#do i have any idea what's going on? no bc it's a lyric video not an MV and so i have no visual context

[theinfinitedivides]

Sonu singing for Shah Rukh again............ with lyrics by Javed Akhtar............... the world is healing

[moviecritc]

Hi I don't know if you write about Charles and Alexandra, but what about something based in obsessed by olivia rodrigo, in a more sapphic way, maybe reader and alex can make out or something. also if you can mix it with smau would be super cool 💕

obsessed ⋆ charles leclerc, alexandra saint mleux

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader (various fc) x alexandra saint mleux

warnings: some bad words for the three of them (it was for the sake of the plot, nothing to harsh)

a/n: i made her a singer to add more drama. also i loooved this idea, i've been wanting to write something like this so much, thanks for requesting it <33

Remember that requests are open 💕💕

masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd

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yourusername some visuals from the Paris music video 💜🩷💙

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user1 i felt so seen in the first verses of the song, i'm also a sucker for gossip

charlesleclerc 💜😍

user2 so dry

user3 what is someone so cool like yn dating someone so boring and simple like charles

user4 graduated in cuntology with a master in slayfication and cum laude in mother is mothering 101

sabrinacarpenter princess of glittery gel pen songs 💜💜💜💜

user5 IM SO IN LOVE

user5 that i might stop breathing

user6 yn using paris as a joke bc charles is monegasque is beyond cuteness

user7 GOALS.

user8 imagine having YN LN as a gf and NOT POSTING HER leclerc you better watch out

user9 it's giving taylor and joe

user10 THE HEARTSSS never beating bi allegations

When Y/N saw the Instagram notification, curiosity got the better of her. Just curiosity. She and Charles had been dating for almost six months, and this was the girl he had been with before her, so she simply wanted to know who she was. She scrolled through her posts, seeing the life she had after breaking up with Charles; she worked at a museum in Monaco and at the same time was an influencer.

Looking at her photos, she realized she was very beautiful. Very, very beautiful. Her hair was healthy, long, and a gorgeous dark brown, her body was perfect, the clothes fit her great, and she had a very sweet voice. She wondered why Charles had ended things with Alexandra.

Then, as she scrolled through her highlighted stories, she accidentally liked one. Y/N immediately threw her phone down. "Shit," she said, grimacing. "Shit, shit, shit." She picked up the phone again and saw the red heart on a photo of Alexandra in a bikini with a beautiful sunset in the background. Y/N stared at the photo for a moment and then removed the like.

She ran her hands over her face, feeling like an idiot. Alexandra would still see the notification, then she would see that Y/N had removed the like, and she would probably think she was weird. Or worse, she could message Charles, asking what his girlfriend was doing stalking her profile.

Charles was at the Grand Prix of Canada at that moment, she was in Monaco. The time difference was huge, and she wasn't going to bother him with this nonsense. So she decided to message Alexandra directly.

Y/N couldn't stop thinking about Alexandra for the rest of the day. She found herself a couple of times staring at her pictures, she knew that Alex lived in Monaco and that they could bump into each other anytime. That idea felt amazing. She seemed like a gorgeous person, and the little chit chat they had felt really comfortable, even when Alex was her boyfriend's ex.

Y/N didn't mention any of this to Charles, he probably just make a big deal of it and they would have a discussion. And she was too lazy to think about arguments.

So she wrote a song. For the nexts days she focused on the lyrics and when Y/N handed the papers to her producer, they loved it. As soon as they could they recorded the song.

When Charles came back from the race, he found Y/N staying after midnight in the studio so she could finish the song. And he didn't complaint, because he really thought the song was about him.

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yourusername 'obsessed' is now yours, with the mv starring @alexademie 🍒🍸💎

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alexademie so proud of this project 🤧💙

sabrinacarpenter MISS? i was not expecting this at all and it was so so good 😩😩

gracieabrams QUEEN. in capitals and screaming.

chappelroan so cunty, so hot, so sapphic.

laufey ok now IM obsessed with YOU.

She didn't even think it was a bad idea until she saw her. They had decided to meet at a private club in Monaco; Alex wore a black satin dress that fit her extremely well, with her hair loose as she had seen so often in photos and a sparkling gaze. Y/N felt stupid for only wearing a white top and jeans.

"You showed up," Alexandra said with a smirk.

"You thought I wouldn't come?" she asked, matching her expression. Alexandra lowered her head, saying nothing and tucking her hair behind her ear. Y/N went to the bar and ordered a round of shots, although she didn't need to get drunk to do what she was about to do.

She drank one and then watched as Alexandra imitated her.

"Where did you leave Charles?" Alexandra asked, pulling her to a sofa area. The club wasn't very crowded, but more people would start arriving soon.

Y/N clicked her tongue. "Charles is the last person I want to talk about right now, honestly."

"You're right," Alexandra agreed as she nodded. "Let's talk about the song, then."

Y/N looked at her with a silly smile, trying very hard not to feel embarrassed. Although she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about, she could see from Alex's expression that she had liked the song.

"What did you think?" she asked, sipping her cocktail.

"I loved it. I never thought someone would write songs about me," she lowered her gaze a little and then Y/N noticed how she had the tip of her heel circling around her foot.

"Did Charles ever dedicate any of his piano songs to you?" Y/N asked, furrowing her brow a little.

"Charles never even dedicated time to me," Alexandra looked away a bit.

Y/N nodded, perfectly understanding what Alexandra was talking about. Charles was too focused on his career, and unless you asked him, he could completely ignore you for weeks or change plans you had been planning for months because he had to train. That was the kind of person Charles was. At first, it had been a dream, accompanying him to his races and spending time with him, but when you scheduled a tour to be able to attend most of his races and he didn't show up at almost any of your concerts… It affected you.

"Men," Y/N said simply, rolling her eyes.

"Exactly! They're unbelievable, in the worst sense of the word," Alex spoke, slightly laughing.

They fell silent for a few moments, not breaking eye contact. The music had been turned up, and they were bathed in purple and green lights, moving around the room. Alexandra almost glowed for Y/N's eyes; under that lighting, everything seemed unreal. She leaned toward her, but didn't make the final move, wanting Alex to take that step.

Alexandra smiled mischievously and pressed their lips together. It was a calm kiss, not too long but their lips touched enough to explore them calmly, and for Y/N to remember the slight scent of red licorice from Alex's cologne.

As they separated, Alexandra got as close as possible to Y/N, resting her head on her shoulder. "Are you drunk?" Y/N questioned, fearing for a moment that it was all an act of alcohol.

"No," she denied vehemently.

Y/N didn't think much more about it, discreetly grabbed her phone to text Charles that it was best for them to end their relationship. She and Alexandra kissed a couple more times that night.

Five months later

alexandrasaintmleux just posted a story!

[caption 1: opening night 🍒 @yourusername] [caption 2: best view 💖]

[sillystappen]

HELLO

i was wondering if you can do max as a singer and not a driver

i wonder if he can be MARINA and he interested in f1 and goes there to watch the races

HIHI!!!

