#do that. but theres also sth wrong with me

[rpfisfine]

i think my problem is that sometimes im extremely traditionalist when it comes to ppl customizing the main playable character of a video game and sometimes im not. i will watch gtav playthroughs on yt where the person playing doesn't make a change to michael's appearance the entire game and i'll be like boringggg give him long hair and glasses and a stubble and put him in a suit. shave his head and make him wear strictly hawaiian shirts. do SOMETHING. but then i'll see a rdr2 clip where arthur has a moustache and sideburns and is dressed all dapper or a different clip where he has a shaved head and full length beard and is wearing like a floral print vest and i'm like that's not arthur you didn't read the source material. arthur wears the default beige coat and blue shirt for the entirety of the game and only lets his beard & hair grow long when he gets tb in the second half of the game bc its too sad for me to look at his pale sunken cheeks. also you smell so bad

[ganondoodle]

(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)

apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this

i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either

are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all

something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)

given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??

are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )

(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)

[pikslasrce]

you guys have nooooo idea how crazy this moving period has been november was CRAZYYYYY literally all three of us are going insane from all the shit going on ever since we found the new place

[stjeromeshospital]

HIIIII!!!!! Im late as hell but, before i get to the art request thing: Ive always been curious about what inspired you to make a lot of your ocs? Like what SPARKED that idea, if anything in particular? Especially for characters like Laika and Audrey!

Also…. Here is my creature son…… I thought you might enjoy him :)

HI MALCALM. i want to say before anything im rlly obsessed bc i think u n me are on the same page in regards to character design that guy with long sharp feature is awesome. like his face shape im obsessed eith i just notice that. i really do fucking love this character design it was fun to draw i need to draw mkre of your chars i never got around to during artfight i can say we both burnt out LAWL

thats a hard quastion but i love you for asking it ehmm its hard because i really dont know i just kind of look at art all the time and what people make and watch and experience and read stuff and 1 small piece of something inspires you until you collect enough small pieces to make 1 big thing. i get inspired by lots of stuff and tuck away whatever i like to use later or i just think alot. these days i dont really have very many OCs that are just "mine" anymore most if not all of them start off as fandom chars and i just make them more complicated until its not abt that anymore. audrey and delainey ar the only characters that i have these days that dont stem from fandom even laika actually is a fan character for my buddy henry's original universe. i like stuff i like what people make and i like that people make things and i like to dance around in them and make stuff up too YAY!

the idea for laika really only exists as it does because of the freedom of the universe theyre in, i wanted to make a character design that is complete nonsense and a premise that i like and think is fun without the restraint of grounding or rulesets, their entire being is based in "i think it would be fun if" and their design is entirely self indulgent. audrey is a different story because he is the oldest character i have and have had, he's gone through a variety of design changes and in fact did not even have a human design until i started posting him on this blog, he had existed for years and years before that. but also he is exactly like laika because he is my MOST self indulgent oc and i do whatever i want to him. having ocs is about smashing them together like barbie

[vee-xxo]

☆☆☆- random Katsuki Bakugou relationship headcanons of mine

PART TWO

Since ppl loved the first, here's more only for u 😍😍😍

Right so before u guys start dating this bitch does not know how to flirt

Call him "pretty boy" and he just tells you to shut the fuck up 💀

"Hey hot stuff~" "Eat shit and die."

This also doesnt change when ur dating sry

Except maybe he'll look away a lil shy

BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HES FLUSTERED OR ANTTHING NOO NO☝️☝️☝️

He does actively like look for u

But he'll be VERY secretive n just so happens to be wherever u go

Not in a stalker kinda way, u know he does it

But god forbid anyone else figure that out

Tbh he's a huge show off

Which is not news at all BUT a big difference for him

Cus when he knows ur watching, in his mind he's all like "😈 muhaha they're losing their shit rn"

& when he's done he'll sideeye the shit outta u just to see if ur blushing or something

Imagine ur just like "🥱🥱"

He explodes

Just falls over & dies lmao

But only emotionally

Outside he'll be like

"Uhh fuckin uh idc uhh I don give a fuck"

But he was lying, he did give a fuck😔😔

HOW DOES HE KISS THO??

Hehe

He doesnt know shit

When u first kiss hes so fucking worried bro omg

Like it's just a lil peck, but uhh

It's probably rlly short

Unless u can keep him calm somehow, then it might actually be kinda nice

He'd last like 5 secs before quickly pulling away

After that he'll just stare at you like

👁👁 (imagine theres angry brows)

It's up to you to say sth cus his mouth is SHUT

Remember how I said hes private w his relationship?

If not, I said it riiiight here ;D

Yea so eventually ppl will know

ESPECIALLY the Bakusquad :DD

KIRISHIMA IS SO HAPPY FOR U GUYS💞💗💝💓💝💗💘💞💝💕💞💘💓💝

He'll be like "THATS acting like a man, Bakugou!" assuming u guys r healthy together ofc

The other three r also happy ofc

But theres one thing they all got on their mind more

"How tf is he dating someone before us??"

