#did you know that if you hit play on youtube it's going to start playing videos?

[hayateart]

This might be a personal pet peeve of mine but if I see a video recipe that starts with 'Did you know that if...' i immediately skip the video.

If you want to tell me how to cook something, just tell me that we're cooking. Don't make it sound like it's a fun fact when it's not.

[shoveitevil]

god. why does no one care about me in this damned house

[batshit-auspol]

So a bit of background first for our international followers: Clive Palmer is one of Australia's many mining billionaires who like to meddle in our country's politics, and as such he is utterly despised by all of Australia.

Picture for context:

He is most commonly known online by the title "Fatty McFuckhead", (problematic as it may be) because he tried to sue a youtuber for $500,000 for calling him that - and he lost. So the name stuck.

Up until his most recent foray into parliament, the legally certified Fuckhead was best known for his batshit business ventures, such as attempting to build "The Titanic 2" (failed) and trying to build a dinosaur theme park (also failed, but at least nobody got eaten by a T-Rex in this one).

For a very long time Clive played the role of sugar daddy to Australia's largest conservative party, the ironically named Liberal Party, until they had a falling out in 2012 after Clive claimed there was too much money influencing politics (lol), at which point he started his own party, days after saying he totally quit and wasn't fired and he only left because he didn't want to be a distraction.

His initial run at parliament was actually kinda successful, with Palmer's group winning 4 seats, plus a member from the "Motoring Enthusiasts Party" joined them too after accidentally getting elected and not knowing what the fuck to do.

Despite this initial success however, Palmer's party (which ran on basically no platform other than "I'm rich") hit an iceberg (titanic 2 achieved) and seven elected state and federal politicians quit within the first year.

By the time the next federal election rolled around, only one Palmer party candidate was still running for re-election. The most successful of this group - Jaquie Lambie - quit to sit as an independant and is still in parliament today.

Here she is with a painting of herself strangling Clive (she sells signed copies of this)

And here the senator is posting about liking sausage:

Anyway, we're getting to the point: which is the yellow posters. By the 2016 election, just two years after forming, the party was in complete freefall. It won just 0.01% of the vote at their second election, and it was announced shortly after that Clive was quitting politics and the party was being shut down. Australia breathed a sigh of relief.

It was, of course, short lived.

Clive, in desperate need of attention, restarted the party for the 2019 election, fielding candidates in every seat and spending $60 million in advertising in an attempt to win votes.

Every single candidate lost.

It was in this campaign however that Australia really started to fall out of love with Palmer, because most of that $60 million went towards putting up the world's least compelling marketing billboards on almost every single free space in the country.

For a good six months this was basically the only thing you would see in Australia if you went outside:

Clearly Graphic design is his passion. And yes, the genius did just straight up try and copy Trump's homework while changing a few words, hoping nobody would notice.

Very quickly these all got vandalised and it seemed the ad companies didn't care enough to replace them.

We could go on posting examples, there are thousands, but the best is definitely the one Ikea put up shortly after Clive lost the election:

In 2022, Clive's party contested the election AGAIN, this time also opting to send millions on spam text messages to every person in Australia begging for people to vote for him, as well as buying almost every youtube ad for a year, at the cost of $100 million.

He won a whopping one seat.

During this election Clive ran on an anti-lockdown, anti-vax platform with the slogan "freedom, freedom, freedom". That message, however, was slightly undermined when his goons, dressed in 'Freedom!' shirts, made national news for trying to beat up a protester who turned up at a rally dressed as an annoying text message, shouting "pay your workers" at Clive.

As if that wasn't bad enough, at another rally Clive knocked himself unconscious while trying to jump up on stage, and then a few weeks later was rushed to hospital with covid, while his anti-vax ads were still in regular rotation on TV, at which point it was also leaked to the press that Palmer had been alledgedly trying to buy Hitler's car.

Utterly humiliated, the party deregistered again shortly after the election.

Can't wait until he runs again in 2025.

Anyway, on the other "Clive tweeting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon" thing, we have no idea what that means but here's a screencap:

[danrifics]

good morning i have slept a total of 2 hours here’s my spoiler breakdown for terrible influence antwerp

they start by playing a text to speech voice who welcomes us and the straight boyfriends and the dads (they’re a bit obsessed with the dads i’ll be real) the voice tells us if we film she’s gonna sue are asses. text to speech lady she is an icon

dnp come out and they’re like yo this is cool it’s the first show, you guys are gonna see what we’ve been up to and then they’re like it’s the first show so we can use you guys to decide if we change anything

they they’re like there’s probably people in the audience who don’t really know us so they do a 15 years of dan and phil lore breakdown with dolls of themselves in little set of iconic dnp locations (made by pj and sophie btw) they put these sets in a table in front of a camera and it shows on the big screen, (for 1 section of this the screen doesn’t work for the first part lol) also phil makes the dolls kiss and they also make the dolls hump the breakfast bar cos of course they do

i can’t remember what happens next or maybe it jumps right into the next thing i mention

they play a game show called role model or no-model which is a madlibs style game where you have to decide if the version of dan and phil the audience creates is a role model or not these are compared to real dnp. we had homophobic furry lawyer dan and linguistics dr phil wo has a thing for hamsters. just an fyi for this dan is really good at hearing what the audience is saying and phil is not at all and im pretty sure he made his up cos he couldn’t understand what we wanted

okay so after this iirc they start talking about the youtube landscape and what they’re gonna do after tour and how to keep people entertained and they go on a little adventure through different genres of youtube like minecraft lets plays, vtubers and then they pretend to be mr beast and pretend to give away a bunch of stuff that they don’t have, they cure us of any mental health issues and they cure us from being gay <3

then they decide to have a boxing match cos obvs that’s what youtubers do, they ask us to cheer for whoever they want to win and it has cool intro to it! i’ll be honest this boxing match goes on for entirely too long like it spans the end of the first half and the start of the second but they have like choreographed fighting and OMFG it’s very gay and like suggestive and they do many times look like they’re gonna have sex 😂 like one of phils moves is to hit dan with his ass while dan is holding him from behind so… yeah. anyway dan thought he won ours and then phil knocked him out with a tv, as he should!! also before they end the first half they’re having an insult match where phils tells dan hes gonna burn his house down only for dan to say they live in the same house and i was dying it was so funny, phil also calls dan a dickhead and this is where he also calls him a cunt and that’s how the first half ends. oh also phil has a fake 6 pack on and that’s the $300 dollar silicone btw

okay second half after dan is dead they have a sincere moment and then they’re like you guys keep telling us you want load of long unedited content and they ask us to tell them a topic to monologue about and someone shouts feet and they rant about feet lmao phil excitedly tells everyone he has a better wiki feet rating than dan

then dan goes on a rant about being discriminated against as a millennial (can’t remember how we got there) and phil gets bored and starts watching subway surfers and i’ll be real honest as a gen z i instantly got distracted by subway surfers and didn’t listen to what dan was saying (that was the point tho) and phil keeps turning up the volume and dan gets mad and he storms off

we have a nice sincere moment with phil but idk what tf it was cos neither did phil 😂

then suddenly a voice, oh here she comes, she asks if we’re ready to confess our sins and out comes sister daniel, everyone fucking loses it, if you heard me screaming so loud no you didn’t.

anyway they read some confessions (phil is father philip) and they read out a few including one from @dnphobe !!! phil has a water gun that he didn’t have when he was meant to and couldn’t find and then found and he was spraying it at people to cleanse them of their sins which is what they meant by people being in the splash zone btw also phil sprayed it at dan it was kinda cute

okay so they say they need to go and get changed and they head off stage and there’s a gag where they leave the microphone on and they’re purposely making it sound sexual and it’s so funny and then dan comes out and phil doesn’t cos he’s struggling with his leather fucking trousers that was a completely unscripted part for sure

then they talk about the hiatus a bit and how dan left us and they keep calling us their family and brb while i cry my eyes out

then they pull out a fucking banger of a song, like i can’t even explain to you how good it is, it has a fully like kpop style dance to it that im gonna fucking learn lmao and dan was so good at it like im not even kidding that man was pulling moves!! phil was doing great too btw but he definitely wasn’t as confident in it as dan was but damn it’s the best song yet imo!!

also i forgot to write the conspiracy bit because i forgot where in the show it is but on one of them they were trying so hard to make us say the opposite one but we were literally forcing tour bus on them and yes they confirmed they shared a bed on that tour bus!! and they played it off like its okay for friends to do that (cos it is) but they way they said it was that thing again where they blur the line a little so we know what they actually mean but still pretend they mean something else

okay some little things i remember that i didn’t write above

- “i can’t imagine my life without you”

- “it’ll be 15 years in december” (if you know you know)

- the absolute silence after they confirmed the bed thing cos none of us were actually expecting it

- dan had to prompt phil a little to remind him what to say next but it was very cute

- they kept looking at each other in *that* way

- phil lied to us about when norman died cos he had norman merch coming out

- sleepless night with phil 3 is fake!!

- they showed *that* video of phil asleep on the tour bus

- there were multiple times where i thought they’re gonna kiss right now???

-phil called dan kinda sexy

- ALL IS FORGIVEN, ANYTHING FROM THE LAST WE MIGHT HAVE DONE IS FORGIVEN THEY LOVE US WE ARE A FAMILY THEY ARE LITERALLY OUR DADS

[ribread03]

Our Song I

m.sturniolo

Summery: When you receive a DM from nick asking you about doing a collaboration with them you cant help but say yes!

THIS IS MY WORK AND MY IDEA! PLEASE DONT USE THIS AS “INSPIRATION” OR TAKE IT WITHOUT GETTING MY PERMISSION FIRST! thank you :)

AN: this is part one of the series “our song” if you would like to know more about “y/n” you can use the mood board! Enjoy :)

Y/N POV

You’re sitting at your desk editing the newest YouTube video you plan to put out. Music is playing in the background as you zone out into your computer. Your phone dings, pulling you out your computer to see who might have messaged you.

Your heart skips a beat when you see “nicolassturniolo sent you a message” in your notification stack. You’ve been a fan of the sturniolo triplet since what felt like forever, and now Nick is messaging you on instagram. You’re in such a state of shock as you open the message, hands trembling as you read what it says;

“Hello, Me, Matt and Chris have come across your YouTube channel and we’re wondering if you want to collab with us sometime in the future….”

Flash Back Two Weeks Ago…

You had just finished editing a YouTube video to post, hitting the post button you close your computer and lay down to take a nap. Expecting the usual few hundred comments and likes when you wake up in a few hours.

Boy were you wrong… A few hours go by and you wake up and see that your video has blown up, thousands of views, thousands of comments, and thousands of new subscribers. Your eyes scan your phone “congratulations on 1 MILLION subscribers” was in your email.

“OH! MY! GOD!” You screamed out, alerting your parents who happened to be downstairs, to hear you. Jumping up and out of bed, starting to exit your room, stepping over piles of books and clothes.

“Y/N? Are you okay!?” You can hear your mother frantically call up to you while walking up the stairs.

“I HIT A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!” You say excitedly while meeting her in the hallway…

Back to the present…

“Oh. my. god…” you say quietly, fingers hovering over your screen, scared that if you hit anything this will all be a figment of your imagination. Clicking on the notification you hold your breath as your phone unlocks and opens instagram… this is no figment of your imagination. This is real life and the triplets really want to collaborate with you.

You let out a few more silent “omgs” before heading downstairs to talk to your mom about all of this. You exit your room and walk down the stairs, “Momma?” You say softly as you round the corner into the kitchen.

“Yeah sweetie?” Your mom says as she’s washing the dishes. You sit on a small stool on the floor before you talk again, petting your cat, nugget, that was by your feet.

“I got a message from Nick Sturniolo, asking if I wanted to collaborate with them,” you can hear the excitement in your voice as you tell your mom. Your mom also knows that you’ve been a fan, and practically obsessed, with these three boys since high school and have always wanted to meet them one day.

“You did? That’s great honey, what did you say?” She asks turning the sink off and turning to face you.

“I didn’t answer yet.. I'm honestly scared because what if they change their minds?” You explain to your mom with a nervous chuckle. Your cat had now made its way up onto your lap, purring loudly.

“I think you should do whatever you want, just know that a flight out to LA might be expensive.” You took your mom’s words to heart and gave her a small nod.

“I want to go out and meet them, a collaboration would help me so much.. maybe if I get a little more information then I’ll be able to see if I can afford it or not,” you explained back to your mom, pulling your phone out to DM Nick back.

