#do they understand love idk
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thhinking, thiking, thinkking wippp
i havee an idea but i am unsureeee if i am right aboutt things so like...
im sleepy so i may change my opinions later but immm pretty sure non of them could ever imagine themselves dating another person or beinggg in genuineeee love?? they havent experienced anything that lasted very long... so i assume they have a skewed idea of what love iss, yeah thats what im thinking rn, idk i am confusing myself again teehee
theyre thinkin bout love!
#do they understand love idk#does it matter NO#everyones perception of them is so fun#i like reading how people think theyd be in a genuine relationship#or howd they react to being likeddd#its all correct to me all of that is possible boehbah!#its funnn but ig im going w just what i think based on canon#my canon ig#they all have diff ideas of it of courseee#but i dont think any of them are confident in what they think#cause that’s how I feel as an inexperienced little creature#i project “thumb up”#doodles
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for what it's worth, i was telling the truth when I said I enjoyed working with you
#parkour civilization#parkour civilization fanart#parkciv#evbo#seawatt#seavbo#minecraft#minecraft art#holy shit#this prompt struck me like a thunder bruh#i knew i HAD to immediately open ibispaint again#seavbo art after another it just never stops#doomed toxic yaoi givin me the best shit ever hell yeah!!!!!!#original mizisua album cover in da twitter link!!!#god i love doomed pairings you dont understand#yeah my evbo has eyeliner or something idk#hope im one of the first to do this heheh#is that sweat or tears?
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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Bored out of their minds waiting for the helo
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod soap#cod gaz#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#cod fanart#I. do not understand forearm muscles. please help.#also I haven't drawn Gaz in so long <3 I love how he turned out#I make him wear this sleeveless hoodie a lot... idk it just feels like something he would wear#these are really fun to do and they only take like and hour maybe 90 mins#i feel like i can focus more on anatomy when its not a whole comic
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The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.
The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly thinking about/reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge them.
He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.
Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.
If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars
If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.
In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.
In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.
And the thing is that there are scenes that implies that the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.
Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.
Also little footnote here that I think this is a reference to the moon over the mountain but I digress
#bsd#atsushi nakajima#bsd atsushi#nakajima atsushi#idk#on the floor wallowing in pain as we speak#bungou stray dogs#tagging is hard and i’m lazy#I love the Atsushi trauma dumping for no reason headcanon too#but I have to complain about it not being canon accurate#just don’t put it in fanfiction ok that’s all I ask#Guys let atsushi be painstakingly vague about his past in peace stop ruining it#atsushi#Atsushi hated pain#but pain had been an intimate- dies#anybody have fanfic recs with this concept or do I have to write them myself#idk guys you’ll just never catch me writing anything where the other characters truly understand Atsushi#sorry#Kunikida will never be written to know what the fuck is wrong with him for as long as I live#He just gives up#at some point
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The Amazing Devil truly knocked it out of the park with Fair in terms of love songs i mean its got everything. Domesticity, deep adoration, confessions of love when youre sure no one else can hear, a that's what she said joke, yogurt, genuinely dont think there's a more romantic song on the face of the earth
#its everything 2 me you dont understand#the 'him' in that song.... hes so me#need to have a word with joey batey and madeleine hyland abt this one fr#god. the thats what she says joke almost reduces me to tears sometimes.#how unreasonably in love i am with everything you do!!!!#i cant even pick more lines from the verses to quote like its all so. waugh.#they werent lying that devil sure can amazing#their constant ability to marry small ridiculpus mundane things with profound metaphorical epic things really shines in Fair. idk#every time i see a bad taylor swift lyric in the next few days ill just listen to some tad to cleanse my soul#my shit#the amazing devil
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i love you. no, you don't. but thanks for sayin' it.