Singer!Max huh? Ok I see you.

And mother of god did figuring the logistics of this AU hurt my brain :')

Ofc Max would retain his interest in F1 heck I might even make him kart when he was a kid but drop out for angsty lore reasons. Naturally this would make his relationship with his father very strained and almost nonexistent if it weren't for the fact Max still hasn't blocked his number. He spent most of his kid/teenage life with his mum and sister in belgium and thrived in music classes, having a natural sense of rhythm and being able to hear the layers in a song. He still watches F1 on tv and becomes a Daniel fan after Spain 2014 - Daniel's first podium, though he also is team Rosberg when brocedes happens (no reason other than I like Nico Rosberg)

As for his music type honest to god I can see why you would say MARINA as those lyrics can definitely be Max coded but genre wise and looking at her performing idk if that fits the Max vibes bc I wanna keep him from going too OOC. But not in a total stray from the idea of MARINA, I propose... Conan Gray. Still kinda indie vibes (and I love indie) and there's a lot of desiderium songs as well as full on pop bops and hopeless romantic stuff which give people some good emotional rollercoaster concerts. However these songs and albums release date will be manipulated to it my narrative because trying to align a calendar with an interesting plot and those songs just was too much...

For Daniel and any race settings, I am thinking of using the 2021 season. Which I'm sure you all are thinking: Silly, what would be the 2021 season without Max in it? Wouldn't it just go to Lewis without a fight? And I thought long and hard about it, looking through the grid and reserves to see who if anyone should take the seat that Max originally had and... it's Daniel. You heard it here first folks this baby is a Daniel never left Red Bull fic too. Using this Mr V's Garage's video, I borrowed the simulated 2021 season between Norris and Sainz and made it Lewis and Daniel (who will ofc win) with 3rd place going to Checo (because i like checo) and 4th Bottas. As for Abu Dhabi... there's no way it won't be controversial come on.

I imagine a meeting between Daniel and Max would be him getting paddock passes after saving up and ends up being recognised by Daniel at the Belgian Grand Prix. At this point he has he has had Kid Krow out for nearly 2 years after saving a crap load of money from royalties and a birthday gift from his sister he finally had enough money for a paddock pass over a grandstand ticket (but holy fuck those things are expensive). He meets Daniel who is like "holy shit you're Max Verstappen! Wearing my DR3 hat?" and Max feels like holy shit is very much correct because Daniel knows who he is?!?! Queue both of them having a fanboy moment and Daniel admitting he cried when he heard heather for the first time. But Daniel has to be pulled away so he gives Max his number and invites him to the garage (much to christian's chagrin but hey, number one golden driver championship contender privileges). Max totally nerds and Daniel thinks its cute and the mechanics are surprised by Max's knowledge.

They go on "friend-dates" to get to know each other properly and surprisingly (to them not to us) they click really well. Daniel invites him to GPs and Max invites Daniel to music video sets (they sneak Daniel into an MV and if you look close enough you can see him in the background) and a lot of trips to the recording studio. The internet being the internet picks up on this and are like AIN'T NO WAY OMG WORLDS COLLIDING all dramatic like that. There's even TikTok edits and a small tumblr community (hi) about them.

Then one day Max goes on an interview and is asked about Daniel. "He's probably the best person in my life right now, outside of work and family. Gosh, I've been a fan since 2014, and my sister will tell you I yelled pretty loudly when he won in Canada that year. But the Daniel you guys see in media is only half the story. He's kind and considerate and generous and a really comfortable person to be around and I am glad I bumped into him in Spa. He's been my rock as I work on my newest album."

Hashtag maxiel starts popping off a lot more mainstream and Daniel calls Max after the interview to tell him how sweet and lovely he is and as he gushes Daniel has the 'oh I love him' moment, like actually in love and not just a how a fan would. He doesn't say it, of course, but the penny has dropped.

For Max, the 'oh I love him' would be when they're back in Daniel's hotel room post race (that Daniel won ofc) and they're sat on a sofa in front of a quiet TV playing some sort of movie when Daniel falls asleep on Max's shoulder. Max looks down at him and just knows 'i love him' then and there. It's a quiet realisation, and one he is content with.

As for how they get together, it's one of the times Daniel is in Max's recording studio listening as Max sings, completely entrapped. When Max finishes and sits down next to him, he asks what Daniel thinks Daniel doesn't hesitate to say he thinks Max is amazing and that the song will be a hit, but suggests a few tweaks to the instrumental. Max takes this seriously and appreciates the honesty, kissing Daniel's cheek as thanks. It was the way Max looked at him and gently held his face that has Daniel sitting there for a moment before going fuck it and properly kissing Max.

They don't announce their relationship until Daniel after wins his second championship in 2022 but spend the rest of 2021 and the entirety of 2022 soft launching it and teasing. Daniel posts photos of Max hugging him in Abu Dhabi 2021 and lots of photos of them hanging out in winter and summer break. The F1 media catches Max in the paddock and Red Bull garage a lot and Daniel at the Superache tour in late 2022 (what about the tour? what tour? the early 2022 world tour? yh that didnt happen I'm just adding a couple songs from there into the superache setlist). Max also posts a video of Daniel lipsyncing to Overdrive whilst holding a deodorant can and standing on a bed.

The actual announcement spooks the F1 world more than the music one and at first it's a lot for them, the questions and the prying, the demand to know it all and of course the homophobia but they get through it all fine and dandy.

Oh and Jimmy and Sassy? They give Daniel the seal of approval the moment he shows up offering pets. And that was the only outside opinion that ever mattered.

{I may flesh this into a full on fic, but I also might not but I liked your idea anyway and wanted to put the concept I created into the world! I hope you like it.}

[inadvisablebutinevitable]

what time period accurate songs do you think jeremy would be listening to in tsc? 👀

Miss California by Dante Thomas

Anon I love you so much because you have no idea how much I ask this to myself on a regular basis. A couple weeks ago I was walking to work whilst brainstorming Jeremy Knox music headcanons and almost died to the tune of Believe by Cher while crossing the street. (Embarrassing, but also, what a way to go)

after changing my mind about 700 times, I decided that Jeremy, at least on a surface level, will dance/sing to literally any popular song with a good beat, (whether or not he actually sings the right lyrics is always 50/50) but he does love to sing. This comes from a tumblr post I saw like years ago saying that Jean takes a video of Jeremy singing Kylie Minogue’s “Your Disco Needs You” at 3am, and now that’s just canon Jeremy to me.

Jeremy was a kid in the 90s so TONS of 90s nostalgia stuff, all upbeat. Song 2, All star, What is love, Baby one more time, Tubthumping, all the catchy earworms he would hear on the radio and belt out as a kid. (It’s @kevinsdsy’s fault song 2 was the first on this list. The Jeremy Knox blur brainrot is real)

Jeremy, having heard these songs as a kid, knows all the lyrics just by memory. Even he doesn’t know about this until Cat plays Ricky Martin on her boombox and all of a sudden Jer is on the table with a solo cup microphone.

