#dirty festivus

[amethystheart2421]

I was gifted Moonseeker smut for Dirty Festivus! 🥹✨🥰🙌

[drarryspecificrecsdaily]

2024.12.23

Complete fics posted on AO3 this day

1. Better not pout by @maesterchill [T, 1k]

Harry drags Draco to the cinema the day before Christmas Eve. Just as friends. Or maybe co-workers with benefits. Or... maybe more?

2. the keys you keep by @venrain [M, 105k]

Months after Harry is promoted to Head of Magical Law Enforcement, tragedy strikes. Cursed, Harry blames himself and flees to the States. And he's doing fine; really, he's having a grand time hiding from the world, drinking himself into a stupor, and losing himself in west Manhattan. Then, he stumbles into a lounge bar.

---

Fest/Exchange

1. Just a little liquid luck by Anonymous [E, 5k]

Tracking the movement of Potter’s eyes, Draco runs a greasy finger over the thickest of his scars. “You like them, don’t you? Pervert.” [...] ★ H/D Erised 2024 | @hd-erised

2. My Mate by Anonymous [E, 26k] 💗

Harry is a new Alpha and Draco is his Omega Healer. Draco wants to help Harry but Draco struggles to control himself whenever he is around. And Harry wants to breed Draco. Desperately so. Things come to a head when Draco and Harry become trapped with one another. Draco doesn't have his suppressant and it sends them both into heat. [...] ★ H/D Erised 2024 | @hd-erised

3. What a Kiss Looks Like by @evenmyzefronposter [E, 2k]

Harry is bad at Pictionary. Or maybe he wants more than a board game win. ★ Fifth Annual Dirty Festivus: Filthy and F*ckable

4. when the birds are heard again in their singing by @matredaen [T, 2k]

Harry hadn't been able to make it to the Hound and Hare's Thursday Trivia Night, which was a shame because Draco had specifically invited him—but unfortunately the moon waits for no man. Or, well. No wolf. He expects to spend the grey dim light of his Friday morning licking his wounds, both literal and metaphorical. He doesn't expect the barn owl, or the little care package clutched in her talons. ★ DCC Holiday Exchange

[caitlincheri]

Super proud of myself with this one! I have always been very hesitant and scared to write Luna, but I did it!

Here is my Dirty Festivus piece for my darling friend Frumpologist ❤️

Title: Saved By Moonlight

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Luna Lovegood/Draco Malfoy

Summary:

Draco Malfoy can't leave the past behind him. He suffers from nightmares that manifest as his most shameful acts from the war.

He finds his sanctuary in his beautiful, kind wife who has made it her mission to chase those nightmares away.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52324006

[brookston]

Holidays 12.23

Holidays

Anagram Day

Asian Corpsetwt Day [Every 23rd]

Be Kind Day

Bitumen Day (French Republic)

Children’s Day (Sudan, South Sudan)

Christmas Eve Eve

Day of All Level Operational Control Structures Servicemen (Ukraine)

Economists Day

Federal Reserve Day

Festivus (Seinfeld)

Fiesta de Andacollo begins (Chile)

Flag Day (Sweden)

Fool's Day

Happy Things Day

Immaculate Reception Anniversary Day

John Canoe Day (Jamaica)

Kisan Diwas (India)

Leap of Faithiversary

Learn Metric Day

Lille Juleaften (Small Christmas Eve; Denmark)

Metric Conversion Day

National Christmas Movie Marathon Day

National Farmers Day (India)

National Forest Day

National Laura Day

National Nicole Day

National Salon Marie Morris “Be Kind” Day

National Farmers Day (India)

National Roots Day (a.k.a. Family Roots Day)

Night of the Radishes (Noche de Rabanos; Mexico)

Porlaksmessa (Iceland)

Port Said Day (Egypt)

Queen's Birthday (Sweden)

Secret of the Unhewn Stone (Celtic)

Stars & Stripes Forever Day

Suez Victory Day (Egypt)

Tenno Tanjobi (Japan)

Tibb's Eve (Newfoundland, Labrador)

Tom Bawcock’s Eve (Cornwall, England)

Transistor Day

Two Days To Go Day

Victory Day (Egypt)

World Chase Tag Day

World Tacha Day (Nigeria)

Yuletide Lad #12 arrives (Ketkrókur or Meat Hook; Iceland)

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Bake Day

National Pfeffernüsse Day

National Popcorn Popping Day

Popcorn Popping Day

Root Beer Day

Stargazy Pie Day

World Checkers Custard Popsicles Day

4th Saturday in December

National Eggnog Day [4th Saturday]

