#did you know that im gay for her and her alone
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sturniolo04 · 2 days ago
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could you do another sturniolo little sister one? but maybe where she hasn’t come out to her brothers yet and she’s secretly dating madison beer and they catch her or find out somehow
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sls!fwb!reader x fwb!Madison A/N: I hope you enjoy this it was definitely out of my normal for sure in terms of what I write, sorry it took me so long to get this completed. Also, if you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you- Charli
Dividers: @bernardsbendystraws
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Layla and her brothers were always super close even though she is the youngest in the family and there was nothing you haven't told your brothers; you tell each other everything... except this one thing
That one thing being that you are gay and have been having a thing for you guys' best friend, Madison. It wasn't that you didn't trust them with this information, you just simply couldn't figure out how to tell them about this identity change and secret friends-with-benefit relationship you were currently journeying on. This is resulted in the shameful feeling of sneaking behind your brother's back and you knew you were going to have to tell them at some point and figuring out how you were going to do so.
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"do we have to go to this party guys I kind of wanted to stay at home"
Layla groans out simply because she knew that madison would be there and being at a party like that wouldn't necessarily cover the sneaking around, I mean anything could happen anything.
"why wouldnt we"
chris shrugs as him and matt walk into your room where you and nick were since nick was helping you get ready against you will.
"i dont know its just not our scene"
you kind of lie it being not your scene.
"oh stop it will be fun plus you look good"
nick states as looks at your finished look in the mirror pulling your hair behind your shoulders.
'almost too good"
matt groans out going into protective mode before we even get to the party, little did they know. You let out a little huff in defeat just agreeing to go to the party and subtly hoping nothing bad happens.
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"madison"
nick exclaims as you guys finally run into her at the party which was bound to happened.
"hey you guys how are you"
she greets hugging your brothers in a group hug. you stand there kind of awkwardly, blushing slightly at how good she looked tonight.
"yeah i feel like we havent seen you in a while"
matt states as nick and chris agree.
"yeah it definitely has been a minute but I mean i've-"
she trails off pushing some of her brown hair behind her ear showcasing her iconic hoop earrings you always loved on her. it was just something about how to complimented her face, skin tone and her brown doe eyes.
" hung out with layla"
she shyly states as you two make eye contact with each other as she softly smiling.
"oh yeah we have you know girl time"
you agree breaking eye contact with her looking everywhere else but her eyes.
"oh she is the favorite i see"
chris jokes as shoves your shoulder slightly.
"yeah she is"
madison giggles as she abruptly cuts herself off wanting to get you alone away from your brothers.
"im actually im going to steal her you wont be needing her anytime soon"
madison jokes with your brothers grabbing your hand pulling you away from the three.
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you and madison a snuck off to random empty room in the house to get some time with you.
"finally"
madison giggles taking your hands in hers after closing the door.
"hi"
she softly whispers out giggling pushing some hair out of your way behind your ear. A pink tint rising on your face looking down at the carpeted floor.
"you look good"
you sigh out subtly biting your lip and looking into her eyes as you two begin lean in.
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"yo where did madison and layla go"
chris questions matt and nick as he makes his way over to where they were sitting.
"i dont know they were somewhere"
matt shrugs ready to go home already.
"i think madison went upstairs but im not sure where layla went though"
nick states looking at his phone then up at his younger triplet brother.
"isnt madison sleeping over though lets go find him I'm honestly ready to go"
chris groans out as matt and nick stand up to follow him upstairs.
"same here im soo ready to go"
matt agrees as they begin to trek upstairs. They slowly make their way to the door not even thinking to knock before opening it.
"oh"
matt states shocked as you and madison pull away.
"i can explain"
you rush out.
"wait layla youre gay"
nick questions with his jaw dropped.
"ye-yeah"
you stutter out finally admitting it
"i just didnt know how to tell you guys I'm sorry"
you rush out again and nick comes up to you resting his hands on his shoulders.
"lay its okay we support you plus"
nick chuckles out
"we love you either way"
chris chimes in as him and matt make their way over to you as well as madison as she beings to rest her head on your shoulder.
"okay"
you sigh out.
"plus yall are cute or whatever"
matt jokes.
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Taglist @mintsturniolo @dirtylittleheart333 @wh0resstuff
@stayingstromboli @spicymuffins03 @chaoswithus @ksturnz
@emely9274
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archivedbyebye · 1 year ago
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MY WIFE
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year ago
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OH WHAT EXCELLENT TIMIJG. KILLS MYSELF
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caruliaa2 · 1 year ago
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what if you needed reassurance abt smth very specifc . and you wanted to go to a specifc person for the reassurance. but that person is so busy ad talking abt and getting reassurance abt this thingwas also a topic that you know your upsetness abt lead to them feeling bad too becuase hastag every single thing i touch become sick with sadness or whatever but then you where like oh i know. i have what they said writen down someonewhere in mydrawer my drawer of things theyve said to me i think its actually at the very top of my drawer even so i dont have to do searching thru things and then im like oh yeah my drawer is in a room with a bunch of my other shit and the key was stolen by someone whose refused to even listen to me when ask if they can maybe unlock the drawer and this has been the case for THREE WEEKS NOW STAFF UNSHADOWBAN @CARULIAA NOW !!!! @staff @support @joebiden @taylorswift @god @carmensandiego
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vamptastic · 3 months ago
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for all that i am very chill about what other people do with their romantic and sexual lives i am so utterly and completely ashamed of expressing any sort personal desire for basically no reason. i will blame it on being treated as both a potential sexual predator and a sex object growing up GNC, and also the inner freud that forms in your mind when you read the writings of transphobes too much. but it's still dumb. i wasn't even raised christian.
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lesbians-all-the-way-down · 8 months ago
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My life won't be complete until I name the other lead in the historical fiction I've decided I'm going to write.
#but I've decided that the reason Jo and the other one get to stay together after the war without question#is because they always just claim they understand each other in ways no one else could.#it makes me kind of sad that they cant have kids so i might give Josie a husband that dies in the war#that when one wakes up screaming the other knows exactly why and is the only one who does.#because they were together through the whole war. they saw the same things.#i might also give one a husband? it wouldn't be Josie.#he would die. that would be part of the excuse too.#“well why don't you nice women marry soldiers? they know the horrors too#“she did. her husband died capturing Passchendaele and you want her to just replace him?#she is a mourning widow. And i am just a friend who understands.#i might give them both husbands. but it depends.#(Josie gives off agreement vibes. like they're both gay and in love with someone so they act as beards)#(whereas the other one gives off “im pretending I like men so he can be happy and i can be accepted” vibes)#but anyway i might give Josie a husband that dies in the war. and then the other one's husband would live through it and they'd stay married#but he would kill himself (within the year probably) as so many soldiers did. and she would be pregnant.#so that they could have a kid. because i think they deserve a kid.#god josie wouldn't know she wants kids but shed be such a good mom if it came down to it#but wait#ww2 if they wanted to sign up for it one of them would have to stay with their kid#I'd think Josie would be the one to go back and serve again. shes suited for it. she was in charge.#but she was wounded. bad i think. possibly just a leg injury but I'd love to go abdominal.#so she was probably honourably discharged. she can't go back. it would have to be the other one.#I don't think my heart could kill off either of them but especially not the other one if it would leave Josie and their kid all alone#james is rambling again#ocs#rambling#thoughts#writer#writing#original character
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ewwgene-fitzherbert · 2 years ago
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lrb
#i am genuinely obsessed with im/ogens homecoming in the last ep it was so delightfully awkward and painful#everything from the fact that she didnt hide her identity and just glared at the townsfolk#and the way she spoke to her father!!! ohhh obsessed with it#and her 'daddy you couldve warned me' 'i havent asked anything of you in a long time' 'i never want you to be afraid of me' OUGHHGHG. cries#lau/ra ba/iley how do you expect me to just live my life after this#rly into the whole thing with her dad not showing her physical affection woahhh#and then theres lau/dna and fea/rne la/udna always holding her hand sleeping next to her fe/arne obsessively touching her arm#(to cast guidance obv. cute little pretext to touch ur lady friend. im onto u f/earne)#idk just!! the way bh arent afraid of her or repulsed and dont feel the need to distance themselves from her#also the way rel/vin was so bitter abt lil/iana leaving him fdhdjhfj tragic but i laughed#i mean its so sad but ?? there Has to be smth abt the fact that she never told him abt her powers right. lol#i also loooove the parallel of: parent sees danger; needs answers (li/liana; ollie) but then with the call/oways its: the couple goes#together; leaves the child behind- and with the te/mults its: the husband refuses(?) to follow- stays home with the daughter#idk its just. smthing abt the fey fam sticking together and lil/iana going alone#wheres the 3rd couple who takes the kid with them lmao#or maybe li/liana just left:( with her new gf i guess if ot/ohan was so hot and sexy and was into astrology and shit woah. fair thats gay#also rel/vin not even acknowledging laudna wow?? so like does he know why imogen snapped and murdered a bunch of ppl or.#does he think it was on a whim lol. i need mORE LOREEE#also him getting so defensive when fe/arne asked for lil/ianas belongings lmao fair fair#i liked that he did the im/ogen thing that she does where she takes a while to formulate a response#and they like rethink each and every word. and they hesitate so much and then their response is so short Yes thats so good. thank u matthew#when u could tell he wanted to say something but he couldnt figure out how or if he should and he just. gave her a pat on the shoulder. yea#ugh terrible SO GOOD#big fan!!#love it when characters cry at just the mention of their hometown thats how u Know its gonna hit#huge#huge big fan#my post
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marrycv · 8 months ago
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Muse
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rockstar!ellie x reader
warnings : SMUT!!, no to consentement (happened with a men ellie saved us), alcohol, ✂️✂️✂️, swearing, age gab? (ellie be like 2-3 years older), thigh riding (r ! receiving), fingering (r ! receiving)
idk if thats all but i worked hard on this one 😜
enjoy!!
“Cmonnnnn we’re gonna be late!!”
“not my fault you took 2 hours in the shower?”
you and your bestfriend were getting ready for that little concert that was in your city. it was so rare you had finally something fun to do, and the best part of it, is that your favourite band was gonna be there. you were so excited to go there, but your bestfriend was just making you nervous, in the worst way ever.
you had a denim mini skirt with a lace crop top in black with some leather jacket, classic ‘rockstar girlfriend’ outfit if you’d search it on pinterest. but, it was a rock show anyways, so you were fitting in that vibe.
you had a little smug eyeliner with some star glitter around your eyes. your best friend has some too. exited by the fact that you two were matching like some 13 years old teenagers.
“okay, im ready”
“about time!! now come on, i dont wanna arrive while its crowded, wanna have the best view” she tells you while bringing you outside towards her car
“girl did you know my fav band are gonna be here??”
“ugh omg you said it at least one thousand times…” she sighs
“okay okay, will you be less annoyed when i tell you they look like this :” you said as you showed her the guitarists and the singer. they were 3 and your age. absolutely gorgeous people.
“YOOOOOOOOO!!!” Layla said, looking at the picture of the three bend’s members.
“rightttt?!!!”
“okay but look at the men?”
“his name is Jesse, one of the guitarist. currently dating the other guitarist” you informed her, for only her smile dropping at the deception.
“look, thats the singer” you continue “her name’s Ellie, and shes SO fucking hot, and shes gay”
“lesbian?” she asks you while she starts driving towards the location for tonight.
“yeah, literally everyone who listen to their music is because all the fans envy her. i dont blame them tho”
“what about the other guitarist?” she asks you, now interested in them
“Its Dina, Ellie’s ex”
“WHAAAAAT ??? nowayyyy”
you two laugh at the drama you shared to layla. it was funny gossiping and her finally showing some interest in what you liked.
-
arrived there, it was already crowded. nobody was on stage yet, but it was definitely bigger than you expected.
you friend touched your shoulder, knowing how much noisy places made you so uncomfortable.
“what aboouuuuuut we get VIP tickets for a quieter place mhh?”
