#did it ever really go away
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had like ten different mini dreams about being friends w dan and phil last night this is how you know the brain rot has returned
#did it ever really go away#i love being parasocial#they r my best friends what r u talking about#my gay dads#but then i wake up and im always SO SAD i wasnāt actually having silly bants with them#dan and phil#dnpgames#phan#daniel howell#amazing phil
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EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT FUCKING NOW
EVERYBODY SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the teru & reigen virus can attack at any time.#over the most miniscule things at that.#IVE CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY OF THEM BOTH LIKING IT BEFORE. BECAUSE OF REIGENāS. TASTE IN MOVIES#BUT. AHHHHH!!!!! HAHGHHHGHG!!!!!!!!!!!#its REAL#teru finding reigenās fdp poster. barely restraining his overjoyed wonder that someone else enjoys something niche he enjoys#teru in his most normalest voice ever: oh wow you like this movie too? what a coincidence! [jittering so bad he might burst]#the teru&reigen movie lineup must he INSANE#be*#i need to make a fic right now (is about to go to sleep)#the possibilities. (<-is insane and crazy and insatiable)#flashback to the flying dead pig comic. tear streaks down cheek#I COULD SENSE THE ENERGY FROM A MILE AWAY. CANNOT HIDE FROM ME#i think reigen would enjoy having someone to talk crappy movies with. but teru would genuinely love them i think so reigen would have to#tread lightly while speaking about them#reigen: yeah the direction in this movie was totally messy#teru concealing biggest saddest frown ever: it is just creative. you dont know a goddamn thing#reigen would not hide his truths [emoji] but he would pity the boy#teru&reigen seventeen hour discussion about old obscure movies (NO SURVIVORS RITSU CAUGHT IN THE BLAST AND KILLED)#im sick#i also love how this trivia is worded. its very deliberate if you get what i mean#ā[muttering out of side of mouth] also..if you didnt knowā¦..ā#its a fun piece of factoid to share. and i. i really. im im teally. i jsut . i am telaly gals thhat they worded it aaid ltit like thaey did.#THIS IS SUXH NOTHINGBURGER. IM SORRY#dude this is why i have the teru reigen family album. im desperate for the smallest of morsels. just a CRUMBBB PLEAAASE#GHHAHAHEHEHAJA !!!!! HHHRHEGEGAHAHS S AAWWHHHH AHHHHBABHAHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!! RRRRAGHSHHAAAGAGEGGEHHRHRH#mob psycho 100#mp100#teruki hanazawa#reigen arataka
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Does
Does Barnaby
Does Barnaby tell the others to get off his lawn when he's angry
psh, who do you think he is, an old man? he'd Bark, like any lively young dog
#serves them right for (playfully) arguing right outside of his house smh#hes got sensitive ears yall... probably... i wouldnt know...#i bet ya could hear that woof everywhere in the neighborhood#and feel it. its gotta be deep as hell. bass boosted boof#legend has it that a Single Can fell in howdy's store#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#many thoughts about barnaby and barking#id imagine that if asked if he can bark hed be like 'yeah but its a waste of effort / who has the time for That'#i doubt he ever really does it...#cause that would take effort and really when would he be in the mood to be able to do it#its like. i dont get how some people can just let out a real good yell/scream on command#if im not angry enough i Physically Cannot raise my voice in that way. just dont have it in me#and id also think that barnaby has a thick skin. takes a lot to make him That Peeved yk yk#but when he does bark. oof. thats gotta be the loudest shit ever#everyone runs out of their homes like 'what happened??? is there a thunderstorm??? did a fuckin Bomb go off??'#meanwhile barnaby is slamming his door behind him and frank & julie are speedwalking away from his house with ringing ears#thoughts thoughts thoughts Musings
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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rereading the nuca pink doujin and seeing yakumo tear himself apart re: his snake form vs his human form all this agony and self-doubt and silent suffering and fear of rejection like "if i looked less human would u hate me" , "if u saw me in my true form wouldn't that be horrible. terrifying. disgusting" , "if i admitted i want to swallow you whole would you think worse of me"
and i imagine him asking something like this to the crowd of clan members , who are , undeniably,, a group of Kinky Fuckers
they all smile with the serenity and carefully masked excitement of a horny olivine. masterful beautiful reassuring expressions (errr..... masked to different degrees depending on the clan member)
