#did I have more fun watching it than almost anything else I've watched lately? also yes

[partywithponies]

[endo-bunny]

Sit Down Now and Rest

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Description: You had anxiety and depression, and Tony and Bruce were more than happy with getting you anxiety meds the moment that you asked. When you stop taking your meds, your mental health plummets and spirals as well as your physical health, and everyone notices. Don't worry though, they're there for you.

Pairing: (Platonic) Avengers x Teen!Reader

Type: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, sickness, fainting, dizziness, taking meds(both medicated and just vitamins/iron supplements), dehydration, insomnia, depressive and hurtful thoughts, reader doesn't talk very much in this, nicknames(Kiddo, Kid, Hun)

Word Count: 1,627

Note: I may or may not have written this with too much of myself being present… But it's fine! I also wrote this at like 2 in the morning so it's kinda rough but I just needed to get this typed out so here ya go! Also, the characters might be kinda ooc because I haven't watched any marvel movies in a little while but I've been hyper focused on fics with them lately so yea. And I am working on my tlou and tech fics, it's just hard to find the motivation to write them, but don't worry, I'm working on em.

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You were quick to notice that you stopped taking your meds. You knew that they helped you, but you couldn't get yourself to start the habit of taking them again. You wanted to, most definitely, but you couldn't. Every day was the same. Wake up, look at your meds, contemplate taking them, saying you'll take them later, go train, eat, and then not take them.

You also stopped taking them at night too. You had even set alarms so that you'd remember to take them, but it didn't help at all. Natasha was the first to notice that something was up, being the closest one with you. When she realized that something wasn't quite right, she made sure to keep a close eye on you. She was quick to pick up how dizzy you looked when you'd get up, sometimes not even being able to stay standing before you crumbled back onto the couch. You'd always play it off as if you just lost your footing but she and everyone else knew that that wasn't the case.

One morning you had gotten up much later than you had recently been getting up. When you checked the time, it was around two in the afternoon. You got up and went to the kitchen, feeling extremely hungry after forgetting, and also just not wanting dinner the night prior. When you arrived in the kitchen, Tony was there. He had kind of taken up the father role in your life.

The moment he saw that you had finally arose, he was quick to make a snarky comment in good fun, “Ah! The beast has finally awoken from their slumber, now off they go to find their beauty.”

You only roll your eyes, ignoring him. You felt exhausted, even though you got close to ten hours of sleep seeing as you fell asleep around 4 in the morning. You couldn't find anything easy to fix or that looked appetizing in the fridge or pantry so you just opted for a bottle of water that you would only take a sip or two of then leave with your other five almost full water bottles on your nightstand.

Before you could go back to the confines of your room, Tony had to ask you a question, “ Hey kiddo, did you take your meds?”

The question caught you off guard, not expecting him to ask seeing as he hasn't asked in a real long time.

“Oh yea! I, um, took them earlier but fell back asleep. Yea, that's what I did!”

You try to make it seem like you weren't lying through your teeth, but weren't very successful because of how exhausted you were. However, before Tony could confront you, you book it to your room. You hide there for the rest of the day, not coming out for Dinner. Steve had come by to tell you that dinner was ready but you told him that you weren't very hungry as you just kept your

on the book that you had your nose in. You kept your light on all night, not feeling tired.

The next morning, Nat knocked on your door around eight, coming to get you so that you could train with her. When she opened your door, she saw you laying on your back staring up at the ceiling. You looked exhausted and had dark circles under your eyes. When Bat opened the door, you flung up in surprise. You hadn't heard her knocking so you weren't expecting for the door to randomly open. You couldn't tell who it was at first because your vision went fuzzy black as your body tried to accommodate the sudden movement that you caused. Nat waited for you to acknowledge her.

When you did after a couple seconds, you looked over at the time, confused. It had just been two the last time you looked at the clock. How could it be eight all of the sudden? You were brought out of your thoughts by Natasha trying to talk to you. You zoned back in, giving her a questioning look.

“I said, are you ok? You look exhausted Hun. I came by to get ya to come train but it looks like you need to rest for a couple days.”

“Oh! No, I'm fine. Just give me a couple minutes to get ready and I'll be down and we can get to work in no time!”

She gave you a skeptical look but nodded, closing your door behind her.

When you got down to the training room, Bucky and Steve were there with Natasha. They smiled upon seeing you walk in. However, Bucky and Steve's bright smiles dropped upon looking at your figure. You were slouched, tired eyes not fully open and your eye bags were extremely dark.

Bucky was the first to point it out, “Hey Kid, you ok? You aren't looking too good.”

You only shrugged, your body aching and your throat feeling scratchy and sore for some reason.

As you're sparring with Natasha, you continuously have to stop the match because you go into coughing fits. As finish with your last coughing fit you go back to Natasha, but she's packing her stuff up.

“Wait, where are you going?” You're voice comes rather harsh and rude as you ask the red head.

“I think you should rest for the rest of the day Hun. I'll come check on you in a little while. But go take your meds and also some cough syrup and eat something.”

You didn't say anything as you grabbed your stuff and walked back to your room. This was stupid. It was just a little cold. You can still fight. You need to train. Deep down though you knew you needed to listen to her and do as she said. In the end, you don't. You go back to your room, take a sip or two of water, get a small snack and then sit down in the living room with a book.

You try to read it, but you can't stay focused for long enough to. Your mind is spiraling and racing. You kept replaying how training went. You were so pathetic. And rude. How could you be so rude? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You slam the book down onto the sofa, huffing.

You hadn't noticed that some of the others had joined you in the living room. They look up at you, surprised. They weren't used to seeing you like this. You tried to get up quickly, wanting to get away from this embarrassing situation.

The moment you get up, the world goes black, buzzing and ringing is the only thing you can hear as you collapse. You feel something picking you up and setting you down on the couch. You blink your eyes a couple times, slowly feeling sensation being restored in your body. You look around you and see that Bruce is coming over with a damp cloth and water. Nat has your head resting in her lap and Tony has your hand in his. They all look worried as they stare down at you. You hear gasped as Steve and Bucky walk in.

Questions are being thrown at you, too fast for you to comprehend. You instinctively put your hands on your ears, feeling overwhelmed. They all quiet down upon seeing this. Tony is the one to ask the questions from then on.

“Hey, it's ok. We're sorry, didn't mean to overwhelm ya like that. Can ya sit up?”

You nodded, feeling embarrassed now. Tony nodded and Nat helped you sit up, allowing you to lean against her.

“Ok, drink some water, you're ok,” Tony hands you the water that Bruce had brought over as Bruce is wiping your face with the cold damp cloth.

“Ya feeling better?”

“Ya, I'm fine.”

“Have you been taking your meds, kid?”Tony doesn't hold back, knowing what it looks like when you don't take the meds that have been helping you produce what your body needs.

You sheepishly look down at your hands that are fidgeting in your lap. You inhale sharply before shaking your head no.

They all sigh, Natasha being the one to talk this time, “Why haven't you been taking your meds, Hun?”

“I-I just don't want to… I don't like the feeling.”

They looked at each other, wondering what to say. As they look at each other, you go to stand up, but they make sure that you don't get up.

“Sit down now and rest,” Bucky's voice comes from behind you, his hands still on your shoulders.

“I'm sorry…” Your voice comes out in a whisper.

“You're forgiven kiddo, but ya gotta start taking your meds again.” Steve comes over and sits on the other side of you as he speaks.

“I know.”

“How bout I take my medication with ya? God knows that I haven't been taking it as much as I should be,” Tony chuckles as he tries to negotiate with you.

You didn't know if it would actually help you but you were open to the idea.

“Good, drink some more water. Now what do you want to watch? Hm? TV's all yours,” Tony stood up, giving you the TV remote as everyone decided to sit down on the couch.

You picked your comfort movie as you snuggled up with Steve and Nat. Tony had gotten you some actual food, and by the time the movie was over, you had drank all the water, ate all the food, fell asleep, and almost everyone else had fallen asleep as well. You felt safe with the people that cared about you all around you. You knew that this would be a journey, but you also knew that you weren't alone.

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Tag list: @fakegingerrights @macchiato-dreaming22 @silnebula

[tonberry-yoda]

I don't know it if ur alright with jojos angst, BUT here's a prompt I think abt a lot. Dio is seen as cruel and emotionless right? (Cuz he is) but let's say his S/O dies protecting him, and to out a cherry on top of the cake he had literally been treating his S/O terribly as of late due to being blinded by his mission to kill jotaro and for power.

If u can't tell I love angst.

okay, i know i dont usually write heavy angst, but this just feels right. like it's the perfect prompt, plus i wrote something super similar a long time ago and wanted to make it better! also, obsessed with the kitty photo. Thank you so much for the request @kindadolly and I really hope you enjoy!!! <3

Why? - DIO

Pairing - DIO x reader

Warnings - heavy angst, death, spoilers for part 3 of jjba

Word Count - 993

Notes - thank you so much for the request again! this one is really heavy, so if you arent comfortable with the warnings above, do not read this one. i quite like it though and it was definitely something else to write that's for sure. i definitely need to write some fluff later lmaoooo. enjoy and please stay hydrated everyone! <333

"DIO, dear!" You hummed, running into his room before throwing your arms around him. "We should go on a date." You smiled and sat on his lap. "We haven't done that in a while, huh? What do you say?"

You watched DIO closely, his bright blonde hair shimmering in the candlelight that lit up the dark room you were in. "No."

"No? What do you mean no?" You crossed your arms and jokingly pouted, hoping that he was just playing with you.

"I mean it. No." DIO grabbed you from underneath your shoulder and placed you on the ground, continuing whatever work he was doing at his desk.

"Are you kidding me?! After all I've done for you?! I've found more than half of the stands that work for you and you can't even get us a simple dinner out?!"

"You're overreacting now, pet."

"Call me that one more time." Your eyes went dark. This was getting old. "I'm not overreacting, DIO. You're too stuck up on taking down the Joestars and all that bullshit. I just wanted dinner. Maybe even a walk around Egypt. Is that too much to ask?"

DIO turned to you, his eyes almost glowing. "Yes. It is. Now leave me be, I'm busy."

You turned and walked out of the room, clearly upset. He had to be kidding, right? After all you've done and he treats you like that?! Who gave a rat's ass about some stupid 17 year old and his grandpa. Sure, you wanted to help DIO, but god this was getting old.

You found a nearby guest room and slammed yourself onto the bed, ignoring the dust flying off of the sheets. Who did that asshole think he was anyway?

You turned on your back and looked at the dark ceiling above you. You knew you were falling into a trap when he pulled you into his arms. When he told you he loved you. When his claw-like nails ran under your chin as he called you loving names. But to be honest, you really didn't care.

You knew what you were getting into. You knew what this would take. So why were you still so upset?

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard a light tap on your door.

You sat up, the dust around you looking almost like snow. "Come in."

The door slowly opened as Terence D'Arby peeked his head into your room. "Sorry if I'm interrupting anything, y/n."

"No, you're fine, Terence," you wiped your eyes that you just realized were filled with tears. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine. I just wanted to inform you that it looks like the Joestars are about to arrive at the castle."

"Really?" You stood up.

"No need to panic. I have already informed Lord DIO."

You nodded and stayed in your place. "Well do what you must, D'Arby."

"That I shall," he bowed at you and stood back up with a smile. "This should be fun."

You giggled and watched him leave the room. "It should, shouldn't it?"

---

You're breathing was getting heavier and heavier. You clearly didn't train yourself well enough for this battle. Kakyoin, Avdol, and Iggy were already dead and it looked like DIO had taken care of Joseph Joestar and Polnareff, so maybe you could just sit for a little while.

You didn't even know why you were fighting in the first place. Well, you did. DIO wanted your stand in the battle. It was strong, so he needed it. But maybe you'd be doing a way better job if your own boyfriend had trained you or even taught you how to better use your stand without becoming so exhausted.

You took a deep breath and sat down on a nearby bench. Your chest felt like it was about to explode. And it didn't help that Polnareff had nearly kicked the shit out of you back there before DIO showed up. You coughed up some blood. Shit.

You were becoming lightheaded.

Dammit.

DIO could handle himself, right?

You stood up, miraculously, to check on him and it wasn't looking so good. Sure, you believed that DIO could take down a literal 17 year old, no matter how strong, but that stupid stand, Star Platinum, that was going to be the real problem.

You didn't know why, but you ran out, your lungs weak and your hands covered in your own blood, and covered DIO right as Star Platinum was about to finish the job.

---

DIO only remembers seeing your body fall to the ground and the world going quiet. He quickly lashed out at Jotaro and stopped time.

Shit, shit, shit.

"Darling?" DIO unfroze time and knifes went flying at Jotaro, seemingly knocking him dead. "Darling please."

DIO laughed, thinking you were just joking. Hoping that you two could go on that date you asked him for. Dammit why did he have to treat you like shit those last two days?

"y/n, this isn't funny. y/n please."

You opened your almost lifeless eyes and placed your hand on DIO's cheek. "Come on babe-" you were interrupted by one last coughing fit, apologizing for the blood you got on DIO. "We all knew you were going to outlive me anyway." You smiled and ran your weak fingers through DIO's hair.

"I know," DIO's tear fell onto your cheek and he wiped it away quickly. "I just didn't want it to happen so soon."

"Well, I'll see you in hell, won't I?"

"After how I treated you? Probably."

"Don't feel bad. You were just busy. I just..." you giggled, though not meaning to. "I really wanted to go on that date." Both tears and blood were running down your face as DIO placed one last kiss onto your cold lips.

When he pulled away, you were gone.

Why did he have to treat you like that?

He was going to kill Jotaro for this one.

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch. 2

Chapter two of Feyre's diary! I hope you enjoy,! Things might pick up in the next chapter

Words: 1.4k

February 7th

Dear Diary,

I feel like death on two legs. These past fews were SO hectic.

I've got the job I applied for and they agreed fairly quick for me to work the night shifts, and now I know WHY! Who would have thought so many people went to a seedy diner at the outside of town in the middle of the night? It's weird and I also need to act like nothing is different because mom knows nothing! She doesn't suspect a single thing! I guess being ignored by her has its perks?

Anyway, I'm not going down that route. Point is, I'm trying to juggle work and school and somehow get sleep at some point of the day, which worked until today when I fell asleep in Mr. Suriel’s class. And guess who woke me up? Rhysand!! He was very sweet about it but I felt so embarrassed, I basically bolted away from him and almost walked into a door. Yeah, I can't look at him anytime soon.

Also, dad is acting very weird lately. He's always in his office and barely talks to any of us if he bothers to show up for dinner, even mom and Elain.

Okay, that's it I think.

Byee

February 15th

Dear Diary,

The moon is so pretty. It's like 11pm right now and I'm not at work, I got this Saturday off to work on Sunday which even gives me a little Sunday bonus! Amazing, isn't it?

Back to the moon, it's beautiful! I've never paid much attention to it but now that I did, I never want to look at anything else again. Sitting in the moonlight and writing in my diary? That's so aesthetically pleasing, Pinterest would eat this up!

I'm also not the only one still awake, I can hear dad’s TV, he's watching the news again, as every evening although he's working much later than usual, mom is super grumpy about this. I think they even argued yesterday, I heard weird noises coming from their room.

I also have good news! Rhysand and I have to make a project together for history!! ME and RHYSAND. It's going to be so fun, as long as I keep him far away from my house. He already asked if we wanted to start the project at his house or mine, of course I said his even though I'm super nervous! We're meeting tomorrow. Should I wear the blue sweater? Maybe I can steal some of Elain’s mascara. Or I could ask her. We'll see, I guess.

I also don't know if I should leave my notebook at home. It's full of scribbles of Rhys's eyes. That's very specific but I just can't get them right! How can a person have such unique eyes? If anyone comes close to having literal starry eyes, it's him. So, what would be more embarrassing, if mom found the notebook or Rhys??

I think I'll leave it here, hide it in my closet. If mom still finds it I can lie and say it's just practice! Hopefully she won't find the R+F scribbled in the back.

I'm getting sleepy now, big day tomorrow.

Bye!

March 9th

Dear Diary,

Rhys and I got an A on our project! It was so easy working with him, it didn't even feel like working. He's not just the most beautiful guy I have ever seen, he's also so nice and incredibly smart! I think he also plays sports, what can't he do? Like, leave some talent for us!

I also got into an argument with Nesta if it's acceptable to use sus as a word. It's way too hard and time consuming to always fully spell suspiceus ous, same with saying it. Shortening it saves lots of time! She says it's stupid and to not use it in front of her friends because it's humiliating. To quote her, verbatim, “Stop trying to make sus happen, Feyre! It's not going to happen!” Rude. It's totally going to happen someday and I'm going to tell her “I told you so.” (She hates that)

Also, after weeks of acting sus, dad finally joined us at dinner and actually talked. Mostly to mom and the topic was the airplane that had just disappeared but nonetheless, he talked and his mood seemed better! He also doesn't look like a caveman anymore for the first time since he locked himself in the office, so that's good.

Mom also almost caught me eating chocolate, which would have been a total disaster. She's always making sure that we, mostly Elain and Nesta, aren't overweight. She's weighing them weekly! It's so insane. Sometimes I bring back some leftovers after my shift and sneak them to Elain and Nesta's room. They accept them and mom hasn't kicked me out of the house yet, so I assume they haven't told her. They also don't ask question when I bring the snacks, they just accept it. Good, that means they don't have to lie for me. Or I don't have to lie to them.

Okay, I guess that's it for the day.

PS: is it normal to constantly have a feeling of impending doom? Is it just PMS?

April 29th

Dear Diary,

Since Rhys and I did our project we've spent much more time together! He's so funny, he always makes me laugh. I think we've even become friends. We shared our lunch today, he got a half of my sandwich and I got a half of his! He even gave me his coke zero because he was shocked when I told him I never had any. It was amazing. (the coke, the company and the lunch)

Rhys told me he's super into astronomy, he's a nerd about it and it's so cute. I never saw him so animated about a topic! I mean, when he talks about himself. For some reason he also looks super interested when I talk about painting, he must be a good actor because I can't imagine him really being interested in art but I appreciate it anyway! No one ever really tried to listen to me about my hobbies.

I think I'm talking nonsense again, I don't know why that always happens. Sometimes my thoughts feel like a big heap of muddled words and everything is going on at once.

Oh, right, I almost forgot the most important thing! Rhys and I planned a sleepover during the summer holidays! I told him that I'd like to have a WiiU someday and he suggested a game night, because he has a WiiU, I'm so excited! I hope the time goes by fast, I can't wait. I need a break, my schedule is so tight these days, it's almost suffocating but I can't tell anyone.

It's going to be worth it, though. I'm saving my money, for what, I don't know yet. Maybe my driver's license? I have time to figure it out.

Mom is out for tea with her friends right now, so I'm using the time to listen to Taylor Swift without headphones!

May 31st

Dear Diary,

I could cut the tension here with a knife but either no one tells me what's up or they don't know. I tried to get some infos from our cook, Alis. She's always nice and she gets wind of all the gossip but she couldn't tell me what's going on.

