#do not look at the shoes I don't know what to do about them >:(

[iamthatonefangirl]

So I’m not completely sure how requests work but I NEED a fic where the reader like gets into an argument with the winter soldier about something small or big like how he never opens up to her (whatever you prefer) and then some HATE sex after (not really hate just frustrated yk)

disconnect - nsfw winter soldier

I received a few asks that inspired me to develop a story combining them. this is my interpretation of them.

pre-established relationship. if you're new here, there's a mention of a prior event.

disclaimer: fully consensual by both parties although not explicitly stated. dark/sad themes, similar to depictions of depression. read at your own discretion.

~~~

it's stupid, really.

the mud boot tracks all over the entryway when you get home. the huge disaster area the kitchen is.

is it really that difficult to not leave a mess everywhere?

you make your way to the bedroom and drop your bag somewhere on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed to chuck off your shoes and jacket.

you sit there for a moment, head buried in your hands.

the weight of your situation gets to you more often than not. a lot of those thoughts in your head go unsaid for a number of reasons, particularly because he doesn't have the emotional capacity to care, in your opinion.

is this really the life you thought you'd end up living?

if you wanted to quit working, you could. he brings in more than plenty.

and you'd never have to worry about being sexually frustrated a day in your life.

is that really the sum total of your relationship?

you let out a sigh.

you feel stuck.

~~~

he comes into the bedroom ten minutes later, fresh out of the shower, covered in water from head to toe minus the towel wrapped around his waist.

he goes straight for the bed, lying down on the fresh sheets, soaking them.

"seriously?" you ask, looking up at him, exasperated at this point.

he tilts his head in your direction and gives you a blank stare as though he has no clue what you're talking about.

you take a deep breath and shove down your anger. he's been gone for a week, cut him some slack, you tell yourself.

"everything go okay?" you ask.

you don't want to know the gory details, and he wouldn't tell you, anyways. his face contorts, giving you a disgusted look as though you're crazy for even asking.

he proceeds to shove his hands behind his head, closing his eyes to get some rest.

another deep breath.

"are you hungry?" you offer. the mess in the kitchen tells you that he's not, but you're seriously trying here.

he lets out a low grunt, which you take to mean 'no.'

"can you stay awake for five minutes to fucking talk to me?" you say, anger rising in your chest as you struggle to keep your head straight.

"not talking to you about work," he grumbles, not even opening his eyes.

"clearly, you're not talking to me at all! fuck, I mean, when do you ever?" you yell, standing and walking over to the side of the bed next to where he's laying.

in your anger, you grab his arm and roughly yank it out from under his head, surprising him. his eyes shoot open and he glares up at you as though you've just personally offended him.

"you never fucking talk to me! I- I don't even know if you like me! it's like you just live in my apartment so you can fuck me whenever you want!" you yell at him. your emotions are getting the better of you, your insecurities and your anger twisting in your head. you're completely helpless to stop your mouth from speaking them into reality.

not a word in response. his face is completely devoid of any emotion.

"I don't even know why I expect anything different from you," you scoff. "you're a heartless motherfucker. you don't even care about me."

you feel so empty inside. all the sacrifices you've made, all the times you've cried over the fact that you can't just be normal, all because of what he does for a living, who he is.

all while having to stomach the nausea of simply knowing why you have to keep him a secret.

it's too much to deal with anymore.

he watches as you drag an empty duffel bag out of the closet and begin throwing various items of clothing inside it. it takes a few moments, but it finally clicks in his head: you're leaving. and he doesn't know when, or if, you'll be back.

he stands, grabbing your arm as carefully as he can, stopping you from continuing to pack. "no. stay," he tells you. he sounds so calm, his voice is void of its usual sternness.

he's only calm because he's panicking inside.

you take his calm demeanor to mean that he genuinely does not give a fuck.

"get off me. I'm leaving," you tell him, pulling your arm away from his grasp. that's all you can say, because that's all you know right now. you have no plans for where you're going or when you're coming back.

if you're coming back.

you shove a few more things in your bag as your eyes tear up.

what has your life come to?

~~~

the door slams behind you on your way out, shaking the whole apartment. eerie silence follows.

no sounds of pans clattering in the kitchen. no music blaring while you shower. no keyboard clicking while you work. no more of your laughing as you watch videos on your phone.

no more you.

all there is is dead silence.

he used to live in the silence. he took comfort in it; he'd be able to hear a threat coming from a mile away as long as he lived in the silence. it was his way of protection, his entire way of life.

it doesn't have that comforting effect anymore.

because now?

he's alone.

now, alone, in the silence he once reveled in, he roams the apartment in contemplation. he sees everything he didn't see before.

the mess he left everywhere, destroying the effort you put in every day to keep a tidy home.

but more importantly? he sees the disconnect. the stark contrast between your carefulness and his tendency to act as a bull in a china shop opens his eyes to reality.

he always saw you as a team.

but now?

he realizes that you're not.

you're normal. he isn't.

he never could be.

~~~

your best bet for now is to go to a friend's place, you think. you sob your eyes out as you sit in the driver's seat of your car, and you come up with a lie that's at least semi-believable.

you take a few deep breaths as you click her contact on speed-dial.

"hey, so you'll never believe my luck," you begin, trying to hide your sniffling from the microphone. "my building is infested with rats. I don't know how long it'll be until they've dealt with it. at least a week, probably. do you think I could spend a few nights at your place?"

your voice is choppy as you speak, and it's clear you've been crying, but she doesn't question it. she gives you the 'okay' to come over, and you hang up quickly before the tears start again.

that's how you end up sleeping on her couch that night, sobbing silently into your hoodie as you try to determine what the hell you're supposed to do now.

for so long, you've put up with his bullshit, kept his secret, kept your mouth shut, all for one reason: you love him.

but he's not capable of loving anyone.

~~~

for a while, the feeling of isolation doesn't bother him. all he feels is indifference.

yet as he finally cleans up after himself, the ache in his chest begins. he almost wonders if he's having a heart attack; he's never felt this before.

yes, he has.

he freezes in place, the memory coming to him. he injured you, once, purely by accident. that's when he's felt this helplessness, this emptiness, this deep-seated pain in his chest.

guilt?

he's not sure.

he kneels on the cold hard tile of the entryway, not bothering to put on longer pants or a towel to protect his knees as he wipes up the mud he tracked inside. he doesn't deserve that comfort.

he lays in bed alone that night, mind empty. sleep never finds him.

the following morning, before the sun has risen, he makes a decision.

he opens his bank account and navigates to the most recent transfer, forwarding it back to the sender with one message: deal's off. busy.

~~~

the next morning, you wake up, still feeling terribly nauseous. you look in the bathroom mirror to find your eyes are puffy and bloodshot from crying.

you never should've gotten involved with a cold-hearted killer.

every bone in your body is saying to leave. get out of New York, quit your job, leave him and this whole life behind.

instead, you make a cup of coffee and force some yogurt down your throat before going to work.

you're up early, and don't care to deal with the traffic driving further into the city, so you might as well take the train.

~~~

he has absolutely no clue where you are.

he knows none of the addresses of your friends where you might have gone, not even a single one of their names.

if you didn't have to work, he wouldn't even be sure that you were still in the state.

work.

he doesn't even know the address of your workplace. he has a vague sense of the name of the company, how hard can it be to find?

so that's where he starts.

he camps out down a side street near your office, giving him a narrow field of vision to the entrance while staying hidden. it's the end of the workday, you should be coming out soon.

normally, scouting out a target is easy. he takes a short amount of time to watch them, determine their routines, and find the best course of action to take them out in the most efficient way possible.

there's always a plan, an end goal there. here?

he has no plan. there is no end goal.

for now, he needs to know where you're staying. so he watches and waits for you to come out of the one place where he can count on being able to find you.

he's not prepared for the pang of some unfamiliar emotion that he feels when he sees you come out of the building. you look exhausted; clearly, you didn't sleep last night, same as him.

you still look perfect.

he assumes you're heading to the parking lot, and he realizes he didn't think this far ahead. he doesn't have a fucking car, how is he supposed to follow you to find out where you're going?

he would never make this kind of bullshit mistake on a job.

he's scanning the area, trying to find the most inconspicuous car he can find that he thinks he might be able to hotwire-

you walk right past the parking lot.

he begins to trail you from across the street, mind working through all the possible answers as to where you're going. for now, his focus is keeping his eyes on you at all times.

he refuses to acknowledge the way his chest hurts even more as he follows you down the street and into the train station.

he hates when you take the train, hence why you always drive. to him, the train isn't safe. there's too many variables, too many things could go wrong. today, though, it works to his advantage.

all he can do for now is get on the train car behind you and wait to see where you get off at.

~~~

you're so tired, it's probably for the best you didn't drive today, lest you wanted to accidentally total your car by falling asleep at the wheel.

you want nothing more than to go home to him.

you don't. you get off the train and walk into the first bar you see.

it's after the workday, just past 6pm on a Tuesday, so it's packed, full of both blue- and white-collar workers in need of a drink.

you sit at the bar with the rest of the men as you all contemplate your life choices. you drink way too much, consuming more alcohol than is safe for you to have in your system while walking back.

oh well.

as you walk in the darkness, your head feels heavy, your body warm from the alcohol. you're being reckless, you know you are.

you don't have it in you to care. you feel like your entire life is being ripped apart at the seams, and it's all your fault. you're aware of the reality; you shouldn't ask for more than he can give. that's not fair to him.

no. this isn't fair to you.

~~~

he hates every fucking second of this. you're acting stupid, putting yourself in danger, getting drunk in public while operating under the assumption that you're all alone on these dark streets.

is this how you feel every day? do you feel alone even when he's there?

is he nothing more than a nuisance to you, a reminder of all your fears and all your lost dreams rolled into one?

at least he knows he's there to protect you.

to him, you were his savior.

but to you, he's nothing more than a ball and chain around your ankle.

his chest grows even tighter.

once you get inside the place you're apparently staying at, he relaxes somewhat. you're inside, you're safe.

that means nothing to him. to him, you're only safe within the confines of your own home. you're only safe when you're with him.

does he make you feel unsafe?

he finds another dark alley to hole up in. he's not going anywhere, not going home, not sleeping until you've got this figured out.

~~~

days go by. he learns your friend's schedule, learns the area, learns that you're drinking every day after work.

he knows he doesn't have the right to approach you. he'd lose you for good if he did, he thinks.

except on the fourth day of you being gone, after all these sleepless nights of him sitting on the cold, hard ground, you don't go into work. he watches your friend leave, but not you.

something's wrong.

in the back of his head, he hears your voice from your fight, if he could even call it a fight, saying,

"I don't even know if you like me!"

"you don't even care about me."

the words float around his mind, amplifying the tightness in his chest by 100 times.

that's it. he's done waiting, done watching you like you're a target, done pretending like you're both not miserable. he's done pretending he doesn't care.

~~~

you don't go into work on Friday.

you've spent all week ignoring your problems, ignoring the nausea in your stomach, drinking so much alcohol that you're lucky you don't pass out in the street, alone.

it's time to make a decision.

you don't get up from the couch until mid-morning, getting up to take a shower before heading to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

as you finish preparing your drink, staring down into the mug, you think you hear something in the distance. but the noise is so faint, you attribute it to your lack of sleep and food. you're fine, there's nothing there.

you hear it again, louder this time, and you turn towards where you hear the noise coming from-

from behind you, a hand slips over your mouth, and an arm wraps itself around your waist. you're about to panic when you hear the figure speak,

"it's me."

you let yourself relax against him. he scared the absolute shit out of you, making you fear for your fucking life, but you don't care. he's here.

but then your anger returns with a vengeance.

you put all your weight into throwing yourself forward, out of his grasp, and he lets go.

"how dare you!" is the first thing you say, and then you turn to face him.

woah.

if you thought you looked like shit from lack of sleep, it was nothing compared to how he looked.

you pause your yelling at him for a moment to take in the fact that he looks so tired he might be ready to collapse, that he looks like he hasn't showered or eaten in days.

you push past your worry and begin again, your anger boiling over as you continue yelling.

"how do you know I'm here? have you been fucking following me?"

he forces himself to speak.

"yes."

you scoff. of course he has.

"I'm not a child! I'm a fully grown adult, James!" you yell.

"then why the hell have you been acting like you're a goddamn child?" he yells back.

you've never heard him raise his voice like this before.

"you could have gotten yourself killed. you're lucky I was there. you did everything wrong, against how I taught you to keep yourself safe!"

your entire body is vibrating with the range of emotions you feel right now. you're so pissed off at him, but you've finally gotten him to speak to you. you hate that he's been watching you like his prey all week, but it means that maybe, in his eyes, you're worth losing sleep over.

you both stand there for a minute as you delay responding. your hair is soaking through your pajama shirt, which you realize as you stand there, is one of his t-shirts. your coffee is spilled everywhere from when he startled you, the mug flipped on its side on the counter.

you try to gather your thoughts to respond. you end up coming back to the one thing that you haven't been able to forget about all week, the one thing that breaks your heart more than any of it.

"you didn't even fight for me," you say quietly. you do everything in your power to take deep breaths, blinking your eyes quickly to stop the tears in their wake. "you didn't even fight for me to stay. you just let me go."

you give him the benefit of the doubt when he doesn't respond immediately. you know he needs to gather his thoughts.

you wipe your eyes a few times, listening to the silence, just praying that you mean enough to him that he'll respond.

"I'll never make that mistake again."

you've missed him so much, even in your rage and despair, that those words are all the reassurance you need to hear from him. he steps closer to you, slowly, waiting for your permission to approach.

you take in his appearance once more. he clearly hasn't eaten or slept in days, and he looks dirty. you connect the dots in your head: he hasn't even gone home, hasn't left your side once all week.

the idea of him following you all week pissed you off only minutes before. but now?

your tears spill from your eyes as you wrap your arms around his neck, embracing him as though he's your entire world.

he's never felt as relieved as he does when you cling to him. the aching in his chest finally begins to dissipate for the first time in a week.

you may be in some random apartment, but he's finally home.

he wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up. you get the hint and wrap your legs around his hips, holding onto him as he walks you over to the couch you've spent the last few days crying on.

he lays you down and begins to peel his shirt from your body, revealing every inch of your beautiful skin to him.

he knows has to show you how sorry he is, the only way he knows how.

he adjusts your positioning so you're sitting face forward on the couch, legs dangling over the edge, and he spreads your thighs as he gets to his knees in front of you.

it about takes your breath away.

this man, who is so possessive over you, so afraid of showing even a sliver of weakness or vulnerability, so against the idea of giving up any form of power, is on his knees for you in apology.

you know this isn't easy for him. this is the biggest display of trust you think you've ever seen from him, and your fears about not meaning anything to him begin to disappear.

you're the most important thing in his life. he wishes he had the words to tell you that.

he wraps his hands around the back of your knees, bringing you closer to him, and he pushes his tongue between your legs so softly.

his mouth is wet, and warm, and he hasn't eaten in days, but he'd rather you be the only thing he tastes for the rest of his life, anyways.

a few more involuntary tears spill from your eyes as he laves his tongue over you. you feel so sensitive, the combination of lacking his touch for so long and the emotion behind his actions is making you so much more conscious of his every movement.

he buries his tongue in you over and over again like it's his only mission in life.

he feels the entire lower half of his face, having gone unshaved for the last week, is soaked, covered in you. he hopes he leaves you with a mild rug burn between your thighs so you feel him for days afterwards.

you're so perceptive to his every move, you feel it distinctly when he begins to trace shapes over your clit.

A, E, S is all you make out.

James.

he's writing his name on your skin with his tongue.

you let out a whimper when you realize it, and your gentle hold on the back of his head tightens, pulling his face closer against your cunt.

"James," you whisper as he begins to work you faster, "please."

that's all it takes for him to push you over the edge. your thighs close on either side of his head, and he can mostly hear the way you whine his name as you come for him.

you barely have a second to relax your muscles before he's crowding you on the couch, repositioning you so you're laying underneath him.

his mouth begins to attack your neck, your rules against him putting hickeys on your neck be damned. and you gladly let him, you don't care right now.

he takes no time at all to shove the fabric of his pants out of the way, wrapping your legs around his hips once more, pushing himself down into you.

"fuck," you whisper at the stretch.

he continues his assault on your neck, marking you up and down all the way to your breasts, anywhere he can reach.

he bites back a groan every time you moan so perfectly, filling his ears, repeating his name every few thrusts.

but there's still something in the back of his head he needs you to know.

he doesn't stop, doesn't quit fucking you so beautifully as he brings his mouth to your ear.

"of course I like you," he admits so quietly, and his tone makes it sound like it's the most obvious thing in the world. you're brought back to the other night when you expressed your deepest vulnerabilities to him, and now, he's making up for what he should have told you then. "and of course I care about you."

you clutch him against you as tight as humanly possible until you're both letting yourselves go, feeling the comforting warmth as he releases inside you.

his body gives out, collapsing on top of you, exhausted from the physical and emotional toll of the week.

you finally feel tired too, more so than you have all week. it's as though your body is finally poised to truly rest now that he's with you again.

you can't sleep yet.

"take me home, James," you whisper, and he doesn't hesitate.

~~~

(guys as I'm writing this I'm about to cry)

yeah so I think I spent about six hours on this total y'all

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[allthingsfangirl101]

Look At His Face – Tyler Owens

Tyler's POV

"Thank you," I smiled as I took the keys from the girl behind the front desk. I turned around and instantly bumped into a beautiful girl my age.

"Sorry about that, darling."

"No worries, cowboy."

"Cowboy?" I asked.

She laughed as she reached up and tapped my hat. "Point taken," I chuckled. "So what brings you to Oklahoma?"

"Just passing through," she shrugged.

"Yeah? What's your final destination?" I asked, to keep her talking to me.

"New York."

"The big city," I smirked.

"You got something against cities, small town boy?"

"It's based on what you're used to," I shrugged as I put my hands in my back pockets.

"That it is," she chuckled as she walked by me. When she passed, I got a whiff of vanilla and strawberry. She talked to the girl at the front desk and got her room key. I wanted to stay to catch her name, but Boone called me over.

"Tyler! Where are you at?"

"Coming," I yelled over my shoulder. The girl looked over her shoulder and smiled at me. "It was nice to bump into you," I teased.

"Maybe we'll bump into each other again," she paused before adding, "Tyler."

