#do i think this is the intention of the writers NOW? honestly idk

[clarisimart]

So, given the revelations that came with The Book of Bill, and all the intentional parallels they've drawn between Ford and Bill, and even the way we can kinda infer that Bill either saw something of himself in Ford or at least thought he found someone that could potentially really understand him...

With all that in mind, the insistence of Bill of having Ford being the one that opens the portal even after Ford realizes what Bill really is and what he wants, and rejects him... at that point it might have been easier to try and get anyone else, to possess someone and just break into the lab and open the portal that way, right? The portal was complete, he needed someone to open it, but he didn't need FORD to do it...

But, and I am not the first one to point this out by a longshot, I subscribe to the theory that Bill WANTED FORD to be the one to do it, he wanted Ford, the one person he had arguably a genuine connection with in a trillion years, to make the same mistake he did... he wanted to break Ford like he was broken, by making him the architect of his dimension's destruction.

And then he would truly have someone that would understand him completely.

Someone as damaged as him.

This concept is explored beautifully

in this fic by Caspercryptid (FaiaHae) and theneonpineapple:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58948018/

[reclinepilled]

worn out abby anderson

cw; smut, comfort, soft dom!reader, power sub!abby, oral sex, pet names, masturbation, i think thas it :P

wc; 1.5k (surprising.)

a/n; hai guys omigosh i haven’t posted a work in sooo long, idk if this is that great but i missed writing honestly. writer’s block KICKED my ass 😔. anyways i’ve conquered and prospered so stay tuned for more uploads. don’t forget to smash that like button and sub! also i literally can’t see any asks/reqs for some reason so there’s that. reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

don’t stop talking about palestine!

the rain that patters on the windows surrounding you, and the soft glow coming from the ambient lights in the kitchen creates a perfectly calm atmosphere for you. it definitely amps up your productivity as you type away, completing the work your professor had oh so gracefully assigned on the weekend. you were so engulfed in perfectly forming your thesis for your psychology essay, you didn’t hear the click of the front door and your girlfriend’s heavy boots trudging in.

it actually took a terrifying thunderclap to snap you out of the trance your laptop screen had you in. your attention is stolen from the rustling coming from the hall, quickly realizing your girlfriend has made it home. you push yourself from the kitchen island and scurry to the hallway. slowly rounding the corner, you see your disheveled girlfriend. braid messed up, flyaways sticking to her forehead and neck due to the weather conditions outside. she looks up from her bag, that thuds on the floor, to you. abby has always had a pouty face, though right now, it was much poutier. you could visibly see how worn out she was, her harsh job actually taking a toll on her for once.

it saddens you to see her like this. your expression softens seeing how her hands were covered in grime and calluses. you slowly stroll over to her, pulling her in for a longing hug. she quickly returns the hug, letting out a sigh of relief that shamelessly went straight to your core.

she’s careful not to get the muck on her hands on her your oversized tee. she’s always careful with you, you loved that about her. it brought you so much comfort, and all you wanted to do right now was return the favor.

“tough day today, baby?” you pull her arms closer to you, implying you didn’t care about getting dirty at the moment. you just wanted to be as close as possible. “mhm,” she sighs again, slowly rocking you. she buries her damp face into your neck, unashamedly inhaling your scent. you turn your head to pepper her temple in kisses before you cradle your hands around her tired face, lifting her head. you give her a sweet smile while you move your hands to grab hers.

you lead her to the living room, letting her go to let her slump against the couch, so she’s finally able to rest her back. she sighs again, but so softly you could’ve missed it if you weren’t watching her intently. she manspreads as she leans her head back on the plush couch, closing her eyes. you hated seeing abby so weary. thankfully, it was a very rare sighting.

you wanted to make her feel better and wipe that fatigued look off of her face, and you decide to do it the best way you could currently.

you plop yourself onto her thick lap. like clockwork, she wraps her hands around your waist. she swore your waist was carefully crafted for her muscular arms, “they fit like a puzzle piece” she would frequently state. you close in the bit of distance between your two faces, giving her a soft kiss she had yearned for since she left that morning. your hand travels up abby’s face to softly rub her warm cheek. there was no fight for dominance in the kiss, just affection that abby desperately needed after working like a dog. you pull away from her soft, sullen lips to cover her neck in open-mouthed pecks. she leans her head back, sighing for the third time tonight—this sigh was cleary different.

she lifts her head and one of her hands travel to your ass, then up your shirt to cup one of your tits. you airily sigh then lean in for a kiss again, this one feeling a bit more heated. your tongues clash together as you both savor the warmth the kiss brings. abby can taste your sticky gloss, making her groan. she plays with your hardening nipple, catching your soft whimpers into her mouth. she can feel herself getting wetter by the second, you could too. she removes her hand and pulls away from the kiss, “take this off. please.”

“no,” you move off of her lap. “what— did i do something?” abby’s brows crease up. a bubble of silence passes between you two as you stifle a laugh. “no, love,” you lean over her form on the couch to caress her soft cheek, “how about you strip.. let me make you feel good?” abby’s curious look with those doe eyes drove you crazy.

her cheeks visibly heat up. she raises up to start eagerly pulling off her layers. when she’s left in nothing but her bralette and briefs, you softly push her back down to the couch. “lay down,” you start to pull your shirt off. abby hesitantly leans back on the couch, impatiently eyeing you.

you’re now left in only your panties when you move to straddle abby. you trail a finger from her ear, to her jaw, all the way down to her toned tummy. it flexes at the cold digit lightly grazing her. “you’re so gorgeous, you know that right?” she quickly nods, watching you attentively, anticipating your next move. “of course you do,” you slide down and position yourself between her legs. she bites her lip, a telltale sign shes getting needy.

you smooth a finger over her clothed cunt, groaning at the heat radiating from it. you pull the waistband of her briefs to watch the fabric bunch up around her pussy lips and the wetness that seeps through. you quietly moan at the lewd sight and the soft whimpers abby was letting loose. you start to peck at her needy cunt, making sure to leave little kitten licks to stimulate her further. she buries her hand in your hair and starts to squirm.

“angel, please,” she whispers, throwing her head back. “‘please’ what?” you smirk, tracing her bud with your thumb through her underwear. “f-fuck— stop teasing and just…” she trails off while bucking her hips into your touch.

“just?”

“just s-stop teasing and please eat my fucking p-pussy. shit—“

you give her an amused smile and reach for her briefs’ band. she lifts her hips up a bit so you can pull them off. her pussy twitches a bit at the sudden cold air hitting it. you spread her toned thighs apart only to melt a little at the view, “shit, you’re wet.” you slide your finger between her lips, collecting the slick that’s oozing out of her pink pussy. “all because of you,” she tilts her head, boring her eyes into your now flustered face. you rub at her swollen clit a bit, eliciting a strained moan from her. you slide a finger into her tight hole, slowly starting to pump in and out. your cunt throbs at the sound it makes, not to mention the sounds she’s making. you eagerly add another finger, picking up the pace. you inch yourself closer to her weeping cunt to latch onto it. you circle her swollen bud with your warm tongue, coaxing loud moans from her due to the stimulation. you work your way to her puffy lips and between, eager to taste her pending release. hearing her beautiful moans and grunts makes you wet yourself. “y-you eat me so— fuck. so fucking g-good!” you remove your fingers to replace it with your tongue, pumping the muscle in and out. abby tangles her hands into your hair again, tugging at it, while slightly arching her back up into your mouth.

you move your own hand down to your needy cunt. you felt like a loser being on the edge of cumming just from eating pussy, but you couldn’t help it. you hastily rub at your pussy as you move back to abby’s puffed clit. you start sucking on the bud while shaking your head intermittently. “holy s-shit, i’m gonna cum,” abby shrieks while trying to refrain herself from enclosing your head with her thighs. she doesn’t know you wouldn’t mind. you start whimpering loudly, adding vibrations to her clit. you slide two fingers into your hole while simultaneously sliding two into abby’s. her back arches off of the couch, ���i-i’m cumming— fuck!” she yanks at your hair while smushing your head with her thick thighs. you moan loudly, giving her a few more kitten licks so she could ride out her orgasm. she pushes your head away and that’s when you cum on your own fingers, dropping your head onto her stomach, whimpering as your thighs convulse.

a few minutes of silence pass by. the only noise that reverberates around the living room is you two catching your breath. the smell of sex clings to the air as sweat dribbles down your temple.

abby heaves before speaking, “did you just fuck yourself while giving me head?” she reaches down and smooths your hair. you look up at her with a droopy smile. she lets out a snort at your confirmation, “nasty.” you slap her stomach softly. “do you feel better?”

“yeah, thanks princess.”

reclinepilled

please do not plagiarize any of my works or post them on other websites without given permission !

[megamindsecretlair]

What You Deserve, Part 3

Pairing: Big Stunna x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Toxic filth. Infidelity. PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (male receiving) , fingering (female receiving) teasing, cum play, dirty talk, praise kink, Daddy kink, dick worship, all consensual.

Summary: After finding some damning evidence against your husband, you can't help wallowing. You fall into a bit of a spiral, wondering what your next move should be. Sometimes, you just need a little Stunna to make things better.

Word Count: 4,649k

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: Listen, I know. Idk why this took so long to write. I think I'm still pleasantly traumatized from Watchmen. IYKYK. Please consider commenting and reblogging to save a writer's life. It's important for their enrichment.

Taglist: @planetblaque @blackerthings @melaninpov @browngirldominion @we-outsiiiide @thecookiebratz @iv0rysoap @notapradagurl7 @sevikasblackgf @miyuhpapayuh @xo-goldengirl @kindofaintrovert @flydotty @judymfmoody @slippinninque @soufcakmistress @henneseyhoe @westside-rot @twocentuar @blackpinup22 @babybratzmaraj @theyscreamsannii @kiabialia @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @nworbaij @hopefulromantic1 @lesbiantreehugger @longpause-awkwardsmile @badassdoll @kholdkill @cardi-bre91 @jay-mach @sageispunk @ciaqui @yourofficialgal @harmshake @amethyst09 @satoruya @theunsweetenedtruth

By the time you were done tearing through your bedroom and home office, you started to feel like a lunatic somewhere between pulling out drawers and flipping over couch cushions. You weren’t sure why, but finding the phone unlocked some kind of jealousy streak in you. You were obsessed. 

