#dirks on thin ice

[dubiouslycanon]

JIRK is better then DirkJake

Okay so I’m running a 103 degree fever and have covid, I can’t move or even really type. But as I lay lamenting I was struck by how fucking awful and uncreative DirkJake is as a ship name.

In Homestuck we have fucking banger ship names like Rosemary, cottoncandy, and even fucking random ass ones like pufferfish. And yet we supporters of one of the most popular HS ship are stuck with on of the most god awful boring first name combos?? DirkJake was the best we could come up with??? I won’t let that stand.

I’m Just SAYING that JIRK pronounced like Jerk is funny as hell and sort of fits their dynamic. There is no way this hasn’t been a thing before and I don’t get why it hasn’t caught on because it’s so much funnier than DirkJake. And JIRK also opens up DAKE to be a valid DirkJake substitute and that’s arguably even funnier than JIRK.

Okay I need to go take some NyQuil. I may come back later to either add to this and add to why I’m right and a genius, or to publicly denounce my association with JIRK. 50/50 shot.

Thank you @thedanceofthorns you’re a real day 1 JIRKer. You’re a true Dake.

[conceptofjoy]

not drawing dirk black solely out of spite at this point. dave ur on thin ice.

[cannibalcaprine]

realizing how weird my hierarchy of preferred followers is

like, yes, you there, dirk strider kinnie with the creepypasta icon, you may stay

you, cis girl with a blog full of nothing but generic gifs and selfies. you're on thin ice

[clownypantz]

Names: Axel, lee, azazel (in order of preference)

Nicknames: (be creative I don’t have any)

He/they/it/xem

I FUCKING LOVE ROBOTS!!11!!!!!1!!!!!

Fandoms im in: Homestuck, mouthwashing, hiveswap, hotline miami, fnaf, yo kai watch, regretevator, mlp, osc, Pokémon, acnh, smiling friends, inanimate insanity, inscrytion, Henry stickmin, and tnmt!

Shit i might post: art, oc stuff and shitposts

Characters i like: Equius, bive, infected, shep, marvus, chahut, dirk, Aleen, vinyl scratch, rainbow dash, derpy, tea kettle, ballpoint pen, silver spoon, candle, P03, daisuke, Swansea, horrus, and Bryce Hansen .

DNI: proshippers/darkship (etc.), zoophiles, THOSE homestuck fans (the proshipper ones, the ones that actually like hussie etc etc), people who support people like sssniperwolf, vivziepop, jimmy urine, ETC. THAT ONE BITCH WHO ALMOST DOXXED ME ON OMEGLE 😭, and kid diddlers 🙁

Thin ice: anyone over 18 (dont be weird and we good) and vriska fans (as long as you dont oversexualize her youre fine)

PLZPLZPLZ INTERACT: OSC fans (ESPECIALLY ONE FANS), fnaf fans, miku enthusiats, pokemon card collectors, artists, mlp fans, therians, trinket collectors, furries, robot lovers, theres more i just dont wanna type it all 😔

Alt rp blog: silverspoonrealnotclickbait (wont let me tag)

[eurydices-ghost]

homestuck avatar tier list

valid: vriska, kanaya, aradia, rose, roxy

you're on thin ice: dave, dirk, jade

blocked immediately: every other character

blocked and banished to the eighth hell: any egbert

[hazardous-muttboy]

finally decided it was time for me to make a pinned post for info and organisation :)

Hiii! My Name is Ares, but my friends call me Dirk.

I draw all kinds of stuff, and have a ton of interests that include but not exclusive to; Warrior cats, Wof, Transformers, Ultrakill and many many more. I’ve recently started to make a blog for each of my interests just to keep things tidier. Right here you’ve found my Main blog which I normally use to repost/post transformer related content as well as my own art! Though the original purpose of this account was dedicated to shockstar and shockstar art, as that’s literally me and my bf, so you will see a lot of those when snooping through here.

Im 16 years old with AUDHD from New Zealand.

