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joequiinn · 6 months

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The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | pt. 1

[chap two] | [all chapters here]

summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, not-quite-enemies-to-lovers

a/n: Was I the only one who turned 18 a month into their senior year and then proceeded to spiral and become The Worst version of themself possible?? Well, this fic is semi-inspired by that shitty part of my life lmao. Reader figure skates though. I can’t figure skate, hurts my feet lol. I never expected to write a fake dating story, but Eddie Munson has had me bewitched for nearly 2 years now, so here we go.

(if you'd like to be added to a tag list, pls let me know!)

wc: 3.9k

Chapter One

The idea came to you during a student council meeting as the class president was droning on about the ‘85 homecoming preparations: you needed to do something crazy, something completely and utterly out of character.

Maybe it was because of your ex breaking up with you just weeks before school started. Maybe it was that senior year itch. Maybe it was the realization that you were turning 18 next week. Hell, maybe you just woke up that morning with a strong sense that the things in your life were no longer satisfying you.

Whatever the cause, since the start of your senior year, you’ve just felt so off.

Your ex, Duncan, breaking up with you right before school started was a low blow, and an absolutely shitty feeling - you didn’t date much, but when you did, it was never the guy that ended things. It wasn’t shitty because you were in love and oh so heartbreak, it wasn’t shitty because you saw a future with him. It was shitty because of how goddamn embarrassing it was.

To your peers, you were a couple that made sense, and in fact people had been urging you to go out for a while. And, obviously, you had grown to like him, considering that you were in a relationship for six months - you never would have put up with him for that long if you didn’t actually like him. But the fact that he broke up with you, and not the other way around, left a sour, spiteful taste in your mouth.

So, perhaps it was that break-up that made you feel different this entire month. Or maybe it was your impending 18th birthday, which made you realize just how close you were to legal adulthood. Whatever the cause, every single aspect of your life up to this point suddenly came under your deep scrutiny. You just weren’t… happy?

That made it sound bad, but what were you enjoying right now? What got you excited every day? As you sat in the student council meeting, zoning out since the very start, you came to think that maybe you had nothing going on right now that you genuinely wanted in your life.

Hell, you weren’t even on the student council because you enjoyed it, Janet just dragged you into it back in your sophomore year. You figured she loved the sense of importance it gave her. She and everyone else in the council probably got off on how important they felt, the dictators of Hawkins High School.

You always ran in this crowd, and before you never questioned it. The popular kids, the rich kids, the successful kids. You don’t remember ever choosing these friends and acquaintances - if anything, it seemed that these peers were all a constant, as if they’d always been there from the very start. You figured it was the natural state of the world - as the daughter of one of the richest men in town, you were predestined to end up here. Not here as in the student council, surrounded by other spoiled rich kids debating the difference between turquoise and cyan. But here in an even broader sense - in a finely curated life, in all the “right” circles, on the path to either greatness or becoming the trophy wife of greatness.

Up until now, you’d never questioned it. Yes, mom and dad, you were a popular kid whose free time was fully booked between college prep, figure skating, student council, dates with a cookie-cutter boyfriend, and everything else under the sun. Yes, mom and dad, you were doing everything they all told you too because it would look great on your college applications, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, because that’s how things have always been done.

It started to dawn on you maybe a week or so into the school year just how mundane you were - you never questioned your time spent skating or on extracurriculars, you never went against the order of things as dictated by only the most popular of your peers. That’s just what was done, what was always done. But after your ex dared to break up with you, you came to realize recently that maybe all of this wasn’t what you wanted - maybe it was time to start making some choices for yourself instead of worrying what your parents told you or what your peers thought or what to do to keep your boyfriend semi-happy.

So, you started to consider what exactly it was that you wanted. And that proved to be more challenging than you anticipated, which probably would have sounded extremely pathetic if you had said it to any of the people sitting next to you.

Did you like figure skating? Of course, it was your idea after all. What you didn’t like was the pressure from your mother to train and become an Olympian, a feat that was never your intention when you took up the sport at six years old. Besides, you told her, you were way past the age for trials, you’d never get in (or, at least, that’s what you told her, because how the hell would you know whether or not there was a cut off age).

Did you like your friends? You thought so - you’d known them virtually your entire life, so you never questioned your relationship with them. But proximity didn’t necessarily go hand-in-hand with likeability. Maybe some of them you actually liked, but the rest? No, they were just around because they always had been.

Did you like your relationship before Duncan broke up with you? No, probably not. Of course, your opinion of him and that entire relationship was soured now, but even at the time, you were probably just going through the motions, doing things that couples do without any real heart in it.

So… What did you want? What did you actually like?

It was jarring to realize that your entire life had been dictated and finely tuned for you from the moment you were born, that even the things you wanted had been molded into new shapes by your parents or your peers or your teachers.

Once you realized how little of your life was in your own hands, you couldn’t get it out of your head. You always saw yourself as someone who was in control, as someone who couldn’t be told shit. And yet, you came to realize that that was far from the truth. It was as if suddenly everything about your life was something you hated. You hated your classes, you hated your friends, you hated running in the same circle as your ex, you hated all your obligations. Through the first few weeks of senior year, all you felt was frustration, disinterest, and absolute boredom with everything around you. Something had to change. And during the bullshit student council meeting, you became determined to make it happen.

So, over the course of that boring as all hell meeting, you tried to figure out what you wanted, and how you were going to get it. You set a goal for yourself, silly but helpful considering the structure you were so accustomed to: you’d set your plan in motion on your birthday. New year, new you, right?

Once you gave yourself that deadline, you then had to think about what exactly you were trying to accomplish - yes, you wanted to make some major changes, you wanted to, in a way, become a new person, but how were you going to do that?

You settled on four key things to keep in mind:

You wanted to piss off your parents big time - your dad barely acknowledged your existence and your mom coddled you, so actually upsetting them would be a feat unto itself. You had to become so awful that even your mother would stop making excuses for you.

You needed to drop your friends - the more you thought about all the people you grew up alongside, the more you realized that you weren’t particularly interested in relationships with any of them. Whether you made new friends or not wasn’t a priority, in fact you kind of liked the idea of just being left alone.

You had to figure out what you actually enjoyed - outside of skating, you had no idea what really interested you, what you would like to do with your life and your free time. You figured it was time to do some self reflection and focus on finding things that you’d actually enjoy.

And, most importantly, you had to get back at your ex. Yeah, it was stupid to be motivated by a boy, but nothing would make you happier than seeing him worked up and frustrated. Your focus wasn’t on trying to win him back or anything like that - you wanted to piss him off, to exact some kind of revenge for making you look like an idiot when he broke up with you at a party that all your friends had attended.

How you were going to accomplish these, however, was yet to be determined. But they were a damn good starting point, and they got you motivated to become an absolute nuisance to everyone around.

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The Friday following the student council meeting, you decided to first experiment with a little something, satiate a mild curiosity. To anyone else, it was probably the most mundane thing in the world, but to a high schooler who thought graduation was life or death, doing anything out of the ordinary felt nail-biting.

You were going to sit at a new lunch table.

You had just two days left until your birthday, until you’d officially set your plan in motion, so you still had a little more time to come up with something. So far, you couldn’t think of shit. You were already someone who was blunt and commanding and mean, whose thoughts and feelings were always on your face, so people were used to you being bossy and a little miserable - you couldn’t start being meaner or blunter, you just knew that wouldn’t be enough. Maybe you could start skipping class, maybe you could start flaking on friends, but somehow none of that felt like enough, like it wouldn’t make a statement. You had to really make an impression, to really set yourself up for a total ruination of your social status, you just hadn’t figured out how.

But a new lunch table was as good a starting point as any, right?

You chose a table at the far end of the lunchroom; customarily your group of friends, acquaintances, and ex sat centrally, surrounded by the jocks on one side and the academics on the other. The new table you chose was only occupied by two other people, a dorky little couple who looked at you funny when you sat as far from them as possible. In turn, you gave them an icy cold glare, prompting them to look away quickly, like you were a Medusa who could turn them to stone.

Your stupid little lunchroom plan was a bust, though. Five minutes into your peaceful lunch, your two closest friends, Amelia and Janet found you, each looking perplexed and put-off by your seat of choice. They looked around before lowering into the seats around you, their expression full of something akin to disgust, as if sitting at a different table was that offensive.

“What are we doing over here?” Amelia asked judgmentally, eyeing the couple at the opposite end of the table. Across the lunchroom, a few people (including Duncan) from your usual lunch table looked at you funny, “It’s like we’re exiled or something.”

So dramatic, you thought while staring harshly at her.

“Change of scenery.” You answered plainly, stabbing at the food in front of you. Amelia hummed in acknowledgement, but still made it quite clear that she didn’t agree with the decision.

