#did you fuck the pokemon mafia boss

[nonovyabuisness]

Depending on the story…he probably did 👀👀👀

did you?

[piffany666]

My new grease fire life

A swap au with jean, Duke dandy, intern and dennys

Chapter 1.

(Disclaimer: since Duke dandy has confirmed himself within the series that he is gay this intern will be exclusively male)

The back of Duke's head hit the wall he was leaning against as he groaned, he had left his lighter on his bead side.

He decided not to best himself up for it to much tho, while he did make a habit of smoking at work, it had been a chaotic couple of months so he decided it best to cut himself some slack.

If he thought about just how chaotic his life had been as of lately he gave himself a headache, how so much could happen within the span of so little time he didn't know. How he went from "back ally pot head" to "D list mafia goon" he just...didn't know.

Or at least he tried not to think about it...

His co workers where cool enough tho, listening to Bing and Boom fight on the regular provided him with enough entertainment to last a lifetime and his boss wasn't that bad either, another anomaly considering Duke's genral behaviour towards him and his son, but Bing and Boom had told him that such attitude was similar to that of a guy who used to work with them that he "ought not to mention" so that was probably why he got away with being as disrespectful as he had been, apparently the guy who bing had told Duke he "ought not to mention in front of the boss" had made off with a suitcase containing thousands of dollars worth of pokemon cards that they where planning on laundering, upon hearing this for the first time Duke couldn't bring himself to stop laughing.

But in any case, something Duke found interesting about that story was how he managed to even get a hold of that suitcase. Apparently, according to the brothers, the intern had shot the girl who had the suitcase in the hand, causing her to drop it. He and his predecessor left the scean with the suitcase, and the next thing the brothers knew, the intern was alone in the accounting office with no suitcase and no accountant.

Duke didn't know why he couldn't stop thinking about that story for a long while after he was told it, maybe it was because he felt bad because according to the boss everyone was so impressed by the interns actions that day that they where all planing on letting him in on the gangster shit Bing and Boom got to do every day but due to their accountants disappearance somone needed to handle finances leaving intern trapped in that office. Or maybe it was his curious-ness regarding that old accountant, who's name Duke couldn't muster up enough fucks to give to remember, and what could have happend between him and the intern that lead him to give up the suitcase or-

Duke suddenly heard the door to the accounting office open along with the sound of Bing and Boom's voice.

"Thanks intern, Boom get in the car. Duke, we're done here, you comin' or what?"

Duke didn't move from his position against the wall, there was no way he was doing any gangster shit without his mandatory smoke brake so he figured he'd test out what the boss was willing to put up with and take the rest of the day off.

"Nah, I'm good. Maybe I'll catch you up, but probly not"

"Oh...alright then...?" Bing was clearly sceptical but that certainly wasnt stopping Duke.

Boom also seemed concerned

"Are you sure Duke? The boss will be mad"

"Yeah I'm good big guy, besides if the boss isn't going to get mad at me for saying his son should've been swallowed by his wife he's not going to get mad at me for skipping a day's worth of work"

Duke heard a snicker coming from the open doorway of the accounting office, the intern closed the door behind them and stood outside still laughing at Duke's coment.

"Did that really happen?"

Duke wasn't sure if he was talking to him or the brothers but regardless Bing answered.

"Oh yeah you should have been there intern, the look on his face was hilarious!"

"I can imagine, wish I was there to see it..."

The look on interns had face darkened, Duke thurowed his eyebrows at this.

"Hey, come on, intern. we talked to the boss, and he said that if we find a new account, he'd group you in with us in a second!"

Bings attempt at reassurance was sweet but seemed to do nothing.

"It's cool, don't worry about it... now don't you guys have gangster shit to do?"

Intern's smirk returned, but it wasn't the same as before.

"Oh shit, yeah, you're right, Boom! Get in the car!"

"Buy intern!"

Boom waved from inside the car before it sped off.

Intern gave him a small wave before they went out of sight.

Duke just stood there a moment staring at him, he'd had a total of 4 actual conversations with him all of which where just in passing maybe now was a chance to change that?

But before he could ask intern if he had a light on him, the intern turned to him and asked:

"You want a light for that, or are you just gonna hold it?"

Taggs:

@pinkcocopuff-aqualoid (thank you for the name) @jarromir (thank you for the encouragement) @lozerboylucas (thank you for the ask post that started all this) @escapedaudios (and thank you for making these hot losers)

[skubean]

what about luxiem with a bold person?

hi hi, anon! thank you for the idea!! i actually like this idea since it's the opposite of what i wrote bfr for vox and luca. sorry it took a while to do this, i'm a little sick rn T.T anyways, hope you liked this one <3

Luxiem with a Bold! Gender Neutral Reader

characters: luca kaneshiro, shu yamino, mysta rias, ike eveland, vox akuma

notes: gender neutral reader, i wasn't sure if i wanted to make reader be in a romantic or platonic relationship but i guess you can interpret it as you like, i used different interpretations of bold here so some might be slightly suggestive, nothing else enjoy!!

luca kaneshiro

you know how luca's always saying how he's not bullyable and tends to (playfully) bully others instead?

yea so when you counterattacked his teasing, safe to say this guy was absolutely shocked.

like, he knew you were cute and all, but he didn't expect for you to be on the same level as he is when it comes to teasing.

it's like he'd be all brave and kusogaki, and then you counter him, and the next thing he knows is he's a mess, a blushing mess.

you're pretty observant, so you notice the way he reacts, which will only entice more reaction from him.

one time you playfully touched his thigh while he was gaming, and the poor dude started stuttering so bad.

an idiot, for sure.

he's fine with pda, but for some reason, you like teasing him while touching him, so he's wary of it (like he gets really red)

overall, this man is too pure for the world. you'd feel a little bad but how else will you be able to see such a reaction from a mafia boss?

shu yamino

believe me when i say this, but shu definitely is chill as hell when you act all bold around him.

you'd say the most shocking thing, and this guy will just snicker at you.

which is why you get braver around him, just to get that reaction out of him.

if you're lucky, he'd say stuff back to you.

kind of like the type where you flirt and say stupid shit, but he says it back seriously and it just goes haywire.

if you're someone who's bold with the way you talk, i believe shu is like your #1 supporter. he doesn't seem like a man who would say much, but this guy would have your back no matter what. it's you both against the world fr fr.

i believe in bold and flirty shu agenda (real!!)

though shu won't like it if you do bold stuff around other people/in public, because he doesn't want you to get hurt.

to top it off, i believe shu is pretty cool with have a bold person around. don't piss him off though, he's feisty.

mysta rias

mysta's pretty bold, isn't he. so i expect a you + mysta combo to be double the trouble.

the unstoppable duo that just does whatever they want, says whatever's on their mind.

you both just fit right with each other (match made in heaven)

but trust me, if you reciprocate back his words, this guy goes brain dead from it.

kinda like the type that can tease you, but can't handle being teased. sort of like luca in a way, except he's more brazen.

y'all did the pokemon pass or smash thing, and this guy is just dead ass surprised from your play at it bcs what the fuck.

mysta's a sweet boy though, he still gets really shy when you say stuff.

he's gotten used to your affection, so i don't think it bothers him anymore.

but hug him for too long and this guy goes craaazy (because he's shy lmao)

anyways, mysta + you duo is deadly, physically and mentally.

ike eveland

ike is a man who's good with words, you can't fight him, nuh uh.

my lord have you seen eki? exactly.

he'd act like he's tired of your bs or like doesn't really like what you're doing, but you know this guy loves it, he's just tryna mask it.

you being bold either puts a nasty grin on his face, or the loudest sigh ever heard from mankind.

told him your darkest deepest secrets and this guy stares back at you, mouth wide opened tryna process what he just heard.

you just giggle in response.

ike lowkey likes seeing you be bold and defend yourself when people do things against your beliefs. he thinks it's endearing.

though he doesn't ever tell you, he just lets you run free, only holding you back when he deems necessary.

10/10, tsundere. acts like he doesn't like it, likes it like hell.

vox akuma

vox himself is already one hell of a bold guy T.T

some days, it's like a competition to see who's bolder. (you lose)

y'all could be platonic or dating, and this guy still says the sluttiest shit ever, and gets you a blushing mess.

he likes that your energy matches his, so it makes him really happy.

i'd say it's pretty crazy to see two people with such brazen language (ykwim).

he's a sweetheart though, kinda like the type that let's their partner say mean stuff, while they support wholeheartedly.

the first time you did a bold move and pretty much sat on him, this guy had the most shit-eating grin you've ever seen.

he held onto you, which made you panic, and then laughs seeing you get all red.

trust me, it doesn't work. he's too powerful T.T you think you're bold until you face vox akuma.

a/n: hi, sorry this one's pretty short and somewhat really ooc. i wrote this based on what i picture each member would be like! also, i'm getting a lot sicker so i'll probably not be able to write a valentine's fic today, but i'll try tomorrow since it might be valentine's in other places of the world! happy valentine's by the way everyone <3 stay safe! - eden

send requests here and read the rules here!

[lesbianneopolitan]

So exactly how many versions of Neo have you made ?

If we're talking about somewhat proper AUs

I only had this pic with these but-

From left to right: V1-6, V6-9, Vampire AU, Rock AU, Cyberpunk AU, Nevermore AU, Pokemon AU

Then I have the obvious one, my post V9 Neo! For fun I also did Adventure Time Neo and Helltaker Neo, but it was more so to draw them in the artstyle for fun than anything

The Future Spicecream Timeline AU, just the canon I wanna follow for my normal Neo but in the future, she's some kind of a hitman- then there's Homestuck Neo, and the proper Mafia AU!

Then there's Vivziepop/Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel, Cat AU, Dragon AU

And how could I almost forget, the Jennifer's Body AU LMAO

And fuck, Slasher AU Neo

Edit: FRICKING FFXIV MIQO'TE NEO!!

[perelka-l]

I feel bad for Archer. He strikes me as such a young and intelligent person. I get the impression that he experiences his emotions intensely and, for the most part, he hides it well. It’s just that when it comes to Giovanni and Nanu… they’re so much older and experienced by comparison. It’s like a child trying to lie to a parent. Archer simply cannot do it as well as he thinks. The only reason Giovanni and Nanu pretend not to notice is because they want to save him some grace. (1)

They’re also probably talking shit about him for it when he’s not there. Archer just wants to be loved by the only person he feels comfortable accepting that love from. Which for some reason is an old, fucked up mafia boss. Poor guy.

I'm gonna.... Politely disagree in most points xD I'll elaborate. As usual wwww

For starters I don't see Archer as very young. I see him as more early 30s-mid 30s category myself (I'd imagine he joined TR maybe mid-teens, btw, already when it was under Giovanni's reign).

Admittedly, Pokemas surprised me a bit with how young he sounds but also I recently got hit by a headcanon that Archer deliberately takes great care to groom himself and, in effect, looks younger than he really is, because it makes it easier to misjudge him, and that's a hc that I immediately implanted into my head. Plus, tbh, I feel like with every portrayal he looks younger and younger tho (I am unsure if I like it ngl).

With Archer's emotions I am usually struck how sentimental he can be. He emotes in LGPE quite nicely (mostly his anger lol) and his tendency to write letters to express himself is a neat little quirk that I feel like is pretty overlooked. I am 100% sure he did write at least one more letter aside from LGPE one and I... can't find it? At all?? Anywhere? I' sure I didn't imagine that, right???? wtfffff anyway he's a sentimental bitch MOVING ON Anyway, I feel like he could be a type that hides his emotions well (he does look a bity icy imho ...which is hilarious when you consider what Pokemon is his signature) and will express himself when he wants you to know what he feels. Like, for example, that he is fed up with your shit. If he wants you to know, you will know, but if he is more blank, it's hard to say. Though I really like how he hides smirk behind his hand, like he can't quite resist but still tries to be professional :)c

With comparisons to Giovanni and Nanu, I would say he does have some advantages over them as well. Archer is very idealistic and thus, driven and energetic when it comes to his goals. He is not only dedicated to Giovanni, but to Team Rocket as well - he simply believes that what is best for Team Rocket is to be led by Giovanni, and not himself. But all in all he believes firmly in an ideal, which is not something Nanu can say. Just yet another way they contrast with each other (which is something I wrote about in another anon answer).

