#didn’t even bother checking this blogs inbox until this

[snaillock]

Ur so cool we love u pls don't die on a random Tuesday afternoon at exactly 4 PM in ur living room <3 kisses kisses

wait hold on hold on PAUSE 😭😭

[spectersgirl]

So like... truly not a single individual asked for even anything remotely this but I've had it sitting partially unfinished in my drafts since the day I started this blog. I'm debating turning it into like a 3ish part mini-series but please do let me know if you guys think I should just leave it alone or keep going! If I did continue this, know that future parts would be juicier and likely include a bit of angst as it would kind of work perfectly with a request I have in my inbox!

Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy :)

Something More

Harvey Specter x Reader

--------

You were in such a rush to get to work that you hadn’t bothered to check your phone until you were already on the train and headed to your office. If you had, maybe you would’ve put a bit more attention into your appearance on that particular day. Once you were in your seat, you finally pulled out your phone and noticed a rather… compelling message from none other than Harvey Specter. Your heart nearly beat out of your chest.

You’d very recently become a junior partner at the firm, which meant you’d be working just a bit more closely with him than when you were simply an associate. This thought both excited you and also freaked you out just a little. Harvey was the biggest of the big dogs in corporate law, and to say you weren't intimidated would simply be a lie.

The message Harvey had sent you was simple, as he didn’t tend to beat around the bush or waste any time when it came to much of anything.

“Come see me when you get in, I want to chat. Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. Oh, and there’s something waiting for you in your office.”

You pictured the smirk he had while typing out that message, knowing he'd made you nervous.

You fluffed up your hair a little and checked your lipgloss in the reflection of your front camera and before you knew it, you found yourself pressing the elevator button up to Pearson Specter, and clicking your heels as you walked to Harvey’s office. You decided to go straight there, wanting to get whatever this was out of the way. You paused when you reached Donna’s desk, unsure of whether or not you needed to check in with her first. You'd never been summoned to Harvey's office before.

“You can go right on in, hon. He already told me he’s expecting you.” She said with a slight smile, not even needing to look up from her screen to see who was there.

“H-how’d you know it was me?” You asked, visibly thrown off by her skill. You didn't have a ton of interaction with Donna when you were an associate, only here and there and you’d heard she was good at this type of thing, but damn.

She looked up and gave you the “Do you really have to ask me that” face.

“Right. Thanks, Donna” you said as you turned toward Harvey’s office, only slightly embarrassed.

You knocked on his door, which sat slightly ajar. He was reading from a file folder, but closed it when he saw you enter.

“She Donna’d you, didn’t she?” He asked with amusement present in his tone.

“That she did. But umm, you... wanted to see me?" Your stomach was doing flips, despite him saying you weren't in any trouble, you felt like you were anyway.

He smiled, gesturing at the seat in front of him at his desk. You cautiously sat down, your guard still up.

“I told you, you're not in trouble. You can relax, Y/N. I don't bite. I just wanted to congratulate you personally on making junior partner. I know we’ve never really crossed paths much since you started here, but I really look forward to getting to know you. From what I've heard, you do great work, Y/N. It definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by me, or any of the senior staff. You’re going to do great things here.” He said earnestly.

You were floored. Of anything you expected Harvey to call you into his office for, this wouldn’t have even cracked your top 20 guesses. Up until your promotion, you weren’t even confident he knew your name let alone knew about and recognized the hard work you constantly put in.

“O-oh! Really? Thank you! That means everything coming from you.” You replied.

"Of course 'really', I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." He said with a chuckle.

You relaxed your shoulders and sunk a tiny bit lower in your seat.

Harvey opened his mouth to say something else, but as he did, Donna poked her head in to let him know he had a call from a client.

You quickly stood up and smoothed your dress out.

“I’ll let you take that, but thank you again, Harvey. I really appreciate it.” You told him.

He smiled warmly and stood now, too, walking you the few feet to his doorway. You mentally noted how gentlemanly this was, saving the thought for later.

By the time you got to your office you had completely forgotten the other part of Harvey's message from earlier, that he had left something on your desk. Neatly placed in front of your laptop was the most beautiful bouquet of flowers you’d ever seen, and a stack of business cards, embossed with your name and the new title. A post-it note sat on top of them with “Congrats!” written in Harvey’s handwriting. You smiled widely. To you, even these cards meant more than you could possibly describe. They were a physical manifestation of all the hard work you'd put in, everything you'd gone through and overcame. As for the flowers, well, they definitely were a shock to you. You didn’t take Harvey as a flowers guy.

You settled into your desk chair, smiling down at the stack of cards before signing into your computer, and getting started on the slightly mountainous pile of work you had to take care of. With a promotion of course came more cases and harder work, but regardless, you were still glad to have been promoted.

You were deep in your laptop typing up a brief for one of your cases when you noticed a presence standing in your doorway.

“Oh, Harvey! Hey, sorry I was just in my head. I was going to come by earlier and thank you for the flowers and the cards. They’re beautiful”

Harvey grinned and nodded his head.

“Of course, you deserve them! Though I can’t exactly take credit for the floral arrangement… that was all Donna.”

“What can Donna not do?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for the last twelve years."

"Did I hear my name?" Donna said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and making Harvey nearly jump out of his skin.

You smiled brightly, greeting the redhead and thanking her for the flowers. She lit up and told you all about her florist, telling you she'd get you a business card asap.

As the week went on, you found yourself having more run-in's like this with Harvey than you'd had in the entirety of your employment at the firm. Surely it was a coincidence, or at least that's what you'd convinced yourself anyway.

The remaining Harvey-free parts of your week didn't nearly live up to how your first morning as a partner had gone. You had been hitting dead end after dead end in all your cases and nothing was going the way you'd planned. The deposition you had scheduled for Friday got moved, so at the very least, you were able to head home a little earlier than you planned. You were wrapping up and grabbing your coat when a knock on your office door made you jump, the tension from your rather hellish week still rattling you.

"Hey sorry to scare you, I just wanted to see how your first official week as a junior partner went?"

You huffed a sigh in response, not wanting to make a big deal out of the tough day that surely you'd get over.

Harvey chuckled at this.

"That bad, huh?"

"I'll be fine, I’ll get it figured out it’s just everything I tried to do went exactly the opposite of how I wanted it to go."

"I would tell you we've all been there, but I wouldn't want to lie to you," Harvey replied, smirking as he straightened his tie. "Harvey Specter always gets what he wants"

"Mmm, I'm sure he does.” You mused. “Well Harvey, as much as I'd like to chat more, I was about to head home and have a very large, very strong drink."

"Funny, I was about to ask if you'd like to join me for a drink."

You paused for a beat, weighing the pros and cons of going for a drink with Harvey. On one hand, he was technically your boss and it wouldn't be the worst idea to get to know him better. On the other, it made you a little nervous having any alcohol in your system around him. For totally work-related reasons, of course, and no other reasons.

"Fuck it," you thought to yourself. "live a little."

“You know what Harvey? Sure. I'd like that.”

Harvey grinned in a way that made your stomach erupt with butterflies.

"Good, let's get out of here." He said, grabbing your coat off the coat rack and handing it to you.

You grabbed it from him, put your bag over your shoulder and flicked the lamp on your desk off.

Harvey stood by the door to your office, holding it open and letting you go first.

"Wow, and to think just yesterday I thought you were only a pretty boy with an ego. Harvey Specter is actually a gentleman?" You questioned teasingly. Harvey raised an eyebrow, smirking as you both walked toward the elevators.

"All I'm hearing is that you think I'm pretty"

"Not the point, Specter."

"It's the only point I caught. Did you say something else?"

"And suddenly I'm regretting saying yes to you"

Harvey chuckled now, pressing the lobby button as the elevator doors closed.

Not an hour later, the two of you were seated at a small table in whatever fancy bar it was that Harvey had taken you to. You'd forgotten the name, but apparently, it was somewhere Harvey frequented if the exceptional treatment from the staff and the fact that they knew his name was any indication.

You ordered the drink you always ordered, a whiskey ginger with a lime, and Harvey nodded approvingly before ordering his own drink.

Once your server walked away, he turned to you with an impressed look on his face.

"You're a whiskey girl?"

You shrugged. "I've become one, I used to be a vodka girl in college though." You said with a giggle, remembering all the nights stumbling home from parties with your college roommate after way too many vodka lemonades.

"I was a 'whatever gets me drunk the fastest' guy myself," Harvey said, making you both laugh. Your drinks arrived and you held your glass up to cheers before taking the first sip.

You were surprisingly having a great time with Harvey, he was really getting to know you and you were even able to squeeze a few stories out of him, too. As time passed and the more drinks you had, the more you let your guard down and finally admitted to yourself that Harvey wasn't the same cocky guy you'd heard about from the rest of the world. He'd already started to show this in the workplace, but now that all the stress of the office was gone maybe, just maybe, you were even starting to admit to yourself that you wanted something else between the two of you. You pondered this while Harvey ordered another drink for each of you, your fourth of the night.

"Okay that'll have to be my last one, I can assure you, you don't want to see drunk Y/N this early into knowing me. She can be a handful" You warned with a smile.

Harvey chuckled in response, nodding in understanding.

You each sipped your drinks as you chatted some more, giving him some more bits and pieces about your life.

Harvey flagged down the server when you were both finished and before you could even offer to pay for your drinks, Harvey had already handed over his Amex.

"You didn't have to do that, I'm more than capable of buying my own drinks." You stated, standing and draping your coat over your arm. The heat from your slight intoxication warming you enough as it was. Harvey followed your lead, standing from his own chair before responding. He stepped slightly forward, much closer to you.

"I know you are, I just wanted to celebrate you making junior partner and show you that I really enjoyed your company tonight," Harvey said softly, a genuine smile on his face.

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire at his admission, and at the lack of distance.

"I happened to enjoy your company too."

You knew it was risky, and likely unrequited, to feel the way you felt right there in that busy yet intimate bar. You rationally knew that he probably was just being nice because he wanted to get to know you better for working purposes, but the drinks you'd had were starting to catch up with you and you didn't know how long you'd be able to take this closeness.

Harvey spoke, interrupting your train of thought.

"Look, I know it might cause some talk around the office, but I'd like to have something more with you. So, if you're feeling what I'm feeling, I'd really like to see you again. I mean, I'll see you at work obviously. But I'd like to take you out again, more planned this time-" He stammered, making you smile.

"Harvey?"

"Hmm?"

"Stop talking."

Before you could think twice you were pulling him close, planting your lips on his, and he wasted no time returning the gesture. When you finally pulled away, slightly out of breath, Harvey tucked your hair behind your ear.

"So is that a yes?"

"That's definitely a yes."

[destinyc1020]

What on EARTH are you talking about ANON??  🥴

You must be confusing me with another blog girl.  🙄

I never even started blogging about Tomdaya until August 2020.  You can even go and check my blogging history PRIOR to August 2020 and see that I wasn’t really blogging much about Tomdaya or answering a bunch of asks in general prior to August 2020. 

In addition to that, while I LOVED Tom and Z together the first time, I NEVER went on Jacdaya blogs or other shipping blogs and  crammed Tomdaya down anyone’s throats, nor did I ever send in anonymous asks into other blogs shipping Tomdaya.... And I certainly NEVER did that LONG after they split up!  That’s CRAZY-making behavior!😒

I didn’t even talk badly about their other relationships or post negative stuff about them on my blog!  EVER!!! 

In fact, I even reblogged and commented THIS about Tadia back when Tom and N went “public”!!  

I sometimes reblogged stuff like this:  

But even after Tom and Z broke up, I was NEVER delusional about them no longer being together.  I ACCEPTED it, and MOVED ON.  

You can even check my archives and reblogs during the time that Tom and Nadia were dating, or even when the TomdayApocalypse happened in July 2019!  You can even check my archives and reblogs back when Z was spotted with JE in NYC back in Feb 2020!  I have NEVER posted anything negative about their SO’s while they were dating them.  NEVER.  And I never crammed Tomdaya down anyone’s throat after they broke up either.  

So you are HIGHLY mistaken and are definitely getting your facts mixed up completely.  

