#distance between footfalls

[thursdaynights]

Camping horror stories: The forest would like to watch you pee.

10 pm. we’re shuffling ourselves to the bathroom.

Shone a headlamp into the forest to spotlight what is moving around in the dark.

Confused as to why I’m seeing glowing spots in the middle distance in front and on either side of us within the trees.

“What are all of those shiny things..?”(dummy. Himbo supreme for not realizing right away)

Pairs of something reflecting my light, 4 inches apart. 3-4 feet off the ground.

My best friend looks up and confirms

“….o h. eyes. All on us. Those are eyes and they’re all looking at us”

It was a herd of six or so deer hanging around the bathroom area bc there are trash cans there.

How espooky. 

[trulyumai]

unfit and disloyal

Pairing: Emperor Geta / Wife! Reader

Synopsis: Seeing your husband get so close with another woman, you confront him. But such an accusation of disloyalty makes anger swell up bubble beneath his skin. Until eventually it oozes out and onto you, his darling wife.

Warnings: Geta gets violent, angry.

A/N: This was highly requested, thank you all so much for the messages and comments!

A glass was thrown, shattered against the back wall of the chamber. Geta let out a surprised cry, still bent towards the ground in the quick action that fled his senses. He had expected a hug, maybe a kiss of welcome from his pretty wife.

“You idiot—you fool! You... you—!”

Another cup was already in your hands, and Geta barely made it behind a merciful beam that splayed out in the middle of the room.

“What are you doing, wife?!” Geta’s voice was hoarse with confusion as he peered from behind the pillar, his chest rising and falling from the sudden burst of chaos. He had prepared himself for an evening of peace after the long day—he had not been ready for war within his own walls. Where was his sweet wife to dote on him? To kiss and smother his face with little pecks, to hug his frame like it was the missing piece you were waiting for?

“What am I doing?" you snarled. "What am I doing?" Your hands shook with fury as dainty fingers fumbled for another object to throw. Your eyes, usually soft and full of warmth, were now blazing with a fire he had never seen before. “You dare to ask me that when I saw you with her? You let her touch you, let her throw herself on you like—like a dog in heat!”

Geta’s brow furrowed as he tried to recall how you could have come to such a conclusion. Woman? What woman? He was with you all night! The only time he wasn’t was when you had stepped away after the dessert had been devoured, kissing his cheek as you uttered a tired departure.

He meant to follow, but decided to finish his goblet first—and then it hit him. The realization sank in. The woman who had placed herself upon his knee, whispered generous actions and promises without batting an eye.

"Her? You mean the woman at the celebration?" He stepped out from behind the beam cautiously, raising his hands in surrender. A laugh already escaping him from such a deluded thought. “She meant nothing. Less than nothing. She was dealt with, pretty wife, without a second thought!”

You scoffed, laughter bitter and sharp. "Nothing? You looked like you were enjoying yourself, while I stood there, watching, like a fool. And in front of the citizens... Have you no shame, husband?" The words were spat with venom, the kind of harshness only Geta had spoken with before.

Geta’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing. “You left before you saw what happened next. I pushed her off the moment you turned away, threw her to the ground like the vermin she was for daring to disrespect you.” He took a step closer, trying to close the distance between you. “I grabbed her by the face and told her to remember her place—unless she wished to be charged with treason. Wife, trust me, I beg of you.”

Your grip faltered, and the third cup clattered to the floor. Your breathing was uneven, the anger mingling with something else now—uncertainty. “Then why didn’t you stop her sooner? Why did you let her touch you in the first place? Why bestow such a public betrayal onto me?”

Geta’s shoulders sagged. He was exhausted, emotionally worn from the day’s battles, and now here he was, fighting the one person he loved most. The shift in the air was palpable now, the sting of your words pressing further into his skin. The thought of you doubting him, even for a moment, sparked something darker within him. His eyes darkened, and his fists clenched at his sides.

“You accuse me of betrayal?” His voice, though low at first, began to rise, sharp and jagged as he stepped closer, each footfall deliberate. “You think I’d ever choose someone else over you?” The fury in his tone rattled the air between you, and his body towered over yours now, his shadow swallowing the small frame you stood in.

His breath came fast and heavy as he drew closer, his face inches from yours. “Do you know what kind of man you married? The kind who would crush anyone who dared stand between us!” His words came like thunder, reverberating against the stone walls, spit flying from his mouth in his rage. “I've killed men, burned them at the stake, slit their throats for weaker words. Yet you still sit there.. And look at me with such animosity, hm?”

Your body recoiled instinctively, shrinking away from his imposing presence. For the first time, there was fear in your eyes—fear of him. Geta’s breath hitched at the sight of you trembling beneath his gaze. He froze, his fury draining as quickly as it had flared. He blinked, his body suddenly stiff as realization set in.

He had never meant to frighten you.

“I didn’t...” He swallowed, running a hand through his hair, his jaw still clenched tight. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You stood frozen, still shaken, your breath shallow. Geta took a step back, releasing a slow breath as he fought to control himself, his fists relaxing at his sides. “Pretty wife, listen to me,” he rasped, voice now gentler, though it trembled. “I was angry. But not at you. Never at you.”

“But you said-” 

“I know.” He interrupted, already regret bit at the seams of his mind. He didn't need a reminder.

Ringed fingers reached for your cheek, gently wiping away the spit that had landed on your skin. “I would never hurt you. You know that, don’t you?” His voice was soft, desperate, as though each word were pulling him further from the edge of the abyss he had been teetering on.

You looked at him, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. “I saw you with her,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “And for a moment, I believed it. All the rumors. The lies. I believed you had chosen someone else.”

Geta’s heart clenched. He could see it now—how fragile your faith had become. He stepped closer, cupping your face with his large, calloused hands. “Never,” he breathed. “There is no one else for me. There never will be.”

You looked up at him, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Then why does it feel like I’m always competing with the world for you?”

His chest tightened, the weight of your words sinking in. “You aren’t competing. There’s no contest. I may belong to Rome, to the battlefield, to the politics of the Empire... but my heart, my soul, they belong to you.”

You searched his face for a long moment, and the anger finally faded, giving way to vulnerability. Letting out a shaky breath, you leaned into his chest, your voice small and muffled against his tunic. “I'm sorry, husband.”

Geta wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. His chin rested on top of your head as he whispered, “It's okay.” 

He breathed in your scent, sweet and intoxicating to his overburdened mind. 

“It's okay.”

[rafecameronssl4t]

Could you do reader and rafes reaction to when they found out easer is first pregnant for the force’s marriage au? LOVED the first part!!

First pregnancy || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

A/n: this fic is a 100% how i think rafe and reader would react in this situation

Warnings: mention of pregnancy, angst if there's anything else lmk

Word count: 1,457

MASTERLIST (forced marriage au masterlist)

divider by @h-aewo

You flip over the pregnancy test, your heart sinking as you see two lines. Of course. It was inevitable, given the life you’ve been cornered into. You sigh, throwing the test into the bin with a mixture of resignation and dread.

Leaning against the cool marble sink, you catch your reflection in the mirror—your eyes heavy with a sense of inevitability that’s become all too familiar. The pristine bathroom feels suffocating, its sterile white tiles and polished fixtures reflecting the stark reality you’re trapped in.

Leaving the bathroom, you make your way downstairs to the living room, each step heavy with the weight of what this means. Rafe had left for work a few hours earlier, leaving you alone in the house. It’s been this way for a while—his absence during these crucial moments only magnifies the distance between you.

The quiet of the house, broken only by the soft footfalls of the servants, feels more isolating than comforting. In the corner of your eye, you notice Anita descending the stairs. She’s one of the few people who’ve been with you since you were young, a steady presence in the chaos of your life.

You assume she’s just finished cleaning your room, making everything perfect as always. “Anita?” you call out, your voice softer than intended. She stops, turning to you with a gentle smile that’s both comforting and bittersweet. “Yes, Miss?” she replies, her tone warm and familiar. You look up from your phone, hesitating for a moment.

“Not a word to Rafe, please,” you say, your voice firmer this time, carrying the weight of the secret you now bear. Anita’s eyes soften with understanding. She doesn’t need any more explanation. “Of course, congratulations to you both. Your parents will be overjoyed, they’ve been waiting for this,” she says before continuing on her way.

Her words hit you like a blow to the chest, knocking the breath from your lungs. Of course, your parents would be thrilled. This is all they ever wanted from you and Rafe—a continuation of the family bloodline, a legacy to carry forward. They didn’t care if the two of you were unhappy, if this marriage was more a prison than a partnership. As long as the family name persisted, nothing else mattered.

~

"Where is she?" Rafe's voice echoes through the quiet house, sharp and impatient. Anita’s calm response cuts through the tension. "She isn’t feeling well, Mr. Cameron," she says, her tone polite and soothing. Rafe grunts in acknowledgment and takes his seat at the dining table, his eyes scanning the empty chair opposite him—usually filled by you each morning.

Later that day, as you and Rafe drive to your parents' house for lunch, a wave of nausea washes over you. You place one hand protectively on your lower stomach, the other coming up to cover your mouth as you close your eyes and focus on steadying your breath. Morning sickness has been relentless lately, more intense and persistent than before. While you’ve managed to keep it hidden from Rafe up until now, the strain is starting to show.

Rafe’s gaze flickers to you briefly, his eyes narrowing with concern. Without a word, he reaches into the console and retrieves a bottle of water, handing it to you with an absent-minded flick of his wrist. He doesn’t even glance at you as he passes it over. "Thanks," you murmur, your voice barely audible as you unscrew the lid and take a slow sip, your eyes fixed out the window.

As the car rolls to a stop in front of your family estate, Rafe is already unbuckling his seatbelt, eager to get this over with. But before he can move, you reach out, your hand covering his, halting his actions. He glances at you, confusion etched across his features. You swallow hard, struggling to find the words, your eyes searching his before you turn away, staring blankly out the windshield.

You feel his gaze on your side profile, waiting, perhaps sensing the gravity of what you’re about to say. "I'm pregnant," you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper. The words hang in the air between you, heavy and unyielding. You feel Rafe tense beside you, the atmosphere in the car growing thick with unspoken emotions. His reaction is immediate and sharp, cutting through the silence like a knife.

"Are you seriously telling me this right now? Just before we see your parents?" His voice is laced with anger, catching you completely off guard. You turn to face him, your expression one of disbelief. Is he seriously getting mad right now? Of all the reactions you had braced yourself for, this wasn’t one of them.

"I just told you we're having a child, and this is how you react?" you snap, incredulous. Your disbelief quickly morphs into anger as you watch him look away, his jaw clenched in frustration. His silence only fuels your rage. "Fucking unbelievable," you mutter under your breath as you unbuckle your seatbelt and shove the car door open.

The door slams shut behind you with a resounding thud as you storm toward the front entrance, your emotions boiling over. You’re only a few steps away when you hear Rafe’s car door fly open, followed by the sound of his voice, sharp and laced with frustration.

"What do you expect me to say when you just laid that out on me?" he calls out, his anger evident in every word. You whirl around, arms crossed tightly over your chest, your eyes narrowed as they lock onto his. His expression is a mix of confusion and fury, as if he’s grappling with the enormity of your news and how it collided with the timing.

For a moment, neither of you speak, the tension between you crackling in the crisp air. "I expected you to care!" you finally snap back, your voice trembling with the weight of everything unsaid. Rafe’s eyes widen, caught between defensiveness and something that almost resembles guilt. "I do care," he retorts, his voice softer now but still edged with frustration. He takes a step closer, closing the distance between you.

"But you couldn’t have picked a worse time to tell me. We’re about to walk into your parents’ house, and you drop this on me like it’s nothing?" You can’t help the bitter laugh that escapes your lips. "You think I planned this? That I wanted to tell you in the driveway? I’ve been dealing with this alone, trying to figure out how to break it to you. But every time, you’re either too busy or too angry for me to even get a word in."

His expression falters, and for a split second, you think you see a flicker of understanding in his eyes. But it’s gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the familiar mask of indifference. "And you thought now was the best time?" he asks, shaking his head in disbelief.

"What do you want me to say, Rafe?" you ask, your voice raw with emotion. "That I should’ve kept it to myself? Pretended everything was fine until it wasn’t? We’re having a child, and I needed you to know before we walked in there and pretended to be the perfect couple again."

Rafe looks away, his jaw clenched tight as he struggles to process the situation. You watch the conflict play out in his eyes, the tug-of-war between the emotions he’s expected to feel and the reality of what he actually feels. His frustration is palpable, and after a tense moment, he sighs heavily, bringing his hands up to massage his temples.

"Can we just get through this lunch, please?" he finally says, his voice soft, almost pleading. His tone catches you off guard—there’s a vulnerability there that you’re not used to hearing from him. You stare at him, torn between wanting to push the conversation further and knowing that now isn’t the time.

His request isn’t unreasonable, but it stings nonetheless, a reminder of the emotional distance that still exists between you. "Fine," you reply after a moment, your voice tinged with resignation. "But this doesn’t change anything. We still need to talk about this—really talk about it."

Rafe nods, his eyes briefly meeting yours before he looks away again. "I know," he mutters, his voice barely above a whisper. The weight of the unspoken hangs heavy between you as you both turn toward the imposing front door of your family estate, ready to face the charade of normalcy that awaits inside.

[ghoulbrain]

Saddle Up, Sweetheart

18+ 3k ghoul x f!reader. cunnilingus/face sitting, overstim, pet names, clothed/naked sex, creampie. gif credit. prompt list. written for this ask. thank you! 🖤

The Ghoul—Cooper, as you know him now—does not make himself an easy man to get to know. He was harsh with you from the start, one of the crankiest old bastards you’ve ever met. An accomplishment, given your life in the slums. He’s dismissive, angry that you even want to know him, and downright mean most days.

And yet you became fascinated with him.

It was ages before you were able to hold decent conversations, and longer than that before you had a name for him. Still, you keep digging. He intrigues you more than anyone else ever has, and despite his sour attitude, he keeps coming back. 

"You won't like what y'find," he told you one day. You knew then you were wearing him down with your persistence.

"What scares you more: the idea that I won't, or the possibility that I will?" You'd asked. 

He laughed. "Y'don't scare me, sugar."

You smiled. "Maybe I should."

Cooper started to look at you differently from then on. There had been a sense before that he was observing you as something ephemeral, a flower bud he was waiting to see bloom and die away as quickly as you'd appeared. 

Once you made it clear you weren't going anywhere, the invisible walls between you began to fall away. You feel his gaze lingering on you when he thinks you aren't paying attention. You watch him in turn, holding his gaze whenever he catches you.

"Eye contact like that'll get'cha killed someday. Predators take it as a challenge," he tells you, adjusting the holster on his thigh.

"Is that what you are?" You ask from where you’re leaning against the wall, arms crossed. You raise your brow, inured to his broody one-liners. "A predator?"

To your surprise, he's the one who closes the distance this time. His footfalls are heavy, his swagger loose. He looms over you, bracing his forearm on the wall behind you. Your heart skips a beat. He rarely ever gets so close.

"I'm the worst kind there is," he says gravely, but you clock his tone for what it is. He's toying with you.

Undeterred, you square your shoulders. "And what kind is that?"

He leans in closer, smelling of oil and gunpowder. "A hungry one," he says, the heat of his breath ghosting your cheek.

Pushing you away hasn't turned you against him. Cornering you won't either. Despite his insistence to the contrary, you're no prey animal. "Well then... I s'pose you ought to have something to eat."

His radiation scarred lips spread slowly into a wicked smile. "Y'offering, sweetcheeks?" He asks, his yellowed teeth parted, poised to take a bite.

You swallow dryly, so keenly aware of the thundering of your own heart, you wonder if he can hear it, too. You tip your head back, jutting your chin out and bringing your lips closer to his.

"You don't scare me, Coop," you whisper, wielding his name like a secret weapon.

He hums, head tilting slowly while his gaze moves down your body in a leisurely calculating sweep. "Well..." He drawls, voice a low rumble from his chest. "Maybe I should."

You're ready for him to do as he's always done and leave you like that, to rile you up and then act as though it was all in your head. You've accepted that Cooper is a man on the run, and he hasn't seen anything in you worth stopping for.

The press of his lips against yours shocks you to your core.

Your arms uncross, hands fumbling to catch hold of his jacket, grabbing him before he can vanish. He responds in kind, cupping your face in the soft worn down leather of his gloves. Your pulse is all the way up in your throat, so wild you’re sure he can taste it when he slips his tongue into your mouth. 

His touch isn’t a gradual thing. He’s upon you all at once, forcing your thighs apart with his knee and slotting his thigh between yours, pressing into you until you start to sing for him, those breathy little noises muffled by his devouring kiss. At your hip, you feel the press of his cock gradually filling out beneath the layers of clothing between you.

After so long without meaningful touch, the onslaught is dizzying. You roll your hips, grinding down on his thigh until you feel your underwear clinging wetly to your skin, an exquisite shiver trilling up and down your spine. His lips feel textured and hardened by his condition, but his tongue is hot and smooth, persistently licking into your mouth, determined to feel, to taste.

That hunger drives him from your lips to your jaw, your throat, peppering rough kisses that are as much lips as they are teeth along your neck. “S’your last chance, darlin’. Point of no return,” he tells you, voice coarse. His hand slips between your bodies and starts working your pants open. “Won’t be no comin’ back from this. I’ll ruin you.”

That he would have the audacity to warn you away from the door like this after you’ve been knocking and knocking and knocking is almost laughable. You would laugh if you had enough air in your lungs, but he’s kissed it out of you.

“So ruin me,” you tell him breathlessly. He grazes his teeth over your pulse-point in a way that makes your voice hitch. “I want you.”

The rim of his hat brushes your cheek as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, making a raw noise against your skin. “God damn it,” he says, yanking you from the wall so sharply you gasp. He whirls you around, hands fisted in your shirt, kissing you hard while he walks you backwards, towards the noisy heap of springs and fabric you call a bed.

“Y’outta your fuckin’ mind for that,” he grouses, shoving your pants down off your hips. You don’t disagree, You know how terrifying he should be, what his affliction does to him, to his hunger, but you don’t care. Not when he’s kissing life back into your dull dusty life at the end of the world.

You’re naked by the time he pushes you down onto the bed, standing above you, sunken eyes black with fervor. He unclips the bullet belt strapped across his chest and shrugs out of his coat, tosses his hat up somewhere high on the bed. You start to crawl backwards, but he snatches your ankle and drags you right back to the very edge of the bed.

“Unbuckle me,” he orders, the words all throaty feverish heat that makes your clit throb. You do, eyes flipping back and forth from him to his belt. He watches you all the while, pulling off his gloves with his teeth, dropping them to the ground. You unbutton his pants next, hands so eager they fumble briefly before you make it to his zipper, the hiss of it coming undone drowned out by the thunder of your pulse in your own ears.

Before you get any further, Cooper catches your wrists and hauls you up to your feet, spinning you around and pulling you down over top of him on the bed. He keeps you steady while you straddle his waist, moving his hands from your wrists to your hips. You start to move back, but he cups your ass and pulls you in the opposite direction.

“Saddle up, sweetheart,” he says, licking his lips. “Y’said for me to have somethin’ t’eat. I intend to.”

Oh fuck.

Nodding hazily, you follow his lead until your knees are on either side of his head, your hands braced on the wall behind your bed.

“C’mon now, relax,” he coaxes, urging you down with his grip on your thighs. You settle most of the way down before he yanks you the rest of it, startling a noise out of you that transitions into a low moan at the molten wet slide of his tongue dragging from the bottom of your pussy to your clit, upon which his lips close down and suck.

The sensation is leagues beyond the amateurish grinding, but that session still left you sensitized. The heat of his mouth is so intense it almost burns. His tongue feels just as unreal, thick and dexterous in the way it works you, swirling repetitive patterns on your clit. He drinks from you like you’re an oasis in the desert, swallowing greedy gulps before sinking his tongue into you, fucking it in and out, coaxing more and more thirst quenching wetness from you.

“Ffffuck, oh my God,” you moan, your hands curling into fists on the wall, sliding until your forearms are braced against it instead, your head hanging between them. You wish you had something to grip, something to dig your nails into as his devil’s tongue builds hot pressure inside of you, swelling sensation toward an inevitable explosion.

Cooper is shameless beneath you, devouring without care for mess or noise. Every so often you feel the graze of his teeth and you buck away from him, but you’re no match for his strength and he keeps you held firmly down, wholly at his mercy despite your positions. 

Once he’s satisfied that you’re not going to try and escape anymore, he relinquishes his hold on your hip and brings his fingers between your thighs, teasing where you’re wettest with the tip of his finger. With the way he’s sucking your clit you barely notice the initial touch, but he quickly wrings a gasp out of you by sinking his finger in all the way to the knuckle, crooking it wickedly while he rocks it in and out.

It’s simultaneously too much and not enough. He walks you on the knife’s edge of your climax, deftly toeing the line with every slow stroke of his finger and swipe of his tongue. Your stomach clenches up with it, breath catching. He pushes in a second finger, and by the time you feel the third working you open, your legs are shaking uncontrollably. He is feasting on you, humming appreciative little noises between the wet sounds of him eating you out.

A sudden jarring slap to your ass makes your quivering thighs tense up and startles a loud moan out of you. He most definitely smiles against you, fucking you steadily with his fingers.

“You son of a bitch,” you manage to choke out, tears prickling at your eyes from the sheer overwhelm of it all, your breaths growing sharper, more shallow. “I should smother you,” you say, the threat dulled by the thinness of your voice.

He smacks your ass again, harder this time. You decide that’s encouragement to do just that and grind down against his mouth, eagerly meeting every thrust of his fingers until one last good slap tips you over the edge, your orgasm striking you like a bolt of lightning. Your whole body goes tense, and Cooper ruthlessly fucks and licks you through it, sucking on your clit as it pulses and pulses and pulses through what feels like the longest climax of your life.

“Enough,” you moan weakly, pushing yourself from the wall on trembling arms. His fingers have slipped free, but he’s still drinking you down, holding your thighs in a vice grip. You can’t stop shaking, the burn of pleasure beginning to feel like the most exquisite pain. “C-Coop, enough, I can’t–you fucker,” you gasp, jolting in his grip when he nips at your clit.

He finally lets you up, easing you down with two hands firmly on your ass. You slide back until you’re straddling his waist, hands braced on his chest while you catch your breath. He doesn’t give you much time, knocking you down into his lap as he sits up. He takes your face in his hands and kisses your own taste into your mouth, giving a throaty little rumble.

“I decide when you’ve had enough,” he says, dropping one hand to work his cock free from his undone pants. “And you’ll remember that you asked for it.”

Each word feels like a spark of electricity. You lift yourself on trembling knees, hands on his shoulders, and he puts his arm around you, drawing you in while you sink down until you feel the thick head of his cock–wet with his own precum–nudging against your spit-soaked pussy.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Show me how good you can take me.” You can hear the restraint in his voice, feel it in the thrum of his touch. You hold his gaze while his cock forces you open in one smooth, frictionless slide, the stretch a dull ache that rapidly ascends into pleasure. He lets you adjust a moment or so before he begins to move, holding your hips steady while he rocks his own, reclining down onto his back.

“Don’t you hold out on me,” you tell him through a shuddered breath, hands behind you, braced on his thighs. “You promised me ruin.”

As sharply as he’d slapped your ass, Cooper gives a hard thrust up, his dull nails biting crescents into your skin, his grip all that keeps you from losing your balance. “One taste and y’already damn spoiled,” he says, planting his boots on your bed–you’ll give him shit for that later–and picking up a brutal pace almost immediately. “C’mon then, sweetheart. Ride me.”

You have no choice but to comply, grabbing hold of what you can of his shirt while he bucks hard under you. Every thrust sparks inside you like the strike of a match, your cunt still sensitive. You can already feel yourself climbing towards another peak. You arch your back, watching him through the haze of your own pleasure. His eyes are dark, his teeth bared. He looks like something wild, like something ready to bite.

“Goddamn, that’s it, y’squeezin’ me fuckin’ good now,” he groans, tipping his head back, watching you bounce on his cock through heavily lidded eyes. “Give it up for me, pretty girl. Show me this is really what you want,” he rambles, his accent growing thicker the closer he gets. You nod along, panting wordlessly, his thrusts knocking sweet little keening noises from your throat. “Go on now, that’s it. Show me how it feels when I make you cum.”

The world around you goes black just before an eruption of white explodes behind your eyelids like stars, your whole body stilling to endure the overwhelming crash of your release, the shock of it rolling out in waves throughout your entire body. You don’t speak, you don’t even breathe, too struck by the magnitude of it. 

Cooper fucks you through every second of it, slurring a litany of feverish nonsense–your name sprinkled within it–until he breaks off into a choked off noise, and in the middle of your euphoria you feel a the rush of his release spilling deep inside you, his body finally stilling under yours.

You sink down onto his chest, panting against the collar of his shirt. He moves his hand along your back, and a distant part of you is caught off guard by how tenderly he sweeps his fingers up the back of your neck. You answer in kind by slipping your fingers just under his collar, fingertips brushing bare skin that’s as gnarled as the rest of him.