Super Saturday [Saturday before Christmas]

Independence Days

Commonwealth of Deseret (Declared; 2012) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Abassad (Coptic Church)

Acca Larentis (Celtic goddess who guards the dead)

Behnam, Sarah, and the 40 Martyrs (Coptic Church; Martyrs)

Dagobert II (Christian; Saint)

Dauntless Dragon (Muppetism)

Festival of the Great Heat (Feast Day of Hathor; Ancient Egypt)

Festivus (Pastafarian)

Holiday (Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) [Date Approximate]

HumanLight Celebration (Secular Humanism)

John Belushi Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

John Cantius (Christian; Saint)

John Marin (Artology)

Larentalia (Old Roman festival honoring Dea Tacita, the silent odes, a goddess of the dead)

Lavoisier (Positivist; Saint)

O Emmanuel (7th O Antiphon or Great Advent Antiphon; Christian) [7 of 7]

Psote (Coptic Church)

Saturnalia Day 7: Day of the Mothers (Pagan)

Servulus (Christian; Saint)

The Ten Martyrs of Crete (Christian; Saint)

Thorlac Thorhallsson (Christian; Saint) [Iceland]

Victoria (Christian; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Fortunate Day (Pagan) [52 of 53]

Sakimake (先負 Japan) [Bad luck in the morning, good luck in the afternoon.]

Uncyclopedia Bad to Be Born Today (because nobody cares about you as it's nearly christmas.) 

Premieres

The Accidental Tourist (Film; 1988)

The African Queen (Film; 1951)

As Good as It Gets (Film; 1997)

Beaches (Film; 1988)

Blackadder’s Christmas Carol (UK TV Special; 1988)

Dangerous Liaisons (Film; 1988)

The Dawn Patrol (Film; 1938)

Da Ya Think I’m Sexy, by Rod Stewart (Song; 1978)

Dirty Harry (Film; 1971)

Emma, by Jane Austen (Novel; 1815) [#4]

Funny Things Happen Down Under (Film; 1966)

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (Film; 2022)

Good Morning, Vietnam (Film; 1987)

Grand Canyonscope (Disney Cartoon; 1954)

Green Card (Film; 1990)

Hansel und Gretel, by Englebert Humperdinck & Adelheid Wette (Opera; 1893)

Holiday Time at Disneyland (TV Special; 1962)

Mother Goose Goes Hollywood (Disney Cartoon; 1938)

My Blue Heaven, recorded by Fats Domino (Song; 1951)

My Week with Marilyn (Film; 2011)

The Pale Blue Eye (Film; 2022)

Scent of a Woman (Film; 1992)

This Magic Moment, recorded by The Drifters (Song; 1959)

Trollhunters (Animated TV series; 2016)

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (Disney Film; 1954)

UFO Club (London Bar; 1966)

Up in the Air (Film; 2009)

A Visit From Saint Nicholas or The Night Before Christmas, by Clement Clarke Moore (Poem; 1823)

Working Girl (Film; 1988)

Today’s Name Days

Victoria (Austria)

Ivan, Vikica, Viktorija (Croatia)

Vlasta (Czech Republic)

Torlacus (Denmark)

Eugenia, Senna, Senni (Estonia)

Noel, Senni (Finland)

Armand (France)

Johannes, Victoria (Germany)

Nifon (Greece)

Viktória (Hungary)

Giovanni (Italy)

Balva, Saulcerīte, Viktorija (Latvia)

Mina, Veliuona, Viktorija, Vilbutas (Lithuania)

Sigurd, Sjur (Norway)

Dagobert, Mina, Sławomir, Sławomira, Wiktoria (Poland)

Angelina (Russia)

Nadežda (Slovakia)

Juan, Victoria (Spain)

Adam (Sweden)

Avrele, Avrela (Ukraine)

Hart, Hartman, Latoya, Wade (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 357 of 2024; 8 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 6 of week 51 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Ruis (Elder) [Day 26 of 28]

Chinese: Month 12 (Jia-Zi), Day 11 (Yi-Mao)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 11 Teveth 5784

Islamic: 10 Jumada II 1445

J Cal: 27 Zima; Sixday [27 of 30]

Julian: 10 December 2023

Moon: 88%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 21 Bichat (13th Month) [Lavoisier]

Runic Half Month: Jara (Year) [Day 13 of 15]

Season: Winter (Day 3 of 89)

Zodiac: Capricorn (Day 2 of 31)

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 12.23

Holidays

Anagram Day

Asian Corpsetwt Day [Every 23rd]

Be Kind Day

Bitumen Day (French Republic)

Children’s Day (Sudan, South Sudan)