#yaku is in his head so much about that#he thinks his snake form would be gross right? right????#eiden might give me Wet Hole privileges when i look like this carefully crafted human avatar#but if i revert to my original body there's no way anyone would ever want to ..be with me... like that? right???#meanwhile eiden's just got that sly look on his face in the corner waiting for yakumo to make the proposal#i can't imagine any of the clan members being particularly freaked out about yaku in snake form.....#all the yokai are immediately eliminated from Grossed Out pool. like. that's them. they know how it be#then you got the ppl who have lived way too long to be shocked by a sweet little snakewife being more noodley than usual#rei and quincy fall into that category most likely. blade by association because . well. blade.#he's gonna make a Yakuchan Snake sculpture and it's gonna be extra cute so yakumo doesn't feel shy about his snake form anymore#(actually it's going to freak yaku out even more and he's gonna spiral thinking that he's uglier than he ever imagined)#(and he's gonna run away feeling more insecurity while blade is SUPER CONFUSED because he captured his cuteness perfectly??)#(eiden's gonna have to reconcile another misunderstanding. sorry eiden. artistic differences are rough)#and you have the general Kinky Fuckers like eiden oli and morv#morv won't care as long as you feed him LOL#and eiden and oli are just sideeyeing excitedly like. snake? snake??? can we. can we try that š#i imagine that the only people who might express hesitation at first are edmond and dante#eddie would probably cave though once he realises it is IN FACT still yakumo in there. and he can fully consent#(then we give way to Kinky Fucker Edmond. Welcome to the party eddie!)#hmm... dante... never really thought about him and snakekumo...#how would that even go DOWN? like what is even the siTUATION here? how did we get here??#dante catches sooley who has a tiny snakekumo in his mouth??? a tiny lil guy who was lurking in his palace for some reason???#hm. warrants more thought exploration. we'll come back to that another time.#nu carnival yakumo
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Stillborn? No, still born au -- Dani Phantom! Clone girl herself. :]
She can't exist in this au. And it's not that I don't want to add her -- although I'll be blunt, I don't, I'll be the first to admit that I think she's more often than not nothing more than a narrative deadweight used to prop up Danny and I don't like adding characters as props -- but her existence quite literally goes against and muddies the Vlad and Danny dynamic I have for this au. Ellie's existence in canon itself states that she was created -- and Danny's other clones too -- because Vlad gave up on trying to convert him to his side and decided to just make a son instead.
Something that just, doesn't happen in the stillborn-still born au. See, for folks who are only just hearing about this au or didn't see my post about Vlad in this au, he and Danny have a complicated love-hate relationship where they mutually want to adopt each other, but their morals and way of doing things -- mainly Vlad's insistence on getting revenge against the Fentons -- gets in the way of them being able to do that in full.
Vlad knows Danny wants him to adopt him, and is only fighting him on it because he refuses to let Vlad kill the Fentons for essentially killing the both of them. He's succeed in 50% of his goal. Canon Vlad never even made it to 1%. With that in mind, stillborn Vlad has no reason and sees no reason to clone Danny, he has his son. He just needs to convince him to let him avenge them both.
Dani simply has no place in the stillborn-still born au. And in fact, if Vlad did decide to clone Danny -- for whatever reason, -- it would damage his relationship with Danny damn near beyond repair. That's because Danny would view it the same way he views Damian's existence; as a replacement for himself. He would become beyond furious and hurt, and not for the typical 'I can't believe you cloned me, you creep!' reason, but for a 'I can't believe you cloned me, you said I was your son!' reason.
I am not pulling any punches here when I say Danny wants Vlad to be his dad just as much as Vlad wants Danny to be his son, there's just a lot of factors getting in the way. They are, as the french say, āØmentally unwell.āØ Danny has a ton of abandonment and trust issues due to his experiences in foster care. He would immediately become jealous, insecure, and incredibly furious and hurt. He'd despise her on principal and want nothing to do with her, or Vlad for that matter. He'd just fucking haaate her. It's not her fault she was made but Danny doesn't really care, he's lashing out and pushing people away because he's been betrayed yet again.
The only way they could get along or for Danny to actually like her in any capacity would be if it was his idea to clone himself. Which is like, kinda obvious but considering most clone plots tend to be non-consensual it's kinda gotta be said. He has to have a hand in creating her, that's the only way I can see him liking her in any way. Or if someone other than Vlad created her. If Vlad clones him though, all bets are off the table and he'll despise her.
