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wiypt-writes · 3 years

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Rock And Roll People In A Disco World

Chapter 11- Disco Night

Summary: You and Paul adapt to being parents and soon realise that this is harder than any case either of you have ever worked…

Warnings: Language, adult themes, suggestive language. Smut (nsfw, 18+)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

w/c 9k

Rock And Roll People Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 10 Part 3

The first week you'd brought Connor home was a complete blur, not to mention maybe a day or two you blacked out from pure exhaustion. By the second week he was cluster feeding but you'd managed to get a little routine down. By the end of his first month, you felt like the three of you were an exhausted little family with your newborn running the show.

Paul had ten weeks off. His department giving the full eight, plus he took two on the state paid leave, with the other ten to be taken at a later time if he chose. His first Father's Day had come quickly, the third Sunday in June snapping up practically before your eyes but you'd made it special for him, Big Jim and your father. The three celebrating at yours with the big help of your mom and Dot. They pulled together a brunch with little of your hands on and you were thankful.

Really, the day was spent on the patio in the shade with Woody in and out of the pool, beers for the guys, tea and juice for the ladies, champagne too for Dot and your mom. That night, Paul spent the evening doting over his boy, so proud to be a father and your husband. He especially enjoyed the sweet card with Connor's inked footprints and your lovely handwriting.

It came as no surprise to you that Paul had taken to his role as a new dad like a duck to water. He was hands on, helping with feeding, changing, settling your baby for his naps. Simply put, he adored CJ, who was affectionately referred to amongst you both as Ceej, and you loved seeing it.

And then, just like that, in a snap, Ceej was two months and two days and you and your little family were getting ready to head to Big Jim and Dot's for their annual 4th of July bash. And you had some reservations.

You dressed CJ in a pale blue t-shirt with a tiny pair of short dungarees which were emblazoned with stars. As your baby lay looking at you, you let out a heavy sigh. Paul’s arms crept around your waist and he gave you a quick kiss to the neck, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“Sugar, he’s gonna be the best dressed baby at that party.”

"Disco, he's gonna be the only baby at the party," you said with a snort as you gently lifted CJ from his changing table and passed him off to Paul.

“Exactly my point!” Paul grinned, his large hands gently holding his son to his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of Connor’s head as his little face nuzzling into his dad’s neck. “Now, what are you wearing?”

“Something that makes my boobs easily accessible seeing as I'll be having to feed said best dressed baby.”

A snarky smirk came across his lips and you rolled your eyes, "Oh, Jesus, Paul."

He'd been slightly more rowdy the last few days, knowing well in fact your post birth appointment had come and gone, and the all clear for regular life had been given.

“Hey, look, I happen to find your baby boobs very attractive.”

“Of course you do, they're huge. Twice their size than before and I had big boobs then.” You grumbled and carried on, "not to mention they're rock hard ninety percent of the day and look like fucking Karen's bolt-ons that Steve took a loan out for."

At that he laughed, "Oh Sugar, come here." He adjusted CJ so he could use his free arm to wrap around you, pulling you in close and pressed his lips to the top of your head.

"What?" You harrumphed.

"Nothing." He kissed your head again, "I just love you that’s all."

You sighed loudly, "I love you, too."

Then Paul pulled back and looked at you, "If you don’t wanna go to the party we can skip out. Stay home."

"No, we can't miss it. It's your parents’ annual event." You wiped your eyes as they grew wet and shrugged. "I'm sorry, I'm just in a mood. Your mom will be so sad if we don't bring him by for a little while."

“Look, she’ll understand.”

“I know, but I can't do that to her. She wants to show him off. Like I said I'm just cranky. I’ll be fine. Sometimes I think I'm still adjusting to this new body and I hate it."

"Sweetheart, you snapped back fast. You look nearly the same, baby." Paul spoke with such tenderness and sincerity. "You’re gorgeous, and look what you gave us." He kissed your lips softly after his eyes nodded to CJ, grunting in his neck. "Tell you what, we’ll swing by, stay for an hour or so and come home."

Despite you wanting to agree with him, you couldn't. And you most certainly couldn't stop the personal smear campaign ready to fall from your lips, "Paul.... My ass is huge, my boobs hurt and are massive, my hips are wider. I never cared before but now...."

"Where's this coming from?" This wasn't like you, not ever. And then you saw the look in his eyes as it dawned on him. "You ran into Karen didn't you?"

Bingo!

"Maybe." You shrugged and turned away to set about getting Ceej's things together for the day.

But you didn't miss Paul's massive eye roll and how he covered CJ's little ear, "Fuck Sugar, why do you let her bother you so much?"

"She just does, always has." Then you snorted. "And you have to say I'm gorgeous, you're my husband."

At that he groaned. "Isn’t that the point? You’re gorgeous to me, what the fuck does it matter to anyone else anyway. But, for the record, I almost laid the rookie out the other day for the way he was looking at you when we brought Ceej in to see the guys." “You did?” You frowned, not remembering Paul being a little pissy in the slightest. “Fuck yeah I did.” Paul scoffed, “pervy little bastard.” You chortled and shook your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he held you close. "I don't remember that, but, thanks, Stud." "My point is, you're an amazing, sexy, miraculously talented woman, and fuck the next punk that takes one extra look at you. Because there's nothing, absolutely nothing in this world I wouldn't do or say to make you feel beautiful and to have you see you the way I do."

You swallowed the lump in your throat, "We should go get ready for your parents. And I need to feed the baby, apparently I'm leaking." You looked down feeling your let down leak from your breasts, and sure enough you'd soaked through your own bra, tee and wet Paul's. "Go change, I'll feed him and get dressed to go."

***** You felt miserable despite Paul's words. It was embarrassing that you'd leaked into his clothes after he'd already been ready to go and then right after you'd finished feeding Connor, he let go of a massive poo, soiling his handsome little outfit and therefore you had to bathe and change him again before you could finally dress yourself and be ready to go.

Needless to say by the time you'd gotten to your in-laws you were frazzled, stressed and overwhelmed. Not to mention you were over an hour late.

“I’m so sorry.” You began to apologise to Dot, “We had a diaper incident and needed to change him, and then I-“

“Oh, honey!” Dot chuckled, shushing you immediately, “I remember it well. And it’s no problem, it’s an open house all afternoon. Not that you ever need an invite. Now…” she clapped her hands together, “can I give my gorgeous little man for a hug?”

“Sure!” Paul grinned, placing the baby carrier on the floor, stepping forward, his arms out stretched.

"Not you," Dot laughed but hugged her son anyway. Then she peered into the carrier and saw Connor. "Out cold huh?" She eyed you and you nodded.

"Sorry," you sighed. "Apparently crapping yourself to a bath and two feedings in less than an hour are exhausting to manage." “Don’t knock it,” Dot chuckled as Paul picked up the carrier. “Now it’s up to you as to where you want to put him but Jim picked a baby monitor up the other day and it’s set up for the spare room but it can be moved.”

"Uh, I'd like to just keep him close, thanks Dot." You replied. She nodded softly as your mom then appeared, smiling at you both. After she cooed over CJ, she gave you both a hug and then took the diaper bag from you and Paul's bowl of potato salad he'd made.

"There's a great seat in the garden under the gazebo for you then, the breeze hits just right so you can stay cool. Paul, your dad has the beer in the red coolers and Y/N, what can I get you? Your mom and I made spa water and sangrias." “Erm,” you flapped a little. “I…”

“Baby, if you want a drink have one,” Paul looked at you. “We have bottles for him, it’s your call.”

"The water's fine, for now, maybe later," you replied and followed Dot outside, your mom catching you to tell you she out the bag in the spare room. Paul carried CJ behind you and you found your seat in the garden under the gazebo just like Dot had said.

Paul set the carrier down and you accepted the sweet kiss he offered, "I'll be right back."

You nodded and watched him go as your son began to stir and fuss a little. These were how things went the last few days. Every time he stopped moving, he stirred awake. “Okay, okay… mama’s here.” Slowly you lifted the muslin blanket shading him and saw those eyes that looked like his daddy's wide open at you. Content for now, you gently plucked him from his carrier and like moths to a flame, the women of the barbecue swarmed you. You smiled politely as they came to say hello to the grandson Dot had no doubt been bragging about, and then you spotted Paul coming back, a beer and your water in his hands, your dad and Jim walking with him. The women cooed and awed as the little babe slept in your arms. And in all honesty, it was one of the sexiest things Paul could say he'd seen. The way you sat there in your long red dress with the small blue and white flowers, the way you filled it out up top as the material flowed over your crossed legs, your sunglasses tucked stop your head while your hair flowed long and around your face. Connor was tucked into you like a flour sack, covered lightly with his blue and white striped muslin blanket, eyes closed softly, pacifier in his little mouth. He handed you your glass of water and you smiled up at him in thanks.

"Hi, sweetheart," your dad pressed his lips to your forehead. Big Jim did the same then thumbed a little gentle greeting across Connor's cheek. "I've got the grill going, burgers and dogs should be ready soon, but there's snacks on the table inside if you want Disco to grab you a plate," he offered. “Thanks, Dad, I was just getting round to that.” Paul rolled his eyes and you chuckled. "Maybe in a bit," you peered down at Ceej. "Thank you." You watched as he slept in your arms, and Paul took a seat next to you. "You can socialize, you know," you reminded him.

“I know.” He shrugged, sitting back in the chair. “I’m fine here for the time being.”

His free hand moved to the back of your own chair, his fingers grazing the base of your neck gently. He smiled softly at you as he peered through his dark glasses. He crossed his heel over his knee, and sighed.

“That was a big sigh, Disco.” You looked back at him, a smile mimicking his own on your face.

"I'm just happy, baby," he admitted. "Feels good to be alive."

You scoffed, "yeah, let's broach that when you go back after next week."

At that he frowned a little. “If it’s a problem I’ll take some extra. I don’t have to save it until later in the year.”

"That's well up to you, Paul," you told him. "I gotta learn on my own at some point, right?"

Disco shifted a little, uncrossing his legs as he turned towards you. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

"Nothing, stop it," you shook your head.

He eyed you through his glasses, and although you couldn’t see his eyes you knew they were searching yours. You broke the glance and looked down at CJ.

"I should eat while he's still out. Give your mom and mine a hold for a bit," you stood and resettled the baby. "Want anything?"

“Let me take him, you go get your food. I’ll eat once you have or pop him back in the carrier.”

"No, it's fine, your mom and mine both want their cuddles," you smiled softly. "I'll get some stuff to share."

“Okay.”

He watched as you headed over to where your moms were talking with his mom's best friend and his aunt. The ooh'd and awed over CJ as the proud grandmother's took over baby snuggles from, you, his Sugar. Then you disappeared inside only to return a bit later with a plate of food for both himself and you. "Your dad pulled the first round off the grill. Thought we could eat before he wakes up and screams." “Not as dumb as he looks.” Paul grinned.

“Errr, you look like him, idiot.”

Ignoring your comment, he snorted, "how long before Nick tells him he's doing it wrong?"

"Well, knowing my dad, it's already happened."

Disco looked around and watched as your Dad was, indeed, stood by his at the grill. He chuckled, “I think you might be right.” You smirked, knowing both men all too well. "See, told ya."

Paul grabbed the burger on the plate which you had assembled just the way he liked and took a huge bite. “I’m starving.”

"You? I eat enough for five people."

"Loading up for a completely different reason, honey." Paul glanced down at your engorged chest. He laughed as you playfully swatted his leg. "Whatcha got on there? No onions remember, he hates that."

“It’s not that he hates it, it just seems to give him gas. Which is a pain in the ass as hot dogs with no onions suck.”

Paul snorted, "You seem to like my dog with no onions."

You almost choked on your food as you looked at him. “You’re disgusting, you know that?”

"It's why you love me," he took that final bite of his burger and wiped his hands, washing it down with his beer.

“Believe it or not, giving you a blow job is not the reason I love you.” You smirked as you took a bite of your hot dog. “I do that because I love you. And it stops you being a sex pest.”

"Well honey, when you look like you do all...." he gave an outline of an hour glass, "and the..." he outlined the bigger boobs, "you can't expect me to keep my hands off of you. I couldn't do it before, what makes that any different now?"

You managed a good hour and a half longer of time to yourselves, able to socialize with the long time family and friends that had come to the Diskant's annual 4th of July bash, never taking your eyes off CJ as he sat in both sets of your parents hands, snuggled in and sleeping, being shown off proudly by them or Paul as people said hello. But then, just as you thought about having a beer, that precious baby of yours started crying in his papa's arms.

Seeing your dad with a little panic on his face as the infant fussed was cute, years of being out of practice clearly showing. Paul gently nipped the baby up, rescuing both CJ and your father from terror as his cries for feeding worsened. You sighed and set about getting ready to nurse him, your arms accepting the baby from your husband and popping the first few buttons on your dress before covering up and single handedly holding him while unclasping your bra for access to feed.

Paul kissed your head as you settled CJ to you, the muslin cloth reserving your modesty and you sighed, your finger gently trailing your baby’s cheek.

“Can you get me another water?” You looked at Paul and he nodded.

“Sure, you want anything else?”

“No, that’s fine, thanks babe.”

Paul stood and headed towards the kitchen, pausing to look back at you. He watched as you glanced down at CJ, then around the garden, and to his horror he saw the tears in your eyes. He felt a pang in his heart, for whatever reason he could tell you weren’t comfortable and finding it all a little too much. He grabbed you another sparkling water, tossing in a few cubes of ice and a slice of lime, and as he headed back out his mom was just stepping in off the patio, empty plates in her hands.

"I think we're gonna head out, Mom, when Y/N's through," he said, nodding towards you in the garden.

“Is she okay, sweetie? She seems a little down?”

“Overwhelmed, I think.” Paul wrinkled his nose.

“Oh, I hope it’s nothing I’ve done? I know I’ve been a bit of a show off with Connor, but-“

“No, it’s not.” Paul assured her. “We had a bad night with him last night and then when we had to change him before we came out it threw her. You know she hates being late and disorganised. We’re both still adjusting a little, it’s not you I promise.”

"It'll get easier, baby," Dot's hand rested on his forearm. "We're always here if you need us."

"Thanks, Mom." He sighed, his eyes flicking to you as you switched sides with Ceej as if already a pro at nursing. Your face told him otherwise. "I'm going to get this to her." He held up the water, "but if you got tips in the self-love department, I'd appreciate it. Between you and I, she's struggling there and I'm not helping any apparently, no matter how much I tell her otherwise."

Dot chuckled, “unfortunately that’s something she’s going to have to just accept herself. Just give her time. Her body has changed, she won’t feel like it’s her own, and in truth, it hasn’t been solely hers since you found out she was pregnant. She had to make changes to her diet, her lifestyle, and everyone thinks when you have the baby you suddenly get all that back, but you don’t. She’s nursing him, so still hasn’t to think about everything.”

Paul nodded, "yeah, I get that, I just feel helpless.”

“It’s the baby blues, Paul. It happens to all new moms. Just be there for her and listen to her, support her how you can. And just keep an eye on her. If she starts to feel worse then you can suggest she talks to someone, but I wouldn’t worry too much. Not yet.”

Paul pondered for a moment before he gave a small smile, “thanks, Mom." He kissed her cheek and headed back out to you and CJ.

He set the water down within your reach and smiled back as you smiled at him softly. "We'll head out when you're finished there, Sugar."

You blinked, “are you sure?”

"I told you we wouldn't stay long, it's been long enough. I told my mom and we just have to make our rounds to your parents and my dad." Disco stated as he brought the carrier up to the table in front of you

You looked at him, your eyes welling up. "Okay" you sniffed, "he's just about done."

Paul bent down and kissed your forehead, “Hand him over and I’ll burp him whilst you sort yourself out…”

Just a couple of minutes later, you felt the baby's pull go lax as his teeny little mouth let go, having had his fill. You kept yourself covered while you passed CJ off to Paul. "Thank you," you sniffed, not letting go until Paul had him good.

"You don’t have to thank me, babe. He’s my boy, we’re a team." Paul started rubbing Ceej's back, patting it to bounce the gas out of the tiny boy's belly. He stopped after the first little belch, looking to you as you stood, grabbing your things around you.

"Hey," he said softly, CJ nestled into his shoulder, mouth pressed into his neck. His free hand hooked under your chin, his thumb gently pressed beneath your lip, giving you a soft kiss, his nose bumping yours before going back to patting his son's back for another burp.

Ten minutes later you were on your way home, Paul driving as he insisted he’d only had a few beers so was fine. You fell silent, watching the scenery go by as you drove the familiar route home.

You felt real crappy. Not ill, but down. This wasn’t like you, you loved social gatherings normally and you couldn’t understand why you were feeling the way you were. You had a gorgeous husband, a beautiful baby boy that you’d been so desperate for that you loved beyond belief, a wonderful home… yet, it all just didn’t seem to matter.

“I’m sorry,” you found yourself mumbling as you glanced at Paul.

Paul looked at you as if he was confused, "For what, honey?" He checked in the mirror and then over his shoulder, changing lanes. Then he took your hand from your lap and brought it to his lips.

“For ruining your afternoon and making us leave early.”

"For the record, you did not ruin my afternoon and I told you long before we went that we'd be leaving early." “I know but that was early, early.”

"Sweetheart, you and Connor are my priority and when I saw you with him, upset like you were, it was time to go." “I don’t know what’s wrong.” You sighed, tears filling your eyes. “Mom says it’s baby blues,” Paul soothed you, his hand still wrapped round yours. “This is a big change for us both, and you more than me. Don’t worry about it, I got you. And if it starts getting too much then we can talk to someone, okay?” "Okay," you cried. "I'm sorry." “Baby, stop apologising. It’s fine, it’s not your fault. Cry if you want to, that’s fine, I don’t care. I just want you to talk to me and tell me honestly how you’re feeling” "Okay." You said softly. "I just... Sometimes I can't find the words and I hate this. I'm not a weak person for Christ's sake. I was seven months pregnant and shot a freaking asshole in our own home." “No one is saying you’re weak, baby.” "I feel it," your head dipped down just as Paul was pulling into your drive. Paul took a deep breath and out the car into park, turning to you. “Listen to me, Y/N. You are the strongest person I know. You pulled me though after I got shot, you kept us together and you gave birth to him.” He nodded towards CJ. “I get that you’re feeling a little, well, shitty, but I want you to know that I couldn’t love or admire you anymore if I tried. You’re amazing.” "Thank you." You swallowed. It was hard to hear, never one for self-pity but whatever this was, you felt not of yourself. "Let's get him settled and then you take a bath or a shower, whatever. Then if he's still out, let's see if we can sit on the roof and watch the fireworks. If you don't feel up for that, we'll go to bed.” “No, I’d like to see the fireworks.” You smiled a little, nodding. "I was hoping you'd say that," he winked and got out of the Tahoe. He pulled CJ's carrier out and looked at his son. "Out cold." “He’ll probably wake up the minute we try change him.” “Well then I’ll deal with it, we got bottles you expressed in the fridge. It’s not an issue.” He told you firmly as you unlocked the door. Woody happily greeted you all as if you'd been gone for years, his tail wagging as he sniffed the carrier to make sure the cargo was safe. “Okay, buddy, he’s fine.” Paul chuckled, ruffling the dogs head as he effortlessly carried CJ into the kitchen, placing the carrier on the table. He turned to you, “go on, go get yourself comfy. I’ll let Woody out. Might pop Ceej in the sling and take them both for a little walk.” "Okay," you said softly. "But really he's going to wake up and want to eat, maybe I should wait." “I’ll skip the walk then, and if he wakes I’ll feed him. Like I said, there’s bottles in the fridge unless you really want to and then I’ll bring him up.” "Yeah, okay." You looked at him and he could see the indecisive look on your face. "Shower, Sugar," he coaxed, "one step at a time." “I know, I’m sorry.” You nodded, before you took a deep breath. “Fuck, why is this even an issue? It’s not like I haven’t showered since he was born!” "It's the day, honey. It’s been a little hectic but it’s just a another like the rest," Paul kissed your forehead. He then pulled the baby out if his carrier and snuggled him close.

You watched him for a moment, and then gave yourself a mental kick. Paul was his dad, perfectly capable of looking after CJ. The bottles in the fridge were for this exact reason.

“Okay, I’m gonna take a bath then, I’ll leave you with him.”

“That’s fine. He fed less than an hour ago at moms anyway, he probably won’t wake up until you’re done.”

His soft smile was the assurance he needed to get you going. "Alright, pal, let's get ready for bed, huh? Maybe give me a chance to give your mom a little Disco time.” “I heard that!” "You were supposed to!" He chuckled, heading up behind you. “You’re a nightmare,” you snorted. You cornered off into your room as he headed into Ceej's. Paul led the sleeping babe out on his changing table and grabbed his sleeper from the shelf under it. He changed the delicate boy and managed to do so without a single peep from CJ. “See, I told Mama we’d be okay.” He smiled down, taking in the baby’s features for a moment. His heart swelled, every time he stole a glance at his son. He looked just like him from what he'd seen in his own baby photos. So far his temperament was easy, only really fussed if he needed something and was perfectly content snuggling but also wasn't bothered to be in his infant swing or his sling. “Yeah, we got lucky huh, pal. How long is that gonna last?” He chuckled, picking the baby up and carrying him back downstairs. Paul plucked a bottle bag from the freezer and set it in the warmer, allowing it to begin to thaw for that just in case moment and surely knowing you would need it later. But he also had an ulterior motive in mind, He had hoped to lure you into at least one beer on your rooftop as you hopefully took in the city's multiple displays of fireworks, legal and illegal. He then grabbed the forgotten blanket from the carrier and again trotted back up, finding his footing as if he were in the dark, slowly moving to allow his son to still rest. He walked into the bedroom and set Connor down in the bedside crib before he gently peeked into the bathroom.

“He’s still flat out, babe.” Paul spoke softly as you turned to look at him. “Do you need anything?”

"No, I'm okay. I'll be done in a few." You said softly.

With a shallow nod, Paul closed the door but not before dimming the lights for you, the bathroom still an unfinished project of yours.

Taking his chance, whilst both of you were set for a little while, he headed onto the landing and over to the door that led to the steps which took him up to the roof terrace. Grabbing the seat cushions on the way, he took the steps two at a time and set the cushions on the little L-shaped wicker sofa you kept up there. It wasn’t all that often you used the terrace, preferring the back garden or the small balcony of your room. But some nights the pair of you loved the unobstructed view of the stars.

It was dark enough for him to gauge where the fireworks would be, knowing the city like the back of his hand. Some illegals were shooting off and he smiled, thinking of how nice a night like tonight was going to be. Then with the seating settled, he headed back down and grabbed your ice bucket, grabbing ice from the freezer in the garage and two bottles of beer for you each, stuffing them in the ice and carting that back up to the rooftop.

When he came back down he found you wrapped on a towel, led on your side on the bed, your face soft as you watched CJ sleep.

“Still wanna watch the fireworks?” He asked quietly and you smiled at him and nodded. "Good, c'mon, I've got the monitor, just need you, Sugar." “Let me get my pajamas on and I’ll be right up.” "Okay." He nodded, giving you your space and heading up without you. He made sure to give the pillows one last fluff and waited for you before sitting. You showed up just a handful of minutes after he had, your oversized tee hanging off of your body, your bra strap peeking from off the shoulder. Your sleep shorts being fussed with as you finished your ascent up the steps. "Sorry it's not glamorous looking." You sighed. "My date outfits look a little different these days." Without a word, Paul stepped towards you. His hands cupped your face and he drew you in for a long, deep, slow kiss. “Looks pretty good to me, Sugar.” He whispered, his nose bumping yours. “In fact, I’d go as far to say that I’ve never seen you look more beautiful.” "Thank you, Stud." “Don’t thank me, Sugar. I’m being serious. You’re gorgeous.” That bashful look came over you and you hid your eyes. Again his thumb lifted your chin, "My wife is the most beautiful soul on this planet. A true stunner." “Okay, enough with the flattery.” You laughed and shook your head. “Come on, let’s sit down.” He winked and sat, patting the sofa next to him. You plopped down, and he pulled you close, his arm around your shoulders as you sunk into his side. He handed you a beer from the bucket beside him. "One, that's it. I already have the milk thawing and warming in the warmer in the kitchen,” he coaxed. "Okay, one." He grinned as he twisted off the top and passed it to you. "To you, Mama," he toasted. "Happy 4th of July." “Happy 4th of July, Daddy.” You winked. He hummed, loving it when you called him that. It wasn't a kink, but to hear the word slip from your mouth, knowing that was his new title among his many, it did something to him. As the taste of your first beer in almost a year passed your lips you let out a soft groan of delight. “Oh, now, see that’s done it. I’m gonna drink this and be pissed I can’t have more!” "You can, baby, pump it, dump it and be done" His lips pressed to your temple. You pondered for a moment. You weren’t going to lie, the thought of just being you and Paul for even an hour or so was appealing. You bit your lip and Paul grinned, “there she is! Let me go grab a few more bottles and get some more milk out of the freezer.” "If anything, I'll have too much now," you gave a little ironic chuckle. "This body, it's a never ending battle of confusion, warring with any little change." "You know what to do, we have those test strips Nat gave you," he pressed a kiss to your lips after he stood, "I'll be right back." You watched him go and settled back in the sofa, swinging your legs up onto the chaise. Before long he was back with four more bottles, slotting them into the ice bucket. "Well you're planning for a party," you giggled. "How's Ceej?" “Hardly, sugar, it’s only a few bottles. And he’s fine, still sleeping like a… well, like a baby.” You snorted and sat up, allowing Paul to settle back in his place at your side before you snuggled back into him.

The night sky began erupting in the distance, bursts of color and bangs happening as far as your eyes could see. The two of you both instantly glanced at the baby monitor, but nothing. Connor slept on despite the noise outside, swaddled and content as any baby should be. "Can I tell you a secret?" Paul whispered in your ear. “What?” You sat up and looked at him. "I love watching you with him. The way you just are, the way you move, the way... Fuck, Sugar, call me weird but my favorite are those quiet moments in the middle of the night when we have that one lamp on and he’s just there," he drew a line near your chest, "your body working like magic to give him everything he needs right now." You blinked as Paul carried on. "But then, there are my favorite moments where it's just you. You've just gotten up or stripped down to shower or get dressed, and I look at you. Your beautiful body, the way certain things are thicker, bigger, beautiful. Your scars and marks, the way you still glow because you're my wife and a mother." He bumped his nose against your jaw. "You're still my Sugar, the most badass chick I know who'd kick my ass in a second." “Paul,” you sniffed a little and then took a deep breath. “You know, I love watching you with him too. Your little daddy-CJ moments, when you talk to him and hold him. He looks so small in your arms but I love it.” He grinned as you gave his lips as soft peck. "To be honest, Stud, I find the daddy side of you very, very sexy." "Fuck, I want you so bad, right now, Sugar." You blinked a little, looking into his eyes which were dancing with the colours from the fireworks as the exploded over the sky. Your belly flipped at his words. "Paul...." "Don't worry, I got one," he smirked as he plucked that beer bottle from your hand and set it on the table next to the bucket, his eyes never leaving yours. “Oh, so this was your plan huh?” You arched your brow, “ply me with alcohol and then get me on my back?” “Who says you’re going on your back?” "You want this on top?" You were sceptical. You bit your tongue in suggesting he close his eyes or get the bucket for your head to cover your face.

“Have you listened to a word I just said?” He groaned slightly. “Sugar, I love you, I want you, and right now I’m sporting a boner at the mere thought of you sitting on my dick.”

"I suppose you'd like a little help with that, huh?"

“You suppose right, c’mere, baby.” He pat his thigh.

You sat up and turned your body so that you fell into his lap, straddling those thick thighs. His hands gently smoothed up the outside of your bare thighs, stopping at the hem of your sleep shorts. His nose rubbed against yours before he kissed you. Your hands trailed up that broad chest, middle finger then thumb rubbing along that mark in his neck. He let out a soft groan, against your lips “fuck, I missed this.” "Yeah," you panted as your hips ground down into his lap. There was no belly now to get between you. His lips found yours again, the kiss dirty as his hand cupped the back of your head, the other splaying at the base of your spine. With his hands still there, his lips pried away from your own as he nipped and laved at your jaw then that soft spot at your ear before going down your neck and across your exposed shoulder. A fist full of your hair pulled you in the opposite direction, exposing you neck further. A soft sight of delight slipping from your mouth at his affections. "Be loud, baby, no one's gonna hear you. No one can see us." His words spiked something deep inside you, the heat pooling between your thighs. "Jesus, keep talking." “Fuck, I love it when you get like this.” He groaned, pushing his hips up, his jeans grinding against you through the soft material of your pajamas. “Gonna make you feel good, Sugar.”

