#devalue and discard

[harrycosmo]

Officer Pete Davis is just dreamy, but then psychopaths often are.

Ray Liotta's Officer Pete in Unlawful Entry (1992) is very well-written. He wants to take Karen (Madeleine Stowe) away from Michael (Kurt Russell) and he is in fact impotent without that sense of victory over someone he's insecure about. He infantilises and emasculates Michael having first become a trusted friend which makes it that much more difficult for Michael to resist being identified in that humiliating way. Michael manages to listen to his instinct that something is wrong and Pete begins to torment Michael into anti-social behaviour while being charming and unobjectionable. He can always claim his intentions were friendly when he crosses boundaries and often he can even defend his actions with a reminder that Michael had actually said that he wanted this or that thing to happen - in each case, Michael had quite obviously just been speaking casually.

Michael is onto him first and Karen thinks he’s overreacting - people are usually quicker at spotting dodgy behaviour in members of their own sex, perhaps because of background intrasexual competition that underlies nearly all social interactions - but he is eventually able to get her to see it. Any woman who Pete fails to seduce is devalued as a whore and discarded. Karen ends up having to play along with his delusion in order to avoid being killed.

Unlawful Entry came out the same year as The Hand that Rocks the Cradle which features a female psychopath employing similar tactics and who is just as deadly.

[bookwyrminspiration]

when you make a point and then someone goes "yeah! I agree that *a completely different misinterpretation of your point that they missed entirely*" like. dude. that wasn't at all what I said where did you even get that

[danielryancotlerpoetry]

[audliminal]

I stg if I see one more person call the goddamn honeymoon phase of a relationship "love bombing" I'm going to chew through the earth's crust

[thepastisalreadywritten]

This is how a narcissist keeps you hooked. ☠️

📹: tarnetwork

[ruminate88]

We Both Loved Him

My biggest issue with my ex, Andrew, is we both loved him and there was no one to love me… not even me, sadly. I put Andrew’s needs before my own. He got me attached after his love-bombing and bread-crumbing. I never knew such things existed back then. I only knew there was a ton of “fog” between us but couldn’t seem to make sense of any of it. I was majorly obsessed with Andrew and when we weren’t texting, I was day dreaming of him and re-reading our old text and staring at pictures I had saved from Snapchat and Instagram! I was sick and Andrew was my drug!!! 🤒

After v-day of 2015, when Andrew first started to seem really cold towards me, I had a very bad feeling he was lying to me and cheating on me too but I was afraid to accept what my gut was telling me. Andrew now had me in what I believe to be the “devaluation phase” which lasted for a couple months!! He was still doing intermittent reinforcement too! At random times, Andrew would be super hot towards me and romantic but then turn around and ignore me for hours which eventually turned into days!! Sometimes I wouldn’t hear from him for 2/3 days, I would be sitting next to my phone crying and confused but then he would always randomly text me again with “Hey Babe 😘” and my heart would leap for joy!! I would always always text him back so excited but question what’s going on and he always had excuses to “how busy school is” and “how hard he’s studying.” Andrew would cry to me his parents were so strict and he was afraid to fail his classes….

Especially on weekends, I was most vulnerable. Most Friday nights he was at the fraternity house partying and would Snapchat me from there at like 3am with “hey” no emojis, nothing else just a selfie of him alone and I would wonder where was everyone else, why was he sitting alone at a party and why was he hiding me??? I would respond back to his snap but THEN he wouldn’t respond back again till later next day in the afternoon and tell me how tired he is…. I would try to understand hm and not push him because he had me walking on eggshells, afraid to push him away but I was starting to get fed up with waiting on him. I kept asking myself if he’s truly so “busy with school” and he still had 2 more years left, would I be able to handle it?

Eventually I started sending Andrew big long text, expressing my feelings about how I’m always waiting to get to talk to him and spend time but he’s seemingly so busy all the time. He cried to me every time how hard school was and how he didn’t think he was able to pass his classes and was worried to upset his parents. He made me feel sorry for him but he was also hurting me so much by constantly ignoring me and then randomly would show me attention and would be romantic when I least expected. He would always tell me he was sorry he was so busy that he was going to try to change and do better by me… NOTHING changed though. I would even ask him if he just wanted “to be friends only” so he could focus on school since he was “sooooo busy” but Andrew would always tell me I was his priority and he did not want to break up!! One day he had a snow day at school and I only knew it because he tweeted it… I was disappointed he hadn’t texted me back from the evening before. I waited and waited so beside myself THEN he randomly sent me a Snapchat of himself naked in his shower saying “hey babe, sorry I have been studying all day.” I tried to believe him and I was so excited he not only messaged me but sent me a nude too. Andrew also sent me another one and said “I missed you soooooo much!! I really wish you were here! I need a break from studying!” I thought we were gonna talk and cyber sex but then he took hours again to respond…. Clearly he was messing with me but I just didn’t understand it all.

One Sunday morning he text me that “he was going to be in a study group and not be on his phone” and was trying to tell me basically he needed to be away from me a few hours BUT the way he worded it, I thought for sure he was trying to say he needed space…. I freaked out because he had me attached, terrified to lose him and the way he was always ignoring me anyway, I just assumed he wanted space from me. I ended up sending him 2 and 3 long paragraphs about how I feel, how I fear he doesn’t love me and he’s too busy for me. I’m basically spilling my guts out to him, begging him for reasons to the rhyme. NOTHING was adding up to me or changing!! Andrew finally wrote back to me and said he was not trying to break up with me, he just wanted space while he was in his study group and told me I was his still his priority and he still didn’t want to break up HOWEVER, it really felt to me that he did. I felt he was not into me anymore like he was before V-day but I couldn’t quite explain it.