Good question tbh

Well it probably went somewhat like this:

"HEY DUMBASS!" You heard, angry footsteps approaching. "Bwuh?" You made a confused noise, turning to see Bakugou, in all his shitty posture. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, elbows locked and his head lowered, making his choppy bangs fall over his eyes. "You..." He rasped out, one hand rising up, pointing a threatening, naked finger directly at you. It seemed as though even the muscles in his fingers had tensed up entirely. 'Oh shit.' You thought to yourself. What did you do now? Did you say something wrong? Teased him one too many times? But your thoughts halted once his hand switched to show his thumb pointing at Bakugou himself. "I'M TAKING YOU TO THE ARCADE! THIS SATURDAY, TWO PM!" He barked out. You could see his face now. His jaw was clenched shut, his teeth pressing together in tension while his red eyes stared seemingly into your soul. Like he was trying to intimidate you, distracting you from what might be the sound of his heart pounding in his chest, like it was about to explode. "Uh." Was your first reaction. "O- Okay?" Was your second. "GOOD." He yelled. Shoving his hand back in his pocket, he turned around, snapping his head back down into its previous position as the stomped off. "DON'T BE LATE!" He added as he fled the interaction.

"Huh." You thought to yourself.

☆☆☆☆☆

HIIIII :DDD Thank u guys SO MUCH for all the support on my previous headcanons! I even added a little scenario for you at the end this time! I hope you enjoyed this post as much as the last! If you did, let me know and I might make a third ;))))❤❤❤

ALSO before I leave, I started writing a Bakugou x y/n slow burn, updates take a while, but I hope I can catch your interest enough to check it out! Thank you so much in advance!! <3333

[genderkoolaid]

you have good takes so I'd be interested in your opinion on sth that's bugging me

Would you say queer cis men are discriminated against in terms of gender? my friends say they are only discriminated im terms of sexuality.

where I live it's common practice to rally around gender discrimination but to exclude queer cis men and that's the narrative, that they will never experience gender discrimination, but it doesn't sit right with me.

as I see it, they are discriminated in terms of being men "in the wrong way" just as trans men are.

what even is discrimination and privilege. my head hurts.

Gender and sexuality are so deeply intertwined that I think its hard to separate the two. I mean throughout human history it has been pretty common for gay men (and women) to be considered their own gender- not just in cultural third genders but also in the West (uranian, for example, is a word that was used- by gay men- to describe gay men as a "third sex," and theres a lesbian equivalent but I can't remember it). Being a man who liked other men meant you had a Woman Brain or Woman Soul or some variant of that idea (hence why trans queers and cis queers have often been grouped together), because you could not be a normal "real" man unless you were heterosexual. This is also why gay trans people have been discriminated against medically; if you are a woman with Man Brain, you can't become a man with Woman Brain, because then you would've been a straight woman.

I think part of the issue is that people tend to view "discrimination based on gender" as meaning "experiences misogyny in the same way or similar way cis women do." Gay men can and do experience misogyny, but if they aren't literally being seen as women while it happens, people may overlook it or just consider it sexuality-based discrimination. And there very much are cis gay men who are misogynistic and obviously have the benefit of being AMAB men, especially if they are gender conforming and socially acceptable and live in the right area... but I don't think "cis gay men can have privilege" logically concludes with "so they can't be discriminated for their gender." Especially since a lot of "cis gay men" ARE weird in the gender, they might not even be cis or they might be cis and something else. And we shouldn't judge the position of all cis gay men on the axis of gender based on the most privileged cis gay men we can imagine.

I don't think any sort of "you are less [gender] because [sexuality]" bigotry can be considered just discrimination for sexuality and not gender at all. I also think gender is so pervasive in all corners of life that all systems of oppression influence and use it- but with queerness specifically I think gender is always a fundamental part of it. Gay men aren't hated for the nebulous concept of "attraction to men," because women who are attracted to men aren't hated for it. They are hated for being men who are attracted to men. If people can understand how misogyny plays a fundamental role in lesbophobia, then it should be pretty clear how gay men's gender plays a role in homophobia as well.

[borom1r]

2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 12, 14, 18, 20, 22 for lotr from the violence ask meme 😈

OK i have answered 2 already but lets do this thing fuck yea (thank uuuuuuuuuu!!!!!)

3) screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

look its not really a "take" but the amount of people who just post variations of "I don't like Boromir, he's the worst" IN THE BOROMIR TAG is genuinely insane to me. like have ur (incorrect) opinion but keep it out of the tag worstie

7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

uhhhh no one thank the gods. ive always disliked Denethor Because of canon. but i will say stumbling across the file index of an old LotR fansite + clicking on files w/ no preview only to find graphics thirsting over Denethor did cause massive psychic damage lmao

8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

idk 😭 i dont interact w/ the broader fandom really. i do find the way ppl reduce Pippin to Just a joke character in fanon insufferable tho

9) worst part of canon

BOOK!FARAMIR + HIS MIDDLEMEN SHTICK MY WORSTIE.

also ngl i do find the Aragorn/Arwen romance....... Weird. like I'm far from averse to "love at first sight" so long as it comes with the recognition that it's really more infatuation + true love takes work. and there's the fact Aragorn fell head over heels for an image of Lúthien, and Arwen's heart did not turn towards him until Galadriel dressed him up in elven finery. not to mention she was "not yet weary of her days" when Aragorn dies + has to die "whether I will or I nill" like she. wastes away? slowly alone in Lothlórien.

like idk [Aragorn kinnie voice] that's my sister, man but all that aside I do think.. Arwen deserved better? I like that the movies made her more active + I do wish she'd actually been there at Helm's Deep bc it would've been fun to see her and Éowyn bond but yeah. the vibes were off with that whole situation imho

12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

huh. does Théodred count? i feel like he's kind of a blank slate so fandom can just kinda run wild with him but i do genuinely enjoy writing him + find that there are solid implications for at least a friendship between him + Boromir (if not more). i mean, Boromir got a Rohirric shield from someone

14) that one thing you see in fics all the time

ok th implication here bein its sth that bothers me which thankfully i pretty much only read Aramir or Faramir/Éomer fics soooo theres not much??

i think the only things that RLLY get to me + they aren't THAT popular trope-wise (or ive been rlly good at avoiding them lmao) are fics that 1) make Boromir overly aggressive or 2) completely woobify Faramir

+ tbh the Faramir one bothers me more actually. that is a grown ass man and captain of the rangers of Ithilien.....................

