#dinosaurs are so fucking cool man

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[nomaishuttle]

one thing abt my family is we ARE going to pretend my papaw is an ancient proto-human man whos been alive since the big bang even tho hes objectively not old. Hes like 60

[sunburnbabey]

imagine being a velociraptor out nd about and u come across a MEAN canyon. How stoked would u be

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Of claws and waffles

I'm preparing to write the rest of the Steddie Angsty August during my vacation at the end of September, I want to enjoy the rest of the prompts and not be stressed. But in the meantime...have Steve cosplaying as Wolverine, a very judgmental Deadpool Eddie, and maybe a small X-23 too?

"Ugh, can you believe that?" Eddie gestured towards a guy in his mid-thirties dressed as the Wolverine. "Another jock jumping on the bandwagon without knowing anything about the comics. Saw it once in the movie theater, thought the costume would do wonders for his arms, bought it on ebay. I'm gonna be sick in my mask."

Even through the limited visibility of his Deadpool mask, Eddie saw Chrissy roll her eyes at his theatrics. "Go ahead. At least you'll wash it after the convention. By hand, because as you told me, the fabric is sensitive."

He just grumbled. She was right, as usual.

"You are so full of self-righteous fury, Eddie, but even through the mask, I can see you staring at that man's ass. And shoulders. And everything."

He threw his head back, almost howling. "Now you're just being mean."

"Plus," she continued, disregarding her best friend's whining, "You're not exactly being fair. You don't know him."

Now he rolled his eyes, but of course she couldn't see him. "I know his type. He's the high school sweetheart who spent most of his time in the gym or practicing moving his godly body or something."

 Chrissy smiled at him, that overly beaing smile that told him in an instant that he'd said something stupid. "Ah. So like me."

"I..." he gulped, "I think I'm just going to shut up now."

He tried looking around for something, anything to redirect the conversation. Suddenly, a perfect topic changer appeared in his sight. "Okay, but that's the cutest thing I've ever seen," he nudged Chrissy and pointed at the scrawny girl, twelve or so, dressed up as X-23. "Her parents must be amazing."

Chrissy's laughter rang in his ears. "Oh, I agree," she said. As if she knew something he didn't.

He choked on his words when the girl ran back to THAT Wolverine and took his hand. "Oh for fuck's sake."

"You said it," she nudged him. "Amazing parents."

As if that wasn't humiliating enough, before Eddie could find a shovel to dig a hole to disappear into, the girl noticed him and her face split in a wide smile. "Dad! Dad, look! Mr. Pool!" She started leading him to Eddie and Chrissy through the crowd.

Oh cool. If only Eddie could do something dignified to avoid the meeting, like faint or vomit, that would be awesome. But he couldn't disappoint the girl. She had a look of absolute joy in her eyes, and he'd be damned if he was the one to make it disappear.

So instead, he leaned into the character.

"Look at you, aren't you the cutest little clawed thing I've ever seen!" he announced to the whole world. "The deadliest tiny creature, very ferocious! Yes, you are!"

He knelt down to her level and even through the consistent noise of the convention, he could hear her giggling. "I am!"

"Come on, tiny terror. Give me your best Wolverine-y growl!"

To his delight, she crouched, imitated the battle pose of X-23 and roared at him like a dinosaur. Then, in a more quiet tone, "Was that good?"

"Good?! Only good?! Do you hear her, bub?" he addressed the Wolverine who hovered over both of them. "You, little lady, were absolutely amazing! 10/10, no notes, this is your calling in life."

He felt someone move behind his back, and of course it was the traitor, ahem, Chrissy, approaching them with a camera. "I'm sorry to disturb you guys, but you make such an amazing group. Can I take your picture?"

And okay, maybe Eddie misjudged the Jockerine, because the guy ruffled X-23's hair and told her, "OK, just this once, you can say it. Swearing permitted. Ready?"

They pulled Eddie to them, and as he unsheathed his katana replicas, the Wolverine and his daughter crouched, roared at the camera, and said together, "Let's fucking go."

Eddie's traitorous mouth said exactly what he was thinking. "Oh my god. Are you single?" Which was objectively a stupid thing to say even to someone he'd met longer than two minutes ago.

The Wolverine blinked at him.

X-23 giggled and said: "dad is single. Maybe he doesn't have to be now?"

To the guy's credit, he didn't seem offended. He just laughed and ran his hand through his absolutely majestic hair that was perfectly stylized into Wolverine's. Shit. The hair. First the body, the face, and now the hair. "Now, El. Mr. Pool here probably doesn't want to be matched with the first Wolverine he sees."

And maybe it was the costume that made him so brave, but the guy was hot, nice, and his daughter was adorable, so Eddie wasn't to be blamed for what he said next, okay? "Uh, actually," he raised his hands, "you're perhaps my tenth Wolvie or so. And clearly the superior one. Having this absolutely adorable - and terrifying! - young lady by your side is also a plus. So...and feel free to stab me, or maybe just tell me no, but - I saw a really nice waffle stand outside. Let me treat you and...El?" The girl nodded, beaming at him. "...to a waffle? Or coffee, water, your choice."

El tugged at the guy's arm again. "Waffle!" she whispered so loud even Chrissy heard it.

He smiled at Eddie, and fuck. Eddie was a goner. "I think that's a yes."

...

Chrissy had ditched them to go hang out with her girlfriend, so Steve, Eddie and El were on their own.

They were sitting outside, Eddie slurping his bubble tea through a straw, mask still in place except for the bottom of his face, Steve - as the guy had introduced himself - sipping his coffee and diligently watching El chatting with other kids, nibbling on her waffles.

"So, is this your first convention?" Eddie asked. "Your kid is amazing, man. She's so happy to be here and she makes an amazing X-23."

Steve smiled and peeled his eyes from El for a second. "Yeah. I promised to take her this year, but after she saw Logan and the third Deadpool movie, she begged to go in a costume. And I just couldn't say no to her."

"She saw..." Eddie coughed. "Steve, sorry to question your parenting, but isn't she a bit too young for those movies?"

"Oh, she is," Steve snorted. "And she shouldn't have seen them. But we live alone, so I usually watch movies at home when she goes to sleep. If she goes to sleep. As she should."

"Are you telling me-"

Steve nodded. "Yep. She's incredibly sneaky. I found out the hard way when I finished the latest Alien and went to check on her in her bed. She wasn't there. I almost had a heart attack, turned the house upside down. I was about to call the police when she peeked at me from behind a curtain that I checked at least twice, and she was asking me if I was mad at her. So...uh. We discussed quite a lot from those movies afterwards, but there's no stopping her if she wants to do something."

Eddie laughed so hard he almost breathed in a tapioca pearl. "Oh wow. But good parenting! Not that I'm one to judge."

Watching El share waffles with her new friends, Steve pressed his lips together. "Yeah, I don't know about that. I'm just doing my best here, but I'm constantly terrified I'm doing something wrong. I adopted her, you know. From...a very bad situation. She couldn't properly talk or anything. So when she saw X-23 on screen, I think she related to her somehow. I've never seen her so excited about anything, so the costume was a must have. She's looking forward to going next year as well, when her hair finally grows long enough. Wig," he added at Eddie's confused silence.

