#like beijgn an adult with a speehc disorder that mzkes it hardf or others to understaND wgta your saying is hell on earth because

[emo-is-sexy]

i wish that i wasnt a girl and was sometjing else sometimes because as i have gotten older the constnant reminders and knowledge that there are people who see me as automatically less deservinf of rights and human just becauseni have a fucking vagina and uterus and ugly fjvking tits has eaten me alive from the insdoe it hruts so badly like the constna t thought that a s i go about my day in public there are people around me who see me as less than human and as just my genitals has destroted me i fucking jate it hi hate uit so much ot makes me feel so horrible and ,akes me contemplate suicid e because i will never be seen as equal especially becajse o am not really attratctyed to men and i am not attarcted to masculinity at all and i dont conform to stereotypical beauty standards for women my age so i a, , m basically seen as useless and expendable it hirts so bad i constantlty think about it it makes mr want to just stay in my room and never leabe i wisj i wasn not a woman and it is just adeed onto by the fact that i ajm on the spectrim and a,m profoundlt mentally unwell i ahte it i am seen by evryuone around me as inhuman and intentiojslly ignored it hurts so bad knowing that everyone who irl has been a formwr classmate of mine or people who habe been friends or known me at certain times see me as stupid and embarassing and my 4existence as cringeworthy has destroyef me i cnt stop thinking about it i fukving hate having to be alivr and be percieved ad the way that it will never end no matter how hard i try to be normal and shrink away from everybidy i cant cha mge the perceptiomns of eho i am to them. what is the point of living anf going on with life if you conciously know tjat everyone around you degrades ypu in their mind like tis so muych more than just being a woman its that i am an autistivc woman with speech impediments and tongue thrust which has permanentlym warped my facial structure and way i speak and breathe and to some thst seems like an unneeded detaiul but i feel like its nneed ed because i am not just a shy awkward girl but insteaf a girl whos very existence is seen as embarassing bhy many. people are very cruel when you are diffrernt in any way but especially when just by appearance and how you carry yourself they see you as inhuman or frankly rheu assume you are too stupid or socially unaware to undrrstand how your very existence is a joke to them and that they are constantlt making fun of you. the sad part i st hat i didnt understamnd. i never understood. because i WAS unaware. that alwaysnhurt the most. because they werent even wrong. makes me just want to dissapear and go missing and never come back