#dib walks in one day and zim is dressed like this

[iodotsys]

Domestic living.

[harveybwabbit92]

Invader Zim: How they met. Tallest x reader, Zim x OC.

How they met:

Zim: (I made Zim's an OC: Drena Ove: She's a 24 year old Student Teacher, She's usually assisting and occasionally filling in for Miss Bitters, She knows that Zim is alien, but genuinely doesn't care, considering she’s an artificial human created and experimented on in a secret lab, she believes humanity has had it coming for while, and wants to help Zim in accomplishing his invasion, She has a bit of a history with the Membrane family..)

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Miss Bitters was late, she's never late... Zim was shifting anxiously in his seat and stiffened along with half the class when the principal walked in, informing the students that Miss Bitters will be taking a three day sick leave and all her education duties will be filled in by her TA, Dib looked perplexed and raised his hand. "We have a TA?" the Principal nodded. "Miss Ove come take your seat." Everyone looked at the door expectantly.

Only for someone to clear their throat everyone's attention was turned to the back of the class, where a short blond woman stood up from a chair, who the kids all thought was student like them, and a nosy one at that! They always ignored her offers of help; assuming Drena was just walking around the class watching them do their work so she could cheat off them, to say everyone was mortified was an understatement.

"Thankyou principal Murns... ah, w-where are you go-" the principal walked out the door as she was still talking. "Oh...*door slams* Okay." She awkwardly walked up to the front of the class, while looking through miss Bitters's lesson plan and sat down at the desk "So... um, any questions?" Again Dib raised his hand. "Questions that don't involve Aliens." the big headed boy lowered his hand.

Zim eagerly raised his hands and Drena cocked a brow. "Yes Zim?" the green skinned kid had this weird grin on his face when she said his name. "How tall are you?" The blond resisted the urge to snapped at this kid, barely two minutes in and someone was already gearing up to make fun of her height! "5'3"..." she muttered as a couple kids snickered causing Drena to wince, Their snickering was cut short by this look Zim shot them, it was filled with so much bloodlust and promises of death they shut up and stared at their desks.

The blond woman calm down and faced the class. "Right any other questions?" no one else raised their hands, So Drena started the lesson while Zim was left dealing with this weird tingly feeling in he had in his squeedlyspooch every time the short woman looked his way.  

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The Tallest: You're about 6'3" and were friends with Drena working as a nightshift security guard in a creepy AF warehouse filled with ever more creepy old AF robots from Membrane labs, You are working as Zim's Henchwoman (when not at your actual job.) after Dib accidentally blew up your Motorhome (a classic Airstream you spent half a fortune to restore) thinking you were one of Zim’s alien allies in disguise and your motorhome was your ship in disguise! Needless to say You jumped at the chance for revenge and Dib was at the top of your shit list! 

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Zim called you and Drena down to the lab to show off his latest plan however before he could say anything, he felt it necessary to start bursting out into loud maniacal laughter; that lasted for four hours! at some point you had curled up and fallen asleep, Drena had put a blanket over you and went upstairs to bed and Zim had just kind of forgotten about you. 

He thought your covered body was lumpy beanbag chair and sat down to call the tallest to let them know about his latest scheme to take over the earth. "Sounds great Zim... you should definitely do that." Red huffed while Purple mumbled something incomprehensible while pretending to listen, both wanting nothing more then to end this call go back to eating.

When this weird beeping noise caught the three Irkens off guard; Zim especially considering his chair started moving! he yelp as his "Chair" came to life throwing him of screen, Both Red and Purple started laughing hysterically at this, as you pulled the blanket off your head and looked around confused. 

You were still very groggy and heard laughter and Zim yelling at you to wake up and get out! when you looked down at your still beeping watch and saw it was 10:45 pm! That woke you up. "Shit! I'm gonna be late!" You freaked springing to  up your full height; nearly hitting your head off a low hanging cable.

There was startled gasp and the laugher stopped almost immediately, you paid no mind to it and looked around for you bag with your uniform inside and quickly got dressed not caring who saw, "What are you doing? Go change upstairs!?" Zim snapped while frantically using his body to block the screen, so no one saw you, while the Tallest peeked over him and watched slack jawed, as you finished doing up your shirt. "Sorry Boss no time, see ya at six am!" You hopped onto the elevator and ran to work.

There was a tense silence before Red spoke up "Who was that tall creature?" he said almost dazed before Zim could answer Purple cut in "And why does she call you boss?" he demanded arms crossed face scrunched up in disgust, Zim stared at his leaders awkwardly. "Uh... So remember when I said humans can be tall?" Both Red and Purple actually took Zim seriously...for once.

[snappedsky]

Fanatics 93

The kids graduate high school.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

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End of an Era

           It’s early evening, and the Skool is bristling with people.

           It’s not common for schools to be full of people after hours; it only happens for special occasions. And today is the most special occasion for any high schooler: graduation.

           Johnny’s car pulls up into the full parking lot. He steps out of the driver’s seat wearing nice black jeans and a t-shirt under a leather jacket. Out of the backseat exit Devi- in a pretty, purple dress-, Tenna- in a nice, two-piece suit-, and Cammie- wearing a simple black dress. And out of the passenger seat, Squee emerges wearing a black suit and tie.

           As they walk up to the Skool- Johnny pushing Cammie’s wheelchair-, Squee tugs with annoyance at his tie until Cammie smacks his hand with her cane.

           “Quit playing with it,” she orders.

           “But I hate it,” he whines, “it feels like it’s choking me.”

           “You need to look your best,” she points out, “it’s a very important day.”

           “How come Nny doesn’t have to wear a tie?” Squee asks.

           “I’m not the one graduating,” Johnny retorts.

           Before they enter the Skool, Squee hears someone call his name and turns to see Pepito approaching, his mom close behind. Pepito’s wearing a classy, black three-piece suit with a red shirt and his mom is wearing a very nice red dress.

           “Oh, look at you, so handsome,” Pepito remarks as he straightens Squee’s tie.

           “You’re not wearing a tie,” Squee observes.

           “Do I look like I need one? I look good.”

           They both chuckle and Pepito wraps his arm around Squee’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s catch up with the others.”

           Squee waves to Johnny and the others as they go on ahead into the Skool.

           The hallways are full of relatives of the graduates, waiting for the ceremony to start. Pepito and Squee slip through them and head straight toward the auditorium and into its backroom, where the rest of the students and two teachers are waiting.

           “There they are,” Dib says as Pepito and Squee walk in. He’s wearing a dark blue tuxedo.

           “It’s about time,” Zim grunts. He’s wearing his usual Irken uniform, but with an added pink bowtie.

           “Some of us aren’t a ten minute walk away from the Skool,” Pepito grunts.

           “Wow, Tak, you look really nice,” Squee comments.

           “I know,” she smiles. She’s wearing a full-length, dark purple dress with a long neck, along with shoulder length gloves.

           “Is Maddie here?” Pepito asks, looking around.

           “I haven’t seen her,” Dib replies.

           “Yeah, she wasn’t sure if she was going to come,” he explains, “she doesn’t like these kinds of things.”

           “And you guys are going to be doing a music tour?” Tak scoffs.

           “Well, it’s different when she’s singing.”

           Shocked gasps grab everyone’s attention, and they turn towards the door. A girl has entered looking incredibly pale- not just her skin but her hair and dress are also white. She seems very sick as she stumbles in, doubled over and moaning.

           “Darla!” one of the teachers, Mr. Stutters, gasps as he and Miss Sweeties rush over to her. “What happened? Are you unwell?”

           The girl is unable to answer, just moans.

           “Let’s get her to her parents,” Miss Sweeties and addresses the rest of the students. “All of you stay put.”

           They take the girl out of the room, leaving the students to stare after them with concern.

           “That was Darla,” one of the students says, “she didn’t look like that when she showed up.”

           “Yeah, her dress was pink,” another adds.

           “And her hair is blonde,” another says, “how’d it go white?”

           The Battalion share a worried look.

           Everyone waits tensely for the teachers to come back, keeping their voices low as they whisper amongst themselves. The elation of the night has been replaced by an unknown anxiety. But they all feel like, if the teachers just come back and they can begin the ceremony, then everything will be fine.

           Pepito’s leaning against the wall, watching the door from the corner of his eyes, when a chill runs up his spine. He looks up and notices a vent in the ceiling overhead, but the AC isn’t what made him shiver.

           He squints his eyes, trying to see into the darkness between the slats. He feels like something’s there, watching him.

           Long, pale white fingers suddenly slip through the cracks and Pepito flinches with fear.

           He dives forward as the vent grate is thrown down from the ceiling. Everyone looks back at the commotion and watch in horror as a creature lowers itself to the floor.

           It nearly looks human but is just too off. It’s long and rangy with snow white skin that stretches tightly over all of its bones. It’s naked and androgynous with stringy white hair. Its nose is just two thin holes, a couple of rotting fangs hang out of its lipless mouth, and its eyes are just two black dents.

           The kids all stare, stupefied at the creature while it sways before them, seemingly examining them as a wheezing noise escaping its nose holes. Then with a sickening crick, its neck snaps to look at one side of the group. With sudden speed, it rushes towards them, and everyone screams.

           Before it can get close, Zim’s spider legs lunge out and slam into the creature, pressing it against the wall.

           “Everyone, out!” he orders. They all listen immediately and rush out the door.

           The creature scratches and thrashes but is unable to loosen itself from Zim’s grip. It screeches bitterly- a terrible noise that could shatter glass and rakes against Zim’s antennae beneath his wig. He squeezes the side of his head and his PAK appendages go limp, freeing the creature.

           It rushes him and he is unable to react. But before it can attack, Pepito and Squee come around and kick it back. It rolls across the floor and before it can recover, Tak blasts it with her laser arm, reducing it to dust.

           “What the hell was that thing?” Pepito asks.

           “It’s a gorgon,” Dib replies.

           “Gorgon? Like the Greek mythological monster?” Squee questions.

           “Not exactly. They’re monsters that feed off people’s beauty,” he explains, “that’s what happened to Darla. It absorbs everything beautiful off of them, even the colour of their clothes, leaving them a mere husk. It’s not permanent, fortunately, but still not great.”

           “What does it define as beautiful?” Pepito asks.

           “It doesn’t. It goes after those who think themselves as beautiful. Some think the monsters are actually attracted to confidence. They often snack on models or actors. Events like this where everyone is dressed up and looking their best is a buffet for them.”                  

           “A buffet, huh?” Squee muses, “you know, just one person doesn’t attend a buffet.”

           Just as that thought begins to settle in, their attention is grabbed by screaming from the hallway. They look out the door to see the other students scattering as more gorgons emerge from the vents in the ceiling and walls.

           “Oh, shit,” Pepito gasps.

           Three of the creatures screech and lunge at them. The Battalion narrowly dodge and scramble off in different directions.

           Miss Sweeties and Mr. Stutters walk into the room from the auditorium’s door. “The ceremony is about to being,” Miss Sweeties says, “is everyone rea-where is everyone!”

           The two teachers stare with astonishment at the completely empty room.

           The hallways are empty with everyone now sitting in the auditorium, waiting for the graduation ceremony to begin. So nobody is around to see all of the students in a mad, panicked scramble as the gorgons race after them like crazed zombies.

           Squee ducks into a dark classroom, locking the door behind him. He looks up to find that he’s not alone; his classmate, Jessica, had the same idea.

           “What do we do?” she asks frantically.

           “We?” Squee scoffs, “those things won’t be interested in me. I could probably walk out right now and they won’t pay me any mind.”

           “So why don’t you?” she challenges.

           He looks nervously at the door before walking away. “I’ll go through the window.”

           “You’re just going to leave me?” Jessica snaps, “aren’t you and your weirdo friends supposed to be all about helping people or something?”

           “Dib is maybe. As long as I get out alive, that’s all I care about,” Squee replies as he climbs up onto a shelf and opens up a window. “And by the way, if you want someone to help you, you shouldn’t call them weirdos.”

           “Hey, wait!” she barks as he climbs out the window. “I can’t climb up there in this dress! You know how expensive this was? Get back here!”

           He ignores her as he lands on the grass and starts to walk away. Then he hears a crash and Jessica scream. He stands still, frozen with conflict, before groaning and turning back.

           A gorgon has smashed through the classroom door and has Jessica pinned to the floor, its long, sharp fingers wrapped around her torso and arms like a stick. She mewls fearfully beneath it as it leans close, its hot breath on her face.

           Squee flies in, kicking it off of her. It slams into a nearby wall before steadying itself and roaring at him. Squee grabs a yardstick from the teacher’s desk and wields it.

           The gorgon charges. Squee sidesteps it and smashes the yardstick over its head, breaking it in half. The gorgon stumbles to a stop, dazed, before Squee stabs the broken half of the stick through its neck. Dark red blood oozes out of the wound as the creature gurgles and falls dead.

           Squee pants, carefully eyeing the beast before turning to Jessica. “Are you alright?”

           She stares at him, stunned. “You…came back…”

           He looks away awkwardly. “Yeah, well…Dib and Pepito would probably be mad if I left you to die.”

           Jessica starts to stand but winces in pain. Her left bicep was sliced by the gorgon’s claws.

           Squee quickly unties his tie and crouches beside her. “Here, I’ll bind it to stop the bleeding.”

           “Thanks…” Jessica mutters.

           Squee wraps the tie around her wound, tying it tight. Then they stand up.

           “What do we do?” she asks.

           “I don’t know,” he replies, “there’s way too many of them and I don’t even have my weapons. Granny Cammie wouldn’t let me or Nny bring our knives.”

           He grabs his cellphone from his pocket and sends a message in the Battalion group chat.

           Squee: Stuck with Jessica. You all okay?

           Dib: In the boiler room with Zim and some others. Come to me if you can, we’ll plan something.

           Gaz: what the hell is going on

           Dib: Just stay in the auditorium Gaz.

           Squee pockets his phone and picks up the other broken piece of the yardstick. “Okay, we gotta move. It seems quiet now. Stay close to me; the stench of my low self-esteem should mask your confidence.”

           “Is that supposed to be a self-burn?” Jessica asks.

           “It’s not a burn if it’s true,” he replies and they leave the classroom.

           They move cautiously down the hall. Jessica sticks close to Squee’s back, looking around nervously while Squee stares ahead, his ears straining for the slightest sound. All seems quiet at first until they hear a screech.

           “It’s one of them!” Jessica gasps.

           “Come on!” Squee orders and they hurry down the hall. They start to near a right turn when an injured gorgon tumbles out in front of them. It roars defiantly at someone before its head is blasted by black energy.

           “Pepito! Tak!” Squee gasps as the two of them come around the corner, followed by a cluster of terrified students.

           “Oh, hey,” Pepito smiles.

           “We’re just heading to the boiler room,” Squee explains, “Zim and Dib are there.”

           “Yeah, we saw your messages,” Tak replies and motions to the group behind her. “We’re heading there too.”

           “Come on. Everyone hurry and stay together,” Pepito orders.

           The group hurries quickly through the quiet hall to the boiler room. Fortunately they don’t run into anymore monsters, but they can hear them skittering in the vents.

           Pepito knocks on the boiler room door and it opens for them. Everyone scurries into the dimly lit room before the door closes behind them.            

           The rest of the students are cowering in the middle of the floor while Zim and Dib stand guard at the door. Tak, Pepito, and Squee stay with them while the other students all gather together.

           “Is this everyone?” Tak asks, motioning to the group.        

           “I think so,” Dib nods.

           “What do we do?” Pepito asks, “there’s still so many of those monsters hiding in the vents.”

           “They might attack all the innocent people in the auditorium,” Dib adds, “or they’ll come straight for us.”

           “Do we have any way of destroying them all at once?” Zim asks.

           “I’ve got this,” Tak replies as she reaches into her PAK. She pulls out a bowling ball shaped object with metal prongs sticking out of it and a switch. “It’s a bomb I’ve been working on.”

           “I wish I had my bombs,” Squee sighs wistfully.

           “But where are we gonna set it off?” Pepito asks, “we can’t destroy the Skool. I mean, we can. We shouldn’t.”

           “And how are we gonna get all the gorgons together to destroy them at once?” Dib adds.

           Everyone thinks about it for a second before Squee says, “wait, I got an idea.”

           He turns to face the rest of the students and asks, “who here is still feeling beautiful?”

           They all look at each other curiously before a few start raising their hands.

           “I still look good,” Jessica replies, “good thing your tie matches my dress.”

           “Me too,” Pepito agrees, “I look fine as hell.”

           “Good,” Squee nods, “you can all be the bait.”

           Pepito grins eagerly while the other students shrink away.

           “But where are we gonna use the explosive?” Tak asks.

           “Do you guys remember that secret door in the back field?” Squee asks, “the one that leads to the underground classrooms?”

           Tak looks quizzical but Zim, Dib, and Pepito smile with excitement.

           Zim cracks open the door and takes a quick peek into the empty halls. “Okay, we’re good. Let’s move.”

           Zim holds open the door. Squee and Dib take the lead, followed by all of the students, with Pepito and Tak in the rear, and Zim after them. They all hurry through the Skool to the backdoor. In the walls and ceiling, they can hear the gorgons scuttling about.

           “Keep moving,” Pepito orders as he glances back and sees a couple monsters emerging from the vents.

           They safely make it through the backdoor and onto the football field. The sky has long darkened now; their only illumination is coming from the hallway lights and the half-moon.

           The rest of the group stops and watches the Skool with trepidation while Squee goes into the middle of the field.

           “It must be around here,” he muses as he stomps around in the grass. He stops when he hears a hollow tinging and crouches down to dig. Beneath a thin layer of dirt he finds metal. “It’s here!”

           Everyone hurries over. Zim’s spider legs extend from his PAK and dig into the ground until they pierce a metal door and pry them open.

           “What a callback,” Pepito remarks as he looks into the deep, dark pit. Over three years ago, Dib, Pepito, and Squee with a handful of other kids just barely escaped the underground classrooms through this very hole- the Battalion’s very first adventure.

           “How long can you hold them open?” Squee asks Zim.

           “As long as necessary,” he grunts with exertion.

           “Okay, everyone gather around the door. Careful you don’t fall in,” he orders, “everyone feeling pretty, stay at the front near the Skool.”

           The students all gather around the large hole. All of the more confident students face the Skool with Pepito in front. Already a couple of gorgons have begun to emerge from the building.

           “Hold them back, Pepito,” Squee demands, “but don’t kill any of them. We need them all out here.”

           Pepito creates a force field in front of them that the stray gorgons claw against. More and more start exiting the Skool and charge in, crazed and voracious.

           A couple students whimper and cry fearfully as the beasts claw against the shield.

           “Nobody move,” Dib orders, “stick together.”

           “Come on!” Pepito shouts antagonizingly, “who wants a great, big, beautiful feast? Come get it!”

           He digs his feet into the ground as more and more gorgons slam against his force field. Squee peeks around the crowd and doesn’t see any more coming out of the Skool.

           “Okay, now, Pepito!” he orders.

           He blasts the shield, not enough to harm the gorgons, just enough to knock them back. They scramble back onto their feet and charge.

           “Everyone, move!” Squee barks.

           The students all dive out of the way. The gorgons aren’t fast enough to react and they all tumble into the giant hole in front of them. One manages to save itself, digging its fingers into the grass and hanging over the edge. Pepito kicks it in the face, knocking it down.

           “Tak, Zim, now!” Squee orders.

           Tak activates the bomb and drops it after the shrieking beasts. Zim releases his spider legs and the door slams shut right after.

           Everything is tensely quiet for a second. Then the ground trembles with a loud explosion.

           “We did it!” Zim cheers.

           The Battalion whoops victoriously, hugging and coddling each other.

           “Did that really do it?” one of the students asks.

           “Yeah, what if they survived?” another asks.

           “Don’t worry, we’re safe,” Squee replies, “I can tell.”

           The other students argue with uncertainty. Jessica remains quiet, rubbing the tie around her injured arm.

           “Everyone, calm down,” she snaps, “they just saved us, alright? Now don’t we have a graduation to go to?”

           The other students look at her with surprise before muttering with agreement. Jessica glances at Squee and he smiles gratefully.

           In the auditorium, all of the guests and teachers are completely unaware of the danger that just occurred. They’re all just waiting impatiently for the ceremony to begin.

           At the end of one of the rows, Johnny, Devi, and Tenna are sitting next to Cammie in her wheelchair. Devi glances at the time with annoyance. “It was supposed to begin half an hour ago. What’s going on?”

           Gaz is seated elsewhere with her dad, who seems unperturbed by the delay. Gaz on the other hand, is irritated as she glares at her phone and sends multiple unread messages in the Battalion group chat. “What the hell are they doing?”

