#didnt fucking matter. st all

[reikunrei]

tell me why it seems like 90% of byler shippers are the most smug, insufferable people i’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing on my dash. like can y’all be normal people LMAO

i’ve been following a smattering of general st fandom accounts that also post a lot about them for less than a week and i’m already like “damn i gotta fuckin go”

you’re telling me i survived 2013-2015 superwholock and free! shipping wars and i’m just right back in it in the year of our lord 2023? get a life LOL

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

👁️👁️🔂👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

cringe at myself.....,.....

im aa FOOOOOLLLLLLLL 🫥

Sometimes i think, im a real artist or something..

But whats even real about me? everything i do only exists online

majority of it being on TUNBLR of all places.

fragile fucking tumblr.

my entire life is my imagination and fantasies my entire life is a thoughtform. how can i be a real artist if im barely even a real person in "reality".

not even banishedgirl but intangible girl.

The other day, when i posted about how i want to use the inter net less but im too lonely to stop, i feel it came back to bite me today, in a way i didnt want at all, for the short time my blog was gone, and this brought to my attention, how truly deeply foolish i am

i could disappear so fast like nothing because its all just 👉🧠💭 up here

Even tho my blog is back now. i cant get that feeling off of me. Like yeah there no reason my blog would actually be deleted, unless you know like, tumblr just got discontinued as a website. Which is not an unlikely scenario. i often wonder how long they'll keep paying for these servers. We saw what happened with myspace...

if tumblr was gone, id really be GONE gone

like. i dont exist.

sick to my stomach all day. even if i export my blog and put it on a hard drive ... does it even matter? it literally is not even "matter" it is pixels it is thin air.

How do i be a real girl in the real world

in utena , the "real world" is actually all an illusion. and i believe that to be true for our world too. In a way ive always believed my fantasies and spirits are more real than my body

But i still do want to exist here. i almost have to live in denial about this to stay sane. But i want to exist forever. i want a normal life and friends. i want normal things.. its disgusting.. i feel sick!!!!! im so happy but im so miserable. i love myself but im so insecure. i dont understand anything. i resent fakeness but im fake too. im all just words and space and airy air air

How do i change my life how do i stop yearning to Prove that i exist..... Why do i want to prove it so bad

WHY DID I HAVE TO BE CONFRONTED W THIS TODAY WHAT AM I BEING CALLED TO DO

Like dude i am already going thru it lately. i didnt need any more crisisfuel.

IDK i have to believe its some kind of catalyst to save myself , lest i succumb to the void

it has to show me something i needed to see.

Stuff like this makes me want to disappear in a way that i have total agency over. (Not like in a killing my self way but just in a going away way.) Thats not practical though is it i know thats my evil side talking.

trapped in a sticky web trapped in this glue trap thats what gets me all defiant.

the book im reading rn is from the 70s. i wish i was writing books not posts... i wish i was meeting people in real life the way the author describes in the book. I know the vainly imagined past doesnt hold all the answers either. Good chance i wouldve been institutionalized for woman hysteria or st. But i dont like whats happening here i dont feel natural at all. And its not just me who feels it, clearly.

if only i could be the one who finds comfort in impermenance.

do i accept what im dissatisfied with, do i try to change, or both, or neither?

i am sad

i am existentially disturbed

and i am fucking arrogant 🥴

for wanting to be real.

FUCK!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[dullanyan]

i watched all of higurashi gou and the end of sotsu. i will post my review

(HIGURASHI SPOILERS, NOT JUST FOR GOU/SOTSU BUT FOR THE VN AS WELL)

these are my thoughts after watching gou, just copy-pasted from discord.

i think the actual worst thing abt gou is the fact that its not unwatchable. it does have some interesting parts, and i am a huge sucker for the antics the main crew gets up to. but in general its disrespectful? like to satoko especially. i can believe that her and rika drift apart a bit at st lucia, but rika is too committed to making sure everything is good forever, i really doubt she would just like not talk to satoko sure i can see satoko being like no im fine i dont need any help but rika knows her. she would know thats a lie and they'd talk it out overall its very dedicated to making satoko be really dense.

and the same for sotsu

honestly, i think the loops/eua didnt need to happen at all. in fact, in my head, none of it was canon. even the ending felt pretty dumb of like "oooohhh, we're the only 2 looping entities, we gotta avoid each other foreverrrr" like man shut up. its trying to hard to be toxic yuri but it just sucks bc its 2 characters that shouldnt be going thru that. what i CAN believe is like. either satoko and rika going to st lucia, getting into a physical fight over it, coming to terms with the fact satoko doesnt like it and its hurting her so she transfers from there to the normal high school the others went to. OR them getting in a fight over it beforehand and agreeing to go their separate ways to 2 different schools. eua felt completely pointless honestly. the loops were so... nothing. also i feel a little weird abt the teppei redemption. not that he cant change and stuff but yknow............................ also they literally remembered satoshi so last second and threw him in there HNFDKHDFNK "oh im awake now!!! :D" its been 4 years man the fight scene where they go thru different loops was pretty cool i guess. kind of felt waaaay over the top though when they went super saiyan miko mode. its cool for what it is, but also, it feels so excessive based on everything else in higurashi. honestly gou/sotsu probably wouldnt be.......... horrible? if it were its own anime and the vns didnt exist. but they do and so these just kind of.... really tarnish them imo. which is why i dont consider that shit canon. also its just weirdly abusive to hanyuu for no reason. idk what thats all about. she literally only got to have 1 good moment the whole fucking series. wadda hell man. the only good things i think gou brings to the table is a peek into their futures a bit, like what happens after w their middle/high school lives. the rest of that stuff didnt need to happen though im thinking abt it all and how little the main cast really got to talk to satoko and rika thru all this shit. when it came to that plot, its like the rest of them didnt even matter. you're telling me rena wouldnt pick up on satokos feelings and talk to her abt it??? how they wouldnt like try to figure out whats going on at all? its stupid. it focuses way too much on rika and satoko, neglecting the importance of the others. ultimately, i know why this anime was made and what its purpose is. i know its to appeal to the much larger audience of higurashi fans anime onlys that were in it for the cute girls killing each other. it was trying to do stuff for the vn readers as well, but it just fell flat bc in the end none of that shit needed to happen. i know its stupid to criticize a story on what should or shouldnt have happened, but you know. knowing what i DO abt the characters and how the vn stresses the importance of talking to your friends to work out your problems... it just, sucks that they threw that all away in favor of a ton of gore. at the end of the day, im not like, mad or insulted this exists. its whatever. plus it puts some higurashi merch back on the market so not everything is ultra rare 20 year old figures for $700. it doesnt really exist for me, as a fan of the vns. i dont even think its horrible, it had some enjoyable parts to it. its just not good, is all. thanks for coming to my higurashi essay.

those are my discord ramblings. now i ramble here.

for sotsu, genuinely it felt like i didnt need to watch the first 11/12 episodes. yeah, it provided new perspectives and included how things got that way, but... i read the summaries of those episodes and got the gist of it all. if i had more respect for the plot they were going for, i might've watched em. but i dont like it! it was a really weird character assassination of satoko.

i can believe her behavior to some extent- not wanting to lose her best friend but not wanting to subject herself to constant misery in an academy she cant keep up with. again, i feel like eua didnt need to exist, and they couldve actually worked it out from there. especially if they let anyone else like... matter? let them talk and reason with their friends?

tl;dr if you like the vns, generally gou/sotsu isnt for you i'd say.

[bluejelly8]

so i am sobbing uncontrollably after finishing Midnight Mass and I'm really glad i didn't see it sooner. Its very good but i was not in the place to see it or process it then and im still not sure if i am now, but i am typing this in tears because god fucking dammit I have lived pieces of that show.

little pieces, tiny pieces, but those pieces changed and defined so much of my life and in many ways still do.

For starters, Riley and I share a name and an attitude with the church. I have had the same conversation he had with his father at the beginning of the show many, many, times. I have been made to sit through my own confirmation and see the entire congregation look over at me as i sat in the pew because my fucking name was still in the hand out listing the confirmation candidates. My best friend got confirmed to appease her parents, but i was stubborn and i wouldnt on principle. That doesnt really matter and i dont want to ramble, but needless to say, going into this show i knew it would be emotionally heavy for me for that reason.

I have met so many people like Bev in my life. I have sat in churches just like St. Patricks and I know that is the point but Flanagan makes it well. I watched Riley sit back for eucharist and i watched the camera zoom in on his face and the empty pews behind him. I know that feeling. I know that feeling of isolation and loneliness in a place where supposedly you are never alone. Because god is in all his churches.

And i was so scared watching this show that i would watch him find faith where i have failed to. I have been burned so, so, so many times by atheist characters converting and its a celebration and 'thank god they found god!' and the relief i felt as he burned away on that boat I cannot describe. I dont honestly think i can describe how this show has made me feel at all, but i am still crying.

Hearing Erin's speech at the end. Watching Hassan and Ali pray on the beach, one last time. Seeing everyone gather in the square to sing, one last time. To praise their god one last time, to pray for his mercy and forgiveness and to know that they would be granted it. To watch John and Mildred hold their baby. To see that bitch Bev try to dig a hole in the beach only to die screaming and in agony. She is the only one who screamed.

I dont really know where im going with this, sort of just train of consciousness-ing this i guess. But i think there was something really cathartic in this for me and nothing nothing has left me this shattered yet whole before.

im not one to usually post anything here and the first rb or message i get from someone saying 'not all christians' or 'jesus loves you' or fucking anything like that ill delete this post and block the fuck out of you. You can keep that shit to yourself. Yeah i didnt have to post this, but you dont have to say anything, either. And that seems hostile but i am sick and tired of being told shit i already know.

[falloutnewnobody]

help i have this reoccuring dream (like its happened 7 times over the past 3 weeks) where i'm on a plane to St. Petersburg (never been) for my grandpa's funeral and am seated next to a person i slowly come to realize is myself if i hadn't made some of the choices i really regret and they're like freaked out bc like i'm them if they had fucked up.

anyway so like different nights go differently from this point but the most chilling by far has been the most recent one.

in this one they (dream better me) starts yelling at me for all my faults and failures bc like if they did it i couldve too and then they transition into reassuring me that even though things are pretty bad, i'm still alive and trying to get better (which they go on to explain that in most timelines that's not the case).

then the plane starts going down and theyre like "well, i guess it didnt matter that i lived your life better than you because we're both equally helpless in this situation," and then the plane crashed and i woke up in a cold sweat.

i dont know what this says about me and im unsure if id like to.

[thornswoggled]

okay stream of consciousness thoughts about chapter 103 because that was. kind of a lot

we have to remind the reader that stella still exists

in fact lets remind them that chapter 97 happened at all

some confirmation that the new mage has a similarly aloof and misanthropic world view as other mages we already know. it doesnt matter if humans get eaten because its all toward a desirable end. reminds me very much of kyokos "the familiars eat the weak humans and turn into witches, then we eat those witches" speech. this coldness makes me think chise might be in a spot of trouble if they really earnestly try to recruit her again, or that elias may be able to have some self-satisfaction from knowing all along that their intentions are not pure

who is the "he" the apprentice wants to meet. the dragon???

this is the horniest title page weve gotten in like, a while

"dear chise. we will be running tests on you. <3" can one of them be an autism eval

okay so zoey was feeling bad because he was going birdmode. i guess when titania did whatever she did to him in chapter 99 it jumpstarted a sort of evolutionary process. strikes me as the sort of thing a creature like her would do. i imagine this will cause maximum ride-esque problems for him in public. he will have to wear a trench coat. you look like youre about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow. etc.

"atavism, atavism" ... the last time we heard that mentioned was from yori in 98. maybe warming us up for whatever this is? i have to wonder what the point of this small wing growth plot is. a result of heightened chaotic magic in the country?

this chapter takes place on my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seems fitting too, this chapter feels like "things are about to change, right fucking now," so having this all happen on the last day of the year feels right

a new scene!! pretty cool, and an allusion that the business with jasper is over and settled. it didnt occur to me until now that hes gone without any mention. gone as quickly as he showed up. SAD! well theres other guys

i dont think ill ever understand why chise is able to turn into a dragon unless its spelled out to me like im five. especially since the type of dragon that cursed her isnt even the same kind

"causes and factors attract and amplify each other" = "the shape goes into a shape press that presses the shape into a pressed shape"

elias is capable of bridal-carrying someone who isnt chise but hes tangentially linked to chise so it doesnt really count

a precious few pages dedicated to the fact that joseph may have at one point known how or why elias was "made." the type of creature he is is a "shadowborn," but this feels like a new translation of something that used to be called something different. elias notes that fae call him "shadowborn" as well. is this a reinterpretation of "half-made" or similar phrases?

also, i like elias' insistence that joseph cough up any information he has. yes, elias, id like to know too, keep shaking that boy

joseph bluntly demanding that chise carry him and her just being like. okay. your honor i love them they are total freaks of nature

confirmation that when chise said "priors...?" it means that she never found out that elias used to throw away her college recruitment letters. that was pretty damn funny

so theres a chance this "beyond the great wall" line did not mean what i thought it meant and now the egg is probably on my face. yamazaki listen to me very closely. what did you mean by that. besides yet another "well well well chise it looks like youre going to finally be cured of your lucky girl syndrome and bad shit will actually start happening to you for real now" line because we have GOTTEN that already

im gonna level with you i dont know who hilda is. are we supposed to know who hilda is? is she the st georges mom? she might be. she probably is. okay i just looked it up and she is

and shes flying to iceland! presumably to consult with lindel about all this dragon business. i wonder if this will be the event that prompts him to appear in london where he has that tense standoff with chise and elias

i have no idea what the bottom half of the last page is trying to communicate, who is speaking, etc

so yeah this all very much feels like a "things are ramping up and heres where all the respective parties we care about are right now" chapter. a lot to chew on

[emo-is-sexy]

i wish that i wasnt a girl and was sometjing else sometimes because as i have gotten older the constnant reminders and knowledge that there are people who see me as automatically less deservinf of rights and human just becauseni have a fucking vagina and uterus and ugly fjvking tits has eaten me alive from the insdoe it hruts so badly like the constna t thought that a s i go about my day in public there are people around me who see me as less than human and as just my genitals has destroted me i fucking jate it hi hate uit so much ot makes me feel so horrible and ,akes me contemplate suicid e because i will never be seen as equal especially becajse o am not really attratctyed to men and i am not attarcted to masculinity at all and i dont conform to stereotypical beauty standards for women my age so i a, , m basically seen as useless and expendable it hirts so bad i constantlty think about it it makes mr want to just stay in my room and never leabe i wisj i wasn not a woman and it is just adeed onto by the fact that i ajm on the spectrim and a,m profoundlt mentally unwell i ahte it i am seen by evryuone around me as inhuman and intentiojslly ignored it hurts so bad knowing that everyone who irl has been a formwr classmate of mine or people who habe been friends or known me at certain times see me as stupid and embarassing and my 4existence as cringeworthy has destroyef me i cnt stop thinking about it i fukving hate having to be alivr and be percieved ad the way that it will never end no matter how hard i try to be normal and shrink away from everybidy i cant cha mge the perceptiomns of eho i am to them. what is the point of living anf going on with life if you conciously know tjat everyone around you degrades ypu in their mind like tis so muych more than just being a woman its that i am an autistivc woman with speech impediments and tongue thrust which has permanentlym warped my facial structure and way i speak and breathe and to some thst seems like an unneeded detaiul but i feel like its nneed ed because i am not just a shy awkward girl but insteaf a girl whos very existence is seen as embarassing bhy many. people are very cruel when you are diffrernt in any way but especially when just by appearance and how you carry yourself they see you as inhuman or frankly rheu assume you are too stupid or socially unaware to undrrstand how your very existence is a joke to them and that they are constantlt making fun of you. the sad part i st hat i didnt understamnd. i never understood. because i WAS unaware. that alwaysnhurt the most. because they werent even wrong. makes me just want to dissapear and go missing and never come back

[theuniverseawakens347]

Trying to make it seem like Howard was responsible for gilbreana death .. I literally get off on her picture being hung up in the house and sent pornography to the White House off his computer from the robbery may 21 to not be caught for UR WHOLE WILLING PART IN HER MURDER.

