#did make everyone howl with me as totality happened

[nikrei]

360 sunset at the eclipse!! Had a v good time, and it was wild the way the temperature dropped when it happened!

[fandomnerd9602]

Cold Outside

StepSister!Wanda x Reader

For @lifespectator and @aloneodi

You and your stepsister Wanda had been up to your own brand of mischief. Ever since your first kiss with her on New Years Eve, it’s like the two of you could not get enough of each other. You always found little excuses to see one another and share kisses where no one could see you. Wanda and you were scared of what your parents would think of such a relationship.

But that didn’t stop you and her from having ‘cram sessions’ over at your apartment. Yes you and her did study for exams and homework. But afterward the two of you would celebrate with pizza, a marathon of her favorite shows and a little make out session. It was the perfect cover.

A perfect cover until it happened.

Your college town was hit with the worst blizzard of the year. Your classes were cancelled but somehow Wanda's were still on.

You tried to keep your apartment warm when you got a call from your stepsister, "detka?"

"what's the matter, Wanda?"

"the heater in my apartment broke. C-Can I come stay over at your place?"

“What about your roommate? yelena?”

“She’s hanging out with Kate. So can you please pick me up, detka?”

"Of course! I'll come pick you up." You grabbed your keys and ran to your car.

The wind was howling and the snow fall nearly blinded your view but yet you persisted on being there when Wanda stepped out from the college commons area.

You pull up outside of the commons and Wanda runs out from under the porch right to your car. The scarlet red scarf you bought her blowing in the wind. She quickly jumps in and blows into her hands, just trying to keep herself warm.

“Hello detka” she smiles at you.

“Hey you” you smile back, “let’s go home.”

It didn’t take long for you and Wanda to get home. You spent the time talking about whatever you wanted as you drove home.

You and Wanda truly enjoy spending whatever time you can together. Little moments here and there.

You turn on your television and switch it to your queue of Dick Van Dyke episodes. Wanda continues to enjoy her freshly brewed tea as you take a seat next to her.

“No better way to rough it through a blizzard, huh?” You give a little smirk to your stepsister.

“What are we?” She asks.

“What do you mean?” You genuinely ask.

“I-I mean…where do you see us?”

You gently take her free hand, “Wanda…there will never be another. You’re it. I’m totally in love with you. I-I want strings with you”

Your thumb glides across her knuckles.

“I want strings with you too” she giggles. “I want to tell everyone about us, but only when you’re ready.”

“When you’re ready,” you reassure her. She stares at you with adoring eyes. Her gazes lowers to your lips and then back to your eyes.

You pull her into your lap. Wanda giggles and leans in, kissing you. Her tongue glides across your lips, you can’t help but allow her access.

“Detka” she whispers against your lips.

You and Wanda continue to share long, loving, passionate kisses on your couch; lost in your own little world. Wanda giggles against your lips. Your hands wander up and down her spine.

So strong was the temptation to reach under her shirt but you truly loved her. You were willing to take things slow and enjoy all the little memories you have to form with the amazing young woman in your arms.

Your little moment of heaven was interrupted by the sound of Wanda’s cell phone. She let out a quick little squeak of embarrassment before rolling off your lap and grabbing her phone. The caller ID on her phone read Papa. You and her went pale white.

Wanda takes a deep breath, wanting to calm the beating of her heart from her moment of ecstasy. She answers the phone, “hello Papa” she puts it in speaker mode.

“Hello my little witch, I just wanted to be sure you were alright.” Your stepfather tries to explain. “That blizzard is something fierce.”

“I’m alright” Wanda giggles, “I’m at Y/N’s. My apartment’s heater went out.”

“Hey Pops” you call out.

“You all okay?” Your stepfather asks back.

“Y-yeah” you try to answer. “I was about to put a pizza in the oven and turn on some Dick Van Dyke.”

“Okay” Django answers back. “According to the weather channel, the blizzard won’t clear up for two days”

You and Wanda look to each other, you can already see the ideas forming in Wanda’s head.

“Think you’ll be alright?” Your stepfather asks.

“Yes Papa,” Wanda answers, “I think we’ll be alright. We’ve got homework and tv and…”

“Okay. Love you both” Django answers before hanging up.

You and your detka look at one another. You can’t help but share a laugh. She collapses against your chest.

“You hungry?” You ask her playfully as you wrap her in a hug.

“Yes. For pizza…and you” she giggles at her own response. You give her one last kiss to her lips and one more to her forehead.

It sure is cold outside but it’s nice and warm in your little apartment. You will have to tell her father and your mother eventually but until then you’re just gonna enjoy your time together. You and the love of your life: Wanda Maximoff.

[handwrittenhello]

FAQ/PLMM ROUNDUP

Will you do another poll with [x]?

Maybe? I totally understand the desire for an unofficial do-over without Vriska, which is the most likely to happen out of all possible options. Please don't ask me to run one just for two characters you want to see go head-to-head, though. Contrary to popular belief, I do use this blog for stuff other than ridiculous polls 😂

I've also been asked to run polls with other themes, like blorbos/

If I do end up running something, it won't be until next week.

I'm really mad that there was suspected botting/interference with Vriska's polls!

Me too, bud. Without being able to see exactly who voted what and when, though, there's no way to prove without a doubt that there was. I believe there was, other people believe there was, some people don't believe there was. That's all fine.

Just don't let this color your enjoyment of the competition or other fans/fandoms. Don't let the minority ruin the reputation of the whole.

How do you know the results/it was a tie/it says the final round was 50/50?

Tumblr doesn't show exact percentages or exact vote counts. Supposedly there's a way with API to show it, but I'm not that tech savvy. The way I made decisions was based off of Tumblr highlighting the winner green after the poll ended.

Various messages of support, saying you had fun, saying you're sorry about botting, etc.:

Thank you! I hope you all had fun as well. And thank you for making this silly contest as popular as you did; I didn't expect this to become SO popular and contentious! To everyone who created fanart/shitposts/meta/etc. about the contest, you're great! I and your meow meow thank you for your service.

If you want to unfollow me now that the PLMM contest is over, bye! Hope you enjoyed :) If you want to stay, I'm mostly a fandom blog, some shitposts here and there. I write and make art too.

Under the cut: the full stats spreadsheet, with some notes.

Fun facts: Harry du Bois ended up with 103,156 total votes across all five rounds, the most out of any character. In second place is Vriska Serket, followed by Howl Jenkins.

The hottest race was the final round. The second-hottest was Harry du Bois vs. Howl Jenkins, and the third-hottest was Prince Zuko vs. Vriska Serket.

I'd have loved to have created a graph plotting the contestants' rise and fall, but frankly, that's way too much work lol. If you happen to do so, tag me!

[zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u]

a BUNCH of Garu/Karu meta, part 2: eyes, Karu-fronting units, In Defense of Sexy Garu/Karu, Leroy & Garu conspiracy, Update to Rei/Gramps theory, general "character development"

So over here I wrote a bunch of Garu/Karu meta zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u.tumblr.com/post/737197419853398016/ and I knew that eventually I'd wanna write more, so here's part 2!

Once again, disclaimer that I have not played every event nor watched every intimacy rooms so I am definitely missing some lore. If anyone has additional info to my questions, lemme know! Also, spoilers everywhere!

A) Blue eyes or yellow eyes?

In a couple comments of phaerlax's fics, he suggested that Karu's eyes are actually blue and I thought I'd follow up with some ~canon~ evidence.

Ch7- every mention of their switching involves language, attitude, and mannerisms, nothing about eye color.

Ch13- Kolt is about to kidnap Garu when Karu takes over. It's very fast and happens all in 1 sentence so there isn't space to mention any eye colors, but Kolt doesn't realize they've switched until Karu has kicked him in the face

Master's Gift- when Karu is pretending to be Garu, Eiden realizes it with the language and voice again, not eyes.

Howling Cyclone- when Garu suddenly takes over with no one around, the text narration only says "the wolf yokai closes and opens his eyes before dashing..." No mention of eye color and this time its from the third person text narration, rather than Eiden or any other character's POV.

Misty Vale- when the young wolves encounter Karu, they don't realize that Garu has switched until Karu announces to call him that. At the very end of the MV event when Garu declines joining the wolves, Eiden pats his head only to realize that its Karu due to his reaction.

Binary Starlight- no mention of eye color, but the modeling people, store owners, and Karu's fans, only refer to him as Karu or Mr Wolf Yokai, including when it's Garu taking Karu's place during the competition announcements.

Desert of Dusk- no one realizes when its Garu and when it's Karu

Some people might have noticed this by now, but Garu's ally units all have blue eyes in their sprites. But when you're actually battling, OG SSR/SR/R/N are all Karu voice lines. HC & EG Garu seem to have more Garu battle voice lines than Karu voice lines. I don't have all of them, so if anyone is willing to help me look into EB and FF Garu, please do! In a cool meta way, the fact that the sprites have blue eyes yet its Karu's voice coming out, indicates to me that Karu's eyes are probably blue.

And lastly- have you noticed Garu's battle loading screen pose, OG loading homepage, Bliss promotional pic with everyone's OG poses + new Dante/Blade/Rei, and Garu's sprite in the opening animated sequence? He's manspreading and has an angry face. Yes, we've seen Garu angry a number of times, but in the new loading homepage with Rei and Dante, Garu is smiling and Garu's angry face is usually still quite cute. I think the OG version is Karu and he has blue eyes there.

B) Karu Fronting Units

Ok so slightly following up from that last bit. I had a idea once, where it would've been cool for Karu to front in the offensive/defensive units, such as strikers and guardians, and Garu to front in the supportive units, such as buffers and healers. Especially since the battle voice lines already do that (see point above). This would be extra cool cause it lines up with their lore/personalities and DID system. Karu is the protector alter, doing a lot of the Dead Zone surviving, and it'd make sense for him to do offensive/defensive battle units.

But also- Binary Starlight Garu should have totally been Karu fronting. Frozen Echoes, while Garu is onscreen more often, is about Karu wanting to sing and then getting kidnapped. But more importantly, the intimacy stories are about Karu's modeling competition. He's also a striker and, as mentioned, I thought it would be cool to have Karu being the strikers.

Endless Banquet Garu probably would have been nice to be a Karu unit because part of it is about Karu wanting to go to the yokai festival, but it was also Garu's 1st event SSR, so it makes sense that he wouldn't be.

So here's to me sending out into the universe that we get a future Karu main event SSR. He's still missing a saboteur and I can see a saboteur going either Garu or Karu.

C) In Defense of Sexy Garu/Karu

People's biggest problem with Garu is usually how young he looks and acts. You are not wrong if you are uncomfortable with Garu/Karu being sexualized! That is totally valid! This section is not for you. This section is for ignorant haters. (Garu/Karu are just fictional characters so I don't think too defensively on this so I won't be offended if you still do.)

First up- Garu/Karu is not a shota. Shotacon is defined as underage/prepubescent/pubescent boys in an erotic/sexualized manner. And yes there are muscle shotas. But Garu is not one of them. Depending on the lore, Garu is 19-33+ (possibly older, see that other post where I calculated his possible age) and he has a young adult proportioned body. However, he has a major babyface and acts puppylike/borderline childlike and does appear younger than the rest of the cast. So it's possible that he's shota-adjacent and I can see why people think he'd be the "1000 year old loli/shota" characters.

Next- puppy play! Have you heard of animal roleplay and specifically leather puppies? Have you met someone whose done puppyplay? Seems an awful lot like Garu right? You'd be right! I'm more of a handler, but a lot (though not all) of the (western) puppy players I know go into a (dumbed down) puppy headspace, act hyper, head scratches, play fetch, bark, treats, and "treats". (Naturally, IA studio is writing from the Asian perspective so the scene might be different there & they probably didn't consult any puppy players anyways, but there's no set "rules".) Sound familiar?

I'm like 99% sure Garu/Karu is supposed to represent puppy play, not shotas. There's a reason the most common imagery of a leather puppy is a pup hood, some kind of gag, collar, chest harness, jockstrap, butt plug tail, and leather boots. Also sound familiar? It's very close to OG SSR and SR Garu, and when the devs gave BS Garu a jockstrap, that sealed the deal. Same with when they made Garu/Karu an omega in the A/B/O event.

