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redclercs · 1 year ago

Text

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

v. i gave my blood, sweat and tears for this

— the one where both of you have given everything to be where you are.

warnings: misogyny, sexual harassment, this is how monaco went btw i accept no criticism. barely proofread, sorry. 3.7k words (+ article, podcast excerpts)

masterlist ✢ next

'Have we let y/n y/ln get away with way too much?'

By Alan Gomez

Yes folks, it might be our own fault, we have created a monster in the form y/n y/ln. Mediocre actress at best and with an even worse personality, if the latest events are any indication.

But how could we let this happen? Come on, we're smarter than this!

The thing is, y/n brainwashed us into believing that her doe-eyed, no-brain characters were actually her. Don't beat yourselves up over this too much, even I was a victim of those pretty eyes. But now that the blindfold has fallen, we have come to realize we have let y/n get away with everything!

You might know y/n from Supercut, the romantic comedy that took the world by storm in 2019, where she starred alongside Aidan Kim and it lead to these two becoming one of the general public’s most cherished couples. At least until two months ago, when their breakup was announced via Inside Out. Although there haven’t been any official statements, given the circumstances, we believe it was the actress who broke it off with Kim.

→ Aidan Kim and friends at Cannes Film Festival

→ Y/N supports alleged boyfriend at charity football match

But whether she’s dating a new guy now or not, why do we keep letting her do whatever she wants?

How did she actually brainwash us into thinking she’s anything close to an “it girl”? After Supercut, all she’s done is the absolute bare minimum to keep people talking about her, it’s all RomComs and no effort. I didn’t want to be that person, and you have to believe me on this, but Aidan Kim made her.

Let’s remember Aidan built his career from the ground as a member of Star-5 the early 2010’s boyband that split in 2018. He was the ‘someone’ in the relationship. How can people even compare having the hit song “Round and Round” in your résumé to being in Scream (Netflix) and The Mist (again, Netflix)?

Aidan made us like her and the writers of Parisian Valentine, The Hating Game and Last Night In Love, did her a HUGE favor by consolidating her as the “Queen of RomComs” by what standard? Well, don’t ask me.

The truth is, we accepted y/n into our hearts and homes, thanks to Aidan Kim and an unbelievable amount of luck, and we haven’t held her accountable for anything ever.

Here’s what I’m talking about, if you’re still wondering what the point of this article is, click on every link to be taken to the whole context, you’ll thank me later:

❍Y/N yells at paparazzi to leave her alone as she walks around Beverly Hills with Victoria Presley.

❍ Y/N praises Taylor Swift while tearing down several male artists for writing songs about their personal experiences.

❍ Y/N says in interview with ELLE that not every movie has to be “profound”.

And just for fun:

❍ A collection of Y/N’s disastrous looks.

It’s time we realize y/n y/ln is talentless, has a horrible personality and feigns innocence she certainly doesn’t have. You will NOT continue to take advantage of us, y/n! It’s all over for you, so I’m glad you’re dropping your pathetic career to become a WAG. #Y/NIsOverParty.

↺ FROM ❛WE WATCH❜ PODCAST

Paul Byrnes: Can y/n really do another role now, after all she’s known for are romantic comedies?

Anna Sanchez: well, I really liked her in The Mist, she did great as character in a horror it was—

Paul Byrnes: No one cares about The Mist, Anna, just you.

Anna Sanchez: all I’m saying is she’s a good actress, she can do other things. That was your question, Paul.

Paul Byrnes: Well, in my opinion she can't and that's it.

↺ FROM ❛IT TALK❜ PODCAST

Greg Zane: Let's talk y/n y/ln and her fashion choices now that she's an F1 WAG. What do we think?

Riley Green: She's a what now? How long has it been since she broke up with Aidan Kim?

Martha Vincent: I think she's looking great, I just wish she'd let go of the ugly caps.

Riley Green: No seriously, how long did she stay single?

Greg Zane: I agree Martha, but caps are big in Formula 1, nothing we can do about that. I'm wondering if she'll go for a more glamorous look in Monaco.

Riley Green: guys? hello?

Martha Vincent: Oh Riley, we're not talking about her love life, let it go.

↺ FROM ❛HOLLYWOOD VIBES❜ PODCAST

Pauline Oscar: [cont.] I'm just so curious about the reason of their breakup, why hasn't anyone said anything?! It must be juicy.

Brenda Yim: I feel like it's bad for one of them, most likely y/n. Hello, can anyone offer one of their friends some money? Just like old times!

Pauline Oscar: [laughs] Definitely! We need to know! Can it get any worse than the fact that she's already with another guy? What's his name? Charles Le what? She soooo cheated.

liked by charles_leclerc, vicpresley, mati.bassi, carlossainz55 and others.

ynfreesia UM THE LIKES?

xxynbaby it's "monaco" of course

aidanluvs you don't even have the decency to pretend like you're alone? fuck you

ynredstar i cannot defend you if you pull this shit girl

mati.bassi great view for breakfast with my best girl!💕

ynredstar oh ynredstar nevermind thanks mati ↳ feels4aidan don't be so gullible she's obviously covering up for them

THE COMMENTS FOR THIS POST ARE DISABLED.

May 27th, Montecarlo, Monaco.

THERE are tears in your eyes, and despite your best efforts not to let them run down your cheeks, it's futile. The worst part is that you're the one doing this to yourself. There's zero need to read 'articles' from pseudo journalists on how a man gave you your career and how you're tossing it into the trash for another. Not to mention the cascade of curses you received for a picture on instagram, where everyone thought you were with the other man.

Has your life really come to this? People don't talk about you unless a guy is involved? You loathe it. Your career was never about Aidan, and it's not about Charles now. Who only makes things worse every time he shows up and yet you can't manage to bring it up to him.

It's embarrassing. You don't want to walk up to him during whatever free time he has in a hectic weekend, and ask him if it really doesn't annoy him everything the press has made up about the two of you, or if he's really that unbothered by being paired up with you in the wildest scenarios, and tell him that he can shut them down whenever he feels like it (you wish he would already), and let him know you won't mind whatever he says about not being involved with you.

But no, Mr. Leclerc is busy giving unclear answers at interviews and liking your instagram posts, as if this isn't already a wildfire.

You put down your phone and pick it back up almost immediately, Vic's ringtone fills your hotel room and you wipe away your tears before answering her FaceTime request.

"Were you crying?" it's the first thing she says, moving her sunglasses to the top of her head. There's a lot of noise in the background and you can barely make the words out, but she comes so close to the phone that all you can see is the tip of her nose. "Why were you crying?"

"It's nothing, Vic. What's up?" you sigh, rubbing your eyes only makes things worse but you don't want to worry about that now.

"I just got to Monaco, babe," the phone is at a safe distance from her nostrils again and you can see around her, the airport where you landed a few days ago. "I'm with my parents," she rolls her eyes, lowering her voice. "But if you could get me into the Ferrari Suite I can hang out with you tomorrow!"

They allowed you one guest and the spot has already been taken by Mati, so there really isn't much you can do in terms of getting her into the Ferrari Suite. "Well, let me see what I can do, okay?"

"Okay," she sounds unsure, you know Vic enough to be sure she expected a different answer. "I mean my parents have Lounge privileges but it's more fun to be with you."

Had she said something about coming to Monaco you might have been able to do something, but as far as you were concerned she planned to stay in France all week, enjoying Cannes and mingling.

"I'll do my best Vic, but you know how they are," you exhale heavily, "Plus it's a crazy-ass weekend."

"Isn't it always?" she's yawning now, "We can meet for dinner later and you can tell me what's up alright? Being with my parents is so boring."

You shake your head, "Be nice, they just want to hang out with you. I'll call you after Quali," you check the clock on top of the nightstand, it's 10 am. You have to get ready for FP3, which you don't care about attending or not but Stuart Schaffer asked to see you, so you haven't got much of a choice.

"Sure babes, love you." Vic pulls her sunglasses down again and blows a kiss to the screen.

"Love you too," it's your turn to yawn as you tap the hang up button.

You look at the special edition Ferrari cap you received as a gift yesterday on top of your suitcase and immediately discard the idea of wearing it. No caps. And then the wave of disgust invades you, are you seriously going to do what some random man said on a podcast you came across by accident?

The answer is yes, unfortunately.

─────────

You would rip your leg off if you could, at least it would mean you’d be able to get out of this chair and away from Stuart. But his palm resting on top of your knee feels like a death grip and you’re frankly afraid to move in case it goes further up.

Mati decided to skip FP3 and you’re really hoping she’ll be on time for Quali because you have no one else to talk to, Stuart is just parading you around again and keeping you way too close for comfort because he’s in a great mood since both Ferraris maintained their top spots and things are looking hopeful for Qualifying.

You know it’s your chance to ask if you can bring Victoria around tomorrow, and you know the answer will be yes, but you don’t. You don’t want to ask things from this man, he’s the type to never forget a debt.

You barely catch a glimpse of Carlos and Charles as they walk by on the way to their debrief and Charles waves at you quickly, with a single-dimpled smile. He’s wearing the same cap you refused to put on.

“I’m going to call my friend,” you blurt out once Charles is out of sight, finally moving your leg back to make Stuart’s hand drop. “She had the worst hangover, I have to check up on her.”

“Oh, you girls get wild in Monaco,” Stuart cackles as you sprint away from him, actually resisting the urge to wipe your knee clean.

"Hey y/n!" Mati's voice can barely be heard above the EDM playing wherever she is. "What's up?"

"Where are you?" you whine, looking back inside the Suite. "Help."

"What's wrong?" you picture her frowning as she tries to walk away from the noise helplessly.

You feel guilty for worrying her so you sigh. "Nothing, I just hate being here. Are you coming here for Qualifying?"

"Yep," she pops the 'p' and laughs. "Listen, why don't we have lunch here at the yacht and then go back for Quali?"

"Yes!" once again you look over your shoulder to where the Elix men are laughing at their own jokes and patting each other's backs. “I’m on my way, okay?”

“I’ll be right here, also don’t scare me like that again, please.”

“Sorry,” you chuckle, embarrassed. Maybe you’re a bit dramatic at times, but it’s really all good-natured. “See you in a minute.”

You turn to the door of the Suite, giving a short jump back when you open it at the same time as someone else.

“Oh, god,” you sigh, stepping inside as Charles moves out of the way to let you in. “Thanks.”

“Sorry I scared you,” he smiles, closing the door again once you’re fully in. Charles is once again holding a closed Elix can, tapping his fingers on the side.

You eye it suspiciously, wondering if the thing has really grown on him. After all, one of the first things he told you was how much it disgusted him.

“It’s alright. I thought you were in your debrief?” You grab a can of Elix yourself, looking good in front of the sponsors cannot hurt.

“It was a short one. Keep doing what you’re doing kind of thing,”

“Right. Well, good for both of you,” you look around for Carlos but he’s nowhere to be seen. “Would it jinx it to say ‘good luck’ for later?”

You know many sportspeople take their jinxes and rituals way seriously, and you don’t want to be the one to blame if something goes wrong for the local star.

Charles considers this for a second and then shakes his head no. “Wish me luck,” he smiles.

“Good luck, Charles.” You beam back at him, enjoying—despite yourself—the way his eyes burn into yours.

─────────

You’re back at the Suite with Mati 10 minutes before Qualifying starts. The tension that had seeped out of your body in the form of laughter and loud singing with Mati is already making its way back to your back and jaw. You’re not ready to be around the Elix people again, but you must. However, first, you make Matilde promise she won’t leave your side.

Stuart Schaffer is already patting the empty seat next to him when you make your way through the refreshment tables. You smile at him, a muscle in your cheek falters as you walk past him on your way to the balcony, to catch both Ferraris leaving the garage.

“Oh don’t drink that,” you whisper when you see Mati walk your way, two cans of Gold Elix in her hands. “Don’t.”

Matilde snorts, “You’re literally the ambassador of this thing, and you don’t like it?”

“SHHH!”

“Fine, but those guys are looking at us so we have to at least sip it.”

You groan, opening the one she offers you and then taking a huge gulp. “Yum,” you mock.

Mati laughs again before her face goes sour with the taste. “Oh my God,”

“Warned you,” yet you take another sip. You think that if it grew on Charles it might grow on you, but you don’t really see it happening.

Q1 and Q2 go by smoothly, at least for Ferrari and you’re on the edge of your seat for Q3. This is the race you’ve been more excited for, but it’s not like you’ve attended many others. Still, Monaco just hits different.

The end of Q3 almost gives you a heart attack, although you also blame your almost empty Elix. You didn’t even notice how much you drank, but the thing that really gets your heart jumping out of your chest is Victoria’s ringtone.

Begrudgingly, you turn away from the track. She has texted you a thousand times, without exaggerating, since Quali started and you know it’s because she’s bored out of her mind at the Lounge with her parents. But you’re starting to find this genuinely entertaining and you are bothered by the distraction.

“I told you I’d call you after Quali, Vic,” you singsong, looking up at the screens inside the Suite.

“Well Quali is almost over, no one cares about the last three minutes.”

You do, Max Verstappen is in first place, then Charles and Checo in P3. You’re crossing your fingers for Charles to manage to get above both Red Bulls. And for Carlos to squeeze in there too.

You don’t say anything else, too enthralled by the battle on the screen.

“Y/n?” Vic raises her voice, “Are you listening to me?”

“Yes Vic, what is it?”

“We’re going to be at Ferrari together tomorrow, right?”

You wince, glad she chose a phone call instead of FaceTime this time around. You haven’t asked and you don’t intend to. Vic still has VIP Lounge access, she’ll be fine.

“They said no, Vic.” You lie, your eyes scanning the screen, it’s the last lap before they get the checkered flag out. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why? Did you tell them I can give them publicity? I have one million followers!”

“Monaco is different from Miami,” you explain gently, “But you’ll still be at the VIP, you have a great view.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she’s beyond annoyed now, as it happens every time things don’t go her way. You can’t blame her, but you also think it will be good for her to spend some time with her parents, whom she refuses to visit although they live in Malibu and pay her mortgage. “We’re still up for dinner though, right?”

“Yep! I’ll meet you at your hotel.”

“Okay see you then, babes.”

By the time your eyes return to the screen, Charles is in P1, Carlos in P3 and the Ferrari Suite is exploding in cheers.

YOU’RE up painfully early the next day. Vic and you went back to your respective hotel way past three am and you’re exhausted, but at least you had enough self-control to avoid today’s hangover.

Nevertheless, the morning goes by in a blur between breakfast with Elix people, calls with Mildred and Walter, your manager, and two casting agents that tell you that no, you don’t need to go for an in-person casting, you’re not getting the role.

By the time you get to the Suite you have a headache and the knot on your throat is progressively getting harder to swallow. You only make things worse by rage-reading tweets with your #IsOver hashtag.

People claim, with more force every day, that Aidan gave you everything and you are starting to regret ever meeting him.

You have worked your ass off for years, taking on small roles, commercials, stock-photo deals. Learning scripts and going to castings and taking classes, you have been criticized and rejected for more things than just “not fitting the role”.

You have given everything you are and everything you have, and people assure what you got in return you owe it all to some man.

“Hola y/n!” Carlos is the first one to get back to the Suite and you wish he would rub off some of his good mood on you. “How are you today?”

“Hi Carlos, I’m alright and you?”

“You definitely look it,” he says, semi-sarcastically. “Something on your mind?”

The knot is back in your throat so you shake your head no. “And yours?”

“Nada de nada.” he smiles. You’re still growing on each other, but this is the most comfortable you’ve been while sharing the same space.

Charles arrives while Carlos, Mati (who is hungover from her party at the yachts) and you are comparing workout playlists. Wearing what now seems to be like his comfort cap, and a pair of ugly ripped jeans, he smiles brightly at the three of you.

You’re happy to see both Ferrari boys so smiley after the past couple races. Miami especially. And you hope they’ll do well; but you’re particularly scared for Charles, and whatever it is that made him unlucky in his hometown, you don’t want this day to end on a sour note.

You spend about an hour talking to them about anything, your movies, their races, Mati's tour with Romeo and Juliet. Music, hobbies and quirks, Charles and Carlos have an opinion on everything and they are actually quite fun to be around. Then, a Ferrari Team member comes to get them for the Drivers Parade so you wave them goodbye, wishing them a smooth race.

"You're not going to wish me luck, y/n?" Charles asks, the smirk on his face is one you identify as mischievous, and it makes a small wave of anxiety run down your back.

Mati stops the bottle of water halfway through her mouth to ogle at the two of you, and the palpable tension that has installed itself in the space.

"Good luck, Charles," the smile you return falters in one corner, but Charles doesn't seem to mind as he adjusts his cap and says thank you before leaving behind Carlos.

Mati has forgotten about her need to hydrate and is staring at you with both eyebrows raised. "I thought you were not doing that?" she gestures with her head towards the door through which both drivers vanished.

"I'm not doing anything," you reply, defensively. "He's being—"

"y/n, you could cut the tension there for a minute," Mati finally takes a swig of water and you wait for her to continue talking. "Like I said, I don't recommend it but... you're free to do whatever you want." she isn't unkind while wording that last part, but it still stings you with annoyance.

"Thanks, Mati." you bite the inside of your cheek, leaning back into the sofa.

─────────

The Ferrari Suite explodes in cheers once the checkered flag is out. After a frankly insane race with rain, crashes and too-long pit stops, both Ferraris have crossed the finish line, and most importantly Charles has finally managed to get rid of his Monaco curse. His enlarged picture appears on every screen with P1 right in the middle. Carlos is P4, but the points are extremely important in the long run, so people celebrate nevertheless.

Before you know it, Mati and you are being dragged down to the track for the podium celebrations. You're buzzing with excitement, holding Matilde's hand as you run to one side, where the mechanics can't crush you as they jump up and down.

Even above the general screams of happiness, you can hear talks of 'Charles deserves this so much', 'It was about time' and 'His hard work is finally paying off at home'.

At least someone's blood, sweat and tears are valued.

YOU are probably not living down the Charles dating allegations this weekend. Which is not your fault, honestly, had they enlarged the picture, it would have shown Mati just as excited for Ferrari as you were. She's Italian, and she bleeds for Ferrari.

But right now, surprisingly, you're not overwhelmed with whatever it is they're saying on Twitter. Although it took Mati snatching your phone away and tossing it in her own purse before sitting you down to retouch your makeup for the celebration party.

