#do I still have to work today? yes.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'm. nearly finished the cosmetic contest video. after...almost 13 hours of non-stop editing...
there is not even any respite from this madness in my immediate future...as corydalis' birthday is technically next week OTL
#dbd#thoughts about media#do I still have to work today? yes.#am I getting paid enough to suffer more after not sleeping? no.#but this god-damned dental surgery isn't going to pay for itself OTLLLL#anyway. I just have to do a few minor things and the video is finished. it's like. 6:30 am tho. and I need at least a LITTLE sleep.#I really hope people will dig the skin. I cannot stress enough that days upon days of work went into it.#It's still not the most insane thing I've drawn of hux. no- that I still haven't posted either.#but it's probably second place honestly.#as for corydalis. whew yeah. the 22nd will be one year since I first played bg3.#it's funny because he means so fucking much to me yet I haven't really shared art of him at all.#I have art of him made. but he's getting something special for his birthday.#a solo piece. I mean. like hux and donnie have gotten in the past.#he deserves it for reviving my enjoyment of making OCs.#and-- of course-- for being faerun's coolest And hottest dad.
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
everything is the same except Odile is the one looping
oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*
Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!
Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):
hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops
toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)
#isat#odile loops au#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat odile#odile timeloop au#congrats on unleashing the hell gates of odile looping au!!! I've thought about it a bunch!!!!!#contexts:#candy is a reference to sasasap i think. not sure if odile likes candy though#i think it'd be funny if odile struggled with understanding how shields work for a bit. she spends several loops asking mirabelle for help#I think odile would actually spend more time in the loops once she's sure she can just loop again. They're not actually in a rush after all#and she might as well maximize her loops#under cut:#she leaves all of her excess books with loop. Loop has another thing to do while waiting#yes loop is still you know who in this one#toxic doomed yuri is just very self indulgent teehee thanks discord folks#not depicted: I also think that the more loops she does the more she views them as experiments#with variables to control and test#that's where she starts falling off the deep end and start testing stuff like. not warning siffrin about the rock#(instantly regrets it though. loops back the first time she tries)#day 26 today?#A big one! Have funnn#you can tell some of these are really old by the different colored background lmfao#isat au
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
When I talk about something bad I've experienced, Baked In to my experience as A Woman, I am not "making my little cousins feel like shit for being women", because I am talking in a space with, allegedly, adults. I am not bringing my problems to children in the first place. That said, I don't HAVE to make my baby cousin feel bad, because she's already experienced sexual harassment in her life, and she's only 8, and doesn't even understand what any of it means yet. And everyone in her family can try to instill confidence in her, and never talk about our bodies in a negative way. But she can still feel like she's too chubby, because she still goes to school, and talks to other kids and their parents, and still sees ads, and still watches tv. We can be positive, but we can't fix the root of the problem. And I don't HAVE to tell trans women that "pain is a rite of passage", because that's not a Rule being enforced (by me), because I've already sat and listened to my friend complain about constantly shaving as a Baseline necessity and how it hurts her skin and she has to put makeup onto fresh cuts on her face because going out without a full face of properly feminine makeup would make her life worse, and being anything less than thin and lithe makes her "less feminine", and ALL the things that can make her "more feminine" are behind a paywall. And I can try to make her feel better, and I can hear her experiencing the tenfold version of problems I relate to, but I can't fix the root cause of her problems by just telling her not to complain. Forcing happiness as a core personality trait for women is not the Girlboss Feminist move that you think it is, and no amount of gender euphoria in the world will make you immune to systemic oppression.
#sergle.txt#you cunts learned the term 'toxic positivity' years ago and forgot it instantly#putting a bandaid on a fuckin severed leg is what it is#do i wish i wasn't a woman? no#do i feel pretty in a dress? yes#have i suffered? OH MY GOD YES#do i think any woman alive today has lived without suffering in these ways? NO.#unless she is being raised by wolves. in which case. good for her.#again I am still flabbergasted by that post having used trans woman as a last ditch effort scapegoat.#like. shocked. as if ANY trans girl's problems are because other women complain abt the way they're treated.#she's got her own problems bitch!! and they are directly correlated to my problems!!#it's like. it's infantilizing almost. the way the dickheads in that post went from ''kids'' to ''trans women''.#adult women who know how gender works.#condescending.
