you.”

Still giving Brain a wary glance, Anora carefully nodded her head and said nothing further. The drive to the lighthouse was spent in a still silence. When they were close enough, Anora could see a man that, at a distance, looked a lot like Brain. As Brain helped Anora out of the taxi, she continued to study the man. She must have stared for two long because he looked right at them. But he didn't call them out. Instead, Brain politely guided Anora by the elbow to the man and even tipped his fedora at him.

“Long time no see Uncle Eraqus!” he happily greeted the old man.

The man gave a nod of his own. “It's been a long time since we've met...”

“Brain.” Brain finished for his uncle.

“Brain...” Eraqus repeated with unease. “So it's official now?”

“Yep.” the young man boasted, grinning at his uncle with a cheeky certainty. “Well, no. A lot of the school paperwork still say I'm 'Blaine', but as far as anyone else knows, I'm the one and only Brain Renzhen.”

“Certainly is a unique name.” his uncle warily agreed. With this out of the way, Eraqus turned his attention to Anora.

“I don't believe we've met before.” Eraqus politely said to Anora. “My name is Eraqus, young lady. I am the brother of Brain's mother.”

Anora shrunk a bit, but offered him a smile and nod of acknowledgment.

“She's not much of a talker.” Brain laughed. “It takes a bit of getting used to for this little bird to sing.”

“Well, if that's the case,” Eraqus offered, “The let's go secure a private room for just us three. I'm sure it would be a lot better to the more socially anxious.”

Anora gave him a small smile in thanks, and with that the three of them entered the buffet. It was a rather cozy place, with amber lighting and the smell of freshly baked bread faintly hinted in the air. The individual rooms were separated with a sliding divider. Anora still sat a bit closer to Brain as the relatives started to talk to each other. The two seemed to have a rather amicable relationship. But the hardest part Anora had to wrap her head around was that Brain hardly referred to his uncle as uncle. Instead he called Eraqus by his first name only. It took time for her to realize that he was doing the same for his aunts as well. From what she could gather, he had two; one older than Eraqus, and one younger than both Eraqus and Brain's mother.

“Do you have any plans for winter break?” Eraqus asked Brain at some point.

“Not really.” the young man mused as he reached for his water glass. “I know Mom wants me to come home. But that means Beli and Chika are going to be there too with their small armies.” Brain took a sip of water before adding, “Thanks for not adding to the gaggle of cousins, by the way.”

Eraqus gave a rather bemused chuckle. “Not yet, anyway.” he teased. “There's one young man that I've been keeping my eye on. He's not much older than you two, but he could benefit from a more kinder household.”

“Are you going to take him to Christmas or New Year's dinner with you?”

“I might.” Eraqus agreed with a sigh. He then turned to Anora and said, “What about you, Anora? Do you have any plans for the break?”

Anora jumped a little, surprised to be a part of the conversation, before carefully shaking her head.

“Daybreak is one of the better campuses to be on during breaks.” Eraqus told her with a nod. “It's a shame that it can't provide housing for its recently graduated students. Assuming that a Tenth Year didn't buy an apartment in town already. Has the food quality improved any since we last had an all state school conference? Urd still swears she got food poisoning from the meatloaf they served.”

“Doesn't Miss Urd get sick off of anything that wasn't served on a gold plate?” Brain lightly snickered. Eraqus gave a small snort of amusement.

As Brain and Eraqus then went into a conversation that slightly mocked whoever this Urd lady was, Anora found herself lost in her own thoughts. What was she going to do for winter break?

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Tiger King 

“I think it would be fair to say that Carole is the Mother Teresa of cats” now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear

“I’d never been a person who had friends” statements like this always perplex me because surely there had to be ONE other person in however long you quantify childhood that you identified with. Like not one whole ass person? You’re not the only person who loves cats Carole

The juxtaposition between Carole Baskin’s “Animal Print for Animal Rights” and Joe Exotic’s “Tiger King underwear is our bestseller” is poetic cinema

Okay this isn’t a reflection of my opinions on this man but I Saw a Tiger is a good country ballad there I said it 

“When I first met Joe, I was like a month out of high school” well that’s not good

[Joe Exotic voice] Some people have tigers to cope

Doc Antle has only been on screen for 30 seconds and already he has made himself memorable by directing the film crew

Is Bhagavan Antle Indian in some way or did he just have a really intense Eat Pray Love journey with his guru

Also is he really a doctor orrrrrrrrr

“I am out there in the forefront so known of being this guy that is in love with big cats and has them love him back” please don’t tell me this guy does anything weird to his animals

“People only care about saving what affects them” 

“You can’t put a price on holding a baby tiger” but you did and apparently it’s $625 

The fact that multiple tigers have had albinism is probably a sign of major inbreeding practices at these zoos

You know, even if I ate meat*, there is no way I would be able to handle any kind of early prep stage of it bc seeing these cow carcasses is A Lot

*If u r reading this I don’t care if u eat meat leave me alone

“Animals just wasn’t enough, okay? So then I started adding magic” well that took an unexpected turn

I don’t know if it’s for real fair to criticize every person who has brought a big cat out in a public venue/talk show because I know at least like Dave Sal/moni is always going “THESE ANIMALS MAKE TERRIBLE PETS” 

As a sidenote from what I understand this Saff person keeps being deadnamed/misgendered throughout this documentary and I do not appreciate it 

“I grew up a professional cowboy in a family of professional cowboys” every sentence on this show is a journey

WHO is letting their ONE-YEAR-OLD lay on top of a tiger cub I know you’re at a zoo but BRUH

“It’s going to be a small Waco” to say this ON THE NEWS

This 2 minute stretch of episode is all the PSA anyone ever needs to never own a gun

Well I think we can all agree that PETA is a fucking mess

God this is like battle of the people who are terrible at doing anything good for animals

“What do you carry that gun for?” “People” AHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!!!!?!?

“I sleep with an AK-47 under my mattress, loaded, ready to roll” WILL SOMEONE HELP THE U.S. OF A

I was warned about this show and yet I was still not prepared for the level of UNHINGED it would be 

How in the FUCK does a place like this not have an on-site medic

“Why don’t you come back on another day” he said, after telling the public an employee had his arm taken off 

“I am never gonna financially recover from this” SURE JOE THIS IS ABOUT YOU

To go back to work a WEEK after getting your arm amputated... BRUH

“Any law that you think’s unfair or unjustice, it is your obligation, it is your responsibility to stand up against that bullshit law” well Thomas Jefferson was a slaveowner so clearly the injustice thing was relative for him

Traditionally don’t drug addictions fuel people choosing extreme paths with their life rather than the other way around? 

JKHGKJHGKJH this whole exchange:

Interviewer: What kind of doctor is he?

Maria: Mystical science.

Interviewer: Mystical science?

Maria, nodding: Yeah.

“How many wives does Doc Antle have?” I didn’t expect this but somehow it tracks

I’m gonna bet none of these people with subcontinental names have a single bit of South Asian heritage like okay “Moksha” and “Rajnee” did Bhagavan name you

On a more serious note: It’s really fucked up that these men keep meeting literal teenagers, making them their employees, and then also get into relationships with them. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough THIS IS NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY

It’s pretty weird that Doc Antle keeps emphasizing so frequently that one of his partners is Italian 

“I’m gonna go be a yoga animal trainer” ah, white people bullshit

“Goodbye. Don’t fall in love with your boss.” Good advice, Dad

I was not expecting all this subcontinental imagery to get under my skin this badly but what’s your problem dude can’t u be normal for like a second 

“You’re this garbage person, but if you listen to me, I’ll make you great” again this tracks but gross

Again, on a more serious note: if a partner ever talks to you this way please call a domestic abuse hotline 

Not that India is at all in a good place right now but I personally ban Doc Antle from ever entering India. Banned. Forever. I will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time

“I didn’t really know any better” is a really good way of summarizing what all of these younger partners have been through

Wow Carole is really explaining this abuse issue succinctly 

Antle’s indignation at being implied to be a cult leader despite the fact he is most definitely a cult leader

Joe’s story in his documentary is constantly “is this going to be a humanizing moment PSYCH it’s still terrible”

HOW IS THIS LEGAL PAY YOUR WORKERS A LIVING WAGE

Why is this husband-killing thing JUST A FOOTNOTE AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE OH MY GOD

We have deviated so far from the tiger thing oh my god

Why is the only man in this documentary who is faithful to his spouse the man that smuggled drugs inside of snakes

Every time I learn a new thing about a person in this documentary I have to reorient myself

This whole episode has been about this murder and I’m concerned that its title, “The Secret,” hasn’t even been revealed yet

GOD I take back what I said about I Saw Tiger, the concept of this song/music video for Here Kitty Kitty is so disturbing that this man deserves no credit whatsoever as a musician 

CAROLE WHY ARE YOU GIGGLING ABOUT THE MEAT GRINDER IT’S NOT FUNNY

Well I don’t have much to say about this episode other than yikes

I guess if you’re really out to spite someone stealing their brand and posting exactly the opposite of everything they stand for is an effective if weird and petty way to do it

Do you think the whole throne footage moment was a “Frankenstein realizing what he has wrought” kind of thing for Kirkham

This is really like watching a sports game of two teams you can’t stand except the sport is murder and other miscellaneous crime

If we’re all being real with ourselves the documentary filmmakers themselves MUST have had some issues going on to be able to walk into this situation and not do anything about it

This series really seems to present a compelling case for why every major figure in this documentary has potentially committed at least one terrible crime

Ah there’s the judgment from the woman in Florida I guess it’s two crimes with one stone

God these poor animals they do not deserve anything happening to them

While obviously people are enticed by the prospect of someone they’re into having an animal JUST GET AN ALREADY DOMESTICATED ANIMAL LIKE DOMESTICATED CATS AND DOGS EXIST OH MY GOD DO NOT USE EXOTIC PETS AS DATE BAIT

 It has been so long since we heard about Travis ngl I already forgot about him 

Why is every single person in this show SO OFF THE WALLS I mean I know why but also WHY

This documentary is also a treatise in the flaws of the U.S. prison system and how it sets up people up to fail or re-offend upon release

Take a shot every time a middle-aged man in this show mentions that he casually bought himself a big cat as a teen

“Joe was the entertainment director.... by title” I don’t think this was meant to be a burn but what a burn

I am almost certain I WATCHED that Last Week Tonight episode during that election and if u told me that 4-5 years later I would be rewatching that clip in a documentary about this man’s journey to being convicted for murder then I cannot say I wouldn’t be surprised but I would probably believe it 

Also I have to wonder what John Oliver thinks about being part of this 

[“Beyonce?” voice] Shaun Majumder?

Sidenote: Until this exact moment I thought of Shaun Majumder as Ben Mulroney even though Brian Mulroney is white as hell I guess I have faceblindness but only for Canadian talkshow personalities

I have been aware of this before now but the fact you can buy a GUN at a Walmart what in the FUCK is U.S.A. doing

Man does this campaign manager really want to take ownership of anything Joe Exotic has ever done

Ngl I was wondering why someone who had at one point clearly had a lot of money seemed to have such poor dental care access but meth certainly does explain it

I mean people can be attracted to both men and women (hello) but since Joe was fuelling their drug addictions since they were teenagers attraction is at best a null factor and at worst an added layer of terrible to this whole mess

It’s hard to even respond to this in a meaningful way because this is so fucked up. Don’t own guns.

“That was a big fucking mistake,” he said, right after someone explained that he was driving large groups of people in an enclosed space in a busy city with wild animals that could maim or kill them

Padlock penls piercing really does not seem like a first date bombshell

“We went to dinner and he never went home” well if that doesn’t set you with a sense of foreboding

TWO MONTHS AFTER WHAT IN THE HELL OH MY GOD also I hope Dillon is okay

“It wasn’t about the animals anymore” you THINK

“It was sort of funny when they started but it’s gotten really dark” how meta

Of all the reasons Joe could’ve abandoned his zoo, I really didn’t think embezzlement would be what pushed him

“He won’t tell anyone where he’s at, not even me,” said Dial, with no acknowledgement of the fact that Joe is also theoretically still married and would maybe tell his husband???

Oh Dillon spotted??? Yikes get out dude

Take a shot every time a white person who really doesn’t understand where the word “karma” comes from starts talking about karma as if it is the Law of Revenge

The fact this man brings a film crew out with him while he’s on the run evading a federal investigation..... incomprehensible

“Joe just wanted to put it in somebody’s name and continue to be the tiger queen, I mean king,” really REALLY of all the reasons to object to Joe you’re going to choose homophobia wow

Is this about an attempt to have someone murdered or does something happen to Baskin it is very unclear

This documentary has an interesting format of switching focus from crime to crime to crime 

“I’ve never been as proud of being married to anyone as I am being married to you” It’s weird to compliment your husband by comparing him to all your other husbands

How is the lesson for Jeff Lowe in this “let’s build another zoo” surely at that point it’s better to just cut your losses

[Garretson voice]: You should pay me for being a bro, dude

“I’m a libertarian, so technically, fuck the Feds,” I’ve never heard an intonation that better suits a conservative millennial 

I mean I don’t think it was advisable but honestly why are people surprised Joe took the stand isn’t delusions of grandeur kind of his thing

Sometimes it’s just that they’ve added in other moments to break up the awful immoral crimes with just run of the mill douchebaggery like the nanny/gym thing huh

I guess the silver lining in this is that potentially these big cat zoos will shut down but like where do these animals who have been raised in captivity go??? I don’t trust anyone in this documentary to not exploit them in some way ugh 

“Not a single animal benefited from this war,” correct, Saff

“I was wrapped up in having a zoo,” not really an excuse but ok

[nocturnegyser]

The Start of Clean Trash

Warren x Raccoon(reader)

A/N: I wanted to expand this little world a bit and make a story about the band Raccoon started, it’s also kind of a prequel to, “The Feels”, so plz enjoy but if it sucked plz be mean. (I can also take requests if u want...)

———

(y/n) has been at Xaviers for over a month, and has been doing relatively fine for the most part. Considering this is the first time she’s lived apart from her older brother.

(Y/N) also played guitar and always dreamt of starting a rock band, she could shred like Brian May and had the voice of Haley William, she was the perfect punk rocker.

She and Warren would occasionally would rock out together but never really perform in front of anyone, plus Warren was busy with X-Men training and (y/n) with classes.

That’s when (y/n) decided to start a band.

———

One day after classes, after getting permission to start a band from Charles, (y/n) was making posters for her band.

The poster read, “Wanna join a band? Join me! (y/n) anytime at the music room after 3:45pm to 6:45pm!”

(y/n) was hopeful about the turnout, expecting at least a few people to show up.

After putting up the last poster on the message board outside, “You think anyone’s gonna show up?” Warren asked.

“I’m hoping so, there’s gotta be at least one other individual here not too busy to join a band,” (y/n) responded

“Yea, sorry I couldn’t join..”

“Nah you’re fine, when responsiblites call, you answer.... at least I think that’s how that saying goes,” (y/n) snickered

Both headed inside for the time being.

Not too long after, a relatively new boy walked up looking at the poster

“....New band huh?.. that could be interesting.”

———

The next day (y/n) was waiting at the music room for what felt like hours, even though it had only been 29 minutes.

“Ugh!! Man.. I thought at least SOMEONE would have been interested. Oh well... I guess all that convincing was for not.” (y/n) said to herself discouraged

Almost at the same time as she began to lose hope, a tall boy came walking in the music room with a maroon instrument case.

The first thing (y/n) noticed was his big rat ears and tail, and secondly, his eyepatch.

“Uh... I was wondering if you were still holding auditions for the band?” the intriguing character asked

“Uh... yeah sure, of course. What do you play exactly?” (y/n) asked astonished that anyone came at all

“I play the bass,” the boy responded

“Oh wow! Exactly what I looking for,” (y/n) responded, both smiling a bit, “Tell me a bit about yourself, Mr.....”

“Palneski, Mars Palenski, I started coming here about 3 months ago.”

“Oh that’s perfect, I’ve barry been here myself, a month and a half now to be exact.”

“I’m an Aries, I began playing bass when my sisters boyfriend taught me...”

“Aww”

“Yeah, he ended up going to jail on running an underground poker ring.”

“Oh...”

“Yeah.. he was pretty cool, he made me this eyepatch”

Accidentally mishearing him, “He put you in that eyepatch??!!?”

“No no no! You misheard me, I said he made me this cool eyepatch, my dads the one who put me in it,” Mars then flipped his eyepatch up revealing a red bloodshot eye

(y/n) was a bit horrified but even more intrigued

“What happened there?... if you don’t mind me asking..” (y/n) asked

“Meh, pops went off the deep end one night on me and my mom, she had clipped her ears and tail before she met my dad, imagine their surprise when a freak like me popped out,” Mars revealed

“Well you’re not the freak in this situation,” she reassured him

“But other than that, I’d like to join your band if that’s cool”

“Yea yea of course, you’re the only person to show up so far so... show what you can do”

“With pleasure,” Mars replied, then plugging his bass that was pastel pink with purple paint splatters

Mars took a deep breath and began playing the baseline from Vulfpecks Sky Mall

(y/n) immediately knew what he was playing and was impressed he was pulling it off

Like every musician, there were things he needed improvement and missed a few notes but (y/n) hardly noticed or didn’t care

After his more than adequate performance, (y/n) stood up clapping with sparkles in her eyes

“You’re in! Welcome to..... I don’t have a band name,” (y/n) giggled

“Awesome! when are practices?” Mars responded

“Well that’s the thing, you’re the only one to really show up to this, we don’t have a drummer yet,” (y/n) responded.

“But if you want, you can help hold auditions for a drummer if you”

“Meh, not like I’m doing much, I don’t see why not,” Mars replied while packing up his bass

With that, (y/n)’s band finally has a start.. somewhat

———

The next few days proved to be fruitless.

No one showed up or wanted to join (y/n)’s or Mars’s band

“Man... you’d think with a prestigious enough music programs you’d think there’d be at least one other kid wanting to wail on drums,” Mars sighed

“Yeah... well I almost started this with another drummer but he’s got training,” (y/n) signed in response

“You know a drummer? who?” Mars asked

“His name is Warren, big metal wings, thuggish looking”

“Oh I saw him around, didn’t think you two hung out”

“Yeah, our schedules don’t always link up unfortunately,” (y/n) then staring off in thought about hanging out with Warren more

Mars noticed this and decided to speak up, “You like him?”

This caught (y/n) way off guard, “W-what??! what makes you say that??”