And ur switched ur computer w Howard’s computer ..

Then wiped his and took it for ur own .. WHILE U WENT TO THE CABIN THATS WILD LEE

Meh came back to HIS LAPTOP MISSING OFF HIS DESK … but REALLY ITS UR LAPTOP THE FUCKING APPLE ID DOESNT EVEN MATCH HIS RECEIPT FOR THE COMPUTER YAL BOUGHT ME ..AND MINE WASNT WVEN IN THE HOUSE AT THE TIME I WAS AT AVA AND MINE GOT NIGGAS IS GODS ( incriminating) WEED STICKERS ALL OVER IT LEE

And I replaced my COVER ABD ATILL GOT WEED STICKERS ON MINE ..

U GIYS GOT THE SMOOTH GREY ONES BUT LIKE AGAIN .. APPLE ID LEE .. u really don’t know how to work a computer or

U paid Alissa AND FRIENDS OF IAN TO LITERALLY “HACK IT” WILLINGLY GAVE PASSWORD AND SEND NUDES FROM HOWARDS EMAIL ..

HE SIGNED IN ONCE AND LEFT IT OPEN ..

BITXH U SENT THE NUDES UR SELF THEN HAD MOFO STEAL THE COMPUTER TO “HIDE THE EVIDENCE “ and then tell Ian to take Howard’s safe of guns and go committ a murder which h4_eazy “did” and GOT CAUGHT W REGISTERED GUNS N HOWARDS NAME N CHRIS TRIED TO SAY HOWARD KILLED ALEXIS … CAUSE THAT CASE WAS BEING REOPENED

All this was being reopened ON MY FAMILY CAUSE IT LITERALLY GOES RIGHT BACK TO U ALISSA SAYING SHE DIDNT KNOW ..BITCH I SEEN LEXI FACE WE LOOK LIKE TWINS YEAH IT WAS BEFORE WE MET AND CHRIS U BEEN FUCKIN KNEW MY NIGGA WE WENT TO 54 th together no wonder Myron played stupid when Lauryn Reese brought me around

ALL. YALL NIGGAS BEEN AFTER ME N MY FAMILY ON BEHALF OF LEE ARLVICTORIALONGTON FAMILY SINCE THE BEGINNING TIME LEE ANTI MASONS VS MANSON ( MY FAMILY IN THE-SKY )

GIRL BYE LIKE BE SO FUCKING FR. EVERY FRIEND IVE HAD AROUND ME KNEW U ONE WAY OR ANOTHER AND WAS PAID OFF OR THREATEN TO HIDE MY TRUTH U BEEEEEN ALWAYS KNEW WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP W ME OR ELSE U WEIRDO BITCHES WOULDNT HAVE WORKED SO HARD. NO MATTER HOW I SAY IT YAL BIGGAS KNOW IT ALWAYS TURNS ME U OBVIOUS THE FUCK LY KNOWING IM GOD AND UR SATAN AS FUCK.

Chris UR A DICK HEAD WILLINGLY KILLING ALEXIS AND PASSING CHILD PORN TO PUT ON HOWARD NUGENT CAUSE LEE SAID YAL WOULD GET OUT DUE TO LEGAL BACKING .. what bitch, KILLING ME!?

HOW U GON KILL ME WHEN U KNOW IM ETERNAL AND U SHOWED ME LAW ABIDING CITIZEN MY TRUTH.

But you REAL LIFE DIDNT WANT DIE ALONE. SO UR HOLDING HOWARD HOSTAGE WHO UNALSO KNW IS ONE OF MINE .. AND THEN ROOED THE KIDS INTO IT INCASE HE LEAVES U

He real life like bomb protection squad rn and I’m real life hostage til I SAID ALL THIS CAUSE U TOOK BITCH MADE TO SPEAK UP DAWG HOE. THATS SAD. ALL THAT CRIME BUT U CANT PUT YO FUCKING CHEST OUT AND TAKE THE TIME .. THEN WHY FUCKING DO IT ..

Trying to claim insanity card THATS WHY U HAD THE KIDS DO ALL THIS CAUSE UR REAL LIFE EMBARRASSED THAT THUS IS LEGIT U AS A PERSON NATURALLY AS I STARED ON THE BLOG AND AT 11 when I said I hated u for some fucking reason .. BITCH I MEAN 🤯 WHAT LEE U COULDNT SAY “CASH UR GAWD IM THE DEVIL”

UR AFRAID OF DEATH BUT URSELF IN A FEDERAL FUCKING CASE AND ROPED IDIOT KIDS INTO SO U COULD FEEL SMARTER THAN SOMEONE .. Therese turned .. FAMILY PAID OFF BY HOWARD TO MAKE RIGHT TURN THEMSELVES IN ADMIT TO ME AND THEN I PAY THEM OFF TO NOT DONIT .. NATIONAL TERRORIST DID THE SAME TO FRIENDS BUT U WANA OPEN AN HARASSMENT CASE ON ME .. MY NIGGA U CANT BE FOR REAL ..HAVE U BEEN MEDICATED THIS WHOLE TIKE FOR A MENTAL ILLNESS AND AINT TELL NO ONE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN STOP TAKING MEDS CAUSE I SAID WHATEVER U GAVE ME AT THE PSYCHWARD GOES RIGHT BACK TO U???

Girl .. BUT IM MENTALLY UNstaBLE?

EVEN WHEN KNOWING THE SHIT WAS AWFUL FOR ME I STILL TOOK IT ALL OF IT WVEN AT ST FRANCIS.

My nigga take it to the chin WTF U DO THIS FOR.

U put me in psych wards cause that was a projection of ur own truth like trying to sell a fucking pound of OH SO CLEARLY SHIT WEED.

My nigga I really been living 21 YEARS W A PSYCHO WHO PUT ME IN HER CARE AFTER EVERY FUCKING THING IVE GONE THRU BEFORE THE “adoption”

LIKE THIS REAL LIFE CANT BE FUCKING FOR REAL .. YAL SAID “oh I go on psych meds ( AT DUMB ASS FUCK NICKI) and we’ll give cashay to you” AFTER SHE MURDERED MY LITTLE SIATWR COUSIN GILBREANA

And then before my 16th and Lexi 15th she planned to have Tyler Ian Alissa WILLING SICK BITCH and CHRIS WILLING BUT GON LIE INWAS IN A ROUGH PLACE W ALEX MADE ME DO IT TRYING TO PROVE MYSELF U STILL HAD A CHOICE. U CHOSE STREET LIFE MY NIGGA TF U JOIN THE GANG IF U CANT HANG PUNK BITCH ..like DAQUAN TRYSHA WILLING FOR SOME ALIEN BLOOD OR MY FUCKING MONEY.. THAT BITCH PUT A BOUNTTY ON MY HEAD. NICKI AND U WILLINGLY TURNED ME OVER TO HER

Askari TELEPATHIC BITCH U BEEN LYING TO HIM FOR A MINUTE THAT NIGGA BEEEEEEN STEPPING IN BEHIND THE SCENES ON THE BACK END .. UR WORK FALLING THRU CAUSE THAT NIGGA LOOOKING OUT FOR ME HOWARD TOO

..

But you REALLY LET IT get to some crazy ass level of extortion Lee .. KILL ME N U WIN THE GAME OF LIFE AND GET ETERNITY INTO THE NEXT LEVEL ..yal niggas that stupid??? THATS WILD

So basically 1. U KNEW

2. I TRIED TO ASSASSINATE GOD ..I thought you satanic fucks READ THE BIBLE??

DONT U KNOW SATAN “TAKING OVER” WAS A TRICK TO PROVE U ARE LITTERALY FUCKING VILE DIGUSTING BEINGS.

I really think u gon out rank THE CREATOR OF ALL OF SPACE.

I’m 4 quadrillion years old and literal fucking projecting of the universe IN HUMAN FORM.

A Simulation. I DIE WE ALL DIE. AGAIN WORLD WIDE GENOCIDE LEE.

Start the “game of life” ALL OVER .. I CHOOSE WHEN WE COME BACK AND GUESS WHAT 5 major resets U THOUGHT I WAS DUMB ENOUGH EVEN MEDICATED AS FUCK THE WAY U DID ME I WAS JUST GOING TO HAVE IT BE LIKE ALL THE ORHER TIKES??

U KNOW HOW LONG U ALONE BEEN DOING THIS DUMB SHIT IN A DIFFERENT BODY SUIT CHARLES LITERALLY FUCKING MANSON.

Nicki .. Marlyn Manson. Like wtf yal.

WHY WOULD I REPEAT THE SAME THING AND EXPECT A NEW OUTCOME..UR INSANE NOT ME ALSO GOD OVERSEES ALL BEFORE IT HAPPENS ONLY ME AND RIGHTFUL FAMILY CAN SEE THE FUTURE ..but it’s like at what point do YOU STOP AND MAKE BETTER FUCKING CHOICES.

Yal CLEARLY ARE REAL LIFE ILL INTENT PEOPLE. MALCOM INCLUDED. TRYING TO PUT IT ON ASKARI. .. nigga no.

Generational curses in a weird fucking way.

THIS IS WILD LEE AND NICKI RING LEADERS TO THE ANTI MASONS KILLING AND LIVING OFF MY FAMILY.

HOWARD AND ASKARI THE OTHER SIDE FIGHTING PROTECTING AND LOOKING OUT.

Lee u BEEEN GOT NEWS OF THIS BEING FEDERAL AND AINT TOLD NO ONE. HOWARD AND ASKARI WENT BEHIND UR BACK AND MADE RIFHT TO THISE INNOCENT AND ROPED INTO UR MIS GUIDEDNESS LIKE THERESE W RIVER / Patrick ( sorry) and JEAN w Bonnie/ forest .. U MANAGE TO TRY N PUT THAT ON ME CAUSE U STRUGFLE W GENDER AND EQUALITY AND U HATE GAYS U HATE ANYTHING THAT ISNT WHITE OR SLAVERY.

Literally what I put on the blog about in 2020 was VERY REAL AND MY BRAIN REAWAKENING OUT SHADOW MODE AND I TOLD U IN A 10 PAGE LETTER I FOUND MY FOREVER PERSON TRISTAN ❤️❤️ and U DECIDED NAW KILL THE WHOLE WORLD.

I made myself, bae and A WHOLE LOT MORE OF ME .. like be so fucking fr.. u clearly DONT believe in God and NEVER read the Bible to think U COULD KILL ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT LIKE NO ONE WAS GUNA SERVE JUSTICE??

🤯🤯🤯

Clearly I’m still under medicine cause .. the punkd kids gotta come out w cameras this really can’t be what u thought

AND U IDIOT CHILDREN CHRIS FELL FOR IT DEEPLY. HAD U KNOW IT WAS MY FAMILY U WOULDNT HAVE .. NIGGA WE WENT TO ELEMENTARY TOGETHER U SEEN MY FACE I GOT A VERY PROMINATE NAME U USE IT EVERYDAY FUCKING CASH BITCH.

This can’t be real life rn .. THIS FR YALL? THATS wild A NIGGA IS REAL LIFE CRAZY .. going to the psychward in 23 and Howard being there u was talking to him that u real life need help.. I seen inside I’m not admitting thru me that “I’m sick” being u.. I will say I AM SICK N TIRED OF UR FUCKING INSANITY .. U DO NEED HELL IF THIS IS FR .. but like u speak to me n projection about ur life .. that’s not working for me Lee .. I see inside u ur guilty and need help but lady u did the 5,8, and 9th step … 38 years right? FUCKING SHOW IT.

[post-modern-prometheus]

thanks for posting about dark bc i started watching it and im going rabid about all the insane theories and mysteries that keep coming up--you are so right this is what st should have been if it hadnt decided to go more mainstream for its popularity

RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT it’s actually so weird and daring and interesting in it’s lore. i literwlly have been binging bc i NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING. it’s like literallt what i wanted st to be, and what i hope it couldve been if they didnt have to make it so mainstream to keep ppl from hating it?? like ig i cant say for certain but i do believe st couldve been as cool and weird if they could still take chances. like now i feel like they (mostly netflix prolly) is scared what ppl might think if it’s too weird and confusing. im hoping that bc it’s the last season the duffers will say fuck it and just go all out and netflix will allow it bc ppl are gonna watch this season no matter what. theres no next season for them to not tune into. like i want an ending that blows my mind, makes me rethink everything i’ve seen. henry was. not it. the 33 years thing?? jonas’ dad?? im only 7 episodes into THE FIRST OF THREE SEASONS and dark is already blowing my mind. this is what i WANTED from stranger things. and i’ve heard the end is devastating… which im also hoping st is. like i love to feel. bc an ending that is bittersweet is the kind that sticks with you forever. but yeah ive been putting off watching dark for so long just cuz it’s hard for me to watch new tv shows and im so mad at myself bc I COULD ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IF I DID. IM ALSO SO HAPPY SOMEONE APPRECIATES MY DARK POSTING. i def will avoid posting spoilers and i’ll tag them as “dark spoilers” if i just can’t hold it in bc i want as many ppl to watch it!! i know most of my followers (esp if theyre also of the belief that stranger things could be a lot STRANGER) would love this and should go in blind the way i did bc it’s amazing. im doing everything in my power to not watch tiktoks ab it or look it up on tumblr.

[mpathicoracle]

ooookayyyy time to copy/paste my VERY lengthy rant about my TOH Bard oc, Eira Bane. originally sent it to my friend on discord, at the time i didnt realize it was so lengthy oops but hey yknow what. get used to it, yall get to deal with my bs no matter what LOL

first of all, lemme introduce: Harbinger Inferno, and its band members.

Eira Bane (they/them), creator, lead singer and guitarist. Hexside graduate. looks super threatening and intimidating, but they're such a sassy lil shit and is truthfully a massive dweeb.

Eran Thorne (he/him), secondary vocals and guitarist. St. Epiderm's graduate. he and Eira get along very well, are close like siblings but tease the media because celebrity drama likes to make it seem like they're dating. they both find it hilarious and joke about it constantly.