I also can't help but perceive Archer as a determined perfectionist. That can be seen as contrast to... Giovanni, actually. Gio has more of an approach of well, I failed, I can try again later and differently, no rush tbh. Archer is different, trying to achieve something with nothing but a clear goal in mind, all tunnel vision, and he won't stop until he's clearly proven he can't get there. One could even argue Archer's failure in GSC stems from him trying to force Giovanni's hand from the way Gio approaches things. But that's an interpretation.

To continue a previous thought, I think Archer would even... appreciate being underestimated. He is a bit of a gray eminence, I feel. He has no need to be on the top, although number two fits him very nicely, as it gives him a degree of control, but he still responds to Giovanni, and Giovanni only, a sure wall behind his back (so losing that wall later on was a shock). At that, he is a number two in TR. I really don't think he got there by sheer luck alone, I do think he got this far through proper hard work and maybe on some corpses. Pokemas supplying us that Ariana actively desires to topple him and can't only speaks of his efficiency and reliability (in FRLG (presumably) she even warns player that (presumably) Archer is more powerful than she is, so make with that what you will).

That number two is a sign he's being appreciated for what he is doing. He does what is needed for TR, and this is Giovanni's reward. I don't think he cares about anything but this.

At the same time, I think Nanu wouldn't be foolish enough to underestimate him, for precisely same reasons. Anyone that got far in TR is a potential threat, and I'm gonna throw my hc here but Nanu remembers the time when Giovanni wasn't even in top 2. He is a cop and he is a traumatized man and that is enough for me to believe he wouldn't turn his guard down.

And Giovanni, well. For Archer, Giovanni is literally everything. I would say it goes deeply beyond just a crush - Giovanni is something that he can rely on as a concept, a goal to achieve and something that you can devout yourself to (and that's even how Archer describes him). Which is why I compared him to a wall, a comfortable concept on which you can lean. One could wonder if Archer perceives Giovanni as a man at all, but I like to think the answer is yes. I like a thought that Archer saw Giovanni at his lower (not lowest, that is something not even Nanu witnessed but he knows of) and is aware of some things about him that others never will. And Giovanni is both aware of this and ignores that, because Archer is equally reliable for him as well. There is this one follower that will always be devout, that you can nod at and he will come, eager to do anything you wish, and one that at that proved himself time and time again.

(and yet you left, because you found yourself not enough to lead even him. How the tables turn.)

[bluemoondust]

Fucking- most of the time we see Giovanni after like Gen 2, he’s wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora, you’re going to tell me he’s not the type of person to pretend to bump into you and whisper “come with me” while shoving a gun into your back because nobody would have seen the gun either way. WHAT THE FUCK IS A DRIVE BY KIDNAPPING EITHER WAY? -Angry 🙄🩴 anon

A lot of people at the time would recognize Giovanni when laying eyes on him, so in the scenario where he approaches you and asks you to follow him, uhhh you're screwed. Like, what can you do? He's an intimidating figure, the boss of Team Rocket (basically the pokemon world's mafia/yakuza group—more yakuza though), the effing Viridian Gym Leader until he resigned. So, yeah, definitely can't go against what he's asking of you. I mean, he wouldn't shoot you, that's just a bluff but do you know that? No. Giovanni knows that, so he uses that to his advantage as he guides you away from any prying eyes. How else did this man manage to go into hiding for years? He's just built different and has means of getting around without being noticed.

As for drive by kidnapping. I actually have no idea what it's really called but this is an explanation: I've heard of just, people driving up to victims while their alone and just picking them off the streets. Pulling them in the car while still managing to silence them. Sometimes, you know, they're just stuffed into the trunk of the car, but I can see Giovanni pulling his darling in the back passenger seats as a grunt is driving.

[moonbaby26]

(gif from Jason Passaro’s youtube edit here)

Title: One Shitty Friday Night (Part 1)

Pairings: Peter Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Colossus x Shadowcat

Summary: Set after the events of Deadpool 2, you and your boyfriend Peter are on a double date downtown with your fellow X-Men Piotr Rasputin (Colossus) and Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) when Deadpool and Russell arrive unexpectedly. Chaos and violence naturally ensues, including taking down mafia henchmen, dealing with news media and paparazzi who circle in with the action, and a jealous Peter. This will be concluded in Part 2 with the mixed reactions of Logan, Charles, and Erik when you all bring Wade and Russell back home, etc. 😄

Notes: For simplicity’s sake as Piotr R. is normally called “Peter” as well, he’ll just be referred to as Colossus here.

Warnings: Some alcohol use. And it’s Deadpool, so a lot of cursing and irreverent jokes of course. This started out as just crack!fic that became actual fic that had to be split into two parts because it hit post limit. Holy cow.

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

—————————

Kitty all but snorted, trying to put her drink back down on the table before it could end up fully sideways instead as her laughter left her trembling.

Colossus sighed quietly, but you could still see the warmth in his eyes as he looked down at her before helping dab up some of her errant wine off the table with a thick cloth napkin.

It was late Friday night, and save for your semi disapproving, large and very Russian designated driver, the other three of you were now several drinks deep and a bit too loudly enjoying Peter’s retelling of the Led Zeppelin cover band debacle. You’d been there with him that night, but it never got old the way Peter told it.

“I shit you not, and this guy still keeps hitting on Jean.” Peter continued, his third nearly empty glass of craft beer still in hand. “Scott’s about to fry the dude. They’re playing Immigrant Song, and these lasers start up. All dudebros in the club go wild, and Scott tries to sneak off a warning shot. Freaking air balls it! I have to move like forty people and it still blows a damn hole in the wall. But nobody even noticed! Fake Robert Plant is screaming his heart out and everybody is just eating it up. I swear my Dad could have flown in there, cape billowing and they still would have thought it was part of the show!”

You were at risk of being elbowed in this small restaurant booth, with how animated Peter was as he spoke beside you. But you didn’t mind. The lighting was dim, possibly verging on romantic, the smell of good food from the kitchen reminded you of what was to come, and you were just enjoying time with some of your favorite people.

When Peter did finally drop his hand again though, the not so subtle movements of it then up your thigh also promised something much more personal later tonight. Maybe it was the warmth from the mixed drinks you were also nursing, but you shifted your leg a little, pushing even more into his touch under the table. Your movement just signaled your silent agreement to him that tonight would be a perfect night to be throwing clothes on the floor as soon as you got back to your shared room at the mansion.

It’d been a long, tiring week after all. Helping teach classes during the day and training your ass off in the danger room every night, you didn’t think it was unreasonable to cut loose a bit now.

Even Colossus was chuckling a little at last, but the big guy was always softest around Kitty. You in particular had been one of her biggest supporters when she’d first confessed her attraction towards him. You’d noticed his bashfulness with her as well, and all the little glances he’d given her long before she’d ever worked up the courage to ask him out.

But that seemed so long ago now, it was hard to really remember a time when they weren’t together. Almost as long as you and Peter really.

You glanced up as the waiter came back by to check on you all, saying your food would be out in a few more minutes and asking if anyone needed more drinks.

“Oh gosh, we’re really running up the tab right?” Kitty smiled.

You could see the little bit of relief in Colossus’ expression as she waved the waiter off though, her current wine glass still nearly full. “I’m fine for now, thank you.”

Peter glanced at you and you nodded as well. A buzz was fine, but you didn’t want to be climbing the mansion stairs full on drunk tonight. “I’m good.”

As the waiter left, your conversation got a little more subdued. You leaned into Peter somewhat, hip to hip in the booth as he put his arm around your waist.

Kitty was now talking about a movie she thought you should all go see next weekend if you could. You were just in the process of agreeing as you’d wanted to see it too, when Colossus suddenly went stock still, a look of real surprise on his face.

Kitty evidently noticed as soon as you did, you both staring up at him in unison.

“Do not turn around,” He instructed to you and Peter, eyes locked on something behind you.

Of course when told to do one thing, it would take everything in Peter’s willpower to not do the opposite. But to his credit he actually did hesitate. “Do we need to be dodging something? I mean, I can move us if I need to, man. You just gotta let me know.” Peter stated.

“I don’t think he’s seen us yet. Please do not draw attention.” Colossus responded, still frustratingly vague to the rest of you.

But he hadn’t metaled up yet, his skin still entirely human looking. So on the plus side, it couldn’t be someone he thought an immediate physical threat.

You glanced to Kitty for some hope of explanation as she was seated beside Colossus and facing the same direction. But she was too short in comparison to him, and couldn’t see all the way across the booth dividers as easily as he could. “Well who is it?” Kitty demanded quietly.

But you heard an impatient voice carry over clearly from the nearby restaurant entrance.

“Look, you know he’s here. I know he’s here. Don’t make me leave you guys a bad Yelp review. I will totally Karen that shit up. I’m just here for him.” A pause. “...And some of the cannolis. God, I love those things. You went a little scarce on the filling last time though. Don’t make me add that to the Yelp review.”

You heard the hostess stutter, fear evidently building. “Sir, firearms are not allowed in this restaurant. The owner, he, I...I can’t.”

There was a loud sigh from the man, the distinct sound of a gun cocking, and then all hell broke loose.

“WADE!” Colossus screamed, your entire table flipping as he stood up, metal now encasing him in this even larger form.

Abruptly you were now standing back by the entrance yourself. Peter had one arm around you, and the other around Kitty as he let you both go just as instantly, having just brought you there before he disappeared again.

That little flare up of vertigo from the speed and sudden stop didn’t mix well with the alcohol, and she and you both stood there another moment, queasy as Peter appeared again with an armful of guns.

It would have been comical as he clearly had no idea where to put them now, but everyone else that had still been in the restaurant was already screaming and running for the doors in a panic.

The owner of the multiple guns couldn’t care less about the crowd however, only turning his full focus to the lot of you then in exasperation.

“Oh my God, you anti second amendment, mother fuckers. I’m in the middle of a job here!”

“You can’t just point guns at innocent people, Wade! We have talked about this many times!” Colossus retorted, all seven foot of him now standing over Deadpool with paternal like annoyance.

“For fuck’s sake, it’s called a threat. I wasn’t going to kill her you overprotective, asshat! Now Giovanni is probably holed up in some pussy ass panic room, or he’s already ghosted me out the back door! And yes, I know that is such a stereotypical mob boss name and totally sounds like the Pokemon villain. Fuck him and his always trying to take Pikachu! He had a talking cat the whole time who just wanted his love, but no, got to have the electric rat. Fuck!”

“Language, Wade!” Colossus scolded. “There is still a child present!”

And honestly in all this insanity, that was the first time you actually noticed Russell also still standing there. Everyone else in the room had now fled out into the street.

“I’m fucking fourteen,” The boy replied defiantly. “And yeah, we were working!”

“Daddy and angrier metal daddy are just talking, hon.” Deadpool commented, waving a hand.

There was a small gust of air beside you and you looked to Peter knowingly. Wade’s guns were now all on a table, though intentionally still distant from your current position. “So I just made a couple laps.” Peter spoke up. “The cops are already coming, and there’s still a bunch of guys in the basement. They were opening some crates, probably getting weapons? I didn’t know if we were taking them out yet though. I didn’t touch anything. But is Giovanni like a big dude with gold rings and all?”