Christmas Eve Eve

Day of All Level Operational Control Structures Servicemen (Ukraine)

Economists Day

Federal Reserve Day

Festivus (Seinfeld)

Fiesta de Andacollo begins (Chile)

Flag Day (Sweden)

Fool's Day

Happy Things Day

Immaculate Reception Anniversary Day

John Canoe Day (Jamaica)

Kisan Diwas (India)

Leap of Faithiversary

Learn Metric Day

Lille Juleaften (Small Christmas Eve; Denmark)

Metric Conversion Day

National Christmas Movie Marathon Day

National Farmers Day (India)

National Forest Day

National Laura Day

National Nicole Day

National Salon Marie Morris “Be Kind” Day

National Farmers Day (India)

National Roots Day (a.k.a. Family Roots Day)

Night of the Radishes (Noche de Rabanos; Mexico)

Porlaksmessa (Iceland)

Port Said Day (Egypt)

Queen's Birthday (Sweden)

Secret of the Unhewn Stone (Celtic)

Stars & Stripes Forever Day

Suez Victory Day (Egypt)

Tenno Tanjobi (Japan)

Tibb's Eve (Newfoundland, Labrador)

Tom Bawcock’s Eve (Cornwall, England)

Transistor Day

Two Days To Go Day

Victory Day (Egypt)

World Chase Tag Day

World Tacha Day (Nigeria)

Yuletide Lad #12 arrives (Ketkrókur or Meat Hook; Iceland)

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Bake Day

National Pfeffernüsse Day

National Popcorn Popping Day

Popcorn Popping Day

Root Beer Day

Stargazy Pie Day

World Checkers Custard Popsicles Day

4th Saturday in December

National Eggnog Day [4th Saturday]

Super Saturday [Saturday before Christmas]

Independence Days

Commonwealth of Deseret (Declared; 2012) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Abassad (Coptic Church)

Acca Larentis (Celtic goddess who guards the dead)

Behnam, Sarah, and the 40 Martyrs (Coptic Church; Martyrs)

Dagobert II (Christian; Saint)

Dauntless Dragon (Muppetism)

Festival of the Great Heat (Feast Day of Hathor; Ancient Egypt)

Festivus (Pastafarian)

Holiday (Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) [Date Approximate]

HumanLight Celebration (Secular Humanism)

John Belushi Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

John Cantius (Christian; Saint)

John Marin (Artology)

Larentalia (Old Roman festival honoring Dea Tacita, the silent odes, a goddess of the dead)

Lavoisier (Positivist; Saint)

O Emmanuel (7th O Antiphon or Great Advent Antiphon; Christian) [7 of 7]

Psote (Coptic Church)

Saturnalia Day 7: Day of the Mothers (Pagan)

Servulus (Christian; Saint)

The Ten Martyrs of Crete (Christian; Saint)

Thorlac Thorhallsson (Christian; Saint) [Iceland]

Victoria (Christian; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Fortunate Day (Pagan) [52 of 53]

Sakimake (先負 Japan) [Bad luck in the morning, good luck in the afternoon.]

Uncyclopedia Bad to Be Born Today (because nobody cares about you as it's nearly christmas.) 

Premieres

The Accidental Tourist (Film; 1988)

The African Queen (Film; 1951)

As Good as It Gets (Film; 1997)

Beaches (Film; 1988)

Blackadder’s Christmas Carol (UK TV Special; 1988)

Dangerous Liaisons (Film; 1988)

The Dawn Patrol (Film; 1938)

Da Ya Think I’m Sexy, by Rod Stewart (Song; 1978)

Dirty Harry (Film; 1971)

Emma, by Jane Austen (Novel; 1815) [#4]

Funny Things Happen Down Under (Film; 1966)

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (Film; 2022)

Good Morning, Vietnam (Film; 1987)

Grand Canyonscope (Disney Cartoon; 1954)

Green Card (Film; 1990)

Hansel und Gretel, by Englebert Humperdinck & Adelheid Wette (Opera; 1893)

Holiday Time at Disneyland (TV Special; 1962)

Mother Goose Goes Hollywood (Disney Cartoon; 1938)

My Blue Heaven, recorded by Fats Domino (Song; 1951)

My Week with Marilyn (Film; 2011)

The Pale Blue Eye (Film; 2022)

Scent of a Woman (Film; 1992)

This Magic Moment, recorded by The Drifters (Song; 1959)

Trollhunters (Animated TV series; 2016)

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (Disney Film; 1954)

UFO Club (London Bar; 1966)

Up in the Air (Film; 2009)