You whimpered at his promise. You were already feeling good, you could feel your own fireworks starting to fizz for explosion. "I need you," you whined. “Oh, baby, you got me. Always.” Paul kissed you again, his hands gripping at the bottom of your t-shirt. You held your arms up and he tugged it off, tossing it to the side. His eyes glanced down, taking in the swell of your enlarged breasts and he gave a moan. "Beautiful." He whispered. You reached behind your back and undid the clasp of your bra, the straps falling down your shoulders then your arms. You held the cups against your chest almost sheepishly. “Hey,” Paul’s nose nudged yours, “leave it on if you’re not comfortable,” You looked at him, and then with a deep breath you moved and let the garment fall down onto his lap. “Jesus Christ, Sugar.” He groaned, “look at you.” That arm that was at first against your spine as he kissed you, now splayed fully across your back as his forearm pushed you towards him. His free hand came from your hip to twist his fingers in your hair again, pulling back when he had a good grip. His lips, those soft lips, kissed across your chest, over your sternum and the round upper portion of your perfectly round breasts. And then you felt it, that hot tongue against your left nipple as he pulled the skin in and hollowed out his cheeks. This time, your moan was louder as your hands fisted in his shirt. His hand let go of your hair and trailed down your side to cup that right breast, a slight drip of your milk landing warm on his hand. "So fucking sweet, Sugar," he moaned with his eyes no longer blue. “Fuck, don’t stop.” It was all he needed to hear, and he obliged. His touch and mouth tender yet strong enough, and it wasn’t long before your first orgasm washed over you with such a force you trembled in his lap like a quake. “Atta girl,” he whispered against your mouth as your jaw was slack, your body collapsing forward onto him. You panted loudly against his shoulder, your own hot breath against your face. "Fuck that was...." He chuckled a little, his lips kissing your cheek. “Sugar….” "Yeah..." “I’ve changed my mind, I want you on your back.” You pulled back to look at him as his kissed you, a wicked glint in his eyes. “Wanna take you apart piece by piece.” You whimpered as he moved, shifting his weight and laying you flat on your back against the cushion of the wicker sofa. "I'm gonna go so slow baby, watch you as I fuck you good." His words drew a shudder from you as he pulled your shorts down, before he dispensed off his own clothes, whipping a condom out of his back pocket. You watched him read the foil open and realised you couldn’t actually remember the last time you’d used one. It was certainly back in the early days of your dating. A distant date in your past that now felt like a lifetime ago But there was something so sexy still about the way he used it, taking you back to the first time you were together and you felt that excitement in the same way once again. He rolled it down and looked at you, cocking his head to one side. “What you thinking, baby?” "That first time in my room, our first time. How bad I need you now like I did then." “I was nervous as hell that night,” He smiled a little as he moved, slotting himself between your thighs. Your left leg moved, your foot falling to the tiled surface below you. "So was I. Like tonight." You admitted. “I’ll go slow,” Paul promised, his hands taking his weight as he dropped a kiss to your mouth, “you need me to stop, I’ll stop, okay?” "I just need you, Stud. Please." Your hand gripped at his neck and pulled him down to you for a deep kiss, feeling him shift his hips a little. He slipped that tip in, wetting himself and staying right there, then, slowly, ever so slowly sinking in inch by inch until he was all in. “Fuck,” his voice cracked as he gently lowered himself down, his face pressing into your neck. “You okay?” "Just feels so fucking good," he nipped at you. "Like fuck, I've....." He gently withdrew his hips, before he slowly sank back into you. You felt a slight nip and sting of pain, and before you could stop yourself, you gave a little hiss and a whimper. "Oh, baby, I'm sorry..." “It’s okay,” you shook your head, “just go slow.” "Like this..." his hips drew back very slow and with the balance of all his weight back in his arms and knees, Paul slid slowly back in. “Yeah,” you let your body relax as you took a deep breath, “just like that.” "Yeah, honey," he ground out as he kept up that pace. Any other time, it would have been torture, but not tonight. It was perfect. The combination of deep and slow mixed with the way his tongue dipped and rolled into your mouth as he kept the pace was delightful. Your hands moved over the spanse of his back and his chest. His scar a spot you rested your fingers and rubbed. “Fuck, I love you.” He groaned out his words as his lips crashed back to yours, “my gorgeous, Sugar. My beautiful baby momma.” "Paul...." you whimpered. "Right there," you kissed him. “Fuck, baby, I’m not…” he groaned, and pulled away, the muscles in his neck straining, “I can’t hold much longer.” "I'm so close, so , so close. It's right there." “Come on, sugar. Cum for me, baby.” "Ohhhh yes..." you clenched around his covered cock. The feel against your walls heavenly. With a broken, choked gasp of your name, you felt him still above you, buried deep as he came, his arms trembling as he struggled to support his weight. As gently as he could manage, he lowered himself down on top of you. You felt tearful as his praise bathed you, his lips at your ear, his chest against yours. Your naked skin against his felt nothing short of beautiful as his words sunk in and continued as you came through your now shared orgasm. You took your moment, the pair of you simply basking in the warm night air, and then right on cue, a soft cry came from the monitor which sat on the small table in front of you. You chuckled a little, figuring of course he'd pick now. But it suit you too, this was your life now and you couldn't be more proud of the way it had gone. The day might have started out with the baby blues, but with Paul at your side to see your days end better than how they began, you knew you'd make it through just fine. ******* Before you knew it, the rest of summer had passed you by, along with many firsts for you both as parents. That first smile, which you were the lucky one to receive as a milk drunk CJ lay in your arms, his mouth curling with happiness as you talked to him. His first laugh which came when Woody stuck his cold nose right into his ear one morning as he lay on the rug for his tummy time. That one was Paul’s to witness. His first coo in response to your voice, you were both lucky enough to witness that one day as you took a walk on the beach. And then there was his first roll over, the first time he sat up unaided, the first time he banged his brightly coloured blocked against the little piece of wood he was trying to slot them in, laughing at the noise, and his first eating of solids were all things that you alone saw as you settled into your role as mummy, whilst Paul was at work. Thankfully, the diaper after his first solids fell to him to deal with as CJ appeared to hold it all in right until his dad had walked in from work and swept the baby up for cuddles and giggles. You’d secretly praised him for that later on as you set him down for bed. But now, you were into November. CJ was six months old, teething and his little personality really was starting to shine through. Paul hated missing those little moments, but he had chosen to take the rest of his paternity leave entitlement immediately after the thanksgiving holiday, meaning he would effectively be home from then through your third wedding anniversary in the February, to help your transition back into work for the three days a week you had both agreed on to start with from the middle of January. But for now, he had another five or so days to go. And those five days which stretched before him felt like the longest five days of his life. It has been a long ass shift, overtime and more, Disco and Barnes, now with the department, had been working a murder case for the last week and it was a big one with multiple victims, the situation just gut wrenching. These are the days when being not just a detective, but a cop were hard in general. Paul had his head wrapped up in work all day and was dead tired on his feet as he came home. He knew Ceej wasn't feeling too well the last couple of days but you had given him the nights to sleep as he'd been exhausted, nearly falling asleep over dinner for the last three days. He was grateful for it however he knew you were burdened with a lot. Connor started a fever that went well beyond his typical short teething temp. Then he was congested and his sinuses blocked. This cold had rocked his son well and you were doing everything you could to keep it from settling in his chest and turning to croup. It was no easy task. Sleeping with him upright in his sling and you propped up in Paul's recliner in the den, Hallmark movies and reality crime shows on the television. Woody had even taken to following you and the baby around all day, sleeping by your side with his head on alert the minute your eyes closed. But tonight, as Paul came home, he found you in CJ's nursery, pacing the floor with the half year old crying in your arms. As you paced, your soothing voice was singing softly and humming all you could to settle the baby. He could see the exhaustion in your eyes, the tired frustration in your face. He cared nothing more about being tired in the moment, and all Paul wanted to do was hold his baby boy and give you, his girl, some rest. "Hey," his voice was soft and just barely a whisper. Your eyes looked into his with a tired smile. "Let me get out of these clothes and wash my hands. I'll take him." "He just ate, he's gassy and he still doesn't feel good, his congestion is so bad. I can't get him to burp at all." He kissed you softly. "I'll be right back." He came back so fast you'd barely made it another full round around the room. But Paul was now washed up and in his white tee from under his dress shirt. His slacks and work shoes still on. You looked up and gave him a tired smile as he walked over and gave you another soft kiss and he simply gestured with his arms for you to pass Ceej over to him. “You sure?” You asked. "You’ve pulled a double, you should be relaxing and winding down yourself.” "Sugar, I got all night. Going in late tomorrow." He kissed you again and took over pacing the floor and patting CJ's back and bouncing the crying baby. You snuck away and left him with CJ, Paul knowing you understood he just needed sometime. It took a bit, but eventually the sick baby had calmed enough to belch and just settle sickly in his father's arm. But that meant CJ was wide awake, his mouth open and pressed into Disco right where that scar was. It had become his little thing, CJ finding that particular spot on his daddy's neck to seek comfort and it had choked Paul up from the first time he'd done it just hours old.

"You giving Mommy a hard time, buddy? We can't do that okay, not when I'm working so much, pal. We made a deal, remember? You need to be a good boy so Mommy can rest too. She's going back to work in a couple of months, bud and everything is gonna change again. You'll spend your time with me at first, and then some days with GG and Nana, Grammy and Papa the others, then me and Mom when we're off. So we gotta work it out, Ceej.” Paul heard the precious grunts of his son and then felt the vibration of a good release in his diaper. "Oh bud, let those out. But remember, when you're older, you can't be doing that in front of the ladies. It's not cool." Then Paul looked down at his boy, seeing two bright eyes staring up at him as he nestled his little nose into his neck. His cheek right at that scar that no longer made him numb but made his entire being explode.

“6 months and you’re already up until 3 am...good times buddy. Sleep regression is no joke, huh?”

When it became apparent that CJ wasn’t intending to sleep any time soon, Paul settled for heading to the den where his recliner sat. He sank with a groan into the leather material and began rocking his son in hopes of some shut eye. But that was the last thing he remembered because when the sun started filtering through the French doors from the backyard, he gently woke, the feeling of a weight on his chest and you beaming down at them, your phone in her hand. You simply turned the device around and showed him the most heart-warming thing. CJ nestled against his daddy's neck and held securely by two large hands. He and his boy had fallen asleep together and that made him smile. “What time is it?” “Just after 6. He’ll to eat again soon. Go to bed, Stud and I’ll bring him up, see if he’ll sleep for a little while more.” Paul gently shifted and handed his son over and then stood, cracking his neck. He gave you a quick kiss and you smiled at him, before he headed back up the stairs. Dog tired, he stripped down to his boxers, his clothes laying dumped in a pile on the floor and crawled between the sheets. He didn’t even wake when you came upstairs ten or so minutes later, sitting up in bed besides him whilst your nursed your boy, the soft light of the lamp throwing an amber glow across the dark room, too early yet for the first throws of dawn. Once CJ had fed, it took you another fifteen minutes or so to settle him but then he was out for the count. As he seemed a little brighter in himself, you gently moved to lay him down in the crib to the side of your bed, a soft yet sad smile on your face as you realised his days in there were numbered. Realistically, if you were to return to work in the new year, then he was going to have to get used to sleeping in his own room as you would be in and out at all hours of the day, depending on your shifts. But for now, you pushed that to the back of your mind as you tucked the blankets up around him, your hand gently curling over the lowered side of his crib which lay flush to the side of your own bed. Satisfied he was sleeping, you clicked the light off and turned onto your other side. Your arms wrapped around Paul as you snuggled into his back. And the three of you slept peacefully.

**** Chapter 12

#rock n roll people in a disco world #paul diskant #paul diskant x reader #street kings #street kings fan fic #reader insert #chris evans characters

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syubub · 3 years

Text

BTS cuddle habits

Hi guys! I wanted to have a fun little silly read on what their cuddle habits are! It's cute and light and soft so I thought it might be nice!

Disclaimer: this is entertainment only and not to be taken as fact. This is only my interpretation!

Oki let's begin

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Seokjin

The first thing I thought of when I saw this is that he's not a strong grip cuddle kinda guy

He's more of the "if you're there and need cuddles I'll do it I guess" kinda guy

I think too he's very vigilant and whomever he is cuddling he is very aware of how to maximize the other person's comfort?

Like it almost seems for him, he'd be fine without cuddles

It's just not important to him as much as it is for others

But he knows that some people feel good when they get cuddles

All this to say

He doesn't preticularly seek out cuddles and prefers to be the one doing the cuddling

He knows that it's a way to give others comfort

It's definitely a low energy kinda thing for him too

I think any kinda pseudo cuddle would be preferable

Like, "I'm laying next to you and tapping your head, does that count"

Lol

It's a way to show comfort and to show that he's there for the person.

Definitely takes that time to learn more about why the person might be sad or in need of cuddles

It's a perfect time to talk it out

Definitely platonic cuddles wouldn't faze him at all

10/10

Very comforting

He'd give advice if needed or prompted

Wouldn't particularly tangle himself up with the other person

More like comforting "I'm here for you" back rubs and taps

Playing with hair

Yoongi

STOP

Yoongi no

Okay

He's definitely more cuddly with his s.o than he his with friends

His cuddle style is very balanced

Probably likes to mirror his cuddle buddy

So like, facing each other

Probably holding hands

Also spooning and he'd be down for little spoon or big spoon depending on how he's feeling

Let me get a bit honest here

Cuddling for yoon is like holding the entire world

Sounds dramatic lol

It's a super intimate thing to share personal space like that

Even more than sex for him because the only objective is comfort and holding space for him and his person

Kinda. Intimacy in any form that it takes is really special and intense for him when it regards someone he truly cares for

This is about cuddles and not about how yoongi regards the act of bumping uglies

Platonic cuddles are a little less... wanted for him

Not that he hates it or anything. He just likes his space and would actively search for platonic cuddles often if every (if he knew a more physically affectionate person really needed to be held and comforted he wouldn't mind providing that but its just not something he typically looks for)

Because the thought of sharing such close personal space with someone is quite.. daunting? He feels a bit flustered

This is all heavily focused on yoongi preferring to have his cuddles with the people that he has the utmost respect for and trusts with his life

Definitely most comfortable with a romantic partner though

Definitely would love to have his hair played with and would reciprocate the favor

When things get rough in his head I think he would prefer to be held

Or like

I heard "held together"

Oof yoobi

Overall it's seems to be an act of trust and love and respect and anyone who gets a yoongi cuddle should feel honored

You guys

Just look at this cards

I CANT

Hoseok

Hobi Is definitely an enthusiastic cuddle buddy

Probs prefers to hold the other person

Definitely loves platonic cuddles all the way

Very much physical affection

Also very light and fun and giggly

Like, yoons is a more emotionally heavy feel

But hobis is so light and fun and recharging

It's not the destination

Like its not an event to have cuddles for him

It's almost as natural and fluid as just going in for a hug?

It's a continuation of a hug

Hobi snuggles more than cuddles?

Like any burst of affection he just goes in for a snuggle squeeze

I think as a human his body temperature is just always warm too

Versatile cuddles

Kinda octopus-esque

Can be kinda like a quick little battery charge for him

A good solid hobi cuddle would be like transporting to a new world where there are no worries

Very nice and secure

Would probably like sunshine cuddles or outdoor cuddles (without bugs)

I think sometimes he just likes to share his space with other people

Very warm friendly lovely I love it

Namjoon

Joon

Joo

Soft

Talk about tension release lol

Cuddles for him aren't something he seeks out often but when he does...

It's like taking the cap off of a soda

Definitely a daydream type

Idk why but I think he cuddles himself? Like when he's super stressed

He probably hugs himself

Or maybe he has a weighted blanket?

He definitely has a calm way to sooth himself

But with other people

I think he likes more mellow, soft type cuddles

Definitely a repetitive movement type of person

Like gently tapping/patting or making shapes

I can't tell of he would like that or if that's what he does

Probably drifts to sleep if cuddling for a longer time lol

It's very seren and lovely energy tbh

A sleepy morning type of cuddle would probably help him calmly sort his thoughts and plans for the day

Just time to exist

Platonic cuddles y e s

Like I said, it wouldn't be something that I would see him searching for often at all

But its very helpful for him when he does

This makes me think of one time I went to a park with my friend

we found a nice patch of soft grass and had a nice little cuddle just existing in each others presence and feeling a nice soft breeze bring in the sweet summer smell

It was just kinda like time stopped and I could daydream and look at my priorities without feeling overwhelmed by them??

Like having a person physically with you to anchor you to reality and provide comfort

Idk it's just such a nice lovely type of thing that is really special when those moments come around

Jimin

Definitely loves cuddles

We know this

But this is really sweet

It's very emotionally fulfilling and I think it's an easy way for him to show his love and appreciation for someone

This sounds dumb but I think he physically tries to morph his body to other people?

Like cling film?

It's really cute?

Tbh any kinds of cuddle is a good cuddle for chim

I think physical touch just in general is really important for him

cuddles make him feel loved bc sometimes he needs to be reminded

Definitely will cuddle or be cuddled

With the 8 of wands I think he just kinda goes with the flow really

The ace of cups makes me almost see it as an exchange of energy?

Like swapping good vibes or recharging your good vibes

It's really sweet

I bet he'd be the type to make it a special event on occasion

Like all the blankets and pillows and a movie or book or album or something

And just be comfy

Comfy is the best way to describe this

Comfy

10000% platonic cuddles

No one is spared

(Some are spared)

It's not like he's attached to them or needs them to breath

But physical touch is really important for him

And this is very optimal

I also think he'd be the type to go for drive by cuddles?

The 8 of wands can be a fast card so

Quick cuddles

Little snuggles

V good

10/10

wouldn't mind face to face cuddles at all

THIS ALL JUST FEELS SO WARM AND NICE

like a freshly washed blanket that's all warm and smells nice

Yes

Taehyung

Jesus

It was hard enough trying to interpret normal cards and you throw me this shit??

Here we go

It's definitely a mental resting point to have some good cuddles

Tae can be quite a physical person too so it doesn't suprise me to see

It almost feels solitary?

But not physically obviously

Kinda like joon he really benefits from having a reality anchor

But

He might be physically resting

And his mind is resting too

But??

It's like he fucking Astral projects or some shit

Hear me out

It's like having a safe and comfortable environment being with someone you trust

He just kinda

Lifts up??

Like this might seem like daydreams to him but it's like... the Astral?

Lol definitely unexpected

It's not like this everytime

He benefits from cuddles when he is having a hard time and needs comfort

Also just because it's something that he finds relaxing

But like, let me explain

Death is like letting go of attachments

Four of swords can be like meditation

Wheel of fortune can be like opportunity or destiny?

And like, we all know tae has his angel and stuff

I think maybe his angel or guides or whatever take any opportunity where he is in a good enough state to just... yank him up to them??

THIS SOUNDS DUMB

But think about it

If he's comfortable and in a mental state where this is possible, it would be the perfect opportunity??

Like?

I want to expand on this later maybe

It doesn't exclusively happen when he's cuddling its just a time where his mind is open to it?

Also yes platonic cuddles yes yes yes

Wtf tae?

Jungkook

These are all the cards that came out and all of them are relevant apparently

Firstly let's look at that lovers card and the magician

He's definitely down for a good cuddle and it's a sign of trust for him

Having a nice restful time where he can idly chat with someone probably helps him work through situations in his head

The magician can signify a powerful man...

I think he really enjoys being held and like, holding people tightly

Like it feels more secure like that

Definitely a release of stress and worry

Probably prefers cuddles more in the evening after he's worked hard and done stuff bc then he feels like he's earned the right to relax

Definitely down for platonic cuddles but with people he knows super well

This might sound weird but

I bet if the chance to cuddle arrives and it's not a suprise like "hey come here and cuddle" kinda thing he'd prepare

Like if there was a movie night and he knows it's gonna be nice and comfy he'd probably wear his favorite hoodie or shirt or whatever and pjs or sweatpants or whatever

Whip out the nice body butter

Some good smells

Fresh fabric softener smells

In a 100% not creepy and very platonic way

That sounds sarcastic but its not

Its called self care

Would also be the type to seek out cuddles if he has a bad day

Like the kind to flop down beside someone or put his head in their lap and just non verbally demand cuddles?

Like, have you ever been super frustrated and you just need someone to pet your hair? Or like hold you bc your working out your own shit internally?

Yes

It probably doesn't happen often and not when something really big is bothering him

Just smaller things

Would like repetitive motions/soothing motions

The six of swords make me think soft rocking would put him directly to sleep lol

Kinda like cars too

Very nice very nice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was intresting and I didn't really know what it would be like but I didn't think it would be this lol tae was unexpected

Who are you guys most like? I think I'm maybe part jungkook and part yoongi? I'm not the most touchy feely person with friends but I am a lot more with partners. Jungkookie style cuddles is me when I'm around people that I've know for forever and are really good friends. Pull out good blankets, clothes, candles ect. Anything for optimal comfort. Joon style cuddles definitely sound like the most relaxing thing in the planet and makes me a bit nostalgic

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farmersliga · 3 years

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hottest players for you?

HMM OKAY sorry this took way more time than you probs expected but ive been thinking abt this very hard. disclaimer some of these guys i dont know a lot abt i just found them hot when i watched them so if anyone’s problematic im so sorry skdhdkjd. in no particular order:

(under the cut bc holy fuck this got longer than i expected. i feel like i dissected my own brain and also i think i have too much thirst…….)

robert lewandowski - he has sculpted abs okay im not immune. like every time he pulls off his shirt? after making the hottest goals look easy? hell yes. and also his eyes hi hello let me stare at them forever.

manuel neuer - listen,,,,, he’s tall and blonde and has an ass to die for. his face looks like it was sculpted by the gods. esp schalke manu holy fuck i love him now but back then? he looked like an angel and i want to ruin him, i want to do unspeakable things that will result in his fall from heaven

marco reus - controversial ik but there’s Something about him. i can’t place it. he’s just rly hot at specific angles. like in that one specific gif i did of him with the leather jacket and the styled hair my god

thomas müller - similar to the above, at certain angles my mind goes hmmm hello. also his whole energy is so hot like wow. AND he’s so expressive and when he opens his mouth in frustration? well i think Thoughts

kevin trapp - listen. he’s unreal. like objectively, what the actual fuck.

mats hummels - exactly like the above, with the added bonus of being a pathetic little sexy man

serge gnabry - esp when his hair is fluffy. i just love his cheeks and also the way he has a fashion sense

benjamin pavard - i blame the benjigate of a few weeks ago

benedikt höwedes - when he had hair. sorry im not into bald men SKDHDKDHKD and also the old germany nt vibes are mwah

miroslav klose - speaking of old germany nt vibes,,,,,, this guy was sexy in such a pure kinda way it’s insane. i didn’t always like his hairstyle but when it was done right ugh take me now

kostas tsimikas - i blame the kostasgate of a few weeks ago. and also his tattoos are surprisingly also rly hot (unlike every other goddamn footballer)

virgil van dijk - his face? wow. unreal. and the height mm yes im into it. moreso when he’s wearing jackets v specifically

simon kjær - i miss him and his sexy strong presence. there’s like this one particular gif of him grinning as someone who’s about to help him up strokes his face and it lives rent free in my mind

alvaro morata - im so sorry i don’t know why either but somehow he’s honest to god my type. but only when his hair isn’t too short.

son heung-min - not a spurs fan but i. don’t even know what to say. he’s just hot. if you don’t see it then you are wrong. and also i was hooked ever since i saw that puskas goal.

paulo dybala - i probs know this guy the least out of these names here but god he’s just so so so hot goodbye what a face

james rodriguez - similar attraction as with the above and i also don’t know him v well. his career died but he’s still so hot in a boyish way

xabi alonso - jesus what i’d let this man do to me. he’s just so fucking sexy and the spanish is not helping. and when he puts on a suit? yeah hahahahahaha im unwell

iker casillas - also retired but at the start of my football obsession i started watching stuff on spain’s golden era and he was my first player crush okay i don’t understand either. specifically when he was wearing those short sleeved kits back when long sleeves were the standard for goalies mmm yes

BONUS: olivia mcdaniel - goalkeeper for the ph wnt and god her thighs could crush me. and she wears these short fucking shorts and the way she looks on the ground making saves hhhhhhh im unwell. i’ve been kind of obsessed for the past month tbh (shoutout to sami for listening to my gay af rambles)

i may have forgotten someone but this is already so long so. well.

aaaaand special mention to all the other players whom ive thirsted for on this blog but aren’t on this list bc my attraction is such a fickle thing that is easily influenced by particularly good photos of them <3 and sometimes ppl are objectively hot and look good and all but just aren’t my type rly

#god this is long whats wrong with me #I DIDNT EXPECT THIS OKAY #i didnt even put the most cursed ones here #like yeah some of these are probs slightly questionable #but i tried to keep this one as legit as possible #thank you for asking anon i think i went thru several crises thruout the making this list #of*#asks #anon

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anunvalidcritic · 3 years

Text

INVINCIBLE: S1-EP1

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

So I was on my Prime Video account, and I saw that there was a new animated superhero. As I watched the teaser I thought, “Man, I gotta do better at seeing new shows.” So I watched it and JESUS CHXST SOOOO MUCH HAPPENED IN THE FIRST EPISODE!!!

IT’S ABOUT TIME

The way this show started really threw me for a loop because it fully invested me in this conversation about STEVE’s step son MATT...

“I’m supposed to learn to tuck and roll away from a guy who can shoot laser out of his eyes, or control minds, or kick a goddamn school bus to the moon?” -

He’s got a point...

MATT had it rough y’all...

Don’t start cryin’ STEVE... not at work

The art style kinda reminds me of the BOONDOCKS

STEVE don’t start stumblin’ on your words now..

WAR WOMAN slapped him with that weapon like nothin’

RED RUSH + Zoomin’ to Fast = Vomit

He didn’t have to throw that civilian by the head like that ROFL

I won’t lie... as soon as I saw this man I immediately thought... “Black Batman”... I am ashamed

They are really fuckin’ up the WHITE HOUSE... I wonder how the taxpayers feel about this??

We appreciate the diversity in in any show!

Ahh high school drama... gotta love it....

LMAO ANDREW is into mustaches

TODD has such a dicky name... I feel bad for the dudes named Todd.

Ahh come on, MARK! Your dad is OMNI-MAN, and he didn’t teach you to block a hit like that??

AMBER comin’ in clutch with the kick to the balls

BUGER MART = BURGER KING

I really hope those trash bags don’t bust open on him...

...well damn...

OMNI-MAN is not lookin’ excited about him getting his powers. I think we can all agree that there’s a little more to their powers...

CAAANNNNAAAADDDDAAAAA

Dude, don’t psych yourself out, just do it!

He practically floated into the stratosphere and hit that ground like nothing

TRAINING W/ OMNI-MAN

My mouth was a bit ajar listening to the pee analogy

“Try to hit me.” - OMNI-MAN

Now you know damn well he can’t hit you...

BRO HE DIDN’T HAVE TO ROCK HIS SON’S SHIT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!

“I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.” - OMNI-MAN

dude your face says otherwise

Something is off with OMNI-MAN...

I would’ve slammed the door as well... if I lived in the same household as him ROFL

Alright, so now it’s confirmed that ANDREW doesn’t know that OMNI-MAN is MARK’s father. I thought he might of because of the whole mustache comment but that is not the case lol.

If a guy is telling you to repeatedly him and he slowly becomes numb to it then you should probably start walking TF AWAY

Look at all that property damage....

“What about Ass Kicker? No... that sounds willful childish.” - MARK

MARK your dad is on a different level... don’t have him rock yo shit again..

I’m not vibing with the orange outfit...

“Make me.” - MARK

I could never and I MEAN NEVER say some shit like that to my mom, superhero or NOT

“I’m nothing like Dad. I’m more like you. I’m nothing special.” - MARK

Well, fuck you too MARK fuck... you...too

I like how they’re just playing catch in the middle of the sky above their neighborhood like it’s nothing.

That ball is going all the way around the world like a fuckin’ merry-go-round!

He is now...INVINCIBLE

Great solo flying sequence

“You guys think your biting off a little more than you can chew? That building has a whole in it, look!” - KILL CANNON

I liked how he asked if it was all clear after he punched him through the building.

RED RUSH + CONVERSATION = BORDEM

lol dude is the prime video version of Marvel’s Vulture

So everybody’s gettin’ called to the base... is there an invasion going on??

DARK WING has some cool tech!

Alright, everybody’s accounted for... who called the team meeting if it wasn’t any of th

NO NOT RED RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!

“Why have you done this?” - THE IMMORTAL

yeah I wanna know tooo!

ofc the one with no powers gets fuckin’ DEMOLISHED in a heartbeat!

GREEN GHOST did not have to go out like that!

ICONIC DIALOGUE

AQUARUS - “Are you alright?!”

MARTIAN MAN - “I live.”

BRO WAR WOMAN & THE IMMORTAL ARE GOIN’ IN!!!! I MEAN THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT TO BUCKY AND CAP TAG TEAMIN’ IRON MAN!!

WHAT EH FUCK JUST HAPPENED!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! OMNI-MAN HAS LOST HIS FUCKING MIND!!!!!!!!

.... at least WAR WOMAN got her neck snapped...

SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME THAT SHIT WAS UST A DREAM!?!?

nah that was real because he looked a little to tired from that dead

______

THIS SERIES IS ALREADY FUCKING AMAZING! My God, I’m already excited for a season two LOL. Let’s get to episode two, shall we? Just remember that everyone’s a critic when their opinion matters the least.

List of Episodes with link :) ~

EP1 - EP2 - EP3 - EP4 - EP5 - EP6 - EP7 - EP8

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transsexualhamlet · 4 years

Text

the many sins of tokyo ghoul :re

or: 13 reasons why :re is fucking terrible not clickbait

Disclaimer: I think no matter how long this post gets I’m missing something, so let’s just outline the worst ones. And I mean to be transparent, the only reason I actually read :re was so I could make this post... (and bc i wanted to see the what, five panels of hide) Well, I couldn’t stand hating it without evidence beyond hearsay and General Vibes. But I knew it was gonna be bad, I knew it was going to ruin me jesus christ. Obviously I’m not hating on people that like it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with genuinely enjoying it (I do genuinely enjoy parts of it, and by parts i mean chapters 1-50 with exceptions and 75) I think it’s wonderful if you can derive joy from it (lmao) but I can say that through my lens in life, there’s so much fucking wrong with this goddamn fucking piece of shit manga and I feel the need to yell about it because i am ✨autism✨ so let’s get going (this is r e a l l y long just a warning)

tl;dr Ishida stay in your fucking lane

1. Transphobia and Homophobia:

alright here we are first off with the big one and if I had to choose, one of Ishida’s greatest sins here. It’s quite unusual in mangas like these to have any sort of representation for such things in and of itself, and yeah of course that annoys me, but having no represntation at all is like so much better than getting actively harmful representation. Most manga that aren’t specifically about those things shy away from those topics, and it’s tiring but it’s normal. You wouldn’t want a mangaka to try to write about something like that without experience or informed opinions. So I say if you can’t write something correct, just don’t write something like that in at all. Ishida clearly,,, does not get this.

And it’s not just the case of Mutsuki, who, well, gets it bad enough, there are three full fucking trans characters Ishida made like, just to shit on.

Big Madame- god, made like that specifically to perpetuate the predatory trans woman trope jesus christ is Ishida friends with JK fuckface Rowling. Ah yes the ugly, human trafficking, predatory, pedophilic killer that tried to make their male child more feminine? Has a dick. Really? Could you be a single bit more transparent about your fucking agenda here? I really don’t have to say much here.

Kanae von Fuckwald- Technically Ishida says here that basically this bitch was just like??? Pretending to be a guy for years just to what?? I don’t even know?? Get together with Tsukiyama? Cause he’s fucking gay or something? I don’t even get it but like i read this post yesterday and that’s a whole ass thermian argument. It’s like “oh well this is fine because well this person’s not actually trans and therefore the representation thing doesn’t apply”... it’s useless. You created the character that way and you made it intentionally to for whatever way promote this idea that people would “pretend” to be a different gender and that eventually they’ll realize that it’s a “lie” and they never really wanted it. This is what you’re saying about the real people who are,,, actually trans? Jesus christ. Also thinking that a twink like that would be trans? God yeah trans guys can be feminine but buddy that’s clearly not what you’re going for here.

And of course, Mutsuki- There’s just... so much wrong here. I mean like. Before we even get into anything about his character and what they did to him let me just discuss his entire design. Buddy like if you had to choose one person in that show to be trans that’s the least likely one. Ah yes, the feminine one. With the androgynous haircut and the shy disposition and the physical weakness compared to the others. God that’s like, a fujoshi’s take on ao3 of what character should be trans. As much as yeah of course, trans guys can be feminine, they are in no way obligated to be such and you shouldn’t make them more so to be more “believably” so. Ask any actual trans person ever. A character like that is just perpetuating the notion of trans guys being inherently more feminine or trying to pretend to be otherwise.ThEn, of course, there’s the ridiculous sexualization, infantilization and fetishization of this character, going through a thousand plot hurdles to make him constantly stripped, put in girls clothing, chased by perverts, assaulted, ET FUCKING CETERA. Give him a fUCKING BREAK. Creating this character the way he’s portrayed in canon (including so called backstory of murdering parents because of sexual and physical abuse) is perpetuating a notion that someone would be a trans guy because of internalized misogyny and/or trauma instead of because they’re just... a guy. It’s just it’s just it’s just Really bad. Plus taking his character, demonizing him and making him like, supposedly love haise (which i Really hate for a thousand reasons, god that’s like, a parent and child type relationship they have there not romantic,,, god,,,) try to like fucking murder touka and stop seeing sense, and then just... return him to being infantalized. God. Jesus christ fucking goddamn it I love Mutsuki and he deserves better.

Oh yeah and then the homophobia, this one’s smaller because... most of the trans people are here to go “it’s gay... wait it’s not Really gay so it’s ok” but I would like to leave a small note here for all the gay characters who got thrown under the bus not just in re but in the original, like, you know, Nico and shit? I really do not know shit about Nico but all the things about Jason? God if I had a thing for one person that you shouldn’t try to portray as representation it’s Jason. IDK what’s up with him and Naki but god it wasn’t healthy. (i’d like to say here that i love naki and i think naki deserves the world but honey there are better heroes than yamori) Anyway yeah I think that’s also bullshit and Ishida should stay in his fucking lane. (or her i guess, i just feel like it’s probably a guy bc of just... so much sexism)

Ok, now that we have the big one out of the way-

2. The mishandling of portrayals of various mental illnesses:

I’m not an expert on this one like I can say about the gays TM but just like in general, the whole manga’s very messy and portrays a lot of gritty stuff, and Ishida clearly attempts to throw in some mental illness for fun, but god fUcking damn it they’re bad. I couldn’t really even give you examples bc it’s pretty widespread and i’m stupid, but it was really like trump throwing paper towels “and you get a demonization, and you get an infantalization, and you get a butchered character, and you get a fetishization-”

3. Ishida having no fucking clue how science works

This particular factoid led me to have a very hard time reading this manga because it went from being about like, yknow, torture and fights and crying and stuff to weird experimentation bullshit and mutated whatever and everyone’s a hybrid now I guess. When I heard this thing about the quinxes, I thought that made no sense, because I was like “yeah but wait,,, how tf does that work didn’t Ishida say earlier that kagune literally were fueled by human meat isn’t that like the entire point the ccg is against?” and then Ishida’s explanation of how they’re not just exactly like Kaneki is that “oh yeah well there’s like, metal around it, so it’s different.” OH YEAH OK THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW, THANKS.

