#dick emery

[paintermagazine]

‘Bottoms up!’

Film: ‘Ooh… You Are Awful’ (1972)

Actors: Dick Emery and Cheryl Kennedy

[oldshowbiz]

The structure of The Dick Emery Show (1965) obviously influenced the format of A Bit of Fry and Laurie.

[ozu-teapot]

Loot | Silvio Narizzano | 1970

[noconcessions]

[mashedpotatosky]

"The Case of the Mukkinese Battle Horn" 1956

[celebritybuddytrolling]

addressing what we’re all thinking

[kawaistrawberry21]

Wayne Manor Shenanigans: A Summer to Remember

As the Wayne family prepared for their three-month overseas business trip, Cordelia Wayne couldn't help but feel a mixture of excitement and mischief bubbling within her. With her parents, Bruce and Roxanne, and Alfred Pennyworth, the loyal family butler, all away, the Manor was theirs to enjoy.Cordelia, with her infectious energy and adventurous spirit, had already concocted a plan to turn their temporary freedom into an unforgettable summer. She gathered her three adopted older brothers—Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Tim Drake—and her younger half-brother, Damian Wayne, around the grand fireplace in the living room."Guys, I've got an idea," Cordelia announced, a mischievous glint in her eyes.The brothers exchanged knowing looks, bracing themselves for whatever wild scheme Cordelia had cooked up this time."Let's turn Wayne Manor into the ultimate party zone!" she exclaimed.Dick chuckled, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I'm in. But we better make sure we don't destroy the place before Mom and Dad get back."Jason raised an eyebrow. "Are we talking about a low-key hangout or a full-blown rave?"Cordelia grinned. "Why not both? We've got three whole months to make memories."Tim, ever the voice of reason, spoke up. "We should probably set some ground rules. No inviting strangers, no illegal substances, and definitely no breaking anything valuable."Damian rolled his eyes. "This is going to be utterly chaotic."And chaotic it was.Over the next few weeks, Wayne Manor transformed into a haven of laughter, music, and adventure. Cordelia and her brothers hosted movie nights in the Batcave, impromptu picnics in the sprawling gardens, and epic Nerf gun battles throughout the halls.They even threw a themed costume party, with Dick dressing up as a swashbuckling pirate, Jason as a brooding vampire, Tim as a mad scientist, Cordelia as a fearless warrior princess, and Damian begrudgingly donning a makeshift superhero costume.Despite the occasional mishap—a broken vase here, a spilled drink there—the Wayne siblings reveled in their newfound freedom and bonded like never before. They shared stories, secrets, and inside jokes, creating memories that would last a lifetime.But as the end of summer drew near, a sense of bittersweetness hung in the air. The thought of their parents returning brought a mixture of excitement and dread. They would miss the chaos and camaraderie of their summer escapades, but they also looked forward to reuniting with their family.On the eve of their parents' homecoming, the Wayne siblings gathered one last time in the living room, surrounded by remnants of their summer adventures."We may have turned Wayne Manor into a bit of a mess," Cordelia said, a wistful smile on her face, "but we also turned it into a home."Her brothers nodded in agreement, their bond stronger than ever.As the clock struck midnight, signaling the end of their summer escapade, the Wayne siblings shared one final group hug, knowing that no matter where life took them, they would always have each other.And as Bruce, Roxanne, and Alfred returned home, greeted by the sight of their children—messy hair, tired eyes, but hearts full of love—they knew that Wayne Manor had been in good hands.For Cordelia Wayne and her brothers, this summer would be remembered as a time of adventure, laughter, and most importantly, family.

[antaripirate]

domestic rhylucard MY HEART🥺 also i am so excited to learn more about nadiya, there are just so many possibilities

[letstrytoohard]

I'm Looking, Respectfully

Gwyn, Nesta, and Emerie end up at Feyre's charity car wash, and some jaws end up on the floor.

[hihimissamericanbi]

FAVE HP SMUT CREATORS

Ever since I got that lovely anon asking for the best smut I've ever read, it got me thinking about some of my favorite smut creators in general.

So here is a very non-exhaustive list of fan-fucking-tastic smut writers and artists I've come across in the HP fandom that weren't mentioned (shamefully) in my last batch. Feel free to add to the list! We must keep the people fed.

xoxo go take a sip of cold water girl

WRITERS

@spookymoonie

Lord Espooky came into this fandom guns a-blazing with their kink headcanon a day for Wolfstar and it has spiraled from there. They GET IT. He has a super well-organized masterlist pinned to his tumblr ft tons of different kinks, fic lengths, scenes, etc. Go. Now.

