#discourse. i wish there was more of it here too.

[three--rings]

Started writing this last

I spent the six months before and the nine months after the 2016 election doing extensive activism, online like 16 hours a day compiling actions and protests and coordinating people.

And then I burned out hard, and quit, sick of everyone and everything in the left-leaning political sphere. Absolutely sick to death of the endless handwringing about which actions were actually good and which were problematic or ineffective and infighting over priorities and virtue signaling.

And I found refuge in Yuri on Ice fandom, which is when I started writing fic again for almost the first time in a decade.

And I look at the future here and I'm just so tired. Too tired to do that again. The world is so much worse now. Discourse is so much worse now. Politics has gone rancid. I'm too old, tired, and disabled to fight. And mostly I don't have hope like I used to.

I just feel like the most I can manage now is to maintain my own desire to keep living. I mean it's already the most I can do to keep us fed and our bills paid. I have a business I need to put more work on to bring in money cause see the cost of everything. I need to work on building strength so I can properly walk again.

You know? But I feel like I'm failing.

I'm already so, so tired of seeing posts about giving money to various (worthy!) charities as a way to do something, when I can't make it from paycheck to paycheck these days and cannot spare anything.

And I don't have transportation anywhere because I have a car that's needed repairs for almost a year now that I can't afford so I can't go and do anything. And yanno, it's gonna get WORSE for a long time before it gets better, now.

And I'm so tired of being so helpless and tired and I'm just that "man loses last little bit of hope he didn't even know he still had" meme. I didn't realize I had some optimism about my countrymen left but apparently I really did.

And I'm so so jealous of everyone I know in blue states. Who feel some comfort in where they are. I don't have any representatives to call! They hate me! They actively wish suffering on me and wish I would die! My neighbors are thrilled right now! My doctors will be celebrating again while I struggle to afford my care and I'll grimace and try to smile so I can continue living.

I don't know, I'm just...talking.

[velvetvexations]

Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.

I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).

And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.

This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.

I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them

Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.

Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".

So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.

Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.

Thank you for the support, anon.

[mettywiththenotes]

How lonely does it feel on Tumblr with no fellow Mera fans

There are Mera fans around. I remember there being at least 4 accounts who've reblogged some of my stuff about him while expressing their happiness/similar thoughts of skrunkliness in the tags. Also now and again I get people going through my blog liking my Mera posts (though idk whether they are specifically fans or just curious. still cool either way)

So I mean. I think there are other Mera fans here. Probably only a handful of them. The fandom tags aren't thriving but dw they are around lol

Even if its quiet sometimes, I'm not really upset about it. Any engagement is great but also being able to ramble without worrying about trying to catch anyone's attention is also good, yknow?

And I've gotten supportive/encouraging asks from followers and mutuals about my obsession with Mera and I always like those <3

I'd say its probably a small following of people overall and I'm content with that

[florenceisfalling]

its ok the situation is long behind me and i have never experienced a bad feeling about it ever 👍 (lying)

[tunacharm]

I understand feeling guilty about having outdoor cats, but please let that guilt inspire you to making a better, safer life for your kitties instead of becoming defensive and angry! It never feels good to realize that you were maybe doing something that wasn't always the best, but it doesn't make you a bad person for not knowing or thinking differently. Dogs also seem happy to be outside, but we know it isn't okay to let them roam freely with no supervision. We have leash laws for a reason. Sorry if I'm overstepping, animal welfare means a lot to me, and I don't think people should reject a message that ultimately is better for you, your cats and the environment because some people are mean about it. Some people are mean about everything, but I don't think that makes it okay to shut your eyes to the problem because of the tone it was delivered in. People get heated because we all really care about animals, and I don't think it's right to accuse people of not loving their cats or abusing them, but the truth is cats are invasive, and there are so many dangers out there.

oh you're so kind, you're not overstepping 🥺

also don't worry, i do accept that outdoor cats are No Good. i have a cat myself and she is a full indoor princess, only going outside under my supervision. my family has always had outdoor cats and i didn't know how bad it was until a few years ago, and now any new cats we have are fully indoor only as well. i actually only have one outdoor cat now, and it would be impossible to keep her inside.

i fully understand where you're coming from, and i agree! my issue is when the people of tumblr form this angry mob about an issue and it's like. no one is going to listen to your point if you're being an asshole. it happens quite often with a variety of issues, and i just really hate the culture of people hating on something they disagree with. it's something i have noticed that happens often on tumblr and i guess my contrarian attitude comes into play lol. i do 100% agree that outside cats are very harmful and letting your cats outside introduces them to the dangers as well as the local populations.

i really appreciate your kindness though!! i think understanding is the opposite of prejudice, and a lot of people on tumblr have this self-righteous attitude when it comes to issues they think are a no brainer. it just pisses me off when people are incredibly rude and hateful to those they believe have a "wrong opinion". i think i might just be a little bit of an asshole and a devils advocate too lol

cheers friend and i hope you have a good one!!

[funnyjokespunperson]

HI OOMF. I'M HERE TO AGREE WITH YOU. they both got have soooo much potential for growth with one another and people ONLY FOCUS ON MITHRUN'S. kabru has so much going on and the potential for him to find a support system through helping find one for mithrun (or even just them helping one another) is one of the most important parts of their dynamic to me PERIOD, ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC.

expanding more upon kabru's struggles ironically opens up growth for MITHRUN TOO. i don't understand why so little of it is explored because it's so INTERESTING. i could literally write a whole essay about it if i got my mind screwed on right.

I love kabumisu, but yall focus on mithrun's development too much. What about kabru. What about the things mithrun helps kabru with. What about the things kabru realizes about himself through his interactions with mithrun. He people pleases so hard he accidentally starts thinking about himself, that's such a funny concept. why aren't there more pieces around it.

[tpwrtrmnky]

lockdown

[ID 1: Three-panel comic, first out of four, with crudely drawn stick people.

Panel 1: The sky is blue and peaceful, with some clouds. Someone says "Ah..."

Panel 2: An orange person with dog ears is laying on the grass.

Orangepup Dogsaturated: "Despite the weirdness, it's nice here.

I think... I'm enjoying my fate as an orangepup dogastur-"

They are interrupted by barking.

Orange: "Huh?"

Panel 3: A green person with dog ears and a tail, who is holding a gun, stands over Orange. There is a tree in the background and some windmills on top of a hill in the distance. The barking continues.

Green: "Comrade Hot Pink is sounding the alarm. Come quick. We're going on lockdown."

Orange: "Huh? What are we-"

Green: "No time. Now."

ID 2: Three panel comic continuing from above.

Panel 1: Orange is led by Green down some stairs from outside.

Orange: "What's going on? Expository doctrine please?"

Green: "It's too dangerous. Safety first, explanation after."