A Visit From Saint Nicholas or The Night Before Christmas, by Clement Clarke Moore (Poem; 1823)

Working Girl (Film; 1988)

Today’s Name Days

Victoria (Austria)

Ivan, Vikica, Viktorija (Croatia)

Vlasta (Czech Republic)

Torlacus (Denmark)

Eugenia, Senna, Senni (Estonia)

Noel, Senni (Finland)

Armand (France)

Johannes, Victoria (Germany)

Nifon (Greece)

Viktória (Hungary)

Giovanni (Italy)

Balva, Saulcerīte, Viktorija (Latvia)

Mina, Veliuona, Viktorija, Vilbutas (Lithuania)

Sigurd, Sjur (Norway)

Dagobert, Mina, Sławomir, Sławomira, Wiktoria (Poland)

Angelina (Russia)

Nadežda (Slovakia)

Juan, Victoria (Spain)

Adam (Sweden)

Avrele, Avrela (Ukraine)

Hart, Hartman, Latoya, Wade (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 357 of 2024; 8 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 6 of week 51 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Ruis (Elder) [Day 26 of 28]

Chinese: Month 12 (Jia-Zi), Day 11 (Yi-Mao)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 11 Teveth 5784

Islamic: 10 Jumada II 1445

J Cal: 27 Zima; Sixday [27 of 30]

Julian: 10 December 2023

Moon: 88%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 21 Bichat (13th Month) [Lavoisier]

Runic Half Month: Jara (Year) [Day 13 of 15]

Season: Winter (Day 3 of 89)

Zodiac: Capricorn (Day 2 of 31)

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: Dirty Festivus

Dirty Festivus 2020:

Restraint by Misdemeanor1331 - E, one-shot - In a rare role reversal, Draco agrees to be the submissive for a scene. But what Hermione has planned for him may be more than he can handle.

Filled Up by TriDogMom - E, one-shot - When Hermione wins a bet, she is MORE than happy that the four Slytherin men are willing to give her what she wants.**Spoiler: she wants peen**A Dirty Festivus for the rest of us. (Hermione x multiples)

A Quiet Christmas Eve by RoseHarperMaxwell - E, one-shot -  It's Christmas Eve, and a handful of eighth-year students are having a sleepover in the common room. Draco wakes Hermione up, but she'll need to be quiet for what he has in mind.

The Ambush by Shamione - E, one-shot - Another year, another Festivus party. But this year, Hermione desperately wished not to attend. All because of a pompous, pale, blonde prick and the image of him kissing another woman playing on repeat on the front of the Daily Prophet. But what happens when he shows up with an explanation that's hard to ignore?

Watching You Get Turned On (I’m Yours) by Frumpologist - E, one-shot - Harry has enjoyed both Hermione and Draco separately, but after one night at the Ministry’s Yule ball, he selflessly helps Hermione achieve two of her greatest fantasies: semi-public sex and being watched by none other than Draco Malfoy.

On Nights Like These by dreamsofdramione (Bugggghead) - E, one-shot - On nights like these, he takes her apart, piece by piece, then builds her back up in the span of a few hours, polished and panting and better than before.

The Season for Sin by Elle_Morgan_Black - E, 4 chapters - Lucius has guided Hermione’s sexual awakening and descent into debauchery. She wants to learn more, and he’s got a deliciously wicked request of his young wife. Call it a Christmas present, really. He wants her to seduce Draco.

Find Me Here by WordsmithMusings - E, one-shot - For the Winter Solstice, Draco Malfoy asks Hermione Granger to help him cleanse and renew the magic of his family's circle. There's just one little detail she seems to have missed when she said yes - ritual sex magic is required.

Tied with Ribbon and Rope by DeviantHufflepuff (AcaciaRaff96) - E, one-shot - Draco finds a pretty little gift under the Christmas tree. Hermione Granger wrapped in rope and a bow.

[dreamsofdramione]

Bad Habits

written for @its_banannaz as part of the Dirty Festivus 2021 exchange.

E || 3.5k Praise is Hermione's drug of choice. And she is always willing to bend over backward in search of her next fix.

Read on Ao3

[misdemeanor1331]

New Fic Alert: Restraint

My Dirty Festivus 2020 piece was revealed today!! Please check it and the entire collection out for some smutty delights!  

Restraint (AO3)

Summary: In a rare role reversal, Draco agrees to be the submissive for a scene. But what Hermione has planned for him may be more than he can handle.

Preview: 

They sleep separately.

They always do before a scene. It’s easier for both of them, something they’d learned through years of practice, trial and error. It gives Hermione the separation she needs, allowing her to cultivate an objectivity that’s hard to come by as a dedicated professor.