“I’m telling you besides the drug and human trafficking, it’s practically more criminal how much he sets back Italian-American stereotypes. They are an honest, manicotti making people goddamn it.” Deadpool answered.

You really were starting to regret the amount of drinks you’d had. If you’d known tonight was going to be anything like this, you would have gladly stuck to water. Your head was already trying to throb a little as you finally spoke. “So, does this guy actually have warrants out on him? If the cops come, they’re all going to end up shooting each other most likely. Can we just defuse this by giving him up to them?”

“I would say we assist to prevent unnecessary bloodshed, if that is the case, yes. I’m sure the Professor would prefer that.” Colossus agreed.

“Freaking goody two shoes, all of you.” Wade sighed. “But he has to get arrested or dead okay? I don’t get paid otherwise.” He paused though, then looking back up to Colossus before suddenly elbowing him. As if he’d even really feel that. “And hello rudeness, are you not going to introduce me to your little girls night out club here before we go bust some heads in a gratuitous X-Force/X-Men hotties crossover?”

“X-Force?” Kitty asked, sounding as already over this as could be.

“Well, we are a little empty on the roster at the moment. Some...unfortunate parachuting incidents. Wind advisory that day. You know how it goes.” Deadpool shrugged.

By her expression, no. She did not know how it went.

But the sooner you started, the sooner this could be over. Colossus motioned to each of you in turn, “Peter, (Y/N), and Kitty. These are my teammates and friends.” He nodded back to Deadpool, “And this is Wade.” And then to the boy. “And Russell.”

Of course you already knew who they both were. It’d been a bit of a scandal really, with the whole Essex House fiasco and the deaths that had occurred there. Fair or not, a lot of the blame had ended up on Juggernaut the second time around though you thought. Which is why Charles hadn’t had to deal with too much bad press in the aftermath.

You could not let this become another Essex House situation for the X-Men though. You were about to speak up about heading to the basement together and Deadpool staying out of your way so you all could neutralize everyone without any fatal hits, when he gasped dramatically, making you freeze again.

“Kitty!? Like an actual girl named Kitty? Oh my God, this whole time I thought you were his cat!” He hit his own leg, laughing. “I’m thinking, holy shit this guy loves his goddamn cat, but who am I to judge you know? I had a dog named Mr. Shuggums. Cutest little fucker.” He took a breath. “I miss him.”

“Wade.” Colossus groaned. “We do not have all night.”

Okay, so there was still something sweet about Colossus gushing about his girlfriend even to this manic mercenary. But no kidding, this show really needed to get on the road here.

“Guys, why don’t we just let Peter disarm them all, Colossus, you grab Giovanni, and Kitty and I deal with anyone who still resists? No one has to get hurt, and then it’s all done, easy.”

“And then we go find somewhere else to eat. Killing me here. I wanted that damn calzone and tiramisu.” Peter sighed, pulling his goggles back down over his eyes again. “More guns coming up.”

He disappeared at once, but when he didn’t return immediately as you were so accustomed to, you and Kitty exchanged a nervous look.

And after only another few seconds, your instincts told you something had definitely gone wrong.

“Is the basement directly beneath us?” You asked Deadpool sharply, already reaching out a hand to Kitty. Your adrenaline was starting, all good feelings gone as it was now time to act.

But you’d worked together long enough now, you didn’t have to explain your plan to her or Colossus.

Yet when the previously mouthy merc had no instant response, just staring at you in thought, it was clear he hadn’t done any recon beforehand at all. He’d literally just walked in here and expected everything to work out.

“Perfect.” Kitty said sarcastically, glancing quickly to Colossus as she took your hand. “You’re our backup, dear, in case our vertical entrance doesn’t work out. Come find us.”

“Always.” He said, already turning, his weight shaking the floor as he ran to look for any stairway downward while you and Kitty dropped straight through the floor.

It was surely a risk of its own to use her phasing ability so blindly as this. You could end up in a too small crawlspace, in underground piping, a sewer system, anything really. She’d make sure not to go solid until it was safe, as to not impale or bury you alive of course. But if Peter were in trouble, there was no time to waste by ending up at a dead end and having to go back up and try again.

You’d held your breath, as there was no way for you to process oxygen either as your lungs and every other part of you shifted through the other matter. It was darkness and insulation, pipes, and conduit that flashed by at first. But in the fractions of seconds that it took to fall, you had already powered up. The white light of your energy field overtaking your body, shielding you both as you did fall into a larger open area.

It was even darker than the restaurant above, all concrete and dampness. The glow from your body was the brightest thing there as much more men than you’d expected all turned in surprise. You saw the glint of multiple gun barrels now, but the thing you wanted to see most was Peter’s silver hair as you’d scanned the area for him instantly.

There was a stairwell in the distance. He was laying near the bottom of it. But you had no time to be shocked or afraid, only anger swelled as you released Kitty’s hand, making you solid again. “I’ll get him.” Was all you said. Letting her know to protect herself as you flew to him. Bullets couldn’t hurt her if she was ready for them. But Peter would be defenseless without one of you now, and by means of your power of flight you were the faster of you and her.

The man closest to Peter had a different kind of gun though you realized. Something you didn’t recognize at all as he aimed at you. You splayed your palms to create an energy shield in front of you as he pulled the trigger.

It didn’t make a sound though. But everything around you instantly distorted as pain exploded through you. You saw five or six of him now, as your feet hit the ground, unable to concentrate enough to fly then. But even as you stumbled, realizing your shielding wasn’t fully stopping whatever that weapon was doing, you were still able to expand your shield rapidly, hitting the man with the force of a car in your pain and sending him flying into a nearby wall, the weapon clattering to the ground lightly against his now limp body.

But you still felt like you were going to puke.

“Kill them you idiots!” Someone screamed.

You dropped yourself, laying over Peter just as quickly, grateful to feel him breathing as you focused through the pain to extend a shield around you both as the gunfire started.

“Bitch!” Another man yelled as Kitty just walked unharmed through all the flying bullets towards you.

“Shadowcat actually,” She said, skilled enough in her powers to choose what was solid and what wasn’t. Just the outside of her fist being all she needed to crush his nose in one punch with a squirt of blood, and only the end of her foot used as she swept her leg after to knock his own right out from under him.

Even among your own team, sometimes people could forget that that petite Jewish girl was about as skilled a martial artist as anyone could be.

“Babe?” You heard against your ear though, glancing back down to Peter. There was real relief even in the chaos as you saw him smile up at you.

He talked back against your ear in the noise as Kitty continued to utterly wreck the guys around you. “I fucked up a little, right? That gun...they already had it going, aimed at the door when I came back, a trap...I think I hit every stair on the way down...I still see like three of you right now.”

“Ditto.” You breathed.

And then there was another even louder noise as the remnants of a door also came flying down the stairs. Colossus barreled in behind it like a stampeding elephant, Deadpool right behind him as they leapt over the both of you and joined the fray.

“We found the basement!” Deadpool announced gleefully, swords swinging. “Don’t think they’d even locked the door back actually, but fuck if big Russki doesn’t love a dramatic entrance!”

For a moment you thought all your words about at least trying not to kill had been for nothing, thinking Deadpool was going to chop these men into literal pieces. But even as blood sprayed left and right, you realized he was just cutting tendons. The men then unable to hold their guns, unable to stand at all as he crippled each he reached in succession.

It was still completely horrific, but hell, how much could you really ask for from someone like him? Especially when you yourself had slammed that one man into a concrete wall as if he were a ragdoll. You glanced over anxiously for a moment, glad to see him shifting a little, but still crumpled exactly where you’d thrown him. He was alive, a small relief at least.

——————————

Obviously the other gunmen hadn’t had a prayer either though once you’d all been down there together.

Colossus already had a still cursing Giovanni slung over one shoulder as you were now helping Peter back up and trying not to step in all the blood as you all walked over to Kitty.

“What a mess...very interesting weapon though,” She spoke of that odd gun that’d been used on you and Peter, it now in her hands as she turned it one way and then another examining it. “I’m bringing this back with us. The police don’t need anything like this. Hank and I can figure out how it works. And how to defend against it hopefully before we run into another one of these out in the field.”

“It seems this Giovanni was more a threat than expected,” Colossus said, giving the still squirming man an unhappy look, before looking back to you all. “Are you alright, Peter?”

“I’m still hungry.” Peter grumbled, an arm over your shoulder to still help stabilize him as his other hand went to his head as if it were pounding. He also had some bruising starting on his face, no doubt from his tumble down the stairs. “I wouldn’t have drank so damn much if I’d known we weren’t going to eat...”

With the speed of his metabolism, that alcohol likely was hitting him pretty hard now on his already empty stomach.

“We should turn this guy over and get out of here.” You agreed. Though you didn’t feel so hot yourself. Still a little nauseous from whatever that weapon did to your senses. But at least you weren’t seeing triple of everything anymore.

“Hold it, girl scouts!” Deadpool piped up, chipper as ever as he grabbed something at Giovanni’s neck before any of you could think to stop him.

The man choked just a moment though, before a piece of metal snapped off into Wade’s hands. It was a necklace, with a symbol of some sort. You saw just a glimpse of it before Deadpool pocketed it. “No proof of finishing the job, no payday for DP. No payday, then no liquor, no coke, no hookers. Am I right?”

It was too difficult to tell when if ever he was serious, and you all chose to ignore his comment, starting back up the stairs. The odd sounds of bullet fragments falling back down the stairwell caught Peter’s attention though as he gave a grossed out look to Wade for a moment.

The now impact deformed bullets were starting to work themselves back out of all the bloody holes in Deadpool’s costume. You knew where you’d seen that before of course, but Peter was the only one that actually said it aloud.

“Damn, you and Logan would be a pair.”

There was a pause, and you could swear even with the mask, you thought you saw Wade’s cheekbones move in a way that signaled he was outright grinning from ear to ear. “At least someone gets it. He still won’t return my calls though. Such a diva lately.”

Once you did get to the top of the stairs, you only found a very agitated Russell standing there, Wade’s guns in his arms. “You took long enough, the cops are outside you know. I’m not going back to jail for you!”

“Cool your tater tots, kid.” Deadpool responded lazily, in no hurry, but grabbing the weapons back to holster them all regardless.

“I could have finished this faster! I would have fried their asses!” Russell argued.

“You would have been shot. Fire does not stop bullets.” Colossus only answered matter of factly.

Russell made a face, but Wade cut him off before he could say any more.

“Now now, listen to metal daddy. No sass. And actually, I think there’s something we should talk about, champ. X-Force is way more badass and all, but we don’t exactly have a training and junior member tier yet. Maybe later. You might want to think about riding home with these guys and checking their setup out. I don’t have any powers myself to relate to you like that, except me being very shootable, devastatingly charming, sexy, smart, and a competitive level Skee-Ball player...”

Deadpool sighed, continuing. “But these guys have a Danger Room. Which is totally not a sex dungeon, yeah I was bummed about that too. But they could let you unleash that school shooter level teenage angst and burn all the shit you wanted until you really figure out your powers.”

Russel bristled. “I’m not a school shooter you prick! And you always said the X-Men were neutered dweebs and-”

Wade coughed loudly, ushering Russell forward suddenly as you all continued to walk. “Hah, kids. Such darlings. Mishear everything don’t they?”

Colossus only answered without offense though. “The offer is still open, Russell. Though you have said no before. The Professor would never turn down a young mutant in need.”

It was Peter who surprised you a little, a smirk on his face as he contributed. “Freaking sweet house too, man. Xavier’s loaded. Big screen TV, a pool, basketball court, your own room, supersonic jet. Bunch of cute girls as well, or cute boys, you know whatever you’re into.”