You knew what the deal was, but your husband was logical. You honestly thought he’d be too boring to cheat. And cheat with who? He was always at work and he didn’t have any female secretaries. That was a condition of you agreeing to become a stay at home mom. You didn’t want him bringing home any cooties.

And yet he did anyway. You had no room to judge. You had let Stunna in twice now. You took that man home and let him do filthy things to you. The petty side of you, however, rationalized that your husband stepped out first. Even if he bought the second phone a day ago, a week ago, or a year ago, he made that decision first. He chose someone else while you were at home raising his kids. 

And that burned. It burned like acid, clawing its way up your chest and burrowing deep inside. Baby Hands had the nerve to cheat on you? With his disproportionate body, small hands, small teeth, and ugly ass personality? 

You rubbed your head and sat down on the lone couch cushion you hadn’t flipped over yet. Good thing the asshole was gone for two weeks and you had time to put things back to sorts. It was driving you insane looking for…what?

Proof? Wasn’t the second phone enough? 

No. Anyone could excuse a second phone for work. Especially with the way that he worked in finance. He was constantly on call, working on huge contracts that required his attention. You’d caught him a few times in the office, pouring over documents and speaking gibberish. He had those calls on speaker and you heard him talking to a man. 

Unless your husband was secretly gay, you didn’t know where he found the energy or time to cheat. And how dare he bring that shit home to you! He hadn’t touched you in going on a year now. 

That was no excuse to cheat yourself, but shit. You were still sexy. You were still worthy of desire. Stunna taught you that. 

After you found the phone three nights ago, you hadn’t had the time to text Stunna. He texted you, telling you that he missed you. He was even on his best behavior. Nothing freaky or nasty. Just…wanted to see how your day was going. It was cute and touching. But right now, you wanted hellfire and brimstone. 

You rubbed your head once more, trying to figure out places where you wouldn’t look. It had to be somewhere your husband frequented that you didn’t bother with. When he was home, he was either crashing into bed or firing away at his laptop. 

“Mommy?” Noah asked. 

You looked up at Noah standing in the doorway with his sister peeking out next to him. It will always melt your heart the way the twins held onto each other like best friends. You knew that when they got older and developed more individuality, these days would seem like the distant past. 

“Yes, baby?” You asked. Embarrassment flooded through you. They shouldn’t see you like this. Falling apart because of a damn phone. 

“Are you playing hide and seek by yourself?” Noah asked, a small toothless grin on his face.

You chuckled. “Now, why would I do that when I have two of the best players in the house?” You asked. 

The twins grinned. “It’s messy in here!” Naomi said.

“Yes, baby, it’s messy in here,” you said. You looked over the office. It looked like a tornado had thrown up here. 

“Daddy doesn’t like it when it’s messy,” Naomi chimed in. “He says everything important has a place.” Naomi puffed out her cheeks and deepened her voice. Which only made her voice a little less squeaky. 

You laughed and shook your head. Leave it to your kids to get your head out of your ass. “You’re absolutely right. It’s sunny outside, what are you doing inside the house?” You asked.

You stood up and corralled your kids to soak up the sun, telling them how beautiful their skin is. You told them that the sun loves them so much, it gave them beautiful, dark skin to protect themselves. But that did absolutely mean they should be outside.

They ran into the backyard giggling. You watched as they tossed a ball back and forth, making up some kind of game you never knew the rules to. As you watched, you thought over what Naomi said. 

Your husband did say that a lot. He was the type to have all his little ducks in a row. Including his cheating apparently. Had you not found his phone by accident, who knew how long he would have gone on with it. Months? Years? Would you have woken up some time, sixteen years later to find out that he had an entire other family? 

You shivered. You did not want to end up like one of those true crime shows. Where you found out he was cheating and he offed you to be with his other baby mama. It was sickening. The not knowing was eating you alive. 

While the kids’ laughter filled your ears, you went back into the office. You headed for the file cabinet and flipped through his receipts. He kept copies of everything for at least three years and then routinely shredded them when he was sure that they were no longer needed. 

He had folders for everything, neatly lined up. You took out a huge stack from a few months ago. Mortgage, bills, groceries, and the like were all neatly stacked away. Including…extra expenses. 

You took out that folder and flipped through it. There were receipts from lingerie places. Expensive lingerie. Bracelets, necklaces…your husband was a regular fucking Santa Claus. You read over some of the pieces, things he’d stopped buying you years ago. After the kids.

Tears blurred your vision as you saw just how busy your man had been. So much for that. No wonder he didn’t want to touch you anymore. He found some floosy to bend over backwards. Keeping himself in shape? All for her. And not for the woman he fucking married. 

You let the tears fall, mourning for the marriage and life you thought you were living. You became complacent, allowing yourself to routinely get played. For what? For what?

You felt like screaming. You felt like dropping your kids off at your parents’ and showing up in Miami ready to catch a case. The love died a long time ago. It was the audacity. Because you were still fine as hell. And he was a fuck nigga for trying to dim your shine. Whoever he was with paled in comparison to you. 

You took pictures of all of the receipts in case his ass wanted to come home lying. You were going to the bank in the morning to get more financial records to bury his ass. Dumb ass. For all his self-importance, he forgot who the fuck he married.

You looked around the office, thinking of the house in general. You were going to clean that man out of everything he fucking owned. 

Hurt, pissed off, confused, you stood up and left the room, closing the door to the nonsense. You had kids to look after and make sure they didn’t miss their father’s absence too much. 

You tried to resist, but really, was there any point anymore? While the kids were away the next day, you called Stunna. He was the remedy you needed. You didn’t know what divine intervention placed him in your path or made you take him home. But you thanked the universe and grabbed hold with both hands. 

Stunna arrived promptly at noon, showing up looking exquisite in dark gray sweats and a blood red orange T-shirt. It should have looked funny, but on him, he just looked fine as hell. He was rubbing his hands when you opened the door and his face split into an open grin showing off a row of grills that flashed. 

You had answered the door in your robe, the silky lavender one. You were surprised it still fit, but you weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. The material looked amazing against your skin and you felt sexy, wild, and free while you wore it. It could also be because you weren’t wearing anything underneath it. 

Stunna’s eyes immediately traced your body and you felt it like a physical caress. You pulled him inside, locking the door behind you. Stunna was right there, pushing you against the door. 

“Fuck I missed you,” he said, his deep groan sending all kinds of shivers throughout your body. 

“I missed you,” you said. You grinned, looking up at his tall frame. 

“Hmm, how much you miss me?” He asked. He brought up one of his fingers to your chin, lifting it, to stare deeper into his molten brown eyes. His other hand traveled south, trailing down between your breasts and further still. That hand lifted the hem of your short robe, fingers rubbing against your exposed thighs.

Your legs tingled, feeling like he had more than two hands. You felt him everywhere, all at once. It was insane to want him as badly as you did. It had nothing to do with your husband. It had nothing to do with finding out that that bastard had been cheating for way longer than you thought.

You wanted to feel sexy again. Feel like you were capable of driving someone insane with lust. You hated to admit it but…fuck, your confidence was shot. You spent the whole night last night, crying into your glass of wine feeling rejected by your own damn husband. As much as you tried to talk a big game, you just felt ugly.

And the one person who didn’t make you feel ugly at the moment was the gorgeous man before you. 

He licked his lips slow, a tiny peek at his pink tongue swiping across his juicy lips. His eyes softened a fraction, while his hand slipped between your legs. Finding no barrier, he hummed low in his throat. His fingers eagerly searched through your folds, finding you wet and dripping already.

The anticipation while you got ready made you feel like a younger version of yourself. Back to your early days when you were invincible and no one could tell you a damn thing. 

“All wet and pretty for me, huh?” He asked. There was something so naughty about the way words dropped from his lips. He could say the most innocent sentence and make it sound salacious. 

You nodded, pouting, and turning doe eyes to him. He slipped one long, rough finger inside you and you hissed, arching your back against the door. Your hands came up to grip his shoulders for purchase. 

The finger he held under your chin dropped and he leaned on that arm against the door. His hand was massive next to your head. His breathing grew labored as if he were the one being driven to the height of pleasure.

You’d known him for such a short while and yet he knew you so well. Knew what you needed. Knew what you craved. He stared into your eyes, brows furrowed in concentration, while he continued to finger fuck you. He pushed his finger up to the knuckle and rubbed deep within you, making your knees buckle and your toes curl. 

“You ain’t been takin’ care of yourself,” he said. It wasn’t a question but you shook your head anyway. Between finding the phone and getting the kids together for their play and tearing through the house like a madwoman, you didn’t have time for anything. 

Stunna leaned down and pressed a hot, wet kiss to your lips. He lingered a little while he increased his pace.

“I won’t tease you too bad today, then,” he said. He flipped his wrist over and then made a “come hither” motion, rubbing right against your sweet spot. You began to whine and moan, shaking against the doorway. 

He didn’t let up and didn’t change his pace, stroking you without mercy until you were falling apart on his fingers. Soaking them. You dripped down your thigh and fell against him, your cheek resting against his broad chest.

He kissed your forehead and you sunk even further into him. You didn’t have to worry if he’d catch you or not. He was simply there. An immovable rock that you so desperately needed.

You were floating in an afterglow, but almost immediately, ugly thoughts reared in your head. Thoughts tumbled one right after the other about how your marriage was ruined. You were going to have to break up your family and figure out custody.

Your husband was going to be a dick about the whole thing. Especially when he’d been an absentee father even while in the house. To your kids, their dad was just some man who bought them things on birthdays and holidays. He was never there. And yet, it would crush them all the same not living in the same house with him. 