(“isn’t he only attracted to men?”Jean whispers to Cat as they watch Jeremy belt out ‘She Bangs’ in the most enthusiastic way possible.

“Honestly, l didn’t even think about that. I’m just pissed that they’re only playing the English version”, Cat whispers back)

Jeremy is also notorious for dancing to other team’s entrance songs when they walk on the court. The Breckenridge Jackals, for example, walk on court to Who Let the Dogs out, and Jer unironically uses that as pump up music. He aggressively nods his head to the beat of Let’s Get it Started when Penn State walks out. This leads to many (many) YouTube compilations titled something along the lines of “10 mins straight of Jeremy Knox shaking ass to his opponent’s anthems”

BUT also, privately, on his little 2006 iPod Mini (lol remember those), Jeremy listens to more alt rock (modern-day dad rock), like Muse, The Killers, Queens of The Stone Age etc… (this is based on a lighter version of the style of music Nora assigned to Andreil in the EC, and also my personal taste from that time period). I think it’s what he listens to on bad days, either bc he needs to drown out his depressing thoughts after seeing his family, or bc he isn’t quite mentally ready to fully process the insane truths Jean reveals on a day to day basis. Also days where he’s feeling more in-tune with his emotions and stuff.

anyway, I’m sorry, this got really long. I guess the tl;dr would be: imo, In TSC Jeremy loves to sing and dance to literally any popular 90s/early 00’s song bc that’s just who he is but privately on bad days he likes 2000’s alt rock.

[joesalw]

I spent $3k on eras tour tickets and like god knows how much on my stupid costume. I've made so many bracelets and I have a permanent tattoo on my leg of a line from august. as much as I haven't ever really liked it, I'm known for being a swiftie. I didn't like matty healy at all and was kind of part of the speakupnow movement without knowing it (lol), and I was really excited for this album as an english major. for that to be what I got? I've never really gotten along with other swifties, and I've said on multiple occasions that my experience as a swiftie has been incredibly isolating (even despite spending $3k on tickets and collecting most vinyls) but god, I don't think that I'm crazy when I say that some of these people are wild if they think that this album was a #girlboss move.

you guys have talked a lot about the other songs so I won't go over it again, as entertaining as it is, but one of the songs I haven't seen a whole lot of negative discussion about is but I can do it with a broken heart. babe. how are you going to promote that song (with awful lyrics btw) with videos of the eras tour and flashing to the crowd during the line "but the crowd was chanting MORE!" like I'm sorry I expected you to do your job at a concert I spent $3k trying to attend? how does making your audience feel guilty for trying to support you help you in any way, shape, or form? obviously I think she's allowed to feel poked and prodded at and overexposed bc I'm sure it was difficult, but also I can't feel sorry for her after shit like guilty as sin?.

anyways I pre-ordered a vinyl bc I thought "old habits die screaming" and I have to print out a return label for it now, haha. I haven't even opened the box yet, that album was so bad.

This is so valid because why are you crying that your fans expect you to do your job properly for the money they spent on your show???? Most of her fans even go feral with the bare minimum she does. And it's not the fans fault that she decided to do a 3 hours long show for 3 days per week. It was her own idea and own decision. Even though I agree that her fans are spoilt sometimes because they keep asking for more content the more she gives them, but again who made them like this in the first place? She! Nobody asked for an album in the middle of her tour with 16 wait 31 songs but she's dropping it it's like she can't stop feeding her fans. But at the same time she's complaining that they want more from her. And she's also complaining that the fans ruined her relationship like "sorry if you decide to have a moral compass that goes against me and my racist pretty baby boyfriend you are not my well wisher!" That's pretty much what she said and I think she did her fans so bad with this album. But they're still defending her with their lives, idk both swifties and taylor deserve each other at this point!

[yuseirra]

This isn't totally about 162 so I'll just post this without a read more:

Here I am trying to make sense out of things that don't~ it's times like this I realize I have a brain because I can feel it running frantically on its own in the background like CPU to form an analogy to make it all work together.

It's really confusing...tbh,

By the way, WHY did Kamiki acknowledge Ai was just your normal, ordinary girl if it were to come to this? It's what's helped me build my understanding around this guy, is that idea still relevant? About Kamiki still loving Ai even while seeing her as a person?

At this point, I won't be surprised if the author writes they changed what they originally planned bc they saw the reactions that insisted Kamiki should be a villain, because what's been going on totally contradicts what he's said back there. He DIDN'T have to say it, no one expected the character to make such a statement but he did, was there a point in that? That was the line he's made that sold me the idea that him and Ai could have really been a match as well as Ai's video.

Yeah, it's probably that Kamiki broke down after Ai passed? Because he couldn't bear her presence fading away year after year after her death, so he couldn't accept that and wanted to become closer to her somehow(through this bizzare reasoning he's formed)

So, this motive of his isn't about her popularity or how well she's known to the public, it's more about the way he "feels" about her. Because... Yeah, killing someone who surpasses Ai doesn't really automatically lead to her suddenly being acknowledged more by the public. It's really hard to form that sort of connection, wouldn't it?; and why do something like that during when Ai's still alive? It would have taken place after she's gone away.

Would it really be that he changed only because she left him? That wouldn't be it, could it?; she had his kids!! He could have gone and met them! The fact that she's alive and he could meet her would BE proving her presence and significance. So I do insist on the idea that Hikaru started growing the way he is after Ai's passing.

It does also align with the song's vibes on how he can't bear to live without her and would sacrifice anything, to fill in what's missing and all that. The song also states that he's accepted this sort of fate he is, and that he "wants to get closer to the only Ai"

So yes, it's determined that Fatal is really indeed his song.

In that case though, how DOES doing what he does make him grow closer to her?; Is there something that's made him convinced it'd actually prove to do so and an idea that has some sort of solid base or reality, or is it just him having a vague feeling of twisted closeness towards Ai? Goodness, what's gotten into him?

In an analysis I wrote sometime back, I wrote this must be the way he felt after Ai's death:

He hasn’t been able to move on at all. It’s like he was unable to take a single step forward from the moment Ai died. He’s probably been living with that kind of deep sorrow and despair, thinking he deserves to suffer as punishment, and he might have intentionally kept those feelings alive. That’s why I believe this character would’ve tried to undo the situation. To him, it’s as if time hasn’t passed at all… He just couldn’t accept Ai’s death, so he’d wish, even at the cost of anything, that it hadn’t happened, and maybe he wished he were dead instead of her. Without Ai, as the lyrics say in the song, he can't go on living. He doesn’t even want to live. If there had been any hope of saving her, I think he would’ve clung to it. If such a hope didn't exist, it would’ve been tough for him to hold on to these emotions for so long.

He really could not move on at all, huh...

But would he be worth sympathizing with or deserve some sort of pity if he only results to this... He's the one Ai loves and risked so much for, I really, really wanted that to be the case. Now I just don't know. Ai should smack him back to his senses if it is that he's lost it;

I really should give up on the idea that he wanted to bring Ai back to life at this point (even if that's what he wanted, I guess he's already crossed the line)

But why have lyrics like that in Mephisto, I wonder;; that song really ISN'T Aqua either. It's about wishing the dead back.