“What, does this have something to do with Duncan?” She jabbed, receiving another nasty look from you, “So, he’s a jerk? Get over it.”

You should’ve known this idea was too simple to work. Of course they’d just follow you like the lemmings that they were, just as unable to make their own decisions as you were. Yeah, you definitely needed to try something bigger to scare them off.

Briefly, you thought that you could maybe tell them, just say point blank, “Amelia, Janet, I hate being around you and this friendship is done.” But, again, you figured that wouldn’t be good enough, that they’d laugh at your mean sense of humor even if you reiterated yourself. In this crowd, being mean was never enough to make your point, because all of you were nasty, not only to each other but to virtually everyone you met.

And despite your well-known attitude problem, you still cared about Amelia and Janet, flaws and all. These were the girls that you’d known since you were five years old, of course you worried about their feelings at least a little bit - nearly 13 years of friendship would do that to anyone. Guess you had more of a heart than you gave yourself credit for.

You definitely needed a foolproof plan to get out of this friendship, this social circle, this popular bubble that you’d always been trapped in. The friendship had to end without you saying so. You had to push them out until they finally gave up on you. Make it seem like it was their idea, that would definitely work on them.

As you schemed, Amelia and Janet chatted around you. Various acquaintances stopped by the table, all with the same question: what the hell were you guys doing sitting all the way out here? Even Duncan was amongst those that asked, trying to ignore the way you glared daggers at him. Amelia and Janet gave various responses, all of which put blame on you as if this simple little decision meant their utter ruination.

As Duncan was preparing to walk back to your usual lunch table, a commotion rose out in the hallway, the echo of rapid footfall drifting in through the doors. Multiple heads turned to face the cafeteria doors with curiosity, some people peeked out into the hall to check what the yelling was about, scurrying back to their friends to report what they’d seen. You, Amelia, Janet, and Duncan all waited silently, sharing raised brows and curious looks.

Not even a minute later, Eddie freaking Munson came crashing into the lunchroom, a look of total glee on his face as he cackled, not even remotely fazed by all the eyes on him. As he tumbled through the cafeteria doors, you jumped a little at the burst of sound. Eddie’s disruption turned everyone’s heads now, the lunchroom silent in shock and loathing as the resident outcast ran between tables, heading for the set of doors at the opposite end of the room. Your gaze was locked on the shit disturber as he blew past your table, carelessly running into Duncan in the process, but even that collision didn’t slow him down. Duncan yelled at him, but Eddie was focused on one goal, and if this were a cartoon you definitely would have seen dust kick up behind him from how quickly he was moving.

Not too far behind was Coach Miller, a look of absolute rage marring his puffy red face as he pursued Eddie. It didn’t even seem to cross his mind that he was making a fool of himself in front of the entire student body - his only focus was stopping the offender of whatever shenanigans currently pissed him off.

Your gaze turned back to the excited Eddie, an undeniable curiosity rising in you - what the hell did he do to piss off Coach Miller this bad? Sure, the coach was always pretty damn temperamental, but you couldn’t recall ever seeing him look quite this upset before.

Eddie paused at the cafeteria doors to turn and pull a mocking face at the coach before darting from the room, as if nothing in the world could touch him and he was unstoppable.

As Coach Miller disappeared after Eddie and students returned to their usual conversations, albeit with an air of awkwardness, you stared at the cafeteria doors thoughtfully.

That’s when an idea began to form.

You needed to take a page out of Eddie Munson’s book. If anyone in this school knew how to be a thorn in everyone’s side, it was him. So, you spent the remainder of your lunch brainstorming, trying to figure out how to channel even a sliver of Eddie’s energy; you only chimed into the conversation when someone spoke to you directly.

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In the middle of fifth period, you still weren’t quite sure what your game plan was, but you at least had a vague starting point. While your history teacher rambled on about some significant European war that you couldn’t begin to care about, you tapped your pencil as you thought about Eddie Munson (a sentence that very nearly grossed you out).

You’ve known about him since your freshman year - at the time, he was a year ahead of you, but since then he’d been held back. People always sneered when talking about him, as if Eddie was the most offensive thing they’d ever encountered, as if he was some kind of plague. He went against all social norms you’d learned up to that point, he was contradictory to everything you’d ever been taught about social conduct and likeability - he wore ratty clothes, listened to scary music, acted out in the most theatrical ways possible, and never seemed to give a shit what anyone thought.

You had never spoken to Eddie personally. Through the years you’d had a few classes together, including your math class this year, so you’ve witnessed some of his antics. But really, you knew nothing about the guy. Just the things that everyone else told you, and those things were nothing good. Whether or not Eddie was as bad as people said didn’t matter to you. His reputation was shit, and in this instance that’s exactly what you needed.

So, how were you going to ruin your senior year with the help of Eddie Munson? Well, at the very least, maybe you first had to have a conversation with him. It would be pretty stupid to walk up to him and go “hey, Munson, I know everyone here hates you, how about we chat and you make them hate me, too!”

Maybe you needed to find a way to hang out with him? Pretend to be friends long enough that the rest of the student body begins to ostracize you? With a little amused huff, an even worse thought crossed you: maybe you needed to pretend you were interested in Eddie Munson for a while, that was sure to piss just about everyone off. Especially Duncan.

But then the idea gave you pause.

You could not pretend to flirt with, or even date, Eddie fucking Munson. No chance in hell that would work. No way he would go for it, and no way you’d be able to tolerate him long enough to convince anyone that you were even remotely into him.

But… maybe?

Shit, what a stupid idea.

Or maybe it was a brilliant one.

You mulled it over a few minutes longer - if you were going to, somehow, convince Eddie Munson to pretend to date you, you needed to offer him something in exchange, that was obvious. You needed to give him a good reason to help you out, or this plan was never going to work. Its chances of success already seemed slim to none.

You had one idea, though you weren’t entirely certain if he’d go for it.

Your Uncle Tom was a cop, had been with the force your entire life - and you’d bet he’s probably had at least one run-in with Eddie. Maybe you’d tell Eddie that you could get cops to leave him alone, to stop watching him wearily whenever they were around. You couldn’t promise him too much, of course, but you knew at the very least that you could get your uncle to leave him alone. Or you could even take the fall here and there for whatever trouble Eddie inevitably lands himself in - what cop was stupid enough to arrest the niece of a cop and the daughter of a man who owned half of Hawkins?

It wasn’t foolproof, and you knew there were flaws to be found, but it just might work.

So, with your mind made up, you rip a scrap of paper from your notebook and scribble out a quick message:

Let’s make a deal. Sunday. You pick the time and place. Locker #436

You’d hoped that Eddie would be smart enough to realize that you wanted him to write you back, to drop his own stupid note in your locker so you could meet up and tell him your stupid, crazy idea. God, this better work.

You swiftly raise your hand in the air, giving a small impatient wave when your teacher didn’t acknowledge you right away, instead trying to focus on his lecture.

He rolled his eyes when he spotted your hand in the air, pointing at you and saying in an annoyed monotone, “What’s so important that you’re interrupting?”

Without any hesitation, you state bluntly, “Lady troubles.”

The teacher looks shocked by how plainly you stated it. But because it was you that said it and not someone else, your peers didn’t dare laugh, although a couple boys seemed to choke in surprise or amusement.

“Go, go…” Your teacher waved you off before continuing his lecture, wanting to forget the small interaction entirely.

You exited the room and roamed the halls confidently. Eddie’s locker wasn’t hard to miss - he was one of the students that decorated the metal with crude permanent marker sketches, and the school was too cheap to care about replacing or painting over it. As you approached Eddie’s locker, you checked around to make sure no one spotted you; it wasn’t as if you were committing a crime, but you didn’t need anyone wondering what you were up to in case this plan didn’t work.

So, you slipped the note into his locker, returned to class, and waited impatiently for the final bell of the day to ring, hoping that Eddie would actually stop by his locker and not just leave school without ever seeing your note.

When the end of the day came, it took everything in your power not to rush back to your own locker - just in case, you didn’t want him spotting you there. Why all the secrecy, you sure as hell didn’t know, but you nonetheless continued it.

So, you waited, stopping into the bathroom to check your makeup, walking with Amelia and Janet as they stopped at their own lockers. As the three of you exited the building and walked into the parking lot, you pretended to remember something, telling them that you needed to run back inside. You said your quick goodbyes and went back to wandering the halls, finally opening up your own locker.

It was stupid that your heart leapt when you saw a crudely torn piece of paper resting on top of some of your belongings.

You opened it quickly, eagerly reading the metalhead’s response:

Picnic table behind the football field, 4.