By the way, I don’t care if people want to playfully ship Hunterdaya, or Johndaya, or even Tom w/Jake, or  Tom and Ciara or whatever.  But when you all repeatedly come into my inbox trying to paint Tom as a CHEATER, try to link him with women like O and N who he has CLEARLY moved on from AGES ago, and try to link Tom with any RANDOM woman who he breathes within 2 feet with, you all are the ones being highly disrespectful.  Especially when Tom has a gf.  

Even when I didn’t really care for the Jacdaya relationship, I simply accepted it, and allowed things to unfold the way they were destined to unfold.   

It’s YOU TROLLS & ANTIS that make it your full-time job to come on Tomdaya blogs and harass them to no end with your silly nonsense because YOU all (for whatever reason🙄) can’t accept that Tom is dating Zendaya and HAS dated her for years in the past.  YOU all are the ones who are so toxic and bitter that you have to cram all sorts of other girls down our throats to link Tom with (ie. Sydney, Olivia, Nadia, Sophia, Ciara, [insert model x, y, z here], spider emoji girl, RANDOM girls in London, etc) because for some reason, it bothers and TRIGGERS you all SO MUCH that Tom is with Zendaya and LOVES Zendaya!  You all are the ones who are seriously unhinged.  😒

You are such a LIAR Anon! 😤 Why are you blatantly lying??

I can’t believe you have the audacity to try to come here on my blog and make blatant LIES about me AND my blog! 🙄

Get your nonsense out of my blog. 😤

[peppersonironi]

Duke Thomas/The Signal Fic Recs

This is for @capttain-emo who saw me reblog this wonderful rec list by @stories-from-the-batcave , and asked if I knew any more. (I highly recommend those, btw, I love all the fics on that list! Yes, that includes the one I wrote in there) Duke Thomas is my favorite Batfam member, so I have a bunch! Unfortunately, there isn’t as much Duke content out there as I’d hope - people just don’t seem to like him as much for some reason? It’s sad. So, there are gonna be a couple here written by me. Rest assured, I have way more Duke content on the way - including a WIP coming out this week! (Ao3 linked out at the top of my blog)

I love recommending Fics, so hit me up in my inbox if there’s a trope or character or relationship (platonic or not) that you’d really love to read! I also write fan fiction, and my requests are always open!

1. Siblings: The Truth of the Matter by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & his siblings

Duke had a strange family. Two of his siblings had been raised from birth to be assassins. One was born in a circus. One had been a crime lord for a time. Yet another was the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company by the age of seventeen. All of them dressed up in spandex every night to punch bad guys.

So when he was woken up by icy water being splashed in his face, tied to a chair in nothing but his boxers, he wasn't surprised. Now, that's not to say he wasn't worried. Duke was definitely worried. Especially since it was these two.

AKA Duke gets tied up and questioned by his siblings, all while drugged with Truth Serum!

2. Bliss by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

Duke walks in on a sleeping assassin child in need of comfort, and takes a chance. Brotherly bonding ensues!

3. An ever growing family of birds and bats by alicecrow6

Rating: General Audiences/Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

a series of Batkids Age Reversal fics where Damian comes first, then Harper, then Duke and so on.

4. look at me, all the things I can do by Aelig  

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Bruce

"Duke took a bite of his toast, gaze still on Bruce. His foster father was sipping at his coffee, eyebrows frowning. To an outsider, you would think he was reading the morning news on his tablet, like always; Duke knew better. Bruce's look was a little away from the screen, his lips downward.

It was almost funny, to watch Bruce internally panic."

OR: It's the morning, and Duke is going back to school for the first time since his injury.

5. The Batchair(s) Issue by NightFlier

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen w/ background ships Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Steph, Steph/Cass Trio & Batfam

Duke Thomas feels like an outsider, and not just because he's part of the new Outsiders team roster. He's the newest member of the legendary Batclan and hasn't yet formed the close bonds that the others share. Not to mention, he's the only active Meta on the team. As if it wasn't hard enough to relate with people with such colorful, unique backgrounds.

But it's okay! Duke has a plan and it'll probably work for a while before crashing & burning. BatShenanigans ahead.

6. All That Glitters is Gold (Unfortunately) by IndefiniteIceCube

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Tim, Duke & Steph

The world is gold and Duke can't breathe.

He can't breathe.

He was sitting in AP World History just a minute ago.

Was it a minute ago? It seemed like a minute ago but it could have been hours because all he can focus on is that he can’t breathe. His lungs won’t fill and- and he’s trying he swears but he just. can’t. breathe.

And the gold—

-----

Duke's powers emerge.

It doesn't go well.

7. Be the Light that Helps Others See by Ace_Corvid @ace-corvid

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

Duke didn't really know what to expect from movie nights with the Bats.

He could only assume they approached this with the same determined intensity as they approached everything else. They were all so extra it was like their gauge for normal was completely broke. He wasn't really prepared for this.

And yet here he was. Surrounded.

(Alternatively; Batkid's have a movie night.)

8. I've Made a Million Mistakes by Sohotthateveryonedied

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

“Don’t worry,” Dick says, throwing his arm around Duke’s shoulders. “Everyone in this room has had their teeth knocked out at one point or another. It’s a rite of passage around here.”

“I don’t know how to tell you thith, but that doethn’t happen to normal people. We acthually prefer to keep our teeth, believe it or not.”

“Wait until you get your first major battle scar. Trust me, they’re cool.”

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

9. Children (All of Them) by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

In which Tim is not stupid but Jason might just be, Damian is furious, Dick kind of feels like he should be doing…something, Steph is ecstatic, and Duke wonders how long he can survive.

10. In the Dark of the Night by Aelig

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason, Batfam

"Duke was woken up by someone sliding into his bed. Someone big judging by how the mattress shifted.

Because Duke was a well-trained vigilante, his first reflex was obviously to kick whoever was being creepy right now and push them out of his bed.

It was only when the someone landed on the floor with a yelp that Duke realized that he was at Wayne Manor, which was incredibly secure – normally. He could recognize the voice, too."

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: none

OR: The Batfam and their way to deal with nightmares.

11. Welcome to the Family by angstyelephant

In which Duke Thomas goes back to the beginning.

12. Family-- by incorrectbatfam

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & batfam

“Your assignment over the weekend is to write a poem about your family.”

13. I'm Still Climbing(Even When the Rest Have Fallen) by anidear

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick, Duke & Damian

After his first exposure to the Fear Toxin, Dick checks in on Duke.

14. The cat and the newcomer by Fleur_de_Violette

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Alfred the Cat

Duke always found people talking to their pets about their problems silly. And yet here he was.

15. Duke-napped by NightOwl1600

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & batfam

The others don’t really bother Duke with his business. They all care about him, he knows, but outside of the vigilante business, they don’t really care to ask aside from the typical “How was school?” or “Can you buy me some chilidogs after you’re done with whatever you’re doing?” So he’s a bit concerned if they’ll even notice when he’s been kidnapped as Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne’s newest ward. But he’s not about to panic; as the others seem to be so determined that traumatizing new experiences are part of Bat-initiation.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family freaks out because “Did anyone go over the do’s and don’ts of getting kidnapped with Duke?!”

16. Nightmare/Hallucination by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason

Duke found himself staring at the ceiling again. His heart was no longer racing, but he wouldn’t exactly say that he was calm either. This is the moment after the end of a race you lost, when all of the adrenaline is starting to wear off and the hopelessness sets in. That’s it. You’re out of the competition, buddy.

Except that this isn’t a race, and Duke hasn’t just lost his spot for the finals. He had simply lost sleep.

17. Jason Todd, Big Brother Part 8792 by Gemini_00

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Jason, Duke & Damian

Robin and the Signal sneak along the Outlaws mission in order to steal a bazooka and hang out with Kori. Jason has to deal with two little brothers and feeding a team of outlaws. He's putting this on Bruce's credit

18. "What's wrong? What's happening?" By FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Tim

Duke runs into trouble during his daytime patrol, and ends up needing some back up. The resident over-productive insomniac bat picks up the call.

(A little bit of and Duke interaction for a nice tumblr Anon :) I hope you like it!)

19. Nightmares by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Dick

Filling the nightmare square on my bingo card with the help of an anon on tumblr who asked for a fic where Duke has a nightmare and asks for the help of one of the older batboys!

"Duke checked the time again. Two minutes had passed.

Time was ticking too slowly. He was tired, but sitting alone in the dark was definitely not a good idea right now.

He’d have to ask for help."

20. Brothers in Arms by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

...possibly against each other. Batkid prank wars are the worst.

Duke is learning. Tim is evil. So is Damian. Dick is embarrassing. Jason is dramatic. Steph is brave. Babs is all-knowing. Cass wants in. Alfred is a little amused, and Bruce is so. Tired.

21. First rule of Robin, right? By ALzzza

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian,Duke & Dick

"Nothing’s going to hurt you—you got that, nothing.”

Duke doesn’t have anything better to do but it’s not like that matters. Hell, he’d drop everything and run—always in time to catch this little bird.

Or, Damian’s Been Having Nightmares, Duke To The Rescue—Dick Always With The Reassurance

22. Duke's Diary by fiery_day

 Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Dick

This is a couple of journal entries by Duke as he learns to become Signal. He relates his thoughts on the batfamily and aspects of the vigilante life he now leads.

23. Significance of a Gala by nxttime

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Jason, Duke & Tim

This year’s Wayne Gala would be Duke’s first, and he had no clue how to feel about it.

 25. The cloud that looks after each other by Batmango

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Goliath

Duke wakes up the Bat cave after a fight with the Joker.

For MashpotatoeQueen5 as a thanks for using so many of my prompt in the excellent January Jot-Downs.

Prompt: a hurt comfort after an injury/illness? Or just cuddles. I love me some cuddles.

26. The One You’ll Know By by Redrikki

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Bruce & Alfred

After losing his memory, Bruce asked Alfred not to tell him about his vigilante life, but he's beginning to think his butler left a few other things out. Like, say, his kids.

27. Duke Thomas Hates Bullies by Gemini_00

Rating: Unrated Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Steph, Duke & Tim, Duke & Bruce, Duke & Damian

Everyone loves that Duke Thomas isn't like all those other crazy Waynes. Everyone loves that the Signal isn't trying to get himself killed. Duke may not see Bruce as his dad, but he is definitely part of the bat family. and nobody is going to bully his family. Or, Duke Thomas Kicks Ass.

28. batman is dancing to fortnight and this might as well happen because vigilante life is already so *Goddamn* weird (Duke Thomas: A Memoir) by MashpotatoeQueen5

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

You may not have time to unpack all that, but Duke Thomas does.

(He doesn't get it either.)

(He loves his new crazy family nonetheless.)

29. In a World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Kind by RedHoodie1723

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

Day Six of Batfam Week 2020: Take Your Child To Work Day

It was Duke's first time visiting Wayne Enterprises, and he couldn't help but be intrigued by the Martha Wayne Foundation.

30. You’re My Brother by blackpercy

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick

Duke's missing his parents a lot and Dick comes in to help his little brother.

And that’s it for the list! I hope you enjoy these thirty works! Once again, send me an ask if you have requests for fics, recs, or if you have general questions!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Taking a Break.

(Aug 24 to Sept 14/20)

So.

You may have guessed this was coming with my hinted responses to recent posts. I talked with a few Lovelies behind the scenes to help ease my fears about this decision. I’ve done a lot of reflective thinking for the past few weeks, and I’ve decided that when I have a three week break from work, I am also going to take advantage of that and take a three week break from here as well.

This is not something any of y’all did. Please do not think this. This is a “Steph hasn’t had time for herself since last summer” thing, a “Steph puts too much on her own shoulders because she doesn’t feel she deserves her own time” thing, a “Steph just needs a break” thing. And it’s been made even worse with C-19 because I’m NEVER off of the same computer nor couch. Before, I’d go to and from work, and blogging in the evenings was fun, because I didn’t do it during the day. Then on weekends, I’d answer asks and leave for the gym, spend a bit of my day running around, and come home, play again on Tumblr, and repeat.

Now, on work days, I literally wake up, spend 16 hours on my laptop, and then go to bed. Weekends, I FEEL obligated to be on Tumblr to help curate the community I love treasure so dearly, so ANOTHER day or so of my weekend is dedicated to making sure I have content for the following week to come, because HEY I can’t leave home anyway, MAY AS WELL. 