Tears gathered in your eyes. Fuck, this was a huge mistake. A glaring mistake that you should not have done. You should not have called Stunna. Least of all Stunna. So what…you could use him to make yourself feel pretty? 

God. You were embarrassing. You moved away from Stunna but he held on, trying to look you in the eye. You avoided looking at him, clinging to him since he wasn’t going to let you go.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

You shook your head. Your throat began to ache. Too clogged with racing thoughts and conflicting emotions. You were horny, confused, pissed off, elated. Fuck. You were a proper fucking mess and the least sexy thing in the room at the moment. 

“Um, maybe you should go,” you whispered. You didn’t want to ruin his shirt. You made to move again and Stunna leaned back, looking into your glistening eyes.

“Naw, tell me what’s wrong. Did I hurt you?” He asked.

“No!” You said. You shut that shit down. He’d been nothing but wonderful and awesome to you. Dropping everything just to come over and fuck you. You were the messed up one. And it wasn’t polite to talk to your sneaky link about your crumbling marriage. 

Stunna took your hand and led you to the couch. He sat down, spreading his long legs. He pulled you to sit on his lap, curling in close. You rested your head on his shoulder and he idly rubbed your back. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said.

“It’s nothing, I promise,” you sniffled. You wanted to get up and be a big girl. But he was so warm and soft. He smelled faintly like fresh bread and you wondered what he’d been up to all day. Or the past few days. 

You wanted to know everything about him. How he spent his time, what he thought about. You wanted to listen to his voice recite the most beautiful and heartbreaking poetry. 

Stunna kissed your forehead. “You can talk to me about anything. Even if it’s about your husband. That nigga don’t scare me,” he said.

You chuckled. But you also shook your head. That wasn’t…proper, right? There was something off about that. Then again, you were in your home snuggled up with a man that wasn’t your husband. 

Pot meet kettle. Your thoughts were still jumbled. You wanted to slunk off to be miserable somewhere. You didn’t want Stunna to see you like this. It was too early into…whatever this was. 

“You can’t scare me away, you know,” Stunna said softly. His fingers worked magic on your body, relaxing you inch by inch. You felt drowsy in his arms. Protected. 

You sighed. Fuck it. You were already crying and snotting all over him. You couldn’t get any lower from here. You laid out everything for him. How the two of you met. When you were both young and had an insatiable thirst for life. 

How kids were too far in the future, something to happen later. Only later happened much quicker. When you found out you were having twins, you’d never seen your husband so animated. He went crazy. Bought all the baby name books to pick out two cute names. While you were craving weird shit or crying for the millionth time, your husband would plot out your entire future. 

Sports events, plays, raising them together. Yet, after you had them, he was still sweet. But began drifting away. He got too serious. Too caught up in the fact that you had to buy two of everything. Double the diapers. Double the clothes and shoes. Double the toys.

Finances nearly drove you two apart. Until he got in with his company and quickly promoted. Working overtime to keep a roof over your heads and his kids fed. Keeping you secure became the ultimate goal and somewhere along the way, that initial fire died out. Wasn’t even a candle anymore.

You weren’t sure who the fuck you married. Certainly not someone who cheated so fucking easily. Who risked his life as well as yours. Your tests came back negative, thank god, but considering he hadn’t touched you in forever, you were pretty sure you were safe. Besides, you already let Stunna nut in you. 

Unburdening yourself felt good. You had become too isolated in this house. Feeling like you were in a tomb. You and your thoughts echoing in the silent chamber until you were driven mad with loneliness. It felt good being this close to someone again.  

You sighed against Stunna. “Thank you. I don’t know how I can ever repay you,” you said. 

Stunna kissed your forehead. “You don’t ever have to repay me. I’m sorry your bitch ass husband is doing this to you. You too pretty to ever cry,” he said. 

You giggled. “You are too good to my ego,” you said. 

Stunna chuckled, his hands tracing random patterns on your back. “You good for mine too,” he said.

You turned your head to look at him. He looked so innocent sitting there, like there were no thoughts behind those pretty eyes. But the more you stared, the more his eyes seemed to narrow like he was seeing straight to your soul. It was scary as hell, but also a huge turn on. 

Maybe all you needed was a sounding board. Someone to not make you feel so crazy. As you told him the whole sordid affair, he acknowledged that you weren’t tripping. That no, that bum ass nigga was likely cheating and you deserved so much better. 

You tucked those words away into your heart and vowed to cherish them forever. For now…

You grinned and slid off of his lap. He looked at you curiously while you reached for his sweats, pulling them down and freeing his girthy dick.

Fuck he was huge. Thick. The fat head twitching a bit. You licked your lips. You loved making him squirm. 

You licked the tip of his dick, tasting his salty precum. You moaned at the taste, diving in for more and more like you were licking an ice cream cone. He was so large, that you had to fist him to hold him still while you sucked him down.

“Fuuck,” he groaned. His hands flew to your head, digging in for purchase. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

You grinned, suckling him back down. He twitched more in your hands. You worshiped his dick. Knelt at the offering of a god. You sucked and moaned around his dick, applying pressure in alternating waves that made his knees jump. 

His tug at your scalp turned painful, but fuck, it only turned you on more. You loved to please him. To accept him into your mouth and wrap your lips around his fat dick. You drooled, gathering up your saliva to use your hands where your mouth couldn’t reach. You could only take him so far.

Stunna let out a low, tortured groan before unleashing his cum. You drank it all down, sliding the heady concoction down your throat. 

Stunna huffed, panting, looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. How were you ever going to keep your hands off of him now?

It was like your husband cheating was exactly the excuse you needed. Asking for a divorce because you were bored or felt unloved was a stupid ass excuse. But asking for a divorce because his lying ass was cheating and you had receipts was the cherry on the cake. 

Stunna grinned, pulling his shirt off and revealing his muscled chest. You whined, running your hands across the planes of his abs. He helped you out of the robe and then he stood up. He shed his shoes and pants, discarding it all into a pile next to the couch.

He pushed you down, face on the couch and ass in the air. He played with your pussy, getting you nice and wet before he was stroking inside, working his dick in.

You whined and moaned, throwing your hand back against his chest. “Fu-too big!” You screamed.

It was one thing trying to get that animal into your mouth. Another entirely to slide inside you. He growled, rubbing your clit. You jerked forward, falling face forward onto the couch.

He gripped your wrists in one hand, pinning it to the top of your ass. “I already nutted in this pussy once so I know you can take it. That shit don’t work no more,” he growled low, filling up the living room and yet making it feel small. Intimate.

He kissed along your back and rubbed furiously at your clit, making you gush around his dick. “That’s it. Let Daddy in,” Stunna moaned.

Fuck, you moaned too. “Oh shit, fuck me,” you cried out. 

“Don’t worry, I know exactly what to do,” he said. You could picture him biting his lip while he increased his thrusts. 

Your voice was muffled against the couch cushion, but you were screaming as he slid in more easily. Somehow, your pussy adjusted to the size of him and he moved like this was his last night on Earth. 

You had no way to push against him since he trapped your wrists. “Fu-fuck, Daddy. Fuck, Daddy,” you moaned.

“Yuh, let me hear it,” he moaned.

You were careening head first into another orgasm, shutting your eyes to the sheer onslaught of pleasure. He still kept up his pace while playing with your clit. You were tag teamed for explosive pleasure.

Another orgasm snuck up on the heels of the second. You were beyond words. Beyond sounds. Just rough exclamations leaving your mouth as he pounded into you like you stole something. 

Shit, maybe you did with the way he was fucking you. 

“Don’t get quiet now, baby. Let me hear it. Sing for me, baby,” he groaned.

“Stunna-fuck! Feel so good, so good. So good, so good,” you couldn’t stop chanting. He did feel so amazing. Fucking you deep. You didn’t know how he went through life with that big dick and didn’t tilt over. 

Maybe that was why he was so damn tall. He needed to be in order to balance that monster. 

Stunna withdrew his fingers, slapping your ass. It was a wet, loud smack that made you groan. “Do it again, Daddy. Spank that ass,” you moaned.

“Fuck, tell me what you need, baby,” Stunna said.

“You. You. Just you,” you drooled onto the couch.

“Give me one more so I can nut deep in this pussy,” Stunna said. He pushed your body down until you were nearly flat against the cushion. He raised your hips, finding a way to get even deeper.

His dick completely filled you up. You felt possessed. Owned. Suffocated with his dick. 

“Stunna, please–I–” You didn’t think you could cum again. You were going to have to replace the couch cushions or something. You felt it getting wetter by the minute. Your essence dripped down your leg.

“When I tell you to do something, you fuckin’ do it,” Stunna growled.

You exploded. You screamed out in pleasure, throat raw from the effort. You gripped his dick with your pussy, fighting to keep him inside while you were breaking apart. 

He groaned and then he was nutting in you once more. Your pussy throbbed and twitched in time with his pulsing dick and your eyes rolled back into your head. You saw stars exploding behind your eyelids. 

Stunna let go of your wrists. You tried to lift yourself up from the couch, but you were weak as hell. 

Stunna slowly pulled out so that he didn’t hurt you. You groaned all the same. He truly was too damn big to be whipping that shit like he was. It was a wonder that he didn’t have a million baby mamas stashed all over the city. 

How the fuck anyone let that man out the house was a mystery. He definitely needed to be tied up in the basement for your pleasure and your pleasure only. You smiled thinking of such a thing.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he said. He kissed your forehead. You melted. Kissing your forehead after some nasty ass shit only made you want to sink into the cushion and never come back up for air.

“Go run yo ass a bath. I’ll get dinner going,” he said.

“But–”

“Do what Daddy tell you,” he said, his voice rough and accepting no arguments. He leaned over you, planting kisses all over your face until you were squealing your assent.

“Okay, okay!” You screamed. 

You didn’t call him over so that he could cook dinner for your family. It didn’t seem right that he cooked it and never got to eat it.

But if you were going to divorce the kids’ father, you didn’t need to bring Stunna around them. As a fun “uncle” or not. No, you needed the divorce to be as clean as you could make it. In the sense that your kids wouldn’t know that you were about to snatch their father through the mud and back out the other side.

