#do forgive me i am learning how to make the memes
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Meme of the Week:
Chapter Six, Thanatophobia
#here is my meme of the week#a little late but there you have it#dedicated to chapter 6 of Love the Bright Sword#rewind series#meme time#shoutout to my beloved ao3 commenter who made me laugh as they berated Arthur and graciously allowed me to use them this week#do forgive me i am learning how to make the memes#but i could not get the idea of the second one out of my head#took too long to do it#but I think I'm glad I did#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#ao3#kiki writes#just yelling into the void#damn NOBODY was going to tell me that I misspelled thanatophobia in the chapter#TWICE#absolutely devastating#fixing it rn don't worry
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what did pj do /genq
he posted a video with pewdiepie a few days ago. Needless to say it gave me whiplash to see that in my youtube recommendations.. but it's more shocking to me to see that everyone was enjoying the video in the comments. or that here on tumblr, people have continued to post about pj completely ignoring the fact that he's out here collabing with Mr Notoriously Racist Youtuber
#why is no one talking about this#hello am i insane? listen if everyone were talking about this i wouldnt be but literally#it's genuinely shocking that nobody gives a fuck#yes that part of youtube is incredibly white but by god. i guess people cross over to tolerating the racism like its nothing#i mean there have been things in all these youtuber's channels that have aged poorly or rather were never really okay#yes even with the phantastic foursome yes even them#but honestly i wasnt going to make a post outlining all the shit bc whats the point? maybe people learn and grow#and none of it was pewdiepie levels#but to make a video with that man in 2024?? its not just a bad joke from 2011 you know what i mean?#it just seems so easy to me to just Not make a video with mr notoriously racist#and it also seems so easy to me to just not gloss over the implications of that as fans#bc it will interrupt your 'stan' posting or whatever#im just genuinely shocked that nobody sees something very off with this?#no one's bothered? do we not remember how bad pewdiepie was??#average youtube fans will tear a man to shreds for plagiarism but they can forgive racism (insert that one meme here)#anyway yea. those are just my thoughts#i guess theres a reason i stay out of youtube fandoms bc yikes#anon#asks#kickthepj
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๋࣭ ⭑𓆩✧𓆪🗡ྀ࿔ 〖 and other stories . . . 〗 a collection of dialogue + action prompts inspired by angela carter's the bloody chamber and other stories. some prompts usfw. add +reversed for the muse receiving the meme to perform the action instead. adjust details as necessary.
dialogue :
are you sure you want to marry him?
oh! how you must want me!
soon.
i had never been vain until i met you.
anticipation is the greater part of pleasure.
all the better to see you.
what is that key? the key to your heart?
every man must have one secret, even if only one, from his wife.
all is yours, everywhere is open to you.
but now... what shall i do now?
my darling, i cannot wait for the moment when you make me yours completely.
there is a striking resemblance between the act of love and the ministrations of a torturer.
you are in some great distress.
any bride brought to a castle should come ready dressed in mourning.
oh god. i can smell the blood.
i thought all these were old wives' tales, chattering of fools, spooks to scare bad children into good behavior!
can't it wait until morning, my darling?
who can say what i deserve or no?
i've done nothing; but that may be sufficient reason for condemning me.
i have a place prepared for your exquisite corpse upon my display of flesh.
good fellow? i am no good fellow.
forgive me for robbing your garden!
all she wanted, in the whole world, was one white, perfect rose.
and what else was there to be done?
they are the death of any tender herbivore.
so late! you will want sleep.
you will come back to me? it will be lonely here, without you.
i will come back. soon, before the winter is over.
i am sick and i must die.
if you'll have me, i'll never leave you.
i think i might be able to manage a little breakfast today.
i have lost my pearl, my pearl beyond price.
if you are so careless of your treasure, you should expect them to be taken from you.
for all my pride, my heart is heavy.
if you wish to give me money, then i should be pleased to receive it.
i shall twist a noose out of my bed linen and hang myself with it.
you are a woman of honor.
nothing human lives here.
we have dispensed with servants.
take off my clothes for you, like a ballet girl? is that all you want of me?
all cats are cynics.
you read my thoughts, my love.
the woods enclose. the wood swallows you up.
all will fall still, all lapse.
it is easy to lose yourself in these woods.
i thought that nobody was in the wood but me.
there are some eyes can eat you.
sometimes the birds, at random, all singing, strike a chord.
eat me, drink me.
dive in and fetch it for me.
now you are at the place of annihilation.
and she is herself a cave full of echoes, she is a system of repetitions, she is a closed circuit.
can a bird sing only the song it knows or can it learn a new song?
beauty is a symptom of disorder, of soullessness.
a single kiss woke up the sleeping beauty in the wood.
be he alive or be he dead.
coffee. you must have coffee.
welcome. welcome to my chateau.
i rarely receive visitors and that's a misfortune since nothing animates me half as much as the presence of a stranger.
this place is so lonely.
now the village is deserted.
often i am so silent that i think i, too, will soon forget how to do so and nobody will ever talk any more.
i must apologize for the lack of light.
you have such a fine throat, like a column of marble.
i am condemned to solitude and dark.
i do not mean to hurt you.
i will be very gentle.
and could love free me from the shadows?
i've been waiting for you in my wedding dress, why have you delayed for so long.
you will feel no pain, my darling.
so delicate and damned, poor thing. quite damned.
the end of exile is the end of being.
it is a northern country; they have cold weather, they have cold hearts.
the devil is as real as you or i.
do not leave the path.
you are always in danger in the forest.
they are as unkind as plague.
fear and flee the wolf; for, worst of all, the wolf may be more than he seems.
besides, aren't you afraid of the wolves?
actions :
clasp. from behind, the sender places their hands over the receiver's eyes.
opera. through opera glasses, the sender watches the receiver.
choker. the sender fastens a gemstone necklace around the receiver's neck.
carriage. the sender locks the receiver in with them in their train compartment.
spine. the sender presses a kiss to the back of the receiver's bare neck.
cigar. the sender leans in and blows smoke in the receiver's face.
ermine. the sender wraps the furs around the receiver tighter as the snow falls.
keys. the sender silently enters the room and listens to the receiver play piano.
harem. the sender undresses the receiver before a collection of mirrors.
lazy. the sender brings the receiver breakfast in bed.
call. the sender calls the receiver and bursts into tears upon hearing their voice.
note. the sender discovers a love letter sent to the receiver from a previous lover.
death. the sender finds the receiver with the body of their latest victim.
hospitality. the sender watches from the shadows as the receiver take refuge from a storm in the sender's seemingly abandoned home.
servant. invisible, the sender feeds/washes/cares for the receiver.
hearth. the sender and the receiver talk past midnight by the fire's light.
hands. the sender falls to their knees before the receiver and kisses their hands.
bouquet. the sender has a hundred white roses sent to the receiver.
reunion. the sender lays eyes upon the receiver for the first time in an age.
bad luck. the sender hangs their head having lost a bet to the receiver.
voice. the sender sends their valet to speak their desires to the receiver.
powder. the sender dresses/makes up the receiver before an important night.
stallion. the sender grabs the reins of the receiver's horse and leads them away.
weep. the sender cries at the sight of the receiver in such a state.
dry. the sender brushes a tear from the receiver's cheek.
flush. the sender pinches the receiver's skin, watching it redden with blood.
prey. the sender guides the receiver's hands as together they skin a rabbit.
song. the sender sings and the receiver is spellbound, their feet following their song's command.
caught. the sender locks the receiver into a cage.
green. by the sender's command, the growth begins to take over the receiver.
tarot. the sender tells the receiver they are doomed to a sad fate.
stain. the sender touches the bloodstain on the receiver's white negligée.
wild. the sender rides hard through the night, chasing the receiver.
thirst. the sender sinks their teeth into the neck of the receiver.
china. the sender pours tea for the receiver and offers them biscuits.
blemish. the sender explores the receiver's skin and finds the mark of a witch.
wolf. the wolf reveals themself to be the sender before the receiver.
muzzle. the sender kisses the monstrous mouth of the receiver.
#rp memes#action rp memes#fantasy rp memes#rp sentence starters#sentence starters#rp prompts#rp starters#action prompts
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SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART SIX
leave us in peace and we shall leave you in kind.
cut the crap.
we just want to go home.
enough of this charade.
i'll not play pretend anymore.
you'll soon learn what it means to ally yourself with the likes of this garbage.
i'm free now, and i'm never going back.
fuck them.
felt good letting off a little steam.
if i burn any hotter, i might explode.
don't get too close until i've found a way to calm down.
it's a bit early to be getting into tragic backstories.
let's save the scar-show for later after we've worked up an appetite for tragedy.
in the grand scheme of things, i'm inconsequential [to her].
she favored me like a child favors a captive pet.
it had the makings of a good stage show, but i did not want to be one of the players.
torture, bloodsport? or perhaps just a good old-fashioned walloping?
you owe me nothing.
i could extort you, if that's what you want.
you're teasing me now.
ignorance is alive and well it seems.
don't make me get the wooden spoon.
you'd best have one hells of an apology for me.
if you think your precious little god holds any power here, you're in for a surprise.
do you treat all your guests so poorly?
i don't like busybodies.
you are as thick as they come.
are you telling me you made love to a goddess?
i shared a bed with a goddess and yet i wasn't satisfied.
shall i share the story behind it or would you rather head straight to its sordid finale?
how are you still alive?
we've come this far together and we'll continue on together.
even i am tired of the sound of my own voice.
i'll rip your spine out of your asshole.
i'll use your blood to spice my stew.
i'll keep you alive until i've sucked the marrow from your bones.
killing me is a waste of time.
you bastard, you ruined everything.
this is an interesting way of thanking me.
a slap is all you deserve.
a hag was never going to help you.
they don't help anyone but themselves.
that double-crossing, filthy, lying hag.
focus on the positive.
forgive the aroma.
perhaps that is why i have survived so long where more fearsome peers have not.
your loyalty is admirable but misplaced.
his kind have charm beyond our mortal means to resist.
who'd keep a secret like that from his friends?
you can't trust anyone these days.
even in the middle of nowhere, he can reach me.
why do you insist on exhuming the past?
people think the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake.
they're scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts.
i am what i must be, says what i must be.
how does it feel to be a devil?
i can't tell if you're being silly or serious.
you have to admire the man's ambition.
i promise i will not betray your trust.
you kept me by your side despite the menace i am.
i learned quick how to stay alive.
to feel invincible again.
this isn't where i thought i'd end up.
maybe when this is all done, you can show me where you came from.
i'm not normally one to begrudge someone their secrets, but..
i'm already blessed to have you at my side.
don't you cut a fine figure.
i am not some lower city coinlad offering you a tumble.
there is nothing so depressing as learning one's true value.
i could use someone with your skills.
they're ravenous predators with fangs like daggers.
it's hardly an irrational fear to harbor.
you've been decent to me, so far.
everyone's got their own fears.
maybe that's what i like about you.
all of this was for nothing.
if you're here to help, get to the fight quickly.
gods, i thought you were one of those beasts.
i'm not chasing after it, if that's what you're thinking.
the little beast's charming once you get accustomed to the smell of rotting flesh.
#sentence meme#rp meme#sentence starters#roleplay meme#starter sentences#rp starters#rpc#starter meme#sentence prompts#sentence prompt#rp prompts#roleplay prompts#writing prompt#bg3 meme
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Hello and welcome to Day 27 of "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies"
(Sorry Cale, I will be, once again, taking away your peace and quiet)
How is everyone today? Me? I AM IN SHAMBLES! I just finished the Penacony Story Quest Act 1, and my mind and heart are broken. But I still want to finish the 31 days of plot bunnies so here I am with day 27.
This plot bunny is literally an entire series of books. More precisely, this plot bunny is my rewrite of Harry Potter with Cale Henituse (and other characters from the novel) as part of the actual cast.
I titled the plot bunny: "A small change in the script"
I will explain the idea below, but beware it is going to be kind of a long explanation. So, enjoy my rambling! (And I am gonna post some memes about this Au pretty soon)
PS: This is really long. I go through the first 5 years at Hogwarts in some detail (I still have a ton of things I haven't spoken about because brain power is very low and I just wanted to get the idea across first). Also, I am sure I made some miskates, so please forgive me. So beware before you start reading!
We start with Cale Henituse and the Henituse and Thames families in this world.
Starting with the Henituse side, they are a pure-blood wizard family that live in the far north of Germany. They are a family that excels at Charms, especially the Shield Charm, Protego. They are known to be neutral when it comes to the idea of muggles and muggle-borns learning about magic. Or rather than neutral, they think the following: "If the muggles/muggle-borns bring trouble, we will do something about it. But if they don't endanger anyone, there is no need for us to intervene." As such, the family keeps out (for the most part) of the drama that the Wizarding World seems to deal with.
Since they are located in the far north of Germany, Deruth attended and graduated from the Drumstrang Institute, just as many other members of his family.
On the other hand, we have the Thames family. They are a pure-blooded (originally) nomadic wizard family that is scattered around the world. They have (lesser known) ties with the Pevrell and some who know members from this family would say that the Thames family have made deals with Death just as the Pevrell brothers did, for they seem too... welcoming, for the lack of better word, of death.
The Thames family are more akin to a "jack of all trades, master of none" when it comes to their magic. Jour Thames, herself, was extremely talented at Dark Arts (mostly in knowing how to repel them), but her parents were more oriented towards Herbology as a subject of specialization.
Jour Thames had decided to remain in Britain once she got her letter to Hogwarts, while her remaining family still wandered the world. She ended up as a Slytherin, beginning in the same year as Severus Snape (and the rest of the Marauders + Lily). She was pretty much Snape's friend (alongside Lucius) in Slytherin.
Jour and Deruth met during the summer before Jour's 7th year at Hogwarts when she decided to take an impromptu visit in Germany. The one who fell first was Deruth.
Deruth was always interested in Muggles and their technology. He is dead set on settling in the Muggle world and living there for the rest of his life. Jour liked the idea enough, as long as she is still free to go to the Wizarding World to talk with her friends and help them in certain missions - Deruth, of course, had no problem with that.
They married after graduating from their respective schools, moved into a muggle city in Germany (somewhere around Berlin) and had Cale Henituse just 2 years after, when they were 20 (Jour) and 21 (Deruth). Six years later, Jour died under mysterious circumstances, leaving a grieving 6 years old Cale and her husband Deruth behind.
Just a year later, Deruth remarried to Violan, a muggle, who already had a son, Bansen. Violan becomes pregnant with the Lily Henituse the following year, making Lily two years old when Cale leaves for Hogwarts.
As a side note, we also have Kim Rok Soo, Choi Jung Soo, and Lee Soo Hyuk, who attended Hogwarts and were in their 4th year when Jour and Snape entered their first. Kim Rok Soo was in Hufflepuff (everyone in there called him "the little snake that was raised as a badger" because, technically speaking, he would have done splendidly in Slytherin); Chou Jung Soo was in Griffindor; Lee Soo Hyuk was in Ravenclaw.
Kim Rok Soo grew close to Jour Thames, to the point where Jour is ready to publicly claim Rok Soo as her sworn brother, which in turn should make him Cale's uncle. Kim Rok Soo was one of the people (besides Snape, Lucius, and Narcissa) called by Jour after Cale was born to see him. Btw, the date of Cale's birth still coincides with Kim Rok Soo's own birthday (November 8th), and Rok Soo believes Cale to be akin to a blessing to him, which is why he vows to protect the kid even after Jour is dead.
Kim Rok Soo, Choi Jung Soo and Lee Soo Hyuk will later form the "Supernatural Prevention Team" within the Ministry of Magic, a separate type of organization that is mainly about finding whatever "supernatural creature/phenomenon" that appeared in the Muggle world and eliminate it before magic/the supernatural is revealed to Muggles. (Think Mystery Inc. gang from Scooby-Doo but the monsters are half of the time actual real creatures and not just some dudes in constumes)
Cale's name was written in the Book of Admission since the day he was born, mostly because, upon being born, baby Cale managed to let out an influx of magic along with his first cry which shattered the windows of the hospital they were at - thankfully, Jour decided she will give birth to Cale in a Wizard Hospital rather than a Muggle one.
Growing up, Jour basically taught Cale both magic and how to handle magical creatures (I can just imagine that Jour became friends with Aragog during her stay at Hogwarts and she was like "Give my son a giant spider friend too"). Cale, just like the rest of the Thames Family, is a "jack of all trades, master of none" when it comes to his magic and, just like the members of the Henituse Family, he uses Protego a lot more than other spells.
When he goes to Hogwarts, on the train he meets with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. All of them are 1st years, but Cale finds the other two a bit... too childish - especially when Ron starts insulting the Slytherin House and its members by calling them all "evil" and "deranged". But instead of lashing out, Cale calmly points out that Merlin was a Slytherin too, while also calling out different names of people from the Griffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff who were branded as criminals in the past. When asked by Ron how he knows so much, Cale's response is "Unlike you, I do enjoy reading books", before taking out a book and starting to read, completely ignoring the other two.