The thing is... there’s no way of actually regulating that. You couldn’t move a kagune unless it was attached to your cells, and if it’s attached man, it’s attached and it’s part of you. Also yelling “frame two” won’t like make it any bigger lmao, either you’re gonna have it based on theoretical science in this universe or you’re going to have a dumb supernatural magic pokemon fight deal. The whole thing makes no sense. The science issue isn’t just about this either, it’s also about how the entire thing basically undermines the point of the whole story. When you blur the lines between human and ghoul with little to no real rules or basis in real science, every rule kind of just becomes cheap plot convenience.

So the Quinxes can eat human food unless they use their kagune too much, alright, but Kaneki couldn’t eat human food before he’d even ever used his though the only difference between their bodies was this,,, theoretical metal thing?? And Haise... was never really covered, before he went black hair emo bastard and like vored Eto, did he eat human food like the rest of the CCG? He certainly cooked it. And the squad that lived with him wasn’t aware he was a ghoul until he pulled out the kagune. So I’d assume so, but then how could he have a kagune, how could he survive when his body still was like that?

Is it the RC suppressents? Then couldn’t he just have taken those and lived as a human the entire time? Is that all he fucking needed, is that the only difference between human and ghoul? It doesn’t make sense and the rules are bent so much they don’t function anymore. Ishida like write down your rules somewhere even if they’re bullshit, they shouldn’t contradict each other.

Damn man I’m not even going to go into the dumbass rules of the half humans or the special fast aging thing or the fucking,,, folded up cells deal,,, or the Imagination Kagune, or the fucking,,, Dragon, or the zombie ghoul apocalypse or the “whole new species made of just kagune” i don’t even have the time it is fucking ridiculous and I can’t even with it. Physics. Laws of physics. If not biology, at least follow physics Ishida??? Please???? And if you’re not you need to do that consistently??

4. character glow ups actually being character glow downs

(with the exception of nishiki, he baby now, and akira, i think her development was valid af)

God, this one gets me every time. Touka was cool. Touka was fucking badass, she had a complex character with many motivations and wants, and in the original having her eventually kind of soften bc of Kaneki is valid. But taking her and turning her into like literally nothing but Pretty Housewife Yearning For Husband At War? God, kill me. She’s a strong person. She can like Kaneki without the guy being her only character trait. Also uh, Touka and Kaneki being a couple was valid before this change, now I honestly can’t stomach it. Like they were the kind of “both bisexual” m/f couple that we stan. No longer I guess.

She’s the most egregious example, but I’d also like to point out Juuzou, not everything they changed about him is bad, honestly we fucking stan his knife legs, but he’s kind of like a rip off L now? You got rid of his ~unhinged~, we do not stan. I’m on the fence about him bc i think that kind of is a valid transition to adulthood and I guess he’s grown up, but again, why change his fucking hair color? What is the explanation for this?

Also Hinami. I mean, I don’t really care about her a lot in general, but it’s weird to see her as like an adult when Ayato emo boy looks like exactly the fucking same and they’re like,,, supposedly the same age.

There are definitely more I’m missing here. Honestly, Hide was valid. God him with his fucking burlap sack. With a fucking lenny face on it. I can’t with him. That’s so Hide. But there were some bad ones.

5. one hair color change was my limit, enough said

black white black and white black white more white god bitch get some variety

6. Showing me great new characters and then promptly ruining them

And you can tell this one’s about quinx squad, my favorite bastard children. God, I love them. They’re the only good things about Re other than Hide and Haise and like everything else, Ishida took them and went “what if i *guts*” god why. I love these kids with all my heart. Why. Why. Why did you do that to Mutsuki. Why as soon as Haise isn’t in the room they all get themselves tangled up with pedos. Why they gotta break up the squad. Why make all of them lose all the wholesomeness and lessons they learned from Haise. Why do you ruin them all with weird unreciprocated random crushes on each other when they’re like basically siblings. Why fuckinG KILL SHIRAZU HE IS THE APPOINTED CHIEF DUMBASS OF THE SQUAD WHY HIM. WHY. WITH SO LITTLE IMPACT. YOU COULD FUCKING MISS IT SO EASILY. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. AND KANEKI JUST FUCKING ABANDONS THEM BC HE HAS HIS MEMORIES AGAIN N O ? NO ACTUALLY NO.

7. the casual racism and sexism :)

i just :) can you stop having girls constantly bring themselves down for being female :) and making them be oversexualized, less full characters :) always in some way connected to a guy :) more weak and hurt more often :) my fucking god :) also yeah it’s way less prevalent but there were a few racist caricatures thrown in there for taste if you don’t know how to draw lips just don’t

8. Ishida being too much of a pissbaby for a real death scene

Basically: undermining the impact of “deaths” fom the first series while also randomly and badly killing off new characters. Oh that character that died in the original in a really cinematic way that made you cry and think about the meaning of life and how beautifully tragic this story was? Oh lol they’re not Actually dead. (x10) Doing that with Hide (at least in the manga, not the anime, god root A really did it with him but we’re not talking about that) was valid, seeing as I love him your honor and in the manga one of the lessons that his character hinges on was like in chapter 75 to live on instead of giving up even if it hurts and all that... (this is obviously kind of the opposite from root A where his character was like more about sacrificing for kaneki since kaneki had already done so much, i think both are valid but we’re Talking About The Manga) he was done well. That was right (even though i think they should have done More of it) but there were so many characters this kind of thing was done to without the proper adjustment in the handling of the messages given here.

Like with Koma and Irimi, who,,, honestly should have stayed dead because their entire character arc kinda ended there and showed how they were sorry for their actions and this was how they were making it up. And then they just like... come back. And fight more. Really? This wasn’t the only instance either, same deal with Shinohara (though him coming back made me cry) it like, kind of undermines it if you’re going to have Juuzou derive his character development from that. Either Juuzou gets to keep his unhinged and his dad, or he loses his dad for real and he also grows up. God guys choose. What’s the message you’re playing here. (at least they kept Yoshimura dead, his death made me cry and I would have stabbed something if it wasn’t real, probably Ishida.) And even with Kaneki himself, god, if he can’t die from being stabbed straight through the fucking eye, what COULD kill him? It really diminishes the anxiety you feel about “omg is this person gonna die i want them to be ok” if they basically evade the laws of physics and their own previous character arcs 70 times. I’m definitely forgetting more of the same, Ishida can’t write a good death, he needed the anime writers to do it for him.

9. Kaneki. Just. Kaneki.

God they fucking butchered this man. I could go on about his character is weird and confusing in the manga from the beginning, but we’re focusing on mostly all his weird :re character development, the bad handling of Haise and his memories, and all his iterations.

Before I read :re, what I could glean from fanart and the occasional fic that wasn’t tagged properly was really confusing and kind of a mixed bag. I knew Haise was Kaneki but without his memories, now in the ccg trying to be a pacifist and going :DDDDD a lot yknow. And what I came up with in my own mind for that change was a deal of (this makes more sense with the anime canon tbh, the manga honestly doesn’t do any of this well) like Kaneki after The Shit Went Down With Hide (whichever canon you’d like to interpret that as) he basically realized that he really couldn’t be a ghoul, he didn’t want to be, he didn’t want to hurt people and he wanted to be happy and make other people happy instead of what he thought was right before (trying to fight to protect others on his own etc) because that mentality had gotten people he loved hurt, and well subconsciously I guess that kind of factored into his development into Haise and maybe caused his memory loss (along with the, yknow, shanked eye.) So when I started to read it that kind of checked out, this is what he’s trying so hard to be now. But then this whole bullshit of the whole other like, 37 different versions of kaneki complicated things.

Haise was scared that when he got his memories back he would cease to be, well, Haise, and he would just like revert back to what he was before everything. Which I can understand him being scared of and I think was a good point in the plot for him to worry about that, but I was like “oh honey don’t worry that’s not how it works” and was kind of vying for him to eventually get his memories back, come to terms with the fact that those were his memories, he did do those things, he was half a ghoul, and maybe come back to his original fight of wanting to bring the humans and ghouls together, still caring about his human people in the ccg and all. That development was real, and it wouldn’t just go away if he got his memories back, he learned a lot and grew a lot and he has a different outlook on life now. Right?

Fucking wrong I guess. Dude gets his memories back (very ambiguously, it was really hard to tell when that even happened tbh) and like. Turns into a flaming ass looking like ebony darkness dementia raven way. Haise gone. Fucking completely. No trace left. Doesn’t care about his kids anymore. When he’s done with that and goes white again he’s just Kaneki again and there’s really not enough left of things that like, really wouldn’t go away? He loses the flair? The dumbass? The :D? The Extra? WHY? Why would those things go away? Haise shouldn’t have been right that he would disappear when he got back his memories. That killed me. I love Kaneki and all but H a i s e. He is my b o y. H i m. With his e n e r g y s h o r t s. And his m o m. And his c o o k i n g. And his k i d s, I l o v e him. And Ishida doesn’t seem to realize that they’re... literally the same person. Haise isn’t just some stupid bastard occupying Kaneki’s body, he’s a valid part of Kaneki himself and to be honest, peak Kaneki. Should have stayed that way. Would have been great for Hide tbh. Not just having him pretty much revert to his old self, but basically respond equally to both names and balance the world between human and ghoul. I would have loved that. What happened for real? It doesn’t make sense and it breaks my heart.

Some people on the interwebz try to kind of even that whole deal out by trying to say he like, has DID, which although is obviously a valid thing, like, so does not apply to him. God I’m like so not an expert on this but I feel like it’s not that hard to tell. His 87 little Kanekis in his head aren’t separate personas, they’re metaphorical representations of his past morals, experiences, and ideologies that all conflict. Again Haise here is peak conflict because when he gets his memories back, he has all these different conflicting ideas that were all previously separate. They’re all him. Tortured Kaneki constantly yelling at him in Jason’s chamber is basically again, a metaphor for how he’s denying his ghoulhood and the trauma that he’s been dealt. It’s not that this dude still exists just the way he is ready to show up at any moment lmao. Ishida kind of dealt with that badly too because Haise really said

after his memories happened so I can see why people might, but it’s... not right, and it’s Ishida’s fault about that which is Incorrect

Also just blanket statement, black reaper Kaneki? Fuck him and all he stands for. 0% valid. I can excuse literally every other version of him. But wh y. God he leaves the room and Urie starts misusing his power and getting groomed by a pedo, Saiko is just, left behind and sad, Mutsuki gets captured by a perv and mentally destroyed again, Shirazu dies and the bitch is like like “lol it’s your fault” yeah helpful, die

10. P- the- the porn chapter-

Idk about you but that was so fucking unecessary??? Not even going off of how terribly awkward and weird it was to have it there when the opening was “i’m sad about my best friend who’s gonna get executed what do you do when you’re sad about your best friend” “i simply do not think of him or i might actually just curl up and die” “yo lmao same” “wanna fuck” Like ok um I’m biased bc i’m not straight but I like, really hated that. Even just flipping through the pages as fast as I could to get to the end of it like. God. It’s not a fucking hentai. I’m here for the plot. If you’re not gonna release the director’s cut of kaneki fucking voring hide, i don’t think i need to see 20 pages of straight fucking sex. And if you absolutely must have porn, kaneki is a fucking bottom. That man gets pegged do not try to prove otherwise. You started it out that way god I love how they’re like “oh god wait that looks kind of gay, the woman being dominant, better stop that right now” god Ishida not having a single iota of knowlege about his own characters aND THEN SHE GETS PREGNANT? NO. Excuse me. No. I just. I. Why. This isn’t. A fucking porno. This isn’t tentacle porn i swear oh my god kill me

11. Giving the wrong characters attention

Basically, redeeming characters that should have been redeemed and not going into/discussing characters that should have been redeemed/had more backstory. For example, Tsukiyama can go fucking die. I like, do not even care rich boy. I don’t understand how anyone could think he needed to be redeemed he’s just a gay attention whore who really needs to let this kid get on with his merry fucking life. I don’t care. I literally did not need to read three whole books about his dumbass hangup over eating Kaneki. Kaneki doesn’t fucking want you bitch move on. He didn’t need to be redeemed or seen to be in any way sympathetic, no one wanted it. Same with that bitch ass Furuta, he wasn’t really redeemed but he was given w a y too much time to play out his sob story. God man Rize doesn’t fucking want you. These gross ass simps. I swear.

On the other hand, I kind of liked Eto even though she’s a pile of shit, and I got mad when they didn’t really go into much about her. And you know who could have gotten much more screen time/development? TOUKA. God, I love her and she was just sitting around in the background being straight. Let her have some spicy development. Also obviously, Hide. He was... so underappreciated and underexplained? What happened with him? He didn’t just pick himself off the ground in the sewers and go ‘well i’d better get back to the ccg now’ we have a whole two years which are completely unexplained, most of which he was off mysteriously being involved in things but completely missing the eye of Haise and other major players. Where tf was he? How did he get around? What was he even doing??? I wanna know about that! Not all the characters I hate’s tragic backstories that make me feel 0% more sympathetic towards them :)

12. ARE WE ALL JUST GONNA COLLECTIVELY IGNORE THE WHOLE VORE THING???

Ok like i know i say “the entire reason I read :re was __” but like to be honest this was the turning point, I saw pictures of hide’s vore face and went like

So I was like “god fucking damn it ok, Ishida would you care to explain this to me” *cracks open re*

And then they DIDN’T.

Like. It’s actually laughable how much that entire situation was just glossed over. They gave that maybe like two pages. Like what. I. This manga has more sex scene than no homoing that. They just don’t even bother to. I feel like Ishida had that as a plot point but realized halfway in how it looked (i.e., really fucking gay) and decided that was something that he was just gonna, not deal with. Just act like that’s a completely normal heterosexual bro thing to do. Like of course anywhere would be pretty gay but Kaneki chose his face. His face. Like his face and his wholeass neck and his shoulders and nowhere else. (and assumedly like, his tongue, seeing as how the dude can’t talk... bruh) Dude really said extreme hickey. French kiss to the max. Ishida clearly did realize that generally, you can only get a bitten off face by,,, having your face bitten off, which is just inherently really fucking gay. Like, I’m just at a loss as to how it even makes sense. You wouldn’t think that the skin off his face, and specifically around his mouth, would really be the most nutritious thing to consume? I can get like the shoulders but generally you’d think something like his arm or leg would be 1.less inconvenient, and 2.much more logical and nutritious? But NO, Kaneki was like “you know what i’m gonna do? eat your Face” and hide’s like “lmao sounds cool”

(not to mention, wasn’t there another guy with a vore face somewhere? like that old guy in the ccg with the bigass turtleneck, i wanna know about him) But like... my bro Ishida went “yeah this happened but i’m going to cover it up with speech bubbles and the ends of panels guys they clearly had their socks on” Dude didn’t even TRY to explain otherwise. Like hey man, that’s pretty damn gay, you are kind of at liberty to either tell me why otherwise, or accept those implications and acknowledge them?? It’s really hilarious when you ignore it cause it’s like

kind of

pretty damn

WEAK of you to leave it at that fucking pissbaby

hmmmmmmmmm however could this happen i guess we’ll never know

13. What the fuck was even the plot omg

God I’ve been writing this post for like five hours so like, I’ll keep it short but like it made sense in the original, not to be like an anime fan but the anime made fucking sense (not re i mean like the original) this lore is so fucking stupid god, the horrors of the entire fucking dragon arc bleach my eyes, unresolved plotlines who???? (the whole ‘oh yeah also ur dying of old age’ thing etc, is kaneki like??? still doing that?? or was that randomly resolved with the whole spewing ovary bullshit i’m going to fucking kill myself) and to top it off, good job Ishida at a real fucking cheap ending.

You gave them. Fake human. Really? They just come up with artificial human at the end. Kind of undermines the entire fucking story my guy. Ah yes throw out our whole plot. That was the whole tragedy. You gotta eat human. The ghouls have to eat human and that’s tragic bc they have to kill people or whatever. Or i guess they fucking don’t well fucking ok. God you could have just had them negotiate a kind of peace where the ghouls can get dead humans and such, there are plenty of them and no one has to kill anyone then, there could be a rule system for it, it would be messy but eventually everyone would be ok with it, and I think that would work a lot better than “quick fix i made some hamburger helper human you can eat it fine” guys wtf. It’s like Ishida started plotting out the ending for re approximately 2 hours before his deadline. Anyway yes I hate re and I love yelling about it thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re #essay post #god just fucking kill me #rowan's hyperfixation essays

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honeymoonjin · 5 years

Text

A/N: my dearest @holyfluffly here is your uno reverse return valentine’s gift!! i hope you like it <3 and also disclaimer to anyone reading, i’m entirely unqualified to be writing about children so if i mess up basic facts i apologise (and also please give @hobisbeautifulass ur love for making this cute banner uwu our fav dads o.o)

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: yoongi x reader ft. ot7 || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.3k

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: dads!yoongi and namjoon, yoongi’s sons!hobi, jin, and tae, namjoon’s sons!jimin and jungkook

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: absolutely none this is the softest thing i’ve ever written

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: shortly before christmas, you entertain family friend namjoon and his two kids for what you hope to be a quiet afternoon in. with five kids between you, that’s a pipe dream.

“Cup of coffee?” you ask automatically the moment greetings are done, the fading squeal of excited children still echoing down the hallway.

Namjoon flicks you a grateful smile, then his eyes dip to the sleeping body koala-hugging your torso. “Ah, thanks, but I can get it.”

Yoongi hums from you, running a hand over your free shoulder soothingly. “He can get it, love,” he confirms, “he practically lives here these days.”

“Hey!” Namjoon defends, already kicking his shoes off and hustling over to the kitchen, “you invite me here, you know!”

Yoongi’s hand slips down your bare arm and locks in with your fingers, gently guiding the two of you to follow after Namjoon. “Well, we aren’t visiting your pigsty, Joon.”

“See how he bullies me?” Namjoon questions you, ignoring his friend even as he stands directly beside you. His face changes then, eyes catching on something at the height of your waist. “Jungkookie? Why haven’t you gone to play with the others?”

You glance down in surprise at the tiny figure that has his stubby fingers curled on the edge of the bench, head only visible from the tuft of glossy black hair. Being acknowledged, he tips his head back in surprise, eyes and mouth in shocked ‘o’s. With a fond smile, you adjust the sleeping infant in your arms and reach out a hand to ruffle those silky locks, making him scrunch his nose. “Ah, Jungkookie, are you coming to talk with the Big Kids huh?”

The three-year-old doesn’t seem to notice your question. Head cranked way back to look up, he has eyes only for your smallest one. “Is baby Jinnie sleeping?” he whispers, even though the three adults in the room have been talking at a normal voice this whole time.

You nod softly, letting Yoongi and Namjoon pick up bemused conversation again as you slowly squat down to Jungkook’s level. Namjoon always insisted he wanted to come around to socialize, but you knew one of the real reasons was that Jungkook apparently wouldn’t stop talking about Jin, to the point where you’d regularly get FaceTimes from Namjoon in the evenings that led inevitably to Jungkook pressing his face too close to the screen to get a good look as you put the ten-month-old to sleep, whispering a good night message in the sweetest voice. Yes, Jungkook had definitely taken a liking to your youngest, and it didn’t surprise you one bit to see him hanging around.

The familiar weight in your arms shifts a bit, face pressed into the crook of your neck. Jinnie was at the age where he was cuddlier than ever, and even just the motion of crouching down made his fists tighten around handfuls of your shirt. “He should be due for a feed soon, would you wanna help me?”

Jungkook gasps, stumbling forward before he halts himself, eyes on you with uncertainty. “Really?” You nod. “Really really?”

With a laugh that jostles Jin slightly, you nod again. “Really really. Besides, he’s getting heavy now! He’s growing so fast, isn’t he?”

With a mouth still dangling open in wonder, Jungkook nods, hands unconsciously finding their way to grab at your knees, shuffling closer and closer. “You’re getting so big, baby Seokjinnie,” he whispers, lisp creeping out when he talks to the sleeping infant. He receives a little snuffle of acknowledgement from Jin, the wet click of his mouth as he suckles on his thumb. Jungkook’s face lights up in a wide smile

From above, your husband brings your attention back, noisily clinking mugs together as he cradles three of them in his hands, waddling carefully around the kitchen bench towards the lounge. Namjoon totters along happily behind him, hands empty. The three of you had learned it was generally safer that way.

“Come on, love, let’s sit on the couch,” Yoongi instructs, resting the steaming mugs on the coffee table for the split second it takes him to retrieve wooden coasters and place them safely underneath each one. “I just made you a herbal tea.”

You straighten up, grinning at the look of loss on Jungkook’s face as Jin is once again lifted from reach. “Thanks, hon. Jungkookie; how about you go get the others and bring them out here? I’ve got some pizza in the oven for lunch.”

Eyes widening in joy comically, the three-year-old rushes on stubby legs down the hallway, in his little stonewashed jeans and Cars 2 sweater, disappearing around the corner.

“That got rid of him,” Namjoon chuckles, cradling a cup of coffee so black it gleams like oil. “I swear that kid is addicted to two things; pizza and other people’s babies.”

Gingerly collapsing onto the sofa, tucked under Yoongi’s arm, you hum, patting Jin’s warm back as he tightens his grip on you even more. “And here I thought our baby was special.”

“Mm, he is. ‘Baby Seokjinnie’s smaller than my teddy bear, daddy!’ ‘What toys does baby Jinnie like to play with, daddy?’” Namjoon drops the high-pitched imitation of his son and rubs at his face with his free hand, though not without a tired grin. “At this point I should give up and call him Min Jungkook, not Kim Jungkook.”

Yoongi scoffs, free hand coming up to lazily stroke the delicate tufts of Seokjin’s hair, making the sleeping infant scrunch his nose happily. “Only if it’s a fair trade. You can take our Taehyung; he’s basically Jimin’s brother as it is.”

Namjoon chuckles lowly, pausing to take a sip of his coffee without the slightest grimace. “Ah, the terrible two. Minnie’s already got Tae’s Christmas present, you know. I would tell you, but I’m under an oath of silence from the little man himself.”

The answering hum from you and Yoongi is cut off by a high-pitched squeal that rips down the hallway. The three of you – even baby Jinnie – go stock-still, waiting for anything else. A full second of suppressed alarm later, an equally shrieky giggle follows, and every parent in the room visibly relaxes, tension dropping in relief.

“Still gets me every time,” Namjoon mutters.

“Oh, that doesn’t change,” you begin, but your focus is quickly sidetracked by a sudden shift in your arms, a sleepy gurgle as your youngest begins to wake, wiggling his tiny fingers and feet. You coo, a peaceful smile on your face as he blinks open his wide eyes and purses his plump lips, something he hadn’t inherited from you nor Yoongi but somehow was inexplicably born with. “Good morning, Jinnie,” you whisper, voice already lifting into baby-talk.

“It’s four in the afternoon,” Yoongi drawls, but you don’t miss the proud glint in his eyes at seeing his son wake up so calmly.

“Good morning!” you repeat. “Is my little guy hungry? Hm?”

“He’s awake?!” a voice chirps behind you, and you jump in your seat so violently that that Jin begins to fuss, face scrunching up slowly like he’s about to cry.

Namjoon sighs. “Jungkookie, that wasn’t very nice. You gave them a fright.”

Two sparkling eyes peek around the side of the couch. “But Jinnie woke up! I get to feed him, remember?”

You can’t hold a grudge at the sweet boy, lips stretching in a fond smile and sitting Jin upright on your lap, chubby legs kicked out over your knees. “Jungkookie, we’ll just feed Jinnie a yogurt pouch, would you mind getting one out of the fridge for me?”

The boy visibly deflates. “But I’m just little,” he points out sadly, “I can’t reach.”

“I can get them, mom,” a new voice calls out cheerily, your oldest son bounding through to the kitchen, bringing a yoghurt pouch for the baby and a juice box for himself. The ten-year-old holds the fridge door open with a raised knee, ducking his head out to face the lounge. “You want one, JK?”

Jungkook’s lips purse together in distaste. “I want the good stuff, hyungie.”

Namjoon drops his face into his hand, pinching his brow. “Jesus. This isn’t your house, Jungkookie. Take what you’re given, please.”

Jungkook huffs, foot thumping the carpet. “Well, I want Hobi-hyung to given me a banana milk, daddy.”

You bite down on your lip suddenly to stop a laugh from bubbling out, diffusing the release by jiggling your leg a little so Seokjinnie can bounce on your lap. “It’s fine, Joon, he can have one. They just sit there otherwise.”

Jungkook’s triumphant grin is shattered by his father reaching out to playfully wrestle him onto his lap, poking at his ribs and ruffling his hair, making his son squeal happily. “My spoilt kid, look at you! You’ll have an ego the size of this house by the time we visit next! Goodness me.”

Jungkook, hair sticking out at odd angles, finally collapses, wrapped in his dad’s arms. The cheeky grin returns with a vengeance. “That’s because I’m daddy’s favorite.”

“You’re trouble, that’s what,” Namjoon defends begrudgingly, squeezing him in a tighter hug.

A soft hand falls on your arm, the slender fingers of your oldest. Already a soccer fanatic, the kid had lost his puppy fat quicker than you perhaps would’ve liked, but he still retained the gentle and positive nature that radiated from his kind eyes. “Mommy,” he begins, “can I hold him?”

Jungkook makes a wounded noise, staring up at you like you’d betrayed him just by fielding the question.

“Jungkookie is gonna give him his yoghurt pouch, Hobi, could you be a good big brother and keep Jinnie on your lap?” Your son nods decisively, a pointer finger reaching out so that Jinnie’s fist closes around it, making him beam. “Okay, up on the couch, then.”

It’s barely half a minute after the two older kids get settled beside Yoongi - Hoseok cradling Jin against his stomach and Jungkook practically draped over his knees to reach out the pouch – before the two terrors come tearing down the carpeted hallway.

Yoongi, an arm still around Hoseok’s narrow shoulders, hastily reaches forward to put his mostly full cup of coffee back on the table. He’d barely taken a sip yet, preferring it not too hot on his tongue, but the two of you both knew Taehyung’s habit of running and jumping on top of you like an overeager dog. Too often you’d get undressed at the end of the day to see random bruises on your thighs or torso from his knees and elbows. Even though your whole family was very affectionate, Tae was a cuddle fanatic, which is why it comes as no surprise to you when he barrels around the corner, still wrapped up in a bear hug with his best friend, and Namjoon’s oldest, Jimin.

The two of them had birthdays a day apart and were convinced it made them soulmates or superheroes or something. Practically attached at the hip, they were what brought Namjoon from just another coworker of Yoongi’s to a close friend of the two of you.

“Woah, Jiminie!” Speaking of, Namjoon himself sits up, eyes wide as the two entangled six-year-olds stumble out and just about trip on the carpet, collapsing onto the couch and wriggling onto it, legs flying and teeth bared with massive grins. “Careful!”

You give a quick glance to the four men of varying sizes all cuddled together on the couch beside you. Yoongi, Hoseok, Jungkook and baby Jinnie seem to have taken no notice of the racket, fully focused in their own little word. Your husband murmurs lowly to the two kids on how to best feed the baby, holding his chubby arms steady in a cute team effort. If it wouldn’t totally ruin the moment, you’d whip out your phone to take a picture right about now.

“Mommy!” Taehyung belts, standing up on the couch on wobbly legs, a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder to keep balanced.

“Inside voice! What is it, baby?”

“Can we give Jiminie my present now?”

“What day is it?”

He pauses, shoulders drooping. Below, the brunette waves of Jimin’s hair fall back as he wraps his arms around Taehyung’s legs and props his chin up on his knee, looking up at the boy one day younger than him. With lips plump like Jin (these ones clearly taken from his father, however) Jimin mouths the answer. Tae blinks a couple times, then looks up at you. “Christmas Eve Eve Eve?”

“Y- correct, yes. When do we do presents?”

Sensing his own defeat, the whine comes out. “But moooom! Jiminie gave me mine!”

Namjoon looks sharply over to his son, who wilts but lets out a nervous giggle. “Minnie! We were going to give it to him together!”

Yoongi glances up. “You’re angry about the wrong thing, Joon.”

The younger man shrugs. “It was cool! Jimin, did he like it?”

Like two gossiping schoolkids, Namjoon, his son, and Taehyung excitedly discuss the gift: a little disposable camera that would let Tae take his own pictures whenever he wanted. A thoughtful gift, of course, and your heart soars at the thought of your little artist having his own camera, but Yoongi just slumps back on the couch, not even reacting as his youngest smears stray yoghurt over his jeans. “We have to let Taebear give Jimin his Christmas present now, love.”

Though he spoke low, the giant boxy grin on Tae’s face shows you he definitely heard. You bite your lip staring at the three on the opposite couch all giving you puppy eyes, Namjoon included.

“Fine,” you sigh, watching the kids jump excitedly. “but it’s only fair that each of the kids gets to open one present then.”

Hoseok and Jungkook look over you in comic timing, one with a heart-shaped grin and the other with a milk moustache that’s almost over the entire bottom half of his face. Even baby Jinnie hiccups, bouncing happily with cheeks full of yoghurt.

“Does… Does that include us?” Namjoon asks tentatively, barely reacting as the two kids on his side tug at his hair, his shirt, his cheeks.

You laugh in good humour, turning to your husband to share in the joke, but your smile drops when his eyes are rounded in hope too, blinking prettily.

You let out a sigh.

God, what have you done now

#btswritingcafe #bangtanscenery #ficswithluv #btswriterscollective #bangtanarmynet #bts x reader #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #namjoon fluff #jungkook fluff #hoseok fluff #jimin fluff #taehyung fluff #jin fluff

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petersasteria · 4 years

Text

168 Hours - Haz Osterfield (10)

Pairing: Haz x Reader

Haz Osterfield Masterlist || Ultimate Masterlist || 168 Hours Masterlist

DISCLAIMER: *This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: In which your son’s wish comes true and it turns horrible. Now, he has to fix it in 168 hours.

Special thanks to: @myblueleatherbag and @dudethisvoid for being so helpful

Click pictures for better quality

𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐭𝐰𝐨 hours have been consumed out of one hundred and sixty-eight. This means that Harley and Amadis have ninety-six hours left for their mission. In days, they only have four days left. Harley didn't know what to do. He was panicking. Harley wasn't sure if his parents are falling in love again. Unbeknownst to him, his parents are already in love with each other.

Harley wakes up the next day feeling really good and he didn't really know why. He feels a presence next to him and he turns to see Y/N fast asleep next to him. Harley was surprised, but he sighed as he stared at her.

"Good morning, mum." Harley says in a whisper. He gets out of bed and stretches before walking out of the room to see Harrison sitting on the couch, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. "Good morning, da- Harrison!"

'That was close.' Harley thinks.

Harrison smiles at him and stands up, "Good morning, Harley! What do you want for breakfast?"

"Hm..." Harley hums in thought. He wanted a big breakfast. "I actually want a lot of things."

Harrison nods, "Okay, go on. Tell me."

"I want pancakes, bacon, orange juice, scrambled eggs, and a banana." Harley smiles. Harrison laughs, "Wow! Someone's hungry. I'll get to it."

Harrison walks to the kitchen and takes out the ingredients for pancakes. Harley immediately stands next to him. "I make great pancakes and I take pride in that." Harrison boasts.

"You sound just like my dad." Harley smiles at Harrison fondly. Harrison really is his father... or will be his father in the future. But it still kind of hurt when Harrison just laughs it off.

"I'll take that as a compliment. I bet he's an awesome dad." Harrison says. He gets the bowl and looks at Harley, "You can help me. Tell me the steps."

Harley nods and reads the steps on Harrison's phone, "Two tablespoons of sugar."

Harrison opens the sugar and puts some of it in a mug. Then he pours the contents of the mug in the bowl. Harley gasps, "You don't have the measuring spoon thing?! I think that's a lot of sugar."