The two of you sit in silence for a long while, neither of you willing to break the spell of your afterglow. The entire world feels softer in it, the dull sepia of it tinged with hints of gold. The dust particles floating around you almost seem to sparkle. In any other moment, you’d scold yourself for romanticizing the rotten remains of a dead world that has been so cruel to you, but for just this moment, you let yourself believe that things can be beautiful, too.

You lose yourself to the warmth of his body beneath yours, and the gentle way he traces the slopes of your body with his fingertips. Eventually, Cooper cleans his throat. You ignore it, reluctant to acknowledge him. You know once you do, the moment will be over.

“Y’might wanna get situated with a pack of Radaway soon,” he murmurs, the twang of his voice still heavier than usual. 

Tucked into the crook of his neck, you smile while he still can’t see you, endeared. “I’ve had worse exposures.”

“I find that hard t’believe,” he says, cupping the back of your neck in his palm. His thumb strokes absently back and forth. You can almost believe he’s dragging out these last few moments together, too.

Lifting yourself, you brace your forearms on his chest, staring down at him. His expression is difficult to parse–while there is most definitely a sense of ease you don’t normally associate with him, there’s also a profound sadness.

Your brows furrow. “What?”

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he moves his hand from your neck to your cheek, swiping his thumb along the ridge of it. You lean into his touch, ready to ask again, when he makes a grab for his hat and places it firmly on your head, obscuring your vision.

“That was some fine ridin’, sweetheart,” he says, voice as coarse and sweet as raw sugar.

You push the brim up until you can see him again, failing to bite back a smile. “Guess I’m the sheriff ‘round these parts now.”

“I ain’t a sheriff," he says flatly, though the slight tic at the corner of his mouth gives away his amusement.

“That’s right, y’ain’t. ‘Cause I am,” you say in your best impression of him, tipping his hat at him.

He blows out a breath and tugs the rim back down over your eyes. “Whatever you say, sweetcheeks,” he says, and though you can’t see him, you’re certain you can hear the smile in his voice.

Today may never happen again. The world could end tomorrow–again–or Cooper could walk off into the Wastes for the very last time. If you’ve learned anything in this world, it’s that nothing lasts forever. So, you drop your head back down and listen to the beat of his heart, using it to count the moments as they pass.

If they’re gonna be the best you get, you’d like to know how many of them you have.

[mickandmusings]

sincerity & sonnets

-

pairing: anthony bridgerton x f!reader

word count: 2.1k

summary: anthony bridgerton is blessed with many things-a warm, loving family, a well-funded lifestyle as a viscount, a beautiful wife. more notably, he is cursed with a short fuse and a sharp tongue, which might lead to his demise.

(based off of this request! to the anon who requested, I sort of wrote the argument as more of a sharp remark, but i hope it is still angsty enough for your liking! <3)

warnings: angsty->fluffy, no other warnings

-

As Anthony sat at his desk, scribbling away at his numerous piles of papers stacked in front of him, he noted the unusual quietness that had fallen on his study. He first thought that he had shut the door, but one quick look at the doorway contradicted his beliefs. Anthony's eyebrows furrowed in confusion-his home was never quiet.

Between his own family, and the families of his four sisters and three brothers, his home was full of life: laughter bounding off the walls, his wife and sisters' voices chatting over tea, the stampeding footfalls of his hoard of nieces and nephews assured his ears would never grow accustomed to utter silence. Even in the rare occurrence that the house was empty save for Anthony and his beloved wife, he'd often hear her humming to herself as she attended to her own business in their home, or she would join him in his study, writing her own correspondences at the smaller desk next to his own. Which is why, now, as he sat at his desk this afternoon, the silence stunned him. Anthony frowned, lifting his pocket watch to assure himself he was not entirely losing his mind. As the gold clock stared back at him, the small hand signaled it was midday.

He chuckled to himself, his wife must have chosen to sleep in entirely too long. Y/N was a chronic night owl, often keeping Anthony awake with her bedside chatter and comments on the appearance of the night sky through the window that faced their bed. Anthony would indulge her, but would still wake before the sun. His wife, however, would not budge for several more hours. He grinned and pocketed his watch, pushing himself up from his chair to wake his sleeping beauty of a wife.

Anthony bounded up the stairs two at a time, nodding curtly at any house staff before reaching their shared bedchambers. His dark eyes peer into the empty bedroom-his wife certainly was not here. He noted the dutifully made bed, the open curtains allowing the sunlight in, and, most importantly, his wife's absence. Anthony shook his head briefly before dashing back down the stairs, nearly stumbling into one of his wife's handmaidens.

"Pardon me," he addresses the woman with a sigh, a bit breathless from the unexpected goose chase his wife has taken him on. "Do you know the whereabouts of my wife?"

The younger maid looks at Anthony almost confused, but quickly takes on a professional tone:

"The Viscountess is reading in the garden, she's only just gotten back from tea with the Dowager Viscountess and the Duchess."

Anthony nodded in thanks, hastily departing for their expansive garden, his mind racing. Seeing his wife was an afternoon ritual-she would come bounding into his study after tea with his mother and respective sisters, spouting off all of the new ladies' gossip as he listened intently, all while pretending he was entirely disinterested. He enjoyed seeing her eyes grow wide with the shock of scandal, or her smile at a sweet interaction she witnessed at the park. If you were to ask Anthony Bridgerton, there was no sight more splendid than his wife in all of her extraordinary, everyday beauty. Not that he would admit that aloud, at least not to anyone but her.

Frankly, he was missing her presence today more than he cared to admit. He spotted Y/N almost instantly, her periwinkle gown shining in the sun. She sat in a chair politely under a shady tree, the book on her lap seemingly forgotten. Her expressive eyes locked onto the treeline in the distance, her face solemn. Anthony's heart seemed to fall in his chest, the sinking realization of why his home had been so soundless for the entirety of the day. His chest felt tight as he thought of his actions last night...

-

It had been a very, very long day for Anthony. With Francesca's upcoming debut to society, his mother had been harping on Anthony for nearly a fortnight about every minute detail. His patience for his mother was infinite, but sometimes she did manage to test its limits. Atop this hurdle was the never ending stacks of paperwork littering his desk, waiting to be looked over and signed off by his barely legible scrawl. He had neglected to write Colin back for weeks-his younger brother writing about his travels in Greece. The house staff had been in and out of his study all day, the incessant knocking severing his nerves. The heavy weight of life as a viscount was falling on Anthony, making him irritable and exhausted. His dear wife had settled his discomfort around lunch, bringing his nearly-cold meal into his study to make sure he ate. She had left him with a chaste kiss and a better mood, but Anthony had returned to her worse for wear.

Dinner in their large dining room had felt unnaturally dreary, only the sound of utensils clanking against china plates filling the air, only to be stifled by his wife's chatter. Normally, Anthony would've listened attentively, enjoying hearing about trips to the modiste or how Portia Featherington had driven his wife to near madness. Today, however, her voice had him pressing his nails into his palms to aid his irritation. He sipped his wine and shuffled his food on his plate to avoid making eye contact, he would not want her to see the frustration lingering in his eyes.

"Eloise was completely beside herself, I had never seen her so embarrassed! Madame Delacroix-"

"Must you talk so incessantly?!" Anthony's voice spat out in a low growl, dripping with fierce vexation.

Y/N's eyes grew wide, looking at her husband as if he had sprouted an extra arm and slapped her with it. She said nothing, only cowering in on herself, staring down at her lap as she fidgets with her hands. After several moments of Anthony's intense silence, she lifts a shaky hand and wipes the tears forming in her eyes as she hastily made her way out of the room, attempting to put as much distance between her and Anthony as possible.

Anthony followed suit moments later, feeling angry at himself as he slammed the door of his study shut, falling asleep at his desk hours later. Y/N had slept on her side of a bed far too large for one, her eyes tender and cheeks splotchy, her mind racing. Did she truly talk too much? Had he been annoyed by her daily talks for all these months? Her mind weaved small details into a full blown breakdown, and she quickly settled on being Anthony's perfect, quiet wife as she caved to her drowsiness.

-

The wind blew his wife's curls against her shoulder as Anthony approached her in the backyard, her back still facing him. He wasn't sure she had even heard him approach, her eyes still focused on the landscape sprawled before them. Anthony shuffles nervously, his hands behind him as he stands at her side, only the wind and birds chirping aiding the suffocating silence.

"Splendid weather we're having," Anthony's voice finally spoke, awkward and fumbling into casual conversation as he sank into the chair across from him. Y/N said nothing, only blinking in the same direction she had been staring at the entire time. Anthony nodded, mostly to himself, resigning himself to her silence, it was what he deserved at the moment.

After several moments of dead silence, Y/N turned her attention back to the book perched in her lap, and Anthony sat silently, wanting to spout out his apology in a hurried, bumbling manner, but he knew his wife, she would simply nod and continue reading, allowing herself to stew in prolonged silence.

He rose quietly, leaving with a small kiss landing atop her head-a touch that burned Y/N's skin. She watched Anthony leave out of the corner of her eye, sighing heavily as his presence was back inside their home. She was a myriad of feelings: angry at Anthony for being so blatantly cruel, his words had stung and left her reeling for hours. She was sad, as much as the words had fired her up, they had torn her heart, leaving her chest heavy with dejection. Y/N was nearly bursting at the seams to just apologize-even if it wasn't her who needed to apologize-just so the awkward encounters would come to an end. She wondered if Anthony even felt remorse at all.

In his study, Anthony ran his hands through his hair for the hundredth time, attempting to focus on the business papers in front of him. His efforts were fruitless-all he could think of was the empty look on Y/N's face. He had never seen her this lifeless, like her glow had been snuffed out, and it was entirely his fault. Anthony's mind raced with a million different scenarios of how he would make this up to her, ranging from flowers to begging on hands and knees, but despite his blunders, he knew his lady well. His Viscountess had never been one for showy things or frivolous purchases, she would only want his sincerest apologies. He would do it tonight, over dinner, he decided. He only hoped when the time came, she would at least spare him a glance.

-

Hours later, at the dining room table, Anthony found himself sitting in his chair at the head of the table completely alone. The kitchen staff came and left with plates and glasses, but his wife had yet to make an appearance. Anthony's foot tapped against the floor in anxiety, his eyes shooting up to the closest staff member, nearly shouting:

"Where is the Viscountess taking her dinner?"

The head of the kitchen staff looked at Anthony wide-eyed at his outburst, replying politely:

"Viscountess Bridgerton took her dinner in the library tonight."

Anthony said nothing, rising from his seat and walking down the hallway, coming to the door of the library and knocking lightly.

"Come in."

Anthony nearly burst into a fit of tears, happy to hear her voice.

He pushed the door open, Y/N's eyes meeting his before they dropped back down to the open book in her hands. Anthony felt guilt press heavy on his chest. He settled into the plush chair opposite her, separated only by a small end table. Anthony looked over at her, his brown eyes all but practically begging her to say something to him.

"Y/N..." Anthony's voice is small and timid, trying to coax her into at least hearing him out. Y/N's voice came out a whisper, cutting him off.

"I am sorry."

Anthony furrowed his brow, that was certainly not what he was expecting to hear. He looked over at her, her gaze locked on the moonlight coming through the window, her eyes glassy with tears.

"I am sorry I have become a burden, Anthony. I did not realize I irritated you with my ramblings. I thought you wanted to hear of my daily activities. I know my day as a woman is not nearly as riveting as yours as a Viscount, but-"

"My dear, your apologies are not necessary," Anthony's voice dripped with sincerity, his eyes warm as he looked at her, ready to grovel for forgiveness. He stuck his hand out for her to take, which she did. He pulled her towards him softly, his gentle touches coaxing her into his lap. Y/N's eyes grow soft under his gaze, her limbs melting in his strong hold. "I am the one who has been a fool. I look forward to your ramblings, no matter if they hold what you consider to be valuable or not, they brighten my day. I wait most ardently for news of trips to the modiste, or my mother's ramblings over tea-" He pauses, tucking a stray curl back behind her ear, his thumb wiping away the stray tears on her cheeks.

"I don't want you to be silent. Your voice is more pleasant than any other sound," Anthony cuts himself off, sighing, before starting again. "I should not have spoken to you in such a manner. I should not have raised my voice at you. You have my word that it will never happen again, I cannot go another day surrounded by your silence, it is torture."

Y/N smiles slightly at her husband's words, his transgressions forgiven with his sincere words. His face is close enough to hers to brush her nose against his, their lips close enough to meet.

"Are you certain you were not a poet before we met, Lord Bridgerton?" Y/N's voice is a whisper, the moment feeling far too intimate for anything else.

Anthony chuckles as his hand grasps the side of her face lightly, bringing her closer, speaking before he kisses her deeply:

"Only for you, my beloved...you inspire sonnets."

-

[spider-stark]

SWORN PROTECTOR

Criston Cole x Targaryen!Reader

Summary - After sneaking back into the Keep from a night spent out in the city, you find your sworn protector, Ser Criston Cole, waiting for you in your room.

Warnings - fem!reader, targtower!reader, not edited, reader has mommy/daddy issues, duty turned devotion type bullshit, criston can't just guard a woman without falling in love ig, yearning

Word Count - 2k

!MINORS DNI!

// masterlist // send me your thoughts // comments & reblogs appreciated! //

Soft footfalls echo in the narrow corridor of Maegor’s passages. You keep a palm cupped around the candle in your other hand, protecting the flame so it won’t gutter out. Secret doors are scattered throughout the corridor, each leading into bedchambers or solars or other forgotten passages. Having already left your brother, Aegon, at the secret door leading to his room, you keep count of your steps. 

One, two; seven, eight; thirteen, fourteen; twenty, twenty-one.

At just over twenty-five paces, the exact distance between his room and yours, you stop, turn to the left and blow your candle out, setting it on the ground for next time you go sneaking through to passages. 

Cold stone bites at your palms as you press them against the aged door. You cringe with every scrape and groan as you push it open. When there’s a gap just wide-enough, you turn sideways and shimmy inside. 

You’re greeted by warm light, candles flickering from all around your room, chasing the shadows of dusk into faraway corners. If you weren’t so preoccupied with heaving the door back into place, adjusting the tapestry that hides its seams from view, you may have noticed that there are more candles lit now than when you slipped out earlier, having abandoned the Keep in favor of a night spent in the city lying below Aegon’s High Hill. 

When all is as it was, the secret door shut and covered, you turn around. Heaving a sigh, you shrug your cloak from your shoulders, letting it fall into a heap on the floor. Gooseflesh immediately forms along your arms, kissed by the chill breeze blowing in from the open balcony. 

You walk to the vanity on the far side of your room, rolling your neck and shoulders, muscles sore from hours spent dancing among the smallfolk in a Flea Bottom tavern. Exhaustions made your bones weary, fantasies of crawling into warm sheets plague your mind. They tempt you, urging you to forego your nightly routine in favor of sweet, sweet sleep. 

Your footsteps falter, casting a wistful glance down your shoulder to your bed when—

Seven Hells! 

Your pulse jumps, a scream threatens to rip from your throat at the sight of a figure sat on the foot of your bed. You react quickly, clamping a hand over your mouth to muffle any sound, not wanting to raise alarm amongst the guards. Recognition washes over you in a matter of seconds, taking them in one detail at a time: their weathered boots and polished armor, tanned skin and ever-present frown. 

Lowering your hand, you have half a mind to curse Criston for frightening you like this, for not announcing himself as soon as you snuck in—

Rational thought trumps what remains of fear. 

He had to have seen you—sneaking in from the passages, hiding the door upon entrance. 

Fuck. 

The air turns thick. Every breath is like sucking treacle into your lungs, slow and suffocating. Criston’s stare is heavy, his expression like weathered stone. Armor grinds against itself as his arms cross over his chest. “Where have you been?” 

There’s some relief that he doesn’t first question you about the passages. Does he already know about them, you wonder? After all, before Criston became your protector, he was sworn to your half-sister, Rhaenyra—who, in your youth, was said to be quite rebellious. 

A trait Criston finds to be alive and well within you. 

You look away from him, continuing to your vanity. “I was out,” you answer, purposefully curt. “Obviously.” 

Nudging the vanity stool with your foot, you take a seat upon its plush velvet cushion. Criston pushes off your bed, and you fight a smirk at the sound of his footfalls, heavy and fervent as he strides to your side. 

“Out where?” 

You pull your neatly plaited hair over your shoulder, watching yourself in the mirror as you untie the ribbon binding it. “In the city,” you tell him, tossing the scrap of silk onto the vanity top. “Where else would I go?” 

“Were you alone?” 

You reach for your brush, begin combing. “What does it matter?” Before he can answer, you catch his gaze in the reflection, eyes playfully narrowing as you ask, “If I said that I wasn’t, would you be jealous, Ser Criston?” 

He certainly looks jealous. 

The knight’s breathing is shallow, tanned cheeks flush with frustration. At your question, a muscle feathers in his jaw, clenched so tight that you can nearly hear his teeth grind together. There’s a dark gleam in his eyes, a shadow of rage—not at you, you don’t think. But at whoever may have been graced with your presence tonight, showered with your favor and affection. 

“As your sworn protector,” Criston says, voice strained, “I have a right to ask if you were escorted by another member of the Kingsguard.” 

There’s such emotion in it—the way he said: Your sworn protector. A trembling betrays his fraying restraint, revealing the raw nerve beneath and exposing Criston’s desperation, a desire to not only be sworn to you, but to be wholly possessed by you. 

Your sworn protector—no longer a title, but an identity. 

Your sworn protector—no longer an oath, but a sacred devotion. 

You set your brush down, holding his stare with a faint smirk. “I’m afraid that doesn’t answer my question, Ser.” 

Something snaps. His mouth twists into a scowl. 

“Are you truly so thoughtless, princess?” Criston asks, his tone maintaining a delicate balance between respect and disappointment. “Do you understand it’s your very life you play with? And that it’s not only you who would suffer the consequences of this… this utter lack of duty! This wanton negligence!” 

You could have him dismissed from the Kingsguard for this. 

For speaking so freely. For interrogating a princess. For trespassing in your rooms. 

Criston continues, “If something were to happen to you, my life is forfeit. The king would–” 

He’s interrupted by wood screeching against stone, the vanity stool thrust back as you rise to your feet. You turn to stand toe-to-toe with the knight, chin tilted to lock eyes with him. “The king,” you hiss with a sickly smile, contradicting the venom in your voice, “would do nothing—just as he’s done all my life.” 

The energy shifts. Criston’s scowl morphs to a pitying frown. 

“He is your father,” his protest is a tentative breath, laced with underlying uncertainty, “if something happened to you, he would seek justice.” 

You laugh, low and bitter. Shake your head and shove past the knight. “If he mistook me for Rhaenyra, perhaps,” you say, kicking off your shoes as you head to the wardrobe next to your bed. “If not, then I imagine he wouldn’t even notice I’m gone. My life—the lives of my siblings—has never meant anything to him.” 

Criston redirects, facing you now. He argues, “It means something to your mother.”—And to me, he holds back. 

A scoff, throwing the wardrobe open. 

Your mother loves you, of course—but it’s the kind of love that hurts. It’s cold distance and piercing scrutiny, violent words and stinging cheeks. If you were to die, she would certainly mourn. But it won’t change that she failed you. It won’t make her a good mother. 

When you don’t respond, mindlessly digging through a drawer of nightgowns, Criston knows better than to broach that particular topic any further. 

With a hesitant breath, he says, “It’s my duty to protect you. To keep you safe.” He takes several steps, decreasing the distance between you by coming to stand at the foot of your bed. You stay facing the wardrobe. “It’s true that I cannot tell you what to do—if you wish to fraternize with common-men—” such distaste laces this word—“then that is your will.” 

There’s a pause. Your hands falter, swathed in a mess of silky fabric as you wait for him to continue. 

“I only ask that you heed caution, princess. For you to allow me to accompany you and do my job—to safeguard your life, your virtue-”

Genuine amusement floods your chest. It spills from your lips in a string of vivacious giggles. “Is that what this is about, Ser Criston? My virtue?” You settle on a nightgown, turn around and toss it onto your bed. You glance to the foot of it, at Criston and his ever-present frown. “You truly are a jealous man,” you muse, smiling, “aren’t you? Thinking I go into the city to fuck common-men.” 

His fists tighten at his sides, the blatant mockery in your voice having invited a wave of embarrassment. 

“It was not my intention to imply that—” 

The words catch in Criston’s throat as you turn the opposite way, slip your shirt over your head and shimmy out of your trousers, leaving the smallclothes beneath. All he can see is your back—the smooth column of your spine, brushed by tendrils of long, silver hair—but that’s enough. 

Enough to make his heart jolt, hammer against his ribcage. Enough to make his knees weak, threaten to buckle beneath his weight. Enough to light a fire inside him, flames licking at every inch of his skin. 

Grasping at the final shreds of his restraint, Criston averts his gaze to the floor. 

He swallows on a too-dry throat. “King’s Landing is full of vile men, princess,” he tells you, a sense of guilt pricking at his conscience. “And vile men are known to commit vile acts.” 

You reach out an arm, grab the nightgown and pull it over your head. Silk glides over your skin, covering the exposed flesh that tempts the knight so. 

Whirling to face him, you ask, “And what about you?” 

Criston doesn’t answer, still studying the rug beneath his feet with a staggering intensity. You catch his brow furrow, though, a small wrinkle forming there. You elaborate on your question. 

“You’re a man in King’s Landing,” you tell him, leisurely placing one foot in front of the other, gliding to where he stands at the end of your bed. “Are you as vile as the rest of them, Ser Criston?” 

Again, only silence. 

You take another step. Less than a foot of space separates you, close enough now to scent the earthy musk of his armor. “Some might think it vile,” you continue, taunting him, “for you to be here right now—hiding in my bedchambers well after dark.” 

Criston stammers, his words broken-up by serrated breaths, “I merely wished to know that you were safe, princess.” Dark eyes flutter up from the floor, drawn to yours. “My intentions were pure.” 

“Were?” 

His blood thrums. His lungs ache. 

You continue, “Do you mean your intentions have changed, Ser Criston?” 

Criston tells the truth. “No.” With you, his intentions are always pure. It’s his desires that complicate things. “My intentions are the same,” he tells you, clearing his throat, “I only wish to know you’re safe. That you’re well-protected.” 

Your mistrust in his answer is evident. Lips pursed, your eyes scan his face, searching for something. At this moment, he feels every bit like prey. A cornered animal trapped beneath the searing gaze of a dragon, left entirely at your mercy. 

A part of him is terrified. Another, utterly entranced.

Finally, you click your tongue. Reaching out a hand, you place it against his chest. His gaze falls, staring at where your palm is pressed to his armor. He wonders how it might feel against his skin. “You’re an honorable knight, Ser Criston,” you tell him, smiling. “A good man, too.” 

Criston doesn’t remember the need for oxygen until your touch falls away. 

Turning your back to him again, you stride back around your bed, pull the blankets back, and sit on the edge of your mattress. His mind is still reeling when you next speak.

“I was with Aegon.” 

Criston blinks. “What?” 

“You asked if I was alone,” you say, reminiscing on his earlier question, “I wasn’t. I was with Aegon—who was accompanied by Ser Erryk.” Sliding your legs beneath the blankets, you lean back against a stack of plush pillows. “So I was well-protected from those vile men you speak of.” Chewing on your lip, fighting a wider grin, you add, “I just thought you might like to know—despite how unjealous you are.”  

Criston’s own lips twitch, curving upwards. 

“Good,” he says, a bit awkward. Then: “And about that secret door…” 

You groan, tossing your head back against the pillows. Criston softly chuckle, another lecture already poised on the tip of his tongue. 

It’s going to be a long night.

a/n - idk man. I randomly decided at 8pm that I needed to write 2k words about this man after never writing for him a day in my life, and this is the product of that. any and all feedback is welcome and much appreciated!

[jobean12-blog]

With Every Breath

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x female reader

Word Count: 2.7K

Summary: When the unthinkable happens, Marcus is there, and he'll protect you and keep you safe with his very last breath.

Author's Note: The new trailer gave me some more ideas so I wanted to do something where Marcus has to come to your rescue and kick ass. I know it appears to be the exact opposite from what we've seen, but everyone is friends here in this little world- Lucius, Marcus etc haha because that means no one has to die! YAY! LOL Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: soft sweetness and fluff, mentions of blood and violence because Marcus has to take care of things, soft fluffersmut, lots of love and romance bc we love our soft Marcus

Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist

“General Acacius.”

His dark eyes stay fixed on the far corner of the room and he’s oblivious to the call of his name.

“General,” Macrinus repeats with a grin.

It takes him a moment before he can speak and with a sigh, Marcus turns and stares pointedly at Macrinus.

“The emperor wishes to speak with you,” Macrinus informs him. “And you know how he loves to be kept waiting.”

At the wry comment Marcus’ lips tilt upwards. “I shall see to my stunning wife first.”

“Of course,” Macrinus answers, following Marcus’ line of sight as he turns his gaze back to you.