It got worse from there. Andrew’s responses to me got shorter, less, it was extremely hard to get him to spend any time talking to me and his snaps got less too. Still he would randomly turn around and be romantic again and cyber sex with me. At this point, I was really becoming drained because I felt all I did was sit tied to my phone waiting and praying for him to text me and then when he would, I was worried about what to say back. I was trying anything and everything to keep him interested in me but it was just too late!! He had been pulling away (which is what a narcissist does after love bomb) and nothing I could do to stop him!! I began to Google my brains out over him, trying to get answers. I had the horrible gut feeling that Andrew was cheating. I felt there was other girls involved but I couldn’t be for sure.

Then it was time for his exams and that’s all he talked about. He would cry to me he’s gotta study, so I would tell him to focus on it and that we could just be friends. That would upset him and he would say to me he doesn’t wanna do that but why can’t I accept how busy he is and basically just sit and wait … ? I would tell him I missed him and just wanted to be with him that I loved him and didn’t understand why that’s so bad but I would tell him I didn’t like how stressed he was to basically not dump all his stress on me and if he was too busy for me, dump me please. Don’t keep me hanging constantly but he would get more and more upset at me, typing in caps to me, saying he can’t help it that he’s not trying to purposely put his stress on me just that he’s afraid to fail his exams. He would try to make me feel bad and guilty and wanted me to be too nervous to break up with him because he would get extremely defensive towards me but yet wouldn’t have conversation with me, kept saying how he had to focus on studying for his exams. It was becoming too confusing for me and I was close to breaking down with him!! Nothing positive I said helped him and it didn’t matter how much I poured out my feelings for him, he was just upset all the time. Upset when I bothered him and upset if I tried to break up. I remember going back and forth with him one night he was telling me it was going to be a bad week at school that he doesn’t have time for anything outside of studying and homework and I begged him to spare me. Begged him to break up with me so he could free himself and he just got so defensive and wouldn’t apologize to me for the way he was making me feel so bad about myself BUT said he wasn’t trying to give me all his stress, basically said he didn’t know how to deal with his stress. I tried so hard to be loving and understanding but I felt he just wasn’t accepting my help. Just treating me like “you don’t understand how hard college is” type deal.

I googled him like mad crazy trying to get answers. I had found his mom’s Facebook too and had been stalking it because she had so many baby pictures of Andrew AND I was trying to understand who Andrew was. His mom appeared normal to me at the time and the family photos she posted seemed normal too!! I was beyond worried and confused who Andrew was and what was his intentions!! I finally confessed to him one night that I found his mom’s Facebook, that I had been looking at his baby pictures AND HE FREAKED OUT! I was so shocked. He told me I had no business looking at her Facebook and that I was not allowed to add her as a friend!!!!!! I told Andrew that I didn’t even use Facebook, I was only looking at it for fun. He then said it was ok BUT told me he was not ready for “all that”. Even though I’m supposed to be his girlfriend and he doesn’t ever wanna break up, yet I’m not allowed to view his moms Facebook?? It was weird… Worse, I could sense he was still upset about it and I APOLOGIZED FOR IT!!! (How stupid was I???) Andrew told me that it was ok but that I scared him over it all but he wasn’t upset even though he freaked out towards me and promised me everything was fine. It didn’t feel fine though, he felt ice cold to me and I wasn’t sure how long I could last. It felt like he was making the relationship miserable. 🥺

I had been crying to my online friends how much I worried Andrew was lying to me and cheating on me but I wouldn’t leave him. Andrew consistently promised me he didn’t wanna break up that everything was going to get better but it never did and I found myself on the edge. One of my friends from Seattle, named Bri, kept saying I shouldn’t trust him and I should know for sure if he’s cheating. She even said she would text him for me to find out the truth but I asked her please don’t do that to let me figure it all out myself. Naturally Bri went against my wishes and started texting Andrew behind my back trying to get answers for me. She ended up texting him off and on for A WHOLE MONTH behind my back and I had no idea about it. I was completely in the dark.

next came the “discard phase” and it was super messy and brutal 😢 It will be hard to talk about in my next post because it makes no sense and it’s super hurtful but it’s part of my story!!

[lumi-waxes-poetic]

re: the Neil Gaiman shit

In light of recent revelations, it is very likely you or someone in your circle is seriously rethinking their relationship to Neil Gaiman's books.

That's perfectly natural. But if I might offer a word of advice (which of course you may do what you like with, I'm not god)?

If his books ever meant something to you growing up, and some part of you, no matter how small, refuses to let them go? That's okay. Don't devalue or burn cherished things just because the Author is a Horrible Person.

God only knows that if that were the requirement, we'd have little left to enjoy in the world.

If you feel the need to have a reckoning with your bookshelf, do not let my words stop you. Keep or discard his books at your own recognizance. Just remember that he is merely the author of these books: he is not the books themselves. If ever his books communicated something Good and True to you, do not feel pressured to throw that Good and True thing away just because the source was less good than you thought it was.

Despite his(overwhelmingly probable) guilt, Neil is ALSO one of the genuinely best writers we've had in DECADES. This will understandably complicate his legacy. As much as we like things to be simple, people are often multiple things simultaneously, and we often will dislike or even hate some of those things.