“I’m not gay.” Russell huffed, but actually looked to be listening now as he didn’t immediately spit back with a sarcastic retort.

Though you gave Peter a weird look and he just grinned. “What? I stayed for you didn’t I, babe? Just saying. I wasn’t exactly on board with the whole team thing before that either. I know where he’s coming from is all.”

“It’s up to you, Russell.” Kitty said more diplomatically, before returning to the matter at hand. “We’re parked at that parking garage two blocks south. Everyone meet back there, Colossus and I will hand this guy over to the cops out front. The rest of you, I’m sure there’s got to be some emergency exit you can sneak out of. Probably better to split up actually. Less attention.”

—————————

Just as Kitty had suggested, Deadpool and Russell went out one way, and you and Peter another. You came out onto another street behind the restaurant. And you’d just finally started to relax again, Peter taking your hand in his own and walking away like an honest to God normal couple for once, just out on the town together before you noticed an oddly placed white van with distinct lettering on it.

Peter saw it too just as the light from a camera hit you both.

“Hell,” You breathed.

“Want to run?” He asked seriously.

“Too late, they’d just film us ditching, and say we had something to hide.”

Your headache was returning in full force you thought as you steeled yourself, seeing the reporter now in a full sprint towards you.

“It’s Quicksilver! And (your codename)! The X-Men are here!” A woman shouted.

As you walked closer to the news van, the camera flashes only increased. It looked like a small group of paparazzi had also camped out here, hoping for this exact result. How did word travel so damn fast?

“Marcia Fletcher, WAFN nightly news!” She introduced herself at once, her camera man there just as quickly, huffing a little from the run as he got you both in focus.

You could see the lights on on his camera as she shoved her microphone in front of you and Peter. “You’re on live coverage of the Ruffiano’s restaurant shootings with WAFN. Is it true that Giovani Marcello was apprehended here tonight by the X-Men? And how did you know he was here when he’s been on Interpol’s most wanted list for four years?”

You knew without looking at him that Peter was happily deferring the speaking role to you now as you tried not to look rattled. You attempted to think of what Charles would and wouldn’t want you to say, even with the pain in your head and lingering nausea. “We didn’t know who was here. We were in the area and saw people running and went to help, that’s all.” You lied.

“But the reports of gunshots, witnesses also said Deadpool had drawn a gun on a restaurant employee and Colossus was seen inside. Is Deadpool now affiliated with the X-Men again? Did he shoot anyone?”

“Deadpool is not affiliated with the X-Men. Colossus was here tonight, but he only would have been defending anyone he thought in danger. Deadpool did not shoot anyone.” You tried to keep to short truths that time.

“But then why was Deadpool there? Should people really believe it would be a coincidence that the X-Men and Deadpool would be at the same incidence at one time if not working together?”

“Well you’re here aren’t you? Are you affiliated with us?” You replied before you could stop yourself, though still restraining the annoyance you really wanted to put into that statement. “Trouble attracts a crowd.”

Peter made a sound, a restrained laugh you knew. But before the reporter could blurt out another question, one of the now growing number of paparazzi called out, “(Your codename), hey look here! Is it true you and Quicksilver are still dating!?”

You knew better than to be baited, humoring any of them just made it worse. They were like piranhas. But Peter couldn’t help it, turning to look as so many cameras flashed. His arm slid around you protectively. “Why wouldn’t we be, dude?” He called back.

“Are you saying the photos of (your codename) and Gambit were before you two reconciling?”

It took every ounce of your self control to not respond, but oh God did you want to. It was the mission in Tanzania. You knew it. You, Storm, and Gambit. Peter had stayed in the U.S. for that one as it’d been the holidays and his Mom had wanted both he and Wanda over for some time together.

After the mission was over, the three of you had ended up on one of the beautiful Tanzanian beaches for a single day. Just a single day to yourselves.

You’d had the audacity to wear a revealing bathing suit though and you and Remy had been photographed together, him shirtless of course because it was a goddamn beach. And laughing and smiling because, surprise, you were friends! And they’d cropped Ororo out in all the closeups for complete loss of context.

It’d been a thing in some of the tabloids for a while, but you really thought that had finally blown over. Of course if anyone asked Remy, he liked to play coy on the whole subject to keep up his God’s gift to all men and women sex symbol status.

“Peter, let’s just go,” You whispered in his ear, sure anything else said would only make things worse.

But you could read him all too well, and when he turned his face to look back at you, you already knew what he was going to do. You didn’t try to stop him, because never would you humiliate him on live television with any type of rejection, but oh, you would never live this one down. Never.

He kissed you hard. And there was nothing fake about it, honestly the kind of kiss usually reserved for your bedroom as you felt heat rising up in you. The camera flashes clicking over and over as you could still taste the alcohol he’d drank before.

When he finally released you again, you gasped a little. He gave the photographers a ‘fuck you’ look, before speaking just to you. “Now we can go.”

“Fly or run?” You breathed.

“Fly please. I’m still about half out of it.” He admitted.

You powered up to some surprised and excited sounds from the crowd. Your whole body glowing white again in the energy you emitted.

“Wait, aren’t you going to stay and talk to the police!?” The reporter shouted.

“They know where to find us if they need us.” You answered, extending your energy field around Peter, before you took off vertically, making sure to get sideways over the rooftops as soon as you could though to breakup their camera angles and finally give you privacy again at last.

You landed gently atop the parking garage only a few moments later, letting him go again as you powered back down.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked, just taking your hand again though.

“No.” You said truthfully. “But, I have no idea what we’ve really just done. We still have to go home...home where the Professor always watches the 10:00 news with his late night tea.”

Peter sighed, only half joking. “We could always go stay with my Mom for a while?”

You just moved in closer, pulling him against you as you laid your head on his shoulder. “We’ll survive, babe. Somehow we always do.”

“I think that says more about you than me though. Pretty sure I’d be face down in a ditch somewhere already if it weren’t for you.”

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck then before raising your head back up to kiss him once more. Much softer this time, and even longer than his jealous little display a few minutes ago.

He made one of his little noises of contentment, hands sliding down to squeeze your butt through the thin pants you were wearing. As he pulled your hips tighter against him, he broke the kiss enough to speak regretfully. “I really was hoping to get lucky tonight...”

“Same.” You smiled. It had been a while. Mostly from you both being so tired by the time you finally got in bed. Passing out on each other had more been the norm the past couple weeks. “We get some food in you, and see where things go?”

“Gross! Get a room!”

You startled at the sudden shouting, having wholly thought yourselves alone up here in the moonlight.

Peter rolled his eyes, yelling back at Russell, “Kid, we have one! And we’d already be back there by now if it wasn’t for your little mafia hunting shenanigans!”

You looked over to see Deadpool and Russell both standing in the doorway to the parking garage stairs.

Wade whistled, leaning back against the doorframe. “Way to take down that Marcia Fletcher a notch! I always found her too uppity to be honest. I think she’s still butt hurt that they didn’t give her the lead anchor spot when Carl Sanderson moved to the early bird morning show. Tanya Meyer on the 5:00 news though, that’s my girl.”

You blinked. “How...how do you know-” It was literally minutes ago, it would have taken them just this long to walk here.

Deadpool lifted up his cell phone. “Facebook live, bitches. Don’t you follow WAFN? The recipes they post from Saturday morning cooking with Pat are always delish.” He looked back down at the phone though, happily reading. “Hah! Peggy Fredrickson from Brewster, New York thinks Marcia’s contouring and drawn on eyebrows are getting worse. Fire your makeup person, Marcia.” He tapped something on the screen. “Like comment! Oh, and Michael Morris from Ridgefield says who wouldn’t do Remy LeBeau. Damn, Michael, all out and proud on main.”

Peter let go of you, taking an annoyed breath. But then looking back to you. “Please let me at least prank Remy, something, anything.”

“But he didn’t do anything.” You replied, though only more stressed now that this was already blowing up on social media.

“Exactly! He should have at least denied it! But no, Mr. cool Cajun can’t admit that you’d actually choose me over him.”

“Hey now, I think you’re looking at this the wrong way, Quickie.” Deadpool interjected. “There’s always the ménage à trois option. I mean he’s French right? And Michael from Ridgefield is just spitting truth. Who wouldn’t want to do Remy LeBeau? He could shuffle my cards anytime.”

“You guys are so fucking weird.” Russell groaned. “Can we go find your damn car now?”

But you didn’t move yet, still looking fully at Peter. “Wade’s just trying to get under your skin. We all know how Remy is. He’d flirt with a piece of cardboard if it suited him. It doesn’t mean anything to him.” You recognized that Gambit was physically attractive of course, you had eyes too after all. But that was the only extent of it. You loved Peter. Not to mention you wouldn’t at all want to get on Rogue’s bad side. She and Gambit were tumultuous enough without someone else being added to the mix.

“This is adorable, really. But I did bring ‘good job team for sending a little girl selling, gentrification funding, pencil dick mob boss to butt fucking federal prison’ cannolis. Want some?” Deadpool offered, lifting up a large takeout box you somehow hadn’t noticed before.

Peter’s shoulders dropped a little, still heavily annoyed though eyeing the box. “So does this mean you’re coming back with us too?”

Wade shrugged, “The kid doesn’t know you guys. What kind of daddy would I be if I didn’t at least go and make sure he actually wanted to stay in your little mutant commune before I ditch him there?”

“You aren’t my damned dad.” Russell said, though almost sounding too tired to argue further at this point. He reached up, taking a cannoli from the box and biting into it as he started to walk back down the stairwell. “What floor is the car on?”

“Just one down from here, you already passed it. Black SUV,” you answered. Colossus and Kitty must not have been here yet if Wade and Russell had made it all the way to the top deck without finding them.

Peter grabbed your hand again, walking with you to the doorway as he grabbed three cannolis out the box begrudgingly with his other hand. He passed one off to you, before biting into the other two in quick succession.

And you only had a moment to see all the thick scarring under Wade’s mask as he lifted it just enough to start eating one himself, before turning to follow you both out and down the stairwell.

———————————

(Concluded in Part 2 here)

[medea10]

My Review of Dorohedoro

How did I get into this anime? I swear to God, 2020 was weird in every section and with an anime like this, Dorohedoro was made for that fucked up year. I heard the name and immediately thought to myself if Dororo got a weird-ass spin-off or if someone at Netflix is smoking moonrocks.

Let me try to get through this synopsis without getting a headache. So there’s this lizard man named Kaiman. He has the head of a lizard and chomps down on its victim’s heads looking for “the one”. The victim then sees a mysterious human inside Kaiman. And usually the end results of these outcomes are either the victim dies or have their face ripped right off her. Kaiman is assisted by a young girl named by Nikaidou. Her job is to assist Kaiman in finding the person who changed him and give him food and booze. They live in this place called “The Hole”. It’s a gringy, dirty-ass district where the citizens are often test subjects for magic users.

And one of the most powerful of them is simply known as En. He’s kind of the mafia boss of these magic users and has these people like Noi, Shin, Fujita, and Ebisu go on certain missions to experiment on people in the hole or to take out people that are a threat to them. And to describe these people I just mentioned….How can I really? En is a freaky-looking fella that can make mushrooms! Shin is a straight-laced man in black who is partners with Noi, a thick (and I do mean THICC) chick! And then there’s Fujita with the ever-so eccentric Ebisu!

I’ll get to Ebisu later!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: This here is a Netflix exclusive, so enjoy all the languages this anime has to offer. I personally stuck with the English version. My fortunate ears got to hear Aleks Le and Screamy McYellsALot in the main cast.