@fiveht

The definition of IYKYK. Daddy kink isn't super my thing, but Five makes me enjoy it. If you vibe with age gap daddy Remus and pretty boy Sirius, their Adore series is a must-read. They also have a stellar A/B/O Wolfstar fic plus podfic and write some Marvel too!

@greenvlvetcouch

An absolute legend in this fandom. Wolfstar, Jeggy, Rosekiller. Gritty, chewy, embodied sex.

@emeryhall

Emery writes sex the way some people breathe. Like it's just part of the narrative. It's SO punchy. And also she is the queen of Crack Smut.

@kaaaaaaarf

Patron saint of Wolfstar hatefucks. mic drop.

@cancerravenclaw

We snagged MK over to Wolfstar from the clutches of Dramione. Her series "mk's kink exposé" could also be called "celine's kink exposé." I'll just leave that there.

@wolfpants

Everything they create is magic, but they are especially known for rare pairs and Dronarry.

WRITERS AND ARTISTS

@aspiring-artist-em

The queen of Lesbian Wolfstar. Both art and fic. Also queen of humiliation and pain kink and Walburga psychological trauma. ye be warned.

@upthehillnsfw / @upthehillart

I am afraid no one is ready for this art. Truly. Tons of different ships, positions, acts. I gasp every time. And their Pansmione fic is epic (which I have talked about before).

ARTISTS

@industrations

I highly recommend getting on Indi's Patreon so you can enjoy their NSFW drawings, mostly Wolfstar and Jegulus, occasional Rosekiller. Too many iconic moments to count.

@waxingrunes

The officially-sponsored artist of Five's Adore series. Look, their work is nothing short of indulgent. Shhhh don't worry about the physics just let it happen. And by It I mean Remus' big dick hands.

@basiatlu

By beloved. The one. The only. Bosh's drawings are so ALIVE. They leap off the screen. Her Drarry is nothing less than iconic. She also dabbles in other characters/ships like Wolfstar and Blackcest. Siriusly, you can't go wrong.

DRARRY SMUT

OKAY, Drarry people. There are so so many excellent Drarry smut writers it is impossible to name them all. Here are but a tiny handful I have pulled from my bookmarks. I'm happy to rec specific fics if asked :)

@cavendishbutterfly, @bixgirl1, @l0vegl0wsinthedark, @shiftylinguini, @kbrick, @fluxweeed, @academicdisasterfic

MORE

I'm tagging those other creators from older asks because I can't put this list out there without them on it <3

@crushofdoves @we-are-swearwolves @tenthousandyearsx @theresthesnitch @lqtraintracks Quietlemonhush @cuddlebugsirius

[ozu-teapot]

Ooh... You Are Awful | Cliff Owen | 1972

Dick Emery, Cheryl Kennedy, Derren Nesbitt

[butchhamlet]

do you have any good shakespeare retelling book recs?

what a beautiful time to ask this, says guy who has left this ask collecting cobwebs in his inbox for months! because guess who has two thumbs and just finished queen goneril by erin shields! WHAT a fucking play, holy SHIT, this is some of the best characterization of the lear sisters that i've ever read and the exploration of womanhood as filtered through class + race + shitty families + political maneuvering is so so so good. also the things shields does with the og playtext... chef's fucking KISS

anyway, recency bias aside, i've been meaning to make a post about my favorite shakespeare retellings for a while, and i think i never actually did it because i wanted to make a lear retelling ranking list and then i never read some of the ones on my TBR. so whatever. the learlist will happen someday. here are my favorites in general. (here is my goodreads shelf for the retellings i've read, good and bad, and here is the shelf for the ones i have yet to read.)

in no particular order:

a thousand acres by jane smiley: outsold. epitome of what makes an effective retelling--a book that clearly has something to say about and to the original text, but that also isn't afraid to diverge, to exclude here and zoom in there. ungraciously, this is "lear on a farm" and it starts a little slow, but holy fucking shit, i can't do justice in a paragraph to the way this book unraveled me. one of the best books of all time mayhaps. also, introduced the edmund character by describing his ass. 10/10

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake: i don't read that much YA anymore but jesus fucking christ. books tailored for me specifically. twelfth night retelling about siblings + mental illness + being bisexual + love triangles that actually make sense (emotions are confusing!) instead of being contrived + beautiful description + excellent dialogue + THE MENTAL ILLNESS. books that made me start crying in zoom class in 2020

