#did this instead of my work and i graduate in three days my brain is so fried
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evangeliooon · 9 days ago
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EVANGELIOOON! ῾ SUPER SPECIAL !NTR@ #
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❪ contains media about ❫ ▬▬▬ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ EVANGELIOOON! ... is JAVI
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‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ seventeen, and deeply obnoxious, i've felt the need to publicize my shifting journey ❪ single–handedly setting myself back four years ❫. ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎so, here are some of the basics!
‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎caifanes and sheena ringo ... step up to the front; i'm fond of cherry laffy taffy, attack on titan, evangelion, final fantasy xiii, and g*nshin; i've been trying to shift since october ... of four years ago ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ❪ and the crowd threw tomatoes ❫; mexican and genderqueer ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ²⁷ he!them; my first dr was hogwarts because i've had an insane harry potter fixation since the fifth grade; and my main IR' S include ...
‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ATT͟A͟C͟K͟ ͟O͟N͟ ͟T͟I͟T͟AN , current iterations ❫ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ canon! ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎modern au! and ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎actor au.
‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ BET͟T͟E͟R͟ ͟I͟R ,who's stationed in NEW YORK and is a ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ confirmed # BOYFAILURE ? well ...
‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ MIR͟A͟C͟U͟L͟O͟U͟S͟ ͟L͟A͟D͟Y͟BUG ,God.
others ! mob psycho, gintama, final fantasy, harry potter, my hero, nana, marvel, k-pop idol, lookism, arcane, and more to come tbh.
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ts so ass, goodbye. please consider being moots with me, i'm bored.
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heyimkana · 2 months ago
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Untitled
Pairing: Yuuta Okkotsu x Female Reader
Word Count: 5K (I feel like I should apologize but if you’ve seen my other works, this is considered super short I’m being fr rn)
Summary: Yuuta is your new neighbor, and everyone loves him because of his sweet and kind personality. He has a crush on you, but you’re a married woman, so you can’t reciprocate his feelings the same way. But when your husband starts cheating on you, you can’t help but turn to him for comfort.
Content Warnings: alcohol, swearing, adultery/cheating, age gap (Yuuta is in his early twenties, reader is almost in her thirties), unprotected sex, also Yuuta going down the yandere route at the end I'm not playing so if it's not your cup of tea don't read
A/N: wrote this in one sitting after aleks @yuutito said something about yuuta and older woman that rewired my brain (how dare she went to sleep after casually telling me this like I wasn't going to just just sit there thinking about *redacted*-ing this ver of him in 124352 different positions). i was supposed to be watching my kids playing in my backyard but i wrote this instead. pls don't call child support. this is also supposed to be a drabble 🤡 🔫 i was going to send it to her on discord but a few people were asking if i was dead (girl, only on the inside lol) cause i haven't posted in a while so hi everyone guess who came back from the war (i'll go through my inbox asap i promise ily)
P.S: don't use your brain when you read this cause i certainly didn't use mine when i wrote this only my dick
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Yuuta Okkotsu is your new neighbor. 
He lives across the street, and you’re not close to him, not yet. He’s younger than you, much younger than you—a fresh graduate from a reputable university who’s lucky enough to be able to work from home. He doesn’t go out much, but he’s friendly, always leaving good impressions around the neighborhood. Everyone knows Yuuta. Everyone loves Yuuta. 
The first time you asked about him, purely out of curiosity, was when you greeted your neighbor next door, an older woman living alone ever since her late husband passed. She just got home from, what you assumed, another trip to the clinic. You saw him stepping down from her porch after making sure she was okay and bidding her with a polite bow. You traded smiles with him, but he didn’t stop for a conversation. You just saw his face turn scarlet at the sight of you, and he dropped a quick “Hello” before he bolted.
“Who was that?�� you asked.
“Oh, he’s our sweet neighbor Yuuta.”
“Sweet neighbor Yuuta,” you laughed a little. “He just moved here like three days ago, and everyone calls him that.”
“Because it’s true!”
“Uh-huh, and what did he do that was so sweet to you?”
“He’s helped me with my chores—washing the dishes, bathing my cat, mowing my backyard. He saw me having trouble crossing the street yesterday, so he offered to take me to the clinic today. Such a sweet boy, that man. Very handsome, too.”
That last part you could agree with. Instantly. 
You see Yuuta occasionally, always by coincidence, like maybe in the morning when you leave the house to put out your trash or grab a newspaper. He always seems like he’s eager to strike up a conversation but gives up before he can, simply because his heart can’t take it. You know he has a crush on you; it’s clear as day. He’s young, and he’s in love. It’s cute. But you’re married and committed, so that’s that. 
You meet him more frequently when he starts going to the same local supermarket. You bumped into him in one of the aisles, with him approaching you first because he saw you struggling to get that ketchup bottle on the top shelf. He’s so polite, and he’s, indeed, very sweet, especially to the elderly, always taking his time to humor them when nobody else seems to pay them any attention. He grabbed the bottle for you, and you ended up chatting with him while waiting in line. He offered to help carry your groceries, and you were thankful because you weren’t sure you could bring everything alone. He walked you to your car, bade you good night, and told you to take care. 
He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta. 
Things haven’t been going well with your husband. It’s fight after fight after fight.  At first, your relationship became so strained because you couldn’t conceive even after two years of marriage. The truth is, you don’t want to have a baby, not too soon, not when you still want to focus on living your life, but he wants it terribly, and if you want your marriage to work out, there’s no other choice but to try. You’re somehow glad that the universe seemed to work in your favor, at least for now.
You’re unsure if it’s your fault or his—you don’t have the money or time to get yourself tested. Nevertheless, he kept trying, turning your sex life into a string of dull experiments, one after another. It didn’t come as a surprise that after a while, he gave up. What did come as a surprise was when he started cheating. 
You have reasons to back your assumptions from all the evidence you’ve found along the way. The lipstick stain on his shirt, the hint of female perfume in his car, the way he never left his phone out of reach, terrified of you looking into it. It’s enough. 
It’s Friday night. Your husband won’t be home until late. Still got a bunch of stuff to do at work, he said, which is another way of saying, I got my secretary sucking my dick since you barely even bother anymore. Which is true.
You’re tired of him. You’re tired of having sex with him where he only cares about him cumming inside you and nothing more. You’re so tired of fighting. And now that he's cheating on you, you grow too tired to care. About him. About your marriage. About everything.
So, you head down to a bar one night just to distract yourself. And there he is again. Yuuta. Sitting by himself, watching a football game on the big screen with a beer bottle in hand. He looks rather… lonely, a new face that makes your heart twitch a bit. His solemn look makes him more gorgeous in a way, more mature, more mysterious, and girls love that, don’t they? A slightly dangerous aura to a very sweet face, unapproachable yet inviting.
But that doesn’t last too long because the moment he sees you, his face brightens entirely. He smiles, standing up from his seat to greet you, and you meet him halfway. You end up chatting all night. He’s a fantastic listener, and he’s so kind and thoughtful with each word, comforting you the way you need the most. It’s embarrassing that you nag about your husband like this, but he seems genuinely interested in helping you convey your emotions, and you just can’t stop. It feels so liberating.
Yuuta buys you your favorite drink but also reminds you not to get too much alcohol in your system. You begin to trust him, knowing for certain he won’t take any advantage of you. He walks you home right after. It’s true that he lives right across your house, but he makes sure you get inside safely. He leaves only after he sees you close and lock the door behind you. You spy on him from the window, wanting to see what he does after you’re gone. You see him rubbing a hand over his face, flushed from ears to neck, looking extremely happy that he got to spend time with you. 
He’s so cute, you think to yourself. Like a high school lovesick boy, kind of cute.
Yuuta then notices your husband’s missing car, meaning that you’re alone in the house. He looks sad on your behalf, which is so kind of him to think about your feelings that much. Then he turns upset, as if he was thinking, how dare he stay out so late, leaving her without protection like this. Looking visibly worried, he then texts you, “Let me know if you need anything, okay? My door is open for you anytime.” You smile and promptly reply to him with, “That’s so kind of you, thank you.” 
He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.
These friendly sorts of private meetings between you and him go on for a while. Your husband often arrives late, usually drunk out of his mind or too tired to stay for a chat, and he heads straight to bed without even giving you a goodnight kiss. It hurts, but it’s fine. The more your husband breaks your heart, the harder Yuuta will try to mend it and make it whole again. And he did. Every night, when you’re lucky enough to see him, you’ll feel like a heavy weight is lifted from your chest. You feel… happy, even in this terrible situation, and it’s all because of him. 
You usually hang out with him at the bar, but sometimes you don’t feel like going for a ten-minute drive, and you choose to just cross the road and knock your fist against his door. No matter what hour you visit, day or night, for a morning latte or evening tea, he always greets you with the prettiest smile.
He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.
Weeks passed by, and now you spend most of your free time chatting with him, sitting on the couch in his living room, and talking about yourself more than you ever did with your husband. He likes listening to you talk about yourself, and he tells you that you shine so brightly when you talk about the things you’re passionate about. He always stammers out his praises, looking like he’s seconds away from combusting into flames just from calling you beautiful or something. He’s so young, so inexperienced yet passionate when it comes to love and romance, and it shows.
You ask questions about himself, too, and you can understand why it’s addicting for him to watch you speak, because the second he does that, he’s breathtaking. 
You find out that he likes the things you like, he’s watched the movies you’ve seen, and he’s read your favorite books. It’s not just a coincidence, is it? Maybe you’re a match made in heaven. But even so, nothing happens. He’s too respectful, and he makes you respect yourself. You’re married, and he’s a close friend of yours. That’s it.
He’s just your sweet neighbor Yuuta.
One morning, you find a bouquet sitting on your porch. Oh, right, today’s our anniversary. Your husband has this habit of sending you your favorite flowers on your anniversary. He does this every year, which is nice of him, but you really didn’t think he’d send you one this year, seeing how he barely exchanged more than three sentences with you. So now that you receive his flowers, you’re beginning to think, oh, maybe he’s trying to fix things between us. You’re not sure if you want that, though, not anymore. Most of your heart already belongs to someone else, which is terrible since you’re married, but you can’t help it. 
You pick up the flowers anyway; too pretty to be thrown away. You open the card attached to it. I will love you forever, it says, written in his handwriting. The way he wrote the letter f is a little different. Looks like he wrote in a rush, you presume. Either that, or he just didn't care enough. And it’s whatever; you didn’t expect much anyway. You appreciate the thought until your eyes land on the name he wrote.
That’s not my fucking name.
He must have sent flowers to his secretary at the same time and had his card switched. That fucking cheater.
You thought you didn’t care about him anymore, but God, now you’re livid.
Yuuta shows up at the perfect place and at the perfect time. He invites you over to have dinner together at his place. “J-just, you know, as friends,” he says, unconsciously giving you the confirmation that he does not think of you as a friend. Not at all.
So you come over in a beautiful red dress later that evening, and he stares at you, completely in awe, for a good three seconds. “You, umm—” He blushes madly, his head so full of steam he could barely think. “You look like… like a goddess.”
“Thank you,” you simper. That was so corny for him to say, but he meant every word, which makes it endearing. “You look amazing, too.” And he is. God, he looks so handsome in his black buttoned-down shirt, and his parted hair, and his sweet, sweet smile.
I want to fuck the shit out of him.
It’s the monster inside you who speaks it. The part of you that’s been neglected for so long, that’s never been touched in the way you wanted to. And it’s screaming, begging for Yuuta to love you.
But no. We’re friends. We’re just friends, aren’t we, Yuuta?
Yuuta cooks, too, apparently. Every dish looks fucking delicious, and everything else is perfect. The table setting decorated with your favorite flowers. The scented candles with your favorite fragrance set up romantically on top of the cozy fireplace. The soft music playing in the background, a piano instrumental of your favorite song. It’s like a date. A celebration. Like something you should’ve had with your husband today.
“You did all of this on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Hmm?”
You gesture to your surroundings. “We’ve read the same books and watched the same movies. Okay, fine, maybe we have the same taste. But this song, those flowers, everything you’ve set up in this room, you did all of these for me, didn’t you?”
He pauses before he tucks his chin, avoiding your gaze. “I just… wanted to make you happy,” he confesses bashfully. “Is it… Is it too much? Do you not like it?”
“Yuuta, of course, I love it.” You stroke his arm, washing his worry away. “I just… I’ve never had someone care about me this much before…”
He melts under your touch, and there’s so much he wants to say, but his lips form nothing but a sad smile. He caresses your face with tender hand, his fingertips quivering slightly when they land on your cheek. His heart must be beating like crazy right now, you smile to yourself, leaning further into his touch to soothe him.
“I would do this every day for you if you let me,” he whispers, promise behind each word. “I would make you happy, so happy you’d forget what sadness feels like. What loneliness feels like.”
That stirs something inside your chest. “And what do you want in return for that?” You slide up a hand, testing his limit.
He stops your hand by covering it with his own. For a second, just for a brief second, he emits a different feeling. There’s intensity behind his gaze that burns you as if he wanted you all to himself. And that’s understandable. No man, especially one who’s so desperately in love like him, would want to share his woman with someone else, but he knows the situation they’re in, doesn’t he? It’s just not possible for you to be together, not now, not completely. Maybe that’s why he switches back in a blink, smiling until his eyes crinkle adorably. “Nothing,” he answers. “As long as we can be friends like this, it’s more than enough for me.”
He’s a terrible liar, you think, slightly amused. It’s cute how he tries so hard to conceal his feelings and you still can read him like an open book.
The food tastes as amazing as it looks, even down to the last bite. You don’t talk about the bouquet, afraid that you’ll ruin the mood, but Yuuta is always so attentive when it comes to you. He asks you what happened, and he hugs you the second he sees tears brimming in your eyes. You’re not sad. You’re fucking angry. And thank God Yuuta is there to let you vent your frustrations. You go as far as telling him almost every little shitty thing your husband did to you behind your back, as well as the slutty secretary that’s been sleeping with him for money. It feels relieving to finally say their names out loud, with so much hatred, so much rage, and to have Yuuta respond with, “No matter how pretty she is, she’s nothing compared to you. Your husband doesn’t deserve you. If I were him, I would’ve—” he stops himself, just in time, flustered and mortified under your gaze.
You’re older. You’re older than him by eight, no, nine years even. You know what’s going to happen if you encourage him to say the words he’s been dying to say. You know what it’s going to do to your relationship. But fuck that. If there were one man in this world who knew how to treat you like you deserve…
It’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.
So, by the time the two of you move to the couch with some wine in your system, you lean forward, letting your fingers trace the protruding vein on the back of his hand. His eyes widen at the way your dress does very little to hide your cleavage, but he averts his gaze right away, being the gentleman that he is. But tonight, you want him to be the opposite of that. You don’t want him to be sweet; you want him to let his desire win. There’s a monster hiding inside him, something much more terrible than your own. You sometimes caught its glimpse when he thought you weren’t looking his way. The amount of obsession that fogged his eyes, his fixation over you, turning his sapphire blue eyes so dark, so deep, so intense, like he wanted to have you locked up in his room, tied up and used and thoroughly fucked until you found no strength to stand and no will to escape. It should’ve been a scary thought, but it wasn’t. It was… exciting.
“I want to hear it, Yuu…” Seduction lays thickly in your voice as you lay a gentle hand on his cheek, guiding his eyes back to you. You stare up at him from underneath your lashes with this look in your eyes that makes his breath hitch in his throat. “If you were my husband…” You wet your lip, your tongue a sinful dance to his eyes. “What would you do to make me feel…” You purposely drop your gaze to his lips, letting him catch your message. “…loved?”
You watch him gulp, goosebumps breaking on his skin. You watch his eyes fall to see the way you rub your thumb over the bumps on his knuckles. You watch them turn half-lidded as they linger a second too long on your lips. And you watch him break all control he has over himself, and you let him devour you the way you’ve been wanting him to.
He’s your sweet neighbor Yuuta.
And he tastes even sweeter with your cum on his tongue.
It’s happening too fast, yet it feels like it’s not going fast enough. He starts by holding you by the face, slotting his lips against yours, passionate and gentle at the same time. He pulls away for a moment to see your reaction, and when you kiss him back, he lets out this sinful moan that causes your stomach to churn.
He’s so fucking sexy. Even without trying, he is. 
In the next second, he’s eating you out on the couch, spreading your legs, and kneeling on the floor with his head trapped between your thighs, wanting to get as much of you as you can give him. When his tongue circles your clit, and he’s moaning against your heat, it feels so good you almost run away, not used to experiencing this much pleasure. It’s scary how easily he plays with your body. How fast he can tell which part of yours likes to be licked, which ones want to be sucked, and which ones want to be fucked. He moves agonizingly slow, but each touch feels so right that you find no reason to complain. He’s sure to take his time with you, to make you feel loved in the way a wife should be when her husband makes love to her.
He takes hold of your thighs, holding you tight, but you want it even tighter to the point of leaving bruises all over your skin so you can show them to your husband later. His gaze is intense, constantly keeping his eyes on you. Your expression turns him on, making him ache so bad within the constraints of his pants that his eyes turn watery, desperate for release. He’s too ashamed to ask you to touch him, and maybe he doesn’t want to be touched, not yet, he just wants to focus on pleasuring you for now. So he keeps sucking your clit into his mouth, and he slides one hand into his own jeans to grip his cock tightly. He fucks his fist as fast as he fucks your hole with his tongue, groaning, whining, whimpering against your cunt. He’s pathetic. You love it.
You push him down to the carpeted floor after you drench his mouth and chin with your juice, and you push his fingers, coated with his own cum, into your mouth. He curses once at the sight, and it’s so sexy when he does it. After all this time hearing him talk so softly, so innocently, hearing a low, “Fuck, you're making me lose my mind,” tumbling off his lips is such a fucking turn-on. 
You tear yourself away from your dress before you rip open the buttons of his shirt, not caring if the two of you are in the middle of his living room, visible for anyone to see if they dare take a peek through the window. You wish the light in the room were brighter. It would’ve been a lovely show for your husband if he came home to see you riding another man’s cock, using Yuuta to your own satisfaction, and watching him make you cum the way he couldn’t. 
Yuuta, oblivious to your thoughts, is gasping out your name, one arm hiding his beet-red face while his other one is gripping your thigh. “W-wait,” he flinches, his breathing tattered. “You’re going—too fast—”
You know you are, but it’s so good that you can’t stop. His cock rubs your walls so deliciously as if it was made solely for this purpose. You cum so fast, so hard, and he follows almost right away, unable to hold it even longer when he sees you looking like that when you cummed. 
Your body is still trembling when he suddenly lifts you off his cock and guides you to his face. “Ride me again,” he says, begging. “Please, Angel, I want to taste you again.” And you do, sitting on his face and letting him lick, suck, and lap at everything that seeps out of you.
He’s staring at your swollen clit, licking his lips and seemingly dazed as he rubs his thumb softly over it. “I’m sorry I came inside you,” he says, genuinely feeling guilty about it despite you giving him permission to.
You shiver, still feeling so sensitive for receiving so much stimulation at once. “It’s okay. I can’t get pregnant anyway,” you laugh it off. “I haven’t gotten myself checked yet, but we’ve been trying for two years, and nothing has happened yet, so…”
His gaze darkens. “I see,” is the only thing he utters before he scoops you in his arms, carrying you to the bedroom. You’re surprised; you really thought that was it. Both of you came twice already in, like, fifteen minutes. That’s enough, isn’t it? But he’s still young, and he has a lot of energy that leaves him insatiable. If you let him, he’ll have you for the entire night.
It’s not a bad thing, not at all.
So you kneel in front of him on the bed, bite the corner of your lip to drive him even more insane, and stroke him slowly with your hand. “You still want to fuck me?”
“Yes,” he breathes out, the muscles in his abdomens tautening. “Yes, Ma’am, please…”
Ma’am? You almost laugh. How does he keep getting cuter and cuter?
“Okay.” You reward him with a little kiss on the head of his cock, robbing a soft whimper out of his mouth. Lying down on the bed, you spread your legs, sliding two fingers down your body to do the same to your cunt. “Come here and love me again, Yuu.”
He obliges in a split second. Yuuta has so much love to give, and he lets his mouth, his tongue, and his cock paint a perfect picture on your body.
Everything feels like heaven until he suddenly stops in the middle of thrusting his hips, earning himself an impatient whine. His blue eyes have lost their warm, pretty light. They’re as dark as the night, but lust and greed are the perfect colors for him. He sits on his knees, resting your ankles on his shoulders, breathing heavily. 
“Yuuta?”
He’s not listening, too captivated by the way his tip slides in and out so easily. You’re so fucking wet for him; it’s embarrassing, but Yuuta would take a picture of you like this in a heartbeat, with your wedding ring still wrapped around your finger and his cock sheathed deep inside you, should you allow him to.
He splays his hand over your stomach, giving a little pressure to your womb. You squirm, suddenly feeling like you no longer have control over anything, over him, not like the way you did before. It’s frightening and thrilling at the same time. “Yuuta, what are you—” Your jaw turns slack at the sensation when he thrusts inside, just once, just to see how far it goes within your walls. He’s so hard and thick and throbbing that you could practically feel him poking from inside of your stomach. And perhaps he’s thinking the same thing, his eyes glistening when he feels a bulge forming under his palm. He swallows. He looks… hungry.
“You said you couldn’t get pregnant,” he says, running a tongue across his lower lip, his eyes still fixated on the way you’re taking him so well, all stretched out and tight around him. “You know what I think?” He pulls himself out completely, shivers in his breath. “I think you’re wrong.” He slams his hips forward so abruptly, and with so much force, you have one hand shooting past your head to keep a safe distance away from the headboard. 
“Yuuta—” You gasp out, struggling to match his rhythm. “Wait—”
He only smiles a little, chuckles a little. He’s so far gone. He leans forward until you’re pressed chest to chest, folding you in half before he laces his fingers together with yours. “I think you can get pregnant.” He moves closer to your ear, whispering with his lips caressing your lobe, “And I’m going to show you how.”
He fucks the breaths out of you, swallowing each cry with his mouth, embracing you so tightly you can feel his heart beating against yours. “I’m sorry,” he pants, “It hurts, doesn’t it? I—” He’s interrupted with a low groan, feeling you clenching around him.“—really am sorry—” He smashes his lips against yours, smothering you with his kisses, too. “I know I’m being too rough, but I can't—”  He has one hand gripping the top of his headboard, giving him more support to drive his hips even deeper. “I can’t—stop—” He fucks you again, and again, harder each time until you find yourself unable to make sounds. “You’re so good... You feel so good around me... My angel…” You’re being folded, handled, trapped, and he fucks you until you’re drained, until you’re filled, until he’s spent. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Just a little bit more..." He kisses your forehead and your cheek to soothe you down, cradling your head as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. His hips start to move erratically. “Don’t ever leave me… I will love you forever, so—ah, God—” He chokes out a sob when he feels you spasming around him again, reeling in another wave of orgasm that hit you so intensely, you see white.
It takes him a little over an hour until he finally lets you go. For now, at least.
But once he gives you a chance to breathe, he cleans you up so gently, dabbing a warm towel over your skin, peppering kisses as soft as butterfly wings down your back, your thighs, your chest, before ending his journey at your stomach. He rubs the supple flesh of your belly and smiles, completely satisfied after giving you his everything. And it scares you a little bit because… You might really end up getting pregnant this time.
“I have to go before he comes home,” you say, feeling your body ache terribly when you try to raise yourself off the bed. They’re not shown vividly yet, but there will be bruises in the morning in places you’re not sure you can cover. 
Yuuta hugs you from the side when you barely have one foot on the floor, whispering against the bare skin of your hip, “I’m not letting you go.”
It makes you happy. You feel so wanted, so loved, even after all the affection he gave you all night. The truth is, you don’t want to leave. Ever. To walk into your own home after experiencing what heaven feels like… It would be torturous.
“I wish I could stay with you, too.”
“You do?” He looks up with big, round eyes, hope residing in each one of them. “Would you stay with me forever?”
“If I could,” you reply and it’s true. God, if only you could stay forever with him, let him love you this way, forever. That would be perfect, wouldn't it?
“That makes me happy…” He takes both of your hands, kissing you on each wrist before he does the same to your palms. “That makes me so happy…” 
It tickles, so you laugh a little. He makes the same sweet sound, the sound of a boy in love. 
“I really need to go, though…” You whisper, hypnotized when he starts pushing your digit past his lips. It’s warm and wet inside his mouth, waking up the butterflies in your stomach. He keeps his eyes on you, looking so sensual as he sucks around your finger, enveloping it from base to tip. “Yuuta…”
“I understand.” He pulls away, ending it with a kiss. He seems disheartened, his smile doesn't shine as bright anymore and it hurts you. "I guess you left me with no choice."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He returns your embrace, just one more time before you have to let him go. “Can you turn around for me, please? I want to give you something,” he softly smiles. “A present. It will be quick, I promise.” 
You do as he says, excited at the thought of it. What will he give you? Knowing him and how he went through so much effort to prepare a dinner for two friends, you just know it would be something incredibly romantic. Yuuta kisses your nape, open-mouthed and lingering. You nibble on your lip to suppress your moan as he trails his lips from between your shoulder blades down to your spine. 
“Yuuta,” you sigh, squeezing your thighs together. You’re aching for him again, and it’s dangerous. Your husband can come anytime soon. “I know what you want, and really, I wish I could stay,” you say from the bottom of your heart, looking over your shoulder to see him, and you’re immediately answered by a kiss. He presses his chest to your spine, one hand cupping half of your neck and your jaw to keep you in place so he can deepen the kiss. His mouth moves with fervor, filling you up with desire, and if it weren’t for the sound of your husband’s car moving into your driveway, you would’ve let him take you there for another hour or two.
“I need to leave. Now.” You break away to gather your clothes quickly. Except you can’t.
You can’t move your hands.
Robbed out of your balance, you fall face-first to the floor. Your breath catches, your heart plummeting to your stomach when you realize you have your hands tied behind your back. You feel something rough grazing against your skin. There’s a rope ensnaring your wrists together, and it’s digging painfully into your flesh every time you struggle to break free. 
Panic rises quickly to your chest. You look up, your body froze with terror at the sight of him smiling at you. 
He’s not your sweet neighbor Yuuta. Not anymore.
This is the monster you caught a glimpse of before, in full form. His handsome features suddenly feel unrecognizable, not when you can no longer witness the warmth in his eyes.
What is happening? You breathe fast, frightened beyond your mind. Why is he doing this?
“I told you I’m not letting you go,” he says, walking slowly toward you. With every step he takes, your urge to escape grows bigger.
The second the dread sinks in, you part your lips to scream for help, but he clasps a hand over your mouth just in time. “Sshh shhh shhh,” he whispers, bringing you back to your feet. “We wouldn’t want your husband to find out, would we?” 
You try to kick and toss your body around, but he’s strong, much stronger than you could ever imagine him to be. From your peripheral vision, you see him taking out a syringe from a drawer behind him, fitted with a hollow needle to inject the clear liquid into your skin. You feel your heart pounding in your throat, your scream muffled as he sinks it into your skin. “There, there. Off you go, honey,” he whispers in your ear, as you begin to lose your will to fight. Your consciousness slowly wanes away with each second passing by. “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. It’s only scary at the beginning, I promise.” He tosses the syringe away, now empty. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Did you like the card I gave you?”
The card? What card?
Oh.
Oh, no.
“I’m sorry for tricking you like that,” he says with a little pout. “Truly, I am. I didn’t want to lie to you, but I had to do something to push you over the edge. I knew you liked me too from the start, but you wouldn’t make the first move. You kept staying faithful even when your husband was cheating on you like that. I admire you for that,” he sighs, utterly smitten by you, but only for a second before his tone drops. “But I was getting impatient, you see. And I knew you were, too. I watched your favorite movies. I read your favorite books. I learned everything about you and did everything you liked, but you still wouldn’t leave your husband for me. So you left me with no choice. I have to make you understand,” he slides his hand up your stomach, passing the valley between your breasts before he chooses to linger there, squeezing, teasing, pleasing. “That no one can touch you like I do. No one can love you like I do.”
You can feel him kissing your neck, licking a stripe up from your collarbone to the spot below your ear. “It was quite tricky copying his handwriting like that. There’s one letter I still can’t do very well even now. But it was enough to trick you, so I think everything’s fine in the end,” he chuckles, the sound filling your chest with horror, though you could barely register it now, not with the drug flowing in your system.
“You asked me what I would do to make you feel loved if I were your husband.” He carries you closer to the window, letting you see, with all the little power you have left, your husband closing the door of his car. Yuuta embraces you from behind, his hands tangled around your waist as he lets you rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m gonna show it to you.” You watch your husband make his way to your porch, oblivious to what’s happening in the dark room across the street. “I’m gonna love you, Angel. I will love you forever. With all my heart. And I’m gonna take my time. I’ll be so thorough with you that once I’m done, you won’t be able to spend a second of your life without me.” 
Your husband closes his front door, and with it goes your last chance of escaping, if there was even one.
You start losing strength in your legs, in your arms, but you’re still able to cry, and so you do just that. It won’t help you, nothing will help you, no one will help you, and no one will know what he’s doing to you, not when everyone thinks so fondly of him. 
“Oh, Sweetheart, don’t cry.” He kisses your tears away, landing an even softer one on your temple. “Don’t be afraid of me, my love. After all, it’s just me.” He meets your eyes in the reflection of his window, smiling with his hand holding the front of your neck.
“Your sweet neighbor Yuuta.”
***
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m00nl1ghts1vt · 2 months ago
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City of Love - Matt Sturniolo
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Requested by anon Part Two. Part three Pairings - Matt Sturniolo x fem!Reader Warnings - strong language & a lil fluff 😇 W/c - 2536 Summary - You move back to your hometown, Boston, after a bad breakup. When your takeout gets dropped off next door, your neighbor comes by to give you your food, already paid for. A/n - Thank you for requesting ❤️ I had a lot fun with this one!! Kinda gave me some inspiration so I might do a mini series about it?? Let me know what you guys thinks!! I wrote this off my phone but edited most of it on my computer so hopefully there’s no typos 🤦🏻‍♀️ Requests are always open! Check out my masterlist for my most recents!! Also dividers & photos are not mine - all credits to owners. Update - edited. Thank you for reading!!