18) it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

HRM. again idk :3 <- blissfully not interacting w the broader fandom + only interacting w/ ppl w correct takes on Boromir + Rohan

(tentatively i need to start following more ppl i see some of yall in my notes + i shld follow. sorry im like a nervous dog u need to coax out from under the porch lol)

20) part of canon you found tedious or boring

side-eyeing my copies of the Histories. i need to finish those. eventually.............

22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ignores?????? nothing i think (thankfully lmao) but i will say there is SO much detail in the films that it makes me INSANE. ik we literally just talked abt this in DMs lmao but i could sit n talk abt LotR costuming for fucking HOURS the films were SO stunning and the clothing alone reveals sooooooo much abt the characters i think its a super underrated vehicle for character analysis :3

[butmakeitgayblog]

Another anon here and regarding straights enjoying queer fiction, there's a perspective I think is worth sharing (for the record, I'm not straight).

So there's a huge fanbase consisting of straight cis women who enjoy mlm content. It's a thing to the point where there's gay shows made specifically targeting this fanbase.

I got to talk to one of my friends who dabbled in this stuff. I asked her why? What's the draw? She pointed out sth I thought was pretty interesting.

She said that for straight girls it can be pretty hard to enjoy straight pairings because they will always experience the story through the eyes of the female character, who is also limited by societal rules or even gender roles. By watching/reading a mlm, there's no female perspective, which takes away all the irl problems.

For example, take the "if guys get sex it's a flex, if girls get sex it's a shame" bullshit. By watching mlm instead of mlw and watching through one or both male characters, they can escape the whole stigma altogether.

To take a step further, since there's an inherent safety/advantage in being a guy in many situations. They can sort of experience that freedom through taking the female character out of the equation. It's sort of like getting gender euphoria but instead it's gender role freedom euphoria???

Theres also the male gaze problem. The majority of straight shoes have gender roles to varying degrees, which skewers the power dynamic within the pairing. This makes it hard for straight girls to enjoy pairings bc they will always be put into a position where they notice inequalities toward them. So again escape.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, I agree that this topic is pretty complex.

It is! It's very complex. But just to kind of comment on some of your points - a lot(not all) of the straight women who consume mlm media tend to consume it to the exclusion of everything else.

I could possibly understand the points your friend made better if they also consumed things like mlw media and fics written by women, or wlw fics/media at all. But they generally don't, especially not the latter. Often times a lot of straight women mass-consumers of mlm fic and commercial media, in my experience at least, tend to treat wlw content with disgust, ridicule, or flat out indifference. Perhaps not to the same vitriolic degree straight men tend to treat mlm content compared to wlw content, but it's still there. So that kind of... makes me question if they're actually being entirely honest with themselves as to why they're consuming the specific content that they do.

I'm just saying, straight women can be just as guilty as straight men when it comes to how and why they approach the specific queer media that they do, especially when it's to the exclusion of other kinds of queer pairings.

Because I pose this: if it really all falls down to power dynamics and releasing themselves from the male gaze, then why focus exclusively on a gendered pairing that just erases the woman entirely? Why a pairing that focuses solely on a basic personal sexual preference? Makes women irrelevant to existence? Why not gravitate toward more straight women writers who thwart or rewrite a lot of those societal gender inequities that effect women within their work? Why not give respect or audience to wlw content that makes the male gaze and male/female power dynamics irrelevant as well?

See what I'm saying?

That being said, it's still not my job to police that consumption for all the same reasons I said in that last post. And to reiterate, I'm not saying your friend is wrong for feeling how she feels or that she's making it up. I don't think that at all! People have a lot of complex feelings, which is why this topic is inherently complex. I just think two things can be true at the same time, even when we may not realize those biases about ourselves

[narwhalandchill]

(just my 2.3 pull / general hsr rambles/rant but i get negative abt fireflys characterization again so thought id hide it for all the fans sake. good for yall & good luck pulling her i just cant get into her)

welp got my e1 gallagher (+ e2 mika) in 30 pulls on firefly so thats it from me, ill get e2 from the character selector so at least thats sth!!! i have been playing him a bit even at e0 and i do overall like how he feels so getting him to that e2 breakpoint where he rly starts to thrive as a sustain pick is v nice

anyway no early firefly which is whatever i consider her in game writing an absolute failure anyway and havent cared enough to watch Any of the trailer stuff either bc like . they lost me in 2.0 im sorry girl no matter how hypothetically good those trailers could be the writing team lost me forever at the ayaka-teppei forced date arc and thats it lmao . she couldve been an actual character but oh well what matters is shoving how cute and perfect and sad and in love with TB she is down ur throat at every fucking moment . her idle animation is so fucking bad too it made me laugh irl at how awful and cheap the fanservice is w her like yeah alright navia idle (which is already the worst idle in genshin i hate it) 💀💀💀 how do you do a characters potential this fucking dirty holy shit . we havent shilled firefly self insert ship to players enough so lets upskirt her too uwu!!!!!