"I like sugar, Harley." Harrison chuckles. "Read the next one."

"One and a half cup of flour." Harley reads. Harrison opens the flour and pour the floor in the mug and pours it in the bowl.

"It's getting everywhere." Harley comments.

"You see," Harrison says as he fills up half of the mug with flour. "That's the thing with flour. It gets everywhere."

"Either that or you're messy." Harley giggles.

"Haha, very funny." Harrison playfully rolls his eyes and puts the rest of the flour in the bowl. "Who needs friends when you have food?" He says randomly.

"That's true." Harley nods in agreement as he watches Harrison put a bit of baking soda in the mix. "Next we need salt."

"Salt?!" Harrison scrunches his face in disgust. "No one wants salty pancakes. Do you want salty pancakes?"

Harley shakes his head, "Let's just skip it. Two cups of milk." Harrison fills up the mug with milk twice and puts it in the bowl.

"Eggs."

Harrison cracks an egg and adds it in the mixture. He moves away to grab a whisk and hands it to Harley, "Whisk it, little guy."

Harley does what he's told as Harrison prepares the bacon and scrambled eggs. Harley reads the steps and adds a splash of olive oil and chuckles to himself when it gets on his shirt.

"I think this batter is good to go." Harley says. Harrison nods after setting the table. He grabs the bowl and starts cooking the pancakes, "Get the glasses and the juice in the fridge."

Harley obeys and does everything he's told. A few minutes later, Harrison is done cooking the pancakes and Harley's already seated on the table as he watches YouTube on Harrison's phone. Just then, Y/N hurriedly emerges from the room with her hair all wet and her clothes disheveled.

"Whoa, you look like a crazy person." Harrison laughs as he sits down. "Where are you going?"

"I'm so late!" Y/N groans as she sits down on the table and grabs a pancake before eating it with her bare hands. She didn't have time to use cutlery. With her mouth full she says, "I forgot I have an appointment with the wedding planner today! I'm also going to help Tom's groomsmen to pick out their tuxes."

"Isn't your fiancé supposed to do that?" Harrison asks. "I'm no wedding expert, but I'm sure he's supposed to do that."

Y/N takes a big gulp of the orange juice and says, "Yeah, well he's not here. He's in Prague with his best friend Bradley and this needs to be done now. We're getting married in four days."

She stands up and goes to the sink to wash her hands before going to the living room to get her bag and her wedding planning notebook. She puts on her shoes and turns to Harrison, "I'm sorry, I can't babysit with you today. I just- I really need to get things done."

"We'll be fine, won't we?" Harrison smiles at Harley. Harley nods excitedly and they say goodbye to Y/N.

"I'll be home at seven-ish. Bye!" Y/N leaves and the two boys are left eating their breakfast in silence.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Harrison asks. "We could binge watch movies, play board games, go to the mall. What do you want?"

"I actually just want to stay in, so binge watching would be nice." Harley smiles. "Let's watch Harry Potter!"

Harrison looks at him and pretends to wipe the 'tears' away from his eyes. He says, "Whoever your parents are, they taught and raised you well. Harry Potter is amazing!"

'If you only knew that you and Y/N are my parents.' Harley thinks.

The rest of the day is spent on binge watching Harry Potter, eating, and Harrison forcing Harley to take a bath. Aside from that, the day was amazing.

"Harley, help me cook dinner. What do you want to eat?" Harrison asks as he gets up from the couch. He looks at Harley who's busy watching Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. Harrison waits for a response and when Harley doesn't say anything, Harrison shakes his head with a chuckle before going to the kitchen to cook something.

He ends up cooking lasagna. Unfortunately, it burned causing the smoke alarm to go off. Harley quickly opens the windows to let the smoke out and Harrison gets rid of the burnt food. Then they hear a knock on the door. Harrison quickly opens it and reveals someone he's never seen before.

"Um, yes?" Harrison asks.

"Oh, hi! Is Amadis there? I'm Finn." Finn smiles.

"Oh, he's at Prague at the moment. I'm babysitting Harley." Harrison grins. "Is there anything you need?"

"Nah." Finn shakes his head. "I just came here to drop off Amadis' mail. It's cash from... his work." Finn hands the envelope to Harrison.

"Oh, thank you! I'll guard it with my life." Harrison jokes.

"No problem!" Finn smiles and leaves. Harrison leaves the door slightly open so that the smoke would leave the room. A few minutes later, Y/N comes home and was surprised to see the door slightly open.

"Hey, why's the door open?! We could've been rob-" Y/N enters the apartment and was surprised to see smoke everywhere. "W-What happened?" She sets her things down and hurriedly helps them.

"I tried to cook dinner." Harrison sheepishly says. "It failed."

Y/N nods, "Yeah, I can see that now."

Harrison opens the envelope and his eyes widen when he sees two thousand pounds in it. He looks at the front part of the envelope and it says: 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.

"Well, we can buy ourselves dinner. I assume that this daily allowance is for Amadis and Harley." Harrison says.

Harley's ears perk up at the mention of the allowance and he nods quickly, "Yes! That's mine and his allowance. We can buy pizza and all other stuff!"

In the end, the buy two boxes of large pizzas, pasta, and a box of chicken wings. It was a perfect thing to wrap up the day.

𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄...

"You know, you really should answer your phone." Saint Thomas Aquinas points at Amadis' phone that keeps lighting up with God's name.

"Yeah. God doesn't like it when you don't answer his calls." Saint Christopher says as he munches on baby carrots and offering some to the other saint and the frustrated angel.

"I don't even know why you're so tense or whatever. You're doing a great job on your mission. Meanwhile Saint Anthony is still M.I.A." Saint Thomas Aquinas mentions.

Saint Christopher shakes his head sadly, "It's ironic how the patron saint of lost things is now lost. What a shame."

Amadis picks up his phone and clears all his notifications. He was about to lock his phone when he gets two notifications.

Saint Christopher takes a peek of Amadis' phone and smiles, "At least, we know Saint Anthony's alive."

"Technically, he's been dead for, like, a million years. In fact, we all are." Saint Thomas Aquinas retorts.

"Okay, I've had enough of your philosophical stuff." Saint Christopher rolls his eyes. As the two saints start to argue, Amadis sighs and calls Jesus through FaceTime. Jesus answers almost immediately.

"Hey there, angel!" Jesus chuckles.

"That pun will never not be funny." Amadis laughs. "How's heaven?"

"Great! We just had a banquet." Jesus answers. "Anyway, Heavenly Dad just wants updates. What's happening there? Where's the kid? I want to see him! Kids love me."

"Uh, I'm in Prague right now and I left the kid with his parents in London. I'm kind of following the other guy." Amadis bites his lip nervously.

"Other guy?" Jesus furrows his eyebrows. "OH! You mean, Thomas Stanley Holland?"

"Yup."

"Ahh, his mother prayed to me earlier today. Something about safety or whatever." Jesus shrugs. "Not that I don't care or anything. I do care, but like, he's a big boy. He can take care of himself. I can guide him, though."

"Where were you when he cheated?" Amadis sighs in frustration.

"He cheated?! Oh my gazebo." Jesus gasps. "I was busy tending to other prayers. I have so many piled up and I'm trying to get to all of them because if I don't answer one prayer, there'll be a non-believer."

"Jesus, we have five new non-believers." Saint Peter says in the background. Amadis purses his lips and Jesus just sighs.

"Anyway, I'll check in on you soon. Bye, angel!" Jesus waves goodbye with a smile.

"Bye!" Amadis gives him a tight smile before ending the call.

"You know, you shouldn't be upset that he cheated." Saint Thomas Aquinas pipes up.

"Why not?" Amadis rolls his eyes.

"Because it's supposed to happen. If he didn't cheat on her, she'd be married to him and she wouldn't be with Harrison Osterfield and they would never have Harley and you would still be stuck in heaven." Saint Thomas Aquinas explains. "It's all part of the timeline, trust me."

"I guess you're right." Amadis shrugs. He didn't want to admit that Saint Thomas Aquinas was COMPLETELY right because his ego might get big. Now all Amadis could think about are the 'what would've happened if's' and so far, he couldn't formulate answers.

* * * *

AFTER A LONG TIME, HERE'S AN UPDATE

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland @silencetheslaves @imeanlifesabitshit @joyleenl @hjoficrecs @myblueleatherbag @poguesholland @harryismysunflower @justanothermarvelmaniac @lonikje @lizzyosterfield @itstaskeen @ilarbu @turtoix @badreputationlove @starlight-starks @swiftmind @sovereignparker

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell @justasmisunderstoodasloki @rubberducky-jrr @petersholland @osterfieldnholland @miraclesoflove @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @perspectiveparker @hollands-weasley @itstaskeen @call-me-baby-gir1 @the-panwitch @iamaunicorn4704 @chloecreatesfictions @holland-styles @halfblood-princess-505 @spidey-reids-2003 @herbatkazmiloscia @whatthefuckimbisexual

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield #haz osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fanfic #haz osterfield fic #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield y/n #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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princessozera · 4 years

Text

Not OM, I just wanted to post here the first ever fic I actually wrote and published

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY AS A DISCLAIMER EVEN THOUGH I PUBLISHED IT LAST YEAR (2 years ago?) I WAS ACTUALLY YOUNGER WHEN I WROTE THIS. I DO NOT SIMP FOR DAMIAN LIKE THAT ANYMORE, HE IS MY SON.

The Only Exception

(Aged up/Older Damian Wayne x OC)

The seats are filled, the air is comforting, music and perfume floating in the air. Today Rosella Anderson is to be wed to Damian Wayne. But, weddings never quite go according to plan. Talia and Ra's Al Ghul have made it clear they don't like her, on multiple occasions. But with no less than 50 trained fighters and investigators on both sides of the aisle, nothing can interrupt or ruin her special day...... Right?

Chapter 1: Getting Married Today

"Come on, suck it in!"

"I HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN TODAY!" I whined as Alice yanked the ribbons on my corset tighter.

"WATCH IT!" Crystal swats away Alice's hands and undoes the ribbons a bit. "Suffocate her and she doesn't make it down the aisle, pack her like a sausage and my hours of makeup will have gone to waste!" She huffed and finish tying the ribbons, satisfied that they weren't too tight.

"I don't think I ever really appreciated the amount of work it takes to make curly hair not be frizzy," Barbra Gordon says between sips of champagne, lounging on the hotel bed.

"That's why I don't do my hair that often," I laugh, sitting on an ottoman so Alice can put my veil on and Crystal can help me put on my garter. My maid of honor, Cassandra Cain, came over and tried to feed me some fruit slices. I tried to argue, but I couldn't hold my own as she stared me down. I let her feed me some cantaloupe slices until she was satisfied and went off to finish getting ready.

"You really are a queen today!" Stephanie laughed as she walked around the room again, holding a video recorder. I tried to hide my face, but she grabbed my hand and swung it around. "A beautiful princess for Gotham's own prince! Tell us, your majesty, how are you feeling, about to be married off to Gotham's richest stone statue?" The girls laughed but I just shook my head at her. "Me, Tim, and Dick are making a documentary for you two. Any words for the lucky man? Anything you want to say to your future self, your family, your future kids? " Whistles and laughs went around the room and I couldn't help but blush.

"Well, let's take this one step at a time," I laughed to hide my own embarrassment. "Damian," I started, looking directly into the camera, "I don't believe in love at first sight, but damn did we square up on first sight. Not many people can say they had a full on MMA fight with their future spouse within minutes of meeting them. Yet, after that whole fiasco was solved, you've never been anything but gentle with me. People always said we wouldn't last; lava and ice. Water and a drought. Incompatible. But you were the first to look past who I had to be, to see who I was trying to be. You brought me a family, and I like to think I've brought you some serenity. I don't believe in destiny, and I'm not too sure about fate, but I believe in us. I believe that I'll fight for you until the end of time because you'd do the same for me. Because you are my home, and there's no place I'd rather be." I get choked up, wanting nothing more than to have him in my arms right now. I missed him like hell, even though it's only been 2 days since I've seen him.

"This isn't the time to start reciting your wedding vows silly," Cass said and I couldn't help but giggle. She wipes away the tears that I hadn't felt form, making sure to not mess with my mascara. Stephanie sighs happily and puts the camcorder down, reaching over to hug me.

"I'm so glad I get to be your sister," she whispered to me, and I hugged back tighter. We both jerked in surprise at the knock at the door. I immediately reached for my bag, looking for my well-worn notebook, but Cass's hand steadied me. Barbra got up, fixed her dress and went over to the door.

"Who is-" She stiffens up immediately, hand pulling back from the handle. "It's Talia." Stephanie immediately got in front of me, and I grabbed Cass's hand as she reached for her own bag, searching for her gun. I'd never told my friends about Talia, but they took the hint found their way to their respective bags, throwing knives and whips at the ready. Truthfully, I was finding it a little hard to breathe and I doubt it was the dress. The knock came again, more insistent, but no one moved.

"It's your call Rose," Barbra said, her eyes never leaving the door.

"Let her in," I tug on Cass's arm and she helps me stand up. "If she wanted me offed, she would have gotten someone else to do it. Or at least she wouldn't have knocked." Crystal and Alice look between all of us in alarm and decide to take the window as Stephanie goes to back up Babs by the door. The door opens, and there stands Talia, as beautiful and regal as ever. She glances over everyone before finally meeting my eyes.

"Lady Al Ghul, please come in. To what do I owe the pleasure?" I said, fidgeting with my dress. She steps in, nodding to Babs and Stephanie.

"I'd like to have a word with you before the ceremony," She says, running her hand along the wet counter cluttered with makeup. "Alone," She said with a pointed look when no one moved. That harsh edge was enough to get everyone to cover or flank me again. She didn't respond to this, simply staring at me. I put my hand on each girl's back, one by one.

"Go, I'll be fine. We'll be right here," Babs stares me down, but I nod back. She caves and starts to leave; Alice, Crystal and eventually Stephanie following behind, after she grabs something off the bed. Cass refused to move.

"Do I need to remind you that you can barely move your waist in that monstrous dress? She'd get to you before any of us were the wiser," She whispered in my ear, holding my arm pretty tightly. I wormed my way out of her grasp and grabbed the worn notebook from my bag.

"I promise, it'll be fine. Anyways, I forgot there were 2 more things I needed to do," I flipped through the pages quickly, finding what I needed and handing it to her. "If you could please take care of it? You should be done by the time we're done talking and we can head to the venue." Cass read through it quickly, then looked at me again. She gave a curt nod and walked out as well.

"We'll be right outside," Babs says pointedly before closing the door. Talia and I stood in silence for a moment, before she slowly stalked towards me until she was less than 6 feet away.

"Lady Al-"

"Your still not worthy of my son." oop. Right to the point, as always. Can't say it didn't hurt.

"You're a commoner, a nobody. No title, no land, not even superior health to your name. You failed classes in high school, went to college on scholarships, and couldn't land a proper role in your field until a year in. Failure, after pitfall, after failure." JESUS CHRIST THIS LADY DID HER RESEARCH. My face burned in humiliation, but nothing I could say now would justify everything she just listed out. "And yet... Damian loves you."

"I may not like you, but I know how I raised him, and Bruce has done a good job of bringing up a boy worth more than the names he was born into. Wayne. Al Ghul. Damian. I will have faith in his choice, he is not a stupid boy. Foolish and stubborn yes, but not stupid. If he thinks you are worthy, there may be hope for you yet." holy shit, no way, is this actually happening? I'm too stunned to say anything, just grateful that my mouth isn't hanging open.

"When you return from your honeymoon I expect you to face me in a formal duel and undergo training as necessary," she puts her hands on her hips, challenging me to argue with her, but I was so happy I had to restrain myself from hugging her.

"It would be an honor to battle you Lady Al Ghul," I say, finding my tongue, stifling my giddiness with a bow, and a hand over my chest.

"Talia is also acceptable." She says with a nod, taking another step forward and adjusting the skirt of my dress and finally my veil before turning starting to walk back to the door. "My father and I will also be in attendance to this event, but if you ever wish to gain even an ounce of his approval, you'll need to do another more traditional ceremony at a later date." My heart swelled, and for a second, I legitimately thought I was going to break down crying. This was better than anything I could have prepared for. I couldn't just let her walk out like that.

"Damian'll be elated!" I yelled out to keep my voice from cracking. Talia stops, and I gush on. "I know you haven't had the easiest of relationships, with conflicting ideology and all, but he really does love you, and Ra's, even if he doesn't say it. He looks up to you guys and wants to make you proud. You being here will mean the world to him." I force myself to stop talking before I say something weird or bad. Talia turns back to me, walks up swiftly, and hugs me. I'm stiff in surprise, but manage to hug her back before she gives me one last nod and walks out. Everyone runs back in the second Talia is out.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?" Babs immediately grabs my arms and starts inspecting me up and down for any sign of injury.

"Don't cry don't cry!" Alice pleads with me, fanning my face to prevent the tears from falling.

"Talia hugged her, check her back and skirt for anything weird," I look over to Stephanie, who was staring down at her camcorder. Had she left that hidden on the bed? I didn't even notice. But it was so sweet. I could show Damian later all the sweet words his mother said about him.

"Jesus, you're so teary today," Cass mumbles as she does her own inspection of my dress. When she's done, she sees my tears are of joy, so she hugs me. "Your journal's impressive," she says handing back my heart covered notebook. I'm still choked up and trying not to bawl in relief so once everyone was satisfied that I wasn't going to drop dead in the middle of the aisle, they sat me down so I could calm down while they finished up. I collected myself, the extremity of these emotions leaving me exhausted. I drifted off with the warm glow of my friend's laughter and love filling the air.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No way, you did not fall asleep!"

"Get up get up get up!"

"Cass, I'm fully warning you right now. If she falls asleep at the ceremony like this, I'm throwing my bouquet at her head"

"You might have to beat Stephanie to it," Cass giggles, as she gently shakes me awake. I take a second to reorient myself, blinking the drowsiness out of my eyes, and stretching.

"Ooh, we could coordinate it though!" Stephanie perks up, "if she falls asleep; Alice and Crystal, take your flowers and make it rain, and then Babs, Cass and I hit her in the head. Guaranteed it'll wake her up!" We all laugh and I get up, taking a minute to appreciate my beautiful friends. It was a debated choice, but the deep purple fit everyone perfectly. We did have to make a few adjustments to Stephanie's overall look though, to keep her from looking too similar to her alter ego, Spoiler. Bouquet in every pair of hands, key cards in garter wallets and phones on silent, we made our way down to the venue.

"We're only running 10 minutes behind, it couldn't be helped," Babs tries to calm my nerves as I all but start jumping in the elevator. Cass also had to put a hand on my waist to pull me back when I almost ran to my place. She escorted me around to the side doors; the girls and I were coming in from the right, Damian and his groomsmen were coming in from the left. He had wanted to avoid any issue of who should walk him down the aisle; I thought it was cute how he couldn't choose between Dick and Bruce. Cass and I were slow dancing to calm my nerves when the rest of the girls came back.

"Pianist and minister are ready" -Babs

"Decorations are gorgeous and on point, everyone is in their seat and there are no fussy children" -Alice

"Lights, audio and AC are perfect and photographers are also ready" - Crystal.

I nodded, yes, everything was going smoothly. Of course, I had used everything I had when planning this. I was floating on cloud nine, simply nodding along when Babs spoke up.

"Has anyone seen Stephanie?" she asks, grip tightening on her bouquet. No one knew so we all just waited around for 5 minutes, everyone starting to get fidgety. Stephanie came back, 10 minutes later, looking a little out of breath and a bit pale, even under her makeup.

"Ok so there's a situation,- the guys are running late but it's okay they're o their way, they'll be here in 20 minutes!" Stephanie sped through the second half of her sentence when she saw that I was going to panic. I breathed out in relief and nodded, satisfied.

"I'll make the announcement, Dick probably went overboard trying to do his hair again," Babs snickered and headed into the ceremony hall. We played a light game of ninja as we waited to hear from the guys, but I soon became hyper-aware of time passing. I don't have the best perception of time, I don't even have a good memory, but I caught the looks my bridesmaids were giving each other.

The questioning looks.

The worry.

I let myself get kicked out of the next round and walked a little ways off, pulling my phone out and calling the number I knew by heart, ignoring the time that read that I was now almost 40 minutes late to my own wedding. The phone rang 3 times, and I turned away from my girls who were really getting into this game, rooting for Cass or Alice to win.

"Damian!" I sighed in relief when the line clicked. "hey, how much longer do you think you guys will be in traffic? If it's going to be another while, I can have it arranged so snacks and drinks are handed out so no one gets restless. I could also give the pianist a break, he's been playing the same chorus on repeat for the last half hour-" I let my voice trail off as I was met by a stone wall of silence. Not even a joke from Dick or Tim or Duke. I waited him out, after a minute of silence, Damian spoke up.

"I'm sorry beloved, I can't do this."

"What?" I asked, but my voice was so thin and breathy I doubt he heard me.

"I can't go through with this. This marriage, this wedding. It's all a joke. Who even cares about this mess? It's all so... stupid. Pointless." not a hint of hesitation, voice more ruthless than I had ever heard it. No. No way. was he serious!? I struggled to find my words, I shook with the pure effort of breathing normally even though I felt like I was having an actual heart attack; tight chest, palpitations, the whole 9 yards. Tremors ran through my body and I finally managed to choke out "Damian-"

"Goodbye Rosella" the line clicked off and I take a shuddering breath.

"Rose?" Cass says, gently putting a hand on my shoulder.

"He's not coming."

"What?"

"He's not coming!" I shriek, clutching my waist to stop my stomach from churning but to no avail; at least I didn't have much of lunch to throw up.

"What do you mean he's not coming!" Babs demands, yelling from where she was

"shit"

We all turn and there stands Jason, looking uncomfortable as hell and very much like he didn't want to be here. That confirmed it for everyone. Alice, Crystal, and Babs started yelling questions at Jason. Stephanie pulled out her own phone and started dialing a bunch of numbers but it seemed like no one was answering. Cass tried to speak with me, but my ears were ringing, it all sounded like white noise. And I felt cold. but hot. but freezing. I raise my hand and draw everyone's attention, all becoming deadly silent.

"Alice, Crystal. please go tell the pianist, the minister, and the photographer. Give them my email so I can settle up the charges later. Stephanie and Cass, please go see if we can keep the party reservations for tonight. Everyone else should enjoy them, even if there is no.... Barbra, could you please break the news that I... we..." everything got really blurry for a second and the floor rushed up to meet me, but I caught myself on the table before I could pass out completely.

Not here, not in front of them. Don't put them through a breakdown.

Everyone was fussing, but I couldn't stand here for another second. "Go. I just want to be alone. Please. go. GO!" I yelled and they all dispersed, shooting me worried looks. Cass gave me a long hug before she decided I needed a moment alone.

"Don't move from here." She instructed me. "Go get the guys," she demanded to Jason before going off. Jason looked at me sadly, trying to find the right words to say.

"Rose-"

"Please leave." he walked away without another word. Once I was sure he was out of earshot, I ran with everything I had out of the hallway.

Pardon me is everybody there

because if everybody's there id like to thank you all for coming to the wedding

I appreciate you going even more

I mean you must have had better things to do.

Thank you all for the gifts and the flowers,

Thank you all, now it's back to the showers

but I guess I'm not getting married today

The perfume is suffocating, overly sweet, fake as plastic, thick as sugar. I can't breathe, but I don't need air to run. Don't stop, move. Move. Move. The ribbons are strangling me. The garter is cutting off my circulation. Gloves are hurting me. High heels, weak ankles. My rolls of fat spilling out of the dress. rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls. can't stand. can't wait, I throw open the door to the stairs and take them in 3s.

Listen, everybody,

look, I don't know what you're waiting for.

A wedding. What's a wedding?

It's a prehistoric ritual

Where everybody promises fidelity forever,

Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of,

Which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize

He's saddled with a nut, and want to kill me, which he should.

Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married

I scream as my veil gets caught in the handrail, yanking my head back, falling down a couple of stairs. No question, I rip it off. It stings, it hurts, bobby pins forcefully ripped out. The shoes go too, heels are stupid, why are they so tall. Tall and tall and make my knees wobbly. The taller they are the harder they fall. Up the stairs, 3 at a time, legs on fire. Don't stop, don't stop, hike the dress up and keep running all the way to the 50th floor.

Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married

You've been grand, but I'm not getting married

Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married

But I'm not getting married today.

I slam open the hotel room door, to hell with neighbors. Suffocating, burning, melting heat. I rip off the gloves, scream as I can't get the ribbons out of my dress. I scream, jump, squirm and throw myself around until it finally comes off.

He didn't come. shut up.

He didn't want to. SHUT THE HELL UP

I felt everything to an extreme degree. Too much. Why am I breathing so heavily? Why am I sweating bullets!? I throw my hair up in a ponytail, yank the garter off, tripping over my own two feet. My phone falls next to my head and the only thing I can think to do is to throw it into the toilet. I grab my honeymoon bag- no, my emergency bag that happened to have cute clothes instead of food, and switch into my leggings and a t-shirt. It's all I had. It's all I could ask for.

Go! Can't you go?

Why is nobody listening?

Goodbye! Go and cry

At another person's wake.

If you're quick, for a kick

You could pick up a christening

But please, on my knees,

There's a human life at stake!

I'm parkouring down the stairs, jumping entire sections, falling on knees, but ignoring the pain to jump again. Emergency phone in one hand, I order the uber, start the bank transaction, even though I have to read everything 10 times for it to make sense. What do? where go? don't know. not here. One bad jump and I collapsed entirely, but as I scrambled to throw everything back in my bag, I see the plane tickets. yes. away. out. not here. leave.

Go! Can't you go?

Look, you know I adore you all

But why watch me die

Like Eliza on the ice?

Look, perhaps I'll collapse

In the apse right before you all

So take back the cake

Burn the shoes, and boil the rice

Out of the stairway, but slammed into a wall. Around the corner, Alice and Babs and Crystal and Jason and Stephanie and Cass and Bruce and Selina and Duke and Tim and Dick and Alfred.

Remember when you first met them? He swore he'd protect you but that they'd love you. please stop! I begged myself, think of anything, anything but him. anything but this. Get out, then we can cry, but not here, not now. I watched them split up, so I hid behind a corner farther back. Steph and Cass took up the stairs. Everyone else was gone so I ran out the back door. Out of the hotel, away from the perfume, away from the flowers, the candles, the dresses. From them. And by some small miracle, the car was already here. I jump in, only taking a second to notice that it was, in fact, an uber.

"Hello, ma'am! How are-"

"Please! Just go!" my voice breaks and the tears start up again. I brush them aside furiously/ doing everything in my power not to start sobbing, but he listens to me and speeds off.

BECAUSE I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED TODAY

(A twist on this song that actually inspired this whole fic)

Chapter 2: On The Run

I'm going to kill him

Why didn't he show up?

How fucking dare he

Was it something I did?

I was nervous too bitch; I drank a shot of tequila and sucked it up!

Was it something HE did? Was Talia lying? Did Ra's kidnap Damian? Why did the boys wait to tell us? Did Stephanie know that something was up? Do any of them even-

"Ughhhh," I groaned audibly as my thoughts and emotions started to run together. It had been a while since anything left me this.... discombobulated. Exhausted. A mess. I'd almost forgotten how awfully I reacted to being overwhelmed and out of control. The uber driver shot me a curious look but didn't say anything. Keep it together Rosella. Just, go home and.. I flinched, chagrined at my own stupidity. "Get somewhere safe" I amended under my breath, "and then you can have as big of a breakdown as you want. Just, be a stone again. Close it all out. Suppress the fire, drown the noise." I rubbed my eyes, the dry burn giving me the weirdest throbbing headache.

The ride to the airport was stiff, to say the least. My driver kept trying to talk to me, but my responses were so dry he gave up. He didn't question the extra stop at the bank, even while he waited outside for half an hour while I verified with tellers inside that I was, in fact, the owner of the account and that I was draining it.

Erase your tracks. You were never here. Are you even alive?

Still, we got to the airport as quickly as I could have hoped for and made sure to give him a large tip for his troubles. I walked through the airport, undoubtedly looking like some pompous bitch with only a stone face and backpack, my actual suitcase left behind in my whirlwind out. I only had some snacks, a Nintendo ds, some stationary things, deodorant, and a toothbrush. I hadn't even remembered to grab my disposable water bottle, toothpaste, or hair brush before leaving. Whatever.

It was almost flawless. I bypassed the checked bag lines, slid right through TSA (bless you TSA Pre-check), although I did get some looks when they checked my bag. I guess overall I looked like I should be getting on a school bus instead. I sat down at a cafe and pulled out the tickets, 2 first class tickets to Malaga, Spain.

I'd set up our honeymoon as a complete surprise to Damian. Bruce and the boys had worked so hard to help me clear out a whole month from his schedule. I'd gone through hell and back to make sure all of my project managers could handle any situation that could happen either in making or transporting our different projects out... We were supposed to be jumping cities for a month in Europe. Cities with small populations, so we could avoid drawing attention, but full of gorgeous architecture and delicious food for me; significant art history and cultural relevance for Damian.

It's going to be a technical nightmare to cancel all of those reservations and getting the tickets switched and sold. Do people even actually do that? But I have to, I don't know where I'm going but I don't want any of them to tra- SHIT. My head snaps up and one quick look around tells me I'm already too late. I spot 5 cameras easily.

I grab my things and head over to a gift shop. I grab bunches of clothes and accessories off of the shelves, hurrying off to pay and doing my best to avoid cameras now as I sneak off into the restroom. I throw on some atrocious sundress, flats, and a baseball cap, flipping my hair twice in an attempt to make it look like a pixie cut. For a second I consider actually finding something sharp to hack my hair off.

I need you to not be a social breakdown cliche for a minute, it took you years to properly grow those curls out. Please don't waste my efforts. Yeah, it's for the better, I look like Dora the Explorer with short hair anyway. Tim wouldn't sell me out to Damian, right? LMAOO he bailed at the wedding you really think he wants to hunt you down?? Or what if Tim wants to find me? Or anyone else? Damian's pretty good at following people. Even then, Babs, Cass, Roy are competent hackers, any of them could find my data and track me down... Are any of them even on my side?... I couldn't help but let out a whimper. I pursed my lips, placing my hands on the cold sink to calm myself. What's my plan anyways? I can't go to any of the cities in Europe where I already have reservations. Too easy. I could go to the Netherlands...

"But Damian knows where I lived there, because of the time we visited my friends," I sigh out loud, facepalming. "But not entirely a bad idea..." I say as I start flipping through the different cities I've lived through. Netherlands, Italy, Spain, Germany, France, Croatia, Portugal, Malta, Romania, Hungary, Austria, are all out. We'd either been there or they were part of the honeymoon plan. I didn't want any reminder of him.

Actually, all of Europe is out. I've raved about it too much. We've been too many places, we both had too many ties scattered throughout Europe. I can't speak Russian, Talia and Ra's have connections all across the middle east, and the north half of Africa. Jason and Cass had some unexplainable ties across north and south america. With every city I named, I hated myself more for talking so much. For trusting him with these memories.

Honeysuckle kisses on cotton candy memories.

shut up.

Isn't there ANYWHERE I've lived and worked that my big mouth hadn't mentioned? As I was starting to get desperate and the headache started acting up again, I found actually ecstatic relief. That would be actually literally perfect. God bless my forgetful memory. The apartment I'd never sold. The country I actively avoided talking about because Damian would get jealous.

I snuck out of the bathrooms and headed over to customer service. I had to work my way past a large group of people. Overhearing snippets of conversation, apparently, their flight is somewhere between delayed or canceled. Inspiration hit me. Give the ticket to someone here. Send them to Spain, let them stay at the hotel. He could follow a cold lead. This would give me enough time to go to one country and get a ticket to where I actually wanted to go.

I look around the group. Too many were in pair or more. Some looked very buisness-y type. There! A girl who looked like a backpacker was chilling, glancing through her phone. You're going to sound absolutely mental. I approach her nevertheless. I pitched her my idea, but she was rightfully skeptical. I swallowed my pride and told her a cold version of the truth.

