#did i mention how much i love shawols?

[bnerdler]

This week has been a really shitty week. This post is mostly just me venting. I'll be OK, im not looking for pity. I have a support system and coping strategies to sort myself out I just need to vent a little.

I moved on Thursday last week from my 1x1 apartment that was slowly draining me of money into my friends townhome which is going to half my living expenses. And that's great and all but my cat has extreme aggression and anxiety problems. He'd been getting medicated for it but he's got such a high drug tolerance that anything we give him we have to double the dosage for it to have the effect that the normal dose would have for a normal cat.

Needless to say, during the move on Thursday he broke out of the room I'd had him and my other cat in while I got my room set up. In the process of getting him back in the room and into the crate, he bit my hand and scratched up one of my roommates. We got him started on a short term sedation drug while we weighed the options over the weekend. He settled down enough to not be so scared he attacks me but just yowls for hours nonstop due to separation anxiety.

The vet thinks he might have a brain tumor which has caused the aggression. Even scared cats don't normally attack their owners. But I can't afford to get him brain scans to diagnose much less treatment if he does. Not to mention the off cha ce that it's not a tumor or that it is but treatment doesn't help. We've decided to drug the hell out of him. We upped the dosage of the anxiety meds he was already on, added in a secondary anxiety drug, and I'm slowly getting the rest of the stuff the vet suggested such as cbd oil, pheromone sprays, and the like. If it says "calming" on it im getting it. Its... only mildly helping so far but we've only been here a week and today is the last day of the sedation drug and we started the new anti-anxiety meds yesterday. I just really hope this works. I hope this is all worth it and gives me a cat that I love being around. That im not scared of. That I'm scared for.

Like on a scale of 1-10 how anxious are you, my cat is constantly living at a 10. He has no quality of living like that. He can't be around other people bc he will attack them. And he's just anxious and scared out of his mind all the time. So if this new action plan doesnt work... well I'll have to euthanize him. And I really really don't want to have to make that decision.

I got the news about all this on Monday and just sobbed for like 6 hours straight. And I still had to go to work.

It's been a shit week at work too. The boss man was having a gout flair up from stress so he's grumpy and in pain which has made him irritable and altogether unpleasant to be around. He's also been really paranoid bc of the stress. We have security cameras in the school which isn't a bad thing, we need to have them. But the fact that he watches the feed, purposely moved the camera over the front desk to monitor everything I do, calls me and asks me what I'm doing when I'm there alone. Like yesterday the spot where my cat bit me was feeling very sore, so I was icing it and he calls me and asks me what happened to my hand. And like it's not like I'm fucking around at work. I do my work I get my shit done. But it's the assumption that I am and that even when I'm alone, I'm still being watched and have to monitor myself. Like I was raised barely reformed jewish. I wasn't meant for this Christian guilt panopticon bullshit.

faked an emergency to go home early last night bc I just could not stand being around the boss man last night. I did not want to take class with him. I was already emotionally at my wits end and was not in the place to deal with him.

It's also the anniversary of my grandfather's passing. So just the reminder of oh yeah I buried my grandfather on this day 2 years ago sucks.

And then also there's the news about moonbin which is hitting me hard too. Like when jonghyun passed I didn't consider myself a shawol (I still dont). But there was a really long time where I couldn't listen to shinee's music. But with astro and moonbin? I've been an Aroha since day one. The day hide and seek came out, I listened to it nonstop. Their music helped me through some really dark times bc it was just impossible for me to be sad while listening to their music. And as shallow as it feels to say it, moonbin was my bias. He was also incredibly close in age to me. He was born only a week before I was so that just makes it hit different. I know that one day I will be able to listen to Astros music again and feel joy but I don't know how long that will take.

And this weekend is my boyfriend and my roommates birthday but I don't know how I'm supposed to go out clubbing with them when all I want to do is stare at a wall and not think. Like my social and emotional batteries are just drained. I really don't want to have to perform being a person. Just for 24 hours I need to turn off. Like you know when a computer is giving you problems? I feel like that like someone just needs to turn me off and then turn me back on after waiting 30 seconds.

It's just all this heavy things this week, all the grief and stress. Not to mention the kids I work with being absolutely off the rails too. They've been pushing every single button. And I just have no patience for it.

And on the one hand I want to channel all this emotion and grief into my writing, on the other hand I just want to not do anything. I'm like any minor inconvenience will set me off crying.

I'm also just living on the razors edge monetarily. I've got no savings, my credit card is maxed out, I've got bills to pay, and I don't get paid enough to cover it all. At the last apartment I was living paycheck to paycheck with barely enough to cover my most pressing bills: rent, utilities, food, gas. I had to put off buying new underwear for like 6 months bc I couldn't even afford the $10 for a pack of the cheap Walmart shit. I've also got some big bills happening right now. With the move I had to break my least which cost me. Getting into the new place I've got food costs bc I finished almost all of my staples before the move. I've got all this shit for my cat. I'm behind on my student loans. I'm behind on my membership for taekwondo. I'm going on a cruise in like 20 days and I need to have money for that. Afterwards is our tournament and I want to compete which costs money that i dont even know if I'll have. I'm just tired of living frugally not because I want to but because I have to.

I'm just tired.

So that's where I'm at lmao.

[blingerkumi]

Warning post! (Hiii guys!)

To go back to my safe blog, please press here! This blog will be self aware so some subjects may be triggering for you!

For those who came from the link, carry along!

I just wanted to make this post to tell everyone that I had decided that the @princessjjongie blog will be a safe space for Blingers and Shawols in case their coping mechanism is seeing their feed like the “event” never happened. That includes any discussion, posts and comments mentioning and suggesting his death will now be removed and will be moved here.

If you want blogs to be aware of his death, then DON’T FOLLOW @princessjjongie. I did not make this blog to be disrespectful or to pretend it has never happened. I made it for people who might be affected from this traumatic situation that may include them getting harassed. I am aware of what’s going on, I just don’t want to talk about it as much due to how triggering it can be.

A lot of Shawols never got to experience being a normal Blinger as a teenager due to the fact that people get treated differently for who they bias. Every post they see would be a tribute, which could be triggering for some people. Some others may had been harassed in their inboxes or direct messages for making posts about him, which is why I chose not to reblog from certain blogs anymore. If you want to see their posts, it will be from this blog instead. Otherwise, I will have a list of blingers/shawols that are ot5/Jonghyun friendly and blog from old SHINee fan accounts made before 2018.

I have a list of words that are censored in that blog so if I don’t reblog your post in my blog, then that would be the reason why. That doesn’t mean I don’t like your posts, I just don’t want to put them in the same blog. I don’t have any beef with anyone, I just want to keep my Shawols and Blingers safe during this fun time.

I hope you guys understand and hopefully this isn’t me trying to be nasty to y’all! I love each and every one of you!

Ok byeeeeee!

[kimcheolwoon]

Aaah you guys are all making me super emotional right now like wow I love you all ^^ shawols are really a wonderful bunch of people and I adore you all so much❤❤❤

[hobaworld7]

Could you maybe write a Shinee reaction about their love languages, like you did for bts? I thought that one was really cute! Thank you! I'm so glad you want to write for them, there's not nearly enough Shinee content on here imo💜

SHINee Reaction - Love Languages

Hello Shawol!! I am so excited to see other fans here. They really are the kings right? I hope you'll love it and don't hesitate to send other requests!

*As I said before, I won't be writing on JongHyun as respect for him*

____

Paring : Reaction x OT4

Genre : Romance - Love Language

Words count : X

Warning : Full of fluffiness! Some mentions of BDSM or kinky things.

Summary : This is how i think SHINee would show their loves to their partner!

A/N : Please show some love and interact with this post so I can continue writing on SHINee, I really enjoyed it!

Disclaimer : SHINee doesn't belong to me. It's just an imagine. I'm a shawol since 2012, I love them really much but this is just fiction!

____

ONEW

As a leader, I feel like Onew would be all into words of affirmation.

Every days, every opportunities, he would text or say how beautiful you are. How proud he is.

He would also dedicate a lot of his free time to be with you.

SUCH A GENTLEMAN.

Always holding your hands and taking cute selfies with you.

''How did I get so lucky? Meeting you was the best blessing in my life, my love."

My love, my baby, my, my, my everything.

I think he will be really sweet with you and in bed too.

Not much of an experimenter, more casual.

Look at you like you are a piece of art.

KEY

All five. He's so caring with all the members, exceptionally Taemin, but you? You are is top priority.