Something isn't right and I need to know what it is, although something tells me I shouldn't. But can I just leave this mystery unsolved? Of course I can't!

It might be quiet right now, mom amd dad are in dad’s office upstairs, Elain and Nesta are in the garden and all the house staff seem to be huddled somewhere around the kitchen, whispering among themselves. Maybe I could eavesdrop? But there isn't really a way to hide without them seeing me. We definitely need more secret nooks in this house, I can't get information like this.

Nesta always says I'm nosy but that's such a negative way to look at it, I'm just curious. How is she not? How is Elain not? Is it wrong to be curious?

Especially if your parents are super jumpy for, like, the whole last week! It's super sus. Last night I knocked over the salt shaker and they flinched! Mom didn't even shout or reprimand me, she just glowered and went back to her dinner, it was sca–

Oh, hold on, the doorbell just rang, be back in a sec.

Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[shuttershocky]

Hi shutters, got a couple questions for you,

how would one go about getting into dota after playing league? i'm liking dota's design more than league's but i don't really know where to start considering the stuff i've read, it seems a lot more, ambiguous on lanes, jungles and such.

also as a side note, do you have any games similar to armored core 6 to suggest? i've gotten a runaway focus on it and there's not much for me to do outside of mech dressup, i've sorta finished it all with 250 odd hours :/ not my brightest moment i will admit

If you don't have any friends that already play Dota 2, there's three ways to learn:

1) Watch the competitive scene - Dota's competitive scene is extremely old, with the original Dota having been a Warcraft 3 custom map that grew so popular it became its own thriving, grassroots competitive scene. After almost 20 years of being known as one of the hardest games to ever learn, tournament casters have become really fucking good at describing the game in simple language without sacrificing detail, and you can legitimately learn what different heroes do and what roles there are to play by watching the best in the world go head to head. Plus, many major Dota tournaments have extremely cool plugins on Twitch where you can mouse over any abilities, heroes, or items currently onscreen and you get a pop-up with their full details as if you're mousing over them in-game. Incredibly useful!

2) Trial by fire - Finish the tutorial and the few bot matches you're encouraged to do, and then jump right into real games. Mute anybody that flames you for being new and just figure shit out as you go along. That's what I (and plenty of other friends) did when I first started out in 2012. I've played a few sessions of the original Dota mod before then, but it was only when I got access to the Dota 2 beta that I really got into the game hardcore. Take note that while you can definitely learn the game by just playing around and having fun, getting good is another matter entirely. For example, I've got 11 years in this game, and I'm fucking garbage LMAO.

3.) Purge - Purge is an analytical caster in the Dota competitive scene, but he also has a Youtube channel dedicated to him just showcasing matches where he plays as different heroes. His incredibly monotonous voice and almost non-existent sense of humor are only matched by his ridiculous dedication to explaining each and every little detail in his games, and after a match he'll even do a post-game analysis about what he could have done better. He's become beloved in the community (even for those who don't watch the competitive scene) as every new player's first teacher, and if you're somehow also suffering from insomnia you can put on his humongous 9 hour patch notes analysis (he makes one whenever a new big patch drops) where his deep, emotionless, but calming voice is also guaranteed to knock you out and keep you sleeping. You ever want to learn the basics of a hero, just type his name and the hero name into Youtube and he'll almost assuredly have a video for you.

____

As for more games like Armored Core 6, I'm afraid there hasn't been too many mech games lately that feature anything even close to the level of customization and depth so I don't know any, but if anyone else wants to chime in with recommendations feel free.

[heygerald]

I've never had a submission before this, and you guys... it's the best thing I've ever gotten. S/o to @white-wolf-buckaroo for both her skills and her characterization of future Tom/Parker as parents. I had another ask recently that wanted me to talk about this exact topic (I'll get to it, I swear!) and Wolfie has come through for me.

---

You’re the author and this is your story, and I absolutely respect that obviously, but I couldn’t get this scene out of my head so I had to write a short thingy about it (at least my writer’s block doesn’t affect all of my creativity lol); hope I don’t overstep here or anything 👉🏻👈🏻 I honestly don’t know where this came from (I suspect the chapter with Colt’s birthday party had something to do, and also my pinterest board, and I guess my hormones). Anyways, English isn’t my first language but I did my best lol 🙃 It for sure can be better, but I’ll send it to you just like how it first came out. I wrote it listening to ‘Birds of a Feather’ the whole bit, so that’s my vibe here lol.

Hope you like it G <3

The soft sound of the waves crashing against the shore at night echoed in the distance as the bonfire was lit. Marshmallows were help up high above the flames, just the right amount of time for them to turn golden on the outside before they took them back to eat them with the chocolate and the biscuits already prepared on a little table next to them. The golden glow of the fire before them kind of made their smiles even brighter as they shared a laugh when Tom burnt himself with one of the smores, but instead of complaining about them laughing at him, he just rolled his eyes, and he ended up smiling as well.

Summer nights were his favourites. Sure, he enjoyed building Legos inside when it was raining in Autumn, sitting by the fireplace cuddling Parker in the living room in Winter was something he loved, and enjoying the soft golden hue of the sun during the first days of Spring while laying on their massive couch was incredibly relaxing, but Summer nights were something else. Living in California, he had insisted pretty early on having a house by the beach, even if it was only for vacationing during the hotter months; he liked having a private place just for them to enjoy, to invite family over for a few days (Colt and Jody had been there more than once since they bought it) and for him and Parker to relax together all alone. The days they spent there always seemed slower, more relaxed and brighter; he felt at peace there, a place to be completely himself with the person he loved the most.

Only now, after a few years, it wasn’t just the two of them anymore.

The little girl in his lap giggled as he finished eating his smore, still pretending to burn himself a bit while doing so; she had her own sweet treat in her hands, forgotten while she laughed at his antics, getting her fingers all sticky. Parker reached out then with a tissue, sitting by their side; she had already finished her smore, and while she wiped their little girl’s hands clean, she cradled their sleeping baby boy in her lap with her other arm completely wrapped around him. His little face was squished against her chest, covered almost entirely by his golden locks that looked just as Tom’s, snoring softly while his older sister still giggled in Tom’s lap.

Parker watched them as Tom finished their daughter’s smore in one bite while she telling Parker something about a seashell she had found, and he looked innocently away when she protested at it being gone. They laughed again, and Tom tickled her, making her erupt into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Although most parents wouldn’t let their children have that much sugar that late at night, when their daughter asked for more marshmallows, they gave in almost instantly; they were having too much fun to say no anyways. They had had a wonderful day building sand castles, swimming in the ocean and eating ice lollies, and now with the bonfire, Tom silently wished that his summers would always be like this for the rest of his life; sure, his job gratified him, he enjoyed himself when he went out with friends from time to time, but ever since Parker entered his life, and even more since they started a family together, he realized more and more every passing day that he didn’t need anything else to be happy.

Years ago a sappy thought like that would have made him gag, most probably, because the only thing he could think about was to become a famous and successful actor. That was his goal, and that was completely fine back then, because he was young, and he wanted to become something for himself, by himself. And he actually did; he would have been happy to go on like that with the rest of his life for… well, forever. He wasn’t interested in having a ‘permanent’ partner (why limit the fun?) or even get married or have children; those things seemed unimportant, until he found the woman he now calls his soulmate.

Parker cradled their son in her lap, with her hand absentmindedly stroking his hair, and he wished to never forget that moment: her soft smile, how her eyes shone with the small bonfire they had improvised in their backyard in the sand, and how she kissed their daughters cheek sweetly to thank her when she shifted over to her to hand her half of her new marshmallow. The heat from the flames in front of him was nothing compared to the warmth he felt in his chest while looking at those three people: his partner, love of his life, his woman, his forever, and their babies, who had become his entire world. He took pride in the awards he had won, the roles he had played over the years, and everything he had achieved on his own since he first stepped a foot in California, but the family he and Parker had created together? That was by far the greatest achievement.

When it was starting to get late, and their daughter began to rub her eyes tiredly even though she insisted on playing with them a bit more, they packed everything up to go back inside the house, promising her that they could play more in the morning. She accepted reluctantly, making a face she had one hundred percent gotten from Parker (she also shared that expression with Colt; she was a Seavers through and through), but she insisted on walking to the house herself; Tom missed the times she insisted on being carried all the time, always snuggling in his arms looking ridiculously small and sweet (which she still did, to be honest), back when she wasn’t telling everyone that she was ‘a big girl’ ever since her fourth birthday.

Parker noticed this, just like everything about him because she always got him like anyone ever did, and so she handed him their son, still sleeping; he accepted him in his arms, cradling him to his slightly exposed chest. His baby stirred a bit, complaining about the sudden movement, but Tom shushed him softly holding him lovingly, and the boy went back to sleep the moment his chubby cheek laid against Tom’s warm skin. Parker kissed their baby’s forehead, and then Tom’s cheek, before going after their daughter, who was walking (more like stumbling) through the sand, scooping her up when she reached her. Parker turned around back to him then, both her and their daughter looking over at him still standing by the now small flames of the bonfire; they called for him to join them, and he didn’t need to be told twice.

Oh these Summer nights. They were just perfect.

---

OKAY. Screaming. Crying. Throwing up because???? This is BEAUTIFUL! I've never had someone submit something to me before, and I am literally going crazy over this.

Wolfie, it is amazing. It's so heartfelt. So Parker coded. Everything I want for them in the future. I love it. I love it. I love it. Thank you eternally for your bravory and skills, as well as your constant interactions and love. I hope this cures your writing block, and am so flattered you chose to use my oc to work on it.

ETERNAL HUGS AND KISSES.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

2024 edition of Analysing Ram's fanfic collection! 2022 and 2023 editions are there. A few days late but we're still going strong!

Same disclaimer as before, all the ships I've been into are in there under the readmore and some of them are weird, if you thinks some stuff is freaky (derogatory) you probably don't want to look (especially this year!!). Which is fine, see you another time :)

For those who don't mind freaky stuff, come have fun with me once again as I marry my passion for fandom and simple statistics.

(hopefully this is readable? I had to dezoom a little because I have So Much Fic)

... So this is kind of insane for me.

I got into Daredevil a little after last year's edition, and after a full year and about three intense phases of Being Really Into Daredevil (the TV show, I should say right now. I've been meaning to get into the comics but we're not there yet), you can see that I uh. I liked it! Almost 600 fics, jesus. That's more than any of my other fandoms, and by so far it's not even funny. Clearly it shows when I download every fic I read. To be clear most of that folder is Mattfoggy, self-explanatory and uncontroversial I think.

I also got into Baldur's Gate 3, which is probably my folder with the most gen stuff in it, maybe even including my gen folders. That's because 1) I played the game and romanced someone (I'll give you a guess. I'll give you one fucking guess.) so it felt a little strange reading ship fic for a game when you've played an active role in the story? and 2) because for once there isn't just one ship I'm into. All of these fuckers have so much potential chemistry with everyone else it's kind of wild. You could take any of the main six/eight companions, put them together, and I'd see it! So, genfic, and a fair bit of Bloodpact because I'm extra-compelled by Astarion and Wyll having Issues together and kissing about it. Once again, normal. Note that I did also buy merch for this, because there was cool merch I could actually get! So I have nice stickers and a portkey on top of 200 fics.

Then we enter the Zone Of Shame, the elephant in the room: why does Ram, who spent years of her life deliberately ignoring anything MCU related in any way, shape or form, who actively tried not to know who any of these people were when people told her about it, and who fell asleep before a few of the movies during family movie night, have three folders and about 350 MCU fics on her phone? Why indeed. Well, my best explanation is Daredevil snuck up on me and then I got overtaken by a fever. And now here I am. A changed woman. Scouring blogs from 2012 to get glimpses of what it was like back then.

The two main ships I've been really into are Stucky, because I watched Winter Soldier and I have eyes, though I did kind of hesitate with Stony because yeah I see it, and Thorki, because I watched Thor and I have eyes because I heard it was a thing, got curious, looked into it, and started Seeing It very fast. For about a week I'd watched Thor 1 and I thought, eh, I don't know why everyone was so into this, and then somehow something clicked in my brain I guess?? And then here I am, about three months later, coming out of AO3 searches bloodied and dizzy.

The rest of the changes are minor, I added a class folder for class stuff, a few fics here and there, kept going with Venom and doubled that folder, kept reading porn, planned to read (/actually read!) a few published books, etc. The last notable things are I found like 30 things to add to my misc folder, don't know where, and I somehow got rid of 4 Warrior Cats books? I'm guessing I had duplicates?

In conclusion, this year in fanfic, I read a lot of Mattfoggy, and got really into a beloved fandom classic (Stucky), the most obvious characters I could have gotten into (Astarion and Loki), and a truly "problematic ship" (Thorki). They grow up so fast... Absolutely crazy to me that when I log all the fics I read in a year (and I could have read more!) I end up almost doubling my fanfic folder. I was at 1.7k last year and I added like 1.4k, that was a huge shocker! So many good fics....

(BTW I knew the whoole time I would be insanely into Loki and Tony Stark, and I was Correct. Whatever that kind of character is they're like fucking catnip to me. Immediate blorbo. I need to read more Tony centric stuff but I've been trying not to be so so in love with that guy since I was like 13 so. Hard to break the habit. Astarion is also Like That and as soon as I saw his face I knew and I was once again Correct. I'm predictable.)

This was the 2024 edition of What's Ram Been Reading, it was a delight to have you this year again and it'll be a delight to have you in 2025! Bye bye :)

[thessalian]

Thess vs More Next Fest 2024

Still hacking through the demos. Because the demos are fun. There were a few I had to just pitch because while they looked good on paper, as it were, the implementation was ... eh. This always happens towards the end of the Next Fest, for me - it's like I pull all the really good ones out in the first couple of days and then end up with the frustrations when I persist. But because I persist, I did find a few gems.

Tactical Breach Wizards: Turn-based strategy, some really interesting mechanics, and a brilliant sense of humour. Like it says on the tin, it's wizards doing ... well, sort of a cross between law enforcement, PI work, and SpecOps. And ours go rogue, obviously. And with jokes and the kind of Sahara-dry humour you'd think would get old after awhile but somehow doesn't? It's the kind of banter I get when playing TTRPGs with friends most of the time. It's got a very strong Shadowrun-played-for-laughts feel and I MUST OWN IT YES.

Coffee Talk: This is more the series than anything else, and my playing the Coffee Talk 2 demo wasn't so much a Next Fest thing as a "Lemme clear out the demos I haven't played yet" thing. But it turned out to be almost exactly what Tavern Talk is - mixing drinks and telling / hearing stories - just with different graphical styles. So I could stand to have a few more of those in my life. So they went on the list too. (Gods, Steam is going to have so much of my money in the next little while...)

When The Past Was Around: Looking into Coffee Talk got me looking at Toge Productions, and they as a publisher are very into the various ways of storytelling available in video games. When The Past Was Around is sort of a messing-with-the-set-dressing hidden object game which was unexpectedly beautiful even in the prologue.

A Space For The Unbound: I'm not entirely sure what this one's actually about? But it's cute and pixely and the gameplay is slightly janky but pretty intuitive and there are definitely fantasy elements and the story is ... one I really want to experience further, is all I'll say. Looks worth having.

She And The Light Bearer: Another sort of hidden object / messing with the set dressing kind of game, and really cute.

Honestly, while I'm loving the turn-based set-up of Tactical Breach Wizards in terms of gameplay, I've also been getting into the interactive story stuff more lately. I think it's because I don't watch many things. Video games have spoiled me; I like my stories to be interactive and I don't deal as well with being a passive observer as I did. And honestly, I was never very good at that to begin with. I was always the one sitting in front of the TV with a book or a crossword puzzle or something in front of me and letting "I am paying more attention to what's on the TV than I am to the other thing" be my judge of how much I like the thing on TV.

Also did some gardening - mainly repotting some of my plants, and spraying my poor valerian for aphids. I don't know how the aphids are getting up here when I haven't had my windows open lately (though I have today, because it's sunny and 20 degrees), but they are, and they seem to love valerian. But anyway, my dill, marjoram, lemon bergamot, cinnamon basil, echinacea, and thyme (which I had to regrow because this winter killed my other thyme) all got new homes. Probably going to do the lemongrass and the Egyptian mint next week.

And it's D&D night tonight. So a very good Sunday all told so far.

[ninjagirlstar5]

Protag Teruya AU - Yuki Maeda's FTEs (Part 1)

I'm BAAAAACK!!!

Dear lord, first of all, I'm sorry I've been mostly radio silent on both of my SDRA2 projects. I was dealing with college, socializing in clubs, I got sick, got better, and then got sick AGAIN, and I've been streaming SDRA2 with my buddy on discord whenever they're available between all of that, so I have! Been! Busy!

But good news is, I've been plugging away at part one of Yuki and Protag!Teruya's FTE during my breaks slowly but surely, and now it's done! Hopefully the next updates won't take as long as before but perhaps we shouldn't get out hopes up too much. It's been a busy semester and I have no doubt it'll get busier now that I'm past the halfway point.

Anyways, are Teruya and Yuki hanging out okay? Let's find out.

AO3 Version

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The Protag Teruya AU was inspired by @/anotherprofessional’s post! Beware of Void spoilers though!  

Fic is under read more!

Teruya watches Setsuka and Yoruko leave the U-Mart to hang out. This wouldn’t have bothered him as his own investigation of the U-Mart didn’t yield any clues, although he did get a better understanding of the area. Not to mention that he actually had a bit of fun categorizing and making a list in his head of all the supplies found in the store. It somewhat surprised Teruya that he would enjoy something as bland as this, but he was glad to learn a bit more about himself. Especially since his amnesia had left him with no clues about his own life. But he’s not surprised that Yoruko was a bit more disappointed with the lack of clues to escape the Killing Game. He can also tell that she was getting a bit bored about halfway through the investigation of the U-Mart. So Teruya understood why she’d leave as soon as she could with Setsuka, even if it’s only to take a break.

There was just…He has a hard time calling this a problem but it still left Teruya feeling very uncomfortable.

He slowly turns towards Yuki Maeda, who was also left behind despite investigating with Setsuka just mere minutes ago. Yuki catches his gaze and faces him with a raised brow. Teruya, realizing that he should probably say something, clears his throat.

“So…” Teruya starts, only realizing a few seconds too late that he had absolutely no idea where to go with this. Yuki scratches his cheek with his finger, averting his gaze.

“So.” Yuki said, but didn't add anything else. Almost like he had no idea what to say either. The thought actually gave him a little comfort, knowing that he wasn’t the only one that felt that way. “Um…So you chose the U-Mart as your first investigation?”

“Uhhh, yep.” Teruya gives him an awkward grin, trying to push down the uneasy feeling in his gut. “I didn’t really get a good look around the first time. I…It’s where I found out my amnesia was most likely permanent…” He trails off. Kokoro was the one to tell him that, but can he really trust her word for it? She’s the mastermind, after all. And yet, she’s also the Ultimate Psychologist, so that had to count for…something. Right?

“That makes sense. The U-Mart has a lot more stuff compared to the gift shop on the ship. Honestly, it feels more like a warehouse than an actual store though.” Yuki let out a sigh as if this didn’t really make sense to him. Teruya tilts his head.