"My fiancee left me at the altar. I'm going to Mongolia. I don't want his ticket, I don't want the hotel. Either take it or I'll give it to someone else. Or let it go to waste. I don't care. I don't want it. I'll even pay the name change charge." The anger in my voice came out clear, and by another miracle, she accepted it. We walked over to the help desk and I spoke with the dude behind the counter. He seemed hesitant at first, but he gave me a double take when he checked my reservations. With a brighter smile, he got me on the first flight he could to Mongolia.

"Will that be for both tickets Mrs.Wayne?" He asked cheerfully before reeling back, caught off guard by my watering eyes.

"Anderson. And no," I managed to spit out. I signaled for the girl from earlier to come closer. "I'm transferring the other ticket to her, we need to get the name changed." He looked uncertain but went ahead. If he was accommodating before, I could tell he was bending over backwards now to get everything situated. I could see his concentration as he tried to bypass things without having to question me again.

"Umm, your profile says you've actually been to Belgium before, how was it?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Beautiful and quaint. Great place to relax and enjoy nature if that's your thing. I'd recommend Lithuania too, or Leinchestein." I say, trying to keep a light tone. He nodded happily, seeming to take my recommendations seriously before handing the girl the new plane tickets. We thanked him and headed off on our respective paths, the girl taking a minute to hug me.

" I hope you can heal soon, and wish you a bright future" she whispered to me. I hugged back, trying not to cry again. She bought me a bag of peach gummy rings and left me at my terminal. I dropped some calls out to friends, blessed that they all decided to take one or more of the reservations around Europe I'd had. I kept the details to a minimum but they figured out pretty quickly not to mention me to Damian if they happened to see him. Some small part of me, thankfully more aware than the rest had the foresight to call some utility companies and get everything at my apartment working again.

The help desk attendant worked miracles, my nonstop flight boarded less than an hour later and I had managed to keep a first class seat. I sat down and started doodling nonsense in my journal, blasting music in my headphones. But around 6 hours into this 19-hour flight, exhaustion overcame me and I drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beloved," Damian sighed as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "It's almost 11, we need to get out of bed," he murmured into my hair.

"Nooooooo" I whined, stretching further into the sunlight. The doors were ajar, a nice breeze keeping us cool. I snuggled into him. "We're on a vacation, orders from Bruce. And on vacation, you can stay in bed all day."

"But there might be monsters nearby-" He said mysteriously, catching my attention.

"I didn't get reports of any- AH!" I scream as Damian proceeds to tickle me. "No! Sto-" I try to gasp out between laughing. I manage to fight him, tumbling out of bed. He laughed at me as I tried to untangle myself from the blankets.

"That's a dirty trick Wayne!" I gasp, trying to catch my breath. I grab a pillow and chuck it at him, but he just catches it and throws it back. We have a small impromptu pillow war before he taps out after a good hit knocks him onto the balcony. "BOW TO MY PROWESS!" I jokingly declare, jumping up and down on the ottoman. Damian runs over and sweeps me down.

"Please. Don't. Fall. And. Break. Your. Head" He accentuates every word with a kiss, making me giggle. He lets me go and takes the bathroom to shower first. I head out into the kitchen, humming to myself. I grab some of the fruit we bought yesterday and start making a fruit bowl. I'm halfway through cutting the Jicama when Damian's arms are around my waist again.

"What are you doing?" He asks, resting his chin on my shoulder. Before I could answer, his grip around me tightened. "Be careful!" He whispered harshly, putting his hands over mine. "Your knife skills could use some work, you could have cut your finger off like that!" He scolded me but I scoffed.

"Haven't lost a finger yet"

"No, but you did set your oven on fire. THREE TIMES" He elbowed my side and I pouted.

"Excuse you, that 2nd time wasn't my fault, remember? Dick broke into my place and fell asleep making fish sticks," I retaliated, squirming out of his grip and started making some sandwiches for lunch.

"I really should improve the security at your apartment," Damian says as he finished cutting up the Jicama and strawberries, plating them and dropping them off at the table.

"As if that would stop every vigilante from the northern hemisphere from breaking in," I snorted, bringing over the sandwiches. We ate in peace, letting the soft instrumental music from the radio fill the silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sigh happily, turning in my chair, reaching out for Damian's hand. The second I touched the cold seat next to me, my body freezes too. "Damian?" I muttered drowsily, sitting up straight. His bag isn't under his chair. Why am I wearing a dress? Why are my leggings rolled up? I start to panic, breathing rapidly and trying to blink away the tears in my eyes. It's enough to pull me awake and I remember what happened.

"Oh... oh" I hiccup and bite my lip, looking back out the window into the starry night. The tears start falling, but I'm being quiet so I let them. My skin itches. My neck, my wrists, under my eyes. I start scratching, trying to ignore my memories. The trip to Italy, our joint project to improve the villain resistance of the infrastructure of Gotham, the charity events we attended.

"Ma'am?" I look up, a stewardess in the aisle leaning over. I wipe my eyes, catching the furious red color my wrists had become, before turning to her. "Uh, you missed your meal earlier and I was wondering if there was anything I could get you?" She looked uncomfortable now, glancing between my red eyes, red nose, and now red wrists and presumably red neck. I glanced over the menu she handed me, ordering a full meal. She dropped the food off and scurried away, not meeting my eyes.

The meal was laid out beautifully; tomato soup, grilled cheese and grilled chicken with a slice of cheesecake. Yet, I couldn't seem to muster the strength to eat. It didn't really seem appetizing, and I wasn't hungry.

The last time you ate was over 10 HOURS ago, and that wasn't even a full meal. C'mon, one bite. I picked up the fork, but simply twirled it in my hand, watching the metal catch the light. You'll get a raging headache if you don't eat soon. Might get that deep vein thrombosis. I take a bite of the chicken, tasting nothing despite its obvious layer of seasoning. I swallowed it with half a glass of water. It felt thick, heavy, almost like swallowing a rock. But I had to eat. When I didn't immediately throw up, I set up my phone to play a cache of 65 action movies to distract myself and started eating bit by bit. I could tell I was drinking a ridiculous amount of water, but the stewardess replaced my glass without it ever going entirely empty so I didn't really notice how much I had downed. She cleared my tray when I was done, and I just kept watching movies. Whenever I thought I was going to fall asleep, I'd crank the volume up, scroll forward to fight scenes and take a drink of sprite. I was about 4 movies in when I threw off my headphones, whimpering with how severe my headache had gotten despite eating and drinking water.

"Good morning passengers, it is 10 pm and we're about to start our final descent so if you could all please put up your trays and turn off the wifi in your electronics, we'll be landing shortly." Not gonna lie, the time zone jump threw me for a minute, I had taken a second to figure out how we made the flight in 8 hours instead of 19. I shoved everything into my bag, forcing the zipper closed. I wanted to put on some rock or pop punk songs, “Battle On!” seeming weirdly appealing, even though I hadn't heard it in a while. I felt a vein in my neck twitch, so I settled on music from the swan lake instead.

The second we touched down I was up. I only had my backpack so I was able to squeeze by people, ignoring protests and complaints to get off the plane. Off the plane, past the luggage claim, I was going down the escalator when I spotted them. Advika was talking to Zay, looking mad as hell, but she noticed me first. She ran over and almost tackled me to hug me, Zay taking my bag. "Princessa, baby girl, I'm so sorry." She cries into my hair, "I didn't think he was an asshole, oh god, how could he do that to you!"

"We have the plane ready to go," Zay says, joining in on the hug. I let Advika cling to me as we make our way to the opposite side of the airport. Once we're in a more private area, Advika speaks up again.

"I'm going to kill him. How fucking dare he!" She squeezed my hand, and now started pulling me towards the airplane.

"Isn't that Rosella's line?" Zay prods before looking back at me. "But in all seriousness, we will absolutely end him, just say the word. Don't even say it, blink morse code, ASL, anything." I keep my mouth shut and let Advika continue to rave about the different ways she'll end Damian; financially, socially, whatever I wanted. We went out onto the runway and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"The company jet? Isn't that a bit much?" I say as Zay escorts us in, before heading to the back.

"The boss said it's okay. Nearly bit my head off when I called to ask but said it was ok. You did help establish our company in the foreign market," Advika takes a seat but gestures for me to lay down on the couch. "No offense mi princessa, but you look like a fucking mess. Please take a nap."

"I don't know if I can do that," I say, letting out a long sigh. Zay comes back, handing Advika a small purse and laying a platter of cheese and crackers on the table across from us. He sets up instrumental music, from “Carmen” if I'm not mistaken, as Advika takes my hat off and starts combing my hair. I lay back into her, letting her brush out my hair, counting her impeccable pattern. 2 squirts from a spray bottle to moisten my hair, 10 brush strokes. 2 then 10 then 2 then 10. My eyes started feeling heavy so I forced myself to take a deep breath and sit up. The motion made her accidentally yank my hair and woke me a bit. As she apologized I alternated my breathing patterns to try to stay awake, noticing for the first time that we were already in the air.

"Please, just go to sleep," Advika begged, grabbing my hands and forcing me to look at her. I stared at her for a moment before answering.

"I did... on the plane. I dreamed of him. The disorientation of waking up made me think I was on my way to my honeymoon," I let out a bitter laugh and she flinches, looking over to Zay, unsure what to say.

"You look pale," Zay interjects. He comes over to me, placing a hand on my head and then my neck. He doesn't comment on the marks, but he and Advika share a look. "Change your clothes, drink some water, then these, we don't want you getting sick." He puts 2 pills in my hands before going off to find me some water.

"Yeah, getting sick is the absolute worst thing that can happen to me right now. How silly of me," I roll my eyes and Advika snorts, trying to mask her laughter. I leave the Nyquil pills on the couch and get changed. I come back and take the pills, leaning into Advika again so she can continue to play with my hair. She spoke about anything and everything, filling the silence with her happy chatter. Undoubtedly, she was trying to distract my conscious so if I did dream again, it wouldn't be about him. It worked, her happy banter following me into my dreamless slumber.

-------------------

I awoke to Zay gently shaking me, thankfully a lot less disoriented than last time. I gather up my things, helping myself to the bottles of water they had around. I ignore the bandages wrapped around my wrist, but the one on my throat was quickly starting to freak me out. Advika seemed to sense my discomfort, immediately coming over and cutting the bandages off.

"Sorry, your skin seemed a bit raw so we wrapped it up," she explains calmly, alternating to rubbing her hand up and down my arm to soothe me.

"S'ok," I mumble, taking my bag from Zay.

"We called you a cab -it got here a couple of minutes ago-, but you're more than welcome to stay with either of us back in Mongolia. Neha and Juniper also moved here ya know, I'm sure she'd-" I cut Zay off with a shake of my head, and follow him out of the plane.

"I just really want to be alone for a while, ya know?" As alone as I can be with my differing opinions yelling at me and my endless train of thought that does NOT SHUT UP. Zay nodded but Advika grabbed my arm before I could hail the cab closer to the plane.

"I know you want to be alone- and you absolutely do need some time alone, this is going to be a lot to process- but...." She hesitated, biting her lip. "I know how you can get Ro. don't even try to argue with me on this. Please, take some time, but do not hesitate to call me or anyone else." Would this be a bad time to throw up? That's one way to diverge the conversation. Advika held me but I wouldn't meet her eyes. "You know what? If you don't check in with me in a week I will track you down and drag you to live with me. I'm not joking. Do you understand" I want to protest, but then I remember she didn't even have my phone number. Game on. I agree and they both give me a hug before I board the cab.

"Good morning"

"Good morning, where should I take you?" ah. another thing that I hadn't thought of. Without even bothering to check my bag, I knew I didn't have my keys. But I knew someone who might. I give the cab driver an address and I pull out my phone. But I can't even ask because I don't remember her number. I sigh, hoping things hadn't changed as much as I thought.

We're in downtown Seoul before I can start properly stressing myself with the "what ifs". Had she moved? What if she didn't have the key? Would she yell at me for arriving at... Almost 3 am? I decided to do the math to distract myself, reworking the math on how a 4-hour flight turned into a 5-hour flight for a solid 10 minutes before I realized that I had not taken another time zone into play. Small miracles were on my side today. Yesterday? Tomorrow? Whatever the fuck day it is. Since it was so early, there wasn't much in the way of traffic, and the doorman was the same one that had been here when I lived her for however long it was. I explained to him that I was here to see Hong and after some reluctance, he let me in.

Up the elevator to the fifth door, doors opening to crisp air, reminiscent of fall. Exactly 30 steps forward to a door with 4 pastel sierra sunset decorations on the door. I knock, timidly at first as to not wake the neighbors. In 5 minutes, again, a little louder. I did this for an hour before I gave up and simply stood there with my head on the door.

"Hong. Hooooonnnngggggg" I whined quietly. Wow, thank goodness it's so early, everyone would think you're a creeper. lmaooo just imagine getting arrested your first day back. I whined into the door, contemplating just sleeping out here.

"Rosella?" a soft voice came from behind me. I turn to see Hong with Geo's arm around her. There were 2 more people behind her but I barely had the awareness to nod as a greeting. "What are you doing here? Wasn't yesterday your-" She stops, noticing that my lip had begun to tremble.

"Rosella-" she comes over and wraps her arms around me, hiding my face from view of the others. Someone unlocks the door and she drags me inside. The sequins on her dress start to itch, but I continue to hug her. Once I'm ready to let go, she sits me down and goes to change her outfit while Geo sits with me. in awkward silence for a while.

"Rose, what happened?" He eventually asks, sliding over a glass of ice water. "I thought your wedding was yesterday. Wasn't your honeymoon suppose to be in Europe?" I couldn't seem to muster the strength to answer, simply staring at him and sighing.

"You have no tact," Hong comments, combing back in her usual floral pjs. She flops down next to me, placing her hand on mine. "You don't have to tell us now, but I would like for you to tell us eventually." I can't help but smile, she always has a soothing air to her. It's impossible to be mad or upset near her. " I have some clothes you can borrow; I have friends over today so you'll have to take the couch, but you can have the guest room tomorrow." I shake my head, forcing myself to pull away from her motherly touch.

"I could never impose on you, I was just wondering if you have my spare key? I really want to go home." I let my voice crack at the end, hoping she wouldn't push for me to stay here. Geo looked at me like I was crazy, staring particularly long at my single backpack.

"Okay. Geo, could you get her key? It's in the top dresser with a purple tip," Hong nods to him and he leaves. " I do feel the need to remind you that you pretty much purged the place when you left. I don't remember the last time I visited either, so its probably super dusty too."

"I'll make do for tonight. I'll go to the store tomorrow for food and cleaning supplies, ok?"

"You'd better, you forgetful dip stick," Geo grunts as he hands me the key. "Actually, we could probably find somewhere open rn. We could swing by and-"

"I was actually going to walk home it's a nice night and-"

"Absolutely not." Hong interrupted me, sounding her top tier forceful. "I know you've been through some shit in the last 48 hours but I'm not going to let you commit suicide by stupidity!" I took a minute to process this, for a second I thought I was back in Gotham.

"It's not far... I only have my backpack and the crime rates here aren't even that high Hong. You know I took mi-"

"Yes yes, I know about your MMA history, but I draw the line. I don't know how much the others have let you get away with but you are not walking alone at night!" I don't fight her, letting her drag me to her car, Geo driving. We're at my complex within minutes.

"Take care of yourself Rosie." Hong says, giving me a half hug through the car window, Geo simply putting a hand on my head. "I'll come to check up on you- and if you don't answer the door I'll call the cops" she threatened before letting go.

"Thank you, seriously, this is so great that you had my key, and for dropping me off." I hesitate before heading up. "If you don't mind me asking, how long have you two been dating?" Geo's blush was extremely visible against his skin, even in the shadows.

"It's that obvious huh? We've been together for about 5 months," Hong replied, blushing as well.

"I always thought you two would look cute together," I said, this time with a genuine smile. I wave them off and opt to take the stairs up. I opened the door to my apartment.

It's freezing, dust dancing in the waning moonlight. I set my bag down, pulling out another change of clothing from what I had bought at the airport. I threw it into the bathroom before heading over to my emergency closet. Never though the emergency stash would be used like this. Maybe we shouldn't use it? Earth shattering heartbreak is too an emergency, fuck off. I'll restock it anyways. I pull out some towels and bath supplies. I get in the shower, letting the steaming hot water run over me.

Since when have I not been able to feel my fingers? I ask myself, flexing them one by one. It's like the stakeout in Boston that one winter, Dick brought us hot chocolate-

No. Don't even. Dust! This place is messy and I want to properly disinfect it- unconsciously increasing the pressure with my loofah- I'll need Lysol, tide pods, scrubs, dish rags. Probably should buy more plates too. Damian always had a peculiar adoration for matching cutlery sets, when he bought me some ramen bowls-

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW! I jerk up, my hand immediately going to my upper spine. I breathe in too quickly, taking in some water. I pull open the curtain and lean over the tub, cough and sputtering, trying to catch my breath.

"What- the- fuck-" I manage to gasp out. I was sitting down in the tub, I guess I had fallen asleep???? I shake the drowsiness off, turning off the water and getting out. Despite, or maybe because of, my broken sleep this last day I was still exhausted once I had gotten changed and my heartbeat had slowed down. I looked to my room door, but collapsed on the sofa, letting the musty leather suffocate me to sleep as my bones sunk into the couch.

Chapter 3: Safehouse

I awoke the same way I fell asleep.

Suffocating.

I wanted to get up, find a tissue to blow my nose, but every muscle in me ached a million ways. Did I fall off the empire state building while I was asleep? Did some cannibal beat me with a meat tenderizer for hours and just leave me on this couch? Holy FUCK.

Even twisting my face away from the couch so I could get some fresh air strained my neck. Every joint felt dislocated, limbs lifeless like a broken marionette. The dust. Allergies. I can't breathe...

Can't breathe

Suffocating! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE- I panic, throwing myself off the couch. Landing on the ground actually didn't cause any more pain. I laid there for a minute, mentally trying to put my joints back in their sockets. It isn't a large enough distraction, and I'm soon hyper-aware of everything. My skin was burning where the sunlight touched, the dust in the air was so heavy I could have sworn I lost my vision again. I could hear the meaningless hustle of cars and people outside on the sidewalk, but worst of all was my pounding heartbeat in my ears.

THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP THUMP-THUMP

I forced myself to get up, groaning as all my muscles pinched as they got back into place. I made a lot of unnecessary noise as I cleaned up my mess from last night. Throwing the shower caddy under the sink, flipping my backpack and letting everything fall out, slamming my dirty clothes into a pile in a corner. And I couldn't help but look around every couple of minutes, not entirely understanding where I was. Trying and failing to compensate for the noises that usually find me when I wake up. When I threw open the balcony windows, I realized I was still waiting to hear another window slide open and a soft "I'm home", even though it was well past noon.

How wild would it be if he actually went on parole after all that? Would a fight have broken out? Would it have been like the whole Owls mishap again?

Get your head out of your ass, they're his family; blood is thicker than water.

Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

He's been helping and fighting alongside them much longer than you have you dip. I storm into the kitchen, only grunting as I smash my hip against the counter. I set out 4 pages of stationary in front of me and made lists; food, clothes, furniture, extra. I took my papers and started walking around, jotting notes of what I needed. Talking to fill the void.

"More toilet paper, hand soap, towels," I hum under my breath, not really checking the cabinets. "As for clothes I should-" my voice caught when I walked into the bedroom. It was freezing. I reflexively bit my lip, eyes watering. Instead of goosebumps, this cold sat in my stomach. The same cold in my hands, from the airplane seat, returned- lacing up my arms, down my stomach and legs. Stabbing my heart and restricting my lungs.

I'm alone.

"I should buy like 4 interchangeable outfits," the whimper barely sounded through the silent tears. I shut the door tight, almost running back to the living room. I sat just outside the ring of light, hunching over my paper. "Jeans, underwear, toothpasTE-" I sniffled but my vision only got blurrier.

"BoOKcASes, a bEd, mayBE a BeAr," my heart squeezed every time my voice broke, and in seconds I couldn't write on the soaked paper. The hiccups were my only air, snot streaking my trembling chin.

"What did I do? What. diD. I DOOO?" I sobbed, wailing into my hands. I curled around a leg of the coffee table, letting its corners cut into my stomach. Wailing until I was dry heaving, scratching my eyes to get rid of these acidic tears, blowing my nose with my shirt- moist blotches sticking to my skin. "Day- Damian" I cried to myself until I passed out again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Afternoons spent silently reading with each other

Matching outfits for galas, some he designed himself, just for me

Our home downtown- bought to have some peace and quiet from his family. Although half the time they broke in, the other half we ended up back in the manor.

Traveling for work, for fun, for missions he didn't think were dangerous.

Sparring with Jason and Cass.

Jason showing me a hundred new bands when I got him into new music genres, trying to help each other find less aggressive ways to vent. Giving him the cream to completely erase the J from his cheek was different, the first time I saw him cry. He understood that blood family wasn't always loyal, and that I didn't mean it when I'd punch or insult someone to hide softer feelings.

Cass just vibing, understanding me and letting me get close. She was always the first to come help me when I was hurt, I became the person she could cry to. The way her face lit up when we were just able to chill a whole night, singing, watching movies and simply understanding each other on a fundamental level.

Barbra growing aggravated as she tried to teach me how to do more with technology than just googling things. Her forgiving my stupidity after I built her a new computer.

The long talks I had with Dick. Anything and everything. The first time hurt, when I called him out. He was giddy and chipper, dramatic as ever but when he caught me staring and stopped for long enough to look back, the pain in his eyes was clear as day. He had just broken up with Kory after all. He didn't need to lie, he didn't need to lighten the mood, he just needed to be honest. But once he could smile honestly again, I couldn't help but remember that he was the one who found out about me and Damian first. He'd been there to spy on our first date, hiding it from Bruce. He was the first to take me out for ice cream then subtly threaten my life if I harmed Damian, the first to swing by for spontaneous days out. To get to know me, to see if I was right for Damian.

Stephanie, Tim and I bonding over teasing and pranking Damian.

Tim and I being forced into caffeine and sleep interventions. Coffee and Coke. And then the beautiful irony of us falling asleep halfway through, especially after I taught him how to sleep with his eyes open.

Cooking with Alfred, learning his famous cookie recipes. Showing him more authentic Hispanic recipes, and him comforting me and being the first to compliment me after I was duped into cooking for the ENTIRE family.

Philosophical and political discussions with Bruce. Talks about war and power, cultural similarities and their origins. Talks about Damian as a child to mess with him. Opening up about paranoia, fear of losing loved ones, the controversies of being "too much" for some people. He understood, sometimes the ultimate sacrifices had to be made in a second. He understood because he was the same. We'd give up our lives before anyone else.

It's all gone.

So much of my past, and now, my whole future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's cold. i stripped off my shirt and blew my nose.

blood. eww, it's hot. i hold my shirt to my nose, crawling under the table, balling up until i could feel all 4 legs pressing into me.

tuneless humming, watching the room light up until my eyes burn.

I have to pee.

I wash my hands, the water making me aware of my bone dry mouth. My tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. I let the water pour through my fingers for another minute before walking away, laying back under the coffee table.

long grains. shades of brown. like dead grass. my fingers run over the million tiny bumps watching the wood fade from a blurry brown to a million tiny wooden grains.

My hair is on fire. The sun reaches it from under the table.

There are people in the hallway. They're as loud as the cars outside.

the ac is running. i start humming to drown it out.

i'm melting. i force my eyes to blink but they continue to burn.

I can't breathe. I stagger to the bathroom and after a few minutes of moving my jaw up and down, my mouth manages to open. I swig some water before throwing some on my face. fever? headache at least. I grab a towel to wipe my face, fumbling back into the hall. fuck was i looking directly at the sun? there is only one place colder than the sun. i walk to my bedroom, the cold imperceptible to me now.

but the second i put my eyes directly onto the empty bed frame, i could almost hear them sizzle. it exhausted me. I hadn't realized how hot my face was until i laid it on the floor. like a refreshing bath, calming. i just focused on my heat being transferred to the floor, unaware that I was falling asleep again.

((The writing for the last chapter is intentionally like that, I was attempting to write Rose being in a type of disassociated kind of state; where you aren't aware of time passing, noting seems real, even things in your immediate vicinity. Knowing that you should be doing something, drinking water, changing clothes, listening to music, ANYTHING-but still not doing it. The capitalization/simple sentences and repetition on the latter part was intentional. ))

#I dont know #i guess i wanted to see how/if my writing's changed #YES THIS IS WHERE I GOT THE THING FOR DIAVOLO'S DADS LETTER I REALLY LIKED IT SO I REUSED IT #I couldnt come up with a nice transitory chapter about Rose's friends coming to check on her/ reminding her that she's her own person/#coming back to gotham #BUT THEY DEF DONT GET BACK TOGETHER #not obey me!#NOT OBEY ME #Not OM!#Ozera nonsense

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Stark Spangled Banner

One Shot: Ask Questions, Throw Shield Later.

Intro: Steve and Katie have an unwelcome late night visitor…

Warnings: “Language!” Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

W/C: 1.9k

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: The first of two (yes, two) special 29th May Birthday One shots. Happy Birthday Tony! Man, I missed writing for these guys in this timeline! This fits into SSB within “I Told You I Said Yes”.

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“Fuck, Steve...” Katie groaned, her head tilting backwards as Steve gave another deep thrust upwards, “right there... Jesus.”

“Good?” Steve panted as his hands grabbed her waist, finger tips digging into the flesh that covered her hipbones.

She nodded, grinding on him faster, his hands pulling her down making sure he hit as deep as he could.

Their soft, intimate sounds filled the room and, wanting to be as close to her as he could get, Steve sat up drawing a gasp from Katie as he did so. His hands moved to her back. One splayed half way up her spine, the other cupped the back of her head. His fingers tangled in her long, silky hair as he pulled her face to his. He kissed her, hard, his tongue dominating hers as he swallowed her moan, one that rumbled in her throat as if it came from the depths of her belly.

They’d already danced this tango once already that night. After a few beers with the team in anticipation of Tony’s birthday (minus Natasha as she was still on something Fury was running), they’d retired and gotten a little frisky some two hours prior. But then Steve had woken, his super sharp hearing alerting himself to some form of ransom noise deep in the floors below them and, well, he couldn’t get back to sleep. So he’d hugged Katie close.

Too close.

As ever he was unable to control his reactions to his girl and had ended up with a boner. Meaning she’d woken with him basically rutting up against her back, feigning innocence when she’d given him a grumble at the fact he’d dragged her from her slumber.

She hadn’t been grumbling for long.

“Stevie... I’m gonna...” Katie’s forehead pressed into his, her mouth open as her lips hovered over his, and he thrust upwards again, his nose brushing hers softly, like the touch of a butterfly.

“Let go. Doll,” he panted, actively fighting his own high, “cum for me.”

Her chest heaved, pert nipples brushing his bare skin and her movements stuttered. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, which cracked into a half grunt, half moan as she felt herself go, her body positively floating from her high.

By the time she came round, Steve had also finished, his broad shoulders rising and falling as he gathered his breath. Katie collapsed forward with a soft chuckle, her forehead pressing into his collar bone as he fell backwards, taking her with him.

They lay still for a moment, the only sounds being their heavy breathing and the soft rustle of sheets as Steve pulled the bedding up around them. The smooth cotton brushing over her sensitive skin made Katie shudder a little. Steve smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, his large hands running up and down her spine.

“Am I forgiven for waking you up?” He asked and she shrugged, not even bothering to try and find the strength to sit up. “It’s three AM. I’ll think about it.”

Steve chuckled and she sat up slightly, leaning down to give him a slow kiss.

“Love you.” she pulled back a little, her eyes shining in the dim light, and Steve smiled.

“Love you too.”

Fifteen minutes later they were both settled down and on the verge of sleep once more when a loud crashing in the apartment made them both sit bolt upright.

“What the...” Steve was out of bed in a flash, wrenching the door to their room open.

Katie was seconds behind him, stopping only to grab Steve’s shirt from the chair at the vanity. As she shrugged it on, she ran into the hallway and heard a familiar metallic whoosh. There was the squealing of metal on metal and Katie flicked on the light just in time to see a flash of blue, red and white as Steve’s shield flew back to his hand. He looked over to Katie as she stepped towards him, her mouth falling.

“Is that...” she glanced down at what looked like a version of one of Tony’s suits. It lay motionless on the floor in two pieces, Steve’s shield having severed it at the waist. The failing electrics sparked as the various boards and cogs died, before it fell silent.

Steve nudged it with his foot. It didn’t move. He turned to Katie, a frown on his handsome face.

“Did he tell you he was making them autonomous?”

“That’s nothing new, JARVIS has always been able to control them remotely.” Katie shook her head as she crouched down, her hand gently touching the helmet. She tried to move the face plate but it didn’t open. Rapping her knuckles on the skull, she was met with a solid sound, not the usual hollow echo. “JARVIS?”

There was no reply.

“Why isn’t he answering?” Steve looked at her.

“Tony might have him down.” Katie answered. “He runs the updates at night some times. I do know one thing though.”

“What?” Steve asked as she stood up.

“That couldn’t have gotten in here without Tony letting it in one way or another.” She glanced at Steve, her pretty face full of annoyance. “Imma kill him, fucking idiot.”

She turned to leave and Steve gently caught her arm. “Honey...”

“Seriously? You want me to let this go?”

“Hell, no.” He shook his head, “I want you to wait for me to put some clothes on.”

Despite herself, Katie grinned as her eyes scanned Steve’s naked body, his shield still on his arm. He rolled his eyes and nodded to the suit on the floor, “I’m going to give him his property back, along with a piece of my mind.” **** Tony spun round, his brow arching as Steve and Katie walked into the lab. But whatever smart quip he had been about to come out with died as he spotted what was slung over the super soldier’s broad shoulders. With a loud slam, Steve threw the two parts of the robot down on the desk.

“What did you do to it?” Tony moaned.

“Threw my shield at it.” Steve folded his arms over his chest, the sleeves of the white ribbed Tee he had shrugged on straining over his thick biceps.

Tony was that distracted by his destroyed robot that he failed to notice Katie stomping towards him. She drew her right fist back and punched him hard on the shoulder.

“Ow, Kiddo!”

“You dick!” She yelled. “What the hell were you doing sending that into our apartment?”

“Wanted to test your reaction to it.” Tony shrugged. “See how it came across.”

“How it ca- Tony, it’s half past 3 in the morning!” She shrieked.

“Exactly.” Tony scratched his beard. “Total element of surprise. I thought you guys would give me a base of how people would react to them. Can’t have been that well if Spangles felt the need to cut it in half with his frisbee.”

“We had no idea what or who it was.” Steve felt his anger beginning to rise, “what was I supposed to do?”

“I’ve told you before, big guy. Ask questions, throw shield later.” Tony shrugged, “I can’t believe you killed Iron Kid.”

“Iron Kid?” Katie blinked.

“Yeah, the name’s a working progress.”

“Tony, what is it?” Steve pressed.

“It’s a prototype.” Tony informed them. “I had the idea last week. The Avengers exploded after New York. You should see the piles of fan mail that the guys downstairs sort each day.”

“Less bragging, more explaining.” Katie narrowed her eyes.

“The point is, we attract attention. So I had a thought about something that could help keep the public at bay,” Tony gestured to the pile of metal, “we can use them to issue instructions, help aid the emergency services. Keep civilians out of the way.”

Katie and Steve looked at one another, and Steve hated to admit it but the idea made sense.

Sorta.

“Clearly I need to rethink a little.” Tony mused. “I mean if they freaked you out then...” “It freaked us out because it was in. our. apartment!” Katie groaned. “In the middle of the night.”

“That’s the point, it was supposed to have the element of surprise, wake you up.”

“Well there’s your first fuck up!” She hissed. “We were already awake-“

“Why?” Tony frowned

“Because we just finished a great, sweaty sex session.” She shot back and Steve groaned, feeling the heat in his neck as he looked down, his bare toes flexing against the cool floor of the lab. “And you wanna be grateful we had finished because if we hadn’t I’d be really, really mad. You get me?”