He moves silently across the stone floor, his eyes drinking in every soft curve of your body and his hands twitching with the need to touch you.

Stepping behind you, he taps you on your bare shoulder, grazing his fingertip down along your arm. You’re soft and smooth, and he loves the way goose bumps spread along your skin.

“General,” you purr as you press yourself against his side, flattening your palm to his chest.

“You look magnificent,” he whispers at the shell of your ear. “The stars will be jealous of you tonight.”

You meet his eyes, the lines around them soft, and brush your fingers through his beard.

“Always the romantic,” you whisper. “If you weren’t holding me up I might swoon.”

He smiles widely at your teasing and reaches for your hand, lifting your knuckles to his lips and kissing each softly before he asks, “dance with me?”

Placing his hand at the small of your back, he guides you to a dimly lit corner and pulls your body flush to his. You move slowly, lost in the feel of him so warm and close. His hands wander as much as is acceptable under the eyes of your current company, but as the moments pass you can sense his reserve slipping.

“Meet me by the library,” he whispers.

“Marcus,” you admonish softly. “We cannot leave.”

“You know the spot,” he says and then kisses the corner of your mouth, bowing in thanks for the dance.

The sound of conversation fades as he steps out of the crowded space into the grand hallway. He moves slowly toward the library, nodding to the occasional servant that rushes by him.

He waits, feeling as if every sound he makes echoes out into the hallway, his footfalls slapping along the stone as he pretends to peruse the books.

Too long after he left you, the sound of soft and swishing fabric builds, and he watches the shape of you appear at the entrance. You cross the room, eyes on his as you slowly close the distance between you.

You pause with just inches left separating you and with no hesitation grab his shoulders and pull him to your lips.

The move makes him moan, eyes fluttering closed as you open your mouth to him and tilt your head. One hand grips your breast and the other digs into your hip. He walks you backward, tugging at your dressings.

Your pulse beats wildly in your throat and he kisses the spot, sucking on your skin until you’re arching against him with plea of his name.

His hand slips under the draped material of your dress, calloused skin rough along your delicate inner thigh and just before he reaches he reaches the spot you need him most you hear the frantic calls of one of the servants.

“I swear to…” Marcus starts, and you cover his lips with your finger.

“General Acacius,” the servant calls again, this time his voice closer, louder.

You hold Marcus’ gaze, and his fingers dig into your thigh, his restraint hanging on by a thread.

Finally, and with a pained expression, he removes his hand and carefully fixes your dress. When he steps back the servant appears at the entrance, his eyes searching the darkness.

“General,” he says in a rushed breath, “I apologize, but this is urgent.”

The young man looks away from Marcus’ intense stare and you take your husbands face in your hands and bring his eyes back to you.

“Go. I will be waiting for you when you return.”

His jaw is tight and his teeth grind. “Tonight.” I will have you, my wife. Over and over again.”

He seals the whispered promise with a kiss, lips lingering until he can dally no longer, and he stalks off toward the grand hall.

His words with the emperor drag on and he quickly grows more impatient. But when the emperor starts motioning to the map sprawled out on the table, one of his advisors rushes into the room unannounced.

All eyes turn to the newcomer, clearly annoyed at the interruption.

“General Acacius,” the man says. “Please. Come with me.”

Marcus does nothing to hide his dissatisfaction and takes a menacing step closer to the advisor.

“Whatever it is, I will see to it tomorrow. I am already late to meet my wife.”

At the mention of you the advisor swallows hard and the slight tremble to his hands is hard to miss.

Marcus’ frown deepens and his body goes taut.

“SPEAK!” Marcus shouts.

“Lucius. He asks you to come at once,” the man squeaks.

The double doors swing open simultaneously and with a heavy bang as Marcus barrels through them, his frantic eyes searching the room for Lucius.

“They took her,” Lucius states from just beyond the door.

Marcus nearly crumples to his knees as the words register.

“How? When?” Marcus chokes out.

“I do not know,” Lucius says quietly. “But I was informed by one of ours that she went shortly after she returned to the banquet.”

“I’m going to kill every last one of them,” Marcus growls out.

“You and I both General,” Lucius agrees.

Marcus draws the dark hood over his head and secures his sword at his side.

“We move quietly and quickly,” he says to Lucius. “I will see that she is safe before all else.”

Lucius nods his understanding and falls into step next to Marcus as their silent feet carry them down the dark corridor.

The sound of laughter and snickering grows louder as the two men creep further into the shadows but when your raspy and defiant shouts take over Marcus tenses and quickens his pace.

Lucius lays a strong hand on Marcus’ arm.

“Do not rush into this without your head General. You know what the rebels are capable of.”

For a brief moment, Lucius sees a flash of vulnerability that is masked by Marcus’ stoic and determined expression.

“She is strong. She is smart. You know she expects you to come for her.”

Lucius’ words are a brief balm to the fire of rage burning in Marcus’ heart and he takes a calming breath.

“Get her to safety and you can paint the walls with their blood.”

“I will revel in it,” Marcus replies.

A small fire glows in the center of the stone room and six men sit around it, their shoulders relaxed and their faces flush from warmth.

Marcus sees you slumped against the far wall, your skin bruised and bloodied and your clothing torn.

His chest heaves with his barely controlled and ragged breathing and his knuckles turn white from the grip he has on his sword.

“They will go for her. They will kill her without mercy,” Lucius warns.

Marcus’ lip curls and he bares his teeth.

“They will not lay another hand on her before I have their heads.”

With a silent exchange Marcus and Lucius split apart and stealthily advance on the unsuspecting group.

Their shadows grow tall against the stone and before the rebel men can react, Lucius and Marcus are upon them.

The fire is snuffed out and heavy footfalls echo before the sound of clashing swords and screams fill the air.

You lay yourself down low to the ground, out of the way of swinging swords and stabbing knives. You hear Marcus’ voice boom over the chaos, and you hold onto it, waiting.

A strong and familiar hand wraps gently around your arm and you are lifted to your feet.

“Marcus,” you whisper.

“Beloved,” he says, nearly choking on the words. “Can you walk?”

The sound of battle still surrounds you and you cling to Marcus, answering him with a soft, “yes.”

Lucius appears at your side and grabs you around the waist. “Come,” he says delicately. “I will lead you to safety.”

“Marcus,” you call out, not wanting to leave him.

“Go,” he says, “I will find you soon.”

As Lucius leads you toward the exit he grabs a torch from the wall and lights it with the embers left from the fire. The room illuminates and you get a glimpse of the five bodies that lie bleeding their life onto the stone.

A sixth, however, still moves and you watch Marcus advance.

“Come,” Lucius urges again but you struggle and keep your eyes on Marcus.

“You do not need to see this,” Lucius whispers.

With reluctance you lean against Lucius’ side and walk with him.

The last man, the leader of the rebel group, stands hunched over against the wall, his arm cradled along his side where he bleeds from a wound.

“I will make sure to draw out your death. Slow and painful,” Marcus hisses. “How dare you lay a finger on what is mine.”

The man’s lips curl back in a snarl, and he smiles with bloodied teeth. “I would have laid much more than a finger on her if I had the chance.”

The words barely leave the man’s mouth before Marcus’ hidden knife plunges into his thigh. The man screams out in agony and falls to his knees.

“I will remind you with every drop of blood that seeps from your pitiful body that you will never again have the honor to even look upon her beauty, let alone touch her.”

The further you move from Marcus, the louder the cries of pain from the rebel become and you finally allow your body to relax. Your brain fogs and you start to fade from consciousness, slumping against Lucius’ strong hold.

“Where is she?” Marcus roars. “Where is my wife?”

Lucius knows the anger is not directed at him and he meets Marcus toe to toe in the middle of the room. Marcus has stripped himself of most of his armor, but the blood of his enemies still paints his skin.

“She is here. She is safe General.”

Although they’re the words he wants to hear, Marcus’ body still thrums with unbridled fury.

“I want everyone out. Now!”

Lucius nods and motions to the young ladies that have been tending to you. They bow and Marcus thanks them with a tilt of his head but before Lucius can step out Marcus grabs his shoulder with a firm hold.

“You have my eternal gratitude,” Marcus chokes out.

Lucius crosses his arm over his chest and gently bends at the waist.

“General,” he says quietly before walking out.

With a deep inhale Marcus moves aside the lush fabric that surrounds your shared bed and glances at your resting form. The court ladies have cleaned and dressed your wounds, and you seem to breathe evenly.

He carefully sits on the edge of the bed and rests his hand on your hip, his voice shaky when he whispers your name.

Your eyes open slowly and at the sight of him you smile. He captures your hand and presses it to his heart, letting the first tear roll down his cheek to land warm and wet on your skin.

“Marcus,” you whisper, flexing your fingers into his chest.

He starts to speak but the words get caught in his throat and you see the muscles work with his hard swallow.

“I know,” you whisper.

Your hand falls to his arm, and you trace your nails lightly along the corded muscle as it shifts under your touch.

When you start to sit up he wraps a strong hand around your nape and pulls you to his chest, holding you there gently as you rest your face in the crook of his neck.

“My love,” he breathes, lips brushing your temple. “I am sorry.”

You lift your face to his, gently cradling his jaw and sweeping your thumb along his cheek.

“Marcus. You have nothing to be sorry for. You saved me.”

He bows his head, unable to bear the steadfast love you hold in your eyes. But you don’t allow it and tip his chin up, watching as another tear slides down his face.

You sweep it away and pull him closer. You look him over with tender eyes, noting the dried blood, and reach for the wet cloth at your bedside. Your hands work slowly and gently as you wipe his skin clean.

 Then you take his face in your hands, lips feather light as they glide over his, and whisper, “I love you.”

The simple uttering is all that you can say before he kisses you and as with all real emotions, there is immeasurably more left inside that what comes out in words.

You feel the air slide under the linens and sweep over your skin as he climbs into the bed, his warmth and scent cocooning you and filling you with instinctive yearning.

His arms circle around you and his heart pounds under your palm. Warm lips press to your forehead before he kisses one cheek and then the other, brushing his nose along your jaw on his way to your ear.

“I do not want to cause you any more pain.”  

“Marcus,” you whisper. “You are here. There is no more pain. I need you.”

His eyes find yours, searching your face from under the fallen curls over his brow, the silver light of the moon highlighting the creases of worry.

“Please,” you say softly.

He tilts your head back with his hand on your jaw, smoothing it down the delicate curve of your neck, strong but gentle.

You push away his tunic, pressing your fingers to his firm, warm skin, his abdomen spasming when you scratch your nails over his ribs, and down, to the soft trail of dark hair that always tempts your hands lower.

His hands smooth over your skin, his eyes watching your face as his fingertips linger on each bruise and cut he finds.

He teases between your legs, finding you more than ready, and when he pushes a finger inside you, it’s slow, as if he’s feeling every inch of you.

“Is this…?” he starts to ask in a whisper.

“Marcus,” you moan. “More. Please.”

His other hand gently massages your breast as he pushes a second finger inside you, and the world fades away to these two points of sensation and then shrinks further as his words of love heat your skin.

Your hips push up and you beg him for more, already close to release but needing to feel him inside you when you fall apart.

With slow movements, intentionally gentle, he rocks into you. Calloused hands drift down your sides, clutching your hips, and his lips press to every inch of your skin he can find, whispering more words of praise and love.

There’s no space between your bodies, nothing but the black of night spread across you both like a velvet blanket, and the intensity of it makes your breath catch in your throat.

His voice shakes and he slides his hand up to your neck, his thumb stroking the soft skin at the hollow of your throat.

He follows the path back down again, tracing the curve of your thigh, and moving between your legs, his broad fingertip circling and pressing.

“That’s it my love,” he says roughly.

Your orgasm rushes through you and you cry out his name, arching against him as he fills you up, hips rutting rhythmically.

When you collapse, pliant and spent, he catches you, cradling your head to his chest, and you hear the heavy thud of his heart.

He rolls you onto your back, careful with every movement, and slides back into you, watching your face with clear, serious eyes.

“I will never get enough of you,” he murmurs.

[khywren]

Vis Medicatrix

pairing: Astarion/f!reader rating: 18+ MDNI word count: 5.5k tags/warnings: blood/gore, canon-typical violence, smut, piv sex, fingering, soft spawn Astarion

summary: “Y-you’re hurt, Astarion,” you insist with far less emphasis than you had intended, tearing your eyes away from his face with difficulty and looking towards the vials that still sit untouched nearby. “The potions – you should –” Astarion silences your protests with a kiss as his lips crash into yours, his fangs grazing your lower lip as he gives you a playful nibble. “Was,” he corrects with a growl. His lips move softly against your mouth, reluctant to part from you for even a moment. “I assure you that I'm feeling quite… invigorated now, darling. All thanks to you, of course. And what a delectable little treat you are.” ────────── Astarion goes down in a fight. Back at camp, he has some... ideas about how you might help him recover.

AO3 ┊ masterlist

The sounds of battle echo all around you, a flurry of steel, magic, and claws. The air sizzles with the distinct tang of the Weave as you cast spell after spell, hurtling bolts of fire and ice at the pack of gnolls that has descended upon your small party.

The four of you had quickly been overtaken and separated from one another; Gale and Shadowheart are somewhere out of sight, but you've managed to fight your way back towards Astarion, felling no less than ten gnolls in the process. The ground is littered with corpses; it's no small miracle that none of them belong to you or your friends.

The final gnoll wails as your flames sear its fur and singe its flesh, nearly burning to ash as its body finally gives out and succumbs to its injuries. Astarion's profile finally comes into focus, as does the massive gnoll he's currently face to face with.

The leader of the pack, from the looks of it.

You can't quite hear what Astarion says to it from this distance, but his expression twists into a grimace as he bares his fangs, daggers eager to slake their thirst with its blood.

A peal of laughter tears itself from the gnoll’s throat, a high-pitched, chittering sound that rings harshly in your ears. It bares its yellowed teeth back at Astarion, lips stretched thin over its stinking maw. 

With its paw raised, you watch as the gnoll takes a single swipe at him; Astarion's reaction is immediate, one of his daggers arching upwards in a flourish as he deflects it with expert precision. The beast rains blows down upon him in quick succession, and Astarion staggers back towards the edge of the cliff face behind him each time his blades glance off its claws.

The gnoll rears up once more, but Astarion has already anticipated the trajectory of its next attack. Its paw sails over Astarion's head as he sinks into a crouch with all the grace of the nimble predator he is, and he slices into its matted fur just as it stumbles backwards and narrowly avoids a more fatal wound. It snarls, undaunted, as it waits for another opening. One wrong move could send them both tumbling into the abyss below.

Panic grips your heart like a vise. The bolt of fire you summon in your palm sputters weakly, the last dregs of your magic all but exhausted. You will it to burn as hot as you can, and the flames lick your skin as you cradle it protectively in your palm.

You must aim carefully, you know, or you risk hitting Astarion.

Your footfalls are light as you approach the gnoll from its blind spot, downwind and creeping low to the ground as Astarion had taught you. Locked in its battle with Astarion, it doesn't seem to notice your approach – until the telltale cracking of a branch beneath your boot alerts its sensitive hearing. Its ears swivel in your direction, head whirling around to spot you no more than twenty paces away.

The lapse in judgment is all Astarion needs, and he slips a blade cleanly between the gnoll’s ribs with a single thrust, puncturing its heart. It howls in agony, the sound of it slicing through the air as easily as Astarion's dagger. As it stumbles back to claw at the dagger in its chest, Astarion's eyes meet yours for the briefest of moments, and you see your own relief mirrored in his expression.

Relief that fades the moment the gnoll surges forward and rakes its claws across Astarion's armor, shredding through the leather as if it were nothing more than paper.

You watch in horror as Astarion teeters forward and drops to his knees, bloodstained and broken. The effort of holding his body up is a task he no longer has the strength for, and he collapses into the dirt, motionless.

Rage explodes within you, white-hot and all-consuming. The fire in your palm is extinguished when you clench your fists and break into a sprint, manifesting what's left of your magic to get you to Astarion as quickly as possible.

With the aid of Misty Step, you blink into being behind the gnoll with a burst of crackling Weave, snatching Astarion's second dagger from the ground. It twists around on unsteady feet to face you, but its strength is already waning. The force of your initial blow buries Astarion's dagger into its flank, but it's not enough to quench your anger. Blood sprays into your eyes as you wrench the dagger free, blinding you momentarily before you wipe your hand over your face. Another blow to its chest earns you another wretched howl of pain; a third, which you aim at its throat, is what permanently silences it.

The blade slices cleanly across its neck, and a twisted sense of satisfaction takes hold of you as you watch it topple backwards, its heart finally giving out as it collapses into a crumpled heap at your feet.

Your lungs burn as you catch your breath, the adrenaline coursing through your body finally subsiding. It's then that you realize that Astarion isn't moving. You fall to your knees beside him, tears pricking your eyes.

Beneath what remains of his tattered armor, you can see how deeply he's been wounded, blood pouring from the gouges on his chest. The rich red of it looks ghastly in contrast to his marble skin.

“Astarion,” you plead, shaking him. “Astarion, stay with me!”

Your first instinct is to look for Shadowheart, and your stomach turns when you spot her far across the battlefield, back-to-back with Gale as they fend off a trio of smaller gnolls. There isn't enough time to get to her, and the thought of leaving Astarion, even for a moment, is unthinkable.

Reaching into your pack, you retrieve your last remaining healing potion, uncorking the bottle with your teeth as you tip Astarion's head back. His mouth falls open, and you bring the potion to his lips, trying not to dwell on the exceptionally pallid color of his complexion.

The crimson liquid sloshes over the lip of the bottle and into Astarion's mouth, and although he appears to swallow some of it, most of what you pour out spills uselessly down the side of his face.

Because he doesn't need to breathe, you can't tell if you've already lost him. You don't know if he's colder than usual or if it's simply a cruel trick your mind is playing on you. A sob bubbles in your throat, but when your eyes sweep over your trembling, bloodstained hands, an idea sparks to life within your frantic mind.

Blood.

Your blood has saved Astarion before – in far less perilous circumstances, of course, but that doesn't stop you from reaching for one of Astarion's daggers and wiping it clean on the front of your robes. The blade gleams like a silver tooth in the sunlight, poised to bite into your skin as you hold it over your open palm. You inhale a breath as you drag the blade across your skin, hissing through clenched teeth as a line of bright red blood blooms in its wake.

“Please,” you whisper, appealing to any god who might be listening. A few drops of crimson splash over Astarion's lips as you bring your hand to them, letting your blood flow into his mouth. You watch him, stilled by an overwhelming sense of dread. An ember of hope kindles in your heart as you feel his tongue sweep across the wound on your palm, his throat bobbing as he swallows your offering to him.

“Astarion?”

You call his name softly, watching for the moment his eyes finally flutter open. You've never been so happy to see those deep, swirling pools of ruby red as he looks up at you, exhausted but alive. You can't stop the tears that finally spill over your cheeks, embarrassed to be in such a state after everything that's happened. But none of it matters because he is still with you.

With shaky fingers, reach for his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. Astarion's expression flickers across his face, settling somewhere between relief and amusement.

“Hello, darling,” he murmurs, voice cracking with the effort it takes him to speak. He licks the rest of your blood from his lips. “What did I miss?”

────────────────────

By the time you return to camp, freshly washed and dressed in a clean set of robes, the sun has already begun its descent over the horizon.

Most of your companions are busy milling about, attending to their nightly rituals, but Shadowheart’s absence must mean that she is still with Astarion. As you approach his tent on the far edge of the clearing, you hear a pair of familiar voices within, bickering loudly with one another.

“Will you – ow! Must you be so rough?” Astarion gripes, and you spot the distinct glow of Shadowheart’s magic through the dark red canvas. It dances like a moth around a flame, presumably guided between Shadowheart's hands as she attempts to heal Astarion's wounds.

“If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were actually trying to finish me off.”

Shadowheart sighs audibly at him.

“Don't tempt me, Astarion,” she grumbles back. “Gods know it would spare us from your bleating.”

You can practically hear Astarion seething at Shadowheart from inside his tent. Overhearing the commotion, Karlach claps a hand over her mouth in a futile attempt to muffle her snickering laughter, and even Gale seems to be having himself a chuckle as he watches the cookpot by the fire.

If Astarion still has the energy to complain, his wounds must be far less serious than you initially expected. Your shoulders relax, the tension ebbing away when you sigh with relief. You hadn't even noticed how worried you were until your jaw unclenches, leaving you with nothing but a lingering ache.

Shadowheart greets you as she slips outside Astarion's tent, her exhaustion evident in the dark circles around her eyes and her wan expression. What little energy she had left had likely been expended tending to Astarion, and you smile warmly in thanks.

“I've done all I can for tonight,” she tells you. “He's stable, but make sure he drinks the potions I've left him. I’ll see to the rest of his injuries in the morning, once I've recovered my strength.”

Fortunately, the rest of your companions have been spared a similar fate, bone-weary and bruised, but intact. You flex your fingers, the last vestiges of pain from the wound on your palm hardly more than a memory now. Shadowheart's braid whips around her shoulders as she turns towards the fire, enticed by the smell of whatever Gale's prepared for supper.

“Thank you, Shadowheart,” you say. “I know Astarion appreciates your help, even if he's not the best at showing it.”

She nods curtly but says nothing more, leaving you alone outside Astarion's tent. Here on the outskirts of camp, the atmosphere is notably dreary.

You feel unexpectedly on edge as you lift back the tent flap and slip inside, uncertain what you will find. Seated on his bedroll clothed only from the waist down, his eyes soften somewhat as he glances up at you. Most of his chest is wrapped in fresh bandages, but their pristine condition tells you that his wounds must have closed by now. His movements are a little stiff, but beyond that he seems no worse for wear. There are a few remaining nicks and scrapes scattered across his shoulders and the bridge of his nose, but those, at least, are largely superficial.

You kneel quietly beside him, smoothing your skirts. 

“How are you feeling?”

Astarion studies you for a moment before he leans back on his hands, head tipped playfully to the side.

“Were you worried, darling? How cute.”

You narrow your eyes at him and scowl, huffing a sigh through your nose. Astarion finds your indignation highly amusing, a single fang flashing from behind his lips as a wide grin spreads across his face.

“I saw what you did to that gnoll, you know,” he says casually after a moment, a blatant attempt to redirect your attention. “Before I lost consciousness.” There's a strange sincerity to his voice, but the moment is gone when he sits upright and leans towards you, resting his face in his hand and balancing an elbow on his knee.

He looks exceptionally mischievous when he says, “I admire your enthusiasm, but I must say, your form was terrible. Might I suggest mastering a butter knife before you try wielding a real weapon?”

“I'll remember that the next time I'm saving your life,” you quip back, waving your hand at him dismissively. But his easy smile disarms you and diffuses your anger as it always does, and you find it hard to stay mad at him for long. If anything were to happen to him, you'd miss his teasing – a fact that you don't plan on sharing, lest it turn him into more of a menace than he already is.

A quiet calm descends over you both, and you feel Astarion watching you as you glance around his tent, purposely avoiding eye contact.

“Come here for a moment, won't you?” Astarion asks suddenly, patting his thigh. You shoot him a questioning glance but climb into his lap nevertheless, mindful not to touch him any more than you need to. He inhales sharply when you put just a little too much pressure on his chest, and you quickly apologize before resting your hands politely in your lap. His intentions become clear the moment he sweeps your damp hair behind your ear and exposes the smooth column of your throat. His fingers ghost over your skin as if he's appraising you, delicate and cool the touch.

 “May I, darling?”

Your heart flutters like a caged bird beneath your ribs when he slides his hand into the hair at the nape of your neck, nails dragging slowly over your scalp. His fingers weave through the soft strands, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

You angle your neck for him, baring the faded twin scars that mark you as his.

“Yes, of course,” you tell him. “Take as much as you need.”

“Wonderful.”

Although Astarion typically enjoys the prelude to the bite as much as the act itself, tonight he's in no mood to be patient. His mouth slots over your pulse point, the rush of warm blood just beneath your skin coaxing a low groan from his cool lips. When his fangs pierce your throat, your breath catches, but he's ever-so-gentle with you as his tongue darts out to collect the first drops of blood that well to the surface.

You feel a change in Astarion's demeanor the moment he tastes you, the hand cradling your head tightening its grip and tugging you closer to him. He inhales sharply, face buried in your neck as he takes several greedy pulls of your blood, feasting like a man starved. Your whole body resonates with the groan that erupts from his throat, the wet glide of his tongue over the puncture marks in your skin coaxing a wanton noise of pleasure from your own.

Your bodies are pressed so closely together now that when his hips roll forward, you feel the unmistakable glide of his clothed cock as he ruts against you, seeking pleasure in more than just your blood. The full length of him swells against you with every swallow as your blood courses through his body, a fact that he is clearly eager to draw to your attention.

Your mind reels, overcome with sensation.

“Really, Astarion?” you admonish him, hands trailing gingerly over the bandages that wrap tightly around the sculpted muscles of his chest. “Right now?” But your voice is strained, despite your best efforts, a thinly-veiled protest at best.

