#devils primer

[stereax]

likes and reblogs highly appreciated here!!! spent a ton of time on this, hope it shows!

(and kudos to the discord crew who put up with me spamming them with pages of this and giving me the thumbs-up about it - love you all!!!)

let's go devils!!!

[hugheschierdaddy]

every person in the new jersey devils organization is shown this primer on their first day

(timo and jesper bring snacks for the presentation)

they’re so obsessed with each other that they come with an official warning

a fact that jack is very proud of

[basicallyanotherwitchesthing]

Suzi Quatro - Devil Gate Drive - Columbia rec. - 1974

[maeshelix]

Just watched the first half of Chainsaw Man with a dear friend, haven't even touched the manga, but I already know for a fact that Kobeni is the Gun Devil.

Mark my fucking words on this, it's the only answer that makes sense.

[reachartwork]

PLEASE JUST LET ME EXPLAIN REDUX

AI {STILL} ISN'T AN AUTOMATIC COLLAGE MACHINE

I'm not judging anyone for thinking so. The reality is difficult to explain and requires a cursory understanding of complex mathematical concepts - but there's still no plagiarism involved. Find the original thread on twitter here; https://x.com/reachartwork/status/1809333885056217532

A longpost!

This is a reimagining of the legendary "Please Just Let Me Explain Pt 1" - much like Marvel, I can do nothing but regurgitate my own ideas.

You can read that thread, which covers slightly different ground and is much wordier, here; https://x.com/reachartwork/status/1564878372185989120

This longpost will; Give you an approximately ELI13 level understanding of how it works Provide mostly appropriate side reading for people who want to learn Look like a corporate presentation

This longpost won't; Debate the ethics of image scraping Valorize NFTs or Cryptocurrency, which are the devil Suck your dick

WHERE DID THIS ALL COME FROM?

The very short, very pithy version of *modern multimodal AI* (that means AI that can turn text into images - multimodal means basically "it can operate on more than one -type- of information") is that we ran an image captioner in reverse.

The process of creating a "model" (the term for the AI's ""brain"", the mathematical representation where the information lives, it's not sentient though!) is necessarily destructive - information about original pictures is not preserved through the training process.

The following is a more in-depth explanation of how exactly the training process works. The entire thing operates off of turning all the images put in it into mush! There's nothing left for it to "memorize". Even if you started with the exact same noise pattern you'd get different results.

SO IF IT'S NOT MEMORIZING, WHAT IS IT DOING?

Great question! It's constructing something called "latent space", which is an internal representation of every concept you can think of and many you can't, and how they all connect to each other both conceptually and visually.

CAN'T IT ONLY MAKE THINGS IT'S SEEN?

Actually, only being able to make things it's seen is sign of a really bad AI! The desired end-goal is a model capable of producing "novel information" (novel meaning "new").

Let's talk about monkey butts and cigarettes again.

BUT I SAW IT DUPLICATE THE MONA LISA!

This is called overfitting, and like I said in the last slide, this is a sign of a bad, poorly trained AI, or one with *too little* data. You especially don't want overfitting in a production model!

To quote myself - "basically there are so so so many versions of the mona lisa/starry night/girl with the pearl earring in the dataset that they didn't deduplicate (intentionally or not) that it goes "too far" in that direction when you try to "drive there" in the latent vector and gets stranded."

Anyway, like I said, this is not a technical overview but a primer for people who are concerned about the AI "cutting and pasting bits of other people's artworks". All the information about how it trains is public knowledge, and it definitely Doesn't Do That.

There are probably some minor inaccuracies and oversimplifications in this thread for the purpose of explaining to people with no background in math, coding, or machine learning. But, generally, I've tried to keep it digestible. I'm now going to eat lunch.

Post Script: This is not a discussion about capitalists using AI to steal your job. You won't find me disagreeing that doing so is evil and to be avoided. I think corporate HQs worldwide should spontaneously be filled with dangerous animals.

Cheers!

[withwritersblock]

Champagne Supernova

~Champagne Supernova by Oasis~

Author's note: this is inspired by the TV show My Mad Fat Diary because I was listening to this song and reminded me of the whole show. So this is loosely inspired by Rae and Finn. So this plus size reader :) Summary: Luke comforts Y/N after being nervous about being seen together.

Warnings: some triggering language regarding weight and personal image Word Count: 1,566 Luke Hughes x plus size fm!reader

She stared at her reflection contemplating if the New Jersey Devils sweater on her body was too tight. She tugged it at different places before she let out a groan. She moved towards her vanity, she sat down and pulled a headband on her head to pull her hair away from her face to get her makeup on.

Tomorrow is the stadium series for the New Jersey Devils and her long-term boyfriend Luke. They’ve been together ever since freshman year of high school. She tapped the small button beneath her vanity mirror to turn on the bright light to help her put her makeup on. 

She had soft music playing in the background as she slowly began to add primer to her skin. Luke knocked on the bedroom door before peeking his head into their shared bedroom. He smiled as he saw the hints of the forty-three on the back.

“Devils stuff looks good on you,” he mumbled as he leaned down and ran his hands from her shoulder down her sides. He delicately pressed his lips to the top of her head. She smiled softly as she began dabbing her face with her beauty blender. “I’m excited to show you off to my teammates,” he muttered before he flopped down on the beanbag sitting beside the vanity.

He tilted his head back against the wall as he admired her features. 

She has always been plus sized, well before they were in a relationship together. Luke has always found her the most beautiful girl in the world. They had three classes together their freshman year and Luke spent the majority of the first semester trying to convince her to go on a date with him.

In all honesty from the first time he asked her out, she was convinced he was doing it as a joke. It was hard to believe a handsome tall, athletic man like Luke would want someone like her. She never found herself pretty because of her weight. How could someone like him ever want someone like her?

But he did, and he spent months trying to prove to her how genuine he was. It took four months for her to finally say yes. He had spent every moment he could making sure she was happy and she was loved.

He’s been in love with her since the moment he saw her and six years later nothing has changed. At least he thought nothing had changed. 

After being drafted for the NHL and officially playing for the team this season; Y/N has felt something shift in her confidence. She’s never wavered in her confidence level throughout their relationship. The occasional thought that he was staying with her out of convenience would come into her mind. But Luke would look at her with the same look he did the first time he said ‘I love you’ and the thought would disappear. 

The more she started going to his games, she noticed the size of the other girlfriends of the players. How much more petite and bleached blonde they looked. It was hard to go up and say she was also dating one of the players. So, she never did. She would stay in the stands and watch instead of the WAGs suite.

“You’re staring,” she mutters as she begins to powder her features. 

“I don’t see you enough anymore, I miss looking at ya,” he mutters as he delicately tapped his knee against her side. She smiled softly as she continued her makeup routine. 

She felt her heart race as she continued to do her makeup. “I miss looking at you too,” she mumbled. He stood up slowly. He towered over her as he leaned down, she tilted her head back to meet his gaze. He took a hold of her chin, smiling softly as he leaned down and delicately kissed her.

He pulled away, only for a moment before he kissed her again. “Lukey,” she mumbled against his lips. He took a deep breath before pulling away only a few inches.

“I know,” he mumbled, “You have to get ready,” he let out before he planted another kiss on her lips before he slowly began to walk away. “I’m going to take a quick shower, my love,” he smiled towards her as he left the bedroom. 

It took another thirty minutes before she was done with her makeup, she was unsatisfied with how it looked. Nothing seemed to make her look how she wanted to. Her makeup wasn’t sitting right and her hair was not looking how she wanted it to. She stood in front of the mirror as she ran her hand over her sides. The curves weren’t in the right spot, nothing seemed to make her look good or feel confident. 

He knocked on the door again before he entered the room wearing the red and black Devils beanie and the bright red zip up. She forced a smile on her lips as she met his eye through the mirror. “You look beautiful,” he said as he shut the door behind him as he walked towards her. She clenched her jaw as she pursed her lips forward. He squinted his eyes, “What’s on your mind?” he asked as he delicately placed his hands on her hips. She pulled away from him, blinking rapidly.

“I don’t know if I should go,” she mumbled. His face fell as he watched her walk towards the bed.

“Why not?” he asked barely above a whisper. She pulled her lips together as she kept her gaze on the small blanket in front of her.

“Luke, there’s going to be cameras,” she let out, her voice breaking.

“So?” he pleated, “I want them to meet you! I’m always bragging about my super amazing girlfriend and they keep wanting to meet you!” he expressed, delicately reaching his hand to take a hold of her arm. She pulled her arm away from his grasp.

“And what are they going to think when they look at me?” she countered, turning her gaze to meet his eye. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

“Why do you care about what they think?” he asked, gesturing behind him. Her lips began to quiver as she tilted her head back.

“Because do you know how much better you could do than me?” she offered, her lips quivering. He shook his head while pursing his lips forward. “You’re a professional athlete, you could easily get some celebrity who’s skinny and pretty-”

“Where’s all of this coming from?” Luke asked, shaking his head. She paused as her mind was racing. “Y/N, since when did you think about stuff like that?”

“I’ve always thought about stuff like that! Every time we take a picture I think about how people will look at it and think,  “What’s he doing with that ugly fat ass, he could do so much better.” Fan girls are ruthless, Luke! I don’t want them to look at me and think-”

“I don’t care about what they think!” he shouted back. She rolled her eyes while letting out a huff of air.

“I do!” she yelled back. 

“The only two opinions that should matter are mine and yours!” He took a step towards her, looking deeply into her teary eyes. “I look at you and all I see is the most beautiful girl in the world!” 

“You know that’s not true,” she let out while shaking her head.

“That’s my opinion! I get to decide who I think is beautiful. I get to decide who I want to love! You have no idea how I see you. You are beautiful and sexy and smart and you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Y/N. That’s the opinion that should matter, not what some fourteen year old girl says in a Tiktok comment,” he explained while scanning her features. 

She smiled softly as he spoke. “I love you,” she let out quietly as her voice broke. He smiled softly as he engulfed her in a hug, she blinked harshly as she leaned her head against his chest.

They hugged for a few more seconds before she pulled away, he waited until she was ready to separate. She looked into his eyes before she wiped the small tears that fell on her cheek. Her gaze looked towards the beanie that was too big for his head and a chuckle fell from her lips. 

“What?” he asked, chuckling.

“You look like the Cat in the Hat with that,” she let out as she pointed towards the hat. He rolled his eyes playfully as he wrapped his arms around her waist as he rocked her back and forth.

“The what? The what?” he asked teasingly as he swayed them back and forth. A laugh fell from their lips as he slowly pulled away from her. “You ready?” he muttered. 

“Let me fix this,” she motioned towards the small smears of mascara beneath her eyes. His mouth fell open shortly before it clammered shut. “I’ll be ready in five minutes,” she mumbled before pressing her lips against his cheek.

“Okay, Darling,” he muttered with a wide smile before he plopped down on the beanbag chair. She stared towards him suspiciously. “I like watching you do your makeup,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes as she smiled towards him before she sat back down at her vanity.

