#didn't mean to write that much lol
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
yk I don't fully understand why people always say "listen to real queer artists instead of acting like Taylor is one" which is all in all just a not so good take bc you are instantly diminishing all the work Taylor has done to queercode her music, to add tiny bits of queer history into her lyrics and visuals to show us that she is queer. completely diminishing the fact that I, and most likely many others, learned about things that have no real place in todays modern world because of its "openness". (I can't be the only one who had no clue what a hairpin drop is before she sang about it)
but that's not the point I'm trying to make right now. the point I'm trying to illustrate is that most queer artists, are still small artists. they are individuals that rarely ever get played on the radio, and when they do it's one song that went viral on tiktok or whatever so it had gained enough streams online or enough sales ig so that the radio stations decided they'll play it.
I'm not saying don't support small queer artists, artists that (looking at our world right now) will never become mainstream because they are queer and they are writing explicitly queer songs.
and this goes past small artists. if we look at artists that came out after they had already been established, you can see a clear dent in their popularity.
Sam Smith was a big deal, even when they identified as a gay man, they were socially accepted. Their songs were played up and down, they were in the charts with every new album they dropped. but then they came out as non-binary and made an even more explicitly queer album and suddenly people acted like it was the devil's work.
Lil'nas'x had a break through with old town road, at that point most people didn't know he was gay. Then he dropped Montero as an explicitly queer man, stating his sexuality with an admirable amount of pride. But the only people that celebrated him, were queer people, and not even all of them.
Then we look at artists that have been in the game for longer. Look at Miley Cyrus, or Demi Lovato or hell, even Jojo Siva. All of them are constantly mislabeled by people or just straight up get their queerness ignored (especially Miley). They are also constantly being ridiculed, no matter if what they did was a bad thing or not. People always find things to hate.
So, my question is, why? Why do I have to want to need Taylor to come out just so you understand that her music is just as queer as her? Because we see very clearly what homophobia and worse so the blatant transphobia does to people in the industry.
There is no mistake that Taylor will have a dent in her popularity when it comes to most of her fanbase if she ever comes out, simply because these people are homophobic as hell. And we all know it, we see it every day in our inboxes, in comment sections, in posts that get mistagged on purpose. And you'd be a fool to think she doesn't see it. Because if she didn't, she'd just fool herself.
In conclusion, do listen to queer artists, elevate their voices, but don't forget about how many people are still residing in the closet because they fear it's gonna be the end of their career. closeted queers are still queer!
#gaylor#kaylor#taylor swift#didn't mean to write that much lol#idk if this even makes sense to anyone but me
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stop fighting me and together, let us fight them.
#ropedit#tropedit#rop spoilers#rings of power#the rings of power#ringsofpowerdaily#ringsofpowersource#halbrand#galadriel#sauron#isildur#estrid#haladriel#rop s1#rop s2#rop 1x05#rop 2x04#parallels#quote#*#isildur with the reassuring response trying to overcome estrid's attempt at distancing herself#galadriel and halbrandron meanwhile on a whole other path of feeling cast out together and relating through that#(i didn't include the brimby scene when sauron is like “she cast me out when she discovered the truth” bc it didn't fit the vibe of the set#(but that's the endpoint of manipulation and using shared ostracization as a means of us vs the world)#(in a way i wonder if galadriel planted that idea in sauron's head since she's the one who first roped him into a 'partnership')#(how much of an actual one is up to interpretation)#(brimby isn't head first running towards a suspect individual like galadriel did (lbr) he's just pure and utter confusion)#(complete good faith like yeah okay i'll receive you with an open heart my friend why would anyone cast you out idgi)#(i could write an essay clearly i'm thinking about this way too much lol)
367 notes
·
View notes
Text
Clone^2 - Separation Strikes
"Why do I have to go?" Damian asks, surly and accent-thick, it sounds more like a demand and a whine at the same time. Sitting on the kitchen table with his arms crossed, in a green t-shirt that Danny bought him at a whim when he was at a thrift shop, and black shorts, he's never looked more like a kid. There's a little backpack leaning against the table leg, Damian begrudgingly picked it out when they went shopping.
His English has grown in leaps and bounds since Danny found him -- er, or more accurately; since Damian was spat out in front of him. -- and very little did they have to use the translator on Danny's phone these days.