"I mean, I get that," said Eddie as he set down his empty cup. "Cosplaying can be therapeutic. It's actually what my therapist suggested when I got...uh. Injured. And also how I got into cosplaying Deadpool."

"Injured?" Steve didn't sound judgmental, only curious, but Eddie had been in this situation before. Time to rip of the bandaid. He pulled off his mask and forced himself to meet Steve's eyes. "Uh. Yeah. Injured."

He knew he wasn't Deadpool kind of disfigured, but he was well used to the stares in his daily life. He kept the hair, which, hooray, good for him. But he had ugly bite scars on his neck and jawline, some going even to his cheeks. A chunk of his ear was missing too. "It was a dog when I was a kid," he said so that Steve wouldn't have to ask. "Plastic surgery is an option, they say, but it's expensive. And I don't really feel like having my face cut open again, so...yeah." 

"Wow. I'm sorry."

Eddie took a deep breath. "Well, yeah. Not great. Listen, Steve. I'm super confident behind the mask, and thank you for humoring me. But this," he pointed to his face, "is usually a deal-breaker for people. So if it is for you, that's fine."

"It's not."

Eddie blinked. Then again. That wasn't how it had usually gone. "Huh?"

"I mean," said Steve, and shit, he laid his hand on Eddie's knee, when was this his life? What was happening? "I'm sorry it happened to you, but I don't get why it should matter."

"Uuuuh...because you're like, super hot? And you might want someone like that next to you?"

Steve snorted. "Bold of you to assume I don't have my own gnarly scars. I was just more lucky in their placement." When Eddie stared at him, he added: "I'm a paramedic. It happens. I rarely have time for anything, not to mention dating, but when I see a cool and funny guy give my daughter the ultimate Deadpool experience - by the way, waffles are her favorite food - and then he asks me out for a coffee? Hell. I'd be stupid to refuse."

Oh. Eddie suddenly felt a bit like crying. He forced himself to speak up, to have that final confirmation. "So, uh...this," he pointed at his face, "isn't a problem?"

"Nope. And, if you'd like a sort of quote from the first Deadpool movie with that..." Steve laughed, and Eddie knew what was coming even before he said it, "After some talking and getting to know each other...it's a face I'd be happy to sit on."

Eddie grasped at his chest. "Oh wow. You truly know the way to a man's heart."

He laughed and winked at Eddie. "This is the part when you ask for my number."

Eddie had never pulled out his phone faster in his life.

..

Much later, after Eddie showed El around the convention, after many pictures and wonderful memories, Eddie ran into Chrissy again. He was about to introduce her to Steve and El properly, but Chrissy smiled at him - once again that all knowing smile, why?! - and waved at her girlfriend.

"So, Eddie. I see you've met Robin's best friend, Steve."

Robin snickered and pressed a quick kiss against Chrissy's temple. "See? I told you they'd be a great match."

And, before Steve or Eddie could say anything, Chrissy picked up her camera and captured their disbelieving faces. They would keep the picture forever - Steve's mouth hanging comically open, Eddie just staring blankly into the camera, and El happily chewing on the last bite of her waffle.

[amoeganism]

HIIII I just saw your post about your event and thought I'll be silly and request smthing ^_^ ok sooo first time meeting ness ! 😯 (one shot or hc whichever you feel more comfy writing! <3) have a great dayyy (⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠) ♪

ACADEMICALLY SMART BUT EXTREMELY STUPID alexis ness

aka. how u meet ness aka academic rivals to lovers but ness dont gaf bc hes just trying to #play #ball

you meet him at quite a young age and share a few things in common

ill fitting school uniforms and the wandering eyes of any child

while you find yourself fascinated by the numbers written on your teacher's chalkboard, ness is folding dinosaurs and stars on pieces of scrap paper, mumbling to himself

you didn't mind him and he didn't mind you

you guys were classmates and that was that

but then middle school came around and you started acting like you had a stick up your ass 24/7 as long as ness was around

like wtf that mf almost never studies why is he at the top of your class...

suddenly you get distracted in classes because you're focused on drawing mini ness figures with fat x's covering his face and devil horns

ness sees this one day after your notebook fell to the ground and at first is like omg!!! cute drawing of me as a fantasy creature but then he was like wait what the fuck why do they have it out for me????

he barely thought about you until then but apparently you've developed a passionate hatred for him just because he scores higher grades

he still has no clue

you are FUMING

so you start studying even more if that's even possible

while you go to your schools library to bust your ass in the textbooks ness goes outside with a ball he managed to shove into his bag and starts kicking it around

ness: :D ball!!!! no school!!! ball :D

you: KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF

after one particularly hard test that you flopped (it was like an 80% be serious) you caved in and asked ness with help studying

he looked at the material and was like man idk it just makes sense

little boy thought you were going to punt him into hell like he does with his football

him, terrified out of his mind and just wanting to go to his football club meeting, sits down and looks at the material

you show him your notes and he quickly explains it but is running late on time

he gives you his number and says hes going to text you help

you went home that day like ???? that dude lied to me he isnt sending me shit ??? before it clicked

he does not text you because he does not have your number... he gave you his number...

so you swallow your pride and shoot him a message, begging for help a second time in the same day and on his end, he laughs at you a little but offers to call

you guys work on the subject for a good couple hours and before you hang up, you offer to study together for future exams because he's admittedly a good teacher

ness is trying to find a way to say "no thanks i don't care about school good luck tho XD ROFL LOLLLLL" but then he realizes that it's going to make his parents trust him a little more

he accepts and you guys go to the library together once a week

he finds that you're actually kind of funny and cool and not just a human bomb that's plotting his death

he tries to be slick about offering to meet more often

"oh... this unit is a lot more difficult than the last one.... you wanna heh.... come back tomorrow? *gulp*"

"ok"

"WOOOO"

one day ness told you he was going to try out for bastard munchen and you somewhat knew of them because of ness going on tangents about football

you supported him on it, not realizing it would cut down your weekly meetings

suddenly there was an alexis-shaped-hole in your chest but you didn't want to admit it to him

and for alexis, there was a you-shaped-hole in his chest that he tried to fill by training with kaiser and the rest of bastard munchen

yes, the team was filled with dicks, but none of them had the same foul personality you had!!

texts dvery day checking up on each other but it was nothing like hanging out in person

calls were better but still not the same

as soon as he heard about his first off day, he called you and asked to hang out

you tried to be nonchalant about it but who were you kidding both of you guys wanted to see each other again

although the directions of life the two of you were headed towards were almost polar opposites, being reunited at a stupid library table for the first time in months was all that mattered

[ysp4r4lys1s]

SOME TRANSMASC TOBY HEADCANONS and a little bit of ticcijacks

cr: yasmimkilleruwu (tumblr)

TW/CW : dysphoria, selfharm, homophobia (just mentioning)

- i think that Toby had really big troubles about his thoughts like "oh fuck i guess im not enough masculine" and so on

- thats why he still slouches and cant stop wearing baggy clothes even if its summer and really hot

- EJ helps him to understand that it is okay to not be a "fully-human" and thats his own cool feature

- EJ likes scars on Toby's chest and every evening when they cuddling EJ asks Toby for permission to touch them

- he thinks that this is cool (and he is also just intrested in it)

- Toby have more scars . (poor baby boy)

- and he struggles with thoughts that he hadn't got this boyish childhood so he acts like a kid when he see something with dinosaurs sharks and silly toys "for boys"

