#digging through my old posts

[kirkypet]

Don’t have a dvd player anymore, so no more commentary 😩

Sense and Sensibility - A commentary by Emma Thompson

[turbo-tsundere]

Content warning for gore, blood, burns & body horror.

A king with no crown and a holy fool.

(The element of venom/poison, stabbing/puncture wounds and destruction of a whole body is present in both of their deaths. Kokichi's pristine white clothes also end up being shoved down the toilet, and the poison made it difficult for him to breathe, so there's plausible callback to Miu also. Karma at its finest?)

If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner.

(Don't mind them, they're just spilling their guts)

(...)

(Concepts for scenes from a Gonta-centric survival horror game I'll never make. But it was fun to daydream about - maybe one day I'll finish other sketches and doodles relating to it into a more presentable state. The Cat Lady OST was playing on constant repeat while I drew this - Lily of the Valley, Don't Follow the Light, String, Plainwalker, Early Winter, Storytelling, Susan's Blue Sheep (alone again) - those in particular are now stuck in my brain when I look at those drawings, and what I imagine the "game's" mood to be like, at least the opening segment.)

(I felt both heartbroken and like a monster when drawing this one... But I wanted to draw something that doesn't conveniently erase nor tuck his mangled, swollen face away from view. Sure... in game it looks goofy. But I think mockingly disfiguring him was the point in all of this, too. And given the venom, the Schmidt pain index, how it rates some wasp species, the fact that those robot wasps could be packed with anything necessary really... it had to be awful. Really, every stage of Gonta's execution was excruciating and enough to kill a person on its own, but due to his strength he likely suffered through them all. I remember begging in my head he was at least spared the flame, that he was already gone by this point... But it's foolish to pretend it definitely was the case.)

I wanted to post something new, but I was either busy, ill, or focused on something else, so another sketchdump with oldies and wips it is. This time strictly 2020-21 stuff, drawn during the first few months after finishing the game; mostly to process the post-game/Ch4 sorrows. All very emotionally raw, very edgy stuff that I felt, to be honest, too shy to show before.

Like with any wip I posted before, I do hope to finish some of them properly one day, even though I don't know when. But that's fine, I've signed up for a very long ride with the bug man. Taking it easy is the priority.

Speaking of long-term projects, maybe there's no need to, but I do want to talk about my Gonta fancomic, so here goes.

It's a bit long, so I will continue under the cut.

(Some panel teasers first! ...Gonta sanity fine.)

I took a few months long break from personal drawings - an *actual* break, not just sitting in front of a screen, tired, stewing in guilt that I'm tired, and that I can't magically muscle through burnout, or headache, or exhaustion.

My brain was stuck in a loop of berating myself for underperforming, not doing well enough, for taking so long on "mere" 27 pages, when in the past I could finish a 90-page webcomic chapter much faster. I wouldn't let myself rest, because I didn't do enough; but I couldn't do enough, because I didn't allow myself to rest. And it's been going on for months and months.

What a stupid, unconstructive thing to do to myself. I was only spiralling down, intimidating and overwhelming myself with work on the one thing I specifically wanted to keep doing out of joy, not ambition and pedantism. So I decided to just say "fuck it" and stop for a while. Like, actually stop, do something else and try to feel unapologetic about it.

So I briefly took up sewing, a creative activity I had no personal stake in, and then I started PVP-ing in DS3 (sorry if I happened to kick your butt in there. Rest assured my butt gets kicked just as much), which did wonders, too, as non-artistic pastime.

And, in the end, it seems it worked.

I finally feel this internal drive to draw again. Sadly, I can't spend all of my free time on the doujin (I might need to open commissions soon), so my pacing will still be glacial... But there was an internal change from "I have to, I have to, I must..." back to "I want to". And this is all that matters.

Still, that makes me think... while technically I don't have deadlines, the comic has taken so much longer than I thought it would - and it will take a while still. Thus, I wonder if I shouldn't change my approach re publishing it.

The initial idea was to post it all at once when it's fully finished, but I debate releasing it one page at a time instead, while it's still work in progress.

Thing is, I don't think it would be good for overall pacing. I don't want to sacrifice it, plus I can't guarantee regular uploads, esp since I don't exactly work on the pages in chronological order (While the first page is done, it was drawn after I finished a few in the middle & at the end; and there are still a few important pages/panels in first half I'm a bit too afraid of touching just yet, wanting to do them justice. This is how I work in general, jumping around rather than sticking to overly strict linear order.)

The compromise would be to post like 3-5 pages per post, making it so each upload covers a specific scene, however, same issue arises - I can't promise regular uploads. In the end it feels like a half-measure. But maybe it's a good idea, despite that impression?