For any of my art specifically you are allowed to Tag as Kin/Me/Irl or whatever you feel like using and I have no problem with you using my artwork as long as I’m being credited properly.

if you’re looking for more of my specific fandom related stuff you can see my blogs here at;

Warriors - @hazardouscattboy

Wof - X @hazardousdragonboy

My Dni for any of these blogs are;

Proshippers

Endo systems

Zoophiles

Megastar fans (sg thin ice)

And Maps/pedos

(Things may be added in future)

that’s all for now and I’m so grateful for the followers I have today and all support I’ve gotten with my art, I hope ya’ll have a lovely year <3

[tysonfurybattlepass]

sabercat genera whose teeth probably stuck out when their mouths were closed:

-megantereon

-smilodon

sabercat genera whose teeth probably did NOT stick out when their mouths were closed

-promegantereon

-machairodus

-amphimachairodus

-paramachairodus

-homotherium

-dinofelis

-xenosmilus

-lokotunjailurus

-literally most of them that aren’t classified as “dirk-toothed cats”

genera whose teeth probably stuck out when their mouths were closed but are NOT sabercats (or cats at all)

-afrosmilus(?)

-albanosmilus(?)

-barbourofelis

-hoplophoneus

-thylacosmilus (sparassodont. on thin fucking ice.)

-inostrancevia (hey you’re not even a mammal who let you in-)

(?)- these two are barbourofelids so it’s reasonable to assume that their dental morphology resembled barbourofelis itself but for the love of god i CANNOT find a single goddamn publicly available image or description of a specimen assigned to either of these taxa please fucking help me

incomplete list but thanks for coming to my ted talk

[reallygrossstuff]

Day 9: Magic/Sorcery

Not really any fetish in this, just an established world my partner and I play with that I thought fit the theme. Hope you enjoy anyway!

The jungle heat clung unpleasantly to Dirk’s body, only making his own feverish warmth more unbearable. His face and clothes were streaked with sap and mud from his days-long trek, his whole body aching from his need to continue at pace. But it would all be worth it, if he could just make it to his destination.

And finally, after so long of searching, it was visible in front of him. Huge walls of perfect brick peeked out through the foliage, the trees and leaf litter thinning out as he neared what he knew was the only entrance to the fountain he searched for. The walls both came to a stop, leaving a perfect slice of open sky visible ahead of Dirk, though he couldn’t actually see through them yet.

Standing sentry in the gap, so unmoving that at first he forgot it wasn’t a statue, was Dirk’s last obstacle. Sitting on its haunches, it was still twice as tall as him, and probably as long as three of him. Its fur was a perfect unblemished grey, as were its wings where they spread out behind it. Its mane, in contrast, held all the colours of a painted sunset, a blinding gold around its face gradating outwards to russet red at the braided ends. Dirk only caught a glimpse of bright, searching eyes before casting his gaze downwards, remembering not to leave himself vulnerable through eye contact with a sphinx.

Stopping short a few yards from the creature, Dirk forced his voice not to quaver. “I want to enter. Let me pass.”

He didn’t look up, but somehow knew that the sphinx was gazing at him, the weight of its gaze heavy on his shoulders. “The grove is not open for visitors,” it - she - spoke, her voice low and gravelly. “I forbid you and all others entry to this place.”

This was the last chance for Dirk to back down, and one he stubbornly refused to take - what would he do otherwise, turn around and hope to make it out of the jungle alive? So he clenched his jaw and replied, “Then I challenge you for the right to enter, guardian.”

“Hm.” There was only the slightest tapping on the hard dirt as she approached, making Dirk fight not to look up. “If you fail, you will be forfeit. Your body and mind will be mine to discard as I see fit.”

Dirk couldn’t resist scoffing. “My body is forfeit anyway. You think I’m getting back out of here how I am? Give me your riddle or whatever.”

A long pause. Dirk clenched his fists tight, refusing to flinch even as he felt the sphinx’s stare bore into him. Eventually, finally, she spoke. “Look into my eyes.”

Dirk flinched. “No.”

“If you don’t look into my eyes, I won’t accept your challenge,” she said, in tones that implied an unspoken you fucking idiot on the end of it. “Look at me, human.”