- btw he have a big collection with comics and figurines (idk how to say it correctly im talking about smth like funko pop and other thing like with anime characters etc)

- he really proude of this

- after coming-out EJ started to use more pet names like "my boy/man" "handsome"

- and also when EJ telling about Toby smth he always make an accent on "my _boyfriend_" and he also likes to name Toby his husband as a joke (bc they arent ready for marrige)

- i SWEAR that Toby comes to EJ for some comfort even if EJ can just pat his head and say that he loves him

- but thats not a prob for Toby this is enough

- Toby loves to research some info about trans characters in media and about some queer celebrities bc he feel himself not alone in this big homophobic world

- and he also makes headcanons on his fav characters as transmasc persons bc it kind of representation for himself

- he made a path on his hoodie with his flag and rlly proud of this

[izzy-fishy]

IT HAPPENED

OML IT HAPPENED

IM SORRY CAL YOURE GETTING SOLD

i’m sorry he looks so stupid 😭 (testing out a new brush)

[hadesisqueer]

Trying to think about Brooklynn from the POV of an old fan of hers is actually funny.

Like, you're a kid and you like watching stuff about this cool vlogger with millions of followers. She makes videos about just anything and it's really entertaining. Then one day she goes to a new camp at Jurassic World. The park collapses and damn your favorite influencer doesn't come back so she is 100% for sure dead. Then many months later she and the bunch of other kids she was with turn out to be alive and they're on the news everywhere. She quits the internet after her return, and maybe she's interviewed once or twice over the years and you're like "Oh, that's her? Didn't know she was becoming an investigative journalist, good for her I guess" or something like that. Then you find out she's been killed by a dinosaur "for real" this time and it's on the news again and you're like "oh, she died after all that? Man". Then several months later it's revealed she lost her hand but that she's alive and was just faking her death. This is the same influencer you used to watch when you were like 13 when you were bored and she made videos like "unboxing Amish country" and stuff like that. You wonder what the fuck is going on with her life.

[whynotjohnlock]

Doctor who incorrect quotes!

AAaAaaAhHhhHhH! I'm trapped in a cycle where I need some comfort so I watch this man child do silly things for 45 minutes but every episode I end up in tears because some I'm attached to Dies, so I need more comfort from doctor who but then my hearts get ripped out again so I start watching more Doctor who and then-

Here's some dumb stuff to brighten your day!

----------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!

(Y/N): Okay, can you do the dishes?

The Doctor: No!

----------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: Do not test me (Y/N)! I am the last timelord-

(Y/N): What about Ranni and the Master and literally like every 10 adventures where they just randomly appear? Not to mention all the other versions of yourself you seem to keep running into.

The Doctor: I've killed thousands of innocent beings and creatures and-

(Y/N): Haven't we all stepped on an ant pile or on grass before?

The Doctor: (Y/N), we are not the same I've lived for hundreds of years-

(Y/N): Isn't that a perfectly normal age for a Timelord? Hundreds of years only sounds impressive because I'm human.

The Doctor: You will wither and die and I will have to live on alone-

(Y/N): Do you not consider the TARDIS company? Isn't she literally sentient?

The Doctor: .......

The Doctor: *grumpily stomps in the TARDIS*

The Doctor: I need a dumber companion next time.

----------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: Bowties are cool!

Y/N: *confused* I never said there weren't...?

The Doctor: oh I know, I just like saying that.

----------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *Throwing they apples into space out the TARDIS doors* Bad Apples! Kill them with fire!

The Doctor: what did the apples ever do to you?

Y/N: Remember that one time I broke my leg and couldn't go adventureing with you?

The Doctor: what does that have to do with anything?

Y/N: I broke my leg because I tripped over an apple. I just realized the ancient earth prophecy is true. 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away' and I need to destroy them all now.

----------------------------------------------------------

Child: What’s it like being tall?

Child: Is it nice?

Child: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

The Doctor: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 3 chairs, 6 boxes, a small coffee table and 4 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Y/N: It was one time!

----------------------------------------------------------

Companion: *Calling Y/N* where is The Doctor, Y/N?

Y/N: sorry, the doctor has the zoomies right now, whatever it is, they can't help you.

Companion: The "Zoomies"?

The Doctor: *Spinning on chair quickly after chugging soy sauce while making incoherent dinosaur noises*

----------------------------------------------------------

Missy: Hey, do you know where (Y/N) is?

The Doctor: Why, so you can kidnap them again? That's never going to happen-

Missy: No, I would never waste time kidnapping Y/N again, they are too much fun for that. I want to have a girl's trip out with them. Actually is (Y/N) a girl? I can never tell what humans think gender is defined as.

The Doctor: actually, I don't really know either.

Y/N: *points at the TARDIS covered entirely by rainbow glitter* you should know by now doctor that I Identify as a fucking menace.

----------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: Daleks are the most evil beings of pure hate and are not to be trifled with under any circumstances.

Y/N: *Bursts out in laughter*

Doctor: Y/N, that's not funny!

Y/N: *still laughing* It can't even get up the stairs. OH FeAr tHE MigHtY dAlEk EmPIrE, FeLleD bY a SLiGht iNcliNE!

----------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: I hate your existence and will make sure your parents never meet, Y/N. I will find your friends and make them hate you!

The Doctor: Don't you dare!

Y/N: Uno!

----------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Nock Nock.

Doctor: fine I know this is going to be bad but Who's there?

Y/N:*Trying not to laugh*Doctor.

Doctor: *Rolls his eyes*Doctor who?

Y/N: Exterminate! Exterminate!

Doctor: That joke was terrible, Y/N.

----------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: How many time lords does it take to check if it's safe to go outside the TARDIS?

Doctor: I don't know.

Y/N: me neither because you've never fucking done it.

---------------------------------------------------------

The Cybermen: *Starts trying to connect Y/N's thoughts to upgrade them*

Y/N: *Gives them a tuor of their mind*

Y/N: on your left you can see the mental fuckery that is my everyday thought process.

Y/N: in front of you is every single weird reference from all media I have consumed in no order whatsoever.

Y/N: Oh, on your left is a real life coherent thoght! That's impressive, I thought all of them had died with that time I ate half of a computer.

Y/N: Oh, I want you to meet my friends! That's anxiety, hiding just around the corner is depression. Oh, and here's my BFF self doubt!

Doctor: Y/N, how did you stall in your mind for so long? I thought I wouldn't be quick enough to save you! How... *Looks around*

Doctor:

Doctor: you need therapy.

Y/N: I need therapy.

----------------------------------------------------------

Jack: Hey, Just wanted to check in on my favorite couple.

Y/N: We're not a couple!

Doctor: Yes we are Y/N! How could you honestly forget our night underneath the singing trees on €en§πß where I proposed to you?

Jack: Well congrats on-

Y/N: I was with Missy, who the FUCK did you propose too?

Doctor: wait, what were you doing with Missy?

Jack: *Munchies on popcorn*

----------------------------------------------------------

[thissortofsorcery]

A little more Witch!Steve and Werewolf!Billy pspspspspspspsps

It’s juicer this time

—

"Billy? What the hell happened?!"

Steve has said these words before, in a variety of tones and levels of exasperation, but now they ring out to the open sky with a sharp note of desperation.