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: kind of a cop-out answer because we all know this one. but that does not detract from how good it is. this is one of those plays, at least for me, that makes me think, "ohhhhhh, THIS is what theater can do. this is using its medium to the absolute utmost." it is so clever and it makes me want to cry. i think about "i don't know. it's the same sky" more often than i can say

american moor by keith hamilton cobb: not exactly a retelling, but a one-man play about a Black man auditioning for the lead role in Othello, tangling as he does with his relationship with shakespeare's work and cultural dominance. suuuuuch a good fucking play even beyond the analysis of othello (which is excellent); the language is so fucking incredible. everyone who likes shakespeare should read this.

teenage dick by mike lew: modern teenage richard iii; this one's more reimagining than retelling, because it diverges pretty sharply from the plot of richard iii, but god, it's so fucking fun. and upsetting! really upsetting also.

foul is fair by hannah capin: i will be so real. i read this in high school and some of the YA books i've revisited since did not hold up for me. so idk if i can tell you this is "good" with my full chest. but the pitch is "lady macbeth gets sexually assaulted at a party and decides to fucking kill the boys who did it" and i stayed up until like 1am to finish it because it was such a vicious gleaming wild ride

the stars undying by emery robin: does this count? hard to say, because it's just as much a retelling of roman history than shakespeare's antony and cleopatra (honestly, more, since it focuses on the era where caesar and cleopatra were lovers, which is before shakespeare's play). but i'm counting it anyway because it's bisexual space opera cleopatra and it's the best book i've read so far in 2024 and it's making me crazy and i'm writing a thesis on it < genuinely

peerless by jihae park: macbeth, but college applications, featuring asian macbeths (they're twin sisters >:3) who think their classmate has taken their place in their dream school because of affirmative action/DEI. this play is absolutely VICIOUS. it's macbeth x heathers. think it mirrors macbeth in faltering a little in its final stretch, but it still fucks hard

the wednesday wars by gary d. schmidt: okay, not a retelling; this is about a preteen boy in the 60s. but it's one of the best most genuine and heartwarming books i've ever read and it manages to be hilarious while also foregoing cheap slapstick punching-low humor for a hell of a lot of warmth and passion. and the main character interacts with shakespeare a lot as a running theme so i can justify putting it on this list. #evangelizing

of course, i would be remiss not to mention that @suits-of-woe / @mjulianwrites has written the best take on Two Gentlemen of Verona to ever exist, and i mean that quite seriously. unfortunately it hasn't been published yet so we'll all just have to prayer-circle about it. i would also be remiss not to take the opportunity to. uh. coughs. do a bit of casual self-promo. if you 1. have ocd 2. have gender or 3. think about malvolio a lot. boy do i have the novella for you

will definitely add to this when i read more retellings; feel free to drop recs in the tags/replies/reblogs/my askbox!

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

acotar stans

nesta stan’s: can’t decide whether they hate rhys or cassian more

feyre stan’s: would murder nesta if they could

elain stans: *cough cough elriel* *cough cough self insert*

rhys stans: *I simply choose to ignore what I don’t want to see*

cassian stans: idk maybe have like a man bun fetish

azriel stans: he has no personality but it’s ok because he has a big dick

mor stans: mor 👏 did 👏 not 👏 lie 👏 about 👏 her 👏 trauma 👏 you 👏 just 👏 think 👏 eris 👏 is 👏 hot

amren stans: we exist?

gwyn stans: protect her with everything they have

emerie stans: she likes smut and is gay if you hate her thats on you

hellion stans: on their knees begging sjm for a hellion x lady of autumn novella

lucien stans: he caught a fish with his bare hands, there is nothing else to say

[readychilledwine]

hi, i’ve recently found your blog + wow, you’re writing is amazing! i have an idea for i would like to request, i hope that’s okay.

reader has just came home from book club w nesta, gwen and emerie at the house of wind. reader is mated to az - they’re been mated for about a few years. still reader has met nesta, reader almost always has her nose in a book - smutty book to be exact. reader is kinda embarrassed by this bc she wasn’t one to read smutty books before meeting nesta. az is starting to question why reader is always so invested in a book or why he has hardly seen reader for the last couple of weeks. az picks up the book reader is currently reading behind reader’s back & starts to get a little jealous maybe? az may confront reader about the book? i’m not to sure about the ending, but i do know az would do something like asking reader what their favorite scene & they could reenact it or something of that nature. i could totally see az teasing reader just a little bit as well.

i love for you to put your own spin on this. thank you 🩷🩷🩷

Book Boyfriend

Summary - Azriel has gotten a little tired of your reading habits.

