#disclaimer I watch the assholes on YouTube

[cecenyss]

I’m using my grandma’s TV and I’d just like to know what the fuck are Silver Quill and FireBrand doing here?? These are actual episodes they’re just assholes on YouTube

[aouiaa]

[✶] — YOUTUBER!ELLIE HEADCANNONS

DISCLAIMERS & WARNINGS — EIGHTEEN PLUS, Mentions of pooping + Cursing (Girl cursing like she just learned) + Mention of hand pics (I think that’s it).

AUTHORS NOTE, took fucking forever to make that image, but i love it. — inspo layout: @andersonfilms :3

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who is blatantly honest on youtube. It’s scary.

She’s playing a random indie video game she found on steam, and giving her commentary as usual. Until there’s a sudden cut and she’s now in different clothes than the previous and she goes on to explain why.

“Hey, guys. Sorry, I had to take a massive shit, but guess who survived? This guy!” she says with a comical smile while pointing at herself before unpausing the game and playing as if nothing happened.

But for some reason, Youtuber!Ellie can’t let go that she pooped.

“But yeah, guys, like, shit, that fucker was begging to come out, so I’m sorry if I was acting different. I was clenching my asshole.”

How charming….ANYWAYS.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s videos who have these stupid sound effects or pop-up memes for certain scenes.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie having a resting bitch face when she’s focused.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who cusses too much even in her intro, she’s literally cussing.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who got a warning from YouTube themselves for it.

Imaging Youtuber!Ellie who literally said “Fuck that, I’m not following Youtube’s rules.” and continued cussing until she realized that she was getting less ads on her videos to which she decided to do a test. To see if her subscribers would notice if she did a full video, not cursing.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s laughing while reading the comments on the video.

DarthVaderfan101: “Yo, y’all noticed how Ellie didn’t cuss once?”

Quacketyquack12: “Great vid btw no cussing?! THAT’S A FIRST!”

Elliesprettygirl: Sooo when’s our wedding?

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who does eventually swallows her pride and abides by Youtube’s rules.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie whose user is some cringe 2011 based name; Ellieswolfgang.

God, I can just fucking imagine Youtuber!Ellie intro and how it would correlate with the user.

“Yo! What’s up my little wolves! *Queue the wolf howling* We are back with another video and today we’re playing another puppet combo game!”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who thinks it’s too hilarious, and doesn’t change the username. And it’s always funny to see people every now and then comment about it.

Iloveellieswolfgang: “Woah, are we apart of your pack or something?”

Ellieswolfgang: Yeah, if you’re subscribed then you’re a part of the gang.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has the most funniest responses when replying to fans.

Wolfgangnation: “Yo, Ellieswolfgang! 👋”

Ellieswolfgang: “Yo, Wolfgangnation!”

Dyk3ang3l: AHHHH I LITERALLY JUMPED WHEN I SAW YOUR NOTIFICATION POP UP ON MY PHONE JEHDBSHAS

Ellieswolfgang: Ma’am, this is a library.

les4elliewilliams: So why is your name, Ellieswolfgang?

Ellieswolfgang: I don’t know, les4elliewilliams. Why is yours, les4elliewilliams?

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who wakes up at the asscrack of dawn—her words—to make Youtube videos, and edits them before eight am.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who is known for her out of pocket humor.

“That isn’t a guy! That’s an ass with eyes!”

“GodDAMN, that bitch can lick three assholes from that tongue.”

Imaging Youtuber!Ellie who asks her followers on twitter to send her funny videos or scary videos to react to.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who flinched so hard while watching a scary video a subscriber sent, she fell off her chair.

Gamerpro121: “Surprised she didn’t fall off her chair this time LMAOO

Ellieswolfgang: Literally the lowest point in my life… 💔

Gamerpro121: Oh shit, sorry man.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has to explain her jokes from time to time because some boomer doesn’t get it.

Ellieswolfgang: No, not actually. 😭 nvm..

Gamerpro121: Oh…OHHHH

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was shocked when her merch quickly sold out after minutes of it just being released.

“Holy fuck, thank you guys for selling out my merch?! Didn’t expect that shit to happen! Man, y’all attacked it like flies attacking shit!”

Charming as always…

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who sometimes blogs, showing her day to day life, going to the gym, running errands, rating foods from restaurants, etc.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who reacts to edits her fans make of her and is also shocked how many people love her hands.

“Woah, fuck youtube, Ima start selling hand pics. Missing the real bag here.”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who collabs with her best friend Jesse, playing GTA, Minecraft, cod, and whatever games that her subscribers suggest since they love their dynamic.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s fans who love her dynamic with Jesse because they’re always talking shit to each other.

“You dumbass! That guy was right in front of you!” Ellie yells at Jesse who just got them killed during a 1v1 on Fortnite.

“How is this my fault? It’s not my fault, you suck!”

“Says you! A blind three year old can play better than you.”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who makes a video reading hate comments.

Allthegirlslove: “Ellie looks like she smells like shit!”

“Well…Allthegirlslove, new flash, All the girls don’t love you because they’re too busy watching my videos.” She says with a smirk, “And new flash,” she stops and sniffles herself, “I just shower before making this video, thank you very much.”

The video cuts and starts again of her showing the cologne she uses, “This is what I use, buy one and spray it in ya ass!”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who actually dresses to impress when she’s about to record a new video.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has her serious moments on the channel and that’s when the true love and support come into light. And she is truly grateful for the fans who can put the joking aside and just be there for her.

Youtuber!Ellie who genuinely loves how far her channel has come since she first started, and genuinely appreciates everyone who helped her meet her milestones.

FIRST PART - NEXT PART

TAGLIST ; @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @ellies2fingers, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101

ELLIES TAGLIST ; @herelieskrisy, @mikellie, @slaysksmska, @mina-281, @teawithnosugar, @kitkatkittycat111

[tineeericeee]

I just finished watching The Borrowers (2011) for free on YouTube with subtitles, so of course that put me in the mood to write some g/t Psych headcannons

Disclaimer: Like I just said, this is going to be g/t hcs of Psych. If you are a g/t and psych fan, then this is for you.

If you are a fan of Psych and you know what g/t is but you’re not a fan of it, this is not for you. If don’t know what g/t is but you would like to find out, go here and here (don’t worry, istg it’s nothing bad). And who knows? I might just be able to convert you to the dark side /j

If you are a fan of g/t but you’re not a fan of psych, then this is not for you. Or maybe it could be. I don’t know, maybe you’re desperate enough for g/t content you’ll read hcs of a fandom you’re not part of. But if you don’t know what Psych is, I highly recommend watching all 8 seasons plus the movies.

Still here? Awesome. The headcannons are below the cut

What Shawn would do if he found a borrower:

*sigh* this is gonna be so self indulgent

Shawn’s in his third apartment since he moved to Santa Barbara when he notices things going missing.

Just little things, nothing a normal person would see.

But then again, he’s not exactly normal, what with Shawn’s dad training and fine-tuning his eye for detail and eidetic memory since he was a baby (literally. there’s a flashback in Cloudy With a Chance of Remake at the beginning that shows baby Shawn and Henry at the courthouse).

Anyway

He notices small stuff that should be there but isn’t, like crumbs from the counter and paper clips from certain files he stole from the station. And he notices things that shouldn’t be there but are, like a hole in his cereal box.

Shawn thinks it’s a mouse, but he’s not sure how it doesn’t leave any other evidence behind, and why it would need office supplies.

He can’t exactly afford fancy traps, so he makes one: a crude box trap that has a roof that looks like a floor, but when walked on it would cave in.

Shawn sprinkles a little bit of food around the trap. Nothing too big, just more crumbs. He even spreads it in areas that aren’t part of the trap just to make it less suspicious.

And he waits.

It’s not long of a wait.

Just a day after he set it up, it had been set off.

He’s coming home from the psych office when he see that his trap caught something.

It looked like it had been shuffled around a couple inches, like whatever was in the box had rammed against the sides, trying to tip it over.

But it wasn’t moving right now.

Shawn almost thought there wasn’t anything inside, and the mouse — or whatever — had escaped.

Until he opened it.

The last thing he expected to see was a small person, no bigger than three or four inches tall.

They’re curled up in a corner, shaking.

He doesn’t even think twice before reaching in and grabbing them with both hands, much to their dismay.

Shawn feels them wiggling around, little hits and kicks colliding with his palms and fingers.

His hands open so they aren’t completely trapped in the dark (and so he can get a better look at them).

Almost immediately he notices the tears streaking down their face.

ohshit.jpeg

He feels like an asshole now, and the tiny is super scared and has curled up into a little ball.

Shawn tries convincing them he’s not gonna hurt them, but they don’t listen to him.

So he just starts making jokes — not at their expense, of course — and telling them the adventures he and Gus would go on while solving crime.

Slowly they begin to open up themselves little by little, and even crack a grin at one of his stories.

When he sees that they’re relaxed, he introduces himself. And much to his pleasure, they hesitantly introduce themself as well.

Yeah uh. That’s pretty much it. I’m gon write more for the other three, too.

[kustas]

sorry for the more critical requests before.

Top 10 anime that you think went under the radar or are generally unknown

Top 10 anime you like the world building of

It's all good! I'm not gonna know enough anime for all this so I'll do the broad categories.

Anime I like that's unknown or went under the radar

The reason why I spent so many posts shilling Inu-oh is because of how hard it was flopping in american theaters. Many things factored in it but still disappointing. It's a great movie!

Related ish, I had a lot of fun watching Heike Story and saw nobody talk about it.

One of my favorite shows I watched this year was the second season of Megalobox which I had never heard of. The first season is not good though

"what if Ghibli made-" have you seen Ronja yet? If not watch Ronja. I can bet most of you will not have watched Ronja

While I'm at it Castle Cagliostro is by no means recent but it's a delight

One of the best kid's shows I watched was Ōban Star-racers which I've never seen talked about online at all barring french people. It's a cute and clever show with extremely Y2K designs and it's just a fun time. Should be entirely up on YouTube for free, if you're in the mood for jetix type nostalgia go wild, it's pretty short

Speaking of stuff that's free on YT: the little prince and the eight headed dragon! An old movie (1960s) with an amazing art style

Third round of free on YT: the animated Ramayana. It's a long one so prepare for that but I liked it a lot. Got remastered recently too so if you want to buy it in HD

Shows (... and I'm adding manga) who's worldbuilding I like

Mushishi. Mushishi is a lovely, well thought of and touching show in the first place who drifts seamlessly between horror and slice of life. The worldbuilding aspect that rules is the presentation of the mushi at each episode, their variety and creativity and how they are portrayed as beings and as part of an ecosystem.

Letter Bee. I'll give a disclaimer - the worldbuilding is pretty much the only good thing about this series especially if you are watching it. But in terms of casually presented fantasy world, it's original, insanely in-depth and the manga treats you with a bunch of extra information about locations, folk tales and things that are a treat.

Dungeon Meshi manages to take every generic fantasy trope but spin it with an eye for biology and history to make it fresh again. The author also gives via blog posts and bonus pages a whole bunch of details that aren't in the main series yet are interesting to know.

The first half of Castle in the Sky has to be one of, if not my favorite works of fantasy of all times for how magically it depicts a bunch of very normal people living in a land that is rather alien if you squint.

Politics are usually my least favorite worldbuilding topic, but I found myself drawn by the relationship between political drama, science and large scale environmental catastrophes that makes up the backdrop for the story of Number 5

Cowboy Bebop... The chill little human pockets of life in space, their variety and cluttered quaint goodness, the musical backgrounds for them, it's all so good

Dorohedoro's worldbuilding is stupid and it works so damn well. Having God be an asshole with ADHD tendencies explains so much

[youreverydayestj]

ESTJ Hate: A Rant From an ESTJ’s Perspective

TLDR: ESTJs are not jerks, narcissists, or arrogant assholes. ANY type can be like that, so knock it off and stop bullying them.

As the title says, this blog/ article is going to be a rant about the type community and their attitude toward ESTJs.

And this hate can be applied to other types, like my fellow ESFJs and any sensor in the community.

But today we’ll focus on the most hated MBTI type: ESTJs (aka my type).

Disclaimer 

I sincerely hope that you’ll read this article with an open mind and please try to understand where I’m coming from despite the… heated tone this article has. 😅 

I get it if you think I’m mistyped, but I’m not gonna prove my type to you. Take it or leave it. (It's not this article's point anyway).

If I’m wrong about my type, then so be it.

But I hope that this article will take the heat off of ESTJs, because whether I’m one or not – they don’t deserve the hate and bullying. (Nobody does).

So if you hate ESTJs so much that you’re just going to barrage me with hate comments, or if you’re not open to learning more about them, then feel free to skip this article (and this whole blog).

But if you *are* open, then proceed unto the forbidden scrolls of wisdom. 📜 *magical gate opening noises*

Why do people hate ESTJs so much?

