#dilf tournament

[silcoitus]

If Silco loses I swear I’m going to fucking cry. He can’t lose against… that

Oh no I absolutely agree.

As someone who just really cannot stand Homestuck (and has war flashbacks of all the fucking gray paint all over conventions because Homestuck cosplayers never learned how to seal their body paint), I do NOT want to lose to this fandom.

We're not gonna make it easy for them. If they win, it'll be a phyrric victory.

And then they'll get their asses handed to them by Din.

If Egbert wins, I will vote for his opponent every single fucking time out of spite. I have irrational rage toward this 2d character that has NOTHING. He's missing facial features. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE COLOR.

[x-amount-verbs]

VOTE SILCO

If you’re like me and have homestuck blacklisted, you may not be seeing the post to vote for silco in the dilf tournament, so here’s a link 😘

https://www.tumblr.com/thedilftournament/713161908141834240/round-3-poll-4-dad-egbert-homestuck-silco

[davespritevstheworld]

vote dad egbert cmon guys its not that hard dont do it for the homestuck do it for dilfs everywhere. he is the dad everyone. dad ever. father everyone. he went to pride and gave me a thumbs up

[no-good-dirty-homosuck]

I VOTED DAD EGBERT IN THE DILF TOURNAMENT AND YOU CAN TOO!

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO VOTE DADBERT AND MAES HUGHES IN THE @thedilftournament 

[spicymalepolls]

ROUND 2: POLL #4

ROUND TWO POLLS [HERE]

PROPAGANDA BELOW

🔞 18 + Content Ahead 🔞

Shanks:

I don't think I completely understood the meaning of a DILF until this man showed up. He is physically amazing and I 100% believe he would respect anyone he shares a bunk with. The way he took to Luffy and became his paternal roll model is beautiful. That shows that it's not always about the amount of time you spend with the kid, but the quality of it which is important. He is not a confirmed biological dad, but he is Luffy's (as just stated) and it is a popular theory that he is the father of Makino's child. (plus Uta)

Guys, I want to have his baby--and I don't even know if I want kids.

Image #1

Image #2

Image #3

Image #4 (Rule 34)

Image #5 (Rule 34)

Image #6 (Rule 34)

Dr. Atomic Robo Tesla:

He has an adoptive robot son (spoiler, happens later in the comic) and has a dad bod that given his ability to modify himself has to be a choice at this point. He is 83 (in the present at the start of the comic) but he has pure DILF rather than GILF energies. I mean just look at him.

Image #1

Image #2

Image #3

Image #4

Image #5

Image #6

Image #7 [SPOILER]

Image #8 [SPOILER]

Image #9 [SPOILER]

Image #10 (Rule 34 Paheal)

Image #11 (Rule 34 Paheal)

[bumblecrisp]

you’re welcome

The most unhinged character thus far, the one that made you said “what the actual fuck”?

Papa Smurf was the one that shocked me the most tbh

[cringefaillosersummit]

Round 1; Group 5A

About Phoenix he embodies “my poor little meow meow” but in the most unlikeable way possible

About Bruce I argue that he is more cringefail that Tim Drake. He is the og loser

[silcoitus]

Well done, coi! It was a valiant effort. We did well, all things considered. Silco must be so proud. I salute you, most esteemed DILF campaign manager

Thank you 🥺💙

Honestly, this might be weird to say, but I had so much fun doing this tourney and I don't think I've ever gotten so many anon messages in my inbox before. While we didn't win, it def feels like the Silco Simps pulled together as a community.

Maybe the DILFs were the friends we made along the way 🌈

[feartheoldblog]

FROMSOFT GILF TOURNAMENT

Do you want to fuck that old man? Fed up with people talking about a certain old man, checking him out and he’s a 34 year old guy with bags under his eyes? Disagreed with Blaidd the Half-Wolf being included in the dilf poll? Peepaw kisser? Old man aficionado?

Then this tournament is for you!

May the hottest Fromsoft grandpa win.

RESULTS

Notes:

• These are old ass men. Dilfs are not included in this. Father Gascoigne is a 40yo man, he is not a gilf.

• Feel free to send in propaganda, I’ll keep my anons on for this purpose.

• For people who want to filter out the Tournament posts: The tags used for this will be ‘fromsoft gilf tournament’ and the round of polls, for example ‘tournament round 1 part a’. That way people who aren’t interested can keep it off their dash etc.

