#dirtbag!Eddie

[urhoneycombwitch]

you oughta know: part I

Spring Break

series masterlist

foreword: since Eddie Munson is our collective Ken doll to dress up as we please I present to you my new and improved: dirtbag!college!Eddie. now with 50% more tattoos and a splash of 90s grunge college academia aesthetic.

cw: drinking, intoxication, R has breasts, R and Eddie are slut4slut in this

___

The bass on this houseparty’s stereo pumps through the floorboards, rattling every wall of the building. Hiding out in the less-stimulating kitchen seems like a good option for tonight.

Apparently, this other guy thinks so, too, ‘cuz soon it’s just you and him across the counter from another. He’s handsome, actually. Moonlight from a window above the sink highlights strong cheekbones and a sharp cupid’s bow as he helps himself to a glass from the cupboard.

Slinking out from elbow-rolled shirtsleeves are thick, dark vine tattoos; they wind around his forearms, smattered with hair and freckles, the ink trailing to end at his wrists.

You lean forward onto the counter separating you two (well aware that you’re spilling out of your top), then tip the neck of your beer bottle at him- “Eddie?”

He spins to face you, raises a pretty brow, long lashes sweeping over auburn eyes- “Uh- maybe? Who wants to know, dollface.”

A scrunch of distaste with your nose at the nickname, you barrel through the discomfort- “Oh, I thought it might be you. I’m Robin’s roommate. She said her weed guy had cool tattoos.”

The guy’s face lights up with a lopsided smile, dimples peeking out as he preens, “So you think they’re cool?”

You roll your eyes, take an unamused sip of beer, press a bit further into your hands on the counter. A little thrill at your small victory- his eyes flicking down once, twice, to your cleavage- you ride the alcohol-gifted looseness and adrenaline. “Psst. Hey. My eyes are up here, perv.”

It’s a tease. A goad masked as chiding. Eddie sets his glass of water down, doe eyes fixed on yours, not falling for the trap of your quick inhale- “You seriously sayin’ that to me, when you’re the one with your tits out?”

He tsks, walks those big boots over, leanin’ in to your counter space, close enough to smell the spice of his cologne- “Would almost think you like the attention.”

You swallow hard. Hold your ground, looking up at him through your lashes, bust still on display- “Yeah, and you’d probably like to be the one to give it to me. In your dreams, pal.”

It’s getting harder to play hard-to-get as Eddie bumps his hip against yours. The whites of his eyes are slightly bloodshot (you can smell the heady undercurrent of weed wafting from his clothes), while the black of his pupils are already blown out with feverish lust. “C’mon, have a heart, angel. Can’t fault a boy for dreamin’.”

And goddammit if you don’t melt for that line. (He really is a rather great lyricist, as you’ll come to find out this upcoming semester.)

In retrospect, you’ll never admit it, but you did make the first move- pressed him right up against Linda Satler’s kitchen counter and kissed him, with tongue. Robin walked in on the two of you and got in a full shriek before either of you realized someone else had come in, jumping apart like two children caught arms-deep in a cookie jar.

“God, gross,” she gags, louder than the wave of sound flooding in from the open door. She crosses the room in a few swift strides and plucks at your elbow, a reproachful whisper- “I sent you to get weed, not to make out with the dealer!”

“I am getting weed, Robin,” you insist, patient but firm, pulling from her grasp to turn back to Eddie, teeth worrying at your bottom lip that shimmers with mixed saliva as you ask, sweet and simply- “Can I please have some weed?”

It wasn’t actually your plan to butter Eddie up for a better price (another fact you’d remain stoically opposed to, later), but he gave it to you, all the same- a laughably low amount for a bundle of pre-rolls.

Robin’s eyes bug out at the amount he hands it over- then she smoothly pockets the goods and pats you on the shoulder. “Okay. My mistake. I actually love that you’re both getting acquainted in this manner. You have my blessing to do it a bunch more, just- not when I’m in the room. M’kay?”

She grins cheekily at Eddie before looping her arm in yours, pulling you with her towards the door- you call out before it closes behind you both, “Robin’s number is our landline! You can call me there, if you want!”

Eddie stands still for a few moments after you’re swallowed up by the noise of the party, palm flat to the twinge in his chest. Cupid’s arrow, he can feel it sinking in.