Now that we agreed that Garu/Karu is puppy play and not shotacon, one common factor amongst puppyplayers is the sexycute factor. As in, the puppy could be acting cute and affectionate and puppylike while getting fucked. Head scratches while doing a blowjob. And so on. NU Carnival characters fill a variety of sexy roles and while we have 2 other yokai, Garu is the one that fills the puppy play role. He's not a furry, but he's the closest thing for those who are into it. And of course, he (and Kuya) are the token kemonomimi. I'd argue that Garu is actually more human that most puppies I've seen/played with since he is primarily bipedal and talks fully in a human language.

So yeah its fine to sexualize them because of the sexy archetype they fulfill!

D) Leroy and Garu Conspiracy

So this is a wild and possibly impossible conspiracy theory. At the end of Gambler's Paradise, we get a scene between Aster and Rei talking about a mysterious "that group". In ch 13, Rei tells us that Council of Sorcery is trying to replace the need for Huey's essence. Throughout Gambler's Paradise, we find out that Leroy is a recent imperfect familiar that was a result of experiments with Huey's essence. Throughout Misty Vale and Ch 13, we get hints that Garu might have been experimented on by the Council long ago.

So my conspiracy theory is that both Leroy and Garu were experimented on by the same Council of Sorcery, even if they were from different departments. Garu was possibly more than a decade or several decades ago and Leroy was within the past couple months or year cause he didn't start causing chaos in Aster's casinos until recently. This means that either there are different departments focusing on different experiments, but also totally possible that back then, they were experimenting on removing Huey's essence and now they're working on replicating Huey's essence.

Bonus weird similarity between Garu, Leroy, and Morvay- they all really REALLY like eating their choice of preferred food, and get hungry very easily. (Ok Garu technically might be super hungry cause he had very little food for many many years, but still)

HMMMMMM LORE MIC DROP.

E) Update to Rei is Gramps/Garu/Karu backstory

Here I theorized that Rei might be Gramps and other people have theorized or drawn fanart of this too. HOWEVER, Howling Cyclone does have a major problem in that we see Gramp's ghost.

What i propose to fix this: we don't know when ch13 or Eerie Escapade happened and realistically it's probably because Rei wasn't created as a character yet. But I can explain this lore away with saying even if Rei died "long ago", we dont know when he was reborn. And hey, maybe for all we know, the Gramps ghost was actually Father, realizing that even if Garu has Eiden, Karu could use some more support and decided to go revive Rei. :shrug: Or maybe they'll retcon the Howling Cyclone ghost like they retconned Aster's dick.

F) Garu/Karu's ~Character Development~ (not H scene specific)

(Warning for rambling!) So in my post about whether or not Kuya has character development and if it's even necessary, I mentioned that Garu & Karu needed character development. In various replies (but not my post), one comparison I've brought up between Kuya and Garu/Karu(+Zuko) is the difference between slow gradual changes and the heroes journey. And I thought I'd elaborate on that some more.

To clarify on Kuya- he's over 200 years old and has been changing slowly over time since forever. He started the story already having changed over time and will probably not stop going through this kind of slow gradual change, simply due to the fact that time passes and he's immortal. And while Eiden plays a part in present day, overall Kuya is not having major story beats causing massive changes.

The cool thing about Nu Carnival's cast, as evidenced by Kuya, is that everyone is on different points of their ~character development~ and Garu/Karu is starting from their very beginning. Yakumo is also starting from the very beginning. Whereas someone like Dante, Olivine, and Edmond are already somewhere further down the adventure. Or they have a different kind of character development path like Kuya, Rei, and Blade.

Now for Garu/Karu. So the classic heroes journey is a story template where the protagonist gets a call to adventure, meets various character archetypes, endures many trials, and returns changed in some way. Obviously it's not a 1:1 matchup with Garu/Karu's story, but he does get a call to adventure (joining the clan), meets a mentor(the clan members), and is currently still enduring many trials. This is what I mean by he has a big "heroes journey development". And using this pattern, we can predict that Garu/Karu will continue enduring more tests, before encountering a major ordeal, conquering it, returning back a changed man.

Now why is Garu, or more specifically, Karu's character development important or necessary? Much like how Yakumo started out his heroes journey as a "newbie", Garu and especially Karu start out as "newbies", with limited empowerment, not that many skills yet, MANY basic things to learn (and amnesia, or at least Garu has amnesia. Karu is debatable). Karu has big dreams, really big dreams, and while they're played for laughs, he absolutely sucks at those big dreams. He's either going to achieve those big dreams, change those big dreams, or lose his delusions of grandeur and that will be character development. His current stage in life, lack of power (and stamina lol), trauma, and unfortunate circumstances are preventing him from achieving those big dreams. Garu is more chill and mostly just wants to have Fun with his Master and help people where he can (including helping Karu). However, he also lacks power, is a newbie to things, and got that traumaTM that just causes him problems. Garu also kind of represents the coming of age plot- they may have gained basic survival skills in the Dead Zone & had no social skills, but have also started dabbling in learning and leadership in Forgotten Fruit, Eerie Escapade, and Misty Vale. He's slowly becoming braver. They also didn't know how to read before meeting Yakumo & Olivine, but now they can sort of write sentences!

As for their role in the story & how it ties in with character development. He's the cutesy comic relief like Blade or Topper, but also, as mentioned in my Kuya post, that they're a victim of the Gemstone plotTM. SPOILER TERRITORY. One major conflict that the plot is coming against in the main storyline is altars going haywire and the Council of Sorcery and Garu (and possibly Leroy) might be the key to solving this mystery. However, with his amnesia and limited empowerment, they can't really progress with it. Therefore, it is crucial for Garu/Karu to experience ~character development~ to move forward.

If you got this far, thanks for indulging in this longass analysis post on my favorite wolfboys to roll around in thinky thoughts. Possibly more to come as more ~lore~ is revealed.

Once again, I haven't played every event or intimacy room, so if you've got answers to my questions or additional contributions, please lemme know!

[i-will-always-be-happy]

Ler sanemi Lee tanjiro

Sanemi getting revenge for tanjiro headbutting him??

Sanemi: Pray to the gods, because neither Giyuu or Oyakata-sama will save you from this

Warning: This fanfic contains tickles. Also remind them that I don't speak English, so if they find any errors, let me know to correct it. I hope you like it!

Lee: Tanjiro Kamado

Ler: Sanemi Shinazugawa and Nezuko Kamado

'Tanjiro, I'm glad to know that you're out of danger now, I wanted to thank you for helping the corporation defeat the UpperMoon, I really appreciate it' 'E-eh?! No no no! It's the least I can do! Thanks to you, Nezuko and I can stay together and...! Nezuko! Where is it?!', Tanjiro looked around the place, there was no trace of the box

'You don't have to worry, Sanemi, the wind hashira is taking care of her, they should be at his farm. Don't worry, Sanemi is a good and loyal boy, he hasn't hurt her', Tanjiro smiled and after a few minutes, he politely said goodbye and ran away. He was worried, the first time he had stabbed her, what would have happened these days?

'Nezuko!!' 'Mmmm?!', Tanjiro entered the estate, it was totally dark, Shinazugawa had really taken the job of caring for and protecting her seriously. When he arrived, he found Shinazugawa stroking the little demon's head, Tanjiro was confused, had he misjudged Sanemi?

'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU IDIOT?! What right do you have to enter my house like that?!' 'Sorry Shinazugawa-sama! Only, I came looking for Nezuko', Sanemi sighed, the little girl got up and approached her brother, hugging him and putting her hands on his head so that he could caress her and pamper her.

Sanemi closed his eyes, but they snapped open when he heard laughter. 'Nehehezuko! I mihihiss you tohohoho! Ehehehe! Ihihit tihihickles!' 'So, it's ticklish, huh?', a thought went through Sanemi's head, remembering the headbutt Tanjiro gave him at the hashira meeting.

'Hey, demon girl...can I help you?' 'Mhm!' Tanjiro's eyes widened as he saw Shinazugawa get up and walk over laughing and clenching his knuckles.

'Wahahait! Nehehehezuko?! Shinazugahahahawa?!' 'Why are you acting so surprised? It's not going to happen, I mean, you're always here and there saying everyone should smile! Well, your sister and I will do the same, I'll give him a class as an older brother, on how to make our brothers laugh hehehe'

'Look, I recommend that you go first to a place that doesn't make him laugh too much and that you be very kind' 'Mmm!', Nezuko laughed under her bamboo.

'WAHAHAHIT!! MOHOHOVE SOMEHEHEHEWHERE ELSE!!' GEAHAHAAHAHAH!! NEHEHEZUKOHO! HEHEHELP!!' 'Oh, it seems I went straight to the wrong place~, my mistake, but what are we here, let's get the lesson up a bit, shall we?', Sanemi appeared to be gentle, however he was digging with enormous force into the armpits of Tanjiro, making sure not to leave any spot

'Mm!' 'Do you want the lesson to be slow? Very good, well Kamado, it's not my fault, your little sister wants to learn' 'NOHOHOHO!! NEZUKO! DOHOHON'T ENCOURAHAHAHAGE HIHIHIM!! EHEHEHEHE!! NONONONO!!!', despite Shinazugawa trying to be 'gentle', Tanjiro's tingling body was unable to handle it.

Shinazugawa's fingers moved up and down his sides, while Nezuko's did the same on his belly, he didn't know what was worse for him, Sanemi's merciless fingers or Nezuko's small claws.

'NEHEHEZUKO! SHINAZUGAWA-SAN!! HEHEHEY!! NOHOHOT!! PLEHEHEASE!! I'M TOO TIHICKLIHIHIHSH!' 'It must suck to be you, we're barely touching you', well at least Tanjiro recognized it, his body after so many battles had reached a new level of sensitivity. 'GAHAHAHA!! *snorts* DOHOHOHON'T!! *snort* NOHOHOT AGAHAHAHAIN!! PLEHEHEASE!!'

'Hmm!' 'You're right girl, it seems that his armpits and neck are very sensitive', one of Sanemi's hands dug into Tanjiro's armpits while the other gave small touches to his neck. 'Another very important thing, teasing, you've made your brother feel like a little baby... Do you want me to show you?', Tanjiro howled and arched his back, kicking the floor with his feet and hands, he wanted to push them away, he had that necessity, but in another part, his nose told that Sanemi did not have bad intentions, or that was what he appeared to be.

'What's up young Kamado? Can't stand a little tickling?', oh no, anything but that... 'Is the little slayer who headbutted a hashira too ticklish? You're laughing a lot, you must enjoy it, right? Do you like this? Are you a baby who loves tickling? Do you want us to continue? I can't hear you asking us to stop!', Tanjiro blushed so much that his face began to burn, he could never stand someone making fun of him, he was embarrassed.

'PLEASE!! STAHHAHHAHAP!! *hip* ENOHOHOHUGH!! *hip* SORRYYY FOR THE HEADBUTT!! I SWEHEHEHEAR!! FOHOHORGIVE MEHEHEHE!! MEHEHEHERCY!! NEZUKO!! STAHHAHHAHAP HIHIHIM!!', Nezuko didn't need to stop him, Sanemi stopped and smirked, no doubt he had been held back by the little girl next to him, but had they been alone, Tanjiro would have become his tickle toy

Sanemi laughed, seeing the young man who was looking at the ceiling and still giggling, with a hand on his chest as he tried to recover all the air he lost. Nezuko reached over and patted her brother's head, smiling. Well, part of Sanemi's revenge was done.

[lambergeier]

2022 book post FINALLY

this post is six weeks late because, frankly, i was on my honeymoon over new years and its hard to get up the will to type all this shit when everyone has already posted their book lists ages ago!! but also i read a lot of good books last year and wish to gloat, so here we are. italics are rereads, bold are my favorites, asterisks denote not-prose, and reviews are interspersed throughout as i felt like it:

January

No One is Talking About This - Patricia Lockwood (this book made me cry so hard lmao. first part is a sickeningly true-to-life depiction of Being A Blue Check Person and then the second part makes you cry so bad.)