           On stage behind the closed curtain, Miss Sweeties, Mr. Stutters, and a couple other teachers are arguing about what to do.

           “How do thirty students just disappear all at once?” a teacher snaps.

           “I-I don’t know,” Mr. Stutters replies, “they’re just gone.”

           “Go look for them,” another demands, “we have to find them.”            “Shouldn’t we tell the parents?” Miss Sweeties asks.

           “Not until we know it’s an emergency. For all we know, this was just an elaborate prank.”

           Miss Sweeties and Mr. Stutters sigh and go into the backroom, gasping with surprise when they see all of the students are back and waiting.

           “We doing this or what?” Tak asks.

           The teachers stare at them, stunned.

           A few minutes later, the stage curtain rises and the audience in the auditorium perks up. Miss Sweeties stands at the podium at the front of the stage and speaks into the microphone.

           “My apologies for the delay,” she says, “we had some…technical difficulties. But now, without further ado, the grad class of 20XX.”

           One by one, she presents each student as they step onto the stage to take a seat in the rows of chairs behind her. In the backroom, everyone waits for their turn.

           Pepito unbuttons the collar of Squee’s shirt and straightens it as he fidgets nervously. “I hate this. I’m gonna have to go out there in front of all those people. Maddie had the right idea. I shouldn’t have come.”

           “Oh, it won’t be so bad,” Pepito replies as he finishes. “There. You’re so beautiful.”

           Squee scoffs with amusement then looks over with surprise as Jessica hands him a flask.

           “Here, take a swig,” she says, “for your nerves.”

           He takes it with uncertainty. “What is it?”

           “Vodka and orange juice,” she replies, “don’t make a big deal about it but I get stage fright too.”

           Squee cracks a grin before opening the flask. He takes a quick swig and cringes with disgust. “Ugh. I hate orange juice.”

           Soon all of the students are called onto the stage. Johnny, Devi, Tenna, and Cammie strain to see Squee sitting between Zim and Pepito.

           “Where’s his tie?” Cammie asks.

           Johnny snickers and waves his fingers at Devi. “Told ya he’d take it off before the end of the night.”

           “Even before the ceremony,” she sighs and hands him ten dollars. “I thought he’d tough it out.”

           “Squee never does anything he doesn’t want to do.”

           “And now,” Miss Sweeties says into the mic. “The class valedictorians, Dib Membrane and Kat Irk.”

           “That’s the last name you went with?” Dib whispers with derision as they stand up.

           “Shut up,” she hisses back.

           They both stand at the podium and Dib lays down the speech they wrote in front of them.

           “Thank you for coming, everyone,” Dib says.

           “We are-.” They start to speak at the same time then stop and whisper furiously to each other.

           “I’m supposed to read that,” Dib hisses.

           “It says my name right there,” Tak retorts.

           Behind them, Zim rolls his eyes while Squee chuckles with amusement.

           “I hope this is on video,” Pepito remarks.

           “We are both honoured to be speaking here today,” Tak says.

           “If there’s one thing we can take away from high school, it’s that life is hard,” Dib continues, “I’m sure our teachers would want us to say something about our lessons and the things we learned, but that is what I learned. Life is hard.”

           “It’s an unforgiving competition with yourself and everything around you,” Tak adds, “and like with all competition, sometimes you have to compromise and settle for a tie or even a loss. But other times, you can’t and you shouldn’t.”

           “Never stop striving for what you want, always keep working for your goals, and in the end you’ll receive your victory.”

           “Cause if there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that life can fight hard, but we can fight harder.”

           The audience claps as Dib and Tak step away from the podium and bow.

           “Not bad,” Zim grunts as they sit back down. “I could’ve done better.”

           “Shouting into the mic isn’t a better speech, Zim,” Pepito says and the others laugh.

           The ceremony soon draws to a close and the curtain falls, blocking the stage. The audience leaves and heads out to the parking lot. The students follow shortly and everyone begins making their way home.

           The Battalion are much slower to leave. They sit on the front steps of the Skool, watching as everyone drives away.

           “Hey,” Gaz says as she sits with them. “What the hell happened?”

           “It’s been one helluva night,” Pepito replies.

           “Seems fitting for our graduation,” Tak remarks and the others nod agreeably.

           “I guess this is the last time we’ll all be here at the Skool,” Dib says, “who knows what will happen next.”        

           “The end of a chapter,” Squee muses.

           They all look up at the few stars they can see over the city.

           “I feel like…things are gonna get messy,” he says, “Olivia’s planning something. Plus there’s the Nightmare, always lurking in the shadows. And I doubt we’ve seen the last of the Tallest.”

           “You just gonna list off all of our enemies,” Gaz grunts.

           “Whatever happens, we can handle it,” Zim says. He throws off his bowtie and stands up to face his team. His grin is infectious as is his confidence. “Like Dib and Tak said, we can fight harder.”

[electrozeistyking]

ROYAL BLOOPERS

I occasionally create an AU of an AU where everything's relatively the same.... except that it's like a movie thing and has bloopers. So introducing the Royal Bloopers AU (Royalty AU). Sit back and prepare to look at this nonsense. @melodyofthevoid look what i did

THROUGHOUT THE AU:

- Zib constantly trips on his cape. Gaz and Tak constantly make bets on how many times he's going to trip on that damn thing by the time they're done filming.

They always underestimate just how clumsy Zib is.

- Red and Purple constantly make snarky comments off screen.

- Dib will occasionally abruptly start dancing or make silly faces whilst standing in his "mirror" (it's essentially a small room with a little window and it looks like a mirror; they use special effects for the fading effect).

- Zib looks really dumb without the special effects for his magic. There are some outtakes where he does some goofy poses and pretends to do magic.

BLOOPERS SPECIFICALLY FOR:

A ROYAL DANCE - Dib dropped the glass of water and broke it. They had to clean it up before they could continue with that scene. No one will let him forget that.

- Zim and Dib constantly screwing up the dance scene by tripping over each other.

WHEN I AM DEAD, I'LL JOIN THEIR RANKS (holy shit this title though) - For the scene where Zib held the bird out the window so it could fly off, it wouldn't. Very lazy bird. Didn't feel like flying.

THE CALM BEFORE - The only eventful thing that happened while filming for this one is that Red fell off of Purple's lap.

EVERY DAY ANOTHER LOSS -oh no this one’s blank

SHATTERED TRUST - All we see is Gir walking on screen, standing beside Zib, and lifting one of his legs.

ONE LAST CHANCE - this one’s blank too

DRESS TO IMPRESS - Dib and Zib got stuck in their dresses.

GAZ: "Oh bleep... could we get some help over here?" ZIB: "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? MAKE IT NOT HAPPEN-"

THIS DAY ARIA - "I'll admit I'm not much for superstition, black cats and broken... br-broken... hahaha!"

OUTTAKES:

- There was a kissing scene that didn't make the final cut because Zim was way too giggly.

- Zib standing in Dib's "mirror" at one point in time where Dib's not in it and saying: "Oh bleep, I've trapped myself."

- Dib looked straight at the camera whilst standing in his "mirror" at another point in time and said: "This is my realm, and it is now dance time." He then proceeded to dance like disco's still a thing. (Hey man, when you're trapped in a mirror, you gotta amuse yourself somehow.)

- Zib accidentally fell down while delivering one of his lines, and off screen Gaz could be heard saying: "Watch your footing, Your Highness!"

- Membrane saying "Well bleep" after one of the times Zib trips on his cape. Zib soon got up to whirl around and (doing his best impression of Membrane) say: "FOUL LANGUAGE DETECTED!"

- There is a part where Melody herself can be seen talking with Zim about the end of This Day Aria, but unfortunately the audio cuts out before any juicy details (or spoilers) can be revealed.

- Zim wearing Zib's cape and saying: "I am ZIIIIIIIB!"

- A short outtake in which Dib lightly slaps Zib in the face, and Zib, almost laughing, says: "I trapped you in a mirror, you have permission to do your worst." Though Dib seems a little reluctant (he asks Zib if he's sure), he pulls his hand back, presumably to "do his worse". The last thing we hear in this outtake is Melody, off screen, saying: "Oh my God this is actually happening."

- Tak and Gaz dancing like idiots, and laughing their asses off about it. For some reason. Don't know why.

- An exchange between Zib and Zim that didn't make the final cut, mainly because Zim always starts laughing halfway through the exchange. At one point, sounding as though he's on the verge of tears, Zib announces that "this is the fortieth take" and he can't keep doing this. He then proceeds to exit the scene whilst Zim starts choking on his laughter.

(Zim's just a giggly boy okay-)

COMMENTARY?

Yeah, I went there. Meet the commentary section of Royal Bloopers, but y'know... there's no real commentary. This is more like "What you can probably expect listening to commentary for the Royalty AU".

- It's just Gaz, Dib, Zim, Zib and Melody at the start. Tak shows up on The Calm Before, and Purple shows up for a little bit on Every Day Another Loss.

- Gaz always says a number near the end of each part they're commenting on. Zim, confused over what that means, finally asks about it near the end of This Day Aria. Turns out the number Gaz says at the end of each part is all the times Zib tripped on his cape whilst filming for that part in particular. It also turns out Zib didn't know that Gaz was keeping track.

[rancoeur-the-unfortunate]

Pills (Chapter 29)

(Hello everyone, Rancoeur here. I know it's been a while since I last updated this book and I am truly sorry about that. But it's been so long since I've seen Zim or have even read fanfics about it. So in a way I sorta fell out of love with it. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop updating this though. This book is a monument to how my writing has evolved over the years and is my pride and joy. I will finish it, even if it kills me. It will be awesome and I can't wait for it. Thank you for reading this and please accept this 3300-word chapter as my apology. I know it's a little short and I did want to add more stuff to it but then it just looked bloated and I didn't like that. I hope everyone is staying safe out there. Have a nice day.)

Monday morning, Dib slowly got out of bed and stretched as his alarm clock rang. The boy rubbed his eyes softly before grabbing his glasses from the nightstand and put them on his nose after turning off the said clock. He glanced outside, noticing the dark clouds coming in, and sighed.

"Already looks pretty gross out there," he muttered to himself before he started to get dressed for school.

Honestly, it felt weird to sleep on a bed after sleeping in a tent for a week. Aside from just being comfier it kinda felt... lonely. Like someone was missing.

The boy shook his head as he slid on his coat and began the trek downstairs to greet Gaz and his father. Another rare day of eating with the Professor.

"Hey dad, hey Gaz," he smiled a bit and went to the fridge to grab some juice. When he grabbed what he wanted he pulled back and shut the fridge, only to find his dad right behind him holding a new device to his head. He reeled back in surprise, "dad?!"

His dad smiled at him and waved him off, "no need to worry son, I was just testing out this new invention I'm making on you. Says here your serotonin levels are higher than usual. You must be in a good mood!"

Dib gave his dad a nervous smile and laugh before backing away to the table where his sister was eating with one hand while simultaneously playing her new game with the other.

"Yeah, you haven't mumbled about killing Zim all morning. What's wrong with you?" She spoke between bites of cereal.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just too tired to think about killing Zim," Dib shrugged as he poured himself a bowl.

"That's bull and we both know it. You talk about capturing Zim in your sleep, I can hear it in my room," Gaz tossed a glare his way before going back to her game.

Dib rolled his eyes, "whatever." He muttered as he began eating.

Still, he couldn't help but feel a strange sensation in his chest.

Zim tentatively stepped out of his home. The Dib had told him that the skool children had already forgotten about the drugs, but he still felt fear. Like there were still eyes following him as he marched down the sidewalk. A feeling of uneasiness seemed to wash over him.

Eventually, the blocky, grey building came into view. A few children were loitering about, waiting for the bell to ring. Not wanting to draw attention to himself, Zim just sat on a bench and waited alongside them. Only observing them slightly.

Humans were weird on Mondays, Zim had no idea why though. Something about that particular day of the week seemed to drain all of the energy from the weird meat bags. One kid looked like he was about to fall on his face from exhaustion.

Down the street, he spotted the Dib and his little sister. A part of Zim was fearful. Now that everything had gone relatively back to normal, would Dib go back to trying to expose him?

When the two entered the skool's grounds, they separated. Gaz went to sit on the steps, playing her video game. While  Dib glanced about, when he looked his way, the human... smiled at him.

Causally Dib stepped closer and closer until the two were only a few feet apart. There was a moment of silence between them, both of them just staring at each other. It was obvious they both wanted to say something but neither knew how.

Eventually, Dib sighed and spoke a little quietly, "hey uh... can I sit here?" The boy gestured to the spot on the bench next to Zim.

Zim looked surprised for a moment before he crossed his arms and looked away with his usual snark before quipping a quick, "you may."

Dib chuckled to himself, "same old Zim." He said as he sat down beside the green alien.

With that, the two sat in silence once more, the two of them just looking down at the skoolyard. Humans shuffling about like zombies, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, Zim slumped out of his uptight posture and looked down in his lap, fiddling with his thumbs.

It was Dib who once again broke the silence, "so, what evil plan is it this time?"

Zim looked up at the human in surprise, "eh?"

"You know, to take over the world and all that?" Dib smirked and leaned close, "or did you forget your mission."

Zim immediately perked up and sneered in disgust, "of course not! And to answer your first question. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!" He shouted that last part accidentally as he pointed an accusatory finger at the boy.

Dib just laughed, clutching his stomach as Zim tried to regain his composure. Zim couldn't help but giggle to himself slightly.

"In all seriousness," Zim started once the two had calmed down. "I don't know... I know I have a mission. But at the same time, that mission was given to me by them." Zim found himself glaring at his own hands. He clenched them into fists.

"It feels so strange, to have a purpose one second only to realize that purpose was only given to you to get you out of the way. And now that I see past all their lies I... I don't know. I have no idea what I should be doing, or what my purpose is now or what I'm even still doing on Earth." Zim sighed and closed his eyes, he knew Dib was looking at him, either pitying him or laughing at his distress.

Instead, he felt a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Zim looked up at Dib who was giving him a comforting yet awkward smile before pulling his hand back and sitting properly.

"If we're being truthful right now I guess I'll be straight with you," Dib spoke as he laid back on the bench and looked up at the sky. "The main reason why I wanted to help you was because I was hoping you'd leave once you realized what your mission was." Dib hummed to himself.

"But now that you're off your drugs and ready to leave... I..." Dib paused, "Don't get me wrong, I still hate your guts." He huffed but then frowned, "but the thought of you leaving now... it just doesn't sit well with me." Dib admitted.

"Funny how the one I considered my worst enemy could become someone I might even call my..." Dib paused again and looked at Zim with an emotion ZIm couldn't decern, "friend."

Zim stared at Dib in complete silence, 'friend?' Dib smiled slightly before going back to looking at the cloudy sky.

Three minutes passed before Zim opened his mouth, "Dib I-" Before he could finish the ever-piercing sound of the bell rang, cutting him off. Simultaneously, Zim was both annoyed and grateful for the interruption.

"Well I guess we'll finish this talk some other time," the human spoke grabbed his bag, and got up. "I'll see you later Zim," Dib gave one last smile before waving goodbye and walking away towards the school building.

It was then that it hit Zim, he'd never seen Dib smile so much before. The boy seemed genuinely happy in Zim's company. It felt so strange, a foreign feeling, a feeling he hadn't felt since, "Skoodge."

Suddenly it felt like all the air had left Zim's respiratory organs and he fell to his knees on the ground. Tears were building in his eyes until eventually, the dam broke, and he started sobbing loudly. Trying and failing to gasp for air. His cardiac spooch felt like it was being squeezed like a stress toy. It hurt and Zim was just figuring out why.

All alone in the Skool courtyard, Zim was crying. Crying like a long-forgotten smeet. Eventually, the Irken just laid down on his side curled into a ball. How could he? What was wrong with him?! How could he have hurt Skoodge like that?! His best friend! His partner! His mate!

How could he have hurt someone so close to him, so one who had seen him at both his best and his worst?

The tears wouldn't stop.

Eventually, his thoughts went back to Dib, the human who even despite their mutual hatred for one another still sought to help him. To get him off those horrid drugs and saw him as a... a friend.

Suddenly it felt like time itself had stopped. A friend.

Zim had a friend. Quietly the little alien stood up and whipped his eyes. He found himself staring up at the sky, just as Dib had. The clouds seemed to have gotten darker, it was likely going to rain soon.

He should probably get inside-

A hand came out from behind him and covered his mouth roughly, cutting off his thoughts as he went into a panic. That was before it all went dark.

"So uh... what is it exactly?" Tallest Purple asked a hand on his chin as he inspected the strange being before him, keeping his distance of course.

"A Murthen, my Tallest, female, foot soldier class." The Doctor spoke, his back upright and arms tucked neatly behind his back as he gave a quick bow.

They all stood on the bridge of the Massive. The two Tallest were near the controls while the Doctor and his captive stood at the other end of the bridge. Behind the Doctor stood Skoodge, the little Irken was practically sweating bullets as he clutched Raz's egg. He kept his mouth shut, but every time he even glanced at the Murthen or her collar it felt like another ton of weight was added to his shoulders.

"A Murthen?" Tallest Red gave a confused and disgusted look at the blue figure, "ok...but what's it doing on our ship."

"I believe she will be a great help to our mission to subdue Zim. Despite her lower rank, she is incredibly capable and has experience in both war and combat.

"I mean, so did Tak," Tallest Purple crossed his arms.

The Doctor actually laughed and it was the most haunting thing anyone in the room had ever heard. "Oh, my Tallest, Raz here, is certainly no Tak, trust me."

"I don't even trust the way you just said trust me," Purple muttered in the background as Tallest Red stepped forward.

"Murthen, Murthen where have I heard that name before?" He squinted his eyes at Raz as Tallest Purple stepped behind him, "was it a planet we conquered."

"I assure you my Tallest, Murth most likely will never be claimed," the Doctor hummed.

'He seems so sure of himself,' Skoodge thought.

"Why's that?" Tallest Red asked skeptically.

"This is why," the Doctor spoke as he raised his hand and snapped his fingers.

Before anyone had any idea what was going on, Raz raised her arm, showing a previously concealed weapon. She aimed it at one of the foodservice drones and fired and a blue beam-like laser shot out.

"AHHHHHH!!!" A scream ripped through the room as the service drone fell to the floor, the donuts he was carrying, splattering beside him. He had been shot in the lower abdomen and was clutching his melting chest in a frenzy. He was quite literally melting on the floor. Eventually, he fell silent as he collapsed on the floor, smoke coming off his body.

The two Tallest jumped back in fear, "WHAT IN THE US WAS THAT?!" Purple screamed.

"Show them," The Doctor gestured to the two with his head.

Raz held out the gun, displaying it in front of the two leaders. It was small and compact, not unlike the blasters the Irkens used. This one however was silver with a grey handle, on the sides of the round barrel were tempered glass that displayed a blue liquid.

"This is just a ground soldier-grade weapon. Yet it has the capabilities to destroy Irken armies. It's filled with a chemical compound known as H2O aka water. Due to our solubility when an Irken comes in contact with it, we tend to melt. However, that's not everything. The water is also mixed with a compound only found in Murthen waters, it is known as Gr4F8 aka Blue Gix. Mixed with water it lowers the boiling point to room temperature and creates energy in the form of light and heat. This creates the beam you just witnessed. This gun alone could destroy our entire empire and that's not even half of it." The Doctor nodded toward Raz and she lowered the gun.

"This is the kind of weaponry that can be expected on Murth, that is why we can not conquer it yet. I'm sure with a bit of studying we could find a way to make ourselves immune to this but until then. We'll just have to leave Murth unconquered. At the moment, however, I believe we should get back to the topic of Zim."

"R-right right, Zim," Tallest Red stuttered, trying to keep his composer. "Are you sure she's fit for the job?"

"Oh my Tallest, you have no idea," the Doctor smiled that irksome smile of his.

"Zim won't know what hit him."

The rest of the discussion seemed to fade out for Skoodge as he stared, wide-eyed at the dead Irken before him. He had just been shot, no warning, no nothing. He was just doing his job and he was shot and then forgotten about. Like his life meant nothing.

Already some of the cleaning drones had come over, collecting the body to be disposed of. Most likely going to be tossed out of the airlock like trash.

Skoodge looked to the egg in his hands, little Mur. Every time he looked at her he just felt more and more guilty. Her carrier was being controlled against her will and he was the cause of it.

Now he had to carry her around, an actual burden on his shoulders.

"Alright then, I guess it's settled, we'll be leaving the quadrant in a few hours to start heading for Earth," Tallest Red's voice cut into Skoodges thoughts and he felt panic run through him, that means they'll be leaving Murth and Raz's family.

