#digital mining humor

[satireinfo]

9 Out of 10 People Pretend to Understand Cryptocurrency

Study Finds 9 Out of 10 People Pretend to Understand Cryptocurrency: The Blockchain of Bluffing From NFTs to Gas Fees, Everyone’s Talking Crypto—But Nobody Knows What They’re Saying Written in Silicon Valley, California, by Crypto N. Misunderstood Silicon Valley, California – A shocking study has unveiled what many suspected: 9 out of 10 people who claim to understand cryptocurrency are, in…

[purple-raspberries]

I have a sense of humor sometimes. He would NOT tolerate nonsense regarding his shop!

OG post:

[roz-ani]

I hope we'll get to see more big-eyed Pomni CUZ JUST LOOK AT HER! SHE'S SO CUTE!

[shinymoonbraixen]

Bro

Whoever made this deserves a raise. I mean, this Undertale x My Hero art is BEAUTIFUL 💖💖

Actually, I asked my mom if she knows what Undertale is and she has never heard of it apparently 🤣🤣🤣

[ampliflexcommerce]

BUY NOW/BILI NA🛒

LINK IN MY BIO

[darling]

[megdchristopher]

For the #Drawlloween prompt ‘It Lives in the Mountain’ - I finished it yesterday with moments to spare, and then realized I left the ground blank. Oh well. The point of doing this art challenge is to not get too precious with my work.

There are few things I love more than mash-ups and puns

[animezinglife]

Me: I wish there was more solo Elain art!

Commenter: Draw your own?

Me:

[zanthiakhalaplace]

A really bad pun involving donuts and medieval art! Come check my designs and products anytime here: http://www.redbubble.com/es/people/juditangelo https://www.teepublic.com/user/juditangelozk Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juditangelo_zk/

[autumnalfoxfire]

Find the mountain of your dreams below: https://autumnalfoxfire.com/2024/03/10/fools-gold/

[brown-eye-bandida]

D&D Shenanigans: Stormwreck Isle, DMed by my friend.

1) My sorcererlock’s lawful good couatl deity and neutral evil dragon patron watching her use their blessing/pact magic

2) My sorcererlock using her blessing/pact magic to murder a pixie (justified)

3) Our leonin barbarian confronting the tortle rogue that stole his croissant (he was displeased)

[davekatzdefensesquad]

[louisupdates]

With the first quarter of the 21st century coming to an end, Billboard has been looking back on the 25 Greatest Pop Stars of the Past 25 Years. Below, we take a deeper look into the solo career of Louis Tomlinson — one of the members of our No. 22 pop stars, One Direction — and how his songwriting, originally honed in 1D, has helped him develop into one of the group’s strongest breakout artists.

When One Direction officially went on hiatus in 2015, Zayn Malik dropped Mind of Mine in 2016, Harry Styles’ eponymous LP dropped in 2017, Niall Horan followed with Flicker later that year and Liam Payne’s First Time EP arrived in 2018. Louis Tomlinson, however, took his time with releasing a full project – and entered an era of healing and self-discovery that saw him realizing his potential as one of 1D’s most self-actualized artists, even if not necessarily the starriest.

Even before going solo, Tomlinson showed he was meant for breakthrough success while in One Direction. Longtime Directioners know that Tomlinson wrote more songs in One Direction than any other member, penning long standing hits including “Perfect,” “History” and “Fool’s Gold” and proving his fortitude as a songwriter who understands lyrical cleverness and crafting the indescribably catchy refrains necessary to produce arena-ready hits. Beyond his musical abilities, Tomlinson’s sense of humor and friendship with fellow 1D members also ensured fans had a soft spot for him.

However, when he did go solo, the road was slippery at first. He teamed up with Steve Aoki for his first solo release “Just Hold On” in December 2016, and just three days before its release, Tomlinson’s mother died of leukemia. He still took the stage to perform the song on The X Factor, the first public testament to the star’s strength and dedication to his musical craft.

Tomlinson’s resilience amid adversity continued as he navigated the music industry. The star signed with Epic Records in 2017 and released a few singles – including “Miss You” and the Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals-assisted “Back to You.” While the infectious hooks to both tracks could have easily solidified Tomlinson as a pop mainstay, the two singles didn’t perform as well as expected on the charts: “Just Hold On” peaked at No. 52 on the Billboard Hot 100 and “Back to You” hit No. 40, while “Miss You” missed the chart altogether. Ultimately, a full-length album never materialized with Epic Records.

