#diego hargreeves x eudora patch

[feralandflirty]

Wait wtf are Eudora Patch and Diego Hargreeves so Night Shift by Lucy Dacus coded?

I am unwell.

[hellomagicalsouls]

im excited to find out what Lila and Diego name their child. wondering if Diego would honour Eudora? if it's a girl?

but he's the biggest mama day ever so Grace is absolutely in there somewhere

Grace Eudora Hargreeves-Pitts??

that kid is gonna be unhinged, it's gonna rivel Klaus honesty

[velvet4510]

Note: anyone who thinks I should’ve included a certain pair of siblings in this poll, get away from my blog immediately. Also I know Ben & Jill aren’t technically a couple, but his crush on her is too adorable for me to not include them.

[eggcompany]

Diego's a Mommy's Boy Part 3

“Um… Dora?” Diego said as he walked up to her as she folded laundry. He hugged her from behind. She knew it was because he didn’t want her to see his face.

“Yeah baby, what’d you need?” She said and kept folding. He let his hands clasp in front of her stomach and let his chin rest on her shoulder.

“Can…. Can we do… it… Thursday. You have the day off…” Diego said quietly, like a secret. He squeezed her a little bit and she put down the shirt she folded and squeezed his hands and patted them.

“Sure sweetie! Do you want me to help you with prep or do you want to do that by yourself?” She asked. She wanted to make sure he knew that it was a good thing to ask and that it was okay to want this.

“…by myself…” He mumbled and let go of her. He turned to leave but she caught him by the elbow and spun him around to face her.

“Okay well that's the day after tomorrow so I’ll get everything tomorrow. Thank you for telling me.” Eudora said and kissed his forehead. Diego smiled and nodded. There was a low spark in his gut, he was so excited and nervous.

Eudora did as she told him and bought the remaining supplies needed for this adventure the next day.

“Mommyyyy it feels weir-weird! I don’t think I can-can do this… will you help m-m-me please? I kn-kn-ow know it’s icky and all so if you don’t want to you don’t have t-to…” Diego mumbled from the bathroom. 

He was attempting to use the small enema Eudora had bought but it felt so strange. The water was cold and he didn’t know how far he needed to put it in and he needed to hold it at a weird angle and he was just having trouble. 

Eudora smiled and walked to the unlocked bathroom. She had been double checking everything, everything was cleaned and sanitized and everything was where it should be.

Diego was sitting on the toilet holding the enema below his ass and looked so pitiful sitting in just his thick cotton socks and his black sweater. He pouted and looked so frustrated and embarrassed. Eudora thought it was the cutest thing she’d seen in a while. She went over to him and pulled his arm up and kissed his forehead.

“It’s okay baby. I’m sure it can be hard all by yourself. I don’t mind at all. How about you stand up and grab the back of the toilet. Good boy. Good job.” Eudora said and took the small bottle from Diego as he stood and turned around. Diego’s arms shook a bit.

Eudora ran her hand down his hip a few times when she saw how tense he was. Diego breathed deeply a few times and slowly relaxed.

“Good boy. Relax Diego. Big breath in, and out.” Eudora said and when Diego let the air out she slowly pressed the thin white end all the inside until the tip was fully inside. Diego whined and wiggled his hips back and forth a little bit but Eudora grabbed his hip.

“Still. I’m gonna fill you and when I pull this out you keep it inside. Do not let it out until I tell you. Understand?” Eudora says and got a grip on the small bottle. Diego hummed but Eudora pinched his hip which caused him to yelp but nod and answer.

“I understand mommy.” Diego says and groans as the chilly liquid floods his insides. It felt strange and loose and he really doesn’t like it. He whimpered and sniffled and groaned.

“I don’t like this! It’s cold and it feels… gross.” Diego whined and Eudora shushed him and slowly pulled the tip out.

“Hold. It. In. I know it doesn’t feel too good but keep it in. I’m going to go finish what I was doing and you don’t let a single drop out. Be good.” Eudora said and watched Diego clench right after the tip finally slipped out. He whined but nodded.

“Okay, I’ll do my best.” Diego said and smiled fakely. Eudora kissed his face and ruffled his hair. His skin was hot and she felt the tension radiating off of him.

“Perfect. Perfect boy. Just hold on for a few minutes.” Eudora said and kissed him again and left the bathroom. She didn’t shut the door because Diego needed to know he was being watched, he was being looked after even alone.

Eudora finished putting the bedding folded to the side. There was only a sheet and a few pillows left on the bed, they had read that if the one receiving could be propped up on pillows it would help. She walked back into the bathroom and Diego looked at her hopefully but she shook her head.

She thought he might just break out in tears, his face was red with effort and his back end was tense. She quickly grabbed a towel and laid it out in the middle of the bed. No need to lay in cum and whatever might spill.

She stood there for a moment just to make Diego suffer just a little bit more.

“Okay sweetheart keep it in and sit down and then relax. Don’t spill any on the floor.” Eudora instructed him as she pulled the door shut. Diego quickly moved. After a moment she heard him whining and flushed the toilet. He opened the door and pouted, his legs shook slightly and he was moving back and forth shifting his thighs and ass.

“Do I really have to do that again? Isn’t once enough?” He pleaded. He really didn’t like it but… it wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t intolerable. He just really didn’t want to do it again.

Eudora came over and grabbed his chin between her thumb and pointer finger gently lifting his head.

“I’ll do it for you and I’ll use nice warm water. Don’t you just wanna get it over with so I can eat out that cute little ass. After this I can get my mouth on you.” She says and stares into his eyes. He lets out a shaky breath and nods. He steps back to get in the same position.

“Thank you, mommy…” He mumbled quietly. Eudora hummed and smiled when she noticed his cock growing heavy. She took the now used enema and tossed away the now dirtied tip and grabbed the clean new one from the box. She turned the tap on and waited for the water to grow warm but not hot. She filled the bottle up and screwed on the new tip.

“Diego, baby, you’re doing so well. This one is going to go halfway and then you let it out and do the other half. You don’t need to hold it in very long. Do you want me to stay in here or close the door?” Eudora asked and used her hand to spread his cheeks again. Diego tensed and then relaxed.

“You can stay… Please don’t watch.” Diego says and Eudora slips the tip back in. It was much easier this time. She gave it a short squeeze and then pulled it out. Diego thought it felt kind of… not bad. Not good , but not bad.

He stood still for a few moments before Eudora patted his back.

“Go ahead and let it out.” The submissive quickly moved and looked down, blushing fire red. Eudora refilled the small bottle with more water. There was a short splashing noise and then Diego wiped and flushed.

“Mommy… um… Can I ask you something?” Diego said nervously as he cupped himself where he stood. Eudora cocked her head and looked at him.

“Yeah baby, always. What’s wrong?” She says and keeps her distance. Diego just keeps his eyes down as he speaks.

“I… don’t think I want you to… to put your mouth there. I just want your fingers and and my toy. I’m sorry Mommy.” Diego says nervously. She had just done all this work so she could eat him out but he feels… he doesn’t want it. He feels like he’s still dirty and gross even after the long shower and the washing out. 

Later he realized he didn’t feel dirty because of anything actually dirty but because of the hair around his hole.

Eudora steps forward and kisses him. She lets her hands lay on his hips for a moment before slipping them down to grab his ass. He gasped and she slipped her tongue into his mouth. He let out deep little moans as she ran her hands up under his shirt. She lifted it up as she ran her hands up his back. 

This was the start. The peeling away of his last safety layer.