There's a secret option, too - if this takes absurdly long, my plan was to just post the storyboard, after replacing some panels/pages with already finished drawings. The thing is readable as is, and long finished on that front anyway. My personal deadline for that was "right before my current lease ends", but, well… I plan on extending it anyway, and again... it's just a back-up option for when everything else fails. In the end, I just want to finish the comic, and present it how it's meant to be presented, however long it will take.

All those things considered, I'll stick to the original plan for now... and then we shall see. I simply wanted to share where things stand currently, and where they might go.

And that's it! If you've read this far, thank you. See you in the undetermined future.

[justworthlessreblogs]

there is no heterosexual explanation for this image

[fictionadventurer]

A Biltmore Christmas may be the first Hallmark movie to drive me to fanfic.

[zyannil]

Mini comic??? From July 9th

⬇️⬇️⬇️

[boygirlctommy]

remember after ctommy died when it was hashtag controversial and problematic to draw his corpse because "hes a minor" .have we grown as a people. smiles

[kekithepancake25]

went digging through some old art stuff and found an old pencil sketch of elfilis’ spear so I inked it :3

[st4rstudent]

Old art and sketches bc I I have a bunch of wips and I don't see them being completed in the foreseeable future

SURPRISE DOODLE ATTACK!!!

[ganymedian]

I don’t remember why I created this OC

[buster-keaton]

from the moving picture world magazine, november 1920

transcript under cut

transcript:

Buster Keaton Disregards Birthday to Finish Film

Buster Keaton spent his birthday working before the camera in the closing scenes of his fourth two-reel comedy, "Neighbors". Buster is serious in his occupation of making people laugh, and a long October day in California was coming to a close before the nimble comedian remembered that it was the occasion of his twenty-fifth anniversary, but he refused to doff his makeup and comedy clothes until the last scene was "shot".

That evening, however, Buster was the guest of honor at a birthday party given by his parents, Joseph and Myra Keaton, in their residence in the Hollywood picture colony. The elder Keatons and Buster made up the famous knockabout comedy team of the Three Keatons in vaudeville.

At Buster's birthday party the entire personnel of his studios, from Lou Anger, business manager for Joseph M. Schenck, down to the office boy, Luke McGluke, was present. Other guests were Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, the Metro stars, Viola Dana and Alice Lake; Shirley Mason, Miss Dana's sister; Lew Cody and Bernard Durning.

[moe-broey]

I def wanna color these when I have the energy BUT..... back on a Pokemon kick.... ever so slightly......... also second sketch is so rough SORRY (I DO WANNA CLEAN IT UP!!! But I was mostly focused on conceptualizing the outfits!!!!)

I have soooo many other sketches too but I wanna save em for later.... but let it be known, this is just an elaborate excuse to play dress-up. Esp for Moe I'm gonna be so real, it has SUCH A SILLY OUTFIT and it is SO. SOOOOOO jackass rival coded. Guy who is gonna pick fights and cause problems for NO reason. Or for gay reasons. Most likely gay reasons tbh

[moonchild-in-blue]

I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙

(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)

[crimeboys]

monsterloot fic masterpost

multi-chapter

ignite the light: dsmp, canon divergence/reincarnation au/political drama, techno-centric sbi, where technoblade is new in town and everyone keeps trying to make his day worse (6/14 chapters)

the sun was sinking: dsmp, superhero au, tommy-centric crimeboys + discduo, where tommy has been taken by dream to become the best hero the city has ever seen but keeps having dreams about a man he doesn't know but could swear he does (4/?? chapters)

washed up: dsmp, modern au, wilbur-centric tntduo + crimeboys, where wilbur and tommy are washed up actors and quackity is wilbur's long-suffering agent trying to move them along (6/?? chapters)

ache performing apathy: dsmp, modern au, wilbur-centric sbi, where semi-estranged wilbur comes to his father for help without actually asking for it and finds a whole new family has been created in his place (1/?? chapters)

canon oneshot

it's nice to be wanted (2.8k): dsmp, pre-prison break, techno-centric peerpressureduo, where technoblade and michael meet for the first time

nothing is wrong, all of the time (3.8k): dsmp, exile snapshot, tommy-centric discduo, where dream shares a secret with tommy