Victoria is joining you too, because a 'the more the merrier' applies to any sort of party happening in a Monaco club, especially if it is for the unofficial prince.

It is the first time in three months you let go of your worries, even if it is for the shortest amount of time as you dance with Victoria and Mati and drink anything you please and whoop every time the DJ mentions Charles and Carlos.

You're happy to be with your friends, away from Elix and celebrating two people who can become something more than coworkers to you. Although through the night you see them on a few occasions, Carlos waves at you as he passes by a few times only stopping in the third time to let you congratulate him with a quick hug that's more of a shoulder squeeze than anything.

Charles is obviously harder to approach, and to be fair, it's not like you're even trying. He's surrounded by his hometown friends and by anyone who wants to have his attention for a minute, for a picture or a dance or to buy him a drink.

It's past three am when Victoria is beyond buzzed and you're starting to feel exhausted so you decide it's time to leave. Mati has found someone to take home so she's been gone for around forty minutes, minding her business.

"Come on, let's go," you are grabbing Victoria by the wrist as her ankle twists. "We've both had enough," you laugh, Victoria joins your laughter as you snake through the crowd of people pumping fists in the air, some of them point and wave at you and you smile back at them politely.

You hear your name being passed around a few times, but you focus on finding the exit while keeping Victoria by your side, who has started to whine about not wanting to leave.

Once you break into the outside, you take a breath of fresh air, the coolness makes your skin rise in goosebumps and you shiver, letting go of Victoria to lift the hair on the back of your neck.

"It's too early!" Victoria complains once again, her eyes are glassy and she's just as sweaty.

"It's not, plus you're drunk, we should leave," your ears still feel drowned in the sound of music. “My feet are killing me.”

The exit opens again, and a couple stumbles out laughing and they tell Vic and you goodbye in drunken French. Before the door shuts again, Charles is out on the street too.

"I heard you were leaving," he says in what you're sure it's a too loud voice. But your ears have barely stopped ringing, so you can't blame him. "Are you two okay?" he eyes Victoria, who is starting to lean down on her knees to soothe her dizziness.

"Oh we're alright, we've just partied enough," you smile at him. Charles is rosy, bright-eyed and sweaty. Is it corny to describe someone as painfully handsome?

"I didn't get to congratulate you," you add, trying to keep your attention on Charles while being aware that Victoria might start retching at any given moment. "You did amazing."

Victoria straightens immediately, her glassy stare focusing on Charles. "You're such a good driver, Charles, for real."

"Thank you," Charles nods awkwardly a few times as Victoria pokes him with her left index finger. "And thank you y/n."

"Come on, Vic," you chuckle, keeping her hand away from Charles. "Seriously though, I'm happy for you."

Charles smiles again, running a hand through his hair. "Thank you, really. I'm sorry I didn't see you earlier," he points behind him, to the club.

"It's your party, you can't be everywhere,"

Vic is yawning loudly, and you roll your eyes, amused. "We better get going."

"y/n, when are you flying to Spain?" Charles blurts out, the moment you turn to lead Vic down the street.

"I'm not sure, Wednesday probably?"

"You know, I can still show you a place or two in Monaco. If you want." He sinks his left hand in the front pocket of his dark jeans, and you wonder where the mischievous aura from what seems like ages ago went.

You pause, letting Vic put her whole weight on your shoulder as she finally gives up to the exhaustion. "Um well..."

The same tension that appeared at the Ferrari Suite is back, and the more you hesitate, the thicker it becomes.

Victoria pulls you down with her as she throws her head back, yawning again. Charles is just in time to hold you back up, his other arm pulling Vic back to a standing position.

"Only if you want," he says, he is far too close now and you can smell the mix of alcohol and cologne on him.

And maybe it's the alcohol in your own system, and you'll regret this once you sober up and realize that you told Matilde several times this is exactly what you were not going to do, but you say yes.

─── team principal radio: ❝thank you for reading! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I want to say thank you to everyone who interacts with this series, it means a lot to me to know that you're enjoying it!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @majx00

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artificialbreezy · 9 months ago

Note

Omg dad Noah is the cutest but could you imagine him being so much more protective of his pregnant partner

i feel like Noah is just protective of the ones he loves period but when he sees the little plus sign on that stick it’s like something changes in him. he takes you EVERYWHERE. your midwife will be on the tour with you because god forbid anything happen to you. you guys find out when he’s on tour, your standing in a random hotel bathroom in New York and your pacing bc you’re so worried it’s gonna fuck up his career but Noah is anxiously waiting bc he wants his to be positive so bad. he hasn’t told you but he’s been thinking about this for months now. he hears the timer go off and looks at you and says “you wanna check it or do you want me too?” and you just kinda shrug and he checks it and his eyes immediately water and your stomach drops straight to your ass because you think he’s gonna leave and he looks at you with the happiest eyes and biggest smile, “baby, we’re gonna be parents!” and you’re like “wait. you’re not mad?” and he’s like “oh my god no. i’m so excited. we’re gonna have a little us running around before we know it.” and he’s immediately making plans for you to move in so he can watch you because he refuses to leave you alone. he’s gotta keep an eye on you. he makes sure you take your prenatal every morning, if you want any sort of take out he’s on his way to get it, when you show any sign of pain or discomfort he’s immediately asking “what’s wrong? do we need to go to the hospital? how can i help? baby why don’t you sit down?” and you’re like “noah i’m fine it’s okay, im growing a whole ass human inside my stomach. my guts have moved to make room for your baby-“ he’d interrupt you so fast, “our baby.” and you’d just smile and sit down like he said so he’d calm down. now he can’t keep his eyes on you 100% of the time. like when he’s on stage. but he’s also worried about the loudness of the venue being too much for your little ole body to handle now that your 7 months pregnant, so he makes you sit in the back with Davis. he’ll run back to the room during song breaks to check on you. he’s totally missed his cue a couple times because he got caught up feeling his baby kick. when he got back to the stage, he’d announce “sorry guys my girlfriend’s here and our baby was kicking like crazy and she never lets me feel her kick so i HAD too”. If noah has an interview he’s texting you the whole time and he’s making Jolly, Folio, and Nick keep their EYE on you. and he knows you wouldn’t tell him if something was up because he’s busy so he’s message the band group chat asking for the opinions on how you are and it’s always. she just has lunch or she’s sitting on the couch. it brings him ease knowing his family is keeping you safe when he can’t. bro and when you go into labor? he is your voice, your advocate. you guys talked so much about your birth plan (he wrote it all down so it would go according to plan) and when the hospital (if the hospital) is being picky he shuts it down FAST. “we are doing this the way she wants. no ands, ifs, or buts about it. the only reason we’re stepping outside of this plan is if it’s life or death”. he definitely would talk you through the pushing, he’d hold your hand, kiss your forehead. it broke his heart seeing you crying because of the pain but he knew you’d be okay. when he heard the cries of his little baby, the man wouldn’t be able to hold back his tears. he’d look at you, tears streaming down his face, “you did it mama.”

i got so carried away with this omfg

#noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fic #bad omens smut #noah sebastian headcanons #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian #noah sebastian blurb #bad omens headcanons #bad omens cult

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herejusttosufferalong · 3 months ago

Note

Ok so this might be a long rant, I just came across this account, after a lovely woman i follow on TT. She said in her live that a blog she likes one tumblr account, so I had a wee nosy. Well after watching Tifs live (our captain) the other night, my gut feeling about this whole situation with L, N and A:

I only started to ship L&N late April this year. I just was excited to see polin for their season after reading the book. Then I seen N and L interviews and saw their chemistry & connection I was hooked. I don’t ship people irl but I did always like Tom and Zendaya, I thought they would be cute together but nothing hardcore. Then L& N came into my life and now I can’t function properly without thinking about these two. I like the whole world has seen this two people that have captured our hearts, with their crazy chemistry. Which made a lot fans go crazy thinking they were a real couple and still want them to be.

As I said I newly lukola fan but after watching Tifs live and reading the info she had, also looking at other content and speaking to other fans. I believe my gut feeling is right, ( just my opinion) don’t come from me lol. 1: I believe L fell for N that first day they met at the dance rehearsal. I mean for someone who doesn’t have good memory, he remember everything that day. Like you said I believe he pushed those feelings down as he was in newly relationship. Also N was in a relationship, it wasn’t their time. They were great friends, laughed, joked and even flirted irl or SM but never crossed that boundary.

2: I believe the chemistry we were seeing in season 1 and 2 was them giving each other subtle hits, that they will have to finally give into repressed feelings once they become leads. L was still in a longtime relationship with his gf but N wasn’t in hers anymore, so she was having single girl era. Then bang they are told they are the leads the next season. Both gear up for it by L getting fit, healthy and trim down. N also got fit, healthy and went to the gym. They both threw everything into making this the best season(which I believe they did). Then started to film season3 when they can’t hide their feelings anymore. The gf caught on to this and that when things started to turn sour for L and gf, she got jealous and insecure about his feelings. She started getting hate from fans. Once she started doing shady things like copy N style and comment (WFT on camera) when the episode 2 season 2, when Colin’s comes back from his trip and sees Pen for the first time. Then J and L unliked N posts and didn’t interact with her as much. Also around that time N came out to defend J and stop the hate. (If I couldn’t love this woman anymore than I do. She is a incredible, kind and loyal friend to have in your life). Around this time L was on down low liking posts N friends posted about her, knowing that J wasn’t following them on SM to see. 3: As I said when season3 began all those feelings they both had came out and they couldn’t hide it anymore. You can see it by the reactions of the cast and crew saw, they slowly were letting us know that it was real what we saw and felt. I mean the fact that he wasn’t able to see her in certain dresses until the last minute to get his real reaction or that the director took all the dancers off the set, to only have N&S dance in front of L to get that pure jealousy and anger from him. (BTW that nearly broke that man) haha which I love, I know am evil 😏. Or the fact that N had a fake hen party with cast and crew. Do not get me started on the ‘sound proof’ carriage or the broken furniture. Around those scenes were being filmed the shit was hitting the fan with L&J, they believed to be broken up around the time of the mirror scene. We all know how relaxed they were with each other in those days, as N said “we were so relaxed, we spent the day under the covers naked not wanting to get up”. I mean come you two 🙈 So L was coming home after doing those intimate scenes and couldn’t detached from it. So it is believed around this time J cheated on L with a co star, of course this is all rumoured but Ls mum, aunt and grandma liked a lot of lukolas posts. That scene when he finds out about pen being LW, he was really crying and even catch’s on his words, it also makes N say his name because she can’t see him hurting. So that’s why she help him to heal after the break up, she wanted him not in pain anymore. That’s when everything changed.

4: N and L friendship grows stronger and stronger around part two they both were single and they give into their feelings. So when you watch the ally scene when he finds her out on the night before their wedding and they argue he push’s her up against the door. L uses his left hand to lift up her skirt, Colin is right handed but L is left handed. Also if you listen to that scene without the music, you can hear him saying N name. The last scene they filmed together was their last intimate scene and she slips the tongue in while he sucks on it. He also came to her last day of filming to support her AKA the pic of him seating on the floor while she hugging him 🫠So I believe that they both hooked up around this time and even went on secret dates. He was all in and was ready to go into the relationship with her. This is when it hits her, he needs to be single, she was going to be busy, he starting his new play… they had to put the breaks on it for awhile. That’s why she always says “what is meant for you, won’t pass you by”, something my mum says to me every day. N knows she be called to other women, that she is older, that her image would be damaged if they came out as a couple around that time. Because he loves her so much he couldn’t do that to her, so he agrees even though it is killing him. That’s when A appears. 5: He goes on to have his HBS with the lads and the rat 🐀 (Rory) I said what I said. He has fun and then meets A, she fun and exciting, just someone to have fun with, who also fits in his friends group. They date have fun, go on double dates, parties and events. They never put a label on it but she his gf in not so many words. Then they begin their six month press tour and all that pent up feelings come back out again. They were unhinged, flirty and their chemistry was through the roof. They couldn’t stop it if they tried. They have understanding like last year they couldn’t go public if they wanted to because of the image wouldn’t be right. That’s when A jealous streak came out, by slowly letting the fans know she was about and don’t get any ideas. She post videos of her of dancing in hotels were L was staying. That’s when she started to troll the fans and N too. I think the final nail that hit the coffin was the Ireland trip. We got the famous fixing the hair in middle of an interview(let’s be real L went to another world, he lean in and closed his eyes never wanting to open them up again). We also got him meeting her mum and went out with her family. A could see he was pulling back from her that’s why she invited herself to the NY premier were we got the awkward hug from A&N. So that’s why she called the paps and messed up the situation with L&N. I like a lot of people felt that pap walk was a slap to all our faces. I believe like you said she went rogue. All she had to do was wait a week and it wouldn’t have been as bad. The fandom would have been mad but would got over it. However she stole that limelight and you could see he annoyed by the pics. So HBS 2 happens, N starts working on her her new film. L has events, parties and holidays with A and the friend group. However he found ways to mention N in every interview or posts and she tells him in some ways that he is always with her by the pics she posts too. Like he said on JF they are on a break. Now they waiting for things to calm down and distance himself from A. But she doesn’t like and has now joined together with rat boy and his gf. They are trolling fans, N, leaking pics and videos of L when he just wants to be private. I also believe he has totally checked out with this relationship. You can see it in her eyes and body language, it doesn’t lie, he’s not happy. I also think his losing work opportunities with this bad pr at the minute. Unlike N who is booked and busy.

So to conclude this rant sorry btw I just had to get this all out of my head 🙈 it was doing my head in. I believe once season 4 begins and L&N have to be a married couple. They go back to their funny, flirty and unhinged. I then believe A bags will be packed because he will do all he can to protect N and her image. He also try to get new jobs as well. Were A might be on the next season of love island. I really hope not because I seen enough of that drama queen and I like to enjoy the show. I think next year we might get the confirmation of them both being an official couple. That’s when I be cracking up the Prosecco and champagne 🍾 😊🚢

No matter how many times I read things like this I always act surprised at every turn lmao

Love this anon, thx for sharing

#this is all opinion #merely speculating #i will die in my delulu #feeding my delulu daily

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itendtothinkalot · 5 months ago

Text

another one of those fake dating tropes lol

Summary: a series dedicated to fake dating and for what? idk

Genre: romcom, angst, fluffy

Characters: beomgyu x f!reader soobin x f!reader

Words: too many (15818)

Completed (oneshot)

There were many instances in your life when you felt completely and utterly alone in the world but it was never in the presence of your five overly attached best friends. You didn’t know why the six of you clicked. It could’ve been Kai’s innate sense of wit or Beomgyu’s impeccable timing for comedy. The six of you just did.

Sure, your life had been filled with dullness more so than the average person but with friends like these idiots by your side, you were certain you were considered one of the luckiest people on planet Earth.

You loved being independent, your time away from all the drama and constant yelling, you could go on days at a time without seeing a single person. But somewhere deep in your heart, you also yearned for love. Romantic love, of course. None of that platonic ‘friendship is magic’ bullshit that Taehyun would feed you when you’d whine about being single and how you’d probably die alone with 3 cats.

You wanted romantic love. A love that was undying. A love that could only be filled with physical and emotional intimacy. A love that you unfortunately have only ever felt for one of your best friends.

Ahh, unrequited love, a curse that had been bestowed upon you by one of your worst enemies, Cupid.

“I swear to God, you’re gonna get kicked out by Mr Kim.” Kai hushed, pressing his face against Beomgyu. His eyes continuously darted between the backroom where your manager had situated himself then back at Beomgyu, who had his dirty Nike shoes propped up on the barstool next to him.

“First of all, watch the spit, you frog. Also,” Beomgyu scoffed, his lips in between the straw he was viciously nibbling on, wiping the spit that landed on his face from Kai’s aggressive hushing. “We’re paying customers, are we not?”

“Gyu, the milkshake was free.” You said, an eyebrow raised. “I should know. I made it for you and pretended to key it in so our manager wouldn’t know.”

“Well, you should’ve charged me for it.” Beomgyu challenged as he played with the rigid rim of his paper cup; his teeth marks visible.

“You’re a broke law student who can’t even afford cup noodles. I had to pay for your last meal and I’m working in a cafe.” Kai added, his hands still busy wiping the counters. He was doing this so the manager wouldn’t call him out for doing nothing (again).

“Shame on the two of you. Inviting me down here so you could humiliate me in front of Soobin and peepaw.” Beomgyu shook his head gesturing to Yeonjun who had been catching up on his Zs during the whole argument. Lifting his head, Yeonjun flicked his fingers at the back of Beomgyu’s neck before enveloping his head back in his arms.

“Ow!” Beomgyu said through his gritted teeth, rubbing his neck.

A laugh escaped your lips. You patted Yeonjun’s head, “Being unemployed sure takes a toll on the elderly.” You played along earning a smile from Beomgyu.

Yeonjun groaned before lifting his head to look you dead in the eye, “You’re getting too complacent for someone who works in a dead-end cafe.”

“At least I can afford more than just a couple bag of chips. Can you say the same?” You stuck your tongue out. Yeonjun rolled his eyes before sipping on his disgusting left-out-too-long milkshake then resting his head back onto the counter.

“I’m in between interviews.” He mumbled, his face still buried in his arms as he tried to defend what was left of his crumbling dignity.

“Though bashing Yeonjun is my favourite hobby, he’s not wrong. This place is kinda dead. Isn’t it supposed to be lunch hour?” Soobin brought up, looking around the empty cafe before fixing his eyes on you.

“Well, sometimes during rush hour, I’d forget to put the open sign up so I wouldn’t have to clean more tables. Mr. Kim hasn’t noticed it though. He just thinks his marketing strategy of getting the two of us to give out flyers isn’t working.” Kai mumbled putting air quotes around “forget”.

“Low pay fits you, Kai.” Taehyun finally chimed in. “You really shouldn’t be working in this industry. Or in any industry for that matter.”

“Okay, Mr Trust Fund.” Kai sang. “I’m rich! I don’t need a job! I can spend the rest of my life working for my dad!”

“Cut it out, Kai.” Beomgyu defended Taehyun, placing his arms around the younger male.

“You’re only defending him because he’s paying your half of the rent!” Huening retaliated.

“That’s not true! I paid the rent last month!”

“Honestly, you haven’t paid me for 3 months.” Taehyun said, his eyes boring into Beomgyu’s, eliciting a guilty giggle from the Beomgyu.