TL;DR: Dani can't exist in this au because she goes against the narrative I've got for the two most fucked up half-dead could-be-father-son duo in existence, but if she did exist Danny would despise her.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny#danyal al ghul#dpxdc au#vlad masters#dani phantom#he's what the french like to call 'emotionally unstable' <3. vlad is a possessive parent thats obvi but DANNY is a possessive son#he is SO not mentally okay. he's a good kid! but he's also mentally unwell and incredibly traumatized <3#he doesnt play nice with his biological siblings unfortunately :((#danny as a default pushes his people away from him and flinches away from most conventional affection bc he thinks its insincere#and it takes a while to convince him that yes you do actually care about his well being and you're not going to hurt him.#he really is just a traumatized cat that you have to coax into letting you pet it. he clings onto the people he trusts like a terrified cat#have you ever tried pulling a cat down from something when their claws are dug into it and the only way you can get them down is by hurting#them a little because you have to yank them off? yeah that's danny.#if dani DID exist and Danny and her DID get along she'd spend a lot of time also convincing him to let vlad kill the fentons. danny keeps#trying to tell her murder is wrong. dani just says 'but they got you and dad killed' and unfortunately she is as stubborn as her brother an#dad. she gets to be a little evil. as a treat <3. she also doesnt like damian but that's because she too is a possessive sister#who doesnt like to share and damian already *has* a bunch of older brothers. he doesn't *need* danny. and also he's a replacement#we love complicated family dynamics <33 THE most dysfunctional half-dead not-family ever.
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"Alright...let's go talk to your father."
Pocahontas (1995)
#not sure when i'm ever gonna get around to giffing the rest of this scene so#here u go~#disney's pocahontas#pocahontasedit#disneyedit#fyeahpocahontas#disneyfeverdaily#disney pocahontas#disney john smtih#pocahontas x john smith#pocajohn#pocahontas#john smith#this is such a sweet moment y'kno?#they are Stupid in love#and there's so much to say about the characters and the body language they went with here likeeeeeee#i mean ever since they Almost Kissed after Colors of the Wind and Pocahontas ducked out#it seemed that John was like ''okay so we're putting that possibility away Right Now that's fine.''#bc he's actually. like. really respectful of her boundaries. if she sets one he's like ''OK š!''#and now it's like. if all they ever did after that was hold hands and nothing more he'd accept that. do u see what i mean?#so her hugging him here is like. He's SURPRISED by it and that is so wild to me#bc they Are physical in so many ways like they're so comfortable in each others' space. and all the little touchesssss#but they've never crossed a certain line til This Moment and now the Line Is Being Crossed#and there's this sense of Relief happening with the music and the setting#and the expressions and the Everything#UHGHGHGHHG i'm rambling but they drive me so crazy dude.#queso*gif#queso*edit#pocahontas (1995)
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They would be so insufferable once they got together Iām telling you right now
Request by @molten-rainbows!šāØāØ
Uni-fying the requests because.
#worst double date ever when those guys keep getting denied access to many places for a second ride#for context! they arenāt the biggest fans of pda actually#they got lost inside the haunted house that also worked like a maze of the sorts. Meryl and Milly got out first and waited for them to#come out. but they never did. Meryl asked for security to look for them and they were caught in a place they shouldnāt be at#when asked abt the hickeys. they say they were hiding from someone who was chasing them. Vash covered WW mouth and he bit his palm#so Vash bit his hand in return. and bc theyāre losers they kept going until things started to escalate and well#things ended up like that. and now they canāt get into the haunted house again.#Meryl considers not letting them be too far away from their line of sight because they are bastards separately and how together they are#somehow even worse. Milly wonāt really interfere but would stop them if they start anything in public#which they wouldnāt. but they all know that would be a consequence#I cant for the love of me draw with at least a little bit of context behind it even if itās just three panels OQJWK#without AA i make so many mistakes but whatever#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#trigun fanart#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#millymeryl#the girls finally OQNWM#lenssi draws#Trigun Uni! AU#take the color palette as a grain of salt I have zero consistency. also the style I guess
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Itās giving high school rom com
#ābut I LOVE him dad! weāre gonna be together forEVER.āā#ābeing a jock was always YOUR dream not mineāā#āI donāt care what you say! Iām not throwing away my life! Weāre going to go run off to school together and live happily ever after!āā#and ya know what#they did#rhink#rhett and link#gmmore 2539#idk there was something about their tone that really made this#also link playing with his ring
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i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc
#oc text#obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous#even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim#not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like#even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly#and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath#AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this?#he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly#bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!!#while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety !#so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him š'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes...#we're also weird eating buddies <3#and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time#severe death phobia buddies...#i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it#as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this#form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim#though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything#he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though)#but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon.#my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them.#he's growing with me.#oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors#ok goodnite
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USOPP ABSOLUTELY POPPING TF OFF???? Hitting a target THAT far away with SUPREME precision AND unlocking Haki?? IāM SITTING HERE LIKE
#MY MANS!!!!!!!!!!!#Listen I was REALLY upset with him earlier in the arc when he was a PUSSY and ran away from Trebol#Like. He had a whole thing about how heās changed and how heās not that much of a coward anymore#AND THEN HE FUCKING LEFT THE TONTATTAS AND RAN WITH HIS TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS LIKE A LITTLE BITCH#I WAS SO. FUCKING MAD#They were getting their asses beat and crying his name and he was being the BIGGEST fucking pussy on the planet#GOD I wanted to throttle him#Itās okay tho this was his redemption moment.#SO PROUD OF YOU BABY#Love that his fear of losing Luffy overpowered any feelings of cowardice#Like. He was so worried he was going to forget Luffy. He DID ALL THAT FOR HIS CAPTAIN#ALSO WHEN HE SAID āThe seas without youā¦I donāt ever want to see that!ā FUCKIGN. USOLU MOMENT. SOBBING#I swooned. Iāll be honest I swooned. His sniper skills kicked in and I was like OHHHHHHHH?!!!!! SIRRRR šššš³#Coughs anyway.#One Piece#Shima speaks#Usopp
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if dust takes off his hood and scarf then nobody can recognize him. he has literally no permanent traits that make him recognizable (which actually kinds upsets me because,,,,, there is no physical representation of his character development from sans to dust BUT EAAHHHH whatever,,, we cope with it.) but in like a silly goofy comedic way. it's like perry the playapus ans dr doofenshirmst (incorrect spelling but only by societies standards)
dust with hood down and no scarf
killer: a sans?
he puts on the scarf
horror: a GENOCIDE sans???
the hood goes up
killer: DUST SANS AKA MURDER SANS AKA DUSTTALE SANS FROM HIT AU DUSTTALE?????
horror's skull breaks a second time on the other side from sheer shock
#why use mtt for this example? WHY NOT USE MTT FOR THIS EXAMPLE#heh. buddy pal chummy chum friend you forgot who you're talking to. this is triglycercule pal.#the fella with the name mttmttmtt? the fella who has a pfp and banner of them? the fella whos posts are 78% about them?#heh.... these beta beginners have no idea whos post theyre reading..... šøš² šøš² šøš²..... š«šŖšŖšŖšŖšŖš“šŖ...........#please do not let that previous tag effect your perception of me that was in a satirical way#anyways this ide is so funny. i think if i had more motivation to draw comics this one would absolutely pop off. but i dont#my issue is that majority of the ideas i think of in my head appear in COMIC form#so its either slave away at drawing and burn out motivation or write a post that cant fully encapsulate all my ideas#well of course i'll take the easier route because i'm a lazy prick#BUT STILL. guys if anyone ever wants to steal my content to make a comic or write something or draw something#i give you permission to do so. you can steal my content all you want#as long as you say it was inspired by someone. dont even have to say who.... but you'll know. and i'll know. and that's enough for me#no but on a serious not if someone actually used my shitty tumblr posts as inspiration to draw something i would be SO FUCKING HONORED#the day that happens is the day i ascend to heaven. not because i killed myself tho. i'd go to hell if i did that#i hope someone laughs at these tags because i sure am#it may just be the lack of friends to tell me if i'm funny or not but i consider myself the funniest person. ever#put me up to a stage and tell me to do stand up i'd have everyone chortling#except the crowd has to be my fans#ANYWAYS time to get to work. dattebayo ā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøš¤£šš#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#ohhh is this a hc. absolutely but a really really silly one#often times than not i come up with headcanons and then i proceed not to actually headcanon characters as that. huh#tricule hc
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Just want to say: a, I admire very much that you've figured out a healthy way to work on your fics that allows you to have fun with it. And also b, am very excited to hear that you are getting there with pez! It has fully given me brain rot ever since I read it last year, there is just such a lack of content for the highly specific trope of using time travel as a device to explore extremely unhealthy levels of self loathing.