But uhhh yeah thats a me being a hater thing ultimately i just physically cannot stand characters like this and first impressions do matter . Dont let me ruin her for u. nothing but props to her VA too like as much as her general characterizations appeal has been unsuccessful on me still shes been giving it the Absolute most to try to make her feel real and sympathetic and i respect that a lot

Still tho only thing that rly sucks w not just getting firefly at 4 pity or whatever and being done w it is just the. Welp Guess ill proceed to be unable to full clear any of the next 7 AS or MoC updates bc i pulled the wrong characters instead of Good Meta Dev Faves acheron and firefly like havent rly been a fan of the way the shilling has been going recently . like i just have rly shit matchups into the weaknesses of most stages these days and idk i havent even felt like Bothering to do PF 4 bc i just. DoT PF is always the fucking worst and i genuinely dont know what the hell to try to slap at it for a clear. guess my bad for not pulling swan either like truly my mistake . whatever its just a game .

Actually am i getting like burnt out ? well tracks for a honkai game i suppose. ig it also has to do w just the absolutely abysmal luck ive had now like. ive lost LC 75-25 of the 3 times i went for it TWICE . ive lost 50-50 like 5 times in a row now lmao and fully expect to lose on jade too at this point 🙃 might not even manage to get her at all . Sigh guess thats gacha at its worst for u

Sorry this got way more negative than i thought HSJSKSKSKSKSKD i hope the 2.3 story ends up being good at least so theres Sth good about it . and its not like i will die not clearing endgame content w full stars or sth it just sucks bc the way its happening just feels bad

edit: yeah im @ coffee break at work and it took me this fucking long to realize i just casually typed mika instead of misha JSJSTUHTS8J5Z9 💀💀💀💀 im so sorry misha youre way better than that nerd 😭😭😭😭😭 esp at c2 w the def shred i might even build him who knows . So sorry for this

[menalez]

https://www.tumblr.com/youturningintodust/735765266414387200/yes-this-is-rape-culture-done-by-women-well?source=share

invert in op's bio

honestly the invert stuff is whatever to me bc i guess she’s a gnc lesbian so it’s like.. that was what they were called back then. if she feels it’s more succinct and fitting than terms nowadays, that’s fine, her choice. as a term it’s tied to homophobic ideology but i cant assume that’s her point in using it.

i personally don’t like the strap fixation online or in lesbian spaces, because it has made me & many other lesbians feel like weirdos tbh like. we feel like there’s sth wrong with us for NOT liking that but i guess she’s speaking from a diff perspective here, so that’s fine too.

i disagree with framing it as “butch/femme sex” & i dislike the assumption that there being a masc & a feminine woman within the same relationship means we’re having sex a certain way. it’s rly not like that and it sucks when ppl assume that butches can’t possibly enjoy reciprocal sex and only want to give instead of receive any sex acts. or, perhaps less damaging imo, that feminine women only want to receive and not give. it’s just… not the case. how we present to the world doesn’t say much about how we have sex.

the idea that not liking the fixation with strap that can be found in many spaces for women into women is tied to the idea that u need to “use your vagina (penetratively)” is also odd to me. there’s definitely lesbians who don’t enjoy receiving any penetration but enjoy receiving oral for example, or clit stimulation, or some form of rubbing like tribbing or scissoring or w/e else. idk why theres this assumption that it’s either u wear the strap or u get penetrated?? like. it’s not that rare for lesbians to not enjoy or want penetration, actually. maybe its rare to never want any form of penetration, but that’s also not that rare nor is it limited to butches??

but yeah if someone expresses only wanting sex in one way, to guilt trip them in any way or shame them in any way for not wanting to have sex the way YOU approve of is rapey and gross. she’s right about that.

idk why she’s acting like topping being “alien” to lesbians is normal tho…most of us enjoy reciprocal sex, meaning we are mostly vers. if a woman acted like topping is a totally weird thing to do, i reckon most women would not be compatible with her.

again rly hate the equating of female masculinity with being a stone top! she means stone butches, she should say that. it’s more common among butches, but it’s neither exclusive to butches to only want to have the type of sex she describes nor do all butches fit that standard either.

i’m sure what she describes exists but honestly the phenomena i’ve noticed more often is the opposite where people expect butches to not want to be penetrated or not want to have sex acts done onto them… i agree w her ppl who feel entitled to do that to butches are awful tho.