Which meant one thing: Damian can start attending school comfortably now. And 'go' was the Amity Smiles Child Care Center. Danny and Jazz went as kids until they were twelve, and Mom and Dad actually managed to convince the center director to let Damian enroll for the summer.
And it was summer; Damian starts today.
"Because," Danny says, trying and failing to hide the smile pulling on his face, his heart warm and soft, and also laughing at Damian's expense; "being cooped up in the house all day isn't good for you, and you're starting school in the Fall. And, in Jazz's words: you need to have interactions with other kids your age for the benefit of your social development. And besides, it's only for the morning."
Damian's nose scrunches up, and his eyes roll so violently that for a moment, Danny thinks about joking that he'll get his eyes stuck like that. He holds his tongue; his little brother already looks like he's five seconds away from committing an act of violence.
"I don't need social interaction." Damian sneers, his cheek in his hand; a neverend pool of pride. "I am--"
"The Blood of the Demon Heir, better than everyone else." Danny cuts off, waving his hand in dismissive circles, his voice mockingly deep. Damian's brown skin darkens in embarrassment, and he scowls at Danny. "I know, bud. But Jazz is right, -- don't tell her I said that, -- you should be around kids your age."
Especially when he starts First Grade in the Fall. Honestly -- Danny was a little nervous to send him to the center. Damian's long since cut the habit of trying to kill or otherwise maim people, his palms ache-burn with gentle reminder, but his tongue was as sharp and as cutting as his sword. He still struggles with trying to quell it when he's upset. Vicious child-weapon that he once was, and will never be again.
Danny knows that it comes from a place of fear and defense, that Damian lashes out because that's what he's been taught. That at the end of the day, he doesn't really mean what he says, and he's learning to express himself better. But the other kids don't know that, and kids can be unforgiving and cruel.
Danny just...
His slow beating heart sighs, melancholy settles behind his lungs.
He doesn't want Damian to be outcasted. He doesn't want him to be alone.
Not like he was.
Damian sneers again, but says nothing, his shoulders crawling up to hide his ears like a turtle receding into his shell. Danny watches him silently, leaning against the kitchen counter with his own arms crossed. The clock hanging on the wall ticks in their ears -- it's almost time to go.
He watches Damian, careful, and so he sees it when his little brother's stone-shell pride and petulance shudders, and cracks. The darkened furrow of Damian's brows weakens, and for a moment, slants back.
Ah, Danny thinks, his own shoulders slumping. Epiphany washes over him, and his sad-heart soothes in warm understanding. So that's what it is.
His head tilts, and his hair spills over his shoulders, messy and fluffy, tickling his neck. Some of his bangs fall into his face. "Hal 'ant easabiatan ya habibi?" He asks, voice low and soft. Just as Damian's English has improved, so has Danny's Arabic. He still stumbles over himself some days, and Damian says his accent is trash, but they can have whole conversations now in Damian's mothertongue.
(Danny was incredibly proud of himself for it.)
Damian's face darkens, his blush spreading across the rest of his face, and he ducks his head down. Grown-out curls, black-brown and springy, falls over his eyes. "La!" He yells, loud and indignant, and not at all convincingly. "La 'asheur bialtawaturi!"
He was nervous. Danny can see it now, in the hunch of his shoulders and the tightness of his face, and faintly, he can feel it too. In the ecto-rich air of the Fentonworks House, it thrums, barely-there, like a hummingbird behind his lungs.
Danny can't stop the little, fond smile that forces itself across his lips and upticks the corner of his mouth. "It's okay to be nervous, little brother." He says, he sounds like Jazz when he says that. He doesn't think she'll mind him borrowing the nickname.
He pushes himself off the counter, and Damian refuses to look at him, hiding behind his hair and in his shoulders. It takes three long strides for him to reach the table, and Danny turns, plants his hands on the ledge, and hoists himself up. Right next to Damian.
Damian leans into him easily when Danny's arm wraps around his shoulders and tucks him close to his heart. He can feel his ear against his ribs. Danny hunches over him, resting his chin on Damian's head. "It's so okay to be nervous, actually. I was nervous, Jazz was nervous." He tells him, scratching the blunt edge of his nails across his scalp. "Everyone gets nervous."