It gives Draco a chance to think, to understand what he wants and why he wants it. He has to prepare himself.

Fortunately, even though they’re unquestionably and irrevocably together, they still maintain separate quarters. His are in the dungeons, just below the lake’s waterline, cold, dark, and remote. He misses the lofty view and occasional drafts of the seventh floor, but his bed is comfortable enough.

Draco draws the blankets to his chest and turns onto his side to stare out the window. Occasionally, glimmers of bioluminescence cut through the lake’s dark waters. It’s a reminder, he supposes, of the depths contained in every important space. Those dark, haunting places that only a few people have the privilege to see and, even then, never for long.

It’s temporary—an opportunity.

And he’d be a fool not to study it when given the chance.

He falls asleep to the thought, hoping it will make tomorrow easier.

Deep down, he knows it won’t.

[wordsmithmusings265]

Find Me Here

Written for @tridogmom​‘s Dirty Festivus for the amazing @nuclearnik​

Title: Find Me Here Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger

Rating: E

Complete, one shot

Tags/Warnings: SMUT, Outdoor sex, ritual sex, dirty talk, praise kink

Summary: For the Winter Solstice, Draco Malfoy asks Hermione Granger to help him cleanse and renew the magic of his family's circle. There's just one little detail she seems to have missed when she said yes - ritual sex magic is required

Snippet:  

"You want to perform a sex ritual?"

Draco paused and turned to face her once again. His brows knit in confusion as he crossed back to where she was standing. She swallowed as her eyes drifted to the wide expanse of bare chest, and she pushed aside the baser instincts that wanted to count and touch each tattoo. She forced her eyes back to meet his, tilting her head slightly to look up at him. "I thought you read the brief?” he asked, looking down at her. "And were the foremost expert in ritual cleansing?"

"I did. I am. I -"

"Then you know, the ritual for this particular cleansing, in this space, on this holy day, involves ritual sex," he spoke the words slowly as if he was talking to a small child and part of her bristled at his tone; still, she could not get her brain to move past the one point.

"You want to have sex with me?" she cringed internally at how small and unsure she sounded, but he didn't seem to notice. 

Instead, he merely smirked at her, "Yes."

 Read it Here

[amethystheart2421]

Happy Festivus!

My Dirty Festivus exchange fic is live! My first time writing Severus/Sybill! 😆🙌 I had a blast, not gonna lie.

[tridogmom]

Filled Up

A Dirty Festivus story for @devianthufflepuff

{Ao3}

Pairing: Hermione x Severus x Lucius x Draco X Theo

[luxlouise04]

Dirty Santa

Hermione/Neville

E

When a game of dirty secret santa is proposed for the annual Christmas party, Neville finally gets the chance he's always looked for.

My contribution to the Dirty Festivus Exchange hosted by the amazing @tridogmom

[wordynerdygurl]

Naughty or Nice?

Author’s Note:  Hey Everyone! It’s me, here with a little holiday drabble for you! This is a short one, so, please enjoy! And to my friends farvand wide, Happy Hannukah, Solstice, Christmas, Kwanza, Festivus and so on! Eat, drink and be merry!! Also, send love! Comments! Reblogs! Questions! All of it!! Pairing:  Loki x Female Reader Summary: Loki catches you in the kitchen with a very important question… Have you been a good girl this year? Warnings: This is fluffy! Some implied smut but nothing strong. It’s a little sugar cookie for you all!

“Have you been naughty?  Or nice?“

God, had it always sounded so dirty?  When you were nine and the bearded man at the mall asked you this question it didn’t give you tinsel-like tingles, right?  No.  No it didn’t.

Because Santa is wholesome.  He is loving.  He is literally the magic of Christmas and not even a little bit sexy.

Except for when Santa isn’t Santa.  When it’s Loki wearing those red pants with the furry cuffs, patting his knee suggestively, your body temperature doubles.  Suspenders crisscross over Loki’s shoulders, dark hair curling out from under the band of his jingle belled cap, the kind preferred by Santa’s Helpers everywhere.  It rang as Loki lifted his chin your direction, “Well?  Does your name belong on the Good List?  Or… the Naughty one?”

“Loki…"  Uh uh.  Nope.  This game wasn’t safe.  

Again Loki tapped his thighs.  "It’s customary.  You tell me what you want for Christmas and if you’ve behaved well, you earn your holiday wish.  I have the details correct, yes pet?”

Nodding, “Yes… you do.  But…”

“But?”

“I’m not going to do that, Loki.”

Smiling wickedly, “What aren’t you going to do?  Tell me your wish list?”