[britcision]

So I’ve been thinking about cultural Christianity lately and how people tend to get very upset about it without really understanding what it is, so here is a primer

Cultural Christianity is not a choice you make. It does not mean you are Christian, or even that you remotely like Christianity; a lot of people who vehemently hate the religion do so because of their own cultural Christianity

It is not a shortcoming, or a moral failing, or a sin. It just means that the culture you were raised in was predominantly Christian.

Note: I did not say “majority Christian”. Christians don’t need to be a majority to have a dominant cultural influence

Cultural Christianity means you inherently understand and probably use swearwords like “damn”, “hell”, or a variation on the name “Jesus Christ”

It means when I say cultural Christianity is not a sin, you understand exactly what I mean without needing to have it explained - and you probably know the phrase “original sin” or “seven deadly sins”, even if not in full detail

It means hearing about Hades, god of the dead, wealth, and volcanoes, and assuming he’s the bad guy of Greek mythology… y’know, like Satan

(EVERYONE went to Hades when they died. The Elysian Fields, where the best heroes went, was in Hades’ underworld. The Eleusinian mysteries, a cult to Demeter and Persephone, was basically about asking them to tell Hades to give you a cool afterlife

And he would cuz he drank his “respect wife” juice if not all of his “respect women” juice. Did still kidnap her. But she is a major feature and often makes the decision herself or influences his when they’re mentioned together

Meanwhile, people try and cast Zeus as a good parent)

It means having to have a dreidel, a menorah, or a kinara explained to you at a time when you already knew about Christmas trees and Santa

(Yes, Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas, major host of the Mass of Christ, is culturally Christian. Even though Coke invented his aesthetic - that’s the “cultural” part)

It’s when you go to make up a new non-religious or pan religious winter celebration… that is centred around a day with family and gifts which is obviously the 25 of December. Maybe counting down 12 days before

It’s defaulting to calling a place of worship you don’t know the name of a “church”

Cultural Christianity is not something people have a choice in; you don’t pick where you’re born, and there are so many other cultures in places like Canada, America, and Britain that are culturally Christian out the ass! But… you will catch Contact Christianity in any of these places

It’s damn near impossible to consume any American or most Western media without brushing across it; cross imagery is everywhere, Christian demons and devils sneak into media all around the world

Western (and some other) Gothic fashion leans heavily on gothic architecture and, yeah, heavily Catholic imagery

Now, brushing across the media in other parts of the world does not impart the same level of cultural Christianity as growing up in a city with four churches on a single block and a Santa Claus parade

And you can grow up heavily in an entirely different culture even in the Bible Belt (but you know what Bible Belt means); you don’t have to abandon all other culture just because Christianity has a chokehold on your home

But when December (or fucking November these days) hits and you hear Mariah Carey in 3/6 stores, yes, you probably have some cultural Christianity

You sure as hell don’t need to be able to name half the denominations (can you name more than 4?), you may never set foot in a Christian church in your life, and still have a cultural Christian influence

If your street names have “saint” in them

If there are crosses or angels on more than half the graves in a cemetery

If you know how to cross yourself but aren’t really sure when you learned; you didn’t look it up or do research to find out

Now note: none of these have an inherent moral judgement attached to them

It’s just about what the culture you live in has taught you about the world, and there’s no culture that is magically the Right One or better than the others

There’s no reason to expect even specifically Christian culture to be the same around the world; it isn’t. It has the same root, but what flowers from the soil is another matter entirely

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you have culturally Christian influences and biases; being human is 90% absorbing information from the world around us and half processing it at best - there’s just too much input, and intentionally filtering out Everything Christian Ever?

Well unless you started at 2 years old, odds are pretty good it’s not really a personal choice kinda thing

And you cannot compensate for these influences unless you acknowledge that they exist, that you did not choose to form them, and that you do get to choose how they affect your actions going forward

Christmas stuffed a bunch of other religious traditions into a single package to make itself popular, but if you learned them as Christmas traditions first… do I even need to say it?

[deepinsideyourbeing]

He calls me the Devil (I make him wanna sin) - Enzo Vogrincic

+18! Needy!Enzo (unos segundos de Sub!Enzo, parpadeen y se lo pierden). Biting, choking, creampie, fingering, masturbación, (breves descripciones de) plus size!reader, sexo oral, sexo sin protección, (kind of) semi-public sex, spit kink, edades no especificadas. Uso de español rioplatense.

El vestido fue idea de Enzo.

Luego de un par de días viéndote batallar frente al espejo e intentando consolarte cuando la frustración te vencía, recordó que la caja que contenía la prenda estaba sepultada en alguna parte del armario. Enzo odiaría que lo malinterpretes y no tiene absolutamente nada en contra de la chaqueta y el pantalón de cuero que pretendías combinar con un top burdeos, pero…

-No, no sé- recuerda cómo empujaste el vestido contra su pecho-. ¿No te parece que es mucho?

-¿Para mí…? Es poco- bromeó,  refiriéndose sutilmente a los atuendos  mucho más atrevidos y extravagantes que utilizaste en ámbitos mucho menos formales.

-No son los Oscar, Enzo, es un concierto de música clásica.

-¿Y?- se mordió el labio-. ¿No te gustó el vestido? ¿Es eso?

-Me encantó, amor, pero…

La inseguridad ensombreció tu rostro por un breve momento, evocando el recuerdo del día en que le enseñaste el vestido en una página web: las únicas fotos exhibiendo el producto eran de modelos utilizando la talla small, un detalle recurrente que te aquejaba a la hora de buscar ropa. Aún puede oír la forma en que suspiraste, entre harta y triste, antes de cerrar la página y bloquear la pantalla de tu celular para arrojarlo sobre la cama.

Normalmente Enzo no se habría atrevido a husmear en tus dispositivos electrónicos, pero esa noche luego de ver tu decepción decidió revisar tu historial. A falta de una referencia fotográfica, optó por confiar en que uno de los talles se correspondía con tus medidas.

-Te queda hermoso- insistió, sosteniéndolo con delicadeza entre sus manos-. Dale, probátelo otra vez.

La forma en que te sonrojaste le pareció tierna, un tanto divertida considerando el tiempo que llevaban juntos y la inocencia del cumplido en comparación con los comentarios que guardaba para otros momentos, los cuales hacían que la sangre de tu cuerpo ardiera no sólo en tus mejillas. Observó cómo deslizabas las tiras de tu camisón por tus hombros y su respiración se entrecortó cuando vio tus pechos desnudos.

El vestido se adhería a tu cuerpo como una segunda piel, los tonos rojos de la seda resaltando tu figura y volviéndote la viva imagen de lo que Enzo llamaría la perdición.

Ahora ese recuerdo lo atormenta y se obliga a mantener las apariencias, ocultando su erección con el programa del concierto y agradeciendo por la tenue iluminación de la sala. Intenta distraerse observando los detalles del lugar, tal como lo hizo desde que llegaron al Auditorio Nacional, y por unos instantes la sincronización en los arcos de la sección de cuerdas de la orquesta es más que suficiente para cautivarlo.

Es entonces cuando siente que te movés en tu asiento y sus ojos se centran en tu figura. Tus manos se encuentran entrelazadas sobre tu regazo, cubiertas por unos delicados guantes de largo asimétrico, y al ver tus dedos jugando distraídamente con el papel no puede evitar pensar en lo bien que se verían envueltos sobre su miembro, su semilla arruinando la seda que oculta tu piel.

El súbito aplauso del público lo saca de sus cavilaciones y está a punto de sumarse al mismo, pero tu mano se cierra sobre la suya a modo de advertencia. Si la calidez de tu palma empeora su estado, la forma en que el vestido abraza la curva de tu abdomen y resalta tus pechos es prácticamente una sentencia de muerte.

-Todavía no- aclarás, señalando con la cabeza hacia el escenario-. Falta uno más.

El primer movimiento de la Serenata para cuerdas de Tchaikovsky le pareció sublime, ¿pero el cuarto…? Le resulta eterno y le cuesta horrores mantener la concentración, por lo que se muerde los labios hasta sentir el gusto metálico de la sangre en su lengua. Comienza a mover la pierna y tu mano acaricia su muslo -probablemente interpretando su agitación como nerviosismo o ansiedad- en un gesto que debería ser tranquilizador, pero que es en realidad todo lo contrario.

La preocupación en tus ojos es evidente cuando encuentran la mancha escarlata en sus labios y te inclinás para examinar el daño, ignorando que el ángulo le permite ver tu escote y el sostén de encaje rojo que contrasta con tu tono de piel. Es el mismo rojo que tiñe tus labios y que difuminaste en tus pómulos, el mismo rojo que en alguna ocasión utilizaste para dejar la marca de tus besos en su pecho, su abdomen y…

Se siente culpable cuando acerca sus labios a tu oído y susurra:

-¿Me acompañás?

La obra concluye y Enzo aprovecha el momento en que otro músico, un pianista, entra en escena. Toma tu mano y te arrastra hacia las puertas de la sala, más de una mirada curiosa posándose sobre ambos y algunos susurros, que te hacen sentir más insegura de lo que lo hicieron a tu llegada: Enzo juró que te miraban porque “¿Cómo no te van a mirar? Si estás hermosa”, pero vos no estás convencida de que ese fuera el motivo.

Ambos llegan a un corredor desierto y cuando Enzo tira de tu mano para guiarte hacia una puerta lateral, lo seguís al interior de la habitación sin hacer preguntas. Te sorprenden los estuches de instrumentos vacíos, desperdigados por doquier, y estás a punto de comentar que la puerta no debería estar sin seguro, pero el ataque de algún instrumento de viento -que no distinguís- en la habitación contigua hace que te sobresaltes.

-¿Qué pasó?- preguntás, recordando el motivo por el cual abandonaron el concierto. Cuando tomás la mejilla de Enzo para examinar su herida, sus dedos aprisionan tu muñeca-. ¿Qué…?

Dirige tu mano hacia su erección, cubierta por un costoso pantalón, sus ojos fijos en tu rostro para examinar tu reacción: tus labios se separan lo suficiente para permitirle ver tus dientes y tu respiración se torna agitada en un abrir y cerrar de ojos, obligándolo a admirar cómo el movimiento hace que tus pechos suban y bajen. Su mirada desciende hasta llegar a tu cadera y sus manos siguen el mismo camino, masajeando con fuerza tu cuerpo antes de atraerte hacia el suyo.

Soltás un gemido y, en algún recóndito lugar de tu mente, te preguntás si las personas presenciando el concierto pueden oírte con la misma claridad con la que oís el piano en este momento.

-¿Ves lo que me hacés…?- pregunta. Besa tu mejilla y sus labios trazan una línea hasta tu cuello, sus besos húmedos y su aliento cálido repercutiendo en tus sentidos-. Desde que llegamos estoy así.

El sonido del seguro llega a tus oídos.

-¿Qué hice?- fingís inocencia.