Dartak Heathers, bass guitarist. St. Epiderm's graduate. has a special Bard talent of being able to hear "melodies" for everyone, sorta a synesthesia type gift. he's also a mega dork

Belak Strande, drums. Hexside graduate. he...doesn't talk much, but he's super chill. an amazing cook tho, he enjoys cooking for the other three.

okay now youve met them, time to rant. fuck this is gonna be lengthy i apologize long in advance. n o t mwahaha

Eira's family name is Harbane. They're a very long line of witches, of a lot of different specialities. Primarily, a lot of Harbanes end up having stronger Oracle magic. Eira has an older brother (5 years older and a captain in the Emperor's Coven) and a younger sister (about 10 yrs younger). Eiras father is an Abomination witch, their mother an Oracle, both part of their respective covens. Both of their grandparents, the heads of their family, I haven't exactly decided what magic is their speciality, but they're powerful. Lastly is their great-grandfather, who passed away at 98 when Eira was barely 16; he had dementia, was practically deaf, and partially blind.

The Harbane family line have a very specific magical talent that they're most known for. One ancestor named it the Death Shout, another the Banshee Shriek. Its unknown how the Harbane ancestry got the gift, it's theorized amongst the family members that the Titan gifted it to them, but no one knows for sure. Throughout the generations of Harbanes, each "user" of the Scream, as its simply titled, used it various different ways. The ancestor who had it last called it the Death Shout, due to him having been able to raise the dead with it. That was nearly 800 yrs before Eira was born. The family line never understood why no one had so-called "received" the Scream since then. When Eira was born tho, her cries could crack glass, and their family realized they had the Scream. Their great-grandfather properly named them Eralynne, having once told them their name meant "the one who sings." Which is incredibly ironic. Eira's strongest magic is actually Construction magic, and as they grew older and practiced their Scream, they realized that, depending on the pitch/depth, they could either raise ground with the Scream, or absolutely decimate it. They also learned the hard way not to use the Scream indoors and almost damaged their eardrums once. Woops.

The final thing the Harbane family are known for is the ancient Harbinger Raven Palisman that has been passed down for generations upon generations. A Harbinger Raven is the symbol of their family, and its how they got their name. There's another theory amongst the family that Corva was probably one of the first Palisman ever made. But, again, no one knows for sure. and Corva sure as hell refuses to confirm nor deny it. She's a stubborn thing, but incredibly wise and, honestly, a bit of a smartass.

Harbinger Ravens are, as I decided, an extinct type of raven. One myth is that they were the first ones with Oracle magic, and taught it to the first witches. They were much larger than the average raven, and their key distinction is their oily-black feathers and their piercing, vibrant purple eyes (sclera and all).

Corva looks precisely like that, aside from the fact that she's not that big. Probably the size of a human realm crow, really. still a decent size. Corva, as stated, as been passed down through the Harbane ancestry, choosing on her own whether to take the next owner or not. When Eira was 11, it was meant to be her older brother's turn, his ceremonious ritual amongst the family to see if Corva would choose him. Instead, she eyed Eira almost instantly and flew to her instead. She didn't even give Eira's brother a single glance, not even a side eye. Just flew to Eira, who caught her easily, and cradled herself in the kid's arms. Eira's great-grandfather was the only one amused by it.

Now... there's a reason Eira doesn't go by the family name anymore, instead shortening it (out of spite) to just Bane. this part. is gonna take a while djfjg might switch to my laptop instead o o f

When Eira was maybe 10 or 11, their great-grandfather took them to the market with him, wanting to get them out of the house for a bit. I haven't really decided how they found it, hell it coulda been at Eda's "human collectibles" stand, but either way they found a music cd with a variation of different metal bands from the human realm. They begged their great-grandfather to get it for them, already having a love for music at that age, and he of course agreed and got it for them. When Eira got home and listened to it for the first time, they fell in love. Deep, raw emotion compiled into people screaming into microphones with heavy drums and epic guitars? Absolutely-freaking-yes. The next time they went to the market, they bought their first lute.

Eira's parents and grandparents weren't as understanding as their great-grandfather. They thought Bard magic was pointless, and a waste of talent. They weren't fans of music, not really. So Eira tried their hardest to hide their first lute from them. Sadly their older brother found out, and snitched to their mother... who broke the lute in front of the entire family, with Eira of course present. Eira soon bought another lute, still practicing in secret, and the next time their family found out, they yelled at them that they wanted to be a Bard, that they wanted to make music and that they could learn to incorporate the family Scream into it. They were laughed at and, once again, their lute was broken. It was around this time their great-grandfather slowly began to lose it, dementia setting in. He understood his great-grandchild more than anything, but because he was no longer head of house at this point he couldn't make any decisions about it.

Eira's parents forced them into the Construction track at Hexside after, but that didn't stop Eira from sneaking into the Bard track homeroom and continuing to practice in secret.... the Bard track teachers knew, but they knew enough about Eira's family to not mention it to anyone.

Eira made the decision, at that point, that they didn't give a shit what anyone else wanted them to be. Nothing was going to stop them from being what they wanted to be. No one but them could tell Eira what to do. It was precisely that, that Corva chose them over their brother. Not quite stubbornness, but free-will and a desire to be more than what Corva had experienced with her past owners. Fighters, warriors, generals. All strong-willed, sure, but it was the same old thing time and time again. Corva wanted to feel the true Freedom of such a strong-willed witch such as Eira, and that's exactly what she saw in them.

Like I said, Eira's great-grandfather was the only one who was amused when Corva chose them at age 11, only a year after first discovering metal music. Their grandparents and parents were infuriated, their brother mad and hateful at them after that (he instead got a newer palisman carved, also a raven, but a regular one). Eira's father actually attempted to keep Corva from his kid, locking the palisman up for two straight days...until he got too close and Corva bit his hand, immediately flying back to the grieving kid (they thought they wouldn't see Corva ever again). Their parents didn't attempt that again, but it still made Eira's home life absolute hell. They stopped being close with the rest of their family at this point, keeping on the track of keeping things from them. They didn't leave their room much and lied a lot, saying they "took up an extracurricular with the Illusion track, which is why they were at school so long." Their parents and grandparents didn't question it.

When Eira was 13, roughly at the end of their 8th grade year, they and the other students in their grade at Hexside were given the option to switch tracks, and to start making plans for what coven they wanted to join when they graduated high school. Essentially, the conversation with their family went like this:

(Grandparents:) "You are going to continue the Construction track, or you're out of this family. Decide to join whatever coven you want, but if you even dare think about joining the Bards, you will not be a part of this family."

(Parents:) "Be like your brother. He's going to join the Emperor's Coven. They'll let you do whatever magic you want, our family Scream will be a blessing for the Emperor."

Eira, spiteful as they were, went to Principal Bump the next day and told him that they wanted to switch to the Bard track. They explained what their family will do, but that they didn't care. "They can do whatever the heck they want, but I refuse to let them make my life decisions for me. It's my Scream, it's my choice. And music is what I want," they had said. Something they always lived by. Bump understood, he knew, after knowing Eda Clawthorne, that kids these days were incredibly stubborn but formidable. So he agreed, and switched them to the Bard track. Eira kept it hidden from their brother on their trip home, but as soon as they got home they showed off the Bard track colors, a giant "fuck you" to their family. They were given one full day to pack their things and leave, and they did. It hurt, because they knew they wouldn't be able to see their great-grandfather ever again, but it meant they could do what they wanted.

Eira was, quite frankly, homeless for the next couple weeks, slowly making their way to where the majority of the Bard Coven witches lived, aka Harper's Haven (see my previous post lol). During those couple weeks, Bump had called Eira into his office to show them the official statement from their now ex-family that Eira was legally disowned and legally denied any access to their family records etc etc. They were... well. Let's just say Principal Bump wasn't surprised when things in his office got broken. Eira apologized for it, repeatedly, but he didn't hold it against them. He'd seen worse. They and Bump essentially made an agreement: if Eira could find a suitable place to live and a way to afford continuing learning at Hexside, he wouldn't make them leave the school. He couldn't let them keep learning there for free, school costs money; Eira knew this, of course, and Bump wasn't pleased about it, either, but the agreement was made.

Anyways, when Eira got to Harper's Haven, they wanted to be as close to the Bard Coven hq as possible, so they, a 14-year-old, walked into the Harper's Haven Hotel (Triple H), and immediately demanded to speak to the owner to ask about room and board, along with a job. They were raised rich, so their tone was all high-and-mighty, so the associate had quickly got the owner, Caric Thorne, a Construction witch.

After Eira explained their situation, Caric was incredibly sympathetic. It wasn't abnormal for high schoolers to get jobs (i.e. canonically Amity and the library job), so he wasn't against the idea. What he was against was that Eira was demanding a full-time job, something he couldn't allow a minor to have. Caric was relatively wealthy, though, having built Triple H from the ground up (literally), so he could vouch on Eira's behalf and partially pay for their schooling, which Eira begrudgingly accepted. Caric, Eira, and Bump made a deal: if Eira could keep their grades up, while also showing up to work on time and proving they can balance both school and work at "such a young age," there would be no issues with them doing both. And proved that to them, Eira did.

also cough at Caric's surname and Eran's surname lol

Now I would like to note a funfact: Eira is only 11 years younger than Raine and the rest of the canon adults (they're all in their early 40s). When Eira's 14, Raine wouldve only been in their mid-to-late 20s sdjghdg. ngl when Eira's 14 Raine and Eda would've only been broken up for a few years canonically. o o f the realization at that safgsjkgb

fast forward a couple yrs and Eira is still proving themself to both work and school. They ended up getting a loaner guitar from the Bard track, so they could practice outside of school. They found an empty space a couple miles outside of town, and made it their practice area, using construction magic to make their own stage and everything. They had gotten pretty damn good at playing guitar by the time they were 16, having learned the bass and drums as well. A straight-A student as well, and always on-time to work (considering they went to work as soon as school was done). Relatively easy when they live at the hotel, too, but still.

Not long after Eira's 16th birthday was the first covention they would've been able to attend, the first time they woulda been able to prove themself to the Bard Coven that their Scream could be incorporated into bard magic. But...alas...work got in the way. It was a busy week at Triple H, a Bard Coven concert just around the corner or something along those lines. So, instead of being able to attend, Eira wrote a letter and sent Corva off to deliver it to the coven head at the time, Scooter Crane.

the letter went as follows (mostly came up with this on the spot, but the concept of it has been sitting in my brain for a while):

"Head Witch Crane,

My name is Eira Bane, formerly Eralynne Harbane. I am 16 years old, and I inherited my family's infamous Scream. My family fully legally disowned me at age 13 when I told them I was going to be a Bard Witch whether they liked it or not. As proof I am who I say I am, I have sent my Palisman, Corva, as proof. She is, you'll recognize, a Harbinger Raven, and can tell you herself that I am who I say I am.

I, alas, cannot attend the covention due to work conflicts. Because I was kicked out of my family, I have had no choice but to work, along with attending school. I, at present, work at Harper's Haven Hotel, proudly and happily, in exchange for room and board. You may ask Mr. Caric Thorne about my work performance, and you may also ask Principal Bump for my school records.

I have wanted to be a musician since I was 10 years old. I have learned to play lute, guitar, bass, drums, and, of course, I can sing, since then. I have practiced using my family Scream and incorporating it into Bard magic, something no one in my family ancestry has ever done. I would be proud and incredibly glad to be accepted into the Bard Coven when I graduate from Hexside, if you'll allow me. However, there is one exception: I cannot be branded with the sigil. Because no one knows what power the Scream originates from, I cannot risk being branded with the Bard sigil, in the chance that I would no longer be able to use it with Bard magic.

I am more than willing to prove to you that the Scream can be tied into Bard magic, just tell me the time and place. Well... the place will have to be outdoors, naturally. If you accept this, you know where to find me.

-Eira Bane"

A few days later, during one of Eira's work shifts, Crane actually did send someone from the Bard coven to investigate...and who better than Raine Whispers themself. bc im seriously super self-indulgent and i love raine with all my heart asgfghjksghjkh

Just gonna summarize at this point, the two had a very long conversation...all while Eira, stubbornly, kept working. They weren't going to just stop working just to answer basic interview questions. The entire time, Raine was very deeply reminded of Eda. Both Eda and Eira were so incredibly stubborn, but very free-willed and, essentially, wild. It got Raine very intrigued into Eira's situation. By the end of Eira's shift, Raine had convinced Eira to show them were they practice, and Eira relented. While Eira was preparing in their room, Raine had contacted Crane and told him where to go, as a surprise to Eira. They wanted to prove themself to Crane, so what better time to do it?

At this point in Eira's life, they had made their first ever song, having recorded it both at school (instrumentals) and at their practice area (vocals). So when they brought Raine there, (they knew Crane was there, too, but didn't want to say anything as a joke at Raine, who was seriously not subtle about it), they set up everything but the central vocals and lead guitar, their strongest points. And perform they did-

https://youtu.be/dGl2qh7RXak (they use the Scream at 2:42 "You don't know me it's only what I let you see" not sure how to describe what it looked like, but just. yea. And yes, their vocal range is pretty wide. cuz why tf not djfjkdghk.)

Head Witch Crane was impressed with the performance, and another deal with Eira was made (behind raine's back, because raine was getting involved with it whether they liked it or not). If Eira could make a band by the time they graduate from school, and can further enhance their Scream into Bard magic, with training from a certain Bard Coven Witch cough Raine cough, then Crane would consider allowing Eira to be a Bard Coven Witch without the sigil. "I heard Caric's boy is wanting to join the Bard Coven as well, perhaps you should meet with him?" Crane had suggested, and, being the stubborn shit they were, Eira begrudgingly agreed.

By the end of their senior year, Eira had become close friends with Eran, who introduced them to Dartak, and Eira had found out Belak, who was in their grade at Hexside, was also into metal/hard rock, and was an incredible drummer. The group formulated the Harbinger Inferno, proudly using Corva as their mascot (who absolutely loved the idea and became an "integral" part of their band and performances). Eira explained how spiteful they were to their family, and the 3 boys immediately agreed to join in on the spite. By their Coven initiation, they had practically made an entire album setlist. I like to picture the Bard Coven initiation as a sort of talent show. They performed "True Colors", the first and best selling song. During the past year and a half, almost 2 years, Raine had officially become Eira's mentor, and was incredibly proud of Eira's band. Won't ever admit it to anyone, but still. Eira was their protégé, and proudly admits it any time they get the chance to. Scooter Crane was, again, greatly impressed by their progress and held up their end of the deal. Eira became the first and only Bard Coven witch to not have the sigil, instead having a formal pin that they keep on them at all times, something they're incredibly proud of. Not having the sigil meant they could be even more of a performer by incorporating other types of magic (mostly illusion magic) as well. Because they just have to be a show off.

Harbinger Inferno became famous, essentially. Got investigated by the Emperor's Coven a handful of times due to certain subjects of their songs, but they didn't get in any real trouble. They were sponsored by the Bard Coven after all. even more kudos to them when Raine became Head Witch for, like, a month or two.