415 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)
horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)
#something something all three of them have their fates determined by an outside force#ermmmm but horror doesn't- yeah he does. what aliza does decides EVERYTHING for horror and horrortale#just because its not direct like dust or killer doesn't mean theyre all subject to the same community x3#PARALLELS MTT PARALLELS FOR THE 500TH TIME THEY HAVE SOOOO MANY PARALLELS OHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDD#mtt going to visit horrortale would just be dust eying aliza (out of paranoia. he knows shes a good kid)#and then killer knowing in his head that the poor kid aliza that horror weirdly seems to like doesn't have control over her actions#she doesn't know horror doesn't know nobody knows except killer. is that a bit sad?#theyre all living in the dark unaware of the reality of their world. i mean thats how its meant to be after all thats what the players want#but....... it would be tempting to tell horror...... hehehehehe- and then he's interrupted by horror and dust#(theyre trying to get killer to eat papyrus's spaghetti in their place. he's the only one that can stomach it even though there's no human)#mtt i love thee SOOOOO much. theyre back in horrortale for the holidays ✨✨ coming back to visit the family ✨✨ WHAT horror's visiting.......#not dust or killer of course. this isnt their world noooope thats not papyrus. but that doesn't stop dust from having everyone like him#its just like the good old days :333 except now there's three sanses and triple the insanity :333 almost like nothing's changed!!!!!#oh killer??? yeah he's there. probably won't try taking up the sansish type of role horror and dust do but he'll find a way to get used 2 i#after all the point of this is whatever he wants it to be now ;33333 were these tags all just a reference to my mtt fic. yes. yes they were#LMAOOOO i forgot that aliza didn't fall into horrortale yet in my fic. still a fun thing to imagine tho!!!#i think it would be fun having aliza be the first of humans for horrortale to deal with that they won't instantly kill#itll be hard but really rewarding for all of them........ especially horror i believe!!! man he didnt even go through therapy but#just being away from horrortale and out doing new and FUN and NOT MURDEROUS things has done wonders for him :3#i need to get to writing smh..... winter break is the day after tomorrow (TECHNICALLY AT 2:32 PM SINCE THSYS WHEN SCHOOL ENDS SO HAHAHA)#so ill probably work on it more over break since i'll have nothing to do hehe.......#today was an amazing day for me ✨ TWO mtt angst death related hcs..... some work on my latest chapter i've yet to post..... SWAPINVERSE FAN#ARE YOU KIDDING ME MORR SWAPINVERSE ART THIS IS SOOOO AMAZING THABK YOU UNTITLED29876011111 I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS!!!!!#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Look at these!!!!!!!! Thank you again for letting me commission you for these beautiful pieces!! @badly-drawn-doflamingo 😭💕
When youve been too busy to enjoy fandom fun sometimes you have to treat yourself ✨
((Extra note for clarity: these art pieces are by @badly-drawn-doflamingo ! Not me! 💕))
#yes I’d still love him as a worm#🪱#sorry it needed to be done#badly-draw -doflamingo art#Barto#bartolomeo op#Brook#bone daddy#obligatory bone daddy tag I promised my nephew 😂#anyway everyone enjoy these as much as I have 😭😭#I WILL make time to do some art today these shit my mood through to cloud 9!! ahhh so cute#weeping like fr#don’t you just love them??#not my art#i need a tag for paid commissions#does venus’ hoard: paid commissions work? I’ll think on it#****shot my mood through the roof….#on mobile can’t fix…#RIP💀
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes I feel it’s just me and my bubble wand against the world
#I’m once again on my roof guys#it’s windy today. the air likes to make bubbles and it’s easier just stick out the wand and let the wind do all the work#I’m close to the edge. I rarely sit here but I felt like it today I can see the ocean from here. the lighthouse says hi#there are still some houses like mine who still have their Christmas lights on. I can see them from the distance. it’s nice#the moon is exactly above me tonight. the sky is not that dark yet but I can see some stars already. they shine so prettily wish u could se#I feel kinda lonely tonight but it’s okay. it doesn’t ache today#maybe it’s all the stars you know. if I can see them am I really alone? yes. but so are they so we keep each other company :)#anyway#roof talks
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
so my present for christmas this year was a pc (my first one ever!!!!!), specifcally going half an half on the payments and its running super well, just has some bits like bluetooth n wifi that need to be handled externally (wifi works semi ok bc it has the driver but not the usb it needs to properly work) since its refurbished from a super old model (they stopped in either 2013 or 2017 i dont remember off the top of my head) BUT the main reason i got this was so i could do stuff like blender and drawing and animation on it with less worries about space and functionality (blender makes my laptop flicker after a while for example) so really really looking forward to starting on things
#i feel so smart for fguring out what is going on with the drivers and stuff there was only minimal looking up i already knew most of what i#have to do yippeeee#csp is installed and upgraded to 2.0 as a little treat to me for the holidays AND im pretty sure my drawing tablet has a cd to install that#driver sooooo i dont need an internet connection too much just for the brushes but the dongles should be coming ether today or tomorrow#so im gonna be chilling with my laptop to listen to music n stuff while i work through the sketch comms i got and some of my own stuff too#getting back into the groove i love drawing so much#buuut rn im stretching my hands properly bc i was a fool and played video game on my self ban from drawing so my thumb is acting up still#at least i have disco elysium working well and can play that instead next time i do a ban since i can play that without my drawing hand#perks of being left handed i guess#where was i going with this?#right yes#i'm looking forward to trying a lot of new things in 2025 art wise#might try streaming too it looks so fun#just doodling clone armour for a first one most likely with no mic bc i dont live alone and my mother loves to call for me randomly and is#usually playing her tv shows fairly loudly
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
what annoys me recently is getting messages from bots with their stupid links.
