#do u know how shitty my morning has been because of this lol

[sovaharbor]

do u know how fucked up it is to tell a trans guy asking for dating app/site recommendations bc he mentions how meeting people irl in his hometown is wildly unsafe bc it is wildly unsafe to even be OUT in his hometown he's currently living in and how all the gay/bi men in his hometown tend to be conservative-leaning themselves and therefore very fucking transphobic. that "if you're not out and you're also not passing enough as a man (when said trans guy literally said he had to stop transitioning for his own safety) then pretty much no man cis or trans is going to want to date you" is? like do you?? do you know how absolutely wildly fucked up that is?????

[tennessoui]

Hey Kit!! This past year when the Acolyte came out, my heart broke and I decided to step away from Star Wars. It’s fine that others liked it but personally I didn’t; actually to be frank, I REALLY didn’t like it. Star Wars and Anakin got me through a lot, so watching Disney take an actual shit on his origin and then his redemption ark by half-assing the lore, felt like a punch to the gut, and I had to step away. (This is my personal opinion, if you or others liked it that’s great! I just didn’t). However, when I saw that u published the body politics au, I decided to sit down and catch up on all your fics (btw I love the Hanahaki one!), and it got me back into the fandom. I’m glad one shitty (imo) show didn’t push me away permanently and I have you to thank for that. I’ve met so many great people thru Star Wars and made a lot friends so it had really been kind of hard to turn away from it. I just really wanted to say thank you. your writing is, as always, too beautiful and inspiring to ignore. Star Wars means so much, and I’m so thankful that your work was able to help me look past all the stuff that made me unhappy with it. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

this is very kind to send to me and a very nice morning read! i admit, i actually have not watched the acolyte, though not for any particular reason. i've definitely heard mixed reviews about the show and its take on the jedi order and the sith, which have been sorta sad to read cause i do like the jedi (though i guess i never label myself as pro-jedi cause like? they're the good guys? you're not like. pro-percy jackson or something right? pro-katniss everdeen? you just sorta read the book and you're like oh yeah these are the good guys. might find aspects of a character annoying but i'm definitely not supposed to be rooting for the Capitol or smething right)

but i've also heard from other people that as a pew-pew show, it delivers on that front! lightsaber fights are cool and everyone has a funky haircut that they pull off somehow which does feel quintessentially star wars

my general view of the disney plus star wars shows is that i'll watch the ones that strike my fancy, and if one of them doesn't then i won't. the star wars disney execs produce a lot of content (and i truly mean content, i.e. material to be consumed - not necessarily art) and a lot of it i'm probably never going to watch. it wasn't made for me, and i definitely get the lurch and disappointment you may feel if you look forward to something for ages and then it's not what you wanted in a thousand small ways or a handful of big ways. i think that's especially hard to guard against nowadays when trailers for tv shows rely more on aesthetic and punchy one-liners and brief second cameos than they do explaining the actual story of the show

but you can be a fan without loving the direction some shows go in or the choices directors make!! if that looks like only watching shows that have been peer-reviewed, or if that looks like ignoring everything but a small corner/subset of a massive fandom, or if that looks like turning from the media itself and diving further into fanart and fanfiction and interacting with people online then that's what it looks like! especially now that the world of canon star wars media isn't just 6-9 movies + 2(?) non trilogy movies, you should absolutely go about watching star wars content with a you-first mindset 100%

you know how many people were disappointed in the obi-wan kenobi series?? soooo many because he was a sad little pathetic and broken man with greasy hair. but that's exactly how i like my obi-wan kenobis, so i was thrilled every episode lol but i'm sure other people hated it and boycotted and whatever. but i found my corner of the fandom who also enjoyed that and it's been wonderful <3

so anyway thankyou so much for your very kind words i hope none of that sounded too preachy i was mostly trying to agree with you that it's really great that one (shitty) show did not keep you away from the fandom forever and that you're back!!

welcome back :)

[moonstruck-muses]

same taste of heaven anon back again :) i have so many thoughts omg. first, your idea of the flashes of memories coming back to yn- that would make me so sick. it's so bizarre the first time that surely it must've been a weird dream that just came back to her or smth. and then she gets more and more and seems too vivid to be a dream. literally would have me throwing up bc wtf do you mean my bf drinks my blood without telling me and then makes me forget. god i would be so scared too LOL. idk if you've developed the lore this much in your head but like, would that mean yn just has blackouts in her memory? like she has no recollection of that night if the venom made her forget? oh and also, does the venom get into her blood automatically and the memory loss just happens to be a side effect? and then once jake realizes she forgets after he's like oh nice i didn't know it works like that i'm gonna keep doing it. or does he deliberately poison her to make her forget? either way he's shitty but like lmao

also i loved the fic btw so this is not hate!! but how shitty is he to literally get into a relationship with her and just keep the vampire part a secret when this man is literally IMMORTAL so like eventually she would have to choose to leave him or stay. because he wanted to tell her the entire time but just didn't. how selfish 😭

i needed to finish the plot before bed last night i imagined that the venom wasn't as strong as he thought it would be to fully make her memory go away, so it's hazy when she wake up but she has enough of it to remember and confront him. so he's like oh shit did not see this coming. and then she gets really upset and mad. like she is SO hurt, the angst is going CRAZYYYY. then she's like you're my boyfriend, how could you do this to me! how could u literally pierce my skin multiple times and drink my BLOOD and deliberately make me forget about it! how could you lie to me the whole time!!!,, i asked for the truth and you promised you would tell me how could you do this! and he's like i'm sorryryyy i was just saur scared ilysm i couldn't bear to lose you :(( and she's like yeah that's real i understand, and ilysm but jakey i do not want to be a vampire i literally do not want to live for eternity :/ i like being a human and there is no reason for me to live that long (it was getting a little personal here, like i think 90 years on earth is enough for me tyvm). and then they get sad and hug it out and wtv. i didn't know how to resolve it so i left it there lul

SWEET SWEET NONNIE!!! I almost cried when I saw this, you have no idea how much this means to me have somebody interact with my art like this <3 I hope your pillow is always cold and your blankets always fluffy.

SO the mechanics of how the mind wipe works (and with the wound disappearing with the lick) is actually a little power I borrowed from Vampire the Masquerade, which is a ttrpg I really love. There's two abilities one called Cloud Memory and the other The Forgetful Mind. Cloud Memory is simple--you simple erase a moment of the memory and the victim will be none the wiser to it as long as they don't press on the memory. Then they'll realize something is wrong. The Forgetful Mind is a little more complex, as in that one you're actually rewriting the victim's memory, and giving them false memories to replace it. I wrote Jake's little stunt as a middle ground between the two. So Y/N would wake up the next morning and she'd know they fucked and boy it must've been spectacular but she'd definitely forget the details of what exactly happened (i.e. the venom). A shitty move of Jake for sure--but alas I am a vampire apologist, and wasn't lying when I said this was self indulgent (God please send me a vampire boyfriend I can make him worse). Two things about me: I will die for Jake, and the only thing I love in this world more than Enha is vampires (as you may guess, me discovering Enha's concept was very detrimental to me. In fact my roommate laughed in my face and said "Good Luck!' when I forced him to watch the Drunk-Dazed video).

And yes sweet nonnie--not interpreting this as hate at all! As a reader, I hate being given very morally black and white characters, it takes a lot of intrigue out of a story, and doesn't give us the tension we seek. Morally grey characters (like my vampire Jake) give us two sides of the story. He's being objectively shitty, and taking away so much agency from Y/N, and yet he loves her, and doesn't know how to face the truth because he is, like you said, selfish! His fear of being alone causes him to act in a way that endangers Y/N and only worsens his case when the inevitable happens. I like to think it adds a little spice, where you can see the sweetness and we see the POV of Jake giving Y/N what she's dreamed of and more, but from his POV we see the selfishness and the monstrosity of what he's doing and the danger he puts her in every time he drinks and then wipes her mind.

And TEEHEE just giggled and kicked my feet. I love your interpretation of the ending. I think it's just so fundamentally sad if Y/N wants her mortality but that doesn't mean she'll always be able to keep Jake, and because of that Jake doesn't have a choice but to let her go. How long will they let this relationship last? People will realize he doesn't age, and what happens when she gets to an age where she doesn't feel comfortable being with him anymore? What if she wants a family and a life? So many thoughts so many possibilities! <3

[prettyboykatsuki]

afflictions | u. ochako

♡ tags ; gn!reader, fluff, office relations, mentions of drinking, best friend bakugou (to ochako), from halloween that i just finished lol

♡ wc ; 1.3k

♡ a/n ; this is selfship content ngl. but its okay. ochako i want u sooo bad

♡ synopsis ; ochako has been avoiding her office crush post a halloween fiasco and it's starting to weigh on her conscience.

"You're way over thinking this, Uravity."

Bakugou casts Ochako a glance as she sighs over her cup of tea. He might be right, but for the minute it doesn't mean anything. She frowns, burying her face in her hands.

For the first time since highschool, Ochako Uraraka is head-over-heels pining. There's good news and bad news.

The good news is that the person she likes has a decently high chance of liking her back if the universe isn't just playing her like a fiddle. The bad news is that they work together, not even as Hero's. Ochako's in love with someone from the research department in the agency, a co-worker.

She can feel Bakugou's eyes boring lasers into her head but she can't help it. This whole situation has blown out of proportion and what was once a thirsty passing office crush is a full-blown romantic entanglement and Ochako is entirely too interested in seeing it through. That's why she can't keep her eyes off you, leaned on the side of a cubical, laughing at some joke that Kirishima is relaying to you.

She leans her palm against her cheek before dropping her head against the table.

"Bakugouuu," She whines, wanting to bury herself away "What do I do?"

"Stop being a little bitch and talk to them." He offers, without remorse. Ochako shoots him a glare.

"It's not that easy."

"Oh my god, Cheeks—yes, it fucking is. Are you an idiot? They make fucking heart eyes at you every time you talk to them. It's disgusting."

Ochako giggles.

"Wait, really?"

"Like I said, disgusting. Why the fuck would I lie to you? I'm not Denki, I don't give a fuck. I'm just not blind."

Ochako sighs. That's true.

It wasn't always this.. complicated. Maybe that's the word. At first, Ochako was just interested in your appearance. You looked more put-together than the rest of the people in your team and you had a sort of easy-goingness that she was naturally drawn to. She likes looking at you, soft features but sharp and bright eyes.

The first time you two spoke was out of necessity. You were gathering information on the effects of exposure to violence over time within a bunch of heroes and needed permission from a bunch of different people. You chose Ochako because of her unique position as a rescue hero.

And at first, your little meetings were all work related. Surveys and scans and whatever important stuff the job entailed. Ochako's fluttery feelings started surfacing half-way through then, when your jokes became more relaxed. Your demeanor changed. You were starting to be comfortable with her and she liked that.

She's always thought this but she's a little drawn to people who were a little mild. The attractive, smooth way you spoke stopped being a passing thought. Gentle, intelligent, not too familiar but open-minded.

The final nail in the coffin was at Sero's Halloween party where you'd shown up in a lazy werewolf costume with shitty clip-in ears and a leash around your neck - fake fangs getting in the way of your cup. Ochako went as red-riding hood, a coincidence. Maybe it was the alcohol or the comfortable environment.

She doesn't know. She does know that with a few shots in her, she was dragging you around by the collar of your shirt calling you her big bad wolf and you followed her every whim. Let her sit in your lap and even took her home when she got drunk - with a text the next morning reading "hope you slept well, red."

Ever since then, Ochako's been.. kind of avoiding you. She doesn't want to. She's just... too embarrassed to look you in the face. Given her drunkeness, she doesn't remember everything. How you reacted to her, mostly. What if you weren't into her?

It's assuring to hear Bakugou so confident about it but it doesn't ease her nerves all the way.

"You know that new intern that came in last week?"

Ochako hums absent-mindedly.

"She confessed to your little lovebird yesterday." Bakugou says with a sigh. Ochako nods at first before freezing, hand slamming on the counter.

"Wait are you serious?"

"Don't miss your chance, Cheeks." Bakugou says with a sigh.

She takes a minute to gear herself up before stepping out of the kitchen into the office. She catches your eye first, waving and you immediately seem surprised before relaxing into a smile.

Kirishima whispers something to you, seemingly, before you punch his arm and wave him goodbye. Once he leaves, Ochako walks over to you - stopping just in front of you. You give her a grin.

"Thought you ran away from me, Red."

Ocahko feels her stomach flutter with familiar nerves. She resents how good you are at making her flustered.

"I didn't run anywhere." She counters. You chuckle, leaning your head against the wall.

"Good to know. Thought for sure you were leaving me out to dry."

"I wasn't though," She whines, a little taken by your smile "I was just... y'know."

"Do I know?"

"Ugh, seriously. I was just embarrassed, okay? I wasn't gonna avoid you forever." She mumbles, arms crossed over her chest.

Your expression softens a little just for her, and if Ochako didn't see it with her own two eyes - she wouldn't be able to believe it. You smile a little more.

"Yeah? I'm relieved. Thought maybe I should've been a little more strict with you. Assumed I made you uncomfortable."

"Oh, god - not at all, I just couldn't... remember every single thing. I thought maybe you were mad."

"As if I'd ever be mad at you? C'mon now." And you're there again, charming the wits of off her "I had a good time. It was fun being bossed around by you. Maybe I should've applied for sidekick after all."

She covers her face in embarassment.

"You're the worst."

"Big bad wolves usually are."

"Oh my god, shut up. You're so awful!"

You put your hands up in self-defense and she's in a fit of giggles. Heart fluttering so hard she feels like a teenage girl again. She musters up some more courage and looks at you.

"I'm glad I didn't ruin your night."

"I'm glad I didn't ruin yours," You reply back, leaning in a little "Missed seein' your pretty smile."

"Jeez. No wonder all of interns are falling for you."

"Now where'd you hear that from?"

She scoffs a little, playful but sarcastic.

"I've got eyes everywhere, obviously. Do you talk to everyone like that or something? Those poor, naive girls. They don't even know what they're signing up for."

You huff some air through your nose, eyes lowered.

"And what would that be?"

"A wolf in sheeps clothing."

You laugh at her little joke.

"Have some faith me in, will you? I already turned her down."

"Really?"

She makes an attempt at masking her excitement but it's not with much effort. You nod, hands in your pockets.

"Yeah. Told her there was someone else I was interested in."

Ochako feels her heart pound.

"There is?"

"Sure is. Except, she's techincally my boss so I don't really know how I should go about telling her. Tough luck."

Holy shit. You mean her. You give her a coy smile, reaching a hand out to pat her head before you leave.

"I'll see you at lunch, Red."

"Y-yeah. See you,"

You crack one more smile before turning the other way, giving her a final wave before mozying off in the other direction. When she's sure your out of earshot, her knees nearly give in from what was basically a confession.