“Really? It feels pretty normal to me.” Teruya looks around the store. One side of the store held food for them to pick out from, including convenience bentos that can be eaten cold or warmed up from the microwave, the middle held regular everyday and seasonal items, and the other side had tools that ranged from wrenches to drills. By the register was the alcohol, but he ignored it as he held no interest in it, especially since they were all minors. “Although, I guess if the store was a bit more specific then it would be more odd.”

“Specific…? Like, a clothing store?” Yuki curls his fist near his mouth. Teruya nods his head.

“Yeah, like…You wouldn’t find a clothing store selling food. That would be, like, false advertisement. People would only enter a clothing store for clothes, while they would go to a grocery store for food. Now, if there was a store that sells anything and everything, it’d only be natural that they would have a wide variety of supplies for the customers to search for. It’s not that uncommon…I think.” Teruya pauses. Yuki tilts his head.

“You sound like you know a lot about stores.” He points out. Teruya couldn’t deny that. If there was one thing he was certain about himself, it was definitely this. And yet, he didn’t know why he knew so much about stores. The puzzle piece was there, it’s just that he lacked so many others that there was no way he could understand what it could mean right now.

“It seems like it, haha…” Teruya said, rubbing his head. “I…uh, don’t know what that means about my life. My past life? It’s uh, a lot. It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally.” Yuki quickly goes quiet. So does Teruya and the little bit of small talk they managed to create disappears into awkward silence.

Teruya shifts on his feet.

He wants to say more.

But when he tries to think of something to say, it quickly grows into a struggle. Why? It’s not like they ever met before, at least according to Yuki. So there’s no reason to feel the way he does.

But every time he looks at him, he feels his stomach drop like he had fallen from a tall height. Something that made his chest tighten as his stomach twists and turns. It was a wariness that felt too damn familiar for him to ignore, but Yuki would only stare at him in pure ignorance.

Yuki didn’t know anything.

And with Teruya’s amnesia, he didn’t know anything either.

Which only made these feelings not only confusing but frustrating.

He wanted to talk to him more than anything else but he also didn’t because he doesn’t deserve his attention.

“Um…Teruya?” A small voice reaches his ears, bringing him out of his thoughts. Teruya blinks before focusing his gaze back on Yuki. How long had he zoned out? Hopefully not too long. That would only make things much more awkward between them. “Can we…investigate together?”

“Huh?” Teruya feels floored. And perhaps, a lot more anxious than he appeared to be. He points to himself. “Me? You, uh, want to investigate with me?”

“Yeah! If, uh, that’s okay with you.” Yuki said, giving him a smile. A smile that was stabbing needles into his heart, even as it swells with joy.

“Uh, sure! I don’t mind.” Teruya smiled back as it strains against his cheeks.

He minds. He minds a lot.

“Great. So…where do you want to go?” Yuki asked, adjusting his tie. Teruya pauses before scratching the back of his head.

“To be honest, I already had a…pretty decent investigation of the island with Mikado when we first woke up here. But I barely know anything about the Monocruise.” Teruya then shrugs. “Yoruko brought me outside while I was looking around my room. I didn’t pay much attention to it since I was pretty tired last night.”

“You must’ve spent a lot of energy looking after Mikado.” Yuki said before a smile grew on his face. “You’re really kind for doing that, Teruya.”

“O-Oh, um, thank you.” Teruya felt himself smile more genuinely, a little bashful at the praise. “Just…doing what I need to do.”

“Yeah…um…” Yuki then points to the doors. “Why don’t we make our way back to the Monocruise then? I’ll guide you around and then we can loop back to the entrance when we’re done.”

“Sounds good to me.” Teruya nods and the two of them leave the U-Mart without another word.

Yuki leads the way back to the Monocruise and the two of them are mostly silent as they walk. It was still a little awkward between the two of them, but once they were inside, they immediately focused on trying to investigate the Monocruise. In the hallways were a couple of grandfather clocks but none of them were working, the restrooms, bookshelves filled with books that Teruya didn’t have much interest in, and huge chandeliers that hung from the ceiling precariously. He can only hope that they don’t fall. But what did grab Teruya’s attention almost immediately was the large, double stone door that was to the right of the staircase. But when he tried to enter it, it was completely locked and Yuki explained that “Big Bro,” a.k.a. Shinji, had already tried to brute force it and it didn’t work. In the end, they decided to leave it be for now since there’s nothing they can do about it. At least, not without the risk of breaking one of the school rules.

On the first floor of the Monocruise, there was the infirmary that Teruya had already become familiar with due to taking care of Mikado in it for an entire day, but also a workout room with various equipment, including huge dumbbells, punching bags, and treadmills. There was also a ping-pong table to play, well, ping-pong, a cleaning supplies closet in case there was a spill, a large basket filled with sports balls for the basketball hoops hanging on the walls, and a nearby trash can. There was also a storage room that Teruya had to resist the urge to organize and memorize every bit of supplies and sundries left around inside, and simply said that they should leave this for another time since all of the miscellaneous stuff would take forever to sift through even with the both of them together. Yuki agreed and they left the storage room alone. The auditorium was a bit more of a sad excuse as there was a lot of space in it but nothing else aside from a clock that told the time, a piano sitting next to a desk for someone to speak from and chairs piled up on top of each other by the walls. They stopped by the dining hall to check if there was anything they could’ve missed, but it had mostly stayed the same since they were last there. The large table where they ate their meals together was still where it was left, with the chandelier hanging nearby, and shelves filled with various utensils and cups. Teruya had found some crow cards lying about in those shelves, but otherwise there was nothing useful to be gained by sticking around the dining hall. The kitchen was also attached to the dining hall, fully repaired after Mikado’s poor attempt at cooking nearly destroyed it in a fire. It looked like a fancy cooking station you’d find at a restaurant while still feeling like something you’d find in any other house in the real world. They left the kitchen untouched as well, as neither of them were hungry enough to make something for brunch.

The second floor hallway was pretty identical to the first floor in layout, minus the doorway to the left of the staircase. There were plenty of grandfather clocks and chandeliers, with doors leading to the game room, library, bathhouse, and laundry room. All of which he hadn’t checked out for himself yet.

But the one thing that caught both of their attention pretty quickly was a door almost hidden away in the corner. Unlike most doors, it was metallic with a keypad serving as it’s lock. And to top it off, there was a minigun attached in the corner and aiming directly at the door.

Out of everything they’ve seen so far, this is definitely the most suspicious thing yet.

And yet, neither Teruya or Yuki took a step closer to the door.

“…Do you want to check it?” Teruya asked, making these the first few words he had said in a while. Yuki’s jaw drops as he gapes at him.

“No way! What if I do something wrong and that minigun goes off??” Yuki points at said weapon. “I’ll be turned into Swiss cheese!” Teruya couldn’t help but snort and cringe at the same time.

“Y-Yeah…that wouldn’t be good at all.” Teruya agreed but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the door. Yuki sighs.

“We all tried to think of ways to enter the room, but…none of us has the guts to try the keypad. Not with that minigun silently threatening us with death.” Yuki shudders as he adjusts his tie. “It wouldn’t be a good idea anyways. We don’t have any hints on what the passcode could be, so the effort would just be useless.”

“I think that’s a wise decision. I don’t want you guys to get hurt when our chances are so low.” Still, that door is going to bother him for as long as he's aware that it's here. Teruya forces himself to turn away. "Let's just check out the rest of the floor."

"Ah, right." Yuki doesn't say anything else, leaving the both of them in awkward silence once more.

Teruya almost wanted to say something.

But his mind was blank, so he kept his mouth shut.

The library was, naturally, filled up with books, with the shelves lined up against the walls. The bathhouse has cabinets for changing, a cleaning supply closet, a clock, shower stalls, and, of course, a large hot tub to relax in. Now wasn't the time to take a bath, though, and they left without bringing up the idea of having a shared bath. You know, to deepen their bonds as friends.

He did find some money in the bathtub, though.

("...Who left their card here??")

("I don't know, but it's mine now!")

("You're…surprisingly greedy.")

("Hey, you can't live without money, you know!")

("...Unfortunately, you're right.")

The laundry room was probably the most normal room there was on the Monocruise, being of decent size with a few washing machines and dryers to accommodate everyone on the Monocruise. The game room, though, was everything a minor should steer clear from for their age: roulette tables that reminded Teruya of casinos, slot machines that pour out coins when you manage to line up three of the same images, and a shelf behind the counter that held plenty of alcohol of different types. Teruya can’t help but grimace at the amount of games that are just begging to give someone a gambling addiction.

“I can’t believe there’s a room like this here. Isn’t this supposed to be a school field trip for high schoolers?” Teruya questioned, absently running his hand along a nearby pool table. It was clearly of high quality and he had a feeling that Setsuka would love spending her time here if she hasn’t already.

“Honestly, I’d agree with you if this was a normal school trip.” Yuki said before a random note of a piano key being hit was heard. Teruya turns the corner to see his fellow student nearby the piano, testing it out if only to distract himself. He closes his eyes with a sigh. “But this is the School Trip of Mutual Killing. Nothing about this has been normal since we got here.” He then pauses before furrowing his brow. “Besides, Hope’s Peak Academy did invite the Ultimate Gambler before. Stuff like this on a Hope’s Peak school trip would probably be normal since they would want to see the Ultimate Gambler in action.”

“…That would actually make a lot more sense.” Teruya scratches his forehead. If Hope’s Peak Academy was more than willing to invite students that had more…questionable talents, then of course they’d have the resources to help support and nurture them as well. Hell, they had Yoruko, who was the Ultimate Hostess, and Syobai, the Ultimate Broker. While Yoruko’s talent is a lot more innocuous compared to the literal criminal, she was still breaking the law by lying about her age to work in an age-restricted job. And yet, they were still willing to take both of them. Albeit they had to blackmail Yoruko to agree to come. Syobai…he’s not certain about his reasons for why he chose to come, or if he was also blackmailed, but either way, he was here as well. “…Still, none of us are the Ultimate Gambler so I don’t know why we have this room.”

“Yeah, it kinda just…exists. It’s not as if we can’t have fun here and we don’t really have any money to make any bets anyway…unless you count the Crow Cards.” Yuki then pulls away from the piano, smiling as he points to a set of double doors. “But, hey. At least there’s a gift shop here.”

“Oh yeah! Monocrow mentioned the gift shop before.” Teruya said, lighting up at the mention. He raises his hands as his body automatically moves towards the door without another thought. “So it’s here? What’s in the shop?”

“Well…about anything you can find at a tourist shop, I think. With some…odd stuff mixed in.” Yuki said, scratching his cheek with his finger. Teruya pauses upon grabbing the handle, turning to direct his raised eyebrow at Yuki. The student simply shrugs as he smiles awkwardly. “I think you’ll understand once you see it.”

“Alright…” Despite acknowledging the strange comment, it didn’t stop the feeling of excitement rising in his gut. Teruya tugs on the handle and the door slides open, revealing what was inside.

And his heart nearly lept in joy.

Inside were rows and rows of shelves filled with all sorts of supplies of different varieties. Art supplies, notebooks, snacks…you name it, the gift shop probably has it. It was decently large for the amount of goods it had in store, and even had a register counter by the front to pay for the supplies, although no one was there to man it. Teruya almost wondered if someone had tried to shoplift from the gift shop but he quickly shoots that idea down in his head. With the existence of Crow Cards, Monocrow would clearly want that currency to be used throughout this school trip. And while there was no repercussions from taking anything from the U-Mart, it may be because the mart was on the island since it was founded and would have convenience goods that wouldn’t be out of place for its store. The gift shop, on the other hand, was a part of the Monocruise, and is under Monocrow’s jurisdiction. If Monocrow wants them to pay for the goods in the gift shop, he will make them even if he has to threaten them with punishment.

Not that Teruya found himself caring.

He was just…so excited and comforted at the sight of the shop.

He doesn’t know or understand why he’s reacting the way he is now. It was just a shop, after all. One that you can probably find anywhere in the world, as long as the concept of currency or even bartering existed. A place where you can find goods that range from daily necessities to snacks to entertainment to unnecessary knickknacks and decorations.

But, Teruya didn’t care.

It made him happy to be here. And for once, he allowed himself this moment to bask in it, regardless of the circumstances that surrounded him.

“Oh…Oh my god…!” The words slipped out of Teruya’s mouth without thinking about how he looked. He just runs over to the nearest aisle, unable to keep himself from bouncing off of his heels as he goes. The aisle seems to be where the toys are, and he grabbed a rainbow spring toy off the shelf to let it hang from his hand. Yuki, who seemed to have followed him inside, watches as the amnesiac played with the toy in his hand. “Yuki! Yuki, look at this! There’s so much to look at!”

“I-I can see that, Teruya.” Yuki laughs like he was unable to comprehend what he was seeing before him. “Geez, you look like a kid exploring a new place for the first time.”

“I mean, technically, it is a place I haven’t been to before.” Teruya tosses the spring toy back to its little basket. Not a single bit of his memories have come back to him yet, but that didn’t mean he was going to push away this sense of comfort. He walks over to Yuki and wraps an arm around him. Yuki blinks in surprise at the closeness and Teruya was too distracted by his own joy to take note of the uncomfortable tightness in his chest. He points as he speaks. “But there’s loads of stuff you can get here! There’s shampoo and conditioner in that aisle, snacks over there, some stationary supplies and…” He falters when his eyes land on something he feels like he shouldn’t be seeing so out in the open. “Is…Is that bondage gear?”

“Yeeep.” Yuki closes his eyes with a grimace. “Like I said before, there’s some odd stuff.”

“I, why is there bondage gear here!??” Teruya scrunched up his face, pulling Yuki closer to him. “We’re…We’re minors! And this is a school trip, I…What the hell??”

“Let’s, uh, just ignore it! We’re here to investigate, not, uh, get distracted by weird stuff.” Yuki suggests, taking his arm off of his shoulder. Teruya ignores the jab of disappointment upon the lack of contact but he gets over it pretty quickly.

“Right, right. Let’s just…avoid that aisle then and look around.” Teruya agrees, deciding that it was best to move on unless he wished to waste any more time. He heads to the back of the room and finds two other oddities in the shop. One was a vending machine that was half black and half white, like it was shaped in Monocrow’s image and he instantly didn’t like it. The other was the rows of arcade games that ranged from Pac-Man (shaped like, again, Monocrow) and a dancing game that wasn’t Dance Dance Revelution, but definitely similar where you have to time your steps to the beat of the song. He approached the games with curiosity, and Yuki almost instantly appeared by his side like he was also interested in the arcade. “Huh…Why do you think this is here? It’d fit more in the game room itself.”

Yuki opens his mouth to make a suggestion but—

“Allow me to answer that question.”

They couldn’t help it.

They screamed, jumping into each other’s arms as the person — no, that damn thing called Monocrow — suddenly pops out of nowhere in front of the arcade cabinets. The minute they realized who it was, their fear was immediately replaced with disdain.

“You — You son of a bitch!” Teruya snaps, nearly swatting Monocrow off of the cabinet. He squawks indignantly, flapping his wings as if to make himself bigger.

“Hey, hey! Violence against your teacher is against the school rules!” Monocrow says, reminding Teruya that he was on thinner ice than he liked. Yuki scowls at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“You’re not our teacher! You’re a part of the mastermind’s scheme!!” Yuki yells as he clenched his fists. Monocrow sighs, lowering his head.

“Both can be true, you know…” The crow then shakes his head. “But nevermind that. I will let go of your near violation since the hit didn’t land. But you best not risk that again, Mr. Otori.” Teruya grimaces but slowly nods his head. He shouldn’t put his life in danger for something as stupid as breaking a school rule. Especially one that can easily be avoided. “Anyways, you’re curious about these arcade machines, are you not?”

“I mean…yeah.” Teruya admits and slowly nods his head. Yuki lowers his hands but he was watching Monocrow warily. Teruya eyes the arcade cabinets. “Why are they in the shop instead of the game room?”

“Well, to put it simply, I thought having these games in here would be more convenient for you all.” Monocrow said, raising his head. Yuki frowns.

“Convenient?” Yuki adjusts his tie and Monocrow nods before rubbing his wing against his beak.

“Indeed. You see, not only did I hide Crow Cards all around the island and Monocruise, I’ve installed these games to reward you!” Monocrow spreads out his wings, almost as if he was proud of himself. Teruya didn’t understand what he meant by that until Yuki’s eyes go wide.

“Wait…Are you saying that these arcade machines can give us Crow Cards?” Yuki cranes his neck at the machines and Teruya does a double take. Arcade games that give out free money? Even with his amnesia, this feels like a first for him.

“Absolutely! I know not all of you are willing to go on a scavenger hunt for the Crow Cards I’ve hidden throughout the island, even though I encourage investigation…But I couldn’t just leave my students penniless! Consider this as an…alternative way to gain money. To an extent of course.” Monocrow nods his head at the cabinets. Teruya managed to catch his last words and frowns.

“‘To an extent?’ What do you mean by that?” Teruya raised an eyebrow at the bird. Monocrow simply huffs, turning his beak up at him. Which would’ve been funny with how small he is compared him, but the amnesiac only found it annoying.

“I mean that you all only have a limited amount of tries for the games. I can’t just let you get rich so easily by spending all of your hours playing games!” Monocrow flaps his wings at Teruya again. “Each student has about three tickets on their e-handbook+, and regardless of which games you play, the cabinets were made to keep track of the amount of tickets you have. In other words, you can’t spend three tickets on Crow-Man and then try to spend three more tickets on DanceRush Stardom.”

“Please tell me that’s not your version of PAC-Man.” Yuki asked, despite already knowing the answer just by looking at the arcade machine in question.

“Regardless, the tickets will be replenished by the end of the week, and you’ll only get enough Crow Cards according to your high score.” Monocrow said, completely ignoring Yuki’s words. The student narrows his eyes at the bird but sighs, completely giving up on the topic.

“So, basically…” Teruya frowns as he tries his best to understand Monocrow’s words. “If you get a good score, you’ll get plenty of cash. However, if you sucked at the game and get a bad score, you won’t get much and end up wasting your time.”

“Precisely!” Monocrow blushed (somehow), speaking almost cheerily at Teruya’s words. Teruya wasn’t sure if he should be proud of himself or disturbed that Monocrow was praising him at all. “So do choose your games wisely! There’s nothing wrong with having too much cash, after all.”

“I…see.” Teruya eyes the arcade cabinets before him. Now that Monocrow explained what their purpose was, it made more sense to have them inside the store than the game room. While the game room was literally one door away, having the one and only arcade games that give out money inside the store made sense if you want your customers to spend their money there. After all, you can’t forget to spend your money when you’re literally inside the store. And if you want a specific item but don’t have enough cash, you can just walk over to a game right then and there and play a round in the hopes of getting a decent score that would reward you. Teruya brings his gaze towards the black and white vending machine and points to it. He might as well gather as much information that he can squeeze out of Monocrow while he’s here. “What about that one?”