Dude, u think I'm this dumb to click on your fake shit? They can't even write appropriately.
Fucking Hell Site here.
all bots and porn shit and gdi I can't post male nipples wthout having to bother if its okay or not.
#rant i guess#see I get just these stupid messages and I find myself in a little rage mode#on top I have stomach ache - and it's fucking snowing#my plan for the evning is canelled too now#and the vigor to scroll through my dashboard is currently also zero#still reloading my social battery from last thursday …#and today at work was like nonsense too#they almost mad me sing fucking Oh Tannenbaum#I didn't react - didn't sing#I hate this song#since I was a kid#YES I do have 2 christmas trees I like to decorate#but that doesn't mean I like to fucking sing about christmas trees#I hate to hear my voice - no thank you#evil kneevil from the Geschäftsführung to add this to the meeting#in that way they had the whole unit to make them sing#sry not sry for not being team player here
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes
#the fear tho lmao#what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue#this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone?#in an existential spiral at the moment#but honestly why do they always ask for my number#like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me#but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it#and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young#young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it#maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain#anyone younger than that#but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore#but I just needed to talk about this somewhere#because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to#customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it#idk y’all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it#anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow#and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sable pic spam bc I'm ridiculously attached to this buggy game
#never encountered this many bugs in one place before but fuck if it doesn't make it more delightful at times#personally I think Sable and teen Aloy would get along quite well even if they had entirely different experiences growing up#actually give me canon age Sable with kid Loy meeting Guard Eliisabet#yes I'm delusional why do you ask#lou plays#Sable#Sable game#fishing msy or may not be broken for me at this point rip. the last three times I tried my game just quit reacting to inputs#couldn't even enter the menu to quit out properly#and between when I saved yesterday after playing and starting up again today it just yeeted the last bit of progress#still not sure what all I lost and if I've managed to get it all back. not sure what will happen next time I play either#if I keep losing progress it may just ruin the fun a little even if I have managed to get almost all the trophies by now#anyway. 100/10 from me even if it's borderline unplayable sometimes. the rest of the time I love it to the ends of the earth#music is great. npcs are wonderful. story and lore are dope. protagonist is a relatable kiddo who you can't help but adore#(and relate to) and the hoverbike is my new child who I will cherish forever#also: the art. but that probably goes without saying. unless you don't like this style in which case I feel bad for you#bc you're missing out#but yeah. don't play unless you don't mind bugs fucking up your progress or geometry and textures going wrong at times#still think they should be working on fixing that mess but alas.. I doubt we'll get any updates of that sort#sometimes if you play too long the audio just.. leaves. as do the pick up / dialogue prompts#sometimes they don't show up even if you have only been playing a little while#some plants have dialogue prompts except they don't do anything. the bucket side quest or whatever got scrapped#but the buckets all still have pickup prompts... anyway. it's a mess. but a lovable one
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Help(less)
Summary :
Senjurou works at Douma's office, and learns to help. Senjurou works at Douma's office, and learns that he can't do anything at all. Senjurou works, and learns that closure is something only some ghosts can give. (He wants to become more like Kyoujurou, more like Douma, more like Michikatsu. Wants to be someone the dead and the living can rely on.)
>read on AO3
>AU tag
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#rengoku senjurou#kny douma#haunted hallway AU#office work#yumi writes#yes it has been 2 years since the last installment#listen sometimes the brain just. yknow#anyway i didnt feel like posting on ffn today#ill probably do it once they fix the whole#not getting email notifs thing#if they dont fix it then uh#i guess im moving to ao3 permanently :/#still gonna post viper-lizard chapters there#but yknow. it sucks is all#anyway Senjurou !! man i am making this kid suffer#douma is such a manipulative bastard#i almost tagged him as a warning lmao#still have uhhhh one ask to go#and then this route will be complete#'yumi what do you mean' >:3
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Please pray that a complicated billing situation will be sorted out and covered by my insurance. It's for an ambulance ride I had in June for a panic attack. Some of you might remember me panicking about it a few months ago when I got the statement.