Was Neil being a hypocrite when he supported feminist and LGBTQIA+ causes while also being a huge... <gestures to all the allegations>? Very definitely. But I don't want to see the genuine strides his support helped make possible fall away just because his hypocrisy was revealed. I don't want to see people ignore or undermine the frankly EXCELLENT MESSAGES in a lot of his books just because the author didn't live up to the standards he wrote about.

This isn't about absolving Neil in the slightest. I hope he gets whatever justice he's due. But don't punish yourself arbitrarily for it. If you have decided that now is the time to move on from his books forever, I don't blame you. If you decide to keep reading his books and they inspire you to be a better person than him, that's just as awesome. Spite that sunnuvabitch with his own works.

It is my hope that people can and will continue to enjoy his stories, and take home from them some excellent messages, long after he faces justice for his actions as a person. He wouldn't be the first author whose works were forgiven long after his personal harms were done; literary history is replete with such individuals -- Lord Byron, Virginia Woolfe, Robert E. Howard, Ernest Hemingway, Ezra Pound, Vladimir Nabokov, etc. The list goes on and on for as long as one wishes to peruse it. Their problematic acts as people cannot and should not be ignored, but neither can nor should their works. Perhaps Neil Gaiman is in good company, then, as we add his name to that list. A brilliant author, with brilliant works to his name, but a far less than brilliant man.

Only you can decide how your relationship with the books you have read will work out. You alone have the power to determine what authors you read and whose works shall adorn your bookshelves.

Don't let the crowd tell you what you're allowed to read, but perhaps don't discount the crowd's opinion out of hand on this one either. They do, after all, have a point.

[princessgarnetxvi]

Everything Johan did was For Anna/Nina

Everything Johan did was for Anna. 

                      A “Monster” capable of love.

“What I’m most afraid of is…forgetting Anna. The strange lessons we have everyday… are making my memories fade. Please, don’t make me forget Anna. It’s only Anna and me in this whole world. Just give me that - please. Please.”  – Johan Liebert”

I was very confused about the complexities of Johan's character up until the last handful of episodes. After rewatching the series for a 3rd time and exploring how Johan is portrayed in the manga, it became very clear to me that my initial opinions about Johan were basic and devalued the intricacies of Naoki's writing. From the beginning we are only TOLD by conflicting views, who Johan was. His character, in the fictional world as well as our own, is simply defined by an individual's perception of him and the story presented. However, if we dissect ALL of the themes and even the undertones Naoki presented to us through the world of characters; I think it would be evident that Johan was not committing heinous acts for superficial reasons such as simply being evil to be evil.

So what was the method to his madness? 

I believe... Everything he did was for Anna.

(Yes this includes erasing himself from existence too )

Author's Note: I want to preface before you read on that although these essays are written in a sympathizing light that Johan has done PLENTY of wrong. This is not written in an attempt to dismiss his heinous acts lightly, but to simply understand the "Monster" of the series by tackling Johan's crimes deeper than the surface. I tried to make sense of Johan's every action in regards to his OVERALL PLAN and why Naoki presented them to us as viewers. For those who will nitpick the term "everything" quite literally, I want to make it clear that not E V E R Y S I N G L E A C T I O N Johan has taken coincides with his love for his sister; his actions towards the children specifically - because there are some things that had nothing to do with his "perfect plan" but more to do with attempting to build Johan's character and his view of the world us as viewers. Justifying ones actions vs. rationalizing ones actions are completely different. I am in no way attempting to discard the accountabilities that Johan should face for his actions, but instead trying to make sense of it all. I've analyzed Johan's crimes against children here: https://xprincessgarnetxvi.tumblr.com/post/691678531250487296/i-really-love-reading-your-essays-i-can However, this will explain the root of Johan's character and the core of his overall plan(s) that was committed for the sake of his sister from the very beginning to the end. The overarching theme and message of Monster is that there are no such thing as Monsters, only broken human beings capable of great evil; so we will humanize this great Monster in order to understand not only Johan Liebert, but the hows/whys Tenma/Nina was able to forgive him and ultimately find value in saving the life of this supposed Monster.

Before we begin, I'd like to take the time to thank you for reading! I can't wait to review your comments and further discuss this magnificent series of Monster!

-

Anna was set up from the beginning to become The “Monster” given she was the one who actually endured the experiments. Her tendencies are shown in glimmers throughout the show. The heartbreaking twist to it though... is that the only reason why she DID not become the beast, was because SHE ( unlike Johan ) HAD KNOWN REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

-Johan’s love and sacrifice is what kept her safe from the darkness he knew very well. He got his hands dirty to shield her. He chose to leave her behind in the care of her foster parents, knowing she would forget him, in order to heal.

He chose her than himself over and over; becoming her shadow; choosing to lose his only attachment to his already weakened identity in order for her to heal.

His love for her is why she never became a monster...and tragically, why Johan had.

Which reflects exactly what Mikhail Petrov (whose real name is Reinhart Biermann) said about his "PROFOUND DISCOVERY" concerning his current experiment on the children he had in his home; he said the children did not become animals because he gave them LOVE.

(Mikhail Petrov telling Grimmer how the children in his current experiment did not become Monster - it was because they had LOVE.)

In his own twisted way and view on things, he was protecting her. He killed every "parental" figure they had because he was betrayed by every adult figure in his life so far. People who mentioned calling the police, ended up finding out about their past - anything that could lead the man, who Johan referred to as “The Monster” into finding them, he disposed of.