Hm.. It could be that he really did want her back but since that's what's impossible, he wanted to become like her by taking lives that he deems as valuable as Ai's and that really was all there is to it.

It'd be.. Sad if the guy Ai loved only amounts to this much though, I can sense his desperation and how significant Ai was to him, she really WAS his everything, but... That's not someone Ai should wish to save. He really should rot with all those lives he's taken(if he's ACTUALLY done so)so I wonder.

This turn of events would make sense and I'd have accepted it in one go if only 153-154 did not exist, so I really have to wonder what the author wants to do with that... Man, he seems too far gone repair,

REALLY!! Maybe he's really possessed and needs to undergo Misogi you know?? Sarutahiko is THE symbol of misogi.. Involves salt and water -_-)

Mephisto and Fatal really turned out to be his song!! I believe so? Because Aqua is not about wanting to meet someone beyond death again?? He's not all about I can't bear to live without you, what should I use to fill in what's missing?

So is this all there is to those songs? They seem too strong to be left at this. I feel it should be displayed in a more obvious and significant way within the story if it's tied this strongly. I'd do that if I were to be a comic writer because it'd be a perfect opportunity to bring a catharsis, but again, who knows? Mhm, I'll just stand back and read a few more chapters.

Seriously why introduce the idea that he was as far as being "noble"? There is no point in that if he results to someone that can kill their own child for some ridiculous reason. And some parts of the lyrics always stood out so much for me... Is it really natural for your average person to say things like embaracing destiny or fallen-ness, reincarnation, forgotten who I lived as, etc? Become someone else? I wonder if there is point to hope, but I do really want some explanations regarding why those whole had to be mentioned.

Will then, till next chapter drops!

[aroace-poly-show]

Hi you said you want to ramble, could you ramble some more about hollow ☆ wonderland i tried looking through your blog but search is. not working. so i failed to find anything at all

HEHEHEHEHH OF COURSE!!! and the reason for that is probably bc i haven’t posted very many details about them!! most of my rambles have been contained to dms with two of my friends and a currently 2.4k word doc of word and idea vomit 👍

anything posted before the most recent ask hasn’t been tagged correctly either, iirc i had a brief summary of the group a while ago though, tagged with “nightcord wxs” i think?? cause i didn’t have a name for them yet at the time. not changing it cause i’ve figured out more stuff since then so it’s sort of outdated. there’s probably a few posts lost in the marlo’s stuff tag, though that i didn’t tag properly but it’s okay those rambles are probably somewhere in my google doc.

anyway, since you didn’t rlly specify something in particular i’m probably just gonna ramble about whatever comes to mind. once again under the cut cause i can tell this is probably gonna get a bit long:

hollow ☆ wonderland is an online music group, and their videos are like kikuo style ones. but not necessarily ones like you are a useless child and aishite, more ones like and then you became the moon, welcome to the star inn, don’t look at me in that way, etc. pretty cutesy and happy sounding with a cute art style and then the lyrics tell a pretty dark story. that’s their general vibe. there’s a few songs i associate with them like judas by abuse (like i mentioned before) but i can’t confidently say it’s the kind of music they’d make. maybe that’ll change though we’ll see.

the group is composed of hoshi (tsukasa) the main lyricist, koki (emu), the artist, tako (rui) the animator and eventual co-lyricist, and kurage (nene), the composer.

they’re all silly online friends who like making music videos together and while none of them really talk about their issues pre-main story given that they’re not super close/don’t know each other super well yet, they still enjoy doing this together and care at least a little bit about each other.

i’m still figuring out how exactly the main story goes, but i’ve definitely made more progress now so HOPEFULLY i figure out a coherent story soon. i rlly do want to write a fic for them but don’t get your hopes up too much.

a few basic ideas i do have currently are some stuff like tsukasa, despite also being on his last hopes like the rest of them, is going to be the one to really encourage them all to start theater again. their sekai is a rundown theme park with lots of fireflies around, all the plushies are still there but they’re also worn down and have lots of patches and stuff on them. wonder stage has been closed down already, but it hasn’t been like torn down or replaced with a new attraction or anything. will it make a comeback? will hw be using it? we will see :)

i think the world hasn’t even started yet is still gonna be their untitled too. i’m thinking for their unit fits it’s gonna be something similar to the circus jester set cards? or at least the face paint thing. i’m absolutely giving them the face paint thing. and then there’s some other plot ideas i have but i’m not totally sure about them yet and i dunno how much sense they make on their own so i’m not gonna add them here.

uh. tsukasas name is hoshi since it means star iirc? so obviously he gets that name. koki meant something like to glitter, to shine, and i think emu would have liked that enough to choose it. and i already mentioned why rui and nenes names are what they are 👍

that is all for now. once again i’m more than happy to answer any other questions (like seriously i was so giddy and happy getting asked about them) so yknow feel free to ask. might answer a bit late cause i’m in school atm and have a lot to say but i will answer it eventually :3

[smallcrystals]

pls pls pls i need some flashspruce headcanons, idc what they're abt i just NEED

i've been on the verge of insanity lately

this is so real and honestly your insanity brought back mine so thank you

i feel like part of the reason i've kinda fell off my eqg soapbox is bc i felt like i've said all i've ever wanted to say abt them, but i don't think i have actually! if you do not mind me repeating myself occasionally:

between flashspruce, flash has the most experience with boys despite having realised his attraction to them later than timber did. this is mainly because flash is surrounded by more boys because high school, the maths is pretty simple

timber, on the other hand, had a more complicated relationship with sexuality because his gender was doing all sorts of funny things. he had an idea that he was pan (of course, he didn't have the words for it yet) but he was never sure if he was romantically interested in boys or just admired them so obsessively he wanted to be one. as timber grew into his teen years he realised it was both lol

timber hides this with his confidence but flash can see right through it because he's dealt with boys like this before when they've hit on him previously (though they're never quite as cute as timber is. pretty privilege i tell ya)

when they're friends, they have this specific dynamic that idk how to explain (the closest i can think of is hyung-dongsaeng in korean culture), but essentially it's this feeling of wanting to dote on your friends that are younger than you (even if it's just by months). that's how flash treats timber in the early stages – flash finds out he's older than timber by a few months and now he cannot think outside of timber = baby

timber loves the mane 7 but if flash is tagging along with their hangouts (which is usually the case, timber only rarely hangs out with them as a group by himself), he's very clingy and has his arm hooked with flash's. flash finds it adorable, especially when timber refuses to let go in public

i see 2 ways in which they can go from friends to lovers; either it's very natural and it doesn't feel like anything's changed, OR they've reached a breaking point where they're just seconds away from devouring each other. sunset says that sometimes flash looks at timber like he will leave bite marks on the guy if he doesn't stop whatever he's doing (existing). both are good i'd say

timber has always filmed little candids of flash when they start being friends, mainly on his phone but whenever they're out by themselves, he brings his fancy camera out. flash doesn't know this, mainly because timber doesn't show him out of embarrassment, but you can really tell the person who filmed the videos loves their muse

flash sends over lyric docs whenever he feels like it and usually these are without any context, literally no "hello" or "how are you", just [text].doc and timber's like ???. but then timber reads them and is like sad™. timber's never admitted to this, and it'll take him a while to do so, but there have been certain lines in flash's lyrics that had him crying. how many chances do you get in life where your muse considers you their muse too?

