#do i sound frantic
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hello! i’m doing terribly at my big girl job! but what i’m excelling at is reading fanfiction! so that’s all that matters!
#do i sound frantic#ha ha ha ha#lanas crying again#it’s fine though#cause remus lupin is making soup#and wishing on stars#and that’s what counts here
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something about saiki just tells me that he would enjoy some sad harmonica
#i dont. fucking knwo#i can just picture him so clearly sitting on top of a skyscraper and harmonica-ing sadly#with a straight face#so so serious about it#it starts raining and he starts harmonica-ing with fervour#frantic harmonica sounds#nendo got double dog dared to slap his coffee jelly out of his hands that morning and he DIDNT SEE IT COMING#he hasnt been able to even look at nendo since#he's up there for hours putting on the harmonica solo of a lifetime#he never even learned harmonica he can just Do That#saiki k#saiki kusuo#not tagging this properly bc its a shitpost at best
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my navigation audiobook is describing the process of gluing little stilts to ant legs and i am. so sad. they count their steps to find their way home 🥺 “like little accountants” 🥺 why are u confusing them like that
#the gluing process Does sound unironically very delightful and whimsical tho#they stick the ants body-first into clay to hold them mostly still#and then frantically try 2 glue single paint brush bristles onto the legs which are. still constantly flailing#just hours doing this. just to set them down and watch them overshoot home by a distance proportional 2 the increased stride length#and be like ‘where the fuck am i’#imagine going 2 all that trouble just 2 confuse the shit out of an insect
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me, a writer, trying to live my life:
the Characters: having a knock down drag out argument in my head
#lucy gray and coriolanus are currently yelling at each other in my mind#and i have to frantically type the dialogue in my notes app so i don't forget#is this relatable or do i sound insane#chrissy.txt
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christ alive this can't be it dog
#(knocking on my brain) hey bud. hey bud. what's with all this#idk what happened to make my state so fragile but it's absolutely nuts how quick things can turn o#around on me#i was locked in misery for days and then on wednesday i was suddenly feeling like everything was great#and i could turn everything around. and then on thursday i was like: ah well maybe not but i can still- maybe i can still-#anyway i'm back in the misery. shortest swing of my life i hated that can i get out of here for real now#see it's so bizarre because it's like i have a crafted layer of things i enjoy plastered over a well of swirling dark water#and i'll like hear a sound or have a thought and then i have to frantically run around trying to shore up my defenses#cause a hurricane of bad feelings starts whipping at me#it's so nuts how end of the world this feels when i know it's not a big deal. seriously calm down#i'm still doing all my regular shit i'm just finding it a little difficult to create. and my desire for physical feeling is very strong#but lord above i gotta get my shit together in here it's not habitable
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Song of the Day: December 1. Starting this again! It has been years
"Soap" by the Oh Hellos
#song of the day#I used to use these posts as a sort of daily babbling opportunity and I'm gonna give that a shot again#I'm awful at journaling (for all that I'll tell a story about my day at the drop of a hat I just can't seem to write it down for me)#but a good few of the dumb little articles I've found in my desperate searching for insomnia aids have recommended journals#sleep or otherwise#and I do think it helped me keep track of days/times/general impressions of how I was feeling back when I did this before#so I'm gonna try it again!#if y'all'd like a more specific blockable tag just let me know#anyway I love this song and I was thinking a silly thing earlier and it started autoplaying in my head and I was like /perfect/#silly concept aside the song itself is a delight. a great sound very fun to sing and clever lyrics#'a rudimentary lye; some kind of miraculous bind'#and I'm just sentimental/superstitious enough to be happy starting this frantic attempt to train my brain into sleeping again#with a song that ends with 'it's gonna hurt like hell / but we're going to be well / I'll give you my best shot'
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I've been having fun playing around with audio edits and I kinda want to make ones inspired by btd? stuff like, "you're running and you hear strade laughing from the distance" stuff."
#I know there was this blogger who used to do horror audio edit themes too and they disappeared from the surface of the earth#that inspired me to make ambience asmr audios :( I loved those#so I'm going to make them myself because there are so many fun ideas#shut up cici#I also found an audio clip sound of duct tapes being ripped and immediately thought of lawrence#and also sounds of pill bottles jiggling frantically and thought of him as well#playing around with audacity makes me happy
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sometimes i remember how it's possible to kill literally *everyone* in this game
#the frantic meows of a crazy person#i could go around killing innocents if i so pleased#how ever that sounds like a very bad idea#even if i got a new save just to do that. they tend to be in very large groups
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Y'know, sometimes I forget that Miguel O'hara is an Oscar boy. I'll just be sitting there watching atsv and being like, "His voice sounds So similar," before common sense kicks in, and I remember he's voiced by Oscar Isaac.