Fortune or curse? Actually, this is the first time I’m hearing Aleks Le in a role where he wasn’t a simp or…Zenitsu. Gotta say, I’m fine by this. And then good old Bryce Papenbrook…Not as screamy this time. But stand-out was definitely Christina Vee as Ebisu. In fact, Ebisu is like the best character! Anyways, here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kaiman is played by Wataru Takagi (known for Tobi/Obito on Naruto, Ganju on Bleach, Genta & Wataru on Detective Conan, and Koshi Ridou on Excel Saga)

*Nikaidou is played by Reina Kondou (known for Ronie on SAO: Alicization)

*En is played by Kenyuu Horiuchi (known for Prof. Oak on Pokemon 2017+, Wilhelm on Re:Zero, Pain on Naruto Shippuden, and Mako’s father on Kill la Kill)

*Shin is played by Yoshimasa Hosoya (known for Reiner on Attack on Titan, Otabek on Yuri on Ice, Sousuke on Free!, Shichika on Katanagatari, and Arthur on Banana Fish)

*Noi is played by Yuu Kobayashi (known for Sasha on Attack on Titan, Ayame on Gintama, Satoshi on Higurashi, Charlotte on Black Clover, Ruka on Steins;Gate, Kanon on Umineko, and Nice on Baccano)

*Fujita is played by Kengo Takanashi

*Ebisu is played by Miyu Tomita (known for Riko on Made in Abyss, Crim on Interspecies Reviewers, Miko on Kaguya-sama, Michael on Banana Fish, and Kouzaku on Railgun T)

ENGLISH CAST: *Kaiman is played by Aleks Le (known for Zenitsu on Demon Slayer, Hisui on Yashahime, Ake on Shield Hero, and Kazuya on Rent-A-Girlfriend)

*Nikaidou is played by Reba Buhr (known for Cattleya on Violet Evergarden, Legom on Beastars, Aoi on Demon Slayer, and LLENN on SAO: GGO)

*En is played by Keith Silverstein (known for Johan on Monster, Dr. Tomoe on Sailor Moon S [redub], Tanaka on Durarara, Killer Bee on Naruto, and Asuna’s father on SAO)

*Shin is played by Sean Chiplock (known for Subaru on Re:Zero and Choromatsu on Mr. Osomatsu)

*Noi is played by Cherami Leigh (known for Chloe on Pokemon Journeys, Asuna on SAO, Minako/Venus on Sailor Moon [redub], Uiharu on Railgun/Index, Sarada on Boruto, Lucy on Fairy Tail, and Lizzie on Black Butler)

*Fujita is played by Bryce Papenbrook (known for Red on Pokemon Origins, Eren on Attack on Titan, Inosuke on Demon Slayer, Rin on Blue Exorcist, Shirou on Fate/stay night: UBW, Kirito on SAO, and Kida on Durarara)

*Ebisu is played by Christina Vee (known for Rei/Sailor Mars on Sailor Moon [redub], Homura on Madoka Magica, Mio on K-ON, Sakura on Fate/Zero, Darkness on Konosuba, Kotori on Love Live, and Louise on Familiar of Zero)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: I know a lot of the characters are really colorful in a dingy environment. It does seem hard to choose the best character. I mean you’ve got Noi, Shin, Nikaidou, Kaiman…

But the clear winner is Ebisu!

Yeah, no one beats out the randomness that Ebisu brings. Not the androgynous guy that annoys En, not the cockroach that wears sneakers, not the old doctor that looks like a slumdog millionaire, not Kaiman, not anybody! And it’s so hard to choose the best moments of Ebisu. Ebisu dancing in the shark costume, Ebisu with fake breasts, all the random lines Ebisu speaks of, she’s the best!

Although the fake boobs was a bit much, even for her.

SHIPPING: I think the two notable ships go to Shin x Noi and Kaiman x Nikaidou.

I’ll talk about Shin x Noi first. These guys are total partners in crime with quite the healthy appetite. One notable moment I think we all would mention was when Noi was being consumed by some very unstable black powder that belongs to Ebisu, En’s acquaintance had to get some things from Shin because apparently he’s someone Noi cares very much for. And one of the things Shin had to do was think of a special moment the two shared. Maybe I’m reading too much into that one moment due to the fact that neither of them ever said sweet nothings to each other.

And then we got Kaiman and Nikadou. Kaiman has a love for Nikaidou’s food, particularly the gyoza. If Kaiman sees someone talk to Nikaidou (particularly men), Kaiman would get angry. But I think Kaiman is really in love with her food instead of her as the person. But he cares enough for Nikaidou if she’s in trouble, he’ll help her out. For now, they’re just friends. JUST friends!

…

Okay, and that one scene where Ebisu chooses Fujita to be partners with was pretty cute.

OVA: There are six short episodes available to watch on Netflix as well. These are just side-stories featuring many different stories. We do get a few good ones including Nikaidou obtaining the shop and the day Kaiman was introduced to gyoza. Me, I’m always entertained when Ebisu is involved in some kooky way.

And then we get weird ones involving the Gyoza fairy.

Because of course!

ENDING: Well…let’s get through this enigmatic brain-fart.

We learn quite a bit each episode involving the mystery around Kaiman and many of the other colorful characters. Most notably is that Nikaidou is living in the hole despite being a magic user. But Kaiman seems to be cool with her and I don’t think he even really brings it up, so that made her worry all for naught. Then you have that gentleman that’s been inside of Kaiman’s mouth since the beginning of the series. After being recreated by En’s mushroom magic, Risu made some discoveries including that he’s really dead, he was betrayed by someone close to him, and that Ebisu’s magic had something to do with it all.

Kaiman ends up leaving his home in the hole without a word to anyone and goes to the world of the magic users to get some answers. But Kaiman ends up there during a four-day festival known as the Blue Night. Thankfully, Kaiman really didn’t do that much damage when there for the festival. It wasn’t until after the festival that En made his move. He has been saving himself for a special person with special magic to become his partner.

And he has set his sights on Nikaidou. So he kidnaps her and her friends from the hole, imprisons them, and forces Nikaidou into a contract where they both literally swap pieces of flesh from their body. With that, Nikaidou is under En’s control and will do as he says. Thankfully, Nikaidou’s friends that were imprisoned by En were saved by En’s comrade Shin due to knowing him. So we don’t have to worry about them! As for Kaiman, he ran into Nikaidou and things didn’t go well.

Nikaidou says she won’t return to the hole with Kaiman and he was ready to take her by force, which resulted in Nikaidou fighting back. Nikaidou ends up back to her senses after a mysterious person stabs her and a jealous acquaintance of En’s came upon Nikaidou’s near-death body to take her contract that was inside her. Once Nikaidou was feeling better, she went to find Kaiman, but Kaiman was very defiant of her.

Yeah, it seemed like Kaiman’s been keeping quiet about his feelings over Nikaidou being a magic user until now. He even goes as far as to chomping down on her head to see what the man inside Kaiman says. Naturally, “she is not the one”, but Nikaidou recognizes the man as Risu. Nikaidou and Kaiman end up together in hiding from En’s men. She explained that she has a rare kind of magic that caused the death of a friend and so Nikaidou swore off doing magic and went to the hole to try and be like a human. She swears to stay friends with Kaiman and never use her magic again.

So Kaiman and Nikaidou are hiding out. And En is with a fake Nikaidou that’s really a flamboyant guy that really loves En.

The rest is hidden in chaos. And that is Dorohedoro!

Okay, you cannot leave us hanging like that. We gotta get a second season to this! How the hell does Nikaidou know about Risu? Is En going to eventually catch up to Nikaidou and Kaiman? This story is so hard to describe that you just have to watch it yourself. It is bat-crap crazy and great at the same time. It’s gory, gritty, but…no it’s just gory and gritty. But it’s still awesome! And when I mean it’s gory, there are body parts that are chopped up and the dude is still talking. People do die too! So, I can’t recommend it to people with weak stomachs. I gotta give credit to the creator, artists, background designers, everyone in those departments. These were out of the world designs and characters.

But seriously, can we please get a second season to this? This is just the beginning! Right?! That’s what it says at the beginning of each episode during the opening sequence. That means that there’s a butt-load more material that we don’t know of yet. God, all good things leave me in such suspense!

If you would like to watch Dorohedoro, all 12 episodes and the OVA shorts are available to watch on Netflix.

Okay, let’s pick another anime! Netflix, Amazon, or Crunchyroll! Let’s hit it.

Laid-Back Camp. I’ve heard good things about it and season two just ended. Okay!

[doubleddenden]

So I beat the main story section of Crown Tundra. All in all it was a fun time. There's still legendaries to hunt in and out of dynamax adventures too.

But for now, this was my team for the most part.

Raven the Corviknight: coming back to lead the pack is my beloved bird friend. A true diamond from the turd pile that was basic SwSh. Raven was maxed out at level 100, so I initially thought I would have to make the heart breaking decision to box it. But turns out the Crown Tundra is swarming with strong Pokemon (stronger than IoA) and you can get OVERWHELMED if you aren't careful. So, I got to bring by baby with me as backup.

Dankey Kang the Rillaboom. My first pokemon in SwSh and he's been with me the longest technically. He and Raven were also in my Isle of Armor team. I initially planned to replace him with something else but things... came up.

Bappy Panchr the Grapploct: she came in clutch for me as a last minute 7th gym addition in it's cute and adorable Clobbopus phase. Then it evolved and while I'm not pleased with its mouth, she's come in clutch in the Crown Tundra. She didn't play a huge role in the main part of the story, but for regi and bird hunting she was CLUTCH.

Katapuldra/Dragapult: a German Dragapult I got allll the way before gym 1 in a suprise trade. She was slow to evolve and unfortunately I needed someone stronger for the league, which is where Bappy came in. Kata's seen some action since then after evolving, but good LORD I needed her help so bad in part of the story. She helped me so much with the wild Hydreigon and Tyrantrum and other monsters that kept attacking while I hunted for footprints.

Levi (Leh-vee) the Swampert: so, I reserved two spots on my IoA run for new transferable Pokemon, and Swampert was in. I think its probably my fav of the gen 3 starters, so I brought in my starter from Omega Ruby. It's been a long time since we've had an adventure together. I miss him being able to Mega Evolve, but I missed him in general just a smidge more and brought him in. He was a huge help hunting for the legendaries and the All Star tournament.

Pyro the Magmortar: This was my Magmortar from alllll the way back in Black 2. It's been nearly a decade since we've gone on an adventure in something other than league challenges. Ironically enough he wasn't really that strong back then, but I affectionately kept him because he reminds me of the dopey but loveable right hand man to a mafia boss type. Fast forward to Crown Tundra and fix a move, and HOLY SHIT my boy got strong. I forgot I had him training in the Isle of Beans in Alola for a while. He's back and I'm very happy to see my boy better than ever.

And Calyrex. I won't go into spoilers here, but there's some interesting details here that I've noticed. He'sa fun one to use in battles though.

Also some additional pics. I got this sick new outfit and shades that make me look like an even bigger douche than I normally do. I love it.

So, how would I rate CT? Well, if IoA and CT are $30 together, IoA and CT would be $15 apiece. IoA felt like I got about $10 out of my $15. CT so far feels worth the $15. This may change as time passes.

I was actually going to decide whether to put down Pokemon for good after SwSh did me so dirty. IoA was better but hit or miss. Crown Tundra was basically going to be my last chance for the series due to all the shittu business practices and direction choices happening. CT's director Tani actually gave me hope for the series going forward. Just don't fuck up again. Just don't. I'll give it another chance just because CT has wowed me so much.

Anyway, CT gets a 4/5, whereas IoA gets like a 3.5 and base SwSh gets a 2. It doesn't quite save gen 8 but it does at least give me a faint glimmer of hope for the main series games.

Unite can go burn in a trash fire though

[squidprinceofwinterfell]

Stick of Truth Commentary

Intro

Intro cut scene is a nice touch! The animation is nice, and it adds story and stakes to the game the boys are playing. Reminds me of “Lord of the Rings.”