Sorrowland - Rivers Solomon (what the fuck happened to the last third of this book? what shit-ass x-men knock-off did it come from?)

What Soldiers Do: Sex and the American GI in World War II France - Mary Louise Roberts (got on a whole ww2 history kick because, gotta be real, i watched all of band of brothers during winter break 2021-2022 and developed a bug up my ass. pulled this off the shelf at the library on a whim and it was STUNNING. excellently, thoroughly told history of sex, venereal disease, and race among american GIs in normany following the invasion. would read anything roberts now.)

How to Blow Up a Pipeline - Andreas Malm

Hello, Sailor: The hidden history of gay life at sea - Paul Baker and Jo Stanley

Coming Out Under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women in World War II - Allan Berube (another excellent ww2 book, frequently quoted on this site and for good reason. not written by a historian, so incredibly easy and engaging to read, that presents you with just this amazing overview of how modern american queer identity was totally, inextricably shaped by the us military and the experience of being part of it or even just near it lmao)

February

Possession - A.S. Byatt (really really lovely romance that was such a consistent pleasure to read that i got to the end basically unable to remember favorite lines or even scenes i was just like mmmmmmmm. book good.)

Uncanny Valley - Anna Wiener

Howl’s Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones

The Verge: Reformation, Renaissance, and Forty Years that Shook the World - Patrick Wyman (this book sucked ass we gotta stop giving podcasters history books)

Watership Down - Richard Adams (so fucked up. loved this. love that we give this to children to read.)

Dead Collections - Isaac Fellman

March

The Hidden Palace - Helene Wecker (much better than its prequel, imho! resolved many pacing issues but lost no heart!)

The Vanishing Half - Britt Bennet (part of the reason i managed to read so much this year is that i had to drive a lot for work and started putting audiobooks on in the car, having never been an audiobook person before. i listened almost entirely to contemporary litfic this way, a genre i also had not previously engage with, and this was both a fascinating entry into an entire other world of books and also kinda boring sometimes lmao. vanishing half was good, certainly better than some of the other stuff i ended up listening to, but still not something i would have finished if i weren't in the car)

The Reformation - Patrick Collinson (this bitch was so funny his preface to the book was 'i didn't list any sources because i've been teaching this topic for 60 years. the source is Me.' anyways almost totally unreadable but did provide me some good context on the counter-reformation, which i want to learn more about.)

Fleischman is in Trouble - Taffy Brodesser-Akner

Home Baked - Alia Volz (soooooo good all bay area homies please read this)

River of Stars - Vanessa Hua

April

Light from Uncommon Stars - Ryka Aoki (INSANE BOOK. SO FUN.)

*Death of a Salesman - Arthur Miller

Book of Dust - Phillip Pullman

Gold Diggers - Sanjena Sathian

*Angels in America - Tony Kushner (disconnected me from reality for like 24 straight hours. scared to reread it.)

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (read this in high school and hated it because i was a DUMB TEENAGER!! THIS BOOK IS SO FUNNY!!)

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett

Fifth Elephant - Terry Pratchett

May

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia (strongly eh.)

Oh the Glory of it All - Sean Wilsey (loved it but feels impossible to recommend.)

Magic for Liars - Sarah Gailey

Foundation - Isaac Asimov (absolutely fascinating as like, a history of the genre thing, even if i only "enjoyed" reading the first two or three stories lol. also, HE COULDN'T PREDICT FIAT CURRENCY?? ACTUAL PLOT POINT THAT THERE AREN'T ENOUGH METALS ON THE PLANET TO MINT COINS???? reader i lost my mind.)

June

All the Pretty Horses - Cormac McCarthy (all the pretty horses my insane high school problematic fave. i will never read the sequels)

Have His Carcase - Dorothy L. Sayers

The Power - Naomi Alderman (as i said on private twitter after rereading, this book makes me sick to my stomach not because of the gender shit, which is like, i know what the book's about that's what it's about it's not gonna be a different book, but christ it's so bleak. love an oral history style but i gave my copy away once i finished lmao.)

Murder Must Advertise - Dorothy L. Sayers

July

Such a Fun Age - Kiley Reid (great audiobook narrator, and a very funny book)

Several People are Typing - Calvin Kasulke (PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS AUDIOBOOK THEY HIRED A FULL RADIO-PLAY STYLE CAST AND SURE THE ACTUAL STORY DOESN'T STICK THE LANDING BUT IT'S SO FUNNY. i finished it on my own and immediately put it back on for emma to enjoy. so good.)

They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South - Stephanie Jones-Rogers

Hawk Mountain - Conner Habib (oughhhhouguhughuhghh the dread. great book. wretched creeping horror. queer, if that matters. gives you the Dread.)

There, There - Tommy Orange

August

If an Egyptian Can’t Speak English - Noor Naga (experimental fiction, i listened to it on audiobook and actually missed a lot of what it was doing in print but still incredibly good. absolute sucker punch of an ending.)

The Loneliest Americans - Jay Caspian King

Encounters at the Heart of the World: A History of the Mandan People - Elizabeth Fenn (great clear thorough history of the mandan nation of the upper missouri river, really enjoyed this.)

An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us - Ed Yong (ed yong is the best science writer working today and this book was tremendous. i quoted like every other line of it to emma and she still went and borrowed it as soon as i was done. we immediately bought a copy for the house.)

Sheer Misery: Soldiers in Battle in WWII - Mary Louise Roberts

September

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse (damn so much modern sff is bad)

I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life - Ed Yong (not as good as the animal book but still VERY good)

Dark Rise - C.S. Pacat (unfuckingreadable. a masterclass of incoherent bullshit)

Nona the Ninth - taz lol (this should not have been its own book.)

*Ducks - Kate Beaton (cannot recommend highly enough. intense subject matter, also made me cry many times, but holy shit ms beaton you killed it with this one)

Unreleased Friend Book that I Love So Bad (soon!!)

Normal People - Sally Rooney

October

Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (another book i haven't reread since high school holden ilu. you are my little problems boy)

Pachinko - Min Jin Lee (read it all in one day while on various airplanes. what a BOOK)

Half of a Yellow Sun - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Foundation - Mercedes Lackey (thus begins the valdemar stage of the year)

My Year of Rest and Relaxation - Ottessa Moshfegh (uh. would not recommend.)

November

Devil House - John Darnielle (ur crazy for this one mr mountain goats. still don't know if it was good or bad lol.)

Arrows of the Queen - Mercedes Lackey

Arrows Flight - Mercedes Lackey

Arrows Fall - Mercedes Lackey

Magic’s Pawn - Mercedes Lackey (vanyel i love you)

December

Magic’s Promise - Mercedes Lackey (vanyel i'm obsessed with you)

Empire of Wild - Cherie Dimaline

Magic’s Price - Mercedes Lackey (oh misty we did NOT stick the landing here. rip to vanyel.)

Winter Counts - David Heska Wanbli Weiden

Neuromancer - William Gibson (loved so many individual sentences and, like foundation, a very interesting work for understanding the history of the genre. however in many ways, totally incomprehensible.)

total books: 66!!! nice work, me! really enjoyed how much i read in 2022 and how generally varied it was and after a long while of not reading too much at all, it's been very nice being back in the swing of it. also god non-fiction is so good. i can't read it particularly fast but every time i read a good one i enjoy it so immensely. look forward to reading more of it this year!!!

AND, FINALLY, A SHOUT OUT TO THE WORST DNF OF 2022:

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab sucks shit.

[mydarllinglover]

Alone || Split up

Previous

When they had got back to the church, they pushed the trolleys up the stairs and into the place.

Abraham was under the bus, fixing it up whilst Rosita helped him.

Sully ran towards Natalia, barking as his tail wagged, but he halted when he sniffed her, walking in a circle as he ran his nose along her legs, trying to work out what it was.

"What the hell happened to you?" Carol asked, looking down at her from the steps, Daryl was smoking, as he leaned against the railing.

"Oh, y'know, just a leisurely swim in walker infested water, that has been brewing for god knows how long, heh, get it, god knows." She pointed at the church. "Anyway, I got a cool jacket." Natalia shrugged, "I'm going to be fishing walker goop out of crevices for a week, and almost got killed cause of a priest, all in a days work."

"What?" Daryl asked, talking to her for the first time in a while, looking around for Gabriel.

"Got scared, shoved me out of his way as he tried to flee, totally bombed it though."

"Did you get hurt?" Carol asked, Daryl was still scanning the brunette, like he was trying to find any injuries.

"Nope, no bites, no scratches, all good."

"Are you sure?" She pressed.

"Yes, you want me to strip so you can check?" Natalia huffed, walking past the pair and heading into the church, Sully walked beside her. "I'm offended people ask me that so often, I can handle myself."

"It's okay to accept the fact that people love and care about you." Carol called after her.

Later that night, when the sun had set, The group sat around the church, enjoying their first proper meal together in a long time, chatting and laughing, enjoying each others company, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time.

Glenn and Tara had formed a game of how high can Sully catch, where they would take in turns throwing a piece of food into the air and see the furthest he could catch it from, the people around them found this pretty amusing, pitying the dog by giving him a spoonful from their own plate, he was definitely enjoying the buffet.

"I'd like to propose a toast." Abraham gathered the rooms attention, standing at the front of the room with a glass of wine in hand.

Michonne and Natalia took their seats beside each other as everyone went quiet, waiting to see what the man had to say.

"I look around this room and I see survivors." He started. "Each and everyone of you has earned that title. To the survivors."

"Survivors! Cheers!" Everyone chanted, raising their glasses.

"Is that all you want to be?" Abraham continued, Natalia knew where this was going, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip. Eugene, what's in DC?"

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics. Even of this Fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart."

"However this plays out, however long it takes for this restart button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it so you can take your dog on walks without fear of it ending up something's dinner. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there... who don't got nothing left to do except survive."

Judith began to make noises, as she sat on her fathers lap.

"What was that?" Rick asked her as people laughed. "I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in. Let's do it."

Everyone cheered and clapped for the plan, Sully let out a howl, joining in on the noise, Tara copied the dog, letting out her own howl.

After a while, people gradually went outside, getting some fresh air.

"Has anyone who's gone outside come back yet?" Natalia asked Rick, looking around.

"Sasha went out to look for Bob, said he'd been out for a while." Tyreese weighed in.

"Carol and Daryl's been gone for a while, too." Natalia hummed.

"Alright, me and Tyreese will go look for them, everyone stay here, I don't want anyone else disappearing." Rick said, standing up.

"I'll help." Natalia offered, going to stand up, but Rick stopped her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No, I need you here, to keep an eye on Gabriel, he does anything, I know you can handle it, we'll find them." He assured her.

"But-"

"Natalia, I need you in here." He repeated.

"Fine, take Sully, he'll be able to sniff them out from anywhere, especially Daryl." She mused, knowing full well how much fond the dog and man were of each other, even if Daryl didn't express it, but she could tell by the way he kept Sully's rabbit in his back pocket If the dog had forgotten it, or dropped it when something else caught his attention.

"We'll take care of him." Rick nodded.

"I know you will." She offered a small smile.

Natalia was sat in a pew, her eyes never left the father, watching his every move, her gun in her hand, resting in her lap.

The other people went about doing their own thing, waiting for the arrival of their family to return.

The doors opened with loud creaks, Tyreese, Rick and Sully returned with Sasha, but no Bob, Daryl or Carol.

Sasha walked towards Father Gabriel.

"Stop." She told the man in a hushed voice.

He stared at her, pausing the motion of pouring himself another glass of wine.

"What are you doing?" She asked. "What are you doing?" She repeated, much more slower, when he had yet to answer. "This is all connected. You show up, we're being watched, and now three of us are gone."

"I..." He started. "I don't... I don't have anything to do with this."

Sasha pulled out her knife, walking towards the man as he backed up.

"Wait!"

"Don't!" Rosita ordered, lunging forward, but Abraham grabbed a hold of her.

"Sasha, put it away." Tyreese told his younger sister.

"Who's out there?" Sasha asked, ignoring the other people in the room.

"I... I don't have anything to do with this." Gabriel put his hands up in surrender.

"Where are our people?"