“Hasn’t it occurred to you that as a rich person, you should and must help the needy?” Beomgyu countered.

“The needy?” Kai sneered, eyes peering through the shaggy long-haired boy.

“Yeah. Me.” Beomgyu deadpanned.

“God, Beomgyu, I will continue paying your half of the rent if you shut up.” Taehyun sighed.

“Truly…a man of good deeds. President Kang! I respect you.” Beomgyu saluted as he wrapped his arms around Taehyun.

“President Kang, can you pay my rent?” Soobin grinned, his hands finding their way to Taehyun’s shoulder.

“You have a job. Stop leeching off of me.” Taehyun spoke, shrugging Soobin’s arms off.

“I don’t think you can count ass kissing as an actual job.” Yeonjun commented, his head finally up, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I don’t kiss my boss’s ass.” Soobin grumbled.

“Well, you slept with her.” Kai reminded, knocking on Soobin’s forehead, a little mischievous grin plastered across his face.

Your head perked up at the sudden confession.

“It was a drunk mistake. How’d you even kn- God, I’m never telling you anything again, Beomgyu.”

“For the record, Kai overheard you telling me through Discord. You should really get a new mic.” Beomgyu said, his mouth filled with stale fries.

Now that piqued your interest.

“So, Scoobs, you slept with…your boss?” You finally spoke up, your eyebrows furrowed.

Panic-stricken, Soobin shook his head profusely, “No…no. Not technically.”

“We’re talking technicalities now?” Yeonjun laughed, slapping Soobin’s back.

“So you didn’t?” You queried. It was evident that he was getting more flustered as time passed without an explanation. His red face painfully contrasted with his blonde hair.

“Oh, you don’t know? Well, well, well, looks like you do keep secrets from your favourite friend after all!” Beomgyu retorted.

“I like you all the same. Maybe not Beomgyu right now though.” Soobin cleared his throat before looking at you. His eyes told you he was guilty. Though of course, you weren’t sure. Maybe that’s what you wanted him to feel.

You didn’t know why it bugged you. Or maybe…you did. But you knew for a fact you didn’t like him sleeping with just about anyone.

“I like you all the same!” Beomgyu mimicked annoyingly, “You two and your silly little games, the rooftop meetups, the Friday lunch hour ice creams, the movie nights…we know who you prefer, Soobin or should I say Scooby…”

Soobin looked at Beomgyu, rolled his eyes and dunked his head then back at you.

“It was just a one-time thing. We were both drunk and I woke up in her apartment the other day at the Christmas party. It was stupid and I would never do it again.” He explained, specifically to you. You weren’t sure why he was trying so hard to convince you to think otherwise.

“Christmas?” You muttered.

Christmas was just 2 weeks ago. Which would explain why Soobin had backed out on the past 2 Friday lunch hour ice cream sessions. You thought.

As much as everything was great when you hung out with your friends, it was also just as dreadful hanging out with someone you had the fattest crush on. Shaking your head, you decided just to ignore this minor yet painful information. It was a one-time thing. He said so and you chose to believe it.

Work was finally over. Despite finding out the person you’ve been in love with for the past 2 years had sex with his boss, it was another average day. It wasn’t like you’d never heard of Soobin’s romantic endeavours before. You were used to it but you wouldn’t say you enjoy the awful sting in your heart.

You sighed as your body hit the bed. Your legs were wrapped around in the blanket that Taehyun had got you for your 21st birthday. He had insisted on getting you a whole bed set because you’d been sleeping on the same club penguin bed sheets since you were 11. You initially declined, claiming that you’d be happy with a gift card to the local supermarket since you were running low on cup ramen but then Soobin said something about how much he loved soft neutral-coloured linens and there you were begging Taehyun for the new set he initially offered. You were pathetic. So pathetic you got Taehyun rolling on the floor laughing when you were on your knees for the linen set you had so kindly declined.

Bzzz…

Your thoughts were interrupted.

Soobin: You up? You: Was about to sleep. Soobin: Rooftop in 5? You: Choc milk??? Soobin: In my pockt. Soobin: Pocket*

How Soobin and you met...was a little unconventional. You happened to move right above Soobin’s apartment when he had trudged to your house to complain about the noise you had made the previous night and accused you of having the worst-sounding sex in history of mankind.

“It’s like if a cat and a dog were-”

You remembered shaking your head, “I’m gonna to have you stop right there. Mr…?”

“Soobin.”

“Ah, Soobin. You see, I would remember having sex last night in this apartment and making questionable mating noises except I moved in…today?” This was followed by a string of apologies mostly from Soobin who had been on his knees.

From that day on, he had visited your house every single day bearing snacks, hoping the both of you didn’t start on the wrong foot. It eventually blossomed and the both of you became inseparable best friends with him introducing you to the rest of them.

“You okay?” You asked, your eyelids closing as you tried your hardest to suppress your yawns. You were sleepy, sure, but you didn’t have the heart to tell Soobin you were knackered. Besides, it was Soobin, you had slaved away till 5am cooking his favourite meals to cheer him up when his first-ever girlfriend had broken up with him…you’re not proud of it but you did love the look on his face when he nuzzled into the crook of your neck declaring how much he loved your chicken soup.

You noticed Soobin fidgeting like he was nervous. His eyes danced across the rooftop, at you then at the lawn chairs then at the fairy lights decorating the washed-up rooftop then back at you. You could see him trying so evidently to avoid your gaze.

“Scooby, are you okay?” You asked again after noticing the look of distress plastered on his handsome face.

“I got a promotion.” The words left his mouth like a bullet train. No pause. No emotion. No nothing.

“That’s amazing!” Your fatigue washed away as soon as you heard the good news. You jumped into his arms and hugged him as tightly as you could. “Congratulations!” Though, you were a little confused with the sudden promotion. Was it because he slept with his boss? You quietly thought to yourself.

“No, I got it before I even slept with her and besides she’s in a different department, she doesn’t have a say.” He sped through the explanation like he knew what you were thinking.

“Scoobs, that’s wonderful. I’m happy for you!” You smiled, lifting your arms to hug him, inching closer.

“It’s in New York.”

You could hear a pin drop. The silence engulfed the two of you. You were hoping Beomgyu would come out in an ugly baggy tuxedo shouting “YOU JUST GOT PRANK’D SON!” like he had one time during your birthday when they switched out your cake for cardboard but minutes passed and no one but the crickets were talking. It was just the right time for you to fall back onto the lawn chair, maybe miss the lawn chair and hit your head so it’d crack open so you couldn’t see the love of your life walk out on you.

“For how long?”

“2 years.” Soobin mumbled.

Your arms untangle from Soobin’s, you looked at him confused before a smile returned to your face.You couldn’t let him know you were upset.

“Are you gonna accept the offer?” You asked, a smile still covering your progressive state of panic, trying your best to stay impartial towards your best friend.

“I don’t know. The salary’s amazing, a huge jump from my current pay. The company provides – accommodation, transportation, medical benefits and a whole ton of shit that I never had.”

“That’s amazing,” You said before pausing, the pause took longer than you’d initially expected, “But you don’t seem too happy.”

“It’s just…” Soobin sighed, his legs giving up. He fell to his knees and cradled himself next to the wall. You found yourself moving from the lawn chair as you made your way towards the taller male. You placed a hand on his knee as you sat beside him and laid your head on his shoulder. “So so so fucking far.” His voice broke. His eyes forming tears but he turned away before you could see it fall. “From everyone. From you.”

You ignored the heart palpitations you were having. If you ignored it, maybe it’d go away.

“Soobin…” You used his real name, hoping he’d know that you were serious. You turned his face toward you, looking at him in adoration. “I don’t want- we don’t want to be the reason you didn’t take this great fucking opportunity and it’s only 2 years. Soobin, you’ve worked so har-”

Soobin cuts you off, “It’s not the same. I want to be with you guys. We promised that we’d be here when Yeonjun finally finds his passion. God, I’m going to miss Beomgyu’s graduation. I can’t leave! We haven’t even gotten to see the sunrise together in Bukchon! We haven’t gone on the camping trip we’ve been planning since high school! What’s Kai going to do when he finds out that I’m leaving? He’s like a son to me. Dear God, what if Taehyun hunts me down and-” He rambled on and on.

“Soobin,” You cut him off. “stop thinking about us and start thinking about what YOU want to do. You’ve wanted to be a journalist for so long.” You took a deep breath. “Soobs, you graduated at the top of your class. You pulled an all-nighter every single day for three weeks before your final exam. You put up with shitty intern supervisors for this very opportunity! You’re finally achieving your dream!”

“You don’t get it.” Soobin sighed, a hint of frustration in his voice.

“What don’t I get?” You mirrored his annoyance.

Soobin had worked so hard, you were almost furious that he was fighting NOT to go. He would be stupid to reject an offer that could potentially elevate his career and here he was upset he couldn’t go camping with the 5 of you in a shitty forest in your old boring neighbourhood.

“It’s not my dream.” He said, his eyebrows furrowing. His hands moved to the sides of your arms, gripping onto them. You looked up, slightly puzzled at his firmness.

“Soobin, I saw your vision board. It was in big red letters, right next to ‘Meet Bebe Rexha’.” You mumbled.

The vision board was something Soobin had done to stay consistent with the goals he had set up for himself when he was 11. The board was made from his first laptop box, it was cut up and pasted on his wall. Torn up pieces of newspaper, magazines and notes with his goals pasted on the edges of the board with the words ‘SOOBIN’S DREAMS’ written across the middle. It started when he was in middle school, he’d paste pictures of grades he manifested, vacation spots he wanted to visit. He’d done everything on the vision board. You couldn’t be the reason for him to stop finishing what he started.

“The vision board was made before I met you.” He replied.

“What does that have to do with anything?” You said, yawning mid way. You lifted your head up to look over to him. His gaze dead set on you. The butterflies in your stomach were much more active that night, violently fighting their way out of your stomach. His hands had found its way to your thigh, as it grazed up and down, up and down, comforting you in this dreadful situation. His soft, slender fingers traced comforting patterns on your thigh, a gesture of reassurance amid uncertainty, your silent connection speaking volumes.

Soobin cleared his throat, “I…um…I guess what I’m trying to say is that this dream…” He paused and gestured between the two of you with his hands. “that you think I’m…uh, achieving? It’s not complete. Not complete at all.” His voice falters like he was about to say something stupid.

“What’s missing?” You gulped, nervous. The movement of his hands on your thighs stop as he moves them to your face.

His eyes shifted to yours. “You.”

“Oh.” You replied.

“I like you.” Soobin confessed. “And I know you like me too.”

“What? I neve-”

“Yeonjun can be a blabbermouth when he’s drunk.”

“That fiend.” You muttered under your breath causing Soobin to chuckle.

“I like you. I like you so much.” He paused, more eager. “God, I think about you all the time, when I sleep, when I eat. You’re in my head all the time. I literally wake up and go, ‘I wonder what she’s doing today?’. The vision board isn’t my future. You are.”

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t really know what to say.

“Just say the word and I won’t go.”

—------------------

2 years later

“I look stupid.” You said, looking at yourself in the mirror. A shimmery blue beaded dress tugged on your waist as you found yourself being tossed and turned by Yeonjun as if you were some kind of ragdoll.

“You look wonderful, now hold still. I’m a second away from being annoyed at you.” Yeonjun said, pinching the side of your waist to keep you from fidgeting.

“Ouch!” You felt a pin poke your sides, you jumped at the feeling before Yeonjun smacked your arms.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Yeonjun ridiculed, before spinning you around to take a good look at you. “You look great.”

“Do I really?” You asked, clear confusion on your face, you eyed yourself in the mirror. You looked like a helpless little girl stuck in a bunch of blue glittery fabric.

“Could you relax? You’re wearing a Yeonjun original. Of course, you look good.” Yeonjun grinned, pride evident on his face. You couldn’t help but beam at your friend.

Yeonjun found his place designing dresses for a boutique for his aunt about a year ago and you were incredibly happy for him especially after the difficulties he had faced finding the right job for him.

“Gyu, what do you think?” You turned to face Beomgyu, who had little to no interest and twirled for him.

“Gyu…CHOI BEOMGYU!” Yeonjun yelled.

“WHAT?!” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, placing the magazine he was reading onto his lap, looking up at you and Yeonjun, “I was in the middle of reading an article! Hilary Duff’s secrets to conquering acne and online haters—front cover exclusive.”

You laughed and spun for him, “Gyu, how do I look?”

“The dress is good.” He said nonchalantly before turning back to his magazine.

“That’s all?” Yeonjun pestered.

“What am I supposed to fucking say?” Beomgyu groaned.

“Something descriptive? Or helpful!” Yeonjun urged.

“I know how to be helpful. It’s officially been 2 years since Soo-…” Beomgyu finally chimed in.

“Don’t bring him up.” Yeonjun cuts Beomgyu off. “We were having a nice time.”

“We’re seeing him next week so I don’t know why you’re being all… skittish about the situation.” Beomgyu retaliated.

Yeonjun’s hand found his way to yours, lending a hand of comfort after he had noticed your clear discomfort when Soobin was mentioned.

“I’m fine. It’ll be nice seeing him. Have you guys…um… spoken to him recently?” You asked, hoping someone would have at least some news about him.

“Not since the second month he left. ‘I’ll e-mail you guys everyday’ turned out to be a month and a half before he started posting cute pictures of himself on instagram in ugly turtlenecks. Who does he think he is? Steve Jobs? And for the love of God, who actually posts their girlfriend that much on a daily basis? I do not care for your ugly girlfriend.” Beomgyu spat bitterly.

“Gyu.” You warned.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot we weren’t haters anymore so I’ll rephrase. I do care…” he looked at the two of you and shook his head. “for his bug-eyed, self-absorbed, irritating, conniving, little minx of a girlfriend. See? I can be descriptive.”

You rolled your eyes, shoving his arm before chuckling. Despite his hatred for everything, you adored Beomgyu. He had a way of saying shit that just made you forget why you were upset in the first place.

“Well, he sent me a heart eye emoji on a shirtless picture I posted on stories the other day. Though I think that might’ve been a mistake.” Yeonjun cleared his throat.

“Posting that picture was a mistake. A horrid shirtless picture at 8am? A new low even for you.” Beomgyu said before catching a flying pillow that was hurtling towards him.

“I will end you.” Yeonjun threatened.

“Sure, peepaw. Anyway,” Beomgyu sighed, focusing his attention back on you. “Have you guys talked?”

“No. We haven’t talked since the day he left.”

—-----

“I’ll e-mail you guys everyday! Facetime, instagram, hell, I’d even use Facebook for you turds! I promise.”

“For the record, Facebook is a great social media platform.” Kai said defensively.

“We get it. One of your videos got viral on that old people's platform.” Taehyun rolled his eyes.

The five of you trailed behind Soobin, with bags of gifts in your arms because Soobin couldn’t “leave you guys empty-handed”. That just meant he gave you a bunch of rubbish he didn’t need for New York.

Soobin huffed, his eyes welling with tears. “Fuck, I don’t wanna go.”

“You have to. You’ll be back in 2 years and we’ll be back at Mr Kim’s diner once again bickering about stupid shit like we always have. And don’t worry! We’ll come to visit the moment Yeonjun gets a job so he can pay for his air ticket.” Kai chuckled.

“I HAVE a job!” Yeonjun retaliated.

“You went to one interview.”

“And the lady said she’d call!”

“I think we should focus on the fact Soobin is leaving.” Taehyun muttered.

“No. Don’t. I’ll miss your stupid arguments and how stupid everything Beomgyu says is.”

“At least someone appreciates me.” Beomgyu beamed.

Your heart fastened as you felt the 6 of you inch closer to the departure hall. Every single memory of Soobin and you had replayed in your mind. The last-minute movie dates, the overnight calls, burning the midnight oil as you studied through your last year of college together.

“Soobin.” You singled him out from the rest, pulling onto his baggy sweatshirt. You dragged him to the corner with your 4 remaining friends making kissy noises at the back.

“Ooooo~ Soobin. I love you.”

“Hm?” You and Soobin were away from the others, standing by a charging station opposite his departure gate.

He fidgeted with his passport, peeling the cover and putting it back on.

“I’ll wait for you,” you finally said.

“And I’ll be back. Two years,” Soobin promised, kissing your cheek, the warmth lingering.

“Two years,” you nodded.

Soobin turned away but hesitated, feeling glued to the spot. Suddenly, he spun back around, grabbing your face with both hands and pressing his lips to yours.

When he finally pulled back, both of you were breathless. “I love you,” he whispered again, his forehead resting against yours.

“I love you too,” you replied, your voice shaky but certain.

There it was. The most pain you had ever felt. You’ve gotten hurt a lot of times in the past. When Yeonjun ran over your foot with his new hoverboard. When Beomgyu said you looked stupid wearing your favourite beret. When your middle school crush threw a ball straight to your face. When you fell off the stairs after tripping over your shoelaces. Your parents saying you’d never live up to your cousin. A whole ton of shit.

But this? This was a thousand times worse than everything combined.

—

“Good lord, I did not realise Haechan had this many friends.” Taehyun gulped as the five of you entered the wedding hall. Decorated in the ugliest laced curtains you had ever seen, you kept the look of disgust in your head. Though who were you to complain, you couldn’t even get over someone you liked 2 years ago.

“It’s a miracle he managed to settle down.” Beomgyu whispered, referring to how Haechan has had quite the run when he was still single, living in an apartment with like 5 other frat guys naming themselves ‘dreamies’ or something like that.

“Table 34? That’s all the way at the back!” Kai breathed, annoyed. “And to think I was his cheat sheet in high school.”

“You gave him a C+ at best.” Taehyun commented.

“A C+ that I studied for!”

“Let it go, Kai. At least we’re at the same table.” You consoled, staring at yourtable card.

“Thirty-fi-...Hold up. What the fuck. I’m at table 35!” Beomgyu spat.

“It’s probably because of that one time you stole his sandwich.” Yeonjun reminded us.

“It was a tuna sandwich. Who gives a shit? Hey, someone switch with me. I see Lucas at table 35 and I am not ready to sit with his big ass head blocking my view.” He growled.

“No.” The four of you chimed.

Beomgyu groaned. Ignoring his sulky gaze towards you, you looked over to table 34. Your eyes scanned the seats for your name.