Acts of service, a lot of them. He loves to cook for you and taking care of you. Preparing a warm bath with candles and flowers after a big day.

He would always love to be near you. His head on your thigh while you watch a movie (quality time)

Buying expensive piece of clothes too. He love to dress you in the most fashionista way.

He would love to have you near him on his many project.

He will probably hire you as a personal assistant or something like that.

He's really good at commutating his feeling so there is almost no argument between you.

''YAH YEOBO YOU ARE SO PRETTY WOW!!"

Always so excited to see you.

He's so into kinky shit. Look at his Born to Shine live.

Of course he did it all for you before the performance.

MINHO

He's all into physical contact.

He loves touching you, kissing you and hugging you.

Always his hand on you if you are near him.

Flowers, wine, chocolate, coffee, etc.

Everything you love, you'll have.

He wants you to be happy and to be comfortable when you are at his place so he would do everything for you.

He will always talk openly of your relationship.

He wants everyone to knows that you are his and he is yours.

Sweet during the days. Savage during the nights.

TAEMIN

This is his face when he see you.

''Yah, jinjja, she's really the most beautiful person on earth. Right hyung?'

He would always be so happy whenever you get the chance to spend times together.

He would love to buy you gifts and having romantic diner.

Such a gentleman. Thanks to his Onew Hyung that thought him all.

He love to dance with you and practice when you are in his studio.

He would dance goofily everytime you are sad.

Always letting you choose the movie.

Experimenting. A lot. In bed. Or in public. *wink wink*

I feel like he would be into this bdsm kink and everything HAHA.

____

Hope you like it, i tried to do it the more neutral i could. Thnkyou my love for reading!

CLICK HERE FOR THE MASTERLIST.

[jonghyunar]

i hope you know that you'll never be forgotten and how much you were, are, and will continue to be loved, jonghyun. your smile, laugh, voice, and bright personality never fail to warm my heart, even on the darkest of days. i know you're smiling down on all of us today and even if you're not physically with us, i know we'll never truly be without you. thank you for continuing to inspire me everyday and for spreading love, positivity, and happiness, even from up above.

you did so well, kim jonghyun.

this year has been... tough, to say the least. on top of the mental stress of the pandemic, US election, and personal issues that have come up throughout the past few months, it's been a whirlwind of emotions for me personally. as a shawol though, there have been three beacons of happiness at the very least shining and lighting up the end of this year: the return of jinki, kibum, and minho, and that leading to the reunion of our boys.

i can't put into words how happy i've been to see their interactions, their smiles, their laughter, their cringiness... i think the sentiment minho expressed when jinki made a classic pun / dad joke-esque statement during their first instagram live together summed up a lot of what we were feeling: how much we've missed not only jinki's gags, but just their interactions and them being together. minkey's bickering, their questioning of taemin's everything, and their loving acceptance of onew's sangtae (condition) no matter what he does. the four of them together has given me something to look forward to every morning, to see a new interaction or video or just any sort of news... but at the same time, for me, there's something missing, and that gap is apparent no matter how happy i am to see them all together.

i don't like lingering on your absence, but i can't help but wonder what things would be like if you were still here. would minkey still have enlisted along with jinki? would you have gone with him instead? would there have been more subunits of shinee if you had stayed? how would you have continued to inspire all the younger idols with your music? your love of performing? what would your legacy have grown to be if you were still with us?

three years later and my heart still hurts. of course i put this off to less than 12 hours before i'm supposed to post it, but when gathering these gifs, i found myself watching more ot5 content and missing how you made everyone laugh with your bright, playful personality. your saltiness when anyone brought up your height, your talkative energy whenever you got excited, your hilarious acting on snl... i miss so much about you, jonghyun. and when i got to 2017 and i saw clips of people talking about you, leeteuk's speech in particular when he mentioned shinee in an award acceptance speech... of course it broke me. the feelings of you being gone returning once again made that gap all the more apparent. the reunion that jinki, kibum, minho, and taemin all had earlier this year... i wish it had included you too.

i know you're with the boys no matter what. even when you're not there, you are in spirit; i'm sure that the four of them wouldn't be able to get rid of you that easily anyway, but i guess it just makes me sad that you're not visibly or physically present. you would've turned 30 this year, you would've made so many people's lives all the more brighter by just existing, but of course i know that it is selfish of me to think this way. today, i want to focus on remembering you for what you've done and what you continue to do with your legacy, not what you could've done if you were still here.

regardless of the sadness that comes with this day, i hope you know that you continue to make me and a lot of other people happy. i still listen to your music, i still smile whenever i see a picture or video of you, and i still miss you, jonghyun; i hope you're doing well, wherever you are, and that you know that you're still so loved. thank you for everything.

[pieciublyszczacychchlopcow]

Since we don’t know what will happen with Bird App in the nearest feature, I’ve decided to post my KeyLand in Yokohama report here as well as to not lose those precious memories (in written form, they’re safely burned in my head hopefully forever ^.^).

💎💎💎💎💎

KEYLAND_JAPAN report is here! I will try to write as much as I remember, though tbh I’m still so excited and overwhelmed my memories are a bit of a mess, especially when it comes to which ment came after which song. Anyways, let’s start! But before that, let me tell you one thing: luck with ticketing will come to all Shawols one day, because it surely came to me. When I got to my seat I started crying because arena first row?!? For Kibum’s concert?!? FIRST FREAKING ROW!!!!!!

When Runaway started playing… I can’t describe this feeling, I think the only way it could get better would be during SHINee concert with Shawols being allowed to be loud (well, we were anyway, thank you Kibum XD).

The first notes of the Eye VCR (that’s what I’m going to call it) were nothing when compared with the boom of first notes of Gasoline. The sound during the whole concert was amazing, I could feel every single beat with my whole body. I wouldn’t mind going to Pia Arena for SHINee member concert again for sure. The fire effects were so hot (literally)! No wonder SHINee members are sweating like crazy during concerts, it’s not only choreography but the fire effects and lights are hot. Fire and golden clad Gasoline Kibum though 🥵🥵🥵 He looked like some deity, beautiful and fierce.

Guilty Pleasure was next and that song is fun! I can imagine how amazing it will be with Shawols screaming🔥 For Another Life he went to the second stage and let me tell you, back view of Kibum performing that song was so stunning I didn’t even look at screens XD He went back to the main stage for Yellow Tape and after it ended, the JShawol next to me was like I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH! and I agree, the energy is amazing. Plus the stage was moving up and down so it was really fun to watch.

The MC time. Kibum thanked us for coming even though it was raining, talked about waiting for the concert in Japan for four years and how it was long but at the same time passed in a blink of an eye. He also mentioned again the story about the staff being against Gasoline as opening act because it was like Kamehameha at the start of the fight (Dragon Ball reference) and Shawols were like well, it’s not a lie 😆 He said in the interview he did yesterday (for the dvd?🙏🏻) they asked him how is he different from #SHINee members and he was like umm, whiteness? (cue Shawols screaming because the lighting at that moment really made him look like a porcelain doll) and also his love for talking during MC which he’s really good at imho and also HOW THE HECK IS THIS GUY SO GOOD AT BEING CUTE?!? The kawaii~, kawaii~ shouts were all you could hear after each pouty/smiley/adorable face he did 😆

I think it was before Villain, he joked about him not telling us to shout but if we did, it’s not like he told us to (the whole thing was hilarious but also after that Shawols felt braver and became louder). He also started telling us how he was teaching KShawols the fanchants for Villain but we did it before he even could show us and he was like ‘oh, you already know o.o What a time we’re living in 😏’ Anyways, the G.O.A.T concert’s instrumental arrangement for songs was the best thing ever! He went back to the main stage and performed Show Me and Hologram. Since I Wanna Be release, I dreamt about seeing Show Me live and he performed it! And Hologram needs loud fanchants, hopefully in Osaka there’ll be no more restrictions 🔥

The second part of the concert started with Heartless and dancers introduction. Kudos to them, they were really amazing during the whole concert! Also, I need this song to be released asap, love the rock energy it gives. Kibum changed his outfit and wore the floppy ear white hat (wasn’t it black yesterday?). He was adorable af, performing his musical act of Saturday Night (seriously, the choreo is like from a musical theatre), just to change the mood for more serious and personal with Proud. Btw, all the songs he performed with handheld microphone were showcasing his live vocals so well ❤︎ Next one - Delight. What a change of mood, Kibum all smiley and happily frolicking on the stage. This song really won me over with the concert version. Forever Yours - Kibum sang Soyou’s parts which damn but he can sing high notes!!! I Wanna Be was also delightful with Shawols shouting the ‘shiny’ and ‘bling bling’ pretty loud for a concert not allowing loud cheers 😆