You drowsily got to your feet, legs wobbling. Stunna moaned and smacked your ass. “Don’t take too long or else I’ll have to come find you,” he warned.

You winked at him as you sauntered towards the stairs. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you said. 

Stunna chuckled, crossing over to you in one long stride. He gripped both sides of your face, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. If your legs were weak before, you damn sure couldn’t walk now.

He pulled back slowly, eyes still closed. You watched as he slowly opened them. “Everything is going to work out. If you need me, call me. I have no issues taking care of your husband.”

You knew he meant murder and that thought should terrify you. He was shitty sure, but you didn’t want your kids to grow up with a dead father. That was a different can of worms. Best for them to see who their dad really was.

You leaned up and kissed him one more time. “I know where to find you. Thank you,” you said. 

Sometimes, that was really all it took. Someone telling you that everything was going to be okay. Whether it was a lie or not, didn’t matter.

Daddy said it would be okay. And so it would be.

There's always more to love!

The Secret Big Stunna Files | Part 1 | Part 2

[major-comet]

one of the things that’s most interesting to me about red vs blue

[and this is true of a lot of the shows i’ve watched over the years (here’s looking at you, star trek and rwby volumes 1-3), but i find it particularly true for rvb]

is that the writers seem to have very little grasp on what some of the most interesting and compelling parts of the show actually are, especially from a character perspective

so much stuff only gets kind of brought up, or honestly never even really touched on that would fully be enough to compel me as a character plot for an entire season At Least

like the whole “sarge is apparently some kind of robotics/surgery Wizard because not only did all of simmons’ cyborg parts not get rejected, none of the bits of simmons that grif now has rejected either. this is a medical miracle and it’s something about the pair that is almost Never brought up” thing. they barely even acknowledged that simmons has a whole ass robot arm, much less that grif is physically almost as much simmons as simmons himself is

or the “hey actually epsilon kind of just taking over as “church” actually has a lot of potential for body snatchers-esque horror that they never ever lean into” that i was talking about the other day

or how they only really explore the deeper effects of ai-human integration from a negative aspect - o’malley and the meta and such, but don’t *really* dive in on the effects it might have on a pair that works really well together. epsilon and carolina kind of get the closest to that, but even then it’s still pretty surface level. where’s the weird shit about a pair slowly becoming more of a *we* and those boundaries of human and ai blurring into human&ai in a way that feels not parasitic, but symbiotic? where both parties are not only aware of what’s happening, but perfectly content with it? like maybe i just have venom on the brain, but the ai are like the coolest shit burnie ever wrote and i feel like even though they drive the plot for huge chunks of the show they were barely explored. (i’m saying that delta and york should have had weird freaky mind sex. hello is this thing on-)

or the implication (confirmation? idk man it’s been a long time) that sarge may have been an ODST is actually a Massive addition to rvb’s underlying (and i think sometimes only dubiously intentional) themes of “once a soldier has outweighed their perceived usefulness, the government will not hesitate to cast them aside completely, no matter what they sacrificed for the cause, and this has negative lasting effects not just on that veteran but on society as a whole” that they do kind of sort of explore with locus a bit, but the implication that sarge was highly specialized and did a lot of particularly risky shit for the unsc only for him to, unbeknownst to him, wind up as a training dummy for soldiers perceived as “better” than him (and not even really that, picked explicitly because florida thought he would be totally harmless to the alpha) is INSANE and “sarge was an odst” mostly exists in rvb canon just as a joke but Jesus H Christ, man

there’s so much great material here that just got totally ditched for something else and it makes me SAD sometimes

[victorspindrop]

OG HOA Characters and what their Major would be in College

Side note; once again hello I am alive. Currently in my last year of college so I have been dedicating majority of my time to my studies. I still have ideas and love for this account I am just not really consistent so my apologies. With school being my priority right now, it has got me thinking about what each of the characters major would be if they ended up going to university. Hope you all enjoy <3

Nina

I think we as a fandom have collectively decided Nina would be maybe a journalism major or a history major, and honestly I think that is very accurate!

Personally, I can see her being a History major with a Journalism minor

I mean especially from all her sibuna escapades, she loved learning the history of the house and all that was in it

I like to think she carried that love with her beyond Anubis. Maybe it makes her feel at home in a way (was Anubis traumatic? yes. but it was home <3)

I think writing the play back in S1, although stressful during the time due to a centuries old scavenger hunt, I think maybe that ignited a love of writing in her and she ended up doing it as a hobby for a while

I mean, she had a diary so obviously writing of some sorts seemed to be therapeutic for her (apparently to therapeutic in S3 smh) IM SORRY BAD JOKE BAD JOKE

Amber

Amber OBVIOUSLY went into something to do with fashion ; I mean she left in S3 to go to a fashion school so it checks out, and she's Amber so DUH

Majoring in Fashion Design, holding her own little runways during the school year

Maybe even having a clothing sale on campus at some point in the year

EVERYONE wants to get their hands on an Amber original

If she didn't go in fashion design I could also see her being a business major

Amber is our OG #GirlBoss so I can see her going into this major with the intents of learning the odds and ins of running a business

I think shed still be selling some sort of fashion or accessory but she would just be studying the principles of running a business.

She gives very Elle Woods "I have a 4.0 average!" "Yeah in fashion merchandising..."

Fabian

Fabian definitely gives History major to me as well (Fabina is the cutest couple in the history department)

Him and Nina compare notes <3

He was always a studious guy so it makes sense!

I can see him potentially becoming a Museum Curator (Him and the Sibuna gang found half of the relics in the museum)

Fabian is also our music guy, I will never forgive the writers for not putting in more clips of Fabian and his guitar UGHHH

I could see him picking up a Music minor just as a backup (more importantly for fun)

He really enjoys his History of Music class because its literally his two favorite subjects TOGETHER

HIs professors are very impressed with his knowledge of ancient Egyptian mythology (little do they know...)

Patricia

Honestly Patricia is hard for me to figure out

I think she’d maybe take a gap year or something after Anubis or maybe travel the USA and hang with Eddie maybe?

Maybe she would go into criminology?

Idk maybe being kidnapped and seeing an unjust system (the police being a part of Victors life cult) she’d want to be in the system herself because “at least i’ll be doing what’s right even if everyone else isn’t”

I think also having no one to listen and help her in S1 may fuel this as well.

Or hell, maybe she’d major in law

then she’d get to prosecute all the shitty people doing shitty things

Alfie

literally had to consult the discord to figure out stuff for this mf

I now know technically he probs went for business cause of his dad, BOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK THAT IDEA LET MY BOY BE HAPPY

Some sort of art major

I like to think he made most of his costumes so maybe something within theater costuming

or hell even theater we know he would do so good

He loves putting on shows and making people laugh, it what he LIVES for

Maybe he goes on to have some sort of comedy special

Also idea from the HOA discord im in, him and Jerome def went to the same college and were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

Jerome

this bitch went into business or something for sure

I will never forget Jerome basically have a homework selling SIDE HUSTLE in S1

(and Fabian threatening to expose him)

Finds some sort of niche that wouldn't be illegal and expands on it

actually does pretty well, he has experience per say so

Since Alfie did art as a major, Jerome lets him take home his business textbooks so his dad doesn't find out he isn't majoring in business (i love these two dumbasses so much guys i love friendship ugh)

Mick

Sports medicine probably

you guys know mick is like a thumb to me character-wise love him and dont at the same time

Mara

MY GIRL WENT INTO PSYCHOLOGY

you guys can trust me on this, I am literally getting my bachelors in psychology

tbh she just LOOKS like I would see her in one of my psych classes

She was trying (for a while) to help calm Patricia and talk her through her worries early on in S1 , I think its just in her nature to want to help others

She went as far as cheating on a test to help someone, girl goes the extra mile...even if the mile was wrong

Also beginning S1 when Amber first voices her concerns about Mick not loving her anymore Mara is literally the first one to be like "No that's not true!"

I feel like she would just go the cognitive therapist route (basically your average sit down talk to therapist)

She might go into some of the more neuroscience sides of psychology since she was so studious and SO GOOD at science and stuff (our "biology babe")

Joy

journalism with a communication minor for sure

she ran that school newspaper like it was the navy

I like to think she would go on to be apart of the newspaper/news group of her college

Maybe she goes on to be a reporter or something

or maybe she has a column in the news or maybe even works for a magazine company

[lightlycareless]

Hey again!! What do you think is Naoya height?? Because i can't seem to find his official height. So i headcanon that his height is 187cm. That's pretty tall right? But idc bc i love tall men in general 🤭

And i want to know your hc because you're one of my fav naoya writer!

Hello!!!

Omg I feel like I took forever to respond, idk why I get that feel from time to time, then I look on the dates and maybe it hadn't been so long?!??! Idk

Either way, thank you for your patience 🥺❤️ This is actually something I've wondered about in the past... as well as this little drabble I wrote :> I hope you like it!

I haven’t set an official height to Naoya, but I always assumed he was pretty tall too; he’s described as so in the wikia and looks like it too hehe.

So yep, around the 180s+ is just about right! Maybe not 190’s ‘cause he’d be getting to the same level of Gojo, but up there. (If it’s worth anything, I always thought he’d be amongst the tallest of his siblings, but shorter than Naoaki lmao)

Now, onto the good stuff.

warnings: none. fluff. naoya being a tease. (who would've known?)

It’s safe to assume that due to his height, either Naoya has to lean down to kiss you, or you have to step on the tip of your toes to do so. An arrangement that smoothly fell into place, not that much of a hassle to comply with, and honestly? I think both like doing it very much.

Until he realizes this is something he could also take advantage of; and boy, does he abuse this opening when the opportunity flashes across his mind.

He just… can’t help it! With the way you adorably purse your lips to kiss him, gently grasping his arms to pull him down just to make your job easier, he needed to, you know?

It’s in his nature.