“Layla? its too expensive i cant afford that, ill just- support it” you tell her, looking at your phone trying to distract yourself
“too late babe i bought us some” she says, looking at you with the biggest smile. eyes disappearing and teeth showing. She was your sunshine.
“whaaat? you shouldn’t have- im gonna repay you when i can okay?”
“nuh huh, its our night and my gift, okay?”
you nod and smile, worries erased by her gentle smile.
it was true, it was you guy’s night, and no anxiety would take that away.
In the VIP room, there was mostly middled aged men with some really young, but beautiful girls in their company. all already wasted. from here, you could be so close to the stage you thought if the artists would be close enough, you could touch them. you also had access to the backstage, which was an insane opportunity.
some normal people, like your age hanging out with people their age were also in the VIP. it was less awkward with all of those creepy men probably were ‘sugar daddies’
“im gonna grab us a drink ill be back, yeah?” layla whisper-screams in your ears then vanishes to the bar.
you look around you, analyzing the people. then get on your phone, just to seem lees alone.
“Hey you gorgeous lady, would you mind some company?” a raspy voice said
you look towards the voice and see a men, probably 25 years old, but obviously drunk and maybe also high.
“i already have company, but thanks” you said, gently, not wanting anything to happen.
“oh, but i dont see anyone babygirl…” he said as he leaned closer to you while you backed off a little.
his eyes widen, completely surprised by your non interested move.
“im not gonna bite youuu, only if you ask me to” he says and winks at you while touching your arm, going closer and closer to your breast.
“um.. no thanks..” you said, trying to get away, searching around for layla’s figure somewhere around…
“why are you so fucking rude? huh? cant even be happy someone wants to be with you mh? ‘lil slut..” he said as his grip on your arm was tightening, probably gonna leave a mark after.
“please-“ you started but got cut by someone else, behind you two
“she said no man”
the men looks behind him, feeling his grip on your arm going insanely tight. you hiss by the pain.
“she’s with me” he answers to the girl you yet didn’t dare to look at, feeling embarrassed by this whole situation
“are you with this man, miss?” the girl asked you.
her tone completely shifting from raspy, loud and angry to sweet and gentle. making you look up from the ground to see the Ellie Williams defending you. you answer her a small ‘no’. scared if you talked louder the men would take away your arm at this point. or scared you’d cry from anger. the tight feeling you felt in your throat was cutting your voice to get through, if the knot would get destroyed, you’d probably sob right here, but it would only get tighter, feeling like it was taking the oxygen away from your lungs. feeling like it was choking you so it couldn’t pass anymore. would only make your heart beat slower due to the little air you were able to breathe. but you felt like it was beating faster, like you just ran kilometers and stopped suddenly. making your body react in a bad way in the sudden change.
but that was only a feeling.
you just looked, away.
you could hear Ellie yell at the men until his grip on you left to only see his arm swing towards ellie’s face. only that she dodged his punch smoothly. almost satisfying to watch her doing it like she was the finest fighter in the world.
but the slowmo and the muffled voices stopped and when Ellie punched him. Everything was too loud and too clear.
blood getting out of the man’s mouth. attacking Ellie back. everyone screaming and getting away from the fight, creating a non purpose circle.
suddenly it wasn’t a rock show, but a fight show.
Once Ellie completely knocked out the men, him completely passed out on the ground, blood all over his face. she went towards you
“You okay?” she asked, gently as she didnt even just fought with someone like she was gonna kill him.
you simply nodded to her, shocked by this whole situation, never wanting it to end up this way.
“come with me, yeah? ill get you some water and… clean you up” she said looking at your cheek, having some blood on it.
you just followed her into her lodge. it was quiet and cozy.
nobody was in there, but you were kinda nervous about the fact that you were literally with a celebrity.
“sit down” she obeyed.
you sat on the closest chair you saw, following her orders like a dog, still under shock.
ellie took a glass and poured water in it, placed it on the table next to you, then took a small towel and again, put water on it. she came real close to you, her head titled on the side a little bit, her fingers took your chin and made your head move a little bit on the side. she took the towel and took the blood away from your cheek. probably the men’s blood. ellie didn’t have one single scratch. only her knuckles were brushed.
you watched her taking care of you like a little kitten she had found on the road and just, felt bad for it.
her eyes were concentrated on what she was doing, her fingers touching you so gentle, so softly. her bottom lip between her teeth due to the concentration. she might looked so rough earlier, but here? she was the softest person you’ve ever laid eyes on.
“here..” she said as she stopped what she was doing. she sat next to you, with concerned eyes. she suddenly cared so much about you.
“thanks” you whispered, looking down to the glass of water in front of you.
“dont thank me, this guy was an asshole. are you hurt?” she asked looking at your arm, knowing he was holding it.
“if i were you id worry more about your hands” you said looking at them, all bloody and swallowed.
“its okay, dont worry about me…” She said getting up to grab some ice for your arm
“no, take it.” you said, putting it on her fingers trying to ease her pain from defending you.
the room went silent, a comfortable silence. the ones where you didnt rush do say anything or where you werent overthinking to find a subject to talk about.
Ellie on the other hand, was going insane. You were so pretty and you had a pin on your purse about their bands which meant that you were a fan. which meant you knew about her and listened to her music. the silence was driving her insane. she’d just wish she was a normal person who weren’t screaming for her name out there. screaming for her and the fact that they all wanted her. like she was theirs. but she didn’t want that. she wanted to be yours, and it wasn’t gonna be easy. she thought you were scared by her, she thought you saw her completely different now, that you’d stop listening about her being so so toxic with girls with the best beat dina and jesse could ever put to make everyone forget about how of an asshole she was.
about how the girl was hers but she wasnt the theirs. about how she just fucked the girl cause she was bored.
but now, you could saw her as a crazy girl that punches someone almost to death. someone dangerous.
you were just too pretty for this man, for this treatment. she would have done this for anyone, but taking care of them after? nahhh she wouldve just walked away.
“whats your name..?” Ellie asked, looking dead up in your eyes like she wasn’t going crazy on overthinking.
“my name’s ______” you tell her.
“im uh, im Ell-“
“Ellie Williams, yeah i know”
“of course you do..” she sighed at herself.
“fuck- i uh my friend… she’s gonna be dead worried!! fuck fuck” you say, completely on panic mode
“hey, hey, hey, its okay, just send her a message to let her know youre all good, im not letting you out there again, something worse could happen to you.” she says, in a stern tone.
“you worried about me Williams?” you ask her, calmed but surprised by her reaction, slightly titling your head a little bit. the small amount of alcohol in your system making you bolder than you ever could.
“believe it or not sweetheart, i care about my fans”
something in what you said activated Ellie’s dangerous side. she was gonna torture you and never let you go.
“dont you have a show you have to do? for the caring of your fans?”
“i believe they can wait a little bit, dont you think?” she smirked at you.
that goddamn smirk she’d have in those pinterest pictures of her if you searched up her name on the search bar. that smirk when she was on live and someone would tell how much they loved her. or when her fans would ask her to sign on their boobs.
that smirk.
“how disappointed i would be if i was one of those, knowing you were just sitting in here with someone you didnt even knew”
“mhhh i wouldnt care less doll”
you blushed at the nickname, you’d cringe if someone else would’ve called you like that, but the way she said made your panties grow a little wet spot faster than you thought your body could.
you shifted a little bit in your chair, uncomfortable by how sweaty you’ve just became.
“dont you think its hot.. in here?” you said, praying for her to not notice it was because of how much your heart was pumping, making you red everywhere.
“follow me” Ellie said, getting up and walking in another room. you were almost too shaking to even walk but you managed to make your way to ellie. she was in a small bedroom. how could you know lodges had bedrooms? no idea.
“we have those bedrooms if someone from the bend is tired or dont feel good, very useful. i think it was Beyoncé that asked that”
“you know beyoncé???” you asked completely amazed
“uhhh, no. im a small artist, not a pop star” she laughed and made herself comfortable on the bed.
you sat next to her, but shy enough to keep your distance away from her a little.
Ellie just grabbed a guitar that was hanging on the wall and started to play a little melody. her fingers stroking the strings so perfectly, making them some beautiful note and then you recognized the song. she was signing one of hers.
its like you were in a dream, the room was so dark but there was lights everywhere, hanging like a teenage room. making able to see everything with the most perfect lighting, you were able to see the intense shadows from ellie’s perfect muscles. aligned how it was made, like god modelled them himself with his own hands. the way she was just there looking at where her fingers were at to know what note to play next. her foot tapping around with the beat. her hair being lighten by the small yellow lights, making her auburn hair look way more softer than usual.
you couldn’t contain yourself at the sight.
“wanna try?” Ellie asked, handing you the guitar with smile on her lips… her perfect lips- ok stop this madness.
“i- i dont know how to play”
“ill teach you- here, put it on your legs…” she then got closer and took your hands to place them to make a chord. “and here is the chord C major” she smiled at you. “easy right?”
“sure, if i dont count the fact that my fingers are about to explose”
she looked at you and laughed, you did the same. you felt now so comfortable with her.
“alright..” she said,
“get in my lap imma teach you some other stuff.”
“huh?”
“the guitar, you trust me?”
she said, clarifying your dirty mind.
“uh yeah, i do” you said then sat in front of her, between her legs. she wrapped her arms around you and guided your fingers, showing you the chords. one by one.
her fingers felt sooo good on your skin, you were just wondering how good they felt inside of you.
you knew that what you were feeling was wrong, that you two just met but you couldn’t help to press your ass to her crutch. Ellie’s words stuttered, and so did yours. every words were slower and her mouvements were more sensual, if you werent delusional.
the tension just kept growing and only one more move and it could be done for the both of you.
she pressed her head in your shoulder. still teaching you. a hand on yours- guiding you and another on your hip… and she just made you get closer to her, as you could even get closer. you were trying to not moan at this point. what she was doing, ‘teaching’ you guitar and making your heart skip a beat, pretending like nothing else was happening, like it was just all in your imagination. but the feeling was so strong, so strong.
you felt her lips stroking against the skin of your neck while she was whispering you the instructions of the next chords.
crazy how an hour ago you were with your bestfriend, being exited about just seeing ellie live, and here you were, she was literally teaching you how to play guitar with hers. this felt all like it was some kind of prank, too good to be true, but you were just there to enjoy yourself at 100%.
Ellie’s hand on your hip was now playing around on your thigh, she’d tell you how good you were doing. she then moved her hand, painfully slow in your inner thigh. your breathing was speeding up like she was already in you…
she has just touch you so little.
you craved her so much.
you let her get higher, she stoked her fingers on your clothed cunt, could feel the wet spot on your panties that was growing since you got into her lodge.
“is this okay?” she asked you. scared she was taking everything too far, but you just pushed her hand closer to where you needed her the most.
Ellie took the guitar away from the both of you and turned you over so she could see your face.
your legs wrapped around her waist and now both of her hands were on your hips.
the atmosphere completely changed. it was romantic and comfortable 2 seconds ago, and now its so much more intense, the room feels hotter and your nervousness is on the top of your head controlling you to stay still.
“ellie…” you whined.
that made ellie so much more bold. her hands moved up from your hips to your cheeks, not forgetting to touch every part of your skin that was on the way. it wasn’t too slow and either too fast, just enough to realize she was getting closer and closer while her eyes switched on your eyes to your lips. you leaned in, like she was a magnet, pulling you towards her. her lips on yours felt the most right thing you’ve ever felt. they were so soft, so warm, so so tender against your lips. the kiss turned into a make out soon enough like it was a relief from all the tension that had built. her tongue dancing against yours, feeling this feeling of euphoria in your whole body, only catching yourself needed more and more.
unconsciously, your hips were rocking against any pressure you could find. ellie stopped her kisses to only replace them on your neck. you tilt your head to give her more access. you had no idea what you were doing, its like your body went into full control and your mind was just beyond the clouds, seeing the stars when her knee pressed against your clothed cunt. a moan and a a relief sigh escaped your lips.
all was happening so fast and ellie was taking your shirt off, as you were doing the same to her, like in those romantic movies when the two characters find eachothers and they get heated in the moment. like there wasn’t time, like you were late to somewhere.
ellie’s fingers found their way, once again on your clit.
