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lovee-infected · 4 years ago

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Hello! Recently I've seen a lot of twst blogs arguing on how twst characters are mischaracterized, especially Malleus. So do you have any ideas on how he is mischaracterized? Also, is it okay to ask for your general opinion on questions like a short character analysis or how a healthy a relationship with each twdt guy might be? Hope it's okay to ask!

For your first question anon, it's a GREAT thing to ask and to be honest I've been waiting for a chance to talk about him! And for your second one, yes, of course! I just love writing character analyis and it's totally okay to ask for character/personality/relationship analysis here! I've got a lot to say about Malleus so this is going to a detailed analysis about his whole personality.

There are commonly two popular opinions on how Malleus is which divides the fandom into two groups:

Group A:

Those who consider him to be an absolutely soft, baby dragon who just wants to be invited and have a friend. They believe that Malleus needs more attention and can be quite affectionate at the time, he can also be sometimes idiotic toward simple stuff like working with a computer or trying to talk with others which makes him even more adorable. "Despite Malleus's harsh and emo appearance and terrifying powers, Malleus is just a small baby inside," is also a common belief of this group.

Group B:

Those who argue that group A is totally shading everything important about Malleus's personality and true self just because he looks cute and plays with a childish tamagotchi. These group also comes up with rather strong points about his personality such as his status as a crown prince, his naturally dark personality as not only a dark fae but also Maleficent's grandchild, his maturity and cold nature and also, the aspect of his hellish powers which can make him look like an absolute monster at the time.

I believe most of you are familiar with these points of view but the question is, which one of them is the real Malleus?

And the answer is: Neither of them; yet both of them do have a point.

The main problem is how the fandom portraits him as either an emotional tamagotchi baby or an absolutely cold and heartless mister of evil, while the true Malleus is far beyond than just being either good, or bad.

Now let's discuss some of the important facts and common mistakes about Malleus's personality:

(1) Malleus isn't a baby, but he isn't a monster either

This is supposedly the main idea here which will be continued to be discussed through the rest of this analysis. This is often how many end up mischaracterizing him because: the way the describe Malleus is either too dark or too childish. What we need here, is a balance. This is the grandson of one of the most important Disney villains that we are talking about, and don't forget that Maleficent herself was confirmed to consume the powers of Hell, as she was indeed the mistress of all evil. So this dragon boy here surely isn't one to underestimate, and he clearly has inherited that hellish power of her grandmother. It's obviously seen through the story as well, from the way he was presented in chapter 2 and beans day event to how terrified other students always are to even talk about him.

But the thing is, there are softer aspects of his personality as well which prove that Malleus isn't just designed to present an undefeatable force of evil, and this is exactly what makes his personality a lot more interesting.

(2) Malleus is actually hard to approach and talk to

Let's be honest, Malleus isn't as soft and easy to befriend as many fans consider him to be. He doesn't get too friendly or chill as he speaks, and even his close allies like Silver and Sebek fail to get close to him as much as they wish to. When we talk about his dark aura, we aren't just talking about his horns and fearsome magic, it's also because of his personality itself. His calm yet cold tone always remains still regardless of who he's talking to. No need to mention that he isn't an ordinary student either, he not only comes from a well-known family but is also the crown-prince of valley of thorns. Out of all twst characters Malleus is the only one who is directly connected to the great seven by being Maleficent's grandson. His family and people on the other hand are overly protective over him, to the point of not letting him to even have a fake proposal in the ghost marriage event which means that Malleus has also got each and every of his actions under watch.

(3) He's slowly getting used to isolating himself

In his ceremonial robes story, he's obviously upset that he never had a chance to wear his ceremonial robes because he never got invited, but when Lilia says he'd one day overcome his ill fate and gets to wear them as he always wanted to, he says that he's fine. Then again when Lilia tried to bring him to the singing test in chapter 5 he avoids showing up. In his voice lines he also said: "Are you as well scared of me?" which is clearly shouting that he's no longer surprised to see people being afraid of him, he's getting used to being feared and at some point, hated. That's probably one of the bitter sides of his personality which he's slowly giving up on trying to change it.

(4) Malleus has got a great confidence and isn't shy at all

There many fanfics in which Malleus is presented as a shy boy who's scared of confessing to his s/o or asking them out, while he's the total opposite in reality. Just like Maleficent herself, he speaks calmly and in a formal tone, is very respectful as he speaks, and isn't one to ever have problem while talking to others.

It's others who always avoid talking to him while Malleus himself isn't the least uncomfortable with presenting his ideas and asking others for help when he needs to.

He isn't ever shy over his lack of ability to work with machines or asking others for help for seemingly childish issues like having his tamagotchi fixed or finding a friend for the GaoGao dragon.

The only thing left is how Lilia described him as "Kind of shy" in chapter five, which is most likely because of another reason discussed in part (3)

(5) He doesn't eat ice cream and play with a tamagotchi for no reason

Malleus explained that everything is ran by magic back in the valley of thorns and no one really uses any machines there, that's how he's pretty new to both technology and complicated tools.

I believe that the tamagotchi part was given to him on purpose, because else than showing the fact that he's bad with tools, it's great contrast to the harsh picture that his power and personality gives him!

Admit it, it's a funny and somehow, adorable contrast to see one of the strongest magicians who can burn the room to ashes in just a matter pf second playing with a children's toy. And I believe that it was given to him on purpose. They meant to give him some soft and cute features as well instead of just presenting him as an evil fae. He is indeed evil and his powers are terrifying, and that's how watching him play with a tamagotchi is rather surprising to many. If you saw Ortho or Cheka playing with one it wouldn't have gone any further than a simple "Awww" or "How cute" because it's something you'd expect to see from a kid, but when you see Malleus of all people playing with it, you can't help but to fascinated and flustered over how cute this fae's habits can be.

Ice cream on the other hand doesn't really have to do with cuteness, it's something Yana Toboso discovered while doing her researches on fae mythology which discuses that Dark faes enjoy cold and sweet foods, especially cream. So it doesn't really have anything to do with him being either a soft or a cruel boy, it's just a normal part of his nature as a fae.

(6) He might be crazily old to humans, but he's still pretty young as a fae

This one has really been getting on my nerves, come on people! It's true that he's probably been living for decades and possibly, centuries but don't forget that it isn't that much compared to a normal fae! Even Sebek calls him 'Young master' which means that he's still a pretty young one, no need to mention that he hasn't yet became the king either so he's not much different from the rest of the students in NRC.

I've seen people saying: "No Malleus won't do that he's -too old-" and I've got to say: What?

Come on even someone like Lilia who's been living for over 5 centuries can act like a nasty 14 year old at the time, so for faes at least, age isn't a limitation.

Malleus on the other hand is still a teenage fae! He needs to discover new things and talk with more people, just like a normal human being does. So if he doesn't enjoy doing anything too silly or stupid, it's because of his 'personality', not because he's too old. Even when tells Lilia that he isn't a child anymore, it's like how an 18 year old says it to his father.

(7) Malleus won't take insult easily

He is polite and respectful in general, but when he's offended, he'd seriously respond to it. Remember that a single swipe of hand from him can set the whole room on fire.

Rook and Leona were probably one step away from being burnt and when Leona really got on Malleus's nerves by humiliating him, Malleus stopped respecting him as a prince of an ally kingdom and humiliated back.

He is calm but to a specific point, and you can make sure that he won't be any soft or forgiving if you offend him, and it'll probably end in no good if he gets mad. So better not think that Malleus is one to just keep it in and later cry in a room because he's sad baby when someone dares insult him.

(8) Angelina Jolie's Maleficent has nothing to do with his story!

Nope, Malleus never had a lover who cut off his wings and sent him to a hell of depression and loneliness, and no you cannot find those two wounds on his back regardless of how romantic it may seem.

I admit it, it's a lovely Au, but it's JUST AN AU! I can still see people saying stuff like "Ohh!! Will we discover if Malleus too had his wings cut off in chapter 7?" and the answer is NO. While Angelina Jolie's Maleficent is surely a great one on its own, it needs be understood that twst's source of main information and characters designs is nothing else than the original Disney villains.

Malleus cannot be associated with any Maleficents else than the version we saw in 1959's sleeping beauty and it's an important fact to look through.

(9) Malleus is NOT Maleficent!

While they are a lot more similar than you can imagine(in both power and personality), let's not forget that Malleus is NOT Maleficent! He's a total new character on his own, and is unique in his own way.

He is twisted from Maleficent which means that no matter how similar they are, Malleus is a new character with a new personality.

Saying that he isn't soft at all and the fandom will see his true face when he overblots ( It's supposed to mean that the real Malleus is an absolutely evil and destructive one, just like Maleficent) is nothing different from denying all of Yana's hard work on designing him and his personality!

Malleus himself said that his grandmother's skills were far greater than his and most importantly: Malleus still has chance to have a better fate than Maleficent did.

Once again: He's still young! He still has a chance to be saved from turning into a heartless and isolated creature like Maleficent. No matter how cold he is, he hasn't yet got to the point of hating the whole world and losing all of his emotions. And that's why it's totally wrong to deny all the good that he might still have inside by saying that he isn't soft at all. He isn't a baby, but he isn't a monster either. Not yet.

(10) Even Lilia agrees that Malleus is still learning and his personality is in development

Can't you see? Malleus isn't attending to this school for no reason. His magic is already top notch, and his knowledge goes far greater than anything they might teach in NRC.

If you take a look at the story, you'll see signs of Lilia indirectly giving us signs of why Malleus still needed to attend to this school. In Malleus's SR robes' story, Lilia told him that he still has a lot to learn and knowledge isn't everything. And what might he find in NRC which has nothing to do with knowledge? People.

Lilia is trying to hold him back from isolating himself like Maleficent did, and is indeed trying to help him make friends and learn to get along with people without thinking that it's useless because they'd fear him anyway.

Also, he clearly wants Malleus to learn and experience new things in NRC by taking part in activities. In Malleus's Halloween SR story Lilia, who was always the one to choose Diasomnia's Halloween costumes, asks Malleus to choose this year's costume instead of him. Lilia first says that he wants Malleus to do it but later tells him that he has other reasons as well, he was trying to put Malleus into trying something new therefore he can have something learn from the experiment! (What a cute papa he really is...)

This is another proof of him not having the cold and unapproachable picture some imagine him to have, he isn't against experiencing and trying new things.

(11) He's still looking for a true friend

Malleus needs a friend, that's a fact. During his chats he mentions how Maleficent always had her loyal pet crow by her side as the only reliable creature she could always trust, and how Malleus wonders if he can ever find such a worthy ally of his own.

Even as he has Lilia, Silver and Sebek by his side he doesn't feel like he has such a friend.

People have been avoiding him through his whole life, and you can see how excited he got when Cater asked him for a selfie as he was one of the very first people who ever tried to approach him.

While he's slowly getting used to being feared by everyone, he'd still appreciate a friend and he needs one. Not even Maleficent herself could've made it all on her own without a friend by her side.

(12) Malleus isn't heartless

While he won't easily fall for anything or anyone, it isn't impossible for him to love.

We haven't yet seen anything that directly gets us to the point of love in the story but it's something you can tell through his actions and words.

When he cares for something or someone, he'd be serious about it.

Two obvious examples would be his tamagotchi and the ramshackle dorm. He'd certainly get out of his way to find someone to fix his dear tamagotchi and as we saw in the Halloween event, he furiously stated that he'd burn anyone who tries to the ramshackle dorm any harm, because he likes that place.

There isn't much he holds dear in life, but when he does, he won't let a single soul to take it away from him.

When he can be this protective over something that just entertains him, just try to imagine how far he might go to protect the one he loves. He falls in love very slowly and it'll probably take him a while to realize it if he actually does. He can begin with small interests and repeated meetings but at some point, it'll turn into a routine, an obsession. He won't easily fall in love, but when he does, he won't be able to easily let go of it either.

(13) His relationship with MC is far more important than you're thinking

Just by going through his voice lines, you can tell how MC is effecting Malleus's personality and life. I'm not saying that it's love or anything but the thing is, MC is changing Malleus nonetheless.

Their relationship has been a totally new thing for Malleus to experience from the very beginning, because MC didn't know him. Malleus is obviously used to being well-known as the infamous prince of the Draconia family by almost everyone, but MC was an exception.

He asked MC to talk to him and tell him stories, it can be clearly see that he enjoys talking to them.

He also mentioned that MC has made him feeling lots of things he hadn't felt before, which can also be connected to part (10) where we discussed how he's still young and needs more of communication and friends because he needs to learn.

Some argue that Malleus couldn't care less about MC and the only reason he shows up around them is because of the ramshackle dorm, which can be easily proven wrong by two hints:

1) Malleus sent a Happy holiday card to MC after the winter holiday.

2)What Malleus told Lilia at the end of the Halloween event stories after all the troubles that was brought upon the ramshackle dorm: "I want that human to enjoy Halloween too"

While it isn't necessarily romance that we're talking about, his relationship with MC is clearly telling us that he's a lot more of emotions and humanity inside him than what we were expecting.

At this point, it's important to see that in spite of his cold nature and mature personality he is slowly beginning to feel more and more emotions as the result of meeting newer people in NRC, especially MC. Saying that he is nothing but a heartless fae who is wrongly thought to be a soft and emotional boy is nothing different from judging him the same way as most of the people in twisted wonderland itself judge Malleus, it's important to see that he's a lot more.

His personality itself is surely amazing and as a Malleus hoe stan myself I can't wait to get more of his background in chapter 7, although it's probably going to be dark as well. They really did give his design a twist and that's how he's a balance of and menacingly powerful magician and a young boy who's just learning to deal with emotions.

For now, that's all I had in mind! Hope that I didn't miss anything. This was a general character analysis which also discussed some of the common mistakes about Malleus's personality but-

In case that you're wondering how he's being mischaracterized in reader insert fics, that'll be a totally different issue to discuss which would also need another post to be discussed through.

Small note: Just saying that there's often a dark lore to twst x reader fics (Especially for Malleus/ Leona x reader) which is usually better to be ignored while reading/writing for them...

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst theories #twisted wonderland theories #Twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #Character analysis #answered

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moongirl-and-her-thoughts · 3 years ago

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Feminism/Diversity in YA literature

Okay, so like, I’m a 110% feminist, but like, there is a lot messed up about it in books.

Like, guys have 40% more upper body strength, so when a girl who’s like... skinny and petite manages to floor him (AHEM, Celaena, AHEM) it just seems slightly wrong. I get that like Celaena is fae, or whatever, so that is helpful, but there are so many more books where the ‘badass’ heroine manages to kill a dude with no training whatsoever. And like, Clary in TMI, kills a demon with no training and the excuse used is (this is an actual quote from the book) ‘it’s in your blood’. Like, the hell? That’s like saying ‘I’m gonna get braces so my kids have straight teeth’, your genetics do not matter. (If someone’s going to reply with ‘but she’s Nephilim’, can you imagine Tavvy (Octavian Blackthorn) trying to stab a demon at age 7 with no training at all? no. Same with Clary)

Then there’s the whole thing with guys being like ‘You’re not like other girls, you’re different, that’s why I like you’, like wtf it’d bad enough when the girl says it herself and be like ‘I’m different’, but when the guy has to point it out for us like... it is mildly infuriating. And you know why the main chick is different? cause she doesn’t party or wear girly clothing and isn’t a shallow, pathetic, dumb weirdo, but you know who the other girls are? US. They really are calling us shallow and dumb and pathetic.

Then there’s the whole part where you cannot make ‘being feminist’ or ‘being diverse’ their whole personality like, no, make your mc feminist, but make her a real person, give her weaknesses and strengths and hopes and dreams and fears and flaws like a REAL PERSON and don’t turn her into an annoying Mary Sue of a character. Make your main character someone relatable, but not in the annoying ‘quirky’ manner.

e.g.(I do not want to get attacked so for the sake of this rant I’m going to use Belle from Beauty and the Beast) Belle’s entire personality was that she liked to read, that she was weird because she liked books and that she was smart. That was literally it. Where were the hopes and dreams and actual bits of her character (so, I never saw the original film, so if I got the story wrong, correct me).

While I’m on the topic of Disney issues, FOR THE LOVE OF LUCIFER SOMEONE TELL CINDERELLA TO SEE A DOCTER, SHE SPEAKS TO RATS BECAUSE SHE IS LONELY and like, we’re supposed to feel sorry for the girl but like she is the epitome of stereotypical perfection (other than the mental issues) with bright blonde hair and clear blue eyes and an hourglass figure and rich family-

(k, back onto literature, sorry bout that)

And we’ve really just got to get more authors to write more non-white or non-straight or just non-perfect characters without that being their whole personality. For example, Harry Cameron (7 husbands of Evelyn Hugo) was literally amazing, with a life outside of being a gay producer. He was kind, brilliant, tortured, just (I could go on but distractions aren’t currently welcome).