Not quite the same but like - when itsv first came out on digital and I watched it for the first time, I think I knew there were after credits scenes so I watched them, and I remember sitting there listening to Miguel and Lyla banter and thinking to myself (laughingly) "hey wait a minute, this guy sounds kind of like Poe"
and then that kind of sank in after a couple more seconds of hearing him talk, at which point I went "........wait"
#and then i did a very frantic google search i think#i am kind of at the place where i'm like. unable to forget he's voicing miguel because i'm a teensy bit embarrassed to have A Third OI#Blorbo but it's fine we're working on it#and i get so excited that my favorite actor is IN spidey!!!! but like i get it ALSO because sometimes i will deadass forget he's playing#characters in stuff i've seen. i forget he's in xmen routinely.#and it's. my favorite of the xmen movies.#sorry bud i'm more focused on the /other/ blue fella in the movie (kurt u absolute cutie ilysm)#but also like his voice as miguel is SO different at times it IS easy to forget he's him#when i watched the addams family cartoon with him as gomez....man if i did not know oscar was voicing him#i WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN.#he's just that good.#unpopular opinion but i just. kicks my feet. i really love his animation work.#POSSIBLY because i'm a cartoon girlie at heart#but i do love his va work.#he's very very talented at it and also his voice is very relaxing to listen to. it's a win win.#ask box#userorb#sometimes i remember how long it took me to clock that he WAS miguel intially and i giggle fr#the full like thirty or forty seconds it took between 'hah he sounds a lil like poe' and my 'wait a second-'#i am. easily amused.
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sometimes. minecraft can be a horror game
#shoutout to that time a while ago i hadnt played minecraft in a long time#and didnt know what all new was added#nighttime comes and i havent figured out where i wanna live yet so i just go out into the ocean to be safe from monsters#THEN THERES THIS FREAKY ASS SOUND IVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE AND ITS DARK AS SHIT AND I CANT SEE WHATS ATTACKING ME IN THE WATER#this is how i first encountered a drowned. never knew they existed til that#minecraft#also any time an enemy attacks me is a jumpscare </3#it makes me jump then im just frantic like OH SHIT SOMETHING WHATS ATTACKING ME WHERE IS IT#playing in first person is not for me but im so used to it so third person minecraft feels so weird :(#also im always too scared of entering caves fjdkjfj too many areas thatre dark even as i light up my way#so many paths for enemies to come from#not to mention the nether and end which im entirely unfamiliar with#so not really nowing the specifics of the enemies n such makes me more nervous to explore it#someday i need to just turn on keepinventory and just do a playthrough of checking out caves and the nether n the end#finally familiarize myself with traversing them so ill finally hopefully not be so nervous to in the future
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what if summer's "we'll have a better chance if we try together" moment was her trying to convince raven to join salem too
#frantically connecting dots that don't exist ahead of saturday#salem has a Plan that isn't about destroying the world it's about defying the gods#and summer tried to convince raven#rwby#summer rose#raven branwen#salem#iz.txt#this makes sense in my head I swear#I still don't expect it to be *right*#but I do think we'll find out the context for 'you sound just like your mother' on saturday and I'm very very excited#rwby spoilers
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it's so weird working in a field that i am like very passionate about because like I assume that other people have the same level of interest as me and have done the same research and wanted to know the same things. but almost everyone ive come across doesn't think about it that much
#like things that i would assume are very basic as well#like my old work friend was telling me yesterday that if your dog touches you when you quit petting them it means they want more pets#and i didnt say anything but in my head i was so confused like how do you not know when your dog wants more pets#like with maple she is basically speaking to me in english#and its just made me feel even worse that they chose me to lay off because like i am truly passionate about animals#and i know its probably because of my symptoms that they let me go but it stings#i sound like such an ass in this post i dont know how to word it#im not saying theyre less passionate jusg that it suprises me that the way that they experience passion doesnt include frantic research and#trivia
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not my cousin texting me asking me to help him plan my sisters bday party that he wants to surprise her with but he forgot my birthday… last week??