26 going on 40 (4.7k): dsmp, post-inconsolable differences, wilbur-centric crimeboys, where wilbur has lost track of the days and tommy reminds him

your world and mine (1.7k): osmp, vaguely in s3, jack-centric rocketduo, where jack gets a wetsuit that lets him visit niki

crime and peace (1.8k): dsmp, post-inconsolable differences, wilbur-centric crimeboys, where wilbur and tommy have a not-so candid conversation about burgers

oh, how i want to be free (24.2k): dsmp, post-prison break timeloop, tubbo-centric cabinetduo + beeduo, where tubbo gets trapped in a timeloop and finds it's not all that different than before

the original and best (of men) (1.8k): dsmp, post-boundless sands, wilbur-centric crimeboys, where wilbur is in utah and haunted by the things he left behind

has the moon lost her memory? (4.4k): dsmp, post-nuke finale, crimeboys-centric crimeboys, where three guys visit a gas station and wilbur doesn't understand why tommy doesn't recognize him

best friends (1.6k): dsmp, post-prison break, tommy-centric clingyduo, where tommy visits a sick friend

a good pillow (3k): dsmp, post-prison break, techno-centric emerald duo, where steve is mad at technoblade and phil clowns him for it

our Love is God (354 words): dsmp, poem, wilbur-centric crimeboys, where wilbur haunts a body that is a country that is a brother

squeeze (3.2k): dsmp, post-inconsolable differences, wilbur-centric sand duo, where wilbur tells phil about leaving, tommy, and how those are connected

we're not getting better (1.6k): dsmp, post-tubbo apology, tommy-centric clingyduo, where tommy and tubbo discuss wilbur

moderation (8.1k): dsmp, post-boundless sands/the end of las nevadas, quackity-centric viceduo, where quackity thinks wilbur is dead and he and tommy decide to drink about it

in the middle (1k): dsmp, set vaguely before inconsolable differences, technoblade-centric bedrock bros, where technoblade and tommy find reconciliation through breakfast

buzz (1.4k): dsmp, set during burger arc before ho16, tubbo-centric cabinetduo, where tubbo and quackity talk about love

three-man operation (4.2k): dsmp, set vaguely sometime after bust, tommy-centric benchtrio, where tommy, tubbo, and ranboo decide to go sledding so of course a heist must occur first

(and burst) (4.1k): dsmp, post-boundless sands, continuation of “squeeze”, tommy-centric angelduo, where tommy talks to phil about wilbur leaving

we can make it up again (5.2k): dsmp, set sometime after ho16/jailbreak, tommy-centric crimeboys, where wilbur gets a cat and tommy is NOT having it

au oneshot

they can't take the sky (4.2k): dsmp, zombie apocalypse au, wilbur-centric crimeboys + quirkyduo, where a paranoid wilbur struggles in the apocalypse and saves a couple of teenagers who return the favor

something like revival (10k): dsmp, modernish paranormal au, wilbur-centric crimeboys, where wilbur and tommy were friends one day brothers the next and now try to make a life in an apartment that may or may not be haunted

flying (3.6k): dsmp, circus au, tina-centric tinarose, where tina is in love with the circus flyer but knows that the job will always come first for hannah

everything you hid inside (23.6k): dsmp, modern + powers au, wilbur-centric sbi, where wilbur secretly has reality warping powers he refuses to use and then he gets deliriously sick

maybe the path is gory (whatever it takes) (6.4k): dsmp, zombie apocalypse au, quackity-centric las nevadas, where quackity will do whatever it takes to make las nevadas great

blood and cigarettes (10.9k): dsmp, vampire + fae au, wilbur-centric tntduo, where it is the 1800s and wilbur is trying to kill the local priest

close your eyes (4.2k): dsmp, hunger games au, wilbur-centric crimeboys, where wilbur tries to give tommy a moment of peace in the middle of the games

the brains of this operation (3k): dsmp, zombie apocalypse au, same universe as "they can't take the sky", tubbo-centric fireflyduo, where tubbo and dream discuss the ways they are similar

as my eyes shut (3.5k): dsmp, hannibal au, wilbur-centric tntduo, where wilbur is having a breakdown and makes impulsive decisions to gain some feeling of control

two guards (1.2k): dsmp, modern au, cabinetduo, where quackity and tubbo are hosting a funeral

the dark of our graves (4.2k): dsmp, hunger games au, same universe as “close your eyes”, wilbur-centric tntduo, where wilbur and quackity dig a grave

neither of us will be missed (23.4k): dsmp, modern minecraft/post-exile au, wilbur-centric crimeboys, where wilbur is a police officer investigating tommy innit for the murder of dream

break me, i am bread (15.3k): dsmp, royalty au, wilbur-centric tntduo, where wilbur is marrying sally, in love with quackity, and terrified of disappointing his father who doesn’t appear onscreen once

[0x4468c7a6a728]

[geoff-wigington-everyday]

Day Ninety-Three

[miscellaneous--bones]

posting this year's summary of art a little early because the one i picked for december is fine and all the months i am disappointed by are too old to do anything about. gonna stick my old ones under the cut cuz idk how else to find them on my blog rn

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