My blog is nearly a full time job, one I volunteer my free time for (I have a Ko.fi, shameless segue). I spend about 30 hours a week answering asks, filing my posts, searching for stuff for people, collecting reblog threads and chains, and generally trying to keep a positive attitude because I know so many of y’all come here for safety, love, happiness, and escapism. And I do it ALL because I LOVE doing it. I love being a curator of fandom. I love having a blog that people know they can come and generally have a good time. I love all of my friends and lurkers and the people who help me make this blog an interactive one.

The problem is that with never leaving home, I am becoming emotionally drained, very depressed, and am slowly not enjoying doing this anymore. I DON’T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. So after a lot of discussions with a few people and self reflection, I’ve decided I need Steph-Time™, and I need to FEEL like I’m not obligated to be here all the time, just like I needed time away from work. As I explained to my boss, I just need that time to not feel obligated to answer calls and Slack messages without feeling guilty about it. It’s different when I have a Work Computer and a Home Computer. My home computer is supposed to be Fun Stuff. Now it’s not, because work bothers me on my fun computer. He agreed, as did the Lovelies who I talked to behind the scenes.

I love you guys SO MUCH, and I love receiving the asks I get, but some days, a dozen asks daily becomes overwhelming and new fic lists and song recs become intimidating. I need a break. It’s taken me a lot to say that, because I am crying writing this because I feel so many people need me, and I genuinely don’t feel like I deserve a break ever, because there are people who come to me for comfort and need it more than I need a break.

But the ironic thing is that I can’t help anyone if I’m not taking care of myself. How fitting that my own advice to others comes back to slap me in the face, eh?

So, here’s what’s happening then, because I KNOW I can’t 100% stay away from here...

I am taking 3 weeks off from work starting August 24 until September 14. My “obligation break” from Tumblr will be during that time as well. I say “obligation” because Tumblr feels like I HAVE to do it. I don’t want that. I want to see what it’s like being you guys again, just taking in content, and coming on occasionally, post up shit photos of myself, LOL.

During said break, ALL ASKS AND SUBMISSIONS WILL BE TURNED OFF. I want to, IF I FEEL LIKE IT, take the time to answer some old asks. Essentially, I just want to do my blog because I feel like it, not because I NEED NEW CONTENT. Yeah, I think that’s what stresses me out, is because I’m TERRIFIED that y’all will leave me if I don’t keep producing new stuff, so I just.... never stop, and it’s draining me.

As an exception to the off-inbox rule, ASKS WILL BE TURNED ON ON AUGUST 27 ONLY. That is my birthday, and I know some people will want to send me well wishes. If you send me an un-related ask on that day, I probably won’t answer it unless it’s one of those ones I can answer quickly. But yeah, my birthday is on the 27, if anyone is interested in that sort of thing.

WEDNESDAY FIC LISTS WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED DURING THESE THREE WEEKS. Namely because I have exactly 4 lists ready to go, and I plan on using them for the this and the three subsequent Sundays. 

Five Fics Friday is still on, as is Fic Rec Sunday. 5FF will probably be fave fics instead of new MFLs, so I’m sorry about that. The Sunday lists are already done and therefore not going to stress me out.

I’m not leaving completely. I’m still here, I just, like I said, need that obligation element removed from my brain. You guys have NO CLUE how guilty I feel every day when I have to choose one or another ask because of the quickness of one ask over another, or the fact that This Day was a Bad Day™ and I can’t answer advice asks in a bad headspace. I need that element removed to just the asks I’ve already got, and let myself answer them on my own time. Draft a slew of them to post when I return (I mean, y’all have been waiting months/years on some of my asks, what’s another three weeks, LOL), and head back with a clear head to better help you guys.

So LITERALLY, the only difference you guys will notice is the lack of NEW posts. My queue is full for the next MONTH, so literally you would not even know I was gone unless you tried to send me an ask or a DM.

Let’s be real here, guys, I’m not going to completely disconnect for 3 weeks. Y’all will be yelling at me to get off and go outside, LOL.

So what am I doing with my 3 weeks then? Updating my resumé, learn some new art skills, go for my Big Walks™ I haven’t been doing, play some video games, get my hair cut, maybe get my cat. Do and post up some of my art I’ve been meaning to finish. You know, stuff that not-losers do, LOL.

Anyway, unlike Mofftiss, please don’t give up on me after three (weeks) :D I just need a mental health check, is really all this is. I’m having a hard time disconnecting work from leisure and I need to do that again. <3 

I will be back, I promise!! And hopefully better. <3

This is a very difficult decision for me, because I’ve been running this blog at full steam for about FIVE YEARS NON-STOP. All because I’m scared of hurting people. I hope you all understand.

I love you guys so much. <3

~Steph

[glitterge1pen]

Tired

Iwaizumi Hajime x reader, sfw, word count 1,424

You were so tired. Tired in your bones, in your eyes, the heaviness of your hair on your head. Your entire being was exhausted. You had work, and projects, and due dates. Friends that needed help, family that called you one too many times. It had been this way for weeks. The work kept coming. It didn't stop. There was always something to do.

Even in the late hours of the night when you found moments of free time, the things you enjoyed didn't seem fun. You didn't want to draw, or paint, or play video games, even watching the tv felt draining. You were so utterly exhausted that it hurt.

But it was Friday night now, and you had nothing booked. You had ignored the few texts on your phone. Turned off your notifications for work emails. You trudged through your front door. Not bothering to kick off your shoes and coat. You headed straight for your bedroom, landing on your bed with a thump. It was 6:30pm and you were going to sleep. You were going to sleep forever you decided.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　

At 7:00 Iwaizumi appeared at your front door with two boxes of takeout. You had been really busy lately and hadn't had time to hang out with him. But you had said Friday was free, that he should come over. He stood there for a couple minutes after he had knocked and rang the doorbell. He texted you again but no answer. He wondered if you were home. He couldn't see if any of the lights were on, you weren't answering.

Maybe something had come up?

Then he got concerned. What if something had happened? He hadn't heard one peep from you all day which was a little odd, you weren't one to blow him off without at least sending a text message either. He checked social media, trying to see if you had posted anything but you had been radio silent on all platforms for the day.

He looked this way and that. Not sure exactly what he should do. He decided that he wouldn't be able to eat all this take out. The best option would be to go inside, spoon some out into a container, put it in your fridge and then leave.

And he was curious.

Iwaizumi went to your mailbox. He stuck his hand inside, grazing his palm on the inside of the mailbox until he found the extra key you had duct taped there. He had seen you do this on many a drunk night.

He unlocked the door quietly. Even though he wasn't doing anything wrong it felt strange to be in your home without you. He crept into the kitchen, setting the food down quietly. Before he got to banging open the cabinets to find a container, he wanted to look around.

All the lights were off so he flicked the hallway switch on. He poked his head into your bedroom. There you were. A lump amongst the blankets and pillows. Laying face down, fully clothed, you hadn't even bothered to crawl under the covers.

And your room. God it was a mess. Iwaizmumi felt bad for judging you on that. But it was really messy. Then it struck him. How busy you said you were, how you haven't hung out as much, how you were texting and calling less. You must have been so fatigued.

He quickly went back to the kitchen, putting the food in the fridge. Then he found a trash bag from under your sink and got to work. Back in your room he tossed away crumpled receipts, some food wrappers, an empty amazon box, junk mail that had piled up next to your bed.

He thought it might be creepy what he was doing. Especially because he kept looking at you to make sure you were still asleep. He wasn't sure if he could handle the awkwardness that would be you waking up to him sorting through your trash.

He moved so quietly, stiff and still. He could hear your breathing. The lull of it made himself sleepy. He thought about what it would be like to lay with you. He noticed your feet hanging off the bed, he wondered if he should push them onto the mattress. You’d be terribly sore if he left you hanging off the bed like that. But he was much too scared of waking you to do so. He’d look at your resting face, see how empty and overworked you were, and start cleaning in vigor again.

Iwaizumi hung up jackets and cardigans. Turned away as he tossed a pile of t-shirts and bras into a hamper. Lined up your shoes into proper pairs in the closet. Straightened up the books, stationery and knick-knacks on your desk. Rid the nightstand of dirty glasses of water. Ran a rag over your lights to get rid of the dust. He even swept the floor.

The only thing he couldn't do was make the bed. He felt proud himself as he scanned the room in its new state of perfection. But that feeling faltered when he thought of what Oikawa would say in this moment. There would have definitely been some heavy teasing. It didn't matter. If you weren't going to take care of yourself, Iwaizumi would do his best to pick up the slack.

In the kitchen he took some of the food for himself, and left the rest for you. Leaving the extra key on top of the container in the fridge. He wrote a simple message on a sticky note. Tacking it to the food. Before leaving he gave the place one more scan. Making sure his presence was not there at all.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　

Saturday morning you woke up feeling as if you had returned from vacation. It was as if you hadn’t actually been in your body for a while. You were also unusually optimistic for just waking up. This good feeling wore off fast. The waves of exhaustion had ceased their attacks, but your body was sore. Specifically your legs. And you were hot, sweaty from sleeping in your clothes. Your face felt dirty. Mouth gross and dry. You had skipped the night routine.

Rolling over onto your back was when you noticed. Your room was spotless. You definitely had not cleaned last night. Or at all in the past few weeks for that matter. Suddenly you felt uneasy.

Had some creep broke in? Was this going to be one of those bizarre news articles about a girl getting murdered in an elaborate way? You glance around for your phone. You thought you had tossed it next to you upon getting home but found it on your nightstand plugged in.

You snatch it up, surprised that it is already 11:45am. There is a missed facetime call from your best friend, a couple instagram notifications, and then a small barrage of texts from Iwaizumi.

“Oh my god”

You say out loud. This was definitely the work of Iwaizumi. Then the rush of guilt flooded into you. You had completely forgotten about him. You winced and then flopped back on the bed. Even worse was that he had seen the total wreck that was your room. It wasn't usually so unkempt but you hadn't had the time or energy to clean at all.

Unsure if this was a calling or texting matter you push it aside for the moment. You needed food. As if on cue you felt how barren your stomach was. You could text Iwaizumi back after you got at least a slice of bread.

Your heart dropped off a cliff when you saw the takeout. It was your favorite, you knew just from the box. In Iwaizumi’s long precise handwriting was his very curt note.

Came with food. Cleaned.

-Hajime

You didn't even warm the food up. Just started eating. You felt as if you should cry. He hadn't even woke you up. You were so overwhelmed by what he had done. It was so much, he had just brought over food and tidied up but it was so much. You laughed at what his reaction would be, if you called him with tears pouring down your face, trying to eat. You were so happy that he had done any of this for you at all.

Phone in hand you hovered over his contact, hesitating. But you know you have to call.

“Hey, you're awake”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　

A/N: I've never posted writing on Tumblr before so tell me how this goes? I'm working on making some navigation for the blog, hopefully that stuff will be here by the end of the week.

In the meantime feel free to request some haikyuu related things. Drop anything in the inbox, if I write it I do, if I don't I don't.

[protectwoc]

why all reylos are racist

y’all can go ahead and cancel me now because some of you are not going to like what i have to say and i am completely okay with that.

this recent gq interview with john boyega has incensed me. hearing all the things he went through, from disney and from “fans” and with no support from anyone… i’m livid. sometimes when i think about it for too long i start shaking, i’m so furious. and the response from the reylo fandom has infuriated me to a degree i honestly didn’t know was possible.

some of you may have seen my recent tumblr rampage. it’s reylo bullying hours here on my blog, and i’m not sorry either. one person threatened to post screenshots of my comments, which like… okay? i know what the fuck i said, it wasn’t that long ago. in fact i was going to include the screenshots in this post right here, but they blocked me before i had the chance. sorry. i’m sure somebody has them. anyway…

over the past two days in the star wars fandom we have seen something unprecedented: an outpouring of support for john boyega. both reylos and anti-reylos have joined forces to voice support for john in the wake of the gq interview (and the blm protests, let’s be real, some of y’all would not have given half a fuck if it wasn’t suddenly cool to be antiracist). and this showing of unity is one of the most rage-inducing things i’ve ever seen in a fandom (which is saying something; i have seen some shit).

reylo fandom, full offense intended, but where the fuck do you get off? you’re supporting john now? where was this support when tfa came out and you couldn’t stand the thought of him next to your white-girl-self-insert? where was it when tlj came out and your boy ryan completely sidelined him? where was it earlier this fucking year when y’all twisted a harmless joke (like yall haven’t spent years writing reylo-throne-room-sex-meta BULLSHIT) and ignored the vile racist shit coming from your own fav’s mouth? but you’re supporting him now? now that being antiracist is trendy? fuck outta here with that bullshit.

your fandom is the reason for the vast majority of the absolutely subhuman treatment john has endured over the last few years. your fandom influenced ryan (yes i know what his name is) to write tlj the way he did, you have behaved indefensibly here on tumblr.hell writing and drawing and fantasizing about all sorts of racist bullshit, and y’all have STAYED in his twitter mentions spewing hatred seven ways to sunday. but NOW, without a shred of self-reflection, you’re supporting him? now his experiences are valid?

the way that your fandom refuses to take accountability for its actions makes me see red. y’all stay on some “not all reylos” nonsense and i am SICK OF IT. i’m only gonna say this once, and i want you to hear me: you cannot be a reylo and be “antiracist”. you cannot participate in a fandom that has behaved the way yours has and say “blm, uwu acab.” you can’t. like do you think black people are dumb? that we can’t see right through you? we can.