“I would love to collab with you guys one day! That has been an absolute dream of mine forever. I would love to share some more information about when and where if possible.” You hit send with slightly shaky fingers before talking to your mom again, “I just messaged him back, I asked him for some more details on when and where we would collab”

“Okay sweetie,” your mom says softly before returning to whatever she was doing in the kitchen, before you came out there to talk to her. You give your cat a few more pets before standing and going back into your room, waiting for Nick to message you back with more details surrounding this possible future collaboration…

Matts POV

“Did you ask her yet?” Matt was sitting next to Nick looking over at his phone. Matt had seen your YouTube video and thought you were the most beautiful, funny, and relatable person on the internet, and he knew right then and there he needed to meet you.

He had asked Nick and Chris what they thought of some of your YouTube videos, hinting at the idea of a collaboration with you. Saying and pointing out things that would hopefully catch his brother's attention and make them also want to meet you, just maybe not for the same reason.

Matt would find himself scrolling through your instagram when he was bored, careful not to like any of your posts, wanting to keep you out of his fans stalking obsessions before he could even properly meet you. Thumbs carefully scrolling on TikTok as he watches every video you’ve made on there, watching how every video is a little different.

“Yes Matt, I did ask her,” Nick says with a slight eye roll, becoming tired of his brother’s constant asking. Nick's phone dings lightly, alerting that someone messaged him, the someone being you. Nick opens instagram and the messages that the two of you have sent back and forth. Matt's eyes scan the screen quickly, not caring that he might be invading some privacy of his brothers.

Matt's eyes land on the words, “I would love to collab with you guys one day! That has been an absolute dream of mine forever…” and he immediately becomes happier, his smile widening and eyes seem to sparkle and little more.

Nick sends you a quick DM back, asking if regular texting would be easier to send information through and that the collab would be sometime within the next two months. “I can’t believe she said yes!” Matt explains to Nick, his excitement evident in his tone.

“I didn’t think she would say no,” Nick says calmly, typing out his phone number to send to you…

AN: i hope you enjoyed this first part! If you would like to be on the tag list for this series comment on this post! Just asking to be added and i will do so :) feed back and thoughts are always welcome!

All boarders are from @issysh3ll

[freshxsturniolo]

but, why? PART TWO. chris sturniolo x femreader!

disclaimer : i hate the fact i had to use some random male name for this story to work lmao but i didn't want this to be about another influencer / youtuber. enjoy!!!!!

they had been waiting for you, like a damn interrogation, when you arrived at their house. you had your own key, of course, and you announced your arrival as you slipped off your shoes at the bottom of the stairs. no sound rang out but you didn't think anything of it, the noise of the tv above you loud enough for you to know they were probably scattered around the middle floor of their house. you turned to walk up the stairs, and an eye roll came so easy as you saw the three of them. sat together on the couch, arms crossed together, looking at you intensely.

"you're all so fucking annoying." you muttered under your breath, but with every intention for them to hear.

nick broke character first, laughing as he lunged off the couch and walked over to you, taking the slurpee tray from your hand and placing it on the coffee table before turning and giving you a hug. his familiar smell, always smelling like he had just got out the shower, comforting you immediately. you couldn't help but let out a smile as you squeezed your best friend.

when you finally removed yourself from the embrace, matt was standing closely behind, waiting to give you a hug too.

"you didn't text me back" he mumbled into your hair, and you laughed as you patted his back lightly.

"sorry, bernard. im here now" you said into his chest. he chuckled as he let go of you.

"i need to use the bathroom, don't start the story telling without me" he said with a cheeky grin. you rolled your eyes once again, going to jokingly slap his arm, but he had got away too quickly.

nick had made his way into the kitchen, the slurpee you had bought him already in his hand as he walked across to cupboard, pulling out some chips. but you eyes quickly diverted to chris, his ass firmly still on the couch, arms still folded. you stared at him for a short second before walking over to him, standing directly in front of him. his position didn't move but his eyes did, as they looked you up and down. you dipped your knees, so they hit his, before you stood back up again. one quick motion. he still didn't move. you stared at him intensely, nick now signing the words to a billie eilish song behind you both, before you shrugged and turned around. you knew not playing into chris' games was the way to get him to stop. his hands where on your waist in seconds, and you pulled down onto the space beside him where matt had just been in one swift swoop.

"CHRIS" you shouted, as he removed his hands from your waist, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest.

"what?" he said, like nothing had happened, and you couldn't help but laugh as you swung your arm around his waist. you stayed like that for a moment before matt reappeared.

"oh gods" he began, picking up his slurpee now along with yours and made his way over to you both. "you two are unbelievable"

you laughed, but you won't deny you noticed the way chris gave his brother a stern eye as you took the slurpee from him. you watched them both, having removed yourself from chris' chest, but before you could question it, nick finally appeared.

"okay" he said, grabbing chris' slurpee and walking over to you to you, slamming himself down on the couch next to chris, matt sitting closely behind. "tell us everything"

you groaned, automatically pushing yourself into chris' side, who's arm had not left you shoulder yet, and took a sip of your drink. when your eyes diverted back up to the three boys, they were all staring at you. matt and nick with a smirk, chris with what you could only describe as ... intrigue.

you sigh. "okay, so you know i've been going on dates with him, right?"

"no" chris answers immediately, and your eyes divert to him with a wince. of course he didn't know, neither did matt. you had only briefly confided in nick and clearly, true to his word, he hadn't uttered even an whisper to his two brothers. your eyes quickly glance in his direction, and he confirms with a shake of his head he'd kept quiet. you look away before either of his brothers notice.

"well" you say, looking at chris now. "i have. and hes super nice, okay? we've been for dinner and drinks a few times and i just have a good sense about him. this feels really different."

you could feel chris' breathing becoming harsher, but you ignore it as you look over to nick and matt, both with smiles on their faces. you can't stop the small laugh that escapes your mouth, like a little school girl.

"so, hes really not your boyfriend yet?" nick asks with a widened eye. but you smile.

"i mean, he hasn't asked me yet, but..." and you go quiet, butterflies in your stomach as you think back to just a few hours earlier. the kisses, the hand touching, the things he was saying. "he called me his girl earlier. and he's invited me out with his friends later this week." you look to matt now, almost wanting confirmation from a straight man who would actually tell you the truth. "that means something, right?"

matt smiled as his lips drew away from his slurpee straw. "i mean, none of my friends have ever met a girl i didn't seriously like."

your hear soared. but it didn't last long.

"whats this boys name?" chris said, his arm finally removing from your shoulder. your entire body feeling cold suddenly from the lack of touch. you pulled back slightly too, removing yourself from his side.

"his name is jason" you reply. you're met with an immediate scoff before chris turns away, finally taking a sip from his slurpee.

"what?!" you say firmly, and you notice the look that nick and matt give each other from the corner of your eye. you glance at them just slightly, before turning back to chris. "what?!" you say again, more firmly.

chris shrugs. he shrugs like he didn't care when you knew full well he did, and you dont know why you got your back up about it but you did.

"you know," you said, standing up from the couch and putting your slurpee down. your words were directed at chris but you could see nick and matts eyes widen. "this is exactly why i don't tell you about this type of stuff. every man i have ever spoken to you're down my neck about it. if you won't tell me what the fucking issue is, chris, don't speak to me at all."

you turned on your heel, fishing for your car keys out of your pocket within seconds, reaching the top of the stairs and practically throwing yourself down them. you could hear hushed voices from the three of them muttering to each other, but you didn't care. you wanted, for once, your best friend to be happy for you in a situation like this.

you made it to the bottom of the stairs, you'd managed to open the front door and step outside, before you heard your name being called. you stopped for just a brief second before you let out a sigh, shutting the door behind you anyway. you made your way down the drive and to your car parked out front before you heard the name again, and just a short second afterwards, just as you were about to open your car door, you felt hands on your wrist and you where being pulled into someones chest.

"im sorry" chris said, his familiar smell on his hoodie had clearly just thrown on quickly before coming outside into the evening chill. you stayed rigid, still angry, but if there was anyone you couldn't stay mad at for long it was chris. you sighed, before you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him in even closer as he rested his chin on your head. "im sorry" he said again, and you gave his back a stroke of your thumb before pulling away.

"you're really insufferable sometimes, chris" you said as you looked up at him.

"i know, im sorry." he said again.

"but why?"

he sighed, his eyes looking all over your face like he was questioning himself before speaking. you didn't let your eyes leave his once.

"just-" and he stopped. "i dont know. if you're happy im happy."

there was something inside of you that didn't believe him. part of him that wanted to ask him again, and tell him to be serious. but part of you was scared for the answer. so you didn't. you simply grabbed his hand, spun him around, and started walking back into the direction of his house, throwing yourself into a completely different topic. chris laughed immediately, but you noticed, just briefly, the was his thumbs rubbed against your hand. the way he pulled you in, just a tiny bit closer.

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

Studio TV Solutions presents Half Life VR but the AI are Self-Aware (2020) [not a real movie]. A movie with a totally improv’d script starring a moltey crew who are sure to give you a rip-roarin’ good time!

anyway hi new au just dropped. i’m calling it HLVRAIM. it’s HLVRAI but it’s a blockbuster movie and the science team are played by actors. i have many thought on backstories n stuff that i will stick under a “read more” here otherwise this post will be hella long on people’s dashes. 👇👍 pls care about this i thought so hard and much

Half Life VR but the AI are Self-Aware was put out by Studio TV Solutions in 2020 and destroyed the box office with how fun it was and how well the cast played off one another. The cast was given a general outline for the script with the goal for it to be mostly improv.

Gordon Freeman: Mannie Flores (Dominican American, age 28, he/him) - Popular Youtuber/Twitch streamer (“Radi0Mann”). Got offered the role in HLVRAI thanks to the creative things he’s done in his Youtube/Twitch career. This is his first “official” acting gig. He was pretty starstruck at first, but then as he got to know everyone, he realized they’re all a bunch of dorks (affectionate). - Started off as a gaming channel, but then started branching off into various creative endeavors as he got more popular. He still plays games too though. - One of the things Mannie did in his internet career that hit the mainstream was when he wrote, directed, starred in, and filmed his own movie in just 2 weeks because he failed a bet with his audience. Except the movie was actually really good and funny and heartfelt (i want to say it was about “a man who got left behind on earth after everyone else was raptured because god literally forgot about him”, but i think the concept might’ve been done already). - Met Benji through HLVRAI. They hit it off and now they’re dating. They tried to keep it secret for a while but Mannie had a slip-up during a stream that sort of blew it out of the water.

Benrey: Benji Song (Japanese/Chinese, age 30, he/they) - Started off as a film sound designer in the industry, then through a series of silly willy little events—possibly even shenanigans—got roped into a role in a passion indie film that became wildly acclaimed and flung him into the spotlight. Been an actor ever since, but isn’t the most proactive in taking jobs much to their agent’s annoyance. People never know where he’ll pop up next. Sometimes Benji will sneak in sound designer work behind their agent’s back. - Honestly likes background work more because everyone’s got these expectations of them as an actor that they feel pressured to meet. But he’s also afraid of disappointing people. He’s working on it. - Met their partner Mannie through HLVRAI. Totally was a fan of his streams/videos beforehand though. When they mention that, Mannie gets flustered. - Does music as a hobby. Electronic stuff mostly—enjoys mashing together all sorts of sounds and trying to make them work. After HLVRAI, Mannie’s streams gets cool new music that’s made by somebody going by “johnwicklover1994.” wink

Harold Coomer: Hau’oli “Hau” Kaleo-Kirchhoff (Hawaiian/Samoan, age 66, he/him) - Old musician who’s supposed to be retired but once in a while will release a song or even do a concert (but nothing crazy). - Hau’oli is pronounced [hh-ow-oh-lee], but he also goes by “Hau” for the haoles’ sake. :) Kaleo is [kah-leh-oh]. also Hau’oli sounds a little bit like the name Holly so that’s a fun coincidence i didn’t realize until later. - Most of his music is chill island tunes but he has been known to dabble in rock and jazz. - Married to Mose (been together for 30 years and counting).

Bubby: Mose Kaleo-Kirchhoff (German, age 69 [nice], xe/him) - Veteran actor—been in the acting industry for a long time. One of his more well-known roles was in a popular sci-fi series. - Married to Hau’oli (they got married the moment it was legal). - i went with a name that started with “M” cuz when Gordon first asks Bubby for his name, xe’s like, “mmm Bubby.” and i headcanon it’s because Mose was about to say xir own name and had to swerve last minute and the thing his brain resorted to was Bubby lol.