[effervescentdragon]

nothing alarmed me more than todays quali tbh. Dony get me wrong checo might be a great driver (in someone's opnion) but if charles and alonso are still behind him after the laps that they gave... this season is already done for. Bc there's no way checo is supposed to be ahead of charles and alonso. Fuck rb.

we're not doing fatalism here anon! listen. isnt there a like, some sort of consequence about red bull overspending last year? bcs i think i rmbr reading sth how its probably gonna be that they will exhaust all their alloted updates or whatever by mid-season, something similar to what brawn did in 2009. or maybe i made it up. either way, its what i believe in, and since theres more races now than there were in 2009 (and not to be that person but if there were more races back then im preeeetty sure red bull wouldve caught up to brawn) its not nearly over.

and also, semi-related to this, for absolute fucks sake, its only the 2nd race of the season, and not even the race, its quali, and checo cant fucking drive, so im not worried at all. everyone needs to chill and enjoy the racing as much as its possible, or like, step away for a bit if its that upsetting to (general) you. ive unfollowed a lot of people due to insane lvls of doomposting that i absolutely refuse to look at anymore, and i will be unfollowing more from what im seeing, because i want to enjoy the racing still, despite my favourites not doing supremely well. this is the reason i personally got into this, because of the racing, and sure, the narratives are compelling as fuck and all, but there is a fine line here and some people not only are over it, but in the immortal words of bianca del rio, they stepped over the line, turned around, and snorted it, and are acting accordingly. do a lot of things in f1 suck? yes. do i still have hope for my faves? sadly, foolishly, perhaps, but fucking yes. and im tired of the way some people act. but the only thing i can do is unfollow, block, and try to have as much fun as possible. and also curse whoever is a threat to my babies. 🥰

anyways, my point is: its not over until the trophy is given. patience, grasshopper :)

[ganondoodle]

something thats been driving me crazy is the constant worry that i am somehow using harmful stereotypes for the characters i write

like i am unfortunately white tm and me also being autistic and queer does not erase that obviously, im always trying to educate myself as best as i can, yet i feel like im always doing something wrong

its less of a problem when im working with the normal forms of hylia and demise since they are not really human, and though their humanoid disguises technically are still not human they do represent what they might have looked like if they grew up as one; i didnt want to make demises form too dark since i felt like it would perpetuate that stereotype of dark skin = evil which is already not great about ganondorfs character design, but didnt want to make him too light since i felt it would erase that part of his connection to ganondorf altogether and make it all the worse, but then again my demise isnt actually that evil, hes good at heart, so making him too light then would be even worse bc it would imply that light = good thing again

for hylia im even more anxious about it bc i intentionally gave her very dark skin to kinda subvert that light = good thing with zelda (tho in my AU the gods are not good and hylia isnt actually as loyal to them as it may seem bc she knows that.. which i feel complicates things just further; and also light an dark is just a very good contrast aesthetically?) but then i also like to intentionally make characters rather ?gender? but then i worry her being somewhat masculine would also be sth harmful bc i know black women are often treated as inherently less feminine .. which isnt my intention at all (tho my hylia .. doesnt rly have a gender? idk many characters i like to write/design dont have anything specific, like what more do you need than knwoing the right pronouns to call them?? qnq) her being rather cold and ruthless also feels like im doing something bad somehow

then theres the whole sexualization worry, i dont know if im doing that in a bad way bc honestly i just like .. drawing ...bodies? aesthetically? like yes they are very sexy but also wheres the line, am i somehow overstepping it without knowing?? how can i recognize what is normal 'finding certain things pretty or sexy' and what isnt??

so far i dont remeber anyone pointing anythign out as bad which im taking as a sign that i cant be doing that badly .. hopefully, maybe all this is a very stupid thing to worry about and its obvious to everyone else but i am so god damn afraid of doing something even slightly questionable and being hunted down for it (probably bc similar happened to me when i was a teen and it was about an absolut non issue, literally, so even the thought of doing something actually bad is mind boggling to me bc that other thing nearly cost me my life and i literally dont know how i survived and i would 100% not if it happened again..)

this is probably a very chronically online thing too but hoenstly i needed to get it out of my head for once

[nahalism]

did you ever need to take sth like antidepressants for anxiety or panick attacks? I recall you speakin about having dealth with them in the past & been wonderin if you ever tried medicating urself for it / would consider it if your nerves were getting too much 4 u at some point down the line or did you develop ur own way around those little&big pits of hell

xX

heyyyyy <3 (this will b long but this question deserves a thorough answer so hope thats ok)

ive been strongly encouraged to take various medications over the years, particularly for anxiety/mood stabilisation, and twoish weeks ago i ended up in hospital cause literally i lost my mind, and i felt so out of it that thats the first time i ever considered not just wanting, but needing medication in order to function. however, i didnt, cause i dont like making decisions in the moment (desperation leads to desperate decisions) and because before that experience and even during it, ive never felt convinced that medication was the solution to the problems i was facing. 1) due to the physical, mental and emotional side effects. & 2) because im not convinced the people prescribing the meds even know what is 'wrong' with me.— a lot of that has to do with the nhs being a mess, (its quicker to get meds than wait thru the referral time to get diagnosed & into therapy) but also, theres a lot of comorbidity in the diagnosis ive been given, so there are multiple things to treat & in their eye's medication gives a faster result than unpacking all of that individually. the recommendation was to put me on a cocktail of drugs that can fuck up my liver kidneys and endocrine system to 'see if it will work' .. :/.

the only thing that has ever worked for me is sitting with myself and my emotions, acknowledging them, doing things at my pace in my time, and structuring my life in a way that is tailored for me and my success rather than being successful in the world or in a socially accepted way. that means having a morning routine that caters to my mental emotional and physical health, (mindful practices, yoga, gardening, sound work etcetc), and finding ways to continue that throughout the day (working creatively and limiting my exposure to people or situations that are not for me/overstimulate me).