She turns her head back to the breakroom before running towards, stumbling back in to Bakugou over a cup of coffee. He gives her a bored stare.

"Holy SHIT,"

"Told you so,"

[photmath]

okay this is not. 70 questions asked related totally but Who r u thinking will win this playoff, lakers or warriors? without bias or nun. just your rawwww thoughts

also 16 & 62 🫂 😘

hi gen hiiiii

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I feel pretty good! Have been doing great on my final exams and only have one more left, one more assignment left as well so I'm chilling. Plus, I'm writing a different fic right now and I kind of like where it's going despite it being pretty different than something I've wrote in a while.

62: What makes you happy?

The small things. Remembering little things I've said or sent that I just completely forgot about. I love when people are able to work so tandemly together without it being told, like a friend comforting a scared friend. Or in my instance, when my roomie cooks and I wash the dishes and then we dry the dishes together afterward or vice versa. It's like it goes without saying and we just do it because it's become a habit now, especially in the mornings when we dance around each other to get coffee--and we ignore each other until we've both drank a cup before we start talking because we absolutely hate talking in the morning without it.

I know I speak of my roomie a lot but yeah, she's made me happy for the past two years. I finally got her into football and it's my biggest achievement of my life. I now have a partner to watch these sometimes shitty matches and it makes it worthwhile. 🤭

⇾ Who do I think will win this series? Mmm I actually don't know statistically wise. I haven't been watching basketball this year because of the lack of time like I usually do, only the playoffs, but I would say the Warriors. I think they have too many powerhouses, Steph and Klay--add on Wiggins. And then they also have "underdog" powerhouses like Kevon Looney. Despite them losing Game 1, I thought Looney's 23 rebounds was impressive, and the loss wasn't even a blow-out persay. I feel like Steph and Klay have that balance of if one has a bad game, the other has a great--and Lakers have AD and Lebron doing the same. So it's like it can go either way and agh I'm a little nervous bc of it. But lol I think Lakers biggest weakness is if AD has a bad game, bc although Lebron can lead a team by himself, having AD on his A game makes it a whole lot better. AD was awful Game 2 and if Warriors are able to lock him down like they did, then sheeesh. But if he has good games, YIKES to the Warriors. It's going to be a fun series regardless.

[causenessus]

HI LOVILNESS !! good morning evening or afternoon, i just got home and im like super tired but i miss you so much so i wanted to write back, literally was passed out majority of the drive back BUT we stopped by earls (i think… if i recall….) but it was my first time trying it !! i just had some pasta and it was okay i mean it was food and i was hungry and i literally just passed out again after LOL the night before the drive back i literally just stayed up so i could just sleep the whole drive and it worked!! my neck AND back are super sore so when i came home i took a salt bath and just laid down(i’ve been stuck to my bed ever since coming back home) and i was like i miss ness </3 i have so much to say so this one im gonna be yapping a lot AS PER USUAL LOL

OMG SO the concert was so great like i went with friends right and it was such a good experience like my ears ringing my throat dry TEARS WERE SHEDDED I MUST SAY some of the songs did hit a little too much LOL but it was so so so good like im usually not a concert person because i get overstimulated a lot but this one was so worth it (this is like my third concert though so maybe im a liar) before the concert me and my friends were just walking around the area and shopping(window shopping) and it took us like 20 minutes to actually find where the arena is because we got lost but we followed this other group that had like concert outfits on and we eventually made it! also merch is literally SOOO expensive like my minimum wage job cannot handle it, after the concert i literally just had pizza and stayed up the whole night for the road trip so i was EXTREMELY EXTREMELY TIRED LOL

i hope your day has been better :( like i wish i could sprinkle some special glitter on you like a little tooth fairy and make it all better, I DIDNT KNOW YOU HAD TWO JOBS THATS CRAZY and school on top of all that?? i don’t know how you even manage because i’m barely holding on with just one job that i’ve almost quit like MORE times than i can count (the stress of uni and work is not something i was ever prepared for) but pls take care of yourself !! i understand it gets hard some days so make sure you rest properly after work and between literally… everything you’re juggling like it sounds like so much i don’t know how you do it

IM GLAD I MADE U LAUGH !! no but literally after that experience i pack snacks in my bag now because i wanted to DIE like i wanted to explode right then and there, i like to gaslight myself into thinking that NO ONE remembers but the little voice inside my head is always like (they remember)(they see you as the girl whose stomach was barking the whole class) i totally get the carrot thing because there has been like sometimes where i would be eating and I HEAR MYSELF CHEWING SO LOUD like chips and stuff and it would be so awkward because i was like I DONT NEED TO BE MUNCHING THAT LOUD?? and then putting away the chips too and it’s just CRUMBLING like it’s terrible we need an irl mute button </3

AND YES I GET WHAT YOU MEAN BY THE SOUND AND LIGHT TECH DUO LIKE THATS LITERALLY US?? me and you are so soulmates we are meant to be BUT THATS CRAZY LIKE i was thinking back when reading your response and i was like wait.. YEAH THERE IS A SOUND AND LIGHT TECH DUO!! like someone make a new smau with this idea (LMFAO IM JOKING) (maybe maybe) AND PLS MY SOUND DAYS LIKE no sometimes it was so hard to hear the cast when they’d go through their lines because of the background noise and also the fact that it was just a shitty school play so our mics were terrible BUT IT WAS FUN! being in tech and band like i was literally a high school loser but that’s okay i will say it PROUDLY!! ALSO I KIND OF HAVE A SIMILAR STORY? but it wasn’t me like it was this girl in my year who became like the tech manager?? i’m not really sure how it worked but there was this other kid who was a year above us who was like talking about how he deserved it because seniority and whatever and it caused a HUGE tech drama because the poor girl didn’t ask to be manager like she was assigned and this guy was literally like talking down on her AND I FELT SO BAD?? like tell me why tech crews have so much drama and toxicity it’s literally a common thing LOL

also i will protect you from the weird men do not worry i will stand STRONG AND TALL ON A PODIUM FOR YOU !! BUT PLS THE SKATER BOY ™️ NESS LORE DROP AGAIN? i love the random lore drops this is like minecraft maps where i just walk around and fill in the map but instead its ness lore and a timeline LOL unfortunately i was victim to not one but two of the typical valorant discord people </3 I WILL BLAME IT ON ME BEING YOUNG but now i’m literally just trying to live another day and not fall to the hands of the education system, i will not let them take me down!!

next time i go to a grocery store im gonna try the poke bowls because you talk about it a lot and now i want to try and share my experience LOL im actually like i don’t eat poke bowls that much?? IDK WHY it’s not like i avoid them but i’ve never been like, damn. i want a poke bowl. YK WHAT I MEAN? like i haven’t actually had the whole poke bowl experience but next time i will! your day sounded so hectic i hope you were able to settle down when you got home!!

life is gonna get busier now that school is back up so make sure you remember to eat and take care of yourself !! i hope your days get better because you deserve it !! if any customer or anyone is being mean you can send them my way and i’ll respectfully deck them !!! <3 (said with love for you) (always for you) (never for anyone else) (so maybe not respectfully) I’m so SO SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO SCROLL PASS THIS </3 but but i do sincerely hope your days get better! (i’ve said this maybe three times now) and make sure you eat and take proper care of yourself!! have a good night ness! or morning or afternoon !! xoxoxo

AAAAAAAAA I MISSED YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE!! I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK HOME SAFELY <3 I HOPE YOU RESTED AND ARE DOING GOOD!! sorry it took me a little bit to reply </3 i've never heard of earls but i'm sorry the pasta wasn't life changing 😭😭😭 i'm glad you're home though and were able to sleep most of the time!! and aa a salt bath -> bed sounds like the most relaxing combo ever i hope you had a good sleep and your neck is better now <3

I'M GLAD THE CONCERT WAS GOOD!!! I WANTED TO ASK WHAT CONCERT IT WAS but only if you're comfortable sharing!! and i also totally get not liking them a lot 😭 tbh i've only ever been to one concert (it was for declan mckenna <3) and it was SO good it was super niche but also like,,, i was fighting my life with all these cool scary girls with septums and bleached hair in pigtails with their twink bfs smelling like weed,,, and also i got super distracted by their bassist and he was kind of eating it up bc i was recording him the whole time.....and it was super loud and lowkey overstimulating being near so many other people who are all screaming 😭 BUT THEY'RE KIND OF FUN AT THE SAME TIME!! ESP IF THE VIBES ARE GOOD SO IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME <3 and omg fr merch is so expensive 😭 like i think mitski is coming to my state this month??? and i was lowkey interested?? but tickets ALONE were like $100+ and i was like....oh....so actually i can't afford that... 🤠🤠 I'M SURE YOU WERE TIRED AFTER THO!!! AND CONCERTS ARE ALWAYS IN LIKE THE MOST FAR AWAY PLACES EVER TRYING TO DRIVE HOME AFTER THEM IS THE WORST THING EVER

AND NO 😭 UNI + SCHOOL IS SO STRESSFUL basically (this is super just over the top details u don't have to read this part if u don't want to) but this second job as a hostess i have is an on and off job i've had for years. i think i started it my sophomore year in school??? when i was like 15 so it lowkey was not legal... but ANYWAY i kept that up for like maybe a year but that job was SO stressful i felt so bad like i was at fault everytime the servers got a bad table that i had to quit (and also i hated how mundane it felt working EVERY friday and saturday bc they were like the only full days i got to really rest bc of school but work took up that time) but sometimes they ask if i can come in and i will since it's not too bad ever so often??? but then i got looped in to working like every saturday there lately 😭 bc their actual hostess like went on vacation in july and then injured her knee so i'm basically covering for her all of august AND THEN SHE FELL AND INJURED IT AGAIN before her surgery so now i'm also working there all of september......which is also when i start the horrors of stage managing so it'll be uni + theatre + work!!!!! (i will kms) (mango anon talking to u will be my only saving grace i swear) (since this job takes up my saturday nights and mon-fri + saturday mornings takes up school + uni but i also have to work at my retail job especially starting in october bc that's when we get really busy i will be working every sunday so basically i'll just be a skeleton!!!)

THE GIRL WHOSE STOMACH WAS BARKING THE WHOLE CLASS PLEASE I LAUGHED SO HARD LMAOAOAO but ur so right!! with all this technology we should NOT be having such loud crinkly bags and we need a mute button!!

SOUND LIGHT TECH DUO!! I DON'T JUST THINK MANGO ANON I KNOW WE'RE SOULMATES!! please and ik that working sound with u would have made my high school career 100000x better like,,, mango anon pls fly here and run sound for this show i'm stage managing so i don't have to deal with stupid kids... 😭😭 AND AAA A LIGHT + SOUND DUO SMAU???? MANGO ANON YOU ARE GIVING ME IDEAS!!! i literally paused to write things down omg... it's another suna smau xxx i will never be over him AND I DON'T WANT TO BE OVER HIM!!! AND YOU BEST BELIEVE I WILL BE MENTIONING YOU AS A NOTE IN THE MLIST AND BE LIKE "THIS IDEA CAME FROM MY AMAZING MANGO ANON!!!" but PLEASE that's always the struggle like u can never hear the cast during plays bc none of them can project to save their lives and then during musicals their mics all die at the worst points ever so like wtf why do we even try anyway 😭😭😭 watching the sound people go through the five stages of grief and like every single layer of hell whenever mics die is the worst i always feel so so bad 😭😭 i once helped them completely rewire their ethernet connection bc we had no idea why like the sound board was NOT speaking to the rest of the system omg i don't want to think about those times anymore 💀 /lh AND I FEEL SO BAD FOR THE TECH MANAGER GIRL TOO LIKE BRO IF SHE GOT THROWN IN AND EVERYTHING LIKE THIS GUY HAS NO RIGHT TO BE TALKING HER DOWN IK SHE WAS UNDER SO MUCH PRESSURE TOO THAT'S HORRIBLE </33 I'LL BE SENDING AN ETSY WITCH HIS WAY NOW!! but ig ur right tech crew (and actor) toxicity is inevitable </3

LMAOAOAOAOO THE MINECRAFT MAPS IT'S OKAY ANON i was victim to a discord man as well </33 hold on we'll lore drop him here instead and do skater boy next time and like I'M THROWING NAMES IN HERE IDGAF IF HE'S READING SILLY HAIKYUU X FEM READERS THAN I THINK HE HAS BIGGER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT THAN ME NAME DROPPING HIM /J not really name dropping but i called him omelette king LMAO but anyway i met OK (omelette king for short LMAOAO) on roblox during peak quarantine and we had like a 4 person group but him and me got really close and he'd do things like call me cutie and i was just 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 STOP SORRY i'm having ptsd flashbacks we had a lot of discussions that were very strange. and then he'd make me play knockoff undertale pvp roblox games with him but i was so bad at them and he called me boring for not wanting to play them with him and yeah!! long story short one day i messaged him a paragraph about how toxic he was and then blocked him like a boss!!! if u have any lore drops I WOULD LOVE TO ALSO HEAR THEM!!!

but YES!! if u try a poke bowl lmk what you think of it!! i'm sure i could find better ones at like an actual poke place but like groccery stores are most convenient for me 😭 and i like their cheap rice idk it's just the imitation crab and whatever makes it spicy that throws me off i think just bc i'm not used to eating anything like it </33

AND PLEASE DO NOT BE SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS!!! I LOVED LIKE WRITING MYSELF NOTES ON HOW I WANTED TO REPLY AAA THIS WAS SO SO FUN I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN AND I LOVE YOU SM MANGO ANON!! <333 INSTEAD OF SENDING BAD CUSTOMERS UR WAY U SHOULD JUST COME TO ME!!! and make sure to take care of yourself as well please!! AND TODAY WAS A BIT BETTER!! hopefully this week goes better and i think it will as i get more into the groove of my new schedule </3 (which is unfortunate but it's my reality so ALAS) and thank you so much lovely!! DW um honestly like i got home from work today and was like "man i just want a bagel for dinner" and then i was like "wait what have i even eaten today?" and i realized i completely skipped lunch on accident 😭😭 bc i ate breakfast at like 10 and then went to work at 2 so i had no time!! but then my first thought was immediately "OH NO MANGO ANON'S GOING TO BE SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME </3" so i made sure to like actually eat an actual meal (eggs and toast again bc i'm in my depression meal era rn and am trying to get out of it rn but it's very hard. also i lost my appetite halfway thru but i ate it anyway LMAOAO)!! I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY AND THAT YOUR NECK IS FEELING BETTER! I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR FROM U AGAIN <33

[atlabeth]

the cut that always bleeds - rafe cameron

wish you were sober (part one)

summary: one night and a couple drinks is all it takes for you to decide to try something new, and for rafe cameron to start feeling jealous.

a/n: so this only took forever and a day to come out lol i hope people still want this. special thanks to my love ri (@lurkymurker) for lending the name noah for y/n's boy, make sure u go read her euro trip universe to meet noah white instead of noah luxford (and a much nicer rafe cameron). they're actually friends over there not weird love rivals

wc: 3.8k

warning(s): rafe is still an asshole but this time he's a jealous asshole! parties, drinking, cursing, more of that unhealthy dynamic but this time y/n has some self respect, tiny bit of fighting and mention of bleeding

You wanted to go home.