Billy's bleeding in his backyard.

Steve kneels down beside him where he's slumped over one of the lounge chairs, arms akimbo and on his side. There's a faint whistling sound when he breathes. Steve hasn't really been trained in healing past the basics, nothing like his mom was, so he doesn't know exactly how bad it is. He just knows it's bad.

"Billy?" Steve says, voice trembling to match the hand hovering over Billy's head. Billy doesn’t answer, hasn’t answered this whole time, and Steve is starting to panic. “Billy, come on!”

Billy starts awake when Steve’s hand lands on his shoulder, flinching away and immediately groaning in pain. But he relaxes when his eyes settle on Steve, bruised and swollen as they are.

“Hey, pretty boy,” Billy slurs, making an attempt at a smirk. It comes out more of a grimace.

“Billy, what the fuck,” Steve says. He can’t see where Billy is injured in the position he’s in, but even his denim jacket is stained a horrible, dark red. “Let me see.”

Steve tries to move Billy onto his back, touching him gently; perhaps more gently than he’s ever touched anything, even Nancy. Still, a thin moan of pain escapes from Billy’s throat, and Steve bits his lip so he doesn’t start yelling his head off. He needs to keep cool right now, or he won’t be any help to Billy.

He has the awful urge to vomit when he sees Billy’s front; what’s left of his white t shirt is soaked through with blood, and it’s in ribbons. So is his abdomen.

“How did this happen? Talk to me, man,” Steve pleads, touching Billy’s chest with a careful hand. It’s the oddest thing, though, barely any blood stains his fingers when he shifts, as if the blood is almost dry. Like the wounds aren’t fresh.

Steve’s never seen Billy with wounds older than, like, fifteen minutes. He heals fast, even for a wolf.

“You should see the other guy,” Billy mumbles. It sounds like bullshit.

“Billy, why aren’t you healing?” Steve asks. “I’ve seen you heal a broken leg in two minutes, man, what the fuck.”

“I’m fine,” Billy grunts. Then he tries to push himself up, like he’s going to try to leave.

“Stop doing that, dickhead, you’re gonna make it worse!” Steve snaps, trying to keep Billy still. They stare each other down for what feels like eternity until Billy huffs and lies back down. “You’re obviously not fine.”

“I’m gonna heal eventually,” Billy insists.

“Before you bleed out? Or can you heal from that too?!” Steve says, voice ringing sharply in the open yard. “Tell me what happened so I can help you! Are you poisoned? Why aren’t you healing?”

“It was just a fight,” Billy says, but he doesn’t have the energy to make it sound like the truth.

“Yeah, with a fucking dinosaur apparently,” Steve grumbles, while trying to push Billy’s clothes away to get a better look.

He looks awful. He looks like he should be dead. For a moment, Steve feels hopeless; he doesn’t know enough about healing to fix this, not if there’s anything in Billy’s system that’s keeping his own advanced healing from kicking in. Steve feels terrified, and young, desperately wishing his mom was here. She’d know what to do. But she’s out of town.

Steve can’t leave Billy like this. He’s gonna have to do something.

“Okay, I can do this,” Steve mutters under his breath, taking a deep breath.

—

Then something happens, I haven’t thought about a magic system yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ don’t kill me

[runa-falls]

scratches and bites - 2

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Reader

Warnings: Could be a little off-canon for some characters, lots of plot, slight angst, Miguel is an helicopter mom, reader just wants some friends :(

a/n: ok. i didn't realize how much i wanted to put into this chapter so spicy stuff is coming NEXT chapter. promith. i've already written some of it. anyway, i'm glad y'all are enjoying my O'Hara content. I hope this lives up to your expectations lmfao

Summary: Miguel O'Hara is a grumpy man and you make him grumpy. You regularly go against his orders, create chaos, and invite danger. This is what you've been doing since he swept you away.

w/c: 2.2k

series masterlist | main masterlist

----

So being “Spider-Woman” turned out to be harder than you thought. It’s not all swinging from and shooting webs like you imagined. Apparently, there’s a spider-specific physical regimen you’re required to keep up with. Every day. 

You’re almost convinced that you’re being hazed into the spider-verse community because you are yet to see anyone else doing upside-down web squats on a 100-story building. Not to mention the life-threatening training simulations you were thrown into as soon as you arrived in Nueva York. 

“They can’t hurt you, Kid. They’re holograms.” 

“Yeah, that’s what they want you to think O’Hara, but my ass has been kicked enough to prove differently.”

“Alright, well they can’t kill you.”

Miguel has been “training” you for the last few months to become the best Spider-Woman you can be, pushing you harder than you’ve ever been pushed before. Though these days, this “training” is actually just him telling Parker to drill you in whatever he thinks will work. 

O’Hara attempted to do it himself for like three days, and it turns out he’s too impatient to take in a spider apprentice or even be in a room where you do anything but exactly what he commands. 

You should’ve expected it. 

Sure, Miguel is a naturally grumpy man, but you swear he has it out for you. He literally tenses whenever you enter the room and makes sure to barely meet your eyes when he’s forced to talk to you.

Actually, ever since you were dropped in the middle of Spider-Central, O’Hara has been ignoring you. Treating you like the plague. Always making the excuse that he’s too busy with things that are far more important than anything you’d ever have to say. As if he wasn’t the one who forced you to come with him in the first place…

It’s not fair. He was literally all you had. 

Months ago, he showed you a side of him, the one that convinced you that he actually brought you here for a reason, but now he can’t even look at you. Sure, you’re a particularly slow learner, and one that never really liked PE, but you deserve some slack. You left everything for him – for them. 

Meeting people who’ve gone through similar circumstances as you was quite interesting, to say the least. And it doesn’t stop at people either. Spider cars, dinosaurs, and cats were just the beginning. 

You’ve made a few friends. There’s Gwen, a 15 (or was it 16?) -year-old who mostly talks about her friend Miles, music, and…uh, Miles. It’s sweet how she gushes on about some guy without fully realizing how into him she is. Miles sounds great, really great, but you’ll probably never get to meet him because of the number of restrictions placed on your watch. Fucking O’Hara and his parental controls. 

Gwen is cool, she plays the drums and can do a bunch of acrobatic things that you’d never even attempt, but she’s also almost a half-decade younger than you. There’s only so much you can talk about before you start getting homesick. Of course, despite her young age, she’s still given more responsibilities and missions than you. If Miguel has one hobby, it would be undermining everything you do. 

“She’s been in the game longer than you have.” He always makes that excuse. 

And you always counter it with: “But I’m older! I can do more than just scream for help!”

“This isn’t a discussion.” That honestly might be his favorite phrase to shut you up these days. “You’ll be called on when you’re ready, Kid.” And that. 

“I am ready. And stop calling me that. I’m not a kid, I’m 20 years old!”

“Yeah, whatever.”

There’s also Peter Parker, your reluctant coach. He’s…something else. Sure, he’s your friend, but he’s more like a substitute teacher and crazy uncle type of guy. Usually, he listens to everything Miguel says, acting like a glorified babysitter, but sometimes, he’s up to bend the rules on some things.

Once he let you visit his dimension, claiming you’d need some real-life experience as a “friendly-neighborhood spider-woman”. You spent that day chasing down petty robbers and helping old ladies cross the road. Sure, it was a small field trip, but that was only the third dimension you’d traveled to at the time. 