Panel 2: Green shuts a vault door as Orange and a blue person with dog ears and sunglasses, as well as some sort of bandolier and a walkie-talkie, watches. The room is a plain beige with a simple ceiling light.

Green: "There."

Orange: "ok can someone explain now"

Blue: "Allow me."

Panel 3: Zoom in on Blue, who looks down dramatically.

Blue: "You must understand, young Orange. As much as we wish to trust you, there are circumstances where safety for the commune comes first.

We are aware that you have certain... Rhetorical susceptibilities, and so could not risk having you make contact with them."

Orange: "Who? Who are they?"

Blue: "One who destroys discourse."

End ID 2, begin ID 3.

Three panels once again.

Panel 1: A split view of a loft and the bunker. A hot pink person with fluffy ears is speaking on the walkie-talkie, while an onyx-colored person with dog ears and long claws is aiming a rifle out the window.

Hot Pink: "Comrade Blue. Onyx is ready. Do we have majority ethical consent?"

Blue: "Take the shot. If we later vote against, I will take accountability for the decision myself."

Orange: "What"

Panel 2: A view of Onyx staring down the scope of the rifle from outside of the window, as Blue narrates.

"You must understand, Orangepup Dogsaturated.

There are many who despise us. Many who would do anything to see us destroyed."

Panel 3: The narration continues from a view from the outskirts of the farm area. A mountain is in the distance, and a pair of grayscale legs are in the foreground, framed by some tree trunks.

"The horrific lesson we have learned...

Is that there is no low that outsiders can be trusted not to sink to.

And the danger of this interloper lies in their ability to provide others with all the excuses they need to justify their hatred."

Interloper: "I..."

End ID 3, begin ID 4. You know what this image is by now.

Panel 1: The Most Illiterate Person Alive, a grayscale individual wearing a book on their head, emerges from the woods, saying: "I am the most illiterate person ali-"

They are cut off by a view of Onyx pulling the trigger, which results in a view of the bullet going straight through the head of the most illiterate person alive, emerging in a shower of gore.

This continues to be a crudely drawn stick people comic.

Panel 2: Inside the barn loft, Hot Pink and Onyx are contacting the others.

Hot Pink: "Comrade Blue, we've confirmed a direct hit! Target eliminated!"

Onyx: "Wait. There's movement."

The Most Illiterate Person Alive: "Holy.

Fucking.

Shitfuck."

Panel 3: A front view of The Most Illiterate Person Alive, blood seeping out of the hole in the front of their face. They are framed in darkness and surrounded by a menacing red glow.

The Most Illiterate Person Alive: "I cannot believe"

The text color is inverted and changes to a more hostile font.

"You actually thought that you had any chance of killing me?"

End ID.]

Start - Previous - Next

[circuitcircus]

in defense of kabumisu……..

addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ‘bad’ or why their canon relationship ‘doesn’t mean anything’ while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have

listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you don’t see it around then god I wish that were me) there’s an age gap!- erm there’s also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh

kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?

kabru isn’t treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and foot…I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao

he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after he…...y’know. speaking of which-

they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"

you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrun’s backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. it’s just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen

mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other

i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didn’t recognize him when they talked for the first time)

mithrun is racist!- he’s actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didn’t use ‘outdated slurs’

(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe it’s worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)

taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.

that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.

+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.

+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:

also here we have him washing his own body

just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. he’s captain for a reason

kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. i’m sure he’s grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well

he even starts doing “unnecessary” things for mithrun’s comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back

here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):

there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabru…)

kabru’s relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but it’s often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isn’t even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason 🥲🥲

kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant

you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters 😭 i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately

also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:

and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more

kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely

haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis 🤪🤪🤪

also don’t somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of don’t make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters

bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:

[johnbrand]

The Stages of Arabization

With @next-pharaoh

“Jeez, it’s so bright here,” Henry oriented his phone up in front of the sun, hoping to block out a few of the direct rays.

“Well, you are closer to the equator,” his boyfriend, Alex, joked. “Dubai is a bit farther south than Boston.”

Henry rolled his eyes, “What would I do without that intelligence of yours?” 

“Too bad you don’t have your own.” They both laughed at that remark. The pair had started dating in graduate school, with Alex venturing down the path of mathematics and Henry following the racial trends of Sub-Saharan Africa. Everyone joked it should have been the other way around, given Henry’s geeky, pale exterior fit the math nerd stereotype better than Alex’s lanky, darker frame. But Henry loved his studies, so much so that he had been invited to a conference in the United Arab Emirates to talk on them.

Suddenly, Henry received an email notification from one of his sponsors. “Dang, looks like I have to get back to work. Just received an essay to review before the next presentation.”

“How long do you have?”

“Barely 30 minutes.”

“Well forward it to me,” Alex replied. “We can tag team it. I know this isn’t my strong suit but at least I can help cover more ground.”

Henry thought that was a great idea. Without a second thought, he redirected the email and wished his boyfriend goodbye. Alex would send his thoughts over text when he had finished.

“‘The Stages of Arabization’,” Henry recited aloud. He was planning to head inside to read–gingers burnt way too easily in the direct sunlight–but he noticed the writing was pretty short. Barely even a page. Henry was surprised to realize the essay was in Arabic, but he quickly utilized a translator app to resolve the issue.

Stage 1: Islamization  Islam becomes the majority religion or state religion.

Strange formatting, but Henry understood the statement as rather truthful. The historically successful Arabizations of Morocco, Algeria, and Egypt had followed a similar suit. Even some of the countries he had studied had shown signs of this progression.

Stage 2: Linguistic Arabization Islam brings fixation on Arabic language, thus the Arabic language becomes central to the society's identity. Arabic becomes the state language.

Henry found this statement agreeable as well. There was something so methodical about the Arabic language, how it melodically ebbed and flowed in such a way that it twirled through the hearing canals directly into the brain. Anyone who listened to it almost became entranced, as if captured by its beauty and awakened by its fluidity. Henry closed the translator app before continuing on. 

Stage 3: Cultural Arabization Arab cultural practices become common due to Islamization. Own cultural heritage is deemed closer to ages of ignorance and thus gradually forgotten and replaced with Islam.

Henry had followed this trend through his research. Many of the countries he had analyzed over the years had demonized their traditional practices once introduced to Islamic culture. It was like watching a child being given a new toy; the original quickly discarded for one deemed far more superior. These assimilations had even started to appear in Henry’s life. Thobes were the new fashion craze among his fellow researchers, midday prayer rooms had taken over labs, and even the cafeteria had become completely halal.

Stage 4: Ethnic Arabization Planned migration of many Arab tribes and deliberate suppression of the numbers of natives, consequently major demographic shift. Media encourages Arabs to multiply and mix.