If you’ve been into MBTI for any amount of time, you know that everyone hates ESTJs. Like… a lot.

(Fun fact: We’re the #1 most hated type in the community 🥳🙌)

And it’s not hard to see why.

Because, according to the infallable internet, we ESTJs are:

Tradition-oriented/ anti-progression

Bullies, jackasses, and know-it-alls who refuse to admit we’re wrong

anti-INFP (according to a YouTube video thumbnail lmao)

Control freaks and micromanagers

Extremely insecure and obsessed with social status

Unrealistic perfectionists whose lives revolve around work, recognition, and climbing up the ladder

Narcissists and insecure as hell

The enemy and ultimate roadblock to change

Stuck in our ways

Mean, cruel, heartless, hot-tempered

Smacking everyone on the head with a rulebook

Anti-individuality

Obsessed with getting recognition

Stepping on everyone’s toes to get their way no matter what

Stubborn for no reason

Always angry, pissed, and yelling at everyone for no reason

Desperate to be in charge, power-hungry assholes who shouldn’t be in charge

Terrible with people and hated by everyone who has to work with us

Bossy control freaks

The list goes on and on, and so does the endless hate.

*sighs and slides down wall*

If I had a penny for every time someone changed their mind about me as a person after doing a type reveal, I’d be set for the rest of my miserable life. *faint kazoo goes off in the background*

Then again, I can see why people would hate us with these extreme descriptions… even though it’s stupid.

ESTJs have a double whammy in MBTI: We’re both Te users, and SJs.

Let’s face it: Most people wanna be a Ti user, or at least that’s what I’ve seen.

Apparently, Ti means you have a brain and can think for yourself, while Te... is just bossy or domineering.

But, of course, ENTJs and INTJs don’t get any hate because they have Ni, which is supposedly future-oriented and not stuck in tradition. *cough cough, Si can be like this too*

SJs, who have high Si, are stereotyped as… well… traditional.

Si is described as *super* boring at best, and sounds like they don’t have anything interesting going on in their lives.

Apparently, if you’re an SJ, you’re alllll about upholding traditions and that’s it.

Not only do we not change the world, we keep change from happening.

We’re stabilizers, and incapable of having fun, or having deep conversations with people cuz we’re not intuitives.

That’s a giant pile of stereotype-infused crap, by the way. ^

Si is NOT about tradition.

If you wanna understand what Si *actually* is, then watch the following video, and/or read the blog I’m linking below.

Introverted Sensing with Your Chill ISFJ featured on Joyce Meng’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V5NYzCPjh0&t=347s

Exploring Si from Practical Typing: https://practicaltyping.com/2022/10/20/exploring-introverted-sensing-si/

(I’ll link these at the bottom of this blog too, so feel free to check these out later).

So now begins the rant. Enjoy. *deeply inhales like Leorio*

TLDR: ESTJs can be nice, empathetic, open-minded people. We are NOT pissed off Karens who wanna dictate your life.

ANY type can be a control freak, angry, pissed off, controlling, etc.

If you’re typing someone as an ESTJ because of stereotypes and that list of ESTJ traits the internet came up with, you’re typing people wrong.

Stereotypes are fun for a while, but they get old quick – like your favorite food. Or memes.

Instead, if you wanna learn more about MBTI and typology, you need to learn the cognitive functions and learn the nuances.

(Spoiler alert: There are *lots* of them. This isn’t 16 personalities or dichotomies).

Stereotypes are great for starting out and building a foundation.

But you need to go further if you wanna understand type and people (or yourself, if you’re as self-absorbed as I am).

And honestly? It’s way more interesting that way. :P

If you wanna understand Extraverted Thinking in INTJs, ENTJs, ISTJs, and ESTJs, read these two articles.

My favorite article: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/

The Dual Nature of Te: https://practicaltyping.com/2020/12/07/the-dual-nature-of-te/

If you’re struggling to find your type, then these could help. Keep an open mind about it, since Te is HEAVILY misunderstood.

Either way, you’ll learn something new and you won’t regret it. :) 

So while we’re here, let’s talk about some ESTJ stereotypes and bust them.

Feel free to grab some Ruffles while you’re at it, cuz this is gonna be a long one.

Why are ESTJs so mean?

We’re not. Or at least not on purpose.

Everyone has a different idea of what being nice and being mean are. But if we’re talking extremes, I’m gonna assume you’re imagining us screaming our heads off and making you cry at work.

In that case, that’s not an ESTJ.  Anyone can be mean, including feelers. Anyone can lose their temper and lash out.

That’s something outside of type.

If you wanna figure out someone’s MBTI type, you need to find out *why* they’re doing what they’re doing. I cannot stress enough that MBTI is about the WHY and HOW, **NOT** the “what.”

Are they frustrated because they were thwarted and missed a deadline?

Were they having an off day? (Happens to everyone)

Are they healthy or unhealthy?

Are they secure or insecure? What are they insecure or worried about, WHY, and HOW are they dealing with it?

How do they see themselves? What’s their biggest problem and why?

Etc. Etc. Etc.

You need to ask yourself (and them, if you can) questions like those ^ if you wanna type someone so you can get a well-rounded view of them.

In other words: If you wanna get better at finding people’s MBTI type or your own, you need a well-rounded view of them.

And even then, you may not get it right even if you’ve spent a long time observing this person or talking to them. Frustrating, I know.

Typing people is hard because people are complicated and nuanced. I’ll probably write an article about typing people and all that jazz later on.

Anyway, this is turning into a ramble.

The point is: Being a jerk does NOT make someone an ESTJ. And being nice doesn’t mean they can’t be one.

Being a narcissistic, controlling, arrogant know-it-all doesn’t make anyone an xSTJ. Period.

2. Why are ESTJs hated?

Simple: Stereotypes. ESTJs are often described in the worst light humanly possible while other types get a pass or praise for doing the same things we do. *end credits start rolling*

All jokes aside, most people don’t understand what high Te and high Si look like in real life.

They just assume that Te doms are bossy workaholics who love making people cry, and that SJs are stuck in their ways and refuse to change. (This is incorrect).

Combine the two, and you get STJs: the types no one wants to be. (Spoiler alert: NTJs and STJs are FAR more similar than you think).

Sure, every stereotype may have some truth to it, but ESTJs get FAR more hate than any type I’ve seen.

Spend a day on type databases, discord groups, etc. and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

“ESTJs are bossy, mean, controlling, traditional, and stuck in the past. They have no lives or meaning outside of work as a manager, and they hate INFPs. They’re efficient, but that’s the only good thing about them.”

Every blog ever

*rolls eyes* ^ This is just… *sighs*

It’s genuinely ridiculous how much hate an ESTJ gets compared to their glorified intuitive counterpart.

One letter makes a world of a difference. (People do be simping for ENTJs 😩💦). And no, I'm not jealous.

Don’t get me wrong – There are plenty of solid blogs about us out there.

Unfortunately, most people don’t find them or read them, since first impressions mean *a lot.*

Like the list way up there said, ESTJs are described in the worst light possible.

We have way more cons than pros, and the pros we *do* have make us look like workaholics, or at the very best, as managers with no lives or hobbies outside of work. -_-

Don’t get me wrong – we can absolutely become workaholics. I, myself, find most of my fulfillment in work. (Yeah, I’m not helping my case, am I? 😐)

But guess what? ANYONE can become a workaholic. ANYONE can be mean. ANYONE can be a nightmare boss or co-worker to work with.

Instead of assuming that every mean person is an ESTJ, try to figure out WHY they’re that way… or if they even think they’re that way.

Thinkers tend to be direct… assuming they’re not struggling with trauma, low self-esteem, etc. (Which any type can, including ESTJs).

No, I'm not excusing asshole behavior. I'm trying to say that thinkers generally don't see their direct nature as a problem.

But chances are, if you were honest about how they were, they'll stop. Or at least the healthy ones will adapt.

I’d offer another list of scenarios, but that’ll turn into a ramble. And I think you get the idea. 🙃

Side tangent aside, believe it or not: We have lives outside of work, and not every single one of us are career-oriented people or workaholics. :wow:

Lazy ESTJs exist. But chances are, they’re probably mistyped as a different type, since Te doms aren’t described in a realistic light.

And even when they are, they’re pigeon-holed as workaholics. (Which is stereotypical thinking at best).

And even if we were: There’s nothing wrong with that. If you like work, regardless of your MBTI type, go work.

Don’t let anyone bully or pressure you into doing or not doing something.

3. Why are ESTJs so judgmental?

Because we’re human. *flips hair*

Everyone judges everything regardless of their type, whether you like it or not.

I guess the question here is: Why are we so loud and obnoxiously vocal about it? Well, we may not be.

Being vocal about something means you need to be confident in it. That confidence may be true confidence, or just arrogance to mask insecurity.

And believe it or not – ESTJs can go either way.

In other words, this is NOT a type thing! Everyone judges everything, since we all have two judging functions.

And even then, despite being Te doms, we may not choose to share or vocalize our opinions on things if we struggle with low self-esteem, self-doubt, or anxiety.

We can often shut down and choose a passive or cooperative way of doing things.

It just depends on our mood, how confident we're feeling, etc. Te can be used in a supportive way.

It’s almost like we’re humans, and not a stereotype that can only default to one reaction towards insecurity...

Finally, we’re “judgmental” because the internet just wants to paint us in a bad light whenever possible and lift INFPs up. And it pisses me off. (No, I don't hate INFPs).

When an INFP chooses to stand up for what they believe in, they’re praised and glorified as an underdog who’s trying to change the world.

But when an ESTJ does the same or similar thing, they’re shat on for being stubborn, arrogant, angry, and narrow-minded know-it-alls who can’t stand change.

Do you see the HYPOCRISY there?

And no – I don’t hate INFPs. In fact, I have INFP friends I like spending time with. (Yeah. Believe it or not, ESTJs and INFPs **can** get along. It’s about MATURITY, common interests, etc. NOT TYPE).

Why are ESTJs obsessed with social status, looking good, and protecting their reputation?

Because we’re human, and that’s what EVERYONE does to an extent.

I don’t care what your type is. Everyone cares about how they’re seen to some extent.

Sure, you got some apathetic people who have given up on life and decided to F it, but everyone has insecurities and everyone either cares or used to care.

Welcome to being human.

As for being obsessed with social status and image, this could happen for a variety of reasons, but the biggest one is that they're insecure. (Duh).

The important thing to consider here is WHAT they’re insecure about and WHY they’re insecure.

Sure, a Te dom can be obsessed with status and image, but guess what? So can FPs and Ti/Fe users.

However, I will acknowledge that this particular insecurity with how you’re seen and status tends to point to an imbalance between your introverted judging (Ji) and extraverted judging (Je) function.

In other words, you’re more likely to be an EJ or IP if you struggled with this your whole life.

Again, the key words here are “more likely.” Any type can be insecure and image-focused.

Nutshell: An insecure ESTJ can become obsessed with how other people see them, but insecurity and obsessing over how people see you is NOT an ESTJ thing. Any type can do this.

Are ESTJs narcissists?

No. They can be, but being a narcissist isn’t the same as being an ESTJ.

ANY type can be stubborn, gaslight, refuse to change their mind, and display narcissistic behaviors.

Any type can:

Be arrogant

Gaslight

think they’re always right

Manipulate people

beobsessed with their image

Be cruel, humiliate people, become abusive

Be a pain to be around/ toxic

Etc.

ANY. TYPE.

And no – narcissism is not more common in ESTJs. Every type has an equal shot of becoming this way.

If you’re using the ESTJ label, or any MBTI type to justify or explain your or someone else’s toxic behavior, then you need to look somewhere else because being a toxic and difficult person has NOTHING to do with your actual type.

HOW and WHY you do what you do can point to your type. Not the behavior itself.

So slapping a label onto someone who’s like that and calling them an ESTJ is lazy vibe typing at the very best.

So what should you do in that situation? I don’t know. (Yeah, real helpful, I know).

But calling them an ESTJ and shitting on them isn’t going to help you *or* them.

People get stressed out, lash out, and snap. It’s part of being human.

But if they’re a narcissist, and you want advice on how to deal with narcissists, you’ll have to look somewhere else.

Why are ESTJs so bossy?

It depends on how you define ‘bossy.’

Like I mentioned earlier, every neutral trait an ESTJ may have immediately gets put in the worst possible light, and it’s stupid. (Yeah, I’m a little worked up and frustrated at this).

Sure, narcissistic, know-it-all ESTJs exist, but guess what?

ANY TYPE can be narcissistic, arrogant, and a know-it-all who refuses to consider alternative options.

Here’s a possible answer though: Te users tend to sound FAR more set in stone than we actually are.

Therefore, we can *sound* bossy even though we don't mean to.

Chances are, we’re open to feedback and we WILL change our minds if you give us a good reason.