ROUND 1

Part A

Pontiff Sulyvahn

Gehrman, the First Hunter

X

Big Hat Logan

Darkstalker Kaathe

X

Slave Knight Gael

Dragonlord Placidusax

X

Greirat

Isshin Ashina

X

Master Hewg

Gwyn, Lord of Cinder

X

Father Ariandel

Old Iron King

X

Part B

Godfrey, the First Elden Lord

King Vendrick

X

Andre the Blacksmith

Old Hunter Henryk

X

King Allant

Consumed King Oceiros

X

Ludleth the Exiled

Commander Niall

X

Master Logarius

Great Shinobi Owl

X

Gravelord Nito

Old Demon King

X

ROUND 2

Andre the Blacksmith

King Allant

X

Gehrman, the First Hunter

Commander Niall

X

Great Shinobi Owl

Gravelord Nito

X

Isshin Ashina

Master Hewg

X

Old Iron King

Slave Knight Gael

X

Godfrey, the First Elden Lord

Big Hat Logan

X

ROUND 3

Gehrman, the First Hunter

Isshin Ashina

X

Great Shinobi Owl

Slave Knight Gael

X

Andre the Blacksmith

Godfrey, the First Elden Lord

X

[birb-boyo]

Still pissed about the sexyman thing like-

HOW DID TIME LOSE????

AGAINST WARRIORS?!??!

I’D UNDERSTAND IF IT WAS TWILIGHT

BUT WARRIORS????

WHAT WAS HAPPENING OVER THERE????

[quixoatic]

boomer tries colouring for the first time and shits tears

[spicymalepolls]

ROUND 4: POLL #1 - Semifinals

ROUND FOUR POLLS [HERE]

PROPAGANDA BELOW

🔞 18 + Content Ahead 🔞

Maes Hughes:

Image #1 (Rule 34)

Image #2 (Rule 34)

Image #3 (Rule 34)

Image #4 (Rule 34)

Dr. Atomic Robo Tesla:

He has an adoptive robot son (spoiler, happens later in the comic) and has a dad bod that given his ability to modify himself has to be a choice at this point. He is 83 (in the present at the start of the comic) but he has pure DILF rather than GILF energies. I mean just look at him.

Image #1

Image #2

Image #3

Image #4

Image #5

Image #6

Image #7 [SPOILER]

Image #8 [SPOILER]

Image #9 [SPOILER]

Image #10 (Rule 34 Paheal)

Image #11 (Rule 34 Paheal)

[leeksoupforstardew]

Stardew valley babygirl smackdown semifinal 2

Kent vs Linus

There’s no propaganda. I’m too tired to make some

[go-fuck-a-dead-protagonist]

HERE'S WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR THE SHAPE BLACKOUT CLUB IN @thedilftournament

It's an underdog

The Shape represents one of the most fascinating indie titles I've ever played, The Blackout Club, which is a story about a town in America's national radio quiet zone that's controlled by a cult, and how a ragtag band of teens are pushing back against said cult. The TBC community on tumblr is really small, so if you're someone who likes voting for the least popular poll options, I can GUARANTEE that The Shape will be your underdog.

It is the platonic ideal of a father

SAO, the God responsible for the cult, has a stranglehold on the teenagers' parents. As such, when looking for a form for their invisible servant that would chase kids down, SAO naturally chose... A balding man wearing khakis, a polo shirt, and sneakers, that dad-jogs everywhere.

That's right! The Shape isn't JUST a dad - it's the PLATONIC IDEAL of a controlling father, chasing kids around in full dad-wear because they won't go to church.

Here's some pictures!

Plus, in early access, covering The Shape in foam actually made its polo shirt even more visible...

It's even a judgemental HOA dad!

This isn't even its final form

The Shape isn't even in its final form - THIS father can go super saiyan!

When The Shape can't seem to capture its prey within a certain time frame, it grows spectral red wings that allow it to perform ten-foot vertical leaps in pursuit of the club kids. This form is colloquially referred to as The Angel.

I wonder what that's evocative of? Surely it couldn't be.... Religious trauma?!

It assists in the allegory the game is attempting to present

The Shape/The Angel is an allegorical vehicle! I should really just make a whole other essay about religious trauma in TBC, but for our purposes, The Shape represents the elder generation of a town that is under the influence of a cult sect, like Mormonism - Attempting to grab the kids of the community and "add them to The Song", which is code for indoctrinating and brainwashing them. In a similar manner to how these insular religious communities leave people they can't convert for dead, if you escape your father's The Shape's indoctrination twice, the next time it gets you, it just Straight Up Kills You. How wonderfully succinct.

You'd be helping my friends and partners win a bet

I am the only person in my friend group who doesn't (jokingly) call The Shape a dilf. I've told my friends that, if it wins, I will finally relent and see the light of my misdeeds. Vote The Shape - if only because it's funny, and to change my mind. Thank you and goodnight.

[napoleonic-sexyman-tournament]

Given some discourse kicking off in the tags, it feels like the right time for a reminder:

The question of this bracket is not who is politically right. It is who you would fuck (or date if you prefer) if given the opportunity.

You can disagree with the figure's politics and still think they're hot.