The adults in their lives thus far would betray them, torture them, hurt them, throw them away- and forcefully separate them. In his severely abused mental state, any adult figure was a potential threat to his and Anna’s safety. So he’d kill in order to runaway from "the monster" and protect Anna. Then when Anna found out about the blood on his hands that fateful night the Monster paid them a visit, he realized that now he had become someone Anna feared - a different kind of Monster but all the similar to the one they were running from.

So he rationalized that now he needed to die.

In that moment, I think we should focus on his body language and expressions. Johan faced the ground. hardly picking up his eyes. His shoulders were sunken and he did not have that menacing little smile he usually had. Johan has killed in secret various times with Anna and back at Kinderheim.

So why was he so messy with the Lieberts?

Because he did not want to kill them - he said HE HAD TO.

It was not a calculated murder, because he was not truly calm and collected; He was afraid.

Lets not forget who Johan was up until that moment: the infamous little boy who provoked an entire riot and massacre by simply opening his mouth. With mere words he was able to sway the adults and children into doing what he wanted. BUT IN THAT MOMENT when Anna caught him red handed, he could not, or rather, would not - try and manipulate Anna.

(He has never once been shown trying to manipulate or abuse her throughout the entire series as he has done intentionally with the rest of the world.)

Instead, he asked her to shoot him and run - in an attempt to finally liberate her from the horrific life they had to lead up until now - blaming his existence for the constant chase their predator (Bonaparte) gave way to them as prey because in that moment, his memories were distorted and he believed he was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion. **** (X) (this theory is challenged referenced below)

To Johan, him living was a danger to Anna and that night made it evident to him.

But when he was brought back to life and realized the gravity behind his methods, seeing how terrified Anna was of him - he started to cry. Because despite his initial feelings of finding his death absolutely necessary for her to be safe, he still wanted what he had with her; the only bond of love he ever knew.

What set his entire ADULT plan into motion (wiping out everyone who ever hurt Anna and created HIM) was Anna's rejection at the hospital. That was when he realized internally, he was beyond forgiveness and that he was nothing more than a monster. A Nameless monster in her reflection that needed to die in order for her to live in peace. (Referencing the God of Peace storybook. )

Johan was the one who gifted the God (Anna) her hat and then she saw herself as the Monster she was supposed to be due to the Red Rose Mansion experiments. This would NOT have happened if Johan did not give her the hat (the red hat which can symbolize the blood he spilled for her. ) so in this instance, Johan is also the reflection (you are me and I am you. They are both nameless monsters)

From that moment on, he wanted to wipe out his entire existence, and that meant those who ALSO "created" him so that Anna could heal as Nina.

I believe this is what is depicted in the Nameless Monster storybook. 

Initially, we are made to believe Johan wanted to “consume everyone” so he would be the last one standing. The Monster known as Johan in the book also devours his counterpart, the Monster who went West and then there is no one left to call him by his name. But clearly, Johan never does this, because Johan never attempts to kill/devour Anna/Nina - because what it symbolizes is entirely different in nature regarding Johan’s intention. 

A quick reminder that both Johan and Anna were considered Nameless Monsters. HOWEVER - by Johan’s hands, Anna does not remain “Nameless” nor does she ever become a “monster” the moment Johan decided to not only leave her behind in the hands of a loving family, but by her changing her name and her identity to Nina. The Fortners never made any implication that they knew of Nina’s past concerning the Lieberts murder and I believe this is because Johan introduced her as Nina to the Fortners and never allowed them to see the trail behind her identity as Anna Liebert. 

Symbolically, Johan, as the Nameless Monster, consumed the Monster inside of Anna and became the only Monster left. This is what is mirrored in Johan’s intentions and the Nameless Monster storybook. 

With Anna forgetting him and Johan leaving her behind thus losing his only connection to someone who truly knew him, now all that is left is Johan, without absolutely anyone to call him by his name - the one and only Nameless Monster.

And this is heavily referenced in Another Monster:

(This reinforces that Johan was trying to make Nina forget her past as Anna)

There wasn’t some sick satisfaction from any of his killings done when he was a child. To him, it was needed for the sake of her safety. This was Johan’s initial “plan.” set in motion. He wanted to be the only one left in the world with his sister - so that they wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore. 

(I also believe at that point when they were kids, Johan's very first plan he referred to when telling Anna "Remember, I have a plan." was to run to another country with her so that the Monster will never find them. It is the only logical idea of a plan that a child could conjure following what he actually leads them to do, which was cross the border. Simply destroying the world is unreachable in his current state and Johan is smart enough to not be delusional in his endeavors. With that being said, he had to kill that old couple to erase any trail they may have left of "two beautiful blonde twins." But this plan fails because they nearly die at the Czech Border and was discovered. )

(Johan telling Anna he has a plan.)

RUHENHEIM:

One of the biggest moments in Ruhenheim has been misinterpreted and lost due to the mistranslations in both the English Dub and the Japanese subtitles. 

I clarify and mend this by breaking down what Nina unraveled in Boneparte’s house when she looked at the portraits by correctly translating the Japanese script/text in depth here on this post:

 But to summarize it for the purpose of this essay, it was revealed to us as viewers that Johan apologized to Anna when she returned from the Red Rose Mansion, revealing the overwhelming weight of guilt he carried when Anna had been taken that day. 