They pull away and Eudora pants while Diego just looks at her with unfocused eyes. She quickly flicks the shirt up off of his body and he lets his arms wrap around her under her arms. He pressed his own nudity against her. 

She was clad in a lacey see through bralette and a pair of nice matching black lace panties. He groaned and pushed his chest up against hers. He always liked the feeling of lace rubbing on his chest or on his cock, plus in his foggy dumb little brain 

Eudoras boobs were the best things ever in the whole world. The way the soft skin moved and the way her nipples hardened when he rubs on them.

“Hey~ Diego~ Earth to baby~” Eudora said and lifted up his chin where he had been staring down at where their chests met as he pulled back and squished her breasts back up. He looked at her and nodded. He was ready.

Eudora grabbed his hand and walked him to the bed.

“Do you want to get your collar or do you just want to be my baby without it?” Eudora asks quietly as she stepped into the strap on. Diego shook his head and got on his hands and knees on the bed. Eudora situated the straps and knelt behind him.

“You look beautiful like this. Really beautiful but…” Eudora said and pulled on Diego’s elbows so he fell onto his forearms. He was face down, ass up now. He whined and thought about how embarrassing it was. He was out on display, his cock hung heavy between his thighs, his hole was just out and open and still kinda wet…

Eudora bent down and kissed his right cheek and then bit it. Diego jumped and whined as Eudora licked the spot.

“Even better. So perfect. You look perfect. Now this may be cold but it’ll warm up.” Eudora said and popped open the cap on the small bottle of lube. She slicked two of her fingers and ran her pointer around his hole. She had done this a few times now while giving him reach arounds or blowjobs. 

He hummed in pleasure and relaxed, easily letting the finger sink into him. Diego clenched a little bit but relaxed again as Eudora started to thrust her finger in and out.

“Gotta get you all slick, you’re so hot inside. Look at your little prick, it’s already dripping! Dirty boy.” She said and slipped in the second finger. Diego moaned and sighed and stayed relaxed. His cock was hard and red and oozing a steady little stream of precum dripping down connecting his tip to the towel under his hips.

When Eudora bent her fingers and tapped slightly on the spot Diego moaned loudly and pushed his hips back and clunked his forehead down between his clenched fists.

“Momm-mommy… ah ah mommy that’s my sp-spot!” Diego cried out and Eudora pulled her fingers out. She opened the lube bottle again and let a few drops fall right onto his hole. Diego tensed and whined.

“I know that’s your spot. Look at your prick, all drippy and wet. Are you gonna cum from just me pushing this inside? Huh when I fill you up?” Eudora says and sits up and rubs the tip of the dildo around his entrance, fueling his moaning. He rubs back onto it and tries to push himself back on it. Eudora grabs his hip with one hand and taps his hole with the soft silicone for a moment.

“Please mommy! Please, please, please, please I’m gonna cum!” Diego cries out and yells out loudly as Eudora pushes through the slick rings of muscle. Diego trembled and tensed up he let out loud ‘ Ah ah ah ’ s. Eudora pulled back but Diego quickly tried to grab behind him and grab her.

“No! No more! I can’t again…” He whimpers. His entire body shook and his back heaved with deep struggled breaths. 

Eudora instantly held still and tried to figure out what was wrong. Did it snag a hair? Did it hurt? Not enough lube? 

All the questions she answers ended when Diego slowly pulled himself off the toy and flumped onto his side. His thighs still trembled. His eyes were fogged and dazed and he was sweating. Eudora looked at him to see if he was hurt but…

“Aw~ Baby boy, did you cum? You really cam… I didn’t think you’d actually be able to cum just from… the back. Wow… okay, okay, okay breathe easy and let me just clean up a little.” Eudora said. Diego’s cock was slowly softening and his spend was covering the towel. 

Diego didn’t answer, he just laid there and closed his eyes. 

Eudora was in awe as she folded the towel and put it on the floor and took off the strap on. She unfolded their blanket and pulled it up over the man. She laid down and pulled the pillows that hadn’t even had the chance to get used up to the head of the bed. She reclined against them and pulled the dazed man up to straddle her and lay against her chest. She gently rubbed his back up and down.

An hour later Diego perks up from where he was sleeping on his side of the bed. He was wrapped up in the blanket still naked. He sat up and winced. His ass hurt . He stood up and found a pair of his sweatpants. He walked out to see Eudora looking at something on her laptop. She stood up and came over to him once she noticed him.

“Hey there’s my little porcupine. How do you feel? Come sit down, let me get you a drink.” Eudora says and cradles his face in her hands. Diego nods and yawns as he goes to sit down on the couch. He sits down and winces again and ends up leaning against the arm of the seat.

Eudora returns with a glass of water and sits down next to him on the couch. She sat down and rubbed his feet while he took a bid drink.

“My ass hurts kinda… sorry I kinda ruined the fun…” He said quietly and flashed his eyes up to her.

“You didn’t ruin anything. That was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Now for your bottom, how about you go get a nice long hot bath and that should help. Did you have fun, though?” Eudora said and Diego fidgeted a bit before answering.

“I had fun… I feel kinda…” Diego said and trialed off and put his hand on his lower stomach. Eudora thought she might know what he was wanting.

“Kind of what, baby?” Eudora prompted him to finish. Diego drank the rest of his water and handed it to his girlfriend.

“Empty. Can you… Will you put my plug inside? Just for my bath. I can take it out after by myself.” Diego said and blushed again. Eudora smiled and got up. 

She put the glass in the sink and walked to the bedroom. She came back with the bottle of slick and the small plug. Diego took a deep breath and tried to calm the fire that was starting in his belly. He felt excited, very excited.

“Hands and knees, only for a second. While you sit in the bath I’m gonna make a snack run so we can just relax and watch a movie after dinner. Want me to get you some M&Ms?” She said as Diego rolled over and up onto his knees, holding onto the armrest.

“Yes please… and some Twizzlers please.” Diego said and Eudora hummed a yes and pulled down the sweatpants. She spread him open with one hand and rubbed a bit of slick around the outside of his hole and then pressed the cold plug up to his hole. He jumped and clenched up.

“ Cold! ” He whimpered and she kissed his lower back.

“Sorry baby. Remind me next time to warm it up. Now relax and it’ll only be cold for a little bit.” Eudora said in a pity laced voice. Diego sighed and relaxed his hole and let the metal slip into him. 

His breath caught in his throat and he tensed as Eudora pulled his pants back up. She patted his butt and stood up to find her shoes. She was just going to the convenience store so the sweat pants and old ratty T-shirt were fine. Diego moved to stand and stumbled.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” She said and came to his side. His hands were shaking slightly.

“Feels… heavy. Nice. It feels nice.” he stuttered out and his eyes flashed up and then he breathed out. He stands up and walks awkwardly to the bathroom.

Oh yeah… Eudora is definitely going to have to explore more about this new side of her baby...

[sizzy-ling]

now that the show is finally over dare I publicly admit that I am a diego x patch truther??

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Throwback Fic Week: tell my father (this is my life)

Next up: tell my father (this is my life).

Is it cheating if I post the combined fic for an entire series? Maybe. But this is my account and I do what I want. 