(y/n) now blushing

“I can tell by the way you stare off when talking about him,” Mars teased

“Well... it’s not that I LIKE like him, I just think he’s... cool, ok?”

“Yeah, cool. Got it,” Mars then looking forward himself a little surprised he was able to get that out of her

———

Finally, after almsot 2 weeks of waiting around, (y/n) finally had someone audition for drums

(y/n) and Mars were overly excited, (y/n) more than Mars

(y/n) immediately began interrogating the individual trying for the drums but they didn’t seem all that interested

“So tell us a bit about yourself,” (y/n) began, Mars was just sitting back in his seat with a semi interested look

“I guess I started drums in middle school band,” they replied

“Awesome, you ever play in a rock band before? Not that that’s a requirement, neither of us have either, we’re just curious,” (y/n) asked

“No, I don’t play to rock, mostly classical or school songs,” the already disinterested drummer responded

“Oh, well uh, we’re a rock band so.. I dunno if that’s-“ (y/n) began explaining before Mars cut her off

“Listen, we’re not looking for anything in particular, but I can tell you don’t wanna try out for this band, do you?” Mars immediately taking over

“Not really, I haven’t drummed in a while and honestly, wanted to drop it forever ago but my parents wanted me to try out..”

“So... you don’t want to join?” (y/n) asked a little sad

“No, sorry”

“That’s ok, let us know if you change your mind,” (y/n) letting them know before they walked out

“UGH!” (y/n) then slamming her head on the table

“We didn’t even get to hear how they sounded!”

“I’d imagine maybe not very good if they haven’t played since middle school..” Mars added

———

Immediately the next day, Warren was waiting in the music room for Mars and (y/n) with an audition ready, but not from him, his apprentice.

(y/n) stood there trying to take in what she was looking at

Warren Worthington III, one the the schools most intimidating residents/students and former horseman of the apocalypse... with a 5th grader drummer apprentice

Warren immediately began explaining what was happening, “Ryan here, decided he wanted to give your band a try, (y/n).”

(y/n) still standing there dumbfounded, sat down and began asking Ryan the usual

“So... tell us a bit about yourself, Ryan”

Ryan, very timidly began, “Well... I’ve only been going here 2 months and... and...”

Taking a deep breath, finall let out what he wanted to say, “I would like to join your band!”

Ryan now blushing

(y/n) finally grasping what was happening, understood what was going through Ryan’s head

“Ok, go ahead and play us something if you’d like,” (y/n) then motions towards the drums

This is the moment Ryan had been waiting for, the moment he spent hours training under Warren

Ryan began with a slow tempo Single Stroke Roll which transitioned into a picked up tempo Rebound Stroke

Warren had been watching from the door while (y/n) and Mars sat there in awe at what Ryan was able to do

after finishing, Ryan sweating and breathing harder than ever

(y/n) and Mars both immediately began clapping and both at the same time in unison said, “You’re in!”

Ryan having aspired to join a band of his own, finally happening, he bang crying and ran off the strage to go hug Warren to thank him for everything

(y/n) seeing this interaction made her heart flutter a bit

Seeing how good he is with kids, she began having thoughts

I wonder how he’d be with his own child, what kind of father would he be?

Immediately realizing what she’s thinking she began blushing

Ryan then decided to introduce himself to Mars and he took a liking to Ryan immediately and took him on as an apprentice as well

(y/n) walked up to Warren, both blushing a bit

“Thanks for giving Ryan a chance, (y/n).” Warren thanking (y/n)

“Ah, well, I was more than likely gonna let him join anyways, no one else was showing up, well one other person did but they weren’t interested”

Both giggled to themselves

I’ve never seen Warren giggle to easily (y/n) thought to herself

“Well.. I suppose we should get our newest addition situated and uh...”

“Oh, yeah for sure.. I guess I’ll just...”

“Yeah.. I’ll see you around I guess”

Both still blushing as Warren exited

———

Both Mars and (y/n) having gotten to know Ryan, (y/n) decided they should come up with a band name

“It should be something that represents all of us,” (y/n) stated

“How about... overnight heartbreak?” Mars suggested

“I never got my heart broken before... not by a girl at least,” Ryan responded

“The harmonies of The Gifted?” (y/n) already not liking her own name idea

“.....Well.. Ryan can manipulate water... you and me are trash animals..” Mars pointed out

“Trash animals??” (y/n) raising a question

“Yea, rats and raccoons are primarily found in trash cans”

“I’ve only been found a dumpster ONCE, and that was to find my tamagotchi I accidentally threw away,” (y/n) retaliated

“I’ve been found in multiple dumpsters, multiple times,” Mars said almsot bragging

Both forgetting Ryan was right there

“Uh well... I like cleaning so.. I’ve never been in a dumpster...” Ryan chimed in

“Cleaning huh...” Mars commented

“Clean... dumpsters.... trash animals..... cleaning trash animals....” Mars was saying random thought out loud to spark an idea for the other

“Clean.....”

“Trash....”

“Clean...”

“Trash”

“Clean”

“Trash”

“Clean Trash!!”

Both Mars and Ryan going back and forth before in unison coming up with a name

(y/n) immediately loved it and the trio had finally decided on their name

“This is gonna be fun,” (y/n) said fist bumping both Ryan and Mars

———

[loove-persevering]

Request! (Shawn Mendes Imagine)

Request: can you make a imagine that Y/N got asked by her friend (that also is one of shawn’s friend doesn’t matter who) to go to a club and have a great time and when shawn sees her he is shocked by how good she looks so he want to get to know her and you can chose the ending but please do it fluffy! also love u!!

OMG HI I LOVE YOU THANKS FOR THE REQUEST! 

Outfit I pictured! 

Readers POV

  I really didn’t want to go out tonight, but Jaime was forcing me. When I say forcing me I mean she came to my house and literally threw a bucket of water on me claiming I had spent way too much time moping about my breakup. It wasn’t a bad one, not the ones you see in movies where people are screaming and one cheats or does something else unthinkable. The breakup was still just as painful, it was simply two people who had just grown apart. Life had gotten in the way and suddenly you both fell out of love, it hurt like hell but it was better than tip toeing around each other scared to confess. 

 I really did need to go out and get a life and have some fun, ‘’Bitch!’’ I hear Jaime scream in my ear, ‘’Get ready!’’ She yells again and I laugh taking the palm of my hand pushing her face away from my ear. 

 ‘’Why am I friends with you?’’ You question yourself allowing her to hear as well. 

 She smiles opening the bag she had brought with her, you were curious to see what was inside when she walked in but being dripping wet got you a little distracted. She pulls out a bag a stunning two piece black set. It was leather and had circles cut out which were laced with silver metal, this was the perfect outfit for you to wear out embracing your newly single lifestyle. ‘’You can wear it,’’ she says smiling in satisfaction with herself. 

 ‘’Really?’’ I say eagerly, being friends with Jaime had it’s perks. She was a stylist for the hottest celebs right now, she had countless gorgeous outfits in her closet that you could only dream of having. You were a full time college student going to university and trying to maintain a steady job, Jaime was the one person who had always been there for you. 

 ‘’I invited a few people to come out with us tonight that cool?’’ She asks and you nod at her taking another glance back at the outfit. ‘’Okay cool, they’re just gonna meet us there,’’ She says. ‘’Go shower you stink,’’ She says, I pick up the pillow throwing it hitting her perfectly in the face, I laughing and lean over having to clutch my stomach.

 ‘’I really don’t regret pouring that water on you now, I felt bad at first but nope not anymore,’’ She says her face trying to stay serious. You get out of bed looking forward to your night out. 

 Shawn’s POV 

 ‘’Yeah Jaime,’’ I say pausing hearing her mouth still going, man she could talk. ‘’Okay, yes we will meet you there!’’ I say to her. ‘’No I will not bring him!’’ I say. ‘’Goodbye Jaime,’’ I say hanging up on her. I can hear her threatening my life before I hang up but it was too late now. Jaime was obsessed with Brian and always wanted for me to bring him out with us. 

  Jaime was one of the stylist I had really grown to love in the industry she really pushed me out of my comfort zones when it came to looks on the carpet. She had finally convinced me to come out with her after days of begging me and spamming my phone with text.

 We head to the club around ten or so, they let us in immediately probably knowing who I was. I didn’t mind getting special treatment when it came to clubs but sometimes I wished that I could go without getting swarmed with people coming up to me. When we arrive inside I look around for Jaime seeing if she had already got us a spot for the night in VIP. I glance around a few seconds and then I catch sight of her bright red hair, something nobody could really miss in a crowd. 

  ‘’Jaime!’’ I say to her grabbing her attention to my surprise, she had to have super sonic hearing for me to have grabbed her attention over the blaring music. I see her turn around like she was talking to someone and then she turns around back to me making her way over.

‘‘Hey,’‘ She greets me her eyes already on Brian, ‘‘Hi Brian!’‘ She says her voice noticeably more perky. 

‘’Hey Jaime,’’ He sighs, I laugh watching their interaction it was obvious they both had a thing for each other but Brian had always tried to play it off subtly while Jaime had her feelings completely out in the open at all times.

 They break into a conversation and I take it as my chance to glance around at the club. I look around seeing some people staring at me trying to hide their phones as they took my photo. I look over to the dance floor and immediately my gaze finds it’s way to a girl dancing in the middle of the floor. She didn't seem to be talking to anybody or even near anyone she seemed to be in her own world swaying her hip to the music. She was beautiful I watched as her Y/H/C laid on her shoulders as she ran her hair through it some of the strands sticking to her face and neck. 

  ‘’Shawn?’’ I hear someone say before hitting my chest, I clutch the spot they just hit and look to see Jaime smiling, ‘’Come on, I already have a spot in VIP,’’ She says shaking her head still smirking at me. 

 I look back hoping to catch another glance of the mystery girl, but she was gone. I try not to let my face show my disappointment, I didn’t even know her. 

  We head over to the roped off section as I thank the man who lifted the velvet rope for us to get in, he nods his head giving me a nod. We keep walking about to take our seat when i hear a soft voice from behind us, ‘’Wait! I’m with them!’’ I hear and I turn around, it was the girl from the dance floor. 

 I look at her confused as she tries to talk to the guard and then she points at me, Do I know her? No, I would’ve remembered a face like hers.

‘‘Y/N!’‘ I hear Jaime yell and then she moves past me knocking her shoulder with mine, ‘‘Let her in!’‘ She gestures to the the man. 

‘’Told you,’‘ She says smirking at him. She walks up to Jaime and talks to her before peering over her shoulder making eye contact with me. She looked at me wide eyes, and I watch as the neon lights reflect onto her body. The outfit she wore looked amazing on her, it complimented her body well. 

 I watch her as she walks over, Jaime leading them both over, ‘’This is Y/N,’’ She says introducing us, finally giving a name to the enigmatic woman. 

 ‘’Hey, I’m-’’ I start off but she interrupts me. 

 ‘’Shawn, I know.’’ She says and I see her face slightly falter, ‘’Sorry that was rude.’’ She says laughing, her laugh was so cute it was like a little kid. 

 I finally take my gaze off her realizing I had been staring at her for so long. I look up and Jaime is giving me a look of mischief, damn she knew this would happen. She smirks at me before Y/N turns around looking at her and her face immediately switches back to looking clueless and playing innocent. ‘’Is everything okay?’’ She asks glancing from Jaime back to me. 

 I beam a smile at her, letting her know that everything was fine at least on my part. Y/N whistles breaking the awkward silence and I laugh watching as she carefully walks past me careful not to brush into me. She walks over taking a seat on the couch, and Jaime follows sitting next to her. Brian sits down next to her and I sit down next to him, I try and not look at Y/N but she wasn’t exactly a person you could look at and not want to get to know. 

 She had this curious look to her, like she was constantly in wonder of everyone around her. I look over the features of her face, seeing a small scar near her hairline, I wonder where she got that. She catches me staring at her as her eyes meet mine, her face looks slightly confused and I quickly break my gaze away from hers not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. I try and look at her still, and I can see she was patting her hair down tucking it behind her ear. I hope I hadn’t made her feel insecure. 

  The rest of the night went by pretty quickly, I didn’t get to talk to Y/N much more other than when we said our goodbyes at the end of the night. ‘’It was nice meeting you!’’ She says looking at Brian and then me. 

 ‘’You too!’’ I say almost to eagerly. I wanted to ask for her number but that felt weird since I had barely talked to her all night. I stick my hands in my pocket looking down at my shoes, when I looked back up I saw Jaime and Y/N walking down the street the opposite way. 

 I hoped that I would see Y/N again, if luck was on my side. Which I really hope it was. 

Part 2? Let me know what you think!

[borhapstyles]

Headcanon: First Date with Ben

HEY so it’s my spring break and i’m back temporarily :) i hate saying temporarily but i know that once school starts again i’m never gonna have time to breathe lol but i’d like to think school is temporary, writing for you guys once summer hits will be the real thing <3 

this wasn’t requested but as a starter, i’ve written this headcanon :) sorry if it’s shit, haven’t written in a while so i’m a little rusty. i hope you like the ending though, i certainly do. 

**this is going off the “Meeting Ben” headcanon I wrote a while back xx

“so uhm…”

“yes?” you giggled, brows raised as Ben swallowed harshly

“i-i was wonderin’ if you’d like to go on a date with me.. sometime..?”

“is this not a date?” 

then Ben’s cheeks went red, even more so than they were before

because like

he had been waiting for the right time to ask you on a date since he followed you into that cafe

how was he supposed to know he was gonna spend the next two hours talking to you in that back table

but you looked so lovely underneath the fairy lights of the cafe

and he adored the rose tint on your cheeks whenever you subtly dropped in your love for Queen

that’s another thing, he loved your taste in music

i mean, it’s a given that you liked Queen because of Bo Rhap

but when he learned of all the other bands / artists you loved, he kinda sorta just wanted to kiss you right there

he should’ve

anyways

“n-no, i mean, like a proper date, not that this can’t be considered one, but-”

“i’m joking, i’d love to” you cut him off, more laughs spilling from your mouth

and then you and Ben set a date, a time, and after he insisted on picking you up, you finally let him

the day of, he showed up with your favorite flowers which uh

u didn’t tell him what ur favorite flowers were

he uh.. kinda found out through instagram stalking

he didn’t specifically stalk you

but Joe did

Ben mentioned you to Joe and Joe was quick to find your account

(let’s pretend it’s on public if it’s not)

“oh she’s on public, this is gonna be fun” Joe said to Ben while they were hanging out the next night

“she is?!” Ben jumped over and

for a moment he wanted Joe to like.. stop because he kinda felt weird doing it

but i mean

he also was super super curious to see your posts and kinda also wanted to see more of ur face

so he went along with it

“she might even be funnier than I am” Joe said when he went over one of your captions

“I couldn’t stop laughing when I was with her, she’s hilarious” Ben gushed

“oh wait, what’s that one?” Ben made Joe stop scrolling to click on one of ur pics

it was of u and your friend’s dog

with the caption “don’t tell (your friend’s name) but i’m stealing her dog forever sorry”

“she likes dogs” Ben whispered to himself, a smile on his face as he imagined you with Frankie 

that’s when Joe stopped and looked at his friend

“you’ve known her for a total of 30 hours and yet i’ve never seen anyone do this to you.. you really like her, don’t you?”

Ben sighed, he didn’t want to let himself get so deep so quickly but

there was something about all this that just felt so easy, like it’s come into place

and something about you that made him feel as if he’s known you his whole life even if you had never been to england before meeting him

so Ben just smiled and nodded, hoping he wouldn’t get his heart broken with all the risk he’s taking

and they continued scrolling till Ben got a text from … 

surprise surprise, you 

and completely forgot Joe was there for a moment 

“oh by the way, just so you know, her favorite flowers are…” Joe told him before leaving

“how do you know?”

“her instagram, which, if your elderly ass would bother to learn a little more about, is a great app”

so anyways when Ben showed up with your favorite flowers u were happy and he was happy that u were happy

but also lol because you were staying in an airbnb and didnt rlly know where to put the flowers down

aaaannnywaaaays 

then you two drove out into beautiful London 

the night life was buzzing with Londoners and tourists alike and you couldn’t be happier to be in such a city

much less next to Ben, who if a week ago someone told you you’d be with him 

u might punch them for playing with your feelings

but here you are

“you see that building? that’s Abbey Road studios”

“so much history here, I think I’m in love”

when Ben finally stopped driving

you two were in front of a rather tall building somewhere in the financial district

Ben rushed to your side to open the car door

“can i ask where we are now?” you laughed and Ben chuckled as he finally told you

and he made sure to open the door for you on your way in

im convinced chivalry is still alive and comes in the form of ben hardy 

and u two rode the elevator aaallll the way up 

then you two went through a couple other doors

and then eventually you were met by a host who checked you guys in

then you were led outside

let’s say it summer by the way so you guys arent freezing when u go out

it’s a rooftop area, with outdoor furniture and plants decorating the area

fairy lights strung around the pergola, soft gentle music in the background

there’s a few other couples having dinner but it’s peaceful and everyone’s rather into each other so you know no one’s eyes will be wandering

but your favorite part of the whole thing

was that you could see the entire london skyline from your position, with a table in the perfect spot so no one was blocking the view

“what d’ya think? i-is it too much?” Ben asked shyly as you hadn’t said anything 

but you were in love with the place, your heart filled with joy

“it might be too early to say that this is the best date i’ve ever been on but i will, if that gives you any idea for how i’m feeling” 

as the dinner progressed, any nerves you felt coming in vanished

as did Ben’s

it felt natural, comfortable, meant to be

and when Ben reached over to hold your hand across the table

part of you never wanted him to let go, even if it made it a little harder to eat

in any case, he himself never quite wanted to let go either

with you, he wasn’t Ben Hardy, actor. he was just Ben

and he felt like he could be anyone he wanted to be around you

he loved that even if you were a fan, you never made him feel like he needed to take on the actor-persona he had 

in fact part of you forgot he was even an actor when you asked him if he had met anyone famous 

which made Ben laugh and your cheeks go red 

but Ben slipped up too lmao

“so I heard you like dogs?”

