#do u like the sheath on her leg
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heh cool V design from twitter I made
part of a request thing I did there I'll post a few more
#murder drones#md fanart#serial designation v murder drones#do u like the sheath on her leg#Vs actually my favorite in terms of drawing#shes really fun#V murder drones#Vision impaired V is funny and also cool#finger guns but real
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Imagine this: youre in college, and after all those boring classes you come to your job at the donaldsons that includes riding him in the couch for as long as your legs allow you.
Tashi just coming home to thats sight and just making herself a afternoon drink unbotherd.
Dbsnhxhsb
omg shut up???🥲
warnings; all smut not much plot, older!art, so much potential for this series aghhh
a/n; art is an ear freak i literally feel it in my balls he loves it when u suck on them ears (he did it to tashi so he likes doing it to others too <3)
the front door clicks and you wander through, in this teensy little white tennis dress that art told - no, commanded - you to wear when you came to work. the dress that shows the strain of your hard nipples through the fabric, swollen into points like diamonds, the one that slips upward and reveals the perky swells of your ass, the barely covered seam of your pussy when you trounce up to him, chirruping nonsense and smiling at him like he’s the only man in the world.
he murmurs something indiscernible - a pleased noise that reverberates at the back of his throat - and you lean over the back of the couch, sliding your manicured fingers across the expanse of his chest, chin tucked to his neck.
“hi.”
“hi, baby,” he murmurs in that low, rasping way that turns your insides molten.
fast forward no more than ten minutes, and you’re both bare, art’s thick fingers curled round your waist as he uses you as a fleshlight, lifting you up and down like a ragdoll and watching, entranced, as your cunt flares and parts for his thick cock; you sob and babble, slumped forward against his chest, nails digging into porcelain skin, teeth scraping along art’s cheekbone.
“i know, baby. i know,” he grunts, and you’ve never heard a sound like it. your cunt clenches, a soft silk wrap around his cock, and he’s turning his head to suck at the corner of your mouth, all spit and drool and tongue, so much of it that it drips from your chin, globs of it pooling between your tits.
the front door clicks and you’re both too lost in each other to care as tashi comes through the living room and enters the kitchen; art hooks one of his huge hands under the crease of your knee, lifting your leg until it’s draped over his forearm, bracing his feet against the leather of the couch as he jackrabbits up into you. you make a sound somewhere between a moan and a scream, and then tashi’s figure is crossing by you once more, drink in hand, lithe fingers nudging at your jaw to examine your expression. she bends at the waist, pinches your pert little nipple and rolls the bud between her fingertips, and smirks - fucking smirks - as your pussy clamps down on him like a vice; art lets out a stuttered breath, pulls you down onto him, and cums on the spot.
neither of you quit writhing against each other; he has at least another load in him, cock already chubbing back up encased in your spasming walls, no doubt an angry red and drooling precum. tashi settles herself on the armchair opposite you, already disinterestedly flicking through tv channels.
“want my mouth on you,” you whisper, face pressed just below his jaw, breathing hot air onto his neck.
“in a minute, baby,” he supplicates, grunting as he sheathes himself further into your tight warmth, balls heavy and swollen and slapping against your ass with every filthy rock of his hips.
tashi crosses one leg over the other, the picture of boredom, and says, “bite his ear. he loves that shit.”
you do just that, teeth rolling over his lobe as you suck the sensitive skin into your mouth.
he almost cums again, hands sliding up and over your back to still your movements so he doesn’t blow his load right there.
oh, tashi’s going to have fun with you. mould you into a perfect little toy for her husband, take some of his intense, fervent pining off of her, let you be the center of his world so she can focus on improving his game.
she might even keep you if you’re lucky.
#love letters#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson smut#art donaldson x you#art donaldson x tashi duncan#art x reader#art donaldson drabble#art donaldson fic#art donaldson fluff#art donaldson fanfiction#art x you#challengers film#challengers movie#challengers fic#challengers fanfiction#challengers x reader#challengers x you#art donaldson#tashi duncan#tashi duncan x reader#tashi duncan x you#tashi x art#tashi x reader#art challengers#challengers#writers on tumblr#writer#writing#writing for fun#art 🎾
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Drowning Achilles while brutally using him slapping his hand away when he tries to touch himself pressing him under the water harder when he tries to go up to catch his breathe leaving him on the bathroom floor tied up
I saw u say something about drowning sex in the Ajax abuse request
🐀
cw;; drowning, rough sex, vomiting (kind of), abuse, violence, dark content, dead dove do not eat
tbh there's this one scene in this horror movie "would you rather" and like its not a great movie it's just essentially torture porn but like there's this scene where this pretty goth girl has to hold her breath underwater for 4 minutes and it changed my brain chemistry when I first saw it.
you had one of his arms held behind his back for leverage to jack hammer your cock deeper into him while your other hand was forcing his face into the bathtub. he was clearly loving it; he had been play fighting so far, pretending to struggle and fight so you had to keep him in his place but the lack of oxygen was starting to get to him. his greedy hole was tightening as it started to get hard to breathe and his legs shuffled and kicked, not enough.
you pulled his head out of the water and he was gasping. you took the opportunity to bury yourself completely in his tight hole, fully sheathed in his boy cunt. you tugged at his pretty hair until his head rested against your shoulder.
"chilles, not gonna pull you back up until you're full of cum. let's hope you don't die, huh fucktoy?"
his head was clearly already dizzy from what you'd done so far and he could just nod weakly. he took a few more deep breaths before you finally plunged his head back into the cold water.
his thin hand reached between his thighs and started to wrap around his cock. oh the little slut was asking to be drowned today. you grabbed his hand hard enough to bruise as you fixed them both behind his back in a rough grip. his entire body shook as your new handles made it easier for you to go even rougher.
your cock was trying to punch the air out of him with every deep thrust that pressed right into his sweet spot. he couldn't keep holding his breath for much longer already. his hands started to push against the edge of the tub while his feet started to kick and push trying in vain to pull himself back. you kept the brutal pace in his pretty cunt moaning at the way his body clenched so tight in panic. water began to splash up and spill over the tub as he tried to move his head above water.
"you- ngh- filth-filthy fucking slut you- fuck- you're loving this so much huh?" each word accentuated with a grunt and the sound of your skin slapping together.
"you wanna fu-fucking die today? wanna die ta-taking daddy's co-cock like a- ngh- whore~"
god the way he clenched around you told you everything you wanted to know. you were getting close, your pace slowed as his fighting got even rougher. he was pounding his hands against the tub, legs flailing, body tightening. and with a few long thrusts deep into his tight cunt you spilled ropes and ropes of thick cum into him. his body just started to lose its vigor when you finally pulled his head out.
you watched achilles take deep gasping breaths his eyes rolling back and his cock twitched between his legs. he came untouched on the bathroom tile. just from almost dying. you let him keep taking deep breaths as you released his arms and started to kiss his neck.
"filthy. you're so fucking filthy." you kissed and bit his neck to praise him for his good job as you gave a few more slow thrusts into his messy ass.
achilles sat up properly moving into your lap while he clutched his chest. he was clearly dizzy and out of it, his pretty blue eyes were blank like you'd sucked the life out of them. you almost had. you watched in amusement as his whole body twitched and he came against, spilling cum on his stomach this time.
"hey that's not fair~ you're a fucktoy you're not supposed to cum more than me." you bit at his neck not expecting a reply.
"sssorryyy" he slurred through gasping breaths, his head lulling against your shoulder.
his pretty eyes started to close so you slapped his face. "don't go falling asleep now. you're not done."
you let out a little moan and blinked his eyes open sleepily. once it looked safe like he wasn't going to pass out you shoved him off your cock and onto the bathroom tile. he gasped and whimpered in surprise but you just ignored him, instead grabbing a towel and wiping off your body that he had gotten wet.
you nudged him with your foot so he was looking back at you. "get this shit cleaned up and come to my office for round 2."
you kicked him as hard as you could in the stomach making him cough up water and start gasping for air again. for good measure you gave him another kick. and another. and one more. his stomach already showing signs of bruising as tears started to well up in his eyes.
"fffhaaank youuuu"
#replies#yandere oc#sub yandere#yandere x male reader#top male reader#male reader#dom male reader#yandere crime lord#🐀 anon
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Hellooo, would u be able to do a sevika or butch logan (don't mind who) reacting to the reader pulling a knife on them in a fight?Please and thank you ❤️
yes omg !! i love ur loki pfp btw 💚
lemme get a small sevika fic on here before s2 comes out tmrrw !! :3
wlw nsfw >> no smut :c …this time
🔪 but she would DEFINITELY look at you like this vvv

»»----------►
⊳ “ready for round 2?”
⊳ you groan in frustration as you push sevika off your body onto the floor next to you. she chuckles and rolls to her side, leaning up on her elbow to look down at you.
⊳ “you’re a jerk,” you grumble, clearly pissed off over how your muscular girlfriend successes every time you train together.
⊳“are you mad at me, beautiful?”
⊳ of course not. how could you be? you’re just frustrated with yourself. as one of silco’s newest guards, you have to improve on hand to hand combat in order to protect him and your fellow colleagues. you enjoy your new job—it comes with the privilege of getting to see your girlfriend every day, but the tasks do take a toll on your strength. that’s why you need to work both smarter and harder.