And so, he leans into that, opting to not close the gap between his lips and yours, leaving you there, anxiously waiting for the moment your skin touches his, while doing his best to hold back from gawking at your cuteness.

It’s only when seconds pass and you have yet to be kissed, that you naturally grow worried, assuming something was wrong and opening your eyes to find out what it was… upset when realizing it was intentional. And obviously, since this isn’t as funny to you as it is to him, you eventually become frustrated.

“Hey, don’t be angry!” Naoya laughs, following you across the state as you storm away, flustered and ashamed that he’d make fun of you with something like that! “Come on, Y/N, I was only playing!”

Naoya eventually (like always) catches up to you, pulling by the arm and encasing you in his embrace, a wide smirk on his lips as he finally attempts to kiss you properly; but you simply deny him by looking away, forcing him to kiss your cheeks instead, the top of your head, or just about anything else but your lips, much to his dismay.

“You’re not actually angry… are you?” Naoya murmurs, feeling that maybe he had miscalculated how annoying he’d been.

“…no.” But you eventually disclose otherwise, because as frustrating as he was, he was still the husband you loved very, very much, with all of his playful, teasing, and sometimes cruel actions. You truly wouldn’t want him any other way.

Truth to be told, your embarrassment came more from the fact that you managed to catch a nearby servant, just by the corner of your eye, laughing at the two, making you feel as if he’d caught the two in a highly inappropriate disposition.

And never one to willingly share your intimate moments with anyone else outside of Naoya, their reaction quickly filled you with shame, jolting you out of the scene.

But even then… Naoya’s careless demeanor, whether because he hadn’t noticed them, or perhaps didn’t bother to care, reminds you it wasn’t as serious as you were making it to be.

Besides, the two were married, surely, they got an idea of what transpired between the two behind closed doors.

Naoya was very… passionate about it, after all.

“I don’t like it when you do that.” You still admit, for it didn’t mean you strived to be deprived of his kisses.

“I was just joking, princess.” Naoya coos. “I’d rather die than not feel your lips anymore.”

You blush.

… yeah, he was very passionate when it came to it.

“Does that mean I can kiss you again, my love?”

“No. Not until you make it up to me.” You smirk, Naoya’s eyes glisten.

“Hmm, is that so? And what do you have in mind?”

A lot of things, in fact, amongst them a direct continuation of that kiss he cruelly isolated you from…

But only until you get away from the prying eye of the surrounding servants, already hearing them snicker about how funny you looked trying to reach for Naoya, all pouty because he wouldn’t kiss you, more so when comparing how small you looked next to him…

Once that’s set, then you can make Naoya work for it.

I'm short myself, 5' to be precise (154) so everyone is naturally taller than me lmao but damn.... tall men... my weakness.......................... and Naoya? oof.... dreamy 😏❤️

Anyways, thank you so much for sending in this ask!!! I'll do my best to get to the other adorable one you sent me 🥺❤️ I love them all so so much agjkhasjkgasjkga I'm so honored you like my work 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you!!! keep them coming 🤭🤭

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[nalyra-dreaming]

I do suspect the eye colour changing thing was literally nothing more than a stylistic decision for the big vampire reveal and nothing more than that. Theories are fun and all but sometimes fandom gives the writers greater intentions than were ever actually there. Like I honestly don’t think Rolin Jones cares less that book Daniel has violet eyes for a start. I don’t think it’s that important.

I do also think Eric’s throwaway comment about falling for Justin Kirk/Raglan James has also been given far more weight than it actually deserves. It wasn’t a spoiler, it was just an actor talking like an actor tbh.

And finally…the whole Daniel body swap thing is such a massive change from the source material that I truly can’t see them going down that route. Changing a characters eye colour is one thing, but to body swap a character such a thing never happens to is a massive rewrite and would be very out of character for the show. Idk, it just would be a huge disrespect to the source material and to a character people love. I get people just don’t want David Talbot in the show, but in all honesty I hope the show never even adapts that particular novel as it’s just not that good.

Raglan James was a character that needed to be introduced, Daniel needed a reason to have come into possession of the trial script. The Talamasca got to edit Daniel’s book and remove anything they didn’t like. I really think that’s all there is to it.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that the fans will theorise all sorts of grand schemes, but the writers inevitably come up with the simplest, most obvious explanations.

Rolin Jones is on record saying he wants to do TtotBT, and Sam and Jacob have both commented on it.

As such I see it hardly as a far reach that they will go there. And it is a logical step after Akasha, too. I personally like the book a lot, it deals with body dysmorphia, suicide, crippling depression and guilt, so I get it's not for everyone, but it has some incredible Loustat scenes, among other things.

I don't think Raglan James makes much sense if you do NOT want to go there tbh. If they'd just wanted to open the Talamasca connection up, they could have used Aaron Lightner, or even Jesse Reeves.

So. *shrugs*

For now I'm taking it as a hint.

[soaps-mohawk]

& this chapter was ugh so good. you just make the angst soo freaking good. idk whats its called (youre the writer here) but when the book actually makes you feel something yk? yeah.

and omg johnny just crying tore me apart. you can tell he was always a sweetheart maybe even the most omega-like before reader. like god theyre all having to be so strong for everyone.

and fucking simon with the spoon like yes do what you ahve to do for her. idk that part made me feel something because everyone else is almost to scared to push the boundary but it wasnt about her boundaries it was about her safety since she clearly wont admit it yaknow? simon is so im gonna protect you whether you like it or not.

then john god damnit. he’s going through so much but im do into this fic i honestly dont even feel bad. like im reading how he feels and feel nothing. no pity, no empathy, i dont even feel good that he’s feeling this way.

i 💕 this fic. this is so long sorry bye -👻👻

I don't know if there's an exact word for that?? Maybe? I'm not sure of it either lol.

Johnny is my sweet boy and I hate hurting him so much. I hate hurting all of them but it's necessary unfortunately.

I think any of them would have reached out and done it if they had been sitting next to her, but it does feel a bit intentional that they put Simon there. He can't fight those instincts, even if he wants to. He wasn't going to let 'mega get hurt, even if it meant pushing that boundary a bit.

Good. You shouldn't feel pity for him. He fucked up and he has a lot to make up for. You're supposed to not like him right now lol

Thank you though, I'm glad you've been enjoying it despite the pain it's been causing recently. (It is going to get better I promise)

[zukosdualdao]

watching zuko berate iroh in jail is honestly one of the hardest scenes in the show for me to watch (i literally had to pause and take a breath lmao, it’s just. it’s a lot.) but it’s legitimately so fascinating because zuko is doing so much projection here. which is what people very often are doing when they lash out in this way.

like, part of it is obvious. zuko blames iroh for his imprisonment, insisting they could have returned home together—echoing azula’s insistence that it was really iroh who betrayed him in tcod—if iroh had just sided with them. and when iroh says nothing, zuko insists iroh has no right to judge him. but again: iroh has said and done… literally nothing. sure, you could argue that zuko’s reading iroh silence and turning away as judgment (which, i think it’s more complicated than that. he’s very hurt and very sad, and he also doesn’t know what else he could possibly do or say when he’s tried everything to help zuko and ended up in a prison cell, so why should he think zuko will listen to him at this point?) but he came into this one-sided conversation already defensive.

zuko doesn’t feel judged because of anything iroh’s doing, despite what he says; he feels judged because he feels guilty, because he has an actual conscience, and as much as he wants to ignore it, he can’t, not entirely. but he also can’t admit to feeling guilt without admitting that the choice he made in ba sing se was wrong. and he’s not ready to admit that for a number of reasons, partially because i’m not even sure he knows that’s what he’s feeling, partially because he’s not yet ready to take moral accountability—but also, partially because at this point, admitting that is dangerous, because now he’s back with his abuser, who would take such guilt as both treason and personal offense. even if no one else was around to hear it, zuko certainly wouldn’t feel safe expressing that.

which leads to the other bit of projection i think is a lot subtler. it’s honestly not something i clocked until this rewatch, as before, zuko shouting that iroh was a “crazy old man” just seemed like something zuko was mimicking from ozai and azula, who absolutely do talk about iroh like he’s crazy, and i do still think that’s part of it.

but, idk, maybe it was less intentional on the part of the writers, but when zuko shouts that iroh’s crazy… i mean, i can’t help but think of how he’s actively being told his feelings and fears are irrational and being gaslit since he got back to the fire nation. i think it’s fair to say he feels a bit “crazy” because that’s what people who gaslight you are trying to accomplish (and we’ll see zuko admit to how confused he’s feeling in both the beach and the avatar the firelord.) that’s a scary, out-of-control thing to be feeling, so it’s not surprising that it’s another thing he tries to turn back on iroh in order to gain back some semblance of control. (it Does Not work.)

[desceros]

Re: ableism w/Symphony Donnie: Definitely some internalized ableism but I think that’s unfortunately due to not many people knowing what exactly neurodivergence looks like and how people with it processes things differently.

Like, honestly, my biggest gripe was the recording and even that, for the SPECIFIC context of this story and Donnie as a character, it makes sense. Does it make it right? No, but if Donnie never had to think about these things before, for him it’s the same as recording everything to protect his family. Just something he does.

Also, even though my heart broke with Reader’s at her realization, MULTIPLE times reader has said Donnie says what he means and even at the beginning with the “I like you” thing I was like, “Girl, I’m going to need you to define the relationship with him.”

And I think, with Leo, even when writer’s do write him as neurodivergent, what I’ve read always has him as the he better masker whether it’s explicitly said or not. Idk if Symphony Leo is neurodivergent or not but STILL, reader has picked up that he’s good with masking which usually comes off as charming or “easy breezy beautiful cover girl”.

Idk, maybe because I know a lot of people like Donnie irl but if anything I was more frustrated at the obvious miscommunication between both of them than him directly, because as reader said, she projected her feelings on to him when he’s been super direct with his intentions.

