#did I mention i also have my final exam in two weeks? haha fuck

[assortedvillainvault]

HOOOOOO

Lads I am in Art Mode which is great as the con I'm tabling at is less than a month away and I have. No. Prints.

So yeah procrastinating by scrolling on Tumblr as I have:

- 7 prints

- at least 2 bookmarks (I mean y'know if the stars align I was hoping for *22 bookmark designs idk it could happen)

- 6 (9? Maybe) more stickers

- 5 notebook vinyl arts to design thennn....at least 5 of each design to actually make so 25 notebooks at least?

Those are the Essentials I guess tho if I have more time I'd like the following as well:

- vinyl printed tote bags

- a tearaway pad design

- autobot flag design

Soooo... Yeah Tumblr asks are quiet for now while I serenely spiral into transformers con prep hell but love you all - waving through the screen rn.

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he���s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

[oftenderweapons]

The Magic Touch - maknae line

Pairing: maknae line member x reader

Wordcount: 1.3-1.5k words

Genre: smut, fluff, (Jimin’s and Jungkook’s are a bit angsty)

Rating: 18+

Hello there everyone! One day later, here I am, I’ll repeat my general considerations.

I was very conflicted about posting, especially since I realised some of you might be focusing your energies on the BLM movement -- at the same time I thought that, as a writer, one of my priorities is to offer a momentary getaway from real life, especially since many countries are still affected by quarantine and lockdown, and many of us might need to get away from all the stress in the meantime.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m pretty busy with exams and studying but I really wanted to post this because last week, on May 28th, we celebrated International Masturbation Day! So, as you can see, the theme is masturbation.

I think that the general message here is that you don’t have to be single to masturbate, and that masturbation and couple life are not mutually exclusive.  

TRIGGER WARNINGS: There is some swearing. Also, THIS IS QUITE DESCRIPTIVE (sometimes even too descriptive for my own good) with some possibly rough language, pretty much any kind of masturbation, mostly mutual, but also individual, of course this thing is filled with exhibitionism and voyeurism, unprotected foreplay and spit play, mentions of unprotected sex (GUYS, PLAY IT SAFE, CONDOMS, DENTAL DAMS, GET TESTED REGULARLY!!!!), use of restraints and sex toys, namely one vibrator and one dildo. Mentions of cheating (it’s just JK being insecure, his gf loves him like crazy), apparently the key to unlock Jimin’s part was to switch (haha! in literature we call this foreshadowing) his and Taehyung’s prompts. Lately I’ve been thinking about dommy Jimin and damn, I had to share: he’s merciless and a tease, enjoy. Taehyung loves watching his gf, no news. JK is a young bunny and he couldn’t understand much what was happening, he was Jungshook through most of it but he appreciates.

Sceneries about 1300-1500 words each.

Enjoy!

Here you can find the hyung line

And you can find my masterlist here

Jimin

How much more could it go on like this?

Would he really tease you for the rest of the night?

“Stop it. Please, just get it done.”

“Not tonight baby.”

He moved his hand away from your thighs once more. He had been edging for almost an hour now. Tonight he was merciless. He had trapped your nipples in his favourite clamps and was currently pulling at the string connecting them, his other hand pressing against your sex.

“You want me to stop?”

“Please, just want to cum.”

“Are you aroused?”

You nodded desperately. Tonight he was being a huge switch, going from dom to sub every two minutes. 

On the sofa he had initially curled up in front of you, letting you be the big spoon as he rested his head on your bicep. Then he had pinned your hands and moved your shirt aside to suck you nipples, his hard on pressing against your crotch. Then he had pulled you on top of him, acting as if he wanted to suffocate between your tits. 

And now you were below him, mouth wide as he finally took off his shirt, the head of his erection pressing against the waistband of his underwear. Would he let you touch him?

“Sit there. I want you to watch me. If you touch yourself I’ll stop.”

You nodded sharply after he took off his underwear. “Have you missed me?”

“Yes, I have baby.”

“All of me?”

“I missed you on top of me. Inside me.” You licked your lips as you saw the first drop of pre-cum appear on his glans.

“Are you wishing you could lick it?” He teased with a smirk.

Another nod, this time eager and convinced. 

“Aren’t you always hungry for me, my queen.” He collected it with his palm, offering it before your lips. You lapped at it. “Wet my hand for me, love?”

You obeyed silently.

His hand ran down his torso while his wet one grabbed the middle of his sex and slid downwards, contracting around the base. 

“How can I help you?” You asked. 

“Just look at me. I love it when you watch me. You give me so much attention. Make me feel so beautiful.”

“You love it baby, don’t you?” You smiled wildly. 

He nodded, his lower lip plum as he bit it. He was too handsome for his own good: kneeling at the feet of the bed, his left hand kneading the base of his neck, his erection half hidden by his hand. 

“Will you let me touch you?” You asked, praying every god that he would not deny you.

He giggled playfully. “Of course not.” 

You couldn’t hold back your disappointment, pouting like a babygirl. 

“Don’t be a brat, princess. You know that the moment you touch me, you’ll want to put your mouth on me, and the moment you put your mouth on me you’ll want me inside your pretty, wet pussy.” He teased with a smug grin. “Wait for it like a big girl.”

Still you clenched your jaw and tried to get closer to him. “Don’t you love me? Don’t you love the way I touch you?” Maybe you could hit his switch. Maybe you could make him your pliant little boy and climb him and use him to fuck your brains out. 

“Wait.” He said, his voice stern. 

“I know you want me to touch you.” You tried to persuade him with a saccharine voice. “You love my hands on you.” You sat on your knees and started getting closer to him, slowly, one inch at a time. “You always cum when I stroke you. You love my delicate touch, my warm, slipper fingers, you love it when I press on you there... ”

You were face to face now. 

“Don’t.” He ordered you. 

“Or?” You cheshire grin and your fingertip on his knee were immediately interrupted by his body smashing against yours, dragging you back to the headboard. 

“One can’t even get off in peace in this house. Dammit.”

“You know I’ve been trying to get off too, right? The feeling’s mutual.” His body was snug against yours, his erection pressing on your hip.

“Quit the attitude. Now.” He was almost scary.

“Then fuck me.” You replied snarkily. 

“Fine, you had it coming. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With his body pinning yours he reached for his bedside table, rummaging until he found a pair of black furry handcuffs. 

“Give me your wrists or it will get worse.”

“Try me, sweet thing.” Since the ball was rolling, might as well play.

He chuckled darkly. “Oh, I will.” He grabbed your wrists, joining them on top of your head and cuffing them together, looping the chain around a bar of the bed. Sometimes you thought he had that bed specifically for this purpose. Even though it was usually him being cuffed to bed. 

“Well, well. look who can’t touch me now.” He teased. He rummaged in the drawer again, emerging with a small silk case. “I told you I would ruin you. But you didn’t believe me. Guess I’ll have to deliver.” He extracted a small vibe. You knew it too well. Usually you would restrain him and let him watch as you wore the vibe and let it overstimulate you, orgasm after orgasm. You biggest source of joy was being turned against you. 

“Now will you apologize for your smartmouth and keep quiet while I get myself off?” He asked. 

You did not reply, looking at him with hostility. 

“Fine.” He forced your knees apart and put the cherry-shaped vibe in his mouth. Extracting it, he switched it on and pressed it against your clitoris. Your reaction was immediate. “Let’s see if you still misbehave now.” He pushed it inside and instantly your eyes blew open, your lips parting in an high pitched moan. 

“Oh my god. Jimin, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I swear I’ll be good.” You didn’t last one minute before you started begging. But he was completely insensitive to your pleas, once more comfortably sitting on the balls of his feet, this time he placed himself at our feet, between your spread legs. 

“Not so bold now, are we ____?” He provoked, his hands reaching slowly for his hard on, enjoying how stressed out you looked below him. 

“I’m so sorry.” You were so close to sobbing. 

“Saying sorry is not enough baby. You passed your limit tonight. Take your punishment like a big girl.” He started touching himself with ease, not fretting over it, tugging at the upper half and observing you writhe in front of him. His confidence and arrogance got you upset even more: he was there, all triumphant and smug while you were making a mess of yourself with your body juices. Your cries and pleas were whiny and childlike. 

“Can’t you keep quiet, princess, I’m trying to focus here.”

“Please,” you begged once more. 

He collected some of his precum on his fingers and then forced them in your mouth. 

“Now keep quiet.” He cocked his head. “Don’t you wanna cum?” He baited. 

You nodded frantically, sucking his fingers. 

“Then silence.” 

And silence was, the toy only edging you more and more, since it was set on the lowest level and you were sadly unable to orgasm without contact on your clit. Though you knew that if you were lucky enough to resist until he got inside you, his pubis rubbing against your sensitive bud, you would be seeing stars straight away.

But you weren't silent because of his orders, but rather because of the sweet moans and whimpers coming from his throat. He had edged himself too, meeting your eyes every now and then and blushing when you smiled at him softly, interrupting only when your brow furrowed and you needed to concentrate on the feeling between your legs. 

Now he seemed finally ready to orgasm, his face completely relaxed and focused as a long, sweet exhale fell from his mouth, making you shiver. 

“I’m cumming baby.” He said in his small voice. 

“Want you all over me.” You replied, inviting him to mark you. 

His eyebrows knitted together, he pouted, nodding, then you saw his sculpted torso undulate and his hips snap towards you, making him crumble on top of you, spilling over your breasts and stomach in a messy puddle. 

It took him over half a minute to recover, and by now you felt so tender and on edge that even his lashes fluttering over your breasts made you get wetter -- you were surprised you could get any wetter than this. 

He opened his eyes, his voice soft as a cloud when he said: “I want you to use me for your pleasure, my queen.” And he switched, once again.

Taehyung

“Head or foot?”

“I get the foot.” He answered.

“Nice. Very polite of you.”

“I can see better when you take the head. I can kneel but you need to prop yourself up.”

“Thank you, Tae.”

“You’re welcome, my love.” He wrapped a hand around your waist, leading you to the bedroom. 

“Would you want some music?”

“Do you?”

“Not really.” He started undoing his shirt. You removed your jacket, freeing all the small motherpearl buttons of your blouse. You were standing right in front of each other. Shame was something you had removed from your relationship almost a year ago. If it had ever existed. 

You talked about everything, saw everything of each other. Every dimple, mole, scar, valley and plane, curve and angle of your bodies had been explored patiently and devotedly. Looking at each other like this was a form of worship rather than erotism. 

“Is it too cold?” You asked, looking at the thermostat. Tae was rather sensitive to changes of temperature. 

“It’s nice. But maybe I’ll change my mind once I’m naked.” He took his pants off, his feet softly padding on the marble floor, nearing the enormous bed. All that space was a waste, you always slept latched together, one on top of the other. You could probably fit in a baby bed.

“No underwear today?” You asked, removing the small vintage star-shaped pendant he had gifted you. 

“I showered at BigHit, then realised I had forgotten my boxers but I thought it wasn’t worth it wearing the sweaty ones. I was getting home anyways.”

You smiled and removed your pencil skirt. “Stockings on or off?”

He pondered. “Off.” Pause. “No, on.”

You giggled and mirrored his boxy grin. “Okay, on. Coming,” you teased, taking off your panties. “Wait. Panties, bra?”

“Pantied off, bra on.” He ordered. 

“Fine.” You trotted to the head of the bed and climbed, his eyes trailing over our legs and the curve of our bum.

“I love your curves, princess.”

“I love your face.” You complimented back. 

“I love your thighs, soft and buttery.” He said, shaking his hair out of the way, kissing you left ankle. 

“I love your hands, strong and naughty.” 

“Where do you want my hands?” He asked you, waiting for your instruction. 

“On yourself. Rake your hands on your lower belly, on your pelvis. You can touch anywhere but your cock.”

“Like this?” He showed you.

“Yes, but slower.”

By now you were leaning with your back against the pillows, your legs wide for him, to look, to sniff, anything but touch. 

He obeyed. “Tell me.”

“Keep going. I want to see your cock come to life.”

“I love it when you use that word.” His smile was already more subdued, his stare dreamy and light.

“I like using it. I like how raw it feels. It matches the way you fuck me.”

“About fucking you, wet your right pointer and middle finger.” You complied eagerly, strings of saliva connecting your tongue and digits. “Now use them to spread your labia.”

You reached for your sex, slowly, without a care in the world. You showed him your wetness, the pink of your tender skin. 

“Keep teasing your outer labia. Don’t touch your clit.” He said. 

“You can grab the base. Squeeze it.” You told him in return. He complied with a small groan. “That’s it. Keep squeezing. Slowly. Feel it pulse.”

Taehyung’s eyes were closing, but he fought the need just to look at you. “One finger in. Only one.” He urged you. 

You licked your lips and felt the thick sense of wetness hosted in your cunt. “I’m so wet.”

“Can I taste?” He questioned. You offered him your finger. “Delicious, as always. We should keep eating fruit.”

“Maybe it truly is the ananas.” You commented, cupping your breast with your spare hand. He hadn't asked you to but he wouldn’t hold you back. Not tonight.

“Long live the ananas.” He muttered. You laughed. 

Sex with Taehyung was made like this. Sharing. Laughing. And him wrecking you like you were his very personal fucktoy. Not to your distaste, you might add. Being treated like a diva from the Sixties, worshipped like a goddess. It was like being one of those actresses from old time erotica. Turned into muse, lover, girlfriend, sidekick, saint, sinner… He could morph you into anything, mould you into his perfect match, every single time. Wearing masks, costumes, accessories, being half a deity and half a whore. He was your director, liberating you of all the boundaries of society, carrying you across those moral borders that were so heavy on you. Sex with Taehyung was metaphysical.

“Did it work on you too?” You asked curiously. 

“You tell me.” He squeezed his shaft and offered you a drop of his precum. 

You licked it clean. “Mh mh.” You moaned enthusiastically. 

“Ananas at noon every friday, so we get dirty on the weekend,” he considered, “Strawberries on saturday and watermelon on sunday so I can pop that cherry and smack that peach.”

You laughed genuinely at that, your heart melting at the adoring look in his eyes. He was in a good mood today. You were grateful. “Curl your hand in a fist. Use it like my cunt,” you suggested him. 

He nodded. “Like this?”

“Yeah. Like that.” You were still massaging your slit with one finger, now fully covered in your juices. “Don’t get carried away, I’m waiting for you.”

He looked at you confusedly, then, as if waking from a trance: “Two fingers, still no clit.” 

You licked your lips provokingly, then looked at his face from under your lashes. “This way?” Spreading your fingers once inside, showing him that you were getting stretched and ready for his girth. 

“You know how to do it, my love.” Your eyes were glued to the motion of his hands, his shaft penetrating one as he reached the base with the other. That was his favourite way of touching himself. It was the first thing you had learnt about him in bed, roughly two months after your first date. You were making out and you started palming him through his jeans, wanting to see how he looked when possessed by bliss. And he had taught you. A few days after that, he had asked you to lay in bed and touch yourself for him, show him how you worked, what you liked. 

So when he started using his large left hand on his shaft and his more precise right palm on the tip, circling around it, using the digit of his middle finger to tease his slit and frenulum, you knew he was read to go for the killing blow, arousing you visually with how his body moved this close to orgasming, and giving you the final command. 

“Touch your clit, two fingers in circular motions.” You started. 

“Faster.” He ordered you. You accelerated. 