⊳ you pout at sevika and stand up, pulling up the waistband of your grey sweatpants and smoothing out the fabric of your black compression shirt. sevika herself wears wrist wraps and a black sports bra — and god, she just loves distracting you with peeks of her boxers when she “adjusts” her own baggy sweatpants. her toned abs are on full display and framed by her deep v-line. her short, dark hair is pulled back into a tight bun while a few wisps fall against her gorgeous, scarred face. has it been mentioned her appearance distracts you?
⊳ “let’s just go again,” you huff as you shake out your wrists and prep yourself into a defensive stance.
⊳ sevika’s movements are just as quick as before, but this time, you’re quicker. she is taller, stronger than you, but not by much. it takes a moment, but you find her fighting pattern. her jabs and punches are soon dodged by your swift motions, and by the time she processes your leg sweeping her feet out from under her, her back hits the wooden floor and a groaned curse leaves her lips.
⊳ the wind has been knocked out of her, but you know that’ll only fuel her attitude to not take things easy on you. before she can catch her breath, you pin her to the ground, straddling her hips and holding her flesh wrist down above her head. in your free hand, you lift a beautiful, black knife made with serrated steel against her neck.
⊳ “i win,” your chest heaves with exasperation. you announce your triumph as if sevika isn’t literally under your panting body, but you want her to admit it. she needs to admit it or else it didn’t happen in her mind. “i fucking won, say it.”
⊳ she seems surprised at first, your boldness catching her off guard before she zones out to admire the sight above her. sweat coats your flushed skin, baby hairs stick to your face, and you can’t help but breathe into her mouth. she loves every aspect of this perfect position — both of you feeling trapped in this moment yet more than satisfied with never wanting to leave it.
⊳ her widened eyes then narrow as she looks at the blade against her neck, then up at you — and she can’t help but chuckle softly at her own dirty thoughts. “where’d y’ find this little trinket?”
⊳ you smirk above her, that glint in your eye forming once you realize she likes this. because of course she does. you tilt your head slightly, studying her gaze as if she’s waiting for you to take things further and commit to taking the control you’ve worked so badly for. “got it jus’ for you. why?”
⊳ she looks back down at the blade, her smile widening before returning eye contact again. “’s nice… almost makes me wanna let y’ win.”
⊳ her words settle in as you watch a bottle of shimmer pump through the gears and wires of her mechanical arm. you move fast to pin one of your knees against the geared surface of her shoulder and sheathe the thin knife through her robotic wrist and into the floor without a moments’ hesitation. the magenta, vibrantly-drugged liquid bubbles and spurts out of sevika’s machinery, the gears whirring for only a moment before hissing in defeat.
⊳ it doesn’t hurt her, she can’t feel a thing, but that doesn’t stop you from realizing the weight of the action you took. with how advanced it is, sevika’s robotic limb takes time to adjust, fix, upgrade, etc. and when training/fighting with anyone, she only uses a small dose of shimmer as a last resort. but now that the arm is useless and her body is pinned under you, your girlfriend is now completely at your mercy.
⊳ although the thought doesn’t settle as nicely as it usually would. especially when her eyes briefly look over the mechanics in the prosthetic, seeing slight steam rise from the misplaced gears in her wrist. oops. you remove your hand from the knife yet the blade keeps her pinned to the floor, unless she were to remove the prosthetic altogether. her eyes return up to you, playful yet there’s a slightly warning, piercing glare. a further intention.
⊳ naturally, guilt first washes over you for the amount of repairs your girlfriend will have to make. but she isn’t mad, you know that. she doesn’t need to say a word. however, she now looks forward to using this as an opportunity to make show of punishing you. you know that as well, and lift your hands in surrender.
⊳“i’ll fix it…”
»»----------►
sorry this is kinda rushed^^ note for pt 2!!
manifesting happy ending for sevika in s2 🙏🙏✨✨✨ requests are open my lovelies and if you’ve sent one, i haven’t forgotten about you!! i have lots of works in the drafts rn and hoping to get them all out asap <3
-🐝
#sevika#sevika x reader#bee#maneskinwh0re#lesbian#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#wlw ns/fw#wlw yearning
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imagine Lu with a gf who has a cat. The cat would like hate everyone new she met but him, he has that aura … if u will that gives hes so friendly with animals. Like I know he is one with nature, especially with those big ass feet of his in the wilderness 😭💗💗
BIG ASS FEET OF HIS IN THE WILDERNESS 😭 IM LOSING ITTTTT he be fe fi fo fumming out there
but YEAH this is exactly how it plays out in my head. like when you invite him over for the very first time you have to give him a warning. you’re like “hiiii so this is my sweet precious baby… but um do not pet her because she will most likely attack you. don’t take it personal. yes she is still a sweet precious baby!!!” and he’s like yaaa okay. believes you but also he has probably never met an animal that didn’t like him
and you really don’t expect your cat to warm up to him at all bc they are so choosy and you can’t force them to like a person!! like you’d be so used to people trying to pet your cat and her just biting and scratching them right away.
but then… lo and behold… you and lu are sitting on the couch. and your cat approaches him. you are staring DAGGERS at him and her. hoping she doesn’t embarrass you by sheathing her claws. also hoping that luigi doesn’t instigate anything bc cats have boundaries and people never respect them!!! and then suddenly?? she is just rubbing up against his legs?? and he reaches his hand out to her and she bunts her little head up against him. you’re literally so speechless because it’s never happened before. and then after a few minutes of her doing that, she jumps right up into his lap. you’re staring at them so confused because she’s purring, acting like she’s known him forever.
later at night when you two are about to fall asleep, she comes right into bed with you. purring crazy and curling up on his chest. and luigi says “i can’t lie, i’m a little confused? i thought you said she was unfriendly?”
you go “yeah…she is…usually…” and lu is just like 🤗😄 “she must sense that we are kindred spirits” just beaming so proudly
but it really makes you giddy because yeah his aura is just that perfect that ur cat knows he’s trustworthy <3
side note: he definitely gives himself the title of “cat dad”. like when you guys have been together for a while he just starts referring to himself as your cat’s dad. when he’s giving her treats and she’s meowing like crazy he talks about himself in third person to her and says stuff like “i’m sorry, your dad is trying to open the bag but it’s stuck, give him a moment.” and then he does the same for you. if your cat is bothering him for treats but he’s already given her probably way too many he tells her “go ask your mother. i don’t want her to scold me again for over feeding you” 😭
#luigi mangione thoughts#asks#also how did u get pink text???#im so curious and fascinated ???#luigi mangione x reader
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cinema —orc
—summary: You find something much more interesting to do than watch the movie with your orc date. // AO3 // monster masterlist
—cw: monster x human, smut (p in v sex), semi-public sex, exhibitionism (if you squint really hard), creampie, size difference
—wc: 1k
“Cinema is dead,” you declare dryly, head resting against your date’s bicep. The orc sitting on your right chuckles and u feel the vibration under your cheek. The woman on the movie screen moans, arches her back as the camera oh-so artistically obscures her nude body from the spectators. It’s an atrocious movie, how anyone ever signed off on garbage like this being produced on a huge budget, you’ll never understand, but…
You press your thighs together, swallow around the tightness in your throat. Heat pools between your legs, clings to your panties as you imagine the phantom touch of the naga on the screen on your own skin; large warm hands sliding down your body, prodding, poking, groping. Or maybe your orc date. His hands are large and sturdy, fingers thick. Your cunt could probably accommodate only two of them. You dare a glance at him from the corner of your eye. It’s hard to see in the dark but you’re pretty sure his gaze is nailed to the screen, one hand resting on your thigh, the other on his lap, and — oh.
“You need some help with that?”
But you don’t wait for his answer and sit up, throw your leg over his lap. His thighs are thick, legs spread, and you grind down against the bulge in his jeans. He hisses under his breath. His large hands come to rest on your hips, push your pelvis flush against his, and drag you over the length of his cock. You stifle your moan. He’s big, so big.
You feel down his torso until you meet the cool metal of his belt buckle and busy your fingers with undoing the clasp. He rolls his hips, grinds the tent in his pants against your slick-drenched panties. When his belt releases, you hurry to unbutton and unzip him and tug his already hard cock out of his boxers.
You can barely see it in the dark, so you wrap your hand around it, fingertips barely brushing around his girth, and give it an experimental pump. He’s long and thick, so thick, throbbing in your hand. You run your thumb over the slit on the head, gather it on the pad of your thumb, and bring the finger to your lips, wrap your tongue around it. He moans, loud — too loud — and you almost slap your hand over his mouth but he moves first, his grip on your hips heavy as he pulls you forward.
Your thighs strain when you stand onto your knees, one hand tugging your panties to the side, the other on his cock to angle yourself. The blunt tip drags through your folds, nudges your throbbing clit and you nearly lose your composure. You pause when he presses against your entrance, not quite in yet.
“Just —”
“Yeah, yeah,” he says and pushes the tip in. A stifled moan gets stuck in the back of your throat. Every ridge and groove, every vein of his cock drags against your insides so sweetly. Your exhale is drawn out as you adjust to his size, and blink rapidly to keep the tears at bay. He catches your eye through the blur in your vision, his mouth tilted into a grin, and abruptly pulls you down, sheathes you onto his cock like a fleshlight. Your mouth drops open, a lewd moan escapes and you swear you see stars. He’s thick, deep. You grind down against him with a whimper, grind your clit against his pelvis.