God, what were you getting yourself into.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #em #dos and donts

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hellenhighwater · 4 months

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Hi! I’m considering going to law school because it seems like something that would be really fulfilling to me— the main thing in my way is that I have a really bad stutter, and I’m not sure how that would affect the whole. Being A Lawyer? It seems like a lot of public speaking, which I would be reasonably confident with if only my mouth was caught up to the program 😅 So I just wondered what your take is, as somebody who Does That, on how difficult that would be!

I actually know two different attorneys who have stutters, both of whom are practicing successfully. One has chosen a role where she just doesn't do very much courtroom practice--mostly research and appellate briefing, so her job is mostly written work. Little to no public speaking! There's actually quite a few jobs like that in the legal field.

Another is a trial attorney, and he does stutter during his cases; it doesn't magically go away. But it's fine. He makes compelling arguments. Daily life in the courtroom also sometimes includes people who require interpreters, people who are Deaf, children, and any number of other individuals who may result in a slightly slower proceeding than might otherwise happen; the system accepts everyone as participants, even on the attorney side of things. People sometimes complain about this kind of stuff, but that is because those people are assholes.

I know that for some, their stutters worsen when they're uncomfortable, and the first few times you appear on the record is definitely uncomfortable, but it's also something you get used to with time. Yeah, it's public speaking, but actually a lot of it is very conversational and eventually it's just not that big of a deal.

It's worth noting that in many states, mine included, there's no oral component to passing the Bar. You may wind up arguing in law school, but the Bar is a written test.

#im not saying this the best but i had a full workday and then fought with my house for another six hours

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okcomputeroknotok19972017 · 5 months

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jokes aside, kendrick lamar is such a socially conscious musician who centers his artistry around vulnerability, introspection, and fighting for social justice -- based on reputation alone, i would be inclined to believe all of his accusations leveled at drake. allegations of sex trafficking and sexual assault are extremely serious, and if they were false, it would completely contradict the years of credibility that kendrick has worked for. i doubt that someone with his level of integrity would lie about or exaggerate these claims. drake has been known as a creep for a while, but this is an entirely different level of predatory behavior. i expect that we'll see more and more testimony from victims and that legal proceedings may follow. i sincerely hope that every woman and girl who has been victimized by this ring of sex traffickers finds peace, vindication, and closure in the coming days, weeks, and months. remember that this current feud started with megan thee stallion, a survivor of domestic violence, speaking out against drake for defending her attacker and mocking her physical and emotional trauma. fuck drake and all his friends, i hope kendrick's next song is a recital of drake's routing number and answers to his bank security questions

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worriedvision · 10 months

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Your pet approves - Wriothesley

Basically, you have a pet that's been hostile with anyone you bring home, your friends agreeing that your dear pet must have sensed the person's true intentions being cruel to you. When Wriothesley comes along, you get worried your pet won't like him either. Gender neutral reader.

Your pet was part of you, and you protected each other in different ways. Your pet being provided food and shelter, and in return you have a loveable friend in the house.

You had a type - and this type happened to be the type your pet did not like. On several occasions, you would bring someone back that you honestly felt was the right one. However, your pet would take one look and proceed to attack the person, leading to them swearing and cursing at the pet and throwing in a dehumanising comment about you.

Your friends were thankful your pet was always there to read vibes, as they had warned you about the dodgy behaviour your date's tended to have.

When Wriothesley had taken an interest in you, you decide to take him up on the date. Your friends, surprisingly, accepted the guy. They had good reviews on his character, despite his unfortunate past, and he was good looking. What wasn't to love, right?

Well, the date went well enough, however Wriothesley insisted on walking you home - the time of night, and you being seen with him, it was not a great combination for walking home alone. Reluctantly, you agree. You continue talking, still getting on, and you only realise you're close to home when you see your adorable pet waiting patiently for you.

"I didn't know you had a pet." Wriothesley smiles, following you to the door. To your shock, the pet doesn't appear to be ticked off in any way.

"That's odd, usually he doesn't approve of my first dates..." You hum out in thought, opening your door. "Want to come in? He might actually approve of you."

"Challenge accepted."

You didn't know what to expect from this, but your pet allowing Wriothesley to play with him and stroke him was not on the list. Seeing your pet fall asleep on Wriothesley after laying on his chest, you couldn't help but giggle when you see Wriothesley trying to think of how to move without disturbing your dear pet. You take your kamera out, proceeding to take a picture and Wriothesley pleading for you to help with wide eyes.

"Sorry, you cannot legally get up. my pets made it law." You pout, putting your kamera away before proceeding to get Wriothesley a blanket.

#genshin impact imagines #wriothesley x gender neutral reader #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley #gender neutral reader #fluff

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wumblr · 1 year

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the way house of leaves has been revived for a cult following is so funny. it's completely backwards! it was a music industry book. the singer poe, who made waves with her debut for having a few tracks produced by j dilla and then if i remember correctly doing a 500+ show tour, essentially tanked her career to promote the book (written by her brother)

not like on purpose but it was supposed to be a paired project and there was a remix with a book excerpt read by mark (the kyrie bmw sex scene) and like, i don't know, a tie-in website -- but then her label got sold or merged or acquired and the project was eventually cancelled after languishing in limbo for a few years. there's also an aspect of this where like, a texas oil executive posed as a friend of her late father (possibly true) in order to manipulate legal proceedings (?) to ultimately own her writing and recording copyrights post-acquisition (dubious allegation, which also relies on her having signed away both types of copyright to her label in the first place, arguably a larger problem spanning the whole industry, even today, still coming up in legal proceedings from kesha and taylor swift and so on)

anyway the album (haunted) and the book were both inspired by the same event (death of their father, tad danielewsky -- as an aside, a professor of theater at brigham young university). the album features samples from a box of cassette tape recordings of his voice. and also some fake samples from a couple of guys pretending to be tad danielewski with an obviously ridiculous accent and a couple of kids pretending to be her as a kid. and it takes place inside the house. the growl is there and everything i swear

it really was one of the top tier 90s concept albums (it was released in 2000 actually) but it is usually FAR too much to handle for casual listening and a lot of it comes across difficult for being so sincere and so unfocused (it is a love letter to her dead father where one of the songs is a list of places she's gotten fucked, because, uh, this is a conversation she wanted to have with him. shrug). and yet it's hard not to take it as it is because it's so consistently well produced

so i know nobody's computer comes with a cd player anymore but to read the book without listening to the paired album implicitly packed in the back of the book jacket is kind of like missing the whole point. there's a whole second act of rashomon you guys are missing. and a third act hello the etsy teleplays. ANYWAY the point i wanted to make is that there are a couple of things about the album sticking to the roof of my mouth as being somehow prescient. there's a distorted "why (are you) so serious" sample that would have come across VERY differently post-joker, but there's also "tell me something dangerous and true," a far more interesting variation on the theme currently circulating. and i'm speaking to an empty room here because it's only the celibate 60% of this website who is reading the book because it allows them a patina of literary validity and several nested unreliable narrators to distance themselves from the sex scenes, but haunted is very authentically, directly and exclusively written in first person and to be honest it fucks too hard for you guys. i'm sorry

#house of leaves

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inbarfink · 6 months

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Okay, I’ve been considering it for quite a bit and I think that if Tumblr existed in Japanifornia… most of us would probably not be aware of the series’ main characters.

Like, lawyers just don’t tend to be high-profile publicly-known figures. Even within True Crime communities or the coverage of high-public-interest cases, people don’t tend to focus on the lawyers as much more than a representative of the defendant and the legal system as a whole. And yeah, you can say this is just because real-life lawyers are Boring and if they did the kind of Bonkers Shit AA Lawyers do we would pay attention to them… but we do actually have textual evidence that Japanifornia treats lawyers not-too-differently than real life.

Mia’s murder, and probably the uncovering of all of Bluecorp’s dirty dealing, was highly talked about, but Phoenix’s actions in court went kinda ignored. And note that this is the case where Phoenix literally defended himself and broke the Demon Prosecutor’s five years winning streak, and that wasn’t enough to draw eyes to his part in this whole case.

And that’s also generally consistent with how characters treat Phoenix throughout the rest of the games. By the AJ Trilogy era, it’s clear that Phoenix has made quite a name for himself… in the legal world. If you are yourself a lawyer or another sort of legal professional or just unusually interested in court proceeding, you know the name ‘Phoenix Wright’

But if you’re just a regular person who cares about the law the Regular Amount, you probably have no idea who this is.

So I’d guess most of Japanifornian Tumblr would probably be aware of a lot of the cases in the games, especially considering how many of them concern, like, corporate corruption and organized crime and legal corruption and international politics and the entertainment industry and other such stuff that makes it likely to get national/international news coverage. And also so many of them are so bizarre and wacky and are thus prime meme fodder…

But most people wouldn’t necessarily know the name of the lawyer the Nickel Samurai blackmailed to defend him after he ordered an assassin to kill the Jammin’ Ninja, or even how involved that lawyer actually was in Matt Engarde’s downfall.