(That day depicts the moment their mother made the terrible 'Choice')

and then Johan accepts his mother will never return to them (assuming she abandoned them) and goes on to tell Anna this:

Johan is the one crying because soon after, Nina tells us that Johan was in that room crying.

This information provides clarity as to why Nina was finally able to understand Johan, empathize with him enough to be able to forgive him. She remembered he was a boy who felt guilty over what happened to her; a boy who cried when he realized they were now all alone in the world.  She understood that Johan desperately did anything and everything to ensure he and Anna survived despite it all.

That Rainy Night:

I want to GREATLY EMPHASIZE the important factor I missed my first time watching the scenes with Johan/Anna - the scenes shown to us were ONLY through her recollection as fragments due to her memory loss. They were told from what she COULD remember, so her take on what really happened that rainy night the first few times the events are unfolded before us should not be taken as absolute. At least...up until it is revealed in the final episodes that Anna realized that on that night instead of seeming like an empty shell of a person asking for death, Johan was crying and crying before she shot him.

The scene where Anna finds the portraits reveals what truly happened between them and its so important. She said “Johan was crying “here” just like before.” She was mimicking a memory she had just recalled in its entirety. “Why are you crying, why are you crying?” She sounded in distress. Directly after she reveals that she remembers him crying, it shows the image of him pointing at his head that rainy night.

Even though Johan told her to shoot him, it is IMPORTANT that he was crying and the author highlights this for a reason.

I believe that, finally being able to vividly remember that day finally revealed to her that Johan wasn’t the “face of absolute evil” she initially dismissed him to be; he was a boy/man who could cry and mourn - he was human. He was a terrified boy protecting Anna and himself the only way he knew how. and instead of showing him forgiveness/love - she added on to his collection of wounds scarred upon his soul from everyone else who chose to harm him.

Tenma...was ultimately the ONLY one in his life who showed him kindness.

Johan's intentions and reasons behind many crimes: Essay II.

( I will summarize it here as the extension essay was far too long to put on this post)

**** (☓) I want to ask, did Johan truly believe he was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion or was that simply a masquerade he performed to make sure Anna did not remember?

(I wrote an essay on this being a possibility here: PART 2 OF THIS ESSAY. This will explain Johan's intentions in depth)

(this is a theory I FIRMLY believe and have completely adopted. But for the sake of argument, I will entertain both concepts behind Johan's memory in this essay.)

If we entertain the idea that Johan never misconstrued his memories about the Red Rose and pretended he did, I can dissect Johan’s intentions a bit more intricately.

Throughout the series you see that he is trying to wipe everyone who knew of what happened to Anna off the face of the earth, that included himself. He did not want Anna to remember. So when it was revealed she did remember, he mourned. It was subtle but evident in the anime when she reveals “you are wrong.” something in him shifted - for once he was reacting to the words of another.

She said "he had a smile but seemed like he was crying. I never seen such an expression on his face before." That entire scene, Johan’s eyes expressed something we’ve never seen from him throughout the series - a sense of mourning or longing?

Johan in front of Anna always appeared the most human and I feel Naoki did this with purpose.

(Naoki specifically told the directors/animators of the anime series to never stray from how he expressed Johan's eyes for a very important reason. )

Johan's expression finally meeting Anna after 13 years apart.

-

If, however, Johan DID truly think he was the one who suffered at the red rose mansion, his “perfect suicide” plan still relates to his twisted-selfless feelings for Anna.

Johan learns it was not him that suffered at the Red Rose Mansion...but Anna instead. and then Johan goes on to commit the "perfect suicide." In his plan to die, he wanted to take The Monster with him, forcing Bonaparte to endure the same exact hell he forced Anna to suffer as a child.

Call it an act of revenge. Some may think Johan is incapable of being vengeful but I cannot see this cruel and calculated act as anything other than malice. After Bonaparte was finally dead, the monster disposed of - Johan was ready to die.

But you can see his conviction began to slip away when Anna forgave him. What made it worse was realizing he was wrong about Tenma because even now, Tenma was still hesitating on killing him ruthlessly like he always presumed would happen. Johan thought he had humans all figured out - after all, all Johan has EVER known was the darkness in people’s hearts. That is why he was so confused/moved by Tenma and wanted so desperately to prove him wrong.

The manga portrays Johan’s expressions 1000X BETTER THAN THE ANIME. As soon as Anna arrives, Johan is just staring at the floor, unable to look at her - Repeating everything from that fateful rainy night when they were kids. But this time, Anna doesn’t kill him, she chooses love and compassion. and when she says she forgives him - his reaction is something the anime does not do justice

(The subtle shift the artist expressed in his eyes from her words is so significant but missed in the anime; but he reacts rather deeply, moved and shocked by her words.)

Because "Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again."

In the manga he isn’t quick to reply. He ponders over her words carefully and I think this is when his mind starts panicking.

Anna realized that forgiveness was the one thing he wanted that night she shot him, despite him also thinking his death was needed. His value depended on her view of him; and what she once robbed from him was now returned - a human being worthy of forgiveness instead of a monster.

He is telling her the evident truth that he cannot turn back because he TRULY believes Tenma is going to kill him any moment.