“...yes but...from.. who..”

then his cheeks got red as he had to carefully explain how him and Joe didnt stalk you on instagram but stalked you on instagram basically 

celebrities, they’re just like us

that’s when you laughed

which made Ben realise he could hear you laugh all day and never get tired of it

and never get tired of your smile

something about your twinkling eyes when you spoke about your friends and family back home

and about all your passions, ridiculous and not so ridiculous

u may or may not have let him in on your love for Queen, even more so than in the cafe

and u kinda forgot he was in Bo Rhap for a hot minute

but he was amused, he loved seeing you speak about something so close to your heart

and felt proud to be part of it

all in all Ben felt a feeling he hadn’t experienced in quite a long time, if ever in his life

a feeling of completion, of relief

as if he had been waiting his whole life to meet you

and so he continued listening to your rant about how much you love Freddie and JIm together

watching as you blushed and apologised profusely for going on about them

“don’t be sorry, i wished we could’ve had more of them in the film as well. and i love hearing your opinions on them, i love hearing you talk about it all. it makes me more and more fortunate to have been part of it”

“well i have much more to say about anything Queen related if you’re interested”

“then i’m always here to listen for when you do wanna speak about them” 

when dinner finished, you and Ben decided to postpone driving you back 

you two walked around the city more and eventually made it to a little park just up the road

your hand in his, humming ‘39 by your favorite band

Ben smiled to himself as he realised you felt the same comfort around him as he did with you

and so the months went on, date after date with Ben

till you found yourselves on your one year anniversary, walking around the same park you two had gone through on your first date

“do you remember when we first came here?” he asked

“of course, it’s when I realised I love loved you and was basically fucked”

“why’d you say you’re fucked?” he laughed

“i mean, i was like, oh god i’ve scared him by talking about my obsession with Queen and he actually knows them and he’ll tell them and Brian and Roger will think i’m crazy and he won’t ever date me again after this and all i can do now is hum ‘39 and hope he won’t block me on instagram after this” 

Ben cackled

“that’s not at all what i was thinking, i hope you know that”

“well obviously” you rolled your eyes

“d’ya wanna know what i was thinking?” 

“hm”

“I was actually thinking of Freddie while we were walking around”

“same”

“no, i’m serious” Ben chuckled 

“why were you thinking of Freddie then?” you giggled, squeezing his hand a little tighter

“well, if I was just going in my head about how if it wasn’t for him there would’ve have been Queen, wouldn’t have been a Bo Rhap, I never would’ve been in anything like it, and I might not have met you then because of it”

“i don’t like thinking about that” you muttered, leaning your head into his side

“really though, it’s mad how much he’s influenced all our lives in a good way” he stopped walking, you standing below him with curious eyes batting at him 

“i guess we have Freddie to thank then for bringing us together” you said before pecking his lips

and then you two stood there for a moment, your head pressed against his chest as you listened to his heartbeat

that’s when Ben looked down at you in his arms, then up into the starlit sky and whispered; 

“thank you, Freddie” 

[gayandtransboy123]

Rufus and Luke ch.1 The premier

Note: I DO NOT SHIP THESE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. I just had this idea and had to get it out of my head. it’s just for fun. You can also find this story on Archieve of Our Own, my username is Brandon_p. 

Luke Deacon was out of place. He didn't know anyone there except for Brian, Roger, and Freddie of course. He also had met Joe Mazzello a few times but he didn't really know him. Luke had felt out of place his entire life, at school and in the real world. Being too weird, or people not understanding his jokes.

The one person he did know was Delilah Mercury (Freddie Mercury and Jim Hutton's daughter) and she isn't here yet, running late. So the only thing left to do was find a place to sit and wait. He was at the after-party at the premiere of Bohemian Rhapsody, the Queen biopic. It was loud and there was a lot of lights, everything Luke hated. So he pulled out his phone.

The Gay brother (Cameron Deacon)

Luke: Cam

Luke: Cam

Luke: CAMMMMM

Cameron: what

Luke:I’m bored

Cameron: How's the premier?

Luke: BORRIINNGGG

Cameron: How can it be boring??

Luke: I don't know anyone

Cameron: where’s delilah?

Luke: She’s late

Luke: Wait she’s texting me, hold on

Girl who’s named after a cat (Delilah Mercury)

Delilah: I’m coming

Luke: HURRRYYYY

Delilah: okay chill bro

Luke: no chill, never chill, i’m never chilly

Delilah: I’m outside

Luke: YAY

Luke started walking outside to see Delilah, but first, he had to get through the crowd. He was almost there when he bumped into Luke started walking outside to see Delilah, but first, he had to get through the crowd. He was almost there when he bumped into someone. “Sorry” He had long blond hair, and big blue eyes, probably one of the Taylor kids but he was too focused on getting to Delilah that he ignored him.

“Get yo ass over here” Luke yelled as he saw Delilah’s car pull up.

“Sup long legs,” Delilah said before pulling Luke into a hug. She was wearing a long floral dress and her long brown hair was pulled into a braid.

“Why you leave me” Luke complained like a child as Delilah pulled him inside.

“I left something at home” and that was all the explanation she gave him.

“Can we ditch the party?”.

“No, my dad wants us to be here and you need to make new friends” and they entered the building.

“Okay Mom” and they started walking through the crowd.

“RUFUS” Delilah practically yelled, almost bursting Luke’s eardrums.

“DELI,” The guy, named Rufus said and pulled Delilah into a hug.

“Oh, I forgot to introduce you two,” Delilah said pointing to Luke and Rufus.” Luke this is Rufus Taylor” Luke recognized the man, it was the same pretty boy who bumped into him. “Rufus this is Luke Deacon”.

“We know each other,” both boys said in unison and they both let out a little giggle.

“Really how?” Delilah asked.

“He punched me,” Luke said innocently.

“I did not,” rufes said.

“Rufus why did you do that to your brother” aka mother Delilah.

“Get him, mom,” Luke said and Rufus laughed, Usually people would just stare at Luke funny if he made a joke like that but he seemed to get it.

“Is there a bar?” Delilah asked.

“Can you even drink?” Luke asked and received a punch in the shoulder.

“I’m 22, I’m not that short” and they all made their way over to the bar.

“I’m gonna go find my dad but Luke orders me a beer” and she hurried off, leaving Luke and Rufus. Luke made a mental note to punch her cause she knew he was bad with meeting new people.

“I’ll have a sprite” Luke ordered.

“I’ll have whiskey” Rufus ordered. Luke made a note of that ့ Likes Whiskey.

“Whiskey, wow” Luke commented.

“Being a good boy and ordering a soda I see”.

“Keep it pure for Jesus” Rufus shot him a million dollar smile. Luke pulled open twitter. Writing “This bitch ordered whiskey while I’m over here drinking my apple juice” and pressed tweet.

“What are you doing?” and he looked over at Luke’s phone.

“Tweeting about you,” He said smiling at his phone.

“Let me see” and Luke handed over his phone and went into laughing.”Your twitter is weird” he commented as he gave Luke back his phone.

“I just write what I think, I think a lot of weird things” and he nodded his head.

“Your honest, I like that” Holy shit was Rufus fucking Taylor flirting with him.

“You wanna bitch this place?” he asked.

“Yep,” He said instantly without thought and downed his whiskey. They didn't even think of Delilah, who was probably gonna be pissed tomorrow. They were close to the exit but Rufus ran into his sister.

“Where are you going?” asked Tiger Lily Taylor as she almost blocked the exit.

“Ditching” Rufus replied, trying to get around her.

“I’m telling dad” she sounded like she was 5.

“I’ll pay you 20$”.

“Fine, also who’s your friend” and she pointed straight at Luke.

“Luke Deacon this is my” and he wrapped his arms around Lily “My lovely sister Tiger Lily” and Luke gave a little wave before they left.

As they left Luke snapped a quick pic of the back of Rufus's head, which was now free of the tight bun he had before. He posted it on his Instagram story and captioned it “Blondie Bitch”.

“Where you wanna go?” Rufus asked as they headed towards his car.

“I Don’t know” Luke replied as they approached a car that was probably worth more than his life.

“Wanna get pizza?” he suggested.

“I could eat” and they drove to just a casual pizza place down the road. They were dressed up but they didn't really care.

“Pineapple on pizza?” going straight in with the good questions.

“Hell yeah,” and they got one large pizza and ate in the restaurant.

“This is the best pizza I’ve ever had” Rufus was the kind of person to make a pizza taco, Luke noted that.

“Same here, and I eat a lot of pizza”. It doesn't seem real, going to a movie premiere and then hanging out with your uncle's attractive son. Eating pizza with Rufus Taylor. “I want avocado's” Luke blurted out.

“I love avocados” They looked at each other like they had just found their soul mates.

“I almost chopped my finger off while chopping one” him and Rufus both laughed. “Wouldn’t have been good seeing I play the guitar”.

“You're a musician?” Rufus asked, Luke never mentioned it.

“Yeah, I majored in drama in college but I play guitar and bass” and he grabbed another piece of pizza.

“I play drums, I play with Queen and my other band” Rufus replied.

“I do some solo music but I’m part of a band, I play and also sing”.

“Can I hear something?” and Luke pulled up his band's music (young limbs) on SoundCloud while they shared a pair of earbuds. Rufus was swaying back and forth while he listened. “You have a calming voice, it’s relaxing”.

“You like it?” he was surprised.

“Yah, I love it, it has a nice vibe” he sounded like such a hippie.

“What band do you play in?” Luke asked.

“It's called The Darkness, I play drums, I can’t sing” and they both chuckled.

They stayed in that pizza parlor for about 2 hours talking about anything and everything. It didn’t feel like two hours for Luke or Rufus. They finally snapped out of it when the parlor was closing. It was at 1 AM.

“Crap, it’s late I have to go,” Luke said, getting up

“Me too,” Luke said and was silent for a second “Can I have your phone?” he asked and Luke handed it over. “This is my number, call or text me okay” Luke nodded.

“Bye Rufus” Luke said leaving.

“Bye Luke,” he said with a smile as he left too and saw Luke step into a cab before he could even offer a ride home.  

Luke woke up to about 20 different text messages, mostly from Delilah and Cameron.

The Gay brother (Cameron Deacon)

Cameron: LUKE DEACON

Cameron: RESPOND

Luke: Good Morning to you too

Cameron: why u no respond

Luke: I had an interesting night  ;)

Cameron: WAS IT WITH THE BLOND BITCH

Cameron: I WANT ANSWERS

Cameron: WHO WAS IT

Luke: Rufus Taylor

Cameron: WHAT HAPPENED

Luke: Delilah introduced us and we got to talking

Cameron: DID YOU USE PROTECTION

Luke: I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM

Luke: anyway, we ditched the part and hung out in a pizza parlor all night

Cameron: how romantic ;)

Luke: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PERV

Cameron: my little boi making friends at kindergarten

Luke: shut up

Luke: Did dad call? I was supposed to call him but i forgot

Cameron: Yep, also he wants you over for breakfast

Luke: Okay, thanks dude

Girl who’s named after a cat (Delilah Mercury)

Delilah: YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU DITCHED ME x(

Delilah:ANSWER HOE

Luke: Hi

Delilah: DON'T HI ME HOE

Luke: sorry

Delilah: DID YOU RUN OFF WITH RUFUS

Luke: maybe ;)

Delilah: ANSWERS. BITCH

Luke: we got pizza and talked all night

Delilah: FUCK THAT’S CUTE

Luke: SHUT IT

Delilah: I SHIP IT

Luke: STOP

Delilah: Okay i’ll stop

Luke: Thank you :)

Delilah: are you gonna tx him?

Luke: Yah

Delilah: DO IT. DO IT.

Luke: I’m gonna do it

Delilah: GO GET HIM TIGER

Luke: SHUT UP

Blondie Bitch (Rufus Taylor)

Luke: Hey

Rufus: Hey

Luke: Delilah is pissed at us

Rufus: Yah, she sent me 20 text in all caps

Luke: all caps, that when you know it’s serious

Rufus: IKR

Rufus: Anyway, my band is having a show on sunday, do you wanna go?

Rufus: Delilah will be their

Luke: I’ll get back to you and see if i have anything on that day

Rufus: Okay, it will be good to see you there

Luke: and see you all sweaty

Rufus: playing drums is exhausting OKAY

Luke: We’ll see :)

Girl who’s named after a cat (Delilah Mercury)

Delilah: GET THAT DICK HOE

Luke: FUCK OFF

Luke buried his face in his pillow, he flirted with Rufus Taylor . FUCK. Then he remembered his dad and breakfast and quickly got up.

He wore his favorite comfy sweatshirt and jeans and headed off to his mother and father's house that was a little bit down the road. “Lukey” His mother greeted him with a smile, she was always a great mother.

“Hi, mommy” and he gave his mother a big bear hug and went into the house he grew up in. Same couch he threw up on when he got food poisoning and same carpet when he spilled noodles all over himself. Good times. “Hi Dad” he saw his father reading the paper at the dining table and gave him a hug.

“Morning Luke,” His father said giving him a big hug, he was a really good hugger. His father seemed to be in a good mood. Luke took his seat next to his father where breakfast was already set out in front of him.

“Dad I’m sorry I forgot to call you last night, I was so tired when I got home, I completely forgot”. His dad just nodded and gave a smile.

“It's fine Luke, did you have a good time?” his father asked.

“Yah, I saw uncle Brian, Roger, and Freddie, they said to say hi and that they miss you and you should give them a call”. His father said nothing to that. Freddie was still alive but John still retired in the ’90s and hasn't been in contact with any of them in a while. “I also met Joe, the guy who’s playing you, he’s really nice and looks a lot like you” and Luke took a sip of his tea.

“Meet anyone else?” he asked setting down his paper.

“I mostly hang out with Delilah (Lie) and Rufus (truth)” and his father's ears perked up when he mentioned Rufus.

“Rufus Taylor?” he asked and moved a little closer to Luke.

“Yah” he replied taking a bite of his eggs and his dad let out a little chuckle.

“The Taylor children are crazy, I wouldn’t hang around them if I were you” what the fuck was that supposed to mean? Luke didn't say anything. They talked for the next hour about anything, life and weird things that happened at bingo. Luke enjoyed spending time with his father, he came over every Sunday for dinner and his dad came over to his place often. He had a very close relationship with his father. Luke didn't know why his father had something against the Taylor children.

Luke left when he had band practice and gave his father a big hug before he left. Band practice was going well, they were writing music for the album they wanted to release next year. When they went for lunch Luke pulled out his phone.

Blondie Bitch (Rufus Taylor)

Luke: I don't have anything on Sunday

Luke: I can make it

Rufus: YAY, Delilah and me will pick you up around 7

Luke: Can’t wait

Rufus: Me neither :)

Holy shit this Taylor child was going to be the death of him.

Hope you liked this chapter. If you guys like it i’ll keep posting here on tumblr but I will be updating on Archieve of Our Own. Thank you for reading :) 

-Brandon

[iwillgiveyoumyhappiness]

Who are your biases from each group , what made you like them and who’s the closest to your ideal type ?

You ask the hard questions, Anon! Now, I have a rule with myself not to have any true biases because I love everyone equally, but in an alternate universe where I did have biases... This is who they’d be. (´・ω・`)

WARNING NOTE: This does not include all the groups that I’m a fan of, because then the list would be very, very long. I included the ones I could list directly off the top of my head without thinking too hard about it, so don’t be offended if your favorite group isn’t on here. Also, I won’t be counting NCT U, because their line-up changes every comeback. With that being said, enjoy!

BTS

Bias: Min Yoongi (Suga)

Reason for biasing:

I see a lot of myself in Yoongi, so I find it easy to connect with him. We have similar ways of thinking and reacting to situations, and I feel like I understand him well. That gives me hope that he’d understand me, too.

Member closet to ideal type:

Hobi. I like someone that knows how to be gentleman but will also make me laugh endlessly. If our hope/sunshine won’t do that, who will?! Seriously, when I look at him, I smile so incredibly bright- it’s insane. I think it’s important to share similar senses of humor and even though Jungkook and Jin share my overall sense of humor, I think Hobi would give me opportunities to find out new ways to make jokes that fit his style. And/or, he might adopt my style! 

ONEUS

Bias: Lee Keonhee 

Reason for biasing:

This is gonna sound weird, but I’m seriously such a sucker for lisps... As I said! It sounds weird! But, yeah... There ya go. I’m also someone who’s really sensitive to tone in other people, so when I hear someone with a particular type of voice, I’m drawn to it. Keonhee has that type of voice for me. It’s very smooth, higher-pitched and honey-like, so it draws me in. It carries over into his singing voice, and I think that makes him ten times more “bias material” for me. No matter what he’s doing, I can feel at ease hearing his voice.  

Member closet to ideal type:

Son Dongju (Xion). We have really similar personality traits and I think we’d get on well. We both have cold appearances and fist impressions, but once you get to know us, we’ve got fluffy hearts and fun-loving natures! I think we’d get each other in a spiritual way that was just like, “Oh, hello there”, you know? Like instant wonder and curiosity. Plus! I’ve got long eyelashes too, boi. You know that we’d be having contests to see who could stack the most toothpicks on them.  

ONEWE

Bias: Son Dongmyeong

Reason for biasing:

He’s my child, okay? I watched him on The Unit and Produce 101 and I appreciated his hardworking attitude, chirpy voice and steadfast talent. I look at him and I don’t want to date him, I just want to protect him. I want to give him a kiss on the forehead when he’s feeling down, I want to feed him plate-fulls of confidence and pride, I want to tell him he’s doing well and I want to be a friend to him. I want to share my smile with him, like he’s shared his. It’s funny, though. He’s my bias in ONEWE, and his twin’s my ideal type in ONEUS.  

Member closest to ideal type:

Lee Giwook (Cya). I appreciate a man who can sing AND rap, okay? I think it’s really attractive to have that contrast. I feel like he has that vibe of someone that sings really loudly in the car and let’s just say... I can get behind that. I can get behind that BIG TIME. I need someone who will belt in the car with me, whether it sounds terrible or beautiful, and I think Giwook would fit the bill. 

The Rose

Bias: Kim Woosung (Sammy)

Reason for biasing:

Once again, it’s mainly a tone thing. He sounds like he’s shattering, and I want to protect and encourage that. I feel the urge to show him that his voice isn’t just a voice; it’s an emotional time-capsule. He has a really upbeat but down-to-earth attitude and I feel like he cherishes the right things in life. I also think it’s really sweet how much he loves cats, even though he’s allergic. He also knows how to take a joke, which is very important, ‘cause I tease a lot. If you’re wondering why I phrased it like this...

Member closest to ideal type:

Kim Woosung (Sammy)....now you know. My bias and ideal type are the same.