“Sit on your lap.”

“I see.  Well, then, it’s crystal clear.”

Snapping your head around, “What is?”

Loki’s blue eyes search yours, “Which list your name belongs on…”

You take a step closer to him, his teasing burns you like spicy cinnamon, well past the point of sweetness.   But your fire flared when you caught sight of Loki.  He was grinning at you!  The devious little imp was grinning at you and god help you, it was working.

You couldn’t stop the rolling of your eyes.  It was your only defense.  "Please.  This is so… silly.  Childish.  Beneath you.“

Looking a tiny bit wounded, Santa Loki hummed, "Is it?  Too bad.  I find this outfit quite comfortable.”

You couldn’t say whether he was comfortable or not.  But he did look fine in the cheap red pants, black boots peeking out from under fake furry cuffs, a white v-neck undershirt clinging to his lean chest.  Damn.  He made everything he wore look sinful and this Santa get up was no exception.  

All you manage was a nod in answer. Your body could melt right into the comforting hot cocoa warmth of Loki’s, if you’d allow that.  Which you wouldn’t!  No way.

Peeking under your lashes with a sweeping gaze his way, nope.  Still handsome.  Still standing there.  Still staring at you.

“Dove?"  His voice was snow soft now.  Sugared.  Dare you say it?  Seductive.

You didn’t turn.  You couldn’t.  If you saw Loki now, you’d crumble into his arms, a gingerbread dust pile.  "Yes?”

“You didn’t answer my question.  And I can’t be a proper Santa without checking my list.  Twice!”  Loki raised his two fingers in emphasis and your mouth went dry.  An image of those digits dancing down your body made you shiver.

Whining slightly, “Please Loki… just…”

“Just what?  Tell me what you want.  Do that and who knows, pet?  Maybe you’ll get exactly what you desire this year.”

Loki was close.  Closer than before, which you didn’t think was possible.  You could smell the deep forest pine of his cologne and peppermint cookie on his breath.  Shifting your eyes but not your head, you bit into your bottom lip, shaking your head no.

His arm skated over your waist, not tugging, just resting there.  You dropped the plastic cutlery onto the filmy green tablecloth.  Clutching the edge of the table to steady yourself, turning into Loki’s looming figure, “There’s only one thing I want for Christmas, Loki…"  

Your husky whisper glazes over him like fluffy white frosting, "You.”

Loki captured your mouth in a cinnamon spiked kiss that melted your body into his.  Tangling your tongues like tree tinsel, Loki licked over your punch flavored lips, moaning sweetly.  Skating his hands over your hips, cupping your backside, Loki has your body flush with his own.

“Hmm… is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Grinding closer to you, Loki smirked, “Want a taste?"  

And boy do you ever.  Palming Loki through the rough red of his Santa pants, fingers tracing his length, you feel him twitch under your hand.

"Naughty… definitely naughty, dearest.”

“Yea… but I think that’s how you like me, isn’t Santa?”

“How I love you is naked and begging in our bed.  Remind me kitten, why aren’t we there now?”

Sliding your hand along his black suspenders, taking a minute to caress those wide shoulders, you twist a lock of raven hair in your fingers.  Tugging hard, with a lick at Loki’s neck, you murmur, “Because we’re at The Avengers holiday party and you told everyone we’d bring cookies.”

“I am… an idiot.”

Loki said it with a teasing smile and you nodded, agreeing.  “At times!  But, I meant it Loki… all I want is you.”

Pulling a small black box from behind his back, “Oh… I guess I’ll have to return this then.”

Lifting it just out of your reach, you hopped, hoping to catch Loki’s hand with the tiny package.  “You wouldn’t dare!”

As you reached again, Loki swung you into a deep dipped kiss, his arm curled around your waist for support.  “All I want is to make you happy.”

Tenderly, Santa Loki tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his blue eyes searching yours.  You felt tears come to your eyes, filling them, at the sentiment in Loki’s words.  "You do, Loki.  You do.“

A pleased grin broke across his handsome face as he brought you back up to standing.  For a minute you just stood there in each other’s arms, basking in the quiet moment of your shared feelings, foreheads touching.  It didn’t last long.

The kitchen door pushed open with a swift swing.  "You two!  We’re waiting!  It is time for presents!"  Thor bellowed at you both before rushing back to the crowd.

Loki rolled his eyes.  "Mood ruined.”

Giggling softly, “Nah… not ruined.  You knew we would have to face them all eventually.”

Looking forlornly at the door, “But do we really have to?  We could just sneak out… go home… get naked…"  

Swatting his arm, "Soon.  I promise.  Right now though we need to spread some cheer!”