He’s an RA, this semester. Really can’t afford to be seeing cute girls and selling them weed- at least, not at the same time. Gotta straighten up a bit over Spring Break, he thinks.

Then he cracks the window open. Lights up a joint. Smokes out into the fresh night air and tries really hard to think of anything other than your tits. (A game of mostly losses.)

[2jihiir0]

“ going commando under those tight pink jeans.. You really are a slut, uh Stevie?”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Full uncensored version here

[feralsteddie]

obviously we see that eddie is pretty meticulous/clean and a lot of the grungy/gross eddie content is probably based on stereotyping and classism…

however i personally grew up in several trailer parks and think trailer trash douchebag!eddie is so unbelievably hot so keep up the good work guys

[i-killed-a-prostutute]

rodrick heffley walked so Eddie Munson could run

☠️😈🖤🤘🏻🚙🎸🥁⛓️

[hellfireloserclub]

I was a teenage dirtbag | 75k | M

Author : @hellfireloserclub Artist :@academic-clown ( @acaademicqueer if it ever gets un nuked) Beta : @kaypie91

Sorry it's late ! Ao3 was out!

Nothing but love for the wonderful artwork @academic-clown has done for this fic. The detail and the love in this art is wonderful.

And thankyou kaypie for the wonderful beta work.

“So…” Dustin started.

“So what?” Eddie asked, fixing his eyes on the side of Dustin’s face, trying to work out what way this interrogation was going to go.

“I don’t have my own ringtone, Wayne and Mom don’t, but Steve does?” Dustin avoided looking at him, staring at the overhead signs pointing to the short stay parking, acting like they weren’t at the airport at least twice a month with the family coming and going.

“I thought it was funny,” he said in his own defense.

“And I totally believe you.” It sounded like a question.

“But?”

“But are you sure there's not more?” someone shouldn’t look so smug as they reverse in a multi story, yet here was Dustin excelling at it.

When Eddie didn’t answer he cut off the engine turning to look at him, all signs pointed to the next few minutes being incredibly uncomfortable.

“Spit it out, I have to get to the gate,” Eddie grumbled, he felt like he was under a microscope, his little brother's eyes boring into him.

“Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Steve?” Eddie wanted to yell- yes, I just don’t know what? But he bit it down, this wasn’t the time to trigger a Dustin intervention.

“Just because you can't procreate outside of the close knit circles you were dragged up in, doesn’t mean we all have to hook up within our little friend group. You gotta stop trying to pair us all off dude, it's not cool. Remember when you used to keep trying to pair off Steve and Robin? How did that work out for you?” Eddie questioned.

“In my defense-”

“No. Say less. Stop. I broke up with Yumi two weeks ago, I don’t need you to help, I don’t need your psychoanalyzing me with Max over the phone. I don’t need you to try and set me up with a rebound. I’m a big boy alright. I’m going to Boston to get stupidly drunk with Steve, talk shit about you all lovingly, and lament the fact that both me and him are probably gonna die old and alone.” He reached over the back of the seat and grabbed his duffle bag, before reaching over and tapping Dustin on the cheek.

“But look at the plus side, if me and Stevie don’t bring a plus one to the wedding that will save you two meals and a headache with seating plans.”

“You make my resolve to not meddle in both of your love lives impossible, you know that right?” Dustin asked, leaning over the center console.

“Cause you were doing an absolutely stellar job of it before this conversation?” Eddie closed the door behind him. “Dusty, I love you like you’re my own flesh and blood. But please, let this one go?”

Dustin looked poised to say something else but Eddie didn’t have time for it.

“If the words curiosity journey come out of your mouth, I’m not speaking to you for a month.” Dustin snapped his mouth shut, “That’s it, save it for Applejack, I don’t want to know.”

Eddie gave the car a courtesy wave as he went through the doors of the airport, but he didn’t look back.

He was pretty sure Dustin had hit the nail on the head with his observations, but as far as anyone was aware Steve was just his friend, and letting go of any control on that narrative was like letting a fox off in a hen house. It would be chaos.

Although Eddie was starting to think it was a lost cause. This was so much easier when he and Steve hated each other, enemies to fuck buddies was a much easier story arch, with a lot less emotional baggage.