Parker is also always trying to get you to hold his daughter whenever she comes to work claiming that “it’ll be good for your mental health, trust me.” Of course, for Parker, every day is “bring-your-kid-to-train-the-new-spider-woman-day”. And really, you don’t mind holding her, but not when you’re in the middle of sparing 5 of Doc Ocks tentacles. 

The baby is adorable, but you do worry about how she crawls up the walls. Parker doesn’t seem fazed. Actually, neither does O’Hara. 

Sometimes you wonder if O’Hara wants kids one day. He certainly handles Mayday like a pro, letting her crawl over his shoulders and paperwork. Would he possibl– No, actually, it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter, because he left you. He’s not – couldn’t even be an option. – Anyway…

Parker and Mayday are nice company and the only real constants in your life, but you really just want to be a consistent part of the team. You don’t know how much longer you can spend your days doing swinging drills and spider crunches (don’t even ask). But Parker has actually been your rock these past months, to give him credit. He’s one of the few people that makes you feel like you belonged in this distorted array of spiders and dimensions.

Then there’s Hobie. 

The first time you met him you probably had literal stars in your eyes. Donned with a spiked vest and several facial piercings, he caught your attention right away. He catches everyone’s attention. Even his suit is cooler than everyone else’s with a spiked mohawk that surely gets in the way.

Unfortunately, just as you were hoping to take on the Brit as your mentor for all things spider, he was decidedly off-limits, courtesy of O’Hara. Apparently, his rebellious nature and brash energy make him a “bad influence”. 

“Seriously? You should be glad that I’m taking a bigger interest in my training.” You have your hands posted up on your hips, trying to make yourself look bigger than you actually are. Damn, O’Hara and his domineering presence!

He rolls his eyes openly, genuinely already done with the conversation. “Yeah…your ‘training,’ sure.” 

“What is that supposed to mean!” You practically whine it out.

“Don’t get distracted gatita, just do as you’re told.”

“Ok, what does that mean? I don’t speak Italian.”

“That was Spanish dumbass.”

Of course, that doesn’t stop you from hanging out with him anyway (though he’s not around as much anymore). Who knew making friends as Spider-Person would be so hard. You’d think you’d have a lot in common with everyone around you, but really, you’re all alone. Sometimes you think the spiders actually resent you deep down because you’re the only one that has never lost anything. Or had anything to lose in the first place. 

For now, you’re just moving through a sea of spiders, trying to catch a glimpse of what you’re supposed to be doing here. Trying to figure out why you were chosen over the infinite other versions of you in the multiverse.

—

So far you’ve been on 2 and a half missions. The half was when you were forcibly sent home and effectively grounded for a week. Apparently, talking to civilians while standing guard is prohibited, even when they’re selling dip��n’dots. What? It was a long ass mission. And it was hot! 

This one is your official third mission. It’s quite simple, in theory. Just travel to Earth-275A, infiltrate a tech lab, pick up some – worryingly volatile – equipment, and go home. Easy. 

Except, it didn’t exactly go that way. 

It’s just you, Miguel, Gwen, and Jess on this mission. You and Jess were placed on lookout duty (you on the roof and Jess on the ground with her bike), while Miguel and Gwen broke in and out of the building. It was all running smoothly, each spider occasionally muttering quietly through the radio whenever their positionings changed. Otherwise, it was silent. And frankly, a bit boring. 

You idly kicked around some pebbles that somehow found their way onto the roof of this tall ass building, sometimes smacking them against the half wall separating you from falling a thousand feet downwards. You were actually dying to get back to HQ because you briefly spotted Hobie talking to Parker and Mayday before you had to go. He’s been quite absent lately, and you want to show off some of the new moves you learned this week.

Then, there was suddenly action. 

A huge explosion surges out the right side of the building that O’Hara and Stacy were infiltrating. That mission plan was not kidding when they described the ‘volatility’ of the shit inside of those supply crates. Deep creaking and smashing objects follow the blast. You watch as the tallest building in the city starts to tilt. Shit, the explosion must’ve taken out some of the support beams.

You hear Miguel yelling your name through your earpiece, as well as heavy breathing and crumbling concrete in the background. 

“Y-yes? Copy–”

“You and Gwen collect the crate and get out of here. I already called for a portal. Jess and I will get surrounding civilians away from danger.” 

“Understood, sir.” You don’t usually call him anything like ‘sir’, but the stakes are high and complete compliance is needed at this moment. 

“Crate is located on the top floor, Stacy is already there waiting for my word.” You briefly shake yourself out, mentally preparing yourself to scale the larger building in front of you.

With a quick fwp, you attach your web to the nearly as tall building next to your target to give yourself some leverage. You jump without even giving yourself time to think about it, tugging slightly at the web, making sure to collect as much kinetic energy as possible. You release the web when you get to the highest point and spit out another web to get you to the top floor of the building. Luckily the blast took out the windows so you could easily enter the floor. 

There, Gwen stands next to a crate with several scientists and guards nicely pasted onto the walls with perfectly placed webs on each limb and over their abdomens. 

“Took you long enough.” 

“It’s been 30 seconds!”

“Relax, I’m teasing.” She shoots out a couple of webs and connects them to the crate. “Here, help me out with this.” You follow her movements, pulling at your webs slightly to get a good evaluation of its weight. Surprisingly, it moves quite easily, almost three inches from your soft tug.

“Why’re we both doing this when it weighs 100 lbs. We have super strength.”

“I dunno, Miguel just gave us the orders. There’s probably a reason. It doesn’t really matter.” You frown realizing you could’ve been down there helping O’Hara save actual lives but instead, you were ordered to assist a teenager on a one-person job. “The portal is opening in a few seconds on the roof of the building behind us.” Gwen doesn’t seem phased. “We can just swing it with us.”

“Isn’t this shit going to blow up if we move it too harshly?”

“Not when it’s in this protective crate.” She steps closer to the broken window, mentally measuring and planning out the escape route. “That explosion earlier was from an open container.” You hum, still torn over leaving Gwen to do the delivery so you can help people get out of the way faster. “You ready then?” She’s been watching you. Clearly, your thoughts are painted on your face.

You nod briefly, “Let’s go.” Together you take each side of the crate and use your other arms to swing yourselves over to the portal that magically appears. This time, that odd purring sound of the portal is completely blocked out by the chaos going on around you. Somehow the building has still only tilted a little bit since the explosion. 

As Gwen pushes the crate into the gateway, you look down at the streets, watching as Miguel and Jess work impeccably together as they save hundreds of civilians from falling debris and the inevitable demolition of the building.

Then you look back a Gwen, who’s ready to head home. Then you look down at them again. 

Then your eye catches on a red sedan sheltering a terrified family that sits under the chaos.

Gwen catches your eye. “Don’t.” 

“I have to.” 

“Migu–”

“Would do the same.”

“--Will mur-der me.” You sigh, but quickly shoot a couple of webs downwards without looking. Gwen has her arms folded, sharing that unamused expression that Jess loves to sport. Her feet are now temporarily stuck to the floor. You’re sure she could get out of it in a second, but you can tell, she’s not going to stop you. “Don’t die.”

Right before jumping off the ledge, you send her a cheesy smirk, “Me? Never.”