Before Skoodge had a chance to voice his concerns, the Doctor was already leaving with Raz in tow.

Quickly Skoodge ran after them, once they were out of the bridge and in one of the Massive's many hallways he spoke up, "Doctor! What about the egg! There's no water on the ship!"

"Your pretty good at stating the obvious," the doctor hummed, not even bothering to look at him.

"B-but-"

"Look Skoodge, I already told you. If you want the egg, you can keep it. But that makes it your problem, not mine," the Doctor growled, getting agitated by the shorter Irken's nagging.

"But Doctor!"

Suddenly the Doctor spun around and pointed glaringly at him, "no! I'm tired of hearing your squeaky insignificant voice!" He shouted, "one more word out of you and I'll reveal the secret about your lack of pills to the Tallest!"

At first, Skoodge was terrified but one look at the child, strapped to his chest and he was quick to shoot a glare of his own. "And reveal yourself?! Fat chance!"

"Oh please! you don't think I don't already have the Tallest under my thumb?!"

Skoodge paused and stared up at the Doctor wide-eyed, "what?"

"You heard me, I've had them on my drugs since day one! I have nothing to fear from them. Just like I have nothing to fear from you! You short, intolerable, idiotic, service drone!" The Doctor raised his hand to smack Skoodge only to collapse to his knee in pain. He grimaced and gripped his right leg in pain, a new bump already showing through his pants.

"Damn it!" He snarled and began to roll up his pant leg, showing the ugly lump on his calf. To even the Doctor's horror, it seemed to be splitting off into two.

"Damn things are getting worse," he muttered to himself and looked to Skoodge expectantly.

Almost on instinct, Skoodge pulled out 4 syringes from his pac only to pause before approaching.

"What the hell are you doing, help me!" The taller Irken demanded.

"No! I will do no such thing until we return Raz and her egg back home!" Skoodge demanded himself.

"And ruin your chances of taking over the control brains and getting Zim back?" The Doctor sneered, gripping his leg tighter now.

"The ends don't justify the means, Doctor!" Skoodge snarled.

"Fine," the Doctor stammered out, already looking out of breath from the pain. "W-with friends like you, who needs enemies," he growled and snapped his fingers, and Raz, who had been standing beside him stoically this whole time, tackled Skoodge.

The scariest part wasn't those sharp webbed fingers, or those strong four arms, no it was those cold eyes. Raz looked completely dead on the inside like she was just a body heading the commands of something that wasn't her. It was terrifying.

She was quick and strong as he pinned his arms and legs down before grabbing the needles from his hands and kicking him away once she got what she was after. Not even bothering to be careful about her egg, thankfully Skoodge used his own body as a shield for the fragile thing.

After that, she knelt before the Doctor and began to siphon out more of that green stuff from the lumps. She managed to get one of the lumps to go down but it seemed the remaining two syringes weren't enough to lessen the larger one. Only reduce it, as Raz got up to get more from Skoodge she was stopped by the Doctor standing up.

"Leave it, this will do for now," he hissed as he pulled his pant leg back down, hiding the bump. "And you," the Doctor glared at Skoodge.

"You're lucky I'm far too busy right now to deal with you. I do however have this to say,"  he looked down on Skoodge the lighting making him look absolutely terrifying. "If you pull that again, I'll make you watch as I dissect that egg." With that threat, the Doctor turned around and left Skoodge on the floor, Raz following obediently behind him.

Skoodge felt sick to his stomach like he was about to throw up. He clutched the egg tightly, trying desperately not to cry. How was he supposed to go on? He needed to save Zim, but at the same time, just the thought of abandoning Mur and Raz left Skoodge feeling sick.

"Oh, what do I do," Skoodge held up the egg, staring at the little Murthen inside as if she could give him an answer. What worried Skoodge was just how developed she was now. Her four arms had all formed and little pink and purple spots decorated her body, soon to make the pattern of one or both of her parents. Her eyes were slightly open now too. Revealing dark purple eyes.

"Oh Mur, you're going to hatch soon aren't you?" Tears started to form in Skoodge's eyes, "and your carrier won't even be there to witness it." Skoodge covered his mouth with one hand as he scooted to press his back against the wall in revelation, "and it's all my fault."

"I'm a monster," he whispered in horror. Just as he was about to break down, crying. Skoodge felt a shift in the egg and looked down at the little Murthlet inside. She had moved her hands from the clutched position they had before to the shell of the egg. She had just placed all four of them there and it completely mesmerized Skoodge. Four little blue hands with little webbing in between, even tiny little claws on each finger.

Skoodge felt a small blush form on his face in surprise before a small smile crept onto it as well. He placed his forehead on the shell, ignoring the slight burning sensation it caused, and smiled.

"I know I've hurt you and your family. But I swear on my life, I'll keep you safe, I promise."

[nota-deviant]

Chapter 1

Dib sighed as he looked down at the shiny bar he had just wiped clean. Another day another..well..day. nothing much happened in his town, nothing that he had been able to look for at least. Dib basically lived in his bar, working under his father who was barely ever there and always working on new drinks to 'help people' or he's made up something and grew too sick to even come and bartend in his own saloon. 

He set the raggedy old cloth down onto the table and grumbled, resting his head on his hand before quickly sitting up when the first people started coming in. The saloon usually was filled to the brim with gruff looking men trying to act tough and gambling all their money away in games of poker, Dib was the only one that stood out. He was tall and lanky, having not grown any hair on his face and instead having Carmel colored freckles splattered around. He was in his mid 20s and felt like he was wasting his life away, serving drinks and every once and awhile hooking up with a guy or gal for the night. Today had seemed like a slow one, what Dib wasn't prepared for was the sight of a short yet bulky looking creature walking in. He said nothing, glancing up from his spot sorting drinks and could make out dark green skin in the room with splotches of lighter green on his face..like Dibs own freckles. He looked quickly back down again when more people walked in, standing when he heard the squeak of the cushioned barstool Inferno of him. He was going to have to oil that later.

Dib stood and suddenly he had made eye contact with the creature, long locks of black hair reaching down to his chin and wearing, atleast what Dib thought, a hideous magenta vest with a dark grey dress shirt underneath.

"How may I help you?"

Dib asked casually, keeping eye contact with the other and examining the brief sight of sharp teeth when the other spoke

"A shot of whiskey- actually make it a bottle, today has been rough"

Dib chuckled and crouched down, grabbing a bottle and speaking

"The day has just started, you must be a busy man"

"You could say that"

Dib cracked a smile at the vague comment, crouching down to grab bottles and letting hid mind race. It was quite boring where he worked besides some bar fights here and there, so Dib took this as an opportunity to solve a mystery and maybe put some excitement into his life. The man stood back up and set down the green glass bottle in front of the stranger, leaning against the counter as they grabbed it and popped open the top

"So stranger, I've never seen you before"

Dib took note of stray people walking in and immediately walking out after seeing the green skinned weirdo

"I tend to keep a low profile, but I'm sure you've heard my name before"

They said, holding out the bottle in a majestic pose

"Mmmm...jog my memory would you?"

Dib couldn't help but hold in a chuckled at the disappointed look on the others face

"I'll have you know that I'm one of the most well known Mafia bosses around"

That sparked Dibs memory

"Well that seemed to get a reaction out of you"

Zim grinned and took another chug of his bottle, staring at Dibs dumbfounded face in amusement

"Zim Ira? In my bar?"

Dib laughed and held his head. It wasn't exactly a mystery he could solve but it was good enough

"You've got to be kidding me"

"I'm not!-"

"I mean I knew people admired his work but to go this far?"

"Would you shut up!-"

"The ugly suit too"

Dib was about to comment again but stopped at the sound of glass breaking, whiskey spilling on the floor and the scarce people in the room looking over to the bar

"I told you to shut up boy"

A broken glass bottle was held up to Dibs face, the broken glass tip barely touching his nose as Zim glared at him

"Now get me another whiskey bottle before I get it myself and use your skull as a cup"

Dib nodded timidly and picked up another bottle, setting it down and getting the cap thrown at his glasses. They hung off his nose for a second before being pushed back up

"You-"

"Don't talk human, I don't want to be burdened by your pathetic noises"

Dib shut up and looked to the side, trying to bring his focus onto something..literally anything. He soon brought his eyes back to Zim. The man was about average height, maybe a little taller. He could see the freckles on his skin more clearly now and noticed that they weren’t just one shade of green but different shades both darker and lighter than his base shade. His hair was shiny and looked unnaturally oily, a wig perhaps? That left Dib to wonder what was underneath it. A bare head? Antenna? Horns?

"Quit your staring"

Dib was snapped out of his thoughts and looked back to Zims eyes. They were a light yellow with a light shade of pink underneath. The iris was a purple color..unique for anyone and something he hadn't seen before

"Oh uh...sorry"

Dib apologized, averting his eyes and looking down at the bar. He'd clean it if it weren't for the fact he could already see his reflection in the mahogany surface. What was he supposed to do now?

"Listen this is my bar and you're-"

A finger pressed against Dibs lips, a clawed one he noted, and he grumbled. Zim was about to say something but the doors opened and a high voice squealed

"Zim!"

A silver haird boy looking to be about 12 to 14 ran over and hugged the man

"Gir! You're not allowed to be in here!"

Zim pushed the boy away but they only persisted. Their clothing looked about the same as the Mafia bosses except the vest was a silver instead of a ugly dark magenta

"Oh is this your brother?"

Dib teased, Zim hissing and picking up the boy

"Go stand outside Gir now"

"But Tak said she wanted to see you!"

Dib took note of how Zik froze and composed himself, clearing his throat and narrowing his eyes at Dib

"Put it on a tab"

He ordered before taking the younger hand gently and walking him out of the bar

(I've never wrote something completely on my own before so be nice to me please🤲)

[rllymilerlly]

49 and 50 with whatever you want!

Writing prompts

“Im too sober for this”/ “Oh god, I need a drink”

I got a lil carried away with this and DIDNT know how to end it because I just wanted to keep going and still do so I’m sorry.

For some context this set in my lil college au that I use for most of my stuff with them u_u

————

Gaz would say she was used to Zim and Dibs quirks. After knowing Dib all her life and Zim for over half she has had to adapt to the wacky shit they put her through. And when Dib and Zim decided to get an apartment together in college, she knew she was going to have to always mentally prepare herself for whatever hellscape awaits her inside when she came over.

However, one day after an extremely long art critique in class, all she wanted was to come over to their place and complain about it. They’d comfort her in their own unique ways, make her feel like not a complete failure like her professor did. Maybe they’d even take her out for some pizza as compensation for her shitty day. She was so caught up in her own frustrations, she didn’t mentally prep for the sights she could possibly see. So, when she entered the apartment she wasn’t ready to witness her boyfriend in his high school prom dress doing some sort of weird shimmy with her brother in front of the TV with “Promiscuous” blasting from the speakers.

“I’m too sober for this,” was all she could say at the sight. The boys both turned at the sound of her voice.

“Oh, hey Gaz!” they said simultaneously, flashing a smile, before immediately turning their eyes back to the screen.

“What the hell are you guys even doing?” Gaz asked as she started heading to their kitchen. Honestly, she has walked in on crazier shit. This wouldn’t even come close to breaking the top 20 list. But after the long mid term week she’s had, she was just hoping for a semi-normal night. Though, she should’ve known that was going to be a lost cause with these two. Maybe she should have just called Zita or someone instead of coming here.

“-and then of course Zim took that as a personal challenge. And now we have been playing Just Dance for the past 3 hours.” Dib rambled on slightly out of breath, not realizing his sister wasn’t fully paying attention.

“Hey! Watch your arms, space bug!” He yelled as Zim slid in front him almost hitting his face.

“Wouldn’t have to if you were paying attention Dib-Shit” Zim mocked.

“Zim why are you in your old prom outfit?” Gaz asked before Dib could retaliate. Zim’s antennae perked up at her voice.

“I put it on to coordinate with the first simulation. But Dib refused to let me change again in an attempt to hinder my MAXIMUM performance,” he started to laugh, “A foolish move on his part. I’ve been kicking his ass in heels since he was a smeet.”

“Oh my God, no. That is not why. I just didn’t want to wait forever for you to change in between every song. Matching with the characters doesn’t ACTUALLY help improve your score, moron.”

“Psh of course you think that, human” Zim rolled his eyes as he dramatically paused. “WHAT?! Zim totally hit that move! See Dib your stupid box can’t recognize Zim’s body movements perfectly because my attire is not accurate! The scores are going to be all off!“

“Oh my God, I need a drink.” Dib sighed ignoring Zim’s theatrics. He glanced over at his sister, who was pouring herself a shot. “Hey Gaz think you can pour me one too?”

“You mean to tell me you’ve been dancing for 3 hours sober?” She questioned as she poured him a glass.

“Bleh I don’t see how humans can drink that filth,” Zim gagged.

“Says the alien that eats nothing but pure sugar” Dib replied as he walked away from the game.

“Hey! The songs not finished ye-“

“You win, space lizard, congrats” Dib interrupted.

“Well of course I did!” Zim gloated, satisfied with his victory. He joined the Membranes in their tiny semi-messy (thanks Gir) kitchen.

“Hello Gus,” Zim said as he gave her a swift peck on the cheek, following more of his typical “normal partner” welcoming routine now that he could give her his full attention. Gaz smiled slightly at the dumb nickname.

“Hi Zim” she replied. She handed Dib a shot. They clinked their glasses and downed them.

“I’m sorry you had to witness us dancing,” Dib said, wiping his mouth.

“I’m not! I’m a great dancer!” Zim said. He gloved up his hands to start tidying up the mess Gir left.

“Oh hey! How was your critique today?” Dib asked, ignoring his roommate.

Gaz sighed, “I’m going to need another drink first.”

[zims-left-shoe]

Hi, I love your works. I was wondering if I could request a Zim x fem during the tak the hideous new girl episode. Maybe she gets jealous and tries to explain the toxicity of the relationship and just gets so frustrated with Zim that she ends up confessing her feelings to him? Thank you!

Thank you so much! This one was a lot of fun, and I had a lot of things I wanted to do so it’s kind of long and skipped around a few times. I still hope it’s coherent lmao. I honestly really enjoy writing Zim fanfic because his personality is so fun to write for.

For a Monday morning, the energy in the classroom was off the walls. It may have been suppressed to the best of everyone's ability, but anticipation was bubbling to the surface. As you glanced around, several feet were tapping beneath the desks uncontrollably, eyes darting from backpacks that smelled vaguely of meat to the looming figure of Ms. Bitters, who looked bothered to be there--something that wasn't unusual. One kid in the back was even vibrating and frothing at the mouth. The only ones who seemed calm were Zim and Dib; a strange occurrence in its own right, usually those two were the ones causing mayhem. You suspected why. After all, this holiday was never kind to the social outcasts. Best for them not to get excited at all, it's just another day.

Your eyes rested on Zim in particular, lingering there. This tended to happen often, even from the start. How could you not stare at him? When a bizarre green kid shows up out of nowhere and yells a lot, what else are you to do? You had approached him several times before, eating lunch with him on occasion. Zim was definitely weird, but you found yourself liking that about him. Maybe he had piqued your interest purely because he was new. You had been surrounded by the rest of your peers since practically diapers, and fresh faces didn't come around very often. Either way, as much as you didn't want to admit it, you had developed a bit of a crush on him. The combination of his flamboyant attitude and his offbeat personality was just so enticing. 

The phone rang, and you could practically feel the collective breath the class sucked in. Moving in an almost supernatural manner, Ms. Bitters went to answer it. Her eye twitched as she held the receiver to her ear.

"No...no. No!" Her voice came out in a hiss, eyes narrowed to slits behind her glasses. "You'll pay for this one." Angrily hanging up the phone, she turned to address the class, paying no attention to the phone that was being consumed by flames. "Class, despite my moral outrage, the principal is allowing you to celebrate Valentine's Day this year."

Those were the only words needed for the classroom to figuratively errupt like a shaken can of soda. Your peers went wild, cheers close to manic screams sounding as kids dumped their bags out on the desks, meat slabs tumbling out. Again, the only two students not excited were Dib and Zim. Dib wore an expression of irritation, just wishing to get the day over with. Zim on the other hand seemed to be completely confused. His eyes flickered from student to student, watching in disgusted fascination as the meat continued to fall from bags as the kids all had dopey grins plastered on their faces.

"Go ahead. Pass out your Valentine's meat slabs. It's traditional." As if on cue, everyone stood up at once, taking their meat to desks all around the room, full of glee. You had never been the biggest fan of Valentine's Day, but you had decidedly been looking forward to the holiday this year. You thought that maybe this would be the day you could drop some hints to Zim and gauge his reaction. Fishing out the special meat slab you had saved and card you made for him, you stood up, pacing over to his desk. There was already a girl there so you stood back a ways, watching the exchange unfold.

The girl gestured the tray she held in her hands forward, offering the neatly arranged heart shaped mini meat slabs. Rather than take it, Zim pushed himself as far back as his chair would allow, his fingers curling against the desk. 

"I-I left my meat at home. Sorry, I sort of forgot it, uh..." Teeth gritted, his panicked gaze surveyed the classroom to see if the majority had their eyes on him. They didn't; they were much too occupied with their own valentines to pay Zim's antics any mind. Regardless of Zim's clear discomfort, the girl laid the meat on his desk with a smile on her face. "Get that out of my face!" He screamed, violently shoving the meat from his desk and into the poor girl's face. He swiped at the air in front of his face as if trying to defend himself from an attacker. The girl scoffed in annoyance, picking up her meat and walking away, grumbling about how he should have felt lucky to receive anything at all.

The slab of meat you held felt heavy in your hands in that moment. He clearly was not into the whole Valentine's meat slab thing.

Possibly a cultural difference? You thought to yourself, grip tightening on the meat. You only wished to give him something he would like, and maybe in turn, he would like you. But what to do with the meat? Turning around, you saw Ms. Bitters hunched over her desk, looking absolutely miserable. That'll do...

You scuttled over to her desk, gently placing the meat slab down.

"What do you want?" Her voice may have been as grating as nails on a chalkboard, but you had learned to never show fear around her.

"Er, happy Valentine's Day!" 

"Tch. Go socialize with your other hopeless peers before you lose the privilege." Nodding, you slowly backed away. You had gotten rid of the meat, so it was a win for you. To your delight, Zim's desk was empty. His eyes continued to dart around the room, staying vigilant in case some other student came bearing horrible meaty gifts. Letting out one final determined breath, you strode right up to his desk, waving slightly. 

"I said I do not want your vile meats!" He hissed, clawing the air once more. 

"I don't have meat, Zim. It's okay." A giggle fell from your lips as you presented your card. "I hope a card is okay?" He eyed the paper suspiciously as you slid it across his desk.

"Zim has nothing for you, Y/n." Regardless of his concerns, he took the card in his hands. 

"That's fine." With one last distrusting look, he opened the card and began to read. It was a homemade card, something you had spent quite a bit of time on the night before. Doodles in marker were scribbled across the front, and the inside held words about how you thought he was worth hanging around despite everyone shunning him because of being a freak. There was also a decent drawing of him playfighting Dib and winning, which you thought he'd like.

"Oh. This is...um. Wow." Zim seemed to not grasp the meaning of the card. Either that, or this was his way of telling you he wasn't interested. You weren't sure which was more hurtful.

"Sorry, I...just forget about it." Suddenly your shoes became the most interesting thing you had seen in years. However, Zim guessed that he had made a mistake of some kind.

"No! I like it! It is a gift worthy of Zim!! I especially like the part where I beat the Dib." His face was split by a massive grin, and you assumed this was his unorthodox way of thanking you for it. "I thought it would explode or something." You laughed, however, he did not. Apparently he wasn't joking. Another reason you liked him. He was just so unabashedly strange--it was a great break from the norm. 

You hadn't noticed Ms. Bitters take another phone call until after she had hung up, turning back to the class. "Everyone! Sit down!"

"But-" The class began to whine, not finished handing out their meaty treats.

"Now!" The old witch snapped, sending you dragging your feet back to your desk. Zim's eyes were on you the whole time, still trying to figure out why you would give him such a thing, especially without something in return. He didn't have much time to give it deep thought though, as the class erupted in whispers at the humongous jet that had just landed outside the window. You couldn't help but wonder just what was going on. Before you could even begin to delve into that train of thought, a girl wandered into the classroom, sharp purple eyes surveying the room. "To celebrate over crowding in Skool, a new student will be joining us." Ms. Bitters gestured to the girl standing at the front of the room. Her hands were folded behind her black striped dress as she smiled. Despite her seemingly pleasant attitude, something about her just rubbed you the wrong way. There was something off, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"Hi! My name's Tak. I'm new here."