#spike#spike btvs#spuffy#spuffyedit#btvsedit#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#anyway. first scene spike lays eyes on buffy in the show and the last scene and i'm gettin EMOTIONAL about it#something something there's a shining golden thread running from the moment spike decides to kill this slayer to him bursting into flames#underneath sunnydale high. and that thread is his and buffy's intense mutual understanding of each other fr fr#and what is intense mutual understanding if not love at its core. really and truly.#idk i was gonna do something so different with this and then i ended up doing an edit that looks exactly like all of my other edits :/#but i do kind of like it. so. whatever.#it's terribly simple#you know you want to dance
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valentine, you're a horse ❤️
#my little pony#mlp g3#wish-I-may#wish-I-might#ok so. I'm gonna ramble for a sec#normally when I post on valentine's day I complain in the tags about being single. but I won't this year!#I've recently realized I'm definitely somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. and that I'm perfectly content without a partner#in the past I've described myself as 'emotionally unavailable' or having 'commitment issues' but neither of those things were ever true#I'm a very loving and loyal person!#I've always been extremely affectionate with friends and family but unable to have the same level of love for potential partners#unsure if I'm just demisexual/demiromantic or actually aroace but I'm definitely not the default settings type of gay lol#I'm a big fan of romance and sex in fiction! but irl? 😅😬 idk about that fam! idk!#hypothetically I would like to have a gf one day and maybe fall in love but now I understand why that may not happen#or atleast is gonna take a while. and that's fine :)#tldr; if your top song on spotify last year was Cupid by Fifty Fifty it's time to do some soul searching lol#happy valentine's day!! 💕
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REQUIRED READING for any noisecouple enjoyers: @manicplank 's "the colour pink" fic ITS SOOOO GOOD and i just had to do a little animation of their date.... so so so so cute i love them forever
gif version under the cut:
idk why it loses so much quality . kind of annoying but oh well
#pizza tower#my art#animation#noisecouple#noise x noisette#the noise pizza tower#noisette pizza tower#theodore noise#noisette#ok a couple of rambly things#number one i prommy their hair started off as black but i kept adding layers and it kinda turned brown and now its too late.#just pretend their hair is darker lol#secondly im genuinely so bad at understanding . words#so i may have interpreted the scene / outfits wrong but i tried my darndest#third of all i love them so much#and i loved every second of drawing this#FOURTH OF ALL sorry i have lots to say#i tried out the watercolour feature for the background of this one#so if it looks a little weeiiird thats cuz idk what im doing :)#ok thats all enjoy mwah
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“This Is A Bad Idea”
“I Don’t Care”
Uhh HAPPY VALENTINES DAY *throws guys kissing at you and runs away*
If you wanna see more of them I have a LOT on my Patreon. Uhhhh yeah bYE —
#I’m so tired of being afraid of sharing simple smooching#what’s some making out between two dudes in their mid 20’s?#they are down bad#*shakes them in a jar full of marbles*#kissing#smooching#make out#idk how else to tag this#leoichi#LeoSagi#they ARE ADULTS OKAY#(hate feeling like I need to defend myself before posting anything but it’s my art and my au and I can do what I want)#I hope ppl like this#I just really love how the arm and hand on Leo came out#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME
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Mikey and Leo episode centered around Mikey wanting to push Leo and Draxum together since Leo’s the most reluctant to give Draxum any grace (for good reason!) But, thinking on the spot, Leo says he’s gotta go do something for Hueso and “just can’t hang out right now 😔” (yes, he says the emoji out loud.)
Mikey calls his bluff and now the three of them (Mikey having grabbed a weary Draxum along) go to Hueso’s to find that yes, he actually does have a job for him. Said job asks for Leo to go with Hueso to deliver multiple pizzas to this giant yokai quite a distance away, and Hueso figured it would probably go better with Leo’s help (emphasis on probably.)
Well, Mikey decides that this would be a great bonding opportunity for them and basically invites he and Draxum along. Unfortunately for Leo, Hueso doesn’t care enough to wave away more help, though he does side-eye the wanted criminal Baron Draxum coming with them. But who is he to judge? (This choice has consequences.)
The journey goes about as terribly as you’d expect, but at least the pizzas get delivered on time.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#rottmnt draxum#rottmnt hueso#listen you don’t understand#imagine mikey trying to get leo to accept draxum as a father figure only for this to push leo to purposefully turn to Hueso instead#idk I love when this accidental flaw of Mikey’s is explored and I think it meshes well with Leo’s own AND fits nicely with their dynamic#100% this ends with Leo & Hueso bonding and Mikey & Draxum bonding and Mikey & Leo bonding and even Hueso & Mikey a bit#but notably only a little Draxum & Leo - because it’s important that Leo isn’t forced to accept him imo#Leo realizing during all his denials of Draxum that oh you know who he DOES think of as family? Hueso#Draxum is trying mainly for Mikey’s sake#Hueso is too tired to care about all this family drama but is reluctantly worried about Pepino#Mikey just wants one big happy family because - that’s just easier y’know?#he tries so hard to work with everyone’s emotions that he just wants things to be easy for once#he wants love and family to be easier than it is - than has BEEN lately#gimme that heart to heart Mikey & Leo moment in this regard#by the end Leo DOES raise Draxum up a bit from ‘complete distrust’ to ‘mild side-eye’#but it’s a long ways off if he ever gets pushed into the family tier#and also#SO MUCH SLAPSTICK COMEDY and sarcastic comedy in this episode fr#and if you’re wondering-#yes they DO fight the Yokai monster they’re delivering the pizzas to#but they get paid so it’s whatever#kinda wanna attempt to copy the style of the show and make fake screenshots of this ‘episode’ ngl
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so, we know that abuse and victim responses to abuse are very central to aftg, but what i find interesting is how other characters respond to the victim’s reactions, especially when it comes to mourning their abuser. there’s something about kevin mourning riko, aaron mourning tilda, neil mourning mary, andrew mourning cass, thats so important to me because it really truly highlights how even when people are united through similar traumas, the differences in their situations makes it impossible to fully understand the relationship a person has to their abuser. neil, aaron, and andrew are united through the abuse, neglect, or - what the fuck is the word i’m thinking of? permit? condone? i mean, knowingly allowing it to happen and not intervening - stemming from a maternal figure. but neil can’t understand why andrew would hold on to cass for so long - he refused to let her go until aaron came into the picture. and andrew can’t understand why aaron would mourn for tilda, potentially viewing aaron’s grief as a betrayal of their promise. and they all ridicule kevin for his reactions to riko. of course, neil and andrew are also abused by riko, but they still can’t understand the complicated relationship between kevin and riko because, at the end of the day, they just weren’t there.