Su mano se cierra sobre tu cuello y vuelve a besarte, la intensidad de sus acciones provocando que sus dientes rasguen tu labio inferior y su lengua haciéndote gemir cuando invade el interior de tu boca. Se aferra a la parte más ancha de tu cadera con fuerza, como si la cercanía entre ambos no fuera ya suficiente, y su otra mano baja la cremallera de su pantalón.

El sonido provoca un cosquilleo entre tus piernas y mirás a Enzo de manera provocadora mientras tirás del botón de la prenda, la cual cede levemente dejando ver una franja de su ropa interior. Recorrés la tela visible con tu dedo antes de llevártelo a la boca, capturando la seda entre tus dientes para retirar el guante.

-No- te interrumpe-. Dejátelos puestos.

Le dirigís una sonrisa, intrigada y más que excitada por la situación y su petición. Tu mano colándose bajo su ropa interior hace que se muerda el labio y una expresión de dolor atraviesa su rostro, pero cuando cerrás tus dedos sobre su miembro esa expresión se transforma en placer y arroja la cabeza hacia atrás. Comenzás a masturbarlo con lentitud, tu oído atento a la orquesta percibiendo también el sonido de su piel y la aceleración de su respiración.

En cuestión de minutos y bajo las caricias que le suministran tus manos, Enzo se convierte en un desastre: sus dedos se clavan en tu carne y tenés que esforzarte para lograr mantener el ritmo de tus movimientos, el líquido preseminal brotando de su punta humedeciendo cada vez más tu guante y tus dígitos, y su miembro palpita desesperadamente en busca de alivio.

Te detiene antes de que sea demasiado tarde y te guía hacia el pequeño sofá en la esquina de la habitación, apartando unas partituras olvidadas sobre este para tomar asiento y señalar el lugar entre sus piernas. Obedecés inmediatamente, como siempre, y luego de ayudarlo a deshacerse de su pantalón y su ropa interior Enzo decide tirar de la cremallera de tu vestido y despojarte de tu sostén, liberando tus pechos.

Tomás su miembro entre tus manos para centrarte en su extensión mientras tus labios se acercan a la punta para besarla con delicadeza una y otra vez. Su excitación brilla bajo las luces de la habitación y es adictiva cuando el sabor invade tu lengua, haciéndote gemir cuando lo introducís en tu boca y provocando que las vibraciones amenacen con llevar a Enzo al borde del orgasmo nuevamente.

Sus caderas se mueven en contra de su voluntad y su punta golpea tu garganta, llenando tus ojos de lágrimas que rápidamente comienzan a deslizarse y humedecer tus mejillas. Te separás de Enzo, ya que no estás dispuesta a arruinar todo tu maquillaje, pero la solución que encontrás logra arrancar un gemido de su boca antes de que pueda procesar la imagen frente a él.

-Dios…- dice entre dientes, cubriendo su rostro con una mano luego de ver cómo rodeás su miembro con tus pechos y escupís sobre su punta. Recuerda todas las ocasiones en que lubricó el interior de tus muslos y se deslizó entre ellos hasta el agotamiento, oyéndote suplicar por un poco de placer a cambio y prometiendo hacer lo imposible para merecerlo-. Lo hacés a propósito, ¿no?

Permanecés en silencio, pero Enzo recibe una respuesta cuando tus manos presionan aún más tus pechos. Su excitación comienza a ser cada vez más abundante, gotas de líquido incoloro cayendo desde su punta hasta el largo de su miembro y entre tus pechos, llenando la habitación de los indecentes sonidos húmedos que tanto disfrutan ambos. Sus dedos contrayéndose sobre el sofá y sus nudillos blancos hacen que te detengas con una sonrisa de satisfacción.

Toma tu cabello entre sus dedos y se acerca peligrosamente a tu rostro, su pulgar delineando tu labio inferior y haciéndote sisear cuando toca la herida que sus dientes dejaron allí. Tira de tu cabello hasta posicionarte en un ángulo doloroso y te observa, el cabello cayendo a los lados de su rostro haciendo que se vea aún más imponente, y luego escupe en tu boca. Le enseñás tu lengua, su saliva mezclándose con la tuya, y tragás.

Te conduce hacia el otro extremo de la habitación sin delicadeza alguna y presiona tu cuerpo contra el espejo en la pared, el efecto de la superficie fría evidenciándose en tus pezones. Con movimientos lentos, Enzo toma el dobladillo de tu vestido y comienza a arrugarlo entre sus manos, descubriendo centímetro a centímetro de tu cuerpo y maravillándose como si fuera la primera vez que te ve.

Intenta no perder la razón al ver el encaje rojo cubriendo tu intimidad… Pero él es un hombre débil y vos, la tentación.

Se arroja sobre sus rodillas sin pensarlo y comienza a morder tus piernas con fuerza, haciéndote gemir y lloriquear debido a la sensibilidad, utilizando su lengua posteriormente como si fuera suficiente para aliviar las zonas abusadas. Aparta la prenda que lo separa de tu centro y observa cómo la humedad que cubre tu piel se adhiere en forma de hilos brillantes a la tela.

Introduce un dedo en tu interior mientras reparte besos y mordidas en tus muslos. Te oye gemir contra el espejo y sabe, aunque no puede verte, que tal imagen podría pertenecer al paraíso. Debería, asegura al introducir otro dedo y sentir tus paredes contrayéndose cuando los curva para dar con tu punto dulce, la resistencia de tus labios nula ante tus gemidos, jadeos y suspiros.

Los sonidos obscenos que producen los dedos de Enzo en tu cavidad no se comparan con la imagen entre tus piernas, tus fluidos cayendo sobre sus dedos hasta llegar a sus nudillos e incluso su muñeca. Tus piernas tiemblan y tus manos masajean tus pechos, imitando los movimientos que tu novio suele repetir para brindarte el máximo placer.

Tus rodillas están a punto de fallarte y le suplicás, pero cuando Enzo se detiene y te deja respirar la sensación de vacío junto con la desesperación te inundan. Encontrás sus ojos oscuros a través del espejo, un leve asentimiento de su parte que pretende ser un consuelo, y arqueás tu espalda para darle mejor acceso a tu entrada.

Sostiene el vestido, la tela arrugada a la altura de tu cintura, mientras acaricia tu entrada y tu clítoris con la punta goteante de su miembro. Suspirás al sentir su calor y el suspiro se vuelve un gemido cuando comienza a empujarse dentro tuyo, recibiendo el ardor que provoca su tamaño en tu entrada estrecha.

-Enzo...

-Sí, amor, ya sé- dice entre gruñidos-. Querés más, ¿no...? Vos siempre querés más.

Y él está dispuesto a dártelo todo.

Sus movimientos son delicados y mínimos para permitir que te acostumbres a la sensación, pero eso se acaba cuando ve tu expresión prácticamente pornográfica en el espejo. El placer dibuja en tus cejas una curva que acompaña la caída de tus párpados y tus labios entreabiertos permiten que un hilo de saliva caiga por tu mentón.

Desesperado por sentir más, comienza a penetrarte con fuerza y en profundidad. Adora los sonidos que dejan tu boca y aún más los que produce tu cuerpo al colisionar con el suyo, así como también adora ver los movimientos de tu carne como consecuencia de cada impacto originado entre las caderas de ambos.

El ritmo de sus estocadas es cada vez más rápido en contraste con la música (ahora muy lejana, como si la sala se encontrara a kilómetros de distancia) y te fuerza a sostenerte para no perder el equilibrio, pero la tarea resulta casi imposible cuando sentís la forma en que su punta abusa de tu cérvix de manera placentera.

Su mano repta por tu espalda y acaricia tu cuello antes de cerrarse sobre el mismo, la presión que ejerce mínima pero aún presente como un sutil recordatorio. Volvés a encontrar su mirada.

-Voy a...

-Sí- se limita a contestar. Arroja la cabeza hacia atrás.

Continúa embistiéndote hasta sentir las contracciones de tu interior caliente y te permite tocarte sólo después de atraer tu cuerpo hacia el suyo, con tu espalda sobre su pecho y su brazo rodeando tu cuello. Su otra mano sostiene tu cadera y se hunde dolorosamente en tu piel, amenazando con dejar alguna que otra marca.

El ángulo actual te deja sentir cada detalle de su miembro en tu interior y no pasa mucho tiempo antes de que llegues a tu orgasmo, con sus dedos aprisionando tus mejillas para mantener tu vista al frente, la imagen de tus pechos saltando de arriba abajo casi tan hipnótica como el rostro de tu novio al ver la escena.

Cuando Enzo alcanza su propio clímax sentís sus dientes mordiendo tu cuello antes de percibir cómo su semen caliente te llena por completo. La sensación es suficiente para causarte otro orgasmo, más breve pero de mayor intensidad.

-Te amo- dice Enzo contra tu piel-. Te amo, te amo, te amo.

-Yo también te amo- tomás su mano y la llevás a tus labios-. Mucho.

-¿No tenía razón?- oculta su sonrisa tras tu hombro-. El vestido era una buena idea.

Estás a punto de darle la razón, pero te interrumpe el sonido de alguien tocando la puerta.

-Te voy a matar- jurás, apresurándote para acomodar tu ropa.

Enzo sólo suelta una carcajada.

Notas de Lu:

La inspiración para el vestido, estoy completamente obsesionada. Espero hayan disfrutado la lectura y si ven algún error..., un hechicero lo hizo ♡

taglist: @madame-fear @creative-heart @recaltiente @llorented @chiquititamia

[babyspacegay]

Armandaniel rec list

Hello freaks and freak-adjacent! I thought it might be a cool idea to put together a little rec list of IWTV fics that I feel could be a good intro/primer to the Devil's Minion pairing for people who are fans of the show and Armandaniel-curious.

Of course my preferences won't be universal (I'm not a major gore/heavy angst girlie), so feel free to reblog with your own recs ;)

Here's my two favorite post-Dubai fics, with what a lot of the fandom imagines happens with Armand's disappearance/Daniel's turning/book shenanigans:

you ate me right up (you spit me back out) by oceaniads (M, 6.6k)

In the aftermath of Louis and Armand’s explosive divorce, Daniel manages to leave the Dubai penthouse unscathed and very much human. Now, the only thing he has to worry about is releasing the damn book and stopping people from calling it fiction. It is not fiction. There’s also the matter of the vampire following him around America, because apparently he needs a bodyguard and Armand is the right guy for the job. That’s just something Daniel will have to roll with.

eighty proof and a lifetime by doztoevsky (M, 11k)

It’s just - anticlimactic. New York Times Bestselling Blue Balls of a conclusion to the Armand of it all. He can picture the pierced graduate students at his indie bookstore readings now; their dubious, unsatisfied frowns of so, what, he just sat there? And you just left?

Here's a Daniel character study that I just really like:

krapp’s last tape by zoop (E, 4.5k)

It’s 2022, he’s in Dubai, and Daniel Molloy’s life is flashing before his eyes. Mostly, he’s irritated by the goddamn cliché of it all. The indignity not only of dying, but of having the whole of his life laid bare, his memories to be perused at the leisure of the sick psychotic fuck currently pinning him to the floor.