“Why not?” Astarion murmurs salaciously against your neck, lapping at the last trickles of blood that spill down towards your collarbones. “I know you want this too, darling. I can taste it in your blood.”

Another quick thrust of his hips between your parted thighs almost makes you reconsider, but your errant thoughts snag on whatever modicum of sense you have left.

“That's not the point,” you remind him tersely, trying your best to look stern. Your face feels hot with the flush that slowly creeps up your neck and stains your cheeks a bright pink.

Astarion pulls away from you with one last press of his tongue against your flushed skin, purposely dragging a slow, wet stripe along the column of your throat. It's clear from the look on his face, all confident smirk and arched brows, that Astarion doesn't believe a word you've said.

“Isn't it?” he hums with a click of his tongue. An idle hand works its way beneath your skirts, and you lose all composure as his fingers dip between your thighs to find you wet and wanting. He can feel how soaked you are through the thin cotton fabric of your underwear, teasing you with purposely slow strokes of his thumb. You press your lips together into a thin line, but you can't hope to suppress the helpless little whine you make for him.

His eyes pin you in place, wine-dark and hungry. You're left with no option but to look at him as he watches you carefully, considering. “Or are we going to pretend that you're not aching for my cock already?” His voice is honey-sweet, rich and thick and sinfully decadent.

“It would be such a shame to waste all this blood, you know.”

His cock twitches eagerly against your stomach. You picture the way it would feel, buried inside your cunt as he thrusts up and into you, over and over again, the way he always –

“Y-you’re hurt, Astarion,” you insist with far less emphasis than you had intended, tearing your eyes away from his face with difficulty and looking towards the vials that still sit untouched nearby. “The potions – you should –”

Astarion silences your protests with a kiss as his lips crash into yours, his fangs grazing your lower lip as he gives you a playful nibble.

“Was,” he corrects with a growl. His lips move softly against your mouth, reluctant to part from you for even a moment. “I assure you that I'm feeling quite… invigorated now, darling. All thanks to you, of course. And what a delectable little treat you are.”

It's hard to argue when his tongue is doing such wonderful things to you, slipping into your mouth as he takes his time savoring your taste. He uses the hand anchored in your hair to tilt your head to the side once more, giving him better access. Satisfied with your compliance, he lets that same hand glide over your body, trailing first down the back of your neck before finding its way over the curve of your ribs and into the dip of your waist beneath the bulk of your flowing robes.

Warmed by your blood, his hand leaves you searing wherever it touches, little embers of desire flaring beneath his deft fingers as they dance across your skin. You are nothing more than kindling, ready to erupt.

The timber of his voice changes with the noise that rumbles in his throat, low and practically primal. Your body responds on instinct, hips rocking forward against the hand he still has pressed against your swollen clit.

The friction renders you delirious as your entire body sings in pleasure. The needy little whimper that tumbles past your lips only serves to strengthen Astarion's resolve, tugging the corners of his mouth into a wicked grin.

“Now,” he purrs, “be a dear and indulge me. Or don't, and leave both of us unsatisfied.”

You answer him not with words but with actions, capturing his wrist at the same time you claim his mouth in a clumsy, passionate kiss. He returns the gesture as you guide his hand up and over your chest, sighing with relief as he deftly unbuttons the front of your robes and palms your bare breast beneath. The fabric pools around your waist as Astarion slips the garment off of your shoulders, and you feel your nipples stiffen into peaks in the cool evening air.

Astarion takes his mouth off of you only for a fleeting moment, bending down to encircle a single nipple with his lips and flicking the taut bud with the tip of his tongue. His hands too, are busy bringing you pleasure, one tugging your underwear aside to allow him to slip a finger inside your waiting cunt while the other massages your unattended breast.

“More?” he asks with a voice like velvet, delighted by the whimpering moans that tumble unabated from your open mouth.

“More,” you repeat, arching your back in such a way that pushes you further still into both his hand and his mouth. A second finger joins his first, slipping past your entrance as he buries himself deep. You cry out, throwing your head back as pleasure wracks your writhing body.

Your hands fly to the laces of his trousers, fumbling to untie them. You lack the grace of his experienced fingers, but you manage well enough, hand wrapped around the base of his cock as it springs free from its confines. Astarion shows his appreciation by biting down on the tender part of your breast, hissing through his teeth as you begin to stroke him.

“Eager little pup,” he laughs. “Shall I tell you what I plan to do to you?” 

“Gods, yes,” you groan, admiring the way he feels in your hand, heavy, warm, and so deliciously hard.

“I’m going to fill you with my cock,” he murmurs, sliding his fingers out of your soaking cunt before pushing them back inside, purposely slow as he stretches you wide. “Just. Like. This.”

You see stars when he crooks his fingers inside you, teasing your most sensitive spot. His cock jumps in your hand when you moan his name, precome spilling over your fingers as you increase the pace of your eager strokes.

“And then,” he whispers against your ear, “I'm going to fuck you. Would you like that, my love?”

Your entire body is on fire, drunk on the scent of his perfume, the sensuality of his voice, the feel of him in you and on you. You reach for his face to kiss him again, equally desperate to lose yourself in his taste. 

“Yes,” you assert, running your tongue over a pointed fang. “Yes.”

Astarion’s fingers are moving inside you again, plunging deep within your heated core. Your cunt flutters around him, the inevitable precipice of your unraveling imminent. You mirror each of his thrusts with a stroke of your hand over the full length of him, mounting your pleasure together.

Through the haze of your delirium, a thought occurs to you.

“Wait,” you plead, “not yet.” Astarion's eyes find yours, narrowed beneath his lashes as he struggles not to bring you to the release both of you know you need.

“Bite me again.” Your voice is husky and dripping with desire, a flicker of mischief in your expression. “You said before that you can taste it, right? How badly I want you?”

You watch as his eyes flick to the puncture marks on your neck, ringed with the faintest trace of crimson from before.

“Don't you want to know what I'll taste like when you make me come?”

The hand Astarion slips behind your back crushes you against his chest, face buried against your neck to muffle his languid groan. Whatever pain he feels from his injuries is drowned out by the wave of desire that washes over him.

“Gods, above,” he hisses. His fangs graze your skin, a heady concoction of pleasure and pain. “Wicked woman.”

“Drink, Astarion.”

He sinks his fangs into you once more and you feel his tongue as it eagerly moves to gather the first trickle of your blood. His fingers resume their relentless pace, teasing that sensitive spot inside you with every upstroke. You release his cock, requiring both hands to steady yourself as you throw them around his shoulders and grind your hips desperately against him.

“Astarion.” Your voice is thin, strained from the effort of speaking as you find yourself once more on the precipice, an inferno erupting within you. He groans your name between pulls of your blood, the most beautiful sound you've ever heard.

When at last you let go, you release a strangled cry, dragging your nails down the expanse of his back as your cunt clenches tightly around his fingers. You can tell the moment he tastes the change in your blood, his body stiffening as he drinks more greedily than he ever has before. His Adam's apple bobs with every swallow, the blood loss heightening your euphoria even as you slowly come down from your high.

When your movements finally slow, Astarion retreats from your neck, chest heaving with shuddering little breaths. Your eyes catch his, soft and round and reverent, as he takes your face gently in the palm of his hand.

“That was…”

“Incredible?” you prompt. “I know. It always is, with you.”

It's rare to see Astarion at a loss for words, and you huff a satisfied little laugh, leaning forward to taste the remnants of your blood on his tongue as he slowly kisses you back. He tastes of salt and iron; in a word, intoxicating.

“Your cock,” you say drowsily, hand slipping between your sweat-slicked bodies. “You promised–”

Astarion whisks your robes away, lifting you by the hips and positioning you directly above his eager cock. His fingers glide over your skin, slipping beneath the waistband of your underwear as he pulls them over the swell of your backside. You lift your legs to assist him, and he laughs affectionately at the dizzy little way you sway back and forth in his lap.

“My love,” he begins, hands holding you firm. “Are you certain this is what you want? We can always –”

Stubborn indignation surges within you, and you lean precariously to the side and swipe one of the potions Shadowheart had left for Astarion, uncorking it dramatically before downing the entire vial in seconds. The bitter taste makes you grimace, but you immediately feel your strength returning, a newfound vigor returning to your weary muscles.

“I don't want to wait if you don't,” you murmur softly against his lips. “And I want to make you feel good too.”

“You are insatiable,” he says affectionately, pressing tender kisses against your lips and the curve of your jaw, coaxing a long, satisfied sigh from you as you relax against his chest. “Very well, then.”

With your senses sharpened by the healing potion, the glide of his cock through your slick folds is the sweetest pleasure. Your wetness spills down your thighs, and you tremble in anticipation as Astarion's eyes rake up the length of your naked body and settle on your face. They flare like the fires of the hells themselves as he enters you, every delicious inch of his cock stretching you open.

Astarion goans as your pulsing heat envelopes him, mouth falling slack. With his hands on your hips, he seats himself fully inside you, reveling in the way your body molds to his shape.

“Hells,” he huffs, raising your hips up before slamming you back down onto the full length of his cock as he surges up to meet you. “I had… almost forgotten…” he mutters, near incoherent between thrusts, “how tight you are.”

“It hasn't been that long,” you laugh, your composure held together by little more than a single thread as he thrusts himself hard and deep. “Are you sure you didn't hit your head back there?”

Astarion rolls his eyes dramatically, but the wide, lopsided grin that splits his face betrays his true thoughts on the matter.

“I think I liked you better when you were helplessly moaning my name, darling,” he chides, sing-song as he rolls his hips deliciously against you. The blunt head of his cock repeatedly brushes over the spot that makes you whimper, and your eyes go wide before you throw back your head with a guttural moan of pleasure.

“That's more like it,” Astarion gloats. “Much better.”

Your hands meet the solid wall of muscle beneath his bandages when you push him away, and Astarion lets out a disgruntled yelp as his back hits the bedroll. You lean over him, smirking triumphantly.

“And I think I like you better on your back.”

Astarion opens his mouth to retaliate, but he gets no farther than that before you give your hips a languid little roll, his eyes immediately transfixed by the way your breasts bounce when your back arches forward.

“Keep doing that,” he hisses, hands digging into the softest part of your thighs, “and you can have me whichever way you'd like.”

You want to rest your palms on his abdomen to give yourself more leverage, and Astarion spots the way you hover your hands hesitantly over his stomach. Now that the light in his tent catches his body just right, it's easy enough to see he's still bruised beneath the bandages, and the last thing you want to do is cause him any further injury.

Astarion makes the decision for you, reaching for your hands and interlocking your fingers with his. With Astarion as your anchor, you set an easy pace, guiding yourself up and back down the length of his cock, with only the sounds of your soft moans and the wet slap of skin-on-skin between you. His eyes flutter closed for a brief moment, and you're not even certain he realizes how serene he looks beneath you, the softness of his smile and the affectionate little way he keeps squeezing your hands.

“You're beautiful, Astarion.” It's an effortless admission, as true as it is simple. He's the most beautiful man you've ever seen, made even more astonishing by the way he gives himself to you so completely.

“Tell me something I don't know, darling.”

He's deflecting, of course, still uncertain what to do with such an honest declaration. He's heard it a thousand times before, but never as sweetly as the way you tell him.

“I mean it.”

Astarion's lips are still warm when you kiss him, and his hands slip from yours to cup your face. His forehead is sticky with sweat, pressed so gently against your brow as he sighs contentedly into your mouth. The journey to the swell of your hips is something he knows by heart, and he holds you firmly in place as he thrusts up into you, unwilling to deny himself the pleasures of your body for any longer.

Braced with your forearms on either side of his head, you let him piston into you, your entire body trembling as his cock slides home again, and again, and again. Astarion can feel the tightness in your core, the same way he can feel his own approaching release. When his fingers mercifully find your clit, you come for him again with a shuddering moan, face buried in his neck to muffle the sound of it.

Astarion tumbles headfirst after you, unable to hold himself back when the slick walls of your cunt contract around him. He spills himself inside you, pulling your body down on top of his chest to feel the rapid beating of your heart.

When both of you have stilled, you push yourself upright, sitting back on your heels with his cock still fully seated inside you. Astarion's expression widens at the sudden concern on your face, his eyes following the path of your gaze to the blood that's begun seeping through his bandages. 

“Well, that certainly can't be good,” Astarion sighs, wincing slightly as you prod lightly at the open wound. “You're not helping, darling.”

“I did warn you, you know,” you remark. “It's a shame you never listen to me.”

“If I had listened to you, where would you be?” Astarion counters with a fanged smirk. “Sprawled in your bedroll with a hand between your legs, lamenting that it wasn't my co–”

“All right, all right!” you shush him with a hand over his mouth, heaving a sigh. “I'm sure Shadowheart will be thrilled when she finds out.”

“You wouldn't dare,” he blurts. There is genuine panic in his expression now. He sits halfway up as if to stop you from marching out of his tent and announcing your sins to the entire camp, but you don't bother stopping him when he rests his hands on the small of your back.

“If you're trying to buy my silence, you'll have to try harder than that,” you tease, poking him directly in the chest. “And my services don't come cheap.”

“Oh, darling,” Astarion purrs, rising to the challenge. He twists the pair of you around so he has the advantage, pressing you down beneath him as he climbs over your body and leans down to kiss you again.

“I'm just getting started.”

[ninibeingdelulu]

A sweet future ✧

Plot: You share a romantic moment with your boyfriend.

The soft strains of jazz misted through the living room like a hushed reverie as you laxly awaited your boyfriend's return.

With Emi - the impossibly huge yet sweet-natured kaiju you'd taken under your wings - finally settled down for the night in her reinforced basement enclosure, you eagerly anticipated reuniting with Kenji again alone.

These quiet reprieves had proven increasingly scarce over the harried past few weeks since welcoming the orphaned, radioactive creature into your lives.

Between your demanding day jobs and the round-the-clock regimen of feeding, cleaning up after, and just generally caring for your colossal new "baby," alone time had dwindled to precious few stolen moments like these.

You perked up instantly at the telltale thud of Kenji's footfalls padding up the stairwell, a contented smile brightening your features at his familiar silhouette emerging from the shadows.

Without hesitation, he crossed the distance separating you in a few easy strides - his arms encircling your smaller frame in a snug, demonstrative embrace.

"Hey..."

Kenji exhaled the hushed greeting against the juncture of your neck and shoulder, his solid warmth enveloping you like a calming salve after the chaos of recent days.

Instinctively nuzzling into the comforting expanse of his chest, you wound your own arms around his waist to tether him even closer.

"These last few weeks..." His lush baritone reverberated through your skin, laden with a weary sort of fondness.

"I feel like we haven't had any time just for us anymore."

A sympathetic chuckle bubbled up unbidden from the very core of your being.

Tilting your head back, you peered up at his striking visage awash in the amber glow of the flickering firelight - admiring the austere cut of those steely features you'd come to love so fiercely.

"Well, we do have a baby to care for now," you teased lightly, tender smile never faltering as you laced your fingers through the dark silk of his tousled locks.

"Even if she's not exactly a normal child...and not our own flesh and blood, I suppose little Emi has been rather excellent practice, hasn't she?"

Kenji absorbed your whimsical riposte in contemplative silence for a lingering beat as a pensive furrow cinched his brow.

You felt him subtly shift closer, scarcely a hairsbreadth of space remaining between your molded silhouettes now while his eyes smoldered with an intensity you couldn't quite parse.

"You..." he rumbled at last in little more than a gravelly murmur thickened with naked emotion.

"You really want kids one day? A family of our own...?"

The fragility of hope bleeding into his beloved baritone caressed something profoundly elemental in your very essence.

Without hesitation, you nodded - tongue darting out to wet your lips in a reflexively unconscious gesture.

"Of course I do, Kenji," you hushed back with a roll of your eyes, though the indulgent teasing underlying your tone was achingly tender and sincere.

Winding your arms around the strong column of his neck, you pulled him instinctively closer with a near-desperate sort of adoration.

"I want to raise our babies - happy, healthy children with a mom and dad that will always be there for them. As many wonderful little ones as we can handle...but only with you, baby."

Kenji let out a shuddering, nearly imperceptible breath at your passionate declaration, eyes falling briefly shut as the profound emotion streaked across those chiseled features in vivid strokes.

For several weighted heartbeats, the only sounds were your mingled pulses thundering in tandem as the revelations of your entwined future dreams sunk in.

Then, there was the first gentlest swell of sultry jazz piped through the living room speakers - the rich, soulful brass curving into existence by some ambient hand like a spirit invocation.

An unexpected accompaniment, but the melancholy melody undulated through the aura surrounding you and Kenji like the physical manifestation of your commingled desires.

As if inexplicably magnetized, you instinctively relaxed further into his solid anchoring - forehead pillowing against his sternum while his chin tucked atop the crown of your head.

One of his palms settled warm and broad against the lower curve of your spine to steady you closer still.

The two of you gradually swaying in unhurried tandem to the sensual pulse of the music safeguarding your profound quiet.

"I want that too, beautiful," your beloved confided reverently amidst the downy swirl of your hair - the words blooming to life like a flower unfurling before the first warming rays of daybreak.

"A real family...happy, healthy babies with your beaming smile to wake up to everyday..."

You felt the tender press of his lips mapping an achingly tender imprint to your crown.

"God, you have no idea how often I've dreamed of that blessed future with you."

Cradling his jaw to guide his features back into your sightline, you simply basked in the naked sincerity swimming in those amber-flecked depths.

No more profound oaths were required in that suspended instance.

Just the seamless glide of your interwoven forms locked in a silent avowal.

Just the lush rhythm of the mournful melody igniting the very air around you like a physically manifested miasma of your eternal and unbreakable devotion.

Gazes smoldering with infinite reverence, you molded your lips to Kenji's in a searing, unhurried sacrament sealing your unified dreams of a lifetime overflowing with life, laughter, and wondrous hope...

[nahla-art]

Took me over a month but I finally finished working on this comic based on a scene from The Penguin And The Peacock!

original text under cut

Oswald quickly found himself overwhelmed with the party and once he found an opening he slipped away to the back alley for a smoke. 

He admired the cane as he smoked, and took peace in the chill Gotham air and the quiet that surrounded it. There was a certain sense of emptiness that hung heavy in the air, and he let it settle over his shoulder. He may have been a king, but Gotham was a god, and he bent to her commands.

“ Long and elegant, she settles comfortably between your hands. You share a kiss, and she leaves your lips ashen-cold. You chase her for a second, knowing that she’d drop poison into your chest.” A voice spoke up somewhere close, and Oswald felt air stolen from his chest. 

He turned around sharply and spoke softly, “ A cigarette.” 

Edward Nygma stood at the end of the alley in a bright green suit. His presence overwhelmed the city. As The Riddler’s heavy footfalls shrunk the distance between them, Oswald made out more of his physique. Wild unkempt hair shone under the blue iceberg lights, and purple bruises dotted his cheekbone. Oswald wanted to reach out and touch his cheek. He wanted Edward to hiss at the contact but lean into his palm regardless. Every cell in his being called out to him, and all he could do was hold onto his cane so he wouldn’t fall over.

“ You’re out,” Edward said, close but not close enough.

Oswald swallowed, pushing the cigarette into the wall, afraid he’d burn his fingers, “ I’m out.” 

Edward didn’t look at him, not really, “ You had a fun stay.” 

“ I managed,” Oswald said, slight irritation building under his skin,  “ You’ve had a busy schedule.” 

“ I made my presence known as The Riddler, as you made yours as The Penguin.” 

Oswald said nothing, not really sure what to say. His mind screeched.

Edward opened up his palm, angling his head at the cane. Oswald wordlessly handed it over, mind getting stuck on the slight brush of their fingers.

Edward whistled, hands tracing the dents and the scratches, “ The late Don Falcone kept it in his manor, did you know that? “ 

“ I didn’t,” Oswald said, words small and breath too shallow. 

“ You took your revenge from him, and from Sofia, Etchison, Dent, and Ogilvy,” Edward said, hands on the cane, “ Even the landlord that insulted your mother once suffered for her sin,” 

Something felt off. Something felt cold. Oswald couldn’t look at him. 

“ You’re a funny one, Mr Cobblepot,” Edward said, looming over him, “ You cast judgment. You carry out punishment. For your mother’s death, you burned Gotham to the ground.  You blamed Don Falcone, you blamed Sofia, you blamed the city but you didn’t think to blame yourself— Oomf!”

Oswald pushed Edward to the wall. His whole body shook with the act, and he clenched his teeth as his eyes and Edward’s finally met.

He never knew brown could look so cold.

He held Edward’s collar and glared at him, “ I’m not sure what game you’re playing, Riddler, but you’re crossing the line there.” 

Edward smiled, empty, “ Now? Now I’ve crossed a line? After all I’ve done to you? “ Edward’d thumb traced the scar stretching under Oswald’s right eye, and the latter flinched, “ I hurt you, Penguin, I took away the kingdom you built with your blood and sweat. I turned your friends against you. I caged you in the deepest cycle in hell.” 

Oswald’s mind reeled in mixed confusion and anger. He pushed His fist against Edward’s chest. The other man’s hand fell to his shoulder and down to his coat. Oswald didn’t stop him, because despite it all he trusted him. Edward’s hand slipped into his inside pocket and swiftly pulled out Oswald’s pocket knife. With a click, he opened it and placed the handle into Oswald’s palm while the blade’s tip touched Edward’s abdomen.

It was only then that Oswald stopped him. He let go of Edward’s shirt and held his wrist instead to stop whatever this was. Edward’s other hand clasped over his. They held hands, warm in the coldness of it all, even with the blade settled between them.

“ You burned half of Dent’s face. You took Sofia’s family. You destroyed Ogilvy— Everyone who hurt you met their punishment” Edward said softly, pulling the blade towards him. It wouldn’t be enough to spill his guts, but Oswald couldn’t help but imagine all the blood and gore.

“ Almost everyone,” Edward was close enough, his breath felt warm, “ Almost. ”

“I—“ Oswald stammered, as his hand shook. He could kill him. He could kill Edward, “ What are you—“ 

“ Do it.” Edward said firmly, hands gripping Oswald’s with hurtful tightness, “ Oswald. ” 

Oswald breathed, in and out, “ You want me to— You want me to kill you?” 

Edward didn’t answer, or move. It felt like the very air turned to ice.

Oswald tried to pull his hand away, but Edward’s hold was firm. Now that the anger in his chest subsided and was replaced with worry, Oswald noticed how much Edward shook against him. He breathed heavily, and his stomach expanded against Oswald’s knuckles.

“ Edward?” Oswald asked softly. Edward lowered his eyes, biting his lips as he held onto Oswald, “ Eddie. What— what are you doing?” 

“ You have to kill me.” Edward said, broken, “ Please, Oswald. I can’t—”

“ I—”

“ Is this my punishment?” Edward asked, voice small, “ For you to not spare a glance?”

“ I don’t understand what you’re saying—“ 

Edward took a deep breath, hands shaking, “ It’s driving me nuts! I’m not sure what you’re going to do. How you’re going to … Punish me. Maybe this is it— You’re tormenting me with my own mind, but I want it to end. I want to stop thinking. For the sake of our friendship, be kind to me.” 

“ Edward I’m not punishing you,” Oswald said shakily, taking advantage of Edward’s small moment of weakness to step away, “ I’m not— there is no punishment for you. “

Edward blinked, “ What are you— This doesn’t make any sense. You have to punish me.”

“ but I don’t want to.”

“ Why?” Edward pulled him in again, bringing the knife to his throat, “ Stop this. Please I’m— I don’t. Oswald please .”  

“ I love you.” Oswald said softly, “ It’s- that’s why. I love you. You’re forgiven.” 

” You’re lying.”

“ I’m not.” 

“ This is cruel,” Edward’s breath hitched, “ You’re—“ 

“ I loved you for long,” Oswald titled his hand, the one holding the knife, so he could wipe Edward’s tears without hurting him, “ I loved you even before we met.” 

“ How is that possible?” 

“ I was born with a hole in my heart that fits your measurements. I longed for you before I could breathe.” 

“ Stop— Stop it.” Edward gritted his teeth, “ You can’t lie to me.”

“ I’m not lying.” 

“ Then prove it.” 

Oswald took a moment to settle his nerves and look at Edward. His nose grew red and runny whenever he cried. His eyes were wide and swollen. There were hints of crow's feet at their corners. He couldn’t fathom how someone so divine could believe himself unlovable. He couldn’t fathom how he dared to plant that belief into him.

“ I thought you were charming the day we met.” He said softly, smiling at the memory.

“ You called me funny.”  Edward sniffled.

“ and I meant it,” Oswald said firmly,  “ No one made me laugh as much as you did. When you worked at the Gazette, you made the crosswords and wrote the trivia section. I was slow, but I tried to solve every puzzle, and I laughed at every pun you hid in the text. I remember the title of every article you wrote there.

Edward stammered, “ That’s a lie. No one liked those. No one could—-“

“ Trains. Parakeets. Beach balls. Strawberries.” Oswald listed in a whisper, a shared secret, “ Cotton, Trains again, Security systems. Lock picks. Lungs. Circles. Trains. You’ve written about trains 15 times. I found it endearing.” 