"'Ana last aljumiea." Damian mumbles, as small and feeble as he was the night on the OPS Center balcony, realizing that his mom and the League weren't coming for him. Realizing that he was replaceable.
Danny's half-working heart squeezes; in grief, in rage, and his faucet eyes sting. He breathes in carefully, and presses his nose into Damian's hair in a loving faux-kiss. "You're right, you're not everyone." He says, steady and strong, because if he's not a pillar for his family, who else is he?
He can feel Damian's eyes flick up to him, and Danny smiles into his black-brown curls. Tilts his head to squish his cheek against him instead, hand dropping to thumb below Damian's lashes. "You're Damian Fenton," Because the adoption went through a few weeks ago, and he's still riding that high, "You're my baby brother. O' Artist Extraordinaire, Kickass with a Sword, Vegetarian and Wonderful Co-Ghost Hunter."
Damian tries to stifle a smile, and fails. Score! Triumph gathers in Danny's gut, his smile grows wider. He squeezes Damian tight, and only releases him so he can look him in the eyes. "And if anyone gives you a hard time at school, and I mean anyone--"
Danny has bad memories of the teachers looking the other way when the other kids were bullying him, all because he was a Fenton.
And Danny, bleeding heart, bleeding hands, loves his family more than he will ever love himself, will never let Damian experience the same injustice. Not if he can help it.
His eyes narrow, and the buzzy-film of ectoplasm covers his eyes, making them glow, "--You tell me. And as your awesome great big brother-and-technically-dad-but-only-biologically, I will handle it."
Damian, wonderfully made, full of light, his little brother Damian, giggles weakly at him. A sound that's worth it's weight in gold. The scary eyes dissipate, and Danny matches the sound with a cock-eyed, impish grin, dragging Damian into a soul-crushing, too-tight hug. The kind that only annoying older brothers can give. "Got it?"
That gets a proper, if short, laugh out of Damian. He wriggles in Danny's arms, trying to break free. But Danny does calisthenics, his arms are as big as Damian's head, so it doesn't work. "Understood, now, daeni 'adhhab ya 'akhi!"
Danny laughs, loud and bright, and loosens his hold just a smidge, only so he can adjust his grip and hop off the table with Damian still in arm.
"Never!" He crows, hoisting Damian slightly. One eye flick at the clock, and in one quick move, he secures Damian under one arm like a football, and hooks his foot under the strap of his backpack. Kicking it up, he tosses it into the air and catches it with his free hand, and slings it over his shoulder. "Now, to the car, my boy! Before we're late and Mom and Dad get charged."
Damian groans, childish and dramatic and long, but his face is all squished up with a wide grin and glee. Danny can taste his joy beneath his tongue.
"And, if my little pep talk didn't encourage you," He says, reaching the door to the garage, flipping Damian up onto his hip instead. "If you have a good day today, I'll make you bal mithai when you get back."
Like all kids at the promise of sweets, Damian's eyes widen and glitter. Danny loves seeing Damian be a kid, it's his favorite thing in the world. "I will!"