Tertiary Ne *does* make us more open to sudden changes than our IJ counterparts. 🙃

Hell, we’ll gladly put you in charge if we think you know what you’re doing.

(Which is honestly not that hard. I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things, and I like using my Te to SUPPORT people and systems, not necessarily lead).

Why are ESTJs so insensitive and disrespectful?

We’re not. Or at least we don’t mean to be.

Again, it depends on what you consider insensitive, disrespectful, mean, etc.

Cuz here’s the thing: Most ESTJs don’t see themselves that way because they think they’re just saying it as it is.

Unless they had a traumatic past, struggle with low self-esteem, or something that made them soften their Te (which is pretty common) – they’re probably just being direct.

But I can promise you this: A HEALTHY ESTJ WILL change when you give them feedback.

Unhealthy ones may get stuck up, but being stubborn, arrogant, or defiant against feedback are NOT signs you or the person you can’t stand is an ESTJ.

ESTJs have inferior Fi, which can make them incredibly empathetic if they’ve experienced what you did.

People don’t often realize it, but inferior Fi (assuming we haven’t suppressed it) influences us WAY more than most people realize. (And it’s not surprising, since we never talk about it lol).

An ESTJ with decently developed Fi, or someone who was raised to be empathetic, sympathetic, nice, etc. will NOT look like the description. (That’s a good thing, by the way).

I suspect that many conflict-avoidant or even people-pleasing ESTJs get mistyped as other types because of this, including me.

I mistyped as every type except ESTP and INFJ before finding my type because I couldn’t relate to the description at all.

But this article, along with other minor things, changed my mind on possibly being a high Te user: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/ 

Why do ESTJs think they know everything, make you feel stupid, and crap?

I’ll admit that Te can sound a lot more certain and set in stone than it actually is, so this has a little credit to it.

But, in a nutshell, condescending behavior is NOT a sign that someone is an ESTJ.

This know-it-all, condescending, narcissistic image that everyone has of us makes me roll my eyes and it gets tiring.

We’ll probably barrage you with questions if what you’re saying doesn’t match up with what we think or know is true.

But guess what? Every type can do this. It’s called thinking for yourself, which is a good thing.

I’ll admit we can sound arrogant to certain types, and it can feel like we’re insisting we’re right, but we’re just trying to see if you know what you’re talking about.

After all – Te *is* about competence and authority.

TLDR: Any type can do this. It’s not an ESTJ thing.

Why are ESTJs so angry, have a hot temper, and get mad so easily?

I can’t speak for every ESTJ, but I usually get this way when someone gets in my way. If I want something, I (usually) go get it.

So when someone or something thwarts me, it pisses me off.

And if you’re being honest with yourself, you could probably relate to that to *some* extent.

In other words: Having a short temper is NOT an ESTJ thing.

It depends on WHY you or the person you hate has a short temper.

But honestly?

When I am thwarted, my pissed off-ness comes off as frustration most of the time, not necessarily fire-breathing rage. (And even if it did, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that :P)

Why do ESTJs never change their mind?

Another wonderful stereotype. *rolls eyes*

We can get stubborn about getting something done a certain way because people don’t do it up to a standard. This is generally a GOOD thing.

Standards exist for a reason. Standards create consistency, AND THIS IS A GOOD THING.

Especially in fields where safety is critical, like construction, engineering, or any field that involves maintaining consistency.

We can also get stubborn about our opinions and think we’re right… but so can any type.

I find it funny how ESTJs get shat on for not changing our minds while other types (like INFPs) get praised for having a backbone.

The hypocrisy is stupid at best and makes me wanna roll my eyes at people who think of ESTJs as the devil and INFPs as these wonderful angelic creatures who we torment for fun at work.

On a serious note, healthy ESTJs are open to possibilities and change because of tertiary Ne.

We got a playful contemplative side that can make us mistype as NFPs or any other type.

If you don’t see that side in us, it’s probably because we’re not in the mood, you don’t know us well enough, or cuz we don’t like you.

And ESTJs will absolutely change their mind if they find your reasoning is better, or your process is more efficient.

Funny how people say we’re stubborn and refuse to change our minds while accusing us of being mindless sheep who follow the crowd… *insert gigantic eye roll and facepalm*

Bonus question: Why do people hate ESTJs so much?

Because it’s the internet, and the internet loves pity parties and shitting on a type together.

Stereotyping ESTJs into these angry, narcissistic, arrogant know-it-alls is much easier (and meme-able) than understanding Te, Si, and all that jazz.

And if I’m being honest, I used to care. And if I’m being *really* honest, I still do care.

That’s why I’m writing this stupid article so I can hope that at least *one* person can change their minds about us, or at least consider it.

Anyway, that’ll be all for this article. I know it was super repetitive, but I wanted to be thorough and make a point.

(Point is: Stop bullying ESTJs).

Now, if you have any questions or comments, comment down below or shoot me a dm here on Tumblr!

I’m mostly running this blog for fun to throw my thoughts out, so I won't be super active. I'll throw out more articles and blogs in the future if I'm feelin' it :P

Referenced Articles You Should Check Out:

If you wanna learn more about Extraverted Thinking, read this: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/

Why Te users can be nice in the right context: https://practicaltyping.com/2020/12/07/the-dual-nature-of-te/ 

Video featuring Your Chill ISFJ onJoyce Meng’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V5NYzCPjh0&t=347s 

Si from Practical Typing: https://practicaltyping.com/2022/10/20/exploring-introverted-sensing-si/ 

[stardustmade009]

12/29/23 Hasan Piker said to please defend him more, finally I have been given the permission I need to sephiroth post. Late Christmas Early New Year Miracle!!!! Drama frog rejoice

(cross posting from reddit)

Hi long time lurker. And look, this is a page about HASAN PIKER. This is the place for what I'm about to do, I'm a girl with a bunch of interests and sometimes those interests intersect in ways I just sit on for years cause quite honestly I'm using "girl" v loosely and I'm 31 woman and I know what "cringe" is because I wrote the book, so I just kinda shit post in comments on twitter to release the stress of being a fan of Hasan, and I don't have a twitter anymore, so I thought I was just going to have to die on this.

But finally, on this day I was watching a clip from the 12-29-23 at 4 in the morning cause I got off work early (https://youtu.be/kMwQQmVMcAw?si=XhjWf6R_O5UgH9MX&t=294) and I got all I need to let out about 4 years of built up Hasan drama. So mods, Daddy said I could so please please please don't delete this. This is perfect fodder on who to block personally and as I will elaborate, I done my time in this community, just let me have my soap box.

Who am I and what give me this authority? (a disclaimer) As stated above I'm up at 4 am, and this is "off early", I work nightshift factory job in middle america who's worked there for 10 years with a long side story I will not bore you with. I found Hasan when he did the breakdown on fb and just liked the way he broke down the news. Is he a perfect person? No. There are many things I wish he didn't do. (Hoobastank) But on the whole, solid person who's world view is refreshing to listen to and I don't lose sleep in supporting my like in him because he tries to be ethical with his spending and its like $5, come on, I can spend $5 to enjoy myself ad free at that top of the hour if I want. I work 12 hour shifts.

But as I said, I work 12 hours, and where Hasan sometimes makes 10 hours of content, I also have other interests and sometimes I'm doing that, sometimes I'm a drama girlie (and it's super sexist if you judge me), sometimes I'm a goblin. And boy howdy how I wish the drama girlies would rally around Hasan because he's chill with QT and Rae, cause then I wouldn't have to do this myself. But alas, we must all sometimes be the change we want to see in the world, and the drama girlies don't know about this filth, so here I am. Youtube channel-less and angry. So I'm gonna vent about the latest drama here for a moment cause I've been sitting on this need since Hasan's biggest mistake, befriend the worlds more admired online deadbead father since Onision, Steven Kenneth Bonnell II (wiki).

The Meat and Potatoes (If you don't want my auto-bio but wanna be a drama goblin with me) I find it ABSOLUTELY INSANE that ANYONE in the dgg orbit thinks they get to get their fucking panties in a twist over "edgy jokes" like mocking Claira "Harassed a woman over a tweet about a cookbook for two years" Sorrenti doing cocaine with a Road Runner gif when she went on a very public bender and harassed every fucking person she could and hides behind being a fucking addict instead of showing even a drop of remorse for her action past the "I want to keep my job and keep calling myself the one true leftist so I'm sorry uwu" video/clip from a stream she didn't even have the time to do on its own, I don't remember but I watched it and she was full of shit cause I don't believe the cocaine bender was 2 years, aka the amount of time she harassed Roslyn Talusan, unless those "tasty noodles" has the flour subbed out with cocaine.

"Oh but but but Hasan said the r slur that one time" harks the orbitor. oh, wow. The community where if I even could edit there is no program around that could make a montauge of the amoung of time even one of your favs has said it, and Hasan has, say it with me, changed and tries not to be a fucking asshole, something you orbitor fucks could never understand.And the most insane of it all is the worse thing you could list of things Hasan REALLY did and has shown zero remorse for, beside the cracker thing, they cheered gleefully because they liked his more dirtbag shit. Hasan having the most unhinged reaction to being asked to not do a fundraiser with Hogwarts Legacy for the trans community, I've never seen them gargle balls harder. WHY?? Cause they wanted to bully Jessie Gender, a truly respectable person.

That was the only real thing. (a bit tongue in cheek I'm too high and this is much longer than I planned on he has done some other things. but they were mouth to sack there too)

"Oh but he was wrong about RUSSIA!!!!!" Do you fire the weather person for being wrong? Shut up.

So to all of them, either get a real job other than being the most annoying online cult or hurry up and drink the coolaid or whatever your own cults endgame is. I've blocked you and you're still leaking through. Idk. Idc. Just leave Hasan Piker Alone.

[enchantcdstories]

Shall we, Love?

Word count: 3535

Summary: Emotions run high when you and Marc are faced with the sudden disappearance of Steven.

Tags/content warning: Drinking (wine), Kinda set in an au ish post ep 6, Maybe Marc is ooc idk, Marc’s a bit of an asshole, angst, Steven comforting you, Fluff, happy ending, Dissociative Identity Disorder, reader is unaware of Jake just yet, my beta reader is incredible guys if she still had a tumblr I’d tag her

Disclaimer: If I at all come across as rude or disrespectful to people with DID, please let me know. My experience and research for DID is somewhat limited to youtube/knowledge from Moon Knight and ongoing internet research.

How long had you waited?

Glancing at your phone for what felt like the upteenth time, you let out a small sigh, drumming your fingers against the table.  You had witnessed exactly three couples sit down at the tables next to you, order their food, eat their food, and then leave. An hour or two? How many waiters had been by to ask if you were still waiting, only to be met with sad smiles from you with a a small ‘yes’. 

You had waited so long for this dinner. You loved Marc to death, more than anything- but a night out with Steven was always a special treat. You even went as far to plan the reservations at the best vegan restaurant in London. Everything was perfect: Your outfit, the table, the weather, everything. The only downside? Steven never showed. You glanced at your phone one more time, checking to see if Steven had bothered to text that he was late or something. This wasn’t like him, not often anyways. 

“Another glass, ma’am?” The waiter approaching your table made you jump. He held out the bottle of wine that matched the liquid you were slowly nursing in your cup. 

“Oh, sure. Why not?” You held your glass up, watching as the waiter filled the glass back up with a dark red liquid. You felt a bit light at the alcohol in your system, but nothing near inebriated. Nothing about this was right. Steven never just stood you up unless something was happening. Even Marc, whoyou texted multiple times to ask what was going on, hadn’t even bothered to message you back. 

Slowly, over the course of another half an hour, you drained your glass and eventually  stood up from the table. Paying the check (and on an empty stomach as well), you stormed over to the bus stop and back to your shared flat with Steven and Marc. You didn’t know if the gnawing feeling in your stomach was from the variety of emotions you were feeling – be it worry or anger – or if you were just hungry from the lack of dinner. 

⁂

Marc groaned as he sat up in bed, pushing the blankets off of himself as he adjusted his eyes to the flat around him. His head felt like it had taken a good couple of punches, aching and spinning as he woke up. To be fair, he thought, he kinda had. How many days ago was that though? His mind felt blank, quiet. Quiet. For the first time since the Field of Reeds. It was a feeling that sunk his heart into his stomach nearly instantly. It was wrong, it felt wrong. 

“Steven? You there?” Marc waited for Steven’s voice, cocky british accent and all, to pipe up again – but nothing happened. “Steven?” Marc glanced around, trying to keep a level head instead of exploding into a panic. Slowly, he got up, shifting his weight as he got out of bed. The strap on his ankle made him do a double take as he quickly undid it. Carefully, Marc walked around Steven’s flat, glancing around at the books and various knick knacks scattered about the place. 