I just adore everything you're doing in it. Neither midoriya is anywhere approaching okay for any portion of the fic and I love rereading and mining into all the subtle characterization pointing to that. It's a bit like nhtycth in that some really goofy funny stuff is often hiding some really fucking worrying things, but the fact that characters DO do that stuffāthat todoroki uses his teaspoon's worth of extremely stunted social skills to bludgeon his friend's door open and help him, that a rpf shipping war is an actual source of drama despite how goofy the sentiment seems on the surface, that about half of what jon says is deeply worrying and the other half is extremely funny and there's a lot of overlap between the twoāreally lifts the tension and brightens the universe. It's sort of similar to what you did with gerry, in that endless misery isn't nearly as painful as the ups and downs of a life that, when you step back and zoom out, has something deeply and horribly wrong with it.
(jon sort of reminds me of spider-man in that he uses human to deal with trauma and stress, except I don't think he at any point realizes how fucking funny he is. He's just there, in a home depot, gnashing his teeth because he's got so many bodies to dispose of and this cashier sure is taking her time.)
I really, really, really have had trouble finding fics that take everything midoriya has dealt with to task. It's a hell of a thing to live 14 years as a disabled minority, have it heavily shape your existence, and then one day you wake up and you realize you're...not that, or at least, nobody will ever acknowledge you as that again. You've lost all claim to it. Those experiences that shaped who you are? Dust in the wind. 14 years of pain and life might as well be buried in the ground for all the good they do you. Nobody's going to cut you any slack or quarter, you've gotta simply work harder, be better. And now when you do that you get the results you wanted, so that's fine, then. That's good. There was something wrong with the you before, and there's something right with the you now, and if the transition is a little rough, well that doesn't matter, you're the same as everyone else now, so it's your own job to fill in whatever gaps you need to.
I really can't get over how mentally fucked it must be for midoriya to run into quirkless people, run across quirkless issues, and be silently caught between, incapable of speaking his mind and too scared to do so anyway around those he can trust.
Also I should mention, I'm just very excited for bakugou to get back from the gym. He's been there like a year I hope he's getting a good workout in.
Me realizing that itās been a year since pez dispenser debris:
I feel like thereās just this very specific type of grief that Izuku has to grapple with in the span of pez dispenser debris that Iām just obsessed with. Heās sort of silently mourning who he could have been, when 1) he has to present like thereās nothing lost to maintain his secret and 2) the entire world is constantly inundating him with the message that there was nothing lost.
Like. I donāt want to get too deep into it because it risks spoiling things and I do have major plans to continue it (Iāve loved this story for so many years before I ever even hit publish), but the emotion that Izukuās feeling right now is so much more complex than āI hate who I used to be and want him to stop existingā or āI just want to keep my secrets.ā And I think the way he interacts with Mirio is the biggest evidence of that.
Izukuās placed himself at the very center of the Quirklessness debate with his support of Mirio. He fights for Quirkless heroes, very publicly, to the point where heās not even graduated yet but considered to be one of the most prominent voices on the matter. If you took a poll of Quirkless people as to which hero would be most supportive of them pursing their own career in heroics, Izuku would be right at the top of the list. When it comes to Quirklessness itself, heās nothing but supportive.
But he didnāt tell Mirio the truth of his own Quirklessness.
Out of everyone, Mirioās the one everyone expects to know, despite him being a relatively newer relationship compared to someone like Iida or Uraraka or Todoroki. And I tried to imply that heās sort of the one who knows the most about Izuku out of everyone save All Might.
Like, weāll get into how much exactly Mirio knows soon, so I wonāt divulge what, if anything, Izuku has told him. But we know that Mirio knows, weirdly enough, that Izuku is deeply fucking haunted. He knows that boy has many violent ghosts in his bones. He finds it hilarious and will tell their realtor about it. Izuku told him about the discontent spirits who died in a violent passion and live on inside of him before he told him about his Quirklessness.
And I just feel like one of those things is a little bit easier to discuss than the other.
Izuku has decided to keep his own Quirklessness quiet in a way that surpasses secrecy about One for All. If it was just about OfA, he could tell people he didnāt get his quirk until the entrance exam, and it wouldnāt even be a lie. Heās purposefully obscuring his own past as Quirkless even as he takes a forefront of the Quirkless hero debate with his open support of Mirio.
And the fact that heās at the forefront of this debate in and of itself requires a difficult dichotomy. He is the worldās most vocal proponent for the first Quirkless hero. He is a known figure in the Quirkless community now.
He isnāt considered one of them anymore. Heās an outsider coming in.
It must be such a strange, odd sort of grief to come to the people you were home amongst for most of your life and be greeted as a stranger. To return home, and to be welcomed in for the first time, and to not even be able to tell people that youāve lived here all your life and donāt need a tour.
Itās a sort of death of self, I think. And I think Izuku never expected to have to grapple with his own ghost.