Also, this might be just me, but why do we always love the love interest more than we like the mc? Like, I was on some website the other day and saw girls as young as nine saying that Sebastien Morgenstern is the perfect book boyfriend because he would do anything for Clary. That’s right. They said that the mc’s psychotic brother who beat her bloody and then tried to rape her was really sweet. What the hell? Sebastien was romanticized, even though he was terrible. It is twisting young girls into thinking that a relationship isn’t a proper one without angst and drama. (I love Will and Jem and Tessa though).

And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘I can fix him’ trope. I’ve seen relationships where the girl thinks she can fix the bad boy, she can heal him, but it never turns out well. Just look at It Ends with Us, it shows you what happens when you get with him. Blissful at first but ended painfully. Some books, like The Infernal Devices, the character had an honest reason (Will, the curse) so they did what they did. But the entire trope is messed up, with the whole 50 shades of Grey/Beauty and the Beast style overlook.

Overall, there are so many harmful and anti-feminist parts of Young Adult literature, which could potentially be a bad impact on younger readers who have never had experiences in love. It is also rude at times. I wish to say, not all YA/A books are bad, but there are so many that are that they overshadow the beautiful content that is sometimes found.

I don’t care if no one reads this, I will definitely make a part 2.

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twst-discourse-bot · 2 years ago

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Continuing what I meant to say earlier. Given the new event for the jp servers, yes I do understand why people would be upset about the new character that was added for the masquerade event. Though we don't really know too much about him yet.

Unfortunately this whole thing seems to be making TWST trend and reach a wider audience. I think there is already an article saying TWST is racist for adding him.

Sadly, I saw this coming.

Not surprised whatever that person's name is now is using it as a talking point now.

As I said in my answer to your previous question, I hope that the people with common sense are going to take a step back and wait for the entire event to be released before passing judgement. I do agree that Disney is toeing a very fine line by including a character based on Frollo, considering my opinions on how they would handle other controversial movies like Mulan (I got full body tremors typing that) or something even worse like Pocahontas.

They also have already made a couple of whoopsies in game, such as how they designed the African characters and Sam's "aesthetic" being taken from voodoo practitioners despite him not being one himself, plus more but I'm not going to list every infraction. I've never excused them for these issues, in some cases they've even listened to people and fixed them. And they've already handled other issues better than expected, which is a lot when knowing where it's coming from. The standards are kinda low.

If I were you and anyone in the TWST fandom who actually enjoys being here, because the rat clown doesn't even seem to actually like the game and is only interested in "fixing" it and trashing it every chance she gets, I would ignore any kind of article that comes out critiquing the devs' choices. Because as is the case with most video game journalism, the articles are written by people who don't even play the games they're writing about or just suck at gaming in general but think that taking a passing glance or trying a single playthrough (and sometimes quitting before getting halfway) is enough for them to earn the right to broadcast their opinion.

The most productive discussions I've seen have been between people who are a) actually part of the player base and have a good understanding of how the world and story work, and b) genuinely interested in hearing other people's opinions and are open to changing their own through these types of conversations. I hope that once the even fully releases we'll see some more of that and it doesn't get drowned out by whiny purity culture babies who see a sequence of colors and get sent into a blind rage.

Either way, TWST is not going to get shut down because they included a character based on Frollo. It's too popular overseas, it's fairly popular here, and it's owned by Disney. It's not going to happen. What might happen is the people who go out of their way to make JP content accessible to everyone will get harassed as if they're the ones who wrote the game and are then bullied into stopping. It wouldn't actually solve the problem; it would just piss everybody off.

#answered asks

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years ago

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Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 6

Hi , do you got any fluffy johnlock with cuddling

(submitted by here-4-tha-ship)

Anonymous asked: hiii got any johnlock fics where sherlock wants a hug but he feels embarrassed to ask john? thank you sm <3

—–

Hi Lovelies!! I sure do! And enough to do a new list too!! So thank you, people don’t ask for this enough these days hahhah! Hope you enjoy!!

See also:

Hugs & Cuddles and Tooth-Rotting Fluff (Pt. 2)

Hugs & Cuddles Pt. 2 /…/

…/ Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 /…

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 4

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 5

A Better Fate Than Wisdom by flawedamythyst (G, 1,339 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, John’s Sexuality Crisis, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending, Fluff) – Nearly four hours pass between their first kiss and their second.

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, 5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

A Hooligans’ Game Played By Gentlemen by scullyseviltwin (E, 15,213 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Rugby as Foreplay, Porn with Lots of Plot, John POV, Ogling, Body Appreciation, Cranky Sherlock, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Touching, Heavy Petting, Blow Job, Botttomlock) – In which John wants to get back in shape, does so, joins a rugby league and has sex with Sherlock Holmes. In that order.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #hugs and cuddles #my fic recs #fluff fics #submission

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pinof · 4 years ago

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Under the cut is the full transcript for The British Get Talking Podcast episode on October 8, 2020 with Dan!

[Interviewer:] Hello everyone! I'm Kylie Pentelow and here we are again. This is the second series of the "Britain Get Talking" podcast from ITV where I talk to some amazing people who open up about the mental well being. Today, Dan Howell is a YouTube star. He rose to fame through his comedy videos that have had more than a billion views. More recently, he's opened up on his YouTube channel about depression and his video "Basically I'm Gay" has had eleven million views. Dan is now writing a book about mental health and is an ambassador for YoungMinds. Dan is obviously funny, but he's also clever and sensitive. To me, it seems he's using his huge profile among young people to really make a difference. I loved talking to Dan and I hope you like listening to this podcast too. Dan, thanks so much for speaking to me today! How are you?

[Dan:] I am a big fan of saying "I'm fine." And that is the absolute worst, most British answer to that question that anyone can give. And it's what people say all the time. And, you know, for me, it's definitely- It's something that instantly says way too much. *laughs* Doesn't it? I mean, you can write a whole essay about "I'm fine" as an answer. "Oh, I don't want to inconvenience you. Oh, I don't want to bore you by talking about whatever I'm going through." And that's very me. I accept that one of my flaws is I don't want to put something on the other person. I don't want to start a whole thing that might bore them. I don't want to sound like I'm moaning, so I'll just go, "I'm fine!" And usually the tone in which I say "I'm fine" immediately betrays the fact that I'm- You know, might be clearly very stressed about something. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] Do you think your kind of friends would pick up or people you know would say, "Oh wait, you sure?" or would they delve deeper?

[Dan:] Everybody I know! They just look at me like, "Okay, Dan." *laughs* Cool, okay. So in ten minutes, we'll be talking about how you actually feel. We just need to get through the kind of ice breaking- Cause, you know, I'm that introvert and I'm quite socially awkward so it takes a while to melt the ice to get through to whatever's there.

[Interviewer:] You're hugely successful! You rose to fame with your YouTube videos. They are very funny!

[Dan:] Mhm. *laughs* Thank you!

[Interviewer:] But you have a few small serious ones in there recently. And you've spoken very openly about your depression. What prompted you to do it in the first place?

[Dan:] Yeah, so that was quite a journey. In case anyone doesn't know- Uh, hi, my name is Daniel Howell. *laughs* And as you say, I was mainly known for being somebody who uploaded comedy videos to YouTube. Which I think, Kylie, is something you and I have in common! I'm aware that you have some toes in the YouTube space.

[Interviewer:] Yeah! Oh my goodness. Back in the day, yeah.

[Dan:] Look at us! We got one toe in traditional media and the other in the Internet.

[Interviewer:] I love this. *laughs*

[Dan:] So yeah, these videos- They were something that I started when I was a teenager and they were just kind of comedy videos about everyday things. So I had like rants about how annoying people are at the airport or what it's like going on public transport. And then I'd, you know, move onto talking about things that people were arguing about in TV shows. It was all very funny. It was all very relatable. And as time went on, I started to be a bit more personal with the stories I was telling. I was saying, "You know what? I'm actually going to tell you today about the time I got fired." It was an awful time in my life but usually the things that are really awful are very funny to laugh at. And people liked that because I was sharing something personal. It was intimate. It made it even funnier because it was real and it was awful. You know, comedy is just tragedy and someone saying you're allowed to laugh at it. And it was in 2017- I'd gone through a few years where I really started to think about my own mental health seriously for the first time. Because I had quite an upsetting childhood, as someone who grew up gay. And I had a lot of issues with depression and various things and really had just never thought about it in my life until any point. And it was only when I was in my mid-twenties that for the very first time, I stepped back and I was like, "You know what? I'm feeling like this and this is something. It's not right and I should do something about it. I came to terms with the fact that I really had been struggling with depression for a very long time. And this is something that's obviously- It's quite hard to firstly accept on a personal level and then to tell anyone about: your friends and family. And for me, I was in this strange place because I had this career as this comedian who was known for sharing these things from my life and being very open and having this great relationship with my audience. And yet, it felt like there was this huge, kind of big secret dark cloud in my life that people didn't know about. And it was especially strange for someone who performs on stage and you know, who did jobs like the one I did on Radio One. And it felt like all the time, I was acting very funny. I was acting very happy and really there was this whole other side to me. And I just decided that for several reasons really, I had to get it out there just so people would know this fundamental thing about me so they'd understand a bit more about my story. But also that I felt, even in 2017, there was so much misconception around discussing mental health and what depression is. And so many people out there that felt like they needed to have this conversation held in a public place. So it was absolutely terrifying for me. But I decided to make one of my typical, you know, comedy videos where I tell stories and I talk about my opinions. Except I opened up about my depression and it was an absolutely huge moment in my life. And I remember being terrified when I hit that upload button. And the response I got was just so much more positive and powerful than I could've ever imagined. Not only because people were saying, "This is so much more compelling because it's real and you're being honest. But so many people had never really had depression explained to them? They were like, "I have loved ones that go through this. I have friends and I've seen it and now I understand it more." And so many other people said, "This is me. I was sat watching this." So people were saying, "I've been struggling with this for years and I didn't know how to talk about it to my family." Other people were saying, "I didn't even know this was me. Now I'm seeing it for the first time." And that really- You know, it was a moment that changed my life in my career for sure.

[Interviewer:] The thing I think you do really well in it is explain the difference between feeling sad and feeling depressed. Can you just explain that?

[Dan:] Well, we all feel sad many times. You know, we can watch a Disney movie and feel sad. *laughs* If something sad happens. But depression is when you notice for a long time that things aren't right. If you're not enjoying the things you should be enjoying. If you're having a real struggle just maintaining the basic things you should be doing: getting out of bed, feeding yourself, opening the curtains. If you feel like you've sunken into a hole. If you're not enjoying the things that you're doing. If you just don't have the energy- You don't want to socialize anymore. Then it's not just that you're feeling sad because an event. It may be that you are depressed and this isn't something that may just blow over. It's something that you need to really acknowledge and then do something to fix.

[Interviewer:] You also talk about how it affects things like your diet as well. Like that was quite a surprise to me. Sometimes you might feel like you might not want to eat at all. Sometimes you eat to try to make yourself feel better.

[Dan:] Absolutely. Yeah, some people when they feel depressed, they just can't eat because you know- I mean, cooking's an effort. I'm one of those people that hates cooking. I mean, I love eating. I hate cooking. So yeah. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] I'm with you.

[Dan:] And this was me sometimes. I would just go, "I don't want to cook." And then I would lay in bed all day and I wouldn't eat. And then another day, I would be feeling, you know, so self indulgent, I'd be like, "I'm going to order just the most decadent, gross amount of pizza no human should be able to consume in one sitting." And then do that just to fill the hole inside my soul with carbohydrates. And that may make you feel good for about ten minutes and then when you're digesting it all the next day, you realize that it's actually just another kind of self destructive behavior.

[Interviewer:] You also talk about medication as well, which I think was really brave. Cause even though lots of people might talk about feeling depressed, they don't share that they're talking any medication for it. In fact, the other day, my close friend shared with me that she was taking antidepressants. And I've known her for a decade and she's never told me that. Actually, it was because she's been listening to this podcast, which is great that she felt that she could share that. But do you think that is important to get the whole kind of picture out there?

[Dan:] I think there's a big stigma around taking medication, which is strange as an absolutely huge amount of the population are taking medication for all kinds of things. And antidepressants are very common. And of course we're saying this knowing that anyone listening- You should always consult a professional. Go to your doctor. Speak to them. For some people, medication works. For some people, it doesn't. It's one of many options but it's definitely something that- It can have big effects on how you behave. On how you need to live day to day. And you shouldn't be afraid of telling people that. It doesn't mean that you're broken. *laughs* It means that you're taking a step to try and get help and be better. And it's brave to share that, so I would encourage anyone that feels bad about the fact that they take medication to try to be more casually open about it. Which I appreciate can be really difficult because it just has this knock on effect of making everyone less ashamed.

[Interviewer:] What was that, kind of, first step like for you? Was it speaking to your family? Or was it going to the doctor when you sought professional help?

[Dan:] Well, the first time I sought professional help I think was when I was at University. I was going through a really hard- Kind of quarter life crisis time where I was thinking, "Oh, what am I doing with my life? Why am I enjoying what I'm doing?" And I just realized that I wasn't functioning on a day to day level. *laughs* And I spoke to one of the counselors at University and this was a positive experience. You know, sometimes if people talk about their mental health at their work place or their University, you hear these horror stories. I had one of those good examples where there was this lovely lady and she said, "It sounds like you have depression and if you need to take some time out of school to do that, then that's the right thing to do." And then I went to the doctor and then you know, we spoke and he said, "Yes, it sounds like this." And that was the first time I acknowledged it. And the first time for the few years, I kind of acknowledged it but I didn't actively work on it that much. And as I said, it was a few years later, when I was in my mid-twenties, when I was like, "No. If this is my normal, this isn't right. And it's something I need to make an effort to pull myself out of."

[Interviewer:] You are writing a book at the moment about this, aren't you? I wonder how that's been because sometimes, it's great, isn't it? To talk about stuff and other times, you actually just wanna be a bit quiet and deal with things, you know, in your own way. But I wonder whether a book has kind of open more things up for you.

[Dan:] Yeah, I mean, you know- Talk about coming out of the closet. Which is something I also literally did. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] We'll talk about that in a sec. *laughs*

[Dan:] Yeah, so the book is called "You Will Get Through This Night" and it is coming out in May next year. So it's only around preorder now, but people can find it on Amazon if they're interested. And it's quite wild for someone like me to write it. The book is a hand book. It's a tool for people to understand their mental health and to make changes to their improve their lives. And the idea behind it is that we are all kind of in this state where as humans in our modern society, there's various things that we feel ashamed to talk about. There's a stigma approaching various things. If we do certain things, we're viewed as weak. We don't want to admit certain things to ourselves and this is about breaking down all of those things and going, "Actually, all of these behaviors that so many of us do day to day are self destructive. These attitudes we have towards these certain things are totally wrong. We need to change the way we think about these things. We need to forgive ourselves slightly more. We need to be more patient." And also just understanding how all the things you do on a day to day basis affect your mental health. Sleep, exercise, socializing. Every single time you have a thought, you need to check that thought and go, "Am I being completely unreasonable and putting myself in a position where I'm going to have a crazy amount of stress or if I'm going to make myself really anxious." And the hope is that with this book, a lot of people will realize, "Oh my god, I do all of these things day to day and I had no idea what profound effect all of these things had on my life." I'm spicing it up slightly by obviously sharing my personal journey- *laughs* With all of these things and as you say- That is quite, uh, a strange experience for me because I- It's obviously been extremely helpful. I mean, it's been blowing my mind just writing this book. The whole thing done in consultation with a qualified psychologist, so obviously I know what I'm talking about when I'm giving this advice. And when I was reading all of the theory for me to turn into this book, I was just sat there myself- *laughs* As I would hope people would be when they read it thinking, "Oh my god, I'm awful! I need to give myself a break. We do all of these things all the time? And I'm making myself feel like this for no reason? That's crazy!" And came to saying, "Right, on this topic, I'm going to share with you what my journey has been dealing with this. Here's my stories about it. It's been simultaneously quite cathartic and to be honest, quite difficult revisiting a lot of these things. Especially if you go through things when you're younger or if you feel that there's certain things that you've moved past from. Then it can be quite upsetting to revisit these things and whilst initially, it was quite a jump to get into that, it definitely makes you realize that confronting things with a clear head, with the best of intentions and some honesty looking at yourself- It really makes you feel a lot better on the other side.

[Interviewer:] How do you cope with doing what you do because the industry you've chosen to work in- Not only like putting yourself out there on YouTube, but also saying, "I'm funny. Look at me, I'm going to make you laugh." You know, that must put a lot of pressure on you. But also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing it can sometimes it can be a bit solitary as well? How do you deal with all of that going on?