But there would probably be a small mini-fandom of Tumblrina Lawyers and other legal nerds who are ABSOLUTELY obsessed with the WAA, and trying to collect any piece of info they can find about their adventures.

(That’s also another aspect to consider, the general public in Japanifornia does not have full knowledge of everything we get to see in the game. News coverage of the smaller cases would be extremely minimal and very regional - and even the bigger cases probably won’t give you a full line-by-line record of everything that happened in Court. Apollo Justice was, like, the Biggest Phoenix Wright Stan in the Universe and he had very choppy and partial knowledge of the Gramarye Trial. We have to consider that even folks who are trying to keep track of the AA Lawyers in-universe would not get the full picture from the media. And that’s before we get into fake news and rumors.)

And meanwhile, the rest of Tumblr would probably treat that Fandom the same sort of bemused delight we give to, like, the extremely dedicated gimmick blogs. Like, you’d probably see less posts about Phoenix and Co. as you’d see posts memeing about the fact there’s a Tumblr Fandom for ‘some random law agency in Japanifornia’, they’d be like five thousands people in the notes going “There’s a Tumblr Fandom for WHAT? WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’M HEARING ABOUT THIS??” and then one person from the WAA fandom going “NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE GUY WHO UNCOVERED THE PHANTOM HE’S JUMPED OFF A BURNING BRIDGE ONCE YOU LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT A TRIAL HE DID YESTERDAY YOU JUST DON’T KNOW HE WAS INVOLVED”.

Now, that’s all for the Defense Attorneys. The Prosecutors have a bit more publicity. I mean, Phoenix literally heard about Prosecutor Edgeworth on the news.

But also… I do think this publicity is highly regional. Like, Phoenix ended up stumbling on newspaper coverage of Miles because he lives in the same city as him. I’m guessing that most of the series’ Prosecutors are at least casually known not just to Legal Folks, but also generally to people within Los Angetokyo and people involved in Japanifornian Politics… but also not much outside of that sphere either. Again, the series does establish that they are not that well-known amongst laypeople even when they are famous amongst other lawyers

And are generally recognized by fellow legal professionals and journalists and people involved in criminal activity. So the situation with them won’t be that different than with the WAA, they might be a tad more high-profile, depending on how many Tumblr users are specifically from Japaniforina and wanna make memes about the local politics… but those who will get really invested in their misadventures won’t be that different from the kind of people who’d get really into Phoenix Wright.

Klavier is the obvious exception. Like most Famous Lawyers, he’s actually primarily famous for something other than law. It’s just that in his case, instead of politics, it’s being a world-famous rock star. There’s plenty of textual evidence that the Gavinners are an actual household name and they’d probably have a pretty sizable Tumblr Fandom, but… well… while I assume any casual Gavinner fan knows that Klavier is also a Prosecutor, I’d guess only the insanely dedicated fans and the Haters looking for something problematic would actually start digging into the records of the cases he worked on. But then again, Tumblr does have a lot of insanely dedicated fans and Haters, so maybe Legal Misadventures Involving Klavier would be kinda mainstream on Japanifornia Tumblr.

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copperbadge · 6 months

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Hi Sam! You mentioned being in Texas. Did you get to see the total eclipse?

I did! That's actually why we were in Texas.

I have wanted to see a full solar eclipse since I was about 20, but I've never had the combination of time and means -- couldn't afford it, or couldn't get to where it was total, or couldn't take the time to get there. So two years ago I saw one was coming and said, "this time I'm making it happen." Two days later R called and said, "Do you want to meet up in Texas for the eclipse?"

Our plans had to shift over time, and I won't lie, that was stressful for all of us. I had originally planned to ask R and his wife to chip in half for the rental place, but decided to just cover it myself because they're either divorced or in the end stages of the legal divorce proceedings and R isn't making much money. I remember my mother being poor and trying to take us on nice trips, and I can afford it. Baby U didn't exist when we made these plans and he's traveling with her without a partner for the first time, which has caused wrinkles for all of us (he couldn't get a rental car because he waited too long, so he took a Lyft to Fuckall Nowhere, Texas, like a 2 hour drive, and now has to try and get one in FaNoTX to get to his next stop in San Antonio). The rental was a little more intense and uptight than we anticipated but the people seemed nice in person. I have had Some Stress.

And honestly, it was all worth it.

I don't think a full solar eclipse is life changing for everyone the way some people say, but I do agree that partial eclipse simply doesn't compare. They're too different as experiences. When totality hit and we could see it hit, everyone gasped and was silent for a second and the burst into noise -- cheers, swearing, exclamations. I almost started crying and then began laughing instead because next to me R said "OH MY GOSH" and U echoed softly "oh my gosh" even though she's too young to understand what's going on and was looking at her sippy cup, not the eclipse. We just stood there in awe. We were in a kind of shock for a few hours after.

I'd been dropping some "hot from a PBS documentary" eclipse facts on an older woman before the event, at the little lunch party our host threw, and she'd taken to calling us William Shatner (R) and Carl Sagan (me) and from behind me, halfway through totality, she said, "Carl Sagan, you didn't tell me it would be like THIS."

In future, I will do any travel with R very differently, but it was worth it to see him and the baby and experience that with them.

Also having coparented a toddler for the weekend, I am again glad I don't want and never had kids. She's a joy, but she's a very dribbly joy.

#conversations with r #eclipse #sam travels

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im-not-your-nice-jewish-boy · 3 months

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I want to talk about something that's been bothering me lately See, this is by no means a new subject, but the ownership specifically Christian goyim seem to feel over Judaism is extremely disturbing. This is especially concerning when it comes to Messianic "Jews" who have basically only made themselves more legalistic Christians with some Jewish tradition thrown in for flavor. These people come into explicitly Jewish spaces and then proceed to tell us how to be Jewish. They speak of Jews and Judaism like it's part of them despite not being Jewish, and claim Judaism despite not understanding even the basics of the culture and the philosophy of the people they falsely claim to be. Not even understanding that part of the foundation of Judaism is questioning things and debating about them, which is obviously the antithesis of legalism.

This would be bad enough without a lot of them going "as a Jew" and proceeding to make the Good Jew arguments with an extra helping of antisemitism because they're not actually Jewish and I'd argue aren't under any actual threat of being treated like us.

They're claiming Jewish identity for the legalism, the superiority complex, and then using that baseless claim to pitch Jews under the bus essentially.

What makes it even worse is that other goyim can't tell the difference, or don't even want to. And they use these "Jews" (heavy quotes on that) to prove that the Jews agree with their blood libel and explicit antisemitic rhetoric.

It's a sick combination of cultural appropriation, erasure, and racism and it makes me fucking angry

#antisemites #antisemitism #jumblr #goys stop telling jews what our words mean challenge #goyische nonsense #actually jewish #jewish and proud #get out of our house assholes

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lottins-only · 25 days

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I love you, it's ruining my life | Part IV

pairing: Kylian x black!fem!Reader

word count: 6.2k

part one, part two, part three

A/N: as always, please let me know what you think in my inbox <3 Like this post if you'd like to be added to my taglist.

IV. Summer 2023 through Spring 2024

July 2023

“Tic Tac!” The man on the TV had wide, and quite frankly, manic-looking eyes. “Tic Tac!”

Kylian quickly grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, releasing a sigh of relief at the ensuing silence. It was all noise these days, the minute he turned on the TV, or opened Twitter and Instagram, or even glanced at a newspaper. His name in big bold capital letters, in a headline that almost always contained the words “leaving” or “staying”. Everyone wanted to know. The paparazzi stalked his every move, yelling out the million dollar question to him any chance they got – “Kylian, are you leaving PSG?” as if he’d respond to them. People on twitter tracked his flights, trying to see if any of the planes he boarded were headed to Madrid. Self- proclaimed insider journalists went viral on social media with their ‘scoops’, causing a flurry of conversation, and depending on which day it was and which side you were on, either joy or sadness. Turtle emojis haunted his dreams, and now, thanks to the Spanish TV channel he’d accidentally come across, so would the words ‘tic tac’.

He was a good sport about it, most times. But at times it was all too much. Like today. He’d spent the majority of it in a meeting with his mother and legal team, discussing PSG negotiation strategies. Then he’d come home to take an afternoon nap, only to be woken up by his lawyer calling him to deliver the news: PSG had frozen him out of the first team. He’d proceeded to go to his living room and open the TV, mindlessly scrolling through the channels, happy to not just think for a couple of minutes, to let the disbelief and anger marinate inside him until he could express it at a later time . But that was all gone when he happened upon the Tic Tac man, who apparently hosted a show that was dedicated to the Mbappe - Real Madrid Saga. Now it was back to stressing about his present, and his future.