“Oh, that’s the Monocrow Machine I mentioned before.” Monocrow lowers his wings and turns towards the vending machine in question. “For five-hundred Crows, you can get any item from the gift shop for cheap, however, it is completely randomized and based on luck. So you’ll have to hope you’ll get what you wanted. But who knows? Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to get some special gifts.”

“Special gifts? What kind?” Yuki looks over the Monocrow Machine, more curious than anything else now.

“That, I will let you find out on your own.” Monocrow brushes his wing against his beak. “If that is all the questions you have, I shall be taking my leave.”

“…You wouldn’t give us a reason on why this killing game is happening anyway, would you?” Teruya muttered as his gut twists. Monocrow chuckles, only confirming his suspicions.

“Is despair simply not a good enough reason for you?” And before Teruya could tell him ‘no, it isn’t,’ Monocrow disappears behind one of the machines and is gone. He knew the moment he left his sight that there was no point in trying to chase down the stupid bird to grill him for answers. It would just be a waste of time anyways.

“Well…I think that’s all we can get from the gift shop, right, Yuki?” Teruya said, turning to his classmate. Just in time to see Yuki pull on the lever of the Monocrow Machine. He gapes. “Wha — Yuki!”

“Huh?” Yuki jumps at the sudden call of his name. He turns away from the machine with wide eyes. “What??”

“Why are you using the machine?? You don’t need to use it when you can just buy what you need here, right?” Teruya gestures to the shelves with all the goods that were in plain sight. Yuki winces but frowns.

“I mean, you’re right…but, if you can get anything from the machine for just five-hundred Crows, that’s actually really cheap and some of the stuff here can be really expensive.” Yuki said, scratching his cheek as if he was embarrassed. Teruya frowned before glancing at the nearest price tag, which just so happened to be for a Playrotation4 and…

Oh.

That’s actually pretty steep.

Even Teruya, who had been scavenging every nook and cranny to find Crow Cards, didn’t have enough Crows to buy it right off the shelf.

“…Okay, I can see your point — wait a minute!” Teruya whirls around when a realization hits him and he points at the game station. “Why would anyone spend money on a Playrotation4?? It’s not like we need something like this and we’re in the middle of a killing game! We shouldn’t get ourselves distracted by stuff like this.”

“A-And you’re right! It’s just…just…” Yuki hesitates, mumbling something under his breath. Teruya raises an eyebrow at him but remains patient as he tugs on his tie nervously. “Sorry…I just…I can't concentrate on the killing game all the time. When I do, I…I get really, really scared. And then I remember how Syobai nearly stabbed me, and start thinking that anyone might be willing to do that, and then it just…just spirals from there. You know?”

“Ah…” That…actually makes sense. It’d be natural to suspect that everyone was out to get each other. Especially since one person already tried to take a life, even without hearing all the rules. How can Yuki not be paranoid? Teruya feels himself soften up as he presses his hand against his chest. “I think I understand. It is a dangerous situation, and you could’ve gotten hurt.”

“Yeah…Which is why I’m glad you were there, Teruya.” Yuki smiles at him, almost stopping Teruya’s heart as it clenched tightly. “If you hadn’t intervened, I might not be standing here right now. Even if you could’ve gotten hurt in my place…”

“O-Oh, it’s…it’s no problem.” Teruya forced himself to smile. “I…I mean, anyone would do that if they weren’t frozen in shock. Hell, I bet Shinji would’ve done everything in his power to protect you if he wasn’t carrying Mikado at the time.”

“Haha, y-yeah, I bet he would.” Yuki chuckles as he closes his eyes, scratching his cheek. The Monocrow Machine goes off and something clatters into the drop-off box, but neither of them paid much attention to it right now. He sighs, the smile falling off of his face. “I’m…grateful that you did that for me. But I also wished you didn’t have to. You could’ve gotten hurt in my place.”

“Hey, don’t say that. You, You’re worth protecting.” Teruya ignored the way he stuttered on his last words. He means it, he really does.

So why was it so hard to say it out loud?

“Mmm…Still…I wish I can repay you back. You deserve something in return for protecting someone like me. And protecting Yoruko, too.” Yuki slumps over and Teruya can’t help but feel surprised at the sight. He didn’t think Yuki had such a low opinion of himself. Sure, he was an ordinary student that got into Hope’s Peak Academy through a lottery, but he had still made it, didn’t he? Teruya didn’t even know his own talent or his past thanks to his amnesia, and the few clues he had were small things that barely told a full story. He didn’t know himself, but at least Yuki knew who he was.

Right?

…He should try to cheer him up. Maybe…

“…Maybe you should take me out for lunch?” Teruya suggested before he could doubt himself again. Yuki lifts his head, opening his eyes wide with surprise. The amnesiac just gave him a shrug. “You won’t stop expressing your gratitude to me, even though I’ve already accepted it. Sooo, if you want to do something more, you can just take me to your favorite place to eat and we can call it even. Once we get out of here, of course.”

“Teruya…” Yuki said, almost like he was in awe. Teruya tried not to shift. It’s not like getting lunch with someone else was anything weird or noteworthy. It’s something people do all the time. Yuki then smiles. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Huh? Really?” There it was again, that surprise. An emotion that only lasted for a moment, but it was there.

“Yeah. There’s actually a really good ramen shop near my house. I’ll take you there, alright?” Yuki said, almost like he was happy at the thought. Teruya…wasn’t sure how he felt about this. He thought for sure Yuki would have turned him down. But he returns the smile, feeling more genuine this time around.

“Then it’s a promise.” Teruya then gestures to the Monocrow Machine, trying to keep up this nonchalant air about him. There’s no need to make a big deal about it. “What did you get?”

“Oh…! Right, uh…” Yuki turns towards the machine, kneeling down to grab his item from the drop-box. The minute he pulled it out, Teruya felt his heart leap at the sight. It was a spray bottle, one with a black cover that made the rainbow stand out in contrast. Yuki furrows his brow. “Oh, it’s just a spray bottle…”

“It is, isn’t it??” Teruya couldn’t stop the excitement that leaked into his voice. Yuki gapes at him as he hovers right over his shoulder. “D-Do you mind if I see it? Just for a second! I’ll give it right back!”

“Uh, sure. Go nuts.” Yuki gives up the spray bottle pretty quickly, letting Teruya snatch it right out of his hand. He takes a moment to marvel at it, rubbing his thumb along the rainbow colors of the spray bottle. He then lifts it up, keeping the button angled away from him before pressing down on it.

A beautiful spray of rainbows comes out and Teruya grins from ear to ear.

“Good golly! This…This thang is the real deal! Look at this color here, Yuki! It’s so vibrant!” Teruya said, spraying the color out a few times to emphasize his point. Yuki laughs, albeit awkwardly and perhaps a little confused.

“Wow, uh…what’s with that sudden accent?” Yuki asked, and Teruya raised an eyebrow at him.

“What accent?” He said, completely missing the way his accent had changed in his excitement.

“…Nevermind. It’s not important.” Yuki is quick to drop the topic and Teruya wasn’t interested in pursuing it anyways. He looks down at the spray bottle in his hand, almost reluctant in giving it back even though it would be going against his word. The student stares at him before smiling. “You can keep it if you want?”

“Really?!” Teruya can feel his eyes shining as he raises his head. “Y-Ya sayin’ I can have it?! For free?!” And when Yuki nods his head, Teruya tosses his arms around his classmate before he could think better of it and starts jumping up and down. “Thanks, Yuki! You have no idea how happy I am about this!”

“I-I’m glad you’re happy, Teruya…” Yuki said, although his voice was a bit muffled due to having his face buried into Teruya’s chest. Before he can complain about it, though, the amnesiac lets him go and starts putting away his precious gift. The student sighs and straightens his posture. “I think that’s everything we can investigate from this place. Right?”

“Mmm…I think so?” Teruya looks back at the aisles, thinking over what he saw and had been told. “…Even with just a glimpse, I can tell that this spray bottle isn’t in stock.”

“Huh…Is that what Monocrow meant when he said you can get special gifts from the machine?” Yuki asked, curling his hand near his chin. Teruya frowned.

“That sounds like a gacha system.” Teruya said, before approaching the machine to test that theory out for himself. With just a quick examination of how it works, all Teruya had to do was swipe his handbook over the scanner to use the Crow Card function, and then pull the level. After some loud scattering sounds inside the machine, it rings as it drops its prize into the drop-off box. He kneels down and pulls out…another mineral water bottle. Which he can get anywhere else, even at the U-Mart. The disappointment was palpable. “It is a gacha system.”

“You sound so disappointed.” Yuki deadpans, which only prompts Teruya to tighten his fists.

“Of course I am! It’s a money sink that relies purely on luck for the one thing you desire. A system that practically encourages gambling in exchange for a single item you may not even get. And even if you don’t mind having the common items, you’ll run out of space eventually if you’re aiming for the ‘best’ prize. You’ll need some good goddamn luck to get what you want in your first few pulls, otherwise you’ll just be wasting money you could be spending on something else.” Teruya huffs as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I worry about the customers' wallet sometimes.”

“Wow, you’re…surprisingly passionate about this.” Yuki points out, surprised at his sudden rant.

“Of course I am. How can people spend money if they’re spending too much of it on this one thing that isn’t guaranteed to give them what they want. Not to mention the kind of repercussions a gambling addiction can have on someone’s life…” Teruya trails off.

Why…is he so passionate over something like this? It’s not as if it’s his business on how much money people spend on something they want, right? But…what if they need that money for something they need? Like, food, water, clothes…If they spend it all on a prize that may not have much use of, how can they support themselves?

…Teruya decided to simply chalk it up to human decency. No one in their right mind would want someone to end up with an addiction of any kind. 

“Well…whatever. Here, you can have this, Yuki.” Teruya said, raising the water bottle up to his classmate. Yuki blinks his eyes before his hand hovers over the drink.

“Are you sure? I think this is mineral water.”

“Yeah, I already got one back at the U-Mart.” There was no point in having two when he hadn't even opened the first one yet. That seemed to encourage Yuki to take the water bottle from him with a smile.

“Thanks, Teruya. I was feeling a little parched from all the talking.” Yuki immediately opens the bottle to take a sip from it. Teruya brings his attention back to the Monocrow Machine, frowns, before swiping his handbook over the scanner again. Yuki sputters on his drink. “Y-You’re using the Monocrow Machine again?”

“Yep.” Teruya pulls the lever down. “…You said you wanted the Playrotation4, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I do, but…you don't have to go out of your way to get one. Especially when you don’t like the Monocrow Machine. And like you said before, I don’t really need it…” Yuki tries to get him to back out of the idea but Teruya just smiles at him.

“Because you said that you can’t concentrate on the killing game twenty-four seven, right? When you do, you get scared and paranoid…That’s not good when we’re in a killing game.” Teruya kept his tone gentle and tried not to sound overbearing in the process. “If playing games helps distract you from your thoughts and keep you calm, I don’t see why you shouldn’t have it. Besides, I wanna get you something and I don’t have enough Crow Cards right now to buy it off the shelf.”

“But…” 

“No buts! I’m getting you that Playrotation4, I swear it.” Teruya wags his finger at Yuki and he starts to crack a smile again.

It was then that the Monocrow Machine started to act out.

It rings, signaling that the prize had fallen into the drop-box, but then it shakes and rattles violently. Teruya and Yuki both jumped at the sounds as it felt as though something was going to go wrong. But, nothing else happens and the Monocrow Machine goes silent again.

Teruya didn’t take another step forward. He only turned to Yuki with a paling face.

“…It didn’t break…right?” Teruya asked nervously. After all, it was against the rules to break school property, and that would include the Monocrow Machine, right?

“Uh…” Yuki looks around. Even when a minute passes, no one shows up and he shrugs. “I think you’re fine. Monocrow hasn’t popped out of nowhere yet, so…”

“I-In that case, I should grab my prize before anything else happens.” Teruya leans over and reaches into the drop-box. However, when he grabs a hold of its thin, seemingly rectangular frame, its side hit the opening of the drop-box and couldn’t be slid out. Teruya frowns, trying to pull it out again but even when he tries to tilt it at a different angle or wiggle it out, the results are the same. “Shit. I think it’s stuck. Hey, Yuki, can you keep the flap open for me?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” Yuki kneels down beside him and Teruya scoots over to give him a bit more space. After what felt like more than five minutes of wiggling, adjusting, and a little bit of cussing over the prize, they finally manage to slide it out of the opening.

And Teruya nearly drops it when he sees it.

It was a portrait of a young man, probably — no, definitely their age and staring straight at them in boredom. His hair was a mess and his tie was undone along with the collar of his button-up, but he knew this face.

He knew it was Yuki Maeda.

Yuki Maeda, who he should know.

Yuki Maeda, who was his classmate.

Yuki Maeda, who was his friend.

And Yuki Maeda was standing before him, bored as he felt himself sink to his knees. Hearing the words he was saying but struggling to comprehend it all.

To deny it all.

And yet, he kept talking.

He kept talking about a truth he was desperate to deny.

“—your money. So, your friends’ deaths? They’re all your fault.”

And Teruya Otori felt himself sink.

Teruya.

Teruya.

“Teruya!”

Teruya blinked.

He stares at Yuki, who has started to shake him by his shoulders.

“Teruya! Finally!” Yuki sighs, as if he was relieved. Why? “You looked so pale and stopped responding to me when I tried to talk to you. Are you okay?”

Okay? How was he okay?

“…It’s you.” The words slip from his mouth numbly. Yuki blinks at him and Teruya’s gaze slowly goes back to the portrait that laid between them. “That’s you in the portrait.”

“Ah, the portrait…” Yuki let’s go, finally. He stares down at the portrait and visibly shudders. “I mean, it’s really uncanny. I won’t deny that. But…”

He frowns.

And then looks Teruya straight in the eye.

“But that’s not me.”

….It’s not?

“Uh, yeah. It’s not.” Yuki said, almost pouting now. Teruya swallows as he realizes that he had said that out loud. “I’ve never had myself painted before, so it couldn’t be me. I mean, I’m pretty sure the guy is wearing my school’s uniform but…” His frown became deeper as Teruya kept staring at him. “Look, maybe it’d be easier for you to believe me if you compare me to the guy in the picture.”

“Uh…” Teruya tried to come up with something to say. To tell Yuki that no, that really is him in the portrait. That this repulsive person looked too much like him to deny it.

But, he couldn’t say it.

Not when his heart ached so much in a way he couldn’t describe.

And when Yuki carefully props the painting beside him so Teruya can better compare their looks, he slowly realizes that he was right.

The differences were subtle. Sure, when you ignore the bored expression and messy appearance, they still looked similar enough to be mistaken for each other. But when you actively compare them side by side, it'd be hard not to notice those subtle differences. The one in the painting had much tanner skin in comparison to Yuki’s obviously paler complexion, along with dark brown eyes and a rounder facial structure. The Yuki Maeda sitting before him has lighter brown eyes and a slightly sharper face. Even their ginger hair was different, as the man in the portrait had a darker shade that leaned more towards yellow while Yuki’s was brighter and more red. And to top it all off…

“...He’s missing your ahoge.” Teruya noticed out loud, almost dumbly. Yuki blinked, looked back at the portrait, and then started to pout again.

“That’s the most important thing you noticed?” Yuki said, clearly exasperated. The tone of voice actually got Teruya to chuckle, feeling the tension slowly seep out from his shoulders as he sagged. It was still there, but he started to feel…a bit more like himself. A bit more ingrained in reality now.

“Sorry, sorry. It was just the first words I thought to say.” Teruya felt himself smile a little bit as Yuki’s pout only got stronger.

“Seriously…? It’s not my fault that this is the only cowlick I can’t get rid of.” Yuki muttered, even though Teruya could still hear him. It was obvious that the ahoge is a bit of an insecurity with the way he kept brushing his hand over it the minute it was brought up.

“If it’s any consolation, I think it’s cool. It makes you stand out.” Teruya reaches over and flicks the ahoge with his finger. Yuki swats his hand away.

“Stop that! I sometimes spend an hour trying to get rid of it. Don’t you do the same??” Yuki points at the tall ahoge Teruya sported himself. Teruya felt a smile grow on his face, even though it was definitely an awkward one.

“...Actually, I have to use hair gel to get my hair like this.” He admits sheepishly. Yuki’s stare quickly becomes incredulous.

“...You do it on purpose?!” Yuki gaped at him with those wide eyes again, and Teruya finally laughed. The student huffs before pushing the portrait into his space. “W-Whatever, just take your prize already!”

“Alright, alright!” Teruya takes the portrait from Yuki, still chuckling over his classmate’s overreaction. Yuki rubs his cheeks as if to forcefully get rid of the smile that Teruya had caught a glimpse of before going back to a neutral expression. Teruya looks down at the portrait, his smile falling off of his face as the man stared back at him. “...He feels familiar.”

“Well, he does look like me. It’s really eerie.” Yuki mutters as he closes his eyes and a sweat drop forms on his cheek. Teruya frowns.

“No, I mean…” Teruya tightens his grip on the portrait. “I think I knew this guy.”

“...Oh!” Yuki opens his eyes in surprise. “Did you remember something?? What is it?”

“I…don’t know.” Teruya lays the portrait on his lap. He stares at his bored eyes and wishes he could wipe that damn look off of his face. “...I think I hate him.”

“...Oh.” Yuki deflates upon the realization that it wasn’t a happy memory. If Teruya could even call it a memory. It was more of a gut feeling than anything else. He sighs. “Well…Not everything in your life is gonna be sunshine and rainbows.”

“I guess…” Teruya hesitates, his eyes darting between the portrait and Yuki. He swallows and takes the plunge. “Yuki. Are you…sure we have never met before?”

Yuki was silent.

And for once, his eyes were really scrutinizing him. Like he was actually trying to figure out if he had seen him before or not.

But he slowly shakes his head.

“No. We’ve never met personally.” Yuki said, before looking down and curling his hand near his chin. “…Sorry.”

“Oh…” What else could he say to that? It’s not like he can just tell Yuki that he’s a liar. He’s not the one with amnesia. Teruya was. And he doesn’t have any evidence that would contradict this.

Aside from the very heavy feeling on his tongue every time he speaks his name.

But besides that, he can only take him at his word right now.

“…Okay. Sorry that I keep bothering you over this.” Teruya said, even though this probably isn’t something he had to apologize for. Yuki gives him a small smile.

“H-Hey, you don’t have to apologize over that. I wish I could do more for you but alas…” Yuki waves his hands placatingly as he trails off. He then drops them into his lap. “Anyway, should we keep investigating the Monocruise?”

“Hm…” Teruya thinks it over his head, wondering if he should keep investigating with Yuki. But then he takes his eyes off of him, sees it — or rather, her — and thinks better of it. “Actually, I think that’s all we can do on the Monocruise. We explored everything we could…at least, not without spending hours going through every nook and cranny in the storage room. And the next two floors are for the dormitories, so I’m sure everyone explored their rooms to the best of their ability.”

“That’s true…There’s nothing else up there other than the bathrooms.” Yuki said, scratching his finger at his cheek. He then stands up, sending Teruya a smile. “Then, I guess I’ll go investigate somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna stay here for a couple more minutes. Maybe stop by the storage room later.” Teruya nods his head towards the exit of the store. “I’ll see you around, Yuki.”