The orc throws his head back with a groan and bucks his hips into you once. But it’s shallow, offers very little friction. His chest is rising and falling with deep breaths as if he’s trying to pull himself together and you frown, pull away slightly, and sink back down. The stretch is heavenly, the way he drags against you hits every spot he’s supposed to —
The grip on your hips tightens, blunt nails sinking into your skin as he abruptly pushes you back and pulls you back in just as quickly. Your thighs connect with a sharp smack that reverberates through the empty theater room. You don’t — can’t — stifle the moan that escapes you and he stets a pace you couldn’t even imagine keeping up with but you try. You flail your arms, manage to grab onto his shoulders, and plaster yourself against him, open cleavage right in his face. He immediately thrusts back into your hot, wet, dripping pussy, presses his face deeper into your tits, slides his hot tongue across your skin.
He grows frenzied all at once, pistons into you with bruising force, rips a pathetic wail from your throat that you nearly choke on. The sound of skin slapping against skin bounces off the walls of the empty theater and echoes back into your ears. It’s lewd, so lewd and you gush around him more, so wet, so hot, beads of sweat dotting your skin.
You cum, gush on his cock, hips stuttering and he takes over, wraps his large, sturdy hands around your waist, and fucks up into you — fleshlight, you’re just a tiny human fleshlight to stuff full of cum. The mere thought of that almost sends you over the edge again right then and there, vision blurring, ears ringing. You let your body tip forward, his blunt tusks prodding against the soft flesh of your tits, let him brutalize your pussy with his big cock because it’s too hard to think, to form a coherent thought.
The orc’s movements stutter abruptly, and he pulls you down against him, buries himself deep inside your hot pussy with a loud grunt. His cock twitches, floods you with his seed.
All at once, you feel like dead weight on top of him. Your arms and thighs and hips and pussy ache. Cotton fills your head and you take a moment to re-orient yourself after your orgasm, to let the world around you come into focus. The stale scent of movie theater popcorn, the whine of the leather seat under your combined weight. The body under yours panting, chest heaving, hot breath caressing your breasts.
Reality slams back into you and you nearly jump out of your skin when someone clears their throat behind you. The room is quiet, the lights are on. The front desk clerk is standing by the door with a mop in his hands.
Oh.
Oops.
banners by @/cafekitsune
#monster x reader#monster x human#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#teratophillia#monster x you#orc x reader#orc x human
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── 𝜗𝜚 billy’s girl 𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘥



⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ summary: 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 & 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ warnings: 𝘷𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘮, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ wc: 913
it me… your fave bi-yearly poster… if u have sent me an ask i am so sorry much love. first billy post tho god bless isn’t he beautiful
you got fresh & bold. that was your mistake.
“keep your eyes open.” billy commanded to you lowly, accented by the grip and tug of one of his gunpowder fragranced hands harsh on your jaw, forcing you to face the room, disregarding your pitiful, crumbling whines. “don’t even think about closin’ em. i’ll know. watch them.”
you could feel his sharp gaze slide to you, soaking up every twitch in your brow, quiver of your lips, jerk of your hips atop his lap, - but most of all, making sure you were obeying; keeping those (watery) ‘big, purty angel eyes’ on your audience.
billy’s nimble fingers slide between your soaked folds, spreading them wide enough for every man around the table to see how pathetically you clenched and creamed for him. he glides over your clit, again, and again, and again, and for a moment your struggling moans are all that fill the air, clinging to the tension of every man’s resistance to acting on their own arousal.
“ain’t she the prettiest little thing you ever seen, boys?” he spoke louder now, leading the room in this display as easily as he led them into battle.
“billy,” you whisper, shamefully, uncontrollably rolling your hips into his hand. the whole night you had only been desperate to be alone with him, and he punished you by withholding exactly what you needed in the cruelest way. you hear him sigh, slow & hot against your neck, sense how his eyes close in the slightest moment of weakness as he grinds his erection into the curve of your backside, just out of reach of where you craved it most.
still you whimper aloud at the feeling of it, expose yourself as nothing more than a filthy whore for him as you maneuver in any way you can to, by some kind of miracle, get him inside you.
with a heavy inhale his attention regrettably tears from you,
back to the men watching the whole scene play out.
his gaze is cold, devoid of life except the occasional mischievous glint in his eye, and his jaw is tight,
“y’all answer me,” his left hand leaves your jaw and drops to hang on the neckline of your dress. your breasts shake and threaten to fall free with every breath and whine, legs tremble with every swipe up through your folds and quick glide across your sensitive pearl, but billy’s eyes are steady on those of each man before him.
“who wants to see how pretty the rest of her is?” just then his finger sheaths inside you, fucking right into that perfect, deep spot that numbed your legs and arched your back with the ease of a key unlocking the door it was crafted for.
some of them try to hold eye contact with him, terrified of the repercussions of letting their eyes linger somewhere billy decided they shouldn’t. he welcomed them to look, encouraged them even, but even his most enthusiastic invitation struck them like a deal with death.
the rest greedily drink up every visible centimeter of your sweaty, flustered skin, knowing they’d never again be privy to such a scene.
but none of them dare to speak.
billy’s soft, ominous laugh sends a chill down your spine. “what do you think, doll?” he speaks to you, but still he watches in wait for one of his friends to crack. but with the way he fucks you, the way his palm rocks against your clitoris, skillfully working you toward your orgasm, you know you aren’t off the hook.
“think they’d take turns fuckin’ you if i gave ‘em a chance?”
his voice is raw with the growing weight of his own arousal, and the distant fog of his exasperation with your earlier antics that sparked it. “look at ‘em,” he’s whispering in your ear, holding you flush against him, forcing you to feel every twitch of his hand. “droolin’, squeezin’ their cocks in their pants, cause of you. they all want a taste of billy’s girl.”
your crystal-shattering tell-tale whimpers and spasming hips convince billy to gift you a break.
“i got news for you boys,” he speaks up, turning his gaze back to you, not capable of taking the chance of missing the sight of your face as you orgasm, should your pleasure take you over before he intended it.
“she won’t have any of you, no. cause she belongs to me. ain’t that right, doll? none of them can do what i can, can they?” his one hand glides up your chest to gently grasp your cheek, bringing your (beautiful, obedient) eyes to his.
“that’s why you’ll wait on me as long as it takes, won’t you? you’ll feel good when i say so, won’t you?”
so close to cumming, all you can see is billy, the rest of the room fading from your mind as it faded from your sight. you nod, viciously, desperate to please him, desperate to win your orgasm, but by the waiting look on his face, it isn’t enough. “yes, yes, billy,” you croak, voice hoarse and broken as your body is wracked.
“i’m yours, i’m yours,” you chant, praying for sweet release. he was right, after all, nobody could do to you what he could. he knew it, and he knew how badly you needed it.
and just to prove it to you, with a deep, grumbling sigh like a man thrice his age, he took his hand from your cunt.
cruel ending???? i’m so sorry. also sorry if there’s typos it’s 3am <3
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that strange, strange guardian; f!guardian x crow ficlet;
i was thinking about Crow meeting the Guardian for the first time and maybe getting a little.. pining :) so I wanted to write that for him and my Hunter Cherish! also on ao3
Crow finds himself a ruin to perch on, legs swung off the ledge. He squints in the warm afternoon glow and pulls the hood down his head, letting the light bathe him. It is a place miles away, figuratively and literally, from the Spider's dim lair, away from its oppressive walls and reminders of his duty.
For the first time in the whirlwind of the past few days does Crow have the time to ruminate on all that's happened. Finding Osiris, lightless and in danger, fighting the Celebrant, meeting… a Guardian. The Guardian.
Crow expected plenty of things to follow after. To have her rage at him, to have her throw her knives, to feel the pierce of a bullet from her hand cannon and its horrible grating as the last sound he hears before succumbing to a temporary death.
She recognized him, there was no doubt of it.
But no matter how cautiously he waited, none of that came to be. Her knives stayed sheathed, her hand cannon at her hip. She talked about the hunt and asked about the Spider.
She… smiled. And laughed at his joke when he attempted to crack one to break the ice. Her laughter was odd and hoarse, as if she'd long forgotten how to do it.
And when the time came, she left with a casual promise to come see him soon again. How soon is soon, Crow wondered?
A cloud passes high in the sky, hiding the light momentarily. It draws Crow out of his sleepy contemplation, and instead he pulls out his knife, balancing it clumsily on the tip of his finger.
“Glint?”
“Yes, Crow?”
“That Guardian we met… Do you know her?”
“Not personally, but I know of her. She's quite the character.”
“Mhm?”
“She's the Young Wolf! She fought Oryx and Ghaul and U- uhh, so many others,” Glint supplies with excitement. “She's the real deal.”
“So I noticed.”
Really clever, really brave and… really pretty.
Crow considers, bringing up the memory of that woman, with her bright blue eyes that stared at him in wonder. Or in concern, Crow finds he is not able to tell. But there was more in her gaze, a certain pain, tiredness, deepened by the shadows beneath her eyes. Like she's seen things she would rather forget.
And when she looked at him… Puzzled? Concerned? He could not tell.
Crow does remember the Guardian wielding a power unlike anything he's seen before in his young Guardian years. So used the Crow is to Solar power, or to the nothingness of the Void, or the sharpness of Arc. But this? There was an aura of ice and cold around that Guardian. She threw sharp knives with precision, her armour coated with blue when the battle angered her, manifesting in a storm of cold. As if she became winter itself.
The cloud above passes, and again the world is warm in the embrace of light. Soon, Crow would have to make his way back to the Tangled Shore and wipe the smile from his face and stuff his dreams elsewhere, where the Spider would not possess them.
“Do you think the Guardian really wants to work with me?” he asks cautiously, balancing the knife for a moment longer, watching it flicker with sunlight.
