#different from what im used to. it's so sad but im not used to feeling energized or happy and i dont know how to handle it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
daisymbin · 1 day ago
Text
[19:51] - choi seungcheol
a/n: as you can tell by now, im down so bad for this man...the amount of fics I've written for him....sickening
check out my masterlist!
"if you don't love me anymore, you can just tell me."
the words tumble out of seungcheol's mouth as if they’ve been sitting on his tongue for hours, maybe even days. his voice is quiet but firm, and it catches you completely off guard. the two of you are sitting together on the couch, the usual comfortable silence between you both now feeling...strained.
you turn to look at him, your eyes widening at the unexpected confession. "what?" you ask, the confusion evident in your voice. you’ve been in a relationship with him for so long that you never expected him to say something like that.
he doesn’t meet your gaze right away. instead, he stares ahead, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. you can tell he’s trying to look calm, but there’s a tension in his shoulders and a flicker of doubt in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. it makes your heart twist, and you instinctively reach out to touch his arm.
"cheol..what are you talking about?" you ask softly, your fingers brushing his skin. "why would you even say that?"
he finally turns to face you, his expression more vulnerable than you’ve ever seen. there’s a sadness there, like he’s been carrying something heavy for a while, unsure of whether he should put it down.
"i just... i don’t know," he says, his voice wavering slightly. "i feel like things have been... different between us lately. like maybe you’re not as into me anymore. and it’s been bothering me, but i didn’t know how to bring it up."
your heart drops at his words, and you immediately pull him closer, your hand on his cheek. "cheol-ah, that’s not true," you say urgently. "i’ve been distracted, busy with work, with life. but i still love you. nothing’s changed."
he sighs, his eyes softening as he leans into your touch. "i don’t know," he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper. "it just feels like we’ve been drifting apart. and i’m scared. scared that you don’t love me the way you used to."
you shake your head, a lump forming in your throat. how could he think that? how could he even question your feelings after all this time?
"choi seungcheol," you say, your voice firm now, trying to reassure him. "i’m not going anywhere. i love you more than anything. but i don’t always show it in the ways you expect, and maybe that’s where the disconnect is. but i love you. i always have & i always will."
he looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of relief and hesitance. "you still love me?" he asks, as though he needs to hear it again.
"yes," you reply, your heart full of emotion. "i still love you. i always will."
for a moment, he just stares at you, his face slowly breaking into a smile. it’s a small, relieved smile, but it’s the most genuine one you’ve seen from him in days.
"okay," he says, his voice quiet but full of warmth. "i just needed to hear that."
you smile back at him, feeling the weight lift off your chest. "i’m sorry i made you worry," you whisper, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "but i’m here, and i’m not going anywhere."
seungcheol lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "i don’t know what i’d do without you."
you chuckle, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "well, don't even think about that then, it won't ever happen."
seungcheol pulls you into a hug, holding you tight against him. "i love you," he whispers, his voice full of sincerity.
"i love you too," you reply, your heart swelling in your chest.
206 notes · View notes
merakiui · 17 hours ago
Note
here’s some ace thoughts since i just saw your recent event ace posts. crowley wouldn’t let you stay at ramshackle over summer. so you tell grim to find someone to stay with since you can’t guarantee a job for yourself and although you’re fine with sleeping in the street you don’t want grim to. he probably goes all sad to deuce who tells their entire dorm but before anyone can make a plan ace just walks off. he find finds you and tells you you’re staying with him.
“but ace, did you even ask your parents?”
“it’ll be fine.”
“what if they already have a long term guest you don’t know about sleeping in the couch? you can’t just bring me in without asking!”
“the couch? i’m not stingy like you, we’re sharing my bed.”
“thank you but i insist im okay.”
“———, i’ll always take care of you.”
Omg yes!! You and Grim staying with Ace and his family for the summer!!!! The way Ace's older brother would poke fun at him for his (very obvious) crush on you. >:D and Ace just insists it's "not like that." No way he's crushing on you! He scoffs at the idea, but his cheeks are red and he's starting to stumble over his words.....
Ace who takes you to all the best places in his hometown, certain you'll enjoy them. Maybe you even meet up with Deuce somewhere! Summertime romance with Ace.... there was no shame in sharing a room and even a bed or fighting over who gets to use the sink to do their morning routine first. You're best friends, so everything is perfectly fine and platonic! ...or is it? >:)
That movie moment where you turn around and ask if he's coming while he's stopped to tie his shoe or something, and he just looks at you in a completely different light then because the feelings and vibe have been shifting ever since school let out for the summer and wow. Have you always looked so nice when the sun is framing you perfectly and has your smile always been so bright? AAAA what is he thinking!!!!!