Johan refuses her forgiveness not because he resents her or thinks its too late for her to redeem herself - but because he doesn’t think he deserves it. “There are somethings that cannot be undone.” Because it is too late, Johan is going to die - he WANTS to die. Then you see the fear and helplessness in his eyes after getting the one thing he always wanted [ Anna’s forgiveness] because he desperately wanted to die as the only thing he knew himself to be: the nameless, nonexistent monster. But both Anna and Tenma rob him of that by bestowing upon him the gift of compassion, mercy and empathy; for the first time treating and valuing him like a human being instead of a monster,god,experiment, devil etc., as everyone around him has his entire life.

(The Monster inside of Johan begins to crumble.)

Johan in his final moments was cracking and finally falling apart. You see it in the final expression he makes: the distraught, confusion and sadness. Because he realized, he was wrong about people, he was wrong about the world. But how can we blame him for his view on humanity when all he has ever been shown since birth was how ugly, selfish, cruel and inhumane people can be?

How can we expect someone who has only seen darkness to be able to find the light?

I want to clarify one thing I noticed: Johan has never shown to take any kind of sick satisfaction from killing unlike all the other serial killers being interviewed in the series. (aside from Richard) Specifically, Johan is without "the lust for murder" as Lunge explains in Another Monster - which is why Johan hired other people to kill for him instead. Especially contrasting Johan with Roberto, specifically, when Roberto tries to kill Anna.

(that is until Richard, which makes Johan's dealings with him stand out for a reason. He doesn't even take pleasure in killing the Red Hiddenburg, he leaves before witnessing her death instead of reveling in his 'checkmate' coming to fruition.)

Despite his callousness and his lack of care for life - Johan, despite how much of a "monster" he was, very clearly had humanity and had love....for his sister most of all. Johan saw when his mother choose, how little their lives meant to her and this instilled his nihilism at such a young age. He watched Anna get tossed to the wolves like nothing and in that moment, he probably thought his mother chose Anna over him for a reason. (even though the question on her intention would haunt him for the rest of his life) But her being able to choose is what hurt him the most and it's probably what instilled his self sacrificing mentality to care for Anna above the world in order to never make the same mistake his mother had.

That is why after she got back from the Red Rose Mansion, he cried for her story and apologized as if it was his responsibility to feel guilty over what happened to her. It should have been him that suffered. Then after, he treats her with the upmost care, telling her everything is hers, no matter what she will win everything because he would deem it so. He is kind to her, never letting go of her hand even when she is dragging behind - he sacrificed all of himself for her...

Because she deserved everything in the world to contrast their mother throwing her away.

(it should be noted that the Lieberts did not want Anna either but only adopted her because Johan refused to leave the orphanage without her. Which is also why I believe he killed them when Bonaparta came because he thought the Lieberts were conspiring with Bonaparta to get Anna)

🌰 (The ‘Acorn game’ represents their Mother's choice, a child in each hand. But in this version, Johan would ensure that no matter what hand Anna chooses, she will NEVER choose wrong. He manipulates the fate behind her choices by holding two acorns instead of one; never letting her make the same mistake as her mother.)

He wanted her to know above all else, she was loved.

A clear indication of this adoration/attachment he has for her is the fact that he DOES NOT forget her even after enduring the hellish experiments in Kinderheim that aimed at wiping out / messing around with his memories.

-

I wrote this because I was astounded to see various posts/Wiki pages implying that Johan’s intentions were to torture Anna and make her kill herself. Telling her to shoot him was his first attempt to drive her insane? They twisted a lot of things Johan did to try and make this statement true. But I cannot comprehend how they drew this conclusion? The series has characters mentioning on more than a few occasions that Anna is dear to Johan. "He is lost with you."

Everyone knew Anna was important to Johan, Professor Geidlitz was the first to mention this besides the old blind man. Roberto was aware of this which is why he tried to kill her as mentioned in Another Monster. Which is ALSO why Peter Capek tried to hold her hostage to prevent Johan from killing him.

and for the first time, Johan DOESN'T kill him.

Johan cried when he awoke at the hospital after he reached for his sister and she screamed in fear of him. His face full of tears - his heart completely broken. If his intention was to drive Anna insane, he would have triumphed in that moment she screamed and fell to the ground after he reached out to her. But instead he mourned.

Anna has mentioned several times that Johan has cried for her, like when he was in the room full of their happy portraits, he was crying. He never once tried to bring harm to Anna - not intentionally towards her person. Explaining the Fortners murder - either he killed the Fortners after they decided to keep lying to her, thus keeping him in the shadows when he wanted to return. OR he killed them because they were going to tell her the truth about her identity, which was something Johan worked to conceal. (this theory is explained thoroughly in essay #2 )

Regardless, if he wanted to torment her, he would not have tried to lure her away to the castle when he set up the Fortners to be killed.

They imply that Johan wanted to torture her and then kill her at the end. But that makes absolutely no sense. Where in the storyline does Johan give off this tendency towards her? Even at the end he told her where to meet him in Ruhenheim and not once did he try to shoot her or Tenma. Honestly, if he really wanted to provoke Tenma to shoot him, he would have held the gun to Anna instead of a random child. But even though being shot by Tenma was his greatest endeavor, he refused to point the gun at someone who was important to Tenma...because Anna, is important to Johan too.

To say Johan, despite being hailed as the Monster of the series, had no love or humanity in him and was merely the Devil himself...completely missed the point of the story...

I’d like to point out the constant mentioning of Hitler in this story and draw another important factor...Hitler brainwashed people to commit mass genocide. Under his rule, millions perished in horrific ways. But despite that...Hitler was capable of loving others. Hitler was also loved by others. The terrifying truth about people who commit atrocities...is that they are not monsters or demons or devils...

they are merely human.