When Cale gets sorted, the Sorting Hat pretty much is at a loss. Cale has recklessness of a Griffindor, the intelligence of a Ravenclaw, the loyalty of a Hufflepuff, and the cunningness of a Slytherin. Cale's own mentality of "I don't care in which house I get sorted into" doesn't help the Hat either. So the Hat spends well over 5 minutes trying to dig deep enough into Cale's character so that it can actually put him in a house. In the end, the Hat finds that Cale's ambition - which is to take over Kim Rok Soo's position as the current leader (which he got mainly because Lee Soo Hyuk decided ot will be funny to put Rok Soo as the leader) of the "Supernatural Prevention Team" - is pretty strong and decides to sort him into Slytherin. Snape is pretty pleased with that since he also wants to look after Cale. Dumbledore isn't as pleased since Cale looks like a smart kid, and he thinks he is very vulnerable to Voldemort's influence.
Cale integrates pretty well into the Slytherin House, getting along well with Blaise Zabini and, somewhat well, with Draco Malfoy. (It's mostly as "babysitter" type of relationship at the beginning: Cale makes sure Draco doesn't get in that much trouble by calling him out of some things, while Draco is basically the sulky kid that was told "no" for the first time in his life - Cale is not impressed by Draco's attempt at "puppy dog eyes")
However, Cale also ends up, more often than not, around Harry, Hermione, and Ron and deals with their shenanigans. He is the one who convinced the 3 that it was impossible for Snape to be behind Harry's broom going out of control during the Quiddich match and, while they Ron and Hermione don't truly believe him, Harry thinks Cale is not lying. The reason Harry believes Cale so much? Because Cale has never in the months prior ever told lies - Harry fact checked even the names that Cale said were criminals on the train at the beginning of the year, and it turned out he was correct. Same goes for anything else Cale has said before.
Because of this, they reason that Professor Quirell might have been behind all of this, but without proof, they can't be sure of anything.
When they find out that the Philosopher's Stone is in danger of being stolen, the 3 (who also kinda dragged Cale with them) attempt to get to the stone and protect it while Dumbledore is away in London. Cale takes a liking to Fluffy and employs the methods that his mother taught him to calm down magic creatures of all kind - sharing a bit of his magic with them. By doing this, Cale basically shares his emotional state with the creatures he gave magic to, and manages to calm them down as long as Cale himself is calm.
He insists that the other move quickly after Quirell and tells Harry to be careful because he just knows that Quirell's magic just feels off. Once they are gone and Fluffy is back asleep, Cale goes to Snape and informs him of Quirell's actions. Because of this, Snape ends up there when Quirell dies from a combination of Lily's protective charm and the true Quirell's will fighting against Voldemort's control at the very end. (Basically while his body was burnt from the protective charm, Quirell's mind was trying to keep Voldemort from doing too much damage because he realized... Harry is a fucking child and this is wrong on so many levels. So Quirell fights back, but still dies)
While Dumbledore tells Harry he did the right thing, trauma is a bitch, and I refuse to think Harry wouldn't have trauma from seeing someone die in front of him. Cale finds Harry looking like he is about to cry in the hallways so he takes Harry away and, once more, puts his mother's teachings in action. Jour told Cale when he was little that in Hogwarts, as long as you actually need it, you can ask Hogwarts itself for a room - be it if you need it for studying or just as a place to hide.
Cale asks Hogwarts for a place where he and Harry can be alone, and Hogwarts obliges. Once in the silence and safety of that room, Cale tells Harry he can let it go. Harry starts crying. While he may not be the best at comfort, Cale shares that Harry is not the only person who went through something like that since Cale himself watched his mother die on a hospital bed. Harry feels closer to Cale after this instance and thinks to himself that he will try his best to be a good friend to Cale as he was to him. (Cale: Since when was I a good friend? Since when are we friends?)
In the 2nd year, Cale's interest was piqued when Harry spoke Parseltongue during his duel with Draco Malfoy. This alone made Cale suspicious about how intertwined their family lines were with the Slytheirn line since Cale can also speak Parseltongue.
Since the Secret Chamber's serial petrifications cases already started, Cale is immediately suspicious since he knows Harry doesn't have the spine to do such a thing, and Cale himself thinks it's too much of a bother - so someone else is doing something here, and Cale has a strong belief that there is something more to Moaning Myrthle, the ghost from the girl's bathroom on the second floor. (In the meantime, Harry is freaking out because he is half convinced he is doing something while sleep-walking)
After Hermionie is petrified and Hagrid is sent to Azkaban, both Cale and Harry (and Ron, who still didn't like Cale all that much) decide they should do something.
Trying to prove that Hagrid is innocent, Harry and Ron take Hagrid's advice to follow the spiders while Cale tries to find something by asking Hogwarts. Cale asks if there are any books that might help them discover the reason why students are getting petrified. Hogwarts' response is to get him into a room with books on magical creatures.
Once Cale finds out about the Basilisk and about the Acromantula. Knowing that both Harry and Ron went to the Forbidden Forest following Hagrid's advice, Cale immediately goes there as well, making use of his mother's way to tame magical creatures to get to Aragog's lair. Since Aragon knew Jour, Aragog recognizes Cale's magic as belonging to someone blood related to Jour. By sharing his magic with Aragog, Cale gains Aragog's favor and lets the 3 go. (It's way more complicated that I made it look here, but the words elude me for the moment, so this is the short version)
After this, Ron seems to be just a tad nicer to Cale since he pretty much saved them from the giant spiders. Cale tells them about what the information he found about the Basilisk, a creature that fits the narrative of what has been happening recently. Finding a note in the petrified Hermione's hand just proves Cale's deductions correctly. And then Ginny is kidnapped.
When they hear that Lockheart wants to deal with the creature himself, Cale advises Harry and Ron to be careful when dealing with Lockheart since Cale's instincts scream danger whenever the guy is near. They still go and try to tell him what they found about the Basilisk but instead they find that Lockheart, as per Cale's ("frankly scary" as Ron would say) intuition, is a fraud and tries to use the Memory Charm on them too. Cale disarms him.
This time around, both Harry and Cale are trapped inside the Chamber of Secrets after the ceiling caves in due to Ron's broken wand's misfire (don't worry, Lockheart still gets a taste of his own medicine called the Memory Charm).
This is where Harry learns that Cale can also speak Parseltongue and where Cale informs Harry that it is mostly only the descendants of Slytherin who can speak it, bringing forth the idea that in some way they are both related to Slytherin by blood.
During the battle with Tom Marvolo Riddle, Cale is the one who decided to take a leap of faith and protect Harry when Tom ordered the Basilisk to kill him. Thinking fast, Cale orders the Basilisk to stop altogether, banking on the fact that he might also be a contender for the "Slytherin's Heir" position. If the gamble fails Cale dies, but if it succeeds Cale, Ginny and Harry will manage to live. The gamble pays out as the Basilisk stops and, through broken hisses, wishes for her death so that she will not become a weapon of war for Tom Riddle.
Harry pulls out the Sword of Griffindor from the Hat and stabs the Basilisk, after which Tom decides to take matters into his own hands by attacking Harry. Cale, during the battle, talks with the Sorting Hat and finds out that Basilisk Venom will kill whatever the Tom Marvolo Riddle in front of him is as long as he uses it on the source of the magic. To put an end to everything, Cale is the one that stabs the diary with one of the Basilisk's fangs, causing the Tom before them to dissipate.
Towards the end of the year, Cale is dead set on getting him and Harry to Gringotts, where they could have a test done to decipher their family tree and relations to other families. Once there, Cale teaches Harry another thing: the Gringotts Goblins can be your best friend or your worst enemy, so choose wisely. Cale's associate from the bank, a goblin named Rodnar, is the one that they met and the one that helps them with the test.
Turns out, both of them are related to the Slytherin Family, which explains the Parseltongue. They expected that much. Harry got confirmation about his own family and was informed that he is the one in charge of the Potter Family Vault - provisory for now, permanent holder once he reaches 17 years of age.
At the same time, because of the tests they had to do, the Goblins become somewhat worried when they detect foreign magic inside of Harry Potter's body - specifically, dark magic.
Remembering what happened with Voldemort during their first year, Cale and Harry accept a full test on the dark magic and decide that if it is Voldemort's, they will find a way to get rid of it. This marks the beginning of a 3 year-long plan to get rid of Voldemort once and for all.
During the summer before the 3rd Year, Cale spends time with Kim Rok Soo and his team. Rok Soo tells Cale stories of his years at Hogwarts, and he teaches Cale the Patronus Charm. Cale's Patrons turns out to be a Thestral - mostly because most of the happy memories Cale has are with his mother and her death affected Cale a lot more than people think at first glance.
Year 3 begins with both Cale and Harry meeting a Dementor on the train, with various reactions to it. While Harry faints and develops as deep fear of Dementors, Cale's experience is a bit different. When the Dementor appears before him, Cale's magic seems to go just a bit out of control, which makes the Dementor flitch due to its potency. Cale doesn't seem to be as affected by that encounter, which is something Remus Lupin takes note of when Cale comes and visits Harry's train compartment to check on him.
When Harry sneaks into Hogsmeade, he meets up with Cale, who is there to buy candy for Bansen and Lily as Christmas gifts. While Harry is in one of the shops, Cale notices a black dog and starts petting it, finding the animal quite cute. When Harry comes out and finds Cale petting the dog, he not only recognizes the dog but also believes it is weird for the dog to have followed him around.
When it is time for them to return, Harry tells Cale both about the dog and about the tunnel he used to get to Hogsmeade (and the conversation he overheard). Cale is immediately suspicious about the dog and very interested about the Marauder's Map, thinking that whomever created it is a very skilled wizard.
After the divination class where Professor Trelawney gave her prediction about what will happen in the future, Cale contacts Rodnar and asks him if he can find anything on the case of Sirius Black, since he believes something is not quite right there. Rodnar contacts Cale back a bit later, telling him that there is no such thing as a court hearing of Sirius Black and that he was sent immediately to Azkaban. From there, Cale works with Susan Bones and her aunt to resolve this clear lack of justice accorded to Sirius Black's case and to get his name cleared.
In the meantime, Harry, Hermione, and Ron hear about Buckbeak's execution and try to prevent it.
The more Cale digs into the past of Sirius Black and his crimes, the more suspicious everything becomes. Then, he remembers Scabbers looks peculiar for a pet rat - specifically, that Scabbers is a rat with a missing finger. Realizing Harry and the others are in danger, Cale attempts to reach them in time to help, only to end up coming a bit too late and assisting Harry and Hermione with the Time-Turner, coming with them to the past and having his Patronus help Harry's when they need to get the Dementors to back away from Sirius and past Harry.
Once Sirius is safe, Cale presents to Sirius his options: 1. He continues like this and hides for the rest of his life or 2. He can accept help from Cale and present his case to the Ministry of Magic and get some mind healing sessions, after which he will be free to take custody of Harry.
Of course, Sirius accepts Cale's help, and Remus Lupin even jokes that if he didn't agree, Remus himself would have dragged him to get help. When Sirius asks why Cale is doing all of this, Cale just replies that this will help Harry and annoy a certain people he quite dislikes. By the 5th year, Harry is in Sirius's custody.
Towards the end of the 3rd Year, Cale tells Harry to meet him in the Chamber of Secrets. When Harry arrives, Cale tells him that there is something very strange about the Chamber - it was way too empty. Understanding where he is going with this Harry asks if Cale found anything that tells him there is something more to the Chamber. Cale says that it is merely his intuition.
The two spend the night there trying to find something amiss within the room. During this time, Cale tells Harry he should be weary of Dumbledore. When Harry asks why, Cale replies: "Men like Dumbledore care only about their plans, not about the people that are part of their plans. Dumbledore is the same type of person that I am. So be careful around him and scrutinize every word he says."
Harry, internally, disagrees on the view that Cale has of himself, thinking that although Cale might not show it the conventional way, he truly does care about him and the others.
The two, in the end, find that there is a secret library inside the Chamber of Secrets, full of books from the time of Salazar Slytherin. They even find his journal. Cale decides to try and memorize as much of this library as he could, looking for ways to try and get rid of Voldemort, whom Cale suspects to be behind the Dark Magic inside Harry's body. In the library, Cale and Harry find some information on Horcruxes - something even Salazar Slythrin called "a practice that no one should ever attempt at any point in their life" and they both start making connections between Voldemort and Horcruxes. This is how year 3 ends.
Year 4, for Cale, starts with hearing about the Death Eaters raid after the Quidditch Championship. Knowing that this is merely the beginning of the trouble, Cale starts conversing with Kim Rok Soo about the situation. Kim Rok Soo asks Cale to be careful and not to be reckless should he ever come across a Death Eater.
At Hogwarts, Cale decides to make more progress in the memorization of the books in Salazar Slytherin's secret library. The book that he starts reading explains the concept of "magic reflection" as a defensive technique in a duel. Cale starts thinking if this could be used against the Unforgivable Curses that Mad-Eye Moody showed them during the Defense Against the Dark Arts.
When the Triwizard Tournament starts and Harry is suddenly and inexplicably chosen to be part of it, Cale immediately suspects Dumbledore of putting Harry's name into the Goblet of Fire. He tells as much to Harry and the others, feeling that even if his suspicion turns out to be wrong, at least they will keep their guard up during the competition.
During the competition, Cale tries to help Harry as much as he can to prepare - and that includes stopping Ron's jealousy from going too far. So Cale invites Ron to have tea with him and talk to him about his insecurities. Cale tells Ron not to let his feelings destroy a friendship that he cherishes, and instead, invites Ron to come to him and talk about whatever he wants as a way to get things off his chest. Cale reasons with himself that he already does that (in some capacity) with Draco since the second year so having Ron do this too is not that much trouble now.
From there, things progress normally. During the Yule Ball, Cale attends with Susan Bones. The two discussed the happenings in the previous year and what happened this year as well. Susan is well aware that Harry couldn't have gotten into the TriWizard Tournament without someone else putting his name in the Goblet, and she feels pity for Harry, who has to deal with so many things happening to him. Both Susan and Cale decide that this year protecting Harry and finding who made him part of the Tournament is the most important thing. Both also remark how Rita Skeeter is a very annoying type of journalist and that if she becomes a problem, both of them will do their best to deal with her.
On the day of the last task for the tournament, the Weasley Twins decided to pull a little prank and, though sheer bad luck, Cale ends up being the one that the prank falls on. Cale has to change clothes due to the twins' prank, and a Hufflepuff student tells Cale he can take his spare robes. (The Hufflepuff kinda like Cale ever since Susan vouched for him despite being a Slytherin.)
Cale takes the offer. Feeling that something is about to go wrong, Cale asks Harty before hand if he can borrow the Invisibility Cloak. Harry, although confused, accepts.
When the third task starts, Cale sneaks into the labyrinth with the Invisibility Cloak and tries to stay around Harry to make sure he will be fine. Cale loses sight of Harry at one point but finds Cedric Diggory, a 7th year Hufflepuff student and gives himself away in his haste. When Cedric asks Cale why he is there, Cale tells him he is not there to intervene with the Tournament, he is just there to make sure Harry makes it out in one piece. Liking the loyalty Cale showed and fully agreeing that Harry is in need of protection, Cedric tells Cale he will help Harry if he is in a any trouble. Cale thanks him and the two make their way through the maze, later meeting Harry at the place where Cup was.
When Cale realized that the Triwizard Cup was a Portkey, Cale also held onto the Cup being transported with Cedric and Harry to the graveyard where Peter Pettigrew was. When Peter tries to use Avada Kadavra on Cedric, Cale employs the "magic refection" technique he read in the Chamber's library, casting Protego and praying that the Unspeakable Curse will bounce off the shield he created. It does happen, but Cale miscalculated and Harry still ends up injured and his blood is used to raise Lord Voldemort from the grave.
Voldemort and Harry still duel, which resulted in the Priori Incantatem still taking effect. Thinking fast, Cale tells Harry to come behind him with Cedric and sets up a new shield. This buys the three kids time, as Cale tells Harry and Cedric to take the Cup once again while their are under the shield so that they can go back. When the two ask Cale what he will do, Cale just tells them he will be fine. Once they are gone, Cale turns his attention towards Voldemort and his followers. Voldemort is indignant at the attitude of a mere Hufflepuff child and fires another Avada Kadavra. Cale knew that if that spell hit the shield will not save him. As such, Cale did another stupid thing: he used a type of magic he only read about before, Apparition.
Cale ends up in the Forbidden Forest, with a shoulder injury but otherwise alive after his 1ts successful Apparition.
Later on, after Cale makes his way back to Hogwarts, he finds out that both Harry and Cedric are alive and well. Harry and Cedric were worried sick about Cale but unanimously decided not to mention Cale's presence in the graveyard because they know Dumbledore doesn't like Slytherin students and they both fear Cale will be in trouble.
When Dumbledore talks with Harry in private later, Harry keeps in mind that Cale warned him not to trust Dumbledore. Cale's works seem to be proven right when Harry noticed Dumbledore looks triumphant when he hears Harry's blood was used to bring Voldemort back to the living. Feeling hurt, Harry seeks out Cale to tell him thing, and Cale comforts Harry as best as he can.