"I don't have anything to..."

"Where are our people?" Sasha screamed at him.

"Please, I don't have anything to do with this."

Rick pulled Sasha back, taking her place.

"Why'd you bring us here?" He asked.

"I... I... please." Gabriel stuttered.

"Are you working with someone?"

"I'm alone. I'm alone. I was always alone."

"What about the woman in the food bank, Gabriel?" Rick pushed forward. "What did you do to her? "You'll burn for this." That was for you. Why? What are you going to burn for, Gabriel?"

Gabriel had yet to answer him, ticking the man off even more.

Rick grabbed him by the collar, pushing him against the table full of candles.

"What? What did you do?" He shouted, his jaw clenched. "What did you do?" He pushed the man away, taking a step back.

"I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night." He repeated, breaking down. "I always- They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were- They were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe. And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see... it was my choice. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the sidings, screaming at me. And so the dead came for them. Women... children. Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy. Begging me for mercy. Damning me to Hell." He sobbed. "I buried their bones. I buried it all. The lord sent you here to finally punish me." He collapsed to the ground as he continued to cry.

Natalia was feeling more angry by the second, he was the sole reason that countless of families had suffered brutally, because he couldn't be bothered to help them, to offer shelter, and he was feeling sorry for himself?

"I'm damned. I was damned before. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors."

A whistle sounded outside the church, Sully began barking and howling at the door, Natalia headed towards him, pulling the dog away as Glenn headed for the window.

"There's something... There's someone outside lying in the grass."

Sasha had ran for the door.

"Sasha." Rick followed.

The others chased after them, running outside.

"Oh! Bob!" Sasha shouted, as everyone set their sights on the passed out Bob.

Two walkers were heading for them.

"His leg." Maggie looked in horror, Bob's left leg was missing.

"Get Bob inside. We'll take care of them." Glenn ordered, him heading for the first walker as Natalia ran to the other, her knife pushing into it's eye.

"Can you help me, please? Help me. Help me." Sasha sobbed to Tara, trying to pick her boyfriend up.

"Get inside! Go!"

More walkers were appearing, Rick had started shooting at them as Natalia and Glenn ran back to help everyone with Bob.

"Rick!" Natalia called out, staring at the big red A that was painted on their wall.

"Let's go." He told her, pushing the small woman in the building and locking the door.

Everyone gathered around Bob, he had managed to wake up.

"I was in the graveyard. Somebody knocked me out." He told, once he was able to. I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth. And five other ones."

Natalia looked at Rick, they were the ones who demanded to finish it off.

"They were eating my leg, right in front of me. Like it was nothing. All proud like they had it all figured out."

"Did they have Daryl and Carol?" Rick asked in a gentle tone.

"Gareth said they drove off."

"What?" Natalia hissed. Why the hell would they drive off? Unless... that black car.

Bob tried to sit up, groaning in agony.

"He's in pain. Do we have anything?" Sasha asked Rosita.

"I think we have a few pill packets in the first aid kit." Rosita said, getting up to fetch them.

"Yeah." Sasha nodded at her.

"Save 'em." Bob called towards her.

"No."

"Really." Bob sniffled as he sat up, pulling his T-shirt down to reveal a tear of flesh.

Bob was bitten.

"It happened at the food bank." He told Sasha, who stared wide eyed at it.

"It's okay." She whispered, helping him lay back down.

"Bob?" Sasha asked, when he fell. Tara caught his head, so he didn't hit it on the floor.

"There's a sofa in my office." Gabriel offered. "I know its not much, but..."

"Thank you."

"I got him." Tyreese stood up, helping Bob into the office.

Rick and Natalia moved towards the father, seeming to have the same thought.

"Do you know the place Bob was talking about?" Rick beat her to it.

"It's an elementary school. It's close."

"How close." Natalia asked, before he even finished the word.

He hesitated.

"How close?" Rick pushed.

"It's just a 10-minute walk through the woods from here, due south of the graveyard."

Judith started to cry, so Carl carried her into the other room, in her basket.

"Does he have a fever?" Rick asked Maggie.

"He's just warm."

"Jim lasted more than two days before we left him." Glenn remembered.

"Time for a reality check." Abraham called out. "We all need to leave for DC right now."

"No way! Not when Daryl and Carol are missing." Natalia snapped.

"They're gonna be back." Rick agreed. "We're not going anywhere without them."

"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here, to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways."

"Well, bye!" Natalia waved at the large man.

"You leaving on foot?" Rick asked his retreating back.

"We fixed that damn bus ourselves." Abraham turned around.

"There are a lot more of us." Rick marched towards him.

"You want to keep it that way? You should come."

"Carol saved your life. We saved your life."

"Well, I am trying to save yours! Save everyone's."

"We're not going anywhere without our people."

"Your people took off."

"They're coming back."

"To what, picked-over bones?"

"You're not taking-" Rick reached for the man.

"Do not lay your hands!" Abraham grabbed him.

Natalia took her gun off safety whilst Glenn ran over to intervene.

"Abraham!" Rosita shouted.

"Hey, hey, stop! Now!" Glenn came in the middle of the pair, creating distance. "Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now, in the middle of the night?" Glenn asked Abraham.

"Yeah." Abraham nodded. "Yeah."

"What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together." Glenn expressed.

"I have an idea." Tara stepped forward. "If you stay here just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what." Abraham seemed to think this over, when she turned to Maggie. "Okay?"

"Glenn and Maggie, too."

"No." Rick declined.

"Good luck, then. I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita, grab your gear."

"Abraham."

"Now." He ordered. "Eugene, let's go. Eugene. Move it."

"I don't want to." Eugene stayed seated.

"Now." Abraham growled.

"Okay." The scientist whispered, getting up from the pew.

The three moved towards the door.

"You're not taking the bus." Rick told him.

"Try to stop me." He responded.

Rick waited a moment, before walking towards the redhead, who passed his gun to Rosita.

"Hey, wait, wait wait, wait, wait, wait!" Glenn ran forward, breaking them up again. "Hey, hey, hey!"

He looked between the pair before speaking again.

"You stay. You stay and help us, and we will go with you."

"No." Rick refused.

"It's not your call." He looked back to Abraham. "You stay, help us."

"Half a day." Abraham bargained. "Come high noon, we're taillights. I'm not waiting for the other damn shoe to drop."

"And we will leave with you." Maggie spoke up.

"12 hours." He declared. "Then we go." He walked towards the first pew, narrowly missing barging into Rick.

The group gathered around, as Rick hatched out the plan of action to put an end to Terminus as they loaded up guns and got ready for the fight.

"We're in here and they could be anywhere." Rick said. "But we know exactly where they are."

"Plans got stones, I'll give you that." Abraham said.

"Make our move before they do." Glenn nodded.

"That's right." Rick nodded. "They're not counting on us thinking straight"

"But what if that's their idea." Natalia thought out loud. "Draw us out to their spot and leave our vulnerable unprotected, give themselves leverage, just like how they used Carl at the train carts."

"Then we make sure we get to them first, before they get the chance." Rick said. "Tyreese."

"Yeah?"

"You up for this?" Rick asked the man, who looked to be somewhere else.

He didn't answer, their attention moved towards Sasha, who had walked out of the office.

"I'm going with you." She declared.

"You should stay with Bob." Tyreese told her.

"No, I want to be out there. I want to be apart of this."

She didn't give anyone a chance to argue, walking back into the office.

Tyreese went after her.

The group carried on, whilst the siblings spoke in the office.

Rick had took on what Natalia had suggested, Carl, Judith, Gabriel, Rosita, Eugene and Tyreese sat in the office with Bob's passed out body, Sully paced around the room, missing his owner and sensing that something was happening.

If the cannibals were to turn up, they would be ready to deal with them.

The remaining members of the group vacated the church, heading into the woods and towards the elementary school.

When they had got there, the place was empty, no one in sight, a fire was put out recently.

"I knew it!" Natalia hissed.

"Go, lets go!" Rick ordered, and they all ran back towards the church.

They had got back quickly.

Before she was given a chance to get turned down by Rick, Natalia sneaked up the steps and into the open doors, the rest were on her tail, making sure they were deadly silent.

"Are we done?" A man with a hood up asked, he was stood behind Gareth.

"We'll hit the hinges." Gareth said lowly, gesturing for the two people who were stood outside the office to do exactly that.

Before they were given the chance, Natalia shot down the man, than the woman at the door to their people.

"Put your guns on the floor." Rick had walked further into the church, the end of the building looked pitch black to the enemies, not a person was in sight.

"Rick, we'll fire into that office. So you lower your gun..." Gareth pointed at the door.

Rick took aim, shooting the mans two fingers straight off as he screamed in agony.

"Not nice when someone takes your body parts off, is it?" Natalia pouted, staying in the shadow, her gun aimed at the next potential threat.

"Ah!" Gareth whimpered, keeling over.

"Put your guns on the floor and kneel." Rick repeated, walking forwards.

"Do what he says." Gareth groaned.

Natalia put her gun away, taking out her knife as Terminus followed the order.

"Martin there's no choice here." Gareth told the only person who wasn't kneeling.

"Yeah, there is." Martin disagreed.

Abraham stepped towards him, his gun pointed at the mans head.

"Wanna bet?"

He threw his gun down, kneeling.

The group stood in front of the surrendering cannibals, Sasha and Rick had boxed Gareth in as he moved around on the floor, looking at Rick.

"No point in begging, right?" He asked.

"No." Rick breathed.

"Still, you could of killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that."

"We didn't want to waste the bullets." Rick shrugged.

"We used to help people. We saved people. Things changed, they came in and After that I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry. You don't have to do this. We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you."

But you'll cross someone's path." Rick said. "You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise." Rick pulled out his red handled machete, slashing it into the man's head.

This was the signal, to attack the other terminus members.

Michonne, Sasha, Natalia and Abraham attacked them brutally as the others watched in horror.

Natalia slit one of the men's throat, blood spraying around as she kneed him in the face, letting him fall on his back as he choked on his blood, before ending his misery and stomping hard on his skull, smashing it into brain matter and goop.

The room was silent when they had dealt with every single one, blood, stained the floor of the church pooling on the wood and the carpet, as mangled bodies layed across it.

Michonne had found something among the Terminus's stuff, pulling it out, to reveal her missing sword.

"It could have been us." Rick told the group.

"They gave us a reason, we were just food to them." Natalia agreed, wiping her knife on the dead bodies shirt. "This was self defence."

"Yeah." Sasha whispered, her voice shaking as she took in what she had just done.

Gabriel stared in horror at what had happened in his holy sanctuary, Rick, Natalia, Abraham and Sasha passed him, walking into the office to check on their loved ones.

"This is the Lords house." Gabriel uttered.

"No." Maggie denied. "It's just four walls and a roof."

The sun had rose, and Bob was losing the battle against the fever, everyone gathered around the office to say their final goodbyes.

"You'll always be with us." Maggie told the man. "Part of us." She kissed his hand, smiling at him reassuringly.

"And, if It clears your conscience, I forgive you for the time you went to shoot me." Natalia teased, as they both laughed, smiling at each other.

"I'm glad I didn't." He told her.

The group went to leave the man in peace, Sasha moving towards him.

"Rick." Bob called out to their leader.

Natalia took Judith off his hands, so he could talk to Bob.

"Come here, Judy." Natalia cooed, walking outside the room, Carl beside her.

She sat on the pew, Judith on her lap, and Carl next to her, petting Sully, Judith reached out for the dog, grabbing at his ears.

Natalia wondered if he was reminded of someone else, the same person she was thinking off as she watched the baby interact with the dog, who was gentle and patient as anything, making the little girl giggle as he licked at her hands, that Natalia made sure went nowhere near her face before being cleaned.

"He's good with kids." Carl said.

"He's good with everyone." Natalia smiled. "I got really lucky with him."

"Do you think Daryl and Carols gonna come back?"

"Of course they will, something probably just came up and they had to deal with it, they wouldn't leave us." She tried to reassure him.

Soon enough, noon had come.

Sasha sat by Bob's grave, wearing his jacket as she made sure the cross was tied securely.

Abraham was bidding Rick, Michonne and Natalia goodbye.