"Hello, Tak." You joined in with the monotone mumbling of the class, however your words came out in a grumble. 

"My father's the head of the DEE-Licious Weenie corporation. So I brought Valentine's weenies for everyone!" With a wave of her hand, weenies rained down from nowhere that you could see. Almost everyone around you cheered wildly, already thrilled to have Tak as a part of the student body. Just when you were thinking she wasn't so bad, she spoke again. "Except for that kid!" She jumped on top of Ms. Bitters' desk, combat boots bringing a heavy thud. Pointing a finger at Zim, a maniacal smirk was ever present on her face. Whipping your head towards him revealed him to be completely uninterested.

"Weenies, schmeenies! Zim needs no meat!" He waved his hand, leaning back in his chair, a bored expression settling on his features.

Tak ignored his comment, continuing on. "For him, I have prepared a poem." Your eyebrow quirked up, you definitely weren't liking where this was going. She cleared her throat, about to begin, only to be interrupted by Sara.

"Looks like Zim has a girrrlfrieeennnnd!" Her voice was taunting, and although the comment was meant to be just a tease, you felt as if your heart skipped a beat. Your skin prickled as Tak ripped up the paper in her hands, rounding on Sara.

"It's not nice to embarrass people! You should apologize, and, um, eat your eraser!" Zim looked utterly terrified, sinking down so far into his seat that only his eyes were barely visible above the desk. To your shock and amazement, Sara actually proceeded to eat her eraser, even apologizing to both Tak and Zim. Things had officially safely crossed into 'what the fuck' world. You peered at Dib, the usual skeptic and gave him a 'you seeing this shit?' look, hoping he would concur. He seemed fine with what was happening, which was the most concerning part of the whole ordeal.

This is officially the weirdest day I have ever experienced...and it's only nine in the morning... You rested your chin in your hands, worried for whatever was about to happen.

"For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you. Someone with a head like yours, and a torso too. Birds sing, and you're gonna PAY, the end! Now, here's some meat covered in barbeque sauce!" Tak cackled as she tossed a rack of ribs dripping in barbeque sauce into Zim's face. A horrible shriek of pain tore itself from his throat, and you turned your attention back to Tak. Not only were you irritated that she read Zim a poem, the ending was not normal, and seemed to hide very violent intentions. Something was off. It felt almost as if she had history with Zim.

"Thank you, Tak. That was horrible." Ms. Bitters made room for her to take a seat, sending someone to the supposed 'underground classrooms'. Meanwhile, Zim's face looked as if he had been hit with a scalding hot waffle iron rather than a rack of ribs. His mouth twitched in pain as his fingers dug into the desktop, jaw clenched. The bell rang afterwards, sending kids out faster than the speed of light. You wandered over to Zim, following him out and into the hall. He still grasped at his face, which looked horrible. 

"You okay?"

"Why does it hurt?!" He spoke through gritted teeth, and you sucked in a breath, taking that as a solid no. 

"So...you and Tak. Do you know each other?" You decided to just come right out with it. Might as well.

"No, of course not! I have no idea who she is!" 

"Really? Cause she seemed to know you. People don't just read poems to strangers. And she kind of seemed like she wanted to hurt you, Zim."

"Don't be silly! She seemed to like me. After all, meat is a sign of, what is it...love? Love, right? She's obviously madly in love with me." He grumbled, unhappy about the situation he was in.

"I don't think that's-" He paid no attention to your reasoning, keeping his head down in thought.

"That's it!" His eyes lit up, turning to face you.

"What's it...?" There seemed to be a joke you were missing out on or something. 

"If it's affection she wants..." The word 'affection' didn't roll of his tongue very easy, rather he spat it out as if it were rat poison. "...then it is affection she shall get." Feeling your breath catch in your throat, your heels planted into the floor, sending you into a dead stop.

"What? You can't be serious!" 

"Zim must go! Goodbye, Y/n!" The sound of his heeled boots clicking across the tile further announced his leave as he ran out of the building. This wasn't unusual, he would leave school at odd hours despite school not being over, or sometimes he wouldn't show up at all. 

"Geez, if all I needed to do to get his attention was write a vaguely threatening poem and attack him with meat, I would have done that a long time ago." You muttered while you angrily shuffled to your next class, already hating where the next few days would take you.

-

So far, the day had been going better than you had hoped. After yesterday, you had been waiting for something to happen. During class, whenever Zim would look to Tak, he would laugh under his breath. Apparently you had missed the joke, and so had everyone else. It was concerning at best, and so when the recess bell rang, you took it upon yourself to wander outside, following Zim at an inconspicuous distance. You doubted he would have cared if you were right on his tail, but you had no desire to step in unless absolutely necessary. Of course he had ended up by Tak. She was sitting upon a concrete ledge next to Dib, most likely discussing the possibility of Zim being an alien. 

You exhaled a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding when Zim forcefully shoved Dib off the ledge and into the brambles, hopping up to take his place next to Tak. You knew something was bound to happen, it was just a matter of when. It seemed that time had finally come.

"I have come to accept your feelings for me, I congratulate you for acknowledging my superiority in choosing me as your lovepig. Feel honored!"

"Lovepig…?" You murmured, watching the scene unfold. Yet again, Zim had surprised you. Just the morning before, he had found the idea of Tak being his girlfriend utterly repulsive. Now, he was accepting the offer? Maybe? There had to be a reason. There was always an angle he was playing, but you had to say, this time you were at a loss for what it could be. 

Silence ensued between the two, the only noise being the surrounding din of playing children and birds chirping happy melodies. Without a single word, Tak brought out a bottle of barbeque sauce from seemingly nowhere, squirting Zim with its contents. Almost immediately he screamed, the sound so hideously harsh that it sent all birds within the school yard frantically flying. Zim fell off the ledge and onto the asphalt, rolling around as if he were on fire. Tak cackled, tossing the bottle aside. 

It was incredibly obvious to you that she derived enjoyment from his pain and misery, and you hoped that Zim could see it too. This was the second time this has occurred, he had to understand now, right? 

Pushing himself off the ground, he stood up, brushing dirt and barbeque sauce off of his pink dress. You thought he would be furious, but it seemed that Zim was full of surprises this day. Rather, he spoke calmly for probably the third time in his life. "Now prepare your brain, filthy beast of meat and hair." He grabbed Tak's waist, lifting her from the ledge and setting her down next to him. "Your magical love adventure begins now!"

"Idiot!" You slapped your palms to your face, watching the scene play out in disbelieving horror. Was he genuinely stupid or just a masochist? Tak didn't seem bothered, laughing insanely, Zim joining in. They laughed until Tak took a nearby trashcan, shoving it over his head and kicking him away. You cringed as Dib had crawled out of the bushes, joining in Tak's joy with a smile on his face. 

-

That had been the first incident of that day. There had been many, many more to follow. You had decided to follow Zim and Tak to keep an eye on things, as it was clear that Zim could not handle himself. As you had expected, more pain-based loving ensued. What exactly had went down? Well-

"-he had offered her a muffin, and what does she do? She squirts him with juice and he screeches on the floor like a madman! Oh, then he gifted her a slab of meat in her locker, and she threw him out of skool screaming with the meat tied to his head." Your voice had a growl to it, and was getting progressively more agitated at higher volumes. You slammed your locker closed, the sound so jarring that several students in the surrounding area turned their heads in your direction. 

"I literally have no idea who you're talking about. I'm not even in your grade!" A very frightened looking boy stared back at you incredulously, thinking you to be crazy. The poor kid had just been trying to access the locker beneath yours, but you had pulled him into a very one-sided conversation.

However, you took no notice of his comments, continuing on with your rant. "But there's more! He gave her a gift, but she shoved it over his head. Let's see, she also sicced an attack dog on him when he was trying to give her flowers. He's being so genuinely nice to her, carrying her books and all that! And she just treats him like garbage!" Throwing your hands in the air, you let out a frustrated huff. "She doesn't deserve his affection at all!"

"Yeah, uh...can I get into my locker now so I can go to lunch?" Once again, his words went in one ear and right out the other with you. The only one that stuck was 'lunch'.

"Lunch...that's it! I should try and talk to him! Thank you, Keith!"

"My name's Kevin." He sighed as you ran off towards the cafeteria. Throwing open the double doors, your eyes rested on Zim, who stood at the end of the lunch line looking worse for wear. He was covered in bruises, one eye was swollen, and his skin even seemed to smoldering. His clothes were tattered and dirty from the fresh hell that Tak had been forcing him to endure. He slouched, looking miserable as can be. 

"Zim, hey." You approached him, taking your place in line behind him. He instantly straightened up, wincing in pain as he did so, clutching a hand to his side while murmuring something about his organs rupturing.

"Y/n, what brings you here?"

"Lunch?"

"Ah, yes. That." One of his eyes twitched involuntarily, and you couldn't procrastinate on your true intent any longer.

"I'm worried about you, you know." Your voice was quiet, and you wouldn't mask your concern for him. You wanted him to know that you wished the best for him, and that Tak did not fit that bill.

"Zim is fine." The line moved forward and you both grabbed trays, but you wouldn't let go of your point.

"Zim is not fine. Tak is hurting you, Zim. She's going to do some real damage to you, either physically or mentally. Although by your appearance, it seems that she's already accomplished that."        

"Nonsense! In fact, Zim has never felt better." He grinned as if to prove everything was okay despite all of the evidence that told otherwise. 

"How she's treating you is wrong." He hummed a response, turning away from you as the lunch ladies glopped mush onto his tray. "I'm serious, Zim. She's a psychopath and it's not okay. At all. I'm saying this as your friend."

Without even sparing you a second glance over his shoulder, he spoke with his back turned to you. "Everything is perfectly normal and under control." And with that he walked over to the table Tak was sitting at, leaving you standing there. Was he seriously just going to brush you off like that? 

Dejectedly taking your tray to your own table, you watched--disappointed but not surprised--as Tak dumped both her own and his tray of food onto his head. His face scrunched in pain as if he were being burned, but he didn't yelp this time; he lacked the energy. It hurt to watch, really. Wiping the barely edible food from his face, he stood up on the table, pulling Tak up with him and grabbing her hand.

"Everyone, this is my girlfriend, Tak!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, ensuring that every student in the room heard him. Tak responded by pushing him off of the table and onto the ground, chuckling to herself afterward. Your grip on the table tightened; that was the final straw. Were you jealous? Sure. But most of all, you were more distressed with the situation. You genuinely cared for him, and you wanted to see him in a happy and healthy relationship, not one that was constant pain and misery. Much to your dismay, he still was unable to grasp the toxicity of his relationship with Tak. 

-

It had been a long day for everyone. Especially Zim. When you had stepped into the courtyard after school, you saw him slowly dragging his feet. He looked like he had been beaten halfway to hell, somehow worse than when you had talked to him at lunch. In fact, you weren't even sure if he was human or a reanimated corpse (in reality, he was neither). Curling your hands into fists, you marched right up to Zim. If it was only day one of being with Tak and he already looked this bad, you weren't sure how much longer he could survive. It was clear that he was in desperate need of an intervention. Reaching your hand out, you laid it on his shoulder, feeling him flinch beneath your touch while he squeaked out a cry.

"Oh. It's just you, girl-thing." He seemed to relax, exhaling a long breath. Perhaps he thought you were Tak. 

"We need to talk." Zim looked tired, staying put, which you hadn't entirely expected. "You need to break up with Tak. Whatever your plan was, it's a bad idea." That statement seemed to set him off. Not necessarily because he was in love with Tak, more so that he was overly defensive of his plans. 

"It's fine! It's a perfectly normal pain-based human relationship." He waved your words off with his hand, yet again tossing your concern to the side. Whether he was just harmfully self-absorbed or truly a masochistic idiot would go undecided. Either way, red hot anger sizzled beneath your skin. How could he be so nonchalant about this mess?

"See, the thing is, relationships aren't supposed to be pain-based, you moron! Your whole dynamic is toxic, she's literally abusing you! Why can't you see that?" 

"Zim is not a moron!" Crossing his arms, he turned his head away from you and stuck his chin in the air, quite similar to a small child pouting. "Besides, everything is going completely to plan!"

"Really? Because your skin is smoldering! Was that part of the plan, Zim?" With each comment, your volume increased, to the point where you were both screeching at the top of your lungs, despite standing right beside each other. 

"It's a fashion statement!" He rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at you. 

"You are so infuriating sometimes, you know that?!" Your voice thick with exasperation, you stomped your foot on the concrete, internally grateful that no one had stuck around after school to see you two arguing like little children, especially over something so important. You blinked back a few tears that were rising due to frustration and anger, Zim drawing back slightly at the sight. 

"Even if it is as bad as you say, why do you care? It's not your business." Although his voice was more hushed than before, his words were still quite cold. You were at your breaking point, and the floodgate couldn't hold back your emotions any longer.

"Because I like you, Zim! Like, like-like you!" Drawing in a deep breath, you prepared yourself for your rant. There was no turning back now, what's done has been done, those fated words had been said. "I don't care how different you are. You're weird, yes, but weird can be good. You may not think so, but even you deserve a functioning and healthy relationship, one where you do normal things like go out on dates, hold each others hands. You say stuff like 'I love you' rather than 'Go die'. Affection isn't supposed to be torture, Zim. Affection is supposed to invoke happiness, and Tak can't give that to you. I'm not saying I could, but..." You trailed off, your brain finally seeming to get with the program. You had already said too much. 

For the first time in the history of ever, Zim stood there in a dead silence. He appeared to not know what to say or how to say it. You didn't blame him. What was he supposed to do? Scoop you up into his arms and run off into the sunset? You wanted nothing more in than moment than for a pit to open beneath your feet and swallow you whole, never to be seen again. Grabbing at the hem of your shirt, your face felt as if it were on fire. Staring at the ground under your shoes, you attempted to will the previously mentioned pit into existence. No such luck.

"I, uh, see." Zim spoke first, amazingly calm about the whole ordeal. Slowly, his usual air of confidence was returning. "Well, it might interest you to know that I was going to break things off with Tak anyway." Hope rose in your chest. Even if he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just glad he was getting out of that horrid situation. 

"Really?" 

"Mhm." Awkwardly clearing his throat, he shifted his weight from foot to foot, genuinely unsure of what to do with all of this newfound information. After a few moments, a grin spread on his face, which happened to be the tell-tale sign of him having an idea. Whether it was competent or disastrous, odds were about 30-70. For his sake, you prayed that it was much better than his Tak idea. "Say, Y/n. Would you be interested in aiding me in studying a normal human relationship?"

Sure, the way he was asking was strange, and you vaguely wondered if he held hidden motives--the answer to that question was most likely yes, but you still felt okay about your answer. 

"Are you asking me out?"

"...Yes." 

Pearls of laughter escaped you; he was bizarre, always has been, always will be. And yet, he was the one you had fallen for. "Sure. Only after you break up with Tak." It was then that he smiled, not a malicious smirk of a wolf cornering its prey, rather that of a boy who was just pleased to exist.

"Consider it done."

[th3atr3phant0m]

I Want to be Okay

For the majority of his life, Zim had considered himself to be above most other humans. His self-confidence was through the roof and he had an ego the size of his kismesis’ head. That paired with his mild God-complex was a fun little cocktail for absolute disaster and it was only a matter of time before Zim was taken down a few notches by his fellow classmates and everything changing around him.

As middle school and high school progressed, everyone around Zim changed. Their voices, their bodies, their personalities. Zim, on the other hand, felt as though he had remained mostly stagnant throughout the time. It wasn’t until how the others treated him and how Dib acted began to change that this was brought to his attention.

Suddenly, Zim felt the crushing pressure that everyone talked about but that Zim had never been able to imagine would ever impact him even slightly. He had never felt such hatred towards himself as he did those dark years of high school. It was as if every good thing he had seen in himself had been washed away as a cold bucket of water was upended above him, dousing him in the reality that he hadn’t seen before.

And that reality hurt more than most other things seemed to.

For the first time ever, Zim found him doubting himself almost completely. He felt happy about very few aspects of his appearance and personality and it weighed upon him heavily as the days dragged by with people becoming increasingly hostile and dismissive of him.

What hurt the most, though, was the realization that Dib had completely lost interest in him.

For several years, their relationship had been based on mutual hatred mingled with respect for the other. They were pinned against one another constantly and did everything they could to keep a constant battle going on between them, whether it was with their fists or with their intellects. They did everything in their power to do better than the other and excel in ways that the other could only hope to achieve. Zim and Dib were constantly at the top of their classes due to their battles to best the other and both pushed themselves both mentally and physically to get further than the other.

Now, though, Dib had completely given up on him. The other man has abandoned their strange relationship in spite of the fact that it had lasted for several years. Just like that, he dropped their entire dynamic without sparing a glance back at what he had spent so much of his time and energy on. Dib left without a word in favour of someone else- some pretty girl that he has a far more peaceful and cheery relationship with. He abandoned Zim as if he meant nothing.

Just like his mother, Miyuki, had all those years ago when she died.

Zim was sick and tired of being left behind and forgotten as though he was nothing . Zim was brilliant and powerful in so many ways that those around him just couldn’t comprehend. It wasn’t that he was less than them, they were just too blind and foolish to see that he was perfect. Zim wasn’t the problem!

...but what if he was?

It hadn’t just been Dib who had left him. His birth mother had left him as well and several of his foster homes had given him up before he finally landed in the care of his current fathers. That was more than enough to form a pattern that was clear as day and that pattern told him that people just had a tendency to leave him. People got bored with Zim and discarded him and, for the first time ever, he had to wonder if it was actually his fault.

Zim had to change things and he had to so quickly. He refused to continue to be left behind by those that he grew attached to any more. No longer would he be overlooked and unloved. He was going to change things.

It started off simple.

Zim became incredibly conscious of his caloric intake. He carefully considered how many calories were in every single food item he ate, cautious to not go over the limit that he had set for himself, no matter how hungry he was. Zim may not have been particularly large beforehand, but he knew what it was that people wanted and who was he to deny them?

The changes in his physique were minuscule, taking far too much time to leave any impact on Zim’s body aside from the lingering hunger when he didn’t eat well enough. He wasn’t happy with the small changes, so he began to eat even less, pushing himself to eat as little as possible when he did eat and to drink as much water as he could instead, warding off hunger and weight with the liquid. It may not have been satisfying as actually eating food was, but it was something.

Both of Zim’s fathers seemed to constantly eat junk foods. Despite this, their metabolism was so powerful that they stayed in good shape no matter what. It was a shame that Zim couldn’t get that trait from them. Oh, how much easier it would be if he could look pretty and perfect without having to starve himself as he did.

But Zim wasn’t so lucky. He had to work hard for the changes in his body and he wondered if his fathers were noticing. While they had likely noticed the fact that Zim had been eating less and less- coming up with excuses to not eat anytime they had family meals together- he wasn’t sure whether or not they would care that he wasn’t eating. As much as he wanted them to and as much as it made sense to him, he couldn’t be sure. Clearly, Zim had been overestimating himself and how much others liked him. Why would his dads be any different?

Weeks passed with him eating as little as he possibly could while still consuming enough to function and Zim couldn’t help but feel proud of himself in some twisted way. Despite the way hunger clawed at his stomach, seeing the numbers on the scale slowly slide back more and more over the days made him smile. The flatness of his stomach and the more prominent curve of his ribs and dip of his hips made up for the dizzying hunger that overtook his body as the weeks passed.

Despite the massive change, nothing in the way his peers treated him seemed was altered. They still overlooked and ignored him unless he was screaming or demanding their attention in one way or another. Even Dib- the one he had hoped to gain the attention of the most- continued to refuse him anything more than a passing glance.

That hurt even more than the hunger did.

Clearly, what he was doing already wasn’t enough. That was okay, though. He could change things. That wasn’t all that he had to offer the world.

Being gender fluid gave Zim an array of ways to express himself and a variety of outfit options to play around with when he was looking to impress those around him. Typically, when he chose clothing, he looked for things that made him feel comfortable with however he wanted to present that day rather than thinking about how he would be perceived and whether or not others would find it appealing. Recently, though, it seemed like a far better idea to begin focusing more on the latter option.

In another attempt to gain the respect and attention of his peers- specifically Dib- he ended up revamping his entire wardrobe, taking on a style that wasn’t entirely his own nor entirely in his comfort zone.

Zim began pushing his outfit choices to the extreme no matter what day it was, wearing form-fitting or revealing clothes most days. On Zim's feminine or androgynous days, she wore cropped shirts to expose their flat, somewhat muscled stomach. On other days, tight button-down worked wonders at showing off the physique he had worked so hard for.