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"Over there is fine," you point to the mover you had hired. After ending things with your high school sweetheart, nearly four months ago, you decided to make the move to one of your favorite cities. The only romantic relationship you've ever known was gone, it left you feeling lonely. Instead of dwelling on the situation, you decided to make light of it, accepting a new job, and moving across the country. Call it crazy, but you couldn't bear living in the same town as the man who broke your heart.
It was a proximity thing - no matter how many times your brain told you to stay away, your heart wouldn't allow it. So, the only way to finally wash your hands of your shitty ex, was to get the fuck away from him. And that's exactly what you did.
Boston has always held a special place in your heart. Your parents were born and raised here. They graduated, meeting after college, and having you a couple years later. Unfortunately, your family moved to Seattle before you hit age 12, due to your dad's busy work life, but you always made it a point to come back.
Your parents referred to Boston as the 'city of love', being that's where their relationship began to really flourish. The love they had for each other inspired you. It was nothing you had ever witnessed, or experienced, before. To this day, they still act like teenagers in love. One of your main goals in life was to find a love like theirs. It was raw and real.
"Okay, looks like that's the last of it," your head snaps to the man standing in the doorway of your new home. You shake your head, almost like you're trying to push the thoughts out of it.
Clearing your throat, "thank you so much, Tony," walking over to your purse, and scavenging through it. You pull out a fresh hundred-dollar bill, holding it in front of you, "I appreciate you guys so much!"
Tony's eyebrows raise and a confused, yet surprised look takes over his face, "you already paid by card, Ms. y/l/n."
You shake your head at him, "it's a tip. I had a lot of stuff to move, and you guys were available last minute. Here, Christmas is coming up soon." Knowing Tony had three young children at home, it was the least you could do. He had only talked about them the whole time he was moving all your belongings in. He ran a small moving business with his brother and father-in-law, and honestly you called all over the city, trying to find a moving company who would accept your proposition last minute. Tony was the only company with the availability, and that you were grateful for.
Knowing money was never a problem for you, you went out of your way to help others in need, whether it be giving a homeless man a hot meal or volunteering at the local food drive. It warmed your heart every time you did a good deed, hoping your act of kindness would go a long way for somebody, someday. Tony gives you an appreciative nod, taking the tip, and goes on his way.
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
It was almost seven o'clock at night. You decided unpacking was too much of a bother, so you ordered Chinese take-out instead. There you were, sprawled out on the floor of your empty living room, waiting on your dinner. You were still in the process of furnishing your newly bought home. A bit of a perfectionist, you'd sit on the floor for months until you found exactly what you wanted. Even though your financial state was never a problem, your parents still taught you the value of a dollar, which you were thankful for. Along with your father's amazing money management skills, you were set for life at the ripe age of twenty.
A loud knock on the door brings you back to reality. You knew your ring doorbell wasn't set up yet, so not being able to see who was knocking on your door made you feel uneasy, until you remembered your Chinese take-out. Not caring that the delivery man was going to see you in your superman pajama pants and a cropped tank top, you make your way over to the door, slinging it open. You don't make eye contact with him, instead you reach for your purse, fishing for cash again. Once you pull out a twenty-dollar bill and hand it to him, your eyes finally meet.
What a fine delivery man.
"I already paid for it," he croaks out, his voice getting stuck in his throat for a second. A confused look makes its way across your face as you and the strange delivery man, who apparently pays for people's food, look each other up and down. He clears his throat, "it got delivered to my house. Delivery guy seemed like he was in a rush,” he states, letting his eyes wonder around to the atrocious setting behind you.
“Oh shit, here,” you tell him shoving the twenty-dollar bill towards him, “thank you,” with one hand on the door, ready to grab your food, and close the door in his face. You didn’t care how handsome he was. You wanted to be by yourself, and also save yourself the embarrassment of your cute neighbor seeing you this rough looking. Spiderman pajama, c'mon.
“I was actually gonna eat it,” you watch as his face twists in amusement, “kidding. I’m Matt,” he introduces himself and holds out the brown paper bag your food is in.
“Y/n,” you tell him before taking the bag. Thankfully, it looked untouched. You didn’t know what it was but there was definitely something about this strange, adorable man, joking with you like he knew you already. It brought comfort to your night.
“I like that,” he shoots out, almost like word vomit. Before you can say anything, a cringe-like look spreads across his face, “I mean, it suits you.”
“Thanks,” you let out a giggle. A sudden wave of silence takes over both you, so you awkwardly come up with something to say, “I just moved in.”
“Yeah?” He asks, but it was obvious he already figured that part out. Considering that fact his eyes kept drifting to the empty living room behind you. Matt lets his eyes drift once again, but they finally fall on yours, locking you in. The two of you stay stuck in a trance for a moment, not saying a word.
A blush creeps up, heating your cheeks up a dark shade of red. You let your eyes fall to the floor and back up at him, only to see that his face matches yours. You clear your throat, “come in?” It’s a suggestion, but it comes out as a question.
Matt sucks in a sharp breath, nodding, as you step aside to let him walk in. You turn around and make your way to the kitchen, knowing the only furniture you have is the barstools, your bed, and a couple miscellaneous items. Setting the brown paper bag on the island, “sorry for the mess. It’s been a long day,” taking out two plates out of a box nearby. The only thing you had the energy to unpack earlier was your silverware drawer, so you open it and fetch two forks. Spinning around, and making you way to Matt, little did you know he was already watching your every move.
“I don’t have my furniture yet so we’re eating in here like real adults,” you joke, trying to break the ice. You quickly open the takeout containers of chicken lo mien and general tso’s chicken.
“I was just kidding,” he tells you, eyeballing the food like a starved man. “You eat,” he looks up at you. Those blue eyes had you drawn to him for some odd reason.
“Well, that’s the only reason I invited you in. You said you’re hungry, now eat,” you playfully order. He starts to say something, but his mind decides against it. He gives you a warm smile and nods, “thanks.”
“Any time,” you return the warm smile and take a seat next to him. “One minute,” you hold up a finger at him before running to the living room to retrieve your laptop.
Taking your spot next to Matt and setting your laptop in front of you. Big Mouth plays on the screen, but you don’t bother to change it. Probably the worst decision you made all night because the show was extremely perverted. You and your new neighbor sit in a comfortable silence while the tv show plays in the background.
“So,” he stretches out, “you’re from Boston?”
You shake your head, making sure to swallow your food before speaking, “well, yeah. I was born here but I’ve lived in Seattle since I was 12.”
“What made you move back?” The tone in his voice made you wonder if he was being genuine or just nosey. It was melancholy, that’s the best way to describe it. Like something was missing in his life, like he didn’t have anything to live for.
Taking a deep breath, you had to brace yourself every time he spoke. You didn’t know what it was or why it was happening, but Matt had a certain vibe to him, a vibe that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. All you knew is that you needed to figure out.
“It’s the city of love,” the words rolling off your tongue before you even realize you said them aloud. Matt looks at you for a moment, like he’s trying to read you. You match his energy, staring him down like he was doing to you, making Matt blinks a few times, attempting to look away but his mind won’t let hm.
“You really want to get your tongue underneath hers, too. Yeah, you want to get in there like a Claritin to just dissolve,” one the characters from Big Mouth sounds thru the kitchen, a bit too loud. Matt’s head snaps towards to screen, his face heats up dark red as he looks from the screen to you, basically snitching on himself.
For the millionth time tonight, your face matches his - red and flustered.
You and Matt chat for a while, making small talk about the love you both shared for Boston. He vowed to take you out to get more familiar with the city since you hadn't visited in years. Small talk turned into an hour's long conversations about everything under the sun, moon, and stars. You felt like you were catching up with somebody you had known for years. Eventually, Matt's eyes fall to his phone. 10:53 pm. He watches as you yawn, your elbow still propped on the table, and your head resting on it lightly. Big Mouth still plays across your computer screen, the perverted animation wasn't such a bad thing, you had forgot it was even playing. Matt gets up, taking your dishes over to the sink to rinse them off. The small act of kindness impresses you, taking him for the gentleman he truly is.
“Thanks for hanging out with me. I don’t know a lot of people here,” you tell him. In the beginning of the night, you wanted to stay in your solitude. It was an overwhelming day for you, and you weren’t expecting company. When Matt showed up at your door, you had no intentions of eating dinner with him, but you’re glad you did. His company gave you some type of comfort. Even though there wasn’t a lot said between you two, besides random chit-chat, you were grateful he interrupted your night.
Matt leans against the counter, “thanks for having me. I’m right next door so if you ever want to hang out,” he trails on, indicating he had a good night too.
“It’s the least I can do,” you tell him, “especially since you paid for it. Thanks again, by the way.” You weren’t used to having anyone, except your dad, pay for things. Even when you were with your ex, it was a routine you always paid for everything. It didn’t matter if it was dinner and a movie or something more expensive. Hell, you even got his car out of impound before, and that was easily seven hundred dollars. It all went unnoticed with him.
“Well, I seen you moving in earlier. I wanted to come over, but I didn’t want to be a bother,” he tells you, honesty lace through his voice. You walk over to him, leaning your body against the opposite counter. Superman pajamas pants and your cropped tank, you fold your arms over your chest to cover yourself from exposure. Not having a bra on made matters very noticeable.
Matt’s eyes trail over your body, taking in every inch of you. “So, you just wanted a reason to talk me?” your whisper-like tone sends chills down his spine, peppering his arms in goosebumps. He clears his throats and nods. A flirtatious smirk pulls at your lips, “I’m glad you did.”
“Yeah, me too,” the mood becomes softer, and he searches your face with his eyes.
Courage sparks through your core, and you decide to test the waters, “you want to kiss me, don’t you?”
Your questions take him by surprise, and you watch as Matt fixes his posture, fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket. He makes sure to keep his eyes locked on yours, “only if you want me to.”
You press your lips together, “do you think I do?” Being a tease was one of your many talents, you were best at it.
Matt’s eyebrows furrow together, and he thinks for a split second. “Y-yea, I think so,” he stutters over his words. It obvious you have a certain effect on him that makes him nervous. Or maybe it was the moment.
“Then what are you waiting for?”
That’s all you have to ask him before his hands shoot out, finding your waist, and pulling you towards him. Your face is inches away from his, and he leans in for a quick, yet hesitant, kiss. It only lasts a split second before Matt pulls away. His soft lips made you want more, so you smash your lips into his, a little rougher than anticipated. Matt snakes a hand around your waist, and the other travels up to cup for cheek.
Your lips move against his like two waves that had been separated for a lifetime. You make a fist of his shirt, trying to pull him in closer to you. This was the closest you had been to someone romantically since your ex. The kiss was something you had never experienced before, being with your ex for so long made the spark die out. You hadn’t been kissed like this in years and you were loving every minute of it, but you knew it had to end soon. You were running out of breath and trying to breathe through your nose with his face so close to yours was sucking it right out of you.
Matt is the one to break the heated kiss, finally pulling to look at you. “Woah," he's absolutely flustered, and you loved to see it.
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bimbo-academy · 19 days ago
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Bimbo Academy: Orientation Day
Please enjoy the first chapter of my first ever hypno story, Bimbo Academy!
Warning! This chapter has an induction with no awakener. If you're easily susceptible to that, I would not recommend reading this story.
The induction will be listed in pink.
Dialogue will be written in purple.
I hope you all enjoy!
“Deidre, could you come in here please?” 
Deidre hurried into her technical boss's office. 
For most people, this would be a terrifying ordeal. Their mind might run wild with possibilities of what was about to happen. Were they about to be fired? Demoted? Or worse, given extra tasks without the higher pay? 
But being the daughter of the CEO, Diedre didn’t have to worry about any of that. 
Diedre’s father had wanted to give her the company outright when she had first graduated college. She was supposed to be COO until her father was ready to retire, when she would then properly take over. 
But Deidre had insisted she start at the bottom. She wanted to rise the ranks on her own. Earn her way to the top instead of taking it like some sort of nepo baby. 
So far, she thought she had been doing a great job. 
She hoped her boss would agree. 
Deidre had been working at the office for six months. Hopefully, her boss was calling her in to discuss giving her a good performance review. 
“Yes, Miss Kathryn?” 
“Ah, Deidre. Please, sit.” 
Deidre quickly obeyed. She smoothed out her skirt and crossed her ankles, so she wouldn’t show Miss Kathryn anything inappropriate. 
“Deidre, let me start out by saying you’ve been doing a wonderful job in this position. You’re one of my hardest workers. You always get your work completed on time. You’re well organized, punctual, and professional.”
“Thank you, Miss Kathryn.” 
“I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and shared all of that with HR, and your father.” Miss Kathryn pulled out some papers and set them in front of her. “Your father, of course, was ecstatic. We had a small meeting, and we both thought it was high time to present you with a… special opportunity.”
Deidre nodded. Her father hadn’t said anything to her about this, but maybe he had wanted to make sure it went through the proper channels. 
“Have you ever heard of Brainbow Academy?”
Deidre shook her head. 
“Please, use your words Deidre.”
“I apologize. No, Miss Kathryn. I’ve never heard of it.” 
“It's a highly prestigious four month program. I believe one of your stepmothers went to it?”
Deidre wanted to laugh, but retained a professional composure. Most of her step-mothers were brain dead bimbos. She almost didn’t understand what her father saw in them. But he constantly told her that after her mother, and first stepmother, he couldn’t bear to lose another woman he truly loved. But then why would he want to go on to marry three more women, only to divorce them a few months later? At least her latest step mother had stuck around. She had to admit, Lana was secretly her favorite of her fathers recent wives. 
“Your father and I both think it would be an excellent idea for you to attend. Of course, it's ultimately up to you. But here’s the paperwork. Think about it over the weekend and get back to me, won’t you?” 
Deidre nodded and took the paperwork. “Thank you, Miss Kathryn.”
“Of course, Deidre. You may return to your duties now.” 
Deidre slid the papers into her messenger bag, and quickly returned to her work. 
That night, Deidre returned to the home she shared with her father, half brother, and their step mom, Lana. 
“Another day at the office?” Tommy, her half brother, asked. 
Deidre snorted. “Another day of doing nothing?”
“Hey! I do a lot of things! My influencer kingdom doesn’t run itself!”
Deidre rolled her eyes. Sure, her younger brother did have successful social media pages. But other than that he spent most of his days screwing around playing video games. Or screwing around with other guys. 
“Oh please. I bet all you did today was take a shirtless selfie and eat some pizza.”
“I had breadsticks too!” 
“Uh huh. I’m sure that was so strenuous for you.” 
Tommy playfully gives her the middle finger, then Lana called them down for dinner. 
They both trotted down the stairs and into the dining room. 
“There’s my wonderful family.” Deidre ignored her father grabbing Lana’s ass before sitting down for dinner. “How was everyone’s day?” 
“Good.” Deidre also ignored the Grindr notification going off on her brother’s phone. “Might have someone over tonight if that’s cool.”
“Of course. Just change the gate code when they leave.”
“Awesome. Thanks dad.”
“Of course. Deidre? How was your day? I heard you had a little meeting with Miss Kathryn.”
Deidre nodded. “Yeah. She recommended some sort of program I should attend?”
“Oh yes. Brainbow Academy. Lana actually did that program, didn’t you sweetheart?”
“Mhm!” 
Her father chuckled and kissed Lana’s hand. “I would love it if you attended Deidre. I think it would be extremely helpful for your future running the company. But of course, it’s all up to you.”
“I think I want to go. Although, I’m just confused about this one part of the paperwork? The ‘I consent to allowing Brainbow Academy to alter me in any way, whether it be physically, mentally, or spiritually?” 
“Oh, that just means they want to try and change your mindset! They also have some classes about how to dress more… professionally. That’s truly all it means.”
“Alright then. I suppose I’ll do it. I mean, I already know about most of that stuff, right?”
“Absolutely.”
After dinner, Deidre went back to her room, and officially signed the papers. 
A week later, Deidre arrived at her dormitory for Brainbow Academy. 
“Oh… interesting.” 
The dorm room was… unusual to say the least. There were two beds, but they were much larger than any other dorm bed she had ever slept in. They seemed much more comfortable than regular dorm beds as well. There also seemed to be much more storage than a typical dorm room. There was a large display cabinet, a desk with multiple drawers, and the nightstand drawers were the largest Deidre had ever seen. 
Well, it was an exclusive academy. Deidre was one of only twelve students that had been accepted for this semester. She knew it was only on recommendation from her father, Lana, and Miss Kathryn, especially since she had applied so close to the deadline. 
“Oh, wow,” 
She turned around and saw a young man, about her age, standing in the doorway. 
“I know, right? It's unusual to say the least.”
“It certainly is.” The young man set down his one box. “I’m Trevor. I guess we’re going to be roommates?” 
“Deidre. Do you need any help with the rest of your stuff?”
“Oh, uh… no. This, this is all I have.” 
“Oh! I’m, I’m sorry-I,’
“No no, it's ok.” Trevor sat down on his bed. “I’m just a light traveler I suppose.” 
Deidre nodded. She could tell something was weighing on Trevor's mind, but she didn’t want to press so early into their relationship. 
“We should unpack as much as we can. Orientation starts in half an hour.” He said. 
The two chit-chatted as they unpacked, Deidre’s things filling the room where Trevor’s was lacking. They were laughing together by the time they entered the lecture hall, which was more like a high school gym than anything else. They went to sit down next to each other, before someone grabbed the back of Deidre’s collar and pulled her back.
“Sorry, I want the end seat.” 
A bottle blonde girl sauntered to the other end. Diedre heard Trevor mutter ‘bitch’ underneath his breath. She playfully smacked him.
“Ouch! What was that for? It’s true!” 
Deidre rolled her eyes. They sat down a few seats away from the bottle blonde and watched the others file in. Deidre noticed that Trevor was the only boy present. She hoped it wouldn’t be too awkward for him. 
“Welcome students, welcome, welcome!” An older gentleman took the stage in front of them. “Welcome everyone. My name is Master Layton. Thank you all for joining us here. Now, I do want to apologise. I fear a lot of you have been misled about what it is we do here.” Master Layton held a small remote in his hand. He pressed a button, and small pieces of metal shot out of the seats, trapping everyone’s arms against their seats. 
“What the hell?” Deidre said. 
“I would now like to introduce my most lovely assistants, Bree and Gracie. Ladies?”
Two scantily clad women joined the man on stage. He pressed another button on his remote and a screen slowly descended from the ceiling. 
“Bree, Gracie, and I are going to be your professors for this semester. Of course we will have a few guest speakers come in, but for the most part you will be under our care.” 
The woman descended from the stage, and Deidre noticed they were each holding six pairs of headphones. 
“I also apologize for this rapid induction, but over the years I’ve found that it works best with large groups of people. Wouldn’t you agree, ladies?”
“Yes Master.”
The women spoke in an eerie harmony. Deidre had been struggling against the restraints, but now noticed Trevor had been perfectly still. 
“Trevor? Do you know what’s going on?” 
Trevor closed his eyes as one of the women placed a pair of headphones over his ears. He seemed… relieved?
Deidre didn’t understand. 
“Trevor? Trevor, no! No don't you dare put those on me! I dont con-”
The woman laughed, cutting her off. “But you already consented! You signed the papers, remember silly?”
Shit. Shit shit shit. 
She continued to struggle as the woman placed headphones over her ears. Master Layton pressed another button on his remote, and caused a black and white spiral to flicker to life on the screen. 
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
The voice coming through the headphones startled her. 
“What the hell is going on?”
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’ 
She looked all around. But for some reason, her eyes kept continuing to land on the spiral.
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’ 
Deidre continued to struggle against her restraints.
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’ 
She tried to get the headphones off, to no avail. 
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’ 
She tried to close her eyes. But somehow, she still saw the spiral. 
“I am a good boy. I will obey my master.”
She opened her eyes again. The voice hadn’t come from her headphones. 
“I am a good boy. I will obey my master.” 
The two ladies came and released Trevor from his bonds. They led him through a new door Deidre hadn’t noticed coming in. 
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’ 
Fuck. 
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.‘
One by one, more of the women in the room began to repeat the mantra. 
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’ 
One by one, they were led out of the room.
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
Soon it was just Deidre and the bottle blonde bitch. 
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’ 
“Shhh, its ok.” One of the women came and started petting Deidre’s hair. 
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
“Just give in. It’ll be so much better.”
No no no no no-
“You’re a good girl. You will obey our master.” The woman held her head, and forced her to look at the spiral.
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
“I am a good girl. I will obey my master.”
Deidre didn’t even notice when the words came out of her mouth. 
“Good girl. Just a few more minutes now.”
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
“I am a good girl. I will obey my master.”
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
“I am a good girl. I will obey my master.”
‘I am a good girl. I will obey my master.’
“I am a good girl. I will obey my master.”
“I am a good girl. I will obey my master.”
“I am a good girl. I will obey my master.” 
The women finally released Deidre from her bonds and took her through the door. 
“Good, good. Very good.”
“Thank you, Master.”
Master took Deidre’s head in his hands. 
“You’re going to be a good girl for me, aren’t you Dee?”
“Yes Master.”
Master kissed Dee’s forehead. 
“Good girl. Sleep now.”
Dee slumped over in the women’s arms.
58 notes · View notes
justmeinadaze · 1 year ago
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You Should Be Sad (Steddie X You)
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Part 1 Without Me
A/N: ENTER WITH CAUTION! Like my previous chapter THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL! Its angsty and dealing with dark themes of addiction. I WILL STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU CHOOSE TO SKIP THIS STORY!
Warnings: Toxic Steddie and reader! Even though in the bulk of this story they are on a healing journey a lot of their toxic behavior is discussed and expanded upon. ANGST, They are sober but they still haven't truly faced all of their demons. Eddie is a former drug addict and Steve is a former alcoholic. Their previous behavior is discussed and expanded upon including verbal abuse, Eddie ODing, and smacking the reader (its just the one time but it shakes them both).
Eddie does go visit his dad in jail and of course his dad is an asshole. Eddie talks about his trauma and what his mom went through. Steve does the same when it comes to his dad and how he made him feel.
Reader talks about her healing and how they were like her drug. She talks in detail about how they made her feel especially when Eddie ODed.
I think that's all the angst. Again DARK THEMES ARE EXPLORED HEAVILY! If that makes you uncomfortable I understand if you choose not to read!
SMUT, not rough in anyway, there's still love between them and they are much gentler with her here then in the last chapter. FLUFF, I did create a happy ending. I think they deserve that <3. Not all situations like this end badly.
Word Count: 11,371
 1991
“I, um, called her mom and she said she may be coming in but I don’t know.”, Steve sighed as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. 
“And if she doesn’t that’s alright. You’ve been doing really well, Steven. Compared to where you were three years ago after Y/N left.” The man grimly smiled towards the group counselor.
He hated thinking about that time in his life. After you three graduated school, they convinced you to move into an apartment with them. Being completely away from prying eyes didn’t make things any better. Steve drank more excessively and Eddie continued to snort heavy amounts of his drug. Their toxic behavior amplified and every day they watched your personality that they fell in love slowly fade. 
 Three years ago, you finally had enough. You didn’t notify them in any way or even go back to the apartment to pack a bag. You just got in your car and ran from Hawkins. 
Losing you shook them to their core. A week after you disappeared, Steve went to the station and told Hopper about the accident he had caused senior year that got you hurt. They charged him for the DUI and fleeing the scene but instead of any prison time the chief got him into a rehab program. After six months of in-patient treatment, he was released for continued out-patient rehab therapy. He had been sober ever since but every day was hard. Due to his record no one wanted to hire him even though he was a Harrington so he ended up having to work at his dad’s firm. 
With everything that happened, his dad became almost worse, constantly reminding him of his failures. Every time he said something condescending or Steve had that strong urge to drink, he would look at the photo he had of you three on his desk and remind himself why he was trying to be better. 
***
His uncle watched Eddie with cautious eyes as he took an obnoxiously big bite of the burger in front of him. 
“Wayne, if you stare at me any harder you’re going to burn a hole through my brain.”
The man laughs as he takes a sip from his glass of water. He knew his nephew was allowed to drink but chose not to for his roommate’s sake. Wayne didn’t want to make that choice any harder than he was sure it was so whenever he spent the afternoon with him he would drink anything but.
“How’s therapy goin’?”
“It’s, uh, it’s going.”, Eddie sighs. “We’ve been talking a lot about Allen lately. She…she thinks I should go to the prison and confront him. Face my fears so to speak. I told her I’m not afraid of him—” His uncle’s scoff cut him off. “What? I’m not.”
“Ed…you went through a lot as a kid. I don’t know how much you remember but—”
“I remember all of it.”
“Ok, I’m just saying, when someone goes through what you went through at such a young age…it’s ok to still…be afraid.” Eddie glares down at his plate as his uncle continues. “You’re not like him, son. Yeah, you fucked up but you’re trying. My brother gave up way before he ever went in.”
The boy’s jaw tightened as he tried to keep his emotions in check. 
“I hurt her, Wayne. That night I… I was out of control. You should have seen the way she looked me…after I…It was how mom looked him.”
***
You stared at the Hawkins road sign from your parked car as you wiped the tears from your eyes. You had been gone for three years and when you originally left you told yourself you were never coming back. The night you ran was the beginning of your own personal rehab purging you of them. You desperately needed to get away from their toxicity after what happened. 
About a year after you left, you received a call from a doctor at a rehab center a few hours outside of Hawkins asking if you would be willing to come be a part of Steve’s 12 step rehabilitation program. He needed to make amends and so far only Eddie and his mom participated. You declined at the time feeling there was no point. Steve was never consistent when it came to being sober. 
Every year you got a call but this year you were surprised when your mom asked you to take part as well. 
“Steve talked about your accident and apologized for his behavior. Y/N, he seemed so sincere. I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable coming back but it really did help me hearing him apologize especially after he’s continued to be sober. Maybe it can be a bit healing for you to.”
Eddie’s uncle kept your mom updated on his progress but amends were a lot harder for him. It wasn’t just that he was afraid to face that guilt but he felt like he still wasn’t strong enough to handle that emotion. 
You spent the last three years on a type of spiritual journey; traveling the world and having experiences of your own that didn’t include Eddie and Steve. You made a lot of new friends and got into a healthy relationship or two. You were living in the moment and for once you were extremely happy…well…happier.
Even you knew at some point you would have to come back here to Hawkins. Not just to see your family but to face the memories and everything you had been through. You needed to heal and if facing them in this controlled setting would do that then so be it.
###########
“Eddie, it’s ok.”, the counselor soothed as he watched the metalhead’s leg bounce anxiously. 
“Yeah, no. I’m just a little nervous. Is-Is she really coming?”
On cue, there’s a tiny knock on the man’s office door as the receptionist slowly opened it to tell him you were here. The boys watched as he poked his head through and said a few words to you before leading you into the room.
It took every fiber of their being not to get up and run to you, lift you in their arms, and kiss your lips. It had been three years and you were even more beautiful than they remembered. Your hair was a bit shorter and wherever you had been you were obviously constantly being kissed by the sun. You had gained a bit of weight which was good because when you were with them you barely ever ate anything since you were always in a constant state of panic worrying about them. What they wouldn’t give to see you smile again. 
Your arms remained hugged around your chest as the person in charge guided you to a seat across of them. They both looked different and, to be honest, unrecognizable to you sober. They carried a different air that made you wonder had you run into them anywhere else would you have even recognized them? Eddie still had his long hair and clean face but his eyes had more of a hollow ring around them as if he hadn’t slept in three years. Instead of the heavy metal garb you expected him to be in, he was wearing clothes that resembled his uncle’s style down to the beige colored boots. 
Steve looked like a younger version of his father and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t hurt you for him. He was wearing a suit with the sleeves rolled to his elbows as the jacket rested on the arm rest behind him. His beautiful brown hair was now wild as if he didn’t have the energy to style it anymore. Even the slight facial hair that dusted his upper lip and along his jaw line screamed that he was too exhausted to put in that extra effort. 
“Y/N, I just want to start this by saying this is a safe space, okay? You can say anything you want and there is no judgement. Usually, we do this one at a time but I thought it might be easier for you to do this with them both here.”
“You cleared it with her first right? You told her we both would be here?”
The doctor glanced over at Steve sympathetically. “Yes, I did. I wouldn’t have pushed her if she felt unsafe to be in a room with you both.”
“I do feel unsafe.” All eyes turned to you. “I…I still feel like this isn’t real. That you two are going to leave this place and go back to your apartment to do what you do best.”
“That’s fair.”, Eddie nodded as his gaze shifted towards the floor. “We had always tried to get clean but could never succeed.”
“Pfft, tried.”, you scoffed angrily as your arms hugged your body tighter.
“Go ahead, Y/N. Get it all out here. They can’t make amends if they don’t hear everything.”
“See, that’s the thing, sir. They did hear everything. I said it over and over again since high school but they ignored me and focused on themselves. It’s kind of ironic to be in a relationship with two men yet still feel lonely and unheard!”
Silence falls heavily over everyone and after a few moments the counselor clears his throat. “Steven, why don’t you go ahead?”
“I, uh, don’t know if your parents told you but I came clean about the accident. I took accountability, Y/N, like you had always wanted me to and I am so…so sorry I didn’t do that sooner. I almost killed you and…I don’t know why that wasn’t enough of a wakeup call for me but I’m still learning. I’m still…fuck…I’m sorry, Y/N. I know no amount of apologizing will make up for that or how I treated you but I think about you every day. Every day I wake and I fight to be a better man. It’s so fucking hard but—”
He pauses when he notices you staring out the window trying to control the tears that had begun to fall, turning towards the man in charge helplessly.
“What’s running through your mind, Y/N?” You shake your head but he continues to try and urge you to speak. 
“I’m just wondering…why wasn’t I enough?”