Tommy Coolatta: Luis Tanglao (Filipino, age 37, he/they) - Child star who dropped out of the industry when he hit his teens and then came back years later as a comedian. He has material about how fucked up being a child star was. Will only take acting roles if it interests them. - They don’t care about how the public/media sees him. He’ll speak his mind and call out BS when he sees it. Interviewing them can be a war zone. - Hosts a popular podcast with some buds they discuss things like video games, their lives, news, etc. Just shooting the shit. - Sunkist is their actual dog and she modeled for the png photo that was used. Her name is actually Biko. She is a very good girl. <3

Darnold Pepper: Sage Haven (African American, age 40, he/her/they) - Famous cooking show host who gets offered roles in movies. Got popular by how unconventional her meals and cooking methods are and how funny he is. - Has had multiple food/cooking/baking shows over the years. Every competition-based one they’ve had focused more on good vibes, fun, and encouraging one another rather than drama. One show involved people competing to see who could make the best full course meal with the catch being they could only cook everything in a microwave. Many microwaves perished. - Changed their name to Sage Haven during their transition. They chose it because it reflects his passion and also is a play on the phrase “safe haven”, which is what she wants to be to others. - He has an adoptive daughter named Kit. She helped them think up bits and jokes. She also had to help explain what Half-Life was.

haven’t gotten to gman and forzen’s actors yet unfortunately. thinking gman’s actor could be a talk show host? because that would be funny. anyway thanks for humoring me on my shenanigans. bye

[simpforboys]

sweethearts nite

drew starkey x fem!youtuber!reader

summary: drew takes his girlfriend to Disneyland’s ‘Sweethearts Nite’

warnings: swearing, a bunchhhhh of fluff!!

first fic of 2024!! many more to come this wonderful year <3

happy valentine’s day to all of my valentines!!

“hello beautiful friends! welcome back, or welcome, to my channel. my name is y/n and today i’m bringing you along to mine and my boyfriend’s date night!”

as you finished your introduction, you cut the camera off as you relished in the feeling of Drew’s hand placed on your upper thigh. his left hand gripped firmly on the wheel, you were playing music off of your phone.

Drew had gotten used to your filming, knowing that you upload videos every other day. considering he also made a living from filming, he understood the schedule perfectly.

it was one of the reasons your relationship was perfect. the understanding of each other’s schedules and patience when something doesn’t go as planned.

you recently just hit around four million subscribers, and due to so many people witnessing your life weekly, you and drew both valued your privacy deeply.

but since you’ve been doing youtube for three years, you’ve gotten comfortable about the thin line between privacy and reality.

“for some of you new friends, this is my boyfriend, drew.” you stated, turning the camera back on as you panned it over to drew driving.

“hey guys.” he smiled, briefly turning to wave before continuing to focus his attention on the road.

within twenty more minutes drew pulled into the mickey and friends parking lot. you were buzzing with excitement as you stepped out of the car, making sure to grab your purse and accessories.

as you went around the car you saw drew pulling up his black dickies, the waistband of his tommy hilfiger briefs exposed.

you playfully hooked your finger in his waistband, letting the material slap gently against his v line as he smirked down at you.

“really, baby?”

“are these the ones i got you?”

“i think so.”

you slipped your bag on over your shoulder as drew took your hand in his, beginning to walk towards the escalators.

you grabbed the camera, recording your shoes standing next to each other. you panned it up to drew, surprised to see him making a goofy face (which made you snort into the camera).

➽───────────────────❥

“we’re here!” you announced to your camera as the two of you approached the front gate. the february sun was minutes from setting as stars peeked out from the clouds.

you filmed drew scanning your tickets, thanking the lady before walking past the turnstile. a wide smile was on your face as the train station in front of you was covered in pink lights.

“i think we need to grab these lanyards and wristbands.” drew said, placing his large hand firmly on your waist as he guided you over to where workers were passing things out.

luckily, it was a tuesday night so it wasn’t as crowded as it could have been. the time on your watch read 6:18 in the evening.

you thanked the workers as you slipped on your lanyard, turning the camera towards you. drew was used to you vlogging in crowded places, and with the use of his height, he continued to guide you through the tunnel.

your back as firmly placed against his chest, his hands on your waist as you happily talked to the camera. it was a routine every time you vlogged, one that gave you butterflies every time he did it.

because as you’ve never asked him to help keep you protected, he just took it upon himself to hold and guide you so you can do your thing. it was one of the things you loved most about him.

as the crowd started to fizzle out as people ventured further into the park, drew moved to the left side of you as you filmed the courtyard in the middle of the entrance.

“the hearts are so pretty.” you awed, the pink, red, and purple lights brightening the buildings of mainstreet right behind.

you hadn’t realized drew stopped walking with you until you were a few feet ahead and set down the camera. when you turned around, a shy smile twisted its way onto your lips when you saw your boyfriend taking photos of you.

“why are you taking pics of me?” you asked shyly, leaning up to press a kiss to his jaw. he wrapped his arms around you, beginning to walk with your body trapped to his.

“because you’re my girl and i love having photos of my girl.”

you grinned at his words, your pupils dilated as you stared up lovingly at him. anyone who was watching the two of you would’ve noticed the look in your eyes.

drew pulled his phone out again, turning the two of you around so your back was to his chest. he held the camera up as he snapped selfies of the two of you, wanting to save the memory.

“do you want me to take photos of you?” a woman asked, noticing drew’s selfies.

“yes please,” you grinned. you handed the woman your own phone, tucking your camera away as you cuddled next to your man.

happy smiles were plastered on both your faces as you posted, a genuine grin on your face when Drew placed a loving kiss on your temple.

“thank you.” Drew smiled to the lady, taking your phone back and as you and him scrolled through the photos.

“you’re so cute.” you grinned up at him, kissing the bottom of his cheek as he smirked slightly.

➽───────────────────❥

as the night went on, you and Drew went on rides, ate some speciality food, and shopped.

“i’m sooooo full…. holy shit is that the valentine’s day bakery?” you gasped, breaking into a soft jog with Drew playfully rolling his eyes behind you.

his bank account was definitely taking a hit for the night, but he knew he would make the money back, but he couldn’t make memories like this with you after tonight.

so, he sucked down the guilt as he paid for a festive churro for you. you kissed him softly as a thank you, walking over to a table to set up your small tripod.

when the camera was rolling, you gave Drew one half of the churro. “okay, taste test time.”

Drew was staring down at you with an adoring look on his face, ready to take a bite. you both put the cinnamon-y sweet in your mouth, your eyes rolling back slightly from how delicious it was.

“this is the best churro i’ve ever had.” you tell the camera, showing off the decorated churro.

(unbeknownst to you at the time, you hadn’t realized how much love Drew was staring at you with until you saw the comments moments after the video published)

“what do you think, baby?” you ask Drew, turning to him as he nods his head.

“it’s good. little too sweet for me, but it’s good.” he tells you, copying your actions and showing off his half of the churro.

“holy fucking shit- are you Drew Starkey and Y/n L/n?” a teenage girl ran over, her phone out and ready for pictures.

you and Drew smiled at her, the camera still rolling. “hi, yeah we are. it’s so nice to meet you.”

you hugged the girl, feeling her squeeze you tightly as she then turned to Drew and hugged him.

“can i get a photo? you two are like my bi panic couple.” the girl overshares, clearly very excited.

you laugh softly at her words as Drew looks confused, but doesn’t let it effect him too much as he bends down for the photo.

the camera snaps and the girl thanks you both one more time before leaving.

“what the hell is bi panic?” Drew asks, making you giggle at his question.

➽───────────────────❥

as you two walked over to Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion, a couple of people stopped and asked you and drew, you or drew, to take photos with them.

it made both of you happy to see your supporters and especially how nice everyone was.

a yawn escaped your mouth as you stood inside the line for Pirates, the smell of the water filling your nostrils.

“we need to get a candle of this scent.” you tell your boyfriend, leaning against the railing to rest your feet.

Drew can’t help but smile and shake his head at your comment. “you want a candle of everything.”

“hey, i love candles! what’s wrong with that?” you tease, feeling as he wraps his strong arm around your waist to pull you into his chest.

he placed a soft kiss on your temple, your cold skin against his warm one.

“you’re so pretty.” he murmurs softly in your hair, continuing to press kisses on your head.

“says you.” you murmur back, kissing his lips in return.

[schlattslambo]

for goodness sake | schlatt 18+

a/n: inspired and dedicated to @blaineandergel . thank you my friend

is this edited? no. was this written while im at work? yes. please enjoy. i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible. if theres anything i can do to improve on that front, please let me know! ❤️

————-

you weren’t sure when the whimsy of christmas came back, but as you stepped back from putting the final ornament on the tree, it was swirling around in the air alongside cinnamon and apple.

the tree was fluffy and looked soft from a distance. with the twinkling lights and generic ornaments, it looked even better. soft christmas music played on a record player on the mantle, where your boyfriend was fastening stockings.

christmas wasn’t much of a celebration once you grew up and moved out. it was more of an excuse to eat ham and stromboli and sneak cookie dough as your mother baked cookies whenever you visited their house. this year was different.

this year, you were spending your first christmas together with your boyfriend, a youtuber named schlatt. you’d met him through a mutual friend and hit it off instantly. at first, your relationship was secret. fans had noticed a brightness in schlatt’s eyes that wasn’t there before and began questioning it.

eventually, fans assumed that he was seeing someone. with that assumption, a bit of hate was spewed whenever someone brought up the fact. you let the hate fall off your shoulders, mainly because nobody would see this side of schlatt. the side that was wearing matching christmas pajamas and humming along to frank sinatra.

a soft, loving smile tugs at the corner of your lips as jambo waltzes in, red and green collar jingling. schlatt stands back and admires his handiwork of the mantle as you snake your arms around his waist. he smiles down at you, heart warm.

“hey there baby.” he says, turning around and placing a kiss on your forehead.

“you did a really good job with the fireplace.” you say softly, nuzzling your face against his chest.

“thank you,” schlatt replies with a smile. “i’m gonna light a fire, what do you think?”

you smile. “baby, it’s not cold enough for that.”

“and?” schlatt asks. “it’s romantic.”

you roll your eyes but allow schlatt to putz outside and grab some wood from the pile on the porch. this man absolutely loves that fireplace and would have a fire lit all the time if he could.

you pour yourself a glass of wine and watch as schlatt lights the fire. it crackles to life and he smiles proudly. he’ll never say it, but this kind of thing is what keeps him going. the domestic side of your relationship. him working hard and you just sitting there looking cute. in this case, you curled up on the couch with your wine and him cracking open a beer.

as schlatt sits down next to you, you snuggle into him instantly. his arm goes around you just as it always does and the two of you admire the decorations. the twinkling of the lights on the tree, the four stockings hung on the mantle (two for the cats, of course), and the fire all bring a warm feeling in your chest.

you both sit quietly, watching as jambo lays down in front of the fire place, squirming onto his back so he warms his belly. the scene is out of a christmas card and you couldn’t be happier.

————-

a little while later, the wine has made your cheeks flush and schlatt has switched to sipping on some whiskey. you’ve gotten through half of the bottle of white wine and you’re feeling frisky. it doesn’t matter that frank is still playing on the record player; you want schlatt and you want him now.

your hand goes to schlatt’s thigh as he scrolls on his phone, probably responding to an email. he barely notices until you start moving your hand up closer to his crotch.

“what’re you doin’?” he asks, smiling at you.

“baby,” you draw out.

schlatt peeks over at you and notices your flushed cheeks. he smiles, taking a swig of his drink before placing the glass down.

“what’s up?” schlatt asks, turning to face you. “what do you need?”

you jut your bottom lip out and peek up at him. “you.” you whisper.

your hand goes to his crotch and you begin to feel him through his pants. his cock grows hard and he allows you to touch him for a bit before gripping your wrist. if he doesn’t stop you, he’ll end up cumming in his pants like a teenager. he’s not gonna let that happen again.

“behave.” he grits.

“why?” you pout. “i need you.”

schlatt looks at you, pupils blown and cheeks flushed. he looks into your eyes, knowing that if he doesn’t stand his ground, you’re going to be a brat again. ignoring the fact that you were told to behave, you sit in schlatt’s lap.