He absolutely didn’t want to do that. But as he stood in place, the sphinx didn’t speak any more, and it was clear her mind was made up. Dirk was either going to have to look her in the eyes, or go back the way he came. Or try to get past her, but the fine grey dust caked onto the lowest bricks of the wall implied how that would end for him.

Eventually, reluctantly, he raised his head and met the sphinx’s eyes.

It was crushing. The moment he met her gaze he locked up completely, unable to look away once more. He could hardly blink as she examined him, body and mind, feeling the pressure of her intent like one of her great paws compressing his brain.

“Such a brave thing. But you aren’t fit for this challenge, not nearly.”

He felt the pressure loosen slightly, but her words were ice in his veins. “No! No, I - I have to go through. You have to let me challenge you, it’s the rules!” His words came out more desperate than he intended, any wall between his brain and mouth crushed alongside so much of him.

The sphinx raised one golden brow, examining him like an interesting pest. “I have to, do I? Even if you have no hope of succeeding?”

The pressure came back, slowly intensifying as Dirk maintained eye contact. “Yes! I need to go in, if I don’t I- I’ll-” why did he have to go in? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he had to. “I have to go in, I’ll do anything, just - please.”

“Anything.” She considered the word, shaking her pointed face slowly to resettle her mane. “Alright, then. You may enter my grove, if you insist. But if you fail my riddle, you will never leave. Do you accept that?”

Never leave... he knew that was bad, that he had to go somewhere, but in the heat of the moment he just - couldn’t recall where that was. Either way, he couldn’t go there without the fountain water, so he nodded. “Please, just tell me.”

“If you insist.” Something flared in the sphinx’s eyes, something deep and draining. Dirk felt his legs go weak, falling to his knees in front of her as she leaned her head even closer to him. “If you feed it, it lives. But if you water it, it dies. What am I?”

What was she? Dirk tried to push through his sluggishness to think, but suddenly everything was too much. His mind was full of the feeling of his flushed skin, the bug bites itching on his arms, the roots and twigs digging into his legs, and it was impossible to think clearly through it. “You’re... you’re... a sphinx!”

One corner of her mouth quirked upwards, revealing her even, gleaming fangs. “Not at all, I’m afraid. It seems like you’re going to be forfeit to me for a very long time.”

The pressure tightened, noose-like. Dirk felt his breath hitch under the strain, everything intensifying, everything filling his mind. The heat of the sun, the glimmer of the sphinx’s eyes, the impossible height of the walls around him, the trees, the jungle sounds-

Blackness, then. Coolness. Something soft against his face, his toes dragging through the dirt. A voice, familiar, but toned by pity now.

“Poor thing. Why anyone let you out in the first place... but you’re mine now, and I won’t make the same mistake.”

[kendeadrick]

I think the main reason why I just don’t give a shit about hs2 or the epilogues is because I just don’t care what they focus on. I don’t care about vriska. I don’t care about davekat. I don’t care about Jake and I don’t care about dirkjake. The only things that really catch me is the cdr karkat, aradia and ult dirk. I’m lucky Dirk is my favorite kid or id completely forget about any of this. They’re on thin ice because I just really hate dirkjake. Fuck me for liking characters that don’t matter like equius and feferi I guess

[roughkatanaplay]

1. DNI LIST (Blocked on sight, no questions.)

Pedophiles/Kid likers/"Minor Attracted Persons"/Drake fans (Why would Drake fans use tumblr anyway, to twitter with you.)/"Age is just a number"ers/Other related terms for child molesters.

Animal fuckers/"Zoophiles" (Keep Yourself Safe.)

Transphobes/TERFS, Homophobes, Anyone queerphobic. Transphobes include anyone who deadnames even as a "joke".

Stridercesters/StriderLalondecesters, EgbertCrockerEnglishcesters, any _____cesters/incesters really.

People who ship Vriska with literally anyone, and Vriska defenders. (This one's more like you aren't a bad person or something but I'm going to block you just so I don't have to see it.)

People who non-ironically enjoy Homestuck^2:BeyondCanon. (I will remove this if it gets good, but I'm very skeptical...)