“Faster.” Again. “Spread your knees wider, let me see.” He spurred. “That pretty cunt needs to be seen. It’s too pretty to remain hidden.” He slowed down with his right hand. “Sway those hips like I was fucking you, princess.”

“Tae, so close.”

“Use your kegels. I need to see you clench.” That was your final undoing. You started rubbing furiously against your hand, thighs falling wide apart, much to Taehyung’s enjoyment. 

Your eyes were still close, stars falling against your eyelids, burning white lines in that black sky, when you felt Taehyung’s weight on you. “Let me cum inside.”

You nodded, letting him wrap one arm under your waist, the other under your neck. That was all you needed to know he would fuck you rough, violent, a matter of minutes and he would reach his high and take you with him. 

Hips snapping furiously, his arms holding you still and impaling you on his cock, he whispered: “Touch yourself”. Your second orgasm hit you hard as he finally got his first, groaning loudly without a care of who could hear, mouth needy and wet at your neck, and then at your own mouth, kissing you forcefully. 

He was still completely paralysed a few minutes later, abandoned on your clothed breast as you absentmindedly caressed his hair. His gravelly voice rose suddenly. “I love many, many things of you, but you above them all.”

Jungkook

The smacking coming from the shower is what really gave you off. 

The lewd sound made Jungkook go from confused, to curious to jealous and angry. Could it be…?

How could you? Why do this to him? Hurting him this much? Couldn’t you just tell him you wanted to break up?

As he reached the master bedroom, he noticed that the only clothes abandoned around were yours. And even though the sound of the smacking from the bathroom suggested other, he could hear only your moans. The door was ajar, the sound of the water echoing in the room. 

“Googie.” Were you calling his name? Really? 

He delicately pushed the door, enough to catch your reflection in the mirror. Yes, you were alone, but fear was still constricting his gut. He needed you to comfort him. 

A little timidly, he showed his presence on the threshold and called your name. 

His view was clear now, and he could finally figure out the whole puzzle. Your backside was pressed against the wall, one of your hands resting between your thighs, your fingers hidden among your folds, something of a bright hot pink colour just barely showing there.

“You’re home early.”

“Yeah.” His gaze still fixed between your legs, eyelids blinking frequently and quickly, his mouth twisted in surprise and puzzlement. 

“Do you need the shower?”

“What are you doing?” He asked, head cocked to the side.

Was he playing coy? “Can’t you tell?” You moved your hand suggestively, letting the pink silicone slip out of you. Jungkook’s eyes went wide. “Want me to show you?” You were still chasing your first high, your nerve endings going haywire with stimulation. 

“Need me there?”

“Depends. What do you want to do?”

“Let me just watch from up close. Then we’ll see...” He was already taking off his clothes. He really just needed you close. Something to comfort him after the scare he gave himself thinking you were in here with someone else.

“Come, then.” The moment he dropped his boxers you zeroed in on his half hard length, how his hand went immediately there as he kept his eyes on you, his timid side completely overpowered by his lust for you. You loved the effect you have on him. He joined you in the shower, not sure about what to do. 

“Tell me what to do,” you asked him.

“Act like I wasn’t here,” he requested. “What would you do if I weren’t here?”

You smirked, fingers naturally coming to your clit, your left hand fumbling a little to reinsert the dildo inside you. When the head went past your entrance you let out a heavy moan. 

His eyes went wide, his own sex quivering a little, now reaching its full length and touching against his belly button. 

“I’m already so close.” You whispered, eyes half closed. 

“How long have you been like this.”

“Maybe ten minutes, don’t really know.” You shut your eyes as the silicone stimulated an especially tender spot. 

“You look glorious.” He said. You smiled, another moan parting from your lips. “Keep going. You’re close.” Your fingers now circling furiously on your clit, you heard the loud smacking of your ass against the tiles pick up again. 

When you saw him start stroking himself, one hand pressing himself from above, one from below, his fingers laced so to apply pressure along all the shaft, you felt something snap inside you. Your eyes were hungry for him, the sight of him crumbling. He groaned as you reached for your breast, fingers tweaking the nipple. 

He felt so close himself. It wasn’t surprising at all, considering it had been a while since you last had sex - period and all of that - so the moment he saw your body grow looser and messier, a high pitched whine escaping your lips as your fingers lest their rhythm, he knew he was done. Your orgasm triggered his, face scrunched in pleasure, one hand desperately going for the wall behind you to prop himself up. “Baby, yes.” He cried when your hands touched his back, snaking behind him. You felt his cum on your belly, slowly being washed away by the water. 

“I need you so bad,” you whispered in his ear. 

“Stay still.” He said, caressing your hair back as he abandoned his spot on your shoulder. One hand stroking from your neck, to your breast to your belly as he kneeled. The moment he realised that his semen was on you, and now trapped on his fingers, he looked at it questioningly, then he looked up at you, bambi eyes blown wide and begging as he put his stained finger on your lips. You opened your mouth for him and licked it clean. 

“Such a good girl. Will you let me taste you now?” 

You nodded eagerly. “Please.” That’s all it took for him to place his mouth on you, your knee bent and thrown over his shoulder. His hand kept massaging your breast, comforting the heaviness you felt there. His other arm enveloped around your waist, fingers searching for the toy attached to the wall, pressing around its suction cup to free it. You didn’t hear it pop and when you felt the tip pressing once more against you, you opened your eyes. 

Jungkook, tongue pressed and rolling against your clit, eyes closed as if he were fully tasting you, enjoying every drop of you. He substituted his mouth with his thumb. “Do you want me to keep going?” He asked.

You nodded. 

“Use your words.”

“Keep going.”

He immediately pushed the toy in, letting it settle while your moans echoed in the shower. Eyes fixed on you, he let his mouth lean against your pubis once more, tongue darting out to meet your essence. His free hand dipped down to grab his dick, teasing it with small motions. 

“Googie, it feels so good.”

You knew it wouldn’t take you long. Especially considered that your second orgasm was always so easy, usually a few minutes away from your first. He loved eating you out on your second because you were always so pliant and relaxed, while you first was always more complicated and always risked turning in a bilaterally stressful experience.

Touching himself one handed was slightly uncomfortable, but considering that he had you on his tongue and he could take advantage of the gorgeous vision of your chest inflating and deflating with you heavy breathing made quite the trick, his sex throbbing with need, his neck and face pressing you against the wall, so that you couldn’t escape his ministration, your writhing only causing you to roll from his mouth to the dildo without any chance of reprieve. 

Suddenly grabbing his hair you felt your second high hit you, your standing leg shaking so bad you thought you would fall. Jungkook completely lost touch with reality as you started riding his face, your calf on his back only drawing him closer, trapping him. He felt his own release approach as your high diminished, letting go of the base of the toy only to use both his hands on himself. 

When your vision finally focused again you were met with the sight of his head rolled back, his jaw clenched and the beautiful length of his cock slightly inflating, veins showing, as he finally came in his hand. You felt him groan against your stomach after his torso leaned forward, looking for your support. 

When he opened his eyes, slowly, he grinned at you soft and wild, kissing your belly button and carefully removing the dildo from inside you.

“We should do this more often.”

You chuckled. You hoped you would. 

[megumis-lashes]

Love Bites

Vampire! Han Jisung x Reader Part 1

**Contains**: mentions of blood/blood drinking, parental abuse, bullying, fighting, slight swearing, emotional abuse, friends to lovers, werewolf Hyunjin, western high school standards, female reader

Flashback =

> Hello

Narrators POV

In today’s society, supernatural beings like vampires and werewolves are believed to be mythical creatures. Few people believe in their existence and have many false stereotypes surround these creatures’ existence. In reality they do exist. Supernaturals or whatever you like to call them, live a life hidden from society. They play the role of innocent humans is a world where they aren’t accepted.

Name’s POV

After a long, stressful week of school I was finally home to relax, or at least that’s what I wish I was doing right now. Throughout my whole life, I always had an immense amount of pressure put on me by my parents. They wanted a perfect daughter. Not perfect in the sense of a loving child, oh no they had their own definition for the word. To be a perfect child by their standards was practically impossible. I would need to have prefect grades, perfect manners, a perfect record, but despite having all those things I was still a disappointment. I wasn’t ever allowed to have friends, they would simply distract me from school. Defying this logic I was required to participate in at least one sport for college credit. I chose volleyball on a whim. I was practically exhausted every day. I had school each day, followed by practice and then hours of homework. Despite the amount of stress I am constantly facing, my parents only ever cared about results, positive results that is.

You see I’m currently in a very dangerous situation. This week I had been so overwhelmed by homework that I fell asleep before I finished studying for an exam. It was understandable. I hadn’t gotten proper sleep in days and staying up till 3am every night doing homework was clearly taking a toll on my health. My parents could care less though. I had scored a 73 on the exam which was just barely passing in my school’s standards. My parents were furious, and I was scared of their reaction to say the least. I had an idea of what was coming.

I got kicked out?

“No fucking way.” I breathed out as I stood with my hands full in front of my house. This is probably the last thing I would’ve expected but they sure did it. Typically their punishments weren’t this bad. They would just yell at me for a while, threaten to take things from me, maybe hit me if they were really mad, and then tell me how much of a disappoint I was. This wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to so I barely had a reaction to it anymore. This lack of reaction seemed to trigger something new in them. If I wasn’t affected by their typical punishments they would have to step up. So they kicked their barely 17 year old daughter out of their house on a bone-chilling Friday in October.

It was nearing 6:00 PM and I had no idea what to do. They had given me barely five minutes to grab whatever items I would need to survive for however long I would be homeless. I had managed to scrap together the bare necessities. I was still dressed in my school uniform but luckily brought a change of clothes. The first thing I did was change. I couldn’t be a bad representation of my school could I? I didn’t have much. I had just enough time to stuff my school bag with clothes, my wallet, laptop, phone, chargers and snacks but I was still frozen to the bone.

My first thought was to check into a small hotel, but I quickly dismissed the idea when I saw the price. I walked around the city area, contemplating who I could ask to stay with but oh, I don’t have any friends. After wandering around for a while I had subconsciously returned home. Maybe they would let me in? Nope. All the doors and windows were locked and a small note was taped to the door.

‘Left on vacation. Be back soon. Name, if you break in we’ll disown you.’ I sighed. Of course they left. I’m even more desperate for somewhere to stay now.

As time passed and I continued to walk around, the night grew darker and darker. I had walked in what seemed like circles for hours and I was even more exhausted than usual. As I was walking in the city, I heard soft growls behind me. Now that I thought about it there were barely any people here. As I glanced back behind me, my blood ran cold. What is that thing?

From the shadows I could barely make out what I assumed to be its face. Despite this a few startling details stood out to me the most. It had beady red eyes that seemingly glowed under the moonlight. It looked to be an animal, having a pure black fur coat that seemingly stood up on edge. The last thing I saw were its insanely sharp teeth that dripped with saliva as it growled. Despite this sudden shock, it didn’t take long for me to realize I was in danger and book it in the opposite direction. I heard louder growls behind me and I could almost feel its hot breath on my legs. It was right at my heels biting at my ankles in hopes to slow me down. With my low energy I knew I wouldn’t last long at this speed. I had to do something to help me escape. Out of pure adrenaline rush, I made a quick turn and with a sharp motion I slammed my bag across its face. As it whimpered in pain I quickly tore open my pack and grabbed out the heaviest school book I had and threw it as hard as I possibly could at its face. This seemed to shock the animal at it rolled over on the ground in pain. I took this as an opportunity to escape and bolted away as fast as I could.

I had been running for what seemed like forever and finally, my body gave out. Once I figured I was far enough away from it I stopped pushing myself and collapsed on my knees in a fit of coughs and strangled breathing. I escaped at least. My only price to pay was the harsh burning sensation that was bubbling up in my lungs and some slight scratches. I was alive at least. The only downside to my escape is that I had No. Idea. Where. I. Was. As I ran, my surroundings seemed to have blended together. The city streets were long forgotten and I was surrounded by lush forest. A forest I had never seen in my life.

Despite my current distress, I knew I still had to find somewhere to sleep. It was pitch black out now. I assumed it was nearing midnight but I wasn’t sure as my phone had died a couple hours before. I was as lost as lost could be and instead of wandering around aimlessly for the rest of the night, I figured I’d just sleep near a sheltered tree. I sure as hell needed plenty of sleep. I laid there on the cold, wet ground for what I could only assume was a couple hours. I was still terrified. I was extremely shaken by my experience from earlier. I was also freezing. The little warmth my clothes had given me was quickly lost due to the freezing water that had seeped into them upon contact with the ground. At some point I must’ve passed out as that is the remainder of the memories I have from that night.

“Hello? Hello? Excuse me miss are you alright? Are you alive? Wow Jisung that’s a smart questions to ask.” I heard distant talking from what seemed to be above me.

I rubbed my eyes in confusion, slowly blinking them open. As my vision cleared I saw a boy. The boy had slightly grown out dirty blonde hair, golden eyes, a relatively short stature and was dressed in sweats. The most shocking detail of all was how familiar he looked, almost too familiar.

The boy blinked in surprise. “Oh! I see you’ve awoken... finally.” He slightly mumbled. “Sorry to wake you its just I don’t see people casually sleeping in the forest everyday you know.” He shuffled and rubbed his neck as he spoke.

I clambered around and began to sit upright as I continued to stare at him. I definitely knew him from somewhere. He seemed to somewhat recognize me as well.

“Ah that sweater! You must be from Maple High as well then, that’s why you seem so familiar!” He explained “Wait what’s your name... ah wait don’t tell me I know it...... is it Name by any chance?” He questioned. Now I knew exactly who he was.

“You’re correct. And you’re Han Jisung right? We’ve been in chemistry, music, and language arts classes together for the past two years. Now I’m embarrassed I didn’t recognize you sooner.” I mumbled out of embarrassment.

“No no its fine! Plus it took me a while to remember your name.” He chided as he rubbed his neck once again. “Do you mind letting me know why you’re stranded out here in the forest? If you’re camping or something then that’s understandable but this area is known for being very unsafe, plus you look dangerously unprepared.” He questioned.

“Ah about that... you see I got lost last night. I was in the city and some animal chased me and I wound up here somehow.” I awkwardly chuckled. I mean I wasn’t being completely honest but only certain people would fully understand my situation.

“You wouldn’t happen to know the way out of this hell hole would you?” I pleaded.

“Now I see what happened!” He chuckled as he seemingly put the pieces together. “I can show you the way out! This forest is practically my second home haha.” he laughed

Jisung had helped me grabbed my things and started to lead me out of the forest.

“Hey Jisung?”

“Yeah?”

“How come you know this forest so well? And how did you even find me? I mean its a pretty random location?” I questioned.

“Oh, I come here to hunt.” He blurted out.

“Hunt? Like animals? Isn’t that like really outdated?” I questioned.

“Oh..uh..yeah I hunt like deer...and stuff. I guess my family is just kinda outdated. Hunting is a... hobby of mine I guess....” He trailed off. I found his answer rather odd... I mean he seemed nervous? No unsure? Whatever it was probably nothing.

As he led me out of the forest I managed to slip up and mention that I had to figure out a place to stay. Out of what I could only assume was a mixture of kindness and pity, he offered to let me stay at his house. At first I immediately declined. It was such a huge offer to just give to someone you barely know. Plus I would feel guilty as I had little to offer him in thanks. Eventually he persuaded me to stay with him. My payment could be in the form of chores as he was home alone, his parents away on business. He lent me clothes and let me stay in one of his many guest rooms. I took a shower and once again took a nap.