This too had arrived in the workplace. Rapidly, it had become obvious that the university was prioritizing hiring Arab and Arab-American employees. Political discourse on abortion had suddenly disappeared, instead dropping birth control from medical insurances and advertising “Reversion Through Fertilization”. Luckily, Hussein had not been influenced much by this change. In fact, he almost felt as if he was somehow a part of it.

Stage 5: Fully Arab State Arabs and the Arabized become elite and majority. Non-Arabized are shunned and pressured to revert until no opposition remains.

Hussein smiled with pride, closing the essay he was sure to give high remarks to. His best friend Ali had a similar response, a text from him glowing with praise about the truth in the writer’s words. The essay was eloquent, thought-provoking, and would become mandatory literature at his lab, and soon throughout the reverting world. It reflected the future, similarly to his own phone screen: masculine, virile Arab men. Hussein felt a divine sense of conformity with Islam, one all were soon destined to see.

[gfmima]

category : 米哈游 原神 work title : he’s not lover approved by traveler/paimon

there is nothing lyney wouldn’t do for you. if he can, he will; if he doesn’t have the means, he will find a way — no matter if it means standing still as a deer in the forest in front of the traveler and paimon, who shot him with icy glares upon discovering your romantic relationship.

he stands at your front door, in his hand a small bouquet of flowers he purchased in the city; his heart beating madly in his chest. the moment was surreal, like a suspense novel.

questions swirled, each one more bewildering than the last. why were the traveler and paimon, individuals he weren’t exactly on the best terms with, standing by your doorway? where were you? and most importantly, how did you know one another?

he didn’t know you had a personal connection with the pair, let alone be a close friend whom they held in high regard. he feared they might reveal the truth about his fate and ask you to end things, two outcomes he hoped to avoid.

the unmistakable tension in the air pours through like a fog, making it difficult to breath. he, though, was determined to dull his unease in a strained yet cheerful sing-song manner.

“ta-da~!”

alas, his attempt at levity fell flat.

“eh? paimon didn’t know you knew each other!” she yelps, a blend of surprise and curiosity in her voice. the traveler, too, nods in agreement.

lyney, feeling like an uninvited visitor in his own lover’s cozy home, removes his hate and rests it on the standee that you had thoughtfully bought for his stay. with a sense of discomfort that he tried to bury, he takes a seat on your old armchair and crosses his legs.

a faint, near inaudible, sigh was his feeble attempt to soothe the racing thoughts within his head.

“i can say the same.” his nimble hand grazes the nape of his neck. “speaking of, where might she be? and, please, do not take offense, what lured you two into her humble abode?” his eyes dart between their scuffed attire, their fatigue state raising alarms. this cannot be good…

“uh, how does paimon explain this?” she trails, and shares a glance with the traveler.

the latter, taking the lead, starts to disclose how you’d been caught in a struggle on your journey to the city. fortunately, you held your ground, battling alongside the duo.

it didn’t mean you returned completely unscathed.

his concern heightened with every single word, and once he finally reached your bedside, he knelt down. his hand gently guides your gaze to meet his.

“why didn’t you tell me?” he espies the myriad of deep cuts and bruises that marred your delicate skin, the frown on his face deepens with every discovery. “why did you hide your injuries from me? do you wish to be the demise of your poor lyney? look, i’ve sprouted a forest of silver strands thanks to the harrowing distress you’ve inflicted upon me!”

as a joke, you roll your eyes at him, which elicits a theatrical and melodramatic whine of your nickname.

“i didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“but it’s my duty to worry about you?! and you’re well aware such secrets are forbidden from me, mon couer,” he scolds, rather mischievously, his finger tracing the outline of a particularly prominent bruise. it was clear that he genuinely couldn’t bear the idea of seeing you in pain.

he didn’t need to look to know the traveler and paimon were silently mocking him. you’re the very last person to say that, he can hear one of their voices answer.

the following hours unfold as a strange experience… the trio find themselves navigating the ‘intricacies’ of caring for you and your wounds, their interactions were a pleasant balance of teamwork and arguments.

it was a bit of an overstatement, you were merely sporting a couple of bruises and cuts here and there, far from laying at death’s door. at one point, they even engaged in — a passive aggressive — discourse about the meticulous art of wrapping bandages and the hours of your antibiotics intake.

“while i do appreciate your concern, traveler. i know what’s best for her.”

lyney, adopting a firm posture with arms crossed, ushered a resolute stare at the traveler. the atmosphere brimmed with an unspoken challenge as the latter counters, “it’s impressive how informed you are… i wasn’t aware the world of magic held such peril and risk.”

“what i’m trying to say is she needs a period to rest alone.”

“however,” traveler concedes, “she also needs the support of her friends. she doesn’t need to be isolated.”

he counters with a wave of his hand, punctuating his words,“i’m not advocating for such a thing! i’m only expressing my worry about overwhelming her.”

“if you’re both going to argue, do it outside.”

there was no longer space for disagreement, the severity of your expression conveys a message that leaves no room for uncertainty or lightheartedness in your tone.

one last glimpse of your resting silhouette and he returns to the comfort of your living room, on the settee, exasperated yet cautious. meddlesome eyes preying on him, the friction amongst them was obvious to see, beneath it lays a shared regard for you wellbeing.

“can paimon stay?”

quick question, can you positively say your friends and lover get along? the short answer, no; the long answer, not really, no.

ignorant, oblivious, and unaware… there exists a plethora of words to describe the profound state of confusion you felt regarding your friends’ steadfast reluctance to embrace the wanderer as your lover. their hesitancy remained an enigma, though, you can take a ganderw and guess it might be due to his crabby demeanor.

yet, when you allude to it, they refuse to utter a word.

although it did prove to be considerably simpler to gather a proper answer from paimon than traveler. she wasn’t shy, she expressed her thoughts about him. very freely. it began with her calling him short in both stature and temperament, and eventually led up to a blunt end, saying the problem lies in his attitude.

she was in complete denial, the notion you were in love with HIM, of all people, a sentiment underscored by her disbelief at the idea.

your warm presence rendered you a person whose kindness knew no bounds. in stark contrast, he was the epitome of a grump, a less than delightful company. if you were searching for a partner, she could’ve found a more ‘suitable’ match for you!

uh, maybe a compassionate and mellow personality, a man akin to kazuha, might be the perfect choice? she entertains the idea of opening it up to the traveler.

while privy on the subject, the traveler chose to stay hushed the entire time. despite their initial resolve to be neutral, you couldn’t help but notice the bitter expression that manifests when you utter his name.

it was clear to see something occured in the past…

however, your frequent line of questioning over the passing weeks eventually wore them down. after all, alongside paimon, you were a good friend of theirs! and it only seems fair to reveal their lingering apprehensions.

the fateful encounter with wanderer, a narrative that — you had to suspend your disbelief — went back to a time before his very existence had been erased by the use of irminsul and the assistance of lesser lord kusanali. as they wove this convoluted tale, you struggle to keep pace with the details, but your patience compelled you to still try.