[Dan:] Oh god, yeah. I picked as a complete introvert with crippling social anxiety and mild agoraphobia- I picked the absolute worst career possible. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] Yeah!

[Dan:] But maybe, that's why the material is so honest. *laughs* You know? That's why I have so much to work with. I think that, you know, there is an element of being forced to confront your demons that probably helps accelerate my internal growth process. And especially from the comedy perspective, there is a fine line between saying, "I'm going to open myself up for people to laugh at my stories and kind of appreciating that I need to save a bit vulnerability." And it- You know, it was crazy. I made a video called "Trying To Live My Truth" about the concept of authenticity and how in life, if generally, if we aren't being authentic- And this isn't just doing a career that we love. It may be being honest in the relationships that we have day to day in really being true to ourselves about what we want to be doing, where we want to be. If you kind of lie to yourself and go, "Oh, I'm just going to do this for a bit to do here. I'm only having a relationship with these people for now." Eventually, it'll get to you and it will wear you down. That was a really hard thing for me to talk about because I was saying, "There's so many aspects of my life where right now, I feel like I'm not being authentic and I'm realizing it's really taking a toll of me. So some people may have to appreciate that I'm going to have to tell them things and I may not be the person that they thought I was but this is something that I have to do if I need to be happier."

[Interviewer:] We talked earlier about how, you know, you've done some more serious videos. But actually, even your video about depression is really funny. And obviously it's really great to be talking about mental health but we need to not be too worthy about it, don't we? And just- I was watching that video feeling really connected to what you were saying and then a second later, I was laughing out loud and actually, it reminded me a bit of "After Life"- Ricky Gervais' show. I don't know if you watch that but.

[Dan:] *laughs* Yeah, definitely.

[Interviewer:] It's that very fine line that- You know, in one of his scenes, I remember when he was talking to his dad that I was crying and then literally the next second, I was laughing out loud. And I just felt- That's such a positive thing that you do and is that a real conscious thing that you do?

[Dan:] I mean, my default is to always kind of break the tension by making people laugh. And there's a side to that like, "Okay, we can laugh about it but eventually we're going to have to be a bit serious." So you need a bit of both but I think especially when talking about these difficult topics, just making it funny- It breaks that ice. And often by pointing out the silly things that happen as a result of these things, you know, I've been making fun of the fact that I'm depressed all day and my friend's just like pouring popcorn all over my head. Like, "Come on! Enjoy the things that you used to enjoy." It's like okay, that's really silly. That's really goofy. And it's like- But it kind of is silly, you know? And then me kind of taking a step back and realizing, "Yeah, me lounging around in bed all day. Yeah me being afraid to go outside for this reason or that." There are little things that are relatable. They're just a bit silly. And when you can laugh at that- I mean, just laughing or smiling once. We can talk about the health of people with depression. Sometimes putting on a bit of comedy and watching something can really save the day. So I think that there's a real benefit to even the most difficult topics, finding something to make people laugh. It makes it easier.

[Interviewer:] Let's talk about your video that's- I don't know how many millions of views it's got. "Basically I'm Gay." Tell me about that video and why that was important to make.

[Dan:] So that was essentially a coming out video. I mean, I would say it was the biggest moment of my life in a lot of ways. Because I've had a real struggle with sexuality my entire life. I think I've known, on some level, that I was some kind of gay since I was a small child. And I had an incredibly difficult time in school with bullying. I had difficult relationships with some of my family members and it was honestly- It was quite traumatic and I never really realized it because I got used to that state of just accepting that this is the way things are and getting on with it to survive. Kind of very extreme version of the British stiff upper lip to get -on with it. And it was only really when I reached kind of 27/28 when I was like, "Oh my god. No, this is awful! *laughs* I've got so much baggage. I've got a heathrow carousel in my cupboard over here." It was terrible. And I ran away from this entire subject of sexuality because it was just difficult. And there was so much wrapped up in it. And for any courage that it took me for me to talk about mental health or even just, you know, terrible things that happened to me that may be embarrassing when I'm on stage in a little routine or something. For me to not just talk publicly about my sexuality and everything that went into it but just to accept it myself was a huge journey. And you know, it's called internalized homophobia and it's basically from growing up in such a homophobic environment. I was brainwashed, really, to kind of hate myself and not accept the fact of who I was. And this was such a huge part of my mental health- My entire life. To the point where I only acknowledge it truly a few months before I made that video. I think when I was talking about that authenticity thing, I was just like, "I'm a sham." I was on a world tour with my friend. We did a stage show and went to eighteen countries. Think we met about fifty thousand people at these little meet and greets before the shows. And so many people would come up to me and they would be so honest. Some people would cry and they'd just say, "You opening up about depression gave me the strength to turn my life around." Or, "You talking about athenticity made me quit my job." There were other people that said, "I want to come out to my parents just because you talked about being authentic and about your mental health and these things." And I felt like a complete fraud because here I was- I was supposed to be this guy who made the funny videos but at the same time, I was talking about these topics and I was being open about myself. And I was just like, "The hugest thing is still completely hidden and it's something that I know I'm hiding from myself." And I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. So I uploaded this video saying, "I really just need to think about how I can be more authentic because I felt like I've hit this road block in my life where I just can't continue. I've done it for too long. I've put it off and I just feel like in every aspect of my life, I've hit that wall. And until I break through it, I just can't do anything." And I basically disappeared from the Internet for about a year. And in that year, it was a complete journey where I said, I needed to acknowledge it for myself. I realized if I ever wanted to talk about this publicly, there's so many things I need to do. I need to come out to my family. I need to tell friends. I need to think about how it's going to affect my work life and I really just went on this complete crash course of a life wrecking in the start of 2019. *laughs* And it was a huge journey. As I said, I'm this huge socially awkward person so the idea of coming out to my family. Oh, I just couldn't do it. It was just awful. I remember it was Boxing Day 2018 and all my family were just sat watching "Chicken Run" or something. And I was like, "I'm gonna do it. I have to do it at some point, you know? I have to tell the family." And it's this awful thing coming out- It's like nobody wants it to be a big deal. *laughs* It's just because that we live in this world where people are presumed to be straight, it's not like gay people want to cause a big scene by coming out. They have to. Because no matter what, when you tell somebody, it's going to be a big surprise usually. So I'm the last person that wanted to make it all about me. God, I just want to blend into the background. I was thinking, "I'm going to have to completely blow up this Christmas." And I couldn't do it. So I thought that was the perfect opportunity and it's gone now. My family- For about two months, I was just like, "Aw, I ruined it. I ruined it. That was my one chance."

[Interviewer:] Oh gosh, that must have been so stressful! You're just carrying that around.

[Dan:] Oh, it was awful! Yeah and then I went for dinner with my mum. And I was like, "Okay, intimate. I'll do this." And then again, I was like, "I don't want to ruin my mum's birthday by making it all about me." *laughs* Then I left having failed to do it then and I went, "Right, this is getting stupid now." So you know what I did? I wrote an email to all of my family. Just CC'd them on an email and just said, "Hi. Basically I'm gay. Let me know if you want to talk about it. Bye!" And I just hit send and closed my laptop. That is very much- That is the Dan Howell strategy of throwing the hand grenade, closing the door, and going, "Whoops!" And then I got the phone calls and you know, thankfully I think that we're living in a much more kinder, accepting world than we did twenty years ago. I think that we can see when it comes to all kinds of things- The world is getting a lot more smarter and educated and just accepting and more kind. So the reception that I got from my family in 2019 was very kind and loving accepting. And it was really kind of wonderful. It felt like this huge, colossal weight had been lifted from me where I felt like there was this wall between me and my family my entire life, where there was just something that was unsaid. Something that would've explained so much. A fundamental part of who I was. It was so important to get that out there. And as you said earlier, just you know, as someone that as a public figure. As an entertainer who talks about myself for my career, getting this out there? I don't know. It was just absolutely profound so I spent months and months writing this video. And for people that don't know, you'd expect a YouTube video to be a twenty second video of a cat falling down the stairs or something. I ended up putting this forty five minute- *laughs* It was basically a stand up special that I filmed in my office. It was dense. I was like, "Look, if I'm going to talk about sexuality, I've got say strap yourselves in people." And yeah, the moment I hit go on that, it transformed my entire life. It was really just this feeling of this pressure lifting all around me and it felt like age 28, that I finally alive for the first time. And my life had only just begun. Because only now was I actually out there. People knew who I was and I could kind of begin living authentically in world where people actually knew who I was. And that's crazy.

[Interviewer:] Do you wished you'd done it earlier or do you think it was the right time?

[Dan:] *sighs* I do wish I did it earlier. What I would say to anybody- You may be somebody queer in the closet thinking about doing this or you may just be someone who wants to open up to your loved ones about the fact that you may be depressed. Or you just want to be honest about the things in your life saying, "You know what? I really hate my job and it's ruining my life." Or something about the relationships in the life or the friendships. They're just not working. You cannot sit on these things forever. Confronting them an be so difficult. I mean, look at me. I basically went into a cave for a year- *laughs* And had the most socially awkward time ever dealing with it. And it was so difficult but I cannot tell you how free it felt afterwards. So that's definitely something I want everybody listening to this to take away.

[Interviewer:] Did you look at the comments on the video? And if you did, what were they like?

[Dan:] Yeah. I mean, I try not to- *laughs* You know, see what people are saying about me too much but I did. It was all very nice and as I say, you know, I wish I would've done it earlier in my life but I don't think I could've done it earlier in my life. And I didn't. And that was for a reason. I just couldn't have. I just wasn't in the place to. I did it when I did and thankfully we're in a world now that's so much better. And my audience that I have is so kind and loving and accepting. Because you know, I cultivated a following of people that liked me being open about mental health and sharing the most awkward, stupid stories from my life. So when I shared the biggest thing, what was there waiting for me was a community of people that were there to be supportive. And that was just- You know, I feel so lucky that I had that really positive experience. So just like the depression video, people were saying, "I feel seen by this." Or, "I now finally understand what it's like for gay people in a way that I didn't before. I can talk to my mum. I can show my mum this. I'm straight and I had no idea. This is amazing." And just to see that a byproduct of me being honest about myself managed to help people- It really, you know, it helps! *laughs* Cause it's safe to say that I've struggled a lot. I'm someone that is very, very good at beating myself up. I don't ever taking a win. People always say that about me. If something goes very well, they'll be like, "How'd it go Dan?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah. It was alright." "What do you mean? It went great?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah! It's fine." *laughs* So yeah definitely, I feel very lucky it's gone as well as it did.

[Interviewer:] You're an ambassador for YoungMinds as well and you know, you're obviously speaking out, "Hey!" And for your YouTube videos. Do you think there is still a stigma particularly attached to young people and mental health?

[Dan:] I think that definitely young people- When you get into teenage years, everyone's very defensive and they're very aggressive. And I think that a lot of people go into- Especially the school environment feeling scared. They don't want to be judged by other people. They don't want to seem weak. They're proactively feeling scared and defensive and aggressive to protect themselves from being harmed by people cause you're just so scared. So definitely. People don't want to admit that they have anxiety. I think that young queer people might not feel like you know, "I can't do this now. It's not worth the risk." And I think that the YoungMinds charity, which is part of the Royal Foundation that Harry and Will support, does such amazing jobs cause they not only create material to help young people understand, "If you're feeling like this, you might have anxiety. That's not normal. And here's how to help." But they also reach out to parents to say, "This is how you can observe these things that may be happening in your family and realize it may be silent. It may not be talking about it. It may be this huge issue happening right in front of you." And as well, they're helping the schools cause I think it's definitely safe to say that schools could do it a lot better in protecting mental health of the young people that go to them. So it's definitely one of the off shoots of me opening up about depression. Being apart of this amazing charity that does such great work. It helps me sleep at night.

[Interviewer:] And we'll hear, um, about an appeal actually to raise money for mental health including Mind and YoungMinds in a minute. It's so important, isn't it? That they exist. That they're even out there for us.

[Dan:] It's a lifeline for people because I think that anyone who struggled with any mental health issue listening to this would know that that one conversation- That first conversation. First olive branch that you get reaching out to you. That could be what saves your life. So it may feel like, "Oh, we've talked about this enough. Doesn't everyone know about mental health right now?" And there may be someone listening to this that's going, "You know what? That's me. I've got that thing that I haven't shared yet. I need to have that conversation. I need to have that one moment where someone listens to me, acknowledges how I feel." And definitely, it's just such a huge part of everyone's life. And it's completely silent. There's still so much more to do.

[Interviewer:] I hate this word, Dan, but I'm gonna say it. It sounds like you've been on a real journey. *laughs* I can't think of a better word.

[Dan:] *laughs* Oh no. I've been full hobbit there and back again, yeah. It's been a real around the world adventure. And you can watch it all on the internet, god.

[Interviewer:] I wonder if you could talk about kind of just the lowest point but then the kind of real highs. Cause then, at the moment, it sounds like you're in a really good place.

[Dan:] I mean, I'm definitely in a better place. I think that none of us should ever feel like we've solved all our issues and we're fine. You know, that was me, age 22. I was like, "Cool! Apparently I've got depression. That's fine. I know what to do it." It's like no, you need to- You need to make an effort. You need to really think about all the things in your life. You need to talk to a doctor. I think that, you know, for me- My lowest point was definitely when I was teenager. There was a point where I actually tried to take my own life because the struggles that I had with my sexuality were just so extreme within my friend group and school and everything that I was hearing from the world. I just really felt like, "I'm broken. This is not right." I looked at the world around me and I thought, "There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere else. I know everything." So it was that impulse impulse is what I think people in this situation feel. Where they just think, "This isn't about anyone and this isn't a rational decision, but I just feel like there's nowhere to go. And I need to hit the escape hatch." And I was so wrong because as I got older and time progressed, I just realized that the world is so big. And even if you feel like you're trapped in a situation, time can change everything. And if I just knew how much the world would change. How much my life would change. Not just with my career, but just moving to a different city. Meeting new people. I wasn't stuck. There was nothing like that and that was definitely the lowest point. And I feel so glad that I managed to make through that time. And the fact that you know, I made it through all these years and- *laughs* This journey that I went on. Kind of very publicly. Going from like- I think I even made a YouTube video just before I got a job at Radio One saying, "I'm going to drop out of Law School to try to make it as an entertainer." And everyone at the time was like, "You're an idiot. What are you doing? What?!" *laughs* Cause this before anyone had a career on the internet, you know? They were like, "Okay,so the BBC wants to give you this job. That's kind of cool. But are you sure you don't want to be a lawyer? That seems cool." My granddad was not happy.

[Interviewer:] I'm bet. *laughs*

[Dan:] You can see this whole journey and you know, from doing everything I did with Radio One to writing a book and to end up in a position where me just going on the journey that I need to go on personally ends up being shared with the world- That can do something for other people is just a bonus that makes me feel just really happy. Not just personally, but for the state that the world is in.

[Interviewer:] Aw Dan, it's been so nice chatting to you today. Thank you so much for your time.

[Dan:] It's been really nice. It's been like a therapy session. It's very cathartic! [Interviewer:] That's good! I'm for me. Great! Dan, thanks so much.

[Dan:] Thank you very much. Have a nice day, everyone.

#dan and phil #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years ago

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Jan/Feb 2021 Picks

HELLO! It’s been a while, but I’M BACK!! Life has gotten a lot busier as I started Grad School this January. So, I feel it may be tough being on time with future Monthly Wraps like I’ve done in the past with working on my MFA, and my job. I’m going to probably do more seasonal wrap ups when I get the time. I also think I’ll be posting more individual posts as I watch an episode. Because even with a busier schedule, there is always time for TV and there’s so much I want to talk about!

You know the drill. Spoilers are coming.....

You’ve been warned :)

WANDAVISION

I want to start off by mentioning that I have not watched this week’s episode yet. So the last one I saw was EPISODE 6 with Halloween in the late 90s/early 2000s.

THIS SHOW! OMG.

I didn’t know what I was signing up for when I watched the first episode and I have been blown away. It is such a cool concept and I love the fact that everyone who watches it is confused. There have been so many interesting theories out there and I am so curious what is going to wind up being true. I love all the nods to old sitcoms and TV shows as well as all the MCU Easter Eggs. (I mean they got X-men’s Quicksilver-like WOW.) It feels really Black Mirror at times with the breaking of the fourth wall. I will never be able to shake the feeling I got in Episode 3, when Vision reversed. (And then I saw a bunch of videos with him looking at the camera as Wanda looks at the TV. Eww I don’t like it, but it’s such a good move on their point.) I love the outside plot as well and the characters who were previously side characters in other MARVEL movies. The love for Jimmy Woo is astounding and I’m here for it. I’m glad it’s Friday, so I can watch the next episode. I’m just upset that we’re so close to the show ending. The next Disney Plus Marvel shows better be just as good. Wandavision set the bar high.