[pebblysand]

OF CRYSTAL ROSES (EXTENDED AUTHOR’S NOTE OF CHAPTER VI. OF CASTLES)

-- TO READ THE CHAPTER ITSELF, SEE HERE ON AO3 --

well, well, well. here we are. spoiler alert, gryffindors make plans they don’t stick to, lolz. all the good intentions in the world, i had. study, i said i would. yet, here were find ourselves, eighteen thousand words later. this appears to be how i roll. slept about five hours last night, too, so apologies if i’m slightly non-sensical/rambly. this chapter ought to be sponsored by deliveroo and teapigs tea, a brand of tea that appeared in my local supermarket a few moths ago and that i steadily refused to buy because - can tea really be worth this much? low and behold, once you’ve tried it once, it appears to be addictive. i’ve, while writing this chapter, worked my way through about four packs of their different teas - they are just this good. i have a job interview tomorrow so wish me luck in gaining employment which will hopefully fund my expensive habits.

now, before we get into the nitty gritty of the chapter, itself, i just needed to say this: i cannot thank everyone enough for the incredible response on last chapter. i’d kind of grown accustomed to getting a couple of reviews for each of them and to writing in my little corner of the internet but boy, you guys are bloody legends! i am so overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone who commented, kudo-ed and generally gave love to this fic in general. i really didn’t expect such a response and it’s meant the world to me. i think it’s probably also the reason why i’m posting so early because i kept being like, god, i can’t leave this many people waiting in this cliffhanger hell. i think this chapter ends on a more positive note (although, i’ll let you judge), one that might be more conducive of a few weeks’ wait (more on that below), haha.

this being said, as i explained on here before, i come from very tiny fandoms where basically everyone knows each other and the number of people reading would usually fit in my flat. the fact that over 80 people are now subscribed to this fic just blows my fucking mind. you’re all magnificent and i love you. i try to respond to all the comments so let’s keep chatting if you feel like it (although, no pressure - comment if you want to, but do know that it makes me very happy when you do :)). you’re all fabulous and i wish you all the best!

anyway, spoilers for castles, chapter vi under the cut.

guys, guys, guys, i am so tired. i’ve spent four days editing almost 20,000 words and my brain is fried. but, we are officially at the halfway point of this story, yaaaay!!! my plan, at this point, is that we’ll have six chapters on each side but even if i do end up splitting this one later (more on this below) i’ll end up with seven chapters on each side so either way - yay to the end of act 1!

i think that’s also why i tried to turn this chapter around this quickly. to me, i always kind of saw this fic as having two parts. part 1: the immediate post-war aftermath with the heartache and the love-fast/burn-fast start to harry/ginny. part 2: a slow and actually healthy rebuild of their relationship, and of the world around them. i have genuinely been writing towards that last harry/ginny scene in this chapter for months. it feels like such a relief to finally have that weight off my shoulders. and i actually do think it’ll allow me to focus on study later. act one is finished, and act two can wait a bit, i suppose.

now, obviously, given that i already apologised last time, part of me still wants to apologise for the length of this chapter, even more so, actually. it sits at about 18,000 words which, by nanowrimo’s standards, is over a third of a full book, wtf. yet, you guys also said last time that you didn’t actually mind long chapters, so perhaps i shouldn’t beat myself up too much?

as i said in the a/n, this is a little bit of different set up than chapter v. though. i know exactly where to split this. as you’ve probably seen by now, there’s a very natural split point after harry has his breakdown on the couch with ginny, before Christmas properly "starts." the reason i didn’t split this one there, though is: a) selfish: i needed to get this out. stop working on it. i need to study. when it’s out, i’m not thinking about it anymore. it would have been a bit non sensical to split this just for the sake of it and post two chapters at once, which means i probably would have held onto the second part for another couple of weeks, and fuck that. additionally, b) you may not have noticed this but: the chapter titles rhyme. why did i bring this additional difficulty upon myself, i do not fucking know. especially because i will soon run out of one-word construction materials to draw from, lol. as a result, though, i need an even number of chapters to close out this story and because i’m sort of planning six chapters from now to the end (more on that below) i can’t really split this one right now. like, if i end up with another overlong chapter in the next few months, i probably will take that opportunity and go back and split this one, just for readability. but at this stage, at this stage, because i don’t know how many chapters i’ll have for act two (six or seven), i’m keeping this chapter like this for the time being. i kind of hope i end up with seven chapters on the other side and am able to split this one down the line, but we will see. in the meantime, my most sincere apologies to the folks who read fanfiction before bed and it’s now 4 am by the time you’ve finished this. i’ve been there before, believe me.

from a personal standpoint, though, i have to say, this chapter (compared to the last one) was incredibly easy to write. i think i’d spent so much time imagining and writing these scenes in my head as kind of a culminating point for the first half of the story, that it quite simply poured out. i did have a little bit of an everything is shit crisis yesterday and today, but sure look, that always happens. overall, i am quite happy - i think - with the end result.

now, when i say "easy to write" i mean, technically, easy to find words to write down what was in my head. i do not mean: easy to write on an emotional level. oh boy. i’m generally not a crier. i have been asked, a number of times, by people who said my writing made them cry: do you cry when you write, too? and my answer was always ‘no’. i don’t judge, but i’m just not that kind of person. i know people who cry every day but personally, we are in the middle of a pandemic, my father recently passed away, i’ve lost my job and am studying for an exam my life is pretty dependent upon, and i haven’t cried in months. yet, i swear, there were a couple of times, both writing this and editing it, when i had to step away from the screen because i could feel a lump in my throat. that had never happened to me before. i didn’t, like, bawl or anything but god i felt it. i don’t know if it’s because it’s my first time killing an oc, someone who was really mine but boy. giulia. i kept trying to find ways not to kill her, or apologising to her. to me, she’s tom’s last victim and that really, fucking hurts. if you’re hurting too, i don’t really know what to tell you. i’m sorry, i suppose. her death was needed for … plot purposes, lol. god, i’m the worst haha.

re:harry/ginny: i must say i really like where they end up, at the end of this. i had planned this to a certain extent. i was always under the impression that they would talk over christmas, but not get back together. however, the reason why they weren’t getting back together, in my head, was initially quite different. i initially didn’t have ginny dating someone else. i think i mentioned i was toying with the idea in the a/n for last chapter, but at the time i wasn’t truly sold on it. then, i ended up writing the scene i’d originally planned for them and it didn’t quite fit. what i’d planned, at the time, felt rather ooc for ginny when actually on paper. on the other hand, harry, under my fingertips, kept trying to kiss her and i kept hitting the delete button. i swear, i know it sounds weird to people who might not be writers but sometimes, your characters really do seem to have their own agendas. when i caved, let him kiss her, then the scene took on a different meaning, and, i hope, a better one. i think something clicked there and it feels like a good place for act one to end. obviously, they’ll get back together cause this follows cannon so you know, not much suspense there. it’s more about the how than the what, to me.

re:ginny’s letters: this idea came to me a while ago, actually. i was thinking that they’d need to talk about what happened last year, but i was kind of struggling on the how. having character a tell a story to character b is always a bit difficult, in writing, because it can quickly end up being boring. like, when ginny tells harry about christmas last year and lupin, in this chapter, telling that in dialogue is already rather long an laborious, and it’s overall such a short story. for harry, it’s easy. i’m in his head so he can just say ‘he told her about the hallows’ and the dialogue can be about their reaction, rather than the events itself. but ginny, she needs to share facts, as well as feelings. and doing that through long monologues just didn’t appeal. first, it’s quickly boring and second, it’s also kind of ooc. she’s not giulia, you see.

i did entertain the idea of completely skimming past it. ‘she told him about last year and he was horrified.’ - moving on. but, i don’t know, that didn’t feel quite right either, because i think they need to exchange, and talk, and that just felt like a copout. also, to be honest, it’s a very difficult story to tell. like, i’ve seen people in fics being like ‘so, harry sat down all of the weasleys and told them everything the trio did in seventh year,’ and i’m like that’s so difficult, though. sitting someone down and telling them all about your trauma, with little preamble, just setting it all out there, i can’t imagine ginny (or, frankly, most people) actually doing that, you know? we reveal bits of ourselves bit by bit, not all at once.

then, it hit me: she’s a writer, isn’t she? at least, she is canonically in first year, with not only the diary but also the poems, then writing for the prophet. obviously, the diary thing would have riled her up a bit but i do think in the end, she would probably have been like: no, i won’t let him take writing away from me, you know? so yeah, letters. daily letters. you won’t see all of them in next chapter, but probably quotes from the most important ones, things that harry reads. that’s where he gets his facts about her story last year, and then they can focus on their feelings about it. fab! something to look forward to, haha.

now, re: the future. as i said, we are entering act two. act two will gradually become more "fun" and fluffy, i suppose, but i won’t lie, we will be keeping the same happy/sad vibe that a lot of you have commented on with this fic. it exists for a reason (as i said, life is about sex, but it’s also about funerals). as i said before, this fic is, above all, an exploration of what ‘all was well’ actually means.

this being said, this isn’t an 8th year fic. there is a very specific future pov from which this fic is being narrated, and that’s in october 2027 (i know, precise). obviously i have 28 years to get through in act two so that will affect the way that the timeline is designed. it will obviously be more spread out, especially in the later chapters. this being said, while i have about a million of ideas for all the space in between and a very clear view of what the last chapter will be, the exact layout of each chapter is still slightly blurry. i haven’t sat down to put all my ideas in chronological order yet, as well as into some sort of chapter structure, which is also why i can’t really tell if it’ll be six or seven chapters in the end. all of this to say, there’s still quite a bit of work to be done.

this means that, as i said in the a/n, i don’t think you’ll get next chapter until at least, may. please don’t think that this means i’ll be abandoning this fic or anything, it’s just that i’ll be doing work you probably won’t see. i’m probably going to take the rest of march off writing to study (bar maybe a roar-series Harry&Hermione friendship one shot? maybe) then take april to plan and write as much of the next chapters i possibly can. ideally, by the end of april i can have a first draft of the whole thing. i desperately want to write as much as i can now that I’m jobless in the hopes that when i do find a job (again, interview tomorrow, pray for me), i can just have editing to do at the weekends. but we all know i relate to harry on a very deep level when he says ‘when have our plans ever worked, anyway?’ so we will see, haha.

anyway, these were all the thoughts off the top of my head, re: this chapter. if you have any questions or other things you’d like me to ramble about, feel free to send in questions, my ask box is always open. i know i probably think about this fic (and hp) way too much but i’m an extrovert and my hobbies used to include travelling, pints at the pub, dating and, well, there’s none of that anymore, is there, lol? the uk has stolen our vaccines (fucking brexit) so here’s to being obsessed with fictional worlds i wish i could live in for a while longer,

i will now go and endlessly refresh my email for reviews and kudos, like the attention seeking basic bitch i am haha.

have a fab evening, everyone!

[thesparkinthefire]

Ghost - Pedro Pascal x Reader, part 2

A/N: I finally, finally finished this. Wuhu! Part two of the Ghost series (that is turning into a three piece) is here for your entertainment. The musical mentioned later on is called Six and I am referring to the character of Katherine Howard, in case anyone is interested. I tried not to let the musical-nerd take over but I don’t know if that worked. I also wrote a bit about The Mandalorian and will just assume everyone who likes Pedro has already seen that, haha.

Word count: 3,729

Paaring: Pedro Pascal x musical!Reader

Trigger Warning: anxiety, age gap hinted, someone cried a bit

part one

“If there's anything left I can do to convince myself it could be true it's up to me, to suspend my disbeliefs.” - Suspend my disbeliefs, the Ghost cast album

You were nervous. More than that. Your confidence had gone missing two days ago and you started asking yourself why you had even accepted the role in the first place. You were portraying Molly. Molly. The female leading role of a musical based on a movie that everyone had seen. What made you think that it was a good idea in the first place?

Of course you and Oscar, who was playing Sam, had been practising for weeks but the premiere was only two days away. Two day. You had been staring at the script in front of you for ten minutes now. What was the line? This morning, when you had done your first run through you had remembered it but now it was gone – erased from your memory and you couldn't stop asking yourself how you were suppose to remember anything once you were on stage. No, you thought to yourself. Now was not the right time to panic. You just had to go through the whole scene and the line would come to you. Okay, breath. What was the scene?

Molly and Karl were sitting in a restaurant, talking about how she had information about Sam's murder. Sam, as a ghost, was standing beside them. While she was trying to convince Karl to believe what the fortune-teller had said. Suspend My Disbelieves was playing in the background. Molly was telling him the things the psychist had told her – the photo they took in an empty bus, the starfish in Montego Bay – and that Sam knew who killed him. Karl protests and Molly tells him, that she had a name and address and that Sam wants her to go to the police. “The police? Jesus, Molly,” says Karl. “What are you gonna tell them?” Sam talks in the background and Molly-... What does Molly say? Fuck.

It was gone. The line was gone, fucking vanished. You would never be able to do the whole show even though that was what you started with. Acting in a movie was so different to performing in a musical. When shooting a movie you had multiple takes to get a scene right – sometime you would even go back at a later point and rework it, when the writers changed a dialogue or something just wasn't right about it. But when you were doing a musical you normally only had about a month of rehearsals with the cast, before that you learned the songs on your own and had your vocals prepared for the assemble to join you. And then you rehearsed. And rehearsed and rehearsed. But there was no rewind once the show started. No one was gonna yell “Cut!” and ask you to do it again. The audience was right in front of you and they expected nothing less than you doing your job without any mistakes.

Musicals had always been your passion. You had been in music-focused classes in school giving you two extra music lessons a week and joined the school's choir as soon as you were allowed to. You had been taking dancing classes since you were a child. Playing theatre in the long summer holidays and visiting theatre camps. You had been growing up wanting to be a musical actress and your dream had become true when you joined a West End production in London. Your first role was in the assemble, the next was a side character and the next a main. People saw you had potential and they never regretted giving you a chance. Then you had the offer to play the female leading role in a teen-romance movie – before that you had never through about filming movies but you gave it a try and hell. It felt like a dream when they called you to tell you, that the statistics had been going through the roof. From one day to another your life changed completely. That was when you stopped playing theatre and musicals. You moved to California, after you had been offered a role in a promising movie series and then got the part in The Mandalorian. And met Pedro.

You grew up with Star Wars. Your whole childhood had been Star Wars themed – from birthday parties to the prequels in cinema to The Clone Wars series to reading literally every book out there. If there was anything you loved as much as you loved musicals it was Star Wars. You remembered your dad calling you “Padawan” when you were building birdhouses when you were ten years old. You remember presenting a Star Wars book in school. You even did your final oral exam in Spanish about Star Wars just because it was the only thing you could possible focus on other than musicals. So when you had the chance to be part of that universe you took it. Nothing could have kept you from doing it. You knew you would accept it before you even knew what the part would exactly be. When you met John and Dave – who were producing and writing The Mandalorian – you were shaking. You were so nervous that you felt like you were about to shit your pants at any minute, you chugged a whole glass of water during the meeting and just couldn't stop shaking. That's how excited you were. And it didn't get better when they told you about what they had planned for your character.