And finally, my actual favorites, two incredibly formatted social media fics that are absolutely amazing and hilarious (and canon as far as I'm concerned):

bloodsucker, famefucker by brewrosemilk (T, 3.7k)

☁️✨ (@babymoonlight): i’m so sorry i ever made fun of you mr vampire lestat lesander de lioncourt i love u i hope louis kisses ur lil head and tucks you in under a blanket u deserve the world idc ama 🍣 (@lilsushiroll): he should still die imo vamp stan idc 🦷 (aloevampita): he’s already dead keep UP you look like an idiot someone already went nom nom on his neck centuries ago you’re too late

The Great Daniel Molloy Discourse of 2024/25 by Siria (T, 3.5k)

The internet has opinions about Daniel Molloy’s Interview with the Vampire (2024).

[armandposting]

sybelle & benji primer

for those who would prefer not to put themselves through The Vampire Armand

who are sybelle and benji? the short answer is that they are two humans that armand effectively adopts after killing sybelle's abusive brother. they help armand recover after his suicide attempt and come with him when he goes to see lestat in his devil-coma (don't worry about it). armand's intent with them has always been to protect them while they live out their human lives, but he leaves them with marius while telling his life story to david talbot and marius turns them, whcih devastates armand.

but also, sybelle is a 25 year old disabled pianist and benji is a 12 year old trafficked Bedouin boy from Palestine who chainsmokes. so there's kind of a lot going on there.

[prefacing this by saying it's possible benji and sybelle were first introduced in memnoch the devil but I haven't finished my reread of that yet and I don't remember, so this all comes from the vampire armand and what i remember of the prince lestat trilogy]

to skim over a bunch of semi-relevant plot, at the end of memnoch the devil armand tries to kill himself by flying into the sun because lestat got to make out with Thee Jesus and armand didn't. as he's getting burned up he has several semi-hallucinatory side quests, one of which is sybelle and benji.

sybelle, like I said, is a concert pianist, and has some sort of developmental or neuro disability that anne doesn't specify. you could interpret it as autism or psychosis related to PTSD or depression or any number of things, but when we meet her she is fixated on the Appassionata piano sonata, and plays it constantly. she is with her abusive older brother, who took over her care after their parents died, and Benjamin Mahmoud (benji), a young boy that her brother essentially bought to help take care of her. sybelle struggles with eating, dressing herself, speaking, etc, though this is all much improved later on after the brother is dead. Armand hears benji praying for something to save sybelle from the brother, who is trying to haul her off the piano and beat her, and benji is worried will kill her. Armand steps in and kills the brother. benji celebrates, sybelle goes back to the piano, and armand basically immediately falls in love with them both, but he has a suicide attempt to finish, so he gets swept off.

armand eventually lands on a rooftop, burned to a crisp and quickly becomes stuck in the snow and ice. he continues to hear sybelle's playing and benji talking to him (benji calls him angel at first, later dybbuk-- notable funny bit is that benji, not knowing what happened to armand, tries to persuade him back by saying he has plenty of good cigarettes and then complaining that armand left them this dead body to deal with. if theres one thing about benji mahmoud it's that he is not fazed by jack or shit). eventually armand realizes that he is not going to die any time soon and calls out to benji for help.

benji and sybelle rescue armand from the rooftop- he tries to telepathically shield how terrible he looks from them, but sybelle catches on that doing so is draining for him and tells him to stop. they're not afraid of his crusty ass and set him up in their hotel room (sybelle has endless trust fund money from her parents). they have to get a guy for armand to drink so he can heal, so benji lures a guy with the promise that there's coke under the "dead body" on the bed. yes, benji does come up with this plan. armand thinks it's hilarious. made for each other. it's notable that both benji and sybelle are daniel-style weird little freaks who want to watch armand do murders; the only difference is it's not a sex thing for them.

with armand recovered, sybelle and benji accompany him to come see lestat, where as I mentioned armand leaves them with marius for safekeeping and marius turns them. the consent here is... complicated. in terms of vampire etiquette, arguably marius absolutely should not have done this, as sybelle and benji were under armands protection. also just as a guy who is aware that this option is abhorrent to armand, someone marius still considers his child (eugh yuck etc), marius should not have done this. on the human end, sybelle at least was definitely old enough to consent, older than half the main vampires are when they're turned. benji would be really really offended if you said he wasn't old enough (much like amadeo) but also... he is literally 12. he's been through some shit for sure but he is 12. personally I'm going to go with under no circumstances should marius have done that. but sybelle and benji are happy about it and see it as a way to be a family with armand forever and armand does his best to not let his anguish bring the mood down.

and that's basically what happens. benji and sybelle go with armand between trinity gate and the court in auvergne. in the PL books, sybelle continues to play music, often with the other vampire musicians that have gathered at lestat's court, and benji starts the world's first vampire podcast.

other random facts:

benji mostly wears djellabas, and when the guy he brings to armand to kill is racist to him about it he says "sure, just call me Lawrence of arabia" and promptly feeds the guy to armand

benji also is fascinated by how armand looks all shriveled up ("I could take a lesson in muscles from looking at you") and sybelle has to tell him to focus on the whole luring a drug dealer to their hotel room thing at hand

for some reason anne thought that armand should mention that sybelle has breasts at like, every opportunity. it's one of those times when you're actually glad she didn't write more women because when she does she is so weird about it

in the PL books when interacting with Marius, benji also calls him master like armand does (Jacob Anderson voice eugh yuck!)

sybelle's reaction to watching crispy armand drain a dude while saying armand-typical creepy shit is to say "magnificent" and benji's is to say "bad guy, huh?"

armand thinks of the whole of telling his story in TVA as being for benji and sybelle, but particularly sybelle. he describes it more than once as his "symphony for sybelle."

Marius has a rare moment of self reflection after armand screams at him for turning the two, where he says "You loved them selflessly. For all their strange faults, and wild evil, they were not compromised for you. You loved them perhaps more respectfully than I… than I ever loved you." not a high bar my man!

anyway I think that's it, at least as much as I can remember without doing any text searches outside of TVA. they're weird little freaks and I love them very much though as usual there are many things about them I wish anne had done just a little differently!

[stereax]

likes and reblogs highly appreciated here!!! spent a ton of time on this, hope it shows!

let's go devils!!!

[toasty-melons]

So Perfect to Me

modern!ellie x fem!reader

just a little fluffy one shot <3

this picture but with modern!Ellie x fem!reader

“No.” Her tone is flat and unamused. You wrap your hands around her left arm and lean your head on her shoulder.

“Why not?” She looks down at you and gives you a small smile. You just asked Ellie if you could do her makeup and so far it’s not going as planned. Usually she’s more than willing to go along with your cute couple ideas.

“Because.. i don’t know.. just because.” You huff and give her your best puppy eyes as you pout your lips.

“Please baby?” You watch her smile drop slightly before turning into a grin. She rolls her eyes and head back and you know that you’ve got her on board now.

“Fine..” You squeal and run into your connected bathroom to grab all your supplies. While you’re gathering everything you glance in the mirror to see Ellie leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, watching you. “It’s not fair when you ask me so sweetly. You know I can’t say no to you, you little devil.”

You can’t help the grin that etches onto your face. You turn around to face her, your hands full of makeup stuff. Ellie glances at your arms and she develops this.. look.. on her face. Your smile drops and a look of concern and confusion takes it’s place.

“What’s wrong? If you really don’t want to do it we don’t have to Ellie.” She shakes her head and looks back at you through her eyelashes.

“It’s not that I don’t want to.. it’s just.. i’ve never worn make up.. what if it doesn’t.. look right on me?” You feel your heart sink at her shy confession and you quickly place everything in your arms onto the bathroom counter. Taking a few steps over to her you wrap your arms around her neck and pout your lips.

“Ellie.” Her hands instantly find their way onto your hips. “Ellie you’re so pretty..” You place a soft kiss on her right cheek. “and so smart..” another kiss on her left cheek. “and so funny..” a kiss on her nose. “and so beautiful.” a kiss on her lips. You whisper against her lips, “You’re so perfect to me Ellie.” When you pull away you can see how red her cheeks and ears have gotten.

You smile and she copies it while you place a hand on her cheek and stroke it gently with your thumb. She leans towards you and places a kiss on your nose.

“You’re too sweet to me.” Her voice is soft and sweet. You grin and shrug.

“Just being honest.” She chuckles and brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“My sweet girl.” You feel butterflies in your stomach and your face get hot. You love when she praises you like this. She nods her head towards the counter covered in makeup and whispers, “Cmon. Get your stuff and make me gorgeous, hot stuff.” You bite the inside of your bottom lip at the compliment.

“You sure?” She nods and you grin widely. “Go sit on the bed.” She chuckles and places a kiss on the side of your head while you gather your stuff once again.

Once she has sat down and you place your things along the bed, you clap your hands together and stand in between her legs.

“Ready?” She nods and places her hands on your hips, her fingers sneaking up under your shirt to touch your bare skin. She looks up at you.

“Ready as i’ll ever be.” You smile and brush her hair out of her face with the tips of your fingers. You pick up your primer and squirt some onto your fingers, gently rubbing it all over her face. “What’s that?” You smile and gently blow on her face so the primer will dry faster. Her eyes flutter close.

“Primer baby.” She hums and you feel her fingers twitch against your hips, slowly rubbing circles into your skin.

“What does it do?” You smile and tap her lips with your pointer finger before leaning down and kissing her lips once.. then twice.

“Creates a barrier between your skin and the makeup.” She opens her eyes and hums again. You pick up your base and hold it where she can see it. “This is base. It goes all over your face.” You squirt some onto the back of your hand and with your opposite hand, you place small amounts of base across her face. Picking up a brush and twirling it in your hands you say, “base brush. blends it in.”

After blending the base, you grab your next item and hold it up, “concealer, hides imperfections and lightens dark areas.” She snorts and tilts her head up at you.

“Don’t need that then, i’m perfect remember?” You roll your eyes and place the concealer under her eyes and a bit on her nose and then blending it. When your done you boop her nose. She scrunches her face and attempts to bite your finger, causing you to giggle.

A few steps later and your shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably. Ellie notices and pulls your hand away from her face.

“Hey. Don’t mess up the blush. Too much is not a good look.” With the wrist she has a hold on, she brings it to her lips and kisses the inside of your palm. Tugging your waist towards her until you’re sitting on her lap with her other hand.

“Sorry babe. Better?” You nod and immediately get back to work. Ever so gently applying the blush to her face. Her eyes close once again and it makes you smile at how relaxed she is.

You go to grab your contour before stopping yourself. Ellie has such a pretty natural face and nose shape that there’s no need to contour. Deciding to skip the step, you move on to grab your eyeshadow palette and a couple of brushes.

“Okay I need you to keep your eyes closed for me baby.” She gives you a soft grin and whispers softly.