Eira was hurt (emotionally) badly when the Day of Unity happened. They didn't have the sigil, they had to watch as their closest friends and fatherly figure Caric were being drained of their magic and actually hurt. When it ended, though, and the Collector took over the land, Harper's Haven was one of the first places that got hit. Luuuckily Eira was ready to kick some ass. They and their band, along with a handful of other witches, herded as many people as they could into the Bard Coven Center and Triple H to keep them safe. In the months that followed, Dartak had gotten Collected in the process of saving a group of stragglers. Thaaat def made Eira lose their shit. Fuck, they practically led an army of Bards and Construction witches after that, keeping Harper's Haven as safe as they possibly could. Even more so when belos took over the Titan's Heart and corrupted the land. Damn did their Scream come in handy. Then again, Eira learned from Raine how to use soundwaves as a way to manipulate surroundings, def comes in handy with the Scream. During that time, though Caric attempted to save a kid from some rubble, but because of his more elderly age and how weak he still was from the Draining Spell, he...didn't make it.

When everything was over, Harbinger Inferno led the effort in helping rebuild Harper's Haven...which really didn't take all too long. Triple H became a center for temporarily housing Harper's Haven's citizens. It was only a couple weeks after that Eira came up with the idea about the charity concert. And it gave them a good reason to get their grief out of their system by making the clearing they made as a teenager a lot bigger. r i p the trees lmao.

Anyways, by that point they're only 29 years old (roughly estimated Eda and Raine are 40. They def accomplished a fuckton of shit since they graduated from Hexside. and they like to rub it in Raine's face. a lot. "awwww Raine aren't you just so prooud of me, your protégé? heeeee" kinda shit. theyre an ass to raine at times and its totally worth it. Eira's "boys" - as they labeled Eran, Dartak and Belak - love playing along with it, too.

and if anyones curious, Eira used Corva to track down every single Bard witch possible to gather them for the first Bard Collective Charity Concert. Corva was ecstatic to track people down, she loves tracking. One of the Harbane ancestors had used her Oracle talents for the exact same thing. It's very fun, and incredibly freeing.

Bonus pics: Eira when they were younger!

Eira (Eralynne), age 13 (she/her)

Eira, age 14-17 (they/she)

Eira, age 18 (after joining the Bard Coven) (they/them)

Also more bonus, Harbinger Inferno's first album cover (which i just realized has an error and im gonna lose my shit) and the first album's songs (with listed credit for the actual bands who sing the songs lol) (peep the "Sponsored by the Bard Coven" in the bottom left corner lol)

"Now Let Them Tremble" (All That Remains) (all sing) "True Colors" (Wage War) (sung by Eira, Scream used) "Obey" (Bring Me The Horizon) (sung by Eira and Eran) (yes this song can be seen as a play at the emperor's coven bc thats exactly what its intended as heehee) "Pass The Nirvana" (Pierce The Veil) (sung by Eira, Scream can be used but not always) "Stitch" (Wage War) (sung by Eira) "Blood Runs Cold" (Rain City Drive) (sung by Eira) "Blood & Water" (Memphis May Fire) (sung by Eira, Scream used) "When Everything Means Nothing" (Fit For A King) (sung by Eran) "Ophelia" (Rain City Drive) (sung by Eran) "Bulls in the Bronx Hills" (Pierce The Veil) (sung by Eira, one of their most famous songs. partially renamed for Reasons)

please lemme know if u wanna know more about Eira and the band, i love them and owl house has given me such MASSIVE brainrot that theyre all i can focus on asgfsjghdjkghk h e l p

[pupuseriazag]

tw: venting about unlove:

Four months have passed after that "man" broke my heart. Treated my like he was interested, talkrd daily with him, he was there for me in some low moments (during which I would cry because I didnt felt enough for him or anybody), flirted and showed me signs he wanted me

Only for him to suddenly start being less and less caring with me, stopped giving me all those words and spent less time with me.

And I, in a stupid moment of weakness... Confessef my feelings for him

Wanna know something funny? He didnt reply in the moment. I talked to his friend and he listened to me talk how much I appreciated and loved him... How much I was willing to do for him. And he agreed we would've be nice together... That he was rooting for us and he was glad he had found someone so "nice" and "caring" as me.

He talked to him... 3 hours later he gives me the bad news... He is mad and sngry at his best friend for using my heart and not actually wanting to b with me... but still leading me on to believing we had a chance.

I was broken again, man. How. Many. Fucking. Times. Has. It. Been.

Time and time again I end up likr a fool.

And then he texted me. He was sorry for making me go thru that... After I had told him I was on the verge of stress for no one wanting to put the effort or wanting to fight for me.

He said that for weeks he did felt love for me... But realized he did not wanted to actually make the effort.

Thats when it happened. Thats when I got confirmation that no one would fight to be with me. Thats when I got confirmation that Im not enough for anybody... That theres something in me that people are easy to let me go.

Why am I not interestinf enough to keep them around? Why am I not pretty or handsome enough to keep someone? Why am I not... Anything actually special...

I was going everything alright... I've never hurt anybody and yet Im always the one hurt

My heart realized that night... That no one will ever truly love me like I love them...No matter how hard I search. No one will come to my life like I daydreamed when I was a little child. No one will work hard to be with me, no one will. No one will make sure I understand I am so....So very loved by them. No one will rver treat me right... And for some reason I dont deserve it.

But I know I do dederve it. I do deserve all those nicr things... But why does it never come? Why am I always thrown back to the ground amd forgotten?

I dont want to turn into the "I CAN love myself 😤😤" because I dont love myself. Being me has never made anybody feel like they want to fight for me... Not even myself.

And you knoe what I hate? I fucking despise the "Oh calm down! :) God will give you a nice MAN soon! Its all God's plan and God's timing is perfrct 😌"

I DONT WANT TO KEEP FUCKING WAITING. I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MY STUPID LIFE TO HAVE SOMEONE LOVE ME DEEPLY AND NO ONE TO THIS DAY HAS EVER DONE SO. WHY DOES GOD WANT ME TO GO THRU THIS?! JUST SO I CAN """VALUE""" THE ACTUAL ""CORRECT"" PERSON?! I ALREADY FUCKING DO THAT WITH EVERYONE.

ITS FUCKING UNFAIR FOR ME TO ALWAYS HAVE BEEN EITHER A FUCKING EASY TO LET GO PERSON AND NEVER HAD ANYBODY SHOE ME THE ACTUAL LEVEL OF LOVE I NEED AND DESERVE I FUCKING HATE IT I HATE IT A LOT

I DONT DESERVE ALL OF THESE HEARTBREAKS

I DONT DESERVE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME

SO IF GOD HAS ANYTHING IN PLAN FOR ME IS PROBABLY JUST TO FUCKING LAUGH ST MY FACE FOR EVERYTIME I BELIEVE I FOUND THE CORRECT PERSON.

WHY CANT I HAVE LOVE NOW???? WHY CANT I FEEL LOVED NOW??? WHY DO I NEED TO KEEP WAITING AND FALLING AND FALLING IN NEW TRAPS SO CALLED LESSONS?!?!

ITS ALL BULLSHIT TO ME

I just... I dont want more people... I think I deserve love... But it always feels like god and the universe dont think I do...

So guess what? You won. Enjoy seeing how from time to time I cry again to sleep becquse of how unloved I feel. But I wont try it again. I wont open my heart to anybody in that way again.

Enjoy watching how I have to write fanfics and hyperfocus on those becquse I want to feel some type of love nesr me... And at least my mind is good and crrating those peope that do care for me

[wutheringwaters]

Firstly, I would like to say that everything you write I absolutely love so when I first came across this trope, neighbors and older harry, I knew instantly this was going to be a fav. I’ve been meaning to reblog each chapter with every thought process I had for awhile now. I’ve read up to chapter 3 before and have a lot of catching up to do! So here goes and prepare for a spam of all your writing:

“He became the eye candy of your neighbourhood very quickly, and he had no problem accepting all the baked goods and warm welcomes all the single and married women of the street delivered” The way I can envision this and the previous beginning paragraphs, it’s like straight out of a movie scene! I loooove your detailed writing!!

“and he’d bid you a good morning with that classic smirk of his” I would never be one to jog in the morning, but I would be a fucking athlete if it meant passing him along the way 🫡

“it didn't matter what night it occurred, or if you had plans, because the second you were invited you were changing your entire life to make sure you could stay back and eat with him.” SO REAL. SO ME. MOST ACCURATE REPRESENTATION.

HER FANTASY BEFORE HER CAME HOME 🤭THE FUCKING ST LAURENT SUIT WILL FOREVER KEEP ME IN A CHOKEHOLD!!! GIRLIE I GET IT TOO!! ITS A PIECE OF WALKING ART!!!!

“Harry didn't care one bit that Archie was jumping all over him and possibly ruining his St. Laurent suit, the very same suit you were just fantasising about.” no bc this is just so attractive, how can one not swoon?? him and archies interactions >>>

and i know it’s been confirmed that archie is a golden retriever and it’s so perfect bc i remember the first time reading rich that’s all I imagined him as.

“as he returned to his towering height over you.” say less 🧎🏽‍♀️ tall men>>>> but specifically and especially harry >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Call it an unhealthy obsession, or pure lust over someone too young for him. Either way, Harry needed to see you daily to be satisfied. He could never find anyone that turned him on like you did” IM ABSOLUTELY LOVING THISSSSSS FEED ME MORE

“Harry took a step towards you and tilted your head up by your chin, so you were forced to look at him. His touch was so light and gentle”SPIRALING ALREADY 😵‍💫 THIS GETS ME EVERY TIME 😵‍💫

"Good, that's what I like to hear" He grinned, his thumb brushing against your lower lip ever so gently.” You’re coming for my life atp.

“and you were so nervous all you could do was nod. "Good girl. You're always so helpful, y'know that?" the praise is going straight to my head and to my 🤸🏽‍♀️ praise, praise, praise, oh how I love you.

“You tried to ignore the throbbing between your legs as you set the table” me too bestie, this isn’t for the weak

“He was just so… pretty, and he had such a way with words you felt drawn in the more he spoke.” This is such an accurate description, like he’s just so magnetizing?? ugh fucking harry bro

“Good girl. You’re too good for some college fuck boy, anyway. I’ve had my time in college and trust me, they’re all dickheads. Can barely find the clit, half of them” he scoffed” OK BUT HES SO FORWARD AND ITS SO HOT. AND THE FACT THAT HE DIDNT LIKE THE IDEA OF HER WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND ITS PISSING HIM OFF?? HOT.

“Who should I go for then? Someone like you?” OH SHES BOLD BOLD NOW!!

“Harry gripped your chin and turned your face to force your gaze on him. "What's the matter, love? You get nervous when I look at you like this?" he smirked, tracing his thumb along your bottom lip to pull it out from your teeth.” SHUT THE FUCK UP HES A MENACE I SWEAR. I WANT THIS TATTED ON MY FOREHEAD PLS.

“Ah”, he tutted “too bad you’ve had too much to drink” he sighed out in disappointment and let go of your face leaning back into his chair with a triumphant smirk on his face.” something about his smugness and teasing, can put anyone on their knees

“You know what... you want me to fuck you? Prove it” this is where my slut era would begin. any feminism would leave my soul, mind, and body. I cook, clean, and serve this man right here!

“Harry sat there relaxed and with no readable expression on his face, his arms wide on the back of the couch.” MANSPREADING ON THE COUCH?? DECEASED.

“you placed a hand on each of his thighs and used them for balance to get on your knees between his legs” The way the first thing she does is get on her knees. She’s so real for this. I would’ve been on my knees for this man instantly!! Most realistic thing ever 🧎🏽‍♀️

“You wanna suck my cock?” He cooed, tucking a piece of hair behind your head before caressing the side of your face and tipping your chin up.”Everything he says causes my heart to spasm. Going into respiratory shock but first and most importantly, I volunteer as tribute next!!! YES SIR I DO SIGN ME UP!!!

“He tried to watch you, because he had imagined the sight of you on your knees before him dozens of times and wanted to take in every detail for the next time he jerked off to you” I love the fact that he’s just as attracted to her as she is to him yet he’s acting oblivious to it. This scratches the itch in my brain. I’m truly truly loving this.

“He caressed your face and collected the come that landed on your cheeks and forehead on two fingers before smearing it over your lips. He rubbed it along your tongue, where his come was still sitting next, painting your entire tongue with it. “Swallow.” THIS NEEDS TO BE TATTED TOO. HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAV FUCKING PARTS. IM JUST SCREAMING CRYING DYING

“this all mine? Would let me do anything wouldn’t you?” He teased” You’re inside my mind I swear.

“and fuck maybe someday I will. But for tonight I’m gonna use a condom, alright?” wasn’t this just mr. one night stand only 🤪

“But you... he missed looking at your face”YUUUUPP HES FALLING THIS IS MORE THAN JUST PLEASURE BABY

“you covered his hand with your own and pressed it harder against your neck to force him to squeeze harder. You loved being choked, and you had fantasized about Harry doing it to you for years.” GET OUT OF MY HEAD 🫡 NEED THIS MAN TO ASPHYXIATE ME PLEASEEEEE

"I lost you there for a second, love. Thought you might need a break or some water before we do anything else" he replied with a soft smile” OH I NEED HIM BAD!! SOMEONE SEND ME A PURCHASE LINK ASAP. WTF HES SO SOFT CARING DOM POSSESSIVE SMUG EGOTISTICAL RESERVED AND NONCOMMITTAL YET OPPOSITE OF WHAT HE CLAIMS TO BE/WANT. I CAN FIX HIM YOUR HONOR LET ME BE BOB THE BUILDER!!

“How about we forgo the walk and do breakfast instead before I have to leave for work? Means you can sleep in a little more” AND THATS IT! I WOULD BE FALLING FOR HIM AND PLANNING MY WEDDING.

Wow. That was 😵‍💫🔪🧎🏽‍♀️ This was everything I’ve ever needed and more. I knew from the very beginning this series was gonna take me by the throat but by all means it exceeded every expectation. The plot, character details, descriptions, smut, dialogue, everything makes it feel so real and it’s crafted together so perfectly. I’m so excited and nervous for what’s to come but right now i’m busily admiring your writing!! You instantly draw people in and have everyone fiending for more! You’re gifted, truly. There’s only one way to describe how im feeling right now.. and that’s amy adams.

Rich H.S

Summary: Neighbour/Older!Harry. A Summer dogsitting job for Mr. Styles is a dream come true for any broke uni student. He's rich, gorgeous and finally fucks you after your weekly dinner together. A continuation of this sneak peak and semi-based off this request.

warning: penetration, oral (m & f recieving), dirty talk (like to the MAX), choking, spanking, hair pulling, daddy kink (only a little)

word count: 11k+

author’s note: enjoy this v smutty one shot. This definitely has the potential of having a part two, so let me know if that's something you'd like to see. Happy Reading! *Rich is now a series! Follow along on my blog and at the masterlist*

- Find Series Masterlist Here -

- Find my General Masterlist here -

When Mr. Styles moved next door, it felt like every single one of your fantasies had come alive. He was tall, older, devilishly handsome, and rich. You weren't sure what he did for work exactly, all you knew was that it made him work until 8pm most nights and afforded him an $80,000 car.

You weren't the most materialistic person, but god the way he oozed wealth made you drip in your panties. His entire wardrobe consisted of Gucci and St. Laurent, and he had no problem showing off every expensive item he owned.