DAY6

Bias: Jae Park (Jae)

Reason for biasing: 

We have a really similar sense of humor, you feel me? Very memey and sarcastic. I think he drew my attention because he has so many layers. On the surface, he seems a little rude, in a way, but as you get to know him more, he says things. Certain things that make you realize, “He feels more than he’s letting on. He has fears and reservations, and he’s not 100% okay all the time”. I think that Jae has a lot of hidden insecurities that he hides behind a wall of humor (which sometimes goes too far, and can be hurtful), but I understand why he does it, and I see it in myself, so I can’t hate him for it. If I did, I’d hate a part of myself. That’s how I see Jae. A part of my own soul. 

Member closest to ideal type:

I don’t really think I would be compatible with anyone from DAY6. I’d butt heads with Brian (Young K) and Jae, because all three of us are very opinionated. I’d intimidate Dowoon and Wonpil (because they’re soft boys and deserve gentle affection) and Sungjin and I would kind of just be mutual bros. Like- that kind of relationship where you keep meeting someone on accident and you’re like, “Eyyy! I know you! Wanna get some bubble tea?”; that kind of feeling. So, I don’t think I’d mesh romantically with any of them, really, but closest bet is either Jae or Dowoon. Not because I would crush on them, particularly, but because they would crush on me. Jae because my physical appearance is similar to his ideal type, and Dowoon because I’m closer to his age and mama-bear-protective, so I think he’d appreciate someone having his back when he gets teased or pranked.  

AB6IX

Bias: Lee Daehwi

Reason for biasing:

I have mad respect for this dude, okay? He’s basically revolutionized one of the most basic rules for k-pop groups—just after recently debuting! He tossed aside the stigma that idols shouldn’t date by outright telling his fans, “I will dedicate 5 years to my craft, but then I would appreciate it if you gave me your blessing to date.” So, not only did he phrase it in an eloquent and respectful way (I did paraphrase, by the way), but he was also firm in his plans and intentions. He wants to get married. He has to, because he’s an only child and he has to keep his family line going. He also told people (in a respectful way) not to call him Wanna One’s Daehwi anymore. He’s AB6IX’s Daehwi now, and he’d like people to support that. That takes bravery and kindness.  

Member closest to my ideal type:

..is this a surprise to anyone? It’s Daehwi. I think we have similar views (especially as far as the dating stigma goes) and opinions, so we’d be able to agree on a lot. And even if we didn’t, I think we’d be able to have debates in a fun, understanding and safe way. It wouldn’t lead to consternation, is what I mean. I also think we have similar humor and we’d be able to play off of each other well. Like, he’s a fashion king. I’m not a fashion queen. Maybe he’d tease me about that, but I could tease him right back. Maybe he gets scared of something and I’m perfectly chill. I can laugh my ass off at him and I don’t think he’d be upset with me. I think we’d have a very easy relationship that didn’t involve a lot of angst.  

ASTRO

Bias: Park Jinwoo (JinJin)

Reason for biasing:

He steals my heart every time I look at him. He has a really sweet smile that just melts me (and he reminds me of a mouse) and his unique tone and rapping style really gets me into a groove. Also, he’s an amazing dancer, but I feel like he doesn’t look like someone who’d be good at dancing! Take a look at Rocky, for example. He kind of has this elegant vibe about him, but Jinwoo’s almost a little clumsy. Yet, when he dances, he exudes this level of grace and power that’s almost overwhelming. Plus! SHORT BROS UNITE! 

Member closest to ideal type:

Once again, uniting with a short bro, Kim Myungjun (MJ)! He’s a Smile Engine/Happy Virus, so I know he’d be able to hype me up when I wasn’t feeling very excited. I tend to do that a lot. If I’m not completely confident or sure about something, I power down. I distance myself in a way that seems like I don’t care about things, and I think he’d give me a type of energy that would make me into a better person. Another reason; he talks a lot, I listen a lot. BUT! When it’s my turn to get a word in? Oh-ho-ho, you better grab the popcorn, ‘cause you’re gonna be there a long time! I think we’d be able to be very talkative together and we wouldn’t be annoyed by each other. Plus, he’s really dorky and mischievous, and I find that attractive. ALSO- WE HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY, SO IT’S FATE. 

Stray Kids

Bias: Lee Felix

Reason for biasing:

I catch myself feeling like a proud parent whenever I look at him. I want to hype him up for all of his skills, ESPECIALLY his singing! Like, believe me, I love his deep-ass rapping, but when he hits me with that slightly wavering tone and honey vocals? I melt entirely. I’m reduced to mush in a second flat. I want to give him a lot of confidence in the things he’s not so confident in and I just want to be a shoulder to lean on. Also, I think he’s the biggest idiot, but in the cutest way. (No, Felix. Batman’s sidekick is not “Robin Hood”.) Not to mention, freckle buddies!! Yeah, that’s right, your girl’s covered in ‘em. Also, I’m a sucker for Aussie accents, so oops there.  

Member closest to ideal type:

Han Jisung (Han). There’s not a particularly huge reason for this, I just think we’d compliment each other well. He has a style that I like very much, and he gives me a whirlwind of different emotions every time I look at him. I think I understand his humor better than others, so when he makes a joke and no one laughs, I’m over in the corner having an aneurysm. I like to think that means he’d get my humor, too. I think he knows when to be soft and when to be... *tiny text* hot, so that keeps things interesting; I enjoy a spontaneous man. In summary, I think we’d balance each other out well. I’m chill, he’s a little nuts (squirrel pun not intended) and I think we’d just... Meld. 

NCT DREAM

Bias: Huang Renjun

Reason for biasing:

Renjun is basically my twin, but slightly more superstitious. He’s like my brother from another mother and I enjoy that because it makes me feel like, “Wow! If he’s like me and he’s that cool, maybe I can be that cool, too!” I like Renjun for very childish reasons. 

Member closest to ideal type:

Park Jisung. I feel like I’d genuinely intimidate and terrify him when we first met, but I’m pretty sure we’d make a quick bond after that. I have a lot of guy-friends with similar personalities as him, and it started out the same way. Them = terrified. Me = confused. A few weeks past, us = buddies. So! I think it would be similar with Jisung, but also amplified to the point of dating. Not because we’ve very similar, but because we’re very opposite. I think we’d influence each other in positive ways. Also, hand-holding is my favorite skin-ship, and he has beautiful hands. Admit it.  

NCT 127

Bias: Mark Lee

Reason for biasing:

It doesn’t take a genius to know how incredibly soft I am for this boy. From everything to his awkward laughs, his inability to make conversation with the opposite gender, his “um”s and “like”s, his sudden bursts of loudness and his caring attitude, he makes me so soft on the inside. He reminds me of the kids I babysit, in a way. In fact, when he does something whoa (you know what I mean), I’m almost scandalized and I feel like he’s growing up too fast. I love how he is passionate in a gentle way and how he chooses to push through the things that scare him in order to secure a better future for himself and his teammates. It’s very admirable. 

Member closest to ideal type:

Johnny Suh. At first, Johnny may seem like he’d be a little annoying, but once you really look at him, you can easily tell that he’s loud and mischief-maker, but he also knows when to turn that part of himself off. He’s very prudent in that way. He feels like the type of guy that would smile at me from across the rooms and give me random piggyback rides, and I just... I want that, you know? I want that, and I feel like he could provide well. Plus! We have similar ways of showing affection (insert: headlocks) and similar sense of humor (insert: “What the flute!”).

WayV

Bias: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul (I will never not laugh at that name, so please, let’s call him Ten)

Reason for biasing:

We have similar senses of humor, so I find him really funny, and his dancing never ceases to amaze and bewitch me. The fact that he knows so many languages makes me jealous in a good way. I know two languages (English and Korean), and the fact that he knows so many gives me a lot of drive and determination to try harder, learn more and do better. Overall, he’s a really good motivator for me. He makes me want to dance better, sing better, speak better, etc. That’s a good thing to have in a bias, I think.  

Member closest to ideal type:

Liu YangYang. Anyone who’s favorite word is “mellifluous” is a big, fat YES in my book! We actually have pretty similar personalities, too. Quiet when you first meet; loud, playful and talkative when you’ve known us for a while. Also, massive connection with his German-ness ‘cause... Ya girl is from German heritage. Makes me want to re-learn German, just because I feel like (on the off-chance I meet him one day) I’d really want to impress him. I learned it years ago, but I forgot it all, except how to say “it’s nice to meet you” and “it’s nice to meet you, too”. Can’t even introduce myself! Pathetic really, but oh well. Also, he says his eyesight’s really good... I need that. I’m practically blind without my glasses, so YangYang! Be my seeing-eye-dog! And the fact that he likes to be called “Xiao Yang” (little sheep) is also pretty coincidental, because that’s what my name means.

Seventeen

Bias: Xu Minghao (The8) 

Reason for biasing:

He’s the modern gentleman. He takes care of himself, he takes care of others, he’s hardworking. Tell me, what’s not to love? He has a great sense of balance in his livelihood, and I feel like he’s someone you learn something new from every time you see him. It’s never the same thing; like he’s forever evolving and... infinite. He’s infinite. Plus! That cute giggle, though... You cannot tell me you don’t smile every time you hear it. And if you do tell me that, you’re soulless. 

Member closest to ideal type: 

A part of me wants to say Lee Chan (Dino) because I think our personalities are overall the most compatible, but even if I was really into that, I don’t think I’m what he needs. We’re more bro material. I think—in the end—Boo Seungkwan and I are the most compatible. I think we would always be singing loudly together (which I adore), I would be able to calm him down and let him know it’s okay to be insecure, he would hype me up and help me get over my insecurities. I think we both need a “low-effort” (for lack of a better term) relationship. One that feels like you’re truly friends with each other and being yourself is enough. You don’t have to go out of your way to impress, and I think that’s really important. With Chan, I would feel myself being pushed to be... More, I suppose. But with Seungkwan, I feel like we’d both have the sense of equality. Like, “Neither of us is better than the other, but we both have different skills we can use to help and better each other”; that kind of feeling.  

ATEEZ

Bias: Kim Hongjoong

Reason for biasing:

He has this energy about him that just makes me beam every time I see or hear him. It’s like, I know he’s imperfect, as all people are, but because he handles his imperfects so well, so freely, it’s like they don’t exist at all. He’s made himself perfect with all his imperfections, because he knows how to work through and around them. His energy is addictive and I will never not feel warmth in my chest when I look at him. He’s like a first love. Faultless in my eyes, no matter how flawed. 

Member closest to ideal type: Choi San

We mesh, okay? We just do. I don’t know what it is, but it’s like we share one brain-cell. I’ll do or say something before he does and then he does it and I’m like, “wAIT A SECOND- HOLD UP”. Seriously, we’ve got some soulmate-like crap goin’ on here. Also, I feel like he’s someone who appreciates the stars. I appreciate them a lot. Plus! I collect plushies, too... I share that with you very hesitantly.  

Shinee

Bias: Lee Taemin

Reason for biasing:

As a person who’s not very big into the whole sexy/sensual vibe, I bet you would think his music wouldn’t really be my style, right? Wrong. His music is very, very much my style. He takes something (sexuality), which can be pretty gross and off-putting to some people, and he turns it into something elegant and beautiful. He doesn’t make it seem like tongue and sweat and need; he makes it seem like passion, love and care. Mutual respect, even. He doesn’t make you feel preyed upon, he makes you feel desired, which is an amazing feeling. Plus, I’ll never get over the stark contrast between his one-stage image and his true personality. To be honest, he’s a bit of an air-headed dork, and that’s what I love about him. 

Member closest to ideal type: 

Much like DAY6, no one really fits the bill for me, I don’t think. Like, sign me up to be bros with all of them, please! But also... Don’t expect us to date. But closest is probably Kibum (Key). 

EXO

Bias: Kim Minseok (Xiumin)

Reason for biasing:

I appreciate the fact that he’s the eldest, but he hasn’t lost his childish spark. He’s good at making the others feel appreciated and he’s very mature in his own way without sacrificing his ability to have a good time. I think I admire that a lot. I think when I first got into EXO, everyone stood out to me in different ways (as it should be with a group), but Minseok just stood out in a way that made me feel calm and hyped up all at the same time, so I think that’s my reason. Plus! Those eyes, dude. Those eyes. Fire and passion lives inside of them.

Member closest to my ideal type:

Once again, I don’t think I’d really romantically vibe with anyone in EXO. It would range from me butting heads with them because of being too opinionated to having to be like a parent to them instead of a lover. And it’s like... I’m a babysitter. If you act like a child, I’ll fall right into mama-mode. Especially with Baekhyun or Chanyeol, I see myself treating them more like younger brothers and being treated more like an older sister or a mom than a girlfriend, and I’m not down with that. Like, I want to take care of you, but I need you to care for me too, yeah? It can’t all be on me. 

Monsta X

Bias: Im Changkyun (I.M.)

Reason for biasing:

He’s very humble, chill and down-to-earth. He doesn’t seem like someone who makes a big fuss about much, and I like that a lot. He seems like someone with a kind of “you do you” attitude. He has his opinions, you have yours. Why should it matter what we think? Let’s just look into personalities. Plus, I love his tonality.  

Member closest to ideal type:

...it’s Im Changkyun himself. We fit well together as far as personality goes, and he’s someone who makes me feel at ease very easily, so I would appreciate that a lot. I would also enjoy the stay-at-home dates, because I feel like he’s that type of person. 

The Boyz

Bias: Kevin Moon

Reason for biasing:

It’s the humor, my dude. It’s always the humor. When I meet someone I meld with humorously—I know we’re gonna be comedy gold and it’s gonna be awesome. Also, he’s extremely talented. Every time he plays an instrument or sings, I feel like it’s more than that. It’s a story, and I admire that so much. I can look at him and know, “Hm. Yup. I’m gonna feel something. Prepare the emotional chamber!”  

Member closest to ideal type:

I feel like this is another group I don’t romantically mesh with. If you think otherwise, lemme know, but as far as I see it, we’re all just really supportive, loving friends. Family! 

Tomorrow X Together

Bias: Choi Beomgyu

Reason for biasing:

I find myself hyping him up every time I see him—how can it not be him? And again, the lisp... I told you I have a thing for it. It makes me mushy inside and I can’t stop it. He’s a really sweet guy, he has a lot of power while dancing and he has a very delicate tone while singing, and I appreciate him so, so much. I think his positive energy is a real joy. 

Member closest to ideal type:

I’m really not sure. I feel like I have another family-like relationship with TXT. Though, even though he’s childish, maybe Kai? I feel like I might draw out the maturity in him and he would help me loosen up a little when I get too uptight. I don’t know, though. 

.

.

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Well! That happened. That was looooong. Dunno why you wanted to know that, but it was a very interesting case study! 

Also, thank you for 100(+) followers! It’s such a huge milestone for me and I can’t thank you enough. 

Hope you enjoyed!  

[i-am-the-gay-shit]

My only Sun - Chapter 14 ‘Kissed by the Sun’

I'VE FINALLY FINISHED THIS FUCKING CHAPTER HOLY FUCK So. I've rewritten his chapter about 60 different times. Writers block has been a BITCH. And the holidays haven't helped. BUT HERE IT IS. Thank ya'll for being so patient! I hope you guys enjoy and I really hope the writers block is gone so I continue without a break like this! There is SMUT in this chapter! (Finally these two finally get to it, huh?) If Smut ain't your thing, you've been warned! ENJOY<3<3<3

Click this link to be directed to the full story

Brian awoke to the sound of birds outside and to that lovely, warm body pressed against him. Looking down, he couldn’t help but smile softly at the beautiful sight. Roger was facing him, his face looked even more angelic then usual. Few strands of his blonde hair fell over his face, his pink lips were parted ever so slightly, and he looked completely relaxed and calm… And the way his face scrunched up before those pretty blue eyes fluttered open. Squinting up at Brian slightly before smiling sleepily. Stretching his body and running his fingers through his hair. The cutest sound escaping his lips…

“God, I feel like absolute shit…” Roger groans out, his voice raspy from just waking up.

“I’d say… You drank more than… bloody hell. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone your size consume that much alcohol.” Brian chuckles softly and Roger lets out a giggle, resting a hand on his own head.

“It’s been a long time since I drank like that…” The blonde shakes his head, gazing at the ceiling. Brian smiles and rubs Roger’s back gently before the blonde slowly sits up.

“I need an advil or something for this headache.” He groans as he sits up and stumbles into the bathroom.

Instant dread washed over Brian as he remembered the two puncture marks that he knew were impossible to miss… He listened to Roger hum softly as he went through the cabinets and popped open a lid. The faucet started to run, but didn't hear much of anything after that.... Praying silently to himself, Brian slowly got up and walked to the bathroom.

Roger stood at the bathroom counter, brushing his teeth while humming a happy sounding tune. He didn't seem to take notice of Brian watching him from the doorway and continued to brush his teeth happily, bouncing to the tune he was humming before rinsing his mouth and repeating this a few more times until he deemed his teeth clean. He washed his face before drying it with a towel and looking into the mirror, moving his blonde hair. Brian studied the red mark through the mirror and couldn’t see any bite mark on the pretty neck… Roger bit his smiling lip as he looked at the red hickey on his neck before he caught movement from the side of his eye. Quickly he spun around and smiled at Brian.

“Hey… I didn't notice you there or see your reflection…” Roger commented softly before looking back into the mirror. Brian quickly moved from the doorway and back into the bedroom before the blonde could accuse him of not having a reflection.

“I wasn’t standing there long…” Brian mutters as he messes with the bed sheets before turning to see Roger smiling from the doorway, his blonde hair was still messy and the shirt just barely covered his thighs. He looked like a beautiful mess… “I-... Er… Sorry about the hickey…” The younger man giggled and shook his head.

“Oh, Bri, it’s fine… I like it…” He smiles softly as Brian blushes and looks away. “Well.. There is an extra tooth brush in there. In the cabinet under the sink. Feel free to use the shower if you want. I’m gonna make us some coffee.” Roger hums as he leaves the room and walks down to the kitchen.

Brian’s mind was racing. Where was the bite mark was all he could think. The area was red but no wound and Brian couldn’t wrap his head around it... He knew if he asked Freddie, he’d point out something about them being soulmates most likely…

Sighing, Brian decided to just not question it right now and stepped into the bathroom. Finding the extra toothbrush and brushing his teeth before glancing at the shower.

Maybe after some coffee. He hummed to himself before walking out and down the hall. Smiling as he watched Roger stand on his tiptoes to reach the coffee mugs in the high kitchen cabinet. Chuckling at the small line of curses leaving the younger man’s lips before he walked over and reached over Roger with ease, grabbing the two mugs he was after. Roger quickly turned his head and smiled sheepishly.