“See ya, Teruya.” Yuki then turns to leave the store, sees her, and tries to ignore her as he leaves. Teruya watches him go until he disappears, and then brings his attention back to the portrait.

…He could throw it out.

No one would be able to stop him if it did.

And it was technically his, so he had the right to do whatever he wanted with the portrait.

But…it’d be a waste for him to do that.

He just spent five-hundred Crows for this prize. Even if he didn’t like it, he should at least find some sort of use for it. Or just give it away to someone that may like it. Maybe Iroha or Emma would take better care of it than him.

Even if his heart tugged in a way he had trouble explaining.

Teruya manages to put the portrait into his backpack, and clasp it back closed, hefting it back onto his shoulders with a grunt. His eyes rove over the items in the store, lingering on the pens and journals in the school supplies section. Something that he considers buying right this second. But eventually, he turns back to the Monocrow Machine and pays the necessary Crows again. He felt a bit of shame in playing into the gacha ploy. But even he couldn’t resist the idea of getting those rare items.

And Teruya did swear he’ll get Yuki that Playrotation4 somehow. He just has to be careful with how much he spends on the Monocrow Machine.

At least hanging out with Yuki wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.

He just can’t shake off this uncomfortable deja vu he’d been feeling this whole time.

…Or the drone that has been watching his every move since his investigation of the U-Mart.

Your relationship rank with Yuki Maeda has risen from 0 to 1!

Yuki Maeda’s information has been recorded in the e-Handbook+’s profile page.

[rookie-critic]

Con Air (1997, dir. Simon West) - review by Rookie-Critic

What an absolutely wild time the late '90s must have been that this was a big blockbuster production. 1997 alone was absolutely wild, with this, Event Horizon, Contact, Face/Off, and so many others dropping all within the same cycle around the sun. Studios were really just throwing absolutely anything at the wall to see what stuck, and sometimes it really paid off (Strarship Troopers), and other times it didn't (Speed 2: Cruise Control), and sometimes I think it landed right in the middle, somewhere between good and awful, where it's really riding that line, but is just self-aware enough to be incredibly entertaining, and that's where Con Air lives. You have Nic Cage there to bring the zaniness, to give us brilliant moments like the classic "put the bunny back in the box" scene, and the absolutely asinine premise completely backs him up and gives him as much room to play around in this bananas space as he wants. There are some side characters that also help the zaniness move itself right along (I'm lookin' at you, Danny Trejo and Dave Chappelle). The one-liners range from eye-roll inducing to exceedingly clever, and the action set pieces are big and bombastic and generally just a crazy, explosive good time. All of this is fun. It doesn't hold together in the slightest, but it is fun. However, you then have Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, and John Malkovich delivering absolutely great performances that aren't Cage's brand of "good by humorous proxy," they're actually just really good. I found myself slack-jawed from the whiplash between bonkers scenes of Cage using the body of a dead con to send a message to ground level (something that I really don't think would have actually worked, which is indicative of a lot of the stuff in this film), and these amazing scenes where Malkovich or Buscemi just get to interact with their environment or even just give a line read that is way above and beyond the quality of the line itself. I know that Malkovich, at this point in his career, has almost become a bit of a meme (possibly in part due to the general goofiness of his name, probably in part due to the 1999 cult classic film Being John Malkovich, which I don't think he ever really was able to reclaim himself from fully), but damn, he's just an amazing actor, and this is someone saying this in reference to his performance in Con Air, of all things!

I don't want to just rant my bias for goofy self-aware action films on this one, though. For one, I already did that recently with Plane (which Con Air is vastly more ridiculous than), and two, there are quite a few problematic things in this film [TW AHEAD: mentions of rape]. I think firstly is Danny Trejo's character in general, who is a con doing time for raping 23 women, possibly more. His entire arc as a character is that there is one female guard that is a hostage onboard the plane, and Trejo wants nothing more than to... well, you get the idea. Granted, everyone else in the film, even the other criminally insane convicts, try to prevent him from accomplishing this, and the film is not so depraved as to ever actually let him get away with it, but it was something that was massively uncomfortable anytime it was given attention, and something that was, at the time, probably seen as "edgy" or "envelope pushing," but really was just incredibly problematic. The film is also just kind of vaguely racist any time a white character is referring to a nonwhite character, especially at the beginning. There's also a character, referred to in the end credits of the film as "Sally-Can't-Dance," (I have looked it up and the character's name is actually Ramon Martinez, which I think they're maybe only referred to as once in passing) that is a... problematic(?) portrayal of a character that is trans (again, while watching the film I wasn't entirely sure they were being presented as trans, but every article and piece of writing I've looked at refers to them as trans, so I'm going with that). I put a question mark next to problematic in the last sentence because, while Ramon never does or says anything that is inherently problematic or questionable, the way that everything surrounding them presents is like the butt of a joke, like we as the audience are meant to be laughing at "how ridiculous this character is." Maybe that's an incorrect read, but regardless it didn't sit right with me. It also has that classic, cheesy as all get out opening and closing with an incredibly sappy song that has no business being in a movie that is even remotely like Con Air. In this case, the song is the Dianne Warren-penned, Trisha Yearwood-performed "How Do I Live," which I had no idea was actually written for the film and was even nominated for an Oscar at that years' Academy Awards, where Con Air was also nominated for Best Sound. Granted, those are two fitting categories I guess, but the fact that this film was nominated for not one, but two Oscars is absolutely baffling. Getting back on track, it follows in the steps of songs like Top Gun's "Take My Breath Away" and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves' "Everything I Do (I Do It for You)" as songs that clash in every possible way with the films they were written for, and it's an aspect of action films from that era that I am so, so happy has not carried over to the present. Despite all of these many faults, I can't lie and say that I didn't have a lot of fun with Con Air. I'm not sure I can recommend it in good faith, but if you're a fan of dumb, bananas action movies like I am, then Con Air basically fits the bill.

Score: 6/10

Currently unavailable to stream unless you have the Live TV add-on on Hulu. It is available to rent/purchase on digital (iTunes, Amazon, Vudu, etc.) and on Blu-ray & DVD through Disney/Buena Vista.

[edisacornball]

My 2022 Fics, Ranked!

I did this last year, and it was honestly a really good way to end my year, by meditating on what I most enjoyed writing, what I was most proud of, and what I thought I could improve. It really helped me to go into the next year thinking about how to be even more of the writer I want to be. So of course I'm doing it again!

At least this year should be easier than the twenty-seven fics I ranked last year.

What I find really hilarious is that this year, my ranking happens to line up perfectly with each story's number of hits. (As in, my favorite has the most hits, least favorite has the least.) Apparently, this year I agree with how much everyone else liked my work!

(Ranked from least to most favorite)

8. Yin and Yang: The First Soul Mates Continuation — I feel kind of bad for this one because it's basically just last by default. This is a fic I adopted from another author, and I'm still finishing up my first chapter for it. So it hasn't really actually gotten content yet and is sort of sitting in this half-published purgatory. Once I update it, I'm going to do a major overhaul, and I'm super excited to start working on it, so this is a ranking of potential, lol.

7. Alchemy Started in the Kitchen — I mean, I love these recipes a lot. I've been cooking them for years. But I mostly just published this so people would have a chance to actually reference these recipes without me having a really long author's note. I just don't really see myself as a cookbook author, I guess?

6. With Hands Raised to the Sky — This one's kind of an "it's fine" story to me. I liked writing it, and there's not really anything wrong with it, it's just not a fic that gets me really excited or emotional. I was just sitting in the hospital and extremely bored and didn't have access to all my WIP chapters, so I entertained myself by writing oneshots instead.

5. The Light We Let In (On the Subjectivity of Pain) — I only added one "chapter" to this collection this year, so it's almost more like ranking a oneshot. Same problem as With Hands, since I wrote it during the same time span, but baby Rory immediately makes me get much more attached to any fic and have more fun writing it.

4. Grafted — Agh, I love this one. It hasn't gotten very far into the story yet, and I needed to pause a little bit to work out a little bit more of my plotting, but I'm so looking forward to getting back to it. I'm especially looking forward to introducing Ed and Al to the Elrics, plus also getting more into Tree and her love of tattooing.

3. And Yet a Trace of the True Self Exists in the False Self — This was one of those fics that just sort of hits you all at once from nowhere, and then you look back and wonder how that even happened. Well, no, I know how it happened, I had an autistic meltdown day and coped with it by putting the experience into words. But sometimes I still just like going back and rereading this one to remind myself that it's okay to have days like that. And pretty much every comment I've gotten on this has ended up making me get choked up, because everyone is saying that they relate, that they needed to see characters going through experiences like this as a kid... This one has a special place in my heart.

2. The Lost Years — This one. I love every time I work on writing this one. There's just something so delightful about Ed's reactions to the modern world and getting a chance to work in some of my own city into a story for once. I've also been struggling a little with writing this one for now just because... Well, showing even Edward Elric getting smacked down into the mud from late-stage capitalism kinda suck and hurts like hell. This one just hits differently than my other fics, and I love it for it, even if it's painful.

1. The Other Side — Of course, this one is the winner. We're getting into the end of this one now, and it's always awesome to start tying together all these threads that you've been hanging for so long and watch the story start finalizing and becoming a complete picture. I was really hoping to get it done before the end of the year so it wouldn't be on next year's stats too (guilt about keeping it going so long, much?), but that's just the way it goes, I guess. I'm hoping to finish this one really soon, and I'm having a hard time not dancing in my seat until then!

Overall... I think that while I didn't publish as many things in terms of quantity and fic count, I still had a really productive year, especially considering how hectic it was. I was working a lot more on my long-form writing this year, and a lot of the work I did is like an iceberg and can't be seen on the surface. (Like how I wrote over 400k, but published less than 90k.) This year was really about putting the work in to deepen my work and become a better writer in the long run, and I'm proud of that.

See my rankings from last year! My 2022 AO3 Wrapped

[idledreams4]

im just gonna answer all the questions from that otherkin ask game cause nobody sent asks lol. (The kintype in question is a fallen angel for the record)

What is your favorite aspect of your kintype(s)?

My wings, hands down. I love my wings and I miss them so much.

What is a fun fact about your kintype(s)?

Hmm.... well, not all angels fall because they stand against God, or make some other grand gesture like that. Heaven's pretty up-tight, and it's wayyyyyy easier to get thrown out of there than one might think. Only reason I was around for so long was thanks to Jophiel fighting for me.

Have you ever had a previous kintype(s)? As in you thought were something but later realized you weren't?

Oh yeah. There were a good few years when I genuinely believed I was a werewolf people made fun of me, told me there was no way, but I didn't care. I was a werewolf to me and that was all that mattered.

What's a food that reminds you of your kintype(s)?

Tbh, angels don't eat so this one doesn't really apply

Do you have anything that almost always triggers memories of your past life/lives?

apparently being abandoned by the people I love...

Is there a song or movie that reminds you of your kintype(s)?

Poor Man's Poison has a few songs that give me fallen angel vibes. Providence and Hell's Coming With Me are the big two.

Is there a song or movie that reminds you of your past life/lives?

Hmmm... I haven't watched any movies lately that have particularly reminded me of my past life. This is a little bit dramatic but I guess The Hunger Games in a way. Any generic Y/A dystopian film where the protagonist tries to dismantle an oppressive regime can work.

What unusual emoji reminds you of your kintype(s)?

None that I can think of

Is your kintype(s) more predatory or prey-like?

predatory. 100%.

If you could be one of your kintype(s) for a day, what would you do?

See if I can't make good on the promise I made to Michael. (I'm not elaborating)

Would becoming one of your kintype(s) fix you?

absolutely not. I think it would cause more problems actually.

If you have shifts, what do you do when that happens?

i don't get shifts, but I do feel phantom wings, and then I start moving really awkwardly because I don't want to hit anyone/knock anything over with them by accident

What helps you connect to your kintype(s)?

I probably feel most connected to my kintype when I'm being protective over people. I was a guardian angel before I fell, and it DEFINITELY translates into this life.

Does your past life/lives affect you today?

I think so. As I said in the last one, it's pretty clear I was a guardian angel. I am the mom friend even when I'm not trying to be. I'm always the one looking out for everyone else, trying to keep them out of harm's way. Even when I don't particularly like the person, I try to keep them safe because it's in my nature. The fact I fell has also had a hand in the experiences I've had with religion. My parents didn't want to raise my brother and I to be religious (probably because their families are of two different faiths) but I've always had exposure to various Abrahamic religions through both my family and friends. Something always resonated with me, but I never felt that I had a connection with God. I didn't feel like there was someone listening to me, or watching over me. The first time I felt like there was something watching out for me was when I started noticing shadowy figures observing me. Their presence didn't frighten me as it would most people. Somewhere along the way I figured out there were demons around, which did worry me, but as long as they kept their hands off me I wasn't too bothered. That's when I figured out there was someone listening and watching out for me, Lucifer.

Sorry that that one got so long, but it needed the explanation and I don't usually talk about the experiences I've had with God and religion in this life.

[king-narcissus]

Do you remember

Eating lunch together? That first time I ever laid eyes on you, you and Sam sat together during lunch most days. I tried not to notice you, and when I did, I tried not to make it obvious.

Then we started walking the halls together before school started. You didn't talk much, but I would play with your hair in a way that would annoy you. One time you asked me why, and I said so you would miss me when I'm not around.

I remember the first time I said I love you. It was a text, and I wanted to say it in person but I couldn't hold it in. I needed to tell you. You absolutely had to know. You said it back and I was on cloud nine for weeks.

Shortly after, I graduated, and so did you, the next year. We went to our first concert together. Though, I think we only ever went to two or three. It was warped tour, and we were both annoyed with how much glitter there was. It polluted every inch of the amphitheater. We were both high, on weed but also life.

Have I ever told you how mean you can be when you're high? I never took offense to it, but that day at warped tour, you were tearing into the girls wearing glitter and making fun of the vegans trying to spread their cause. I was right there with you, playing along and feeding into it, because that's kinda what we did together. All the while, the entire time, there were vegans trying to indoctrinate a young girl wearing body glitter, both of which could clearly hear us talking mad shit right next to them. You didn't notice until after the fact, when I told you.

I remember sneaking into your room, through your window. Remember when the neighbor thought I was breaking in and called the cops on me? I was terrified, not only of getting in trouble, but of your dad finding out. Or maybe the time he came home while I was in your room, and I hid under your bed for hours, making myself late for work.

I remember when you said you wanted to go with me to Oklahoma. I felt like this was the next chapter to the rest of our lives. Of course, it wouldn't be entirely in Oklahoma, but I felt like that's where I had to be. Let me tell you, oklahoma became a million times more lonely without you there.

Everywhere did.

Do you remember us going to the lake? One time we brought Darren and he wouldn't even go further than ankle deep in the water. Or when we found that kitten, Abyss. Constantly humping everything. Raven hated him. She was so happy when we finally let him go out, and I think he was happy to roam the wild again.

I remember, getting drunk and emotional. Crying to you. I said things to you that I didn't even say to myself. The thoughts I have... what I really feel. You held onto me. You told me it was going to be okay. And you stayed close to me. Later on, I would try go through with the plan i told you that night. Now I just tell people it was a drug fuelled accident, but that's not really the truth. I was hopeless, and lost. Everything finally got to me, and I didn't want to keep going. So, as I was driving around the backroads, I pulled the steering wheel hard. A little too hard, I missed the telephone pole, over corrected and landed in the ditch. When I woke up, I couldn't remember. I was severely concussed. And my only thought was you. That becomes a recurring thing in my life.

I find a good show, and I'm excited to watch it with you. I find a funny joke and I can't wait to hear you laugh. I see a good concert line up and I can't wait to take you. And then, after that split second, I remember. We're strangers now. And it all comes flooding back.

I tell myself that I'm better now, but that's only because you're not around. (Those are my words, no one else's and if they did say it it's cause they stole it from me) but the truth is, you were always the love of my life. You are the girl that I've always wanted to marry.

Is it too late? Only if you say it is. But I've learned it's never too late for almost anything. And you know what? So what if we are strangers now?? That just means we can fall in love all over again. I'm going to show you, I'm going to show you that I'm the one who is going to take care of you when you need it, who will hold your hand and help you when you're struggling. I'm not the same idiot I was before, we've both grown.

You might be thinking that I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I don't know. But I do know that I am crazy for you. I always have been. And deep down, I believe you're just as crazy for me. I feel that connection, I swear I can feel it when ever you think of me.

Maybe I'm wrong, and you don't miss me. And if you tell me you don't want me back, I will walk away and never look back. But I have the gut feeling that sometimes you look around and think to yourself, what if. And I'm telling you, you don't have to wonder what if. We can live it. There is nothing stopping us from living those dreams we once shared.

Remember when I would sing to you? Whether in your aunts apartment or at the lowbar in waffle house, or on our long road trips. Flowers, the whole shebang. When you really believe something, and you really really want it.... well, you don't get it by sitting around and praying for it.

God fucking dammit, I never thought I'd say this, but ima do a fucking sweet home Alabama.

Not fuck my cousin or anything, it's like a romantic movie

Actually I'm not even sure if that's the movie I'm thinking of but whatever you know what I'm saying. That was one of my favorite things about you, no matter what I was saying, you almost always understood what I meant.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #122

How many friends do you have on Facebook? I just checked, 112.

What was on the last sandwich you ate? I actually had one yesterday, it was black pepper turkey with American cheese and mustard.

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? Yes; Girt and I dated for like... four months in '17, but I decided to break up because I just didn't like him in the romantic way that I couldn't for the life of me decide if I did. Turns out getting back together a few years later was a fanfuckingtastic decision and proved to me that feelings can change and develop.

What is your favourite Thai dish? I'm quite sure I've never had Thai food before.

How many contacts do you have in your phone? Just counted, there's 16. Most I basically never text or call, though.

When was the last time you made out with somebody? I swear I'm like no older than 12, these questions still make me uncomfortable lmfao yesterday

What month of the year was your mother born? August.

Do you have any friends that seem to know all the hot gossip? lol my friends are adults

What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? Girt and I are almost done with the first season of Dark, which I am HOOKED on, like I want answers and to watch the next episode and the next episode more than I have for ANY show in a very, very, very long time. We stayed up late one night because *I* didn't want to stop watching, and I could not even guess the last show I was like that with. It's also natively a German show so I've had fun reading text that shows up and have even learned grammar stuff I never knew.

How many apps do you have on your phone? Excluding those that I can't remove from my phone/come with it, I have 14. My phone has *INSANELY* low memory, like only one of these apps is even remotely big, and I have to go through hell to keep almost anything updated because there's just not enough space on it. I fucking loathe my phone and desperately want a new one.

What pet names do you use with your significant other? Kinda like, all the basic ones. I know I use "hunny" the most, probably followed by "sweetie."

Do you have to wear a name badge where you work? Still don't have a job... but still looking every single day.

What brand is your toaster, if you have one? We have a toaster oven, but idk what the brand is. I basically never use it.