“Anything for you babe.” You shake your head softly and after a moment of deciding, you choose to go for a natural smokey eye with a bold eyeliner. You dip the brush in brown powder and awkwardly brush it over her eyelid. You change the position of your arm and brush onto the other lid.

You tilt her head up with your fingers but still find it awkward and a bit uncomfortable. Huffing you pull back and tap her cheek, watching as she peaks one eye open.

“Lay back. It’s awkward to do your eyes while sitting like this.” She does as you say and from the smile on her face, you can tell exactly what’s she’s thinking. You giggle and lean over her. Her hands resting on your thighs and rubbing against your bare skin.

You get back to focusing on her eye makeup and it’s a lot less awkward than before.

“What made you wanna do this?” You can tell she’s trying her hardest not to move as she mumbles out the words. You shrug and remember that she can’t see you.

“I don’t know.. just thought it would be fun. Plus I kind of wanna know what you look like with makeup.” She hums and you feel her hands drag up higher against your thigh. “You’re being distracting.” She shrugs and smiles devilishly. Once you finish, you grab your eyeliner and tap her lips once again and place two quick pecks against her lips.

“The eyeliner is the most important part. Don’t move a muscle.” She frowns slightly and opens one eye.

“Can I move my hands?” You think on it for a moment or two before answering.

“Barely. I’m being serious Ellie. No funny business.” She scoffs and closes her eye again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about sweetheart. I’m nothing but serious.” She taps her fingers against your thighs and gives them a soft squeeze. You try to ignore it and get to work on her eyeliner. Bringing your face close to hers so you can see better.

You can feel her breath on your face. It makes you feel fuzzy, a bit dizzy even. You glance down at her lips multiple times while you finish up. She’s being extremely still just like you asked. Well.. except for her hands that have made their way further up your thighs and then onto your hips.

Her hands distracted you so much you didn’t even notice you had finished until she had opened her eyes from you not moving for a while.

“How do I look?” You hear a bit of nerves in her voice and you stare at her for a couple of seconds, taking in her new look before smiling widely.

“Hot.” She grins and her eyebrows raise slightly in shock.

“You saying I wasn’t hot before?” You giggle while reaching over to grab your final step. Lipstick.

“No, i’m saying it’s a different kind of hot.” She glances at the item in your hand and frowns.

“Do you have to do that part?” You scoff and take the lid off.

“This is the best part. Now open your mouth slightly.” She does as she’s told and you slowly and carefully apply it across her lips. It makes her lips look more full. When your done you lean back and smile proudly.

“Oh. My. Gosh. Babe. Come look in the mirror. Cmon cmon.” You pick up your things and grab her hand, dragging her with you to the bathroom. You place all your items on the counter and then look up at her through the mirror. She looks shocked. You smile fondly and walk around behind her, linking your arm through hers and resting your head on her shoulder.

“Feels weird. Heavy on my face.” You hum in acknowledgment and softly trace your fingers along her arm. “But.. I do look.. good.” You grin at her words.

“You do look good. Really good.” She tears her eyes off of herself and meets your gaze in the mirror. Her eyebrows slightly raised and a smile stretching widely onto her face.

“Yeah?” You nod and she turns around to face you, grabbing your waist and lifting you onto the counter. She leans in, her face is close to yours but your lips don’t touch. “Can I mess up my makeup a little bit?” You laugh softly and wrap your arms around her neck tugging on the roots of her hair.

“Only if I get to help.” She takes that as a yes and attacks your lips with her own. Her kisses are needy and passionate. Her tongue swipes over your bottom lip making you whine and pull her closer.

Her lips slowly trail down from your lips to your jaw and then down to your neck. Your eyes close flutter close and heavy pants leave your mouth. She pulls away and you hear her groan blissfully.

“Holy shit babe.” You open your eyes and you’re met with a site you hope to never forget. The lipstick you had painted on her lips is now smudged and smeared in the hottest of ways. She tilts your head up with her thumb and forefinger, making you meet her eyes. “Look in the mirror.” You do as she says and your eyes widen a bit at how you look. All across your lips down to your neck is covered in messy kiss stains.

You can’t help the giggles that leave your lips. You turn back around to face Ellie, dragging your fingers from her hair to her shoulders. She leans forward and places a quick peck to your lips before whispering..

“I like the make up babe. I really do, but.. I like how it looks on you way better.”

[daresplaining]

Mattea Murdock, the Daredevil Drummer of Philly

In celebration of the forthcoming new Spider-Punk: Arms Race series (not to mention Hobie stealing scenes in "Across the Spider-Verse" last year), I wanted to finally write up my long-overdue overview post on Mattea Murdock! If you haven't read her introductory run yet, check it out here.

Mattea truly stands on her own in the wide canon of alternate universe DDs. She is a female Daredevil, she is Latina, and she somehow managed to escape Marvel's NYC gravity and base herself in Philadelphia, where she defends its citizens from violence and exploitation. Hobie and his self-styled Spider-Band encounter her in Spider-Punk (2022) #3, when they make a detour to fix the busted Spider-Van. They are all immediately-- and correctly-- impressed.

Mattea: "Yo, Kam!" Hobie: "Wait, you know each other?!" Kamala: "Duh! You think I wouldn't know the Daredevil Drummer of Philly?" Hobie: "You're a drummer too?" Mattea: "Best in town." Hobie: "Oh man, my friend Gwen is a pretty dope drummer too. I think y'all would definitely get along." Mattea: "Hope they're ready to get outplayed by a pretty, blind girl." Spider-Punk vol. 1 #3 by Cody Ziglar, Justin Mason, Jim Charalampidis, and Travis Lanham

I talked a little about her killer character/costume design when she was first introduced (I was a fool; of course she's blind), and my love for her look has only grown. It's badass, distinctive, and it slots her beautifully into Hobie's punk rock world while still evoking that trademark Daredevil image (red, sticks, pointy bits...). Her irises are red, which is a visual choice I enjoy in more heightened, fantastical DD stories/art styles, and I think it works for Mattea. Heck, I could even imagine them being colored contact lenses she's chosen to wear for the aesthetic. Also, one detail that wasn't in the previews is the fun little laughing devil face on the back of her jacket (I'm not punk rock enough to get the reference if it is one, but it reminds me of Darkdevil):

Of course, always a big priority for me is Daredevil's power-set, and Mattea provides a quick primer on her unique perspective, mostly focused on hearing and the radar sense:

Mattea: "What? You think just 'cause I'm a blind girl, I can't see? Echolocation, my abuelas used to call it. But it's more intimate. Instinctual. Can hear a kick drum from ten blocks away. Can see it too. If I think hard enough, I can even see what the garage it's being played in looks like." Hobie: "Yo, are you doing it right now?" Riri: "She's definitely doing it right now."

This is not my favorite description of Daredevil's powers, nor-- to be honest-- a particularly informative one. She can gather spatial information through walls...from ten blocks away? I also never love an overuse of visual language in any explanation of these powers, especially as it's implied that Mattea, like Matt, is completely blind. Surprisingly, no direct mention is made here of the hypersenses as a whole, beyond the reference to hearing a kick drum from ten blocks away. Even her hearing doesn't receive that much attention in the story overall, which feels like a missed opportunity for such a musical character. Her blindness, too, is pretty much irrelevant to the story, and never comes up again. But I do LOVE that she uses the term "echolocation", though is still very clearly the radar sense, in all its vague, undefined, semi-magic glory.

And visually? This is great. I'm always a fan of the cross-hatching visual, especially against a black background, and artist Justin Mason doesn't go too overboard on the detail, which is another preference of mine. And thematically, I love the ways in which Mattea's drummer identity is tied into her superheroics-- not just for laying a beatdown on bad guys, but also for channelling and enhancing her echolocation/radar sense. One of my favorite scenes in the comic is when she plays a drum solo on a roof edge to scope out the Kingpin's lair. I'm willing, in that moment, to ignore any gripes about radar sense irregularities out of respect for the coolness and thematic heft of the concept. I mean, this rocks:

Mattea: "Come on, show me the good stuff."

At the end of the day, though, this is not a Daredevil comic and Mattea is not the main character. Plus, it's only five issues long, and introduces a bunch of other new characters as well. There was only ever going to be room for the creative team to offer a cursory introduction, hopefully generating enough interest to prompt these characters to appear again in other comics. In that, I think they fully succeeded with Mattea; we get a cursory sense of her powers (or at least, enough to show that they're the normal DD set), her personality (delightfully cocky, playful, tough, fearless), a few hints of her backstory, and some truly kickass fight scenes. There's a bit of suspension of disbelief required to believe she can use drumsticks as a stand-in for billy clubs (unless her drumsticks are made of something really hefty-- and hey, maybe they are), but this is Spider-Punk. Hobie killed Norman Osborn with a guitar--twice. It's not about realism, it's about style.

Mattea: "Been waiting for this for a long time, Fisk. Real long time." Fisk: "I'm going to break you, li'l girl--AWGGH!" Mattea: "Big, strong man who sends out his band of wackos to push over people too weak to fight back." Fisk: "Wouldn't get too cocky, girlie...you're not the only one who's fast! I'm gonna hurt ya. A lot. Then I'm gonna kill ya. And I'm gonna love every second of it. You know, this is the same look you had when I had your old band clapped a few years back. I like it. Brings out your eyes--GAAAH!" Mattea: "There's something you need to understand about me, papi. I'm not the kinda girl who goes down without a fight."

I can't wait to see more of Mattea and learn more about her, her world, her friends, and her enemies. In particular, she seems to have a history (possibly romantic?) with this world's Kamala Khan, and I would love to see more of that relationship. While Mattea Murdock clearly has a lot in common with Matt Murdock, she also seems happy to be a team player, unlike Matt, and I really enjoy that. Though I guess it's not that surprising a distinction. After all, every drummer needs a band.

[j2zara]

hello janelle zukkacore j2zara, its a long time coming but i would like to be a part of clone enjoyers anonymous bc im v interested in their dynamics and i really like ur drawings of the clones :3

i am however, overwhelmed on where to start learning abt them and i was hoping u could point me to the right direction since i pretty much see u as the president of clone enjoyers thank u so much ily 💖

HI FRIEND WELCOME TO THE CLONE ENJOYERS!!!!! WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU! THIS WAS GETTING WIELDY SO I SPLIT IT INTO TWO PARTS

PART ONE + TWO OF CLONE LORE IS HERE

Part 1 is basics of Clone Lore. Part 2 is me shamlessly reccing my fanfic to understand the context. Tbh I'd start with part 1 first or the doc

I've also compiled Clone Lore into a Google doc: it contains all the information from the first post and this post. I might include elaborations later (i was too exhausted to get fully into LJ3. But i feel bad neglecting it).

Anyway. I'm probably gonna link Clone Primer into my pinned post so that people can come back to it.

And I wanna emphasize. I 100% get how insular this is so if you're confused please feel free to ask!!! I have no problem explaining things. I love to talk. I talk way too much. Ask anyone. b/c like. I feel bad that this is gonna look super intimidating.