that being said, this routine (which is still being refined and altered) works pretty well for me, but comes with sacrifices and isnt fool proof. symptoms of my mental illness still persist & without being medicated people are less lenient when helping someone they feel isnt 'helping themselves', im also still working on how to be as sociable as id like to be, and often my spirals are triggered by the very system i have in place to help me. i often face feeling like a let down, like im lazy, like im a weirdo/recluse, like im incapable of being a normal person etc etc. for example, a lot of the friends i graduated with have experienced crazy growth in their careers and have a sense of social and financial security that i dont have because they can function year round, whereas i have months at a time where i dont feel myself and have to disappear in order to keep sanity and peace in my being, lol. that, and the fact that it takes me a lot of base maintenance and effort to function as a normal person makes me feel like shit if i let it, so i constantly have to remind myself on top of the work i do daily, that whilst there are things others have/experience, that i dont, the inverse is also true, and theres beauty to me being me in my way. and .. yeah 🤷🏽‍♀️. that part is hard. but its also worth it to me and has taught me a lot

all that being said, do your own research and decide what feels right and what is best for YOU. speak to your doctors, therapists, and friends who may be medicated, or look on forums online for perspectives from both sides. [*if anyone reading this has a helpful opinion 2 offer pls comment]. the feeling of helplessness when your in the throws of whatever mental illness you suffer from can be debilitating and if taking a pill everyday or when you need it can fix that, no ones opinion should sway you from doing what you need to do to function. some of my friends who are medicated swear by medication!! (particularly when it comes to adhd meds) cause not being able to process thoughts and function is horrible and ruins lives needlessly.

so yh.. i hope this helps. as long as you do whats best for you, i have no doubt you will find your way through this and that it will be worth it. above all, know that the power of your will, your mind, and your person, is what makes you special, and so even if it takes more for you to show up than it does others, that's absolutely fine. take your time with it, and know what nothing is wasted, because you have no idea the good that can come from working out the details. most of the advice i have to offer comes from making it thru an existential crisis or bout of depression. <3

blessings 2 u love

[gayspock]

hmmm

obvioously ive got no idea whats about to happen. but sorry. im on tom zareks side in so much of this. kind of rolling my eyes a bit at the show itself in some senses. bc again. idk what happens. sigh. but its obvious that zareks being pitched, by the show, as someone to be "against" - not to be so reductive about it, but yeah.

bc frankly like... everything hes saying? no offence. i completely fucking agree with. am i being insane. am i. someone else soundboard me here. bc, like please- a terrorist, sure, they keep overstating that but... also one from saggitaron, an extremely exploited colony, and thats what he was fighting for in the first place

and not to mention that everything he's advocated for, thus far... i agree with. the prisoners being used, like slaves- dont "its a hard choice, but one we have to make" me, bc its still wrong to have to fucking earn your freedom, jesus christ. even if, yes, humanity is on the god damn line.

AND we never see the actual civillians in the damn show-and thats sth thats actually frustrated me, thus far. but hes ALSO right about them. is now maybe the best time for total change? arguable. but like- also sorry but im onboard with dismantling whatever fucking system is in-place, if that system is presumabaly analogous to our own. hes right. i mean im kind of fuckin confused, bc again theyre not showing us much- but theres no money?? and some people are still living "as wealthy" whilst some are still labouring? sorry??? but yeah- fuckin yeah that needs to be addressed

like it would ANYWAY. the inequality would ANYWAY ofc. but like if theyre seriously having to build a new livelihood here then fuckin... GOD i dont know i dont think its mad or irrational to be pushing for that

AND no matter the results... whilst i do kind of yield, and recognise in a time of crisis a strong leader is kind of important, and shes made good decisions, its STILL not crazy to want fucking elections. i dont know. call me crazy lol im in the uk and we havent had the chance to choose a damn leader for a hot second. but like laura wasnt... anywhere near qualified to be the president. she wasnt elected by anyone, for anything, and calling for a damn vote isnt some extremist madness.

and i guess you can say this is all naive- that hes only advocating for this, to be in power himself- but... so is laura? like shes holding onto her position so she can do what she thinks is right; so she can exercise power. fucking SHRUG. whats the damn difference there? and shes the one with the upperhand right now. and dont get me wrong- i like laura and the decisions shes made genereally speaking but again... a) not crazy to want an elected leader and b) not crazy to question how shes handling civilian side of things bc we barely see that at all

and i think thats where i am eyerolling HARD at this show bc again idk. i EXPECTED this. but again. being reductive, but also its hard not to be because like- zareks being depicted as the antagonistic force here, and laura as the rational one, as one of our protags and its like... i dont MIND a difference of opinion playing out in front of me, you know, nor do i need my own political inclinations to align wholly with a show BUT... my point is its kinda exhausting the way they do kind of act like what zarek is saying is crazy and the show itself isnt challenging laura herself on THESE issues in particular when its justified. like they do with other hard decisions shes made but with some of this really not so much

and another thing was like similarly... they narratively justified it, by having that guy get apprehended as an assassin in the end, but also like... lee was making me suck my teeth this episode and groan. like seriously. stepping in and strongarming civillians in full on cop mode. i dont fucking like it dude. like when those two ppl were having a disagreement, and he sided against one guy despite the fact they had exhibited the same level of aggression with each other, bc that guy aligned with his own beliefs, and then exercised his power to threaten the other guy- yeah sorry again to be that guy but like... be for realll lee. and again i wouldnt be MAD that hed do that, in terms of a character decision, but again its like- obviously its in framing, yeah?