I watched her as she grabbed her key and walked out. Right as she got to the door, she turned around and said, "Let me guess, cowboy. You were surprised to see the cells to the west choke each other out, weren't you?"

My mind was still trying to connect the dots as she walked out. I cleared my throat, forcing myself to snap out of it. As I walked back to my group, I kept looking back at the check-in office.

"What's with you?" Lily asked when I joined them.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I handed out the room keys.

"Yeah," Dex smirked. "You walked over here with this. . . look on your face."

"In fact," Boone elongated, "you walked out of the office with this cheeky smirk on your face." We all jumped when he gasped loudly. "You met a girl!"

"No, I didn't," I instantly pushed off. I walked past them and headed to the truck. I grabbed my bag and headed up to my room. I kept the door open like I usually do as I got myself settled. I walked out of the bathroom to see Boone sitting on my bed.

"Last I checked," I sighed, leaning against the small fridge, "I got you your own room, Boone."

"Tell me about her."

"Who?" I stuttered, trying to brush this off.

"The girl you met in the office earlier," Boone explained. "Who is she?"

I sighed and looked away. I turned my focus to my shoes as I slowly answered him. "I don't know, to be honest."

"How the hell do you not know?" Boone laughed.

"I didn't get her name," I sighed. "I turned around after checking in and instantly bumped into her. We talked for thirty seconds before you called me over."

"Sorry about that," he smirked.

"About what?"

Boone walked past me as he left my room. As he passed, he patted me on the back and laughed, "Sorry about taking you from that girl."

* * * * *

A few hours later, the little gathering was a full-on party in the parking lot. People were drinking, playing music, and exchanging stories. I was drinking a lot slower than the rest of my team.

I lifted my second beer to my lips and instantly froze when I saw Y/N leave her room. She walked out and leaned against the railing. When her eyes landed on me, she smirked and slowly lifted her hand and waved.

I forced myself to tear my eyes away from her as she walked downstairs and joined the party. Every once in a while, I found myself searching the crowd for her. She seemed to talk to everyone here.

My group was exchanging "war stories" as I was on top of the truck fixing some of our systems that got taken out by that last storm.

"Yeah," Boone was laughing. "We did it."

"Here we go, now we gotta top it," Dani smirked. Out of the corner of my eyes, I caught Y/N heading up to her room.

"City girl," I called out to her. My team laughed.

"The cells to the west will choke each other out," I restated what she said to me in the office. "That's what you said."

"I did," she shrugged. "My guess is even the one to the east didn't throw you off the scent."

"Hey," Boone defended me before I could stop him, "that's what makes Tyler famous."

"You mean on YouTube?" She smirked.

"Uh, yeah," Boone chuckled. "Yeah, we're on the YouTube. We got what? About a million subscribers now, huh?"

"Yes, sir!" Lily laughed as she pointed at him, but kept fiddling with her latest project.

"What's your name?" Ben asked her. "Just in case I include you in my piece."

"Y/N," she said, glancing at me.

"Surname?" Ben pushed.

"Just Y/N," she instantly responded. My chest felt weird when I noticed her slightly shift.

"She's a tricky one," I tried to tease to get her to relax.

"Actually," Boone said, sending me a look over his shoulder before continuing, "you made a good call with what you told Tyler earlier. The other cell looked stronger, but cap never broke."

"What's a cap?" Ben asked.

"It's a temperature inversion in the mid part of the lower atmosphere," Y/N explained. "It inhibits a storm from forming."

She looked past Ben, her eyes instantly landing on me. Whatever expression I had on my face made Y/N's face turn light pink.

"Right," Ben said slowly. "Okay. Good."

"Where did you guys all meet?" She asked, her eyes scanning the group. "Did you study meteorology at the U of A?"

Y/N's facial expression dropped as everyone started laughing. When she looked at me, I sent her an apologetic smile and a small shrug. I went back to fixing our truck as they continued talking.

"All right, Y/N, me?" Boone started. "You know, I just flow with the wind. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I never went to, like, school or nothing. But Tyler? Tyler studied meteorology, though."

"You did?" She asked, glancing at me.

"Yeah," Boone answered for me. "He's a real cowboy scientist. He's got this natural instinct."

"Okay, Boone," I sighed.

"He taught me everything I know so. . ."

"Boone," I cut him off. I slightly cleared my throat before looking over at Y/N.

"My crew's not like most crews, Y/N. We don't need PhDs and fancy gadgets to do what we do. I guarantee you these guys have seen more tornadoes than anyone else in this lot combined."

"Is that right?" She smirked.

"Do you think there's a chance we'll see one tomorrow?" Ben asked Y/N.

"Oh yeah," Boone answered for her. "Outbreak, baby."

I rolled my eyes when he yipped. I looked over at Y/N and said, "You know, if you can keep up, we'll put you in the episode."

"Wow," she sarcastically laughed.

"Do you chase?" Ben asked.

"No," she said, but there was something in her eyes that said there was more to that simple answer than we thought. "I used to."

"Used to?" Ben asked.

"Things happen," Y/N tried to shrug off.

"What kind of. . ." I crushed my empty beer can and tossed it at him, cutting him off. When he looked up at me, I shook my head.

"If you were still chasing, where would you chase tomorrow?" Lily asked, helping Y/N by changing the subject.

"Oh no. No, no, no. You see, Y/N's from New York," I teased. "Can't trust a thing she says."

"Well, you can always trust a guy who puts his face on a t-shirt." She sent me a wink and walked up to her motel room. I couldn't help but follow her with my eyes.

"Man," Boone laughed. "Man, that was good."

"Awwww," Lily cooed. "Look at his face!"

"Shut up," I said, instantly putting on a glare and turning away from Y/N. I walked past my team, hoping my face wasn't as red as it felt.

Luckily, my friends let it drop. Or so I thought.

I jumped off the truck and put my toolbox in the back. When I shut the truck door, Lily was standing there.

"What?" I asked.

"You were starstruck," she teased.

"What are you talking about?"

"Y/N," she said slowly.

"What about her?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"You like her," she smirked.

"She was. . . I mean, she seems cool," I stuttered.

"You should go talk to her," she said, teasingly pushing me. "Invite her back down here. Or, better yet, invite her to walk around that nearby park."

"We're in the middle of chasing," I brushed off. I tried to walk away, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Ty," she said gently, "you never let anyone in."

"What are you talking about?" I challenged. "I let people in. I talk to you guys all the time.

"That's not the same, and you know it," she sighed. "Whenever we run into a girl you're interested in, which is rarely, you have one conversation with her and then instantly push her away."

"I do not," I scoffed. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me in a way that made it clear that she knew I was lying. "Fine," I gave in. "But it doesn't matter, alright? I can't date right now. I need to be focused so I can bring you all back alive. I need to be focused on chasing."

"You know, Ty," she sighed, "there is such a thing as too focused. Especially when it's on the wrong thing."

* * * * *

I looked around to see my team officially too drunk to realize I was gone. I grabbed two beers and snuck up to the second floor of the motel. It wasn't until I knocked on her door that I realized how creepy this was.

Right as I was about to leave, she opened her door. "Tyler?"

"Hi," I said, sounding a lot more insecure than I had wished.

"What can I do for you?" She asked with a small smirk on her face. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorway.

"I thought you'd like a drink," I shrugged as I showed her the beers I'd brought. My stomach dropped when her smirk fell.

"I don't drink," she admitted. "But I could go for some pizza."

"On it."

This time, when I returned to Y/N's motel room, I didn't hesitate. I walked right up to the door and knocked. She soon opened the door, a small chuckle left her lips.

"You're back."

She laughed when I showed her the pizza. I ignored the feeling in my gut when she stepped aside and smirked at me. I sent her a wink as I walked into her motel room. As I sat across from her and we ate the pizza, I realized this would be the scariest thing I've ever chased.

[littlerequiem]

LEVI/F!READER/ERWIN | ROYALTY AU | P. 2 OF 2

Having had enough of your father pushing suitor after suitor on you, you make a vow: before the night is over, you will experience pleasure on your own terms. But as the saying goes, forbidden fruit is the sweetest—and no fruit is more tempting than the one your two knights have to offer.

> Crossposted on AO3

𝐏𝐀𝐈����𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Levi Ackerman / Female Reader / Erwin Smith (Attack on Titan)

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 - Rated Explicit (18+) - Royalty AU, Inspired by HOTD, Threesome, First Time, Oral (f.receiving), Fingering, Smut and Fluff, Vaginal Sex, Aftercare, Swearing, Hurt/Comfort (WC: 6.6k)

( Previous part )

You stand there, looking at them.

Or is it them looking at you? 

Awash in tender light, on the precipice of something rare and uncharted, it's hard to think. Because you are here, but not as you once before. Your lips still taste Erwin’s lips; your waist still bears Levi's grip. The air vibrates with what was shared, a charged current that sees you not as princess or guard, but as equal conspirators in this evening.

You’re the first to break this estranged silence. It starts with a step forward, then another. You reach for Levi's shirt first, knowing that Erwin is next in your little game. 

Levi's hand stops you short.

"Princess."

An intensity falls across Levi's features then; a scowl forms on yours. Without saying a word, he tilts his head sideways, cocking it like he was assessing you. His hands fall on your waist. Before you know it, you're being whirled around, and the air is taken out of your lungs as you fall onto your bed. 

"What the devil are you—" you protest.   

But Levi interrupts you with a grunt. He bends down and grabs your chin, leveling your gaze with his own.  

"That isn't how this works, Princess. Tonight is about you. Tonight, your pleasure is ours." You gape a little. His eyes darken, making your insides twist with teetering excitement. "You wished for that, didn't you? To know what sodding pleasure is?"

The reminder of your confession makes you feel warm all over. You gulp, the knot bobbing against Levi's thumb, and your eyes stray to Erwin.

"Typical, looking at him for reassurance." Levi slides away, kneeling on one knee. He begins to unlace your boots. "What did I tell you, Erwin?"

The mattress shifts; Erwin has found his spot close to you. His calloused fingers stroke the valley of your cheek, an offer of tenderness in the midst of all this tension. "Oh, I don't know, Levi. You didn't see the way she was looking at you just now. Properly besotted, I think." He leans closer, his breath fanning over the ridge of your nose. "Aren't you besotted, beloved?"

Erwin's newfound nickname for you, beloved, turns your insides to mush. You manage a nod well enough, but your brain blanks. 

"You'll let us treat you right, won't you?" Erwin asks. His cologne—musky and vibrant—are all you can smell. "To show you the meaning of pleasure?" 

Your eyes flutter, breath caught in the middle of your chest. "I..."

"And if there's something that displeases you, you need only say the word."

"Yes."

You know your response comes out overeager, giddy, like a schoolgirl on the precipice of receiving sweets. Erwin pays it no mind. He takes to nuzzling your neck, murmuring against your skin, "Precious girl. What a precious girl you are."

This time, you do whine a little, your core blooming with heat. Intoxicating, the kind of warmth that makes you squeeze your tights together in fear of it escaping. It only deepens as Erwin's large hands drag over your belly, stabilizing you into a half-seated position that allows him full jurisdiction over your neck. There, he lays out kisses that spark embers in their wake. 

"Erwin," you choke, fingers fiddling with the fabric of your nightgown.

In response, Erwin hums, the sound of which buzzes into your brain, as if telling you that yes, we want you and you push further against him, yes, please, I want you both. 

Levi, done removing your shoes, moves to stroking your calves. You're wearing stockings that reach your knees, but Levi doesn't remove them; you feel his fingertips gently explore past them, making you gasp.  

"You're so sensitive," you hear him tease, his touches circling upwards. A shudder wracks through your spine. "Figures.”

For once, you don’t come up with a clever reply.

Levi bunches your skirt, hitching it up to reveal bare skin. You feel blood rush across your body, all too aware just how exposed you are, how he’s this close to seeing all of you. Even Erwin's mouth on your neck—neither lacking in vigor or curiosity—isn't enough to distract you.  

What if you can't do this after all? 

Levi presses pecks across your inner thighs, his index hooking with your waistband and tugging it down. Your cunt is exposed, and your nerves wind tight. Instinctively, your free leg wraps around Levi's skull, twisting and squeezing to hide from him. 

"Ssh, beloved," Erwin's voice soothes your ear. He's paused in his exploration, massaging your nape with his broad touch instead. "Do you want us to stop?" 

"N-no. Just... jus nervous. Ignore me."

"You need to relax." 

Erwin's right, of course. You're rigid as a tree, squeamish from all the new sensations and everything that lies ahead. You're surprised Levi hasn't told you off for squeezing his face.

"Just lean into me and let Levi show you just how much he's dreamed of this," Erwin ushers. Your thighs instinctively relax. You feel Levi press a scorching kiss on your inner thigh, as if praising you. "He's going to be gentle with you, I promise. You can do that for us, can't you?"

Still wound up, you manage a nod. Erwin hums, clearly content to see you so responsive to his words. He briefly breaks away as he grabs a pillow, tucking your head gently beneath it. He then finds his spot next to you again, his broad hand dragging over the expanse of your nightgown, his warm breath fluttering against your cheek.

By now, Levi's finger pads are almost on your cunt. He doesn't say anything, but you think you hear him inhale sharply, just as his eyes briefly flickers to meet yours. His pupils are blown black. Without saying a word, he bunches your nightgown further up, and when you tilt your head up to watch with bated breaths, the look in his eyes is that of a man in a trance.

You're bare for him—for them. 

"I... I do not know if it is adequate," you confess, throwing your head back and staring at the ceiling. "I didn't... I didn't think—"

"Shh." Erwin presses a kiss to your temple. "Don't even think about that. You're perfect." 

Erwin's words still aren't enough to completely appease you. You press your palms into your eyes, shifting nervously. What if Levi hates what he sees? What if he dislikes the hair and the sensation and—

Levi’s mouth falls on your sex.

You gasp—a sharp hiccup that tangles with Erwin’s ragged breath in your ear. 

This is... not what expected. 

No, when Levi got on his knees, you expected fingers, similarly to the way you touch yourself at night when all you dreamed of was absolution in this. Instead, Levi has given you something more, something you never thought would be yours to experience.

And it makes your heart race.  

Before you know it, Levi parts you with his tongue, warm and deft, and your calves are thrown over his shoulders, where he steadies you for the onslaught of pleasure he gives unabated.

Erwin's hands, too, have wandered, removing your garment far enough to expose your collarbone. His large fingers subtly draw shapes over your skin, like he was using your flesh as a canvas. He starts from your shoulder blades, and draws ever closer to your right breast, while his mouth remains sewn to the tendon on her neck, devotion on his tongue. You feel your nipples harden, watching as Erwin briefly retracts and his gaze flickers towards you.

His fingers stop short. "May I touch you?" 

You can only nod, a buildup blooming at your core that's making it hard to think, both because of Levi's delicious licks and the way Erwin is staring at you right now. You squirm, your insides aching. Erwin's giant hand carefully slides under your chemise, tracing a path over the swell of your breast, then cupping it. A soft moan slips out of you, undeterred, and your fingers tangle with whatever fabric you find within reach until you find yourself pulling the fitted sheets loose.  

"You like that, beloved?" Erwin purrs. 

"Y-yes." 

As if fuelled by your sweetness, Levi's tongue changes rhythm, a teasing motion that lights you up. Your whine comes out desperate, in a series of hiccups. 

"Feel that, beloved? How much Levi aims to please you?" Erwin murmurs. "How long he's waited?"

The thought sends a new wave of pleasure over you, like sparks igniting beneath your skin. Against Levi, you arch back, surprised by the magnitude of your reaction, your breath catching in your throat like a bird in a cage. With delirium in your veins, your next movements are mechanical: you roll your hips, attempting to follow Levi's tongue and chase the spot you most crave. It only seems to ignite something in Levi, who licks and explores with a maddening sweep of his tongue, and grabs your thighs with a bruising grip. Long fingers on bare, flaming skin are all you can feel. 

"Er-w-win, I'm not sure how to-," you confess, the knot in your core growing tighter. There’s butterflies swimming at the front of your brain, and your hands feel clammy. "I've never, not in front of anyone..." 

With his free hand, Erwin brushes back your sweaty forehead, pressing a kiss on your cheek. "Just let it go, beloved. Focus on the sensation."

"B-but, I don't... I don't know that I... what if—"

Before you know it, the pleasure stops. You snap your attention to the edge of the bed. Levi has slipped away, his gray eyes boring straight into you. There's a layer of shine dripping down his lips and chin—remnants of you.

The world stops moving right at that moment. You want to grab Levi into a searing kiss; you want to get lost in this forever. 

Instead, you’re beckoned by Levi’s curt voice. "Princess, breathe." Prowling like a cat, Levi comes close, his slender fingers cupping your too-warm cheeks. "Between these walls, nothing else matters. Just us."

You clings to his hand, mulling those words over. The truth behind your short existence. 

For so long, life has felt like an ever-ending fight. A princess of the realm, destined to never be enough. Always running, always trying to catch up and meet the impossible standards placed on your shoulders. Proving to yourself—to your father and to all his subjects— that you deserved your position. That you were just as deserving as a man, that you deserved a seat at the table. Doing all of that... and somehow always failing. 

But this, right now... it is no failure. You are enough. Erwin and Levi have given you wings of your own, willing you to the sun, and you feel like you're all soaring through the sky together. Tasting the clouds, the air, the freedom. 

"Just us," you repeat, squeezing his hand tighter. 

Just you and Levi and Erwin. Your two loyal knights, your friends. 

Your lovers. 

Satisfied by your reassuring grip, Levi's stare flickers towards Erwin, whose fingers are laid on the bud of your breast like it was a flower amongst a field of green.

"Levi," Erwin's voice is sweet like honey, "come here."

In response, Levi's brows knit together, but he does as he is bid. With Erwin’s fingers still massaging your breast, Levi and Erwin exchange a brief kiss, quick and messy and wet. Your eyes flutter at the sight, warmth spreading through your torso. 

When Levi pulls away, it is to roll his eyes. "You're so obvious, you dolt."

Erwin's voice is husky, almost needy. "She does taste wonderful, doesn't she? Just as we always dreamed she would."

"Yeah."

Levi doesn’t look at you as he kneels back down at the edge of your world. Your eyes search for an answer in Erwin, but the latter only flashes you an easy smile that makes it quite clear you heard them correctly.

Just as they always dreamed?