Truthfully, everything had started unraveling the day he’d royally fucked everything up with Y/N, back in December. The heartbreak he’d felt had been unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, so all encompassing that it had left him at a loss of equilibrium. It shook him to his core. He didn’t just lose the girl he loved, he lost his best friend too. He’d decided to pour everything he had into football, and he’d quite literally been rewarded for it when he’d become PSG’s top goalscorer. He felt happiness he hadn’t felt in a long while when he stood there in the stadium that evening, thousands cheering him on as he held up the trophy. But then all of it had dissipated back in his apartment, his friends and family gone after a night of celebration, the golden 201 staring at him from his trophy cabinet. What good was any of it if he couldn’t call and share his joy with the person who mattered to him the most? He’d felt incredibly lonely then, more lonely than when he was just 14 alone in the Monaco academy for the very first time. Y/N had left a big, wide hole in his life, and no matter how he tried to forget it, it was still there.

His phone, which he had carelessly tossed across the couch, started to vibrate. It was his mother, probably calling to check on him, maybe offer some words of comfort. He ignored it. He didn’t want to speak to anyone at the moment; He didn’t have the energy to pretend he was ok, , to feign acceptance of his uncertain future and Y/N’s absence from his life. Instead, he headed to the fridge and grabbed a rare beer. He wasn’t going to be playing professional football anytime soon , so who cared how much carbs he consumed?

He watched his phone continue to vibrate as he took a gulp of beer. It periodically flashed different names: his parents, his brothers, his sister in law, Tchaga. He was happy to ignore all of them in favor of wallowing in his sadness. It went on like that for an hour or so, his phone occasionally lighting up with someone calling as he sunk deeper into his misery. Then, a name appeared on the screen that made him almost choke on his beer.

He quickly grabbed the phone and answered. “Hello?”

“Hi” Y/N’s voice was tentative, almost shy. “Are you okay, Kylian?”

“Yeah” He managed to keep his voice steady. “Yeah, I’m okay”

“Are you sure?” her voice was tinted with concern. “It’s all over the news here. Plus, your mom is worried, said you’re not picking up your phone”

He winced. “ Don’t mind her, It's probably all the stress from the negotiations taking a toll”

“And you?”

“And me what?” he asked.

“Is it taking a toll on you?” She clarified

“No, I’m good” he said defensively. “I’m great, actually”

His beer bottle that had been teetering on the edge of his coffee table suddenly tumbled down and crashed to the floor.

He cursed. “Sorry, my beer just went everywhere…”

“Beer?” She sounded surprised. “You don’t drink beer. Especially so close to the season starting”

He sighed. “Y/N, we haven’t spoken in more than 6 months. Since you fucking broke my heart, mind you. I don’t think you can confidently say you know me anymore”

“Harsh” She replied. “But maybe deserved”

He heard shuffling at the other end, and the unmistakable sound of a cat’s meow. “Is that a cat?” he asked.

“Yup. I adopted one about a month ago” she replied. “Her name is Luna”

He snorted. “Half the cats in the world are named Luna. Couldn’t you be a little original?”

“Shut up” She chuckled, then paused. “And I still know you well, by the way”

“Mmm?” He was searching for a broom and dustpan to clean up the beer bottle mess. He couldn’t find them anywhere. He was shamefully clueless about this stuff, seeing as he had a cleaning person come take care of things like that.

“Yeah. I can bet my salary you’re looking for something to clean up your mess with but you can’t find it” The sound of her giggle made his heart skip a beat.

Kylian smiled in spite of himself and muttered “Fuck you” under his breath.

He finally found the broom and dustpan.

“You know what else I can bet?” Her tone softened, turned more serious. “I can bet that the Kylian I know wouldn’t let this type of stuff get to him. No matter what pressure he’s put under, no matter what they say. He’d just let his football speak for itself”

“Yeah well, they’re not even letting me play football. That’s the issue. It’s either renew my contract or I won't play a single minute this season. And that’s a problem, Y/N. Because if I don’t play, then It means I start getting out of form. And I can’t have that. There’s too much on the line. The Euros next summer, and then maybe the Olympics…” He’d swooped up all the broken glass carefully and was now wiping the excess beer. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone”

“What about… What about here?”

He knew ‘here’ meant Madrid, but the way she said it made it sound like ‘here’ was more personal. For a moment he imagined a world where they were together, a world where he’d be able to find solace with her – in her city, her apartment, her bed. He quickly dismissed that thought before it could hurt him.

“I want to finish my PSG contract first” It was a line that almost felt robotic the number of times he uttered it to the press, but it was still true.

“In any case, I don’t think you should worry too much, Kylian. You have great lawyers, great people behind you. They’ll figure it out” Her voice was comforting, and for the first time, he believed those words that had been told to him by friends and family countless times.

The door to his apartment rattled just then, and he cringed. The timing couldn’t be worse. He disposed of the glass as he heard the door unlock from the other side, and then the sound of clicking heels approaching.

“Kyky, are you okay?” She asked, just as she came into view. “You didn’t pick up when I called”

She saw that he was on the phone, and Kylian was about to open his mouth to explain when she whispered “Is that Fayza?”

He didn’t know what possessed him to lie, but he did. He nodded a yes.

She gave an understanding nod, before motioning that she was headed towards his bedroom. Kylian watched as she went up the stairs, overnight bag in one hand and the sound of her heels echoing.

A brief silence, and then, “Who was that?” from the other end of the phone.

“You remember Sophia from Monaco? She lives in Paris now” Why did it feel like he was delivering bad news? She was the one that had left him heartbroken. “And we’re dating”

“Dating dating or are you still just hooking up?” Her voice was unreadable.

“No, we’re dating. Shocker, but I’m actually capable of being in a relationship”

“Why did she move to Paris?” She ignored his pointed jab. “What does she even do now?”

“She’s a model”

She snorted. “ There it is”

He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That’s your usual type, no?”

He rolled his eyes. “Not really. My type was you. Just you. You thought I was using you for sex, though. That’s why we didn’t work out right?”

“Well—”

“But yeah, she is a model” He ignored her, not wanting to prod his own open wound. “Not all of us can be super smart, saving people’s lives…”

“I don’t save lives” She pointed out. “At least not directly. I’m in nonprofit work, remember?”

He did remember. He knew everything about her, admired and cherished every single detail. Yet, she wasn’t his. He’d gotten close; those 10 days after his birthday were the best of his life. But she ran away. And maybe it was his fault. It was a thought that haunted him till this day. Maybe I should have been more forward. Told her how I felt. Told her I love you.

He cleared his throat. “You know, we’re doing an event next week for the kids in my foundation. About getting into STEM fields.”

“I know” She responded. “I’m going to be there”

“What?” He couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Yeah, your mom invited me. I’m going to be one of the speakers” She sounded amused that he didn’t know.

“Oh… I guess I’ll see you then”

“Yeah, I’ll see you” she said quietly.

There was a brief silence, and Kylian thought it was the appropriate time to wrap the conversation up. Any other time and they’d spend minutes in comfortable silence, speaking only when they felt like it, and on things that ranged from random to deep. But this was the first time they were speaking in months, and there was another girl waiting for him upstairs.

“Thank you for calling. For calming me down. You’re very talented at that ” He let out a sad laugh.

“Of course. I’m always your friend, Kylian. No matter what” She said it with so much conviction it almost made up for everything else.

He thought she was going to add something else, but she didn’t. They said their goodbyes and hung up the phone.

October 2023

The second time they spoke on the phone, he was on a flight back from a game. It was a loss, and no one was happy, so there was a muted atmosphere on the plane. Despite that, the adrenaline still running through his veins prevented him from falling asleep. He kept awake, fidgeting in his seat, trying to fend off the thoughts that usually assailed him after a loss. Could’ve made that pass. Should’ve scored that goal.

He decided to distract himself. He pressed play on the latest episode of his favorite show, but he couldn’t concentrate. He contemplated playing a game, but he didn't want to think. Next to him, Dembele was softly snoring. He instinctively reached for his phone, and before even thinking about it, called Y/N.

She picked up almost instantly. “Hello?” Her groggy voice made him realize it was well past midnight in Madrid.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was so late. We can –”

“It’s fine, it’s fine” Her voice was soft. “What’s up?”

He looked out at the night sky through the small airplane window. “Nothing, nothing. Just couldn’t sleep, and thought I’d try and talk to someone”

She chuckled. “Well, you’re in luck, because I’ve been sitting at my desk for the past hour trying to study. You caught me just when I started to doze off”

“Study for what?” He kept his voice low to not wake his neighbor. “I thought you were done with all of that”

“Decided I have one more degree in me” She said. “I started a masters program”

“Wow. So you’re juggling classes, your job, and being a mom to Luna” He tsked jokingly. “That’s a lot on your plate”

“Tell me about it” She yawned. “I’m fully embracing the cat lady stereotype these days”

“What, no guys hitting you up?” He kept his tone teasing, but he was very curious.