[meltedredweasels]

Steddie as teenage dirtbag by wheatus

[gudfornuthin]

Teenage Dirtbag

Eddie Munson x reader

She’s the most popular girl in school. And he’s just the freak. Maybe people shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

A/N: based off the song narrative of Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus. I really loved writing this, I enjoy creating stories based off of songs. So if anyone has other music you want me to base stories on, don’t hesitate to ask! Feedback is greatly appreciated❤️

The Hellfire Club had ended their campaign earlier than expected. They were pissed, obviously, but the dungeon master had good reason to cut it short. That reason being the cheer squad practicing out on the field at the same time. He wasn’t big on school spirit and didn’t care for any form of sport. But the one thing, or person, Eddie took an interest in was the cheer captain, Y/N.

She wasn’t Eddie’s usual type. Popular, athletic, preppy. Way out of his league, obviously. But the boy couldn’t help the attraction he had towards her. Her eyes, her smile, her laugh. God, it was infectious.

Eddie walks out of the building and makes his way to the field, beelining for the bleachers. He doesn’t want to seem like a creep, but he also has a reputation to uphold. If people found out that the freak was watching cheer practice every week for an hour, he’d never live it down. He leans on his arms, peaking through the gaps and scanning the cheerleaders. He spots her in the middle, stretching her arms and leaning from side to side. She wears white tube socks and bright yellow Keds. Most couldn’t pull that off. But to Eddie, she rocks it. He wants nothing more than to tell her that, but she has no idea who he is.

“So this is why we have to cut Hellfire short?”

Eddie jumps and turns around, the sarcastic question coming from none other than Dustin Henderson. He has a shit-eating grin on his face, pleased with the older boys scared reaction.

“Henderson. You shouldn’t creep up on a guy when he’s-“

“When he’s acting like a perve.”

Eddie rolls his eyes but doesn’t reply. He knows it’s weird for him to do this. But he’d rather admire from afar then be put in his place if he so much as smiles at her. Although, she’s the problem. It’s her dick of a boyfriend. He doesn’t know much about him, only that he plays on the basketball team and lives on his block. Somewhere else he sees her frequently. Driving down the street together in his IROC, her bare legs hanging out the window. Her boyfriend also carries a gun around school. Why, Eddie couldn’t begin to imagine. He definitely doesn’t want to find out.

“You know,” Dustin pipes up, “Y/N isn’t judgemental like her friends. Or boyfriend.” Eddie chooses not to question how he knows she’s the one he’s been looking at. “She’s always been open-minded. Might be willing to get to know Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson. Maybe if you weren’t such a pussy.”

At that, Eddie goes to push the younger boy, but misses, as Dustin runs off snorting. He wishes he could believe those words. That maybe you wouldn’t look at him the way everyone else does. That you’d see past the messy hair, leather jackets and unsavoury music. But he couldn’t. because he was just that. The freak. The weirdo. The dirtbag. He huffs and walks away from the bleachers, feeling down on himself.

---

Why Eddie had agreed to take all the kids to prom, he’ll never know. But as they all pile out of the van, chatting animatedly about decorations and people’s outfits, he sits back with a cigarette in hand. He had nowhere to go, and they’d all be ready to leave in a couple hours, so there was no point leaving to have to drive back.

He waves half-heartedly at them as they walk into the gym and lights up. Eddie closes his eyes and breaths out. He hates to sit and mope, but it’s hard not to knowing everyone else is having fun. While he sits alone, waiting for a bunch of 14-year-olds. What a loser.

No soon after the kids have left, Eddie begins to grow restless. He looks at the doors, seeing the flashing lights and hearing muffled music. It couldn’t hurt to poke his head through and scope the place. No one would see him. He’s never been to the prom before, albeit due to being banned from going every year. But it had never been his seen anyways. Having to get dressed up and listen to some shitty cover band play the same three songs over and over. Eddie preferred staying home and getting high.

Either way, he hits his hands on the steering wheel, and gets out the van, flicking the cigarette butt onto the floor. Making his way into the gym, he immediately spots Dustin, along with Mike and Lucas dancing off to the side. Red faced and laughing, he can’t help but smile, glad they’re having fun. He walks further through, trying not to be seen, but standing out completely. Eddie chooses to stand at the back of the room, alongside other rejects who hope that this will be the year they get asked to dance. He crosses one leg over the other and does the same with his arms. Constantly glancing back and forth, using the time to people watch. Couples dancing. Couples arguing. A kid most definitely spiking the punch. Y/N walking over to him.