And Grim can tell something's up with Ace. He keeps looking between the two of you, always wondering... sometimes it's a relief Grim's there because he makes for the perfect scapegoat when Ace wants to take you somewhere but doesn't want it to seem like he's asking you on a date. BECAUSE HE'S NOT!!! This is for you and Grim!! Don't get it twisted!!! Of course he completely understands why you might want to go out with "yours truly" (you roll your eyes at that), but it's just a simple hang-out. It's also not a relief because sometimes Grim just makes the awkward tension even worse and he doesn't even mean to do so. T_T
Or when Ace's older brother shares all kinds of embarrassing stories about Ace or when his parents leaf through photo albums, and Ace is begging them to stop because noooo all of his aura and swag are gone the minute you hear about that one time he tripped over his laces or that day he fell for his older brother's dumb pranks or that one awkward photo of him from middle school... he has a reputation to uphold as a cool guy (in front of you) and this is so not helping!!!!
104 notes · View notes
lollytea · 3 months ago
Text
I found some pictures of me from 2019 and I'm experiencing such indescribable emotions
23 notes · View notes
butchhansolo · 2 years ago
Text
in-universe "logistics" aside, i think it's good that echo has the permanent scomp arm instead of a hand for like. real-world representation reasons.
in star wars sure they have fully articulated replacement prosthetics but we very much don't have that in real life, and i feel like echo with the scomp is good rep for that. he's one of the most competent characters and i think it's good to show that he can do All That as he is, especially with how irl people with only one hand usually are very capable, even more if they've been living with it for a long time, and very rarely do we see that in media.
like, mark hamill once said he talked to a kid for a make a wish thing who was about to have his arm amputated, and the kid said that he wasn't worried because luke did it too. i think that's important
217 notes · View notes
girlthativealwaysbeen · 1 month ago
Note
pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
12 notes · View notes
evermoredeluxe · 1 year ago
Text
.
36 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago
Text
...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
13 notes · View notes
quirkle2 · 1 month ago
Text
as a huge spyro year of the dragon fan i Hate the reignited trilogy they took all the charm and nostalgia out of it BUT ... spyro's walking/running animation ? they perfected that.
#qktalks#world's most satisfying animation i could watch him hop around like that for hours. he's so ........ noodle-like#but they also took away his slow wing-flap animation from the original#like the one that's used when he's just standing there. he flaps his wings out very slowly in a constant rhythm#they took that away too. garbage game 0/10 /silly#they also made hunter .......so fucking ugly ?? whyd they do that to him . he didn't deserve this#for people unfamiliar with spyro look up spyro 3 original hunter vs reignited hunter you'll wanna vomit#idk i feel like reignited just didn't need to be made ?#a port of the original woulda been fucking BOMB. im of the opinion that old games don't Need to be remade#they just need to be ported/remastered or Whatever. and maybe tinkered with a Little if some aspect of the game was horrid for any reason#but also im of the opinion that u CAN do a good remake. if ur careful.#i don't think spyro needed all those graphic upgrades or that cartoonish realism#yeah the environments r pretty and they did a fine job w that i don't have an issue with the environments i have an issue w the characters#overall i think ?? bianca was done pretty well. she looks similar enough in face-shape to 3's original design#can't rly pinpoint anything in particular that's strange abt her. maybe her eyes? but idk what they coulda done differently#the sorceress is fine ... i kinda wish they made her head a little wider and kept the gradual change in scale color intact but#she's okay too#the fairies look bad<33333#spyro himself .... he looks okay ?#there's something Different about his face shape i kinda wish they'd kept everything a bit .... smaller? idk how to describe it#but it doesn't bother me that much i think they did a good job. lord knows they did better than skylanders .............#i also have an issue with the animations in general#idk how to explain it but the Way the characters move ............. it irks me#it's just so unnatural ? how they move and gesture when they talk? it's not Bad Animation it looks rly good graphically speaking#but idk. this isn't a spyro thing in particular it's just that animation style that i dislike#playing reignited just makes me sad. playing the original comforts me. playing reignited makes me sad that im not playing the original#u can remake an old game made of approximately 18 polygons and make it look good AND make it look like the original#u just have to be careful about the geometry and the level of detail and the eye shapes
4 notes · View notes
mariemariemaria · 10 months ago
Text
Does anybody else feel the waves of history crashing over them constantly and like they can't escape the generational trauma that permeates and poisons every interaction they have or do I just need to chill and have a drink lol