I like how the boys see the stick as a golden staff, but it’s literally just…a stick.

Create your character

Fighter, Mage, Thief, Jew – which is the best and why?

Intro to New Kid and family

Dialogue between parents creates an ominous backstory. Who is looking for New Kid and why?

New Kid is a mute weirdo and I love it.

The first quest (making friends) reminds me of “The Sandlot.”

The shitting feature is awesome.

New Kid meets Butters and is brought to KKK

What exactly is the power of diabetes?

Chekov’s Clyde!

It’s cute how cool everyone is with Princess Kenny.

I like that every player is called Douchebag, but I wish every player didn’t have to play as a boy.

Elves attack

Funny how Cartman’s alarm is just Butters yelling “Alarm!”

Cartman has pretty good commentary when New Kid is fighting. I actually miss that later on.

How did the elves snag the stick? Either Clyde is a bad watchdog or Kyle is super strategic. I choose both.

New Kid must find Token, Tweek, and Craig

Token

I never knew Token was so rich that he had security! It’s probably to keep Cartman out.

I love that Token’s property is calling Dark Meadows.

Token: “The elves took the stick again?” Haha!

Tweek

Tweek is the only employee at Tweek Bros.? That’s called child labor!

I love that Mrs. McCormick thinks the meth heads in her garage are just nice renters. Is she being paid in meth?

Why would a 10-year-old boy be an undercover cop? Only in South Park.

Tweek was totally named after the word “tweeker.”

Craig

Craig is in detention for (of course) flipping off the principal. Is Principal Victoria still principal at this point?

Craig’s alias is Feldspar the Thief? I refuse to believe this isn’t a reference to Malcolm in the Middle.

On the “thief” option at the beginning, Cartman says he’s never seen a white thief before, yet Craig is a thief. Hmm…

“Heeeere they come…I’ll be outta here in ten minutes.” Smug, snarky Craig is the best Craig.

I like that Mackey seems to know he’s in a video game (by referencing the boss fight). It’s very Deadpool.

The Bard

The Inn of the Giggling Donkey is just Jimmy’s house. His living room is convincing as a bar/lounge/hangout.

Twitter = carrier raven

“There once was a maiden from Stonebury Hollow / She didn’t talk much, but boy did she swallow / I had a nice lance that she sat upon / The maiden from Stonebury who was also your mom.” I love Jimmy’s songs!

Butters: “No hurry, Douchebag. The princess is just being raped.” OMG

An elf was jumping on the bed to simulate raping Princess Kenny? The boys are really committed to this game.

Cartman: “Good job, Princess Gone Wild. Double D buddy powers.” Kenny flashing his man boobs is the best distraction tactic.

The Brown Note is Jimmy’s best attack.

“Welcome to the KKK!”

Alien abduction

Cartman’s fart lessons finally come in handy! New Kid’s ass is too strong to be probed.

I love that alien abduction is viewed as just another annoying part of living in South Park.

The guy from the recordings is the hobo hidden onboard, right?

The Nazi zombie hobo is the game’s first instance of the Nazi zombie plot. It tells us that the aliens are responsible for this when the ship crash lands to Earth and green goo gets in the sewer.

New Kid crashed an entire spaceship. He’s kind of a badass. And he gets to keep the alien probe!

The big bad government is involved now to deal with “another UFO crash.” How often does this happen??

Only South Park would try to pass off a UFO as construction of a Taco Bell. And only South Park citizens would believe it.

Recruitment (pt. 1)

All New Kid has to do to get the goth kids to join is put on black clothes. I’m glad to see they still have low standards.

New Kid finally meets Stan and Kyle! I’ve been waiting for this.

According to Kyle, Cartman lied about the stick being stolen and is hiding it. According to Cartman, Kyle is lying because New Kid can’t retrieve the stick if Kyle claims he doesn’t have it. It’s a game of “he said, she said” but I’m inclined to believe Kyle. This is Cartman we’re talking about…

PTA meeting

I’m disappointed no one yelled “Rabble, rabble!” at the PTA meeting.

Is no one else alarmed that Randy lured a young boy into the bathroom alone?

“That’s all you’ve got is a sign? At least crap on a desk or something!” Mr. Garrison is speaking highly of Cartman, I see.

She-Ogre

“Give me back my iPhone, DEMON!” This is an accurate depiction of a brother-sister relationship.

It’s adorable that Stan uses Sparky in battle.

Taco Bell

I love that the big bad government agents are such bad liars that they killed a guy asking about encharidos.

“Goddamn it! I’m so tired of Nazi zombies. It’s so…overused!” Haha!

I’m surprised the adults actually took the bombing threat seriously and weren’t bummed about no Taco Bell.

Recruitment (pt. 2)

The final goth test is DDR?? That’s so conformist.

Once you win the goth kids over, you can recruit them to either Cartman’s side or Kyle’s. I always pick Kyle’s side when I play this. I’ve been itching to betray Cartman since this game started!

South Park Elementary

The huge battle scene takes place at the school because it’s where Cartman supposedly hid the stick. South Park Elementary is busted and makes a great setting for a battle scene. More “Lord of the Rings” vibes!

New Kid’s farts help Kyle’s side get the upper hand. Take that, Cartman!

Another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: New Kid’s battle against Butters is more impactful because he was New Kid’s first friend. If it was a face off against Stan, it wouldn’t be as emotional.

The final battle gives New Kid one last chance to pick a side. Like Stan says, “I can’t believe this is even a choice.” Kyle vs Cartman is like Chanel vs Walmart.

Yet another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: Cartman’s farting fire at the end of this fight is one of the best scenes of the whole game.

Clyde

I love the twist where neither Kyle nor Cartman was lying. Clyde really punked the fuck out of everyone.

Kyle is the only one to acknowledge he’s aware of the green goo and how dangerous it is.

Stan: “Clyde, but why?” Cartman: “I banished him to be lost in space and time and now he’s all pissed off.” Haha!

Clyde’s fortress is so badass. I can see the appeal of the dark side.

How the hell does Clyde have control over the Nazi zombies??

I love that Clyde’s power move is keeping his friends out past their bedtimes. The stakes are higher now, but this reminds us this is still a kid’s game…or it started as one.

Underpants gnomes

Gnomes: “The kid is awake! What do we do?” “Oh, fuck, I guess we gotta kill him!” Me problem solving.

Since when do underpants gnomes have warlocks?? I thought they were all failed businessmen.

For some reason, high pitched gnome voices yelling “Oh, fuck!” is really funny to me.

New Kid fighting underneath his giant parents mid-coitus is another iconic fight scene. How many times must New Kid dodge his dad’s ballsack?? The kid is hardcore.

The girls

Kyle convinces everyone to team up against Clyde. I’m continually impressed by Kyle because of his leadership, intellect (he spent all night researching), and open mind (he doesn’t balk at teaming up with the humans or inviting girls to play). I’m totally Team Kyle, if you haven’t noticed.

I love that the girls blindfold New Kid when they bring him to their lair. That’s some Mafia shit.

Annie: “He…doesn’t really talk.” Bebe: “That’s hot!” ME

Sunshine, sparkle, glitter…I wanna talk like this all the time.

Heidi Turner was the two-faced bitch! That’s very Mrs. Cartman of her.

Abortion clinic

New Kid’s abortion doctor is named Dr. Poonlover because of course he is

The big bad government is doing Plan B at the abortion clinic. Clever joke!

Where did Randy get that blonde wig from?? The men in South Park cross-dress so much.

Khloe Kardashian’s aborted fetus as a Nazi zombie is also a legendary fight.

Canada

New Kid didn’t get that his photographer was a pedophile even when he was almost butt naked?? Also, who was that guy who jumps out from behind the boxes?

The layout of Canada is clearly a parody of Pokemon games, right? Either way, I love it. The shitty jpeg videogame look is very Canada.

“They’re like wolves, but they’re dire.”

Getting trained by Terrance and Phillip makes all this back and forth bullshit worth it.

Clyde’s fortress

Of course Cartman butts in when Kyle’s trying to give an inspirational speech. What an attention hog!

It’s funny to me how easily Craig switched to Clyde’s side. Loyalty much??

“I really found myself relating to Clyde’s views about darkness and enslaving the world.” Jesus, Craig!

Cartman’s negative reaction to electricity is a callback to the chip put in his head in Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

“It’s my favorite kid!” WOW, RANDY

“Who could it be?” I love how long New Kid lets them all wonder before he steps up.

Stan: “Dude, that’s not Taco Bell sauce.” Clyde: “Then why’d I find it at the Taco Bell?” A+ logic

How dare you, Clyde! Let Chef rest in peace!

Government interruption

“Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok…” Vampires exist in this universe??

I love that the boys don’t care about the big bad government’s scheme.

So New Kid’s special power is making friends on social media! I should’ve known.

Princess Kenny’s betrayal

Princess Kenny planned to steal the stick all along! This game is full of betrayals.

Kenny makes a pretty cute anime princess. Nazi zombie? Not so much.

Princess Kenny is a badass final boss. And I never saw it coming!

I’m glad the “never fart on someone’s balls” joke meant something in the end. I can see why it was banned – it’s super deadly!

End

The boys unite to save friendship and love…by chucking a stick into a lake.

New Kid stole Cartman’s catchphrase!

Why did Al Gore appear so ominously at the end?? What are you gonna do to the kids, Al Gore??

[violencebred]

hello everyone! i’m ana and i’ll be writing ELLA // #0043536. i am so pumped to get to interact with everyone’s characters !! i already love them, i want them to be happy and safe & live their best life !! i’ll be hitting everyone for plots, but in the meantime, you can find some bullet points about ella. in the words of the wise shane madej -- ROCK ‘N ROLL, BUCKAROO !!

SOME BASICS ! 

   + ) her app can be found here 

   + ) pinterest board

   + ) musings tag 

BACKSTORY ! 

trigger warnings for mafia mentions, death, violence, arranged marriage, sexism

    + ) ella was born in new york, to a very wealthy family ( the abruzzos ). her father began extending his criminal record during his youth, and with his cousin already involved with them, he was eventually recruited into the genovese crime family.  her mother was an aspiring novelist, and she married not favoring such a turbulent, violence-ridden lifestyle yet still enduring through it out of need and fear of being tracked down.

    + ) slowly but steadily, her father rose through the ranks -- all this time, he had had his eyes on the top prize, the position of boss, but was well aware it’d take effort and strategy to acquire it. her mother, on the other hand, passed away from poor health when ella was a tween. 

   + ) when ella was born, her birth wasn’t 100% well-received. sure, being the firstborn prompted celebration and cheer on behalf of her family, but given that hadn’t been born the son her dad had hoped for, her prospects would be limited.

   + ) since she was young, she had it instilled in her that she had to be gregarious, polite and charming. she was to be well-versed and eloquent, and all-together blossom into a dazzling young woman. this would ensure she would make for a very attractive pair for suitors.

   + ) yup, that’s right, folks! her family paraded her like a very nice doll, hoping to marry her off to the son of another wealthy figure in another mob family. this would then bring fortune, wealth and stability to the clan. 

   + ) ella then ran away before she was to marry, stealing nectar and ambrosia ( possessions treasured by the gods ) hoping to sell them and make a living for herself somewhere else. the plan failed, and she was left empty-handed, desolate and cursed. 

CURSE INFORMATION ! 

   + ) ella’s curse is a high-danger love kind. her curse entails that everyone she loves BUT leaves behind ( which she did often, given she had to constantly run away to a new location to avoid being found by the capos ) would develop a kind of madness. this would become so excruciating that they’d resort to taking their own lives. 