“That’s.. disgusting.” Tony wrinkled his nose.

“And you’re an asshole.” Katie shot back.

With a shudder, Tony moved and picked up a screwdriver. He turned the helmet up aside down and opened a small hatch at the back. Stooping slightly, he prodded and poked at something inside.

“Huh, least the main board wasn’t damaged.” He straightened up and turned to face them both. “So, other than scaring the shit out of you what was it like? Voice interface okay? Too much me or not enough me or-“

“There was no voice interface.” Steve replied.

“What?” Tony frowned, “JARVIS was supposed to be controlling it. It should have told you why it was there and-“

“Well he didn’t.” Steve rolled his eyes, his already stretched patience wearing dangerously thin.

“He didn’t...huh?” Tony frowned and Katie moved past him to a computer.

“Oh for the... he’s on mute you dumbass!” She tapped a few buttons and JARVIS’ voice rang out.

“Thank you Miss Stark.”

“Shit.” Tony gave a sheepish grin. “Sorry, buddy. Forgot I turned you off.”

“Mr Stark, may I suggest you call it a night, Sir? It is rather late and you’ve been awake for almost twenty-one hours. Miss Potts instructed me to ensure you-“ “And that is precisely why I did.” Tony rolled his eyes and Katie let out a growl of annoyance

“I’m done. Come on, Steve.”

She stalked towards the door and Tony looked up. “You not gonna wish me happy birthday?”

In response she raised the middle fingers on both her hands, flipping him off over her shoulders as she stomped out of the door.

Steve watched her go before she turned to Tony. “You know, I think you’re onto something. Keeping civilians away would make things a lot easier.”

“Wouldn’t it?” Tony nodded, eagerly. “We’d need a fleet of them, an Iron Fleet, no that’s... like i said, the names a work in progress.”

“We can discuss this tomorrow. Give it some proper though.” Steve took a deep breath. “Just don’t send any more into the apartment, please?”

Tony saluted him and Steve rolled his eyes. He turned to go before he stopped, and looked back at his friend.

“Happy birthday, pal.”

Tony snorted. “Cheers, Spangles.”

Tony watched Steve walk out of the lab, before he glanced back at the destroyed robot.

“Mr Stark... Miss Potts is awake...”

“Ahh shit.” Tony groaned. “How much trouble am I in?”

“I don’t think a Roman Legion would protect you.” JARVIS replied and Tony stilled, a huge grin spreading across his face.

“Iron Legion.” He tossed the screwdriver up in the air and caught it, chuckling. “JARVIS, you are a genius.”

“Why thank you, sir. And now I really must insist you go to bed.”

“Yeah, okay, I’m going. Lock everything down will you? Oh, and order us all breakfast from the diner on the corner of fifth.”

“Of course. The usual?”

“Yeah. Have it delivered about 10:30. Should be enough to calm Kiddo down.”

“Very wise Sir. I’ll ensure there’s extra bacon, just in case.”

“Yeah, who doesn’t love extra bacon?”

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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kaffeinic · 4 years

Text

Seventeen Boyfriend!AU: Joshua

Boyfriend headcann for Vernon Scoups and josh from svt please? Uwu koffee lovers is so fuckin cute btw I’m using it forever. - 👽

- 👽 Anon

Could you please write a bf au for Jisoo in seventeen? Thanks so much! I love the blog and Jesus Christ koffee lovers 😆

- Anon

Ouh I see u have the boyfriend headcannons goin! Could we get Joshua svt and v from bts?

- Anon

Confession

A whole ass gentleman

Josh is the type to make note of whether or not you like things like flowers, chocolates, etc.

If you did, he would bring one/multiple of those

If you weren’t,

Which he could admire, in a sense

He would take you somewhere private

With or without a gift lol

And take hold of one of your hands

And gently ask you to a date

With his sweet smile

And slightly red cheeks

First Date

Again, this depends more on what he knows you like

If you enjoy fancy restaurants

You know, the finer things in life

He would gladly bring you to the best restaurant in the city

If not,

He would also gladly make a picnic or invite you to his house

Let’s assume he doesn’t live with twelve other men in this scenario

He would try his best to show you how special you are to him

And help you to have a great time with him

Skinship

I imagine he would take it very slowly at first

Not only do I think he would be a little nervous to initiate those things,

But he didn’t know how comfortable you would be

He only got the message when you started to show a little more interest in skinship in general

Pecks on his lips,

Holding his hands,

Hugging him all the time,

You get it

Once he was sure you were okay with it,

And he was comfortable himself,

The man would be all over you

And I don’t mean this in a smutty way

At least not in the beginning 😏

He would be very into holding your hand in public

And maybe a peck on the cheek/forehead/lips every now and then

But he would keep his hands to himself for the most part in public

While alone/with the boys

He’d be very cuddly

Always playing with your hair and snuggling into your neck/laying his head in your lap

Essentially,

He’s very cute with it

Fights

He’s a passive person most of the time

I can’t see him fighting with you much

I actually see you guys getting into fights about him not fighting with you lol whut

Him giving you virtually everything you want can get on your nerves after a while

It’s only because you know he will grow to resent you eventually

And you both want to be in it for the long haul

Once you guys got past that,

The only fights you’d really have would be about mundane, petty things

They would resolve fairly easily due to Josh’s calm attitude

If you have a calm disposition, that’ll help, too

You both still got along quite well

Because you both had respect and love for each other

Hey~! I hope you all enjoy this one! As a reminder, let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist. You can choose to be tagged for everything, or be more specific, such as only svt content/only Joshua content. I hope you’re all happy and healthy~

* DISCLAIMER: I do not own any gifs/photos used in this post. I do own the written content. Do NOT repost/edit. *

🏷 @ace-marvel-chick • @hoshithehamster • @johnnys-wifeu • @pyr-owo-maniac • @ethereal-chanracha • @midnatwlp • @royalhvangs • @yoongi--enthusiast • @woozi-is-164-cm

#kpop #fanfictions #headcannons #imagines #ships #seventeen #svt #17 #joshua #josh #joshua hong #josh hong #hong jisoo #jisoo #boyfriend #boyfriend!au #timestamps

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angelofthequeers · 5 years

Text

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Of course I damn well redesigned Rena Rouge’s suit. If I’m known for anything, I hope it’ll be for female suit salt.

Chapter 18 | Chapter 20 | AO3 link

“Master?” Ladybug’s saying as Chat Noir enters the room for their weekly meeting. Master Fu hums and nods for her to continue. “Why don’t we ever…no, don’t worry, it’s silly.”

“There’s no such thing as a silly question, Ladybug,” Master Fu says.

“I was just wondering…” Ladybug trails her fingers over the Fox necklace in the open Miracle Box between them, then the Bee comb. “Why don’t we hand out more Miraculouses?”

“I was wondering the same thing,” Chat Noir says. Ladybug smiles at him when he crosses over to sit down next to her. “We’re not the only ones learning how our Miraculouses work. And there’ve been a few times where we could’ve done with a bit of help, especially when I’m the one hit by the akumas.”

“If the Lucky Charm indicates that you need the help of an ally, I’m willing to allow you to choose one,” Master Fu says. “But I already took an enormous risk by putting two Miraculouses into circulation, especially the two that Hawkmoth is after. More Miraculouses in the world gives Hawkmoth more chances.”

“Well, Chat and I haven’t lost ours,” Ladybug says. “And we’ve had some close calls because we had to figure things out as we went. If we do eventually need an ally, wouldn’t it be a good thing to have one who’s already got experience?”

“Ladybug’s right,” Chat Noir says. “If we throw someone into battle with us for the first time, it’d make it easier for Hawkmoth to get their Miraculous.”

“We don’t even have to let them keep the Miraculous like we do,” Ladybug says when it looks like Master Fu is wavering. “We could give it to them when we need them and then take it back after each battle. Or each time we train them.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Ladybug and I are an unstoppable team,” Chat Noir says with a grin at Ladybug, who smiles and nudges him in return. “But we’ve got timers and we seem to have less experience than Hawkmoth. It couldn’t hurt to train up a few people in case we need help every now or then. Or in case Hawkmoth does something big.”

“Hmm…” Master Fu strokes his grey beard. “Both of you raise excellent points. I’m just wary after the last time I made a mistake…”

“You’ve mentioned that mistake before, but what was it?” Ladybug says. Master Fu looks her and Chat Noir straight in the eye, and Chat Noir swallows at the ancient heaviness behind Master Fu’s eyes.

“The destruction of the Guardians’ temple and the loss of every Miraculous except the ones I have here,” he says. Ladybug and Chat Noir blink.

“Oh…” Ladybug says softly.

“Master,” Wayzz says. “If I may?”

“Of course you may,” Master Fu says. “You know you’re always welcome to speak, Wayzz.”

“I think that Ladybug and Chat Noir are correct,” Wayzz says. “There will come a time when they need help, and it would be best to have prepared themselves for that eventuality. You know that they wouldn’t hand out a Miraculous to anyone they didn’t trust with their lives. And…you can’t keep allowing one mistake to haunt you to this degree, Master. It was over a century ago, and you’ve seen and learned so much since then.”

“We’ve proven that it wasn’t a mistake to trust us with these Miraculouses,” Ladybug says.

“Now, let us prove that you can trust us with others as well,” Chat Noir adds.

For a long while, Master Fu simply stares down at the Miraculous Box, his face completely unreadable to Chat Noir. It feels like an eternity before Master Fu looks back up at them and smiles.

“You’re right,” he says. “You’ve proven that you can both be trusted with the two most important Miraculouses, and it would be foolish to throw a new hero into a battle with a stronger Hawkmoth. Pick a Miraculous and an ally you can trust, and I will allow you to introduce them tonight, should they accept. They may also keep their Miraculous, as the holder’s bond with their kwami is vital for ensuring they are as attuned to their powers as possible, but the responsibility to retrieve the Miraculous if the need arises rests entirely on the two of you. If this ally works out, I will eventually entrust the other two within this tier to you.”

“I think we should pick the Fox and give it to Alya Césaire,” Ladybug says immediately.

“That…was quick,” Chat Noir says. “Any reason why?”

“Oh!” Ladybug’s cheeks pinken. “I’m sorry, Chat. I should’ve asked you.”

“No, no, I don’t mind. You’re the one with the killer instincts, milady. I’m just curious.”

“Well…” Ladybug chews her lip. “Alya’s the Ladyblogger, right? She’s already familiar with our job. And she loves us, so I know she’d never betray us. Also…maybe she’ll have a new appreciation for our secret identities if she’s got one of her own?”

“Makes sense,” Chat Noir says. “But why the Fox? Alya’s a pretty forceful person…from what I’ve seen.”

“Trixx is a crafty kwami,” Ladybug says. “I think he would be a good influence on Alya and help balance out that forcefulness. And the Fox corresponds to wood, right? That push to grow and hang back to get the facts first could be just what Alya needs, especially after why she was akumatised into Lady Wifi.”

“Huh. I never thought about that,” Chat Noir says. “Well, milady, I’m totally on board.”

“Excellent.” Master Fu removes the Fox necklace from its slot and carefully places it in a tiny box, just like the one that Chat Noir’s ring had come in. “Good luck, both of you.”

“Well, even if it flops, it’s better than being at home after the day I’ve had,” Chat Noir says.

“Poor kitty,” Ladybug coos and reaches out to scratch Chat Noir’s head behind his fake ears, making a loud purr rumble in his chest.

“Have you been talking to Marinette?” he complains. “Because it’s so not fair that you know my weak spots too.”

Ladybug giggles and scratches particularly hard and Chat Noir nearly lets out a mrow in response. Jesus Christ. If he ever actually does that in front of his lady, someone please end him.

“She seems happier when I see her now,” Ladybug says. “I take it that’s your doing?”

“Well, of course,” Chat Noir brags. “My charms are irresistible. I’m quite the cat-ch.”

“God help me,” Ladybug mutters. Although he’s sure that she’s just teasing him, Chat Noir can’t help but wonder…

“Is that…okay with you?” he says slowly. “Being close friends with a civilian? I still remember how you were when Lila said you were besties…”

“Of course it’s okay with me,” Ladybug says. “Lila was trying to use me to boost her own status and act like we were openly friends. You seem to genuinely like this Marinette girl and I know you wouldn’t do anything to endanger her and she wouldn’t spread the word just to make herself look good. And from what I’ve heard about your life, you could do with a good friend.”

“Aww, no one will ever replace you, milady,” Chat Noir teases, flopping across her lap. She rolls her eyes but thankfully continues to pet him, while Master Fu watches with a twinkle in his eyes. “But honestly…I’m happy you approve, Ladybug. Marinette’s really special.”

There’s something odd in Ladybug’s smile but, for the life of him, Chat Noir can’t possibly figure out what it could be. “I’m glad, kitty. She definitely sounds special.” With a sigh, she pushes his head off her lap and climbs to her feet in one graceful motion, then pulls him up. “Come on, Chat. We’ve got a baby superhero to meet. Thank you, Master!”

“But petting!” Chat Noir whines, though he still follows her out of the parlour.

“Behave yourself and I’ll give you all the petting you want later,” Ladybug says as they leap through Paris towards Alya’s house.

“Hmph. I’ll just go to Marinette for pets.”

“You do that, kitty.”

When they land on Alya’s balcony, she’s thoroughly engrossed in whatever she’s doing on her computer; probably some Ladyblog stuff. But Alya’s always had a sixth sense for superheroes, and as soon as their feet graze the balcony, her head whips up and her eyes start to glimmer at the sight that greets her.

“Ladybug! Chat Noir!” she cries when she bursts out onto her balcony. “What’s wrong? Is there an akuma? Do you need my help?”

“Not now, but we’ll need you in the future,” Chat Noir says cryptically. Ladybug rolls her eyes.

“Ignore him,” she says. “Mind if we kidnap you for an hour or two? This could change your life.”

“Um, yes!” Alya dances from foot to foot. “You can kidnap me anytime! And getting to help you guys? What’s going on?”

“How about we snatch this fair maiden first?” Chat Noir says, and Alya gives him a thoroughly unimpressed look and pointedly holds her arms out to Ladybug, who smirks and scoops her up. Then they’re off, bounding through Paris towards the Eiffel Tower, and Alya lets out a shriek of laughter and whoops as the wind whips through her hair and blows her curls all over the place. Once they’ve finally landed on the tip, safe from the view of Paris, Ladybug sets Alya down and laughs when Alya tries in vain to tame her windswept hair.

“So,” Alya says when she’s finally given up on fixing her wild curls. “What’s up, you guys? Do you need me to do something on the Ladyblog?”

“If this works out, you can’t breathe a word of it anywhere near the Ladyblog,” Ladybug says. “You can’t tell anyone. Not the Ladyblog, not even your friends or family.”

Alya’s eyes widen. “Whoa. That’s heavy. What is it?”

“Stop scaring her, bugaboo,” Chat Noir grins. “Like she’s gonna say no.”

“I’m just making sure she understands the responsibility that this entails!” Ladybug says.

“Okay, not that I’m not up for some Ladynoir banter,” Alya says, “but it might help if you guys actually tell me what’s going on.”

Ladybug sticks her tongue out at Chat Noir, then swipes the top of her yo-yo to open it up so that she can reach into the pool of bright light and extract the little Miraculous box. “Alya Césaire,” she says, holding the box out to a wide-eyed Alya, while Chat Noir silently sulks at the fact that his baton can’t do that, even though his suit has pockets when Ladybug’s doesn’t. “Here is the Miraculous of the Fox, which grants the power of illusion. Should you choose to accept, you will use it for the greater good whenever we need your help, then return it to us when the mission is complete.”

Chat Noir shoots her an odd look. Hadn’t Master Fu said that Alya could keep the Fox? Oh well, Ladybug’s always got a plan for everything, so he just has to assume that this is another plan of hers. And if she’s come up with it on the spot, he can’t very well ask her without tipping off Alya.

“No way,” Alya breathes. “For real? Me, a superhero?”

“Of course,” Chat Noir says. “Ladybug and I both thought you’d be a natural fit.”

“But your identity must remain a secret,” Ladybug says. “If we hear that you’ve told anyone then we won’t be able to give the Miraculous back to you. Unless the circumstances were unavoidable, of course. Accidents happen.”

“Of course not!” Alya says, once again bouncing from foot to foot. “I mean – of course! I won’t tell a soul!”

“Then welcome to the team, Ladyblogger,” Chat Noir grins as Ladybug indicates that Alya can take the little box. “Tonight’s just an orientation, but we’re gonna try and give you a few training nights so you’re not shoved into the thick of things like we were.”

“I will actually have both your babies for this,” Alya blurts out.

“I think that’s scientifically impossible with two uteruses, but sure,” Ladybug says with an amused little grin. Alya rolls her eyes, then snaps open the box and gasps and shields her eyes from the bright orange light that pours out of it.

“What is that thing?” Alya gasps. When the light fades to reveal a little orange fox kwami with mischievous violet eyes, her own eyes practically bulge out of her head.

“I’m not a thing!” Trixx says. “My name is Trixx and I’m your kwami!”

“Mind. Blown.” Alya feverishly examines Trixx from all angles. “You’re what gives Ladybug and Chat Noir their superpowers, right?”

“Not bad,” Trixx remarks to Ladybug and Chat Noir.

“She’s an expert,” Ladybug says.

“That’s one word for it,” Chat Noir says. Alya shoots him a very dirty look.

“So, what do you say?” Ladybug says. “You ready to become a superhero?”

“Do you even need to ask?” Alya shoots back.

“Then you just need to say one thing,” Trixx says. “Trixx, let’s pounce!”

“Trixx, let’s pounce!” Alya is enveloped in the same orange light that had introduced Trixx, and when it fades to reveal her fox outfit, she squeals and twists and turns to look at every little bit of it. She’s wearing a baggy, cropped orange jacket with a white chest, open over a tight, white-torsoed orange suit with a high black collar, along with white-palmed black gloves that look like they rise underneath her jacket sleeves. Her orange suit stops at her knees, meeting her orange-mottled black boots with orange fox paw prints on the white soles. Her black collar tapers into a sharp point where the fox tail of her active Miraculous rests, and there’s a wide strip of material wrapped around her waist that falls behind her in a black-outlined orange and white fox tail. Topping off her outfit are fake black-tipped orange fox ears with white insides, a mask that’s orange on the top half and white on the bottom half, a long flute strung across her back, and white-tipped hair that’s pulled back into a bushy ponytail. The more Chat Noir stares, the more he realises that it’s not just a ponytail; each thick bunch of curls forms a fox tail, with nine in total, giving her ponytail the illusion of extra volume.

“You know, milady,” Chat Noir says, “you’d better ask your kwami about a suit change, ‘cause Alya looks pretty damn cool.”

“And just what is wrong with my suit?” Ladybug huffs, crossing her arms. Chat Noir raises his hands.

“Nothing, nothing! You know I’ve got a thing for spots.” He winks. “I just don’t know you’d go for such a…plain suit if you were given the chance of a lifetime to be a superhero.”

“My suit is practical, thank you very much!” Ladybug says.

“So’s mine. But I’ve got a bell.”

“Yeah, because you’re a whipped kitten!”

“Ooh, burn,” Alya cackles, her head swivelling from Ladybug to Chat Noir to follow the argument.

“Her suit’s practical but still cool!” Chat Noir points at Alya.

“Hey, whoa, keep me outta your lover’s spat.”

“I’ll so take that Miraculous back off you and give it to Chloé Bourgeois if you call it a lover’s spat again,” Ladybug mutters.

“Hey! Low blow!” Alya clasps her heart dramatically.

“Shouldn’t we be introducing Alya to the nightlife?” Chat Noir says with his usual smirk. Ladybug pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Just…pick a superhero name and jump off the Tower already,” she sighs. Alya squeals and jumps again.

“A name! I get to pick a superhero name!”

“Yep, so make it count, ‘cause you’ll be stuck with it, foxy,” Chat Noir says.

“Call me foxy again and I’ll claw your eyes out,” Alya says. “Hmm. My name’s…Rena Rouge! Yeah! Rena Rouge!”

“Not bad,” Ladybug says. “Okay, now jump off the Tower.”

“…You were serious about that?” Rena Rouge says. Ladybug smiles sweetly.

“Of course. You want to be a superhero, right? Go!”

“I’ll accompany you, foxy,” Chat Noir winks, then jumps off the Eiffel Tower before Rena Rouge can follow through with her threat of gouging his eyes out. But at least it gives her sufficient motivation to forget the fact that she’s jumping hundreds of metres down to the ground, since she growls and hurls herself after him seconds later, catching herself with the metal beams and sliding down the Tower directly when necessary to slow herself with the friction, then launching herself back off.

It’s so not fair. Why can’t Rena Rouge hurtle through Paris or get whacked off a pole-tightrope on her first day like he and Ladybug had? Damn foxes being a damn natural at this.

“Oh my god,” Rena Rouge gasps when her feet hit the concrete ground seconds after Chat Noir lands, with Ladybug bringing up the rear. “I just jumped down the Eiffel Tower!”

“And you doubted my instincts, kitty,” Ladybug says with a smirk.

“Please, milady, you insult me if you think I ever doubt you,” Chat Noir says.

“This is so cool! I can’t wait till my first battle!” Rena Rouge then grimaces. “I mean, not that I want someone to get akumatised – ugh, you guys know what I mean!”

“Yes, yes, you’re just an overexcited douche rather than an insensitive douche,” Chat Noir says. Rena Rouge sticks her tongue out at him.

“I hate to cut this short, but we didn’t exactly tell Alya’s parents that we were kidnapping her,” Ladybug says. “This’ll have to be a brief orientation. But next time will totally be longer.”

“I will commit every second of this to permanent memory,” Rena Rouge whispers with starry eyes.

“One last thing before we end our little soirée,” Chat Noir says. “Try using your power.”

“My power? Oh, right! Like Ladybug has Lucky Charm and you have Cataclysm!”

“Yep,” Ladybug says. “Yours is Mirage. As many illusions as you want for five minutes, no matter how big or small. It should be easy enough to make and hold the illusions –”

“– but it’ll take pawractice to make it look purrfect,” Chat Noir says. Both Ladybug and Rena Rouge glare at him.

“Feel like being my new partner?” Ladybug says.

“Damn right I do,” Rena Rouge says.

“Hmph,” Chat Noir says. “As if you could live without my ameowzing puns. But it does seem a bit unfair that Rena’s gotta work on perfecting her illusions when the others get straightforward powers – make a shelter, stinging others…”

“And that’s why it takes a clever mind and a fast learner,” Ladybug says. “And we know Alya’s both.”

“Sorry, Chat Noir, but you’re just gonna have to shove off and let me make out with Ladybug,” Rena Rouge says. “She called me clever and a fast learner!”

“Don’t go getting a big head or anything,” Chat Noir says sourly.

“Besides, imagine the chaos of having unlimited illusions everywhere without a timer once you’re more experienced,” Ladybug says. “You wouldn’t know what’s real or what’s not. The Fox is suited to hanging back and annoying the enemy, remember?”

“Hanging back? That doesn’t sound like me at all,” Rena Rouge says.

“Which is why we picked you for the Fox,” Ladybug says. “It’s not always about what power you’re best suited to, but what that power can teach you. I get the feeling that you’ll benefit from learning how to be a true Fox, especially since you wanna be a professional journalist someday. Hang back, gather information, confuse your opponent, then get out of there. Even if you prefer to be in the thick of things, it’s all about learning how to use your wits under stress. He did say that aggressive foxes were a thing, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, if I remember correctly,” Chat Noir says.

“Actually…that does sound pretty cool,” Rena Rouge admits. “Especially the part where I can create literally any illusion I want. Okay, I’m in. How do I use my power?”

“Just picture the illusion you want to create, play your flute, then say, “Mirage”,” Chat Noir says. “First illusion will start your timer, then you’ve got five minutes to either use that one illusion or make more.”

“But the more you have, the harder it is to focus on them,” Ladybug says. “Which is where experience comes in.”

“Right, right. I think I’ve got it.” Rena Rouge’s brow furrows, then she unslings her flute and raises it to her lips to play a short tune. “Mirage!” She flings the orange orb at the end of her flute and when it hits the ground in front of her, a small group of people appear in a flash of orange light.

Wait. Why is Chat Noir looking at himself? Well, not technically himself, but his civilian self. Adrien. And Marinette, and Nino, and a few other people who he assumes are Rena Rouge’s parents and sisters. Except that they’re slightly fuzzy around the edges and very obviously not real.

“Guess what, guys!” Rena Rouge crows. “I’m a superhero! I’m Rena Rouge! Me, Alya!”

“Oh my gosh, really?” Illusion Marinette bounces on the spot. “That’s so, so cool, Alya!”

“We all know how much you love superheroes, especially Ladybug!” illusion Adrien says.

“I’m so proud of you, babe!” illusion Nino says.

“Our daughter, a hero!” illusion Mrs Césaire says, and illusion Mr Césaire beams and hugs her.

“Super Alya! Super Alya!” the illusion twins chant.

“Not bad, sis,” illusion big sister says. Rena Rouge’s necklace beeps and loses a tail segment, so she sighs and reaches out to touch illusion Nino, and the group of people disappear in another flash of light and the faint sound of flute music.

“Rena?” Ladybug says softly when Rena Rouge says nothing for a few moments. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Rena Rouge turns to face them, and Chat Noir’s stomach lurches at the sight of her glossy eyes. “I just…had to tell them somehow. At least I’ll have that memory with me.”

“You know we’d love nothing more than for you to be able to tell your friends and family, right?” Ladybug says. “But all it would take is one brainwashing or mind-reading akuma…”

“Not even Ladybug and I know who each other are,” Chat Noir says. He slips an arm around Rena Rouge, and she smiles and leans into his embrace. “Considering how many hits I take for her, that’s probably a good thing.”

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days,” Ladybug mutters as she joins the embrace, sandwiching Rena Rouge between herself and Chat Noir. They stand there in silence, squished together, ignoring Rena Rouge’s Miraculous when it beeps again.

“You know,” Rena Rouge eventually says. “I never would’ve put this on the Ladyblog, even without you guys asking me. I don’t care about the world knowing who I am. I just want my close friends and my family to be proud of me…”

Alya considers Adrien to be one of her close friends? Chat Noir can’t help but squeeze Rena Rouge tighter after that, not that she’ll know why.

“I think they already know just how miraculous you are, even without superpowers,” Ladybug says.

“God, I’m such a fucking sap,” Rena Rouge mutters, squirming until Ladybug and Chat Noir release her. “Alright, alright, break it up. I should get back before my family comes to check on me and thinks an akuma stole me or something. How do I detransform?’

“I think it’s “let’s rest”,” Chat Noir says.

“Let’s rest.” Rena Rouge’s costume vanishes in a whirl of orange sparkles, leaving Alya standing in her place with Trixx floating above her head. Alya looks up at Trixx, bites her lip, then ever so slowly reaches up to unfasten the necklace, as though she’s prolonging the inevitable.

“Thank you, Alya,” Ladybug says as she accepts the Fox Miraculous from Alya and returns it to its box. “For proving that we could trust you.”

“It was super tempting to keep it, not gonna lie,” Alya says. “But you wouldn’t give it back if I did, right? And I’d be an idiot to make an enemy of Ladybug and Chat Noir. I figure if I get to be a hero sometimes, at least it’s better than never.”

Ladybug smiles widely. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” she says and holds the box back out to Alya, whose eyes bulge. “I wanted to make sure that we could trust you enough to relinquish your powers when asked. Good job passing our test, Alya.”

“You mean your test,” Chat Noir says. “I had no idea what you were doing. But hey, bugaboo always has a plan.”

“Stop calling me bugaboo,” Ladybug says, though her lips twitch.

“Are you…serious?” Alya breathes. “This isn’t another test to see if I’m gonna be greedy and snatch it or something?”

“No,” Ladybug says. “You’ve earned it, Alya. We offered to take it back each time, but Mas – the person who gave us our Miraculouses said that the bond between holder and kwami is vital. You do know, though, that Chat Noir and I are entirely responsible for you.”

“So, you’d better not seriously mess up, yeah?” Chat Noir says. “But no pressure or anything.”

“Yeah, no pressure,” Alya says sarcastically, taking the Fox Miraculous back out and clasping it around her neck again, then tucking it under her shirt. Trixx reappears in a flash of orange light and gives Alya a rather shark-like grin. Or should that be a fox-like grin? “I can’t wait till the next akuma fight!”

“Actually, we don’t want you out there just yet,” Ladybug says. She holds up a hand before Alya can protest. “Hawkmoth doesn’t know for sure that there are other Miraculouses in Paris. The minute we reveal you, we lose that element of surprise.”

“We gotta be sure that you’re not gonna get downed in two seconds before we let you out there,” Chat Noir says. “You saw how bugaboo got flattened on our first day.”

“Excuse me?” Ladybug huffs. “Mr ‘Oops-I-didn’t-listen-to-my-kwami-and-used-Cataclysm-like-an-idiot’ wants to imply that he was the better one of us?”

“I’m with Ladybug. At least she used her Lucky Charm right.” Alya sticks her tongue out at Chat Noir while dancing from foot to foot, while Trixx watches with an amused gleam in his eyes and Chat Noir pouts at her. “And that makes sense, about making sure I’m prepared. Even if I’m literally about to wet myself both out of excitement and to see if this is just a dream.”

“Please don’t,” Chat Noir says. “Or Ladybug will have to Lucky Charm a –”

“You’d better not finish that sentence, Chat Noir, or I won’t pet you for a month,” Ladybug says. Alya coughs rather suspiciously behind her hand at that. “Thanks for understanding, Alya. I know it must be super tempting to rush out there and get in the action.”

“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head,” Alya says. “I’m totally cool to be your secret weapon. And it will be secret ‘cause this isn’t going anywhere near the Ladyblog. At least, not until my first battle. Just promise me that I get to break this scoop, right? And I get to Peter Parker this shit and throw people off our trails?”

“Of course,” Ladybug and Chat Noir say together, and Alya beams.

“Damn right. Now, take me back home before you guys are reported for kidnapping and end up on the run to prove your innocence.”

“A shame, really, that we can’t keep you,” Chat Noir deadpans as Ladybug scoops Alya up. Alya smiles sweetly at him.

“Damn right, furball.”

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

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King Falls AM - Episode Six: King of King Falls

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Summary: July 15, 2015 - In an effort to learn more about his new hometown, Sammy books an interview with author and King Falls historian, Howard Ford Beauregard III, however Ben questions Sammy's intentions as well as Beauregard's facts.

[Podcast intro music]

[jazzy church organ music]

Deacon Reggie Back by popula’ deman’ from tha Lawd On High, tha King Falls Stompin’ Out Tha Devil Revival will be extended two extra Sundays. Join us for a fi’th consecutive week as Reverend Xavier “Get Right With God!” Hawthorne leads the King Falls faithful, the most turnt up celebration of tha year! Come raise your haaands to the skyy an’ annoint the son o’ God! Tha Holy Spirit will be so strong, your granny bound to get ratched!

Reverend Hawthorne God is’a Good. God is’a GreaT-a. Satan is on your back because he likes ta haTe-a. Shake ‘im off for Jesus! Just shake him off! Before it is too late! Glory, Glory Hallelujah!

Deacon Reggie Come celebrate with the most highly favored congregation in town! Just outside the city limits, off’a Route 72 and MLK. (That’s Mary-Lou Kilpatrick Drive for those coming out o’ town.) [rushed disclaimer] King Falls Stompin’ Out the Devil Revival is a trademark of Right With God Productions, all use and reproductions must have written consent from Reverend Hawthorne, or the Lord above. To God be the Glory.

[KFAM intro music]

Ben [in bg] I don’t want to do this!

Sammy And we’re back! You’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial, and that was a perturbed Ben Arnold. We got a packed show for you this evening. We have a special guest, in the house—

Ben Sorry, folks!

Sammy What are you so fired up about, Ben?

Ben You know.

Sammy Well, our dear listeners don’t know, and we’ve got a few minutes before—

Ben B-before we talk to your guest.

Sammy Our guest.