“baby,” he sighs, breath catching in his throat as you bite at his neck, his weak spot. “we just finished decorating.”

you don’t respond verbally, only grinding your hips down. you feel schlatt’s cock harden even further under you, and you’re sure it’s pressing against his zipper. he grips your hair, making you arch your back. he bites down on your now exposed neck, eliciting a mewl from you.

“didn’t i tell you to behave?” he growls. “do you really wanna be a brat after we just decorated?”

you smile and nod. schlatt can’t help but smile himself. that’s one of the things he loves most about you (trust me, the list is long, but this is towards the top). he loves that you push his buttons and bite back.

“oh, baby,” he muses, licking along your pulse point. “you better be good.”

“make me.”

the two words leave your lips easily before you yelp as your hauled across schlatt’s lap, ass in the air.

“for goodness sake, doll.” he says as he grips your ass harshly. “i’m gonna have to do something about that.”

you lurch forward as his hand comes down onto your ass harshly, a soft moan leaving your lips. you lay there with a smile before schlatt slowly pulls your pants down, exposing your plush ass.

“can’t have any barriers.” he mumbles before beginning his punishment.

each ass cheek is slapped at least 10 times. he wants you squirming and near tears. his cock is pressed up against your stomach as you take the spankings. he doesnt stop until your ass is red and stinging. you whine and look back at him.

“n-no more.” you sob.

“are you gonna be good?” schlatt asks, yanking your hair and pulling you further back. “you gonna be good?”

you nod the best you can. “yes daddy.” you whimper.

“good,” schlatt says, gripping your stinging ass firmly. “because next time i’m going to fuck you in front of the fire place but you won’t be cumming.”

you whine at the threat, knowing full well that you’re going to be pushing his buttons again later that night and getting fucked into the floor for his pleasure only. you giggle as ‘santa claus is coming to town’ plays on the record player. the lyrics make you smile as you snuggle in schlatt’s lap.

you’re gonna be bad, for goodness sake.

[cowgirlcherrie]

☆ WISHFUL THINKING. loser! sbf! ellie williams headcanons

♪ 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠…wishful thinking by benee

a/n: here are just some quick head-canons of loser ellie, ellie is best friends with the readers sister, basically like bbf! ellie but girls girl coded dynamic.

warnings/content: 18+ MDNI. a nsfw section. breeding kink. switch!ellie. kissing. petname usage. ellie is so loser…LOL but it intertwines with canon ellie. cursing. dirty talking. finger sucking. edging. mostly toothrotting fluff for the first section

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

౨ৎ loser! Ellie owns an obscure amount of graphic tees with silly slogans on them:

“I ♡ HOT MOMS” or “I ♡ MILFS” or “BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN”

** I can’t find the post but one of my mutuals had an exact post of how she would dress…adam sandler core fr

When she gets complimented on them, she does not know how to take a compliment. When you found one of the slogans funny, your hands delicately intertwined with the fabric of her shirt as you tugged the fabric — with your phone hovering over the bolded text to take a picture – Ellie was sweating bullets beneath your touch.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie dismissed you the first time that the two of you met; she moved like a shadow whenever you were around; if you were talking in the kitchen, she would completely walk out of the room and just avoid the area. At first, you thought Ellie stopped coming around and being friends with your sister until you actively caught her turning on her heels and just heads in another direction.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie goes to your college and is a year above you but you didn’t know she was going to JSU (Jackson state university) because you thought she was planning on community, so it was a shocker to see her around campus because she actually would say hi to you or sit and chat if she wasn’t with Dina or Jesse.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie is obsessed with Jurassic Park and owns all of the DVD collections. She even has posters up on the wall that is stills from the movie and ones she was able to find with a deep dive online *cough* Reddit *cough* Facebook marketplace *cough* 

Frequently she tried to get your sister into it who gets sick of her asking–  but kept on nagging at Ellie to ask you instead, and with many dab pen hits and a quick pep talk in the bathroom, Ellie built up enough courage to ask you to watch it with her. 

The two of you bonded over having crushes on Ellie Sattler which was the first time that Ellie realized that you liked girls and she might have a shot with you.

“It’s even better to watch when you’re high because the dinosaurs are all like-…woahh”

౨ৎ loser! Ellie enjoys it’s always sunny in Philadelphia and parks and recreation, and would definitely enjoy emergency intercom or just podcast-y youtube channels 

౨ৎ loser! Ellie sucks at eye contact, whenever you start talking to her she rubs at the back of her neck, and looks at her feet, twirling the necklace that’s tucked closely to her skin and her shirt. She just doesn’t stop fidgeting. Her face gets all red but she plays it off that Joel kept on turning the heater on when there was no need for it.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie wears flat-brim vintage hats, especially some with corduroy fabric, and apart from her standard arm tattoo gets silly patchwork ones, like one of a drawing she did for Joel. Has a lot of rings and especially enjoys the spinny ones.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie who collects Savage Starlight comics, as always, is surprised when you tell her you found some copies in the bookstore that was actually going to get thrown away but you bargained with the owner to buy the barrel of the books because you knew she would like to have them. She gets all flustered when she realizes that you were thinking of her and it brings the craziest smile to her fast that you took enough time to remember such minuscule detail about her. 

“Do you– uh- do you want me to pay you back?”

౨ৎ loser! Ellie wakes up late all the time when she sleeps over at your house like I’m talking 11-12:30 pm and will walk around the house with messy hair, a large t-shirt and boxers, and dry drool patch on her mouth and down her cheek until she realizes she had been watched for the past few minutes by you who was scared shitless because you didn’t even she spent the night.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie in traditional Ellie fashion uses cursing as a coping mechanism when she gets nervous and doesn’t know what to say:

“I don’t fuckin’ know ask your sister”

“That’s fuckin cute… I guess”

“Oh – Fuck you!”

౨ৎ when your sister started this thing every two weeks where there is a girl’s night, she’d invite Ellie over for a sleepover and the sleepless night would be full of gossip, painting each other’s nails, drinking cheap wine that Ellie got from the gas station down the way —  primarily a self-care night, it takes a lot of convincing to get Ellie to join in but once she does, she regrets it slightly. However, she tolerates it because she can use it as an excuse just to see you and learn about what is up with your life or if you started seeing anyone.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie who bitches and cries when she has a facemask on, and is hissing and spewing curses under her breath every few minutes, with a fluffy headband on that is pushing her auburn hair back, begging you to take it off; meanwhile, you are applying a clear coat on her nails because she would complain about any other color but she keeps tensing up.

“Ow! What the fuck is in this…it hurts, take it off! Take it off!”

౨ৎ loser! Ellie when the summertime rolled around, meant she would be spending way more time with you and your sister – eventually, your sister goes to the locksmith and get Ellie her own key. Ellie will be indulging in pool days with you which is a recipe for disaster

She is tripping all over the place, and terribly applied sunscreen on her face which cast a slight ghostly white cast on her face, adding to how stunned she was to see you in a swimsuit, but she couldn’t look away and caught herself wandering her eyes to places she probably shouldn’t have. 

Underwater kiss! Underwater kiss! 

But she tries to play it off and acts like it never even happened the next day. But when Ellie closed her eyes all she could feel was your wet lips on hers, as the two of you were grabbing at each other and the way for a second time slowed down and all she could feel was the movement of the water and your hands on her skin.

When she applied sunscreen wrong and asks you to fix it for her, gets so embarrassed as you rub your hands over her face to moisturize the sunscreen into her face, but every time she opens her eyes she just sees the view of your boobs in the bikini you are wearing and just squeezes her eyes shut. Visibly pretends to bite her fist when you’re done

౨ৎ loser! Ellie 100% asking strangers on Reddit how to confess for you with crazy ass headlines, 

F(22) IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S SISTER F(21) ADVICE? If a girl’s arm lingers on you for too long does it mean she likes you? (F) Good pick-up lines that aren’t cringy for gays only…please How much does astrology and birth chart compatibility really matter? 

౨ৎ loser! Ellie splits her sandwiches with you and gives you a jacket when you are cold because even though she asks you a million times and you said no each time she asked. She still brings a jacket just for you — and how she would scold you for not bringing one. (all out of love though)

“You fucker! I knew you would be cold, see this is why I said to bring a jacket” 

Pretends to be angry but really she was waiting for this moment.

Eventually, you build a collection, having 3 of Ellie’s jackets in your room, which was Ellie’s subtle excuse to be able to talk to you. 

౨ৎ loser! Ellie doesn’t hesitate to pick you up from an on-campus party, and her heart shatters when you are crying because you had a shitty night and you don’t want her to tell your sister. Takes you to whatever fast food is open at that hour even if that means she’d have to drive 30 minutes extra just to make you smile.  

“Shh…sweetheart terrible nights happen it’s okay”

“Are you hungry?…cuz’ like I’m fuckin hungry” Ellie whispers amidst a thick awkward silence, mentally cringing and wanting to bang her head on the steering wheel as she grips the wheel until her knuckles turn white.

Suddenly becomes good with comforting people when it comes to you, but anyone else – the spinny wheel of death appears above her head as she struggles to formulate a good sentence. 

౨ৎ loser! Ellie who hates when you bring up anyone you start talking to or that you are going out with, will sit there with her fist tight and jaw clenched whispering to you:

“There are people who can treat you way better”

And by people she really means herself. 

౨ৎ loser! Ellie who set off the fire alarm once by accident because she was hotboxing in her room with Jesse and Dina and almost got a dean’s office summons and tried to blame it on the neighbors next door. 

౨ৎ loser! Ellie when Ellie tells your sister that she likes you, your sister makes the most disgusted face at her, but becomes Ellie’s wing-woman and kinda tells Ellie all of your likes and dislikes, which Ellie has a whole page in her journal with facts about you. 

“can I have your blessing to uh…date your um, fuck sorry your sister?”

“ellie please shut up I’m gonna throw up”

౨ৎ loser! Ellie has pictures of michael cera as her icons on every form of social media.

౨ৎ loser! Ellie gets flustered easily over indirect kisses, like sharing food or sharing drinks, and suddenly she becomes so hyperaware. 

nsfw 𖦹⋆彡🫧꩜♪⋆

౨ৎ When Ellie started having more than just friendly feelings for you…her whole demeanor changed, the tension was so thick it could cut with a sharp knife. Subtle touches suddenly had more meaning and her body felt like someone lit a match with gasoline dripping from her body and set her aflame. 

౨ৎ after an accidental confession that leads to the two of you dating, lewd thoughts from the shadow of her brain came after and she couldn’t control it — initially was too embarrassed to tell you and had nights where she would just walk to the bathroom and try her best to get off in the shower but it only got her so far before it wasn’t helping or doing enough and at this point she needed to actually touch you

౨ৎ That time she slept over and was sleeping on your couch, hoodie on her body with the hood up covering her face, blankets falling off of her body giving a full view of her sleep boxer shorts. When you walked by to go grab a drink of water around 3 am you could hear her moaning your name in your sleep.

౨ৎ is one of those people who seem bashful, sparky, and innocent throughout the day but in the sheets is the biggest freak ever, she becomes another level of unholy.

౨ৎ a breeding kink! Definitely owns one of the squirting dildos because she loves to watch the way liquids drip out of you when she’s done, will sit back pulling at your folds with her fingers with the shit-eating grin on her face that reads I did that 

“Look at you~” “all fucked out for me” Ellie speaks coly and in between breaths as her head reaches down to put kisses all over your face.

౨ৎ Ellie likes to see how much she can get away with, smacks your ass, pulls you back by your belt loop, sticks her hand way too far up your thigh, moans high pitched in your ear during public settings 

౨ৎ falls asleep with her hand on your boobs, god forbid she’s having a nightmare, she starts squeezing them in the midst of it. 

౨ৎ makes dick jokes talking about some:

“My pullout game is not weak thank you very much, if that was the case we would have had a lot of children already”

When listening to rap music that goes into heavy description about fucking humps the air sometimes to the lyrics...not elaborating she's hella immature LOL 

౨ৎ The minute the two of you go out and one of your friends says how she is a simp and how you have all the control in the situation, Ellie will make sure you know that she indefinitely has the upper hand. It’s like a switch flips in her head she gets so ruthless and so mean, she doesn’t want you to forget it either and fucks you until you can’t think

You will be moaning and clawing at her back as she pounds in a rhythmic motion in and out of you, her mouth would get so filthy, smirking as her fingers rub over your lips as she slips her thumb in for you to suck,

“but …do your friends know that you cry like this under me? that you look so pathetic under me?”