Aurine Jaxx – your character – was set to become something like the girlfriend to Din Djarin. Not really a girlfriend, because his life and story line was focused about The Child but you were introduced to show even more how much he struggled in between being a Mandalorian warrior and wanting to retire and just be human. You loved Pedro Pascal and how he portrayed Din. Of course you had seen the first season of the show. That scene in the last episode when the droid took his helmet off? Those were the only two minutes when your saw his face all season but the acting in this was fabulous. Messed up hair, trembling lips, shiny eyes – you were able to see how afraid of dying he was, even though it was something he had been confronted with every day of his life since he was a child. You were over the moon to be able to work with him.

Din met the fiance of Aurine in a dubious bar. He asked him to return his soon-to-be wife to him after she had ran away. Din, in need of a job after breaking with the guild, accepted and met her. But soon he found out that she was running from him, not because she was afraid to commit to a life with him, but because he was mistreating her, cheating on her and even threatening to physically hurt her. So Din took her with him instead of bringing her back to the fiance and she stayed. They grew closer and closer and he started trusting her more than anyone.

The scene you were the most nervous for was kissing him. Of course acting with someone who wore a helmet all the time wasn't easy but the kissing scene was way harder. It was set to be at night-time, The Child sleeping in the ship while Din and Aurine sat outside by a small campfire in the middle of nowhere. You had to close your eyes and he placed his hand above them just to be sure you wouldn't be able to look. You remember his hands being cold, contrasting the warm breath in your skin. His lips ghosted over yours, before he kissed you. He was so gentle and shy about it, while you moved a hand into his hair and pulled him closer. Soft lips on yours while his fingers painted feather-light touches on your cheek. Watching the scene back was sending shivers down your spine. Kissing Pedro Pascal wasn't something you ever thought you would. He was such a talented actor that you were almost sure he wasn't acting in that scene, that he had really been nervous to kiss you. Maybe you were hoping for it. But obviously that wasn't the case. He was a brilliant actor.

And now you were here. Back at playing musicals, what you had started with, and you never felt so insecure in your whole life. Confidence was the key to a good stage presence and you had lost it all. So when you got a text from Pedro you basically lost it. All he sent was “How are you doing? Haven't heard from you all day.” but it made you tear up immediately. Without sparing a second thought you asked him, if he wanted to come over because you were about to freak out. “Be there in 15.”

Pedro had a talent for calming your nerves – he had proven that a few times during your time together at press-tour for The Mandalorian. Interviews made you nervous especially if they were live or in front of a huge audience. You were always afraid you might say something the fans wouldn't be pleased with or even accidentally spoiling the show. He made sure you drank enough throughout the day, got enough rest, and always had some sweets for you before an interview to push your blood sugar and stop your hands from shaking. His touch was calming and comforting but made your heart race at the same time. In a good way. Saying, you didn't like being close to him, would be lying. He held your hand at crowded places, had an arm over the backrest of your seat during interviews and sometimes even cuddled with you in cold planes. You have had a few movie nights over the weeks you have been touring, because the hype for the second season was enormous, and they always ended the same: Watching maybe half of the movie before one of you fell asleep. You have been falling asleep on his shoulder and woken up to the beat of his heart.

So it was no surprise to you, that he showed up at your door with a bar of chocolate and two beer. “Do you think alcohol is the thing I need right now?”

“Alcohol calms one's nerves,” he answered with a smile, handing you the beer and the chocolate, after you had let him inside. “You said you were freaking out and I guessed it was because of the premiere, so I brought you something to help you calm a bit.”

“But alcohol is not the best thing for your voice.”

“It is not?”

“Not for your singing voice,” you confirmed, dropping onto the sofa. You put your head back and closed your eyes. You shouldn't be bitching around – you had asked him to come over. “Sorry, I am just stressed. I keep forgetting that one line I have right before the break and the thought that that might happen on stage, in front of the audience, scares me.”

Pedro sat down beside you, gaze wandering over you. “I get that but you are gonna be okay. You are a great actress and do musicals just as well.”

“You have never seen me perform a musical.”

“Internet,” he admitted, causing you to open your eyes and tilting your head into his direction. “Don't look at me like that, you have watched my former projects too. You have basically seen me naked.”

“Well, that's because your projects were big and highly advertised – unlike the small musicals I took part in. You can only watch them because of illegal uploads on YouTube.” Oh, some of those YouTube videos had the potential to drive him mad.

The musical you had gotten a leading role in was about girl power and women realizing, that they should work together and hype each other instead of comparing one another. He loved that message, really, but what he loved more was you. And that little of a costume you were wearing. You were basically in nothing more than tights, a bodysuit and a see-through skirt on stage. Maybe it was fate that no videos of your solo song were online – the song was rather sexy and Pedro didn't know if he would have been able to handle seeing you in that costume, singing about men wanting you.

“I like to do my research on the people I work with.”

You couldn't fight the smile forming on your lips. “I should have done a deep dive into my brain before I accepted the role. Seriously, I don't think I can do it. I might just pass out right before the curtain opens.”

“You will do great,” he assured you.

“I won't.” You got up to get a bottle opener from your kitchen. “I can't even remember that one line.”

“Let me help.” You sat back down, handed Pedro the opener after you had opened you own beer and took a sip. “Which scene are we talking about?” He had the script in his hands already. Oscar and you had him over for practise a few times, so he knew most of the scenes you shared.

“The one where Molly first tells Karl that Sam had been murdered. I know that Sam says something like “Jesus, Molly, what are you gonna tell them?” and then I am suppose to say something but I can't remember it at all. I have been going through the scene a million times now – talking it through, acting through it, but nothing helps.”

“No wonder you don't remember what you are suppose to say.” He laughed quietly and you really didn't know what on earth was funny about that. “You are singing.”

“I am-” All of a sudden the line was back in your head as if it had never been gone. Of course! “Suspend my disbelieves.” Pedro nodded. “Oh, thank god, I am not going crazy!”

“You are gonna have the music on stage that will remind you, that you have to sing – don't worry.”

“That is the problem, you know? I used to not be this worried when it came to musicals. I used to be so confident in what I am doing but it is all gone now. When did that happen?”

“You just haven't performed in front of an audience for a long time. That happens to me too when I go back from cinema and TV to theatre.” You had almost forgotten about that. On one hand you would love to see him in a play, but that would mean he would stay in his home in New York, while you were Los Angeles based right now. You didn't even think about the possibility about him moving back to the opposite side of the country once all deals and meetings for his next projects were done. He had stayed in his LA apartment ever since you met him, except for the time between Christmas and the new year. How were you suppose to survive here without him? “Do you want to sing one of the songs? Music always seems to calms you.”

The question hit you out of the blue but he was right. You had a playlist full of songs that soothed you and you had used it more than once since the rehearsals had started. “Y-yeahr,” you answered, nodded, and moved over to your piano. “Can I sing a sad song?”

“You mean Without You? I haven't heard you sing that one yet.” Of course he had listened to the original cast record. Why haven't you thought about that? Yes, he had heard some songs of the production you were working on, but mainly the ones you shared with Oscar. And there wouldn't be an album for your cast.

“Okay, I will try to do that.”

“You will be great.” His words made your heart skip a beat. How was he able to smooth you with such a simple sentence?

“But you gotta stay behind me – I don't like seeing people stare at me when I sing.”

“Says you, the musical actress?” He had to hold back a laugh.

“Performing on stage in front of an audience of hundreds is something else than performing for one person in my living room.”

“Okay, I'll give you that. Go ahead.” Pedro moved to stand behind you, the beer still in his hand. You sat everything up and took a deep breath before you started the song. It was probably the most emotional moment of the whole show, besides the final. Molly was mourning Sam with that song, expressing the pain of losing him and how she tried to deal with it. Performing it in the play was hard, because you were on the edge of crying for real most of the times. Of course you had lost people close to you in your young life already, but part of the song also reminded you of Pedro and how hopeless your love for him was. He probably saw himself as a mentor of your, I not even a father figure. But you couldn't stop seeing him in front of your inner eyes among the line “Every place I wanna be, I wanna see you there.” You wanted him by your side. You wanted him to be your date for the premiere and the after show party. You didn't want him to go back to New York, you wanted him to stay with you in LA. You wanted him to hold you when times were as stressful as they were right now. You wanted him to kiss you, to wrap his arms around you and to tell you, that no matter what happened, he would be by your side. And you wanted him to mean it. To feel the same. To love you. God, you wished he would love you.

By the end of the song your heart was aching. It was hurting and you were glad, that he didn't say a word for a minute. You could just pretend that you were in your role and he would understand that the song made you sad, because it made Molly sad. But just as you were about to crack a lame joke about it, you heard a sniff. And it didn't come from you. “Are you-” You turned around to see Pedro having his back turned to you, arms crossed in front of his chest. “Are you crying?”

“No.” His voice was shaking. Slowly he turned back facing you, lips curled to a small smile. “Absolutely not.” His eyes were a little red and shiny. He was crying.

“Oh god, I am sorry.” You stood up and went to hug him.

“Just proves what a great actress you are.” He returned it. You closed your eyes, leaned your head against him and took a quiet but deep breath. Was it selfish? Maybe. But perhaps you needed the comfort just as much as he did. Just in a different way. Feeling his warm body against your own. His hair tickled your ear. God, he smelled good. Something you had always liked about him. You couldn't define it, but it was good. Everything about him was good. And you regretted nothing more, than that you had never asked him out, never had made a move on him.

Taglist: @longitud-de-onda

[softestsaddestbitch]

December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him -  so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was. 

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me. 

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there. 

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

[charmed-asylum]

👨‍🍳# FOODIE👨‍🍳

#Foodie, Part 2

Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction

Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, blood, making out, and maybe a dead body or 2??. Also, I do have dyslexia who happens to do her own proof reading so be easy with me!!!

A/N:So who would think after doing a love story I go be switching it up to some sci-fi. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the taglist. Or simple to sit my butt down and stop with the dramatics xoxo Tia

MASTER LIST // Previous Chapter (1) 

Tagged: @weapinggwillowss​ @kittykatlow​ @alagalaska @deansblackbeauty

2 weeks later 

My fingers intertwined with his as he locks and kisses them. He doesn’t know I know but he a snuggle monster the reject monster from Sesame Street. Another secret I love it. We haven’t had much time as I will hope with one another. Even though he was back from the war he still was working as deputy while he was home. I pout like a two-year-old who got denied a brand new toy from a toy store. But we made it work. He moves me close as he whispers praise in my ear in his deep voice that makes me shiver a cool chill.

I only had 15 minutes left of my break with him. God how I miss him. After Janet left me teary-eyed in the abandoned hallway apart of me felt I was in old westerns like I was waiting for her around and draw her guy. That night he came over and hold me as I cried into his strong chest hands wrap as far as I could around his broad shoulders. Each night I founded my self there. Even if I was asleep he sneaks in and holds me. Letting me know he was never gonna leave me. 

He looks down into my eye out time coming to an end with a bit of sorrow regret. Hopping up so I can reach his face I pepper kiss him with each hop. Watching as his smile spread from ear to ear he loves when I did this be my silly tiny self. Knowing he always be my savior. His eyes were dark like midnight sky but were as bright as the sun. Others wouldn’t see this wouldn’t think he was more than a brick wall but he was more. Just like me more than meets the eye. Each day I’m happy god loves me to bring him to me. Bring me someone that made me feel things I never did before. 

“ I gotta go. I was only supposed to drop off another animal to you, baby “ He said in muffled from my lips. 

Lending back hold his hands close , “ Yeah but it was you who  wanted to start kissing me. I’m only here to basket it all this”.

This was been a familiar thing the last two weeks animals found dead somewhere or sick with some type of rabies. Blood from Mr. Fuzzy Bear only adds to the mystery. Blood work consists of an unfamiliar source. I went anymore I know and even the internet god the internet. After weeks of looking non stop trying to find anything to make me more at ease. NOTHING. I wanted to express this to KP but he only tells me to stop worrying.

“ BABY” KP tickle me under my underarms. I twitch and almost trip. “ I was talking and you did that moody thing you do. Is this Janet” he asked. YES NO I DONT KNOW I rub my forehead gently and peek up at him and nod.

I hate lying most importantly very bad at it. Even though he knew it was more he still allowed it to be, this time. 

“ I am taking you out. Show you off. Remind folks who you belong too. Which means I want you to be out this little head of yours. Janet she many things but all with reasoning. Give her time didn’t you say she nods at you other days” KP said. God his voice.

“ Your right probably PMS. Or something. Where we going” I asked looking down. I could hear my name-calling for me and some chaos.

“IAASC I KNOW HE SEXY EYE CANDY BUT GET YOUR ASS IN HERE-OW” Ethan scream out. I giggle and peck his cheek and ran off.

“ I CALL YOU ILY “ I shouted over my shoulder.

He ruffles his thick black hair across his hands as she smirks at me.

“ILY2” He said.

Everything was like walking into the war zone. Ethan was sitting on a chair holding her arm that was gushing blood out and Casey walking back and forth. I swipe up a rabies shot and quickly gave it to her and took her arms into my arms to looks at it. So much blood my arms got painted red. With a finger snap, Casey passes me the 1st aid kit as I dress the wound. Ethan was laughing all while. After thanking Casey ask sending her off for a break treating her like my child even though she was twice my age I gave the tickle me Ethan my attention.

“ You need to go to the hospital. That looks nothing like something seen before where the animal that did it” I asked looking around.

“ Killed it” She said like it was nothing. My eyebrow bent at this as I look her.

“ I need to call KP back he and sheriff can come over and help” I said pulling my phone out my pocket.

“Shit that fucker a bitch. I go okay I go I’m fine I go later. You did everything right by the way. It’s dead. We take it to the trash and that it” She said then look at me finally. I was a mess. To say the least. I bit the corner of my cheek till it bleeds and the iron the mint of him I was chewing on earlier.

Her eyes look glassy and she had a gentle sweat coming down her forehead. Didn’t it bit her not even a half-hour ago? I walk over and grab the bloody towels and help her up to sit down in her office under the AC. Closing the door I look hands it still had traces of her blood on it. I close my eyes and tried to relax. Taking deep breaths I went over to the sink and started to scrum till my hands were bright red from the friction.

“ Is she alright? “ Casey asks poking her head into the exam room. I peak over and back at my hands.

“ Yeah, she huh. Resting. Hey, what even happen that was so like the strange right” I said adding extra words to sound like I wasn’t just obsessing over it.

Casey pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and pluck it in her mouth getting ready to share something.

“ While you were outside smacking lips with Mr fuck for brains and takeout outside” she stops and looks at me.

“ I was upfront talking to Rachel about our lasted book club meeting. And she was talking about this new craze when one of the animals that came in just bounced up to life and start making sounds hissing and shit. Went sideways. The animal was acting all crazy like Bob does when he drank that moonshine and whiskey during October fair of 2003. Anyway, I rushed back and she was swinging at it with a paperweight” she said raking in another inhale of her cigarette. With a few coughs and tap, she looks around before talking some more.

“ You know a lot of shit been happening around here. I have been here all my life sadly and I would know. You know what it is huh?” She said putting her cigarette out with the bottom of her shoe. “ Damn Liberals. Probably put some damn glitter dusk on shit and made folks all crazy “She said as if it was a known fact. Did I not mention she a bit of a blowup doll racist. Try to explain to her just because I look Spanish doesn’t mean I am. Now she always says Ho Lay. Like that means something more than being a bitch. But she Casey and there no one like her.