Loki watched you pick up the tray of cookies you had baked all day.  Straightening his hat, he nodded, “Alright.  Let’s do this…”

Turning at the doorway you pause.  “Oh, and Loki… I meant to tell you.  I forgot to put on panties tonight before we came over.”

His eyes widening, Loki froze for a second, watching you shake your bottom as you left the kitchen.  “Definitely naughty.”

Tagging my faithful followers:  @archy3001

@iamverity

@jamielea81

@jessiejunebug

@brokenthelovely

@nonsensicalobsessions

@thefallenbibliophilequote

@mizfit2

@alexakeyloveloki

@rorybutnotgilmore

[motherbearof03]

I wrote this for a Dirty Festivus Secret Santa exchange. A new pairing, a new kink and a new POV for me. Hope you like it!

[brokestminimalist]

‘Tis the season...

…for stress, suicide, and heart attacks.

Listen up.  Christmas is December 25th, every single year.  It doesn’t sneak up behind you like a mugger in a dark alley.  It’s never a surprise.  You can’t possibly forget when it is.  Since that is the case, there is no excuse for anyone to be shopping for Christmas gifts on the 24th.  Or the 23rd, for that matter. Or that entire week, in fact. Christmas Eve is a day that you should be spending with your family and friends, cooking, playing games, reading together, wrapping gifts, etc.  You should not be at a store.  You should not be spending money.  You should not be contributing to the commercialization of what is otherwise a deeply meaningful holiday. You should not be imposing on retail workers, who are forced to spend this time away from their own families, just because you are a disorganized failure of a human who can’t be bothered to take care of your shopping at a reasonable time.  Get your crap together before the very last minute like a real adult.  (Yeah, that’s right.  We know you’ve just been fake adulting all this time.)

We, unfortunately, are that retail worker.  We spent Christmas Eve last year behind a customer service desk, getting yelled at by people who waited until the very last minute to buy This Year’s Big Thing and were angry that we were out of it.  On Christmas Eve.  Of course we are out of it. It’s Christmas Eve. You should be at home with your kids, not harassing poor retail drones who have no control over stock and just want to get off our feet and have Christmas dinner.  We did not get to see our families.  We did not get to play Dirty Santa or eat any pie or see Great Uncle Jim, who might not be around for that many more Christmases.   We didn’t get to watch the Peanuts special with the kids, because we were too busy taking care of these materialistic, inconsiderate sheeple who think that they need to rush out at the last minute to buy a bunch of stuff to impress relatives they see once a year or less.

Because that’s what it’s about, really.  They aren’t buying three hundred dollars worth of name brand toys and clothes out of the goodness of their hearts, they are doing it out of the obligation that Christmas creates.  They aren’t buying gifts because Jesus commanded them to care for the poor, they are just fulfilling an expectation.  They are spending money so that the rest of the family won’t think less of them.  And they’re going into debt.  At least half are making these purchases on credit cards, which they will spend the next several months paying down.  The gifts themselves will likely get played with for a few days and then put aside or quickly broken.  Next year, the cycle will begin again. Obligation, debt, disuse.  Meanwhile, pressure increases every year along with stress.  Kids don’t just get one gift from Santa, they get twenty. Parents work more hours so they can afford it. Heart attacks and depression rates skyrocket.

Is it worth it? Of course not. Stress literally shortens your life.  Is your sister going to remember what you got her this year in ten years?  No.  Are your kids?  Certainly not. What do you remember from when you were a kid?  Is it the presents themselves, or is it the feeling of Christmas?  Seriously.  They’re going to remember sitting by the tree with family, they’re going to remember playing with their cousins, baking cookies with grandma, and making snow angels with the neighbor kids.  We don’t remember what we got for Christmas when we were ten, but we remember sliding down a snow-covered hill on a trash can lid with our brother.  We remember making our own ornaments for the tree and leaving out milk and cookies for Santa.  We remember a pancake breakfast on Christmas morning, making s’mores in the fireplace, and talking on the phone to relatives who lived across the country. Mostly we remember the anticipation, the warmth, the closeness, rather than the toys or clothes we got and quickly broke or outgrew.