“but rae,” i hear you whining. “you’re gonna say just because i like two characters together i’m a racist?” and of course not. that would be ludicrous. i think just because you knowingly engage and participate in a fandom that has racism encoded in its dna, you’re a racist. i think because y’all are in bed with racist harassers, racist trolls, and racist content creators, you’re a racist. that’s what the fuck i think. y’all lost the right to “it’s just a ship” me the instant you dragged john boyega into this.

here’s an example: i watched tfa about three days after it came out. i watched the first half, saw the obvious relationship set up between finn and rey, and thought, “aw, cute.” then i watched kylo and rey fight, watch him offer to teach her, and thought, “... interesting.”

when i got home i checked tumblr for finnrey content, saw the outpouring of love from black fans, all the cute fanart and fics blooming, and smiled. then, slowly, guiltily, i searched “reylo.”

BOOM. racism. the things i saw in the tag that night are tattooed on my brain. reylos rejoicing about the obvious rey/kyle pairing because “sw would never put her with that monkey finn”. calling him an “oaf”, “useless”, “bumbling”, “stupid”. reylos joking about how “when they talked about the Dark side, [they] didn’t think they meant that kind of dark.” “woke” reylos pretending to ship stormpilot in an obvious ploy to get finn away from kylo. and in between all of that, cute ship art. fun fics. talented gif makers. and nobody saying shit about the reprehensible behavior going on in their tag.

reylo is built on a foundation of racism. from that first week, racism has been woven into the fabric of your fandom, and it’s been going unchecked. and i don’t mean calling out other reylos. that’s not enough. i mean taking actual steps. y’all have been sitting in a cesspool of racism for five years, and its time for you to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up about being an “ally”. y’all need to leave this fandom.

don’t agree? here’s another story. in 2017, when i still watched supergirl (before i grew taste) i shipped karamel. for those of you who don’t know, karamel is the ship of kara zor-el (supergirl) and mon-el, her second love interest. when supergirl was moved to the cw for its second season, the decision was made to abruptly end her romance with jimmy olsen, played by mecahd brooks (a black man) and replace him with mon-el, played by chris wood, a white man, who was revealed to be, among other things, an alien slaveowner, as well as a playboy and all-around terrible person. and i shipped them. look, i’m not defending myself, but i never really bought the chemistry between jimmy and kara. even though mon-el’s introduction and the way that they carelessly disregarded kara’s feelings for jimmy made me uncomfortable, i thought the way melissa played her attraction to chris wood was more believable (and again, i’m not defending myself, but they are now married so it’s not like i was wrong). so i shipped them. simple as that, right?

well, no. not really. because the inherent racism in the way the writers wrote out her admittedly sweet romance with a black man in favor of a white slaveowner jerk kept bothering me. and finally i decided that it made me too uncomfortable to participate in. i never really reblogged any karamel fandom stuff, but i completely divorced myself from the fandom. i stopped reading karamel fic, and i switched to reblogging exclusively jimmy/kara content until the fandom died out/i stopped watching. i made a choice that real life racism is more important to me than a fucking fandom or a ship, and then i acted accordingly. simple as that.

and i’m not saying you have to stop liking the reylo dynamic. i still like the chemistry between kara and mon-el. i’ve shipped problematic ships before (bamon comes to mind) and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that (to a point). but there’s a difference between liking a ship dynamic and engaging and contributing to a fan culture of racism. you have to stop participating in the fandom. y’all are in bed with people indistinguishable from confederate-flag-waving-all-lives-matter-touting racists and you don’t feel the need to get out of that environment? there comes a certain point where you have to decide if fandom bullshit is more important to you than fighting racism, and unfortunately, reylos have chosen wrong. that, ladies and gentlemen, is why all reylos are racist, regardless of what they say. roll credits.

except i have more to say, so i’m gonna say it. first of all, i’m not trying to hold myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue. i’m not holier-than-thou because all my ships are “woke” or whatever. chemistry is subjective, and we’re all going to be attracted to different ship dynamics, and there’s nothing wrong with that in theory. what matters is the execution. i finally had to say one day, “you know, this ship and the racist baggage it carries is actually less important to me than battling systemic racism on every level, including the fandom level”. y’all thought being antiracist was gonna be easy? that you wouldn’t have to make some actual changes, to make some actual sacrifices? sorry not sorry to disappoint. and if i, a normal-ass person with flaws and problematic thinking that i’m still dealing with and the whole ine yards, can make that decision, then other people should be required to as well.

(what really irks me is that the karamel fandom wasn’t even really that bad! i definitely could have gotten away with being a karamel stan in 2017. thankfully the supercat and supercorp shippers were doing the lord’s work and bullying them into submission (don’t think i’m letting y’all off the hook either, y’all have got some racism to deal with as well but that’s an essay for another day) but like most of the racism happened at the writing level; the fandom itself wasn’t engaging in racist clownery on the regular. but like the reylos are. y’all see racist bullshit coming from your neighbor, fav fic writer, artist, gif maker, whatever, and don’t say shit? don’t feel the need to distance yourself from them? gtfoh.)

i made this argument earlier when i was on my rampage (which i’m still on btw so don’t clown in my inbox, you will get your shit rocked) but i’m going to make it again because i feel like its important to note. when i pointed out that existing in the reylo fandom while you are aware of its racism makes you complicit in that racism, a white reylo told me earlier that (paraphrasing, my memory’s not as good as it used to be and i did mention that they’d blocked me) “you don’t solve a problem like systemic racism by ignoring it. leaving the fandom would be allowing it to happen.” when i pointed out that that’s police officer rhetoric almost verbatim, she (a white reylo) admonished me (a black woman) not to compare police brutality to a “ship war.” lmao.

look, clearly y’all need a refresher on what “systemic” means. it means, quite simply, that there are systems, large and small, allow for racism to exist, and it also means that allowing for racism to exist on the small scale means expecting it on a large one. like you think police officers spring fully formed from the head with racist ideals already ingrained? no! they learn it and learn to justify it with “well just because my friend made a racist joke doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because i laughed at my friend’s using a racist term in my video game doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because my friend is a racist doesn’t mean i’m a racist” and then we have people watching their coworkers kneel on a man’s back for 8 minutes with no remorse. i’m not gonna solve police brutality by fighting reylos on tumblr, but fandom racism is real racism with consequences on our world, and i don’t tolerate ANY type of racism. and the fact that you are so willing to not just tolerate it but justify it should say something to you.

and not all reylos are like this. similar to cops, good reylos don’t last. i have seen people grow so disgusted by the racism in the reylo fandom that they publicly turned their backs on it, and those reylos i respect. you’ve heard of “the only good cop is an ex-cop” well get ready for “the only good reylo is an ex-reylo”.

(and also like far be it from me to justify a cop but one could at least say they have their livelihoods to think about (not like they couldn’t just pick a nonmurderous profession but i digress) but you reylos can’t even choose between taking a stance against the hateful and unjustified bullying of a man who had the audacity to… get a job (?)... over a ship? come on now.)

the point of all this is, for all their posturing about “being antiracist” and “fuck 12” and “support john boyega”, reylos have decided that a relationship between two fictional people is more important than all the black and brown people who are hurt by that decision and the consequences of that decision. and before y’all pull some “b-but there are POC reylos!” (stop fucking using poc as an adjective, its a noun, it stands for person of color, please use it as such) internalized racism is a thing. busting out your token “reylo of color” (see how easy that was?) is not going to change my mind. all reylos are complicit in the racism of their peers, and being complicit makes you culpable. full stop.

and that is why the public support of john boyega from the reylo fandom has me seeing red. renounce your fandom or keep that man’s name out of your mouth. anyway, this was long and ranty and entirely stream-of-consciousness and i’m refusing to edit it so it’s probably completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me but if you made it this far thanks for reading ig. all reylos are racist, blm, fuck 12, acab, stan john boyega, don’t clown in my inbox unless you’re coming to bully me for being a karamel shipper, which i deserve (or do, i couldn’t give less of a fuck). good night.

[snarktheater]

Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0

Hello again.

It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.

Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.

So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.

The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.

Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.

Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.

So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?

Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.

You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.

And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.

Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.

These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.

Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.

I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.

Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.

You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.

Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.

Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.

I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.

Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.

But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.

That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.

More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.

I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.

Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.

Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.

To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.

Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:

I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)

There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.

So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:

According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…

Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?

Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.

The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.

Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.

See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.

By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.

And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.

There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.

Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.

As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO

Well now that’s just silly.

And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.

So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.

If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.

He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.

This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.

Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.

The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.

What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.

Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?

Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.

SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni

Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade’s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.

I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.

We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.

Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.

The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.

GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.

Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!

Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.

Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?

We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.

What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.

It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.

Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.

Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.

Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole

I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!

So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.

We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?

GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.

On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.

Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.

This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.

How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.

You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.

It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.

And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!

When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.

“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.

There. You have been infodumped.

In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:

You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.

Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:

I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.

So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.

Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.

And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.

Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.

I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.

On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.

(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)

Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.

Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?

And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.

And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.

So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.

[breadclubrising]

Why do you believe another gl reunion would make Ibushi fulfilled? Bc last time he seemed pretty annoyed by the end of it, saying he was just being tossed aside as "Kenny's replacement" and "I have nothing else to do in this tournament" and ofc the "I've always been alone". Why would it be different now?

wellllllllllll because the GL story has a surprising amount of nuance for a wrestling storyline, and has kind of deliberately mixed kayfabe with real life in such a way that you can’t talk about them separately a lot of the time.

i DEFINITELY didn’t say he ‘needs’ it to be ‘fulfilled’, because that is a thing that would give me hives to say. i have many times said he doesn’t need Kenny and that’s been the point, is that they both totally can be great without each other, but they keep choosing each other and even if they’re successful in their careers, they are unhappy when they’re apart. if you find that disagreeable, please email kota (i know for a fact he does not check his email because of course he doesn’t). What I said was: it is how their careers will play out because they literally say that will happen and they have gone to LENGTHS in real life to make it happen.

i saw someone on twitter who bothered to take a screenshot of some galaxy brain on reddit finally figuring out that ibushi and omega see each other as endgame, and captioned it something like ‘golden lovers is the worst story in wrestling please stop.’ which is totally an opinion you are welcome to have but also, the part about them being each other’s endgame is a thing they both have said and kenny in particular will never let anyone forget. i do not understand why people give it the ‘lol shut up fangirl shippers’ treatment when it’s a thing that has been telegraphed since the beginning of time, unless you are calling ibushi and omega fangirl shippers, which you actually probably should bc no one ships GL more. anyway, i actually completely get why people who don’t like the storyline, or don’t like kenny, or whatever, have a different reading of the actual events that took place. but it means that you asking me this question isn’t going to get you a satisfying answer, and that makes me feel like you’re just asking me this to make me feel bad for liking a thing incorrectly. 

but you did ask, which is totally on you, so: Ibushi said (explicitly, in interviews, and on twitter) that he was frustrated with himself for not Reaching His Potential. He never expressed frustration with Kenny, or even with NJPW’s booking. He wasn’t even officially signed until a couple months after Kenny left. 