#like i love my sister but why should i help you when you forgot about me lmao????#do i sound selfish?? idk#i guess for context this cousin of mine swears we’re cool but i’ve made it clear many times that i don’t agree with his lack of morals and#his ideologies so i don’t even talk to him or hang out with him like that#but i just think it’s funny the audacity to ask me to help plan this surprise party when you completely ignored my birthday nor haven’t#talked to me in a while so like????#again idk maybe i’m being frantic and selfish but i just had to let this out#**dramatic not frantic#mytxt
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"hey HEY what do you have in your mouth!!! sit SIT. SPIT IT OUT GIVE IT—" but instead of talking to a dog it's me about my parents using the word overstimulated as nothing but another way to make fun of our anxious traumatized dog for doing things they find inconvenient or unreasonable or illogical (and, by extension, everyone who uses the term for legitimate reasons). (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE I DON'T USE IT AROUND THEM On Purpose BECAUSE I KNOW THEY'D BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
#cannot stress enough that they are ill informed. they do not know what they're talking about and would not accept it if i told them#they're not accomodating to sensory needs and do not fucking know the context of capital o Overstimulation in regards to like. ppl with#sensory difficulties. like. c'mon man. if i told you i was overstimulated you'd tell me it wasn't that bad and i should just sit still and#shut up. but suddenly it's fine when you're making jokes about??? completely unrelated things??? i mean. dogs can probably be#overstimulated. i think everyone can in kind of a general sense. but they act like her getting up from the couch or smth is some frantic#strange action. they're super fucking weird about her actually they'll like. tease(?) her about how needy and pathetic and unloved she is#and how 'traumatized' she is and how that makes her act in ways that bother them in kind of an eye roll-y way which like.#SHE *IS* TRAUMATIZED. WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT SHE HAS REASON TO ACT LIKE THIS#like 'haha she's soooo afraid we'll abandon her she's so ridiculous' what like how she was ditched as a puppy and lived on the streets for#like a year? you don't think that could've affected her at all#fucking psych major bullshit ass. 'formative experiences actually don't affect you lol' go fuck yourself#im not saying you can't tease your pets but they're treating her like her anxiety and even basic affection seeking is some huge burden#when it's absolutely not. they just want to be mean to her because they don't want her to act that way and don't care about how she feels#because they think they know better and she has no immediate reason to feel that way. god i wonder if THAT has any relevance to how they#raised their children. christ on a cracker man what the fuck#how to create an environment where your children feel safe expressing their problems (a goal they supposedly have):#1) not whatever this shit is. what the fuck is wrong with you#look maybe it doesn't sound that bad but it's been going on for years and it's been pissing me off for years. they're so cruel and for what#it's such a double standard. our other (male) dog seeks affection about as often and they don't ever make fun of him for it#and they've gotten more and more entitled about her showing affection. like it's commanded now. it's gross to me okay i don't like it#she's a sweet and kind and loving girl and i don't get why they feel the need to act like her wanting their love is so horrible when they#literally want that from her and scold her when she doesn't do it#this general attitude that ppl are over exaggerating their trauma or their feelings or their needs/wants/boundaries is so pervasive w them#that complete disregard for/invalidation of how others feel if you can't personally relate to or understand it. the mockery and cruelty#they wouldn't do it if she could understand them. i think they just like having that power over smth small that loves them#so *i* have to be like 'ohhh i love u ur so good!! im so happy ur here' to her to balance it and then thats also seen as ridiculous. wtf#skrunks' parents be considerate and introspective to ppl without risk of rejection if unkind & also don't be ableist challenge (impossible)#they will call low/no empathy ppl frightening monsters and then do this shit. empathy is not necessary for kindness and frankly if that's#your only reason to care about the wellbeing of others i think that's worse. bitch IM low empathy. at least i give a shit#im so glad my mom didnt puruse psychology after her bachelor's she woulda hurt so many people. or maybe she'd be better idk. fucks sake
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#me: itll b done monday. itll b done Monday. no more of this experiment after Monday.#my boss Saturday morning: we made some changes to the end of the experiment. u dont have to take measurements sunday and Monday. youll do#it Tuesday and Wednesday.#me: ...i cant even. if i have to fucking do that. why would u do this to me? why the fuck cant i just fucking do it sunday/Monday?#im not fucking doing that. im not. fuck off. why would u do this??? is it bc my birthday is Monday so u think ill b sad abt being in the#lab? bc im im fucking not in the lab and this fucking experiment is still going ill spend the day crying and unable to do fucking anything#bc i just kno ill have to come back on fucking Tuesday and do this again#is it bc u think the post processing will take too long so u wanna split between days? bc i will fucking sit there all fucking night#on Monday if it means i can fucking get this over with. ugh. great start to this fucking day. fantastic#ive already emailed back like: um hey some of these changes make sense bc um what the fuck??? it doesnt make sense to offset my#measurements? so what thr fuck???? but like more polite and hopefully less frantic sounding. god. i hope she doesn't have a valid reason#for this. i dont wanna fucking do that and i will fight back#email. me. back. my fucking stomach hurts abt this >:-[ also i didnt get a lot of sleep and came in at like 6.30am#bc i forgot to measure prewatering weights over the 2 weeks. oops. so im maybe not that steady#but i fucking hate this idea. and im not saying i refuse to do it. but i fucking refuse to do it#well see if i hold out. agh. birthday present to me. i get to be selfish and end this project early. and by selfish i mean i get to protect#my brain a tiny little bit. a teeny tiny bit. except my apartment is now so fucking cold ill probably end up in the lab anyway#bc everytimr thry turn on the air in my building its like so so so cold snd i dont have temp control and i wont complain#unrelated#i need my answer before 5.30 or my head will explode
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vash the stampede trigun 🤝 c!ponk dsmp
blond guy whose left arm was cut off by someone they love, have questionable morals, both of them hate themselves, have so much trauma and issues, and have copious amounts of gender
#whiskey yelling into the void#guys please please please tell me u see it#pointing frantically at the scene where wolfwood tells vash to kill him and the scene where csam tells cponk to kill him#THEY R THE SAME!!!! THEY R THE SAME#vashwood and awesamponk and dirkjake are all the same ship just in different flavours#can you hear me or do i sound insane. do u see it
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