“you mind if i take this off?” she asked, with a smirk, but you could see her cheeks blushing, her breath being fast… her hands shaking.
you nodded, way too speechless of the goddess in front of you
“words, i need words baby”
“take it off” you saw, looking at your legs that were still wrapped around ellie’s waist.
ellie layed you down on the bed, now on top of you, looking at you up and down, analyzing your body. she gently touched the hem of your skirt to take it off. you lifted your hips up to help her. her mouvement were painfully slow, as she was trying to make this sooo memorable.
your panties along with your hips were now on the floor of the room. laying with only your bra left.
ellie’s lips returned to yours, while you could feel her hands getting closer to where you needed her the most.
“ellie..?”
“yes, yes? what’s wrong?” she asked, genuine
“i uh.. can i ride on you?” you asked her, closing your eyes to try and hide yourself from the immense embarrassment you felt, but before you knew it, ellie stood up, you looked at her, clearly confused about what she was doing
to your surprise, she only stripped herself, finding her now completely naked. you could see her abs.. her biceps.. the ‘v’ kind of shape she had on her lower stomach.. her small, yet perfect boobs, only finding your mouth watering at the sight- and not only your mouth but your pussy was drenched too.
“are you gonna stop staring at me?” ellie asked as she climbed on top of you, kissing you- again
maybe she felt magnified to you too? just like you felt so attracted to her
you were winning in anticipation and excitement
naturally, her leg intertwined with one of yours so both of your clits were pressing against eachothers.
feeling her like that against you was heaven. grinding yourself against her was beyond beautiful. the scene was so pornographic that i’d create a new sin in the bible.
“els! im so.. close… fuck!!”
“me too, fuck.. together yeah?”
and just like that she gave a couple more trusts against you and you did the same, as your mouvements were synchronized, as if it was destiny to find her and make love with the love of your life.
you saw and felt fireworks, a big release escaped as you were almost screaming by pleasure. and ellie was just, amazed by your fucked expression she could cum again over and over by just being on top of you, looking at you this beautiful. she couldnt stop.
“els! please!” you said as you felt overstimulated by your previous orgasm.
“please give me another one, please.” ellie was begging at this point. as she needed it more than you, as she felt it in her.
she could go on and on, and you would let her abuse your cunt for the rest of your life if it felt like that.
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hoodedjelly · 6 months ago
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my Jenny, Tuck, Brad, Shelden, and Vega older designs ^__^
i'm watching mlaatr, still not done, i think i got like 10 more eps (and if i'm being transparent i skipped around eps... i just wanted to see vega...). And i'm absolutely loving the show!!!! i love these characters a lot, didn't like Shelden at first i'm going to be honest, #1 Shelden hater for a bit there. but he chilled out in season two and i started to ship breldon with that too so now i just love him so much.
more about my personal headcanons:
Jenny: - I am under the belief that she is transgender. Jenny was made genderless, so her deciding to be a girl was strictly her choice and i believe that makes her trans. (She's also a lesbian) - she did grow a bit, im not gonna explain how idc really i just liked her being a taller lady :-) - she has A LOT of different cute outfits and hair styles, honestly too much to draw. she never transforms back into her base show outfit when crime fighting, she just fights in her cute summer dress she don't care. - her and vega are dating grrgrgrrrr - when vega is in rule she makes it so there is complete free access between earth and cluster prime for citizens in both places. - I say that cause i think when jenny is older she moves in with vega, technically living in cluster prime but visits earth like everyday. And brad/shelby/tucker/wakeman visit cluster prime - Jenny also hangs out with the nicktoons unite gang, but i deffo feel like its just that secondary friend group that you don't talk to with for months. when you talk again its the same goofiness as before - i think danny calls for her help when he needs it (also manny) Tuck: - he is still a little shit but we love him - adhd boy - questioning cis (he/him) - he got into robotics/stem and builds little silly things - with that, he gets help from Shelby - pretty much just a silly teen, he's on the internet a lot and has "cringe" interests - but idk he's having fun and being silly and finding himself (those interests is stuff like sonic and among us) Shelden(Shelby) - honestly kinda nervous about ppl thoughts on my Shelden, idk it makes so much sense in my brain - hits you with the transfem beam (she/they) Pansexual (she just wants anyone type of vibe) - I think when jenny is visiting vega often that leaves Shelby and Brad hanging out alone a lot. which they don't mind honestly, they are actually good friends! - but during that they just get closer and start catching feelings. Shelby eventually lets go of her feelings about jenny and realizes they were a real jerk and weirdo to her. brad helps them through that and eventually her realizing she's trans. blah blah they in love and kiss at some point. - Shelby is also a furry lmaooo her fursona is a cat.
Brad: - bisexual cis man (he/him) - Still his old brad self if i'm being honest. - totally forgot to say i think all 3 of them go off to college together (even though jenny doesn't have to i feel like she would prob want to just for the experience, but tell me if you think differently i'm still unsure) - i really don't know what else to say sorry brad! he's literally just as silly as ever man. he's just also gay - i will say here i feel it takes a lot longer for shelby and brad to start dating then jenny and vega. they got that slow burn kinda shit going on, since a lot of that is shelby being confused about her feelings. and jenny and vega just hit it off right away if im being honest, very high school sweethearts. - (also i think shelby makes brad make a fursona to match hers, so brad got a dog fursona)
Vega: - Lesbian cis (she/her) - That ending of her just ruling cluster prime was just so crazy to me cause like, aint she like 16? - i think she has a lot of stressed nights and fearing she's not doing the right thing for her people, and jenny tries to help as much she can - that is why jenny visits so much, she wants to help her. - very much got those nights were she accidently falls asleep at her desk, jenny finding her and giving her a blanket and a kiss goodnight - it's not like she's unhappy, she is actually very very passionate about her work and wants to NOT be like her mom - and yeah she deffo goes to robo therapy for the stuff with her mom. - i think it's a conflict where vega is scared her mom is gonna come back and jenny has to reassure her that if she does they'll get rid of her for good.
imma be honest a lot of my hcs are pretty half-baked and random things, im sure im going to think of more stuff in the future but that will be in different posts.
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aviawrites · 8 months ago
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when we were teenagers (challengers)
pairings/relationships: tashi duncan x sister!reader, patrick zweig x fem!reader, art donaldson x fem!reader
summary: Tashi Duncan’s younger sister, Ava Duncan, never gets a chance to be seen past her sister’s shadow. When Ava gets injured and Tashi starts gaining fame, the two become more and more at odds with each other. Tashi juggles Art and Patrick while Ava struggles to keep up. When over a decade passes and a peace isn’t reached, either the Donaldsons or Zweigs, either Tashi or Ava, has to come out on top. (7.2k)
a/n: you know the movie was good when you have to rewatch so you have all the info for the fic🥴 with that being said, the dates and stuff may be a little off but i did my best with what wikipedia had to offer. regardless, im a patrick zweig stan 4L. anyway, as always, ur interaction is greatly appreciated, ily<3
warnings: description of injury, allusions to sex/almost a smut scene, swearing
in this story, yn is: Ava Duncan
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March 16, 2006 //📍home, 9:35pm
The goofy grin on the brunette’s face and the blond’s childish giggle replays over and over in your head. Your mother’s muffled snores mix with Art’s laughs as a smile grows on your face, your eyes closed. 
You’ve found yourself in this position too many times, imagining what could’ve been if the cute guys were eyeing you rather than your sister. But you’ve experienced it enough times to not even be hurt by it anymore. No guys approach you at volleyball events, especially not hot ones. So if anything, you find some comfort in lying upside down on the corduroy couch making up scenarios in your head. 
The click of the front door forces your eyes open, sitting upright and perking up like a dog as your sister tip toes through the door.  
“So…” You rest your chin on your fist, “Which one was it?”
“Shh,” Tashi smiles, pointing to your mom’s closed door. “Which one was what?”
“Come on,” You continue as she stands in front of you, “Which one did you…Y’know.”
“Oh my- Neither of them, Ava.”
“What!?”
“Shh!”
You lower your tone, “Seriously? You were alone with them both and didn’t make a move?”
“It wasn’t like that.” She laughs, “They’re like…I dunno, they’re weird.”
You scrunch your face up, “What, are they gay?”
She pauses, cocking her head.
“They’re actually gay?”
“No, no they’re not.” She giggles, “I just didn’t do anything with them. I mean we kissed but that’s it.” 
“Did you kiss the blond?” You interrogate, “I really like the blond…”
“His name is Art and I kissed them both.” She smirks.
You roll your eyes, “Whatever.”
Tashi laughs at you, plopping next to you on the couch and resting her legs across yours.
“They did ask for my number again.”
“What’d you tell them?” You stroke her leg.
“I said whoever wins the match tomorrow gets it.”
“God, I wish.” You sigh, throwing your head back. “I’d kill to see Art just one more time…”
———
May 15th, 2006 //📍home, 6:00pm
You wince as your mom tightens the brace, covering your face in frustration.
“It’s okay, baby.” She kisses your head, “You tell me if you need anything, okay?”
You nod as she presses one more kiss onto your hair before walking out, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 
Almost every athlete you know has been injured before, half of the girls on your team are covered in braces and tape all season. A torn ACL seems more like a right of passage than a serious and life changing injury. But when you heard the pop and felt the ligament rip, it was almost immediate; The realization that you very well may never play again. You’re not sure if yours was worse than others or if you’re just weaker, but the trauma of the blistering pain has turned you away from getting back on the court for the last month. 
You already can tell who’s on the other side of the door from the lack of a knock. You internally sigh, wanting to be left alone, as Tashi sits at the foot of your bed. 
“Hey, I was thinking we could go to the courts today. I could practice with you.” 
“Tashi…”
“I know you haven’t been wanting to go but since you just hit a month I was thinking, you know, maybe you’d want to start working again.”
You shake your head, “Tashi, I don’t think I’m ready.”
“When will you be?” She asks, her voice stern.
You stare at her, “I don’t know, Tashi. Why?”
“I’m just saying Ava, it’s not good to stop for this long. Some people never get back out there and you have to at least try.”
“I am trying.” You raise your voice, “My insides tore apart. Sorry if I’m not eager to put pressure on myself again.”
“There’s no pressure I’m just asking you to get up and at least walk on a court again.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Why the fuck not?” 
“Because I’m fucking scared, Tashi!” You shout, tears falling from your eyes. “I’m fucking scared of it happening again! I am not ready!”
She stares at you, a look that you can only describe as disgust on her face.
“…You don’t even want to drive out there just to see-“
“Get out.” You cover your eyes, a headache creeping up on you.
“Ava, I’m not going to let you waste away in here-“
“Get out of my room or I’m calling mom.” You stare back at her, “Go.” 
She stands, giving you one last look of disapproval before leaving, slighting slamming your door behind her.
———
September 18th, 2006 //📍Stanford Tennis Courts, 5:00pm
“Passing…Down the line…Cross…”
Tashi’s grunts echo throughout the court as you throw shots at her, a pile of green tennis balls forming behind you. It took a few weeks but she got you back on the court, just not the volleyball courts. You’ve watched Tashi’s practices long enough to know the game, so when you reluctantly offered to help her train, she jumped at the opportunity.
You zone out, robotically tossing the balls as Tashi dashes across the court. You silently hope for a specific someone show up. Patrick Zweig had your sister in his phone and occasionally in his bed, but Art Donaldson was a free man. The only Duncan in his phone was Ava, an achievement that you pride yourself on even weeks later. 
Sure, the two of you aren’t a thing, not the way Tashi and Patrick are. But you’re happy to be anything with Art, so the talking stage that you seem to be stuck in doesn’t bother you at all. You can only pray that it’ll blossom into something. Something meaning you being Ava Donaldson in the near future.
As if you summoned him, a very familiar blond boy opens the wire door, locking eyes with you. Your heart skips a beat when he waves at you, your hand immediately dropping the ball and waving back.