You didn't even know why you were here. The music bumping through the speakers was making your skull throb, the flashing lights all over the place only adding to your headache. There were way too many people for any kind of comfort, and you knew for a fact that you could go without being one of them.

This, like many other things, was only happening because of Rafe Cameron. He begged you to come, told you that he would stay with you and make sure you have a good time — but as usual, he left you alone and disappointed. You shouldn’t have been surprised at this point, but the cut still stung.

At least you had some shitty beer to dull the pain. Usually you ended up driving, but since the party was at Rafe’s house you didn’t have to worry about getting him or yourself home — you could just walk. Tipsy enough to not question what the fuck you’re doing here, sober enough to stay legible.

It had been a few weeks since you snuck out in the middle of the night to drive Rafe home, and you had spent a majority of them confined to the house. Apparently your parents were lighter sleepers than you thought, because the next morning when you came down for breakfast, they confronted you about ditching. They rewarded you for your selfless act by grounding you for three weeks. Was it worth it? Not really.

Of course, Rafe tried to convince you to sneak out again, even though he was the reason you were in this mess in the first place. You told him you weren’t going to risk getting your house arrest extended and he reluctantly accepted it, but the day you were free he insisted on getting you out. “Party tomorrow night, my house, you super drunk” — his words.

Here you were, though — only partially drunk but completely miserable.

You didn’t know what the fuck Rafe Cameron wanted from you.

You’d been friends with him since sixth grade, after your parents started going full kook and trying their best to cement their place in high society. That meant impossible standards for everything in your life, hardly any free time, and parties that doubled as business opportunities on the weekends filled with uncomfortable dresses, too much makeup, and permanent blisters from heels.

The one bright side of it was all the friends you got to make. Kook kids, before their egos kicked in, were actually fun to be around. Kelce, Topper, and Rafe became your saving grace every time you were forced to come alongside your parents to parties disguised as negotiations, and you actually found yourself looking forward to Midsummers every year — it meant you got to hang out with them, and they always made everything better.

But with age, things only got worse. Freshman year was when it all started to go downhill, when Rafe started to realize how much power he really had as a Cameron. They might have been new money compared to some of the other families on the other island, but they still had a shit ton of it — he was practically untouchable. Maybe that’s why he started to become such an asshole.

He grew into his looks, from a slightly lanky middle schooler to a devastatingly gorgeous high schooler with a fuckboy reputation he didn’t bother to dispute. Some of your friends said it was a rite of passage to have a crush on Rafe Cameron at least once in high school — you’re sure you’ve served your sentence three times over.

Somewhere along the way, he stopped caring about you the way he used to.

He went from the boy who cracked jokes to make you feel better after you failed your first test in eighth grade to someone you found yourself apologizing for constantly, because when he got drunk he couldn’t hold his tongue or his fists.

He went from the boy that would stay by your side throughout the whole night when your parents ignored you in favor of a business opportunity to someone that called you in the middle of the night, needing a ride because everyone else has left and he’s blackout drunk.

He went from the boy who comforted you when you cried to the one who caused the tears to fall in the first place.

He went from being Rafe Cameron, the boy you fell for, to Rafe Cameron, someone you didn’t even recognize. Trapped in a miserable yearning for love that you weren’t even sure you wanted anymore.

“Hey. This spot taken?”

You were snapped out of your embarrassingly pitiful thoughts by the sound of a voice, and you glanced up at a guy offering a slight smile. You huffed a laugh and shook your head, gesturing with your bottle at the spot. “Sit away.”

He nodded and settled onto the couch next to you. A couple moments passed before he said anything.

“You don’t exactly look like you’re having the greatest time,” he noted. “What’re you doing at a party like this?”

You sighed and knocked back the rest of your beer, staring at the empty bottle as you spun it around. “Rafe Cameron.”

“It is his party.”

“Yeah.” You sighed again and sat up, setting the bottle on the table in front of you. “He basically begged me to come here.”

He frowned and made a show of looking around before his eyes returned back to you. “If he wanted you here, then where the hell is he?”

You huffed a dry laugh, gaze still pointed at the floor. “That’s what I’ve been asking myself for a long time.”

“I’m surprised,” he admitted with a slight shrug, “I’m used to seeing you around him all the time. Finally got sick of him?”

You sighed and glanced up at him. “Didn’t know it was that obvious. It feels like I spend a lot more time following him around than he does actually paying attention, though.”

He gave you a smile of his own, and you were surprised at how much you liked it. “I’m not the best with advice, but I think that’s a pretty good sign you should give him up.”

“Believe me,” you muttered, “I’ve tried.”

The more you looked at this guy, the more the recognition started to trickle in. Your eyes narrowed slightly, but then the lightbulb went off. “You’re in my calc class.”

“Guilty as charged. Right next to Mr. Hartman’s desk.” He grinned, running a hand through his hair before holding it out after a bit of hesitation. “Noah Luxford. I didn’t even think you noticed me.”

You shrugged, the corners of your lips quirking up as you shook his hand. “Please. I’ve known who you were ever since freshman orientation. Besides, it’s pretty hard not to notice someone who looks like you.” Maybe it was the alcohol making you more open, or maybe Rafe’s absence tonight was the last straw. Either way, his smile was doing things to you, and you were shockingly on board with it.

He chuckled. “It took you a while to remember me, though.”

You brushed it off with a wave of your hand. “Just because I’m drunk enough to forget your name doesn’t mean I’m not sober enough to know how hot you are.”

Noah raised an eyebrow. “You think I’m hot?”

“Yes. I mean— no— not that you aren’t hot, because you are, but—” You cringed as you let your head fall back against the sofa, turning your head so you could face him. “Can we start over?”

He laughed and nodded, holding his hand out yet again. “Noah Luxford. Pleased to meet you.”

You smiled and shook it. “Y/N L/N. The pleasure’s all mine.”

-

You and Noah spent far too long just sitting and talking to each other, paying no mind to the party around you but every bit of attention to him. You were surprised at how much you had in common — even though the only class you shared was calc, he also had a passion for forensics and the two of you talked about chemistry and future plans for at least an hour.

It felt natural, easy, to be around Noah. You didn’t have to walk on eggshells with what you said, hoping it wouldn’t set him off. You didn’t feel bad going on a tangent about something you thought was interesting because it was a “waste of time”. You felt appreciated, truly, and you realized you hadn’t felt that way around Rafe in a long time.

But your party tolerance was remarkably low, and the headache that’d slowly been creeping in was now in full force.

“Hey, are you okay?” Noah’s voice brought you out of it and you blinked a few times. “That’s the fifth time you’ve grimaced like that in ten minutes.”

“Just a headache,” you admitted, surprised that he had even noticed. “I’m not really a party person, to be honest. Every party I’ve been to has… kind of been for Rafe.” You huffed a laugh and let your head fall back against the couch. “God. I can’t believe it’s taken me that long to realize how pathetic that sounds.”

“At least you finally have,” he supplied. “Rafe Cameron is a complete tool — he doesn’t, and he never will deserve someone like you.”

“He really is, isn’t he?” You sat up, strangely reinvigorated at the chance to mock him. “You know, we have been friends— best friends— for five years, I’ve been in love with him for three of them, and he has never said anything about it! A-and I know that he knows because he constantly uses it against me to get things he wants, but he has never paid the favor back!” You ran a weary hand through your hair and shook your head. “I hate him! I— I hate him!”

“It honestly sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” Noah said with a slight laugh. “So why can’t you let him go?”

You shook your head, your voice dropping to little more than a whisper. “I have no idea.”

Noah’s gaze stayed pinned on you for a couple minutes before he offered his hand. “Then let’s get outta here.”

For years you had sat on the sidelines with the misplaced hope that Rafe would notice you. You’d been trying so hard to prove yourself to him, to make him see you how you saw him, that you never put much thought into everything you had been missing, the guys that saw you the way you saw Rafe that you never even noticed.

Your heart broke at Noah’s kind eyes, and you wondered how long opportunities like this had passed you by because you were blinded by Rafe Cameron.

“I’m not asking for anything,” he clarified in your silence, his eyes slightly widened. “I— I think it’s pretty obvious that I like you, but I just wanna help you see who you can be without that asshole draining everything out of you. I’m totally—”

He was interrupted as you leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto his lips, something that he reciprocated after a beat of shock. It felt better than anything, and you knew immediately that you were making the right choice. You just wished that you had made it sooner.

“That sounds perfect,” you murmured with a smile.

His grin only widened as you took his hand and he pulled you up, leading you through the crowd with his calloused yet gentle grip.

Maybe it was time for something new.

“You know, I was serious about what I said.” The two of you were still holding hands as you walked out to his car, and the gesture was immensely comforting. “I’m not just trying to get you back to my place or anything. I, uh— I have Mamma Mia on DVD, if you wanna do that and some popcorn.”

You laughed, unable to help the bright smile that took over. “That honestly sounds like the perfect way to end the night. Way better than staying here and getting to listen to a drunk Rafe Cameron list off all his problems.”

Noah chuckled as well, and as you got to his car he opened the passenger side for you. You thanked him with a smile and he circled around to the other side, giving you a smile of his own as he sat down. “I think most things are better than that.”

“Yeah, for real.” You went to take your purse off when you realized you didn’t have it, and you huffed a sigh. “Shit. I left my purse inside.”

“Don’t worry. I can get it.” Noah pushed the door open and glanced back at you. “Is it back where we were sitting?”

You nodded. “On the table. You’re the best.”

He grinned and you noticed the light blush dusting his cheeks. “I try.”

—

Rafe Cameron was bored.

He had already made a couple thousand off some tourons willing to pay way too much for a couple lines, but it was the same old thing after a few hours. He’d made enough to pay Barry back for his most recent deal, and that was really all he cared about. He was bored, so maybe that was why he found himself heading back to the living room to find you. Well, after he remembered that he had invited you in the first place.

But Rafe had been looking around for at least ten minutes, and there was no sign of you. The thought that you’d already left struck him, but he brushed that off. You’d stayed at parties way worse than this one for way longer just for him; must’ve just moved around a couple times while he was going between areas.

He walked inside from the pool and stopped by a couple of girls by the window, putting on his best smile. “Hey; any of you guys know where Y/N is? Y/N L/N?”

One of them pointed over at an empty sofa in the living room. “Last I saw, she was there with some guy. I think she left with him.”

His smile immediately dissolved into a scowl. “Who?”

She shrugged, but one of her friends spoke up. “Noah Luxford, I think. They were there talking the entire night, and I’m pretty sure I saw them kiss.”

Rafe blinked, his expression hardening. “What?”

But he was already off before she could answer, and Rafe was all the more thankful for the loose lips of drunk, gossiping party girls because when he reached the sofa she pointed at, a guy was there picking up a purse. He recognized it as yours, the gaudy Vera Bradley bag something he remembered your mom getting you for your fifteenth birthday. He had no idea why you still used it; it was a complete eyesore.

“Hey!” he called, and the guy looked up. “You Noah Luxford?”

He chuckled as he nodded and shoved his free hand in his pocket. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

“I heard you spent the night with Y/N,” Rafe said, getting a good look at the boy as he got closer. He had to say, he wasn’t impressed. “You kissed her, too.”

“Rafe Cameron,” Noah said, and he offered a mirthless smile. “Yeah, we talked about you a lot. You’ve really fucked with her, man. It’s not a great look.”

Rafe raised his eyebrows. “You spent the whole night talking to her about me, and you think it’s okay to kiss her?”

Noah huffed a laugh. “You’re an asshole, man. You’ve been so used to having her around, doing every little thing for you, that you never noticed how lucky you were to even have her look at you the way she did. She’s too good for you, and she’s finally realized it.”

Rafe scoffed and took a step closer, sizing him up. “Who even are you, dude? You don’t know anything about us. Y/N and I, we go way back. And you’re— what? Some guy trying to pick her up at a party that thinks he’s hot shit?”

“No. I’m a guy that’s taken the time to get to know her and I’ve realized how amazing she is.” He smiled, but there’s no heart in it. “But I can see why you’d think that. It’s the kinda shit you pull all the time.”

Rafe felt his hands curl into fists unconsciously, and it took all his willpower to stay put. “Stay the fuck away from her.”

Noah just shook his head, his brows furrowing as he stared at him. “You think you have a claim over her after all the shit you’ve put her through? She came to this party for you, and you ignored her the whole time— you’ve been ignoring her for years. Get a fucking grip, man.”

For some reason, that was what made him lose his control. Before Rafe knew what he was doing his fist was flying through the air and connecting with Noah’s face. He staggered backwards as his hand shot up to nurse the wound — Rafe was glad he decided to wear his dad’s college ring tonight, because the trickle of blood down his cheek gave him a sick swell of pride. By now there was a crowd around him, so he just gave Noah a lazy smile.

“Get the fuck out of my house, and stay away from Y/N. I’m not gonna give you another warning.”

Noah just wiped the blood off his cheek and laughed, though it was more strained than before. “Keep threatening me, man. That’s really gonna make her want you.”

“She’s wanted me for years,” Rafe spat, his bravado a mix of inherent cockiness and all the alcohol in his system. “I don’t think it’ll be too hard to get her back.”

“You’re insane.” He winced as he touched the wound, and he started backing up. “Get some help Rafe, seriously. Leave the one person you’ve managed not to taint alone and go hook up with a girl as horrible as you. You’ve had no problem finding them in the past.”

Noah turned and walked off, leaving Rafe silently simmering with a set jaw and fists clenched so tightly they were turning white. He looked around, finally noticing the silence of the crowd and the weight of their eyes on him.

“The fuck are you all looking at?” he growled, and he stalked off before anyone had the chance to say anything else.

Noah made him irrationally angry — the way he had talked about you, the way he had talked about him, like he knew anything. There was an unfamiliar tightness in his chest that he couldn’t handle, and he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you kissing Noah, and the only thing that really brought relief from that was thinking about all the satisfaction that punching him brought.

And that was when it struck him, the realization hitting like a ton of bricks.

He was fucking jealous.

-

You passed the time until Noah got back by idly scrolling through your phone, only coming back to it when he opened the other door.

“One purse for the lady.” He set it in your lap as he got into the driver’s seat, his breathing slightly heavy as he buckled his seatbelt. You were about to thank him when you looked over and saw blood all over his cheek, the skin around it already a mottled purple.

“What the fuck happened to you?” you gasped, pushing up from your slouched position so you could get a better look. You barely touched the area and he winced, causing you to withdraw your hand carefully but still hovering over him.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, rummaging around in his console before he pulled out a few tissues and pressed them against the wound. “Cameron’s a real piece of work.”