Welcome to my Season 1, Episode 9 Umbrella Academy AU in which Ben convinced Klaus to fight to let Vanya out of the cell in the basement. The AU is entirely focused on exploring these kids’ trauma and their healing processes, while also casually exploring their queer indentities. Each fic/chapter was focused on a different character, exploring their backstories and also their lives living together, sorting through old hurts while learning how to heal together. Also, almost every character is queer, and it was fun to explore not just Vanya and Klaus being bisexual, but Diego’s transgender identity, Five and Alison’s asexual identity, and Luther’s aromanticism through the lens of their trauma and how that intersects with both their experiences growing up under Hargreeves and them trying to make an identity for themselves. I also took the first season’s establishment of Klaus’ powers and brought back Patch, Ben, and Dave because I could. Also, it somehow developed a tiny plot in which I sort of predicted that Season 2 would open up the possibility of an eighth sibling- though, in my case, it was an evil sibling who happens to be Jack the Ripper and who joined the Agency.

Excerpt:

"Five's so small," Allison says quietly, "He's so old, but he's so small," and Diego nods. He understands. Dear god, he understands.

"He's our brother," Diego says, "And he's gone through as much shit as we have, and then some."

Allison nods. "And we weren't there for most of it."

Diego thinks about all the shit that they've all gone through that none of them supported each other through. Vanya being excluded and verbally abused, Klaus' drug addiction, Allison's divorce, Luther's years on the moon, Diego's time on the force and his transition process, Ben's death. Five's gone through a lot more shit, but they've all been alone and driven apart in their own ways. "I think most of us have gone through some shit that the others weren't there for. But now- now, we can help him heal."

Allison fixes him with a steady gaze, and Diego doesn't flinch.

She looks so old and yet so young at the same time. The scar on her neck is still rather dark and there are crows' feet around the edges of her eyes that weren't there the last time he saw her before Dad's funeral, six years ago at Ben's funeral. She's so mature, now, in a way she never was before. He wonders if it has to do with Claire or has to do with the fact that she's stopped using her powers, or if it's something of a mix of the two.

Diego wonders what she sees when she looks at him, if she sees the little boy straining to make the world see him for who he really was, bullying and scraping and pleading to get his way, or if she sees a half-broken man who's spent his whole adulthood clinging to the lies of superheroes he was told as a child.

"The three of us should really go grab dinner sometime soon," she eventually says, and Diego grins.

[hestiviea]

someone needs to write this

This is my very first post, so I hope I do good! Please give me some feedback, I would love to hear it.

The Umbrella Academy Life Swap:

The Hargreaves switch lives instead of powers.

• Ben ran away at the age of 13 and got lost in the dimension inside his stomach, the Handler eventually finds him and recruits him to the Commission. He works as a super powered agent that saves his victims from his sadistic partners, Hazel and Cha-Cha. Ben doesn’t come back in a 13 year old body like Five, he’s the same age as his siblings, and Ben does know about the apocalypse and has the eye. And unlike Five, Ben actually tells his siblings about the apocalypse and how he was a super powered assassin that acted as the kidnapper and lookout. When the Hargreaves were 13, Ben had tried to talk to Five out of time traveling because logically, he may not know where he would end up, but Five wouldn’t listen to him and started arguing with him. The fighting got so loud that Vanya and Klaus eventually got pulled into the argument as well and it turned into a fistfight with all 4 of them. All of them ended up with scratches and bruises on their faces, a few chunks of their hair missing, and cleaning the mansion floors and ceilings from top to bottom and every single room without using their powers as a punishment for fighting by Reginald. At 2 am, Ben woke up after a nightmare and felt bad about getting Vanya and Klaus into trouble when they didn’t even started the fight in the first place and tried to go to their rooms to apologize, but he never did because the Horror became restless and angry that it didn’t get anything to eat and wanted to make Ben feel how trapped they felt when Reginald always had them kill people, so Ben’s tentacles grabbed him and opened the portal to their world, which was the apocalypse, and trapped him there for 10 years until the Handler came and recruited him and was never seen after that day again. Because of Ben’s disappearance, Vanya and Klaus blamed Five and his ambition for time travel since it was him who argued with Ben in the first place and Five had never forgotten it. Ben hopes that Klaus and Vanya would forgive Five in time. Ben read Klaus’s book about what happened to his family when he disappeared, he read about Luther running away to Dallas to forget about the Umbrella Academy, about Diego staying at the Academy to keep fighting crime, about Allison’s death and how she’s now mute, how Klaus is trying to get sober and stabling himself, how Five became a professor at a prestigious university and a vigilante, and how Vanya took a dark path into alcoholism.

• Five became a lowly-paid physics professor at community college after he was fired for punching a colleague at prestigious university and he’s also a vigilante, but his fiancé Delores doesn’t like it though. Five met Delores at a professor’s conference in Canada where she was presenting her findings on the science of gems and geodes since she’s a mineralogy professor (someone who teaches the study of rocks and crystals) and where he was discussing the possibility of time travel. Those two immediately hit it off and are now engaged, Five proposed to her by using different types of gems to spell it out. Five uses his powers of teleportation to be a mysterious assassin and hero.

• Klaus is a dancer at a local theater and he has somewhat control over his powers, but if the ghosts get too loud, he smokes cigarettes instead of weed so he wouldn’t be high at a recital. He became friends with Leonard Peabody aka Harold Jenkins when Klaus was 23 after his family abandoned him for writing an auto-biography about him having a power that traumatizes him and what the Umbrella Academy was really like behind the scenes, it’s called “The Ghosts Inside the Umbrella Academy: the life of Klaus Hargreaves”. Harold makes him more isolated by threatening to kill himself and haunting Klaus for the rest of his life if Klaus tries to leave him. Since Klaus never had someone ,besides Ben, care for him and give him a home and food since he was living at a homeless shelter when he met Leonard, Klaus thinks that this type of friendship is normal and doesn’t think twice about it. In his book, Klaus portrays his remaining siblings as people who knew about his drug abuse, but didn’t do anything about it; he portrayed Luther as a hotheaded daddy’s boy who was treated like the Golden child, Diego as a momma’s boy with daddy issues always trying to compete with Luther for everything, Allison as his favorite sister who was taken too soon, who’s death was the final straw that tore apart their family, and who acts as a silent ghost mother since she’s mute (no one believes him that he can see her though), he portrays Five as the cause of Ben’s disappearance and as a heartless gremlin who doesn’t care about his siblings enough to see that his siblings are hurting and have real problems of their own, he portrays Ben as his kind-hearted and favorite brother who was the glue that hold their family together and who’s disappearance drove a wedge between the family, and he portrays Vanya as his ordinary violin playing sister that desperately wanted to belong with their family in any way she could, but turned to alcohol when she learned that her dream of being in the Umbrella Academy was crushed by Reginald and who had the easy life of not being exploited by their father for her powers like he was. Vanya actually confronted him about her portrayal in the book and they said some things that they shouldn’t have, but they eventually forgave each other and Vanya moved in with him and Leonard a month later. Klaus didn’t mind that Vanya and Leonard were dating, but saw a striking difference between Vanya and Leonard’s relationship and Vanya and Sissy’s relationship when Vanya came back from the 60s. With Leonard, Vanya was walking on eggshells and isolated from her brothers and couldn’t be herself around him, but with Sissy, Klaus saw that Vanya was happier and could be herself around Sissy and loves Harlan like her own son. Klaus was the one to kill Leonard with his powers by having Allison choke him to death when he badly hurt Harlan with a gun and tried to drown Sissy.