A bit later, Cale tells Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, and Cedric to meet up to discuss what happened during the tournament. Cedric shows up and brings with him most of the other classmates who also feel something is weird about this. When Harry tells about his conversation with Dumbledore, everyone is quite mad because they don't like that Dumbledore went to the extreme of putting Harry's name in the Goblet to use him as a pawn in his own schemes. When someone points out that Barty Crouch Jr. who disguised as Mad Eye Moody could have done that, Harry points out that Moody was Dumbledore's friend, so would Dumbledore really be fooled by Barty's act?
When that was pointed out, everyone became quiet. Cale breaks the silence by telling everyone that whatever is happening will not be resolved by the Ministry of Magic. Susan backs Cale up, stating that her aunt told her that Fudge is not as reliable as people think.
Cale proposes everyone to work together from the inside of Hogwarts since they will most likely be in danger, most are skeptical - especially Ron who doesn't trust Draco or any of the other Slytherin that much. Cale tells Ron it is understandable for him not to he OK with this arrangement but if they don't work together, the ones that will lose will be them.
Someone asks Cale if he has a plan since he is so sure of what he said. Cale looks at Harry, who nods in response, and says: "Harry and I have a plan. It's risky and very difficult to put in action. But my main question to you all is: Do you trust us?" The others nodded, some faster, others more reluctant. Cale smiles and then proceeds to tell the: "Then trust me when I say, we need to help the Slytherin students to be on our side. They are just kids. They are scared more of their parents' words/actions if they disobey, rather than the consequences of their blind loyalty. That undying piece of shit is using them as a means to an end, and when their usefulness expires, he will get rid of them. Just because they are Slytherin doesn't mean they don't deserve to be helped." Harry takes it from there: "Which is why we want to show them that they still have a choice. Cale has tried his best until now to make his fellow Slytherin understand that, but to no avail. Now, if we work together, we might just be able to save them from all of this."
Draco is a bit surprised by this since he never realized Cale tried to help the others in the Slytherin House. Cale, seeing his reaction, explains to Draco that when dealing with Slytherins, you can't show too much that you are against the Dark Lord's orders since that will immediately alert them. The Slytherin kids know that if someone betrays the Dark Lord, they should tell their parents, or they will be called an accomplice to their betrayal. So Cale cannot be upfront with the others, but putting seeds of doubt in their minds is better than nothing at this point. If they play their cards right, the other Slytherin will doubt the validity of the Dark Lord's words at one point or another. What they need is to make that happen sooner.
The meeting ends with that and with a confirmation from Cedric that he will help Cale with whatever he needs over the summer. Cale tells Cedric, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Harry, Neville, Luna, Susan, and Terry to meet him again during the summer because he needs their help with something that is essential to their plan.
(After the meeting, the Hufflepuff house pretty much adopts Cale as well. Especially after Cedric tells them that Cale saved his life during the confrontation with Peter Pettigrew and later with Voldemort. When they realize Cale's shoulder is still hurt after the Apparition, the entire house puts Cale into blankets and makes hot chocolate for him. Cale, albeit confused, doesn't complain)
During the summer, the group meets up and, amidst all the planning, they bond. Draco becomes more friendly with Harry and his group, much to Cale's approval. Meanwhile, everyone starts seeing Cale as the leader of the entire movement/group, although Cale remains oblivious to that. Harry is officially put under Sirius's care during this time, to Dumbledore's disapproval. (Not that there is much he can do about it since the Ministry of Magic not only approved of this but pushed for this to happen. All thanks to Amelia Bones, btw.) Because of this new arrangement for Harry, Cale ends up visiting him at 12 Grimmauld Place during summer and, though Cale honestly doesn't know why, Kreacher takes a liking to Cale, while still disliking Sirius and, somewhat, Harry too. (Look, don't ask Cale. He was just polite to Kreacher. He was taught to be polite to older creatures since young goddammit)
Also, Cale and Harry get some useful updates on the research for a way to get the Dark Magic out of Harry from Rodnar and the staff at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. All in all, the summer passes quickly for everyone. Especially with the hearing Harry has to go through in August - thanks a lot, Dumbledore - but at least now they know fully that no one believes that Voldemort is back. They can cross out the idea of going to the Ministry for help in this situation.
Then, the fifth year starts, and everyone is introduced to Dolores Umbridge, their new DADA teacher for the year.
When Harry first gets the Umbridge Detention experience, complete with the (illegal) enchanted quill, it is Cale that he chooses to go to first. Cale, although enraged with Umbridge, tells Harry to keep his head down and try not to go against Umbridge. When asked why, Cale replies with: "I have a plan to deal with her, but I need you and everyone else to keep out of trouble for now." Harry, reluctantly, agrees to that.
Meanwhile, Cale poses as a perfectly obedient student in front of Umbridge, telling her that his father has chosen him as the successor to the family business and that he has to conform, and, as such, he won't be able to join the little army of students she is making. Umbridge, seeing that as a pertinent excuse, agrees and notes that Cale and his family would be a wonderful addition to the Dark Lord's army, especially once they are swayed to his side. Cale, on the other hand, is actually digging for misdeeds of Umbridge so he can report her.
To make sure that the report would actually work, Cale meets with Snape and asks what the requirements for a Hogwarts teacher are to be expelled from their position. Snape, guessing where this is going, tells Cale that there needs to be 3 wrongdoings recognized by the Ministry of Magic (with proof) for the teacher to be expelled. He also warns Cale that he will not hesitate to expell Cale should he be found out to be the one behind whatever he is trying to do. Cale takes that as a challenge and asks Snape for a favor: to give Cale lessons in Occlumency. Snape does agree. However, he states that the lessons will stop the moment Cale makes one mistake or the moment he thinks Cale's little scheme to get rid of Umbridge (which Snape also wants to happen mind you) will be found out. And so, before in October, Cale's first lessons in Occlumency begin.
During this time, Cale works with Harry and the others and creates the Hogwarts Army, once it is clear they won't learn anything from Umbridge as their DADA teacher. They use the Chamber of Secrets as their true meeting spot, with the Room of Requirement as a front. Meanwhile, Draco, who is part of the group created by Umbridge, named the Inquisitorial Squad, is trying to do as Cale told them at the end of last year - to place seeds of doubt in the minds of the other Slytherin students. Draco chooses to do so by pointing out that Umbridge's temperament is getting worse - today she was screaming at some 2nd year kids from the Hufflepuff house, and tomorrow she might just start screaming at us. To divert suspicion from himself, Draco just says that he just finds the old hag's attitude annoying since she is merely a half-blood compared to most of the Slytherin students who are pure blooded and that if she ever rises her voice at us then should we, pure-bloods, just stand there and take it? ("My father will hear about this" intensifies)
This attempt does plant some doubt in the others although Draco sees it as a failure.
Until Januray, Cale puts his little scheme in action. First, using the Occlumency Lessons from Snape, Cale makes sure to create a pensive containing the memory of Umbridge stating that she is part of the Swayer Family - which he will use later in the year. Next, after digging into Umbridge's past, he strikes a deal with the Ghosts of Hogwarts - including Peevees - that has them spreading rumors around about Umbridge and whatever mistakes and scandals he could find in her past. Finally, he contacts Kim Rok Soo with these findings and urges his uncle to finish his part of the plan before coming to Hogwarts to take care of Umbridge.
When Harry has his vision of the attack on Mr. Weasly, instead of bringing it up to Dumbledore, Harry finds Cale and tells him that they need to start putting their plan in action. This leads to Harry still taking Occlumency Lessons, but instead of Snape teaching him, it is Cale (who took the Polyjuice Potion to look like Snape) that teaches him. This is merely a front for part of their plan. Since they know now that Voldemort is the owner of the Dark Magic inside Harry, the two want to use this connection Harry has with Voldemort to find out about the locations of his Horcruxes. The principle they use is something studied by Salazar Slytherin, who writes in his library that there is a way to feed false information to someone but that person's mental state should be less than perfect for it to work. Combined with the knowledge that whomever attempts to create a Horcrux will have their mental state damaged, Cale and Harry decide they can actually try this on Voldemort. So Cale teaches Harry how to implant imaginary situations inside Voldemort's head, with Voldemort thinking that these are Harry's actual memories that seeped through their connection rather than just made-up scenarios. In the meantime, Harry learns about the Horcruxes: the diary they have destroyed during their 2nd year; the Gaunt's Family Ring that is currently in Dumbledore's possession; the Slytherin Locket - location unknown; the Hufflepuff Cup - location unknown; Ravenclaw Diadem - location unknown; and finally Nagini, who is always with Voldemort.
Knowing they have to destroy these items, the two start searching for them using the easiest way they could think of - asking Hogwarts. Cale asks Hogwarts if there is any room inside that castle that has a Horcrux inside of it, and, in response, Hogwarts opens the way to the Room of Requirement where the two find Ravenclaw Diadem - after a long time of searching.
From there, they announce Rodnar and the Gringotts Bank about the fact that there are more Horcruxes than anyone could have guessed and tell them what items they are. Knowing this, the Goblins make an inspection of the vaults in search of a signature of dark magic, finding the Hufflepuff Cup and giving it to Cale. With 2 Horcruxes in their hands, 1 already destroyed and 1 in Dumbledore's hands, the two decide that the Slytheri Locket should be their next target. But, with no concrete location for it yet, the two turn their attention towards dealing with Umbridge, who has been getting more and more angry due to the rumors that were spread around by the Hogwarts Ghosts.
Umbridge's temperament is truly getting out of hand, for she even starts yelling at her own Inqisitorial Squad when the rumors don't stop. This makes the Slytherin doubt their choice of loyalty even more since Umbridge is a half-blood and she is allowed to yell at them (pure-blood wizards) and the Dark Lord seems to not have heard or done anything about it.
In April, where Umbridge would become the Headmistress in canon, instead there is a visit from Kim Rok Soo, his teammates and 2 other officials from the Ministry of Magic because Cale sent the evidence that he found about Umbridge. They accuse Umbridge of "impersonation of a successor to a pure-blood wizard family" with the proof being the pensive that Cale send of Umbridge claiming she is related to the Swayer Family which turns out to be a lie. Next, they present the evidence of her taking bribes and other means of payment as a member of the Ministry, which is illegal by all means.
During these accusations, Umbridge becomes more and more furious, knowing that it was a student who organized all of this. Since the accusation scene takes place in the Main Hall with most of the students and teachers present, Umbridge sees Cale, who appears (to her) a bit smug. Knowing that even if she tries, she can't prove her innocence anymore, she decides to take Cale down with her. Umbrige uses Crucio on Cale, which causes him quite a lot of pain.
Meanwhile, Cale is very much aware that there is a chance that Umbridge will attack whomever she thinks is responsible for her downfall. He, however, is fully ready to take whatever Umbridge will do because 1. it will only serve to incriminate her further and 2. Cale was the one that came up with this plan, he will not let someone else take the fall for him. (Although Umbridge casting Crucio was not in his plans)
The pain that Umbridge's Crucio brings Cale is quickly stopped by Kim Rok Soo who punches Umbridge and leaves her unconscious. (Go get her, Rok Soo!!!!)
This incident happens in front of the already doubtful Slytherin students, who know (read: think they know) Cale is innocent and immediately jump to help him since he is pretty much down for the count, Draco and Blaise being the first ones to try and see if Cale is alright. Harry and the others then point out that this is not the only time Umbridge has resorted to punishments such as these, telling the officials of the Ministry about the enchanted blood pen that Harry was forced to use in detentions. (To say that Snape and McGonagall weren't horrified was a lie) Other students, including the Slytherins, came up to tell about how Umbridge kept yelling and blaming them for every little thing that went wrong for her.
Cale was taken to the infirmary where he is recovering, while Kim Rok Soo is very much aware that Cale might have even planned for himself to become a target of Umbridge to further incriminate her. Kim Rok Soo doesn't like that one bit. He tells as much to Snape in private (with whom he is still friends btw) and asks Snape to look after Cale. Kim Rok Soo is not able to stay long since they have to get Umbridge to an interrogation (Kim Rok Soo promises to make her scream during it btw) and, later, to incriminate Fudge who was responsible for putting Umbridge in charge of children at Hogwarts. (In other words: Operation "Ministry Take Over" is a go!)
A few days later, Cale wakes up at the infirmary. He is still in a bit of pain, but not nearly as much. Snape is the one that stays with him and the one that is there when Cale wakes up. Snape does tell Cale that what he did was extremely dangerous and stupid (2 attributes that are very much Griffindor-esque), Cale counters with "I can't just let her send a Crucio at another, probably, even younger student, right? Also, how was I supposed to know she knows Crucio of all spells?" Still, Cale does get a lecture from both Snape and, later, McGonagall. And it's not like his friends (from any house) are pleased with this either.
After this, things go back to normal. However, in May, Cale gets a letter from Kreacher. Kreacher feels like Cale and the late Regulus Black share a lot of things - specifically their desire to make things right. In the letter, Kreacher states that he knows where the Slytherin Locket is and that he knows (from the Goblins that he converses with) that Cale is after the Horcruxes. Kreacher says he is willing to give the Slytherin Locket to Cale as long as Cale promises that what they are doing will bring justice to the death of Regulus Black, the last member of the Black Family that Kreacher actually cares for. Cale sends back his promise to do so and tells Kreacher he could come and see that the promise is kept towards the end of the year.
When the O.W.Ls begin and Harry has that vision of Sirius dying, the group knows it is time to move. Harry and Cale instruct the remaining members of the Hogwarts Army to be in full alert mode, knowing that Voldemort plans to keep Hogwarts occupied by sending an army of Dark Creatures while he is at the Ministry of Magic. Harry also tells Sirius to not, under any measure, come to the Ministry of Magic - advice which is ignored and Sirius even brings Remus along since he was there when Harry sent the message. (Thankfully, Kim Rok Soo intercepted the 2 idiots or they would be dead)
Cale, Harry, Draco, Hermione, Ron, Neville, Luna, Terry, Susan, and Cedric go to the Ministry of Magic, fully aware of Voldemort and his Death Eaters being there, but also fully aware that they have a plan.
The final showdown happens in the Department of Mysteries, where Cale has convinced his uncle, Kim Rok Soo, to set up the trap that they need to get rid of Voldemort once and for all.
When Voldemort and his Death Eathers (Bellatrix included, but no Lucius) appear, the trap activates, and there appears an array under their feet. The ten kids start their incantations (all of them having different ones, mind you), and a shield separates Voldemort and his minions from the kids. As they continue their incantation, Voldemort tries to use Avada Kadavra on Harry or Cale, but the shield redirects the spell towards Voldemort himself (tho it doesn't quite hit him). Bellatrix is also trying to use any spell against the kids, Neville in particular, but they are also bounced back. Seeing that their spells are ineffective, Voldemort and his minions resort to taunting to make even one of them lose their concentration, which could lead to the array breaking. Bellatrix starts taunting Draco saying things like "If your parent saw you doing this, they will do everyone a favor and kill him on the spot" or "You are a traitor who sided with the mugles. Do you really have no shame or respect for your pure-blooded origins?". Draco, although he is deadly afraid of his father's opinion of him, is also fully aware that he had never felt more at ease than when he is around Cale and the other. He, aware of the consequences, decided to take matters in his own hand and chose his own path - and he chooses to help Cale and Harry. He doesn't falter in his incantation, nor does he fall for the taunts of Bellatrix, which annoys her.
Voldemort, meanwhile, is going back and forth between trying to get a raise out of Cale and Harry or trying to recruit Cale in his army by telling him about the power he will be given. Neither budge.
When the incantations are complete, Voldemort and his minions find themselves sealed inside a crystal ball. The walls of the crystal ball basically absorb any spells thrown at them and reflect them right back. This makes Voldemort and his minions into a non-existent threat. Cale even taunts Voldemort saying that only our blood can get them out of the crystal balls now. The 10 kids congratulate each other for a job well done. Before they leave the Ministry, they meet with Lucius. Voldemort and Bellatrix are gleeful, thinking that Lucius will kill the kids. The one that speaks up is Draco, who tells Lucius not to get in their way. Lucius looks at his son, lowers his wand, and let's them through, telling Draco that he is proud of him. Voldemort and Bellatrix call Lucius a traitor, but Lucius looks at them as says: "The only one I was ever loyal to was my family. You are not part of my family" before ruffling Draco's hair and leaving. Draco is still in shock (but also very happy) even after they leave the Ministry and go to Hogwarts.
Meanwhile, at Hogwarts, the rest of the Hogwarts Army decides to take part in the fight against the Dark Creatures sent by Voldemort, much to the disagreement of the teachers. During the fight, Slytherin students also enter the fray on the Hogwarts Army side. Most of the Slytherin students were already against the Dark Lord after seeing how Umbridge behaved towards them and how she attacked Cale. Now, they make a full statement by fighting against the Dark Lord. The fight ends without casualties - the injuries the students get are not death threatening.