----

Taglist: @deputy-videogamer @danaeaurelia @reuxxi

[catfern]

cowboy!ellie headcanons

pairing: ellie williams x afab!reader

music: roses are falling - orville peck

word count: 1.2k

warnings: fingering (briefly), drunk sex-ish, guns??, yearning and just sappy shit mainly im in a vulnerable state

an: this is shit brainrot bc i've played too much rdr2 and i want ellie to let me ride her cowgirl style. this took me for-fucking-ever because i got acrylics and dropped my wpm from 108 to 67. also if i put out a poll asking what fic to post next would people vote

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✷ cowboy!ellie having the most pornographic, velvet-laced southern accent known to man. drawling out words in a whisper, that reassured wit sitting in her throat with a lopsided smirk. she’s such a tease, knowing how it gets to you, that ‘c’mon, sweetheart, you gonna make me wait f’you?’ after she trots ahead, glancing back at you under the wide brim of her hat. please, trying to make eye contact with ellie after a long day of riding (ifykyk), seeing just a glance of the veins in her neck, beads of sweat sitting in the little crevices as she leans down to her saddle bag. god, her hands!! and she looks at you, that knowing impatience and ‘okay there, darlin’?, and you can’t look at her, your head swimming and drowning in the molasses of her voice and too focused on the up, down, up, down, up trot of your horse.

✷ setting up camp for the night, bed mats a good distance away from each other, and you wake up, fire dying, moon high, and ellie is still awake, hands covered in dirt and ash and rust from her old revolver that she cleans too occasionally. the gentle scratch of charcoal on parchment, her body hunched over, protective like a creature, and when you call out to her, she TOSSES her journal into the dirt like it burned to touch. if the moon wasn’t so faint, you’d see the uncharacteristic blush fleeting across her cheeks, but too quickly, she tells you to go back to sleep, she’s just staying up to take care of the fire. you listen in a haze, and ellie tears out the five, maybe 6 pages?? of rough sketches, harsh lines etching out your body, your smile, your eyes, and stamps them into the cooling embers of the campfire.

✷ if we’re talking historically accurate cowboys, ellie is definitely the type to believe in dinosaurs!! it’s this new, fresh, science fad and everybody laughs at her for it, cause omg?? giant lizards?? nah!! but ellie is so adamant, reading every paper and pamphlet on the subject that she can get her hands on (assuming she can even read lets be so real), and she’ll tell you about it! small, reluctant meanders from more important topics, at first, but you’re kind and you listen to words either of you barely understand, and sure it’s a little bit boring, but she’s happy, and for some reason she makes it incredibly dynamic, crash coursing you on lizards that evolved (a buzz word in all her pamphlets) into BIGGER lizards.

✷ cowboy!ellie, the horse whisperer. she doesn’t teach you to ride, but you’ve never had a way with horses, cantankerous and rough, so you need a lil bit of assistance. ellie will take the lead, letting you rock behind her on your horse, your arms draped around her like common occurrence, and she’ll turn, ‘see? be gentle, she’ll listen. you’re a team, y’know?’

✷ ‘she just likes you more than me.’

✷ her laugh is boisterous, loud, it sounds like it belongs amongst the hills and caverns, like wind against rocks, ‘no one likes me more than you, flower.’

✷ one day, you’re just passing through a small town, nothing more than a few shops and scattered farm houses, and ellie spies an outlaw poster, poorly tacked to the community bulletin board. it’s her, badly sketched, sure. her chin is way too big, nose a bit askew, but it’s definitely her. and you laugh as she presses you frantically, ‘i don’t really look like this? do i?’ and it’s got some ridiculous nickname that definitely over-inflates her ego, ‘ellie 'longshot’ williams (no one has called her that ever) that she’ll parade it around like a medal

✷ ‘aw, love, do you need some help shootin’? don’t call me long shot for nothin’.’

✷ you’d get a bit vulgar, a bit defensive because, yeah, maybe ellie is actually good at shooting, and you could benefit from her teaching. but that fucking nickname, lording over your head with that lilt in her voice, and the childish, goading smile, you’d tell her to shove it somewhere the sun don’t shine and just pray luck guides your bullet.

✷ your now-so-serious scowl eats at her, so ellie has to swallow her boyish pride and shut up, simply falling behind you. gently tapping your shin with her boot to get you to adjust your stance, her hands stretching out over yours to feel out the barrel of the foreign pistol. they’re rough, calloused, unmade for this sort of gentle gesture, but you welcome the heat that they give. with a soft push and pull, like a tide she moves your fingers, your hands, to hold the gun well. her voice is a whisper as she instructs, ‘don’t hold it so loosely. stronger grip helps aim.’ 

✷ she’s shaking in her boots. a moment like this, tender, with you is scarcely shared. the closeness burns her chest as she feels you breathe against her, skittish but assured, ellie’s finger snaking around yours to settle on the trigger. you go to fire, and the recoil sends you backwards in a shock, ellie having to move her hands from the gun to your waist to keep you steady. you laugh something coarse, leaning back into her without a thought. adrenaline intimacy.

✷ ‘okay, maybe y’need a few more lessons before you get it right.’ it’s a selfish thought, but it cements ellie in that moment, with you just in her reach, and her revolver. she’d clean it for you.

✷ cowboy!ellie doing stupid shit, like taking longer detours to show you the scenery, the stretching fields and great mountain waterfalls, stopping to pick wildflowers (she’s a sap), or taking the extra care to saddle up your horse for you, securing the girth and not letting you touch it because ‘i don’t need you slippin’ on me.’ she takes care of you, out on the road, it’s not an official thing, but you’re off limits.

✷ ellie is kind, but sex with her isn’t. the first time, she’s terribly drunk, playing away her night in a saloon, at a poker table (she’s losing), and you’re sat at the bar, wearing that, and it’s violently throwing her off her game, so she decides to make it known that your presence is an interruption. dragging you upstairs, she’s unkind. ‘you’re not helping my luck, looking like that.’

✷ ‘how do you need me, then?’

✷ she tastes like cigarette smoke, and bourbon, and she smells like the sleek of rain on dry dirt, and feeling her all over you is intoxicating, rough. she’s quick, her lips aren’t soft but rather, a grating possession on your skin, a feeling that swallows you, melts you down in the heat of her hands. she swears, a lot, it sounds like disbelief but really, it’s a bribe. a prayer. ‘dear god, give me this, let me have this, and i will be devout.’ it’s primal, something uncontrollable. drunk, it’s worse. she loses herself in the haze, becomes complete disregard, her fingers inside you without hearing you, just feeling you. lost in you and she keeps pounding into you simply because she’s enraptured by the feeling of you clenching around her.

[kalinara]

(All-New X-Men #6)

I've kind of blogged something about this before but I never get tired of seeing posts about Logan/Scott/Jean as a throuple (I will literally die of spite before I use a portmanteau) that talk about them as two godlike, immortal beings and "just some guy".

Because on some level, of course, it's absolutely true. Jean is the living embodiment of a Universal Cosmic Force. She can sneeze and wipe out entire star systems.

And Logan is basically immortal. There are a good number of timelines that go forward hundreds, if not thousands of years (see: Powers of X in the Krakoa era) that still show Logan at the prime of his life, always fighting and surviving.