“ You’re just —“ Edward said, running out of breath, “ You’re just listing words. You- you memorized that just to convince me.” 

“ Why would I want to convince you? ” 

“ To punish me? To use me? ” 

“ I’m not pushing you!” Oswald groaned. He noticed the pocket knife between them and he wanted it gone. He threw it to the side and stepped back. He needed to breathe. 

“ I don’t want to manipulate you, or use you—I don’t want to do any of that.” 

“ You—“ Edward tugged at his hair, stepping towards him, “ What are you doing?” 

“ You insisted that I offer reasoning, and it is here.” Oswald huffed, throwing up his hands in frustration, “Edward Nygma, I don’t know what you’re trying to do. Why did you send that riddle to my hospital room?”

“ What are you talking about?” Edward frowned in genuine confusion.

“ I know that you sent the lawyers. I don’t know why you’re pretending that you don’t care, but I know it was you who sent them.”

“ How could you—“ 

“ You left a riddle!” Oswald said, “ In a green envelope! Even an idiot would know who it was.”

Edward looked small in a second, and his voice was even smaller as he said, “ I left a riddle?”

Oswald felt himself quiet down, “ You didn’t know?” 

Edward shook his head frantically. He scratched the inside of his wrist roughly, and Oswald wanted to stop him, but he was worried that anything he’d do would hurt him further.

“ You drive me insane, do you know that?” The alleyway was narrow. Edward was in front of him in an instant, hands clenched by his side,” You break me apart.” 

“ You asked me, Edward,” Oswald said shakily, backing away, “ You asked me to prove it to you.”  

Edward groaned loudly and pushed him to the wall. He held Oswald’s collar, and his knuckles brushed Oswald’s neck.

“ Threads.” Oswald fumbled, needing him to come closer ��� Orange trees. Batteries—“ 

“ You delve between my bones, Oswald,” Edward’s voice grew low and quiet, “ You keep wrecking me from the inside and I—“ 

Oswald took in a deep shaky breath, “ S-Skeletons, signals, telephones, trains again. Really, Edward, what is your deal with trains—”

In a split second, the impossible distance between them was shrunk to nothing. Edward’s lips met his with overwhelming starvation. Oswald’s stomach flipped as he pushed against him to match him. A hand dug into Edward’s side while the other held the back of his neck. Edward huffed and Oswald repositioned their heads for a better angle, to drive them deeper into the avalanche.

“ Textbooks. The Amazon forest. Pyramids, frogs.” 

Oswald continued his list whenever they paused for breath. Each kiss grew more rough and desperate, and when Edward whimpered against him and shivered all over, they grew softer and slower. Soon enough, Oswald found himself in a broken heap on the floor, holding Edward tightly and kissing his head as the latter sobbed into his chest. Oswald rubbed Edward’s back as he bit his lips to cage his own mourning.

“ I’m—” Edward’s voice broke off, “ You’re cruel, Oswald.”

“ I’m sorry—“ Oswald said, pulling away to hold Edward’s face in his hand, “ I’m sorry— I— I broke you. Didn’t I? You’re broken. ” 

Edward sniffed, his chest shuddered. 

[jmkjournalblog]

"Soulmates" Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing:Wednesday Addams x FemVampire! Reader

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes

Warnings: None

Y/n POV

The flashing lights and clamor of the Harvesting Festival surrounded us, each noise and vivid display feeling almost surreal compared to the shadowed stone walls of Nevermore.

After we left the mirror maze, I found myself walking alongside Enid and Yoko. Enid was practically vibrating with excitement as she flitted between booths, desperately trying to convince us to ride a garish-looking Ferris wheel or taste-test the vendors' multicolored sweets. I played along, amused at the sight of her hopping from stall to stall, though I couldn’t entirely shake the feeling that something was off.

Yoko walked at a more measured pace beside me, her crimson-tinted sunglasses casting a strange glow as the neon lights caught their reflection. She seemed content to keep a casual distance, her attention darting around with an almost predatory interest in the people around us.

“Do you always look this unimpressed?” I teased, bumping her shoulder lightly as we meandered past a ring-toss game.

She tilted her head, lips quirking. “Only when I’m surrounded by chaos. Nevermore’s a circus on good days. This? This is just… another layer.”

Enid popped up between us, holding a pair of steaming caramel apples. “Come on, you two! It’s not all bad. Y/n, you haven’t even smiled once.”

“I’ve smiled plenty,” I shot back, taking the apple from her and pretending to inspect it as if it might bite first. “It’s just hard to tell when I’m surrounded by so many vampires and rainbows.”

“Rude,” Enid huffed, though her playful glare didn’t last. She spotted another attraction—this one involving some kind of spinning ride—and bounded away, already calling out for us to follow. I chuckled under my breath and exchanged a glance with Yoko.

“I’m surprised you tolerate the glitter bomb,” she said, amusement coloring her words.

“It’s a strange dynamic,” I admitted, my tone light. “Maybe I have a weakness for contrasts.”

Before Yoko could respond, my attention was drawn away. Across the expanse of booths, weaving between carnival-goers with a dark, purposeful gait, was Wednesday. I watched her as she moved—silent, alone, eyes fixed on the edges of the forest beyond the fairgrounds. My senses, ever attuned, sharpened.

“Y/n?” Yoko’s voice brought me back, but my eyes remained on the retreating figure of Wednesday. She had nearly reached the shadows of the woods, the darkness swallowing her small frame. Whatever she was doing, it wasn’t good.

“Go on with Enid,” I said quietly, handing Yoko the apple I hadn’t bitten into. She raised an eyebrow, sensing my sudden shift in mood.

“Is this a hero thing, or...?” she asked, a trace of humor lacing her voice.

“It’s a me thing.” I offered her a thin smile and began walking away. “I’ll catch up later.”

Without waiting for a response, I moved toward the path that Wednesday had taken, the noise of the carnival fading behind me with each step.

The darkness of the forest greeted me like an old companion. Trees loomed high, their branches twisting and knotting together to block out much of the festival's light. The carnival sounds became a muffled murmur, as if I'd crossed a boundary into a world that shouldn’t coexist with the one of clowns, rides, and caramel apples.

Wednesday's figure flitted ahead, her black silhouette blending into the night. I kept my distance, careful to match her quiet footfalls. Whatever drew her into the forest had her moving like she was chasing—or being chased. It was unlike her to be so transparent, but it was also clear she was driven by something more than mere intrigue.

She glanced over her shoulder once, and I quickly stepped behind the thick trunk of an oak tree. My heartbeat sped up, adrenaline prickling beneath my skin. If she saw me following, she’d either ignore me or take it as a challenge. Either way, I wasn’t ready to let her out of my sight—not with whatever ominous weight hung over this moment.

Suddenly, a rustle in the underbrush pulled my attention. It was only then that I noticed how still the forest had become. No chirping insects. No night birds. Just silence.

Wednesday picked up her pace, slipping deeper into the woods. I cursed under my breath and quickened my own steps. Branches snagged at my clothes, and the cool air bit at my exposed skin. I focused on her movements, the sharp lines of her shoulders and the determined tilt of her head.

She came to an abrupt stop. In front of her, Rowan stood, eyes wide with a manic edge. I squinted, recognizing the anxious boy from school. His body seemed taut, ready to spring—like prey cornered by a predator. But Wednesday was not the predator here.

The wind shifted, and I caught their words.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Rowan hissed, his voice trembling with both fear and anger. He held a piece of paper clenched in his hand, but even from where I stood, I could see it was no ordinary scrap.

“Prophecies are meant to be broken,” Wednesday countered, her tone as cold as winter’s edge. “I’d think you, of all people, would know that.”

I took a step closer, every sense alert. I couldn’t yet see what drove Rowan’s desperation, but his power crackled in the air, and he was looking at Wednesday like she was his doom.

He raised a hand, and suddenly, she was pinned against a tree by some unseen force. The breath caught in my throat as I watched her struggle, her pale face set in a mask of grim determination.

“This isn’t about you, Wednesday,” Rowan said, sounding almost apologetic, though his eyes betrayed no mercy. “This is about saving us all.”

With that, he raised the crumpled paper high. “My mother saw it. You will destroy us.”

The wind howled around them. I edged closer, my instincts screaming at me to intervene, but before I could make a move, something crashed through the trees behind Rowan—a blur of snarling fury. The beast. It was large, hulking, and covered in coarse fur. I had heard rumors about such creatures, but seeing it was different—a nightmare given form.

In an instant, it was upon Rowan. He screamed, a chilling, guttural sound, as claws tore into him. Blood sprayed across the forest floor. I barely had time to react; Wednesday was freed from her telekinetic restraints and dropped to the ground, rolling away from the carnage.

The beast’s wild eyes locked with mine for a split second. It paused, as if recognizing me, before it bolted into the darkness, leaving only destruction in its wake. Rowan lay motionless, and the air was thick with metallic scent and dread.

I stepped forward, breathless, as Wednesday pushed herself up, her eyes colder than I’d ever seen them. She glanced at Rowan’s body, then at me. Her gaze was unreadable, but beneath it, I sensed a torrent of emotion she would never let surface. Anger, confusion, maybe even fear.

“You followed me,” she said, her voice low but pointed.

“You shouldn’t have gone alone,” I replied, matching her cool tone despite the whirlwind inside me.

She didn’t thank me, of course. That wasn’t Wednesday’s way. Instead, she turned her attention to the torn piece of prophecy clutched in Rowan’s lifeless grip, pulling it free with grim determination.

Third person POV -next day-

Wednesday’s eyes never betray emotion, but this morning they burn with cold determination. Rowan’s reappearance after the brutal encounter in the woods is not just unsettling—it’s infuriating. She stalks the stone halls of Nevermore with unyielding purpose, her boots striking against the floor like war drums. Y/n follows at a calculated distance, her steps silent but presence unmistakable.

“Would it kill you to make less noise?” Y/n drawls when Wednesday pauses by a Gothic archway to scan the students shuffling past. “People will think you’re trying too hard.”

“Like you?” Wednesday’s retort is venomous, but her eyes remain fixed on the hallway leading to Rowan’s dorm.

Y/n smirks, leaning against the cold stone with predatory grace. “You’re wasting your time with this alone act, Addams. You want answers. I can help you find them.”

“No.” Wednesday turns to face Y/n fully, her expression as cutting as a blade. “You want an excuse to meddle. There’s a difference.”

Y/n tilts her head, amusement playing in her dark eyes. “Touché.” She takes a step closer, her voice dropping to a low, provocative whisper. “But I’ll meddle whether you want me to or not. I find it thrilling to keep you… on edge.”

Before Wednesday can respond, the sound of muffled voices draws her attention. They slip into the shadows near Rowan’s dormitory, where Xavier’s unmistakable voice can be heard. The boy is arguing with Bianca in the hallway, their tones heated.

Wednesday’s hand darts out, signaling Y/n to stay quiet. Y/n raises an eyebrow but obeys, watching intently as Wednesday edges closer. When the door opens, Wednesday moves like a shadow, slipping inside while Y/n remains as a lookout. Wednesday’s gaze flits across the cluttered space until it settles on a notebook with an unmistakable emblem—a purple book symbol, just like the page Rowan had shown her.

A creak behind her makes her whip around, daggers practically shooting from her eyes. Y/n stands in the doorway now, her expression serious for once. “You have seconds, Addams. Move.”

Wednesday’s jaw tightens, but she slips the notebook into her satchel. Y/n steps back just in time. Xavier and Bianca’s footsteps echo in the hallway. The girls forced to hide under Rowan’s bed, their bodies forced close together. There’s barely an inch between them.

“If they find us,” Y/n murmurs, her breath hot against Wednesday’s ear, “I’ll say you dragged me in here. You do have a thing for secluded spaces.”

Wednesday’s pulse quickens, but she refuses to look away. “I’ve killed for less.”

“Make me believe it,” Y/n dares, eyes darkening.

The door creaked open, silencing their exchange. Heavy footsteps and the sound of voices filled the room as Xavier and Bianca entered mid-argument.

“Your little stunt at the Poe Cup doesn’t impress me, Bianca,” Xavier said, his tone edged with frustration.

Bianca scoffed, her voice laced with condescension. “Of course it doesn’t. You’re too busy sulking to appreciate greatness.”

“This isn’t greatness; it’s cheating,” Xavier snapped. “Every year, you sabotage the course so no one else can even finish. You think that’s something to be proud of?”

Beneath the bed, Wednesday stiffened. Her mind churned with the implications of Xavier’s words. She turned her head slightly toward Y/n, who raised an eyebrow, intrigued but silent.

“Sabotage?” Bianca’s laugh was a dagger, cold and deliberate. “I prefer to call it… ensuring my rightful place. If the others can’t keep up, that’s their problem, not mine.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Xavier said, the disgust in his voice palpable.

“No, Xavier, I’m practical,” Bianca replied sharply. “Unlike you, I don’t rely on pity points or half-baked efforts. If you want to win, you do whatever it takes. That’s survival. That’s power.”

Y/n’s lips quirked into a faint smirk as she glanced at Wednesday, her voice barely audible. “Sounds like your kind of girl.”

Wednesday shot her a murderous glare, silently willing her to remain quiet.

Xavier let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re impossible, Bianca. This whole school is just a game to you, isn’t it?”

“Correction,” Bianca said, her tone as sharp as a blade. “It’s a game I always win. And this year will be no different.”

The tension in the room hung heavy as Xavier let out another sigh and turned toward the door.

As the door shut behind them, the silence in the room was deafening.

Y/n shifted slightly, her lips brushing against Wednesday’s ear again. “Cheating to stay on top. She’s more interesting than I thought.”

“Enough,” Wednesday hissed, crawling out from under the bed. She stood and brushed herself off, her mind already calculating the next move.

Y/n followed leisurely, a grin tugging at her lips. “You’re thinking of a way to humiliate her, aren’t you?”

[notlongtolove]

into the rose garden; for evermore

months of hope, weeks of ache. you’ve stayed. you’ve waited. you’ve stayed in the waiting. more pathetic than poetic if you’re being honest. but now, with him standing here with his heart in his hands, it doesn’t feel simple. this work is part of the burnt norton series

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)

genre: angst... with an ending

content: situationship core, fighting, tears, sad...

word count: 5.5k

note: thank you for all the love on the burnt norton series! i hope you enjoy this last and final part (make sure to read allll the way to the end for something special inspired by this!)

a line: You knew you were tied to a fate of loving hard first, crying harder later.

Footfalls echo in the memory Down the passage which we did not take Towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden. My words echo Thus, in your mind. - t.s. eliot

It was quiet, but Spencer heard it all the same.

“I love you.”

The confession was as delicate as it was sacred. A soft, almost fragile, wisp of a sound that left your lips. 

His breath stilled before coming out in a shaky exhale as your hand curled around his. He swallowed and wished he could unhear it. Unknow it. But Spencer Reid has always been cursed with knowing things he wished he didn’t.

He’d tried not to notice at first. The way your gaze still lingered on him, how your voice still softened with every call of his name.

Of course, he’d known. And then he’d tried to forget.

When you’d suggested being friends instead—your voice trembling but determined—Spencer had known then that he should’ve walked away. He’d read enough, lived enough, to know how this would end. They said if you could still be friends with someone after loving them, it meant only one of two things: either you had never truly loved them, or you still did.

Spencer knew it wasn’t the former. He was many things—awkward, fractured, clumsy with feelings—but he wasn’t a liar. 

And he loved you like it hurt him.

He had tried to kick the habit of you. Tried to drag out the time between phone calls and texts, tried to wean himself off the need to see your smile, hear your laugh, feel your lips on his. He’d told himself that he was being kind, that this distance he built between you was mercy. He knew it was cruel to keep stringing you along, holding on to you even as he kept you at arm’s length—but he wasn’t selfish enough to pretend he deserved you. 

And so, while you stayed, wanting, waiting, Spencer ran.

Not because he didn’t love you. But because he didn’t know how to stay without breaking you in the process.

Thursday had come and gone. No text, no call. You weren’t phased, not at first, telling yourself the case ran long. It was a willing suspension of disbelief—that he was buried in reports and unsteady sleep, lost in the same work that had stolen him all the times before. 

But then Friday arrived. Time dragged, slow and heavy, as each second passed. The news alerts, spam calls, and junk messages that lit up your screen mocked you relentlessly. The silence of Saturday and Sunday wasn’t any better, each minute unbearably long. Before you knew it, it had been a week since you’d last heard from him, since you’d seen even the faintest ghost of Spencer Reid.

Your friends didn’t ask questions. They didn’t bother prying, all too happy to fill in the blanks themselves. “Good riddance,” one of them had said over drinks one night. You laughed with them, too loud, a sound that didn’t quite belong to you. “About time you let that one go.” And you let them believe that was the truth.

You didn’t fill them in on the part where you’d been the one left hanging, the one Spencer had walked away from without a word. You let them believe you were the strong one, the sensible one, that you’d cut the cord and been better for it. You swallowed that truth alone bitterly because you couldn’t bear their pity. If Spencer wanted to close the door on you, you weren’t about to break your nails bloody clawing it back open. You’d already stood there, holding it wide for him, time and time again.

But in the quiet of the night, your bed empty and cold, anger and sadness slipped in through the cracks. They sat at the edge of your bed like unwanted guests, familiar and persistent, whispering the same questions you had no answers to. “What had changed?” Sadness wept, her shoulders shaking between sobs. “What had you done wrong?” Anger screamed, louder, harsher, her tongue lashing. 

Each thought was a page torn from you, words unsaid thrown into the fire. Vulnerable and wasted—they could only have ever been meant for him. You hated yourself for it. And, for a fleeting second, you hated him too. He was gone. You were still here—waiting, always waiting. But you’d known all along that the flash of his badge, the weight of the gun on his hip, could never have compared to the significance of you. 

In a way, you would’ve been right. Spencer’s work—his pride, his passion, his relentless devotion—It was all-consuming, yes, and it could never compare to you. 

Nothing could compare to you.

You were it for him. 

He knew it from the way sleep came so easily in your presence, his body finally surrendering to the peace and security he felt only in your arms. You were a quiet reprieve he could find nowhere else. He knew it from the way his heart had splintered when he’d heard you crying, the sounds of your sniffles fracturing something inside him. He couldn’t even bring himself to turn on the light. It would’ve been too unbearable, too painful, to face the sight of tears on your face. 

To Spencer, you were the light at the end of a tunnel he’d stopped trying to run through years ago. He loved you for it—God, did he love you for it. But it was a light he didn’t think he deserved to reach.

And that terrified him more than anything. 

Spencer wasn’t made for softness. He knew that. Whatever pieces of him had once been smooth and whole were long gone. He wasn’t the kind of man who could give you love letters or lazy Sundays with whispered promises. He was sleepless nights and cold coffee reheated three times over. He was restless hands and a mind constantly bracing for the next worst thing to happen. His time at the BAU had turned him into something broken and jagged. The last thing he wanted was to ruin you, too. 

Because you, his sweet girl—soft, bright, and unshakably steady—you were everything he wasn’t. You didn’t need that. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved someone better, someone less damaged, someone who didn’t need you just to keep from sinking. 

Maybe you’d found that in him. He was a friend of a co-worker of a friend of a cousin of a—wherever he came from, you hadn’t bothered to remember. He wasn’t Spencer. 

This is your third date. Date. The word itself felt like a foreign concept. It carried a weight of certainty you’d never had before. With Spencer, there were no real beginnings, no clear endings—just nights out cut short, nights in cloaked in secrecy. A thing you never dared—or perhaps in Spencer’s case, cared—to truly define. 

“I’d love to see you again,” he’d said, his voice solidly steady. “How’s Friday?”

“Friday’s fine,” you replied.

And when Friday came, so did he. On time, standing at your door with a smile that was easy to read, so uncomplicated, so un-Spencerlike. You’d gotten dinner, had a walk in the park, stopped by the little ice cream parlour you’d always wanted to take Spencer to. It was all exactly what you’d said it would be. Perfectly and predictably fine.

He dropped a piece of his waffle cracker onto the table, then casually blew it off and popped it into his mouth.

“Five-second rule, right?” he grinned.

“You know, actually, germs can transfer in less than—” 

You hated the fact that Spencer was still playing on your mind. You hated the fact that you knew you weren’t on his more. You caught yourself, then shrugged, laughing it off.

“Forget it, I do it too.”

You tried to forget it. To forget him. It’d been almost 3 weeks since you’d last seen Spencer at this point. Anger and sadness hadn’t left entirely. They lingered, silent but present. You could feel them, but they were easier to ignore now—especially with a new warmth beside you at night, an easy distraction from the quiet ache.

But then, nostalgia came. She didn’t cry. She didn’t scream. No, she was more insidious than that. 

She sat, cool and poised, on your kitchen counter, watching you with a sickeningly gentle gaze. “Remember how he used to help with the dishes after dinner? He’d wash them twice-over just because he knew you liked them that way. This one doesn't do that, does he? Doesn’t even know.” Her words stung, and they didn’t stop there. "Why didn’t you tell him? Why haven’t you told him?"

You don’t know why. 

Sometimes, nostalgia grew meaner. She waltzed through the house, taking root in all the places you thought you’d exorcised him from. She rested on your dresser, her voice soft but biting. “You’re really going to wear that out with him? He bought it for you, remember? It still smells like him.​​" Her tone sharpened. "Don’t be cruel.”

You weren’t trying to be. 

Still, as you turned to leave the room, you caught the faintest flicker of a thought—Nostalgia’s quiet, treacherous whisper as she lingered in the doorway. “He’s not him.”

It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. 

It definitely wasn’t fair for Spencer either when he saw you that day, walking down your street with your hands tucked into your pockets and another’s arm casually draped around your waist. It felt cruel, really. He hadn’t meant to be there. He’d only come to drop off your key. But fate, it seemed, had other plans—a twist and shove of the knife already buried hilt-deep in his chest.

The guy next to you looked stupid, so fucking stupid. There was no other way to put it. Spencer hated everything about him—his stupid fucking face, his stupid fucking hair, and his stupid fucking suit that probably smelled like the overpriced cologne Morgan used to wear. 

Spencer decided to call him Stupid Fucking Bob. It felt appropriate. Cathartic, even.

Stupid Fucking Bob was tall. Taller than most. Not taller than Spencer, though, which gave him the tiniest, pettiest flicker of satisfaction. But it didn’t last. Not when you threw your head back and laughed at something Stupid Fucking Bob had said, your eyes crinkling in that way Spencer knew all too well. 

Stupid Fucking Bob had the audacity to be dressed like he had his life together. A crisp, ironed button-up shirt, perfectly tailored that was worlds away from Spencer’s own casual, comfortable style. His whole look screamed refined—the kind of guy who probably ironed his perfectly matching pair of socks and knew the difference between champagne and prosecco. He’s nothing like Spencer. 

Maybe Stupid Fucking Bob, with his stupid suit and stupid gelled hair was exactly what you needed now. Maybe he was a lawyer. Or a doctor. Something respectable and put-together. Someone who wouldn’t cancel dinners at the last minute or drag you to niche bookstores for fun.

Your hair was braided. That hit him first. He’s never seen you wear it like that before, and it felt like a punch to the gut. And your makeup? You looked beautiful. Well, you were always beautiful, but today you looked different in a way that made his heart ache. The heels on your feet—When had you started wearing heels? Or maybe you always did. He wouldn’t know, he’d never been with you anywhere formal enough to warrant anything beyond casual slides or sneakers. It all hit him harder than he expected.

Spencer turned away, swallowing hard against the bile rising in his throat. He needed to leave. The ache burned, spreading through his chest like wildfire, scorching every inch of him. He couldn’t do this. Not here. Not now. 

But fate seemed to smirk and snapped her fingers.

“Spencer?”

Fuck.

He took a deep breath, forcing it past the lump in his throat, and tried to steady his breathing. His hands carried a slight tremor, and he shoved them into his pockets, curling them into fists. He managed to muster a smile—strained, but passable.

“Hey!” he said, wincing as his voice came out a little too loud, a little too eager. 

“Wow,” you replied, your tone warm but surprised, “I haven’t seen you in—”

“Yeah,” Spencer interrupted quickly, his words tumbling over yours. “We, um, we had a big case.” He let out a short laugh, the kind he’d learned to recognise when suspects were trying to fill the silence with empty words.

You shifted your weight, hesitating for just a second before gesturing to the man standing beside you. “Oh, um, sorry—this is my, uh, friend, he’s…” Stupid Fucking Bob leaned forward, offering a polite, firm handshake.

But before he could reach Spencer, you stepped in, leaning over to stop him. “Oh, Spencer doesn’t…” you said softly. The way your hand gently rested on his arm wasn’t lost on Spencer. Whatever stupid fucking name he gave, Spencer couldn’t hear it over the static in his head. 

Spencer couldn’t decide which was worse—the way you stepped in so instinctively, a painful reminder of how well you still knew him, or the way you were touching Stupid Fucking Bob, like you were starting to know him too. You’d called him a friend. He can’t be anything more than that, right? But the hesitation before you said the word told Spencer otherwise. 