“Honey—”
“No. NO. Don’t you fucking dare, Steve Harrington.” Angerly you wipe your eyes as you turn your body to fully face him. “Waking up every day is hard for you? Good. Now you know what it was like for me for all those years. I woke everyday knowing you were going to be drunk or Eddie was going to be high. The fun part was the gamble of which men I was going to get that day. The doting boyfriends or the abusive dickheads.” 
Eddie flinched at your last sentence making you sarcastically laugh. 
“And I notice you’re still really fucking quiet over there. You may hate hearing it, Ed, but it’s true. I’ve told you before and looking at you two now I see it more than ever. You are both exactly like your fathers!” 
“I’m sorry.”, the metalhead whispered. 
“For what, Eddie?! This is amends right? Make them!”
The doctor heard Steve sigh as his head turned from you both. “Steven, what was that?”
“Nothing.”
“No, not nothing. Use the feelings chart if you need to.” 
You and Eddie roll your eyes at the same time.
“Jesus Christ, I’m angry.”
“At who? At Y/N?”
You see the answer in his face and it throws you off guard as you wait for him to explain. 
“He’s angry with me.”, Eddie heavily growls under his breath.
“Why is that?”
“Take your pick.”, the metalhead responds for him. “We got drunk and high together. I never tried to stop him nor did I ever stop him from cheating on Y/N which was hypocritical because I accused her of cheating on us all the time. I’m the one that convinced him to leave her at the accident and I’m the reason…”
“Oh, don’t stop now, Munson. You’re on a roll.”, Steve sassed.
“You’re as much to blame for her leaving as I am.”
The boy turned on his friend rising to his feet as Eddie did the same. 
“You’re the one that ODed on our floor!”
“And you’re the one that was so drunk you passed out on the couch and didn’t even wake up till after the ambulance was long gone!”
“You’re the one that fucking HIT HER!”
The room went quiet again as what they both were saying hung in the air. 
“Can we stop for the day, please?” Your small voice slices the tension in half as the counselor nods and stands to take your hand so he can lead you out. 
Eddie doesn’t say a word as he gathers his things and flies past everyone out the door towards his van before skidding away. 
“He is doing a lot better. They both are but Edward seems to struggle more when it comes to facing that part of his trauma.”
“He never wanted to be like his dad. That was one of his biggest fears.”, you sigh.
“Thank you for coming by. I would like to try this again with them and you. Whenever you’re ready of course.”
############
You sip your coffee as you sit in the booth at the diner a few blocks from your house. You had so much trouble falling asleep as all the anxieties of seeing them and being back here hit you like a ton of bricks. After what happened today, you weren’t sure if you could do another session with them but you were surprised by how it unfolded. You had so many questions about the past but new revelations gave you new things you wanted to ask. Had Steve always blamed Eddie for the things that happened? Did Eddie blame himself? They both seemed more agitated and angrier then when they weren’t sober. Why? Was it because you left or were there things they hadn’t faced yet?
“Hey Sally. Can I have some coffee please?” As you looked up from your beverage your eyes locked with Steve’s weary ones. “Hey, um, I’m just getting some caffeine and then I’ll be gone so…”
“Couldn’t sleep either?”, you asked causing him to exhale a breathy chuckle.
“Um, kind of. Eddie didn’t come home so I’ve been looking for him. Sometimes when he’s stressed he hides and smokes like a carton of cigarettes before heading to work the next morning. I still haven’t found out where he goes.”
“You two don’t go to the pool anymore?” He shook his head before thanking the waitress as she hands him his to go cup. “I may know where he is. I found him there once when his dad sent him a letter from jail. I…I can show you.”
“Oh, hon- Y/N, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
After sliding out of the booth, you threw some money on the table and sauntered past him as you walked out the front door. 
“If anything, I’m more comfortable doing this than the group therapy bullshit.”
***
Steve sighed when his friend’s van came into view in the driveway of an old run down home.
“How did you know he’d be here?”
“This is where he lived with his parents when he was a boy. He told me once he felt closer to his mom here.”
To the other boy’s surprise, the front door wasn’t locked as you swung it open with no problem. 
“Hey! Get the fu—fuck me. Hey, Y/N. What are you both doing here?” Eddie had quickly risen from the long-abandoned couch when you two had come in.
“I’ve been looking for you for a while, Ed. She volunteered to show me where you might be.”
“Why?” You don’t say anything as your eyes scan him over. “Well, I’m here. I’m safe. I’m fucking sober.” He flashes you both his vest pockets before turning in a circle to show you everything else. “So, you can go back home.”
“Why are you so angry?” Your tone was anything but subtle and slightly loaded with contempt as he tilted his head at your question. “You both seem more on edge now than before I left but especially you Eddie. Why?”
His face flashes through multiple emotions before finally deciding to be honest instead of shutting down. 
“I feel the same way he does. It’s my fault that everything happened. It’s my fault…you left. I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“I don’t know about that.”, you grumble as you cross your arms. “I think you should feel bad about our time together… you and Steve. I think you deserve to be happy but you have to feel what I went through first before you can and it seems like at this moment that frightens you both but especially you.”
“Y/N, look at me! Him and I have fucking crawled our way to sobriety. Steve confessed to the accident and I talked to my uncle like you wanted. We both went to rehab and talked about our feelings and shit. We suffer every fucking day to be better! I mean…”
“I wanted accountability, Eddie. I’m proud of you two for how far you’ve come and owning up to your mistakes. I really am but you both are still avoiding the reason you turned to your vices; the reason you treated me like garbage. I carried your burdens for you for almost 7 years. It’s time for you to face them and move forward. Be happy.”
“Are you happy?”, Steve asks from behind you.
“I’m happier than I was… I still struggle with my self image and identity without you two.” 
“I’m sorry I don’t understand. We always thought you were way stronger than we ever were. That you had your own powerful identity.”
“Which is why we always thought at some point you would realize you were too good for us or…or someone else would see that and take you away.”, Eddie sighed, disappointed in himself. 
“I almost died but still stayed yet Eddie almost died and that was enough for me to run.”, you shrug as your voice cracks. “You two were my everything. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you. You were my vice.”
###########
“Where the fuck have you been?!”
“Jesus, Eddie. I was with my mom and I told you both that!”
“Really? You were with your mom until 10pm?!”
“YES! What do I have to do to prove to you, Eddie Munson, that I don’t want anyone else!!”
The metalhead rolled his eyes as he took a seat at the table and snorted the powder he had separated on top of it. 
“Maybe, if you followed through and stop doing this bullshit you’d actually fucking hear me.”
“Watch your mouth, Y/N or I swear to God—”, he warned as he stood up again. 
“You’ll what? Inhale another line and call me a whore?”
“Stop being a whore and I won’t call you one.”
You sarcastically laughed in his face. “Well gee Ed. I need someone to satisfy me since you or your drunken partner in crime can barely seem to get it up anymore!”
Your eyes snapped open as his ringed hand flew across your face, panting as you tried to catch your breath. It had been a while since you had that dream but you thought about that night often; the night he crossed that line. You could still feel the sting of the metal against your skin but what always stuck with you was Eddie’s face after. He regretted it immediately; not even the drugs could block out that. 
You had turned and left without saying a word, crying in your car as you drove around Hawkins trying to clear your head. What always stuck with you in your journey to healing was that at the time even that wasn’t enough for you to leave. Yes, you left the apartment but you had every intention of coming back. Hell, you did! That’s when things really got worse. 
A sudden knock on your bedroom door startled you but what startled you even more was who was on the other side after you granted them entry. 
“Hey, um, I hope I didn’t wake you up or anything.”, Eddie grumbled as he stepped inside.
“No, no you didn’t.”
An awkward silence hung in the air as his eyes swiveled around the room. Memories clung to everything and the bad ones pierced his heart. 
“Look, uh, I know I don’t have any right to ask you for anything but, um, my therapist has been wanting me to visit the prison to see my father because she thinks it will help me. I don’t see how but… I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night…about accountability and facing my burdens…”
“Why are you telling me this, Ed?”
A heavy exhale escapes his lips as he runs his fingers frustratingly through his hair. 
“Will you come with me to see him?” Eddie’s eyes find yours and you see something within them that you’ve seen a million times before but as he speaks again you realize this is the first time he’s acknowledging it. “I’m scared, Y/N. I don’t think…I don’t know if I can do this alone…”
Sighing yourself, you nod and he smiles before leaving you alone so you can change. 
***
“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”, you ask as you both wait at the police station booth for them to bring out his father.
“I honestly can’t remember. I want to say since he went in but I know Wayne visited him a lot and I may have gone with him a time or two.” His knee anxiously jumps as he lights another cigarette, flicking the excess ash into the tray in front of him. “Thank you for coming with me.”
As you flash him a small smile, the door on the other side of the glass bangs open as they bring out his father and place him in front of you both. 
“Edward! Good to see you, kid. I don’t think I’ve seen you since you were like six or seven!”
“No, that’s not right. Mom would have been alive and you went in a year after she died when I was ten.”
“Oh. Well shit. You were always small for your age.”, his father dismisses him as he lights his own cigarette.
You had never seen or met Eddie’s dad but seeing him now was giving you some insight into why the metalhead was the way he was. Eddie was about ten years old when you first met him and Steve. He was always really quiet at first and if his father was the same way then as he was being now, then you understood why. 
“So, how can I help you today, son? I assume you’re here because you need something. A new hook up maybe? Rumors around town say there was a few times you and that Harrington kid almost ended up sharing a cell with me!”, he chuckles. “Why are you hanging out with that preppy asshole anyway? Upper class like the Harringtons don’t give a shit about lower class trash like us.”
It was instinct really; a long-forgotten reflex that had been dormant for three years. You reached out to hold Eddie’s hand as his dad spewed his cruelty. The metalhead didn’t visibly react but your gesture of kindness calmed him.
“I’m not trash and I’m nothing like you.”, he growled. 
“Oh really?” His father folded his arms sarcastically as he leaned forward. “You’re like Wayne now, huh? Work at the plant, call every beautiful piece of ass sweetheart. Hell, you even dress like him now.” He snarkily laughs as he lights a new cigarette. “You can dress and act any way you want to, boy, but no matter what, my genes are still a part of you. You’ll always be…a trash Munson.”
“Half.” His father’s eyes swing towards you. “Half of a Munson but thankfully its mostly the good half. The other half is his mother. They both deserved better than you.”
Blowing smoke towards the window he scoots a little closer to your side. 
“You must be Y/N. You know… you remind me a lot of my wife. She was beautiful, kind, loyal to a fault—”
“Then why did you hurt her?”, Eddie asked.
“Why do you?”, his dad snapped. Eddie knew he meant you and it killed him. “If anything, you’re worse than me because if I had driven home drunk and almost killed your mother she would have left me right then and there!” He glances your way. “You’re weak like him…aren’t you little girl?”
It was your turn to cheekily square your shoulders as you leaned forward so close that if there wasn’t glass in the way your noses would have touched. 
“You say he’s weak but he’s not the one behind bars. He’s sober and coming from a woman who knows what a man on drugs looks like I’m surprised they haven’t figured you out yet. You call him weak but the truth is you are. That’s why you never got better or tried to stay out of jail. That’s why you hurt him and his mom. Because even when he was a kid he was more of a man than you will ever be.” 
Tugging on Eddie’s hand, you pulled him to his feet. 
“Come on. I’m not going to let him keep talking down to you.”
Without a word, he followed you out without even so much as a cursory glance towards his father. 
***
You two sat silently in the driveway of your house. The street was quiet as everyone was still either at work or school. 
“I’m sorry.”
Eddie chuckled as he looked your way. “What do you have to be sorry for?”
“Eddie…even at your worst…you were nothing like him.”
His long hair whipped from side to side as he shook his head. 
“Y/N, he may have said a lot of bullshit but he was right about one thing… You were…ARE an amazing woman. Even when we were little I was always afraid that someone was going to take you away. Then as we got older and I got worse…I thought you were going to leave. Y/N, you don’t understand, I believed it so deeply that it was almost like an obsession to catch you hurting me. To prove myself right and you wrong; to villainize you so it wouldn’t hurt so fucking bad.”
His chocolate his shift towards the window as he continues. 
“Jokes on me. It still hurt like a motherfucker when I woke up in the hospital and Steve told me you were gone. Y/N, I am so fucking sorry for what happened that night. I—”
As he turned his head to face you, your lips cut him off. Hearing him talk about his feelings and you the way he was, thrust you back into your old mindset. He was hurting and he needed you. Truth be told you needed him to desperately and that was more than evident when you climbed over the middle console to straddle his lap. 
Eddie’s sober mind was screaming for him to stop, to push you off him because he didn’t want to be responsible for your pain again. But he missed you so much and how could he deny you when it appeared like you were hungry for him to make you feel better to?
Pushing up off his lap, you slid off your pants as he adjusted his seat to lean back so you wouldn’t hit your head on the ceiling. Eddie hastily pushed down his own jeans allowing his cock to spring free before spitting in his hand and stroking it along his length. 
You both groaned as you slowly descended onto him, gripping his shoulders as he took hold of your waist. No one except Steve fit perfectly inside of you like Eddie did. Even as he stretched you out, that familiar feeling of him gliding almost seamlessly through your walls till you felt your lap connect with his was almost too much. 
“Fuck, Eddie.”
He didn’t say a word as you began rolling your hips, his jaw going slack as he absorbed the feeling of you he never thought he would experience again. 
Your hands gripped his neck as you bounced roughly on top of him, his warm breath fanning your face as he panted against your lips. As his eyes locked with yours, you hoped he couldn’t see the tears that threatened to fall. Even though you were angry with them, the truth of the matter was that you still loved them. 
Even though they had hurt you all the time and made your life in the past hell, you still craved them. To you they were the lucky ones. There was a rehab and program for people with their addiction. Where do you go when your addiction is a person you love with all heart and then some? It added to your anger over the past three years and anytime you thought about them it made you furious with yourself. 
“You’re weak just like him…aren’t you little girl?”
Eddie’s eyebrows knitted together when he saw you shake your head and lean against his shoulder as you tried to ride him harder. There was something you were keeping from him but he didn’t dare ask. All he could do was thread his fingers through your hair as he pressed you closer to him while he thrust his hips up to meet yours.
“Everything’s ok, sweetheart.  You’re ok.”, he whispered in your ear. “Fuck—cum, baby, please.”
Pulling your head back, you placed your forehead on his own as your eyes squeezed shut and you came harder than you had in a long time. 
“God damn. C-Can I cum inside you?” Right as you gave him your permission, his hands gripped your sides, guiding your motions as he grunted and you felt him release his seed inside of you. The two of you sat still, your heavy breathing the only sound filling the tiny, enclosed space. 
All of a sudden, you felt like you couldn’t hold it in anymore as you fell against his broad chest and began to sob. Unsure of what to do, he acted on instinct, responding the way he used to after you two would fight and you would cry. 
“Sweetheart…FUCK! I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.” He tries to hug you but you shove him away. “Baby, please. Let me make it up to you. Let me hold you.”
As your head hung and your shoulders shook, the last of your resolve faded away and he took the opportunity to lift you in his arms, carrying you to his bed so he could cuddle you. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re too good for me, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“Eddie…what do I have to do…to show you that I love you both and ONLY you both?”
“Nothing, baby. I know. It’s the blow…Fuck…you deserve better. I swear, I’m never taking another hit. I hated seeing you be afraid of me…”
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I think about that night every day. Every time I have a craving or…I just remember the way you looked at me after I…”
“After you what?” You tilted back to look at him as you waited for his answer. When Eddie shifted his gaze away from you, you sarcastically chuckle as you reached over to grab your pants and keys, opening the driver’s side door as you climb out. “That’s ok, Ed. You’ve had enough accountability for one day.”, you hiss as you slam it closed and stomp inside. 
###########
Steve grumbles under his breath as he asks the waitress for a cup of coffee. Eddie had come home that day in a bad mood and slammed his bedroom door before the sound of heavy metal filled his bedroom as he angrily strummed at his guitar. 
He knew he wasn’t going to be getting much sleep tonight and his dad had been on his ass about reports he was “behind” on so Steve figured he could utilize the time to go to his office to get some work done. 
As he turned to leave, he spotted your sad frame in the same booth you were in a few nights before as you sullenly stared out the window. He should have left you alone but he couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach that told him to make sure you were alright. 
“Couldn’t sleep again?”
Steve expected you to be startled by him with how deep in thought you seemed to be but when you half smiled and turned to face him, he couldn’t help but tilt his head. It almost seemed like you were waiting for him; expecting him to show up. 
“Something like that. What about you?”
“Uh, same. I thought I’d go to the office a bit and utilize the energy to get some work done.”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at your watch. “At 11 pm?”
“Yeah.”, he laughs. “My dad’s anger and disappointment operate outside of normal timeframes so…” Steve smiles as he raises his cup in your direction. “I’ll, um, leave you to it.”
As he turns to leave, however, he notices you nod and hug you’re your arms around your body. You always used to do that when you were trying keep yourself from falling apart. 
“Steve, seriously, you’re not going to be able to wake up for work tomorrow if you finish that bottle.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. I know my limits ok!? Get off my fucking back!”, he slurs as he heads for the couch. His eyes glance over you as your arms wrap around you. “Honey…I’m okay. Trust me.” You wince at his words. Trust me. If there were two people in the world who couldn’t be trusted, it was them. 
He rolls his eyes as he throws himself down on the sofa. 
“Whatever. Go mother someone else.”
“You absolutely don’t have to but would you like to come hang out with me? We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. You can sit there while I pretend to know what I’m doing.”
You laugh. You actually genuinely laugh and Steve feels like an arrow pierced his chest. God, he missed that sound. 
***
“Uh, just ignore the mess here.”, he mumbles as shuffles some papers aside and slides a chair over for you to sit in. Before he can hide it, your eyes notice the picture of you three on his desk. “Yeah, let me just move that—”
“It’s ok. You can leave it there.” He nods as he begins to focus on things in front of him. “How much of that day do you remember?”
Steve smirks as he pretends to write on the documents in front of him. 
“It’s one of the few days I actually do from beginning to end. Probably because the amusement park at the time didn’t allow alcohol and they confiscated my flask.”, he laughs but there’s a sadness behind it. “We took you there for your birthday and I don’t think you stopped smiling once.”
“Steve, do you really blame Eddie for everything?”
The man sighed at your abrupt question as he leaned back in his chair. “For everything? No. For you leaving? Yes. Y/N, I almost fucking killed him when I found out he put his hands on you.”
“What the fuck did you do, Edward Munson?!”
“I-I-I—”
“She just ran past me in the hallway and sped off when I tried to stop her. WHAT. HAPPENED?!”
“Steve, I didn’t mean to…I-I-I got so mad…”
Steve angrily grabbed his collar and yanked him up till his face was level with his. “Did you touch her? Did you fucking hit her, EDDIE!?”
Something in the metalhead’s eyes changed as he shoved his friend backwards off of him. 
“Don’t act like your God’s gift to boyfriends, Steven! Let’s not forget YOU almost fucking killed her!” Eddie marched into the bedroom and slammed the door while Steve furiously punched the wall before heading to the fridge to grab a beer.
“Him popping me isn’t why I left. When I drove off after you chased me, I had always planned on coming back…” You looked away as you tried to shake the memory. “Why do you work here? I figure with you trying to be sober this would be the worst place for you to be.”
“You would figure correctly.”, he exhales as he looks around. “Uh, after I turned myself in, no one wanted to hire me. I was too much of a liability so my dad gave me this wonderful slice of heaven.” You smile at his sarcasm. “Every day is hard but I’m doing the work. The group therapy helps as well as my amends.”
“Did you father ever participate in that?”
“Pfft, no. My father hasn’t changed, Y/N. If anything, he’s worse and makes sure to remind me every day that I’m a fuck up to our name.”
“You were never a fuck up, Steve.”
His honey eyes scan you over before he beams in your direction and flashes you some of his paperwork. “I don’t know. Have you ever tried going through this bullshit? It’s so mind numbing you may accidently fuck up!”
As he continues to work, he walks you through what he’s supposed to do and exactly how his dad wants it done. Steve can’t help but revel in this feeling of you being so close to him again and helping him. 
When he first met you in elementary, you were always so kind to him and Eddie. Sometimes he would come to school and the teacher would snap at him because he didn’t do his homework the night before. When you asked him about it, he would tell you that he didn’t understand the material and his father wouldn’t help him. 
“He says I’m stupid and I should know all this stuff by now.”
“Steve, you’re not stupid. How are you supposed to know it when we just learned it?”
From that point forward, both boys came over to your house to study and have you walk them through the material. Eddie said you always made it easy. As they got older though, Steve skated by on his popularity while Eddie settled with doing the bare minimum. They thought you didn’t know but you were highly aware that they would copy your answers on assignments all the time. 
When Steve had started drinking, he always smelled heavily like whatever was in his flask at the time so as he got worse it was harder and harder for you to be around him. He hated seeing you cringe every time he pulled you to his side. 
Now that he was sober, he smelled like a mix of cologne and the office space he worked in with a hint of his roommate’s cigarette smoke that you imagine constantly hung in the air. 
“Ok, let me put these on his desk and then I can walk with you back to our cars.”
You followed him to his father’s office, giggling under your breath at the obnoxiousness of it. It was way too big for one man and had a massive swanky office chair to match his comically large desk. On the walls, he had awards hung along with pictures of him with clients. 
“No pictures of you or your mom?”
“Oh, my mom made the shelf.”, he answers sassily as he points towards the bookshelf beside him. “Not too many though, just in case the newest side piece comes to visit.”
You come to his side as your eyes search through the photos.
“Where are you?”
“No, no, honey. I don’t get a photo. I’m the Harrington that crashed a car and almost killed a young girl. Can’t really make small talk about that when his associates come by.”
“Steve…”
“I mean, it’s fine.” He shoves his hands in his pockets as he looks towards his feet. “He’s right. I’m an embarrassment. I left the woman I love to bleed out in an accident that I caused because I was too fucking drunk to see straight.” With his hand, he gestures around the office. “I deserve this.”
Once more, instinct takes over logic as you tilt up on your toes and crane your neck to find his lips. It so odd tasting him now that his mouth and breath weren’t basted in bourbon or beer. The best way to describe his new taste is what could have been. The life you three could have had if he and Eddie had never found their vices. 
When you start to pull away his palms quickly cup your face bringing you back to him. His kisses came quick and passionate as he backed you towards his father’s desk, lifting you up, and placing you onto it. Rising your hips, you allowed him to remove your sweats and panties as you reached forward to fumble with his belt. 
When his cock sprang free, you wasted no time as you spit into your hand and massaged it into your cunt before he guided himself into you sex. 
Steve grunted at the feeling of you tightly clinging to him again, doing everything he could to not just cum right now. He was completely lost in you as he reached behind your back and shoved everything on to the floor without a second thought. 
You promptly laid down flat and he followed you, his mouth clinging to your neck as he thrust his hips against yours. 
“S-Steve…Oh my god…”, you whimpered as you ran your nails through his hair and under his shirt. It had been so long since he made anyone feel good in anyway. His parents hated him, people in town always side eyed him, and Eddie was just as miserable as he was. Hearing you moan his name in pleasure, drove him wild as he hoisted you further up the desk and fully climbed on top of you. 
The desk jostled underneath as Steve rolled his hips, practically punching the air out of your lungs as his fingers tangled in your hair. 
“F-Fuck, I’m gonna…”
Your pussy tightened around him as the coil in your tummy snapped and he mewled as your nails clawed at his skin. His head shot up to look in your eyes and you nodded at the unspoken question within them.
Steve’s lips connect with yours and after a few more rough thrusts he spills inside of you. 
“Are…are you ok?”, he asks as he leans up on his elbows. When you nod, he softly smiles as he brushes away some hair in front of your face. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry for the accident, for abandoning you, my behavior when I was drunk.”
“What about the behavior, Steve? How much of it do you really remember?”
“I remember screaming at you a lot and calling you names. I called you a whore more than once—”
“Even though you cheated on me.”
Steve’s jaw tightened as he gradually pulled out of you and sat in his father’s chair, handing you your clothes that had been tossed onto the floor. 
“I was a fucking prick.”
“How much of the night of the accident do you remember?”
“I remember the car flipping and Eddie pulling my arm, telling me to run—”
“What about the night he ODed?”
“I-I…he…he hurt you and then tried to block it out by snorting his drug…”
“And where were you?” You chuckle when he looks at you with a bewildered look on his face. “He’s right, you know. You are just as much to blame for me leaving as he is. You can’t make amends, Steve, if you keep blaming Eddie for everything.”
###############
Without an invitation, your mother barged into the boy’s apartment as soon as Steve opened the door to her knock. 
“Mrs. Y/L/N? Is everything alright?”
She didn’t answer as she opened Eddie’s door without knocking. 
“Hey! The fuck?” The metalhead quickly rose to his feet following her out into the living room. 
Steve tried to grab her arm to get her attention and she promptly turned around, allowing her palm to connect with his cheek.
“Where is she? What did you two do?!”
“Where is who? What is going on?”, Eddie asked completely confused. 
“My daughter didn’t come home last night and we can’t find her anywhere! I lost my baby for 3 years because of you two! Now if you know where she is tell me NOW!”
“We swear, Mrs. Y/L/N. If we knew we would tell you.”
She shakes her head as she marches towards the door before pausing and turning to face them. 
“If I had known what was really going on at the time, I never would have let you both into my house or near my daughter. If I had known that you were the reasons her self esteem was so low…the real reason she cried so much…the reason why you almost took her away from me forever!”, she roared as she pointed at Steve. “I would have killed you two myself. I shouldn’t have convinced her to come back. You both are a poison.”
With that she left them, slamming their front door for emphasis. Steve slowly heads into his room and grabs his car keys as he lightly tugs Eddie’s sleeve.
“Come on. I think I know where she might be.”
***
“I’m sorry, Munson.”
The metalhead tossed the butt of his cigarette out into the passing street as he rolled up the window. 
“No reason for you to be.”
“No, no. You were right. I’m as much a reason for how things ended up as you are. I just… the hardest thing for me is trying to figure out why all this happened. When Y/N breaks she says the same thing, ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’. I ask myself that all the time but struggle with the truth…so I blamed you.”
“She came with me the other day to see Allen. He insinuated it was in my genes. I’m meant to be a fuck up who hurts her.” He smiles softly as he continues. “She said I had more of Wayne and my mother’s genes.” They both lightly chuckle as Eddie fiddles with the ring on his finger. “Truth is, Harrington, I think we let our father’s win. Like she said, we spent our entire lives being afraid to become them that we became the very things were afraid of.”
“I was terrified to face the things we did to her. I was terrified…of knowing and accepting that I made her feel the way my dad made me feel growing up.”
“Yeah, man. Me to. That’s…that’s why what happened that night happened. There wasn’t enough blow in the world to numb the pain of me physically hurting her, Steve.”
***
When they pulled up to the elementary school, you were sitting on one of the swings with your head against the chain. This is where they first met you, on the playground when they were kids. As they walked towards you, you didn’t move or make indication to acknowledge their presences.
Steve stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he smelled it, whiskey. 
“Y/N, sweetheart? Are you alright? Your mom said you didn’t come home last night.”
As he knelt down to your level, Eddie noticed the ring of redness around your nose and the dilation in your eyes. 
“You two aren’t supposed to be here.”, you slurred. 
“Neither are you, honey. Come-Come on, we need to get you home.”
As Steve finally stepped closer, you held up your foot to stop him and pushed Eddie backwards. 
“You know, the alcohol I kinda got but with the drugs…watching what it did to you, Ed, I was like…why would he do this…it can’t be that great… After trying it myself… Hehe…I feel nothing.”, you giggle.
“Baby…”
“Usually when I get sad… I just cry it out…maybe fuck some sexy guy but do you know what’s really kept me going for three years? Knowing…that you two…are suffering without me.” Your finger raises to point at them shakily as your glassy eyes glare their way. “You say every day is hard? Good. It should be. Every day you…drag your asses out of bed…drudge to your work and put on that fake smile…I hope it’s hard. I did it for 7 years… You should be sad. Neither one of you deserved me.”
Without saying a word, they both turned and headed back to the car. Thirty minutes later, your mother pulled up to the playground and brought you back home. After laying you down in your bed, she crawled in beside you and held you as you cried.
###############
“Y/N, thank you for coming back to do this. I really appreciate you taking the time and I know they do as well.” 
You nodded at the doctor’s words as you continued to stare into the floor at their shoes. Steve had his hand over his mouth as he stared out the window while Eddie looked towards the door with his arms folded across his chest. 
“So, um, I was thinking we could start with—”
“I couldn’t wake either of you up.”, you interjected as you continued to look at the carpet. “I came home and Eddie was on the floor by his bed. He…he didn’t respond to me so I ran to Steve, fucking shaking him and practically pulling him off the sofa but… I rode in the ambulance with him and I watched them…” A tear falls and you quickly wipe it away. “I sat by your side, Ed, and waited for hours till doctors told me you were going to be ok.”
“I kept thinking ‘What the fuck am I doing? They abandoned me and left me alone in a hospital for months. I shouldn’t be here…but I can’t leave him. I love them.’ That’s when I knew I needed to leave. I could never be like you even though it’s what you deserved. I couldn’t keep…loving you when I knew if the tables were turned…you would have left me on the bedroom floor.” Your voice cracked at your last sentence and when you finally managed to look their way both men were trying to hide tears of their own as they continued to look in opposite directions. 
The doctor clears his throat as he nervously rubs his palm along his knee. 
“Guys? Any response?”
“She’s right.”, Steve mumbled. “We would have left her there. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I would have left Eddie there. I was so drunk I didn’t even know. I never thought he would…overdo it like that.”
“Me either.”, Eddie followed. “But I never thought I’d hit her either.”
His eyes find yours as you sniffle, grateful to finally hear him say and admit it. He was finally taking accountability. 
“Sweetheart, you always ask why you were never enough but the truth is…”
“…Baby, we weren’t good enough for you. You deserved so much better.”
You broke then, covering your eyes as you cried. The atmosphere shifted in front of you, feeling fingers delicately grip your wrist and bring your hands back down to your lap. 