Basically, there are sometimes where I wish people would just realize that processing the same thing between two people doesn’t always look the same and that one isn’t necessarily bad.

well-said, anon-chan!

edit: this got SPOILER!! HEAVY!! for chap. 22 and also soooo long so i'm going to tuck it under a cut. but here's some meta on symphony to explore this a bit since it's something that's very important to me and also... pretty critical to the fic itself! i don't typically like explaining myself outside of the text and letting the fic itself speak but. hm. i suppose i shall let it slide for today!

as you all have hopefully noticed by now, as an author, i like to be. hm. more subtle with things. i prefer to tuck things away versus having things be blatant in the text. and this is kind of coming back to bite me a little with donnie and his neurodivergence, i suspect.

i've tried pretty hard to make it contextually obvious that donnie's autistic. i've all but used the word. the way he behaves and communicates is heavily autism-coded.

meanwhile, the story is from viola-chan's pov, and she's neurotypical-coded (well. as much as i, an adhd-riddled autistic cat in a trenchcoat can manage).

as a result, she doesn't... pick up on donnie's problems with communication. not right away. but here, in this chapter, we see where she finally figures out what their issue has been the entire time:

…Oh. Oh god.  He really doesn’t get it. You’d known, of course, that Donnie wasn’t great with people. That he doesn’t communicate well. He doesn’t pick up on cues, or use them himself. No wonder he’s always so frank in his language, you realize. No wonder he’s so comforted by the firm rigidities of science. No wonder he looked so lost. No wonder he was so perplexed.

then, she puts that into practice by being specific and precise with how she talks. and we see that she now knows how to communicate with him in a way that works for both of them. and it works for them:

God; it’s like—a breath of fresh air, you think, staring at him in a little bit of awe. It’s so easy to talk to him, now that you’re just… letting it all out. Being honest. Frank. Infuriating that you hadn’t done this earlier. Feeling your irritation deflate, you nod. “…Okay. You just—need an explanation. Clarification.” “Yes, please,” Donnie gushes, fretting a little.

it's going to take some work. she still takes things he says personally and extrapolates past them (the whole "leo being an important person" thing). but she immediately nips it in the bud and is like. no. we're not doing that anymore. so, going forward, her relationship with donnie is one that's built on learning how to develop this open communication.

of course, it's not perfect, because they're human. donnie twisting her arm into still talking to him by calling in the favor is shitty behavior. a desperate bid to keep someone close that, for some reason, he can't imagine being without. not cool. the recordings of them having sex were shitty behavior to us, people who Know Better. but when violist-chan said 'hey, that's not cool, don't do that' and donnie was given a reason why not to, he just says ok. he might not understand ("but i record everything"). but he acknowledges that there's a concern there, and he agrees to be more conscientious in the future (having a consent sheet).

now then, let's look at leo's behavior in comparison.

donnie's biggest fault was that he didn't know to check in and make sure they were on the same page with everything. leo's fault, on the other hand, is purposeful, manipulative, and cruel. his open admission that he's been manipulating her from the beginning. manipulating donnie. lying to her.

to me, this is much, much worse than what donnie did. even knowing that at some point he starts developing friendly feelings towards her—and some of their interactions were indeed genuine!—i'm with violist-chan here. i'm not going to be digging through every one trying to parse out which ones were real and which ones were him being a dickhead. they're all tainted by the stain of betrayal.

also. because it has come up in a different ask that i will be publishing probably tomorrow bc of spoiler reasons: someone said something to the effect of 'why didn't he just not say anything? he could have taken that to his grave. how selfish'. i will remind you of a conversation between violist-chan and leo that happened in the previous chapter:

“Most of all, he’s honest,” you keep going, tangling your fingers together, staring down at the way they knot at your waist. “If he says something, I can take it at face value. There’s no hidden meaning. Nothing deeper. If he says something feels good, I know it feels good. If he says he likes something, he likes it. If he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it. If he asks for something, I don’t need to ask if he’s sure. He asks, so he’s sure. It—It’s a breath of fresh air. If I want to know what he’s thinking, really thinking, all I have to do is ask. And...”  [...] Leo’s still as stone for a few moments longer, looking at you like he’s trying to decide if he wants to say something; but finally he relaxes and comes back to you himself. Reaching out, he flicks your forehead, causing you to wince and rub at it.

i think... leo maybe wouldn't have ever said anything about it. but then you said this. how donnie matters to you because he's honest. there's nothing deeper with him. it's all at face value. you never have to worry about what he's doing, what he's thinking. and that i think... really messed with leo. because he knows he hasn't been honest with you. you can't trust what he says at face value. you do have to worry about what he's doing. and for you to say that that's the main thing you love about donnie—it messed with him. so, even though he knew it would jeapordize the relationship with you, even knowing he wanted to put this off for as long as he could, even though, even though, he decides he has to tell you. he has to come clean.

so even though it feels like shitty, selfish behavior... it's actually him trying to do right by her for a change. to conform to what she looks for in a relationship (both romantic and platonic). it just... didn't go over so well, predictably. most people don't like hearing that not one, but two of their most precious relationships were built on a foundation of misunderstandings or lies.

side note. i do headcanon leo as having adhd that primarily manifests itself as an inattentive form. i don't suspect it has much to do with his behavior here... save perhaps for some possible rsd being triggered when violist-chan is like 'ok actually go fuck yourself i'm out of here.' i don't find it particularly relevant to the discussion of ableism, in this context.

so anyway. long post aside. it's... interesting to me. to see people saying 'actually fuck both donnie and leo equally!!! bleh bleh bleh!!!!' i don't know that it's. hm. active ableism. i'm certainly not accusing anyone of the sort. but it is, at the very least, indicative to me that there are a lot of people who don't read into the text as deeply as perhaps i would like on certain character traits, if i had a magic wand to wave.

....and also perhaps just ableism, haha.

[screamlet]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by no one, stolen off the dash- the numbers are outrageous because i've been writing in fandom since 2009 🫠 here's my whole ao3 profile ("back catalogue") lol.

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 144

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,624,724

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now: 9-1-1 and bts

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? the cleverness of me (star trek, kirk/spock) an upbeat kind of dirge (star trek, amanda/sarek, kirk/spock) visit philadelphia (hamilton, hamilton/laurens) every day is a gift that's why they call it the present (hamilton, lots of pairings) you are cordially invited (star trek, kirk/spock)

5. Do you respond to comments? not... really... for a really stupid reason! which is that my hamilton fics (especially the first two) were some of the first posted on the ao3 and the comments blew up so much i couldn't catch up and never caught up. years later, i have 3100 unread comments but i read them all the time 🥹

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the five year mission (star trek, kirk/spock). read the tags!!! though i kind of love the comments that are like "i didn't read the tags/warning and holy shit i should have."

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i'm a sappy romcom bitch at heart, so most of them do. off the top of my head, the most recent: what are your intentions? (9-1-1, bucktommy) and out of the woods (into your arms) (bts, namseok). i think happiest is relative to the time/agonies it took to get there and these two warm the hell out of my heart.

8. Do you get hate on fics? no thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? When The Story Calls For It

10. Do you write crossovers? not opposed to them but i haven't come across an idea where it would work.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of and let's keep it that way!!!!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes, mostly into russian and mandarin

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes!!!! but not in a long time, god knows how it would go these days because i might be more Exacting these days. or it would go great! driven outside and driven in (princess diaries 2, mia/nicholas) dexterity (star trek, amanda/sarek) 14. What's your all time favorite ship? honestly bucktommy is working its way up there because i love love love buck so much. SO MUCH. OUR SPECIAL BOY. but long term it's: kirk/spock (star trek, every version), nicke (nicklas backstrom)/ovi (alex ovechkin) (hockey rpf), and cory/shawn from boy meets world (I KNOW).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i try not to post WIP's because i really avoid reading WIP's unless i trust the author. but there's one fest fic that i'm going to finish if it kills me: table for him and you and me (bts, rapline ot3). there's also an unposted bts star trek au that i haven't touched in two years that is my white whale that i have to finish one day, goddddddd

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue, and it comes so easily, it comes first

17. What are your writing weaknesses? everything else, lol. describing people's appearances? if you don't have a visual reference, i am fucked. 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i don't like when it's italicized. it feels too much like making it ~exotic, but that's my own very personal and subjective opinion i don't want to argue about. AND i did it in a recent fic, so. idk. 19. First fandom you wrote for? probably lord of the rings or harry potter in the pre-ao3 days, and all of them are lost to history/livejournal 20. Favorite fics you've written? a lot of hockey rpf ones, i don't know what was in the water but i love them still (all nicky/ovi, all archive locked) the arrival of 290287 backstrom the washington royals did you ever stop to love me

my three boy meets world/girl meets world fics (cory/shawn/topanga): it's just the rest of our lives for bts: my namseok regency au, the other 100k+ fic i've written. i love it and i don't think you need to be a bts fan/namseok shipper to read it. if you like regency stuff, agony, mutual pining, childhood sweethearts to estranged husbands to reconciliation: i think you'll love it! like the ocean needs the waves (bts, namseok, 121k) and recency bias is a thing but man i love my six precious bucktommy stories i've posted. especially what are your intentions? i have a lot of long comfort fics that i've read over the years that i love going back to over and over again, and yes i wrote it but this is one of them for me (and i hope it becomes one for other people)

passing this on to anyone who wants to think about their writing at 12:30 AM! but also @waldorph @rcmclachlan @cecilyv @dadvans @liminalmemories21 @geddyqueer

[mari-mistletoe]

Let's try this again - a Writeblr intro?

I've never really gotten into the Writeblr side of tumblr but I'd like to give it another try. So let me tell you a bit about me :3

A little bit about me

I'm Mari, I go by they/she pronouns (with a preference for they/them and neutral nouns) and to be honest, I'm more a hobbyist writer than someone who aims to get published. Of course it's nice to dream about getting your work published as a physical product, but I don't think I'm ready to enter that realm anytime soon.

Other "fun facts" may include:

My brain is a chaotic mess, so idk how often I'll post anything on here, but we'll see.

English is not my first language.

I'm autistic.

I am very much a cat-person, but my current WIPs don't really include cats (yet?)