“Nice to meet you,” Spencer muttered through gritted teeth, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. It was the polite thing to do, even though his palms were clammy, and Spencer couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes for more than a second. 

You were looking at him, your expression unreadable. Spencer hated that. And Stupid Fucking Bob just stood there, calm and composed in a way that made Spencer want to throw something. 

Spencer hated Bob. Fuck, he hated Bob. Spencer hated the way his hand rested casually on your lower back, a touch that was so possessive, like it belonged there. But more than Bob, Spencer hated the way you didn’t pull away.

“So, uh,” you said, clearing your throat, “just in the neighbourhood?”

Spencer nodded stiffly, his hands still buried in his pockets, fingers curling tight around nothing. “Yeah, I uh, had some errands to run,” he said, trying and failing to sound casual.

You nodded back, your smile polite but tight, “Yeah, same here—”

“We were just grabbing lunch,” Stupid Fucking Bob cut in, his voice too cheerful, too comfortable. Oh my god, shut the fuck up, Bob. Spencer's jaw tightened, his molars grinding together. 

We.

The word reverberated through his skull. He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. “Right, right,” he said, nodding a little too much, as if that would make the whole thing easier to digest. It didn’t.

“I um, don’t want to keep you from your lunch,” Spencer finally said, his voice tight, his words clipped. He glanced at you, but only for a moment. “I should... I should get going. Errands and… other things.” He motioned vaguely over his shoulder, like there was somewhere he desperately needed to be. There wasn’t.

You hesitated, and for a brief moment, it looked like you might say something. But then Stupid Fucking Bob shifted beside you, his hand brushing against your back once more, and the words died on your lips.

Watching Spencer walk away felt like betrayal at its sharpest, love at its most humiliating.

It wasn’t fair that you had put yourself through the quiet torment of watching, staying, hoping—only for it all to come to nothing. It wasn’t fair that you allowed yourself to feel, to be seen in all your vulnerability, just to have Spencer walk away as if none of it had ever mattered. 

I’ll stay, if he stays. It was your unspoken promise to yourself and your silent plea to him. 

But he hadn’t stayed. 

So it wasn’t fair that you were still here, while he got to walk away. It wasn’t fair, but you let him go regardless.

Because Spencer’s absence had given your life a strange kind of regularity, one you tried to see the best in. You leaned into it, telling yourself it was what you needed. It was a new kind of normalcy. You should’ve liked it, and you did like it. 

At least you told yourself you did.

Three days later, it was a work party that finally unravelled you. Maybe it was the way your coworkers shared plans for the holidays, futures they seemed so certain of, the kind of dreaming you’d stopped allowing to indulge in. Or maybe it was the wine—too much of it, too quickly. Probably the wine. Excusing yourself to the bathroom, you locked the door behind you and leaned against the sink, staring at the girl looking back at you in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair slightly tousled, her smile looked convincing enough. She looked alive, happy even—But you didn’t quite feel like her. 

Your fingers found your phone, scrolling aimlessly until they stopped, hovering over a name. It was instinctive, thoughtless. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you pressed call. “Could you come get me?” A pause, then softer, almost pleading. “Please?”

The party had dwindled to a quiet murmur by the time you stood waiting by the street. You nudged your coworkers along, promising them you’d be alright. 

“You’re sure you’ll be okay?” one of them asked, concern flashing across her face.

“I’m fine,” you assured her, waving her off. “I’m waiting for someone.”

You had someone now. Someone dependable. That felt good, right? It was what you deserved. Dependable was good. Dependable was safe. But when you glanced up, sobriety crashed through your buzzed haze in an instant. It wasn’t dependability that greeted you. 

“Spencer?” His name escapes your lips in a whisper, disbelief catching in your throat. “What are you—”

“You called me.” 

Your stomach twists. “I… I did?”

“You did,” he nodded, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out his phone. The screen lit up with your call log, stark and undeniable. Your eyes flicked back to him—his hair slightly dishevelled, his coat hanging open. He looked like he’d rushed out the door. Your chest tightens, the ache returning in full force.

All you can think is, Oh God. I called the wrong him.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. Your heart hammers away in your chest as your gaze darts toward the street, desperate for a cab. “I didn’t mean to call—You can go. You should go.”

Spencer’s brow furrows, something unreadable crossing his face. “I’m already here,” he says, “Let me walk you home.” “I—” Your voice is soft, tentative. You hesitate. The choice should be simple. He’s already here. He’s offering to walk you home. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it. And yet, this feels wrong. You despise the fact that it does. You shouldn’t say it. You know you shouldn’t. But the silence between you is unbearable, and his presence feels impossibly close. “Okay,” you murmur, the word slipping out before you can stop it. Suddenly it feels more than wrong. It feels like surrender. 

The night feels colder than it should as the two of you start walking. The silence stretches, long and awkward, until finally, he speaks.

“I’m glad you called me.” 

Your stomach twists. “I didn’t mean to.”

His footsteps falter for just a moment, and when you glance at him, his gaze is sharp, questioning. “Me?”

“What?” you stammer, the word barely forming on your lips.

“You didn’t mean to call me?” His eyes lock onto yours, searching for something. They demand an answer you’re not ready to give. The question hangs in the air between you but the weight of his gaze has you pinned in place.

“I—yes, I didn’t—” You stumble over your words, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Spencer watches you carefully, his eyes never leaving you, “You didn’t mean to, but you called me.”

Your breath shakes as you let out a long exhale. Finally, you whisper, “Yes. I did.”

“That guy,” He leans in just a little, his expression hardening. “Was he who you meant to call?”

You swallow and nod slowly, the answer burning in your throat. The reluctant admission feels raw as something flashes across Spencer’s face—Annoyance? Jealousy? You can’t hold his gaze long enough to tell. “What is he? Your boyfriend?” he mutters when you come to stop at a traffic light. His words strike a match, igniting a quiet anger within you. 

“That’s none of your business,” you shoot back, your voice more defensive than you intended. It wasn’t so much that you needed to defend him—it was more about defending this new part of your life, the one where Spencer wasn’t there, the one where his absence hadn’t completely consumed you. A shred of proof that shows you can stand without Spencer. 

That you are whole without him.

The silence that continues to stretch between you is heavy and suffocating. You silently curse the city for its sudden and inconvenient lack of cabs. Typical. The universe has always had twisted sense of humour.

“You know you don’t actually like him.” Spencer says under his breath. 

“Oh, what the hell do you know?” You burst out. Without thinking, you step forward into the street. The light hasn’t turned green, but the road is clear, and Spencer’s presence is clawing at your throat. You need to do something, anything to get away from it.

Spencer’s hand shoots out, his fingers curling firmly around your wrist. You whip around to face him, anger simmering beneath you. His expression is calm, infuriatingly so, though there’s a flicker of disapproval in his eyes. “I know you,” he says, like he’s daring you to deny it.

“No,” you snap, shrugging his hand off your arm with a sharp jerk. The movement feels more like self-defense than defiance. You press the traffic light button repeatedly, a little too hard each time, even though it’s already lit. It’s a pointless gesture, but it gives your restless hands something to focus on. “You don’t know anything.”

“I do.” His voice was maddeningly steady, calm in a way that made something inside you snap. “I know your hair was braided that day because you probably hadn’t washed it the day before. You hate washing your hair.”

“Just—” You shake your head, voice breaking. “Stop talking.”

“I know those heels definitely hurt your feet,” he continues, relentless, “but you wore them anyway. Probably because you think he likes them.”

“Spencer, stop.” You’re trying to hold it together, to keep the tears at bay, but they come anyway.

“I know—”

“God, Spencer, stop it!” The words explode out of you. “You don’t know shit,” you snap, wiping furiously at your cheeks, trying to regain some semblance of control. “Just—Just fuck off!” 

Spencer visibly flinches, but only slightly. The traffic light changes to green, but neither of you move to cross. “You—” Your chest heaves as you pull in a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. You close your eyes for a moment, exhaling slowly, “You should go.”

“Is that really what you want?” 

His question feels like mockery. What does it matter what you want? It clearly never mattered before, and it certainly won’t matter now.

You’d always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. You liked to believe that love, no matter how complicated or painful, was worth it. Maybe that was the only way you could make sense of the pain no one asked you to endure, a way to quantify the heartbreak Spencer never asked you to feel. You told yourself it had to serve some greater purpose, even when that purpose had yet to reap any kind of reward.

You tried to convince yourself that staying was a decision made from a place of independence, that your willingness to endure was an admirable strength born from the innate human need to love, and of wanting to be loved in return. But you knew it ran deeper than just that. You knew that you didn’t deserve this pain, but you also knew you’d never be the one to let go first. Your mother used to tell you that relationships only work if one person loves harder, and you’d realised early on that that person would always be you. 

You knew you were tied to a fate of loving hard first, crying harder later. 

And in that, it would never be fair. 

“Why are you doing this?” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the pounding in your chest. 

Spencer pauses. When he speaks again, his voice is softer—but no less cutting. “You’re lying to yourself,” he says quietly. “And to him.”

A bitter laugh escapes your lips, and you turn sharply, starting to walk. “Oh, I get it,” you said, a scoff lacing your tone. “You’re trying to play matchmaker now? Is that what this is about?” You fold your arms across your chest, tugging at your jacket, a feeble attempt to hide yourself from the hurt he so effortlessly unearthed.

“This isn’t about him.” he says firmly. “This is about you—about us.”

“There is no us,” you spit as you turn to face him momentarily. “Remember?”

“You’re acting out.”

“Wow, real mature Spence,” you snap, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “They teach you that in FBI school? You think just because I’m finally happy—finally not waiting around for you—that means I’m acting like a petty, jealous child?”

“No, I think you’re acting out because you’re hurt.”

“Oh, yeah? Gee, I wonder why.”

“Because I didn’t say it back.”

Your breath catches in your throat. The world stops. The air seems to freeze around you. For a moment, you can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t move. A car speeds by, its horn blaring. Spencer reacts immediately, stepping to position himself between you and the flow of any other oncoming traffic like a barrier.

“What are you—Don’t just stop—” His hand grips your arm firmly, tugging you toward the sidewalk. But your feet refuse to move, rooted in place, and you barely register his words. “Would you—would you get off the street?” he says urgently. You can’t do anything but stare at him. 

“You heard me?”

His expression softens. “I did. That night.” Spencer’s voice is quieter now, almost a whisper. “I heard you.”

You open your mouth, but no sound comes out. The glow of the traffic light pulses in the corner of your vision, steadily blinking. Sadness swells in your chest, but it’s overtaken by something sharper, hotter, darker. 

Rage. Inexplicable, undeniable rage.

“You heard me.” You whisper, more so to yourself than to him. “You heard me, and you still—” The tears choke out the rest of the sentence. “Don’t,” you snap, stepping back when he tugs at you again. “Don’t touch me. Don’t—Just go. Please just go.” You turn away from him, your legs carrying you as far as they can, as fast as they can. You don’t even know where you’re headed anymore, only that you need to keep moving. But you hear Spencer behind you, his steps matching your pace. 

“I’m not leaving you here.” Another faint brush of his fingers grazes yours sends you spinning back around, wrenching your hand away as if his touch burns.

“But you did!” you scream, your voice raw. Your grief echoes in the stillness of the street. The two of you are locked in some heartbreaking tableau. It feels almost cinematic—the age-old story of a girl who loved and a boy who didn’t. “You already left, Spencer! You heard me, and you still left!” 

Spencer’s face crumples, and for a moment, he looks as lost as you feel. “I didn’t know what to do,” his words tumble out, his voice breaking. “I—”

“You could’ve stayed! You could’ve said it back! You—” You shake your head, swallowing the grief that rises in your throat, the words too painful to say out loud. 

“I do,” he says suddenly, stepping in front of you. “I love you. I do. I love you. So much.” he repeats, his hand twitches at his side like he wants to reach for you but knows better. “I love you too.” 

That last word—too—cuts through you. It lands with a cruel finality. It should soothe the ache inside you, but it doesn’t. It’s not the solace it should be. It’s only a bitter reminder that he heard you that night. That he left anyway.

“Then why?” The question comes out in a broken whisper, and you hate yourself for how vulnerable it sounds. “Why didn’t you say anything? You didn’t even try—” you whisper through your tears. “You just… left.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you—I was scared that I would,” he says, the words tumbling out in a rush as he reaches for your hands in an effort to ground himself. “I didn’t want to screw things up even more. I thought if I left—you’d be better off.”

“Oh, fuck off, Spencer. Look at us. Look at me. Is this what you call better off?” You stand there, unmoving, tears streaking down your face, each one a testament to your heartbreak. The sight of you, raw and broken, makes something deep inside him fracture.

“You hurt me anyway.” Your voice shakes with unspent grief and fury.

“I know, I know I did, baby—”

"Don’t call me that!" you snap, your heart clenching at the word. You try to pull your hands out of his grip, away from his touch, but he holds on.

“Baby—shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” Spencer says, his voice cracking. He shuts his eyes for a moment, furrowing his brows, as if trying to collect himself. “I know I fucked up. I know. I’m just—” He exhales shakily. “I’m trying to fix this. Look at me. Please. Just... please.”

You can’t look at him. You focus on the floor, on anything to avoid his eyes, because if you see that pleading expression, you just might break—You’ll shatter all over again.

“That guy?” Spencer’s voice pulls you back, quiet and desperate. “He doesn’t know anything about you. I knew it the minute I saw him. He said you were going to lunch? You hate everything on your street within a five-mile radius. That’s why we always ordered Chinese. Right?” 

Every word he out of his mouth feels like a plea and what’s worse is that you know he’s right. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again, his voice breaking. “I was stupid. I didn’t think. I thought leaving was the right thing—that I was protecting you from me. But I see now—I know now. It wasn’t. It was the worst thing I could’ve done. To you. To us. I was wrong.” His voice drops, barely audible. “And I just want a chance to make it right. Please I—”

You hear the break in his voice, and before you can stop yourself, your gaze lifts to meet his, only to see tears pooling in his eyes. The ache in your chest deepens, and this time, you can’t look away.

“Look,” Spencer says, voice cracking, “he’s probably a great guy. Nice, smart—smarter than I ever was if he wants you too. But he doesn’t—” He pauses, swallowing hard, “He can’t love you the way I do. I know people always say I’m smart, that I know a lot. And it’s true—I do. But this? You? Loving you? It’s a fact, the clearest one I’ve ever had. And yeah, I know it took me too damn long to get here. But it’s true. It’s always been true.”

The chasm in your heart splits open, and you didn’t know you were still capable of breaking like this. Of course, Spencer Reid would be good at heartbreaking speeches too. You start to turn away, furiously blinking back the new wave of tears threatening to spill over. 

“Look at me,” he pleads, his voice soft but laced with urgency. “Please. I hate that you won’t look at me, I just—”

You try—God knows you try—but the tears in your eyes blur everything. Still, the desperation in his tone is unmistakable. 

You shake your head, your voice low, “Spence—”

“I want to do this right,” he continues, his words tumbling out with sincerity so raw it sends another wave of hurt right through you. “Just give me a chance to make it right. One chance. That’s all I’m asking for.”

“I don’t—”

“I mean it,” he says quickly. His voice is low, but there’s a desperate edge to it. “No more mistakes. No more labels—forget the friends thing. I’d rather die than just be friends with you. We’ll go out. We’ll take our time. I’ll show you. I’ll really show you. I’ll make it right this time.”

You feel like you’ve spent a lifetime waiting for this moment, for him to say the words you needed most. Months of hope, weeks of ache. You’ve stayed. You’ve waited. You’ve stayed in the waiting. More pathetic than poetic if you’re being honest. But now, with him standing here with his heart in his hands, it doesn’t feel simple. 

Because for the first time, you have a choice. To go back or turn away.

To leave or to stay.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!

[covetyou]

nothing left to prove

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader, Joel Miller x Tess Servopoulos, Joel x Tess x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: voyeurism (consensual and not), cuckolding/cuckquean, unprotected PIV, oral sex (m recieving), masturbation, praise kink, brief spit kink, little bit of choking (as a treat), bisexual reader, asshole Joel, no use of y/n word count: 5.8k summary: Some risks are worth taking.

A/N: this is the last in my planned oneshots for SWAT this month! if you have any uh... 👀 questions, comments or concerns, my ask box is open. I love you all, and thank you so much for welcoming SWAT back with open arms.

title from movement by hozier.

divider by @saradika-graphics

follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future fics

Like most things where Joel was concerned, you're not entirely sure what made you do it.

One minute you were walking down the street - the bustling midday crowd rushing from one job to another, stopping by street vendors if they were lucky enough to have the cards to trade - and the next, you were mindlessly heading in the opposite direction.

It's not like you didn't know not to follow him. He'd warned you before - men in his line of work were always the target of something, and following after him, even acknowledging him in public, made you a target too. It was dangerous, and it was stupid.

Still, you did it anyway.

Without thinking, you had turned and followed, hands tucked into your pockets and collar drawn up over your face in an effort to keep back the bitter chill of wind. There was something too enticing about seeing Joel swagger down the street with someplace he clearly had to be. Something so enticing you couldn't resist. Even from the distance he was rapidly putting between you, you could tell it was him. Your eyes were locked onto his broad frame as it parted the stream of footfall, and his long, heavy strides carried him further and further away from you.

It was a fight, walking upstream through a throng of people going the direction you should've been, but you made it out of the other side and hurried down the sidewalk after him, barely a few minutes behind if your shorter strides were anything to go by.

Out of nowhere, he slinked down an alley, stealthy despite his size. You stalled on the corner of the block once you reached it. In any version of reality you'd been taught to keep away from places like this if you knew what was good for you. Things lurked in the shadows that you didn't want to encounter, and yet, here you were, embodying stupid as you contemplate throwing yourself down a dark alley after a man who was nothing but trouble.

You're still going to do it, of course. Nothing could stop you now, even as you waited with impatient jitters in your hands for an older couple to shuffle past.

Then, the way is clear and you can finally slink down the same alley Joel had turned down not five minutes before. He could have been long gone, of course. That probably would have been for the best.

But he wasn't.

A familiar Texan drawl tells you as much. There's no tinge of threat to it, just casual chat from what you can piece together, so you slip further down the alley and into the shadows. You make careful steps, trying to be silent as you step over rubble, until you reach the mouth of another alley and tuck yourself tight against the wall.

You hear him clearer from here. Whatever he's saying in the darkness sounds positively encouraging, and then you hear the other voice. Softer. More delicate. More breathless too.

Unable to hold yourself back anymore, you finally turn and peek down the alley to see the tall sillhouette of Joel pushing up against the much smaller one of someone else as they're pressed against the wall. He presses forward, and the gasp you hear tells you all you need to know. The rattle of his belt confirms it. Then, with a slow grind of his hips, he keeps on a steady pace as he fucks her right in the alleyway where anyone could watch - you're watching after all.

And you can't tear your eyes away.

The snap of his hips gets quicker, shallower, the longer you stare. His hand had long disappeared around her front, probably to rub tight circles over her clit as you peak around the corner of the alleyway. Her arms move, fists balling tight by her head, opening and flexing, gripping the worn brick as Joel works himself in and out of her from behind.

He's whispering too. No doubt talking filth in her ear, spurring them both on as he thrusts in and out of her wet heat. You're entranced by the muffled sounds of it all - the heavy rustle of his jeans, the soft whimpers, moans, and groans - and soon your core is clenching as you watch with debauched curiousity.

You stand there against the wall, watching, as minute after minute ticks by. And then, the biting wind comes back, this time carrying a high pitched moan towards you, and you try to focus on the shape of her in the darkness as she shakes against the wall, barely keeping herself upright as she comes around Joel's cock.

But, instead of plowing onwards, fucking her until she walks away with him dribbling down her leg, he delicately pulls out. You hear praise mumbled into her hair, where he kisses her, before he turns in your direction to tuck his still-hard cock back into his pants.

Your heart is pounding, you realize, when you throw yourself around the corner to hide from him. He hadn't seen you. Neither of them had. You were sure of it. Then when you hear the murmured sounds of thanks followed by footsteps, you peer back down the alley.

Only to watch as Joel's eyes flick up to yours in the darkness just as his fly zips, and you scurry away knowing you'll pay for whatever this was later.

The note had come through your door before you'd even got home that day. You knew it was from Joel before you even opened it, and when you finally did in the darkness of your room after stuffing it into your pocket so your dad wouldn't see, your heart had practically jumped out of your mouth.

my place. friday. hour before curfew. don't be late.

J.

So, here you were, a little before an hour before curfew in an apartment block across town from yours. Being here was risky - who knows how long you'd be inside - but it was a risk worth taking as far as you were concerned. You didn't even have to knock as you approached his familiar door - it opens as soon as your feet step outside of it to reveal a stern looking Joel Miller.

"Get your ass in."

He doesn't wait for you, doesn't usher you inside or pull at your clothes. He simply moves inside and stands there, back turned, arms across his chest, waiting for you to close yourself into his space.

Whatever you'd expected when you held that note, even going as far as touching yourself thinking about what was to come, the silent treatment never came to mind. Joel didn't do silent - not with you, anyway. He always had something to say and was always ready to make sure you knew it. Now, he was stood there, silent and stoic as ever. You watch the rise and fall of his shoulders for a moment, before an anxious ripple pulls its way through you and you're speaking to the back of his head.

"I'm sorry, I -"

"Y'ain't," Joel says, turning to look at you with a scowl on his face. "Knew exactly what you were doin' - you ain't fuckin' dumb, sweetheart. Or maybe you are, given how fuckin' stupid it is to pull that shit with me."

He steps toward you then, closing the vast distance between you in just a few strides.

"You've been gettin' bold. Bold means stupid, and stupid gets you killed. Now, I don't give a shit how you are with me in here. Out there you don't know me, you don't even look at me, and you sure as fuck don't follow me."

"Am I not allowed to -"

"No," he says simply, and you snap your mouth shut just as Joel pulls open your jacket and peels it off your shoulders, daring you to stop him as he stares daggers into your eyes.

"I didn't mean to -"

"Get caught?" he finishes, raising an eyebrow at you as he tosses your jacket to the side and kicks lightly at your feet to prompt you to take off your boots.

For once, Joel is wrong. Massively, glaringly, wrong. You did mean to get caught. You realized as much the second the smile spread across your face after reading his note. You realized too that you liked more than just the promise of Joel's threat to you when your fantasies of his stern words and rough hands had turned into watching that scene in the alleyway all over again.

And maybe he knows all of that too, because one second you're standing sheepishly in his living room and the next he's pulling you toward him and growling in your ear.

"Couldn't help yourself, could you?"

You shake your head, breathing him in now that he's so close you're practically chest to chest.

"If you wanna watch so fuckin' bad..." he starts as he tugs you further forward, pulling you into him as he steps back and back until you find yourself in his lamplit bedroom.

It's different. Not noticeably, at first, but then you see it.

In the corner is a chair, dragged in from its usual place at Joel's the dining table. There's barely room to walk around it, but Joel hauls you over to it anyway and pushes down on your shoulders.

"You're gonna sit your ass there and watch," he says as your knees buckle and your ass collides with the chair. "Got it?"

Dumbstruck, you blink up at him. You don't know what's happening. You don't know what you're going to be watching, here in this room with no one but you and Joel. There's something very big, and maybe very obvious, that you're missing, but before you can search your brain for the answer, he's pinching your chin and forcing you into an exaggerated nod. 

"I said, got it?"

You continue to nod and trail your eyes after Joel as he strolls back out of the room, leaving you perched there on the edge of the seat. You're in half a mind to follow him, but then a knock on the door startles you and you listen out as voices carry through the open doorway. 

It's Tess. You're sure of it. You'd only met her twice, but she wasn't exactly a person you forgot easily, and your late-night fantasies certainly wouldn't let it happen either. They spend a few minutes talking while your mind runs away with itself, their soft voices too light for you to hear where you sit, forgotten, in Joel's bedroom.

Their hushed conversation turns to something else as you listen, and the heavy sound of clothing hitting the floor reaches your ears and it's all you can do to keep yourself rooted to the spot. You said you'd sit, sure, but from here you can't watch anything, you can just wait in anticipation as the sounds of groaning and clothing being stripped off gets louder and louder.

You see Joel first. It's impossible not to as he's pushed backwards into the room by Tess, shirtless and belt hangling loose around his waist. And then you see her, clothes seemingly intact and her lips attached to his, hands grappling with his shoulders and scraping red trails down his bare chest until the gasp you were trying to contain slips out from your mouth.

She looks to you, lips swollen and hand steadily trailing back up Joel's chest until it clasps softly around his neck.

"Didn't tell me I'd be sharing," she says, and you watch as she grips the thick column of his throat beneath her deceptively strong fingers.

He swallows, hard, just about stifling a groan. "You ain't. She's stayin' right there. Ain't you?"

With wide eyes, you snap your mouth shut and nod.

"That right? You like watching, pretty girl?" Tess says, her eyebrows high as she leans into Joel, his thick fingers finding her waist.