"This is our route to DC." He said, handing Rick a map. "We'll stick to it as long as we're able. If not, well, you got our destination. Once Eugene gets to the big brains left up there, things are gonna bounce back. This group should be there for it. You should be there for it."

"They will be." Maggie assured.

"We will." Michonne nodded.

"We will." Rick repeated.

"I guess we will." Natalia joined in.

Abraham nodded, turning around and back to the bus.

"Let's go."

"You both better be safe, save the world for all of us." Natalia told Glenn and Maggie, hugging both of them.

"You better make sure everyone here is alright." Glenn told her, patting her back and stepping away, patting Sully's head.

"Keep her out of trouble." Maggie told the dog, patting his head as well as he let out a woof of agreement.

The DC group got into the bus, as the others stood on the steps of the church.

Rick and Abraham shared another nod before the redhead closed the doors of the bus, setting off on their journey.

At night, Natalia sat on the front steps of the church, keeping lookout, but also wanting to keep an eye out for Carol and Daryl, they still hadn't come back, she missed them both, and was driving herself mad, coming up with loads of different scenarios of what could of happened, if it wasn't for the fact that she had no idea where they could be, she would be out looking for them, she knew that she was being harsh and cold towards the pair, especially with Daryl, but she didn't know how to act around him, after what happened, they were equally mad at each other, how they handled the claimers, and they weren't given a chance to hash it out, but he had made it obvious that he still cared and worried about her, she just couldn't deal with it, when everything was still so fresh, and she could feel the lingering weight, the bruises and cuts on her face still stung, her back was itching as the graze was scabbing over, it was too much, she felt she was suffocating but she didn't have the time to cry for herself, to reflect on the events, Natalia had to push through, put her energy into protecting her friends.

Michonne had come outside, sitting beside her friend, her sword in her lap. Neither woman had to say anything, just sat in each others company as they battled their own thoughts.

Longer into the night, the door opened, Father Gabriel stepped out.

"I can't sleep." He announced, leaning against the wooden rail. "And now, sitting in there... Quiet."

Natalia, nor Michonne answered him.

"It isn't just what happened last night. Saying what happened before out loud, I see it all again. I hear them."

"Yeah." Michonne whispered. "That won't stop."

"But it'll get quieter." Natalia added.

"And it won't be all the time."

A rustling sound cut the conversation.

Natalia jumped up, grabbing her knife, as Michonne slowly followed, signalling to Gabriel to be quiet, who went back inside.

Natalia moved towards the sound, Michonne was right behind her, unsheathing her sword.

They walked towards the trees, where the sound had come from, but not being able to see anything.

Something was emerging from the leaves, coming towards them.

It was Daryl.

Natalia stepped towards him, hitting his chest before wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, as he put his arm around her middle, as Michonne laughed, breathing in a sigh of relief.

"Where the hell were you? Where's Carol?" She asked, looking behind him, but not seeing the woman.

Daryl stepped back from Natalia, looking over his shoulder.

"Come on out." He said.

Next

[sugar-omi]

Hi this is the anon who sent that video for teacher!MC

https://youtube.com/shorts/kjekPGxvHxM?si=dk9FxZ3o3j2PxKyr

I found the video!!! praying the link works or that it doesn't get deleted again. 🙏

If you don't remember. My last ask was about what would happen if tecaher!MC did this for the boys.

*link (its a guy proposing to the teacher in front of her students)

OMG THATS SO CUTEEE THATS ACTUALLY SMTH THE KIDS WOULD RMBR YK THAT THATS SO COOL

i can totally see derek proposing to teacher!mc like this and it'd be so cuteee

or w cove!! teacher!mc proposing to cove in front of their students and cove's eyes progressively getting wider OR OMFG MC HAVING THEIR STUDENTS STAND IN A LINE THAT SAYS 'WILL YOU MARRY ME' AND SOME LETTERS ARENT IN THE RIGHT SPORT BUT AHHH COVE IS IN TEARS

and maybe baxter proposing just like this as well, or you're doing an assignment in class about what your future looks like and you ask him to join you that day and you both do one...

n baxter shows you his first n its you two all happy together, OR MAYBE YOU'RE SHOWING EVERYONES ON THE PROJECTOR... pls my brain is buzzing

but anyway then he sees yours n its you proposing to him n he laughs n blushes n looks at you, and when you pull our the ring he jaw DROPS and your students aree howling and it takes a minute to speak bc you have a little smth to say and he's still in shock, tryna make sure this is real.

but he covers his face n his shoulderes are shaking w laughter n tears and he accepts asjkdf PLEASE THIS IS TOO CUTE

[a-wolf-at-the-door]

Hey so not an ask but I just had to rant. I had a day off so I figured I would binge the howling series, And by God I am having to sit with the weight of it. It was depressing it was joyful there were times I literally screamed. I didn't know I could cheer out at snort but okay! Like it felt more of a psychologically driven epic than a fanfiction. Sometimes I forget why I don't watch TV or movies that much this is why you can't get this much of a character driven story as much as TV and movies are great.

Like Martha's moments with her family and how she feels so much in the shadow of her siblings. How kind of wishes for everyone's approval but doesn't need it! The scene at 42 genuinely hits some nerves when they were in the space pod.

And oh God the doctor as he's slowly to deteriorates through the book, but you get it If you read book one and book two. He spent literal lives fighting his love. just to lose her at the last second, And how even though he wants to live with her memory He's just tired. In every possible way, And how unfairly he's kind of putting so much pressure on Martha. But again you get it!

Just in a sick twisted way the master kind of a character piece, how he is everyone's toxic relationship whether that's platonic or romantic or domestic. He's just a slimy being! Who totally gets what he deserves so glad that Lucy comes in clutch, And just like everyone else I forgot that she was a thing! And I watch the show! I should know everything that happens!

Ugh, a part of me is kind of upset that I didn't wait for season 4 (book 4 whatever you want to call it I'm just calling it seasons now because this is better than the TV show). To binge the whole thing, And I'm kind of on the fence and if I'm going to keep up with season 4 or just binge it like I did with this one.

But by God if you could give a standing ovation over a screen I would. Amazing work. Beautiful time spent. And by God Rose just needs to come back and fix this man!

pal you legit just made me tear up... i'm going through a rough patch lifewise rn that i don't particularly feel a need to elaborate on publicly, but suffice to say it's been too easy for my brain gremlins to focus on negativity (guilt for not updating sooner, shame for struggling so much with this section when it's by rights the one i started writing this series for in the first place, embarrassment at the lil mistakes or perceived shortcomings in the work, etc.)... so it's super meaningful and gratifying to hear how much you and others love this work and believe in me and want more :)

i've also been doing a reread to try to get myself back into the writing of it and remember what I was doing with various plot threads (i have notes but like, i also have adhd... so they aren't all notes that make 100% sense to read back through lol)

i'm doing my best to fight off the brain gremlins and life gremlins and find the fun again, and i really do hope to get more content to you all soon! in the meantime thanks so much for your ongoing support and engagement and i hope very nice things happen to you

[anthonybialy]

Lunatic Moon Puts on an Eclipsing Show

The eclipse almost got eclipsed.  Lousy jerk clouds were so jealous of the attention whore Moon blocking the Sun that they tried to ruin the view.  But Jersey Shore-style drama was ultimately not imported from a place outside the totality.  The Moon was free to moon us.

Aspiring lookers worried a once-in-a-lifetime event would be even one fewer than that.  Missing the lack of sunshine would’ve been a twist during the soft reboot of an emblematically bleak tale.   Circumstances seemed eerily similar to 

that deflating Ray Bradbury short story everyone has a traumatic memory of reading about the cruel class locking the girl in the closet so she misses the rare Venusian sunshine.  But the happy ending we’re told never happens appeared out of nowhere.

I traveled all the way outside to be in the route.  My greatest worry was whether I thawed enough Pizza Logs for every guest.  We always try to be hospitable in Buffalo.  I noticed how many out-of-state license plates partially concealed bumpers in the days leading up to the solar system show.  Adventurous travelers took a chance on meteorological fate with a trip to the Queen City of Good Neighbors.  The prospect of never getting a gift from the cosmos beat definitely not seeing it in some crescent-cursed state.

The skies weren’t blotted by a blizzard, so we dodged the worst-case scenario.  I’d like to point out howling snow is an April rarity.  Still, Buffalo residents braced to be disappointed by something other than teams or taxes.  As for the shamefully high latter, politicians are so certain they know how to spend better than people who earn money that they take a cut just to prevent frivolous purchases.  Take eclipse supplies.  Many sites offered “free” glasses that taxpayers would’ve just bought with their own money if left to their unfettered devices.  Visitors wondered why there was ample elbow room around commercial zones.

Existing area establishments celebrated the spacey occurrence by not selling anything.  Everything closed while the skies opened.  My indispensible neighborhood liquor store shuttered while the Moon was drunk, which means those who wanted to get eclipsed had to plan ahead.  And even Tim Hortons took a rare break from brewing so workers could look wide-eyed through filters.  How did eclipse viewers stay jittery?  I hope meth dealers were shrewd enough to stay open.

Precautions against never seeing again seemed to work.  Concerns about going blinfndsxvnjds wrrrervfwe ,a,,h/nxxc.  My helper monkey has kindly stepped in to type dictations until my eyes stop feeling like I doused them with lava.  Anthony is an idiot.

I’m trying to remember the astronomical facts I crammed over the past week, but I fret they’ll vanish from my memory like safety warnings for watchers.  In my defense, it was tough to retain endless tips for ensuring spectators weren’t seeing the last thing they ever would.

Some alerts sounded like newsrooms sponsored contests to determine who could make the daftest admonition seem plausible.  Most notably, owners of fancy wireless pocket phones were advised to not point the cameras where they were looking or the implements could go blind, too.  You could make up any claim you’d like about where to aim eyes and get nervous participants to heed it.  I’m pretty sure you couldn’t glance at a waxed car unless you wanted your eyeballs to melt. You won’t see them.

I tried to be as prepared as I was enthusiastic.  It was as a good day for donning NASA socks as any this lifetime.  To complement my festive wardrobe in practical terms, I made eclipse viewer from a cereal box just like Mrs. Benfanti taught me in third grade before a previous Moon-based incident.  Interstellar experts recommend eating the Cheerios first.

A fun throwback of seeking entertainment by looking outside reminded us what it was like not to be glued to glowing pocket screens.  The heavens should always be this entertaining.  Keep staring outside for as long as it’s compelling.  Your DVR retained its content unless lunar rays disrupted recording that episode of The Office.  Creed doesn’t get fired on Halloween, so don’t worry.  Television is probably crisper than the sky appeared but not as magical.

I spent most of Monday afternoon seeing the eclipse, sort of.  The worst possible hours for overcast conditions seemed to embody the way things go on this rather uncooperative planet.  I coped by planning to check out the spectacle next century presuming the weather obeys.

An eclipse where you can’t see the Sun for different reasons than advertised seemed like a lesson.  The worst part of cloudy weather during the eclipse was my lack of surprise.  The hometown of Rick James, Vincent Gallo, and me often seems like the place where fate disappoints.

Not being allowed to look presented little problem.  A cruelly overcast day meant seeing some sort of blur through the real-life 3D glasses.  Everyone was failing the eye test.  Light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t provide much hope when it’s so splotchy.

But a transformation as amazing as queuing celestial objects redeemed what felt like a pending letdown.  My journalism degree didn’t allow me to determine whether the totality overwhelmed puny clouds in its path or if they parted out of karmic mercy.  Either way, the darkness led to lucidity.

The cosmic ballet compensated for tardiness.  Blazing plasma surrounded the perfect black circle.  For four glorious minutes or so, the fiery halo was the only clue that the Sun was still around.  The only way the sudden penumbra coda could have been more satisfying was if it seemed like the advertised event wouldn’t be visible, so thank existence’s scriptwriters.  You worried it was going to be cloudy for the whole eclipse, but the skies cleared at just the right time.  Buffalo teaches about the universe.