"Erwin—"

But already, you're silenced as Levi's mouth descends between your legs again, this time with added pressure, with increased reverence. He starts with the same circling motion with his tongue, only to move down.

Oh. 

Instead of lavishing your vulva as he had done before, Levi's tongue has plunged into you, precise and deadly. Your mouth parts, and he shifts, edging in further in. A flash of white builds through your vision. 

Oh, indeed.

"There, do you feel how desperate Levi is to please you?" Erwin murmurs, the smell of his cologne enveloping you again. It makes your mouth water, makes your tongue pant in breathy huffs to taste it. "He loves nothing more than to show you." 

In response, you stifle a whimper, biting down on your knuckles, self-conscious on the lewd noises coming out of you. Your hips continue to chase gratification all the same, rolling with clumsy movements, one desire stringing you along: more, more, more. Pleasure is guided by Levi's vice grip of your thighs, rocking his movements back and forth—between this and Erwin kissing your neck, you know you won't last long. 

"Don't silence yourself," Erwin says, no—pleads. "Not here, not with us." 

And then, Erwin pinches your nipple, hard, while his mouth sucks on the juncture between your neck and shoulder. At once, a shudder wracks down your spine, and you moan—long, hard, and loud. 

You think you call out to them then. 

You're abstractly aware of Erwin saying your name, but before you can say a thing, Levi's fingers slip into you, pumping into you and stretching you. The coil begins to tighten. Heat blooms everywhere—scorching white, erupting beneath every cell in your body, making you feel like the sun itself. It’s too much and not enough at the same time. You need more. More, more, more. Your blood seems to sing for those words— wanting them both closer, wanting them to consume you.

You never want to leave this room. 

Levi slips a second finger inside. Curls it. 

You gasp. 

“Are you close?” Erwin murmurs. 

“Y-yes, hah... I... just, I—“

“Need that last push?”

Toes curling behind Levi’s neck, you bite your lower lip, managing to puff out, “Uh-huh.”

“Levi, you heard our princess.”

Levi responds with a muffled groan. Your body trembles as his mouth falls to your cunt again, this time focusing on sucking the sensitive nub at the top. All the while, his fingers continue to slide in and out, rubbing against your pelvis. Your throat is dry like sand, the coil in your belly pressing against the edges of your mind. Levi’s ministrations are feverish and you are reduced to a babbling mess, rutting against him with desperation.  

Erwin is there to guide you through it all. “Let it go, beloved.”

Just as Erwin gives his command, Levi's tongue flicks your clit in just the way you'd needed most right now, and the flames take you.

Your vision blurs.  

At once, pleasure surges and claims its place between your bones. Your entire body shakes, your head flung back against the pillows, your fingers digging into the mattress, body writhing in the sheets. Levi’s grip tightens on you, his tongue soothing as your body spasms.

Holy Rose, Maria, Sina. 

As you navigate this newfound high, you're vaguely aware of Levi licking and tasting and devouring. He tugs at the hems of your dress, groaning against you, like he was licking every inch of you, making out with your sex. Meanwhile, Erwin... Erwin is palming himself through his breaches, transfixed on the painting in front of him—on Levi, on you. His two lovers.

You gasp, knowing this moment will be scorched into your brain for all the ages to come. 

When at last, Levi rises to his feet, the first thing you notice is that his cheeks are dusted pink. His lips are swollen and puffy…

Dark as a storm.

Levi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, sitting on your opposite side. “How was that?”

“I think I saw our Gods.” 

"Which ones?"

“All of them.”

“Dramatic.”

“It’s a compliment to you.” You consider throwing a pillow at Levi, just to score some petty points, but ultimately abstain from it. You turn to Erwin instead. “Tell me, is it… is it truly always so wonderful?”

You don't care how much of an ingenue you come across saying those words; the hearts in your eyes must give away just what this means to you. 

“Sex is what you make it.” Erwin chuckles, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “It is not always about reaching your own end, or your partner’s. Ultimately, healthy communication is key, as is trust and enjoyment.”

“I see.” Your head slopes to the side, admiring Erwin’s aquiline nose, dotted with a constellation of freckles. His hand caresses below your belly button, making you shiver. “I suppose this is what you were both so busy with during your training as squires, huh?" 

Erwin laughs. Levi clicks his tongue.  

With renewed enthusiasm,  you push yourself up by your elbows, glancing between them. How long had you wanted them like this? Years. Now, both of their gazes are on you, and the night has only begun. 

“I know tonight is about me…” Your eyes briefly flicker to their groin areas, noticing the tent-like shape that has formed against the fabric of their clothes. Your mouth drools before you can help it; you quickly it down swallow and look back at them. “But what if I wish to please you too?”

They exchange a look, but it Levi who speaks up first. "Princess, we understand your want, but once you do this—"

"Virginity is a made-up construct, Levi. It is not real," you say, dismissing the notion altogether. "When I am queen, I will make sure to change that. In the meantime, I will decide what I do with my body." A pause, one where you tilt your head uncertainly. "Of course, if you do not wish to do this, that is another matter entirely. I would understand.”

"That's not what I meant," Levi says with clipped irritation.

"Your Highness, are you certain about this?" Erwin attempts to soften the blow. “Levi has a point—”

"I am perfectly certain of my own desires, yes."

Your conviction, or perhaps something in your stare, seems to convince them on your feelings on the matter. They go silent, look at each other one last time, and then Erwin chuckles softly. "Levi, why don't you lie next to her?"

"Yeah," Levi mutters. "She's gonna need me to guide her through it."

"Hey! I'm not some helpless damsel."

"Never said you were." Levi shoots you a look, sitting next to you. “Just put your stupid pride aside and take my help.”

Behind him, Erwin is unbuckling his belt, the sound of leather drawn tight. You wish it would all go faster. 

You eye Levi. "But what are you going to do while he...?"

Levi answers by shifting closer to you. With a ragged breath, his slender finger reach for the buttons of your chemise. As he coaxes the last one to open, his eyes flicker to you. A silent question.

Heart stuttering, you nod. With his help, the garments come off. Now fully exposed to them, the reprieve you get of Levi briefly drawing back to fold your nightgown away is temporary; soon, you sense both their heated gazes on you. You cross your arms over your breasts, but Levi gently intertwines his hand with your own, moving to kiss your knuckles with added reassurance. 

"I'll watch," Levi finally states. 

You place a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat soaring away. Like fine marble, Levi's muscles would be worthy to be displayed in a museum.  "Then... can I see you, too?"

Levi's eyes flutter. Silently, he does as you ask, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, though he omits to remove his undergarment. 

Still, he's...

"Beautiful," you whisper, tentatively placing a hand over his chest bone.

Old scars criss-cross, forming paths of sinewy prowess. Feeling your probing, curious stare, the knot on Levi’s throat bobs. You place a kiss on his right cheek.

"You are beautiful, you know that?" you say, saccharine sweet. 

Levi's lips curl. Pink graces his skin, flushing all the way to his neck. He folds his clothes to place them on the wardrobe nearby. It is only after he is back next to you, facial expression composed once more, that he speaks up, "What did I say? Corny."

The sound of Erwin’s laughter soothes your ears and beckons you both to stare at your second lover.

It is only then that you notice that Erwin is also entirely disrobed, save from his undergarment. His golden skin, a living tapestry of chiseled muscles and taut tendons, glows with a fierce vitality. A trail of golden hair that blazes a path from his navel downwards…

"So are you," you say to Erwin with a breathy tone, "beautiful."

"I'm glad you like what you see.” Erwin runs a hand to the back of his head, grinning sweetly. “You are, well—"

From across the room, Levi's gaze locks onto you.

"Divine," Erwin finishes.

You feel yourself grow hot, feeling their eyes admire your every curve, your every facet.

“Fuck, I can’t take this,” comes Levi’s voice, stomping back towards the bed. “You guys are nauseating to be around.”

You snort. “Then why are you red as a lobster?”

“Shut up.”

You and Erwin both burst into different fits of laughter, the feeling of which serves to soothe the nerves at pit of your stomach.

"What about you?" you ask Levi. "Don't you want him inside of you? Or the other way around?"

"No.” Levi's lips draw thin. “We're not doing that today."

"Why not?"

"I told you already, didn't I? Tonight's about you, Princess."

The way Levi says the word Princess has always meant something to you, something more than when that title indicates. Now, it elicits delicious frissons all across your skin. How things have changed... 

Before you can say just as much, your peripheral catches a shift. Erwin has removed his underwear, and you turn. 

Your throat instantly goes dry.

He’s… big. 

Lacking these specific parts yourself, you lack a comparison. You've seen statues, of course, and caught accidental glances from salacious books left around by servant. Still, you're certain that Erwin is definitely above average.

No trifling matter, indeed.  

“Hey, lie down,” Levi’s breath tickles your right ear. You can smell him—cotton and black tea, a scent that instantly grounds you. His eyes are heady and glazed when you look at him. “We’re gonna use your prayer oils to get you ready.”

"The oils?" You raise a brow. "Sure the Royal Sage would be thrilled to hear that."

"Yeah, well. What that old geezer doesn't know won't hurt him.'"

The oils do end up being put to good use. You watch as Erwin slides it along the contraceptive sheath he’s unravelled on his length, something he carries around ("You never know when... erm, the opportunity will arise." You laugh. Levi calls him a pervert, blushing from head to toe.). His broad hand strokes himself up and down, the sight of his muscles rendering him into some timeliness statue.

Meanwhile, Levi’s dipped two fingers into you, oil and all. The sensation of his fingers, cold and slender, makes you gasp again. Now that they're separated from the feeling of his tongue, you realize that his strokes are different from your own. Definitely addictive.

Levi’s baritone is like a cello on your skin. "He's big, you see. So you need to ease into it."

"That so?" you ask, lids twitching as you concentrate on the friction Levi is so generously bestowing onto you. Your hips twitch as he alternates between rubbing against your labia and slipping inside. “Does he… does he do that to you?”

"Mm. Takes forever to prep."

Before you can say a thing, Levi’s fingers curl, wedged deep inside of you. Your moan slips out before you can control it. “Gods.”

“Don’t call out to them,” Levi mutters. “They're not the ones touching you.”

“Hah, you call us corny? That was the cheesiest line in the books.”

In response, Levi slips in a third finger, making you whine. By the time you try to protest, Levi simply curls his fingers, increasing the speed of his ministrations, and you’re reduced to nonsensical words and breathless groans.

“Thought as much,” Levi’s satisfied tone bleeds in your ears.

You huff. Smug bastard.

“Look at you two,” Erwin says, tone oozing with tenderness. "What a sight." 

When your gaze slides to Erwin once more, you feel your breath catch. He's still stroking himself, though his movements are more languid, slowed in urgency. His eyes are locked on you and Levi with an intensity that makes heat pool in your belly.

"What do you think?" Levi asks, his fingers still working inside you, stretching you with careful precision. The pool of warmth wracks through your body, all the way to your feet. "Think you're ready for him?"

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Levi withdraws his fingers, and you silently grieve the sudden emptiness.

You don't need to wait for too long, however, as Erwin soon approaches the bed, his powerful frame looming over you. The mattress dips beneath his weight as he positions himself between your legs. His hand cups your cheek, thumb tracing your lower lip.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Erwin asks you, voice feather-like.

“I am.”

“I’m going to go slow, but it might hurt in the beginning.”

“I'm ready.”

He's kneeling between your legs now, his broad shoulders taking up so much space you feel almost overwhelmed by his presence. His blue eyes, usually so commanding in public, now look at you with such tenderness you feel like your heart might burst.

"May I?" Erwin asks, ever the gentleman even as his arousal stands proud between his legs.

"Yes," you breathe, reaching for him. "Please."

Levi shifts beside you, his hand finding yours and squeezing. "Breathe," he reminds you, voice uncharacteristically soft. "And remember, we stop whenever you say."

Erwin positions himself at your entrance, the blunt head of him pressing against you. The oil makes everything slick, and you feel a momentary flutter of nervousness. But then Levi's lips are on your neck, and Erwin slowly enters you.

The stretch is immediate, a full sensation that edges on discomfort but never quite tips over. Erwin’s careful, painfully so, advancing the slightest then drawing back. You gasp at each new increment as he pushes further, feeling a kind of pressure that’s startling and strange yet strangely satisfying.

"You're doing so well," Erwin murmurs, pausing to let you adjust. His chest rises and falls with deep, controlled breaths.

Levi's thumb circles your palm, grounding you. "Halfway there," he whispers against your skin.

It doesn't hurt, not like you thought it might. There’s a moment where it pinches, but it’s brief. What you feel instead is an intense fullness—Erwin’s girth stretching you, filling you with more than you ever thought possible.

You turn towards your second companion, whose hard limb brushes against your hip as he kisses your collarbone. 

"Levi, at least let me touch you," you mutter. 

“Why?”

“I just really want to do that to you. Please.”

Levi shifts back, his eyes glinting. At first, you're certain he will refuse you, but finally, he acquiesces. His underwear comes off, and you watch him with parted lips.

Levi's cock is different from Erwin's. It's not as big, but still thick. And in your hands now, he’s so... hard.

With patience, Levi takes your hand and guides you along his length, showing you how to move up and down, how much pressure to apply. The first time you manage to do it right, following a thick vein with your thumb, his body twitches. With fascination, you watch him squeeze his eyes shut, his cheeks aflame. It makes you smile, makes you feel powerful.

“So, this was the secret all along,” you observe, movements going clumsy as you struggle to keep speech and action aligned. "All it took to shut you up was this?" 

Levi groans. “You’re ruining the moment.” 

Erwin laughs, the sound of it vibrating all the way to your core. Weird. “How are you feeling?”

With impatience now getting the better hold of you, you turn to him. “You can move now, ‘Win.”

"As you wish." 

And indeed, Erwin does as his princess says. He finally begins to slowly drag his cock along your walls, pushing further in. You gasp, feeling yourself being stretched, feeling the way his length reaches in.

“It’s all about rhythm, you see,” Erwin explains as he pulls back, not enough to drag out completely, but enough to make you feel him. You whine, still adamant in maintaining a steady stroke on Levi, who shudders under your touch. “You want to start slow, then gradually build up. It takes a bit of practice, but”—he pushes back into you in one fluid motion, your body arches forward—“you catch on fast.”

Erwin's thrusts are addictive. This new position allowing him even deeper, even closer. Levi gasps as your hand matches Erwin's rhythm.

"Fuck," Levi says, sounding winded. "You’re so f-fucking... tight around him."

Another thrust and your eyes roll back. Levi grips your hand with his own, guiding you up and down his shaft, showing you how to increase the pressure. Before you can say a think, he seals his desire with a kiss.

Levi's tongue, Erwin's thrusts, are all you can feel. It feels incredible, feeling them like this, all the wet noises and groans and skin on skin. You feel triumphant surrounded by their bodies, knowing they are yours like you are theirs. The pleasure builds with each thrust, each stroke, until you think you might come apart at the seams.

“Look at you, Princess.” Levi’s words are ragged, his voice a blend of reverence and astonishment. “Taking him so well.” Your eyes flutter as Levi’s praise sends a rush of heat through you. "Fucking perfect." 

"Gods." 

As if caught in a delirium of his own, wanting to match his own vices, Levi places his free hand down, massaging your swollen clit. You gasp, scrabbling for desperation, the tight coil burning and bright.

"Levi," you whine. "S'too much, I can't, I-"

"You can take this." Levi's forehead is now pressed against yours, while he helps you stroke him, all the while revering your clit with his digits. "C'mon, Princess, I know you can." 

And maybe it's Levi's needy tone hidden behind praises, maybe it's Erwin's unforgiving thrusts, but you want to believe them. 

“There,” Erwin gasps, sweat glistening on his brow. Erwin has sped up, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. His muscles tense above you, veins pronounced against his skin. “Yes. Just like that—there you go, beloved. You're so perfect.”

“Ah—‘Win—Levi—I—”

"Let it go," Levi rasps. 

And then, you shudder around Erwin, the heat of your climax making you go boneless. Levi’s name tumbles from your lips as his head dips against your shoulder, your joined hands still working him, and when you hear him let out a delicate, lovely moan, you realize he’s the first to come undone.

But then, with Erwin still moving inside of you, that wave pleasure crashes over you, and you feel your walls clamp down on him as you find your release again. Erwin thrusts into you one last time, breath ragged, and you feel the warmth of his own desire as he spills into you—his entire body shuddering beneath him. 

You’re barely lucid, but you feel Levi collapsing on your right side, Erwin eventually doing the same on your left. You think you hear their voices, but everything is too bright and too blurry simultaneously, too many stars of white and gold dancing around you. Are you lucid right now? 

When you finally blink your way back to reality, you find them on your bed, tending to you.

Levi wipes your forehead with a damp cloth while Erwin cleans your thighs.

"Drink this," Levi instructs, holding out a wooden cup. 

You oblige, though not before catching another kiss from him. Levi seems surprised, but kisses you back, one hand on your waist. When you turn towards Erwin, there's fondness in his gaze as he slides his tongue in your mouth, pressing a comforting touch on Levi's neck. Together, the three of you say huddled together, up until Levi breaks apart and forces you to drink the water, followed by his orders to wash and get ready for bed.

When all is said and done, you find yourself in bed with them. The aftermath of your lovemaking has long since subsided, and your body aches from the pleasure and new sensation you just experienced. You're in the middle of them, all tangled limbs and sheet, and it is glorious. They're glowing from the afterglow, and you suspect that you are as well. The only light comes from a candle lit next to Erwin's side, but it is enough to dust them in specks of gold that makes you feel like you're in a dream. 

"Is this what dying feels like?" you ask in the quiet of the night.

"More like living," Erwin smiles, brushing his hand through your hair. His touch is soft like butter. "How are you, beloved?"

"Perfect."

Levi clicks his tongue. "Too tired to be clever, I see."

You jab his side with an elbow, but it's without any real force. He raises a brow, the corners of his mouth twitching.

Erwin chuckles. "Looks like we did a good job, Levi."

"Yeah," Levi agrees, his tone losing its edge. He pressing himself in the pillow next to you. "Guess we did.”

As Erwin brushes safety into your scalp and you hug Levi from behind, curiosity gets the better of you.

"Are you all going to manage to fall asleep with me?"  

"Obviously not," Levi mutters. "You're practically choking me here."

"Pff." You roll your eyes, but soften your grip all the same. 

Levi's hand snakes to grip yours, pulling you back. "Who said you were allowed to stop?"