“Steven, buddy, you in there?” Marc felt the panic start to set in, rubbing his face and looking around some more. He gave a nervous laugh, looking around as he walked through the flat. He leaned over to the fishtank and various reflective surfaces, trying to see if he could get a glimpse of Steven in his reflection. 

“Come on, Bud. You can have the body, whatever you want, just let me know you’re there.” He rubbed at his eyes again, as if it would refresh his brain and Steven would be waiting. Out of the corner of his eye, Marc caught a bright yellow note posted to the corner of the fish tank, words written in your neat and tidy scrawl: 

Steven- Mildreds Soho, 6 pm, Don’t be late! 

Marc groaned, reaching for the side table where his cellphone was plugged into the wall and charging. Several unread texts from you lit up his phone, and Marc could just guess that Steven’s phone, also charging next to his, had some as well. The time read nearly 8pm. 

“Shit.” 

⁂

Not only was your bus late, but it had started raining halfway through your walk home. You were worried and angry and now soaked to the bone, as well as hungry and cold. Marc and Steven better have been saving the world from something major for you to forgive something like this. Sliding the key into the lock, and doing your best to shake off the dripping water from your raincoat, you made your way into the flat, grateful that it was warm and you could finally at least change into dry clothes. 

The moment you turned your back from locking the door behind you, your eyes landed on the person standing in the room with you. From the way he held his body and the way his mannerisms were displayed, you could just tell it was Marc. Setting your bag and coat down, you crossed your arms, looking at him expectedly. 

“Okay, what gives?” You pause for a moment, second guessing yourself on if it actually was Marc. You softened your tone a bit, taking a breath and relaxing your arms. “I mean…I- Who’s fronting right now?” 

“It’s me.” Marc’s unmistakable voice flooded the flat and for just a moment, made your heart flutter. Various emotions flickered through your face. Relief, anger, sadness, love, then back to anger. Marc seemed to follow the emotions you went through, before a look of relief fell over his face. “Look, I know this looks not…great, I just woke up and I’m not really sure what’s going on and-” You crossed your arms a bit, a bit exasperated. Didn’t you leave a note? What was going on with them? 

“I had dinner plans. With Steven. About two hours ago. That’s what’s going on.” Marc stood there, looking back to the note and then to his cell phone. He opened his mouth to speak before you interrupted him again. Were you overreacting? Yes, probably, but damn it you were looking so forward to the dinner.  “Are you guys having some sort of fight over who gets the body or something?” Each day was a new learning experience with Marc and Steven. You sometimes didn’t fully understand it, didn’t always use the right terms or language around the topic, but you were learning. You were trying. 

“No, it’s not like that it’s just-” Marc tried to get a few words out, but you were on a tangent now. 

“I mean I would have just liked one night where I could have a lovely dinner with Steven but if that’s even going to be too complicated then I just-” 

“Steven’s gone.” Marcs words cut through the air like a sword swinging through skin. Sharp and sudden. They hung there, leaving you silent and struggling to understand. You opened and closed your mouth several times, gaping like a fish out of water. For a moment you didn’t know what to ask or what to say. Finally, your brain connected to your mouth and let you form a coherent thought. Marc had started to pace in the meanwhile, going from the fish tank and looking inside it to the pile of books on the other side of the room. 

“What do you mean he’s gone? How can he just be gone?”  You ask, your voice a bit quieter than before. Marc just shook his head, still pacing. Watching him go back and forth almost made your head dizzy; between the racing thoughts of Steven being gone somehow, and moving your head back and forth, you had to focus on the floor. 

“I don’t…know. Or Understand. Something happened and Steven fell off the boat protecting me and he somehow turned into a … a sand statue? But I got him back… at least I thought I did. Now he’s just gone. Not fronting, nothing. No reflections talking back at me, nothing.”  

You blinked, more confused than you were a minute ago. He had talked about the boat before, about the strange hospital limbo he was in, you knew about Khonshu and everything to do with the suit, but that had all been several days ago. 

“I don’t understand, that was a while ago. You’ve been out and about since then. You bought an extra fish for the tank, did grocery shopping and everything. Did you have a..dream or something that would make him go into hiding?” You tried to approach the subject carefully, but this was getting to be a bit much, even for you. Was there a third alter walking around for him that you weren’t aware of? Marc just shook his head in response.

“I remember fighting Harrow, and then I was suddenly back in the hospital. Then I just woke up and-” He shrugged. “Gone.” 

Every emotion of being mad was gone. Suddenly, you could forgive Steven missing the dinner; Suddenly, you felt your worse fear becoming true and the worry overcoming you. You felt your body go slightly numb, like you couldn’t feel your finger tips and toes anymore. Your head swam, cast suddenly under a thick fog. You leaned up against the nearest bookshelf; Suddenly, even looking at the books reminded you of Steven. Everything in this place screamed Steven. Not ever seeing his face again sent a unnerving chill through your body. Did you love him a whole lot more than you thought? 

“We had a dinner planned.” You managed to get out, talking to no one. Marc suddenly stopped pacing, turning to look at you and take a few steps forward. His eyes looked confused, as if his own head was turning. You had to imagine he was just as upset as you were. 

“I’m still here, aren’t I? We can still go out we just…we just need to figure out what’s going on.” He rubbed at his face again, messing up his curls so his hair was more slicked back. You nod, rubbing your own face. You didn’t want to just accept that one of the men you loved could possibly be gone that quickly. Surely, there had to be an explanation. 

“I know I’m just… You know what I mean.” Marc looked at you, a look you hadn’t really seen from him before. It made you wanna shrink away from him and hide. 

“No? I don’t. Is Steven suddenly more important?” His voice was sharp and defensive at the same time. He had a bit more of a temper than Steven, sure, you were used to that- but it had been a hot minute since you had been witness to it. It made you flinch. You turned your back to him, face red and hot from both the change in temperature and the burning of tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. 

“Marc that isn’t…that isn’t fair. Don’t say things like that.” You paused to collect your thoughts and breath, which seemed to come out shakier by the second. “I just saw him the other day, I swear. We made the dinner plans and then-” 

“Say it.” 

You looked confused, turning to face him- though you averted your eyes from staring at him directly. He was just stressed, you told yourself. Both him and you were freaking out at the loss of the british man. 

“Say what?” 

“Say that you don’t care about me and Steven matters more.” Marc said. His own voice sounded sad, like he didn’t want to know the answer.  You shook your head, sucking in a stutter-y breath.

“Stop it, Marc. Stop it.” You bit out, frantically trying to keep control of your emotions and repress the tears that wanted to flow. Why was he being like this? “This isn’t fair. You know I-” 

“Do you just…like him better or something? Are you going to leave now that he’s gone?” Marc himself sounded like he was crying now, though you tried to wrap your head around why. If this was stress making him act out, you didn’t understand it. Marc continued, his voice soft and cracking. “Do you just not love me anymore?” 

You shook your head, a move you realized may have been taken wrong. Tears started rolling down your cheeks as you furrowed your eyebrows. You gathered up enough bravery to stare at Marc, a look of anger in your eyes bleeding in between the tears. You hated fighting with him, but he was being beyond ridiculous. 

“Stop it. You aren’t being fair right now. This isn’t fair on me…or yourself.” You wiped at a few more tears, turning your back again and lifting your jacket off the coat rack, shaking it out vigorously to get the excess raindrops off. As if that was going to hide you crying and distract you enough to stop. Marc had gone silent, though your brain was racing a million miles a minute. If he needed a minute, then fine, you were grateful for it. 

“Oi, mate, you’re scaring her, quit it.” Steven’s accent was unmistakable. It was a relief, like the sun peeking through stormclouds and clearing away any rain. You hadn’t seen Marc and Steven switch that quickly before. You certainly hadn’t expected Steven anytime soon, especially not after Marc claimed he was gone. You felt silly for getting upset now. Silly and a bit confused. Slowly, you turned, coat placed back on the coat rack and your face still splotchy with tears. Steven was glancing around, staring into the various reflective surfaces, a look of confusion spread across his face. 

“Steven?” Upon hearing his name, Steven looked right up at you, his eyes wide and curious before flattening to a look of worry. “Marc said you were gone.” You wiped at your face again, trying to hide the tear stains and snot. 

“Yeah, well l’m not. Dunno what he’s blabbering about.” He shrugged, scratching the top of his head. He took a step forward, the look of worry now etched onto his face, the wrinkles near his eyes crinkling. “Are you alright, love? I’m right here,” He patted his arms and torso, as if to reassure both your and himself that he was corporeal. “See? Two arms..two legs, a body. All fine.” 

Giving a small smile, you wiped your hand on your pants from the tears, choking out a half sob, half laugh as you strode across the small space and crashed yourself into Steven’s arms. A small part of you felt sour internally, because it was also Marc’s body- Marc’s body who also made you cry and tried to get you to admit you didn’t love him. Steven let out a grunt as you crashed into him, your head tucking neatly into the crook of his neck and his into yours. 

“Sorry I missed our dinner, I can make it up, ya?” Steven asked, a bit squished from the grip you had on his torso. You merely nodded, trying to find the strength to form words from the back of your throat. 

“You can’t scare me like that again. I thought I- I thought I lost you. And Marc- “ 

“Was being a right twat. Think he was just scared,  ‘is what he was.” His hands were soothingly rubbing your back, holding you close. You sniffed. 

“He’s got a lousy way of showing it, then. I do love him. I do. I married him, but I just-” You paused, inhaling the scent of Marc and Steven’s cologne and sighed. “I love you too.” You admitted, softly. Steven made a shushing noise, still gripping you. 

“Hey, shhh, it’s alright, ya? Everything’s just all…bonkers lately. But I’m here now.” His voice was soothing, his embrace warm. You pulled back from him for just a moment, resting your chin on his chest to look up at him. Steven awkwardly looked down, almost crossing his eyes to get a better look at your face. 

“Do you remember anything? Marc said something about a boat and a …sand statue and-” Steven hugged you tighter, pushing your head lightly back into his chest. 

“Best not to think about that right now…Don’t wanna think about it much myself.” 

You pulled back again, untangling yourself from Steven’s grip and standing back so you could face him properly. You prayed your face wasn’t splotchy anymore, though you sniffed once. You were past crying now, you told yourself. Now you would heal things. 

“Can I…can I talk to Marc for a second?” You asked, your voice soft and almost unsure. What if Marc didn’t want to talk to you? Steven nodded, adjusting his shirt and shaking his arms out- almost as if he was preparing himself for the switch. 

“ ‘Course love, long as Marc behaves himself, yeah?” He looked into the mirror on the post in his flat for emphasis, like he was scolding Marc. A small smile crept up onto your face as you took a step back. You hadn’t really witnessed a switch between Marc and Steven in person before. They could switch a lot faster now now that they could co-front. You reached a hand out for a moment, before tugging it back, wondering if you were too late to interrupt Steven for a moment – or if you should interrupt at all. 

“You’ll come back? After? We can get some food?” You asked, tentatively. Steven nodded, a warm smile on his face. He disassociated for a moment, staring just at the wall behind you for a second before you could see him jolt back into reality. It was that quick. 

You felt your eyes start to sting with the threat of tears once again upon seeing Marc, though you batted them away quickly before he could notice. You stood there, gripping your own sleeve with your hand, unsure of what to do. Marc took two steps towards you and much like Steven’s own grip, engulfed you in a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around you like he was shielding you from something. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

You both spoke at the same time, almost in sync with each other. A small giggle blurted out from your lips, though muffled by Marc’s chest. Despite the same body, being held by him felt different than being held by Steven. Steven was more soothing, Marc was more affirming. You felt Marc place a kiss on the top of your head, burying his face in your slightly damp hair. He breathed out a single amused breath. 

“I love you. I love you and I love Steven. Please don’t think I don’t love you. I couldn’t bear to lose you or him.” Your voice still sounded muffled, almost amusingly so. If you weren’t so comfortable in his embrace, then you would probably be squeaking out that you couldn’t breath. You didn’t mind, though. Marc placed another kiss on your head, this one held for just the tiniest bit longer. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I love you too. I was just a…what’d Steven call me?” 

“A twat.” 

Marc chuckled. “I was a twat. I take back what I said, it was… out of line. Out of character, I guess. It’s just all so..it’s gonna take some getting used to.” You pulled back from him, forcing his grip to loosen so you could look at the man you married, just the same as you did with Steven. 

“Like you and Steven fronting so rapidly now?” Another chuckle rumbled from Marc’s chest. 

“Yeah, like that.” Marc looked behind you for a moment, back at the little mirror that was tacked to the wall in the bathroom. You looked behind yourself, looking at Marc’s reflection in the mirror. All you saw was him, but Marc nodded, confirming something. He spun you around so you were facing him, earning a small laugh out of you, before he leaned down and peppered your face and lips with nearly a dozen kisses. Steven must have given him a nudge in the right direction. 