Monday featured quite a night in the afternoon.  We shared an incredible moment of all looking at the same alignment alongside.  The eclipse offered a chance for people of all kinds to get together for gazing and realize we hate each other.  Now, we share both animosity and liking that disappearing sunlight trick that one satellite pulled.

[notjustanyannie]

I keep seeing pictures of the recent eclipse and feeling kinda unimpressed with the feelings they give. If that was all I knew, I wouldn’t be very motivated to experience it irl. My experience with it irl was so different, I want to share it with you. We drove a couple of hours to see the one in 2017(? I think), and experiencing it was so moving. There is going to be another one coming up next spring, and I want to encourage everyone that can to actually go outside for it. Maybe just the totality part if you can’t stay out longer. As the sun starts slowly going black, it gets dark outside and a breeze picks up. The sky is a weird color that you never see, and it feels ominous. Everything wild stops making any sound. You get a chill in your spine that feels like ancient memories. It’s so quiet it’s eerie, as everything holds it’s breath, then as the moon moves into place directly in front of the sun, people across the county started howling and screaming and cheering and the tree shadows all show the eclipse and there is a feel of magic in the air, and you feel the hair on your body stand up. You can see plasma streaming into the air around the edges of the moon 🌚 It was one of the most magical moments, like it felt like there was wizardry in the air. It was An Experience. I hadn’t wanted to drive that far, and have to bring a comfy chair, and everything I need to travel as a chronically ill and disabled person, but my spouse encouraged me. I’m so glad they did. If you get the chance, don’t pass it up. Regardless of how it may appear, total eclipses don’t happen that often, and are limited to where they can be seen from geographically.

[victorluvsalice]

They did indeed! Smiler broke out the old Charisma to close a few deals, and they and Victor rung up their various customers for six items in the end -- a rainbow egg, a zombie cake, a box of meat substitute jars, a happy-scent perfume, a crate of strawberry milk, and a raspberry pie -- for a total profit on the day of $2,502! :D Yeah, I know, not that much given how weird Sim economics is, but currently they're on one of the lowest mark-ups, and this is less a money-making venture and more of just a way to use up all the produce they grow on the farm. XD There was some worrying lag at times while they were ringing people up, and I got a Last Exception that makes me think some of Simsonian Library's stuff doesn't always play nice with Brazen Lotus's stuff, but it all worked out in the end!

Aaand Smiler managed to close the store before anyone could go into the bathroom and find Alice "marking her territory" on the floor. *facepalm* Alice. I know you're a werewolf, and Erratic to boot. But the stalls were RIGHT THERE! Like, seriously, RIGHT THERE! Fortunately, she cleaned up the puddles without any complaint, but yikes. *facepalm* Anyway, she and Smiler finished cleaning up the store while an exhausted Victor napped, and I bought the "First Simoleon" perk and hung it up behind the front counter, along with one of the best pictures from their earlier photo session. :) Though I may want to tweak the placement later...eh, we'll see what happens.

And with that, it was time for the gang to head home! Where, fortunately, there was no more Blizzard -- OR Clement Frost waiting to bug them. Victor Scruberooed himself and then Transportalated up to bed, while Alice let out a Somber Howl to lower her Fury and then sped up to bed. Smiler, meanwhile, flew up to their room to study the latest trends, then hyped and released their "Let's Play Sim Scuffle" video to take advantage of a burst of interest in video games. I hung up my other favorite picture of the trio in front of their store beside their room, then had them breed their frogs to make a new plasma pack --

And instead got a Leopard Frog, one Smiler didn't have yet! So I had them head up to the attic to put that in the collection. :) Now they just need a plain Heart frog, a plain Eggplant frog, and the Whirly variation on the Dirt frog to complete their collection! Nice!

And so this update ends with Smiler singing to themselves in the attic, Victor and Alice sound asleep in their bed, and everyone having had a successful TV Premiere and a pretty successful first opening of their store. Next time -- we have a PROPER grand opening, with a lot less bullshit. XD See you then!

[marlowe1-blog]

The Book of Job, chapters 4-5

Eliphaz the Temanite is a stupid C-nt

Before fullying analyzing these two chapters where Eliphaz ventures to argue with his friend Job about Job's really dark viewpoint, the quote that really gets me is "See how happy is the man whom G-d reproves, Do not reject the discipline of the Almighty" which is something that you can sew into a pillow and give to Grandma and it sounds nice. (5: 17-18 if you really want to do that) but the fact that it comes from the Book of Job should tell you that it's a perilous venture to quote it out of context.

Actually quoting the Bible out of context is a bullshit exercise that people should fucking stop. But I guess I'm howling in the wind since they are calling Bible Thumpers, not Bible Readers.

This is actually a shitty thing to say to anyone. If someone is relatively happy and their life is going well, then you are basically saying that they aren't truly happy until their wife leaves them and they lose their job. But to say it to someone going throught trauma? Fuck you. It's the ancient equivalent of "G-d doesn't give you more than you can handle" or "Everything happens for a reason". It's a stupid fucking thing to say to anyone who is going through a rough patch.

It's fucking evil to say it to a guy whose children just died as he lost all of his money and his health is failing. So that's Eliphaz in a nutshell. Eliphaz is all full of cute little aphorisms and well meaning phrases that help no one but Eliphaz. He sure feels better about himself.

So let's review Eliphaz's rejoinder to Job anger over being born (and over the Leviahan not being let loose to prevent such a horrible moment in his life).

Chapter 4 (remember these are Christian standards but sometimes the Christians can make things easier) starts with Eliphaz claiming that he's reluctant to talk but then upbraids Job for being so helpful to other people in their suffering and now that Job is suffering he's inconsolable? This is rather dickish, but Eliphaz isn't your standard "well I guess all of your comforting words don't work" jerk. He's actually trying to get Job to summon all the strength that Job doesn't have and then goes "what innocent man has ever perished?" which seems perilously close to the Christian beliefs that we are all damned and wicked and awful. He then talks about lions being humbled and what comes around goes around.

So he's saying that Job is somehow guilty.

The rest of the chapter seems like the Christian doctrine where Eliphaz claims to have heard a word, a rumor, something on the wind that told him that no one really measurs up to G-d so of course everyone dies.

The fifth chapter is a ramping up of this belief. Vexation kills a fool. Eliphaz once saw a fool and cursed him. Also foolishness and mischief are man made. And why is Job so smug as to want to judge God who makes rains and saves the needy.

Which brings us back to the shitty quote where Eliphaz says that G-d is justly punishing him and that this is a good thing. Then Eliphaz promises that G-d will make certain that Job is protected. He will save you from the sword; he will protect you from famine and you'll be old and happy.

Just like G-d did with Job's sons. You stupid fuck.

Note that Eliphaz is hitting on the ultimate speech of G-d about how much G-d has to do and how little Job gets of it, but then Eliphaz goes and says that Job deserved and it and that it's cool because that's just punishment and now G-d will totally make things right for Job.

Fuck you Eliphaz.

[beerecordings]

Wolf Bite - Part 17

“I have kids,” he says, the second she closes the door behind them. “Two of them. And they're cute as hell, for the record.”

“You've done little else but beg for your life since I sent Anti out for you again,” replies the Alpha, kicking a chair into place in front of him. “It doesn't seem to be working out very well for you.”

Chase wishes he could be glaring, fierce, cocked like a gun. But he knows he's bug-eyed and pallid, a bead of sweat tracing its way down his temple like a raindrop on glass. The amount of cameras in this room is even worse than the darkness of downstairs. He remembers the anxiety that started to eat him alive in the last year of his streaming career: everyone is looking at you, and all of them think you're pathetic.

Iris folds her hands together, leaning against the table as she looks at him. He doesn't like that. He doesn't like her. He doesn't like that brutal smell, like a layering of something on his tongue, he doesn't like her eyes, looking into him instead of at him, and he definitely doesn't like this place, decrepit and tattooed in spiders.

“What do you want?” he whispers.

“To learn about you.”

“I don't mean that. I mean all of this.”

“Ah,” she says. “Of course. I'm a researcher, Chase. I'm conducting an experiment.”

“Living in the wild?”

“Oh, sure, living in the wild. We'll do that. But it's been done before. What we'll do is live as part of the wild. Never human if we can help it. I want to know how close to a real wolf you can actually get, Chase. And wolves, they don't pick their packs the way humans pick and choose and come and go. No. I'm an Alpha. I saw someone I wanted for my pack, so I took you, even if I had to have you bitten. When we're all wild, you'll stop resisting. The wolf, Chase Brody, is stronger than the human, even in turned wolves. That's my hypothesis. You're my research method.”

He feels something other than sweat running down his cheeks, and he swipes bitterly at his face. He wishes he didn't believe her. He wishes he thought he could resist no matter what. But the moon is getting so close to full, and he knows that the feeling of needing to be a wolf who belongs will only get worse. He knows because he did it once already. He couldn't resist the Second and he can't resist the Alpha now.

“Well, great pick,” he sneers, shoving mussed hair out of his face. “A fucking has-been Youtuber who got famous throwing shit at cups. I've been surviving on junk food, Gatorade, and my space heater for years. I'll be dead in a month living in the woods like an animal.”

“I won't let you die, Chase,” she replies coolly. “Don't be so dramatic. This had nothing to do with your videos – although they did give me a chance to examine your character, or at least the version you show to others. But I've seen your charity streams too, Chase, and I've been to your court dates.”

“What? How long have you been following me?”

“Oh, since before I had JJ turned. I knew exactly who I wanted. You getting away was a mistake, admittedly... Anti fucked that up. Couldn't keep you quiet enough. If he'd listened to me you would never have been barking and howling like that. He would have shut you up.”

Chase swallows, leaning away from her in his chair.

“But once the police came I knew it wouldn't be safe to go get you again, and taking Henrik would be tricky too. Then they sent you to Sean, and I realized you'd find Henrik there if I had him bitten too.”

“So we bonded,” Chase growls. “You planned that. Anti said so. But you planning it didn't make it happen. Henrik's a good guy, and we get along easily, that's the only reason we're friends.”

“Henrik's a trust fund kid with control issues and a sum total of zero social skills. You're not friends, you're pack, and that's because I picked a pair of isolated recluses, put them in exactly the same boat, and threw werewolf instincts into the mix. There is no possible scenario in which you two didn't bond the way I intended you too. My healer, the genius... and you, Chase. The pack wolf of all pack wolves.”

“I don't know what you mean,” he croaks. “I want to go back downstairs to Henrik. You're just a liar.”

“I've seen how you interact with others, Chase, how genuine you are, how you light up every room you step into when you're well. Everyone likes you, Chase.”

He starts laughing, then, despite everything. “You're actually out of your mind.”

“You will be the one to bring my pack together,” she tells him, smiling for once. “Leave the worst of the hunting and the fighting to me and the others, if you have to. You'll be the lowest rank of the pack, but the most central part, too, our cornerstone. When we're settled and we want more wolves, you'll welcome them, the same way you welcomed Henrik, showed him the ropes, cared for him. I promise you'll be taken care of too.”

“You can't possibly be planning to take more people. This is insane!”

“You're prettier when you're not cowering from me, did you know that?”

“If you're trying to make me throw up, just know that it will be you I throw up on.”

She's opening her mouth again when a knock rattles the door.

“Iris?”

“What?” she snaps. “I'm in the middle of something.”

“That doctor's going crazy. I don't want him around JJ. Can't we go for a run?”

“What, in that park where you nearly lost a fight to a fucking social worker? No. Everyone will be out looking for you. I'll take JJ with me tonight. You're staying here. And let the doctor go crazy. He can feel the moon coming. He'll be more himself by the time it's risen.”

There's a long pause, but Chase can tell Anti hasn't moved.

“I want to stay with JJ,” he says finally.

“I said I'm in the middle of something! Do you want me to tell you again? Medicate if you're anxious, just handle it.”

He retreats this time, but Chase can smell... too many emotions at once to pick them apart. Anti smells like that most all the time. Chase never knows what he's feeling.

Iris leans forward again. Her wild hair slides down her shoulders, hanging around her face. “I've been planning this a long time,” she says, very soft. “I'm so glad you're here now. You and the moon, Chase. I can't wait to run with you for the rest of our lives.”