You snort, burying yourself into his back. "You're impossible." 

Behind you, Erwin chuckles, but his soft massage on your scalp doesn't stop. Blindly, you reach for the hand that's free, pulling him closer so that it encapsulates both you and Levi. You happily sigh, basked in their scents, in their warmth. 

"I wish we'd done this sooner," you confess, not knowing if you're overstepping with your words. 

"So do we, beloved," Erwin says. 

"Is it selfish that I never want this to end?"

For a moment, neither of them say anything. There's a shift in movements, but neither of them move positions.

"It's always been the three of us, hasn't it?" Erwin points out. "Ever since we were all young, dreaming and looking at the sun."

"Yeah."

"I can't speak on Levi's behalf but... when it comes to you and him, I for one want to be selfish."

The confession makes your heart race. Through it all, Levi is strikingly silent. Nervous he doesn't feel the same, you shift, heart thudding in the middle of your chest. 

"Levi, you're not cross with me? If that's not how you feel, I don't want-"

"No." Levi cuts off. "What Erwin said is... right. Just... just didn't know to say it." 

"Are you sure?"

There's another silence, where you feel the steady rise and fall of their chest against your body. You wait. 

"We're yours, Princess," Levi says at last. Strikingly quiet. "Always." 

Erwin squeezes Levi's hand. "Always."

"Always..." you sigh, eyes fluttering shut, "Sounds like a tale for the ages." 

Erwin laughs, pressing a kiss to your back of your head. "Maybe it will be. Be sure to tell us how it should go."

And with that, Erwin shifts back, blowing out the last candle.

That night, you sleep soundly. Entangled in the warmth and protection of their bodies, you feel safe. You feel loved. You feel free. 

It’s a wonderful place to be.

“Must you really go?”

With a pout on your face, you watch as Erwin and Levi gets dressed. Morning is in full bloom by now, and you can hear the sounds of the castle that signals servants are out and about. Soon, the rest of the royals and nobles will follow. Despite this, you sit up with no real urgency, clutching the sheets of your bed to your chest.

The dewy light filters into your chambers, painting the walls in soft, golden hues. For a moment, you simply watch as your guards move with quiet efficiency, Erwin fastening his cufflinks, Levi buckling his belt.

“We shouldn’t have stayed in the first place,” Levi quips. “If anyone noticed we were missing from our stations, it'd be trouble.”

“Levi’s right, beloved," Erwin concurs, "we don’t want to draw unwanted attention.”

“I understand that, but…” You frown. "But couldn't you simply say I called you in for something? I don't want to see you go." 

“Hey.” By now, Levi’s walked to you, looking at you. “Don’t overthink things. We meant what we said last night; we're not going anywhere. We just need to keep up appearances." 

You look down, looking dejected.

"Princess." Erwin calls out to you. You look up; he's walked up to you as well and all you can see are his beautiful eyes. Cerulean blue. "What you said to your father, about ruling alone, being the Queen of the Realm..."

A knot forms in the middle of your chest. 

"If that is what you wish, we will do everything in our power to make it a reality." 

"But what about you?" 

Levi squeezes your hand.

“We’re your sworn swords, Princess," Levi says. "We’ll be there by your side, now and forever."

You smile, fondness prickling beneath your skin. If history might have anything to say about the woman you become, you know you might not be looked at in the kindest light. Let them do as they please; you'd set your own path and modernize the monarchy once and for all.

"I have decided on the first words of our joined story, by the way." Your two knights look back at you, gleaming. You make your way to stand close to them, kissing their cheeks before stepping back.  "Once upon a time, three friends fell in love." 

Levi scowls at your platitudes, muttering a bashful, "Corny," while Erwin just grins. "I like the sound of that," he says, adding his own twist to it, "The Once and Future Queen and Her Two Knights, a Tale for the Ages."

You smile sweetly. "Seems we have our title." 

They both give their own versions of a smile, more valuable than all the gold in the world. 

As they exit the confines of your bedroom that day, you don't tell them the ending to your story—the ending you're determined to bring to life.

And the three of them lived happily ever after.

I hope you enjoyed this little piece of saccharine indulgence. What do you all think happens next - does our trio get their happily ever after? Do they flee? Does our princess modernize the realm or abolish monarchy? I'd love to hear your theories in the comments.

Thanks for reading <3

— Masterlist / Join my taglist / Fic Playlist

[dreammfyre]

time out ⊹ ࣪ ˖ frank langdon

SUMMARY. A 24 hrs work and a love relationship were not always compatible. That's why you and Frank had decided to keep it a secret for the time being, didn't want to give explanations or sign Human Resources papers, create rumors in the team or your relationship become a topic of conversation to others. So, both came to the agreement that was the best idea for the moment, you didn't know it, but he was not comfortable with that, Langdon’s hated to keep up appearances and keep his words to himself when you were together because of the risk that others might hear, but to be with you he was willing to make an effort.

WARNINGS. Soft!AU, Langdon is a complacent for his gf. They have been in a relationship for less than a month, so it is still new.

AUTHOR’S NOTE. For some reason everybody loves fluff!Langdon scenarios and here we are. ((in my the pitt era, really sorry my hotd people i still love you))

For some reason Robby decided to buy pizza for the whole team which for you was just as frekingexciting as Christmas. You had been on shift for about four hours and it was time to rest for at least thirty minutes, Dr. Mohan -your new public enemy- charged you directly to Dana who ended up kicking off any case that came through the door until you ate something, drank fluids and rested your mind for at least half an hour. You couldn't refuse, no one was capable of winning an argument with Dana, if you wanted to survive in The Pittsburgh it was a known fact; never to take it up with the nurse in charge.

Robby made it very clear, do what Dana says when she says it.

You settled into the old armchair in the break room, unwashed cups on the table was a common thing to find here, the coffee pot always with coffee inside no matter the time of day, you had to be lucky to find it warm. Opened one of the pizza boxes finding it empty, you let out an insult into the air that no one heard and threw it in the trash, was it so hard to do at the time? Continued in your search until found the vegetarian pizza almost intact, you thanked your fellow carnivores who ignored the vegetables because at that moment it became a real delicacy for your palate.

You had been so busy at work that didn't realize you were fucking starving.

The fluorescent light flickered on the ceiling but at this point everyone was used to it, decide took off your shoes for comfort while enjoyed your breakfast/lunch and maybe also the dinner today. You looked for your water bottle that you had left behind, hours before just had to run out for an emergency and had to leave it behind, luckily no one had drank from it.

You looked at the clock on your phone for the tenth time in the hope this way the minutes would pass faster, you felt like an athlete on the bench while the rest of the team was still in competition. But also felt strange this kind of tranquility, no noise, no people around you walking in a hurry everywhere, no orders. Just quiet.

The door opened and without warning Dr. Frank Langdon entered the break room so fast to saw his favorite girl esting in the couch, taking a couple of seconds to notice you. His messy hair was one of your secret weaknesses, loving the way that his brown locks fell loose on his forehead but he hated them. Frank walked straight to the coffee pot almost instinctively grabbing one of the few clean cups left on the cabinet, were still minding your own business on your phone, but looking at him over the screen.

"Why are you doing here?" Langdon asked turning on the coffee pot. "We have an accident en route arriving in ten minutes."

Threw your head back in frustration, thanks to Dana now you'll miss out on the fun. "I'm grounded like a thief in jail."

"Was Dana, right?" Langdon turned to look at you furrowing his eyebrows. You nodded in response looking like a girl without her toys locked in the most boring room in the world. "Don't even think about escaping or you'll be in worse trouble. How long did she give you?"

"Thirty minutes." Replied causing a small chuckle from him who scoffed at your misfortune. "It's not funny! I'm on tech break."

"Must be better behaving yourself." Poured himself the steaming coffee from the machine, instead of taking a seat in one of the chairs surrounding the table he preferred to settle in the same armchair as you, in his head it was a better idea taking advantage of the fact that for now they were alone. "Do you eat that cold?"

"It doesn't matter. Still tastes good." Lifted your shoulders with your mouth full of pizza, your pitiful words understood.

"As you wish." Took a sip of his hot drink, burning his lips in the process. He learned not to mess with your food because you always were going to get mad.

The two of you were little silent for a while, between you it wasn't awkward nor did you need a topic of conversation. Although you felt Frank’s gaze, watched you for a few seconds. He wasn't saying anything, but he didn't need to: he has that way of looking at you that makes you feel scrutinized beyond the physical.

"At least that shit tastes good?" Pointed to the coffee with displeasure.

"Of course not." Langdon replied instantly to then take a sip from the cup.

You let out a laugh that filled the room making your cheeks round and your eyes flatten, Frank looked at you saving that cute image for the rest of the day. Finally finished your poor meal and immediately stretched out on the couch, resting your head on Langdon’s legs who didn't object to being used as a pillow, well, just because it was you, no one would put up with something similar.

"Really?"

"I'm rested as requested. Or this bother you?”

"C’mon, you know I don't."

You looked up at him from below, a genuine smile forming on your lips as Frank tried to remain serious in a staring war that he was obviously going to end up losing. His serious-performance didn't last long finally let out a low, a real laugh as he stared at the ceiling thinking about what you had done to make him a stupidly happy man.

"You're so good at making me forget the rules." He said letting his deeply thoughts come out all too naturally.

"What rules?" Looked up barely with your head on his thighs.

"Human Resources and their bullshit rules that say I shouldn't like you." Frank dropped one of his hands gently to rest on your belly, not possessively, but comfortably. As if it was already natural to have you there. Holding his coffee with the other being cautious that the hot liquid didn't fall over your body.

Your cheeks lit up in a lovely pink color, sometimes felt that Frank didn't realize the things he was saying or the effect it could have. At a certain point you shared it too, they knew that HR was going to become a problem sooner or later for their relationship and would have to give explanations both weren't prepared to give, the boring bureaucracy, you didn't want to answer questions of; How long ago did their relationship start? Is it serious? And all that crap about confidentiality politics, conflicts of interest.

Just weren't ready.

"I have to go." Frank said with a grimace of displeasure, gently tidying the strands of your hair in your face. "Sorry, babe."

"Yeah, sure." You sat down leaving him free to stand up. "There's more than one trauma coming, you must be really excited."

Another chuckle from him. Langdon set the empty cup down on the table before looking back at you. "Maybe it’s true, but you have less time left before your time away is up."

Rolled your eyes not taking him seriously settling back, missing his smell of coffee and perfume that you never guess what the hell smells like.

"Go to save lives, I'll stay cooped up dying of boredom." You snort picking up again the cell phone that put aside.

Langdon looked at the door to the room, sighing to look back at you. Ever the adrenaline junkie he wondered if it was worth taking the risk, hell, with you it was. He turned back to where you are sit and tilts his face to yours, in a matter of seconds taking it between his hard fingers squeezing your cheeks hard enough to push your mouth against his. It is not a fleeting kiss. It's something slow, determined, as if he's been imagining it for hours. Frank’s lips press against yours with a restrained desperation, hunger disguised as calm. I'd been watching you for hours and I could finally give you a fucking kiss, it was torture to work with his girlfriend and put up an emotional barrier.

You freeze for a second, surprised... but only for a second because you kiss him back with your eyes closed and the heart pounding in your throat, feeling the touch of his chin, the heat emanating from Frank’s body, and that slight sigh that escapes of him at the end.

When he pulls away from you does so slowly, just a few millimeters. His blue eyes are still locked on yours, both knowing that door separates you from legal troubles.

"I'll save you a good case for when you come back, okay?” He tells knowing it's what you wanted to hear, you immediately smile contentedly and he gives you a soft, brief kiss. Just enough to catch your breath. Just enough to silence you.

[nephynes]

can u pls write smth abt jay and spanking … :,)

oof yes baby

MDNI

══════════════════════════

You weren't answering your phone, not for the past nine hours. Jay had called you seven times. Texted you four more after that. And nothing, not even a "hey, I'm okay."

Now the clock reads 3:57 a.m. and he's sitting on the couch in the dark, elbows on his knees, staring at the front door like he could will it to open.

Jay loves you so much, it makes him insane sometimes. But you just love to test him, that’s the only explanation for why you’d be out this late without so much as a text.

You know how much he worries and how protective he is. And yet you still do this—disappear into the night with your friends, leave him pacing the floor of your shared apartment while your location shows nothing but the words "can't be found."

Then he hears you fumbling with the key.

And when you walk through the door, hair a mess, heels in hand, laughing to yourself as you shut the door behind you, he doesn't even speak.

You don't notice him at first.

You just sigh and drop your bag by the entryway, mumbling, "God, my feet are killing me..."

Then you look up. And stop in your tracks.

Jay is sitting there in the dark, lit only by the blue glow of the fish tank behind him. He's staring straight at you, completely still.

"You're up?" you say softly, trying to play it off with a cute smile. "I thought you'd be asleep."

He stands up slowly. His jaw is tight.

"I called you," he says.

"I know. I saw." You shrug, kicking your shoes toward the corner. "I just forgot to text back."

"You forgot."

"I was with my friends, it wasn't—"

"You forgot to let me know you were alive?" His voice is low, but his eyes are burning. "You forgot that I'd be sitting here wondering if something happened to you?"

You roll your eyes. "God, Jay, I'm fine. Can you not be so dramatic—"

"Dramatic?"

You flinch at how sharp his tone is this time.

"Jesus," you mutter, brushing past him. "You're always so uptight—"

That's when he grabs you. It's not rough but it is firm. His hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you back before you can disappear into the hallway.

"Let go," you huff, twisting slightly in his grip. "I'm tired."

"You're drunk," he says. "You didn't call. You ignored me. And now you think you're gonna walk in here like nothing happened and talk to me like I'm nothing?"

You lift your chin, tipsy and stubborn. "You're not my dad, Jay."

"No," he says, voice calm but terrifying, "but I am your fucking boyfriend. And right now? You're acting like a fucking brat."

You blink up at him, heart skipping.

"Try that again," he says, tugging you closer. "Say it to my face."

You stay quiet but that only makes him angrier. Quiet-angry. The worst kind.

He sinks down on the couch again, spreads his knees, and yanks you forward until you're standing between them.

"You wanna act like a brat?" he mutters, looking up at you. "Then you can take the consequences too. Don’t you think?"

You open your mouth to sass him—reflexively, but his grip on your hip tightens, and something in his eyes makes your words die in your throat.

You know that look.

That strict Jay. The one that only comes out when he's really, really mad. The one that only surfaces when he feels hurt and doesn't know what else to do with it.

"Jongseong?" your voice wobbles in the week attempt to ground him with his real name, suddenly not as bold.

He just shifts you, pulling you down across his lap stomach pressing over his thighs, your hands hitting the couch cushion to brace yourself.

Your breath catches.

"Jay—"

"No," he says, low against your ear. "You don't get to run your mouth, ignore me all night, come home drunk at four in the bloody morning and think I won't do something about it."

Your heart is pounding. Not from fear, but from something warmer, deeper, the way only he could make you feel small, safe, and completely undone all at once.

"I was just with my friends," you mumble, though you're already wriggling in his grip. "It wasn't a big deal."

He lets out a dark little laugh.

"You’re saying that again while you're bent over my lap?" Your breath shivers out of you, lips parted, cheek pressing into the couch cushion. You could wriggle out of his grip. He would let you, always. But you don't, instead you whimper when he pins both your hands to your back with one hand.

And you know what this is. Jay doesn't punish you to hurt you. He does it because it's how he expresses all that bottled-up concern, that frustration he feels when you act recklessly and leave him to unravel in worry. And most of all, because you asked for this once. You wanted to know what it would feel like when he got strict. When he couldn't hold back.

So when his palm comes down, all sharp and clean, making you gasp.

"That's one," he says, voice low, hand still warm on the curve of your ass.

You blink, heart jumping. "O-One."

Another slap, this time firmer. It stings, but not in a way you want to run from.

"Two."

You clench your jaw and breathe out, "Two..."

He doesn't pause. The rhythm is deliberate, paced out. The sharp crack of his palm echoing in the quiet living room as the numbers tumble off your lips.

"...Seven..."

Your voice is thinner now, breathier. Your thighs are pressing together, and you know he notices, only because he chuckles softly, one hand pressing your hands to your lower back to keep you still as he keeps going.

"Eight."

"Eight," you whimper.

The ache is spreading now, hot and sweet and dizzying. You lose count once, and he makes you repeat it. And by the time you get to fifteen, your voice is high and cracking and you're squirming across his lap like your skin's on fire.

"Fifteen," you breathe out, teary-eyed and trembling.

Jay exhales, brushing his fingers lightly over your raw skin, soothing it before drifting down.

Your panties are soaked. He barely grazes you over the fabric and your hips buck, a sharp gasp tearing from your throat.

"Look at you," he murmurs, voice a little breathless now too. "You love this, don't you?"

You nod, face hot, hair falling into your eyes.

He keeps touching you like that—slow, steady strokes after shifting over the damp fabric and rubbing over your clit, until your legs are shaking, your whines getting higher, your whole body going still with tension.

He knows your body. Every twitch, every shiver. So when he feels you just about to tip over, he stops.

You choke on a sound so high and desperate, as his hand pulls back, leaving you throbbing and helpless over his lap.

And then he gently nudges you off.

You collapse onto the floor with a dramatic flop, your hand slipping between your thighs before he can stop you in an attempt to finish yourself off. He catches your wrist instantly.

"Ah ah," he warns, smirking now as he looms over you. "You don't get to act like a brat all night and still think I'll let you cum."

You glare at him, a frustrated, teary mess. "Jay—!"

"Nope." He leans in close, brushing his lips against your ear. "Fix your attitude. Then we'll talk."

You groan, kicking your legs a little like a child, and he laughs, gently catching your ankle. There's no cruelty in his smile, only fondness and heat. So much heat.

"Don't worry," he murmurs. "I'm not gonna leave you like this all night."

He leans in, kisses your temple, and lets his voice dip to a murmur.

"But next time you ignore me like that? You'll be lucky if you get to cum at all."