As it turned out, he had been right about one thing- dressing differently did draw attention to himself. In his new outfits, even if he didn’t like all of them, he turned heads and oh he loved the attention. Their stares as he walked by, their heads swivelling to follow his movements made him feel amazing. He felt seen by them. He felt appreciated. He was proving to them that he wasn’t someone to just be discarded as they had done once before.

Zim was almighty.

But Dib still wouldn’t even look his fucking way. No matter what it was he did, it seemed he could never gain the boy’s attention. Despite all of his attempts, Zim wasn’t able to restore their previous relationship. The changes that he underwent did absolutely nothing to ignite the same spark he had within the other boy when he first met him. He just couldn’t seem to get Dib’s attention at all and the attention that he got from his peers, while immediately gratifying, was clearly not akin to respect.

Even with his best efforts, Dib was still staring at that stupid girl and not paying any attention to him. Nothing that Zim had done to make himself more impressive had drawn any of his nemesis’ attention back to him. Despite making himself even more of a formidable foe than he had been before, Dib refused to give him the time of day- as is he didn’t even notice Zim’s existence.

Zim hated the fact that Dib had been able to move on to something else so easily while Zim was stuck in the past, missing their relationship regardless of how fucked up it had been.

The more he longingly stared at them from afar, the more he found himself wishing that he were her - or at least, like her. While Zim didn’t particularly like the girl, it was clear that Dib did and even if Zim didn’t want the same kind of attention that Dib was giving her for himself, he wanted something . He wanted their old chaotic, intense rivalry back. He wanted a reason to push himself like Dib had given him throughout all those years. He wanted someone in his life who was important to him like Dib had been for such a long time. He wanted what they used to have back.

Zim gritted his teeth angrily as he ran his fingers through his hair harshly, dragging the dye through the strands as he did so. Zim kept telling himself that it wasn’t strange that he was doing this so he could look more like her - more appealing. He kept telling himself that what he was doing was normal. Those shitty videos about self-esteem that their teachers had shown them all in middle school were enough to prove to Zim that, at the very least, he wasn’t completely alone in these strange concerns about himself and his body.

He continued to lather the coloured dye into his hair, working it in as best as he could without getting help from a third party. If he couldn’t even get and keep Dib’s attention then how was he ever going to get anyone to care about him? If Dib had been able to give up on him so easily after everything that they had gone through together, then Zim had no confidence that he would be able to get anyone else to care about him for any longer than a couple of years. The attention that he was getting at school wasn’t enough and it was his own fault. He wasn’t working hard enough to make himself perfect, to make himself desired enough by others for them to actually care about him.

Zim tugged harshly on his hair, yanking at the fibres despite the pain that prickled in his scalp as he did so.

How was anyone going to love him if he couldn’t even keep his nemesis’ attention?

By the time Zim rinsed the paste from his hair and dried it, his hair was bleach blonde. Just like her’s.

While he didn’t think it suited him and never would have died his hair like that under any other circumstances, seeing his reflection made him smile. He may not have been perfect yet, but he was getting there. He truly looked beautiful, even if it was strange on him.