“Can I hug you?”
You tackled your arms around Eddie’s neck as he lifted you from the chair and held you tightly to him. Warmth abruptly encased you as Steve hugged you both, one arm wrapped around your stomach as his other rested on his friend’s shoulders. 
***
“Hey, sweetie. How was it?”, your mom asked as you walked through the door after the session.
“It was good.”
Her eyes scanned you worriedly at your timid response. “Are you ok, Y/N?”
“Yeah, mom. It was just a heavy day. I’m going to go lay down ok?”
“Ok, baby. Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?”
“Maybe later.”
As soon as your head hit the pillow on your bed, you crashed. For 10 years, you had carried everything that was theirs making it your own. Even after you left, you held on to their burdens even though you no longer had to pay for them. Hearing them say what they said and seeing the truth in their eyes was like a weight had been lifted.
They truly wanted to get better and hopefully now they could really move forward instead of being stagnate. As you drove home, you couldn’t help but feel utterly alone. Who were you without them needing you? Even in these past three years, you were still searching for who you were as an individual but they were always in the back of your mind. Maybe they always would be. That made you feel even more lonely because all you knew was their toxic sides. Who were they now?
You were still asleep when the breeze from the open window gave you a chill that ran up your spine. It suddenly stopped as you stirred at the soft sound of it closing before being followed by what sounded like shoes quietly hitting the floor. 
You sighed at the smell of cologne and cigarettes that filled your room reminding you of many naughty nights when you were younger. 
“Steve!”, you hiss. “You can’t…can’t…fuck…”
“Can’t what, honey?”, he slurred. “Oh, you mean this?”
You quickly covered your mouth as he slammed his hips roughly into yours, hitting that sensitive spot inside of you that had your eyes rolling. 
“You have to be quiet, baby. Wouldn’t want to wake up mommy and daddy.”
You bite into your pillow as Eddie’s hand came around to press circles into your clit.
“Shhh, sweetheart. I know, I know it feels good. You can take it, pretty girl. Cum again for me, baby.”
Shouting into your pillow you do as he commands as he pounds into you harder till you feel him warm your insides. You whine at the overstimulation as he leans over your sweaty frame to grab the drugs he left lying on your bed side table.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not done just yet.”
You bed dipped on either side of you and once again you were encased in warmth as an arm circled around you from behind and a palm rested on your cheek. Your own limbs reached out pulling him as close to you as you could making both men groan as you began subtly grinding your hips between them. 
Soft lips landed on yours and the strong taste of coffee told you it was Steve, further proved when your fingers ran through his hair. As you turned to find Eddie, the other boy’s kisses gently trailed down your jaw line to your neck. Every single kiss and touch was delicate as if they were afraid you’d shatter like glass. 
“Y/N, open your eyes, honey.”
“Please.”, Eddie begged when you shook your head.
When you did what they ask, you were met with Steve’s smiling face. “So beautiful. Can we take off your clothes?”
You nod as you shift on to your back, allowing each boy to undress you until you were naked before them. Steve couldn’t help but run his fingers over the scar on your stomach. You were always self-conscious about it especially when God forbid your shirt would ride up or you would be intimate with a man and someone would ask what happened. He didn’t need to ask. He already knew and it killed him every time he saw it. Before you left, after he would fuck you, Steve would slunk to the kitchen to grab the strongest drink he could find to block out the memory.  Now, he lingered, letting his lips trace over the tissue as your fingers tenderly petted his head.
Eddie removed his clothing, pausing when your eyes noticed a new tattoo on his chest above his heart. 
“Never tell me the odds.
August 1988—”
“From Star Wars…the three of us saw that on our first official date and this is when I became sober.”
Tilting your head, he pleasantly sighed when your lips tenderly kissed along the ink on his chest.
“Just lay back, baby. We got you.”
The metalhead’s tongue pressed against your skin and slid down to meet his friend halfway as they both gripped each of your thighs to hold you open wider for them. While Steve’s mouth wrapped around your clit, Eddie’s tongue continued to taste your body, darting in and out of you entrance making you whimper. 
Their hands continued to roam until the metalhead took over so the other boy could remove his clothes as well. When he climbed back into your bed his hand petted your head as he attached his lips to your neck, sucking on your flesh, and making you moan as your pussy clenched around Eddie’s tongue.
Your fingers pressed his face deeper into you and his hands dug into your hips as he devoured you until your body trembled, clinging to them both as you came.
As if they expected everything to be the same, Steve turned to reach in the drawer by your bed and produced a bottle of lube that he passed to his friend. His palms cupped your face as he kissed your forehead. 
“Freshman year my dad gave me the grown man speech. ‘Son, you’re starting high school. Time to grow up and buckle down! Your life starts now.’ He then proceeded to fuck his secretary in his office since my mom was out of town. He said MY life started now but I know he meant HIS life…how he pictured it for me being just like him. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey from our bar and hid upstairs. That was my first drink.”
He lifted your leg over his hip and you both groaned as he guided himself inside of you. Steve kissed your chin down your jawline as your head tilted back when you felt Eddie rubbing the lube between your cheeks. 
“I was in town that summer before freshman year hanging out with Rick and getting some food. I tripped over something and fell against a car making the alarm blare. This woman came out and yelled at us threatening to call the cops. Rick tried to explain what happened but she didn’t care. ‘Like father like son!’. I couldn’t stop thinking about her reaction and the weed wasn’t helping… that was the first time I tried the harder drugs.”
His mouth fell open as he slowly slid his cock into your ass, gripping your waist as he kissed your shoulder blade.
You pulled them both as close to you as you could get them as they both started thrusting into you. 
“I-I loved you since the moment…I met you two.” After kissing his lips, Steve panted against yours as he mewled and his eyebrows scrunched together in focus. “You were so sweet, Steve. I-I—fuck—I fell off the jungle gym…and you ran to me…helped me.”
Eddie’s arms squeezed you tighter to his chest as you turned to kiss him, pressing your forehead against his cheek as he moaned.
“You…you made me laugh, Eddie. W-When we came to the swings—mmm—you kept telling me jokes to make me…smile.”
They both pumped into you faster and you held them both as your eyes closed. 
“You helped me…I never stopped trying to help you.”
Steve lopped his arm under knee, holding your leg up higher against his body to allow them to hit you in different angles as you turned to press your face into your pillow. You shook in their hands as you came.
Eddie gripped your bicep and grunted in your ear as he rolled his hips till you felt him warm your insides. Steve soon followed, groaning as he used your thigh for leverage and pounded into you till he coated your walls with his release.
They gradually pulled out of you and the metalhead used the glass of water by your bed to wet the hand towel he found in your closet to gently clean your lower half. Neither of you wanted to risk sneaking to your bathroom and being discovered by one of your parents. 
“I’m sorry for ruining holidays and anniversaries because I was too drunk to care or even act right. I’m sorry for snapping at you and screaming at you for every little thing especially when you were trying to help.” Steve’s fingers brush your hair away from your face as his thumb caressed your cheek. “I’m sorry for cheating on you. The alcohol made me believe that you would do it to. I’m sorry for what happened with Glen. I couldn’t accept you being happy with anyone who wasn’t us.”
“I’m sorry for the accident. Y/N, I never should have gotten behind that wheel and I never should have left you, honey.” His voice cracked and your heart broke as you wrapped your arm around his waist. “I’m so fucking sorry for leaving you alone afterwards. I was so fucking scared because I knew it was my fault. I chose to stay home and drink instead of seeing what I had done to you. I’m sorry for being so wasted you couldn’t wake me up when you needed me. I was so fucking angry at Eddie…at the situation…I’ve never learned how to handle emotions like that… fuck…even now. I don’t know how to tell my dad to fuck off.”
His glassy eyes meet yours as he firmly holds your head in his hands. 
“I am sorry, Y/N. None of what happened was your fault. You did nothing wrong to instigate any of our behavior.” Steve pulled you to his chest as you both sobbed. 
Eddie waited patiently as he watched everything front of him. When you rolled over to face him, his friend extended him the same courtesy as the metalhead reached out to wipe your eyes. 
“Sweetheart, to me you were always perfect. Since the day we met you, you had this light inside  that just radiated from you. I spent the first part of my life in darkness and when my mom died…I thought I’d never be happy again…then you came along. Y/N, I was so terrified something was going to happen or someone was going to take you from me; from us. The drugs made me believe that by degrading you or fighting any man that even looked at you…it would help keep you here.”
“I’m sorry for calling you names and throwing things at you when I was angry because the blow just amplified those fears. It made me feel helpless. I’m sorry for frightening you and making you cry all the time with broken promises because I just…couldn’t quit.”
“I’m sorry about Glen. Because of what I said while I was high he left you and broke your heart even more. I’m sorry about abandoning you…at the accident. Steve was right, it was my idea. I had so much drugs in my pocket, when I heard the sirens I thought about myself instead of you. I didn’t want to end up in jail like my father…”
Eddie’s jaw tightened as you watched him struggle to continue. Placing your arm on his hip, you leaned in to kiss his lips hoping to comfort him. 
“I’m sorry I hit you, Y/N.”, he whispered. “I so fucking stoned…I didn’t even… I should have run after you. I should have waited for you to come back home and groveled at your feet. I should have made a plan then and there to get clean. All I kept thinking about was your face and how you looked at me; the way my mom used to look at my dad after he’d hurt her. I just wanted to erase it. I couldn’t handle being like him. I’m sorry you had to find me like that and I’m so fucking sorry you had to handle that on your own. I’m so sorry.”
He held you as you cried and after a while Steve’s arm circled around you as Eddie continued petting your hair while your eyes slowly began to close. 
“I forgive you.”
***
The sun gleaming through your window woke you up the next morning and you groaned as you stirred from your sleep. As you opened your eyes, you quickly realized you were alone, your eyes scanning the area till you notice a note on your nightstand with your name.
“Y/N,
We both have so much more we want to say but we are nowhere near ready to express them the way we want to. We meant what we said in therapy…you always deserved better than us. More importantly, you deserved to be happy. 
While you were sleeping, we talked about a lot of things and we realized that while the three of us are doing so much better we still have a way to go. I’m quitting my job with my dad today and finally figuring out who I am. You inspired me to travel and do some soul searching on my own. 
I’m taking some time off work and touring with the guys. I spent most of my life either being afraid of my dad or becoming him. Princess, you showed me it’s ok to just be Eddie Munson. I want to do something that would make my mom proud. 
We wanted to wake you up and tell you this but we knew as soon as those beautiful eyes met ours we’d talk ourselves out of leaving. Truth is, honey, you still have some healing to do to.
You said you were still trying to figure out who you were without us. Maybe now, pretty girl, you can let go and finally be free. 
In two years, Eddie and I will have been sober for 5 years total and we’d love to celebrate that with you. Meet us at the diner August 1993. If you don’t show up, we’ll understand. If you’re married with kids, we’d love to hear about them. No matter what, we love you and we just want you to be happy. 
Steve & Eddie
################
1993
Eddie showed up an hour early, bouncing his leg as he flicked his ash into the tray. The man breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a BMW pull into the parking lot and hastily stood up from the table to meet Steve halfway as he gave his friend a hug. 
“Hey Harrington. Jesus, you look good.”
“Thanks, Ed. So do you, man. How have you been?”
“I’ve been alright. A few months ago, we signed with a label so the guys and I have just been recording 24/7.”
“No way! That’s amazing.”
“Yeah, thank you. What about you?”
“I’m doing ok. My dad cut me off after I left so I’ve actually been doing some odd jobs while traveling. About a year ago, I settled a bit up north and got my certification to be a counselor for people struggling with addiction.”
“Well look at you.”, Eddie chuckled.
The sound of a throat clearing got their attention and they both turned to see you standing before them with the biggest smile they had ever seen on your beautiful face. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around Eddie’s neck as held you to him.
“God, sweetheart, you look so beautiful.”
You turned to Steve who lifted you off your feet. “Me? Look at you two. I never would have imagined…”
The three of you scooted into the booth talking well into the evening about everything these past two years held. For the first time, no one was angry, sad, or heartbroken. For the first time since you met them, they seemed content and at peace. For that you were extremely grateful. 
##############
@sheisjoeschateau
@peachy-bunnns
166 notes · View notes
orqheuss · 2 years ago
Text
I like my body when it is with your body
(Ominis Gaunt/Sebastian Sallow/GN!Reader SMUT)
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Summary:
Sebastian believes that he doesn't deserve to be happy after everything he's done. His partners don't agree, and are hellbent on proving him wrong the best, and most effective, way they know how.
***
Title from the E. E. Cummings poem, "I like my body when it is with your"
word count: 8k
AN: I'm reposting all of my fics from ao3 on to here for easier access! We're starting with the smut.
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Sebastian was tired. Today had been another long day trapped away in his office, filing report after report of his findings in the latest tomb he had explored. The life of a curse breaker never stopped. All he wanted to do was go home and curl up next to his partners. They’d each take turns stroking his hair and smoothing the stress from his shoulders like they always did when he had an exhausting day and he’d relax into their sides, falling asleep to the soft sound of their heartbeats. He was fortunate enough to work close to home, only having to venture out of the comforts of London every so often for a day or two, but each trip away made him desperately crave a life of simplicity. Even being away from his two loves was torturous— he always wanted to be near them, always wanted to know that they were safe and with him. There were some days where he didn’t believe that he deserved their love, their kindness, their understanding of his busy schedule. Ever since his sister was cursed by the villain, Victor Rookwood, he had been set on this path for his life. The aftermath of that dreadful day in the catacombs only solidified it for him— he would never use dark magic again, instead he would protect the wizarding world from it one cursed vault at a time. 
He thought fondly of his seventh year at Hogwarts, how each of you had stressed about what you wanted to do with the rest of your lives. While he may have had it figured out, you and Ominis were a wreck to say the least. With the gift of ancient magic pulsing under your skin, you had originally thought about becoming an Auror and working alongside Sebastian with Gringotts bank, nearly causing the blond of the trio to have a conniption. He was already stressed at the prospect of the brunette being in danger nearly everyday, he couldn’t stand the idea of you being there as well. He knew that you both could hold your own, but it certainly didn’t help his heart. If anyone asked him, he would say that the incessant schemes you both got up to during your school years had left that organ of his half as strong as it used to be and caused more than enough grey hairs to go with it— he was basically an old, fretting man already. In the end you had agreed with him, deciding that you had earned a simple, safe life after everything that you had gone through over the last three years. It just so happened that Professor Hecat had decided to step down from her position as the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, meeting with you personally and offering the job to you as soon as you had graduated. It was an easy choice, and you were the happiest you had ever been working at the school you loved so much. Ominis was a mess at the beginning, constantly pacing around thinking about what he wanted to do— what path he should choose. He had considered following in his father’s footsteps and working in the Department of Mysteries for the Ministry, but quickly pushed that idea to the side; the idea of having anything to do with his family, even sharing a job title, was absolutely abhorrent. He considered becoming a Professor as well, he loved teaching, but that seemed to not be in the cards either with none of the faculty leaving anytime soon. Finally, you both had sat him down and talked him through his stresses, coming up with a possible list of things he could do with his high scores and brains; the final verdict was an inventor of magical tools. He was proficient in the art of tinkering and had a passion to help those in the wizarding world who began their life with as many struggles as he did. 
Yes, the trio were very happy together. 
Even with all the good things happening in his life, the unconditional love of his partners and his rewarding job, Sebastian couldn’t help but still feel a gnawing guilt for his actions in his fifth year of school. It had been years at that point since he had even uttered an unforgivable curse, but the taste of the words still left a bitterness in his throat that wasn’t going to go away any time soon, if at all. Some nights he still woke up in a sweat, the look in his uncle's eyes as the sage green spell hit him in the chest and stopped his heart forever burned into his memory. He would quietly sneak out of bed and sit in your living room, a cup of calming tea clasped between his hands as he watched the sun streak over the horizon. He was acutely aware that both of his partners knew about his nightmares, but every time they tried to talk to him about his trauma he would just shrug it off with a smile and a kind word in their direction. He could deal with this himself— it was his cross to bear. He hoped that they hadn’t pieced together the depth of his regret and guilt about everything he did, though. Sebastian knew that he would never hear the end of it if they ever discovered how much he loathed himself and his actions sometimes, how often he questioned why they had even decided to be with him and not someone else with a better mental view of the world, a better attitude towards the future and the past. He loved them both more than words could describe— more than there were stars in space; he would do absolutely anything for them— had done dreadful things for them already, but sometimes he worried that he wasn’t truly enough. 
The boy was truly obtuse sometimes, even with his high marks and proclivity to all things magic. Of course his partners were aware of his self loathing, they knew him better than anyone else in the world— they would know him just as much in death as in life, and had been working hard to concoct a plan for how to break him from his funk. They had puttered meticulously around the day, making sure everything was absolutely perfect for their love when he got home. He always took care of them; you with your trauma with Rookwood and the battle under the school and Ominis with his family and everything they did to him until he was old enough to break away from their strangling grasp, but he refused to let them take care of him and his needs. Quite frankly, they were sick of it. They could see the stress under his skin withering away the joy he once had for his life and it broke their hearts. It was time to break that cycle and show him how much they truly cared about him. 
Dropping the last file from his never ending pile of reports onto his desk without a care, he glanced at the clock ticking away above the arched doorway of his private office. Just in time to go home. With a renewed sense of energy, Sebastian quickly gathered his things scattered around the room and rushed out the door, waving bye to a few of his colleagues as they called out for him to have a good weekend, and apparated home without a second thought. 
Little did he know, the lovely curse breaker had an even lovelier surprise waiting for him when he got home, that was for sure. 
Apparating into their shared living room, he noticed two things right off the bat. First, the lights were dimmed around the entire house, candles floating just below the ceiling and casting a romantic glow across the walls, and second, there was a path of clothes leading down the hall towards their shared bedroom. He could distinctly point out Ominis' favorite waistcoat, a gaudy thing that looked like it was skinned right off of his grandmothers couch, and your Professors robe, iridescent hues of forest green and gold decorating the velvet and fleece. His heart stuttered in his chest, a blush making his way across his face and down his neck at the prospect at what he was about to find waiting for him. Even after all these years, the two of you could still make him as flustered as a school boy. 
He delicately made his way down the hallway, stepping around the clothes, his heart beating steadily but fast in his chest as he heard the soft laughter of his partners seep through the cracked doorway. Sebastian gulped lightly in his throat, steadying his nerves before gently pushing the door to their master suite open and taking in what was waiting for him. 
Resting on your shared bed was his two partners, sprawled out in nothing but their underclothes and a beautiful red flush dancing along their skin. They each were already panting in need, likely from a bit of foreplay before he had gotten home. The idea of them beginning without him so they could jump right into action when he got there made his brain short circuit, static filling it for a moment as he processed everything in front of him. He cast his eyes around the room, taking in everything the both of you had done to set the mood— he wanted to appreciate your effort, after all. Floating above your nightstands and chest of drawers were more candles, their gentle flame creating enticing shadows around the room and glowing against the sweat shining on your skin. A mix of red, salmon, and burgundy rose petals decorated the foot of the comforter and the floor around the four poster bed, filling his nose with the sweet aroma of vanilla and flowers. You and Ominis had gone all out for him, and his heart filled with love at the idea of you both taking the time out of your day to make the night special. Sebastian momentarily racked his brain, stressing slightly that he forgot some important date, but he came up empty. What was the occasion?
In all honesty, he couldn't really give a damn. He was just happy to be there.
Flirting his eyes back to the pair of bodies adorning the silver colored bedspread, heat began to burn in his stomach and fuel the fire in his loins. Sebastian lightly groaned, an absolutely sinful noise making its way out of his throat, as he tilted his head back to the ceiling in elated disbelief. He could already feel his trousers tightening around his growing member as he verbalized the thoughts and prayers swirling around his mind. 
“Merlin, God, Buddha, Ra, whomever is up there— I don’t know what I did to deserve this gift, but thank you.”
His partners laughed at his little speech, making their way from the bed to their very bothered partner and flanking either side of him. The heat from their bodies seeped through his suit jacket, spreading over his arms and flowing from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He sighed in pleasure, both of his hands reaching up and threading his fingers through yours and Ominis’ hair as you each began to suck light bruises on his neck. Sebastian felt like he died and had gone to heaven, tugging you both away by your roots and smashing his lips against the closest of the two— in this case it was Ominis. He gripped the blond by his hips, letting go of you and allowing you to sit on the bed once again and watch the show as he proceeded to stick his entire tongue down the blond’s throat. The smaller of the two moaned against his lips, his lovely long fingers reaching up to the broad shoulders of his partner and pulling the jacket from his form with enough force to make Sebastian slightly lose his balance. Ominis took this as the perfect moment to strike, taking the taller of the two by surprise and shoving him roughly into the wall behind them. The brunette sucked a breath through his teeth, his pupils doubling in size with unrestrained lust coursing through his blood. Ominis attacked his throat once again, one hand tracking his nails lightly down the other boy’s cheek before his fingers wrapped around his neck and squeezed. A heady whine left Sebastian’s throat, feeling his head get slightly fuzzy at the lack of air and the transcendent burn of his partner’s kisses down his jaw and under his shirt collar.
Ominis chuckled against the column of the brunette’s throat, the arousal heavily present in his voice sending shivers down Sebastian’s spine and even more heat to his core. The blond harshly sunk his sharp canines into the soft skin connecting the other boy’s neck to his shoulder, roughly tugging at the collar of his shirt to get a better grip, before licking the spot and whispering with a seductive drawl, “I’m going to take my time with you tonight. Do you remember the safe word?” 
Sebastian groaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his head at the feeling of his partner’s sweltering breath against his pulse point and nodded. You both were going to be the death of him, he was sure of it. 
Ominis laughed again, a breathy thing that made the brunette’s heart stutter, and cascaded his fingers down the front of his partner’s chest with bone-chillingly leisure touches. Moving his hands back up to the collar of the freckled boy’s shirt, drawing a shaking breath from his lungs in the process, he undid each button with tantalizingly slow movements. A moan lodged itself just under Sebastian’s jaw, only being freed by the feeling of lips returning to his pulse and slowly making their way down his chest as each new bit of skin is revealed to the cool wind of the bedroom. Ominis smiled with mischief against the brunette’s neck, taking the delicate skin against his jugular and sucking a bruising hickey for all the world to see on his absolutely enticing partner.  
The blond breathed against his collarbone, feeling his way down the large expanse of skin that he had revealed and grabbing at the brunette's hips under the starched fabric. "It's an act of sacrilege for you to have to wear clothes."
Ominis reached his fingers dangerously into the trail of hair leading down his partners stomach and dipped the tip of his middle finger under his belt. Sebastian grabbed at Ominis’ shoulders, begging for something but not knowing quite yet what he wanted— what he needed. With bruising strength, the smaller man grabbed the other’s wrists and pinned them against the wall by his hips, a needy whine choking its way out of his partner’s mouth.
“No touching until I say so.” 
Sebastian feebly nodded his head, thinking better of it and instead whimpering a soft affirmative. Ominis smiled, letting go of his wrists now that he was confident that they weren’t going anywhere, before ever so slowly pulling the shirt from the brunette’s shoulders and tossing it towards the other corner of the room like it affronted him, barely missing one of the many candles that decorated the space. The bulge in the taller boy’s trousers was getting painfully hard, straining against the zippered fabric of his formal-wear. This side of Ominis always excited him, the ability to completely release all of his stress and have someone else take over for him filling his mind with delicious bliss. Satisfied by the heaving breaths shaking his partner’s chest and brushing against his cheeks, the blond clasped his hand where it was resting once again against the larynx of his very flustered boyfriend and squeezed slightly harder than before. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, sighing as Ominis began to leave open mouthed kisses on his collarbones, trailing down his chest and stopping to bite lightly at his nipple. A shocked grunt left the brunette, slightly choked around the hand still lightly cutting off his airflow, and moaned into the air. 
Just behind where the two boys were, Sebastian could hear a second set of heavy breaths, arousal spiking through his veins at the thought of their third pleasuring themselves to the sight of their foreplay. Soft moans filled the space just beyond where the blond had him pinned, the sound of cloth rubbing against skin danced through his ears like the most stunning piece of music. He wanted to reach out for you, take you into his arms and snog you until you forgot your name before taking you right then and there against the wall. 
Ominis, hearing your sounds just as well, if not better, than Sebastian, leaned towards the brunette’s ear, nipping at his lobe before whispering breathlessly against his skin. “You sound so sinful against me, Sebastian, like I should be struck down just for the thought of running my tongue along your skin.” He deeply inhaled the scent of the brunette’s arousal, a combination of sweat and something primal. “You’re doing so good so far— such a good boy— our perfect boy. Will you continue to be a good boy for me and watch our friend while I tear the rest of your clothes off of you?” 
Sebastian whined again, a pitiful sound that sent fire directly to the blond’s throbbing member, before nodding around the hand holding him to the wall. 
Ominis chuckled deeply in his chest, absolutely intoxicated by his boyfriend’s submission.
“Good. I’m going to release you, now. I need you to tell me everything they’re doing. Give as much detail as possible. Am I clear?” 
With a frantic nod of his head, Sebastian creaked open his eyes and met yours. The air in his chest stilled at the sight before him, a bolt of electricity striking down his body and nestling itself right in his lower stomach. His member was absolutely leaking at this point, painting his pants and trousers with an alluring wet spot. Ominis sank to his knees in front of the brunette, trailing his fingers down the sides of his thighs and drawing intricate patterns along the seams. The taller boy didn’t think that his heart could beat any faster, any harder in his chest— one more shock and it may as well burst from behind his ribs. He could already feel the tightening of the knot in his stomach, his orgasm approaching embarrassingly fast and without being touched by either of the people he loved. He had never felt this pent up before, never felt this loved , this wanted .
Ominis began to untie his dress shoes, taking his sweet time on each knot before pulling them off and beginning on his socks. He lightly pinched the skin by Sebastian’s ankle, startling the other man out of his pleasured bliss and reminding him of what he was asked to do. Focusing on you again, he recounted each of your movements to the blond, struggling desperately around the dryness of his mouth. 
“Oh fuck, t-they’re touching themselves over their pants. They have a gorgeous blush covering their entire body, glowing with a beautiful shade of pink— like the sunrise. Their eyes are hooded— shit, they’re absolutely dripping, Ominis. Their noises are driving me crazy, can you hear them? I know you can, I can feel how much you like them.” 
Ominis was now level with his groin, his searing breath ghosting over where the brunette desperately needed his hands, his mouth, anything. Deft hands worked on his belt, slowly undoing the buckle and pulling the leather out of the loops at a snail's pace. Ominis made sure to slide the smooth fabric along his skin, knowing how much Sebastian loved the idea of him and his belt, absolutely helpless to his whims. Giving the panting boy a small taste of what’s to come, he pressed his lips teasingly against the wet spot next to his zipper, mouthing lightly at the tip of his pulsing cock and murmuring into him. 
“Look at you, being so obedient for me, Sebastian. You're doing so amazing. What else do you see? Be my eyes.” 
Sebastian sucked in a breath, a feeble whimper sneaking its way out of his parted lips. The knot in his stomach continued to tighten, sending shivers of pleasure from his nose to his fingertips and making his member twitch, still buried under two layers of cloth. His entire body buzzed with energy, his hands shaking steadily at his sides with a frantic need to card his fingers through the blond hair just within reach. 
“Merlin, Ominis, you’re killing me.” His breathing was shaky, small pants entering and exiting his lips and making him dizzy, “They look bewitching— absolutely hypnotizing. They’re parting those lips you love so much, both looking quite bruised and plump— your doing I’m guessing, you devil. Gods this is positively filthy—”
A loud swear shocked its way through his system, his head falling back against the wall with a loud thump as his blisteringly hot cock was released to the chilly air around them; its dripping head smacking against his lower stomach and streaking his pale skin and mousy brown hair with precum. Sebastian reached his hand towards his domineering boyfriend in a risky movement, gently brushing against the stray hairs that had fallen out of his styled quiff with intent to reach farther into his tresses and pull him closer to where he needed him. Ominis roughly grabbed his wrist before his fingers could go any further, pushing his hand back into place next to his now naked hips before taking his leaking cock in the other, giving it a sharp tug as a warning. 
A wanton moan filled the room, ricocheting against the walls and spilling into the ears of you and the blond. Sebastian was positively trembling with want, his orgasm creeping closer and closer to the surface as apologies spilled from his lips like the finest of wines.
Ominis growled at his lover’s sounds, biting at the squishy meat of his thigh in violent arousal. “Merlin, you sound destroyed already and we’ve barely touched you. Is that what you want? You want us to completely ruin you like a common whore? Beg for it— beg for what you want, my darling.” 
“Please, please, I’m so close let me cum please —” The brunette whimpered, tears pricking at the corners of his vision from the pressure building in his gut.
“You’ll cum when I tell you to, you—”
“Ominis, I think he’s had enough for now. Bring him over here so we can continue with the plan for the night, please.” You simper, cutting him off. A smug look turned up the corners of your face at the fucked-out expression of your normally composed partner. 
Sebastian released the breath he didn’t know he was holding, his knees nearly giving out underneath him in relief as Ominis released him. The blond pushed him harder into the wall, leaning forward and smashing a ferocious kiss to his lips. A groan broke from his mouth only to be swallowed down by the other boy. Giving one more teasing squeeze around his throat, Ominis separated himself from the brunette and began to lead him towards the large king size bed they all shared. Sebastian hadn’t had a chance to truly look at everything laid out for him on the bed linens, his eyes were completely enraptured by the sight of his nearly naked loves as soon as he entered the doorway. Tied tightly to the headboard of the four poster were two silk scarves, emerald green and shining in the candle light. He gulped to himself, swallowing around the fear and pure arousal stuck in his windpipe, before carefully sitting down on the bed, collapsing back onto it while he willed his breathing to control itself. 
You leaned over him, pressing feather light kisses to his star-covered eyelids and cheeks. “Do you need a moment before we continue, my love?” 