Ah, there it was. A white chair draped in fancy lace and a ton of shit Haechan probably paid too much for. A chair that was…

Right next to Choi Soobin.

No…no…no. This couldn’t be happening to you.

“Hey, on second thought, Gyu. I’ll gladly change my seats with you.”

“What’s with the sudd-” Beomgyu glanced at your seat. “Yeah, I’ll take a chance with big head. Good luck.”

“Gyu!” You begged.

“Big hea- Lucas!” He called out before running over to the big goof at table 35.

“Guys, I swear to God, don’t leave me alone with him.” Your eyes filled with desperation.

“We won’t. Unlike Beomgyu, we actually love and cherish y- Oh my god, Taehyun, they have crepes here. I REPEAT! THEY HAVE CREPES!” Kai squeaked, pulling Taehyun towards the food.

“And then there were two.” Yeonjun sighed, placing a hand on your back.

“Jun…” You cried.

“I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere.” Yeonjun reassured you before leading you to your table.

You could feel your heart bursting out of your chest. In no way shape or form were you ready to see him waltz in with his plus one that so happened to be the big boss he slept with 2 years ago. Coincidence? You doubt it. Everyday you thought of the possibility of what could’ve been and it has sucked you back to misery every. Single. Time.

You sat next to Yeonjun and fiddled with the hem of your skirt. Your legs were shaking from nerves. Your eyes shifted across the room, hoping he wasn’t going to show up. But lo and behold, the monster of your nightmare strutting in with his beautiful girlfriend.

“Good God.” Kai whispered as he walked back to the table with crepes in his hand. “Here he comes.”

“Hm, Gyu was right. She does have bug eyes.” Taehyun added.

“Dude!” Yeonjun exclaimed, hitting Taehyun’s arms. “They’re coming! Act normal. Like we weren’t just talking about them!”

The four of you looked away trying to avoid eye contact with your former friend. You felt the chair beside you being filled when Kai burst out laughing.

“God! Yeonjun, HAHA, yes. Yep. I remember that incident. A while ago. It was crazy. Crazy.” Kai yelled aloud.

“Play it cool.” Taehyun elbowed Kai who was in a reasonable state of panic.

Soobin cleared his throat, twiddling his thumbs.

“Hey guys, it’s been a long time.” He begun.

The four of you glanced over to him, simultaneously nodding before looking back at each other.

“Yeah. 2 years?” Yeonjun replied, avoiding eye contact with the taller fellow.

“Um, yeah,” Soobin said. “This is my girlfriend.”

This time you spoke but not before clearing your throat, “Uh, yes. Hello.” You nodded in her direction before turning your attention back to Yeonjun.

You tugged onto Yeonjun’s shirt, mouthing, ‘Save me’. You knew if you had to look at them any longer you would start feeling pity for yourself and soon enough you’d start crying at a wedding you didn’t even give a shit about.

“It’s been a long time, Soobin. You’ve missed a lot.” Yeonjun spoke, you could feel Soobin tense up beside you. Probably from Yeonjun’s tone.

“Oh yeah?” You heard Soobin ask. Your eyes were still on Yeonjun.

“Well for starters, Kai finally found a corporate job.” Taehyun started.

“Yep. I’m a slave to capitalism now. Taehyun’s assistant at your service.” Kai chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He sipped his large glass of wine, looked away then twiddled with his thumbs. It was clear that the lovely Huening Kai hated these types of situations.

“Yeonjun too! He’s a fashion designer.” You managed to fumble out trying your darndest to be casual when your eyes moved over to observe Soobin for a fleeting moment before deciding that maybe it was too early to even look at him. One look and your friends understood your desperation to leave. Calmly trying to take over the conversation, Yeonjun opened his mouth to speak when Soobin beat him to it.

“What about you?”

“Why do you care?” You replied instantly before regretting how rude you probably sounded. “I mean, I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

“Well, you were always good with kids. It fits you.” Soobin said with so much sincerity in his voice you almost regret replying him with that much hostility. Almost.

“Mhm.” You nodded, still looking away.

“Uh, how about you?” Yeonjun asked, gesturing to Soobin.

God, how much you would PAY to have Beomgyu swoop into save you.

2 years ago, you’d never have thought that any of you would be in this awkward situation.. Hell, Soobin used to be your escape and now he was just someone you feared seeing. As time passed, it seemed that your friendship was almost nothing but faint memories.

“Well, uh…” Soobin began.

“We’re great.” His girlfriend chimed in. “Hi, I know you’ve probably seen me in his instagram stories.To answer your question, a few things are in store for both of us. Mr Choi here has a soon-to-be promotion coming up and Mrs Choi here is really proud.” She announced, shoving her finger in front of the four of you.

Your heart dropped. Despite being left for two years, maybe somewhere in your heart, you had still hoped he’d see what he was missing and come crawling back to you. Then maybe your happy ending could finally start. But that goal seemed a little too far fetched now.

The diamond rock stared at you and then eventually mocked you for being ugly and single.

Yeonjun’s eyes widened before sputtering out a bunch of words – congrats or something like that, you honestly couldn’t comprehend the conversation any further. Then you felt yourself being pulled back into this dreadful event when Yeonjun nudged you.

“I said…what about you? Are you seeing anyone?” She sneered, her attention glued on you, lifting an eyebrow, almost expectant to hear the answer she wanted.

After what seemed like hours, you mustered the courage to glance at Soobin, who was already watching you curiously. Once best friends, the word "love" had been thrown around casually. Yet, you didn’t want him prying into your private life, especially with his impending marriage.

“I…uh…” You stammered, unable to comprehend the situation or even form a proper sentence.

“Actually,” Yeonjun spoke. “Beomgyu and her have been dating for awhile now.”

“What?!” You exclaimed, your eyes wide at the sudden accusation.

You were upset about two things: first, this dreadful lie Yeonjun just spouted and second, that you weren’t able to catch Soobin’s reaction. Was he hurt? Was he angry? Was he feeling how you were feeling? Slightly betrayed, slightly hurt and just really hungry…God, who were you kidding? You couldn’t even stomach food with Soobin’s shoulder knocking onto yours every few seconds.

Upset by the lie and missing Soobin's reaction, you noticed Yeonjun’s unnerving nonchalance.

“Oh come on. Soobin’s an old friend. We can trust him,” Yeonjun lied smoothly, munching on crackers.

Kai and Taehyun, equally confused, looked at you in disbelief. Kai, his lips trembling, added, “Yeah, they’re really cute together. It was a shocker.”

Taehyun gulped, “You can’t imagine how surprised we were.”

“The most adorable couple I know! You should really hear the story of how Beomgyu asked her out. It was so cute!” Yeonjun added enthusiastically.

“Speaking of boyfriends, here he comes now!” Taehyun shouted, pointing at Beomgyu, who was strutting over with a goofy grin.

“You guys will not believe what Lucas said to me!” Beomgyu yelled over the loud music.

“Not the time,” Kai mumbled, gesturing to Soobin with his eyes.

Beomgyu’s grin faded as he noticed the tension in the group and quickly caught on to the situation.

“What?” Beomgyu said, confused before realising Soobin was right there. “Oh. It’s you. Hi bro. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? You look great for someone who left his best friends hanging for 2 years but great, nonetheless.”

You snorted, feeling a bit more confident with Beomgyu’s tactless honesty. With him around, you strangely always felt 2 times more powerful – like you had no fear because if anyone were to tell you off Beomgyu would be glad to do it back to them. Probably even worse than they had done to you.

Beomgyu pulled out his phone, rereading Yeonjun's text, then gasped aloud.

“Babe, I thought you said you weren’t ready to tell anyone!” Beomgyu exclaimed, resting his arms on your shoulders as he knelt beside your chair.

If you weren’t in on this, you’d believe you were in a relationship with Beomgyu. Their acting was top-notch.

“I didn’t think Yeonjun would announce it,” you lied.

“God, you know what? I am kind of glad that it’s out. I can finally tell the world that you’re mine.” Beomgyu grinned before planting a kiss on your cheek. “Soobin, I believe I have yet to tell you about how we first got together.”

“Uh…” Soobin stammered, almost wanting to decline.

“Thank you for asking me. Well…it was a few months after you left. She had been crying over your move for like two months, it was like really terrible. Constant tears, just blueh-” Beomgyu started, earning a glare from you.

“Babe…it’s part of the story. Stop looking at me like that. Did you know glaring can affect your aging? We can’t have you looking 60 when we haven’t had our first child.”

“Sorry.” You apologised even though you didn’t know why. He was, technically, embarrassing you. Your cheeks pinked when you felt Soobin look over to you.

“Anyway I was like shit, why does it hurt me so much to see her hurting? So I talked to Yeonjun –”

“That’s me.” Yeonjun raised his hands, inserting himself into a situation he started.

“This isn’t about you…” Beomgyu paused, grabbing Yeonjun’s hand and shoving it away. “I consulted Yeonjun and was like dude why the fuck am I so sad when she’s sad?”

“Yeah and I was like maybe you lik-” Yeonjun interrupted.

“Yeonjun, please!” Beomgyu grunted. "Anyway, he was like, 'Maybe you like her?' And I sat there for weeks thinking about it before I realized I did like her. Her hair smells like flowers, and she giggles so cutely at cat pictures. She’s always there for me. Every single time I feel dread, she’s there. She…” Beomgyu pauses, glancing at you with a gentle smile.

“Look at her. She’s…well, she’s undeniably beautiful. When I look at her, my troubles just melt away. Nothing in the world matters except for me and her.” Beomgyu's voice softened with every word, each one filled with sincerity.

You looked over to Beomgyu, feeling a warm blush spread across your cheeks, even though you knew he was pretending.

The two of you might have been staring at each other for a minute too long. Yeonjun cleared his throat.

“Uh. Right. Anyway, despite this, I didn’t really wanna ruin the friendship but I thought I’d rather try than leave and feel empty. Of course, she didn’t feel the same way since she was too busy being hung up on someone who wasn’t. even. there.”

You felt Soobin shift in his seat. He cleared his throat

“Well, I changed my mind eventually, didn’t I?” You added. A sudden surge of confidence pulsed through your veins. You wanted to lie. You wanted to believe that you were okay when Soobin left. You wanted Soobin to know that you didn’t need him. In fact, you didn’t want him. And you didn’t spend like 2-3 months moping in your house, crying over the fact he moved on and you didn’t.

“She didn’t like me back at first. So I went to Kai and Taehyun for some more advice and Kai was unsupportive at first, telling me how he didn’t want to lose another friend but you know Taehyun and Yeonjun convinced him and here we are.”

“Then what happened?” You asked, intrigued by Beomgyu’s story.

“Weren’t you there when it happened?” Soobin’s girlfriend piped in.

“Yeah. But I like it when my baby tells the story.” You glared back at her before wrapping your arms around Beomgyu’s waist.

“Well…I, uh, I told her on her birthday. I gave her a necklace with a picture of us we took on the day I took her out to cheer her up. We went to a photobooth and she kissed my cheek for the first time so I printed the photo and placed it in the necklace and told her I liked her and here we are.”

You looked down at your necklace. Well, Beomgyu wasn’t lying about one thing.

—-

“Okay, my turn!” Beomgyu exclaimed, handing you a personalised pink box.

“What is it?” You asked, curiosity evident. You shook the box, a single metal-like item knocking on the walls of the boxes.

“You have hands. You can open the box.” Beomgyu joked.

Your fingers graced the velvet box, “God, the box is so pretty.”

“I know how much of a sucker you are for ornate boxes.”

You grinned at your best friend. He did know you. Maybe a little too much.

Beomgyu searched your eyes for any sign of excitement and when he got a squeak from you, he knew you were. His nerves finally settled down when you finally opened the box revealing a chain necklace with a single heart hanging off.

“Gyu!” You cried, opening the locket. “It’s so pretty and –the picture! This is so cute!”

You squealed and jumped into his arms, wrapping yours around his much larger exterior. “Thank you!”

His hand found their way to your back, his fingers played with the wrinkles of your shirt, “I’m glad you liked it. I have one just like it so if we ever get lost and separated, I’ll know how to find you.” Beomgyu grinned.

“Why would we ever get separated?” You asked, looking at him through your eyelashes.

“There could be zombies.”

“Zombie, no zombie, we’re literally together 24/7. Let’s face it, I’d probably get bitten in the first 2 hours and you’d probably let me infect you because you got lazy or something.”

“You’re right. We wouldn’t make it. You know who would?”

“Taehyun.” You both sang.

—---

“You think he bought it?” you asked with a smirk as you swung open your apartment door. Chucking your shoes into the cabinet next to the entrance, you flopped down onto your sofa. Beomgyu followed suit, collapsing into the bean bag chair.

“I think Kai showing Soobin that video of us kissing at the New Year's party really sealed the deal,” Beomgyu replied with a grin.

“It’s a good thing the sound wasn’t on, or else he’d hear a loud ‘I TOLD YOU THEY’D DO IT FOR TWENTY’,” you mimicked Yeonjun's bet with Taehyun, recalling the hilarious wager over your New Year's kiss. In your defense, it was all in good fun, and the $20 came in handy during your ramen days.

“Look at us now! Gainfully employed adults who don’t have to resort to crazy dares for lunch money,” Beomgyu chuckled.

“I wouldn’t consider kissing you a crazy dare,” you quipped after a pause.

“You don’t think kissing your best friend is crazy?” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t think kissing you is crazy,” you said casually.

“Oh,” Beomgyu cleared his throat. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. I just know I wouldn’t kiss Tae, Kai, or Jun.”

“Hm?”

“Seems gross. Lightly verging on incestuous,” you laughed, switching on the TV to distract yourself. The conversation shifted as a dating show you both enjoyed came on, pulling you into its drama-filled world.

After a while, Beomgyu broke the silence. “I feel the same way.”

“Huh?” you turned to him in surprise.

“I wouldn’t kiss Tae, Kai, or Jun either. Or anyone else, for that matter. Seems gross.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words, your heart warming at the shared sentiment.

The corners of your lip turned upward.

—---

Beomgyu’s eyes remained fixated on you as you twirled around in front of the mirror, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was witnessing something magical. His heart skipped a beat as he admired how the dress accentuated every graceful movement you made.

“Gyu…”

“CHOI BEOMGYU!”

“What?!” Beomgyu snapped, trying to appear engrossed in the magazine in his hands. “I was in the middle of reading an article! Hilary Duff’s secrets to conquering acne and online haters—front cover exclusive.” He held up the magazine proudly, hoping his distraction tactic worked.

You giggled, “Gyu, how do I look?”

“The dress is... um, good,” Beomgyu stuttered, his cheeks turning pink as he peeked over the magazine. ‘Good?’ He mentally scolded himself. ‘Could you be any more awkward?’ He wanted to say you looked breathtaking, enchanting, but the words seemed to escape him in that moment.

“That’s all?” Yeonjun teased from behind his own magazine, grinning mischievously at Beomgyu.

“Can I live?” Beomgyu shot back, feeling Yeonjun’s teasing intensify his embarrassment.

In his head, Beomgyu cursed Yeonjun’s nosiness. Maybe keeping his feelings for you a secret would have been a better idea.

—--------

“What the fuck was that?” Beomgyu exploded as he stormed into his apartment, Yeonjun trailing behind with a thousand apologies.

“I said I was sorry! I panicked!” Yeonjun exclaimed, his voice filled with regret.

“Undo what you just did,” Beomgyu demanded, pacing back and forth in the living room.

“I can’t! You saw how hurtful Soobin's new girlfriend was! I didn’t want our best friend to feel even worse seeing the love of her life get married while she’s here, still hung up on him,” Yeonjun reasoned, trying to justify his impulsive actions.

“So you drag me into it?” Beomgyu questioned sharply, clearly displeased.

“You were dragged into it when you told me you liked her! Face it, Gyu, everything you said today about the two of you was true, except that you didn’t actually tell her you like her.”

“And for good reason!” Beomgyu shot back. “You saw how worked up she was over Soobin! She even agreed to fake date me just to get back at him!”

“Maybe it’s a good thing!” Yeonjun attempted to console him.

“Yeah, totally! I agree. Being her fake boyfriend is so much better than being her real one! Thank you, Yeonjun! You really are Cupid! Maybe I should invite you to our fake wedding! We could have fake kids too!” Beomgyu yelled, his sarcasm dripping with frustration.

“Okay, maybe I haven’t thought it all the way through, but according to this ridiculous post by Soobin’s girlfriend, they’re going to be here all month. So why don’t you two start posting cute couple shit, first convince Soobin that you got the girl, and then actually get the girl?” Yeonjun suggested with a mischievous grin.

“What kind of sick, twisted, and insane plan is that?” Beomgyu felt his last shred of sanity being pushed out the window by Yeonjun's outrageous suggestion.

“A really, really bad one,” Yeonjun admitted sheepishly, realizing the mess he had inadvertently created.

—-----------

"So we’re doing this?" Beomgyu gulped nervously.

"I guess. I mean, how hard is it to act like we’re in love? You and Yeonjun do it all the time," you teased lightly.

"I’m gonna need you to take whatever you said back," Beomgyu replied with a mock shudder.

"Should our first date be at Lotte World then? I heard senior citizens get half off. We can bring Yeonjun," you joked, chuckling at the thought.

Your humour eased some of Beomgyu's tension, though it also stirred something deeper within him. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that you had grown closer to Beomgyu after Soobin's departure. You practically lived at his place, even having your own drawer there now. While Beomgyu wasn't trying to replace Soobin, he had become Your Beomgyu in a way that was uniquely yours.

“MAY DAY!” Kai’s voice echoed through the hallways as he barged into Beomgyu’s room, phone in hand. “Look!” He shoved the phone screen in front of Beomgyu's face.

Soobin: Great seeing you guys the other day! We should hang out again. Maybe just the 6 of us like old times.

“Did you reply?” Beomgyu asked, trying to mask his concern.

“I…”

“Kai…”

“LOOK! I panicked and said okay! DON’T KILL ME!” Kai screamed.

You and Beomgyu exchanged a glance, silently agreeing to a plan that would convince Soobin you were indeed in a real relationship.

“We’ll do it,” you both said in unison.

“What?” Kai looked bewildered.

“I want to do it. It’s a chance to show him that I’ve moved on,” you explained firmly.

“You’ve moved on like this far,” Kai teased, stretching his arm toward Beomgyu.