Scott, is, by that standard, just some guy. He's got lasers coming out of his eyes, which is kind of cool admittedly. You could do some interesting analysis on the fact that they seem to be infinite - the only time we see them give out is when HE gives out. Or doesn't get enough sunlight or whatever. But for practical purposes, they've got one real use, the guy's just a very decorative portable cannon.

But what makes Scott special, and on level with the other two, isn't what he is, but what he does.

This is a dude who's led the X-Men since he was a teenager. And as a teenager once talked an entire fleet of Sentinels into attacking the goddamn sun.

This is a dude who co-led a guerilla war against Apocalypse in the future for 10-12 years (admittedly with his goddess wife), then came back as though nothing happened.

He's also the reason for his own last name, because in ANOTHER time traveling bout with the goddess wife, he managed to inspire his own orphaned ancestor to take the name "Summers" in his and Jean's honor.

This is a dude who got possessed by Apocalypse, and repressed him to the point of amnesia, got a sliver of the Void stuck in his head, and repressed that too. Even Phoenix possession took a while to shake that guy.

This is a dude who became the "Boy King of Utopia", uniting the entirety of the mutant race under one banner. Magneto KNELT to him and named him Caesar.

There's also that time he stared down Dracula. Was it a bluff? Dracula thinks so. But he still backed the fuck down. And for a brief period of time, even Namor followed this guy's lead. NAMOR.

This is a dude who, after becoming possessed and ostracized, led a "mutant revolution", becoming a household name among bitter college students everywhere.

He's the kangaroo trial symbol of the entire mutant race, sentenced to death, and his only response is a call to arms published through his lawyer, She-Hulk.

This is a man who's slept with Jean Grey, the Phoenix (back when they were considered separate entities), the Goblin Queen, Emma Frost, and Frenzy, and every single one came back wanting to fuck him again.

Speaking of Frenzy? That dude's sub game redeemed a fucking acolyte!

"God took less time than that to make the world!". Okay, take a fucking breath, Joanna. (X-Men Legacy #248)

His kids are practically gods in their own right, and he was only involved in the conception of one of them. The others just kind of showed up one day with a DNA test and got invited in for dinner.

The closest thing he has to a hobby is plotting how to kill dinosaurs:

(Uncanny X-Men #495 - and he's fought a LOT of dinosaurs.

Sinister's been obsessed with this man's DNA for years, and yeah, if you're just looking at it in terms of powers, it doesn't make a lot of sense. There are much more powerful mutants out there after all. But when you start thinking about the rest of this, yeah, I kind of want to put him in a petrie dish too.

Heck, he's even argued with the narrator! In another timeline, he could have become an incredibly boring variation of Deadpool!

(Uncanny X-Men #96).

I'm just saying, yes, by one point of view the Moon Throuple is two godlike immortal beings and dude who is "just some guy".

But on the other hand, if you had a chance to fuck the unholy combination of Mr. Rogers, Alexander the Great, and the Death Star wouldn't you?

[xxsabitoxx]

Cowboy | Kinktober Side Quest 2

Dinosaur Hybrid Kyojuro x AFAB Horse Jockey Reader

A/N: if this sounds fucking bizarre… it’s because I’m using Steel Ball Run Aka Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure pt.7 as inspiration. Listen… I’d let Diego Brando do horrid things to me when he’s in between transforming due to Scary Monsters.

If I don’t do a good job trying to paint this picture for you, you can always reference this to help!

Divider is from @benkeibear | @monster-october-kny-2023

Kyojuro, who makes a point to hide his “deformity” with his hair. His cowboy hat always casting shadows on his handsome face and fiery hair.

Kyojuro, who places bandages on his cheeks to hide the fact that his mouth extends all the way to the end of his jaw.

Kyojuro, who pulls away when you try and fix his hair for him.

Kyojuro, who’s heart falls to his stomach when the wind blows to hard and reveals the secret he’s been trying to hide.

“Woah…” you breathed out, hand reaching to ghost across the cracks in his cheek. Sharp teeth were pointing out of it, the bandage on his face peeling off a bit as he gasped. “I… don’t look at me please I know it’s ugly…” Kyojuro’s hand came up to try and hide how far his mouth extended, inching away from you out of fear. “No… Kyojuro it’s not ugly I just wasn’t expecting it.” You clarify, finding it oddly beautiful.

“You… don’t find it ugly?” He seemed hesitant, golden eyes meeting yours to try and decipher if you were serious. “Not at all… it’s pretty cool actually…” you took a hesitant step closer, not wanting to push the man before you if he wasn’t ready. Much to your relief, Kyojuro didn’t shy away. Your fingers brushed along his cheek, tucking a strand of golden hair behind his ear as you carefully observed the jagged cracks and elongated smile. “You don’t have to explain how this happened, though I must admit I’m very curious.”

Kyojuro, who tells you all about his bizarre quirk and how it happened.

Kyojuro, who tells you that he can fully transform into a dinosaur if he really wanted too

Kyojuro, who can grow a long, orange and red tail that looks just like a reptile's tail

Kyojuro, who now freely uses his interesting abilities to help you get ahead in the horse race

"Ya know, you're pretty hot like this, Kyojuro." you laughed softly, back resting against your bag of supplies as the fire crackled before you. On the other side, Kyojuro was attempting to put some bandages over his jaw. "You find my in-between stage hot?" the blonde countered you, causing the tape to peel away again. "I do." you grabbed your stick to prod at the fire as it began to dwindle, the desert was too cold at night to go without the warmth.

"Well, it's taken me some time, but I'm slowly getting used to it. Still, I wouldn't necessarily call it hot." he tried to put the tape on again, this time a little further up so it wouldn't interfere with his talking. "Do you think I could ride you, Kyojuro?" This time, the cowboy missed completely when trying to apply his tape. "And what do you mean by that, little lady?" he drawled, mind wandering to a much filthier place. "I mean in your dinosaur form, you probably run as fast as my horse."

The smirk on your face told him it was nothing more than a cover-up, you meant something far different. "I can assure you, little lady, that my dinosaur form is nothing in comparison to my human form." your tongue came out to wet your lips, smiling a bit as you innocently tilted your head. "And what do you mean by that, cowboy?" You could see his eyes burning even over the once again blazing flame. He was busying himself with the other side of his face as he spoke.

"My stamina, I can only last so long in that form. My human body can endure a lot more, it can last longer."

"That so, cowboy? Why don't you prove it to me?" you got up, making your way around the fire pit to crouch before the hybrid man. "Little lady... you don't know what you're asking me to." he breathed out, observing what he could of you now that you were covered in shadow. "Oh, I beg to differ, cowboy. I know exactly what I'm asking you to prove." Your tone was challenging him, the smirk on his face making heat flood you even with the chilly air surrounding you.

"Alright then, little lady, put your riding skills to work."

You sunk your teeth into your lower lip, trying to suppress your smirk as you stood again. Kyojuro watched you, straighten his legs so you could properly straddle him. “There we go.” He commented softly as you settled in his lap, knees digging firmly into the sand below you. “Go on now, show me.” You could feel his half-hard dick as you squirmed a bit, muttering a soft “testing it out” as he quirked his brow. Kyojuro merely hummed, calloused fingers finding their home on your waist as you began rocking your hips steadily into his. “Atta girl…” he groaned, head falling back so you could admire his defined jaw.