He nodded minutely, letting his heart go back to normal speed and his orgasm to wean off again. The three of you sat in a soft silence for a few moments, pressing gentle kisses to every inch of skin you could reach on the brunette boy. 
Ominis kissed him again, much lighter than he originally did but with just as much love behind it, before bringing his hand up to his cheek, tenderly brushing his thumb along his cheekbone and whispering against his lips. “Was that too much for you? Please let me know, beautiful.” 
Sebastian leaned into the loving touch, bringing his hand up and wrapping his trembling fingers around the blond’s wrist. He softly shook his head, pressing a kiss to the boy’s palm before snuggling even closer to the warm contact. 
Ominis hummed to himself, deducing that the other boy needed another moment before he could easily speak again. “I need more than that, Seb.” He smoothed the brunette’s hair from his sweaty forehead, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his skin. “Tap once for yes, twice for no. Are you truly okay? Do you want to keep going?” 
The freckled boy scoffed lightly, his breathing starting to slow down to a manageable pace, and tapped his finger once against the smaller boy’s wrist. Peaking his eyes open once again, he saw a slow, devilish smile make its way across Ominis’ face. His heart leapt in his chest again and he fumbled for a moment, unsure if it was out of nerves or pure, inordinate levels of devotion. 
Ominis pawed his other hand around the bed, searching for the third member of their trio before finding your hand and squeezing it. You leaned over Sebastian, smoothing his tangled curls down and pressing an affectionate kiss to his lips for the first time of the night. He could feel the care you both had for him spilling from your souls and wrapping his own in the softest blanket he had ever felt. He truly didn’t deserve you both. 
“Can you scoot up the bed for me, Sebastian? Lie yourself against the pillows and let us take care of you.” 
He did as he was told, leaning back against the soft feather-down pillows and relaxing into the silk of the linens. You straddled his hips, pressing kiss after kiss to his temple, his nose, his cheeks, and finally his lips once more. This kiss had more heat behind it, more hunger. He could tell how worked up you had gotten from his session with Ominis as you lightly grinded your pelvis against his, drawing a startled mewl from him that slowly transformed into a melodic moan. Reaching to where his hands had rested themselves on your hips, you grasped his wrists in your palms and raised them above his head, mouthing against his jaw and neck. With a soft mumble, Sebastian felt the tell-tale feeling of your ancient magic swirl around his arms, stretching up and wrapping the green silk around his wrists, binding them together and securing them against the bed frame. 
He softly laughed, nipping lightly at your bottom lip when you moved back up to his mouth. “Did you just use your deeply ancient, completely unexplored magical powers to tie me to the bed?” 
You giggled against his mouth, dipping down to slot your lips with his once again. “So what if I did?” 
With a hum, Sebastian chased your lips for another kiss, his noise morphing into a whine as you moved farther away. He was already starting to hate these binds. 
You got off his lap, sitting next to his head to his left while Ominis took the spot to his right. Sebastian could see how you gnawed at your bottom lip with nerves, how Ominis wrung his hands together as he came up with the right words to say, and he felt his heart drop into his stomach. Now was the time for the true reason you had done all this for your beloved. 
Ominis spoke first, his voice much softer than the domineering presence he originally held. “Sebastian, we know what you think of yourself. I may be blind, but we both aren’t stupid.” 
You laughed, “Well I might be a little stupid sometimes, but not about this, though.” 
The blond snorted, trying to cover it up with a cough before turning once again towards Sebastian and meeting his eyes. Sebastian has known Ominis since first year, but the accuracy he had with finding another's eyes and holding contact even without being born with the gift of sight always intrigued and slightly unnerved him. He gulped, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.
“You have done so much for us. You love us unconditionally— spread yourself thin at your job and still come home to us with so much love to give. We could never wish for anyone else in our lives, yet you question our devotion— our care for you.” 
Guilt crawled up Sebastian’s chest like the spindly legs of an acromantula and nestled itself under his ribs. He looked down, breaking the eye contact that burned into his skull, pulling his deepest feelings out into the open. You softly turned his chin towards you, forcing him to meet your eyes and see the eternal, unrestricted love you held for him. 
“My love, there is no question that you deserve us— deserve the love that we have for you. But, if you still don’t believe us, we have no choice but to show you exactly how much we want you— need you.”
Raising to your knees, you straddled his hips once again. Flicking your finger towards his binds, they unwound themselves from the head board and wrapped the rest of the fabric around his wrists, binding them together and locking his arms on either side of his head. Ominis pressed his hands to Sebastian’s upper back, gently lifting him from the soft sheets and slotting himself behind the boy, bringing his arms up a bit more and curling them behind his neck, elbows bent by his ears. He kissed the skin of his partner's biceps lazily, tracing his fingers along his cheek and jawline. A blush began to creep its way over Sebastian’s face, starting from the apples of his cheeks and working its way down over his nose, neck, and collarbones. You had never seen a prettier color in your life. 
Feeling the pulsing heartbeat of your nervous lover drew a wide grin across your lips, corners stretching across your cheeks and feeling like they could touch your ears. Your lips traveled across Sebastian’s jugular, flirting downwards with feather-light pecks and drawing gasps from the lungs of your beautiful boy. You gnawed teasingly at his hip bone, hair sliding along the thing the brunette longed for you to touch, before whispering against his clammy skin. 
“We are going to go back and forth, telling you one thing that we love about you until we either run out, or you finish. Whichever comes first.” 
With that, you licked a long, languished stripe along the underside of his throbbing member, stifling his reply in his throat and causing one of the loudest sounds you had ever heard the boy make to cascade out of his pink, parted lips. Ominis groaned against Sebastian’s neck, making love bites everywhere he could reach— his throat, his shoulders, his collarbones, everything, and bucked his hips against the curve of the other boy’s ass. Sebastian bit his lip in desire, feeling just how much the blond had been affected by their erotic play earlier. 
Kissing the tip of the brunette’s leaking cock, drawing a stuttered breath from his lungs and stretching your smile even wider, you murmured against his happy-trail. “I’ll go first. I am utterly enraptured by your courage and bravery. Even in moments of intense distress, you still stood by our sides and protected the ones you love.” 
You pressed another kiss to his burning skin before leaning up on your elbows and taking him into your mouth, moving up and down at an incredibly slow pace and drawing long moans out of your partner. Sebastian threw his head back in ecstasy, opening up the column of his throat further to his bite-happy boyfriend. He nipped at the skin just behind his ear, smoothing the pain away with a gentle lick and kiss. 
Ominis whispered tantalizingly in his ear, “My turn. I love your kindness and generosity. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about the little things you do for me and smile.” 
The brunette whined, tears of pleasure and happiness building behind his lashes once again. He refused to open his eyes and look at either of his partners, all too aware that if he met either of their gazes he would lose his composure completely. Just then, you took him all the way into your mouth, the tip of him tapping against your uvula, and moaned around him, sending supernovas of stars behind his eyes and blazing through the warmth in his chest. 
Well, so much for composure. 
If his hands were free, Sebastian’s fingers would be digging into your scalp, pulling at the roots of your hair in an alternation of rough and gentle pressure. He wanted desperately to touch his lovers, but he didn’t dare disobey their orders. He wasn’t afraid of their punishment, but in complete honesty he wanted to savor this moment. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this— this level of affection and tenderness. 
Swallowing around his throbbing manhood, you sucked in your cheeks and dragged yourself up, up, up to his tip once again, humming around his never-ending sounds of pleasure and sending ricochets of vibrations along his entire body. 
You licked at his slit, collecting the elixir that continuously flowed from there and spoke again, arousal lacing your tone. “I love how much you care. You always put us before you, even when we’re being right bastards.” You laughed, pressing your smile to the skin of his inner thigh, “I also hate it, though, because you never let us spoil you rotten.” 
Ominis placed his hand against Sebastian’s throat for a fourth time that night, not squeezing, but simply holding it in a possessive grasp. The unseemly sounds of you working the brunette to release filled his mind and sent burning fire to his pelvis, leading him to press his burning, still very clothed, cock against the other boy’s lower back. He willed himself to remain still— this was Sebastian’s night, not his. His freckled partner had other plans though, and grabbed at the hair at the base of his neck and slightly pulled, whimpering into the air around him with need. 
“Please pleasure yourself, Ominis. I want to feel you against me— I need to feel you.” 
The blond swore, dropping his head back to the brunette's throat and roughly biting at his pulse, seceding to his wish and harshly grinding against him. At this point Sebastian's skin was littered with speckles of black and blue bruises and reddened teeth marks. He could feel everything, the silk wrapped around his wrists and against his legs, the smooth breaths of the blond at his back— the rise and fall of his chest, your teeth gently grazing the large vein at the underside of his member, sending delicious shivers up his spine and filling his mind with static. He could especially feel the tightening of his abdomen as his orgasm got dangerously close to the surface for a second time. He was in absolute, erotic bliss. 
Ominis grunted deep in his throat, leaning down and breathing hotly against the brunette’s ear as he whispered his next bout of praise. “Surprisingly, I love how stubborn you are. It’s a relief, sometimes, to know that nothing can change your mind about how you feel towards us. I’ve never felt so desired, so cared for, so loved.” He chuckled airily, “That being said, it’s only nice when it’s not being used against me.” 
Sebastian whined loudly when he felt your nose brush against the hairs at the base of his cock, his hips stuttering and bucking more of himself into your awaiting throat. Tears had begun to spill down his cheeks at that point, only to be wiped away by Ominis’ gentle fingers. 
You laugh again, releasing him with a pop. “What do you want us to do to you, sweet boy? Use your words.” 
The sounds dripping from his lips were absolutely sinful— his begs and pleads filling the space around them. “Please, please , Merlin, you're going to murder me, you filthy bastards. I love you both so much— I need to be inside you, to have you inside me, anything . I can’t take it anymore, I need to feel one of you fill me and the one of you cumming around my cock.” 
Your breathing stuttered in your chest at the crassness of his words and the sharp buck of Ominis’ hips— a deep, heady groan rumbling both of your bodies from the usually quiet blond. Quickly detangling yourselves, you help Sebastian to lie down on the pillows once again, unbinding his wrists in the process and delicately kissing the bruised skin from his constant wiggling and pulling. 
The taller boy finally blinked his eyes open, gazing with half his normal amount of focus into yours. Your blinding smile brought one of his own to his lips, sending his heart aflutter as you caressed his cheekbone. Your pupils flicked left and right as you took all of him in, feeling yourself sink into his beautiful brown irises. 
A loving sigh parted your lips as you drawled against his lips, “I think it’s my turn again. I love your eyes— I feel like I could get lost in them for the rest of my life.”
Grinding down on his hard length, your purred more muted praise against his throat. Ominis slithered behind the both of you, sliding his hand down along your spine and pushing you forwards so you were pressed chest to chest with the flustered man. Sebastian groaned at the sudden skin on skin contact, heat permeating through his flesh and directly into his soul. A sudden mewl from you shook him from his stupor, causing him to crane his neck to the left with as much speed as he could muster and watching what the pretty blond was doing at his feet. Color flooded his cheeks yet again at the sight of his long, lithe fingers prodding in and out of your entrance, stretching you just right so he could fit. Breathy moans continued to fill the air as you both moved against each other, pushing and pulling in rhythm with the smaller boy’s fingers.
You breathed against the brunette's lips, whining around your teasing words. "Do you think you can handle both of us? One of us bouncing on your throbbing, delicious cock while the other fills you to the brim?"
Sebastian swore at how uncouth you were being, nodding his head with enthusiastic rapture.
You keened, Ominis hitting that spot just inside of you that sent pleasure right to your core. "Good boy. I knew you could do it. I've been thinking about this all day— could barely keep my hands off of our boyfriend for long enough to make this perfect for you."
Ominis leaned down and bit you roughly on the behind, marking you as his own just as he did to the taller boy, before moving further into you and prodding at your entrance with his skilled tongue. Sebastian nearly wept at the sight, sinking his own teeth into your fleshy shoulder to muffle the noise. The blond sharply smacked his thigh, growling around his own arousal. 
“Don’t muffle yourself. Let the world know how well we fuck you.” 
Relinquishing his fingers from your tight entrance, he took Sebastian into his hand, gave him a few more slow, mind numbing strokes, and sunk you both into sweet, connected euphoria. 
Your heart stuttered in your chest, fingers reaching up and tweaking at your nipple in elated bliss. The man under you bit his lip at the sight, throwing his head back against the headboard.
"Shit, you feel so fucking good inside me. Stretch me out just like that, yes."
Ominis set to work once again, taking the brunette’s legs in his palms and stretching him so that his calves rested on the blond’s shoulders. Whimpers flooded his senses as he became completely consumed by lust and the sounds of his partner’s pleasure. Licking his pointer and middle finger, making sure to keep eye contact with the brunette struggling underneath the both of you, he stroked his fingertips at his puckered hole, drawing another loud, needy whimper from his partner. 
“I love your sounds, Sebastian. I’ve never heard anything more beautiful than the both of you singing in pleasure together.” 
The man continued to tease at the other’s entrance, pushing his fingers inside and curling them against the spot that made everything go white behind his eyes. Ominis could feel him pulse around his fingers, smell the sweet scent of his release breaching over the surface slowly. In one smooth movement, he sunk himself into his love— you all finally becoming one. 
Sebastian had never felt so full. Every sense in his body was in overdrive, sparking and sizzling behind his tightly shut eyes like the brightest of stars. Constellations flowed around his mind like the rings of Saturn, dancing through his memories and filling every inch of his body with infatuation. You both used him for your own pleasure, bouncing on him and filling him with heavenly bliss. The room filled with the sounds of your love: high pitch whines, low groans, skin slapping against skin, everything sinful that made his heart stutter in his chest and more. He could feel his very being reaching out and grasping towards the both of his partners, ready to worship them as the celestial beings that you were. Ominis leaned over you, digging his teeth into the opposite shoulder that Sebastian had bitten and marking you once more. Both of you were his, no one else's. He put all of his frustration into his thrusts, grabbing onto your hips as they stuttered against the brunette’s and slamming you down in time with his own movements, filling you with an otherworldly level of revelry.
Growling, his teeth clenched together as sounds of lust spilled from his throat and cascaded down onto your skin, Ominis spoke between each thrust. "You're ours, Sebastian. Take it for us, I know you can. You feel so perfect, squeezing me just like that."
The freckled boy slapped at your thigh, lacing his fingers together with the blond’s as they grabbed at your love handles with enough strength to leave bruises. Whines spilled from your throat like the fountain of youth, seeping into your partner’s ears and silencing every negative thought that hid behind their amorous expressions. Each thrust filled him with unimaginable levels of pleasure, his orgasm rocketing closer and closer to spilling over the precipice and into the blissful chasm below. 
Sebastian stuttered against your shoulder, ecstasy piercing his brain each time your bouncing syncs with Ominis’ thrusts. “F-fuck— please can I c-cum? Please let me cum, I’ve been so good, please.” 
You could feel your own release building, sending blinding hot heat to your stomach and blacking out your vision into an incandescent infinity. The blond’s thrusts behind you were getting sloppy, his rhythm stuttering around his hips and his fingernails digging painfully into the skin of your flesh. Pants flew out of your mouths, each of you struggling against the tightening pressure in your lower bodies as you fought for more air. You nodded at the brunette, your voice long gone in the throes of pleasure, before slapping one of your hands over the two combined at your waist, tying the three of you together. 
Ominis whined, all his dominance shedding from his body only to be replaced with flustered indulgence. “Yes, cum for us, Sebastian. You’ve been so good— taking us so well. I want to feel you tighten around my cock as you release into them. Shit.”
At his words, everything in his brain was wiped away in a torrential downpour of heavenly euphoria— light flooding behind his eyes as his release exploded through his body, the both of his partner’s following soon after and sending the trio into the effervescent, enigmatic paradise. 
Bodies crashed atop of bodies, cum mingling together and turning cold against your hot, sweaty forms. Sebastian gasped for air, his everything beginning to give in to exhaustion from the constant pleasure and pain he had experienced at the hands of his loves. Ominis rolled off first, gently kissing you on the back of your exposed neck and lifting off of the brunette’s hips. The freezing cold water of the washcloth the blond had grabbed was absolutely amazing against your skin— all traces of your exuberant sex being wiped away with a caring, gentle hand. Ominis tossed the washcloth away without a care for where it landed, exhaustion seeping into his own bones. With the last of his strength, he tucked his two companions under the blankets of their bed, cuddling up against the back of Sebastian and wrapping his arms around your waist where you rested against the brunette’s chest. You slotted together like pieces of a puzzle, love swirling around your souls and pressing gentle kisses to the magic that hummed in your veins. 
Sebastian laughed breathily, sleep descending on him— he felt boneless, like years of his life had been swept away in the tides of contentment. His eyelids were heavy as he pressed his lips against your temple and the other’s wrist. “Marry me.” 
A soft grin stretched across your face, sleep whispering sweet nothings in your ears just as it was to your boys. “What did you say?”
He snuggled closer to your warmth, reaching for the other boy’s arm and tugging him flush to his back. “I said marry me. There’s no one else I want to be with. No more doubts, no more insecurity, no more jealousy— this is it for me. This is my future; you both are my future.” 
You hummed against his chest, the soothing sound of his heartbeat dragging you deeper and deeper into your slumber. “Let me think about it.” 
You pretended to ponder for a moment, listening carefully to the brunette’s heart and gauging how true his words were. The solid, steady beat of his heart never changed— every inch of his body oozing trust and love. You kissed the skin just above where the organ rested and prepared to speak, your smile dazzling like the brightest constellations before craning your neck slightly over Sebastian’s shoulder, looking at the snoozing blond and squeezing the hand around your waist. “What do you say, Ominis? Should we marry this stubborn mule of a man?” 
Ominis huffed, his own sleepy smile spreading across his cheeks as he squeezed the both of you closer to his chest. “As long as no one takes my last name, I think I’d be okay with that arrangement.” 
You giggled, light and airy like wind chimes on a summer day, running your fingers first through the hair of the blond just at the edge of your reach and then the brunette pressed close to you. “I suppose I’m okay with that, too.” 
You three would talk more about it in the morning, hash out all the details and ponder how one would even have a triumvirate wedding. But, until then, the blissful feeling of rest sweeped over the room, gently tucking each of the former Hogwarts students into the comforting arms of those that they love most in the world and filling their dreams with images of the future. 
For now, all was well. 
***
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small-sinclair · 2 years ago
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This is for me. Don’t judge. I promise I’ll write/answer questions I swear—
You’re Doin' Great
Bo x college student!y/n (burned out and super drained)
Tw: burned out, drained, slight nsfw because you two shower (but nothing happens!), super soft Bo
Lester’s comfort
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"Good morning," you greeted the Sinclair brothers as they cleaned up the table from this morning's breakfast. Before Bo could say it back, you started on your list. "I'll be in the study all day working on a college project. Please, for the love of everything, don't come bother me," you held up finger, "don talk to me," you held up another finger, "or bring anyone to the house. Only come see me if the Pope is dead or you found the keys to Narnia. Other than that, I don't want to see any of you." You shifted on your feet and offered a trying smile. "I'm telling you as politely as possible."
Bo would snap back with "this is my house; don't tell me what to fucking do", but he knew that this book was your ticket to graduate college. Instead, he nodded and glanced at his brothers. "Ya heard 'em. House is theirs for the day."
You sighed in relief when Lester nodded in agreement with Vincent already getting up to leave. As he passed you in the doorway, he stopped and his wax lips pressed a kiss against your cheek then left.
"I'll be in town for most of the day," Lester said in a sing-sung voice. "Do ya wan' me to bring anythin' back, y/n?"
"Raspberries and my lemonade order," you answered as you entered in the kitchen. You past the mugs as you took the whole coffee pot. Without warning, you drunk straight from the pot and kept eye contact with Bo's disgusted face and Lester's a gaped mouth. You finished the last bit of coffee and placed it with the dirty sink. "I'm off. Love you," you leaned over and stole a kiss from Bo and starting out, kissing the top of Lester's head before you left.
Your laptop was already sat up and plugged in. All that's left is to refill your water cup and put on your noise canceling headphones. You did that quickly, a shock Bo still looking at the empty coffee pot that you downed in four swigs without hesitation still in the kitchen. Your shoulders fall as you let a huff out, kissing him again, then leaving. You didn't notice when Lester left, but he did say goodbye to you. You were too focused on the book in front of you as you typed away.
You did, however, leaned into Bo when he kissed you on the head. He knew the drill: if he or his brothers were to bother you today, you would turn them into wax just by glaring at them.
"Be back later," he hummed in your hair as he kissed you once more.
"Yeah, that sound's good, honey," you answer aimlessly. If you're going to write to page 100 today, you better get to it because you are on page 23. Oh, to be a creative writing minor.
You cracked your fingers and got to it.
*****************
"Y/n?" Bo called as he walked through the door. It's late at night when he comes home, and he was hoping you would be in bed by now, but he found you in the study by the pool table, the same place where he left you. "What the hell," he said out of irritation. He hung up his hat, took off his boots, and made his way towards you.
Your eyes were still glued to the screen as your fingers moved tiredly across the keyboard, rereading over every paragraph as you did so. You've went up to go to the restroom and refill your water. Lester brought your items and that was your lunch and dinner for the day. Vincent didn't bother you, but he did bring your favorite snack and refilled your water cup while you vented about how much you hate a character you made. You thanked him and watched him go back to his work.
You were so tired, your brain melting every time you typed a word, but you were almost done; you were at page 97 by 11pm. Three more pages and you can go to bed! You can shower and go to sleep!
...unless you want to finish writing your book.
"Darlin," he hummed as he read over your shoulder. "I think it's time to call it."
"Three more pages," you answered numblessly as you started page 98. "Almost there."
"Almost 'bout to sleep at your computer," he hummed. He stayed silent as he listened to your fingers stroke over the keys. You were writing a scene about the earth opening up and swallowing a group of heroes underneath it, sending them to the Realm of Crystals. "Your creative mind 's somethin', honeycomb."
"Sounds good, dear," you answer, not listening to him as you pushed your hair back. You lifted your shoulders to crack them, making him look down at you concerned. You felt your skin melting off like wax as you added more detail to a paragraph, taking time to describe the roots and falling flowers.
Bo shook his head as he stepped back. Soon, his hands snaked over your tense muscles and started to rub your shoulder blades like you did whenever he had a long day. You jolted at the touch, but relaxed. Your eye lids felt so heavy but your kept writing. You were almost done! You are so close to page 100.
Then you felt his lips trace on the back of your neck, kissing gently at your skin, then rested his head on your shoulder again. His hands moved from your shoulders to your back, and it felt like heaven. You didn't close your eyes until you pressed the save file over and over and over until you watched the little circles on the cloud icon turn green. Confidently, you exited out of your writing and closed your laptop. You leaned back until you rested your head against his chest. You could feel his soft heartbeat through his shirt. Your hands went up and went through his curls and oiled skin. you just wanted to feel something else then the hard plastic of your laptop.
"Co'ere," he whispered, kissing your lips gently. "Let's go, yeah?"
You hum to his touch as he guided you to stand and led you upstairs. Before you knew it, you were undressed and standing in the shower with him. He didn't say anything as he washed your back and shoulder as you allowed the warm water to run over your skin. You had to process what shampoo was when you washed your hair, Bo helping you when your hands failed to work. You trade spots and you did the same for him, but you kissed his shoulder and held on to him as he washed his hair. Irish Spring never smelt so sweet.
You dried off and dressed in your pajamas. Then you looked in the mirror, cringing at your reflection. Your eyes were so sunken and deep, the lines of purples and tired blues colored your skin. You looked lifeless and disgusting. What this man sees in you is a mystery. Then Bo came in sight, shirtless and clean, and kissed the nook of your neck and shoulder.
"Com'on, bed, sweetheart," he whispered against your skin. "You've worked so hard today."
"I look terrible," you said defeated, your mind filling with static.
He shook his head as he kissed your neck again. "Naw, just tired, 's all." His hand slipped into yours and he guided you to bed. "You did so good today, darlin'."
Resting against the cool sheets, you curled against him like a kitten. "Hold me tonight?" You whimper like a child. "Promise you won't let me go?"
"Never," he answered, pulling you into a tight hug, his arm around your waist while the other held your head against his chest. "You're doin' great, y/n. Workin' so hard for 'at degree." His voice echoed throughout his chest. "Proud of you."
"Don't need that," you said in the darkness, feeling his skin against yours. "Say you love me? Please?"
He couldn't help but smile as he looked up at the glow-in-the-dark stars you put up on his ceiling when you two decided to share rooms. Ever since your placed them on his walls and ceiling, he felt safe and slept more easily. "I love you, y/n," he said in your hair. "I love ya to the moon an' then some."
"Promise?" Your voice was tired as you started to drift to sleep. You were too tired to stay awake.
The last thing you heard was him, answering, "Promise. Love ya."
And he held you all night, not letting go once. It was you and him in this aimless world, and that's all you needed.
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sunstream7 · 23 days ago
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I need to ask bc im obsessed, i love chiara !! and I wld love to know what the differences are depending on who she ends up with :D
(ur artstyle is beautiful btw <3)
YESYESYES AND THANK YOU!!
this is a long one- a bit heavy on the Delilah content, she deserves her own post one day.
Chiara/nate- Probably my favorite. maybe second favorite. idk. but after graduation she spends a few years in Cali doing community college and working (as much as she loves Nate and wants to go back home to New York, her sister takes priority) but post finished a degree in education she scoots back to new york, getting an apartment near where nate is doing law school- they don't technically live together but he spends almost all his weekends and breaks over there, but despite this they still live relatively separate lives. It takes about five years (education and all that jazz), but she gets custody of Del :3 she's 15 by this point. So it's more so the principle of the matter, but she wants to stay at SSB (She took to it waaayyyy better than Chiara did initially, and isn't inclined towards a second cross-country move when her whole life is there) so while Chia is like. legally in charge Del still lives in Cali except for summers and breaks, when she comes home. that first summer she gets home and just looks at Chia like "where the fuck is dad" @ her and Nate STILL not living together and shortly thereafter they DO move in together and we get the worlds lowest budget family. She has a nice little teaching job- (High school English) and Nate ends up going into family law instead of prosecution (totally not because he's been hearing about the incompetence of the system since he met Chiara) but overall they have a nice little life. double income no kids, they have three cats and a medium sized dog, and get married in their early thirties :3
If she ends up with bae, she defaults to like. the most generic career choice- business administration (It didn't seem terrible or like it would lock her into any specific career. she does get a kick out of seeing Jeremy around campus, though) and afterwards she runs a little cafe! She knew from their first like- real conversation post graduation that he was serious about dating for marriage and wanting kids, and while she bristles a little at being tied down like that (inherent baseline trust of men is at zero courtesy of her mothers teaching and experiences with her father, but he won't let her dance around the topic, so it pretty much ends up as "let me get my life together and then we can do all that, because I do want that with you, just not at the stage of life we're in". same thing, they do long distance for a bit, but he ends up going back to Cali after he graduates instead. (he is desperately fond of Chiara and loves her and del very much. He will not say this for a very long while, not straightforwardly at least) . same thing. She gets custody. they are all. remarkably domestic. Chia and Bae get married at ~25 (her condition was that their brains finish developing) and start fostering kids soon after Del moves out for college. they do end up with their four kids (two sibling pairs. Chiara would rather die than have anyone else know the same fear that you might never see your siblings again) while they don't have any biological kids , they are incredibly doting parents. each child was allowed a pet of their choice- so there is a ball python, jumping spider, a fish tank, and a crusty white dog that always shakes and leaks from its eyes. her little bakery/cafe stays a local thing- it's not like... wildly successful, but it's cute and they have a quite comfortable life.
For her and Pran, they end up moving in together right after high school. it's like. an impromptu thing. She had an apartment lined up and told him her door was always open. He spent exactly two days with his parents before bailing and walking the three hours to Chiara's place, where She only plans to stay for a few nights and then oops, they're building Ikea furniture together and arguing over whether or not to add chocolate chips to pancakes. In this, Chiara doesn't prioritize getting a traditional degree as much, opting for trade school (electrician- she coin-flipped that or mechanic, eventually becoming a proper electrical designer- she wouldn't be able to tell you why, but she rather enjoys it) while working. Same deal as any other, it’s a bit of a kerfuffle to get everything settled with Del, who stays at ssb, not for any particular reason, she just likes it more bc like. All of her favorite people (Chiara, Pran, Jeremy, his parents) are all there and close. Chiara and Pran have a nice little apartment, and she works as a tattoo artist. it's all well and dandy until. oh no. child. they'd never really talked about kids but decided to roll with it- despite initial hesitations on both their parts. they have their daughter, Aislin. they are doing their best and they might not be the world's best parents but they're better than their own and that's good in their books. They don't ever properly get married, but at some point it just seems unnecessary to them. I have a drawing of Aislin somewhere in the depths of my files.
I'm too indecisive about the transfem Pran headcanon (my ass has never been able to make a decision so I flip-flop pronouns). I love it dearly. She deserves the world, and Chiara swings both ways /lh. 