“What’s wrong with dating me?” Beomgyu joked back, though inwardly, he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever date him if it was a different circumstance.

—--

“Hold my right hand.” Beomgyu insisted.

The two of you were walking to the diner that the 6 of you were supposed to meet up at. It was strange since the last time you were there, you and Huening were manning the counter, Beomgyu had shaggy black hair that made him look like delinquent…(well a cute delinquent but you weren’t going to let Beomgyu know that, it was gonna go to his head), Yeonjun was unemployed, Taehyun minding his own business as usual and well when Soobin…was the love of your life.

“What? Why?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“My right hand says I wuv you baby while my left hand says lets game bro!” He lifted his left arm, flexing his muscles to you.

“Beomgyu, I swear to God, if you don’t stop doing that I’ll fake break up with you right now.”

“Okay, sorry. Geez.” Beomgyu rested his arms across your waist, giving your sides a gentle squeeze. “Nervous?”

“Well…I’m fake dating my best friend to get back at my ex-crush who promised he’d wait for me and then got together with the woman he said he didn’t have any feelings for and is now engaged to her. Yeah. Kinda.” You rambled, sweat dripping down your forehead.

“Look, it’s just the 6 of us today. No weird looks from the loony with the bug eyes.” Beomgyu tried reassuring you.

“It wasn’t her I was worried about. It’s Soobin.”

“Oh.”

“It’s stupid.” You sighed, feeling your body tense as you inched closer to the familiar neighbourhood.

“Try me.”

“It’s just…when I look at him, it’s like I’m 18 again. The feelings come rushing back when I don’t want it to. I was an idiot then.”

“You’re not an idiot.” Beomgyu pursed his lips before continuing. “You’re you. You love hard and you mourned what could’ve been. You’re a person with feelings and I- we love you for that.”

Blood rushed to your cheeks. The feeling of shyness overwhelmed you.

Clearing your throat, you pointed up to the diner, “There it is.”

You felt your throat closing up. Were you really about to fake date your best friend who you supposedly had no feelings for just to get back at someone who you liked 2 years ago? Were you about to stoop so low just to feel like you’ve gotten back at him? What were you aiming to achieve?

“There’s the lovebirds!” Kai’s voice echoed throughout the little cafe.

The place still looked the same. The crooked paintings on the wall, the jagged tear on the booth sofa that Kai made when he dropped a pair of scissors and the rusty wall decor that your manager insisted on keeping though you said the customers complained about its stench. Oddly enough, the stench was strangely comforting to you. It reminded you of the old times.

Your eyes found its way to Soobin, who was wearing a tight black shirt that clung onto his body for its dear life, khaki pants that accentuated his calves and a pair of black converse. His jet black hair slicked back with gel as he unintentionally flexed his arm, gripping onto the large glass of milkshake with his left hand. God, he was gorgeous. Fuck. You thought.

As you took a seat between Taehyun and Beomgyu, you felt his piercing gaze burn holes through your head.

“Well, never thought I’d see the six of us back here.” Beomgyu spoke after the painful and excruciating minute of silence.

“Can’t believe Mr. Kim still keeps that hideous picture of us up there.” Kai pointed to the featured wall.

Mr. Kim, your old manager, had a wall dedicated to employees of the month. Kai had been employee of the month for 3 months straight while you for 2. On a technicality, you were the only two people who worked for him for these 5 months.

“Aw come on, at least you look cute in yours. I look like a sloth. Look at my eyebags.” You laughed.

“I think you look pretty.”

You looked up, locking eyes with Soobin who had just called you words you never thought you’d ever hear come out from his pretty little mouth.

“Thank you?” You squeezed Beomgyu’s hand.

“Thank you on behalf of my girlfriend. I guess I’ve finally found one thing we both can agree on.”

“Your eyebags were horrendous.” Taehyun brought up, shaking his head.

“They were.” You groaned, “You guys didn’t think to get me collagen masks for my birthday?”

“We got you something better.” Beomgyu said. “Remember?”

“You guys got me a custom pillow with Chris Evans on the front.” You sighed.

“THAT WASN’T MY IDEA!” Yeonjun yelled, “It was Soobin’s!”

“Only because she said she wanted to marry him!” Soobin defended himself. “She was in love with him all throughout college!”

“Well, it could still happen!” You fought.

“Doesn’t he already have a girlfriend?” Kai chuckled. “Oh wait a minute. Don’t YOU already have one?”

“I’m pretty sure Gyu would be okay with me leaving him for Chris Evans.” You giggled.

“Don’t worry. We have a pact. She can bump Chris Evans if I can bump Scarlett Johansson.”

“They’re on our list.” You joked along.

It was strange. You felt like you were 18 again. Laughing away like nothing could hurt you. Like Soobin hadn’t left.

“So…um…Soobin, when’s the big wedding?” Yeonjun asked.

This got you interested. When was the big wedding? How did they even find time to fall in love between the 2 months of Soobin moving in? What happened to “she’s not even in this department” or “she didn’t have anything to do with my promotion?” You were having thoughts. Bitter thoughts.

“Next month.” Soobin answered.

The atmosphere died. Taehyun who was sitting beside you stiffened.

“We weren’t invited?” Taehyun spoke. He had always been the more direct one out of all of you. Though Beomgyu was talking shit most of the time, you still knew he had moments when he couldn’t naturally articulate his anger..

“Guys…”

A pregnant pause engulfed the entirety of the room. Taehyun sighed before finally bursting.

“No, seriously. First you leave us, and after 2 months you just stopped contacting us altogether. You got with someone you promised was a one night stand. You left our best friend waiting on your stupid fuckboy ass and didn’t update us about anything, came back 2 years later saying you’re getting married to said one night stand and didn’t invite us to your wedding? God…we were so off when we voted Yeonjun as the first person to leave the friend group.” Taehyun rambled.

“Hey! What the fuck. When did this voting take place?” Yeonjun gasped.

“On Gyu’s birthday but…holy shit, why’d you even wanna come hang with us?” Kai finally mustered the courage to talk.

“I missed you guys. I missed us. I’m sorry, I know I fucked up-”

“Fucked up doesn’t cut it. We’re clearly not as important as we thought we were.” Taehyun’s voice grew an inch louder. Accumulating stares from all around the diner, you cleared your throat and held Taehyun’s hand, “It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not.” Soobin spoke, his voice filled with remorse. “Please…”

“Honest to God, I don’t even know why you’re holding your wedding back in Korea. Was New York too expensive for your pip pip cheerio girlfriend?” Yeonjun spoke.

“No. I-”

“Was New York out of people to backstab so you came back to Korea to do it to us twice?” Beomgyu scoffed.

The group erupted in laughter – with the exception of Soobin. Just like he was in the past, he didn’t like being the end of people’s jokes.

“No. It’s because I’m moving back to Korea.”

—--

You felt slightly defeated. All that talk, and you couldn’t even stay long enough for the food to arrive. You couldn’t, not with Soobin telling you that he was moving back permanently. With his fiancée. His future wife. God, you couldn’t even stomach that thought.

“Are you okay?” Beomgyu asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“I don’t know how you want me to react, Gyu.”

Beomgyu sighed, pulling you closer to his chest. “You’re silly.”

“What?”

“For being so faithful to someone who has clearly forgotten about you.”

“Gyu, if you’re not done being an asshole th—”

“It’s been two years. He’s moved on. You should too. You deserve so much more than just waiting around crying over some mediocre guy.”

“Am I not good enough? Am I not worth the wait?” You finally broke. “The night he told me he’d be moving to New York… he told me I was worth it. I was worth the two years.”

You sighed, laying your head onto Beomgyu’s shoulder. You were mentally exhausted. Years of feeling like you weren’t chosen piled up, making you feel like you were a shitty person in every way.

You continued, “Just months later, I see on Instagram that he’s frolicking at tourist sites with the same girl he told me not to worry about. How am I supposed to feel? I know it’s been two years, and I know we weren’t even dating, but when I look at him, it feels like just yesterday he was telling me how pretty I looked wearing my stupid purple dress.” You took a pause, gasping for air after rambling to Beomgyu and crying while at it.

“God,” Beomgyu mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“What? You must think I’m pretty stupid.”

“What? Yeah. I do,” Beomgyu said.

“What the fuck. You’re supposed to be comforting me!”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Beomgyu sighed. “You’re better than this. You can’t be moping around forever. Sure, he was your first love, but it doesn’t mean he was your only love. You’re incredibly beautiful and have the purest heart, despite being a little devil at times. If Soobin doesn’t see what he’s missing out on, then maybe he wasn’t that great in the first place. Move on. You can do much better than being sad over a man.”

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, reeling the emotions back in.

What Beomgyu had said essentially pulled you back to reality. You corrected your posture and cleared your throat. “I’m sorry,” you repeated.

“You don’t have to be. I’m just say—”

“I know, and I needed that.” Leaning in closer to your best friend, you kissed both sides of his cheeks, feeling the warmth of his face between your lips and his skin. “I love you.”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, looking away from you.

“Hey, are you blushing?” you sang. You teasingly pulled his arm. “Come on. Let me see your face.”

“I’m not! You’re just so ugly. I had to turn away.”

“Oh, come on,” you rolled your eyes. “You know the thing you said about Soobin being my first love?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, he wasn’t,” you chuckled.

“Oh. Was it Yeonjun then?”

You shook your head. “No. He was never my type.”

“Don’t tell me,” he gasped. “Our baby Huening?”

“Gyu, be serious.”

Beomgyu gasped. “God, you know I never pegged you as a Taehyun kind of guy. Probably because he’s really smart, and you’re hanging by the thinnest thread.”

“First of all,” you flicked his forehead. “Secondly, why are you so sure it’s someone in our friend group?”

Beomgyu chuckled. “You don’t have any more guy friends besides us. Unless… this is your coming out story, which by the way, I’m totally supportive of.”

“It’s not,” you laughed. “Anyway, as I was saying…”

You kept mum. You weren’t sure if the revelation of what you were about to say would scare him off.

“Nevermind,” you cowered.

“What? Man, I hate it when you do this! You get me all interested only to say nevermind.”

“It’s not even that important!”

“Everything you say is important,” Beomgyu prodded.

“You’re just saying that because you wanna know!”

“Okay then tell me!”

“It’s just… you know,” you stuttered. “It was you.”

“Huh?”

“My first… love?” you cringed as you said it. You hadn’t expected to tell Beomgyu that, not after you’d just cried over his ex-best friend.

—----------------------

You first met Soobin’s friends when you were at his place. It was only about the 4th time you’ve ever been to Soobin’s. He had invited you under the guise of watching a movie he’d been too scared to watch alone. You weren’t exactly expecting company but here Beomgyu and Huening Kai were – at Soobin’s doorstep with jumbo sized packets of cheetos and three large sodas.

“Shit. We didn’t know you were gonna have company.” Beomgyu grinned at Soobin whose cheeks turned bright red.

“I literally told you guys in the group chat yesterday,” Soobin rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bag of chips out of Beomgyu’s arms.

“Well, hello there.” Kai donned his infamous sheepish smile, extending a hand, “I’m Huening Kai. You can call me Huening or Kai but people usually call me handsome kid.”

“I’ll be sure to call you the latter then.” You giggled, accepting his hand shake.

Kai moved, walking toward the sofa and your eyes landed onto the person behind Kai.

“Hi.” You breathed. He was quite literally the most beautiful person you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. Shaggy long hair, long lashes, eyes that sparkled brighter than the sun, his legs beating the distance from Earth to Mars. You were in love.

“Hi, I’m Beomgyu!” He beamed. Even his smile was pretty.

You managed to stutter your name out like the idiot you were.

Your personality had become a complete 0. It tended to do that when you were with someone you found extremely attractive.

Soobin pulled you aside, “Why are you all fidgety and awkward?”

“I’m just…nervous.”

“What? You were all happy and excited to see Kai but when Beo- oh my God. You think he’s cute, don’t you?”

“Shut up! He’s gonna think I’m weird!” You hit Soobin’s shoulders. “Please don’t make it awkward.”

“I won’t. Besides, I think you guys would be great together.”

—-------

Along the way, Beomgyu had a couple of girls he had a crush on, all of them distinctly different from how you were. So different. You just figured you weren’t his type and gradually forgot about how you felt about him. However, the feeling came back every now and then he had done something sweet. But somehow, you managed to convince yourself that Beomgyu was just your platonic soulmate.

—----

“Do you think he likes me back?” You asked Soobin, who had his airpods in.

“What? Did you say something?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head, embarrassed that you’d even ask a question like that.

“Maybe.” Soobin answered.

“I thought you didn’t hear what I said.” You scoffed.

"I like it when you bring embarrassing shit up. Sue me," Soobin laughed. "Seriously, if you're that worried, just tell him you like him. If he doesn't feel the same, it's not a big deal. Gyu isn't the type to make things awkward with someone he doesn't want to lose."

“What if I make things awkward?”

“Oh 100% gonna happen if it goes south.” Soobin laughed.

“Scoobs…” You whined.

"But it won’t. Because you’re amazing. He’d be an idiot not to like you. What’s there not to like?" Soobin smiled. You didn’t really notice, but the smile faded as soon as you stood up to walk to the kitchen.

“You know what, maybe I will tell him I like him. Thanks, Soobin.” You grinned.

—

You hate to admit it but the whole fake dating thing had you thinking about what could’ve been and had inevitably forced you to revisit the feelings you once had for him.

You and Beomgyu walked into the bar that Kai had been raving about for weeks.

Scanning the rooftop for your friends, your eyes finally landed onto Taehyun who had been aggressively waving to the both of you.

“Why the fuck are you guys holding hands? Soobin isn’t even here yet.” Kai smirked. “Unless…”

“Oh shut up.” You deadpanned which made Kai’s grin wider.

“We were just practising.” Beomgyu said.

—

“Beomgyu, I like you.” You said, staring at yourself in the mirror. The goofy look plastered on your face didn’t help ease any of your anxiety.

“That’s it?” Soobin sighed, “Where’s the heart?”

“Scoobs, I can barely talk to him or look him in the eye. How romantic do you think this confession should be?”

“Look…I’ve already told the boys. We’re all gonna back out from movie night last minute and the two of you are gonna be alone. We’ve practically set up the perfect date for the two of you!” Soobin yelled.

“I hardly think seeing a movie about apes is romantic.”

“Well, Kai picked the movie before we even planned the date so…”

“This is ridiculous.”

Soobin and the rest of the boys were stationed a few feet away from you. All in dark disguises, shielding themselves from Beomgyu who could potentially be anywhere.

“This is ridiculous.” You whispered through your airpods.

“You look great.” Taehyun gave you a thumbs up from 5 feet away.

“He’s gonna know something’s up!”

“Why? Just because you’re wearing a cute purple dress and you’re finally not in sweats and don’t look like a homeless person?” Yeonjun wondered aloud.

“What I need is encouragement.” You sneered.

“You look beautiful.” Soobin mumbled. “Really.”

You looked up and saw Soobin offering you a tiny smile. You grinned as your anxiety lowered.

“FUCK, HE’S HERE!” Kai panicked into the mic, jumping behind a large poster.

“There you are! I’ve called you like 5 times but it keeps hanging up on me. Are you on another call?” Beomgyu asked.

“Uh…” You shook your head. “No! I guess something’s wrong with my phone.” You chuckled awkwardly.

“Well, get this, the boys ditched movie night.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.

“We can go home if you want.” You blurted.

“What? No! We can still have fun. We don’t need those idiots.”

“So you still wanna catch this movie?”

“God, no.” Beomgyu shook his head. “I’m slightly thankful Kai isn’t here because then I wouldn’t have to watch that shit.”

“Tell him you like him.” You heard Kai’s voice echo through your AirPods.

“No,” you said aloud.

“What?”

“Oh! I said, 'Oh!'” You laughed awkwardly.

“Just tell him already. I’m getting bored,” Kai repeated.

“Beomgyu. I need to tell you something.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Gyu. I li-”

“GYUBEAR!” A girl screamed, prancing in to hug Beomgyu.

You froze, the words caught in your throat as you watched Beomgyu wrap his arms around the new girl, smiling brightly at her. With a forced smile, you turned away, hiding the disappointment that gripped your chest.

"Who... who is this?" you asked, feeling a knot of confusion tightening in your chest.

"This is Rina. She's my new girlfriend," Beomgyu grinned, his smile widening as he introduced her.

She looked...wildly different from how you did. Just like the rest of the girls Beomgyu had previously dated. Nothing like you.

Your heart sank at his words, the weight of missed opportunity pressing down on you. You forced a smile, trying to hide your disappointment. "Oh, hi Rina!" you managed to say, though your voice wavered slightly.

Rina beamed at you, oblivious to the turmoil inside you. "Nice to meet you! Beomgyu talks about you all the time," she said cheerfully, squeezing Beomgyu's hand affectionately.

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. Kai's voice echoed in your mind, urging you to confess your feelings, but now it felt too late. You glanced at Beomgyu, trying to mask your emotions behind a facade of happiness for him. "I'm really happy for you both," you said softly, your smile feeling more forced than ever.

Beomgyu looked at you with a hint of concern in his eyes, noticing the change in your demeanor. "Thanks," he said gently, reaching out to touch your arm briefly.

“Oh right, what were you gonna say?” Beomgyu asked, his voice filled with curiosity as he turned his attention back to you, oblivious to the turmoil raging within you.

You hesitated for a moment, caught off guard by his question. The truth hung heavy in the air, but with Rina standing there, her hand still intertwined with Beomgyu's, it felt like a betrayal to admit your feelings now.

"It's nothing," you replied with a forced smile, shaking your head slightly. "Just... congratulations again on your relationship with Rina. I'm really happy for you."

Beomgyu frowned slightly, sensing something unsaid in your response. "Are you sure?" he asked gently, concern evident in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure," you insisted, trying to sound convincing. "It was nice meeting you, Rina. I’m gonna get some popcorn. Or go to the toilet actually.” You laughed.

As you retreated to the concession stand, you couldn't shake the feeling of regret and sadness. Kai's voice echoed in your mind once more, urging you to be honest with yourself and with Beomgyu. But now, it felt like too little, too late.

You leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths to steady yourself. The weight of unspoken words and missed chances hung heavily on your heart, leaving you grappling with what could have been if only you had spoken up sooner.

–

“Well if it isn’t my favourite couple!” Yeonjun grinned as he wrapped his long lanky arms across you and Beomgyu’s shoulder.