Time for next ment. Kibum talked about Heartless, how it means without a heart, like a zombie or Frankenstein and how this is the feeling of the song. He also talked about how releasing new albums means more and more songs and how it gets harder to choose which ones he want to sing. Oh, I forgot to write how at the beginning of each MC he was drinking a LOT of water, making the funnies faces at us XD At one point he even said ‘I’m worried about Yokohama’s water (supply), I’m gonna drink it all’ 😂 He talked more about food he ate and then made the whole venue laugh with a story of how he went to Shibuya Crossing and went to a new viewing terrace, with his Chanel bag and all but they didn’t want to let him in because of his beanie, so he took it off and his hair was such a mess he can’t post the photo on sns 😂 Still, the view was amazing, worth the orange juice he bought to get a seat 🤣 Kibum also talked about how he cut his hair but it grows fast, how he dyed it blond because he realised he had black hair for the longest time and how hard it was to go back to light colour, how it turned orange at the beginning but now is fine because his hair is healthy (he was literally like ‘Key-kun’s hair is healthy’, cutie). Kibum also said he was happy to have a concert with lots of fans in the audience, the scale difference between Japan and Korea concerts is quite big in this regard (if only screaming and singing with full power was allowed 🥲). I’m not sure if he talked about SHINee in this ment or the next one, but he said Taemin came to visit him during practice and Kibum was like ‘why is this kid coming with nothing, no food, no drinks, nothing’, to which Taem replied ‘oh you wanted food? I can order some’ and Kibum said ‘it’s too late for that!’ He also said that he misses SHINee members since they don’t see each other that often (Taemin and Jinki since the concert in Korea), except for Minho, he saw Minho not long ago so for now he’s ok with not seeing Minho’s face, he will miss him next month XD SHINee is coming next year, Kibum said so!!!

One Of Those Nights acoustic version was beautiful, I need more acoustic songs from SHINee!!! I Can’t Sleep and Imagine back to back closed the cute part of the concert and then it came - Easy VCR!!! I was sitting with my jaw on the floor because trust me, Kibum dancing gently on the biggest screen was something else.

Next part of the concert is kind of blurry in my mind because Kibum in white space alien outfit destroyed my brain and heart. Bound performance during his concert >>>>>> music show performances. I can’t say anything about Helium that hasn’t been said already. Ain’t Gonna Dance on the other hand is pure perfection on stage! This song is sexy and smooth and Kibum’s vocals are chef’s kiss!

During his next MC Kibum did the “which outfit is the best one” quiz again but the results were weirdly interesting since Shawols pretty much screamed for all three equally and some brave soul even shouted ‘we love all of them’ and Kibum was laughing at that, saying that we’re saying that now but as soon as concert ends we will probably say ‘oh, but that outfit is actually my favourite’ XD

Kibum talked about Eighteen, how the song was born because he debuted when he was eighteen and thought a lot about his life and his feeling from that time. He also performed Chemicals after Burn and I loved it but!

But now I need a moment to tell you that Burn is the sexiest mf song in Kibum’s discography and don’t argue with me because when you see him live, his silhouette surrounded by red light and shadows, you will agree with me!

The last song of the main part of the concert was This Life. Kibum said he wondered if he should end with Proud or not but he wanted to end the concert with high energy, with us jumping and enjoying ourselves to the fullest. He joked how he was supposed to say ‘this is the last song of today’ but let’s face it, he’s never been to a concert without encore so he’s not even going to pretend XD He also jokingly said ‘because I’ll be back after two minutes and thirty seconds he needed to change his clothes’😂 This Life left me breathless because when Kibum says jump, I jump!!! It’s a stadium song and I wish he had a chance to perform it for the biggest audience!

During the break before encore they were showing Shawols on the screens and many had amazing slogans, often handmade! One of Shawols was holding printed out photo of chibi Bummie though (the one in the picture) and that got the biggest cheers XD

The encore started with Bad Love and the beautifully changed ending which I need released asap, Kibum please!!! The extended dance part was hot as well (there were extra dance parts in Helium too, I forgot to write). After Bad Love Kibum started to introduce dancers one by one and gosh but they were giddy 😂 The did all kinds of aegyo, all of them! Shawols were laughing so hard at their cute/weird poses and at Kibum who half cried from laughed and half cringed hard and after dancers left he said sth along the line of yeah, you need to be this kind of weird to work with me 🤣 The last song of the day was G.O.A.T. Kibum talked about how this concert, since first till the last song, is one of those greatest things in life and how we are the greatest as well (no, you are!!). Kibum looked so happy he could perform, he walked from one side of the stage to the other, waved at us and sang with the biggest smile. Thank you Bummie for the greatest afternoon ever!

Oh, and also during one of his ments Kibum talked about the lighsticks, he asked if the one not changing color is the old one (he had no idea it is a new merch) and called Shatting Star ‘the one that looks like mike’ 😂 He also told us that his mom has a special room for all SHINee merch and have it displayed like in a gallery. He said ‘mom has it all so if you want to exchange goods just contact her’ 🤣 Shawols were like give us the address please! XD

As for the concerts in Osaka, Kibum said he really wanted to have more opportunities to meet Japanese fans but there were no plans for extra concert before but suddenly the slot opened and he managed to get the venue. UMJ working hard for our SHINee boys 👏🏻

[gaykey]

I’m curious, as an og shawol, how do you think the public perception of each member has changed? Obvs they were diff as they grew up but how were those changes seen by fans and general public? i.e. jjong before and after blue night, tae before/after ace, etc. cuz you’ve mentioned before how key esp has been very open recently. I’m a very new shawol but I feel like I can tell the diff when watching old stuff and reading the comments, for example. just wanted to know ur POV :))

hmm, super interesting question anon, thank you.

tbh, i think my view will pretty much be in line with what you've observed. just the way older things are written about shinee, and the way we talk about them now, shows just how much things have changed.

that's another thing to take into consideration.

i was 15 when i found shinee, and i'm 28 now...so, the fandom as a whole has done a hell of a lot of maturing, for the most part, so, that plays a huge part in how we view the boys.

first of all, on a whole, it's mostly interesting to see the shift from talented new rookies, to industry legends in terms of public perception. like, any article that gets written about them nowadays, always has the words, icons, legends, veterans, and i'm just like? yes, but, when did that happen? idk, it feels like the change was a blink sometimes.

shinee, for the longest time, were still so new, and then, it seemed like after view, they really became industry staples y'know? as opposed to the experimental young group they were before.

in terms of the individuals members, hmmm, i think the influx of new fans really plays a part in how they're perceived.

taemin for example

for years, he was the sweet, but slightly weird, adorable, pretty, but very talented, youngest member. i don't know how to describe it? he wasn't irrelevant by any means - he's always stood out to the public whenever he showed off his amazing dancing - but, i don't think people viewed him as an artist exactly. just another idol.

but, since his solo career really kicked off, and super m and stuff, he's become this icon. this paragon of artistry and sexiness. and it's just, crazy when you look back, just how far he's come, and how differently he's viewed now. especially seeing as a large portion of his fans now, never really go to see his awkward stage, or, like, taemin in proper 'shinee's baby' mode.

he's an icon in his own right now. and, i personally, before the last few years as he's really got a chance to take control of his music, didn't realise the level of his creative mind. like, the ideas he has, and conveys with his music??? it's so weird to compare the taemin of 2012, and the taemin of now, in terms of how he's developed his craft.

he stills shows us though, that more than anything, he's a SHINee member, first and foremost. he loves shinee and being in shinee, so much.

jjong, before blue night, i think, was seen as more of a lady killer type? for a little while there. like, maybe because he was the first (and only to this day) member to have a full on dating scandal, people tended to view him as like, the sexy mature one? at least amongst the general public. he was always seen as someone very into music though. that never changed, that was a huge part of how he was viewed. also, the fact that he loved to laugh, and is also a huge dork, which, is a requirement of being in shinee.

blue night, and his solo career though, expanded on that.

he'd matured a lot over the years anyway, and that showed just in his demeanor, but blue night was so personal and so intimate, that it also showed us just how deeply his emotions ran. people outside of the fandom got to know how soft, sweet and passionate he was. his care for people, causes, and standing up for what he believed in. that wasn't something that was often seen from idols, and i think it made people sit up and listen.