“ You never know. So where is it now the animal ” I said drying my hands?

“ Out in the front. Sucker ugly mug tosses a blanket over it” Casey said nodding to the front. I nod and look around trying to let everything sit. Before she could walk off I without even thinking grab tight to her arm and pulled her into a hug. My hand ran up and down as I hold her tight.

“ Stay safe. Cas” I said. She chuckled and pat my back before going. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe a part of me knew something was gonna happen. That I was about to head down a steep drop something I will never be able to recover from.

The animal or what was left of it was like Casey said a mess. Scattered with its brains and head mushed. I poke it a few times before taking my pocket knife and stabbing it in the brain just in case. I wasn’t trying to live my life in a horror film. When I took the knife back out there was a strange goo mix with the blood. What the fuck I whisper to myself as I knee down and got closer to look. Just like I thought it was just like Mr. Fuzzy Bear. This was not a dog and this in on ways was a house pet. How strange how can two things so far from one another by going through the same thing. Can it be a generic trait from mammals? Or animals?

Ethan was quiet for the rest of the night. She didn’t move out of her office and when she did she was still sweating and shivering. I knew I promise KP not to worry but I couldn’t.

Me: Promise not to laugh but I have a question

Mi Amore: Haha what up sweetie

Me: Have there been any strange animal behavior or attacks? I know I’m coo-coo 😛😛

Mi Amore: 🤔 idk. Yeah, old man, Nick has been coming about some behavior. But that’s about it. Ur not crazy just crazy beautiful. Y??

Me: Remember when I was called in. Ethan got bite by a stray animal. Just wondering. I miss U  💋 💋 💋 

Mi Amore: Never stop. If you promise to stop worrying I keep an eye on it. And stop by to check out on Ethan tonight or tomorrow. Alright babe

Me: Kk thnx KP 

Mi Amore: ILY let me know when you get home

Me: ILY2  😘

Old man Nick was crazy still believing that aliens were never in Roswell but here. But his word is not so reliable he is married to his chicken Cheryl. I paced around that night in my room thinking trying not to think. He was right I need to stop worrying. I pulled out my pink paper and my fuzzy pens from my desk and sat on my bed and starting to write. Could me not having Janet be making me acting like an old man Nick, god I hope not. So I did what KP did and after my letter to Janet, I decided to not worry about it.

My feet bounce from one to another as I ran across the neighborhood. I felt a bit of sweat coming from under my lavender purple sports bra and forehead. Hair swinging from left to right right to left as I power through. In theory, if I wanted to I could run my whole town form one end to another. Music blast though my Bluetooth Air Pods. As I turn I reach Bloom Ave I made a quick left and push through till I reach a familiar two-story house at the end of the dead street. It sits back in the dirt a bit with a few stubs in the ground that somehow went perfect with the grey clay outer skeleton with huge windows and white curtains and a bright red wooden door. No cars in the driveway weren’t unfamiliar. Janet's mom or body double was always out at the local bar on some table dancing talking about her glory days. Janet hates that and even though she never told a soul she always fears she becomes that. Be stuck in the middle of nowhere no love and memories of when life was fearless Couldn’t ever be like that I told her as sat back on a black and white blanket sipping on my organic lemonade. She smiles and asks why. Because I will be there no quicksand right. She smiles and nods no quicksand.  I wipe my eyes as I came up to the front porch. I knock a few times before I gave up. Hail Mary twisting my neck a bit I look around to the empty street. From the corner of my eye, I could see the shades move. I turn my head around so quickly I got dizzy. I ran towards the window and tap at it. Trying to look in. It was blurry but I can dang sure I saw someone. I called out and bang it a few times. She was not gonna answer. With a exhale I turn and leaned against the window and slide till I was on the ground. I never gave up but this was starting to look like the only thing I could do. Was not doing that stupid drug that big of a deal. More. More I thought about it I got anger mad-sad even. Whipping my eyes with the back of my hand I got up and grab a few rocks. And started hitting the window calling out for her. Pissed I storm in circles across the front door like a madwoman. 

" I don't know what wrong but FUCK IT. YOU KNOW I CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOU DOING THIS IS FUCK UP. BECAUSE OF BLOODY DAMN DRUG. YOU PROMISE ME MOON AND STARS WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. SO IM NOT LEAVING IF I HAVE TO WRITE TO YOU AND LEAVE A FREAKIN LETTER OR CALL I AM. I KNOW SOMETHING FUCKIN WRONG. WHAT WE ARE YES IT IS COMPLICATED AND NOT WAY OF THINGS BUT I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. THIS SHIT CHILDISH. YOU FUCKIN PROMISE J. They all leave me and you promise you won't" I stumble to my knees and hold onto my face with my hands and cried. I can't hate her even when I wanted to I can't. I cry and cry to the point my sweat and tears were blending into one.

Slowly getting up I look at the house once time. I lost. I lost over something so stupid. Crazy as it is if I could go back knowing what I know I still won't take that duck fuckin drug. I would just fight more so Janet wouldn't.

" No quicksand " I whisper before I walk off in defeat.

At work I didn't move much I just sat there listening to Casey about how Ethan couldn't make it something about going to the urgent care next town over. Casey was pleased because it meant she could leave early. Cleaning up the back exam rooms I recognize the towel Ethan used when she got attack day before. FUCK IT. I Peak before I snoop over to the magnifying glass and cup a piece of the towel and took a look. I tried squeezing my eyes but it wasn't close enough DARN I crushed at myself as I ruffle my hair through my hands. Biting the corner of my lip I look over for something anyway. JACKPOT. I rushed over and bent down to go through old equipment until I found the microscope that I remember Ethan told me about when I first started helping out. Sometimes about it not working right but if there one thing I was work with what you got a type of girl. It is I tap the metal table till the light came on. Grabbing the piece of the towel I place it over and fetch my glasses out my chest pocket and kiss my eyes to the lends. At first, it looks right till I saw a few things in the corner that didn't look quite right. The light kept flicking above me with an annoying buzz. Was it stupid yes but who said I was smart. More I tried to focus louder the buzz got. Till the office phone ring making me jump out my damn skin with a loud final act scream. AHHHH.

After a second to realize it was the phone, I quickly answer it. Hello, I said slightly out of breath. I heard heavy breathing. I repeated my self. Still nothing but heavy breathing. This isn't funny I said about to poop a golden egg. Still, it was heavy breathing. I can't hear you breathing I said looking around second-guessing every life decision I ever made. I gonna hang up I said but something stops me. Three words. No QUICKSAND. My eye widens Janet. I scream into the phone for her a bit excited and more so worried. But all I got was a dial tone I tried to call her but she didn't answer.

Each night around the same time the same message those three words. Of course, I tried to make her say anything else but no. My mind races trying to figure it out till each time I came to the same conclusion, she did not want my help or worst she could not ask for it.

I tap my foot as I look at my planner trying to figure out what to wear for my date with KP today. Strawberry favor purple teddy bear he got me on our first date sat on my lap between my thighs. He did tell me much but just it was a casual date no restaurant this time. We need that a few times when he was in school ones out of town. I liked those I could be anyone I wanted to be even though I could only drink the bottled water and had to bring omg own food. If they didn’t have things like organic apples. The third one we did he told me of his dream ones that included me. I like those a lot. Even after the two years when he went off to the army to take down the bad guys. Each letter you write adventures about life we were gonna have. I told him I didn’t care just wanted him there to hold me and love me. Stupid I know but stuck in a small town you can get caught up in those dreams.

After a few minutes of debating I pick up my feet push and turn around and around in my chair holding the hand of teddy. Hoping off after a few turns around I click on my radio and just decide to go with the flow whatever I was feeling. REMEMBER A DAY BY PINK FLOYD starting to play. I bop my head and shake my hips as I look through my denim.

Remember a day before today

A day when you were young.

Free to play alone with time

Evening never comes.

Toss a blue denim skirt with a beach wave cut on the bottom and round bottoms on the front. I lose myself in the beat that was creeping through my soul. Singing off-key look over my shoulders and pull out short sleeves stripe blue and black with a hint of the orange shirt.

Climb your favourite apple tree

Try to catch the sun

Hide from your little brother’s gun

Dream yourself away

I walk backward as I sang with my teddy in my hands the outro plucking out my round black shades to complete the outfit. Licking my lips I look into the mirror with items place in front to imagine how it would look. Something was messing I look behind and saw one of his old button-ups he left one night he stayed. Taking I deep breath in I look up to my ceiling knowing if things go well maybe I go a step forward. Or maybe not.

He came at exactly at 12 o clock. Rolling up in his 2010 Black Ford Raptor with the music blasting. I hope up without thought ran over as soon as it stops. Before I could get in I saw a few blankets on the passenger seat. Peaking up I saw him staring at me with those intoxicating midnight eyes that match his thick cut on side and swoosh in the front black hair. That I love to tug and play with between my dainty fingers. His smile was so wide that it shows off his perfect pearly whites. Reaching closer I smile into a kiss and I felt a lift as he pulls me in and into his lap. To deepen our kiss the taste of his toothpaste and hint of orange juice he must have had before coming over. Recently he taught me the fun of French kissing and art of a tongue. Pulling his bottom lip with my teeth I glance at him his strong muscular hand grip tight to my thigh.

“ Looks like someone wearing my clothes again” He said rubbing little patterns on my thigh with his index finger.

“ Want me to take it off and give it back. Baby” I asked playfully. With one last glance and shook his head no and tilt his head to look at me.

“ You know it drives me crazy seeing you wear my stuff. Let’s not forget the football jersey incident” he reminded me. It was 1st time I allow him to fell my thigh and butt. Thought alone brought a heat running down my body. Something Janet told me was normal. Playing with his hair I look down at what he was wearing. Black jeans with a red t-shirt an leather jacket.

“ So this the big date. Just sitting in your car. I could have told my parents we were staying for lunch then” I said playing with the collar of his jacket.

He ponders the question for a bit before he started to laugh. Picking me up he helps me over to the passenger seat. Left his right hand on my thigh and drove off with his left hand. After a few minutes, I wrap my hand with his and lean back and look at him as he drives. Few times he will peak over even throwing me a silly face which I then gave a few my own. Got to a light I peak out to the street. Crazy for a Saturday the usual busy with folks at the town square or at the farmer market that would be along Main Street it was pretty much close to deserted. Looking back as we drove off I sat back and ponder about it.

“ Did Bucks say anything about not having his produce today?” I asked.

“ Huh yeah sweetie it was postponed. Something happened to some of his vegetables. Think some kids piss on them. There also that beauty pageant in San Pedro. Took a bus over to watch” He said to bring my hand to kiss.

“ Yea yea I forgot. You know with Ethan gone. I feel like I’m working all alone forgetting the days. Where we going “ I asked.

“ Don’t worry we almost there. Would you put that scarf around your eyes it a surprise? Isaac” he said.

I took the red plaid scarf and wrap it around my eyes. The realization was starting to dawn on me besides our movie dates or him staying with me at night. This was our first date since he came back. Worried wasn’t even the word for it my whole body became snuffled with nerves. My mouth was dry and my neck felt warm.

“ Hey hey you okay,” he asked with a serious tone. I nod yes and hold on to his bicep tight.

“ Sorry just excited. Is all” I whisper holding on.

I didn’t know where I was but I felt the ground being a bit rough against my converse. One hand-grip tight to his other feeling my way. I could feel the moisture from the air and leaves. Before u even lifted the scarf I knew we were at our special hideout in Lover Lane.

Close behind me, he squeezed my shoulders gently as he whispered words of sweet nothing. I felt like Alice walking through wonderland. What if I look clearly through the darkness between the glitter and tiny rainbows I could find mad hatter drinking morning tea or the queen of hearts out by her garden w brush covered in red paint. Endless wonders who will I be would I be Alice full of innocence and wonder, the white rabbit who always running with of anxiety, Chester cat who full of the finger brings back cross and a smile with a bit of darkness inching to come back or maybe just a poor bystander. Most say I could pick out those three or add one in but today I didn’t know.

The blindness of the light brought me back from that rabbit hole of thoughts. Blinking a few times to adjust I saw a blur of trees and blue sky. It was beautiful right in the middle among all the flowers and grass was a big red planet blanket with a wicker basket in the center.

“ Surprise My Ama. Like it” KP said with a huge grind with his hands stretch out as far as possible. I didn’t know tears were coming down till KP came over to kiss them away. I hold his hand tight and kiss his hand before kissing each finger and look deep into his deep space eyes.

“ Did I do something why are you crying?” KP said a bit worried. I felt my lips playing peek a boo with teeth. I wish I knew why I was crying. I don’t even know anymore.

Instead of the truth I pull KP by hand and pull him onto the blanket before I let go and lay across. I curl my finger and motion for him to come over to sit by me. He lay his head on my lap. Right by edge of my skirt and he help right with his head facing my lower stomach. Playing with his hair between my fingers I came close and kiss his forehead gently. He holds me close and mumbles something. Maybe today I’m Alice before she found that hole.

The sun felt so good again my smooth rich terra- cotta skin. My hair was slip to the side taking in the sun raises. I could here KP reading from his old worn-out copy of The Last Man in the background still laying on my lap. He always had a fascination with Pre-American Gothic and an unseen classic from popular authors. Could read anything that was calming may you forget the world around you and drunk of his voice capturing his presence. Once he read House of Leaves to me when we were both in head and sound like a lullaby.

What is there in our nature that is forever urging us on towards pain KP read.

I bent down in front of the book to block any of the words and cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him. Putting the book beside him he returns the kiss and pulls in deeper and turns me over to he was on top. My head rests on my honey scent shampoo hair. I could smell the woody scent of his Guilty Pour Homme Spray by Gucci he always put on. He moves his hand to crest cheek eyes match my woods brown eye with his. I could feel something hard pressuring against my thigh. With a sigh, I look at him and then down. Once again. As if he could read my thoughts he slowly pulls away.

“ Should probably not continue this before we are both in trouble huh baby?” KP said in his deep chocolate voice. I slowly nod and place my hands against his side and rub it against the pants being the only thing stopping me to go further. I need an escape something to stop my thoughts stop me from jumping face-first onto the hole. I felt moving his hips with movement with my palm. Kiss trace down my neck gently I curve into his touch wanting more. God, he knew how to make this girl feel good. His hands while rough with warn and tares always was gentle. Without thought I let out a sigh as we continue till out nowhere I thought I heard some birds. A lot of birds. Opening my eyes corner of my sight I see a family of birds flying in a flock west of me. I bent my head back as I follow the birds until they disappear. My mind drifts off to where they were going what would they do once they are there.

“ Ama I gotta tell you something alright something very important and I need you to listen can you do that” KP asked as he kisses my neck some more. I nod and mouth yes.

“ You know when I left I thought I was strong I thought I was brave. I wanted to protect you so badly from all evil all darkness I went onto war. But honestly, it’s not what I thought baby. The world we live in full of chaos more I tried to fix it stay in line I found my self missing you thinking what if I stay with you” KP said and continue to kiss me between my chest. Feeling brought old feelings I haven’t felt in more a year ago.

“ This world needs order. And I can’t do it all alone. Many nights I was barley holding thinking of ending my life but I got your letters and face times. If it wasn’t for you I will be lost in this huge empty world. I have been thinking and well what if after you graduate we leave pack all your shit and leave. Nothing d holding us back” KP said. I blink and look at him he stops kissing me and look back up at me with huge night sky eyes. I could hear some strange noises from behind me. KP was still speaking and all I could do was stare at him with drunk haze eyes.