Your sister turns around to see Art, a smile growing on her face as she walks over to him. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him in for a hug as you watch. They barely pull away before Tashi begins chatting, her face too close to his for your liking. 
Across the court, they’re too far for you to hear their conversation. But judging from Art’s hand draped over her waist and her arm resting on his shoulder, you see enough to be angry. You can only look down, waiting for the conversation, along with your humiliation, to end. 
After an abundance of giggles, Art turns and walks away, giving you another wave. 
“I’ll see you.” He smiles.
You purse your lips, terribly embarrassed as you nod, “Yeah. Good seeing you, Art.”
The door shuts and with it, your smile drops. Tashi gets back into position like nothing happened, waiting with her racquet. Playing along, you throw her the ball. Only, you don’t call the drill. You throw with a little more force and much more unpredictability as the anger in you rises. 
“Ava…” Tashi calls, frantically chasing the ball. 
It’s only when the ball flies past her head, barely missing her, that she stops.
“Ava, what the fuck!?”
She walks toward you, meeting you at the net.
She shrugs, “What’s up, what’s going on?”
“Are you serious?”
She only looks at you, confused.
“Tashi, come on. You were literally all over him.”
“Wh- Art?” She deciphers, “Oh, Ava my bad I didn’t mean- I really didn’t mean to.”
“Yeah, sure you didn’t.”
“Seriously, I didn’t. He’s my friend I was just saying hey.”
“Saying hey with your arms around each other? That’s bullshit, just say you still like him.” You look down, mumbling. “It’s fine, it’s just annoying that you go after every guy I like knowing they’ll choose you.”
“Hey…” Tashi softens her tone, stepping over the net and nearing you. “Ava.”
“What?” You look at the ground.
“I didn’t mean it like that…” She insists, “I’m just stressed with school and stuff, he’s the only one who gets it.”
“Right.” You roll your eyes, not in the mood for ‘I’m stressed,’ to be the excuse for going after your guy. “It’s not like I go to school too or anything.”
“No, I know you do. It’s just…Stanford’s different, you know?”
“Whatever.”
“Ava,” She lifts your chin to look at her, “I’m sorry, okay?”
The two of you ogle at each other as she waits for an answer. She always does this, almost forces you into accepting her apology which you do not.
“We good?” She asks.
“…Yeah, sure.” You shrug, pulling away from her, “It’s whatever.”
Tashi just looks at you once more, seemingly satisfied as she steps back over the net. She gets back into position as you pick up another ball, a look still on your face.
“Down the line.”
———
December 21st, 2006 //📍Stanford Dining Hall, 12:00pm
“How many?” The employee asks.
“Umm, can I have three?” You lean on the counter, “Or four, actually.”
She reaches under the counter before handing you four mayo packets.
“Thanks.”
You start the walk back toward the table, Patrick having picked the one in the far back. He clearly hasn’t returned from the bathroom as you see Art and Tashi still sitting alone. As you near them, you catch a glimpse of their conversation.
“Don’t you think you deserve it?” Art asks, his eyes so focused on your sister that he doesn’t see you walking up. “I mean, who wouldn’t be in love with you?”
Tashi doesn’t respond, only angrily stands and walks away, nearly knocking you over. She passes you, smoke practically coming out of her ears. You watch her go before sitting where she was, handing Art the packets.
“Thanks.” He smiles, “Patrick still in there?”
“I guess so.” You laugh, insecurity lacing your voice as you simultaneously try to decode the conversation they were having.
“I’m so not surprised.” He takes the bun off of his burger and tears open the white packet with his teeth.
You watch him, hesitant to speak. Though, your words spill out before you can stop them.
“Do you ever wish Patrick let you win the match?” You ask.
Art looks up at you, mid squeeze. He cracks an unsure smile.
“What kind of question is that?” He laughs.
“I don’t know,” You do the same, tragically self conscious. “Maybe you wonder what it’d be like to date my sister or something. I don’t know, it’s stupid.” You look down, fiddling with your fingers.
Art pauses, putting his burger down and placing his hands on yours.
“Hey,” He grabs your attention, “I’m here with you today. 
You smile, “No, I know. It’s just…She’s like better than me in every way so I wouldn’t blame you.” You chuckle.
“What? I don’t think so, I think you’re great.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t get in to Stanford. Nor do I win all of the tennis tournament or-“
“Ava,” Art stops you, shaking your head. “You’re just as good as Tashi.”
Your eyes tread on each other as you try your hardest to believe him. But you do realize that this is the exact same way he looked at Tashi on the courts. 
The two of you are snapped out of it as Patrick returns, taking his seat next to Art.
“Sorry, they had like no toilet paper.”
“Oh good, thanks for letting us all know you took a shit, bud.” 
“Whatever. Ava doesn’t give a shit, right?”
“No,” You laugh, “You’re all good, Pat.”
———
📍Tashi’s dorm, 2:00pm
“So if he’s seeing other girls I won’t even fucking know now.” Tashi vents, stretching for her match.
You scroll on your phone, sitting at her desk. “It sounds like he was just trying to be nice, Tash. He was trying to help you out-“
“No, he’s not nice. Nothing about them is nice, Ava. They’re fucking weirdos, both of them. Art just hides behind this persona that he’s so caring and team Duncan when really he wants the same thing from me as Patrick.”
‘He wants the same thing from me.’
You sigh, tired of hearing the same things and watching her run back to them minutes later.
“Then stop complaining and fucking leave him already.” 
Tashi stops in her lunge, “What?”
“You keep complaining about them.” You grunt, “If you really didn’t want the attention you’d just drop them both.”
“If I didn’t want the attention?”
“Yes.” 
“The fuck does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said.” You say, irritated.
“Ava…” She stands up, looking down at you. You continue scrolling until your phone is snatched from you. “Hey.”
“What the-“
“Do you have something to say to me?”
“Give me my phone back.” You stand up, reaching for it.
“No, say what you mean.”
“Really?” You grab for your phone once more but she pulls it away from you like a child, “Fuck - Okay, Tashi, all you talk about is how hard your life is. How hard training is for a tournament that you know you're going to win. How hard it is dating a famous and touring athlete. How hard it is being friends with the nicest guy who only wants to help you. How fucking hard it is to have two guys fighting over you. How hard it is to go to an ivy league. How hard it is to live the fucking dream. How about you actually do something about it instead of rubbing it in our faces that you're above us and can play with two guys at once because you're so fucking amazing?"
The two of you stand nose to nose, a stance Tashi used to always initiate in order to intimidate you.
“How long have you felt this way?” She asks, her breath shaking.
“Ever since you became the Tashi Duncan and I was left in the dust. Now give me my phone.”
“Are you fucking serious, Ava? You think I asked for this?”
“Asked for what? A great life where you succeed in fucking everything? No, Tashi, you didn't have to ask for it. We worked so fucking hard and only you survived it. I succumbed to my fate, I quit my dream, I went to a shitty college, had shitty friends, watched shitty games, and watched the boys I liked fight for my sister. But no; Please, continue bitching about your hard situation." 
You snatch your phone from her hands, walking toward the door. "Good luck at your fucking match."
———
2:45pm
You barely look up as you exit the library, occupied with connecting your earbuds to your phone. It’s only when you see a familiar black head of hair sitting in the common area that you stop. 
“Patrick?”
He looks back, taking his feet off of the Stanford branded coffee table.
“Oh, hey Ava.” He makes space for you to sit beside him on the small loveseat. “How’s it goin’?”
“Good, um…” You put your stuff on the floor and sit next to him, “Why aren’t you at the tournament?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He smiles that same crooked smile from the night you met him.
You curl your legs up, leaving your arm on the back of the seat. “Did y’all fight too?”
Patrick leans back, looking over at you. “Yeah. Yeah, we did.” He laughs.
“What was yours about?” You pry, smiling.
“Uh,” He rubs his eye, “Just…not letting her control me. I’m my own boss kind of shit.”
“Seriously?”
“…Yeah, why?”
“That’s what our fight was about too!” You burst into giggles, “Well, not her controlling me but her controlling you. And Art, him too.”
“Shit, Art too?”
“Yeah, I mean, especially Art. You’re the only one who stands up to her bullshit.”
“Oh yeah?” He asks, “I don’t know, you seem to put up a good fight.”
“Yeah, but I’m her sister. It’s takes a brave man to break free of Tashi Duncan.”
“Oh god, did I break free?”
“You definitely broke free.” The two of you laugh.
“No but I see what you’re saying, she definitely had me whipped.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Like I remember one time,” He turns toward you, getting comfy, “The first time her and I, um…”
“Oh, Jesus.” You cover your face.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He laughs, “But the first time we did, I remember she said she’d leave me if I told anyone. And I was head over heels, so of course I didn’t want to tell, right?”
“Right.”
“But Art’s my guy, y’know? So instead of being straight up and jeopardizing Tashi’s love, we made this stupid ass signal.” He tells in between laughs, “The way that Art serves - Like, you know how he puts the ball at the neck of his racquet?”
“Yeah, yeah.” You listen intently.
“Well, if I served that way, that meant yes, we did sleep together, And if I served my way, it meant we didn’t.”
“…And?”
“Well, I put that motherfucker right in the middle.”
“Oh my-“
You and Patrick erupt into laughs, covering your mouths as the librarian eyes the two of you. Your stomach starts to ache, not being able to remember the last time you had this kind of belly laugh.
“Well, cheers to breaking free of her.” You put your fist up.
“Oh hell yeah, cheers to that.” He bumps it.
———
3:05pm
The crowd outside thins out as you and Patrick head down the back halls and toward the parking lot. In true honor of breaking free, the two of you decided to not say goodbye. Instead, you’d go home without saying a word to your sister. 
You’re a few doors down from the exit when Patrick stops in his tracks, looking into the nurses office.
“Tashi…” He walks in. 
You enter the doorway, peeking in behind him. Inside, you see Tashi sitting on the table, Art by her side.
“No, out.” Your sister points.
“I’m sorry-“
“Get out!”
“Tashi, listen to me-“
“No, get out!”
“Please-“
“Patrick, get the fuck out!” Art shouts, standing.
Patrick stays for a moment, taken aback as he looks from Tashi to Art. If he has the same vision as you, it’s clear that it’s them against him. It’s no longer Patrick and Tashi, but Art and Tashi. 
He looks back at you before obeying, walking down the hallway. 
Now alone, you come into full view, nearing your sister.
“Tash, what happened-“
“You too.”
You stop, tilting your head. “What?”
“I don’t want you here, leave.”
“Wh- Are you serious?”
“Ava, I think you should just go.” Art says lowly, wary to step in between you too.
You ignore him, “Tashi, I’m your sister.”
You get no answer, she only looks forward. You look at Art as he stands over her like some bodyguard. 
Just as Patrick did, you back away, realizing what this is. You frantically look between the two as you wait for Tashi to change her mind, to see that regardless of what fight you had you’re still sisters. Though, it’s clear that doesn’t mean anything to her, it’s been clear for a while now. 
Now, it’s only Art and Tashi.
———
10:03pm
“Coming in from Stanford; Student and highly lauded tennis player, Tashi Duncan, took a hard hit at her match against Pepperdine this afternoon. Sources say a hard fracture to the knee has Tashi in the care of medical professionals. It is unknown if she’ll ever be able to play again.” 
The blinding fluorescent lights of the cheap fast food place burn your eyes as you and Patrick look up at the TV. 
You bury your head in your hands, groaning.
“Fuck.” 
“She probably thinks she’ll never be able to play again.”
“Please, please don’t say that, Patrick. I’ll feel so guilty.”
“Ava, there’s nothing we could’ve done.”
“We could’ve at least showed up.” You rub a hand over your head.
“Hey,” He forces you to look at him, “None of this is our fault, okay? Injured or not, she still treated us like shit. Art only gets to stay by her side because he’s whipped.”
“I just…” You sigh, “I just wish I had been there.”
The two of you stand up, leaving the restaurant. Outside, a huge Adidas billboard with your sister’s face on it dominates the sky.