══════════════════════════

• a/n: i’m insecure about this, felt cliche

[jwsverse]

𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 timestamp 19:29

pairing ⁝ lee heeseung x f!reader

synopsis ⁝ in which you will always wait for him to be ready, and he will always be for you.

genre ⁝ fluff, light angst, based off en-drama heeseung heh

word count ⁝ 0.9k

heeseung doesn't speak much. he doesn't talk easily and he doesn't respond immediately. it's not that he's an introvert, well he is, but there's something else.

heeseung needs time. he needs to think — he likes to think, a lot. he like to process words and ends up taking too long to respond to people. he isn't sure how he should react when these people don't wait and just take their leave instead.

he knows it's stupid to think about even the silliest of things during a conversation as simple as “how are you?” but it's an instinct thing, and genuinely, he's just a curious person to everything.

how am i? what have i been up to lately...? how am i feeling? what should i say?

thoughts consume his mind and before he knows it, the person who asked him the question has already left. they assume he's ignoring them and heeseung has no idea how to fix it.

heeseung thought he fixed this habit when he met you, who waited the longest for his response and never judged him for his short hesitant answers. he felt seen and known whenever you stayed to listen to him talk, even if he never said much.

to be loved is to be seen, is what they say. and that was exactly what heeseung felt with you.

despite his dry answers, you always asked questions with your pretty smile and soft excited tone. you always looked for him and you always, always waited.

“it's okay, take your time,” you'd say.

he thought he had someone who understood him and he never went on to fix this habit of not speaking his thoughts.

until you started avoiding him like a plague the weekend after sunoo's birthday party.

heeseung had no idea what he did, or perhaps said. he just knew that even the smallest of eye contact had you turning away in an instant. you'd take a longer route to the bathroom just to avoid walking pass his class, going as far as waking up two hours earlier for school just so you won't bump into him on the way.

it seemed like now, really, no one wanted to listen to him, and heeseung despised it. he could handle everyone ignoring him, ignoring his quiet antics and lack of responses. but he could not take you not uttering a word to him. he wasn't sure why, but he just knew it was something he had to change.

so with this new determination set in stone, heeseung woke up three hours earlier for school and waited for you outside your place for an hour or more. any time soon now, you would step out of your door in your cute maroon cardigan and neatly pinned hair.

when you did, it didn't take you long to notice heeseung standing outside your porch. you tried to rush back in but he was calling your name before you could even put on your shoes.

“i...” he rubbed his neck uncomfortably, “i just wanted to talk.“

you hesitated, before nodding and slipping your shoes on. he watched you silently as you then looked up at him and bit your lips anxiously. he took it as a sign to say something.

“um, well i just, uh, you know,” heeseung stuttered, “look, did i do something wrong lately?”

you rocked on the tip of your heels and toes, “well, no, i suppose.” you replied honestly albeit hesitant.

“then… why haven’t you been talking to me lately?”

you seem taken aback, but you didn't shy away and instead you smiled sadly.. “because, you don’t.”

“huh?”

“heeseung,” you said firmly, meeting his eyes with your wide ones, sending his mind into a frenzy. “i really like you. i know you think a lot and i know people misunderstand you, but i won’t.”

heeseung’s breath caught, heart hammered against his ribcage. it thundered and all heat rushed to his cheek at your confession.

“but i also know, that i can’t keep clinging to you all the time.” you sounded exhausted, pained. heeseung didn't want to think in this moment — he couldn't because his feelings were overpowering all his thoughts as you rambled and then suddenly—

his lips were pressed to yours with a gentle touch. you’re frozen, and then your fingers trembled as you brought it to his sides and gripped onto his school blazer.

heeseung pulled away after a short second, breath shaky as he stuttered, “s-sorry, i…”

your eyes were blown wide, in shock and… happiness? wordlessly, your grip on him tightened and you leaned forward again, softly pecking his lips. heeseung gasped after you pulled away, erupting a giggle from you.

“you kissed me first, now you’re shocked?”” you said, nose grazing his.

“i just... i think i'm in love with you.”

huh?

“what?”

“what?”

you bursted out into laughter, as heeseung blushed so hard his entire neck to ears went red. you grinned at him, tears decorating the corner of your eyes from how funny he was, and heeseung thought he's never seen something prettier.

“heeseung, thank you for telling me how you feel.” you interlocked your fingers with his. your tone was gentle and full of patience, and when you squeezed his hand in yours, heeseung knew — you're here.

and even though his mind was in spirals and words jumbled, heeseung let himself relax against you and he smiled against the skin of your neck.

because at the end of the day, you'll be there to wait until he's ready to say something, anything.

© jwsverse

[arrrion]

Desperate

Stanxeno x female reader

Synopsis: you've been kidnapped by Stanley and Xeno because your husband had done them wrong.

Disclaimers: kidnapping, violence, insults, husband's a coward, your mind is in bad shape.

Yes I published this when it wasn't finished. You didn't see anything 👀

Every time I think of stanxeno it's always kind of dark??

Night had fallen for a moment already and here you were, in the streets, your heels hitting the ground, the only ambient noise. You had just left work, extra hours that won't change your paycheck, and were heading home. You could already hear your husband yell at you about the time.

Your life was a mess. You have a terrible dating history, the reason why you married this man. Your mom taught you how much you needed to finish your life married to someone, you never questioned her. You were never interested in that kind of relationship but had tried so many times. In the end a man proposed to you but this was never the start of your happy married life.

He doesn't work, he spends your money. It's more of a nuisance in your life. You studied hard only to have a poorly paid job, because your husband doesn't want you to "be afar from him". And you listened.

You slow down, finally stopping a little further on. Was it really your life? Living with a man that probably doesn't love you and uses you?

You clench your fist. You have to continue the play. You can't finish your life alone, right?

You take a step forward but suddenly a force pulls you violently to the side. A hand covers your mouth but you don't struggle.

·———————·

You're tired. Your phone keeps vibrating on the small table across where you're sitting. You already know who is calling like this, and a heavy sigh escapes from your lips.

You can't see a thing but you don't mind. Your eyes are always looking low so it's not uncomfortable for you. Your feet are attached to the chair, but unlike what you were expecting, your hands were actually tied with each other but they were resting on your legs. You could actually stand up but you won't do that. You didn't plan to escape. And even if you really wanted to, it was dumb to try and run with your feet tied to a chair, not forgetting the blindfolds.

You weren't calm though. Whatever was happening was stressing you out.

But by the look of it, Your attackers didn't intend to cause any harm, at least not yet.

Your shoes were missing, and your feet touched the cold floor. You actually had a pillow for your back. What kind of situation was this ?

Your thoughts were cut short when a door, that you guessed was behind you, opened and footsteps approached you. You could tell it was a tall man, probably taller than your husband. By the sound of it, he was wearing boots that were making a strong noise. He probably was indeed unpleased to be here, you could tell.

He stopped just behind you. You recognized the strong smell of cologne. The same odor that was present a millisecond before your nose was blocked by a hand.

The blindfold is removed and you can see an orange light that comes from beneath you. The room is bigger than you thought. You quickly see the table where your phone is still ringing silently. This is where the man is heading. Golden locks swings with every step he takes.

Now that you see him completely, you are right. He is indeed taller and much more muscular. His appearance tells you that he isn't in need of money. You deduce that he is not a member of some gross gang of drunkards. No you are in a bigger problem.

"Damn, this phone won't stop buzzing." Back turned, the stranger takes your phone in his hand. "What's the password, miss." He faces you this time.

"There is no password, sir" You copied his tone. You don't have a password because your husband is suspicious of his own wife.

"Uh. Boring." He unlocked it and nodded when it actually didn't have a password. You watch him go through all of your informations. You move one of your feet, you wanted to scratch it but couldn't.

Time passes like this. You look everywhere, searching for something to pick your attention while the stranger is still on your phone. It takes him lots of time to find what he wants, another man enters. You see him upside down, your head resting on the back of the chair.

"Stan." The other man raised his head. "Did you find something." This man has silver hair that doesn't move much when he walks to you.

"Nah. There isn't even something funny in here." 'Stan' let go of your phone and he too, walks to you. "So what do we do of her, Xe'?" Here it comes.

They start to argue on the topic but you stop listening. In brief, you were kidnapped by those two. It's not hard to guess who's fault it is. But what did he do? The question is picking on you.

"Excuse me, would one of you have the amiability to tell me what my husband did?" They stop talking and Stanley burst out laughing. Xeno isn't pleased at all. His fingers land violently on your chin and his face moves dangerously close. He seems to want to intimidate you, but you don't flinch.

"Your husband played a game and lost. We've been waiting for our rewards but nothing came." His voice is terribly low.

"I see. If it's money you want, his broke. He probably played with mine."

"We know that, doll. That's why you're here." Now you were fixed. Your husband did something wrong and you were gonna pay for him. You sighed. "Oh don't make that look, dear. He is the one that told us to take you if he loses." Your head raised quickly. What did he just say?

"What ?" Your husband really threw you out? And he dared to call you non-stop like he cared? For the first time, you felt anger against him. You had accepted the way he treated you but only because he was kind enough to take you as his wife. Your nails went in your skin, your teeth clenched.

So your husband used you as an exit card? He views your marriage only as something he can dispose of, right?

An idea got into your mind. A bad idea indeed. But what else can you do when you just got thrown away like this ?

"Can you guys get rid of a marriage certificate?" You asked out of the blue. Stanley was surprised by what you said. He looked at Xeno whose smile was growing wide.

"Yes. We can." Both Xeno and you looked at each other with determination, like you both understood what idea you had. Stanley, who obviously didn't get it, looked at you like a lost child.

"Wait, wait, wait. What are you guys thinking ?!" Xeno turned to look at his best friend while you smirked.

"I have a mission for you Stanley, can you do it?" Stanley nodded.

Oh god what is he diving into?!

·———————·

Like you had asked, your certificates of marriage was broken. You don't know how they did it or what connection they have to do so, but you are free from your now ex husband.

But this is only for a short period.

Unbeknownst to Stanley, Xeno and you had planned a revenge. He doesn't even know how you passed from prisoner to coworkers with his best friend.

And now he is wearing a white suit, waiting for you to get married. He really fell from his chair when you had announced to him that you will marry him next. Xeno had told him that he couldn't marry you because he was less husband material than him. Whatever that was about. He knew it was only for Xeno's entertainment.

Now that you are freshly new weds, you didn't go on vacation, instead the three of you prepared the downfall of your ex husband.

Getting married again was the first step.

You passed months with them. You would help Xeno's with his researchs. Even if they both were part of a kind of gang, they had normal activities most of the time. Only at night would they do the bad things.

You would spend all morning with Xeno, your opinion was helpful to him and having an assistant was useful. And of course you liked listening to him ramble about his results. You don't understand everything but you don't care. You love his voice, and if you really want to understand he is more than happy to teach you.

At noon, you prepare dinner. It's almost always quiet. Sometimes Stanley turns the TV on and you comment about it but usually you all don't speak while eating. It's cosy, you think.

Then in the afternoon you would go with Stanley to do some errands. He was a very good driver. You liked to look at him. The aura he has when he drives just hypnotises you. You help him to carry what he buys even if he always ends up carrying the majority. He appreciates your efforts. You are capable on your own and he acknowledges that.

When the evening comes. You follow them at different places. From what you understand, they are an organization that has different divisions. They are the bosses of one. You only saw one other division that was ruled by a guy with green weird hair. You were surprised to learn he was younger than you.

Most of the time they just patrol over the places they own. They told you they were in a peaceful year, the reason Xeno is okay to play with your revenge. You had actually thought of this. Why would they help you? Stanley told you he only does it because Xeno does. And Xeno does it because he liked your idea. You didn't ask more.

Of course, they are tracking your ex husband. Now that you are gone he is getting help from others. He told everyone how his precious wife disappeared and how sad he was. Without telling them that the money he takes from them goes to the casino.

You were really furious when you found out about his fake acting about you. How dare he pretend he is worried. He probably thinks you died by now. But you were waiting for him to fall in a deep hole.

You collected the names of the person helping him. You spread rumors in his back and some of them quit helping.

Xeno made sure he was continuing to spend time in the casino. He hired a mentalist called Gen to make sure he would never win a single bet.

And then it came. People that helped him were gone. Money he was losing never came back. He never won one of the games, Gen always told him the next one was the one but obviously it was only to ruin him.

It was time for you to enter. Accompanied by Stanley, you both walked to his table. He didn't recognize you at first. You were gorgeous in your outfit. And Stanley was even more magnificent.

But it finally clicked when he heard you talk. He yelled your name that loud and everyone turned to you.

"Oh my! If it isn't my ex husband!" You faked your surprise.

"Oh my god, name you are safe! I was so worried!" He is actually happy to see you. But only because he hopes you will come back to him. "Let's go back home now!"

"Home? Oh no no no, we are no longer sharing a 'home' dear"

"What do you mean? You have to come back with me."

"Come back with you? What nonsense are you saying?"

"We are married, you have to come with me!"

"Married ? No, we are not. Not anymore."

"What?! Since when?!"

"Since you throw me to death for your own good!" Everyone at the table was shocked. They all looked at him with disgust, whispering among themselves about this. "And don't dare pretend I'm a liar. I have all the proof that you wanna play."

"Even though. You're still married to me. I didn't sign shit ! You belong to me!" You laugh at his words.

"You see, we did actually divorce. And now, I'm married to this handsome guy over here. My pretty boy, Stanley" The last words weren't in the script, nor was the kiss you placed on his cheek.

You smiled at him with love. People here tend to love this kind of drama. With the scene you made, you were sure that your ex husband would be looked down in every casino he went to.

Stanley put his arms around your waist and smiled, your cheeks touching each other. You giggle at the feeling. It was nice. Real nice.

Your ex-husband wasn't that pleased about this. He was about to burst out of anger when Xeno appeared. He was here for the final act.

"Oh my! What do we have here! If it isn't my good client!" He faked his affection and placed himself next to him. The jerk you married before was stunned. He recognized Xeno, it was against him he lost. "I have to thank you. With your elegant loss last time, I took good care of your girl. Look, isn't she pretty with my best man?" It felt weird being talked like this by Xeno, but you knew he was only doing this for the play.

Now that Xeno himself had made the official what this man did to you, the people started to yell at him to get lost. It was satisfactory. Seeing him distressed by all the yelling at him.

"Now, now. Let's all calm down. As much as I am grateful for the gift, you are not welcomed here anymore. You can accompany yourself to the exit because my staff is better than this."

You could finally breathe. Your hand falls on Stanley's shoulder and you can't help but hug him. You know that after all this you will probably divorce him too. But you will cherish the sensation of feeling loved by this man. Him and Xeno.

Feeling you tense, Stanley hugs you bridal style and you leave the room. He enters Xeno's office and puts you on a chair. Your hand immediately clenches on the fabric of your clothes. Head down, you think you could cry. Stanley, sitting on the chair next to you, seems to have caught on what you feel.

"What is it dear. You seem kind of sad for someone that finally crushed her enemy." You open your mouth but not a single sound escapes. A minute passes before your head rises, little tears about to fall.

"I...I don't want it to stop." You feel dumb. You know they only did it because Xeno wanted some fun. But you needed to tell it before you disappeared from their life. "I never experienced this much happiness before. I felt at ease with both of you. I think...I think it's what I should've felt with my husband..." Your head goes back down, eyes closed as tears fell to the ground.

You heard Xeno rising from his chair. Stanley hand enveloped yours. You looked at him, surprised. He was smiling gently at you. Then you felt something kneeling next to you. Your eyes almost fell from your orbit when you saw Xeno, on the knee on the ground, hands showing you a little box with a ring similar to the one you have with Stan.

"Your right, name, I never felt that happy with someone else than Stanley. So won't you mind being mine too?"

And you jump on him, yelling so many 'yes'.

You may regret marrying your ex husband but, thanks to that you met your two new husbands. This time you can understand why your mom wanted you to get married.

It's been several days since I started this. I had a vague idea of the plot but had a hard time connecting my ideas. So I hope it still please you!

See you next time!

[cextile]

pick a pile reading ☆

how to read this pick a pile reading? ♡

the images above are your pick-a-pile options — see which image immediately pulls you in. If nothing stands out right away, take a moment to look at each pile/image. the one your attentions keeps coming back to is likely your pick. if more than one pile calls to you, trust that too. you can read both and take what resonates. and hey, if none of them feel like a match, no big deal. not every reading is meant for right now. come back another time — this reading isn’t going anywhere.

pile one ☆

cards pulled

six of pentacles reversed, eight of rods reversed, knight of pentacles reversed, ace of rods halfway, the star reversed

addressing different types in pile 1 take what resonates.

passive. that's the word for most of you guys.

the story I'm getting is that you guys have given up. It's not like you guys are completely hopeless, but you feel things are hopeless. whatever projects you're working on, whatever stuff you're working on, maybe you feel the need to just randomly give up on it?!

maybe you can't see it imagine seeing it through the end, but you have to see it through, ok!?!?!

orr maybe its that you do want to do the things that you have set out to be done, but it's just that you can't move. it's like you're frozen up or you think its just so 'meh' for you to finish your task.

your higher self wants to tell you that circumstances don't mean shit, right?

also they want to tell you to just brace yourself, slowly prepare yourself to look forward on what lies ahead of the road, and just start moving towards that goal. not running, just move, walk till your destination. idc how you do it. but move.

you'll get what you envision for yourself. but move.

on the other hand of this coin, if you're so goddamn desperate to get this done, for this to be finally over, to complete this project, and you're feeling desperate, to get it done anyhow!?! your high self wants to remind you of your boundaries.

you. do. not. lower. your. worth.

do not suck up to people, you will not lower your own self-worth in order to get what you want. what I'm not saying is that you will stop asking people for help. okay, I'm not saying that you guys need to stop asking people to give you an opportunity. what I am saying is that you guys do not need to literally lick someone's shoes and grovel at their feet to get something from them/or manupilate them, alr?

also, my group of people who feel sort of trapped, not in a suffocating life-threatening anxious way but in slightly breathless sort of restrictive sense about the thing in their life. i wanna tell you guys to take baby steps. small small actions you can do. take things one at a time, slowly and steadily, very, very slowly, and try and finish this thing that you're working towards, alright?

also ur higher self is all cold exterior huh. like my grandfather lol, slightly stern, wise and very very caring but just don't radiate all smiles and giggles.

plus the clouds just started rumbling, take it as a sign

pile two ☆

cards pulled three of swords reversed, four of rods reversed, two of swords, king of cups reversed, knight of pentacles

you guys can't just relax into this sense of security, esp with yourself can you? you know the vibe of the people who just stay in a bubble bath and drink wine, yeah? well, you guys are the exact opposite of that lmfao.

your highest self is gently nugding you to remove the needles in your heart. what that means all the kinds of pain that dont allow you to experience your emotions in an aunthetic way, and comes in the way of you living your life to the fullest. you’re not even fully feeling life right now, let alone living it. it’s time to let that go. bit by bit. stitch by stitch. the pain isn’t who you are, and it sure as hell doesn’t get to decide your future.

very specific message for some is that you’ll find your people. thats probably the reason some of your guys feel uneasy, your current group doesn't make you feel good.

also i think this reading is for the socially anxious people lol.

your higher self is very much at peace with herself and optimistic btw i like it. all gentle smiles.

you need to blindly trust yourself and gear yourself up mentally like a soldier heading for war.

actually, just scratch that & shift that perspective.

some of you have been in survival mode for so long that everything starts to feel like a fight to the finish.

what i meant was mental readiness — not this do-or-die tension, not panic, ok? just calm, grounded openness to whatever comes your way. be prepared for the unknown & also allow space for things to unfold without trying to control every outcome.

relaxing into that state of trust might not come easy, ik, but it’s worth working on trust me.

pile three ☆

cards pulled the three of swords, the four of swords reversed, the world reversed and the two of rods

okayy so I really wish you could see how beautifully the cards have turned up. they tell me the story so clearly rn, this is my fav pile <3

i have a condition for you pile 3, if you've been randomly/mindlessly scrolling on tumblr, i want you to stop for a second, take a deep breathe, and be present. i think this is a very deep message that might not strike immediately, so I want you to carefully read & think about it.

you know, there is this concept that has been taught to me as a child.

i wanna gently hold your hand and tell you,

sometimes, the world, संसार as I want to call it, pulls us so deeply into its maze of emotions, distractions & fleeting pleasures, that we start to hurt. It is a pain that permeates out heart & lingers with us emotional wounds for a long time. emotional heartbreaks, fighting with people, all these emotions that make us even less of a human, where is that going to take us when we turn to dust, and cease to exist on this earth?

you might not even realize that you are hurting, so absorbed in the facade of the external world, misguided from your true self. misguided from what makes your inner child happy.

take a moment to step back from the constant pull & push of this world, a chase that often leaves us feeling empty or unsettled. allow yourself to pause, breathe, and reconnect with what truly brings you peace. retreat, take your time to come back stronger, more grounded. also btw, you’re allowed to choose your virtues over chaos.