He hoped that it was enough to make the others care about him.

~~~

As he waltzed through the hallways, he drew people’s eyes his way. People stopped in their tracks to watch him and a few people even attempted to speak to him, a couple going as far as to ask him out on dates.

All of those requests made Zim frown. While it was definitely a nice amount of attention, it wasn’t the right kind of attention. It was clear that none of them actually cared about or loved him. They felt nothing more for him than infatuation. They wanted nothing more from him than his body.

It made him sick.

Why wasn’t anyone giving him what he wanted? Everything that he had done to change his appearance had been for them, so why wasn’t he able to form any meaningful relationships? Why did all of it feel so fake and plastic?

The pain was overwhelming.

His stomach ached with the desire for any substantial food. His hips and upper thighs stung with the echoes of his own nails from those nights when the stress and aggravation grew so strong that he began to take it out upon himself, raking his sharp nails over the sensitive flesh. His head pounded with the headache that grew the longer he went without eating and the more he allowed his thoughts to overtake him.

Most of all though, the feeling of being overlooked and unloved was overwhelming. It hurt far more than any of the physical pain that ailed him. The scratches across his skin and the growling of his stomach didn’t hold a candle to the pain he felt inside himself.

Abruptly, Zim was drawn from his thoughts as he felt a new presence enter his space.

He had been sitting on the floor of the hallway, hidden away from the majority of the chaos that was going on, and sticking to the relatively empty halls of their school. He couldn’t stand being in the cafeteria during lunch- partially because the place was packed with people and absolutely disgusting, but primarily because the sight and scent of all of that food made him feel nauseous.

As he looked up, Zim felt his heart stop. Next to him was the very target of all of his recent concerns: Dib Membrane.

“You’ve been acting weird, lately. You’re not eating like normal, you’re not wearing your weird, eccentric outfits, you bleached your hair, and you’re always brooding.” As Dib sat down beside Zim, his eyebrows drew together in concern, “So what’s up?”

Despite the fact that Zim wanted nothing more than to tell someone, anyone , all fo the problems and concerns that had been plaguing him recently, he just couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he felt defensiveness bubble up within him, “Nothing.”

Dib looked unamused, “I think these past few months you’ve changed more than you have throughout the entire time I’ve known you. You don’t seem happy about it, though.” For a moment, his eyes scanned over Zim’s gaunt body, “Have you been eating at all, Zim?”

“Of course I have. I’m not an idiot.”

Dib ignored him, opting to dig into the pocket of his trenchcoat instead. What he withdrew was something smelling strongly of cinnamon and sugar wrapped carefully in a paper towel. He held out his hand, offering it up to Zim. “We made monkey bread in home economics. I was just going to save it and eat it when I got home, but you clearly need it more.”

Zim scowled at the offending item that was offered to him. He couldn’t resist, though, the desire to eat and the scent of the delicious food more important than his body for a moment.

Without a word, Zim reached out and grabbed the baked good from Dib’s hands, quickly unwrapping it and digging into the delicious food.

As Zim ate, Dib stayed silent, just watching him with a distant sort of concern in his eyes. By the time Zim finished eating it, he began worrying at his lower lip with his teeth. He shouldn’t have taken that from Dib. He shouldn’t have eaten anything today. He-

“Hey,” Dib drew Zim’s attention to him by snapping his fingers before the man’s eyes.

“I’m fine,” Zim reassured before Dib could even say anything. It didn’t sound convincing to either of them, though.

“Clearly you’re not…” Dib frowned, leaning back against the wall, “Listen, I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I have problems with my body, too.”

"I do not have problems with-"

"Then why aren't you eating?" Dib's voice was mildly accusatory as he spoke, "If you don't have problems with your body, why did you change everything if it clearly isn't making you happy?"

"Oh, fuck off !" Zim snapped, "You've been ignoring me for months and now you care? After years of us being pinned against each other in every way, you just… left me! You've been avoiding and ignoring me for months and now and all of a sudden you care what's happening to me? After actively ignoring me for months, you've finally decided to grace me with your presence and ask me uncomfortable, prying questions about things you know nothing about."

"Then explain ."

Zim glared, "Why should I?"

"Because something is obviously bothering you and I'm tired of watching you destroy yourself," Dib sighed, "I'm not going to leave until you tell me so you should just start talking."

Zim sighed as well, letting his head fall back to lean against the lockers behind them, "I'm just… sick of everyone overlooking me."

Dib began to frown, "I don't-"

"Yes, you do," Zim countered, "You've completely abandoned our rivalry. You don't even try to do better than me in our classes anymore. You don't even speak to me anymore. You've left me. You wouldn't even tell me why."

Dib fell silent as if he didn't know what to say. Instead, he leaned to the side slightly so that their shoulders brushed up against one another's faintly, "So… why change your appearance, then?"

"I had hoped people would take interest in me if I looked more appealing to them," Zim sighed, "They say beauty makes people happy. Clearly , that wasn't enough, though."

"You looked great before."

"I don't think anyone else in this shithole would agree."

"I mind of have a similar problem," Dib gestured to his body vaguely, "I, uh, worry about not looking masculine enough and getting misgendered or having people claim that I'm 'faking it'."

Zim hummed. At least he wasn't along.

"The point is, even if people here are dicks about it, you shouldn't let them control your decisions. The people here seriously aren't worth the trouble, Zim."

"I know that. That doesn't change anything, though."

"Why not?"

"Because if the people here can't love me, how can I expect anyone else to?"

"It may not be the kind of love you want, but I definitely do care about you," Dib tilted his head to the side, "I'm sorry that things got… weird between us. When we got into that argument, I really thought that you didn't want me in your life anymore."

"Well, you were wrong," Zim glanced to the side to look at Dib, "You're not the only problem, though. Everyone else leaves me, too. I'm pretty sure it's my fault, at this point.

"It's not your fault," Dib sighed, "People leave you because the world is shit, not because you've done anything wrong. Even if you did, changing your appearance wouldn't do anything."

"I can see that," Zim glared disdainfully in the direction of the cafeteria where nearly all of their peers were. Zim drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself.

Why was it that even now that Dib was finally talking to him, it didn't feel any better? Why did he still feel so empty inside? Nothing was better. Despite all of his effort, he just couldn't seem to fix himself. Even after everything he'd done, he felt like a disappointment. The only reason Dib was even talking to him was because he pitied the smaller human. He didn't want Dib's pity- he didn't want to be seen as nothing more than a pathetic kitten that couldn't even get through a day without breaking down.

More than that, though, Zim wanted fo stop feeling like that pathetic kitten struggling through the day. He didn't want every day to be so difficult. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be loved. He just wanted...

"I just want to be okay…"

The stunning cover art for this piece was done by the fantastic @sai-doodles​! Go give them some love and support!

I originally posted this work here on Archive. It’s the first part of my Human Zim series. Check it out if you’re interested!

This fic was inspired by the song Prom Queen by Beach Bunny and the story was suggested by the stellar @sams-art-shit​.

[krizaland]

I’m sorry if I’m bothering you but I just love your work!! But can you imagine that instead of y/n and dib getting stuck in the Zimvoid, zim and dib would be stuck in a y/n-void? Again, sorry if I’m bothering you, I love your work, keep it up!!

I LOVE IT!! LET’S DO IT!!!

Be warned: There are obsessive and creepy behaviors ahead. While there won’t be anything sexual in my story, things still may get disturbing.

Here’s the original song I used but be warned it’s nsfw. Because of this some of the lyrics have been changed.

The day you went missing was the day Zim and Dib finally put their differences aside to track you down.

However, where they ended up made their jaws drop and their hearts flutter.

They had somehow ended up on a planet full of copies of you!

There were versions of you of all shapes, sizes and even species!

Luckily Zim had a sample of your DNA so at least he could the you from his timeline.

“Ok, we need a plan to save our Y/N! We-”

Dib was cut off by a very excited GIR.

“OOH! OOH! I HAVE AN IDEA!”

And with that, GIR went running off into a group of yous before Zim could even try to stop him.

“HEY! Are you my Unicorn?!” GIR asked a you with fairy wings.

“No. I’m not a unicorn and I don’t even know who you are.” The you huffed as they folded their arms.

“Okie dokie!” GIR giggled as he walked off to another you wearing a pirate costume.

“Are you my Unicorn?”

“No. I am no Unicorn, landlubber!  I be Captain Y/N! The fiercest space pirate that ever roamed the galaxies!” The you announced dramatically.

“Ooh! Ok! Bye!”

And with that, GIR trotted off to a random pipe.

“Hey! Are you my Unicorn?”

The pipe said nothing as it sat on the ground.

“That’s ok take your time.” GIR reassured as he patted the pipe.

“GRAHH! GIR! Looks like I’ll have deal with him later. Right now I need to focus on my sweet Y/N!” Zim growled as he dragged a hand down his face.

“Well like I said, we need a plan! Do you have any ideas?” Dib groaned as he folded his arms.

“Of course I do! Zim always has a plan! ALWAYS!” Zim declared as he pointed to the sky.

“Ok, so what’s the plan, spaceboy?”

“The plan is…Uh…Um…”

“Seriously?! You don’t have any ideas at all?!” Dib interjected.

“OF COURSE I HAVE IDEAS! My plans are so amazing that your inferior human mind can’t comprehend them!” Zim lied as he snapped a finger in Dib’s face.

“Hey, if you boys are done fighting, I think I might be able to help.”

Dib and Zim whipped around and their jaws dropped.

What stood before them was an Irken you!

“Surprise! It’s another Y/N! The others call me Zoom though.” Zoom giggled as they gave a wink.

“Why do they call you, Zoom?” Dib asked as he rubbed the back of his he raised a brow.

“Because it sounds like a combination of Zim and doom so they other Y/Ns thought it was cute.” Zoom explained casually.

Zim’s PAK sparked a bit as he fought back the urge to stare into your F/C eyes.

Remembering how beautiful his you looked, Zim shook away his infatuation and cleared his throat.

“Yes, yes. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Zoom-Y/N  but the Dib-monkey and I are searching for our Y/N. So just…run along now or whatever”

“Well, you’re gonna need someone to help you navigate this hellhole if you want to find them! So are you gonna except my help or not?” Zoom huffed as they put their hands on their hips.

“Ugh! Fine! Do you have any ideas?” Zim pouted as he folded his arms.

“I sure do! Follow me! I’ll take you back to the rebel camp where we can explain everything to you two!”

And with that, Zoom led Zim and Dib to the rebel camp.

There were tons of Y/Ns at the camp but none seemed to be human.

“Welcome to the rebel Y/N camp! Here you’ll find all the Y/Ns who don’t want to take orders from the cruel demon that trapped us here!” Zoom explained as they gestured to the camp.

“Wait, are all these Y/Ns not…human?” Dib asked as he looked around.

“Yup! Apparently his ‘royal majesty’ only likes human Y/Ns! Anyone who isn’t human is thrown here, to the dumps!” Zoom grumbled as they gestured for Zim and Dib to keep going.

Eventually, Zoom stopped before an Elderly Y/N who looked like a moth creature.

“You won’t believe what I found, Elder! A Zim and a Dib!” Zoom chirped as they gestured to Zim and Dib.

“We’ll I’ll be! I can’t believe you two actually made it here!” The Elder crooned as they leaned in closer.

“Can you please explain to us what’s going on now?” Dib asked as he raised his hand.

“Right! Of course! You poor boys must be so confused! Gather around and I’ll tell you the tale of how our horrible society came to be.”

And with that Zim and Dib plopped down before The Elder as they spun their tale.

A you with glowing eyes was led into Zib’s castle where he stood in the doorway waiting to greet them.

“It’s another night, with Y/Ns coming to see me. Such a pretty sight, waiting there for me.” Zib sang as he slowly emerged from the shadows.

The glowing eyed you gasped and tried to leave-

SLAM!

The door shut behind them as Zib carefully took their hand in his and pulled them close.

“Smiling away, what you do like any other day. Take me by the hand, let’s dance the night astray.” Zib sang as he pulled the glowing eyed you into a tight hug.

“He stole what was mine, so I took his life from him. All the power he had, lives on within me.”  Zib chuckled as he remembered how he defeated Zim and stole his PAK.

“Look into my eyes, This will make you listen really easy.”  Zib sang as he attached a blue collar around the glowing eyed you’s neck.

ZAP!

“Look into my eyes”

A bright blue haze clouded the you’s glowing eyes as they gazed into Zib’s yellowed ones

“Taken my surprise, you’ve fallen enchanted.” Zib smirked as he kissed the top of their head.

“A stolen PAK that’s fused to him, gave him the power to control us.” Sang the glowing eyed you as they stood next to Zib’s throne wearing blue robes.

“He wants to lure every Y/N to his castle, just to feel loved.” Sang a you with F/C skin and matching robes.

“Bringing us one by one he chose the fairest Y/N and we gave him all our trust.” Sang the glowing eyed you.

“He’s building up his harem!” Sang the F/C skinned you.

“Brainwashed by my special collars, they finally love me! Devotion in every word they say, I know they’ll stay.” Zib sang as he stroked the glowing eyed you’s head.

“Their fates are set, From their blood to their sweat they all belong to me!  Just as long as their eyes shine a blue hue!”  Zib wrapped his hands around the F/C skinned you’s tightly.

“Once my plans progress to get these Y/Ns in my grasp. Never nonetheless, these’s no use to escape from my madness!” Zib cackled as he threw his arms into the air.

“OH! AUGH! EW!! You’re telling me some DISGUSTING Dib-Monster has my sweet Y/N?!”

“Not just your Y/N, he has countless Y/Ns and if this keeps up, every Y/N in the multiverse will be trapped here!” The Elder warned.

Zim and Dib gasped in unison as the Elder continued the story.

“Fragments of my past, I would like to burn them all away! Throw away my shame! And let it decay!” Zib sang as he burned pictures of his former self.

You stood beside him and watched the flames devour the photos.

“I want to forget, the person that I used to be. People used to laugh, and make fun of me!”

You gently put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look.

Zib’s eyes lit up the moment your hand touched his shoulder.

“Took them by the hands, as I told them, my sweet and simple plan.” Zib sang as he pulled you close to him.

Zib dipped you down and pulled you into a passionate kiss!

“Giving them a kiss was my only wish!”  Zib sang as he parted for air.

“You look just like the one, my friend since we were both so young. All you did was laugh and make fool of me!” Zib sniffled as he gripped your wrists tighter.

“Day by day, plenty of Y/Ns came to him from all over the multiverse.” You sang as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“One by one, all of us got lost as his evil plans got worse.” Sang an extremely tall you.

“Y/Ns got in entranced by him and soon lost their memories too!” You sang as you held one of Zib’s hands.

“Soon we didn’t even know what do to!” Sang the extremely tall you.

“My longing growing in darkness makes me desire more!  Infinitely, obsession spreading, without an ending!” Zib sang as he pulled you into his lap.

“Real or Trick? I’ll make you stick no matter how hard you try to leave! Deep and strong we’re making Zims cry and bleed! “ Zib sang as he pulled the extremely tall you back in place.

“Hating Zims and stealing the love of their angels. I’m the king of the night, it’s the madness that always felt right!” Zib sang as he kissed the top of your head.

“MADNESS! WE NEED TO PUT A STOP TO THIS AT ONCE!!” Zim screeched as he grasped the sides of his head.

“I never thought I’d say this but Zim’s right! We can’t let that weird Zim..Dib hybrid get away with this!” Dib agreed as he pointed to the sky.

“That’s why I brought you two here so we can discuss a-”

“WAIT! I HAVE A PLAN! Yes…An ingenious plan…” Zim interjected as he rubbed his hands together.

“Ok, I do not like that look on your face.” Dib muttered as he backed away from Zim.

“Zoom-Y/N! Do you still have access to some of your tech?” Zim asked as he turned his attention to Zoom.

“I think so. Why? What do you plan on doing with it?” Zoom asked as they checked their PAK.

“You’ll see…You’ll see…”

Within a few moments, Zim and Dib were dressed exactly like you.

“Really Zim?! This is your plan?! This never gonna work!” Dib whined as he gestured to his poorly constructed costume.

“Nonsense! Of course it will work! Zim is a master of disguise! Now hurry! Let’s retrieve Y/N before that REVOLTING DIB-WORM gets his Dib filth all over them!” Zim urged as he curled his fingers in front of his face.

“Are you kidding me?! Zim these disguises are total dookie! There’s no way anyone’s gonna be convinced by these!” Dib whined as he tugged on his disguise.

“OOH! Are you my unicorn?” GIR asked as he skipped over to Dib.

“No. I’m Dib.” Dib replied as he raised a brow.

“Ok! Are you my unicorn?” GIR asked as he turned his attention to Zim.

“No. It’s me GIR. See?” Zim chuckled as he lifted off a part of his disguise.

“Oh! Hi master!” GIR chirped with a wave.

“See? Flawless disguises! No let’s get going already!”

Dib wanted to protest but he didn’t want to keep you waiting either.

“Wait! I’m coming with you guys!” Zoom insisted as they ran after Zim and Dib.

“If those guys can’t help us I don’t know who can.” The Elder sighed as they shook their head.

After a long and grueling journey, Zim, Dib, and Zoom finally made it to Zib’s castle.

“Looks like you boys are on your own from here! Are you sure your ready?” Zoom asked softly.

“Well actually-”

“OF COURSE WE ARE!” Zim interjected.

“Alright. Good luck! I’m going to see if I can find a way to send everyone back to their home timelines.”

And with that, Zoom rushed off to search for a way to send the Y/Ns home.

Zim took in a deep breath and knocked on the door.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

CREAK!

The door slowly opened as a familiar voice echoed from within:

“Come in my sweets~”

Zim and Dib carefully made their way into Zb’s castle.

SLAM!

The door slammed behind them as Zib emerged from the shadows.

“Well, Well what have we here?”

“Um, just two lost Y/Ns…” Dib giggled as he tried to imitate your voice.

Yes, I can see that. Come closer will you? I don’t bite.” Zib chuckled as he motioned for Dib to come closer.

Dib swallowed hard as he carefully approached Zib.

Zib chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Dib’s waist.

“Typical, Y/N. Always so tense…You know you really don’t have to-ACK!”

CLANG!

Zib was cut off by Zim smacking him upside the head with one of his weapons.

“Let’s go find our Y/N!” Zim growled as he dragged Dib along.

It didn’t take long for Zim and Dib to find you.

“Y/N!” Zim and Dib exclaimed in unison.

“We are all Y/N here….” Your voice was cold and robotic as you stared up at them with hazy blue eyes.

“Y-Y/N! What happened to you?!” Dib yelped.

“WHAT HAS THAT AWFUL DIB DONE TO YOU?!” Zim demanded as he shook your shoulders.

“He is not awful. He has opened my eyes and now I am free….” You responded as your eyelids lowered.

“NO! Y/N! SNAP OUT OF IT! JUST- Eh?” Zim suddenly noticed the bright blue collar wrapped around your neck.

“What’s- AH HA! THIS MUST BE WHY YOU’RE ACTING ALL WEIRD AND STUFF!”

Before you could protest, Zim pulled out a small laser from his PAK

ZAP!

CRACK!

CLANG!

With one swift cut, you were freed from your collar as it clattered to the ground.

The blue haze faded from your eyes as they returned to their normal color.

“Urgh…What happened?” You groaned.

“Y/N! YOU’RE BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF!” Zim cheered as he pulled you into a tight hug.

“I never thought I’d say this but…You did it Zim..” Dib admitted as he rubbed his arm.

“Yes! Yes I did! I AM ZIM! Now let’s free all the other Y/Ns before that VILE Dib-thing wakes up”

And with that, You, Zim and Dib went around the castle and freed every single version of you.

“I think that was the last of em.” Zim panted as another collar clattered to the ground.

“Great job guys! Now we can get out of here!” You chuckled as you pulled Zim and Dib into a hug.

Zim and Dib giggled as they melted into your embrace.

Once you released them they composed themselves and prepared to leave.  You, Zim, and Dib were just inches away from the door when-

“Not so fast!”

All three of you whipped around to find Zib glaring daggers at Zim and Dib.

“You didn’t really think I’d let you leave here with all of my beloved Y/Ns did you?” Zib growled as he drew closer.

“It’s over you..Zib creature you! All of the Y/Ns have been freed!” Dib stuttered as he put his hands on his hips.

“Don’t call me by that name. And I’ll have you know that all of the Y/Ns are HUH?!”

Zib’s eyes nearly burst out of his cracked glasses!

All of the Y/Ns were running out of the castle!

“Guards! Guards! Stop them!” Zib pleaded but he was too late, for every last Y/N had left the castle.

“N-No…No! No!!!!!!” Zib wailed as he clutched the sides of his head.

“Well, looks like it’s time for us to leave now!” Dib stuttered as he tried to guide you out of the castle.

FWIP!

You, Zim, and Dib were captured in a massive mechanical tentacle.

“None of you are going anywhere! You may have chased off my harem but I still have the most beautiful Y/N of them all and I refuse to ever let them leave my side!” Zib seethed as he stormed closer.

BOOM!

Zim had squeezed out a blaster from his PAK and blasted you and Dib free.

“Hurry! We don’t have much time!”

And with that, Zim grabbed your hand and rushed you out the door.

“Wait for me!!!” Dib cried as he ran after you and Zim.

“WAIT! NO!! YOU CAN’T TAKE THEM FROM ME-ACK!”

THUD!

The remains of the tentacle fell on top of Zib.

“N-No!! Y/N! Wait! I didn’t even get to tell you I loved you….”

“Geez. What a creep. Are you alright, Y/N?” Zim asked as he took off his disguise.

“Yeah, I think so. My head hurts though.” You sighed as you rubbed your head.

“Well hopefully we can fix that when we get you home.” Zim kissed your cheek as he let you back to the Voot Cruiser.

“Wait! What about the other mes?” You asked as you climbed in.

“Don’t worry about them! I’ve already taken care of it!” Zoom reassured as they zipped over to you.

“Really? What did you do, Irken-me?” You asked as you peeked over at Zoom.

“I found this Dimensional Zapper thingy and reprogramed it.” Zoom explained nonchalantly.

“Oh that makes sense.”

“Well. It was nice working with you, Zoom-Y/N. Now it’s time for us to part ways!” Zim announced as he started up the Voot.

“Wait! Are you my unicorn?!” GIR asked as he hopped into your lap.

“Yes. Yes. I am.” You chuckled as you patted GIR’s head.

“Yay!!” And with that, Zim closed the Voot and flew off.

Dib hopped into Tak’s ship and followed suit.

You were the last Y/N to go, leaving Zib all alone.

“No! Please don’t go…”

[saintheartwing]

Jeremy Spoke In Class Today

Author's Note: I've had this story idea in mind for years. Today, I finally wrote it out. So...trigger warning. The follow content isn't for the faint of heart. The story you're reading is going to contain violent imagery. Harsh depictions of violence and death. I write this story not to make you disgusted, but in inspiration from a very famous song about this very subject matter, and as a warning to all who may be on the verge of becoming their own Jeremies.

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"I want you to tell me what happened."

The air is sultry, choking the life out of those that sit in the room. It's quiet. Still. Uncomfortable. Every single person that's been in this room has to tell him what they saw. It's just them and the cop. The cop is trying to go easy on them, he speaks quietly, softly, carefully. There's a social worker just to his right, in case any of the children start to cry.

None of them have yet. That's good.

Right?

The first interviewed had blood splattered all over his right eye. It doused his glasses, his black jacket, a splotch falling on the dark blue undershirt he wore, with the "meh" looking cartoony face atop it. His black hair is slicked up in a scythe, his skin paler than usual. He's quiet and somber as he speaks.

"I would…see him drawing in class. Stuff he'd taken from home."

Dibbun Membrane kneads his hands together in his lap. His breathing is shallow, but he speaks all the same.

"Drawing pictures of mountaintops, with him on top. Lemon yellow sun, arms raised in a "v"." Dib confesses as he bits his lip, and looks down at the desk. If he closes his eyes, he can still see them, and see himself. He sees himself peering to the left, looking at Jeremy. Jeremy, who's got so little hair that the kids tease him for going bald so early. Jeremy, who has the kind of fat, sort of ugly nose. Who's got small ears, and a kind of skinny frame. Dib can see him, drawing at his desk, drawing himself as king of the mountain.

And the dead lie in pools of maroon below.

"I know he talked about…how his dad didn't pay attention to him. We had that in common." Dib goes on. "I'd bring it up to him too. My dad can't even remember exactly when my birthday is. The last time we ate out together as a family was when it was my birthday last year. My sister's having her's coming up soon, then it'll be mine. Every other meal, there this…robot. It asks us in our Dad's voice if we love him, and we gotta select "yes" on the screen before it lets us have our food." Dib confesses. "So I told him "How sad is that? I've had a dad replaced with a TV screen that keeps asking for love and can't show it"."

"What did he say?" The cop wants to know, though, deep down, he really isn't sure he wants to.

Dib sighs. "He said "Yeah. Sucks. But I'd rather have that than a Dad who IS there…and even though he's looking at you, he isn't seeing you". That's what he told me. His Dad never actually talked to him. Doesn't ask ONE question about how his day or week's gone. And his mom's no better. She doesn't care. She's only there every once in a while, she's always working, like…some kind of lawyer, I think. She's some kind of lawyer. And then there's the birthday gifts."

"What did he get?"

"A card and a little check." Dib sighs. "I know a lot of kids who'd love that, but there's never any parties. And they don't even put anything in the card. Not even their name. He showed me that too when he showed me the check. I think he used the checks to save up for that…for what he brought in to class." Dib murmurs as he rubs the back of his neck, feeling the air choking his throat again. "So his dad isn't paying attention, and his mother doesn't care. So what does he have left? Isn't it sad when I'M his only real friend and we're only really…like, we just talk sometimes at Recess or lunch. That's…wow. I mean…just…" He trails off.

There's silence for what seems like ages. Then he speaks up again, and says the same thing the other boy said, the one with the bad black hair, the green skin, who didn't have a nose or ears.

"Then one day he attacked Ms. Bitters."

"He attacked a teacher?"

"We all remember picking on the boy. Zim especially. He was a…what's your term? Lightweight? Pathetic. As Torque Smacky put it, a "harmless little fuck"." Zim goes on. He's wearing his normal dark maroon shirt, three small stripes across it, dark pants, boots, gloves. He looks oddly…cold. He's usually smug in class. Or frowning. His face is different. It's almost expressionless. It is as if he's trying to comprehend something but can't.

"How did he attack Ms. Bitters?"

"We had no idea we'd unleashed a lion." Zim goes on. "He was yelling at Torque. Torque had insulted him again. Jeremy actually does something Zim approves of, and kicks him squarely in the face. It's glorious, his nose is broken on the spot." Zim nods firmly. "Torque begins tearing the kid's hair out as they tumble about on the ground, and Jeremy, in turn, begins biting Torque wherever he can. Ms. Bitters slithers her way onto the playground and everyone turns silent. We had all been cheering and jeering, laughing, pumping our fists into the air, the cry of "Fight, Fight, Fight" stops at once. Zim sees her forcibly lift Torque and Jeremy off the ground. She shakes them, first Jeremy, then Torque. She's turning to Torque to admonish him after she's got Jeremy in one hand, but it isn't a good grip, and he breaks free, and then it happened."

"He bit her?"

"He bites her on the chest." Zim rests his hands on the desk he's sitting at, faint dust motes wafting through the air about him as he speaks. "I've never seen her look so…astounded. Jeremy is screaming. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you", and he punches her in the face, and her glasses shatter. The skies are all cloudy and it looks like it might rain, and she just stares at him. Zim can SEE the slowly building rage. She's going to kill him on the spot. It was amazing. I'd never seen such raw fury in two human faces before."