The two of you get into Patrick’s car, him cranking it up and turning down the radio.
“Let’s talk about something else.”
“Okay.” He nods, looking at you.
“Like…” You think, “Your tour.”
“Oh, God.”
You laugh, “When are you set to go back?”
“Uh, next week I’m pretty sure. But if I’m being honest, I don’t even want to go. I’ve been getting my ass kicked out there.”
“Patrick, Tashi would lose it if she heard you say that.”
He leans in, resting his arms on the center console as he examines your face. “Let’s not talk about Tashi…” 
“Okay,” You hold the intense eye contact that he began, “What do you want to talk about?”
His nose is almost touching yours as you unconsciously near him, eyes flickering from his eyes to his lips.
“Let’s talk about you.” He grins, rubbing your waist.
“What do you want to know?”
“Tell me what you like.” He says, lowering his lips to your neck and softly pressing.
“I, um,” You tilt, holding the back of his head as he gets sloppier, “I loved volleyball. My team was out of California but we travelled for tournaments. We ranked…fuck…we ranked second in the country-“
Patrick cuts you off, his lips ravaging yours as he runs his hands over you. You can’t stop yourself from leaning into him, crawling over to sit on his lap. Both of your hands get more and more heavy as he pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it in the backseat.
“Fuck,” You say in between kisses, “Fuck, wait.”
“What?” He looks up at you, “What, is something wrong?”
“Is this wrong to do?” You ask, out of breath. “Should we stop? What about Tashi and Art?”
“They yelled at us to leave when we tried to help.” He reminds you, “Why should we stop when they treated us like that?”
You look at him, convincing yourself that you’re considering it when all you want to feel is your mouth on his.
And you do, pushing the thoughts of Tashi and Art far from your mind.
———
February 15th, 2011 // 📍Zweig condo, 9:30am
5 years later
At one point in your life, it would take you multiple seconds to figure out how to say the dollar amount that you and your husband had in your bank account. Now, as the number almost falls short of five figures, you feel ashamed just looking at it. 
You switch tabs on the laptop, the light from the ceiling to floor window behind it hurting your eyes. Scrolling through tournament options, the distances only get further and the prize money higher. Years ago, you and Patrick wouldn’t even consider the amount, as Patrick just wanted to play tennis; And that still holds true, only you’ve been stuck in your ways for so long that he’s forgotten how to play to win. 
Nails scratch the hardwood behind you as your golden doodle, Bear, comes barreling down the hall. Right behind him is your husband, chasing the dog around the living room.
“I’m gonna getcha, I’m gonna getcha!” He says, the dog running desperately from him. 
You chuckle, “Good morning.”
You hear Patrick give Bear a smooch before walking over to you, wrapping his arms around your neck.
“Good morning, baby.” He kisses your neck, looking at the screen. “Found anything good?”
“Not really,” You groan, frustrated. “I don’t know when these matches got so fucking far.”
“It’s okay,” He strokes your head, “I’m sure there’s one we can make it to.”
You continue scrolling, the qualifier maximum getting smaller and smaller.
“What about this one?” He points.
“Atlanta? Patrick, that’s on the other side of the country.”
“I know, I know. But we can make the trip, no? I hear some of our friends may be there.”
You turn your head, furrowing your brows at him. A sly smile plasters over his face, one that makes you realize all too quickly.
“They’re going to be there?” 
He nods.
“God, why would you want to be anywhere near them?” 
“We probably won’t even see them, baby. But if they’re there we’ll have a big crowd.” 
You think on it, the thought of seeing Tashi making your stomach turn in knots.
“…And look at that winner’s reward money.” He says convincingly.
A sigh escapes you before clicking submit, Patrick’s entry automatically being sent.
“Mm,” He kisses your wedding ring finger, “Thank you, baby.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You jokingly roll your eyes, pecking him on the cheek.
——
February 24th, 2011 //📍Atlanta, 7:40pm
Nausea consumes you as Patrick’s smell fills your senses. The aroma of the city is one thing, the aroma of your husband another, but the scent of your sister’s old perfume radiates off of him like a cancer.
You watch as he sets his coat down, coming behind the couch to kiss you. 
“Did you-“ You pull your face away, not able to let him touch you, “Did you see anyone we know?”
Patrick is taken aback, looking at you with a confused smile.
“No…Why?”
His eyes bore into yours as you search for any answer than the one you’re imagining. Though, as he hands you the chinese takeout bag and takes a seat next to you, you find yourself voiding the conclusion entirely; Your mind not willing to believe the man you love would be meeting her. 
He wraps his arms around you, watching the TV. As the smell seems to corrupt every sense you have, a tear sneaks into your cheek, the possibility still piercing your gut. Even so, you wrap your arms back around him.
As of this moment, the comfort of hiding in his arms trumps the possibilities of the truth.
——
June 3rd, 2013 // 📍Zweig Condo, 3:00pm
2 Years Later
‘Hey, I know it’s been a while. But if you’re willing, I’d love to come out and see you and the baby. - A ♡’
The ‘Read’ under your message seems to taunt you the longer you stare. Your phone screen is interrupted by a call, ‘Mom,’ at the top of the screen. You answer.
A small gasp escapes you as you’re immediately met with the smallest human you’ve ever seen. You’d know she was Tashi’s in a sea of babies. You wave your husband over, eyes staying on the baby.
“Oh my goodness.” You whisper, “Hi, baby.”
Her eyes stay closed, her hands in small fists.
“Oh, Ava, she’s so beautiful.” Your mom lowly says down the phone.
“Is…” You wipe away a stray tear, “Is Tashi okay?”
The camera flips from the baby to your mother.
“You know you could always ask her yourself, honey.”
“No, I know. But- Just tell them we said congratulations. She’s precious.”
Your mom lets out a sigh as she looks from you to behind the camera.
“Mom, who is that?” You hear your sister’s voice in the background. 
Your hands turn clammy, your heart beating faster and faster as she begins to turn the phone to Tashi.
“Um, Mom we gotta go, we’re breaking up. I love you-“
“Wait, Ava-“
“Love you, mom.” You spit out, hanging up and turning your phone face down.
You stare out for a minute, shocked at your body’s response to your sister’s voice. Sobs escape your mouth before you can stop them. You shove your face in your hands.
“Oh, baby.” Patrick holds you, rubbing your back.
“It’s been too long.” You cry, “She fucking hates me.”
“You don’t know that.” He reassures you, “She may come around. You did good.”
———
May 1st, 2019 // 📍New Rochelle, 10:00am
6 Years later
Making it to New York from home took up the rest of Patrick’s savings. The house that you downsized to is completely funded by you and your remote sales salary. Patrick continues to fight a losing battle with tennis, barely able to pay for food for himself every week. Straining your marriage was the last consequence of his money struggles. Though, it has the biggest impact on your day to day. Nonetheless, you remain by his side. In all honesty, you’re not completely sure how to continue anywhere else. 
“I’m going to see Art today.” Patrick tells you, downing a handful of trail mix.
“Art?” You ask, holding Bear’s paws on your
thighs, “Why would you do that? It’s been years.”
“I think it’s been long enough, we’re already here.” He shrugs, “I think it might be good for me.”
You focus on Bear, still not seeing a clear reason as to why he’d want to speak to Art after a decade.
“Maybe you should go see Tashi.”
Your eyes snap to him, her name barely being spoken in your house for the last six years.
“…And do what?”
He shrugs, “Might be good for you…”
1:00pm
Your stomach seems to twist in a thousand ways as you continuously fix your hair and outfit on the way into the far too fancy hotel. As you pass the lobby, you almost turn around and throw up. But as your sister heads for the elevator, you know this is your one chance to speak to her.
Your shoes thump against the marble floor as you jog after her.
“T- Tashi!” You whisper shout, reaching her just in time.
She turns around. Taking one look at you, she looks to your left and right, utterly confused.
“What are you doing here?” She asks, tone laced with disgust.
It’s been so long. She looks so different, her voice has such a maturity to it. But that dominating energy that she brings everywhere hasn’t changed a bit.
“Well I…” You fumble, all of your practice going out the window. “ I heard you were here, I wanted to say hello.”
“Say hello?” She looks you up and down, turning her full attention to you as she steps forward. “Honestly, I don’t want your fucking hello, Ava. Really, I don’t.”
You shake your head, “Tashi-“
"I can't believe you have the balls to be here. After what you fucking did to me."
"What I-“ You compose yourself, remembering exactly how arguments with your sister always go. “Tashi, what the fuck did I do to you?"
"Are you serious?" She asks, "You're joking, yes?"
"No, I'm really not."
"You left me for 13 years by my fucking self." She raises her voice, "I had a wedding, I had a baby, and where were you? My sister was too stuck on a grudge to ever come back into my life, you're a waste of my fucking time." She begins to walk away.
“Hey.” You follow her, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around.
“Get off.”
"Not one of those events was I invited to, Tash. Not one. If you wanted me back, if you gave a shit, you would've acted like it. But you're not going to sit here and act like I was in the wrong and I should've reached out to you. Hell, I did fucking reach out to you.”
“In the wrong?” She snatches her arm from you. “Ava, are you clinically fucking stupid? You're hung up on a situation from 13 years ago-"
"No, but it's not from 13 years ago, Tashi.” You cut her off, getting in her face. “Because you're doing the same thing right now that you did when you were 18. You're sitting here blaming the world for your life decisions. You're blaming me for being angry that you were and are a narcissist who wants someone else to be the athlete that you never were. Every time I thought of coming back l'd imagine what my sister would say and I couldn't do it. But guess what Tashi, now I see through you. I fucking see it, Patrick sees it, and when Art finally opens his eyes you'll finally see yourself for what you are."
She stares at you, a chuckle escaping her. "Ava, this is pathetic. Genuinely. Because at the end of the day, it's not my fucking fault that you gave up. Now l'm in a position where I don't have to be here. I have a life, a pretty fucking good one, outside of this. Outside of you. This Final, it's practice. It's fucking child's play for us, whereas for the Zweigs...This is it for you. Your last fucking loss.”
“Yeah. Okay Tash.” You roll your eyes, "Keep throwing insults at me to distract from the fact that you're a shitty person."
"I'm a shitty pers- You fucking abandoned your family for 13 fucking years!"
"Because my sister is an insufferable egomaniac who can't accept the fact that her husband doesn't want to do this shit anymore and her tennis life is over!” You shout back, your voices echoing throughout the hotel. “It's fucking over Tashi, give it up. That's why I left you, because you're fucking dreadful! You're dreadful and everyone knows it."
Tashi slowly nods, the hotel staff looking at the two of you.
"...Ava, do you know what your husband does late at night?"
Your eyes widen, your heart skipping a beat as she addresses the unspoken.
"Fuck you." You spit.
"I'm really asking, because from what I experienced...You're a lucky woman."
Now you’re the one with disgust in your eyes, the urge to spit in her face stronger than ever before.
“…Say hi to mom for me, Tashi." You say, your hands balling into fists.
“Happy to.” She utters, walking toward the elevator. “Tell Patrick I’m wishing him good luck.”
3:00pm
You only tell your husband bits a pieces of your encounter, not daring to remind him of the man he was in Atlanta.
“I don’t even know why I tried.”
“Both of them are assholes.” He agrees, “At least now we’re sure of it.”
“I guess.” You bite your nails, stroking Bear’s ears. “Patrick you have to beat him in the Final. We can’t let them win.”
“I know, baby.” He nods, on your wavelength. “I know.”
——
May 4th, 2019 // Night Before the Final, 11:25pm
“Pat, it’s really coming down out there.” You look out of the hotel window, tarps flying into the street. “What if they cancel the match?”
“They’d never do that.” He watches the TV, “It should lighten up by morning.” 
You hum, snuggling next to him as the bright screen flashes through an action sequence. Patrick’s phone vibrates, his phone brightness lighting the rest of the room.
“Oh, baby.” He shifts his body, making you sit up. “I gotta go.”