“well, if it isn’t sumeru’s resident grouch!” paimon interjects your conversation by greeting him with a self-satisfied grin, thinking she just coined the most clever nickname since the inception of ‘tone-deaf bard.’

with a wry smirk, he chuckles, “i wasn’t aware they allowed pets inside the tavern.”

he was an absolute menace, you inwardly comment, stifling a giggle at her antics. her tantrum-like foot stomping in the air cemented your impression that they were far from being the best of friends.

“WHY YOU!” she shrieks, and he aptly interjects by sticking his tongue out at her. naturally, it only provokes her further. “paimon seriously doesn’t like you! c’mon, traveler. let’s find a table outside.”

the latter of whom sends you an apologetic glance, one that you reciprocate, before trailing after her.

not a second later, your dear wanderer eases in close to you. his knee brushes against yours — and if he sat any nearer, it would surely invite disapproving stares from the patrons at neighboring tables. he drapes his arm around your shoulder and leans his head next to yours.

it was rather audacious of him and out of place for the aura within the restaurant.

“was it necessary to tease her?” your amusement deepens now that paimon was out of earshot.

he shakes his head then lets out a short, mirthless laugh. “it was funny and there’s no hiding it, i know you were amused as well.”

“all lies!” playfully, you narrow your eyes at him. “i’m a good person and a good person like me does not take pleasure in other’s misfortunes.”

“then what are you doing with me?”

“hm, consider it an act of kindness.”

he was going to scoff at your retort when he met your gaze, a spark of affection and desire flickers. the blithe undertone gave way to a moment of intimacy. he leans closer, his eyes locked onto yours, and in that fleeting, heart-fluttering instant, it feels as if the entire world around you waned into obscurity.

“lucky me, then.” his lips, warm and inviting, met yours in a chaste yet rousing kiss, leaving you both breathless.

unbeknownst to either of you, paimon was on her way back witnessed the scene. the traveler asked her to tell you to go outside because the food they ordered arrived. however, seeing how happy the ‘good-for-nothing grump’ made you, her perspective shifts.

she returns to their table without a sound, deciding to give you two some privacy for a little bit longer.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

I need to add your tags here too Julian because you continued to say fantastic things...

#nothing will ever be or beat bad buddy in terms of. anything really lets be honest #but literally it is so special that new shows are able to do the things they do without it really being a big deal #like i just remember being there! as bb was airing and i remember how fucking sick the ep12 preview all made us #i remember how on the fence we all were abt ink being introduced #i remember the 'itll never happen but i wish' jokes about inkpa!! #i remember all the theories that korn or ming were homophobic...all of us just waiting for the rug to be torn out from under us #and every step bb said no we're not gonna do that to you. because we get it. #and its only been a year but i would NOT BE ENJOYING MSP THIS MUCH #if bad buddy hadnt set the stage #this is not a comparison or saying one is better than the other this is Literally #just an observation of the way the industry is changing right before our eyes #and plenty of ppl have brought the eclipse into the discussion which is So True #but i think theres so much merit to be found by discussing THESE two as romcoms #its just fascinating to me!!!! idk if i said it all right but. yeah!!!

Yes, YES! to all this Julian. Bad Buddy walked so that we could all run headlong into MSP without fear of being done dirty. This show is such a joy to watch and part of that joy comes from trusting that we are being given the show that we want to see. I've seen some other people making reminders that 2Gether 'came first' and also paved the way for MSP - and yes that's true, and there was A LOT that we didn't get from 2Gether that BBS (and others) rectified - but there was something really special about BBS that did a hell of a lot more with the development of this genre which is now enabling us to watch MSP in the way that we are - safe and free from anxiety.

It's in the complexity of the story. How the elements of the story get woven so dextrously into each episode's mini-story arch. And how the story and the characters make huge developments within each episode and it never feels rushed. It's in the balance between poignancy and COMEDY, and the timing and pacing (as Julian already mentioned). It's how we get the two main characters revealing their feelings for each other half-way through the series but it doesn't feel like an ending but just the start of something more...how we then get to witness their love and friendship and courtship and all the wonderful things that come with a new relationship, like the lingering looks and the butterflies in the stomach, right alongside them and for so long. Like BBS, we're going to get to see Tinn and Gun grow and support each other through the difficulties they're going to face in the next 6 eps. And that still feels so refreshing in this BL world but that's what BBS showed the rest of the industry - the potential for the the love interests to not wait until the last ep to finally get together, and instead of all the frustrating obstacles the characters could keep having to face in confessing to their crush, we actually get to see how they manage the changing dynamics of their relationship after the confession moment.

BBS subverted so many freaking tropes and showed what could be done instead, so now we can watch MSP without fear. And part of that trust comes with all the connections in the production team to BBS...after all why would Toto do any of those tired tropes when they were so expertly demolished in BBS?! And damn right the show has so many references to Bad Buddy - it's like the proud younger brother going 'look Phi! We learnt from you and we're trying to do even better'. And you know what, they are. This is a wonderfully neatly packaged BL - it's too early to say whether I will ever be able to consider it 'better' than BBS (because that show owns my whole heart) - but it's EXCELLENT not because of its cute nods to BBS but because it's just FANTASTIC in it's own right...and as much as people might be getting fed up of us always talking about BBS we have to acknowledge the ground-breaking work it did which has led to MSP being this fantastic.

do people understand that we couldnt have anything that weve gotten in msp if bad buddy hadnt come first.

and i dont just mean all the callbacks and references to it - or even the fact that half the cast and the director were involved in bb somewhat (ntm p'aof producing hi king) - which is all wonderful,

but i mean the comedy balancing perfectly with darker emotional moments - the way the tone changes never throw the audience off.

the casual yet clear signs of physical attraction shown as no big deal, as parts of funny moments or delightful moments rather than panic and awe, between two main characters where there again is no clear line separating them into stereotypical masculine or feminine traits.

the PACING!! THE PACING! so much is accomplished in every episode, it feels like a new dynamic between the characters with each one and each reveal. it's gradual and takes its time and is even predictable on occassion but it's not slow - and it keeps you hooked with good writing and stellar performances. even the product placements feel natural again - the tropes used feel fresh rather than overdone...

and let's talk about the way this is a story that also seems to know that it's a bl, and (so far) also hasn't shown a speck of homophobia. there's such a meta message to be found in these portrayals, like this is what the world could be like, this is the world as we experience it or how we wish we could.

and it makes me feel SAFE. and that's because! of! bad buddy!

its just the most incredible thing to me that i can watch things take place in a story and not worry about them. rather just enjoy them and feel what the story is trying to make me feel. like for example in ep6 tiw suggested sound might be into gun and not only was that disproven that episode, i actually forgot it'd even happened bc it was never brought up again. the miscommunication had nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with hesitancy, which felt so much more true to real life and was honestly really lovely to watch!!!

like bad buddy, new episodes of msp have set up and resolved a different conflict each time - but without bad buddy i would not have been able to watch that ep without waiting for the shoe to drop. because i was on edge the first time thru bb, waiting to be proven wrong, waiting for the drama to start, and if you weren't there, as a previous bl watcher experiencing that feeling of holding your breath....it's just so hard to explain.

the fact of the matter is that bb showed me bl stories could do better.......and my school president is continuing to be better. it's just proving to be a very special show

[thalfbloodloser]

i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)

a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...

anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.

let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.

give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")

but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.