(chronically online people, this is ur sign to take ur social media detox pls)

so we had the world reversed, the four of swords reversed which shows a knight resting, retrieved from the world, & the three of swords which shows us the pain this world causes us right? now the next card is two of rods, and it shows a person showing a wand ready to use it to set out in the world. in the other hand, there is a pink glowing orb, the embodiment of inner vision. it speaks of self-guidance in the vastness of the outer world, led by the quiet certainty of one's inner light. it tells me navigate the outer world, yes—but let your soul be the compass.

also it's golden hour and the sun is shining so beautifully. this is immaculate because the sun’s presence showing that warmth, clarity, and renewal are always available to us.

come home to yourself.

that's it for this reading.

did my reading help?

with love,

Ananya ♡

[lin-sterling]

DRIP POST 2: E for Everyone Edition

this time it's not a remake per se, it's a re-release lol. this time with handy-dandy item codes to enable you - yes, you! - to partake in my fashion obsession.

simply click on the name of the outfit and it will take you to my godforsaken google doc and show you the codes for that outfit. should show up at the top of the page (give it a sec). hopefully I haven't borked anything.

let me know if there are any issues.

drip post 3 is being cooked as we speak but it will take some time.

IMPORTANT

you need to install some mods

you need to enable the console

don't paste an entire cell of codes into the console, they'll get cut off and you won't get all the items. copy and paste about 2-3 lines at a time

my document has the necessary info but I'm also providing instructions under the cut.

there's an overlap between some outfits so you might get several copies of one item. in this case just yeet them on the floor and let some bum pick them up. or sell them. who am I to tell you what to do.

↓↓↓

the console:

right-click on KCD2 in your Steam library

choose 'Properties'

select 'Launch Options'

put -devmode in the launch options

launch the game and press the tilde (~) key

use ctrl+c and ctrl+v to copy and paste the codes, then just hit enter

the mods:

Refined Garments

Outer Garments

Custom Clothing and Armor

More flower wreaths (there's one outfit that needs this for now but there might be more later)

the drip:

Henry

Black Knight v1, cuirass inside

this is MY HENRY, iconic outfit, never gonna give you up never gonna let you down

2. Black Knight v2, cuirass outside

3. Guardian Angel

my Henry doesn't usually go for white or silver, he's black&gold kind of guy, but I decided we need one outfit

4. Trosky Traveller (before the waspening)

not fully happy with this outfit but it's already err a historical one, I've already gone through Trosky wearing it so I won't retcon it haha

5. THE WASPENING

same shit here, it's a piece of my playthrough history now. weird, bright yellow history

6. Leipa Simp

and now I make new history

7. Bluebell

wasn't expecting this one, it just sort of happened and I weirdly like it

8. Shifty Fella

is he trying to steal your wallet? is his back hurting? why not both!

9. Horse Thief

up to no good this guy. steal your heart, steal your horse, get 60 groschen for his trouble... wait, horse industry is a scam!

10. Armed and Armoured Robbery

can't shoot straight because he's on his way to bisexual awakening

11. Mushroom Enthusiast

those mushrooms won't gather themselves, you know! *cronch*

12. Falconer

all hail the birbs

13. Noble Bastard

when you need something fancy but not too difficult to pull off

14. Night Reader

casual comfy outfit with optional reading glasses. read a nice book at 3 am and watch your boyfriend as he sleeps!

15. Dubious Doctor

impersonating a medical professional during "Fifth Commandment"

16. Reverse Ball and Chain

when you miss a fucker so much you start wearing his colours. except the yellow gambeson you've found had aggressively magenta belts and you had to reverse the order of colours. I figured clown shoes were appropriate in this situation

17. That Mine Is Mine

impersonating a rich fuck during "Via Argentum". rich people wear golden armour, right?

note: actually wearing armour while talking to Buresh is not recommended. apparently it makes you look like a homeless vagabond lol

18. Red Wedding

this wedding also ended in a bloody mess

19. Nostalgic

kcd1 starting outfit colours but now Henry can afford better clothes

20. Dandelion Dance

what a surprise, more yellow shit

Pebbles and her codes are gonna be in the reblog

↓↓↓

[mimimoou]

Malboro Red or Gold?

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Sofia's Sister!Reader

Summary: While he's busy over Sofia. His eyes drifts to another direction. One more closer than expected.

Notes: Hold me back, tight. Can't make a new blog and not write this hottie. I added a link on Rafe's lighter cuz it looks like him sorry :(. Also, I gave Kelce a last name but it's from his actor Deion Smith for like, fic purposes.

"Uh, babe. I can't find my—" Rafe pauses by the door, his hands slackens from his pockets trying to find his cigs.

"Cancer sticks?" You asked, glancing over your shoulder. You picked both of the packets and turned towards him, holding them out. You hear him chuckle. "Red or Gold?"

"Uh, the red one. Thank you." He doesn't bother to hide his smirk as he approaches you in long strides, getting there in only a few steps. As you give him the red one, his hand grazes yours, subtle, but enough for him to feel your hands.

He opens the lid and takes one up his lips, painfully slow, his eyes remain on your face, smirking when your face twists into a frown.

"You know why they're called cancer sticks right?" You say. Crossing your arms. "Its cuz they gi—"

"Give you cancer. I know," he shrugs.

He pulls out a lighter from his back pocket, flicking it open with one hand and lighting the tip of the stick up. The smell quickly permeates in your nose, forcing a sneeze and choking back a cough.

"You smoke?" He tilts his head, nudging the pack to you.

"Ugh," you cover your nose and mouth. "They smell poisonous. You know most people who experience second hand smoking die first than the one doing it?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. So you should stop." He chuckles, the deep rumble of his voice coursing through the house. He tilts his head back, laughing, and walks a few steps away from you.

"Maybe, maybe, the people who usually experience second hand smoking should, I don't know, avoid being around smokers?"

"W-well," you pause, gritting your teeth. "Some, sometimes they can't just avoid smelling smoke because what if, what if the smokers are the ones close to them? I've seen a lot of those here, either the parents, or siblings, or grandparents. And so in that situation, what can you even do?"

"Mhm. You have a point."

"But seriously, you have to stop. You're filling the house with smoke, Rafe. And for your information, I'm not old enough to smoke or drink in that matter, unlike—"

You stop yourself from finishing it. Shit. What on earth possessed you to say it.

"Go on," he urges, tilting his head. He didn't look upset, so there's that. He leans against the arm of the sofa. "Unlike?"

"Uh, unlike,"

He raises his brow. The shadow of a smirk long gone.

"Unlike, unlike! John B's crew! Yeah." You sigh, imagining yourself giving you a pat on the back. "I mean, they're like what, like seventeen or eighteen? Yet they always throw these crazy parties where they get drunk, sniff and smoke and like that,"

"Uh-huh." Rafe smirks again. "So, how exactly do you know about the uh, so called 'crazy' parties my sister and John B throw, huh?"

"What?"

"Oh, you know. Just curious, how do you know their parties are actually 'crazy', your words, not mine."

"I.." You're at a loss for words. None of your business obviously! But you can't say that obviously.

"What, like everyone their age bracket doesn't know? Everyone gets invited to those, so I would obviously hear about it."

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah-huh! And why are you so nosy for what?"

"Nosy??" He laughs.

"Yeah? Like mind your own beeswax girl."

"Girl??"

"Why are you asking me so many questions! Go back outside. Sofia is probs waiting for you for forever." You roll your eyes. "Alright, alright, chill."

"Yeah. Uh-huh. Yes. I think so? No! Wait— I said I'm coming okay!" You hurriedly grabbed your shoes and raced down the stairs, almost tripping at the last step.

"Yeah, my sister's driving me so— I live near you. Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

You groan. Despite the party just starting like an hour ago. Kate has been calling you nonstop telling you to leave already, but who the heck goes to a party early?

"Sof! We have to go!" You yell, entering the living room, but your sister was nowhere to be found.

"Sofia! I gotta go! The party's already started!" You looked around for her, your patience running very thin, she promised you she'd drive you after covering for her and RFE last time. So where was she?!

"Sofia! Sofi—"

"Your sister's not here," Rafe appears from the kitchen behind you. You frown and grit your teeth. If she's not here then where is she?

"She said it was an emergency or some kind. Left me here to chill. But I didn't know you had to go somewhere too."

"Well, my sister, who's totally gonna pay when she comes back, promised to drive me to Kate's. Remember the time she had to sneak out to you? Yeah, I covered for her, and a lot of times before that."

He throws a Dorito in his mouth before shrugging. "Your point being?"

"Now, listen to me alright."

"Yeah?" He raises his brow. Leaving the newly opened chips on the counter and making his way to the sofa behind you. "I'm listenin'"

"Okay, hear me out. Since my sister, who right now, owes me a shit ton of favors, isn't here. While you, the reason she needed a shit ton of favors from me, is,"

Rafe tilts his head, amused. He finds it entertaining how you're carefully explaining the whole expananza to him like he's an idiot. But he lets you be, given that he wants to keep on going.

You grimace.

"You understand right?"

"Uh-huh"

"So?"

"Soo?"

"Are you actually dumb? Did you trip your feet and bomb your head on the floor? Do you not get the gist of what I am saying?!"

He laughs.

He laughs. At your face.

He laughs at your face!

"I do, actually." Rafe rubs his buzzed head. "You want me to drive you to your party am I right?"

"Yes! Ugh finally! Thank you so much! Let's go, we have to go, I'm like late now." You glance at your phone.

12:30

Oh no.

"Not so fast, sunshine."

You froze, one foot mid-air outside.

"What do you mean?"

"Uhh, it's not here. How about HBO?"

"I didn't say yes did I?"

"Uh. You kind of did?"

"Did I?"

"Yes, now let's g—"

"Yep, do you guys have Netflix? I'm trying to watch that island movie—"

"W-what!? No, and—! Rafe, we have to go! Like- right now!"

"Rafe!"

"But I just don't get the hype with romance—"

"Rafe, I'm like so late rn, please I, ugh." You groan.

"That sucks."

"That sucks? Seriously? Your— okay. Wow. Cool."

He doesn't answer. Just the faint sound of the tv.

You grit your teeth and stomped in front of him.

"Look, you have a car. You have keys. You're dressed. Breathing. Mobile. C'mon just— Rafe please. I'm begging you."

His head tips back lazily. "Well, I was going to chill—"

"Chill?!" You scoff. "Y-you're literally here sitting doing nothing! This is my friend's friend's party, she's expecting me there! I need to go, please Rafe? Please, please, please!"

"What do I get?"

"Anything! Anything, I, I could cover for you, like I do with Sofia. But c'mon, we gotta go, like right now!"

"Aight, Aight. Go wait by the car. Need to find my keys."

"What, you don't keep your keys in your pockets?"

"You want to go to your party or nah?"

You roll your eyes and jog to his jeep outside. You catch a glimpse of him searching in the bowl of keys and nail clippers, then you see him disappear behind the arch walls of the kitchen.

You tap your foot impatiently on the ground.

Time check.

1:00

Fuckin—

"Rafe, what's taking so long?" You yell, standing on your tip toes to find him, he hasn't emerged since like forever after disappearing in the kitchen.

"Rafe!"

"Aight, Aight. I'm here. No need to knock your knockers off."

"Hahaha, very funny." He chuckles, opening the door for you before you launch yourself in. He follows behind as he turns the ignition on, his jeep roaring loudly in your somewhat peaceful neighborhood.

He drives away as fast as the turtles slowest speed.

"Can't you go any faster?"

"Well, I have my girlfriend's bossy sister in my car without a seatbelt who's still 'too' young to smoke or drink."

"Are you deadass."

"Yes I'm deadass. Now put on a seatbelt."

"Ugh, fine." You roll your eyes, making sure he sees you aggressively pulling on the belt and fastening it around you.

"Kay, now can we go faster?"

"Yes, ma'am," He smirks, stepping on the pedals harder. You gave yourself a victory cheer internally and a pat on the back as you see the meter run past 60.

But it doesn't stop there. It goes past 80, then 100, then 120, then so on and so forth. You gulp and grip the center console with your life as the meter runs even faster.

"Uh, Rafe. By fast, I didn't mean, deadly, car crash fast."

"What?" He yells, smirking. He doesn't hear you from the wind howling outside the car. You opted for open windows earlier ever since you smelled something funky in here months ago after he and Sofia drove you to school.

"I said we're about to crash into something!"

"I can't hear you!" He laughs as he shakes his head to you, gesturing his ears.

"Rafe, slow down!"

"I thought you wanted to go fast!" You frown, making an offended face. "I thought you can't hear me!"

"Depends on the wind!"

"What the fuck does that even mean?!" Your other hand was now gripping on the car door for dear life as he swerves the corner, making you collide with the car door.

"Rafe, we're seriously gonna die!"

"No we won't, sweetheart!"

"Rafe, I still want to go to college!" You whine, your toes curling in your shoes like that helps you.

He finally stops in front of a familiar house. You don't open your eyes as you continue gripping the car door and the center console tightly.

"And you will." He says. You hear him shuffling in his seat before you opened your eyes slowly, a heavy sigh of relief blows past your lips, which you know you've been holding.

Your grip doesn't falter as he reaches to your side. His hands resting on the seat beside your head, and the other beside your hand on the center console. His smell invades your system, his dior suavage you know all too well. He tilts in his in front of you, your noses almost touching one anothers.

"Well?"

You don't answer, just staring into the oblivion of his eyes, your actually debating if you'll poke it, or kick him in the shins.

"Well?! Well is what you're going to say after almost dying?!"

"Woah, sweetheart. Calm down."

"Be grateful I'm not here long enough to scold you. Now let me go," You grit your teeth and shove him into his seat. He accepts his defeat and raises his hands up, chuckling as he falls back into his seat. You unbuckle your seatbelt and angrily jumped down his car.

"And don't forget to drive me home too if you don't want me snitching on you."

"Yes, ma'am" He nods, amused. "I gotta go now, see you—"

The house was empty, save for a few police officers inside and your friend crying in front of them.

"Kate.. Kate!

"Hey, don't go in there." Rafe whisper-yells behind you. You hear him exit the car and jogging behind you. "Look like party and kids don't agree that much."

"I ha-have to go, Kate—"

"Kate's gonna drag you down with her if you show your face in there. We have to go." He holds you by your arm, trying to drag you back his car.

"But Ka—"

"Now." Your lower lips tremble, you've never seen police this close before, not that you were scared of them, but the thought of being arrested sends shivers down your spine. Especially when the party that was busted was the party you were supposed to go. What would've happened if you got there much earlier? Would you be at the station right now? Your parents and your sister with you too to bail you out? You sigh, not knowing if it's of relief or worry, maybe a little bit of both.

"You okay?" Rafe cuts through your train of thought. You contemplate whether to lie or just keep your mouth shuts. You chose the latter.

Rafe drives more slower, he stops beside a convenience store and opens the windows. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces you.

"Hey," He says, almost too gentle for him.

"Hey.." He says it again, this time, he reaches for your face, cupping your cheeks in his abnormally large hands, they cover the whole of your cheeks. "Hey, look at me, look at me."

Your lip trembles again, but you shift your eyes up to him. "Don't think about it alright? None of those concerns you. Your friend will be okay, I know her parents, they won't arrest her, and even if they will—"

"They will!?" You sob.

"No, no! No they won't! It's just some dumb party okay? Maybe, maybe a neighbor called on them cuz they were being too loud, just normal shit okay?"

You were full on sobbing, you were scared of the police, the thought of them sends another shiver down your spine.

"I wore— my—my new clo—clothes b—because I thought—" You inhale, almost annoyed that you couldn't speak clearly. You sob even more when you remember Kate's face from earlier.

"Hey, It's alright, it's alright." He gently strokes your hair, drawing circles on your back as he hugs you, you face unintentionally settles beside his neck, his smell fills your nose and you continue to cry.

"My— my outfit— I— I can't— even—" You exhale, bawling your eyes out. "I dre—dressed myself— I wanted t— to wear these— I" You wail into his neck, your tears staining his polo. Your hands took a grip on his biceps, his muscles making your hand look miniscule next to it.