It was like this: he was an outsider in the company. He was always paired with the guy who is like, certified by the belt to be The Best Wrestler In The World. That guy had a problem like the bus in Speed, except instead of having to maintain a speed of 60mph to avoid exploding, the bus has to constantly say its boyfriend is the coolest. So Kenny, the best wrestler in the world according to kayfabe, is like ‘actually my mans here is the best wrestler in the world’ and kota’s like ‘thanks i love you too but i’m pretty sure you’re the one with the belt and the pwi cover and 437 meltzer stars you fucking labradoodle.’ (I’d bet money Kota does not know what a labradoodle is.) Kenny’s stanning was sweet and well-intentioned but to Kota it only highlighted the achievement gulf between them. And it did not help that his mentor Tanahashi was like ‘allow me to highlight the achievement gulf between you and your genetically inferior labradoodle boyfriend, whomst i don’t like for Reasons.’

And that made Ibushi be like ‘i’m 36 (at the time) years old and I have every muscle and yet, no accolades. the fact that i have not yet managed to be the unequivocal best and that i foolishly had a body and feelings is shameful and weak.’

That’s how he is: he beats himself up about stuff like goddamn taking time off to heal from neck surgery and a mental breakdown, and the unforgivable sin of not being quite sure what direction he wanted to take his career. It felt really bad! It deffos did! But his frustration was not directed where you think it was! But that’s the part I said you’re not going to agree with me on, so!

There was so much going ON in this story and it was really GOOD! Like all the stuff with Tanahashi was incredible and heart-wrenching and you just wanted to both smack and hug all three of them and it was a really good story! 

Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that bc people who dislike the Golden Lovers are very reductive about why they assume people like the thing they do not like. But yes, it actually is a good story, now that I type a tiny part of it out like that; not my fault some people seem to have missed the epic heroes’ journeys forest for the gay love story trees. Not that there’s anything wrong with gay love story trees; also very much part of the forest.

Anyway Anon, part of the reason earlier on I speculated that you just came to my inbox to try to make me feel sad for liking things in a way you did not was that... honestly. HOW did ANYONE watch Ibushi say “I was always alone, before” after he won the 2019 G1 and go “king said ‘new career who dis’ and deleted kenneth’s number from his phone! 👏always 👏alone 👏before 👏!!!’ 

Like yeah those are the words he said but, you know, words can mean a lot of things! and personally, I think it’s relevant that those words were enveloped by a heartbreakingly pained smile that says ‘GREAT question Tokyo Sports, i WILL cry RIGHT here at this FUCKING folding table if you do not IMMEDIATELY pretend along with me that my existence began earlier this evening when I entered this arena. thanks in advance!’ Like!

Yep, look at that smug fuck pretending not to know who his shitty ex is! Prolly thinking of some good labradoodle jokes.

(On the real i know that not everyone is good at ascertaining emotion from facial expressions. I get that, and I’m not gonna dog on anyone for it, because I myself am often not great at it. And honestly? If he meant this in the “I don’t know her” sense, I would probably have loved it, bc I am a Kota Ibushi fan first, a human second, an antifa supersoldier third, and then a Golden Lovers Scholar like somewhere in the low 20s. But... I can’t even pretend that reading works for me. I hate looking at these gifs. That’s how much this reads to me as Having A Bad Time, like this man’s face is among my favorite things to view on this horrible planet and my heart feels like it’s being poked with a broken toothpick every time these gifs loop.)

And finally, because of the thing I said in the first paragraph that I wrote when I was like “i’m just gonna write a quick answer to this ask” like some kind of fucking fool who has never seen my own blog: it would not “be different now”, it has always been this story, and both Kenny and Kota say that when they are able to. It mixes kayfabe with real life, and in real life it’s really clear that it’s endgame for both of them, and I’m very sorry to GL haters but please direct your displeasure with the narrative to the two nerds who are determined to continue it across decades and oceans.

[diariesof-kg]

Love & Order.

08_01_2021

I am bothered that I keep having dreams about this person. I am confused why my mind is going in reverse.  Why my mind creates these visuals of us happy and being together when that could never be.  Perhaps it’s the illusion of the mind.  Perhaps my dream is the reality of false hopes.  It’s strange and I need it to stop.  There are moments that I do miss, I can be honest about but I feel as those the rush of disappointments erased all of that.

I do embrace the dreams because they are true feelings that I had. I really loved and cared about her deeply.  It is extremely hard to make me fall in love.  I don’t rush into using the word love either.  I have to feel it on a spiritual level before it leaves my mouth.  I am at most disappointed with myself though. I reflect a lot and think, girl, you were blinded because you left a lot of people behind for things they did to you and you couldn’t see any of this coming.  But relationships are complicated as usual.  The last time we had a disagreement, was when she was doing my hair.  And I remember I just got over it quick and asked for a kiss.  And that was the end of it.  There are positive reasons why I stayed although it felt toxic as hell.  I had experienced things I didn’t experience in my past relationships.  I legit slept on the couch, floor after an argument from my past.  I legit couldn’t get a hug or kiss. It was bad and so part of me was getting something different and I stayed.  There were positive moments.

After the court proceedings, I reflected on what was said.  She said she bit me to get me to leave.  But I was bit outside of your residence and it wasn’t a nibble, it was cuts in my arms and a nasty bruise that looked gross overtime.  That statement made me sick to my stomach.  It just reminded me of victims in domestic violence situations get blamed for them being harmed.  She admitted to it, but still didn’t apologize.  It was disgusting.  This is why I will speak on what happened to me to the masses.  Because there are so many victims who live in silence, because of how conditioned they have become from their partners.  Like when she told me her friend slit her wrist and wrote I love you all over the girlfriend walls because they were breaking up.  What excuse is that?  What if your friend killed her girlfriend, you are going to blame the dead? She shouldn’t have broken up with someone crazy, then she’d be alive.  This is truthfully sick.  It makes sense why your friends are your friends and why as a flock of pigeons, neither one of you really held each other accountable.  Her and her friends find excuses to one’s actions and blames the victims.  That’s honestly scary.  I am lowkey scared for my life now.  I mean wow.  And then the person who paid you to mail drugs or what have you told you the police was coming and to not come home.  I should report his ass. LOL.  He part of the problem too.  You have a whole ring device to avoid the police from your recreational activities. Oh boy.

I am at peace though.  I feel refreshed after everything that has happened.  I wish I could date someone else, but I am stuck, well my soul is stuck on the person who betrayed me.  I am patiently waiting for everything to resolve itself, so that I can move on and be with someone else.  I feel like the timing and the universe will work itself out.  I honestly love the Buffins.  The way they built their foundation and their relationship is goals.  They both have great work ethics and indulge in each other.  I know where they are with each other took a lot of time, but when you know that person is your forever I am going to have to assume something silently dings.  I thought she was my person too, but somehow I was wrong.  Still upset with myself about that.  I even thought, what if all this blows over and we reunite but then I think to myself, she told a federal employee that I stole her identity.  I just can’t forgive that.  That’s really dangerous to lie like that.  You walking around Los Angeles telling lies like that.  I work for the government how gross can you get.  You could make up any lie on me but that is too far.  Even the lawyer was shocked and was like, you work with so many people, why would you choose her.  Especially when they ask if she has a job or monies.  They trying to understand the motive here.  Like that is disgusting.  That’s part of my story too.  Like I said, someone else is for me.  A soulmate.  A lifetime partner.  I just have to be patient enough.  I want to move in with my partner and travel together.  I want to propose the whole nine.

So before everything hit the fan, I had this plan to ask her to be my gf.  The only person that knew of this was my bff Nay.  I had told her to ask her what kind of ring she likes and all these questions.  I started taking her out on random dates just to see how things could go.  I had bought a ring, lordt nobody knows, because they’d all kill me. Lol.  But I did.  You can even check my bookmarks.  Even when I was planning Big Sur, it was all part of the plot.  I remember trying to figure out how to get her out of the resort room to set this all up.  I even reached out to a planner.  I am very romantic when it comes to showing my partner love.  I don’t believe in showing it upfront all the time, because its cliche.  I even had the idea of at my house.  It was a thing.  And this was being planned since December.  I think my bff did ask silver or gold and my bff said silver.  It was bound to happen regardless of us being on bad terms, because I never give up on what I truly feel.  But parts of me is glad I saw those tweets.  Because I would have been a dumbass bish looking real stupid.  I mean I still looked stupid because I was loyal and not being flirtatious to others. I am still upset at my damn self to be honest.

I wake up everyday feeling great, because I can replan it for someone else.  I can fall in love with someone else.  I can spoil someone else who will truly love and care about me.  Who is secure within themselves and open.  That is what keeps me going.  Even though I felt broken after April 30th, I told my therapist no one will ever want me.  And I cried for a week.  I look back and think damn I survived that.  Someone will accept me as damage goods and understand my past.  I do believe it will happen soon.  It’s difficult being that covid has made its rounds again.  But I took time from work to refocus on a few things.  My room is almost done.  Its going to be like a spiritual room when you walk in.  You can meditate, write on the board of things you want to let go of and then it’s just that.  I my friends to feel at peace when they come in.  I know it seems strange but that’s how I want my condo to be as well.  Like a zen vibe.  I am just waiting for more stuff to be delivered.  I am excited about that.  I have not have the urge to hop back on any dating sites.  I do feel different about myself.  I have never had trust issues at all.  And now I do.  I am definitely scared to get to know someone or allow them to know me.  It’s not a good feelings at all.  But I do want to be with someone by 2022.  I want to share a life with someone.  There is no rush but I for one don’t want to be past 35, still can’t be in a relationship.

Parts of me is sad though too.  Because we would look at million dollar homes and in my head, I knew how simple it would to get it.  But like spiritual z said, you can’t protect her anymore and I have to move on and get out of this cycle.  But I do want to settle down by 2022.  I want to get this townhouse or condo and then a Tesla.  And then whomever is interested can have the choice as we get serious to move in with me or we get a place together.  All about communication and commitment and I am ready for that.  But also, I have to close this chapter.  Which means after telling my story to the blogs, the groups etc. and I am fully healed, I know the universe will be ready to send me someone by the end of the year.  I am honestly excited, because I am definitely going to take my future bae on a vacation by the 5th date.  I am not playing this time.  I have the means to do it, so why not.  I saved up enough for anything I desire at this point.  Plus thank you MTV and VH1.  Thank you for all the bookings honestly.  

To end this blog, I will post the responses I received after the domestic violence occurred.  I posted this anonymously to avoid being flooded in my inbox.  But it made me feel better about the situation, especially when you are torn. 

Until next time...

[lady-therion]

a prompt for elriel could be florist elain x part timer azriel ! elain needs help with her flower shop and at the right moment azriel comes around in need of a job and a temporary place to stay(; !

A/N: What a sweet prompt, anon! 

***

Boys and Flowers

***

Elain knows that flowers aren’t permanent. 

They grow and they die. Then, they do it all over again, season by season. Here’s the real magic: You never encounter the same flower twice. Each one is unique, not unlike people. 

Elain knows that people aren’t permanent either. 

Take Graysen. Or rather, let’s not. Elain’s memories of him are oil-dark and bitter. In the morning, she opens her planner and marks down the number of days since “the unspeakable incident.” Today’s tally is 43. In the margins, she writes, “I’m not numb anymore. Just sad.” Which is progress. Feyre would throw her a party. Nesta would buy her a drink.

But neither of her sisters are here. They are far away in a different state, still wondering about Elain’s decision to move and open her own flower shop. They ask a lot of sensible questions: Why open a small business in this economy? Why not just work for a local florist? What are you going to do about rent? 

It’s fair for them to worry. Money is a sore subject in their family. But Elain stands by her decision. The reason for leaving is simple: She’s tired of playing a role in someone else’s story. Here, in a town where almost no one knows her, she has the space to learn what her story is really about. 

All her life, Elain has been waiting to meet herself. 

Now she’s got her chance.

On a less philosophical note, her sisters are still right about money. Business is good, but she’s been having trouble keeping up with orders, which has been eating away at her bottom line. Her inbox is a disappointment. There are no applications for a potential assistant. Location is probably an issue. Her flower shop isn’t by any convenient public transit.