“He did this to you?” You reached for the door handle but Noah put his free hand on your other arm, stopping you with his gentle touch.

“Don’t go back in there. It won’t do any good.”

“Well, he did this to you for no fucking reason — you might be able to sit back and let him, but I’m not.”

“He did this because he sucks,” Noah said with a slight chuckle. “You’re not gonna be able to talk any kind of sense into him. Besides, you shouldn’t be around him right now.”

You shook your head. “He won’t do anything to me. We’ve been friends forever — I can talk some sense into him.”

“Y/N—“ Noah rubbed a hand against his forehead and looked at you with sympathetic eyes. “You give him way too much credit. Do you really wanna know what happened in there?”

You nodded, and he sighed.

“He told me to stay away from you. He has this— this insane possessiveness over you for no reason; I mean, he punched me for saying that you deserved better than him.” Noah heaved another sigh, his lip curled in disgust. “He said that you’ve wanted him for years, so it wouldn’t be hard to get you back. Almost his exact words.”

That familiar tightness in your chest, one you’d come to associate with Rafe, came back and you found it hard to breathe as you stared out the windshield. Rafe never paid attention to you nowadays except when he wanted something, and he never showed any kind of interest in you. He was an asshole, plain and simple, and that was it.

But now— now, he was punching the first guy you’d liked apart from him in years and flaunting that he could get you back?

“What the hell is wrong with him?” you breathed, huffing an incredulous laugh. “It doesn’t make any sense. He— he hasn’t cared about me in years, and now he’s pulling shit like this?”

“I don’t know,” Noah said quietly. “All I know is that he’s not someone you should be around.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, letting out a loose breath, and you managed a small smile as you looked over at him. “I think now’s a good time to go.”

Noah nodded too, starting the car to fill the silence. Once he got back on the road, he glanced at you with surprisingly soft eyes.

“It’ll be okay,” he reassured.

“Yeah,” you said again, and you reached across the console to take his free hand. Noah smiled and squeezed your hand, the gesture exactly what you needed. “I think it will be.”

-

You sat on the sofa with Noah in his living room, one arm around your waist, the other holding a bag of ice to his cheek, and your head resting on his chest, when you felt your phone buzz twice. You took it out of your pocket, a frown immediately tugging at your lips when you saw who it was.

Rafe: Hey, where are you? I’ve been looking for you everywhere

Rafe: I’ve also been thinking about you. would be cool to see you

You snorted a laugh and tossed your phone onto the table. “Asshole,” you muttered.

Noah glanced over at you. “Who was that?”

You shook your head. “No one important.”

Noah smiled. “Cool.”

You smiled as well. “Cool indeed.”

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz

obx tags: @pogueslandia @lilgoddesshines

[babyboibucky]

Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious.  Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

-

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[ahtsumu]

long shots ; miya osamu

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

synopsis: miya osamu is the teacher’s assistant for food chemistry i. you can’t stop thinking about him.

tag(s): college!au, slow burn, TA!miya osamu, grad student!reader, fluff, reader is a go-getter!! ; warning(s): profanity, suggestive themes, talk of insecurities and imposter syndrome ; wc: 5.6k

a/n: happy birthday to @starrysamu​! i love u. pls excuse any errors. i’ll weed them out later! btw this fic is not a sugar daddy au LOL

HIS NAME IS Miya Osamu and he always looks like he has it all figured out. Comes in every class with his black hair perfectly tousled, the sleeves of his dark button-up rolled to his elbows, a cup of coffee in one hand and the strap of that black messenger bag in another.

“He drives a BMW, did ya know?” Isla says in your ear one morning. Your only friend in Food Chemistry I gives you a pointed look before sitting back in her chair in the lecture hall with a smirk on her face. “Saw it this morning. Bet he’s loaded.” The two of you watch the subject in question walk across the classroom and settle in his seat at the table in the corner.

“Shut up,” you whisper with wide eyes. A grin–– far from innocent–– makes its way onto your face. “Imagine being Miya Osamu’s sugar baby.”

“He’s not old enough to be a sugar daddy.” Isla looks at her nails disinterestedly. “And that’s too many AUs in one. He’s already the TA, for god’s sake. This isn’t some shitty Wattpad novel.”

A light giggle slips out of your lips. “I can see the title already. My Sugar Daddy is the TA?!”

Now, if anyone had been listening in on your conversation, they would’ve assumed many things about you. The first being that you’re both gold-diggers. This is untrue–– at least, in your case. Isla, you’re not so sure about, given how your friendship only goes back about one month. But she tags you in memes on Instagram so maybe it’s as real as real gets. Their second assumption would be that you have a big fat crush on your TA. That one’s complicated, mostly because it’s true, but only kinda. It all started in the second week of school when Isla caught you staring at Osamu and slipped you a post-it note with both your initials encircled in a heart. And, because you’re shameless with a good sense of humour, you made a show of kissing it while she was looking. And thus began your meaningless but incredibly entertaining, satirical, co-written fantasy about Miya Osamu.

It also didn’t help that on the first essay you got back, Isla’s paper had been marked up with “are you sure?”s and “this is a jump”s, while yours had “excellent reasoning” and “insightful analysis”. You’d even gotten a little comment at the bottom: y/n, fantastic work. you should speak up in class more often. –– OM

But Miya Osamu doesn’t play favourites because the next week you’d gotten another essay back, this time with another comment at the bottom: y/n, not your best work. you could’ve done better by connecting your first paragraph with the second using grant’s reading. conclusion lacked punch, too. all the best. –– OM

Every time you’d read the words scrawled in blue ink, you’d felt a pair of eyes on you. But you chalk it up to Osamu being a careful grader. A good TA. Someone who cares about his students.

Isla calls bullshit on that. You’re not really sure how to feel about her stance.

The classroom door opens and shuts again. You don’t have to look at your phone to know that it’s nine on the dot. Instead, you and Isla straighten your backs, pull out your notebooks, and focus. Your no-nonsense professor says “good morning” in her usual perky manner before jumping right into her keynote presentation.

“Did you all find the reading okay?” Professor Lee asks an hour into the lecture.

A chorus of “yes”s fill the air. You bite your lip, wondering if revealing that you didn’t understand shit will out you as the class idiot. Or maybe your silence is telling enough–– maybe the people in the seats beside you have noticed the grimace on your face and are having thoughts like ‘gee whiz, am I glad I’m not dumb like her’. Heat rushes to your cheeks. Sometimes you really wonder if you’re smart enough to be here. Occurrences like these do nothing to dispel your insecurities.

You vaguely hear her ask something like, “Any thoughts about the reading?” It’s not that you’re actually dumb. It’s just that this class is ridiculously hard for an introductory course, even for a graduate programme. From the start of the semester til now, fifteen people have dropped the class. There’s just twenty of you left. Guess a ridiculously hot TA can’t save a course’s drop-rate.

Before you can make your mind up on what to say, your professor moves on from her question.

As you look off to the side of the room for a break from your thoughts, you find a pair of blue-grey eyes pointed in your direction.

Everything about you, from the expression on your face to the way your muscles tense, makes you look like a deer caught in headlights–– even though he was the one caught staring in the first place. So maybe your shamelessness works on a scale.

Miya Osamu lifts one corner of his mouth.

And as if the exchange hadn’t happened at all, he looks back down at his laptop and continues typing.

The rest of the lecture goes through one ear and out the other.

“Everyone, I believe Osamu has something he wants to say,” Professor Lee says as everyone begins packing their bags.

The raven-haired TA slides out of his seat and sits on top of his desk. “Yeah.” Osamu clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. You notice how the muscles in his arms bulge from the movement.

“Whipped,” Isla mutters, grinning mischievously.

“Him for me,” you whisper back, though your eyes do travel back to his face where they should’ve been all along. Osamu catches your gaze and holds it. And then he looks away again.

“Now, I know you’re all Nobel prizewinners in the making,” he begins, garnering a round of snickers and giggles from your classmates. Most people say that cliques dissolve in college. That there’s no such thing as popularity amongst graduate students. That much, you agree with. But no one ever said anything about popular teacher’s assistants. Especially smart, attractive, witty teacher’s assistants like Miya Osamu. “But in case you didn’t understand the reading or would like to develop a deeper understanding of it, don’t hesitate to email me. I’ll try to host a review session all of us can attend.”

Professor Lee smiles appreciatively at Osamu, adding, “That’s a wonderful idea, Osamu. Guys, please take this opportunity if you struggled with the reading. I know eighty pages is a lot, but our next three classes are structured around the concepts in the reading and the mid-term next week will almost exclusively be about it, too.”

Well, shit.

To: m.osamu@hqu.edu

Hi Osamu,

I was wondering if I could get some help with the reading from last class. To be frank, I couldn’t make it past page 15 and I’m lost like a snot-faced five-year-old in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Sorry. Thanks in advance!

Regretfully,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: m.osamu@hqu.edu

no problem. is 5 pm tomorrow at jack’s okay? we start on the concepts from the reading next class so i want to get you up to speed asap. let me know. thanks.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

It’s five minutes to five when you pull into the parking lot of Jack’s Diner. The shiny, retrofuturistic eatery is a university favourite but the empty parking lot tells you it’s completely deserted right now (and rightfully so–– who eats dinner before six?). The black BMW parked a few spots from your car, however, says that you’re not alone.

Osamu’s figure comes into view as you reach for the handle to the front door of Jack’s. The twenty-six-year-old sits by himself at one of the bright red tables in the back, typing away on his dark grey laptop.

His head lifts up at the sound of the opening door. Osamu calls out your name and waves you over.

“Hi,” you greet with a smile, sitting down across from him.

“Hey.”

You look around before leaning forward on the table. “Is anyone else coming?”

“No.” Osamu sits back in his seat. “I thought about hosting one big group, but then I realised that it’d probably be stressful for the staff here.” He nods his head in the direction of the kitchen. “And I had a hunch that everyone would have different questions. Forcing everyone to review concepts they already know is a waste of time.”

At first, you nod. That makes sense. But then you furrow your brows. “So how long have you been here?”

Osamu blinks. He hadn’t expected you to ask about him. “Hmm? Oh.” He taps his phone to check the time. “Just a while.”

Quirking a brow, you ask, “And how long is ‘a while’ to you?”

“Seven hours,” he admits, chuckling lightly when he sees your jaw drop. “A lot of people had questions. They just don’t act like they do. Anyway, time flies. Really, it does.” Quickly, he clears his throat and sits forward. “So, about your email.” He grins. “Not sure if you meant it to be funny, but it was.”

“I’m glad my distress was entertaining for you. Do you TA just to watch grad students suffer?”

“Perks of the job,” Osamu says. His grin widens when you giggle. He’s never heard you laugh before and he realises at that moment that it’s really nice. And then that same grin falters. Gracefully, of course, and imperceptibly to you. But not to him. Is it okay for him to be… thinking things like that? About a student? But you’re not really his student since he’s just the TA. Right? Osamu ignores the weird feeling that comes over him and clasps his hands together at the edge of his laptop. “Back to your email. Can ya tell me what you’re confused about?”

Three hours and two Impossible Burgers later, you suddenly understand everything about food molecules so well that you wonder why you’d even been confused in the first place. But besides that, you’ve also picked up things about Osamu. As a person and not an idea. Not that you’d been actively searching for fun facts about your TA. But they’d stuck to your brain like gum at the bottom of a desk. He likes to slip sarcastic quips into a conversation every now and then. Eats burgers upside down (“The right way,” as he’d said, smirking). Is friendlier than he looks.

“You’re really good at explaining things,” you comment as Osamu shuts his laptop closed.

“Well, I kinda have to be,” he says. And maybe it’s the mental fatigue catching up on him or the fact that he’s real fond of the reason why he can break big concepts down into morsels but suddenly, the rest of his thoughts spill out his mouth like wine. “I have a twin brother with potato salad for brains.”

“Oh?”

And before he can stop himself, he tells you about Miya Atsumu, the pro-athlete you’ve definitely heard of but never gave too much thought. And then you hold onto the fact that they were both on the volleyball team and you ask of which school, so then he tells you about Inarizaki, the high school he attended, and then his decision not to go pro to go to college, and then––

“Sorry,” he laughs, cheeks turning pink. “You probably didn’t need to hear all that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you say–– and you mean it. “Your life is interesting.”

Osamu leans back in his chair. “Well, I’m sure yours is, too.” He holds your gaze like it’s the key to your presence. It’s an invitation. The kind that comes from people who don’t really know if they want you around but also don’t want you gone.

You take it.

Osamu shouldn’t–– he really shouldn’t–– but he wonders about the things you didn’t tell him the entire drive home.

Isla laughs when you tell her about what happened at Jack’s. You lay in bed with your phone next to you on speaker, your face turned on your pillow so that you’re staring out the window at the city below.

“He wants you,” she sings.

“Or he was just being nice.”

“Methinks not!” Isla giggles. “He’s intrigued, girl! You’re like that cute little new mystery in his life and he just wants to get to know you.”

“I think he was just being polite.”

“Or he’s crushing on you!”

“In your dreams.”

“You mean yours? Boo, you’re no fun today. Usually, you go along with the jokes.” Isla’s tone is playful on the surface but full of implications.

A few silent seconds pass. Yeah, you think, agreeing. I do.

“Girl,” Isla drags out the word in a high pitch, saying it like a scientist says ‘eureka’. “You’re not playing along anymore because it’s real now. You're actually catching feelings!”

“Am not!” you laugh.

“The Y/N I knew would’ve said ‘nah, bitch, he’s catching feelings’ and I think that says all there is to say.”

“Okay, I think he’s cute but it’s not a crush,” you concede, grinning. “And he’s the TA, Isles. It’d never happen.”

“Not while he’s still a TA in a class you take.”

“Isla.”

“Ask him out once this semester ends! Unless you’re chicken.”

“I’m not asking him out.”

“Knew you were––”

“Have you seen me? He’s asking me out.”

Miya Osamu walks through the door at eight-fifty as usual that next morning, dressed in his usual button-up, holding his usual cup of coffee. But this time, as the rest of his tall frame passes through the doorway, Osamu’s eyes subtly scan the faces in the lecture hall, lingering for just a while over yours. The corners of your lips turn up. You hope he saw that.

“Bitch!” Isla whisper-screams. The students sitting around you turn around at the noise and grin at each other when they realise it’s just Isla being… well, Isla. She shoos them away jokingly.

“What?” you whisper back.

“Care to explain why our TA was literally eye-fucking you?”

“That was hardly eye-fucking,” you retort. “Maybe like an eye-handshake.”

“Yeah, a naked eye-handshake where his thang is handshaking your––”

He does it again the next class.

And the next.

And then he doesn’t. Miya Osamu walks through the door to Food Chemistry I at eight-fifty in the morning in a navy blue button-up with a cup of coffee in his hand and looks through the rows of seats in the lecture hall for your face, only to find it missing.