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc fic#dpxdc ficlet#clone^2#clone danny fenton#MAN I LOVE THIS AU SM#clone danny#danny fenton is a clone#i lomv. them :((( SO MUCH. I'VE MISSED WRITING THEM. i had this idea since talking to purple-goo-writes abt clone danny last week#they mean everything to me. they are the brothers ever. so family coded. don't ask me about the timeline here it doesnt exist#its post-danny's hands getting permanently fucked up and thats it lol.#parent danny is great but 'big brother danny' is SO fucking fun to write. he's silly and goofy and annoying in the way only siblings are#smth about writing danny being so full of love and kindness and protective compassion. bleeding heart that he is. its like doing cocaine#chaotic danny is SO fun and silly but kIND danny is. holy shit its better than getting high. altho ive never been high so i can only guess#there's just smth addictive in writing him being affectionate and loving and caring. he's heartful and heart full.#he's sweet - not like sugar - but like caramel. fulfilling and chewy. a kindness that gets stuck in your teeth and melts on your tongue#he's such an annoying older brother. i love him#bal mithai is a type of pakistani dessert btw. since Nanda Parbat is based off the mountain nanga parbat which is in pakistan. i figured#that the food damian had in the league might've been pakistani-based. or at least heavily pakistani in orign. maybe. i just didn't wanna#look up 'arabic desserts' and pick the first one off the list. felt inauthentic that way alsdh#translations since you wont get it through google translate:#1. 'are you nervous beloved?' 2. 'no! I am not nervous!' 3. 'I'm not everyone' 4. 'let me go brother!'#while i dont usually use 'little brother' or 'brother' as terms of endearments between siblings. Jazz canonically calls Danny that and#i figured if i worded it in a way that sounded natural. it would sound less soul-crushingly cringy. look as someone wit THREE siblings.#i know exactly how siblings interact with one another. but this felt like a special exception. they don't say it often
236 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#𓄿#hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this#i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything#i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha#i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass#and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭#i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise'#also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just#couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah#also uhhh this data is very subjective#i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call#also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them)#but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly#so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance#i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!!#but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol
784 notes
·
View notes
Text
A little love letter to Din Djarin writers... 🤍
I love that some of you write him as soft and gentle while others focus on the darker, harsher parts of his personality. I love that he can be both a quiet, kind man caring for his child or an intimidating, terrifying bounty hunter who is a lean, mean killing machine... depending on what the fic warrants.
I love how you write him with other characters from The Mandalorian or even with those who would never cross paths with him in canon, from Star Wars or elsewhere. I love how you write him interacting with yourselves and us, and some of you even create your own original characters to exist a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away alongside him.
I love that some of you ship him with that one other special person, while others recognise how desirable he is and ship alllllll the ships. Not forgetting those of you which are here for none of those ships and/or even headcanon him as ace. I love that any of those options allow you to explore your own identities and sexualities through him.
I love that you can write the most tooth-rotting fluff or filthiest smut, and all of those things in between. Whether it's for general audiences or explicit and strictly 18+ ... all of your fics have an audience and someone out there who appreciates your writing.
I love how differently you can interpret him, but there are also so many common themes and tropes running through your writing. I love that there is room for all of your Dins here.
I love that he means so much to you and that all of us here hold him in our hearts a little bit. I love that we can all watch the same episodes and come to entirely different conclusions about him. I love how much we love him.
Getting to be a part of this wonderful community and interact with so many people who love the space tin can man as much as I do has truly been one of the best things that happened to me recently. I'm so glad I made this little blog... It reminded me just how good fandom can be. I am blown away by the number of talented people here!
So, I just wanted to take a moment to express some gratitude towards all of you! Thank you for writing your Dins and please don't ever stop. Finally.... last, but not least:
I love Din Djarin!!!
#din djarin#the mandalorian#din djarin fanfic#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin x reader#the mandalorian fanfiction#i got a uhhhh not nice anon a couple of days ago lol and i'm not posting it here (truly speaking to the wall) but i didn't want to dwell on#that and instead spread some love around!!! because anyone who is brave enough to put their writing out there is amazing to me#and especially a character as well known and beloved as din... that's far more impressive than sending anon bs lol#anyway i truly mean it i don't read as much as i'd like to because my brain can't take it when i'm focused on my own stuff sometimes but#you all ROCK and i don't want anyone to ever feel like they don't or their din is 'wrong' or OOC bc truly only favreau writes him#100% in character bc he made him lmao. all fanfic is by definition ooc BUT THATS another rant for another time
251 notes
·
View notes
Note
SAN
san.
san and his presence. san and the fierceness in his gaze, the emotions on his face when he expresses himself on stage. san and his princely outfits and manners. san and his sharp eyes that curve beautifully when he smiles. san and his smile that changes everything about him. san and his voice- the honey that drips from his voice that is music to our ears. san and his cute laugh. san and his hair! san and his damned abs btw (i miss his twink era ngl lmao). choi san. the performer. the artist.