“Who’s in charge again cuz’ I fuckin’ know it’s not you”

“Are you cumming? Oh no you don’t…let me see you” “What if I just stopped right now?”

Likes to edge you, no doubt.

౨ৎ a switch likes to be topped or touched but also likes to be the top

౨ৎ whimpers whenever you touch her like a puppy, her eyes get glassy and her face gets red as she lets out low mewls of your name, and suddenly it’s like you’re an angel hovering over her and your touch is an addictive drug that she never wants to stop having.

౨ৎ  Overall just the best girlfriend ever, with a combination of silliness and fun in one, a big ol’ dork that is really just obsessed with you.

© cowgirlcherrie

taglist

@beforeimdeceased @starologist @destielcore @luvrgalore @ellsss @zahraaziza @emluvselandabs @abbyily @elliestrwbrry @mossc0vered @spacewlf @as2rid @spaceshipellie @lottiematthewsceo @emonopolyman @mikasbby @trulygnomed @machetegirl109 @munsonsfairy

[yerimbrit]

lovergirl : m. danielle

synopsis: even after she left you, you still came crawling back.

# : pairing ! danielle marsh x gn!reader

# : tags ! angst with a happy?? ending, this is set in like 2026, i'm... sorry(?), part 2 here

# : wordcount ! 3.6k

# : warnings ! none i think just swearing

do you know why you're at the airport?

you're 21. she's probably 21 around this time too, since her birthday was last month. you wonder where she is now, if she's doing well. but knowing her, she's probably thriving, unlike you, stuck behind deadlines and finals.

you see her everywhere. not just on billboards, advertisements, and songs, but also in the little things around your neighborhood. the small candy shop around the corner, where your parents took you and her when you behaved. the local family-owned diner, where you and her stopped by on the weekends. the playground that connected to the park in the heart of the city, where you and her played on the swings after curfew.

instead of elation that hit you when you saw these things, though, it was bittersweet nostalgia. 

...she didn't even say bye before she left.

it's not like you could blame her, though. she knew that you would convince her to stay, to not leave you alone because she was your everything. that you would take her hands in yours and look at her like she puts the stars in the sky, whispering sweet nothings into her ears like the world was going to end after midnight.

she wasn't there for graduation. or at least, you didn't see her there—she was promoting her first comeback album, or so you've heard. you'd muted nearly everything that had to do with her. it was cruel, you know that, because she hasn't even done anything wrong. but it was for the sake of your heart. you never did get to confess to her properly.

sheltering your heart was the least you could do, in the process of recovering from your heartbreak. but if you knew if you saw her again, that shell would be broken instantly.

so no, you don't know why you're at the airport, on the way to seoul to go to some fansign that you heard about just two weeks ago. 

the air of the crowded gate is suffocating, a reminder of how you felt whenever a video of her showed up on your for you page before you blocked the fan account and muted all the tags.

you breathe in, hearing a familiar-sounding laugh behind you, and you whip around only to see two random strangers talking to each other. 

'not good,' you grit your teeth. if you saw her right now you would've broke down. 

cacophonies of conversation between the crowd rang in your ears, and you groan, covering them. you couldn't wait to get on the plane so you could put on the noise-canceling headphones that you'd bought specifically for this 14 hour flight.

thankfully, your wishes were granted, and you were allowed entry onto the plane. it was a cheap economy seat—you were still a student, after all. your parents offered to pay when you told them you were going to korea, but by then you'd already bought the ticket. 

two hours in and it hits you that you're an idiot. a big idiot. you know nothing about the group she's in. buying multiple albums to go to a fansign for a group known worldwide, without even knowing the names of the members? 

you pull up their page on kprofiles and start reading, assimilating yourself with the world of... kpop. yeah. you've never bothered with kpop, even though she was an idol. it's not like you hated it, you just didn't bother getting into it. plenty of your friends were avid listeners, pouring details after details about their favorite groups to you, and that was fine. you didn't mind.

'kim minji,' you read to yourself. 22, the oldest... representative animal is a bear... yeah, you can see it. the next was hanni, the vietnamese-australian member of the group. two aussies? what a coincidence.

you read on, studying each member thoroughly before moving to the next. you make a note to watch videos on youtube about them when you get to the hotel. you read about haerin and hyein, the youngest members, then scroll back up to the member you skipped.

'danielle marsh.' 

you knew what she looked like already because of how popular the group was, but…

'she still looks the same after all these years.'

the same smile, the same eyes. you wonder if anyone else has ever seen the way her eyes twinkle under the moonlight after dark.

'hobbies: drawing, listening to music, swimming... guess she's the same girl after all.'

your seatmate nudges your shoulder, and you almost jump. "hey, are you interested in newjeans?"

he looks at you excitedly. he seemed about the same age, maybe a bit younger than you. figured there'd be at least one of their fans here. why'd you have to get seated next to one of them?

"um," you hum, "something like that."

you don't bother to tell him about your past with one of the members, or the fact that you bought albums for a chance to see them without any knowledge of who they were, because it was none of his business. god knows what would happen if you told him the truth.

he starts blabbering about how he was a fan since debut, and you tune him out, closing your eyes and putting on your headphones. it's not like he noticed, anyway. maybe you can catch up on some sleep you missed while studying.

you dream of her during your impromptu nap, waking up with tears in your eyes. the guy next to you stopped talking too, fortunately. at that rate, you thought he would've continued after the flight. 

you check the time on your phone. surprisingly, a few hours have passed, and the flight is almost over. you must've passed out completely once you shut your eyes. the flight attendant comes by to remind you to unplug your phone from the power outlet, and you patiently wait for your plane to land.

one look outside and you could see fluffy white clouds perfectly set in the air, like a painting or piece of art you could find on social media. you swear you see a rabbit shaped cloud. or maybe you've been staring too hard.

("look, y/n! doesn't that one look like a bunny?

"nah, it's definitely a cat. where are you getting bunny?"

"where are you getting cat? it's most definitely a bunny!"

"okay, okay, fine. you're right, it does look like a bunny, dani."

"see? told ya!")

'fuck,' you shake your head. you try to think about something else. the seat in front of you. the loud sound of the airplane taxiing on the runway. the aircraft marshaller directing said plane.

breathe in. one, two, three, four, five. breathe out. one, two, three, four, five.

you and your seatmate get up to exit the plane, and he flashes a polite smile at you. you offer a tight-lipped one back. the aisleway is cramped, as it always is when you fly economy, and you bump into some people. there's a gross spark of electricity every time you brush shoulders with someone, and you shiver, suddenly reminded of the need to shower when you check in to your room.

the first thing you notice when you step into the airport from the ramp is that there are many products with an idol's face plastered on the front. twice on a candy bag, bts on a bag of chips, le sserafim on a sports drink... the list goes on. it's like they worshipped these people.

...whatever makes them happy.

a crowd comes stampeding towards your direction, causing your survival instincts to kick in. you take refuge in a nearby gift shop to avoid them. the airport was already loud, but the noise increased once the crowd came bursting through.

"minji-ssi, look here!"

"hanni! i love you!"

"please do a heart pose with haerin, danielle!"

"hyein-ssi, over here please!"

your hand twitches. it's not like they were going to see you, but you inconspicuously make your swift escape anyway. there's a bittersweet twist in your stomach at the mention of her name.

instinctively, you whip your head around just in time to make eye contact with her. her mouth is agape and her eyes are widened, and she looks as if she were going to say something, but you turn back around and start power walking to the nearest exit.

does she still remember you? maybe she does, considering the expression she made when you two met eyes. and you can't help but to think, 'does she miss me?'

does she think of you the way you think about her, 24/7, 365 days a year? does she remember the memories you made together, all those years ago? and does she treat them like precious jewels in a well-kept box, or like a constant reminder of what could've been, like you do?

but you also can't help but to think about how beautiful she looked. she's matured, something that you could only sense outside of the pictures provided by the internet. and she holds herself in a poised manner with an air of elegance, but also with a sense of cheeriness and innocence well-placed.

it has been 6 years since you have seen danielle in person.

6 years since you have lost the light of your life.

and you would do anything to change that fact, but, alas, it would never come.

you think you've memorized all the members by now, binging videos of them for three days straight. of course, you went out and explored, since you were in a foreign country, but even when you were out you were still trying to learn everything you could about the group that she's in.

the night before the meeting, you don't sleep well. you wake up on your back, sweating, because you've just had a nightmare. a nightmare where you reunite with her, but she said that she never liked you, and walked away. with every step you took, the distance between you two only increased.

wiping your sweat, you take a few gulps of water from the bottle on the nightstand, taking deep breaths to try and calm your heart. it's around 7 am, looking at the digital clock on the table. the meeting starts at 12, and you have to get there by 11 before it gets too busy for you to even get in.

you walk over to the bathroom with a sense of dread, intending to take a refreshing shower to clear your head.

(it did not help. your mind remains clouded with thoughts of her. impending doom awaits you in four and a half hours.)

not knowing what else to do since you woke up too early, you get dressed and go for a walk. there's a nice, humble café two blocks down the street from your hotel, and you get a warm welcome when you walk through the doors of the establishment. the bells chime in a familiar tune, lifting your spirits ever so slightly.

of all the places you've been to since landing in korea, more than half of them have played at least one newjeans song as background music. and, lucky for you, this one is not. although it is a bit jarring to hear smooth jazz rather than the energetic voices of the girls you've been seeing everywhere.

the café is mostly quiet, aside from the clacking of the dishes and the soft chatter of the few customers also spending their morning here. you mark it as somewhere to visit again, if you ever come back to korea.

with every sip of coffee, there's an added chill to combat the blazing heat that the sun is emitting outside. the sun reminded you of her, who shines just like the sun that breathes us life. the moodmaker between the two of you, who cheered you on even on days where it felt hopeless.

but the iced beverage also filled you with energy, giving you confidence to make it through the big obstacle of the day. (and also the entire reason you even came all this way) you could face her. it's been 6 years. and, well, if it doesn't go well, then at least you'll have an excuse to never come back.

with newfound courage, you exit the café with long strides and return to your hotel room, preparing for the journey ahead. a charger, cash, and a water bottle are all secured in your small crossbody bag.

it's 10:15.

your uber comes in around 10 minutes, and you decide to wait outside in the front to save time.

the drive from the hotel to the venue is about 30 minutes. during that time, you listen to the playlist full of newjeans songs that you made on the day you landed, and take a brief power nap. 'hurt' is the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep.

you don't feel like you belong here. there's dozens, maybe around a hundred fans talking amongst themselves. from your limited korean, you could tell they were talking about their excitement for the fansign that's about to start in 15 minutes. you really wish you could share the feeling, even though you tried to get into them for three days straight.

a fan approaches you, tapping your shoulder, and you jolt. what is with people and sneaking up on you?

"hey!" oh, they're speaking in english. that makes this easier for you.

"hey," you echo, waving to them. upon closer look, you could see that their tote bag is decked out in merch, from keychains to stickers and a... hanni photocard? you think it's hanni. it's hard to tell when they change their hair colors every comeback.

they notice you staring, and smile at you. then they reach into their bag and pull out a clear goodie-bag containing some stickers and a lomo card.