When McGonagall and the other teachers (including Dumbledore) are about to ask/scold the children for their recklessness, Cale and the others return with Voldemort and his Death Eaters in the crystal balls. When Cale starts explaining the plan that has been in the making for the last 3 years (at least), Cedric, Ron and Neville dissappear for a while, only to return with the Hufflepuff Cup, the Ravenclaw Diadem, and the Sword of Griffindor and a vial of Basilisk Venom in hands.
Cale tells everyone present of what Voldemort did to his own soul and how the items that were brought here are some of the Horcruxes. Ron takes the Sword of Griffindor and puts Basilisk Venom on it, before bringing it down onto the Cup and the Diadem, destroying 2 of the Horcruxes in front of Voldemort.
Luna and Hermione look at Dumbledore and tell him to give them the Gaunt Ring that they know is with him so that it can be destroyed too. During all this, Cale explains how he and Harry came across the connection between Harry and Voldemort and how they used said connection to make sure that they found the Horcruxes. When Occlumency is mentioned, it finally clicks for Snape what Cale used his lessons for. When Snape asks Cale why he couldn't tell him directly of his plan, Cale says: "You were already in a lot of danger since you played the double spy for Dumbledore, Professor Snape. If I told you all of this, it might put you in even more trouble with either Voldemort or Dumbledore." (Cale has suspected that Snape was a double spy since the beginning but with no proof it was hard to even say this; the others started suspecting this during this year). The Ring is also destroyed, this time by Cedric.
Voldemort laughs since there are 2 more Horcruxes, and the kids don't have them. Cale stops him by calling out for Kreacher, who is waiting with Dobby to make his entrance. Kreacher gives Cale the Slytherin Locket and, while looking straight at Voldemort and Bellatrix, tells Cale to destroy it and finally fulfill the last wish of his late Master Regulus.
Cale takes the Locket and looks at Kreacher, who nods. He takes a breath and speaks, for the first time in front of everyone, in Parseltongue, and thus opens the Locket. Once open, he holds out his hand to Cedric, who gives Cale the Sword of Griffindor, and Cale destroys the Slytherin Locket. Now, 5 of the Horcruxes are destroyed. But there is still Nagini, who is still missing.
When Voldemort points that out, Harry looks at the clock and tells everyone to wait a bit.
After a while, Kim Rok Soo (together with 2 dogs *cough* Sirius and Remus *cough*) enters the Main Hall and says: "Sorry I was late. I was snake hunting, and I found 2 dogs on the road as well, " and points to Nagini (who is struggling against some magic binds) and Sirius and Remus, who look like confused puppies.
Cale and Harry tell them they were just in time. Cale then looks at Voldemort and states: "I thought about how you deserve to die, Voldemort, and I felt like a quick death is too kind for you after the amount of trouble you gave everyone. So, I decided I should let you die the death you fear most: the death of muggles. No death in a battle, nor by a sword. But by starvation. Slow and painful."
While Cale was speaking, Kim Rok Soo brought Nagini closer. However, in a last-ditch effort, Nagini manages to free herself from the bindings and makes a dash to bite Cale. Neville, although scared, takes the Sword of Griffindor from Cale's hands and kills Nagini, protecting Cale.
And with this all the hope Voldemort ever had vanished as Nagini dissipates.
Everyone congratulates Neville for his bravery, although Neville doesn't feel like he did anything much - he just says that his body moved on its own and that this was by far the scariest thing he ever went through.
Cale and Harry share looks, and then they say things aren't really over yet. Cale passes Harry a bottle of liquid and tells everyone that Voldemort has one more Horcrux, one not even Voldemort knew about - Harry. He then proceeds to tell everyone about their findings at the end of the 2nd year and what the St Mungo Hospital found as a solution - it is a potion that will expell any magic in someone's body, be it theirs or someone else's. Harry says he will take the risk that the potion poses because he trusts Cale to bring him back if something goes wrong. Harry then proceeds to find a chair nearby and sit down. He drinks the potion and slowly falls unconscious.
Cale keeps a keen eye on him the entire time while explaining how the potion works. Whoever takes the potion will have their magic slowly seeping from their body into the air around them. This can kill the person, which is why a maximum of 5 minutes of unconsciousness is the amount permitted before someone actually dies. If the person who took the potion spends more than 5 minutes into unconsciousness they will defines die.
During the next 2 minutes, everyone witnessed a black fog exiting Harry's body, and after it is fully gone, Cale goes to Harry and makes him drink another potion, the one that will wake Harry up.
During his sleep, Harry enters the Limbo, where he meets and talks with a young Tom Riddle who feels very guilty about everything that Voldemort has done. He apologizes to Harry for all that he went through and explains that the piece of Voldemort's soul that Harry had inside of himself was the last piece of humanity that Voldemort possessed. Tom then explains that he had tried to stop Voldemort from going down the path he did, but he was always brushed aside. Voldemort created so many orphans when he himself lived the life of an orphan before. Voldemort went against everything that was his old person when he killed Harry's parents and tried to kill him. So, when the opportunity appeared, he attached himself to Harry and tried to help warn him of Voldemort's presence around him. Harry says that it is not his fault, for he tried his best and failed. As such, Tom has no reason to apologize, and the one who should feel guilty is Voldemort and not him. Tom thanks Harry before saying that he will spend his remaining time here, in Limbo, as he waits for Voldemort's remaining soul to follow him into death. He also tells Harry not to worry, for he has made peace with Death and is ever eagerly awaiting the slumber now. Before Harry comes back to reality, Tom tells Harry to live well and cherish his friends.
Once awake, Harry asks if it worked, and Cale answers with a resolute yes. After this, he is hugged tightly by Sirius and Remus, who were worried beyond words.
Cale takes the crystal balls containing Voldemort and his minions and gives them to Kim Rok Soo for safekeeping. When asked why Kim Rok Soo gets to keep the crystal balls, it is revealed that Kim Rok Soo took over the position of Minister of Magic after he and his team arrested Fudge after it was found out that him and a good chunk of the Ministry of Magic were supporters of Voldemort. Kim Rok Soo referred to the whole thing as a "Well needed sping cleaning" and mentioned that most of them are currently in Azkaban or awaiting trial. He also mentions to Dumbledore that he is also on the list for the amount of sketchy things he had pulled over the years and that because of this, from the next year onwards, either Snape or McGonagall will be Headmaster/Headmistress. Snape immediately gives the position to Minerva, stating he is already done with children for the rest of his life. Everyone laughs at that, and Rok Soo says gleefully that Lee Soo Hyuk owns him money now, which earns him a glare from Snape.
And so the 5th year ends. Voldemort and Bellatrix are basically waiting for their death in the crystal balls, and the other Death Eaters (bar Snape and Lucius, who are exceptions - one because he worked for the Order of the Phoenix; the other because he turned himself in and even turned other Death Eaters in so Kim Rok Soo decided to lighten his sentence to a life of working for the Ministry under a blood contract) were hunted down and send to Azkaban.
What no one knew was that while everyone was high on the relief of getting rid of Voldemort or focused on getting the Death Eaters, Voldemort was visited by an individual. This individual wore a mask and was very disappointed in Voldemort: "Taken down by a bunch of kids? Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is why you were never going to be the strongest wizard - no matter what you wanted or sacrificed for it" said the masked man. "Too bad. I didn't think I had to take the stage this early but oh well. I would say you were useful for as long as you existed, but I would be totally lying. Enjoy death, Tom Marvolo Riddle." said the masked man before putting Voldemort out of his misery, his body dissolving inside the crystal ball.
Even though Cale and Harry expect their 6th and 7th year to be way less eventful, what awaits them is a fateful meeting with the one that calls himself "White Star."
A war is on it's way and they can only hope to survive.
And done. Thank fuck this was long as hell, but then again, I did go through 5 years worth of events for this fic. And, I still have some little details I need to speak about:
Cale was born on the 8th of November 1979. This makes him 11 on the 1st day of year 1 at Hogwarts, and he turns twelve just a bit after the Troll Incident.
Cale is extremely happy to have someone like Kim Rok Soo in his life, and he is also very grateful for his presence. Kim Rok Soo feels more like an older brother that Cale never had, rather than an uncle.
Cale's boggard is... well, himself, in a way. After his mom died, Cale tended to lash out at everything and everyone. He fears returning to the type of person he was back then, when he would say hurtful words even to Kim Rok Soo.
Kim Rok Soo took Cale around with him and his team during the summers after the death of Jour, mostly to make Cale have some good time and a change of scenery.
This is how Cale met Alver in France. (I swear I can't NOT have Alver as French. He looks like he would eat a baguette and correct your pronunciation of "croissant" - I know you think the same now)
Here, Choi Han is Choi Jung Soo's nephew. Choi Han goes to Drumstrang btw.
Ron and Beacrox are still serving the Henituse family. (Cale also feels guilty for saying bad things to them as a child)
Bansen is a muggle, but Lily turns out to be a half-blood. This is one of Cale's main reasons for going against Voldemort - a world where Voldemort wins means a world where Bansen and Lily can't live.
There are a ton of things that I haven't even mentioned: like how many people Cale (unwittingly) befriends at Hogwarts; Cale also stress bakes (which makes him share whatever he ends up baking with other students, which results in him being liked because who would turn down baked goods?); Cale is friends with most of the Elves and they like Cale because he is nice; Cale and Hagrid become good friends because they share their adoration for magic creatures; Ron admits that Cale has "balls of titanium" after he approached Fluffy without fear - and ever more so after meeting Aragog; Blaise feels like he is the only truly normal and sane Slytherin whenever he watches Cale;
I want to introduce Raon, Ohn and Hong, but I dunno if they should be introduced from year 1 or if I can introduce them during Year 6.
Cale, as always, destroys White Star's evil plan in 2 years tops while juggling graduation and studies. For reference, taking down Voldemort basically took 5 years, so yeah, WS should be ashamed since his minion was harder to deal with.
You read that right, Voldemort was thrown down the road he went by White Star. He was the one who actually gave Voldemort the information about Horcruxes.
I want to mess with the canon because canon is dead to me for the most part. This also means I want to make new ships. I wanna put Draco with Ginny (it will work out later on, I feel); Harry either with Hermione or Hannah Abbott; Neville Longbottom with Luna Lovegood; Cale might get together with Susan Bones (political power couple these 2 are); Ron either with Hermione (like in canon, if Harry doesn't end up with her) or Lavander Brown. Trust me, I know the ships are weird but if the narration works, the ships will also work.
Harry and Cale kinda end up like brothers - mostly because they have the same amount of bad luck and they end up in the same shit-show together.
Cale feels indebted to Fred and George Weasley after the prank from year 4 because he was in Hufflepuff robes instead of Slytherin robes when Cale went against Voldemort, so he was kinda saved from a lot of trouble. Cale literally tells them "Whatever you need, whenever you need it, as long as I can get it - it is yours".
Lee Soo Hyuk becomes again the leader of the "Supernatural Prevention Team" after Kim Rok Soo becomes Minister of Magic. He is still laughing since Kim Rok Soo ended up with even more paperwork to do than him. (This usually ends with Rok Soo giving him more paperwork to do)
Rok Soo might end up with Severus Snape... at least as an implied relationship. They have been friends since Jour basically forced them to become babysitters for her in Hogwarts and implicitly trust each other.
Lucius is more loyal to his family than to Voldemort here, which results in him just turning his back to Voldemort once it is clear he is dealt with. He never wanted Draco to end up as a Death Eater and is very proud he never did.
After the confrontation with Voldemort at the end of Year 5, Draco can perform a Patronus Charm. His Patronus is a Falcon.
And yes, Draco actually gets friends and a personality beyond being just a bully in the first 4 books/movies. Like seriously, let him be a child, and he can change for the better goddammit. (Cale will be a good influence on Draco, but, essentially, Cale is bad for Draco's heart rate because he is damn crazy)
Kim Rok Soo's Patronus is Runespoor. Choi Jung Soo's a St. Bernard. Lee Soo Hyuk's is a Crow.
I haven't planned out Year 6 or 7 yet but I do know that White Star quickly became a problem for everyone.
Also, during years 6 and 7, the Thames family and the Pevrell family became more important. I know I want Death to still be intertwined with White Star and the 2 families. (And yes, Death is still very much a whining child that wants either Cale or Harry to take his place like in the TCF/LCF canon)
Cage and Taylor are working at St. Mungo's Hospital. They are the ones that create the potion for Harry.
Dumbledore will answer for the bullshit he pulled - especially, for putting Harry with the Dursley's and keeping him there, whether he knew about the abuse or not. He will also answer for the whole "Sirius's missing trial" thing.
Yes, I am giving Sirius therapy. You can't expect him to take care of Harry without going through therapy first, can you? Some other kids will also get therapy through osmosis from Cale himself.
I will also explore Jour's time at Hogwarts as well - probably in a separate series, like a prequel. Also, the reason Kim Rok Soo, Choi Jung Soo, and Lee Soo Hyuk are in Britain is because their families fled Korea after the Korean War that ended in 1853. Kim Rok Soo is around 34 when Cale is starting Hogwarts, just for reference.
Cale is very mature for his age, and Kim Rok Soo kinda hates it because, to him, Cale is still a baby, and he needs to be protected. But fate said a big "Fuck You" to both of them.
This is all my brain is capable of rn. This damn thing took 2 weeks to write - because I couldn't stay and write it in one go like many of my other ideas.
So what do you think? Good? Bad? That I am high on magical mushrooms with this?
Hopefully, you had fun with my ramblings despite the length of this idea.
Either way, I hope you have a great day/night and that you take care of yourselves!
See you soon (because I need to recharge after this),
- TooManyPlotBunnies- Send Help
#fanfic ideas#fic ideas#harry potter#lout of the count’s family#lcf cale#original cale henituse#kim rok soo#lee soo hyuk#choi jung soo#hermione granger#ron weasley#this is basically Cale in Harry Potter#let the madness begin#holy shit this is long#the idea is crack#but who cares#albus dumbledore#i like and dislike Dumbledore#but also he fucked some things up#and I am here to either expose his ass or cover his ass#depens on the thing he fucked up#kim rok soo is very much badass#ministry of magic#(the ministry will get a revamp once Kim Rok Soo takes over)#severus snape#canon is dead to me#snape will have friends (goddammit)#sirius black#sirius gets therapy#and harry gets to be adopted by sirius later
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And so, the last Bad Batch Eve falls upon us.
It is surreal to think that a show that has meant so much to me for three years will come to an end. I've talked about how meaningful TBB is to me many times, and I most certainly will in the future, but I didn't want to pass on the opportunity to do it on the last Bad Batch Eve we'll officially have.
The night before Aftermath premiered, I'd struggled with some pretty bad anxiety. In the weeks following after that and throughout the first season, I dealt with depression and anxiety being diagnosed as well as an ear infection the doctor attributed to said mental illnesses. I went through a pretty bad breakup. The lockdowns were at their peak where I was. But despite that being a rough time, I also vividly remember being in my room at home, my favorite place in the world, eating my favorite food and drinking my favorite relaxing tea, hearing it rain outside, wearing my favorite hoodie and my PJs, watching/rewatching those season 1 episodes. Seeing Crosshair deal with the inhibitor chip seemed to echo some of what I was going through, i.e. having something in your head you couldn't really control. I wondered how afraid he must have felt, and I sympathized with him.
During S2, as Crosshair was off with the Empire, I was off living in my hometown the first time, away from my true home and my family, and I have to admit I was very lost during that time. I did make mistakes. I did return home, and I left it again, albeit now more ready, more prepared, more stable. But it was still a second time leaving home.
S3 Crosshair has all but solidified my intent in going back home and not freaking leaving and I really hope the day in which I can return home to my family the way he did is sooner rather than later. Seeing him grow, own up to his mistakes, forgive and be forgiven, learn to control what's in his head, and heal, feels like a very fitting peak to a journey, a journey that had and still has its ups and downs.
And let's not forget the writing and the fandom. I have written things I didn't think I'd write, things I've loved so much that part of me wants to go back in time and rewrite to experience the joy of doing it all over again (looking at Moonlight here lol). I have also made gifs, which I didn't ever imagine doing! I edited music videos and crack meme compilations, which I had wanted to do for years. Fear not, I'll keep doing all of that - slowly, yes, but not with any less love. Y'all are stuck with me. 😁🩷
And as if all I've mentioned wasn't already very valuable, I cannot forget all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing people I've met because of this show. People who I've learned from, laughed with, cried with, fangirled with, gamed with... every single one of you has been the icing on the cake, the lattice on the pie, the parmesan on the pasta. You have all truly made this worth it and make me love being in the fandom. You give what I do a greater purpose, and you have become people I am happy to call moots and friends. I am over the moon that this show allowed me to cross paths with you. @photogirl894 @rebekadjarin @darthzero22 @arctrooper69 @jedi-hawkins @stardustbee @s-pirth-lemonade @eloquentmoon @sageislostinspring @nahoney22 @freesia-writes @kimageddon @emperor-palpaminty @rainydaydream-gal18 @imabeautifulbutterfly @paperback-rascal @pankeki-25 @dragonrebelrose @dragonrider9905 @questforgalas @lightwise @zoruui @nunanuggets @misogirl828 and everyone else 🩵
I love The Bad Batch and what it's done for my life in so many aspects. I love these characters for their growth and because they were there for me when nobody was, and because they brought me to so many amazing people. I am grateful that this show exists and I cannot wait to keep creating all the stuff I have planned, writing or otherwise.