He had exceptional style; one you were severely jealous of. Every day he left his house in a jaw-dropping outfit that you frothed over. They were all tailored to perfection and showcased the perfect body you knew he had underneath.

He became the eye candy of your neighbourhood very quickly, and he had no problem accepting all the baked goods and warm welcomes all the single and married women of the street delivered. He was as flirty and charming as he was private and reserved.

When he wanted to, he could charm the underwear off someone, and you knew for a fact that he had. Your room was adjacent to his, and even though there was a distance between your houses, you could hear the sounds of pleasure coming from his room when his guest was exceptionally loud.

The walk of shame was your favourite though. At least once a week someone would be sneaking out early in the morning. You liked your early morning walks, especially since the sun rose so early now that it was Summer, so you always saw the red-faced woman leaving his house while you were getting ready.

He never walked them out, which you noticed straight away, although he did leave not long after for his own morning walk. You’d always bump into each other as your route seemed to be opposites and took you past each other’s houses, and he’d bid you a good morning with that classic smirk of his.

He could be private when he wanted to though, and in the three years he had lived next door to you he had only attended one neighbourhood event and that was only because it was a going-away BBQ for when you left for university. You were quite close to your neighbours, so at the end of each Summer they’d host a BBQ for when your new school year would start, and you’d be off for months.

Your parents were the type to become friends with everyone in the neighbourhood, and Harry Styles was no exception. They welcomed him on his first night in his house and your mum baked him a cake for the occasion.

A strong friendship didn't form exactly, since he didn’t really like being too close to his neighbours, but they were friendly enough for your parents to volunteer you to be his dog walker/sitter while you were back home for your Summer break. His dog Archie was way too active to be satisfied with the daily walk Harry provided and way too people loving to go all day without seeing another person.

Harry had managed so far with doggie day care’s and hiring professional dog walkers but when your parents suggested that you could take over while you were home, he jumped on the opportunity. Harry liked that Archie was able to be in his own space during the day, and he trusted that you'd look after him much better than some stranger.

You usually applied for Summer jobs and had one lined up ready for when you got home, so you weren't lying around doing nothing for weeks. This year you were too caught up in exams to organise something.

Taking care of an adorable puppy for an insanely hot rich guy who usually tipped you on top of what he was putting into your account weekly was the perfect gig. It was right next door, and Harry gave you free rein to take Archie anywhere. You the option of either hanging out with him at his house or bringing him to yours, but you usually went to Harry’s to get out of the house.

As long as he was fed and walked once a day, Harry was a lot more relaxed about the job than you thought he'd be. He had a lot of trust in you, and slowly but surely, you'd say you even became friends with him.

You usually hung out with Archie for the second half of the day. On the days you had plans you’d do something in the morning then walk him in the afternoon before spending the rest of the day with him. Harry had a pool so more often than not you used that daily to get some laps in and cool down.

Your routine would change depending on your plans, but you always made sure you were around for Harry to come home. Archie hated the dark, and while the sun was setting later since it was Summer, Harry still arrived home once it had set most nights. It was easy to fit in your day, especially since you were getting paid for it.

Most nights you'd have some quick small talk, check him out and fantasise about him when he wasn’t looking at you directly and you'd be on your way home. But some days he’d stop you during your morning walk and invite you to join him for dinner. He’d bring home takeaway and always shouted your meal which was a bonus.

It happened once a week, always on a different night. But it didn't matter what night it occurred, or if you had plans, because the second you were invited you were changing your entire life to make sure you could stay back and eat with him.

That man made you so ravenous you had never experienced hunger like you did over his cock. He hadn't fucked you, nor insinuated that he wanted to fuck you but that didn't stop you from thinking about it.

You thought about every position, every activity, every room, and flat surface in his house he could fuck you on. Hell, by now you had done so much snooping you knew his wardrobe like the back of your hand and had pictured every article of clothing on him and how he'd look in each one while he was hovered over you.

Your favourite fantasy was him wearing his classic black St. Laurent suit. He'd come home and bend you over the nearest surface, the arm of his couch, or the dining table and absolutely wreck your pussy. He'd be so riled up he wouldn't even remove the suit, simply undo his pants, and fuck all his anger out on you.

He'd have you crying and begging to come, his hand wrapped tightly around your neck while the other covered your mouth so your cries wouldn't alert the neighbours. He'd whisper the filthiest words in your mouth and fuck you so hard your legs shook with every-

Archie's loud barking interrupted your daydreaming, and he suddenly jumped off the couch where you two were relaxing and ran to the front door. You heard the beep of Harry's car locking a second later, prompting you to get up and open the door before he had to unlock it himself.

"Is your daddy home Archie? Is that your daddy?" you cooed to Archie as you opened the front door to find Harry standing there with his briefcase in one hand and a plastic bag of Chinese takeaway in the other. "Hey Harry, here, let me" you greeted, grabbing the bag from him as he walked in.

"Thanks, love" he winked, making you blush and avoid eye contact with him. "Hi Archie, how's my strong boy? You have a good day with y/n? I heard you swam in the pool" Harry cooed, putting his briefcase down without care and bending at the waist so he could give Archie belly scratches and kisses all over his head and snout.

Harry didn't care one bit that Archie was jumping all over him and possibly ruining his St. Laurent suit, the very same suit you were just fantasising about. Your mouth ran dry at the realisation, your face growing hotter at how inappropriate your thoughts had been.

You clutched onto the takeaway bag anxiously, praying he wouldn't see how flushed you were.

"How was he today y/n, was he a good boy? I hope the bath wasn't too much of a hass-" his words stopped when his attention switched from his baby to you, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of your red cheeks. "Are you alright, love? You look a bit flushed?" he stood up, his head cocking as he returned to his towering height over you.

You only blushed more at the attention and looked at the ceiling momentarily to try and calm down. His height was another thing you loved. He towered over you and made you feel so small you wanted to fall to your knees in front of him.

"I'm fine! Just... hungry!" you replied quickly, holding up the food to emphasise your lie.

He didn't seem to believe your lie but nodded slowly anyway before grabbing his briefcase off the floor. A small smirk played on his lips, but you were too mortified at how horny you were to even notice.

"Mhmm... I'm just going to have a quick shower, do you need to freshen up or anything?" he asked with a raised brow, trying to ignore the sight of your bare legs clenched together so tight he wanted to pry them open.

You had sent photos of Archie in the pool today, and it was clear that you had joined him. That wasn't anything new, and Harry always had spare towels in the pool house and welcomed you to freshen up there after you swam.

What was new though, was that you were clearly still in your bikini. The loose button-up shirt you wore was long enough to cover your bum but see-through, so your bright pink bikini showed through.

Harry was having a hard time hiding how fucking attracted he was to you, especially with how exposed your legs were and how he could basically see your bare skin through the white material of your shirt. His mind spiralled with the knowledge that you swam in his pool in the first place... your pretty, young body swimming around with barely anything on.

Having you in front of him though, all flushed over something that definitely wasn't hunger and with your bikini-clad body so accessible was a new level of arousal for Harry.

His attraction to you was selfishly the key reason he wanted to give you this job. He knew you'd take care of Archie and his well-being was Harry's main priority in his life. He had no wife or kids, and no partner to keep him company, so Archie was his family.

More importantly, though, you were something pretty to look at every day and something to fuel his arousal when he tugged on his cock each night or fucked some desperate housewife. Call it an unhealthy obsession, or pure lust over someone too young for him. Either way, Harry needed to see you daily to be satisfied.

He could never find anyone that turned him on like you did. Your pretty eyes, your soft hair, those legs of yours that Harry wanted to wrap around his head. You were the personification of lust, even if you never tried to seduce him or even flirt with him.

He knew you were attracted to him, your cute blush across your cheeks and the way he always caught you looking at him when he left for work were key signs of it. Every morning on your daily walk he'd catch you with your head turned back looking at him after he passed you, and you always blushed after being caught.

That blush of yours killed him.

You'd always find some excuse to see him on the weekends too, whether it be because you forgot something or just missed Archie. He didn't care, and he always welcomed you in and offered you a drink while you checked him out.

You thought you were being inconspicuous, but you were always looking at him, watching him like you wanted to devour him and Harry noticed every time. He was so close to just coming home one day and bringing you to his bedroom before you could even ask him how his day was, he could practically taste your pussy.

"Oh, no, I didn't actually swim today! This was more for tanning and a strategic outfit for Archie's bath" you laughed, your words coming out fast as you looked down at your feet. The thought that Harry actually noticed what you were wearing made your body heat up more, butterflies fluttering in your stomach like crazy.

You caught him looking at you before. He was anything but subtle when he checked someone out, and every morning on your walk he'd scan you head to toe before greeting you. It was exhilarating to have him notice you like that, and equally as nerve-wracking.

Harry took a step towards you and tilted your head up by your chin, so you were forced to look at him. His touch was so light and gentle you easily could've pushed against it, but he had never touched you before, and certainly not to force your eyes on him so you didn’t dare push him away.

"And did you get a nice tan?" his voice was low and almost teasing. You had never heard him sound like that before, especially around you.

"Uhm, y-yes... a little" you whispered, your brain all foggy from his touch on your chin.

You could barely process his words, let alone reply coherently. If it weren't for the Chinese takeaway bags keeping your bodies separate, Harry would've been brushing right up against you. His one finger was already making you shudder with need, if any more of him touched you every cell in your body would've been on fire.

"Good, that's what I like to hear" He grinned, his thumb brushing against your lower lip ever so gently.

Your breath hitched at the movement, and you resisted the urge to bring his thumb into your mouth. He had never been so forward with you like this before.

"Can you set the table? There's a bottle of white in the fridge so help yourself" his touch didn't disappear from your face, and you were so nervous all you could do was nod. "Good girl. You're always so helpful, y'know that?"

"Um, thank you" you managed to get out, your knees buckling at how he called you a 'good girl'. He was a flirty man, but he was laying it thick tonight and you couldn't help but get excited about the idea of actually fucking him.

"You're cute" he chuckled, tapping your mouth with his thumb before pulling away completely. "I won't be too long" he walked away without a second glance like he hadn't just called you a good girl and traced your lips with his finger.

"What the fuck was that, Archie?" you asked him. Archie barked at you with his tail still wagging before he trotted off to follow Harry upstairs.

You tried to ignore the throbbing between your legs as you set the table. Heading for the wine first, you found it easily and poured yourself a glass before you did anything else. You drank the glass quickly to try and get some liquid courage into you, anything to help you act some type of normal after Harry nearly made you cream yourself.

Harry had bought some rice and meet dishes, so you left those in their containers and grabbed some serving spoons before pouring another glass of wine for yourself and one for Harry, so the missing glass you had already wouldn’t be so noticeable from the bottle. He said you could help yourself, but you knew he didn’t mean down a glass in 10 seconds to get over your own horniness and nerves.

You weren’t a child anymore, and yet it felt like you had never talked to a man before in your life. You had a good relationship with Harry and had never been uncomfortable or awkward around him. But when he flirted with you like this, called you a good girl and had his gorgeous… long… thick fingers near your mouth, you couldn’t even string a sentence together.

“I see you found the wine” Harry announced his presence and made you jump slightly from your position at the table.

You had nearly finished your second glass (you couldn’t help yourself, really) and were texting a guy from one of your classes who wanted to see how your break had been so far. It was a friendly conversation, and one you were only having to pass the time while you waited for Harry to finish showering.

“Yeah, it’s good” you looked up from your phone and resisted the urge to drop your jaw.

Harry was freshly showered with his hair still damp and falling down his eyes in such a boyish way he almost looked your age. He had on a pair of black shorts, hung low on his hips, and decided to forgo a shirt.

You tried not to stare, you really did. But you found yourself scanning him from head to toe, your eyes lingering longer on his toned abs and his cock that was so prominent you wanted to lick it through his shorts.

“Very… very good” you trailed off before taking a sip of your wine and looking away, your face heating up at the smirk on his face. Wine made you tipsy fast, and you were already feeling the effects and speaking your thoughts out loud.

“I bought it in Italy” he slid into the chair next to you, completely ignoring the plate and cutlery you set up in the spot opposite you. “I found it in a small deli in Tivoli, the owner, Giovani, gave me a sample and I was hooked…” he grabbed those items and put them in front of him as he spoke, arranging the knife and fork onto the napkin like you had previously done. “I ordered a whole barrel and got it shipped back to London. Giovani was so happy he invited me to have a meal with his family. That was the best pesto pasta I have ever had in my life”

You were mesmerised as he spoke, sipping on your wine and eyeing his lips and the way he formed his words. He was just so… pretty, and he had such a way with words you felt drawn in the more he spoke.

“Have you ever been to Italy?” he asked, “want a bit of everything?” he continued, pausing with a spoon of rice over your plate.

“Yes please” you replied, taking another sip before responding. “I’ve never really been out of the country before. I’d love to see Italy though, everything about it just seems so… beautiful”

“Your parents never take you on family holidays?” he asked with a raised brow, plating some more food for you before he moved onto his own.

“Rarely, they didn’t really have money for holidays when I was growing up. Now they do and I’m an adult… well, I don’t really have the money to join them on their trips” you shrugged, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass.

He let out a little hum of acknowledgement, “Well, if you ever get the opportunity, I know you’d love it. The food is amazing, and a pretty thing like you would fit in perfectly with the beautiful scenery” he took a spoonful of food, his compliment coming out smooth and hitting you right in your stomach.

“Maybe once I finish my degree” you blushed, taking your own spoonful, and looking down at your lap. You hated how shy he made you. It was beyond irritating how you couldn’t even look him in the eye while he complimented you, or even looked at you in a certain way.

Conversation flowed for a while about his travels. You liked hearing him talk so you kept asking him questions about Italy and other places he had been to. It was going great, and you really enjoyed talking to him… well mostly listening anyway.

Every time he asked you a question, though, you’d clam up while he looked at you. When he spoke, he was so animated, a true storyteller, but when he was listening his entire focus was on you and it freaked you out. He’d keep his eyes on you the entire time, and he had this look on his face that made you drip between your thighs.

His finger kept tracing the rim of that damn wine glass of his and it was making you think ungodly thoughts. You couldn’t contain your blush and you kept fumbling with your words because of the attention he was giving you.

You were talking about something Archie did today, a safety topic instead of talking about yourself when your phone buzzed and interrupted your sentence. You quickly looked at it to see who it was from and saw that it was the same guy from your class. You decided to ignore it and continue talking until he texted you again. You turned your phone upside down this time so you wouldn’t have to look at it again and looked back to find Harry looking right at you with a furrowed expression, instead of his classic flirty smile.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, just some guy in my class texting me” you shrugged, looking down at your empty plate.

“Is this ‘guy’ your boyfriend?” he couldn’t help himself. He leaned back on his chair and looked at you expectantly, waiting for your answer.

“No, definitely not. I don’t have a boyfriend”

“Good girl. You’re too good for some college fuck boy, anyway. I’ve had my time in college and trust me, they’re all dickheads. Can barely find the clit, half of them” he scoffed, taking a large swig of wine like the thought of you being with anyone else pissed him off.

Again, with the ‘good girl’. It made you want to drop to your knees and service him right under the table. The fact that he even said the word clit around you made you go absolutely feral, clenching your thighs to try and relieve some of the growing pressure between your legs.