flash sometimes buys timber books that he's read just so timber can also read them and then freak out the same way he did. most of the time timber's reaction is "why would you make me read this i am now clinically insane" which was exactly flash's goal

i would try to debate who would be the pathetic lover between flashspruce but there is no answer to that bc they are both equally pathetic in their own ways sorry loverboys

flash actively joins timber when he goes to get more wood just so he can see timber in a tanktop and an axe but flash will deny this every step of the way

timber can't say anything though bc man does this as well during the summer months when the flash drive are performing at bars; flash is Not about to wear leather in this weather and timber's gonna enjoy every moment of it

and yeah flash teaches timber the guitar bc what is he if not a lover of music and queer rockstars (he thinks timber could make a really cool queer rockstar if not for the fact he would steal a million of girls' hearts in one second and a smile)

these two make me want to chew a wall. dead serious

(i see your ask about flash, i will get to that soon i promise 🫡)

[sunnimonbun]

Hello!! when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers/mutuals X) (Hello my precious Sunray! Copy and pasted this from Cat but I wanna leave a lil note here to tell ya I love ya <3 I am prepared from any K-pop rambling that may occur upon you receiving this >:) or any other music rambling for that matter!)

Hall Little fire lily :3 I have already done this with cat but! I have a lot of songs to show and with permission to rant…

Guerilla by Ateez - No idea how I failed to mention this song! It’s so powerful, one of my all time fav Ateez songs! Even better is that it’s a lore song (Bc why doesn’t the k pop groups have lore) The word Guerilla actually stands for a group of people that get together to go against something (usually authorities) which is what the ateez lore is about! But that ramble is for another day.

It is lacking in the dance aspect I would say- the dance for Guerilla is pretty damn goofy, however the fan chant for this song! If you have time search up “Guerilla Fanchant Ateez”. The atinys do not play with that one!

DO or DIE by Xikers - Ever wanna feel like a rebellious teen running on the rooftops in the city? This is the song. This IS THE SONG! Xikers is a rookie group (aka they are baby k pop idols, seriously they are all like 18-19 I think?) they are part of the same company as Ateez and have similar vibes yet not at all. And are amazing! Xikers really don’t seem like rookies in my very new k pop eyes, their music is so powerful and just makes you want to move. I really hope they can get big as a group because they deserve it :)

Astronaut by Stray Kids - I find it incredibly funny that my fav straykids song is ultimately one of the chiller ones. Stray Kids are a real noisy group in their music. I really can’t pin point what in has me so hooked, maybe it’s just the beat? I don’t know it’s catchy but not in a typical pop song way

Blue Hour by TXT - The collective suicide song! /j that’s a joke from the music video of this song. This is a typical catchy pop song but that’s just TXT’s style really. I’m fully in love with Taehyun’s part in the beginning. Also easier to sing a long to as TXT for some reason have a lot of English lyrics. And if ur wondering what time Blue hour is, 5:53pm.

Killin’ it by P1Harmony - It’s P1Harmony baby. One of the funner groups I’ve seen! Just recently learned all their names and stuff and I really need to listen to more of their songs. Killin’ it is a bop, it makes me feel cool and they say slay in it. Pwon also has Keeho… which isn’t easy to explain it’s just Keeho, he slays. Pwon also has Soul who is an incredible dancer, would recommend to check that out!

!!EXTRA APPRECIATION!!

Youth by Ateez - I mentioned youth in my other thing I did with cat but youth is a beautiful song with an even cuter meaning/story behind it. The song is a unit song between two of the members (aka it’s not the whole group who made it). The two that worked on it (Mingi and Yunho) have known each other since before the joined the group. When they preform the song on stage they have a little intro bit that as adorable.

It’s The two of them calling the day before going to audition in front of a company to see if they get to be in that company. They’re just reassuring each other that they’ll do great not knowing that they’re both auditioning for the same company, which actually happened I’m pretty sure. It’s sucha sweet moment and really shows their fricking friendship.

Its also speculated that the song is also about how Yunho helped Mingi with his anxiety. Mingi as an idol went on hiatus for a long while because of anxiety and Yunho would call him everyday and stuff. So the song is really just about them and it’s so sweet. Also it has relatable lyrics, as an anxious teen I get hit hard whenever I read those damn lyrics.

Thank you for listening to my rant :)

[taegularities]

im a little late to the 3d discourse but id like to share my opinion on it

i personally liked it, the beat and the lyrics were great, the song is catchy and it gives justin timberlake vibes which i love. i love how jk is exploring himself as an artist and is comfortable showing different sides of him. i read the message of another anon saying that he'd been infantilized and sexualized for the majority of his career, and he's finally taking back the power and creating his own image rather than conforming to whatever box fans or the public want to trap him in. i think that's very empowering and i'm very proud of him for this.

what i had a problem with was jack harlows's verse. not only his part disrupted the flow of the song, the lyrics were also terrible and misogynistic. it's 2023, you can write a verse without degrading women, calling them thots, bashing on monogamy and lining up girls in the music video as if they were dolls to play with. if your artistry depends on all this, then you're not a great artist you're just a fucking misogynist (yes i'm insulting him as an artist, i don't care for his fans, yall can do better). it still surprises me how hybe let this pass this easily, the lyrics of jack's part could've been regulated a bit more. misogynistic lines aside, his rap and flow wasn't that great, he seemed bored and not trying hard enough for the song, and he didn't fit the vibe of the song. I agree that the song needed a rap verse to make it complete, but it could've been any other artist or the lyrics could've been less disgusting. some ppl might say i'm being sensitive or can't handle explicit stuff- there's a difference between singing explicitly and downright degrading women in a song. you can sing about sex and all that without objectifying women (take a look at seven, it was much more explicit and direct and it was very fun and respectful). even jk's parts in 3d were fun and respectful, so jack's part doesn't fit that vibe at all. even the music video was great, everyone's dancing and having fun, until jack's part came and they started lining up girls like toys.

yes everyone has the right to their own opinion, but we should use some critical thinking and basic empathy when it comes to matters like misogyny (which is a huge problem hello, we live in a patriarchy that's been stepping on women's necks since forever). whoever liked jack's part or that type of music in general, great i hope you enjoy the song, however i hope yall also reflect on it, bc subconsciously this type of media affects ppls thoughts and beliefs, and it feeds misogyny and even internalized misogyny. its 2023, we can do better than this, there's plenty of other artists and songs about sex and intimacy and fun times that don't contain misogynistic ideas (you can start with any women artists and go from there). now that i got this out of my chest, i'm gonna pretend the original version doesn't exist and continue listening to the alternate version without jack's part.