She chews her lip; a bad habit. What would she do if she couldn’t reach a sustainable quota? Her savings are fine, but they can only get her so far. Would she need to take out a loan? Could she even afford the interest? How long would it be before she goes into the red…? 

A swift knock at the door interrupts her downward spiral. Elain freezes. There’s only one person in this town who actually comes to visit. 

Over Zoom, Feyre calls him “the sexy neighbor.” 

Nesta calls him “the nuisance.” 

Elain just knows him as Azriel.  

He lives in the apartment next door. The first time they met was over a noise complaint; her noise complaint. Azriel himself isn’t particularly loud. But his lady friends? Just thinking about the sounds they made caused the blood rush to her cheeks (and other places). 

Obviously, Azriel is very generous in that area. 

But generous or not, Elain wasn’t about to lose any more sleep. 

Hi, I’m Elain. Your new neighbor. 

Ah. I’m Azriel. A pleasure. 

Right…pleasure. 

How are you liking the new —? 

— Did you know our bedrooms share the same very thin wall? 

I….what…? 

Did she regret bringing it up so abruptly? Yes. But constant sleep deprivation had already frayed her patience. It didn’t matter that Azriel literally looked like one of those Greek statues on display at the Louvre. It didn’t matter that he had eyes and tattoos and muscles that could stop traffic.  

Elain may have lost her way in a lot of things. 

But she did not lose her manners. 

And she would absolutely hold her neighbors to the same standard.

She can remember how Azriel blushed to the tips of his ears as he stammered an apology. The next day, there was a bouquet of flowers left on her doorstep (and a pair of ear plugs, the scoundrel). But after that, there were no more lady friends (that she could hear, anyway, with or without the ear plugs). 

As part of their truce, they would invite each other over for brunch at least once a week. It gives Elain something to look forward to. Especially since she still hasn’t met anyone else here. 

Besides, she finds his presence soothing. He doesn’t ask her too many questions. She doesn’t ask him in turn. Elain gets the sense that they’re both living from moment to moment. Or that they’re both running from something that they can’t give voice to. Maybe someday, they would. 

Azriel’s broody eyes gleam when she opens the door. 

And no, it does not make her heart race. It does not. 

“Elain.” 

He never says “hey” or “hi there” when he sees her. He just says her name, then smiles. Not a toothpaste commercial smile either. His smiles are quiet and tentative things, like he isn’t used to doing them often. That he would always make an effort for her in this way brings her inexplicable joy. Like watching the sun suddenly appear on a gray afternoon.

“Want some coffee?”  

“I’m getting evicted.” 

Elain’s heart drops to her feet. She opens the door a little wider. “Want something a little stronger?”

***

Turns out their landlord is a jerk. 

“So you were dating his ex?” 

Azriel drains his glass. “Dating is kind of a strong word.” 

“Hn.” Well, who is Elain to judge? “That doesn’t really seem like grounds to evict someone.” In fact, Elain is pretty sure that whatever’s going on is illegal. She thinks about calling her father. Being a businessman himself, he could probably put Azriel in touch with a good lawyer. 

Azriel waves away her offer. “It was bound to happen anyway. People are petty. And cruel.” 

Elain thinks of Graysen. She thinks about the scars on Azriel’s hands. The scars they never talk about. Yes, people can be cruel. But people can also be kind. The fact that Azriel takes the worst of humanity for granted saddens her more than anything else. 

She doesn’t want to lose him as her neighbor. 

“Where will you go?” 

“I could move in with one of my brothers for a while.” He tells her where they live. Her anxiety deepens. They’re just as far away as her sisters. “I don’t want to bother you with this either, but some of my contracts fell through. Even if I could stay here, I wouldn’t be able to make the rent.” 

Elain swallows. There are moments in life that one calls turning points. Turn one way, it will become this. Turn another way, and it will become that. There is no way to tell which path is the right choice. But although Elain isn’t blessed with future sight, she is blessed with a sense of indomitable compassion.

She proposes a plan.

“What?” 

“You can live here,” she says again. 

The silence that follows could rival graveyards. “Elain…I can’t do that. How would I pay you?” 

She tells him about the shop. 

“I don’t know anything about flowers.” 

“I’ll teach you.” 

“Elain —” 

“It’s temporary,” she insists. It’s a good thing all Archerons were born with an iron-clad persistence gene. “You can stay in the spare bedroom until you figure out your next move.” When he doesn’t say anything else, she adds, “You won’t be freeloading. You’ll be helping me out. I can’t fulfill as many orders without an assistant.” 

“I…don’t you think it’ll be weird? Sharing a space?” 

“On my life, I promise to keep your virtue intact,” she deadpans.

Azriel laughs. A deep, deep sound that comes from his belly. It is, quite literally, the most glorious thing Elain ever heard. 

“Thank you,” he says. “This is….I can’t even describe how gracious this is.” 

Elain’s body does not at all respond to this compliment in a tingly, somersault-y, or gushy way. Nope, that rush of happy warmth is probably something else. The sign of early menopause, perhaps. She should see a doctor.

“So it’s a deal?” She sticks out her hand. 

Azriel’s hazel eyes light with something she can’t describe. He reaches out to lace his ruined fingers with hers, every mark and ridge a map to something that Elain feels intent to discover. 

“It’s a deal.”

*** 

Thank you for reading, loves. 

Tagging these baes: @illyrianbeauty, @sunsummoner, @tessas-herondales, @jemma-nessian-and-elriel, @abillionlittlepieces, @tntwme, @rosehallshadowsinger, @maastrash, @julesherondalex, @wolffrising, @stardustsroses, @voiceoftheroses, @katexrenee, @highlady-brittney, @goldbooksblack,  @mariamuses, @alexisnm95, @tswaney17, @rowanismybae, @elide-lochan-salvaterre  @ourbooksuniverse, @cruelwickedthing, @shadowazriel, @a-trifling-matter, @kaliejane26, @wewhohavefailed, @elide-lochan-salvaterre, @empress-ofbloodshed, @lordof-bloodshed, @katshrev, @writer-reader-traveller, @whyyoumakemesadstahp, @captain-timetraveldreamer, @awesomethreedragons, @escapingtheconstrictingboxes, @thenameisjaida-blog, @moonbeammadness,  @leulivy, @fantasy-faes,  @poisonwhiterose, @fucking-winchester-trash, @maddieimhot@ame233, @xinyourdreamsx, @feyaelin-rowsand, @queenofillea1, @rosalesgold, @aelins-fire-queen, @rhysanoodle, @dreamerforever-5, @ben-roll-io, @azrielismycinnamonrollprimary, @hope-unswervingly, @illyriangarbage, @feysand-dot-acotar, @faequeenaelin, @illyrian-bookworm, @propagandaprincess, @musicmaam, @velarian-trash, @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn, @featherymalignancy

Send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged, untagged, or I forgot you because of a silly mistake.

Check out my full Masterlist in my Bio / I am Lady_Therion on AO3

[saltys-writings]

!Announcement!

(Fair warning: I’m rambling a lot here, the important part will be at the bottom of this post in bold text!)

Hello my dear readers/followers~!

It’s been over 1 1/2 years (February 14th 2019 actually - yes I just checked) since I made this blog. That’s a long time for me, and it was a time in which I think I could grow as a writer (and as a person too). I really had my ups and downs with this blog up until here, and I want to thank every single one of you for accompanying me on my journey ever since last year. 

A while back I cleaned up my blogs and reduced them to a handful that I’m actually updating and want to keep. However, I couldn’t throw away this one, even though for months I’ve been becoming more and more unhappy with it. It feels very messy by now due to several layout changes I had and didn’t apply to all my old writings, also the several unfinished and forever on hiatus works, plus the countless requests still sitting in my inbox that I’ll never actually be able to finish bother me a lot. I found out more than once that I just cannot for the life me continuously and reliably write requests (or in general write), because I’m the type to write for myself mostly, and because having creative and time consuming tasks to do stresses me a lot. Still, I want to share what I write, or else I wouldn’t have made a writing blog in the first place.

Almost four months ago I made a second writing blog, that was originally supposed to be smut only. However, as it feels like a safe space for me that saltys-writings could never be, I’ve been considering just moving over there entirely. And I think this is where I will realize that idea. Basically the plan is that I just use my other blog entirely for writing whatever I want or can come up with. And though I’m not planning on taking requests regularly over there from now on, I would very much appreciate it if some of you would join me there if you’re interested in reading my future works!^^ 

So bottom line: I will keep this blog so that all my writings on here stay available for anyone who might stumble upon this place and enjoys reading my stories^^ However, with this saltys-writings will go inactive, and I will post my writings over at @sxcret-garden from now on!

(I will also move some of my favourite pieces over to the other blog in one way or the other, but most of it will just stay here. I’m also not planning on taking the requests from here with me over to the other blog, however I might end up writing one or two of them in the end. I’m very sorry about this.)

[ktheist]

to my dear readers;

my journey on this blog has been a short but sweet one. i started out with zero expectation for a reader base which was what allowed me to write what i did. i wrote what i wanted and enjoyed.

some time after that, i started gaining traction. i started getting surprise feedback every once in awhile. it made me immensely happy that my writing has reached people and been told so in my inbox.

but that has also made me become greedy. i began to set standards for myself - began wanting more likes/notes with every long fic i publish and i get disappointed when it didn’t reach my expectation.

see, that’s the thing about expectations. the higher they are, the harder they disappoint when you don’t reach them.

and it’s not anybody’s fault except maybe tumblr’s algorithm. perhaps, i would have stayed longer if i haven’t noticed that i started getting less likes/traction after i posted pretty girls don’t get hurt. it didn’t bother me much because i was still of the mindset that i shouldn’t expect anything. it worked for awhile until it didn’t anymore. it’s like my presence on tumblr has been slowly wiped off. and my activity has dwindled down to zero as we speak. 

i have a sneaky suspicion that i’ve been shadowbanned - if such concept applies on here as it does on twitter. my latest fic doesn’t show up on searches even though i’ve never added or left out any tag that i’ve been using up until now.

be it as it may, i think this is my wake up call. perhaps, i’ve been stuck in one place for too long. but perhaps i’ll return - maybe on a different blog, maybe on a different platform.

as for my writings, i don’t know if i’ll leave them up or take them down yet! but in due time, if you see them slowly becoming inaccessible, you know the answer. but if they still are after months of my leaving, then i hope those who will come across it will enjoy it! if anyone comes across this post in the future and wish to talk to me about any of my fics, in the event that they’re still up, feel free to leave me an ask - my ask will always be open as long as my blog itself is still around. i may not reply to them but do know that every once in a blue moon, when i feel like i need to look back at my progress, i’ll be checking my blog. and mayhaps, i’ll see your ask.

the series i have going on are officially discontinued. it pains me to do this but i also know that there will always be more series published by other writers that shall sate your reading lust and will be appreciated by all of you the way mine have - i encourage you all to actively leave comments or let writers know how much you enjoy the work they put out. it’ll make their day or even week! trust me - i know.

so thank you, thank you, thank you for all my readers who read my writing, commented and reblogged. you’ve all made me immensely happy! and i wish nothing but the very best for you in whatever you choose to do in life. keep learning and improving as an individual and as a human. i hope we all get to incorporate what bts taught us in life and continue to make remarkable changes.

love, cara

7 june 2020.

[kisskissbanggang]

Surreptitious

[15min. Read/3.7k words -- Mystery Member👀xFemale Reader -- Idol!AU, NSFW/Smut -- Spoilers in Tags, Dubcon, Ethical Grey Areas, Paranoia, Dirty Secrets, Stuck/Trapped]

Masterlist | Feedback

You don’t really think I’d be like that, do you?

The cryptic message echoed in your mind as you worked. Someone in this very home knew what you didn’t even think you’d have to hide, and you couldn’t begin to figure out who. The anonymous message had shown up a couple nights ago – long after you’d stopped posting on your blog. Nearly half a year ago, you came on your student visa and packed up your blog, taking a small hiatus from this hobby that took up so much of your time. You loved learning everything you could about Korea, especially after already spending years learning the language. However, it wasn’t long before spending money was tight, and it looked like it may be time for a part-time job. Housekeeping wasn’t your first, or second, or even tenth choice, but here you were.