Ben Oh, there’s no wa— I would never book that guy in a thousand years. He’s all yours.

Sammy [pleading] Ben.

Ben It’s just ridiculous! If you wanna make fun of me, do it off the air! This, is not cool.

Sammy I’m not making fun! Listen folks, I did a little research—

Ben On his own.

Sammy On my own, about King Falls history- and moreso, its history with the paranormal! So I go out of my way to book a guest that is an expert in this field!

Ben HOH! BULL!

Sammy And now Ben thinks I’m just messing with him when actually I’m just trying to get a better grasp on the supernatural phenomenon that happens in our beautiful town!

Ben [quickly] You never believe it when it happens on air, why would you bring- this guy in. You’re- you’re trying to break him. Which should be easy since he’s a—

Sammy I’m serious! I’m just trying to get a better understanding of what we’ve been dealing with the last few months, Ben. And this guy, our guest, has written a book about just that!

Ben It’s an e-book, Sammy. My mother can publish an e-book. He’s a whack job.

Sammy Why are you acting like he’s not sitting right in front of us?

Ben Oh, you’ll see.

Beauregard [HFB3 has a “High Class-Better Than You” drawl at all times] “Whack job”? You must be speaking of the 1957 3rd Street Massacre— or your journalistic career.

Sammy Uh, good evening sir. Thanks for making it down to the station tonight.

Beauregard [insincerely] Charmed.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, we’re being joined by- an author—

Ben [cutting in] E-book.

Sammy —and King Falls paranormal expert—

Ben Self-proclaimed.

Sammy —Mr. Howard Ford Beauregard.

Beauregard The third.

Sammy Of course. Howard Ford Beauregard the Third. How are you doing this evening, Howard?

Beauregard Mr. Beauregard. And as the common folk call it: I’m swell.

Ben *clears throat* So, Mr. Beauretar[sic]—

Beauregard Is your man speaking to me, Mr. Stevens?

Sammy [confused] No— Man?… Ben?

Beauregard You shan’t be too careful these days.

Sammy So, Mr. Beauregard. How did you come to be an expert in the paranormal and supernatural aspects of King Falls?

Ben [sounds like someone whose point is about to be proved] This should be good!

Beauregard As well you know, my family settled this town of King Falls many many moons ago, so its lineage is pure and unfiltered through my veins. My family has witnessed it all and, of course, that has been passed to me and now, through my memoir, passed down to you.

Ben *laughs* Right.

Beauregard May you ask your manservant to please hold his tongue as the adults speak?

Sammy Excuse me?

Ben Sorry! Beauregard. A-also, uh, in this century, where we live, I’m the co-host of this show.

Beauregard [condescendingly] How splendid. Your mother must be co-proud of you. Mm?

Sammy Okay. To make a U-turn back to the original point, you were saying—

Beauregard Yes. We founded this city. We know every minute detail of its hellish existence. Especially when it comes to the oft spoken about ghouls, goblins, and extraordinary happenings we are known for.

Ben [offended] King Falls is a magnificent town. There is nothing “hellish” about it.

Beauregard You’re. Welcome.

Sammy So, it is true that one could say you are a self-proclaimed expert in these matters.

Beauregard The same one might say that you are a good radio host, but… doubtful.

Ben *exasperated sigh*

Sammy Alright let’s take some callers, shall we?

Beauregard [insincerely] What fun. I love hearing from the lowlies.

Ben [muttered]Jesus— Line 3.

Sammy Good evening, you’re on King Falls AM with Howard Ford—

Ron Yeah yeah, Sammy, let me just get right down to business. First off, am I live right now?

Ben Double live gonzo, Ron!

Sammy Ron Begley, from Begley’s Bait Shop, ladies and gentlemen. What’s goin’ on, sir?

Ron Howdy boys. [angrily] But seriously this message right here is for you so-and-sos that have been comin’ down to the lake, every damn night since this tournament, lookin’ to poach on Kingsie.

Sammy Wait a second. People are attacking Kingsie?

Ron They’re tryin’.

Ben Why?

Ron I assume it’s a bunch of hillbilly heroes tryna come serve up a side of podunk justice on our majestic lake creature for the John Doe. However, it’s a damn fact now that Kingsie, who wouldn’t hurt a damn fly, had f[bleep]kall to do with that body at the Bass Tourney. But these damn perpetrators need to listen and stop comin’ on my land and into the lake with malice in mind. Lake Hatchenhaw is a place of serenity, peace and fishing, you damn fools.

Ben [fiercely] Kingsie is a King Falls treasure.

Beauregard If I believed in lake lizards living in a water puddle I call a lake—

Ron I’m sorry? Just who the f[bleep]k are you, you hoity-toity—

Beauregard Aww, the salty tongue of the smartest man in the trailer park. I do not answer to your kind.

Ron [aggressively] Son, I could get from my lake house to the top of that mountain in about 22 minutes, so you best get your gazelles on and start putting pads to pavement. You pillow bitin’ son of a b[bleep].

[click, dial tone]

Ben Kingsie is a fact, Mr. Beauregard, unlike a great deal of what you have listed in your… “book.”

Beauregard I’ll bite. What is fiction in my memoir?

Ben Sammy? Please. [“let me tear this guy apart”]

Sammy [conceding] We’re all about the facts here on King Falls AM, Ben.

Ben [rapid and eager] Chapter 2, “Smokey and the Banshee.” Hate to break it to you? but there certainly isn’t an apparition driving a “ghostly Trans-Am through town square” late night every third Sunday.

Beauregard Says you.

Sammy Says facts.

Ben Chapter 5, “Bombing Range Road Rage” you mentioned General Abilene here, saying he goes out of his way to spook people on old Bombing Range Road.

Beauregard Your point? If you have one.

Ben Indeed I do! Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows that the general is seen in Sweetzer Forest. Lights emanate from Bombing Range Road. Possible UFO activity. All of that unrelated to Abilene.

Beauregard [laughingly] Sweetzer Forest? Hah! Imbecile.

Ben [getting increasingly worked up again] And furthermore, what’s this baloney about there not being an ancient burial ground under where your family built its textile factory? And you know what? let’s just come out and say it: Why has no one in the town ever seen you in the daylight?

Beauregard We have gone on record! time and time again. There is not now nor has there… ever been an “ancient Indian burial ground.” There have been… no disturbances either. I will not tolerate any more of this tomfoolery. And furthermore! not that it’s any of your business, but as far as my complexion is concerned, I have… an aversion towards the sun! I tend to do my deals and business… in the night-time hours! You might even call me… nocturnal.

Sammy Riiight… Nocturnal. Okay. Moving forw—

Ben It’s a well known fact that your family bought that land at a steal. And it was so “reasonably priced”? because it was on the ancient burial ground of the Hatchenhaw Indians.That said, there are sightings all the time- hell, there are videos of the ghosts trying to scalp your employees during work!

Beauregard Hogwash!

Sammy Y’know, I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I think. Ben pulled up one of the YouTube videos a while back and- I’m usually skeptical but I saw—

Beauregard Graphics and special effects or what-have-you! I’ll have the two of you know I did not come on this show to be mocked. One more retort from you valley-dwellers and I’ll have you expelled from the city limits. Mayor Grisham is a close ally, so tread trepidously.[sic]

Ben Bring it.

Sammy Whoa whoa whoa! everybody, let’s just relax. This is a conversation, Mr. Beauregard. Ben here is our station’s foremost expert on King Falls history, sir. It just seems like maybe the facts and your book’s stories aren’t exactly jiving.

Beauregard Let me be quite clear, this is my last warning. If you speak ill of myself or my family one more time, I will crush you. Your livelihoods depend on this fact.

Sammy Come on.

Ben [sarcastically] Oh I’d never speak badly about your family. They had the good sense to die before you turned into this joke, bringing down their hard earned reputations.

Beauregard Fire this insolent manchild at once. He’s nothing more than Channel 13 leftovers.

Ben I… B-but I—

Beauregard Aww. Did I touch a nerve Benny? Dispute this fact to all five of your listeners. Channel 13- a respectable organization- rejected you not one, not two, but three separate occasions. You working class cretin.

Sammy [awkwardly] I think maybe we should wrap this up.

Ben No wait. Sammy, I’m gonna use a lifeline. Phone a friend?[1] and ruin this douche.

[phone ringing]

Emily [sleepily] Hello?

Ben Hi! Emily.

Emily [suddenly more awake] Ben? Everything okay? It’s pretty late.

Ben It’s- it’s okay now that you’re on the phone. *shy, awkward laugh* You’re live by the way.

Emily *giggles* Ben! Hi Sammy! Hi King Falls.

Ben The lovely and knowledgeable King Falls Librarian, Emily Potter, everyone.

Beauregard The library? They can’t even keep my memoir in stock. What do you think about that?

Sammy [quietly] I don’t think that’s how e-books work.

Ben Hey! Miss Potter is trying to speak, Beauregard? Emily, can you… shed some light on a certain topic for everyone out there listening? All five of them.

Emily Yes. Anything for you and Sammy.

Ben We have… Howard Beauregard on the phone.

Emily Funny enough, I just finished your book, Mr. Beauregard. “King of King Falls”?

Beauregard Alas, finally someone with good sense and better taste.

Ben I’m glad you brought that up, Emily! Can you fill the listeners in on the history of the King Falls Library- which, Mr. Beauregard discusses in chapter 15 of his e-book. Did you- find any… discrepancies?

Emily Sure, Ben. Well, Mr. Beauregard mentioned the library a few times in various stories. However, he stated that during World War Two? the secret apartment was built inside the library. However, it actually—

Beauregard Ahhh! The Hitler Suite! Yes, it was commissioned by Germany, October 7th, 1944 as a possible hiding place for their infamous leader, Theodore Waldorf von Hitler.

Sammy Adolf?

Beauregard Gesundheit.

Emily I’m sorry but the apartment was actually built when the library was, in 1912. I’ve seen the blueprints and everything. Funny story, it was actually used as—

Ben Y’know, Emily, maybe we should hear him out on this one. I can see a connection forming here.

Emily *giggles* Oh Ben, you’re so funny.

Beauregard Miss Potter.

Emily Yes, Mr. Beauregard?

Beauregard You are a simpleton of the highest order, and should not be tasked to watch over a magazine, much less a palace of learning such as the King Falls Library.

Ben You son of a b[bleep]!

Sammy Ben! It’s not worth it, calm down, he’s just an old nutcase!

Beauregard Of course the two of you are thick as thieves. I should have known I was in for an ambush in this rrramshackle radio station. You two lowlifes should be honored by my presence!

Sammy Beauregard, please take yourself and go honor the dust in your mansion. We’re done here.

Beauregard How dare you. Turn this radio broadcast off this instant! I demand it. I will not be treated like this!

Ben Go.

Sammy [aggressively] If you don’t leave, Mr. Beauregard, we’re gonna be forced to call the sheriff’s department

Beauregard Well there’s no need to wake my personal friend, Sheriff Gunderson, from his slumber. He’d only throw the book at you rapscallions anyway.

Ben Your e-book isn’t worth the paper it’s not printed on.

Beauregard [sound of a chair being shoved back] [voice getting quieter as he storms off] You merry fools! I can buy this radio station! Just to fire you! Mark my words!

Sammy We’ll be waiting on those pink slips! but until then, get out of our studio, please and thank you. Well then.

Ben I hate to say “I told you so” but…

Sammy I’m sorry Ben, *sad sigh* [increasingly mumbled] y’know I was just trying to understand this stuff a little bit better.

Ben [sincerely] I appreciate that.

Sammy Folks, we’re just going to take a quick break here to get back on track but let—

Emily [softly] Hey, Ben?

Ben Hello?

Sammy Oh! Line one is still engaged.

Emily Thank you for sticking up for me, Ben.

Ben Ah! I mean, any time! I mean you, uh, you're- you’re… welcome?

Sammy Ladies and gents, Ben has just invented a new shade of red from all this blushing. You know what? tweet me @KingFallsAM right now and I’m gonna post a pic.

Ben [hissed] Shut up, Sammy.

Emily Hey, Ben?

Ben Yeah? I’m here.

Emily I was just wondering… Well, I’ve- I’ve been wondering, um, maybe, uh- And you can- say no! if you want. But, would you, possibly, like to- go out? uh, maybe to Rose’s Diner this weekend?

Ben [voice cracking slightly] Yes. I mean… Sure- maybe- we could do, something, like that! I’ll- I’ll, I mean I do. I need to… *clears throat* check my schedule. But um—

Emily Okay then! I’ll- talk to you later! Goodnight, Ben.

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Well I think—

Ben Don’t. [whispering] Let me savor this.

Sammy *chuckles* We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors, kids.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Phone a friend- probably well known, but this is a reference to the show “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep6 #howard ford beauregard iii #hfb3 #Ron Begley #emily potter

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jungcock · 6 years

Text

fatal attraction⎜05 (m.)

→ pairing: reader x jungkook (feat. taehyung)

→ genre: serial killer au, smut, angst

→ word count: 8.5k

Your dangerous ex-boyfriend comes back to haunt you in more ways than one.

→ warnings: unprotected sex, defloration, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of death and murder, major character death

→ disclaimer: myself and this fic does NOT condone the act of killing or the romanticisation of those who kill. if themes of violence, killing and/or stalking are triggering to you, please do NOT read this fic.

→ author’s note: this update would not have happened without @kookingtae credit for my sanity goes to her.

↳ series m.list | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | ongoing

Three years, eight months ago

Despite the fact you were on your way to losing your virginity, you were seemingly more nervous to visit the Jeon residence for the first time. Jungkook drove in silence, leaving you to your thoughts. It was late, almost 10 pm. Would his parents still be up? Would you finally be able to meet them? Or would Jungkook sneak you in through the backdoor? Your thoughts settled on the fact that meeting a guy's parents for the first time and then fucking him for the first time moments later wouldn't be an ideal or realistic situation. You were sure Jungkook would avoid it.

You couldn't help but think why you had chosen tonight to be the night. You hadn't planned it but you had been thinking about it for a while. Maybe, having a banana milkshake that night instead of your regular strawberry had you thinking differently in all sorts of ways. After your first date in that motel room months ago and a few subtle instances of him shrugging you off, you were almost too scared to make the first move. Your confidence was weak. You wanted to have sex and you knew he did too but his self-control was strong. You didn't know what was different for him now, especially to suddenly confess he would die and kill for you. Maybe, ultimately, he simply had had enough abstaining.

You knew Jungkook came from money but you never expected his family home to be the most lavish villa you had ever seen. He snuck you around the back as you had expected but it was the quickest route to his bedroom—which was downstairs and attached to a young man cave. He had held your hand the entire way, squeezing it for comfort. But surprisingly, you didn't need him to—you weren't nervous or scared. Maybe, you should have been.

His bedroom was not what you had imagined. It was tidy, close to spotless. Framed pictures and trophies decorated his walls and shelves. It was well lit, despite it essentially being a basement. It goes without saying you waltzed straight over to the pictures.

"You want candles or something?"

You had picked up a frame, it was a picture of Jungkook and Namjoon as toddlers—perched on their father's lap. His father was in a suit and aviators, holding a fat cigar between the fingers of the hand wrapped around Jungkook. Setting the picture down, you chuckled to yourself thinking about how much he looked like a mob boss.

"Sure," you answered him.

He nodded before disappearing into his ensuite. You picked up another picture of Jungkook, he was little older than he was in the first picture, this time—kissing his mother. He was the cutest kid you had ever seen. You had to hold in a squeal.

"I could only find one," Jungkook announced, walking back into the room. "But it's scented so I hope that makes up for it."

It was incredibly sweet he was trying to create a romantic atmosphere—it was always the thought that counted. You smiled softly and he smiled back. You watched while he reached into his back pocket to grab his zippo and lit the wick with ease. After setting the candle on top of his dresser, he stood there staring at the flame.

"What scent?" you asked, strolling closer.

"Vanilla."

You nodded. There was a silence. What now? He seemed to be content just standing where he was. Was he having second thoughts? You were suddenly nervous and it made your palms sweat. Were you supposed to just... pounce on him? Why could he never make things easy for you? You looked over your shoulder, back to the pictures you were admiring.

"You were an adorable kid," you grinned. "I'm almost mad you didn't show me pictures before."

He chuckled, finally turning to face you. "You do know that's the mother's job, right?"

"Yeah, if I ever meet her," you mumbled unintentionally. You didn't want an argument but the words just fell from your lips before you had a chance to stop them.

His shoulders slumped. "Princess—"

"It seems like you have a really special relationship with her. I can tell by the pictures... it's lovely," you interrupted him.

"I'd rather not talk about my mom when I'm about to fuck my girlfriend."

Your eyes bulged. "Right, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he sniggered, grabbing the back of your neck to pull you closer. He looked deep into your eyes, your pupils, your soul. "Have you done this before?"

"Yes," you lied shakily and you don't know why you did.

He raised an eyebrow at you. You had to avoid eye contact—anything for him not to see how fucking nervous you had become. He lifted your chin to look at him, denying you to hide.

"Ok," he replied sympathetically, knowingly. It was as if he heard your answer as no—as if he knew your answer should have been no.

When he kissed you, your nerves melted away. It was tender and slow and it felt like he was kissing you for the first time—the butterflies in the pit of your stomach made you feel like you were kissing him for the first time. In a waltz, he led you back towards the bed until your calves hit the end of it. Although, he didn't push you down as you had expected. He kept kissing you, passionately, running his hands all over your body but always returning to grip your neck. At one point you moaned into his mouth and he growled back at you. You didn't know if it was a virgin thing, or if it was just him, but you were already feeling wetness pool in your panties.

Lust and excitement took over and you tugged at his shirt—a silent plea for him to take it off. He obeyed and as he did so, so did you. His eyes roamed over your body in admiration and it gave you the confidence to slowly remove your bra. There was a fire in his eyes as his rough palms caressed your soft bare skin.

"So beautiful," he murmured before attacking your lips again.

Once you fell back onto the bed, Jungkook began slowly kissing every inch of you. He left a trail of wet pecks from your lips down to your cheek and neck—sucking until he found your sweet spot and earned a moan. You had never felt so turned on and he hadn't even properly touched you yet. You wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding against him as he moved his kisses down to your breasts.

"I've been dreaming about these for months," he growled before taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking softly.

You keened, arching your back and lifting your chest into his face. He responded by switching nipples, licking and nibbling while his large hand cupped the other breast. Suddenly, he retracted from you, sitting up to tend your jeans. He popped the button undone before slowly shimming them down your legs and chucking them over his shoulder. Next were your panties and it made your heart race in anticipation. He fiddled with the flimsy straps before you eventually lifted yourself for him to pull down the lace and discard them with your jeans.

You were completely bare for him. His lust-crazed eyes drank in your figure as you laid there, hair fanned out across the bedspread in the shape of a halo, your cheeks tinged pink and your thighs clasped together. With his palms on your knees, Jungkook attempted to spread your thighs apart but found you resistant. He tried again, but you wouldn't budge. You trusted him, you wanted this but you couldn't help it, it was like a reflex. He sighed and rested his chin on your knees, sliding his hands down to cup the top of your thighs.

"Princess, if you're not ready, we don't have to."

You shook your head. "No, I want to!"

He cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"I just... I wanna be on top," you explained. "I want to control it."

You swore you saw Jungkook shiver.

"Fucking hell, you're so sexy," he exclaimed. "And I can just smell how wet you are."

"Oh, Jesus!" you cried, your hands flying up to cover your face in embarrassment.

Jungkook leaned down to pull your palms away. "And it's more delicious than the vanilla."

He gave you another kiss before climbing off of you to take off this pants. You sat up to watch as he shamelessly pulled down his underwear—his hard cock springing free. It was bigger than you had imagined, girthier. It was beautiful and you unintentionally squeezed your legs together. You were sure your eyes were the size of saucers as you began to worry how that could possibly fit inside of you.

"Lay down," you ordered after clearing your throat.

He sniggered and he what he was told, climbing onto the bed and lying down with his head propped up against the headboard. You crawled over to him, hovering over his body the same way he did to you moments ago. He was so much bigger than you, longer—you had to straddle his lower stomach in order to reach his lips.

After a few kisses, he looked up at you with wonder—eyes then flicking down to your drenched core against his lower abdomen. He smirked before mumbling against your lips, "I can feel how wet you are for me."

You groaned back into his mouth—automatically grinding your wetness against his navel. He reached into his nightstand, pulling out a small foil packet. You used his chest to push yourself up to watch him rip the packet open with his teeth. Your eyebrows furrowed before taking the slimy rubber off of him.

He frowned. "Wait, I always wear one," he protested.

You shook your head. "Not with me," you murmured.

A devilish smirk spread across his face before he shot up to kiss you, quick to push his tongue into your mouth. You chucked the unused condom over your shoulder and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back fervently. He tried flipping you over but you counteracted, shoving his chest and making him flop back down. You hovered over him, his cock hard and leaking and it enticed you to settle yourself on it. You had no idea what you were doing and his tip missed your entrance, sliding up towards your clit. He sighed at the small contact and boosted your confidence. Soon, found your hips moving—your slick pussy sliding up and down his shaft. You moaned at the ceiling, enjoying the friction of his warm hardness.

You didn't get to enjoy it for long because the next thing you knew, you were on your back. Jungkook loomed over you, propping your legs open and steering his cock towards your entrance. You held your breath.

He pushed into you slowly, leaning over you to watch your reactions. You could tell he was being careful not to hurt you but it was impossible to ignore the strong burning. Your face contorted at the stretch and he froze. He kissed you softly as if to try to kiss the pain away. You giggled, stroking his clammy face.

"Keep going," you whispered.

He nodded, thrusting inside you all the way and releasing a sigh of relief. You felt so incredibly full, you couldn't describe the physical feeling in any other way. But having Jungkook inside you, apart of you, finally, made you feel so overwhelming content. You had each other completely, mind, body and soul.

When he gradually began pumping into you, little whimpers escaped your mouth. He seemed to inhale the sounds, his heavy breathing fanning over your face with your foreheads pressed together. While he focused on keeping a steady pace, you focused in on his face—the pure pained restraint and pleasure clear as day in his expressions.

"You ok?" he grunted, careful not to thrust particularly hard.

You nodded and he kissed you before sitting up and adjusting the position of your hips. This way you both watched as his length worked in and out of you, appearing slicker and wetter the longer he fucked you. You almost couldn't peel your eyes away, heart racing and cheeks flushing at the fact such a filthy sight was turning you on to the point of no return. The pain had almost completely subsided and you threw your head back, whimpering and moaning shamelessly.

Jungkook's grip on your hips became tighter. His thrusts gradually became faster and harder. You clawed at his forearms when his pace turned into a pounding, the bedposts banging against the walls. His tip was constantly hitting your sweet spot and it forced your eyes to roll back. The pleasure was like nothing you had ever experienced, your own fingers couldn't even come close to compare. Your moaning increased into screaming as the coil in the pit of your stomach pulled so incredibly taut you thought you might explode.

"Oh my god, Jungkook!" you squealed, whining and wriggling.

Sensing you were close to your end, Jungkook smirked and bent your legs to push them against your chest. He pounded you into the mattress, snaking a hand between your thighs to rub your clit. The coil snapped and you came with a scream. Your body jerked against Jungkook but he managed to control your body enough to keep ramming your convulsing hole. You were squeezing him so perfectly, he couldn't sense or foresee how close his own end was.

"____, fuck, you feel so fucking good," he rasped, "Oh, fuck!"

Suddenly, you felt empty and you let out a deflated sigh. Long spurts of cum splattered all over your stomach and chest. Jungkook hissed and growled and then yanked at his almost softening cock to shoot the rest of his load around your belly button. In a post-orgasm haze, you tapped at the pools of milky liquid and rubbed the substance between your two fingers. Jungkook watched you intensely as you popped a finger into your mouth to taste and giggled.

He chuckled to mask the chill that went down his spine before fishing off his bed for something to clean you up with. It was the black tee he was wearing that day and he had no hesitations to use it to wipe his cum off of you. Quickly after that, you both got under the covers and laid there silently, feeling completely satisfied and euphoric. You had finally done it. You had sex with Jungkook and it was everything you had wished it to be.

"I swear I last longer than that," Jungkook broke the silence after clearing his throat.

In the moment, you hadn't noticed but on second thought, it was quite fast. You hoped he wouldn't be too hard on himself because for you it was perfect. You were satisfied and for your first time, you didn't think you'd be able to go on that much longer.

You giggled, rolling over to drape your arms around his neck. "It's because I'm better than them," you teased.

He chuckled back. "Yeah, you are."

He leaned in for a big kiss, lazy and sloppy. When he broke away, he dived under the sheets and tried his utmost to settled himself between your thighs. You fought him off and then lifted the covers to confront him.

"What are you doing?!" you squealed.

He looked up at you with a smirk. "I'm taking care of you," he answered, finally wedging himself between your thighs.

He gave your clit a little kitten lick and you squealed, "JUNGKOOK, NO!"

He chuckled evilly before continuing to softly lap at your folds. You were so sensitive from your orgasm it was near torture and you tried to kick at him to stop. He held your legs down and licked a little softer. It tickled like crazy and you kicked and screamed and laughed like a maniac.

"Jungkook, please, please," you begged him as you wrestled through the sheets.

He stopped almost immediately and you tried so hard to straighten out the sheets to find him but to no avail. Instead, he yanked you under, attacking you with kisses until you were snorting from laughter.

Night after night, those sheets compassed you and Jungkook in your own little world of safety and comfort and pleasure—not even the red wine you spilt the week after was enough to tarnish those sheets.

Staring at the same red wine stain no longer gave you the feeling of safety and comfort and pleasure. You felt dirty staring at it, crumpled in the middle of the mattress. You were trying to be strong but felt so undeniably pathetic letting something as simple as a stain on a sheet weaken you. It was an awful feeling and it had you wholeheartedly doubting your ability to do what you had to do, what you came there to do—face him.

The shower was running. You could still leave and he'd never know you were there. You could run out of the room right that second and erase the possible encounter from your memory. That would be the easy thing to do, what you had been doing the last three years.

He turned the shower off. And despite the overwhelming sense of dread and anxiousness and panic that brewed at the pity of your stomach, you stood your ground. Three years of the easy way out was quite enough and your decision to stay gave you a strong sense of empowerment. You could do this.

When he walked into his bedroom, his eyes doubled in size seeing you waiting for him. You tried your best not to mirror his expression. He was half dressed. Water droplets from his hair cascaded down his neck. You didn't know if you could do this.

“____, I really didn't expect you here.”

You didn't expect to be there either. You got up early, careful not to wake the sleeping boys scattered around your bedroom floor. You didn't even take a shower. You were almost certain residue from last night’s makeup was on your face. You didn’t even realise the sweatshirt you chucked on was massive on you and Jungkook’s—which earned a questionable look from him. To say you didn’t think this through was the understatement of the century.

You weren’t in your right mind when you stole Taehyung’s car and drove yourself to a murderer’s house. After reading and attempting to process Jungkook’s text, you felt the overwhelming need to take matters into your own hands—to somehow try to fix it and to ultimately try to save your friends. As much as it panicked you to admit and accept—he still loved you and you could play that to your advantage.

However seeing him in such close proximity, shirtless, tattoos on full display, black and coloured, obnoxiously covering the majority of his skin, had you weak in the knees. It was fear that had you trembling—the fear of him and the fear of old feelings. You tried the utmost to avert your eyes, denying yourself to feel the attraction you still harboured towards him. Your hands shook as you mentally reprimanded yourself for not feeling completely disgusted by the sight of him. The fear quickly turned into anger.

“Neither did I,” you forced through gritted teeth.

Jungkook paced over to his dresser but instead of grabbing a shirt he picked up his pack of cigarettes and lit one. You watched him and tried not to watch him at the same time, hugging yourself—unsure whether to take a seat or stand. He took a long drag, staring at you brazenly while your eyes darted around the room.

"You're upset," Jungkook stated.

"You upset me."

Upset, angry, awkward, uncomfortable—he made you feel all of them.

“I’ve missed you, I missed you every day,” he chuckled as if he felt ridiculous for saying it. "Although, you already know that from my unanswered letters. I guess I deserved it for not being honest with you. You've proved your point, it doesn't feel good to be left in the dark."

He was speaking with you so civilly that it shocked you into silence. He was acting as if the events of the night before never happened. Your sight finally landed on him, determined to try to understand how he could be anything other than as hostile as he was less than 24 hours ago. Surely, your surprise visit wasn't enough to sway his bad intentions.

“I didn’t get your letters,” you stated matter-of-factly, “until just recently.”

Jungkook’s shoulders slumped at the information. “Oh,” he replied dejectedly, “did you read them?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. What was he playing at? It was like he still cared—like he still had feelings other than resent and anger and a deranged obsession with you. You would have taken pity on him if he hadn’t threatened to kill all of your friends the night before.

“No,” you lied out of spite.

He sighed. “I guess there are some things we need to talk about, then.”

He was attempting to reconcile... as if the whole thing was just a small miscommunication. You couldn't believe his audacity. He was delusional to think there was anything to redeem between the two of you. You weren't having it. You wouldn't let him indulge in the hope.

“I'm not here to talk about us, Jungkook,” you told him harshly.

He gave you a look as if to say he didn’t believe you. “Then why are you here?”

You looked back at him incredulously. “Why the fuck do you think I’m here?”

He cocked an eyebrow at the bed presumptuously. “You haven’t asked me to put a shirt on,” he added.

You could have punched him. “Put a shirt on,” you ordered flatly, barely controlling your rage.

He raised his hands up in surrender, sticking his cigarette in his mouth so he had both hands to rummage through his drawers. You instinctively exhaled in relief when he found a black tee and rolled it down his abdomen.

“Listen, I'm here because I want you to stay away from my friends," you revealed, approaching him with false bravery.

He kept his back towards you. “I haven’t seen you in three years and that’s all you have to say to me?”

“You fucking threatened to kill them.”

"I'm not going to kill them," he chuckled mockingly.

Your eyebrows knitted together. Your brain throbbed in confusion. He still wouldn't turn around to face you, as if your presence was now a burden and unwanted. Once upon a time, you would have yanked him by his shoulder and maybe even slapped him for his mocking tone. The fact you couldn't do it, the fact you were too scared to, only fueled your frustration.

"And I'm just supposed to believe that," you called him out, "after the stunt you pulled last night?"

"Yes," he answered, aggressively putting out his cigarette in the tray on his dresser.

"You're fucking insane," you scoffed, rubbing your temples.

Jungkook's shoulder's stiffened. You struck the right chord. In a flash, he turned to step into your face and screamed, “I’M NOT GOING TO KILL YOUR FRIENDS, ____.”

You should have cowered at his outburst, it made sense to. But instead, you screamed right back. “THEN WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THREATENED TO?!”

Jungkook sighed shakily through his rage. “You didn’t read my letters,” he almost explained to himself before turning back around to slam a drawer shut.

You flinched at the bang. You had no idea what he was on about but you refused to reveal you had read them. You wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Although, it did have you pondering whether he did explain some aspects of his actions in those letters apart from the one letter explaining he was his father’s personal hitman. You didn't remember anything noteworthy in regards to why he would subject himself to such a role and what that role entailed—but then again, you hadn't read them all. Regardless, that didn't matter. All that mattered was that you were talking to a deranged killer and that killer had your friends on his hit list. All that mattered was their safety and you had to ensure it.

"You kill people, Jungkook. You killed someone in front of me," you managed to choke out. "You can't blame me for not believing your threats are empty."

"They're not when it comes to business," he answered plainly. "This was personal so I take it back. Happy? You can leave now."

"That's not fair," you squeaked.

"What's not fair, ___, hm?" he mocked, "You came here to save your friends. You did that and now, you can go!"

You knew you shouldn't have let him get to you but he just did. This was the part where you would kiss him silly, reassure him it was just a stupid fight and you adored him too much waste a moment angry. You felt bad. You could still feel how much he cared for you. You could feel how disappointed he was that he didn't feel that care back—manipulation at its finest.

“It wasn’t easy for me, you know,” you called after him as he walked away from you and sat on his bed with his back turned, “I’m sure you think so. I’m sure you think I’m one heartless bitch but what was I supposed to do, Jungkook?”