Eddie stands up straighter, eyes wide and mouth dry. She was still coming closer, a small smile on her face. This can’t be real. Maybe she’ll take a sudden turn towards the doors, or perhaps she’s going to ask him to leave. She is part of the prom committee, and he’s not exactly welcome. Even so, she continues to walk towards him, until she’s only a few feet away.

“Surprised to see you here.”

Eddie can hardly process what she’s said. “Huh?”

“I didn’t think this was your scene. I hope you’re having a good time though.”

Why is she talking to him? why is she acting as if she knows who he is? Why does she hope he’s having a good time? Those are just a few of the several thoughts running through Eddie’s mind. His lip and hands start to shake, and he’s hyper aware that she’s waiting for him to reply.

“You look really beautiful.”

He cringes. That wasn’t what he meant to say. He truly meant it though. A stunning, purple dress hugs Y/N’s figure, the lace wrapping around her collarbone. Subtle, golden makeup shines under the light. To Eddie, she looks ethereal. He’s smitten, and he’s worried he may have just blown it. Then he hears her laugh.

“You’re too sweet,” the music changes, and ‘Like a Virgin’ begins to play. She reaches out her hand, “come on, I love this song.”

Eddie’s still in shock, as the girl takes his arm and drags him to the centre of the gym, lip syncing along to the lyrics. She takes both his hands in hers and moves them back and forth. Eddie tries to keep his focus on her, not wanting to lose a second of their time together. But he can’t help to look around, nervous and on edge. Y/N leans close so he can hear her.

“He’s not here.” Eddie looks confused. “My boyfriend? We got into a huge fight earlier and he left.”

He’s unsure how to respond. He can tell she’s trying to hide the hurt, a tight-lipped smile and eyes glossy. Her boyfriend’s a dick, sure, but Eddie knows what relationships can do to a person. Though it pains him to think of her having to go through anything like that. Instead, he changes the subject.

“So you like Madonna?”

She shrugs. “Well yeah, everyone does. But I’m more into hardcore stuff,” Eddie holds his breath. “You know, bands like Metallica and Black Sabbath.”

Of course he knew what she meant. But it was still hard to process. The head cheerleader, who wore bright colours and was the embodiment of sunshine and flowers, is a metalhead. He hardly notices the song change once more to a slow melody, as she rests her arms atop his shoulders, and his wrap instinctively around her waist.

“Actually, now that I mention it. Iron Maiden are doing a show this Friday. I’ve got two tickets and no one to go with. I was wondering if you-“

“Yes.”

Y/N is taken aback once more by Eddie’s abrupt response but smiles none the less. He shakes his head, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“I mean,” he clears his throat, “I’ll have to check my schedule because you know, I’m a busy guy,” a complete untruth, “but yeah, that’d be really cool.”

She smiles wider and looks down at Eddie’s lips. She looks into his eyes, asking for permission, to which he nods. The pair lean in, eyes closing.

“Eddie,” she whispers.

“yeah?”

“Eddie, wake up.”

He opens his eyes slightly, seeing you staring back at him.

“What?”

“Eddie, you need to wake up now.”

---

He gasps and sits up straight, finding himself in bed. He looks around and sees his uncle looking over him, dressed in work clothes. “You overslept again. Can’t keep missing school if you wanna finally graduate.” He shakes his head and walks out, leaving Eddie alone, replaying the vivid dream over and over.

--------------------------

[nonbinaryeddiekaspbrak]

[hartnettlover98]

My favorite teenage dirtbags

[stranger-rants]

Billy Hargrove and Ricky Kasso had the same exact birthdate btw, which could mean nothing...

[urhoneycombwitch]

you oughta know

90's grunge college au series, dirtbag!Eddie x artist!Reader

[series masterlist]

welcome to Winnie Mayer College of Arts, green-lush campus folded into the heart of Washington state. comin' up on your junior year, and it's time to get serious about the daunting portfolio assignment for advanced arts. Eddie Munson, with all his black-leather bravado, has the potential to become your biggest muse or biggest mistake.

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

Spring Break: Intro

Summer: All I Really Want, Alanis Morissette coming soon!

Autumn: tbd!

Winter: tbd!