Thank you, Clone Force 99, and thank you everyone for being a part of this journey!
🩷🌙
#moonstrider speaks#the bad batch#star wars tbb#clone force 99#star wars#bad batch eve#tbb#tbb season 3
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Thanks to @lisbeth-kk for tagging me.
Fic Writer's Meme
How many works do you have on ao3?
I have 28! 18 in Sherlock, 6 in Star Trek: Voyager, and 4 Good Omens.
What’s your total word count?
182,614, a majority of which is Kinesis, but as a person who has always struggled with completing things, the 100,000+ words that aren't Kinesis are a real victory in my head.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Kinesis (Mystrade), The Interrogation of Anthony Crowley, Witch (Ineffable husbands co-written with @mevima), Avast Ye Merry Gentlemen (Johnlock Christmas), The Bold and the Bruised (Mystrade 360MG), Atonement (Janeway/Chakotay post-series reconciliation).
Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?
Absolutely! I love comments. If I haven't responded to a comment it's only because life has been eating my brain and I will get to it once I've recovered.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Probably All the Time it Takes to Wait, which is titled after a song I played obsessively at the time while I was dreaming up the scenario of Chakotay actually getting to have feelings about the whole Fair Haven disaster. Nothing is resolved but they have it out. The song is angsty and so is the fic.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
It's gotta be Kinesis. Not to overhype, but the ending is pretty satisfying and joyful.
Do you write crossovers?
I have the outline of a Sherlock/Star Trek crossover in my WIP pile.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No, but I can't wait. Bring it on, internet. I love an argument. I love to analyze the fears and insecurities of people who start fights on the internet over free content lovingly created and bravely posted. I am unhinged and ruthless.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Hell yes. Smut has been an essential part of my recovery from religion, both the reading and writing of. Smut is so revealing of a character's motivations, their vulnerabilitites, their desires. I think it's a marvellous thing.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge. If so, I'd rather not know.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, the aforementioned The Interrogation of Anthony Crowley, Witch was so much fun to write with @mevima. It was way outside my comfort zone, kinkier and darker than anything else I've written.
What's your all-time favourite ship?
Johnlock and Mystrade are forever duking it out in my head. I also love Ed and Stede's speedrun enemies-to-besties-to-lovers dynamic in OFMD.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
Never say never, right? I have another long one that could be a Good Omens AU set in Toronto in the early 90s. Because it's last on my list of long fics, I don't know when I'm going to get to it. Also all the garbage behaviour of a certain writer/creator has really sapped my enthusiasm for writing in the fandom right now. I had a thought to turn it into an OFMD fic but I'm not sure if or when I'll get around to it.
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue is my friend. If I get stuck in a scene, I just make the characters talk and it helps me move on. Comes from a background in writing plays.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Endings! Spare me from having to finish anything. I get burnt out and distracted easily but I'm learning to manage it. I look forward to the times when the story really flows, but since most days are not like that, it's about finding ways to write the next 5, 10, 500 words.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Like so many things, I don't think there should be hard and fast rules about what writers can and cannot do. For me, I'd be inclined to check with a native speaker if I can find one, but keeping in mind that this is not a professional venture, I think foreign dialogue in fic is a "do your best and be forgiving" venture.
That said, if a writer chooses not to get a native speaker to weigh in on their usage and they get comments like "Hey you bum. Don't use google translate for this!" we have to be willing to take our lumps and seize the opportunity: "My hero! Will you look at the rest of my dialogue for me?" Fandom is about connection building.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
My first creative writing project in first grade was an origin story for a talking boot puppet in a horrifying Canadian children's program called Readalong. But I had no idea what a fanfic was at the time.
My first intentional fanfic might have been an unpublished Sailor Moon or Mulder/Scully fic that may live on in a hard drive somewhere.
First fic on AO3 is actually poetry called Not a Romance about what Kathryn Janeway was thinking after the episode Resolutions.
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
Our Flag Means Death. Probably Ed/Stede but there are so many great characters, it might be hard to choose.
What's your favourite fic you've written?
Kinesis. It's the fic I've always wanted to write. It has some of my favourite vibes. And I derived great joy from firing Mycroft Holmes.
Tagging @hubblegleeflower @may-shepard @the-toad-in-your-piano @copperplatebeech @blogstandbygo @fearlessdiva930 @cirquedereve @antheiasilva if you feel like answering and haven't already been tagged. I tag anyone who sees this and wants to answer (please @ me in your response and I will reblog).
If you see this and you're more of a reader, tag your favourite writers in a reblog or the notes. Seriously, this goes for anything. If you tag me on your original posts, I will gladly reblog and hype your content.
#fandom love and appreciation#fic writers#celebrating accomplishments#good omens#ineffable husbands#sherlock fandom#johnlock#mystrade#star trek voyager#janeway x chakotay
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MeMe and Control over One's Own Destiny
Alright I've been holding off on talking about Mikoto until Double releases, but I saw he was on a train and my brain went Silly. Don't you understand how crazy the symbolism is?! (<- Mentally unwell)
So now I have to talk about how MeMe handles the concept of destiny and the control the alters have on the system's future, because it's honestly so interesting to me.
CW Murder
Disclaimer: I'm not an expert on DID, feel free to correct me if I get anything wrong
The first big connection between MeMe and the idea of destiny is obviously the recurring theme of tarot cards. These are used for divination, meaning the practice of trying to learn about the future through supernatural means. In other words, they're deeply tied to the concept of destiny, of future events that will come to affect us, and the ways we may influence it. What's important to take away here is that, regardless of whether or not you believe in it, reading tarot cards is a way for people to try to understand their future so they can take try to take control of it.
Once you make this little connection, a lot of the imagery in MeMe starts to get interesting. To give you an example, one of the opening shots is of a bunch of tarot cards all scattered in water.
So, their future is scattered, it's uncertain, it's messy, etc. You get the idea, I don't think I need to elaborate on why Mikoto's life is a bit of a mess.
However, I think there are two scenes which are particularly interesting in this regard. When Aokoto (host) draws a blank card in the first chorus, and when he gathers the cards in the deck at the start of the third chorus.
So first, we can be sure this is Aokoto because the lyrics not only use 'boku', but also express confusion at the situation, which only really fits the host.
Why am I [boku] here? It must be a mistake? Take a good look at me [boku], until you find me The truth will come to reveal itself I won't forgive you if this is happening to me even though I'm right
Why am I [boku] here? It must be a mistake? Take a good look at me [boku], until you find me
(Note: If there is no clarification on which pronoun is used when I put lyrics here, it's because the Japanese doesn't actually use any pronouns)
What's happening here? As stated, the tarot cards are a representation of destiny and their future. By drawing a tarot card, Aokoto is trying to understand his situation and destiny better. And by stacking the deck up neatly, he's trying to take control of his destiny, of his future. The desire to be free and be able to control his life is a very important part of Aokoto's character:
(T1) Q14: What will you be doing in 10 years? M (Ao): I'd like to work independently and make my own design company. That way I'm free to do what I want.
(T1) Q8: What are your reasons for wanting to work for your current job? M (Ao): I work at an advertising company that's at the top of the business world, you know? Just being able to get to that position is something to be proud of. I worked really hard to get hired there, too.
Aokoto places high value on the work he's done, because that shows how committed he is to having control over his life and his job.
(T1) Q12: How do you get to work? M (Ao): I ride a road bike. It's a hobby of mine, and it's good to exercise too. I don't need to worry about missing the train, but that can either be a good or bad thing.
I've seen this answer interpreted a few different ways, but personally I believe what Aokoto's implying is that the freedom of not having to rely on the train is both good and bad. Essentially, he doesn't have to stress about missing it, but there's also no guarantee that he'll get to work in time without the reliability of the train. However, he still prefers the bike, because it gives him more freedom.
... Foreshadowing is a narrative device-
There's also the matter of the tarot spreads which appear in that "blank card" scene. There are two distinct ones:
Now, the whole mess is too complicated to get into here (and I actually am holding off from analysis until we get extra context from Double for that reason), but I believe one of these spreads belongs to Aokoto, and the other belongs to Midokoto (Secret Third gatekeeper alter). Which is which doesn't matter, because the card I want to focus on is the card in the "Hopes and Fears" position (EXTREMELY long story), which is I - The Magician (upright) in both of them. The Magician represents (among a fuckton of other things because tarot cards are frustratingly ambiguous by design) power, potential, basically the ability to achieve your goals. Thus, in the "Hopes and Fears" position, it would mean Aokoto wants to be able to control his life and fulfill his potential, and is afraid he might not be able to.
There is also the "Present" or "Self" card being the reversed XII - The Hanged Man. The Hanged Man upright represents (among other things) patience, the hope that as long as everything continues the same, things will turn out okay. Thus, reversed, it could be read as implying the querent is trying their best to change their situation, but are failing at it.
And this is where we get to the second part of the scenes I pointed out before. Because when Aokoto draws a card by itself, it's a blank card. In other words, no matter how much he wants to, Aokoto doesn't have full control of his future. I mean, obviously, right? He himself can't control his destiny when the other alters are also doing pretty impactful stuff. Depending on what theories you subscribe to, he may have ended up in Milgram without even murdering anyone, which is what I believe.
The same can be seen when he tries to put the deck back together. You might notice the deck there is actually thinner than the other time we see it.
He tries to "fix" or "arrange" his future, but he's "playing with half a deck", he's only half in control of his future. In this metaphor, the other alter(s) would have the rest of the deck, would control the rest of the system's destiny. Does that make sense?
Which gets us to the other alter who does tarot reading.
Notice the red mannequin there? The way 0 - The Fool's pouch of food is now a skull? And you can see this alter, heavily implied to be Orekoto, reads a Celtic cross spread with the Fool in the "querent" or "present" position.
Thus, The Fool represents Orekoto, and he too desires control over their future. That's why he's reading the spread, the same way Aokoto previously tried to draw a card to check his future. And I think it's pretty safe to say Orekoto must have killed or attacked at least one person, which is his way of trying to secure a better future for the system. Protector alter and all that.
[Timelines] Mikoto (Ao): Can you hear me talking like this? If you can hear me, then answer me. Why are you doing such horrible things? Hey. It's your fault things have become like this. ……Answer me!! Mikoto (Ore): Ah, ahhh!! Because, I did it for my/your (Boku's) sake…! Because I/you (Boku-ga) would break apart!!
(Translation by Maristelina)
Plus all the other reasons to believe that.
That spread is a bit odd for many reasons, but one thing we can pretty much be sure of is Orekoto's "Hopes and Fears" are represented by VII - The Chariot.
The Chariot (among other things) represents strength of will and control, basically think of it as a more forceful version of The Magician. Thus, Orekoto also hopes he can take control of their life, though he does it through force, and he fears he might be getting too forceful.
If I could laugh, if I could go back I'd play dead even though I'm alive right? If I could end, if I could stop How long would this dream go on?
Assuming it is Orekoto singing here (no pronouns so), it seems he doesn't want to kill, but sees himself cornered, like he has to kill. If he could stop, he'd "go back and play dead even while alive", he wouldn't kill anymore. But when he feels "boku will fall apart", he tries to save him through any means he can, which is likely murder. The exact reasons are as of yet unknown (someone stalking them, stress, could be a lot of things), but that's the idea.
However, you tarot enthusiast might notice a few interesting differences between this Chariot card and the actual Chariot card. This is important, because the meaning of these cards comes from the images, so when the image differs (apart from stylistic choices obvs), the meaning differs with it.
First important difference: the real Chariot has lions, MeMe's Chariot has bikes. This again relates bikes to the idea of freedom and one's own will.
Foreshadowing is-
Second; MeMe's Chariot has the protagonist swinging around a mace, which the real Chariot just has a wand. I frankly don't think this means anything other than MeMe's Chariot explicitly references murder rather than other, non-physical forms of strength and force.
Third, an important part of the real Chariot is that the man doesn't hold a leash on the lions, he controls them through force of will, apparently. Meanwhile, the mannequin in MeMe's version does hold chains to control the bikes, which again I believe simply implies a more forceful and direct version of the meaning. Orekoto doesn't trust his destiny to guide the system in the right direction as long as they're strong enough, he feels he needs to have more direct control.
And finally, the lions in the real Chariot are fine, but in MeMe's version, one of the bikes is fucking exploding.
So what the hell is up with that? Well, let's keep in mind what I said before. Aokoto also wants control of his life. So I believe in a way these bikes represent Aokoto and Orekoto's actions. One of them Orekoto has direct control over (he controls his own actions, after all), while the other is getting hurt by Orekoto's control. Orekoto may want nothing more than to protect the system, but the way he does it is harmful to Aokoto and destroys the control he wants to have over their life. I mean, it landed them in Milgram (according to some interpretations), and it's not like Aokoto likes the murder.
(T1) Q6: Tell us what you hate. M (Ao): Staying up all night working / reptiles / violence
[Double Preview] Hey now, I [ore] saved you right? So why in the hell are you crying?
(I will use the preview as evidence, watch me)
Temporary CW for abusive relationships and rape (Mono Poisoner)
This idea of "love" that hurts the other is also implied by Mono Poisoner, their Trial 1 cover. Though to be clear, Orekoto is not anywhere near as awful as the protagonist of Mono Poisoner, since he isn't intentionally hurting the rest of the system, and obviously isn't actually abusing the other alter(s).
“She belongs completely, entirely to me!” Kissing, sleeping together, everything beyond that too No one can hope to cut this connection between us
After brandishing that poisonous desire to monopolize and having erased YOU completely, It seems like it can be easily embraced, the entirety of that heart “YOU best not get carried away!”
Taking out the really violent and abusive elements out, this does vaguely fit the idea I'm trying to get across.
Temporary CW over
Anyways, the point is that Orekoto wants control over their life, but is accidentally harming Aokoto by taking away his agency.
There is more symbolism of this ‘drive to control destiny’ in the moon which consistently appears throughout MeMe.
As you can see, it’s in the first quarter phase. This is halfway between the New Moon which represents the beginning of a journey and the Full Moon which represents the end or rebirth, and because of that, it can represent a difficult time where decisions must be made, a point where strength of will is necessary. This again fits both of Aokoto and Orekoto, since they’re both making important decisions for their future. Hence also why the moon is half and half, the future is being decided half by Aokoto, half by Orekoto.
Alternatively, you could read it as only Orekoto making decisions, with the other 'half' being "left in the dark" because Aokoto doesn't know what Ore's doing. That would explain why the moon only shows up in relation to Orekoto in the internal world and the murder scenes.
Heavy speculation incoming (more than before anyways)
But hold on a second. I said before the upright Hanged Man, the card on Mikoto's shirt through most of MeMe, is about patience and not doing anything to change their situation. This is somewhat contradictory to The Fool, which is all about new opportunities and taking new risks (long story), and is obviously contradictory to the reversed Hanged Man because that's how tarot cards work. Because of that, and everything else I've been saying, it feels like the upright Hanged Man doesn't really fit either Aokoto or Orekoto.
Which is why it's so convenient we have a third (plot-relevant, there may be more) alter who does want their life to continue as is, isn't it?
The minus energy that I swallowed Hugged me [boku] Maybe it's okay to try to keep on living Split in half, Make that heart beat
This scene is very clearly connected to the aftermath of a murder, and shows an alter that has accepted the "negative (minus) energy" of violence. However, the use of 'boku' rules out Orekoto as the singer. Thus, we have ourselves our favorite Secret Third Alter, Midokoto. And Midokoto says, filling in the blanks, that ‘maybe it’s okay to keep living [like this]’, as long as they ‘split in half’ to ‘make that heart beat.’
Before we continue, I have to address that yes, I believe Midokoto is represented by the upright Hanged Man, even though he’s the only alter who’s never seen wearing the shirt. Either his back is turned, he’s shirtless, or straight up has a completely different shirt. However, I actually think this makes perfect sense.
It’s widely accepted that if Midokoto exists, he’s likely a gatekeeper alter who co-fronts most of the time, meaning he’s still aware of everything that’s happening even while he isn’t controlling the body (<- simplified version, read more if you’re interested [alter roles] [co-fronting]). Therefore, he’s a constant in Mikoto’s life, and it makes sense for him to always be present in some way as long as any alter is on screen. He’s on the shirt when the other two are there, so when the shirt isn’t there, it’s because the ‘upright Hanged Man’ is the one controlling the body. Does that make sense?
I should note, Mikoto’s version of The Hanged Man includes a bunch of eyes on the background.
Which fits the idea of Midokoto overseeing everything in the others’ lives, and for the inverse in Aokoto’s case could also be interpreted as societal pressure, long story.