“Now? Why?” You try to look on his phone but he pulls it away, scrolling.
“I have to, um,” He rubs his head, looking stressed. “My racquet, I have to pick it up.”
“The fuck does that mean?”
“They just messaged reminding me that we have to have this certain racquet to compete tomorrow.” He stands up, rushing toward the door.
“What- Patrick,” You follow him, “It’s like a fucking flash flood out there, can you not do this tomorrow?”
“Baby, they close at midnight, I gotta go,” He kisses you, “I love you.”
“Patrick, wait-“
“I love you, I have to go!” He shuts the door behind him.
12:30am
You have a strange urge to cry as you scroll through Art Donaldson’s instagram. Photos of him and his seemingly perfect family are plastered all over, an ‘@Tashidonaldson ♡’ at the top of his bio.
Patrick never wanted kids, said they’d cost too much and you couldn’t care for them. He was correct about the former, but care for children, you are willing and able to do. But when you married him, he did a lot of the decision making for you. 
Now, as he’s blown all of your savings, lost his tennis touch, and been out of the damn hotel room for an hour doing god knows what , you wish you could shout at past you to get a grip. 
Though, looking at these picture now, you wish you could do the same to past Art Donaldson too. 
———
May 5th, 2019 // 📍New Rochelle Courts, 1:00pm
Final Day
The crowd’s heads robotically turned side to side as Art and Patrick dog it out in a vicious match. You sit in your assigned seat next to your sister, the endless stream of slander not ceasing, not even today.
“Is he retiring after this?” You ask, your head still going between the men.
Tashi shrugs, her expression hidden behind her sunglasses. “Maybe.”
"...I don't think Patrick will ever retire. I think tennis is all he has."
She hums, "If only he'd start winning his matches."
"He doesn't always play for the wins, Tashi."
"Yeah, he plays for the participation money."
"Maybe he does." You say, "At least he does it by choice."
She looks to you, her attention no longer on her husband’s tie breaker. "Art does it by choice."
“Like hell he does.” You scoff, “He wouldn't be retiring after becoming a Career Grand Slam if he wanted to be doing this.”
“Art is an adult, he does what he wants.” She looks back to the court.
“Art is your slave, he does what you want.”
Tashi continues trying to get to you. As Patrick sets for his next serve, he looks in your direction. Only, he isn’t looking at you, he’s looking at your sister. He returns his gaze to Art, placing his ball in the neck of his racquet.
Both you and Art freeze, staring at your husband. The men seem to be in their own world, but Patrick must’ve forgotten that you know too. The word seems to muffle around you as you stare at your husband’s evil grin at Art.
You stand on shaky legs, grasping your stomach as bile threatens to come up. 
“Hey…” Tashi calls after you, “Ava, what the fuck are you doing?”
You run to the nearest exit, Patrick’s blatant disrespect and repulsiveness making you want to genuinely die where you stand.
It’s only as you stumble to your car that it truly hits you who the man you married really is, and how he really sees you. 
Like everyone else, he thinks you’re a pawn in Tashi’s game. A piece that can be battered and bruised but will never go away, as it’s crucial to the game of Tashi. You want to vomit as you sit in your car, Patrick’s scent sending you into a violent sick.
———
May 14th, 2019 // 📍Zweig home, 12:00pm
9 Days Later
Three knocks at the door echo through your almost empty house. You pause your show, unlatching the chain and opening it. 
Patrick stands in front of you, a hysterical attempt of a sad expression on his face.
“Everything’s here.” You walk him in, pointing to the boxes full of his stuff in the kitchen. “The only things that aren’t are your racquets, trophies, cups, stuff like that. Those are in the closet so they wouldn’t get mixed up.”
“Thanks.” He says, feeling like an alien in this house.
“Yeah.” You give him a thumbs up, returning to the couch next to Bear.
He spends an hour loudly moving his things from the kitchen to his car, the sound almost drowning out your show. Regardless, you stay put, wanting him to be done as fast as he can.
“Ava…” He calls over the reality TV. You ignore him, popping another veggie straw into your mouth. 
Suddenly, his arm comes from behind you, grabbing the remote and muting it.
“Hey.” You turn around.
“I’m talking to you.”
“Okay, well I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Ava, I’m sorry-“
“Pat,” You chuckle, not being able to keep it in. “Don’t even.”
“Baby, listen to me, okay? I fucked up-“
“Patrick, Patrick!” You stand up, “Just stop, okay? Leave me be, finish getting your shit, and I’ll have the papers served to you by the end of the week.”
“Baby, no. Please.”
“Honey, there’s nothing you can say.” You shake your head, having prepared for his begging days ago. “Go beg to your mistress, yeah?”
He continues rambling, stumbling over his words. “Ava, it was such a bad mistake. I told myself it was strategy and- And because me and her have a complicated past I couldn’t see straight-“
“But nothing about us is complicated, right? We are married, we’re supposed to be a team. But you betrayed me, plain and simple.” You lay it out for him, “You’re a cheater and we’re done, now go.”
“It was a mistake-“
“Patrick…” You inhale, “I’m trying not to lose it, you need to get the fuck out.”
“Just hear me out-“
“Get out of the house, Patrick.” 
“We can come back from this, Ava. We can.”
Your jaw hangs agape in genuine disbelief. He seems to notice he fucked up again as he stops speaking. You walk around the couch, getting in his face the same way Tashi used to get in yours.
“Patrick,” You begin, “I gave everything for you. I gave up my life, I gave up my family, I gave up Art, I left it all for you. I abandoned so much to be in your corner because I was in love with you, I really was. Whether you felt the same about me, I’ll never actually know-“
“I loved you, baby. I still love you-“
“But I thought you were the one who understood me, Patrick. But somehow every time I gave you a chance to correct yourself you threw it away to be with Tashi. Over and over. She’s constantly being picked over me, her feelings over mine, her body over mine, her opinion over mine…You’re just another one of her fans. You’re just like Art- Honestly, you’re fucking worse. At least  he pretended to like me all those years ago. Now, as my husband, you just don’t give a shit. Just publicly showing that you slept with my sister.”
“…Why do you keep bringing up Art?” He looks down at you, “Do you- Do you feel something for him still?”
“Oh my fucking-“ You cover your face, composing yourself once again before continuing. “Pat, it’s been a long, long time since this all started. And if I could go back I’d change many things. But at the end of it all, I’m here because I worked for it and I endured it. You and Art can stay stuck under Tashi’s finger, that’s fine. But I know that life is bigger than that. Bigger than this weird threesome love triangle shit that you circle back to every few years. I am a grown woman who is in control of her own life so if you don’t have anymore comments, you need to get out and sign the papers when they’re served to you, Patrick.”
“…Baby, please,” He cries, his lip quivering. “You love me, we love each other. Please just think about it.”
You tilt your head, “Do you want me to be honest?”
Patrick nods, hiccuping on his tears.
“…All of this is really really beneath me.” You quietly tell him.
He lowers his head, his hands covering his eyes.
“When I was 18 I might have been broken over stuff like this but…” You shrug, “Things are very very different from when we were teenagers.” 
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kamii-2 · 6 months ago
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Could you do nika muhl smut where nika and her girl go out with the team and someone starts flirting with nikas girl like so much and she gets all jealous and possive LIKE YUHHHH MABYE CAR SEX
hi anon, i hope you enjoy!! (this is gonna set when nika went to uconn bc idk much about seattle storm) also im gonna start adding songs to stories if i feel like they fit the story
warning(s): cussing, smut, jealousy
genre: smut
pairing(s): jealous!nika mühl x reader
==================================
you and nika were out with the entire uconn team, getting drinks and talking about everything and everyone.you were all sitting at a table. you drink was empty so you went to get another one “i’ll be back im gonna go get another drink.” you tapped nika on the thigh before getting up and grabbing your cup and going to the bar. while at the bar a guy walked up next to you, “hey.” he greeted, “hi.” you were being nice but you hoped and prayed he didn’t flirt with you because if he did nika would lose her shit and you simply didn’t want him to. “so, you alone?” he asked as the bartender gave you your drink. “no, my girlfriend is over there.” you told him while point to nika, trying to a sound as uninterested as possible.
“you’re too pretty to be a lesbian.” your eye widened the moment he said this, “what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, started to get annoyed. “you’re too hot to be going after girls, why not leave with me so i can show you how much better i am than her.” he offered. “i’m good.” you reply as you try to leave but he goes in front of you, “let me go.” you say as you try to find a way out. he ignored you and continued to trap you between him and the bar. nika is as confused on why you are gone for so long so she turned around and seen the guys all up on you and got up to figure out what’s going on.
she pushed him off of you and you quickly walked next to her, “go sit down, i’ll handle him.” she told you as you obeyed instantly. “what happened?” azzi asked the moment you sat down. “he ask me if i was alone and i told him i had a girlfriend and he told me i was too pretty to be gay then i don’t even know what he tried to do after.” you said while fixing your bracelets. “he was like trying to keep me there. he wasn’t letting me leave but nika‘s spidey senses were on or something and she came at the right time.” you told the basketball team as they all started to talk about men and the ups and downs about them. when nika returned you looked pissed. “what did you to him?” you asked while turning you attention to her, “just know he won’t ever mess with a girl like that ever again.” she replied while grabbing her phone off the table.
about 15 minutes later nika was still mad, “do you want to go home?” you whispered in her ear, instead of answering she just told everyone you guys were gonna leave and got up, dragging you with her. “y/n’s gonna get it good.” you heard ice say as you two walked away, you looked back at her and nodded and mouthed ‘yes i am.’ making the whole team laugh. as you two walked out, nika held your hand tightly the whole way to the car. when you reached the car she opened the back instead of the front. you immediately got excited and got in, nika getting in the back with you. the moment the door shut she started to make out with you. you straddled her lap and put the hands on both sides of her face, her hands went down to your hips and made you grind against her.
she lifted you up slightly and moved you to one of her thighs, making you grind back and forth. you breathed heavily as she made you grind faster, “fuck nika.” you whimpered while breaking the kiss and leaving your head on her shoulder. sje continued to help you ride her thigh until you came on her clothed thigh. she laid you down on the seat with your head against the window. she touched your dress up to your stomach then took your panties off, tossing them to the ground. she dove into your pussy, licking you like you were ice cream. you moaned loudly as she continued to eat you out. “holy shit!” you cried, your legs starting to shake slightly.
“oh i-i’m gonna cum. nika please do not stop im gonna cum.” you whined as your legs shook more. you were so close to cumming it felt like you were going to burst all on her. after a few more seconds you came on her mouth, she came back up and wiped her face with her hands. “did i give it to you good?” she asked with a slight smirk, at first you were confused then you realized she was talking about what you said, well really mouthed earlier. you smiled back and nodded, “yes you did.” you gave her a kiss then picked up your panties and put them back on, pulling your dress down after. “let’s go home, then we can finish this.” you told her while getting ready to get out and walk to the front.
when you slightly opened the door you heard the team talking. “nika’s car is still here.” you heard paige say as you opened the door completely and got out, you smiled and waved at them. “there is absolutely no way.” aubrey said while laughing, “i’m never sitting in your car again nika.” kk said with a look of disgust. you laughed with them then got in the passenger seat, nika getting in a few seconds later. “i can’t believe they walked out at the same time.” nika laughed as she started the car and started to drive. “that’s lowkey embarrassing.” you laughed with her.