SO here's the rest of Clone Primer

PART 3: CLONE PRIMER - ELABORATION ON THE BASICS + WEIRD INSULAR INFO + ME RECAPPING FIC CONCEPT STUFF

[I WOULD SKIP THESE OR COME BACK TO THEM LATER IF YOU WANNA GO INTO THE FICS UNSPOILED BUT IF THE SUMMARY IS SUPPLANTING READING THE FIC GO RIGHT AHEAD]

J2 EDITION (aka ALMOST LORE) - aka "BLUEJAY"

J2's personality originates from I'm Almost Me Again (He's Almost You), and was the first one to be developed

J2 is devoted, sweet, earnest, hard-working, anxious, desperate to prove himself. He can have a slight acidic streak (his favorite way to rebel is smashing Jace's stuff) but is very preoccupied with being useful.

He reads as slightly younger than Jace b/c he's a clone, he basically just started existing yesterday, and I jokingly refer to him as "25 year old green new hire coded jace" (and also as Born Sexy Yesterday Jace) bc rewatching Freshman Year, I was surprised by how young and inexperienced Jace sounded, and I feel like that detail about his character (that imo makes his situation very pitiable) was really lost in translation in Junior Year. Because he is young to the world and kind of naive, he is very easy to impress and exploit

However, he is still clever and good at magic. Simulacra in dnd don't regain spell slots, but J2 was the first clone to figure out that as a sorcerer, he could convert sorcery points into spell slots, extending his utility to Jace and Porter and basically sparing himself from being dispelled.

J2 is initially very anxious about his purpose / survival. As a clone, he knows he has an expiration date and is desperate to make himself invaluable. The sorcery points solution to the spell slots is part of this.

J2's innate talent is part of what caught Porter's eye. He was the first clone to meet Porter, and Porter (and to some degree, Jace too) laud him as basically like. Jace's Precious Last Gift to Porter. He's often seen as remarkable or special, but its ambiguous whether that specialness is about j2 on his own terms or if he is special as a manifestation of jace's talent.

J2 is the one who is the intermediary between Jace, Porter, and the other Clones. He takes on the most responsibility, and interacts the most with Porter. Spending a lot of time with Porter, they two of them became very close

J2 is the one who loves Porter deeply enough to be very committed to The Plan. He thinks Porter is worthy of ascension, godhood, even if it means Porter will eventually leave him.

J2 had a long, deeply committed affair w/ porter that culminated in them sleeping together and J2 taking devil's honey that kinda rewired his brain and fucked him up. J2 was very much in love with Porter until he found out that Porter killed Jace and brought him back to life, but the devils honey tricks him into forgetting that fear.

The lie he told himself on devil's honey is "I want this. I want everything. Porter deserves everything". It basically rewires his brain to convince himself that he wants whatever happens to him, whether it be good or bad. Even if Porter got back together with jace, he would want that too, because Porter deserves everything, right? Everything he wants. Me and Jace. Just jace. Even if J2 becomes a literal or emotional sacrifice for the betterment orf porter or the cause. Whatever it is, i will be happy

Right after this happens, jace calls porter and agrees to enfold back into the Plan, but is not going to get back together w/ Porter. J2's fate is ambiguous, but emotionally, Porter has pretty much cast him aside with the hope that he will get back together with Jace. Also, b/c Jace is back in the picture, his status as the Last Precious Gift from Jace is in jeopardy and he becomes about as disposable as the other clones (however, usually when we clonepost, J2 is still top of the pecking order just below Jace)

POST-ALMOST: as far as Clone Lore goes - J2 tends to live in this state where he doesn't just worship Porter, but what we call the "Starbreaker Pantheon". He reveres the jaceporter relationship b/c he finds it to be profound and meaningful even if it's not always Good. Jace also occupies a spot in his devotion as like. This figure he is deeply envious of and could never measure up to, but also as someone he knows must be worthy of respect b/c that's who Porter wants, right? He wants what Jaceporter has b/c he sees Porter's love for Jace as like, something true and intimate and something he's only ever gotten a sliver of, treated as a replacement. He wants to be Jace, but he also wants Porter to be happy, so if Porter is happy with Jace he can find a way to worship Jace, too.

I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION: in Almost, Porter gave J2 the nickname "Bluejay". This is b/c J2's favorite color is blue, which makes him distinct from Jace. He is a very cozy boy who loves cardigans and sweaters and blue nail polish. Yes. Blue Jay is two words. We're gonna breeze past that. J2 fell in love with his new nickname, desperate to see it as a way for Porter to finally recognize him as different from Jace. If you see the clone enjoyers refer to J2 as Bluejay, this is why.

J3 EDITION (aka some Biggest Lie Lore etc)

J2's personality was developed in Almost, and I'd say J3's personality was crystalized in Biggest Lie, but technically J3's personality started as a joke. I said offhand one time in reply to another mutual that in my head, Porter was 100% noncommittally flirting with J3 the entire time he was having this very deep and torrid love affair with J2, and J3 sort of. Became the our beloved little slut as a result of that

J3 is flirtatious, thrillseeking, playful, manipulative, charming, easily bored, fatalistic / borderline parasuicidal, and deeply alientated from his sense of personhood. J2 spent a long time wishing to be loved by Porter on his own terms, as his own person, before finally succumbing. However, J3 is happy (well, convinced himself he happy) to be treated as Jace's cypher.

J3 is often treated as the Most Disposable of the clones. J2 is the intermediary and the Precious Gift. J3 is usually left with grunt work, and anything dangerous is usually foisted upon him to spare J2. He is the one who goes with Porter to cast enlarge-reduce in the woods, and he is the one that used to be spellcaster support for Porter if they ever needed to go anywhere dangerous.

J3 being treated as disposable is why he has no sense of identity or a sense of self preservation, unlike J2. Porter never spends time outside of necessity (until they start screwing. we'll get to that), so nobody has ever really bothered to get to know J3 besides the other clones. J2 is the one that Porter treasures, so J3 views himself as the shield for j3, the disposable one, the one who is likely first to die.

Because of this, he is a thrillseeker, desperate to cram as much living into his short half-life as possible (this includes trying to fuck anyone and everyone in elmville). The experiences do not have to be positive, he wants everything as long as its exciting.

During Almost, J3 and Porter were casually flirting. J3 would die before admitting it, but spending time with Porter was his favorite part of the day. Post Almost, when Jace got folded back into the plan but was not back together with porter, that's when Porter started hooking up with J3. With J3 perfectly willing to let Porter project all his want for jace and frustration at jace onto him because hey, he's getting the porter hookup and not jace, right?

J3 always threads this tenuous line of actively seeking out experiences while also passively being the recipient of other people's fantasies. unlike J2, he embraces being a jace cypher for Porter because that's how he gets porter at his most heightened. J3 often refuses to articulate what he wants, instead letting people do whatever they want to him. He is terrified of being seen as needy, terrified of being rejected for who he is.

At his best he is charismatic and charming, but at his worst he can be dramatic, whiny, desperate for enrichment, actively manipulative and cruel. His best quality and greatest flaw that he inherited from jace and took to the extreme is that he is generous and egoless; as much as he desires to be the center of attention, as much as he can push and push, at the end of the day, he gives people exactly what they need from him at his own expense

J3 rejects the intimacy with Porter that J2 seeks out and can never really achieve because he always falls short of being Jace. J3 convinces himself that he got the best deal out of anyone b/c he doesn't have to deal with the mess of attachment and heartbreak. However, deep down he is deeply jealous of J2 and Jace.

Post-Biggest Lie: Jace and Porter get back together in IYWD, in which Porter drops the clones, including J3. However, in cloneposting, sometimes the clones still have like a weird undefined thing with Porter and Jace for the sake of us having a fun time and fucking around.

BONUS LORE: Not technically canon to Biggest Lie, but J3 is closest to J4 out of everyone in Jaceporter + the clones dynamic. Because J2 is the precious favorite, J3 n J4 developed a weird allyship because they were the matching spares. They are kinda primed to be each other's biggest supporters and biggest weaknesses tbh. J3 provides J4 a spot of actual levity and pleasure in a half-life she otherwise considers to be miserable. J4 recognizes J3's personhood, gives voice to injustices he faces, and likes him for who he is and not who he pretends to me. They are best friends. They flirt. Sometimes they're in love, but like. we'll get to that

J4 EDITION - (aka Electra / Ellie)

J4 doesn't have as much of a... hefty source for characterization. i really hesitate to call things i write a primary source b/c i don't like to claim ownership over the clones it feels weird and wrong for something that is supposed to be fun and is already fanfiction. But i will say the things i write are. Substantial sources if you want clone context bc they're hefty projects lol.

J4 does not have a Porter-centric fic. This may change in the future but, the reason for this is b/c she is the only clone that hates Porter so subjecting her to that is. A much more convoluted task. Closest thing she has is Stay / Leave which is j3/j4 which we sometimes call LJ3 (and the two fics written by iaus!!!! which are fan fucking tastic!)

J4's personality is the result of. Looking at J2 n J3 and going. Ok what is the third point in a data set. If J2 worships Porter, the antithesis is someone who hates Porter, right? (and J3 is a middle ground)

J4 is marginally more loose in her characterization, but I would say she is... Rageful, bitter, driven, rebellious, ruthless, and steadfast in her beliefs, whether they are good or bad. She feels trapped by her circumstances, unlike J2 who has learned to love his gilded cage, and J3 who has accepted his fate and is basically trying to fuck hard until he dies in an explosion. She is determined to carve out her own path and define her own personhood, what we jokingly refer to as her "escaping the narrative"

Unlike J3 who has no problem being a cypher for jace and has completely neglected his own personhood, and J2 who desperately tried to get porter to recognize him for the person he was before succumbing and submitting, willing to be whatever The Plan and Porter needed of him, occupying this weird middle ground, J4 wants nothing to do with jace. She is determined to be her own person. She is disgusted by the limitations placed on her by being "of jace"

You're probably wondering why J4 is a girl. This was a me-headcanon that became fairly mass accepted, but I have joked that J4 is the only clone to achieve transgenderism. I do use she/her pronouns predominantly for J4, but it's mainly out of habit, i also am not super precious about it, nor do i really care what anyone else does with her. I don't necessarily see being a binary trans girl as the only way to interpret her character, but J4 being a girl it is the common way she is perceived at this point this deep into clone lore. As someone who also has a lot of gender feelings, i do see the need to define oneself and create your own identity to be very transgender tho, so i do think it's fitting

More of a fandom joke thing, J4 loves knives. We love when she gets stabby. There are also a lot of jokes abt her stealing jace's credit cards, his SSN, fantasizing abt setting his house on fire

She is preoccupied with the ways in which she might be similar to Porter because she views him as the embodiment of everything she hates, but she is the clone most like him. She is afraid of her own capacity for rage, her instincts for violence, for control, to own, to take, to posses, to dominate. She wants to fight to liberate, for what's right, but she worries her fight is just to be the person holding the boot at someone's throat rather than the person under the boot.