You nod again, taking them in as they press into each other, and try to bite down the pang of jealousy that creeps through you. It's not that you want them to stop. Not at all. You do want to watch. You've never been more certain of anything. You want to see them, you want to be here as they come apart. You'd give anything to trade places with either of them, too, you think, but mostly, what you want is to slot yourself right between both of them.

Instead, you're stuck here on this fucking chair, uncomfortable and antsy as their hands roam and she tugs down Joel's jeans.

"Likes doin' as she's told, too," he groans, as Tess's hand makes it way down to the front of his boxers and squeezes the lump you'd been desperately trying to avoid looking at.

"Sounds like someone I know."

She laughs. She laughs, and it's all you can do to keep yourself on that fucking chair, not throwing yourself on the floor at their feet and begging that they let you join in. They might even let you, you consider. But you also knew there wouldn't be the same satisfacation in that. You wouldn't be able to savor and hold onto every sound and movement, keeping it locked away in your mind until later, if you were too fucked out and silly with it to know which way was up and which was down. And fuck did you want to watch Joel do all the things to her you wished he'd do to you, the things you wish you could do to her too.

So, you were going to do as you were told. You were going to be good. And you were going to watch.

When you nod again, Tess rewards you by pressing a kiss to Joel's mouth, and you can feel as you almost chase it with your own lips.

"You're gonna sit there," she says, pressing another kiss to his mouth, "and you're gonna keep watching, pretty girl. And keep those hands right where I can see 'em."

Planting your hands on your thighs, you watch Joel kick off his pants, standing now in nothing but boxers. Tess presses him back, pushing until he stumbles into his bed and lets himself collpase down onto it and shift back until he's resting on his elbows. Your eyes dart between them. She's practically eating him alive, hooking her own fingers into her jeans and pulling them down as Joel palms himself over his boxers. Then, in one elegant move, she flicks her pants off and climbs over the bed onto him, spreading her legs wide as she settles herself down onto his stiff cock.

Joel bites his cheek, keeping his hands soft on her creamy thighs as she rolls her hips over and over his, grinding her cunt against his length. He doesn't move. Doesn't pull her shirt off or force her down harder with a bruising grip to her thighs. He simply lets her use him until she's panting on top of him, his toes twitching and curling as he stifles his own moans.

Falling forward, her hair briefly shields them from you. You can hear it though. The wet, appreciative sounds of their mouths working against each other, tongues lapping against one another while Tess rocks back and forth across his length where it's trapped between them.

"You're gonna fuck me, Texas," she growls into his mouth, flicking her hair to her other shoulder so now you can see the flush that's rising up Joel's neck. "And make it good."

He flips her with a grunt, rolling her over easily and slotting himself between her spread thighs. You're breathing heavy as you watch on with hazy eyes, imagining the feel of him between your own thighs, or her hair over your shoulder as she kisses you, making biting kisses into your neck.

And then, when your eyes focus on the room once more, his boxers are gone and you're staring at the back of Joel, completely nude, and it has you suddenly sitting up straighter. Even with his hand pressed somewhere between her thighs, drawing out soft moans from her, all you can focus on is his back.

You're not unfamiliar with it, of course. You've seen him nude before. But you've never seen him like this, splayed out over the top of someone with one leg hitched up as he slowly rolls his hips and grinds his bare cock over a clothed pussy. You've never seen the way his back ripples and his ass flexes with each rock forward, or the way he keeps his toes curled as he moves. You've never seen that silvery scar to his side either, visible only by the angle he's in in the lamplight.

You've never seen him with thighs wrapped around his waist either, pinning him down to another body while soft hands snake around his back. It could be you. But it's not. It's her, and that's somehow better and worse all at once.

Tess groans and tilts her head back, letting her grip around his shoulders slip to slide her own hand down between them, replacing his.

His own fingers are glistening when he pulls them away from her core. If you could move you'd lick them clean, taste her off of them, but you're stuck here watching, balling impatient fists on your thighs. And then, he's shifting into position, letting Tess tilt her hips until he's right there, and he presses forward, slipping into her wet hole with a groan.

"Fuck, that's it, make me come."

It's hot in here. You're listening to Tess say the filthy things Joel usually says to you, and it is so fucking hot in here.

So hot, you realize, that your cheeks are burning and your hands are sweating where they fidget on your thighs, and when Joel thrusts home, deep, and Tess cries out, you moan with them, and it's like they've just remembered you're there.

They turn and look at you, Tess's eyes catching yours first, but Joel soon following. But then she's dragging his focus back to her.

"She's being so good, Joel," she says as he tucks his head into her neck to press soft kisses there. "Thought she'd be rubbing her cunt by now but look at her, she's doing so good."

"So fuckin' good."

You groan when he says it. You can't stop it, or the way your hands flex and want to reach out for either of them.

"She likes that. She likes being a good girl."

And you do. Even as you spread your legs wide and try not to rock into the seam of your jeans and make yourself come.

Then, as if you had never made a noise at all, Joel is pulling out and pushing in deep all over again, drawing out moan after moan from Tess.

Just like that, you're back to being the dirty voyeur in the corner. Ignored and desperate, and one second away from pleading with them to let you have a taste of something, anything. You don't. By this point, as Joel's ass flexes into the space between Tess's thighs, you don't even need to. You can almost feel every movement, every inch, right from where you're sat, fully clothed over the other side of the room. You can feel the slow stroke of his hips between yours, feel her heavy breaths tickle your cheek, the hard grind against your clit. You almost gasp when she does, and you catch yourself rocking your hips to each roll of theirs.

"Fuck, that's it, Texas," she says, as he kisses her neck again.

It's not hard to see he's different with Tess. 

He's softer, less rough, but just as hard. He's as silent as you've ever heard him, that filthy mouth stalled in his head, but also as loud as you've ever heard him be. He's grunting and groaning and panting as he fucks into her, huffing in quick breaths and goading himself on with stacatto nods of his head, desperate not to stop, to keep going, to make her come, until he's groaning frantically, pushing through the pain and ache in his muscles.

And then it hits you that maybe he is like this with you.

Maybe Joel Miller is just as fucked out and loud now as he is with you. How were you to really know - you were usually too deafened by your own screams and focussed on the feeling of him inside you, to really notice much to anything else.

He shifts her, maybe the most he's dared lay his hands on her, until you're no longer watching from somewhere behind and instead looking from the side as Joel pounds down and down into Tess's cunt, her head thrown to the side, stealing glances at you as you worry your lip with your teeth. You're breathing so hard you're almost whining, nodding whenever Tess makes a particularly deep moan that you can feel push through your own chest, until Joel looks up at you and smirks.

"Fuckin' likin' this, huh?" he groans. "That's it, sweetheart, you wanted to watch. Fuck. Fuck. Keep watchin'."

You whine then. You can't stop it, and you don't care. You're ready to sob, could probably come untouched right here if you thought about it hard enough, but you don't. You don't want that. You want to focus on the way he fucks her, and the way she sounds as she meets every thrust, because you know it's all going to be over soon.

You know, because Tess is grabbing his hand, forcing it between her legs and threading her hand through his hair and pulling a moment later.

"There. There. Ohh -"

His arm flexes and moves between them, rubbing over her clit as he slips and slides inside her. You're leaning forward in your seat now, hands gripping the edge, ready to move whenever - if ever - they give the word.

And then, with an open mouthed silent scream, she tenses beneath him, the pulsating grip of her cunt making him stutter his thrusts but never the movement of his fingers, until she falls limp, delivering a swift punch to his arm to make him stop a moment later.

So, Joel stops.

Completely.

For the second time this week, you watch as Joel doesn't come inside someone else.

He holds himself deep in her as she floats down from whatever cloud he'd just launched her to, panting and wiping sweat from his forehead. And then, when she opens her eyes, he kisses her, and you're floating right along side them in the ether, entranced by the way she pulls herself out from underneath him, and pulls her clothes back on while he watches after her, cock stiff and neglected, covered in his own precum and her slick.

You expect her to turn to Joel, but instead she rounds on you the moment she's dressed, and cups your heated cheek in her palm.

"Maybe next time I'll let him come in me and you can clean me up, pretty girl."

And with a pat to your cheek and a nod to Joel, she leaves, shouting out behind her.

"Twenty minutes, Texas. Don't be late."

"Not gonna take twenty minutes," he growls, standing and rolling his shoulders while you still sit on the chair he'd pushed you into.

He's wild eyed, staring at you as you practically drool down your own chin at the sight of him. His thick cock hangs heavy between his legs, twitching as his muscles flex and contract. His fists ball tight by his sides, eyes dark as he looks down at you, sitting still and obedient and good right where he left you. You can smell the sweat on him, smell how much he smells like Tess, and you want nothing more than to roll yourself in the sheets they'd just made a mess off.

"Bring that mouth over here," he grunts, beckoning you over with two fingers that had been buried in Tess not long ago.

You let out a desperate sigh of relief as you slip to your knees right from the chair and make an upright crawl the short distance to Joel and his weeping cock. He smells just like you remembered she tasted like. Sweet, tangy, musky. And then, he nods down at you, and you take your first tentative lick of his slick coated length, and you're groaning, holding on to his thighs to steady yourself.

His hand finds the back of your head, stroking briefly at your neck, sending prickles across your heated skin. Despite the sweat, his hands somehow feel cooler than you, and the sensation of them on your skin somehow grounds you, holds you back from falling into a heap and sobbing, begging, screaming in frustration. You're so pent up, that all you can do is make strangled groans as you look up at him with teary eyes as you lick over and over his cock with a broad, flat strokes of your tongue.

"That's it, that taste good?"

It does. It tastes better than it ever has. Him and her, all together. You liked how you tasted off of him, but this was something else entirely, and all the while that soft promise of next time runs rampant through your mind, stalling your moan of agreement right as it pulls out of your throat.

"Shit," he curses as you gently lick a drop of cum weeping from his tip. "Good fuckin' girl. Like that too, don't you? Can't get enough."

With a groan, he's suddenly pulled away from you, and you whine at the loss, before he's crouching in front of you, grabbing you roughly by the face and kissing you, plundering your mouth with his tongue.

"Mm!"

"So fuckin' good."

You don't know if he's talking about you, or the taste in your mouth, but you preen anyway, eyes brightening when he stands up, gripping his cock firmly in one large hand. "She creamed all over my balls too, sweetheart. Don't want to miss a drop now do you?"

Eagerly, you lap at the soft skin of his balls, swirling your tongue and groaning as you clean the taste of her off of his sack. He's slowly pumping his cock, squeezing the tip, cursing, as you work your tongue over his delicate balls, massaging them with your tongue before sucking each one into your warm, wet, mouth.

You can't help but slip a hand between your own legs as you work your tongue back and forth over him. The taste of him and her together on your tongue is sending your eyes practically rolling in your head, making you groan as you lick from his balls up the length of him and attempt to suck him down and lick every drop of her you can from his skin. Over your jeans isn't enough though, the sensations too muted by the thick fabric, so with a pop you pull yourself from Joel, look him in the eye, and tug your jeans open. Fuck, if you haven't earned at least a little bit of relief, and you stare at him, daring him to stop you as your fingers slide down and find your sopping wet cunt inside your ruined panties.

He groans when your eyes lose focus, your finger sliding over the twitching bundle of nerves that had lay neglected by not one, but three people.

"That's it. Touch that pussy while you suck me, sweetheart."

You do, swiping your finger in slow soft circles as he guides the tip of his dick back into your waiting lips. "Can still taste her, huh?" he says, when you groan at the taste of him again.

"Mhm."

"Can't get enough of it can you. Fuck you're so fuckin' desperate. Look at you. Rubbin' that little thing with my cock in your mouth."

You suck and bob your head, twirling your tongue around to taste every inch you can reach of him. You're aching, panting, grinding into your own hand as you suck him. The heat in your core is searing you, making you sweat beneath your clothes. If you had a hand to spare you'd be tearing them off of you, but you need your hand between your legs right now, and without the other to steady you, you'll be falling flat on your ass in no time.

"Finish me first," he says, noticing your desperation and the way your hips buck into your own hand. "That's it. You can come after. Fuck, that's it. So close. You wanted that pussy so bad, didn't you?"

You groan around his cock, the many ways you wanted her pussy flashing through your mind as you slide Joel's cock between your lips, until he's yanking you back, making you gasp and your fingers stop the steady circles you were making over your cunt.

"You want this too, don't you?"

"Yes," you moan, watching as he starts to jerk his cock in his fist. You don't even think as you open your mouth wide, tongue out and waiting for him to make a mess of you.

"Good fuckin' girl."

He jerks his cock faster, your saliva and Tess's cum slicking up the movement of his fist as he brings himself closer and closer. He steadies one hand at the back of your neck again, suddenly spitting down into your waiting mouth, making you groan as his spit hits your tongue and slides into your mouth.

"Keep that there. Keep that right fuckin' there."

He pants, chest heaving above you as you look between his dark eyes and the dripping head of his cock. He's so close. You can see as his muscles tense and twitch, one hand resting on his twitching thigh, the other holding off, slowly jerking your clit, until you slip your hand underneath him, cradling his balls, and gently squeeze -

Milky white spurts shoot into your mouth, his tip pressing down onto your tongue so you can taste every drop as he milks it from himself, your own hand massaging and tugging lightly on his balls until he's empty, tapping the tip on your tongue and wiping away the last remnants of the release you hold in your mouth.

"That's it. Swallow it all sweetheart."

The bitter salt of him coats your mouth as you swallow, not a drop wasted.

"You still want it?" he asks then, nodding down to your open jeans. Your own hand has stilled between your legs, fingers that were moving steadily are still now, hooked into you while you waited as promised until after you made him come. Now, the after was here, and with swollen lips and glassy eyes you nod up at him.

"Go on," he says softly, and you pull your dripping fingers from your cunt to coat your throbbing clit. "That's it. Wanna see you rub that fuckin' thing. Who you gonna come thinkin' about? Me or her?"

"Both," you gasp, pressing your face into his bare thigh, your fingers steadily building up and up the pace. "Both of you. Looked - fu - so good."

His hand strokes your hair, holding you to him while you work your fingers between your legs.

"Yeah? You liked that? Just like watchin' so fuckin' much don't you."

"Ye-eah. But," you whine. "Wantedtojoinin."

He laughs then, soft and gently above you. You don't see it. Your eyes are pressed shut and you're breathing in nothing but the smell of his skin right where his thigh meets his groin. You're ready to lose yourself in it all now. You don't care what you look like or if he's looking at you. You just care that you're pressed to him with your fingers between your legs, finally getting closer and closer to relief you'd been aching for since you saw him in that alleyway.

"Know what this proves though, don't you?" he asks, and with a harsh yank of your hair he pulls your head so you're looking directly up at him, fingers working swiftly over your clit as you gasp. "You know how to be a good girl and do what you're fuckin' told after all."

You nod, letting the drop of your head tug your own hair even more. "Yes," you say desperately. "Yes, I'll be good, I'll be good."

"Then show me. Gotta show me how good you come thinkin' about my cock in that cunt."

"Uh-huh," you nod again, and suddenly the jerk of your fingers over your clit and the thought of watching Joel's cock slide up and down Tess's slit, tasting his cum as it drips out of her hole has you exploding against your palm.

You barely hold yourself upright as you come, eyes pinched shut and jaw slack, Joel's hand in your hair probably the only thing keeping you from collapsing. And then, when the last of your orgasm has run through you, your fluttering cunt finally ceasing its twitching, Joel gently releases you, and you slump down on your knees, falling to the side until you're curled on the floor, propped up by the end of his bed.

You rest your head on his mattress and sex rumpled sheets, blissful and floating as Joel finds his clothes around you. Then, he nudges you up, murmuring encouragement as you stand and shake the fuzzy feeling out of your head.

Joel spots your look of surprise at the darkness outside. Curfew is rapidly approaching now, and if you're not careful you won't be home in time before you're free game for any FEDRA asshole that you come across.

"Still got time," he says, passing your jacket as you stuff your feet into your boots and ushering you out into the dim corridor.

To your surprise, he follows you out, throwing a bag over his shoulder before noticing your curious look.

"Won't be around for a few weeks," he explains. "Got some stuff to do."

He doesn't elaborate, and you don't ask. You don't move either, locked to the spot in front of the door as he locks it, and tucks his key away inside an inner pocket.

"And, just so we're clear, sweetheart. I don't expect to be sharin' you with anyone while I'm gone."

"You really need me to tell you I'm not gonna fuck anyone else?"

His raised eyebrow says it all, and you roll your eyes. You both know you won't, wouldn't, don't even want to, but to stroke his ego you say as much anyway, and he gives a satisfied nod.

You kiss him then, right out in the hallway before he can turn and leave, or push you away. Only, he doesn't. He never does. Never has. Probably never will. And, even out in the hallway where anyone could see, you think Joel Miller is quite a nice man to be kissing here, in an old apartment block at the end of all things.

"Keep yourself out of trouble," he murmurs into your mouth, and, before you know it, he's stalking away down the hall and, in a blink, he's gone.

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[stardancerluv]

What the Emperor Wants

Part Nine

Summary: Emotions take bloom.

Notes/Warnings: Hints of dommy, emperor Geta. Dated views on feelings, ownership & religion.

I saw Gladiator 2. ❤️ed Love Geta. Wrote half of this before seeing it. Only shifted somethings 🫣🥹 my story a smidge.

❤️s, comments, feedback, & reblogs are welcome & appreciated!

Something in him that he wasn’t familiar with came over him. Shifting where he sat, he glanced back at you. There a short distance between the two of you.

“Move closer.” He murmured, just loud enough for you to hear.

Once you were settled, he reached for your hand and held it over his shoulder.

He kept his attention on the dancers. A smile spread across his face. He felt good.

“Sire?” You felt confused.

His thumb grazed the softness of your wrist. You trembled.

“I want to feel your touch.” He pressed your hand to his chest.

You didn’t say anything further. Your touch was subtle as he continued to enjoy the fruits and bread before him, with an occasional sip of his wine.

Occasionally, he’d bring his hand to yours and press it against him before releasing it to let you continue your idle touch. Which felt as delicate as a butterfly wings has they flutter over new spring blossoms.

Catching the eye of one of the personal guards. He motioned for the man to come over.

In hushed tones, he told him to ready the carriage and to send word that villa was to ready for his arrival in the early afternoon. And to have the men ready as well to give a proper escort for himself and you.

The man replied with a positive affirmation, he knew it was possible. He had given them shorter notice when Caracalla had gone through a period of prolonged feelings of distress and tantrums. This would be much easier.

******

You held the breath in you when he motioned for the guard to come over. Their voices were hushed and low. You could not decipher what was said despite being close. You watched as the man gave a nod, stood straight and left with great haste.

Your thoughts whirled at the possibilities of what the exchange could have been. Your stomach turned.

Though as you felt his thumb graze the softness of your wrist, you were brought back to the room in which you sat.

“Diversion from the city lays ahead of us.” He told you softly.

Merriment still surrounded you, torches flickered and hushed pleasant voices grounded the music that player to accompany the dancers that continued to swish and twirl in the center of the room.

“That will be delightful Geta.” You smiled.

Tingles, from how your arm and hand were prickled at you. It reminded you on mornings where you had woken up after laying on your limb. You didn’t dare roll your hand or pull it back. Despite being the emperor, you surely believed he had those same tingles. But you enjoyed this and didn’t wish to disrupt his pleasure.

Feeling a gentle tug, you looked and caught Geta’s gaze. “Yes, Geta?”

“I’m growing tired. We shall retire to my quarters, there is something we need to discuss.”

“Yes.” You replied softly. “Yes, absolutely.” Before his hand released yours, his thumb once again grazed your wrist.

*******

He glanced at you as the two of you walked down the passageways. The footfalls of the two of you were the only ones that mattered in his opinion. The torches flickered and cast shadows here and there.

Looking at you, once again that feeling stirred in him from earlier in the evening. It reminded him of the excitement on the brink of a banquet celebrating a victory or watching a good fight in the arena. Never towards a person, even less towards someone who belonged to him.

His guards opened the doors to his quarters. He ushered you in first.

“Go to the balcony.” He told you, when you began to turn towards him.

You nodded.

He went over to where the guards stood.

“I do not want to be disturbed, Gallus.” He turned to the guard, he saw the most. “If anything else needs to be done before dawn, please do so. I do not want to delay our departure once dawn breaks. And inform Aelia she is to pack her belongings and hers, if she has not already done so, since she will be traveling with me as well.”

“Every well, sire. They are well prepared for your arrival at the destination and for your departure from here.”

“Good.”

With a nod, he closed the door.

He took off his laurel crown and set it down. Running his fingers through hair, he looked at your figure as he walked over to you. He paused, watching you.

You were gazing at your hand, he had enjoyed holding it. The gods have blessed you, he mused. Your hands were as lovely as the ways you twined words together. They were skillful in touch and in mending as well, as he glanced down where you had tended to his wound which stung with its freshness.

“Geta.” Seeing him, you turned with a smile that curled your lips.

He nodded, as he grew closer.

“Tonight’s festivities after justice was served were very pleasing. Do you agree?”

“Yes. Those dances were fascinating. Nothing, I had ever seen before.”

He smiled. “It was the same for me. They have traveled from one of the new providences. It was to celebrate them now being one with Rome.”

“That is wonderful.” You looked down.

He drew your chin up, he studied your features. Yes, he would definitely have to have a craftsman, capture you. It was as if the gods themselves had wielded a paintbrush or sculptors tool when you were created.

“Yes, Geta?”

He could feel your breath. Its steady increase pleased him.

“I’ve grown tired of city and all of the politics. We shall depart and enjoy the good airs and feel in good humor soon.

“We?” Your eyes grew.

He chuckled. “Yes, we. As much as I do enjoy my solitude. And anytime away from Caracalla can feel very good; I wish you to accompany me.”

********

With cloaks on and the blue light of the dawn, you had climbed in and sat with Aelia and Geta was opposite the two of you in the carriage. It was not long, before the streets of the city were shadows in the dust of the wheels and horse’s pace. The horses did not pick up a good trot till out of the confines of the city to not create a disturbance.

******

You tried, struggled even to stay awake, an eagerness to look out the windows had grabbed you. It was exciting to go somewhere you had never been. Even, Aelia had told you briefly how much nicer it was at the villa. Especially with Caracalla staying at the domus in the city.

Vaguely, you wondered about the woman who sat beside you. She was loyal without question to Geta. She had been firm yet show a warmth, a kindness towards you that you had not expected. Not many were. So you accepted and appreciated it.

On either side of the two of you were also guards, you didn’t speak to them and they didn’t speak to you. You barely ever looked up at one. They scared you. Glancing over at Geta, you noticed that he had even bowed his head to sleep. It had run its soft lulling touch over all of you. Your eyes had been growing heavier.

Before succumbing to its soft touch, you caught a glimpse of Geta from under your hood. His lashes laid on his cheeks, his hair like sun-rays themselves were peaking from the edges of his cloak’s hood and his features were soft. Your heart quickened realizing like this he resembled the sculptures you had been blessed to see. He truly, was touched by the gods.

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[shirefantasies]

Hello! I love your work so much, I hope you're doing well! I have an ask for you, whenever you get around to it 🥰 Could I please see the elves react to a reader that just tends to draw wildlife to them? Almost Disney princess style, maybe they just have a calming sort of aura about them. Thanks so much!

The Elves When You Attract Wildlife

Thranduil

The elven king is simply watching you as you stroll through the forest, his eyes following your movements idly. Until, that is, he sees the way you slow. A smile spreads across your face as you excitedly wave him forward, stepping along gently with a flat, inviting hand extended. Its recipient? A slender, graceful white deer lowering its head slowly your way. Such hinds are rare to the forest, revealing themselves most often to elven royalty, and yet here this one was wholeheartedly embracing your presence. Thranduil is reminded all over again how blessed your relationship is as he watches your effortless commune.

Feren

His steps slowed on patrol the first time he caught sight of a bird lighting on your finger, bringing a grin to your face. He sheathed his blade to approach you, each footfall near silent. Head tilting with gentle curiosity, you reached up to stroke its feathers, and it was Feren’s turn to smile, gaping faded in favor of pure admiration. “The forest does not give up its secrets lightly,” Feren told you. You started, but quickly shifted back to a smile upon sight of him, and the way his heart flipped told him everything he needed to know: no discipline would come your way from your distraction. Not when his feelings were growing so strong.

Legolas

Running effortlessly on the snow, Legolas typically does not look back, but the lack of footsteps crunching at his side brings him pause and has him turning around. When he does, his brows raise at the sight a distance behind him. There you are knelt in the snow, seemingly unbothered by the way its cold seeps into your legs, extending a hand. Its recipient? A short distance a way curls a snow-white fox, its form opening as it tentatively steps your way. Smiling, Legolas moves and short distance away, crouching and watching as the fox even lets you stroke its pale fur. Your gentle treatment of animals is exactly why he loves you. Perhaps he should tell you such…

Haldir

The night is cold, wind rushing past your form and whipping through every loose article of your clothing, fabric rapidly brushing skin. Your head is covered with a hood, through which wind whistles into your ears. At your side runs your companion, large furred figure loping against the rush. You do not stop until a voice manages to cut through the wind. "What is that?" Haldir. "I told you I had friends in these woods," you whirled around, answering with a grin. "So I was wrong in taking that to mean allies?" "Only because you haven't seen him hunting," you replied, venturing a tentative stroke of the wolf's head. You had been taming him for some time since you saved him from a trap, so he had grown used to your touch- not quite like a pet. Not yet. "How?" He asked, shaking his head. "How do you do it?" "How I try to do anything, Haldir. With kindness." At that, Haldir's stoicism dropped, finally giving way to a smile.