#'our day has come and we are here. we are alive here. we've built this place. we suffered and starved here.#we own not an acre of land we belong to it. the land of cú chullain and macha. ní muid 'hungry crocodiles'. we are full.#full of knowledge. and talent. and success.#full of drink. and drugs. and stories.#agus beautiful ceol. that spills on sundays. from the windows of ancient pubs like smoke#tá vóta agam. tá acht Gaeilge agam. agus táimid sa rialtas.#we are the landscape. we are the trees and the rivers and the mountains. an integral piece of someone else's infrastructure.#growing strong between cracks in the concrete.'#and whatever else seán an seanchaí said.....#would recommend his instagram. his posts always hit#ngl tho when men post stuff like this about ireland i always think...do you see the similarities between this and patriarchy tho?#but maybe im better off not knowing the answer#whatever!!! we will persevere!!! we will help one another and build trust and relations and improve no matter what governments say or do!!!#just like generations have been doing before us!!! and we who have benefited from our parents making this place better will work to make it#better for our children. who will make it better for theirs.#and maybe i need to stop shying away from difficult conversations. maybe we all do. and maybe then we'll be okay.#my thoughts on mental health + the north + my own personal experience is such a mish mash of several different things#im only truly starting to realise that it's all connected. yes i got depression because i was lonely and vulnerable. but also because of th#trauma my family's been through. and sometimes i feel so angry thinking about what certain family members have been through#and there has been too much silence surrounding it. but maybe i just have to feel the anger and sadness and allow myself to feel it#but continue reaching out and trying to talk and having cups of tea and walking my dog and making memories.#memories that aren't political or based on trauma. to get out of my head and realise that yes this was a terrible thing#but there's so many good things too. and the best thing i can do is to try to make life better for those who lived through the worst of it#and make society better for those who are too young to know any of it yet.#instagram is actually a tonic for me sometimes. would never get such taig specific posts on here like the one from seán#which is probably a good thing lol
11 notes · View notes
radrobotz · 3 months ago
Text
i think the funniest ocs ive ever had were it was like a next gen crossover au where all webseries (of the 2000s-2010s for reference) exist in the same world but its like the kids of the characters and the main character (and couple) were an eddsworld fankid and a dick figures fankid
#i dont think i Ever got around to making any other characters i doodled tf out of it in a journal that. idk where it is#lost forever or thrown out which is sort of sad i feel like theres gotta be smth in there....#anyways i think that would be a funny idea for an au still actually but i rewrote the ew kid into a different story#and the mild inspiration for the au gives me the ick i never even read it just thought ''oh big xover cool''#though i think. the ew kid when i first rewrote him i think i gave him a crossover fankid s/o again but idk what the fandom was#cuz i had mentioned it on the blog i was using him on and was vague about it#from context clues in my mind from that time. first year or so of highschool. fucked up it mightve been a tmnt fankid#ALSOOOOO so everyone can rest well. the ew fankid was the kid of one of the main guys BUT!!! the mom is never specified#and i dont think i had a mom in mind the kid looks like 99% like his dad#the dick figures girl was blue x pink obviously. was her name pink. the fankid was called magenta#i swear there was at least 1 other character i mightve had when i first made it. but that would be in Lost Journal#i bet if i kept it going i wouldve had a htf kid or a charlie the unicorn kid cuz i was sick in the heeeaaaaddd#i never posted like anything about it. 1 pic on dA long deleted and talked abt them to The RP Girl#i still love the ew kid dearly but its bc i saved him from That#ACTUALLY THE EXTRA FUNNIEST FCKING THING WAS IN CHATS for some reason despite how eddsworld is#i accidentally implied the fankid was. born in canada. cuz im canadian and it leaked into the writing#DUNNO WHAT THE EW GUY WOULD BE DOING IN CANADA but that detail which i only realized NOW is rlly funny to me i want it canon
2 notes · View notes
alligaytorswamp · 1 year ago
Text
Im kind of feeling like i can't take it anymore
#vent#bad sad sleep-deprived and mentally ill#i am currently crying myself to sleep just fucking sobbing because everything hurts#my brain is failing me my body us failing me#i dont know what to do with myself#so many things are happening so many things hurt and i have no body to talk to#i have never felt so utterly alone#i hate myself for even writing this because i feel so pathetic and as if im just whining for attention#because i probably am#some lame ass cry for help because i really don't know how to function at this point#truly i am just so fucking alone#and there is just so much that is happening and i cant share it with anyone so it just all stays in my stupid brain and#probably makes me more mentally ill or smth#and for however long all i do is keep myself from crying during the day bc i cant let my family catch me having mental breakdowns#yet i have all of these painful thoughts that are plaguing my mind all the fucking time#i am just so so tired#and i keep thinking about death and it's so fucking scary#i just wish i wasn't myself and i had a different brain i could be better than this because maybe then i would be fine#at home im in toxic hell#in online spaces i have no one actually close to me#in my brain i have horrible thoughts and hardcore daydreaming distactions that dont fix anything#in my course i think im not doing well enough and im scare dthat my the end of it im still going to be a useless unemployed moron#on my silly blog i think if i dont make content i have no value and ehatever i make is not even that good or interesting#so i better cover it up with quantity but i dont have time or ability to do so#which again makes me into a fucking Nothing#god my head hurts so much#that's what u get for wailing at 4 am#anyways i am doing horrible and i can't take it anymore truly reaching my fucking limit#all my fault tho so ☺#delete later and if someone actually reads it Um sorry for this i am hashtag unwell 😋💫