he was definitely taken even more seriously as an artist, producer, and general music lover too. i think he was seen as more than just an idol after that. now, we talk about his heart, and his love for music, and his professionalism to describe him, and that time of his life is a huge reason we do.

that change of public perception and also, fan perception is so important. he became so much more open. we got a view into his world, and it changed everything.

minho, i personally think, is the one that has had such a huge change in how he's been viewed, if we're talking like, from debut to now.

there are always a few jokes about how minho was during debut year, but let me tell you, he never used to speak! he was so stoic. it was borderline awkward most of the time. for a little while, i got the vibe that he didn't even want to be there. and now we know that lee soo man told him to act like that, but when i think of the minho then, and the minho we know now?? it's crazy.

people used to just be like 'oooh, he's so handsome, and so serious, so cool!' but that was it. as soon as he broke out of that character, and was more himself, things changed totally.

i mean, people still thought he was handsome and cool, of course, but also, how loud, and funny and dorky, and SWEET he is, as well as his fierce competitive streak.

i think hello baby was a big help in that. minho's genuine love for kids seemed to come out of nowhere, and it's definitely a huge reason as to why we refer to him as choi 'tenderheart' minho now. he's now known for his way with words, his loving and caring heart, and his passion and talent for almost anything he puts his mind to, and his humility and humbleness. minho is seen as the perfect man. the ideal man, as opposed to like, the cool guy.

and then he got really into acting, and he's so GOOD at it. i couldn't have imagined that from the minho then. he's has such a way with emotions and characters and he's such a professional.

what a change from how he was perceived way back then though! it really blows my mind when i think about it.

jinki, ahhhh

well, there's no denying, that a huge thing for him, was his scandal in 2017. we know about ot4 stans, so, yeah, his image was forever changed for them.

overall though, i'd just say again, that jinki's image ahead matured more than anything. he's taken more seriously as a vocalist now i'd say, and more recently as a entrepreneur??

i've already spoken a lot about kibum.

also, his stint on sea of hope made a lot of people fall in love with him i think. his sweet, polite, caring, and soft demeanor (something that's already well established amongst fans) reached a wider audience. plus, more and more people are talking about how unique is vocal is now. it's lovely to see.

he's always been known as the quiet, and kinds goofy, but yeah, i think he comes across as more of a pillar? like, his strength and reliability is spoken about a lot.

he's way more open now. he's always been very direct about what he wants and thinks, but, it's just, more now.

kibum's public perception and fan perception are always so interesting to think about though.

as has been said since the very beginning, he tends to come across as cold, and blunt at first. he's never quite been able to fully shake this image, but as fans know (and those that get to know him better through amasat and ila and other shows) he's actually so soft and sweet and warm, and caring.

he's more than the pretty sassy diva now amongst fans. i mean, he's still that too, but fans look beyond that now. his creative mind and talent are something that people take way more seriously with him. the very fact that all of us had such high expectations with his comeback, shows just how highly he is regarded.

i think key is seen as like, a true entertainer and professional now, by the general public. like, he just, has that all-rounder status. he's good at everything, and you expect a high standard of quality when it comes to anything he does now.

whew, this got long, and i'm hungover af, so i apologise if i rambled a bit, or didn't make total sense lol.

thank you for this message anon x

[what-if-nct]

i have a confession again-

the first few times we chatted, wasn’t me… it was my friend…

*le gasp*

alright, so the time that i was talking about the phone case and also the story wasn’t actually me. in fact, the reason why my friend pretended that i was speaking was because he felt like his presence was cursed.

meaning if he spoken to you in his actual account, he felt like you may hate him and then ignore him like what a lot of people do online.

he hasn’t been feeling good ever since that discord chat with the person telling him that he was a bad shawol and now his confidence level went low as well as his mental health as the situation just gets worse. he’s recovering now by the way and would like to chat to people like a kpop buddy.

he’s really sweet and he often thinks about others first instead of himself. he loves to dance to kpop songs in his room and write his stories on his phone. he’s really creative and is very passionate about nude art. so much that drawing nude art of jonghyun gives him joy and peace. he’s also practicing realism so he could confidently share it with people, mainly those he knew. which was the reason why he made a jonghyun drawing account where he could show me and his friends some art he has been trying to do and since he felt like tumblr was more like a nice space for artists, he would try to add some hashtags so he could find more likeminded people, but it only ever showed up some judgemental people.

also, he does make a little NSFW art as well which was mainly something he does for fun because he always wanted to make it ever since he learned about rule 34 and all that, but he didn’t know how to label his account as nsfw and even if he could, his friends may not be able to access the blog.

you may or may not know the blog’s name but due to the fact that he wants to keep himself private and doesn’t want anyone to blast him out on the internet, i think i would rather dm you the name. but yeah… he has been harassed for making art when really it was a coping mechanism for him. he likes nude art wether it’s rule 34 or not he has always had a passion for making something like that. now, his blog is now privated due to the amount of harassment he has received but he does show me some of his art in dms from time to time but since you cannot make a group chat since that has been taken off years prior (i believe), that’s why he made a blog, and plus we (including him) were new to tumblr which is why we didn’t know which hashtag to use so we would used literally everything that describes the picture such as #kpop #jonghyun #shinee and etc. people had rudely told us to not over tag our posts and due to the nature of their asks, we literally backfired back at them with some of my friends telling them that he’s new to tumblr and doesn’t understand how it works yet.

but he’s fine now and he even changed his url due to privacy in his name. he doesn’t want to be involved in anything and rather stick to his own fans on wattpad since that is his safe place.

if you’d like i could send you his url so you can chat with him and if he asks who are you, just say that i sent you because you’re a mutual. it may take him a while to open up (especially on social media) but trust me he’s so sweet and i promise that you’ll be such a nice friend to him!

frick- don’t know if i mentioned it but he was the one who was talking about the bling bling phone case which was few weeks ago so i don’t expect you to remember but yea… that was actually his art and not mine. although he did asked if i wanted one as well. (that’s how cute he is heheh-)

It really suck his experience in the fandom has scared him away from interacting with fandom. It wasn't fair for other fans to attack for miss tagging. Especially since you were new. I had a blog with a friend and she would over tag and we got kind of mean messages. And it sucks like she was just tagging as appropriately as she could, I honestly undertag cause I hate tagging I'm to the point if I can just put Haechan or Hendery thats all I'm going to do. I don't even like adding incorrect nct texts\quotes. And there is beautiful in nsfw are and if it makes him happy it genuinely isn't hurting anyone and he shouldn't be made to feel bad for it. And I would never ever ever ignore someone or turn anyone away unless someone is mean. Even then I'd still try to communicate. So he shouldn't feel afraid to talk to me. And he sounds like a wonderful person and if he'd like you can give me his url and tell him to come by anytime he wants oh by the way @hyunjins-fat-gf is my main blog so if that blog follows you, it's me. She is me I am her

[nctsjiho]

Relationship with: SM artists

For JiHo’s relationship with NCT check out the pinned post on my blog. By no means are these all SM artists or is this very detailed and my knowledge in some of these groups is also very limited so please bear with me. If I wrongly represent anyone now or in the future feel free to let me know, but keep in mind all of this is purely fictional.

Super Junior:

Oh dear Lord help poor JiHo

She’s the victim of endless teasing from Super Junior

Since JiHo is pretty sociable she got quite comfortable with SuJu

They might not hang out a lot but whenever they see the girl they’ll approach her to at least greet her (and vice versa, of course)

SuJu also love to bring JiHo up during variety shows to tell a funny episode they had with the girl and “expose” her

Eunhyuk is a bit like an older brother to her, during her trainee days she once walked up to him asking him if he could critique her dancing. He was surprised at how bold she was and could only agree with her because she was so intriguing. He thought JiHo was a great dancer and since that time they became really close, even having each other’s phone numbers and JiHo having Eunhyuk on speed dial. When she was still under-age Eunhyuk became her guardian (not legally) since she has no family in Korea

Red Velvet:

They aren’t really close with each other for a few reasons (nothing bad though)

JiHo joined SM just after Red Velvet debuted and since the group was very busy with promotions and practice JiHo rarely got to see them

Though JiHo was very talented she didn’t have that much training and she was still a little too young when SM thought of adding another member into the group, Yeri had joined Red Velvet in march of 2015 which was clearly an amazing choice

SM also thought, pretty early on, that JiHo wouldn’t be a great fit for the group’s concept and overall look so they quickly stopped considering JiHo to become a Red Velvet member

Even after years passed, JiHo didn’t really get much closer to most of the members, but she respects them a lot as artists

Out of the whole group she’s probably closest with Seulgi and Wendy, who kinda see her as a little sister they want to take care of

Wendy checks up on JiHo every once in a while through text or invites her out to have dinner and drags Seulgi along with her

They look out for her and tease her a lot when it comes to being the only female member of NCT

“You need to be surrounded by a bit more oestrogen every once in a while, JiHo.” ^^

They will give her advice or just try to cheer her up when they catch the younger girl looking a bit stressed

JiHo would love to do a dance cover with Seulgi sometime in the future

SHINee:

Honestly who doesn’t love SHINee?!??