He closes his eyes, trying to breathe. In some part of his body, like the instincts that teach birds to fly, he can feel the moon rising.

.

Marvin finds Jackie at home.

Their home. The thought is still warm in his stomach, but the rest of today has been cold despite the summer heat, everything layered over in goose-flesh anxiety for their missing friends and Sean in the hospital.

Jackie's at his desk, staring at nothing. Unnaturally still for Jackie, always meant to be in motion. He only turns when Marvin is so close he can't smell anything else, startling as he looks up.

“Hey,” he says. “Did you leave Sean in the hospital?”

“Nah, he's in my backpack,” says Marvin. When Jackie only frowns at him, he continues. “His brother just flew in from France, dummy. He's okay.”

Marvin pulls Jackie's rolling chair away from his work desk, spinning him to face him. “You're thinking about Chase and the doc.”

“I'm going to handle that,” says Jackie. “I don't want you worrying.”

Marvin pauses, rocking on his heels as he regards his cousin.

“Yeah,” he says. “You're going to get Graham to help you.”

Jackie's stern look breaks in half and his mouth falls open, staring at Marvin. “What?”

Marvin breathes out, shaking his head, and gives a little laugh for reasons he couldn't name. “Jackie. For all his many, many, many faults – like, a lot of faults, for real, probably hundreds – ”

“Yes, thank you, Marvin, I get it.”

“ – he's also the greatest tracker I've ever heard of. He might be able to catch their scents beneath everything.”

“Yeah, but I didn't want you to know,” says Jackie, voice rising. “I didn't want – ”

He cuts himself off, rubbing bitterly at his face. Marvin nods, breathing out again, long, low, slow. It's okay. They're okay.

“Jackie,” he says, softly. “Go do what you have to do.”

Jackie's shaking his head at him already. “No. I will do anything to help Henrik and Chase, but you're my pack, I have to worry about you first, and if this will hurt you, I – ”

“It won't hurt me. It's you. I trust you.”

Marvin leans down to Jackie's level. He reaches out to grab his shoulder, squeezing firm, familiar pressure into his arm, and smiles at him.

“I told you I wanted you to be my Alpha. That means I trust you to make your own decisions about your dad. Whatever you need, Jackie, I'll support you.”

Jackie's breath catches slightly, blinking fast. Oh, no. Marvin laughs again, weaker. If Jackie cries, he'll cry too, and they've had enough of that for this week.

“You really meant it,” Jackie says. “All of this.”

“Yes,” Marvin murmurs. “I will follow you wherever you lead.”

Jackie clears his throat and nods. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I'm going to call on Dad. And when I find them, Marvin... I'll bring them back to you. And I'll build a pack for you.”

Marvin feels his face stretch with how big he smiles. “Seriously? You're ready?”

“I will be,” says Jackie, rising to his feet. “Because they need me to be. And if you trust me, that's enough.”

He throws up the hood of his jacket. “Stay here for your full moon, where it's safe. Dad and I will be tracking. He's not pushing me around today, either. He's not my Alpha anymore. I lead my own pack.”

Marvin sees him off, watching him go from the door. He won't celebrate, not until everyone's home safe, but with the moon so close to full, he can't deny for a moment how long he and his wolf have both waited to hear words like those from the Alpha he's followed for years.

He doesn't want to deny it anymore, either. This is what he's always wanted. Finally, he can have it.

“As long as the moon brings you all back to me in one piece,” he whispers. “Hold on just a while longer. He's coming.”

He just hopes Chase and Henrik are still themselves when they find them.

.

The line of questioning Iris puts him through freaks him out so thoroughly he's actually relieved to return to the concrete prison of the basement beneath the house, but the door still closes behind him with a click like the timer of a bomb being started.

It's dark down the stairs. Chase stands at the top of them for a moment, shaking and hugging himself. He wants to go home so badly. He wishes he could have at least said goodbye to the kids.

“Schneep?” he croaks, padding down the stairs. “You okay?”

Claws scrabble in the dim light and he blinks as he makes his way down the stairs, trying to sort through everyone's scent. Henrik's still a wolf, and for some reason, it gives him a chill down his spine. He barks and approaches Chase in a rush, pressing his head into his leg.

“Your packmate's out of control,” snarls Anti from the corner, JJ panting cheerfully in his lap. “Howling and sprinting around. Can't you quiet him down?”

“Oh, yeah, I wonder why he'd be freaked out,” Chase snarls back, but Anti responds with a growl so intense Chase shows his neck, gripping at Henrik's fur. Henrik rumbles a threat at Anti.

“Dude, please give me a sign you're okay,” Chase whispers, leaning down to speak to the white wolf. Henrik nips gently at his hands, but doesn't shift back.

“It's his first full moon,” Anti mumbles. “He won't be himself much longer. You were the same way.”

Chase shivers and leans down to hug Henrik closely. JJ, apparently interested in the display of affection, trots over to the pair of them, tongue hanging out warmly. For the second time, Chase reaches out to the little stranger and puts his hand tentatively on his head. Henrik growls, but he doesn't do anything, and when JJ doesn't either, he goes quiet. When JJ is still, Chase rubs at his ears. JJ thumps his tail and leans forward to sniff at Henrik. For the first time, Henrik allows it.

Okay. At least they're not destroying each other down here. They've got to work together, and after all he's heard... Chase thinks there might actually be a chance they could.

He clears his throat. “Anti?”

Anti glares up at him from the corner. Even as a human, he seems to have an unnatural light in his eyes. Chase steels his nerves and approaches him, hands gripped into fists.

Anti watches him carefully. Chase sinks down to sit a few feet from him, showing his neck nervously, and it seems to soothe Anti in some way, the show of submission.

“I need to talk to you,” Chase says. “Quietly. Do you think she can hear this?”

“Don't try to conspire with me, dumbass,” grumbles Anti, rubbing at his face. “She always finds everything out.”

Chase scoots closer, licking at his dry mouth. “Look, man, she – she turned you, right?”

Anti doesn't answer, setting his chin in his hand and staring across the room at JJ as he gently explores Henrik's smell, that bushy black tail wagging endlessly.

“I thought it was all you,” Chase rushes to explain, voice low. “When you abducted me, when you made me shift – but I realized, while I was talking with her.”

“That it was her orders?” Anti mumbles.

“Yeah, well, I knew that. But what I realized, Anti, is that my wolf, the part of me running on pure wolf instincts – it never felt this way with you. This total fear I have of her – when it was you and me, it wasn't like that.”

“Because you bonded to me, idiot,” Anti snaps. “Duh. I'm the one who turned you. Of course your wolf trusted me, even though you shouldn't have.”

“My wolf doesn't trust her even though she smells like an Alpha,” Chase insists. “But you – my wolf never stopped trusting you. And that made me feel like shit the whole time I was trying to recover, because I didn't want to feel anything for you after what you did to me. But now I wonder if maybe the reason my wolf trusted you – the reason I bonded to you, missed your scent, missed being your pack – was because you are, actually, a lot more trustworthy than you're letting on.”

“Oh, shut the hell up,” Anti growls. “Are you joking? You know exactly what I did to you. And to the doc.”

“She told you to. Right? It was her idea. She made you.”

“Chase, why are you fucking trying to give me excuses? Are you really this desperate to believe I'm not dangerous?”

“Yeah, kind of,” he chokes, voice wavering. “Aren't you a prisoner too?”

Anti rubs at his face again. Chase watches his hands, frowning. Is he shaking? It's not cold. Chase reaches forward for a second, almost wanting to touch him.

“Anti,” he says again. “Weren't we pack, for a moment in time?”

“No,” says Anti, softly. “You're fooling yourself.”

“Please don't let this happen to us. Tell me you regret what you did, that you only did it because she made you. We have to get out, man. You can't want this to happen, can you? Your brother – ”

“Don't talk about JJ.”

“You love him, right? Is this really what you want for him?”

Anti won't look at him anymore. He's running his fingers through his hair, eyes distant.

“Even if it was your teeth,” Chase goes on doggedly. “She bit all of us, right? She – ”

“No,” Anti cuts him off. “No, she didn't. I'm a born wolf.”

Chase starts. “Oh. I thought you said...”

“I didn't say shit.”

“Why didn't you tell me when I asked?”

Anti takes a long time to reply. His eyes flicker up to the cameras all around the room, and he shifts in place, looking back at JJ, who's now trying to engage Henrik in a game, chasing his tail and yipping. Chase slips a little closer to Anti, desperate for any shred of hope. He can't lose himself tonight.

“I didn't tell you because it makes it worse,” whispers Anti.

Chase stares at him, waiting, but Anti never seems to volunteer any info without being prompted. “Why is it worse?”

He's staring down at his hands, shaking in his lap. Actually, they're shaking pretty badly.

“Because for nineteen years, I made sure my baby brother knew he could be a wolf the second he decided he wanted to be,” Anti replies, voice rough. “I would offer every year on his birthday: told him I could bite him, guide him, be his pack, but only if he really wanted. And for nineteen years, he told me no.”

“He finally told you yes this year?”

“No,” chokes Anti. “No. He...”

Oh, no. Chase's stomach hurts for a second, twisting up.

“He didn't want to be a wolf.”

Anti doesn't reply. His eyes are wide. Chase blinks, tilting his head to look at him more closely. His eyes aren't just wide, the pupils are blown.

“Wait a second, wait,” says Chase, almost laughing from how fucked up this all is. “Are you – are you high?”

Anti licks his dry lips, gaze flickering over to him. “No... I mean, I just had a little.”

Chase gapes, head shaking. “So she's your supply too. That's – holy shit, that's what that chemical smell is, and where the money for the fancy equipment comes from. She's dealing. What are you on?”

“Nothing illegal, they're just painkillers! Fuck off, okay?”

“Yeah, painkillers are still illegal without a prescription.”

“I just need something to help. She says the cravings will stop once we're wolves full-time.”

“There's no way it works like that. Anti, this is insane. You need to get out of this, man. This is – this is Alpha violence and addiction and maybe a cult, I think? And if you're her Second, does that make the two of you partners? She's the one who gave you that bruise on your face, right? You and Henrik and JJ and I, we need – ”

“Keep your fucking voice down!”

“We have to get out of this or we're going to get stuck!”

“They're stuck already!” screams Anti, whisper tearing into a shout. “Look at them! It's been months since JJ was human! His mind is gone! Don't you understand, there's no escape for us: he can't disobey her while he's this feral, and I won't leave my brother to this fate alone, I can't. So yes, I bit you and your friend, and I locked you up, I don't care, I would do it again to keep him safe!”

“Does this look like safety to you?” Chase snarls back.

“Once we get to the forest – ”

“No, once we get to the forest we'll all be lost, for good! Now is the time to fight her, Anti, now is the time to save your brother, because I don't think we'll get another chance!”

Anti clamps his hand over Chase's mouth, shoving him back against the wall, and all of a sudden Chase remembers exactly who he's dealing with. He whimpers, extending his neck in a snap, and Anti's teeth gleam even in the sliver of light through the high basement window-wells.

For a second, he thinks Anti will bite him just to show dominance. His eyes have caught the moonlight; they gleam more like a cat's than a dog's, silver and piercing. But a moment passes, and Anti just seems to crumple. His hand slides away from Chase's neck. His gaze falls to the floor.

“Iris used JJ against me,” his voice comes, tremulous as a leaf on the wind. “For so long, it was just talk: talk about her and I going away together, to live like real wolves. I loved it. Soaked in the idea. She was my only werewolf friend, and then something more, and I needed the connection. We made plans to go to Canada. But she started to change when I let her start calling herself my Alpha, and myself her Second. Commanding. Confining. I thought we were just fighting like a normal couple until the first time she hit me, hard enough that my nose bled. I tried to get out that night. She told me that if I didn't come home, she'd go to JJ's dorm in London and bring him with her to the wild instead.”

Chase's blood chills. For a second, he almost gets lost in the memories that summons in him: memories of his own sister, of his failed attempts to protect her or to get back to her. Even now, not having spoken to her in years – if someone threatened her, he... might do anything.