He debates pressing the matter.

To: m.osamu@hqu.edu

hey osamu,

i wasn’t in class today because i’ve been sick with the flu (no big deal, just feel like i’m dying). a classmate sent me pictures of the slides from today so i think i should be fine, but is it okay if i email you with any questions? thank you very much!

miserably,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: m.osamu@hqu.edu

y/n,

of course. sorry to hear that you’re sick. let me know if i can do anything to help you. the midterm is next week. get well soon.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

“You writing that the midterm is next week did not offer me any peace of mind, by the way,” you say, spinning around in your chair as Miya Osamu enters your pod in the library.

He offers you a wry grin. “Hello to ya, too.”

“Was that an accent?” You thought you’d heard one at Jack’s, but you couldn’t be sure because it’d been so spotty.

Osamu slips into the seat beside yours and pulls out the laptop in his messenger bag. You catch a whiff of his cologne–– something spicy and woody, but clean. It suits him. “Nice catch. Yeah, I speak a regional dialect. Took me a while to smooth it over but it still resurfaces every now and then.”

“Why?”

“It just didn’t seem fitting for a PhD candidate, I guess,” Osamu explains, opening the slides from the class you missed. A day after your initial exchange, you’d emailed him again (with a much clearer mind) and asked if he could go over the slides with you in person.

i literally feel like i’ve been given the homework from russian lit, you’d written. except the russian has been translated to hieroglyphs and my task is to choreograph an interpretive dance based on the hieroglyphs.

Osamu had snickered when he saw your email. that doesn’t even make sense. must be the fever talking, he’d been tempted to write. But that strange feeling had come over him again, the one that’d screamed at him to keep it professional, goddamnit, so he’d played it safe instead and sent is eight pm at the main library okay? He hates that you’re getting a watered-down version of his personality. Osamu swears he’s a lot more interesting when he’s not, well, a TA.

“I think it’s fine,” you say, smiling. “I like it. It’s you.” And suddenly, you’re wondering if it’s okay to be complimenting your TA. If it’s okay to say that you like things about him, or if that crosses some grey, unclear line. Is it weird to treat your TAs like they’re your friends? It’s not like TAs are real teachers. Right?

A grin–– wide and genuine and almost excited–– grows on Osamu’s face. He rubs the back of his neck as his eyes flit over to the laptop screen. “Thanks. Really.”

You nod. But you feel like there’s more that he might want to say, so you wait.

“I got a lot of shit for it when I came here for my master’s, y’know. Not to my face, of course, but people would refer to me as ‘the guy with the accent’. A professor once said it made me seem crass. Said it’d hold me back in my career.”

“So you changed.”

“Adapted,” Osamu corrects. “It’s hard to admit but conforming is sometimes all you can do when you don’t have the power to change the system. Can’t really make everyone suddenly respect a dialect.”

“And after you’re finished with your PhD, you’ll go back to speaking in that dialect?”

Osamu looks out the window and smiles, probably imagining the plans he’s already made about the future. “Yeah.”

“What if you have to speak the standard language at your job? Like, your boss is all, ‘hey man, if you don’t speak––”’

“I’ll be the boss.”

“Oh?”

And with a little more prodding, Miya Osamu tells you about the restaurant chain he plans on opening after graduation, the slides about food additives left completely untouched.

The librarian knocks on your pod a few minutes before eleven to tell you they’re closing.

“Shit,” Osamu murmurs, running his hands through his hair. You’re still laughing about something he’d said before the librarian interrupted him–– one of his stories from high school–– and he thinks that you’ve completely forgotten that the reason you came to the library was to catch up on the material you were already behind on. And now you’re behind on that. But you look so carefree right now and, actually, you’re very pretty and you’ve got such a good heart and it’s a lot for him to process but he knows he just wants to see you happy a while longer. So Osamu just slumps back in his chair and laughs along with you.

He says your name as his chuckles grow softer. “It’s pretty late. How’re you getting home?”

“I’ve a bike,” you reply. It’s good for the environment and is a pretty solid form of exercise if you do say so yourself. Sometimes you just don’t feel like driving. 

Osamu presses his lips in a thin line. Would it be too much to offer you a ride? “I can drive you home. It’s really not safe for you to be alone outside, especially near midnight. You can get your bike tomorrow. Or I’ll get it for you.”

He drives fast. Not the unsafe fast that speed demons drive at, but the kind of fast where you know he’s got some edge to his character. You bring it up to him–– especially since it’s nighttime, for god’s sake, he could hit something–– and all he does is remind you how there are lamps as bright as the sun lining the entire road to your dorm. And the fact that you live in the least accessible dorm on campus.

“A twenty-minute drive?” he’d exclaimed when he saw the GPS monitor.

“A bunch of roads are closed for construction. It’s a ten-minute bike-ride because I can cut through campus.” And suddenly feeling a little burdensome, you’d added, “Sorry. I can still bike––”

“No.” He’d held his hand out in front of you, gesturing for you to stay in the passenger’s seat. “It’s not a bother at all.” Because it wasn’t. Osamu was… happy. Not that he’d admit that.

“So this BMW,” you start in a teasing tone.

Osamu smirks. “A gift.”

“Can I guess from who?”

“Sure.”

“Atsumu.”

His brows rise. “Colour me impressed.” He hadn’t expected you to remember anything he’d said about Atsumu. Or maybe he had but told himself otherwise to lower his hopes.

“I’m smart like that.”

He snorts. “Not if you keep distracting me and using your review time to…” hang out with me, get to know me, tell me things about you… “…goof off.”

You grimace. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

Osamu makes a turn down a familiar street. It dawns upon you that you're ten minutes away from your dorm and suddenly you wish he’d just make the wrong turn at the next intersection so that you could talk to him some more. It can even be about the health benefits of fish or the molecular makeup of kale–– you don’t mind. You just want to be around him longer.

“I think you’re really smart,” Osamu says quietly. “I think you’re not processing the readings because you’re distracted, or just not fully applying yourself. Obviously, last class’s slides are a different thing, since you were absent. But you really are smart. I’ve seen your papers.”

You bite your lip to hide your grin, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “Thank you.” You look out the window, too jacked on dopamine to think straight. “I think I still need you, though.”

And that innocuous little sentence floats right out your mouth into the air, settling between you like a little wedge before either of you even realise it. Neither of you says anything. You marinate in the awkwardness before stuttering out a clarification. “To, um, to explain things. Y’know, since you’re, uh, so good at… explaining things.”

Osamu clears his throat and chuckles stiffly. There’s a slightly pink tinge to his cheeks. “Thanks,” he says, looking straight ahead. He can’t even look at you. Fuck. It’s so awkward. “I’ll try to keep… explaining things.” Fuck. What does that even mean?

A few uncomfortable minutes pass in silence. The night can’t end like this, you think. It can’t when everything else had gone so well. You still have to see him for a few more months. “Did you know,” you start, catching Osamu’s attention, “that Jack’s Diner has a location in Italy?”

“Oh?” he asks, making the final turn to the street where your dorm is. He actually hadn’t.

“Yeah. I asked the owner about the chain a while back. Have you ever been to Italy?”

Osamu shakes his head. “I’ve been to Paris, though. To see a friend. He’s a chocolatier.”

Now, if Osamu had been your friend, you would’ve said something like well, let’s go to Italy together, except he’s not. He’s your TA and you’ve been reminded that enough tonight. So instead, you say, “When you open that restaurant of yours in Italy, let me know.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” he laughs. He appreciates how you said ‘when’, though. And he tucks that little bit of confidence you have in him somewhere deep in his mind so that it doesn’t get lost.

“Isn’t that just seven hours?” you shrug, grinning. Osamu’s BMW pulls up outside your dorm and parks as he marvels at what you just said. You’re amazing. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face your driver.

“Thank you for driving me,” you say, offering him a smile.

“Yeah,” he replies.

You stretch out your hand. With a puzzled look on his face, Osamu grabs it and shakes it. Firmly. You can’t help but notice how nice his hands are. Calloused for sure, but they feel nice.

“Goodnight, Osamu.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches you jog into the building before driving away. And it’s like you’ve possessed his car or something because the smell of your shampoo and perfume is everywhere and it’s too much but it’s also not enough at the same time and he can feel your palm against his as he spins the steering wheel to make a turn and for the first time in his life he doesn’t turn on the radio to fill the silence in his car. Osamu replays everything you said in his head.

But he especially thinks about that part where you said you need him.

Weeks melt into months. You turn in essays after essays for Food Chemistry I, each coming back with detailed commentary in an all-too-familiar blue scrawl. All your other classes go well–– extremely well, actually. You might just end the semester with a 4.0 if Food Chem doesn’t fuck you over. Isla still tags you in memes on Instagram. You still tell her about everything that happens with Osamu.

Speaking of.

“That’s the wrong equation,” he says behind your ear as he settles in the seat beside you. The sound of his low voice so close to your ear sends a small shiver down your spine. “You gotta switch the hydrogens.” Osamu knocks on your skull lightly. “What’s goin’ on up in there? Ya got somethin’ on your mind?”

You laugh and elbow him in the side. “Shut up, ‘Samu.” He’d told you during one of his office hours that he’d gone by that nickname because he had a teammate with a foreign name in high school. It sounded so cool, he’d said, grinning.

I think Osamu sounds pretty cool already, you’d teased.

And he’d replied, Let’s trade. I like yours, you like mine, why not share?

You teeter on the line between friends and less-than-friends and, oddly enough, more-than-friends. Sometimes you still play it safe. Sometimes he pauses between texts and real-time conversations, no doubt to scrap an instinctive reply for something more “professional”. Sometimes you say things that make him look at you with the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips. Sometimes he calls Atsumu to scream about you.

“S’not a no,” Osamu points out. He’s dressed in a black sweater and grey trousers today. You’re suddenly reminded of how the weather’s been getting colder when someone opens the door to the university café and lets in a gust of chilly autumn air.

“Okay,” you admit, setting down the pencil. “I just… don’t really feel prepared for this next test.”

Osamu frowns and looks down at your worksheet. “Your process is correct, though.”

“Right, but… I don’t know. I’ve just not been feeling great about myself lately,” you laugh, looking down at your feet. “Food Chem’s the toughest class I’ve ever taken. And remember how I completely embarrassed myself in that class discussion last week? It’s not really making me feel like I belong here.”

“Imposter syndrome,” Osamu remarks.

“Correct-o.”

He says your name softly and puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Maybe you’re not the smartest, but you’re definitely smart. And you belong here. I’ve seen your papers. They’re just as great as anyone else’s and I don’t hand out compliments for nothin’. You’re gonna do some great things but ya can’t improve if you ever give up.” Osamu searches your eyes for a sign of your understanding.

There’re a lot of things you want to say but you don’t know how to put them into words. “Can I hug you?” you finally ask.

Osamu doesn’t even think about it. “Of course.”

He feels you smile against his chest and wonders if you can feel his heart beat faster.

Isla camps out in your dorm as finals come around the corner.

“I don’t understand shit!” she wails, throwing her notebook into the air.

“Isles, it’s okay,” you laugh, slipping out of your chair and walking over to her nest in the corner. “You gotta chill, dude.”

“Not fair! I didn’t have a hunk holding my hand through this course all semester,” she retorts, humour glittering in her dark eyes. “I had the Organic Chemistry Tutor and his accent’s cute enough but, girl, you had Miya Fucking Osamu!”

“You’re literally the worst.” You giggle and sit down beside her. “Tell me what you’re confused about. I’ll try to explain it to you.” The way Osamu does.

You text him that you’d channelled his brains later that night.

His reply comes seconds later. all you, einstein.

From: osamu

good luck on the exam

you’re going to kill it

To: osamu

would u like to divulge any… information about it? 😏 😏 😏

From: osamu

bye

To: osamu

i was kidding :(

From: osamu

fine. tip #1: write your name

To: osamu

not very helpful. 0/10

From: osamu

keep running your mouth and 0/10 is what your score’s going to be

i’m kidding

you got this, y/n

“Holy fuck,” Isla groans as you cross the street to head to lunch at Jack’s. “If you don’t see me next semester it’s because I’ve gotten my grade back and decided to drop out.”

“What would you do?” you ask, amused.

“Maybe move to New Zealand. Raise some sheep. Marry a hot, blond shepherd and fuck off to a cliffside cottage.”

“Solid plan.”

“What about you?” she asks.

“What about me?”

“Remember that conversation we had at the start of the year? About your man?” The two of you reach another red light for pedestrians.

“We’re friends. He’s not my man,” you laugh. Though it pains you to. Something about being Miya Osamu’s friend doesn’t really sit right with you, but you don’t know how to not be his friend. You don’t know how to move out of the corner you’ve backed yourself into.

“But you wish he were! And now you can finally hit him with that ‘Hey, Osamu, I’ve been madly in love with you since the start of the semester, wanna fuck like rabbits and then open that store in Italy?’ and he’ll be all––”

A throat clears behind you. With wide eyes, the two of you turn around.

Holy fuck.

Miya Osamu stands behind you with his hands in his pockets and an enormous smirk on his face.

“He’ll be all what?” he asks, eyes fixed on you.

Isla murmurs an excuse and starts walking on her own to Jack’s.

“Um.” You swallow nervously and shrink in your coat. “You heard all of that, right?”

“Yep.” Osamu grins. He grins. He’s grinning. He’s smiling like he’s won the fucking lottery and you honestly don’t know what to do with that information.

“So, like,” you look down at the sidewalk and kick at a pebble, “what are your thoughts about that?” God, you could die. “‘Cause I know you’re a TA and it’d probably look pretty bad and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you because I like you and it’s cool if we just…”

Osamu interrupts you with a laugh. “My thoughts,” he says, “are that I want to kiss you.” His fingers lift your chin up. “What are your thoughts about that?”

Well, shit. “I think that’s pretty cool, yeah,” you breathe, eyelids fluttering shut as his face comes closer to yours.

He tastes like mint. And his lips move softly, slowly against yours like he’s savouring the moment. And then you feel his hands snake around your waist to pull you closer–– closer because you both are tired of forcing the distance between bodies that want to be near each other, closer because he’s thought about kissing you just like this for so long, closer because you remember the last time he’d touched you was three days ago and it was just a brush of his fingers against your arm and that feeling of wanting more haunted you for the entire night. But holy shit, Miya Osamu is kissing you. He’s kissing you.

And then he pulls away. His dark eyes flit over yours. “I,” he breathes, “I need your course load next semester.”

“What?” you ask, disbelief written all over your features, chest rising and falling as you try to steady your breathing. You just kissed, for God's sake, and he's––

“I need to know which courses not to apply to TA for,” he grins, cupping your face in his hands. “Can’t be teachin’ in a class with my girlfriend as a student.”

“So we’re official?” you ask, beaming.

“If you want,” Osamu replies with a smirk.