also just san being the most photogenic person i've ever seen man literally exists and is automatically the most handsome person i've ever laid eyes on. truly beautiful, and i think everyone's first love :')
#first love as in the person who catches our eyes instantly#he has such a magnetic presence istg#also god really has his favs huh look at how san's carved#perfection#8/8 ateez done#anon thank you so much for this#i didn't mean to be this poetic when you dropped the 1st ones but like#you can see my writing progress with each ask LOL#wish i could redo hwa's LMAO that one was literally head empty no thoughts just parkseonghwa#choi san#ateez san#ateez#yumi.asks
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay but have y'all considered
obi-wan kenobi
#obi wan kenobi#have you considered. HIM.#that's it that's the post#thank you for coming to my ted talk#listen if you told me ten years ago that i'd be completely utterly obsessed with a star wars character i would've laughed in your face#i had. very complicated feelings about star wars in high school#(ie. we played it in orchestra and it was so terrible that i couldn't bring myself to listen to any of the soundtrack afterwards)#and now i'm like. obi-wan is so central to my life#which sounds ridiculous out of context but it just makes so much sense for me#anyways didn't mean to write an essay in the tags#i'm gonna shut up now#except i'll never shut up about obi-wan LOL#*drops mic*
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to brag, but my therapist told me today that i did incredible during our emdr session, which means i get an A for the day in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve 🙂↕️😌
#not snz#literally said out loud to her “does that mean i get an a in therapy” which i assume we'll discuss at a later date lmao#random snz related thing tho#i told her today i used to hide the fact that i was sick as a child bc i didnt want to be a burden#and she was like wow. that's really serious#and i was like tbh i didn't think it was that big a deal until you said that LMAO#i hid everything!!! emotions are Bad To Show!!!#i just love her bc she doesnt mince words haha#did you guys hide the fact that you were sick as a kid? and not for like fetishy reasons#for like i dont want to bother anyone reasons#im sure im not alone there#anywayyyy#i promise im working on a story. its a mark story and he amd i are v similar so its been difficult to write#but itll hopefully be up by Friday#ive spent so much time on it and honestly i dont even like it but#its going out one way or another#i never spend this much time on one story idk whats going on#we'll see if anyone enjoys it!!#thats it for the novel in the tags if ya made it this far hi thanks for being part of my second therapy session of the day#aka the tags of a rando tumblr post lol
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
I can’t remember if we are allowed to pick multiple (if not I’m sorry but take my appreciation for you anyway 💖) but could I possibly have some vampdrew? I love it so so much and the way you write his thoughts is such an interesting take. His interactions with the others changed by his vampiric attributes and his relationships with the others is very intriguing and I love it)
WIP Wednesday (6/19) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 144)
Kevin turns over his wrist, rubs his finger along that soft skin. He knows his blood quells Andrew’s hunger the best. Keeps him full the longest. But he can’t make Andrew drink if he doesn’t want to. Their deal is for Saturdays and Andrew will not budge at all on that, the stubborn idiot.
With a sigh Kevin twists Andrew’s ring on his thumb, remembering how badly he was affected by the barely-there blood of torn cuticles. He wonders… If he were to cut himself, would Andrew give into the temptation and drink—
“Do not!” Andrew shouts from the bedroom. Kevin freezes, fingers still messing with the ring. And the others share a look.
“Don’t what?” Nicky calls.
‘I wasn’t going to—’ Kevin thinks, cut off when the bedroom door swings open. Suddenly Andrew is there with glowing eyes and a finger pointed at him.
“I mean it, Day,” He says, clearly pissed off. “If you try it, I’ll throw Nicky out the window.”
“Hey! What the fuck? Why me?” Nicky says, throwing his hands up. Everyone ignores him to stare at the threat-making vampire.
“Say you won’t.”
“Won’t what?” asks Aaron.
Kevin looks down at the floor. ‘I won’t. It was just—’
#ah i didn't specify so i'll allow it <3#thank you sooo much for the comment <3333#i love writing vampdrew because of how his Condition alters his perception of his friends/family!#it's really nice to peel back the twins' mutual resentment and make them more like siblings than enemies. i love letting andrew in kevin's#head (though... that isn't going so well for them right now lol)#anyway!! thank you it means a lot<3#andreil#aftg#Vampire Andrew AU#WIP Wednesday#🕊️#answered#ashestoashes7
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Auxiliary, my mirror AU of my wonderful mutual & friend Kapsel’s inspired by this post is out!