“We used to visit him at uni together. She got along with him, but he was having trouble with his professors and classmates. He – he's mute, always has been. A deformity in his voicebox. There were some incidents of discrimination, and he was having trouble making friends. He started to isolate himself. The worse it got, the more she started to talk about how much better it would be for him to be a wolf, how he wouldn't need to talk if he were living wild with us. I even thought it might be an okay idea, for a while. I let him know the offer always stands if he wants to come with. But he was determined to get his degree. I thought she was just lamenting the discrimination until she started to threaten him, to keep me in line. I realized she has no respect for him or what he goes through with his mutism. But by then it was too late. She knew where he lived, and she wanted him for her own.”

Chase can't help but reach out, then, just for a moment. His hand raises and falls onto Anti's shoulder.

“I was so stupid,” Anti whispers. “For not seeing what she was earlier. She's nothing but my captor, now, and his. I should have taken him and run the first time she threatened him. Should have called the police, should never have started taking the oxy's with her, should have – ”

“Dude, you can't blame yourself,” Chase whispers back. “This is messed up stuff, and these things, they happen in a spiral – start out small and get bigger, and by then, you feel trapped. She hid who she was. You did everything you could to keep him safe.”

Anti just shakes his head, lost in something else, somewhere far away.

“I bit him,” he whispers, so soft Chase almost doesn't catch it. “She pinned him down and ordered me to. Said she'd do it herself if I didn't.”

Chase closes his eyes.

“The way he looked at me,” Anti chokes. “The betrayal in his face... I... I haven't seen his human eyes since, and now, I never will again. I'm going to be stuck with that memory of him staring up at me, with the tears and the pain and the disbelief, signing my name... for the rest of my life. So you see... JJ and I, we're both stuck already.”

“Please don't give up, Anti,” Chase begs. “I can't do this alone.”

“You saw me as I am when I bit you, Chase. Just an animal, trapped by her will. I deserve this fate. Now, I can't do anything but try my best to keep him safe from her for the rest of our lives.”

His gaze goes distant, a drowsy, sickly smell poisoning his scent, and Chase knows whatever he took is kicking in. “I think it will be better in the forest,” he says, almost dreamily. “Maybe all these thoughts will leave me alone, and finally, I'll just be the monster I am.”

Henrik comes trotting back towards them, and Chase can't press any further. He doesn't think he wants to know more. Instead, he reaches out with trembling fingers and clutches Henrik's fur, burying his face in the side of him, and he cries for a while as Henrik sits solidly beside him, as though protecting him from the rest of the world.

JJ comes to join them minutes later, settling himself back in Anti's lap as his brother drifts, eyes fixed on something nobody else can see. Chase's bones begin to itch with the need to shift, but he'll hold on as long as he can. Someone has to keep track of Anti's pulse, thready and tremulous beneath Chase's fingers on his wrist.

[coralcatsea]

I feel like rating the Batman Caped Crusader villains, so here we go.

Note: These ratings are just what I was feeling at the time, but they're subject to change if I see more of them in the next season!

Mama Penguin: 7/10. she was enjoyable to watch and felt like a cross between the Witch of the Waste from Howl's Moving Castle and Captain Dola from Castle in the Sky. 😆 I also liked the look she has with the purple dress. I feel like we needed more about her role as a villain, why she's a villain, etc.

Clayface: 6.5/10. He was pretty fun, I liked the mystery surrounding him and his general demeanour. The sword fight was also good. I feel like he could've been more memorable, though, and it could've been more fleshed out why Clayface went off the deep end and immediately tried to kill his costar. Maybe delve into how he realised that if she rejected him despite changing his looks, it must mean there's something wrong with his personality, and that's how he comes to decide his personality is evil or something?

Catwoman: 10/10. She had cats in every corner of her house and a catmobile. That automatically makes her amazing because it's hilarious and I'm biased. She also had a very lively and amusing personality. She was playful and expressive, and her over the top innocent act cracked me up. I love how she took inspiration from Batman because she vibed with his aesthetic, and she truly committed to the bit. We also got a bit of backstory for why she is the way she is, and her dynamic with the maid was great.

Firebug: 4/10. He had potential and they did nothing with it. I liked how he put on goggles and saw everyone happily being consumed by flames, but...that's about it. They didn't tell us anything about him, he was just a plot device.

Harleen/Jester: 8/10. I was looking forward to seeing this show's take on Harley, and I enjoyed it a good amount. I particularly liked her as Harleen and appreciated the psychiatrist focus since a lot of times that side gets forgotten. It was interesting to see her reasoning for becoming a villain, and while I didn't get their reasoning for the Jester connection at first, I later realised it and the theming of her victims is connected to Jungian archetypes! Having it related to psychology is pretty clever!! I will say I didn't get the point of the Renee/Harleen stuff. I was curious how and why they would fall for each other, and...it kind of just happened? I hope they'll delve into the reason for attraction in s2.

Gentleman Ghost: 6/10. He seemed cool, buuut...we didn't see enough of his personality and his motivation felt kind of bland to me. Him being an actual ghost also felt a bit out of place. I didn't mind it too much, but I guess I was just surprised there wasn't some "scientific" reasoning for him.

Onomatopoeia: 5/10. Kind of amusing, but it's hard to form a strong opinion about a guy whose face is fully covered and he doesn't say anything but stuff like "plip plip plip" and "bang!" 😂

Natalya: 7/10. Cool design, she gave Wednesday vibes. I also liked her personality and how she felt like a more tragic villain. Her brother helped add to that, along with her mysterious condition. I do wish we got to know more about the condition. She also managed to bring out Batman's compassionate side, which was really nice.

Harvey: 5/10. Meh...he was more complex than the totally corrupt version in the Harley Quinn show, but that's not saying much. I liked what they were TRYING to do, with his original self being more corrupt and then he gains a conscience when he becomes the victim and gets scarred. But I feel like it wasn't written or explored that well, and he barely had time to be Two Face before they took him out of the picture.

[casspurrjoybell-30]

Howling Love - Chapter 10

*Warning Adult Content*

Camryn Summer

"Stand down Camryn," my father growled as he had ruined a perfectly good moment for Amille and I.

There was something hostile about his manner and his gaze toward Amille that I couldn't help but want to stand in the way of.

He didn't shift in his way to get past me but it seemed he was willing to push through me if he had to.

I could just tell.

"Don't do this Camryn... stand down," he ordered again with a growl which made my wolf angrier.

"No... you stand down," I growled back with more ferocity as I held Amille behind me, there was an overwhelming need to protect him that came from my wolf and by instinct I just knew.

"Triss, the boy is right," Beta Kyra intervened luckily and I was grateful for it because I knew one way or the other I was definitely going to fight my father.

"Stay out of this Kyra. You knew he was here, you knew he was back and you said nothing," my father hissed back, his anger now driven toward his beta.

"He had no obligation to tell you," Calvin, Amille's dad argued causing everyone to look at him then my father.

I kept wondering why my father was so angry, why he seemed almost hurt in a way.

"I had every right to know, I am the Alpha of this pack, this is my land, my pack, he should've told me,and he knows it," my father protested as his eyes shifted back to me and past me to Amille which confused me.

"You're making a scene Alpha and you're scaring the children, Camryn go, take everyone inside," Dean's mother, who was one of the pack's midwives stated and I nodded toward her, taking Amille into my arms.

[Come on Maxine] Amille signed just before he had to hold on to my neck and I walked into the house with my friends in tow.

"That was intense, can anyone tell me what the hell just happened?" Teja exclaimed and none of us could reply him.

"As you can clearly see pint-size, none of us know," Maxine replied as we settled in the living room.

Somehow I couldn't help blame myself over what my father had done.

I was the one who had actually told him about Amille and his dad when I went to his office and his reaction did seem off when I did tell him.

A tap on my cheek made me turn to Amille who was still in my arms, right on my lap.

I couldn't help nervously chuckle, he fit so well there.

I had totally forgotten that he was there, only knowing that I was protectively holding him.

It felt natural, like I was holding a part of myself if I could say it like that.

[You can put me down now] he signed and I didn't want to yet I had to.

My wolf forced itself to the surface causing a growl to escape my lips unintentionally, it earned everyone's attention and Amille's shocked expression.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry duck-face, I can't control him right now. He's pushing and for some reason still feeling danger," I apologized and Amille nodded.

A knowing look on his face that made me relax when he got comfortable in my hold.

"Possessive much Alpha," Orlando teased making both Amille and I want to hide away or hit him, which Amille actually did with a couch pillow.

"Hey. Ouch. Sorry," he claimed with a shriek making all of us laugh.

[How about we let them discuss whatever it is they want to discuss and we get snacks from the kitchen, watch movies in the movie room. I finally got that big flat screen] Amille suggested and I was definitely on board with that.

"Now that's a great plan, Amille you go set up, Dean, Orlando go get some blankets, we'll get the food," Maxine immediately stated and I was glad she took the lead giving me and my duck faced curly headed moose some time alone.

We were in the movie room trying to pick out a movie, after my wolf finally released Amille.

I wondered why I was so possessive of him.

It was true that we had barely known each other but I knew more about Amille than I did about my friends or my ex-boyfriend.

It was the same for him, our conversations were easy, everything flowed, I knew how to rile him up or get him to blush, which was my favourite thing.

I knew his favourite music and his point of view in politics, he wasn't a republican but he liked some of their view.

He hated how transgender men or women were side-lined in some sports and he was jealous of the way wolves could see in the dark because he wanted to be naughty and not be seen, it was adorable.

[How about we watch Frozen or The Incredibles or maybe even Ice age] he suggested and I couldn't help chuckle at how innocent and childlike he seemed.

So full of energy that I could feel it and soak in its goodness.

[Camryn, stop daydreaming] he suddenly yelled with his phone whilst stomping his foot.

"How about all of them choco-swirl," I suggested and he nodded with a grin on his face.

"Come here," I ordered lightly and hugged him, it was addictive just holding him.

Feeling him in my arms and after what had happened outside.

I knew he was trying not to focus on it.

I was trying my best not to use my incredibly good hearing to hear whatever it was that had my father ruining an extremely good barbeque like this.

"You feeling better?" I asked and he shrugged.

[I'm okay, not better. I'm glad you were there] he replied in sign language and I was so glad to be taking lessons.

It made communicating so much easier and like I had wanted, he would spend less time typing on his phone.

"Well you're about to get better best friend," Maxine announced as she walked in with three trays of good and snacks.

Teja came in with actual baskets of food.

Goddess knows I'd never understand what it was with them two that made them love food so much.

"She's right, now come on, let's get to watching," Dean supported as he and Orlando handed each pair a blanket, the movie room had recliner seats, which meant each pair had their own double recliner seat they could bicker on.

Of course Amille naturally or unnaturally was in my arms glued to me by my arm, his head on my chest, it felt just right.

So we began watching Frozen and it was the perfect ending to a good day despite that bump that had occurred.

I had him in my arms and nothing mattered, I didn't want a reason for it to matter, I was just glad that it was.

As Elsa was flinging ice into her sister's chest, the door opened slightly, I scented out Calvin and Maxine's mom by the door.

"How is he?" I heard him whisper and I knew he was counting on my wolf hearing to hear him and respond, reminding me that Calvin was actually a wolf but that didn't matter.

"He's okay, he's dealing but he'll be alright, maybe just confused about everything but alright," I replied in a whisper as Amille was immersed in the movie not even knowing that I was talking to his dad.

"Good. How are the others?" Maxine's mother asked and I reassured her as well that they were okay, we were okay.

"Thank you Camryn, for everything, I'm glad he has you," Calvin whispered lastly and that tinge of pride swelled in me, at least I didn't have to worry so much about getting his blessing.

"Thank you, Mister Laurent," I replied just as the door closed again and I turned back to Amille who was near tears watching the movie, so was Maxine and Orlando.

"Short-stack, what's wrong?" I immediately asked.

[Anna turned into a popsicle] he signed with a sniffle and all I wanted was to groan.

Oh boy, my chocolate-moose was also emotional about everything, especially Disney animations but hey that's what made him special to me.

"She'll be okay won't she?" I asked and he nodded back still sniffling and wiping away his tears, so I held him to my chest as he calmed down.

"See? She gets all better because of love."