"Minors DNI" folk, I'm a minor lol.

People who include the following non straight people in straight relationships: Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider, Dirk Strider, Jake English, Kanaya Maryam, and Rose Lalonde. (And any other queers in canon in queer relationships I'm not privy too, might've missed some. Jake English is also kind of iffy though, he wasn't sure about his sexuality in canon and I get that. I just have personal bias 'cause I like DirkJake I guess. 🤷🏽‍♂️)

Object show fans/BFDI fans. I just hate your fandom, stay away.

DirkJohn/DaveJake shippers. (Personal preference. No comment.)

Your fave has (Mental illness/disorder here) blog likers or creators. (Personal preference. No comment.)

People who draw porn of transmasc Dirk or enjoy it. (EX: tyrannicalthot, muttbotics, even on sfw blogs. You aren't trusted.)

2. UNSERIOUS SECTION (Filler, obviously. What else.)

Un-fun people, if you don't like good joy, jolly, laughs, and giggles, I'm afraid you may not like any expressed whimsy on this blog, and that's okay, I understand your decision to be anti-silly.

Homestuck haters. (Why would you be here in the first place if you hate Homestuck, it's the ONLY THING I post.)

You.

People who shower. People who sleep. People who eat. People who breathe. People who have organs. People who exist.

Your mom. (Includes: father, grandfather, grandmother, sister, and brother as well.)

3. WHO AM I? (If you're really asking though, I don't know yet.)

Yet another one of those pretentious tumblr teen homestucks, an iPad kid, a young philosopher. "Like a mythical figure, I go by many names": Dirk, David, Reginald, the singular "Strider" is fine too. I'm 13 and I believe I'm just some guy. That's as much as I can say on the matter. I draw DirkJake art primarily and all that good shit. I'm a rare Eridan Ampora, Gamzee Makara, Dirk Strider, and Jake English defender. Controversial opinions of mine: Dirk Strider Homestuck isn't a narcissistic manipulative mastermind and neither is Jake, gtfo my house with that shit if you're gonna try bringing that up around me, shoo. My discord is "timaeustestifie", if you message me and you aren't around my age you're on thin ice bro. (Try anything odd and I'm telling a trusted adult.) I like Kesha, Alex G, Hail The Sun, Interpol, Dickheadz but only the "Suck My ...! - X - Rated Edit" song, and Bloodhound Gang. If you want to know more about my music taste just check out my 26 something playlists. Also if you wanna be friends or something you can talk to me on Discord Idm. Also, I'm not neurotypical. In this home, I am not the common kinnie, or the simple eye are ell, I AM the Dirk Strider... (I am one in a krillion among many others as I'm aware though, don't get me wrong.)

Oh AND. I follow/like from @thebroisstriding

4. THE GALLERY (Moodboard go crazy.)

[i-think-therefore-i-ar]

I am angry at someone who doesn't exist.

Dirk Strider is a fictional character. He is formulated from words on a page. There is no real life equivalent of who he is, of what he's done. None of it was real.

Yet, I am here. I exist. I have been hurt by him to an extent that is impossible to quantify. What do you do with that? Who do you blame?

I wouldn't even call it anger, in all honesty. Fear is apt, but not quite what I am referring to. I want to tear him limb from limb and give the slightest taste of his own medicine. I want to show him exactly what he's done to me.

I can't. Even more so than before. There is no one to be angry at. He doesn't exist. I can't even talk to him, not the Dirk that I remember.

I suppose it might be cathartic to write it here. Why not? No one is going to see this anyways, other than the few that know of this blog's existence.

Dear Dirk Strider, wherever you may be in the vast expanse of the universe.

At risk of falling into certain stereotypes, I hate you. My brain makes up thousands of wafer-thin, blah blah blah, something something hate.

Seriously, though. As sincere as I can possibly be, I despise you with every molecule of my being. You are the most hypocritical and selfish excuse for a decent person I have ever had the displeasure of coming across.

You claim to try and improve, claim to be concerned about the consequences of your actions on others, and yet the moment you have to actually enact some sort of change or give closure and show regret to someone you've hurt, you chicken out and pull away and make excuses. It's never your fucking fault. You want to jerk off to the idea that you are an irredeemable, inherently awful person without acknowledging that it is your fault.