Tomlinson shortly got back on his feet, as he always does, and signed with Arista Records in 2019 – where he honed his talent as a songwriter, this time feeling comfortable enough to tackle more vulnerable topics in his music. His first release under the label was “Two of Us,” a heart-wrenching tribute to his late mother. “I know you’ll be looking down/ Swear I’m gonna make you proud/ I’ll be living one life for the two of us,” he sings in the chorus, giving a glimpse into what would soon become a musical career full of honesty and vulnerability.

Unfortunately, shortly after its release, another hardship struck Tomlinson’s life when his 18-year-old sister Fizzy died of an accidental overdose. Both the release of “Two of Us” and the tragedy that followed showed just how close Tomlinson’s community of fans is, as they showered him with online love and support in the months that followed.

After taking some much-deserved time to heal, he announced in August of that year that his debut solo album was on its way – and shortly after, he released a follow-up single, the rock-leaning, drumline-driven “Kill My Mind.” Tomlinson admitted that he finally found his stride. “I’m actually really proud and relieved to finally find my place, find my lane musically,” he told Hits Radio Breakfast at the time, indicating a moment of relief amid his turbulent few years.

Tomlinson’s debut solo album, Walls, arrived in January 2020 and while it hit the Billboard 200‘s top 10, it was met with mixed reviews from critics, who suggested that the heart he wanted to portray wasn’t quite there. His growth outside of commercial success proved otherwise, as he had been spending the past few years building a solid identity not only as an artist, but also as a person. While some of the other One Direction alums are still finding their footing with their solo sounds to this day, Tomlinson grew strongly into an instrumentation-focused pop-rock artist whose lyrics go beyond the cookie cutter sentiments you might expect from a former boy band member.

And soon, all the hard work – both personally and musically – finally paid off. Faith in the Future, his 2022 sophomore solo album, debuted at No. 1 on the Official U.K. Albums Chart. In the United States, Faith In The Future debuted at No. 2 on Billboard’s Top Album Sales chart, and at No. 5 on the all-genre Billboard 200, his highest-charting set yet on both tallies. The album’s success, as well his sold-out live shows on its accompanying tour, not only showed the still-standing Directioner devotion to Tomlinson, but also made it clear that he picked up a slew of new fans along the way.

Tomlinson’s self-awareness was evident on the album’s lead single, “Bigger Than Me.” “When somebody told me I would change/ I was afraid, I don’t know why/ ‘Cause so does the world outside, I’ve realized/ It’s bigger than me,” he sings – indicating that the key for solo success all along was being himself, and letting go of the pressure that fame brings.

While Tomlinson has still yet to score the major chart hits stateside that his 1D bandmates essentially achieved right away – and has been more focused on his 28 clothing line the past couple years – he’s proven that he doesn’t need traditional pop crossover success to have a bright future ahead of him. With another couple albums and tours that continue to establish his identity and expand his artistry, it wouldn’t be shocking to see him making the jump to arenas in the not-distant future. Louis’ solo career may not have gotten off to the perfect start, but it just might end up being perfect for him in the long-term anyway.

[navybrat817]

Does Stud know what Smartie is getting him or will he try to get a hint?

He doesn't know, nonnie.

Cookies and Hints

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky tries to get hints about his gifts as you bake together.

Word Count: Over 1.1k

Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, teasing, implied smut, humor, slight feels (it’s me, okay), talk of celebrating Christmas, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?).

A/N: More short and sweet for Stud and Smartie. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

There was something sweet about baking with Bucky. The kitchen became a hub for communication and collaboration as you made something tasty together. It was a way to be fully engaged and present with each other while creating new and happy memories. You looked forward to those moments together.

Even when Stud tried to drive you crazy.

You pinched the bridge of your nose before you scooped the last of the cookie dough onto the tray. “For the twentieth time, I'm not telling you what your gifts are,” you said.

You had just finished wrapping his presents this morning since you didn't want to wait until Christmas Eve. How you managed to sneak them in without him getting a glimpse was a proud moment since he was much stealthier than you. You wanted to surprise him and he was making it more and more difficult.

Especially since he kept giving you puppy dog eyes.

“First, I did not ask you twenty times,” he said, leaning against the counter as he watched you open the oven and carefully placed the tray in. “Second, I’m not asking for you to tell me what the presents are. All I asked for was a hint.”

“See, but if I give you any hints, you’ll figure out what they are,” you told him, setting the timer on the stove. “You're a smart man.”

“I appreciate the compliment,” he smiled almost sheepishly, which made you smile in return. He deserved all the praise. If no one else would give it to him, you would. “But I really think one tiny little hint wouldn't hurt.”