#it's a giant bill and my mom's insurance which is my primary only covered a tiny portion of it#and the ambulance service tried only once to contact my secondary insurance and they never even got it#so they never covered anything#but they were never contacted#so then i made them contact each other when it was made apparent that otherwise i would owe $2020.#yes two thousand and twenty dollars#and then i was waiting for them to deal with it#and today i just received another statement still showing that they never contacted that insurance and that i owe them the money by the 30th#so i panicked a little bit#then called the insurance and they said they had just recieved the claim on the first#so then i called the ambulance service and told them so and asked if the due date of the 30th was still in place#and she said no it's on hold and the insurance lady said most likely some of it would be covered#so hopefully it will go down drastically#and man this whole situation is like.... why did i have to do all the contacting back and forth#i thought that was y'all's job#but whatever#so now i am waiting again :)#fully aware that i may still owe a large chunk of that#but it's okay bc i am starting a new job and all will be well :)))))))#right???????#all will be well??????#and it was a dang panic attack that started all this#so i feel somewhat like this is all my fault#if i had never taken that thc gummy and greened out so bad and worked myself up none of this would be happening :)#but that's not healthy for me to think#it's in the past and i truly thought i needed to go in so in that moment i was doing what i thought i needed to do to take care of myself#i should be proud of myself for that#i just wish healthcare was different in this country
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
when I was in high school there was a tendency whenever there was an attractive boy to simply fan over him. in a way that talked over everything he might say for himself and created a narrative that completely ignored, the fact in some cases, that he was really struggling—or if he was struggling, to pin all the blame on the girl he’s dating and completely ignore the thousands of other factors (no it can’t be mental illness or unaccommodated disability or systemic abuse or exploitation and if he is in an abusive relationship we won’t ever consider the factors that put him at risk for that)
and I’m not saying this fandom is like that. I get the need for privacy around some things and how in public conversations sometimes it’s a lot more respectful to stick to the positives (everyone who does that, I admire you) or even the struggles that are talked about publicly, show respect by not reading too far into them. there’s a time and place for that. but sometimes I feel like our only options are shitty and ableist gossip or totally ignoring the systemic and structural issues we know exist in something like the music industry until someone dies and then we’re looking for someone to blame. friends, there is a point where the respectful thing is to listen to what someone says and come together to make things better. and you can learn how to have that conversation respectfully. please do
#forever haunted by ‘I wasn’t always a cynic it’s just I’ve been bought and sold’#and actually this highlights my whole frustration with the conversation around mental health just about anywhere#like you tell people something sucks and they’re completely unwilling to even try to challenge the status quo in order to help#and idk. I tell myself they’re going to be fine. they’re so resilient. I’m doing all I can; I’m not on the ground there I’m at a distance#but at the same time is it not bittersweet sometimes to enjoy music born from trauma? to be at a live show knowing they shouldn’t be?#to me these stories have to be told for the reason that yes so people relate but also so we can do better for the next generation#anyway I’ve gotten deep into inxs lore lately and I can say. yes it is better for 5sos simply for the fact men can talk about emotions#but that didn’t come without a MASSIVE fight don’t you ever forget that. it’s gonna still carry shame. they’re choosing to fight that#but the sad songs we got as a result?? idk they’re the thing that turned me parasocial because there’s rarely absolutely nothing you can do#like if we’re ever gonna give them a gold star for talking about this stuff as early as sgfg til today we gotta ask ourselves to look at#larger systemic issues and stuff that we ARE a part of and while we can’t be there for them when they have a bad day. we can work on#anyway the high school example still haunts me. still drives some of what I do now. we were just kids. but most of us here aren’t anymore#and the newbrokenscene is grown up now and tbh the status quo should be TERRIFIED#so idk. at the very least sign the petition for liams law. advocate for better. address local issues of injustice and addiction etc#which in some ways I’m lucky that I get to do that in sydney so it feels connected but this is just as valuable anywhere#tbh the 2010s era of bubblegum pop and ignoring all our problems is over. you’re punk now. even katy released chained to the rhythm#thinking about the nfp I’m trying to start and how to start small. for disadvantaged kids maybe? intervening via urban design?#(don’t you ever forget 5sos WERE disadvantaged kids not even 20 years ago. that shit sticks to you no matter how much you achieve)#albums and activism#anyway it fascinates me to see how differently people do this kind of thing to each band member. like the vibe is different but still track#for this whole phenomenon like whether they’re seen as pretty or strong or cute or smth else that becomes the main thing not their words#and I say that but tumblr is pretty good overall. I just wish sometimes we could have a more active conversation before any tragedy#so gosh I’m ranting so much but PLEASE talk about this with me. I notice far too much and I can’t say any of it publicly#so occasionally I come out with a rant like this
3 notes
·
View notes