Your laughter filled the flat, and you gripped Marc’s arm as you squirmed away. He was grinning now too as he pulled you closer to him once again. He rested his forehead on yours as you both settled down, both at peace with your apologies and affirmations of love. You were a little dizzy. 

“Are you still up for some food? I don’t know if the restaurant will give us our reservation back but I’m sure we can find something?” Marc asked you, his hands rubbing up and down your arms. You nodded, suddenly aware of your growling stomach that had only had wine in it. 

“Can Steven come? I mean…well you know, can both of you come?” You put an emphasis on ‘both’, wanting nothing more than a dinner with both of your boys. A moment of silence before Marc’s face changed as a whole, Steven popping in suddenly. 

“Course I can, same body, innit?” He grinned goofily, his hands still resting where Marc had placed them. He moved so he was offering his singular arm out. “Shall we, love?”

[anti-dazai-blog]

I see you're interested in Dazai's treatment of Chuuya rn, but if you don't mind me ranting a bit about Akutagawa feel free to respond. First of all Akutagawa despite his edginess always felt like a really good character to me. During my first watch I didn't try to analyze the characters much, and the tone of the anime made me ignore a lot of the shit Dazai's done. But on my second watch (dw only watched it twice, second time in preparation for watching dead apple I'm not too obsessed haha) it started feeling wrong. I find Akutagawa relatable and he's an important character to me, and Dazai toying with him and his need for approval by giving the approval he wanted to Atsushi was almost uncomfortable to watch. If I had my own attempts to get approval from a person I admired shut down like this I'd crumble and die on the spot, not even being dramatic. The fact no one seems to talk about how he's essentially fueling Akutagawa's hate for Atsushi, which puts Atsushi in danger??? He doesn't care about Atsushi at all, regardless of what the fandom says (and shipping them gives me killing stalking vibes atp. The power imbalance is terrifying). I used to tolerate Dazai as a character but now he makes me angry. He's abusive as fuck both to Akutagawa and Atsushi, yet people mostly recognize his abuse towards Akutagawa.

Not to mention Akutagawa already somewhat freed himself from Dazai's influence (since he left port mafia). In a way he was probably healing just for Dazai to show up and flex that he got a new toy (person to abuse and feed his ego). When Akutagawa was forced to work with Atsushi (s2) and he didn't attempt to sacrifice everything to murder him... that was some serious character development. It showed him as a person healing from trauma and trying to become someone more than just Dazai's victim, forever manipulated to act in a way Dazai planned beforehand (somehow). And despite all this growth Dazai was still an asshole to him.

Oh and just a sidenote his constant half assed suicide attempts feel like a slap in the face to me, someone who attempted more than once. His bandages all over the body feel disrespectful as well. I'm certain there's no way he has so many injuries that need to be bandaged over at the same time. Hell, most wounds would require him to take the bandage off eventually for better healing. The fact he doesn't do it to me implies he doesn't have any injuries under the bandages at all.

I think I wouldn't hate Dazai this much if he wasn't so beloved in the fandom. I don't mind toxic/abusive characters, a well writen one is a delight to include in fanfics and whatnot. But the way his actions are excused and he's seen as sweet and caring (sadly stumbled upon dazai bf imagines) is infuriating.

Hope my rant is not too chaotic. I just saw some more bad headcanons in the tag and had to talk abt it. lol anyway sorry. Have a good day/night ♡

Anon, when I got your asks I saw it was really long, so I pulled out a few index cards to take notes on it. And now that I have, and my thoughts are decently organized, I’ll answer.

First off— feel free to send asks about any character at any time!! My current interest in Chuuya is only because the upcoming chapters are his first manga appearance, and I haven’t written about him in this series yet. Because of the fandom’s love for him (or rather, in this context it would be their love for soukoku [the ship]), I wanted to put a disclaimer about my personal stance and belief in Chuuya’s lack of guilt in any Dazai-related situation. 

Moving on to your ask-

You make a lot of really good points here. I’ll write my response in bullet point format, divided by the paragraphs of your ask.

Paragraph 1’s points-

yeah, the tone of the anime really pushes the viewer’s mind away from just how horrific Dazai’s actions are. It’s like those old sitcoms with laugh tracks— when people on YouTube finally get around to editing the laugh track out, it turns out that every joke is bad at best, and blatantly racist at worst. Except with bsd, instead of there being a bunch of bad jokes, it’s just a fun little two hour compilation of abuse, that’s supposed to be funny because the silly bandage man is doing it. I guess the bsd equivalent of editing out the laugh track would be replacing Dazai with someone who isn’t conventionally attractive.

I agree completely— nearly everything Dazai does is uncomfortable to watch. Not because it’s awful, but because it’s played off as a joke. Awful things happen in media (and in real life) all the time, but what turns it from awful to horrifying is when the witnesses of it (in this case, the audience) laughs along with the abuser instead of sympathizing with the victim. 

And to add on to what you’re saying— Dazai always sees people’s wants and needs, deepest desires, hopes, regrets, insecurities etc… and uses that knowledge to toy with people. It’s his favorite passtime. He doesn’t have a hobby. This is the one and only thing he does in his free time. 

Anon, I’m actively writing my analysis of Chapter 9 (which is 100% Akutagawa-centric, because he’s the only one to interact with Dazai in that chapter). And you just covered half the points I’m gonna make. He really is just fueling Akutagawa’s hatred of Atsushi in that scene, and the first thing Akutagawa does after leaving the dungeon is stab Atsushi straight through the chest. And remember, he’s supposed to be capturing the weretiger ALIVE. But Dazai had to intentionally make Akutagawa’s grievances with Atsushi a personal matter, rather than a professional one like it was prior to now.

Also, I’m very very proud of you for outright calling Dazai abusive, because you’re right and you should say it, and I don’t say it often enough. 

And yes, Dazai has absolutely no regard for Atsushi (or anyone else’s) safety. I think he would try to avoid allowing agency members to get killed, but other than that he really doesn’t care what happens to them.

Now onto paragraph 2 of your (very long but very great) ask-

I’ve always been curious about what Akutagawa was like in the time between Dazai leaving the mafia and Dazai resurfacing. I do have a slight headcanon that he healed a lot in that time, and made a lot of personal progress that was all undone when Dazai showed up again. Tbh I’d like to read a Light Novel on this topic— I’d love for Asagiri to show us how Akutagawa’s life looked a month before Dazai reappeared. 

As you point out, it’s definitely progress on Akutagawa’s part when he didn’t instinctively attack Atsushi in s2. But nonetheless, this is also a part of Dazai’s plan. If he attacks Atsushi, it’s a part of Dazai’s “set up a rivalry” plan. If he doesn’t, it’s a part of Dazai’s “and then the rivals work together” plan. Either way, no matter what he does, Dazai will go to sleep that night patting himself on the back for accomplishing exactly what he hoped to accomplish. Either way, it’s a lose-lose for Akutagawa, because no matter what he does he’ll be playing into Dazai’s hand. Unless, of course, he ditches Atsushi entirely. 

Paragraph 3-

YES YES I’M SO GLAD SOMEONE SAID IT!! I love you anon. Listen. Ok. Listen- I personally have never had to deal with depression and/or thoughts of suicide, so I felt like commenting on this topic would be inappropriate/ out of line for me. But I’ve had many friends who have tried to commit suicide. One of my close friends was in the hospital for almost a year from an attempt. And watching bsd make a joke of it felt.. wrong. But then I look around the fandom and see so many people using Dazai as a coping mechanism of sorts— I get it, he’s a character who many people find easy to like, and it can be nearly comforting in a way, for some people, to screenshot images of Dazai being Dazai and adding a caption of “he’s just like me fr!!” I know well that for people who are actually struggling with suicidal thoughts, it’s easier to find a character you relate to and work out stuff through that character than to have to self-analyze and self-reflect on uncomfortable topics. And I’d much rather have my friends tell my how much they’re “just like Dazai fr!!” than to have to hear all about how badly they wanna jump onto the tracks every time we’re waiting for a train. AND YET. As much as I understand the value of Dazai to many people. It’s not worth it. What’s the point of temporary comfort in a fictional character that’ll only perpetuate your thoughts and echo them back to you. If you wanna die, it’s not going to help that your favorite character does too. Maybe you’ll laugh about it before your death. Maybe your last words will be “he’s just like me fr!!”. And then what. Did it help you? Did it really help you to have someone fictional you relate to? No, it didn’t. Suicide’s not a joke. Silly bandage man should take off his silly bandages and stop making suicide a character gimmick.

Final point- fandoms are always ready to forgive their poor little meow meows. And Dazai is a lot of people’s poor little meow meow. So yeah, no matter what he does it’ll be forgiven. 

And that’s that! Excellent ask, anon!! It’s very well-phrased. I like it. 

[give-grian-rights]

Sorry to bother but what did samgladiator do? I see your posts tagged "samgladiator apologist dni" and im a bit confused, sorry ! ^^;;

I think Samgladiator is a disgusting manipulative human being, with no regard for others, his own fans, or the people around him.

I have a few posts with my own personal interactions with him, and receipts of him just being a general insensitive asshole who thinks if you’re upset because you watched RAPE take place in a minecraft roleplay, with no trigger warnings or disclaimers, that you should just be on YouTube kids, because it’s a joke and just Minecraft.

That’s the reason i actually just have “Samgladiator DNI” in my bio.. LMAO... i love having my childhood hero have a fucking hissy fit because, surprise surprise, the children you traumatized grew up and realized “wait seeing this FUCKED ME UP??”

here’s the main thread of receipts!

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

[frogsandcookies]

My Thoughts on Lego DC Batman Family Matters

-Disclaimer: I watched this on clips on YouTube so if things are out of order, oh well- 

___

-“Damian? Are you done with your math homework???” Bruce is actually acting like a normal dad

-DAMIAN’S SMILING AND ACTING LIKE A NORMAL KID (or as normal as you can be after everything he’s been through) BASICALLY HE’S HAPPY :D

-Oh my god he used the classic phrase of “When am I ever going to use ___ in the real world” I love it

-We get wholesome interactions between Bruce and Damian

-I half expected Damian to call Tim something along the lines of “Asshole” or “Bitch” 

-I just want to comment on how short Damian is 

-“ImPoSsIbLe”

-“In fact, I wanted to ask you to change my name to Dangerlad”

-Damian is acting like Dick from the Lego Batman movie (and it’s amazing)

-“Cross contamination is nothing to laugh about” As a person with celiac disease, I completely agree

-Ace’s chew toy is Superman

-“Next subject” Ah, back to avoidance

-Barbara just ignoring Dick and going straight to talking to Bruce XD

-The reason for this XD

-Catherine is awesome

-And at this point I realized why Damian sounds so familiar: He’s voiced by the same person who voices Robin on TTG

-Robin sneaking out to go meet them lol

-Barbara and Dick’s interactions XD

-“Oooh burn”

-Jason’s villain-ensue clapping

-I just noticed Dick’s hair. …I don’t know what to say

-I feel like if this wasn’t a PG movie, Jason would have said “Not shit, sherlock” when he’s talking to Damian

-ThE tRuSt FuNds (aka Dick worry about the trust funds) 

-Killer croc looks like the hulk with scales

-The way Catherine just beats Killer Croc’s sexist butt is amazing ; we Stan

-Jason’s kinda acting like a bitch ngl

-Dick and Damian interactions! :D

-Dick’s telling an old man story (ie. “Back in my day…)

-Damian just falls off a train XD

-“Something fishy’s going on for sure” A fish with TNT proceeds to be thrown at the two

-The Riddler’s voice is snakey

-Dick: *fails at telling a joke* | Damian: *disappointed sigh*

-The penguins have no eyes???? What the???

-THE TEN YEAR OLD IS DRIVING A CAR *proceeds to crash into a train*

-Jason proceeds to crawl out of the shadows in a totally not creepy way

-*sees graphling hook* Mabel Pines?

-Jason sounds a bit like Bill Cipher (voice-wise)

-“Not bad old man” -Jason to Dick

-Is that Haly’s circus???

-Gotham citizens are so neutralized to seeing the villains and bats running around that instead of running away, they just take photos lmao

-We Stan protective Dick 

-Don’t fuck with Alfred

-The license plate reads “yeahboi1”

-Billy Batson :D he sounds vaguely like Steven from SU *looks it up* HE’S VOICED BY THE SAME PERSON

-The mirroring of the movie fighting

-*Ominous bat shadow* *pan to see Bruce holding out his cape*

-“Or should I say…Jason Todd” *shocked Pikachu face reaction from everyone else* 

-How does Jason not have hat hair

-“I thought you were dead!” “You said I was dead?!”

-Obligatory Talia mention

-But they met at a train station?