“Why are we here again?” Taehyun sighed. “Thought we were done with him.”

“Unfortunately I don’t think we’ll be getting rid of the devil any time soon.” Beomgyu mumbled, his hands still around your waist.

The five of you gazed upon the tall fucking building that Soobin had invited all of you to. His pre-wedding party. A day you dreaded. You didn’t understand why he bothered inviting the lot of you. You weren’t friends well at least not anymore.

The room was decorated in the colours cobalt blue with tiny tinges of gold which made you gag.

“Stop looking so…” Kai thought as he looked at you. He paused, unable to find words to describe the sad look on your face.

“Ugly?” Yeonjun muttered.

“I was going to say worried.”

“We do NOT need this type of negative energy tonight. We are out here as sworn brothers.” Taehyun spoke before looking at you, “And sister! Tonight we breach the enemy’s headquarters but we shall rise above all else and make it out alive.”

“Y’know she’s allowed to feel whatever she’s feeling.” Beomgyu said, surprising everyone.

“A level headed response from our group’s own comedic legend? Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially landed in Neverland.” Yeonjun said.

“Shut up, asshat.” Beomgyu deadpanned, “I just think we should be supportive friends tonight.”

“I’m fine, Gyu. Thanks. Actually, I’m feeling fine. Sure, the person I once loved is marrying someone else. Sure, I was in love with him for like a billion years. Sure, it hurts to see him standing there with a beautiful girl in his arms with a hundred people congratulating him.”

“Once loved? Clear improvement! Applause for our friend who has matured.” Kai cheered.

“Any other positives there?” Yeonjun asked.

“Yeah. I still have you guys!” You beamed. “4 equally annoying, equally shitty assholes that somehow manage to make everything a little bit better!”

“But like…you like me better though right?” Kai coughed.

“Meh.”

Just a few moments later, you found yourself situated in the balcony, getting fresh air away from well everyone and everything. Beomgyu appeared behind you.

“Hey.”

"Hey," you replied softly, not turning to face Beomgyu. The city lights sprawled out before you, a sea of twinkling distractions that offered solace from the chaotic scene inside.

Beomgyu leaned against the balcony railing beside you, his presence a comforting weight in the tense air. "You doing okay?"

You nodded, but the knot in your stomach betrayed your attempt at nonchalance. "Yeah, just... wasn't expecting all this, you know?"

"Yeah," Beomgyu sighed, his voice tinged with understanding. "It's a lot to take in."

You finally turned to look at him, catching the sincerity in his eyes. Despite the teasing and banter among your friends, Beomgyu's gaze held an unwavering concern that spoke volumes. "Thanks Gyu for always being here for me." you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Always," he replied softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Even if we're forced into attending devil's parties."

You chuckled weakly, grateful for his attempt to lighten the mood. "Seriously, though. You...all of you have been my rocks through all of this."

"We're always here," Beomgyu reassured you, his voice gentle. "No matter what."

The sincerity in his words warmed you, and for a fleeting moment, the weight on your chest felt a little lighter. "I appreciate that," you admitted, turning your gaze back to the city lights.

Silence settled between you, comfortable and companionable. The night breeze swept around the balcony, carrying away some of the tension that had built up inside you.

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners with genuine warmth. "No tears today though? Impressive."

"Or maybe I've just reached the peak of emotional numbness," you joked, though there was a hint of truth in your words.

He nudged your shoulder playfully. "Nah. You've always been resilient, even when things get tough."

You tilted your head, considering his words. "Maybe you're right. I guess I've spent enough time wallowing."

"Exactly," Beomgyu nodded, his voice earnest. "It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, but it's also okay to move forward."

"Besides, there are plenty of other fish in the sea," you added with a wry smile, trying to inject a bit of levity into the moment.

Beomgyu chuckled softly. "Exactly. And who knows, maybe one of those fish will surprise you."

You nodded thoughtfully, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "Yeah, maybe."

Beomgyu looked over to you. He found you especially pretty that night. He pinched himself.

'Don't make a move on her, you idiot.' He thought to himself.

Beomgyu cleared his throat, suddenly feeling self-conscious under your gaze.

"So, any particular fish caught your eye tonight?" he asked with a playful grin.

"I don't know so far the only fish worth seeing is you."

Your playful remark caught Beomgyu off guard, causing a slight blush to rise to his cheeks. He chuckled nervously, his playful grin faltering for a moment as he processed your words.

"Smooth," he managed to reply, his tone a mix of surprise and amusement. "But seriously, I hope I'm not the only fish you're stuck with tonight."

You laughed softly, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood once more. "If I'm being honest, you're the only fish I'd want to be stuck with tonight."

Beomgyu's smile widened, a warmth spreading through him at your words. "I'm honoured," he replied sincerely, his gaze softening as he looked at you.

"You don't have to thank me too much though," he finally said, his voice gentle. "Being there for you, supporting you—it's just what friends do, right?"

"Right...friends..." Your voice trailed off, sensing a shift in the atmosphere between you and Beomgyu. The word "friends" hung in the air.

Beomgyu hesitated, his gaze flickering between your eyes as if searching for something. "Yeah," he agreed softly, his tone thoughtful. "Friends."

—

The five of you didn’t spend long there. In fact, none of you even bothered waiting for Soobin to make his obligatory rounds to your group. Within 20 minutes, you eagerly departed for the nearest diner around the corner.

The air was still, the night unusually calm. Your heart had raced furiously earlier, but now you felt surprisingly composed. A bit melancholic before the party, perhaps, but now? You were okay.

You exchanged glances with your four friends, then locked eyes with Beomgyu.

Ah, Beomgyu. Your rock. Your closest friend in the world. Secretly, you knew you probably favored him over the others. Though you’d never admit it to Kai. Beomgyu was amazing. Wonderful. Handsome. Kind. Funny.

You shook your head forcefully.

No. He’s your best friend. You can’t, shouldn’t, and won’t fall for ANOTHER best friend, especially one who you know would never feel the same way.

But his hair... so well-kept, smelling faintly of peaches.

Nope. Not today!

His lips... soft, plump, and so...

“Dude,” Yeonjun interrupted, nudging you.

“Huh? What?” You snapped out of your reverie, jolted back to reality.

“Your order?” Yeonjun nodded towards the server.

“Oh, right!”

—

It was late at night, and the world outside had quieted down to a gentle hum. You lay in bed, bathed in the soft glow of your bedside lamp. Tonight, however, your mind kept circling back to one person: Beomgyu.

You couldn't shake the memories of the day, the way Beomgyu's laughter had echoed in your mind, his smile etched vividly in your thoughts.

As you lay there, thoughts tangled and emotions swirling, you realised with a sudden clarity that your feelings for Beomgyu had resurfaced. Your heart skipped a beat at the realisation, and you couldn't deny the surge of excitement mixed with apprehension.

But you knew better than to let yourself fall for him again. You remembered the pain of unrequited love, the heartache of hoping for something that couldn't be. You couldn't bear the thought of opening up your heart once more, only to risk getting hurt all over again.

With a sigh, you pushed aside those burgeoning feelings, burying them deep within as a protective measure. You reminded yourself of the importance of guarding your heart, of prioritising your own emotional well-being.

Except... you weren't one to prioritise your own well-being. You were drawn to the allure of risking it all, of plunging into the unknown even when it meant potential heartache.

So there you were, wide awake in the stillness of the night, wrestling with an irrational urge to head over to Beomgyu's house and confess your sudden realisation of feelings.

The thought gnawed at you, refusing to be ignored. What if this time was different? What if Beomgyu felt the same way? The uncertainty was both terrifying and exhilarating, stirring a whirlwind of emotions within you.

Before you could overthink it further, you found yourself grabbing your keys and slipping out into the quiet darkness. The drive to Beomgyu's house was a blur, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you wrestled with doubts and hopes in equal measure.

Arriving at his doorstep, you hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding against your chest. With a deep breath to steady yourself, you knocked softly, the sound echoing in the silence of the night.

—--

As soon as Beomgyu arrived home, he climbed onto his bed and slid under the covers. The events of the evening replayed in his mind like a movie on repeat, each scene vivid and etched with emotions he struggled to make sense of..

Having active and lively monologues was a frequent occurrence. Sure, it helped him rationalize his thoughts and emotions, but it also bruised his ego and dragged him into the depths of despair when he realized how chaotic his own thoughts and emotions were, beyond rescue.

Dear God, how he wished he had no emotions whatsoever.

Bzzz.

Gyu: You okay? You: Yep. Why are you still awake? It’s 3. Gyu: Could say the same to you.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

He typed, “Wanna come over?”. He erased the message and shook his head.

He typed again, “I’m feeling kinda lonely and I miss you. Come over?” He erased the message and let out a sigh in frustration.

He typed again, “I think I like you.” He erased the message and screamed into his pillow.

Bzzz.

You: Open the door.

Beomgyu walked over to his door and there you were, in the flesh, almost as if he manifested it.

“What... what are you doing here?”

“Look… I’m done,” you sighed, your voice trembling with emotion. “I can’t be your pretend girlfriend anymore. I don’t want to keep lying to everyone.”

“What... what’s the sudden—”

“I should’ve done this a long time ago. I should’ve told you the truth and I should’ve been more brave about my feelings. If I've learnt anything from the situation with Soobin is that I've spent too long wallowing in being fearful I'd get rejected but -”

“What?”

"That movie night years ago with that Rina girl... I had feelings for you. Strong ones," you admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I had planned to tell you that night."

Beomgyu gazed at you, his face a blend of surprise and confusion. His thoughts raced, connecting dots from the past, comprehending the unspoken tension and meaningful glances between you.

"I... I had no idea," he finally murmured, his voice barely audible.

“I know,” you nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. “But now you do.”

The room fell silent, tension thick in the air as you both stood there, words hanging between you like a delicate thread.

"And... tonight... I was in bed. I was doing a lot of thinking," you continued, your voice steadying as you gathered your thoughts. "I thought of Soobin, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm glad he's getting married and I'm glad he's happy. I've been holding onto my resentment towards him, but it's time to let that go. It was a dick move for him to move on so quickly from what could've been, but he fell in love. I couldn't... I couldn't possibly stand in the way of love."

Beomgyu listened intently, trying to grasp the significance of your words as they hung in the air between you.

"I don't understand—" he started to say.

"And then... I thought of you," you interrupted softly, your gaze meeting his with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. "I thought about what you've done for me in the past few years. The moments we've shared, the laughter, the support. What we have..."

Beomgyu's expression softened, his eyes searching for understanding. "What about it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I realised..." you began, your voice wavering slightly as you laid bare the truth of your heart. "I realised that I've been denying myself something real. Something I've wanted for so long but was too afraid to admit."

A flicker of hope lit up in Beomgyu's eyes, a spark of understanding dawning on him as he processed your confession.

“I know you don’t feel the same way but–” you started, your voice faltering as you braced yourself for the inevitable letdown.

Beomgyu's brows furrowed slightly, his expression shifting from anticipation to concern. "Wait," he interrupted softly, reaching out to gently grasp your hands in his. "Don't assume what I feel."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, uncertainty mingling with a glimmer of hope. "But you never said..." you trailed off, unable to hide the vulnerability in your voice.

Beomgyu took a deep breath, his gaze steady as he searched for the right words. "I've been afraid," he confessed quietly. "Afraid of losing our friendship, of making things awkward between us. You may not know this but I've...loved you. For as long as I can remember. You constantly talked about Soobin. You were in love with him, for Pete's sake. I couldn't...I couldn't do that to either of you."

Your heart sank, burdened by unspoken fears and missed opportunities. "Oh," you murmured, struggling to steady your voice amidst a whirlwind of emotions. "But the girls... Look, one reason I've hesitated to tell you how much I like you is because of how different the girls you've dated are from who I am. We're...literal opposites."

"Look every girl I possibly dated, if they had at least a single common trait that you had? I’d immediate associate them with you. In my mind, there is no one BUT you." He sighed.

"And," Beomgyu interjected softly, gently squeezing your hands, "that doesn't mean I haven't thought about... about us and what might have been.""

"You have?" you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Beomgyu nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah," he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. "I've thought about what it would be like if we took that step."

Your breath caught in your throat, a mix of relief and joy flooding through you. "So... what does that mean?" you asked softly, needing to hear him say the words.

Beomgyu took a step closer, closing the gap between you until you were standing inches apart. "It means," he began, his voice tinged with both apprehension and determination, "that I like you. More than I've admitted before. In fact, Yeonjun probably has written a book about all the times I’ve called him to giggle over every interaction we’ve had.”

You couldn't help but chuckle at his admission, a wave of affection washing over you. "Really?" you teased back, your heart fluttering with newfound hope.

“So what happens now? Soobin…” Beomgyu’s voice trailed off.

“Is in the past,” you replied firmly, meeting his gaze with unwavering determination. “Whatever happened with Soobin doesn’t matter anymore. This is about us, right here, right now.”

“Bro, you are sooo in love with me.” Beomgyu teased.

"Well, maybe just a little," you admitted with a shy smile, your heart beating a little faster as you looked into his eyes.

Beomgyu's expression softened, his gaze unwavering as he reached out to gently cup your cheek. "I'm glad you're here, you know? I've wanted to say this for a while."

Your breath caught at his touch, the sincerity in his voice stirring something deep within you. "I'm glad too," you replied softly, leaning into his hand.

He hesitated for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. "I... I don't want to rush things. But I also don't want to hold back anymore."

"I understand," you nodded, your fingers lightly tracing patterns on his chest. "We'll take it one step at a time."

Beomgyu smiled, his eyes bright with affection. "One step at a time," he echoed, leaning in closer until his forehead rested against yours. "Thank you for being patient with me."

Your eyes fluttered to his lips. “I know we said slow but like…” You looked back at his lips.

Before you could finish your sentence, Beomgyu closed the remaining distance between you, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. The world seemed to fade away as his warmth enveloped you, melting any remaining hesitation. His lips moved against yours with a gentle urgency, as if every moment they weren't touching was a missed opportunity.

You responded eagerly, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened.

When you finally pulled back, breathless and flushed, Beomgyu rested his forehead against yours. His hand found yours, fingers intertwining as if to anchor you both in this shared reality.

"I'm sorry," he murmured softly, his voice tinged with emotion. "I couldn't wait any longer."

“So should we tell Yeonjun? I fear he’s probably the most excited that we finally happened.”

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his forehead still resting against yours as he considered your question. His thumb traced gentle circles on the back of your hand, a silent reassurance in his touch.

"I think Yeonjun might have guessed already," he replied with a teasing grin, his eyes opening to meet yours. "But we should definitely tell him. And the others too. They've been rooting for us, in their own unique ways."

You nodded, a smile spreading across your face at the thought of sharing your happiness with your friends. "They'll be thrilled," you agreed, squeezing his hand affectionately.

—

It’d been a day or two since the two of you confessed to one another. You wouldn’t call yourselves official but you did spend the entire two days…well let’s just say, you’d be forced to wear a turtleneck all week.

"Gyu, I swear to God, you're an idiot," you muttered under your breath as you carefully applied another layer of foundation to your neck.

"What?" Beomgyu replied, his tone teasing and smug.

You shot him a playful glare in the mirror. "You've given me the biggest hickey ever. I'm going to have to wear a turtleneck all week just to hide it."

Beomgyu chuckled, unapologetic. "I couldn't help it."

Rolling your eyes, you finished blending the makeup and turned to face him. "Well, I hope you're happy. I look like I got attacked by a vampire."

"Maybe I am a vampire," Beomgyu quipped, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek.

You swatted him away playfully. "You're lucky I like you so much."

"Well...its about time we spill the beans." Beomgyu spoke.

"What beans?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in mock suspicion.

Beomgyu's eyes twinkled with excitement. "About us, of course. I think it's time everyone knows."

"Us? I'm sorry... I don't recall you ever asking me to be... um... yours," you replied, trying to lighten the moment with a teasing tone. Beomgyu blinked, momentarily taken aback by your response. He chuckled softly, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Well, maybe I haven't formally asked yet, but... I thought we were on the same page."

You raised an eyebrow playfully. "Oh, is that so? And what page is that, exactly?"

He took a step closer, his expression earnest. "The page where we're Snow White and the prince and we live happily ever after without having to ask, 'Wanna be my girlfriend?'"

You chuckled at Beomgyu's whimsical analogy, feeling a mix of amusement and affection for his earnestness.

"Snow White and the prince, huh?" you mused, your teasing tone softening into a smile. "That's quite the fairy tale you're painting."

Beomgyu nodded, a shy smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, well... I guess I just thought... with everything between us..."

You studied his expression, seeing the vulnerability behind his playful facade. "Hey, I get it," you reassured him gently, reaching out to lightly touch his arm. "And you're right. We've been dancing around this for a while now."

He nodded again, his gaze meeting yours with a mix of hope and uncertainty. "So... does this mean...?"

You chuckled softly, feeling your heart swell with warmth. "It means I'm willing to give this fairy tale a shot," you said softly, a playful glint in your eye. "But you still owe me a proper date, somewhere that doesn’t involve us immediately having our clothes off within the first 5 minutes of the movie, prince charming."

Beomgyu's face lit up with relief and happiness, his arms instinctively pulling you into a warm embrace. "Deal," he murmured against your hair. "but maybe if you weren't so sexy I wouldn't be doing all that in the first place."

"So you're saying I should be glad?" You rolled your eyes.

—

The boys were seated across from you, their banter filling the air with a familiar comfort.

“Guys… Beomgyu and I have an announcement,” you declared, your voice slicing through their chatter.

Yeonjun glanced up first, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Oh? What’s up?"

Kai nudged him playfully. "Finally gonna admit you’re dating?"

Beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, actually..."

“NO FUCKING WAY! I TOLD YOU THOSE WERE HICKEYS AND YOU WERE LIKE… ‘no she just hurt herself with a curling iron…’” Kai yelled, his voice filled with mock indignation.

“Yes, Kai, tell the whole damn world about the hickeys on my neck,” you replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“Sorry,” Kai muttered sheepishly, realising he may have overstepped.

“I’m so glad. I’ve been tired of hearing Beomgyu complain over his unrequited crush on you for years. Like thank God, you shut this bitch up.” Yeonjun grinned.