NANCY DREW

If you’ve visited this page recently, you know I have a very strong love for this show. It is the only one I am still watching religiously on the CW and I am tuning in the night it airs. (That is HUGE for me.) IT IS JUST SO GOOD AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START....

2x05 just aired, which would have been the season 1 finale before COVID and I have it saved on my DVR to watch again. There’s just so much I want to relive and catch that I missed the first watch through. It would have been SUCH A GOOD FINALE, but I’m happy that we can continue with new episodes starting next week. And with the way it ended...there’s so much I need to know!! I’m just curious how fast they’re going to develop certain plots. I love the Drew Crew and how they are a family. Each character is so well developed and their chemistry is great. I love learning more about each of them and watching them develop. My favorite character is definitely Ace. I love all his witty lines and how he is opening up more to the group as well as to us, the audience, as we get more of a look into his personal life. I enjoy all of his scenes with his dad and specifically liked when they were celebrating Shabbat. (I am also here for the Nancy and Ace content. I gush more about this on my other blog: lydia-whogowith-stiles. Check it out if you want to hear more.)

THE WATCH

When I watched the Christmas special (or was it New Years? and why does that feel so long ago) of Doctor Who, BBC America kept advertising a new show called the Watch. Due to the extensive amount of commercials, I decided to tape the first two episodes (which premiered back to back) to see what it was all about. I was unaware that this series is based on the book series created by Terry Pratchett. When I came to see if people were talking about it on Tumblr, I saw that a lot of people didn’t like it because of how drastically different it was. As I was unfamiliar with the original, I can’t compare. The TV show was eight episodes and I just watched the last one that aired this past Sunday. I definitely liked the first half of the season more (I noticed my mind start to drift as I watched later ones), but thought the finale was good. I really enjoyed how they incorporated the theme song. I didn’t realize the connection earlier and now can’t stop humming it. (I don’t know if there will be another season or not.) I enjoyed the characters and how it was like nothing I’ve seen on TV before. It got me thinking a lot about blending genres. I would still recommend checking it out.

ZOEY’S EXTRORDINARY PLAYLIST

I was VERY excited for this show to come back. I loved the first season so much. It’s just such a heartfelt show and it helped me survive the early parts of quarantine. So far, this season I am noticing how detailed the musical performances are. Mandy Moore is doing an AMAZING job. The choreography is *chefs kiss* I also feel like the song choices have been great and not always the ones I think that would be picked. We are getting to learn more about each character and watch Zoey and her family as they continue life after losing Mitch. I am here for Mo and Max’s restaurant. I think the concept would be so cool in real life. Who knows maybe we’ll see one now. (Max’s rendition of ‘Numb’ was amazing. I’ve never heard the song like that and I think it might be one of my favorites of the season so far.) I hope Max and Zoey get back together by the end of the season. It did feel fast, so I do understand why they had to break up, but it still makes me sad that we watched them get together and then it was taken away from us. The last episode before the break was so powerful and I think the show did an amazing job applying real world issues into their plot. It did not feel forced at all and brought so much awareness. Upset we have to wait so long for a new episode.

SECRETS OF SULPHUR SPRINGS

Are you looking for a good mystery, but don’t think Disney Channel can provide it? Think again. I have to say, when I started watching I was not expecting this show to be a part of my monthly picks. It pleasantly surprised me. The show involves the mystery of a young girl, Savannah, who went mysteriously missing at camp back in the 90s. Apparently, her ghost still haunts the hotel that was on the camp grounds to this day. Then Griffin and his family buy the hotel with intent of fixing it up and reopening it after all these years. The people in the town think they’re crazy because of its past. But there’s something more going on with Griffin’s dad as well as some of the other adults in the town. They know something about Savannah’s disappearance, but aren’t saying anything about it. While this is a kid’s show (and only half hour episodes) it has been interesting to see where the story will go. I’m sure I am imagining much more intense things for her disappearance than what actually happened. It’s also not super cheesy or have bad acting, which is refreshing. (I really feel Disney Channel has gone down.) Either way, I don’t know how many episodes are left to air, but I think we’re pretty close to the end. If you’re looking for a quick, entertaining mystery I would highly recommend.

MISS SCARLET AND THE DUKE

And here come my period pieces (ironically both from Masterpiece/PBS this time). I know last year I felt like I watched a lot of historical watches at the beginning of the year. We’ll see if that continues to happen this year too. It does serve as a nice escape. Plus, these are some really good stories.

Miss Scarlet and the Duke is a part of Masterpiece Mystery on PBS, although it aired on a different network in the UK. It is (another) mystery series (shocking I know with that title!) It follows Eliza Scarlet who has a nose for mystery, but as a woman living in the Victorian era does not have any rights except for being a wife and mother (two things she would rather not be). When her father dies (apparently from a heart attack...emphasis on apparently), she takes over his Private Investigator business. Much to the dismay of long time family friend William “The Duke” who is a Detective Inspector for Scotland Yard. Eliza is often in his office as she gets arrested for being places she shouldn’t or trying to get information out of him. This element of Eliza having to work in a very male dominated Victorian society is one that I feel I haven’t really seen on a TV show. I really like her dynamic with William. There’s always that feeling of “will they won’t they,” but I don’t feel the show just focuses on that. The mystery is the heart of it all. This last week’s episode was REALLY GOOD. As we got to find out more regarding her father’s death. I hear a lot of people want a season 2 and I am right there with them. This show deserves it.

ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

Another PBS Masterpiece watch. I love this show, so much more than I was anticipating. It is so heartfelt and makes me so happy and in a good mood after watching it. It follows James Herriot who has recently graduated from veterinary school, but is struggling finding a job. Then he gets a call from Siegfried Farnon’s veterinary practice in Yorkshire. Siegfried is known for having a harsh demeanor and temper, so the assistants he hires don’t often last long. Spoiler alert, that should be pretty obvious, James does. The cast of characters are so lovely and I like all their relationships with one another. The show takes places in the 1930s and I realized I don’t often watch things in this era, so that has been fun to explore. The sets and locations are BEAUTIFUL. In the episodes, we often get these amazing shots that sweep over the exterior and I want to travel to Yorkshire like tomorrow. (See more escapism, it’s great.) The main plot follows everyone interact in the town and watching James become a more confident and experienced veterinarian (which I decided I could never do after watching). I heard that it has been renewed for a second season so that is so fantastic.

FATE: THE WINX SAGA

The first things I heard about this show was how disappointed everyone was in how they decided to adapt the Winx Club show from their childhood. On this I can agree, but I decided to watch the show anyway. I pretended that it was something new entirely and I have to say I enjoyed it. Of course, there were parts that bothered me and then I had to remember it was a teen show, so angst would be annoying. I think overall it was too short (and should have at least 8 or 10 episodes), but I’m happy that they were able to conclude the main plot well. (Although we did get that cliffhanger, but it is exciting that it was released the show just got renewed for a second season the other day.) I really liked Silva-mainly because it was great seeing Thomas from Downton Abbey in something else. I also enjoyed seeing Jacob Duchman in more things. It was a surprise to see him in Medici and I am just happy he is adding more to his IMDB.

Quick and addicting watch. Add it to your queue. Just forget it’s supposed to be based on something else.

BLOWN AWAY SEASON 2

Continuing with the Netflix picks, one of my FAVORITE picks from 2020 got a season 2 and it is already on Netflix! That’s right Blown Away season 2 is now available. I seriously loved the first season of this show SO MUCH! Glass blowing is such a magical process and I am mesmerized every time I watch it. It felt weird starting this show with all new contestants, but then Alex came back as a guest judge and I was so happy. It is just as addicting and I cannot wait to see who wins this season. I am just trying not to rush the episodes.

VIOLETTA SEASON 3 UPDATE

I know you were all dying to know...

After taking a hiatus from watching during the holidays, I have gotten back into watching the Disney Channel telenovela on Disney Plus. I am now on episode 68. Things are really starting to happen and I am finding myself getting sucked in again, which makes me happy. Episode 60 (pictured above) had A LOT happen and really was a turning point for the second half of the show. Can’t wait to keep watching. Some really awesome songs from these last set of episodes.

AND NOW FOR MY NOT LOVING IT PICK:

LEGACIES

This third season has really disappointed me so far. As I’ve previously discussed on this page, it feels like they are just reusing previous plots from the last two seasons when there is so much more they can do. There was so much promise for this show and I loved the Vampire Diaries and Originals so much, that it’s sad to see Legacies miss the mark. I wish they gave Hope more storylines that didn’t revolve around Landon. She is such a strong character and is SO POWERFUL. This is something we rarely see and it shouldn’t only be shown to save a guy (multiple times). Their couple plot is continually doing the same thing. I want to see a lot more development with this show over this season to keep me watching. I am actually happy that there isn’t a new episode until March 11th. (That’s saying something...)

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morganmeyers · 3 years ago

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Big Reading

So I did this super intense reading last night that was the biggest reading I’ve ever done and it wasn’t for just me so I’m going to share it here. If you see this, it might be for you so take what resonates and leave the rest.

IMPORTANT BEFORE READING: MEDITATE AND GROUND YOURSELF! There is a lot of information that is about to be unpacked in this reading.

I did this reading by using my Santa Muerte Tarot and Oracle cards. With the Oracle cards, I will be explaining what they mean, the significance behind them and what I saw in the cards while reading them. Songs also came up on my phone on shuffle, so Shufflemancy also plays a part in this reading as well. These songs came up before I started the reading that I felt were important:

Gabbie Hanna - Honestly

Halestorm - Uncomfortable

XXXTENTACION - Save Me

In total for all of the cards that got pulled, there was 44. The angel number 44 means: pay attention to your intuition & inner-wisdom as your connection with your guides is VERY strong at this time. This is a very prominent theme that goes with this reading.

Oracle Cards:

Darkness - 1 - Coming out of the shadows and showing your face. Standing in YOUR power. Meditation. Meditation. MEDITATION. The song Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus came in my phone on shuffle mode. Some lyrics that stood out to me: “The Midnight Sky is the road I’m taking, head high up in the clouds. I was born to run, I don’t belong to anyone, I don’t need to be loved by you.

Masculine - 2 - Don’t be afraid to ask questions. You might not like the answers given, but take it in stride and make the best of it. The song Cancer by My Chemical Romance came up in my head when reading this card. When looking at it, I see a gas mask. Maybe it has something to do with being gaslighted by someone close to you? Either way there are some hard lessons that you’re about to learn. The color red is very prominent not only in this card but the reading in general. Red refers to Family, Love, partnerships, etc. Someone in your family/close to you isn’t telling you the truth or respecting who you are or your boundaries. Don’t take their shit. They’re afraid of whatever truth they’re hiding to come out.

Tlaloc - 9 - Tlaloc is an Aztec god of rain & fertility. He was very feared but also respected in the fact that he could water the fields of labor with one hand and could very easily destroy that same field with the other. In this card, I saw the color of green. Green is in reference to getting justice upon whatever your situation may be. Take no shit but do no harm. While you are being disrespected by whoever it is in your situation, it’s not a good idea to do the same to them. Whatever revenge you want to exact upon the person in question, don’t do it. It will bite you in the ass. The song Bow Down by the band I, Prevail came on: “I don’t really like myself, I think I’m breaking down.”

Mictlantecuhtli - 10 - I almost immediately saw Rafiki from the Lion King when looking at this card. Not everything is as black and white as you’d like it to be. You have to look at the other person’s POV before taking any sort of action. Watch what you say and do.

Tezcatlipōca - 12 - Tezcatlipōca is an Aztec god of night, war, education & temptation. I immediately paid attention to the cheetah print cloak. Maybe the action that needs to be taken upon whoever it is needs to be a fast action. He’s also missing a leg from a battle he fought. When meditating, you need to assess what things in your life you need to sacrifice or cut out when going into this next stage of your life. Not everything you can take with you. Some things you DEFINITELY cannot take with you. 2 songs came up with this card.

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie: “It Wasn’t you, baby it was me.”

Linkin Park - Bleed It Out: “Mama help me, I’ve been cursed, death is rolling in every verse, candy paint on his brand new hearse, can’t contain him he knows he works. Fuck this hurts, I won’t lie. Doesn’t matter how hard I try. Half the words don’t mean a thing and I know that I won’t be satisfied”

Huitzilopachtli - 13 - Huitzilopachtli is an Aztec god of the son & War. The sun is a very prominent theme in this reading. The color blue very much stood out to me with this card. Blue is in reference to Wisdom, increased mental powers & concentration. What drew my most attention was the 4 swords in the back. I went through my tarot deck because the 4 of Swords wasn’t originally a card that was pulled but when I did look at it, it was reversed. What I got from this card specifically, it looks like to me you’re taking the nails out of a coffin. Make plans to trust your intuition & take the nails/swords out of the coffin you previously stored away but do it with caution like the humming bird on the Huitzilopachtli #13 oracle card in the left corner so you don’t get burnt.

Chalchiuhtlicue - 14 - Chalchiuhtlicue is an Aztec goddess of water, lakes, seas, sailors, beauty & fertility. I saw the thunderbolts upon the top of the head first. The day of reckoning/judgement day is coming. 3 songs came up with this one.

Beatles - Yer Blues

AC/DC - Thunderstruck

AC/DC - Back In Black

Go with the flow because you’re at the point of no return and there’s no way for you to go back. At all. Embrace that power, that thunder, as your own.

I saw Mama Imelda & Hector from the Disney movie COCO when looking at this card as well and heard another song by Rihanna called Hate That I Love You (Feat. Ne-Yo). Some lyrics: “And I can’t stand you. Must everything you do make me want to smile? Can I not like you for awhile?” And “I despise that I adore you”

Tlazolteotl - 15 - Tlazolteotl is an Aztec goddess of earth, sex, moon & birth. The moon and the birth is what I saw first. A rebirth of sorts will take place. You need to do shadow work as your ego needs to be put in check but you also need to trust your intuition. If you feel something is off, it is. And it needs to be fixed.

Quetzalcóatl - 16 - Quetzalcóatl is the most important god in the Aztec pantheon. He is a god of Knowledge, dawn, merchants, arts & professions. I thought of Pepita from Coco. Pepita is an Alebrije which in Latin cultures is more so a spirit guide taking the form of an animal. Your spirit guides are trying to tell you something so you need to pay TF attention! Do not fear and do not give up. Through perseverance and insistence, you will reach the goal that you desire and that most of all, you deserve.

Shadow - 17 - Most of people that I know and know me, know that I’m afraid of Spiders. Always have been and probably always will. I saw spiders crawling all across the face on this one. Embrace your fears and face them head-on. Now is the time to do some HEAVY shadow work and work on yourself in general. Be mindful of your thoughts, feelings & words towards yourself and others during this time.

Intellect - 22 - Some of you will be getting MAJOR downloads in the coming days and or will be doing some heavy studying. Keep your brain busy and analyze the situation your facing with rational though. Yellow is also a prominent color in this reading and this card. Yellow represents thoughts, Wisdom and knowledge.

Flux - 24 - The song Carolyn by Black Veil Brides came up with this card. Lyrics: “I wished to god I’d known that I, I didn’t stand a chance of looking back in knowing why. A pain of circumstance.”

Breaking. Generational. Curses.

You’re doing it now. You’re working on yourself and putting yourself first before undoing everything else and that’s a good thing! KEEP GOING!

You have the world in your hands to take time and reflect on your lineage/ancestors.

Harvest - 27 - The sun in the corner. You will be able to eat the fruits of your labor one day and so will your future family/successors if you continue to go forth in braking those curses put upon your family line.

Art - 29 - Your ancestors and spirit guides are watching you in awe for doing the work you’re doing. They see you painting the sun card and creating your own happiness and they’re cheering you on. Keep doing the good work you’re doing.

Santa Muerte - 32 - Be absolutely sure that what you cut out in your life is what you want to be gone. Once it is, there’s almost no way of getting it back. Trust your intuition.

Tarot Cards:

Fool ⬇️

Magician ⬆️

Lovers ⬇️

Temperance ⬆️

Devil ⬆️

Tower ⬆️

Sun ⬆️

Judgement ⬆️

2 of Cups ⬆️

6 of Cups ⬇️

Page of Cups ⬆️

Knight of Cups ⬆️

King of Cups ⬇️

Ace of Pentacles ⬆️

2 of Pentacles ⬆️

3 of Pentacles ⬆️

4 of Pentacles ⬆️

5 of Pentacles ⬆️

7 of Pentacles ⬇️

King of Pentacles ⬇️

Ace of Swords ⬇️

6 of Swords ⬇️

Page of Swords ⬆️

Queen of Swords ⬆️

King of Swords ⬇️

2 of Wands ⬇️

3 of Wands ⬇️

6 of Wands ⬇️

Queen of Wands ⬆️

Like with the Oracle cards, you’re on a journey of self healing & breaking generational curses. You’re on a path that you can’t turn around and go back on. You need to keep walking forwards. Right now it seems like things in your life are in disarray and that’s for a reason. You’re on your current path and dealing with these issues head-on so that others that come after you, don’t have to, they’re gonna have other issues that need to be dealt with. However, the heavy load of the curses/trauma is being dealt with you now in this lifetime because you are the most capable even though it might not seem like you think you are. Going through the trauma is what’s going to bring you so much happiness and everything you could ever hope for.