• Allison dies at the age of 17 when her throat was slit by a serial killer on a mission and now acts like Klaus’s mother by always keeping him sober enough to conjure her and giving him healthy advice, but ultimately going along with almost every crazy idea Klaus has. Since she has a slit throat she can’t talk, but she does sign language instead and like Ben, she ages like Klaus, but still wears the same outfit she was buried in: a yellow and green striped dress with a blue flora printed jacket with red heels and a pair of black leggings. She HATES Leonard Peabody because he’s manipulating Klaus into isolation from their family and she tries to get Klaus out of their toxic friendship, but Klaus always denies Leonard’s abuse. She misses her siblings so much that she’s deeply hurt that she had ignored their problems for so long.

• Diego stayed at the Umbrella Academy because he didn’t know how to be anything else but a hero, he also didn’t want to Mom behind, so he began reading and writing code to free Grace from her restrictive rules that Reginald put on her, but after his accident that had him have scars all over his body and face to the point where he lost his left eye and his face is almost beyond recognition, Diego left the Academy when he realized that there was no point in staying and became a recluse in his good friend, Eudora’s house. Unlike Luther, Diego doesn’t have the monkey body because I just couldn’t see that type of body build on David Castaneda. Diego met Eudora at a local boxing gym, Eudora was impressed Diego’s fight skilled and was shocked to know that he was Diego “The Kraken” Hargreaves because Reginald told the whole world including their city and Luther, Klaus, Five, and Vanya that Diego died in an explosion a year ago when he had his accident. Diego ,of course, was pissed that his own father told everyone and his siblings that he was dead instead of saying that he survived the mission and was just scarred for the rest of his life, but he wasn’t surprised that Reginald did that to keep up his reputation. Him and Eudora immediately became fast friends and roommates at her house since Diego had nowhere to go when he left the Academy 6 months ago and was living at an run-down and moldy apartment. They actually tried dating at one point, but because of their conflicted personalities, they decided to just stay friends and roommates.

• 3 months after Allison’s funeral, Luther ran away to escape his father’s tight gripped and cold stare and the house that reminded him of his lovely yet dead Allison when he was 18 years old. He ended up in Dallas, Texas where he became a famous boxer named King Kong since he’s so huge and muscular, met and married a successful TV salesman named Elliott Gussman, and they adopted an African American baby girl who they named Claire Allison Gussman. Luther decided to take Elliott’s last name ,even though it was Luther who proposed to him, to cut his ties off from the Umbrella Academy and the man who turned 6 children into soldiers and who blamed the death of an innocent 17 year old girl that happened to be his adopted daughter on his 4 sons and 1 daughter instead of the person who killed her in the first place. Luther and Elliott had a happy marriage for 3 years until Klaus’s book came out that exposed the secrets of Luther’s past and made him into a hotheaded bully with daddy issues who followed Reginald around like a eager puppy trying to get a reward and a coward ran away from his problems instead of facing them. Elliott was furious at Luther because when Luther came to Dallas he lied about being from a mob family that did all types of shady businesses and that he ran away because his “family” couldn’t understand and accept him being bisexual instead of telling him truth about his abusive father who raised them to be child soldiers, how his brother Diego would always tried to be better than him to their father’s approval, how his brother Five was too smart for his own good, how he loved his sister Allison more than he should, how he tried to forget about Ben’s disappearance, how he ignored Klaus’s drug abuse, and how he denied Vanya’s problem with alcohol for so long. When Elliott read Klaus’s book about what Luther did and who he was, Elliott immediately started arguing with him about his true identity. Luther tried to deny it, but couldn’t because he loves Elliott too much to even hurt him in a way. Elliott actually threatened to separate from Luther when their arguments gotten too much, but he didn’t and instead drove Luther and him to see a marriage counselor so that they could actually talk to each other instead of just arguing. Luther and Elliott eventually made up, but because of the book, Luther is the one that’s more pissed about it and at Klaus for almost making Elliott lose his marriage to him. Btw, Claire is 6 years old in 2019 and was adopted as a baby in 2013 by the Gussman family when Luther was 24 and Elliott was 30, a year after Klaus’s book was published.

• Vanya was introduced to alcohol at 13 years old when Five and Klaus were drinking 2 cases of beer that Five stole, Klaus persuaded her to take a sip of his beer and she hasn’t stop drinking since. Besides the violin and her pills, alcohol was the thing that defined Vanya and her personality. Vanya thought that no one would care about what happened to her since she was so ordinary and isolated that she dumped all of her pills in the garbage disposal and drinks her problems away. With her new coping mechanism, Vanya’s personality changed from quiet and meek to sarcastic and drunk. Five and Vanya left the Academy for college together, but ended up separated by the time they were 20 because Vanya kept drinking her tutition away. By the age of 22, Vanya ended up being homeless because she got kicked out of her apartment for not paying her rent with the money she used to buy alcohol. She still plays her violin, but only for cash instead of at The Icarus Theatre. She also read Klaus’s book and was upset about her portrayal as his alcoholic sister who had an easy life of being ordinary and never going on missions because she doesn’t have a power that can’t be turned off willingly or that can kill somebody; she cried and drank her misery away for 3 weeks until she confronted Klaus about the book, they both admittedly said things that they regretted, but ended up apologizing to each other in the end. She also meets and dates Leonard like in the show and instead of Allison finding the truth about Leonard, it’s Five and Delores who both tried to convince Klaus and Vanya that Leonard is a snake, but they both denied it. Vanya ends up living with Klaus and Leonard when her and Klaus made up when she’s 23. In my first draft I made it Five and Delores that Vanya ended up rooming with, but I wanted to make Vanya and Klaus isolated further by Leonard manipulating both of them. When the house is attacked by Hazel and Cha-Cha, Vanya is the one that’s kidnapped and tortured by them for 2 days and is rescued by Eudora who arrives with back up this time, but is injured in the spine by Cha-Cha. Vanya takes the briefcase and time travels to October 12, 1963 where she ends up falling in love with a woman named Sissy Cooper, a widowed housewife who accidentally ran Vanya over with her car, and becoming a nanny/second mother to Sissy’s 5 year old autistic son named Harlan. Vanya stayed with them until 1966 when a neighbor reported their “unholy” relationship to the police, so to keep them safe Vanya used the briefcase to go back to 2019 with Sissy and Harlan.

—When Vanya gets back to 2019 with Sissy and Harlan, no one believes her story except for Klaus, who promises to her relationship with Sissy a secret from Leonard, and Ben, who was the only one that was worried about her whereabouts in the first place besides Klaus. Vanya tries to become sober for the sake of Harlan not being afraid of her when she gets drunk and for Sissy and her’s relationship since her late husband was an abusive alcoholic, instead of conjuring the one she loves’s ghost like Klaus did in the show. When Vanya was dating Leonard, he would constantly have her and Klaus practice their music and dance at 12am-6am to train them more and if one of them mess up, he’ll have them locked up in a dark and tiny closet with only one dimly lit lightbulb and they would have to balance on a stool on one leg for the duration of their training. Leonard would also take his anger out on Klaus and Vanya if he had a bad day at his shop, which would leave Klaus with bruises on his arms and a black eye and Vanya with scratches on her back and bruises on her neck. (Trigger Warning for those who can’t handle stories with domestic violence) When the 3 of them were 27, Leonard gotten pissed at how independent and successful Klaus and Vanya were getting in their lives by Klaus getting paid more from his dance recitals and Vanya going to AA meetings more to the point of being sober for 3 weeks that he took his frustrations about losing his control out on them by punching and slapping Klaus and choking and scratching Vanya, but thankfully a neighbor called the police after hearing their screams and Klaus and Vanya were taken to the hospital and Leonard was arrested, but unfortunately Klaus and Vanya bailed Leonard out due to dropping charges against him as an apologize.