“Thanks…” His voice is soft as he leans up to peck Brian’s lips quickly, taking the mugs from him. “I have creamer or half and half in the fridge, also sugar…” “I drink mine black… Want me to grab the creamer for you?” Brian asks sweetly, kissing Roger back softly before turning to the fridge.

“Please.” Roger chirps happily as he pours their coffee. Taking the creamer and fixing his as Brian sips at the dark, strong beverage. He smiles softly before sipping his much lighter coffee. Sighing deeply as the hot liquid went down his throat. They stood in silence for a minute, just enjoying the calm air between them.

“Um… Did you have fun last night?” Roger asked softly, looking away. “I didn't mean to get so sloshed…” He bit at his pretty pink lip and chewed at it a bit nervously. Brian smiled softly.

“Hey, I actually had a great time. I don’t remember the last time I just let go and let myself have fun and dance like that. And you made it even better… You were so carefree… I’d love to see you like that all the time, without the help of alcohol.” Brian’s smile widens as Roger blushes softly, still chewing at his bottom lip. “Stop that…” He coos softly, reaching over and gently taking the young man’s chin in his hand, his thumb brushing over those pink lips. “Your poor lips… How long has that been a habit for you?” He wondered.

“Ever since I can remember…” The blonde shrugs as he looks into the hazel eyes above him. “Don’t you have any habits?”

“Hm… I tap my fingers or feet when I get nervous or bored. But that’s not harmful to my body… Your lips are going to swell and bruise.” Concern coated his voice, but Roger just hummed like it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’ve done it for so long, I’ll be fine.” He shrugs it off, making Brian frown slightly but he knew how hard a habit like that would be to break. He couldn’t just force the human to stop it. Brian just nodded and let the younger man’s chin go before sipping his coffee again. Though he felt Roger tense a bit as he stared at Brian. There was something he wanted to ask, but he could sense the inner turmoil.

“Roger, babe, what’s wrong?” He sets his coffee down before giving his undivided attention back to the blonde who biting his lip again.

“Um… I wanted to talk to you about our relationship, Bri.” He speaks slowly. Brian feels his heart sink. Did he know? What did he know? What did he find out? How? His mind raced with panic.

“U-uh, su-sure. What about, babe?” He manages to say, trying to appear calm. Why is he so calm? Is he okay? What did I do? Maybe he didn't find out anything? He had to… Was it my reflection? Maybe he really remembered the bite!

“Well… I… We’ve been dating for a bit now… And I was just… Do you wanna… We could take it to the neck level?” Brian’s eyes wide as his mind freezes. Oh is all he can think. Roger’s eyes study him and he quickly adds “I-if you want, of course! No hurry into anything! I was just wondering… If you thought…” He quickly averts his eyes and chews at his bottom lip harshly.

“Uh…” Brian breathes out. “Sorry, I… wasn’t expecting that…” He feels Roger’s mood completely sink. “Bu-but it’s a pleasant surprise!” He quickly blurts out, earning a confused look from Roger. Sighing, he tries to calm himself before continuing. “Sorry, Rog. I didn't mean to get weird. I just… was a little taken back. I’m glad you want to talk about this. I mean, obviously I would love to… To take the next step with you if you were ready… I-I just want you to be ready. I don’t want you to regret…” He looks away. Maybe I shouldn’t encourage this until he knows… Whenever that will be…

“Bri, I could never regret this!” Roger huffs softly, a pretty red blush across his pale cheeks. “I’m sure many people have thought that before, but I really… really feel like we’re…”

“Meant to be?” Brian finishes for him, a small smile spreading on both their lips as their eyes meet.

“We-well, yeah…” The blonde nods softly, warmth spreading through him.

“... I believe we are meant to be, Rog… I really do… And… And If you’re ready…” Brian takes the young man’s hand into his.

“I am ready, Brian. I think it’s so sweet that you’ve been patient and determined to not do anything against my will or take advantage of me… Trying to build our relationship properly on trust and love first… But I am ready… Past ready, honestly…” He mutters. Brian feels an arrow shoot through his heart as Roger spoke about their relationship being built on truth …. “I really want to experience so much with you, Bri… As much as I can. I want your gentle touch and to figure out what drives you absolutely insane… I want to bring you pleasure and to feel your skin against mine… I’ve never felt like this for anyone else, Bri… And it’s barely a want anymore… It’s like a need your touch. I need you beside me… I can’t focus when you’re not with me… and I feel so safe beside you… I can’t imagine how I’d feel to be in your arms after we share our first time together…” Roger’s blush deepened and he moved away as he realized he was babbling. “Sorry, just forget-” “No.” Brian said quickly, gently grabbing the blondes wrist to prevent him from moving any further. “I want to hear more of how you feel…” He speaks softly, closing the distance between them, pressing his body to Roger’s making him step back until he had Roger against the counter. Their noses brushing. “I can’t imagine how it would feel to have you to myself, Rog… I feel the same. I need you beside me…” He hums softly, those blue eyes gazing deeply into his before their lips meet in a deep, yet soft kiss. Both their eyes slipping close as those thin arms wrap around Brian’s neck and pull him even closer. Their kiss deepening even more before Brian pulled away.

“Roger… Are you sure about this…? Right now? We can wai-” The younger man pressed their lips together quickly, silencing Brian.

“I can’t wait…” He mutters against the older man’s lips. “You can’t wait either… Can you?” Brian growls softly.

“I can’t wait, you’re right… But not here…” The older man pulls away, taking the blondes hand and leading him back to the bedroom. Roger giggles softly as he follows Brian’s long strides. The older man turns and quickly brings the blonde into his arms, pulling him close.

“Um… I have a confession…” Brian says making Roger gaze up at him curiously. “I’ve never done this… with another guy, at least… and even then, it’s been awhile since I’ve been with woman… a long while…” He averts his eyes as the younger man stares up at him with slightly wide eyes. The vampire suddenly felt very shy and self-conscious under Roger’s gaze.

“Oh?” Roger tilts his head before smiling softly. “That’s okay… Are you okay with this? We don’t have to do anything if you’re too nervous, Bri. I understand. The last thing I want to do is mak-” It was Brian’s turn to cut the younger one off with a kiss before pulling away with a sweet smile.

“Roggie, now you’re being too sweet to me… It’s fine. I want this… Really I do… I’ll just need some… guidance, I suppose?” Brian explains with a shrug. The blonde smiles brightly.

“Of course, Brian. We’ll take it slow… I’ll help you with anything, okay?” Roger replies sweetly.  His hands caressing Brian’s cheek softly. The older man smiles softly before leaning down and kissing Roger deeply. Their lips moved together in a slow pace at first as Brian guided the young man to the bed and seated them both on the mattress.

Slowly, Brian let his hands grab at hem of the large shirt that covered Roger’s body and gently tugged at it. The blonde smiled softly and pulled away from the older man’s sweet lips before slipping the shirt over his head, smiling as Brian stared down at his body with slightly wide eyes. His hazel eyes drinking in the pale skin. He saw Roger shirtless before, but like this… It was different… So much more different…

“You’re beautiful…” Brian mutters softly, letting his hand run over a pale shoulder. Roger bites his lip shyly and looks away.

“Thanks… No one’s really called me… beautiful before.. I think if anyone beside you used ‘beautiful’ to describe me, I’d punch ‘em in the face… But I like it coming from you…” The blonde blushes softly.

“I meant no disrespect, but you are…” The older man smiles as he traces his finger along the warm skin. Roger looked back at him and smiled back.

“Well… I feel kinda… alone here… Being that I’m one piece of clothing from being completely naked while you still have layers…” Roger points out making Brian laugh softly, shaking his head.

“Sorry, I guess I didn't really think about that…” The older man chuckles softly before starting to unbutton his shirt, blushing slightly at the way Roger watched him. Looking down, Brian stripped his shirt off with ease and threw it to the ground.

“Like what you see…?” Brian asked softly, trying to come off confident. The blonde smirked and bit his lip.

“Yeah, I really like what I see…” Roger doesn’t hesitate or shy away from his words. He giggles as Brian looks down shyly. “Don’t be so shy, Bri. I promise I don’t bite.” That made Brian laugh softly.

“Yeah, but I do.” The vampire says with a slightly teasing tone.

“Promise~?” Brian growls softly at that comment before leaning forward and pressing their lips together in a heated kiss, pushing the blonde back on the bed with his force. He put his body over the smaller, much warmer body and kissed him deeply. Loving the soft little hums coming from the blonds throat as their tongues danced together. Roger’s hands tangled through Brian’s brown curls and gently gripped the hair, trying to pull the older man closer to him.

Their lips moved together heatedly as Brian let his hands travel down the slender sides. Letting them slowly slide back up his bare, warm, soft skin… His cold hands making the younger man shiver and moan softly under his touch.

Brian tore his lips from the sweet pink ones and started kissing down to his pale neck. He let his tongue run over the hickey where he had sunk his fangs in the night before. The memory of that sweet rush of Roger's blood down his throat made him groan as he licked and sucked at the thin area of skin. He could almost taste the sweet blood… almost … and fuck he wants to bite down… but he doesn't…

Instead he allows himself to imagine the thick, warm blood running down his throat as he sucks another hickey on the blonds now red throat. He hips grinding down against the younger man, loving the sweet moan filling the room around them.

“Brian…” Roger gasped softly as the older mans cold hands ran up his warm chest.

Sitting up, Brian urgers the younger man up as well. He had seen Roger without a shirt on. Hell, he's the one who changed him last night… but right now was way different from that… Now the pretty blond was fully awake, one garment away from being naked, and staring up at him with those heavenly blue eyes…

Roger smiled softly as the older man stared down at him. He grew shy under the gaze, so he decided to reach up to touch his lover. Brian’s breath hitching as those warm hands instantly ran up his cold neck and back down to his chest. Exploring all they could with the new exposed territory.

The older man groaned softly as Roger leans forward and kisses at his neck. Those warm lips and tongue against his cold skin. An odd feeling on ecstasy rolled over Brian, making him tilt his head to the side, allowing the younger man more area to explore. Roger took the invitation, licking, biting, sucking, and kissing all over the older man’s neck as his hands traveled down and started to unbutton Brian’s pants.

“Roger…” Brian hums softly before pushing the younger man down on his back. Moving back over the smaller form, letting his lips attack the pale neck. Creating new love bites and marks on the flawless skin. He lets his hands run down the warm body to the hem of Roger’s boxers. With a deep breath, he slowly yanks the fabric down and off of the soft pale legs…

He leans back and is captivated by Roger’s beauty… He never thought another man would attract him the way Roger did… His pale skin was smooth and soft, but just under his navel traveling down was a thin trail of blond curls. So light they almost blend into Roger’s pale skin. Brian let his hands roam down Roger’s chest, through the soft blond curls and down to the younger man’s hardening cock. Roger gaspes softly as Brian gripped him gently, stroking a few times.

“Roger… You’re beautiful…” Brian finds himself whispering again. The younger man biting his lip and blushing.

“You really like saying that about me…” Roger mutters shyly making Brian smile down at him.

“I only speak the truth…” The older man’s smile widens as he leans down to kiss the sweet blond before he lets his hand stroke his lovers member. Swallowing Roger’s muffled moans.

Roger’s fingers threaded back into Brian’s hair, tugging softly as their tongues danced together. Brian tightened his grip before pulling away. Roger whined at the loss of touch.

“Bri…” He whines out making Brian chuckle.

“Already becoming so needy…” He muses softly. Roger huffs and looks away shyly. “...Roger. This is the part I need… a bit of guidance on… How should I continue…?” Those blues eyes snap back up at him. Brian looks away shyly now.  The blond giggles softly.

“Okay.” He says softly, sitting up. Reaching over to his nightstand, taking a small bottle from the drawer.

“That’s…?” Brian looked at the tube curiously.

“It’s lubricant… It makes sex easier and more comfortable, especially with males… Ya know, since we don’t exactly self-lubricant like women.” Roger explains before pausing. “I’m surprised you’ve never heard of lubricant.” Brian blushes and chews on the inside of his cheek.

“I’ve heard of it, just never used it…” He lies. Roger studies him for a moment, obviously not buying the lie but deciding to just ignore it for now.

“Well, either way. We need it… Now, do you want to stretch me or do you want me to do it on my own?” Roger asks. Brian blushes even more at the causal question.

“I-I… er…” He stutters over his words. “W-will I hurt you?” Roger blinks at him, silent for a moment.

“Not much. I mean, if I hadn’t had sex or something in a while, it’d probably hurt a lot more. But-” The blond stops himself, quickly biting his lip and looking away. Brian’s head rushed.

“If you hadn’t had sex in a while?” He felt anger boil in him. What did his lover mean? “Is there something I’m missing?”

“N-No! No-nothing like that! I-I would ne-never… not to you…” Roger looks down. Brian feels a wave of guilt as he feels a rush of sadness through the younger man. His words all truthful.

“I-... I didn't mean to accuse you of anything, Roger. Just the way you said… I mean… What did you mean exactly…?” Brian clears his throat, gently reaching and caressing Roger’s cheek. Roger bit his lip.

“I meant-... I-I mean. You know…” He stutters out, making eye contact only for a second. “We’ve been together… and… You can’t tell me you haven’t…?” Brian’s eye widen as he connects two and two together. A small blush forming as he imagines Roger touching himself thinking about him …. He feels extreme guilt now that even thought about the fact of Roger cheating on him…

“Sorry, I didn't think about that…” Brian admits shyly, looking down.

“You really are prude, aren’t you?” Roger giggles softly, but Brian feels that Roger is still a little upset from his accusation.

“I just never thought you’d touch yourself to the thought of me… It’s flattering, actually… and quite the mental image, if I must say.” He leans over and kisses the younger man. “I must say, I love the thought of you moaning my name while you touch yourself…” He mutters against Roger’s lips. Noticing how the lust builds quickly just from his words.

“Tell me, Roger… Do you enjoy when I say things like that?” Brian asks softly, licking those sweet lips. The blond hummed softly, nodding slowly.

“I do…” Roger bites his lip. Brian closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“I’d love to watch you touch yourself, Rog… Damn , I really would… But this is our first time… I want to touch you…” He admits, opening his eyes slowly. “Is that okay…?” Roger smiles softly.

“That’s perfect, Brian…” The blond seems to glow as he holds the lube to the older man. Brian takes it, pushing Roger back down once again. “Bri, will you please take your damned pants off?” He huffs. Brian had completely forgot about his own clothes, too caught up in Roger.

“Oh, yeah.” He smiles sheepishly before standing up quickly and kicking his unbuttoned pants off. Leaving his boxers on for the moment. He quickly got back in his previous position. He opened the lube and poured some on his fingers.

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you…?” Brian asks softly, making Roger smile.

“I promise…” The blond agrees. Brian nods before spreading the younger man’s thighs. He lets his hand drop down and a slick finger massage younger man’s hole. He bites his lip softly before pressing his middle finger to the tight ring of muscle. Slowly pushing the digit into the smaller man. He was surprised to see how easily Roger’s body took the long digit. The younger man gave a small gasp, making Brian pause.

“Are you okay?” Brian asks quickly. Roger giggles softly.

“I-I’m fine… Your fingers are just… so much longer…” He moans softly, biting his lip. Brian blushes softly.

“Do you like it?” The older man wonders as he gently curls the long digit, loving the way Roger’s chest hitches and the sharp intake of his breath.

“Ye-yeah…” Roger gasps softy, his eyes fluttering before closing as Brian slowly thrusts his finger deeper. “Fuck…” He mutters.

Brian can’t help but wonder exactly what Roger uses when he touches himself, because even with the addition of his ring finger the younger man takes him with ease. He decides he’ll ask about that later and continues to slowly thrust his fingers. Roger’s small moans now filling the room, making Brian remember the way his lover moaned the night before when his fangs were deep in that pretty neck…

Licking his lips, Brian quickly added the pointer finger. He wanted Roger to moan like he did last night… He wanted to hear that sweet voice. And with a certain angle and curl of his fingers… He did. It shocked him at first, when Roger arched his back and moaned out.

“F- fuck !” Roger gasps out. “Bri, d-do that again… pl-please…” He begs softly. And that’s all Brian needed to resume his work and hit the bundle of nerves once again. Smirking at the way Roger’s hips bucked against his fingers. How his eyes rolled back. How his fingers gripped at the sheets beneath him…

The vampire continued to move his fingers in and out, trying to continuously hit the sweet spot but he was making the sweet blond moan even when he missed.

“Br-Brian..” Roger moans, reaching to put his hands on the older man’s shoulders. Brian instantly stops and gives Roger a concerned look. “I-I’m ready. I need more… I need you, if you’re ready…?” He bites his lip shyly as Brian takes a moment to process his words. But he nods quickly after he understands Roger’s wants and slips his fingers out of the loose hole. A small whine leaving the younger man’s throat.

“Are you sure you want-” “Brian Harold May. I dare you to finish that fucking sentence.” Roger huffs softly, cutting the older man off. Brain smiles softly as he raises his hands.

“Just making sure, love…” He chuckles softly before grabbing the lube again. He searches Roger’s feelings, making sure there isn’t a slight hint of doubt… and is happy when he finds none. But he does feel his own nervousness start to boil inside him.

“Brian. You have to take your boxers off if we’re going to continue…” Roger points out with a smirk, but quickly changes to a sweet smile. “Don’t be shy, Bri… It’s just me… I doubt that makes you feel much better… But…” He bites his lip. Brian chuckles softly.

“Strangely… It does make me feel better.” He admits softly before standing up and slowly stripping his boxers off. Looking away as Roger’s eyes scanned his body.

“ Jesus ” Roger bites at his lip again as his eyes fall on the older mans thick aching cock. “I thought you’d be big, but damn … I don’t think any toy could ever prepare me for that …” Brian snaps his gaze to the younger man who didn't even take notice of his own words.

Guess I really do have a lot to work with… Brian can’t help but smirk softly, his confidence building up as he settles back between Roger’s thighs.

“So you use toys, love?” Brian hums. “ That will be an interesting talk later.” He muses with a smirk as Roger averts his gaze.

“Interesting talk or an interesting night ?” Roger wonders quietly, making Brian blush softly.

“Possibly both…” Brian opens the lube and pours a generous amount on his hand before slowly rubbing the slick liquid over his cock. Groaning softly as he did. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had done this…

“Take your time, Brian…” Roger coos softly almost as if he could sense Brian's uneasy feeling. “There is no rush. We have all the time in the world.” Brian smiles softly at the humans sweet words.