You are so near the end of the finish line in dealing with everything that it’s so unnecessary for you to even attempt to turn around and undo al do the hard work you’ve already done. Why would you want to go back to all of the trauma? You don’t. Don’t sacrifice yourself for others who clearly don’t give a SHIT about you. FUCK. THAT.

Do what you believe is good for you and your higher self and go forth in doing things that you’re passionate about. Don’t let others lie to you and walk all over you. They don’t know you like YOU do. If you can sense that someone is going something that isn’t good or can tell that they’re not telling you the truth of something that’s going on, that’s most likely the case.

You need to assess what you’re willing to let slide and willing to take with you in the next chapter of your life cause you won’t be able to bring everything with you. And when you do and you set your boundaries by putting your foot down HARD, there will be others waiting for you on the other side cheering you on because you make it to the other side a FAR better person that where you were when you started your journey. Not everybody is worthy to walk with you if they continue to act the way that they do and you have to accept that or nothing will come of the changes you’ve made for your happiness.

#witchcraft #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #oracle #oracle cards #oracle reading #santa muerte #santa muerte tarot #Santa muerte oracle

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 3 years ago

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i havent been here in a hot second is there a reason for the makoto hate specifically? like the rants go back to p5's writing issues but the spite for makoto seems very specific did she kill someones dog in one of the spinoffs or what?

You're all good. So here's the thing, she did kill my dog-I'm joking.

When I say “I’m the residential #1 Makoto Hater” it’s a joke, partially cause it probs looks that way (and probs cause it might be true, who knows if you could quantify hate then maybe I’m at the top of the leaderboards 8U but you can’t so we’ll never know). But I’m saying it at as a joke, to own myself and everyone here that knows what I think of her, rather than wear it as a badge of honor or some silliness. It’s just a “oh haha yeah there goes Silly, dunking on Makoto again! She’s basically Makoto’s #1 hater haha oh she’s so silly.” (so please don’t look too deep into it, I just want to have fun).

Anyway, me hating Makoto isn’t new, but I do hold a similar ire towards Futaba, Goro (tho I have camaraderie with his fans, I relate to their struggle in terms of my own brown hair and red eye fav and Atlus screwing them over u_u I may hate your fave but I respect you and will be in your corner), and Yukari (as well as Chloe from LiS if you want a non-Persona example). Makoto might be talked about more because 1) She hits my buttons that much faster (Futaba/Goro are more like a festering wound, and when I talk about them it’s hard to pick a starting point), 2) Her fans tendency (early on in the fandom) bringing her up frequently.....was a bad combo with #1 (overexposure+pushing all my buttons really fast=disaster). Obvie not blaming her fans, but it was hard to curate how I was able to curate my content online (esp with gaming news websites calling her “best girl” when showing off a figure announcement or some BS when I just want to know what new games have been announced >.> I can do without you trying to start a waifu war in the comments Siliconera -_-)

Anyway, I think I’ve made my reasons for hating her very clear (you just have to search her name on my blog and you’ll get a ton of essays I’m sure, too many to count). And a lot of it is the failure of P5′s writing. “So it’s just the writing you hate, not the character.” No. Because that doesn’t make sense. Except under certain circumstances (which I’ll provide examples of below with Luke Skywalker), you can’t separate the writing from the character. The character IS the writing, the writing IS the character. If you can’t hate/dislike the char because “of the writing” then you also can’t love/like them either. The character and the writing/writing choices for that character are connected. The writing embodies that character. They are the same.

Now I said there was an exception, and that’s....”different writer/director,” tho it’s not ALWAYS the case (sometimes the new writer really gets the original writing, like Saito for MM.....they are very good at emulating the clusterfuck of P5′s writing). P5′s writing is the original basis for Makoto’s character, that’s her. You can’t separate it from her. Same thing with say....Luke Skywalker from the OG trilogy, that’s him. But then we get to the sequel/Disney trilogy, new writer/director....and yeah that’s a mess (from what I understand OG trilogy=Hopeful and tries to see the best in people, 2nd Disney=Cynic and tried to kill a child, 3rd Disney=Hopeful again for some reason). There’s character development, then there’s just straight up changing the character just cause you need them to be this now.

*writes how this can apply to Persona spinoffs but deletes because I was getting too off track* Look at me exercising control. It’s probs best I save that for a meta after I’ve replayed all the spinoffs again.

But....if you want me to boil down my issues with Makoto, I hate the message we get from her. I hate the lesson we learn from her. What is supposed to happen vs what happens. It’s supposed to be about a girl who is blindly following authority and becomes disillusioned with it after being burned by it, on top of “immense pressure” she has as well, and then comes to our side (we know this because Atlus told us). We don’t get that (we know this because we saw the execution). We get two adults, yes TWO ADULTS, one of which is her sister and wants her to do well in school (but isn’t like.....a tiger mom about it, because Sae can’t be TOO horrible because we need to like her later), who in retrospect seems very busy with her job (which gives Makoto freedom), but also feels burdened by her younger sister (in which she has one shitty slip with her and then NEVER again). And the other is a dumbass principal who asks a really strange and stupid task for Makoto that snowballs into bullshit. That’s IT! THAT’S IT! That’s all we get from Makoto and “authority.” Strawmen. We don’t really get much of her personality either (I’m not saying that cause “she’s cardboard” I legit just.....don’t get her? Like I don’t get enough of her to get a solid foundation, you get me?) Like as the player, what we see of her is she’s just studying in the library (Kamo arc), then the principal calls her in, she mentions the rumors about Kamo, he asks her to look into the PT in exchange for a recommendation (to which she’s surprised and says thanks, not no, she looks like she’ll accept JUST BASED ON THAT) but before she can even say Yes (OR NO) he threatens Makoto with her sister, to which Makoto hardens and then agrees. Then she acts like an asshole and yadda yadda stuff happens.

But if she’s supposed to blindly follow authority, she’d say yes, but then they don’t let the character breathe so she can make the “wrong” choice because the Principal goes STRAIGHT to threatening her.......so now the message is muddled, or really it’s non existent. The whole Sae thing is a nothing bag too, it’s just family drama. Her sister is, no HAS to be absent a lot for her work, just so Makoto can have the freedom to be a PT....which means....it hurts her lack of freedom and other stuff associated with Sae being a big pressure on Makoto’s life. You know, I’ve said before they’ve squandered Sae, and that Makoto’s presence really harmed Sae (iirc it was this post). But at the same time, how they handled Sae really screws up Makoto’s character. Neither are allowed to breathe. Neither are allowed to make a true, horrible choice...and then learn from it. They aren’t allowed to have an actual arc. Altus played it safe, took choice away from them, didn’t want to take risks with either character and have meaning. Instead we just have this nothing contradiction thing dicking around until they join our team.

What really sucks about that....is we got that with the Kamo arc. With Anne, Ryuji, even Yuki and Shiho. Kamo was manipulative, and his manipulation caused people to make....not the best choices, all out of a means to survive. Ryuji physically acted against Kamo, and he got his leg broken, team disbanded, and outcasted. Anne was trying to protect Shiho’s position on the team, which lead to her almost getting harmed by Kamo, Shiho getting harmed, her not seeing the truth about what was going on around her, and she didn’t tell Shiho (because she didn’t want Shiho to think she didn’t get on the team for her own merits), and so on. Shiho didn’t tell Anne what was going on because she wanted to protect Anne from Kamo (and was afraid Anne would, very much blame herself), and her and Yuki and the rest of the teams helped keep quiet about Kamo so they wouldn’t be next on the physical chopping block. This isn’t me blaming them, this is me showing their choices, their attempts to fix their (hopeless) situation, to help themselves or others, and the dramatic irony being it just made everything worse. BUT, even tho Kamo was the real one to blame, each character is aware of the actions that were made, and the consequences of each action (esp Anne/Ryuji/Shiho). And in their CoOps, they identify this, and take strides to learn from it so it doesn’t happen again. That’s an arc. That’s character development. They were allowed to make errors, mistakes, decisions that negatively impacted themselves/other’s. We see a solid foundation of their character from the get go, and how it changes over that small time. We don’t get that with Makoto. The group is like solid concrete to Makoto who is like shifting sand.

Sorry got a bit off topic, anyway, I hate her message of boasting about her fighting ability but she only harms her friends (outside of shadows, but that’s not special) WHILE ALSO being a damsel that needs someone else to rescue her! I hate how when she gets called out, she wants to drop it, and gives gaslighty apologies, even tho she really ROYALLY screwed lot of people very badly. I hate how she demands us to help, only to literally be a detriment to our investigation. I hate how she gets to fly off the handle without repercussions (despite needing to be cool calm and collected for her job, especially since she miraculously can do that when needed so what the hell????). I hate how the text has her be shitty, say shitty things, be bad at her job, but will turn around and reward her time and time again.

Sure she doesn’t break the lore like Futaba, or unravel P5′s plot like Goro. But as a character with a message attached to her, even ones that the creators surely overlooked (I’m sure they didn’t intend for her to only hit her friends), it’s simple but very annoying. Fast and easy to see, doesn’t require me to think of P5′s lore as well as the grander Persona lore. Doesn’t require me to dig through text for Goro bread crumbs and then unravel the entire basis of the P5 plot thanks to him. Makoto is easier to get into, it’s smaller scale and more personal I guess.

#silly asks #silly answers #makoto salt #the thing with Kamo's arc is that when you ask 'why' to why a character or a situation is the way it is you can give a decent 'because'#when you ask 'why' with kane's arc.....you don't get that #you get a 'because' but then you keep asking 'why'#why does makoto have to stalk the PT? Because the principal is making her do it #But why is he making her do it? Because the conspiracy is breathing down his neck.#1) WHY her tho? seems a bit contrived and might not work 2) WHY do they care about some principal?#Because......um...... For 2 because he's part of the conspiracy.#Why is he part of the Conspiracy then? Um....they put him there?#BUT WHY did they put him there? Cause....it's prestigious?#BUT the game said Kamo fixed the school's bad rep so it wasn't always that...and he hired kamo.....SO WHY does he owe them getting a job at-#-a shitty school? WHY did he need help getting a job there? WHY is Haru there if-#you see? kane's arc unravels a good portion of what P5 (a least school) is based off of #vs Anne #Why won't Shiho tell Anne about the abuse? She's afraid anne might think it's her (anne's) fault and she loves her friend and wants to-#protect her. why doens't anne tell shiho? Anne doesn't want shiho to think it's shiho's fault and wants to protect shiho #kamo's arc is full of dramatic irony and people making wrong choices (which they might not realize in hindsight)#why doesn't anne know shiho is being abused? Anne thinks shiho is upset about her position on the team also Kamo won't let anyone watch #the practices so we just take the team's words at face value also the teams are protecting kamo to keep from getting hurt-#also shiho won't tell anne anything and so anne just assumes it's a rough practice and that shiho is afraid of losing her spot ALSO #ALSO anne isn't psychic also anne is outcasted from the rest of the school so she doesn't interact with them so she doesn't know what's up-#with other people and-#you can go on they have their bases covered in kamo's arc they have reasons #kamo's arc is also a bit more grounded (kane being ungrounded because of the stupid princpal and his bs0 #sorry for the side rant just.......#you don't have to agree with decisions in the kamo arc...but at least they GAVE us reasonings (and the chars are aware #in hindsight that their decisions weren't great and chose to learn from them)

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jesshq · 4 years ago

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Hey guys I need to get something off my chest....

I have multiple issues when responding to art and etc. And will end up accidentally saying something that ether: angers, annoys or upsets the artist....

I even have a short train of thought....problems speaking...I rambled all the time (ether of art or not even just my own headcons or ships)....

I have even got blocked for reasons because of my issues...

Some people claim I’m immature, annoying and not acting my age but it’s hard for me to do anything:

1. I have had to have a EA with me for every thing in school even easier classes due to my learning issues. Due to that I kinda was separated with learning like my class mates (sometimes the only one)

2. Due to my issues the minute I get criticized for something I did, or I did something wrong, get called names and etc. I get upset very upset to the point I wanna punish myself when I upset someone.

3. I never had friends, no seriously.....kindergarten to grade 12 I had NO one but a small handful and even then me and them never hung out due to my interest except one...who is currently in collage during these times (COVID-19)

4. My family is a hard one to get along with and anything done: mom works home care in the evenings (2-3pm to 10-11pm) and has back issues, dad works at a hog barn mornings (6am to 2-7 pm (depending on what he’s doing shipping or drawing blood from pigs), my little sister tends to downgrade me a lot...calling me names like: annoying, dumbass, bitch, retarded and many more (parents have tried to stop her) and her boyfriend has moved in...

5. I do a good amount of chores and I’m the first one my family calls to do something, I have really no time to do things...and imagine my life since COVID-19 hit...(in March 2020 was when lock downs started happening where I live)

6. So I’m basically just a 19 yr girl trying to find and make some friends online who have common interests with me to talk to and give ideas to....but they end up coming out wrong and people take it the wrong way and sometimes instantly block me before I could apologize due to my issues

7. due to my issues what I think doesn’t come out of my mouth or text right then, I hit send before it registered I miss worded or my phone’s auto correct fixed it wrong of what I said

8. This goes for those I follow or follow me (and have messaged me) I actually worry when you guys don’t post especially during these times... as it a way I can see your doing well/ok despite COVID-19 or anything that is happening on your end

9. I will Admit I’m horrible at asking requests for art and etc. nicely...once again it’s due to my issues, and well I hope I can fix that...so I’m sorry to anyone I upset or felt like a bother when asking for art requests (especially when you have commissions)

10. I’m 19 yes but I have no job (due to my issues I would get fired instantly...), and the only money I get is from selling my cow’s boy calf’s from the family farm, and babysitting (which I can’t do due to COVID-19) to ask for commissions, heck my parents don’t even like online shopping, but if I ask for a request plz explain why in a slow manner (do to my brain can’t process things without seeing why) you need the money from the commissions...I actually feel helpless unable to help people with commissions for things example: like collage or certain classes in college (I wanna go for animation/design), or a laptop. Just say no and tell me why I’ll then leave you be but still cheer you on for whatever your doing and like your art (which I can’t do if I get blocked due to a stupid thing I said or did...)

11. I hate myself whenever something goes wrong example: I get blocked...After I didn’t realize I did something wrong. Or I get called things behide my back (which happens a lot).

12. ALSO! to those who claim I guilt trip when I go ‘.....’ I don’t know what to say! I’m not acting sad or anything it’s because I know know the right words to say

13. I’m actually developing anxiety (which honestly I shouldn’t be but I have social anxiety in RL or online (unless that person has the same interests as me)) whenever I commented on someone’s art (where it’s Disney or Casper, and many more of my interests) because I feel like I might accidentally hit a nerve or upset the artist, even just asks I’m worried on doing

That’s all I just wanted to let people know, so if people/artist claim I’m just an annoyance, or immature or anything like that that, I have abit of a reason for it...

But look at me like this: I’m person/artist that love your art and just offering comments or ideas trying to see if you wish to be friends, even if I bring in my headcons and ships I’m curious on how you would think of them. And if I’m upsetting you I’m abit of a understanding girl, and if I’m explained abit of whatever it is a ask or comment of mine. if we talk it out about it with no hostility or threats of blocking as I never block (unless your a porn bot).

Like I said before I’m a slow girl so talking to me and downgrading me from something I did to upset you like:

Calling me an annoyance due to one of my comments about mentioning one of my ships when it has really nothing to do with the character

That actually upsets me even when I try to apologize for it and when I apologize I ACTUALLY mean it and it won’t happen again.

This isn’t A vent thing it’s just a thing to let people know I have issues with interacting with people online, I’m not mad or anything as I do the ‘forgive and forget’ thing (also I tend to forget about things randomly) I don’t really hold grudges

So if I make a weird ask or something just look at this plz it’s due to my many..MANY issues that I have had since school till now with COVID-19

#I have issues...#my life #plz help....