You grab the front of his coat and tug him down for another kiss. “Hell yeah, I want to be official.”

[jcmiesingh]

TASK 06: CHARACTER INSPO

honorable mentions that aren’t strong parallels but i’m including them just for laffs: dennis reynolds (it’s always sunny in philadelphia), klaus hargreeves (the umbrella academy), jj maybank (outer banks), roman roy (succession), michelle mallon (derry girls), and this text post 

see below for me going alligator_talking.gif about the six main parallels!

lip gallagher (shameless): ok i will not lie it has been years since i watched shameless so this one is mostly just vibes but his vibes are soooo jamie. especially the whole “feeling deeply but not knowing how to express feelings well so they come out in destructive ways” energy. i think the main similarity that differentiates lip from the other characters i included on here is that he’s smart in the same way that jamie is. sometimes i forget but jamie is actually very booksmart lmao it just doesn’t matter to him bc he never showed up to class and did not even consider college. so from what i remember of lip’s arc it’s the same kind of wasted potential energy where he could be applying his brain and succeeding in life but instead he does not give a flying fuck about academia and would rather be a menace to society.

dimitri (anastasia): i just thought of this parallel this morning and now i am absolutely obsessed with it. to be clear, i am not talking about the dimitri in the second half of the movie who learns to be selfless through falling in love and is sexily redeemed. i’m talking about the first half where he’s a lying con who manipulates others to his own ends and is a complete smooth-talking asshole. and also, the whole backstory of growing up poor and believing money will solve all of his problems? very jamie. even just the way he like, talks and carries himself is super similar to jamie’s mannerisms in my mind.

james cook (skins uk): once again i must include a disclaimer that i watched skins a super long time ago and my memory is poo. but ever since i came across this gifset, the jamie/cook parallel has lived rent-free in my head for months. i think the most distinctive thing he brings to the melting pot of jamie parallels is the fact that he is such a fucking survivor. like, no matter what bullshit he gets into & what kind of messes he creates for himself, he gets up and keeps going like a gross lil cockroach u keep trying to squish under your boot (thank you again to blair for that iconic comparison). and of course the general shitty troubled boy energy and the belief that he’s not really worth much at the end of the day.

john bender (the breakfast club): i know this movie is outdated and bender does some things that are straight up not okay but those are not included in this parallel thanks! we’re talking about the reckless disregard of rules and authority, the never knowing when to shut up, impulsivity and always fucking things up for himself. this is yet another case in which i don’t remember that much about the details of this movie lol but the vibes are 100% there.

jess mariano (gilmore girls): it’s this gifset for me if i’m being honest... the sarcasm is absolutely jamie vibes. i don’t think he has a ton in common with jess on a deep personality level but this one is mostly just based on energy? like the no-good kid who has a bad reputation in his small town, doesn’t give a shit what any of those people think, just walks around being a smartass instead. it’s also the mannerisms and the dry humor and emotionless witty facade.

rue bennett (euphoria): we’re just going to ignore rue’s whole addiction storyline because this one is also strong on just vibes! like if i had to describe how jamie carries himself through his day-to-day life, it’d be as a combination of dimitri, jess, and rue. i’m also including her because there is for sure something to be said for the fact that she believes the only thing she can do is hurt people, and there’s no point in trying to really better herself ‘cause she’s always just gonna be a shithead. that’s big jamie energy too.

[shadyteacup]

I posted 1,613 times in 2021

659 posts created (41%)

954 posts reblogged (59%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.4 posts.

I added 2,650 tags in 2021

#shadyteacup - 403 posts

#shady☕ - 373 posts

#☕ says - 269 posts

#bungou stray dogs - 253 posts

#bsd - 244 posts

#dazai osamu - 238 posts

#dazai x reader - 234 posts

#bsd x reader - 224 posts

#bungo stray dogs dazai - 211 posts

#kunikida doppo - 201 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#a͎͚͚̥ͫ͑͢l̨̥͍̮͒̿͊͗l͍͇̪̖̥̙ͧ̇͡ ̧̠͍̱́̑̒͆t̙͎͓̻̭̱̑͞ͅͅh̛̻̖͓ͤ̊̀ͮȩ̣̘ͩͦ ̫̖̗͕̻͉̀͐̿͞ț͈͈̼̯ͬ̎͘i̊̉ͩ҉͚̯̲̮̥͓m̴͔̙̻͇̹̥̤ͫ͛̈́́ĕ̸̥͔̻ͦ

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Akutagawa's part for:

Ryunosuke Akutagawa x fem! Reader || Word count: 852 || Warnings: Mild swearing, fluff that could rot your teeth.

Cuddle Me

See the full post

331 notes • Posted 2021-05-15 19:06:55 GMT

#4

yay reqs are open!! so can i have um hcs of chuuya and fyodor with a reader who has a habit of apologizing right after cussing/swearing. they'll be like "FUCK! sorry D:" every 2 mins. idk if this makes sense (so feel free to ignore this if u want) but thank u and have a nice day :)

This took me a decade to finish n the only person to blame is my lazy ass and my upcoming shitty exams :p

This is a cute ask :) ... I do this too lol

Chuuya

This man is so fine, damn

Anyways.

We all know how short tempered our little ginger is. Cussing is pretty common for him.

So when you cuss or swear for little things, he is completely fine with it.

What he doesn't expect is the cute little apology that follows.

You were getting ready for work, and so was Chuuya.

You both were running late for your respective jobs, thanks to the 'bonding time' you both shared yesterday, leading to a late morning.

You were helping chuuya with his choker, and he was knotting your tie.

That's when your finger slipped and the edge of the metal belt cut your finger.

"Fuck! Ow!", you say as you suck the blood off of your finger.

"Sorry :p"

Chuuya goes to grab a bandaid, but upon hearing you, blinks adorably at you.

" 'Sorry' ? What for?"

"Oh, it's because I said...you know..."

He was so confused.

"What?"

"I cussed. So..", you shrugged.

He continued staring at you, confused af, until you groaned in pain.

He then hurriedly put it on your finger, stopping the bleeding.

Another time, the both of you were chilling at home, watching a movie.

The ding of the microwave notified you that your popcorn was ready.

"I'll get it!", you said, while sprinting to the kitchen.

On your way back, you stubbed your toe.

"OUCH MOTHERF*CKER!.... sorry"

You say while limping to the couch.

Chuuya simply chuckled at your clumsiness and pulled you down on the sofa.He buried his head in the crook of your neck, his breath tickling you.

See the full post

337 notes • Posted 2021-03-30 01:14:37 GMT

#3

May i ask fanfiction with dazai osamu and chuuya nakahara where fem! Reader aka their s/o falls asleep ln them and then they become SUPER OVERPROTECTIVE like somebody is like: i can take that pretty lady so you can rest and then they take a merf gun or some kind of weapon or like does something and are like: TOUCH HER AND YOURE GONE

Hey, there! This was fun to write!

Tw: Some blood in Chuuya's part, but nothing gory..

Lemme know if this is what u wanted ;)

Dazai

Dazai was looking out of the window, observing the passing scenery. He loved train rides. They somehow calmed him. Observing the fast approaching trees and watching them zoom past, was a favorite pass time of his. You and Dazai had gone to visit a client in the neighboring city, and Dazai had insited on traveling via train.

Both of you were sitting side by side, shoulders touching, as you shared one ear bud each. You were playing the music today. Your choice in songs was quite diverse. You could vibe to chaotic metal, noisy edm, soft guitar songs and  famous classicals like Beethoven's Für Elise.

Today, you had decided to play soft songs. They had a calming effect. It was much needed too, as your mission had been quite tiring.

Dazai felt a weight on his shoulder. Moving his head to the side, he saw your sleeping face. Your cheek was smushed on his shoulder, and stray hair was strewn a over your nose and forehead.

He smiled softly at the adorable sight. He gently nuzzled his face on your head, craving your touch.

He was never so possessive and touchy before. You had completely changed him. Now, he couldn't stand being away from you for five minutes. He always needs to have some form of physical contact with you. It can be as simple as a touch of your shoulders, or your hand in his, or as elaborate as a bear hug, or a gentle kiss.

It was the rush hour, so you both had to share a booth. The man sitting opposite you both kept stealing glances at you. Dazai, ofcourse, noticed this. He decided to ignore it. He knew how beautiful you were. It was obvious that a beauty such as you would gather male attention. He had encountered so many men and women that had tried to woo you. But you had always stayed with him. You loved him, afterall. And he loved you. So he pretended to not have noticed the man's glances. Unfortunately, he can't control who should and shouldn't look at you.

"Nice woman you've got there, lad!"

The man spoke up. He was looking at Dazai, trying to get a reaction out of him.

Dazai merely glanced at him, giving him a look that said 'mind your business'.

The man shifted his full attention towards you.

Smirking, he leaned ahead a bit, trying to get a closer look at you.

"You wouldn't mind being a good boy, and sharing this lovely lady, would you?"

That was it. Dazai snapped.

The man felt a cool sensation below his jaw. He looked down to find himself face-to-face with the barrel of a gun. His eyes widened, and he gulped.

Dazai leaned forward, ensuring that you weren't disturbed, and spoke near the man's ear.

"Leave before I feed your brain to the stray dogs."

His low, dangerous voice, and murderous gaze was more than enough for the man to stumble out of the booth, and run away.

The slight movement and the man's scared apologies and 'Please don't kill me's stirred you awake. You blinked, looking at Dazai.

"What happened?"

He smiled at you, shaking head, and planting a kiss on your forehead.

"Nothing, love. Needed to take care of a pest. Everything's alright."

You look at him, confused, but nod your head anyway.

"Ok."

"I love you, Y/N."

See the full post

351 notes • Posted 2021-04-13 16:02:30 GMT

#2

Dazai: So, are you free tonight?

Y/N: Yeah! Wanna come over?

Dazai: *smirking* oh, whatever for?

Y/N: Why, Taco Tuesday, ofcourse!

Dazai: I- Nevermind.

422 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 15:11:40 GMT

#1

Hiya!!!! Could you do a headcanon for Dazai, aku, and chuuya (separately) where y/n is gifted a plush of their s/o and the boys get jealous that she’s paying more attention to it? Idk I find this really cute and seeing them pouting without attention is cute hehehe

Heyaaa! Found this, and I'm finally posting it! This is only the Chuu part, but I'll be posting the Dazai n Aku fics soon!

The links will be here when they're done: Aku || Dazai

Cuddle Me

"Darling, I'm home!"

Chuuya loves the fact that he comes home after you do. It really makes his day to see you run up to him and hug him, welcoming him home. Yes, he's a sucker for such domestic stuff. He won't ever admit it, but he fantasizes about having a typical TV couple life, wherein the wife greets the husband when he comes home, and they have tea and biscuits together as they discuss how his day had been.

He would like it if you didn't go to work at all, but he left the choice with you. It's not his decision to make, afterall. The fact that he comes home after you makes it even better, as you always greet him with a hug an a kiss. It fills his heart with huge joy.

"Y/N?"

He asks when you don't come running up to the door.

He's worried at the lack of reply. What's going on here? Are you okay? Did something happen to you? He can see your shoes, so clearly you're home. Or supposed to be. He frantically kicks off his boots and rushes home, searching for you.

He opens the door to the bedroom.

You jump at the sudden sound, and slowly remove your headphones.

"Hey Chuu! Welcome home!"

Chuuya felt relieved to see that you're okay. He half expected you to walk over to him to hug him, but figured maybe you're tired. So he walked over to you, instead.

You looked up at him from under the blankets and smiled.

"What?"

"What what?"

You eyed him suspiciously.

"Do you want something?"

He gasped at your forgetfulness.

"Yes!"

He thought you'd get the hint.

"Well, what is it? Do you wanna listen to music, or something? Should I switch to the airpods so we could share and listen?"

He couldn't belive you. Did you really forget to give him a hug?

You shuffled in your blankets and bowed down to peck something. He couldn't see the rest of you, only your face was peeking out of the tornado of blankets surrounding you.

"What did you kiss?!"

"What?"

"You heard me! What's in there?!"

He snatched it all off of you, revealing your iPad and his plushie.

So that's what you were kissing! Chuuya knew something was off. You were cuddling his plushie and showing it love instead of him! How atrocious!

See the full post

716 notes • Posted 2021-05-14 18:15:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[fa-headhoncho]

Fake Boyfriend: Part 3

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Prompt: The fake dating plan has some... complications.

Word Count: 1351

Reader: Female

Warning: Americanized. Leading up to drama, if I still to the plan lol. lmk if u want to be tagged

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

=====

It was the weekend once again and the plan for the was to go to the mall with some of the class. You were very excited since it’s been a while since you left the campus other than the patrols during your internship. Getting up early, showering, and even putting on a cute outfit.

You bounce down the stairs, sending the girls a wave before making a b-line to the kitchen. Katsuki stands at the counter, preparing the plate of food he just cooked. The sound of someone rummaging through the cabinets near catches his attention.

He turns around and nearly drops the pan of eggs onto the floor. You were on your tippy-toes, trying to reach the top shelf… in a dress. He hasn’t seen you in a dress since your elementary school graduation and he was flustered. Yea, he sees you in a skirt every day in class but this was different. The way the garment hugged your curves and accentuated your--

“Can you help me, Suki?” Your sweet voice snaps him out of his daze. He nods, fearing his voice would reveal the effect you had on him. He quickly sets down the pan and makes his way over to you. “Can you grab the Sugar-O’s?”

“Tch.” He shakes his head at you, his mind finally piecing itself back together to scold you. “You are not eating Sugar-O’s for breakfast. You’re going to feel like shit all day if you eat a shitty meal.”

You immediately pout out your bottom lip causing him to let out a sigh. Years of friendship have taught you what you needed to do for the blonde to give you what you want. It was a true talent. “Please, Bubba?” You beg, putting the nail in the coffin.

“No.” He spits out in your face. You let out a scoff, shoulders dropping as he saunters back to the counter to continue his task.

“Well, what am I supposed to eat then?”

He just shakes his head, holding back a chuckle at your child-like actions. “Will you stop whining for ten seconds?” He grumbles out.

“I haven’t eaten since last night, Katsuki, I’m starv--” You cut yourself when he spins back around to look at you. A warmth starts from your toes and climbs up the rest of your body as you see the two plates of food in his hands. “You made me breakfast?”

He rolls his eyes, “No, I made too much food and I know your dumbass would want some.” He simply states but you know it’s a lie. He’s skilled enough in the culinary arts that he knew how much of each ingredient to put in to make the correct portion size for one plate. He specifically made enough to share with you and it made your heart skip a beat.

“Are you going to take it or stand there?” Katsuki gestures to his outstretched hand holding the food.

You give him a grateful smile as you grab it, daring to lean forward and press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, bubba.” You whisper in his ear before walking away.