Yes, Midokoto's celtic cross spread has the reversed Hanged Man in the middle of The Wheel, but let’s just say that means ‘present’ rather than ‘querent.’ Yes, there’s a Fool portrait in the background of that one scene, I swear there’s an explanation but it’s too long to get into here.
Point is, he’s the one who wants their life to continue as is, and thus the one who fits the idea of ‘patience’ that The Hanged Man (upright) embodies.
But make no mistake. He still has The Magician as his “Hopes and Fears” in the spread which represents him, meaning he does yearn for some control and fears not having the means to achieve it.
However, I believe the type of control he’s looking for is different from the other two. See, while Aokoto wants freedom and control over his life in a more conventional way (good job, free movement, independence), and Orekoto wants control in a ‘no one will stop “I/you” from achieving what “I/you” want’ kinda way (aka safety), Midokoto wants control over the system, not the rest of their life. He wants to keep Aokoto and Orekoto ‘split in half’ because that’s how they can both live as they please, it ‘makes their heart beat.’
That’s why the moon that represents decision-making is split in half. That’s why there’s only two bikes in The Chariot card. That’s why Midokoto never bothers to read a single tarot card. Because the ones deciding where their life moves are Aokoto and Orekoto, all Midokoto does is keep things running smoothly. Though of course, this is all just my interpretation.
In fact, you can even tell based on what we believe each alter to do. Aokoto does the day-to-day work, making sure he has the opportunity to achieve his dream of working independently in the future. Orekoto deals with threats until the system as a whole is safe, which includes throwing away evidence so they don't get arrested. He does a dogshit job at it, yeah, but he's trying.
However, once they get into the apartment, when the external threats have been dealt with, the one who bathes to make sure Aokoto doesn't learn of Orekoto's actions, the one who keeps their lives metaphorically 'split in half', is Midokoto.
Heavy speculation kinda over
So, where were we? I said this was inspired by the Double thumbnail, didn’t I? Well, yes, even if I have very little to say about it in relation to this post. You could say I kinda, uh, went off the rails a bit (<- I am immensely unfunny)
As I said, he’s on a train. And with all the stuff I mentioned before about how bikes are associated with freedom for him and stuff, it makes the imagery of being stuck on a train with the victims (I assume that’s what the mannequins represent, I’ve seen other interpretations) a lot more interesting.
Think about it. When you get on a train, you made the decision to enter it, but you don’t have control over where it goes. And that’s what’s happening here: the alter on screen is in for the ride, and he feels there’s nothing he can do to alter the course. It’s like a railroad.
Aokoto didn’t get on this train. Obviously the scene is metaphorical (otherwise who left their mannequins in the goddamn public train), but we know Aokoto doesn’t use the train. However, he’s on it now, alongside Orekoto who is probably the one fronting here? I assume, given the red light in the background. In my mind it would make sense for the thumbnails to be Aokoto T1 -> Orekoto T2 -> Midokoto T3, but that doesn’t have to be the case.
What I’m trying to convey is the symbolism of the system being stuck in a set path, a set destiny, caused by a decision not made by Aokoto. And if Orekoto is really the one fronting or being represented here, he’s miserable because of the path his actions have landed him on.
If I could break it, if I could change Can I do it, I wonder from when I started to give up
He’s ‘given up’ because he’s accepted he’s ‘on the train’, his path is already set and he can’t change it (“if I could change”). Yes, give me that Orekoto angst!
Anyways, please keep in mind this is all my interpretation of the symbolism and all of this is extremely subjective, especially with how confusing Mikoto's entire story is. I hope you forgive my brainrot at seeing a guy take a train. Take care!
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SENTENCE STARTERS: LYRICS THAT HIT ME IN THE FEELS [PT. 1] change words as needed ! ctrl + shift + v to paste into the inbox on desktop.
❝ if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. ❞
❝ we can’t afford to be innocent. ❞
❝ just ‘cause it’s part of a plan doesn’t make it right. ❞
❝ even at the best times I’m out of my mind. ❞
❝ I’m that kind of trouble you know you want to get into. ❞
❝ and when they tell you to give them a smile why don’t you show them how sharp your teeth are ? ❞
❝ my addictive personality finally got the best of me. ❞
❝ I’m just talking but they tell me I’ve been screaming. ❞
❝ this here isn’t singing, it’s just screaming in tune. ❞
❝ I can taste you in my rage. ❞
❝ when you think your wounds are greater a victim can be perpetrator. ❞
❝ I hate this, but push came to shove. ❞
❝ forgive us these smiles on our faces ❞
❝ just picked out an early grave to bury shit; not me, just the weight I’ve been carrying. ❞
❝ maybe in another life we could have done this right, but I guess we’ll never know for sure. ❞
❝ think of all the horrors that I promised you I’d bring. ❞
❝ the only thing I know is it’s easy to miss when you never aim. ❞
❝ i want to know what it’s like to feel wanted for more than something that’s less than dishonest. ❞
❝ there’s a bright side to every wrong thing if you’re looking at me through the right eyes. ❞
❝ even a well lit place can hide salvation. ❞
❝ funny how a fall could feel just like flying when I'm waiting for it to hit me ❞
❝ if we've got no honor then we've got no shame ❞
❝ somehow you slayed your hope, but didn't let yourself know it had died ❞
❝ what would you do if I took this dagger in me and removed it ? ❞
❝ take it out on someone who won't hit you back ❞
❝ say goodbye to your mr. nice guy; you got your wish, he's rotting in hell ❞
❝ maybe I'm a good guy standing on the wrong side; maybe I'm a sweetheart trying to make my own scars ❞
❝ I do this all the time, blending in between the lines of my fiction ❞
❝ I'm feeling pretty empty, this attitude is expensive ❞
❝ paradise waits only for the lonely, the escapist, and the brave ❞
❝ drag me to death, like a lit cigarette ❞
❝ so if I'm honest, I think I'm beginning to question how much I want this ❞
❝ if you know the hunter is coming then you hide or keep on running, because they have slain the gods before. ❞
❝ by the time you figure out the rules I broke I've already won the game ❞
❝ have I done wrong ? am I guilty ? ❞
❝ now would you pray before you twist the knife ? ❞
❝ I'd like to pause, no matter what I pretend, like a pilgrim who learns to transcend; learns to live as if each step was the end. ❞
❝ I was given a name before I was given blood, like you were given your faith before there was made a god. ❞
❝ you say 'please don't ever change' but you don't like me the way I am ❞
❝ the more we think we know about, the greater the unknown ❞
repost of an old meme I created. also here is a playlist based on these prompts ♡
#sentence starters#ask prompt#ask meme#roleplay meme#sentence prompts#sentence meme#rp meme#° prompt !
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sentence meme — as said by looker.
dialogue taken from pokemon platinum, black and white, x and y, sun and moon, and masters. change pronouns and details as necessary.
"Taking what belongs to others is wrong."
"You even gave me information about it beforehand! What's your motive?"
"My job is the type that's always skirting the line of danger. To be honest, I've found it tough to deal with from time to time..."
"What they are up to, I do not know, but I have bad feelings about it."
"If I have nothing to do, it means the world, it is at peace."
"Evil works at night, when it's dark out. Stay alert and watch out for suspicious characters!"
"We have to keep our guard up at all times."
"Hmm, a nighttime mystery at the museum..."
"To be honest with you, I'm actually not the best at pokémon battles."
"But remember–at the time, they didn't think what they were doing was evil."
"The more wonderful the meeting, the sadder the parting."
"All I can do is give you this. It is a little something I obtained in an investigation long ago."
"You tried to ruin the peace ceremony's commemorative play, of all things?"
"Following the path of justice means I sometimes have to force others to say their own good-byes."
"The thoughts they are contemplating, the hopes they are anticipating, these--these are what I want to know!"
"I need a partner like you in order to protect the peace of this city."
"When you're ready to learn the meaning of "hard-boiled," just come and talk to me again."
"Let us put our partnership to the test!"
"There's definitely something off about them. Are they the traitors she was talking about?"
"Pardon, pardon. It took a while to find you!"
"You live in an alley?"
"What I don't know is if enough work will appear to keep food on our table."
"I am so terribly sorry, but could you speak a bit less quickly?"
"Hold on. Don't rush to conclusions."
"You may live here as long as you choose!"
"I am not here to pick a fight."
"When people behave with evil intentions, I cannot turn away and lightly forgive such."
"People and Pokémon are both capable of evolving."
"I find it worrying, not knowing where she goes."
"Is this perhaps how a father feels?"
"I'm sorry! It is just a habit of mine!"
"C'est une catastrophe!"
"What's this?! A date?!"
"She is rather odd, isn't she? A real individual spirit..."
"W-well...yes, I suppose I could do with a nice little break..."
"And your information... It is all true?"
"I made an error of judgment."
"Don't be too quick to assume everything they do is evil."
"As long as you take responsibility and reflect on what you did, I don't plan on giving any lectures."
"I'd like him to make use of what he's learned to help us protect the weak and face evil."
"That's why our job is to watch out for those who might use those things to hurt others."
"I can't believe I don't get to be the detective. It would have been perfect for me..."
"I've found something peculiar on my end, too."
"It's not easy for me to believe you..."
#pokemon roleplay meme#pokemon rp meme#roleplay meme#rp prompts#rp prompt#rp meme#roleplay starters#rp promp#rp memes#rp starters#sentence meme#sentence starters
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ASKBOX MEME 053 / SLEEP TOKEN'S TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN
All prompts taken from Sleep Token’s 2023 album, Take Me Back To Eden. Adjust as needed.
"When we were made, it was no accident."
"It's all the same to me, it makes no difference."
"You've got me in a chokehold."
"Even if it hurts me. Even if I can't sleep. Show me the way."
"Take me past the edge."
"I want to see the other side."
"Won't you show me what it's like?"
"My love, did I mistake you for a sign from god?"
"These days, I would be lying if I told you that I didn't wish that I could be your man."
"You won't ever have to talk about it."
"You'll never wanna talk about it."
"You were more than just somebody I was destined to meet."
"I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me."
"You gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave."
"You say you want me, but you know I'm not what you need. But I am."
"You sit there, acting like you know me, acting like you only brought me here to get below me."
"We'd rather be six feet under than be lonely."
"If you had a problem, then you should have told me."
"I can't get enough."
"You have become the voice in my head."
"Are you in pain like I am?"
"I wanna go where nobody else will ever go."
"There is always something in the way."
"I wanna have you to myself for once."
"I know what you want from me."
"So you take what you want and leave."
"Who made you like this?"
"Show me what you are; I am desperate to know."
"Anything's better than the way I feel right now."
"Be the first to the feast, let's choke on the past."
"You want the same as me."
"I'll take what I want then leave."
"You make me wish I could disappear."
"I could see it in you even then."
"I was trying to hold back the darkness."
"Are you really okay?"
"I can see it in you even now."
"I want to help you but I don't know how."
"I cannot fix your wounds this time."
"I don't believe you when you tell me you are fine."
"Please don't hurt yourself again."
"I know that you will disappear."
"I believe somewhere in the past, something was between you and I, my dear."
"It remains with me to this day."
"No matter what I do, this scar will never fade."
"No matter what I do, this wound will never heal."
"Just let me go or take me with you."
"Is it always the same?"
"Do you wish that you loved me?"
"Are you trying to live like everything is a lesson to learn?"
"Can you ever forgive yourself?"
"I would turn into a stranger in an instant if I could."
"There is something eating me alive—I don't know what it is."
"Maybe not that you conceal your feelings, they just don't exist."
"It's getting harder to be myself."
"Is it better to just not feel?"
"It's been so long that I'm forgetting what it feels like."
"I'd rather not remind myself and leave it all behind."
"I've tried so hard to fix it all, but nothing seems to help."
"I cannot hope to give you what I cannot give myself."
"I don't wanna get in your way."
"The vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me."
"Touch me again."
"You get what you give, you reap what you sow."
"I can see you in my fate."
"When I open my eyes to the future, I can hear you say my name."
"I will travel far beyond the path of reason."
"I need you to see me for what I have become."
"You know my desire."
"No amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence."
"I have traveled far beyond the path of reason."
"Call me when you get the chance."
"Call me when you have the time."
"I just need to leave this part of me behind."
"Do you remember me when the rain gathers?"
"Do you still believe that nothing else matters?"
"The night belongs to you."
#rp meme#askbox meme#ask meme#sentence starters#sentence meme#sentence prompts#rp prompts#askbox prompts#rp starters#m#.am#.actiasteeth#long post
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Hi! I hope everyone is doing well. I am popping up to let you know that I’m alive, that there’s a lot going on, that I still love YR, and that I’m thinking about boundaries and priorities.
I loved Young Royals season three. I especially love how it engaged with the legacy of Erik and the systems of Hillerska. I love that it took the idea of the legal system providing catharsis and that it threw that out the window. I love the way characters got words for what they were going through, how Felice got to name the racism happening to her and August got words to name his disordered eating. Most of all I loved the way Lisa wrote Sara’s relationship with her father and her reconciliation with Simon. That meant so much to me, and I can’t wait to imagine a future for the Eriksson siblings.
Here is a brief list of things I loved about the finale. They were all written in the afterglow of seeing the episode. I stand by them. Especially how much I loved Wille’s ending, and what happened there.
In the coming weeks, I’m sure there’ll be stuff I’m more critical of or don’t feel as strongly about. I especially have mixed feelings about the way Lisa seemed to structure 3.5 in a way that mimics the emotional roller coaster of trauma. I’m not really focusing on that stuff here or now, because I don’t want to. But it’s on my mind, and I don’t know if I’ll end up posting about it here and elsewhere.
At present this post isn’t rebloggable or tagged with much of anything. That’s because I’m trying to figure out the best way moving forward with tumblr. I don’t know if I want to delete this blog and abandon it entirely, but the pressure to present a curated version of myself is too much, and is a pretty big trigger for things like rejection sensitivity and anxiety. The pace here is also too fast and there is no way to keep up with everything, and (forgive me for this cardinal sin in tumblr-land) I wish I had some easier way to not see the same sets of gifs a hundred times with the same commentary. I’m experimenting with slower ways of doing fandom, where I can enjoy myself more.
I do, however, want a way to get the cultural footnotes for Young Royals, especially when they help me write better fic and create better fanworks. I know there’s some pretty darn useful posts about how lines get translated and various holidays and traditions (and looking forward I would like to know more about universities in Sweden, and how the monarchy works and such.) So I want to be able to find the stuff I need without having to spend as much time on what I don’t need. The resource posts people make are truly helpful.
And I also have some other fannish things I want to see here, like Les Mis and Interview with the Vampire. And the memes are nice. I miss the memes.
Before I make the decision about how I engage, I think it will be useful for me to know my priorities. So I’ve thought about them a bit, and I want to make the decisions that align with my priorities. Here’s what I want to focus on moving forward:
I want to spend more time creating. The thing that has always brought me the most genuine joy in this fandom is writing fic. YRS3 ended in a place of possibility for so many characters, and I want to keep writing about them and learning about them that way. (I won’t even lie, of course most of my ideas are about August—August and Kristina working on their intergenerational cousin relationship, August getting pulled into weekly DND sessions with Wille and Simon so they can all get better at being human together while pretending to be elves or something, August doing the personal and liberatory work that allows him and Sara to one day have a Second Chance Romance with they’re older, even August/Nils because oh boy did that season give me ideas about them I never knew I had.) One of my goals is to cut down on browsing time significantly so that I spend more time writing, especially so I can finish Heart and Homeland. I think it’ll make me happier.
I want to spend more time helping others create. Some of the most meaningful experiences I had in this fandom involved being a beta reader or hearing out another person’s fic ideas, and getting to live in that space of creation and collaboration. For that reason, I’d like to still make new YR connections on occasion, especially with people who wanna share their writing process with me. Tumblr may or may not be a place to do that. I’m still figuring out where stuff should happen.
I want analysis to be something I do as part of my creative process, and that’s it. I don’t know if this is fully true, but it felt like ten years ago there was more fandom meta focused on what fans wanted to write in their fanfics, and how their interpretations of canon led to them creating cool art. There was some meta that was about how to interpret canon “correctly” but that wasn’t the priority. Now, it feels like—and this is true even outside of YR fandom, so this is no reflection on YR specifically—there is more emphasis on having the “correct” interpretation of canon. About getting it right, and having the right predictions and interpretations. It feels competitive in a way that wears me down. From this point forward, when posting analysis, I’m going to ask myself, is this furthering my creative pursuits and my understanding of the writing process more generally, or am I just trying to win an argument? If the answer is just to win, then I’m not going to post my argument. That runs counter to my goals.
I don’t want to engage in any space where anonymous discourse flourishes. Even when well-intentioned. Being away for a while was clarifying for me on that point. Turns out one of the biggest triggers for my anxiety and shame are extensive, heated conversations where I don’t know who is saying what and who I can trust. Spaces where there’s a lot of anon conversation are probably going to be ones I block and unfollow first moving forward. It just seems like a good baseline for how I engage.
So this is where I am as of now. I’ll probably continue to hold off on doing much posting in the coming days, but I did want to poke my head up for air for a second to let people know what the state of everything is.