“If you killed Ian Rider, I’ll kill you. Or you can point me to the right person, and I’ll kill them instead.” Yassen resists the urge to sigh. There are days when he wishes that he had run back to Russia, disappeared into its unforgiving winters and buried himself into Moscow’s streets, and today is not a day he expected to feel such a thing.
It does not take much for Alex Rider's life to fall apart in his hands. He copes, wheedling information about his late uncle and pretending to be fine with the missions MI6 sends him on. Now, if only that one Russian assassin would stop preventing him from taking revenge on his uncle's murderer...
#alex rider#yassen gregorovich#john crawley#my fics#plot bunny spinoffs#the longest chapter i've written in my life holy#and i still have more to write for the second chap lol#swear on my life i didn't mean for crawley to appear for SO LONG#much thanks to kapsel for bearing with me for so long
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Unnecessary discussion about Chat Noir and the Drums
There’s something I love so much about Chat playing the drums in Horrificator. This is something that’s been on my mind since I was 13, so hold on here.
First, obviously, Adrien also plays the piano - which obviously still has a lot of meaning!! - I’m not here to diss on the piano, there’s a lot of freedom of expression in every instrument type and music expression in general, but there’s a reason why some people are more inclined to different instruments, and I think there’s a lot more to it than just sound, but feeling as well. The role you play. How it feels to play it alone vs. playing it with others, if it’s typically something that you can play alone vs. in a group.
So first, the piano, and how I think it relates to Adrien’s character, plus how it relates to those points.
The piano, let’s be real, is something that a lot of us were forced to take lessons for at some point. It’s something that has ties to high society (there’s a HUGE discussion and so much more to say about that, but let’s not go there) and honestly?? I think it works pretty well with symbolizing the obsession with perfection that Gabriel shoves onto him. I’ve known many piano players, and while some genuinely loved playing it, it was always easier to somehow stumble onto someone with a deep hatred for it after being forced into lessons. Whenever I asked them why they hated it, I got almost the same answer every time: “I need to be perfect.” (Along with people saying that they were forced to lol)
Then there’s the role you play. You can play with people in a band, an orchestra, as an accompanist, a duet, at a bar with a bunch of people singing - whatever - music has many forms, and many different connections. But the piano is something you can play solo, no need for anyone else. It isn’t what you can do with other people that I’m focusing on for this, it’s the fact that you don’t need anyone. You can play alone, and it’ll still be fine. You can be alone, and you’re still fine - perfect even - which is something that Gabriel shoves down his throat, resistant to him playing with his friends by touching on this ideology.
Which is a glimpse into how he sees Adrien, and how Adrien experiences life. He can be alone, in fact he’s more perfect when he’s alone. And when other people are added, the attention to his perfection is taken away bit by bit, until he’s not good enough. He has to play solo in concert halls, on stage for everyone to watch, not in the back of a bar, playing with his friends.
Alright, so now we move to Chat Noir and the drums. The main play of this fake essay.
It would be so easy to just ignore everything and just go “haha, he’s the energetic one, so ofc Ladybug gave him the drums! And they’re an easy instrument to play, etc.” but that’s far from the truth.
Ok, so I’m not a drum player or percussionist in any way, but I am a bass player, and genuinely love the drums so much because they’re incredibly important, and here’s my cheesy analogy: the drums are the heart of the band, keeping everyone on beat, it’s what you feel at the centre of it all. The band is nothing without the drums, without the percussion (The bass is what connects the band to the beat of the drums, kinda like the blood vessels, but sadly this ain’t about bass). Like do you know how easy it is for a band to fall apart if they don’t have a drummer??? You need a drummer. You literally can’t survive without a drummer, because even if you manage to work together, use the bass as a backing, whatever you try, there’s still not much of a heart left.
But besides that, do you know how hard it is to play the drums??? You can’t just throw someone crazy, or energetic there just because “crazy drummers lol” you need someone who listens. Who can set the beat. Someone you can rely on, because they are the person in control, even if they aren’t as flashy as the guitar player. Reliable is the word that comes to mind. The drums can make or break a band.
And wanna know who that reminds me of?
Yeah. I highly doubt that the writers put this much thought into a random five second scene in an episode of season one, but it fits with Chat Noir SO well.