Here are the things that I changed

• Klaus and Vanya both cause the apocalypse by combining their powers at Klaus’s dance recital with Vanya’s violin because Leonard isolated them from everyone, manipulated them to the point of denying the abuse he put them through, and because of him trying to kill Sissy and Harlan for taking Vanya away from him.

• Five and Delores tries to explain to Vanya and Klaus that Leonard only liked them to get revenge on the Umbrella Academy and it was him that kidnapped Sissy and Harlan to get them to come back to him, but Five gets stabbed in the stomach by Klaus’s new found telekinesis and Vanya makes Five and Delores’s apartment collapsed after knocking Delores out. When the apartment collapses, Allison , who’s coperal at the moment, immediately grabs both a bleeding Five and an unconscious Delores and saves them from death and takes them to the Academy to be treated by Grace. Delores unfortunately loses her right arm to a huge piece of shrapnel lodged into it that’s cutting the circulation.

• When Ben goes to the apocalypse for the first time, he finds Luther with the eye clutched in his hand, Diego wrapped in black bandages holding a woman with a long black ponytail (Eudora), Five in an Armani suit with his eyes opened, and a red headed woman in a polka dotted blouse and a black skirt holding one of Five’s hand (Delores). All of them are dead and Ben finds out that they’re his brothers by the faded black umbrella tattoo on Luther’s wrist when Ben was inspecting the bodies. The bodies that Ben couldn’t find were Allison, Vanya, and Klaus’s, but after learning about Allison’s death from Klaus’s book, Ben kept looking for Vanya and Klaus.

• Vanya gets her burst of powers when Harlan almost drown in the summer of ‘64 in the lake 10 miles away from the farm. Harlan was playing with a beach ball when it got away from him and he tried to get it while Vanya and Sissy were cuddling in the sand and a wave pulled him under the water. Sissy started crying and panicking when Vanya couldn’t get Harlan to the surface, but after a minute of silence she was shocked and relieved to see Vanya holding Harlan in her arms while she’s floating in the lake with glowing white eyes. As soon as they get to shore, Vanya gives Harlan cpr which transfers her newly found powers to him like in the canon.

• Diego doesn’t show himself to his siblings until episode 3 when Hazel and Cha-Cha attack the house because everyone thinks he’s dead and he’s a recluse. He finds out about the attack from Grace (mom) when she calls him from her bedroom phone since they talk every day so that he can know what’s going on and because of these calls, Diego knows about Ben being back, how the funeral went, and how much each of his siblings changed over the years.

• In episode 1, since the siblings’ lives are switched around, the way they found out that Reginald died is slightly different from canon. Luther finds out from the press badgering him after he won a fight, Diego finds out from Eudora when she comes home after work and turns on the Tv in a flash, Klaus finds out during rehearsal on the radio that him and his group are listening to to practice the recital while Allison is dancing in the shadows behind him when the news suddenly comes on, Five finds out from his phone on social media when one of his students sent him the news link after Five teleports to his apartment after saving a 12 year old boy from being abducted by a creep and almost killing said creep by beating him senseless, and Vanya finds out from a bar Tv when she and Leonard are on a date. She immediately calls Klaus who was immediately going to call her to tell her the same thing when he was done rehearsals.

• Just to clarify, since Vanya spent 3 years with Sissy and Harlan in Dallas from 1963-1966, she is 33 years old and Harlan is 8 years old because he was 5 when he and his mom met Vanya. Even though Vanya spent 3 years in the ‘60s, she was only gone for 2 days with Klaus, Five, Delores, Ben, and Leonard searching for her.

• When the Hargreeves all come back for the funeral, the introduction of them to each other are very different. Diego doesn’t show up to the funeral to keep up the reputation of him being dead. Vanya and Klaus show up together, but immediately split up when Vanya goes straight to the bar making drinks for her and her brothers (mostly for her though) and Klaus goes to his old room to reminisce about his past. Five checks their father’s room and office for evidence of something other than a heart attack, he is the one that thinks that Reginald was murdered by someone, and he also greets Vanya and Klaus with Delores who went with him to meet his family. Luther is trying to get through the funeral as possible by almost avoiding his siblings, but that backfires when Five calls a family meeting to talk about their father’s death and Luther sees a tipsy Vanya holding a mix of vodka and rum, Klaus talking to Delores who is laughing at a funny story Klaus is telling, and Five lecturing the remaining siblings on how their father might’ve been murdered.

• Eudora is more present in the show since she survives the gunshot wound in her spine by Cha-Cha, but she ends up being paralyzed from the waist down in a wheelchair. She helps Five with discovering how Reginald actually died and Diego with stepping out into the world and seeing his family for the first time in years. Like in canon, she is the first one to find Vanya at the motel after finding the message that Hazel and Cha-Cha left on the van when they burned down the prosthetic factory after they got drunk off of Vanya’s “special lemonade” which is just lemonade mixed with wine and vodka. Unlike in the show, Delores and Ben go with Eudora as back up in case something goes wrong and it does end up going wrong with Cha-Cha and Eudora having a shoot out with each other in the parking lot that ultimately ends up Eudora becoming paralyzed by Cha-Cha’s bullet ricocheting off a lamppost and lodging into Eudora’s spine with her laser gunand Ben wrestling with his former partner Hazel in the motel room while Vanya is escaping through the vent with the briefcase in her arms and Delores in tow.

Ben breaks Hazel’s wrist and almost beats him to a bloody pulp for kidnapping Vanya, but he stops when he hears Eudora’s screams from outside and sees her on the ground behind her car and he immediately drives her to the hospital while Hazel and Cha-Cha get away before the police show up. Delores and Vanya get on a nearby bus to escape the chaos and they talk about what’s going on in their lives and Delores talks about how Leonard treats Klaus when they’re alone, but Vanya denies any abuse and opens the briefcase. The last thing Vanya hears is Delores screaming.

• The episode “The Day that Wasn’t” doesn’t exist in my AU and is instead replaced with an episode called “Welcome to the 60’s” where Five interrogates Sissy and Harlan about the past while working on the beat up briefcase to learn more about how to time travel. Eudora and Diego talk about how their long time friendship has become into a sibling relationship and about how Diego can reconnect with his siblings again. Luther and Delores discuss how they both want a normal and ordinary life with their husband and fiancé respectively, but fail to see that things can never go back to way they were. Ben goes off on his own to find the truth about Leonard Peabody, but finds himself at Griddy’s where he sees Hazel kissing Agnes and talks to them about his problems. Agnes gives Ben advice about how he can reconcile with his family by actually giving them time to process him being a time traveling assassin and him telling Five to not feel guilty about causing a rift between him and Vanya and Klaus because it wasn’t Five’s fault that Ben “ran away”.

I’ll continue the rest of the story when I have the time. Right now I just want to post this.