...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)

(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)

[doki-doki-imagines]

Kisses

tw: some suggestive, nsfw (Johnny Cage one)

author note: another idea I needed to write out. Hope you'll enjoy reading those!

If there is something Raiden can’t stand is seeing you cry; tears and snot don’t suit you. Raiden’s warm hands cup your face, calloused hands against your soft cheeks, thumbs brushing the remaining tears  “Come with me” he whispers, chocolate brown eyes looking at you with such passion they almost make you forget all your problems.

He takes you to the field where he spends most of his day “The stars here are brighter than anywhere else” he tells you, voice strong and reassuring before sitting on the ground next to you.

Words escape your mouth like a waterfall, no filter, brain shut, just the need to share, something you are not used to do.

Raiden listens to you, eyes never leaving your face, while you look at the starry sky, your eyes always elsewhere, too worried you’d lose the thread of the discourse if your eyes happened to meet.

“If I know something is that everything other than death has a solution.“ His forefinger push behind your ear a strand of your hair, the action makes you jerk, eyes widening and finally, you look at him.

There isn’t much light, but the moon frames his face perfectly. You can see a reddish hue coloring his cheeks, and a smile full of hope that makes your heart thump with joy “I’m sorry I can’t offer you a better answer, but-“ his hands grip your arms, strong, but without hurting, his strength perfectly stable “Never let yourself down, life will get better believe me.” You bite your tongue “It never does Raiden” you’d like to reply, but his words carry so much hope that you can only nod at him.

He lifts himself up from the ground and extends his hand out to help you.

“Thanks” You say after minutes of silence, your steps on the ground the only sound, not even cicadas try to interrupt.

“For the hand? It really is no-“

“For the company, for your words.” You look at him, now standing in front of your room. You kiss his cheek and wish him goodnight, a shy smile appears on his face as he waves at you.

The newfound warmness spreading from your heart is a new problem you’ll have to learn how to deal with in the next few months, for now, you can only rest and wait for a new day to start.

“You finally woke up, you idiot.” Tomas could recognize that voice between millions of others, so sweet and so caring even if they just called him an idiot.

Grey eyes scan the room, he’s in the infirmary bed, at Madame Bo restaurant. He and Kuai Liang got ambushed not that far and he remembers getting hit at the back of his head; that stung a lot.

“Do you know who I am?” Your voice trembles and Tomas has the urge to coo at you; obviously, he knows who you are, his heart keeps thrumming mercilessly against his ribcage the moment he opened his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, who do you think I am? A simple knock on the head won’t either kill me or make me lose my memory.” He half teases, but the scowl is still stuck on your face.

“Tomas-“ Your voice is serious and he can only look at you, at your trembling lips and shiny eyes “I seriously thought I lost you.” Your arms envelop his figure, your face hidden resting on top of his right shoulder,  new warmth adding to Tomas one.

He is stuck in place, but his mind is running wild. His left hand pats your head and he feels the corner of his lips twitching.

You must care about him a lot.

You lift your head up, your teary eyes locking into his gray ones, pupils wide, so deep he may lose himself in them. Tomas feels the time slowing down, almost stopping, your lips inching closer and closer ‘till they finally touch.

He reciprocates, not a single second lost, your lips dancing and searching for each other, breath mingling, tongue fighting in a battle of supremacy, both wanting to feel more of each other. Tomas pulls you towards him and your body falls onto his, chest against chest, heart beating at the same rhythm, divided by the layers of your clothing. Limbs tangle, hands everywhere, caressing and groping;  from an outside view, it wouldn’t be able to tell where one starts and the other one ends.

This ‘till your hand pulls Tomas’ hair. He breaks the kiss and flinch, maybe that was more than a little hit on the head. He can see you try to pull off from him, eyes full of worry, but his hands keep you in place, on his lap, fingers leaving indent on your hips that will for sure bruise.

“I-I shouldn’t have, sorry Tomas.” Your hands, so tiny and soft in contrast to his ones, push against his chest, like you are trying to distance yourself from him, head turned to the side not looking at him.

Your hair messy, your lips still red and bruised, and that worried expression, fuck, Tomas would like to frame his moment, your cuteness overwhelming all his senses.

Then you both hear a voice, it’s Madame Bo telling you to go back to work, the signal that he has to let you go. You remove yourself, Tomas’ hands finally loosening up. You brush your clothes in place and rush towards the exit.

“See you later” Tomas rasps out.

You nod.

Later you’ll have more time to talk about your feelings.

“Johnny-“ A breathy moan escapes your mouth.

The atmosphere is humid, the heat of your two bodies entangled is almost suffocating.

You missed Johnny, this new project he has been working on keeps him away from home for months. You are a supportive partner, you love him and you want to see him happy but, fuck, you missed him so much.

You are lucky he is on your same wavelength. He opens the door and your lips are already locked, hands unbuttoning shirts and pants being thrown somewhere.

“I missed you so much, Johnny.” You gasp in between kisses, your hand on the back of his neck to keep him impossibly close to you.

He groans, his hands now on your lower back lifting you up from the ground.

Everything else is a blur in your mind, you soon find yourself lying on the bed, legs open and Johnny working his tongue southward, your warm sex as inviting as water in the desert.

“Fuck-“ Your hand lay on his head, trying not to grip to harshly his dirty blonde locks.

“Yeah baby, tell me how good I am.” You look down to see his hips grind against the mattress, so desperate for you.

A wave of pleasure licks down your spine, your eyes roll back, throat exposed while you bit your bottom lip trying to keep a louder moan.

How good it is to be desired.

“J-Johnny you are so go-“ Your phrase gets interrupted by a gasp, a particular flick of his tongue makes you see stars, your legs reflexively close, but Johnny’s strong hands keep your thighs apart, fingers circling the inner side and you don’t know if it is done to calm you or him.

One of his hand leave your legs to play with your sex, his face now squeezed between your soft thighs, but your mind is too fogged to worry about crushing him, not that he minded his motions only getting faster and uncoordinated.

An orgasm soon permeates your body, Johnny lifts up, his lips drenched with your essence, his pupils blown wide, your heartbeat impossibly fast, a different kind of heat enveloping your limbs.