Here’s one picture of the plushes for the road:
And here’s a picture of the waffles I ate on finale day:
Oh, to have cloudberry jam and time spent with friends. These things are truly joyous.
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[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 1/?]
Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.
Ah, Hello! 👋
I'm ineffably delighted to meet you all! 😇
Let's cut to the chase and bear with me as we try together to analyze further the subject of the day:
Aziraphale is in love with Crowley and I am pretty sure he is aware of that fact BUT
[yes, there is a "but", do not erase me from the Book of Life just yet, let me explain first, homie 🥺]
I do not believe he can comprehend WHY he is just yet, and what that would mean for him in terms of... well... EVERYTHING he ever stood for.
It will also be the perfect roots to answer the biggest question yet :
What is Good Omens all about, exactly?
[Yeah, it's a tough one. When I say "bear with me", I really insist on the fact that it will be LONG. I will try my best to make it fun to read and to allow some "natural breaks" but know that I would appreciate your unshared attention if you're willing to give it to me. 😇]
Although, would you have the chance to ask him about it (probably looking at a cup of tea as we would all do in Earthy fashion), Aziraphale would have somewhat of an answer to give you, probably in the range of:
"Because, deep down, Crowley is the nicest being I've ever known."
Is it false? No, Crowley IS nice. Swaggeringly nice, occasionally unhinged, but still. Nice.
And that is somewhat the core of the... "problem" for our soon-to-be Supreme Archangel [Yep, the pain is still fresh, thanks for asking, you're welcome for reminding you 😭👍] because, as much as Crowley learned nuances due to past experiences (Falling being, most likely, the most traumatic one,) Aziraphale remains bound to think in absolutes. And everything relates to THIS perfect meme right there:
[Whoever you are, person/entity who has done that, you have forever my utmost gratitude and respect]
I'm far from bringing anything new to the table here, but to Aziraphale, Crowley should NOT have fallen in the first place. Because of how nice he is. Crowley IS an angel, to him. In fact, I'll go even further by stating that, to Aziraphale,
Crowley is more of an Angel than ANY Angel in the "Main Office."
Let's present our other contestants, shall we?
When he ruled, Gabriel was an absolute a** and had an ego the size of, idk, at least A DOZEN GALAXIES. He made Aziraphale feel like... well... poop most of the time they interacted.
That is why, in S2 when Gabriel/Jim tells him "I love you", Aziraphale, even being and considering himself a "creature of love", happens to be utterly unable to either reciprocate or take the compliment. At this moment, later enhanced when he reminds himself of the Job case, he realizes he is able to feel, if not hatred, NOT love NOR admiration for somebody he should somewhat consider a role model.
That is very important for Aziraphale's present and future character development, especially considering Gabriel/Jim's own fate, so please keep that in mind.
Michael? Oh God, Same if not worse: too condescending and ambitious in the wrong way to inspire anything nice to anybody.
Sandalphon just does what they are told but can totally throw a punch if necessary.
Uriel is mostly cold, occasionally cruel, and can also be physically threatening.
[I love the actress, though. Gloria Obianyo deserves a Ph.D. in Resting Bitch Facing for her performance in Good Omens alone and I'm here for it.]
S2 Saraqael seems to be more layered but has also been hurtful to Aziraphale (especially when she ironized that he couldn't possibly be the 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle caster).
Overall, S1 Aziraphale refers to the "Main Office" Angels as "BAD ANGELS!" after their hostile encounter. We could see from his face he would have wanted to use harsher words but couldn't get past his forgiving, decent nature.
Before we talk any furfur-ther [Am I proud of this so-called pun? A-BSOLUTELEH 😎🤭], let's add a really important stone/layer to our favorite Angel's thinking: to him, it is simple maths:
GOOD = RIGHT, BAD = WRONG
And let's save it for later, shall we?
[Killgrave dear is just here to remind you you can take a break anytime to drink a glass of Talisker if you'd like, or, more so, if HE'd like. Also because that character is THE best David Tennant role on television - 10th Doctor being the worthy third, I let you guess which character is our second now - and I might have wanted to use this gif just to be able to say that, who knows? *whispers* Mysssteryyyy...]
Anyway.
To a being like Aziraphale, who mostly thinks in dichotomy, being an Angel requires one main requirement: being GOOD.
[Buy a farrrrrm and be good! Not just "pretendy" good but. properly. GOOD! - NO, I couldn't find the gif and YES, I'm mad about it, but since I'm also unable to make one myself, I'll just shut it.]
That is why he refers to the Main Office Archangels as simply being BAD.
At that moment, they had been mean to him, threatening, and, by doing so, they became somewhat active in Hell's Armageddon project. Making them "bad" angels, but, more so:
Bad at BEING Angels.
Aziraphale, on the other hand, is, at heart, the penultimate goody-two-shoes: he does feel bad about himself whenever he does something bad/wrong such as lying (it has started to change, and I'll nuance that statement another time, but you get the grip).
He is constantly scared he might fall whenever he somewhat defies God's will or the idea he built in his head of what an Angel should be(have).
But have you paid attention to how his "Angelmates" NEVER seem to CARE about their own displays of, let's say "unconventional characteristics" for what should be the highest "Representatives of the sole concept of Good"?
Have you ever seen Gabriel or Michael being self-conscious about their narcissism and condescending tendencies? Uriel about their coldness? Saraqael about their sarcastic nature? Any of them about their use of violence? Of course not! They seem to be perfectly fine with it!
They own their characteristics, good AND bad.
Aziraphale does not.
Aziraphale is... soft. Even if he, at times, expresses regrets to be just that, he also applies it to his Angelic nature.
You know who else is soft?
Crowley.
Crowley is soft because he cannot kill children and takes it upon himself to LITERALLY DEFY BOTH GOD AND SATAN'S WILL TO SAVE SAID CHILDREN, including two annoying ones [especially the one who DARED to hit on Aziraphale but that is a topic for another day]
[MASSIVE Bildad the Shuhite fangirl here, consider yourselves warned.]
Crowley is soft because he cannot even kill GOATS.
Defying both God's and Satan's will to save kids? Yeah, eventually, okay.
Defying God's and Satan's will to save goats? Man, that's so effingly. more. powerful.
[Oh, look! A bird flying, normal thingy, nothing to see here, buh-bye!]
Crowley is soft because he proposes/"tempts" Aziraphale to "eat a spot of lunch", especially whenever his Angel experiences stress.
We have barely seen him eat, which might indicate he does not have such a strong taste for it personally. He only goes to the Ritz to enjoy Aziraphale's company and to watch him happily eat scrumptious, comforting foods.
[Okay, also because it morphed into a proper kink at some point but that is NOT today's subject, so stop trying to make me deviate from it! 😣]
Oh, and, before you bring that up, no, the alcohol motive is not relevant since he can, in all probability have a glass of Talisker in ANY sort of pub/restaurant in London.
[As a proper peated whisky lover who happens to be French, let me tell you this is NOT the case in my country and I'm super duper jealous of you, lads.]
Crowley is soft because he takes care of both Gabriel and Aziraphale's bookshop, even if it is clear he loathes the first and expressingly said he would not be a bookseller "even at gunpoint."
And, by "taking care of", know that I MEAN IT: he kept an eye on Jim, didn't wake him up when he heard him snore, answered any question he had, no matter how seemingly stupid they were [Even if Crowley, of all beings, cannot be anything but a raging "There is no stupid question, only stupid answers" representative] and offered him hot cocoa. As for the Booksho-P[uhhhhh *exhales in asthma*], he attempted to repair Jim's messy ordering twice and meticulously rearranged the place after ✨the Ball��
[What do you mean, "he also Killgraved him into jumping out of the window?" HE ALSO STOPPED HIM FROM DOING SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. #NotBiasedInTheSlghtestIndividual]
Crowley is soft because he shares his Bentley with Aziraphale. Which is a VERY. BIG. DEAL. considering it was, at the time, HIS LAST ONE AND ONLY PRIZED POSSESSION.
[Should I mention that the Bentley FALLS IN LOVE with Aziraphale or is debating on whether or not that falls into the Oedipian complex territory off-topic? Yes, I'll see myself out.]
Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale on countless occasions, even though, 99% of the time, that is pretty much unnecessary.
For real, guys: if Aziraphale had been discorporated in the course of his 6000+ years on Earth at any other given moment BUT on the eve of THE WAR with a capital "W", nobody in Heaven would have flinched.
[I do have a theory, though: maybe being re-incorporated takes quite a long time, which would have meant too many years apart from each other, hence the growing Damsel in Distress kink in Aziraphale, idk THAT IS NOT TODAY's SUBJECT, OKAY?!]
Also, Crowley is soft because "doing that makes him so happy".
Do you know who is supposedly "so happy" to save living things, aka GOD'S CREATIONS? Angels.
Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale even when it is ACTUALLY ENDANGERING for both of them
He risked: his life, his pretty comfortable position "he carved out for himself", both his Earthy and Infernal homes sort of speak, AND EVEN HIS CAR to save his Angel's bottom/help him out in the direst situations (like stopping time to stop SATAN HIMSELF.)
[Also his past/present/future existence altogether, but the Bentley is more important, as I'm sure we'll all agree.]
[That is a Class A Protective/Helpful Husband, right there.]
Crowley is soft because he encourages Aziraphale to follow his passion for ✨prestidigitation✨
Even though he is pretty... amateurish at it. Not only does he encourage him, but he also HELPS him when he accepts to be his dashing assistant on stage.
[Yes, he does tell S1 Aziraphale to stop doing magic because he "has no idea how demeaning that is" but I'm pretty sure it was BECAUSE of S2 1941's events. Also, #WeStan1941Crowley here.]
Crowley is soft because he works pretty hard to make two humans he barely knows fall in love.
Yes, he also does it to cover his and Aziraphale's 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle lie BUT don't tell me his amazed expression when he thought he was about to witness Nina and Maggie actually falling for each other was not the purest, sincerest of all.
Finally, even if I could come up with more examples,
Crowley is soft because he saved Aziraphale's books JUST because he KNEW and CARED that Aziraphale CARED about said books.
That also, in Michael Sheen's very own opinion [as stated by Neil Gaiman in S1 GO DVD commentary], shared by many fans, and myself very much included, marks the moment
Aziraphale falls in love with Crowley.
[I DARE you to tell me THIS is NOT THE LOOK OF LOVE PERSONIFIED, go on, fight meh.]
So. WHY did it happen at that moment in particular? Well, because, first of all:
As a proper Jane Austen fan, Aziraphale is a slow burner.
Also, to him, an actual Angel, love is everywhere, so differentiating one love from another might be more difficult for somebody who can feel it whether or not it is even their own.
BUT [have you started getting used to my "but"s yet or should I harass you some more?] Let's go back in time to see how every previous encounter (that we know of) led to that pinnacle, shall we?
[Oh and, YES, this sort of essay will be long, and NO, I had no idea how much it would be when I started writing it, and still haven't, tbh 🤷♀️]
During part 2, we will also dive a little bit deeper into what Good Omens is all about.
[Yeah... I figured we would all need a break at this point.]
More on that later, then!
Hope I kept your interest at a reasonable peak. See you soon, Angels ❤
Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇
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#Ineffable Husbands#Good Omens analysis#Good Omens#Good Omens S2#Aziraphale in love#Good Omens theory#Aziraphale#Crowley#Aziracrow#Effable the Ineffable#Philosophy#Good Omens is a philosophical essay disguised as comedic/satyric/romantic Fiction and I am here to prove it#A maniac woke up one morning and decided to overanalyze everything about her current favorite thing#even though that will not help her control her hyperfixation in the slightest#also too many hashtags but you know I have issues already
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I don't know if you're still doing the ask game, but how about 1, 22, and 25? For Jason, and Steph too if you're up for it :D
--Cologona
Because I could still find it: yes! Still doing this ask game :3 Sorry it took so long to answer!
1) Why do you like or dislike this character?
I spent like seventy years attempting to find the post with this meme on it so I could give credit lmao, but I could not for the life of me, so uh, just know that I'm remaking this thing from memory I guess???
Jason is the bee in my bonnet, the rock in my shoe, and I am chewing on him forever and ever - meanwhile I will enjoy pretty much any comic about Steph simply because I love watching her do her thing :3
But to go into more detail I really enjoy Steph's narration style and the way she navigates the world. She feels very refreshingly street level and hopeful. Also as someone who grew up as the only "girl" (trans man but egg) in my martial arts class which was taught by a detective with a very drill sargent/tough-love approach to teaching and got an extra helping of PTSD as a result... watching her struggle, get dismissed bc of her gender, and go on to become a great hero despite Batman and his bullshit feels really fucking good. Def love Batgirl 2009
Jason on the other hand is just so deliciously messy. He's hurt a lot of people, but at the same time his anger is super justified! He's intimately familiar with violence in a way that I think makes him unable to conceptualize trust and gauge what an 'appropriate' response is. There's been several times where he's expressed the idea that serious violence by him against others is just normal and forgivable and not a big deal. There's something so compelling to me about that bc I think he really does see it that way, and it comes from a place of him being extremely used to receiving violence and being expected to forgive and not hold it against them. That wall of text in the meme picture is a tiny fraction of one of my essays on him. He's got so many fascinating layers and I love peeling him apart and putting him back together like a robot performing surgery on a grape.
Sometime after I finish Chained, I really want to write Four and Twenty Blackbirds, which is a fic concept I've had for ages now that puts them together in a lesbian/gay man queer relationship. The premise is that somehow or other Steph comes back to Gotham secretly/early and Jason is the first one to find her and they end up building a weird organized crime/community support organization called The Blackbirds.
Not sure on the timeline. Maybe it'll start before Under the Red Hood? Maybe after a modified Hush plotline?? In any case: Jason offers to preform High Vengeance against Black Mask either for or with her. She does not want him killed! She would feel like that went completely against everything she died for. However, she does want that fucker taken down, and is touched that Jason clearly genuinely cares. Also I'm going to have Jason assume without question that she is fully competent and his equal. Unlike every other vigilante in town, she will never have to prove herself to him. So anyways she tells him that yeah, she wants her revenge, but it's gonna happen her way, and the plot moves on from there, as together they destroy and co-opt Black Mask's organization and establish a territory for themselves :3
22) If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?
Unless given a reading suggestion by someone else, I exclusively read JayTim fanfiction, which heavily skews what I look for and see in fic. I'm also pretty damned picky lol I write much more fic than I read these days
Even the most basic, stripped down version of Stephanie's core concepts and background ought to be enough to conclude that she would have very complex feelings about both Jason and Tim and them dating each other. She had a supervillain father and a character arc about learning to value the lives of even her worst enemies. Now her ex is dating a guy who had a henchman father and the same character arc in reverse, a guy who specifically targeted her killer in order to get back at the mentor who bears some responsibility for both her death and his own. They are so uniquely poised to understand each other from across this fascinating chasm, both in terms of approaches to vigilantism and dating Tim. You could not ask for a more fertile storytelling ground, regardless of if you want her to be supportive or not.
So yeah, for Stephanie I like it when she has a personality outside of cheerleading Tim while being vaguely sweet and quirky.
The bar is in Hell here folks, and out of the hundreds of fanfics I've read I've only ever seen it cleared twice. And that's only if we include my own goddamned writing. This goes beyond normal fandom simplification, especially when you factor in that Cass, famously against all killing Cass, gets similarly denuded of all internal motives and qualities in favor of being (sometimes literally) wordlessly supportive for no apparent reason, while in those same fics the male characters get to have opinions and internal viewpoints. JayTim nation, I am praying for us to learn how to write women, truly.
Now on to Jason!
I think of Jason as someone who is intense in every facet of himself. He can be cruel and mistrustful or tender and romantic, but no matter what he is I want him to be a little unhinged with it, a little too deep, a little too incapable of not giving a fuck. I want this man lost in the sauce, whatever that sauce may be.
I dislike him being overly apologetic, which practically translates to me disliking most fics in which he is apologetic at all lol I do think he would come to regret some of his actions, but I tend to think those would be different actions than the ones he's usually depicted apologizing for. For instance, I can absolutely see him apologizing to a victim of the Joker for not killing him when he got the chance, but I don't really think he'd have the framework to consider his fights with Tim to have been all that far out of line.
25) What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
Ohhhhhhh boy that was fuckin ages ago??? I'm not honestly sure I remember, though I do know that I read JayTim fanfics before anything else that involved these characters, so it had to have been based on that.
...Gah, I don't even remember how I found this ship lol! I mean I started with Boostle?? Maybe JayTim was in the background somewhere of one of those fics? idk
I suppose my first impressions were that Jason was a Big Mood deeply traumatized and lashing out bc of that, and Stephanie was gir waffles XD random rawr means I love you in dinosaur.
Anyhow, thank you very much for the ask @cologona! As per usual with these things I hope it was a fun read and you have a good day and all that jazz :3
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AMERICANA/INDIE LYRIC MEMES: “Foxlore - Part 1” The Crane Wives 🐺🐺 ↳ Please feel freeto tweak them etc.