p.s. this comment wasn't directed to you or any specific person, just talking in general <3

nothing to add bc you honestly said it all, and i couldn't agree more 👍🏻

[yayforocs]

OLD ART PART 3!!! WHEEEEE!!!

still in february 2015 :VVV

i made a gif!!! of myself!!! look at that why did i never post this anywhere!!!! hello!!!!

i'm like 99% sure that i drew this bc of the production of aida that my brother was in, but it was like way back in 2009 or something so maybe we dug up the dvd and watched it?????? dunno but i'm pretty certain that's supposed to be amneris

and i did post the tiny here but i never posted the full pic!! which. i can see why sdfkljs but also i do like the interaction itself so i'm posting it now anyway

...a coresilence douglas that i never posted???? huh.

march 2015 V:

this used to be my mobile banner for ages just bc i wanted something to slap on there dklsgs

wasn't sure i'd ever get ahold of the original pic again but yO!! here we are!!

this one is just titled 'why bother' :( unfortunately i went through A Lot mentally around this time period, and there are quite a few doodles i think i made around this time and the next couple years that i never posted anywhere bc they were Too Edgy or Venty or just plain depressing to me. i honestly don't quite remember why i drew this, i think it had something to do with feeling like i was losing friends? maybe? i'm not quite certain honestly.

april 2015 :0

core and i did a little doodle rp character funsies exchange between robin and douglas and this was a response i drew but ended up never using :V

may 2015!

a couple different banners apparently! probably for my rp blog. i don't remember using either of these, but i'm assuming i probably did, atl for a little bit

ahaha oh wow i genuinely have no memory of this huh. absolutely no idea on why there's a jarring disconnect between the first eight and the last two but shrugs!

-oh this has made me realize i now have Much More to post on robin's toyhouse huh

i've also got a lot from july 2015, but uhhhh i say it's a lot bc it's for a lyric video i wanted to make to jason walker's echo :VV there's quite a lot done and HONESTLy i thought i'd lost all of it bUT the firealpaca file!!!! i've got the firealpaca file!!!!!!! aaaa!!!!!!!! so it's all here!!!!!!!!!

there's also this kdlsfjds

and then we skip all the way to march 2016, which is the last folder i have :(

literally my first attempt at a nuzlocke and i'm dying i can't believe i never posted this dlkjfskjl God what a run

hey does this technically mean i've made a complete nuzlocke comic? --shot

anyway that's not actually from 2016! that's just when i scanned it, i made that wayyy back in 2011, possibly even 2010 :V but there's no way i'm not including it in these posts sdklghs

ok so i did actually post this a while back, but then when i started working on locke'd in i went through and deleted all my nuzlocke art posts even slightly relating to it bc of 'spoilers' or w/e, these are some of my mons from a different run that... i dunno, i guess i just restarted or something? not actually sure why i didn't finish this one. i think i was going to cameo these girls in the comic or smth so i poofed the original post

atl i think, i could be thinking of any of the other like. five different teams i was planning on cameo'ing.

GOD THERE'S MORE BUT IT'S FNAF AU AND IT'S BIG BIG SPOILERS DO I. DO I POST.

I AM WARRING WITH MYSELF SO BAD OVER THIS.

I DON'T THINK I CAN LET MYSELF POST IT AUGH

but GOD i kinda want to :waugh: one day..... one day i will post EverythingTM

buT YEAH THAT'S ALL OF IT!!!! THERE'S SO MUCH RECOVERED ART I'M!!!!!!! :WIGGLE:

dude i didn't even start looking on this flash drive for art i was looking for old writing sdklfjdskjl

[ahappydnp]

I’m meeting Dan tomorrow and I’m so stressed. What do I do? What do I say? I’m so unprepared

ahhh yay you're gonna have SO MUCH FUN!!! i pinky double promise there is zero need to be stressed because he is the loveliest dude in the world and is a total pro at m&gs but here are some helpful tips under the cut:

BEFORE YOU MEET HIM

if you're nervous try getting there earlier than you need to be so you can be closer to the front of the queue and will have less time to get anxious

bring something for him to sign! like one of the books/art/a print out for him to sign. if you don't have anything on you, you'll probably get your VIP bag before you meet him and there is a photo in there he can sign! (i got him to write my fav lyrics on a blank stock paper and now it's on my wall and i love it so so much so maybe something that's personal to you?) **side note i wrote down the lyrics on a sticky note ahead of time so he could just copy them down**

if you're going with someone, see if they'll be your buddy so that they can film your interaction while you use your phone to take the selfie (if you're going alone just ask someone in line to buddy up and i PROMISE you'll find someone like that queue is full of the nicest people who are also phannies...so in no way intimidating and also if they're alone you can swap and film them! plus bonus time to just look at dan)

screen record your phone so you can capture video of dan taking your selfies too

stalk meetdnp on twitter to ease the anxiety and also get some pose inspo

MEETING DAN PLAY BY PLAY

rosie (his assistant) will tell you when to go around the corner

dan will already have his arms open for a hug and he'll say hey

he might comment on your outfit/hair/anything as a conversation starter

if you have any gifts/letters to give him he'll ask if it's for him and take it/say thank you and give to security (if you have anything to say it's not too late to write a letter!!!)

if you have nothing to say he'll take over completely and ask if you want him to sign anything and then ask if you want a selfie. he's really really good about making sure you get your time but understands if you freeze up

if you have anything you want to say to him go ahead and do it! this is your time! he's heard it all so don't feel like you can't be sincere or emotional or funny! he genuinely loves meeting us!! you can tell him how long you've been subscribed or your favorite video! tell him how much something has meant to you or how much joy he's brought to your life! or just tell him he needs to check out [insert penis themed tourist site here]

if you don't have a pose in mind he'll take your phone (and i do mean man is gonna snatch your phone from your hand and if it's unlocked he WILL be a little shit so fair warning) and hold it up at a myspace angle and do a peace sign

if you have a pose in mind tell him and he'll do literally whatever! meetdnp has some amazing ideas but ultimately it's up to you! if you have someone filming you he will also pose for a full body shot too (he usually notices them and will ask if you want a full body photo) i do recommend holding hands bc it's just a lovely experience 🥺

if you initiate he'll go in for another hug and then say thanks for coming!

you leave the m&g area and then are free to process meeting the boy <3

you send me another message to tell me how it went!!!!!! good luck!!!! you are going to have THE BEST TIME!!!! (also if you're alone/want phannie friends DM me bc i have several friends who are going to tomorrow's show!!!)