I’m not saying JiHo is secretly a Shawol, but I am saying SHINee is one of the groups that introduced her to kpop

She always had (and still has) so much respect for the group and they are probably the reason she accepted the scout’s request to come to Korea to become a trainee at SM

A possibility to debut under the same company as SHINee?? YES MA’AM

She has a very friendly relationship with the boys

Saying hi in passing or making small talk whenever they end up in the same elevator

Maybe even went to get something to eat together in the company cafeteria, but besides that there isn’t very much interaction

Taemin has mentioned her a handful of times after SuperM formed since he’s in the same group of some of JiHo’s members now

It usually about how he thinks JiHo’s really cute definitely during her trainee days when she was a little shy towards SHINee or that she’s a really great dancer/performer

Fans have wanted Key & JiHo or Minho & JiHo interactions for a while now, thinking they would make iconic duos (because chaos-), but some other fans have mentioned how she and Onew would make for a great duo because the girl tends to gravitate to the calmer members in NCT more often as well

EXO:

Well Kai is her idol so...

A lot of teasing once again

Though funnily enough, some EXO members seem to be intimidated by JiHo or act awkward around her

JiHo has been pretty open about being an EXO-L and so many fans poke fun at EXO about them being awkward around the girl (they have adopted her into the fandom and she’s pretty well received there)

“She just has this aura around her~”

MTL to feel intimidated by/awkward around JiHo:

Most: Sehun, Suho & Kai

Least: Chen, Baekhyun, Xiumin (EXO-CBX ^^) & Lay (EXO-M <3, the former Chinese members were also not really awkward around her)

Not at all: Chanyeol & D.O.

JiHo’s fans are sad that her and Kai are so awkward around each other and blame EXO and NCT (mainly those in SuperM) for teasing Kai so much by mentioning JiHo looks up to him, that now he can barely look her in the eyes

People have also pointed out how funny it is that Kai and Sehun are especially intimidated by JiHo, comparing them to big dogs being scared of a little puppy (wait this is cute)

Chanyeol and D.O. get along very well with JiHo, Chanyeol mainly being kind of a big brother for JiHo, but a big brother who likes making fun of her and embarrass her

JiHo mentioned the group a lot in her first year of being an idol, after that she kind of stopped (theory: she got told of by SM for talking about EXO too much after getting a lot of mean comments from antis ＞﹏＜)

Interactions between her and the group have also been insanely spares since mid 2019

(another theory: fans think that JiHo isn’t allowed to talk/interact with EXO anymore)

She has only mentioned EXO members when talking about SuperM, but it was mainly to support the group’s promotions

#Bring_Back_JiHo_X_EXO_2021

SNSD/Girl’s Generation:

NCT has teased JiHo before saying that she’s scared of SNSD

She defended herself by telling everyone that it’s because they are her seniors and she really respects them so she tends to get nervous around them 

Some of the members of the girl group have mentioned JiHo before and said they hung out a little

Hyoyeon has been very expressive about her fondness for the girl

She even said that she wanted JiHo to join her when she participated in Hit The Stage

It didn’t end up happening because the kind of dances she did where either “too mature” or “unfortunately we didn’t get permission (from SM) to let Jiho join”

Hyoyeon has posted some pictures with JiHo on instagram, either cheering her on during NCT promotions or just because they were casually hanging out

JiHo also really likes Sunny and Taeyeon and has been invited by the girls to attended their concerts a few times now

On the outside it looks like they have a very strict senior-junior relationship, but every once in a while the group tells them how they are actually closer to JiHo than people think, they just don’t have very many opportunities to show it

They also do NOT tolerate any hate towards JiHo (definitely from those who comment on her not deserving to be in a boy group or her skill as an idol in general) and WILL defend her and shoot down any comments

Aespa:

She trained with a few of the girls for a little while

But when it got announced that JiHo would be joining NCT instead of a girl group, she started training with the boys (NCT and trainees who’d join NCT)

Some fans speculated that JiHo and Aespa weren’t on good terms, but there was no evidence to back up their theories

More so, it was even revealed that JiHo knew the choreography for “Black Mamba” during a V Live

JiHo has openly supported the group by talking about their debut song and stages, but there aren’t really any other interactions between them

BoA:

A collab between them would be LEGENDARY

When BoA visited NCT during their practise of Black on Black during the filming of Master in The House, she pointed JiHo out and complimented her for being able to be as powerful as the boys

JiHo looks up to BoA very much and during a variety show has revealed that she used to practise a lot of her songs/dances while she was a trainee

It happened a few times that the singer has expressed her faith in the younger girl’s potential and skill and hopes that JiHo will get to show of more of her talent because “Currently, I think she’s not able to show all her skills. She’s a junior I am able to trust to deliver (a great performance) if I asked her to work on a project with or for me.”

BoA’s comments about the younger girl only solidified the theories that SM is suppressing JiHo’s talent

JiHo has spoken out about it very subtly, saying that she’s happy where she is now as long as she gets to keep performing with the boys

In response to an international fan asking if JiHo ever thought about branching out to work on a solo project like a mixtape or even just solo dance videos to show of her choreographing skills:

“It makes me genuinely happy to perform with my friends right now. I think I still have a lot of learning to do. If ever my company reaches out to me to do something like that I will think about it, but I don’t really feel the need for anything like that right now. I’m happy (with the way things are) right now.”

[tohokuu]

im sorry if you got any hate for the whole jjonghyuned thing, especislly after very clearly explaining what you meant. as someone who's been a shawol for 8ish years and has biased jonghyun since the beginning, it's really sad that people can't mention his name without others instantly assuming it's about his passing.

it's sad he's gone and it's a loss i don't think the kpop community will ever fully get over, but that doesn't mean we have to act like that's all he ever was. he's still allowed to be someone who makes people smile, or laugh, or cry, especially when it's something as funny and iconic as him being the kpop equivalent of a rickroll.

i'm so curious walked so feel like a cinderella naega pyeonhae could run.

it was only like 3 asks and i’m pretty sure 2 of them were the same person so it doesn’t bother me as much. i explained myself and i know what i did. mistakes and misunderstandings are bound to happen at some point.

no one will truly get over jonghyun. i definitely won’t and i didn’t even know him back then. but like i’ve said in so many asks before this one, he’s not someone you should remember in a tragic way. he’d never want that. all we can do is acknowledge what he went through and understand his pain.

and yes, i think the jonghyun rick roll is incredibly iconic 😭 that’s actually how i got to know him ! and i fell in love instantly. he was so cute and adorable to me in all the videos that i came across. i love that the rickroll is something that so many newer fans know him as.