“Of course! Her Ghost has already sent me some intel for our Celebrant hunt.”
That small link, yet so meaningful. Crow sheathes the knife, rising to meet the setting sun. He feels his chest breathe easier, the clasp of loneliness having left him.
The Guardian wants to work with him. And she likes his jokes! And maybe selfishly, Crow hopes that his company would soothe away whatever pain has put those deep shadows beneath her eyes.
#destiny 2#destiny 2 fanfiction#guardian x crow#yw x crow#young wolf x crow#fanfiction#driftcreates#cherish
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Hi!! I was wondering if u could do smth ab Richard sterling x servant/butler g/n reader!! What can I say …I like my men a little 😈
I saw lady richard and god her boob I mean her knightness.... ngl I love this guy so much that no matter what body he has he just so vbhfvbhfhbfvbhvfb I'm normal
Rated: Explicit | Warning: fem!richard, male reader, oral (woman receiving)
“Such a good puppy,” Her praises are smooth but lack sweetness, “Hm, oh, you are becoming better at this.” Her nail combing through your hair before she gets her grip and firmly tugs on it pulling you closer than you already are to her cunt. “Yes, good boy.” Tossing her head back with a breathless laugh as your hands on her soft plush thighs squeeze to the point she is going to delight in the buries— A perk of her body easily bruising— She moans out her princess’ name as she cums with a cute squeal and whine, “Don't bloody stop, yes, more!” You keep feasting on the essence of her quim, her cum sweet as to be expected from a narcissistic woman obsessed with her appearance and princess.
You get to pull away only when you start using your fingers, three knuckles deep; her legs release their hold locking you between her thighs. Take a deep breath as you watch her cum on your fingers, her hands gripping the fabric of your butler’s coat, her face so beautiful you almost forget how terrifying this woman is. How obsessive and possessive she is of her princess and you, her loyal dog to fetch and roll over at her whim.
“Take me, Bedivere, now!” Richard is desperate and will not be satisfied until you give her everything you have.
“Yes, milady.” Pulling out your fingers and lifting her up before laying her on the bed.
“You could've taken me on the couch,” Grinning as you open your pants, “Such a gentleman.” Teasing you for always having her on the bed when possible. You say nothing which has her pout for a second as you are selective about when to speak. “Go on, sheathe your sword within me, my knight.”
You raise an eyebrow before suddenly turning her around, snatching her by her hips, a smooth sharp thrust into her gripping the sheets and saying the name she gave you.
“So… Brutish, ah ha, Bedivere!” You know how to have her mind scrambling for words, “Ah!” A moaning mess as her arms are used to hold her in place as you thrust into her at a quick and deep pace. She knows you are trying to end this quickly before returning to your duties. There is shopping and picking-up deliveries to be done before it is too late in the evening to travel safely.
“Your voice, milady.”
“Fuck!” Her hair is a wild mess that bounces with each movement, her breasts rubbing against the sheets, and her mouth open letting her voice. “Good puppy! Oh, puppy touch me.”
“As you wish, mistress Richard.”
#idv#reader insert#identity v x reader#idv x reader#identity v x you#identity v#idv x you#knight x reader#knight x you#richard sterling#richard sterling x reader#richard sterling x you#anon ask
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politely requesting possessive sex with melo and hex where they fucking fight over the reader and try to get her to say their name instead of the other please i am so feral for them


Author's note: whore 🤡🤡🤡 bro said I'm taking two at once that's crazy (btw I tried to make it longer for u but yk I suck)
Summary: possessive sex with lady meloco and sir hex who are in a damn competition to see who's name comes out your mouth first bc siblings are like that
Contains: nsfw content, possessiveness, praise, x fem reader, meloco x reader x hex, disgusting and pathetic smut again, very tiny degrading, 2 rounds, blowjob, pussy eating etc None of my works are proofread my kitten whiskers
You didn't exactly remember how you got in this position, sat in front of a mirror and being forced to watch as MELOCO KYORAN plays with your bundle of nerves, while you sit impaled by HEX HAYWIRE's girth with the occasional thrust up into your core that made you see stars.
"You feel good, pretty girl?" Melo asks with a small pinch that makes you whine in response. "Awww, so cute. Only I could ever get those noises out of you."
The last sentence targeted at Hex who simply scoffs. And with a thrust, you slap a hand over your mouth with a moan. "Sure, you can get her to whimper and whine, but i can get her to moan."
Melo glares at Hex, who glares back. You could feel the tension start to rise in the room, and sweat behinds to collect on the back of your neck. You would know what happens next.
Both start leaving marks and kisses down your soft throat, not even going easy on you. The harsh bites left you gasping, face reddening as they suckle on your flesh, all the while seeming to growl at each other like territorial animals. You couldn't do much about it, since it was they who could decide when you can cum. Melo was still toying with your clit, the incoming orgasms slowly approaching.
"Well if you think you can such sounds out of her, can you get her to say your name?" Melo cooes, massaging your clit at a faster rate.
You choke back a sob, resting your head back onto Hex's back. A low groan escapes his lips as he feels you squeeze around cock. Just as you feel the knot in your stomach about to snap, her fingers pulls away.
"I can get her to say my name before yours," Hex declares, the reason why Melo's fingers were now in the air and not in between your legs was him, who at the very last second snatched it away. Your essence dripped down her fingers and Melo jerked her hand out of his grip, sticking a tongue out at him before licking up the juices.
"Please..." you plead softly, squirming on the therapist's lap.
"Oh... fuck, princess give me a second," Hex whispers in your ear, before rising to his feet and bringing you with him. The sudden movement against your sensitivity causes you to whine in slight protest.
In a flash, the exorcist takes her place before you, squishing you in between the two student council members. One of her hands cups your bare breast, her thumb brushing over the hardening nipple and the other back to your swollen cunt. Hex still deep inside, chuckles in your ear.
"She was mine first, I set my eyes on her first," Melo says, narrowing her eyes at Hex.
"Well, you weren't the one who made the first move, did you now?" Hex counters, with a roll of his hips. Your eyes flutter shut, trying to suppress any noises from further slipping.
"Well, i touched her first!"
While they were bickering back and forth, your core drips onto the floor, embarrassingly so. Still sheathed in Hex's cock with occasional thrusts and Melo's ministrations on both your clit and nipple, only amplified the rejected orgasm. You begin panting like a bitch in heat, bucking into either with a soft whimper.
"What's wrong pretty girl?" Melo suddenly asks, her hand now tilting your chin up to look at her as tears form in your eyes. "Aww, you want to cum right?" You nod desperately. "Maybe if you moan my name first, I'll let you cum first."
Hex practically rolls his eyes back into his skull, slowly exiting your entrance before slamming hard back into you, his hands tight on your hips to keep you from falling forward. You cry out, gripping onto the excostist's shoulders for stability.
"Cmon love," Hex says into your ear, hands traveling your sides. "Say my name."
"No, say mine."
Your breaths get heavy as both begin to fuck into you at the same time, Melo trapping your mouth in a passionate kiss as Hex takes possession of your throat once more. His slow thrusts into you and her skilled fingers rubbing circles against you.
"She's mine," Hex growls at his classmate, slapping your ass to make you squeal against her lips.
"No, she is not!" Melo argues, bending down slightly to pop a nipple into her mouth. Your eyes roll back from the immense pleasure growing in the base of your stomach. You grip Melo's hair to press her further into you, and you reach up to Hex's face to caress it shakily.
Both seem to pause for only a moment, realizing you refusing to pick a side.
"What a naughty naughty girl you are," Melo tsks, drawing away from your swollen nipple. "Come on, cum for me."
Hex's shoves himself deep into you, nearly brushing against your cervix. "Cum for me too, darling."
Your cries increase in volume as you throw your head back against the taller, panting and moaning as the two make quick work of you. In a matter of seconds, the cord inside you snap as you released hard all over both Melo's hand and the therapist's length. Even more of your essence dripped onto the floor.
The two of them pull away, Hex's girth slowly dragging against your walls as he holds you upright. Melo cleans of her fingers, eyeing you like a cat would a mouse.
"Kneel," both the therapist and exorcist says in unison.
You look between them in a half dazed, half confused state. "...what?"
"On the floor, princess," Hex repeats, pushing down on your shoulders so you naturally give in, sitting in your own puddle of arousal. He moves to stand in front of you, his cock right in your view and in vicinity. "I want you to suck me off love."
"And i..." Melo drops to the floor as well, lays down and gestures to her face. "Come down here so you can sit on my face."
Your face flushes. What a dirty, dirty thing they had come up with! Round two already? You tried your best to ignore the growing flame in the pit of your tummy, squeezing your thighs together.
"Cmon princess, we don't have all day," Hex gently chides and you slowly get up and over Melo. "Good girl."
As you were about to carefully seat yourself on Melo's mouth, she grips your thighs, sharp nails digging in and shoves you down. A moan rips from your chest, mouth open and Hex took the opportunity to slide his cock in your mouth.
Hex groans at how good your mouth feels, pistoning in and out of your mouth easily, his fat tip already leaking pre cum and hitting the back of your throat each and every time. It almost made you gag a couple of times, tears running down your face.
Melo makes a mess out of your pussy, slurping all your arousal and sucking hard on your clit. Her tongue flicks in and out of your entrance and you clench around seemingly nothing. Melo moans into your scalding pussy and this shoots electricity up your spine, eliciting a moan out of your around Hex's dick.