Katsuki bites his lip, trying to push down the blush that was fighting to spread across his cheeks. He lifts his head and watches you join the girls at the table, a small feeling of disappointment washes over him since he wanted to enjoy breakfast with his girlfriend.

She’s not my girlfriend. He has to remind himself.

The girls and you chat about the day ahead while eating your breakfast. The group planned a day to the mall and were trying to narrow down which shops they wanted to stop by. Some of the boys were coming along as well but were still sleeping so they weren’t here to discuss.

“I hope Todoroki is going.” Momo absently says, eyes dazed as she drags a finger around the rim of her teacup.

“I’m not sure.” Orchaco looks over to Mina who shrugs in response. “Izuku said that some of the guys are coming and he didn’t mention him--” Momo’s shoulders drop but no one takes notice, “--Is Bakugo coming?”

All eyes turn to you as you happily munch at the delicious pancakes. You have to ask Katsuki for the recipe, they were the best thing you’ve eaten in months. The fork was still hanging out of your mouth when you notice that the girls’ attention was on you.

You quickly gulp down the bite and raise your eyebrows. “Sorry, what was the question?”

Mina lets out a chuckle, “Is Bakugo going to the mall with us?”

A small blush coats your cheeks and you duck your head away from them, hoping that they don’t see it. “Probably not, he’s not much of a social person.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll come if you mention you’re going.” Mina counters, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. The girls let out various hums of agreements, some even giggling. “He’s seemed to enjoy movie night.”

Your blush spreads from your cheeks to your whole face at the memory. After you dozed off, you woke up the next morning with your head on Katsuki’s chest and him sprawled out under you on the couch.

“Who knew Bakugo had a soft side.” Hagakure coos out, her arms close together showing that she was clasping her invisible hands. “So, are you guys together?”

You don’t trust your voice so you nod. A few of the girls let out excited squeals and move to your side, spewing out questions at ten miles an hour. You hate this kind of attention, especially since it was all coming from a lie.

“I don’t know how it happened really… we kind of just started dating.” You say what comes to mind since you didn’t think about this part of the plan. “And, he’s always had a soft side with me. Nothing has changed between us… he’s still my best friend just with a different title.”

“That’s adorable.” Hagakure gleams. “I never really thought Bakugo would get a girlfriend.” She quietly admits leading some of the other girls to nod too.

You furrow your eyebrows at them, confused about why they say that. Yea, he’s never had any other girlfriend in the past but that is only because he never wanted one. You knew they meant no harm at the comment but there was a fit of slight anger lingering inside you at their words.

“There’s a lot more to Katsuki than just exploding fists. Under all that anger, there’s a soft little teddy bear.” You tell them with a dreamy expression on your face. “He’s just... “ You go to continue but stop yourself since you know Katsuki would kill you if you mentioned any of the vulnerable moments you’ve had with him. You didn’t want to break the trust you had built up with him over the years just to prove something.

You let out a sigh, eyes going back to the plate of food in front of you. “Bakugo has a very complicated personality and once you figure it out, it’s hard not to love him.” You meant it, growing up with him was easy but when you came back from school it was like you had to start over with him.

His aggressive personality developed into what it is now, a defensive wall to block anyone who would get in his way to becoming the number one hero. And you admired that, his passion and determination was beautiful. But once you broke down those walls, you saw the real Bakugo Katsuki. The one who reads romance novels before he goes to bed; the one who still slept with the same teddy bear from his childhood; and the one who is constantly reevaluating what he did so he could improve.

What you didn’t realize is that the said boy could hear the entire conversation from his spot in the kitchen. A small smirk on his face at your confession. A hopeful voice in the back of his head says to maybe make this dating scheme a reality.

_____

fake bf: @yn-dreamlife @yaskna @bakugouswh0r3 @bkgkhaos @addictofsupernatural @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer @thoroughlycaffeinated @riot-race @missyredbean @speedmetalqueen @anime-weeb-bnha

[sun-to-my-luna]

The Gold Book To “Success”

So, we know that Camila for centuries has never written in uppercase letters but when she released “CAMILA” her signature wording changed. The thing is: the all caps letters aren’t JUST what make that change in her wording signature noticeable.  To put it simple everyone has a wording signature and types differently. Being that Camila stopped using social media as much due to her negative stans and the hostility towards her it would be obvious that she’s not using her own social platforms all the time. However, many people still think it’s always her.

We’ll go from least to most noticeable.

The first thing that distinguishes her posts away from her are obviously uppercase letters lol but besides that let’s take a look at other patterns.

1.

Random sentences that end with a period.

(Note: anything with a hyperlink that redirects to an album/ song release or an event is never Camila. You’ll see another example in #4.)

2. Using just one explanation point at the end of a sentence or exactly on the last sentences. 

Sentences that have periods like this are possibly 65% Camila as long as there are no grammatically correct capital letters at the beginning of a sentence. An example of a tweet that genuinely belongs to Camila:

3.

Roger on his regular social media uses A LOT of (...) especially after saying happy— (insert certain day/ holiday). Ps. After reading this post you’ll notice this paragraph includes 4 of the mentioned.

4.

Roger’s favorite way to express his excitement, happiness or express he’s surprised is by using the iconic: (!!!)

AND LAST but not least the most entirely noticeable.

4.

The other most relentlessly favorite thing he uses is the random (–) to separate statements. “Morning – so proud of my !”  {side edit: inserted more screenshots last minute.}  

She would also never say “Latins” that’s so white lol

These are some grammar cues to keep in mind that whoever is talking isn’t Camila but instead her manager. Camila herself talks more so in rambling text and not so much Up or down with extensive grammar. So if you read his posts in her voice just remember that if she uses any of the above or simply sounds like a boring ass lawyer then you know the drill.

If you’ve read this far that’s right: I said I was adding in information and that’s correct I’m adding something else onto his long list for you to remember.  I’ve exposed his gross circle of colleagues, I’ve exposed how the label he created treated certain artists like crap, and I’ve exposed him for being a shitty artist manager with Jaquie. Now I finally want you to bare in mind that this is a 52 year old male law graduate /attorney– {now} artist manager trying to impersonate a woman in her 20’s.

Here’s the  probable answer to your questions. If you were ever wondering why she can’t get rid of him it’s most likely because he went to law school and the clauses in her personal manager contract are shitty. He more than anyone would know how to secretly fuck someone over that has no idea what they’re signing. How long she’s going to be with him? I couldn’t quite tell you because of this. He’s a business man and will never be nothing more than that.

Of course, what other way of proving that then by the profits he has made off of her. And let me add that they are some big ass profits.

How do I put this lightly?

Oh, I know, how about I just show you.

In NOVEMBER OF 2020, 2 months before 2021 as of today,  he bought a residential house IN CASH for the value of $3,075,000 dollars and sold his last house last month in April 2021 for another $1,950,000. You could say her PR isn’t benefiting her, and I would believe you, because it’s the truth  but you can’t tell me that her PR relationship with Shawn isn’t benefiting someone else we know very very very well. Actually, him and other people that is. This is the proof man. They’ve been cash grabbing the life out of her for years now.

The saddest part? This man claims to be a hero to his friends and he calls himself a fan aka a “Camilizer,”and makes it seem like he’s her family but his fake ass mask doesn’t deceive me.

[honeyhuun]

astro’s reaction to you calling them late at night

~  type  .  reaction

~ requested . no

~  pairing  .  astro x gender-neutral!reader

~  genre  .  comfort fluff with some slight angst 

~  tw  .  mentions of insomnia

~  song recommendation  .  all night by astro

~  a/n  .  ahh it feels so good to be writing on this platform again ~ hopefully i can stay more active on this blog hehe, i hope you enjoy my first reaction !! it’s like 12am when i’m writing this so it might be shit lol. i just miss ot6 astro a lot mm’kay, someone tell eunwoo to come home ;-;

.

.

.

you check the time on your phone and it’s only three am when it feels like you have tried to fall asleep for what felt like hours. you sit up in bed and rub your tired red eyes, fearing for when your alarm would start going off alerting you to start your day when you hadn’t even finished the last. in your sluggish haste you dialled your boyfriend’s number with empty hope that’ll he will pick up... 

.

| p a r k  j i n w o o 

it took him a while to answer, as expected he was fast asleep. but when he was dragged finally dragged so far outside of his sleep cycle to notice that his phone was ringing, he shot up so fast and answered immediately. when jinwoo heard your voice on the other end he became even more concerned than he already was. why were you awake at this time? was something troubling you? were you in danger? this worried leader bear would not stop worried leadering, he can’t help it, it’s in his nature to be concerned about you. however when you said you just found it a bit hard to sleep and wanted to hear his voice, he softened (a just a bit though he’s still nag you a bit but it was all out of love). jinwoo would then spend the rest of the call’s duration talking softly about his day and things he’s been interested in lately. and maybe MAYBE sing a short lullaby for you really really quietly (so quiet you’d think he’s whispering). in between all his sweet actions he never fails to tell you he loves you and that he’s so extremely proud of you no matter what you do. he wouldn’t end the call until you’ve been silent for 20 minutes and hears your heavy breathing from the other side of the line.

“you want me to sing for you? really bubs, is there anything else- okay, okay, but only because i love you so much my beautiful amazing y/n. if you ever feel like this again please call me, i don’t care what time, your wellbeing is my number one priority” 

(i’m blushing oml i love jinwoo so much ;-;)

| k i m  m y u n g j u n

when it comes to you he would be all bright n’ smiley, no matter how tired he actually was. you knew he had musical promotions coming up which is why you wanted to avoid calling him during the later hours of the day as much as possible. but you should know myungjun is always up to talk to you no matter the time place or day: you’re his love why wouldn’t he? when he answered your call he tried to mask the tiredness in his voice by speaking in a chirpier tone than usual, you laughed at his attempt and said you were going to end the call to let him rest. myungjun of course would never let you have the final say so he started to whine until you gave in and continued to talk to him. then he insisted you guys face timed his excuse being “if i don’t see your face i am physically unable to go to sleep” complete bullshit, but that’s what you love about him. when you answered his face time request he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. you’d guys would be on call for about an hour telling shitty jokes, blowing raspberries at the screen and talking about places you’d like to visit when you’re both less busy. myungjun only agreed to end the call when both of you struggled intensely to keep your eyes open. 

“oooo, look at you my perfect baby!! you’re so good looking you know that? you take my breathe away every single day, i can’t believe you’ve deprived me from seeing your face for this long”

“it’s too late for this myungjun...”

“no matter the time i will shower you with the compliments you deserve jagi!”

| c h a  e u n w o o

good chances are he’s awake and can’t seem to sleep, not being able to clear his head to the point of exhaustion. eunwoo was fully prepared to spend the rest of the night awake. maybe he could do something more useful with his time and catch a nap on set later in the day. kicking off his covers, he was planning to get out of bed but then he got your call. out of all the members i feel eunwoo would be the happiest to get a call from you at this time of night (all of the members wouldn’t really mind but eunwoo would love getting calls like this, it made him feel liked you needed him). when he picked up and there was no hint of sleepiness in his tone you got worried. for the first few minutes all the call was you two sweetly bickering. “why are you still awake-” “well why are you?” “you called me first” “well if you were fast asleep you wouldn’t pick up” and more cute shit like that. talking to you at times like this would bring him so much strength and he really treasures it. something about your silly sleep deprived conversations feels so intimate to him and it sets his heart alight. when he can tell you’re drifting off, he makes sure to tell you he loves you once more before trying to get some sleep himself. the sounds of you soft half-awake sighs would lull him into a deep sleep and you would only notice he never ended the call when you wake up to your phone’s battery being on 3% and the sound of a snoring eunwoo.

“i’ve noticed i don’t sleep as well without you in my arms. i miss your sleepy voice, it’s like a lullaby to me. when i see next you i’m never letting you leave my sight again.”

| m o o n  b i n

is it just me or does anyone else think our binnie has a slight temper when he’s woken up from sleep. it wouldn’t last for long but he’ll be very cranky and frustratedly pouty if his alarm had gone off or one of the members started shouting in the dorm when he’s trying to have a lie in. he’d wouldn’t be any different when he heard his phone ringing from the bedside table. he was so tempted to fling that thing out the window. when it went off for the third time he answered the call clumsily almost missing the answer button. in a pissed sleepy voice he answered “what do you want?” you taken aback by your normally sweet boyfriend’s bluntness, whispered a quick apology before ending the call. moonbin felt so awful when he was realised it was you. the last thing this boy wants to do is hurt your feelings and he was angry at himself for denying you in a time of need (now we have a really frustrated pouty bin). he immediately called you back and apologised a lot (even after you said it was fine, his every other sentence was filled with sweet sorry’s and kissy noises just to make sure you don’t hate him) moonbin would calmly ask why you called and got a bit worried when you said you couldn’t sleep. bin would scold you lightly for maybe staring at your screen for too long or not taking as many breaks as he thought you needed. but then again he would comfort you and ask if there’s anything you’d like to get off your chest. after letting you rant he gave his best advice and the most loving and encouraging words he could. you fell asleep to the sounds of his praise and bin couldn’t have felt better.

“baby i’m so so sorry, you know i would never deny you like that on purpose, please don’t be hurt. you’re worth so much to me, i couldn’t bare for you to be upset with me. you know how much i care about you love, right?” *ensue more pouty and whiny bin waffle*

(why this so long and i’m not even binnie biased -_-)

| p a r k  m i n h y u k

minhyuk would be wide awake when you call him. he feels like one of those people who finds it really relaxing to go on runs in the early morning, watching the sunrise by the river; seeing streets around him get busier as the city starts waking up. he would be in his kitchen filling up his water bottle, hearing his phone ring from the island behind him. his eyes glanced at the contact name and he smiled. minhyuk answered your call like he would answer any other, failing to realise that it was going on 4am and you had things to do in the next few hours. after hearing that you couldn’t sleep he would chuckle and joke around “what’s the thing keeping my y/n from sleeping? tell me and i’ll beat the shit out of the thing ” (not lying he would punch the air around you if you said it was bothering you, he really is that whipped). i don’t think the conversation would hold anything in particular. it would just be mindless small talk and random thoughts as rocky is getting himself ready for his run. it would be so light hearted and sweet, this is what most of your relationship is like and why you love minhyuk so much. everything is so chill and thoughtless with him, you match each other so well. you could say something and nine times out of ten he is thinking the same thing. after sometime he would say he had to end the call because if not he’d miss the sunrise. you complained playfully that he was choosing the sun over you and minhyuk found it funny; promising to make it up to you in one way or another. but you didn’t expect to be woken up by the clattering of pans and cups caused by your clumsy boyfriend, in your kitchen trying to make you breakfast.