But yeah! That's her! She doesn't have so much a dedicated life plan as things that wont change- mainly needing to be fully self sufficient before having any serious commitment with anyone (like. Legal commitment- marriage, finances, ect). She will always get custody of Del. She always keeps her last name. She has no expectations that her partner takes hers, but she keeps her own (Aislin gets a hyphenated last name- Aislin Mariana Ramones-Taylor. hell of a mouthful. that whole family is. there's like. eleven names total between the three of them), and she always has her own cat for a few years- the one she had back in New York that she couldn’t take to Cali with her (Her best friend back home had been watching it and she got daily updates. Everyone is baffled as to why she keeps joking about ‘child support’ until one group meeting someone asks and turns out she has a cat and not an actual son) (Pran didn't want pets but he had to suck that one the fuck up for two years. Chia had that cat longer than she had him)
She does technically have a bad end but that's neither here nor there. and honestly specifically for angst purposes
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rrachnid · 7 months ago
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" with great power comes gr - f ⭒ ck !! i'm late for rent again . . . "
( ji hansol , for rejects hq . ) what's up, silver ?! ji hansol , jake , geomi . twenty three on the verge of turning twenty four . expert at staying up late to work on my latest ( and brightest ! ) idea . most definitely the guy in the friend group you'd host an intervention for ( my mom totally agrees that it's part of my charm , by the way . )
⭒ DOSSIER ⭒ ABILITIES ⭒ BACKSTORY ⭒ PLOTS ⭒ TAGLIST ⭒ REJECTS ⭒
you ever brain rot on a muse so hard you feel like your excited might just force you to implode ?! yeah . . . same here !!!! i'm tenzen, and i'm so eager to shove hansol down everyone's dash!!! ^0^ i am been WAITING and dreaming to write a spider mark and i hope that you all can truly forgive my unoriginality with this one but what was i supposed to do? simply ignore this blessing???? aaaanyways... here's the intro, which also serves as a tldr because i yapped a LOT in my backstory !! additionally, please like this post if you would like me to reach out for plotting !! if you'd like to add me on discord since it's easier to plot there, please let me know!
THE BASICS !! ⭒ born in vancouver, canada, on one of the hottest summer days ever - which is ironic, truly, considering how bad he hates the weather. ⭒ mostly known as jake, though he always secretly preferred to be called hansol. ⭒ though he knew of the gene, he still happened to be a late bloomer: got it in the middle of math class, spurted silky web threads all over the hair of his crush and became a social reject after that! ⭒ his ability is arachnid physiology, by the way. ⭒ which, as you can imagine, didn't do well with people considering that spiders are apparently enemy number one of the state! ⭒ regardless, he somehow got through high school: the lack of party invites forced him to focus more on his studies, which ultimately made him graduate with honours. ⭒ and there was the scholarship too - thank god for it, considering how broke his parents were. ⭒ ( real nice folks, by the way. ) ⭒ so went to college in software engineering and his parents moved back to south korea. it was fine, totally. got amazing grades until he started to slip ( which coincidentally happened when he began to play superhero with his friends at night. ⭒ and instead of studying, naturally, he thought it would be a good idea to hack into his grade portals to turn his d's into a's. ⭒ like, honestly, it worked for a month or two. until someone noticed, until he got expelled. ⭒ though truthfully, he honestly didn't care much for school anyways. his only ever felt real drive when perched over his desk at night, working on engineering his own suit: he would get scraps he'd find in mechanical engineering labs, he would spend nights dissecting little gadgets and incorporating them in his suits. he would spend a lot of time with spiders, too - though he hated them at first, he grew to love them. they were like him in more ways than one. so he would study them until he could fully and truly become them.
⭒ he spent the next year or so in vancouver doing just that: engineering his suit, swinging around buildings, and fighting petty ( and not so petty ! ) crimes behind his mask. ⭒ he also conveniently forgot to tell his parents about the whole college thing. ( they always sounded so proud and happy on the phone: did he HAVE to disappoint them ?! )
THE PRESENT . . . ISH !!
⭒ he rushes to south korea upon hearing that his mother is sick : they tell him that it isn't bad over the phone, but when he first visits her, he can see how much she has wilted in the cold hospital bed. ⭒ he doesn't hate seoul because it sucks - he hates it because he can feel it reject him. it doesn't feel like vancouver : he doesn't know each and every corner of the city, he doesn't understand the intricacies of it. ⭒ his parents are still under the impression that he attends school in software engineering, that he has a stable job, that he isn't late on rent every . single . month . ⭒ it takes him a hot minute to adjust, but soon enough he finds himself swinging between the tall buildings of the city. people begin to recognize him here and there, and while most of them talk about him like he is a nuisance (considering the damage he often causes when fighting crime), he still does some good. ⭒ maybe it isn't so bad, after all. maybe with time, it will get better. he has always preferred to be called hansol, anyways.
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xthelastknownsurvivorx · 1 year ago
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2023 Writing Roundup
Thanks @inexplicablymine for the tag! This was a lot of fun to do
January
Satisfied (Never Have Been, Never Will Be) — RWRB, T, 833
Or, a rewrite of the lyrics of "Satisfied" from Hamilton set at the beginning of Philip and Martha's wedding, except Alex is a little flirtier and a little less repressed, told from Henry's pov.
February
Some Element of Mystery — RWRB, M, 4k
Or, five times that Alex thought Henry was a stripper, plus one time Henry corrected him. Written for the informal stripper!Henry fest.
March
Was working on finishing my master's thesis instead of fic for the most part, though I did write a few drabbles and make progress on my reincarnation au (see November)
April
Burn (They're Watching Us/I Hope That They) — RWRB, T, 295
Or, a rewrite of the lyrics of "Burn" from Hamilton, set immediately after the email leak, told from Alex's pov.
May
Graduated/finished my master's 🎉🎉 while also writing more of my reincarnation au (see November), including some major revisions
June
Got sick for part of the month, then spent the rest of it furiously working on my brownstone anniversary exchange fic (see July) doing tons of (probably unnecessary) research about Saturday Night Live and royal weddings.
July
SNL | Season 45 Episode 2 | HRH Prince Henry & FSOTUS Alex Claremont-Diaz — RWRB, M, 9k
Or, the fic in which I said bet and sent firstprince onto Saturday Night Live instead of having Alex go to London for a weekend. Written for the Brownstone Anniversary Fic Exchange.
August
Spent the month trying to make a lot of progress on reincarnation au (see November) and finally got some betas
September
Had a bad case of writer's block for most of the month, then went insane and wrote something for firstprince week (see October) despite promising myself I wasn't going to participate
October
Not a Day I Don't Miss (Those Rude Interruptions) — RWRB, T, 2k
Or, a Henry character study set during the week following Henry running from the lake house, loosely inspired by Taylor Swift's "Last Kiss". Written for firstprince week.
November
Red, White, and Royal Switcheroo — RWRB, T, 6k
Or, a body swap au set during Alex's "make nice" trip to England in which Alex and Henry have to play at being each other, and Alex discovers Henry's role is, in fact, very much not much easier to play. Written for Halloween, Huh?
Every Time My Heart Swings Back to You — RWRB, M, ~90k (ongoing)
Or, a reincarnation au set mostly in the modern era with college students Alex and Henry trying to piece together the story of their past lives as a knight and a prince through a series of non-linear flashbacks.
December
Trying my best to finish reincarnation au while also plotting out a very ambitious fic for a new fandom (mysterious lotus casebook) that I'll be trying to tackle in 2024. Also the month I got super into cdramas/c-ent.
--
Wow, compiling all this made me realize I wrote a whole lot more than I thought: posting 9 stories and writing around 50k new words! I also participated in a lot more fan events than ever before and finally begin sharing the story that's been living in my brain and docs only for almost three years. All in all, a very satisfying year for me while also looking forward to new projects in 2024~
I'm probably one of the last wants to get to this but tagging a few others who I don't think have done this (let me know though if you have) @14carrotghoul @formorewishes @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @celaestis1 @celeritas2997 @cricketnationrise, plus open tag because I'd love to see anyone else's writing year in review~
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sophocused · 2 months ago
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oct 26, 2024 | mid 20s era
I'm 25, unemployed, married, and we moved into our first house. I'm going to sound so ungrateful and whiny, but I still have this old studyblr where I can shout into the void. At the end of the day, I'll blame late stage capitalism but let me get into the crucks and quirks of it all. It's the being sheltered for 22 years by 1st generation immigrant Filipino parents. It's the fatphobia faced since I was 7 years old. It's being the youngest sibling that everybody thinks is stupid and that having boundaries is just me being a bitch. It's being a burnt out gifted kid who instead of being able to follow their dreams and make sixfigs as a pharmacist by 2023, is unemployed after being discriminated against for 9 months at her old desk job, and graduated with a general science degree that can't get her into a master's because ya need a 4-year major for that. It's the 4 years of rumination that I might have autism or ADHD after being misdiagnosed with just type 2 bipolar disorder. It's all of these ways that the cards fell in my life, and I've just been having to deal deal deal.
Long story, long, I got into my firt serious relationship right before lockdown happened in 2020. We decided to stick it out despite not getting to do all the honeymoon stage dates and romantic whatnots for a whole 2 years. Before you worry that, oh no, did the relationship go awry as well? No, it's the one thing I can trust as a constant in my life, we got married last year (2023).
We moved in together last year as well, spedrun because haha actually my parents got in the way so many times of how often we could see each other, we had a curfew of 8:30pm, we couldn't see each for almost 6 months in 2022 when everyone else was reconnecting with their loved ones, ALL. BECAUSE. OF. MY. PARENTS. I was 20-23 years old throughout this whole relationship, and my parents had that much power over my actions.
Now fast-forward to this year, I've maneuvered through my in-laws trying to make me some kind of trad wife/sister-in-law, we've moved into our dream home, which is... Any house, in this economy. But more specifically, we are forrtunate enough to have a house/home that checks all our boxes. I swear I'm doing the work, not a day goes by that I DON'T think about how much I need to improve as a person to fit suddenly into this life where every move isnt under a microscope, I answer to no one, and I'm just in a happy healthy marriage in my own space with our 2 cats.
I can't catch up. That's just how I feel. I feel my environment and surroundings have all glowed tf up, on paper it's great and magical and much much better than the 20 years I was with my narcissistic, emotionally, and sometimes physically, ab*sive parents. It's like... I was in survival mode so long, my mind and body can't accept the "War is Over" theme in my surroundings.
I can't enjoy it. I can't relax. There's always something that needs to get done, me without enough spoons for it, and me feeling ounces and ounces of guilt and shame and frustration that my body doesn't keep up with the ever-ending to-do list in my brain. No therapy buzz words can be enough to spring me into permanent action. I need momentum or there's nothing. Momentum is so easily lost, and so difficult to regain.
I write this and hope, that a month, three months, even a year from now, I hope I've cut myself some slack and gave myself the room and time to breathe. This is a normal reaction after being in hypervigilant survival mode for 20 of my most sentient years.
My incentive is: actually take time to enjoy my situation/reality, shake the habits of feeling guilty for existing and relaxing, create and follow through with goals instead of just ruminating, intellectualizing, and getting trapped in thought trains of grandeur.
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super-predictable98 · 4 months ago
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My Dad's Mind Maze (Recovery AU)
Chapter 1: The Day a Bomb Exploded in My Father's Brain
Word Count: 1,9 k
Warning: Strong language, mild sexual content
a/n: Hello everyone! So I'm finally getting back into writing a bit and this old draft is the first in line while I work on another Casanova request. Hope you all like it <3
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"My daddy is like a superhero!" Little Ophelia said while the other girls talked about their dads after ballet class.
"Your dad's a plumber, catch yourself on," one of the girls said and the others laughed.
"Yeah! He's a plumber but he helps people so he's like a hero, and he's going to school too, and he can make me fly when he tosses me up. He's a hero!" She started getting upset at how the other girls giggled.
"What is going on here?" Alan asked when he entered the room.
"Dad!" Ophelia ran into his arms. "The girls were laughing at me cause they say you're not a hero."
"That's because they don't know what a hero is, sweetheart," he took his daughter in his arms. "They think heroes are always like superman or batman, but sometimes a hero is just someone who can make your life a little better."
"You make my life a lot better," she hid her face in the crook of his neck.
"See? Then I'm your hero, they're just jealous they don't have a hero of their own."
"They said you're just a plumber."
"I am, and I saved a woman today from having her entire house flooded, isn't that something? Her kitties would all be under water if it wasn't for me."
"She had kitties?"
"She did, three! They were called Larry, Garry, and Jerry."
"You're the best, Dad… you saved the kitties!" Ophelia laughed.
"Now come on, princess, let's get home so you can show me the new moves you learned. I need to improve my dancing!"
*
Time changes many things, it makes little girls grow up into women, it makes fathers turn from heroes to… slightly older heroes. But Ophelia's love for her father remained unchanged, if anything, it grew.
Her world was crushed when the police knocked on her door to let her and her family know that her dad was admitted to the hospital after being run over by a truck. Alan was in a coma for a while, but she didn't care that he wouldn't respond, she kept coming to see him every single day.
Ophelia would sing, bring different essential oils to stimmulate his senses. She took care of him in every way she possibly could, knowing her mother wasn't strong enough to handle everything, her twin Dean would most likely lash out because of how frustrated he was, and her younger brother Joel couldn't exactly understand what was going on.
"I can't keep watching him do nothing," Dean said.
"Will you shut up?" Ophelia cried. She also felt like that, but didn't have the courage to say it.
She was carefully trimming her father's nails. "There you go, all better. Maybe I should trim his beard too, I'll get the trimmer."
"Oph, you don't have to do this," Tricia said.
"I know, I want to," the girl said with tears in her eyes. "I can't spend time with him, but I can do this. At least we're Bonding."
"Daddy's girl…" she teased. That title had been given Ophelia from a very young age, ever since she was a baby and would only stop fussing on her dad's arms. More than once, she caught herself wishing her mother was the one in a coma instead of her father… not that she'd ever admit it.
Carefully, Ophelia trimmed her dad's beard while she covered his chest with a towel and then combed his hair.
"You're so handsome now, see?" She whispered and kissed his forehead. "Please come back to us, Daddy, please come back to me."
"He touched my boob the other day," Tricia murmured. "They said it was a spasm, a motor response, but… it felt like he knew."
"That sounds like Dad," Ophelia chuckled.
Tricia had been working double shifts to make sure the family would have enough money while Alan couldn't work, which left her eldest daughter to care for her father almost every day. She was out of school already, she graduated early six months before and was headed to a music conservatory, but none of that mattered anymore.
"He's up! He's awake!" Ophelia cried on the phone when she saw her dad open his eyes and carefully read the note that was hangin above his bed stating who he was, where he was, and why he was there.
"What? Really? I'll be there in fifteen minutes!" Tricia shouted and immediately hung up.
"Hey, Dad!" Ophelia smiled at him, but his expression was unchanged until he started screaming. He was confused and scared, he tried to get up, but the medical staff was trying to hold him down.
"Fuck off! Fuck off! Let me go!" He struggled and squirmed.
"What is happening?" She asked.
"Post coma agitation, it's very common," one of the nurses explained. "You've had an accident, Alan, that's why you're in hospital now."
"Don't you have any medication you can give him for that?"
"You!" Alan pointed at his daughter.
"It's me, Dad, it's me! I've been here the whole time!"
"Did you bring the outline drawings with the elevations?" he mumbled. "Unless I see the drawings I don't now weather I can build it for you or not in the time frame."
"Do you know who this is, Alan? Who is this girl?" The nurse asked.
"It's me, Daddy, it's Ophelia."
"Ophelia… that's a weird name," he snorted with laughter.
"I'm your daughter."
"My daughter? I haven't got a daughter."
"Yeah you do, look," she pulled out of her bag a photo album and opened to show him a picture of him holding her and his twin brother. "Look, it's you and this is me, this is Dean, your son."
"Don't be daft, that's not you… this is a baby, you're not a baby."
"I was a baby one day. Look, do you know who this is?" Ophelia turned the page to show a picture of her mother holding her.
"Is that… have I seen her before?"
"Yeah! She's your wife, Tricia. My mother."
"My wife? Cheryl! Yeah, that's Cheryl!" Alan smiled, quite proud of himself for remembering.
"No, Dad, Cheryl was your high school girlfriend, this is my mum, Tricia. You married her after."
"Did I?"
"Yeah, look at you two in Portugal," Ophelia pointed. "That's you and that's her. You remember that? You went on holiday together."
"It was hot," he murmured. "On a hovercraft together."
"Holiday," she giggled.
"Honeycomb… Yeah, a honeycomb."
"Holiday," she tried not to laugh, but it was too silly. If her father wasn't the one with a life changing brain injury, she would've been cackling.
She rememebered he used to do that game when she was child, a game in which he'd pronounce words wrong just so she'd correct him and he'd say 'but what did I say?' so she'd repeat his mispronounciation and he'd ask again 'and what's the right one?' until she would get pouty and irritated and he'd laugh… He loved to annoy his little girl, that is every father's favorite pastime, after all.
"What the fuck am I doing here anyway?" Alan got upset after being corrected and tried to take his shirt off. "I wanna go home!"
"Hey hey, calm down, sorry for laughing," Ophelia held him in place and once she was on top of him he smirked.
"Come here often?" He teased.
"Yes, because I'm your daughter and you're my father and I'm taking care of you."
The nurse assured that the amnesia would go away, even if his recovery took months or years, he's at least remember who she was, who the rest of the family and his old friends were. It was comforting to think at least that much was true, but it was undeniable that something was broken. That wasn't her father, that was somebody else she'd need to learn how to love and avoid pressuring with her expectations of who whe was supposed to be.
Ophelia frowned, thinking of what her life would look like from now on, what his life would look like. How could someone she looked up to and admired so much, someone who cared for her and was supposed to make her feel protected was now this shell of a man? He needed protection, he needed to be taken care of now. There's something so depressing about having to care for the ones who cared for you.
And of course, the harrassment started. Alan's impulse control was gone and he's make the most ludicrous comments without a filter, he's touch women innapropriately simply for not understanding what was or not appropriate anymore. And his daughter wasn't an exception. Three times, three times it happened that day
"Nice ass!" Alan reached to grab Ophelia from behind.
"No!" She screamed, swatting his hand away. "Dad, don't do that. This isn't right and I don't like it. You can't do this, remember the father-daughter touches I taught you just now?"
"But it's so nice, you're so sexy, you look like my girlfriend."
"That's because you married that girlfriend and had me, I'm your daughter, I'm Ophelia. Remember?"
"Tricia…"
"No, not Tricia. Ophelia."
"Ophelia," Alan murmured.
"Yes!" For a moment she had hope, he understood. She saw it in his eyes that he remembered her and all the good times they shared when she grew up.
"Oh look at the tits on ya…" he went to fondle her again and once more she had to push him away.
"Dad! Don't! Please, Daddy," she was on the verge of crying. The nurse told her the amnesia would go away soon, but it was painful.
"Damn right I'm your daddy, you're Daddy's good girl, huh? Why don't you come sit in Daddy's lap for a little ride?"
"Please stop," she had to look down to hide her tears.
"But you're so beautiful, Trish, just a little. I can't help myself, just looking at you gives me a hard on."
"Please, Dad, please remember me," Ophelia held up a photo of herself in her old ballet uniform.
"That's my daughter, she's taking fencing lessons."
"Dancing lessons, Dad. That's your daughter, that's me when I was four!"
"What the hell happened to you?"
"I grew up, it's been seventeen years."
Ophelia couldn't hold back, she let out a pained sob and hid her face behind her hands. She just wanted her father back, the wanted him to protect her and tell her everything would be fine.
"Ophelia," Alan finally said, taking her in his arms. "Oph, my baby, it's alright. Daddy's here, it's alright. Remember what mum said? Breathe and count to ten, shall we?"
"Dad…"
"Yeah."
"I love you," she hugged him tightly.
"Why are you crying, princess? I love you too, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, absolutely nothing."
"Baby, what did I do?" He asked suddenly, even though she knew in an hour he'd forget she wasn't Tricia again and try to touch her. "I didn't mean to."
"I want my Daddy," tears shed down her face though she tried to hold back for his sake.
"I'm here, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, it's not your fault."
"I'm not the daddy I used to be? I'm so sorry, my little darling, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. You're a different daddy, but I love you all the same."
Tag List: @jozstankovich
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draculagerard · 2 years ago
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u asked for it so i am HERE to tell u about the netflix tv show never have i ever......except im not going to explain Everything super concisely bc i already have a hard enough time trying 2 explain the complexities of devi vishwakumar when my brain is Actually working but rn i am running on three hours of sleep, an energy drink that partially sprayed out of my nose, and some sour punch straws but i am going to do my best to like. idk explain it. apologies in advance bc this got so long im SO sorry. ANYWAY. never have i ever. its about a first-generation indian american girl named devi and she is like. well. not cool. her n her friends are called the "UN" which they thought meant united nations bc they're all woc but no it means unfuckable nerds. and the person who coined the term unfuckable nerds? one ben gross, aka devi's longstanding academic rival. do u see where this is going yet? great. wonderful. devi spends most of season 1 chasing after this jock paxton (who. we do love. just not with devi.) and imploding all of her personal relationships in an attempt to Not Feel the grief of her father dying. at one point she even tells her mom that she wishes her mom died instead of her dad (ouch, but also, been there). atp devi's friends, the other members of the UN, are taking a "friend break" bc she was. well kind of a bitch. so she moves in w ben (rival) for like a week and then he drives her, unlicensed, to where her mom is spreading her dads ashes and then she goes back up to the car and they go "you stayed" "yeah i just wanrted to make sure you were okay" and then KISS. KISS!!!!!!! but then paxton (jock) also likes her so she dates BOTH of them and then implodes on her and they both break up with her. and then she accidentally spreads a rumor around the school about ben's new girlfriend having an eating disorder which ends up being true. and then paxton (jock) dates her again. and then they break up after like 3 months and ben's new girlfriend (aneesa) also breaks up w ben same day and then ben and devi are like. besties for a bit. devi dates a new guy des who honestly should probably be in a relationship with his own mom instead and then he dumps her bc of his mom and THEN. after all of this. ben jokingly gives devi a "one free boink" card. (was it really a joke ben was it i dont think so!!!!) and. at paxton's graduation he sort of mentions devi but not by name and the narrator (which, i should mention the narrator for devi's inner monologue is american tennis player john mcenroe) says she doesnt get stomach knots!!! but then she and ben share an like an intimate moment in the hall and mcenroe says "there's the stomach knots" like!!!!! and THEN later that night!!!!! she goes to ben's house!!!!!!1 and redeems the one free boink card CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!! and thats where season 3 ends....
season 4 comes out in THREE DAYS and weve gotten SOOOO many spoilers for the first two episodes which (if anyone who watches never have i ever is still reading this and doesnt want spoilers please sotp reading) we find out that ben and devi DID boink and that they both thought iut was like?? bad foir the other person??? and ben just didnt know what to say so he asked if she needed him to call an uber like ben WHAT. as rae @ice-sculptures put it "can you believe that ben gross not knowing what to say after fucking led to the whole spiral of miscommunication lmfao" like they just DONT TALK devi tries to ask if he wanted to get coffee and he says NO because a basketball player at the gym told ben that devi wasnt serious about him because she put a period in the text or somethjing?? so instead he goes and dates this girl from art class margot and devi sees ben with her on the first day of school and gets. well upset. and then someone spray paints "STUPID BITCH" on devi's car and of course she thinks its margot!!!! (but shhhh it wasnt....it was actually this kid ethan....more on him later) and then like other stff happens im not super clear about that but basically at some point ben tells devi that margot doesnt want ben talking to devi anymore :( i dont rlly know much else past that i think thats where s4e2 ends??? but we do know that devi ends up DATING that ethan kid at some point but. sooo many things point to ben/devi endgame esp bc her other main love interest (paxton, the jock) is now STAFF at their high school so like?? i dont think they're going that route but im just. dsjfkhjsad SO EXCITED except i cannot watch s4 the day it comes out bc i will be seeing waterparks which. im so excitred for but also WHYYY do they have to be on the same day
i feel like i didnt explain this very well and left out a lot of like pivotal ben/devi moments but im sitting here jus.t typing and not rereading any of this im. So sorry that this is as long as it is jkhsddfsd thank u for reading this and. if u didnt read it i dont blame u szdkjhdfsakd
WOW OKAY HOLY FUCK A LOT GOING ON THERE HUH????? HELLO.
Okay okay key notes:
I already like Devi and I haven't even watched the show.
WHAT THE FUCK IS BEN DOING HELLOOOO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM DSFJJFD
by boink im assuming it means fuck right. cause like i've never euphemism in my life
THEY END S3 LIKE THAT ?? FWERLJW
oh LORD devi's complex relationship with her mom okay i hear it
bro the miscommunication sounds SOOO bad... like they cannot communicate properly even once huh 😭
devi ends up dating WHO now???? first the guy who gave them the name un and then the stupid bitch dude?? HELP....
IT COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS??? oh shit good luck??!!
OMG youre gonna go to a Waterparks show????? have fun holy shit
anyways are you kidding ofc i read the whole thing i NEED media rants rn
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jones-friend · 2 years ago
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Avatar: The Way of Water
December 18, 2009: Avatar releases
2010: I have my first girlfriend
2011: I graduate high school and attend college moving from Illinois to Iowa, making a number of lifelong friends in the early months
2012: I declare a cinema arts major
2013: me and a small number of friends form a media production company, I have no idea what I’m doing
2014: I get more into dnd and mtg as hobbies with my friends
2015: I graduate from Iowa with a bachelors in cinema arts and move to Chicago interning in the Hancock building
2016: my grandmother passes away from a stroke and I return to semi-country Illinois to live with my grandfather
2017: I have a major falling out with friends I have had since elementary school and college leaving a permanent scar on multiple friend groups
2018: I escape a league of mentally detrimental jobs that put me in a dark dark place and start working in higher ed
2019: family life becomes so stressful I am forced to move out of my grandfather’s house
2020: COVID rocks the world and changes everything. We are locked down with a life threatening virus running rampant as US fascism hits its fever pitch
2021: I cut ties with my biological family
2022: multiple friends have had children or are pregnant, forming families of their own
December 16, 2022: Avatar Way of Water releases
I’ll be 30 this coming year. It has been 12yrs, 11mo, and 29 days between Avatar films. 410,140,800 seconds. It is an interesting feeling to come back to a world depicted on screen after so much time has passed, very nearly half the amount of time I’ve been alive.
My initial impressions of Avatar Way of Water is that if you enjoyed living in the world of Pandora in the first movie and would love some more adventures in Pandora you will enjoy the second movie. If you liked the tighter moviegoing experience the first offered you will feel a little let down. I don’t think this is a bad movie by any means, nor is it a mediocre movie. It is good. It just isn’t as tightly crafted as the original movie was.
God knows, it’s been so long most movies have been remade since then. Or revived under new premises a la Fantastic Beasts (which is a whole other animal to tackle). But I fully understand I’m coming to Way of Water with an entire kit of analytical skills I did not have when I watched the first movie, and this will impact my enjoyment of the second and let me look back fondly on the first.
Thinking between these two, not much has changed. Humans are one note greedy, comfortably made into cannon fodder for thrilling fight sequences. The navi are in tune with nature, peaceful, someone we can root for without complicated emotions. We have a new McGuffin or item everyone wants but it gets a back seat to the grudge match that takes importance over it. And rightfully so.
This is a movie that wants to do a lot of things in the three hours and twelve minutes it runs for. I’m not sure it is successful in all of them, feeling a bit like Star Wars Episode IX in that scenes run fast and loose, a little too loose in some places. The ending especially felt that fervent pace and could not slow down where it really needed to and let some scenes sit for more than a few seconds, instead summarizing via voice over because with 20-30mins of trailers frontloading this your audience has been sitting for four hours and we gotta get👏this👏shit👏going.
This movie s a Star Wars in that its science fantasy and don’t worry we can just make computer chip copies of your brain. It’s also a Toy Story 3, we’ve aged up the characters and moved their lives along to reflect the aging audience who first watched Avatar. It’s also a Star Trek IV where we’re saving the whales. This movie is trying to be a lot of things in 3hrs 12mins. Roughly, it succeeds.
There is a lot to be charmed by in the world of Pandora. It is a different kind of movie because in describing it, the movie acts more like an immersive experience with the viewer so I wouldn’t say “characters do X Y and Z” but you as the audience get to “make friends with a whale” and “learn to ride alien dolphins”. It is a world that continues to be lovingly crafted, like sitting in dnd with a dm who has laid out so much of their own lore and worldbuilding its just a delight to immerse yourself in.
Even when it is unfocused Avatar Way of Water is far and away a better experience than so many other theater movies. It’s drop dead gorgeous, and it doesn’t mind getting its hands dirty in that new aquatic environment immersing scenes in and out of water with ease. If you enjoy escapism I absolutely recommend seeing it while it’s in theaters, preferably IMAX.
A lot has changed since the first Avatar dropped 12 years 11 months and 29 days ago. Well, longer now, writing this on January 2nd. This movie is a comfortable return to the world of Pandora with uncomplicated premises and setups that do not challenge the viewer. It is a movie made by an action movie director with a long resume of quality work. If you bothered reading through my ramblings you likely have already made up your mind on whether or not you’d enjoy such a thing. I give a recommendation to seeing it, I love fantasy, I love escapism, and I love the world of Pandora. I am always down to revisit this chapter and will be excited to see later movies. Is it perfect? God no. There’s alien jesus, major death retcons, silly pacifism philosophies, its got flaws. But I do enjoy the quality of the world it gives me. Its one of the few things that can instill a sense of childlike wonder in myself and I treasure that sensation greatly.
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stilemawillow · 2 years ago
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MTIJ | Ch.28 Does Being a Secret Agent Fix Things?
|mtij masterlist|
pairing: levi ackerman x reader
word count: 12k
summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.
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Cheating. I cheated. Now my high school teacher might be cheating. Conclusion: we're all scum.
“I’m just a bit busy, Ann. My brain doesn’t work properly right now.” I was leaning against the wall again – this time with a clipboard in my hands, Adam smoking on my left and Melinda Carter bound to show up and ruin our break in about three minutes. And my best friend was talking about things I couldn’t quite comprehend but, in her defence, I wasn’t giving it my best either. Speak of being a terrible friend.
“Not that it usually does. I’m just saying it’s been bothering me,” Annie sighed and I figured she was probably busy chafing her bottom lip against the upper one as she often did when worried or overthinking. Deciding to wholly ignore her initial remark, I readjusted my shoulder and clicked the pen I was holding a few times in thought. The calculations on the clipboard weren’t coming out properly. The numbers had to be wrong altogether because this here on the page was entirely impossible…
“I understand why it would,” I began in a slow considerate tone before giving a small snort, “but give Erwin some more credit, would you? I doubt he waited for you to graduate to go fooling around with another woman less than two months later.”
Click, click, click, bitch. Asshole-me laughed as my eyebrows furrowed at the clipboard and Adam suddenly pushed himself off the wall only to stand directly in front of me instead. I didn’t look up.