-

Here’s two passages from ANOTHER MONSTER [novel post Monster written by Naoki] that really drives this point:

- PSA: My twin brother FINALLY finished his 2 HOUR Johan Analysis Essay, that dives deeper into Johan's character. This essay and essay #2 will be included in this analysis video as we both worked on it together. However, this lays out the details visually and with beautiful music. Please watch!

[thevirgodoll]

a lot of people have destroyed others by saying “I love you” but throwing them away in the trash later when communication is off. why say “I love you” if you’re going to lose patience and kindness later? why say “I love you” if you can’t have perspective for your partner’s pain, not just yours? why say “I love you” if you’re going to devalue and discard?

sometimes, people idealize us and love who they create us to be… and never get to know who we really are. they get upset when we don’t fit their projections. they think feedback means you love them less. they think days YOU are struggling is hatred. they think their lashings for going outside of the “rules” is love. they cast fear and doubts on us because they don’t even love themselves enough yet to believe you love them.

people are doing things in their best interest and should just admit it. they say they love you to get something from you. they don’t even know what “love” is. they don’t even understand the concept. when they have it they destroy it with their bare hands. but they would never want anyone to do the same.

I am tired of everyone using “love” so loosely when the truth is that they love the future ahead and can’t even have patience learning who we are now. genuinely would rather die than ever hear it again fr

[sepublic]

I would not be surprised if Jacob Hopkins was actually descended from real life witch hunter Matthew Hopkins, and it’s part of the reason for his obsession; This idea that it’s “in his blood” and that he was “born special” because of it.

This adds to Jacob being a mundane Belos, both of them having the same beliefs and insincere delusions behind them; While he must’ve seen Gravesfield disavow witch hunting through Hunter’s eyes, he might’ve seen Jacob’s bullshit and used it as validation that these beliefs still exist, and them being reviled is just everyone else’s fault. Belos thinks he’s special because he’s a Christian white boy, and it ties back into how some of those “born special” tropes are rooted in eugenics.

And the way Belos was breeding as many Grimwalkers as possible, multiple at once, choosing the ones that looked most like Caleb and cultivating them to have ‘desirable’ traits… Treating people like plants, it makes me think of eugenics. The Puritans were forebearers for the U.S. and its issues the Nocedas struggle with, and the U.S. has had a history of eugenics…

After all, consider Belos’ outrage at Caleb having a child with a lesser species, creating a human-witch hybrid which to his racist mind is unacceptable. Consider that his outrage was motivated with the realization that a white man like him was now related to a witch; To Belos that’s a deep shame, and so he disavows and denies the Wittebane connection to the Clawthornes.

He denies Caleb, trying to replace him with a brother who doesn’t commit miscegenation, but of course he needs to make this Grimwalker as human as possible via a eugenics program, until out of the last two Grimwalkers, one has round ears after centuries of trying to remove that trait.

But it seems to have been a stillborn, whereas the other one Hunter wasn’t. It also seems to have been grown an adult, possibly a fluke or a way to figure out round ears before applying it to a younger clone. But eventually the portal was found, Belos plans to return to the human realm and discards the last one in anticipation of real (white) humans he doesn’t need to perfect. How fitting then that after rejecting this final Grimwalker, it gets its revenge by rejecting him as the undesirable trait.

Likewise, Belos ignores Hunter for Luz because at least she’s a human, even if she’s the only human and thus someone he has to settle for despite being Afro-Latina. His contempt for witches is undeniably based on concept of genetics and race, because he sees Luz as at least ‘redeemable’ but then admits to the Collector that he won’t extend the same to witches and demons for not being of the same species. Not only does it imply that Belos could save witches and demons, he just hypocritically doesn’t want to, but that he bases this distinction on their flesh, and it’s another reason why he devalues Luz’s status as a witch because she’s human, in a way infinitely contemptible to how that question started with Amity.

So given Belos’ obsession with how being a (white) human makes him so much better, it’s fitting his punishment is to have that (white) humanhood revoked; And instead of using this opportunity to realize how superficial the differences really are when some witches are more alike to humans than Belos himself is now, he makes exceptions for himself as convenient (no doubt fueled by the logic of “Well I used to be human/can turn back”), just as Belos selectively treats the Grimwalkers as human or witches based on what fits the current narrative.

[uncanny-tranny]

I just find it very interesting that all the labour classed as lesser (most often seen as "women's labour") becomes indispensable in moments of crisis. It's just interesting to see how quickly people turn to that labour and then discard it in moments of peace or prosperity, devaluing it until another crisis hits.

[danielryancotlerpoetry]

Late Night Talks with the Moon

[litchiteany]

Foolish girl

Foolish girl, did you not learn from the past

To never chase, never go too fast?

Slow your pace, for in your race,

You’ll hit hard on your face.

Foolish girl, did I not warn you then,

That the toxic cycle will not end,

‘Til you see the signs, know when to run,

Devalued and discarded, you were only fun.

Foolish girl, you dwell on hopeless souls,

Through trials and tribulations, you take the toll,

Forging ahead, no regard for your own,

He will tear you down to the flesh and bone.

Foolish girl, why are you in shock?

His heart bound by chain and lock.

Have you no dignity, no shame,

Your efforts futile, hopes he’ll maim.

Foolish girl, no deficit of better men,

For your wounds fester, inside your den.