Warnings - Az is a kind of a dick

A/n - I went the spicy mad Az route, and don't worry. Per Liz tradition, it's open for another part.

Azriel could have burned the damn book in your hands. You hadn't set it down in 3 days.

3 fucking days of you and Nesta curled into each other, drinking Rhysand's expensive wine, reading that stupid thick book.

He knew you loved to read. Books and book related gifts had been his go-to gifts for you since the mating bond snapped 100 years ago. But the obsession since Ness was made was unbearable.

He never had to fight for your attention until now. He felt a shoulder brush his. "Ah, they're in the "We don't want Cassian to know we're reading smut," pose."

Azriel froze, feeling down the bond and trying to get to your end. You had it locked down, but there was a soft blush on your and Nesta's cheeks. "How do you know its smut?"

Cassian sighed. "It's all they read, Azzy. Have you not noticed?"

His shadows darkened. You had hardly kissed or touched him in 3 days in favor of a smut novel? He could show you things, do things, most authors would only think of in their sick dreams.

He felt himself paling under Cassian's gaze. Was he not pleasing you anymore? Was he not performing to your expectations? You always seemed content, spent, and overjoyed when you two had sex.

"I need a fucking drink." Azriel stormed away. Slamming the door to your shared chambers shut. He took on look at the crystal whiskey decanter and decided to drink until you came to the room.

Azriel woke up to soft footsteps and the feeling of a blanket getting laid across him. He heard you sigh, falling into bed, then that faint creak of an unbroken in book spine opening.

Meaning you had a new book. A new smut novel to ignore him with. A new fake boyfriend to imagine between your thighs.

Azriel stood on shaking legs, and he went to bed. Watching as you snapped to book shut and set it on your nightstand title down. "Did I wake you?"

"Yup." He curled into the bed facing away from you. It was childish, but if you weren't happy, you could have just told him instead of replacing him.

When he woke up, raging headache and all, you were gone. But the book wasn't. He reached over and grabbed it, cracking the spine out of spite. 55 chapters in, and Azriel was bored. If he tried to fuck you on a table covered in paint, you'd glare at him about the mess. About getting paint 1000 places you shouldn't.

So why the hell were you reading a book about it?

It was late into the evening when you returned. Azriel had finished the book, marking specific things he wanted to confront you about. He didn't stand as the door opened, didn't greet you as you came in with a few bags. You were all smiles, dolled up in a pretty dress. Your hair was loosely curled, and makeup was done.

"Where the fuck have you been?" It came out as harsh as he expected it to. "I take a week off and you have hardly spent time with me."

He watched you jump, eyes going wide as you took a few steps back. "Nesta wanted to go into town. We lost track of time. I-"

"Lost track of time? Aren't you the female who taught Rhysand how to properly track the stars and sun?" He stalked toward you, book in hand. "Did you two go to find more vitriol like this?" He held it up, watching as your cheeks flushed and you went to reach for it.

"Azriel-"

He lifted it above his head. "You haven't touched me in weeks. You've kissed me maybe once. Hell, yesterday you were content to leave me on the damn couch. I can see why though, you're sitting here getting your needs met by some fictional fae lord instead of me. If you aren't happy anymore just tell me."

Shock hit your face slowly, mind whirling and emotions pouring into him from the bond. "Azriel, it's a book. Not another male."

That wasn't enough for him. "And how many times have you pleasured yourself to this book? Thinking about the main character between your thighs?"

You sighed. "To that one? Not a single time. I haven't gotten to read it and you already damaged the spine." The sadness in your voice made him pause, lowering the book until you could grab it.

You were always so gentle with your books, caring for them and placing them somewhere safe. Bookmarks never sat in them for too long out of fear of damage. He watched you stroke the spine, going to the bookshelf and placing it in the spot it would belong in to match your color based organization.

"Is this really about a book, or is something else going on?" You wouldn't look at him, wouldn't say his name. He could hear the soft tremble. "I'm sorry I made a friend. I'm sorry I've been spending time with Nesta instead of you. But she gets it. She gets how feeling like you don't belong in this family feels," a stab to his chest. "She gets how feeling out of place among you all feels," the stab turning into a gapping wound that had him leaning against the couch. "She gets what it's like to have a mate that is busy and expects you to be here waiting."