-IT WAS HALY’S

-I love that Jason and Bruce met because Jason stole the wheels of the bat mobile 

-“You stole the wheels of the bat mobile? Oh dude that is so cool!” “Yeah, he was not happy” Damian and Jason friendly interaction :D

-I love the shared exasperation at Bruce

-Dramatic “he’s betrayed us. Again” from Damian who didn’t even know of Jason’s existence until several hours ago

-Two Faces’s suit is nasty looking

-“Fortune favors the bold” -Pliny the Elder right before the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and now Two Face (the only reason I know the former is because of puppet history)

-The How To videos will one day take over the world

-“Truth, justice, and the destruction of Batman”

-“He’s a narcissistic jerk who has no regard for his family’s legacy or his own responsibility to Gotham” Not wrong kinda

-Damian and Barbara team up!

-Damian and Barbara falling out of the sky

-Damian being productive while the three adults fight 

-Dick: *weird rocket noises* | Barbara: “My insensitive boyfriend, everyone”

-“Listen to my gruff voice and be intimidated” 

-Two Face just eating Bruce out of the building

-Jason kinda reminds me from Michael from BMC b/c of the scene where he says “This is just like my favorite video game” as he shoots cyborg things

-Jason celebrating beating his video game and being happy and not angsty for once :D

-“…chum” “I looked up chum by the way. It means fish cut up into shark bait.” XD

-EXPLOSION

-I like the parachutes

-Meetings are boring to be fair though

-Jason’s internal voice: “ya’ done fucked up Batman”

-Ace literally says “Bark”

End thoughts: So Damian’s obviously not in character too much but I like seeing him as a genuinely happy child so I don’t really care. It was also fun seeing Jason happy and the squabble between Dick and Barbara was amusing since it seems kinda accurate. I don’t know much about Catherine but she’s awesome in this movie (though she and Barbara look almost identical). Overall it was pretty good and an enjoyable experience :D Though I wish Tim, Steph, Cass, and Duke were in it. I can only imagine the heightened chaos 

[thatpinkbetch]

Bkdk Fic Rec

I’ve been inspired to write a fic rec! This one goes out to you @lonely-rabbit

At like, the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I stayed up until 4am every night reading fics, and because I’m such a loser, I made a word doc to keep track of all of them so I wouldn’t forget them.... I tried organizing it by length but it got messy cause I’m ridiculous and cluttered, so sorry! (I’ll save my own for the end alskdjflsdkfj gotta self promote you know). This is going to get...really long, so I’ll put it under a read more! Also, just a heads up, these are all on ao3, in case that’s important to anyone!

Disclaimer: Any fics with mature or explicit content I will add a bolded warning for, even if it’s only a little bit. Normally most fics will be tagged as such, but some fics that are rated as teen I’ve found to be more suggestive than some of those rated as mature, so I will try to point it out where it feels necessary, for anyone who wishes to avoid it.

Fics under 1k:

Illuminate by TheQueen (269 words)

Summary: Bakugou watches the first firework launch and fights to keep his face neutral

Very short, plot is about a case of amnesia, also very cute and well written for that length! Not angsty at all imo

sweaty hands holding secrets - shounentwink (563 words)

Summary: Someone said Midoriya holds secrets in his hair.

It’s not true: He holds it tightly in his hands. Bakugou’s seen it.

I really like this writer! You’ll see quite a bit of them in this post alkdsjfalskdjf

Fics 1k - 10k:

Many sunflowers later - Jeka (2395 words)

Summary: Scholar Midoriya Izuku comes back to the person he left behind after his journey through the kingdom, the mighty dragon clan leader Bakugou Katsuki.

Day 1 of Twin Stars Week 2020: Fantasy AU.

First of all, fantasy au!!! Second of all, jeka!!! (I need to read more of your stuff!!) Anyways, so cute, such lovely, pretty writing, wonderful story telling, and they’re so in love TT_TT

Boom Badoom Boom - warschach (3429 words)

Summary: Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.

“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”

“Yea.”

“For a kiss?”

This one’s a little silly but I love it still. It’s got a “kids in the 80′s over summer vacation” vibe, I think. I love warschach! I should read more of their writing... They have SUCH good bakudeku content! *It’s rated teen but there’s some suggestive content, just a heads up!

Hopeless Ramen-tic - lalazee (7155 words)

Summary:  Midoriya is a cute guy who works at a ramen stall and Bakugou is thirsty as hell, but has to hide it by being an asshat. Another love story.

Ah, so good TT_TT so much sass, such good plot development and story telling for a simple concept *It’s rated as teen but again, it can be suggestive at times!

I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind - yabakuboi (3508 words)

Suammry: For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.

Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.

So soft, so sweet, so good if you just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and drink hot cocoa and feel warm and cozy and a little in love

The Secret Deku Box - yabakuboi (2241 words)

Summary: “Y’know, Bakugou never, ever talks about girls,” Kaminari says, his voice thoughtful.

“And I wonder why that is.” Ashido rolls her eyes.

“I’m just curious!” Kaminari whines. Kirishima drags the box out, unlabeled and unassuming, the lid not even fully clasped over the edges. “The guy has to— Whoa, what’s that?”

Kirishima realizes a little belatedly that this is a serious breach of privacy, and Bakugou will actually murder all of them. “Nothing!” he cries, attempting to shove it back under the bed, but Ashido snatches it away.

“Please be his porn stash!” Kaminari whispers as she whips the lid off.

Cute, funny, in canon, in character, and a must read I would say! 

daisy bunches and heather branches - halcyonwhispers (5862 words)

Summary:  izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

Not another flower/tattoo shop au.... aldskjflaskdjfd Okay but punk!Bakugou is ALWAYS a smart move imo

the best part of me (is the worst I can give) - halcyonwhispers (5668)

Summary: Whole sentences usually make up people’s Words, but Katsuki got stuck with a name instead.

Izuku’s name.

I am such a sucker for soulmate aus when it comes to these boys TT_TT *There is some mature content, just a heads up!

Hard to Say - halcyonwhispers (8390 words)

Summary: Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.

Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.

Or,

two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.

I am ALSO a sucker for fantasy/mythical creatures au and I LOVED this one - Bakugou absolutely unable to handle how cute Midoriya is? Perfection - but it’s unfinished, and I don’t think it ever will be continued, unfortunately TT_TT

lots to unpack (throw away the whole suitcase) - shounentwink (4315 words)

Summary: “How’d you know?” Midoriya asks.

There’s a hunch to his shoulders that wasn’t there three hours ago. Freckled shoulders are kissed sunburnt and red: he looks like someone ran him over and left him like roadkill in the sunlight. Bakugou’s working with insurance today, but he could see the sparks of green lightning even from his elevated position in their shared agency. Midoriya’s holding his thumb, cracking it over and over — it looks like he’s rubbed it raw.

“Dunno,” Bakugou says. “Maybe you’re just easy to read, nerd.”

I love this one so much, it was one of the first ones I read, it’s so good, and it’s another that really affected how I view their relationship! Idk this one just hit for me

hang the moon from us (it’s a no from me) - shounentwink (1200 words)

Summary: Midoriya’s gonna get sick of Bakugou one of these days, and then the whole ruse will be over, and the balance of power will tilt beyond salvation, but that day isn’t today and it looks like Bakugou knows it.

What an asshole.

Once again, I’m a sucker for the fantasy au... But even more, the diction, the details, the imagery...it’s absolutely all stunning here. I wish I could write this pretty

In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv - Erina (5862 words) This is the first one of a series called The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency!

Summary:  Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!

I’ll admit I’ve only read the first three but by god they are the funniest fics I’ve ever read in my life. I see that Erina has added more since the last time I checked it out! Tbh I was only interested in reading the purely bakudeku ones... (My favorite was the second one!! SO funny and cute!)

i still do - raeryn (9646 words)

Summary:  He’s losing him to pieces, but Izuku still tries to make them count. In which a battle leaves Bakugou Katsuki with amnesia, and Izuku finds himself picking up the pieces.

So, this one makes me cry. TT_TT

One Thing Straight - winningshot (9899 words)

Summary: They totally aren't.

Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.

It was amusing up until it became sad.

Lmao it’s a little salty but I guess I can be too. This is a social media fic! There’s multiple ships in this one, too

A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8472 words)

Summary: Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

Okay kewltie is SO GOOD and very creative! The formatting is phenomenal, it’s like you’re actually experiencing a social media melt down in real time lol

be my good luck charm - writedeku (6785 words)

Summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.

(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest travelling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)

Oh I adore this one! It’s so cute and such a good narrative! Nice and warm, and Bakugou trying his damnedest to be suave, and it somehow working because Midoriya is just as flustered. *Another one rated as teen but some suggestive content.

Smells Like Victory - majjale (2377 words)

Summary: Bakugou takes two steps into the room and stops, clapping a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what stinks like Deku in here?”

"Good afternoon, Bakugou. That would be the amortentia."

I must admit, not a fan of HP, but majjale...TT_TT majjale writes these two boys so well. This one is really, really good!

Cherish Me - Justaperson1718 (2376 words)

Summary: “What?”

Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”

“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”

This is a sequel to a fic that’ll be in the next section, because it’s longer, called Manage Me. Please read that one first before this one! (Not part of a series, but they’re the same story line)

Fascinating - Justaperson1718 (1556 words)

Summary: “I’m not staring at you,” Izuku replied, his eyes focused intently on Katsuki. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sitting on his knees in their shared bed. He was awake moments before Katsuki, and waited eagerly for the other to awake.

Katsuki glanced over his shoulder after his shirt was on and glared. “You’re fucking staring at me right now.”

Izuku shook his head, humming his disapproval quietly. “I’m watching you.”

“That’s the same damn thing,” Katsuki said while searching for a pair of pants in the dresser. “Your eyes are fixated on me like I’m your life’s fucking goal or some shit.”

“I just like watching you get dressed.” Izuku tilted his head to the side and smiled softly at Katsuki’s confused stare. “I know, it’s weird. But I like it.”

*There is a little bit of implied mature content, but overall, it’s just so sweet and intimate, and I just simply adore this one.

in a place once filled with gold - dorenamryn (9226 words)

Summary: It felt strange to remember such details, for they were things a friend should know, and as far as Katsuki was concerned, he and Deku hadn’t been friends in a very, very long time. He could admit, with reluctance, that they were on the path there, now, even though they would never make it. Katsuki would die before they could get the chance.

or: There is a garden growing in Katsuki’s lungs, and he is helpless to stop it.

“Hanahaki disease” okay, I can explain myself. Okay, I can’t. In any case, you got angst with a happy ending if that’s what you’re into!

Kaleidoscope - DPRenFTW (5141 words)

Summary: Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.

And Izuku thinks:

"Oh, it's him."

Just as beautiful and fascinating as the name implies! I seriously recommend for the beautiful writing, the gorgeous world, the mythical creatures au, and the lovely bakudeku romance!

Learning Curve - sensiblysilly (4222 words)

Summary: Deku and Katsuki’s first kiss goes rather differently than planned.

And Katsuki’s quickly learning that relationships can be unpredictable - especially when taking into account the variable that is Midoriya Izuku.

This really is just a careful handling of a teenage romance where perhaps one of them may have shit they’re still working through. It’s really sweet, and a careful study at boundaries and the building of a relationship. I actually stumbled across this while looking for another with the same name and ended up pleasantly surprised. Kacchan can has a little validation, as a treat.

4/20 is a national holiday - Ereri_Garbage (

Summary: Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.

Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.

Uummmm lmao yes I have a sense of humor. ;ALDSKJFLSKDJF Okay, I say that, but this is not a crack fic, it’s a good story that I enjoy with good writing, and *it has mature, content, obviously for multiple reasons here. It’s rated as mature but there are borderline explicit moments imo. It’s a fun fic and funny, too! And, ngl, it really does remind me of college... But forget about me, the bakudeku is wonderful too of course :)

Drinking Watermelon - warschach (8906 words)

Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Love it when people have Bakugou as absolutely enamored with Midoriya; it’s so good and true. Anyways this one makes me like summer camp story lines. It’s funny and also cute and great writing! *It’s got explicit content, just a heads up. Warschach stories just have this youthful 80′s vibe, I don’t know how else to explain it.

there are listed buildings - semiautomatichearts (3309)

Summary: Katsuki first sees colors bloom when he is only three years old. It is timid Izuku, hiding behind the cover of his mother's leg who looks upon him with wide eyes, and Katsuki's world explodes in shades of greens and pinks and blues, and he is so startled, he begins to cry.

His life is then on defined in color, in shades his peers can't see, by the forlorn, timid stare in Izuku's eyes that always lets off more than he is willing to tell. There is a schism driven between himself and his fated other, and Katsuki strives to be better than fate, better than what is defined for him. He is more than the written pages of a book, to be cracked open and read by the gods.

He wonders if it is possible for colors to bloom for someone who will never love you back.

Ah...soulmates :) So interesting how bakudeku fits into soulmate aus like this one when they’ve known each other as kids! And when they’ve had this complex push and pull thing going on all their lives! The writing is beautiful, and so is the story!