The banter continued, laughter echoing around the table as Beomgyu blushed slightly at Kai's teasing. "Hey, it wasn't that bad," he protested weakly, shooting a playful glare at Yeonjun.

Yeonjun leaned forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So, does this mean we're finally going to get invited to a wedding?"

You chuckled, shaking your head at their antics. "Let's get through the first date without any disasters, and then we can talk about weddings."

Taehyun, ever the voice of reason, raised an eyebrow. "You mean the first date where you won't have hickeys all over your neck?"

You groaned, burying your face in your hands as the table erupted in laughter again. Beomgyu squeezed your hand under the table, his eyes filled with affection and amusement. Despite the teasing and the playful banter, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the camaraderie and support of your friends.

"Yeah, yeah," you sighed dramatically, smiling despite yourself. "Next time, I'll make sure to use a better cover story."

As the laughter subsided, Beomgyu leaned in closer to you, his voice soft and sincere. "Thank you for putting up with these idiots."

You squeezed his hand back, feeling a rush of warmth at his touch. "Anytime," you replied with a smile, knowing that with Beomgyu by your side, even the teasing and the unexpected could be turned into moments of joy and connection.

---------

Beomgyu shuffled his feet, knocking on Soobin's door. "OPEN UP, DUMBASS!"

The door swung open, revealing Soobin in a worn-out shirt. Behind Soobin stood a person Beomgyu had never seen before.

“Shit. We didn’t know you were gonna have company.” Beomgyu grinned at Soobin.

“I literally told you guys in the group chat yesterday,” Soobin rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bag of chips out of Beomgyu’s arms.

“Well, hello there.” Kai donned his infamous sheepish smile, extending a hand, “I’m Huening Kai. You can call me Huening or Kai but people usually call me handsome kid.”

“I’ll be sure to call you the latter then.” You giggled, accepting his handshake.

Beomgyu placed the bags of snacks on the table and walked over to the new person Soobin had been raving about. He finally looked over to you and... you were... well, stunning. Your eyes were deep and expressive, drawing him in, while your smile both shy and captivating.

His hands, which had already opened a bag of chips, stopped as he took a moment to appreciate her beauty before getting snapped back into reality.

“Hi.” You said, introducing yourself.

“Hi, I’m Beomgyu!” He smiled, a little nervous. His mind blanked, and he didn't know how else to continue the conversation.

The pause lingered for a heartbeat too long, making the air feel thick with anticipation. Beomgyu could feel his cheeks warming up, but he tried to keep his composure.

Soobin pulled you aside, whispering something to you before pulling you into the kitchen to prepare snacks.

"Dude, you're staring. I hope you choke on a fly." Kai chuckled.

Beomgyu snapped out of his daze and shot Kai an embarrassed look.

"Shut up."

Kai chuckled, clearly enjoying Beomgyu’s discomfort. “I’m just saying, if you keep looking at her like that, you might as well introduce yourself as ‘the guy who couldn’t stop staring.’”

Beomgyu rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “Whatever. She’s just... really pretty.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Kai teased, nudging Beomgyu with his elbow. “But don’t worry, you didn’t make it too obvious.”

“Great,” Beomgyu muttered sarcastically. “Let’s just get through tonight without me embarrassing myself further.”

Kai patted him on the back. “You’ll be fine. Just be yourself.”

As Beomgyu watched you and Soobin laughing together in the kitchen, he took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, just be myself.”

#soobin x reader #txt fic #txt oneshot #txt x reader #beomgyu x reader #txt fanfic #txt imagines #txt scenarios

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ririsasy · 6 months ago

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Bro Daddy was such a cheerful movie to watch, was curious to see what Prithvi would do teaming up with Mohanlal again for his second movie as a director after their success together with Lucifer and Prithvi really didn’t disappoint, he really has an unique style as a director, I think he was trying to proof himself and see if he could do a good rom-com and I think he definitely could! This movie was an enjoyable ride from start to finish. Prithvi said in an interview that he did this movie during pandemic and thinking about a light hearted movie to watch on streaming services with family because the time was bleak and want to bring something to laugh together with and it was clear that he also have so much fun himself directing the movie, love seeing his adorable laugh between takes. What this man couldn’t do?? That’s the real question now.

Even though the movie was so colorful and there were so many scenes to gif lol but for me the most fun part was watching the BTS (pardon the quality because they only gave that tiny footage beside the rolling credits) because when Prithvi was directing he acted and became like every character in his movie 😂

1. Acting like a cool capable savvy tech dude

2. Directing an attitude for a granny 😂

3. Became an eccentric wedding organizer lol

4. How to act cute toward your mother in law

5. And of course directing the Mohanlal, I adore all these BTS footage because Mohanlal look like he clearly adore Prithvi. These are like two strikes successful good movies they made together

No wonder Prithvi could emote so easily when he became the actor himself, he could just put his director mind and thought about what a director would want to see in this or that kind of situation from him.

And my favorite from the bts is pregnant prithviraj 😂 when he’s directing the morning sickness because well…this BTS inspired the whole new Salaar AU for me 😂🤣 (forgive me because whatever movie I watched of Prithviraj I will keep trying to connect it to Salaar somehow, so watch out for more crossover 😂)

Salaar omega verse AU headcanon below (thanks to this bro daddy BTS) 🤣 👇👇🐺🐮

Obviously it’s an mpreg. So proceed if you’re okay with it.

Salaar is so easy to see as an omegaverse because Deva's traits are inherently similar to all the feral possessive alpha traits (with never let anyone to touch Varadha or he will lost his cool and he basically from a wolf tribe like???? That’s an alpha right there) and Varadha is the omega that everyone is crazy about (seriously what’s up with everyone trying to take Varadha’s honor and touching him in humiliating and inappropriate way hands off!)

So, what if Varadha after Deva left Khansaar started showing symptoms making Baachi (okay we gonna pretend he’s alive in this AU) all confused what happened to his brother.

Deva didn't know that Varadha was pregnant with his child and it was Varadha who banished him anyway, Actually even Varadha himself didn't know that he was pregnant he only figured it out after 3 months of Deva's departure.

I will imagine that it’s the same with Prithvi character in bro daddy where he is having a hard time trying to tell the news to his parents but in Salaar AU he keeps making up excuses to Baachi about his morning sickness like it was because of the food stomach flu and everything until he runs out of excuses and Baachi figured it out eventually when his stomach started showing and Varadha just didn’t make a public appearance much anymore.

So Imagine 7 years later Deva broke the seal only to be greeted at Khansaar gate by a 7 years old kid that look like him.

It is hilarious but also sad at the same time moment like “why the hell this kid looks like me , where is his parents”

Varadha was searching for the brat (attitude close to a maniac that one he used to love) that’s been causing havoc all throughout the palace, his kid was so close of getting out of the big gate himself because he was spying on the gate to open ready to run away.

The reason why he run because he got into an argument that morning with Varadha who didn’t tell him about his mother. Varadha was like “you didn’t have a mother, I carried you myself” and his son was like “then where’s my father???? What’s his name” and Varadha refused to answer so his kid set out his heart and packed a tiny backpack throwing his clothes inside ready to explore the world searching for his dad 😂

That he immediately met at the gate! what’s the odd and he looked up at Deva, strong and big Deva full of charisma with sun rays illuminating his figure like “are you my dad?” Just as Varadha arrived behind them with his entourage.

Bilal that arrived behind Deva a moment later also didn’t know that Varadha was pregnant! He left with Deva but it’s so easy for him to put the two pictures together because well the brat look like the splitting image of deva and varadha. They didn’t need DNA test for that to know who his fathers are 😂

Varadha calling his son that he named Raju (pfft) to quickly come to his side and scold him because why would he bother a stranger like that.

Deva is like “is he?–” (Mine) he couldn’t say the word because what if he’s not? 😭😭

Deva didn’t know which one is worse, not knowing you fathered a child and not be there for him for 7 full years or Varadha already taking a queen and got married and have a son now. Both equally devastating. That’s when Baachi rushed toward him to punch Deva on his face and Deva got his answer.

Imagine if it was the last hate sex they have before the big separation that made Varadha got 🫃, I mean they start rawing the moment Deva enter Khansaar (cough the moment where Vishnu was throwing that firework at Varadha’s doorstep and Deva was waking up behind Varadha 👀 omega verse and all I imagined Deva’s presence might’ve triggered an early heat for Varadha) but since Varadha never showed any symptoms when he was around in Khansaar for a whole year so Deva made a quick calculation that the child was indeed conceived when they were tearing the house apart before they went their separate ways. 😞

Anyway that’s all I got from now lol feel free if you want to elaborate it more or continue this headcanon . I love my imaginary 7 years old boy, Raju, already.

#prithviraj sukumaran #bro daddy #bro daddy 2022 #malayalam movies #desi tumblr #desiblr #desi movies #mollywood #salaar #varadeva #salaar AU #omegaverse #hear me out #lol #mohanlal #the only thing I didn’t like about bro daddy is just Prithvi hairstyle lmao #everything else is enjoyable

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kingcons · 18 days ago

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The substance is the most upsetting movie of the year to me. Full disclosure, this isn’t any ground breaking stuff you’re about to read, just me writing down my thoughts. Most of which have probably been said before by now. But it you want to read my ramblings, here ya go:

Spoilers for the whole movie below. If you haven’t seen this movie and like extreme horror (specifically body horror) please watch it. It’s fantastic and possibly my new favorite movie.

Sue and Elizabeth both deserved a chance at happiness. That is the thing that kills me about that movie. Under all the gore and grimness and camp it’s just so fucking sad.

Anything one does to the other is just them doing it to themselves. You can try to kill the part of you that hurts or fails or is ugly or weak or older or more scarred or not as nice - but it’s part of you. You are one, as the movie says over and over. This is such a tragic movie to me.

Aging is body horror. This is partly because of societal pressures and toxic beauty standards, but it’s also a slow crawl to death. It’s watching something you need to live break down and fall apart in front of your eyes and not being able to permanently fix it. Death is an inevitability that comes for us all, but aging can be worse for some. When we die, whatever may happen to our soul or if anything even happens at all, it’ll happen whether we want it to or not. There’s nothing to fear in the inevitable, but there’s also no reason to rush what may be your only shot at existence. And if you do want to live a long filled life, you have to accept that aging is a part of it.

Elisabeth being so desperate for perfection and for her career back is a story that’s as old as time. It’s not really her fault she was pushed to use the substance, but it is her responsibility that she fully carried out making a new ‘better’ version of herself. She doesn’t really have any friends or family more than that, just a big luxury apartment with a giant picture of herself at her peak. It stares at her all the time, and it’s what she tried to be everyday. But even as Sue, suddenly that wasn’t even enough. She needed to be better and more beautiful.

It broke my heart when Elisabeth tried to kill sue despite how she ended up looking. She didn’t care anymore, she just wanted to live as pain free as she could. And it was a further tug on my heart strings when she regretted this. Because Elisabeth had accepted sue as a part of herself, and was tired of hurting that part because it was hurting her. She just wanted it to end. She just wanted things to go back to normal and they can’t and it’s all her fault and she literally has no one in the world but her and her ‘more perfect’ self for comfort. And her ‘more perfect’ self then proceeds to brutally kill her.

I know it was mostly to hurt Elisabeth’s feelings but sue’s tv interview where she made up a story of her family is also oddly sad to me. She doesn’t have that. She has memories of Elisabeth’s life, but she has defined herself as a different person now. A person who came into existence in their early to mid twenties combined with the split consciousness of what was essentially her own mother. Of course she’s fucking terrified of switching back. Not only does Elisabeth herself like Sue’s body more, but to switch would mean she’s no longer in control and it would mean having to live in a decrepit and dying body who she herself has twisted beyond recognition. Then for Sue to be almost killed by her own giver of life (herself), lash out and try to kill the part of her who is unloved, and realizing that part of her even from after death is having the last laugh almost, as she literally falls apart piece by piece on what was supposed to be a magical night just for her.

Of course, we have to talk about their final form. Monstero Elisasue. Quick side note, I honestly don’t think Sue was stupid or irresponsible for using the activator even though it warned it was for single use. I think literally anyone in her shoes would do the same thing. She was breaking down in front of her very eyes and dying in such a slow and horrible way that she was desperate to do anything to stop it - to do anything to still be beautiful. She was in a crisis both physically and mentally.

Back on track, I think there’s definitely something to be said about although this was never meant to happen, the substance still made this in an attempt to create ‘a better version of both Sue and Elisabeth’. And it IS. not physically, of course, but emotionally this is when they finally accept themselves as one person and love themselves again. It’s so sad to me because elisasue was not evil or violent, but because she looked so horrific, it didn’t matter that she was happy to the crowd. They were terrified of her and killed her. Elisasue is not a monster, despite looking like one. She’s a new being. A copy of a copy. When she says “it’s still me” it breaks my heart because she genuinely thought she’d be accepted and loved just the same but instead she was met with violence and fear. She lived for only a few hours, and in that time she was shown nothing but hatred. Because it didn’t matter that she was happy, it only mattered that she couldn’t make money anymore. That is of course reading into the symbolism, the reality of what happened showed some understandable reactions even if they weren’t kind. Being disgusted and terrified of elisasue is pretty reasonable given how she looks and just what she is. I’m not saying she’s gonna win any modeling competitions any time soon. But I am saying that she finally figured out there was more to life than looks and youth and fitness and that, right there, is what thematically gets her killed.

At the end with her on the star, I felt almost relief for the first time watching that movie. She’s genuinely happy. She doesn’t care that she’s literally just a face and some fleshy tendrils, she’s truly happy and at peace. I don’t even know if she’s aware she’s dying at that point or if she just doesn’t care. Maybe she can’t comprehend it because her new form is so different from her first one. She dies after melting into her stardom. She gave everything to her career and it gave her nothing back. But at the very end, she’s at peace. She’s finally who she wants to be without the pain of toxic beauty standards. And she just fades away, like the universe finally decided she’d suffered enough for being human.

There’s a lot I could talk about with cinematography, music, sound design, lighting and practical effects, but I’ll do that another time. This is just me talking about my thoughts on the story and characters.

I rate this movie:

9/10. The only reason it’s not 10 is because I think the origin and creation of the substance is a bit poorly explained. However, that’s such a small detail that it doesn’t offend me. Also because I HATED the nail in the elevator scene that made me cringe. But yeah, this movie fucks hard. If you think you have the stomach for it, do not miss out. It’s very hard hitting and surprisingly sad. It blends crazy body horror with tragedy quite well.

very reminiscent of the fly, Raw/grave, it follows, the thing and even somewhat doctor who (anyone remember the eleventh doctor two part episode ‘the flesh’?) Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley are phenomenally talented. I am desperate for them to do horror or drama in future, they fucking killed it. Such talent and skill. Bravo. Coralie Fargeat is a very very good director, too. This idea and execution for this movie were wild and brilliant and awful and terrible all at the same time. She’s a true artist and I hope she does a lot more fucked up things in future.

#the substance #spoilers #the substance spoilers #movie review

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3416 · 2 years ago

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1634 primer (2015-2023)

since my brain refuses to let me think about anything BUT the toronto maple leafs these days, i've decided to compile info/links/photos/videos of the dynamic on the team i personally find most compelling, charming, heartwarming, hilarious: mitch marner and auston matthews (aka 1634 aka the heart and soul of this current leafs team in my humble opinion). this will cover the beginning of their nhl careers to the end of the 22-23 season. for anything from 2023 summer onwards, here’s part 2.

i will be citing my sources, but if any info needs corrected or there are things i've missed, don't be afraid to hmu. i've only been around for a couple months so 🫡 😘 ✌️ this is going to be long-winded (almost 4k kinds of long-winded...) let's DO IT:

2015-2017 (rookie era)

in june 2015, mitch marner is drafted to his hometown team, going 1st round 4th overall in more beginnings of an effort to rebuild the leafs franchise. here are photos from that day. here's an athletic article about why they picked him that makes me cry.

in april 2016, auston matthews is drafted 1st overall and is basically deemed the savior of the toronto maple leafs from the jump. here are pics from that. (please look at the one below of auston putting on a 16 leaf jersey on draft day and tell me that wasn't fate of SOME sort... i know it's the year but. THE VIBES. the what's-to-come of it all) (here’s a sportsnet documentary on auston/his journey to the nhl).

they played against each other at the 2016 world juniors (dec 2015-jan 2016). here they are on the cover of world hockey news before they had even met... as boys to watch in the hockey world

according to mitch, the first time they actually met was when he said hi to auston in an elevator at world juniors. then mitch says the night auston was drafted, he was at a concert and everyone started an auston matthews chant that he was 100000% in on and excited about. and it was pretty early on in development days that they became instant friends. here's the vid @ ~4:21 and here's a gifset

during their very first day of training camp, auston broke a pane of glass off of a pass from mitch when they were just messing around (again.... fate). here's the vid and here's an article about it

here's them fighting each other for the puck at camp... there's something about it that makes me emotional... their tenacity as rookies...

one of the first ever hangouts recorded on social media... they went to a fair or smth august 2016 (gifs)

at first, they didn't play together very much. in fact, through a lot of the coach mike babcock era (2015-2019), they weren't linemates at all, as auston usually had willy on his right wing. (here's an article justifying that decision from babcock)

that didn't stop them from developing a lot of habits and routines together though. this whole half of a morning skate interview with mitch... "hopefully we're together for a long time and can build up some great chemistry" "that's a big part of what me and matts try to do when we drive together, just keeping it light and have fun with each other" (gifs... it kills me)

"Not only are Matthews and Mitch Marner clicking on their respective forward lines, they are having a good time in the car driving to and from practice and games."

they used to come into the the arena in the same ways on game days (watch any leafs blueprint ep from this time... they’re always getting off the bus together or walking into scotiabank together attached at the hip), went out of their way to greet the doormen and staff, sometimes showed up in matching outfits as evidenced here, here, here, and honestly.. so many more times. it’s about the coordination... the texting each other their fits.

the famous copycat hat moment (gifs).... their goofy responses and getting chirped on twitter about it by everyone and stamkos) (auston’s smile)

they started making sure they were coming out onto the ice together for warmups, always in line toward the back (still the same to this very day). here (x, x, x, x) are just a couple shots of that... they have a handshake they do on their way out (still to this day also), and i think this is the one of the first times it was recorded.