i mean this is primarily an observation but i really love how trauma and trauma response is depicted as nuanced, complex and overall just difficult to understand from an outsider perspective in the books. it reads as really real, and though it can be frustrating when a character doesn’t understand a different character’s response, you have to understand that their perception of said character’s response is warped by their own experience of abuse.
andrew bounced from home to home, never had stability, so obviously he held tight on to the first mother-figure that didn’t outright hurt him. his self-worth was probably low enough that he thought living with drake was a fine price to pay to keep cass.
neil only ever had his mother, and he’d willingly accept her harsh hands because he believed she was just keeping him safe from the very real dangers that were closing in on them.
aaron was dealing with an addiction, and so was his mother; he was equally dependent on her to avoid withdrawal as he was scared of her anger.
i don’t really have a point anymore but you get what i’m saying
#or maybe this doesn’t make sense at all#idk i am struggling with words today#but genuinely i love how there’s no perfect ‘therapy friend’ in the series because it’s so unrealistic when someone is dealing with trauma#and somehow someone with a completely different upbringing understands them perfectly and always says exactly what the character needs#to hear#it’s something you see in fiction too much#the way these characters share certain experiences but aren’t 100% united in their responses to trauma#makes them feel so real#even if it means they say the wrong things sometimes#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#kevin day#aaron minyard#i do indeed ramble on too much ik what ur thinking
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
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y'all have eventually got to realize that kunikida's temper and attentiveness to his schedule aren't callousness, they're coping mechanisms. right. y'all have to eventually figure out that much over seasons + tens of chapters of him being so tender it would snap him in two if not for the order he's constructed around himself. y'all will inevitably pick up on that with how he approaches dazai and kyouka, especially, right? surely.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd kunikida#part of why studio bones adapted osamu dazai's entrance exam the way they did was to contextualize kunikida ahead of his reaction to kyouka#which is why it's so obnoxious that y'all get so stuck on atsushi being there#when the point is that it's because kunikida cares so much for atsushi that he's so hard on him regarding kyouka#atsushi is a spectre in kunikida's would be past because kunikida's past is a spectre in his relationship with atsushi#multimedia storytelling is SO good for things like this#but this post isnt about that#it's about how i still cant understand how people think kunikida is callous towards dazai#when he adores dazai so much that he intensively drills into atsushi the protocol should dazai ever actually nearly succeed in his attempts#dazai scares the hell out of kunikida#but kunikida cant let himself be rendered ineffective because of that so he constructs a version of it he knows what to do with#without freezing up#idk i just love kunikida#that's my man
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Dumb joke I stole from a TV show I never watched that I saw in a post here on tumblr dot com :Þ
#' boy stfu and do what your mother says '#also lookit me- i know water cans didnt look like that back then#idc#its for the bit#the incredibly dumb bit#vinland saga#bjorn#thorfinn#askeladd#also i do not understand the saddle askeladd has here but its the 1 at the end of ch19 and idk i did my best#but idk shit about saddles or horse stuff so i wasnt gonna go in and try and make it make sense#love just makin the background 'in the fuckin woods somewhere'#bjorns gonna use thorfinns winter cloak thing to dry poor horsey off#poor horsey gonna freeze to death all cause kids a smartass 😔#the bit is dumb but man its nice finally feelin like drawin fr again
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lazy pinterest redraws featuring my 6 favorite NEETs + others (2nd edition)
#osomatsu san#おそ松さん#osomatsu#karamatsu#choromatsu#ichimatsu#jyushimatsu#todomatsu#totoko yowai#atsushi#ghost's doodles#shinushi#<- because of one of them...#BUT YAAYYYYY I DID MORE REDRAWS!!!!#featuring self insert stuff at the end :p shinushi and ghostoro for life..... smiling#ALSO thank sable for the shinushi/ghostoro and atsushi base pic#i LOVE doing these so much u guys don't understand#ummm idk if it can be considered takoparty spoilers because of nyaas baby mii... idk#idk shrug emoji
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