“Don’t have time, is all” She responded. “I barely leave the apartment during the weekends… I barely even see friends”

He frowned, imagining her cooped up in her tiny apartment all alone, straining her eyes by poring over her books. Neglecting herself. “Y/N, you work so hard, don’t forget to take care of yourself”

“I’m managing” Her tone was soft but strained. His frown deepened. How had he not noticed the deep tiredness in her voice until now?

“So, what are you doing this weekend?” She asked, clearly trying to change the subject. “Any plans with Sophia?”

“Well, we have two days off, so I was thinking–” A lightbulb flickered inside his head. “I’m actually going to be in Madrid”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah” He lied. “ I’ve got a Nike photoshoot”

“So, I’ll get to see you right?”

“Yes, of course. You’ll have to text me your address and stuff and I’ll come by..”

She didn’t express any excitement, and he didn’t blame her. He felt nervous himself, seeing as this would be their first meeting alone since December. He’d come up with the idea on the spot, lying about a photoshoot, because something in her voice was off. He wanted to see her, to check on her. Plus, he missed her.

He texted his assistant to arrange a flight and a hotel to Madrid before the plane even landed in Paris. He rushed back to his apartment just to shower and to pack a bag, then he was once again on a plane, making his way to Y/N.

By morning, he was in sunny Madrid. By mid-morning, his driver was taking him to Y/N’s apartment. His heart was beating out of his chest as he knocked on her door. A few seconds, and it opened. And there she was.

He was struck by a sense of longing, the heartache he’d felt all those months compounded tenfold at the sight of her. He couldn’t dwell on that, though, because the longing immediately gave way to a wave of concern. She looked exhausted, her curls frazzled and dark circles visible on her tired face. Despite this, she smiled at him wordlessly and let him inside.

Her apartment was a reflection of her current state – chaotic and disheveled. Papers and books were scattered across surfaces, take-out boxes on the floor.

“Sorry about the mess, I got swept away with work” She shrugged at him in embarrassment as he cleared away papers on the sofa to take a seat.

“No worries” he said, looking around her apartment. This was his first time in her living space.

“Do you want me to get you anything? Water?” She asked, just as a blob of gray fur suddenly flew across the room from nowhere and leaped at him.

“ Ow!” Kylian exclaimed as the cat’s claw made contact with his face. He looked down at it with a disapproving look.“ You must be Luna. Thanks for that”

Luna meowed at him contentedly from her perch on his lap. Y/N chuckled, but her laugh quickly turned into a yawn.

He scratched Luna’s ears and gave Y/N a serious look. “ You need to sleep. Now”

“But I—

“No buts. You need rest” He said firmly “ You go take a nap, I’ll chill with Luna”

“ But you just got here!”

“ We have the whole weekend to hang out”

She frowned. “ You came here for work though”

He ignored her comment. “Just go sleep,Y/N”

With a resigned sigh, she made way to the bedroom.

He looked back at Luna, then at the messy apartment. A former coach of his had once told him a person’s living space was a reflection of their mental state. He sighed at the British shorthair. “Let’s get to work Luna”

He started by gathering the books and papers, carefully arranging them so they were all in the right place. Next, He cleared away all the trash and disposed of it. He wiped all the surfaces of the living room and kitchen, restoring some sense of order. Luna trailed after him all throughout his cleaning, rubbing her head against his leg once in a while.

After some contemplation, he decided to take the risk and walk to the grocery store across from her apartment building. Thankfully, the store clerk didn’t recognize him in his cap and sunglasses so he got his shopping done without any hassle. Back in the apartment, he replaced the wilted flowers on her kitchen table with the fresh ones he’d gotten, then put away the groceries he’d picked up.

He’d never cooked a meal in his entire life, but he figured he’d be able to follow a recipe. So he pulled up youtube and searched up a simple pasta recipe. It took him longer than he’d anticipated, but by the time Y/N woke up, there was a steaming home cooked meal waiting for her on the kitchen table.

She broke into a giggle as soon as she walked out of her bedroom, her eyes lighting up in delight. “You did all this?”

He raised his arms up in mock triumph. “I’m not a completely useless human being outside of football, you know”

“Never said you were” She took a seat by the kitchen table, eagerly stabbing a fork through her pasta.

He watched her take a bite, a grin spreading across his face as she gave him an approving thumbs up. Nothing he loved more than validation from Y/N.

He plated up some for himself, and they ate in companionable silence. Afterwards, Y/N insisted on cleaning up and he didn’t protest, seeing as doing the dishes had always been his least favorite chore ever since he was a kid. He watched her move around the kitchen, already sensing less tension in her after the nap and meal.

When dusk rolled around, he turned to her and grinned. “Time for you to show me your city”. And so they set off, him dressed modestly in just a T-shirt , sweatpants, a cap and pair of sunglasses not to attract attention and her in a pretty yellow sundress. This was his first time venturing outside without a bodyguard in years, and he was sure his mother would have a heart attack if she found out, but he didn’t tell Y/N; he wanted her to feel completely at ease. As they walked, she pointed out some of her favorite things about the city: the mix of historic and contemporary architecture, and the street art. He listened attentively, though his anxiety was growing. It would take only one person to notice him for word to spread around and a mob to form. Then he could do little to protect Y/N or himself.

She must have sensed his worry, because shortly after she pulled him into one of the less crowded cafes. They took a seat outside, his back facing the streets. He watched her people watch, the setting sun casting golden hues over her face. She’d gotten a scoop of ice cream while he was sipping on peach iced tea.

“You know, I hate to complain, but sometimes I wish it was easier” His tone was heavy. “Whenever I’m outside, it feels like I’m always on guard. ” He turned and looked wistfully at the bustling street.

“On the bright side, you’re living your dream” She reminded him with a sympathetic look. “Not many people can say that”

He nodded in agreement, then paused. “Do you think, you and I, if there wasn’t all of this”–He gestured vaguely at himself – “would we have worked out?”

She raised her eyebrows at him, clearly surprised at his question. “I don't – Kylian, I–”

He interrupted her, snorting bitterly. “Remember when you basically told me I’m a fuckboy athlete using you for sex?”

“We don’t need to talk about that now, Kylian” She looked down at her ice cream.

“No, I think we do” He said firmly. “Do you know how much you hurt me?”

She looked up at him. “ Kylian… I’ve seen the pictures, heard the stories. Plus the way you behaved during our…situationship or whatever you call it. You can’t fault me for thinking that way”

“What do you mean the way I behaved?” He laughed bitterly. “ You were the only person I was seeing. Holding hands, kissing, I’ve never done that in public before with anyone else. All because I was proud you were mine… at least I thought you were going to be mine.”

“Well that’s the issue, Kylian. You never told me any of that. I was hurt.. I thought I was just a temporary distraction to you” She said quietly. “I thought you were throwing away our friendship just for sex”

He was hurt that that was the way she viewed him. But he hadn’t led her to believe otherwise, had he? He’d never entertained the idea of a relationship with anyone before her simply because he’d never liked someone so much before her. And so most of his late teen years and early twenties had been spent in a cycle of casual flings, never letting anyone get too close. He could see why she’d thought that way.

“Y/N, I never meant to make you feel like that,” he said, his voice earnest. “I’ve never been in a place where I cared about someone as much as I care about you. Maybe I didn’t show it right, but it was never just about a fling for me.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway, though” She continued, locking eyes with him. “We have two completely different lifestyles… it would never work” She said the last part quietly, as if it was a painful truth she would’ve rather be false.

“So your answer is yes?” He tried to hide the pain in his voice.

“What?”

“The answer to my original question, about my career being in the way, it’s yes right?”

She slowly nodded. He nodded back, a silent acceptance passing between them. Perhaps she was right; they lived in different countries, worked two completely different jobs. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. He had Sophia– who lived in the same city as him, who ran in the same circles, who had no problem throwing herself into his world. That should have consoled him, but he couldn’t help but feel that this would be the ‘what if’ that haunted him forever.

She reached out and took his hand. “But Kylian, your friendship means the world to me. I want that forever. I mean look at me, I was on the verge of collapse before you visited. Thank you, by the way” She added, giggling self-deprecatingly.

He managed a small, bittersweet smile. His phone rang just then, and Y/N snatched her hand back when she saw the caller ID on his phone. It was Sophia, wanting to know how his photoshoot was going. He weaved a web of half-truths while Y/N looked down, playing with her ice cream.