and this whole thing yes- WELL IT IS ALL VERY SILLY OF ME TO GET TOO IRRITATED, I MEAN PLEASE. THEYRE THE FUCKING MILITARY. THE ENTIRE MAIN CAST IS THE MILITARY. im not going into this expecting my own opinions to always be resonant here - and i wouldnt wiht any show. thats as equally braindead to expect that. but nonetheless man. its still one of those things im gonna bitch and moan about when it grates me in a particularly annoying way LOL bc like again. shru

[quietasfire]

so theres this instagram page i follow thats like lesbian centric and i respect that obviously but recently the admin has posted sth like "do u think its fair that bi women also have opinions when i post polls" which. i kno a lot of her poll questions r phrased this way bc obviously a lot of her audience agree w her and dislike the other pov which i understand but what i DONT understand is why have a public acc if its totally meant to block out other opinions ?? especially when theres a lot they have in common (bi women and lesbians r both into women etc). Like i sent in a dm once in a topic that i thought was aimed at the broader audience like "i totally agree w this bc it makes so much sense and it even lines up w me (not a lesbian) so yall are 100% right abt observing this phenomemon bc it applies to So Many People" which i thought was yk totally harmless bc i wasnt disagreeing or anything. but now im thinking like was that wrong to do bc 💀 Youre talking about lesbian experiences yes i respect that truly i do but do u actually expect and treat bi women like a completely different species like pls u know bisexuals. Are attracted to women too right like what is going onnnnnn truly

[borom1r]

FUCK I HIT ASK TOO EARLY SMH

4 5 6 9 12 14 18 19 20 21 22 24 25 and 26 (freebie: favourite h/c or whump headcanons because I’m a Fiend) for Boromir, Faramir, Éomer, and Théodred >:)

ALSO SIR PLEASE STOP DOING HELLA FUCKIN EDIBLES TOO FAST 😭🤣 I WORRY

SKSDHJFKJSDJ TYYYYY

Boromir—

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

UM. ok this is so fucking. this is SO DUMB but 1) Boromir is just inextricably tied to fantasy to me sorry BUT. im sticking him in The Sword and the Sorcerer bc i think if ANYONE deserves to get to mess around with a three-bladed magic rocket sword its Boromir

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Shock Me! by Baroness

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

loyalty :3 also bad at quantifying my own emotions sdkjhfsdkjf

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

YE. i think i could totally be roommates w/ him

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Boromir struggling with self harm impulses was sth that just kinda came up naturally in one fic + then got expanded on and now its. a very important hc to me actually, as some1 who also struggles w that

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

HRM. this feels like a cop-out answer but truly from the depths of my heart i think modern AU Boromir just dresses like Sean Bean. he'd just dress like a dad

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Boromir&Faramir sibling relationship is Everything to me forever + ever

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

huh. idk? i think all the relationships he has are interesting so there's no specific relationship that's bad on a fundamental level. like i think Denethor is a shit parent and i do not think he and Boromir have a GOOD relationship. but it IS narratively interesting

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

HM. like Merry and Pippin obviously but also i do think he and Éowyn would get on like a house on fire if they got to meet.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

hmmmm i like putting him in situations where hes Loved. my Boromir/Théodred/Aragorn fic is one of my favs just bc i like Spoiling Boromir. he deserves to be spoiled sdjkfhsjk

i dont.. Know that theres anything i dont like abt writing him??? hes very cathartic to write

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

same answer as above pretty much :3 i love when hes treated with tenderness and love by the narrative

+ ive bitched abt this before but fics that just make him a brute are the woooooooooorrrssst. like. thats. thats so antithetical to even the most BASIC reading of his character. worsties how do u get him THAT wrong???

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

HM. HRM. idk :3 hes very special 2 me like he is THEE comfort character rn so idk anyone else off th top of my head where im like oh theyre Like Boromir

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

i did not care abt Boromir when i was a child first getting into LotR. Sighs. i was a legolas + merry/pippin stan. NOW he is thee singular guy of all time forever. i wld die 2 defend him <33

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!! — favourite h/c or whump headcanons?

ok kinda already answered in 12 but i do love any fic exploring how Boromir reacts when like. it sinks in tht he doesn't have to shove everything aside to be this unbreakable pillar of strength. u know

Faramir—

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

oh easy. The Last Unicorn. like again sorry ik its fantasy still but theres such a quiet melancholy to that story, and so much love and care.. I think Faramir would fit right in

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Living Pyre by Khemmis

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

far too willing to sacrifice ourselves in search of approval

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

ye :3

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

he's so autistic. to me <3333333

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

i feel like he wld rlly like corduroy. modern au i think he'd still lean fantasy-inspired for his fashion sense

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Faramir&Aragorn and Faramir&Pippin friendships ilyyyyy

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

same answer as Boromir skjhfskjdf

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Aragorn!! autism2autism communication

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Faramir is so versatile w/ writing skjdfhskj i love him for angst, i love him for fluff... guy of all time (he deserves so many hugs)

he's very introspective so character studies are also very fun w/ him

(nothin i dislike wrt writing for him)

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

sth i like? love reading character study moments w him as much as i like writing them :3

dislike? woobification. he's an extremely capable soldier in his own right and captain of Ithilien's rangers. he does not need to be Babied

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

ties in2 my answer for four but the Lady Amalthea from The Last Unicorn actually. like again idk Faramir is so autistic-coded And trans To Me and just. yeagh. ethereal otherworldly magical creature trapped in a body that is fundamentally wrong + suddenly dealing w/ people who expect things of her that she just doesn't comprehend/expect certain reactions she cannot/does not give.

and her growing to love Lír because Lír takes the time to learn how to woo her in ways that truly work for her (instead of the ways princes are Supposed To woo their loves).

i think if Faramir got to watch/read The Last Unicorn it would rewire his brain love + light

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

again i never rlly thought much abt him originally. now tho? [aragorn kinnie voice] thats my whole entire little brother

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!! — favourite h/c or whump headcanons?