[foliejpg]

alright heres a shit ton

6, 7, 11, 20, 21, 24, 27, and 28

oh boy here we go i had to switch from mobile to desktop for this. thank you for sending so many i love answering these <3

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

oh for sure! i reread a lot of my friends fics so anything by @cryptophasiac @lakemichiganlolita @petefromarma @buildarocketboys assume i have read it multiple times. and also go read their fics asap<3 as far as individual fics, i'm sure there are specific ones that i cannot think of right now lmao chances are if its in my bookmarks, i've read it a few times

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

flushed out ideas, not many lol my brain writes dialogue first, i'll hear someone say something and then write in my notes app so i can use it at a later time, but not actual ideas really

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

i don't actually haha i'm usually watching tv or a youtube video while i write honestly. when i listen to music i get distracted by it lmfao

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

i really liked that all of the titles of my girlpete fics were from the same album "if i can't have love, i want power" by halsey (which is absolutely one of my All Time Absolute Favorite albums and can't recommend enough) but only 4/6 have titles w lyrics from that album. the other two are lyrics from "fall with me" by the wild reeds and "snake charmer" by blink 182 lmao

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

i've had full complete fics that have gotten chopped up and repurposed. what usually happens is there's something about the finished fic or scene that doesn't Scratch that Itch i want it too, so it'll get put on the back burner until i can take my favorite bits and pieces and use them somewhere else. as far as outright like, backspace delete a scene, no i don't think i ever have. i save every single draft of a fic just in case. sometimes i look through old drafts and end up finding something i like lol

24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s).

i don't make moodboards i do have a girl out boy pinterest though which is mostly just like.. clothes lol

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

every single one lol before i post any fic, there's always a moment of anxiety like its going to go over super poorly or whatever. i've been super lucky that people tell me how much they enjoy my fics and it really does mean to world to hear bc i'm my own biggest critic lol but specifically? "i'd do anything to make you feel" because it was kind of the darkest fic i've posted? and "if everything could ever feel this way forever" bc it does have the non-con tag and i had never posted anything so dub/non-con lol

28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”?

not that specific tag no but i did tag "i'd do anything to make you feel" as dead dove adjacent lol there was nothing inherently dead dove but the themes i understand could make ppl uncomfy so i added it for a heads up

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

a playlist for ty lee!!!! <3 <3

similar to mai's, the sound and genre was very important. while idk how many of the artists here would be classified as hyperpop, i was very much inspired by the idea of girly exaggerated pop music with a dark undercurrent. there weren't any songs that fit lyrically, but the vibes of scene queen's bimbocore eps are so ty lee.

1. bubblegum bitch - marina

got a figure like a doll / don't care if you think i'm dumb / i don't care at all

like i said - seemingly shallow girly pop with a dark/satirical side.

2. pink diamond - charli xcx

i'm a pink diamond, i need space

mostly just here for the aggressive & pink vibes, but it's about how charli felt trapped during the pandemic, wanted to go out and party but couldn't. ty lee, of course, also felt trapped, which is why she ran away to the -

3. circus - britney spears

all eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus

after growing up lost in the shuffle with all her sisters, ty lee wants to be a perforner who's the center of attention

4. starstrukk - 3OH!3 ft. katy perry

'cause i just set them up / set them up / to knock them down

ty lee manipulating all the boys in "the beach". there's a pretty sad edge to this song - this girl manipulates bc she doesn't know how to love. ty lee is also pretty disconnected from her feelings, especially when she's flirting with men but also just in general. she's willing to do azula's cold and cruel bidding, and do it with a smile.

(for the record, i started thinking about this song that way bc of marina's cover. not to be like 'acoustic covers are automatically deeper' but i probably wouldn't have given this song any thought without her version.)

5. one woman army - porcelain black

i'm on the battlefield like, oh my god / knocking soldiers down like house of cards / i'm a one-woman army

a pretty standard girl-power track that just happens to refer to knocking soldiers down and therefore fits ty lee. there is a dark side to this song, though - it's about being powerful and successful but it's one of only 3 songs by the artist, and she hasn't released anything since 2014.

6. flux - poppy

i'm just a possession / for your amusement, for your confusion

her relationship with azula. i think azula genuinely had feelings for her, but azula also does treat mai and ty lee as possessions, as tools and means to an end. and ty lee makes herself non-threatening and praises azula all the time, molding herself into the compliant subject she knows azula wants her to be.

7. girl of the year - allie x

tell me i'm the only one / i like your lies

ty lee is attention-seeking because of her upbringing lost in the shuffle - mai was right about that even though it was mean - but she is also savvy enough to realize that most of the time when she has people's attention it's because they're treating her as an object. the boys, the audience at the circus, azula.

8. mirrorball - taylor swift

i'm still on that trapeze / i'm still trying everything / to keep you looking at me

similar to previous. ty lee is a performer, who has backed herself into this box where she feels if she's not entertaining, molding herself to what people want, she'll be discarded.

9. cheerleader - st. vincent

i've played dumb when i knew better

video

about her decision to betray azula at the boiling rock, deciding she won't be azula's "cheerleader" anymore, will stop playing dumb. shoutout to comradekatara's albumgaang yet again.

10. fetch the bolt cutters - fiona apple

other people have already explained it better than i could.

[diizi-dot-png]

Music Through Your Eras Tag Game!

thanks for the tag @ifritfan !!!

1️⃣first song/artist you remember liking: Maroon 5, Melanie Martinez and Marina.... 

👶middle school anthem (age 11-13): mostly DAMA songs (portuguese band) but esp Luísa and Às vezes, they werent new songs at the time but we were crazy over them for no reason lmao, and ALSO I loved ariana grande so some of her songs as well

🚗roadtrip must have song: i dont know. I have no idea dude. im gonna say A minha casinha and Homem do Leme by Xutos e Pontapés bc I have distinct memories of listening to those in the car

🙈Guilty pleasure artist: Chico da tina. if any of you guys knew who he was id be bullied relentlessly but idgaf. his music may not be good but fuck do I love it

💯I know all the lyrics to: year zero, ritual, con clavi con dio, prime mover, all by ghost, probably some more but these are the ones that come to mind lol, the Damned by cos sylvan, not allowed, cigarettes out the window, song about me and The blonde by TV Girl, The Fall, Perfume and Sex sells by lovejoy + p much every Wilbur Soot song (LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY), almost every public void song (penelope scott album. again leave me alone), a bunch of Mariana and ashnikko songs, almost every single melanie martinez song, first love/late spring by mitski, literal legend by ayesha erotica, I can keep going

🤬A song to yell to: i dont know??? mr. self destruct by NIN?? I cant think of more I dont yell to music bc i cant scream at home 👍

❤️‍🔥 Current favourite music video: Ive always loved the square hammer mv, and also call me what you like by lovejoy is cool. OH AND THEIR COVER OF KNEE DEEP AT ATP I love that mv

🥰current favourite band: dude cmon now. thats so hard. its between ghost and radiohead but Ive also been getting into goth music esp sister of mercy lately and theyre great

🏟️Would kill to see them live/again: ghost obvs, Chico da Tina, brother his concerts are such a fucking vibe!!! rammstein, theyre coming here this summer and I want to go sooo bad

🏝️if you could listen to one song on repeat for the rest of your life: the Damned, woodcutters or night sculptor by cos sylvan I love all of those songs very very much