By the time he hung up, the sun had completely set and the bustling street outside was bathed in street lights. He’d drunk the last of his iced tea while Y/N spooned the final bits of her ice cream. He found himself watching, mesmerized as her tongue peeked out of her mouth to lick her spoon. Her tongue darted out again to swipe the remaining ice cream from her plump lips. His mouth slightly gaped as she closed her eyes, letting out a soft moan of satisfaction. “That was really good” She said as he moved his eyes away and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Even after the painful conversation they’d had, she was capable of getting his blood flowing to all the wrong places in his body. He didn’t know if it was pathetic or funny.

He cleared his throat. “Let’s head back, shall we?”

February 2024

“Look this way, you two!” The photographer shouted over the loud chatter. Kylian had slowly grown irritated throughout the night; first it was the itchy jacket that clung to him, then the seemingly endless stream of people coming up to him asking for pictures, and now it was this nosy photographer trying to get a snap that he could sell to the tabloids. He knew he was hired by Tchaga to document the opening of his new business, so he tried to keep a polite facade. “No thanks,” He said. “We’re good”

The photographer moved along, clearly disappointed. Next to him, Y/N gave him a playful pout. “You don’t want pictures with me?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “You know why”

She smirked at him as she took a sip of her drink. “Can’t help it if people think I’m hot”

A few weeks ago, a video of Y/N speaking at his foundation event back in July had resurfaced online and gained traction on Twitter and Tiktok. People were commenting on the ‘insane chemistry’ between her and Kylian, and how they looked like the perfect match. Up until then, Y/N had been able to maintain her anonymity; she was never photographed with Kylian or seen out with him. She’d always joked about making her public debut in his documentary fifty years from now, where she’d recount embarrassing stories from his childhood. But that video going viral meant she’d had hundreds of thousands of people camping out on her Instagram page, convinced she was his latest love interest. A few tabloid articles soon followed the social media buzz, lighting up even more speculation online. The irony of all of that happening just as they finally moved past their short lived romance was not lost on Kylian.

Though she hadn’t mentioned it, he knew she wasn’t taking this invasion of her privacy lightly. He felt a pang of guilt, especially since this wasn’t the expected outcome when she’d volunteered to speak to the kids. So he overcompensated sometimes, like in this instance, to make sure no photos of them leaked online or on tabloids to fuel further gossip.

He watched her open her email app for the third time at night, anxiously refreshing it to see if there were any new messages in her inbox.

“Stop that” He snatched the phone out of her hand.

“Give me–” She started protesting, but he’d already replaced her empty hand with another drink.

“You need to relax, they’ll get back to you when they get back to you” He said.

She sighed, nodding hesitantly. She’d come to Paris for a job interview with a company she’d been impressed by for a while. She wasn’t very stressed before the interview, saying she’d rather stay at her job in Madrid anyway, but no one likes facing rejection. As a result, she kept checking her phone for updates while in the middle of the party, which she’d been able to attend because it had coincided with the day of the job interview.

They watched as Tchaga made a speech, Kylian clapping proudly for his best friend. Y/N left shortly after he cut the ribbon, citing exhaustion. Kylian offered his driver to take her home but she declined, so he walked her out of the party and waited for her Uber with her.

“Where’s Sophia tonight?” She asked, shivering slightly in the cold evening air.

“Oh, we broke up” He said casually, shedding his jacket and holding it up for her.

“What?” Her eyes widened in surprise as she turned around, letting him drape the jacket over her shoulders. “I didn’t know that”

He shrugged. “ It wasn’t working out. We wanted different things”

“And what were those?”

“She..” He paused, measuring his words. “ She wanted to be more public. And I didn’t want that”

It was more than that. She’d started posting photos of inside his house, which Kylian had expressed his discomfort at. She didn’t understand where he was coming from though, didn’t understand that as someone who was in the public eye from a very young age he placed a high value on his privacy. Then it was calling photographers whenever they were out together– at events, restaurants, you name it. He’d always known that being her boyfriend increased her profile in the modeling world, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was in the entire relationship just for the spotlight. So, he’d called it quits. Her reaction had confirmed his suspicions – he’d seen pictures of her out and about with an A list actor just a few days after their break up.

“I’m sorry, Kyky” She gave him a hug, wrapping her arms around his torso. He rested his chin on the top of her head, fighting the urge to kiss her wind frazzled curls.

“You haven’t called me that in a long time”

“ Just wanted to reclaim the nickname I gave you, now that she’s out of your life” She grumbled.

Kylian chuckled, feeling slightly satisfied by the jealous undertone in her voice.Y/N had still never met Sophia but she always overheard her call him Kyky over the phone. It was true that she was the one who’d come up with the nickname when they were younger. He liked that she was possessive over him; over a part of him, at least.

They said their goodbyes after a few moments, and he watched her uber speed away. He only went back inside when the car turned the corner and disappeared.

Inside the party, he mingled with friends of friends and other acquaintances. An hour or so went by before it was just his inner circle left. He stood around with Ethan, his father, and Tchaga, chatting about the week’s football and other random tidbits.

Ethan pointed at the small beard on his chin, laughing. “You’re still growing that out? We told you it sucks”

Him and Tchaga had teased him mercilessly about it last time he’d grown it out, saying it was tacky. He’d quickly shaved after that.

“Oh, Y/N said she liked it so I just kept it” He shrugged.

“You’d probably wear clown shoes if she told you they looked good” His father muttered quietly.

Ethan and Tchaga burst into laughter, while Kylian’s face flushed. Seeing his son's embarrassment, Wilfried quickly corrected himself.

“What I meant to say,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender, “is that you clearly value her opinion more than anyone else’s.”

“Which is great” Tchaga added “If you both weren’t running away from your feelings”

Kylian groaned.

“It’s never going to work out” He automatically repeated the words she’d said to him, the same words he said to himself during sleepless nights.

His father squeezed his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “To me, it just seems like you’re both scared. Maybe take a leap of faith. It’s obvious you two care about each other a lot… If you don’t give it a shot, you’re going to regret it. Trust me”

You’re going to regret it. Wasn’t he already? Deep down, he knew there was no one else for him besides her. Anyone else he kissed, slept with, dated, or even had a fleeting connection with was just second best. No one knew him like she did, no one else had his heart in the palm of their hand. If he didn’t tell her now, then they’d start drifting apart. Separate futures. Separate lives with different families and different partners. A life of misery is what awaited him.

He sighed. He knew what to do.

April 2024

Kylian had arrived in Madrid on that April morning with two missions; First to sign the most important contract of his professional career so far, then to tell his best friend he was in love with her. The first part was straightforward; himself and his group of lawyers had met Real Madrid’s lawyers, signed the papers, and sealed the deal. Just like that, the most dramatic football transfer saga of the decade came to an end.

The second one he’d been more nervous for. He’d tried to come up with a script, something romantic like in the movies. But it felt disingenuous, so he decided he’d make it up as we went along. Hey, I know you said we’re never going to work out, but we’re going to be living in the same city soon so why don’t we give it a try? Nah, that was too simple. He needed to come up with something better.

He met her at her apartment in the evening, leaving behind his mother and the rest of the team who’d come along for the contract signing.

“He’s off to see his girlfriend now” His mother had announced to the table when he excused himself after their late lunch.

He’d flinched at the term and whispered, “She’s not my girlfriend”

“Oh, really?” She shot him a look that could melt steel. “And why is that?”

He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “Don’t even start with the ‘I don’t have time’ excuse . You two can spare 2 hours a day to talk on the phone, so you clearly do have the time”

He didn’t respond, just gave her a small smile. Being called out by both parents for unresolved feelings wasn’t for the weak. Hopefully, he'd give her good news by the next day.

Now, he was in Y/N’s living room, waiting for her to finish getting ready before they went out to dinner. After contemplating how he’d talk to her about it, he’d decided dinner was the best option so he’d proposed the idea that they go out for a nice meal. He entertained himself by playing with Luna as he waited for her, watching the cat run around the apartment leaving chaos in her wake.

He looked up when he heard the sound of heels. Y/N emerged out of her room, looking beautiful in a white dress that hugged her figure gracefully. It was knee length, sleeveless and was complemented by a pair of tall white heels. Almost involuntarily, his gaze wandered up her legs, admiring the way the white of her dress contrasted with her brown skin. His eyes traced the curve of her hips – he’d once had the privilege of laying his hands on them, but now he could only stare longingly.

She cleared her throat and his eyes immediately darted away. She had an amused look on her face, clearly aware of where his thoughts had been. He just smirked back in response, as if to say “sue me”.

“You look beautiful” He said quietly.

“Thank you” She said. She was glowing more than usual, the happiness on her face evident.

“You look really happy” He noted, smiling at her. “It suits you”

“Well, it’s because I got that job I told you about!” She squealed in excitement.

His smile faltered. “What?”