"Fuck," Hex groans, grasping your hair hard as your eyes flutter shut. "Who's a good slut, hmm? Moan for me. I know you have a lot in your mouth right now sweetheart, but cmon, moan my name for me."
Teeth grazes your clit and you nearly jump. Clearly, Melo physically voiced her opinion as well. You knew she wanted you to moan her name, not the therapist.
You suck greedily on Hex's length, getting an approving hum in reward. Melo spreads your folds wider, tongue licking a stripe up your cunt. You ride her face hard, and received another approving hum from the exorcist this time.
Yet again, another orgasm tears through your body, causing you to shudder from head to toe with a drawn out moan. Melo helps you ride out your orgasm, her rough sucking decreasing to small kitten licks, cleaning you up.
Hex helps you dress again as Melo continues cleaning you up, exchanging glances with one another as you try to regain your breath.
"She didn't say either of our names today," Melo notes, letting you rest your head in her lap and she rubs your shoulder.
"That's alright," Hex responds simply. "We'll get her to next time."
Your eyes visibly widen at that.
What the hell does he mean, next time?
#Again written at 3 am and finished at 4 am#Yay we go hard#nijisanji#chaotic.text#nijisanji en#vtuber#nijien#nijisanji smut#nijisanji x reader#meloco kyoran#hex haywire#hex haywire x reader#Meloco kyoran x reader#Xsoleil#Xsoleil smut#xsoleil x reader#Meloco kyoran smut#Hex haywire smut
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up all night every night just thinking about rookanis. all the time. so i wrote some more of my masquerade ball fic : )))) this one is actually. getting a plot - sooooo insane. how do you write that
AO3 Link !!!
snippet below Yup Yup you know the drill ily all SM for reading. thank u for indulging in my self indulgent AU
“You said you’d find me if you learned anything,” the Crow says, leaning in the doorframe. He steps forward and lets the door close behind him. His tone is dry. Rook huffs. “This looks like you learned something.”
“I didn’t have time to go looking for you,” she mutters, standing up and brushing off her dress. Quickly she spins, checking the fabric, avoiding the blood pooling on the floor. It has been spared - nothing seems to stain it. Relief floods her body.
Satisfied, Rook wipes her bloody dagger on the bedsheets. She rests her foot on the bed; her leg is bared as she re-sheathes her knife. From the corner of her eye, she sees him sneak a glance. It would be a lie to say that doesn’t make her pleased.
“You’re lucky I noticed you were missing,” he says.
Rook drops her dress back over her leg and turns to him. His demeanor is so casual. She doesn’t press him on what she’s actually curious about - that he noticed she was missing so quickly, as much as she yearns to ask. Instead, she shrugs and says, “I had it handled.”
#lucanis x rook#rookanis#lucanis dellamorte#rook de riva#dragon age: the veilguard#veilguard fanfic#dragon age fanfiction#*clanging pans*#ttrevelyan writes
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GREED
I wondered how Law would be entertained while in Blackbeard's captivity
genre: smut, short form pairing: Blackbeard x fem!Law word count: 0,65k cw: vaginal penetration, anal penetration, oral (f receiving, m receiving), group sex, free use, teasing, alcohol, food play, dom/sub dynamics
you can also read this on ao3
Blackbeard might be greedy, but he’s not the one to cut corners on spoiling his favorite toy. When all the loot is brought to him for assessment, he graciously gestures for Lafitte to put aside a few chests – the plaything fund as Teach calls it, purposed entirely for the rarest of furs and disgustingly huge jewels. All to dress her up in – that and nothing else, - and parade her around.
Status is his fetish, Law realized in one of her last lucid moments under his care. She’s been drunk on his barbarous domineering ever since, not once given a chance to think for herself. There was no need: he’d dress her up, decorate her, and hold her on his lap while feasting, a bird in the golden cage with bars fading in the sweet fog of pleasure each day.
Always wet is how he liked her. He’d plunge his thick ringed fingers into her slick, tease her clit with his gold and rubies, drink her up before sinking his teeth in meat. He sprawled her right on the table for his crew to see and feast upon, for all of them to grope and ravish her to their heart’s content.
They were rarely content, his crew. Mouths, each more famished than the one before, never leaving her crying cunt – she could now tell who was drinking from her without a single look, so differently famished they all were. Lafitte cautiously nibbled, taking his sweet time to drain her. Burgess ate her as if it was his last meal, making her cry in ecstasy. Shiryu tortured her deliciously, calloused thumb on her clit forcing streams onto his face as he lapped slowly, dragging his tongue over both her holes. Catarina only took what she wanted before sliding a strawberry over her engorged clit and savouring it.
Then he’d take her: he’d make her lean her soiled back on his chest, hoisted her legs up and the drag of his cock through her rim always robbed her lungs of breath. She’d whine, hazed, beg him silently for a kiss and he always indulged, while someone from the crew made her sopping cunt their home.
She remembered her legs trembling in pleasure, yet she almost forgot the sound of her own voice, throat bruised and hoarse of all the moaning and fucking. Sometimes Teach coaxed her to her knees, a docile little pet with her jaw falling slack to welcome him whole. Oh, how she loved him there! A gold chain wrapped tight around her column, he’d force her nose into his pubes, ridiculing her for the gurgling sounds. And the next moment he’d kiss and coo at her, praising her swollen lips. She loved his cock back, forever eager to show her devotion by swallowing it whole and looking up through tears. She kissed his cock back, rubbed herself on it, savoured his cum on her tongue with the widest smile.
He’d decorate her with silver and diamonds, and then toyed with her through the night, teasing her for how loudly the jewels jingled, threatening to invite more guests to her body. Guests that she’d never refuse, only welcome as her legs fell open.
He’d pump her full, sheathed balls deep while her feet dangled uselessly in the air, and she asked for more, always. “Use me more” she called, weakened hands grasping at his blurred stature. “Forever, yes” he’d answer, twisting her meek pliable body into another sweet contortion.
She might have gotten greedy with him, yes. He explored her so well she never needed to ask, only take what was rightfully hers. He fed her appetites with his greed, flushed her with seed and wine, loved her with tongue and gold. She never wanted to leave, he domesticated her. Now, he snaps his fingers, and her body knows what to do. Take all the spoils, obey, and most importantly – never think.
MDNI, reblogs and comments are welcome, it's not a sin if u like it
© 2024 AVEEGREX, all rights reserved.
reposting and copying my works without my consent is forbidden.
#one piece#one piece fanfiction#one piece smut#op smut#op fanfiction#trafalgar law#fem trafalgar law#fem law#blackbeard#one piece blackbeard#one piece kurohige#law x blackbeard#law smut#blackbeard smut#trafalgar law smut
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Swap Across the CrystalVerse Chapter 17: The Bad End
Read Swapboys | Crystal’s AUs| You've reached a Bad End (Also on AO3!)
Read SITCV | SATCV Masterpost | AO3 Link
"You do look more like me wearing that," Chase comments, looking over Bro in his new clothes. "The hand-me-down look really seals it. Sorry if they don't fit. We have, uh, limited options while living in a cave. At least they're clean."
Bro laughs, "It's okay- we're pretty similar just… bigger… arms I guess."
"You can say bigger muscles- I think Chase's self esteem was already shot just by seeing them~!" Jackie grins.
"Hey! Don't be mean! It's not like… I'm showing off! It's just! What happens when you fight crime!" Bro protests.
Chase laughs. "Don't worry, I'm not too concerned about being built. I'm more of a long range guy."
Stacy pokes her head into the storage cavern where Chase, Bro, Jackie, and Sam are waiting. "Are you guys done in here?"
The two swaps look at Stacy and Bro tries to hide his blush at seeing her as he adjusts the outfit. "u-uh yeah! I think so!"
"Great." Stacy nods. "I found a group of people who are going to come along."
Someone else leans into view. They have short dark hair underneath a blue beanie and are wearing a black jacket and skirt with leggings. "Hey." They wave.
"Oh! This is Raven, they're one of those people," Stacy says. "They wanted to meet you."
"Not often you hear about people from another world." Raven grins. "Nice to meet you. I'm the magician."
"Oh! A magician! That's great!" Bro grins. "We could use any help we can get!"
'Nice to meet ya, Raven!" Jackie smiles.
"Heh." Raven smiles. "Happy to help. If you get paused in time I'm able to unfreeze you. That's why I'm coming."
"Oh awesome! That'll make this way easier!" Bro laughs.
"Stacy, are you gonna go, too?" Chase asks.
"Are you?" Stacy asks him.
"I, uh… I want to help. But I think it'll make the whole decoy thing hard."
Jackie looks at Chase and then shrugs, "If you stay with us and hidden- it should be fine! Once Bro starts using his powers it gonna be real obvious it aint you so-"
"That's true…" Chase muses. "Alright. I'll go. I'm an alright marksman, I can stay hidden from a distance."
Stacy nods. "In that case, I won't go. It's too dangerous for both of us to leave. Just in case something happens to one group."
Chase nods. "Alright. Where's Jack, by the way?"
Sam gets off the box They're sitting on and wraps Their nerve-tail around something inside. A small pen. They awkwardly write letters on the lid of the cardboard box. A-L-T.
"He's still with Alt?" Chase asks. "Huh."
Jackie frowns. "… I feel like that's been a long time."
Bro looks worried. "Do you think they're both okay?"
Chase bites his lip. "I don't think anything could've happened to Jack. You literally can't touch him, yknow? But… something could be…" He shakes his head, not wanting to say it in front of Bro and Jackie. "I-it'll probably be fine. If everyone's ready, we should start moving right away. Jackie, are you gonna come?"