A couple months into your new job, and you were handed a new assignment: a few days a week at a high-profile home. What you weren’t prepared for, though, was whose home. The door opened and after you brought in some of your cleaning supplies, you finally caught glimpse of one of your clients… And nearly fell over. You were positive that out of the corner of your eye you just seen Jung Jaehyun. But that clearly couldn’t be the case, right?

Wrong. Sure enough, you met most of the members that day, doing a much better job than you’d hoped you would in containing how ridiculous this all was. Being a housekeeper for NCT was, quite honestly, something that sounded like the worst fan-fiction on the planet, which is what ultimately led to you revisiting your blog.

You had started writing fanfiction a couple years ago, just something fun to take your mind off the stress of school that would keep you mentally stimulated. The emergence of smut, however, was unexpected. You had gone through a rut of stress, anxiety over school and work, and too much inconvenient arousal, that it all culminated in a particularly surprising way during the process of a fic you had been stuck in. The reception to it was equally surprising, your followers both new and old voicing their approval of this direction. That development made it even harder to put the blog down, so you decided not to delete it. You never regretted it… Until now.

Admittedly, it was your new assignment that made you curious to visit your old blog. Would it feel eerie, actually knowing these boys in real life? Of course, you had also been excited to see what all your old friends had been up to, what everyone thought of any new developments since you’d been away, but now you were growing concerned that you would hate everything you’d done. You checked your notifications, the comments on your posts. The messages that had stacked up in your inbox were mostly sweet, though some were from antsy followers who were curious if and when you would return. Then, there was the message that was now currently bothering you.

You don’t really think I’d be like that, do you?

The wording perturbed you. It felt immediately unlikely that it was a typo. Was someone playing a joke on you? It was obviously referring to something you’d written, but what? The idea that it was one of the members certainly came to mind, but it seemed to be too ludicrous to be true. However, now that the thought was planted, it grew weeds quickly. You took solace in the fact that even if it were one of the members, they would have no way of knowing it was you… Right?

You had been scrubbing the hardwood in the living room when your worry really began taking shape. You were so engrossed in your work, frustrated in a particularly stubborn stain in the wood grain that you hadn’t noticed Yuta walk in, apparently amused at your focus. Only when he sat on the couch did you notice, startled into yelping and falling back on your ass.

“Jumpy, noona?” Yuta laughed, his warm smile offering more sympathy than his joke implied. You smiled back until you noticed he was holding up his phone.

“You didn’t catch that on camera, did you?” You nervously joked as you turned back to your work.

Yuta shook his head. “Oh! No, I’m just reading. Have you ever seen some of the stuff our fans write about us?”

You almost fell over again. “No,” you vaguely chuckled, “like what? Fan-fiction?”

“No,” Yuta replied, “I found this message board where this fan is picking apart all the outfits we wear to the airport. It’s interesting, but I really just threw on something from the rack.”

“Oh!” You quickly recovered, “But that begs the question: do you ever read fan-fiction?”

You turned back to see Yuta shrug from over your shoulder. “Not all of it. Just what’s written in Japanese or Korean. If it’s not translated well, a lot of it gets lost. And I never get paired up with Jaehyun for some reason. I’d read that no matter what language it’s in.”

The two of you had shared a laugh over his observation, but you felt a little sick until you got home that night. All your fics were written in English, but now you were absolutely never translating them. If you even kept your blog, that is. It felt oddly needling to have confirmation that any of the members really did read fan-fiction. You pulled open the blog again that night to see if, in fact, Yuta’s suggested pairing really didn’t exist, when you saw a new message.

So do you think of me when you write about me?

This was clearly a joke by some fan and you were insane to think otherwise. And, again, even if a member had found your blog, which was still so unlikely, they had no way of knowing it was you running it. Anyhow, what a silly question to propose. Of course you thought about each member you wrote about, but now those almost affectionate thoughts were laced with guilt.

The next day you were at the dorm, you had taken a few minutes before catching your bus home to relax, to collect your thoughts and breathe. You were enjoying a quick glass of wine in the kitchen, something the boys had regularly offered at the end of your day since you’d started here, and you hadn’t even noticed Johnny enter the room until you turned away from the counter. You yelped and nearly dropped your glass, much to Johnny’s chagrin.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asked, sweet as ever. “You seem tense.”

“Oh! No, no, just a lot on my mind.”

Johnny walked over and opened the fridge. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured. Johnny smiled warmly as he retrieved a soda from the fridge, popping it open and taking a sip as he turned to leave. “Well…” You bit at your lip as he paused, expectantly waiting. “This is such a dumb question, but your fans seem so… Passionate. Do you ever read what they write about you?”

Johnny thought about it and shrugged. “I try not to, to tell you the truth. It goes to my head or weirds me out, and no in between. But I’m glad they think I’d be a good dad. I want to be when I’m ready.” Johnny turned and left, leaving you to finish off your wine in silence as you thought.

The bus ride had been annoying, your mind clogged with what Johnny had said and feeling even dirtier and guiltier. Which response would your own writing stir in him? He’d said there’s no in between. If he’d ever found your work, would he be cocky or disgusted? And, above all that, now you were haunted by Johnny’s only real takeaway had been that the fans appreciated how much he wanted to have a family. What a good guy. And you had written filthy scenarios about him. You felt queasy for the rest of the trip home.

Another message had been waiting for you when you got home and opened your blog, your curiosity begging you to find something wholesome about Johnny starting a family.

You do know that you posted a picture with that bag you wear to the dorm, right?

You knew exactly what picture the message was referring to and went to go find it. The last thing you’d posted before putting the blog down was a photo of this very room, the caption simply “My new home for the next year.” Sure enough, there was your stupid bag sitting by the door. You felt so dumb. You felt so disgusting. You felt so exposed. Someone in the dorm really did know. Did you rather it be one of the members, or one of the staff, a possibility you’d barely dared consider? Your blog stared back at you, imploring you to put it out of its misery and delete it. No, you decided. No more childish paranoia. You would go to the dorm and figure out who was sending the messages, and then have a good conversation about what they would like you to do.

Then again, in all honesty, you should’ve expected this to be much harder than it sounded. The next time you were at the dorm, you inspected everyone’s faces for a knowing look of some kind and came up short. You had even changed out the bag you brought to the dorm, hoping to catch the attention of your mysterious messenger, but to no avail. It would’ve helped to feel bold enough to actually talk and figure it out, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. What would you even say? I’ve written graphic porn about the group but please let me keep my job didn’t exactly have a nice ring to it.

You helped yourself to a glass of wine once the house appeared empty in the afternoon. Everyone was out, running errands or busy with schedules, leaving you time and room to take down the curtains and wash them. You had just piled one set of curtains into the dryer in the small laundry room when you were finally relaxing and taking your break. Maybe you even had an opportunity to lightly snoop, to observe the living spaces and rooms and see if you could suss out who your anonymous friend was. Your planning was cut short, however.

“Did you come today since I was staying home?” Someone chuckled behind you, cut short as you whipped around in surprise, sending your wine glass all over Jaehyun’s chest and then clanging onto the floor. You sighed exasperatedly, immediately grabbing a roll of paper towels and blotting up the wine. “Oh, noona, I’m so sorry,” Jaehyun apologized, stooping down and helping you clean. You shook your head, not thinking as you hurried before the stain set in. You quickly diluted the remnants before wiping it up.

“Just because you were my bias, Jaehyun, doesn’t mean I’m trying to get you alone,” you laughed. Both yours and his ears turned red as you realized what a horribly inappropriate joke that was. “Oh, god, Jaehyun,” you winced, “I’m sorry. That was gross and uncalled for. Here,” you gestured down the hall to the laundry room, “I’m doing some laundry. You can bring me your shirt and I’ll clean it for you.”

“Really? Thank you.” Jaehyun smiled slyly before pulling the soaked shirt over his head and handing it to you. “I’m always surprised by how gracious our fans are,” he smirked, with a wink to top it off.

“What were you doing in here anyway?” You asked quietly to mask the waver in your voice. Jaehyun took another step closer, the subtle heat coming off his bare chest making you back up into the counter. He reached up and opened a cupboard before pulling down a box.

“Nothing,” he nonchalantly shrugged as he opened the box, “just grabbing a snack. Want some?” You could hear Jaehyun laugh quietly to himself behind you as you hurried down the hall, still blushing crimson as you rushed to the laundry room.

What the good hell was that about? Your thoughts ran wild as you yanked the dry curtains from the dryer and put the next set in before vigorously cleaning Jaehyun’s shirt for him. You were just getting the washing together when you realized the dryer wouldn’t start. Frantic, you checked to make sure the damn thing was plugged in and on in the first place, and then that the lint trap was clear. You opened the dryer, kneeling down to look inside. The curtain had snagged on the vent in the back of the dryer drum. Cursing to yourself, you elbowed your way into the dryer, trying to see in the dim light as you attempted to free the fabric without further damaging it.

Soon you were yanking at the dumb thing, trying to hold it together amidst all your frustration. Had Jaehyun really made you so flustered? Why did he suddenly ambush you today after having hardly interacted with you since you began here? All these questions swirled around your mind, distracting you more than enough until you were startled by something pushing you firmly further into the dryer. You cried out, muffled as you fell into the damp curtains, your exclamation continuing as you felt a pair of hands grip onto your waist.

Jaehyun exhaled a soft laugh behind you. “Why didn’t you tell me I was your bias, noona? We probably could’ve become fast friends if I’d known I’m your favorite.”

“Jaehyun,” you called back, “I’m sorry for what I said! It was horribly unprofessional. You can let me out now.”

“And,” Jaehyun continued, “I’m willing to bet that if I’m your bias, then you definitely do think about me when you write your little stories about me.”

“You!” You shrieked, surprised at your own fortitude as you struggled in Jaehyun’s grip. He still held fast, chuckling to himself in satisfaction. “You’re the one that’s been messing with me!”

“And you’re the one who’s been a bit naughty, haven’t you?” Jaehyun laughed behind you.

“Now who’s being inappropriate?” You asked accusingly. Jaehyun ignored you. His hips pressed into you, sending shivers straight through to your fingertips.

“I wonder if you get off on it,” he mused quietly, his thumbs massaging under the waistband of your jeans. “I wonder if you get excited, writing your fantasies.”

“What are you doing?” You asked nervously as Jaehyun teased the waist of your jeans lower onto your hips.

“I’m just acting the way you write me in your stories,” he said matter-of-factly, “you’ve thought about this, haven’t you?”

“I mean, of course I have,” you stammered, eyes widening as you felt Jaehyun stiffen behind you, “but that’s different, that’s just–”

“Online?” He countered. “In your stories? Sure. But this is real life. Wouldn’t you be crazy to pass this up? What, do you not want to?”

“I…” You trailed off as you thought, “No, it’s not that I don’t want to, I just–”

“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. I can just tell the staff that they hired a pervert,” Jaehyun laughed heartily as he easily stilled your sudden thrashing. “Calm down,” he admonished, “I’m just joking.”

“It’s not funny when it’s my job you’re talking about,” you bit back.

“But it is funny that it was me who found out. The guys wouldn’t be as into it. So feel relieved, because I would,” Jaehyun prodded you along, making you jump as his hands circled your waist to unbutton your jeans. His fingers were surprisingly gentle as he slid them down to your knees, traveling back up to softly touch the growing damp spot on your panties. “Do you know how much I’ve been thinking of this?” He asked quietly, almost a whisper.

“You have?” You shivered as he took his time pushing your panties down to your knees as well.

“Of course I have,” he replied, keeping a hand pressed down on the small of your back as he pushed his sweats down enough to let his cock spring free, “don’t you realize how excited I was when I realized you were who I was certain you are?”

You bit into your lip as Jaehyun firmly rubbed his length against your ass. “But I stopped writing,” you meekly offered.

“Why?” Jaehyun asked, groaning quietly as he teased the head of his cock against your dripping entrance. “Isn’t this the sort of thing your followers would go crazy over?”

You gasped sharply, reactively pushing your back hand against Jaehyun’s thigh as he worked his length into you. He waited a moment to see if you were adjusted before grabbing your hand and pulling it up behind your back. You both shared a moan as he nestled deep inside you. The whole scene must’ve looked surreal, your ass hanging out of the clothes dryer and Jaehyun holding you down to fuck you. He was right. Your followers would kill for this opportunity, or at least experience it the way you’d write it.