Unlike the piano, the drums are almost solely played in a group setting - you need other people, and other people need you - he needs other people in his life, his friends are needed, but they also need him. Ladybug needs him, along with all the other heroes in Paris, whether he sees it or not. He seems to get in a state of thinking he’s not needed, but i do really think he’s the emotional glue that keeps the team connected, the heart that keeps them beating. If he’s isolated, he can’t quite reach his full potential that he can when he’s allowed to be around others, just like they can’t reach their own without him.
But on top of that, I think the stereotypes of the drums actually works in his favour for the next part.
Breaking free from his dad, and being his own person, letting that fame go and embracing what he wants... well, to some that would look stupid.
Relating it to music, the piano is flashy, you can play it solo, it sounds impressive, looks impressive, and people won’t think you’re just hitting pots and pans in the garage when you say you play it. But the drums are underestimated, a lot of people think you don’t need much practice, that they’re just the guys who sit at the back of the stage, not doing much, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Just like Adrien finally being who he wants wouldn’t be stupid, it could never be stupid, but there’s a stigma. But letting go of his flashy, solo life, and being the heart of his friend group is something that I think makes him truly happy as Chat Noir, and hopefully he gets to be like that as Adrien too.
Like Plagg said, Chat Noir and Adrien are both the real him, and I think the drums capture that perfectly. The heart and freedom, the meticulousness (rather than perfection) and steadiness, those are good qualities of a drummer.
I dunno, I just think it fits.
(sdfghjklkjhgf again I should state that acoustic versions of songs exist, and you can play songs without a drum and it sounds fantastic, but I’m not going into that today. Just talking generalization, and playing in a group setting).
#I hope I didn't sound like an absolute idiot#lol I don't wanna sound like Luka#this is just a subject I'm really passionate about and mixed with Miraculous it's just sdfghjjhgfd#miraculeakless#him playing drums is something that's probably never going to come up again ever#but in my mind Adrien healing means him taking up playing the drums and I've never dropped this#no really I wrote a fic when I was 14 about Adrien somehow disguising himself and being friends with people and he also took up the drums#I should find it and rewrite it lol#but here I am at 20 and my mind is still on this#and now I work with music as a job so I actually have the proper words to write it all down#miraculous ladybug#horrificator#can't believe I'm digging up a S1 episode but I needed to get these thoughts out#chat noir#adrien agreste#character study#uhhh sorry if this is unreadable#but I did not re-read this bc I spent too much time writing it and I don't feel like going through this again
226 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking again about how I really liked the moments Harry and Curt had with each other in the game - their interactions in the EMF scene above, the mission to try and save him at the abandoned zoo, etc. - but that I also wish that relationship had gotten more development onscreen, especially before everything goes wrong with the symbiote.
#xan's spidey meta#curt connors#harry osborn#they never interact in the comics#and they have so many interesting parallels in this game#especially when you remember the interview where they mention the lizard being curt's counterpart to the symbiote#even if they technically were referring to peter in that context#also the back and forth btw curt taking care of harry and harry trying to save him#and how that ends with curt being unable to save harry#and reluctantly having to accept that harry has to be killed to stop venom#and i'm sad we don't get his reaction to peter and miles stopping venom and saving harry#and i suspect he's not returning in the next game if harry has a new doctor in the ending#also just the interesting aspect of how norman plays into their relationship#and how curt has to take care of his son while being unable to care for his own#idk there are just so much interesting things to think about#even if their relationship wasn't as developed as it could have been#i didn't mean to write an entire essay in the tags#but here we are lol#insomniac spider man
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay what i meant when i said that even the copious amounts of blood didn't satiate me in particular is that the dead wife/nemesis thing was never something i was eager to see explored, just because i think it's something a lot of male characters get? to go through? the ooh i'm so tortured someone took something from me and now i can't help but turn into a monster while i'm on this quest for revenge and being smothered by grief ough i might kill them even or others in gruesome ways and then realize i'm still just as empty
because, i think men often feel the role they must take on as a man or as a father (especially the latter) is a burden, a huge one, where they aren't allowed to sit back or let go or forgive to their own and everyone else's detriment.. and i understand why there is demand for the same type of stories or story elements or arcs, and why they work, and this same overall theme can be present in a story where it's dealt with in an interesting way or where there's love and care involved in the writing process and the characters don't feel like "man pain machine #48" and "generic sensitive character who will cradle mr. man pain's bloody face in their hands (when we want to end this arc and show how good and lovable he actually is)"....