“You're truly too sweet for me, Rog….” Brian smiles before leaning down and kissing the sweet man deeply. Their lips moving and molding together perfectly as Brian moved his hips down against Roger softly, almost like he was testing it.

Roger moaned softly into Brian's mouth. Bucking his own hips up to feel the friction again. Both gasping softly as their erections rubbed against each other.

Brian reaches down between them and lines himself up with the younger mans entrance. Their lips slow to a stop as Brian pushes into the tight heat.

Gasping, Brian's eyes roll back as he's engulfed in his lovers heat. It had been years since he felt such warmth…

“Fu- fuck … Brian…” The older man is brought out of his thoughts and back to reality as Roger's voice gasps softly. He opens his eyes and looks down at the beautiful blond beneath him. His pretty blue eyes closed as he bites his lip. Eyebrows slightly furrowed, making Brian stop any movement immediately.

“Are you okay…?” Brian manages to ask softly.

“Ye-yea….” The young man nods slowly, opening his eyes to stare up at the vampire. Those lovely blues clouded with lust

“Am I okay to continue….?” He asks, letting his thumbs gently rub circles in Roger's hips. The younger man bites his lip and closes his eyes for a moment. Brian let's the younger man take his time adjusting to his size.

“Ok-okay…” Roger nods softly. “Yo-you can continue.”

Brian hums softly before pushing deeper into heated body. Both of them closing their eyes and taking it slow. Brian stopping every few seconds to let Roger adjust until he’s fully seated in the younger man.

“Go-god, Roger…” Brian pants out, slowly opening his eyes to gaze down at his lover. Roger hums softly, hands slowly running up Brian’s arms. Hooking behind his neck.

“Bri…” He moans softly. “Mo-move…?”

Brian takes a deep breath before slowly moving his hips, both of them groaning. Roger’s fingers curled in Brian’s hair, gently tugging as the older man began to slowly thrust.

Roger moaned softly as he started to gently rock back against Brian's hips. Their pace was slow and hesitant as Brian got into the rhythm of everything.

“Roger…” Brian moans softly. “Does it feel good for you….?” He asks softy. Roger smiles gently.

“It does… But it would feel a bit better if you quickened your pace…?” The blond hints softly.

“Oh, sorr-”

“Don't apologize, Brian.” Roger giggles softly. “I'm in no rush. Take your time.”

Brian smiles down at his sweet human before gently gripping the thin hips and started to quicken his pace. Groaning softly, the moans from Roger became louder and louder and it was music to Brian’s ears…

Soon they had a decent pace going, but Brian knew he could make the younger man moan louder… He just had to find-

“Brian~!!” Roger gasped out, his back arching up as his blue eyes roll back in pleasure. His mouth forming an ‘O’ as he moans.

Found it Brian thinks, smirking before pulling back and thrusting back in. Hitting Roger’s prostate head on, making a loud moan rip from those pretty lips. Moaning, Brian began to set an even faster pace. Driving himself against that sweet spot deep in his lover. Adding more and more force with each thrust of his hips. Roger’s legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.

“ Fuck, fuck, Brian!” Roger moans out loudly. His own hips grinding and meeting each of Brian’s thrusts. The bed beneath them creaking with every movement as Brian really starts to pound into Roger’s body. Both completely lost in the ecstasy.

“Ro-Rog, I-I can’t…” Brian groans out as Roger pulls his hair.

“M-me too!” The younger agrees in a series of moans.

With one more push, Brian sees white as Roger’s tight heat becomes impossibly tighter. The younger man’s body arching up and shaking as his orgasam rips through his body. Brian groans as he feels his own release take over.

Both of them fall back against the bed, Brian on top of Roger, as they both pant and come down from their high. Brian is the first to come back to his senses, realizing he was practically smothering the smaller man, he began to move off. Roger whined, tightening his legs around the older man’s body. “Love, I don’t want to suffocate you.” Brian chuckles as the blond mutters something he couldn’t quite understand. He eventually is able to pull away from Roger’s grasp, letting his eyes examine the small body.

Shit … He thinks as he chews the inside of his cheek, staring at the bruised neck and the bruising area on Roger’s hips where he had grabbed him… He let his eyes wander further down to see Roger’s sticky thighs and wet, leaking hole.

Looking around, he quickly got up. Ignoring the small protest from his tired lover, he made his way to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth before soaking it in warm water. As he returned, he smiled as Roger was sitting up. Pouting up at him.

“Don’t give me that look.” Brian chuckles again as Roger pouts even more. He sits in between his lovers legs and brings the washcloth to his skin gently. Using small, soft movements as he wipes the sticky substance from Roger’s thighs and hole.

“Yo-you don’t have to do this, Bri…” Roger blushes softly as he realizes his lover his cleaning him. But Brian simply smiles and continues to slowly clean him. Leaning down and kissing at the bruises on those pale hips.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to be so rough…” The older man admits, eyes flicker up to Roger’s soft blue ones.

“It’s fine… I enjoyed it.” Roger smiles sweetly, reaching down and caressing Brian’s cheek.

Brian’s smile grows wider as he runs the cloth down his thighs a few more times before setting the cloth on the nightstand. He laid beside his lover and pulled him close to his chest. Burying his nose into the sweet golden locks. He honestly couldn’t believe what they just did… and it made him so happy… He felt so warm… Like he had been kissed by the sun for a moment.

“I love you…” He mutters softly, smiling as he feels a warm feeling blossom in the human.

“I love you too, Bri…” Roger hums, cuddling closer to the older man’s cool chest.

For a moment. A split moment. Brian forgot about the rest of the world and their problems. Forgot he was a vampire. About Paul. About his past. All that was there was Roger… held tightly in his arms… Brian knew reality was close behind, but for now he just wanted to hold the warm man and focus on only now .

[financialinstability]

uni!roger taylor & brian may - car ride one-shot

my first fic!! wooo!!

word count:  1365

warning: angst! a lot of maylor (but its platonic bc i know who god is sis)!! there might be grammatical errors or stuff like that since english is like my third language lmao, mentions of violence tag: @benmydickhardy @fckmeroger-ina (i sent u an anon) 

----------------- It was the eary hours of morning and the lack of Brian shouting at him was quite concerning. Usually by now he would’ve gotten a real handful of what consequences he could get for his behavior and how it would affect the band - if they ever made it big. This time, it had gone too long since they had spoken, and it seemed as if neither of them wanted to touch the subject.

The silence in the car was deafening and the roads were empty only lit up by the occasional street lamp. “Honestly, Roger you’re un-fucking-believable - how many times do I have to pick you up from these things?” Brian calmly breaks the silence.

Roger sighed and looked out the window. He hated it when he got confronted like this, but he wasn’t surprised.

“I can’t have it on my conscience. The people at the top have to listen and end that dreadful war” He answers, trying to keep the conversation calm.

Usually it would be a lot of screams and accusations of lack of empathy and how silence strengthens the enemy but tonight was different. Roger knew that he shouldn’t have called Brian who had a huge exam in a few days that he was nervous about passing.

Which is highly unusual for Brian, but the usual feeling for Roger when it came to uni work.

---- 4 hours earlier

“Roger it’s fucking 2 am, this better be good” Freddie hissed through the phone.

“Listen Fred, you’re the fifth person I’ve rang - you’ve gotta come pick me up. I am in Liverpool” Roger answered, his voice low and anxious.

If Freddie didn’t come - he would have to call Brian and disturb his studies. Roger would probably have to endure another lecture on irresponsibilities and “what ifs” with the worst case scenarios.

Roger was used to going to demonstrations and he was used to getting arrested since the police now seemed to recognize him from previous events. It was important to him to be a part of the masses and send the messages of demand to politicians and their kind. This time he had gone to one against the Vietnam war, in Liverpool. 4 hours away from where he lived and the only thought that had hit him was “fuck it, they need to know that we won’t stop until they get out”. Surprisingly out of all of the demonstrations he had been at for this cause, he had only been arrested 4 times. “Holding cells get filled up quickly I guess” he thought since luck had left him when it came to clashes with police.

He loves Brian, but sometimes he kept treating him like a delicate flower - especially when he went to marches and demonstrations. He remembers clearly the time he had to get bailed out because of a protest for the cuban revolution. It was the first time he had called Brian to get him out, usually it had been his sister or freddie. Hell, he once paid Mary to come get him out.

Brian yelled at him for being irresponsible and getting arrested. He even told him to stop provoking cops which he gladly responded with “acab” which earned him a playful smack to the back of his head. After that it became a regular thing. Brian getting a call, often very late from Roger who was stuck somewhere far away and needed a ride back. At first Brian liked hearing Rogers opinions, mainly because they never discussed politics but it also fascinated him that Rog didn’t mind the “commie” label. Hell that man would fucking insist on you using it and force you to explain why it’s a bad thing. Brian would never admit it, but it was amusing to observe at parties when some political science majors asked questions or just people you could see were conservative. You’d have to look for a long time to find a more colorful reputation than Roger Taylor, and the man knew it very well.

“Roger, that’s a 4 hour drive one way. You’re fucking mad if you think I’m coming to get you” Freddie answered with muffled voices in the background. Roger was sure that he was rolling his eyes and tried to explain to Mary what the late call was about. “I have places to be tomorrow, can’t you get arrested somewhere closer?” he continued with a small laugh. Roger smirked “you know me, I need to explore the kingdoms holding cells”.

The annoyed cough of the cop made him remember that he couldn’t keep bantering with Freddie and actually had to find someone to come and get him. He sighed and said goodbye to Freddie.

“Is your mate coming?” The cop didn’t even bother to hide his annoyance with the blonde boy in front of him. “I’m getting really tired of seeing your face.” Roger knew that he could react and probably get punched or he could do what he had been doing for the past hour - pick up the phone and dial a new number again. Sure, the cop got even more annoyed because it technically wasn’t allowed, but he’d been in this situation enough times by now to know that he would annoy them more if he didn’t do it.

It took one ring for Brian to pick up the phone so Roger knew he didn’t interrupt any sleep. Not too surprising considering that exam was right around the corner, but he swallowed his pride as he said the words that he had said so many times now. He felt shame as he disturbed his friend with this, again.

“Could you pick me up? I’m at the police station in central Liverpool”

There was a silence before he heard Brian sigh and accept the mission. Jokingly he had asked him to try to avoid any more trouble.

--------------------------------------------

“I promise, this is the last time I’ll call to pick me up from these things. I tried to get someone else I swear” Roger said, not daring to even look in the other man’s direction. “I know that you don’t agree with the way I do things politically and how I express my opinions.” He felt his insecurities build up and it felt just like the feeling when he stood in the crowd and chanting demands for change and action. Never had the blonde man felt so alone in the world. What if he one day gets killed while “on duty” as he liked to say it? Would anyone bother to care and come looking for answers? Hell, he didn’t even know if anyone would give a damn enough about him to demand justice if he got unfairly treated by cops or if anyone would believe it to be unprovoked. The thoughts alone scared him, but he didn’t want to share the vulnerability with someone he knew he had majorly screwed over by asking him to drive for 4 hours to come pick him up from yet another police station.

Suddenly the car stops, and the man beside him turn to face him, for the first time in hours. Brian’s brown eyes look into his baby blues. Roger could see the worry in Brian’s eyes and he was pretty sure that Brian could see his anxiety in his.

“Please don’t.” The other man said and looking down as if to hide something “I need you to call me in these situations so that I know you survived.” He was fickling with his hands as if he was holding something with his head still looking down. The serious note lingering as he raises his head to say “Don’t make me think that you’re a part of the rising number in casualties” while mocking the sound of a newscaster telling a story of a lethal railroad accident. Both men burst into laughter. “Thanks, I’ll try my best” Roger said and signalized to get back on the road. They had a bit left before they were home. Brian started the engine and quickly got back to the road. They continued the road trip home in a comfortable silence. Roger could finally relax, knowing that he isn’t the bother he once thought he was.

----

please let me know what you think!!

[cuddlysmii7y]

Newbie ((BBS Gang AU))

Since I hit 2,000 followers, its time to finally release my milestone fic!! Thank you all so much for following me, I hope you enjoy!!

“Now remember, the new guy is coming in tonight so please try to be on your best behaviors. We don’t need to scare him off,” Anthony started. “I think he could be the one.”

“You said that about the last 4 guys you brought in.” Tyler pointed out boredly.

Luke flicked a toothpick across the meeting table, bringing attention to himself. “Just give it up already. We’ve all been together for fucking years. It’ll be impossible to find someone who can do what we need and who also melds into the group.” Luke leaned his chair back, crossing his arms behind his head as though that was all that needed to be said.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

for the character ask meme: one member of the IPRE (your pick!)

*slams my fists down* L U C R E T I A.  This is just gonna be…it’s just gonna be rough.  I’ve made a few goofs about the Director here and there but I literally have not written a happy headcanon here.

Send me a character and I’ll write 10 headcanons!

Lucretia’s hair has been white all her life.  Her mother suffered a bit of a magical mishap halfway through her pregnancy and there was a lot of concern that Lucretia would die, or be born with three heads, or the gods only know what else, but instead she was a perfect, healthy baby girl with skin like black walnut wood and tightly crimped white curls and all the usual number of limbs.  She wore her hair long for all her childhood and all her time in the IPRE, usually tied back into a ponytail that poofed out into a snowy cloud like a halo behind her.  On the Starblaster, as the crew grew closer, she let the others come up with new ways for her to wear it, letting Lup cast spells to turn it straight as bone (and long enough to brush her knees), or teaching Magnus how to twist it into dreadlocks, or letting Merle braid it with flowers and oils that kept it soft and strong.  Sometimes Lup and Taako would team up with two Mage Hands each and she’d have eight hands turning her hair into a thousand tiny perfect plaits.  It reset after each cycle, after all–Lucretia was game for anything, as long as it didn’t require her to cut her hair.  

After Lucretia became Madame Director, after the Bureau had been founded and the moon base was under construction and all her journals were gone, the Director stood in front of her mirror and took a razor to her hair until it was a cap of curls less than half an inch long, and all the glorious clouds of white lay littered around her feet.

Lucretia’s resume might say ‘biographer’ but it would be more accurate to call her a ‘war correspondent’.  A universe where a significant majority of the population has powerful magic means that even a minor civil dispute can be some pretty impressive hijinks, and Lucretia was kind of like Angus, a wayward twelve-year-old wandering into the local dragon-vs-hero battle and writing furiously in the background while dodging fireballs without looking up.  By the time she got recruited by the IPRE as a young twenty-something, she’d ghostwritten about fifteen books and every journalist worth their salt knew that, if you needed someone to go somewhere horribly dangerous and write something about it with no concern for their own safety, you wanted Lucretia.  Lucretia’s class is Multitasker and she’s level 450 with a prestige class in Unflappable and she didn’t exclusively get that from her time on the Starblaster.

Lucretia and Magnus were an odd pair, as far as most people could tell, but they fell in together immediately and with a vengeance.  It was never an issue of romance or sex–Lucretia only occasionally remembers that those are things that people experience–but Magnus was big and jovial and seemed to fill a room with his booming voice, and Lucretia leaned toward him like gravity and was surprised to find that he could be quiet and soothing as easily as loud and boisterous.  Lucretia never had a brother, before, but she thought sometimes that Magnus was what brothers were like, affectionate and rough and protective.  So protective.  Magnus died in almost one in five cycles, more than anyone except Merle–and Merle’s many deaths were quick, painless things.  Magnus died trying to find the Light, bled out as they tried to save him or fell protecting their backs as they ran, and after his tenth death Lucretia hurled herself at him, at the start of the next cycle, and burst into tears.  He had to be more careful, she said as he hesitantly rubbed her back.  He had to remember that they were waiting for him to come back, he had to remember that the crew was waiting for him.  Sometimes Lucretia thinks about telling Magnus those exact words and she hates herself.

Lucretia couldn’t stand the idea of abandoning her crew, even after the voidfish took their memories at her behest.  Davenport, of course, she took on as an assistant–she didn’t know, she had never imagined that she would reduce him so far, her brilliant, competent, well-spoken captain.  She cried for an hour and a half, locked alone in a room, before she could stand to face him again.  She attended Merle’s wedding, took a private bet with herself that it wouldn’t last more than two years.  She attended Magnus’ wedding, too, and that one, oh, that one she thought would last–news of the destruction of Ravensroost came just months later, and Lucretia’s chest hurt with the need to go and hug Magnus and let him cry into her shoulder the way he had when worlds died.  Barry was…a problem to track, to say the least, and Lucretia was never quite sure if he was alive or dead or just a very competent illusionist.  Liches are such a pain.  Seeing Taako playing up to an audience without Lup at his shoulder was jarring, but he seemed…not happy, but like he was enjoying himself, at the very least, and then Glamour Springs happened and Taako dropped off the map and Lucretia’s heart stopped.  Lup was dead and if Taako died too, she would never forgive herself.

Lucretia hired Magic Brian for a lot of reasons, among them his competence, but his voice–his voice reminded her so much of the twins.  On her better days, she would listen to him talk and her wistfulness would be a small part of her, not enough to really distract her.  On her worse days, she would hear Brian laugh from across the room and there would be a lurch in her chest as her head snapped up and she looked for a flash of red and identical smirks, and the crashing revelation was like losing them all over again.

In theory, the Bureau of Balance uniform is blue and silver.  Lucretia chose it on purpose, because she couldn’t take the way her throat closed up every time Davenport wore a red coat.  She doesn’t enforce it, but generally speaking people don’t wear a lot of red because it makes them stick out like a sore thumb.  She should have known that Magnus and Merle and Taako wouldn’t give a damn one way or another.  Merle still dresses a little bit like a train crash in a tropical print shirt, and Taako’s sense of style remains Unique, but they both usually have at least one item of red clothing on at all times.  Magnus has a red bandana that he wears around his neck like it’s sewn in place.  When it’s pointed out to them, Carey making a joke about how “well, no one ever has to wonder who you are, you all dress in red!”, they laugh it off and make excuses about how it’s just what’s in their closet.  They just don’t feel right without some red.  Lucretia, overhearing this, has to excuse herself, because she can’t tell if she’s going to laugh or cry.

Lucretia is tired a lot of the time.  She can’t tell if it’s because her body is older, now, older than she’s ever been but also nowhere near the age she really is, or because she’s so lonely.  There are days where she’s just numb, where the only thing that gets her out of bed is Davenport standing there looking expectant, and other days where she breaks everything in her office, until she runs out of things to throw and is left staring at a room full of shards through a haze of tears she doesn’t remember crying.  It shocks her, a little bit, to wake up on the first day after she’s recruited the boys, and actually think I can’t wait to see what happens today.  It’s the first time in years that her reflection smiles at her.