“ Would you run off with me?” KP asks turning to go get up to look at me. No words can describe the look in his eyes passion fear worry lust doubt. Galaxy with million and one thoughts hiding in plain sight. Could I leave and blindly follow him into the unknown future. FUCK YEAH, I WOULD that promised I gave him so long ago.

Before I could say anything everything happens in a flash. The gravity pull was distracted in a minor of seconds. I felt him pushed my down covering me with his chest I look and I could feel something wet. Stumbling back on the blanket my breath gets shorter and I start to feel dizzy my fingertips were numb I felt like the more I tried to breathe more I fell deeper into the darkness. Then were the two muscle arms scooping me up from behind?

“ ISAAC ISSAC AMA AMA BABY BABY LOOK AT ME. Come one before you go into shock “ KP shout out. I look away from the body and at him. His thick finger covers my flushed cheeks. I slowly start to nod and look back at the body.

“ Is he.... is he dead we gotta do -“ I stop as I could see man chest rising a bit he was saying something. I let go and slowly follow the mumble I was a foot away before I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me. I couldn’t freak out not like before a deep breath in I slowly turn back around.

“ Not safe. Take my phone get services and called for help” KP said in his deep savior voice he does when he serious. I glance back at the body. It gosh out blood to point you couldn’t tell where the actual puncture wound was. Where was it that was gonna be on his death certificate. From where I was it looks like his had puss and some strange black markers. He spoke to me but I did not answer him instead I remain quite till I heard the 911 operator.

“ He Hello. Yes huh, this is huh Amaryllis Isaac Smith I’m with my boyfriend Kindred Phillip” I could hear KP be reaping the word deputy. I nod and look at him he was hovering over the body almost studying it. “ Deputy Sargent Phillip. We are huh mm KP where are we” I stop and scream again where are we.

“ Lover Lane South East entranced a quarter-mile away from the lake. TELL ME THE PEEK A BOO SPOT they will know” He shoot out.

I repeated words word by word what he said. I heard the words by I couldn’t answer.

“Yes, there a man baby hurt. PLEASE HURRY” I said. Placing my hand to the phone I look at KP. “ Is he breathing KP “ I shout out. I couldn’t see one of his hands he was knee down to the body his back facing me. I waited but he didn’t answer just slowly got up and brush his hands on his thighs and grab the phone.

“ He dead. We wait to cops come. Maybe an ambulance my girl she a bit shook up. That’s okay Baby ... Baby” KP asked looking down at me. I couldn’t breathe anymore my hands wrap around his broad shoulder for my dear life my right cheek pushed onto his chest till I could hear his heart. Far away by the now dead body, I saw flames surrounding it. Tears gently fell more flames the closer I pulled into him till my vision was blur form fabric of his shirt. With one last breathe I was free-falling down that hole.

[onceuponatimewithhaleigh]

Time to catch up!

I'm so sorry I kinda vanished! Well, I didn't kind of vanish. I straight poofed. So I'm going to catch you guys up on what's happened since the start of August. Quite a lot has gone on, and I needed to kinda - I don't really know? Mentally I was just gone. Like August happened? I don't remember it. But anyhow here we go!

My Skin Spot:

Not cancer! My doctor so politely told me "Sometimes spots just pop up as we... get older." So. Guess I'm just gonna have some serious blemishes the older I get. Haha! I mean, not going to lie, I'm salty about it. But I'd rather be 'getting old' than have cancer. So that's all good!

Meeting with Dr. Lak:

Doctor Lak is my future surgeon for my gastric bypass. She's really really nice. Super friendly and super supportive. She got me all setup - so I have a slue of appointments made. Due to my insurance, I have to see a dietitian for six months consecutively before I can have the surgery. I also have to pass a nicotine test. So - I have to quit smoking ASAP. Which, I need to anyhow. (more on my smoking at the end lol) but overall she was absolutely fantastic!

College(Part One):

Before classes started I talked to my amazing Academic Advisor, Kathrine - and I told her some of my interests and my plans for after college. And we both kinda poked around at my minoring in Photography. To me, that wasn't really enough, so I am now a double major!

OBGYN:

I haven't said anything here, but I have plans in becoming a mother as soon as my health permits. Now I am not in a relationship, nor do I plan to be. I want to be a single mother. Some people think I'm absolutely bat-shit crazy for that. But I think, for me that is the best thing. I have an extremely supportive family, and I have zero doubt in my mind that my child will be loved as much and so much more than they'd ever possibly need! The issue here was A. my weight. B. my family has a history of fertility issues. C. I have PCOS. D. I don't have a partner haha, Kinda need two to tango ;) That all being said, I had mentioned this to my OBGYN, who retired randomly on me in March(with no notice - canceled pre-existing appointments, and with no doctors accepting new patients). I had been telling him about bad pains I'd been having for a while, and he never really listened to me or made any move to investigate. I did my own research, as well as spoke to people about it - and thought I may have Endometriosis. I brought my thoughts to him. He shrugged and said "That's probably it." and made Z E R O effort to figure it out. After three months of pain being horrible to the point sometimes when I was driving, I'd have a flare-up and I'd have to pull over because the pain was so bad I couldn't breathe or see. Then he retired. Then there were no doctors accepting anyone new. So. FINALLY - August 10th I get into a new OBGYN, Dr. Curtis. The first impression was "dudes young and super hip this is gonna be weird..." I'm weird when it comes to doctors, but doctors messing around down there I'm even weirder LOL. I feel like if my OB was a woman there's some weird competition 'Mines prettier...' I have no idea don't judge me xD I told him my wants and things and he told me sadly some older doctors just don't care. they're very black and white. And he was spot on. He told me I probably don't have endometriosis. Put me back on birth control, told me to have the gastric surgery, and then he'd get me in for an exam, and he'd get me to a fertility clinic. He supported me 100% in wanting to become a single mother. He did say that I was the youngest he'd ever seen himself, but he had no issues moving forward with me doing that. Told me a year after surgery, he'd get me to a clinic and we'd get me a baby xD

Dietitian:

My dietitian's name is Andrea, and guys, I love her. She is so goofy as scatterbrained it makes me giggle! I learned a lot during that call though! (all my appointments with gastric have been on the computer/phone) So, this hospital does post-surgery stuff differently than any others in the area, and they've found it's got the best results. So after surgery, I'd usually be on a liquid diet for 6 weeks. Which is standard. Nope! Not here! After surgery, I'll be on a pure protein diet. Not shakes- PUREAED MEAT. How gross right? Meat slushie anyone? Gag lol She goes "Everyone seems to love the pureed eggs" and I literally gagged in the call xD This is gonna be the death of me. Another thing that had me completely shook was that with a stomach the size of an EGG after surgery, I still have to drink 64oz of water a day. She said I can only drink 2oz at a time. So I basically have to take a shot of water every 10 minutes ALL DAY LONG. But! I can't drink anything at all for 30 minutes BEFORE I eat, I can't drink WHILE EATING(which I have to eat 3/4 a cup over 45 minutes-_-), and I can't drink shit for 30 minutes AFTER I eat. So. This shit's gonna be wild man. I'm excited but anxious as hell. And for the rest of my life, I'll be taking vitamin supplements.

Weight:

Currently, my weight is 417lbs

College(Part Two):

So. Friday(Aug. 28th) before the term starts, I have a massive breakdown. That Monday the first week the course was available to look at. We could submit anything, but we could go in and do the work and submit it later. Well. I got in there in my Introduction to Liberal Arts(IDS-100), and boooyyy did I overreact. :) I freaked out. I got overwhelmed because my IDS-100 professor is a very longwinded man. The email I had gotten made everything seem way way more complicated than necessary. And I basically went into spiral mode. 

'is a college education reallllyyyy that important?'

'What's the point?'

'I'm gonna fail anyhow, so why try?'

'My family will think I'm a failure...'

'I shouldn't even try, so I don't fail.'

A whole slue of shit thoughts went through my head, and I took it, man. That little demon in my brain just bitching "Never good enough. Not smart enough! Failure." And I sat there and took it like a little bitch. I got so bad I called my advisor, Good ole Kathrine, and LUCKY FOR ME; she was busy and didn't answer. I had the ability to talk to another advisor, but I didn't wanna sob into a stranger's ear so LOL. I called my dad when I was balls deep into a panic attack, and he came down and talked me out of it, and then told me he'd sit with me when I do classwork so he can help if I need it. Which, It's not really that I need help, I was worried about my comprehension of the information I read in class. Because I'm a very visual learner and one of those that talks shit out. And being online, I'm alone in my room so uh lol But yeah. He talked me down, got me all calmed down. Then the next day, my advisor called and asked why I'd called and she apologized for not being available and I laughed and told her straight "It's better you were busy, Cause I'd have dropped out." and she was shocked. Told her all of what happened and what was going on in my head and she told me she was gonna set up weekly appointments with me after each module opens. a new module opens every Monday. and she said she was gonna call me every Tuesday. I went on a spiel about how I feel ridiculous cause I'm being a burden. And she squashed that thought hella fast. So long story short. I am so blessed to have a support system between my dad and my wonderful advisor Kathrine. Lol

Boooo:

I gained a new allergy and lost an old one. I have no idea how that worked. But. No longer allergic to Soy. But now have a TERRIBLE reaction to all dairy products... Which fuckin blows because I live in Wisconsin, and I L O V E cheese. -_- Cheese hates me. :(BYE GUYS!

Whoops!

Forgot about the smoking bit, this is an Edit lmao Basically - TOTALLY thought I could drop smoking cold turkey cause that's how I'd done it every time I'd quit smoking before. Welp. Not this time :) I was a raging bitch, and a HORRIBLE migraine that was so bad I couldn't do ANYTHING. And to top it all off, I had a panic attack lol So. It's the time of year I usually start to quit anyhow. I'm so weird. I'm a seasonal smoker. Living in Wisconsin I am NOT keen on smoking in below zero temperatures in winter. I'd like to keep my fingers. This year I started smoking earlier than usual because I was out of state where freezing winter temperatures were a minimum of like, 37*F and I'm like *cackles in Wisconsinite* CHILDS PLAY!!! So, I started smoking again in December lol Anyway, now- my dad's in control of my smokes. He gives me my daily allowance in a ziplock bag which made me laugh so fucking hard because just like I actually said to him "I feel like you're my dealer and I'm sneaking something naughty!" lol Right now I'm aloud 10 a day. Which is probably 3-5 less than I usually smoke a day. So. I'm kinda feeling it. But my dads controlling them. So this should be fun. :) That's all! Bye guys!

[prorevenge]

The wrath of the stoner art student.

So I think this would count as pro revenge because I planned it kinda. A bit long, sorry bout that first time really posting this anywhere. TL:DR at the end.

Things to note:

As the title says I'm an art student, I live with my parents while I'm on college to cut living expenses.

Couple of years ago my dad had a security system installed that came with two camera to set up. One pointed at the side door and drive way. One pointed at the street by the front door. So you can see the cars. It has an app we all installed on our phones that gives us alerts.

I also have this shed I asked my parents if I could use for most of my art as it gets messy. I would always clean up after myself but paint still stains the carpet and if I had to smell that tangerine floor cleaner one more time I was gonna barf. I fixed it up a bit, still looks crappy but it's mine. took about two weeks to set up.

We also have a problem of people going through cars....a lot...like ridiculously so. I have a crap ford tempo that I never kept anything important in so I didn't care.

The incident:

As I said I have an art shed and I'm a student of the visual communication program in my local college. My professor had given us our term assignment which was basic but fun. Pick a piece that was in the text book and either write a 10 page essay on it or do a recreation with a two page blurb of how you copied the techniques yada yada.

I was stoked because van Gogh was covered in there and I wanted to do a piece called "cafe terrace" it's a gorgeous piece. And I put a lot of time and effort into this thing...and smoked a lot of weed while doing it haha.

But one night my phone gives me am alert from the security system while I'm at a small party (get together? ) and I see a blurry image of the three teens running past my side door. I thinks odd but I wasn't home to check it out immediately.

When I get home from being driven by a friend from a party I get back to see my car door ajar and i roll my eyes because it's annoying but not new. But then I remember the alert on my phone and went to check around the house. Check the shed last because there's a lock on it, it'll be fine right? I live in canada who is gonna break into my shed ha..hahaha

When I get to my shed it's trashed. Lock on the ground. The material I hung up to over the ceiling was ripped and burned. All works of art I put on the walls were ripped down. My paint was everywhere and my pastels were stomped on. They even broke my fucking little shitty stool I nicknamed hermet.

But the worse was my term project was destroyed, cut apart and then repeatedly smashed.....with my mother fucking bong. My 9mm glass beaker bong that I got as a present. Two weeks before I had turn that fucking project in.

I was livid.

The revenge:

I was able to get a weeks extension as I emailed my professor and sent him photos including the security alert and contacted the police about the destruction of property (still can't get over them looking at my shattered bong and me just whipping out my green card to be safe)

Clean up was a couple days and I did manage to turn my project in on time without the extension by just not going to sleep. First one was better but hey.

I was still pissed tho. I kept thinking of ways on how to catch them or lure them in and scare the crap out of them. So...I left change (loonies and twoonies stuff they would go for) and fives in my cars console. Left my doors unlocked and at the front of the house. I turned on that camera (as it had been off for a while because it would go off a lot) And I kept a bat in the shed and the side door. No guarantee that's it'll be the same idiots but I keep hoping. A few people picked my car but it wasn't those turds so I waved it off.

A month later and a Few days after my finale exams I'm in the shed at 2am smoking, and sketching something when the alert goes off. It's the front camera and I see three familiar looking blurs ransacking my car. I grab the bat and before I set out I hear them coming towards my shed. I flick the string of lights off and I let them get closer before I jump out with a bat in hand.

One of them screams so loud before they book it and I run after them to scare them away. I'm bad a running and fully expect them to outpace me

But one of them cut across my front lawn and slipped on wet grass. He bifs it and I catch up to him and grab him by the back of his hoodie with the bat threatening him

"WERE YOU THE ONES WHO TRASHED MY SHED?!"

"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I WON'T DO IT AGAIN"

"THE FUCKS YOUR NAME?"

"MATTHEW" his name was not Matthew

"GIMME YOUR FUCKING WALLET"

The dude throws it's and I let go of him to retrieve it and he runs off. whatever.

I pocketed my five plus what I'm assuming was another 40 bucks of stolen money. Took a look at his wallet and his high school id with his real name was there. Fbed his mom and told him what happened and emailed the school as well, mentioning I was a previous student there and that I was "devastated" that this how the school teaches children.

haha

The mom turned up at my door with another mom and a older dude and the three turdlings. They had to apologize to me in person.

Isn't that nice?

(also think my prof gave me a few more points than I deserved on the piece I submitted just because of what happened. Bless you soul Clint. That painting was shit but you gave me 82/100 anyway)

again sorry this was long

TL;DR: Punk kids go through my shed and trash it. Lure them back in a month later and chase them a baseball bat.