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years ago

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Oh Disneyland Paris sounds fun yeah! Were you and your roommate already close then? I went to Walt Disney's world with my aunt and cousin when I was like 11 but it would've been way more fun if I could've taken my best friend with me for sure. Maybe we can go to the one in Paris now that she lives just 3h away from me! Oh I see, sounds like LA was really fun for you yeah! your roommate didn't mind third wheeling tho? Hahaha

Yeah Canada is beautiful but what I liked about it the most was the massive improvement in quality of life I had compared to where I was living before and just being able to be who I am and people accepting me for it. Not being worried about violence 24/7 felt pretty fucking great too. So yeah I highly recommend living there if you ever get a chance. But I am loving Portugal so far, people are a bit more judgemental here tho but I like that it's easier to travel to a lot of countries I've always wanted to go to. Everywhere you go there are pros and cons tho so sorting out priorities is key. But Toronto is my favourite of all the places I've been, before living there for a year I had already been two times!

Jesus 50 states, sometimes I forget how big the US is. And you can totally do it if you plan it out! After watching Bly Manor tho I really want to go to Vermont especially during autumn season looks really pretty! There's this fic I love (only the sun by prestonarchives) where Dani and Jamie go on a road trip from Vermont to Maine and I did their entire journey on Google maps street view bc I was so obsessed with this one chapter fanfic I had to immerse myself entirety in it hahaha. So now I want to go there irl. Here's the link if you haven't read it before!

https://bit.ly/3BLy4WR

Omg I totally remember reading that on CBML and being a bit confused bc I was like why would she think you can't see the moon from the great wall of China HAHAHA but I thought it was really funny and endearing yeah it's even funnier now that I know you said it irl haha.

Oh so ENFP-T means extraverted, intuitive, feeling and prospecting personality with a bit of turbulence. Which just means you're curious, perceptive, enthusiastic, an excellent communicator, festive and good-natured. On the other hand you can be disorganized, unfucosed, a people pleaser, overcommitted, too optimistic and restless.

I wonder what Jamies and Danis mbti are as well as their zodiac signs 🤔 I think Jamie might be an ISTP-A bc she's definitely an introvert, very practical, stubborn, assertive, layed back and energetic at the same time. And Dani is either an ENFP-T like you or an ESFJ-T with the whole selfless thing going on.

AE already made it canon that Jamie's an aries (and it makes sense) but I can't figure Dani out. I've thought about her being a leo ♌ bc she's generous, passionate, warm-harted and dominant in her own way and THE HAIR haha. But she's got some pisces ♓ vibes going on too...idk. aaand I'm back at it again with the astrology signs haha.

To be fair your recent drunken exp it was dark and at least you didn't think the road sign was a bear or something (don't know what kind of wild animals you've got over there) that you wrestled with and ended up in a ditch and your best friend let you believe that happened for 3 years up until recently haha. 😂 but yeah some things happen for a reason, having life threatening health issues doesn't sound great tho, but I guess it's a good thing it stops you from drinking too much and making dumb decisions. And hey maybe I secretly want that to happen again idk maybe moving countries is not exciting enough, I have to go out and make a complete drunken fool out of myself in a completely foreign place hahaha. I guess that did kinda happen last month when my best friend came to visit me from Spain and we got drunk on wine, I got lost on the way back home and it was way past curfew. 🤔 shit I'm 29 will I ever learn...

Episode 9 is 😢😍🥰😰😭🤬☠️ just the worst roller-coaster I didn't even know I was on. Haha I was more pissed off than heartbroken the first time I watched it ngl.

Well then maybe the way you do accents is friendly and funny so people can't really get mad at you haha. Like Dani! Oh so that's called a Geordie accent! I see, it's really really cool. AE said Jamie is from Lancashire but that's a whole county isn't it? Idk if there's a specific accent to this region. Knowing you speak kinda like Jamie is something else tho, I think if anyone who spoke like her ever talked to me irl I wouldn't be able to pay attention to what they were saying 😂 just the accent haha.

Oh so you already have 4k something words for it nice. I'm kinda starting to feel an obsession with this medieval AU growing in me, I made a Pinterest board just for it ngl hahaha but I'm still resisting creating anything for it, I did a face study yesterday for Dani and Jamie to see if I finally pick up the idea and just do it but my brain was still like "I don't want to do this rn" and was just being a little bitch about it so I'll just let it cook for longer see if we can reach an agreement eventually (if ever) haha.

Glad to hear you had a good weekend! Even if it left you feeling exhausted in the end. And yeah it makes sense for you to say you don't have favourites haha! Have a great week Colour, take care! 👋✨

Yeah me and my roommate have been friends since we were like 14 so when we went to Disney Land we asked if we could be roomed together because we've been best friends for that long now... been best friends since school and now we live together. She's seen me at my best, my worst, has seen me in all my stages in life and has been there for a lot of the rough stuff I've been through and I've been there for all the stuff she's been through!! Nah she didn't mind at all we had some moments where me and my ex would just go and be a couple and have dates but my ex didn't want me travelling that far alone so invited my roommate too because she didn't like the thought of me flying 11hours alone or being in airports alone so my roommate came with me and we had a great time Awwh good I'm glad it was such a nice place and that you didn't worry about violence all the time but I'm so sorry you ever had to worry about that anyway that can't be easy. I would honestly love to live in Canada I really hope I get chance one day... I'm glad you're loving Portugal but sorry people are judgemental there but I am glad it's easy for you to travel around to other places... oh yeah every place has it's pros and cons I mean England has some pros but it sure has a lot of cons too so I know all about that Yeah America is SO big but I do want to get around all 50 states at some point and I am stubborn enough and determined enough to make it happen eventually even if I don't get around them all until I'm like 70 I'll make it happen haha!! No I haven't read that fic but it sounds amazing so I'll definitely check it out thank you for sending me the link Yeah... that really happened to me and it was just a dumb moment where I had this momentary lapse of knowledge in my brain and now I look back at that question and I'm just like... "you idiot" and this is why people are shocked when I get questions in quizzes right because I have said some really dumb stuff but I'm glad people found it funny and endearing... and I'm glad it makes it better to know I really said that haha Oooo I didn't know that, I like that and I think it's definitely fitting for me!! I think from what you've said about what ENFP-T means Dani could easily be that too and I don't know anything about the other one but I will take your word for it matching Dani because you know way more about this stuff than I do. I have no idea for Jamie though. And with zodiac signs I love that Amelia looked at Jamie and thought she was an Aries, as for Dani I have NO idea what her zodiac would be... in CBML she's a Leo but in MoU with what I have planned for her birthday she'd be a virgo but I don't know anything about zodiacs... all I know is all the pieces I've ever met have been the opposite of what Dani is so maybe that has something to do with their whole charts but I know a lot of other people always make her a Pieces and I trust what other people say about zodiacs more than what I know about them because I really know NOTHING about them haha Nah I knew it was a road sign because of how heavy and hard it was- nah we have no bears where I live... I don't think we have many dangerous animals where I live... got a couple of badgers that can be pretty aggressive but that's about it we don't have much that is scary here or at least not in the little part of England I live. Having life threatening health issues has been hard and since having my spleen removed in January (that was the surgery I needed to try and fix the issue I had) things are even harder now because I have to take antibiotics for the rest of my life to stop me getting any infections because if I ever get a chest infection now or a really bad cold it can be really dangerous but I take it all in my stride and not drinking is just a way to make sure the antibiotics actually work properly and to make sure nothing happens to me... and like you said, means I don't do anything dumb too... haha drunken stories are the best I have been lost a few times when I've been drunk... and I don't think you do learn, I have siblings that are

like 40 and still do dumb shit... I know at 27 I am still doing dumb shit too I don't think I'll ever learn haha 😂 Its such an emotional roller coaster and honestly I was just devastated the first time I watched it... no TV show or movie has ever made me cry the way Bly Manor did when I first saw it and it still makes me cry now. I can cry just thinking about that last episode. I definitely mean it in a friendly way so I hope it comes across like that. Yeah the accent in Billy Elliot is a Geordie accent and its my favourite accent there are other accents around the north that are called different things. Yeah Lancashire is a county and again in Lancashire there are loads of different accents I can't really pinpoint Jamie's down to a city I just know it's Northern. I'm from Yorkshire but don't have a strong Yorkshire accent I just have a Northern accent, like people never believe I'm from the place I'm from because I don't sound like I am but you can definitely tell I'm northern... honestly there are so many accents in England... you can drive for two hours in any direction in England and the accent will change like two times at least it's insane... see a lot of people say that but I am not a HUGE fan of the northern accent and I think it's because I grew up there. I much prefer Dani's accent to Jamie's but like I said to me, Jamie just talks normal there is no accent really haha Yeah 4k words for it but it's all jumbled up it's not like a chronological story yet it's just all over the place haha but I hope I can get it all structured properly soon!! Awwh good I'm glad you're already interested in this medieval AU!! That makes sense you're resisting creating for it but I think it's so cool you did a face study for Dani and Jamie even if you didn't wanna finish it I think letting things cook for a while is always a good idea if you're not in the right headspace right away I had such a good weekend but I am so tired and today I had a busy day too celebrating my roommate's boyfriend's birthday so I've had so many days that have been so busy and right now I am just really to sleep haha!! Yeah definitely don't have favourites but I have spent more time with one of my nieces than the others simply because I always look after her if her mum and dad are working and I'm not... like until I start this new job I am looking after her for an hour every day after school while she waits for her mum and dad to finish work but I don't have favourites haha!! Thank you so much I hope you had a great weekend and that you have a great week too!!

#lib3rtin33

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Come Home to My Heart, Chapter 6 (Lemyanka) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 ✨| previous chapters

A/N: this is rated “B” for Bickering. It’s getting gay(er) I promise. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading it! <3

-6-

Priyanka’s bad mood lasted some more time after Lemon left. She shushed her friends when they tried to bring up the issue again and ate her waffles in silence until the girls started cracking jokes to make her laugh.

She was glad when the conversation focused on Denali as she explained to the other girls how her skating programs worked and told them all about the training and the traveling she had done during the year. It was compelling enough to lift the spirits on the table and once they were done with their food and the coffee refills, they all parted ways.

Priyanka drove Denali back to the house of her friend where she was staying for the month and got the chance to catch up with her a bit more. Inevitably, a question would pop at any moment.

“So…” The girl on the passenger seat began and Priyanka already knew what was coming. “this girl Lemon and you… what’s the story behind it?”

“Ugh…” Priyanka wanted to hit her head with the steering wheel. “It’s a long story.”

“I have time.” She said. “And you did mention a place that serves the best ice cream in town, don’t think I have forgotten.”

Priyanka sighed. “Nosy bitch…”

Denali cackled. “Oh, c’mon! I’m dying to know.”

“Fine. But you’re paying for my ice cream and I’ll make sure I order every topping, sprinkle, and syrup available.”

Priyanka turned left and changed their destination until they arrived at the ice cream parlor. Just as she had threatened, she ordered a monstrosity of ice cream for herself while Denali sat there with her cookies and cream sundae.

“Lemon and I were friends since kindergarten…” She started.

She told Denali everything, the first time they shared cookies, their days of primary school, the day Lemon left for New York, and the aftermaths of that moving. She told her the exact moment her crush began and when she knew it was way more than just a temporary thing. She told her about the big fight when Lemon visited her and how she had ignored her for the next five months until the blonde stopped trying whilst Priyanka thought she was doing the right thing. She told her about the moment she knew things were never going back to normal with them.

“Wait… wait, stop right there. So you two argued about something so stupid and then boom that’s it?”

“When you put it like that…”

“Because you know it is something stupid two fifteen-year-old girls would argue over, right?”

“First of all, it was a big deal back in the day.”

“Pri you were jealous of another girl and the remote possibility of your plans not being fulfilled. Plans you made when you were ten.”

“It wasn’t only about the plans we made… I could feel the distance between us and the way she was moving out without me in the future… it scared me.”

“Then why you never told her that?”

“Because… I’d have to admit my crush and end up with my heart broken twice by the same person.”

“Or… maybe give her the chance to decide that?”

Priyanka glared at her. “Denali, what are you implying?”

“I’m just saying that you were mad at her for not letting you being her friend and yet you weren’t giving her the chance to know your feelings, neither of you were being completely honest with each other… does that make sense?”

Priyanka took a big spoon of her ice cream and put it on her mouth to avoid answering.

“What I’m saying is that… this is your chance to make things right with her… maybe even the start of something new?”

“This isn’t a Disney Channel movie, you’re aware of that, right?”

“Priyanka, don’t you see? What are the odds of something like this happening? After seven years…”

“If you’re trying to make it look like a «this is fate» kind of situation, quit right now. It’s not going to work.” She crossed her arms on her chest. “Anyway…”

“You’re such a stubborn head sometimes I swear to God…”

“But you love me for that, don’t you?”

“I question myself sometimes.”

Priyanka threw a napkin playfully at her.

“After seven long years… things might have changed for you two.” She had a mischievous look on her face.

“What are you suggesting?”

“Listen, tomorrow’s Friday night, I’m sure the New Yorker in her is going to be out enjoying the nightlife… maybe you should do the same… Show her what she’s missed all this time.”

“It’s a stupid idea.”

No, that wasn’t going to work, it was ridiculous.

“I still think it’s a stupid idea.” Priyanka complained while sitting in the backseat of the taxi.

“Kiara and Juice are meeting us there.” Scarlett confirmed, ignoring what her friend had just said.

Denali put her thumbs air and smiled at Priyanka.

She had complained, protested, and kicked like a toddler but once their friends heard Denali’s labeled as a «genius idea», there was no way back. They had kidnapped her along with a bunch of her clothes and dragged her to Scarlett’s house to get ready.

Hence, she had no choice but to go along with their plan and she might as well put a little effort on since the goal was to get noticed by the devil in disguise herself.

She deliberately chose a pair of tight black shorts that barely covered her ass, a gold sequin top with thin strips that began on the front and finished tied on her back, and a pair of long black velvet boots that prolonged her legs by miles. Denali and Scarlett had her twirling around in her outfit just to throw cheesy compliments at her and whistled as old wolves in cartoons did.

Once her hair was tied in a high ponytail, she did her makeup while chattering with her friends.

What if she doesn’t show up?

She’s going to, we’ve some inside info.

Still, why do I have to go? I don’t wanna see her.

Bullshit, of course you do.

Besides, it’s about her seeing you.

“I can’t do this.” She whispered in front of the mirror.

“Your eyeliner or going to the nightclub?” Scarlett asked before applying red lipstick on her lips.

“The nightclub…”

“Priyanka, you’re a grown-up woman who’s going out on a Friday night. If Lemon happens to be there then wave at her and take a shot after it.” Her friend scolded. “Listen, I love you but it’s clear that if she has the power to make you feel this way it’s because there’s something underneath neither of you have solved. I say that you get over that fear and move on with your life.”

“No, you’re right…”

“The Priyanka I know would pick up girls in clubs with ease because she’s confident and that’s hot.”

“I’m so telling Juice you think I’m hot.”

Denali chuckled while putting mascara on.

“My point being that… I don’t know what’s about that Polly Pocket bitch that turns your already soft oatmeal brain into a liquid state but get a grip.”

Priyanka laughed at loud. “Okay, okay… you don’t have to drag me like that. We’re going to have fun tonight, I promise.”

They got to the club five minutes after; it was a chilly night –one of those that might require a jacket they hadn’t brought- but nothing that a good shot of alcohol couldn’t fix within a few minutes.

Music was blasting from the speakers; there were circles of people dancing on the floor already, the unmistakable frenetic energy buzzed in the air and made every touch, every brush charged with electricity.

Kiara and Juice found them in the crowd; they were carrying a couple of vodka shots and shared them with the newly arrived.

Lemon was already inside the club, Priyanka spotted her sitting on the bar stirring something that looked like a pink vodka lemonade.

She was wearing a white strapless tube dress with a sheer shirt with fur on the tips of the sleeves on top of it along with a pair of pearly ankle strap shoes. Her hair was curlier than the other day so she had probably styled like that with an iron.

Next to her, Kyne enjoyed a bottle of beer and Priyanka suddenly understood where the piece of inside information had come from. Kiara, you slut…

Priyanka drank the shot in one gulp and let the alcohol burn her throat. It was the good type of burn, a little spark to ignite the fire in her veins.

“I’ll go get the next round.” Priyanka announced.

“I’ll help you.” Denali followed her.

Priyanka dodged some drunkards that offered to buy her drinks and walked directly toward the bar making sure she casually appeared next to Lemon. She rested her elbows on the bar and moved her ponytail to display the intricate knots on her almost naked back.

Lemon stared for a moment and then sighed. “You gotta be kidding me.”

“Ignore me, I’m just getting some drinks for me and my friends.”

“I already do that.”

“Well, you’re not very good at it.” She looked at Kyne. “Hey there… Kiara said she’ll buy you another beer once you’re done with that one. You should go dance with her later.”

“Ah… alright…” The girl blushed and took a sip of her beer.