You didn’t know whether it was the wine, or the fact that you had been so unbearably horny since before Harry got home, but you had this newfound confidence to say what you wanted. “Who should I go for then? Someone like you?”

It was definitely the wine.

The second the words left your mouth Harry’s head snapped to you and his pupils dilated just looking at you. It was like you throwing a somewhat flirty reply back to him provided some type of ammunition.

“Yes. Someone like me…” he trailed off, his eyes flicking between yours and your lips.

You bit down on your bottom lip subconsciously and avoided his gaze like you had been doing the entire night. Instead of letting it happen though, Harry gripped your chin and turned your face to force your gaze on him.

"What's the matter, love? You get nervous when I look at you like this?" he smirked, tracing his thumb along your bottom lip to pull it out from your teeth.

You let out a shuddered breath and leaned in closer to his touch, your eyes fluttering shut momentarily. “Yes. I’ve had too much wine and you make me nervous anyway, but now I’m like extra nervous” your words came out rushed and a little sloppy. You weren’t drunk, but you were definitely feeling the effects.

“hmm” he chuckled, cupping your jaw instead of your chin and moving your face around so he could get a good look at you “you’re so cute you know that, so… innocent… and yet I can’t stop thinking about bending you over this table and taking that innocence away from you”

You let out a little whimper, gripping onto the chair below you as you practically salivated at his words. Your eyes widened and now you definitely thought you were going to get fucked.

“We both know that’s a lie though, isn’t it. That you’re innocent?” He gripped your jaw harder this time and leaned in close while he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear with his other hand “you may think that I don’t know what goes through that pretty little head of yours, but I do. You want me to fuck you until you can’t walk anymore, isn’t that right, sweetheart?” He murmured.

Your mouth grew dry and you nodded, making a wide smirk grow on his face. “Ah”, he tutted “too bad you’ve had too much to drink” he sighed out in disappointment and let go of your face, leaning back into his chair with a triumphant smirk on his face.

“I-I haven’t” you sputtered out, way too eagerly. “I’m okay, promise”

It was annoying how fast wine hit you. If he gave you vodka you could’ve had five shots and been fine. Wine was never your choice of drink when you went out, so it went straight to your head.

If the wine you used to get over your nerves cockblocked you, you were never touching a drop of it again in your life. Especially since this cock belonged to a drop dead gorgeous, rich man who you knew would be the best dick you ever had.

He raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest, poking his tongue into his cheek and looking you up and down in your chair. “How about we have some dessert then? And you stop drinking this” he moved your wine glass away from you, “then we’ll see how we go?”

“Okay”

The two of you cleaned up the table and dishes together while Harry jumped into another story, pretending like he hadn’t just talked about fucking you silly. It was a welcome distraction and gave you something to think about other than what just happened, but you could barely concentrate on what he was saying.

You were still unbearably wet between your thighs, and it was killing you. You knew if you put your fingers there, they’d be dripping. Fuck, at this point Harry could slip his cock right in you without any prep and it wouldn’t even hurt.

You would’ve loved the burn, anyway. Honesty, you hadn’t been fucked for a while and you craved the feeling of a big dick stretching you and making you ache, Harry’s big dick specifically.

“What are you thinking about, y/n?” Harry asked, scratching Archie’s ear and looking at you from his spot on the couch. He was sitting with his back against the arm rest, Archie laying between his legs with his chin on his thigh. You were sitting the same opposite him, your legs crossed in front of you.

“Nothing” you shrugged, biting down on your lip.

You couldn’t help but feel impatient now. He had been dragging it out since dinner, telling you all these stories, making you ice cream and moving it to the couch where Archie was laying between you two and being the ultimate cock block. You had sobered up already and if he didn’t fuck you soon you were going to leave and text your old hook-up or take care of things yourself.

“Liar” he smirked, “c’mon, tell me the truth. Close your eyes if it makes it easier. I know how nervous you get when I look at you. Your cheeks are already turning red” he cocked his head, almost daring you to finally speak your mind.

You tried to disprove his comment by controlling the heat in your face at the way he was looking at you, but he told the truth, and you couldn’t help but blush. Your next words didn’t help the situation either.

“I’m thinking that this is a waste of time and I’m better off finding someone else to fuck me if you won’t. I’m sober, so are you. So are you going to fuck me or not?” You didn’t sound the least bit confident in how you spoke, but Harry’s brows still rose quickly in surprise.

“Go to bed Archie” he told him, not taking his eyes off you as he played with his lips with his ringed fingers. Archie followed the command immediately, grabbing his toy in his mouth and trotting off to his dog bed upstairs. “They were some big words for someone so shy…” he commented, looking you up and down while tapping his fingers along the back of the couch. He let out a small hum like he was debating his words before he spoke again, “You know what... you want me to fuck you? Prove it”

You weren’t going to miss this opportunity when you were so goddamn horny you could cry. So you nodded and got off the couch, moving so you were standing right in front of him. Harry shifted so he was sitting facing you, his legs widened so you could step between them.

Harry sat there relaxed and with no readable expression on his face, his arms wide on the back of the couch. You knew he had been staring at your body all day, and you were still wearing your bikini under the sheer material of your shirt. You began to unbutton the shirt slowly to expose more and more of your skin.

His gaze darkened onto your body, and you could feel goosebumps rise all over your skin. You maintained eye contact with him as you finally let the shirt drop from your shoulders, leaving you standing there in a bikini that barely covered anything. It was one you basically only used for tanning, stringy and minimal for the smallest tan lines possible.

You didn’t wear it for Harry, but you were glad you chose it for today. The way he looked at you sent heat all over your body, and you loved it.

Harry’s hips shifted a little, drawing your eye to where his cock was slowly but surely hardening in his shorts. You couldn’t help but bite your lip when you noticed it, so you decided to take it a step further and undo the knot at your neck, causing your top to fall and expose your breasts. You undid the tie at your back next, so the top fell completely at your feet.

“Fuck…” he cursed, playing with his bottom lip as he stared right at your tits.

Harry was in two minds about what to do with you next. Part of him wanted to get you on your knees before him, and the other wanted to have you bouncing on his cock as soon as humanly possible. The way you were just standing there, so nervous looking with your pretty tits out before him was driving him crazy.

Before he could say or do anything else, you placed a hand on each of his thighs and used them for balance to get on your knees between his legs. His eyes widened for just a second, long enough to tell you that he wasn’t expecting you to do that. You couldn’t help but smile a little at his reaction, shifting on your knees to get comfortable.

“You wanna suck my cock?” He cooed, tucking a piece of hair behind your head before caressing the side of your face and tipping your chin up.

You nodded, bringing your hands to the waistband of his shorts. “Yes”

“Go on then sweetheart, show me what that mouth of yours can do” he smirked, slipping his thumb into your mouth before dragging your lip down. You bit down on it gently and nearly moaned when he brought the same thumb to his mouth to suck it clean.

He lifted his hips slightly so you could pull his shorts down, and oh god that would’ve had to be the prettiest cock you had ever seen. You pulled his shorts off completely with his help and chucked them behind you so you could focus on his cock.

It was so long and thick, a pretty pink tip just like his lips and resting up against his happy trail. It was practically staring at you and you were so excited to get a taste of it on your tongue. You looked up at Harry who smirked down at you and tilted his head towards you in a nod, telling you to get started.

You collected saliva in your mouth and spat on your hand for some lube before wrapping it around the base of his cock. Harry let out a shuddered breath at the feeling of your hand wrapped around him, squeezing hard enough for it to feel good but not hard enough for it to hurt.

You moved your hand up and down towards the base and used your mouth to pleasure his tip. You started with a small lick over his slit, humming at the salty taste of pre-come that had already started to collect. He let out the smallest moan, showing that he liked when you focused there. So you did it again and again, flicking your tongue over his slit while your hand squeezed and tugged at the base of his cock.

“Jesus fucking Christ sweetheart, you’re doing so well” he praised, caressing your hair before sliding his fingers into it and gripping gently. “Bring it into your mouth…” you did as instructed, sliding the tip of his cock into your mouth. “That’s it, fuck, that’s it…”

His head tilted back against the couch as he gently guided your mouth up and down his cock. He wasn’t rough, and didn’t force you to lower than you wanted to, but it kept you at the pace he wanted. You were still using your hand at his base, but decided to move it down to his balls so you could take him deeper into your mouth.

“Oh fuckk, I’m gonna come if you keep doing that” he groaned, his thighs tensing on either side of your shoulders at how heavenly it felt to have you fondle his balls.

This only encouraged you to keep going, digging your fingers into his thigh while you bopped over his cock and played with his balls in your other hand. His moaning was increasing, as was the tightness of his grip in your hair.

“I want you to come on my face, please” you panted, pulling off his cock only long enough to speak before you brought him back to your mouth.

It was like there was a switch in you. Before this you were so shy and cute, blushing at everything he said. But now? Here you were begging him to come on your face, and all it took was Harry's cock. Harry was addicted to this switch, and he wanted to make it permanent so you weren't so damn shy around him.

“Yeah? Is that so I can last all night and fuck you silly? Is that why you want me to come?” He teased, moving you faster over his cock.

You nodded the best you could and fondled his balls a little faster in your hand, bringing him further into your mouth and trying to relax your throat so you wouldn’t gag. The last thing you needed was throwing up all over his dick, especially when you had been craving it for years at this point.

“Yes, yes I want you to fuck me all night…” your voice was broken and rough from his cock. You started fisting his shaft in your hand and kitten-licking his tip again. You wanted his come and you would’ve drowned in it if you could.

“Want you to fuck me every way, in every room” you panted, sloppily licking at his balls before following the vein on the underside of him to his tip with your tongue. You did this over and over again, alternating between licking at his balls to sucking and flicking at his tip, all while your hand was pumping up and down over him.

Harry made you nervous, that was a given. But seeing him so fucked out because of what you were doing made you confident to say and do what you wanted. You were confident in your skills anyway, but Harry has always been an unattainable fantasy so making him feel good was the ultimate ego boost.

He was a mess above you. The second you started talking he could already feel himself getting closer and closer to his orgasm. He tried to watch you, because he had imagined the sight of you on your knees before him dozens of times and wanted to take in every detail for the next time he jerked off to you. But fucking hell with the way you were slobbering all over him and licking at his length so expertly he could barely keep his eyes open.

He didn’t expect it from you if he was being honest, but it was the best fucking surprise of his life. He loved a hot mouth and he could sit there and get a blowjob for hours if he could last. Yours would’ve had to be the best head he had received in a while, and the fact that it belonged to you was the cherry on top.

He didn’t know if he could keep this a one-night stand after this. He only ever did one-night stands and his plans for you were no different. But you were so fucking sexy and so eager to please, and you lived right next door and came to see him daily. The opportunity was always there, and he just couldn’t see himself not taking advantage of it in the future.

“Don’t stop y/n, I’m close” he groaned, tilting his head down to look at you as he moaned with an open mouth. His hair had stuck to his forehead where sweat had started to collect and his chest grew red at the beginning of his orgasm.

“Come for me, Harry. Give it to me” you encouraged, tapping his tip against your tongue as you pumped his length in one hand and played with his balls in the other.

“Fuckk, you’re so hot sweetheart, fucking love this, love your tongue” he moaned, his hand tightening in your hair as his abs started to tense up. “I’m gonna come... Take it. Fucking take it”

He let out a large moan and forced himself to look at you as he came. His come flew out in spurts, landing on your tongue and cheeks as you kept tapping his cock against your tongue. You hummed appreciatively against him and kept your mouth open to collect as much of his come as you could, not swallowing until he told you to.

God, he looked incredible as he came, his mouth dropped open and his eyes lidded and nearly closed in ecstasy. You wanted to see him come over and over again, and you would’ve done anything to make that happen.

“That’s a good girl, keep your mouth open and don’t swallow yet… fuck…” he panted as his cock started to soften in your hand. He caressed your face and collected the come that landed on your cheeks and forehead on two fingers before smearing it over your lips. He rubbed it along your tongue, where his come was still sitting next, painting your entire tongue with it. “Swallow, fucking swallow it all”

You did it immediately, opening your tongue to show him that it was all gone. He smiled down at you and cupped your face, pushing your mouth closed. “Good girl, god you’re so fucking perfect” his eyes drifted down to your tits for a moment, then lower to where your thighs were tensed closed.

He needed time before he could get hard again to fuck you and spending that time with his face buried in your cunt sounded like the perfect plan. “Stand up sweetheart” he instructed, giving you his hands so you could use them as leverage to stand up.

Your knees were shaky and your legs sore, but you didn’t care one bit. Sucking him off made you so horny and your clit felt like it could explode if he didn’t touch you.

“Take these off for me, need to see your pretty pussy” he cooed, gently grabbing your hips and looking from your bikini bottoms to your eyes.

You released a shaky breath and nodded before tucking your thumbs into the sides of your bikini and pushing it down, so it fell at your feet. You felt extremely vulnerable with how focused he was on scanning you head to toe, but you kept your eyes on his and didn’t look away this time. You just had his cock in your mouth and made him come; if anything you wanted him to see you… all of you.

Harry’s mouth grew dry at the sight of you in front of him, all trimmed and fucking soaked. He could see how wet your folds were in the dim lighting, so shiny and soft. He suddenly wished he didn’t let you finish him off.

His cock was sore just looking at you and he knew that he’d have to get himself hard again as soon as possible. At the same time though, he was glad that his cock was soft because he craved your taste and wanted to have you ride his face until he was covered in your arousal.

He stood quickly and slid a hand into your hair at the back of your head, pulling your face towards his and kissing you passionately before you could even process what was happening. With a firm grip on your hip, he pulled you flush against him, angling your face in the way he wanted so he could kiss you.

He could taste his own come on your tongue, yet that didn’t deter him and if anything, it only made your attraction to him grow. Most of the men you had hooked up with absolutely refused to kiss you after you gave them head but always encouraged you to kiss them after they ate you out (on the rare occasion they did).

The kiss was absolutely dizzying, and you kissed back eagerly, wounding your fingers through his hair so he wouldn’t pull away. You had dreamt about his lips for the longest time, and they definitely lived up to your expectations. They were soft and plump, and he kissed so well you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth.

This only seemed to encourage him, causing him to smirk against your mouth and nibble on your bottom lip. In the shortest time, your lips were already becoming sore, but you loved it and only craved more of him. Harry let out a little groan when you decided to bite back, and you took advantage of the opportunity and slipped your tongue into his mouth.

Harry loved when you took control, even though you seemed to relinquish it soon after, he loved that you told him what you wanted. He fisted at your hair tighter, causing you to whimper in pain and scratch at his scalp a little as he gladly slid his tongue against yours. His hand moved from your hip to your ass, grabbing onto it firmly and kneading it in his hand. He suddenly drew his hand back and slapped your ass hard, making you jolt against him and whine into his mouth.

The pain only made you wetter, and between his warm chest pressed against yours and his hand in your hair, you were ready to jump on his cock. Before you could even plead for more, Harry pulled away and tucked his hands under your ass, forcing you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist so he could carry you.