(source) (story by PretentiousBanana)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 068: Get In Loser, We’re Going Shopping

Previously on BnHA: We spent entirely too much time on Mineta and all you need to know is that he passed the final despite my best efforts at sending my Mineta-crushing energy out into the universe. Kirishima, Satou, Mina, and Kaminari did not pass, because sometimes life just hits you hard and shit’s not fair. Aoyama straight up asked Ochako if she was in love with Deku and she was like KYAAAAAA and flew away in embarrassment and ended up handcuffing Thirteen on her way out. I don’t know why we couldn’t have seen Iida and Ojiro’s exam instead of Mineta’s, but they also passed. Basically everyone did except the four I already mentioned. And Tomura made a couple of new friends.

Today on BnHA: Tomura meets Dabi and Toga and tries to kill them! Kurogiri sets him straight and Tomura slinks off to sulk. Aizawa announces that Kaminari, Kirishima, Mina, Satou, and Sero have all failed the exam, but that everyone will be going to the training lodge anyway because he loves plot twists. The kids of class A (minus a few holdouts) go to the mall. Everyone splits up. Deku meets some creepy guy in a hoodie. The creepy guy in the hoodie turns out to be fucking Tomura because of course it is.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 137 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

  apparently Tomura doesn’t like his new friends

“it seems like the two types I hate the most came as a goddamn set” lol. and that’s saying a lot coming from a guy who so far seems to hate mostly everything

basically he doesn’t like bubbly creepy girls or rude assholes

dude even you have to admit they’re better than Stain though

Kurogiri says they should hear them out and that the guy that introduced them is a fairly influential broker. so that’s the hipster guy we saw earlier

this guy wants Kuro to pay him either way lol

okay so now they’re being introduced

holy shit

blood-draining. that’s nice

her name is Toga. she’s crazy and she likes killing things

and now he’s introducing Inside Out. this guy is extremely intriguing to me already and he hasn’t even said anything yet. let’s see what he’s all about

lol I already like him. he reminds me of that redshirt bad guy in Iron Man 3 who surrendered to Tony without a fight and was all “I hate working here anyway”

his name is Dabi. or rather, he says that right now he goes by that name

Tomura wants to know his real name and he’s like, ~too bad~

(ETA: okay so I know that there is a prominent fan theory about this guy’s true identity due to his quirk, his appearance, and the fact that he keeps his real name under tight wraps. and also, I think, due to one particularly odd moment in chapter 82. but I’m gonna refrain from commenting about said theory until I’m caught up with the manga, since I’d like to have the full picture first. as of now, my feelings on this are a solid, “I guess he could be?”)

I really like this guy. even though his name immediately made me think, “MASTER HAS GIVEN ME A SOCK”

to be honest I’d be a whole lot more on board with you doing it than him

uh oh Tomura is triggered by someone talking about Stain. he’s probably the only guy who hates him more than I do lol

wow this motherfucker is charging at my man Dabi now with full intent to disintegrate him for no reason

oh damn

thanks for that, Kurogiri. keeping that peace. Villain Mom

interesting panels showing all three of their hands here

obviously we already know Tomura’s quirk (or part of it), but Dabi’s hand is definitely doing something here too. and Toga’s holding a knife that she seems to have produced out of nowhere. she reminds me of that crazy bodyguard girl in Kill Bill

Kuro’s telling the kids to stop fighting in the backseat

he says Tomura need to expand their organization if he wants to achieve his goals

??

fine, be that way you cryptic assholes

(ETA: it’s a little more clear in the Viz version and the anime subs that he was talking about Stain. basically, take advantage of the PR push he gave you, even if you don’t like that it came from him.)

now Tomura’s storming off, presumably to sulk

ah well. as far as things go, that probably could have been worse

the broker guy is saying that Tomura is too young. yep. but he’s All for One’s son so what are you gonna do

(ETA: he’s adopted)

Kurogiri is so fucking polite and smooth

this is why I said he was a doctor

cut to U.A.!

aww

no lodge for you

Deku is trying to give them hope but Kaminari’s not having it

did he actually poke Deku in the fucking eye

here comes Aizawa!

so they’re all sitting down to wait for their exam results

Aizawa says some of them have failed

oh my god

THIS FUCKING GUY. I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T LET KAMI AND KIRI AND MINA BE LEFT OUT OF THE ANTICS. AND SATOU TOO EVEN THOUGH HIS PERSONALITY HASN’T BEEN AS WELL-ESTABLISHED YET. THAT’S WHAT LODGE ANTICS ARE FOR!!

Aizawa says that everyone passed the written exam, but that the aforementioned four and also Sero (who fell asleep) failed the practical

haha

he just wants to make it clear that all of the senseis could kick their asses, so don’t go thinking you’re hot shit

this fucking guy

did All Might get that memo lol

yay I’m so happy

Iida’s standing up and says that if Aizawa keeps pulling this shit, they’re never going to fucking trust him again

Aizawa is like yeah, true, I’ll think about that

he’s not going to think about anything. he’s going to keep right on pulling this shit

he does say that things are gonna be rougher for the kids that failed, and that they’ll have supplemental lessons

but I agree with Ojiro here!

except for Mineta! but we can just pretend like he’s not there!

they all need to go out and buy some of the things on their packing list, so Hagakure suggests that they all go shopping together!

look at these cute reaction bubbles omfg

(ETA: Mineta’s bubble was so conveniently placed for me to crop him out, how nice)

Bakugou’s mom buys all his stuff, sorry Kirishima

THE KIDS ARE AT THE MALL

THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE WHY DID KHR NEVER DO STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS

I HOPE THEY’RE NOT SWARMED BY THE MEDIA

I’M SAD MY ANTISOCIAL EXPLODEY SON OPTED OUT AND MY GENTLE GOLDILOCKS SON WENT TO VISIT HIS MOM BUT OH WELL

HAS IIDA EVER LOOKED MORE FORTY YEARS OLD IN HIS LIFE THAN HERE IN THIS PANEL WHERE HE’S WEARING A POLO SHORT AND SLACKS AND CARRYING A MESSENGER BAG

FUCKING LISTEN TO THESE SALES PITCHES OMFG

YOU WITH THE MASSIVE CALVES!!!!

LMAO HE PROBABLY WAS LOOKING TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF KHAKIS

Deku’s looking around excitedly like he’s never been to the fucking mall before

oh shit, barely two minutes there and they’ve already been recognized

probably would have been even worse with Todoroki and Bakugou there

GASP

I’m a simple girl. I see a panel of these two being lesbians, I click the “like” button

Kirishima suggests that they split up, and all of a sudden Deku and Ochako are all alone and being cute and awkward

dammit Aoyama you broke her

now that she’s off on her own she’s thinking “that’s not it... probably!”

okay. it would be fine if it was, but I ship you more with Iida and Deku’s in love with Kacchan so

hmm there’s a panel of Deku all alone surrounded by people and feeling vaguely unsettled

how eerie

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hasldkghalsihoihlk

holy fucking shit. right out in the fucking open. he’s got his bare hand on him. he could kill him instantly right here

shit shit shit shit shit

shit shit SHIT SHIT SHIT

I’M FREAKING OUT??!?!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHIT

HOW DID PEOPLE READ THIS CLIFFHANGER AND SURVIVE FOR THE WHOLE FOLLOWING WEEK HOLY SHIT

 the bonus is just a quick blurb about Toga and how difficult she is to draw. you really think I care about that right now??? jesus.

(ETA: actually it was apparently supposed to be the Mineta costume page for this chapter, and the Toga page for the next chapter. of course, I’m even less interested in the intricacies of Mineta’s costume. so)

[canaryatlaw]

alright. well. today was pretty good, despite the fact that I didn’t get to sleep in because I get to sleep in pretty much every other day anyway? (summer is wild, y’all). But yeah I woke up hella early because I left my window open last night since it was hot AF in my apartment (welcome to July with only a window A/C unit and not central air conditioning) and for some reason our neighbor has chickens???? why?? Idk, but they were making a lot of noise this morning and they woke me up, so I got up and closed the window and tried to fall back asleep but it wasn’t happening so I was like welp, guess I’m up now so I got my laptop and messaged Jess because we left off with plans at “text me when you wake up” but of course neither of us anticipated me actually being up this early voluntarily (or semi-voluntarily, I guess) so shortly afterwards I got dressed and she came and picked me up and we started our adventures for the day. The first stop was mcdonalds, because breakfast, and that’s like, the only place we get breakfast from lol. then we had semi-gps-woes and there was an asshole honking at us and then pulled up next to us and was being rude and I really wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves (as you learn to do in driver’s ed in New York) (I’m not kidding that was part of the program) but I knew it would make Jess anxious so like a good friend I did not do that. But we eventually progressed to Target, where we wasted time looking at clothing we did not intend on buying, then I got liquid plumbr (which is actually spelled like that) because the drain on our tub has not been working well, and picked up a prescription. I also needed to go to the post office because I had a super heavy box full of bar exam prep books I had to ship back to the bar prep company because they were the New York books and they just sent me the Illinois books so I had to send the NY ones back, because apparently they want them all back in the end even when they’re all marked up and shit??? Idk man. But since we were making our way to the apple store we aimed to go to a post office on the way south to that, and it ended up being somewhat close to wrigleyville and it was a game day which means parking was a mess, so Jess sat in the car with the hazards on while I ran inside to get this package sent as quickly as possible. It was totally empty at first with like nobody even behind the counter and I was like ?? but then a guy came up and was like “oh sorry I didn’t see you over there” because I was standing by the sign that said line up here but it conceivably could not have been in sight of where he was so no worries. Jess told me that if it was all books I could send it “media mail” and it would be a lot cheaper because it was super fucking heavy (when the same box filled with the equivalent books came it said it was 27 lbs) so it ended up being $14 instead of $25, so that was a win. From there we actually went down to the apple store, because last Sunday Jess’ gps on her phone stopped like responding to when you’re moving and like refusing to reroute if you deviate from the route it wants you to take like at all and these are of course problems when you rely on such things to get around the rather big city you live in, so we parked and walked inside, we hadn't made an appointment or anything so they said the wait time was gonna be like an hour to an hour and a half (which made me wonder if maybe I should’ve just ran down there with my Mac last Saturday after it got wet instead of just looking at appointments but whatever) but we could like walk around and they’d text when they were ready for us, so we went outside and looked at the surrounding stores, we were gonna go to starbucks at first but then realized they didn’t have any seating or bathroom which we were looking for at that point so we ended up going back into the apple store to use the bathroom since I knew how to do that from the time I was there a few weeks ago, then we walked over to where the forever 21 was nearby, it was a freestanding one, not like in a mall or anything, which I thought was kind of different from them, but whatever, it was a huge two story place so there was plenty to browse through. My weakness of course is floral dresses which I already own a shitton of but they have a million of this time of year and there was a really cute one on sale and it ended up being like more on sale than I even though originally so it came out to like $4.96 which I mean??? that’s pretty awesome, so I was pleased. after we shopped we walked back over towards the apple store where there was like some outdoor seating and chilled there for a bit, there was like little fountains next to us and there were some toddlers like getting their feet wet and playing and it was really cute. We were only out there for like ten minutes but I somehow mentioned to get like, a really intense sunburn on the back of my neck during that time, like I got a little on my arms which like okay that’s fine it makes sense but the back of my neck, which I mean I could feel the sun on while i sat there, but still, is like unreasonably red and I’m annoyed about this. But while we were sitting there I called the place that did have my computer, I had called them a few times already that morning but nobody had picked up so far, but they picked up this time and they were like “oh yeah it just came in like not even ten minutes ago, we just have to run some tests and you can pick it up in like 40 minutes” so I was like alright perfect! But yeah, then the apple store texted they were ready, so we went inside and waited some more, then finally talked to a guy who did some shit with settings and said it would probably work now, but of course because it was a gps problem we couldn't test it until we left, and we soon discovered that it did not fix it and the gps still didn’t work, so that sucks. The thing is this is the iPhone 6 that was my old phone before I got the 8 so now if this doesn’t work that’s obviously my fault for giving her a defective phone, and since we’ll be in New York this week anyway I know once my dad hears about it he’ll be like nah we’re buying you a new phone and that will be that, lol. So we departed from the apple store and stopped at a car wash quickly because someone ran into Jess’ car with a shopping cart (maybe? it looked like it could’ve been caused by that, it was just scratched not dented) so she wanted to get it cleaned and see what it actually looked like. So we did that, then went to the place which had my computer, but before going in we took a detour to the petsmart that was in that parking lot and looked at the lizards for a bit then went and looked at the cats they had up for adoption and they had a super cute little black and white kitten who was like 4 months old who was being really affectionate and I was just like.....my roommate definitely wouldn’t object if I came home with a cat because we’ve talked about this and almost adopted the cat that hangs out outside our building all the time before finding out she does actually have an owner and just likes to wander, so like, that wouldn’t be an issue haha but of course I resisted and we left to go to the computer store. They got it for me pretty quickly, and of course I just had to pay the $300 deductible for using apple care, so a very minimal amount of water spilling on my computer only cost me $300 to fix (😑) but I guess I shouldn’t really be complaining when it used to be that apple just wouldn’t even touch water damaged laptops and I basically would’ve had to just buy a new one, so that’s an improvement at least. We stopped at the Panera across the street from there and got some lunch, then we were pretty much done with everything, so Jess dropped me off and I first started setting up my computer since all the data got wiped from it, but thankfully I had a back up on my external hard drive from last September when I got this laptop (and I will definitely be backing it up on there more often now) so while I lost any data between now and then, I at least had a significant amount of stuff back, so that was very helpful. But yeah, I got that to set up and do all the updates and everything while I started my bar prep stuff for the day. It was pretty much all review outlines for different subjects and then do one set of practice questions based on the differences between Illinois’s (adding the extra s for possessive is consider correct in legal writing) evidence rules and the federal evidence rules, because part of the bar will test the federal ones and part of the bar will test the Illinois rules, so that’s fun. Then the rest of them were either outline and self grade or write out and self grade like 3 different essays. I admittedly haven’t been writing them all out, but I did my best to outline in at least getting the main points down on paper, which is really all I need because I know I can write, I’ve been writing bullshit essays since like middle school and if the grades I got on my law school finals are any indication, I’m rather good at it, so I was just more focusing on identifying the info they wanted you to get from the fact pattern to base the essays off, so I did that for the first two and did a fairly decent job getting all the points down. But then I turned to the last one and was like oh, I already did this one under the New York program I guess so I was effectively done at that point, which was nice to be done a bit earlier. I did more laptop shit for a while before making my way to the couch to look at some job prospects and hopefully apply to some places. I had collected a bunch of links to jobs I could apply for but had been waiting on the NY job (grrrr) to get back to me to apply, but I lost them all when my data got wiped, so I had to go back into the schools job finder thing and wade through all of those. There were a decent amount of them, most want at least some experience though or at least want an attorney who’s licensed already, so that cut them down a lot. I ended up sending in two applications, one for the state appellate defenders office, and I went into the sent file on my gmail and downloaded all the cover letters I’ve already submitted so I’ll have stuff to work with, it tends to be like copying one paragraph from one of them to another to create the optimal cover letter for this specific position, so I was of course pulling hard on the whole “my father is a criminal defense attorney and I grew up watching him and am always on the defense’s side” blah blah blah, and then railed a bit about how those who are wrongfully convicted and were basically railroaded by the system often get their trauma compounded even more through the appellate process, so I feel like that should be good at least. The other one was a trial attorney job but for a plaintiff’s personal injury firm, so I threw in some crap like “Since I was a child and accompanied my lawyer father to court, I’ve always wanted to be a trial attorney” and something about working some of those cases at his firm because he does do some cases that are like, more or less in that field, just on a different level (i.e. suing giant pharmaceutical companies for defective drugs instead of suing the guy who ran into your car) so I thought was good. I looked at some other options I might do soon but figured that was good for now. I didn’t do much else for the night, just watched Nailed It and did computer stuff before starting to get ready for bed. My eyes are rapidly closing and this post is already super long, so I’m gonna end here. Goodnight dears. Happy weekend.