“I was going to tell you over dinner, but I couldn’t wait” She shrugged happily, her delight evident.

“Wow” He was well and truly speechless. “Congratulations”

“Thank you” She beamed at him.

“So, you’ll be moving?” He dreaded the answer to that question.

She nodded in affirmation. “I’m really excited”

He thought about the cruel coincidences that had followed them for years; She left Paris as soon as he came back to Paris, and now she was leaving Madrid to Paris just as he was leaving Paris to come to Madrid. It felt like a cosmic joke from the universe, a message that they were never meant to be. The thing he wanted most in the world at the tip of his fingers, now gone. He felt tears prick his eyes but he blinked them away.

“Kylian, are you okay?” Y/N gave him a concerned look.

He put on his best fake smile, the one he reserved for journalists. “Yeah, I’m fine. Come on, let’s go celebrate”

tags: @kyliansonlygf @ynkfreeastheocean @scottishthistle @user6373738 @lucysantos6-blog @tuliptopiasstuff @kennasutopia @cinderellawithashoe @akiracim @kymb-10 @germanapples @ariesmai

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archangeldyke-all · 8 months

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Sevika × Lawyer!reader

I feel like Sevika would be spilling all the gossip. We all know this woman doesn't dance around the point, and her lawyer is just like, "NO. You CAN NOT say that on the stand."

this is SO funny it reminds me of a post that i'll try to find from a while back where someone was like 'sevika didn't even try to keep vi a secret from jinx she just loves to gab' jlsafkdjlfak

also, i have no idea how court proceedings or law in general works, so this is just me bullshitting lmaooo

men and minors dni

when you first started out as a lawyer, you were broke as shit, young, and incredibly overworked as a public defender.

in your first year practicing, you defended a man named silco, who was being charged with drug trafficking. his case was easy-- there wasn't enough evidence for a proper prosecution-- and you managed to get him off with no charges.

five years later, he approached you again. apparently, in the time since you'd last seen him, silco had built himself a successful shimmer business. you were still broke and overworked, but you weren't young and idealistic enough to want to be a public defender much longer. so, when silco asked you to become him and his crew's full time criminal defense lawyer, and when he showed you the paycheck he was willing to give you for your help, you eagerly took him up on his offer.

now, you're working full time under silco's employ. your typical day consists of giving silco legal advice, or bailing his teenage daughter out of jail. his crew is smart, they rarely get caught, but every once in a while you have to enter the courtroom to defend one or another of his goons who tripped up.

like today, for example.

sevika is silco's number two, his right hand woman. you've met her a few times in passing-- she likes to lurk, standing behind silco's desk as the two of you talk or chauffeuring the two of you down to the local precinct to get jinx out. but you've never had the chance to talk to her.

at least not until now.

sevika was arrested, suspected to be the ring leader of the local shimmer ring. she isn't, of course, and it should be relatively easy to get the charges dropped.

it should be.

but as you're talking with sevika in a private room, coaching her for her time on the stand, you realize that this might be one of the hardest cases of your life.

because sevika can't keep a secret to save her fucking life.

"okay, so where were you the night of the 24th?" you ask. sevika blinks.

"oh, was that a friday?" she asks. you nod. she chuckles. "i remember. me and silco were testing out some new product in his office all night. we got a bit carried away... called some girls over, drank the bar dry, heh, it was a good night." she says, smiling.

"sevika, we practiced this!" you say. sevika blinks at you.

"o-oh shit, right. uh, i was at home, in my apartment." she says.

"were you alone?" you ask.

"uh... yes?" she tries. you groan, and move onto a different line of questioning.

"what's your relationship to silco?" you ask. sevika cringes.

"ew, fuck, don't say relationship." she mumbles. you chuckle. "he's my boss." she says.

"and what do you do for work?"

"me or silco?"

"both."

"well, silco runs the operation, i keep his clients and goons in line."

"and what, exactly, is that operation?" you ask. sevika gulps.

"uh. b-buisness?" she tries. you snort. "he runs a bar." she says, biting her lip to keep from talking, likely trying to keep herself from adding on 'and he's the biggest shimmer producer in zaun.'

you're impressed by her restraint, and you smile at her. she grins.

"and what do you do to keep his 'goons' in line?"

"beat the shit outta them. sometimes more, if they really fucked up." she says, shrugging. you groan, leaning forward to smack your forehead against the table between you and your client.

"sevika. you're fucking with me, right?" you ask, dropping your lawyer voice to talk to the woman across from you. she hums.

"trust me, hotstuff, if i was fucking you, you'd notice." she says, smirking. you groan.

"that's not what i--!" you cut yourself off to take a deep breath. sevika grins. "don't give me that smile, you're gonna end up in prison if you don't get your act together!" you scold. sevika shrugs.

"would you come visit me?" she asks, batting her eyelashes at you. you huff.

"cut it out." you say. "this is serious, sevika, how the fuck are you so bad at lying?"

"i dunno. fuck do i have to lie for? i say what i mean, and i mean what i say." she says. "like, for example, i'd really like to get to know you better. both mind and body." she says, smirking again. you can't contain your laugh, despite the growing concern you have for the woman in front of you.

"i can't go out with clients." you say. sevika pouts.

"why not?"

"i could lose my license." you say. you shuffle through your papers as sevika eye fucks you, trying not to get distracted by your attractive client. "okay, let's try some easier questions. when did you start working for silco?" you ask.

"ten years ago."

"and he immediately appointed you to second in command?"

"fuck yeah he did. have you seen me fight? he'd be stupid not to."

"sevika!" you cry. she blinks.

"what?"

"you can't say that! you can't say any of this!" you rant, raising from your seat to begin pacing. "you-- do you want to end up in stillwater? because that's where you're headed if you don't get your head out of your ass and start taking this seriously."

sevika blinks at you, a smirk on her lips, one of her eyebrows raised. "you're hot when you're angry." she says. you could strangle her. instead, you throw a handful of papers at her head. she squawks and dodges them, and you scrub your forehead in frustration.

you take a break, slumping down in your chair and collecting your thoughts. sevika pulls out a joint, and you make grabby hands for it. she snorts as she hands it to you.

"don't think you're supposed to get high on the job."

"yeah, well you're giving me a migraine. gimmie." you demand, snatching the joint out of her hand and putting it between your lips. sevika just giggles, lighting the end for you as you inhale. "thank you." you say after a moment, exhaling the smoke and passing the joint back to your client. she takes a hit and relaxes back in her chair, her eyes not leaving yours.

"fuck are you looking at?" you ask. sevika shrugs.

"you're very attractive." she says simply. "i've always thought so. and now you're all huffy and angry at me-- it's only making me like you more." she says again. blunt as ever. you sigh.

"tell you what." you say after a while, taking the joint from her mouth and putting it in your own. you take a hit, rising from your seat and rounding the table, before sitting on the table top right in front of her. you blow the smoke out in her face, and sevika blinks up at you, stars in her eyes. "if you start taking this seriously, and if you don't end up incriminating yourself on the stand, once the charges are dropped-- which they will be if you get your shit together-- i'll let you take me out to dinner." you say.

sevika grins. "really?" she asks. you nod. "dinner and dessert?" she asks, her eyes dragging down your body. you snort.

"don't push your luck." you mumble. sevika just smiles.

she ends up getting her act together pretty quickly after that. you aren't sure if she was truly that motivated by your offer-- or if she was just being obnoxious before-- but either way, you're happy.

when her day in court arrives, sevika's cool, calm, and collected. you aren't. you're nervous as shit, worried that she'll slip up while being questioned.

before the judge arrives, sevika nudges your foot with hers under the table. you look up from your papers to stare at her. "what?" you ask.

"relax. 'm not gonna fuck up a chance at goin' out with you." she whispers. you huff a laugh.

"you're ridiculous."

"mhm, and you like it." she says.

she ends up doing great. there are a few moments where she nervously eyes you from her spot on the stand, and you have to dig your nails into your palm to keep from mouthing the lies you'd rehearsed together to her. she figures it out though.

and when court is dismissed, after the charges being dropped, you don't even leave the courthouse before sevika's tugging you into a supply closet and pressing you against the door.

you smile at her.

"i did it!" she says, giddily. you giggle. "you did it!" she adds on, shaking you by your shoulders. your giggle turns into a full-blown laugh, and sevika grins at you.

"congratulations, sev, you're a free woman."

"free to do this too, right?" she asks, her hands coming up to cup your face. you snort and nod.

"i guess a deal's a deal." you say. sevika giggles.

"oh please, like you haven't been counting down the days until you could get your hands on me." she mumbles, rolling her eyes. you giggle and shrug.

"i plea the fifth." you say. sevika laughs, and then you tug her forward by her suit jacket to press her smiling lips against yours.

taglist!

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