“ahh don’t worry y/n, i would never need the sun when i have you with me. you make me so happy you’re like my own personal sunshine. try and get some rest and you’ll wake up to pictures of the sunrise that reminds me so much of you.”

| y o o n  s a n a h

out of all six members, he would be the only one not to pick up. sanah obviously wouldn’t do it on purpose, he loves you way too much to ignore you like that. he probably left his phone to charge in another room or in a more likely scenario poor bubs was just so tired he couldn’t wake up. even if you threw water on him our maknae wouldn’t budge. so when you called, his phone was just vibrating on the table untouched. after the fifth go you just stopped trying to reach him and started up at your celling hoping tiredness would reach you soon. in the morning when sanah checked his phone and saw all your missed calls, colour drained from his face and he’d get so panicky that he’d almost drop his it. he called back immediately, flooding your exhausted state with so many questions it would make anyone lightheaded. when telling him you just wanted to hear his voice hoping it would help you sleep, he replied with “did you end up getting any sleep then?” and when all he was met with was silence from your end, his heart dropped. he was so angry at himself and would never let it go that he was the reason you didn’t sleep (he wasn’t but trust me for the next week he’d go to bed with his phone right behind his ear). sanah would tell you to get your laptop ready with a show you’d been meaning to watch because he was coming over for a nap n’ movie date. when you tried to object because you had things to do that day he told you no but’s and he’d cancel work/school/your meet up with friends for you. in no time he showed up at your door in his pyjamas with two plastic bags, filled with extra blankets and your favourite sweet and savoury snacks.

“what do you mean you didn’t get any sleep and did some work instead? sweetcheeks you know that’s horrible for your health, i can’t have you being sick, it would break me knowing i was the reason. you know what? get your netflix account up i’m coming over- no excuses, i’ll handle everything else, now go get ready to be attack with my love.”

(the sweetest >:( i cry)

.

if you reached the end thank you so so much for reading. if this comforted you even just a bit i’m so glad <3 ily u all ~~

[5uptic]

crewfu: fanfic spotlight :)

Angel of Life, Bringer of Death by woofles1990 (5up/Steve, teen rating, gen | 377 words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: Steve and Dk just wanted to explore a dungeon. That's all they wanted! A certain angel clearly had other plans.

flashover by Anonymous (Apollo & 5up, teen rating, gen | 853 words)

Summary: n. the moment a conversation becomes real and alive, which occurs when a spark of trust shorts out the delicate circuits you keep insulated under layers of irony, momentarily grounding the static emotional charge you've built up through decades of friction with the world. OR: it's pretty stupid to sleep on the tiles of a subway station, even though you are well aware you have a home. It's also quite embarrassing to have a friend pick you up from there.

Sparks Fly by Rocketro (5up/Fundy, gen rating, m/m | 863 words)

Summary: 5up and Fundy watch fireworks together.

you're holding back (shut up and dance with me) by lytriis (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.2k words)

Summary: 5up and steve dance.

what happens in Vegas by aphilologicalbatman (Apollo/Steve, explicit rating, m/m | 1.4k words)

Summary: "I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea, Steve." "Nah, this is a great idea, dude." (Or: the one where they hook up in Vegas.)

quiet when i'm coming home by homeward_bound (5up/Hafu/David, teen rating, gen & multi | 1.4k words)

Summary: 5up comes home from LA.

i could peel it for you by sweetlikesugr (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2k words)

Summary: One appletini at a time, 5up ponders about oranges, buttons and celestial bodies.

from blossoms by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2k words)

Summary: “O, to take what we love inside, to carry within us an orchard, to eat not only the skin, but the shade, not only the sugar, but the days, to hold the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into the round jubilance of peach. There are days we live as if death were nowhere in the background; from joy to joy to joy, from wing to wing, from blossom to blossom to impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.” -Li-Young Lee, From Blossoms

you think that i'm foolish now by amsves (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.1k words)

Summary: “Is everything okay?” That’s a stupid question and Steve knows it. If everything was okay, Five wouldn’t be randomly appearing at his hotel room at—Steve checks his phone—2:37 in the morning. Their group had split up for the night a few hours ago, uncharacteristically early for them, but Five had had plans to talk to—

Like you wouldn't notice by Anonymous (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.1k words)

Summary: Apollo is having feelings, so he pushes them down and hopes Steve doesn't notice. Avoiding Steve was never going to end well. "From that moment on, Apollo becomes hyper-aware of all things Steve. The way his long leg touches his, hip-to-knee, in the bar booth when they're drinking overpriced cocktails."

Vegas Lights by amethystvxidwalker (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.3k words)

Summary: “You were planning on actually swimming with me, right?” Steve faced him, brown eyes and dopey grin almost making Five swoon. He forced himself to focus on Steve’s face rather than the black ink above his hip, small, blocky text that read ‘SUGR?’ because of course it did.

ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought by cj__writes (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.5k words)

Summary: Apollo isn’t sure when, exactly, he fell in love with Steve. Maybe, just maybe, he thinks, he never really fell. Maybe, he’s been falling. He’s still falling.

u spilled orange on u by SmearedWords (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 3.1k words)

Summary: Five times Dumbdog thinks Steve is illegally attractive and the one time he tries to admit that to him. Keyword: tries.

My love is the evening breeze touching your skin by tumtummeke (Apollo & Steve, general rating, gen | 5.2k words)

Summary: Steve's love language is physical touch. Dumbdog's is... not that. A day at the beach with Steve and Dumbdog (and background crewfu), told in five touches.

be like the love that discovered sin by Qupid (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 5.6k words)

Summary: It’s annoying because Apollo even left for work a whole hour early today, which should be enough time to get to his shitty office job like everyone else on the train, but unlike everyone else, Apollo also has a second job. Which leads to the last reason why Apollo is having a bad day: being pinned under an overturned car while a villain monologues at him. Well, that last reason isn’t really part of Apollo’s bad day, but sue him if he wants to include the misfortunes of his hero identity Dumbdog while listing the reasons for his bad mood. “I don’t have time for this, Suptic,” Apollo grits out, interrupting the villain’s monologue.

friends in this town by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 6.1k words)

Summary: Five only realizes he’s bitten his nails down to the quick when the sting of pain catches up to him. He’s probably overthinking. He just needs to talk to Hafu. That’s all. ...He doesn’t want to. He’s worried he will only hear an answer he’ll hate. Out back, putting off talking to his sister really gives Five a sense of deja vu. All he needs to complete the feeling is Steve. “You need to relax, man.” Speak of the devil.

this party's just another haunted house by cj__writes (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 7.7k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: On December 31st, Apollo wakes up in his hotel in Vegas. The problem is, it's always December 31st.

call me by your name (i don't know that's pretty gay) by Qupid (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 10k words)

Summary: “Oh!” The human suddenly exclaimed, “You probably want my name!” Five had no interest in holding the power of a name over a human, it always seemed more trouble than it was worth, “Not particu-” “I’m Steve! It’s a pleasure to meet someone as cute as you.” The human, Steve, interrupted before 5up could finish. 5up’s eyes widened as he felt the power of gaining a name rush through him.  It was intoxicating and he could see why some fae would frequently come to the human realm just to trick humans into giving up their names. Five hadn’t needed to trick Steve, the man had given up his name freely and Five couldn’t believe how goddamn stupid he was to do it. “Ohhhh my god you’re an idiot.”

you'll hear me howling outside your door by Qupid (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 22.2k words)

Summary: Something warm blew against Steve’s face and, distantly, he heard a high pitched whine. A nudge, and when Steve ignored it, a more insistent push had him opening his eyes to the face of a wolf mere inches from his own. Steve laughed. How delightful!  He was hallucinating animals now. The wolf’s fur looked bright to him, but even with as dark as it was Steve could tell it wasn’t white. Maybe it was more of a sandy color. Not that it mattered when all Steve could focus on was its piercing gaze and how its eyes seemed to bore into his soul. The wolf whined again and nudged Steve in the shoulder with its nose, making the man rear back when he realized that this might actually be a real wolf and not a hallucination at all.

kinda good for my love by sweetlikesugr (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 44.7k words, chaptered)

Summary: 5up can’t really recall the exact moment when dares became his and Steve’s thing and he is not sure if he even wants to try - after all, why would you mess with something that feels so natural, that feels so right? Why not just let it take its course and see where it might lead them?

Also: mangoedges‘s 5up the human impostor collection!

FAQ:

Wait what is this: pretty straight to the point! i’ll regularly share crewfu-related fanfictions to this blog :)

How regularly is “regularly”?: great question! LOL. it depends on the flow of fanfics that get uploaded, which i do not have any control over, but i’m looking forward to do this twice a month. after all, it’s only me doing this and i often run on a tight schedule.

What’s the format like?:

[title of fic with link] by [author of the fic with link] ([main pairing(s)], [fic rating: eg, general rating], [relationship: eg, m/m] | [word count in k], [added prompt to specify if it’s complete or not])

Summary: [summary provided by the author. if it doesn’t have a summary, a “No summary” prompt will be put instead]

(What does WIP mean again?): Work In Progress :)

Why are you doing this?: from the beginning, my blog has hosted conversations about RPF (real people fiction) and crewfu pairings. this has evolved into people sending me updates about certain fics in the crewfu tags every now and then, but i wanna take the next step and just do these things myself. after all, i’m already lurking in the tags often to see the fics that get posted. as someone who is both a writer and a reader, i wanna appreciate fanfic writers and help out other people that want to read fanfic and consume more fandom content!

Will it be AO3 only?: well, ao3 has a very helpful tag system that makes finding fics incredibly easy, as well as allowing people with no accounts to like and comment on fics, so that’s the site i will personally look in for fanworks. but if there are any fics you’ve written or liked in any other platforms, such as wattpad, you can always contact me through my inbox (send an ask or a dm!), and i’ll make sure to include for the next fanfic spotlight :)

Does it mean you won’t reply to fic asks anymore?: yeah, i guess. since i’ll be doing the searching myself it seems counterproductive. but if i ever skip a fic or again, it’s in another platform, or you’ve posted/read the fic a while ago and you want to get more traction on it, hit me up and i’ll take it into consideration!

Will you read every single one of the fics on your list?: oh no. again, i run on a tight schedule, and also i have my own taste when it comes to fics. i won’t be reviewing fics or any of the sort, and my intention extends to simply sharing these fics to this page so people will have easier access to them :) that’s where ao3 tagging becomes SUPER useful!!!

So what’s the criteria for the way you’ll sort out the fics in your list?: word count, going from lowest to highest. in case of fics in other platforms, i guess i’ll put them at the top of the list. i’ll also be looking for fairly recent fics, so let me know if you want any old-ish fic to be included.

I see you talking mostly about 5up/Steve and Steve/Apollo. Can I still send/see other crewfu fics?: why yes absolutely! my goal is to push every fic which heavily features regular crewfu characters - 5uptic and supdog just happen to be very popular pairings. so, to give you a list: core 4 (5up, hafu, dk, steve), apollo, aipha, annie, janet, kimi, ellum, koji… you know the drill. it doesn’t have to be centered on a relationship, or about 5up in specific, etc. my only requirement is that any of the previously mentioned members are a central part of the fic or are HEAVILY featured in it (sorry, minecraft fics with 50+ tags who only mention 5up as an afterthought won’t make the cut :/).

Isn’t shipping Bad™?: well, it’s a little more nuanced than that. i will go out of my way to discourage and shame people who often violate CCs’ boundaries by acting like so and so has a crush on this person, or that this and that are Actually Into Each Other or secretly dating. any sort of tinhat bullshit is a big nono (think larries). but i run on the assumption that people who write rpf understand that what they’re doing is simply write a completely fictional story using real life personalities, and understand the boundaries necessary to do it - aka they’re not tinhats, they understand they can’t assume everything about CCs’ thoughts and personalities, they understand that what they’re writing is strictly fiction, they keep these works only in fandom circles, etc. (but again, it’s only one me doing this, so please be kind if i don’t happen to know that this person is Actually a tinhat or whatever).

show fic: NO. (seriously. i don’t feel comfortable putting my ao3 account out there. please respect my privacy on these trying times <3)

I REALLY don’t care about your rpf/fic talk: fair! i’ll be tagging every single one of these posts as “fanfic spotlight”, so just mute the tag using tumblr settings so you’ll never have to look at these! likewise, you can follow the tag if you want to keep up with it, or search it on my blog to look at the other entries you might have missed.

Hey, my fic is here and I don’t feel comfortable with it being shared over here: no problem! let me know as soon as you can and i’ll take it down <3

[miroyuuu]

Hiiii tell me more about the cheer au!

😳cheer au u say 👉👈

heh just for festivities sake i like to think the boys especially skwisgaar n toki have spirit and like to rep the colors (which are i guess pastel pink and blue haha) and paint their nails those colors too! at football games pickles n murderface put streaks of pink and blue paint across their cheeks heh

also i am definitely going in a pickleface direction for this au i just think there is SO much potential.. while skwistok is the already established committed af couple in this au, pickleface is the kinda slow burn where they both have feelings for each other, pickles is a lil flirty with mf here and there while mf is too scared of rejection to make a move... but its mostly them just goofin off and having homoerotic moments while working out/wrestling together 😏

REALLy though im just thinking abt after a montage of them spotting each other, holding the other's punching bag, that thing where you wear the big funny gloves and take the boxer's hits (yes i love sport related tropes but am the furthest from a jock myself Lol idk what I'm talking about) anyways it ends in a practice wrestling match and murderface has got him pinned beneath him against the mat and pickles just. has this tiny grin because he's like "finallyyy". Hes so used of flirting with him just for him to get flustered and either not reciprocate (bc murderface has been telling himself no way his feelings are returned he must just be imagining this) or pushing past it quickly. Anyways, mf is on top of him n they're heaving n red in the face and mf's eyes flit down to his lips then back up to his eyes and pickles is just like "do et." and mf is suddenly drawn out of his trance and tries to shake off the tension, moving to get up before pickles just grabs him by his uniform and crushes their lips together 😳👉👈

Ok seriously idk how it happened but cheer au ended up REALLY opening my eyes to all the good in pickleface?? Suddenly i am so emo over them??

Anyways the pickleface mutual pining is so painfully obvious to the skwisgaar and toki who are just watching from the sidelines chatting together about how oblivious they both are. murderface catches skwis n toki in the lockers one day for advice about what to do about his 'crush on this girl in his math class that he wants to ask out but is afraid of being rejected' one day after cheer practice and skwis n toki just trade this knowing look hehe

also about the pickleface morning car rides 🥺 pickles is always leaving in a messy rush from his house, holding an arm out to flip off seth who's sneering at him through the window of his own car. The second he hops up into murderface's truck hes groaning about the newest shitty thing seth did and kicking the inside of mf's car. Murderface just listens and talks shit about seth with him, and he lets pickles drink the rest of his redbull and the stale cheetos that have been sitting in the cupholder since yesterday. Anyways their car rides to and from school are always kind of the highlight of murderface's day just cus he gets to talk to pickles a lot.. hes been harboring a big crush on him for years now and its the one thing that he really shys up about, when pickles prods at it and flirts w him.