Your lips meet again, you taste your flavor on his tongue, lips locking, his hands now resting on your waist, pushing your chests impossibly close, but not enough, never enough.

“I love you.”

The night ahead is still long.

Bi-Han is awake, sitting on your bedding, naked, but the covers hide everything under the navel. The moon shines bright in the sky,  the light and shades framing his lover's body sleeping soundly next to him.

Bi-Han is a man eaten by greed, by pride, a man made more of scars than flesh.

But you love him and he loves you. It’s a feeling he never knew, it isn’t the kind of warmth he got from his mother's compliments, or from his brother's support, it is something much more exhilarating, that makes his eyes soften and his hardened core melt more than he’d like to admit.

His eyes land on your body, so soft, so sweet, he wants to defend you from all the ugliness of this world.

Maybe from him too.

He looks outside the window, the night is still long, but there is no sign of tiredness in his eyes.

“Bi-Han, it is late you should sleep.” Bi-Han breaths, he didn’t even notice how long he had been keeping his breath in, mind so busy and heart uneasy.

Your arms wrap around his neck, naked body laying on his back, your lips kissing his neck, where arteries and veins flow.

“Worried about something?”  Your eyes look at his face, he doesn’t look back but he knows, searching for any telltale sign of his emotions.

“Nothing you should worry about sparrow.” He breathes out, voice raspy as always.

You don’t believe him, he knows it. Your hand starts to trace the scars painting his skin, your lips barely caressing the newborn scratches on his back.

 “Tell me your worries, my heart.” Your arms hug his frame and push him down together with you.

Bi-Han doesn’t struggle against your hold, his head now in the crook of your neck, free hair tickling you.

“Don’t worry about me, tomorrow is a busy day and you need to rest.”  He kisses the tip of your nose, his calloused hand caresses your cheek, thick fingers drawing circles on your skin.

You kiss him, in a slow liplock. Eyes closed, hands holding.

Bi-Han bites your bottom lips before breaking the kiss and you groan, the only kind he likes.

He looks into your eyes and he only finds love, sweet and blissful. A new fire starts inside his heart.

Bi-Han still doesn’t know how to protect you from this accursed world, for now, he’ll have to settle for showing how much he loves you.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

By fire and heart.

Pt. 5

Daemma Targaryen. Second daughter of King Viserys and queen Aemma, you're the living portrait of your mother with the character of a true dragon, as a second daughter you don't have right to the throne but certainly, you will protect your sister's succession by heart. (You are one year younger than Rhaenyra.)

Warning: Credits of this images goes to whoever they belong to! Grammatical and spelling errors, maybe this won't be good enough but In my head the story was a good one.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Pt.4 and Pt.6 is here.

You heard about the news of lady Rhea's death, an unfortunate event for a lady of an important house and suspiciously there's no news of your uncle, he wasn't there apparently.

You've been flying with Whitefyre, you do not wish to talk with your sister and neither to be in a ship with her.

You felt pity for Alicent, she is now on her own in that big castle, no friends, just her and her children.

You arrived earlier with the Velaryon, Laena and Laenor Velaryon received your father and sister.

You were eating breakfast when you saw Laena and Rhaenyra coming in, you stood up and excused yourself mentioning that you were ready to practice with Laenor, but it was really a lie since later Laenor and Rhaenyra were walking on the beach the same morning.

The visit was quick at least for the king and Rhaenyra, but you stayed, you convinced your father you were going to start your own search for a husband and occasionally you would visit him, he was hesitant but in the end he felt like he owed you that, Rhaenyra had her opportunity, it is fair that you have it too.

It was just to be away from home, until your anger and disappointment passed, while that happened you would continue your studies learning and getting better in your battle skills.

You assisted in the royal wedding just because it was one of your father's conditions, there you are walking around the hall, a beautiful light blue dress, you're just expecting to lose yourself in the crowd so you can go back to your chambers as soon as possible.

The entrance of your uncle is always a scandal, but not unexpected, your father always has a seat for him, his discourse is interrupted by Alicent, wearing the colours of the Hightower house, everybody knows what it means, war, your sister looks at you, confused expecting for some kind of signal that can helps her to understand what happened. But there's no relief since you avoid her look.

You're too focused on Daemon, the way he looks at your sister, hunger and desire, but also Alicent, perhaps you're angry with your sister, but you will not break your promise, you will approach Alicent to know what is going on, you think will it be easy since your distant attitude with your sister is evident.

While everybody dances you go to Alicent to compliment her for her dress.

- Thank you princess, perhaps this is not the right moment but I would like to have a private audience with you later.

- Of course my queen, if I can be honest with you, I've been feeling lonely, as you can see, my sister and I are not in good terms.

Both smile at each other and you leave her to talk with some other ladies, it's an enjoyable night until you see your father's eyes focused in the middle of the dancefloor, your sister and uncle, talking really close to each other, you're approaching when you suddenly hear screams and a lot of people pushing each other, you're dragged by the sea of people.

Ser Harwin Strong takes your sister far from the battle and then Daemon saves you, putting you away too. Everybody is in silence leaving the room as everything ends. There are no more festivities, the wedding takes place that same night.

You went to sleep that same night thinking about everything, your father's health, your sister's marriage, your uncle saving you, Laenor's pain and Alicent's actions. The dreams you had that night were full of blood, young boys with brown and silver hair, dragons and storms.

The next morning you joined Alicent, breakfast with her and her children, you don't know yet who could be an ally or an enemy, but at the moment you have to be on both sides.

You continued with your own plans of traveling around the seven kingdoms, you're not visiting houses to find a husband, that is not your principal objective, you want to find allies in case of those dreams you have become true.

With time you became close to Alicent, it hasn't been easy but the treatment you have with her children has been useful.

You discovered Aegon is undisciplined and emotional, a constant headache for Alicent, the other two are different and you put effort to know them too, but since Aegon is the older, you try to keep an eye on him, keeping him in that way, impossible and hard to control.

You heard the news of your sister's pregnancy so you went back home to meet the new member of her family.

You could hear the pain through her door, then a baby crying loudly, you get inside, it was such a beautiful view, your sister was smiling holding the tiny form in her arms, you never thought you would actually see her so happy with pregnancy and newborns, but she has been a good mother.

- Congratulations sister, another beautiful and healthy baby.

- Thank you Daemma, would you like to hold him?

You were ready to hold him when a servant intervened «The queen demands to see her grandson immediately»

- Why?

You demand but there's no response, your sister holds the baby and stands up.

- I'll take him, help me to dress up.

She's in pain, she should be resting but refuses to. All the maidens are helping while you're asking where Laenor is.

He appears happy as any father has to be, his face changes when he sees her walking out of the room. He offers to help but she neglects the help. You know what Alicent wants to see, if this baby finally will have silver hair or will it be another brown haired boy.