Lucretia sits with Junior sometimes and just…talks to them.  Tells them about all the things that no one knows, that no one remembers, talks about the Starblaster and all the worlds they visited.  She talks about how Lup and Taako could cook an entire feast with a bunch of shitty phosphorescent mushrooms, and how Davenport banned the pair of them from piloting the ship except in a crisis because while Taako was learning the controls Lup shouted do a barrel roll and he almost killed them all.  She talks about Magnus and his huge stupid heart that he always wore on his sleeve, and how it broke every year that they failed to save a world.  She talks about Barry and the way he once accidentally became the messianic leader of a necromantic cult, and about how Merle had to swoop in and save him from being sacrificed by riding a treant into battle.  She talks about the year where she was alone because they had all died, they died and she escaped and she thought that this would be like that year, but this is worse.  Seeing them see her and not know her, knowing they’re literally inches away, it’s so much worse.  Junior presses their tentacles against the glass when Lucretia starts crying, and she presses her hands back.

Lucretia hasn’t slept for more than three hours straight in a decade.  She has nightmares, you see.  This is a known, but unspoken, thing at the Bureau.  The Director wanders the halls like a homeless ghost at odd hours, not really checking up on anything so much as just…drifting.  Sometimes she finds another person, wandering, and brings them back to her office for tea, but there’s never any discussion of it.  One night, after Refuge, she passes the Reclaimers’ dorm and hears the sound of clattering and murmured voices, a familiar ramble about who the fuck makes powdered chocolate why do people not love themselves Magnus do not FUCKING touch that pot, and she has her hand on the doorknob and is about to walk inside on weary autopilot before she remembers.

After the dust settles, Lucretia goes and sits on the floor in the mostly-dark voidfish room.  Not very Directorly, perhaps, to be sat on the floor in the light of the voidfish tank with her old jacket in her lap, but she’s finished her task and she’ll be unDirectorly if she wants to.  Besides, there are tearful reunions happening, and she feels horribly out of place.  This is their victory, this is what she worked for all these years, what she sacrificed everything for, and she just feels empty, because even after all this, her crew, her family, is still outside and she’s in here, in this base that has been more or less her self-made prison.  It is, she thinks, no more than she deserves, but the part of her that’s still a reserved twenty-something biographer newly thrust into the spotlight had wished for something else.  The sound of footsteps takes her off-guard, and she looks back over her shoulder, away from the voidfishes, to see Davenport.  He looks sharp and alert in a way she’s sorely missed, but he also looks…unsure.

“You, ah.  You cut your hair,” he says, and Lucretia raises a hand thoughtlessly, as if she’s not used to the short length.

“It was too much work to take care of it alone,” she says, the lie she always tells about why she keeps it so short, and Davenport huffs at her, cracks a faint smile.  She’s a very tall human, and sitting, they’re almost on eye level.  

His eyes fall to her jacket, in her lap, and he sighs.  “Come on,” he says.  “Everyone’s getting drunk.  You’d better join us or they’ll come get drunk here, instead.”

“I thought maybe–”

“We’re still going to have a talk,” he says sharply, interrupting her.  “But get up off that floor and come have a goddamn drink, Lucretia.”

“Yes, Captain,” she says softly, and after she stands, he takes her hand and leads her back into the light.

[wakabond-blog]

I had reservations about doing this reaction post but I’m watching the NBC mini-promos for everyone (cue lil’ kid saying that Javi is his ONLY hero <3) competing tonight and all the feels flooding in.

Also gonna put my dream podium out there in advance so I can lay claim to my fantasies before they possibly flop: Yuzu, Nathan, Javi (in that order for Gold, Silver, and Bronze), but ofc the best scenario is that everyone skates well and leaves the ice happy and the gremlin judges can do whatever. I haven’t watched a lot of the earlier-group men this season, but looking at their music choices I’m pretty excited for Julian Zhi Jie Yee’s Build a Home program (P/C’s 2016 FS from Euros that year still sticks with me) and hopefully Yaroslav hits his 4F. Just writing out everyone’s name is getting me hella nervous

THIRTY ONE GUYS UP 4 HOURS FML LET’S GIT TO IT, first group up on warmup ice: ayyy Vincent hitting a nice 4Lz-3T

AHHH NBC dropping me randomly into Felipe Montoya’s program right into a botched 3F-2T; c’mon man AISH U TOOK AWAY JAVIER RAYA’S SPOT FOR THIS uwu I kinda dig the all white costume tho but must be a binch to find from the audience viewpoint

Chafik Besseghier actually into taximan more than during the Team SP like yeah sure NBC say it’s part of “French creativity” but that taxi look is wonky...points for commitment though, right? 77.01 with all those lil’ green boxes gouda job Chafik; also a note on that French quirky creativity comment anyone else remember Brian Joubert trying to “disprove” people calling him gay by doing a nude photoshoot

MY BOI Vincent Zhou HITS DAT 4Lz-3T first at the Olympics with that 4Lz-3T combo!!! gah other two jumps off-axis but damn he has the hardest technical content but man you gotta deliver all of it including rotations and GOE; also *pushes glasses up* Vincent ~almost~ got a perfect ACT score wat u doing get that 36 (LOL AT THE COMMENTATORS SAYING HIS SIS GOT A PERFECT SCORE); BANG 84.53 with some stubby GOEs I can live with that new season’s best YAAAS u chase those cars

Okay so the announcement for Denis Ten is in English over the loudspeakers but there’s like a little interruption when they just repeat the word “Kazakhstan” but in Korean phonetics; REIGNING BRONZE MEDALIST LET’S GO nope there goes the 4S-->2S, NICE triple axel though!, also loving the royal blue shirt, triple lutz triple NO (sorry had to say that), but the music is great kinda operatic but not like a loud Bocelli; considering his injuries and other hurdles this is alright, his entire season had a rough start ALSO the flower girls have dresses that match the rink so QUTE also Frank Carroll is still not retired mkay

Matteo Rizzo NICE 3A also considering that this is choreo’d by his mom this is great, strong Italian vibes, really good lines, straight camel with the leg position above the hip, good rotation; love the arms out of the 3Lz this would be a program I would want to do OKAY NBC WE GET THAT U NEED A QUAD TO GET ON THE PODIUM but friggin Matteo’s job is to make his mom choreo proud also considering how this is by far the biggest stage he’s been on after dethroning Ivan Righini, dis is gr8

Michael Christian Martinez honestly still love his taking YOI in stride basically Phichit IRL, not a great performance by any means, really low score in the 50s sheesh but hey that signature Biellmann though! this first group was alright still looking ahead

Yaroslav Paniot that was rough :/// also he took out the 4F and fell on all 3 passes (I mean he landed on his knee on the axel but like...what do you even call that?) damn Tammy Gambill coaches him too, into last place :(( it’s okay Yaroslav

Yan Han going for that hard nose blow and tissue grab looks intense LOVE THAT HARD SLAP ON THE BARRIER you got this my man, AHHH yas more Twilight, NICE TRIPLE AXEL BEST SO FAR man was that rotation fast, crap that 4T still looking for a clean toe in this comp; also these SPs are passing really quickly, Vincent still in the lead after Han’s 80.63

Julian Zhi Jie Yee OMGOMGOMG okay excited for this, awww love the shot back to the opening ceremony; love his shirt with the slight slit V not intrusive but modern and sleek LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE it; AHHH THE BEATS OF BUILD A HOME ready for this show off for Malaysia, NICE TRIPLE AXEL he had so much space coming down, maintaining composure, come on GREAT LUTZ halfway mark here come the lyrics and ahhh slipping on the 3F-3T, I think that content should be enough for him to make the FS, lines could be a bit better but his spin levels seem there good for him! Man he really floated on the 3A I’m hoping this’ll go into the low 70s yep 73.58 good score for him

And cue more ice-less places Brendan Kerry kinda attractive in that down-under way, used to be really smol but then hit that caucasian puberty WHOOO first clean 4T of the comp, like the shimmery dark blue shirt, nice 3Lz-3T who needs a quad sal if there’s anything the pairs comp taught us it’s that going clean leaves a greater impression than hard tricks, saved that 3A, this cut of Everybody Wants to Rule the World is so #inspirational someone get me my book of self-affirmations also getting all these coach-skater revelations Nikolai Morozov coaches Kerry?? dang, whoa slots right in behind Vincent with an 83 and change

Moris Kvitelashvili okay who tf put his name as Morisi on the official docs they actually announced his names as that ETERI U ONLY HAVE ONE BOY, bring on the Buble, smooth 3A that flow, def on feelin good on that 4S, after Boyangman’s Spiderman program I’ve grown to have a deeper appreciation for Michael Buble, he’s really tall but one of those lanky awkward guys but eh I give him props for having the gumption to compete for Georgia and getting to compete on Olympic ice

Keegan Messing LOL his intro “actually born in Alaska, proficient Yo-Yo master” aww singin in the rain WOW nice 4T-3T I’m laughin at clouds too Keegan, oof that 3A fall though, very fast spinner no travelling either...okay but seriously can we get RIka Kihira here to give these guys a 3A clinic or something, for a second this really feels like a Javi program, nice 3Lz to finish out the jumps my god I thought his coach was either Eteri/Shawn White c.2010 hair wow 85 taking away the lead from Vincent; 12 men done, 18 left!

This next warmup group Danny wit dat fresh haircut, NBC hyping up the final group omg chill ur horses, Michal with those sleeve ribbons!

Michal Brezina those bedazzled dragons, WOW QUAD sal (okay I thought it was a flip at first), good 3A nothing under review, not to compare but to compare this is like Seimei beta ver., beautiful delayed 3F, also I feel like I hear people clapping along to the drums but I don’t see anyone...it’s prolly the NK cheer squad, this skate should just sneak into 1st, damn his profile sideshot looks like a dinosaur, AWWW RAF lol still surprised by these coaching situations OH BOI lol just into 1st by 0.04 over Keegan

Cha Junhwan c’mon get that gypsy dance on bring the soul of Wakaba to the games (I expect shoulder shimmies), TAKE A DEEEEP breath Brian, wow dicey moment with the 3F-3T but landed flawlessly, even better 3A crowd goes WILDDDD, quick interjection these scores that are starting to pile into the mid-80s are seriously reminding me of the bronze-medal battle in Sochi I mean yeah now there’s a pretty solid list of 5/6 guys for the podium but still..chills..., might have urs but really bringing the energy otherwisein the stsq arms flairs right on the beat of the music (I’ll count those as shimmies) wow first standing O very well deserved all the korean flags!!

Other sidenote you know who’s gonna get more cool team jackets than Marina Zueva? Brian friggin Orser: Canada, Korea, Japan, Spain, Kazakhstan! all those colors!! gotta catch ‘em all and with a score of 83+ Junhwan goes into that pack of mid-80s

Paul Fentz jacksepticeye doppleganger back on the ice, honestly great 3T-3T screw the squad his air position is really good, wow wild like on the 3A but again great air position (honestly this plus straight legs on camel spins are like the must-haves), also loving this jazzy music it works for him, Wonderwall was WUNDERFUL

Interjection of hockey testosterone jeez being a referee in that would be terrifying you’re wearing no padding sheesh

Misha Ge okay srsly what is the point of saying “Uzbekistan” in English and then again in Korean phonetics? not into the brown ombre, good 3A, getting gypsy pirate vibes gawd that spin extension though ta die fo

Cutaway to Yuzu absolutely DESTROYIN that EZ applesauce pouch (okay it’s not applesauce but man is he twistin every last drop out)

And since I’m already doing this huge ass shitpost I might as well comment on some of the commercials, the 23andme thing where Warren Buffett narrates “ill let u choose any car but u only get one you’d take care of it so well right WELL THAT’s UR BODY”...kinda hypocritical coming from a dude who only eats McDs, See’s Candies, Coke and steak...

Jorik Hendrickx awww I actually had no idea his sis Loena made it too, gosh Je Suis Malade reminds me of Adelina’s failed comeback...anyway good 3A to start; I remember how emotional his qualifying through Nebelhorn was enjoy this bb, wow he’s gonna join the mid-80s pack too judges panicking how tf do we separate them AWW Loena clapping so cute and Jorik smiling!! love this

Also screaming about how I can see the final group on my shitpost list getting closer to my cursor *bites nails*

Literally the biggest actual fuqboi of this comp Daniel Samohin is up with a new ‘do that fresh fade also doesn’t he have that company/group thing black wolf white wolf WELL DAMN BLACK WOLF JUST HIT HIS 4T-3T god remember when he destroyed his shoulder at Skate America, whoa first two clean quads of the comp so far who knew flopchild would it get together at the Olympics also classic Daniel guitar solo ay fuq down on the 3A gdi this is why we can’t have nice things LOL also the first skater to finish in the wrong direction, cute lil’ smile at the end though! Also gonna hit the low-80s aww happy tears!!! omg is that Nikolai Morozov yup 80 points and change jeez top 6 all separated by less than 2 points lol

Group 4 on the ice jeez those short sleeves SLAY BOI LOL THESE ADAM PROMOS literally all of the vernacular “fierce, I’m a full prone monster” *smizes* okay I’m going for a walk and hope to be back by Deniss see ya’ll in a quick sec and good luck to the first five in this group...but srsly I gotta get up or else risk carpal tunnel at this point </3

Adam Rippon, Dmitri Aliev

Okay jk I made it back for Patrick Chan midway through his performacne looks like his first couple jump elements were good supposedly missed his 3A he looks really tense damn PChiddy it’s alright (sidenote his chest looks bigger than I remember), also ofc Dimi is in the lead now with a tech score over 50

Keiji Tanaka, Alexei Bychenko both happened but I took a shower to be clean for some clean skates

Also isn’t it crazy how Deniss is literally skating right before Yuzu man those world standings were a bit of a surprise at first Deniss Vasiljevs (jk my shower also overran his performance so I’m looking at the protocols rn but hey, good thing is my energy’s now conserved for GROUP 6!)

YESS NBC showing (at least part of) the warmup; Javi hits a BOSS 4S so smooth; Nathan’s smiling, Yuzu looks healthy! my god seeing all the faves on ice together warming up at the OLYMPIC stage is just *clutches chest* a lil’ too much for a casual Thursday evening; okay one more set of commercials and we are off to the RACES!!!

Yuzuru Hanyu TAKES THE ICE the first bars of Ballade a personal fave piece, breatheee, head roll, sway,ohmigod you could hear the sound of a pin dropping, come one quad sal to open...YES OH MY GOD NICE 13 POINTS!!! for that one element, great donut spin, 1 2 3 1 2 3 getting all of his levels ofc great character in spins timed to music, love the sound of his blades BLIND MOHAWK INTO 3A TRADEMARK HIT IT’S HAPPENING ONLY THE COMBO LEFT IS HE GONNA DO THE RIPPON ON THE END YES NICE HE HIT IT OH MY FUQQIN GOD THE POOHS THE OBAACHANS IN THE AUDIENCE THIS IS SERIOUSLY MAGICAL BEAT THAT WOWOWOW THE POOH BEARS RAIN DOWN AGAIN I have never seen so many thrown down at once at him DAMN; this is a true champion, my god yes yes YES!!!! my god I don’t know how get got that 3T WITH RIPPON out at the end lol Ghislain Briand and B Orser jumping; WORLD RECORD GIVE IT TO HIM NEVER DOUBT YU.ZU.RU. HAN.YU; BAM 111 triple ONES BEAT THAT YESS AND HE’S SMILING

OKay okay I gotta calm down for Nathan Chen the Poohs are cleared, yes this is a POTO costume but he looks good; GOD DAMN IT CAMERAMAN YOU MISSED THE FUQQIN DIP YOU HAD ONE JOB ARGHHHH, blade sounds are louder than YUZUS BUT HERE COMES THE 4LZ...OH SHIT MY GOD AND THE QUAD TOE JESUS FUCKING HELL IT WASN’T A COMBO either wow...I’m speechless..come one Nate finish it out finish it out OH FUCKING...33 TECHSCoRE?!?!?!?!?!? He’s still breathing though, looks alright, okay he’s still honestly so young and I understand he exudes this chill outlook which is great but all the pressure had to have gotten him (or he just got unlucky with this bad day :///) nerves?? I know there’s still the free skate left but I want him to walk away from all this feeling okay, not hating skating or anything and making a comeback (hopefully??) in Beijing and maybe having a Chloe Kim kind of moment OH FUQ 13th place 82+...my god

Mikhail Kolyada actually shaking his head after seeing Nathan’s scores we’re all shocked buddy; but skate well hit that sky-high lutz loving your mozart, come on come one; okay triple honestly I just don’t want to see any more thuds on the ice that’s good oh fuck...4T a goner out of the four disciplines this is the one that has the least assured gold medalist and maybe that’s contributing to the nerves? It’s okay Mikhail, your 3A was pretty, and YAY GOT A SMILEY SPASIBO y’know at the Olympics all I can hope for as a spectator is that everyone skates happy and goes as big and clean as possible and leaves happy or at least not too hard on themselves and I know that’s easy to say but so much of sports/life in general is psychological and it just pains me to think of how these guys might react to this under-delivered performances

Shoma Uno smolma please whisk us away with Winter, literally gonna bounce the fuq off of Shrooma if he lands everything please save this; NICE 4F, lines ofc can’t compete with Hanyu but you know...World Silver...he’s got the goods, get those clean edges, skating skills, stsq levels, okay 4T YES YES YES 3T great my god SHOMA SAVES THE TRIPLE AXEL PRAISE AWWWW THE SMILE!!!!! FUCKING MELTING FOR THIS DARK HORSE WHO BTW IS WORLD SILVER REIGNING, MY GOD THIS IS CLUTCH; AND HE HAS HIGHLIGHTS TAKE THAT BINCH, ugh I’m so conflicted right now with all of these flops and clean skates and my head is muddled guessing 106 okay okay lowballed the components gets a 104 also had to save a couple landings I get it but THOSE THUNDERTHIGHS SAVING THE DAY

Javier Fernandez oh please please please all I want is for you to bring home a medal GIVE US CHAPLIN GIVE US 4S AND 4T3T THIS IS YOUR CHANCE GO FOR IT, NICE ON THE COMBO, NICE 4S HOLY HELL ALSO SHOUTOUT TO MY MOM FOR RECOGNIZING THIS AS CHAPLIN U KNOW HE’S DOING HIS JOB and that AMAZING TRIPLE AXEL; so lovely oh my god this is beautiful, tbh I think my mom is actually falling in love with him “his costume looks so good on him O.O” she’s predicting he’ll win and my mom is like...never wrong so...okay tech score just exactly 60, I’m hoping 109 range oh my god GIVE HIM THE PCS IF NOT FOR HIM FOR MY MOM OH MY GOD

HYPING UP Jin Boyang for my mom okay come on GIVE US THAT CROUCHING TIGER MAGIC, LORI CHOREO DO UR FUQQIN $10K MAGIC, AMAZING 4LZ-3T, ONE OF THE BEST 4T, OG QUAD KING TARA MENTION THAT YES YES *DOES MERYL MEME POINTING FINGERS*, BEAT DRUM DROP, ERHU  YES THAT 3A OH MY GOD YES YES YES JIN GO GO GO YES THE KARATE HANDS IN THE SIT SPIN, WORD THE STSQ YOU’RE GETTING ALL OF THE LEVELS GO GO GO THIS IS YOUR LAST ELEMENT HIT THE POSES GET THE EDGES GET THE TURNS KICK TWIZZLES BUTTERFLY KICK YES FIST PUMP YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS MY GOD YES GIVE HIM A SCORE TO COMPETE WITH SHOMA 104+, okay okay I can work with 103.32

Okay wow so heading into the FS tomorrow: 

-Nathan, get that redemption skate, go big, go clean, love it, love yourself

-Yuzuru: bring that Seimei power, work your natural magic, be yourself, keep the intensity, and just let it flow

-Javi: VAMOS VAMOS VAMOS BE QUIXOTE, get your own redemption from Sochi (also lol I don’t think it matters what happens in the end but you’ve already won in my mother’s heart)

-Shoma: SHOOM SHOOM INTO OUR HEARTS EVEN MORE, channel your 2017 Worlds Diva moment, do it do it DO IT

-Boyang: BRING THE STAR WARS HIT US WITH THAT ANGELIC SAUCE

[relevy]

A-Z Book Recommendations.