"I swear— all Kate do—does is get us in trouble. I'm— so ki—killing her when this is— done."

Rafe nods along, trying to stop himself from laughing, and so he just appears to be smirking among prying eyes.

"Uh-huh,"

"Ye-yeah, I'm gonna wreck— her so, so— so much— she's gonna—" no matter how much you've stopped crying, your sobbing spasms didn't seem to be done with you. Rafe moves you into his lap discreetly while you remained in a hiccup cycle, to busy crying and bawling your eyes out.

He smiled smugly to himself, positioning your legs so it rests on top of the center console.

After what seemed like an eternity, you eventually calmed down. Slumping on Rafe's chest with your eyes staring into space. You can't help but worry about Kate, the police won't usually raid a party full of teens except when there's like drugs and whatsoever.

"You hungry?" Rafe's chest rumbles as he asks you. "I don't know.."

"You don't know if you're hungry?"

"I don't kno—"

"Yep, you don't know." He clicked his tongue while poking the inside of his cheek.

"C'mon." He opens the car door on his side, his right arm loops around your waist, scooping you up and carrying you outside. When you guys land on the ground, he gently lowered you to the ground, steadying you before letting you go, almost hesitantly.

You watch him as he reaches for his wallet inside, stuffing it in his pockets along with his keys, he grabs your bag along too, holding it on the bottom and letting the straps fall.

"I'm not hungry."

He doesn't say anything when he closes the car door with a quiet click. He doesn't say anything when he hovers his hand on the small of your back, guiding you across the parking lot. He doesn't say anything when he opens the store's door when you guys enter, the mixed smell of ramen and cancer sticks permeates around you.

You cover your nose and mouth, an involuntary cough tears through you. Rafe glances down to you then he reaches to his pockets. He finds his handkerchief and hands it to you to which you quickly grabbed and covered your nose with.

"Thank you," you say, eyes scanning the shelves without pause. Your fingers skim over the freezer, trying to find your usual flavor.

You slide open the freezer and grab your fav, walking over to Rafe who the clerk was passing a new pack of cigarettes to. You frown, but don't say anything, handing him the icecream before flying into your own world of window shopping across the isles.

As much as you want to stop Rafe from buying the cigarettes, who would pay for the icecream when he decides to actually get upset and ditch you? So you wander along the isles. Distracting yourself from imagining his blacking lungs.

The store was mostly empty, save for the cashier and the drunk hobo outside. Rafe finds you quickly, sitting on one of the tall counters. He sits beside you, sliding the new pack of cigarettes in his pockets. But before you could lay your fingers on the icecream, he grabs it and opens the packaging, then he holds the icecream on front of you.

You throw him a questioning eyebrow.

"Want me to eat it then?" He flicks the icecream to you when you didn't take it.

You roll your eyes and take it from him, hid hand brushing yours once again.

The both of you settle in a weirdly comfortable silence, with him staring into the horizon outside and you licking the icecream, contented.

You look at your half eaten icecream, debating whether to say something. What would you even say? The embarrassment was slowly dawning on you. The loud, shameless bawling, the nonstop sobbing spasms, and don't forget you sat on his lap.

You bite your lip, shame stirring in your stomach. You were about to say sum when he overtakes you first. You almost sigh in relief that he does.

"Still want to party or nah?" Your eyes widen as you look up to him. Even when sitting down he was tall, huge.

"You're going to a party?"

"Well," he clicks his tongue. "I actually planned on skipping since your sister wanted a movie night, but, uh, I'm flexible."

"Really?! Who's party is it?" He chuckles as you bounce on your chair. "Don't get too excited. It's Kelce's, his parents are out for a while so he wanted to 'take' advantage of it."

"Kelce?! Like the Kelce Smith? What the he—" you stop yourself, biting your tongue.

"What? You scared to cuss of some shit?"

"Uh, no. It's actually bad to so like—"

"Uh-huh burns your lungs, aight, aight."

"What— ugh, you idiot." You roll your eyes.

"So, you game?"

"Uh, yeah, I so am. I don't want to waste this outfit I worked so hard on."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Had to like take more shifts than usual for the shipping,"

He nods along as you yap about your outfit. A grin decorating his lips.

"Well— let's go!" You yell, making eye contact with the clerk who gave you a mom look to shut up, you wince and mouth her a sorry before standing up and dragging Rafe by his arm.

[hymless]

Can I ask for items to be Converted to Male Frame?

Ez answer. Yes! I understand not everyone wants what I want, so this is why I'm going to try & allow suggestions rn. But I do have a few rules, okay? If it gets out of hand, I will stop taking any.

Plz read Rules below cut. (I don't want to have a giant ass spam post on your dash)

Required:

1-3 items asked for Nicely

The LINK to those items OR the CORRECT name & Creator of that item. Anon or Not (Media is on in my Asks)

& Finally...

I AM NOT PERFECT, OKAY?

I DO NOT know how to do slider heels & squishy thighs yet. So, I will not be doing those items till I learn okay?

*No, I will not be doing: (As of RN)

- Slider Heel shoes - Squishy thighs - Shoes (As of Rn. I haven't tried them yet.)

Q) Are you open to taking suggestions?

A: Yes, I am! I know not everyone is going to want only what I want, so I am willing to do some suggestions. But there's a few rules with this.

Please only ask for 1-3 items at a time. I want anyone who asks politely to get a chance to wear what they dreamed for their sim. (Anon will be going off if I feel like someone is spamming requests. SO please be kind & don't ruin it for everyone. Much appreciate non anon asks, but I understand not wanting to be known.) I'm not sure on how many requests I'll get, but if things get crazy, I may not take suggestions for a minute. (But I’ll still probably write it down for the future)

PLEASE for the love of everything, BE SPECIFIC. Telling me "You should convert some items from this Creator" is VERY Vague. PLEASE tell me what item. Okay? I don't feel like going through every cc item they have to choose what I want, especially if I may not care for their items in the first place. It's not too complicated to say, 'I want this specific item by this creator.' Okay. Cool.

I WILL NOT be doing SUPER HIGH POLY items. Like super alpha cc. Those that are like 50k? & over. No, that’s way too much. My computer will literally pass. Good maxis match & <40k poly hopefully. If you don’t know the poly count, that's fine. I’ll probably check it b4 committing to converting.

I WILL NOT be converting items that work fine by unlocking it through S4S. Like hair, earrings, piercings, glasses, hats (actual hats) leggings & socks (not 3D ones, sometimes they work tho). Majority of the time those work by unlocking restrict opposite gender. So, I will not be converting those. This is really for clothes & accessories.

If it is a BRAND-NEW, paywalled item, you’re going to have to sit a minute. I can’t magically convert something if I don’t have access to getting it, alright? You'll have to wait until it’s free for me to post it too, so I don't get anyone biting me alright? Sorry <3

Be Patient! Do NOT rush me. You will get your item when it comes out.

Q: How Long does it usually take to get an item suggested?

A: It depends. If the item doesn't cause trouble, then I should get it done pretty quickly. BUT, do not still expect everything requested to be done in a day. I'm not rushing myself, otherwise things will be messy. & I'll more than likely be releasing it in sets. (of other items I've converted or what was asked for) But I will try to get asked for items done as soon as I can.

7. BE RESPECTUFUL to ME! I am still doing ALL of this in MY TIME. I still make my OWN CC. I DO NOT take any sort of donations for anything I do. So DO NOT be an ass to me & rush me for what I am GENEROUSLY doing for you. Sometimes I'm not going to feel like converting cc. I don't have to do anything for you, Got it? BUT I am out of the goodness of my heart & for our pretty boi lovers.

Q) What about a creators set?

A: Ehhh we will see. I'll keep note on it. Maybe if several ask for it, then I'll look into it. If its not too many items in a set, I'll more than likely do it. BUT if it's like 20+ items... I'll ask for you to pick certain items. Maybe I will do the whole set over time, but it's not guaranteed. It still take me HOURS to do some of these convo's if I have problems.

-Thank you for reading!

I will add onto this if things change

If you actually red this post & request an item, include eel in your ask for shits & giggles. I wanna see who actually got this far

[classica-meretrix]

Family Resemblance

pairing: percy jackson x aphrodite!reader genre: fluff content/warnings: reader isn't actually in this, just mentioned. piper and leo are here for plot, use of y/n, mentions of a quest summary: percy meets the goddess of love and notices a shocking family resemblance to one of his friends back home

"Let's get the girdle and get out of here," Percy huffed. "I don't want to stay any longer than we need to."

"Couldn't agree more," Piper muttered.

Percy led the way down the path, steering clear of as many tourists as they could. They were all dressed for the warm weather, buzzing about how excited they were to see the attraction, though they were all headed away from the beach. Percy trudged ahead, trying to not let it bother him.

The path opened out to a thin stretch of grey sand, completely empty despite the crowds they'd just passed. The water was a shimmering teal, lapping at the shore. A monstrous rock jutted out from the beach, surrounded my smaller clusters.

One rock however, stood out amongst the rest. It sat alone, maybe twenty feet from shore. It was darker than the others, and for the most part fairly round. Atop stood a woman in a long billowing dress, a train of white fluttering in the breeze. She faced away from them, facing the ocean. It might've just been the distance, but Percy couldn't quite figure out what she looked like.

By Piper's sigh, Percy was certain that was the goddess. Though it wouldn't have been hard to figure out. Even without being able to decipher her appearance and her facing away from them, he could still tell she was shocking beautiful.

"Wow," Leo said, his mouth agape. "So that must your mom."

"Yep." Piper didn't sound particularly happy to be here, her tone exasperated.

"Let's get this over with." Percy started towards the shore, Piper and Leo following. He had met the love goddess before, and it hadn't been the most pleasant experience. She had an affinity for meddling, and given the past few days, that was the last thing he needed.

Once they reached the shoreline they stopped, Piper and Leo each coming to flank Percy.

"Do you think she knows we're here?" Leo asked.

"Lady Aphrodite!" Percy called. The goddess didn't react. She looked like a statue, completely still besides her hair and dress floating behind her in the breeze.

"Mom!" Piper yelled into the wind. Nothing.

"Can we like... Throw something at her?" Leo suggested, eyeing up the baseball sized rocks along the beach.

"We can't hurl things at a goddess!" Piper protested, giving him a look of disbelief.

"We're going to have to swim." Percy stepped forward as he spoke, the waves lapping his shoes.

"Okay, fish boy. One problem. We aren't quite accustomed to the water," Leo reminded.

"The water's pretty choppy," Piper added.

"Trust me. I'll have the waves carry us."

"Whatever, man." Leo held his hands up in surrender, wading into the sea. The bright blue foamed around his ankles as it hit him.

Percy stepped further into the water, willing it to carry them forward. Piper let out a shocked squeal as the sea grabbed her, pulling her in. They were at the rock in no time, the waves even more pliable then usual, almost as if Aphrodite was pulling them towards her. But that was impossible, she had no control over the sea. Right?

The water threw them onto the stone, landing with harsh thuds. Leo groaned, pushing himself to his knees.

"You gotta work on that dismount, man."

"It wasn't me," Percy struggled out, trying to catch his breath as he stumbled to his feet.

The rock was plenty big enough for the four of them. Aphrodite stayed unmoving, watching the waves as if they weren't there.

"Uh... Is she okay?" Leo questioned. Piper had become eerily quiet, not looking at her mother.

"It's it beautiful?" The goddess finally spoke, her voice as rich as fresh honey. "I was born from the very seafoam that surrounds this rock. This water is the essence of love." Her voice was dreamy as she spoke, as if in a trance.

"Mom, we're here about—"

"The girdle," Aphrodite answered, turning around. Leo took a sharp gasp of air as she spun, clearly floored by his first impression of the goddess. Percy and Piper however kept their cool, having become somewhat accustomed to her beauty. "Yes, I know."

Aphrodite's form seemed to flicker, her hair changing colors, her features molding into one version after another, each more beautiful than the last. She settled quickly however, on a form similar to the one Percy had seen her in before, but this time something seemed... different.

He couldn't deny the family resemblance between the goddess and Y/N. They looked practically identical. Sure, there were hints of Piper in the facade, but only in the small details they shared.

"Well," Piper began. "Where is it?"

"Oh," Aphrodite sighed. "I'd love to give it to you, but I'm afraid it's in the water." She gazed out at the blue again, a forlorn look in her eyes. Percy had the urge to comfort her, tell her it'd be okay, dive into the water, anything

What was wrong with him?

"The water?" Piper questioned.

"Yes, I'm afraid Zeus wasn't too happy with me after Hera borrowed it again. Zeus caught on much quicker this time, and he wasn't too happy about it. As they say, all is fair in love and war."

Percy was only half listening, distracted by the way the goddess' eyes sparkled just the same as Y/N's, or how her hair fell just the same.

"I never noticed how much they look alike," he muttered, mostly to himself. Aphrodite turned to him, a warm, knowing smile on her face.

"What?" Leo asked, seemingly in his own trance.

"Y/N. I've never noticed how much she looks like her mother."

Leo's face screwed up. "What?" he repeated. "Not at all."

Percy turned to him confusion. How couldn't he see it? There was no missing the way they even moved the same.

Piper cleared her throat, regaining their attention. She stared down at the rock, a thick blush across her cheeks.

"This girdle?" she reminded.

"Yes, yes," Aphrodite said. "Why don't you—" She pointed to Percy. "—fetch my girdle, then maybe I can help you with your little problem." There was a twinkle in her eye, one he learned years ago not to trust when it was coming from the gods, but her words threw him off.

"What problem?"

The goddess only laughed, a light, melodic sound. "How sweet. You will find my girdle a mile out, but beware, it is closely guarded by a cetus."

"A what?" he asked.

"Go along now!" Her voice was cheerful, waving him past her. He walked to the edge of the rock, where she had been standing, casting a glance back towards his friends.

"As for you two," Aphrodite continued, with complete disregard for Percy. "How about some tea?"

[bloody-bee-tea]

Emotional Spring 2025 Day 23 - Don't leave me alone

Katsuki throws an annoyed look at the clock. It's way past 2am now and that means it's way past his bedtime but Shinsou is still not home and that means Katsuki can't go to bed.

Usually he wouldn't wait up for him—he'd never get any sleep like that, with Shinsou being an underground hero—but Katsuki knows that today was a special mission, one that made Shinsou worry for days before today and in Katsuki's experience special missions tend to go wrong one way or the other.

So, he's waiting up.

Katsuki checks his phone for the hundredth time in the last hour but still, there are no new calls.

He's one of Shinsou's emergency contacts, with the agency as well as his medical contact, right after Aizawa and Yamada, should they not be there, simply because he and Shinsou live together and it's convenient like that.

But tonight Aizawa and Yamada are on a mission of their own, in a different town no less, and so if anything were to go wrong today, Katsuki would be the first to know.

It's probably a good sign that no one called him yet, but it doesn't help to alleviate any of the worry he feels. He and Shinsou are—friends in a way; definitely more than just flatmates, that's for sure and while Katsuki is used to always being low-key worried about all his friends, it's somehow worse with Shinsou.

His quirk is powerful—incredibly so, especially with all the training he did on it, but his quirk leaves him with no bodily enhancements and should someone figure out how to silence him or god forbids, steal his voice, then Shinsou has to rely on his hand-to-hand combat.

Which he's damn good at, Katsuki knows that first hand, but it's hard to trust in that when there are such incredibly powerful quirks out there.

"Fuck," Katsuki hisses under his breath because he promised himself he wouldn't think about all the things that could go wrong, about all the ways this mission could go sideways and Shinsou could get killed and yet here he is, doing exactly that.

He gets up to get himself another coffee and even though he'll suffer tremendously for it tomorrow he is determined to stay awake until Shinsou comes home. Or his phone rings.

Katsuki really fucking hopes he doesn't have to accept such a devastating call—not now and not ever—but in their line of work it's always a possibility, and Katsuki damn well knows that.

Doesn't mean he has to like it, though.

He has just finished his coffee, running aimless circles through the apartment, when he hears the front door.

Katsuki freezes for a moment, before he almost drops his coffee cup in his haste to get to the door.

"Shinsou?" he breathes out and will never ever admit to it and then he comes to a screeching stop when Shinsou fully enters the apartment.

His clothes are torn in more places than Katsuki cares to contemplate and even though there are white bandages peaking through, most of them are turning redder with every second that passes.

"What happened to you?" Katsuki blurts out and Shinsou blinks at him, one of his eyes already swelling shut and there's a nasty, curved cut on his chin that makes Katsuki go cold.

Someone did try to go for his voice then.

"Work," Shinsou says, as smartass as ever, and while Katsuki has to fight against rolling his eyes, he's also incredibly relieved because a smartass Shinsou means an alive Shinsou and that's really all Katsuki was hoping for this night.

"They let you leave like this?" he demands to know as he carefully pulls Shinsou deeper into the apartment, so he can at least close the door behind him.

"Nah, I slipped away before they could ship me off to the hospital," Shinsou groans out as he bends down to take off his shoes and Katsuki would like to snap at him that he's going to do it, but before he can do so, Shinsou kicks his shoes off.

"Why the fuck would you refuse medical treatment when you look like absolute shit?" Katsuki hisses out because what if it's something more serious, what if the paramedics missed something and there are internal injuries and Shinsou is about to keel over and die on Katsuki?

"I always look like shit, as you like to remind me," Shinsou tells him with a small smirk but drops it soon enough in favour of a pained gasp when he tries to take off the top of his hero suit.

"Let me, you fucking dumbass," Katsuki says and slaps his hands away, before he steers him towards the bathroom.

He's not about to deep clean the hallway, there's just no way, so Shinsou will have to bleed all over their tiles instead.

Shinsou doesn't say anything until he's seated on the toilet, his chest exposed so Katsuki can better survey the damage and he doesn't think they have enough bandages at home to deal with all of this.

"I just wanted to be home," Shinsou mutters out through clenched teeth when Katsuki peels one blood-soaked bandage after another off.

It takes Katsuki a moment to piece the conversation back together but when he finally does he's filled with something almost soft and why the fuck does it have to be Shinsou who makes him feel like that?

"You should have gotten checked out," he grumbles, though he can't deny that it's good, having Shinsou home, even as hurt as he is, because it means he's here and not dead and that is what Katsuki was so very afraid of after all.

"I did," Shinsou says with a pointed look at the ever-growing pile of dirtied bandages and Katsuki stops to pinch the bridge of his nose because this motherfucker really knows how to push all his buttons.