"Yeah man! I can be moral support if anything. But, also like- whats the saying… better with numbers…?" Jackie frowns. "Why can't I remember how that goes-"
Bro laughs, "Please try to stay away from any place you can fall and break something, Jackie-"
"Nooo promises!" Jackie grins.
"You want a gun, then? Or a knife?" Stacy asks, pushing open the lid of a crate.
"Oh- a knife please. Imma a terrible shot." Jackie laughs.
"Alright, here you go." Stacy grabs a sheathed knife and hands it to him. "That looks the right size for you. Feel free to slash away, the corrupted don't feel pain and they don't go down easily."
"ooh- that's.. fun. Good to know." Jackie says, taking the knife.
Bro frowns, "huh… i gotta be careful then… I don't wanna like- accidentally… you know-"
"Accidentally kill them? You're that strong?" Chase asks with wide eyes.
Bro flushes, "…I dunno! mmmmaybe? I haven't tried to! I'm very against killing- but I usually try to hold back once I see someone in pain."
"Yknow, Trisha once shot Error point-blank with a shotgun and he got up again, I think you punching them really hard won't do that much," Stacy says. "Just don't aim for the heads. These are still people under all the corruption."
Bro nods to Stacy and wrings out his hands and wrists, "Okay… I can do that. I don't like aiming for the face much anyways. Broken noses aren't fun for anyone… Unless they deserve it. …Broken noses are meant for criminals not mind controlled people. There that's a new super law for me." He nods.
Jackie snorts and rolls his eyes.
Stacy laughs. "Great, good to hear."
"Let's head out, then," Chase says. "The sooner, the better. We need Bro to hang out somewhere with a lot of cameras for him to see, while the rest of us stay out of sight."
Raven nods. "I can keep up an invisibility spell for a while, but everyone will need to stick close to me, it only covers so much ground."
"Alright, good luck guys," Stacy says.
"Thanks Stacy- stay safe okay?" Bro says with a smile. Jackie gives her a two fingered salute.
“Let's go." Chase checks his gun, then leads the way out of the cave.
--------
The door to the room appears, opening up. Jack looks away from Alt and towards it, stiffening. His form is overtaken by white static until he's just the staticky outline he was when Alt first saw him. He puts a finger to his lips.
Alt jumps slightly and then curls up as Jack becomes less solid. He shakily nods.
Error walks in. He looks at Alt and grins. "We're going to take a trip. Come on. Please don't make this difficult."
As Error walks in Alt growls and bares his teeth at him like a feral animal.
"Oh, don't be like that, this is your lucky day! Though you don't think of it that way right now." Error leans down, still grinning. He's not wearing the hoodie outfit from earlier. Instead, it's some red and blue jumpsuit, torn and bloodied. "Come on." His smile drops. "If I have to drag you down there, I will."
"Go ahead and try fucker-" Alt spits. He grins as his eyes spark with energy, "You already know I'm pretty slippery."
"Because of your glitching? Is that it? Hmmm." Error hums. "You know… the Place has a way of taking you where Anti wants you to be. So, sure, you can try. You'll probably just end up where I'm taking you anyway." He flashes a sharp smile. "But if you insist." He grabs Alt by the arm and starts pulling him towards the door.
Alt yelps and then quickly tries to glitch away and out of his grip.
And yet, somehow, Error manages to hold onto him. The static swarming around his body buzzes around Alt's glitches, causing some kind of rough barrier. "Come on," Error says, adjusting his hold so he's pinning Alt's arms to his side. He doesn't sound bothered at all by the struggles as he drags Alt out into the hallway. The static form of Jack follows.
Alt cries out and tries to fight as much as he can. "H-Hey! What the fuck!! Let me go!!"
"Nope!" Error says, almost cheerfully. He continues dragging Alt down the hallway, which slopes and twists downwards. Cables start to appear on the ground, ready to trip people up, but he nimbly dodges them. "Come on, we're almost there!"
Alt feels his stomach drop and dread starts to take over him as he tries even harder to get away. "N-No! C'mon J-Jackie! You're Jackie right?! J-Just let me go man!!"
"I thought I told you before." Error's grip on Alt tightens to the point where it hurts a little. "That's not me anymore." He reaches a door made of metal and opens it up, dragging Alt inside. It's completely dark, impossible to see, but somehow Error navigates it perfectly until he manages to push Alt into a chair, forcing him to sit.
Alt cries out and squirms and kicks as much as he can. When he's forced into the chair he tries to see if he can glitch away-
"No!" Error sees him doing that and pushes him hard back, hard enough that Alt's head clunks against the back of the chair. "Don't you dare," he hisses, quickly grabbing Alt's arms and pushing them into the arms of the chair, where cuffs snap into place. He quickly does the same for his ankles, cuffing them to a bar connecting the chair legs, and then backs up. "Just wait here quietly, okay?"
Alt’s vision flashes white for a second as he head hits the seat. He then struggles and pulls at the restraints, really starting to freak out. Terrified tears gather in his eyes as he starts to heave in panic. “P-Please don’t do this! I-I don’t want to be a puppet again! Please!”
Error grins. "It's not so bad. Maybe you'll find it's different this time. Maybe you'll be happy." And then he turns and leaves the room.
Jack quickly walks into the room before Error closes the door. The room is completely dark now, but Alt can hear Jack's voice. "You're not alone, I promise," he says.
Alt is panicking hardcore, even Jack's voice doesn't calm him down. His eyes try to find any source of light in the room but there's nothing- its dark and he's scared. "J-Jack…! I.. I don't want to be corrupted…! I..! I-"
“I know, I’m sorry,” Jack murmurs. “I-I can’t stop him, a-and I’m sorry. But I can fix it. Just before you guys arrived here, I figured out how to uncorrupt people. But I-I don’t know how to stop the corruption while it’s happening. Only after the fact. And I’m so, so sorry. But I promise people are on the way to help. I promise.”
Alt feels his stomach sinking even more as he hangs his head and tries to hide his panicked tears. He… he has to try to look tough for whatever's coming… he can't show he's weak- but he's so fucking scared.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Jack says. “You’re not alone. It’s going to be—”
Then the door opens again. The lights flick on, revealing the corruption room, just like the one Surgeon showed Mag. Standing in the doorway are two familiar faces. Anti… and Magnificent himself.
“Hey, Alt,” Anti says, grinning as he closes the door.
"Hello cub~" Magnificent giggles.
Alt goes pale. "M-Magnificent…"
Magnificent laughs wildly and teleports to grab Alt's chin, tilting it back and forth. "Awww look at you, kitten! You look fucking terrible~ Scared out of your wits, are we?"
"S-Shut the fuck up!" Alt spits, trying to pull his wet face away from his grip.
Magnificent giggles and teleports back by Anti, grinning. "This is going to be so fucking easy. It's almost sad-"
"Easy would be good, this is never 'easy' in my experience," Anti says. One of the screens on the walls lights up, showing nothing but static, the speakers letting out the sound of white noise. Anti glitches over to a table and starts looking through the items there. "You should probably cover your ears, Magnificent. I don't think it'll be able to affect you so easily, but better safe than sorry. You get started while I decide how to approach this."
"Ah- Yes. I can do that." Mag snaps and puts basically magic earplugs in and then grins, slinking back over to Alt.
Alt tries to pull his head away but Mag grabs him by the hair and slams his head back, giggling. "Oh you poor beaten kitten… your mind has already been scrambled so nicely for me~! So broken and disjointed… It's like you knew to expect me!"
"Mag- f-fucking! Don't do this! You're really g-gonna let me be a puppet for someone else?" Alt tries to growl at him.
Magnificent just shakes head and laughs, "Why not? I want to see how it works~! And you're already such a good puppet for me, Alt… I think I can lend you away for a bit~" He flares up some corruption in his hands- not enough to completely block Alt's magic- but enough to make him weak. He digs his claws into his neck and spreads it there as Alt screams and tries to thrash against it. As he works a bright purple and green spiral looms behind Magnificent- soon drawing in Alt's eyes as Mag withdraws his hand.
Alt weakly lets his head fall back, panting and heaving in panic- but he's starting to do it less- the anger and fear fading from his eyes. Corrupted purple flickers in his eyes but- he tries to fight against it, weakly squirming in his restraints. "n-no… no I… i-"
Anti watches this happen, observing. It really does happen quite quickly. "I've been able to put people in trances before," he says quietly. "But they always shake it off eventually. That sort of reminds me of it." He nods at the spiral, at the way Alt's struggles are fading. "I can work with that."
The white noise in the air sounds less sharp than it did before. More… soothing, almost. Anti walks around behind Alt, carrying something. He snaps it around Alt's neck, revealing it to be a metal collar.
"Alright, Alt," he says quietly, but not kindly. "Here's how it's going to work. If you start to do something wrong, you're going to get hurt. Same thing if you say something bad. Simple enough, right? You can do that, right?"
Magnificent's eyes widen and then he giggles, "Oh… i like where this is going."
Alt snaps slightly out of trance as he feels the collar get snapped onto him. He weakly glares at Anti, eyes sparking. "L-Like i'm gonna just d-do what you say just cuz you ask me- f-fuck off!"
ZAP. Anti can't pulse with electricity the way Alt can, but he has other tools he can use. Namely, a taser, which he presses to the metal of the collar and switches on for a second. "That's a low setting, and I know you can handle electricity," Anti says. "But I promise it can get worse. And I'm not just limited to lightning." He tilts Alt's head back so he can look him in the eyes. "You don't have to fight it, though," he whispers. "You don't have to go through this." He glances back up at Magnificent and nods towards the spiral he has conjured, silently asking him to increase whatever he's doing.