He doesn't know when to quit, does he?

“You were totally that child that went looking for your presents, weren't you? Wait, did you go into my room?”

Bucky placed a hand on his chest, a wounded look in his blue eyes. “Do you really think I'd go into your room without your permission?” he asked, the corner of his lip twitching. “I could also get the cats to ‘play’ with the wrapping paper. I mean, you can't blame them if they’re curious.”

Fair.

You thrust a finger in his face as you spun toward him. “James Buchanan Stud Barnes, don't you dare trick the cats into doing your dirty work. And I am not giving you a single hint and that is final,” you stated.

Of course, your attempt at intimidation didn't deter Bucky. Not when he locked eyes with you and wrapped his lips around the tip of your finger. You sucked in a deep breath when he flicked his tongue against it, the same way he did against your clit when he went down on you.

Oh, fuck.

As if he knew your womb clenched and panties dampened when he released the digit from his sinful mouth, he smirked and winked. “You sure about that?”

Jutting your chin out, you nodded. “Yeah because I used your full name, so… There.”

There's that stellar education of mine put to good use.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” you began, reaching over to grab the used mixing bowl with as much grace as possible when he tampered down a laugh. “I need to clean this and you need to stop distracting me.”

“You know we can clean together and you can still give a clue,” he pointed out, reaching for the bottom of his T-shirt as you walked to the sink. “And if I really want to distract you, I can take this off.”

“Keep your shirt on,” you ordered, thinking it over as you turned on the water. “For now.”

You faced the wall as you rinsed the bowl, determined to stay strong. You wouldn't break. Bucky didn't need any hints. Not a single one.

You straightened up when he came up behind you and placed a hand on each side of the sink. Why did he have to smell so good? You didn't turn around, but you felt your heart speed up as the heat rolled off his firm body.

“Come on, Smartie,” he breathed low against your neck, his nose brushing along your skin. “Just a little hint and I won't bother you for the rest of the day.”

Maybe I want you to bother me.

You closed your eyes and almost dropped the bowl when his lips followed the path. “You're not playing fair,” you whined.

He chuckled as he pushed against you, letting you feel the outline of his cock. “Neither are you,” he groaned when you moved your hips back against him.

“You started it.”

“And I'm more than happy to finish it,” he promised, gently nipping over your pulse. “As long as it's inside you.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Before you allowed him to do exactly that, you managed to spin around in the cage he made so you could face him. “You really want a hint?”

His face softened as he reached behind you to shut off the water. “Only if you really want to give me one.”

“Okay. Here it is,” you said, leaning in so your mouth touched his ear and smiling when he shivered. You wanted his heart to race the same way yours did. “Your gifts were all bought or crafted with love.”

It wasn't a clue at all, but it would tell Bucky all he needed to know. That no matter what you gave him, you selected and crafted them with care. Because he was your special guy and you wanted to spoil him a little.

The way he no doubt spoiled you.

You smiled widened as you leaned your head back. You thought baking cookies together was the happy memory you would make, but seeing the happiness in his eyes as he gazed at you warmed your heart. It was a look you cherished being on the receiving end of.

“That’s all I needed to hear,” he gently admitted, his gaze drifting to your lips before he closed the gap and kissed them. “Now that I have my hint, I need to taste you before those cookies finish baking.”

Yes. Spread my legs wide open and taste how sweet I am.

“Mmm. I may need to finish cleaning,” you teased, his large hands gripping your hips as he moved you away from the sink.

“Why clean now since we’re going to make it dirty?” He questioned, lifting you and placing on an empty spot on the counter. “And after I’ve had my fill, you’re gonna let me frost your cookie.”

“Bucky, no,” you giggled as he tugged at your pants, knowing full well you’d let him fill you up.

“Bucky, yes,” he smiled.

And as the scent of the sweet and sugary cookies filled the kitchen, that was exactly what he did.

We know he'll love his gifts. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[katebishopsbow]

YOU'RE JUST A MAN, IT'S JUST WHAT YOU DO • CARLOS SAINZ

pairing: carlos sainz x reader (18+)

summary: you should have known better than to believe in carlos' loving kisses, sweet lies, and all the times he called you his. because he's just a man, it's just what he does.

(inspired by lana del ray's song, norman fucking rockwell)

tags: explicit sexual content (minors dni), unprotected sex, choking, praise kink, spit, dirty talking, degradation, finger sucking, angst, no mentions of y/n

word count: 2.1k

(image is not mine)

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───────

You should have known better.