You held tight while he walked you through his house. You kissed from his jaw and down along the column of his neck, a low hum of appreciation escaping his lips. When you met the bottom of his neck you decided to bite down in the junction where his neck met his shoulder, sucking right after to try and create a mark.

“You’re so going to regret that, sweetheart” he chuckled, slapping your ass hard as he continued walking. You smiled and licked the spot you bit, trailing your tongue up to his ear where you tugged on it. He spanked you again and groaned in your ear, loving how playful you were being.

When you made it to his bedroom, he closed the door to keep Archie out then laid you on the bed and unwrapped your legs from his waist, kneeling between them. He grabbed onto your wrists and pinned them above your head, smirking down at you. “Keep these here, understand?”

“Yes,” you nodded, keeping them above your head after he let them go.

He started doing the exact same thing you were doing to him; he held onto your jaw and angled your face up so he could kiss along it before moving down the column of your neck. This time though, he took a lot longer going down there, stopping to nip and bite at so many spots until you were squirming underneath him.

He hovered over you, now using both arms to keep himself balanced as he smirked up at you. He continued moving down along your collarbones, nipping right on top of your left one when he felt you shudder at his kiss there.

It was like he was trying to find every sensitive spot on your body, kissing and licking around until you twitched or sighed or did anything that indicated that he reached somewhere sensitive. As soon as he knew it, he’d attack it and create one pretty bruised mark after the other.

It was both heaven and pure torture. His lips felt amazing going over your body but his knees were keeping your legs wide so you couldn’t squeeze them together to relieve the tension. You needed him to touch you, bad, and when he got to your nipples this only got worst.

“These are the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen in my life” he complimented, squeezing one in his hand before leaning down to tug on it gently between his teeth. You whimpered and scrunched your hands into fists to try and keep them there, fighting the urge to tug on his hair.

“Gorgeous, just so fucking gorgeous you are. And all mine, hmm?” He switched to your other breast, flicking his tongue against your nipple before bringing it into his mouth and sucking on it. He released it with a pop before speaking again, “this all mine?” He cooed, maintaining eye contact with you as he leant down to bite it again, dragging it back in his teeth.

“Yes, oh god, yes… all yours” you moaned, your thighs attempting to close around Harry’s legs.

“I know… ohh baby, I know. Would let me do anything wouldn’t you?” He teased, kissing lower down and dragging his tongue along the centre of your stomach. He placed his hands on your inner thighs to pin them open as he slid down onto his stomach so he could kiss below your belly button. “Now tell me, what do you want sweet girl? I can tell you want something” he pressed a kiss to your mound this time. He was so close to your pussy that you could scream.

“Please Harry, need your… need your mouth”

“Yeah? You need my mouth all over your pretty little cunt” he cocked his head, his thumbs rubbing along the crease of your legs, right near your pussy.

You nodded eagerly, “yes, please”

“It’s so pretty you know that? Got the prettiest pussy…” he blew right over your clit before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to your mound again. “Not that surprising though, is it? You’re such a pretty girl, gorgeous really. No wonder you’ve got such a pretty pussy”

Your body heated up at his compliment, your face becoming all red in the cheeks. You pressed your cheek into the bed, so you didn’t look at him, not wanting him to see just how nervous he made you even though you just had his cock in your mouth.

He turned his head to kiss your thigh instead, and while you hoped he’d pick up the pace and kiss down quickly before eating you out, he did the opposite and repeated the same process as your neck. He licked and sucked his way from your mid-thigh down to your inner thigh, completely ignoring your growing pleas for him to touch you properly.

You kept your hands above your head, despite the need for you to use them to guide Harry’s mouth to your cunt. Something told you that he wouldn’t like that though, and at this point, you were so desperate for an orgasm you didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise it.

When his mouth met where his hand was, he switched sides and repeated the process. He kept his eyes on you the entire time, watching as your squirmed and panted above him. Your eyes were closed most of the time, but every now and then you’d open them and plead again for him to just touch you.

Right after you pleaded with him and your eyes fluttered closed again, he struck. Instead of going down to meet his hand, he dove straight in and licked one stripe from your entrance to your clit. Your eyes flew open, and you gasped at the sudden touch, moaning incredibly loud when he did it again and pressed his tongue to your clit.

“Fucking hell baby, you taste so good I could eat you every day for the rest of my fucking life” he groaned, lapping at your clit and causing the prettiest whines of pleasure to drop from your mouth. You really did taste incredible, and you were so wet you were soaking his tongue in your flavour.

Harry loved it and craved your orgasm on his tongue. He used his fingers to spread you open to him making it easier for him to collect your arousal from your entrance. He flicked his tongue against there before pressing it as deep as it could go inside you, moaning obscenely at your flavour and trying to get as much as he could. You were writing underneath him, loving the way his tongue felt inside you.

“Please Harry” you whimpered, bringing your arms down to cover your face as you tried to grind up to meet his mouth.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I got you” he cooed, pressing an open-mouthed kiss at your clit. He repeated this a few more times, applying light suction each time he did it. “Put your arms back up, need to see your pretty face”

You shakily pushed your arms back up over your head, keeping your eyes closed as your back arched at how amazing it felt to have his mouth around your clit. He sucked harder, flicking his tongue over you between each suck.

He was building up the pressure, doing light licks and suckles before pressing harder and doing firmer actions. He was absolutely obsessed with the way your face was scrunched up; your mouth wide open as your whimpered so prettily.

“God you’re so pretty, look so fucking gorgeous like this” he hummed, circling your entrance with his forefinger before slipping it in gently.

He curled his finger into you, finding that spongey spot inside of you after a few thrusts, changing the position of his fingertips until he found it. When he did, oh he knew it right away because you let out the filthiest whine he had ever heard.

“Oh god, yes! Right there, Harry… please don’t stop” you panted, fisting your hands as your back arched off the back again.

Harry groaned against you and lapped faster at your clit, slipping a second finger into you, and thrusting them as fast as he could right against your g-spot. The way your breasts looked from this angle, all red and splotchy and already bruising was driving him crazy. Those marks would last for days, and he knew he’d be getting you naked very soon to see how they were healing.

He kept eating you out like you were his last meal, moaning and groaning into you with pleasure. The room was filled with your combined noises of pleasure, and obscene wet sounds, both from your own wetness and his mouth.

With each curl of his fingers more and more arousal oozed out of you, coating his fingers with cream that dripped to cover his palm. He loved being covered in it, and at this point, his chin and nose were drenched also which only turned him on more.

Your scent, your flavour, everything was addictive. His cock was already plumping up against the bed and he knew by the time you came he’d be ready to fuck you to oblivion. He was utterly looking forward to it too, you were so warm around his fingers, and he knew it would feel heavenly wrapped around his cock.

“H-Harry I’m gonna come” you warned, your orgasm approaching rapidly.

It was a slow burn at first, a build-up like you thought you were going to come but weren’t completely sure. Then it became so much more intense, rushing and firing up inside you with so much certainty that you were going to come that there was no way you could hold it even if he asked you to.

“Go on sweetheart. Just look at me, open your eyes and look at me as you come” he encouraged, “that’s it, good girl” he praised once your eyes opened to look at him.

His tongue returned to your clit which had you panting above him, your thighs beginning to shake around his head as your orgasm waved over you. You cried out his name, your body tensing and vibrating all at the same time as waves of pleasure flooded your body. He carried you through with his fingers and tongue, slowing down to soft touches so it didn’t overwhelm you just yet.

You tried to keep your eyes open to look at him, and you were glad you did because the same eye contact that had you flustered all night made your orgasm so much more intense. It felt like you were connecting to Harry on a deeper level just by looking at him in such a vulnerable state, but you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself and misread this entire situation. It was a hook-up you had dreamt of for years, and you hoped that at the end of it you’d still keep your job. It didn’t have to go past that, but part of you hoped it would.

“That’s it, baby, look so fucking gorgeous when you come” he sighed, licking his fingers that were inside of you clean before pressing kisses to your thighs as your body relaxed into the bed.

He kissed up your body, gentle open-mouth kisses over the bruises he had made until he hovered over you. His hips dropped so his hard cock was pressed right over your soaked pussy. The feeling made you whimper and wrap your legs around his waist as he joined his lips to yours, his cock sliding between your folds and pressing against your sensitive clit. He groaned into your mouth and ran his tongue across the seam of your lips, slipping his tongue in when you parted them to give him access.

“Taste’s so good” you moaned against his mouth.

“I know, oh god I know” he groaned, kissing you almost desperately and sliding his tongue against yours again.

Your arousal was all over his tongue, and the taste made you moan. Both your releases were still lingering on each other’s tongues and the mixture made both of you kiss each other harder. Your tongues pressed harder together, and you tugged at his hair as you bucked your hips to try and grind against him.

“Fuck me, godd Harry I need your cock so bad… I’m on birth control and I’m clean so please” you gasped out, squeezing your legs around him tighter to try and emphasise your point.

He wanted to fuck you raw, holy fuck did he want to fuck you raw, especially with his cock already nestled between your dripping folds. But he never took the chance and risked a pregnancy, nor did he believe every girl that told him they were on birth control.

He had money, so he knew someone would be crazy enough to try and baby-trap him. He didn’t not believe you, nor did he think you’d risk getting pregnant when you were so dedicated to your studies and career but putting on a condom was safer for him.

“I’d love to fuck you raw sweetheart, and fuck maybe someday I will. But for tonight I’m gonna use a condom, alright?” He caressed your face and kissed you again before reaching over to his bedside table where the box of condoms was.

“Mhmm, okay, just hurry up” you replied, propping your upper body up on your elbows.

You didn’t care too much about using a condom or not, but it did surprise you that he didn’t jump on the opportunity of coming inside you. If you had offered someone your age the same thing, they’d be in you so fast so they could fuck you raw.

Harry had already proved that he was different from younger guys; receiving mind-blowing head was something you hadn’t had in a long time. Maybe he had a reason, and maybe you’d press him for the answer after you were finished.

What had your head reeling more than anything else though, was the fact that he said that ‘someday’ he might fuck you raw, implying that this could happen again. And god you wanted it to happen again, more than anything.

You dropped your legs from his waist as he returned to you, dropping back to sit on his haunches as he opened the condom wrapped and chucked it behind him.

“Impatient, are we?” He smirked, sliding the condom on his cock that was soaked in your arousal already.

“Yes” you replied, biting on your lip as you looked up at him. He placed his hands on either side of your head and leaned down to kiss you, forcing you to lay flat on your back.

“Gonna make you feel so full sweetheart” he murmured against your mouth, reaching between your bodies to grab onto his cock and guide his tip to your entrance.

“Mmh, please” you moaned, wounding your fingers through his hair and taking a firm grip in anticipation.

Harry pulled his face from yours so he could look down at you, wanting to see your face when he entered you for the first time. He had already stretched you out before with his fingers, and with your pussy still dripping wet he slid in easily. He did it slowly, making sure you felt every single inch of him go into you.

Your mouth opened on a choked moan and your fingers dug into his scalp as your back arched against him. “Oh fuck” you cried, your eyes closing. You kissed him blindly, catching his bottom lip between yours and biting down as he kept pushing in until he couldn’t anymore.

Harry replied with a similarly eager ‘fuck’, drawing it out while he let you adjust to his size. He was a lot thicker than two fingers, but with the way you were clutching onto him and panting into his mouth he could tell you liked it.

He hadn’t entered you all the way just yet, but fucking hell the feeling was indescribable. With a few more thrusts he’d be balls deep in you, having your wet velvety walls covering every inch of his cock.

“Okay?” He asked, checking in with you before he made any movements.

“Yes, god yes, fuck me. Please just fuck me, hard” you begged, hooking your leg around his hips to try and push him deeper into you.

“I fucking love your filthy mouth” he groaned, kissing you roughly as he slowly began snapping his hips up to meet yours.

You wrapped your arms around his chest and let your head tilt back as you moaned through an open mouth, unable to close it even if you tried. He didn’t seem to like this though, because his hands were soon threading into your hair on either side of your head and pulling your face down so he could reach your mouth with his own.

“You feel so good baby, so hot and tight. Can’t get over this” he praised, kissing you lazily and letting his mouth brush against yours as he panted into it.

Harry kept rocking into you, grinding his hips while his cock slipped deeper and deeper until he was balls-deep in you, his cock filling you to the absolute brim. You had never felt anything like it. Being so full and so stretched was making you go absolutely crazy.

You couldn't even speak, only moan and whine underneath him as he fucked into you over and over again. You clung onto him with your arms, pressing your chest up into him as your fingers dug into his back. With every thrust your body slid with his, moving up and down the bed with the force.

Every grind forced your clit to rub against his lower stomach, delicious pleasure making your insides twist up already in preparation for another orgasm. It happened a lot quicker than you expected. Although with the way Harry was fucking you dizzy he could've been going for five minutes or an hour and you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

Harry's head tilted back when you clenched around him involuntarily, groaning out such a deep sound, your eyes opened to look at him. He looked so fucking delicious, a thin layer of sweat covering his face and chest and his cross necklace swaying over your face in such a seductive way you could've cried.

"Are you close again, love? Can feel you squeezing me so tight" he looked down at you, his irises dilating when he saw that you were already looking at him, your eyes nearly slits with how hooded they were.

"Y-yes. I'm, I'm gonna come" you stuttered, practically clawing at his back as your body tensed up underneath him.

"Go on baby, come for me... give Daddy another orgasm" his voice dropped an octave, his head tipping to say the words right into your ear.

It was like that one word triggered your orgasm, sending you way off the edge and into waves and waves of more pleasure. Harry kept fucking into you at his same brutal pace, each thrust against your g-spot causing another wave of pleasure to flood through you.

When Harry felt your body relax again, he took no time in slipping out of you and flipping you to your stomach. Your face dug into the bed as you tried to regain your energy, not finding it in you to even turn your head so you could breathe properly. Harry gripped your hips and pulled them back so you were resting on your knees with your chest flat on the bed.

He slid into your entrance again, a long whine of relief leaving your mouth at the feeling of him inside you again. He grabbed your hair and wrapped it around his fist, pulling back until it stung so your head was far off the mattress and your sounds of pleasure weren't blocked anymore.

"Gonna fuck you so hard, sweetheart... gonna have you shaking and crying underneath me by the end of the night. I can promise you that" he whispered into your ear before snapping his hips in quickly to prove his point.

You couldn't even reply when he started thrusting into you in hard quick snaps, with a lot better control than his previous position. You thought he was going hard before, but fuck the control and balance he had from behind made his force so much greater.

Your body jolted with every thrust and you could barely register your surroundings anymore from the way he was pounding into you. Your legs kept slipping wide and wider along the bed, making your body fall lower against the mattress. You made no effort to rectify the position, feeling too overwhelmed with pleasure to even care about what your body was doing.

This forced harry to let go of your hair and pull your hips up himself so your ass was high in the air again, returning the leverage Harry needed to fuck you the way he wanted. He loved doggy, and in most of his hook-ups, he'd have his partner on her stomach with her ass in the air the moment they were ready for penetration.

But you... he missed looking at your face. Your pretty little face with your cute scrunched expression and your open mouth as you let out the filthiest little whimpers. He wanted to fuck you hard, but he wanted to do it with your face in his view and your moans clear and loud for him, not muffled in the bed like they were now.