Can you hear anything right now? Yeah, I'm watching an episode of John Wolfe's Resident Evil 4 Remake LP. I hate that I can't play it myself right now, but at least it's something and is also a game that isn't like, a 100% new experience.

Is there anybody else in the room you’re currently in? No.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Walmart. It's the cheapest and also not even two minutes from our house.

Does your house have a porch/balcony? We have an extremely small covered area that I guess does qualify as a "porch" out front, but we have a bigger/more proper one out back. It's actually a meshed-in area that's perfect to just sit and chill at... even though we never do. I've always wanted to sit out there one night with loved ones and like, roast marshmallows or something. I'd also love to hold Venus out there on a nice day, again if I had someone to sit and chat with. That's as close to outside as I'm willing to go with Venus because I have an insanely massive fear of a bird of prey just scooping her up, which CAN happen, but it's so super unlikely around here, but I don't care, I still freak out over the idea.

What’s your favourite type of bread? Pumpernickel.

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes, with Nicole.

Have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area? Yeah; funnily enough there was actually an active brushfire yesterday by the beach, something that isn't very uncommon in the hotter months 'round here. On multiple occasions we've even gotten the smoke from distant fires cake the air all the way over here, but I don't think that's happened in many years.

Have you ever taken a ride in an ambulance? No.

When was the last time you took a nap during the day? Well, I guess today, although I hadn't been awake long at all. I'd ended up on the bathroom floor by the toilet putting my entire fucking soul into NOT puking for a while, and we had to cancel my PT and psychiatrist appointments because of how sick I felt. I ended up going back to sleep and apparently sleeping like a boulder because Mom said I was snoring. I don't totally know what was wrong, but I'm blaming my period just being wack as fuck because this has been THE most symptomatic I have EVER been during a period, I think, which kinda scares me because nothing in my life has changed, so this period has just been very, very randomly intense.

What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Bless Girt's heart, he got me Subway bc he overheard Mom say she couldn't do it herself lol. He was a total supportive champ while he was here yesterday and the night before, he knew I was on my period and that this month's was just being fucking VICIOUS and was just being super helpful about it.

What was the last thing you had to drink? I have my flavored carbonated water right now.

Who was the last message you received from and what did they say? Girt tried sending me a picture of Charlie (his dog) being cute and Discord was being reluctant to send it for some reason so he had to complain about it lol

What’s your favourite kind of accent? British.

Have you ever missed a flight? Yes, actually. It was the day I was secretly flying to Illinois to surprise Sara on her birthday, and I was DEVASTATED because I thought the plan was ruined by me missing it, but with her parents' help it worked out and she had zero idea it was happening, even though I obviously got there later than we'd originally planned.

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Yes, a few times.

Do you know your significant other’s passwords? No, I don't feel the need to know that... and there IS no need for me to know any of his passwords as a dating couple that doesn't like, have accounts where we share finances or anything.

What’s your favourite type of salad? Just regular green lettuce with Olive Garden dressing or ranch. Cucumbers are fine, too. And bacon bits if we're using ranch.

Is your house usually too warm or too cold in the winter? Too cold. Mom really hates turning on the heat because of money.

Have you ever been in love with someone much older or younger than you? No.

Would you rather have someone ask to kiss you, or just kiss you? This depends. With my partner now, it'd be extremely weird for him to ask to kiss me, and it would be with any stable romantic partner imo. When Girt and I first dated, he did ask first before he kissed me the first time, which is exactly what I wanted just because of my relationship trauma; I wanted to know it was coming and was okay with it happening. If, god forbid, Girt and I don't last and I end up in a different relationship in the future, I honestly don't know if I'd prefer to be asked or just kissed the first time.

What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? lol if fries are an option, I can basically oath to you that I'm getting fries, haha.

Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? Hell no.

Would you change your partner’s hair color if you could? I know he doesn't like the fact that he's graying early, so I'd fix that for him if I could just snap my fingers and have that happen, but I would never want to pick what he does with HIS hair, so to answer the basic question, no.

Have you ever written a poem for someone? More than once.

Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yup, a best friend from my childhood, Quiata, is African American. He wasn't what I'd call a BEST friend, but I was also very close with my childhood neighbor D'Andre, also African American. We hung out and played a whole lot. Oh yeah, and then there was Hannia in high school, but tbh I'm not entirely sure what her exact race was. I feel like the I believe one time I saw her dad, he looked Hispanic, and I know her mother was Asian of some sort.

Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? Idk. Maybe Sara, I try to not remember the details of that message.

Have you friended your parents on FB? My mom, yeah. Dad doesn't have one. I also have my stepmother on there, but solely to prevent drama because she posts THE dumbest, most fucking bigoted shit imaginable, like I literally don't even see her posts anymore because I turned that shit off.

What’s the last tourist area you visited? Chicago, I think.

Have you ever been in a submarine? No.

Is there anyone whose grave you visit? No. There are times where I'd like to visit Jason's mom's, just once, but I don't think it would be good for me, and I also have this fear that I'd by some insanely poor odds run into Jason there. I also don't know WHERE she's buried.

Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got married? Yes, pretty sure both times she got married.

Do you use TikTok? No.

What decorations do you have in your bathroom? In the hall bathroom, there's three little fake plants on the sink.

Do you like Seinfeld? I don't think I have much of an opinion. Funnily enough though Mom had it on the other day, and some scene made me laugh.

What year was your favourite band formed? Ozzy went solo in 1980. Rammstein formed in 1994.

What’s your least favourite pizza topping? Probably mushrooms. I straight-up will not eat it.

What percentage battery is your phone on right now? 82.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Did you like it? No, and I absolutely never plan to, I just do not see the appeal. Definitely not worth cancer, either.

Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom.

Have you ever sent a postcard? Where from? No.

Do you know anyone who speaks Spanish as a first language? I don't think I know anyone anymore, but maybe.

Who was the last person you kissed? Girt.

Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? No.

Do loud noises bother you? Yes.

Do you rent or own the place you live? Rent. And our landlord/family "friend" will never, ever let us forget her great kindness.

Have you ever made yourself as a Sim? No, I've actually never played the Sims, save for the animal ones. It's not the kind of game that I'd have fun with.

What brand is your phone? It's literally a Tracphone.

Have you ever had a friend named Mary? No.

What does the name “Ada” make you think of? Haha actually the Resident Evil franchise character, funny time to mention the name.

Have you ever ridden in a horse-drawn carriage? No.

Did you ever sneak out of your house when you were younger? No.

What is your best friend’s name? Donald Jr., but I've always known him as Girt.

Is anyone in your family an author or poet? My like, 4th or 5th cousin wrote Not Without My Daughter. No one in my very close family, though.

Have you ever dated a guy with a girl’s name? No, but I'm not against it. I don't believe in gendering names, anyway, honestly.

Would you rather be named Fanny or Faye? Faye, by an insane longshot. I love the name Faye, meanwhile Fanny sounds awful to me.

Do you have a godmother? I don't believe so.

Are you someone’s godmother? No.

When was the last time you wrote a poem? Last time I was in the hospital. ... I think? I don't believe I've written something since then.

Do you believe that it’s possible for someone to be resurrected from the dead? Save for experiences where the heart has been inactive for only a short period of time and it was able to be jolted back into activity, no.

What color hair does your current crush (or boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, whatever) have? Black, but as I mentioned earlier it also has gray in it.

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you in a theater? [TW: PARENTAL ABUSE] Be triggered by a sudden scene of a father beating his daughter with a belt and having a complete and total, very obvious panic attack that ultimately led to me having to leave the theater.

Have you ever had someone copy you or steal your ideas for something? Yup. Sara used to literally trace my art and I've caught her red-handed stealing both characters and completely original locations from me. Worth mentioning she did this kind of stuff to others, too, all the while having insane paranoia that people have and would steal from her <3333 man was she fun.

Have you ever dated someone behind your parents’ back? Nope.

[s-brant]

The Endless Summer (2/?)

(gif: @beccs) (PART ONE) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: A day out on the water goes awry and puts JJ, John B, and Y/N in danger. With tensions rising and the stakes higher than ever, JJ finds it difficult to control his feelings.

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: Angst, implied sexual content, strong language, graphic violence, and JJ being an emotionally confused asshat.

A/N: Welcome back! Thanks for the love on this series, I’m so glad you guys like it and I hope this part is just as good. Things get a little heated in this chapter, so buckle up. Let me know if you enjoyed this. Have fun!

JJ isn't sure why she did it.

He wasn't sure then and he isn't sure now, but he knows one thing for certain: there isn't any going back to how things once were now that the barrier between them came crashing down.

Sweat drips off of his skin from the relentless heat of the Caribbean that has made their recent lives hell with the painful tinge of sunburn atop their tans and heat exhaustion they must be careful to avoid at all costs. They were educated on both topics by Pope, their godsend of a survival encyclopedia in human form, who advised them to spend most of their day outside of necessary tasks like fishing and constructing stable shelter under the shady cover of the treetops.

The sole reason he and John B aren't hiding in the safety of the shade is that it's their day to fish, but he's not thinking about the sun. In fact, neither of them is. They're both wondering where their third fishing buddy is.

It took roughly ten minutes of spearfishing with him in comfortable silence for JJ to finally break and spill his guts about what happened last night. Though there was an unspoken agreement to never tell anyone that their hatred has turned into desire, he couldn't help it. He was going mad trying to unravel it in his head.

After all, he already had a conversation with JB about the recent shift in their behavior with each other by the ocean last night, so it seems fitting to pick up where they left off with the calm and clear blue water in front of them again.

He walks on the jagged outcropping of rock that serves as their perch to observe the fish without disturbing the pattern of the current they swim through with John B closely behind.

"One second she's pissed at me, the next she's all over me. It makes no sense. Then, she didn’t say anything to me after it happened," JJ says with his face hardened into a look of concentration at the fish he squints against the sun to aim at, "Not even "Fuck you, Maybank" or one of her weirdly creative threats. She just sat there all night and talked to everyone but me."

His gaze slips away from the water as his chosen fish disappears from sight before he can bother to throw the spear, eyeing up his friend's reaction to the news.

John B doesn't seem that surprised by it, because who else, aside from everyone else in Kildare who knows of their "hatred" for one another, could've seen it coming as much as he did? He considers it for a second, then props his arm up on the handle side of the spear he digs into the rock to lean against.

"I'm pretty sure that means she likes you."

JJ retorts, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

Why would anyone ignore a person they like? It makes no sense to him. Every time he wanted a person, he'd simply walk over and make it happen. It's never been difficult for him to pursue the people he finds himself attracted to...Well, except for her. For a guy that also ignored her for the rest of the night and pretended their moment in the woods didn't happen, he has some balls of steel to be chastising her for the same things he did.

John B shrugs and says, "I'm being serious, dude. Sarah wouldn't even acknowledge my existence when I worked on the Druthers, and I thought it was some stuck-up rich person thing but it wasn't."

They shouldn't be talking at all right now as to not scare away the fish, but they do it anyway. They both know he won't let it go until it's out of his system for good. He wouldn't allow himself to forget it if he wanted to, so its better to talk it out than turn stir crazy from ruminating over it 24/7.

Though it's, as he worded it yesterday, hot as balls out, being by the sea lessens the feeling of it by a landslide.

The breeze they crave whenever they work on their huts or forage through the forest for wild berries, coconuts, or potential building supplies blows on them without pause for the time they spend here, which almost makes it more dangerous. They stand under the direct harm of the UV rays frying them without truly feeling it burn yet, and he dreads the next few days in anticipation of the returning sunburn he just peeled off of his shoulders the other day.

JJ walks down the side to get a better view of the water, balancing precariously on the sharpened edge with the spear clenched tightly in one hand. The breeze is strong enough to threaten his balance, but he holds firm and digs his toes into the sedimentary rock for traction. His body sways in the midday sun with the struggle for stability, or, at least he suspects its midday.

Since being stranded here, time is a foreign concept to them. With no phones, clocks, or any guide to go off of other that the position of the sun above to display the hours that pass, they've lost complete track of what day it is, let alone how long minutes or hours truly are in comparison to the endless summer they live within. They suspect it's been a month since they were left here, but, in all honesty, it could be two. None of them had the sense to mark the days in a tally until it was too late.

He says, lifting his arm to throw the spear, "Well, she is a stuck up rich person, so maybe it's just—"

"You know I'm right here, don't you?"

The sound of her voice from a few feet behind them startles JJ into turning around to look at her right when he lets go of the spear.

Unfortunately for him, the jerking movement throws off his carefully distributed weight and skews his balance, making the feet placed on the edge slip from underneath him and send him slipping down into the water. His calf is the first body part to hit the rocks, and the groan of pain he lets out at the feeling of the jagged rock slicing through his skin could make her heart stop mid-beat. But what truly scares her is seeing the back of his head hit the ground too.

Before he can slide the rest of the way into the water, two pairs of hands are grabbing onto his arms and heaving him up with all of their strength. She and John B grit their teeth with the effort it takes to pull him back up, their muscles burning from the strain, and once his feet are over the ledge, he pushes off the rock to help them the rest of the way. Drops of his blood disperse into the water off the edge from where he cut himself, dripping until there's hardly any left.

Once he's safely laid back down a few feet from where he slipped, Y/N is kneeling in front of him in a matter of seconds. The rock beneath her knees opens small cuts into her skin, but she doesn't pay it any heed. She sits on her heels to lessen the minor pain and lean forward to inspect the damage he took with nothing on her mind other than worry.

Soon enough, John B joins her to kneel at his feet as he sits up and watches them eye up his injury as though it’s some sort of ghastly, life threatening thing instead of a gash that won't need stitches. He watches them against the glittering ocean, waves washing up on the rocks around them to sting his wound with saltwater.

"It's a scratch, not an amputation," JJ says.

She ignores him with a frown lining her pretty features and twists his leg by the ankle to get a better view of the wound in the sunlight. It extends up the entire length of his calf, almost from ankle to knee, and dribbles fresh blood onto her hands as well as the ground beneath them. From what he can tell, it doesn't look all too severe. No muscle or bone can be seen, so it's a simple, superficial scratch.

When he doesn't get a response from either her or John B while they're too busy checking out his leg, he says again, "Guys, I'm serious, it's fine."

This time, she doesn't hesitate to answer.

"Yeah, well you may not need stitches but you still have infection to worry about. This wilderness isn't exactly the cleanliest place," she says retorts with as much snark as usual, and he quietly rejoices in the fact that she's finally acting normal after what happened last night, "Not to mention, you hit your head pretty hard. There's no need to act all tough."

He shrugs.

"It's not an act, it really doesn't hurt that bad."

John B stands and smears the blood on his hands off on the front of his shorts.

"I'll be right back, guys, I'm gonna go get stuff to patch him up."

Just like that, they are left plunging into silence as he is running away down the peninsula back to the beach they've claimed as their own.

Silence has always been her least favorite thing to share with JJ. She'd rather anything over it—screaming, fighting, joking, friendly conversation, or even what they did together yesterday night. Anything is preferable over the tense and insufferable feeling of silence when they're alone together with none of their friends, or their playful hatred, between them as a barrier between them.

Instead of seeing the same pestering jerk she always used to when she looks at him, she sees the memory of how he looked at her in the woods. He didn't look at her like she was the worst person to ever walk the planet, or like she was his least favorite Kook "Princess", he looked at her like she meant something to him.

They sit together in uncomfortable silence in the time it takes John B to rush to the beach and back, careful not to slip on the rocks the way JJ did, with the supplies from the dinghy in his arms. It isn't much to work with, but at least it's something to keep the nasty wound on his leg protected from dirt and germs. She's sure he'd leave it uncovered and up to fate if he had it his way.

Before he can set them down on the wet rocks, thus ruining the gauze and bandages in craters filled with ocean water, she gestures at JJ with a stern command, "Take off your shirt."

His brows raise.

"Shit, Princess, take me out to dinner first."

She groans in frustration, "Can you be quiet for a second and actually listen to me for once?"

He catches John B's gaze with wide eyes, but complies nonetheless, reaching down to tug the tank off of his torso by the frayed hem until it's balled up in his closed fist to hand off to her. Her eyes only linger on his body for a quick second on accident before snatching it from him.

Her bloodstained palms lay the shirt out on the flattest stretch of rock she can find to act as a barrier from the small puddles of water to protect the supplies. One nod at John B has him setting them down atop the navy fabric as she glances up at JJ with a smug smile.

"Believe it or not," she taunts, unscrewing the cap to the disinfectant, "I didn't ask for it so you could sit there and look pretty."

The words throw him back in time to their conversation on the beach while they thatched the roof to their hut, and he wonders how long she's been waiting to throw that back in his face since he first said it.

He grins at her as he asks, "You think I'm pretty?" but before he can say more, she's pouring a generous amount of the hydrogen peroxide along the length of his cut without a warning for him to prepare himself. His leg jerks away on instinct to save himself from the burning sensation, but she grips his ankle tightly enough to force him to stay still.

His nose scrunches up with the urge to groan in pain, and he does a little. Through grinding teeth, he winces in response to the peroxide slipping into every cell of open skin and bubbling up like the white water of the waves as it kills the bacteria lingering in the gash.

"Does it hurt now?" Y/N asks.

She's looking up at him through her lashes with her lips curled into a smirk as she packs gauze onto the wound until it's covered to her satisfaction. And it should be the last thing he's thinking about right now after cutting up his leg and hitting his head hard enough to worry her about concussions, but he can't help it. Looking down at her like this, it's impossible for him to not think about the unfinished business they have.

Everything is the same as it was yesterday—the tattered white top, the red panties in place of a bikini, sunburnt cheeks, and a taunting look that he'll never get tired of seeing. But that's precisely why he's reminded of it. She's wearing the same clothes and looking at him the way she did on the beach before any of last night's antics occurred, and he can't keep himself from wondering if it'll happen again.

"Yeah," he finally responds.

Her smirk grows for a second before she gets back to work.

"Good."

JJ subtly eyes her up from where she shifts on her knees to set the open gauze wrappers under the peroxide bottle in exchange for the bandage wrap, but he isn't as subtle as he thinks. She can feel his stare no matter how sneaky he attempts to be. He may be able to evade John B's attention, since he dove into the ocean to retrieve the wooden spear that began to float out in the tide, but she never misses a thing. Not when it comes to him.

When he looks at her, he finds memories.

Her legs folded up beneath her bring him back to how smooth they felt on his palms when he lifted them up around his hips. Her rosy lips pressing into a line in concentration bring him back to the coconut flavor he tasted on them. Her nipples poking against the fabric of her shirt bring him back to when he lifted it up over her breasts to suck at the sensitive skin until he got a moan from her—There isn't a place he can stare without going back to last night.

Part of him hates that.

He can't stand that a girl who he spent the last five years hating has found a way into his daydreams. Why couldn't it have been anyone else? Why did she have to lure him into her trap? He supposes there's nothing he can do about it now, though. After hours of stewing over it, he's reached the conclusion that it was likely a one-time thing, a mistake made in the heat of the moment that she won't make again, and he should get the idea of it out of his head.