[aju-naisu]

college dorm neighbour!jun

summary: college dorm neighbour jun and you were never.... pals, buddies, friendos. so when you heard some... suspicious sounds coming from his dorm, you weren't exactly pleased warnings: uh, mentions of sex?? highkey fluff though + side of awkwardness word count: 1k ish a/n: hey i'm writing for the first time ever so please do expect absolute shit (((: this was originally enemies to lovers, but after writing, i realized there wasn't much enemies to lovers, so i changed it to regular college dorm neighbour au. there is probably hints of enemies to lovers though, if you squint

- for the sake of this, jun ): will sadly ): be stereotyped ): as greasy ): ): ): -for a while- - okay so, - college dorms, are, - shit. so to say - the walls are thin so you can practically hear every single word your good ol' neighbours are saying - so when you hear loud noises which you can only describe as moaning, you are no less than disgusted - i mean, who wants to hear moans from your neighbour at 2 am in the morning when you're trying to study for an exam in a week?? - that's right. no one. - anyway, well, jun is your neighbour - you never see him go in or out of his dorm but, you know he's there - jun gave you a nice gift when he first moved in and gave his introductions (what a nice boy) so - also he likes to sing really loudly in his room so you know when he's in the house

- okay back to the plotline - as you try and cram knowledge into your brain for your exam next week, you hear this, mildly? unpleasant to others, yet pleasent to one's ears noise, aka. a moan - a high pitched one, which can really only mean one, or two, things - a. your good ol' neighbour has got himself a good ol' girly and is having fun banging the living daylights out of her or - b. porn. he's watching porn - and he forgot that stupid college dorms have paper thin walls - either way, you're beyond disgusted - but, it's not like you can just march right up to his door and be like - "hey man, yeah, i can hear you guys moaning next door and i'm trying to study so if you guys could keep it quieter that'd be nice thanks" - what if they're in the middle of their.. session?? - anyway, you decide to put on some music in attempts to drown out the sounds - and thankfully, it worked - you spent the entire night studying for that damn exam cause you sure don't want to fail - but you ended up sleeping at an unknown hour anyway, and when you woke up, you were pretty happy to not hear a single sound from your neighbours dorm - buUUuuUUUT... that awkward and mildly disturbing night, turned into plural: nights, as in, more than one - did you have fun suffering - woop dee doo wow time flies by when you're staying up at unholy hours studying for a shitty exam ((: - it's now 1 day until your exam - as in, tomorrow is your exam - and after, 6 days, of non-stop studying, you decide to reward yourself!! - you head on down to starbucks cause who doesn't love some terribly overpriced shit (: - and guess who you meet there?? - that's right - -no one cause you're lonely and don't have anyone- yOuR GOoD oL' NeIgHBoUR!! (: - wow you thought the nights of hearing the moans were awkward? wait until you see THIS - jun's waiting at the side for his order - riGHT WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ORDER (who does that man) - so you have no choice but to walk past him - you do this fast, attempt, and graceful, attempt, slip past him, again ATTEMPT - "oh hey!! y/n what are the chances of meeting you here? i thought you were studying for that exam" - fuck - fuck fuck fuck, what were you supposed to do?? - tell him "are you fucking other girls every day, cause you gotta stop, it's loud"??? - or do you just play along? - ok brain, help y/n out here, say something intellectual - "yes." - oh my god,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, bitch - you glance at jun and he has this really confused face written all over him so you just panic and - "i mEaN,,,,,, yEs I'M TOtaLlY studying for that exam, yes haha..." - and jun, still confused, "oh, cool. uh, good luck i guess?" - and that's the end of the conversation there - you take your order, because you successfully passed jun, but not without him noticing - and when you get it, you find jun still standing there, even though he got his order far earlier than you - you were about to ask why when - "let's go back to the dorms together" - you on the outside: sure!! (((: - you on the inside: what the fuck, what is he doing?? i don'T KNOW - so the two of you walk together back to your dorms - it was kinda awkward cause when you sped up the pace to try and avoid him, jun sped up as well?? - and when you slowed down, he did too?? - so this fast-slow walk continued until you reached your dorms, when you heard - loud - loud - loudloudloudgodamnloud moans - and you were highkey confused and lowkey disgusted? - cause like, you thought, wasn't it jun?? - but - jun is right here?? next to you??? - so you look at jun and he's just, really red - like tomato red, even redder than that - as red as you can get - "aHHhhHhHHH i'M SO SORRY OH MY GOD IT'S JUST THAT I WAS HAVING TROUBLE AFFORDING THE RENT SO I GOT A NEW ROOMATE AND HE'S JUST A fuckboi I'M SORRY I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU" - and he looked so embarrassed and like about to cry but - you just - laugh - like, hard - i mean, you thought it was jun all this time when really he's innocent and it's his new roomate??! - now jun's just confused - he told you something he thought would make you disgusted, but instead, you laugh? - jun just stares at you, confused, until you finally stopped laughing and told him - "lmao i thought it was you this whole time and was pretty disgusted, honestly" - cue tomato red, as red as you can get, jun again - "ahhhh nO!! i'm,,,,,,," - and another loud moan erupts from your next door neighbour's room - "sorry" - you laughed again - but then you thought - oh, where is jun going to go?? - i'm pretty sure jun's roomate, that girl his roomate is banging, and very much jun himself, - would not appreciate jun entering the currently unholy room - poor guy - so you ask him - "hey, you wanna come over to mine tonight?" - wait shit, it wasn't supposed to come out like that, no, go back gobackgoba- - "sure" - ????? - "i mEaN to avoid, them,,,, right??" nice save jun, nice save - so that night, you scored a point - playing Wii Sports with jun all night long - i'm sure your screams of victory, and moans of loss were louder than your banging roomates next door

- "remember that time you invited me over to yours cause my roomate was fucking another girl" - "yes jun. i remember. caUSE YOU LITERALLY REMINDED ME YESTERDAY" - "that was yesterday" - "oh my god"

~hao

[moongirltoday-blog]

Power demonstration in school is something that’s just inappropriate.

Two weeks ago our teacher told us to do a quick analysis of a speech given by Joseph Goebbels in 1933 in Berlin (when they burned the books yanno). We were supposed to do it in a way that we could talk for ten minutes about this speech (similar to what we would have to do if we’d take this in an oral exam final -> three people in our class do that). At the beginning of the lesson of due date, he asked who hadn’t done it (properly). Six people, including me, showed up. I basically just mainly did it because I have severe social anxiety and I figured saying I hadn’t done it properly and getting written down would be better than taking the risk of maybe having to present my results. He then said that we six people had to write the full analysis on this speech, and then he asked one person (who doesn’t do the oral exam and just takes the class because he has to)(like me haha) to present. He talked for three minutes, didn’t even got a grade on it, and then we moved to the next topic. That alone annoyed the hell outta me. Of course I procrastinated, and then, I finally sat down and wrote down bullet points and stuff, but I couldn’t motivate myself to actually writing the analysis, so I thought: “Uh, maybe you just need to write off your anger, and then you can start.” It worked, this is the result of me being angry:

“OKAY Imma fucking write this now and just so you know my dear FRICKIN AWFUL german teacher, I hate this. Youre a fucking unfair motherfucker and Im only writing this because ur a person that is involved in what grades I get and so also in my future which is ridiculous because I despise you. (ALSO THE OTHER PEOPLE who don’t have to do this didn’t do the homework properly either, which is why I decided to do it as crappy as my anxiety and perfectionism will let me). Also I procrastinated this and its currently 9:32 PM and I am super hella annoyed of you, your missing explanation of how to write one of these analysises and the fact that I CANT FIND SOMETHING ON THIS WHEN I GOOGLE IT. Not to mention the fact that I also still have to do English Homework and I also think that we can all agree on the fact that this, me writing, does literally nothing to affect my grade in any way. It’s just you showing your power, DEMONSTRATING the power you have over us (which is ridiculous. Why does this happen in school????) and this assignment / analysis will also make no difference in how you view this speech or J.G. himself or the Nazis themselves, and guess what, it wont change mine either. It’s ridiculous that I, someone who despises this subject, who doesn’t even graduate in it, who won’t need these skills EVER AGAIN, have to write the full analysis. Maybe let the people who actually have a four hour written final on this write that??? I am just sitting in your class because this damn educational system thinks it’s important. There you go. I really hope you don’t enjoy, because I feel like I am wasting my time.”

Sorry for insults btw. My friend said i should hand it in along with the analysis, but I wont, bc he’s grading me and they’re important for my graduation (which sucks). At least it’s here on tumblr.

Have a wonderful evening,

a slightly angry senior year student from Germany.

[lifeisjustanotherstory]

W/c 28th January - a week in anecdotes and not-shower shower thoughts (pt 2)

Friday

You would have thought after 21 years in this country, I would have been tired of it. Over the novelty of huge deep exhales when the air outside is so cold that you release little clouds from your mouth, from deep within.

But no. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Four inches of snow back home and London is only wetter than normal. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Headed in as normal, early, and it was just me and Nick walking from the office to the restaurant. We must have looked quite the picture. 

He mentioned how he thought what Emily was doing was incredible. If you step back, it is. She’s 20, only just, working a full time job, doing hard exams, got a fucking mortgage sorted out AND a baby on the way. I don’t know (m)any 20 year old’s like her. 

We talked about living costs (extortionate) and about how it made sense for me to live at home, especially since I get on with my parents. I’m really glad I do - the amount of money I am able to save is a literal blessing. 

He hadn’t realised that I’d come straight from school. And…I found that interesting. I don’t look particularly old, but I must have that mature air about me.

Nick seemed to be in awe of school leavers - quote, “it doesn’t mean shit if you’re a school leaver or a grad here”’; I do the same work, I’ve just been on the Earth for less time/don’t have a degree. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The food at our team breakfast was delicious.

Shakshuka - eggs baked in tomatoes, peppers and onions, topped with a creamy Arabic yoghurt and grilled bread. Absolutely sumptuous.

Nick also urged us to try the banana jam, I chose to eat it with cinnamon brioche. It was rather nice, even when your stomach is at 105% capacity.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Shaheen remarked that she’s spent more time at the office than at home this week. Lol, same.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I know, I know, I shouldn’t have. But when you see your name on someone’s Skype chat, you sneak a peek.

Shaunna was writing to Shaheen, and I only managed to see the first line, but that was enough; “I really love Deepa.”. Okay, if that isn’t a Friday treat, what is.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Shaunna and I were poring over the population, trying several ways to get it to tie back. Rohit sent us a few more details and we finally got it to work. Past 5pm on a Friday, which was a bit annoying, but work isn’t all sunshine.

When it did work, I actually giggled. An exhilarated giggle. You don’t know how it’s been, just waiting for this work. And now we were finally able to send out the sample.

I hope Shaunna doesn’t think I’m too weird.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Drinks were so fun. I didn’t go to uni, and my friends are currently there/not home, so work socials are the mainstay of my non-family social time. I got speaking to Aytaj and we eventually got round to speaking French; she’s learning it as a hobby and I studied it for a long time. She accidentally told me that she was 85, instead of 25, and fell into me laughing.

Yes, there were grammatical errors (too much on my part for my liking) but we managed to communicate, and connect over it.

So the team headed to Beer&Buns after work, just 2 mins from our office. Buns were delicious and far exceeded my expectations - the fried chicken one was t a s t y and the halloumi one was pretty good too. I had a margarita slushie, which just tasted a bit like flavoured ice tbh. 

But of course, I did have beer too. On two different occasions. Firstly, we played sake bomb. A shot of sake (rice wine) was balanced on chopsticks above a glass of beer. After chanting ‘sake, sake, sake’ you tap the table, sake shot falls through and you down it all. I came first - with Tom, as we did it by sub-team and we beat the other people playing. It’s been a long time since I’ve done shots, but I haven’t lost my touch haha.

Not so lucky for foosball…teamed up with Tom again, against Dave and Aytaj. It was going great; our winning strategy - for the majority of the game at least - was me in midfield/attack and Tom in defense. On the opposing team Aytaj was in defense, and Dave on attack. Each time you won a goal, the other team members had to have some beer as forfeit. That was some refreshing beer (as it ought to be, considering the name). We were a goal ahead, our strategy a winning one. Then we swapped…and lost. 

*******************************************************************************************

Saturday

Listening to “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME”, as I must have done tens of times before, and suddenly I noticed an extra layer to the music. It just added something special. How had I missed it all this time? I love finding new things about songs that I love, like this. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I’ve never lived through a national crisis. My parents have had a few in India, and I wasn’t in the USA at the time of 9/11. Similarly, I was in India at the time of the riots in London. Watching this documentary about Princess Diana and her death, seeing the country I’m currently residing in grieving together…it’s hard stuff.

Shouldn’t speak too soon though, Brexit is yet to happen.

- - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - 

I really should classify this as Sunday, considering it is past midnight, but it’s that time when you still haven’t slept for the night…so it’s the day before.

Pip has just asked me to do a favour and I respond with “sure, as long as it’s not right now.” Her reaction is amazing. I have a reputation for sleeping early and waking up early, and she is, quote, “shook”.

She’s asked me to have a look at her boyfriend’s business school application, and sure, I like Nico and ofc Pip is my best friend so I’m not going to say no. But not today.

Before I turn my phone off I look at the clock and decide to conduct an experiment. It’s 1:15am.

“It would be nice to be up at 7:15am,” I tell my body clock.

*******************************************************************************************

Sunday

Up at 7:12am. This is interesting.

- - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - - - - - - - - - - ­- - - 

How have I not heard this song before? True, I only found it because it happened to play in a YouTube ad before the music video I wanted to see started to play.

I was hooked from the outset. Hooked by the hook, one could say. Malamente means badly in Spanish, as I eventually learnt, but the music transcended the linguistic barriers. It felt like Rosalía’s voice (described as liquid velvet, which is an apt description imo) was trickling down my back, into my skin. I don’t know what she is singing but I fucking love the way she says it.

Can I go to Spain now, please?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Started to revise for AA. This is a lot of material, folks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Started to review Nico’s work…and I’m in a bit of a dilemma. He’s got the content there, some really good examples. I’m no business school application specialist but it seems just a bit too verbose.

Pip didn’t rope me in to correct his grammar, just to be a fresh pair of finance-y eyes. But part of me can’t not suggest any edits, since some things have become more glaring each time I read his essay.

SO. I’ve just decided to suggest a few bits, little things that might make a few sentences classier/neaten up the structure and help disguise the fact that English isn’t his first language. There. That’s a happy middle and at least now I feel like I’ve done something.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

For some reason, I thought it would be nice to take a step back into my Tumblr archives. Found some nuggets (not pigeon ones, Matt…), I tell you.

It’s intriguing to see how I used to think two, four years ago. Reading my thoughts of years ago was refreshing. Some parts of me have changed, but I think the essence of me has been the same all along. 17 and 19 year old me, pouring out her heart(s) on Tumblr, was…honest.