He almost sounds…intoxicated. Impressed.

"I was just…astounded by it. He gets hauled off, by his arms, into the school. He's got detention for a week. We find out he even got a paddling from Ms. Bitters, and as he walks by me in the hallway a day later, I look down and see his pants have been ripped. Ms. Bitters had been paddling him so hard that morning that she tore his pants and he can't go home to get new ones. So I laugh. I sing that human song, "I see Paris, I see France, Zim can see your underpants". Something like that."

The green-skinned child rubs his cheek. Not two hours ago, blood was dripping down it, splattered over his left eye to drizzle down his cheek and onto his shirt and his arm. Jeremy's blood.

"He hits me with a surprise left hook. He almost breaks my jaw. MY jaw." Zim speaks. "I had no idea humans could hit so hard."

"…it is a mortal sin."

Sara can barely bring herself to speak. She's from a very Catholic family and she commonly dresses as a nun. She's been clutching her rosaries and fumbling with her words and she won't look the cop in the face.

"He's done a mortal sin. You cannot ever, ever, EVER do such a thing. I don't understand why you'd damn yourself to Hell like that, he-his…his head. His head!" She murmurs. She grips the rosaries so tightly, her knuckles whiten. The cop almost thinks they're going to pop right out of the skin. "There was…yellow stuff. Not just…not just the blood, and all that pink but…yellow stuff. Wh-where does the yellow stuff even come from?"

"I understand this must be very difficult for you to talk about." The cop tries to say, Sara feeling the tears springing to her eyes.

"So much of it." She murmurs. "So much of that…yellow stuff. And…and the yellow stuff, it…it got all over the blackboard. They will never erase that. We will never, ever forget this." She whispers out.

"Did Jeremy ever talk to you or anyone else in class about his problems at home? Did he ever talk to anyone about being…mad? Or very angry? Or sad? Did he ever bring up weaponry?" The cop wants to know. Nick has that…odd expression on his face. He, like Jeremy, is missing a good chunk of his head. His skull needed surgery, his brain, like Jeremy's, exposed. But he has a polymer plate from the surgery, his brain is still intact. It isn't in pieces, splattered in splotches like a Pollock painting. Nobody's sure how Nick got the injury to his head, evidently there was some kind of drill that got stuck in his skull, and he had to be rushed to the hospital with a probe removed from his cranium. It's a miracle he can talk. But his smile is unholy. He's…

Laughing.

"Jeremy hardly ever spoke. But Jeremy spoke in class today! Jeremy spoke in class today!" Nick laughs. His smile is horrifying, his laughter sends chills down the cop's spine. "Spoke in…spoke in. Yeah…spoke in class today."

He knows he won't really get much else out of him. The cop dismisses him. He's the last child to be interviewed. Ms. Bitters remains oddly silent. She's waiting outside to be called in, but hasn't said a word. When it finally is her time to speak, when he asks her what happened, her voice is creaky and croaky and she seems miles away.

"I've never, ever had this happen." She takes off her glasses, rubbing them on a hankerchief in her pocket. "Ever. This sort of thing never happened in my day."

"When did you realize he intended to do what he did?"

"He said he had something from his parents that he had to give to me. He'd left it in his locker, he said. He walks out of my room. Five minutes later, he's come back. I don't see what's in his pocket. I should have realized something was wrong. Nick starts….laughing. Just this creepy, foul, laughter, and then, THEN as he raises his arm up, pulling his hand out of his pocket, he says "I've got what I came for." He puts the gun in his mouth, and then his upper head vanishes, and everything's all red and pink and…some…yellow stuff."

She can't say any more. The room is dead silent, and still. It's gone cold, too, as the pitter patter of rain turns into a low roar against the windows. The cop doesn't say anything as Ms. Bitters once again cleans her glasses and then looks out the window.

"It just got…everywhere. I didn't think that somebody could small could have so much blood in him. He's still standing upright for a good…twenty seconds. And we can see parts of his skull have flown up into the ceiling tiles. Then one of them falls out, and when it hits the ground, he collapses, and his blood is pooling out, and it's soaking into Dib and Zim's shoes. And that's when I hear Sara screaming, and Nick is laughing, and he keeps saying "Jeremy spoke in class today". Over and over and over…"

The boy's parents are being informed of what's happened. Neither of them have any explanation for how Jeremy got hold of a gun. They didn't even seem to be aware he even HAD been being paddled at school. Evidently Jeremy was supposed to tell his parents of his punishment. Whether he did or didn't isn't known, but the cop is fairly sure Jeremy did. They just weren't really listening.

The crime scene is a mess. Jeremy's desk even more so, scattered pictures lying inside, with the boy atop a mountain, arms raised in a "v", and the dead lay in pools of maroon below.

How do things get so bad that you resort to this? Why did nobody speak out? Reach out? Could anything any of the children have stopped this with some kind words? Or perhaps it really was all on the fault of the parents?

The cop doesn't know.

The children, however, do. Or at least…Dib does. And he'll remember what happened that day, and take it to the grave. He will never forget the way Jeremy's head vanished in the flash of the gunfire. The splattering of blood on his glasses, the bone fragment that shot up, up into the air, and plunked off his desk and onto the floor below. He can't forget that horrible, insane laughter from Nick. How Zim looked so...stunned. Almost broken.

Dib wonders if Zim's ever actually seen a dead body before in his life. Dib had, when his mother died. This was different.

He's not going to forget. Not ever.

He will always remember the day Jeremy spoke in class.

And he's going to have a little talk with his father. Before it becomes his turn to talk in class.

[prof-zimbrane]

Zimbrane Headcanon #1/?

THIS POST IS LONG AND IT’S A DEFINITE SHITPOST NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

Since Zim learnt about the Earthen custom of giving meat to others during Valentine’s Day, he decided to prove to everyone that he was the BEST I MEAN ABSOLUTE BEST lover and boyfriend in the entire world. Forget about building temples and castles in honour of your love. Forget about buying the rights to name a star in your lover’s name. When Zim loves someone, he LOVES and he wants his love to be known by everyone so they would feel inferior in the knowledge that ZiM!!! could never be theirs.

Therefore, to prove his worth as the best lover to ever live, Zim began giving more and more lavish, meat-based items to Professor Membrane. He’ll bear through the pain and agony of devising ways to present the love-meaties to his love-pig, even if meat hurts him. On the first day he designed a catapult to fling salami onto the Membrane household as if he were a kid on Halloween, egging the grouchy neighbour’s windows. Dib’s window was open so he got a salami RIGHT ON HIS STUPID FACE. Professor Membrane was too dumb in love to reprimand Zim for making his yard smell like cured sausages. And the catapult Zim engineered was really impressive.

Zim goes bigger and bigger on the gifts. So ZiM, being the genius that he is, found a way to make a car out of meat. Honk HOnK, it’s your LAMBEEFghini!! Get in the car fueled by the cries of cattle and mutton Professor!!! It’s a feat of engineering AND it’s great for impromptu barbecues. Who needs a meat-dress like Lady Gaga’s to cover up? Certainly not Professor Membrane cuz this machine’s got enough covering to protect the Professor from a barrage of anti-aircraft missiles, surprisingly (it’s a long story).

Next he got inspired by Mount Rushmore, and took over Meat Mountain (Issue #44) to carve an edifice of Professor Membrane’s most brilliant moments (there may or may not be a knock-off of David by Michelangelo).  As skiers progress through the levels, they get a brief history of Prof Membrane’s achievements and his inspirations, it somehow turned into a national museum that doubles as a ski resort. At the end of the ski lane, skiers are being greeted by a 250 feet high Membrane. You can ski between his legs. There’s certainly lots of meat there. Professor Membrane actually wanted to have that section closed down (WHy????) but seeing all the effort Zim gave, became too soft-hearted for that.

What about his final act? Combining his forays into sausage technology and brain surgery on squid and humans. Zim did the impossible and infected the very oceans and rivers that sustained the Earth with a virus that would only be active for 5 hours. Sea creatures began morphing into dancing little sausages and walked onto land. This of course attracted news outlets from around the globe, and Cthulhu mythos cults began believing their savior woke up. The sausages actually only came up on land to do a song and dance number about how much Zim loves Professor Membrane, until they reverted back to their original forms and returned to the waters. It’s titled “Love Is Disgusting (and painful) But You Are Worth It”, written by Gir (there may be a proposal message in the lyrics, it’s being debated on Genius). This marks the only time in history a song became number one in every nation. It brought more peace than Peace Day. Everyone was enamoured with Zim’s and Prof Membrane’s romance (ZaPMr). But this was too much and Prof Membrane tells Zim that he doesn’t have to do this meat gift-giving anymore. Their wedding happens a week afterwards.

(This gift-giving ain’t one-sided dudes, Professor Membrane shares stuff from his “Weapons of DOOm and DOminatiOn” or W-DOODOO folder, along with using Zim’s name to name his most recent greatest inventions to show his appreciation. ZiM likes it. The people of Earth didn’t cuz they didn’t know if the Zim device being referred to was a Super Spatula capable of spatulating 50 patties and chemicals at the same time or the Zero-class Interrogating Manhunter robot beloved by the US Army and endorsed by President Man.)

Zim gets on the news. He gets admirers believing he is the next coming of Fabio, including the gorgeous hair. Many people began emulating ZiM in speech mannerisms cuz ZiM = Love God now, they compare him to Hera (Dib is suffering). Zim goes down Earth’s history as a Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy who respects “Earthen Customs” and wins something like a citizen of the world award. (The vegans were out to harm him but ended up being confused when they see that ZiM refuses to even touch meat, he did all his structures using 12 inch prongs).

[sweetiepie08]

Rebel Z (Chapter 2)

Invader Zim fanfic

While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.

Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?

People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn

If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list please let me know.

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6.  Chapter 7. Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.

[-]

Fabulosa lay just outside of Irkan-controlled space. The planet served as the epicenter of the intergalactic fashion and textiles industry. Its natural vegetation could be spun into a wide variety of luxurious fabrics and the Fabulians learned long ago how to craft the finest garments in the known universe. This made Fabulain clothing highly sought-after and the citizens very wealthy. Naturally, it became a prime target for Irkan conquest.

They tired cycles ago but it stood as a rare marked failure on the Irkan military’s record. The Fabulains knew where their worth lay. When the Armada surrounded them, they threatened to burn their own fields and destroy the secrets of how to cultivate the fiber-producing plants… unless a deal could be struck. And so, the Fabulains and the Irkens signed a treaty which began a mutually-beneficial trade agreement.

Fashion and fibers didn’t interest Tak in the slightest. She was more concerned with what the planet could offer an Irkan on the run. It was outside of Irkan territory, but close enough that the civilization would be familiar. Its technology was advanced, it offered a variety of job opportunities, and the trade agreement allowed for a steady supply of Irkan snacks. It was the perfect place for a deserter to hide.

As she entered the planet’s atmosphere, Tak switched her holo-projector to her Vortian disguise. Lately, she used it more than any other. Irkens, she found, were not well liked by the rest of the universe and, if she was going to survive out here, she needed to build trust. She spent years accruing favors for seedy lifeforms and cashed most of them in when creating her PAK reading software. Skoodge’s favor she had no specific plans for but thought it would be good to keep in her back pocket just in case. It was about to come in handy.

She parked her ship in a public hanger for a massive shopping center and instructed MiMi to wait in there. She then headed straight for the store where her target worked. Sickeningly sweet Fabulain pop music assaulted her antenna the second she walked in the door. The peppy tones from high-pitched singers grated her with their manufactured joy. It was true, Irkens enjoyed sugar, but not like this.

“Hi, welcome to Glitz N’Nat,” a familiar voice chirped beside her.

She turned to see an unusually portly Vortian employee smiling at her.

“My name is Shickil. Is there anything I can help…” his eyes scanned her up and down, “you…” a look of recognition came to his face, “with…?”

“Yes actually,” she said, reaching into a rack. The Vortian gulped. “Do you have any more of these in the back?” She pulled out a random garment. It happened to be a glaringly bright green number with orange feathers framing the neckline. It would figure she’d pull out the ugliest thing in the store.

“There’s a whole bunch right there,” he said, pointing to the rack.

“But not in my size.”

“Actually, that one looks like it would fit.”

She glanced at the garment in his hand. Damn it. It might fit. Her eye twitched. “Maybe you could use some help checking.” She grabbed the employee’s arm and dragged him to the back of the store.

“Hey Tiff,” he called to his Fabulain coworker.

The female specimen flipped her white hair and looked up from the cash register. Her black eyes followed them as they made their way to the storage room.

“I’m going to help this customer in the back real quick, okay?” the Voritan finished.

Tiff giggled and waved a bubblegum pink hand at them. “Okay, have fun with your girlfriend.”

Tak’s insides clenched and she scowled at the Fabulain. Where did that lollipop-head get off mocking her? She had enough on her plate without lower lifeforms ridiculing her about her nonexistent mating practices. Then again, it was better than the time that Urth monkey child implied she was Zim’s mate of all people.

She tossed the Vortian into the storage room and threw the universe’s ugliest dress aside. Once she had the door closed and locked, the two of them disabled their disguises. “What’s this about, Tak?” Skoodge asked, sounding defeated already.

“First of all, why’d that brainless retail drone out there call me your girlfriend?” she demanded, jabbing her thumb at the door.

“Hey, Tiff’s nice,” Skoodge argued. Odd, he never had a backbone before. “Anyway, last time you were here, they asked me who you were and I panicked. Plus, the girls keep trying to set me up with other Vortians and I needed a way to get them off my back.”

“The girls?”

“Yeah, my coworkers.” His face lit up. “Tiff, Brandy, Cheryl, Dionne… Cheryl actually invited me to her baby shower next week. I’m not sure what that entails, but I’m real excited to go.” His eager clasped hands and giant grin attested to his sincerity.

Tak’s eyes narrowed and a sly smile grew on her lips. Skoodge seemed very happy here indeed and it wouldn’t hurt to remind him who was responsible for that happiness. “Seems you’ve cultivated quite the social life here.”

“Yeah, the girls are great! They’re nice to me, we go out all the time, we have a weekly brunch date, and they don’t shoot you out of the airlock if you mess up.”

“Sounds perfect for you,” she agreed. “Of course, you only have this life thanks to the holo-clocking device I made for you.

Skoodge’s excitement quickly drained and he looked down at the device on his wrist. “Please tell me you’re not going to take it away.”

“No, of course not,” she said, putting on her gratingly sweet voice and patting him on the arm. “You can continue to stay here and live your happy little life, but you’ll recall, you promised me a favor when I gave it to you.”

He relaxed slightly. “Okay, what is it?”

“I need to have a look at your PAK.”

He gasped and his hands flew to his back. “What? My PAK? Why?”

“Listen,” she said, all sweetness dropped from her voice, “You know how Zim always seems to come out of every situation relatively unscathed, no matter how destructive?”

“Uh-huh…”

“Well, I wanted to know his secret, so I created a software that I could use to analyze his PAK for answers.”

Skoodge pulled back in shock. “You tampered with his PAK?”

“Analyzed.”

“I can’t believe you tampered with another Irkan’s PAK,” he went on, wringing his hands. “That’s a capital offence.”

“I didn’t tamper I analyzed,” she countered through gritted teeth. “There’s a big difference.”

“Is there?”

“There is. I didn’t change a thing about Zim. I only looked to see if there was anything off about him.”

“And?”

“Defective, obviously, but that’s not the weird part. While I was looking, I saw things that were… strange to say the least, things I didn’t know the PAK influenced. I analyzed my own PAK and saw the same things. I need to see yours to confirm.”

“Why mine?”

“Zim and I are both encoded with menial-level jobs,” she explained, “but you’re still encoded as an invader. I need to see if that encoding makes a difference.”

Skoodge bit his bottom lip and looked away. “I don’t know. I’m not really comfortable letting an admitted tamperer access my PAK.”

“Analyzed,” she corrected again with a hiss. Damn it, how many times? “And don’t forget, you owe me. Think you’d have this lovely, insipid little life without me? Think you’d get that invite to that baby shower as Irkan Invader Skoodge?”

His eyes dropped to the floor. “Fine, I’ll let you analyze my PAK, but you better promise not to change anything.”

“I promise, now come with me. I’ll run the program from my ship. It’s not as powerful as Zim’s base, but I chose some key elements to look at for comparison.”

“We can go out the back, just give me a minute,” Skoodge said, reactivating his disguise. “I need to ask Tiff to cover for me.”

Tak reactivated hers as well and Skoodge went back out onto the shop’s floor. She watched as he talked with his coworker. The two parted with a laugh. “And watch out for flying shoes,” Tiff called as he walked away.

“I will,” Skoodge laughed.

Tak raised an eyelid. “Flying shoes?”

“It’s just an inside joke,” Skoodge replied, the pride in his voice betraying the fact that he’d never been on the inside of any joke before.

Oh and you have? It was true, she never spent much time socializing in her training days. There were more important things to worry about. She was a little busy making herself the best of the best. And what a lot of good that did you, right? Whatever, it was Zim’s fault she never took her rightful place in the Irkan military. If it weren’t for Zim, all that hard work would have paid off. Would it, Defective?

“Can we get this over with, please?” Tak growled. The sooner she figured out what was going on with the PAKs, the sooner she could get back to crushing Zim.

She led Skoodge to her ship in the parking hanger. Once inside, she activated the opaque tinting of the windows, deactivated her disguise, and fired up her computer. “Okay, all I’m going to do is plug into your PAK and read your stats. Got it?”

Skoodge deactivate his disguise as well. “Okay…” he said, still sounding apprehensive.

Tak rolled her eyes and plugged in his PAK. Once in, she saw Skoodge’s ID page come up on her screen.

Name: Skoodge

Age: 16.6

Occupation: Invader

Assignment: Pending

“Hmm…” Her eyes lingered on the “assignment” line. “They never reassigned you after Blorch?”

Skoodge sighed and looked at the ground. “No…”

That was interesting. Typically, after an invader completed their mission, they’d either be assigned to a new planet after a period of rest or rewarded with a cushy retirement. Given Skoodge’s youth, he should have been sent out again. She didn’t need to look further than the expanse of space above his head to guess why he wasn’t.

She pressed on. Unfortunately, her ship’s computer wasn’t powerful enough to run a full error check, but it could take a look at his personality drive. More specifically, she wanted to see the PAK installations and the Irkan traits.

Pak Installations

·        Perseverance: 20/20

·        Loyalty: 5/15

·        Penchant for Destruction: 10/15

·        Susceptibility to Propaganda: 5/15

So, Skoodge’s stats were also out of balance, not quite as bad as Zim’s (or mine), but was this enough to mark him as defective? She swiped over to his Irkan traits.

Irkan Traits

·        Creativity: 10/10

·        Personal ambition: 5/5

·        Need for companionship: 523/0

·        Need for affection: 443/0

·        Sense of individuality: 231/0

·        Individual survival instinct: 4803/10

That confirmed it. Another defective. Interesting. As an invader, his ideal levels may be higher than most, but they still didn’t match up with his actual levels. What were the odds that all three PAKs were defective? Could it be possible that most, if not all PAKs were defective to some degree? No, she couldn’t generalize yet. She only analyzed a small sample size and all three PAKs belonged to Irkans living outside normal society. It was much more likely that defectives tended to live outside the norm and were therefore easier for her to contact. If she wanted definitive answers, she’d need more information, but she couldn’t just go find more Irkens and start analyzing their PAKs. At the very least it’d raise suspicion. At worst, they’d assume treason was afoot. She needed to find another way.

“So? What’d you see?”

Oh right, Skoodge. She nearly forgot he was there. “Well, it looks like you’re defective.”

“What? No!” He jumped toward the screen. “How can this be?”

“My ship isn’t powerful enough for a full diagnostic, but your levels are out of balance,” she explained. “From what I can tell, that’s a sure sign of defectiveness.”

“But I conquered Blorch,” he went on. His hysterical voice was grating on her nerves. “I was the first to complete my mission in Operation Impending Doom 2. How can I-”

“Calm down. At least you’re not as defective as Zim and-” She stopped herself quick. “Anyway, I’m starting to wonder what being a defective really means.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, look at some of this stuff,” she said, gesturing toward the screen. “A functioning PAK will block natural Irkan assets.”

“Not really, I’ve still got some ambition, some creativity…”

“Because you’re an invader. It changes with encoding. A PAK with a low-class encoding has most of these set to 0. It doesn’t make sense. If we are the superior race, why block what makes us superior?”

“Well, I guess an invader would need certain traits to do our jobs…”

“But why just invaders?” she argued. “Why not allow all Irkens access to their natural traits?”

He thought for a moment. “You checked your PAK, right?”

“Yes…”

“So, what did yours say?”

Her lips tightened into a scowl. “We’re getting off the subject. Here, look at your stats,” she said, turning his attention back to the numbers on the screen. “Your survival instinct is much higher than it’s meant to be. That probably kept you alive on Blorch. And your need for companionship drives your desire to socialize. Thanks to that defect, you’ve got your little group of friends here. Would you trade them for a fully functioning PAK?”

“No!” he gasped, looking more devastated than he did when she told him he was defective.

“That’s my point. If defects can bring positive results, are they really defects?”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” he agreed.

There’s something else wrong here, but what? Skoodge, by all accounts should be a war hero. He conquered his planet in less than 0.1 cycles; a record time as far as invasions went. And yet, he was a defective. Did his defects give him the advantage? If that were the case, perhaps her defects helped her rise to the top of her training class. It would make sense. Her supposed defects included having “too much” ambition and “too much” perseverance. Those are the traits that pushed her to excellence.  Surely, they could not be mistakes.

“What about Zim?”

Skoodge’s question broke her from her musings. “What about him?”

“You said he’s defective. If you think defects aren’t that bad…”

“He’s still a walking catastrophe!” she snapped. “I never said all defects were a good thing, just in some cases.”

This did raise an interesting point. Zim, also a defective, without a doubt brought disaster with his every move. Maybe the concept of a defective wasn’t the problem, but how it was measured. Perhaps there was even an issue with the encoding process all together.

She needed to research this future, but she had no idea how. Knowledge on PAK programing was off limits to all but those encoded as PAK maintenance specialists. Even if this information was widely available, she couldn’t show her face in Irkan-controlled space any time soon. Abandoning her post was essentially self-imposed exile. If she didn’t return with a victory that would impress the Tallest, she couldn’t go back at all.

Perhaps solving this mystery could earn her enough glory to pardon her desertion charges and raise her to a rank more worthy of her skills. She could start by researching the history of the PAK, but how?

“So, uh, what’d you go all quiet for?” Skoodge asked, breaking her thoughts once again.

“I was just thinking, where, outside of Irkan territory, I could I go to research PAKs?”

“You could try Refirencee,” Skoodge suggested.

“Where?”

“It’s an info-database planet near Meekrob,” he explained. “They gather the histories and knowledge of all known planets and compile them in one place.”

“Sounds like an obvious target for conquest.”

“Yeah, but it’s under Meekrobian protection, so the plan was to wait until Tenn took Meekrob, then take all the data in the spoils.”

“Hmm…” It was a start at least, though it was suicide for any Irkan to get anywhere near Meekrob these days. Her Vortion disguise and ship should give her enough cover to pass through without suspicion. It worked well enough so far. “Do you know the coordinates for this planet?”

“No, but your ship could have it’s coordinates in its data base. This is a Vortian vessel, after all. The Meekrob only hide the planet from Irkens. Everyone else is free to use it.”

Excellent, a better lead than she expected. “I think we’re done here, Skoodge,” she said, disconnecting his PAK. This favor paid off in spades. “Go, enjoy your baby shower.”

“Thanks.” They reactivated their disguises and Skoodge hopped out of the ship. “And, uh, if you’re ever around, feel free to say hi.”

Tak looked up, the invitation catching her off-guard. “Oh, uh, sure…”

“Bye,” Skoodge gave a little wave and headed back to his job. MiMi returned with a wave of her own.

Tak turned back to her computer. After a quick check for the closest fueling station, she ran a search for the Refirencee coordinates. The search was a success. A holographic diagram of the planet shown from the computer’s projectors.

“Well, MiMi,” she said, smiling at the projection, “it’s time we got some answers.”

[itsdancingdragons]

Space Boy and Freak (Prologue)

Dib Membrane was an interesting, and excitable child. He loved the things no one else believed in, and a lot of the time his interests caused him to be the black sheep of his society. Now, finally, after so long, the proof was within his reach. He had tried everyday for years to expose the alien menace within his neighborhood, and even his skool.

Though no one believed him, he did everything in his power to bring light to the alien. He even put himself in situations that may have taken his life. But still he pursued. Even when his world was being ripped apart and had been teleported to a new place in the universe.

But everything changed. Dib noticed it when he went to skool. The alien wasn't there. He looked everywhere, everyday. Dib even locked himself in his room to study his cameras for hours on end. Only leaving to use the bathroom or eat when his father forced him out of his room. He stayed that way for two months before giving up. Gaz and his father noticed this change. They noticed how he stopped talking about the paranormal, how the trash was constantly full of paranormal posters. The only thing that he dared keep were his computers and even then they were barely ever used anymore. It wasn't until the accident that they were used again.

Dib had just turned 17, he was happy, healthy and even slightly popular. He had gotten himself a girlfriend and even turned his life towards science. His father was proud of him. Even Gaz was proud of him, though she'd never admit it. That morning was like normal. Professor Membrane promised to be home in time to have family dinner. He told his kids to be safe on the drive to skool and to keep making him proud. Dib walked into skool, and was bombarded with his 'friends' and his girlfriend. They walked him to his classes like every other day.