The solution is simple.  Just stop.  Don’t be a commercial Christmas gift giver.   Be creative, but don’t go shopping and don’t spend an excessive amount of money.  Think about the person this gift is for, and tailor it to them.  Give IOU’s for a chore like babysitting, grass cutting, or house cleaning.  Give out items that you sewed or baked.  Give out plants that you’ve grown, especially cooking herbs. Get together with other family members and start a college fund for the newest baby. Gather favorite recipes from the oldest generation and collect them into booklets for the one that’s coming of age. Make jars of sugar scrub.  Get one of your grandparents to sit with a voice recorder and tell stories from their childhood, then give copies to everyone. Teach a teenager how to drive or how to cook, something that they’ll take with them and use for the rest of their lives. Sign the little kids up for library cards.  Make candles or soaps.  Make your own cards to go with them.  And don’t start in December!  Start early, get your projects going, and spend December enjoying your home and your family instead of fluorescent lights and crowded parking lots.

This is supposed to be the season of giving, so give! Give your time, your knowledge, or your skills.  Give the product of your hobbies.  And if you have been too busy or too broke for even those, then give a cozy morning with family. Give an old movie while drinking hot chocolate. Give a drive around town to check out the best Christmas lights. Give a game of catch or an afternoon building a snowman or a funny story by the fireplace.  Give advice.  Give hugs.  You can be generous without things and without money.  Get into the spirit of a minimalist holiday and drag your friends and family along with you. If they get mad at the lack of material items, you should probably get new friends.

A few other things, before we go.

We here at Brokest Minimalist don’t actually give or accept Christmas gifts, as a general rule.  This is kind of extreme, but it works for us.  We spread the word far and wide that we don’t want things, and we don’t buy things for people.  Instead, we make homemade cards every year to send out. We put in bits of poetry, our own drawings, and handfuls of glitter.  Why?  We want to acknowledge the season and wish others well for the start of the new year, but we don’t want to contribute to the obligation/debt/disuse cycle and we don’t want to encourage our loved ones to do the same.  If we wind up attending an event, we bring a batch of brownies or pumpkin butter along as tribute.  We do not bring individual gifts, nor do we spend a single minute of our time shopping or looking at advertisements or giving any shits what the latest and greatest thing is.  We do not have holiday stress, except as it is forced onto us by excessive traffic or having to spend three hours in line at Wal-Mart just to buy a loaf of bread or some dog food because everyone else and their mom is there trying to get last-minute gifts that they put about three seconds of thought into.

This is difficult for our family.  Some people understood right away, but a few still don’t get it.  One relative still mails us a present every year, even though she lives in town, because she knows we won’t go to her house to get it.  We usually thank her politely and donate it to charity after the first of the year.  If you would like to go truly gift-free, we recommend letting your family know well in advance and being prepared for confusion.  If some continue to give you gifts anyway, accept them graciously and then donate them when you get a chance.  Or, tell them that they may give you gifts that are consumable, such as food, candy, hygiene products, candles, etc. Stuff that can get used up, in other words, and won’t linger around your house attracting more clutter.  Or, tell them to donate to a charity in your name. (An exception is if you have little kids. Please have a few things for them to unwrap on Christmas morning if that’s what they are used to.  It’s likely that they won’t understand and their upset will ruin the day for both them and you.  Let them unwrap a few presents and then distract them with games, delicious food, and visits with family.)

If someone you know is going minimalist and refusing to exchange gifts, please accept this and don’t argue with them about it. Don’t assume it’s because of money, though it may be in part.  Don’t feel sorry for them for the lack of gifts (although you can be sorry if they miss Christmas with your family because they were forced to work instead). Send them a card, give them a call, and wish them luck with their project.  When you buy someone a gift while knowing they don’t want you to, you aren’t doing them a favor.  You aren’t doing something nice, you’re giving them stress and guilt and an implied obligation to pay you back for your kindness.  So don’t do it. Take them at their word, wish them well, and go on with your life.  

If you have spent previous seasons stressing out, shopping, going into debt, or otherwise doing things you don’t want to do, spend today and tomorrow relaxing. Spend time with your family.  Have a hot bath, a cup of hot chocolate, an extra slice of pie.  Do some yoga, breathe deeply, and let it go. This year can be different; you can make it so. Lolz, we rhymed. 

Merry Christmas, Festivus, Kwanzaa, and a belated Happy Hannukah to everyone.  If none of those holidays suit you, we wish you peace, love and ice cream anyway.  

Links: simple Christmas links from becomingminimalist, sugar scrub recipe

[roseharpermaxwell]

Happy Dirty Festivus @motherbearof03! 🎄Thank you to @tridogmom for organizing this smutty holiday gift exchange. Reading my way though these today...🔥

A Quiet Christmas Eve

Rating: E

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and a handful of eighth-year students are having a sleepover in the common room. Draco wakes Hermione up, but she'll need to be quiet for what he has in mind.

Featuring: thrill-seeking behavior, a slightly jealous Draco, and good girl Hermione; graphic by @dreamsofdramione 💚

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