idk i'm just saying it's not even a specific problem i have with male characters that avenge their families or seem like they're defined by anger or by a traumatic event, i do think it can be written lazily and that we've seen it so many times it's a bit worn-out now, but i wouldn't be quick to generalize. it's just that, since we've seen this before (and that's partly why they poked a bit of fun at themselves when in rickmurai jack, rick's dead wife backstory was revealed).. to me it's one of the least interesting aspects of rick? and yet it's clearly important to the writers and they felt they had to tackle this part of his character, really emphasize his unfinished business, or treat it like something that must have a conclusion
for me though, rick's brand of fucked up and evil wasn't compelling because something deeply fucked up happened to him and there's a lot to deal with there and that's cool, it was more compelling to me (iirc) Before knowing much about his past. tbh. i recognized him already, he felt real, his worst side was familiar because a man doesn't need a whole event to become controlling and cruel when dealing with his family... social norms and umm systems sort of already operate within the framework of the patriarchy, i think it's built into our collective ideas of society, concepts of gender and family and the rules those come with.. i liked that about rick, that why he was an asshole wasn't detailed, there was no easy explanation for the way that he was, he just was. and every time they chose to drive home that rick's defined by losing his original family to his own alternate self and that he was still chasing this one guy, it was like, well i thought there were so many other components as well to why he turned out to be who he is. i liked it more when it was mundane, because that's what i see around me, that abuse is rather mundane. and i'm much more interested in the harm he's directly inflicted on his current family and how his past might affect his current life, what might haunt him. so i guess i never wanted prime to be taken care of, each week i find myself thinking that i just want it to be rick and morty and their messed up little relationship up close and personal again
#like‚ prime was cool‚ i liked what he said when he was getting beaten to a pulp i REALLY liked it. c-137 took his life‚ took his#family technically‚ that's interesting. he regenerates‚ we didn't see a body‚ he could totally be coming back‚ that's interesting#i'm just not all that interested in rick's revenge bc for example look at this episode. what did morty do‚ what did this mean for morty?#maybe i'm too mortybrained hxsgvy but i care about him so much it makes me sick i can't just switch it off.. lol...#felt like this could've been framed differently. i would've framed it differently‚ maybe de-center rick's abstract ideas of what's been#taken from him and who's at fault‚ center his ideas of what he has now and how far he's willing to go for his loved ones#i don't know i also wanted to see how r&m worked while hunting prime since rick promised to bring the kid into his darkness#so i was like omg REGRESSION? regression sweep? real animosity when? but we didn't see any of it. but we still might!! if prime's not#really out of the picture. so i won't write that off. i am inclined to forget about it tho and believe there will be no shared darkness#well i will see i'll see the whole season and then reevaluate#kata.txt#rnm
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
i can imagine you are quite busy and overall try to read everything more deeply, but still, it would be really really cool to dig your nails into umineko. reading umineko really highlighted orv's strong points, i can't wait to reread it. it's like two complementary pieces with them both deeply analysing the author and reader's relationship.
augh i read like 75% of umineko a couple of years ago and stopped for some reason! i think I was overwhelmed by the metaphysics of the story... but ive actually been considering giving it a reread! there are parts of it that have stuck with me a lot over the years and im a much more experienced reader now than i was then
#narrates#i read SUPER slowly now but i feel im better at digesting info. which means umineko may take me years to get thru#but i think a lot abt its depiction of an abusive wealthy family and in particular about rosa's character#she's a really fantastically done portrait of an abusive parent who came from an abusive background#i mean all of them are lol. but rosas writing depicted a lot of aspects of the abuse cycle in a way a lot of things don't manage to do#so I think about her a fair amount when discussing other abusive parent characters in fiction#a lot of uminekos other aspects didn't quite land for me first time round (I think mostly due to me not getting it)#but its character writing really got me a lot of the time. I remember loving how much time was spent fleshing everyone out#also beato is there and shes fun.
7 notes
·
View notes