“But he’s constantly mentioning the new nurse, which is a good cover story, technically, and when I used his phone to call Mike the other day I saw she’s been calling him a lot. There’s no way for me not to worry.” Annie sounded like she was on the verge of something – whether it be a simple mental breakdown or straight-up neurosis, I couldn’t know – and I was off in some faraway land, caring more about a few numbers on a stupid clipboard than my best friend. “Plus, the school is barely populated in the summer and yet Erwin says he’s got a lot of work,” the blonde justified with a cold voice but, even when I wasn’t paying 100% attention, I was able to detect the lingering doubt in it.
My gaze flickered up to meet Adam’s eyes before following his gesture to the corner of the building. Break was probably close to its end. So Melinda Carter might come along any second now. I gave the raven a small nod before pursing my lips in mild frustration. I clicked the pen in my hold three more times and tucked the clipboard under my arm, finally letting my shoulder relax as I wrapped my fingers around my phone and held it to my ear.
“I have to get going, Annie. I’ll call you later so we can finish this talk,” I said, not quite aware of what a terrible friend I was. I had a hunch, but also, I was supposed to be an employee right now. And I was terrible at it, too. Nothing I ever did seemed good in Melinda Carter’s eyes so I was basically failing at life before I’d even gotten into college – it was a big deal that surely wouldn’t make my parents proud.
“Better don’t. I’m just worrying unnecessarily.” Annie’s voice was back to being ice. She hung up on me right after. I had no time to respond. I sighed and put my phone back in my pocket before Adam reached for my hand. Right, that was another part of the ever-so-broad definition of “terrible” my character had. This particular specific was the fact I hadn’t told him anything about anything ever since Levi had shared with me the truth about Petra. Did that count as playing with his feelings? Was I leading him on, taking into account I had no intention of going back to my father’s hot intern? I didn’t know.
“Problems?” His blue eyes bore into mine and I reluctantly let him lead me to the entrance of the store by the hand. It was as warm as it had been almost a week ago when he walked me home. I shook my head “no” after which he smirked cockily and asked the usual: “Want to have dinner with me then?”
“Not exactly.” It had turned into a reflex for me to reject without considering since he offered it every day. I smirked back and yanked my hand from his hold when the automatic doors opened and Melinda’s manicured hand waved at us – or, more like, at Adam. He headed back to the register and I walked with him for the sake of not having to talk to my “boss” for another half a minute. He sat in the spinning chair behind the cash desk and I propped my elbows on top of it with a knowing look.
“How about tomorrow?” There was no smirk this time – just the puppy eyes. A Flynn Rider type of smoulder would’ve done a better job and I was about to give it a bit of thought before the rough draft of a genius plan suddenly hit me. I’d mentioned I was being as bad a best friend as I was an employee. Well, I knew for sure which of the two I could fix. Wanting to be a better person instead of a better provider for a capitalistic society that didn’t give a flying fuck about me, I smiled real wide at Adam and shook my head.
“I have an important thing. Maybe some other time.” I pushed myself off the cash desk but Adam swiftly grabbed my wrists and vouchsafed me his crooked smirk. I pouted at him before avidly slipping away from his loose hold and giving the tip of his tan nose a push that made it scrunch up cutely. The result was me walking away from the scene with a giggle, blind to the soft gaze the raven let linger on my form. I was blind to a lot of things, really.
“Miss Raven.” I swore my mouth had never curled downwards so fast in my life as it did when I heard Melinda’s voice calling my name. Here came two more hours of me toiling as she filed her nails and sang along to pop songs, sounding like an animal in pain even during the humming of the instrumental part. Honestly, I could probably listen to the scraping of her file against her nails on a loop for a month straight so long as I never got to hear her sing again.
Best moments of my life? The ones I got to spend away from that blonde and her Gucci bag. Also could be translated as: when I got off work and the only face I had to look at for the few following minutes was Adam’s. This afternoon we walked out of the store drained physically but not mentally. The usual cigarette hung from his lips, I had his leather jacket on me and over it – his arm. I was laughing at his exaggerated fuckboy “sup” nod when my gaze pinpointed a figure standing in the parking lot. My hand pushed weakly at Adam’s chest and his attention left my face. A small sigh left his lips as he removed his arm from my shoulders and I returned his jacket with an apologetic expression. His smile was bright and I parted my lips with the intention to say something, only to change my mind for a lack of things I could say. He lit up his cigarette and I skipped over to Levi, eyeing his glare with suspicion.
“You have work,” I stated with a deadpan as he rolled his eyes and took his hands out of his pockets only to stuff them right back with a weak huff. We took off towards our house – his pace was slow so I could walk normally, but the distance between our shoulders was a steady twelve inches at all times. I hate to say, but I was the one putting it there – quite purposefully, too.
“Thanks for telling me,” he returned with dry sarcasm, looking as indifferent as each and every other day. So why was I so bothered, one may ask? I would say I didn’t know and still the grumble (Feelings are worse than numbers.) in my mind made asshole-me laugh. I scowled at her nasty voice and proceeded to huff.
“Why did you come?” I sounded like a complete dumbass. I knew he’d come so he could pick me up from work. I wasn’t that oblivious when it came to facts despite the fact I was literally blind to feelings of any sort unless they were thrown in my face. But, mind you, I was exceptionally good at picking up on behavioural habits and traits. And my dear little intern had recently adapted to a borderline uncanny pattern he himself might’ve not acknowledged.
Action that let us spend time together or helped me in a way.
Excuse.
Silence.
Repeat.
“I wanted to take a walk.” Despite the nonchalant voice that would, under no circumstances, hint at his true motive, (Excuse.) Levi was probably well aware of the bullshit he was spilling and how it did nothing to help itself be believed. That kind of excuse would work on people with brain cells matching the number of fingers on their hands and, no matter what comment Annie would want to slip in here, I wasn’t part of that majority.
“Sure.” I nodded after a small pause, hesitant enough to let him know I didn’t plan on arguing though I was aware he was lying to me. He didn’t respond.
Silence.
The next step of the pattern. I could trace its beginning back to last Sunday when I’d negated the giant improvement we’d made the day before that. Or, well, negated the improvement in terms of physical intimacy and actually maybe encouraged it in a way in terms of communication. Still, the main part of the issue stayed. My abstinence concerning Levi and his affections – if they could even be called that – came and went like your usual plan to diet – you start on a random Monday and find yourself stuffing your mouth with doughnuts before Thursday rolls in. Well, I started my Levi diet on Sunday and ever since then, he decided to become times more delicious and inviting solely for the sake of corrupting my noble intentions of straying from inappropriate temptation.
I knew that sounded self-centred but I was purposefully straying from him out of pure shame and he, just as deliberately, went running after me with coffee and benevolence. It was his way of saying it was fine, that the love of his life was dead and I was a bitch but he’d known this would happen so he wanted me to act normally – I understood that much but he couldn’t really believe it would happen so fast. I’d gone through the past five days telling myself I was the living embodiment of all bad words in the dictionary – my asshole side had helped me pick them and recited them in my head in the middle of the night – and the root of the problem was acting like a saint, forgiving me for dissing him when all he’d done was protect his privacy. It was a logical notion that he’d hate and avoid me but no – let’s go against all logic and be kind to the trash who triggered the worst part of my life for four months in a row!
Wasn’t I on a fucking roll? Incompetent, selfish, horny against all virgin origins, dumped over the phone by the only boy in her life after having oh so kindly rushed into cheating on him with a man who was still mourning his dead fiancé, audacious enough to get depressed for a whole two weeks after the break-up, too proud to coherently process and sort out her feelings, pathological liar prone to acting out her life, thinking herself smart when the only thing she could do was calculate the length of her sleep if she went to bed half an hour earlier and always rushing into shit she couldn’t handle on her own. Good day, ‘t was I, your humble storyteller. Feeling entertained yet? I know I was having the time of my life.
“By the way, has my father mentioned the usual August business trip already?” Before my thoughts could spiral further, I decided to redirect the topic to a place I knew very well. No, not City of Dumbassery since I already visited it during my call with Annie and that was more than enough for the rest of the month. However, I could bet, much like my impending failure regarding my Levi diet, I’d find myself back there at some point by the end of August. The intern shook his head at my question, ran a hand through his hair and flatly began explaining that they had no big deals to arrange when I cut him off: “It’s not about deals and contracts, though. It’s about relaxation.” His brows furrowed in confusion and I smirked. He had no idea what awaited. In that case, I had to tell him. “The August business trip is my father’s way of making it up to those who work the most. You’re going on a one-week vacation but he’ll make you call it a business trip.”
“I don’t see the point in being taken along,” he retorted doubtfully, making me chuckle.
“It’s necessary for you to go. Not only because you work too much but also because the cover story falls apart if he doesn’t take his intern.” I shrugged and Levi hummed thoughtfully to let me know he’d understood.
“Do you have any idea when it will be?” His voice was a bit closer. I glanced at him and saw the distance between our shoulders had lessened by a few inches, then pretended not to notice it. I rolled my eyes and feigned contemplation when I knew very well it would be at the end of the month. It was a tradition for my father, not to mention the very same vacation William had never come back from. The thought left a sour taste in my mouth.
“No, but he’ll tell you at least five days in advance.” The small lie slipped past effortlessly and the rest of our walk was spent in silence. When we slipped out of our shoes after I locked the front door, he headed into the kitchen to make food while I changed into more comfortable clothes. A warm meal was sitting on the counter when I returned downstairs and Levi was in the living room, where the coffee table was barely visible under the various stacks of papers he had on it. It was time for me to return the favour, I guessed with a sigh. I made him a cup of tea, took the food he’d prepared and plopped down on the couch next to him.
Our eyes locked when I handed him his drink. Our fingers brushed as he took it and I gave a weak smile he never returned. He resumed doing his paperwork and I leaned back against the couch in order to enjoy my meal in peace. About ten minutes later, my dish was empty and I got up to leave it in the sink. Maybe to Levi’s surprise, I returned to the couch afterwards and leaned into his side, sending a silent message from my antenna to his.
Be my pillow, asshole.
So he complied.
Repeat.
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It’ll take me around five minutes to walk from his place to the high school. I mused internally as my feet paced down the pavement the next day – a Friday on which my former high school was supposed to be open, would you look at that coincidence – and my hands were busy stuffing my work uniform in the backpack dangling from my shoulder. But before we go down memory lane there, we’ve got some other things to check. Asshole-me reminded wisely as I turned into a relatively empty street, searching for a particular rusty door. Thank fuck Hanji had given me details. Let's be the bestest fucking friend there is. I snorted whilst opening the door, then proceeded to climb the stairs to the fifth floor before pressing the doorbell by flat №51. My ten-second wait was rewarded by the sight of Hanji's benign expression contorting in mild surprise. "(Y/N), it’s so good to see you! Do you need Erwin for something?" The brown-haired woman was genuinely excited – it made me conclude maybe I had to pay her a visit or two without a selfish goal in near future. Unfortunately, now wasn’t that near future and I wasn’t here with wholly innocent intentions. I was on a mission so I had to be fast and efficient, and, of course, not get caught.
“I was actually wondering if I could come inside for a bit and talk with you.” I smiled and inwardly defended my manipulation with the fact this particular sentence hadn’t been a lie. Hanji gestured for me to enter before asking if I wanted something to drink. I could spare about ten minutes in here. And I needed for her to be distracted for a bit. I responded I’d like a coffee, not only because it was my go-to drink, but also because (It takes time to prepare and almost no time whatsoever to consume.) it was beneficial. The living room was right across the front door, but Hanji headed down the only hallway to the left. I followed with soft footsteps and watched her disappear behind the last door in line. To my right there were two doors and to the left – only one. It was open so I could see it was the bathroom. If so, I had a fifty-fifty chance of hitting the Jackpot on the first try. So I quietly rushed into the closest room on the right and nearly fist-bumped the air when I realised it was Mr. Smith’s bedroom.
Not wishing to invade his privacy more than was needed (Not that you’re not doing it anyway by snooping around his bedroom without permission.) I gave the space an overall scan while asshole-me analysed stuff in my head, and only moved things around when it came to the most obvious hiding places. It didn’t take a lot to conclude a woman hadn’t stepped foot inside the prim room. And when I heard the clinking of cups, I rushed back to the living room and nearly tripped into the coffee table in my haste to sit down on the couch. Ten seconds later, Hanji entered with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. Her smile made my shoulders tense.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Her brown eyes settled on my face and I deliberately maintained eye contact prior to speaking up because one of the few practical lessons on Psychology Erwin Smith had taught had been about making a good impression on somebody. Eye contact strengthened trust and promoted honesty and determination. It was low of me to apply this here but, like I’d entertained myself at the hotel by playing a lame detective, here I needed to be a proper secret agent.
“You and Mr. Smith are good friends, as far as I know. Did he tell you about his feelings for Annie before they got together?” A gentle smile sat on my lips as I curiously gazed into Hanji’s eyes. The action and expression were both meant to predispose her to trust my pure intentions and I guess they did. Now, this here – playing a dumb little lamb – was a Raven trick, not a psychological one.
“Well, I had a hunch the girl he liked to talk about was a student but he never told me outright her name or specified anything inappropriate, if that’s what you’re hinting at. I wouldn’t be so happy for him if there was anything fishy going on.” Hanji grinned and I sipped on my coffee with a hum. My brows raised at the taste. If nothing else, I’d say this woman made excellent coffee. I would certainly visit again. When I put my cup down, I shook my head.
“No, no. Same here really. I had my suspicions at some point but somebody who waits that long is genuine in his feelings so, that at least I trust about him. When exactly did he mention her in that way, though? If he has at all.” She crossed her legs with a chuckle and leaned back against the couch. I crossed my legs, too. That, people, was called mirroring. Not a Raven trick. Just a woman’s trick of subconsciously making somebody else like you. Could never be a Raven trick because we were too good at picking up on it so we banished it altogether.
“Maybe a year ago. He was really torn back then because, you know, the age gap and all that. He felt guilty for it. But his feelings went maybe an additional year back. He told me Annie had become an object of interest for him about the time some water-balloon-related accident had made her take your place in detention so you could go on a date with your boyfriend. Then she’d persuaded Erwin into not punishing you because you’d been framed.” The story’s last few sentences were spoken in a softer voice, almost like Hanji was uncertain whether she was remembering everything correctly. I’d sipped on my coffee up until the last moment, when my hands put it down with an eager gasp. The mention of the situation had made my incessant frustration on the topic reignite.
“That’s the truth! Hitch threw the balloon at our History teacher and made a run for it so Annie and I looked guilty! It was an undeserved punishment and Eren was really looking forward to celebrating our anniversary that day, so there was no way I could miss it,” I defended fervently, scowling in outrage at the mere thought. I’d begged Annie to somehow slip out of detention, too, so we could later scheme how to prove it had been Hitch’s fault. Except my best friend had decided to be the brave knight. Still, another detail seemed to draw Hanji’s attention more.
“Eren? Eren Jaeger?” Her confused voice brought me back to reality only so I could hear my boyfriend’s (Ex-boyfriend, darling. Asshole-me corrected.) name out of her mouth. I bit back a spiteful snort at the arrogant tone in my head. The fact she was right was beside the point. The reminder was king of unneeded right now.
“Has Mr. Smith mentioned him?” I inquired cautiously, lifting my cup to my mouth in order for it to hide the uncertain pout of my bottom lip. I couldn’t be the perfect actress if we suddenly started talking about Eren Jaeger. Before I knew it, I’d gulped down the whole coffee and Hanji had watched me do it with an empathetic smile tugging at her lips. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose before clearing her throat with a nod.
“Yeah. He mentions what a good couple you are.” Her smile was big and sincere, and most certainly not meant to hurt one bit. Not meant to make my heart clench like that. She couldn’t have known. Or maybe Annie had said it just once. Or maybe she hadn’t said it at all. My windpipe constricted at the incorrectly used present tense at the end of the sentence. I’d never thought a mere grammatical mistake could be so painful.
“Were. Anyways,” I deliberately avoided looking at the sudden realisation on her face whilst rising to my feet and giving her the brightest smile I could muster, “I should really get going. It was nice chatting with you.” I headed for the door and she followed suit with a muffled “visit again soon”. She locked the door after me and I rushed down the stairs and out of the building like the act of that would erase the last part of our conversation. Focusing on the mission at hand was more important right now. I shook Eren off my mind and contemplated my next step.
Now comes the real thing. His apartment’s like a monk pad, so if the school’s clear, too we know he’s innocent. The five-minute walk turned into a three-minute one due to all the physical strain I exercised in order to distract myself from the impending worsening of my mood. By the time I’d realised it, I was marching across the small park leading to the high school gates. And if he isn’t innocent? Asshole-me’s cocky rebuttal made me shake my head. You and I both know he is. Don’t play the devil. And before she could respond, I saw Mr. Smith’s silhouette in the distance and ducked behind a pair of bushes. He was with a woman I hadn’t seen amongst the staff prior to my graduation. I was spying on them when a hand rested on my shoulder. My soul left my body, I bit back a scream and was about to end a man’s whole career (and future offspring) with an uncalculated punch to the nuts when I heard Levi’s voice.
“Princess, what the hell are you doing here?” My father’s intern was crouching behind me with a suspicious frown that made me so angry I slapped his hand off my shoulder and stared at him with utmost indignation. He could’ve ruined my mission and I’d prefer not to get questioned on why I was stalking my high school teacher.
“Asshole, don’t do that,” I hissed with a racing heartbeat and he stayed quite unimpressed by my panic. “My soul was on its way out of my fucking body and--- Wait a second, what are you doing here?” I cut myself off in the middle of a rant and my brows furrowed because, frankly, he couldn’t have a brilliant excuse such as mine for lurking next to a high school like a top-notch creep.
“I asked first, so maybe I should get an---“ I muffled the rest of his retort with my hand as the other one pulled him by the collar so his head could hide behind the bushes properly. That resulted in him losing his balance and almost crashing into my chest but, luckily, that didn’t happen. With his arms on the ground on each side of my body and my fingers stubbornly pressing against his mouth, we listened to the incoming Mr. Smith and his female companion.
“Do you still have a lot of paperwork?” The gentle voice asking that made my lips purse. Then Levi bit into my fingers and forced them off his mouth. I gaped at his audacity and glared.
“We have a lot of transfers this year. I have to talk to two different families today.” The familiar tone of my former Psychology teacher sounded. My ears were graced by his heavy sigh, followed by a sympathetic hum from the woman next to him.
“It’s really hard being a teacher. The only work I did was when Mrs. Stevenson got a nasty papercut last week,” the nurse said, confirming her position as the alleged lover, which, more or less, made my eyes narrow in suspicion as Levi attempted to analyse my behaviour. This, however, was a puzzle he wouldn’t put together without any clues.
“You still come in, though. That’s what I call commitment.” I could imagine the blond’s smile as they kept walking towards the high school gates. Once their backs were facing us, I peeked through the bushes at them stirring their coffees and him letting her in first like a gentleman. They got lost around the corner and I let out a breath of relief before checking the small red crescents on my fingers with a pout.
“Now, why are you stalking Erwin?” Levi’s question reminded me of his presence and I turned to face him with a scoff. My determination to prove myself worthy of Annie’s friendship wouldn’t buckle in the face of his prejudice. I couldn’t half-ass anything when it came to this mission.
“Annie’s worried he might be cheating on her with the nurse so I’m checking to see if it’s true or not,” I explained with a nonchalant shrug that made the raven scowl at me disapprovingly. I would’ve probably sided with that kind of reaction if I hadn’t already tried and failed.
“You’re not giving Brows enough credit. He’s loyal to boot.” I doubted Levi was on equal par of friendship with Erwin as Hanji, but I knew he was a good judge of character. The fact his defence on the topic matched the one I’d had was the strongest weapon in existence, but, unfortunately, it wasn’t proof.
“I said the same, asshole, but this isn’t about what we know of Erwin’s character. It’s about my best friend’s feelings and I won’t be reassuring her empty-handed. Now, what are you doing here?” I was sure he would answer now that I’d given him my summary of the situation. And, as most times when it came down to it, I was right. He flatly explained (Action that let us spend time together or helped me in a way.) he’d seen me looking like a creep on his way to visit Hanji so he’d decided to check what was going on. His grey hues struck me like the warning look of a strict parent struck a curious child with a tendency of getting into trouble. Rightfully so, but a simple look wouldn’t stop me from making a fool of myself for the sake of my friendship. Maybe he already knew that. “Well, I skipped the second half of my shift to play a secret agent and since you have the story now, you can go.” I crossed my arms and stared at him challengingly. My expression tried to convey the message that he had to leave me be, but, as it turned out, he was deaf to such messages. It wasn’t a surprise that besides being arrogant he was also stubborn as a goddamn mule.
“You’ll fuck up if I don’t stay.” He stood from the ground and dusted off his clothes before offering little overly offended me a pale hand to grab. I didn’t take it, got up on my own and put my hands to my hips, expecting some further justification. Now, to this wordless message, he wasn’t deaf. How shocking. “You lack tact and you’re not deft or quiet enough to do this on your own.” He made me sound more like an ape than a human. The pattern couldn’t yet materialise in my mind but later I would realise (Excuse.) this had been exactly a part of it.
“And what’s your plan, Mr. Secret Agent?” I asked with a glare, folding my arms over my chest once more as he huffed and gestured for me to follow him. Moving deftly down the path through the trees, we reached the gates and he explained his plan, that wasn’t really a plan, so matter-of-factly it was almost like he’d been on such needlessly dramatic missions a thousand times. It reminded me of the night he’d gotten me to Hitch’s party with the handmade rope.
“If you want to spy on Erwin, we’ll have to sneak up to his office first. Trailing him is off-limits because he’s surprisingly shrewd. The only thing we can do is eavesdrop. And you’ll have to keep your mouth closed the whole time. Do you think you can?” The perfect grammar ruined the effect but the intent stayed and I pushed at his shoulder with a glare as we crossed the yard and slipped inside the building.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that last one,” I smiled wryly and he snorted. “And what were you in a past life – in the mafia?” The joking inquiry made him huff as we went up the stairs to the Psychology cabinet on the second floor where he was supposed to be doing paperwork. If we were lucky, we wouldn’t run into the families he had meetings with and if we were unlucky, like most times, well… we’d improvise because we were relatively good at it.
“If I was, I would’ve said to put a gun in his mouth and just ask him if he’s cheating or not.” The volume of Levi’s voice had dropped since we were nearing our destination but that didn’t prevent me from hearing the muffled tone of my former teacher. I blurted out a sharp “shut up” and my alarmed gaze bore into Levi’s face but he was dead-set on not obeying me, even in a situation as crucial as this one was. Not a life-or-death predicament, certainly, but a decent secret agent had to avoid being questioned at all cost. “You shut up,” the raven returned with furrowed eyebrows, making my lips purse.
“No, really.” The sombreness in my voice was clearly incapable of conveying the message that I genuinely needed him to clamp his piehole shut. And when he opened his mouth to defy me once more, only my nickname slipped out before my hand muffled the rest. I’d had it. I grabbed the back of his shirt and tugged towards the door we’d stopped next to. My own ear leaned against the cold wood and the raven’s icy glare pierced my temple when Erwin’s voice sounded on the other side, shutting up whatever wordless message the intern had for my tactless ways.
“I’m sure she doesn’t know. It’ll be an unpleasant surprise, so we’ll keep it a secret instead.” A gentle timbre and an amused chuckle like that coming from Erwin Smith would’ve made Annie’s knees wobble but the only thing they did to me was heavy damage. My eyes widened and I met Levi’s surprised gaze in order to exchange opinions telepathically – the one advantage of all that mind-reading he performed all the time.
Are you hearing what I’m hearing? My unbelieving expression asked, making the raven nod weakly in confirmation. My fingers slowly parted from his mouth. Tell me it’s not what I think it is. I begged with pursed lips and knitted brows, only to have him give me a helpless look and a shake of his head. Can’t do that princess. Came the response. I could almost hear him say it with his tone doing that small regretful dip. I weakly slapped the back of his head with narrowed eyes in order to voice my reprimand. Real reassuring, asshole. The conversation ended there, as the unsuspecting blond teacher on the other side of the door spoke up once more.
“If we’re careful, she won’t find out. I’ll see you later.” I couldn’t believe I was hearing such things from Annie’s fateful boyfriend’s lips. Not to mention, the moralist preacher on duty who’d lectured me for four years. If this wasn’t a misunderstanding, I would probably try to punch him. “I love you. Bye.” This was probably the end of the conversation. I grabbed Levi’s wrist and pulled him into the next cabinet in line, which I knew for a fact was abandoned at all times of the year. Why I knew it was a story which mostly consisted of Eren and I making out there and never getting caught because it was one of those empty places lazy authors used for turning plot points in stories about high school romance.
“We heard what we heard,” I concluded gravely, hopping up on the teacher’s desk as Levi stood by the whiteboard and glared at his feet as though they’d give him the legitimate excuse that would redeem what we’d just eavesdropped on. The most he came up with was the relatively weak defence that Erwin had been on the phone. I craned my neck to observe the white ceiling and avoid his pointed gaze. “That sounds like a good cheating strategy and it adds up with what Annie told me about the nurse calling him daily,” I reasoned calmly, making Levi hum as he crossed his arms. Everything we’d heard was incriminating but there was no way for us to prove his innocence. Unless… I looked back at him with a giant grin. It didn’t take him long to notice the crazy glint lingering about in my hues. “There’s one way to find out,” I mused slyly and the mind-reader hurried to object.
“No, princess. We’ve already committed a form of trespassing and this is the dictionary definition of a violation of one’s privacy.” He stepped forth firmly, a warning standing out in his eyes. I shrugged with as much carelessness as I had in me and folded my arms in an attempt to provoke him.
“Don’t be a chicken, asshole. You go in and get him out of the room, preferably with his phone not on him. I’ll sneak in and check who he was talking to. It’s that simple. You were right in sensing you had to come along.” First, provoke. Second, negotiate and belittle. Third, mock. I was smirking and he could sense there was more. The most important step that triggered what was dearest to him – namely, his pride. “Unless you’d rather we do this the right way and ask him straightforwardly? A perfect little boy like you would love that, won’t he?” Fourth, patronise. Fifth, condescend. In simpler terms – fish, line, hook – and look, we’ve got a fish already. This technique our family called the Jared Raven Special.
“You’ll owe me so fucking much,” he grumbled in frustration as I bit back a victorious grin. Not that this had a way of failing, taking into account it worked on everybody. But also, pride was important to Levi. Reputation. Being good and behaving and acting with just a bit of condescension because he was better than others. Because he was. But now the line between bad and better was blurry because morals meant doing something he was mortified of and getting called out on it sure had to feel like a nightmare. Things like breaking the law in small doses were no longer of importance when he had to prove himself.
“I can pay you back in kisses,” I mocked innocently, fluttering my eyelashes at his glare and knowing he’d refuse. The “please act your age” look he gave me only fuelled my wish to keep going. “No?” I piped with a smile, slowly morphing into a smirk as my lips parted. “I thought so.” My smugness came apart when he stepped forward. Maybe I deserved this payback, what with shutting him up and cutting him off so many times today. I certainly didn’t expect it to take such (pleasant) form. His lips caught me off guard when they landed on mine. Then my hands cupped his face and his hand tugged on my waist. He smelled of lavender shampoo and I felt like I was a sophomore again. To somebody else, we probably looked like a horny pair taking part in the movie adaptation of a random romance novel with a sappy ending. “That was a violation of my personal space,” I breathed out, hand against his chest as he snorted. Heat crept up the back of my neck when our eyes met and I pushed at his chest, gaze averting. “Now go.” He left the room silently and I took a deep breath prior to hopping off the desk. I eavesdropped – muffled conversation, some cussing, the closing of a door – and when the footsteps fading down the hallway disappeared altogether, I left my hiding place, looked around warily, slipped into the Psychology cabinet and snatched Erwin’s phone from the desk with an elated fist-bump. My exultation was short-lived.
“Fuck’s sake, he has a password. Let it be something sappy.” So I tried Annie’s birthday. A message in red announced the reduced number of attempts I had to get this stupid thing unlocked before shutting down. I tried his mother’s birthday because Annie had told me once he actually had a proper relationship with her. Nothing. I tried a typical grandpa password of repetitive zeros. Nothing. I tried the date of the water balloon accident. Nothing. I knew nobody said last time was the charm because it wasn’t true but I was about to fact-check that since I could already hear Levi’s voice down the hallway, which meant I had to hurry up.
Last chance, darling. Be him for a second and insert yourself in a relatively meaningless existence full of duty. Now, what’s the best day he’s lived? Asshole-me had never been a big help in situations that required composure because she often made me lose it, but her rhetorical questions flipped the switch. The best day he’d lived? The one on which he could be with Annie, of course, taking into account the rude stuff with the meaningless existence and all that my asshole side blurted out. No other day, in hindsight, would matter as much – not even the one on which she’d been born or the one when they’d met. Fingers crossed. I typed the date of our graduation and the screen unlocked, revealing his call history along with the answer to all my questions and Annie’s worries.
My eyes widened at the call log, I turned off the phone and left it exactly where I’d taken it from, sneaking out of the room as soundlessly as possible right after. Or, at least, that was how the original plan went. Nothing was ever that simple when it came down to applying theory to practice. We could compare this to dancing for a second. Yes, think of this mission as dancing. When Mr. Smith and Levi entered the room, I was involved in a motionless tango with myself inside the tall locket next to the door. Then I did the only thing I could think of and texted my father’s intern.
I need help, asshole. My SOS dinged in his back pocket and he read the message while Erwin was taking a seat at his desk. The raven’s lips pursed. My chicken was mad at me. Not a surprise.
I can’t leave you alone for two seconds. Where are you? Even his typing sounded angry. I could see him scowl as he faced the whiteboard and tried not to grunt in exasperation. I replied as quickly as possible, wishing to get out of my hiding place for fear the weird smell of chemicals would make me sneeze.