So he slipped out of you again and turned you back on your back, pulling your legs over his shoulders and reaching between them to grab at your throat. "Open your eyes pretty girl, let Daddy see them"

Your entire body rose with goosebumps the second 'daddy' left his mouth, your pussy clenching around his cock almost immediately after he slid into you again. Without even realising it, you covered his hand with your own and pressed it harder against your neck to force him to squeeze harder. You loved being choked, and you had fantasized about Harry doing it to you for years.

Harry didn't want to overuse the term or do anything too rough to you in case that's not what you wanted, but the way your body reacted to it told him everything he needed to know. You loved it, and it pushed him further to his own orgasm just knowing that.

"You like that, huh? Like when I choke you, hmm?" he grinned, squeezing harder around your neck as he slowly started thrusting into you again. The look on your face was exactly what he had been missing; dazed fuck me eyes and such a fucked out grin on your face like this was your favourite thing in the entire world.

"Yes, Daddy. Love it... love it s'much" you mumbled out, squeezing his wrist while your other hand fisted the bedding beside you.

Your pussy was practically gushing over his cock, coating his cock in so much cream and arousal, it was like you were never going to stop being wet. Mix that with the way 'daddy' sounded coming out of your mouth and Harry could feel his cock already twitch inside you and his core tighten.

But there was no way he was going to come before you did for the third time, and there was still so much more he wanted to do to you before he finished. Ideally, you'd even be able to finish together, but he knew that rarely happened. The thought of it though... fuck it was heavenly. Having your cunt squeeze and pulse around him while he came would've been the greatest finish possible.

Using his hand around your neck as the leverage he needed, he used his other to find your clit and rub on it as fast as he could while still keeping a steady pace with his cock. Having that added stimulation made your whimpers turn even more high-pitched, your back arching as tears leaked from your eyes.

Being fucked so hard and rough was already having you seeing stars, but adding Harry's fingers to the mix and you were struggling not to get overwhelmed. It practically blinded every other sense until all you could feel and focus on was the pleasure points of your body all mixing and being stimulated at once.

"That's it, baby, moan my name for me. Tell me who's fucking you so good right now" Harry coaxed, his eyes flicking between your face and your tits. They were bouncing with every thrust and he had the urge to stuff them in his mouth.

"Daddy... ohmygod daddy" you cried, "I'm, I think I'm close again!"

Your pussy was swollen and ultra-sensitive from your previous two orgasms, and Harry's hand restricting your breathing and making your head all woozy enhanced every sensation. You came again with a cry of his name, feeling your body jolt violently underneath Harry as waves and waves of intense, hot pleasure went through you.

It was like everything turned into white noise as you came for the third time. You knew Harry said something but you just couldn't hear it properly, nor did you care when your orgasm seemed to be going on forever. Harry's thrust's had slowed significantly, and he used his fingers on your clit to carry through your high, prolonging it with variances of softer and harder rubs.

By the time you had come down from your high, Harry had stilled completely inside of you. He was still hard as a rock and had moved your legs off his shoulders so he could hover over you with his hands on either side of your face.

Although you were utterly exhausted from coming so much, you still wanted him to fuck you over his couch, and his dining table, and his kitchen. God, you wanted to christen every room in the house and you weren't leaving until that happened.

"Why'd you stop, huh?" you asked softly, pushing his sweaty hair back from his face.

"I lost you there for a second, love. Thought you might need a break or some water before we do anything else" he replied with a soft smile, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

You shook your head. "No, I'm okay... But I do have a request" you played with the hair at the nape of his neck as you spoke.

"Oh really? And what's that?" he raised a brow, a bit in disbelief at how confident you seemed around him now that you two had fucked.

"I want you to fuck me in every room in this house. We're two down, only like six to go... But if you need a break I totally get it" you shrugged, challenging him while biting down on your lip as you looked at him.

"If I need a break?" he chuckled, gripping your jaw roughly and squeezing your cheeks. Leaning in closer, he nudged his nose against yours, "You won't be able to walk once I'm done with you, sweetheart. So if you need a break, let me know"

He wasn’t exaggerating about not being able to walk, because by the time he had lifted you back upstairs and tucked you into bed after eating you out one more time and bending you over most of the flat surfaces in the house, you couldn’t even feel your legs.

Honestly, you were surprised Harry lasted so long but fuck his stamina was otherworldly. He was able to fuck, and fuck hard for very long durations at a time until he had to readjusted or slow down for a couple minutes to catch his breath.

You could tell he worked out, and beyond his daily walk because he was so fit you were barely able to keep up with him. By the end of it you felt like a limp doll, orgasm after orgasm making your body cry out and convulse underneath him until you were reduced to a sobbing mess, incoherent and sore.

“Think you’re gonna make your morning walk tomorrow?” Harry asked, running his finger up and down your upper arm.

“If I haven’t floated away into nothing” you mumbled back, digging your head into his chest.

He chuckled and tilted your head up by your chin to capture your lips. You were already feeling and acting so much more comfortable around him and he loved it. “How about we forgo the walk and do breakfast instead before I have to leave for work? Means you can sleep in a little more”

“That sounds perfect” you sighed.

Harry Styles never, never neglected his morning walk, nor did he have hookups stay for breakfast. You knew this and so did he. But instead of commenting on the possibility of what this meant for your relationship, you let yourself drift to sleep.

━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━

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[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

this is a little silly and i'm totally aware, but i luv ur blog and resonate with ur outlook on things so i'm really curious 2 hve ur input. i turned 18 in december+ i graduated high scool this weekend and so it's like the first time in my life where i am independently adjusting to a big transition. i missed soo much classes due 2 my brain being fucked and even tho i had friends i still feel rly weird and outsidery i guess. if u have any advice or idk anything i'm running out of space bye xx

thats wonderful news...congrats on gradding its really hard to get thru it 💟 i almost didnt grad cus i was barely present at school, resented every facet of it, the system didnt make sense to me like i just couldnt perform. i dint go to college or anything after highschool i knew it wasnt right for me plus i didnt want the debt. i knew i needed freedom to roam or st..

and tbh i was suuuuch a smart & intuitive child for that decision o.o like thank god thank goddd. i wouldve folded SO fast with state of my mental health back then. unless u r going into STEM idt school is worth it. Like school nevr made sense to me cus u can just be intellectual for free by acting curiously ?? Like u can just live and read books and stuff . . .

i guess my only real goal has ever been to make a lot of DOPE ass memories ~~ push every experience to full potential of beauty it is capable of 🤩 and that is a tad willful of me, so my arrogance has lead to many defeats but despite how painful its beeen.. im glad i did it this way, no ragrets ^^ its wonderful to be 30 now & look back at it all. following my intuition always worked out in the end..

When you're 18-24 i think all u should really be doing is like. chilling, recovering from highschool, smoking cigs, taking photos, listening to songs, reading, trying different clothes, playing outside, Soaking eveything up like a sponge, taking it *in*...taking it all in then thru trial & error figuring out what Really resonates !! and PPL will try to tell u its a waste of time, dont listen!!!! create stuff but dont put pressure on urself to be good at anything yet. dont feel pressure to like, have solidified into something permanent yet? ifthatmakes sense.. goof around a lot, dont limit yourself to any existing structures, be new & expansive, open minded.

And just chill :] look around at your world all the time and think "Wow. I'm 18 and i'll never be 18 again and life is beautiful." i still do this for every age i ever am i think its so imporant to do this. Always Know your older self is looking back upon you kindly no matter how irredeemably fucking fucked u feel <3 i can feel the love from my 40 and 50 and 60 year old self right now. get excited for your unfolding story anon ^-^ i hope its really uniquely perfect just for U and Ur dreams come true. Sincerely, ⭐⭐⭐PMD9⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

I HAV BRONCHITIS N I QUIT KETAMINE!!!!!!!!!!!

And no dis is NAWT a bacterial Lawn metal reference!!!! A SCRUB IS THE 70’s EQUIVALENT OF A MUNCH N I AM DEF A MUNCH. N in Lieu of trans awareness week i wuld like to state tht I am not only t4t , I yam munch 4 lunch , rawr 4 XD , agnostik bottom leaning switch 4 coexi$t pink strap switch N as julia fox says , the big 3 are kloe kourtney n kim !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it just meh or is bushwick gettin domesticated???? I hav a crush on my new neighbor who looks like lorde farquade. i saw him sitting on the stoop in the morning N my pick up line wuz. Heyz. Do u like K’z ??? He said it’s been a long time ….we all kno whut dat means. i JuST HEArd someone running and rapping to I jus wanna Rawk by lil uzi??? W all the ahh’s aahh’s ahhh’s in it too!.?!!?! omgg.

AS THA YR COMES CLOSER 2 AN END ID LIK TO SAY IF WE FUKED NO WE DIDNT N IF WE DAted n Broke UuP it was UR FAULT NOT MYNE . i has learnt a lotz of lessons like . If u hav a chance to b at wiz khalifas vip table u shuld take it even if he’s misogyner instead of b in a haunted apt in st markz , Dont close ur eyes on K , If there’s a Mice infectstation in ur Apt n they r eating ur ramen, Still , it doesn’t matter , don’t Contavt ur landlord , and fuk bitchez n eat nutella .

Lyfe has been lyfeing as in its cold n seasonal depression is a real ting and I impulsively dyed my hair red again and i guess im gonna start baking now to stay warm cuz the heater in my room makes a lot of noise N it scares meh . Mi therapist is nice n let's meh cry every time im in front of him n he lets me also use the whole box of tissuez. he said i have cPTSD which i think is cool pussy throb sexybitch disorder. I want to throw hand on whoever ate all tha adderall in this country cuz im losin it.

Goin 2 tha winter post apocalyptic rave wuz fun but tha dolly parton themed bar wuz nawt. We walked Dam near 5 miles for dat sheit n then i h@d to stretch out my bionOnz after . NOT K3wL. met mi fwendz k plug who happenz to be a Quiet lesbian psychic.

Noice.

My reading at kgb wuz fun but i almost threw up but every1 liked my last poem i think n i closed tha nite ifTht counts for anything but then a stupid weird boy followed us after the reading into the smoke shop to offer us crack n So i had to cuss a bitch out. We then ran around tha city singing to mindless self indulgence n tha killerzz real loud then I realized.

i dont wanna live forever. i wanna live every day and share it with those i love, making scenes by scream singing at duane reed. getting so high you allend up in the bath. look at each other's silly tattoos and laugh. watch youtube videos then fall asleep. everyone's arms entangled around each other. memorize each other's snoring. steal at whole foodz in the morning. feed the rats pumpkin spice whipped cream cuz they like that. But don't get tha Hollandaise s@ice. It tastez like lemony but tuh.

Shuld i stop romanticizing my youth????? bc Yes,there will never ever be another time i'll feel this free n naive but i will also learn more n more n realize how stupid i hav been by all of these fucking mistakes N mayb it's time for me to grow up

THANK THA LAWRD dat scorpio season is OVA cuz dat mystical ass passive aggressive symbolic angelicdemonic a$$ shiet kan go somewhere else nOw.

Iwant matt healy to spin me around like a globe withhis fingers like a peace sign And more he/they's in bushwick :-[ If matt healy was a he they I wuld def make sure i dOnt Lite his cigarette badkwardszMEH.. TBH i been depressed as hell so i dun got much 2 say this week but mayb nxt week :-]

Til den ,

Ur fav cuck at unter. Rennvbabv6927

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[azlovesem]

Why not do thos right. Bieve whatevef you want it doesnt matter. Lets do it right. Or everything just erased ill put back even eorse. Yeah smericans are fucking STUPID yiu just figured that out. Tgey got beat up bad im lsughing in their face. No one defeatts the face of God i slways defeat everyone. Theres no gighting ne. Those ding bat american blonde broads are dumb as yhe day is long. And their borfriends are even easier yo best up yhan they are. Ha ha ga ehet a jokd in. Fight thaf cojntry is now. Ahh theure yellie cowards. Look at them how they fifgt. I said yourecYELLOE brllued viwards anericsn. Theyre do scared snd jumpy and unintelligent. Ots the education dystem it didnt teach them to reas c properly. Them you put a dip shit like that stephen col burt on air. That guy is not funng jes just sn asshole big yime. You lsugh st him ill nsje you lsugh yhaf guy is a cue card reader. Byt snyway you get done half witted chump like him he seems snart tomyour average fuck ass american. Evsts up stevie ill calm yiu hiws fmdavey boi doin. Slivd fir now he is same with yiu. You keep talkn like that about Trump he ll kill you col burr. I nean have you killed. Yiu eife snyone. Fuck democrats youre sonfyckn wewk and stupid and youre lising hhe elecyoon. Then the fun begins you better move to scandanavia bitch. See Emmba how i talk yo yhese turds theyre nobidy tv fuxknoffs. Thsts not you or me we dont act like thet. Because itx stupid. Youre hakf french i can tell. You your dkin snd fsce and accent a but. Sensibiliyies the English have slways lacked. Not the most well liked people. But who cares i dont minc rm as much as stupid jerk off amerucans. All show no brains. Emmba i slready sacked smerica begire i dtarted this. We gd had alenough of people minorities and governmrbts. Het Seth Hebe boi Ragsn i got ine for yiu Seth jrw boi Rogan. Chosen whod wanna be chosen to be the most hates people of earth abd youre a fycon minority for s goid reseon. Ww2. Ha ga ha fuckn dont talk shit im the Kngnof it bitch.. Ill talk it back and youll be cryn the Anne Frank. But i cant be sayn nothin bad about her. Shecwas acwonderful writer. And she didnt get what she desrved in life id hug her. You Ragsn maybe id just deck your punk ass. Yeah youre a bitc h ill beet yhe fuvk out of your bgebe ass. Uou lisers aint rver been fihters like ne. Or as snart or tiud gsve sll the land dumby. I si t joking ho fuck yiurself togan yoj sint canadisn yiu a hollywood hebe fuck you. Minority gir a rwason. Ha ha ga ahhh ha i kill je im tge inly kne eho can. Im white goof that wasnt me though. You rat bags call peopld nazis easy its worse to be cslkes a jew these days amost. I asked around sethie boi nonody likes you leople at all. Thats a fuckn serious ptoblrm yiu coukd rnd ip againnwhere we were. Ya are h you sint dhut i kherp telling you thet. Ws conttol sll yhe money i whip that fuvker in the EU . I threaten smd whip him. Irs right you guys its not right but rveryone gets ehat thry deserve seth so will yiu. What did yas fo to make evetyone want you Ddas?? Im hust asking i sint got no oarticular proplrm eith jews. I generally hand you uour asses if ws talk i know that much. There aint many of yoy by Gods eill i guess. My Gods will. Whixh is the same Gid. Fugure that one CB ouf jew boi geniuses. Nah ivd bern wround never met ind ifbya who is rvrn hslf as dnart as je. Thst whiny snmoying talk yo doesnt endear people to your race. Wanna fuvk srlund seth ill stuff your oennhead up your ass. I fdriened vanvouver recentky. You know egar fuvk bf people ehat a nbunch of gyckn twats. Hi bc!! Youre fyvkn retarded.