“Why am I always so rough in your writing?” Jaehyun asked, almost casually as he fucked you. “Do you really think I’m like that?”

You groaned as Jaehyun rocked you firm against the dryer walls. “No, it’s not that,” you struggled, “it’s that you have this confidence that suggests it,” you managed to get out between moans, “they’re really drawn to it… I’m really drawn to it.”

Jaehyun groaned deep at your words, his grip on the arm behind your back tightening as he thrust harder. You found yourself spreading your legs further. His length really filled you out, gave you just enough stretch in a way you’d only wondered about.

“Why were you so excited for this?” You asked. You’d already crossed so many lines, you may as well get answers.

“Wouldn’t you be? Someone who clearly likes you and thinks of you like that, it just makes sense to want to make it happen.”

“Sounds about right,” you mused to yourself, masked through moans as Jaehyun’s hips snapped against you. His other hand ran up your back to your hair, gripping tight at the root and tugging in time with his thrusts. He finally dropped your arm from his grasp, instead reaching down to rub your clit. You responded eagerly, angling your hips to get a better angle from both sensations and quickly contributing to your building orgasm.

“You sound so cute when you moan, baby,” Jaehyun said, “I never expected you to sound so dirty and adorable.”

You blushed deep again, yelping as Jaehyun let go of your hair to smack and grab onto your ass. His fingers smoothly circled your clit, slick with how aroused he made you. Even though you were more aware of it now, you couldn’t stop from moaning louder, your peak steadily building whether you wanted it or not. He gently pinched and rolled your clit between his fingers, surprising you into hitting your climax. Your dripping pussy clamped onto his cock, pulsing and milking him as you whimpered and moaned through your orgasm.

“Is that how you wanted me to fuck you, baby?” Jaehyun asked, voice saccharine behind you. You breathed hard, letting yourself come down before pushing him back an inch.

“I want you to fuck me like you would fuck me.”

Jaehyun actually stilled behind you, as if he had to think about that and consider it. He gently pulled you out of the dryer, helping you to stand on your shaky legs before picking you up and setting you on the edge of the machine. He pushed your jeans and panties down to your ankles to more easily spread your legs and step between them. His cock prodded back up against your opening. Jaehyun tentatively lifted your shirt and bra over your breasts, pausing a moment to look before he leaned down and kissed each. He stood back upright, taking a second to look into your eyes before he pressed a single kiss to the crook of your neck. You watched, curious and pleased as he took your face in his hands. Jaehyun kissed you, simply and affectionately as he sank his cock back into your heat. His arms wrapped around you, and you took in his scent as he held you close. His pace was gentler now, but not without the same he’d been maintaining. His surprisingly cute moans were muffled into your shoulder, earnestly growing quicker, more desperate with each thrust. It was easy to feel sweet towards this side of Jaehyun, much more easily approachable than how evilly playful he was just a minute ago.

“Baby, do you want to cum?” You asked nicely in his ear, clutching your knees around his hips as he methodically slid in and out of you.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jaehyun panted, “I’m getting there… But there’s one more thing.”

“What’s that, baby?” You asked.

“I know I always finish inside in your writing, but I hope you understand if I don’t this time.”

You both shared a breathless laugh before his moans hit a fever pitch. Jaehyun’s eyes scrunched shut in his intense pleasure, even as he pulled out. He firmly pumped his cock in his hands, groaning languidly as his cum shot onto the lips of your exhausted pussy. You both rested for a second, your fingers caressing the back of his neck as he caught his breath. He aimed the remnants towards your panties as he pulled them back up to your knees for you.

The air had shifted between the two of you. You knew what had changed, but it was hard to place Jaehyun’s feelings. His expression was a mystery as he adjusted himself back into his sweatpants.

“So…” You prodded, “what now?”

You were both startled as the front door opened, someone outside announcing their return home. You hopped off the dryer and scrambled to make yourself presentable again. The cum in your panties was cold and damp up against you. Jaehyun simply grinned that same playful grin at you.

“I don’t know. How good are you at keeping secrets?”

“Pretty good,” you replied, suddenly wary, “but what about you?”

Jaehyun shook his head as he kissed the top of your head before heading towards the laundry room door. “I’m perfectly fine at it, but what you should really be asking is… why should I?”

You watched, unsure and still painfully excited as he winked and walked out into the hall.

[budzdorovanatasha]

Ahhh, you truly should do all the relationship asks for Nat x r!! Or at least maybe #2, 4, and 6? ❤️

I flipped out seeing you come into my inbox omg 💕 I’m such a huge fan of ur writing! I was going to just do 2,4, and 6, but then my love for natasha romanoff kicked in on full-steam and i did end up doing them all aldkjfalfj

*as always, no reblogging to non-sick blogs, thanks :)

1. Who gets sick most often?

You, without a doubt. Nat suffered through terrible things in the Red Room in order to boost her immune system to god tier. Sometimes though, you can make it more than a year without getting sick. And then sometimes, you’re sick every other month.

2. Who is the better care-taker? Who fusses the most?

Natasha fusses the most. She’s constantly thinking about what she could do to make you feel better, and making sure you’re not overexerting yourself. Nat doesn’t like it when you do anything but rest when you’re sick. She’s always checking your temperature or asking if you need anything or just running her fingers through your hair. It’s a close call for who is the better care-taker, but you win. You know exactly what Natasha needs when she’s sick, which is important, considering she’s not always good at taking care of herself. She’s a good care-taker too, but sometimes she fusses just a bit too much.

3. Who always blesses the other when they sneeze? Is it always a certain way?

You always bless Nat. She usually does for you too, which you find endearing, considering she doesn’t always bless others. You tend to put a lot of empathy in your voice when you bless her, saying ‘bless you baby’, which sometimes makes her feel a little self-conscious if you’re out with others. She has a habit of sometimes tucking your hair back behind your ear after you sneeze, which you find adorable. Natasha sometimes blesses you in Russian, but at random times. The first time she said it, you were uber confused, but didn’t ask. Eventually you caught on to what it meant.

4. Do they try and work through being sick? Or is one of them a total baby?

When Nat just has a cold, she’s acting like everything’s completely normal. She finds it annoying, but it’s nothing that should interrupt her daily life. But when the cold is at its peak, and she’s sneezing in multiples and holding back coughing fits, it’s harder to ignore. You swoop in at the right time, and she turns into the opposite of what people think when they think Black Widow. Suddenly Nat’s cuddling into you, nuzzling her nose against your neck, and trying to steal some of your body heat. You take her back to bed and she sticks to you like a limpet. You act the same as her when you get sick, though there’s more of an element of hiding it. Natasha doesn’t necessarily hide when she’s sick, she just doesn’t acknowledge it until she has to. You, on the other hand, just try and hide it, and deny it, until you can’t. It doesn’t last long, being that Nat’s a spy. Even when you let down your guard and cuddle into her, admitting defeat, you aren’t really a baby about it. You hate having to bother other people, which is why you try and hide it in the first place.

5. When’s the point when they stop working and eventually rest? Does the other force them to rest before they want to?

(I literally forgot what my own prompts were and so I half answered this above, but). Nat stops working when her sickness gets in the way of work. You usually have to try and tell her to rest, but she’ll take some breaks if she’s feeling bad enough. You rest as long as no one needs you, and if Nat is on a mission and isn’t there to notice right away that you’re sick. If she’s home, you won’t rest until she notices you’re sick and tells you to rest.

6. Which one gets hit harder when they’re sick?

Natasha, unfortunately. She hates it too, because she doesn’t really get sick very often. It’s like your poor girlfriend can’t catch a break- it takes nearly two weeks for her cold to go away, and she always has a cough associated with it. Nat always gets fevers with her colds too.

7. Do either of them try to hide the fact that they’re sick? From each other?

Nat doesn’t necessarily try and hide it, she just doesn’t make a thing of it until it’s noticeable. When people do notice, you usually being the first, the cold isn’t bad enough for her to not go about her day. She’ll admit she’s sick though. You are constantly hiding it, until you can’t anymore. Natasha notices fairly quickly. But you’re sometimes able to hide it from the team completely. Nat will sometimes tell them, depending on how sick you are, but she knows you hate it, and respects that, as long as you let her take care of you.

8. Who’s the messy one when they’re sick? Leaving blankets strewn about, tissues all over the floor, etc.?

Natasha is definitely the messier one, but only after you’ve gotten her to rest in bed with you. Then there’s tissues all over the bed and the floor, and blankets in piles everywhere. If you’re exhausted, sometimes you’ll leave tissues strewn about the floor, along with a few blankets scattered on the bed, but normally you’re trying to hide your illness, so you’re fairly neat about it.

9. Are either of them germaphobes?

Nope. As Avengers, you’re both used to filthy mission conditions sometimes. And you both want to take care of each other, no matter if that means getting sick, so you’re not scared of germs. Nat almost tries to challenge the germs it seems, still kissing you when you’re sick, even though you try and stop her.

10. What are their most noticeable symptom when they get sick?

In the sense of actual symptom, for you, it’s a runny nose and the constant sniffling that goes with that. But what causes Natasha to first notice you’re sick is your quietness. You don’t talk much because your throat hurts (And you’re trying to hide it). When Nat pairs your silence with sniffles, she knows what’s up. For Natasha, the most noticeable symptoms are congestion and a slight red tinge to her nose.

11. Are they complainers?

No, not really ever. The only time Nat complains when she’s sick is when her fever is fairly high, and you won’t let her have more blankets. She whines about and it makes your heart break, seeing her shiver. You don’t really complain either. The closest you get to complaining is a huff of annoyance when you sneeze directly after blowing your nose.

12. Have either of them ignored their little cold until it turned into pneumonia/other more serious sickness?

With how much you try and hide the fact that you’re sick, You’ve surprisingly never let it get too much worse. Nat has, though. It only ever happens when you’re away on a mission and not there to really force her to rest. It’s also happened to her once when she was on a mission in freezing cold conditions. It’s not an often occurrence for her, though. You both take care of each other too well most of the time to let anything get worse.

[strongblacklesbian]

So...I don’t think you quite understood Georgia’s post as it has nothing to do with David’s age. Lady Godiva rode through town naked. David was naked in the studio. No one said you had to be a fan of Georgia but if you’re going to criticize her,at least get your facts straight. It’s this type of toxic behavior you have that makes people not want to be fans of your blog or even Billie anymore.

I can only guess what this is in reply to and in that post I *did* say don’t @ me lol bc I ain’t gonna read it. And I didn’t until now. I’ve been off this hecksite for a while lol I ain’t up on the drama. 

Sorry it’s a month late! 

But in all seriousness, my anonymous friend - A criticism is not the same as an opinion. I have a lot of criticism for her. Me saying she ain’t as funny as she thinks she is, is my opinion. And the facts have no bearing on it, bc I had to do some backtracking to figure out wth you were referring to. It had nothing to do with her post about that joke. It was her comment about him finally getting out of a hoodie, actually. (edited to change this bc I then remembered lol.) I know she wasn’t serious but she does it a lot and I just don’t think it’s cute. But obviously he does bc he married her. So my opinion doesn’t matter lol. And if you’re gonna tout facts wrt to jokes at me, probably best to make sure you’re not talking about a joke that was made two months earlier (three months total from now).

I digress. We don’t have to share opinions. 

I am struggling to work out how I can be so toxic... when I’m not here hardly at all? I left out her surname and any tags to that end. But you are as welcome to take umbrage nonetheless just as I am to roll my eyes at her snide remarks. Also don’t let me impact your opinion of Billie, seriously. She’s amazing. Go watch her new show if you don’t believe me. But if you don’t find yourself a fan of it - that’s okay too. That’s an opinion you might have. I won’t even be all nasty in your inbox if you share it. In the tags even. Go for it. Watch me not even bother you about it. 

I don’t really care what people think of my blog, to be frank. If I did, I would have bothered to keep it active beyond my occasional hopping on or sharing pictures of my ridiculous furballs. I’d like to say I’m shout this all to the void but you cared enough to check on my blog and also post this. So maybe however late this is, you’ll see this too idk. 

Don’t waste your time on me. Go enjoy your passions! Live your best life! Enjoy Georgia’s amazing humor that I do not!