“Remember Denali?” She pointed at the dark-haired girl next to her.

“Yes… I had the pleasure to meet her the other day… unlike others.” She drank what was left of her drink.

Priyanka called the bartender and ordered the round of shots, shortly after five full glasses were in front of them.

“Which one is yours?” Lemon asked.

Priyanka frowned. “This one on my hand, obviously.”

“Good.” Without giving her time to protest, Lemon snatched the drink from her hand and took it herself without flinching, and put it back on her hand as if nothing had happened.

“Hey!”

“You’re welcome.” She said.

“For what?” Priyanka was still dumbfounded.

“I don’t let many people buy me drinks.” She smirked again.

The brunette’s lips turned into a grimace; there wasn’t anything in the world that she wanted more than erasing that little cocky expression off her face.

“Let’s go, Kyne, let’s find the others. I wanna dance.” She smiled at Denali overlooking Priyanka. “See you around.”

Priyanka shook her head. “I can’t believe it… I can’t… did you see that?”

“Pri… this is great.” Denali seemed to be amused by the exchange.

“What?”

“Don’t you see? She was provoking you.”

“Yeah, by inciting violence.” She waved back to the bartender.

“To get a reaction from you… It’s like a game, now is your turn to move.”

“You’re crazy. She did it just to bug me and she succeeded.”

“And now you can’t stop talking about it… my point exactly.”

She shook her head. “No, Lemon’s not like that… she wouldn’t.”

“Maybe the Lemon you knew before but this Lemon is different… a bit bitchy and that’s a good thing.”

“Oh, no, that’s not new. She’s always been a bitch, trust me.”

Denali laughed, they grabbed their drinks and went back where the other girls were.

They made it just in time to dance to I Love It by Icona Pop and sing the chorus from the top of their lungs. After the second shot, Priyanka could finally loosen up, just go with the music and the environment to let herself enjoy the night.

They danced non-stop for a good thirty minutes until Priyanka went to the bar again. Kiara gave her money to get her a vodka tonic and she ordered a fireball for herself. She sat for a moment on one of the stools to catch her breath while she waited to be served.

It was when her eyes found her.

Lemon had taken off the semi-transparent shirt and now she only had that small dress embracing her body as she danced, and God, the way she danced… She didn’t miss a single beat, her body reacted to the music in a way Priyanka had never seen before, it was calculated yet sensual, it was methodic yet loose, in other words, it was hypnotic.

Priyanka was so mesmerized at the moment she almost had no time to play it cool when Lemon walked toward the bar once again. Now her body glowed with a thin layer of sweat and her hair wasn’t as neat as the beginning of the night, Priyanka liked it better that way.

“Thank you.” She talked to the bartender disregarding the blonde next to her.

Lemon stole her drink once again and took a sip of it but this time she cleared her throat loudly, grimacing in disgust at the taste of the flavored whiskey.

“Ew, cinnamon.”

Priyanka mocked her right away. “This is going to teach you something.”

“Yeah, it just taught me how tasteless you are… that’s disgusting.”

Priyanka drank it and let an “ah” out. “Delicious.”

“What’s that?” She pointed at Kiara’s drink.

“Vodka tonic but it’s for Kiara.”

“She’s not going to need it… her tongue is somewhere Kyne’s throat right now,” Lemon said as she extended her hand and took the glass of the countertop. She rinsed the flavor of the fireball with some more alcohol. “Is that a thing? Like a recurrent thing? Them I mean.”

“Sorta but Kyne didn’t acknowledge it until like last year so I’d say it’s still very recent.”

At that moment a guy tried to approach them with the intention of buying them a drink.

“Eat dirt and get lost.” Lemon hissed making the guy disappear from he came from.

“Wow, that was kind of aggressive…” Priyanka said but she sniggered anyway.

“I told you I don’t let anyone buy me drinks plus I don’t like men that try to win women over with drinks. I don’t need their coins, I can buy my own drinks.”

“I’m quite sure you haven’t bought any of the drinks you had tonight, am I wrong?”

“I could buy them if I wanted to…”

“Could you?”

“Yes.”

“Bartender,” Priyanka drew attention from the person behind the bar. “two shots of tequila over here.”

Lemon glared at her. “I said if I wanted to… and I’m certainly not buying you a drink.”

“Fine, I’ll take both shots myself.” Priyanka grabbed both glasses with one hand.

“Wait! Fine…” She pulled a bill from her cleavage and put it on the countertop. “Happy?”

“Classy.” Priyanka grinned.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was because it was Friday night but Priyanka was having fun there with Lemon and it had been an eternity since the last time they hung out like that.

The blonde rolled her eyes and then right before Priyanka’s eyes licked a stripe on the side of her palm, added salt, and licked it again before drinking the shot in the blink of an eye. Finally, she sucked the lime and threw it on the plate in front of them.

Priyanka gulped.

Lemon stared at her. “Well? You were the one who wanted to drink tequila.”

Priyanka repeated the process but she knew for sure she wasn’t putting on a show as Lemon did.

“That girl… Denali…” Lemon tested the waters at the mention of her name. “is she… close to you?”

“I adore her, yeah.”

“Is she… your girlfriend?”

Priyanka looked at the dance floor where Denali was still dancing and having fun with her other friends and then back at Lemon.

“Why?”

“I don’t know… I saw you two together earlier… I just assumed…”

“Would you care?”

Lemon shrunk on her seat. “Why would I?”

“You asked me about it.”

“I was trying to make small talk… plus you haven’t answered my question.”

“You haven’t answered mine.”

The blonde seemed to be cornered for a moment but she looked at Priyanka in the eye with the combative spirit she had always had in her.

“You didn’t answer my calls for five months back in the day, cute, isn’t it?” There was anger and some poison on her words and it hit the brunette right away.

Lemon went back with her friends without saying anything else.

Priyanka watched her until Scarlett dragged her back to the dance floor.

After several hours of dancing and drinking, Priyanka was drunk and exhausted in the best possible way. She was outside the club sharing a cigarette with Scarlett -it was kind of cold but she was completely unbothered by the weather- when a very sleepy Juice showed up, Scarlett went home with her and Priyanka didn’t even try to say something. Let them be happy or whatever.

Denali had left an hour ago, tired as hell too, and Kiara was probably going home with Kyne so she might as well get a taxi for herself as soon as the cigarette on her hand died.

Lemon walked out of the club just when her friends had closed the taxi door and left Priyanka alone. The blonde was carrying her shirt over her shoulder like a jacket and looked at Priyanka as soon as she spotted her in the corner.

She walked straight but there was something on her face that told Priyanka she hadn’t sobered up yet.

“There you are.” She dragged her words comically.

Priyanka shrugged. “Here I am.”

Lemon was about to say something but then she squinted. “Why are you so tall?”

“Because I ate my vegetables when I was little.”

“Liar, you threw them on the trash can when the teacher wasn’t looking at you.”

The brunette laughed. “I had forgotten about that. I got into so much trouble when they discovered it.”

“Trouble? Are you talking about trouble? What would your mother say if she caught you smoking?” She accused.

“Bite me.” Priyanka started laughing. “Did you come here to fight?”

“Yeah… but then I remembered you’re too tall.”

This cracked Priyanka even more; she was almost bent in half.

“What is it so funny?”

“I just remembered that Scarlett called you Polly Pocket earlier and now I can’t unsee it.”

“Fuck you and fuck her too…” She said. “Who are you calling Polly Pocket? I’m a whole ass Bratz or I will be when I can afford the botox injections.” She pouted.

“You sure will, doll.”

“Why are you here alone anyway?” She hiccupped. “Why isn’t your girlfriend with you?” Lemon leaned against a lamppost.

“All of my girl-friends left earlier.”

“You know whom I mean…”

Priyanka shook her head. It was too absurd for her.

A taxi turned around the corner and the brunette waved at it.

“Okay, Little Miss Sunshine, time to go home.” Priyanka tapped the vehicle’s roof.

“I get it… okay…” She got into the cab. “good night… Sprinky.”

“Good night, Lemon.” She closed the door and watched the car leaving.

She could take the next one.

#rpdr fanfiction #drcan #can1 #lemon #priyanka #lemon x priyanka #childhood friends #friends to lovers #lesbian au #come home to my heart #plastiquedoll #concrit welcome

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 years ago

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What I thought about every episode of The Owl House Season 1 (Part 2/2)

Part two, sukers! Let’s do this. Click here to read part one.

“Senses and Insensitivity”: The B-plot in this episode is outstanding. It shows the audience more about Eda and Lilith's love for each other as sisters, which actually gets a lot more heartbreaking, given what happens in "Agony of a Witch." I loved every minute of it...which is why it makes it weird that it's just the B-plot. Because while the main story is ok, I could do without it. It makes King look like a jerk, and in no way does it feel like he means it when he apologizes. Plus, the fact that Luz and King get saved by Dana's self-insert and don't even do anything to stop Piniet just doesn't sit right with me. Although, I do find the jokes about fandom mentality to be pretty funny. If it wasn't for Eda's storyline with Lilith, "Senses and Insensitivity" might just be a C+ of an episode. As is, I'll be kind enough to give it a B-.

“Adventures in the Elements'': And here it is. The episode that everyone saw months beforehand because some jackhole decided to leak it to the internet. And what an episode it is. We get some great mentor/motherly moments from Eda. Some perfect course correction from Ed and Em going from unlikable antagonists to decent supporting characters. Having Luz learn a second spell, and having the growth between her and Amity's relationship. And a semi-enjoyable B-plot with King and an army of stuffed animals (which is just as funny as it sounds). My problem? Pacing. While King's subplot about an army of stuffed animals is fun, I feel like more time should have been dedicated to Luz getting trained by Eda. That way, it’ll feel natural to see as Luz reaches her breaking point due to going nowhere with Eda's training, which would feel justified rather than making Luz come across as kind of whiney in the episode (at least to me, she does). Another issue I have is with how Luz and Amity's relationship is presented in this episode. It genuinely feels like we skipped an episode because Amity went from "thinking about it" to getting distracted by waving at her bestie. Now keep in mind, I'm the first one to say "who cares" when people bring up the poor pacing in Luz and Amity's relationship due to Disney having little to nothing in terms of LGBTQ+ representation in children's animation. But the thing is, their relationship feels more properly paced in future episodes, but it's not the case here. So it's gonna have to be another B- in that regard.

(And seriously, don't ever leak episodes from a show, even if it's your favorite. Because not only does it ruin the experience for fans who want to support it the right way, but it also hurts the show itself. Because if people stop watching episodes, guess what? They'll stop making them. And nobody wants that.)

“The First Day”: Is it odd that I like an episode that's clearly not great? Because there's so much about "The First Day" that I enjoy. I like the entirety of the detention track and the fact that they're not typical troublemakers. I like the message about how it's unfair to force children to learn something they're not interested in because it's for a "better education." And I would frickin' take a bullet for Puddles. Unfortunately, this episode has some of the worst pacing in the series. Let's look at what this episode has to accomplish: It has to force Luz into a track and explain why it's a poor fit for her. It has to have Luz be interested in another track and get in trouble due to being too curious. It has to establish a connection between Luz and the detention track so they can have a heartbreaking third-act breakup. It has to set up, then introduce, a monster that will try to destroy Hexide. And finally, defeating the creature has to tie into why it's a good idea for students to mix tracks. That is a lot to do in under twenty-two minutes, and it makes the episode feels like it’s on fast foward at times. I'd say the solution would be to cut King's substitute teacher subplot (which only has value with one good joke), but that would only give "The First Day" a couple of extra seconds. So, really, the only way to "fix" the episode is to probably give it a few minutes by making it a forty-five-minute special. I'm sure fans wouldn't mind that. They love Luz and her journey enough that I'm sure they would be more than ok to see a more lengthy experience through the halls of Hexide. But that's not what we got, so it's gonna have to be a D+ episode. I don't hate it, but I don't blame others who do.

“Really Small Problems”: "Ugh, it's the cliche--" WE'VE! BEEN! OVER THIS! Does this episode have a cliche storyline? Yes. Is this pretty much the first filler episode of the series? Of course. But is it still entertaining? Without a doubt. There are great jokes, adorable moments with Luz and King's friendship, and little moments that I love. Like the fact that it was an accident that King shrunk Willow and Gus, and how Luz treated the situation calmly and rationally instead of blowing her stack. "Really Small Problems" may not be high up on my favorites list, but it's at least a fun B episode that was well worth a single viewing.

“Understanding Willow”: You wanna know what impresses me the most about The Owl House? The fact that Dana and her writers knew what the fans exactly want before they even started asking for it. The fans wanted to know what happened between Willow and Amity, and so the staff showed us. Fans wanted to see what Mr. and Mrs. Blight are really like, and the staff showed us. Fans wanted a Luz and Amity centric adventure, and the staff gave it to us. And because they've been working on the first season long before fan input started coming out, that means that we were going to get what we want before even having to ask. Most shows would save content in "Understanding Willow" for a second and even third season, so it amazes me that the writers waste no time in giving us the good stuff. Add that with a great "I'm sorry" speech from Amity, cute moments between her and Luz, Luz being an understanding friend, and Eda's bell dance, and you've got yourself an A+ of an episode.

As I said, I've already reviewed the last four episodes. But if you're interested in what I have to say, here are the condensed versions of my thoughts. Click the episode titles if you want to see the full review:

“Enchanted Grom Fright”: Speaking of giving the fans what they want, the fans have been obsessed over Lumity damn near since the beginning, myself included. So now you're gonna give us a prom episode filled with flirting in the hallway, a dope dance sequence, and the reveal that Amity has a crush on Luz? All while showing more of Luz's relationship with her mother and the fear Luz has of telling Camila the truth?! Then consider this an A+ episode that might just be a crucial moment in Disney's history!

“Wing it Like Witches”: This is a fantastic episode. And no, it's not because of Amity's gay panic attacks towards Luz...ok, it's partially because of that. But it's also because this episode shows how far characters come developmental wise. Willow became more confident, and Amity is actually part of the group now. It all comes together when the most developed characters team up against one who'll most likely get little development. It's a solid A of an episode that always leaves me smiling when I watch it.

“Agony of a Witch”: Yup. The single image of Luz crying is still enough to tear me up inside. And man, what an episode. The tension, the drama, the REVEAL! Lilith admitting she cursed Eda still shocks me because it could not have been farther from what I expected. Especially given the sisterly bond that we've seen in past episodes. So yeah, this is another A+ for sure.

“Young Blood, Old Souls”: I've heard some people say that the season finale is underwhelming, and I think I know why? You see, this has what I like to call Infinity War to Endgame syndrome. Part one does a great job of setting up the tension and stakes, that part two seems to pale in comparison in an attempt to relieve some of that tension. Because since part one ended, people have been hyping themselves up for part two to be such an epic conclusion that it couldn't have completely lived up to the ridiculously high standards. It's the same reason why I never felt disappointed with either Avengers: Endgame or "Young Blood, Old Souls." I had high expectations, sure, but I also reminded myself that there is a chance that either might be unenjoyable. And guess what? I consider Avengers: Endgame an A+ movie and "Young Blood, Old Souls" an A+ episode. Is either story perfect? No, but here's the thing. I could list all the nitpicks I have, or I could keep my big mouth shut and just enjoy it for the parts that are perfect.

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And that's it! That's what I think about every single episode of The Owl House so far. As for my thoughts on the show itself, I think it's incredible. It has a nice balance of comedy and drama with specific episodes, has an intriguing story, and includes some of the best representation that Disney has had in decades. But that doesn't mean the show is perfect. Pacing can be a bit off at times, some B-plots are just unnecessary to pad out the time, and not every joke can land. But to be fair, this is season one. Dana Terrace and her crew have more than enough time to polish out the rough parts for what is hoped to be a better season two. And I still can’t to see what they have in store for us.