I've been doing text-based role-play on and off for over 15 years now, but never really got far when it comes to writing on my own.

Current WIPs

My main WIP is a high-fantasy adventure that goes through time and back, working title Dragonswarm.

I also have a different WIP I'd love to work on, working title STORYTIME: How I got Isekai'd Away ("Isekai'd Away" for short, the cheesy clickbait-y-ness is intentional), but that one is honestly still in the "I'm figuring it out" phase. It may not actually an Isekai story, but like I said, I'm still figuring out what it is exactly.

Technically I also have an OC-centric fanfic WIP named Fool's Gold, but I don't know if that one will ever be finished.

[twistedtalking]

3 Dormleaders and the Adeuce Duo's Reaction to

*~Sentience~*

TW: Ace is a jerk, slight mention of Exams, Idk how to write Idia/Malleus/Azul, new to the internet and it's slang writer trying to imagine what Idia would say, slightly cringe, slight T*ey slander, intentional wrong grammar, Azul so confused he forget he doesn't have morals, Mentions of camera, weirdo prefect, I made this when I was bored, and braindead from school, shirtless Malleus, grossed-out Azul, etc.

Ace: ...Oh. So I'm just a video game character... No real feelings, no real emotions. My family is just a figment of my imagination. My personality, just pieces of code.

Life has lost all it's meaning.

...Or was I ever truly alive in the first place?

.

.

.

.

GOT YOU!!!

Man, you should have seen the look on your face. It was HILARIOUS!

What? Did you really think you could fool me with such a basic prank? Come on, my brother already done that one when I was five. ...which I completely did not fall for whatsoever! Nope. Not at all.

Anyways, you should really hide your props better. I could see the camera from miles away.

(Prefect: What do you mean "camera"?)

Ace: ...

(Prefect: ...)

Ace: ...we're dead.

Deuce:

"Huh?! REALLY?? Was My whole life a lie?! Oh gosh, does this mean I've never existed?!?! Are the words coming from my mouth really from my thoughts or am I just reading from a script done by some bored writer?!

Does this mean my exam results mean NOTHING?!?!"

(Ace: What? You really fell for that? Dude, you're so gullible. It's just a prank, man. Right, Prefect?)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: ...right?)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: Dude, this isn't funny anymore)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: JUST SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING! PLEASE!!!)

"We're all gonna die!!!"

(Ace: We can't die if we were never alive in the first place, idiot. Oh great, now I'm saying weird stuff too!)

(Prefect: Sorry for the long wait, guys. Mind catching me up on what happened when I was AFK?)

(Adeuce duo: When you were WHAT?!?!?)

Idia:

"Rlly? Who'd believe that? Like srsly, I'm not even that marketable. I'm too floopy to be in a shooter game, too boring to be in a gacha-"

(Prefect: It's a gacha)

Dude, who in their right mind would pull for me?? I'm the boringest character ever!

(Prefect: Nah, that's Trey)

Nah, Trey's the untrustable kind

(Prefect: Nah, that's Jade)

...okay, fair.

Anyways, I just don't see the appeal. Like, why? I'm just a weirdo who hates people, and stays in my room to play video games 21/7! And I read manga the rest of the time. I'm a total loser!

(Prefect: And that's what makes you the relatable character. Jokes aside, your saracasm is pretty funny, man, the ghost bride event was hilarious, and your character design is pretty cool. That's some of the reasons. Honestly, just gonna pull 4 u on ur next banner.)

"You should get your eyes checked"

(Prefect: I should. It's been a while since I changed my glasses. I can't even see your eyes lol.)

(Prefect: Anyways, Want to play the game? We got Rhythm games, card battles-)

"Sounds great. Better question, are there any, ahem, hot mommies?"

(Prefect: We got...Leona? And Vil! Man, how could I forget Vil? I love that man)

"Who doesn't?! I mean, whoever doesn't must be BLIND. He's totally SSR tier! If he was in the game, I'd whale for him whenever he gets a banner! He's pogchamp.

Well, As long as he isn't trying to get me to take care of myself. He's way better behind a screen. Like man, I don't care if I'll die quicker, give me my cup noodles and pomegranate candies. Actually, it's much better if I die-"

(Ortho: Nee-san! We talked about this!)

"...fine."

(Prefect: You tell him, Ortho!)

Could you send the game now?

(Prefect: yeah, sure. But the boss battles are pretty hard to beat-)

"Heh, I could beat that game in 3 weeks top"

(Prefect: Alright, you're on!)

Malleus:

Child of man, what is this "video game character" that you speak of, and how am I such one?

(Prefect: it just means a whole lot of people all around the world- Scratch that. All around the universe, simp for you!)

What does "simp" mean?

(Prefect: Imagine Sebek but, well... Yeah, never mind. Just imagine Sebek. But for like, fictional characters)

But I am not a work of fiction though, child of man? What dost thou mean?

(Prefect: ...heh. um, actually...)

A talking portrait of me in your digital device. I still do not understand what you are trying to convey.

(Prefect: Never mind. Let's just look at fanarts of you)

"Fanarts"?

(Prefect: portraits of you done in my realm)

I am fine with that. Show me these "fanarts" you speak of.

.

"These are not at all accurate. Some of them look completely different from each other. And why do some of them portray me without my clothing-"

(Prefect: OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TODAY! Yeah, let's just look at gargoyles or something! ...wait. Is that Lilia with a bag of groceries?!?! Oop. We're doomed.)

Azul:

Ah, good afternoon Prefect. I wish to speak to you. You see, while we were stealing-

I mean, checking your phone-

(Prefect: Why are you stealing checking my phone??)

Not important.

Anyways, we found this. Care to explain why you have a picture of me as your lock screen? I mean, I AM quite handsome, but the use of photos of me taken without permission could and would get you sued!

I don't really want to sue you, so I've came up with a good compromise. How about a-

(Prefect: thank God, you didn't see the home screen.)

...Well, of course I did. It was quite...odd.

(Prefect: Really? That's all? I thought you'd make a bigger reaction, you know, with it being you in an nsfw outfit)

In a WHAT!?!?

(Prefect: Aha! So you didn't see my lock screen! I was just joking. FYI, it was just a cute chibi Azul in his octomer form.)

Oh.

(Prefect: The bunny girl outfit was last week)

WHAT?!?! I could sue you right now, you know?!

(Prefect: you have no proof)

You admitted it!

(Prefect: You have no witnesses)

Nonsense! Jade and Floyd are-

Ah. Right...

Ahem. Pray tell, where did you find such...things.

(Prefect: The internet Is a weird place)

WHY WOULD THE INTERNET-

(Prefect: Octavinelle's the most popular game in Twisted Wonderland. At least, in tumblr. Poll-wise, I mean. I prefer Heartslabyul though. Ah, By the way, I mean the videogame, not this world.)

What??

Impossible. I am not from a video game. I'm not some weird anime character-

(Prefect: *shows gameplay*)

Okay, but-

(Prefect: *shows chapter 3*)

...do I at least get a share on the income?

No? What do you mean "No"?! THEY'RE USING MY FACE! FOR INCOME! AND I DON'T EVEN GET 48%?! This is unfair. This is ILLEGAL! I'm going to sue!

(Prefect: You're going to sue...D*sney. The one who made you? The one who made Ursula??)

Yeah, what's the problem with that-

Wait, Ursula?! What do you mean-

(Prefect: does that mean I can buy twst merch from you now? Hey, can I order a body pillow?)

What? T-that's disgusting!

(Prefect: *puts down bag of money*)

Did I say disgusting? No, I meant odd. But everyone's a little odd.

So, who do you want a body pillow of? Come now, Let us discuss the price in the VIP room.

Original ask:

Message:

(Argument with Idia)

You're just a game character anyways!

(For Deuce)

I'm pulling for your banner cuz you're my fav character. Wish me luck! What do I mean? I mean, you are a video game character, you know.

(For Ace)

Dude, you're from a video game.

[2maegor2cruel]

re alicent, idk i think its reasonable to give up on ur sons after seeing them grow up and repeat the same violence all men do and realizing they will not protect you or their sister anymore. like alicent is shown to be very aware of her sons' violence and has now seen both of them exhibit it toward her daughter. they're not innocent bullied children who need their mothers defense and protection anymore. i hope that made sense

i appreciate you taking the time to explain your thoughts to me, genuinely i do! i think i came across as really negative about the show (and probably still do lol), but honestly, i was more disappointed than angry. I've always been a season 1 defender (for all its wonky and break-neck pacing), and i genuinely think ryan condal and sara hess have it in them to be great writers.

that said, my issue with the alicent-rhaenyra scene wasn't a matter of me not understanding the writers' intent, but rather me disagreeing with it in terms of both characterization AND narrative. i do definitely agree that alicent's perspective on her sons has understandably changed a lot in the 5-10 years (?) since the driftmark incident (aemond is 16 in the show's current timeline, which is ridiculous, so i'm just gonna ignore that lol).

it is everything else about alicent's characterization and how she is treated by the narrative that annoys me. in particular, i really disliked alicent's relentless "humbling" in this season. neither aegon or aemond listen to her; her one ally, her father, is sent away a few episodes in; her lover, criston, won't stand up for her; she has a chilly relationship with her brother, gwayne; larys drops her the second he finds a better mark; her relationship with helaena is almost entirely one-sided; she seemingly has no relationship with her grandchildren at all; etc.

worse, alicent's affair with cole is used to frame b&c as somehow their failing, rather than daemon doing something heinous to hurt his innocent family members. making helaena bust in on them actively fucking was a specific choice the showrunners made, and i cannot fathom why they would do that except to further "embarrass" both alicent and cole. in the book, helaena brings the children to visit alicent every night, as they (shock, horror) love each other and spend a lot of time together. in the show, alicent never has a single scene with jaehaera, doesn't seem to care about jaehaerys at all, and only becomes involved with b&c when helaena walks in on her and criston having sex. hmm!