[wyrd-syster]

Twenty questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @conundrumoftime!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 18!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I've never checked this before so it was fun to see: 272,376

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, my main fandom is The Rings of Power (Sauron x Galadriel) and my other fandom is The Umbrella Academy (Diego Hargreeves x Lila Pitts). I have also written one fic for The Wheel of Time (Lan Mandragoran x Nynaeve al'Meara)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

dig up the bones (but leave the soul alone), Rings of Power, my canon(ish) Haladriel WIP that explores what would've happened if Galadriel had said yes to Sauron's proposal.

lend me some sugar (I am your neighbor), Rings of Power, a complete, Haladriel modern!AU where Galadriel and Halbrand are neighbors with thin walls, and one of them is a bit more, *ehem*, vocal than the other.

oh, can’t you hear that scratching? (there’s something at the door), Rings of Power, a complete, Haladriel mob!AU. Galadriel — a widow who is, quite literally, haunted by the ghosts of those she's lost — inadvertently catches the eye of Halbrand, a mob boss from the wrong side of town.

oh sinnerman (where you gonna run to?), The Umbrella Academy, a complete post-s2 story where Lila encounters each of the Hargreeve siblings as she searches for a reason to stop running away from Diego.

take what the water gave me (oh my love, don't forsake me), Rings of Power, a post-ep6 (but pre-ep7) Haladriel one-shot where Halbrand and Galadriel come together in the wake of Orodruin's explosion to comfort each other.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I don't unless there's a specific need to. At first, it was because I didn't want to skew the number of comments I received. But now it's simply because 1) it's one more stressor related to writing, and 2) I am desperately bad at responding to compliments.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think most of the installments from my first series (which, honestly, should've been one full story) Two Worlds Collided (Umbrella Academy post-s1, pre-s2 Diego Hargreeves x Eudora Patch) because I kept breaking them up at the end of every installment. Also, probably be all my sins remembered, (Umbrella Academy, post-s2 one-shot, Diego Hargreeves x Lila Pitts) just given the story is about pregnancy loss.

Truly amazed that for a comedy show, I really have a pattern of putting Diego Hargreeves through it. Poor baby, as if he hasn't suffered enough!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm not really sure how to measure "happiest," which may be something I need to bring up with my therapist lol. It's probably between lend me some sugar (I am your neighbor), given it's a rom-com structure with rom-com ending, and oh sinnerman (where you gonna run to?), as it ends with all the siblings on the journey towards healing together and Lila finally decides to stay.  

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've received one anon hate message. it was unbearably fucking stupid.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but I don't know how to qualify smut! Lately, very smutty-smut haha. I've also noticed recently I tend to have the MMC engage in some form of dirty talk during it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not and I also don't read them. I have a hard time suspending my disbelief when two IPs collide.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I can't find the message about it now, but I was notified during my Umbrella Academy days that someone was lifting my dialogue for a TUA RPG site, which was wild to me.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I believe oh sinnerman (where you gonna run to?) was translated into Korean.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have not! Given the absolute unhinged nature of my creative process, I don't think that would go well for me (or anyone else!)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

God, honestly? Probably Captain Swan (Once Upon a Time, Killian Jones x Emma Swan). Just something about them having mirrored childhoods and traumas, how they're always coming back for each other when they think they've been abandoned, that they're each others homes!!! Also, god the fandom was churning out some of the most stellar fics when the show was on.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

dig up the bones (but leave the soul alone) is currently my only incomplete WIP and I am determined to finish it!! I am considering using NaNoWriMo to do so, but who knows.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten really good at world building, which I love. When I am writing a story, my mind always immediately jumps to the environment the characters are in -- not so much the physical setting, but a lot of the cultural elements: language and idioms, customs and food, holidays, and all the emotions these inspire. I think having a firm sense of the world helps me orient the characters, and I can find a lot of dimension in how they interact with these aspects of the world.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am way too fucking wordy. Dear god, why use one word to describe something when I could use five (and a Shakespeare reference)!? I think I have a tendency to get so lost in the sauce I can trip myself up on plot points and the characterization can veer towards inconsistent. I'm also stuck in this belief of "I never finish anything!" which is patently untrue. But it's difficult to overcome when writing multi-chapter fics. I try not to psych myself out and remind myself to take it one chapter at a time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's best used sparingly and with enough context to understand its meaning. I hate having to scroll to the bottom of a story to find out what's being said, especially when the dialogue is central to the story. It disrupts the flow.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

My very-very-very-FIRST fandom I wrote for in middle school was Avatar the Last Airbender (I have been a Mai x Zuko girl since...well not day 1, but definitely day 2. Don't come for me.) Back in those days, I primarily wrote for ATLA and Naruto.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh, can’t you hear that scratching? (there’s something at the door)  took me completely by surprise, to. be honest. It started with the idea of, "mob boss!Halbrand would be hot," and it spun totally out of control from there. I literally started writing it thinking it was going to a simple one-shot: "Grieving Gal goes to a club and has sex with Halbrand, and it is very hot." I don't remember why I made Galadriel a widow, only that I liked the idea of Halbrand sparking some life back into her. When I first sat down and put proverbial pen to paper, the ghosts weren't intended to be real, just a side-detail to illustrate Gal's grief. But the more I wrote, the more prominent Gal's grief became, and then, so did the ghosts.

What I am saying, is, I really surprised myself with this story and how it grew into something so big from an idea so small. When I re-read it today, the imagery and sense-feelings are still just as clear to me as when I wrote it. And I remain very proud.

Tagging: @formerlyir, @orcas86, @ophidion, @myrsinemezzo, @liminal-zone, @softlighter, @bad-surprise, @justatinycollector, @nocaptainonthisship, @hazelmaines and anyone else who wants to join in!

[randoms-fandoms]

TUA request info!

🕰️🕰️🕰️🕰️🕰️🕰️🕰️🕰️

Ships I’ll write for

❤️Diego x Eudora

❤️Viktor x Sissy

❤️Allison x Ray

Characters I’ll do “x reader”s for (can be romantic or otherwise)

💕Luther Hargreeves

💕Diego Hargreeves

💕Allison Hargreeves

💕Klaus Hargreeves

💕Ben Hargreeves

💕Viktor Hargreeves

💕Marcus Hargreeves

💕Ben Hargreeves (sparrow)

💕Christopher Hargreeves

💕Grace Hargreeves (specify robot or human)

💕Eudora Patch

💕Lila Pitts

💕Raymond Chestnut

Other thingsss

🚫I haven’t finished season three or seen season four, sorry!

[theerumor]

patch: *tazes diego*

diego: *heart eyes*

[fanficsandfluff]

Tickletober Day 16: Massage

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Eudora Patch

“I can’t believe I’m doing this for you.”

“Shut up, you’re next. It’s reciproca--reciproci--recip--”

“Reciprocated?” Patch tried and Diego reached back to poke her.

“Yeah, that. Smartass.”

“I haven’t heard you be this rude to me in a while. I’m getting kind of fed up with it, Hargreeves. After all I do for you--”

“Okay okay. No more talking.”

“Promise?”

Diego smirked where he was laying on the detective’s bed, sheets all a mess, shirtless. He raised his hands up and shoved them under the pillow his chin was resting on. Patch gave really good massages. While it was Diego’s idea, Patch only agreed when he said he’d return the favor. While she liked giving the vigilante a hard time, she knew he needed a massage probably more than anyone alive. Diego always had so much going on. 

She pushed the heels of her hands all the way from the base of Diego’s spine to just under his shoulder blades. He already hummed. 

Eudora felt scars here and there on Diego’s back as she traversed. She had plenty of her own from their shared line of work. It was always hard to wrap her head around, though. She was used to her own scars and she should’ve been used to Diego’s scars, especially since this guy was fighting crime since he was a kid. A literal kid. 

“Easy,” Diego exclaimed with a quick suction of breath and a jerk to his whole body. It drew Patch from her thoughts and she focused in on where her hands were and what they were doing. Her nails on the backs of Diego’s ribs were apparently a no-no. Did he break his ribs recently? She couldn’t remember. Wait a sec-- this was good.