and on the rare occasion they DID get to play together... they were always the Most™ excited and cute about it. here's them talking about playing on the same line, here and here and here are some first moments of cellying that deserve to be looked at for 10000 years... just pure excitement and joy

here's mitch hopping right on into a ridiculous fight on auston's behalf. and here are their responses about it in the media afterward (cute, loyal, grateful).. and here’s auston pissed about an uncalled shove on mitch ... even though they’re not big fighters, they ARE big defenders of one another

2016 centennial classic where they were so cute (x x x x x)

there are lots of practice photos/vids and media of them around or mentioning each other obviously (like this hug at a scrimmage that kills me personally), but anther one of my favorite standout days was this practice when auston had mitch falling on the ground in laughter. gifs: "I think a lot of people don’t understand how big of a jokester he is at times. He’s always pretty serious, but that’s not his kind of personality at all" (pics)

so many bench shenanigans (literally too many to try to round up)

(what i assume is) a broadcast quote i can't seem to track down but so many ppl have used it for edits and gifs that i believe it: “They love him, clearly Auston Matthews loves him.” ... they're always saying the most ridiculous things about them as a pair

case in point.. they also said this: "Matthews and Marner together - their eyes light up […] They've been dying to play together." (basically confirmation vid here from auston.. his hopeful little smile, help)

one of the most iconic moments has to be the time the camera caught them singing 'livin' on a prayer' together on the bench and it became a whole thing in the media. here's the moment, their responses (gifs, gifs), and bon jovi's response too.

they used to play video games as a unit and basically annoy the shit out of everyone. thanks zach hyman for the confirmation: “They have this whole strategy, whenever we play. Auston sits in the back and snipes, and Mitch runs around and looks for you. They have this whole little strategy they put together. And then they laugh. They start dying laughing. They’re clowns.”

they have so many oddball social media interactions and a lot of them are probably lost to time but: here's a meme of mitch being part of both of their twitter profiles, here's some petulant mitch getting clowned on and compared to mickey mouse, here's more auston making fun of him for looking 12, “can’t be a boys week when your gfs are there...... but u look nice :)”, purp.... the joint ootd.. who was doing it like them?, “getty images”, “walking advertisement”

holding bozak’s baby together at the xmas party (gifs)

golfing, hanging out at the mall, shopping

despite their very complimentary talk of each other in media, they're also not afraid to razz each other. "he gets sensitive sometimes", "just kind of get him grinding", auston chirping mitch and the insurance ads he does, mitch making fun of his hair (pre balding era... wonder if that’s off limits now LOL)

here’s a vid of the 2016 leaf rookies at a christmas market... mitch and auston were very cute... mitch uploaded a story of them on the ferris wheel smiling their asses off too

auston recording him on his ig story here and here while they were filming this batting practice vid

here’s a goalie challenge video mitch and auston did with matt martin and barstool back in the day (”don’t take slapshots” “you took seven”)

here are some misc gifsets from this time period: x x x x x x

i'll end this section with a couple of my favorite and the most iconic game pictures from this era...

if you're curious about more stuff from the rookie days, i highly recommend checking out this initial 1634 primer from @/zoehickel, @/thiccbrock's soft bros tag, and @/mitchski's auston x mitch tag (pro tip: add "/chrono" at the end if you want to see everything chronologically).

2018-2020 (not-so-rookie era)

nothing extremely important or concrete separates this timeline but mitch and auston clearly started to grow into their roles on the team and were no longer just rookies (altho i compiled some very basic stats from wikipedia and both of them have just been crazy talented and at the top of team goals/assists/stats almost every year since they were drafted.. they’ve never really been ‘just rookies’ but )

from what i gather, early 2018 was one of the first sightings of mitch's drawings on his gloves... a habit that auston had also been into since his rookie year... mitch started doing this toward the tail end of the hardass babcock days as a reminder that hockey is supposed to be about having fun (here's a not-official-seeming article about their clashes w babcock) (here are some pics of the doodled gloves of that era)

here’s an article talking about how much mitch and auston loved playing together and tried to take advantage of it and prove to babcock they should be allowed more often (also includes goofy bts content of them sharing a fantasy football team)

babcock got fired bc of nasty coaching tactics (here’s a story on what he did to mitch as a rookie), and in came sheldon keefe, who is more mild-mannered and is willing to experiment with auston and mitch playing together so they got more time as linemates these years.

auston and mitch developed a warmup routine together before games where they stayed on the ice a bit longer than everyone else and passed the puck back and forth (here are some vids from this time period: x x x x x)

the team did a big nhl video game faceoff early 2018, and mitch was auston's #1 hype man about it: gasin him up, helping him warm up, sittin behind him making commentary, and acting like it was his own personal victory when auston won

instagram teasing for mitch’s 22nd bday... “babe !”

they participated in this ‘need for speed’ challenge video with natalie spooner and laura stacey to promote the canadian women’s hockey league... competitive dorks is all i have to say about that.

at the end of 2018, mitch and auston took part in a real production of the nutcracker as cannon dolls... and it is as absurd and amusing as it sounds. famous quotes from the event include: “he couldn’t let go of me”, “that’s what friends are for”, “mitch could just sit around and pout the whole time which he’s so used to doing”... here's the vid (gifs) (pics w ballerina) (more goofy pics) (ig story)

some cute practice pics

in 2019, apple had them film a commercial where auston just followed mitch around titled Mitch Marner Shot on iPhone by Auston Matthews... (gifs) (tumblr vid) (more gifs) just any excuse to talk about it forever... it's arguably one of the greatest things they've ever done... pov of dreams tbh. here's another snippet that didn’t make the cut of them laughing... here’s some gifs of ANOTHER snippet.. and here’s an article about auston with some quotes about how he and mitch are great friends and they were just going to “their” favorite places in toronto that day. (also THEIR favorite restaurant being sotto... the exact place mitch/steph go on very special dates apparently according to this pandemic leaf to leaf... food for thought)

another thing about auston and mitch... they WILL be forming unbreakable bonds with people on the team like it's a group activity, and the most formative for them was probably patrick marleau, who basically became their dad for the 2017-2019 seasons. they would always hang out on the road together, watch movies and go to dinner, etc etc. one time mitch n patty when on vaca without auston... ymca in the car with patty and his sons... “he’s obviously old but he acts even younger than me and mitch”... mitch and auston singing happy birthday to him... here’s a christmas party pic of them that kills me... that here's a video where they talk about their relationship... here's another long interview they did together during lockdown... here is an emotional gifset about the three of them, and below are pictures of the family unit (and one rather... interesting... see: the 3rd pic) (here are pics from 2023 when the marleaus came to a leafs game)

morgan rielly on mitch and auston: “[they] are like best friends. they’re different personalities... when you watch the dynamic with the two of them, whether it’s on the road or on a practice day, it’s pretty funny. it changes every year. it’s a unique dynamic for sure.” and him on mitch/auston/patty also

here’s mitch and auston honoring patty with an appearance from the truly wild jumbo

another case of the trio vibes would be freddie andersen, who was on the team 2016-2021. he was basically besties with auston and they spent lockdown together later, but during the 2020 all star game, all three of them attended and freddie, dedicated his goalie helmet to his best friendship w them. "you look cute?" "yeah, i look cute." ..... also here’s some pre-game high five rituals with the three

more all star content: failed attempted at a heart, the blueprint ep (gifs)

the style/clothes content continues... auston was featured in gq mag and here's mitch's giggly reaction to it. "he's a big style guy and i respect it" (gifs)

auston attended a marner assist foundation event in 2018 to support mitch's charity work (some sm pics from here and here)... also went to the marner assist invitational and got dragged for his tape job (here’s a selfie w them)

here’s some intense cellys from this era: like hello? .. SWEET PEAS... this bench moment....... whatever this was

“Marner and Matthews entered the NHL together in 2016-17 and remain good friends and road roommates now. Marner sounded genuinely enthused about his buddy’s new contract, and sent him a text once word broke Tuesday joking that they’re going to have to figure out where to be neighbours once they enter a higher tax bracket next season.” fellas.... is it gay to plan your future in the suburbs of toronto together

here they are dancing at naz kadri’s wedding ... hand check

which teammate does auston matthews like to watch the most? the answer won’t surprise you!

mitch was planning to stream and play nhl with this random streamer during lockdown and auston literally asked to join and hang... “matts, i’ll talk to you.. in like an hour probably” aka mitch is a constant texter/talker (ALSO here is a twitter thread recounting to the experience since the streams gone forever... rip 2020-2021 mitch the streamer)

here are some of my favorite pictures from this time period:

2021-present (superstar era)

they're both alternate captains, very clearly leaders of this team, and basically recognized as superstars in the league too with continued individual success. they're the last ones out on the ice at warmup still, the first ones to cheer for their teammates milestones, the last ones to give the goalies big hugs after wins. they still don’t always play together 100% of the time, but they individually enhance the players around them and have played career high years when they’re at each other’s sides.

confirmation of their warmup rituals and the fact that it's something they've been doing together, to feel good about themselves, since the very beginning ........ the same as back then .... here’s very recent vid

still doing their little handshake too, with the added bonus of a behind-the-back one too sometimes (mitch does the handshake line for the whole team by this point)

"it really seems like we're not cellying really by ourselves. we're constantly going in to hug each other. i think that just shows the amount of joy and happiness we have going for each other right now."

mitch basically assisted on a large percentage of auston's goals these past few record breaking years that they've been allowed to play together. here's a video after the 21-22 season where mitch talks about how thankful and generous auston has been.

here is a tumblr compilation about their chemistry after they've gotten to play significant stretches as linemates (literally part of the most offensively dangerous line in the 21-22 regular season).

“have you ever had this kind of chemistry with another teammate before in your life?” “no, not really”

they're so silly... so much goofy inconsequential content is out there but: mitch fighting the post that hurt matthews at practice.

here’s mitch checking on auston after he took a puck in the knee at practice

forgotten 2021 christmas vid i can’t track down but. matching mugs and whipped cream mustaches. also just look at them in THIS...

the fashion saga continues.. where here they anecdotally have the same spikey high top/low top shoes (they also have lots of random matching sneakers but i’m not knowledgeable enough to compile those)

this media day fashion trend video... where do you even start with this. “you better put some earrings in here for auston” like auston is the center of his fashion conscience. “i won’t wear one of those.. i don’t think... maybe.. we’ll see” you know DAMn well if auston recommended--- “matts has got those- he’s got a big frame”

they both wear chains with their numbers on them (recent fit pics of auston here and mitch here), and though they’re not exactly matching but the coordination, the knowing they talk about fashion and accessories... them having these chains dates back to 2018 btw

their mutual social media hype for each other's accomplishments never gets old: mitch breaking game point streak in 2022... random overtime winner in 2022... auston hitting 50 goals in 21-22 season... "@austonmatthews what an achievement. proud to be a part of this journey with you"... "congrats to my brother @austonmatthews on his historic night"... “couldn’t have done it without my boys”.... they were so extra just bc of a pic of them hugging... like sure ! ... “my fucking guy is a beast” YOUR guy?? .... mitch basically campaigning for individual awards for auston every time he scored a goal ... “well deserved my dog” “lets go baby” when he finally won them... “new range got that dawg in it”

“[auston’s] always very thankful. he’s done a couple really big thank yous for me already and given me a couple things that i’m just gonna keep between us two... he’s a great guy and obviously deserves what he got.”

in the same way they grow attached to people as a pair, michael bunting joined the team and auston and mitch's top line in 2021 and a best friendship blossomed between the trio.

they went to auston's home in arizona over the 2022 summer to "build chemistry", play golf, play tennis, and just generally hang out

they also potentially celebrated auston’s birthday there because here’s a photo of them at auston’s house with his fav chef and here’s auston with his bday cake in the same outfit ...... best friends

went to a jays game together right at the beginning of the season, this image..... a video of them chatting :’)

here is bunting talking about what it's like to get to know them

iconic bench moment between the three of them... another cutesy one

the 2022 heritage classic costumes/entry together like usual, plus the new trio, plus practice pic

their 2022-2023 gloves where they are still drawing cute little doodles of hearts and dog initials and smileys to remind themselves to have fun

"i think the sky's the limit for [mitch]. i think he's just unbelievable. i love playing with him. i think after he came back, he was probably the best player in the world for the rest of the year. he's incredible to be out there with and watch."

commentators weighing in on their joint legacy and saying “they’re magic out there together. they are what they are because of each other”

here are some more quotes about their impact on the franchise and the way their names are basically cemented in history... the modern day odd couple, they say

for auston’s birthday in sep 2022, mitch commissioned a drawing of auston and his dog felix as a gift

speaking of their dogs..... this goofy insta story

auston feeding mitch a golf club at a charity event? or are they using it as a mic... who can dissect their weird antics

the blueprint episode about mitch has some cute bg stuff of them (gifs), as well as one of my fave little head bonks here

some cellys/bench moments these years too bc they don’t stop: big squeeze... he just lauched himself... i just love them... arms wide open... mitch is a cartoon character... what in the hell is THIS... iconic moment ... 22-23 season cellys so far.... this riveting convo

“all of this doesn‘t really happen without him.” okay another unverifiable quote but like. look at those images and tell me it’s not something he’d say... you can‘t

auston asked about mitch trade rumors: "Mitch is an unbelievable player, he's an unbelievable teammate. In this room, everybody loves Mitch; everybody loves everybody. We really have a tight bond. All the noise coming from the outside, you guys have fun with that."

i’m getting derailed here bc half of these moments are not that significant but i fucking love these pics of yappy auston... like of course he’s talkin to mitch

plenty of ribbing is still going on.... or at least attempts: “those are loud flip flops”... though we have transitioned into blatant confirmation that auston can and will be bossed around by mitch when he says stuff like “mitch will assault me if i don’t pick him [to bring with me to a desert island], but i’d like to have him there too”

team bonding at a lake house but you only tag mitch? that vs the history of mitch complaining about not being included...

the importance of the content we received on the 2021 media day cannot be overstated. here’s 5 questions with auston and mitch, yearbook superlatives, career day (images: x x x), and then 2022′s who’s more likely? (all must-sees, i promise... even confirm themselves as the best bromance... if i spent too long on any single revelations this post would be 500k words more)

also the 2021 leafs call out video and the 2022 leafs call out video absolutely showcase how annoyingly endearing they are about each other... whether they’re trying to harp on one another or give genuine compliments... amazing that a dynamic can be captured so clearly when they’re not even in the room at the same time

“mitchelly marner, i’m grateful for my guy” (gifs) (the new nickname... the incessant use of my guy... mental breakdown inducing)

in november 2022, mitch tied a franchise point streak record (with a very valiant effort from the whole team to get him an empty net goal in the final 2 minutes, i might add) and auston was the first one to scoop him up in celebration and then (where he’s normally :| in media these days) was very :D and proud about it and him afterwards. “i’m so happy he got it” (mitch went on to set the new record at 23 games)

and as for extremely recent, both auston and mitch hit their 500 career points mark within a week of each other (1/3/23 and 1/7/23). here are screencaps, gifs of mitch getting to hit 500 with auston on the ice.. then auston collected the puck and pretending to throw it over the glass and prompting the broadcasters to say: “they’ve celebrated so many milestones together”

here are some teammates and coaches talking about their chemistry together and the fact that they push each other to be better players and enjoy it (tumblr vid)

there’s them being hype about the fact that they were SUPPOSED to go the 2023 all star game together on instagram (auston didn’t end up going bc of injury)

here’s a 2023 athletic article about how different they are in personality but how clear their leadership and friendship is (the athletic... tumblr)

mike johnson went on a podcast pre 22-23 playoffs and said “they like playing here, they like playing with each other, they care about each other, they want to have sex– success together” .... the freudian slip

toward the end of the 22-23 season, mitch was nearing 100 points (never made it) BUT they kept showing this graphic about how mitch has assisted on 99 of auston’s career 299 goals up to that game (ALL DESPITE THEM NOT PLAYING REGULARLY TOGETHER TIL A COUPLE YRS IN)

mitch being asked if he prefers to drive his own line or play with auston... he says it’s always fun and special to play with auston bc of their chemistry and the way they're not afraid to “give it to each other” about where they need to improve. “that’s the kind of friendship and teammate you want. that’s something we’ve built a bond over” (vid) (gifs)

mitch marner got married on july 29th 2023, and auston came back to canada (after skipping OTHER weddings like his “favorite teammate” alex kerfoot and ex teammate tyson barrie) to be in attendance :’) here’s a video of him watching mitch n steph dance there way into the reception, here’s a picture nazem kadri generously posted, here’s a pic of him with mitch and willy, here’s gifs of mitch and auston singing shirtless at the reception, and most 👀 of them all... here’s a pic of auston watching mitch and steph’s first dance. ..

here are some of my favorite more current pics of them

i also gif or post pretty much every 1634 moment from current leafs content/games, so you can check out my hockeyedit tag for some goofy bench or ice shenanigans that didn't make the cut. or my 1634 tag in general.

TL;DR

mitch marner and auston matthews were basically drafted to the maple leafs to be two of the faces of the franchise, and they share a similar burden in that with the leafs lack of playoff success thus far being leaders on the team. they’ve accomplished so many records at an individual level in tandem because of their talents and their chemistry on the ice, and they play their best and happiest hockey when they’re allowed to play together. despite different backgrounds and personalities, they’ve developed an extremely charming relationship off the ice, one built from years and years of intense mutual support, playful teasing, and a shared vision for the team. they seem to be so much more outwardly excited for each other’s successes; it becomes so easy to root for them...... regardless of what the future holds for the current maple leafs team, the two of them have done enough to have their names in the hockey history books, and we are all so lucky that there’s much more ahead of them and that we get to WATCH.

if a single person made it this far, i love you, lol. i personally will never be getting over them and am always looking for more content or unseen stuff so lmk if i missed something crucial. edit (6/18/23): if you’re looking for more pictures of them, i have removed watermarks of 95% of their images together on getty and organized them by tags on this blog @1634archive if you’d like to peruse!

hopefully some people get some sort of joy out of this like i have in compiling it all!! cheers to much much more 1634 in the future too. ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

last updated: 9/12/23

#toronto maple leafs #leafs #1634 #mitch marner #auston matthews #hockeycomp #iidk what to call this KLFJSDKL #1634 PRIMER #AnYWAY.. SInCE THE LEAFS LOST ABYSMALLY ... LETS GO #Eplease SOMEOn EnJOY THIS. i beg.#also im officially using this to summon a 583416 return #hockey

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