  + ) this, as you may realize, is kind of a snarky way the gods opted for to remind her that once a traitor, always a traitor. she’d leave behind a trail of corpses from that moment onwards for having even so much as dared fleeing ( helen of troy... trojan war... !! ) it also meant to isolate her, taking out those close to her and leaving her only with her enemies.

   + ) for the curse to work, the relationship between her and person b has to be mutual / reciprocated. if only one of them has positive feelings for the other, then they’re spared. if they have a negative relationship, they’re safe too. 

   + ) the degree of closeness also influences it -- the closer she is to someone ( and said feelings are reciprocated ) the more violent, slow and agonizing the other person’s death will be. and so forth. 

  + ) if you’d like a visual approach to it, i think the church scene from kingsman fits very well ! ( i linked the clip ; obviously, trigger warnings for death, murder, blood, violence & guns ) 

OTHER STUFF ! 

  + ) onto a brighter note! she’s probably the biggest spice girls / britney spears / madonna fan 

  + ) she loathes horror movies, just because -- though she was raised not to fear the sight of blood or any form of injury -- that sense of gore has become much more real because of the curse. she prefers romcoms and old age hollywood films a lot more.

  + ) ambidextrous queen

  + ) personality-wise, she’s a very eloquent yet soft-spoken person ( hey, she wants to treat others well as a way to compensate for all the destruction she causes ). at the same time, she sometimes relies on like, familiar cues and tricks to come off as pleasant but because she is so afraid of hurting others, she’ll stop herself every now and then. because of this, she skips shallow politeness and can be super blunt. not forming those solid bonds is the best way to spare others -- hey, if they hate her BUT get to stay alive, she’ll take that. deep down, she really treasures people and loves company and will have her feelings on people very clear, but will actively avoid them from truly manifesting for the aforementioned reason. 

  + ) she probably has a lot of talents and skills thanks to her upbringing -- she can play the violin, the harp and the guitar. she can also speak italian, english, spanish and german. 

  + ) doesn’t know what the fuck pokemon is 

  + ) if you’d make her try to copy a tiktok dance she’d probs fail too

  + ) you bet she listens to like, synth-pop italian music that no one else knows ( ryan paris’ “dolce vita” or franco battiato’s “centro di gravitá permanente”, for reference )

[westanabadguy]

Rating/Giving my Opinion on Every Single Naruto Character part 2/???

Ok, so the last post didn’t get much traction but I’ve already committed and I’ll see this through to the end or die trying.

After the absolute nightmare that part 1 was, here’s hoping the other letters are not so full to the brim with random ass filler characters. The letter A doesn’t even look real to me anymore.

Let’s just hope right into it

The B’s

Baiu: “ Stingy, sad, gloomy and ungrateful.” is what the wiki has to say about him. Gaara killed a lot of innocent people who didn’t deserve it, but this man is an exception. Also, he has no pupils. 0/10

Baji: Seems like an asshole. Also, his power is gimmick-y. All he can do is make people mute. 1/10.

Baki: What a respectful dude. What a guy. Good man, with a good design. He def respects women. 7/10.

Baku: I know this abomination is based off Japanese folklore but it’s still an atrocity and I wish I hadn’t been exposed to it. -100/10. Also, Danzo’s summon, so not only is it ugly it’s also just yucky.

Baku (Anbu): Why is this dude important enough to get a wiki page? Idk like, 1/10 I guess?

Bakuto: An absolute sweetheart. What a bro. 5/10.

Bando: He looks like a pokemon gym leader lmao. And he has a chakra CANNON? I love this man. Unfortunately, apparently he’s an asshole. 5/10 just for his design.

Bandō: Like Bando, but with a fancy o. He’s literally just a dollar store Kakuzu, and worst of all he uses an ABISCUS. 0/10. No.

Banna: An absolute sweetheart, he’d normally get a higher rating. HOWEVER he committed Identity Theft and for that, I cannot stan. 3/10.

Bansai: Apparently the head monk of the Fire Temple that got rekt in the Akatsuki Suppression arc. Kind old dude, feel bad for him. 6/10.

Baraki: The wiki has a full 4 sentences on this dude. 0/10.

Baru Uchiha: Lmao dude killed one of his family members for power, and then was immediately killed by his other family members 2 seconds later. 1/10.

Beekeeper: Just a kind person in a bee suit vibing in a magical forest. Can’t diss that tbh. 5/10.

Bekkō: An asshole with a bad design. Bitch looking like a mafia boss from black and white movies. 0/10.

Benga: EW. -10000/10.

Benten: Dude looks like a lady. Another asshole, but he does respect women kinda sorta. He’ll beat them up... but he’ll beat them up not quite as bad? Good enough I guess. 4/10.

Bird-Masked Anbu Member: Another random ANBU member. 0/10.

Bisuke: DOG. 10000/10. Good boi.

Biwako Sarutobi: Sarutobi’s wife, and sarutobi is trash so normally I’d give her a low rating HOWEVER she was the reason we got the cute Hashirama flower scene so 3/10.

Black Shadow: Edgy. 1/10.

Black Zetsu: Zetsu has suddenly gained some popularity nowadays, but I still hate the Zetsu plot twist so 2/10.

Blue B: Literally looks like a KISS member with colored makeup. A failed jinchūriki, so I guess he’s kinda interesting. 2/10.

Boar-Masked Anbu Member: 2nd verse, same as the first. 0/10.

Boro: Boruto character, ugly, and a dick. 0/10.

Boruto Uzumaki: Boruto character. Nah, but of the little I’ve seen of him from the little I’ve read, I remember not really liking him, but at the same time Naruto’s a horrible father so can’t blame him for being a brat. 5/10.

Boxing Kangaroos: Boxing. Kangaroos. BOXING KANGAROOS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 100000/10.

Breeze Dancer: She’s literally just dollar store Temari. 2/10.

Bull: Another dog. Another good boi. 1000/10.

Buna: Imagine Naruto, but ugly and his entire personality is gardening. 0/10.

Bunpuku: Another really sweet old man who got screwed over. 10/10.

Buntan Kurosuki: Bitch said “Ew, peace? Yucky”. 0/10.

Bunzō: Meh. 0/10.

Burami: DISGUSTING. -1000/10.

Buriko Nekoka: All she did was be a background character so I guess... 0/10?

Butsuma Senju: Hit his son for suggesting they maybe didn’t send kids to war. -10000/10.

Byakuren: I can’t figure out if he is cross eyed or the animators just fucked him over. Another minor filler character, so idk 1/10?

I was gonna do the C’s here, but ugh I’m tired. I’ll try and do both the C’s and D’s next time.

[cherrybloodkei]

Some time ago I made relationship headcanons for my favs (and my friend's too) and I've kept them in my notes and never would I have thought to post them but here I am doing this for.... idk man I just want to force myself to post more of my own stuff on there. Here y'all go, tell me what you think and don't be shy to share your own headcanons!!!!

Poke villains sfw boyfriends edition

Giovanni

First date would be the very stereotyped Italian restaurant because come on, what else for a mafia boss? As a boyfriend ADORE public display of affection. He makes sure everyone around you two knows you're HIS and his only. In private, you two watch angsty romantic movies and cuddle with luxury wine. You get to go out at least once a week, the day being different each time. He wants it to be a surprise every time and make you fall in love with him over again every time you two go out, whatever it is that you'll be doing.

Proton

Your first date together would be at a parc d'attraction! You'd especially do all the skills games and every time you fail one, he'd do it for you and win you all the price (he won't let you know he practiced for weeks before the date). He doesn't like to show his loving side but if some other person tried to flirt with you, he'll get really aggressive. Maybe threaten them with a knife. If you try to calm him down, he'll get the hint that he's making you uncomfortable and will resort to making out with you in front of them while glaring at them. In private, he always tries to have physical contact. Either it be petting your head, holding hands or groping your ass, he looks for physical comfort. He doesn't plan dates that often so if you wanna go out you gotta tell him about it. He'll plan it all afterward.

Hunter J

First date is a walk in the woods and stargazing. She spent days scouting the best hiking route and relaxing spots to make sure you get the best experience out of it. After that, she walks you home and kiss you goodnight, blushing madly. When you two go out, she likes to hold your hand. She gets cocky every time someone looks at you, she won't hesitate to call the person out and bring them down about how they'll never get her "precious angel". At home thought she's easily flustered. When you two cuddle she gets nervous and if you kiss her out of nowhere, she's gonna freeze and then blush madly again. She loves it when you cook for her so the dates are more like planned extravagant suppers at home.

Lawrence 3

The first date would simply be you two in his room, him showing his all his Pokemon goodies and collections. He's a huge nerd and couldn't help but show you all he's acquired in his life. You two wouldn't very often go out but when you do, you awkwardly stand next to each others. He doesn't like PDA, but if you really insist, you will get to brush his hand with yours from time to time. If someone tries to flirt with you, he'll grab your hand and walk away fast from the scene so you two can resume what you were doing in peace. He's slightly better at home thought. He insist on doting on you, doing everything for you. He's been alone for so long that he's become an expert in chores so he doesn't mind, he says. You basically got yourself a nerdy butler!

Archie (oras)

FIRST DATE AT THE AQUARIUM! He shows off his ocean knowledge approximately every 13 seconds, hoping to impress you! At home, you two like to have fun and play all kind of games. He prefer wrestling, but he's up for some video or board games if that's what you prefer (even thought he doesn't really like board games...). He likes to put you in his laps and rest his chin on your head, and he absolutely wants to be the big spoon to hold you the closer he can!! He takes you often to the beach or on boat tours, so you can get to appreciate the sea as much as him! He doesn't even let others have the time to look at you, he always has an arm around your shoulders, or even you sitting on his shoulders!

N (mmhhh yes I like him,,,,, like, a lot )

On the first date, he introduces you to all of his Pokemon friends. You all go to the forest to make sure you get to meet everyone and you play with them all day long as soon as they get used to you. He wants to make sure you're someone with a good heart who cares for pokemons. When you two go out, it's usually also in the forest or at the parc d'attraction. He doesn't hold your hand but when your shoulders brush, you can see him glance at you and smile slightly. If some stranger tries to get touchy-feely with you, he'll coldly smile at them and tell them you're already his. If they continue thought, he'll start growling and bare his teeth at them. When they finally leave, he'll blush and excuse himself for his weird manerism. At home you two cook a lot together, for yourselves and the pokemons. The house is filled with them and lots of plants too! He can't for the love of Arceus get a job so you have to work longer hours, but he makes it up by making your own garden to help with food and massaging your shoulders to help you relax!

Colress

The first date, well, wasn't exactly a date. You showed up at the Plasma Brigade like he asked you and you go to witness this man's facial expression pass from confused to surprised, then guilt and shame. He completely forgot. So you two got in, ordered all the takouts you could find online and you watched him work on his inventions while talking. It was still nice despite him forgetting about the date in the first place...! For other dates tho, he likes to take you to a lot of any kinds of expositions. Art, music or (especially) science, he likes to wander around with you and talk (mostly judge) everything you two see. If someone tries to get you right under his nose, he'll casually take a taser out of Arceus knows where and playfully threatens them with it. You.... often get kicked out of places because of this, so you go back home and do the same as your first date! At home, you notice how he doesn't take care of himself when he works so you always have to remind him to take breaks to eat, shower and all that. When you get your alone time with him, you often just cuddle in a comfortable silence.... until he falls hard asleep on you.

Shadow triad (I like ninjas ok I'll make it work out!......somehow.)