"would you like one? i ran out of the others, sadly, but i do have hanni and danielle," they say, pulling out another bag which you presume has the other member mentioned.

the iridescent glow of the transparent bag shimmers in your eyes, and you blink. "oh," you start, "i think i'll have hanni."

the goods are handed to you, and you exchange friendly goodbyes. you wistfully look at the card inside the bag, mixed feelings swirling in your gut. it's for the better.

you have a couple more interactions with other fans, some giving you freebies like the first one, and some enthusiastically chatting to you about the group. your initial feelings of discomfort, are, admittedly, still there, but there's an added layer of pleasantness on top now.

weaving through the crowd to get to your assigned seat, you clutch the strap of your new tote bag containing all the things fellow(?) fans have given you.

the tote was another one of the things given, and you think the design is pretty neat, with a nicely placed logo and slogan in a chic style. you might actually use it after today, too.

the announcer calls for the fansign to commence, and five girls file in from a side entrance, their managers and bodyguards following alongside. immediately, the venue erupts in cheers from the audience, shouting affectionate phrases to the members, similar to what happened at the airport.

influenced by the majority, you cheer as well, although it was cut short when you realized that internally you were so out of place.

the group begins with some simple conversation starters, such as 'how are you' and 'have you eaten?' with as much energy as when they came in. you don't exactly know what's happening, so you sit and wait patiently for the event to start. everything seems so daunting.

finally, after around 5 minutes of greetings, the actual signing is starting. you're seated in the middle, which works out in your favor; not one of the first ones to come up and have to face her, but also not one of the last ones and lose your courage. you watched the interactions, the delusion-inducing actions that each of the girls provided, and the poses that they did together. the people around you were either taking videos, pictures, or excitedly talking to their friends beside them.

as the amount of rows in front of you remaining to go up and talk to the girls dwindles down, your heart sped up, thudding against your chest. an even bigger sense of dread instills in you, legs unmoving when the row directly in front of you comes back to sit down. you get nudged by the person next to you to move, and you shakily bring yourself to apologize and get a move on.

what would her reaction be? would she be shocked? happy? maybe mad, because if she actually wanted for you to be involved in her life all this time she would've said goodbye to you, or kept in touch. maybe you should just leave. you got yourself in this whole predicament, anyway. no one even told you to do it.

your palms are sweaty as you make your way down the velvet stairs, and you wipe your hands on your pants in nervousness and fear. eventually, the line slows down once your row reaches the table that the girls are sitting at, and you take it as a chance to try to relax.

breathe in.

five things you can see. seats, the person in front of you, the ground you are standing on, the album that you're holding to get signed (in your extensive research, people usually brought theirs to be signed on), and the table that seems so close yet so far from you. okay.

breathe out.

four things you can touch. the album, your shirt and jacket, and the bracelet on your wrist.

in...

three things you can hear. the increasingly obnoxious whirring sound of the air conditioning, the buzz of the audience, and...

fuck.

"hey, how are you?" a somewhat familiar voice asks. you say somewhat because you've only heard her voice in videos. you find yourself now kneeling in front of minji, the oldest member of the group. she's a lot prettier up close, all of them are, but it's a bit jarring to suddenly see her with your own eyes.

you clear your throat, blinking rapidly to try to focus yourself on the girl. "i'm, i'm gooth-"

...you bit your tongue. you try to laugh it off, awkward giggles slipping from your lips, and thankfully she joins you in laughing.

"that's good," she smiles, and it puts you at ease. no wonder people idolize these girls. she signs the front of the album, asks about your life, and you tell her about your school and how you're a newer fan. she waves at you with another gummy smile once your two minutes are up.

the next is haerin, who is the more reserved and quiet member of the group. there's a pair of cat ears sitting on her head, probably a gift from one of the previous fans, and she blinks at you owlishly, almost like she knew you, before a small smile settles on her face.

it is slightly unsettling, but the more you converse with her the more that feeling dissolves. she really is reserved, and the two of you exchange witty remarks with knowing grins. she signs your album just before the two minute mark.

hyein is super friendly, very high energy. you feel like she'd be a great person to be around on any given day. your conversation with her is mostly centered around food, and how she wants to visit australia again once you mentioned where you're from. she signs the album in the middle of your discussion about the best korean foods to try during your stay.

your time with hyein ends with a staring contest. (she won) and you give her a handshake after, joking about how you would win the next time. you think the sparkles in her eyes are very endearing.

hanni signs your album as soon as you set it down on the table. she's a very likable person in general; you think you could've been friends with her if she went to the same school as you. you also share the same music taste, spending your time together talking about the latest sza album and comparing hand sizes (yours were bigger, unsurprisingly)

but nothing could prepare you for the girl at the end of the table. her laugh rings in your ear from diagonally across from you, and you get a splitting headache. you mask it well enough for hanni not to notice, though, and you're able to finish the interaction smoothly.

how could anyone ever hate danielle? definitely not you. as much as you had reasons to hate her, you just couldn't bring yourself to do so much as dislike or be angry towards her. instead, you just drowned yourself in your sorrow and confusion.

she's perfect. the exact opposite of you, and yet she stayed with you until she didn't. those memories that you have together, they're so engraved in your mind, and you don't even know if she feels the same.

you slide over to the next slot, keeping your head down as you placed your album back onto the table.

heartbeat thudding in your chest. cold sweat running down your cheek. teeth biting your lip. is this the end for you? because it sure does feel like it.

when you finally do look up, and make eye contact with danielle, it feels like time has slowed even though it's really only been five seconds. her expression is mirroring yours: widened eyes, lips slightly parted. you gulp.

tears well in the corner of her eyes, and fuck everything, because you made her cry.

she blinks them away, and clears her throat, taking a second to regain her composure, and timidly calls out to you.

"y/n?"

a/n : 🤗 not the best at writing angst i hope this is ok !

[hyperdramas]

only time | lee seokmin

pairing: lee seokmin x reader

warnings: non-idol au, boyfriend!seokmin, fluff & comfort, kissing, cuddling, crying, mentions of petnames ('sweetheart', 'precious', 'dear'), dokyeom's just a sweet cuddlebug, reader is in their sad hours

now playing: only time (enya)

word count: 1236

Another sad video had just finished playing on your phone, and you were crying silently, chest heaving with silent huffs as you sniffled. For some odd, still unconfirmed reason, you liked watching sad and depressing Youtube videos late at night, and trying to cry to them if they were sad enough.

Seokmin, your sweet boyfriend of 2 years, also knew you had a habit of crying to random videos you found on the internet. He thought it was sweet how you could feel other people's feelings on an emotional level like that, but also thought it was kind of silly to try to get yourself to cry.

Little did he know, tonight you had chosen to watch videos of abandoned dogs finding a home for the first time. The happiness of the dogs exploring their new house for the first time was so cute to you, and you teared up as a chihuahua became friends with the owner's bunny rabbit, and even mourned it when it died.

Your heart was soft, and you were sobbing quietly to yourself, covering your mouth with your shaking hands before a presence behind you causes you to pause mid-sob.

"Dear, are you crying?" Seokmin's groggy voice came from behind you as he pressed his sharp nose and warm lips to your shoulder, and you nodded, a sudden sob running from your lips as you nodded frantically. Seokmin woke up from the furiousness of your nod, and he wrapped his arms around your waist as he tried to sit up.

"Awwww, precious, don't cry. What's wrong?" Seokmin's voice was still groggy, but it was warm and patient as he asked you your situation, and you cried to him, explaining the story as well as you could to him as he listened.

The dim lamp in the corner gave you little light, but you could see the sparkles in Seokmin's eyes as he stared at you and listened to your rant. His bare, tanned chest met your face as you pressed your ear to it, sobbing as the tears smeared across his chest.

Seokmin stiffled the giggle that threatened to pour out as your breath hit his bare body, and he sighed as he ran his hand up and down your back. You leaned into him quietly, falling silent as Seokmin laid his head on top of yours.

"Are you in your sad hours, sweetheart?" He asks innocently, and you nod, sputtering a bit more as tears fall again.

Seokmin sighs, still rubbing your back as he pulls back to look down at you. Your eyes are red and watery from the tears you've shed, and a small string of snot runs from your nose, to which Seokmin lets out a chuckle.

You looked adorable to him, even if your eyes were red and you had a snot string running down your reddened nose.

"Sweetheart, it's going to be okay. Everything's alright," He whispers quietly, a smile on his lips as he hushes you. The pang in your heart doesn't go away, but you start to stop crying, sighing as Seokmin continues his ministrations.

"I know you enjoy trying to make yourself cry⎯" Seokmin pauses, sighing as he realizes how absurd the idea sounds. "⎯But if it makes you too sad, please don't do this to yourself. You don't have to make yourself sad."

Seokmin knows you enjoy watching videos like that on YouTube, and he likes what you like, but if it brings you down and makes you feel bad, it brings him down and makes him feel bad too.

"You make me feel sad when you're sad, you know?" Seokmin questions, eyebrows raising as he looks down at you. You stare up at him, sparkles in your eyes as you answer with a tiny "Really?"

"Of course, precious. I can't stand to see you cry." Seokmin pouts, and you kiss the corner of his lips softly as he smlies under you, sinking deeper into his chest as you sigh, sniffling.

"I'm sorry, Seokmin." You apologize, and Seokmin shakes his head, bringing the blankets over the two of you as he gives you a kiss on your nose and forehead.

"Don't be sorry, sweetheart. It's something you enjoy, even if it's a little⎯" Seokmin trails off, trying to find a word that would't hurt your feelings.

"Weird?" You question, a wide smile on your face as Seokmin matches it seconds later, even letting out a little chuckle.

"Yeah, weird." He confirms, and the two of you laugh softly, basking in each other's presence as rain begins to fall outside, leaving you and your boyfriend to comfort each other for the rest of the night.

taglist: @k1eev @kstrucknet @gyuguys (comment to be added/taken off!)

[w2soneshots]

Roommates -W2S

words: 1.3k+

warnings: smut, light angst.

summary: you and Harry spend lockdown together in your own little flat that’s located next to the sidemen house. Eventually Harry catches feelings and the unexpected (yet very overdue) happens.

notes: heyy🫶🏼. My lockdown fic got so much love so I’m hoping you’ll all enjoy this one just as much! This request is so iconic. Don’t forget to reblog!!😚🤍

I've known the boys since I was young. I went to school with Tobi and Josh then when youtube came around we started playing games together. Soon they had created one of the biggest groups on youtube and I was their most requested guest. I have a great relationship with all of them and immediately hit it off with Freya and Talia.

Last month the uk went into a full lockdown. Josh, Freya, Simon, Talia, JJ and Vik were already living in the same house but Tobi, Ethan, Harry and myself packed our things and also moved in. Because we didn't want to be trapped in the middle of London alone. But since there aren't enough bedrooms for all of us, we flipped a coin to decide who would stay in the small granny flat at the end of the garden. Me and Harry ended up winning and I was actually really happy that I would only be sharing my space with one other person instead of nine.

At the beginning it was going great. Everyone was a little fed up with the fact we couldn't leave the house but we were lucky enough that we have a huge garden that makes you feel a little less claustrophobic. Me and Harry are getting along really well. We have separate bedrooms but share a bathroom, which can be slightly annoying at times.

One night I sat on the small couch in our living room/kitchen. Harry clicked open the door after coming back from filming with the boys. "Hey. How'd it go?" I asked, glancing up from my phone. "Uh- good." He replied plainly. My brows furrowed "are you okay?" I stood from the sofa. "Huh? Yea fine." He quickly entered his room then closed the door. I was a little confused but just assumed he was tired and didn't feel like talking.

The next night the same thing happened. He practically avoided me for an entire week. Until I'd had enough. I hesitated as I went to knock on his bedroom door. I took a deep breath then knocked my hand against the painted wood. "Harry?!" I heard a frustrated huff then the door cracked open. "Yes?" "Uhh, can we talk please?" I asked quietly. He looked down at the floor then left his room. We walked towards the kitchen and each sat down on one of the breakfast stools.

"Listen. I don't know if I did something to upset you but we're living together you can't just keep avoiding me. If you have something to say then just spit it out!" My voice raised as I spoke the last sentence. His jaw ticked. He looked me in the eyes, then his gaze flickered down to my lips. My breath hitched, my palms began to sweat and my heart beat so fast I thought it might pop out of my chest. The next few seconds were the slowest yet fastest of my life. He lent in and kissed me. Harry fucking Lewis kissed me. The boy I've known for so many years. The boy I've had a crush on since I was sixteen. But all this time I assumed he didn't feel the same so I suppressed the feelings as best I could.

I moved forward to place my hands on his cheeks, bringing him closer to me. As we broke away to breathe we rested our foreheads on each other's. We kept eye contact as he desperately placed his hands at my waist and lifted me onto the kitchen counter. He stood between my legs as he kissed me, hard. "Harry..." I moaned as he began kissing down my neck. He pulled my hoodie over my head revealing the small white cotton bralet I had on underneath. His eyes flickered from my chest back up to my eyes. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" He asked, with his hands by his sides. "Please Harry, please." I begged. He took that as a yes so quickly fumbled to remove his shirt.

He pulled me off the counter then carried me towards his bedroom, my legs wrapped around his torso. I kissed his shoulder gently as he walked. He groaned as we approached the bedroom. "I need you Harry." I whimpered as he lay me down on his soft sheets. The room was dark so I could only barely make out his figure stood before me. I could hear shuffling then my pants along with my underwear were being pulled down in one fail swoop. I gasped as he moved over me so his dick was just inches away from my soaking wet cunt. He gently wiped the hair from my face then attached his lips back to mine. "You ready?" He asked between wet kisses. "So ready."