It happened in history. They were learning about how Dib's father made several new advancements towards their lives today, and how that was benefitting the nation. There was an explosion at the lab. Dib felt his stomach roll when he looked out towards the lab. Everyone in the class fell silent and watched the debris fall. Dib was the first out the door to get a better look. Gaz had beat him there, and she was watching with tears streaming her face as the firemen arrived. Dib tried to run in, but police and firemen both stopped him.

"MY FATHER IS IN THERE! LET ME GO!" Dib was screaming, begging to be allowed inside. Gaz came up to him and pulled him away. They waited for hours, finally the paramedics brought out the bodies.

Professor Membrane was one of them.

Gaz and Dib both stood in absolute shock. The funeral was the hardest for both of them. Even if Membrane was a bad father, he was still their father and they loved him. Gaz played her video games to block everything out. Dib almost didn't go. Gaz had to force him to go.

"If I have to go so do you."

"What's the point," Dib flung his bedsheets off to reveal his battle scars, from his younger years and his surgery scars from his transition.

"He's our father, he deserves that much!" Gaz was getting more and more frustrated with her brother everyday. "So, take a shower and get dressed!" Gaz stomped out, slamming the door behind her.

After the accident, and the funeral, Gretchen, Dib's girlfriend, helped him go to therapy for everything that had happened to him in his life. All the trauma he had experienced, and how he now had the legacy of Membrane Labs falling into his lap. It was hard for a newly 17 year old have rested on his shoulders. He managed it though. Three years later adding to the mix that he had twin children wasn't easy either. He struggled and after going through a break up with Gretchen and almost losing the custody battle for his children he fell into a deeper form of depression.

By the time Dib was 27 he was very well known around the world as Professor Membrane's son. The heir to Membrane Labs. The young 12 year old who was interested in the Paranormal no longer existed. He was a full time scientist and he loved his children very much. Even if seeing them was hard to incorporate into his busy schedule. He now understood how his father felt. His daughter obsessed with something that didn’t exist, it was not scientific but Dib did his hardest to make his daughter feel like she was important and loved.

But he couldn't sleep at night without waking up to nightmares of losing his children, or dying in an accident similar to that that took his father's life. Some nights he'd dream about this small green child, the child seemed insane and slightly psychotic. The green child seemed familiar but Dib couldn't place it when he woke up.

On the eve of Dib's 28th birthday, something burst out of the atmosphere onto the Earth. The thing crawled out of their ship, and looked around, nostalgic to what they had left behind so many years ago.

"Zim is back on this filthy planet once more!" Zim, glanced around and seemed excited to be back, "I'm coming for you Dib Membrane."

[drowzydruzy]

heart breakers chapter one

Hi! I finally want to post this here. very long chapter. slow burn. enemies to lovers. angsty.

Dib Membrane has a bright future ahead of him, but a red string of fate always tugs him back to the alien a block over. If only he hadn’t blown it.

The final summer had arrived.

Dib had counted the seconds until he could finally say goodbye to high skool and the horrible place it was. The future was coming, and Dib Membrane was out, that’s right, come fall the local paranormal investigator is going to the next city over to attend college and stay at the dorms. 

The letter had arrived last week, congratulating Professor Membrane for his son’s entry which wasn’t a shock since all the colleges only accepted him due to his father’s celebrity. It wasn’t like Dib had bad grades or anything, in fact, he had put extra effort into his final years grades because the last thing he wanted was to be riding off his dad’s coattails but like everything in Dib’s life; his father got a pat on the back even for Dibs own effort.

He would have cared more but he was going to be a freshman in a place where people didn’t think he was crazy, which was enough to distract the 19-year-old with thoughts of friends and possible relationships? although he did wish his major would be paranormal studies, but since that didn’t exist Dib stuck with space studies. He might not get to report on the paranormal right away, but he could try working it into his papers.

Dib knew when he told his father he’d be disappointed, it wasn’t what Membrane wanted him to do, which was taking over the company but to Dib’s surprise, his father was almost as excited as he was to hear about his choice and acceptance into the college. It made the 19-year-old smile proudly, his dad had really gotten better at the whole ‘being a dad not a scientist 24/7 thing’ since the whole florpus debacle.

Everything seemed to be falling into place, Dib had gotten the placement he wanted, his dad was happy, Gaz was part of a gaming club at high skool and was gaining attention on twitch for her almost completely silent game plays not to mention guys seemed weirdly drawn into how much Gaz seemed to regard everything with disdain. 

Admittedly the male attention had worried Dib a bit at first since he knew what the internet was like and he wasn’t sure he could cope with seeing random people being gross about his sister, but Gaz could handle herself and it was a fact. 

Dib had also managed to finally find a style he liked that didn’t get him patted down before he entered any public building, by the luck of some random god, ripped jeans and darker clothing had come back into style. He found it a lot easier to blend in these days than when he was a kid, Dib still loved his long jackets even though they looked a little sketchy sometimes.

New style, new start, new life, and Dib was more excited than ever, or he should have been. 

That’s right, he should have been over the moon right now since he was finally getting what he wants but that would be too easy for Dib Membrane. He can’t just live a normal life for two seconds. 

Instead of celebrating Dib only could think of one thing.

What about Zim? 

Who will be here to protect the earth?

What if Zim finally tries to kill us all and manages it?

The thoughts plagued his mind to the point where he almost ripped up his acceptance letter, Dib had announced to Gaz that he was convinced he wouldn’t go, that was until she yelled at him for being an idiot. Gaz had asked him when was the last time he even spoke to Zim? Let alone fight him over the safety of the human race? His younger sister had made a very good point. He barely spoke to Zim, not since prom anyway. 

Dib had felt embarrassed to have been so worried, but then every night came the same; Dib staring at the ceiling forcing himself to think of anything or anyone but the alien.

He couldn’t contain the loneliness that rattled in his heart, it was a hollow feeling laying at night listening to the silence of 4am wondering if Zim would miss him, which always made the human cringe with embarrassment at his own pining. Dib would always end up trying to force himself asleep clenching his eyes shut until his stubbornness won and he drifted off.

“You are lying too Zim” 

The voice was distant but happy, swirling in the darkness of the thick fog that stretched out in front of Dib. The human smiled but before he could speak, he heard his own voice disembodied in the distance talking for him.

“I promise I’m not, please trust me” 

The fog was thick, it smelled like candy raspberry pop rocks and something chemical but not unpleasant, Dib could write pages and pages about that smell. 

“I will try” Dib spent a moment lingering on the sound of the voice, the slightly bitter tone made him smile.

Suddenly the human could feel the ground shaking underneath him as the fog cleared, the owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen. The sudden rush of boiling heat made Dib scream, everything was on fire, the scorched earth cracked under Dib’s feet as he tried to outrun death. He managed to get far enough away where he could see standing on top a horrible machine; roaring with evil laughter was Zim. Dib choked on the smoke unable to stop himself shaking in terror.

“YOU DID THIS” Zim’s voice was like an earthquake.

The human jolted up in bed, the morning light was almost blinding through Dib’s shutters. There was a long moment of silence as he tried to regain his breath, these nightmares made no sense sometimes. Dib figured it must be all the pent of emotion. He glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing it was only 8am. Dib laid back down pulling his covers around himself, hiding away from the rays enjoying the darkness in his blankets. 

The 19-year-old’s mind wondered back to the dream, Dib thought of the alien for a long moment as he lay in his blanket cocoon, hidden from the world and from judgement as his mind swirled round images of the invader from treasured memories. The human frowned as he remembered how little they speak now, how when they pass in the halls Zim can’t even meet his eyes.

Dib wondered if Zim ever missed him, missed the fighting and the flying. The human’s ears turned red in the darkness of his blankets as he pictured it, the stubborn and angry alien thinking about him as much as he did. Dib felt the bone weighing loneliness slowly spreading through him as he thought more on his memories with the alien. He wondered if Zim ever did the same.

Dib peaked his head out of his blankets, realising he could already feel that the heat outside was trying to leak through his windows, the small room which Dib had covered in tech and alien-hunting gear was soon to be completely gutted and cleared for his departure. The boxes lay waiting, almost staring at Dib sometimes when he thought of packing, but he always put it off.

He shut his dark eyes, enjoying the quiet sound of his dad and Gaz talking downstairs, as the birds chirped outside. The mornings were always quiet, he’ll miss that the most since college were supposed to be a noisy, mess of filthy students all trying to pretend that they understand what they are doing but at least he won’t be the only one.

Eventually, Dib rose from his bed, loose pyjamas covered in various monsters from classic literature were shucked and thrown into the laundry as he got ready for the day. Dressed, fed and not sure if he’s ready for life yet, Dib left the house. The air felt dry and hot as he soaked in some of the sunlight, it was a strange feeling knowing that this would be the last summer he spent living here.

He was too busy fidgeting with his old blue ghost top, noticing the holes forming at the edge of the fabric that he didn’t mean to start walking to Zim’s home, but he did. They hadn’t spoken much over the last year or so, surprisingly the alien wasn’t as constant in his attempts to take over earth anymore.

After florpus the attempts at ‘taking over the earth’ became more like irritating pranks that didn’t make any sense. Dib had tried to talk to Zim like he was a person, but that was a mistake. He had said things he didn’t mean and it had become a huge mess that leads to tantrums when Dib even tried to speak to him, he always screamed about being able to do it ‘all on his own’ and that he ‘doesn’t need anyone to be Zim’.

The human never understood what was going on with him but after a while, he stopped trying to find out and from then on, their fights had gotten less intense. Zim wouldn’t fight like how he used too, something just wasn’t right. The thought of their old battled made Dib feel almost sad, deep down he missed flying after Zim into space, not a single care in the world.

Dib couldn’t remember the last time he went out of his way to go to Zim’s home, spying on the alien wasn’t a priority when he was having to work 20 hours a week during high skool to save up for the stuff for his dorm not to mention his books. The drift between them wasn’t deliberate but it was inevitable, Zim just wasn’t as big a threat as he was when they were kids.

The human stopped outside the small house that had wired itself into the neighbours surrounding it oh so long ago, the gnomes that stood guard as always were weather-beaten and didn’t pack the punch they used too. Dib paused in his thoughts, why was he sad about that too? That’s a good thing! The 19-year-old side heavily unable to ignore the gathering tightness in his throat. He watched the house for a long moment before something compelled him to move forward, to just go and knock the door. Dib felt his fingers twitch but something in his gut caught him; like crossing a road just as you see the car coming, he jerked back and turned towards home.

 The emotions that came with what could happen if he passed that fresh hold of that house were too confusing and way too deep for what this was, he was always going to leave, and Dib shouldn’t care as much as he does. Zim most likely would celebrate him leaving, laugh in his face and announce victory before running off to destroy the world at last without Dib’s interference. 

Not that Dib gave a shit how the little creature felt, not that he looked so much like a creature these days. The rise in area 51 memes meant everyone started making alien jokes at skool, Zim didn’t seem to care until someone made a joke about his green skin and that was all it took for him to freak out. It was too close of a call; he couldn’t have people comparing him to aliens. 

Dib could only watch with utter glee when someone made the comparison but Zim had rushed out the second the kid spoke, Dib had tried quickly to get everyone thinking about what it means that Zim ran out after being called an alien but like always he was ignored. 

Zim had spent a week out of Skool, refusing to come in even when Dib was banging at his door. It wasn’t until 8:54 am on Tuesday, not that Dib kept this date in his head or anything that Zim finally showed. 

It took the human longer than it should have to notice it was the alien, his green skin had been swapped for a tan complexion, his black hair remained the same, but the eyes didn’t look like fake doll eyes anymore they were realistic although still violet. It was shocking, but so fascinating at the same time to Dib. He couldn’t stop himself that day on complementing Zim on his work, one of Dib’s first mistake.

Dib quickly stopped thinking about that day, that day was just too weird, and it made him uncomfortable. He inwardly wished Zim would have gone back to his old look, but he never did. He hated how much he forgot Zim wasn’t human when he looked like that.

“MARY!” A loud, high pitched voice squealed making Dib jump.  

It to Dib’s surprise was Zim’s robot, something he had barely seen for the last couple of years. The human grimaced down at Gir who was eating what looked like a taco that had been stuffed with octopus. Revolting. Dib not to gag at the smell coming from the dirty dog costume. 

He wondered why he smelled like a burning car as he carefully stepped back trying not to get within grabbing distance to the robot, he tended to leave stains that don’t wash out.

“Get away from me” Dib hissed walking quicker away from the house. “Why are you HERE? YOU WANNA PLAY WITH MASTER”

 The shrieking that came from the robot made the 19-year-old’s teeth stand on edge. Did Gir always sound like that? He halted looking down at the unusually still green dog.

“No, I’m just…walking and enjoying the nice day” Clearing his throat Dib glanced back at Zim’s home, watching it for a second wondering about Zim “Why? Where is the reptile?” 

“I dunno where he is! I puts him in a box but he always escaping, BUT I LOVES HIM!” 

“Urgh no! not your dead iguana” Dib groaned, pulling a hand down his face. “I MEANT WHERE IS ZIM?” He didn’t mean to shout, but he wasn’t feeling up for Gir’s usual behaviours. 

“Oh!” The little robot stared at him for so long Dib felt his anxiety double, he gritted his teeth kneeling and giving it a poke, which resulted in a string of an unknown goo connecting his finger to the robot’s chest.

“Are you finally shutting down?” He asked grimacing as he wiped his finger on the pavement. “Hello? anyone in that hellscape of a motherboard you call a brain?” Dib waited in silence for a moment before Gir’s mouth fell open and four lizards crawled out. 

“I see you in my nightmares sometimes Gir”

The robot only laughed.

Dib sighed getting to his feet, noticing that Gir’s dog suit was smoking slightly. The human turned the small robot around quick which he regretted as soon as he did. Gir was boiling hot under his suit, the robot was usually warm but never like this. Dib blew on his hand feeling a sudden worry grip him, he guessed with the heat and the suit the metal wasn’t really dealing well. It would also explain why Gir wasn’t really moving. The heat must be frying his circuits. 

“Of course, and Zim is nowhere around” Dib was so sick of having to deal with Zim’s messes. “Gir? Are you overheating?” Dib kneeled again, watching the robot as it blinked up at him.

Suddenly the eyes of the dog suit glowed red, a trait Dib often forgot Gir had which made the experience terrifying every single time. The robot saluted Dib, its arm making a horrible crunching sound.

“Status report! MAIN CORE, overheating 81%, 84%, 87%-” Dib watched mouth agape as the eyes changed back “I GONNA EXPLODED”

Dib who had fallen back onto the hot pavement gawked at the robot for a long moment, suddenly scrambling to his feet Dib grabbed up Gir. The heat radiating off it was unbelievable; almost like when you put a bowl in the microwave too long. It was burning his hands in seconds; the human removed his thin black hoodie placing it over his hands as he scooped up the dog and bolted towards the house.

“ZIM! YOUR DOG IS GONNA EXPLODE” He shouted praying that wherever in the house that irritating monster was, he’d hear him and come take the robot away and let him burn his hoodie in peace.

Dib had kicked open the door, the gnomes behind him missing and sparking as he skidded into the base. The door slammed shut behind him, and Dib caught the eyes of Zim who was stood in the kitchen not wearing his disguise with a spoon hanging from his mouth and an ice cream tub in his hand. The irken looked shocked, completely stiff as Dib stood there.

“DROP THE BENNY AND JEFF’S” Dib rushed forward, pushing the robot to Zim who was still staring at him. “IT’S URGENT”

The tub splatted to the floor as the human dropped his burning hoodie down beside it. Zim looked down at Gir with confusion before seeing his condition, he snapped out of it.

“Give me that!” Zim’s voice boomed, Gir was swiftly carried to the fridge and stuffed into the freezer. “He will be fine, he literally bathes in boiling poop cola” Zim’s hands didn’t even burn when holding the robot, it was such a weird sight.

There was a pause as Zim didn’t speak, standing in the kitchen watching Dib who didn’t know what he was waiting, maybe a thank you?  Dib felt his face reddening. The human couldn’t move from the spot, he knew he’d never get an apology, but he still felt owed one.

Dib watched as the alien sneer at him and couldn’t stop himself, feeling a sudden wave of self-righteous rage rise within him, he was so sick of Zim never taking responsibility for anything. What if Gir hadn’t been found in time? He didn’t even want to think about it.

“Don’t tell me what to do alien!” Dib spat back at him once the shock had worn off “I’m not the one letting my robot run around overheating, we both know he could easily blow up half of the city if he did!” 

“Don’t try and lecture me HUMAN, he is fine! Like Zim said Gir has handled worse” It was a matter of fact the way Zim spoke, always implying Dib’s an idiot, it made him grit his teeth in frustration. “Go pack for your stupid baby ghost cult or whatever”

Dib was about to dish out another insult before he paused, raising an eyebrow at the alien who was sneering at him and knawing at the popsicle.

“Are you talking about scary camp? I only did that one year…” Dib forgot about that, the summer he and Zim spent at camp together.  “I’m not 12, I’m getting my stuff for college later today”

The invader almost dropped his popsicle.

“College?”

Dib watched as Zim’s eye’s scrutinised him with the same fire he’d seen a long time ago, he felt excitement and fear like he had lit a fuse.

“Yeah…I was gonna mention it eventually since we have um history and stuff” Dib felt sweat beading at his temple, that was a very weird choice of words Membrane. 

The silence wasn’t what Dib had expected, Zim who had been in the process of devouring the popsicle by biting off pieces with his teeth and chewing like the horrible little creature he was, hadn’t moved a muscle. Zim blinked at him almost like how Gir had until it suddenly warped into a look of mild amusement.  

“There’s no college in our town stupid pig stink” Zim snickered and spat his stripy thin tongue at him “Zim doesn’t fall for your little dumb lies”

“Not lies, I’m not going to college in this town…” Dib spoke slowly, an uncomfortable feeling in him began gnawing at his stomach. “It’s a college that’s only three hours away, so it’s not a big deal”

The smug smirk was slipping off Zim’s face, Dib felt something tugging inside in chest, something that was telling him to comfort the alien but as soon as the human got close Zim almost fell trying to back away. Dib felt his throat tighten but he ignored it. The invader suddenly burst into a strained laughter, shaking his head at Dib who just looked as bewildered as he felt.

“WAIT! It’s one of those human, lie, joke, thingies I hate” Zim laughed but it didn’t sound right, Dib felt himself squirm slightly with guilt, he didn’t understand why. 

“It really…not” 

“It is”

“Zim, I’m sorry I didn’t know how to tell yo-”

“Why would you need to tell Zim?” 

The alien looked frantic but in his own unbelievable ‘I’m not frantic at all’ way, Dib couldn’t hold back the panic in his chest as the unwelcome feelings towards what this could mean for them devoured his mind in ways he only let happen at night when he could let himself think about it, but this was all too overwhelming.

“I should go, I haven’t even started packing yet-” Dib’s voice was weak before Zim suddenly lashed out at him, aggressively moving toward him.

“I’m going to blow up the whole of this neighbourhood with splodie gel pizza” He was lying and they both knew it, Zim was now clawing the air with rage, his antennas pulled back 

“Did you know that Dib? DID YOU? NO! Because you don’t speak to Zim, you spend all day at that filthy jurb.”

“Job,” Dib interjected meekly.

“ZIM DOESN’T CARE” The alien looked like he was hyperventilating, the feeling of dread was rising in the human. He shouldn’t have come here; he could have waited longer. “ARE YOU THE DECAF? CAN YOU NOT HEAR ZIM, I’M GOING TO KILL EVERYONE DIB”

“Okay but you haven’t hurt anyone but me in years…”

“I’M GOING TO KILL-”

They spoke almost in unison, but Zim cut off and suddenly Dib realized that was the wrong thing to say as soon as the words left his mouth. Zim’s murderous expression slowly slipped off his face, it was replaced by something that looked like a betrayal as his shout died in his throat.

“Zim isn’t a threat anymore hm?” The words clawed at Dib’s insides; he really thought the alien would have laughed but this was worse, so much worse. “Is that why you ignore me now? Is that why you stopped fighting Zim? You ABANDONED me and now you are running off further away” 

“I did NOT abandon you” The 19-year-old was baffled by him, his hands shooting out at his sides as he gestured wildly. “I haven’t done ANYTHING wrong; you are always so manipulative! you NEED to be the one wronged, but I didn’t stop fighting either, you where the one who backed off”

“That’s hilarious, Zim backing off? What on irk would make ME do that? That is utter lies, stupid lies” Dib curled his hands into fists getting into his face.

“It’s lies huh? Then where did the plans go? HUH? Where did all the organ harvesting plants, zombie virus outbreaks, people devouring monsters, mass-murdering plots go HUH? HUH?”

“I used to fly into SPACE after you, run after you as far as you’d go to stop your stupid schemes that always, ALWAYS lead to me getting hurt or worse! But I still chased you, so what happened?” Dib’s chest ached painfully at the memories; space was all he ever thought about. 

“BUT WAIT I KNOW!” He continued, eyes burning hot with tears as he desperately tried to hold himself together. Dib knew he couldn’t get deeper into this or he might end up regretting it, but he couldn’t shut up. “Your leaders vanished, you lost your mind, I didn’t want to be involved and then I got a job and you lost your edge”

Dib was panting, breathing faster than he ever had as the shout left burning heat in his throat, he had gotten into Zim’s face as quickly as his anger had risen, the rage he had bottled away had festered into something ugly and painful. He hated that it always seemed to be only Zim who could get him to open, but like an infected wound inside Dib was just poison.

The irken was watching him with his narrowed fuchsia eyes, his sneer showing his teeth. Dib tried to keep getting angry but something in him faltered for a second as he realised Zim was shaking.

“Zim I-”

“Why did the evil Zim do any of that to this innocent human? Hm? Why would I try and kill you when I hadn’t tried anything that serious in a while, oh! what happened to Zim’s plots? Hmm?” 

The alien acted like he was genuinely thinking about it, like it was some sort of game show and not a conversation about feelings and events buried so deeply in Dib’s stomach that he thinks he might’s vomit.

“Please don’t do this”

“No Dib thing, shut your mouth! you asked Zim what happened to all of my amazing plans and plots? But you were there!” The irkens pak leg extended from his back, Dib didn’t even notice until he was pinned against the wall painfully. “You seem to forget something, Dib! You stopped fighting first, so you tried talking to Zim remember? so we talked, then we made a plan…”

“Let go!”

“I should really say you made a plan, Dib.”

The hurt in Zim’s voice was something that threw Dib off completely, they shared a long stare. Dib’s mind screamed for Zim not to mention what he could see was burning behind his eyes, he didn’t want Zim to talk about it. Dib felt heat seeping through his skin, agonizing shame.

“Zim waited for you in the woods for so long” Zim spoke slowly, painfully. 

“STOP IT”

“Does the Dib not remember what was said? what YOU promised?” Zim began, the human grabbed at the pak legs desperately trying to pry them away from himself but as soon as he touched them Zim moved a spare under others chin threateningly.

Dib didn’t want to think about it, he was stupid and made a terrible choice all because he thought earth didn’t deserve protection anymore. He was so beaten down, so tired of begging for everyone to open their eyes and look at the truth, the world didn’t want the truth. He knew that now of course, but back then it had taken its toll on him and he made a deal he shouldn’t have.

“I told you it was a mistak-”

Dib’s words died in his throat when he felt Zim’s pak legs let go of him, the invader watched him for a long second before shaking his head.

“A mistake was ever letting you near Zim” His voice was heavily laced with malice as he walked towards the fridge to get transported to the base. “Get out before I put a blaster hole in that massive head of yours”

Dib didn’t need to be told twice; he was gone before his mouth could say something else stupid. Zim had been bottled up in the human’s mind for a while since prom he couldn’t let himself get to close again. Dib had hoped to avoid the memory, but it was haunting him.

[gaz-n-gretch]

A first meeting

Gretchen walked in the living room, dolled up in a light pink dress with purple polka dots. Gaz lounged on the couch in a slightly too big t-shirt and shorts playing Stay Alive. A simple Zombie-based shooter on the TV.

“Uh, hi.” Gretchen hadn’t really introduced herself to Dib’s family yet, they had only been dating a few weeks after all. “I’m-”

Gaz sighed and looked up from her game, “Gretchen right? Dib’s not home yet. Something about Zim’s new scheme.” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh,” Gretchen said quietly, “Would you mind.” She pointed at the couch. Gaz grunted and she took that as a yes. She watched Gaz play for a while, the small movements of her body when she shot, as if her leaning would help the character move. The slight turn of her lips when she made a particularly good movement. It was cute in its own way. 

Gretchen then heard her growl. A large bright red Zombie’s body filled the screen as he gave an evil laugh. “This,” Gaz said, “I hate this boss. They just swarm you with enemies instead of having a REAL boss battle.”

Gretchen laughed, “Yeah, it took me like 3 days to get past this one.”

Gaz paused the game and moved towards her, “Wait, hold up. You play Stay Alive?”

Gretchen nodded, “YEAH! The story mode is so much fun, I love Lorina.”

“She’s pretty badass.”

Gretchen finger gunned, “But she has a caring side too. Oh Gosh when they killed her dog in that cut scene.”

“The writers were absolutely trying to manipulate us emotionally. Introducing a dog just to kill it off.”

Gretchen put her hand to her chest, “But it still hurt! I was crying for days.”

Gaz snorts, “Whimp.” She shoots the head off of one of the Boss’s soldier’s head. There’s a short silence before Gaz continues, “You know he probably forgot about the date entirely.”

Gretchen sighs, “Yeah, that’s Dib for you. I’m not exactly a memorable person anyway.”

Gaz doesn’t look at her, the boss’s head exploded and they both whooped in unison. “... Since Dib’s not showing up, Stay Alive has a multiplayer?” 

Gretchen’s face lit up, “Oh hell yeah!”

Hours passed and Dib never arrived, but Gretchen didn’t consider it a waste of a day. Far from it, Gaz was sweet in her own way. And as she walked home she started to look forward to spending more time with her.