Eudora smirked as she put the pieces together. But she went about business as usual as she returned to pressing her knuckles into knots in Diego’s back. 

“God!” Diego’s strangled exclamation got muffled into the pillow he pressed his face in, but he arched his back, “Eudora...”

“Hm?” she was good at this, “Tender spot?” she slid her knuckles across his back and landed at the backs of his ribs again, digging in there. 

“Noho, don’t! Patch, cohome on! I wouldn’t do this to you,” Diego fought with his words but not as much with his body. His arms were still up under the pillow, after all. Was he trying to keep whatever machismo he thought he still had? Funny. 

“You’re right. You wouldn’t. But that’s only because I’m not nearly as ticklish as you, hon,” she leaned in close to the back of Diego’s head, whispering right into his ear. She felt the goosebumps raise on his skin. And Eudora shoved her hands into Diego’s exposed armpits, scratching away at the skin there. Diego yelled and he tried rolling over now, arms slammed down to his sides. Oh god he trapped her there. Stupid!

“Eudohohora!” Diego laughed loudly, “Stohohop! Gehet out from there--AHHAHA!” he couldn’t believe she just gave him a raspberry in his neck. What was he, three?

“Get out from... Ahh gotcha!” Patch wormed her hands out from under his triceps and she immediately clawed at his belly instead. He had rolled over successfully, but now to his detriment. 

“PATCH!” Diego bellowed, trying so hard to sound angry, to sound utterly pissed... but it just wasn’t working. Every shred of intimidation he could have had was buried under his booming laughter. 

“Just trying to give you a thorough massage, babe,” when Patch was being extra snarky, she tended to throw in a lot of pet names. Diego kinda liked it, not gonna lie. 

Diego’s hands finally found Patch’s quickly moving wrists and he held on tight, forcing them away from his sensitive midriff. 

“Plehehease stop. I’m gonna piss,” Diego panted as he caught his breath. 

“Ew,” Eudora chuckled, making a face, “Way to ruin the mood.”

“Mood? What mood!? Whatever mood you’re thinking of was ruined the minute you started tickling m--mmph,” Diego’s rant was muffled by Patch’s lips connecting with his. He didn’t mind. This was a great turn of events, actually. Because now it was Eudora’s turn for a massage. 

[daddies-disappointment]

Request Rules

Since I've got a lot of requests I decided to delete my old requests post and make a new one. I have gotten a few requests and some unkind messages about my works so I decided to be much more specific. Feel free to DM me or send an ask with questions, comments, and concerns. Please be mature when interacting with my blog. Any rude/hateful comments will be deleted.

I write for the characters, not the actors. It makes me very uncomfortable writing about people.

I am 100% willing to add other characters if you'd like to see them, shoot me an ask or a DM.

I will write x reader and family relationships. I do not write incest or any romantic content for underage characters (Yes, that included Five.)

I will write about serious/dark topics. When I do write about said topics i will tag it appropriately.

I will write fluff, angst, whump, and tropes.

I will NOT write anything romantic for Five because he is in a child's body. I will NOT age him up either. I do not care if he is technically 58. He is in a 13 year old body and the actor is a child. I will not be convinced to write x readers for him, so do not try.  I do not want to argue about this again.

I will NOT write anything NSFW.

I will NOT write AU's

I will NOT write any incestuous relationships. That means no Allison/Luther, Klaus/Ben, Klaus/Diego. Diego/Lila is not incest. The Hargreeves ships are incest because they were adopted and raised as siblings. I can not be persuaded, so do not try. I do not want to argue about this again.

I will NOT do headcannons mainly because it's hard for me.

Characters I will write for

Diego

Allison

Klaus

Five (PLATONIC ONLY)

Ben

Vanya

Ships

Klaus/Dave

Diego/Lila

Diego/Eudora Patch

Allison/Raymond

Vanya/Sissy

Please try to be specific on the gender of the reader if that is what you are asking for.

Please try to be specific with your requests as well, if you can't that is totally okay. It's easier to write if i have a good idea of the fic i am writing.

[fuckreggiehargreeves]

dave and patch bonding over dating into the hargreeves families and how clueless (and cute) diego and klaus are!!

Dave, in the afterlife, seeing the disaster that is the Hargreeves Family: Wow Eudora we really doged a bullet with this one.

Eudora: We were shot to death, Dave.

[eggcompany]

Diego's a good Dog

Diego really just needs some time to be mama's good pup. Eudora indulges him. He's just such a good boy.

Or a fic where Diego get fucked and gets called a good boy for his mama Eudora.

“Um d-dora?” Diego said in a shy small voice. 

“What Diego? What do you want?” Eudora said snappily. This caused Diego to turn into himself. His shoulder slumped down and he looked at his shoes. He usually didn’t mind shouting but it always upset him when he was floating just on the edge of his headspace. 

Of course the detective noticed. 

“Oh sorry baby... I didn’t mean to snap at you. You feelin tender?” Eudora always asked Diego if he was almost in subspace in different ways. Feeling tender, soft, squishy, puffy, needy, etc. 

“Yeah... I am. I’m-m fee-feel-feelin a w-way” Diego said and picked at his hands.

He knew what he wanted but he couldn’t say it. He wanted to be stripped and washed and snuggled and touched all over and he wanted to have his chest petted and feel his master’s nails on his back. But all he could say was he was feeling a way. 

Eudora pulled him up into a good hug. She laid a gentle kiss on his forehead and then pulled back enough to give him a chaste kiss. 

“Diego, how about we have some playtime. Do you want that? You want mama?” Eudora said in her silly ‘good doggie’ voice as they called it. She looked into Diego’s warm brown eyes. She smiled as she watched him melt. His shoulders relaxed and his face melted as he nodded. He flicked his eyes up to meet his master’s for only a second before looking down again. 

Diego really needed puppy time. Puppies didn’t have to talk or worry about money or their families or-

“You’re thinking too loud, bub. How about we get you out of these icky people clothes and get you all washed up?” Eudora said and slid her hand down his arm to grasp his hand. She could tell he was already slipping into his dumb little headspace. 

Diego nodded again. Mama always knew what to do. She always knew what he wanted and needed and always gave it to him. 

She took his hand and led him to their bathroom. She stripped him quickly and efficiently. He was pliant under her hands. Moving when she needed to move him too. She stood and looked at him for a moment. 

“You’re such a pretty puppy. My handsome little man.” Eudora said and scratched behind Diego’s ears. His eyes crossed for a moment and his mouth dropped open a bit. His breath was punched out of him and he smiled, open mouthed. This always got him. Always made him melt down into a puddle. 

Then she told him to sit right where he was. “Sit”. Diego obediently dropped down to his knees onto the dark tile floor. It felt cold against his knees. The floor was always so cold in here. 

Eudora looked at him for a moment while she collected the special soap they used for these scenes. She pulled out a shampoo and a body wash and finally she laid out his special blue dog comb. She watched him fidget on his knees. She knew the tile was cold but he only got to sit on the floor during these scenes unless he was invited onto the bed or couch. She thought for a moment before she said- 

“Oh your butt puppy. Your knees don’t need to be achy.” She knew he wouldn’t like the cold tile on his cock and ass and especially not his balls but she didn’t want his knees to hurt… yet. 

This was how it started when she planned on really working him. He slipped onto his butt and sat criss cross. He gasped as his tender parts met the frigid flooring. He shivered slightly in the chill of his nudity. She was about to cup himself just for some relief from the stabby cold feeling but he heard the faucet start. He looked up and watched Eudora put a few drops of the shampoo into the water. 