Alt grits his teeth and stiffens in his chair, trying to hide his discomfort. He feels himself get tilted up and he opens his eyes enough to just glare more at Anti. "I-I'm not l-letting myself be corrupted by you…!"
Magnificent tilts his head and the magic gets brighter and hums with intensity. The pressure on the room increases. Mag grips his hand and the corruption on Alt's neck pulses and grows slightly, making purple flash in his eyes as he gasps.
Alt tries to shut his eyes, shaking his head. "No…! Nono-!"
"Why not?" Anti asks. "Remember, I've seen your memories. I know what you've thought. All these Antis out here, doing terrible things. You know that you're not any different. Didn't you try to kill your so-called friends a couple times?"
"T-Those weren't for you to see-" Alt whimpers. "I.. I'm not like that anymore- I don't want to be that anymore…! I'm not like them- I'm not-!" He squeezes his eyes shut tighter, trembling.
ZAP! Anti goes up a setting on the taser. "Don't close your eyes," he snaps.
Alt grits his teeth and bites back another scream. Alt instinctively follows Anti's order and his eyes find the spiral.
"Alright, maybe you're not like that anymore. But you remember what it was like, don't you? Didn't a part of you like being like that? Being able to do whatever the fuck you wanted?"
Alt’s shoulders almost instantly relax as the magic starts to spiral in his eyes. His head lolls back more as he breathes slowly. He leans a bit more against Anti's side, talking hollowly. "… i… i… d..did…"
"That's it kitten… relax… and listen to Anti," Magnificent sings sweetly, increasing the burning magic. "Just like that…"
"I know you did," Anti says, his voice laced with static. "But you feel so bad about it now. Guilt is a useless thing, Alt. All it does is make you feel bad. Life is so much better lived without regrets. Nothing is stopping you from casting these feelings aside and doing something that you like. Even if people say it's wrong, they don't know you. They can't know you. It's impossible to fully know someone, since you can't possibly have thought and felt and experienced everything someone else has. So, why do you care so much about what these people who can't know you think?"
"I… I don't… know…" Alt whispers, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. "…it… it.. shouldn't… matter…" His eye twitches and he tries to shake out his head, squeezing his eyes shut again as his head pounds. "n-no it m-matters it… it has to- I… I need to- be something b-better…! I…"
ZAP! Up another setting. "Better is arbitrary," Anti hisses. "Good and bad are constructs. Right and wrong are fictional ideas." The static echoes his words. "You only want to be 'better' because others tell you that you should want that. When you strip away those voices, Alt, you know what you really want. And I can help you, like I've helped lots of people before you."
Alt lets out a short scream now, clenching his fists and arching his back. He pants, eyes rolling in his head for a second before they find the spiral again. He starts to relax even more, even through panted short breaths. The magic glows brighter in his eyes as he whispers, "…what… I want…?" He leans his head back and sighs in pain, "i… i wanna be free…"
"Then let me help you," Anti whispers. "Let me free you." He puts one hand on Alt's shoulder. For a moment, he flickers, becoming a figure of black static. Something is in his chest. Right where his heart would be. It looks a little like a heart too, in shape. But it's not. It's a knot of strings, and one of those strings slinks down his arm and into the spot where his hand is touching Alt. Then he returns to his normal look, and the string is gone from sight. But it's still there.
Alt twitches a bit and rolls his shoulder where he feels the string but very quickly relaxes. His eyes glaze over completely and his fighting stops. "…free me, Anti." He whispers, lips hardly moving.
Magnificent giggles with glee, hardly able to stop grinning.
"I will," Anti promises. "Close your eyes. When I tell you to open them again, you'll be free."
Alt's eyes easily slip shut now, his head lolling forward to hang limply over his chest.
"One…" Anti whispers. "Two…" He reaches for the collar. "Three." And he snaps it off. "Wake up, Byte."
Alt's head slowly rises and he opens his eyes. Immediately- they are different. His sclera is now green static. The purple spirals still burn in his irises but… now its like- his pupils are glitching. They don't seem to want to settle, glitching across his iris and sclera in broken bits and pieces.
Byte leans forward and looks confused before his lips curl up into an unsteady smile. He digs his nails into the arms of his chair and starts to giggle. He's dazed- still seeming kinda lost and entranced. He falls back in his chair, letting his head hit the back of it as he dazedly giggles at the ceiling.
"…fascinating…!" Magnificent breathes, his eyes sparkling.
"Everyone reacts to it differently," Anti says. "I've given up on trying to predict how they'll act after the process--but somehow this feels right." He leans back, considering for a moment. "It might not be as well-settled as corruption usually is, but that was really fast. Worth the tradeoff, if you ask me."
"I think it was only so fast because his mind is already very open to my hypnosis. And… whatever happened with you two scrambled his brain and made it very easy to manipulate." Magnificent comments, crossing his arms as he studies Byte. "Still… I haven't seen him like this…"
Anti leans forward again, undoing the cuffs on Byte's wrists and ankles. "Hello there." He smiles at him, somehow managing to look both genuine and crazed at the same time. "How do you feel, Byte?"
Byte dazedly watches as he's freed, smile only getting wider. His eyes get a bit more of that unhinged look in them. He tries to glitch up out of the chair and then falls over himself slightly, giggling madly. He finds Anti's arm and grabs onto it, digging his nails in. "F-Fantastic-" He grins. "Fucking f̵a̴n̴t̴a̵s̷t̸i̵c̷~! And… and stabby- I feel stabby." Byte laughs more and looks at Anti with those wide glitching eyes, grinning like a maniac. "Can I stab you? I w-w-wanna see you b̷͚̂l̴̢̇é̷̠e̶̓͜é̸̯d̸͕͘d̴̞̑."
"Ha! Unfortunately, I don't bleed at all, despite this whole thing." Anti indicates the neck wound. "But we can go out into the city and find someone who will." His smile widens into an excited grin. He seems unfazed by Byte grabbing his arm, even as the nails dig in. He glances at Magnificent. "Guessing that sort of comment isn't normal, then?"
"Not at all." Magnificent replies, impressed.
"Can I bite them?!" Byte says excitedly, baring his teeth in a sharp grin. "That's what my name is now, right? B̵I̷t̶e̸!̸ ̵!" He snaps his teeth together like a playful predator, giggling.
"You can," Anti assured him. "Let me just find someone suitable. This will only take one second." He turned into black static and zipped away--and then, exactly one second later, he returned. "Well… I just saw something very interesting." He looked over at Magnificent. "A puppet who snapped his strings. My Chase is out wandering around. It must be some sort of trap, I caught a couple glimpses of people nearby. They must've thought they were hiding with that magician's invisibility spell, not knowing that some cameras can see through that." And back to Byte, grinning. "We can head out right now."
"C̸h̵a̴s̵e̷!̷ I know a Chase!" Byte says excitedly. "If there's twooo Chases- can I kill one, Anti?" He giggles. As he does, he's still glitching a bit in place- his normally bright green and blue glitches now darker and corrupted. Even his magic seems corrupted as he opens his hand up and summons one of his magic knives. It buzzes and fizzles with loud static and flickers between dark green, blue, red and black.
Magnificent chuckles, "That's true… that could mean our Chase is somewhere in there too. No doubt hoping to catch us off guard."
"Or! He can come back too! Two Chases! Two puppets~!" Byte laughs, bouncing on his toes.
"Two would be nice," Anti says thoughtfully. "But if it really comes down to it, you can kill the spare--the one not from this world. As well as anyone else with him."
The spirals in Byte's eyes pulse a bit at this, as if sealing in a command and he grins. "I can kill him. It will be fun to kill him~! And the others! Anyone I can!!"
"Oh this will be quite the show~!" Magnificent laughs, "My puppets wont know what's hitting them."
Anti flashes a smile. "Lovely knives."
"Thank you Anti!" Byte beams. He throws one knife out of his hand and lets its sink into the wall- then opens back up his hand and it flies back in a similar arc. He giggles. "They're m̸a̵g̶i̷c̵~̷" He then poofs them away and glitches around the room like he just can't keep still. "Can we go?!"
"We can go right now," Anti says. "I need Voice, but we can meet him at the exit. Hmm, I should probably take Error, too, just in case." He looks at Magnificent. "Want to join? The four of us together can probably defeat them all."
"Oh, my friend, I wouldn't miss this for the world." Magnificent chuckles.
Byte glitches to a stop, his hair spiking and curling slightly as electricity courses across it and his clothes. He grins wide. "I'll follow you! I still don't know how the Place works-" He says plainly but even that sounds a bit crazy and unhinged. Maybe its that wild look in his glitching eyes. He then blinks and looks to a certain corner and then points. "And what are we gonna do with Jack? He's watching."
Magnificent looks confused, frowning at the space and not seeing anything. "…what are you talking about…?"
Anti stiffens. "He's what?" he whispers, absolute venom dripping in his voice, thick enough to burn ears.
Jack has been watching everything. He'd wanted to reach out to Alt, to support him during Anti's attempts to corrupt him, to remind him that he's not alone. But then Magnificent had walked in and thrown him for a loop, and before he could recover, that spiral the magician conjured was blocking Alt's vision. He wanted to shout, to scream, but the moment the process started he froze up. It wasn't just Alt in that chair, it was Jackie, Jameson, Henrik, Marvin, Chase--all of them. All of his friends he couldn't help. All of his friends that he had watched get hurt and tortured and twisted beyond recognition and never been able to do a single thing about. The memory of helplessness locked him up, shoving him back into that mentality until it was too late.