AND PFJSJF LMAOO THE END

I quote yeonjun at school on a daily and then i quote jonghyun during lunch hour 😞 it’s on my mind all day, everyday

[shawoluvs]

~check in tag~ I was tagged by the lovely @anyhao, and this is super cute so thank you~~

why did you choose your url? I chose my url because I am a Shawol and a Reveluv! At the time I'd been through several urls based on eras/songs and they only worked for a short while so I wanted something more permanent and SHINee are my ults while Red Velvet is the first girl group I really started following so here we go~ I actually have a list of other fandom combo names for urls though just in case~

do you have any sideblogs? I do indeed because I am one of those people who has to divide my interests in order to not get overwhelmed by them~ I have a general multifandom/literature/personal blog @lonesplendour and an anime/manga blog @kimitokara~

how long have you been on tumblr? A long time, like maybe 10 years???? I really got into tumblr when I was in my early teens 'cause other social media (idek if I count tumblr as social media pffttt) just wasn't cutting it. I've been on like all sides of tumblr at this point like rpgs, chaotic mess blogs, book blogging etc. etc. But most of those blogs no longer exist. Only one of them kinda does and I've not been able to access it for literally years 'cause I canny get into the email it's attached too and my 100000000000 attempts to get tumblr to help me out with it (like I literally once asked them to just like shut it down if I couldn't access it but no luck there) has just never worked so... that's fun...

do you have a queue tag? Nope~

why did you start your blog in the first place? As much as tumblr can be a mess I do really like it as a platform for seeing great content for my interests so basically when the blog mentioned above was no longer accessible (it's so maddening too like I just can't remember the password and I can't set a new one 'cause it's an old email I also can't access?????) I decided to make this one anndddd for a while this was a similar like multifandom, anything goes blog, but then I divided up after a while.

why did you choose this profile picture? I wanted a profile picture that related to my url and in my head it was so cute 'cause I was going to have this whole colour scheme like SHINee themed and have a header and icon that matched and then after hours of trying to make all these things I got tired and was just like "yes this version will do" and there we have it~~~ Like I don't hate my icon (my girls with SHINee lightsticks, what's not to love???) but it's just not... edited well... at all ejhrgbejrge but sometimes there's a vision and sometimes you create it and other times you sail right past it and wonder how you lost yourself on this other thing but no longer have the patience to try again so you settle for where you ended up and that's my icon right there.

why did you choose this header? ^same as above.

whats your post with the most notes? I went to check and it's this one. Which really just proves people are thirsty for Taemin.

how many mutuals do you have? Imma count. 96 on this blog specifically! Which is quite a lot actually, that's really nice~

how many followers do you have? 405 on this blog~

how many people do you follow? 266 pfffttt which honestly makes my mutual number even nicer 'cause it means like 1/3 of the people I follow are my mutuals~

have you ever made a shitpost? Tons. Strange of you to think I make much of anything else, honestly.

how often do you use tumblr? Pretty much daily. I don't necessarily actively reblog and post original content daily but I tend to do a daily check in of sorts~

have you ever had an argument or a fight with another blog? Not really though anons have tried to pick fights with me particularly on my anime blog, it's not something I really take seriously, it was generally ship drama and was so random like... good times honestly

how do you feel about ���you have to reblog this” posts? someone telling me I have to reblog something immediately puts me off honestly, I know that's childish or whatever but like if it's important or something I like/care about I'll reblog it without the guilt so...

do you like tag games? Yesssssss~~~ so again, thank you for this tag~

do you like ask games? I do! I think ask games can be very cute but I don't do them that often, mainly 'cause I get embarrassed if I don't get any asks from it but equally if someone I follow is doing one I'm like "I can't send them an ask, that's so embarrassing!!!" so in other words, yes I do but also I am terrible at the whole concept

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I'm not sure how to measure tumblr fame, like is that by followers or...... cause honestly quite a few of my mutuals seem to have a lot of followers (as they should, they're lovely) but I also just don't know, I don't tend to ask them or know that about them because I don't care??? The whole followers thing isn't a big deal to me... notes on content on the other hand hahaha likeeeeeeeeee support content creators thanking you

do you have any crushes on any mutuals? No??? I mean ejhrbgjee I don't really know most of my mutuals very well (honestly 96 is nice but also like 96 people ejhgbjerge that's a lot for my anxiety to process, I've barely said two words to most of them, seriously I'm so sorry, it's not you it's me, you're all great) but also in general I've not had a genuine crush on anyone in........................................ years? so... fun times

I'm going to tag a few of my lovely mutuals, though obviously not all of them 'cause ejhrgbjere that's a lot, but anyway pls participate if you like and apologies again for probably never having even said hi to you~ @userseokkie, @lilbubtaemin, @eternallys, @joshriku, @babyseulgii, @fourseascns, @atinyhater, @ncityzen, @haechsan, @solaarflaree

[moonlight--cafe]

@just-a-random-shawol

Hello again, here is your mixtape ship! Thank you for requesting it, I had a lot of fun doing this one. But I just have to say it now you have such good taste in music, it sounds weird but I felt so at peace with the world listening to your music it just felt so right. Anyways enough of that, onto your ship. I hope you have a good day and I will try and complete the rest of your ships soon.

~SuperM~   Taemin 

~General Analysis~

Never have I found a playlist that accurately describes a persons personality, seriously! I know I just did an overall ship for you but I think I’ve come to fully understand who you are as a person thanks to the list of songs you’ve sent  me. I know you may have forgotten which songs you mentioned in your request so I’m going to mention them here, it would make much more sense for you to know what songs you sent in. 

Heaven- Taemin

Mirage- BTOB 4U

Forbidden Island- Ha Sungwoon

Love Killa- Monsta X

When- Samuel Seo 

Memoirs- Gwangil Jo 

Life Sucks-  HA:TFELT

Circle- Golden

G+Jus Freestyle- Justhis

Now, the fact that you have Heaven on your playlist isn’t what drove me to shipping you with Taemin. Whether you realise it or not there is clear substance to all of these songs, if we temporarily put the addictive flow of the songs aside there is an overarching theme that still connects these songs to one another: Drive. There is an intense amount of passion inserted into the lyrics, it doesn’t matter what the lyrics discuss each artist is reciting them with all their heart and soul.  This was the motivation that I needed to choose your couple song, whether you acknowledge it by it’s sexual nature or not it is still holds power.

The idea of ‘Drive’ links back to an aspect of your personality that stuck out to me, you didn’t have to say it but from what I’ve gathered there is an underlying sense of passion that encourages you to explore various aspects of life and death.  The theme of this ship was determined by your playlist and your description, the combination of white, grey and black illustrates the emotion present in your playlist and I feel that it is a suitable visualisation of the relationship you would have with Taemin. The theme is essentially my way of saying that you and Taemin would share a very intense relationship, it would be impossible for the two of you to initiate a relationship while remaining half-hearted about the whole situation. Taemin strikes me as a person who takes commitment seriously, he would have to be very desperate for him to have a no-strings-attached type of relationship. If we broke it down to the internal workings of your relationship with him you can see how strong it really is, externally the two of you seem quite mature in the way that you view things and how you come together as one, this results in your relationship appearing elevated above your standard relationship. The relationship just screams god-like, rich in nature and light academia. 

White is a colour used a lot in the moodboard, this was purposely done. White is normally given the reputation of being a passive colour that is primarily used for mixing. It is a common colour that isn’t really used for it’s purities unless highlighting or painting on a coloured canvas. In this instance white represents d the deep connection you have with Taemin. You are both insanely godlike in nature, while you both appear to be perfect there is self-realisation in the dark sides of your personalities, you also acknowledge all the wrongdoings that occur outside of the relationship. This doesn’t negatively effect the two of you instead it strengthens what you have, you can’t have light without darkness and through honesty and passion the two of you would come together and create a brilliant world where respect is given to both parties and where the two of you can express all of your creative thoughts and opinions. The world is your canvas and you and Taemin are fellow artists, there is strength in that peaceful analogy. 

~Moodboard~

~Your Song~ 

 ~Shufflemancy Reading~ 

Just for your love, yeah, I'll Give you the world Mona Lisa's smile Hey (oh, oh, oh, oh) And I'll do 25 to life If it makes me a king A star in your eyes

Guilty or innocent

My love is infinite, I'm giving it. 

[jasonskysys]

Week 9 - Fandom

Fandom is the state of being a fan over someone or something but in the case, I will be touching on fandom towards celebrities regardless they are singers, dancers or bands. Although I personally have almost zero experience with fandom, I can still see why certain group of people are obsessed with who they like and what they are doing. There's nothing wrong with it when you're trying to support someone just because you love the songs they wrote or just their personality, but if you're going overboard with it and starts to influence people around you, the person you're support will sure be upset too. Being the most powerful fandom - a south Korean boy band, BTS, according to MTV (2018), has achieved a global success with two consecutive number 1 albums on the billboard charts, a sold-out world tour, and a historic stadium show at citi field in which had over 40,000 fans in attendance. They named their fan base ARMY just like Beliebers for Justin Bieber, Swifties for Taylor Swift and Arianators for Ariana Grande (Ross, 2020). This creates a bond between fellow celebrities and their fans indirectly.

Impact of social media towards Fandom

In the presence of social media, there is also where fans will be able to get an update on what their idols are doing. But through social media, there are always pros and cons. Are these fans being too extreme and weird? One of the example for pros is that sometimes ‘Emotional support K-pop boys’ can help fans with their mental health (Yeo, 2021). He or she will be able to motivate their fans to do better and aim bigger in their lives. Laffan is from the National Anti Bullying Center at Dublin City University stated that Emotional attachment to an idol can be fairly healthy too. Although it might sound ridiculous but some fans are really living for their idols.