HRM. i think he does wind up with burns on his torso/arms at Least. at least. i do like the tenderness of him letting Éomer help look after the scarring

Éomer—

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

ummmm not so much sth i would put him in but i do think he should be allowed to marathon the Fast & Furious movies while intoxicated. fast cars hunky guys ridiculous stunts, 10/10 extremely fun

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

HM. ok this is like. in the context of Éomer/Faramir but Ride On by Cruachan

also Hulde Aan De Kastelein by Heidevolk

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

HRMGH. big fan of horses

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

uhhhhh yea?? maybe?? I feel like we might butt heads a little but not too bad

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

he’s nonbinary to me :3

at some point I’ll continue that post expanding on th theoretical overlap between Iron Age Norse conceptions of gender/mysticism and Rohan. but he is nonbinary To Me

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

farmer fashion lmao. again modern au Éomer is like. jeans work shirts boots etc. purely practical clothing + 100% has a farmer’s tan

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

I love his relationship with Éowyn like I do love sibling relationships so much. also really love his relationship with all of the Three Hunters like they’re so funny together

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

same answer!! nothin I really dislike bc even his negative relationships are super interesting

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

i genuinely really enjoy his + Gimli's banter i think they should get to be Actual Friends. that wld be a really fun dynamic i think

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

again idk anything super specific?? soz skjhfsjk i feel like im giving lame answers but i will say i do think its very funny that every time ive written a sex scene with Éomer its been outdoors. no beds for that Rohir

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

hmmmm im a weak bitch for Éomer/Faramir fluff fics :3

for dislikes— similar vein to Boromir but fics that make him a brute or treat him like hes stupid. feels weird besties

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

HM. i feel like i Should have an answer for this but i dont -_-;; th brain has been on 24/7 LotR lockdown for. So Long now. so i try to conjure other characters n my mind goes Blessedly Blank

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

look man. look when i first read lord of the rings all the way through, i was a weird trans autistic teen dealing with chronic depression and such a massive disconnect from humanity i was fully convinced i was a changeling. i was NOT paying attention to the Men in these books i was paying attention to one (1) elf and two (2) hobbits

impression of him now is [kinnie voice] brother in law :]

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!! — favourite h/c or whump headcanons?

touched on this briefly in one fic but i do think Éomer falls into a similar trap as Boromir where its like. "why should i bother Processing Emotions when i could kill 20-30 orcs instead. i will certainly not regret killing 20-30 orcs. wdym 'how am I feeling?'"

sth sth sth throwing himself recklessly into battle to combat crippling feelings of uselessness bc his cousin/practically his older brother is on his deathbed, his uncle is close behind and he's been exiled from his homeland, leaving his sister in the clutches of a skeezy little slimeball. getting hurt + not having the injury properly seen to until After bc, you know, he's got 20-30 Orcs To Kill

(don't be like Éomer. take care of yourself)

Théodred—

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

idk how much this counts but i wrote a fic retelling the story of Aran + Asmund with Boromir + Théodred, so that :3

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

ok well i feel like Théo is such a blank slate character with how little we know of him in canon that i can't give as solid an answer, but I'll drop the songs I've used to title Théo-centric fics:

Shine by Baroness (Boromir/Théodred)

Blot by Månegarm (Boromir/Théodred/Aragorn) < this one fits my personal vibes for him extremely well

+ technically, My Mother Told Me (Théodred&Éomer&Éowyn)

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Big Sibling w/ two younger siblings sdkfhd

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

ye!! we could vibe i think

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Well Again, I Think Théo Is An Extremely Blank Slate. BUT Théo being trans is deeply deeply important to me

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

modern au Théodred dresses practically when he needs to but otherwise very cozy. hygge is real and he Is embodying it

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

sth sth i feel repetitive im sorryyyyyyy but his sibling relationship w/ Éomer + Éowyn is SO important to meeeeeeeeee

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

Same Answer As Everyone Else lol

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

BOROMIR. like i think they were more than best friends (wink) but also they are just. Best Friends. the basis for every lasting healthy relationship

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

he's very lighthearted 2 write. i love writing silly lil romantic fics w/ him. nothin i particularly dislike sjnjsfd

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

i havent actually read any Théo fics other than the ones i wrote sorryyyyyyy sdnfsjdfhk

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

i think i have actually pulled some of my voice for him from Lír in The Last Unicorn and Taran in the later books from the Chronicles of Prydain, so there u go :3

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Forgot He Existed. now i have a big soft spot for him lol

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!! — favourite h/c or whump headcanons?

ok this was sth i totally misremembered based solely off of the supremely excellent skeeziness of Brad Dourif's performance and just the way he says "oh.... he must have died sometime in the night" when he visits Éowyn while she grieves... anyways i think that could easily be read as Gríma having sabotaged Théodred's recovery