==================================
i hope you enjoy and i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋
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defnoteleonor · 2 months ago
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SLEEPOVER PART 2!!!
warnings: a tinny bit of smut😊 (lets thank ala for helping me write this cuz i dont write smut but if yall want more ill try to write more), smoking, making out, shirtless ellie, half naked reader, ellie x femm!reader, my grammar🫶🏼
a.n.: if you see mistakes in my english…. no you didnt. i had this ready yesterday anx i was about to post but this whole coloring deleted and i just gave up so im posting this today😊🫶🏼 im gonna make this a series PROBABLY
(ellie - 💙, reader - 🩷) “you okay?” ellie breathed out. “yeah” you mumbled and cupped her cheek. your nerd leaned into your touch and closed her eyes. “tired?” you asked sweetly. “no… just enjoying you” her hand went up to your upper thigh. “yeah?” you looked down at her hand and back at her. your hand met her sports bra. “hm?” ellie opened her eyes “nothing… just enjoying you” you mocked her “okay, thats it.” ellie hid your vape in her sports bra. “elsss…” you whined. “thats what you get for teasing and mocking me!” ellie exclaimed. you and ellie never really got intimate. you never saw her naked. she never saw you witgout clothes too. the THC was getting into your head and you became a bit bolder. your hand tugged onto her sports bra and when she didnt push you away you decided to pull it up. when you completely took it off your eyes fell on her bare chest. she was perfect. her small but perky tits made you wet just by looking at them. ellies first instinct was to cover up but before she could do it you grabbed her hands and kissed her. your hands went down to massage her chest and the moans falling from her lips into yours were driving you wild. you kissed down her neck. your lips stopped at her nipples. “this okay baby?” you asked. ellie gave you an eager nod and you slowly continued your work. small love bites covered her chest. her strong hands gripped your shirt and she tugged on it. as you pulled away you spotted that she was completely red and she looked like she was about to pass out “omg are you okay?” you asked concerned. “yeah just… you are so hot and you make me all hot …” she breathed out. you let out a chuckle and massage her cheek. “relax baby… i can open a window if you want” ellie just nodded. you hopped off her lap and went to open the window. cold, autumn wind fell into the room. ellies red cheeks were starting to fade. you laid down next to her, your head on her chest and your arm wrapped around her waist. “els?” you checked up on her. she looked down “yeah, pretty thing?” “i love you… you are so perfect for me…” you mumbled and kissed her bare chest. it was moments like this that made ellie glad that she went to school that one day and decided to talk to you. its moments like this when she has you in her arms all safe and healthy. its moments like this that she just appreciates you… even tho she likes to be alone, sometimes she likes to be alone with you. “do… you want to continue… this?” you asked unsure. “nahh we can take a nap and finish this at night… we can even get high and do it… we can always do it another time… we dont have to do this today…” you nodded “you are right… i still love you… even if we never do it… im with you for you not for…. you know” you two grew up with pretty strict rules about sex and being gay. you had catholic parents and ellie was always bullied about being gay. “i love you pretty thing…” ellie mumbled and rubbed your back. “yeahhh… i love you… and shimmer… and your hands” ellie raised her eyebrow “yeah? what about my hands?” “dont start something you cant finish” you teased. “i always finish what i start” ellie rolled her eyes playfully “we just stopped cuz you were overheating because of a half naked girl on your lap.” then you got hit with a pillow and laughter filled the room “i did not!!” ellie was offended “yes you did!” you chuckled. “i still love you… my overheating baby…” you took a puff “addicted hoe” ellie rolled her eyes and pulled you into a kiss. ohhh you were so in love with her. tag list: @abandonedstars1 @hellothisiskitty13 @snowy-vee @mellifluousgirll
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menlove · 6 months ago
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one thing that adds to credibility of Paul being closeted imo, is that often he is thought of as having this internalised homophobia, if not homophobia itself, because he always mentions how un-gay he is whenever some gay subject comes up in interviews
but like, there are so many things that disprove him being homophobic, it's not even funny. going to Paris alone with gay men? Paul did that two times (three if we count John lol) and that Peter Brown story is incrediblyy suspect. what homophobic man, scared of gay, sits on the bed of his male employee and his male fling that casually late at night in his hotel room and chats them up?
most likely reason, combined with his incredibly suspect lyrics, is that he is so defensive about his sexuality because he has something to hide
THATS WHAT IIIIIM SAYING!!!! like he is so comfortable w gay people and gay culture which on its own isn't suspect but it Is when people insist he's homophobic as a Reason He's Repressed Not Closeted. and once again I must remind everyone that john nearly beat a man to death for calling him gay and was still undeniably queer.
it's just like. imagine for a moment. with me. everyone hold my hand. not claiming this is true but walk w me along this path to get to current paul that isn't "he's just repressed and stupid and doesn't even know he's bi" but is instead MY speculative timeline (somehow this turned into a mini fic or something god help me but I'M SO SERIOUS IM SO SERIOUS THIS WOULD MAKE THE MOST SENSE TO ME WALK WITH ME HOLD MY HAND)
you are born in the 1940s. you are raised by a strict man who was physically abusive & in a culture that hates gay people. you grow up watching people get killed for being queer and being bullied over your feminine features that people think make you queer. you hit puberty and Shit Gets Harder because you start finding other men hot. elvis, for one! when you're 15 you start seeing a boy around that you think is hot and it turns out he's in a band and you fall in love with his looks and his voice and then him. and he's just as insane about you. you start doing increasingly sexual things together. eventually, you're having a full blown sexual affair. while writing love songs together and growing up together. and then he gets his girlfriend pregnant. and marries her. and you lose him, a little bit. he goes off and has an affair with your gay manager & when he gets home he ruins your birthday party by nearly beating a man to death for bringing it up. you wonder what he'd do if anyone found out about the two of you too.
and then the insane happens and you end up The Most Famous Band In The World. the ENTIRE world is watching your every move. the entire world loves you. they wouldn't love you if they knew. you get a girlfriend and it's convenient because she's always gone and you're always alone. but you still have him. and other girls. through everything, you have each other. even when he says something stupid and the world wants all of your heads on a platter and he starts to fall into a depression, you still have each other. even if now you Know how bad it could be if they ever found out. and then your manager, your father figure, an openly gay man, dies. and it's not a suicide, but a lot of people think it is, and sometimes you wonder, and fuck it's terrifying, isn't it? the reality of your life, the reality of loving Him, the reality of being queer. what if that winds up being You? you start to lose Him a little bit more as you throw yourself into your work and push everyone way too hard. you propose to your girlfriend. and then you do lose Him. to a woman. which was sort of unthinkable because he was already married and never cared about her, just you. never cared about any women, just you. but he cares about Her. and you fucking lose your mind. lose yourself in drugs. blow up your engagement. propose to another girl and many more "jokingly". your one girlfriend says you had to try again or you would have gone "raving queer" and killed yourself. the whole time you're losing Him more and more. suddenly he's looking at Her like he used to look at you. you're no longer his world and what the fuck do you have? a bunch of girls you don't care about and a drug problem? and then you meet a woman who, according to you, is more woman than anyone else. she's a mother already, a family ready made when you've always wanted one. she's smart and she's funny and she's quick and you let yourself cling to her because you don't have Him and he has Her so you've got to have someone, don't you? and she winds up pregnant and that's great, that's wonderful, you're no longer in danger of dying alone and queer and sad. you've lost Him by now completely, even though you have about a month where things feel a little less awful again and you perform together one last time. you marry her and you ASK people, flat out, if they expected you to be a 26 year old unmarried queer. you fight the night before you're married for some unknown reason, so badly she almost leaves you. and then He marries Her, and everything is fine. and then it all falls apart completely. you at least had Him as your friend, your writing partner, the other half of you legally. and then he asks for a divorce. and the world ends. you don't have the band, you don't have Him, you don't have anything. you stay in bed all day, drinking, miserable. like a breakup, not just of the band.
eventually, your wife pulls you out of it. you survive. you start writing again. you write to him. you put two beetles fucking on the cover of your second album and he thinks a song you wrote about your wife's ex is about him (and maybe it is, a little) and he shoots right back. and you keep that up for a decade. writing to each other. seeing each other only in the news and in snatched moments together where nothing is the same as it was. you plead with him through your music: why do you hurt me so bad? call me, pretty baby. I'm waking up screaming over you. I can't tell you how I feel. you try and make things like they were, even a little, showing up to his house with your guitar like you're 15 again, but he sends you away. in all that time, he's basically gone to conversion therapy. he's with someone who makes disparaging remarks about his sexuality. for you, you've let yourself embrace being a bit campy, but you still can't bring yourself to be open about any of it. not with anyone but your wife.
and then you start talking again. you make up. things seem hopeful. it seems like he might still love you and he writes you a song about starting over with you. and then he's murdered. and it's senseless. it's so so senseless. and it's unfair. you lock yourself away for days listening to that song he wrote you. the media tears you apart for grieving wrong. they wish you died instead. they think you're cold. you never loved him, not like he loved you. you write a song, with tear marks on the page, telling him how much you DID love him. all the things you'd say to him if he were there with you. you write more songs about that, all centered around that theme. some of them you say are about him. others you don't. once, you say if anyone catches on you can just deny it. but he wrote you love songs too, apparently, for you, and you eventually record them with your old band
and the thing is, You are one of his widows. his name follows yours every time it leaves someone's mouth. he's all anyone ever talks about with you. he's all you want to talk about too. his legacy is your legacy. he's no longer here to tell people about his sexuality, he's no longer here to consent to everything that you were being told. he's not here. and how can you even begin to mention Your Own sexuality without bringing him up? you owe him more than outing him in death. you owe Her more than that too, because you were already cruel to her and so was the world. she's grieving just like you, you can't do that. your wife dies, and now you're her legacy too and you being queer would seem like a betrayal to her. your best friend dies, and now he's your legacy too. you aren't just you- you're Him, you're 1/2 of the living members of the most famous band to ever exist, you're Her, you're your dead wife
so when someone asks you about him. when someone asks you about being gay or calls him the love of your life. What Exactly Are You Supposed To Say?
I wouldn't say shit either
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bountycancelled · 1 year ago
Text
something more than friends
(lucy gray baird x reader)
tip me on kofi if you feel so inclined
requested: yep, I hope you like it anon♡
content: a little bit of angst but mainly fluff, men (derogatory), kinda lovesick!lucy gray, jealous lucy gray (we love to see it), pretty intense description of kissing but no smut.
warnings: a very brief mention of drinking, internalised homophobia but it doesn't last long, gay stuff (duh), lowercase intended I know boo I'm annoying.
a/n: I haven't read the book yet so idk much about the covey so their appearance may ooc but that's solely due to my lack of knowledge on them
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lucy gray baird never faltered when she sang.
there were very few things that could get under her skin when she was on that stage, strumming her guitar and twirling in her skirt as the district folk stomped along to the beat.
sure, sometimes drunkards and the occasional hung up ex would try to cause a scene, attempting to gain her attention from below, but she would simply roll her eyes, waiting for someone to take care of them so that she could go back to doing what she did best. performing.
so what exactly had happened to make the lucy gray baird, forget a line in a song?
she was quick to remedy her mistake, carrying the tune in such a way that most patrons didn't even notice her mess up. but ironically enough, the very cause of her brain fog noticed. you.
you gave her a worried look, but she brushed it off, willing herself to continue playing as if nothing was wrong. and technically, nothing was wrong. you were there, in the far back of the crowd, wearing a white dress with a drink in your hand. and Lucy Gray didn't mean to be cliché, but you really did look like an angel, something divine that she had the honour of setting her eyes on.
but obviously, she wasn't the only one who thought that.
you were speaking to some man. which was fine, you were always the most gorgeous girl in the room in her eyes and she knew that she wasn't the only one who appreciated your beauty, you were always needing to awkwardly laugh at men's advances and brush them off as best as you could, but you weren't doing that tonight.
you were laughing, a genuine laugh, leaning in to hear his voice over the music, over her singing. she wanted to jump off of the stage and break her guitar over that assholes face, and she couldn't explain why.
she had always known that one day, you'd settle down with a kind man who cared for you (not nearly as much as she did, but that was okay) and then she would see you less and less. but knowing didn't make the taste in her mouth any more bitter.
the first time you told her about a crush that you had, on a boy named Tom, she spent the whole night convincing you that he just wasn't right for you. you believed her of course, rejecting him swiftly the next week when he asked you to go on a walk with him, walking instead with lucy gray, hand in hand.
but then, she did it every time you spoke about a boy, and you started to believe her less and less. 'I think you're just jealous lucy gray, and you don't anybody taking my attention away from you.'
you were right, she was jealous, and the thought of you, with a man, it disgusted her to her core. which is why she took off as soon as her set ended, not even staying for the applause as she searched for you outside.
there you were, and thankfully, you were alone, no undeserving man in sight.
she ran up to you, her brown eyes seemingly sparkling even in the darkened night. "how'd you enjoy the show, darlin'?"
her heart jumped when you smiled at her, your eyes crinkling in joy as you took both of her hand in yours, squeezing them affectionately. "you have the voice of an angel, lucy gray. and I envy the lucky fella who's gonna marry you, and have to serenade them whenever they want."
lucy gray rolled her eyes in a good natured fashion, trying to ignore the knot in her stomach when you mentioned her getting married. "I already serenade you, sweet thing. and im not gonna let some wedding band stop me."
you laughed airily, leading her by the hand towards the lake, where you spent most nights together. you sat down at the edge, laying your head in her lap when she sat beside you. her hand went to your hair, and she fought the urge to by giddy at the sight of your head in her lap, you were just... perfect.