i honestly wouldn't have as much of a problem with this, if we didn't have the books to compare it to. alicent in the books is a valued advisor to both her sons, she's VERY politically involved throughout the reigns of her husband and sons, and she's an active participant in the protection of king's landing. in the show, alicent is unvalued, powerless, miserable, and with no particular attachment to any of her family members except helaena (kinda).

and this is contrasted with how rhaenyra is framed- a champion of the people! the prophesized savior! feminist icon! she's always being unfairly pigeonholed by her advisors and blamed for daemon's choices, even though she's The Good Guy. the showrunners are seemingly terrified of making rhaenyra unlikeable, so her actual moments of selfishness and cruelty were few and FAR between. i do appreciate the show attempting to address rhaenyra's difficulties ruling as someone with no "martial" training, but i think it would have been a lot more interesting juxtaposed with alicent's adept political maneuvering, her "woman's power". rather than alicent just being a sopping wet paper bag the entire season.

which brings me back to the scene in question. in addition to being a season 1 defender, i've also always been a rhaenicent enjoyer, which is why that final rhaenyra-alicent scene left such a bad taste in my mouth. it did not resonate with me at all, being so logistically idiotic and such a disservice to both of their characters. first, the constant sneaking in/out of king's landing was ridiculous. the sept scene especially annoyed me not just because of the insanity of that choice on rhaenyra's part, but also because SOMETIMES THINGS CAN BE LEFT UNSAID!!! sometimes misunderstandings are perpetuated and we never get closure or catharsis!!!!! less is more, guys, PLEASE, i'm BEGGING.

second, rhaenyra should not be the sole axis upon which alicent's world turns. what about daeron? what was the point of the "he's kind" scene if he doesn't even factor into alicent's sacrifice arithmetic? alicent would have to know he would die too. and what about jaehaerys? in the books, alicent spent time with him every day, but in the show, he doesn't matter to her at all. rhaenyra's husband had his grand-nephew's head cut off in front of his mother and sister, but alicent doesn't mention that. where's the "sacrifice", when alicent doesn't care about any of them to begin with?

like, i keep seeing posts about how "the deaths are supposed to be pointless!!!! that's the point!!!!", but the deaths should be pointless in the context of the broader narrative, they shouldn't be pointless TO THE CHARACTERS THEMSELVES. anyway, i could rant forever, but i need to like. do other stuff. until next time...

[intotheseas]

20 Questions for fic writers!

Thank you for the tag, @writing-intheundercroft!! (Btw I cannot wait to start your Seb AU series and the Stardew stuff.)

How many works do you have on AO3? - Four! Though one is taken from my longfic, so technically three I guess? Still a baby writer and started in Feb, so I'm building works up haha

2. What's your total AO3 word count? - 98,474

3. What fandoms do you write for? - Stardew Valley right now! Tossing around some ideas for Life is Strange but idk.

4. Top five fics by kudos? - 1. This Modern Love, 2. Heartbeats, 3. We Played Hide and Seek in Waterfalls, and 4. Hoppipolla

5. Do you respond to comments? - ALWAYS. If someone takes the time out of their day to comment on my stuff I want to respond with equal enthusiasm. I can't express how motivating they are.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - I don't do angsty endings, only angsty middles hehe. With that in mind, Do You Realize??.....

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - Probably This Modern Love? They all have happy endings honestly.

8. Do you get hate on fics? - Not that I know of!

9. Do you write smut? - Everything I've written has smut lol.

10. Craziest crossover? - Not really a crossover person tbh!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? - Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - No, though with the right person it sounds like it'd be fun!

14. All time favorite ship - I'm biased lol, my OC Sage and Sebastian <3

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? - I have WIPs that are sitting in Google Drive purgatory but have every intention of finishing them. I don't allow myself to start something if I don't think I can finish.

16. What are your writing strengths? - From what I've been told - immersive writing, bringing readers into the story, good at emotional scenes, and descriptive writing? Idk how true it all is.

17. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? - The only other language I speak conversationally is Spanish (and that's being generous.) I'd hate to butcher a beautiful language so it's not something I'd do, but I'm not against others doing it.

18. First fandom you wrote in? - -cough-naruto-cough- (I was fourteen and wrote it on old notebook paper, ageing myself here lol)

19. Favorite fic you've written? - Toss up between Heartbeats and We Played Hide and Seek in Waterfalls. I LOVE writing with beautiful descriptions and lovely full emotions and I think those two are my best so far.

20. There was no 20th question, so I'm making one up! Tips for newbie writers? - Get! Writing! Seriously, pick up a pen or a phone or a laptop and just get going. You're gonna figure it out as you go along. Over time you'll identify your weaknesses, and when you do, study up!

shit I forgot to tag people fucking hell lol OPEN TAG please tag me if you answer I'd love to see your answers!!

[cassierobinsons]

to the anon from a few days ago: sorry i'm only just getting back to you on the sam + classism discussion. putting this under a cut because it's rambly

To me the whole Sam classism thing is very much like coming from an immigrant family the people you will meet who complain about "illegals" because they didn't do it "the right way". Like generally, these are not people who hate immigrants or approve of ICE or anything like that, but they still feel a certain moral superiority in having improved their situation "the correct way". I don't think Sam thinks homeless people should all be sent to prison or anything, but I think he still looks at himself as having done something morally correct in getting out of his situation (even though he really didnt in the long run excluding the finale). You see this attitude with other things like when he asks Max why didn't you just leave. I don't think he has no empathy for these situations, but there's like a mental block of not understanding the barriers that other people might face that he didnt.

Oh i extremely know what you mean as a fellow child of immigrants. my mum will make a snide comment while watching the news and i’ll be like 🤨 oh so now we’re pretending that your friend [DATA EXPUNGED] is here totally legally huh. it comes from a small-c conservative belief that there exists a group of people who are less "deserving" than them.

“Morally correct” also happens to be how the fandom sees sam's escape from the family, when it’s just Morally neutral? Like it’s a good thing. But says nothing about sam’s moral fibre because it was for self-preservation reasons. that's not a bad thing either! and i obviously don't think fandom is bad for thinking of sam's hard work as an admirable trait but there needs to be some acknowledgement of his perspective is a little skewed.

Max is a great example to use because sam isn’t being spiteful, but he is being thoughtless and most of it is due to him literally being a man in his early 20s but like, it’s also because of how he grew up and how he got out.

sam’s judgy moments are at their most interesting in s1 because there’s so many of them and because they’re so intentional. Like, intentional on the part of the writers, not sam. his response to max is a reflection of how idk, myopic? sam’s read of dean and their family situation is. It’s an in-universe character flaw he has to work on in order to repair the bond between them, just as dean’s seething resentment over sam’s departure is something he needs to work on too. s1 is about both of them learning to see other as their dad's victim.

I think in general in the fandom you get these sort of knee jerk reactions like "no they can't be racist/sexist/homophobic/classist/etc, they don't hate xyz people" but really no one is saying they do. Like no one is saying Sam spits on poor people. No one is saying Dean thinks women are beneath him. But they both clearly have some ingrained beliefs that are ultimately prejudiced! These aren't immutable characteristics. In fact, I think for the most part if someone had an actual deep discussion with them about it they'd probably come around fairly easily, but that doesn't mean Sam scoffing at Dean hustling pool or Dean saying "sweetheart this ain't gender studies" aren't bad things to do. Like they're often understandable character flaws based on the characters backgrounds, but they're still there.

Honestly, i’d argue that plenty of people ARE saying that dean sees women as beneath him or that sam despises the poor or vice-versa etc. but like. Hmm. this is a tv show for a narrow group of people written by an even narrower group of people and thus the show reflects the views & prejudices of the people writing them. There are moments in which we’re supposed to approve of dean’s sexism but there are also moments where we’re supposed to disapprove while simultaneously approve of or at least be okay with sam’s sexism. There are moments where we’re supposed to think sam’s being a judgy snob, but there are still others where we’re supposed to wrinkle our noses at how uncouth and lumpenprole dean is in comparison to college boy sam. And that goes for the many other -isms in the show. characters are often used as vectors for the beliefs of the writers, good or bad. It’s up to the individual how they choose to make peace with that, but the problem with this fandom is that discussions about isms get heavily wrapped up with stan wars. 

Lemme give an example. It’s incredibly common in samgirl spaces to paint dean as a homophobic neanderthal. they usually do this by taking a shitty comment from season 3 and extrapolating it until they’re talking about s15 dean as if he can’t so much as look at a gay person without threatening to kill them in that sense they’re no different to the desticule circa 2020-2023 WHOA WHO SAID THAT anyway they pretend it’s just a heehee haha jokeyjoke but like. it is 2024 and they STILL can’t engage with conversations about queer dean without talking about deangirls as if they are personally endorsing homophobia! As a result if someone points out that sam makes just as many homophobic jokes as dean does and he’s just slyer about it they flip the fuck out because they’re lowkey projecting and think you’re judging them as hard as they judge you. This is why the mildest criticisms of sam prompt an insane amount of backlash. 

(i talk a little more about this phenomenon here)

and so we come to discussions about sam and classism that feel like people trying to defend him at every turn because they sincerely think we're trying to cancel him and it's pissing me off because if we can't even suggest fictional character sam winchester is maybe a little classist how the hell are we going to address the DERANGED lvls of classism throughout this fandom. i've never been in a fandom where so many people think going to college makes a str8 person better equipped to talk about queerness than actual queer people until i joined spn fandom.

(discussions about racism/racialised misogyny get a lot more complicated and a lot more depressing than anything mentioned above so i'm not approaching that topic for now. "but-" don't care didn't ask plus i probably have more melanin than you. i don't wanna talk about it!!!)

anyway. idk what i'm saying. i think i get where the defensiveness is coming from but it's annoying. what if we just mutually agreed that we're not to blame for spn's bigotry but we also have a responsibility not to reproduce that same bigotry? what if???

EDIT: coming back a day later to say that I do agree with your assertion that a deep conversation could be enough to change them! I just think that a certain part of fandom is allergic to acknowledging ANY flaw at all and that's the biggest hurdle in these discussions.