Anti turns in the direction Alt was pointing and lunges forward.
Jack yelps, briefly flickering into view, and dives out of the way.
"Get b̵̨a̛ç̛k̕ ̸͠h͡e͟͠r̢͟ę̴̕!" Anti shouts, picking up a blade from the nearest table and throwing it.
Jack dodges it and jumps through the wall, disappearing.
Anti screeches animalistically--then glances at Magnificent and gets himself under control. "I'll… deal with him… some other time," he says through gritted teeth. "He can't be touched. He's just like a fucking ghost. Not important right now. Let's go. He's probably going to tell the group we're on the way."
Byte staggers back, fear flickering in his eyes. As Anti shouts and screeches, he curls up slightly- afraid of his rage.
Magnificent raises an eyebrow and then laughs, "Sore spot, I'm assuming?" He sees Byte cowering and grabs him by the arm and throws him forward. "No time to waste, Byte. You want your blood, don't you?"
"y…yes. Yeah I- let's go." Byte says a bit dazedly. He glances at Anti warily.
Anti takes a deep breath. He notices Byte's fear, and for a moment, regret flickers in his eyes. But it's only for a second. There are more important things to focus on. "Sore spot indeed," Anti says as he walks to the door. He opens it up and heads out. "Come on. We'd best hurry."
#SATCV#SATCV Bad End#alt anti#corruption#byte alt#hehehe i was so excited for this part i can't believe iw as late!!#shorter chapter but i feel like its flows better this way afhvgajbk#swap magnificent#bro fantastic#jackie mann#you know i had to get alt corrupted do you even know me? ahgvajshkb
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The ABCs of Nick Vaughn - "Q"

Pairing: Reader x Nick Vaughn (Before We Go)
Summary: Children its time to learn your ABCs. And Nick Vaughn is here to teach you the lessons. 26 glimpses in the world of you and Nick Vaughn
Warnings: S-M-U-T!!!! (under 18 please leave the chat!) descriptions of sexual activity including some themes of BDSM, loss of virginity, fluffy bits, pet name etc...
The new upload will probably be Sundays and Thursdays. Have fun kittens! Also, the tag list is open!
I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated
Divider by @firefly-graphics
Previous: P - Possessive
ABC Masterlist - Main Masterlist
Q - Quickly and Quietly
From Nick’s POV
I need her.
I need to possess her
My girl.
MINE.
Having her pressed against the door of her office, I can feel how hot she is. I roll my hips again and she moans quietly. “We have to be quick baby.”
“Nick, my office is not soundproof.”
“Then I’m just gonna have to keep you quiet.” I yanked her away from the door and put myself against it. I lift her other legs around my waist and then walk her to her desk. I find it cute that she refuses to leave her desk messy every night. And right now, that is convenient. I lay her down and reached up her skirt for her panties. I drag them off of her and take a deep breath in them. Fuck, she smells good. She is panting on her desk, waiting for me. I smirk and put them in my pocket. This is going to be fun. I drop to my knees to get a taste and fuck is she already wet for me. I guess I need to have her now.
Your POV.
Nick unbuttoned his pants, and you were ready, so ready for him to destroy you. He gets his pants and boxers down low enough, so his thick member is out. He’s dribbling and uses that to run over your slit. “Fuck,” you moan as he continues to tease. “I thought you said we had to be quick.”
You see Nick’s eyes flash and you know you’re in trouble. “Oh, my girl wants fast?” Before you have a chance to reply, he sheathes himself in you in one go. You are about to cry out when he clamps a hand over your mouth. “Quiet,” he orders lowly as he pounds into you. It’s hard and fast, he’s hitting that spot inside of you with every punch of his member. There is no way for you to be quiet, so Nick keeps his hand over your mouth. He gets your legs to your chest, the new angle making you roll your eyes.
And without warning, you cum around him, gripping him so tight it triggers his release. He falls on top of you, breathing hard. “Sweetheart, are you ok?”
You can’t even speak now so you nod. Nick chuckles as he reaches in your drawers for the tissue he knows you keep. He cleans you gently and helps you get back up and lower your dress.
You look in the mirror. Your makeup isn’t bad, just the corners of your eyes, which you clean up a bit. You pull your hair into a soft, messy bun on the nape of your neck but otherwise you look ok. You turn to Nick. “Panties?”
Nick smirks and shakes his head. “For my collection.”
You frown. “I can’t go out there with no panties Nicholas.”
“I’d keep my legs together, love, so nothing dribbles out.” He opens the door before you can say anything and gestures for you to go ahead of him. You go to glare but then he whispers, “I love you so much my beautiful girl.” Now, you just smile softly and blush from his attention.
You rejoin the party and Sadie gives a knowing look but says nothing. Lance spots you again and frowns as Nick has his hand around you, settled at the top of your ass.
The message was clear: don’t touch what belongs to Nick Vaughn.
Taglist
@patzammit @slutforchrisjamalevans @jennmurawski13-writes @firephotogrl74 @texmexdarling @atoosa22 @tinkerbelle67
#andy's shenanigans#andy's hea#chris evans#the ABCs of nick Vaughn#nick vaughn x reader#chris evans fanfiction#nick vaughn smut#nick vaughn x you#before we go au#chris evans fic#chris evans smut#chris evans au
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Good morrow and well met, for we have scraped together 8 of the dirtiest bawdy (bardy) moments from ol' Shakey-pants' work.
Don't act so surprised. It's always been about the dick jokes, y'all. Do you know us but at all?
So, adjust your ruff, pull up your cross-gartered stockings, and let's get the fuck into it.
1. Much Ado About Nothing
Right from the title we’re dealing in double entendres. ‘Nothing’ is Elizabethan slang for vagina so it basically means: “a lot of fuss about pussy”. Cool.
Then almost immediately, our first introduction to one of the protagonists alludes to him being a walking venereal disease: “If he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere a' be cured.”
In return, Benedick swears he will never “hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick” and on it goes for 5 acts. Even BeneDICK’s eventual declaration of love includes a sex pun. “I will live in thy heart, die (orgasm) in thy lap, and be buried in your eyes.” Stay classy, guys.
2. Romeo & Juliet
Just your regular tween romance in which thirteen-year-old Juliet monologues repeatedly about how much she wants to get Ro-Ro into her bed. Even the classic ‘a rose by any other name’ speech includes the line: “nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor any other part belonging to a man” fnar fnar.
Oh, and she also dies (slang for orgasm) asking for his ‘happy dagger’ to rust inside her ‘sheath’. Yeah yeah, it’s a tragedy, but it’s also sex ‘n’ death right to the end.
3. Twelfth Night
Malvolio is the king of (accidental?) debauchery. While reading a (forged) letter from the lady he fancies, he declares: “By my life, this is my lady’s hand. These be her very C’s, her U’s and (N) her T’s, and thus makes she her great P’s.” Yes, that is how you spell **** and we’ll let you figure out the P bit.
He’s also responsible for the most misquoted line by wannabe motivational speakers everywhere: “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness THRUST upon ‘em.”
Yes, he’s talking about his dick.
4. Hamlet
To be or not to be whatever, but just imagine trying to sneak ‘c*ntry matters’ past the censors today:
HAMLET: Lady, shall I lie in your lap? OPHELIA: No, my lord. HAMLET: I mean, my head upon your lap. OPHELIA: Ay, my lord. HAMLET: Do you think I mean country matters? OPHELIA: I think nothing, my lord. HAMLET: That’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs
Reminder that ‘nothing’ also means vagina. That’s a double whammy in the space of 7 lines. Kudos, sir.
5. Sonnet 20
Elizabethans loved a nice bit of androgyny, and never more so in this poem whereby Shakey talks in detail about how his (male) patron is soooo pretty and delicate and feminine AF and he’s super totally into that even though nature added ‘one thing to my purpose nothing’ (psst he’s talking about the guy’s cock) and ‘prick’d thee out for women’s pleasure’ (still talking about cock) but that’s ok cos all the laydeez will ‘use’ his ‘treasure’ (cock).
Mm hmm.
Cue all the old man scholars arguing for several hundred years that there was absolutely nothing gay about any of this lol bless.
6. The Taming of the Shrew
An otherwise irredeemable play contains this arse-licking zinger:
PETRUCHIO: Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail. KATHARINA: In his tongue. PETRUCHIO: Whose tongue? KATHARINA: Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell. PETRUCHIO: What, with my tongue in your tail?
No further comments, your honour.
7. Henry V
Ok, buckle in for some Franglaise as the French Princess Catherine practices her English in preparation for marrying Henry, mispronouncing various body parts in a hilarious display of casual xenophobia. But the tables turn beautifully and profanely when she asks her maid the English word for ‘robe’ and is told ‘coun’ (gown) which sounds a lot like… uh… See you next Tuesday.
Yep. Shakespeare really got the future queen of England to say c*nt live on stage. Bravo.
8. Titus Andronicus
Aaaaand possibly the first recorded ye olde yo mama joke:
CHIRON: Thou hast undone our mother. AARON: Villain! I hath done thy mother!
Boom boom. Because he had sex wtih her. It’s about sex. It’s a sex joke. Okay cool. Bye.
#shakespeare#dick jokes#much ado about nothing#romeo & juliet#twelfth night#hamlet#sonnet 20#the taming of the shrew#henry V#titus andronicus
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