You had ripped his heart out. In 100 years, this had never come up. There had never been signs. "Y/n-"

He watched in silence as you held a hand up, moving to grab some clothes and a hair brush. "I'm going to sleep in a guest room tonight. This could have been turned into something beautiful, Az. We could have used these books to inspire fun in our bedroom," your hand ran along that damaged book. "Instead, you disrespected my belongings, accused me of an unthinkable act, and made this about your fragile ego."

You left the room, silence falling in the wake. Azriel stared at the book he had damaged. It was a first edition. A soft shade of blue with swirls of darkness. He walked to it, head hung in shame.

It was an escape. A way for you to cope with your feelings. No different than him training, and he had ruined it.

And now, he checked his calendar, he had 4 days to make it up to you before he, Cassian, and Nesta were gone for a month.

Leaving you alone all over again with nothing but an empty house and a book boyfriend.

General tag list:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho

@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered

Azriel Taglist:

@elle4404

💕 As always, comment or message me if you'd like to be added to a taglist💕

[seungrishair]

Does anyone else feel like the whole wing clipping thing in ACOTAR parallels with female genital mutilation in the real world?

It’s mentioned in the book that Illyrian males would rather die than lose their wings. That they’re taught to protect them at all costs and that some males when having their wings suddenly touched without invitation will attack first and ask questions second. That wings are erogenous zones to the point some males will reach completion when having their wings touched. It is joked that wing span corresponds to dick size.

Now with all that info regarding wings we also learn that a female’s wings are clipped around the time of her first period so they can’t fly, to make them more docile wives and, to keep them for breeding. The tendons of the wings were cut, incisions were made and forced to improperly heal leaving the wings crippled forever.

So everything that the males held to be true and enjoyed was stolen from the females to keep them under control. The joy and pleasure was stolen from females so that their focus would be on being wives and breeders.

Doesn’t that sound familiar? Doesn’t that remind you of female genital mutilation?

To me, the Illyrian wings are symbolizing the genitals and how the males proudly value their genitalia above all else and want to be in control of women’s genitalia as well.

Am I wrong?

Which also brings me to the point that Emerie’s clipped wings were not only physical abuse, they were sexual assault in a way as well.

[lovemyromance]

No offense to Nesta, but I don’t think I could read another 700 page book centered around her. And I specially wouldn’t read a 700 page book with Gwyn as the main character. I could be in the minority, but I almost DNF Silver Flames.

I hear ya. I liked ACOSF, but it lacked action. There was more focus on Cassian absolutely chafing for Nesta and Nesta training, instead of having anything actually happen plot-wise.

The troves and Eris/soldiers part was interesting, but the BR seemed kind of rushed. It's SJM fantasy, so of course I knew all three women would be fine in the BR, and there would be no stakes. I liked Nesta, I liked Cassian, I liked Gwyn, I liked Emerie.

I wasn't a part of this fandom when I read ACOSF, and so I like to think I read it 'as the author intended'. Meaning, I had no preconceived bias about ships or characters. I thought it was necessary for Nesta to go to HOW rehab, I thought she definitely fucked up in the way she told Feyre about the pregnancy issues but I understood why she did it, I thought Rhys was kinda a dick but I understood why he was like that, I thought it was badass when Nesta put on the mask, I thought her and Cassian being so down bad for each other was hot, I absolutely loved Cassian and did think he was deserving of Nesta, I thought Nesta giving up her power to save Feyre was the ultimate show of her love for her sister–

Imagine my surprise, when I come into this fandom and I see people being Anti-Rhys. Anti-IC. Anti-Feyre. Anti-Cassian. I see people saying Nesta's going to break the mating bond with Cassian to go be with Eris. I see people saying she's going to overthrow Rhys and become High Lady of the NC.

Oh, and Azriel suddenly is mates with Nesta's friend, Gwyn – even though he's trained her every day and they had maybe exchanged 2 sentences in the entire book? It was....bizarre to say the very least.

Like ACOSF in my head was NOT good enough to garner this level of ride or die fans. I don't know WHY people have latched onto Nesta & Gwyn so hard that they're now saying everyone else in the books is bad and an abuser or whatever in comparison to them. It's just so weird. Weird. Weird. Weird.