When she has to adjust her grip to hold the gauze in place while she wraps the bandage around his leg, he sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and jerks away again. She glances up at him with her best, "Are you kidding me?" face. Didn't he say he was tough?

"I'm starting to think you're a sadist, 'cause it's like you're trying to make it hurt," he says.

She gasps, feigning offense.

"Me? Enjoying this? It's not like we've hated each other for years or anything."

And though he may not realize it, this is her way of distracting him from the pain of having her apply added pressure to his cut while she wraps the bandage into place. It has to be tight enough to keep water and sand out, but not so tight that it cuts off circulation, and while it may have been tolerable without her touching it, the contact is enough to make it worse for him.

He asks, "Uh, speaking of, why are you the one doing this? Isn't it some kind of HIPAA thing to treat patients you've threatened to violate with tree branches before?"

The sound of her laughter makes his stomach flutter with butterflies, and he wonders what the hell is wrong with him.

"That's not what HIPAA is, genius"—her eyes crinkle at the sides with her wide smile while she wraps his leg—"and I'm the one doing this because I know way more medical shit than the rest of you."

Even Pope.

"Ohhh right, I forgot. Your dad is this hotshot surgeon and that makes you think you know everything," he taunts.

The casual mention of her father makes her chest ache with something not many of the Pogues, excluding Pope, have felt since being stranded on this island. With their parents either disowning them, absent, abusive, or dead, they have no reason to resist the allure of living here for the months or years it may take to be rescued, but she does.

She misses him.

For the longest time since her mom died, it was her and her dad versus the world. In everything they did, they did it together, and before she met Sarah, he was the closest she had to a best friend. Since they had no other family to help watch her as a child, she grew up in the hospital with him, drawing with crayons on his office’s printer paper with her babysitter and picking up small things along the way from watching him for so long.

He could've chosen to leave her at home, sure, but he didn't want to miss out on seeing her more than he already did, so she spent the majority of her childhood in offices, waiting rooms, and the indoor playground of the PEDs wing.

She takes a deep breath to steady herself after the sucker punch of being reminded of her dad and says, "Well, I know enough and, thankfully for you, I'm the one doing this instead of John B."

From far away, twenty or so feet offshore where their friend is paddling through the water with the lost spear held in one hand, they hear John B shouting an offended, "I heard that!" back at her. It draws a soft chuckle from them both, and she silently thanks him for distracting JJ one last time as she finishes and secures the bandage so it won't unravel.

She wipes her hands off on her water-soaked thighs one more time to get as much of his blood off of her fingers as possible before she reaches out with both arms extended to offer him help to stand. He takes them with a murmured, "Thanks," as they both try not to show how affected they are by the casual touch.

It makes them feel pathetic that something as small as holding each other's hands makes them remember what they did and desperately wish to continue it. Her throat bobs with how she must swallow the lump in her throat at their close proximity, barely breathing now that he's standing close to her with less than a few inches between them.

For a second, they don't move away. They stay face to face, and all she can think of is how badly she wants to kiss him again. But she can't do anything yet, not when she hears someone screaming from the water.

"There's a shark!" John B screams as he paddles back faster than he's ever swam in his life, already close enough to the peninsula that they can see the terror in his eyes when they turn to look.

Surely enough, there a tip of a fin too pointed to pass off as a dolphin cutting through the surface of the water to alert them of the fish's presence, but if that weren't enough, the water is clear enough for them to see its outline.

Thankfully for him, it isn't huge. It looks about as long as he is tall, but that doesn't change the degree of danger. Just because it isn't as big as other sharks doesn't make a bite any less lethal, especially when their only form of medical attention rests on her knowledgeable yet inexperienced shoulders.

For once in his life, JJ is frozen with no clue of what to do.

He's always the man with the plan, the one who jumps into action when others choke up and sit on the sidelines, but this makes him falter. What can he do to help other than stand here and pray John B can out-swim a shark? He's helpless, and now that he's faced with the prospect of losing his best friend for a second time, he doesn't know what to do.

It was his blood in the water that must have attracted the shark, and he was so caught up in his own drama with her and the pain of his cut that he didn't consider the danger of John B jumping in to retrieve the spear he dropped. It's his fault. His best friend is about to be eaten by a shark and it's his fault—

The blurred image of her rushing past in his peripheral vision rips him from his stormy thoughts, and right when he thought it couldn't get worse, it does. Water splashes up around her body and swallows her under the surface after she leaps off the edge of the rock with the aluminum spear from the dinghy raised in her dominant arm.

"Y/N!"

Before he even realizes what he's doing, JJ is screaming out her name, screaming it like he cares, and damns the consequences to dive in after her.

While he was frozen, she sprung into action without thinking of her own life first. She knew he was close to the rock, but not close enough to swim faster than a predator designed for the conditions of the ocean. It took one glance at the spear resting to the side for her to lean down, scoop it up, and get a running start to jump out as far as humanly possible. Various joints and muscles ached from how she strained to push herself far off the rock, taking flight with nothing but their survival in mind.

She sucks in a heaving breath upon breaking the surface, but she doesn't take a second to pause with John B paddling up to her so soon.

"Go back!"

The only answer she gives him is, "Use your spear!" before she brings hers out of the water in anticipation of the grey figure bolting straight for them.

It's a stupid plan, but it's the only one she has, and if one of them is in danger, they'd all risk everything they have to protect them. After all, they're already trapped here with the threat of death every day. Is there anything more worthy of dying for than your friends?

Neither of them is necessarily trying to kill it yet either, they're trying to keep it at a safe distance or hurt it enough so it swims away from them, but she puts all of her strength into spearing the fish between the eyes anyway. Her legs kick tirelessly to keep her afloat while she and John B stab as accurately as they can, choking down a mouthful of salty ocean water from how her head sinks at the surface without the help of her arms to keep her up.

Blood stains the water with a crimson hue spreading out around their bodies—whether it's theirs or the shark's, she doesn't know—and she must keep her lips clamped shut to prevent it from spilling into her mouth, breathing solely through her nose. She can tell her legs are soon to give out on her, but then a pair of hands latch onto her body. Call her irrational or stupid, but even with the clear distinction of human hands on her waist, her mind reacts in instinctual fear.

The touch makes her jolt mid-stab and sobers her feral mind back to reality for a moment until she realizes it's a human touching her, not the shark.

It's JJ.

His arms wrap around her thighs and hoist her up out of the water as much as he can while still swimming, effectively pushing himself underwater with one last gasp for air.

The sudden shift in view has her gaze shifting around to take in the new sights with a gush of red water rushing off of her onto the splashing surface: a light grey tail whips around in the chaos, the shark's head oozes blood from the multiple puncture wounds that didn't push quite deep enough, and its jaws snap right where John B's arm is before he yanks it back.

After a fraction of a second, it clicks with her that there's no time to waste watching her friend almost get his arm chomped off while she takes in the unbelievable sight. Her slippery grip on the handle remains as firm as possible, and she raises the spear over her head with an improved accuracy she never could've had from where she previously aimed it before. All of their shots landed well enough, but with the height advantage, she won't allow herself to fuck it up this time with her friend's life hanging in the balance.

She hardly recognizes her own frantic voice shouting at him, "Spear it in the gills!"

Her hands bring the razor-sharp tip of the spear down into its head repeatedly, and she isn't sure whether it's the splashing water or tears wetting her face when she buries the weapon down into it for a final time right when John B lodges his wooden spear in its gills.

Whatever she did, it must've hit its brain, because the animal halts its thrashing. Its teeth no longer snap at her friend, nor does its tail whip around in the water as violently as it did a moment ago.

As quickly as it started, it drops off into a sickening calm that leaves the white bubbles dissolving into a puddle of bloody water surrounding the trio and the fish that dies with no small amount of guilt on her part. There was no choice but to kill it. It makes her ache on the inside, but how could she regret it if she knows it saved them? The guilt might ravage her for the upcoming days, but she can't bring herself to regret jumping in after him.

She hardly has the chance to process it before she's being pulled away by both of the boys, her view of the scene shifting drastically once more with the abrupt drop of JJ letting her down in favor of guiding her through the gentle waves. His calloused hand squeezes her arm enough to cut circulation off on their journey back.

Time rushes past her in the next thirty seconds or so it takes them to reach the peninsula again in a paranoid sprint away from where the dead fish floats. One of them, John B she thinks, tosses the aluminum spear he dislodged from the shark's head up onto the rocks and clambers his way back up on his own. The waves closer to land grow rougher than the tender current out where they killed the shark, and she grunts in pain as one sends her and JJ straight into the rocks. His body hits her back with a solid ‘thump’ and forces her to wheeze with the wind getting knocked from her lungs upon impact, nails cracking on the black rock from the desperate grip she uses in an attempt to lift herself.

Meanwhile, JJ can't seem to catch his breath either, nor can he think of anything other than her once he sees that John B isn’t injured.

As soon as he sees his friend is unmarked from the teeth of the shark after he's out of the water, he positions himself behind Y/N to help her out first. He places his hands on her backside to push her up as quickly as he can. Knowing that the carcass in the water will soon attract more sharks in the surrounding area into a feeding frenzy, he'd rather it be him than her. It's a thought that shoots by too fast for him to fully acknowledge the meaning or weight of it at a time like this.

Somehow within his adrenaline-crazed mind, he is careful not to push her onto the jagged edge that sliced his leg open earlier, then climbs after her with little space left between them.

She's coughing up saltwater onto the rocks as he scrambles over to her, eyes wild with the petrifying worry of anything bad happening to her. They scan over her arms, legs, stomach, and back, and he doesn't even realize his hands are reaching out to inspect her as frantically as she had with him when he got hurt.

His hands cup her face, petting over her dripping hair and forcing her to look up so he can see if she somehow got hit in the face. Never has his mind been so void of rational thought, and, knowing him and his impulsive tendencies, that's saying a lot. The confusion of his contradictory feelings for her muddle his mind. Worry and hatred, attraction and anger—they battle it out, but only two manage to reach him externally.

Worry and anger it is. Worry for obvious reasons. Anger because—

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

She has never heard him sound so vicious since the start of whatever odd relationship/friendship/enemy-ship they have. With his worried expression and how he checked her entire body for injury after helping her out of the water, the last thing she would've anticipated from him was anger. Especially not after she saved his best friend's life. Considering what she just did for him, she thinks he should be thanking her, not chastising her.

Behind her back, she can hear a collection of yelling voices and splashing footsteps over the water dripping from them. It can only be the rest of their friends racing up the peninsula to them, but she can't turn around.

She stares at him with utter confusion flooding her at his unexpected outburst. Speechless.

"What was I thinking?" she asks incredulously with her face still cradled between his hands, "I was saving John B's life!"

Their emotional distance and disagreement are made up for in abundance by how physically entangled they've become. It wasn't intentional. It was a result of him needing to get close enough to scour her exposed skin for any bites, but now that they're sitting so near to each other, they forget to back away.

John B is too busy to engage with them.

He's doubled over on the ground with the compulsion to vomit the contents of his stomach into the ocean, but he doesn't dare get close to the edge again after what they went through. Instead, he positions himself away from them and their approaching friends until the half-digested food is forced back through his mouth. The acidic bile scorches his throat and nostrils on the way out.

JJ doesn't have the opportunity to retort back something about her being stupid, because Pope is the first person to reach them and ask, "What the hell happened?"

The rest of the group isn't far behind. It's Kie who asks the next question, then Sarah, then Cleo. They all pop off in rapid succession before either of the three of them can answer.

"Are any of you hurt?"

"Why is he throwing up?"

"Is that a shark?"

The last question draws everyone's attention over to the half-sunken mass of fish bobbing up and down on the breaths of the sea with a wooden spear sticking straight out of its gills. Though it isn't the biggest, most intimidating shark to roam the ocean, its presence doesn't fail to make everyone who looks at it shudder with the realization of what must have happened.

John B wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and points over at her with his trembling arm outstretched.

"She killed it."

The four of them whip their heads in her direction, jaws nearly falling off their faces in disbelief, but she doesn't say anything yet. Because as soon as they feel the eyes of their friends burning into them, she and JJ realize, as though they're returning to reality from the hazy layers of a dreamscape, that they're still holding each other.

She's slumped halfway onto him from when he hauled her body closer to inspect her, so she's essentially sitting on top of him at this point. Her legs, bruised and scratched up from when the waves crested to send them crashing into the rocks, are entangled around his enough that they look back and forth between them and where his hands cup her face in surprise.

JJ doesn't know what came over him.

Now that he snaps out of it at the same time as her, both of them separating and nudging each other away until their bodies are no longer entwined, he feels his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

When he saw her leaping past him to jump into the water, his mind shut off. He wasn't thinking about himself, or the possibility of getting killed, or anything at all. He was only thinking of the danger she put herself in, then he dove in and the rest of his conscious mind faded away into pure survival instinct. Yet, even after he knew the immediate danger was gone, the adrenaline kept him on edge, desperate to get her back to land and pray none of them were hurt.

"It was trying to attack him," she rasps. Her throat is raw from the saltwater she choked on, and every word burns. "But we did it together."

She pushes herself off the ground with an exhausted sigh.

Muscles spent from the struggle in the water, her legs wobble beneath the weight of her upper body as she takes a few steps to help John B up from his position on his hands and knees. From what she heard, he has thrown up all he has left in his stomach and hasn't gagged again in a minute or so, so attempting to stand again shouldn't be too strenuous for him.

His hand is cold in her grasp from the water soaking their bodies, but it holds firmly enough for her to help him into his feet without their palms slipping apart. No patches of blood are visible on his shorts, nor are there any puncture wounds on him from the sharp teeth that snapped at his arm in the quick but vigorous fight.

They were very, very fortunate to have made it out alive, and when he looks down at her face, he feels nothing but gratitude for the girl he previously saw as nothing more than his girlfriend's best friend. They went into the water as casual acquaintances, companions of convenience and the happenstance of being forced onto this island together, but they've come out of it differently. Now, they're friends.

Now, she's a Pogue.

He smiles at her, glancing up at their friends as their questions die down at the sight of his crazy grin, and says, "That was some real Pogue shit right there, Y/N." His eyes come back to meet hers. "I think it's about time we officially make you one of us. What do you think?"

She's opening her mouth to respond when Kiara cuts her off. The rest of them are staring at the trio as if they have ten heads sprouting from their bodies for not immediately surrendering more details of their near-death encounter other than saying she killed it.

"I'm sorry, can we please rewind to the part where you got attacked by a shark first?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I get a drumroll please for..."

The campfire is roaring with the abundance of sticks, leaves, and branches thrown onto the pile to fuel it as she feels a strong pair of arms looping around her thighs to lift her into the expansive, star-flecked sky.

In a flash of haunting memory, she relives the moment where JJ dove into the water after her and lifted her body above the surface to give her the high ground over the shark. She relives its thrashing hunger, the water splashing on her, and the cloudy hue of blood around them that she hoped wasn't either of the boys. For a second, as the world grows taller with her new perspective, she is brought back to the sudden shift she felt then and feels her stomach drop in panic, anticipating the danger.

But then the sound of her friends laughing, as well as the surging fire and crashing waves, comes back to her and forces the frightful flashback away. Her hip fits perfectly in the curve of John B's shoulder, and she lets her head fall back in giggling laughter at how he hoists her up in the air as though she's a holy figure of worship for the Pogues to kneel to.

His voice can likely be heard across the entire island when he shouts, "The Shark Conqueror!"

The group erupts into a triumphant mixture of cheers and laughter that fills the beach, everyone celebrating in their narrow escape earlier today...everyone except JJ.

After John B divulged the gory details of what happened, from JJ's fall to her picking up the spear and jumping in to save him from the shark, they made their way back with enough conversation to last the month. They all asked questions and took peeks back at where it happened in morbid curiosity, wondering how on earth they managed to come out of the situation without a scratch.

The rest of the afternoon continued on with the same buzzing energy that can only be created from the thrill of being alive. She's felt it many times since joining Sarah's group of friends that seem to find trouble wherever they go, but she has never felt it as vehemently as she does tonight. It's a mixture of euphoria, shock, and soul-crushing guilt for having to hurt another living creature, even one that was intending to make a meal of her friend.

No matter how much she grows up or discovers more about herself as a person, feelings never stop being as frustrating as they were to her as a child. You can get better at processing and hindering explosive reactions to them, but they never simplify. She doesn't know why she feels so much at once. She doesn't know why she feels simultaneously on top of the world and thrown off the edge of a cliff, but she thinks it has to do with him.

Since they walked back to the beach and talked about what happened until the day withered into night, which led them here to the “official” ceremony of her being named a Pogue for life, JJ hasn't spoken to her once.

Suddenly, the shoe is on the other foot.

Much like how she avoided him all night last night leading into this morning, he doesn't talk to her. He tries not to look at her too from where he sits on the log of driftwood across the fire, but it's somewhat inevitable with the spectacle John B is making of her at the moment.

Painted in the warm tones of the firelight like a goddess in her own right, Y/N is impossible to look away from, and it makes him angrier than he already is. A handwoven circlet crafted from the hibiscus and hippeastrum flowers growing in the forest around their camp sits atop her head. It doesn't fall to the ground with the movement of her throwing her head back in laughter. It stays in its rightful place against the rule of gravity until her face comes back into view for him to quickly look away from.

It dampers her laughter to see him avoiding her gaze so adamantly, taking a swig of water from one of the small cups they carved from wood and turning to talk to Kie to keep himself busy. The distinct sensation of being on top of the world slips away with the feeling of his cold avoidance and John B lowering her back to the ground until her bare feet sink into the soft sand.

Before she can start sulking about it for the foreseeable future, Sarah steps up beside her.

The familiar touch of a hand on her shoulder brings her comfort amidst her confusion and hurt over the way JJ is acting, and when she turns to see a pretty face looking fondly at her, a warm smile finds her lips.

"Pogue for life?" Sarah asks.

The three words bring make her smile grow the same way it had when she was talking to JJ on the peninsula. It crinkles the skin around her eyes with its unrestrained happiness to hear them because, as much as she pretends to let JJ's comments roll off of her, tonight marks one of the first times she's felt at home with them.

That's not to say they haven't made her feel welcome in the past, they did, but this isn’t the same. This is closer, this is the type of bond that's forged in situations like these where people have no choice but to rely on each other or let their worlds collectively fall apart, and she thinks, for the first time, that she could live here with them forever if she must.

None of them know how much time has passed since they arrived here, least of all her, but it sure as hell feels like an eternity. At first, she could barely withstand the idea of living here for months with the intention of being rescued as soon as possible, but now...

She brings Sarah into an embrace tight enough to force the air from their lungs.

"Pogue for life," she echoes back with her face buried into the salt-scented tresses of dirty blonde hair cascading over her tan shoulders.

Would it be crazy of her to think that this is where they're meant to be? That they're her family and this place she has fantasized about escaping is now their home?

After all, the lush island provides everything they need to sustain themselves with the rationing, scavenging, and hunting routines they adhere themselves to. Freshwater runs down the land in a stream from a water source uphill, plenty of different edible plants grow in the forest, and there's so much left of the expansive land to explore; it's perfect. Everything here is perfect for them, calling out to them to make it their home, but there's one little problem as of right now, and he's sitting across the fire behind her back.