You will not join there, you will have plenty of time to meet the new little prince instead you decide to pay a visit to the other young members of the family.

The dragon pit, is a dark and fresh place, but you could sense the presence of the dragons miles away, the power they emanate is magnificent. You were at the entrance of the place when you heard laughs.

- What is it so funny? (You said)

All the boys turned back except for Aemond. As you got close you saw a pig in front of the poor boy.

- Who did this?

You feel like it is not fair and it is not funny, you were reprimanding them for such a horrible joke when you lost Aemond.

- Where's Aemond?

- He went to take a ride with his new dragon...

Jace murmured and the Three of them laughed, a roar echoed around and Aemond appeared, he ran away.

- It is not funny, Aegon, he is your brother, it suppose your job is to take care of him, not make fun of him! And you, young boys, would you laugh if the joke was for you? I expected the three of you to offer an apology to Aemond.

The boys pretended to feel guilty, you left the dragon pit to look for Aemond. Unfortunately it was too late, he was already with Alicent, the attitude of boys does not help to stop creating tension between both families.

Aegon was reprimanded by his mother after his joke at the dragon pit , he is constantly under the watch of the queen, punished for all he does and does not.

You were on your way back to your chambers, you paid a visit to Aemond and Helaena and once you were in your door you heard the sobs and sniffing of Aegon, he was sitting in the chair looking at the floor as if something interesting was there.

You sighed and walked to him, you know you have to treat him well, he has to trust you.

- Aegon? What's wrong, sweetheart?

You were going to sit next to him but he quickly wrapped his arms around you and his face hid on your abdomen.

- Aemond told mother about what happened at the dragon pit, it wasn't me! It was Jace's idea! We were just having fun, but she told me something about defending my family and me manipulating them!... Who cares about Rhaenyra's place in the throne?

- Shh, calm down, What about Rhaenyra?

- She says... me and my siblings life will be in danger, I don't want her place, I don't want to replace her, I don't want to be a king! I swear I don't want to!.... I'm sorry I know I shouldn't cry.

- Shhhh, it's okay Aegon, you're fine here with me.

He continues sobbing and your dress is already wet with his tears, you simply caresses his hair looking at your window too focused on what he said and how to use it on your sister's favor that you couldn't hear what he asked you.

- Daemma?

He looks at you, his cheeks are red and his eyes are puffy and filled with tears.

- Sorry, what did you ask, my dear?

- Rhaenyra... would she do that?

- Oh my sweet brother, of course not, she won't ever dare to hurt you or your siblings, the queen is just paranoid, don't believe in those lies.

You gave him a kiss on his head, you feel disgusted by your actions but you discovered Aegon constantly craves for the love and caring that his mother never shows him, it's pretty much the same with Aemond, a lonely boy who just needs comfort when the world is cruel to him. As a woman you know the power you possess over men and you have learned how to use it to obtain whatever you want.

Aegon hides in your chambers at every opportunity he has, it's one of the few places where the queen doesn't look for him, he feels like you're his safe place. He fell asleep on the chair, you were leaving the room to go to your sister and talk, when Aegon's voice caught you by surprise.

- Are you leaving?

- Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up.

He stands from the chair, anxious and afraid.

- Are you leaving again? Where will you go this time, huh?

- Rhaenyra requested my presence, I was on my way to her chambers, I'm not leaving... I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

- Why do you always leave? I barely see you.

- Aegon, I leave because I have to find a husband, it's my duty to find a good Match that can benefit our family.

- A husband?

He stays with his head full of thoughts, you nod and excuse yourself, leaving him there. The rest of your evening you spend it with your sister, gossiping about some lords and ladies of the court and then you mentioned what Aegon told you.

- How dare she!? I wouldn't do such a thing!

- Listen, we have to find a way to keep everything in order or at least neutral. I know Jace and Luke are merely children but we have to find a way to calm Alicent's paranoia.

- What do you mean?

- A marriage, between one of your boys with her daughter, maybe that will keep everything in peace, maybe she will agree.

Your sister considers your proposition but she's not very convinced, you know her, every time she doesn't completely agree with something you say she prefers to change the conversation.

- Where will you go this time? I suppose you will leave soon enough.

- Indeed, I think my next trip will be to the north, I heard Cregan Stark is widowed, his poor lady wife got the fever and didn't survive, the princess will be there to show how much the future queen cares about her 'friends'.

You blink an eye and she smirks before taking a sip of her tea, it's a good excuse to visit the north and since you're very charming, probably the wolf in the north will find your presence enjoyable.

The next morning you hear the news about the triarchy returning to the narrow sea, the council meeting is tense as ever before, Alicent continues attacking your sister and the legitimacy of her children and your sister tired of all this tension finally decides it is time to fix it, proposing a marriage alliance between Jacaerys, her son and Alicent's daughter, Helaena. While your father celebrates your sister's proposal, his wife doesn't share the same excitement, your sister looks nervous and anxiety is eating her alive so she proposes to give Aemond a dragon egg, but the face of Alicent says for her it is not enough, and then the next words coming from your sister takes everyone including you by surprise.

- Additionally I propose a marriage between Daemma and Aegon, both will reside in dragon stone.

Everybody looks at you, and your sister's look is a clear ask for help, you suddenly smile at everybody in the room.

- As the Targaryen tradition marks, I would be pleased to take Aegon as husband, I'm pretty sure Aegon and I share... A good connection.

Alicent's face is so serious and full of anger that you're sure she will explode at any moment, instead she simply indicates Rhaenyra is having trouble with her dress and her breasts and finishes with the simple words of «Thank you, the king and I will consider your offer».

You found invaders in your chambers, the two boys were sitting, waiting for you.

- Good morning my dear brothers, what do I owe your visit?

You say walking to the table full of lemon cakes in the middle of your room.

- We heard about the council meeting. What happened there? Mother was furious.

- Oh, nothing just proposal marriages and battles and a dragon egg.

You mention it as if it was not important but you know for them it is.

- An egg?

- Marriage? Who?

Aegon talks anxiously.

- Between Jace and Helaena and between You and me, and the dragon egg for Aemond. Oh, Aemond don't forget we will take a ride on Whitefyre this afternoon.

Aemond smiles, you know the boy only cares about flying over a dragon's back, he runs away without paying more attention in your conversation leaving you with Aegon.

- Are we going to get married?

You're still eating, not looking at Aegon who is waiting for your answer with excitement.

- Unfortunately for us, my dear brother, your mother wasn't very happy with the proposal, so, probably not, that's why I will leave tomorrow.

His face passed from happy to disappointed and angry, just the reaction you were expecting, you approached him and offered him a hug that he immediately accepted. You can feel how he melts in your arms, you have him under your spell.

- Don't leave Daemma, I can convince mother. You're the only one who treats me well.