She worries her impotence and rebellion makes her unpalatable and unlovable. Because she can't really make any meaningful change in their circumstances, wouldn't it just be easier to submit? She worries she's denying herself pleasure for nothing. Even if she doesn't have a choice, wouldn't it easier to be submit and be happy, rather than fight and be miserable?

We also joke about Bad Timeline J4, who is equally as cruel and ruthless, but is devoted to Porter. There's no real content abt her, but its just a make believe scenario where she did finally stop fighting and agree to love Porter, in which she is the one most possessive of him, determined to be his attack dog right hand.

As articulated brilliantly by bambi, Jace, j3, and j2 are pretty archetypal charisma casters in that they are charming and make themselves easy to love. J4 wields her personality like a sledgehammer, but that is charisma, too. Her presence is always felt

She was originally very prideful. Determined to be different. Determined to be the one to make it out. Her pride covers up for a deep self hatred, especially as the expiration date of the clones ticks nearer and nearer, and she views herself to be a failure.

Her only soft spots are for the other clones, but especially J3. She pities J2, essentially viewing him as brainwashed into accepting their lot on life, but because of that pity, she does harbor some kindness and tenderness for him because of that. But J3? J4 bets on losing dogs, and she loves her losing dog so much and she would never admit it, but everyone can see it. If it wasn't for him, she probably would have ditched this whole situation.

This is an Esme Special aka @neerdowellnarrator, but J4 b/c she wants to make a point about not being Jase does choose her own name. J4's chosen name is Electra b/c of the greek myth comparisons and her basically Escaping A The Cycle. She goes by "Ellie" for short. J3 sometimes calls her El / Elle. We still refer to her as J4 sometimes for clarity's sake. Whatever stage she is in when it comes to even having a name is very dependent on whoever is depicting her anyway.

PART 4: Wait, so are J3 and J4... In love?

Yeah. it's like a whole Thing. This is a pretty recent development. I'll save it for the doc. To be elaborated on soon, I promise. It's called LJ3, i have a whole tag for it if it grips you.

PART 5: ADDITIONAL SILLY CLONE ENJOYERISMS (with links)

J2Porter Vegas Wedding Roleplay Weekend: a Jess Special! Based on this post! Elaborated on here! Jess aka @hauntedwizardmoment has more thoughts here! But I have a whole tag dedicated to it. Gist is that even after Jace n Porter get back together, Porter still devotes special days to the clones to give them Porter Time, and J2's day is an entire weekend where they booked a hotel in Bastion City. And during that time, they're basically roleplaying "What if we got spontaneous hitched in vegas" where Porter books out the honeymoon sweet, and J2 wears a tacky wedding dress, and the whole weekend is just devoted to treating J2. I'm not kidding, if i think too hard abt j2porter vegas roleplay weekend, I might cry.

Jace put the Clones are in the Torment Nexus: based on a post made by Jess again. Makes me laugh my ass off. If we say the clones are never escaping the torment nexus, this is why

J2Jace Blue Lingerie Gift: Sometimes J2 deserves the niceys, so Jace gives him a treat. NSFT warning lol. The post is a Jess Special / Bambi @iaus / @innskeep Special. I drew J2 something inspired by the getup once.

J2 is goodboy modest tradcath jace / J3 is college casual hookup clubbing era jace / j4 is grunge jace: Just headcanons for the different Jace's style of dress. They're all different eras or common headcanons within the fandom b/c Jace fashions eras. J2 is a bit modest, he likes cardigans and sweaters and for things to be comfortable and oversized (but to be fair, he's not AS modest as goodboy jace. Goodboy ex tradcath jace is the jace backstory for IYWD btw. He's the child of one sol worshiping parent and one galicaean worshiping parent and he is NOT ok). J3 wears a lot of form fitting clubbing outfits and hotpants and shit, Jace's wild child era. J4 wears clothes from grunge jace era which i think is a Jess Special again? Like. Old band tees and flannels and lots of black.

J4 is constantly name dropping obscure alt bands that play tuesday night in the parking lot of the black pit and only watches experimental indie horror movies and foreign war films shot from the perspective of pigeon (said w so much love, that concept fucks)

J2 Amy Dunne / J3 Cool Girl / J4 Gone Girl Amy / Jaceprime Amazing Amy Thesis: An elaboration on Jess's Cool Girl Jace Thesis on which she wrote an awesome fic about.

The Clones are Dykes: This one is old as fuck. I made a joke ages ago abt Dyke!Jace b/c I think Dykefag!Jace / Zara is a cute ship. So if Jace is a dyke, then the clones must also be Dykes. I drew art of them once. Digging up the dyke clones posts would be a trip and they're not really indicative of their current personalities, but if you see us joking about. J2 escaping to another timeline where he is a dyke and in a committed relationship with Zara or Lucilla, that is where that comes from

"Born to Love Porter Cliffbreaker, forced to do weird menial tasks for Jaceprime": another old ass thing i said as a joke before the clones had personalities. But it does have a lot to do with j4's preoccupation w/ free will. And Jace also being remade to love porter. Life is hard when you're born to love someone and you're forced to grade papers instead! It ain't much but it's a half-life! At the same time, me positing the clones all had potential to fall in love with Porter is kinda what brought us here, so.

There's a whole host of greek myth and hadestown references we're always dragging out. Cassankarna is Persephades, Jaceporter is Orphydice. Jaceporter is Persephades, J2 is Eurydice. Jaceporter is Persephades, LJ3 is Orphydice. J2 is Iphigenia, J3 is Helen, J4 is Electra / Cassandra. J2 is also Psyche.

Putting the Clones in Game changer: A comedy au in which the Clones are improv comedians on Dropout.tv. But also it's about LJ3 being a little in love and unable to escape the narrative. Esme made Elliego n J3go which i love (aka bingo cards). Loosely based on the last time i drew Jaceporter on game changer as well

Anyway! Thank you for coming on this long winded journey of Clone Primer! If i have any other thoughts I'll add it to the doc.

[inaconstantstateofchange]

Since you offered to do so, would you mind sharing more of your views on Infernal sociology? I'd like to hear your thoughts on it as well, because it's a super interesting topic!

Thanks for the ask! You probably know most of this already, but I’ve been wanting to get some baseline thoughts written out for a while, and this was a great opportunity to do that.

Okay so, the hells as a whole are like… the quintessential embodiment of Lawful Evil. If you could distill Lawful Evil into an environment perfectly designed for it to thrive, that would literally be the hells. Think of the most morally bankrupt, superconglomerate corporate firm, the kind that makes sure the laws are designed to best serve them, as well as having a plethora of loopholes at their disposal, allowing them to pick and choose when to adhere to the letter and when to adhere to the spirit based on what they judge they can get away with. That’s the pale reflection of the hells.

Now think about how that corporation would operate. Everyone is trying to scrabble their way to the top by any means necessary, because power is the only vehicle by which to measure the value of anything. And, for the most part, fiends thrive in that environment.

The majority of devils do not consider existence in the hells a punishment. Certainly there is the potential for suffering around every corner should they fail – or, perhaps worse, succeed – at a task, but there is also the potential for gain, and this is what is foremost in their minds at every conscious moment. Think of that quote by John Steinbeck:

“Everyone was a temporarily embarrassed capitalist.”¹

This pretty well encapsulates the perspective of the majority of the devils and assorted fiends occupying the hells. No matter how far down the corporate ladder they currently are, their big break could be – and surely is – just ahead of them. Every one of them is convinced they are one right step away from taking over from Asmodeus.²

This philosophy colors every single interaction that takes place in the Nine Hells.

¹ Steinbeck, John. "A Primer on the 30's". June 1, 1960. ² They're not, they never were, and they never will be.

[tallerthantale]

What Does Aziraphale Actually Believe, Part 6: Philosophy Time

This is a series of my takes on what Aziraphale believes through the timeline of the show. It is all my personal interpretation, and I am happy to hear others. You don’t need to read them all in order, but know that I am coming from a perspective on Aziraphale’s machinations that can be difficult for people without a psychology background to follow without the first two as a primer. The quick version is that Aziraphale has a set of beliefs that exist in some form or another within his mind. However, at any given moment, only some of them exist ‘with awareness’ or as I am putting it here, conscious!Aziraphale only has access to the beliefs that the rest of his mind, veil!Aziraphale, allows him to know about. The context of the moment will determine what lives on the surface and what stays buried behind the veil, whatever arrangement best prevents a threat to Aziraphale’s sense of self and makes whatever he is inclined to do feel right.

This post finishes the minisode and flashback content, starting from 1800's Edinburgh through to the 1960's bit. There is a lot of attention given to how Aziraphale conceptualises good and evil, and the roles of angels, demons, and humans within the divine system. About 3k words.

A Spot of Body Snatch

Some juicy bits of philosophy show up in the Edinburgh flashback. While Aziraphale has been able to disagree with the archangels, or think that they are misguided about God’s will, the general moral esthetics of what heaven is supposed to represent have largely been left intact. The idea is you put a bunch of people out in the world, you see who does the good things and who does the bad things, and you reward and punish accordingly. Aziraphale still believes that is a component of the ineffable plan, and advocates for some version of it in the modern era. At this point he thinks that it’s all going rather well, and you can easily sort the good and bad humans apart. He doesn’t look too closely, because that’s not going to help preserve his sense of self. He has been on the earth for over 5800 years at this point. His ignorance to the disadvantages of the poor is willful. See end note.

At the start of the adventure, Aziraphale believes body snatching is wicked. It is a morally bad thing to do, people who do it are morally bad. People who finance it are morally bad. This is an intuitive judgement, it feels wrong. As is commonly the case with intuitive judgements, it gets messy on the application, the devil's in the details. When he miracles the freshly dug up body into a skeleton, why does that feel right? Ostensibly the wickedness of the body snatching is the desecration of the dead. By turning the body into skeleton soup, Aziraphale has personally desecrated the dead. You could make the argument that it was a necessary evil in the name of a greater good, but Aziraphale doesn't make that argument, he claims that what he did was directly a morally good act. Why? Because it felt good to him to do it. He was sticking it to the morally bad people by making their life harder. Sometimes Aziraphale is a petty bitch like that.  

When he learns that the body snatching operation functions to alleviate human suffering, his feelings change first, then his judgement changes. After the talk with the surgeon, holding the tumour in a jar, participating in the body snatching feels like helping to relieve human suffering, therefore his involvement in it is in alignment with the ineffable plan, therefore let's go do it. It is worth noting that for all Aziraphale emphasises forgiveness in his interactions with Crowley, he doesn’t ask for it here. There are many factors involved in that, and @takeme-totheworld has some very relevant things to say on the way Aziraphale engages with forgiveness from ex-Christian perspective.