Galadriel

Seeing you knelt upon the dirt, the Lady of Lórien creeps closer, bare feet making next to no noise as one inches before the other. Tilting her head, Galadriel reaches out a hand, but she never gets a chance to as you turn around. Turn around, in fact, with a small, dark-scaled snake curling up your bared arm. Her lips arced slowly upward. Gradually. Galadriel's face does not often betray her thoughts, but you know her well. She is less guarded with you, so the surprise is clear enough for your own face to fall, to hesitate. "I know some find this strange," you say. Quickly, though, she closes the gap between you, stopping you with a finger to your lips. "All life has a purpose. Your appreciation of it is dear."

Lindir

A tree stump serves as Lindir's seat as he softly plays his flute, eyelids fluttering open to peek at his audience of one: you. There you stand, hands clasped and lips curved in a smile of joyful serenity, as you take in Lindir's composition. Notes flutter on the wind, but that is not all. Your grin widens as a little brown bird dances in the air, flapping closer to you as you extend a hand, one finger out. You are not expecting much, but to your delight and surprise the bird proves you wrong, lighting on your finger. Your eyes only lifted from this unexpected gift and its tiny taloned grip on you when the sound of music faded away; looking up, your eyes met Lindir's, which were looking at you with such adoration as to bring a flush to your cheeks.

Elrond

"Where are you, meleth nîn?" Soft words alert you to the presence of another emerging at your back, but you do not turn, do not alarm the approaching set of hooves. Soft eyes flutter at you from below, where the deer remains with lowered head and tentative stance. Beckoning with your hand, you keep your eyes forward and offer promise of grain. Elrond's hand falls upon your shoulder, lightly, affectionately, and there he stands in comfortable silence until the deer has nibbled its fill from your palm. "I love it here," you whisper, eyes finally rising from their fix upon the woods to meet a pair of warm blue ones. "And I love you," Elrond replies with a soft smile.

Arwen

"So this is where you go to hide away?" Arwen teases, hand gently squeezing the one you lead her by. For your part, you simply giggle and guide her further along the little-worn dirt path. Its end culminating in a pond dancing in the sunlight and lined with rocks and cattails. "Are we hunting for frogs, then?" "No," you grin and shake your head, "Watch this." Cupping your hands in the cool, clear water, you hold them out and wait. Wait and feel Arwen's hand gently upon your waist, holding you in anticipation. Anticipation gratified by the slowing of glassy wings and lighting of a thin red figure upon the edge of your hands. Drinking slowly and rubbing its arms together, the dragonfly looks away from you and drifts through the air to the cattails. A blue one emerges some time later, follows a similar process. Blue, green, and red dance in the air as they dart over the water, sometimes to that which you hold for them. Turning back to face Arwen, you feel yourself flush at the awe alight in her blue eyes. "Care to try?" As soon as she nods and cups her hands, you hold them in yours, plunging all four of them back into the glistening water.

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[silverstar70]

Fandom: Criminal minds Character: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Author's note: English isn't my first language, I apologize for any mistakes.

Summary: During a training session, the tension between Hotch and Y/N grew stronger

Warnings: 🔞‼️ new relationship, smut, sexual tension, fluff moments, friends to lovers.

Words count: 4,579k Hope you like it and let me know what you think! Enjoy it!

Something new pt.1

Training session

The BAU training gym buzzed with quiet energy as agents filtered in and out, focusing on their workouts or sparring sessions. Aaron Hotchner, known for his discipline and dedication, was no stranger to this space. However, today, there was an unusual tension in the air, a palpable electricity that seemed to emanate from the presence of a single individual: Lieutenant Y/N L/N.

Having transferred from the Navy to the FBI for a joint task force operation, Y/N had become a familiar face at Quantico. Her strong leadership and tactical skills were undeniable, but it was her long-standing friendship with Aaron that intrigued the team. They shared a history, one that extended beyond their professional interactions.

Y/N had known Aaron before his time at the BAU, back when he was still with Haley. She had always harbored feelings for him but chose to distance herself when she realized he was happy. Now, years later, fate had brought them back together under different circumstances. Haley was gone, and Aaron was a different man—hardened by experience and loss.

Among the agents, Aaron Hotchner stood tall, clad in a fitted black t-shirt and matching athletic pants, his presence commanding even in a casual setting.

Across the room, Y/N tightened her ponytail, adjusting her workout gear. She glanced at Aaron, feeling a slight flutter in her stomach. They had always maintained a professional relationship, but there was an undercurrent of something unspoken between them—a tension she couldn't quite place. Or maybe she could but tried to ignore it.

Today, the BAU was conducting a mandatory self-defense training session. The agents paired off, leaving Y/N and Hotch as the only unpaired duo. He watched as Y/N adjusted her gloves, her movements precise and measured.

She looked up at him, a small, confident smile playing on her lips. "Ready to get your ass kicked, Hotchner?"

He chuckled, a rare sound that softened his otherwise stern demeanor. "We'll see about that, Lieutenant."

They circled each other, assessing, waiting for the right moment. Aaron made the first move, lunging forward with a quick jab. Y/N sidestepped effortlessly, grabbing his wrist and twisting it behind his back. He felt the controlled strength in her grip, a testament to her training.

"Not bad," he grunted, spinning out of her hold. They continued the dance, a series of strikes and counter-strikes, each testing the other's limits.

As the session progressed, the gym seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them. The sound of their heavy breathing filled the space, mingling with the faint echo of their footfalls on the mats. Aaron couldn't deny the thrill he felt—her agility, her focus—it was exhilarating.

Y/N went for a high kick, aiming for his shoulder. Aaron caught her leg, pulling her off balance. She fell back, but not before hooking her free leg around his waist, dragging him down with her. They landed on the mat, bodies pressed together, the heat between them undeniable.

For a moment, they stayed like that, breath mingling, eyes locked. Aaron's hand rested on her waist, fingers brushing against the exposed skin beneath her shirt. He could feel the rapid beat of her heart, mirroring his own.

"Nice move," she murmured, her voice low and husky.

He swallowed, struggling to keep his composure. "You're not bad yourself."

The tension was thick, a live wire crackling between them. Slowly, Y/N disentangled herself, rolling away and standing up. She offered him a hand, pulling him to his feet. As they stood facing each other, Aaron felt a surge of desire, a need to break the unspoken rules they both adhered to so strictly.

With each move, each counter, they seemed to communicate on a different level—silent yet profound. Aaron grabbed Y/N's arm, attempting to pin her again, but she twisted out of his grip with a fluid motion.

"You've gotten better," Aaron remarked, slightly breathless.

Y/N smirked, "You haven't seen anything yet."

She lunged, feinting left before shifting right, catching Aaron off guard. He stumbled back, but quickly regained his footing, a glint of admiration in his eyes. He countered with a swift move, sweeping her legs from under her. She hit the mat with a soft thud, Aaron's body hovering over hers, his breath warm against her skin. The proximity was intoxicating, and for a brief moment, time stood still.

"You've always been a formidable opponent," Aaron said, his voice low, almost a whisper.

Y/N looked up at him, her heart pounding. "You never knew the half of it," she replied, her voice equally soft but carrying an undercurrent of something deeper.

The air between them crackled with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. Aaron's gaze flickered to her lips before he quickly pulled back, extending a hand to help her up. She took it, her touch lingering a fraction longer than necessary.

They continued the session, but something had shifted. The sparring became more intense, their movements more precise. It was as if they were testing the boundaries of their own control, pushing each other to the brink. The gym seemed to grow warmer, the air thicker with the unspoken tension between them.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Aaron called for a break. The gym door creaked open, and JJ poked her head in. "Hey, we're wrapping up. You two coming?"

Aaron cleared his throat, stepping back. "Yeah, we'll be right there."

JJ nodded, shooting them a knowing smile before closing the door.

Y/N grabbed a towel, dabbing at the sweat on her brow. "That was a good session."

There was a moment of silence, thick with unspoken words. Aaron knew he should step back, and put distance between them. But something kept him rooted in place, his eyes locked on hers.

Y/N shifted, biting her lip. "You know, we should do this more often. Training, I mean."

He raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"

She shrugged, tossing the towel onto a bench. "Yeah. It was...fun."

Aaron's gaze softened, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Fun, huh? That's not a word I hear often."

She tilted her head, a playful glint in her eye. "Maybe you need to loosen up a bit, Hotchner."

He chuckled, a warm, genuine sound. "Maybe you're right."

Standing there in silence, close yet distant from each other, the room felt small. The air between them cracked with electricity, Hotch lost himself looking at her as a shiver ran along his body and a feeling, he hadn’t felt in years began to spread in his chest. Every muscle tensed at the strange feeling; his stomach tightened, his breathing hitched in his throat and his heart seemed to beat out of his cage.

Y/N felt his eyes on her penetrating her soul, like he was trying to read what was going on in her mind. If only he knew.  “What?”

Her voice brought him back to reality. “Umm, nothing.”

Eager to get up from there, he grabbed his gym bag ready to rush out the door, but Y/N turned towards him at the same time he moved. Face to face, the distance between them was almost nonexistent, she could feel his hot breath on her face.

Driven by some invisible force, Hotch reached out, brushing a strand of loose hair from her face. His touch lingered, fingers trailing down her cheek.

Y/N's breath hitched, her eyes darkening. She leaned into his touch, her hand coming up to rest on his chest. "Hotch..."

He swallowed, his thumb brushing against her lower lip. The sound of his name on her lips sent a rush of heat through him. "We shouldn't," he whispered, even as he leaned in closer.

He hesitated, the weight of his responsibilities pressing down on him. But in that moment, all he could think about was her—the feel of her skin, the warmth of her body. With a quiet groan, he closed the distance, capturing her lips in a fierce, desperate kiss.

Y/N responded instantly, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled him closer. The kiss was a clash of need and restraint, a desperate attempt to quench the fire burning between them. Aaron's hands roamed her back, pulling her against him as if trying to merge their bodies.

The world outside the gym ceased to exist. There were no rules, no consequences—only the two of them, lost in a whirlwind of desire. Aaron kissed her deeply, tasting the salt of her sweat and the sweetness of her lips. He felt her hands slide under his shirt, fingers tracing the muscles of his back.

They pulled apart, gasping for air. Aaron rested his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. "We should stop," he murmured, though his voice lacked conviction.

Y/N nodded but made no move to step back. Her eyes were glazed with desire, lips swollen from their kiss. "We should," she agreed, her voice breathy.

They stood there, caught in the aftermath of their shared moment. Aaron's heart pounded in his chest, a mixture of exhilaration and fear. He knew they were treading dangerous waters, but the thought of pulling away felt like a betrayal of everything he wanted.

With a sigh, Aaron gently cupped her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. "We can't let this happen again," he said, his voice firm yet soft.

Y/N nodded, her eyes holding a mix of disappointment and understanding. "I know," she replied, her tone resigned.

They pulled away, the loss of contact a cold reminder of reality. Aaron took a deep breath, steadying himself. He offered her a small, rueful smile. "Thank you for the session. It was...enlightening."

She returned the smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Anytime, Hotchner."

With one last lingering look, they turned and walked out of the gym, the air between them heavy with unresolved tension. As they stepped into the hallway, the sounds of the bustling FBI office reminded them of their duties, their responsibilities.

Aaron glanced at Y/N, who was already putting on her professional mask, her expression unreadable. He admired her strength, her ability to compartmentalize. But he couldn't shake the feeling that they had crossed a line, one that couldn't easily be redrawn.

As they rejoined the team, Aaron felt a pang of regret. He knew he had to be the responsible one, to maintain the boundaries. But as he watched Y/N interact with the others, a small, rebellious part of him wondered what it would be like to break the rules, to give in to the undeniable chemistry between them. A small part of him wished he wasn’t so strict with rules.

As the days passed, Hotch and Y/N fell back into their professional roles, maintaining a careful distance. The BAU team, ever perceptive, seemed to sense the undercurrent between them but chose not to comment. Work carried on, cases came and went, and the tension between Hotch and Y/N simmered beneath the surface.

One evening, after the team had finished a particularly grueling case, Y/N found herself in the conference room finishing some paperwork. Hotch noticed her and quietly entered the room, not wanting to disturb her.

He couldn't help but admire her. She was focused, her brow furrowed in concentration as she studied the files. Despite the exhaustion etched on her face, she radiated a quiet strength that Aaron found both admirable and alluring.

She looked up after a while, her heart skipping a beat when she saw Aaron standing there, his eyes filled with concern.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to her frayed nerves.

"Hey," she replied, her tone guarded.

He stepped closer, his gaze never leaving hers. "I wanted to check on you.”

"I’m fine. It’s just being a long day," she muttered, more to herself than to him.

Aaron nodded, watching her carefully. "Yeah, it was. You should get some rest."

She looked up, meeting his eyes for a moment before looking away. "I will. Just need to finish up a few things."

Aaron hesitated, feeling the familiar pull toward her. He knew he should leave, and give her space, but the urge to bridge the gap between them was too strong. He took a deep breath and closed the distance, his footsteps echoing in the empty room.

"Can we talk?" he asked, his voice gentle yet firm.

*

When the team noticed Hotch and Y/N in the conference room, they exchanged curious looks. Around Reid’s desk, everyone was trying hard to avoid gazing towards the conference room, keeping in mind the promise to never profile each other. Rules they broke repeatedly.

Of course, they notice the change in behavior between their boss and the Lieutenant, the tension filling the room every time the other walked into the room, and the stolen glances when they thought no one was watching. 

Truth be told, they hoped something would happen between them. They were so alike, workaholics, strict to the rules but ready to break them to save one of their own, authoritative and well-respected figures. Legends in their environment.

Hotch needed someone like Y/N at his side, someone who could understand the long hours. They never blamed Haley for the divorce, they knew this job took a lot from the people around them too, and wished that Hotch would stop blaming himself for what happened.

As the agents started gathering their things, Emily spoke with a mischievous glint in her eye. "So, what's the deal between them?" she asked in a low voice, just loud enough for the team to hear. "They seem... closer than usual."

Derek leaned in, whispering conspiratorially. "You think there's something going on between Hotch and Y/N?"

Spencer blinked, his brow furrowing in thought. "They do seem to have a strong rapport," he mused, tilting his head. "But it could just be a mutual respect for each other's skills. They're both highly trained professionals, after all."

Derek chuckled, shaking his head. "Always the rational one, aren't you, pretty boy? But come on, did you see the way they looked at each other? There's definitely something there."

“Whatever it is, it’s not our business,” Dave spoke, interrupting the arguments.

*

Before she could respond, her phone buzzed on the table. She glanced at it, her eyes widening. “I’ve got an emergency,” she said abruptly, grabbing her phone and standing up. "I need to go."

Hotch’s heart skipped a beat. "Is everything alright?"

She shook her head, not elaborating. "I’ll explain later. I have to go."

Without waiting for a response, she turned and hurried out of the room, leaving behind a trail of unanswered questions. He watched her leave, his brow furrowing and a feeling of unease settling in his gut.

She rushed out of the room, walking past the team to head to the elevators. The team exchanged glances; their curiosity piqued by the sudden change in Y/N’s behavior.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” Dave shouted from Reid’s desk, seeing her in a hurry.

“Work emergency.”

Aaron’s gaze followed her as she walked out the glass doors. He could sense that something was off, but he had no way of knowing what the emergency was. He sighed and returned to his office, desperately trying to avoid the team’s question looks.

Hours later, the office was quiet. The team had left for the night, and the building was nearly empty. His thoughts were consumed by Y/N; her sudden departure, the unspoken words between them. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was unresolved, and he needed to figure out what it was.

Hotch headed to the gym with a determined stride, hoping to clear his mind. The gym was dimly lit, with only the occasional beam of light cutting through the shadows. He changed into more comfortable clothes and started placing meticulously the bandages on his hands.

He started punching the bag with a force he didn’t even know he had. All the frustration, all the tension, was drifting out of his body, slowly, too slowly. Y/N occupied all his thoughts, every time she came to his mind, he felt something strange in his stomach. That kiss was wrong, so wrong and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about it, about her.

Later that night, when Y/N came back that night, the gym was deserted. Or at least she hoped so. Already in her gym clothes, she was greeted by the rhythmic thudding of gloves hitting a heavy bag. The sight she met with was Hotch with his shirt soaked with sweat, punching the bag with intense force, his muscles rippling with each powerful strike. His face was a mask of concentration, brows furrowed and jaw set as if he was trying to punch away whatever demons haunted him.

Y/N stood in the doorway, watching him silently, not wanting to intrude. But the magnetic pull she felt towards him was too strong to resist. The shirt perfectly hugging his chest and arms, the sweat scrolling down his face, the grunts he made every time his fits touched the bad, did something to her.

The familiar feeling she felt when they kissed, was growing stronger in her stomach. The sight of him made her heart race, a fire started to spread in her chest, and a sense of admiration filled her. She had seen him in countless professional situations, always composed and in control. But this was different—this was raw, unfiltered Aaron Hotchner.

She leaned against the wall, her eyes never leaving him as he pounded the bag. She could see the sweat glistening on his skin, the way his muscles flexed and strained with each movement. It was a sight that stirred something deep within her, a longing that she had tried so hard to suppress.

The intensity of his workout mirrored the intensity of their earlier encounter. It was clear that he was using the physical exertion to work through his frustrations, perhaps his own confusion over their charged moment.

After a few moments, Aaron paused, wiping his face with a towel. He looked up and saw her standing there, her presence startling him. For a brief second, their eyes locked, and the weight of the evening’s events seemed to settle between them.

“Didn’t expect to see you back here,” Hotch said, his voice rough from exertion.

Y/N stepped further into the gym, her gaze steady. “Didn’t expect to see anyone here this late.”

She walked over to the bench and set down her water bottle, feeling his eyes on her every step of the way. The tension in the room was palpable, a living thing that wrapped around them, drawing them closer together.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

He shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Not at all."

He watched her as she carefully wrapped her hands and moved closer to him, his eyes scanning her face. "You seemed pretty rushed earlier. Is everything okay?"

She let out a sigh, her gaze dropping to the floor. "It was just some work-related stuff. Nothing to worry about."

Hotch wasn’t convinced but didn’t push further. He kept scanning her trying to catch any sign of discomfort. Once she was done, her gaze met his, and for a moment, he saw a flicker of vulnerability in her eyes.

She took a deep breath, her shoulders slumping slightly. She knew that look. "Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“Like you have any right to be worried.” She said sharply.

Her words hit him like a train. His features softened as he felt his heart broke in his chest at the pain. “Y/N. Of course, I’m worried. We’re friends.”

Friends. Odd choice of words, she thought, the word echoing in her mind. Friends didn't kiss like that, didn't share the kind of moments they had. But she knew why he said it, why he needed to draw that line. Still, it stung.

"Friends. Right," she repeated, her voice flat. She quickly brushed off her thoughts and changed the subject, not wanting to explore more of his assumption. “Want to go a few rounds?" she asked, her tone casual while heading to the mats in the center of the room.

He sighed, noticing her attempt but didn’t say anything. “Sure, why not.”

The challenge in her eyes was unmistakable, and Hotch felt a familiar thrill. He joined her on the mats, a knowing smile tugging at his lips. They stood facing each other, the air between them charged with unspoken tension.

"Alright," Aaron said, his voice low. "Let's see what you've got."

They began slowly, testing each other's reflexes with light jabs and evasive maneuvers. As the intensity increased, so did the closeness of their movements. Every block, every dodge brought them closer, their breaths mingling in the confined space. It was a dance of skill and desire, each touch igniting a spark.

Aaron's eyes were locked on Y/N's, the heat in his gaze mirroring her own. He feinted left, then moved in quickly, pinning her arms behind her back. She gasped, their faces inches apart. For a moment, they stood frozen, the sound of their heavy breathing filling the gym.

"Got you," he murmured, his voice husky.

Y/N smirked, her eyes glinting with mischief. "Not quite."

In a swift move, she twisted free, using the momentum to sweep his legs out from under him. Aaron landed on his back, the air rushing from his lungs. Before he could react, Y/N was on top of him, straddling his hips. She pinned his wrists to the mat, her breath hot against his skin.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Lieutenant.” He said with a smirk on his face.

She leaned in closer, her lips hovering just above his. “You too, Agent,” she whispered, her tone teasing.

They stayed like that, locked in place, the weight of their unresolved feelings pressing down on them. Aaron could feel the heat of her body, the rapid rise and fall of her chest. His pulse raced, a mix of adrenaline and desire coursing through his veins.

The space between them seemed to shrink, the air thick with anticipation. Aaron's resolve wavered, the boundaries he'd set for himself crumbling under the intensity of the moment. He could feel her breath on his lips, the intoxicating scent of her skin. It was a temptation he couldn't resist any longer.

With a low growl, he surged upward, capturing her lips in a fierce, hungry kiss. Y/N responded immediately, releasing his wrists to wrap her arms around his neck. Their kiss was a clash of passion and pent-up frustration, each trying to pour all their unspoken feelings into the embrace.

Aaron's hands roamed her back, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. He could feel the warmth of her body, the softness of her curves against him. His evident desire was strong under her, sending shivers along her spine. The world outside the gym ceased to exist; there was only her, only this moment. Their kiss grew more desperate, more urgent, as if they were trying to make up for lost time.

Y/N broke the kiss first, gasping for air. She looked down at him, her eyes dark with desire. “This is highly unprofessional,” she whispered, though her voice lacked conviction.

Aaron cupped her face, his thumb brushing over her swollen lips. "I know," he replied, his voice rough with emotion. "But I can't stop."

She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. "Me neither."

With a shuddering breath, she leaned down, kissing him again. This time, it was slower, more deliberate. Hotch's hands slid down her back, tracing the curve of her spine. He felt her shiver under his touch, a soft moan escaping her lips.

As their kisses grew more heated, Y/N pushed against his chest, could feel his heartbeat. He ran his hands through her hair, his lips trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck. The taste of her skin was intoxicating, each touch sending a jolt of electricity through him.

One of her hands slid under his shirt and Aaron's breath hitched as her hands touched his bare skin, her touch both tender and possessive. She leaned in, pressing her lips to the crock of his neck. He groaned softly, his hands tightening on her waist.

They paused, breathing heavily, their foreheads pressed together. Aaron looked into her eyes, seeing the same mix of desire and uncertainty reflected in them. He knew they were crossing a line, again, but in that moment all he wanted was her.

With a soft growl, Hotch captured her lips again, pulling her even closer. Their kisses were frantic, their hands exploring each other's bodies with a desperate need. In the heat of the moment, Hotch rolled them on the mats, ending on top of her.

Pulling apart, their eyes locked again. Dark and filled with desire, it was like looking into each other's soul. Aaron rested his forehead against hers, his heart pounding in his chest.

Y/N was the first to speak, her voice playful but barely above a whisper. "Crossing the line again, Hotchner?"

He sighed, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I know," he admitted, his voice rough with emotion. "But I don't want to stop."

She nodded, her eyes filled with a mix of hope and pride. "Neither do I."

They stayed like that for a while, holding onto each other, savoring the quiet intimacy of the moment. Hotch knew they had a lot to talk about, a lot to figure out. But for now, he was content to just be with her, to enjoy the warmth of her body and the softness of her touch.

Eventually, they pulled away, their breathing steadying. “We should probably get going,” she murmured, a hint of a smile in her voice.

Aaron chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Yeah, probably."

Reluctantly, they separated ready to get up. As they recollected their belongings, they felt a sense of peace. Taking this step forward, not knowing where it would lead was a jump in the dark and neither of them was used to having things out of their control, but this time it felt different. It felt right.

As they left the gym together, Aaron reached out, taking Y/N's hand in his. She looked up at him, a surprised but pleased smile crossing her face. He squeezed her hand, a silent promise that whatever came next, they would face it together.

The night was cool, the stars faintly visible above the city lights. They paused by Y/N's vehicle, and Aaron found himself reluctant to let her go.

He glanced at her, his dark eyes searching her face. "Y/N... Come home with me?" His voice was soft, the question hanging in the cool night air. It was an invitation and a challenge, a step into the unknown. “Jack is with Jessica.” He added

Y/N looked up at him, her expression unreadable. For a moment, she seemed to weigh the gravity of his words. Then, with a slight nod, she smiled. "Okay," she replied, her voice steady despite the tumult she felt inside.

A smile spread wide across his face and for the first time in a long time, Aaron felt hopeful. They walked to his car hand in hand, ready to explore those feelings they tried so hard to ignore over the past few weeks.

Tag: @sweetbearcolorgarden

Read part 2 here