He hides his face in your abdomen, like a little boy, you smile at yourself and plays with his hair.

- I do not wish to leave you, our sister tried to keep the family together, but the queen rejected the proposal my dear, It is necessary for me to look for another suitor.

Lies, you know Aegon will believe you, if he was fine with the idea of not intervening In your sister's succession now he will continue in the same path, going against his mother because after all, she is the one who separates him from you.

There has been a lot of conflict in the last few days, you don't want to look like you're escaping from all the familiar drama but it is time to leave, you can't stay there for so long since you had the freedom to go wherever and whenever you want to, you would stay a few more days your sister had a bad presage, you're not a believer of superstitions but if that gives her some peace you will stay.

The conflict between the young boys in the training yard was a good excuse for more trouble, Harwin Strong was too dumb, forgetting his place and letting his feelings for your sister's sons intervene on the way. This action obligates the hand of the king to leave his place in the court.

At least this man was honorable, more than any other who sat at the king's side before, recognizing his son's fault, talking about integrity and how he and his family failed the crown, your father rejected the idea, unfortunately the greens had a different idea, Lord Larys Strong the man behind the crime against his father and brother murder, now walks through the halls of the castle observing everybody, every action and interaction between y'all with the favor of the queen he walks freely, learning about everybody's secrets so now you have to be more careful when you're in Kings landing, you will have to spend more time out of home avoiding to be under the eye of the greens but at the same time staying close.

And as your sister predicted, the conflict between both sides of the families, the murdered of the Strong family, the rejection of the marriage proposals and the returning of Otto Hightower as the hand of the king was enough, your sister invited you to go with her, the boys and Laenor to Dragon stone, you agreed, leaving some of your maidens to be your eyes and ears at kings landing, soon enough the news of Laena's death echoed in the whole family. Greens and blacks mixed in a funeral, what could go wrong?

[trans-androgyne]

Heyyyy guess who’s back from the psych ward B)

In all seriousness though, there are gonna be some changes to my blog. A huge contributor to my recent suicidality and resulting involuntary hospitalization was the current state of the online trans community. Seeing this discourse devolve into so much unabashed transmisogyny and transandrophobia (in addition to drowning out the voices of non-binary and intersex folks) feels like it’s slowly killing me. I feel even worse than I did when I almost detransitioned over it last year.

Radical feminism has become pervasive in the queer/trans community, with different branches discriminating against both trans people afab and trans people amab by considering one group or the other to be The Oppressor and categorically attributing them power that they simply do not have as trans people under cisheteropatriarchy (I don’t like agab terms in this context, but that kind of binary is how radfems sort the world: amab/afab, victim/oppressor). Too many folks refuse to listen to the experiences of trans people different from them and insist certain experiences are exclusive to their demographic and/or that one kind of oppression is objectively Worse than others. Not to mention just blatantly misunderstanding sexism and intersectionality.

So, I’m disengaging from as much of it as I can, at least for now. I won’t be checking the tags anymore, I won’t be reblogging quite as many posts. Instead, I’m going to focus on transfeminism from actual researched/published sources, not what random tumblr users claim it to be. That doesn’t mean there isn’t incredibly valuable theory on here, but I haven’t found a way to access it without also ending up knee deep in some of the most hateful and vile behavior I’ve seen within a minority community yet. I’m going to do my best to focus on trans positivity, my own life as a non-binary transmasc, and intersectional transfeminist theory grounded in real trans experiences. I'll start posting slowly again as I recover--it won't be as frequent as before, but what I do put out should be more well-researched and constructive.

If you’re still in the discourse trenches, responding to every incident of intracommunity transphobia on here and arguing on 10-note posts claiming to summarize transfeminism, I wish you the best of luck. Just please, take care of yourself and know when to step away. Stay safe out there.

[mars-ipan]

HEY FOLKS!

sooooo. remember when i was posting about being up way too late for a powerpoint thing i was doing with friends? yeah i'm posting that final powerpoint now.

allow me to introduce you all to...

THE KOMAHINA BIBLE

(aka a demonstration in unmedicated ADHD)

120 slides. 163 MB. somewhere between 14 and 22 hours of work. sleep deprivation. influence from @anonzentimes , respected komahina scholar. this bad baby has it all this is a powerpoint presentation summarizing and analyzing just about everything you need to know about komahina in sdr2 (and a bit from adjacent media as well). we go in-depth and we prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that komahina real and love wins (loses?)

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS MAJOR END-GAME SPOILERS FOR SDR2 (AS WELL AS DR1). IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN SPOILER-FREE (OR YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO KEEP SPOILER FREE (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)) THEN DO NOT VIEW THIS POWERPOINT PRESENTATION UNTIL YOU KNOW. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU HAVING BEEN SPOILED

ok cool! some other things to keep in mind under the cut:

THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED. IF YOU DO NOT SHIP KOMAHINA THAT'S LITERALLY SO FINE I KNOW THERE IS KOMAEDA SEXUALITY DISCOURSE GOING ON RN FOR SOME GODFORSAKEN REASON KNOW THAT I DO NOT THINK EVERYONE HAS TO SHIP KOMAHINA PLEASE I'M LITERALLY A MULTISHIPPER PLEASE. PLEASE DO NOT CRUCIFY ME FOR FUNNY YAOI POWERPOINT

i made this powerpoint in two sittings across 2 days, each sitting about 8-12 hours long

i got about 7 total hours of sleep in that time. not for each day- total. i was mad scientist delirious by the end of this

originally, i wanted to include far more- i wanted to analyze other media in depth (like the stageplays, the drama CD, komaeda's official songs, and even official art and materials) but i did not have the time for it. maybe i will make a new testament powerpoint detailing these as well as fandom analysis but that is not currently in the works

this is a presentation! as such the intended way to consume it is As A Presentation! unfortunately i am not someone who records videos so i cannot present it to you. if you would like to present it to you feel free. if you would like to present it to your friends feel free. if you would like to present it to the internet i'm honored but would like for you to talk to me about it first. cool

the original target audience for this was my friends and not all of them are anime people so. i am using the more english-friendly terms (as well as first names). i don't think this will bug any of you but i'm making it clear anyways

all art included in the presentation is credited with a caption linking back directly to the original artist's account. if you see your art in here and you do not want your art in here: let me know! i will take it down immediately and without question.

i may have missed some details/glossed over some things! if you think i've made a mistake somewhere or have missed something important, talk to me about it! i'd love to discuss it and if i make the new testament sequel powerpoint then i will include your corrections at the beginning :)

a lot of the jokes i make happen in the transitions of this powerpoint. some of them use audio- click on the little speaker icon to play the audio and time the animations yourself i suppose. i'd recommend playing it as a slideshow ^-^

have any questions about a particular point i make? ask me! i will elaborate for you

ok that's all i can think of!! have fun folks :]