I think one of the other factors involved is that Aziraphale is pretty normalised to reshuffling his beliefs to feel better about himself, and a feature of that normalisation is not fully taking accountability when you shuffle a disavowed belief out. Veil!Aziraphale allows just enough awareness for conscious!Aziraphale to express that his previous belief was incorrect, and then it’s yeeted like that belief never existed. Accountability, apologising, asking forgiveness, all of that would require conscious!Aziraphale to retain awareness of the offending prior belief and prior action. Believing he did a bad thing before breaks his ability to believe that as an angel he is incapable of doing bad things. He doesn't need to believe the absolutist stuff all the time, but it can't coexist in conscious awareness with the knowledge that he has been wrong. It is a known problem with shame responses, they sometimes motivate us to eliminate our awareness of our actions rather than motivate us to make amends.

When Wee Morag is mortally wounded, Aziraphale decides he is going to break heaven's rules, and asserts that the thing he will do, which isn't allowed by heaven, is the right thing to do. Since Uz Aziraphale has been able to believe that the policy of the institution of heaven is wrong and has been willing to go against it. He can shuffle that belief in when needed, and then shuffle it back out to go back to his day to day believing in heaven most of the time. His inclination to break the rules to save Wee Morag is in keeping with that shuffling ability, but we can observe that he slips into it a lot more comfortably than he used to, though not as comfortably as we might like, and not fast enough to save her.

People Get a Choice

What stands out in this era is his continued attachment, just previously in the minisode, to the idea that angel = good and demon = evil. For all he is willing to believe heaven is wrong, he will not let go of categorising the angels as ‘good,’ even into the modern era. It is deeply tied to his internal understanding of his personal relationship to God as an angel, and therefore his sense of self. He knows the other angels would deliberately let Wee Morag die. But the other angels are still angels, and therefore ‘good.’ Crowley, who is working to alleviate human suffering, is ‘evil’ so long as he remains a demon. 

The exact phrasing is: "I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice."  As for Crowley being evil, yes, Aziraphale thinks Crowley is nice. Yes, he thinks Crowley is a good person. Yes, he 100% loves Crowley as he is. But Crowley’s existence is conceptually evil in the abstract through no fault of his choices. Humans can choose. Crowley can't. Aziraphale’s attachment to this point drives most of the serious conflict between them. The worst things Aziraphale says to Crowley are on this theme. So why is he so defensive of it 5800 years in? What is this position doing for him? What does believing this save him from believing instead?

What Aziraphale is protecting himself from is the existential crisis of the pointlessness of it all. He is keeping himself from believing that the entire set up of the sides of good and evil, and humanity having the choice between good and evil, is all a sham. He is protecting himself from believing that he has no side. That there cannot ever be an idealised heaven that represents good. It isn’t just unachievable, it is incoherent. That his behaviour isn’t about furthering the cause of the greater good, he’s just doing what makes himself happy and deciding that is the right thing after the fact. That his sense of what feels right is no substitute for actual ethical principles. To prevent himself from processing all that, he will believe that Crowley is ‘evil’ in the abstract. 

Aziraphale's mind likes to protect itself from responsibility. "You're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing." Aziraphale grasped at straws to take that at face value from a fallen angel, but he grabbed that straw and he didn't let it go. Believing angels are inherently naturally good helps support his inclination to intuit morality. He can just let his innate angel vibes tell him what the right thing is (it’s whatever feels right to do) and he can be confident that is good, because he was an angel when he wanted to do it, and he is still an angel after having done it.

However, this is a very precarious defence for a lot of reasons. If we are working with a definition of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ that have no relationship to personality or behaviour, that’s not very reassuring. Aziraphale cant prove to himself his actions are morally good actions if his continued status as an angel is utterly unconnected to his actions. If angelic / demonic status defining celestials as good and evil is connected to actions or inclinations, how does Aziraphale parse the questionable actions of the other angels, and does he think less of Crowley? I suspect that for the most part he is generating definitions moment to moment that serve the interests of whatever else he is trying to believe at the time. Entirely abandoning the association of good/angel and evil/demon feels too much like abandoning his internal concept of God, so he won’t. Thinking Crowley is a bad person because he is a demon would be equally horrific, so he won’t do that either. He will roll through shifting definitions and avoid looking too hard at the consequences of his positions.

One option for what he can believe that I suspect has been growing stronger, is believing that God has a plan for Crowley that involves a deliberately unjust fall, to return him from later. It solves a lot of the above conflicts. He doesn’t have to consider if Crowley had a choice in becoming a demon, he doesn’t have to believe Crowley ever ‘did the wrong thing’ voluntarily while an angel, it makes it easier for him to rationalise that he is personally incapable of doing the wrong thing, it helps him rationalise his own relationship with Crowley. The only real downside is the part where Crowley would never in a million years endorse this viewpoint, and at some level Aziraphale must be aware of that because he doesn’t tend to express anything like this openly. However it very much looks to me like the missing piece that makes everything else fit. See end note.

Obviously!

Sometimes thinking Crowley's fall is part of an ineffable plan won't stop Aziraphale from being petty about Crowley's demonic status when that opinion isn't on his mind. "We may have both started out as angels, but you are fallen." It might be the rudest version of all of Aziraphale's 'holier than thou' moments, and in the context of what Crowley had likely recently been through, that was really unnecessarily mean.

Now for one of my more counter intuitive takes; Aziraphale is mean to Crowley because he puts him on a pedestal. When you believe someone is so magnificent, so perfect, so destined, you can believe nothing you do or say is capable of causing them harm. Then you can get really careless, particularly if the person you're putting on a pedestal doesn't readily show you their pain. If they are so grand, and your opinion doesn't have any value anyway, why bother considering what you say?

When asked for holy water, Aziraphale's mind goes to a suicide pill, because Aziraphale could not cope with being a demon. He’s had a lot of time to think about it now, he has come to understand that Crowley really isn’t “free to do whatever [he] want[s]” and I think he would genuinely prefer not to exist than to be in Crowley’s position. He projects his feelings about how horrible it would be for him onto Crowley, but also thinks Crowley is the stronger one, and the better one. Crowley just got back from being yanked down to hell for doing a good deed. A good deed that involved bullying Aziraphale into giving his money away, which he wouldn’t have done on his own. Crowley’s good deed for which he was likely tortured involved pressuring an angel into doing the right thing, after Aziraphale had been too slow to properly help the humans, while accurately sassing him for not understanding the impacts of poverty on humanity. It's not hard to see why Aziraphale might believe Crowley would prefer not to be a demon. There are times he makes a better angel than Aziraphale. Although to be fair, Crowley did overdo it on that hole. 

Date Night

A toast ‘to shades of grey’. Aziraphale’s choice of words, Aziraphale’s choice to make it a toast. It’s an interesting pair of choices. Aziraphale has been in the middle with Crowley for thousands of years, but this is the moment he lets himself acknowledge the value of shades of grey. What does it mean, given everything Aziraphale has already done? Aziraphale had been believing everything he had done was 100% good, he just had convoluted justifications. Now his convoluted justifications only get him as far as very light grey, and he is finally starting to make his peace with that. 

Does that mean he isn’t thinking of himself as 100% aligned with God? I think sometimes yes, but also sometimes no. The other option is that he doesn’t think God is 100% good anymore. Each version represents a massive shift. If we understand Aziraphale’s journey to being at peace with himself as a Daoist one, and I think there is a lot of subtext to that effect, Daoism doesn’t do absolutist good and evil. Things just… are. The divine isn’t a refined extreme. The Dao isn’t ‘good.’ It is. Full stop. I think Aziraphale will consider God less good more readily than he will consider himself misaligned with Her. 

Why now? Because he realised, fully into his conscious awareness, that he was in love with a demon, as a demon. Nothing else fits the toast because nothing else changed in terms of Aziraphale’s philosophical alignment. Many flashbacks have brought us new things Aziraphale is willing to do that might distance himself from the ranks of the institution of heaven. Nothing new happened on that front in 1941. Many flashbacks have shown Aziraphale having new ways he is willing to understand the human world. Nothing new happened on that front in 1941. Something shifted in the way he understands his sense of self and his relationship to God, and one of the few things that still ties back to that is the role of angels and demons in the universe. It wasn’t what he was willing to do that broke new ideological ground, it was what he was willing to feel.

That willingness to feel broke a psychological wall for Aziraphale, and I believe with that wall down he can now think of himself and Crowley as somewhat ‘human aligned’ when it comes to certain aspects of their morality. Aziraphale talks with Crowley about the shades of grey they prefer. The way the term prefer is used here implies they have options. Options implies a choice. Choice was supposed to be for people. They may not have the ability to choose their employer, but they are both choosing to be a bit grey, and now they can say it to each other out loud. I will come back to this point in a future post.

You Go Too Fast For Me

He knows he is in love with a demon, but he still isn’t ready to act on it. He says maybe one day. I think all of him wants Crowley, but not all of him wants to want a demon. I think some of the fandom doesn’t want to process this about Aziraphale, but really think about it. If Crowley was an angel rescuing him and the books in the church, then in the 60’s offering to take him anywhere he wants to go, do you really think he would still say no? There is of course a conflation between their roles on opposite sides of celestial conflict and Crowley’s metaphysical status as a demon. It's the being on opposite sides that's the problem. I don’t think Aziraphale has any sort of disgust reaction or aversion to demonic features or demonic energy. But the metaphysical status of demon is the origin of their opposite sides situation, and Aziraphale isn’t prepared to feel like that is entirely arbitrary, even if it’s part of a bigger ineffable plan. Too fast isn’t a forever no, it’s check back later. Aziraphale knows it will ‘feel right’ down the line, and I don’t think that depends on demonic status going away, just on him needing time to process his feelings. For Aziraphale’s lifetime, 1941-1967 is the blink of an eye. 

Part 6/10

End Notes

On willful ignorance: In my opinion, IRL willful ignorance mostly takes the form of a motivated lack of awareness. If a particular perspective, interpretation, relevant factor, explanation, ect… doesn’t line up with a person’s sense of self or behaviour, it stays out of awareness because the background mechanisms of the mind work to keep it out of awareness. The information they do not absorb is targeted. It isn’t random, it follows a strategy, and yet, they have no idea that they are doing it. It is… exhausting… to engage with that.

On pedestals: It has been observed that the level of misogyny in a country correlates very highly with a tendency to put women on pedestals. The more prevalent attitudes about how wonderful and perfect women are for doing all the womanly things so well predicts both a strong demand that women conform to those expectations and harsh penalties when they don't. Putting a person on a pedestal is a way to feel like you are honoring that person when you are actually threatening them.

On God having a plan for Crowley: I’ll be going into further detail as to why I think Aziraphale believes this and what it means in a future post, probably the final post. The closest we see him get to expressing this perspective to Crowley is the “May you be forgiven,” and if that is where he was going with it, that was like, the worst way he could possibly have put it. I do wonder if the 1941 apology dance could have come from Aziraphale telling Crowley he thinks God has a martyr plan for him. I think internally acknowledging that he was in love could have led to him saying it, and I think Crowley would be very valid in wanting an apology if he had. That said, I think the apology dance could also be explained by Aziraphale almost getting them caught with the magic show, and taking his time to reveal that he had swapped the photos. 

While we're talking about old apology dances, I think the 1650 one probably had something to do with Anne Greene.