NOTHING AT ALL:
“Happy is the man who wants for nothing.” “Happy is the liar.” “Happiness is itself desire, so long as the fire getting weak” “Do you ever want nothing at all?” “Heart broken men long to feel nothing” “Do you ever feel nothing at all?” “I would not wish that on you” “It sure lends a hand, getting measured in the sweeter parts of life”
I TALK IN MY SLEEP:
“I talk in my sleep.” “You are dreaming dreams that have not a thing to do with me.” “I talk in my sleep when my demons won't let me be.” “They twist the things I say.” “The room, it echoes clear with words we choose not to hear.” “I will finally say that I am not okay.”
DOWN THE RIVER:
“I've been wishing that you'd prove me wrong.” “But you've got no reason to.” “One door closing means another one opens unto some unsuspecting fool.” “Sure, you can forget about all the things you've done.” “But what about the rest of us?” “High-tail it when it gets to be too much.” “Sell us down the river.” “You were never the one to suffer.” “The dust never settles when you're around.” “Too many people with your name top of their lists.” “Now, tell me, when you start again, where will you house your skeletons?”
RIBS:
“No one gave up a rib for me and mine.” “My heart did expose to the elements.” “Oh, my savage empire.” “How lucky we are.” “Never to be moved by the words of a liar.” “The dark doesn't frighten me, I chose to close my eyes.” “It is mine, it is mine.” “The dark doesn't frighten me, I chose to let it thrive.” “Little girl, don't let them sell you any armour.” “Handed down a shield for your tender parts.” “Oh, my precious child, how lucky you are.”
CAN'T GO BACK:
“It's time to learn to be more forgiving of yourself.” “Those mistakes you made, you've gotta try to take, the lessons away from them.” “Leave the rest behind.” “Regret, put it out, put it out of your mind.” “All the self-loathing in the world won't change a thing.” “You can't go back, darling.” “The time has come for moving on.” “You can't be always trying to dig up what you've already buried.” “You've got to carry on.” “It's not fair.” “When have you ever known the world to be a fair place?” “All things end and all things change.” “You'll look back and laugh someday.” “Or at least you'll learn to be okay.”
CURSES:
“There's a fire in my brain, and I'm burning up.” “Keep running for the sink, but the well is dry.” “Every word I say is kindling.” “Won't you stay with me, my darling, when my walls start burning down.” “This house says my name like an elegy.” “Echoing where my ghosts all used to be.” “There's still cobwebs in the corners.” “Won't you stay with me, my darling, when this house don't feel like home?” “The devil's after both of us.” “Make a mercy out of me.” “This tired old machine is a-rumbling.” “Singing songs to the secrets behind my eye.” “All my aching bones are trembling.” “Won't you stay with me, my darling, when the war starts in my heart?”
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Trigun Maximum 8 Part 1
Emotional destruction Vol.2. There is more to come!
Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5
How… how has Nightow the style of 80s shoujo manga down to a T? I love it.
I didn’t see this at first, BUT KNIVES IS HOLDING A KNIFE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
01: Invasion
Of course, the Golden Gate-like-Bridge needs to be destroyed to show that the attack has begun. While the ark looks cool and all, it doesn’t really looks like something that can stay in the air. (really, Knives? Tell me how you plan to let the people on the ark live after you do the genocide. Self Absorbed bastard. This is your ark, for you alone.)
Yes, take even more agency from him.
Having his whole body weight on one point, the connector must hurt so much right now. I am sure it feels like it gets slowly torn out.
Legato could make a fortune by being a sport instructor. Just make me move! I pay you!
I wanna slap him so badly. Seriously. THANKS TO VASH?! He is running around trying to help them as much as he can!
KNIVES! YOU ARE THE REASON THAT YOUR SISTERS ARE ON THIS PLANET AT ALL! TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT YOUR SIN OF ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THE SISTERS THAT WERE ON THE 802 SHIPS. YOU DID NOT KNOW THAT YOUR FUCKING HAIR TURNS DARK WHEN YOU START TO DECAY! THE FIRST LAST RUN YOU SAW WAS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO! TELL ME HOW MANY SISTERS YOU HAVE SEEN DIE, AGAIN?! You had 150 years to learn about this! 150 years and you failed to do so. Your sisters and their wellbeing aren’t that important to you, buddy. Don’t use them to give yourself validity. And don’t you dare to use Tesla again!
FUCKING FINALLY! I NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN CAPSLOCK TO MAKE MY RAGE ABOUT KNIVES’ DENIAL KNOWN!
Oh, tsundere Legato time. And Knives does not stop him. Does Knives truly not understand that Legato is starting to act not only on his own but against Knives’ stated interests?
At first I thought this was a moment of peace for Wolfwood that boils down to him finding his determination. But in hindsight, this is him knowing he is starting to get crushed between the rock and the hard place. He is waiting to act, he cannot act, even though most gruesome things are happening all around him and he is part of it. (Insert the: "Kitten, I'll be honest. Daddy is about to kill himself"-meme)
Who else thought about Carl? “That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.” Knives, that kills people!
*snorts* Yeah, because you have had such a presence in the story til now. Tell me again, how lawful the world is. I'll wait. Yeah, at the bar of that nice granny with the guy that was nearly lynched with his truly innocent bestie.
I forgot about that. I forgot that Wolfwood is used to kill in the cities. I made a pained squeaky noise when I saw them. Someone shut Chapel up and hug Wolfwood!
Wolfwood’s past pulls him down. His training and way of life goes so strongly against his morals. And Chapel knows exactly how to use it to hurt Wolfwood.
But Wolfwood has already changed so much during the story. From the start, while he put his own life first, he never killed with any animosity, the didn't torture people. By following Vash’ (pretty selfdestructive) ruling, he found a way of going forward that fits his morals so much more. He cares about life and especially the lives of others. His responsibilities still stand, that’s why he is still able to kill, but this Wolfwood here is very far from the pupil Chapel had true power over.
Can someone shut this bitch up, please?
Chapel is a manipulator. He knows his “pupils” and knows how to put them down. He doesn’t plan to take Wolfwood in again. He just wants to hurt him. He wants revenge for Wolfwood acting out, for Wolfwood deserting the Eye of Michael's teachings. But this is a struggle for power over Wolfwood, too. Livio is a much better pupil in his eyes, since Chapel seemingly erased his character and wants successfully.
The antithesis of the blank ticket. Your past binds you down. You cannot start anew. Just give in and accept your given place in the world. It is Wolfwood's way of thinking, too. No wonder he hurts so much. Chapel’s teachings dug deep into him.
Wolfwood realises how deeply Chapel has dug his claws into Livio. That’s why he tries to force Chapel to make Livio stop and not Livio himself. But he has no power in this situation here. Chapel has the power since he has power over Livio. And, damn, he uses it to hurt Wolfwood in revenge. Wolfwood is desperately looking for a way out, but he cannot find one.
His sisters want him to stop, too. Not that he listens.
Vash is still hateful of himself for attacking Rem. He never stopped. Even working through his anger at Rem... The anger was replaced with selfhatred and ever since then he has been spiraling.
But the thought about people not changing… They talk about humanity, but isn’t it about Knives, too? I highly doubt that Knives can change. Everyone is able to, but not everyone chooses to do so. Knives cannot reflect upon what he has done, because then he himself and humanity wouldn’t be that different. Both twins are so good in seeing things just as black and white. Damn all of humanity or all of humanity is good, instead of what it truly is, grey.
OF COURSE HE SAID TESLA! This is so much not about Tesla. Poor girl is just a pawn for Knives, like everyone else. He was such a sensitive kid and now he cannot even realise his own true feelings, much less recognise feelings in other people. He is living a delusion.
It makes Knives an interesting villain, though. I like villains that you can somewhat empathise with. Every last one of us can end like him (without the outright genocide). He is a warning and he is not redeemable, however much I feel for him.
Edit: Upon rereading my last paragraph can be so misinterpreted. What I meant with 'without the outright genocide' was not that neither of us can be easily radicalised and be part of a genocide by either inaction, outright ignoring it or even be an active part of it. My country's history is a glowing negative example of it. I literally meant that we cannot be a fucking warship.
Ugh, yes, Vash is completely right.
But look at you, Vash. You are a bottle under so much pressure, too. You drinking away your pain does not erase it. You know the source, but you never started to deal with it at all. Why does the stuff you preach never reach you yourself?
But Knives turns away from Vash, again and again. Knives cannot open himself up to Vash. Anger and hate are feelings that are so much better than the vulnerable hurt and fear. Seriously, Vash, how long til it is enough?
“Then we will be even.” No, not really. The people who have hurt Knives are gone. There is no balance to be redone. Knives’ “even” means that the scales are completely destroyed and only he remains. Knives pumps out new victims of violence daily, the only words that are spoken are “Hate creates more hate, violence creates more violence.” Knives has been gone up in his crusade since the Great Fall. Everything after that was him actively searching for and creating more and more reasons to justify him causing the Great Fall and more importantly, killing Rem.
02: Silent Ruin
I shall save our imprisoned sisters! By imprisoning them in MY BODY! A much better idea! Knives does not care about them. Everyone has to agree with him. There is no group, there is no peace, there is only Knives. And Knives can only stop if only Knives remains. If he successfully erases humanity, then he will turn on his sisters, he will turn (more) on Vash.
I have to agree with one thing from Chapel. He taught Wolfwood really better than to let someone get away… Someone like Chapel… Just saying.
Wolfwood tries his best to protect his home. It is never enough, the odds are so against him. How must that feel? That you give your all, you put yourself between something that evil and children and it is not enough. Remembering Wolfwood’s second nightmare, he killed Chapel to protect the orphanage from Chapel. Maybe Wolfwood found out about the continued usage by Chapel just then.
“So many uses for the good-natured.” I don’t think Wolfwood gets that Chapel means him, too. Wolfwood has been used and abused by him. He is a victim. And he cannot see it. He only sees the things he has done, not that he literally had no choice there. And he lets all the sins fall back to him, making him completely monstrous in his own eyes.
Chapel is so sure that his grip on Livio is complete and I so hope that Wolfwood can prove him wrong.
There is something to be said about the arm sticking up into the air like the ship from the Great Fall. Even the angle is the same. This is something like the Second Fall.
Just a reminder that Wolfwood is on the ship, unable to do anything to stop this, waiting and hoping for something to happen so he can act. And it is eating him alive. He is isolated and completely alone. If he rebels now, his life would be not only forfeited, but he would also be unable to help when… if… the time comes. He has to kill in Knives’ name while he waits all his morals and pain aside. The deaths would happen anyway. But that doesn’t change Wolfwood from hating himself for doing so. Vash is at least actively fighting Legato, Wolfwood suffers a different kind of torture. And I am not gonna lie, I'd prefer to be in Vash' position instead of Wolfwood's.
So, like after the Great Fall. How many people died after the initial crash due to hunger, infighting and exposure? Has the population since then grown? Or is it still stagnating?
INSURANCE WOMEN! AHHHHHHHH!
03: Counterattack!!!
I just love Meryl and Milly as intelligence, checking out the situation in the different cities and bringing the info to the people who are able to do something.
I love the proactiveness, I love their care, I love their bravery.
Meryl looks so different. She has lost her spunk, her spark. She looks so much more downtrodden and depressed. Softer and hurt, really.
I love our brat Brad. Like Meryl and Milly, he is a good person who tries to help the way he can. He couldn’t go out, til now, because his expertise was needed, but he is ready to go at the frontlines.
It looks like none of them know what happened to Vash. The last people of the group who have seen him are Meryl and Milly and that was when he was driven out of the city.
FINALLY SHE TELLS SOMEONE!
And I didn’t get that Meryl knows everything… She saw more than Hoppered, but it looked like everything since Vash was adulty, but maybe Nightow retconned that one.
I have complicated feelings about this. Meryl wanted to get to know Vash and know of his enigmatic past. But narratively, Vash and she didn’t really do anything to get there. It was an accident. Vash didn’t need to change and open up to share this. And… that is an ongoing flaw of him, a flaw that has already cost him so much and we don’t see it changing. Vash not only gets her total empathy without opening up, he now gets it from all of Home (or at least the command). That said, I like that we see it affecting Meryl. She is traumatised, rightfully so. She is working through it either completely alone or only with Milly. For all the empathy Vash deserves for his life, he doesn’t really earn it by connecting to others. Others connect in his stead for him. While Meryl suffers for it alone, Vash profits from it. This is an ongoing pattern, not only with Meryl. With Wolfwood, too. How often did Wolfwood persist and run after Vash to keep on talking, while Vash avoided? And it irks me more and more, the further the volumes go. Vash is a self made martyr, but it is the people that care about him that pay most of the price. Vash needs an Oh-Moment, but I don’t trust that even that would be enough.
Oh. Vash fought Knives before! Until now it looked like July was his first “real” fight with Knives, but he had altercations before. I would love to know more about those, because from what we saw in July and Jeneora Rock, Vash had so much trouble confronting Knives. Vash’ conflict avoidance, especially with Knives, is such a big part of him. He actively goes against Wolfwood’s advice to check out the erased towns more than once. We know that Vash has a real inner conflict going on about Knives, that he says he wants to kill him but his actions say otherwise. Did no one zoom in on that in the past? Or wasn’t it there then?
Young Luida!
Is he fighting on his own? Maybe, maybe not. But I love that the humans are now empowered enough to go and help Vash and don’t leave it to him. It doesn’t look like they wanted to in the past, either, but Vash left them no choice. Now Vash needs them, even if they don’t know how much.
No, Luida! Don’t join the selfhate club! What counts is your actions and not your thoughts. And you are the least of a coward. You lead a fucking company. Same for you, Meryl! You stood by Vash’ side. Yes, you didn’t completely understand the danger you were in, but may I remind you of Keele? Please don’t let yourself get pulled down by those martyrs. You do enough and are strong enough.
And next to everyone is like that. People don’t want conflict, they don’t want to risk being hurt or worse killed. They don’t want their loved ones to die. So if someone else is able to bear all the responsibility and pain, they feel relief. But that often leads to people like Vash and even more like Wolfwood. People who have to bear the gross alone. But what counts is action. And Meryl is going out into a warzone, trying to help and get info, Luida is leading a resistance.
Being a leader is such a difficult position. On the one hand you are safe from the frontlines, but everyone's life is on your shoulders. Your mistakes add up and your victories are easily forgotten. It is so easy to see leaders as highpaid CEOs that cash in while the workers suffer. Luida is not one of those and I hope she does not stick to that fallacy.
The plants share their memory. Vash has been shown to connect to his sisters via his mind, why wouldn’t his sisters be unable to do it, too? And this is a sign, this is a cry for Knives to stop. His sisters do not want this. They could show him hurtful things, but instead they show him humans appreciating them. What is important for me in that scene is that it is not only a child asking questions, it is a mother teaching the child ageappropriately about the plants, showing her own gratitude to the plant in question and it then gets reflected in the husband, too. The plants care for humans, they want to help. (Little siderant about angels. Angels are so much like machines. They exist for their godgiven purpose and are satisfied with this. They do not wish for more. Dependent plants seem more and more like angels, especially with Nightow saying they see humanity as their god. Independent plants, like humans, have no ingrained purpose and maybe part of the twin’s struggle comes from this. They don’t know their purpose, but they feel like they need one. Nice reflection of the modern human.)
Knives is visibly upset by his sister’s memory. Of course, since it goes against what he preaches. It shakes his resolve. Vash seems shaken, too. I cannot really put his expression there. Well, he is most likely in pain and enduring Legato. But beyond that… who knows.
I am not sure how to interpret these panels. Especially with it ending on Wolfwood smoking, what we have seen before is him enduring and waiting, too. Could it be that the dream of the plants is on par with Vash and Wolfwood, with them enduring and waiting for their time to act to give balance back to humanity and plants? Or is it a foreshadowing that those two will help the plants achieve this balance?
COUNTERATTACK! THE TIME OF WAITING IS OVER! Yes, Knives… you are so completely rational, standing at the front of your battleship, laughing maniacally.
Plant memories. Good ones. Even the researcher with the cross that got halved by Knives is part of it. His sisters see the good in humans, how they try and they appreciate it. Moreso, they actively use these memories on Knives to stop him, to make him listen.
Even here. Brad doesn’t want to attack the innocent plants. But Knives uses them as shield. Brad has to do this to get through to Knives, to have any hope of success. And again, a struggle that is caused by Knives himself that in the end hurts mainly his sisters, while he is unaffected.
And this is what the regular panels of Wolfwood smoking boiled down to. He waited for a time to act.
It looks creepy and quiet, like a predator inching in on his prey, looming over it in a real display of power difference. An omen of death and judgement. But Wolfwood also looks like a broken man, a dead man walking at the same time. Like I said, Wolfwood has been through his own torture for seven months and I truly believe that it has left massive scars in him.
#trigun bookclub#trigunbookclub#trigun#Trimax 8.1#god I hate chapel so much#the more the volumes go on the more I feel for Wolfwood#give this guy a rest#and Meryl#the first time reading I didn't like her#now I wanna protecc#trigun maximum#trigun rant#zard rant
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