Promise Ring - bkdkwritingsdump (3579)

Summary:  The midwest in the 1950′s is no place for boys who like kissing boys: something Izuku and Katsuki know all too well growing up there. However, the undeniable bond between the nervous science geek and the aloof delinquent will still find a way to blossom in such a desert.

Cute, sweet, makes my gay heart ache. Longing not just for the one you love, but just to feel right loving them. Very pretty story line, lovely story telling!

Fics 10k - 30k:

Fishy - warschach (19417 words)

Summary: Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

Another warschach! I love this one, I love how they write bakudeku, particularly as college students, their stories (at least, the ones that I’ve read) always feel so warm, like a summer’s day, but not a lazy one, one that’s playful? If that makes sense? *This one is explicit, another heads up!

Manage Me - Justaperson1718 (10756 words)

Summary: Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.

“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”

The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.

“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”

Love the story, love the bakudeku! Very, very good bakudeku TT_TT very sweet *There is some mature content in here as well

point to a map (we’ve been there) - cosmicfuss (10589 words)

Summary: Serendipity / sĕr″ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē Serendipity is the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery. Two men find themselves on a subway, hot coffee on one while the other is in the middle of a screaming match. After that they can't seem to stop finding each other, no matter how far they go.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this fic owns my entire soul. I love the story, the ease of their relationship, just how lovely they are together. It’s another kind of nice, fluffy fic you’d read on a bad day where you come home and curl up in a blanket and listen to a ten hour video of thunderstorm white noise. *Again, some more mature content in here

Partners - tsukithewolf (13619 words) Another series! Two parts to this one this time

Summary: It is said that in Musutafu there is a charm that one can buy at a temple that will lead you to your destined partner. They say that if the charm works, you would be able to follow the red string of fate to the person you were meant to be with. And if the person returns your feelings, they would be able to see the string as well, proving that both were meant to be.

Three-year-old Katsuki and Izuku misunderstand what the word "partner" means and discover the charm and the rumor behind it is not only true, but more than expected.

Gets a little heavy, depression, bullying, suicidal thoughts, etc. But it must get worse before it gets better, that kind of thing. I also just adore the second part (called Bond) - maybe because it’s much fluffier, what about it?

Learning Curve - iknewaman (10304 words)

Summary: “Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”

Wait. Sign language?

The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.‘

Really?’

*

Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.

Ah, I really want to explain this one a little bit? I’d never been into fanfiction ever, only really getting into it with these boys. This was the second one I read, I remember, and it caught me off guard, and it intrigued me. It really surprised me as to what fanfiction could be. Ngl I had biased perceptions of fanfics - I used to be one of those people who thought fanfiction could never be good writing - and this one slapped me in the face with it’s subtle beauty and creative story and heart melting capabilities, and very, very real relationship and growth. Anyways it’s so cute how happy Deku is to teach Kacchan sign language TT_TT Make sure to read the tags!

The Keeper and the Sun God’s Heir - SurelyHeavenWaits (12746 words)

Summary:  The Titans' have stolen something important from Izuku, heir of the Sun God, and he wants it back.

This one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one this one- Oh my god this one. Okay so what, I was a Percy Jackson kid, what about it? I love the mythical aus, particularly the god ones. But beyond that, the writing is so beautiful, just like the world, and the imagery. The bakudeku...absolutely stunning. The story itself? Incredible. Cannot recommend more. *There is explicit content in this, though I will say, it’s all in the last chapter, and all of the story is in the first two chapters. There’s also a second part as it’s a series and it’s short but it’s cute and sweet TT_TT

seven days - aaAAAaaahhhhHHHHH (10094 words)

Summary: There’s something about the green haired boy, an aura that just drew Katsuki in before he even knew his name.

[Sometimes your mind forgets, but your heart remembers]

Heed my warning: DON’T read this in front of other people. I bawl every time I read this one TT_TT I know I said I don’t like angst but AJLSKDFJALSKDFJ it has a hopeful ending! I mean yeah you’re gonna cry but...hope? :’) (that username really says it all tbh)

Fics 30k+

Notice me, nerd - useless_donut (40000 words)

Summary: Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out.

Will the class of 3-A survive the sexual tension? Who will snap first? Someone put Bakugou out of his misery, please, before everyone else dies of second-hand embarrassment.

(a love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A)

Love the idea of Bakugou being brazen and brash, cause yeah, he is. So fucking funny though how that translates to him flirting. Gotta say, thought I was gonna cringe, but his “I’m gay af” outfit really ended up being A Look. Love the mutual pining, it really is strong in this one. *Okay, mature content in this one lads.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71197 words)

Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

Update: Epilogue added

*This one has mature content. If you can, please, for the love of god, read this fic. It’s like, tied with my favorite bkdk fic perhaps ever. It’s based on the movie of the same title, a nineties romcom with Sandra Bullock, but Belkacaramelka has so effortlessly made it into it’s own story, fit it so perfectly inside of the bnha world. I definitely stayed up until 6:30am reading this one. It’s got such good badass Midoriya, who is also sweet, and really really good reconciliation between bakudeku.

All Gifted - fitzefitcher (39129 words)

Summary: The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.

Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.

This one is unfinished...and I highly doubt it will ever be. But what has been written is incredible. Once again, I’m a sucker for the magic/mythical creatures aus. But the relationship is great! The characterization is great! The found family trope that was building up is great!

under a hollow sun - umbrage (40572 words)

Summary: Midoriya is cursed with emptiness.

Misfortune leads him to a man of ancient magic and endless rage.

To stop an unfathomable evil, their mismatched halves must become whole.

Uuuggghhhh this was so good! I don’t think it’s going to be finished either :( Once again, fantasy au, more amazing writing, on point characterization, incredible pacing, makes you hungry for more story.

all the savage soul requires - majjale (58032 words)

Summary: Bakugou seems to have exhausted his patience for words and no longer acknowledges that Midoriya exists, so Midoriya crosses his legs, stares down at his hands limned in firelight, and makes a list of things he knows.

One. His name is Midoriya Izuku.

Two. He is a Godmarked, future god of life, heir to the divine throne.

Three. The gods have been fighting Death for eons, and now he's coming for recompense with everything he’s got.

This is majjale, so of course, the writing is more than beautiful; it’s absolutely breathtaking. This may be my favorite fic ever - unfortunately I don’t think it will ever be finished either TT_TT There’s the gods/fantasy au, which you know by now I love. But the characterization of our two boys is absolutely perfect, and I mean that as literally as possible. And the story being crafted between the two, the memory loss, the obvious history muddled by it all, it was so dense, and the PINING, so incredibly written, flowing so naturally. It wasn’t even close to being done, but it was wonderful, still is wonderful. 

My Writing: (You can skip this if you hate shameless self promotion)

You’re too damn flicking cute (1815 words)

Summary:  Bakugou is certain his shitty boyfriend is instigating kisses. Maybe it doesn't help that he keeps giving them away like it's a damn going out of business sale, but the stupid nerd is too fucking cute. Either way, like everything else, this is a competition, and he's going to win it.

Please don’t read this unless you’re going to the dentist afterwards! I’ve been told it’s so sweet it’ll give you instant cavities >_>;;;;

Bakugou Katsuki, you smooth motherfucker (10118 words)

Summary: Everyone around him knows that Bakugou Katsuki has a very special way with words. To the untrained ear he is loud and crass; to those that speak Kacchan, he is caring and inspiring. Yet there are rare moments, moments so fleeting you blink and you miss them, where Bakugou’s words pierce straight through Midoriya’s chest, and surprise everyone around him.

Goddammit, if only he would say them to Midoriya’s face.

Or, the five times Bakugou said something nice about Midoriya, and the one time he said something kind to him (but that was too long of a title).

I think most would consider this my best published fic; it’s one of those snapshot fics, “the five times where x did this, and the one time where they didn’t.” The recurring comment I get on this one is both of them being super in character, so I think that’s it’s defining characteristic! Bakugou and Midoriya have never known a life without the other, and in a perfect world, they never will.

Here, let me fix that (11247 words)

Summary: Bakugou honestly never thought he’d see Deku ever again. And now that they were together in this tiny compartment, alone for the next two and a half minutes, he had no clue what to say. He’d just apologized, right? So perhaps he could leave it at that and carry on with the original plan to never see the green-haired man that reminded him of dense forests, late night adventures, and tear-stained faces, ever again.

Ha! Who is he kidding? These bitches are soulmates.

I’ve gotten some critiques on this one, so sorry in advance if it’s not to your liking! Basically, what if Midoriya never got his quirk? Obviously, life would find a way to put them together because, as previously stated, these bitches are soulmates.

Plenty of Time (16654 words)

Summary: Bakugou found what little sleep he got restless and filled with nightmares that he forgot the second he opened his eyes. Tonight was the first time in a long time where he just had a normal dream - and it happened to be about Deku.

How fucking typical.

In other words, two dorks realize they have feelings for each other but don't know what to do about said feelings.

Ah, my first fic. Very simple, boys being boys, kinda like a slow burn? Idk how to explain this one, just boys figuring out their feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them. Been told these two are a little stupid but I think that’s valid.

We’re all time bombs waiting to explode (39223 words)

Summary: We have now entered the slipstream of time, into an alternate dimension where it neither is, nor isn’t, the 80’s. Two teenagers, burdened with the weight of adolescence in the modern world, find themselves struggling side by side, in part because of each other.

Bakugou, the most popular boy in school, has everything he could possibly want; status, power, and an unbreakable will. Having been dragged along behind him all the way to the top, Midoriya can’t help but wonder how (and why) he ended up standing beside his childhood friend-turned bully-turned friend again, weighed down by their complicated past and present. As the tension between them grows every day, and the arrival of a new, pretty face causes it to peak, it won’t be long before something - or someone - snaps.

I am...very bad at titles, and summaries apparently. This was my Heathers au, but it very quickly diverges from the original (I don’t do sad endings....) *This one has mature content, including implied sexual activity, drug use, and underage drinking, along with other heavy topics; please read the tags! Though tbh Midoriya is 17 for a couple weeks before it hits his birthday halfway through, so keep that in mind I guess? I kind of went heavy with this one, but I think the pay off was immense. This is the one with the most amount of comments stating it’s their favorite bkdk fic ever (and I cry). It’s a rough start, with a rough journey, but so is bakudeku! There’s a lot of petty drama, and then all of a sudden it’s Not That Petty and very much Far Too Real. Many have cried reading the ending, I cried writing it. My sister says it’s her favorite of mine. Now, I did kind of push this out without polishing it so much because I was losing my willpower, so if it feels lacking, that’s one hundred percent my fault.

Okay that was a lot! It took me a couple days...I hope I wasn’t too annoying with all my opinions! Please have a nice day. and enjoy some good reads, even if they aren’t the ones in this post!

[6knotty6thotty6]

So a couple of months ago, I saw a YouTube video that was an audio recording of season 5, episode 6 of Bojack Horseman, “Free Churro.” In the episode, the main character, Bojack Horseman, spends 20 minutes giving a eulogy at his mother’s funeral. There’s one big problem though, his mother was an abusive bitch. His eulogy is him trying to contemplate what she meant by her drying words, “I see you,” and whether or not she loved him. As someone who has a dead parent who was abusive, this is probably my favorite episode of any show ever for how much it helped me understand my feelings. The comments section is filled with people sharing their pain with their abusive families, but one comment stood out to me above all the others by how raw and relatable it was. This comment was by a YouTuber named Moonstruck. At the bottom of this post is a link to her channel. Please support her. After reading this, she deserves a million subscribers. Also please watch Bojack Horseman. (I corrected some of the grammatical errors to make it easier to read)

Disclaimer: Child abuse, bullying, trauma, and mental health:

Moonstruck: 

This is a great monologue, but one part of it, in particular, really caught my attention was the 'grand gesture' bit.

When I was a kid, I read this book called "Chicken Soup for the Soul." There's a shitload of them. I don't remember which particular one it was. I hated the whole series because it's just someone profiting off a bunch of other people's stories rather than trying to write their own, in my opinion. 

Anyway.

This one story that I remember, the ONLY one I remembered,  was sent in by a little girl. She wrote about how her father never told her that he loved her. He never once, in her whole life, said the words "I love you." I don't remember her mom being mentioned, maybe she was dead; it doesn't matter. The point is her dad was basically an emotionless asshole. Well, one day, this girl gets sick. Really sick. Possibly on her deathbed sick. She wrote that one day she woke up to find a necklace sitting on her nightstand that had a pendant that looked like her dog. She said she held it to her heart and cried because that necklace said all the things her father never had.

I thought, "What a load of bullshit."

A cheap trinket doesn't make up for years and years of emotional neglect. Anyone can buy a thing and toss it your way. Hell, he didn't even hand it to her himself, just left it there for her to find if/when she woke up, then left her alone again to possibly die.

A lot of people say that actions speak louder than words, in cases like political protests and shit. While that's true, scenarios that this that girl are different. Gifts can never replace the words, "I love you."