Sarah's arms squeeze around her shoulders once to bring her in even closer.

"Thank you for saving him," her voice is so hushed, Y/N can hardly hear it with her lips brushing the shell of her ear to whisper into it, "I'm not gonna get all mushy with you right now, but I don't know what I would've done if"—Sarah's breath hitches in her throat, and she shakes her head—"I just wanted to thank you."

When they pull apart, Y/N is looking back at her with a knowing expression, one that says everything she can't in the presence of the others, and Sarah can't help but mirror it.

It isn't long before the blonde-haired beauty is whisked away by her boyfriend to help him cook the crabs they caught closer to shore after their encounter with the shark. Not wanting to swim out or risk slipping off the rocks again with the dead fish promising to lure more predators to their area for the next week or so, they settled for hunting for shellfish and making good use of the fruits they find growing in wild abundance in the forest.

The night ticks away in swiftly passing minutes thanks to the humorous company of the people around her.

She nearly chokes on a mouthful of banana as Cleo tells a story from before she met them, when she used to live in Nassau and work jobs with Terence and Stubbs on ships. For such new additions to the group, they both fit surprisingly well with the lifelong childhood friends that sit around and banter with such ease together.

They talk, laugh, dance, and eat together, and there are moments when she feels happier than ever. There are moments exactly like when John B lifted her up and made her giggle at how their friends cheered on her behalf in indulgence of the silly "ceremony" they did, half out of boredom and half out of gratitude for what she did. But then she is reminded of the man sitting on the outskirts of the group with his features hardened into an expression of contemplation she wishes she could decode.

The night breeze feels heavenly on her perpetually overexposed skin. It blows into the fire and allows it to swell from the oxygen supply, crackling and popping embers out every so often like the spark of the zippo lighter JJ fidgets with in his restless hands. The movement attracts her wandering eyes while they should be focused on Cleo and Kie dancing around the fire with boisterous laughter while Sarah and Pope sing for them.

She keeps herself honed in on the opening and closing of the lighter under the guidance of his ring-clad fingers for the next minute or so.

They may have been pitting themselves against each other since they met, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know him well. If anything, the keen attention that her old hatred for him forced her to keep on him made her memorize everything there is to know. And she surely has picked up on the nervous habit of him playing with the lighter whenever he's thinking, whenever there's something crawling under his skin that he can't piece together.

He sits with his back to her, facing out toward the ocean so all she can see is the hand he uses to flick the lighter open and shut with. With a quick glance at the rest of their friends to see if any of them are watching or wanting to speak with her, she pushes herself up from the log and dusts her sandy palms on her shirt.

The tracks of her footsteps lead around the corner of the driftwood he rests against until her feet appear, sunken into the sand in front of him. It takes a lot of control to not allow himself to follow up the length of her body, panning up along her legs until he sees that infuriatingly tenderhearted set of eyes looking down at him.

However, he doesn't have a choice in looking when her hand outstretches in a silent invitation. His first glimpse of her in the last half-hour shows her jerking her chin in the direction of the beach curving around the bend of the island.

This morning, he probably would've taken her up on the offer. He would've done anything to get a few minutes alone with her, but now he can't see past his anger and doesn't know why. He doesn't know why it hasn't calmed yet, but, in truth, it has more to do with him than it does her idiotic yet brave decision to fight off a shark today. Trust him, it still has a lot to do with the idiotic shark thing, but the rest is lost in translation for him.

"Not in the mood," he dismisses her.

Her brows furrow and form a crease between them as she tries to find something to say but comes up with nothing. At least not until it clicks with her what he thought she was trying to do by inviting him to walk with her.

The last time they went off on their own together, it ended in an explosive encounter they have yet to erase from their minds. It's what greets them whenever they close their eyes for a second too long, existing in their wildest daydreams and fantasies whenever they have a spare moment to themselves. Hell, he can't stop thinking about it even when he's already occupied. It was the reason why he didn't catch any fish this morning before the incident that made him pissed at her in the first place. He couldn't stop thinking of her.

"Oh," she murmurs and starts to kneel down until her knees are sinking into the sand the same way she did when patching up his leg. Her eyes peek over his shoulder to ensure the others didn't hear them—"That wasn't what I meant...I was just wondering if you wanted to talk about today. It must have been a lot to process, since he's your best friend and all, and—"

JJ snaps, unable to tolerate it anymore, and stands up from his spot on the sand to move away from her.

"You don't need act all therapist with me, okay? I'm fine, and I don't need you to fix me if that's what you wanted. Today was fine. Everything's fine, so let it go."

Her mouth opens and closes like a fish with a loss for words. For the second time in the span of a minute, she is grasping blindly for something to say in the wake of him shocking her to silence. He's starting to walk past her but she doesn't let him. Her hand shoots out to stop him and holds onto his arm to turn him back despite his rudeness.

Underneath it all, her concern touches him deeply. It shouldn't trigger a reaction like this in him, so why does it? What about today set him off? He hasn't been this genuinely angry with her since before the hunt for the gold began, before she started to blend into their friend group and establish herself as one of them.

"Woah, woah, woah," she says, "I never said that. I thought that you needed someone to talk to. You know, as a friend."

Their friends start to notice their interaction tensing up now. Before, they didn't pick up on her stepping away for a second to check on him. Now, it's impossible to ignore what unfolds hardly six steps from where they watch as slyly as they can. The two of them haven't had a conversation as cold as this one in months, and what he says next takes it to a place that freezes over the connection they made last night and shatters the warm place it held in her heart.

He scoffs.

"We're not friends. If you think you gotta act different 'cause you threw yourself at me last night, don't bother. You hate me and I hate you. That's how it is."

No nicknames, jokes, or anything to act as a buffer, just cruelty. Rejection.

Though they truly were trying to pretend like they weren't paying attention, every single one of their friends stops and stares. A chorus of hushed reactions sound off from across the fire, and the faint sound of Kie muttering, "Oh shit," is the first thing to reach their ears. It's needless to say that none of them could've expected something so callous to come from him, not after what they saw when they ran up to them on the peninsula this morning.

With the way he was holding her then, doting on her and cradling her face between his hands even in the midst of his anger at what she did, they sooner expected the pair to admit they're dating than have a blowout like this.

In the delayed seconds it takes for her to realize what the fuck he just said to her, he watches her face shift from a look of concern to sadness, to flush-faced embarrassment, then finally to anger. Her teeth grind together, nostrils flaring on her inhale, and in one quick moment, she comes to a conclusion within herself.

She reaches up to rip the handmade crown of vibrant flowers off her head with flames to match the camp fire flaring up in her eyes for him. Before she can do anything, he already knows he crossed a line, if not multiple lines. It's evident in everything he sees, from the hurt look on her face to the force with which she shoves the crown into the center of his chest to send him stumbling back a few steps. Just like yesterday, except it couldn't be any more different.

"Fuck. You." She spits the words as though they're venomous, and he almost shrinks away under the intensity of her stare, “Go find somewhere else to sleep tonight, 'cause it sure as hell isn't gonna be with me."

Petals flutter out upon impact against his solid chest and float peacefully to the sand around his feet as he watches her turn on her heels and storm off toward their hut. Though, after what he did and what she said to him as a goodbye, it isn't really theirs anymore, is it? At least not for tonight, tomorrow, or the next day until he finds a way to make her hear him out for an apology.

He stands there, frozen, the entire time he watches her leave. Nothing can move him from the spot, not even Sarah knocking her shoulder against his with a pointed glare on her way past to follow her into the moonlit darkness.

He doesn't even resist the disappointed looks he gets, or the shoulder check from Sarah. This time, he deserves it. He deserves every ounce of their judgment. All she was trying to do was make sure he was okay and he was too consumed in his unreleased frustration from today to see it. And, in a way, he's still frustrated over it, but it's greatly overshadowed by the guilt seeping through him.

The shadowy shapes of the two girls disappear into the small hut further down the beach, and JJ is left with nothing to do but look down at the flower crown clutched to his chest in regret.

Tag List: @gabiatthedisco, @fangirlvoice, @black-syren, @apparrio, @particularcth, @planetdemon, @idk-ijustworkhere, @krisphann, @astrydis, @k-k0129, @zarahsloves, and @stilesflannels.

[yutanology]

Promise Me | Yandere! Nakamoto Yuta X Fem!Reader

Warning : 18+, possessive, foul behaviours, sexual content(nothing biggie), mental illness, death, etc. No proofread. Please, don't be too harsh on me. I'm still new and this is my first ever one shot/fanfiction here :)

Word count : 2.4k+

"Could you just stop?" Y/n whisper shouted at her seatmate who had been bothering her since this morning.

It's not like this is new to her or to anyone in their class but today, he seemed to be more clingy and touchy than he usually was and she found it quite unusual.

By the time she stepped into the school campus this morning, he abandoned his game with his friends on the soccer field just to greet her with his dashing smile and a nice warm hug.

She didn't mind it at first as she was already used to it but when she thought he's going to leave her alone after that, he followed her around instead like a lost puppy. She could almost see a furry tail happily wagging behind him.

Everywhere she goes, he's there right beside her. Either his hands were holding hers or his arms were wrapped around her lower waist. Some people were jealous or happy when they thought they're finally officially together and when someone questioned their relationship, Y/n would immediately respond saying they're just friends while Yuta would say otherwise, leaving them confused.

He was still attached to her during her classes and even ditched his just to be with her. The teachers could only sigh in defeat and shake their head. They knew that whatever they say, there's nothing they can do to make the stubborn guy follow their orders.

At the end, he'd always get what he wants.

The Japanese boy glanced at her side profile. His head was laying on top of his other hand. Seeing her brows furrowed irritatedly, he stopped for a moment before continuing to twirl a few strands of her silky hair between his long fingers.

It doesn't look like he has any plans of keeping his hands to himself at all. She'd been trying to get rid of him for countless times and she failed with all of those useless attempts. She's so close of getting angry at him but she doesn't want to lash out on him and seem like a bad person.

With her another sigh passing through her soft reddish lips, she looked at the clock on the wall. ‘Just five minutes more, Y/n. Just a little more patience, you can do it.’ she tried to convince herself. By those five minutes, she let Yuta play with her hair.

When the school bells rang and echoed around the campus, she immediately fixed her things and rushed out of the classroom before the teacher could even dismiss them. The corridors are already crowded and she could only hope that Yuta wouldn't be able to follow after her this time.

She decided to go to the restroom and stayed there until she was certain that Yuta's nowhere around her. He's really acting weird and she couldn't understand why. Whenever she asked what's wrong with him, he'd always say the same thing like 'I'm fine. It's all in your mind.’

His gaze, the way he looks at her also felt different this time. She felt something uneasy somewhere in the pit of her stomach or maybe there's something wrong with 𝘩𝘦𝘳. Maybe she's just overthinking way too much since that's what she always do mostly when she doesn't get enough sleep and she stayed up late last night.

That's right... these shit are all just in her head.

She released an exhausted sigh and turned the faucet on to wash her face, hoping that it would also wash her frustrations away. She reached for a handkerchief from her bag and wiped her face dry as she made her way out of the comfort room.

Her heart almost jumped out of her ribs when she found Yuta standing just a single step from the exit. She gasped and her hand immediately flew to her chest in surprise. "Yah! Stop scaring me like that!" she yelled and he only chuckled in amusement.

"I've been waiting for you. What took you so long?" he asked her, locking his hand on hers as he lead her to the canteen. Eyes of the people they passed by were immediately on them like they're more interesting than the lessons that their teachers taught them.

"Wait, why were you waiting for me?" confusion was evident on her face.

"So we can eat together for lunch, of course. Come on, we don't have all the time. Classes are going to start after forty minutes." he casually said, pulling her closer to him when they walked passed a group of boys and he didn't fail to notice the way they looked at Y/n.

He didn't like it, not even a bit.

Y/n seriously couldn't count how many times she sighed at how she always end up letting Yuta do whatever he wanted to do with her. From the simple hand holds to sudden random kisses that he pepper on her face. No matter how hard she tried to push him off, he'd always stick himself even more closer to her.

It was like that for the passed weeks and it was honestly so tiring as hell. Yuta just won't leave her alone even when she goes to the restroom, he would insist to wait outside the cubicle that she had to push him away and lock the main door of the room.

She could barely talk to other people peacefully as he would shoo them away immediately and ask them to leave her alone. It was so frustrating and she's getting fed up of his unexplained foolish practices.

She's well aware that the guy likes her more than just a friend and she also can't deny that she's attracted to him but these behaviours of his are just too much for her.

The said dirty blonde haired Japanese guy was sitting closely beside her, his chin rested on her right shoulder as he watched her turn pages of the book that she's reading. He wasn't paying attention to the words written on the dead leaves. His eyes stared at her small hands, wondering how they would feel like around his cock—

"Yuta." the guy's ears perked up when she said his name. Snaking his arms around her waist, he pulled her to his chest and planted a kiss on her neck. Her cheeks heated at the unexpected skin contact but she tried her best to ignore the butterflies that he's giving her.

She's planning to finally confront him and she had to make him stop whatever he's doing cuz it's no fun at all. It's not entertaining and she's not amused at all. "Yuta." he hummed, his kisses getting wet and he started to graze his teeth on her skin, lightly nibbling on them until he finally bit hard enough to leave a mark.

A whimper tried to escape her mouth but she's fast enough to bite her lower lip, trapping the sound until it disappeared on it's own. He was disappointed when she didn't make any sound for him, thinking that he didn't do well enough to make her feel good so he ran the tip of his tongue on her neck.

His hot minty breath heated her skin and tingles spread around her body when he blew her sensitive ear, nibbling her earlobe and placing a kiss on one of her flushed cheeks. His hands wandered under her blouse, caressing the side of her hips with his thumb.

He slowly dragged his large hands up under her breasts and just when he was about to touch them, Y/n pulled away from him. A low whine and groan simultaneously erupted from him, complaining at the lose of skin contact from her.

Y/n looked around the library if someone saw them and she was thankful that no one was there but only them. She straightened her blouse, closing the book and stood up. "Where are you going?" he also stood up from his seat, ready to follow her wherever she's going.

She didn't answer him. She slung one of her bag's strap on her shoulder, walking away with the book and placed it back to where she took it. Yuta was quick to keep up with her steps, confused of why she was suddenly in a hurry.

When they finally got out of the library, she stopped at the nearby bleachers where students barely pass by and turned to him with an exasperated sigh, "Yuta, seriously, what's wrong with you?" the way she questioned him came out more stressed out than how she wanted it to be.

Yuta blinked his eyes a few times as if he's trying to figure out what she meant. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me? I'm totally fine. Are you okay?" it was his turn to ask her, walked close to her and placed a hand on her forehead.

"Are you sick? You don't seem fine to me. Let me take you to the clinic—"

"Yuta, stop." she stepped away from him before he could even hold her hand. He halted, his brows met as his eyes stared at her worryingly.

"Stop whatever you're doing to me and please, leave me alone. I also need some time for myself and other people around me, alright? You can't keep me from interacting with anyone. This is honestly suffocating, Yuta. We can't keep doing this."

He felt like his heart shattered into tiny pieces. His chest tightened and his airways narrowed, making him unable to breath properly. Without him knowing, tears were already streaming down his cheeks.

Y/n was taken aback at this, immediately feeling guilty for making him cry. She didn't expect him to be this emotional for his appearance.

"Look, I'm sorry but—"

"D-don't you love me anymore, Y/n?" He didn't let her finish her words, leaving her speechless at the question.

Her mouth left agape, struggling to find the right words to tell him. "Did you find someone else better than me that's why you're planning to leave me, is that it?" more salty water poured out of his eyes.

"Yuta, w-what are you talking about? We're not in a relationship to begin with."

"Then let's be together officially! Just you and me, Y/n. I'll do anything just to be with you. I promise, I'll be the best boyfriend you'll ever have. I'll give you everything you want—" he held her arms, "—just promise me I'll be the only one you'll ever love and want to be with. Promise me, Y/n. Promise me!"

Yuta secured his arms around her, holding onto her desperately. Scared that if he lets go, he might lose her. He can't let that happen. Like what he said, he'll do whatever it takes just to have her.

All for himself.

"Y-you have to promise me, Y/n."

Her head was clouded with a lot of thoughts. She was barely thinking straight and her emotions also messed up with her. She really likes Yuta. The increasing speed of her heartbeat and the butterflies flying around her stomach with euphoria whenever she's with him didn't lie at all but it felt wrong.

These feelings didn't feel right.

She pulled herself away from him and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Yuta..." that was all she said before she left him without even looking back at him.

She had no idea how it broke him and how it made him do things that a normal person wouldn't do. He saw nothing but red after she disappeared from his sight. Everyone who tried to touch or talk to her the next day suddenly disappeared, a minute after they left somewhere else.

At first, she didn't think much about it until the number of people disappearing quickly increased and made everyone alarmed. All schools around the place were forced to close for a moment and people were told to stay at home with tight security to keep them safe.

Everyone was scared including Y/n, of course.

It made her so anxious that she could barely sleep at night. One morning, a knock on her door echoed around her silent apartment and she panicked, quickly hiding on her bedroom.

She almost peed her pants in fear when the knocking and ringing of doorbells continued for minutes. Her phone went off on her nightstand and she ran to it. Yuta's calling.

Without a second thought, she answered it with trembling voice. "Y-yuta..."

"Y/n, are you okay? Please open your door for me, I have to make sure you're safe. I'm the one outside your house."

And that was all it took for him to be with her. Make her scared to be outside, convince her that everyone is dangerous and he's the only one who can protect her.

Whenever he goes outside to buy food and other necessities for the both of them, he'd always return with a small cut or bruises and it made Y/n scared that she might lose him too.

He's all she had left.

He made her thought of that. He's all and everything she could ever need. She'd be nothing without him.

"Do you love me?" he asked and she nodded silently.

"If you really do, promise me that you'll love me and only me, Y/n. I wanna hear it from you." Yuta looked at her straight in the eyes when he said those words.

"I promise." his heart raced inside his chest.

A smile stretched out on his plump lips. "I love you, Y/n. So much than you could ever imagine." He meant it. He always had and always will. He leaned his body closer to her, locking his lips with hers and they moved in sync.

This is paradise to him.

He couldn't explain how much happy he's right now. With her here in his arms, it's the only place where she's safe. He watched her drift off to sleep, he kissed her forehead when her eyes finally closed.

He could look at her like this forever. The love bites that he painted on her skin looks so beautiful. She's like the most beautiful painting he'd ever seen and she deserve to be placed on his art gallery but she's only for him to be looked at.

He sighed dreamily as he continued to press more kisses on her neck. He successfully made her love him. There's nothing he could ask for, now that her naked body is already tangled with him under their soft blanket.

He could only hope that she'd keep her words and stay true to him.

Feedbacks are pretty much appreciated and requests are open! Feel free to share your thoughts!

I will not always be active but I will try my best to attend each of your requests and to also interact with y'all.

I apologize for not being word-perfect in English. English sadly ain't for me—