The first time you met Carlos Sainz was the night he had won the Singapore Grand Prix. You were ordering a drink for yourself at the bar when all of a sudden a figure appeared beside you, and you watched with intrigue as he ordered himself a tequila shot before offering to pay for your tab. He turned to look at you, the smile of a winner on his face as he winked not-so-subtly, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

Carlos was taken aback, considering that it was the first time someone laughed at his face at his attempt to flirt. Was his wink that awkward? Shit, maybe he should have practiced his winks more in the mirror because now he had totally embarrassed himself in front of a pretty girl. 

“That was adorable,” you chuckled at the now rosy-cheeked man – who would have thought the confident guy moments ago with the crazy good looks could be so shy and precious? Upon introducing yourselves to each other, you realized that Carlos was way more than just good looks. 

He had a great sense of humor that matched yours surprisingly well, he was respectful and charming, and he had some really interesting stories to tell as a Formula 1 driver. So that night you two talked over drinks, learning about each other while you downed shot after shot to celebrate his pole position, danced a little when one of your favourite songs came on, and drunkenly stumbled back to his hotel room with fervent kisses and desperate touch.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

“You’re taking my cock so well… what a good little slut for me…” he whispered into your ears as he pushed himself into you again and again, relishing in the sweet moans that escaped your lips each time his cock touched the deepest parts of your cunt. You were so tight, so perfect for him, and he wished he could stay inside you forever.

You made an almost embarrassing moan when his hand reached down and wrapped his fingers around your throat, restricting your airway just enough to send fireworks of tingles up your veins. “You look so pretty with my hands around you, mi amor. Fuck…” Carlos mumbled against your lips, smirking as he watched your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Carlos,” you moaned, “Carlos, please.” He adored the way you say his name, all whiny and breathy and so good for him. He loved it even more when you begged for him to go deeper, to fuck you harder, to claim you as his with every thrust of his hips. “You’re such a good girl for saying please, aren’t you?” he asked as he tightened his grip around your throat, and you had to grapple the sheets from the intense pleasure surging through you.

Carlos leaned down and captured your lips in a feverish kiss, moaning into your mouth as he let his tongue run over your bottom lip. When he finally pulled away, a string of spit connected your lips to his and he couldn’t help the moan that fell from his lips at the lewd sight.

When his thumb pushed against your lips, you eagerly opened up your mouth and welcomed the intrusion, swirling your tongue around his finger before hollowing out your cheek to suck on it. “Fuck… look at you, baby,” Carlos smirked down at you, drinking in how sinful you had looked lying before him. 

Then he pushed his finger further in, pressing on your tongue with a slight pressure that made you gag around his slick digit. “That’s right, choke on it. Deeper, there you go… Good girl.” The praises were never-ending, pouring out of his lips in a way that only seemed to fuel your eagerness to please.

Each movement of his hips was languid and deep, forcing you to feel every inch of his cock snapping into you again and again. “Feels so good…” you drooled on his finger, your words beginning to slur together as you inched closer toward your sweet release. “Yeah? Fucking take it, then,” he moaned shamelessly while his hand dropped to where you two were connected, and began to rub tantalisingly slow circles against your sensitive clit.

The whine you let out was obscene, whispering out a few broken “Mhm… please” was all you could manage from the heavenly sensation that was beginning to crawl up your spine. “Shit… I’m gonna come inside this tight little cunt and you’ll be a good girl and let me, won’t you?” Carlos muttered above you with a knowing grin, pulling out momentarily before fucking back into you just as deep.

The truth was that you would let him do whatever he wanted to you, and you would obey all that he said because you wanted to be such a good fucking girl for him. The movement of his hips gradually became more erratic, fingertips grasping onto your thighs with such pressure that you were certain bruises would form the next day – a sign that you belonged to Carlos.

“I’m close, so fucking close, baby.” He let out a shuddering breath, eyebrows scrunching together in pleasure as he drank in the sight of you sprawled out under him, taking his cock so well. That’s when you lifted up your hips and pushed back into him to meet him halfway, greedily chasing that pleasure that you both craved and needed. 

Carlo’s reaction was instant, letting out a guttural groan desperately, “Oh god, please please please, don’t stop –” You felt yourself fluttering in response to his pleas, such a stark contrast to how dominant he was mere moments ago only seemed to push you teetering over the edge.

“Carlos, I’m coming, please –” The words in your head morphed into broken moans and breathy whines, and you could only squeeze your eyes shut in complete ecstasy while you pulsed around his thick length. “That’s it, baby, ohhh fuck you feel so good,” he groaned loudly as his face contorted in bliss, pounding into you again and again before his hips finally stilled and spilled inside you.