Your question lingered in the air. You stared holes into his back while he sat there, silent, with his head in his hands. When he finally lifted his head, he looked over his shoulder towards you. Your heart raced, forgetting how gorgeous his side profile was—you could have screamed.

“Talk to me,” he replied.

You really could have screamed.

“Do you have any fucking clue how scared I was of you? How scared I still am?” your voice wavered. “You murder people as a job. Not to mention you lied to me about it.”

“You know that’s not who I am,” he murmured, “You know me.”

“No, I don’t," you shook your head. "The boy I knew and fell in love with didn't kill people for his father's drug cartel. And I won't apologise for turning you in but I am sorry it had to be that way."

He scoffed. “Why do you have to remind me?”

“I think we’ve both done enough pretending, Jungkook,” you said softly.

“Why do you have to remind me,” he repeated, disregarding that you spoke, “that you betrayed me and that I should fucking hate you but—”

“Don't—”

He chuckled at the ceiling. "Enough pretending, huh?"

Your heart ached for him and how badly you wanted to somehow fix him. It was a toxic feeling and you wished you had recognised it as such the first time you felt it—all those years ago in that motel room. You wanted nothing more but to cower away but you stood your ground and said the bravest thing you had ever said in your life.

"I was so in love with you, Jungkook," you croaked unintentionally. "I couldn't sleep for weeks with your voice in my head, screaming to see me one last time and when I could sleep, I cried myself to sleep for months, fucking missing you and feeling so goddamn guilty!"

You didn't realise how distraught you were until your vision went blurry from the tears. Jungkook approached you slowly but stopped once he noticed you backing away at the same pace. You would have had a panic attack if he got any closer.

"I was so in love with you," you repeated through your sobs, "and you made me hate myself for it! You made me feel like there was something wrong with me! You do the most despicable, repulsive, most horrendous things a human being could do—you kill—and I loved you so much it hurt."

"____—"

"You put me in that position," you interrupted him with accusations. "You fucked with my head and my entire life. You ruined me. "

"We ruined each other," he retorted.

"I guess we did," you sniffled, trying to wipe and dry your face with your sleeve.

"I'm sorry," he said with complete sincerity—you could see it in his eyes.

You nodded and tucked your hair behind your ears so the strands wouldn't stick to your wet cheeks. "I don't think I have or will ever get over you, but I have to," you admitted. "Goodbye, Jungkook."

As you turned your back on him, a weight lifted off of your shoulders—you felt almost as if you were floating. This was it. You said your piece. You got your closure. Now, you could move on—or so you thought.

"____," he called softly, "you can still be with me. I would never hurt you."

The weight returned, heavy as ever. Your stomach sank. The desperation in his voice so crystal clear, so raw it could never be unheard or forgotten—something new to haunt you. Neither of you were pretending anymore. You were both being utterly vulnerable and it was petrifying. But, you had said your piece and you had to stand by it.

"It's not me I'm worried about," you uttered before desperately continuing to make your leave.

"You're with him, aren't you?" he muttered under his breath and it stopped you in your tracks. "Taeyang... Taehyung."

You looked over your shoulder at him and you wished you didn't. The fire in his eyes was raging and terrifying, almost demonic. You felt frozen in place as if his gaze turned you to stone. He always had the worst temper especially when it was brewed from jealousy. You knew this but you couldn't find the words to reassure him, you couldn't even find the words to lie.

You swore you heard him growl when you swiftly escaped out the door and slammed it behind you. You didn't realise you were holding your breath until a loud bang emitted and caused you to gasp. The second bang shook the closed door and was followed by deafening crashes. Every bang and crash vibrated through you, paralysing you. Your memories of Jungkook thrashing around in that interrogation flooded your thoughts, evoking utter trauma and sadness to the point of your knees almost buckling beneath you.

"God fucking dammit, Jungkook! Don't destroy everything, for fucks sakes! I want those pictures of Mom—"

Namjoon halted his march when he saw you frozen in front of his brother's bedroom door. You wished you had the strength to slip away as soon as you heard him coming. Yet, your legs betrayed you and here you were, face to face with the person who started this nightmare.

"____, what a pleasant surprise!"

Somehow his radiance of arrogance and terribly masked hostility made you roll your eyes and shocked your body into movement. You pushed past him, ignoring his calls for you and didn't look back until you were in the safety of Taehyung's Aston Martin. Your hands were shaking against the steering wheel so you took a minute before driving off. Jungkook's eyes, the way that his stare bored into your soul, full of contempt and heartbreak and clear envy towards the boy who owned the car you were sitting in, haunted you. You just couldn't respond at the accusation he fired at you—his words now playing in your head over and over like a broken record. And as you sped onto the road you realised you said nothing, not one word because... you didn't know yourself.

"Hey, are you all wrinkly and gross yet?"

"Like a 90-year-old woman!"

You heard Taehyung chuckle from the other side of the bathroom door. The deep rumbling sound comforted you, confirming he hadn't heard the rasp and crackle in your own voice from crying. You had been crying for the last two hours while your naked body soaked in steaming hot water. The water now lukewarm, you had just managed to control your sobs and put on a brave voice for the boy who was checking up on you. The boy who would always check up on you, in the worst moments like he had a sixth sense for when you were upset. God, how you wished you'd fucking stop burdening him with your bullshit.

"So," he began, softly thumping his forehead against the bathroom door, "you went to see him?"

You went silent. You weren't ready for the grilling that would follow a response. All Taehyung could hear was water sloshing and he sighed.

"I understand why you did it," he continued, "but I just wish you would have told one of us."

"You would have stopped me."

This time, it was his turn to be silent. You heard him sigh again and then slide down the door to sit. As much as you normally wouldn't want to have this conversation—words flowed out of your mouth.

"I had to, Taehyung," you explained, "I couldn't let him come after you, any of you."

"I know, darling," he huffed.

Darling. That was new. But surprisingly, it didn't send your thoughts spiralling into a whirlwind of what it meant and what it meant to your relationship. Your head was too filled with Jungkook.

You grunted. "It's just so crazy to me how I could be so in love with someone for so long... and at the same time feel like I didn't know them at all."

"What did you guys... talk about?"

You sighed. You could tell he was speaking carefully, wanting to know what happened but wary you could shut him out at any time. Jungkook had always been a touchy subject but now, you felt ready.

"Us, the boys, you," you summarised.

"Huh," he acknowledged you as casually as possible—as if not to push it.

"He wanted to get back together..."

You heard Taehyung's shuffling around on the floor. His interest peaked at the confirmation you were willing to share. "And what did you say?" he prompted you.

Your eyebrows furrowed. "No, of course! Why would you even ask me that?!"

"The last time we talked about him... it seemed..." he paused and you braced yourself, "it seemed as if presented with the chance... you might take him back."

"That's offensive," you deadpanned.

"There's nothing wrong with loving someone and wanting someone, ____."

Where the fuck was this coming from? Was he really encouraging feelings that tormented you? "He's a fucking murderer, Taehyung."

"You can't help the way you feel though, ____. I didn't judge you then and I won't judge you now for still caring for him."

You knew his words were supposed to relieve you but they only made you angry. "I don't," you said through gritted teeth.

Taehyung chuckled at your childlike stubbornness. "You can lie all you want to yourself but you can't lie to me."

"Why are you saying this?! Why are you putting these stupid ideas in my head? You're acting like I'm supposed to be with him when I'm supposed to be with—" you.

Even a closed door between the two of you couldn't ward off the tension. He didn't respond. And in his silence you thought, you and Taehyung couldn't be. His silence meant he didn't want you anymore—not only because of the pact but because of your mess of emotions and feelings towards this other man that rudely strolled back into your life. You thought, surely, Taehyung respected himself enough to not respond, to not get involved with you in that way. With this presumptuous realisation, you cleared your throat and decided to change the subject.

"I told him to stay away from you guys and he actually agreed," you almost chuckled. "Sometimes the long shots pan out, huh?"

"And you believe him?" he said softly, you almost didn't catch it through the closed door.

"I do... I mean I think so? God, I'm so sorry I brought you all into this awful fucking mess," you wailed, burying your face into your wet hands.

"No, no!" Taehyung exasperated, "Don't, please. I was stupid to question you. You put your neck out to protect us and we're so fucking lucky to have you. Don't you dare be sorry. We're gonna be ok. Please don't worry and please don't cry again."

Again?

"You heard me before?" you questioned painfully.

He sighed. "It was hard not to. It sounded like you needed it so I left you to it... which was harder."

You wanted to apologise again but you knew that would just upset him more. "Surely, you're used to me crying by now," you said, trying to make a joke out of it.

"It will always hurt to see or hear you cry," he admitted softly.

"God!" you exclaimed.

"That cheesy, huh?" he chuckled back.

"No," you shook your head, despite him unable to see, "sweet."

He groaned. "Just bury me a few feet deeper into the friend zone, why don't you?"

You laughed. "You the one prompting me to talk about my insane ex who I supposedly still want to be with!"

"Look, I'm not particularly enjoying that conversation but I want you to talk to someone about it and I know you won't talk to anyone without a little push," he explained.

You went quiet.

"____?" he called out after you didn't respond after a minute. "You've been quiet about this for three years, don't you think it's time?"

He was right. You stared at the faucet of the tub, sifting through your thoughts, attempting to unjumble them into sentences you could speak. It took you another minute or so.

"It was really hard seeing him today. I mean, last night was hard too but... that Jungkook wasn't my Jungkook. I saw my Jungkook today and saying goodbye to him might have been the hardest thing I've ever done."

Silent tears streamed down your face. You were thankful Taehyung couldn't see you.

"He was exactly how I remembered him, minus a few tattoos, and fuck me, I felt this weird attraction and I just couldn't fucking shake it. It was like I was fighting with myself to not act exactly how we once were. But, in my defence, how are you even supposed to act in that sort of situation? Especially when he was acting so... himself, just... angry and hurt. It felt so weird not to reach out to him and console him and makeup with him to the point where I didn't even know how to stand and hold my arms. It felt wrong and unnatural to leave him like that... Fuck, I'm just as insane as he is."

"No, you're not," Taehyung reassured you.

"I hate that he still haunts me. I hate that he's still in my fucking life."

"____, you never had that chance to say goodbye. It's normal to feel this way. You essentially pressed paused on your grieving process. You never had closure, Jesus, you never even had a proper breakup fight. Of course, it's going to feel weird but trust me, you'll get through this."

You were appreciative of his words, you really were. But as you laid there in, now, cold water staring at the ceiling—only one thought flowed through your mind. One thought that you believed, if actioned, could have prevented this entire emotional crisis.

“I should have just let you fuck me last night.”

You pretended not to hear the back of his head thud against the door.

When you eventually got out of the bath, Taehyung had set up a movie and had snacks sprawled across your bedspread. As gorgeous as the set up was, it was the boxy grin he gave you that was the icing on the cake. You crawled on the bed, pecking him on the cheek before slipping under the covers.

"Just us tonight?" you queried as before you had taken your bath, all four boys were lazying around your bedroom.

"Hoseok's coming in an hour or so," he replied. "Yoongi and Jimin want their own beds tonight."

"That's fair," you giggled. "You're all gonna be walking around with hunched backs like old men if you keep sleeping on my floor."

"We don't mind the floor!"

"Yeah, of course, you don't," you retorted, "you cokehead."

"Hey!"

You giggled again and Taehyung let you, just happy to hear you laugh. Although, you were right. He was always so faded it really didn't matter to him where he'd crash. And somehow, he'd always bounce back the next morning, unphased and unaffected by the uncomfortable sleep and substances from the night before.

"So, I'm guessing you told them Jungkook isn't coming for them?"

He nodded. "And they increased their security, just in case."

You groaned. "Please don't say that."

"Sorry, I thought that might have put you at ease a little more," he said, apologetically.

You shook your head as if to say it was fine. He gave you a small smile before starting the movie. You had trouble focusing on it. All you could think about was Taehyung's safety. If Jungkook was to go back on his word, it would be Taehyung he'd come after. The more you thought about it the more you believed it to be probable. You left Jungkook in a distraught state with Taehyung's name on his lips. Chills spread through you, to the bone and you were so grateful Taehyung decided he could go another night without his own bed.

Half an hour into the movie, your eyes became droopy. Taehyung had rolled onto his side and you took the opportune moment to spoon him, so tightly he let out a squawk and a chuckle. You wouldn't let go, you wouldn't even relax your grip to let him wriggle. He noticed the third time he tried to change his position.

"You good?"

You hummed.

"Um, do you think you can let me breathe then?"

"Taehyung," you sighed, "you just gotta let me do this, ok?"

He sniggered and then nodded, "Ok."

As you fell asleep, you had continued to hold onto Taehyung so tightly. You had to ensure he wasn't going anywhere, to ensure he wasn't leaving you, to ensure he wouldn't be taken from you. As you drifted off, you had felt a horrible sense of dread at the pit of your stomach that you couldn't shake. In the middle of the night, when you felt nothing but linen where Taehyung was supposed to be—it was safe to say that dread was amplified by a million.

Hoseok was sleeping on the other side of you, he must have snuck in right after you had drifted off. You woke him up with a frantic slap, you were aiming for his back but in the dark, you’d hit his head. Reflexively, he kicked you right back and groaned in annoyance.

“Hobi! Wake up, where's Taehyung?!” you fired at him.

After a few long seconds, Hoseok stirred awake. "What?" he replied groggily, "He's probably taking a piss."

You whipped the blankets off of you and jumped out of bed as if you weren't sound asleep minutes ago. When you saw the bathroom door wide open and the light off, you began to panic.

"No, he's not Hoseok!" you screamed, pure hysteria in your croaky voice.

Hoseok did his best to come to, slowly rising from his pillow and rubbing his eyes. "____, calm down. He probably couldn't sleep and went outside to smoke."

You shook your head frantically. "No, Hobi! He always wakes me up for that."

Hoseok sighed and sat up, ready to humour you and engage in the search for Taehyung—who was, in Hoseok's mind, most likely raiding the fridge. You, however, were convinced he wasn't. You just had a feeling something was terribly wrong. You ran over to your nightstand to grab your phone. No texts, or missed calls. He always texted or called. Something was definitely wrong.

"____," Hoseok called to you.

You turned to him to see him on his phone, his eyebrows furrowed and you could tell it wasn't because of his phone's brightness.

"Get dressed," he commanded, "I know where he is."

It was 3 in the morning. The only reason you had paid attention to what time it was was that in darkness it lit up neon red on the dashboard of Hoseok's car. After hounding him to tell you what was going on to no avail—all you could do was stare at the little red numbers. You had no idea where you were going, no idea where Taehyung was and no idea why Taehyung left your side in the middle of the night.

You tried your best not to think about how scary the situation was. Hoseok knew you well and even though it aggravated you for him to decide to not tell you anything for the time being—you trusted him. He was keeping quiet for good reason. Maybe he didn't even have all the answers? So, you kept your questions at bay, content with the fact you weren't having a full-on panic attack. But, oh how you felt it brewing.

You knew the apartment complex Hoseok pulled into. You'd been there many times it was like another home, familiar. What wasn't familiar was the police cars parked outside, blocking off the entrance. You didn't wait for the car to come to a complete stop before you bolted out, ignoring Hoseok's calls for you. You ran into the lobby and with shaky hands hit the button for the elevator repeatedly. When it finally came you hit the button for the penthouse suite and assaulted the button for the doors to close before anyone saw you sneak into a crime scene.

It was a crime scene. When you got to the top floor you were met with yellow tape and officers hanging around. Your heartbeat was fast and loud in your eardrums, drowning out any other sound, drowning out the police officers questioning you as you stormed into the apartment you had been in a hundred times before.

You didn't know what to think. All you felt was overwhelming dread and horror as you paced frantically around the open planned living room and kitchen—trying to figure out what was going on and hoping not to see the worst. But even if it was the worst, your brain would deny believing. If anything it all felt like a bad dream—none of it made sense.

An officer eventually got a hold of you, grabbing you by the arm. "Ma'am, you can't be in here, this is a crime scene," he informed you, trying to drag you off.

"No, no, this is my friend's apartment," you argued, still terribly confused and petrified.

"You still need to leave, ma'am," the officer said, trying to haul you away again.

"No!" you screamed, fighting him for your arm back.

"It's fine, she can stay!"

You had never felt so grateful to hear a voice in your entire life. You were so relieved, you immediately started crying. He was sitting on the couch in the dark as still as a statue and you ran over to him. Having walked past that same couch in your panicked state, his stillness seemed to have camouflaged him into the furniture. When you crouched in front of him, he still didn't move. He just looked at you and through his dead eyes, you saw anguish.

"Taehyung?" you called to him softly through your tears.

He didn't respond and it prompted you to reach out to him, to grab his wet hands. Your stomach sunk. You dived for the lamp and when the light shed upon him, you forced down a dry heave. He was covered in blood.

"Oh my god!" you cried, frantically feeling him for his wounds. You began hyperventilating, calling someone, anyone for help but the words got lost in your heavy breathing. He was so pale and judging by the amount of blood covering him, he must have lost a lot. Why was no one helping him? You were trembling. You tried to lift his shirt to find the source of the bleeding but suddenly, Taehyung grabbed a firm hold of your hands.

"____," he croaked with pure heartbreak in his eyes, "it's not my blood."

You fell back onto the coffee table. At that moment, you swore time stopped. You don't know how you found your footing, but you managed. You headed straight down the hallway thinking, bedroom, bedroom, bedroom.

"No, ____," Taehyung called after you desperately, "you let me explain! YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT—”

The bedroom was crowded but you spotted a familiar face. He spotted you too, almost immediately and tried to usher you out. You protested, holding him at arm's length, searching his body for any blood or wounds through teary eyes. When you were confident he was ok, you buried your face into his chest.

“Seokjin,” you whimpered. “What the fuck’s going on?!”

He hushed you, rubbing your back. He wanted to tell you, he really did. But the fact you were so distraught already had him second-guessing telling you, almost never wanting you to know. But, of course, he couldn't shelter you from everything—especially not this.

“I’ll explain everything,” he murmured, looking over his shoulder at the bathroom door and continuing to try to push you out of the room. “We just need to leave this room first, ok?”

“Why—”

A man, an officer, a detective emerged from the ensuite with a bang. The door always banged against the wall if you pushed it just a little too much, but he wouldn't know that. This was a stranger’s apartment to him, to all of them and they were the ones to make you feel like the stranger, the intruder.

“Sir, please take her outside. We can't have you both in here— ____?”

The detective was Choi Seunghyun. You were surprised he even remembered you but then, your brain quickly connected the dots. You could have puked all over his coat and turtleneck ensemble. You could feel the blood drain from your face, you could feel yourself turn pale.

The detective had left the bathroom door wide open and staring into his concerned eyes you could see him realise his mistake. When you saw the owner of the apartment, the shock sent your whole body into numbness and caused white noise to deafen your ears. His naked body was lying on the tile, limp and contorted unnaturally. He was mutilated and soaked in blood, the red even streaking through his blonde hair—Min Yoongi's blonde hair.

You hit the floor screaming. Jin tried to haul you up again but you refused, whacking at his arms as he tried to lift you. Within seconds, Taehyung was behind you with his arms and legs enveloping you as you cried and screamed and cried. You had never before felt your heart break and crumble the way it did in that moment.

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#jungkook smut #bts smut #bangtan smut #bts #jungkook #jungkook angst #bts angst #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #taehyung angst #serial killer au #thriller au #fic*FA #mine*fic #fatal attraction 05

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howellyw · 4 years

Text

We Are Alive - Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I originally wrote this on Wattpad and decided to post it on more websites :) This is my original work, not the characters or premise, but Natasha is my character.

"Never be afraid to do the things that make you feel free."

I walk into the bar I usually go into every night and plop down at my usual seat, I come in to watch the basketball game with the boys who are always here.

"The usual?" the bartender Kevin asks me, I nod and lean against the counter.

He hands me two glasses of straight whiskey, I slowly slip one while I watch my team shoot another basket.

"What happened today, Lieutenant Parish?" Kevin asks, I shake my head and set down my cup.

"More homicides, same old same old, nothing ever fucking changes in Detroit," I say, "don't know why I signed up for this job since androids are probably gonna take it away from me" I grumble.

Kevin nods as he takes away my glass, "Ain't that the damn truth" he mutters as he turns around.

Kevin's bar is a no android bar, meaning no androids can come inside, most places run by old folks who weren't for the creation of androids don't allow androids to come in, most people are scared by androids.

I hate them, they're walking pieces of plastic that are going to steal our jobs, they offer us absolutely nothing other than doing our work for us, lord knows we don't need more lazy people in the world.

The door opens a couple of minutes later, I look up and see an android walking in, I roll my eyes and look back at my other cup, so much for a no android bar.

The android walks around the bar as if it's looking for something, but I continue to ignore it as I take another sip from my drink, hopefully, it'll just leave, it's making everyone uncomfortable.

The damn thing walks over and stands beside me, I still don't look up hoping that it'll leave me alone, I'm just trying to watch my game in peace, I really don't want to be bothered by this hunk of junk.

"Lieutenant Parish," it says, I sigh, obviously it won't leave me alone.

"My name is Connor. I'm the android sent by Cyberlife" I roll my eyes and down the rest of my drink.

"I looked for you at the station but nobody knew where you were, they said you were probably having a drink nearby," he informs me.

"I was lucky to find you at the fifth bar," he adds, I swear I can hear the tiniest bit of sarcasm behind his voice.

I scoff but continue to ignore him, hoping he'll eventually get the hint to leave me be.

"You were assigned a case early this evening, a homicide, involving a Cyberlife android."

I sigh and finally look at it, it has dark brown hair that matches its eyes and he wears the typical android outfit to be able to tell him apart from humans since these things look just like us.

"And?" I ask.

"In accordance with procedure, the company has allocated a specialized model to assist investigators."

I scoff and turn away from him, "Well I don't need any assistance, 'specially not from a plastic asshole like you" I grumble and turn back to the bar.

"Tell Cyberlife I don't need any help, I've managed just fine by myself til now," I say.

"Lieutenant Parish, I must inform you that I intend to file a report on your behavior" the thing threatens which only makes me laugh.

"Oh yeah?" I chuckle, I turn back and look at him "they're used to it, nice try though."

He remains stone-faced like my stubbornness doesn't affect him like it would a human, guess these things can't feel.

"My instructions stipulate that I have to accompany you" he informs me.

"Yeah, you know where you can stick those instructions?" I chuckle, "No, where?" the thing asks, I look at it and it looks at me with childlike curiosity.

I roll my eyes, they couldn't design androids with a sense of humor?

"Nevermind" I mumble, I wave the bartender over and ask for another drink, "You know what?" it says, maybe it'll finally leave me alone.

"I'll buy you one for the road," it says, this sparks my curiosity, "What do you say?" it asks.

I look at him then back at Kevin with a smirk "See Kevin, maybe these things are good for something" I say, Kevin chuckles but shakes his head.

The thing throws a $20 on the counter and starts to walk toward the door, "See you next week, Kev" I say to Kevin, he nods as we walk out

I walk to my car and unlock it, the thing climbs into the passenger seat and waits patiently for me to enter the car.

Once I'm in I start the car, it gives me directions to the house where the homicide was committed.

I turn on my radio to make sure that this thing won't try and talk to me, rap is playing, my favorite music genre.

Tinman leans in closer to the radio and looks at it curiously.

"Wake up in the sky by Gucci Mane," he says, I glance at it briefly before returning my attention to the road, "You know the song?" I ask.

"I know every song, it's apart of my programming" it states matter of factly, "Well would you look at that" I mumble.

"Is this your favorite type of music, Lieutenant?" he asks.

"Yeah" I mumble, it nods and turns up the volume slightly, I glance back over at it "Do you like it?" I ask.

It frowns slightly and looks at me, "Like it?" it repeats.

My brows furrow in confusion, were they not programmed to like things?

"Yeah... do you not know what that means?" I ask.

It shakes his head no, "I wasn't programmed with interests in anything or with the capability to 'like' something" it says plainly.

"So you don't have the capability to enjoy something or even fall in love with someone?" I ask.

"Love?" it questions, "no, I don't. I was created to accomplish my mission that's all" it says.

I nod, "So after your 'mission' is done, what then?" I ask, "They'll send me back to Cyberlife until the next mission is available for me," it says.

"Huh, that sounds incredibly boring," I say.

"Boring" he tests the word out.

"Can you stop fucking repeating every word I say, it's annoying" I grumble.

"I'm sorry, I'm programmed with that I need to complete my mission, words like 'love' and 'boring' are not in my programming" it states.

"So... you don't have the capability to show emotions, and on top of that, you're programmed with a limited vocabulary to further ensure you won't feel emotion" I state, I glance at the thing and see it staring at me blankly, "Precisely" it nods.

"And how does that make you feel?" I ask before I even realize how dumb that question was, "I don't feel" it says blankly before returning its attention to the road.

That's such a crazy concept to think about, no androids can feel anything so does that mean they don't have thoughts? And if they don't feel then... what do they do? Just stand around all day mindlessly doing what us humans ask of them?

I pull up to the house and see all of my coworkers outside working.

"Alright, this won't take long, just wait in here" I instruct, I don't want people asking me a hundred questions as to why I have an android following me around, and I don't want him pestering me.

"I was assigned to assist you-" it starts to say but I cut it off.

"I know what you were fucking assigned with, I said to stay in the fucking car so be a good little android and stay in the car" I command before getting out of the car.

One of the news reporters outside runs up to me "John with News 16, can you confirm that this is a homicide?" he asks, I don't even look at him as I walk past him "I'm not confirming anything" I say sternly.

I walk through the holographic police tape, and a couple of seconds later I hear a cop stop someone behind me, "Androids are not permitted beyond this point" he says, I glance back at them and see the android following me.

"Relax, Frank, he's with me," I grumble.

The Tinman walks through the tape and over to me and stares at me blankly, "What part about stay in the car do you not fucking understand?" I ask.

"Your orders contradicted my previous ones" it states, I roll my eyes "Don't talk, don't touch, and stay out of mine and everyone's way, got it?" I ask.

"Got it" it replies, I search his eyes trying to tell if it's lying but I guess androids have the ultimate poker face or was it even programmed with the capabilities of lying.

"Evening, Natasha. We were starting to think you weren't gonna show" Ted says, a guy who works at the station.

"Yeah that was the plan until this asshole found me," I say, I glance at Tinman, it tilts its head to the side almost like how a puppy does.

"So, you got yourself an android huh?" Ted smirks at me.

I wonder how this looks to everyone else, a female getting a male android, they probably think I'm going to use it for some weird sex fetish.

"Funny. Just tell me what happened" I say.

Ted, debriefs me and tells me how the landlord called the police claiming the tenant hadn't paid his rent for a few months so the landlord swung by the house and saw the victim dead.

As soon as we make it into the living room the pungent smell hits me, I think it's actually burning the hairs inside of my nostrils.

I cover my nose with my shirt "Jesus, the smell" I groan.

"Yeah, this thing's been rotting for a while," Ted says.

"Victims name is Carlos Ortiz" Ted informs me, I notice the android standing next to me looking all over the room before walking off and looking at something else.

I squat down and look at the body, he has multiple stab wounds on his chest, his skin is completely drained of all color and so are his eyes.

"I would say this poor sucker has been rotting for a good three weeks" I estimate, I turn around trying to look for a weapon and pretty close to the body is a kitchen knife.

"Probably the murder weapon" I speculate, "Any sign of a break in?" I ask, Ted shakes his head.

"Nope, the landlord said the front door was locked from the inside and all window were boarded up, possible that the killer walked out the back way," he says.

I know the victim had an android, there could be a possible relation between the two, "What do we know about his android?" I ask.

"Not much, the neighbors confirmed that he had one, but it wasn't here when we arrived" he informs me.

I guess it could have escaped but androids don't have a mind of their own so that theory doesn't work out.

I look at the wall above the victim to see the words "I Am Alive" written in what I presume is the victim's blood.

The handwriting itself is incredibly neat, I look over and see tinman standing next to me again staring at the writing.

"I don't think this was written by a human, it's way too neat," I think out loud, it nods and studies the writing.

"It was written by an android" it confirms.

It looks down at the knife and then does something completely unexpected, it sticks its finger in the blood and then licks its finger.

"Oh, what the hell? The fuck are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm analyzing the blood" it responds matter of factly, "I can check samples in real time," it says, I wince and look away from it.

"I'm sorry I should have warned you," it says, "Okay, just don't do it in front of me," I say.

I notice a bag of red stuff sitting on his coffee table, I clench my fist in anger as I pick it up, it's Red Ice, an extremely addictive substance people love to abuse.

It's fucked up how most everyone in the world is addicted to this stupid substance, it offers no benefits to anyone but yet everyone still uses it.

"He was stabbed 28 times in the chest and abdomen," the android says from behind me, I turn around and notice it examining the body.

"Seems like the killer really had it in for him then," I say.

The android walks away and towards the kitchen so I follow it, it opens the back door and looks outside.

"Door was locked from the inside" I inform it, "killer must have gone out this way" I finish.

Tinman shakes its head, "There are no footprints, apart from officer Collins' size 10 shoes" it states.

I lean against the doorframe and stare at it as it looks out at the yard, its eyes squint as if it's thinking.

So androids do have thoughts?

But I guess they don't think like us if they don't have emotion, so their thoughts are probably blank observations.

"Well this happened weeks ago, tracks could have faded" I state.

"No" it shakes his head, "this type of soil would've retained a trace" it informs me, god they really did make it a genius.

"Nobody's been out here for a long time," it says and looks at me.

It turns back around and walks into the house, I look back into the backyard and nod to myself, so if the killer didn't leave through the front or back door then he must still be inside the house somewhere.

But there's no way that the killer could still be in the house without anyone finding him, right?

I walk back into the living room and consult with Ted before tinman walks back over to me, "Lieutenant" it says.

"I'll be outside if you need me," Ted says, I nod and then turn my attention to the android.

"I think I figured out what happened," it says, the corners of my mouth turn up in a smirk.

"Oh yeah?" I ask, it nods affirmatively, "Alright then, shoot, I'm all ears," I say.

"It all started in the kitchen," it says and walks towards the kitchen, I follow it and look down at the ground where a bat lays along with some fallen over chairs.

"There're obvious signs of a struggle... The question is; what exactly happened here" I say and look at it expectantly, testing it, if he can figure this out then he earns my respect.

"I think the victim attacked the android with the bat" it continues, I nod, "That lines up with the evidence," I say.

"The android then stabbed the victim" it finishes.

"So the android was trying to defend itself right?" I ask, "Correct, the victim then fled to the living room" we both walk into the living room and stand in front of the victim.

"So the victim was trying to get away from the android," I say with a nod, "The android murdered the victim with the knife" it finishes.

"Alright, that theory's not completely ridiculous, but it doesn't tell us where the android went to" I remind it.

"It was damaged by the bat and lost some thirium," it says and looks at me, I look at it confused, "Thirium, you call it blue blood. It's the fluid that powers androids biocomponents" it explains.

"It evaporates after a few hours and becomes invisible to the naked eye," it informs me.

"But I bet you can still see it, can't you?" I ask, "Correct" it nods, I smirk and step out of his way.

"Alright then, go ahead and lead the way," I say.

It leads us to the hallway that leads to the bathroom, it crouches down and glances at the ground before standing up and then looking at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking?" I ask, "I need something to get up there," it says, "Gotcha" I reply.

I walk back into the kitchen and grab a chair, I bring it back to where the android is and places it against the wall.

"Wait here, I won't be long," it says, it climbs up onto the chair and into the attic.

I hear it walking for a bit but then it stops, and it stays that way for a minute or so.

"Hey, Tinman! What the hell is going on up there?" I yell up to it, "It's here, Lieutenant" it yells back.

"Holy shit, Ted, Ben, get your asses in here now" I command.

#connor rk800 #upgraded connor #connor #rk800 #dbh #dbh rk900 #dbh fanfic #dbh connor #fanfic #fanfiction #robot #android

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