What a great idea from my friend at @macrolit :) Had to give it a go. I’ve omitted “A’s” and “The’s” from most of the titles for sake of flow.

A - American Gods by Neil Gaiman - A wandering modern “fantasy” that felt keenly poignant to me having grown up in the midwest. You’ll need patience for this one but this book is truly about the journey not the destination.

B - Bloody Jack by L.A. Meyer - I’ll be honest, I never finished this series. It got a little overblown but the characters are so genuine that I held out a lot longer than I would expect of myself. This first book though is the definition of a classic middle reader. Lot of Adventure and a lovable, fierce, albeit flawed, female protagonist. 

C - Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess - I used to read this book every summer. It’s a rough read with some explicit violence (sexual and otherwise) but an important one I think. I recommend reading the “British” publishing which has 21 chapters (the publishers took out the last one for American audiences, because apparently we don’t like character redemption and growth *eyeroll*). The real genius of this book is the vernacular Burgess created from scratch that is truly like reading another language at first. 

D - Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab - Not to be cliche but I find that a lot of the titles Booklr obsesses over in the YA genre to be par-baked at best. Not the case with this series! Well developed characters that exist beyond their actions and exhibit real emotional complexity without relying on tropes and a plot that kept me turning and turning pages!

E - East by Edith Pattou - This is a remnant from my scholastic book fair days. It’s a frightfully easy read, however, her love for the folktale on which it is based (East of the Sun and West of the Moon) shines through. Each chapter is told by a distinct alternating voice and though the plot leaps about a bit you do not lose any sense of forward motion. 

F - Fly by Night by Frances Hardinge - At this point you’ve probably realized I love middle-reader books. There is also a pattern of relatable well written female protagonists in all of them. Not to be outdone the lead of this book is a stubborn young girl named Mosca and her equally prickly goose, who live in a fantasy setting based loosely on 18th century Britain. I won’t give anything else away except to say READ THIS BOOK!

G - Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson- I don’t exclusively read fantasy children’s books and here’s the proof. All of Larsson’s books are difficult to get into. Which can be put down to the fact that the first half of his reads are laying the complex groundwork for the gripping, fast paced, second half that will leave you gasping for air. 

H - The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien - If you go into The Hobbit expecting the verbose grandeur of LoTR you’re going to be sorely disappointed. This book was aimed much more at a younger audience and is far more light-hearted and comical than its more mature follow-ups. Nevertheless it still has the grand beauty of Tolkien’s imagination and I quite like the whimsy of his narrative style in this prequel. 

I - It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini - This book helped me understand aspects of my own struggle with depression and anxiety. It is heartfelt, raw, but most importantly not without hope. Vizzini committed suicide a few years ago, which leaves a bit of a cloud over the book but it is an important read for both those who struggle and those who care about them.

J - Jerusalem by Sami Tamimi and Yotam Ottolenghi - But Rachel this is a cookbook! Yes! Yes it is! But it’s also so much more than that. The entire thing is a love letter from the two authors who grew up, respectively, in the Jewish and Arabian communities of this complex city. Beyond the delicious recipes there is mouth-watering photography more akin to photojournalism than a traditional cookbook. Each section and almost each recipe is accompanied by an explanation of the historical and political machinations, tragedies, and cultures that led to its creation.

K - King Lear by William Shakespeare - Far and away one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. I dream of someday playing a gender-bent Lear. I find that this play in particular asks a lot of tough questions of its characters and they answer in frighteningly frustrating ways. “Tis the times’ plague, when madmen lead the blind.” 

L - Letter for the King by Tonke Dragt - This book is a cult classic. Originally published in Dutch in 1962 it has since been translated into twelve languages! This is a classic hero’s journey written in a loving, nurturing hand. 

M - Maresi by Maria Turtschaninoff - Maresi is a relatively new book that has flown totally under the YA Booklr radar. It has a vivid comparison to The Wizard of Earthsea series by Ursula K Leguin but is not a reproduction. The plot centers around an island of “sisters” in an intensely patriarchal world. The second book was just released so I suggest jumping on this bandwagon soon!

N - (The) Naming by Allison Croggon - I’m in the middle of rereading The Books of Pellinor series and I vividly remember now why they were the favorites of my High School years. Crogon writes in a simple elegance that must have been lovingly honed by years of reading Leguin and Tolkien. Another complex female protagonist in this one but written in 3rd person Omniscient (not fixed) narrative which is hard to find these days.

O - Once and Future King by T.H. White - I am an Arthur scholar and I will admit this is not my favorite Arthurian book (That’s Sword at Sunset by Rosmary Sutcliff). However, it is a necessary read for anyone who has interest in how modern fantasy came about in the US and the American obsession with King Arthur.

P - The Plucker by Brom - This is more of a graphic novel than a book. If you are a fan of Guillermo del Toro YOU WILL LOVE THIS. Imagine Toy Story except as a horror movie instead of playful animation. Brom is an exquisite illustrator and it’s worth it for the art alone. 

Q - I have literally nothing for this one! Ah!

R - Runaways by Brian K Vaughan - This is a graphic novel series about a group of teenagers who mistakenly find out their parents are part of a super-villain society. Being a Marvel comic there are cameos by familiar goodies and badies and the series itself takes many surprising twists. Characters of color and female characters are prominent! 

S - Seraphina by Rachel Hartman - Imagine if Dragons could take human form but were required by law to wear a bell to mark their otherness. Rather than set in a typical medieval setting, Seraphina takes place in a pseudo “classical” Europe setting with heavy emphasis on music. The characters and plot in this are flawless and I found it a refreshing, fun read.  

T - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee - This is one of the few books I was required to read in High School that I actually enjoyed. There’s a lot to be said for this timeless classic but the fact that it still remains relevant is really all that needs to be.

U - Under the Black Flag by David Cordingly - Albeit I read this book back when pirates were much more a pop culture phenomenon than they are now. However, if you like history, and pirates this is a great read for notable and notorious seafarers. 

V - V for Vendetta by Alan Moore - a graphic novel but truly a novel in its own right. I honestly prefer Watchmen but I feel Alan Moore is at his most Alan Moore-y in this one. No contest better than the movie.

W - Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K Leguin - The mythic style of these books can turn some modern readers off. Keeping with that there’s not as much character “development” as modern readers are used to. However, that being said these are some of the most compelling characters and books you will ever meet.

X - I came up dry on this one as well :(

Y - Y the Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan (Again!) - Imagine if all the men on earth died instantaneously except one slacker and his capuchin monkey. This graphic novel series could have gone way off the rails (as far as imagining what an all female dystopia would look like) yet Vaughan writes his female characters with a surprising nuance and depth. 

Z - Zel by Donna Jo Napoli - I read this in elementary school and WHOOO BOY I don’t know who approved that one for children’s shelves but it is definitely a mature retelling of the Rapunzel fairytale. Distinctive voices and no making it less gruesome than the original here. 

[angelic-writer]

Lost Memories (Redux) - Prologue

“Um...”

“Hello? Are you alive?”

“Oh, this is bad! If they find out we killed a human, we’ll get sent to Hell!”

“Relax! He’s not dead!”

The man slowly opened his eyes as he came to. Where he was at, he couldn’t explain. There was no floor, no ceiling, no walls, nothing. Just shimmering lights. Yet he wasn’t falling. It looked like he was... floating? Seven little kids were standing in front of him. The one in the center had dark, brown hair and black eyes. He was wearing a black shirt with gray stripes and blue shorts. He wore short socks and black shoes. He noticed that the man was awake.

“...Oh, you’re awake! How do you feel? Does it hurt anyone? Can you see us?” The boy asked as he checked the man’s body for any wounds. The man just stared at the boy, confused. What is going on?

“Thank God you’re alive! I was really surprised. I thought maybe we had killed you.” The boy with red hair and yellow eyes said. The man looked at the boy in a suspicious manner. He had a feeling that the kids were shady and were involved in some sort of business and so they were nice to him just to get what they wanted. The red-haired boy noticed.

“Oh! No, uh... W-We’re not in the least bit shady at all! Really!” He spoke as if he can read his mind. “It’s not like we hit you with a blunt object, or pushed you off a cliff, or ran you over with a car...”

“Alex!” The girl with blonde hair and purple eyes punched the red-haired boy in the arm, making him wince.

“Ha, ha... Hah... Um, so, to explain who exactly we are... Well, we’re just spirits who happened to lodge ourselves into your consciousness!” The boy with blonde hair and green eyes said.

The man just stared at them. No reaction. No emotion. Nothing.

“Nothing? No reaction to who we are... or to the situation you’re in now?” The red-headed boy asked.

“Hey, are you really okay? You can see us, right?” The boy with brown hair and blue eyes asked, concerned.

After a moment of silence, the man said this. “I see several... bug looking things.”

“B-Bugs?!” The red haired boy exclaimed.

“Well, I was a cute little bugger.” The brunette said. “Hey! You’re still a cute little bugger.” The boy with purple hair and magenta eyes said to the brunette.

“Um... You must mean that we look like pretty bugs! Like butterflies or dragonflies, right? Well, I’m glad you understand my “ant-tresting” fashion sense!” The red-head said. The other children looked at him with a look of disapproval. He noticed and chuckled nervously.

“That was terrible.” The blonde girl said.

“Anyway, I’m glad you can at least see us. Still, you’re really calm. I thought the moment you woke up, you’d be like, “W-What? Where am I?! Who are you people?!” or something like that, but... Wait. Your personality didn’t fly off with your memories, did it?” The blonde boy asked.

Again, the man said nothing.

“T-This is bad!” The red-haired boy said as he started to panic. “A-Alex, calm down! I’m sure his personality will come back.” The blonde girl said in an attempt to comfort him.

“W-Well, for now, let me explain things from the beginning. I’m Simon and these are my friends, Fredrick, Brian, Amy, Alex, Lance and David. We’re spirits from the afterlife. We were on our way to the human world for some business, and by accident, we sort of... collided... with your mind... I don’t understand it myself, but for some reason, we’re trapped inside your soul now. It looked like you lost consciousness from the impact. A-And, well... This is kind of hard to say, but... It kind of looked like your memories skedaddled, too! What a mess!” Simon explained.

Nothing. The man just simply stared at them.

“Sorry, go ahead and yell at us. I know Simon said a lot of things that probably don’t make sense to you. But, please say something!” Alex said.

“U-Um... I... don’t know where to start.” The man finally said.

“Yeah no, you’re right. We completely understand! Ha, ha...” Alex said, chuckling nervously, then looked down.

“We’re really sorry for our carelessness. We’ll do anything to help get your memories back. Besides, if we don’t, I’m not sure we’ll be able to separate from you. I’m not absolutely sure, but... I think we’re trapped inside the place where your memories used to be. Think about it like, your memories were pushed out by the amount of space we take up. So if your memories were to return, then we would get pushed back out instead. There might be another solution, but aside from what I just said, nothing comes to mind. I feel bad that we made you lose your memories. Let’s work together and try to get them back!” Fredrick said. The other kids nodded.

“A-Alright...” The man said.

“Alright!! Thanks for understanding. I kind of expected a “You better start running!”“ Alex said. Amy giggled. “I would’ve understood completely if you were that harsh with us.”

“You’re pretty accepting of things, huh? A very mellow temperament... It might be strange to say, but I’m glad it was your mind we got stuck in. Well... I guess that’s just how it is. From now on, we’ll work with you as hard as we can to get your memories back. We’ll do anything you need us to do. ...Is what I want to say, but we actually have some limitations. We can’t interfere with the human world. We can’t touch you and you can’t touch us. What’s more, people around us won’t be able to see or hear us. So we can’t investigate much for you, and we can’t move in your stead. In fact, we can’t move more than ten meters away from you! I said we’d do anything, but... But it looks like all we can really do is cheer you on.” Lance said, looking down.

“W-Well, it’s better than having no one, right? No matter what, we’ll always be on your side. I promise it won’t be like, “The culprits were the child spirits all along!”“ Amy said.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” The man said, smiling.

“Thanks. I’m happy you would say so. Ehehe. Then let’s do our best together!” Amy said, smiling back. Simon then looked at the man, concerned.

“So, you really can’t remember anything? What about your name? Do you think you can at least remember your name?” Simon asked.

The man closed his eyes and tried to remember. Nothing came up. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember a thing. Just as he was about to give up, he remembered someone calling out to him.

Someone calling out his name.

His name...

“E-Eric... M-My name is... Eric.” The man said.

“Eric...? Is that your name?” Simon asked.

“I think so.” Eric asked.

“I see, that’s good. It’s a good start to remembering! Alright then... There’s no point staying here, so let’s go back to your world.” Simon grabbed Eric’s hand and started walking when he stopped him.

“Wait! Um, before we go, I gotta ask... What is this place?” Eric asked.

“Hmm? What is this place, you ask? It’s hard to explain... The space between dimensions... That’s the closest description. This world has many possibilities. And there exist as many parallel worlds as there are possibilities. For example, in one world you may be going to school, and in another, you may be just working. This is the space between those many parallel dimensions that isn’t connected to any of them. To put it bluntly, right now you’re suspended in the rift between worlds. But... We don’t know which world you came from. Oh, but... Any world is a world that you were in. There’s no such thing as right or wrong with parallel worlds. So let’s go back to the world you were in, and recover your memories! There are lots of ways to do it, like talking to your friends, or looking at your phone’s history.” Simon explained.

“Oh, but just a sec. Be very careful of who you trust.” David said. Eric and Simon both looked at him.

“Why?” Eric asked.

“Humans are brutal and cruel beings. You should only tell people you really trust about your amnesia. Otherwise they might try to give you memories you’ve never had. Like, “You own me 10,000 dollars so you’d better pay me back,” or something. There’s no way you could tell if what they said was true, right? Some horrible girl might introduce herself as your girlfriend and take you away from your actual one. You might be told you don’t have a job, and then get fired later on. Or someone with no relation to you tricks you into joining a pyramid scheme! Or maybe you’d wind up in a situation where you find yourself being shipped off overseas! Right? It’d be terrible if that happened, right?” David asked.

“Uh, can’t I call the police?” Eric asked.

“Yeah, I see what you mean. But it’s not like the police know who you are, right? In that case... What would happen to you, then? If you said you had amnesia, wouldn’t they force you into a hospital? You’d probably be confined to your hospital room until your memories returned. Even if you were allowed outside sometimes, for the most part you’d be shut up inside, right? For other people, that might be okay, but for you, it isn’t! Your memories haven’t disappeared because of any mental or physical problems. They’re being pushed out by our existence. So staying home or at the hospital wouldn’t help. In fact, without stimulation, you’d just get worse. Sitting around, spacing out in the hospital room without any memories would worsen your mind. You might forget how to drink water, or even how to breathe! Advice to Avoid Such a Terrifying Ending... #1! Gather information! Try to actively meet people and investigate what kind of person you used to be. Who you, your family, and your relationships were, and what you were doing. Increase your knowledge and fill up that outer part of your memories. Once you do, I’m sure it’ll trigger something, and the rest of your memories should return. As that happens, we’ll be pushed out and eventually be able to separate from you. It’s a long shot, given our situation, but at the moment, it’s the best plan we have.” David looked down. “...Sorry. I keep talking about nothing but negative things.” He looked up at Eric. “But first... I think it would be good to confide in your family. They won’t believe that seven child spirits got stuck in your head, but they’ll at least provide some information. We can think more about the plan after that.” He said.

Simon nodded and looked at Eric. He smiled and offered him his hand. “Now, let’s go back to your world! The method is simple. Just close your eyes and think. With no memories to influence you, whatever world you can recall is the world that you desire. Only, I think there are several worlds like that... Choose the world that you feel is right.” He said.

Eric nodded and closed his eyes.

He is just a man with no memories. He had no idea what he was supposed to do, no idea where to go... He is lost. But, seven children came to help him and he is happy. Happy that someone was there to help him. He knows that he can trust them. As soon as he knows the people around him more, he will tell them too. He wants to get his memories back. Nothing more than that. His thinking is on that alone. And the children will help him no matter what. Even when they can’t move ten meters away from him and can’t interfere with the human world, he knows that they can still protect him if there is any danger. As he starts thinking of a world he feels is right, he starts thinking to himself.

“What will happen to me from now on? Will I get my memories back? Or will the task become impossible?”

He is then enveloped in a bright light.

((So, here’s the prologue! I hope you guys like it! :)

Eric Jefferson belongs to Cole Goodrich.

DS belongs to Mobox87 and Pole Bear.

FNAF belongs to Scott Cawthon.

Amnesia: Memories belongs to Idea Factory.))