When Carlos leaned forward to drop a soft kiss on your lips, feeling the slowed thrusts of his hips while he fucked his come back into you lazily, you moaned out his name in a way that he wished he could hear forever. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered so tenderly, and when he wrapped his arms around you that night, stroking your hair in a way that felt so domestic and gentle as he lulled you to sleep, you almost believed him.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

You didn’t expect to keep in contact with Carlos after that night in Singapore, but neither of you seemed to be able to stay away from each other. And before you even noticed it, the late-night texts and secretive hotel room meetings turned into planned dates and daily messages where he would share with you about his day.

He would send you pictures of his whereabouts throughout the day, update you on his practice schedules, and share with you all the mundane little things that happened to him daily. You found yourself waiting for his texts, missing him whenever he was in training and had to be away from his phone, and you should have known better but you allowed yourself to indulge in whatever this was with Carlos. 

“I miss you, mi amor.” Your heart swelled with adoration at his words on the phone, smiling like an idiot as you replied to him, “I miss you too, Carlos.” Phone calls with Carlos were your favourite part of the day whenever he had to fly halfway across the world for a race, just hearing his voice filled you with so much comfort that the miles of distance between you two became unimportant. 

“I wish I could be with you all the time, baby,” he smiled into his phone, wishing you could abandon everything at home and fly with him to every race weekend. You really should have known better, but how could you not believe him when he said your name with such fondness, held your hands with such certainty, and wrapped his arms around you like he never wanted to let you go?

You thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with Carlos – oh, how naive of you. Because all of a sudden, his texts became less frequent, the calls with him became shorter, and you could feel him slipping away from your fingertips. You asked him why he was being so distant and cold, but he’d always manage to come up with some reasons.

His training went on longer than he expected, he was so exhausted after the race that he immediately went to bed, he accidentally left his phone in his hotel room. You were no idiot, those were all just terrible excuses – and no matter how much you tried to deny it and convince yourself that Carlos wouldn’t do such a thing, you knew what was bound to happen.

Perhaps he had gotten bored of you, or maybe he was intimidated by the thought of committing to a relationship with you – you would never be sure what the reason was behind his sudden change of heart. But all you knew was that one morning when you decided to not text him first and see if he would be the one to send you a message, he never did, and that was the end of it. 

You were almost embarrassed to admit that a part of you expected him to reach out, to maybe send you a simple “good morning” text like you always used to do. Was that really too much to ask for? Perhaps it was the bare minimum for someone who had genuinely cared for you, but it certainly was too much to ask for from Carlos.

When you were tossing and turning in bed one night, your phone screen lit up from a text notification, and your heart almost beat out of your chest when you saw Carlos’ name appear. The frantic beating of your heart slowed, and replacing the excitement was a painful ache that tugged at your heartstrings. 

You up? Need you right now.

Maybe a part of you did want to respond to his late-night texts and dial his number, to hear him moan your name again the way he used to, to relish in the way he called you his beautiful girl, to believe in all the fucking lies of how much he wanted to be with you – but you stopped yourself before you could reply him back, shut off your phone, and feel your tears soaking through your pillow as you tried to drown that pain with sleep.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

“Carlos Sainz and new girlfriend Rebecca Donaldson spotted on romantic golf date” 

You were lying in bed when you came across the news article, and you forced yourself to click off the page albeit wanting so badly to read the words you knew were going to shatter your heart. This was always how things were going to end, with Carlos’ complete indifference while he left you to wallow in sorrow, picking up and mending the pieces of your broken heart alone.

You should have known better than to believe in the words of Carlos Sainz. You should have known he was lying when he told you that he missed you, that he wanted you, that he wished you two could’ve been more. You should have never allowed yourself to get used to his warmth and kisses and embraces because none of them was real – nothing was ever real when it came to him.

He would never know the way you had to hurt, he would never understand half the shit he put you through even if he had tried. You would never let him know how he completely destroyed you with his sweet lies and feigned affection, and the tears that you shed for him in all the sleepless nights that left you questioning if you were ever worthy of love. 

Wiping off the tears that ran down your cheeks, you reached for your phone to delete his number from your contacts and blocked him on every platform. You hesitated for a second when your finger hovered over the red button, and somewhere deep within you wished things could have been different – but you pressed it anyway because you owed it to yourself to erase someone like him from your life. 

You should have known better.  Carlos Sainz is just a man. It’s just what he does.

[ampliflexcommerce]

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