Way back in 2017, Jonghyun from SHINee had passed away at the age of 27 and according to BBC (2017), the hashtag #YouDidWellJonghyun and #StayStrongShawols went viral on Twitter (shawols is the term what fans of SHINee called themselves) as they have come together to pay tribute on social media.

Yes Spread Love but...

Through this, fans can unite as one and continue to spread love just because they have so much love towards the same idol. But here also comes the cons of it. For example, some might be expressing their negative sides on social media too. Especially when their idols passed away or found out actually taking drugs, they might act differently and somewhat being over extreme on social media platform. This negative energy will then influence everyone else that have the same thoughts on the incident and some might try to hurt themselves or commit suicide due to disappointment or when they are not able to accept the fact. Dam-young (2017) stated that an Indonesia fan attempts suicide following the death of Jonghyun. As mentioned by the fan who attempted to suicide in her Twitter post that she had lost both her parents and now her idol, she is thinking of giving up her life instead.

Extreme? "Weird"? Social Media Abuse?

Some extremist might even post pictures of them hurting themselves on Twitter or Facebook just to let the community know how upset they were and how important this idol is to them. This is totally against the law as some other people that are thinking of committing suicide might have really done it after seeing someone with similar experience had already done so, therefore following on attempting suicide.

Fandom Wars

Another effect of social media is that fans tend to abuse social media by using it to leave hate speech on posts by other celebrities that they either don't support or their competition such as the rivalry of EXO-Ls and VIPs in 2015 according to Koreaboo (2018). They often compare to each other and argue which is better.

This really creates a bad trend on the social media as you're scrolling your new feeds, you see hate speeches everywhere, attacking, insulting each other. It acceptable to support who you love but don't hate because they are your rivals. In fact, some of these groups are from the same entertainment company and are good friends, so why should fans hate each other for no reason at all. Fans get raged when their group did not win any awards and get jealous when other groups won the title and start backlashing them through social media behind screens.

Conclusion

So is fandom normal? Are they extreme and "weird"? According to Arzadon (2020), there is nothing wrong with fandom culture and to be a fan of someone or something but most importantly there are still standards of behavior that needs to be met and understood by everyone involved. We shouldn't be over obsessive, violent and bully because in the end, everyone is still a person that needs to live a normal life.

Lastly, is fandom a beautiful thing?

Yes!

Is it dangerous?

Yes!

List of References

Arzadon, L., 2021. Is Fandom Culture Bad?. [online] The Tower. Available at: <https://sbadamsthetower.com/4622/ae/arts-entertainment/is-fandom-culture-bad/> [Accessed 9 May 2021].

BBC News. 2017. Jonghyun fans take comfort in 'pearl aqua Moon' images. [online] Available at: <https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-42436476> [Accessed 9 May 2021].

Dam-young, H., 2017. Indonesian fan attempts suicide following Jonghyun‘s death. [online] Koreaherald.com. Available at: <http://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20171221000714> [Accessed 9 May 2021].

Koreaboo. 2018. 6 Biggest Fanwars In K-Pop History That We’re Thankful Are In The Past. [online] Available at: <https://www.koreaboo.com/lists/kpop-history-remember-biggest-fanwars/> [Accessed 9 May 2021].

MTV. 2018. ARMY: Inside The World's Most Powerful Fandom - | MTV. [online] Available at: <https://www.mtv.com/video-clips/romgsq/army-inside-the-world-s-most-powerful-fandom> [Accessed 7 May 2021].

Ross, A., 2020. The best fandom names in pop. [online] Planetradio.co.uk. Available at: <https://planetradio.co.uk/hits-radio/entertainment/music/pop-fan-nicknames/> [Accessed 7 May 2021].

Yeo, A., 2021. ‘Emotional support K-pop boys’ help fans with their mental health. [online] Mashable SEA. Available at: <https://sea.mashable.com/social-good/11974/emotional-support-k-pop-boys-help-fans-with-their-mental-health> [Accessed 8 May 2021].

[maliciouslycreative]

A totally fake-sounding story of how stupid I am at flirting, fake dating, and kpop

My life is for the most part a series of weird coincidences that once strung together sound entirely fake but I swear to god they are real.

Back in the early 2000s I found a lot of fame in the Beyblade fandom. I wrote a popular fic, it was pretty rad. One of my oldest and dearest friends from YGO once asked if she could introduce me to one of her friends who was apparently a HUGE fan of my writing. And I was like “absolutely” and that was the start of things with me and J. We got exceptionally close. Honestly I know I’m aro but the love I felt for her might be the closest I’ll ever feel to being in love.

Things were complicated though, we lived in different countries and were both in high school. We were super close friends and flirted a lot, everyone noticed. Our friend wrote poetry about us. Yes I still have some of that poetry saved somewhere. Everyone in the fandom shipped us and honestly we did talk about how if we weren’t in different countries and in high school that we would be together.

In my senior year of high school I had this biology teacher that enjoyed making us do a lot of group projects. There was another girl in my class that we weren’t really friends but neither of us had friends in the class and we didn’t mind each other so we always grouped up. Unfortunately we needed to do groups of 3 or more for this one project so this random guy in the class ENTHUSIASTICALLY volunteered to be in our group. Neither of us knew who he was but whatever we could survive some weird guy for one project. We exchanged emails so we could exchange notes easily. Except when I got home I noticed the guy had added me to MSN messenger. Ok sure, he probably just wanted to discuss something about the project. Except he didn’t. He wanted to talk to me about anime. Which… I guess? I mean there were not a lot of anime fans when I went to high school, it was distinctly not cool in 2005. 

I spent the next few weeks being mostly weirded out by this guy but he seemed harmless so I kind of talked to him intermittently. And then came the day before Valentines Day. He asked me what my plans were to which I responded that I was spending it with a good friend whose birthday was February 14th. He then proceeded to ask me what kind of flowers I liked and I was like “uhh I’m allergic to flowers so I guess fake ones?” And then I mentioned this to my one friend and she was like “OH MY GOD, STACEY. HE IS TRYING TO ASK YOU OUT.” And I was like “what? No, that’s………… fuck” so I had to in a panic tell the guy to not get me flowers and that I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. 

He seemed ok with this. But like any mediocre white man it didn’t stick. He proceeded to talk to me a lot about his favourite anime and how it’d make him cry. His favourite anime was Ayashi no Ceres. For those of you not familiar with it, it’s a series written by Yuu Watase that tells the tragic story of a selkie that was bound to a human man and they died tragically so they were cursed to forever reincarnate as fraternal twins in this one family’s bloodline. So yah, he’d cry to me over an anime about incest. Like yah it’s a great series but you’re not gonna woo someone by telling them how much it makes you cry.

I’m not sure who came up with the plan, my fandom “older sister” or J herself but eventually we decided the only way to get rid of him was if I had a girlfriend and J enthusiastically agreed to be her. So when he finally did outright ask me out I got to be like “sorry man, I have a girlfriend in the US.” He absolutely lost it. Was very upset and thought she was fake. I had to bring J into a chat and be like “yes, this is my loving girlfriend.” He told me how disappointed in me he was and how he didn’t think I was “that kind of girl” whatever that means. 

He didn’t speak to me for an entire year after that. I ran into him randomly at university and he asked me “did you really have a girlfriend or were you just saying that to let me down.” And I was like “excuse you? Yes, I had a girlfriend and we are still together now. What gives you the right to ask something like that?” And he got upset about it again and I’ve never seen him since. 

J and I were sort of together for a couple years. Nothing serious, just some casual flirting. I sent her a care package once full of chocolate. We both knew neither of us were ready to move across the continent for the other but we still loved each other deeply. When I started dating my abusive ex we were still friends. I got to meet up with her one of the times I visited the US. Like most of my fandom friends I lost contact with her in 2009 after my fandom big sister passed away. It hurt a lot to be in that space without her. My abusive ex also did a good job of isolating me from everything. I did briefly reconnect with her for a bit afterwards but it’s been a while since I’ve talked to her. 

To detour back to the fake dating, there’s another parallel story. So when I told one of my other friends about this, A, she was like “oh, well if you need another fake girlfriend I would be willing and I mean we only live like 5 and ½ hours apart.” And my stupid ass was like “oh of course! I’ll keep you in mind.” This girl who had the patience of a saint with my stupid ass. She started calling me “muffin” one night and I was like “why are you calling me muffin?” and she was like “because it’s cute” and I was like “ok but I feel like I need to give you a food nickname now…” but my brain short circuited. I couldn’t think of anything cute in turn and made a terrible comment about calling her porkchop. And this girl, bless her heart, told me I could call her porkchop. So for several years we went around calling each other Muffin and Porkchop. It took me almost a decade to figure out that she was FLIRTING with me. I have no contact with her any more so I can’t even apologise. 