#thereās just something so haunting to me about the idea of Izuku being considered just a really enthusiastic ally to the Quirkless community#like Izuku canonically did not have friends#he almost definitely was an /incredibly/ avid member of Internet forums#he probably found comfort amongst other Quirkless people for the first time ever online#and then he grew up#got all mights quirk#became a central figure in the Quirklessness debate#and suddenly found himself popping up on those forums that used to be his only solace as a child#that one hero with all the Quirks who supports the Quirkless#I see Izuku as being a semi controversial figure amongst Quirkless#because he obviously supports them#but heās got quirks to an unprecedented power level and is also used by others against the quirkless community as an example of how far#behind they are in evolution#I feel like he eventually stopped going on those old forums that were his greatest comfort as a child#like I feel like he would feel weird lurking on the forums while they talked about him to him without their knowledge#he would have left to give them privacy away from him#he couldnāt honestly commiserate with them anymore because he was suddenly Quirked anyway#and what must that feel like#that realization that you can never go home again#pez dispenser debris#bnha#update IS incoming im actively working on this fic again#we are so so close people#to this and sgg and nhthcth#god itās been so close for so long#also if you sent me an ask and I never answered it please know I saw it and loved it and started to answer it#which is why I currently have over 150 asks in a state of partial completeness#weāll get there one day
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Harry Kim saying Naomi is lucky to be born on Voyager and that he would have given "anything" to have her life when he was a kid...
#He sees NO downsides????#Also I love how Neelix was yelling and panicked and Harry was like 'haha ok buddy. Hey this little guy is ugly huh~? See ya later!'#absolutely unbothered and not the least bit curious - love him <3#saw someone post about how they don't like 'once upon a time' bc Neelix doesn't tell Naomi right away about her mother .... bro.#c'mon. Anyway I love Neelix and him trying so hard to shield Naomi from bad things / upset bc he KNOWS how fucking painful#it is to lose a family DID make me tear up.#Also Naomi in that burned-down forest (symbolic of innocence?) was a kickass visual. Neelix telling her about his family and Naomi trying#to comfort HIM??? SHE'S SUCH A GOOD KID MAN....Neelix making her a flotter doll was also v cute#OH AND Naomi going 'I Am Borg...' and Neelix going '~??? No you're not~!!!' and Naomi giggling...added NOTHING to the#episode - as it should be!! Sometimes you've just gotta have a really cute silly moment <3#Tuvok: [says something] / Tom: Nice bedside manner Tuvok =_=#Tuvok: [about to say the most beautiful comforting words you've ever heard one parent say to another] And I took that personally.#Love how Naomi is scared of Seven at first...girl that's your roommate.#HEHEH she starts off the series scared of her but by the end she's her little buddy and also her intern#but yeah never forget that Harry Kim can and will say the most unhinged things but so casually that no one will really clock it#NEVER forget that he says he remembers.....either being an infant or his own birth - both WILD to me#Harry Kim lowkey loves destiny and being special and the idea of 'chosen ones' and the narrative even though he will fight it all if it#harms the ones he loves#Harry: (guy from an alternate timeline who replaced the dead Naomi with the alive one from his own) That kid's living the dream <3
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#ryuji suguro#ryuuji suguro#ao no exorcist#blue exorcist#suguro ryuji#suguro ryuuji#manga ryuuji#bon suguro#chapter 63#shimane illuminati arc#i really like this moment and how ryuuji's standing here to quietly guard the door and wait for his moment to go in#he said he'd check on them and it's heavily implied he heard izumo's full breakdown and shouting match#it's likely he heard it at least#their two arcs get a lot of compare and contrast#but i think it's vital to understand that the two of them are coming at their arcs from opposite places#ryuuji goes into his upset because no one will let him in while demanding that he trust them and believe in them when they've shown#they won't do the same with him#rin wants him to trust him blindly but won't repay that trust with his own in them#even to the point that they don't know he can't tell them because he didn't even let them know his father was dead or a problem at all#he's upset at tatsuma refusing to take any responsibility and refusing to talk and refusing to explain why he pushes ryuuji away#and when he does find out the karura story he pushes to be included and leaned upon#he wants most of all to help and be a support to people he cares about#to the point he feels like a failure if they don't need or trust him#he doesn't even know how to live without being needed#izumo is the opposite#she has refused to ever let anyone close enough to need her ever again#because the people who she did hurt her and were taken from her#and she won't let herself be that weak ever again#she despises being needed and pushes against it#she wants purely businesslike relationships
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