When I was a kid, my father never told me he loved me. My mother didn't either, but she's a whole other kettle of fish. I would say 'my biological mother or father,' but I never got adopted ones, so who gives a shit. Anyway. My father was rarely around, and when he was, he just spent the entire time fighting with my mother and leaving again. He would do and say anything that could get him to spend less time in the house with her. With us. I can't blame him. If I could've left during those times, I would have. I tried more than once. I even earned the nickname 'runaway' from a family friend because of it. 

I was told that I was worthless as early as I could understand words. I don't know what it is about me that set my mother off, but she HATED me. I was always told how expensive I was to keep alive and how I wasn't worth it. If I dared ask for anything, she would remind me how much she spent just to keep me from starving to death and that it was too much already. On the rare occasion I was given something, it was so she could use it as a threat. She was like, "Sure, you can have that toy horse since we got your sister a real one, but you better behave or we'll give it to her and let her break it." Or "Oh, fine, we can keep this dog as a FAMILY pet (NOT YOURS), but if you do something we don't like, we'll take it away and kill it." 

Oh, yeah. I have a sister. She’s cut from the same cloth as our mother. I don't consider any of them family anymore. She was two years older than me. She was the "we should have stopped while we were ahead" kid. Anything she wanted, she got. 

"Mom, can I have an award-winning horse and expensive dressage lessons?"

"Sure!"

"Mom, can I have a car?"

"No problem!"

"Mom, can you pay for my ballet lessons?"

"Absolutely!"

She was the golden child. The one that could do no wrong and wasn't a mistake. Even after she totaled her car, got arrested for an underage DUI, and got pregnant three times in high school, she was still the good one. I never even asked to go to school dances, parties, or go out with the one friend I had. My sister liked to see me in pain. She'd tell our mom that I did things just to get me in trouble. Whether it involved blaming me for things she did or fabricating stuff, she'd say whatever it took to get my mother to beat me while she watched and laughed. Oh, yeah, our mom was BIG on physical punishment. I've been whipped with everything from a riding crop, a wooden paddle, spoons, and especially belts. Anything that was close at hand when my mother got irritated, I've been hit with it. 

At one point, my sister had three tall, beautiful show-worthy horses. I was allowed to keep a sickly old pony for all of a week before she was taken away, then I'd get called ungrateful for asking why we had to get rid of HER instead of one of the horses. Even though my mother said it cost too much to keep them all. With horses being obviously too rich for my blood, I asked for something cheaper, and for once, I got it. I was given a baby goat that one of our neighbors' goats had abandoned for being too weak, and they didn't have time to raise. I loved that goat. I bottle raised him, and named him Ben. He was my best friend for a while. When he grew up, he got so big that I was able to stand on his back to grab tree branches and pull them down so he could eat the leaves. I walked him on a leash like a dog every day. I loved him so much. My mother had me enter him in a show, and we won ninth place! I was thrilled to have something to show against my sister's collection of dressage show ribbons. I finally had proof that I could do something right! Sure, the prize money was taken away from me, but I still had Ben.

But Ben didn't come home with me after the show. It turns out he was sold to a slaughterhouse because that show was for meat goats. I didn't know until he was already gone. Of course, my mother punished me for being upset and even forced me to write a thank-you card to the people who bought his meat. 

My mother was always like that. Anything I loved was used as a threat. I eventually accepted that loving anything was a waste of time. I learned to detach myself from my feelings, and I got really good at it. I can completely turn off my emotional reaction to anything. One time I had to put down one of the egg-laying hens at work that got too sick to save, and I felt nothing while bringing down the ax. When I lost out on a job that could have changed my life, I told myself how stupid it was to hope for anything good. Any positive emotion I felt got me punished, so I learned to feel nothing at all. To this day, I still have trouble feeling things, even when I want to. I'm taking pills now, and they help, sometimes. 

I've had several suicide attempts. I keep a box of razor blades in my desk just to have them close. I got a tattoo of a heart with rainbows on my wrist. Partially for LGBT solidarity, but mostly to remind myself that there is still beauty in the world. I still struggle with wonder if I actually believe it or not. 

I've tried so hard to be a good kid. I never partied, never drank, never smoked even when the chances were there, and I would have greatly loved anything to make the pain stop or even just dull it a little bit. I was in the gifted and talented program at school and was able to graduate at fifteen. For a while, I was sent to a children's home where I was passed around to many people I didn't know, including a clown who I may or may not have actually been related to, until I eventually wound up out here where I am now. It's all pretty hazy, and the details get scrambled. 

It's been 10 years since I've had contact with my mother and sister. I can't even keep in touch with the one friend I had, even after I lived with her. She's tried to reach out to me, but I just… can't. I try, but I can't. Sometimes, I can almost pretend that my past wasn't real. It's just a hazy fog that isn't really there. I want to believe that if I don't allow something, or someone, who was part of that past, someone tangible and real, into my life again, then the fog will go away. This is why I can't do it. I know I'm a terrible friend. Ariel, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. You're better off without me in your life anyway. 

I typed all of this out because sometimes, about fifty dollars or so shows up in my PayPal from my father's email address. I don't know if it's from him or from her using his email, but it doesn't matter either way. The point is I know my mother is the one sending the money.

I know my mother likes to think she's a good person. She went to church every Sunday, and probably still does. She organized a lot of church events and participated in every church function. I had to be an altar server for several years until I aged out of it and was in the choir. She kept going to that church even after the priest got drunk, called me many horrible names in front of everyone, and was revealed to be a pedophile that raped a little boy at gunpoint. She probably still goes to that same church and organizes things. She likes being in charge. She likes having people look at her and say, "That there is a good person."

But are you, though, Mom? Are you really a good person? Were you a good person when you hit me? When you lied to me? When you laughed with my sister about how much I got hurt for things I didn't do? Were you a good person every time you told me you'd kill my cat or leave my dog at the pound? Were you a good person when you sold Ben to be eaten, knowing that I loved him? Were you a good person when you made me read "A child called It" and told me that you'd start doing the things in that book to me if I didn't behave? Were you a good person every time you told my father I was a liar whenever I tried to tell him what you were doing to me? Were you a good person when you told me I wasn't worth the cost of being alive? Were you? 

Fuck you, Mom! Keep your fucking money! A necklace on the nightstand isn't enough. A trinket can't heal years and years and years of abuse and hurt. You can't hide these scars under dollar bills. I hope you die alone. I know I probably will, but I don't even care anymore. I lost the ability to care thanks to you. You can't make up for the things you did and the things you didn't say now. Too little, too late! 

[peekbackstage]

Why do you think that at iQIYI and at Tencent Xiao Zhan was kept separate from the rest of the talent? He was alone in a room waiting last night and didn't mingle with any of the other guests. Is it because they are afraid of being tainted by his scandal? Or is he a standoffish person? It is sad if people won't interact with him because they don't want to be associated with his his scandal and bad reputation that is not completely his fault.

Hi Anons,

Both @accio-victuuri​ and @rainbowsky​ commented about this here.

I actually didn’t watch the whole event - my day job is insanely busy, so I couldn’t watch it while I was working. Instead, I only watched the clips that iQIYI released on YouTube and that some others posted here, so I actually had no idea that there even was a green room for artists to hang out in and interact! 

Disclaimer: the following speculation is informed by my career in the music industry.

In terms of why XZ was not in the green room, I think any of the following could be contributing reasons as to why he did not participate:

1. Talent buyer did not include green room in deal memo  When any appearance is booked, a deal memo is struck for the appearance. It usually states exactly what is required/requested of the artist. The memo can include things such as live performance and any additional activities the buyer wants the artist to engage in. 

If the green room was not included in the deal memo, then XZ would only have been contractually obligated to offer a live performance. 

(Note: I do not know if XZ/his team requires any additional appearance fees for additional things he is required to do. I know that with the idols I worked with in the past, any time they were required to do anything extra, they needed compensation for it. So, if it was not included in the memo, it could simply be that they didn’t have the money his agent requested for his guarantee.) 

2. Avoided green room to prevent potential controversy

Like accio and rainbow both pointed out, it is entirely possible that XZ may have chosen to sit out of the green room activities to avoid any potential controversy or negativity that might be caused by antis. By removing himself from the picture entirely, he makes it so antis literally have nothing to talk about or do if he isn’t interacting with anyone. 

3. [Redacted Reason]

EDIT: I redacted what I originally wrote here due to concerns about antis being assholes, so, I’ll just say that there may also be other reasons that probably are best not spoken about publicly in the interest of protecting XZ. Please do not ask me to tell you privately what this was. I don’t feel comfortable sharing this.

--

I do not know for sure exactly why XZ wasn’t included in green room activities - all of this is really speculation. 

In terms of why XZ had to wait 6 hours before his performance - I don’t actually know what the performance schedule was like, or the order of performances. I also haven’t seen any of the other performances from that night, so can’t comment on the actual production either.

What I can say is that XZ performed beautifully, and the playback mix was perfect, and I have no complaints about his performance’s production. I was a little disappointed to see that he seemed a little sad in the end of his performance - there was no big smile that we often see when he performs. To me, XZ’s overall demeanor seemed a little muted, but it could just simply be that he was tired from having such a long wait. 

[rainbowsky]

Hi Rainbowsky!

I refrain from watching bts with disclaimer to not repost on other platforms. So use we/ibo for that. The issue comes in the language. Can you suggest me a way where I can continue to watch bts on we/ibo and still understand what they are saying. I have not found any single account which updates the translation of ALL the BTS.

This is in reference to a previous post.

That is because once a BTS has been deleted from the original account where it was posted, that is it. It's gone. There should never, ever be all the BTS in one location anywhere, especially not with subtitles. The clips are released by the fansites that purchased them, and only remain up for however long that site has decided to share them. Then they are deleted.

Translations are done by fans such as FeFe and Claudia and Ventus1821 on Twitter, and you can follow along on their accounts and see the translations as the clips are released, and you can even scroll back through their posting history and find translations of older clips, but that is just the text translation. Anyone who is putting subtitles on video clips and posting them on Twitter and YouTube and Instagram and Facebook is a complete asshole. Particularly if, as is too often the case, their translation is wrong or exaggerated.

As for what to do about wanting to see all of the clips translated in one place and being unable to? The answer to that is a really simple: Let go of your need for something that is not in the best interest of GG and DD. Embrace the reality that you're only ever really going to see clips untranslated, and then read text translations of them later on. And the latter only if someone chooses to share a translation. Many clips are difficult, if not impossible, to find a translation for.

Most importantly, the more 'exciting' a clip is - which for most fans means the more potentially compromising it is - the more that it should simply not be seen by a lot of people or shared outside of its original release.

I'm sad that I actually have to explain this to people because it seems to me that it should be self-evident. Things that are potentially compromising of GG and DD should be handled with extra care and respect for their safety. They should not be plastered all over the internet.

[thetaoofbetty]

@bettsc​ i see you: 

first, a disclaimer: me not liking something is not a cheap shot at someone’s favorite trope or fic or movie or book or audiobook or show or youtube video or ship or tiktok or anything that has ever, in its life, said, here’s this trope, enjoy! so there’s no need to yell at me about how my opinion sucks, okay? okay. since i don’t care for it 90% of the time, there’s a really good chance i’ve never even read, watched, listened, or heard of whatever it is you might be offended on the behalf of.  

my biggest issue with them is the way the men are written, tbh. there seems to be two versions: the doormat and the asshole. 

and i dislike them both for the same reason, men know when you like them. maybe there are some exceptions out there in the world but let’s be real, men aren’t as stupid as we give them credit for. inexperienced or not, men who like you, will generally at some point make it known. even if it takes a minute to work up their confidence, a man deep in his feels is going to follow those feels. 

i know, i know. blasphemy! but i stand by it. 

so, the doormat is often the sad boy who loves the girl and will take whatever she's willing to give rather than open his mouth and express himself until it’s almost too late in the game for some perceived rejection he’s expecting anyway in the name of keeping a friendship (which doesn’t work for me because they’re often already sleeping together, ha) from becoming too complicated. again. they’re already sleeping together. 

and the asshole. sigh. this frigging guy. he’s ready, willing, and happy to sleep with the girl as long as no one knows about it and he gets to keep his options open. often a “reformed” fuckboi who is down to pound that one special friend who he sort of disregards until she’s sexually available to him. and then she catches feels and he knows but suddenly he’s not good enough for her. he generally breaks it off and then wanders with a few other girls before deciding that he fucked his way into feelings and she’s always so happy to take him back in the end. true love at last. 

has this trope been done well? absolutely. i’ve seen it done well! there’s something to be said in the execution of classic miscommunications and drama for this trope (and others, tbh) but i generally avoid them simply because it’s a personal meh of mine as a trope. when it’s done well, though, it’s *chef’s kiss.*