Diego perks up; he loooooves bubble baths! Bubbles means mama gets in too! He watched and smiled and started to fidget around, completely forgetting the cold he was just feeling. He sat and stayed where he was put and smiled. He watched his mama roll up the sleeves of her button up shirt and grab a few towels and put them on the closed lip of the toilet. 

Soon the bath was full and Eudora knelt down on the side of the tub. Was she not going to get in..? Usually bath time was a shared time. Diego frowned. He liked getting to lay on mama as she washed him. 

“Come. In the tub now puppy.” Eudora said and Diego obediently crawled on his hands and knees over to the tub and climbed in. Eudora smiled lightly as Diego dunked his head under the water for a long moment. When Diego emerged and looked at her and whined she patted his thigh under the water. 

“No complaining. I don’t want to smell like wet dog. When you get dry you can… play by yourself while I shower. Be good and let’s get you clean.” Eudora said and Diego let her wash him. She first washed his hair then body. She spent a moment to slip her finger, just to the second knuckle, into his hole. Diego let out a squawk but bit his lip and blushed when she pulled it out and fondled his heavy balls. 

“Out. No shaking.” The dom said when she saw Diego turn his head to shake the water off. He ducked his head and let her rub an old fluffy towel over his head and the rest of him. She didn’t say anything when she opened the door. Diego jumped slightly when she slapped his ass as he walked through the door into their bedroom. 

Eudora kept the door cracked as she showered but she knew Diego was already entertaining himself. 

“Oh poor little puppy baby. Poor thing. You can’t take it can you? It’s just too big for your tight little hole? I know you want it in but it just doesn’t fit. Yet. Maybe with some more practice you can have the big one. You can have your favorite one now though so come on. Come ride mama.” Eudora said to the struggling puppy on the floor. She had walked into the room to see Diego breathing hard with teary eyes as he struggled to take in his big toy. Diego spent most of their scenes trying to get that toy inside. She had quickly thrown on a pair of plain black boyshort underwear and a black tank top. 

Diego whined loudly and reached down to feel how much he had left. He really thought he could take the big toy this time! He used lots of lube and stretched with four fingers and used the smaller one to stretch even more! Diego really really wanted it! Diego was practically in tears. He felt let down and disappointed. 

It was just so thick and so long. He could barely get the tip in when he first got it, now he could manage about four inches. That’s where he was now, four inches down, kneeling on the floor, trying to sit on it. He felt the large section that was slick outside his body and looked up at his mama. A tear slipped out the edge of his eye. He wanted it so bad but also he felt so overwhelmed.

Diego sniffled as he got pulled up onto the bed. He smiled a bit when he saw his thick leather collar sitting next to them on the bed. Eudora slipped the heavy weight around his neck, not too tight though because if it was tight it made Diego nervous. The collar was about the comfort of the weight and the heft of ownership. 

Eudora positioned him to straddle one of her thighs. He poked his bottom lip out and she kissed it and scratched behind his ears. He bent down to kiss her and he made happy little noises as she licked into his willing mouth. He closed his eyes and relaxed as she licked across his teeth and sucked on his tongue. He felt gummy and loose as she pulled away. He bent and let his head drop down onto her shoulder. He was so subdrunk on it all. The surrounded feeling, warm and loved. Eurdora ran her hands down his back to rest and knead at his ass. 

“Oh poor baby. Poor little di. Don’t worry we’ll try again later okay? You’ll be able to fit it eventually. For now look what I have for you.” The cop says softly and gestures down at her thigh where a small harness rests with Diego’s favorite little vibrator is positioned. Diego looked down and his cock jumped. 

Diego perked up and moved so he could reach back and slip the small toy into himself. He easily sat down onto it and smiled, it always fit into him so perfectly. Eudora smiled and rubbed her hands across his stomach, purposefully avoiding his heavy erection, he ran up until she could rub and tug at his nipples. 

Diego moaned and shoved down onto her thigh, silently begging for her to use her remote to turn the vibe on. Eudora hits his thigh and scolds him. 

“Patience! Do not be greedy. Slutty pup.” She said but turned the vibrator onto the third of six levels. Diego moaned loudly and started to pant. His tongue lolled out the side of this mouth and his eyes crossed. This was his favorite toy for a reason. It always sat so nicely against his ‘cute spot’. His cock was dripping with precum as he ground down and wiggled his hips around. 

“You’re so pretty. Such a good boy. My good boy. Take what you need baby. Take it. You look so pretty sitting on your toy like this. My perfect pretty boy.” Eudora praised him as she scratched down his chest until she ended up at his cock. Diego whined loudly and yelled out when she wrapped one hand around his erection and let her other hand rub and play with his balls. 

“Almost there. I know you’re so close, Diego. Come for me, baby. Come for mama.” Eudora said. Diego fell apart. He moaned loudly and screamed as Eudora worked him through it. She let go of his testicles and rubbed his tummy as gushes of cum flooded from the red tip of his cock. He panted and whined when she continued to rub him after he finished. 

Eudora turned the vibe off and helped Diego lift up off of it and lay down next to her. She put the sticky vibe on the bedside and put away the thigh harness. She brought him a bottle of water and changed her shirt. 

“Puppy, how do you feel?” She said as she lounged against the pillows next to the still trembling man, she ran her fingers through his short hair. Diego looked up at her with big glazed over eyes. 

“I-I love you” He said in a yell roughened voice. He looked so vulnerable. 

“I love you too baby. I love you so much. But how do you feel?” She said again and watched him take small sips of water. 

“Um… smushy.” He said and flicked his eyes away from his dom. She nodded. 

“That’s alright. You can feel smushy. Do you want something to eat? Want me to feed you something?” Eudora asked and rubbed at the space behind his ears. Diego sat up onto his butt and winced slightly. 

“C-can I-I have um… ce-cer-cereal. Please ma-mama” Diego said and looked up at her. 

Eudora nodded and ruffled his hair as she stood up. Cereal usually meant he wanted to be a puppy for a while longer. She would feed him and then he would go to the bathroom and take off his collar by himself. 

Eudora had to admit she felt a lot more relaxed now. 

[interrogatethekat]

Umbrella Academy Spin-Offs

I already said I want one with Klaus and Dave in Vietnam, but I want more because literally everything thing mentioned needs to have its own series.

Eudora and Diego in a procedural cop drama where Eudora is trying to do her fucking job and Diego keeps being his adorable vigilante self. Also must have flashbacks to their time in the police academy.

Time travel show with Five, Cha Cha and Hazel. Lemme see all the period clothing and interactions with famous historical figures.

A comedy that completely ignores all of the depressing shit about Klaus and Ben. Like Me and My Ghost Brother or something. Basically Klaus getting into wacky situations and Ben judging him. Must be filled with scenes of Klaus appearing to be talking to nothing.

Obviously a show about their childhood that will be so fucking depressing but I need that shit in my life, ok?

Luther going on space adventures.

A show about Allison’s career, and steadily watching everything fall apart.

A mocumentary about the umbrella academy and where are they now? Super dramatic. Preferably voiced by John Mulaney.

An animated kids show like what they did when Allison was telling a story to Claire.

A show that’s literally a “what if they were happy and Reginald wasn’t a shitty person?” AU.

Literally just make Netflix a service just for Umbrella Academy shows.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

i can’t stop thinking about the diego/patch and lucifer/chloe parallels......