"Sorry," Shinsou whispers after a moment and tilts his head back until he can rest it against the wall.

There's a faint cut on his throat, nothing more than a thin line, and some papercuts are worse than this, and yet it makes Katsuki freeze.

"They try to go for your voice?" he asks as he reaches out to trail his fingers down the column of Shinsou's throat, even though the answer should be obvious.

"Yeah. Got me figured out real fast, this time. I think I either have to take an extended break or get another strategy or something, because word of my quirk's been spreading."

"Damn," Katsuki mutters and Shinsou shrugs even though it makes him hiss in pain.

"It was to be expected. Underground might be forever but undercover is not and Aizawa's been telling me I've been pushing it as it is."

He might sound all blasé about it, but Katsuki knows him better than that. Shinsou loves undercover work because despite all the shit he sees during it, all the fucked up stuff he has to do, he feels as if he's doing something.

Katsuki isn't quite sure how he's going to deal with it when he can't do it anymore, but he figures that's a problem for another time.

Right now the still bleeding wounds littering Shinsou's body certainly take precedence.

"Can you lift your arms for me?" Katsuki asks, a wet towel at the ready and Shinsou sends him a murderous glare before he clenches his teeth together and lifts his arms.

His face drains of colour and Katsuki thinks they might be looking at more than just a few cuts and open wounds.

"You break any of your ribs?" Katsuki asks as he gently cleans off the blood and going by the purple bruise on his chest the answer is definitely yes.

"What do you think?" Shinsou grumbles, clearly struggling to hold the position and Katsuki is quick to clean everything up before he tells him to lower his arms again.

"Should have gone to the hospital. If I find you dead in your bed in the morning, I'm going to kill you." Katsuki pauses and thinks for a moment. "Fuck, Aizawa is going to kill me and I don't even deserve it."

His words make Shinsou huff out a laugh, closely followed by a pained groan and Katsuki presses his lips together in apology.

"Lets get this wrapped up, so you can sleep it off."

Katsuki leans forward to wrap the bandage around Shinsou's torso, not bothering to tell him to lift his arms again when they can do it like this, too but when he looks up his eyes meet Shinsou's and everything goes quiet for one, terrifying moment.

It feels a lot like that one time on the couch, that one moment they don't talk about, where both of them were leaning in, where Katsuki thought about kissing Shinsou and where Shinsou's eyes definitely dropped down to his lips and then they still both didn’t do anything about it and Katsuki freezes.

Shinsou does too, doesn't even breathe from the looks of it and the moment stretches on into infinity until it snaps when neither of them move yet again,  and Katsuki goes back to wrapping Shinsou's wounds as if nothing had happened.

Maybe nothing did happen; he no longer knows with Shinsou.

"Why are you still awake?" Shinsou whispers out, his breath hitting the top of Katsuki's head and making him shiver and Katsuki almost snarls at him.

"Cause you were worried about this stupid mission," he snaps out and hopes Shinsou doesn't read too much into it.

But of course he's not that lucky.

"And you were worried about me," he adds, doesn't even make it a question and Katsuki would love to tell him that he's being fucking stupid, but he can't find it in him to lie to him like that.

"Shut up," he grumbles out instead and finally ties off the last of the bandages.

They are not immediately soaked red again, so Katsuki allows himself some faint hope that maybe these bandages will hold till the morning.

"When do you have to go back in?" he asks, because Shinsou's agency likes to run him into the ground and since he didn't go to the hospital they'll probably assume he's good to go again almost immediately.

"I've been put on indefinite undercover leave until they can figure out if I'm a one-trick pony," Shinsou mutters, something bitter to his voice. "I don't have patrols scheduled for the rest of the week, though."

"Small mercies," Katsuki says and guides Shinsou to his feet with a hand on his arm. "Then go catch some shut-eye, gods knows you need it, eyebags."

"My most fetching feature," Shinsou says, giving him a wide smile and Katsuki rolls his eyes at him.

He follows Shinsou all the way to his bedroom afraid that he’s going to keel over any moment, where he hovers in the doorway.

"You need some water or some shit?" Katsuki asks, unsure all of a sudden about what he's doing and it doesn't get better when Shinsou sits down on the bed and just looks at him for a moment.

"Don't leave me alone."

It's said so quietly that for a moment, Katsuki isn't sure if it even came from Shinsou but when he bites his lower lip and turns his head away, it becomes pretty obvious that Shinsou really just said that.

For a moment, Katsuki is frozen where he stands, doesn't know what to do but when he sees Shinsou's face fall, he moves on instinct.

"You better not be a blanket hog," Katsuki snipes out and Shinsou tenses for one, horrible second, before he goes soft and climbs on the bed completely.

"You'll just have to see," he mutters as he slides under the covers and very notably takes the spot near the wall, which leaves Katsuki between him and the door.

"You're safe here," Katsuki tells him even though he knows that sometimes it's not that easy after a harrowing mission and Shinsou closes his eyes and lets out a slow breath.

"Yeah. You're here after all."

It's a lot of trust; trust, Shinsou usually doesn't express towards Katsuki and Katsuki hates to admit how much that really means to him.

"Yeah," he simply agrees and tucks the blanket in around them.

Katsuki stays on his back, in a position that allows him to see the door even though he's mostly doing that to appease Shinsou but he silently congratulates himself for a smart decision when Shinsou shuffles closer and presses his forehead against Katsuki's shoulder, letting out a long, slow breath and melting into the mattress.

Katsuki's been awake long past his usual time and he should be falling asleep almost immediately, but instead his mind spins and he can't help but to wonder.

It's been two times now; two times where something almost happened but didn't and Katsuki is not sure he can take much more of that.

"Hey, troll doll," he whispers into the dark, almost with no hope because Shinsou must be exhausted and likely fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow but he's met with an inquisitive hum and his stomach twists with nerves.

"Are we ever going to do something about that?" he asks and hopes that Shinsou understands what he means. "I mean that was twice now."

"Mhh," Shinsou hums out. "So I wasn't imagining it," he mutters into the dark and Katsuki goes hot.

So there was something between them.

"All good things come in three," Shinsou goes on and reaches out to tangle his fingers with Katsuki's. "Do it again tomorrow and we can do something about it."

It's a promise, one that makes Katsuki's heart flutter in his chest and he cranes his head around to press a kiss to Shinsou's wild hair while he squeezes his hand.

"Alright."

[the-sprog]

Shadow calls him pathetic because of the entire display. Nicky tells him to fuck off. Cue pearl clutching from everyone else and a facepalm from Tails.

"You think you're so much better than me, don't you? And for what?"

"I am better than you. I am the Ultimate Lifeform-"

"Gaia, do you have anything else going on for you? Are you going to hold onto that stupid title forever?"

*glare*

*takes a step towards shadow*

Amy gets between them telling them to calm down. Shadow scoffs and teleports away.

Silence.

Amy starts to worry because with Sonic unreachable and Shadow pissed at them, they're more vulnerable to Eggman's attacks. Nicky tries to reassure them, saying Amy is strong and Tails has his gadgets and Knuckles will help, but Knuckles says he can't play babysitter as he has the Master Emerald to keep safe, especially now that Eggman knows he wasn't at Angel Island, and Shadow will inevitably make that fact known to Rouge, too. So he leaves.

This freaks out Brenda, who takes Nicky's hands in hers. "Nicky... You should come home with us."

"What?" Pulling his hands away.

"You didn't want Anita to join this team, so you understand, don't you? You understand how difficult it was for me when you told me you did."

"Mom-"

"I know you said you weren't in the front lines -that you weren't involved in the fighting- but look at what happened today!"

"It was only because I joined the picnic. I usually stay by myself-"

"But that's not good either! You can't isolate yourself, Nicky! You can't be hanging out only with Tails and Sonic and Amy, or bunker down in you bedroom or in that laboratory of yours."

"I have other friends! I've been going to school in person now that we've settled down! I have... I have friends."

Silence again.

"I think you should go back to where you're staying, mom. It's getting late. Wouldn't want you to travel when the sun's out."

"Nicky-"

"it's been fun, I'm glad we saw each other. Have a good night."

"It's- we'll still be here for your birthday. At least let's do something together, ok?"

"... Sure."

After his mom and sister leave, so does he, not sparing Amy or Tails a glance. Shedding his clothes, he gets his shoes back and puts his contacts, and runs to Shadow's apartment in Central city. The feeling of running freely at whatever speed he wished fills him with immense euphoria, after a day of taking things slow.

He doesn't receive a warm welcome, but he also doesn't get the door slammed on his face. So he forces himself inside, avoiding eye contact with Rouge, and storms off to Shadow's room.

Neither of them have ever been fans of heart to hearts. Shadow likes to monologue, but his feelings are something he keeps tight to his chest. Sonic is the type to stew and mask and explode.

Predictably, they stay silent for a while. At least, until Shadow tells him to say his piece or gtfo. Begrudgingly, Sonic admits his insecurities over Nicky not being good enough. To Shadow, this is bullshit. They're the same person. How could "Nicky" not be enough if "Sonic" is? But Sonic doesn't stop even when Shadow points it out. He talks about the times Tails would look at him with wide eyes when he said something "smart", how Amy would scoff and roll her eyes when he got into a passionate rant over something she deemed too "dorky" for the saviour of Mobius, how people looked at him with strained smiles and weird... Condescension when he tells them he knows quite a bit about maths and coding and biochemistry. Because it's easier if the cocky hero is also dumb, so he needs to play the part because no one wants "Nicky" to save them.

At this point, Sonic is pacing in the room, breathing getting heavier as his voice gets louder.

Shadow doesn't reply, but he sighs. It's not something he can fix, he knows that. And it's not his job to, not really. He could wash his hands of this whole thing, but it feels wrong to abandon Sonic when he's in trouble. Though, this is not the kind of trouble usually Shadow helps him with, he supposes it's the only kind Sonic can't really deal with by himself.

He's not one to beat around the bush, so he says that "Amy is going to be pissed with you. She'll probably cry and scream at you for keeping her in the dark. She's going to want to know and she's going to be heartbroken that you didn't tell her when you met -or at least soon after. It's not like the burden of keeping in touch falls on you -she didn't make any effort to contact Nicky in all these years. But she's going to be upset anyways. She's going to have questions after today. And you're going to tell her-" Sonic opens his mouth but Shadow doesn't let him interrupt. "-because if you don't she's going to create an entire scenario in her head and get upset about things that didn't actually happen. If you tell her yourself, you can also explain yourself and apologies to each other. Say what you told me, and she'll come around. Eventually."

"Ugh. Another feelings talk? She's going to be happy about that at least." Once again, silence. "What do I do with my family? Other than Tails I mean."

Shadow looks at him deapan. "I'm not your therapist, you do know that right?"

"Hey! You've done a pretty good job so far! Just help me out here. Please?"

"Your mom is going to get worried regardless, isn't she? At least, if she knew you were Sonic, that you had brawns and not only brains, maybe she'd get reassured you'll always come out on top. And your sister wants to join the team, but she got pretty scared today. Find her something else to do to help. Like the Chaotix or Miss Vanilla do."

When Sonic goes home, he does so in Nicky's clothes. He doesn't think Amy would appreciate seeing Sonic at the moment, and as Shadow said she probably has questions that it's better for Nicky to answer.

Maybe, if the words come out of Nicky's mouth instead of Sonic's, it'll soften the blow.

After he opens the door he sees her. They look at each other in silence.

It's Tails that breaks it by coming to the entrance. "Sonic-" he sees them and corrects himself. "Oh- I mean, Nicky. Hi." A wave. "I'm just- I'll go. Bye-" but both Amy and Sonic can tell he's behind the door listening in.

He sighs and directs them towards the living room to sit down.

"It's been a while," Amy says.

Caving and writing a plot bunny because I have ideas and now this is too flashed out not to write a fic for it, and I'll forget if I don't write it down somewhere

Timeline I've come up with:

Nicky AU where Sonic has been, for years, telling his parents that he (as Nicky) is part of team Sonic, but he only does coding (like for robots and their communicators) for them and never fights in the front lines.

What happened is that after a few months of Sonic taking over Nicky's body to save the day, Nicky started to take care of the issues himself out of spite. Done with the fact that everyone liked Sonic more than him. It came to a point that Sonic didn't show up anymore, making Eggman (who went to Hedgehog village for Sonic) lose interest with the place.

When he turned 6, he moved away to go live with Uncle Chuck, so he could study somewhere more challenging. He an Amy barely talked anymore, as she would turn every conversation into Sonic praise, worsening Nicky's inferiority complex. During his stay in the bigger city, Eggman attacks and Nicky figures out he's been Sonic all along. And running? Oh, he LOVES running.

However, he starts getting severe social anxiety fueled by a really strong impostor syndrome, causing the start of his selective mutism. For a while, Uncle Chuck is the only one he talks to as Sonic (Nicky still goes to class without issues).

That's when he meets Amy again. She left home shortly after Nicky to go find Sonic and join in his adventures. I imagine that her relationship with her parents wasn't all that great, so she decided to run away when Nicky, her only safe space, left.

Meeting her really hammer in that he's not good enough to be Sonic, as Sonic used to have no issues beating Eggman and his robots to scrap metal.

Not too long after, he meets Tails, who had actually been to Hedgehog village for Sonic as well and knew Nicky and Sonic were the same person. He explains to Nicky (while fixing up the Tornado (who is actually Uncle Chuck's)) that Sonic told him he was from the future and that he couldn't explain what had actually happened in fear of messing up the timeline and creating a paradox. He said that everything will be explained in due time and that he's sure Nicky will figure everything out.

At first, Sonic talked to Tails, too. But it was clear that Tails, just like Amy, had a very specific idea of how Sonic was. Scared of disappointing Tails by being too much like Nicky, he stops talking with him as well. When Uncle Chuck dies, they take the Tornado to start traveling and fighting Eggman. This is when he tells his parents that he joined Team Sonic, saying that he wanted to repay them after they helped him stop Eggman. In exchange to letting him come, he gave them the Tornado.

He continues his studies remotely, still as Nicky if course.

It isn't until the end of the whole Angel Island Death Egg situation that Sonic speaks for the first time in forever. The whole adventure, the emeralds, helping Knuckles, it all made him feel... like himself. Like for the first time he actually was Sonic. Knuckles never learns that Sonic used to not speak, because he was under the impression they were just busy with Eggman and that Sonic was simply a hedgehog of few words until he got closer to people.

Shadow only learns about it when he meets Classic Sonic. The time shenanigans is also how Nicky was becoming Sonic.

Until his mom, Brenda, and his sister, Anita, come surprise visit them. The team had kind of settled down, mostly to give Tails an actual workshop. Afterall, between the Tornado, Shadow's chaos control, and Sonic's running they had no issues getting to wherever was getting attacked.

When Amy opens the door to see Brenda, she's confused, but excited. Before she can say anything wrong, Sonic invites them in, telling them he'll go get Nicky, and pulling Amy to the side to ask her to just go along with whatever Nicky says. She doesn't get the chance to ask how he knows where Nicky is and why his mom thinks he's at their house, but she agrees.

Sonic goes to tell Tails, warning him about Any possibly blowing their entire cover.

As Nicky, Sonic puts on glasses and an oversized sweater. He changes his iconic shoes (with a non small amount of reluctance) and takes things slow.

Amy is... Conflicted. She's happy to see Nicky, truly, but she's not happy that he's lying to his mom and sister. She doesn't understand why he's doing it, as to her it doesn't seem like him. She remembers him a lot... Meeker. Smart and nerdy, but kind of a coward. She'd always thought he'd have gotten along with Tails if they'd had the chance to properly meet, and there they are. Acting like they've been friends for years.

When Shadow shows up, Sonic thinks he's going to fuck it all up. Amy accidentally saves him by introducing him as Nicky, to which Tails explains he's the one that deals all their tech related problems and needs.

Shadow sees through it, raises an eyebrow, and asks if they're fucking with him. They assure him not. Then Brenda and Anita introduce themselves and Shadow takes Sonic aside to get a better explanation. Which he gets in the form of panicked rambling. Shadow agrees not to rat him out, but he also doesn't agree to cover for him.

Shadow tells everyone that he was supposed to meet Sonic for a run, but that the hedgehog bailed on him to go help the Chaotix. Internally, Sonic cusses him out because he knows he'll have to pay then for their silence.

Amy tries to get him to stay, as they'd made plans with Knuckles to have a picnic nearby, but Shadow claims to have some GUN paperwork to deal with. Sonic knows it's bullshit. He knows Shadow doesn't do paperwork.

But she convinced Brenda and Anita to join them.

Nicky meets Knuckles, gets his hand fake crushed (which he lets his mom bandage and ice) and yells at Anita when she says she wants to be part of Team Sonic, too.

Of course, that's when Eggman attacks. Seeing Nicky, Eggman immediately targets him. For old times' sake, he says.

Any tries to contact Sonic but he's not available, so she contacts Chaotix, but they say he's not with them. Tails tells her to call Shadow, and she -reluctantly- does.

Shadow helps save Sonic, making it clear that he's going to hold this over his head forever.

Anita is distraught.

Amy asks Shadow why he said Sonic was with Chaotix.

Sonic tries punching Shadow for his shitty lie. He doesn't succeed, as he's determined not to use his speed, and Shadow gets him in a headlock. Calmly, he says he doesn't know why Sonic would lie to him, but the hedgehog is not his problem. He lets go of Nicky, who gets fussed over by his mom.

Tails, who's been keeping this secret for years, decides that throwing Sonic under the bus to save Nicky some grief is justified. So, he tells them that Sonic has severe social anxiety and does do well meeting new people in these kinds of circumstances. And that he's never met parents of friends he's made, and he couldn't face them.

On the one hand, Sonic gets upset at Tails for telling everyone about it because yeah it's kind of based on the truth. But on the other, it's his mom and sister (and Amy but she kind of already knew. Shadow also knew but not the reason behind it all. So he knows he's going to have to answer questions about it) so he pushes it down.

This is all I have for now actually lol idk how this fic would continue, but I think this start is kinda good. Maybe Eggman fucked up too much and Sonic reveals himself. Idk.

[mewkwota]

So I was just supposed to find out myself that Volnutt had a (scrapped) casual outfit, so sure, of course I'm gonna try to draw it.

That way he has something more fashionable to wear out of battle.

[ahollowgrave]

-- all saints' wake.