[yourdadsbasement]

it’s hilarious how much of my playlist for Dirtbags is pulled from a different playlist i have called “Eddie Vedder and Guys That Sound Like Eddie Vedder”

[stevesjockstrap]

Eddie month day 3

prompt: school & combative & I went off book and did Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

Halloween had always been his favorite day of the year. He had too-small plastic vampire teeth shoved into his mouth and a cape that was actually a black pillowcase he’d safety-pinned to the shoulders of his black long sleeved shirt. He’d even put eyeliner on and smudged it around his eyes.

“Where are your books?” His teacher exclaimed. “Your pencil? You do know you’re still at school today, Mr. Munson?”

Of course he couldn’t bring his book bag to school today, it would’ve ruined the effect of the cape completely!

“I don’t know why you’re expecting anyone to do any work today! It’s freakin’ Halloween! If you weren’t such a frigid witch maybe you could have a life other than this terrible job!”

“Go to the office,” she droned. He stood, took the write up and waved with a grin as he walked out.

He did an actual double take when he walked into the office. There was no fucking way.

“Hey, nice teeth.” Steve “The Hair” Harrington. In a fucking Dracula cape with a big collar and a puffy shirt with a vest and he even had his usually perfectly coifed hair slicked back. “I couldn’t find any.”

Picking his jaw up off the floor, he said, “Thanks. Uh, nice costume. Didn’t figure you for Halloween fan.”

“Oh, I love it. What’s better than getting to dress however you want and get free candy?”

“I hear ya.” His mind was blown. He set his write up on the desk and Steve looked down at it.

“Ah.” Steve nodded solemnly before looking up at him. “Swearing at Mrs. Parker, huh? I feel that. Deeply.” He seemed impressed. But, hey wait a second-

“I didn’t swear! I specifically made sure! Dammit now I want to go back and really lay into her. If I’m going to get detention for something I’d like to actually do it, you know?”

Steve laughed and nodded at him again. Eddie felt like he was in the twilight zone.

“Well, everyone important is in a meeting for who knows how long. So you’re welcome to hang out. Or take your chances in the halls.”

Eddie shrugged and gracelessly dropped into a chair against the wall. He attempted to discretely (not very discretely) watch Steve as he moved around the office making copies and filing papers.

But he was still bored. He started humming to himself, drumming on his knee.

“Is that Iron Maiden?”

He almost fell out of his chair. “You know Iron Maiden?” And well enough to place it from him humming it across the room?

“Sure?” He seemed miffed that he’d assume otherwise.

“Who are you?”

'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me, ooh

Steve grinned at him. “Not what you’ve assumed, apparently. Hi, I’m Steve. It’s good to meet you.”

Eddie tripped on his way back over to the counter to shake the hand he’d offered.

“Eddie. Good to finally meet you too.”

I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you.

@eddiemonth

(I don’t know if your school had student office workers but mine did and they were always the preppy kids who got picked for it. Definitely a Steve job.)

[mossiagocheese]

Can't sleep, drawing boys about it

[hellfireloserclub]

Part 8 of my @steddiebang2024 and the last chapter are up. Thanks again to the wonderful @aamputation for the amazing art the kind words and this amazing header image.

“Go get ready. Who do you want me to send up while I sort stuff out? Will? Lucas? Want me to see if Mike has any last minute words of idiocy to share with you as you try and remember how to fasten a bow tie?” Eddie asked. Dustin scoffed at that, but it at least took a little of the worry from his face. “Will, for now anyway. Then can you send Steve?” “Of course man, I'm not sure where he is right now…” “That's a lie.” Dustin said with a smirk. “Okay, you're right he's with Robin, debriefing. But that's a story for another day when you don't have a wedding to be getting ready for.” “What's he got to debrief Eddie?” Dustin asked, temporarily distracted from his wedding turmoil. “Don't act dumb now when we both know you aren't.” “Did you and Steve finally get on the same page?” Dustin smirked as he nudged Eddie in the side. “No, you're not getting an ‘I told you so’ right now. Right now, you're going to go have a shave, get in that hideous suit of yours, and I'll send Steve up to sort out the sheep on your head as soon as I see him. Now go. I've got a runner to get delivered, button holes to sort out and nerd wrangling to do. And I haven't even had a coffee yet.” Eddie said exasperated. He really did need that cup of coffee.