After that night we continued to have sex regularly. We weren't sure what we were even labelled as yet so we decided to keep it a secret from everyone else. Thank god we were at the end of the garden or we would have a problem. I'm not exactly sure how the other couples in the house were managing to have a sex life. But me and Harry were so loud. We did it in every possible room, kitchen counter, sofa, shower, his bedroom, my bedroom. I think we were just so bored that the only thing to do was have sex.

Almost two months after that night he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was actually really romantic. He cooked me dinner in our kitchen, bearing in mind it wasn't the nicest pasta I've had but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that he was officially mine and I was his.

Once the lockdown was fully lifted life seemed to return to (somewhat) normal. Tobi, Ethan, Harry and I moved out and moved back into our own apartments. We hadn't actually talked about what we were going to do once the lockdown ended. I obviously knew I still wanted to be with him but the realisation suddenly hit me that I was actually dating one of my best friends. One night Harry asked if we could tell everyone and I wasn't sure what to say. We decided that we would wait a little longer until I felt one hundred percent ready.

A month went by and we still hadn't told anyone. I lay in bed next to Harry, the sun shone through the blinds and I was completely naked, from last night's events. I slowly opened my eyes to see Harry looking at me. "Hi." I whispered sleepily. "Do you like me?" He asked. I wasn't expecting that. I pushed myself up so I was leaning on my forearm. "What? Of course I like you." I lent in to kiss him but he gently pushed me back. "Well why don't you want anyone to know about us?" His face was serious. I sighed then placed my hand on his cheek. "I just- well- I've known you since we were teenagers and I- I don't want to mess this up. I don't wanna lose you." I finally admitted. His face softened then he lent in to kiss me. "I love you y/n." He whispered. My heart warmed. "I love you too." "I've wanted to say that for a while but I had to make sure you felt the same." He kissed me again.

The next day Harry brought me along to a sidemen shoot. "So, me and Harry have been- um- daiting for a while." I announced. They didn't seem to be very shocked. "Yea we figured that out when I went to ask if you wanted something from Nando's, since you weren't answering your phones, and I heard some... strange noises." Ethan explained with a chuckle. My face turned bright red. "Oh my god." I buried my face into Harry's shoulder.

[homesick4la]

the drive-in — hamzahthefantastic

summary: after being just friends for a while, one night at a drive-in theater changes everything.

contains: smoking, making out

a/n: i haven’t written anything in literally two years but the hamzah edits have brought me back to writing fan fiction…. also i did not proofread sorry…im lazy!

after bringing down all the seats in hamzah’s car and spreading several throw blankets around, the two of you laid comfortably in the back. you had convinced him to take you to the drive-in to see the newest addition to the “x” trilogy- “maxxxine”, promising that you’d help him edit his next youtube video.

as the movie begins, you two settle underneath a large blanket, laying just a foot apart. hamzah pulls out the small weed pen that always seemed to be in his pocket. without saying a word, he instinctually hands you the pen and turns to look at you. he’d always enjoyed watching as you’d bring the small device to your lips and gently blow out the smoke. in the past, he’d told you that he liked to watch you smoke because the way you coughed after each hit was funny.

the reality was that he just found you so fucking pretty. he couldn’t help but stare at the way your soft lips pursed together and your cheeks hollowed out when you sucked from the pen. and he absolutely loved the big smile you’d give him while trying to contain your cough.

“god this thing is so burnt”, you chuckle, handing it back to him.

“i know, i’m gonna get a new one tomorrow so we can finish this one tonight.” hamzah explained before taking a hit. you admired him as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back before releasing the smoke from his mouth. god he was so hot. you’d always found him attractive and smoking made those thoughts in your head grow louder.

after passing the pen back and forth for a while, you two could no longer focus on the thriller movie playing in front of you- the weed making you both so giggly and talkative.

“bro remember when you fell at the fair,” hamzah says, out of breath from laughing at the memory.

“stop, that was so bad! i literally still have a scar from that, look!” you lift your forearm to his eye level, revealing a small, red scar near your elbow.

his fingers trace the small scar. “you only had half a white claw and it had you falling over”, he laughs.

“shut up- i tripped on your big ass foot and you know it.”

“yeah, yeah, whatever- hey what’s even going on right now?” he gestures to the movie.

“i have no clue.” your reply, sending you both into a laughing fit. as your laughter begins to fade, you turn to look back at hamzah. the moment you two make eye contact, his smile fades. he stares and stares and stares. leaving you in a confusing, unnerving silence.

“uh- well even though we’re not even watching the movie, thank you for doing this with me.” you break the silence, giving him a small smile. “i’ve had a pretty shitty week, so i needed this.”

“yeah me too.” his voice is soft, quieter than before. “i always feel better when i’m around you.”

you smile. you weren’t used to hamzah saying sweet things like that- you two were always so unserious when talking.

“i- uh i’ve always liked being around you and talking with you,” he looked around nervously. “and i always thought we’d be just friends but y/n, i like you. i like you- not just in a friend way.” he admitted- the weed making him feel a little bolder than usual.

you giggle, “thank god because i’ve had the most embarrassing crush on you for so long.”

hamzah’s eyes light up, “and you never said anything?” he laughs.

“no, i was scared you didn’t like me like that!”

he smiles widely, “i like you like that.” he reassures.

you start retelling the story about when you guys first met, revealing that you had liked him ever since then. his eyes are locked on yours- occasionally glancing down at your lips. as you’re talking, his hand finds its way to yours- gently laying on top of it. it lingers there for a few seconds before tracing up your arm. his cold fingertips drag along your forearm, all the way up to your shoulder, and to the side of your neck. eventually, he places his hand on your cheek. he rubs his thumb back and forth as you continue talking, but you soon go quiet. his touch causing you to lose your train of thought.

you stare into his big brown eyes- smiling at what a sweet moment this was.

“y/n, can i kiss you?” hamzah said softly. a light nervous chuckle echoed at the end. you nodded quickly, looking up at him through glossy eyes.

he wasted no time connecting his lips with yours. his hands cradled your face as he kissed you softly.

the kiss was innocent. slow and sweet. but as you grew comfortable, it became apparent that there was a certain hunger within both of you.

his hands move from your face down to your waist. he pulls you in closer, pressing your bodies together.

you part your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth effortlessly. his hands grab ahold of your hips before shifting your bodies so he could hover on top of you.

the kisses get messier and messier. he pulls away, planting a kiss on your jaw.

“been..waiting..for this..for s’ long.” he says between the kisses he’s leaving along the side of your neck.

you hum as he continues kissing down to your collarbone. you grip onto his biceps as his fingers slide under the thin straps of your tank top.

just before he can continue, a loud scream erupts from the screen. being brought back to reality, the two of you stop. the thought of you two hooking up at a drive-in move like teenagers makes the both of you laugh.

he lays down aside you once again, draping his arm over your shoulder. “we’ll continue this later- without the sounds of people getting murdered in the background y’know.”

“yeah i’d like that”, you smile. “but take me out to dinner first.” you tease.

“oouu,” he chuckles at your comment. “we’ll go wherever you want.” he states before planting a kiss to your temple and turning his attention to the movie.

a/n- i feel like this is so bad and cringe and kinda short.…i just may never write again….jk…but seriously don’t judge i haven’t written in forever jus wanted to write something for funsies

let me know if u guys want more k bye muah

[prettyboykatsuki]

ITOSHI SISTER AND TRYING TO SNEAK ISAGI OUT? you are getting caught

sworn secrecy | i. yoichi.

✮ tags ; fem!reader(referred to as little sister but otherwise no gendered language), little sister itoshi (rin / sae are your big brothers), boyfriend!isagi, aged-up charas, use of honorfics for rin / sae (sae-nii / rin-nii), sneaking out, very silly. not nsfw but it's there implicitly

✮ wc ; 2k

✮ a/n ; have had bad writers block but this was a lot of fun.

✮ synopsis ; rin has made it very clear that isagi is strictly off-limits. you are not very good at listening.

It's a miracle you haven't died.

Isagi sits on the edge of your bed, wet hair and shirtless while watching Youtube videos while you stare outside of the window of your bedroom. Both of your brothers cars are still parked into the driveway.

You're screwed, actually. There's no hope for you anymore. You freeze as you hear footsteps in the hallway, shooting Isagi a look. He shrugs at you, a sly grin on his face. Unbothered and amused by the entire situation.

He's not going to be any help either it seems. You step away and crawl over to him in distress, throwing yourself into his lap. He drops his phone on side of the bed with a laugh, as you sit your knees on either side of his thighs.

His hand goes instantly to rest on the small of your back, knocking his forehead to yours. He has the audacity to giggle at you.

"Yoichi," You bemoan, clinging onto him for comfort even though he's most of the problem "How can you laugh in these conditions? Do you know how fucked I am?"

He gives you a wry grin "Well in a way,"

You hit him softly for the crass comment before clinging onto his shoulder. Isagi holds you comfortably, kissing whatever part of your shoulder you can reach. He traces little patterns into your skin, and you let yourself lean into the touch because you're unsure of when the next time will be if either of you happen to get caught.

"Yoichi," You whine again, frustrated and huffing "If Rin-nii catches me he's going to kill me."

He has the nerve to laugh.

"He'll be pissed but he's not gonna say anything to you. He's gonna kick my ass though."

"That's what I'm worried about, you dummy."

"Aw, you're worried about me? Hm? My baby is worried about me?"

Isagis coaxing helps soften your nerves even though it's not fixing the problem. You giggle quietly at the feeling of his lips on your neck and decide you're going to see him again at all costs.

It's a bad situation to be in. Surprisingly, while both of your older brothers are protective of you - Rin is the most strict about why you're not allowed to date his friends. Sae is a lot more lax about it, maybe because he's the oldest with the worst tendency of spoiling you. The only person he refuses to let you get involved with is Oliver and Shidou - but he doesn't particularly care about his other teammates if you're interested.

Rin, on the other hand, has been very verbal about you dating his teammates. A strict no on all of them, every last one - even the good and nice guys like gorilla-king Barou or Musclehead Kunigami. Chigiri is off-limits, Bachira is definitely off-limits, and the list goes on and on.

Of all of them though, Rin has a special disdain for the boy currently sitting half-naked in your bed after having sex with you the night before.

"If I ever catch that fucking freak looking at you, I'll kill him. You're not allowed to date Isagi ever."

When you were a little younger and it mattered to you more - you did try to stay away from them altogether. As the team went pro and Isagi came around more often to practice or bother Rin, the more difficult this ask became.

Isagi is two years older than you, and he's always been so nice to you. You'd only started speaking to him recently. He's attentive and charismatic, and awkward in an attractive way. All of that along with how he is when he plays - nauseatingly arrogant and cocky and so impossibly sexy made in impossible to stay away.

He wasn't always so tempting. But as of a few months ago, you couldn't take his eyes off him. So, at a party and away from your brothers view - you came onto him. He was even nice enough to try and stop you since he probably knew the outcome.

But your crush was only growing in size and you were determined to fuck him at least. So fuck him you did. You'd half been expecting your brothers gloom and doom to come true. You thought you'd wake up to an empty bed and no phone number - figure out why he'd always been so adamant on it.

Your bed was empty, but Isagi wasn't gone, he was making breakfast - grinning at you as you padded downstairs. You realized later that you'd be wiped down and changed sometime in the middle of the night. Turns out Isagi had his eyes on you for a long time, but per Rin's insanity decided not to approach. And now that you'd gone this far, he was determined to keep you.

Bridges burned, you started dating in secrecy. The only person who knows is Bachira. You kind of think Sae found out months ago, but chose not to let it slip. He just occasionally gives you knowing glances and tells you to be safe more often than not.

It's been 6-months and the two of you have been so careful. Isagi is mostly careful for your sake. He's told you more than once that he doesn't care who knows, even if it's Rin.

But you know your brother, and how fucking deranged he tends to be about stuff like this. So you've been sneaking around, doing home-dates or long-drives to avoid things that are too public and it's worked. You've been extra careful when you bring Isagi home - usually choosing to stay at his place.

Rin isn't supposed to be here. He went on a daytrip with his team for some photoshoot and was supposed to be home tomorrow. Sae was supposed to be in the gym. Now they're both at home, and Isagi is sitting in your bed while you're covered in hickies.

And you have not the slightest fucking idea how you're going to get him the hell out without being caught.

"I'm worried Rin-nii is going to fist-fight you." You say sincerely. Isagi laughs.

"I forgot he almost got into with Shidou. And Sae."

You sigh a deep sigh as Isagi rubs a circle into your back.

"I love you," You say with another frown.