*One-hundred and twenty. And I’m in the locker to your left. I need a diversion to get out. At that, I felt like his wide eyes successfully managed to pierce the metal parting us so he could glare me down into a puddle. Before he could type a reply of his own, Erwin turned to address him and made us break our alleged eye contact.
“In relation to that, Levi, I was thinking about a conversation I had with Hanji. I know I have no right to criticize, but I ask you to be more aware of the girl’s feelings.” The blond’s concerned expression, along with the confusing speech that obviously annoyed Levi, made my nose scrunch up in puzzlement. I didn’t need an additional load of encrypted information when everything had been successfully unravelled at last.
“In this case, she has none. And shitty-glasses has no right to discuss those things with you.” Levi looked just a bit angry, to say the least. I wondered if he would’ve reacted the same way had he not been aware I was in the room. I squinted at his profile through the little gaps in the locker and saw him glaring at Erwin like the blond had insulted his whole family tree. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, forming spiteful fists that made my head tilt in mild confusion.
“That’s true but you know how she is. We talk about everything and she always wants to help out. In this case, she thinks I can be the one offering advice.” Erwin tried to ease the tension but his gentle voice only made Levi’s shoulders tense further. It was almost like his storage of abilities consisted of everything but being composed right now.
“Your Psychology degree doesn’t mean you can lecture me about feelings every time we meet. You’re perceptive enough, so get the gist that I don’t want to talk about this.” Levi rolled his eyes at the whiteboard before leaning back against the first row of desks. Folding his arms over his chest was, as I’d long figured out, a defence mechanism against unwanted conversations that – albeit hardly functional – he never stopped putting to use.
“It’s not about feelings this time, it’s about attachments. You like to renounce the former but everybody has the latter.” Blue clashed with grey as the blond teacher intertwined his fingers over the wooden desk he sat behind. The words that left his mouth made Levi snort with so much spite it made my brows raise in surprise. The following curt denial the raven provided only proved he was too proud to admit he had feelings of any kind.
“I don’t.” Getting a hand through his hair was a sign of frustration and, accompanied by those two short words, it almost made me scoff from inside the narrow locker. The circumstances preventing me from doing it, however, weren’t present in my former teacher’s case. Erwin scoffed at my father’s intern, an amused smile tugging at his lips as their eyes met.
“Then what is that still doing around your neck? The event was done long ago. Hanji also says you never take it off. She tried to take a look at it once and… what was it? Oh yeah, you nearly slapped her.” The words made Levi flinch. I blinked owlishly at the scene because my attention was brought to the silver necklace poking from under the collar of his shirt. I’d seen it once or twice thus far but never thought about it too much. Levi grumbled and approached the window a second prior to snapping.
“It just became a habit to wear it. Look, if you’re going to keep talking about this, at least let’s do it by an open window so I can jump if I get too tired of listening.” He opened the window and the blond rose from his seat to join him, either out of need for fresh air or for fear the raven might actually keep his word. I didn’t know which, but I knew this was my chance. Keeping as quiet as possible, I opened the locker, only for it to make a loud click. I sprang for the door like a wild cat.
“Did you hear anything?” Erwin’s voice sounded but it was too late – I was leaning against the wall outside with a hand over my mouth to muffle my ragged breathing and wide eyes blinking at the empty hallway in mild panic. This has been a close one.
“Seems like old age is catching up unexpectedly fast – you’re hearing things now. I have to get going,” Levi said, making me breathe out in relief as I heard his nearing footsteps.
“We didn’t even---“
“I don’t care. I didn’t come to discuss feelings.” The door opened when the raven cut off Erwin and his pale clammy fingers wasted no time in grabbing my upper arm the moment he turned the corner. Without exchanging as much as a glance, we paced down the empty hallway.
“Attachments!” My former teacher’s offended exclamation followed us and made our panicky heartbeats quicken further. I would’ve giggled at the pettiness but we were skipping two steps at a time and Levi’s expression was so constipated I thought I could spare him a bit.
“Tell me you managed to look at his phone,” the raven grumbled flatly, sounding too close to dead on the inside that just a single note of an octave lower would’ve let his voice finally match the way his skin looked at all times. I threw him a sideways glance he decided to ignore for the sake of putting his hands in his pockets, which, in turn, drew my attention to his outfit. I hadn’t had time to evaluate it in our adrenaline-fuelled haste. He was wearing a plain pair of black jeans and a simple black T-shirt that seemed just a bit tight around the chest. Just great – when I was set on avoiding him, too. It was amazing how my perception of his outfits depended greatly on the firmness of my decision to not engage in any “sexual” physical contact with him.
“We’re technically saved because he was talking to Annie, but I do need to verify one last thing to reassure her properly considering all aspects of the issue. Prepare for a little bit of panic and a yelp.” I glanced ahead as we took on the last flight of stairs to the first floor when I sensed Levi throwing me a doubtful look. However, it was too late. I knew the nurse’s office was mere feet away from us and I had to put my best acting skills to use. The lack of audience for a conceited person like me was a pity.
“What the fuck is that supposed to---“
I grit my teeth, shut my eyes and kicked my own ankle like I’d kick a molester in the groin. There began my journey through the air to the hard floor at the foot of the stairs. My shrill shriek sounded – made to sound as realistically as possible, closely followed by the fleeting touch of Levi’s fingers on mine as he tried to catch me. I heard him curse. It was loud and my palms stung when I caught myself at the last second, taking my time to sit up before taking a breath and biting back a sigh.
“It hurts so much,” I wailed loudly and Levi stared at me in visible shock. My eyes were pinned to the nurse’s office’s open door and then – the fair-haired woman rushing out with a worried expression on her youthful face. My head bowed and I inspected my red palms with a blank expression, thinking of a way to make this spectacle as believable as possible.
“Are you okay? What happened?” The nurse’s melodic voice was laced with concern and her brows were furrowed as I stared up at her like a kicked puppy whilst continuously recalling Eren’s voice as he broke up with me. My asshole side, set on saving me the actual pain, pulled at the question marks of each painful inquiry (What’s Eren doing now? Is he well? Does he ever miss me? Has he found somebody else?) that tried jabbing itself into my mind and hauled them across its entirely to the very back, where they wouldn’t be too big a bother just yet.
“We were visiting my boyfriend’s former teacher and I tripped. It really hurts.” Tears visibly pushing at the corners of my eyes, I threw Levi a pointed look while the nurse tried to examine my ankle. Her blond locks swayed as she eyed my slumped posture apprehensively, dainty fingers tucking a small strand of short hair behind her ear.
“Come to my office, I’ll get a better look there. Do you think you can walk?” Her countenance nearly pierced my resolve as it soared soothingly above me with an outstretched hand so frail it could’ve done no indecency whatsoever. Not like Annie’s hands, with their small palms and calloused knuckles, skin worn out by the help she lent to her father and the several fights she’d initiated to protect me. Not at all alike, those two pairs of hands. I knew which I liked best. I gritted my teeth in determination, grabbed the fair-haired woman’s fingers and attempted to lift myself off the ground.
“Ow!” A pained groan left my lips as soon as my “wounded” ankle was put into action and I stumbled. The nurse couldn’t keep me upright but when I thought I’d fall back onto the floor (Oh, the woes of a dedicated actor! I need an OSCAR, father!) my head bumped into a toned chest and a protective pair of arms held me up. My stance relaxed like melting gelatin when my eyes locked with his. “Levi, carry me,” I whined, ignoring the way his fingers twitched over my shoulder at the sound of his name. My (for the third time now) fake boyfriend rolled his eyes and complied with my request as the nurse led us to her office, hoisting me up into his arms in the blink of an eye and forcing me to stifle a yelp as my arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. “Grab her phone while she examines my ankle. You have about a minute to check her texts with Erwin,” I whispered firmly, to which the intern’s ashen hues darkened murderously at my face. His grip on my back tightened and my eyes slid down the length of his nose to the curve of his thin lips and then, the collar of his shirt. My eyes narrowed at the silver necklace hiding beneath.
“There will be a password.” The retort slipped past his pursed lips, making me snort as he spied on the nurse’s back and walked as slowly as possible towards the door she disappeared past. I held onto him, suppressing the urge to steal glances of his necklace again and check whether I could make out anything about it or the pendant its existence presupposed.
“I can bet you five bucks there won’t be.” I barely had the time to whisper it before he stepped through the door and put me down on the bed by it with surprising gentleness – in comparison to the way he’d lifted me up at least. The nurse crouched in front of me and cautiously observed my dangling legs and their red knees as the raven-haired intern reluctantly scanned the room for her phone. Once he saw it on the desk by the window, he approached with slow soundless steps and a pair of furrowed brows.
“I want you to tell me exactly where it hurts.” The nurse’s words stripped Levi of my intent gaze as I nodded compliantly and felt her fingers roll down my sock after taking off my shoe. Fingertips firmly moving over the places she considered to have been fractured, she was still oblivious to the lack of pain I would show under normal circumstances. So now I had to think up a spot that hurt, too. And while her fingers felt around my tendons, joints and bones, I let out small “it doesn’t hurt”, “hurts just a bit” and “no, to the other side.” And my own oblivious ass didn’t at all expect what came next.
“Ouch, yes, there,” I exclaimed in surprise, wide eyes and gritted teeth, and asshole-me was laughing inside my head. Karma – or whatever this was – obviously hadn’t decided to treat me kindly today. The nurse gave me an apologetic look and I glanced at Levi in mild panic when she stood up and went to grab something from the cabinet across the room but he was prepared – leaning against the window and nonchalantly gazing down at his own phone. “God, I’m so clumsy,” I chuckled awkwardly when the nurse returned and began tending to my ankle.
“It happens to everyone. I skipped some stairs a few days ago, too,” she shared with a small reassuring smile while Levi glared at me before making sure she wasn’t about to turn around anytime soon so he could get to work. I leaned back against the wall and let her put a compress on my ankle as a sigh left my pouting lips. I had to get in character.
“It’s dangerous when the school’s almost empty. Isn’t it lonely having only teachers around?” Empathy packed into a compassionate statement did wonders to prompt the nurse’s opinion on the matter. I guessed she was a good person, but I couldn’t be sure so I was yet to be burdened by guilt on the topic of manipulating her in such a heartless manner. But, well, if I could do it for my family for pride and money, I sure could do it to a stranger for my best friend and love.
“Not really if they are your friends, but since I’m new here, I suppose it’s still a bit uncomfortable. It takes time to adjust.” She gave a sheepish smile and a gentle crease appeared in the middle of her forehead. My chin dipped as I observed Levi guiltily grab her phone over her shoulder and turn it on, grey eyes not once moving to look at me.
“The teacher we visited was really nice – Mr. Smith, if I remember correctly. You should make friends with him. He seems kind.” The suggestion, asshole-me and I agreed, didn’t come from either of us – it came from the naïve five-year-old I wished I’d never been. Still, even she helped sometimes. The innocent voice did, too. And I was glad to have lived through one too many Thanksgiving Holidays, Christmases and Lamb Holidays to be able to steer the conversation exactly where I wanted it to be.
“We’ve been on good terms so far but he’s got a lot of work.” The nurse brushed a wavy lock behind her ear as I gave a small snort and leaned down to whisper closer to her ear. If this next line didn’t do the trick, I would have to think of a back-up plan. But it would do the trick because there was nothing people loved more than finding they shared something with somebody else. So if this was a homewrecker, she’d love to hear from a cheating whore. And if it was a superficial woman with a crush and minimal intentions to pursue it, she’d love to hear from an immorally superficial teenager. Win-win. For me at least.
“Don’t tell my boyfriend, but I think he’s kind of hot. A bit old for me, though.” Sweet as honey and ever so lacking in the implausibility department, the words seemed not to strike even remotely close to any kind of chord in the woman in front of me. My red knees stung as she disinfected them with the caution of a surgeon and my face briefly fell when she didn’t grace me with as much as a doubtful glance.
“He’s not exactly my type, but I suppose you’re right.” She shrugged and my jaw would’ve gone slack had I possessed less composure. It took me a second to banish my bewilderment for the sake of prodding further by asking if she had a boyfriend if Mr. Smith didn’t interest her. The curious inquiry made her chuckle. “Not really.” Her hazel gaze darted up to meet mine and her sides reddened briefly in joy. Her next words made me (nearly break character) shit my pants. “I’ve been married for seven years now. My husband’s the sweetest man in the universe and you should see our daughter – so excited to finally go to school. Erwin is actually helping me get her into a decent elementary because he’s got connections.” Her attention returned to my ankle as she checked the bandage and I used the window of opportunity to frantically gesture at Levi. Alarms blared in both our heads as he put the phone whence he’d taken it like it had stung him and I was caught red-handed amidst my panic. “Is everything okay?” She quirked a brow, worried and naïve, and I didn’t have the heart to act like a hollow-headed girlie anymore. My hand was frozen in air where it had repeatedly slashed in front of my throat in order to make Levi bail on our plan.
“Yes, everything’s fine. I was just fanning myself because the air is a bit stuffy. But your family sounds great.” I awkwardly fanned myself with that same hand as Levi stepped away from the desk and came to my side. The nurse gave us a wondrous smile prior to standing up with the announcement my ankle hadn’t sustained serious injury and needed just a bit of rest for a few days to be back to normal. “Thank you for the check-up. I hope everything goes well with your daughter’s enrollment.” We walked out after that – I was limping and Levi was shaking his head in what I liked to believe was a mixture of bewilderment and disappointment.
“How did you know?” Came the bored question once we’d arrived at the gates. I took a second to process what it meant and a sly smile slipped over my lips as I explained with a careless shrug that she was a nurse. I knew he was clueless as to how her profession was in any way related to her password. I glanced at his profile. Not cold today. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His sharp gaze bore into mine and I looked ahead, suddenly finding the front a more comfortable view to observe.
“It means a secret agent has to keep some secrets to themselves.” I could feel my lips curl at the edges as a pair of snorts sounded a second later. Mine was self-assured and his sounded tired of life. “I guess the whole conflict is resolved now. I’ll call Annie to give her a full report later.” The smile on my face softened as we crossed the park and passed the bushes we’d hidden behind about twenty minutes earlier. It seemed like a good idea to nudge the raven’s side. “I’ll make sure to tell her I couldn’t have managed without my chicken.” I glanced up and (Silence.) saw his eyes were pinned to the front. He clicked his tongue in distaste at the new nickname. We both knew it wouldn’t hold. We kept quiet afterwards, walking and listening to the speeding cars, and watching our step over the pavement.
“Your father mentioned the business trip today. We’re going next Tuesday and returning a week later.” The declaration startled me out of my thoughtless daze. I glanced at him but he didn’t look. Over his shoulder, I saw the cars. It didn’t click at all that he was purposefully walking on that side. I curiously questioned the destination and had to put my acting skills to use yet again. I had no right to feel bad that he was going on vacation but that wasn’t it. The whole situation left a bad taste in my mouth. What if he never came back, like Will? I had my reasons to think Levi wouldn’t mention anything to anybody in case he decided to go back home, because they might try to change his mind. “Minnesota for others, New Jersey for us,” he said, eyes pinned to the concrete beneath his feet. Too indulged in thoughts of next Tuesday, I didn’t see him look at my limping form.
“The beach sounds good.” I smiled and it felt forced. “Try to tan and if you come back looking like a tomato, I’ll never let you live it down,” I mused with a strained smirk as asshole-me, contrary to my expectations, decided to help me dismiss the unnerving question (Will you come back at all?) from my mind so I could return to playing a more plausible version of myself. Levi scoffed and stated he was tanning enough. His hands were in his pockets and I threw him a pointed look. My fingers were tugging on the pockets of my own shorts. “The only thing you did was get a sunburned nose on my birthday, asshole. Don’t flatter your complexion that much.” I rolled my eyes and he glared at my temple.
“I don’t need constructive criticism from an overdone steak,” he spat flatly, canines flashing in the afternoon sun like most times he became a tad bit snarky during our banter. I suppressed the urge to stare, mostly because it would lead to the thought of his mouth and how it had been on mine less than an hour ago.
“Very well, porcelain boy. Just don’t be offended when somebody in New Jersey mistakes you for a ghost.” I elbowed his shoulder with a huff, making us both face the front. I came to realise sometime later that we were walking so close we were inches apart from looking like a pair of lovebirds incapable of touching because of the heat. A ridiculous comparison. We could never look like that. One would think I’d go back to maintaining my twelve-inch distance after realising it wasn’t there, but today, I didn’t feel like it. Not at all, not right now and not until we reached the house. We were back home in less than half an hour, Levi called Hanji to tell her he wouldn’t be coming over at all and my ankle was throbbing under the cool compress as I lay on my bed and told Annie about my adventures.
I omitted the part where I’d kissed my father’s intern again and she was ecstatic to hear the love of her life was far from cheating on her – in fact, he was such a good person she would ring him up and surprise him with a date. I chatted with my best friend for nearly an hour, then we hung up and I decided to go downstairs and reward myself with a sandwich for a job well done, but Levi the mind-reader had beat me to the task. Two dishes full of triangular sandwiches sat on the marble counter, along with two cups – one with coffee and one with tea. And, of course, the handsome ebony-haired intern I didn’t think I’d ever deserve. My sandwich had no peppers. A crooked smile spoke of my gratitude instead of my vocal cords and I dug into my meal, thinking of my diet all the while. It was ironic that the one snack I couldn’t touch was sitting right next to me.
Repeat.
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“You should’ve told me sooner,” I scolded over the phone, turned away from the guy sitting inside the restaurant waiting for me so I could argue with the asshole I’d come to tolerate outside. My eyes were glued to my ring and I tried to pick at it while waiting for Levi’s response.
“I’m not supposed to report to you, princess. It was just a suggestion.” His spiteful snort was audible and I could imagine his eyes glaring so vividly it was as if I’d seen it happen right in front of me. Shuffling of clothes was heard in the background as I pouted, visibly irritated with how bad he’d been at managing the simple piece of information he gave me now.
“Well, you should’ve made it sooner because I’m busy and won’t be back home before nine.” I was frowning and my lips were pursed in frustration when he flatly noted my shift wasn’t that long. A small question mark hung at the end of the statement ever so timidly and I nearly wheezed. “No, I’m… having dinner.” The pause gave it away. Levi was so good at reading me he immediately knew what I was trying to hide. The indifference with which he called out my lie wasn’t something I enjoyed.
“You should’ve just said you were on a date with Rivers. I’m not your boyfriend so I won’t get jealous.” I could imagine him scoff. I could imagine the downward curl of his lips. I could imagine him folding his clothes. I knew the discovery hadn’t affected him in any way. Maybe I was hoping for something, but (He’s not like that and we both know it.) asshole-me was good at making me feel bad about it, without even sounding catty. I gulped and I knew I had to get over myself. Levi wasn’t my slave or anything of the sort. Not my boyfriend either.
“I’m aware of that, asshole, but it’s not an actual date. Adam covered for me last Friday during our secret mission so I’m repaying him,” I explained casually, twirling a strand of my hair around my finger in thought. I glanced at the setting sun and the people on the street, ignoring the way my heart pounded like I was being chased by a wild animal.
“It’s been his biggest dream since he met you anyway. And since we’re leaving early tomorrow, I won’t wait up.” In other words – I had to avoid getting my hopes up. It wasn’t unexpected. I was nowhere near thinking he’d stay up to see me. I wouldn’t if I were him. “Have fun on your date,” he drawled flatly, not a hint of mockery present. He was too tired to make fun of me and I was too disappointed to tease him about it.
“Likewise. Keep count of the girls who hit on you,” I reminded before he hung up and I made my way inside the restaurant, taking my seat across from Adam, who browsed the menu with such glistening orbs it made me smile. It was nice to see somebody this excited, no matter the context. And when he asked whether that had been my scary friend, I nodded, mustering all the smiles and energy I had left after a tiring day at work. Adam deserved nothing less right now. “Yeah, he’s going on a vacation.” It gave him the green light to keep perusing the menu. He was so eager I would’ve thought he’d gone the day without eating. “Now order whatever you want. It’s my treat for your help on Friday.”
“Everything for you, seeing as you’re willing to do so much for a friend.” He put down the menu and closed it with a smile. His eyes dipped to my bare knees and my bandaged ankle before returning to my face. What I’d done was nothing compared to what Annie did for me, but it had gotten her spirits up, so maybe it was something. I returned it had been a cool secret mission and the waiter approached our table, took our orders and went away as Adam tilted his head curiously. “Did it fix everything?” Suddenly, I was mute. My heart felt like a therapy ball getting squished and the silver around my ring finger stung unpleasantly, sending a dreaded reminder to the surface of my mind. One I’d rather go without.
Levi could disappear. He could go back to his quiet hometown surrounded by pretty views by (Loire) that river he’d told me about many times I’d never put effort into remembering the name of. He could go back to his mother and little sister and be happy without us. Us? Yes, us – me, my parents and our house. The house I’d been very opposed to calling “his” at the beginning. His room would be empty tomorrow morning and it could stay like that if he so wished. He could leave and I’d have no say in it because I wasn’t part of the big picture for him. Just a temporary visitor – a smudge in the corner he’d barely notice. My smart mouth hadn’t earned me a bigger role. If I’d been a good person, would it have?
At the wave of uncertainty, a bright NOT EXACTLY sign blinked somewhere inside my mind in baby blue, but, as it had become known to all, my answer came out way different than that because I just looked Adam in the eyes with the biggest smile known to mankind and chirped a very confident “yes”, like the manipulative liar I was.
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tag list: @unloved-cadillac ; @donaldthrts
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(I recently reblogged my most recent poll and dropped a bunch of Castor lore in said reblog. Decided to make it it’s own post instead of being buried under a bunch of other stuff. The poll in question was asking when Castor should confess his crush to Raeda, either at Hexside when they were kids or after Eda’s Requiem roughly 30 years later)
Figured I should do a little bit of lore dumping for this instead of leaving you all in the dark. This isn’t to manipulate the votes in any way and is merely to give you all some insight on where the story will go depending on the results. Also my brain was nagging me to tell you some parts of the story, so. A few details may be subject to change.
WARNING: VERY LONG!! IT IS VERY DETAILED!! (I meant to summarize it but I ended up dumping almost the entire plot. This has been in my drafts for the last 72+ hours. Here you go!)
At Hexside: This route is fairly simple and self explanatory. After Castor’s crush on them is pointed out to him by Darius (who doesn’t want a repeat of all the pining he had to endure with Raeda), he spends some time coming to terms with it, worried that his feelings will disrupt the close best friend circle that had formed between him, Raine, and the Clawthornes. During this time, he and Lilith snuck away to Eda’s hideout in the detention room a few times as his feelings developed. Unfortunately, one day during lunch Castor forgot about a prank he was doing with Eda and Raine during that time and they overheard his and Lily’s conversation, making for a very awkward and ill-timed confession that he wasn’t quite ready for.
After a couple weeks of the three silently evaluating how they all felt about each other, they slowly starting dating. And a month and a half in, it was safe to say the trio were head over heels for each other. But things changed a lot once Eda’s curse came into the picture. Castor, Raine, Lilith, even Darius, were all there for her through the first couple of months before she eventually dropped out. Things at Hexside weren’t the same afterward. Well, at least until Eda started sneaking in and spending most of her time in her hideout. Raine, Castor, or both would bring her lunch everyday she was there and sometimes stay for a bit to hang out and talk. But Eda hiding out stopped after a while. Faust had no idea, but even decades later, it’s still up for debate whether or not Bump knew about it. He probably did. (I’m not gonna mention Lilith much after this point since I’m not entirely sure what happens after coven tryouts)
Everyone spent four more years at Hexside before graduating, in which they tried to stay in contact. Castraeda (official ship name) stayed together for years, with Raine teaching Castor the mandolin and Eda teaching him how to play Raine’s Rhapsody. Unfortunately, the curse got worse during this time and Eda quickly began to push the two away. The Raeda breakup occurred while Castor was away, with him soon hearing about it from Lilith. It was a shock to him, but he too was starting to take notice of Eda’s recent behavior. Castor and Raine tried to make it work (with Raine quickly regretting their breakup with Eda) but, as much as it hurt them, ultimately decided to break it off as well and wish each other luck in their endeavors as Raine joined the Bard Coven.
Castor went to comfort Eda soon after, not intending to separate. He stayed at the Clawthorne house with her and Gwen for a few days (Gwen adores him) before they reached a mental understanding that it was time for them to split as well, both unsure about their futures. They made sure to stay friends no matter what happened, but despite everyone’s best efforts to do so, all three of them went their separate ways and mostly went silent for the time being. Raine spent years rising through the ranks of the Bard Coven, Eda went on to become the Owl Lady, and Castor spent a few years undercover as a scout at the EC to gather as much info on Belos as he could as he started to get suspicious of the emperor’s practices. He later switched to a quiet life as a merchant at the market, always taking note of Eda’s many wanted posters, and occasionally talking to Lily when she had the chance.
Later on, a few years after Eda found King, Castor unofficially moved into the Owl House when his home was attacked by Emperor’s Coven scouts who found out he was a wild witch. He figured who else to go to than the most famous wild witch in the isles? King was a bit weird around him and the new change, but warmed up to him as time went on. They never really talked about getting back together, thinking it too soon after reuniting to do so and neither of them brought it up. They were going to stay strictly friends until they felt the time was right, which was never. Surprisingly, this never got difficult when Luz decided to stick around, but as soon as Raine was announced as the new head Bard, Castor knew things were about to get awkward.
And he was sort of right. Later that same day, he and Eda joined the BATs and began helping the group free wild witches. That day, he had never been more relieved to see Raine and Eda together. His feelings for both of them returned with full force and he started pining for those wonderful days again, where it was just the three of them. Not to mention he kicked himself for days for not getting back together with Eda sooner, having already thought about it ever since her near petrification gave him a wake up call. Raine’s presence was all it took for the trio to fall back into a familiar rhythm of sorts. A couple hours into the night, one teary eyed confession from Castor and one wonderful embrace later, they were the happiest they’d been in a long while.
But it would all have to be put on hold, as Eda and Castor’s hearts were shattered when Raine got captured. They were both distraught and had a little bit of trouble sleeping that night, despite the immense joy about King becoming a Clawthorne. And the Coven Day Parade didn’t help things. Castor was ecstatic when Eda managed to find them, only to be met with a version of Raine completely unrecognizable to him, one clearly being controlled by Terra Snapdragon. He watched and heard Eda and Raine’s fight from the nearby rooftops, his heart breaking more with every word out of Raine’s mouth. He and Eda couldn’t believe what had happened for a while after.
Now, due to Castor’s spur of the moment confession of still having feelings for them both, Eda and Castor slowly started to get a bit more affectionate. They were slowly but surely falling back into old ways. This lasted for weeks and became stronger in the days leading up to the DOU, when they needed comfort most. They were both more than a little pissed with Raine when they found out about the pretend brainwashing shortly after being rescued. But they were relived Raine was okay more than anything. Eventually, all was forgiven, especially after Raine met Luz for the first time. Which Castor thought was adorable.
It was that night when everyone else was asleep at the CATTs base that they were able to talk about their feelings a lot more than they were able to in Eda’s Requiem. Deep down, they all wanted to give things another go once all the chaos was over. And that was exactly what they were gonna do, never having stopped loving each other, which was obvious to everyone but them. Admittedly, Castor couldn’t hold in much of his enthusiasm and excitement over the next 24 hours. But as you could guess, things did not go well, starting with Castor being asked to accompany the Hexsquad in rescuing Amity, with him being the only adult in the group not directly involved with stopping the Draining Spell. Not a problem at first, but a heartbreaking fact later on.
From rescuing Luz, to feeling broken seeing the plan fail with Eda and Raine caught right in the middle, to fighting off Belos and ending up in the Human Realm, everything was a blur until he was truly able to process it all and catch his bearings that same night. He and Camila stayed up late, Castor sharing stories with her over coffee and ensuring her that he’d be there for any difficulties that they’d run into in the time everyone would be there. They formed a close friendship in the months staying with her, never moving past that point but putting quite a bit of trust in each other. It felt nice having someone to lean on when the anxiety of the situation became too much.
Castor kept thinking about the BI. Especially Raeda, fearing that the were gone without ever being able to say a proper goodbye or spend their last minutes with them. But he kept his hopes up that he’d see them again. He never let up in attempting to get the portal working. Despite the little bit of trauma from seeing Hunter get possessed, Castor helped Camila get an understanding of her surroundings, regaling her with even more tales of the wonder that was the Demon Realm. (Everything after this point is pure speculation since they haven’t reunited with Eda and King yet)
Words could not describe how happy he was to see Eda, safe and sound. He couldn’t help but cry as they embraced, having missed her and Raine beyond belief. They even shared a quick dance, completely caught in the moment. Just Eda and her sweet Spellcastor. Let’s let them have this moment for a bit longer. Because Titan knows how it’s gonna be once they find out their precious Rainestorm/Songbird is possessed by Belos.
(I did not mean to go this deep into detail, but my brain would not stop. Oh well)
After Eda’s Requiem: Almost everything above, except Castor held onto his feelings for roughly 30 or so years before finally letting it out before the DOU because he figured if things go south, he’d much rather go out knowing that Eda and Raine knew about it after all this time. He still hears about the Raeda breakup through a crow call from Lilith and ends up in the Human Realm with the kids, the reunion with Eda being a bit awkward, with neither knowing how to go about their feelings during the end of the world. He’s still going to be upset at finding out about Belos/Puppet!Raine.
Like I said, details are subject to change. Enjoy the lore everyone! Hexside TL;DR below.
Hexside TL;DR: The three get together at Hexside, break up years later in young adulthood, spend 15-20 years going about their lives, Castor moves in with Eda a few years after King comes into her life, the three reunite in Eda’s Requiem with Castor admitting he still has feelings, E and C’s hearts break with Raine being “brainwashed”, all three really discuss their feelings 24 hours before the DOU, Castor ends up in the HR with the kids, cries when he reunites with Eda months later (At this point they still don’t know about Belos!Raine).
Now let’s see how everything plays out.
Original poll.
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