You.... never really went on a date. One day, you simply turned around in the dark on your room, feeling like you were being watched. And you were. They were there, in the middle of your room, observing. You flipped your balls off obviously but one of them softly restrained you so you would calm down. One of them said to not worry, that they were going to protect you. Very tired and now confused as fuck, you nodded and went back to sleep, thinking it was only a dream. After that, it seemed like life was extra good to you. The house always seems a little bit cleaner than the day before (the dishes actually cleaned themselves??!), every time you're about to trip it feels like you're being lifted up and you don't, and you never seem to encounter any more creeps that wants to jump in your pants. Eventually you remember your dream and try to call the mysterious trio out.... and they answer. They "poof into existance" and await your orders. They're surprised (even if it doesn't show) that you ask them to be more present if they really intend to stick around. You'd rather have friends than shadow bodyguards observing your every moves. And so they do. They don't conceal their appearance around you anymore, and you guys hang out in your own house, doing whatever you feel like at the moment.

Lysandre

The first date is in his own cafe, him acting as your barista. He kicked everyone else out and made sure that the closed sign was turned so it would be only you two and there would be no slip up. Anything you want on his menu, he'll cook to perfection. He tries to keep it slow but memorable on the first date, trying to impress you without being overbearing. Because if he does gets his second date well..... you two go shopping and you physically have to stop him from instant buying everything you look at for more than 3 seconds. He actually did that directly on the second date so you learned from it. Also yiu never seem to encounter anyone to disturb your dates.... thats because he engages security guards to take out anyone who looks at you with interest. He'll take that secret to his grave tho--. At home he also tries to do everything for you, to make you feel like a queen. If you want to do a few chores yourself like laundry or cooking, you have to convince him for a few hours but then he'll let you do what you want. Wouldn't want you to feel like a burden in your own house! You two likes to cuddle on the couch and watch documentaries while snacking on little apéro. He likes it when you your head on his shoulders or laps, so he can pet you!

Guzma

So we all know that Team Skull isn't the richest organisation around... but that doesn't stopped his boss from inviting you in the fanciest restaurant in all of Alola for your first date. He literally spent months scrapping all the money he could to invite you there and get himself a new change of cleaner clothes to try and impress you. After that one thought he'll feel bad for taking you on simple walks around the isles with Tapu-cocoa, but he have the best sightseeing spots so you have to tell him that it was as enjoyable as the first time when you see him looking down. He'll look at you with so much pride and love in his eyes-- If anyone tries to get you away from him, he'll snap his fingers and some of his grunts will just appear out of seemingly nowhere (he knows they try to spy on his dates since they have nothing better to do, better use then to his advantage right?) so you two can escape and resume your date. At home, you two simply like to relax, playing video games or watching action movies. Life is good in Alola.

[bravernificationbeam]

after sleeping on my completion of the RR ep of usum, i have some Things to Say as an og hardenshipper

gamefreak can fight me and every single one of my reincarnations for characterizing archie and maxie like that

like. every single one of the RR bosses (except giovanni??? maybe???? tf????) came from a world where there was no protag, but if you think for ONE MINUTE that archie and maxie wouldn’t near immediately be like WHAT HAVE I DONE after accomplishing their goals like.....did you even play rse???? ur actions don’t change their thought processes all that much -- it’s when they succeed and they realize how fucked up what they’ve done is that their thought processes change

tl;dr this archie and maxie would 100% be scared for their home worlds and want to go home, not want to help giovanni’s mafia looking ass

which, also. gamefreak, if you think for one minute that THOSE vegans would help giovanni, the man who had his grunts sever slowpoke tails for money, then ur uh. DEAD FUCKING WRONG

something. sort of positive. i guess. that i do have to say though is that it appears like rse archies and maxies don’t know each other before game events or at least before they start up their teams while oras archies and maxies do which i think is. SO interesting

like. obviously rse archie and maxie get together post games (@ the mt pyre scene from emerald) but???? think about what it MEANS that oras archie and maxie, who knew each other before forming their teams (were on the same team, even!!!! which i think was honestly just some environmental activists working together lmao) are so much cuter and cuddlier than any other pokemon antag ever (excluding n but. he’s a different case)

archie and maxie are good for each other and so profoundly impacted each other’s lives that their personalities were changed even when they were fighting confirmed

like, I’m sure some of this had to do with gamefreak realizing that archie and maxie were a little flat but also. with this information in mind. think about the difference between “I have no right to be critical of Archie” (emerald) and “Do you understand now, Maxie? Do you finally see how disastrous your dream turned out to be?” (ruby [side note: identical to what maxie says in sapphire minus the name]) versus “We’ve got to redo everything we’ve done from scratch--and get it right this time. Whaddaya say? Maxie...” (omega ruby) and “Perhaps this is the time we reconsider our ideals... Do you not agree? Archie...” (alpha sapphire)

on this note i’m gagging over how sappy and sweet oras harden were. they give each other fuckin. love speeches after groudon/kyogre has been calmed down. catch them makin out at the battle resort

[lesbianneopolitan]

Hey, any other Neo AUs you've drawn or been meaning to draw but fleshed out in your head? Like you have vampy Neo, and Hazbin Neo now, and the P3 Reload Neo you drew. Any other neato Neo'd you got cooking?

I don't even think I would count with P3 Neo because it was just one drawing, like, I would say I didn't flesh that out at all in my head aside of getting some basic questions about her arcana choice, it was more of a 'I like the style! I'll try to draw a Neo in it' for the small challenge than anything xD

Nevertheless, I may as well make a list of the Neos I've drawn in the style of other series, that were done for fun, rather than to flesh an AU

When it comes to the fleshed out AUs inside my head we have:

THE VAMPIRE AU

It was the first, I know a lot of people know of its existence, but I had to mention it anyway because I'll forever be fond of it. Like, vampires are one of my main hyperfixations, so I almost always gotta have a vampire AU if the character in question isn't one already.

Even if the main timeline is up to happen in a modern setting, I've actually written some of Neo's past in RP format to develop her life with her parents, when she was still a recently sired vampire and stuff.

CYBERPUNK 2077 AU

I think the doodles speak very well by themselves, but the main idea with this was that Neo was an ex-Corpo that used to work for Salem (Grimm Corp.), which treated to experiment on Cyberpsychos in order to turn them into mechanical aberrations (like the Hound, but more Cyberpunk).

I was partially inspired by the run I played in my own Cyberpunk 2077 game lol

Nevermore AU

My bestie and I watched the Wednesday show and ended brainstorming an AU for the academy that the protag stays at. I actually wrote a bit of Neo in the setting as well with my bestie, for the fun of it.

POKEMON AU

I actually learnt a few things while doing this one and brainstorming ideas, because I had no idea they use Ditto in the mangas to shapeshift people, as in, Ditto can cover a person and use the shifting powers so the person has a disguise like, WHAT?

Anyway, a Pokemon AU of my Neo. Mimikyu was her starter as a kid when still known as Trivia. The Espeon actually helps with transmitting Neo's thoughts if she needs to communicate real bad, Ditto is for her own shapeshifting...

She also has a Vanilluxe and a Zoroark (her biggest ace in the sleeve) for proper battle and help with her crimes due to illusions. Vanillite and Ditto are the ones swapped for them in that case.

ROCK AU

THE FUCKING ROCK AU HAS ONE OF MY FAVE NEO DESIGNS! Like I love her, I loved designing this one. It was fun. I should draw her more, honestly.

In this one, Neo ACTUALLY had a voice at first, she was actually a vocalist and keyboard player before an accident that left her vocal cords fucked up- had to go through an operation, but she never recovered her voice.

She's a musician that actually uses old records of her voice to develop a system that will replicate her voice for new songs, think like, Vocaloid, sort of.

She eventually meets Cinder and joins her band as a guitarist to honor Roman.

...eventually also falls out with her and ends with Ruby's band, initially to spite Cinder for kicking her out.

MAFIA AU

Bruh, I even went ahead and designed all the members of the Ever After Mafia in this one. Neo wasn't initially part of them and had her own thing -Roman's Mafia- which she inherited after Roman died.

Cinder is like a double agent in this one and eventually betrays Neo and leaves her to die (following Salem's orders), but Neo survives and ends in the Ever After, desperate to have revenge against Salem's Mafia for what they did.

The Curious Cat is the big boss initially, but he was a motherfucking manipulator that took advantage of the other members when they were in their lowest, even Neo.

So Neo eventually has enough and kills him, becoming the boss instead, even if she honestly hates the responsibility. It's when Neo becomes the Mad Hatter for the group.

EXORCIST AU

The recent one- I'm sure people don't need that much info of this one because it's pretty recent.

Other AUs: Rusted Knight but it's Neo suffering the time trap ; Werecat AU ; Serial Killer AU ; Jennifer's Body AU

And now for other crossovers:

Among Us, TCOAAL, Hellborn Neo (Succubi + Demon Cat mix)(HH, Helluva Boss), Homestuck, Helltaker, Adventure Time, Sinner Neo (HH), Persona 3, Disney Cat

[violetren]

Today’s Motivated pokemon are... Charizard, Vulpix, and Unknown.

Unknown! Unknowns double already tripled EXP!

GRAB YOUR STUFF KIDDOS WE’RE HITTING WHATEVER DUNGEON HAD THE MOST JOBS.  IT’S A 6x EXP DAY!

All I wanna do is go and start reaping in the extra EXP, why must there be interuptions?

You’re that dude that tried to mug us but got flattened by the society stampede and decided to go get drunk instead.

Unless you’re about to volunteer to get your ass kicked I suggest you make this quick.

Hahahahaha. No. How’s about you give me some cash instead, to pay me back for the time you’re wasting.

I know it’s kinda small but if you look Morla’s eyes are flattened at the top to make them look worried, mind on the other hand are normal, and it’s not just typical “pokemon cbf animating the protags features” because they have made poke-me look sad/worried before. Poke-me is just as unimpressed by Krokorok as I am, and for the first time in a long time I feel connected to them.

Talking their way into getting beat up.

Ooooh. Has Buizel kicked your ass before Krok?

They were. We had it handled though. Wanna help us beat him up anyhow? For team building?

Liar. Why are you even bothering. We clearly all know what kind of shit you’re into.

I will go along with this farce for 500 bucks.

Yeah, it’s almost like you know Krok or something...

Buizel does dramatic exclamations way better than Ampharos. When they do it there’s weight behind it, it’s more goofy than anything. Buizel actually gives the impression of being a competent badass.

See. Ole drunk Amphy could proably have just gotten stared down.

Well anyways. Krokorok’s been put in their place can I get on with my 6x EXP day out right?

Of course not.

Ok, I’ll bite. Who the fuck are you?

Are you this cretins boss? Can we fight? I wanna fight you.

Whoa. Buizel looks riled up. Maybe we will get to fight ‘em.

Ex-fucking-scuse you?

You were trying to get money from us, and just generally being a little bitch.

Wanna fight about it?

You can talk, you coward. Imma kick your bosses ass and then I’m gonna chase you down and beat you up using your bosses body.

You guys clearly have history, pretending you don’t think enough of them to really remember where they work isn’t much of a power move. A power move would have been pretending you’d forgotten them completely.

Staring down someone who just asked a question you know they know answer to can either be a power move or a guilt/shame response. This is a power move.

I will fucking test you mate. Let’s fight. Right here, right now. You’re not fooling anyone with your faux generosity tough talk.

But I wanna battle you!

Take what? You and your boss are running like cowards.

YOU AND BUIZEL HAD THE TYPE ADVANTAGE! And I have enough long distance moves and blast seeds that standing on the right place would have let me take them down no problem. WE COULD HAVE WRECKED THEM.

Great so we met the local mafia and its lowest grunt. And didn’t even get to kick the grunts ass.

Look I’m not gonna go after them just to kick their asses. We’re more like bounty hunters than cops, but if they go to the effort of putting themselves in our path again, like they did today... Well I’m not gonna back down.

Now. If you’ll excuse us. IT’S A 6x EXP DAY!