"who was that guy that you were talking to back then? when I was singing, I mean." she asked, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.
you thought back to about an hour prior, picturing every person that you had been with throughout the evening as you tried to recall who she was asking about in particular. "oh! that was matthew, his dad and my dad go way back, but the two of us never really shared their closeness for whatever reason. but after speaking to him tonight I'm a bit upset that I never tried to grow a friendship with him earlier."
she nodded, her cherry glossed lips pressing into a thin line. "he doesn't just wanna be friends with you though, I could see it." you scoffed playfully, raising a brow at her curiously. "you were all the way up on stage, in the middle of your favourite song to perform, and somehow, you could tell that much from so far away?"
she opened her mouth to defend herself, but after realising just how insane the notion sounded when you phrased it in that way, she quickly closed it again. "I'm not gonna let any man take me away from you, lucy gray, believe me when I say that I can't live without you."
your words sent a fury of butterflies in her stomach, and she swore that felt dizzy as you picked your head up, moving your face so close to hers that your noses were almost touching. she wanted to kiss you. god, what the hell was wrong with her? how could she be thinking of you in this way?
despite her inner conflict, she made no moves to create some distance between your faces, selfishly wanting to stay like this for as long as you'd let her. "I wish we could get married." she sighed, her eyes widening at her own words. "I meant- not like, I didn't mean- not in, like, a husband and wife typa way-"
you cut her off with trying to, with a tilt of your head making her suck in a sharp breath. "you don't wanna do husband and wife things with me?" you asked, and she could swear that your voice had a certain tone about it, one that made her cheeks feel blazing and her breaths shallow.
she shook her head, her usually fierce tone reduced to a meek almost whisper. "we can't do those stuff together."
you were too close for comfort. she could feel the tip of your nose against hers and if you leaned in any further, she was sure that she would combust. "who cares if we can't? the more important question is, do you want to?"
inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. she had forgotten how to breath. this wasn't right, she knew that, so why were her lips on yours in a flash, her hands in your hair, around your waist, holding your hands, touching any part of you that she could reach as the two of you kissed? in public, no less?
she couldn't find it in her mind to stop, not when your soft, sweet lips moved in tandem with hers as if you were molded to fit each other. when you pulled away, with lucy gray chasing your lips with an involuntary whine, you held her by the shoulders, a look of concern on your face.
that was when she felt it. the guilt knawing at her stomach, and the tears that flowed down her face. was she crying because of how overwhelming her feelings were for you? maybe it was because she knew that you would have to hide... whatever had just happened between the two of you.
you leaned your forehead against hers, you sweet voice easing her fear. "I love you." she nodded, not being able to say it back just yet, but she could only hope that you knew. she moved to kiss you again, being startled out of her mind by a girlish scream in the distance.
it was maude ivory, eyes wide and hand slapped over her mouth in shock, with an equally suprised tam amber standing next to her. lucy gray felt sick to her stomach.
"I knew it." tam Amber said with a shrug, moving to sit next to the two fo you as she stared out at the moonlit lake. "no one looks at their friend like how lucy gray looks at you."
"can I be the flower girl? and the maid of honour? and the priest?" maude ivory rambled, laying half in lucy grays lap and half in yours. you simply laughed, explaining that her dream wasn't exactly possible but flower girl was certainly doable as lucy gray watched, tears threatening to fall from her eyes once again. only this time, they were of relief.
the joy she felt in her chest, at the thought that you could be... together in front of the covey was the best gift she could possibly be given. you and her, together. not just as best friends. although it was hard to wrap her head around it, she knew that it was exactly what she wanted and she had it on good authority that you wanted it too.
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genderqueerdykes · 22 days ago
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Idk if this is the right place to go but I'm not quite sure where else to put this. I'm very sorry if it's not the right place!
As a trans guy, I just have to wonder just how bad my luck is with trans women blogs and my general interaction with trans women IRL???
I'm stating it now that every single person can be an asshole. No matter their gender. I know I'm just having severely bad luck. Trans girls are forever my sisters and I'll back them up if I need to.
But also, why am I only encountering trans women who unironically want to put trans men and trans masculine people's heads on a spike.
I've close genderqueer friends but never managed to become friends with a trans girl yet (I know a few I'm acquainted with, as an art student in college - trans people of all shapes and sizes are a dime a dozen here) because at some point the fact they fundementally hate trans men comes out into the open. It's scary. Why are we in-fighting? Why does my sheer existence hurt you? The cousin of my crush is a trans girl, and she threw such a fit when she heard her cousin was going to go on a date with me. Not that it matters, relationship didn't work out (we're great friends) but I had never talked to this woman!! Ever!!!! My crush just relayed to me at the time that she did not like me because they told her I was a trans guy!!!!!!!
Trans men who hurt them obviously should be held accountable. They're pieces of shit. Again: every gender can be a fucking asshole. But why generalize? Why would you suddenly ostracize me if I revealed myself as a trans guy to you instead of a butch woman when we've had nothing but pleasant conversations up until now?
I feel like I'm being oversensitive, or that I'm making a big issue out of something so minimal. But why are we in-fighting? Why? Why, why why???
you're not being over sensitive, this is a genuine problem right now and it's affecting people in real time. what people don't seem to care about is that this deeply hurts and affects the people who are being ostrasized. which is something people should care about
you're not imagining things or anything like that and your experiences are very important to be discussed. it is quite literally "the right thing to do" or "cool" or whatever to shit on trans men right now. like currently, in 2024, almost 2025, we are seeing now more than ever, people who proudly hate trans men. this is transphobia. people NEED to care. you're not alone in feeling this way. even i feel this way, and i'm an intersex trans wo/man. i shouldn't have to feel this way, i'm literally a trans woman and i'm made to feel weary about other trans girls suddenly hating me when they find out i'm also a trans man because gender is complicated and being intersex is a complex experience
people will gladly openly hate on trans men. we are now the sacrificial lamb. we are now the punching bag. for a while people really hated cis gay men. like really hated them. the "im twinkphobic" shit was literal overt homophobia and nobody cared. everyone was on board with hating cis gay men for one reason or another. a lot of people were calling feminine cis gay men transmisogynistic, or transfem eggs. now things have shifted and its trans men who are the big problem.
rad feminism is taking over large parts of our community and people refuse to talk about it. people are happily rad fems, and a lot of trans girls identify as transradfems, which is just about as transphobic as you can get. it's never progressive to hate someone for their gender. ever. it's always transphobia. i don't know how so many trans girls got it in their heads that rad feminism just needed to accept trans women and trans women only for it to be a good ideology. i've said it before, but the unfortunate truth is a lot of trans women are desperate to feel validated in their womanhood, and some see man-hating "lesbian" women as the most "woman" thing you can be, as it's the "direct opposite" to being a man. trans women will gladly walk down this path for the sake of gender euphoria and attacking trans men because they're taking someone else's gender personally.
it doesn't matter if you don't see trans men as trans- we are. trans men are trans. transgender, transsexual, transvestites- doesn't matter. trans men get called trannies, too. trans men get misgendered. trans men face corrective rape. it's seriously not cool to see trans men as "copying" trans women, or whatever. i've seen people claim that trans men are really just masculine girls, and that it's okay for women to dress masculine so we should just do that instead. i've seen people say that trans men literally aren't trans because who would want to transition into manhood? i've heard people say that trans men just transition to hurt people. i've heard that trans men aren't "real" trans people and "Aren't trustworthy" sources of information on trans experiences
it's ridiculous. people are completely blinded to what the real problem is. the real problem is the queerphobes above us. i'm with you: why are we infighting like this again? what's the point? the entire point of the queer community is to accept people who step outside of the cisheternormative panopticon we've invented and enforced. it's such a broad array of people. not all experiences will be the same. manhood is desireable, just like womanhood. manhood is not inherently toxic. it's not something everyone wants to escape.
i sincerely hope people wake up and start realizing this is doing nothing but helping conservatives, terfs and transphobes. it's not helping other trans girls. some trans women are also trans men. intersex trans women exist. multigender trans women exist. genderfluid trans women exist. some trans women are also men and we're shooting everyone in the foot by behaving this way.
like do people not realize there are trans women who are also men? you're alienating all of these women with all this man hating. you're not just hurting cishet and trans men here: you're hurting every possible group of person. not every trans woman despises the concept of manhood. wanting to transition out of manhood doesn't mean you have to hate or condemn it. manhood being bad for you doesn't mean it's bad for everyone else
i hope you start to feel better soon. you are more than welcome to come back any time, it's really pervasive right now, but we have to stick together and challenge it when we see it. we have to remind ourselves that this is absolutely unhinged entitled behavior that doesn't reflect how trans men are treated in the real world and how we operate and function. it's shitty but fortunately there are lots of trans women who are allies to trans men. it's a very vocal minority that hate trans men that badly
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harucchii · 7 months ago
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Why ARE you proud of your asexuality, exactly? And how did and does it shape how you are as a person, having a natural lack of sexual attraction to anyone? What makes it important enough to celebrate? I'm asking genuinely because I don't understand and would like to. Thank you.
Hi! happy pride month :D
I am proud of my asexuality because is a part of me!! is something that affects the way i see people and for obvious reasons my relationships and trying to hide it or change will only lead me to be miserable
through my whole life i experienced things differently when it comes to attraction to people, i never seemed to develope crushes on my classmates or celebrities, cause i just.. didint care? to a point my mom got worried and straight up asked me if i was gay because my lack of interest "was not normal"
when i was in my first long term relationship my lack of sexual needs and desire was a huge issue that would lead on fights very often and my former partner to feel unloved as i would prefer just to cuddle or watch a movie. This back and foward with him and constant fights made me feel like efectibly was somethign wrong with me and transformed sex more of a chore than something im supposed to enjoy or want
thing which developed a huge sexual trauma on me but also helped me to understand that, that relationship would never work because i just could never deliver what he wanted and his needs were different than mine. we were just hurting each other
i also got sent to doctors by my mother as to find what was "wrong" with me as my lack of sexual needs was not "normal" for her
there is so much i had to deal and endure my whole adulthood because of this, because i experience thigns differently
now. more big and more mature i can confidently say, im asexual. I celebrate my asexuality because There was nothign wrong with me and the way i experience thigns is just different
i celebrate it and i mention it as an important part of myself because i know i will not be able to be in a fullfiling relationship if my partner is not aware of this fact or not willing to accept it
i celebrate it because doctors didnt found anything wrong in me and i just love differently. and asuming that lack of sexual attraction is part of an illness hurts people who might be dealing with this feelings!
I celebrate because in a hyper sexualized world i dont really seem to fit in, AND THAT IS OKAY, because the way i live my life should not affect others and they way they live theirs
i do feel romantic attraction! i can fall in love and love other person!! but i just cant deliver what most people would be expect in a relationship and that is okay!
And finally i celebrate to ensure online that the people who experience love differently just like me are not alone in this journey and will be okay :3. just a lil bit of emotional support for who might feel broken due what others say to them
I apologize if i repeat myself or i wronte something wrong as english is not my main language
have a good day!
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