11 notes · View notes
dockaspbrak · 7 months ago
Text
A big thank you to my mutuals who like my nervous breakdown 2-4am posts. You're the backbone of my blog
#its like im not completely alone#idk#what losing a cat does to a woman i guess but#lets be real i was like this before#im just a sad person who laments more than takes action and#i think ill be sad forever probably#in that way some people are#i feel like im one reality over from where im supposed to be yakno?#i used to have this image id hold onto of leaves in the sunlight when i was a kid and i kept waiting for someone to talk to me who#would take me wherever that was#maybe thats the nature of never fitting in u get too in your head and then#reality doesnt feel like home#yeah ive heard people say shit like that sbout books#sorry im not wearing my glasses#lately days blend together and i feel like i cant hold into time#and people talking to me (when they do) sounds miles away#takes ages to get to me if it does at all#oops! sounds like im dissociating hahahahaah oh fuck#when u write it all out. stares at ya right in the face#if im not doing something it feels like my anxiety will latch onto anything#like. rn i feel like im gonna throw up bc of like 5 different things about my car#car insurance. registration. trying to find a job#then it spirals into what ifs. and how thatd suck#constantly this shit. constantly! the only reprieve is going to hang w my grandmother who is 90 and talking about death a lot#��‍💫#but shes my best friend so ???! fuck!#man idk. im so sad. idek what to do abt this. work out#maybe get a new actor to have a crush on#what makes people happy? idk#em yaps
2 notes · View notes
deathlonging · 8 months ago
Text
i think my primary issue with daevabad 3 is there's too much war criminal. why are we spending a third of this unnecessarily long winded novel in his head while he kills people like whats the point + the author likes him far too much to treat his character as seriously as she should........yes most of this is personal preference but also. it isnt like you cant take a villain with a personality if you've read of john and kennit (and enjoyed their character greatly). it's just the way none of what the author is depicting seems purposeful. the impact of this book would not have lessened one bit had the author not put a treat w a string attached in the reader's mouth; dara's pov adds nothing
3 notes · View notes
holyviolence · 10 months ago
Text
knitting and watching video game streams, gonna have some of my favorite soup that my mom made for me when i visited her today, didn't have to see my dad either! could not be having a better time. like i could go on. it's nice.
2 notes · View notes
sirompp · 1 year ago
Text
the way some of you guys talk about ai is um. kind of concerning? like you know image generation and chatgpt arent the only kinds of ais in the world right.
#i feel like im swinging at a wasps nest with this one but#the way some of you guys declare your passionate hatred for any and all ai. its um. worrying to me?#like yes there is a lot of ethical problems. with the two kinds of ai people seem to fuckin know about#There Are So Many Other Kinds Of Ai (Which Have Their Own DIFFERENT Ethical Problems)#like agi (artificial general intelligence)#agi is like what everyone used to think about when they talked about ai. the kind thats supposed to become like. ''sentient''#ok well not sentient but. thats supposed to be able to learn how a human can#i dont know. is this a weird thing for me to feel iffy about.#is it too early for me to be worrying were gonna invent a whole new kind of bigotry#im pretty sure we're eventually gonna make an ai thats indistinguishable from humans in like. a Living way#not a The Kinds Of Things It Makes Look So Normal way#why do i think this? bc i am an optimist and have wanted this to happen since i was an itty bitty baby. and if we dont ill be sad#people saying ai should be like. outlawed bc of what corporations are doing is so wild to me.#like imagine every day you go to school you and your friends get beaten up with baseball bats#and you decide baseball must be banned from the school bc of how many people the bats harm daily#instead of thinking for a moment and realizing. maybe the fucking jocks who r hitting you need to be expelled instead of the sport#that the bats came from.#does that metaphor make sense.#or am i making up a guy to get mad at#i dont know.#i might delete this later
7 notes · View notes
silverislander · 11 months ago
Text
i'm in the process of watching a bunch of american zombie movies to prep for my honours essay next semester (i'm gonna talk abt them in the context of generational fears!! i'm really excited) and just. man. all the pre-night of the living dead are pretty explicitly racist in some really insidious ways and too many of the post-living dead ones are too
3 notes · View notes