You were strategic about how you touched him, fingers dancing along the coarse material of his top before sliding up his neck. You wanted to touch his jaw, finding that part of him to be utterly hypnotic. You wanted to trace the jagged cracks that split all the way up to his cheekbones, kiss the soft lips that were parted so prettily for you as you grinder against him. “Cowboy… can I kiss you?” Your voice had a slight twang as you said your request, pulling a smile all the way up his jaw as he uttered back “I’d be honored if you did, little lady.”

You didn’t need much more confirmation that that, lips colliding with his in a messy kiss. You nearly yelled when his tongue slithered past your parted lips, longer than a human tongue as he swept into your mouth. Your fingers found their way to his cheeks, pressing into the uneven skin with care, eager to finally feel him how you’ve been wanting too. Your hips didn’t cease their movement, rocking into him with more fervor, until you could feel him through the leather of your riding pants. “Kyojuro…” you pulled away, salvia keeping you connected as his lips chased after your own.

“What is it?” He breathed out, thumb rubbing circles on your hip as he guided you to drag your covered cunt again him. “What if someone sees? We’re out in the open after all…” but the cowboy just shook his head, “then let them watch.”

[askuemki]

@vivgst new thread <3 (I have the cut so it won't be a pain to scroll lol)

I've never watched Death Note, but I guess Ill just say L is my favorite since we share a name (technically) Honestly? my answer is simple w/ what animal Id be Almost ANY cat (not the flatfaced or folded ear ones though they can have some bad health issues :( ) Like if you're a domestic cat, you have the stuff to survive both in the wild, or in someone's house. You have super scenes of smell, night vision, claws, sharp teeth, AND probably enough smarts to not get eaten by dogs or smth. On the other hand with humans, at least 70% of the population would adore you, and maybe even take you in to pamper you. It would be very easy to get them to do your bidding since you'd be just some animal, and perhaps put above your caretaker's needs. Pets? Affection? Just act all adorable and stuff and they'll give it to you, cling on to them and they'll say they're your human now. On the other hand (or paw) there's the wild cats!! Still very cute. Still very cool. Now your defenses are upped by a ton, and people still find you cute. Though with how shitty environmental conditions are, and with the bigger cats slowly going to extinction :( , I may or may not just stick to domestic cats But hypothetically.. It would be neat to be either a snow leopard, tiger, or a jaguar. I love snow leopards for their big fluffy tails, and it would be cool to be able to roam through snow and stuff, but that seems to get a little boring from time to time. Love tigers for their stripes, I don't think they can roar..?? But that doesn't change anything. Think Tigers and Jaguars are both pretty efficient in survival, but I'd pick Jaguar just for their athletics and HUGE bite force (least from my 1st search). Or maybe, maybe not because there's an outfit/skin or two of Valeria's that are based on jaguars.. (or leopards, but ill go w/ jaguars) im obsessed w/ this woman man hdwhadwjadawnk OH ALSO ON THE TOPIC OF BIRDS??? AS FUN AS IT WOULD BE TO BE A MALE BIRD AND SHAKE YOUR COLORFUL BUM AROUND, THERE WAS A WHOLE ASS WAR W/ EMUS AND AUSTRALIA Honestly who wouldn't wanna be a relative of a dinosaur, but smaller and just as fucking scary Also for vacation.... I don't like going on vacation. I just like being in my sad little room, on the internet or drawing my ass off But, Id love to visit Japan and see their Ghibli Studio museum, it's so cool... Or even just go to a few hotels or smth here and there, I love their stellar technology, I love how everything is so cute or neat there, oh and I especially LOVE the social rules there, I'm a goody-two-shoes at heart and perfectly agree with being "nice"... Like yeah sure I may not like you or the opposite, but at least we can co-exist without biting our heads off (unlike the fucking us) and japan seems open to their culture being explored by others, so I'd totally love to (respectfully) participate in some traditions here and there OR I could visit Europe. Like not even a specific country? Just Europe. Cuz the US is like really fucking big, and a country like France is apparently as big as Texas. And it would be cool to take a week trip just exploring cultures and stuff (well everything except food, I'm a terrible picky eater ugh) Vacation in the US scares me tho, I'm fine where I'm at rn Maybe id be a little open to going to canada.. but bc of how they're treating the Palestine genoside rn maybe like later in life if they redeem themselves, but like the us? Fuck them too I think crocodiles r cute, but I wouldn't wanna go near one :3 Most of my relatives are either in the Philippines or Maryland, I barely know abt them now Never thought I'd be the one to be the gay cousin, ngl

[blacklegsanjiii]

A sanji that hasnt joined the crew but pops up everywhere when they need him (or dont, they just find him making out with their captain) also he leaves random buffets and easy to make recipes and stock in the pantry (he wont let them starve!!)

Maybe he’s already part of another pirate crew but he cares abt them v much so he cant help but help and hes always in the right place at the right time (arlong park, little garden, mr prince, and a bunch more)

OR BETTER ALTERNATIVE VERSION the crew besides luffy doesnt even know Sanjis there helping them and are all convinced the ship is haunted. Idk i just like the idea of sanji being a badass while also being a cryptic fuck

I love this. Luffy shrugged at his refusal and left. Zeff kicked his ass off Baratie anyway and now he's following behind to make sure they don't die. He's sneaking onto the Merry to stock it and leaves recipe cards and also a guide on how to care for Nami's trees. Sanji has his powers but was too emotional and that's why Judge got rid of him. Sanji is basically Big Foot. Everyone is confused except Luffy who always laughs and grins.

Sanji is following them in a small coffin boat and is ripping his hair out at every fucking instance of his existence following them. He's going to strangle the rubber man, doesn't matter if they're dating or whatever the fuck they're doing. Sanji is going to strangle him. Sanji had done Reverse Mountain, by himself, in a little boat, managed to befriend a whale with the god damn jolly roger of his not boyfriend, fought dinosaurs and lied to a Warlord and left a forever post to Alabasta on the Merry.

Sometimes he'll see Luffy and they'll make out, it's rare but it does happen. Like everything is normal and even Robin is confused at the blond guy who sets himself on fire in Enies Lobby and then leaves with a wave. Zoro has no idea who the blond guy is- wait is that the fucking waiter?- at thriller bark. Brook asks Luffy about it and all he says is that's his boyfriend. Everyone is confused except Luffy.

Like there's this guy with this awful bounty that's close to Zoro's and during the time skip it keeps rising in a weird way, because this 'Black Leg' is looking for the Strawhat Pirates and somehow winds up destroying more than he thought he would in retribution. Shanks probably asks this kid what the fuck he's doing when he accidentally wanders into Red Haired territory and Sanji is like 'well Luffy is my boyfriend and he and the crew are missing' and when they're asking how Sanji joined the crew over dinner Sanji is explaining he's not, he's just following them to make sure they don't starve like his dad wanted. Which he can't do after Sabaody and Marineford so if they could give him some directions that would be cool. Except they don't and Sanji stares blankly at them as he leaves and lights a cigarette with his foot.

Once the crew reunites they think Sanji will join, he doesn't. At this point he's not even following them, he's like racing them. He'll leave food and a present with the poneglyphs from where he's been. Sanji is a fucking menace though but because of his abilities he's not exactly easy to spot. Luffy will always find him though. Always.