🔁stuck on repeat: climbing up the walls and my Iron lung by radiohead, absolution by ghost, and a bunch more that Ive already mentioned here

Tagging: @sphylor @owlghuleh @s01ar-3cl1ps3 @purple-moonglade @finch-does-stuff @everybodyshusband

[mallbangs]

in 2017, i tried to start this project where anyone could call a number and leave a voicemail of literally anything; sounds, memories, whatever they wanted that was tied to a music project called enoshima that had gone dormant until “recently”. i put “recently” in quotes bc i guess we will just have to wait and see (if ur like me with trying to find new music, if u do enough digging on the internet i’m sure you’ll find some stuff) the goal was to use a landline phone with cassette answering machine so i could keep hard copies for a future use of an idea. after buying three used landline phones and phone calls not triggering the answering machines but luckily would still get email copies of the few voicemail audio files i did…in short, the idea failed miserably due to lack of reach, personal reasons, and money because its not free to have a phone number lol and the enoshima project just went dormant with its own reasons as well…

in 2019, i started to brainstorm a more intentional concept that would connect the caller/listener with the music i had started to write (the current project, mallbangs, that i feel lucky enough and honored to work with the people i do now and have had worked with previously, when it always feels so embarrassing for me to release any of it) and the kind of experience i am trying to thread together now, community and a space in the art, music from inside and outside the digital space. i guess attempting to ground the way that i and i think a lot of ppl consume art these days; strictly through their phones.. it’s why i use my music in the voicemail videos and posts with the hope that ppl make the connection that it’s tied together..well.. it sorta started to gain very little traction but better than it had ever previously.

i think the fact that it began to reach ppl was in part due to 2020 and everything that started unfolding that year; pandemic, quarantine, school years and graduations/normal experiences just evaporated, here in the united states the murders of george floyd and rayshard brooks and the summer uprising of 2020.. i could obviously go on… come january 4th 2022, after a year or so of randomly posting about it because i started to think it wasn’t something ppl were really interested in, it went viral. i spent literally 24 hrs, multiple days, no sleep, emptying the voicemail box every 10 - 20 minutes because that many ppl were calling. i got so anxious, and this feeling of guilt because i wanted everyone who was calling to have the ability to leave one. i didn’t want to let anyone down those first weeks. it’s not as intense as it was then but im still emptying the voicemail box multiple times a day. i’m ngl i freaked out. it was completely overwhelming.

through out last year the project, my personal, and music accounts nearly got banned about 20 times or so because i was unaware that i was doing something that wasn’t allowed on a certain platform. somehow, all of the accounts survived, and it’s up to over 80k voicemails. i even started accepting DMs to post just in case speaking was too much for someone and that’s at a few thousand now. started a p.o. box as well and that’s been very little. allowing the project to evolve into web of different formats naturally as it feels that it wants to. i’m not sure if someone’s written words are any easier to absorb than hearing some ppls pain audibly. both written and audio recorded msgs have made me breakdown more than i can count on what seems inevitable but still for unknown reasons to myself, unexpected.

the new song gutter was inherently inspired and written about all of those emotions i had and have been feeling from the voicemails and what not as well as my own personal shit whether i was consciously aware of it at the time or not. some of the time im oblivious when writing. more often than not it just happens melodies and lyrics fall out like word vomit. stream of consciousness or serendipitous i guess. it became evident it was inspired by all of the aforementioned when i started trying to piece together random lyrics it already had ruminating and while demoing it out. the song had started to, in a way, show me what i was trying to convey. which is why you hear the guttural stutter in the beginning and end. its the dying sound of the radio in my car i no longer have for transportation and hundreds of voicemails collaged together in the demo. When i went to actually record the song, i insisted on keeping that collaged stutter of voicemail’s and noise bc it would have lost what i felt made it even more personal for me. idk if this is fucking pretentious or stupid to say, but that incessant stutter is like symbolic for getting drowned out when u need to be heard.. isolation.. denial.. i guess, if the lyrics are even that revealing. i always try to make lyrics not so surface level but yea i think this one is maybe more surface level than others and yea i just think the stutter sounds cool too.

if you’ve been following the music or the voicemail project for a while, this song could either have been a subliminal experience (of) or maybe surface level at best what its place is in either the VM project or in the music; descending from the official version, a demo version lazily titled “sorry demo”, and the early version which was an acoustic demo. the latter of said three versions had long been the de facto voicemail project song for a while, I guess. 

if its familiar to you because you know me its probably because, as you know, I tend to neurotically play so many song ideas on the guitar into the ground that it’s to the point I don’t realize Im playing them when im around y’all lol 

to everyone else, if this song had been familiar at all to you prior to it being released it is because the acoustic demo version was used around that period of time in 2022 when i was repeatedly getting threatened with being banned.. potentially losing the VM project’s account, the art, and the memories of genuine interactions with strangers that I often tend to think isn’t really real sometimes. Like having felt some of you accepted me for me or what I am emotionally/comfortably able to present to you online..and in that sentiment irl I maybe take for granted interactions with new potential friends or even strangers sometimes as well tbh. 

I realize all of that previous paragraph could be redundant, im sorry :/ But, I have such strong passion for the music and the voicemail thing. So much so that i’ve never monetized any of the voicemail stuff. i’ve never made any “merch/products” to sell or have tried to turn it into a business because these things i create or write mean more to me than the idea of “curating for profit”. never intended for any of the voicemail stuff to be a ��marketing strategy” thing. the music hasn’t been recognized as part of this thing, probably due to my lack of making the concept of all of this clear, and probably because of my pride in not wanting any of this to be perceived as such. which i know in this capitalistic hellscape it will be ripped off and done in such a way that someone may be successful from it, its already happening as many have pointed out to me.

out of all this silly voicemail thing and my musical attempt, the most important thing i’ve learned is that everyone just needs someone to speak to even if they don’t talk back. someone just to listen. to be able to get lost in music that takes them somewhere they can feel comfortable like i try to do everyday when listening to music. the voicemails, the DMs, writing music.. it gets very mentally and emotionally overwhelming for me.. listening to them everyday, reading the DMs everyday, struggling to gather the energy in me that never seems to wither to just write.. and if someone offered me a path that is without any of that? i wouldn’t take it. even if it meant making some of these lingering feelings just go away for good.

a few people have told me to end the project because they’re afraid of what it could be doing to me. their concern is valid. i won’t deny that. but i feel as if this thing is larger than myself at this point. and i think the take away for me from all of this is that, im just glad this silly little idea may be helping someone when i myself most times feel like i have nowhere to go or no one to run to. and if i die tomorrow ill be at some what of peace knowing that if i have done anything worth meaning in this short experience of life that we all get to share with one another, its the music and this voicemail project and the community, the safe space ..all of whatever the music and this project has given someone…everything i feel that i never had. i feel eternally honored and grateful that if at all, it has helped someone when i couldnt even help myself.

there’s nothing i could give that’s of equal value to the gratitude i have for anyone that has ever left a msg of some sort and has or continues to support this project and the music. so all i can say is thank you.

with all the love i have,

aidy <3