#the owl house #the owl house review #what i thought about

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slashingdisneypasta · 5 years ago

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OKAY. EVERYBODY STAY CALM ITS HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY F*CKING CALM. MAY I REQUEST OFFENDER WITH AN S/O THAT JUST WANTS TO BE A PRINCESS? LIKE, LOVES FRILLY DRESSES AND WEARS A TIARA AT HOME AND HAS THAT BUBBLY, SWEET, DO NO HARM DOGOODER DISNEY PRINCESS ATTITUDE? LOOOOVE YOUR BLOG THANKS

Haha, omg XD YOU SURE CAN. And thank you!! I hope this is okay!!!

~~~

I’m but 3 pages into the new -beautiful, green, hardcover, perfect sized, - book that just came in the mail for me that I… may have… hugged the postie over, when Offender gets home. He sometimes uses the door, but mostly he just teleports in, which can, yes, sometimes be an issue when I’m changing or watching a show without him, but I understand that it’s just easier and more logical for him this way rather then teleporting from his original spot to the front door, then unlocking the door and coming in so its okay! I look up immediately from my book, a smile tugging across my lips on its own accord. “Missed you! I made a pie earlier for kicks, so if you want, I can go cut you a piece! How was your night?”

He doesn’t really respond, just sits down with a grunt on the couch beside me. I hope he doesn’t have any questionable liquids on him, because that will be tricky to get out of my throw cushions… I watch, with concern welling inside me as he picks up a pillow - pink and silk, perfect for aesthetic pictures. He got me that one! – and holds it hard over his face, groaning again. Frowning, I close my book and put it carefully on the coffee table in favour of moving to my knees beside him. “… what happened?” I ask, picking his empty hand up into mine, gently.

“Ahh, its just one of those nights, princess.” Oh, I love it when he calls me that. But, I’m really worried about him right now. Its rare for Offender to be in a bad mood, and its my job to make him better. “Not too hot… “

“Well, tomorrow will be better.” I assure him, then open my mouth to say something else, before again remembering the pie and gasping, before pouncing off the couch and sliding into the kitchen, my dress not hindering my movements at all – I’ve gotten used to it. I can run in heels, too! Some of my most prized achievements. Quickly, I cut a generous piece and set it neatly on the plate, before adding a scoop of ice cream - he likes chocolate best,- and remembering to grab a beer before rushing back out, not wanting to leave him alone for too long, even if I’m only in the next room.

He hasn’t moved when I get back and put the beer on the coffee table by my book, and gently sit back down beside him, intricate fuchsia and bubble-gum fabric folding under me and gracefully flowing down over the couch and onto the floor, since there’s so much of it. Which is why I bought it in the first place- there’s so much skirt to fly when you twirl! Perfect for a ball, if I ever got to go to a real one.

“Mmm, yummy!” I lift the plate to his face, and waive it around a bit so he can smell, because I know him and I know he can’t so no to boysenberry. Not quite sure still how he smells, but… he does, so who cares! What works, works. A moment passes and he removes the pillow from his face, making me smile. “Yay!” I quip, and hold the plate to him and a fork. As he takes them and focuses on eating it, slowly, I ask if he wants to talk about it? He shakes his head and waives a dismissive hand.

“Nah, no. Tell me about your day.”

“Okay, but be free to cut me off at any point if you want to talk.” He nods at my firm look and I grin softly back, before counting off on my fingers what I’ve done, trying to remember everything. While I’m talking, he finishes the food and pulls me onto his lap but stays silent, listening. “Well, I learnt how to bake the pie- on that note, it got out of the oven about 15 minutes ago so it might still be hot, so warning, Don’t burn your tongue. There might be a teeny, tiny mess in the oven from my 3 failed attempts but, hah, let’s not focus on that part right now! I also watched some TV, of course. A lot of TV, and Dia and I,” My dog. “Nearly successfully achieved Project Human-Dog communication while we did tha-“

“You can’t talk to dogs,” I would get cross with him and flick his hat but since he was sad, and he just chuckled I give him a free pass, squinting at him playfully instead.

“Were you there??”

A deep, put-on sigh is his response as he drops his head back dramatically and pulls my body subconsciously closer to him. “No… “

Giggling, I hold a finger in front of where his eye should be to see if he follows it back to a comfortable position for his neck. He does, and that makes me giggle a little more. “No. And, then, the postman brought my book! And I was reading that when you got home.”

A sly grin slowly takes his mouth. “Did you do anything to the postman?”

“You put that suspiciously, but… yes. I hugged him.”

“You’re freaken adorable.”

“And embarrassing.” My cheeks bloom pink, and I cover my face with my hands.

“Pretty, and pink, and adorable princess.”

A delicate sigh escapes me, but he knows that’s my weakness. I’d love to be a princess and in a way I guess I am. Because I want to be.

He certainly isn't a prince, though, which is a fairytale twist that I kind of like. If this were a real fairytale world, not just my living room-although in some respects it is decked out my royally then some Disney sets because me, he would be the villain. With sharp teeth and a dark coat, and even darker intentions. Dragon, sorcerer, wolf.

A moment passes, and I calm down, absentmindedly fixing my hair and looking up at him, taking one of his hands back in mine again like before. I love holding his hand, its so big. “Are you cheered up?”

“Extremely. Night forgotten.”

“Oh, well I’d so glad! Was it the pi- Ah!” Suddenly, I feel the poking on my thigh and fling myself off him in a whirl of pink and floral and perfect hair and a high-pitched squeal. landing on my feet gracefully, I quickly I regain my calm as he laughs at me and my red face, and neaten my dress. “I have no dignified response for that!”

He just keeps laughing, the sound more rough and deep and satisfying then anything else, and I can’t help my embarrassment turning into a grin. At least he’s happy now!

I’m the princess who took the wolves hand, and I don’t regret it.

#Offenderman x Reader #Offenderman #Princess Reader

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Jake Reviews Amphibia: Handy Anne and Fort in the Road

It’s finally here... the second time i’ve said that in three days but hey, Amphibia is back! After a years hiatus due to the show being shoved out in a month to get it on disney plus faster (Yet they STILL don’t have wonder over yonder so I can finally watch season 2. God damn. ), one of the best new shows of a year stuffed with them is back! I was excited about this one from the start. A great premise, a gravity falls pedegriee, and the wonderful Brenda Song, who I had a crush on when I was younger despite not really watching the first suite life that much, though I will admit what I saw was pretty decent and had a wonderful cast especially song and Phil Morris as Mr.Mosby.. it was just overshadowed by i’ts two leads being really sterotypical (the cool but dumb hustler and the stick in the mud nerd) and I was more of a nick middle schooler anyway so I barely touched it. Granted if I could go back in time and trade which shows I watched i’d trade it for Zoey 101 in a heartbeat, another show with awful leads but the rest of the main cast was really good concidentally.

Anyways I did watch more of on deck to kill time and absolutley hated it. Seroiulsy the show really sucks: Zack and Cody were turned into basically worse versions of Zack Morris and Ross Gellar, worse because while their just as douchey as those two, Mark Paul Gossler and David Schiwmer can actually act and Cole Sprouse could not yet. I do say yet since Cole Sprouse has grown because he wasn’t half bad in the one season of riverdale I watched. Riverdale, what happens when you have the entire writers room snort a line of coke and then tell them to write the most insane archie fanfiction they can and stitch the results together. Just with Archie alone from what i’ve seen in read he’s started a vigilante posse ala homer simpson, nearly joined hte mafia, been framed form murder, had the local cheerleaders do a number for him while he played prison football, escaped prison to hide in canda from both his former mafia boss whose also his girlfriend’s dad and the cult based on a DnD knockoff, got mauled by a bear and LIVED, and now is a superhero apparently. WHy I haven’t gone back to at the very least review this clusterfuck is a mystery. But the point is the twins were really terrible at the time, and if the fact Dylan’s only major role recently is in the sequel to After, that film based on self insert one direction fanfiction, which somehow got a sequel while Birds of Prey probably won’t because god really does hate me. So it was bad and she deserved better, got better with the social network but hadn’t done much i’d seen, so a new cartoon starting her in her elment and in a great show for once had me pumped. And.. my faith paid off. The show is beautifully animated, ahs a wonderfully morbid and fully fleshed out world, top notch voice acting (including BIll Farmer who is so unreconizable as hop pop I thought he was voiced by charlie addler), great jokes, action and storytelling. Just a slam dunk that left be jonesning for me. And now in one of the best weeks for animation in a while, more is here. I do mean that: 3/4 of disney’s major animated shows returning and close enough finally airing it’s a good time. When we last left our heroes: Hop Pop buired the box that brought anne there and lied to her about it which even a year later I think is a terrible decision.. one made for understandable reasons as he clearly knows something more about it than she does, but one that’s bound ot backfire whens he finds out her new grandpa lied to her and betrayed her. The plantars also spent the season preparing to leave wartwood. Soon after, Anne was forced to finally stand up to her manipulative, if to my utter shock still caring about her and possibly being into her? I mean it’s not like I haven’t seen the “villian whose overcompensating for a terrible past and likes manipualting people redeemed and ending up smooching the somewhat reckless but good hearted heroine” before.

Anyways Sasha ends up nearly falling off a giant tower, Anne tries to save her, with the rest of her new family pitching in, and Sasha, realizing just how terrible she’s been just.. let’s her self fall, only saved because Grime caught her. And just remembering that sequence god dman.. the fact they actually got the rights to lean on me for it really dosen’t help. But the day was saved and while Anne had a huge bundle of trauma, the family was ready to finally set out soon. And now a year later i’ts time. Now i’ve gotten all the personal stuff out of the way, let’s hop to it and see what the new season has to offer. Full review with spoilers under the cut!

Handy Anne

So the Plantars are finally setting off. We don’t touch on the Sasha thing much, just a quick bit at the begining to show that while Anne is insiting she’s fine it really traumatized her. I do like kids shows starting to show more that sometimes heroes just DON’T bounce back after something like this, especially young ones. While it’ isn’t nearly to the extent of Steven Universe spending an entire season having his lack of thearpy and unresolved issues slowly destroy him, it’s still nice to see. But the main thrust of the episode is it’s vacation time brother!

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Yup after a few episodes of build up last season with the valley clear, Hop Pop has bought a suprisingly nice and affordable wagon (As Polly excitedly explains someone died in it) so they can finally set out to hopefully find Anne a way home. Their going to Oregon! I mean To newtopia, the beating heart of Amphibia: a bustling metroplis built on knowledge where they can hopefully find a way to get Anne and friends back home, while Anne hopes to find Marcy. The rest of the kids are also excited just to get out of the valley for the first time. Everyone’s pumped.. but Anne starts to worry when she finds out Hop Pop has asked his friend Chuck, the “I grow tulips” guy from the bug ball episode last season who I forgot about but was reminded why I love him and am glad to have him back, to watch the house as given Amphibia is hard enough to surivive on a good day, let alone if your a stationary building. And Chuck dosen’t insprie confidence so Anne decides to fortify the house. And her reasoning.. is actually really sweet and shows how much she’s grown: Instead of like most times where her impulsivness is the reason shenanigans and life thretaning situations happen here.. she’s hit with the hard relization her new family is basically risking everything, their home, their farm, their chuck, to help her get home.

So Anne decides to armor up the house, getting a fuck ton of shovels and a ton of suplies from the blacksmith guy who suprisngly for once DOES have what she needs for her veggies, to the point his not backtracking weirds anne out, and gives her a tub of goo. This can only end well! Meanwile the rest of the family pack. Polly having maybe 3 possesions gets done quick, Hop Pop is being anal reteitive as always with his ascots (hilariously done and Bill Farmer really is the MVP of this series), while Sprig’s gone half insane just picking out which slingshot to take as he never left, which polly of course exploits. But things natrually go wrong as the goo creates veggie monsters the family fights (with sprig even calling fight time because this is normal to them at this point) the next mornign and then one colosus that destroys the house... and Anne’s anger and heartbreak over it .. awakens something. See something I hadn’t heard about and didn’t notice at the ebgining of the series was anne’s eyes flashing blue while fighting the mantis in the first episode. Many couldn’t tell if it was leading somewhere or just an animation error. Here though her eyes go bright blue in close up with it being clear this is part of her.. the question what is it and why? Just what power does she have now? And will it save the world or destroy it? Questions for later Anne saves the day, an admits she screwed up but Hop Pop is understanding: He’s touched by her actions but also explains their not just doing this for her: their with her all the way and any sacrifice is worth it. And I like that part of hop pop: while he can be overbearing, just see next episode.. he does genuinely mean well and has genuine wisdom, something they sometimes forget with grandparent characters in animation. He’s crotchety and a stick in the mud, but he’s still throughly nice and understanding and it shows here: He’s going to get his daughter back whatever it takes.. almost. Hop Pop calls on chuck who in a whilrwind of tools and tulips fixes the place.. and proves to be every bit the legend I thought him. He sells tulips and he’s great. We’ll miss you chuck. But as they get ready to leave Anne brings up the box and Hop Pop, remembering what he did, hastily says it’s better with their contacts. WHich again just seems short sided: while he is trying to protect her, especially since next episode confirms there was some sort of apocalypse once so odds are her being connected to it might not be the best, he can’t dance around her connection to it forever, and hiding the fact some apolcaypse was caused by it is only going to backfire when some vilian reveals it or anne finds it out for herself. Taking her to a place full of infomration where he’ll now have to work to hide the truth is just asking for this to backfire. Not bringing it is one thing, dangerous people could still get the box and use it for their own ends.. we’ve seen female newt sabertooth in the promos and we’ve met Grime. But not telling her is just setitng himself up for a big and deeserved fall soon. But with that settled our heroes set out!

Final Thoughts I: Overall this was a good start to the season: my one real complaint is the town didn’t really see them off or anything, so the large and loveable supporting cast is just.. absent unless the series returns to wartwood at some point and it would’ve been nice to see them once last time. Even star vs, as bad as season 3 was, knew we wouldn’t be seeing most of the earth cast for a whie and had marco have a meaningful sendoff before he left. But.. given how tight the phacing seems to be this season judging by episode titles alone, and they only had 11 minutes here. I do think it could’ve been in hte next episode, but it dosen’t ruin a decent, fun start to the season really rooted in character stuff. Not the series finest 11 minutes, but still really good and a good way to start us off.

Fort in the Road:

First off your welcome for that episode screencap. Now this one’s also simple, but ends up having a rather sizeable revelation nestled inside. The Plantars are going down the road and while the kids want to you know explore, see places, actually enjoy the trip especailly since Sprig and Polly have never been anywhere else before, Hop Pop, being hop pop, instead just wants them to sit and be quite and follow his rules. I mean it is hte grind but you can at least make it FUN for htem; Just look at this guy.

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It took an episode longer than I thought to refrence the trail to oregon given this season is about a wagon trip, but I’m glad to do it .. and do it again. I will fit pays to be an animal in here somewhere I swear it. WE’ve got time left in the road trip. Anyways this goes down terribly, though some rules like not posing dramatically as it smacks of hubris and never ends well. But understandably the kids are annoyed about it: Anne can’t even compallin because i’ts not in the rules. So naturally as Hop Pop should’ve seen coming at the first opprotuunity Anne fakes being cart sick and they run off to see a weird looking ruin with Hop Pop chasing them and leaving the cart to polly because that can’t end well but he’s on a short time. And this is where the season drops a 10 ton atomic bombshell. Anne being kinda magic in the last episode and it being fully part of things now is intresting and shocking.. but this is miles ahead of it and casts Hop Pop’s actions: Turns out whatever the clamamity box did set techniology in amphibia back to a little above the dark ages. I mean they have full light thanks to lightning bugs, but their still leagues behind.. but were once up to at least mid 2000′s levels of technology. The machine seen requires a disk to stop, but it’s still far beyond what I expcted from this world. Naturally Hop Pop shows up furious, then gets stuck on the assembly line with the kids deseprate to save him, with spirg ending up doing sow ith the rule book. Also we get Anne’s wonderful repsonse to Sprig asking what a disk is: “I don’t know! i’m from another dimension not the 90s!” They surivive, the factory blows up and the kids apologize and agree to go back to the boring way things have been going.. but Hop Pop thankfully realizes he’s been a bit overbearing and actually gives a good reason why: He’s never taken then out of the valley before and simply got overprotective. This is his family after all, all he has left of his kid and all he really has left beside Sylvia and the farm. It’s understandble he’d go a bit overboard. But Hop Pop decides to compromise a bit in a nice moment: while the impalment fields are obviously a non starter, he does get the kids ice cream (Anne even admits at this point she dosen’t pick the bugs out anymore), and they genuinely enjoy the trip while Sprig (in a hilarious bit of lampshadng as he does it repeadtly) wonders jsut what they were making.. and as I spoiled it was robots.. one of whom is now following them. Wether this means new doom or the plantars getting a new robot family member I don’t know i’m hoping for the latter. Everyone needs a vision in their life. Final thoughts II: While having a bit of an obvious conflict with an obvious resolution the character work combined with the MASSIVE plot bombshell really make this enjoyable and I hope to find out more about just what the hell happened and what these robots are for. Just another good solid episode and an excellent duo to start the season. Next week: Things take a turn for the western and Anne learns to hunt and more about the glow. And with the glow you need to grow to glow... until then i’ll likely have mor ereviews on this channel, I recently reveiwed all of season 1 of close enough if your curious, and until next time.. play us out Willie!

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I love what i’ve seen of this throughly stupid movie. Bye ya’ll!

#amphibia #handy anne #fort in the road #season 2 #brenda song #bill farmer #the suite life on deck #disney channel #disney xd #disney plus #anne boonchuy #hopidiah planter #sprig planter #polly planter #sasha #lord grime

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