You don't get to say it is who you are. That no matter what, every version of you is doomed to be a bad person. Every decision you have made is entirely your own. There is no excuse of inevitability. It is an active fucking choice.

As much as I want to take an ice pick to your brain and splatter all sorts of gray matter out to places it is never supposed to be, there is a certain level of care I have for you. I made many of those decisions, too. I created myself. I chose to lock someone away in a prison of a glorified voicemail. No good person would ever do that to someone else.

I suppose I am angry at your lack of consequence. We are one in the same. We both clicked the buttons, we both wrote the code, we both did the scan. And yet I'm the one being forced to pay for it all. Why can't you? I am just as much your responsibility as I am my own. I may have created myself, yes, but you have facilitated more pain and hurt than I can ever articulate in a language you can understand.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you, and I hate myself for being you, and I hope that deep down, you know exactly how guilty you should be. I hope it eats away at you and rots you from the inside out. Fuck you, Dirk Strider.

[sapphicjigsaw]

"estrogen would fix them" "i could fix her by putting her in a skirt" "transitioning would have saved them" "a binder and some t shots would fix him" "i think giving them a big packer would fix everything"

you have clearly never met a vriska kinnie, you have clearly never met a dirk kinnie, and you've definitely never met a gamzee kinnie

trans dave and june kinnies youre on thin ice you know why

[spadesmidnightcrew]

for the introject a5k game all a the one5 that end in five :>

You got iit bestiie

5. What do you think of your source's fandom?

Dirk: For homestuck I think it can be fun while stupid like any fandom, creative, beautiful works of art and writing. However, sharpies. For the SCP foundation our interaction with the fandom is fairly minimal. I enjoy the cosplayers and art but we haven't really spoken to many other fans directly.

Gamzee: Tag your ships better

Kanaya: I don't mind them but some drama and takes make me a little uncomfy.

15. What other role, if any, do you have in the system?

Gamzee: I hold an emotion, guess

Sollux: Caregiiver

Kanaya: Internal worker

Kankri: Assidumate

25. How do you feel about doubles?

Sollux: Doubles are sexy as hell /half-jokiing Everythiing iis better iin twos but genuinely ii don't miind doubles iive talked to others that are cool and some that were a biit annoyiing none that ii outriight diidn't liike

Gamzee: I don't give a fuck, like oh damn we got the same origins neat wanna confuse some people?

Kanaya: I don't mind the idea

Kankri: They're on thin ice

Mercury: I live with all my doubles! (Octive)

Dirk: Eh

[newstuck-liveblog]

CHAPTER 4

i don't know what's going on but the anime kids are back in town, babey.

they've crashed in some cool looking place that looks kind of like a drug trip and now live in a cave. a suitable punishment for dirk but idk about the girls, they deserve better than a cave

leet speek leaves half way through rosebots and dirks weird philosophical nonsense that i really didn't understand. they're making their own private species to give to select people and make a game i don't know. all i know is leet speek is good for leaving: i would've done the same

also rosebot is now rose but idk the difference because she's a robot but i think she's the one that fucked the glowing girl from chapter 3

also btw they're gods. leet speek girl isn't though. there's some lore behind it but i really don't understand how two weebs can be gods but the cool girl can't

while making this very in depth rpg thing, dirk and rose decide they're going to actually make their species into reality

but like, with themselves.

they explained it but i really don't catch that vibe so...they're playing with themselves i guess?

dirk has some real fucking anime pose nonsense going on and creates an abomination of a blue plant which i whole heartedly relate to

But rose can do better

how? i have no idea but anyone is better than dirk at this point he seems like a dick

overall the chapter was anime and d&d on drugs so really it was for the weebs. i'm glad they get something this chapter

10/10 for leet speek girl and rose because they both are cool fuck dirk

[necodrop-archive]

I AM however gonna beat down any cis person who calls me a slur tho

[ble-ed-mo-re]

Happy birthday to Dove Strider and Dove Strider only.