"I love you too. Stop worrying so much. It'll be fine."

"You're only saying that because you don't know how much Rin lectured me about you specifically."

"Me specifically? Seriously? Am I that much of a villain to that guy?"

You laugh a little wetly "Yeah, kinda."

"Damn. Tough crowd.'

You both sit together in silence for a minute before sighing.

"Do you think I should enlist Sae-niis help?"

Isagi gives you a confused look. "I thought he didn't know?"

"I never told him but," You shrug sheepishly "Pretty sure he figured it out."

Isagi gives you a little kiss on the cheek "If you trust him, I trust him. We don't talk much but he seems cool to me."

You nod a little before grabbing your phone from next to Isagi - pulling back as you look for Sae's contact.

(sent 11:34am) : my beloved flesh and blood you know i love you with my whole heart yes.

from sae-nii (sent 11:34am) : how much money do you need? (sent 11:34 am) : no no its not that this time.

(sent 11:35 am) : uhm. isagi is in my room. and i need to sneak him out so rin doesn't see. help me. please please please. from sae-nii (sent 11:38 am) : ... you're such an idiot.

from sae-nii (sent 11:39am) : ill distract him. come down in 5 minutes exactly. and don't do this stupid shit again. im not helping you next time. (sent 11:40 am) : thank u i love you ur the best ever. favorite midfielder in the world.

You moan a sigh of relief as you drop your head onto Isagi's shoulder.

"Sae-nii is helping us. We're saved. Didn't even ask about anything."

"We'll have to make it up to him sometime." Isagi offers. You nod emphatically. You're sure he's going to interrogate you later but it won't be nearly as bad.

"We only have 5 minutes. I'll help you get your stuff."

"Thanks baby."

In 5 minutes, you help Isagi get dressed, pack of his stuff in the drawstring bag he brought with him, and give him a few kisses goodbye. You get a text at 11:44 on the dot saying Rin will be distracted for a little and to head down.

Your door creeks as you poke your head down, looking both ways before opening it completely and letting Isagi out. He does the same gesture as the two of you quietly make your down the stairs, Isagi's hand in yours as you trail behind him.

When you're finally downstairs, Sae is waiting at the end of the steps with a very unimpressed expression. You give him a look of gratitude, and he merely shakes his head. You're feeling especially lucky today.

Isagi comes all the way down and you stand next to him. Sae puts a hand on his shoulder and leans in.

"I called an Uber. It'll be waiting at the 7/11 on the corner..." A slight pause "Treat her well or I'll ruin your entire career."

Isagi swallows awkwardly.

"Y-yeah, of course."

Sae gives a satisfied nod before looking at you "I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, got it. Thank you nii-san." You reply. He softens before shaking his head.

"Go say your goodbyes outside. The Uber will be there soon and he still has to walk down there."

You usher Isagi outside, mouthing one last thank you to your brother before gently shutting the door behind you. Finally at your front door, you get a good look at your boyfriend under the early morning sun.

You give him a long hug, squeezing him tight as the wind passes by. He returns to the gesture, smiling in a goofy way as he pulls away from you.

"Stop looking so sad, baby." He reaches for you, cupping your cheek in his palm as he rubs his thumb underneath your eyes "I'll see you again soon, yeah."

You nod. You really don't want to part with him. Strangely the whole fiasco is only making you feel more fond. You hum, then sigh - giggling a bit.

"Mm, okay. Thanks for being you. Sorry your in-laws are insane."

"In-laws? Oh, am I getting proposed to first? That won't do."

"Stop that, I'm kidding."

"I'm not," He says with a light laugh "Let me win the World Cup first once though." He pulls your hand to his lips, kissing your ring finger and feeling for the size. You flush.

"Stop being so romantic and go home."

He laughs a little again, kissing your hairline and temple before kissing you once on the lips.

"Message received. I'll text you. Love you. Bye baby."

"Bye,"

You part with one last kiss, watching as Isagi walks down the sidewalk and disappears around the corner without looking back. A wave of relief passes over you but you'd soon find out how short-lived the moment would truly be.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

from sae-nii ( sent 11:57 am) : i tried to keep him from going outside but he..

The message cuts off as a sense of dread fills your stomach. You turn around slowly only to see Rin at the window, fuming.

Oh, you're so absolutely screwed.

__

AFTERMATH.

Isagi slides into the Uber with a heavy sigh, before sliding his phone open. A flood of messages awaits him all from the same time. Some from you opening with an apology - more from Rin that are a variety of threats.

He starts laughing in the back of the Uber, barely able to contain himself.

from evil twin (sent 11:56 am) : im gonna fucking murder you.

from evil twin (sent 11:56 am) : i already told her. no you especially. im gonna fucking flay you as soon as i see you.

Isagi laughs as he types back a reply, shutting his phone after putting his airpods in and playing music.

sent 12:08 pm : looking forward to family dinner otouto

[thesunisatangerine]

prometeme (promise me)

alexia putellas x streamer!reader

warning/s: nothing, just fluff

a/n in the tags

*first emoji set: grinning face with big eyes and a thumbs up

*second emoji: a thumbs up

You put the controller down, hands shaking, letting out a victorious sigh of relief. 

“Woah, that boss was something else. Jeez, I’m literally shaking, guys. I can’t believe I survived that last hit!” You chuckled, still a little breathless from the adrenaline pumping through you as you looked at the camera. “We nearly died but we pulled through! I’m just going to take a small break ‘cause that was intense!”

You stretched your arms before you grabbed your tumbler of water next to you, allowing your eyes to flit over the windows on your three monitors, ensuring that everything functioned properly for the stream. 

Then as you sipped your water, you spied a rather big influx of comments on one of your chats from the corner of your eyes. It was your Instagram chat that seemed to be in danger of exploding–that fact in and of itself was weird because most of your audience were on Twitch and YouTube. So you frowned, squinting your eyes slightly to see what was happening.

‘why is alexia putellas here?’

‘So…. are we not going to talk about how Alexia Putellas is watching this?’

‘omgggg HI ALEXIAAaA!!!’

‘wait alexia who??’

‘ALEXIA?!!1?!?’

‘FORÇA BARÇA!!!!!!!!’

‘yoooo alexia is here?!?’

‘yall who tf is this alexia???’

Your eyes nearly bugged out of your sockets and you just as nearly spat out the water in your mouth. And sure enough when you scrolled up as subtly as you could, there it was: alexiaputellas joined. What the fuck is she doing?! And as if it wasn’t already bad enough, you saw her comment. 

alexiaputellas: nice 😃👍*

That did nothing but add fuel to the fire because more comments started flooding in, most of them freaked out and confused.

‘guys she just commented!!!!’

‘eyooo look at your chat alexia wants to talk to you!!1!’

‘do you two know each other??’

‘HI ALEXIA!!

‘can somne pls tell me who alexia issss’

‘alexia aren’t you supposed to be training why are you here lol

‘this is so random wtffff’

‘ikr i didnt even know she likes stuff likes this’

And then you spotted the question you dreaded to see: 

‘wait, are you guys dating??!!?!?’ 

Oh, you were so going to kill her for this. But first, you needed to find a way to calm this situation down without arousing further suspicion because if you ignored it, it would definitely just come back to bite the both of you. 

Most of your followers knew that you liked football. You’d mentioned on a number of occasions that Alexia was one of your favorite players so you knew you couldn’t act too dumb but you couldn’t act too familiar, either. You needed to act just excited enough to know that one of your favorite footballers was watching you but not overtly so that it would look unconvincing. Yet still, that wouldn’t answer the question of why Alexia Putellas would be watching a videogame livestream especially when said livestreamer wasn’t someone she followed. Not to mention that the time at where Alexia was supposed to be was–you looked at the clock widget on your monitor that displayed your time and Spain’s–was currently 3 am!

Alexia, you little shit.

Thankfully, you caught sight of a comment on your Twitch chat that gave you a good segue to start addressing this.

“‘Hey, look at your Insta chat,’” you read out before adding, “why? What are you guys up to on there?”

You made a show of moving your mouse. 

“Woah! Okay, why are y’all freaking out?” You squinted your eyes slightly, trying to seem like you were trying to figure out what was happening. Immediately, you were bombarded with responses telling you that Alexia was there.

“‘Alexia Putellas is watching’. Ha, very funny. There’s no way, y’all are just playing me.”

Then another good response popped up for what you said and you read it out loud. “‘She commented something.’ Where?”

You scrolled your mouse profusely, furrowing your brows for effect. Once you found it, you held your breath, widened your eyes slightly and covered your mouth with your hand.

“Holy sh–no, there’s no way… Uh–I don’t know what to–Hi, Alexia! And, thank you?” You put your face in your hands as you let out an embarrassed sound–half-real and partly an act. It wasn’t difficult to imitate a fan when you were one yourself and just because you were dating Alexia that didn’t stop you from fanning over her when she’s on the pitch. 

The chat seemed to calm down and you were thankful that that little play worked. 

Then you added, addressing the chat but you hoped that Alexia would get the clue to not do anything else or better, to leave the live. “This is so weird! I don’t know why she’s on here but Alexia, I hope you enjoy the show!”

To your mortification, Alexia replied in the chat again.

alexiaputellas: don’t worry, i will 👍*

Groaning internally, you watched as the chat exploded again. What did you expect really? You had to admit you played yourself there, you should had known that Alexia would do that. You tried to do damage control but at this point, you just hoped that your followers wouldn’t look into this too much. You made a mental note to talk to Alexia about her not joining any of your streams with her official account. 

“Okay, so I guess we should get this show back on the road, huh?” With that, you picked up the controller and started again. You had about an hour of streaming left and you started counting down the seconds. You only hoped Alexia wouldn’t try anything again.

———

“Thank you to everyone who tuned in tonight! I enjoyed it very much and I hope you did, too! Have a good night–or a good day depending on what time you’re watching this–and I’ll see you guys again in the next stream!”

You waved and directed one last smile at the camera before you disconnected the stream from all your platforms. Then you spent some time tidying up some loose ends before finally shutting everything down. You stretched as you got out of the chair, opened the door of your stream room, and made your way to the living room.

“Did you have fun?” You asked drily, throwing Alexia a dirty look as you crossed your arms and leaned against the doorframe of the living room. Alexia laid comfortably down on the couch, a matching pair of grey sweats and shirt on, feet propped up on one end and one arm under her head on the other. She placed her phone down on the coffee table when she heard your voice, looking at you with an innocent look though the cheeky quirk at the corner of her lips said anything but.

“Well, since you asked, I did.” She added, grinning, “you looked so cute flustered like that.”

“You’re unbelievable!” You grumbled as you threw your hands up in exasperation but there was no sting to it. And what did you get in response? The sound of cheerful laughter. It was contagious and the mask on your face cracked, making way for a smile that left your cheeks hurting from how wide it was.

You walked towards the couch and Alexia scooched over, making space for you as she held her hand out the moment you got close enough. 

“Come here. I missed you.” Alexia said in a soft voice, her hazel eyes just as gentle in the low light. She pulled you down so you’d lay against her side, your head on her chest and you sighed contentedly, immediately melting in her tender warmth, her arms strong and steady wrapped around your waist. 

“It’s ony been three hours.”

“That was three hours worth of not having you next to me.” She kissed the top of your head as she muttered the words and you felt your chest ache as if your heart wanted to burst out to reach for hers. Being this close to her, it was the best place in the world. 

You hummed in response, nuzzling your nose against the column of her neck and breathed her in. “You’re such a sweet-talker.”

“Not if it’s true, my love.” Alexia countered without a second thought. Your cheeks and ears warmed and you hid your face in the crook of her neck.

“Alexia, stop!” 

You felt the vibration of her laughter against your cheek. “What? I’m not doing anything!”

“Yes, you are. You’re doing everything right that sometimes it scares me,” you admitted in a whisper. Alexia brought a hand over your cheek and brushed the skin there with her thumb in a soothing manner.

“Who’s the sweet-talker now?” Alexia said teasingly.

“God, you’re so annoying. I don’t know why I love you.”

At that, she laughed again. “You like it when I’m like this. And I love you, too.”

A moment of comfortable silence filled what little space between you. You listened to the steady rhythm of Alexia’s heartbeat beneath your ear as she played with your hair. 

Then you spoke, “just promise me one thing, darling?"

“What?” Alexia hummed.

“Warn me before you do that again.”

She turned to catch your gaze, brilliant mischief twinkled in those hazel eyes, her dimples showed as she said, “that I can’t do.”

“Alexia!”