So here comes to the kpop and how I stumbled into it. I had my sisters over for a movie night in 2018. While waiting for our food to cook somehow we wound up watching K/DA POP/STARS among some other stuff. But this planted the seed in my sister's mind and she descended into kpop hell. I’m sorry not sorry. She mostly got into girl groups and we let her gush to us about them. But then she found it, Lucifer by SHINee. This song is an absolute bop and the clothing was absolutely tragic. We were in love with it. Something always haunted me that I knew this song though but something was just not 100% right so I couldn’t figure it out. 

Lockdowns happened and we couldn’t do our regular family get togethers. However where we live if you were a family of 4 or less you can adopt into your bubble a single person that lives alone, just so that people that live alone aren’t so isolated. So once a week I’d go over to her place and we’d do supper together. Neither of us like do anything other than go to work and grocery shopping and the occasional shopping for other essentials. Anyway when I’d be at her place we’d often listen to her kpop playlist. It was a little more bubblegum than what was really my taste but I was starting to get a taste. 

Then my shit brain did what it always does and comes up with a cursed fic idea that involved everyone listening to kpop. I dove head first into kpop. I have learned so much in the last two weeks. It started with SHINee and branched out. One of those things that I discovered with SHINee though was that they recorded a lot of their songs also in Japanese. And then I found the Japanese music video to Lucifer and it was like someone plunged a knife deep into my heart and twisted. 

J was into SHINee. She tried to get me into them in 2011, right around the time we fell out of contact. We were both really big into jpop and jrock back then and she was right, I LOVE that song. So somehow I narrowly avoided becoming a shawol in 2011. I don’t know how I didn’t honestly. Probably has to do with my abusive ex. A lot of stuff from that time period is honestly a blur and I really don’t care to remember it.  

So that’s the story of how I, an aro, am a disaster when it comes to people flirting with me and how I almost became a kpop stan in 2011.

[gaykey]

Hiiii why is Minho such a good guy????? He is my SHINee bias. I mean my SHINee bias keeps on changing and this guy completely ruins my life. I just can't stop falling in love with this guy 😅 He is such a handsome, kind and caring guy. Like I haven't come across anyone like this in 3rd or 4th gen k pop. I remember Key saying how Minho always have extra time and energy to keep up with his family and friends schedule. Like how can he be like that? Why is he so kind??? Why????? Hahaha 😁😂😁

anonymous asked: My breakdown over Minho was due to his award ceremony appearance. How can he love everyone so much??? How big is that heart?? I clearly remember him telling Onew how much he loves him with that tender smile and that's when I fell for him. I remember that smile and how he wanted to spend his last 48 hour with a SHINee member even though they have been seeing each other 24/7 for 9 years. Like how's he human😭😭😭😭

we feeling the love for our wonderful choi minho today huh shawols 🥺💖 that speech got us in our feelings dhdhjsjsjw

you're so right though. all of this. how is so much love stored in one man?? he just has such a big heart, and we all always talk about it, but it's hard to like, fully get across, y'know?

he had such a way with words, and always makes shawols feel cared for, and lets us know that were appreciated. and he never fails to mention how much he loves his members, and praises them.

it's just??? what would we do without minho and his tender heart? where did they find this man 😭😭😭

i know ultimately, he's just some man, and we don't know him, and all that, but dammit, he's our man! and what he shows us is someone with so much love, kindness, care and generosity. all the good things.

also, babies all adore him and i happen to trust the opinion of babies.

[dubububbles]

SHINee’s reaction when being asked about their gf in an interview

(can i please request a scenario or reaction of shinee being asked about their gf on an interview?)

Requested by anon 

Onew:

“You recently revealed that you are in a relationship with y/n. What made you decide to make it known and how did your fans react to the news?” 

Onew would be very flustered to hear your name come up in the midst of an interview, since he had never really openly discussed your relationship before. He would feel very shy and not know how to address it without giving away too many details by accident. 

“Ah, that… uhm…” he stammered and rubbed the back of his neck a bit nervously. 

Whenever he spoke of you he would blush and not be able to hold back a smile, even in front of the other members, and they would often tease him about it. But once they saw how their hopeless leader was struggling, they would put that aside and step in to help. 

“I think what Onew hyung is trying to say is that it was a mutual decision for them to reveal it and that our fans are happy as long as he is happy.” Minho answered in his place. 

Onew then slowly nodded to show he agreed and also added a small sentence of his own with a nervous smile. The other members then collectively helped to change the subject in his favor. 

Jonghyun:

When a question about dating came up during a group interview all the members slowly turned in Jonghyun’s direction, because he was the only one in a public relationship at that time. When all the attention was suddenly on him he would feel a bit shy but also happy. 

“Oh, me?” he would ask and act oblivious at first to make the other members laugh before turning back to the interviewer to receive a more specific question, since the others had already pointed him out as the scapegoat. 

“Oh, Jonghyun-shi. You are in a relationship with y/n, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, that’s right. We are both dating happily.” he answered with a fond smile and then received a row of related questions, such as how you met and how long you had been dating. 

You had been open about your relationship for the past few months so it wasn’t odd for him to get questions about you. It also didn’t bother him, as long as it didn’t concern either of your privacy, and he would always respond with a lovestruck smile on his face. 

“We’ve been dating for eight months already, hmm and for how we met… well since it’s not a story we want to share with everyone, I’ll leave that to your imagination.” 

Key:

Key had been open about your relationship for a while. He was proud of it and didn’t hesitate to showcase the two of you together on his Instagram or other social media. 

However, he felt a little more hesitant talking about you in interviews, since he wanted to be in control of what you decided to put out there and what to keep private. Whenever he received a question about it he would therefore answer in a careful and vague manner. 

“The next question is for Key. It’s a known fact that you are dating y/n and recently you became known as a ‘visual power couple’ due to a number of social media posts that went viral. Did you know about this?” 

“Oh? Really?” Key perked up at the question and then couldn’t help but laugh, since it wasn’t what he had expected but found himself proud of it. “I actually haven't heard about it but I definitely think they are right.” 

His confident response didn’t surprise the other members and they didn’t hold back from commenting on it and teasing him for the sake of creating good content for the show. It also worked as a way to swing the interview in another direction that wouldn’t circle around their love lives. 

Minho:

During a group interview the members would all draw questions at random from fans and Jonghyun happened to draw one directed at the second youngest member. 

“Oh, this question is actually for Minho. It’s about you and your special someone.” he said and turned to him with a small, teasing grin. “Why did you choose to reveal your relationship to the public and what has been the hardest part in doing so?” 

At first Minho had felt a bit nervous at the mention of your relationship, since you were both private and normally wouldn’t talk about it openly. However, after hearing the full question he felt that he could answer it and he would go on to do so with a warm smile. 

“Well, it was actually a mutual decision between y/n and I, since we felt the need to be open with our fans after dating for a long time. The hardest part about it is the fact that we are put in a vulnerable situation, where people sometimes get involved in our private matters.” he began and then continued to explain that despite the hardships and worries he had, he also had a lot of trust for shawols. Since, as a fandom, they were a mirror image of them as a group and normally held a great amount of respect for their private lives and other sensitive matters.

Taemin: 

Taemin was happy and comfortable in your relationship but would restrain from talking too much about it publically, mostly because he didn’t want you to be on the receiving end of negative comments from people who called themselves fans. So, when a question about your relationship came up in an interview, during a corner consisting of fan’s sending in questions, he felt a bit worried at first. 

“My question is for Taemin. Actually, I was curious about how the other members reacted when they first heard about your relationship with y/n?” 

“Ah, the other members?” Taemin repeated and then smiled, since the question was directed more at the rest of SHINee and not at you and him. “Ah well, I think they all reacted the same way. They were supportive but they also teased me a lot.” 

“Since you are the youngest, did the older members give you any advice? And if so, what was the best advice you received?” The interviewer added to follow up on the fan’s question. 

Taemin thought about it for a couple of seconds, while the other members watched him and waited in anticipation. 

“Actually, I didn’t receive any advice that was helpful.” He said at last, in a blunt but playful manner, which instantly had the rest of SHINee react in a mix of baffled laughter and strong disagreement.