Wake up, and see this isn’t new,

Good years, you only have a few.

04-16-24

JI

🩹❤️‍🩹

[rae-butter]

One thing that is chilling to see in fiction is when trauma is normalized. When a character has been living in a situation so long it’s just become normal to be devalued, to be treated as something to be used and discarded, to be beaten and touched and wrung out for all their worth, then fighting to be relevant again.

And a trope I’ve always loved in relation to this is when they say something about it in casual conversation, thinking it’s normal, and someone is like “person a did WHAT to you?”

Then they’re so shocked to find out it’s not normal to be treated that way.

[ride-thedragon]

Nettles, Rhaenyra, Laena, Mysaria, and the Prize that is DAEMON TARGARYEN

Now, I'm not going to sit here and police shipping. I'm also not going to act as though better writers and thinkers long before me haven't talked about the same phenomenon of centring men in women's narratives as a way to value the women. However, as a person in this fandom, I do want to apply this thought to the shipping discourse of Daemon Targaryen because it has become exhausted.

We treat this man as though he's the prize to gain when these women are in relationships with him. In the sense that when Daemon picks these women to have a relationship with they gain a value and devalue the women he leaves behind. We see this with him going:

from Rhea and Mysaria to Laena.

He finally has a Valyrian bride who matches his spirit and can give him Valyrian children. They get along and are of equal standing.

From Laena to Rhaenyra.

He moves on, finds real happiness, finds his true family, becomes the Targaryen he was destined to be with his Targaryen bride at his side, and their Targaryen children with his real family

From Rhaenyra to Mysaria .

Rhaenyra became mournful and wasn't as she once was. Him and Mysaria just have this connection, and Rhaenyra approves.

From Rhaenyra and Mysaria to Nettles.

Daemon finally found someone he could look past himself for. The singers say they end up together. He does all of this and leaves the Rhaenyra to her death because Nettles left. He's finally ready to settle down and grow old. She saved him.

All of this is an overgeneralised hyperbole of conversations I've seen, but they always centre Daemon choosing these women to be in a relationship with as their biggest accomplishment in the narrative. Him at their side is the biggest deal, and when he leaves them, they are discarded and replaced by his new love interest.

The issue with this

Prioritising a man, this man, as the main factor in these relationships, discredit the women who exist outside of him and make it seem as though he's the only thing that adds value to them. The language being used, in short, dismisses their personhood and equates them to something he can own, discard and replace at whim, and he alone adds value to them. It's icky language especially with his game card.

Lady Rhea: wasn't even her choice. She hated him and refused to give him an heir to inherit Runestone. In the show, she makes sure he returns and kills her by insulting his sexual prowess.

Mysaria: is complicit and involved in his worst action but always ensures she pulls herself up with it. Being his courtesan made her wealthy, almost made her his wife. Then she's complicit in blood and cheese and gets herself promoted to the Lady of Whispers to the Queen, eventually putting an end to him.

Laena: CLAIMED THE LARGEST DRAGON IN THE WORLD AS A TEEN. Is quite literally the mother of the girls that survived the Dance. Her blood inherits her house's seat.

Rhaenyra: Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Had men avenge her death, and her son sat on the iron throne after her.

Nettles: created the religion that forged the most dangerous tribe in the Vale of Arryn. Claimed a wild dragon and committed alleged treason and escaped.

I'm not saying Daemon isn't important. I'm not saying he doesn't play a part. I'm saying that when we have these conversations about him and these women and the progression of his relationships with them, I hope we can reach a place where the idea that he leaves them isn't a jab or joke against one woman for the sake of the one he chooses. It's getting strange.

Women don't lose value because of a man. Ever.

This also applies to Baela and her adaptation in the show. She isn't uninteresting because she isn't a tomboy or like Daemon. They make her a political girl in the show and like Laena. That's not a loss. She's modelled after Rhaenys as well. She's just reflective of the women in her life. I'm sure she'll have a relationship to Daemon as well, but she's the Ward of Driftmark. That's quite interesting. We also have tomboys like Alysanne and Sabitha, so we aren't in a deficit by any means.

[radfemverity]

Tucker Carlson's interview with misogynist, human trafficker and rapist Andrew Tate has been endorsed by Elon Musk, the man who brought Tate among many other reactionary and far-right commentators back to Twitter when he purchased the platform.

There is nothing spontaneous about Musk doing this, and if you're surprised then you're a fool. This has never been about upholding free speech - hence why you've never seen any of these men promote interesting left-wing thinkers.

The ‘SJW’/‘woke’/progressive Left, as unbearably annoying as so many of them are, just keep getting proven right.

They said Nick Fuentes and Kanye were Holocaust-denying anti-semites.

They said Jordan Peterson supported rapists, and didn't believe women should have legal equality.

They said Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh would use the gender critical movement to blame gay people and women for any and all degeneracies.

They said Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk's recent ‘free speech’ moves were about repositioning themselves so that they could more effectively elevate the voices of overt extremists.

Again and again, their accusations are ageing like fine wine. The reactionary right’s mask is well and fully off.

Andrew Tate, Elon Musk, Tucker Carlson, Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh, Joe Rogan, Konstantin Kissin, Paul Joseph Watson, Ian Miles Cheong, Andy Ngo, Michael Malice, Elijah Schaffer, Zuby, Milo Yionnopoulous, Tommy Robinson, Nick Fuentes, Kanye West, Donald Trump… obviously some of these men could dislike each other, I can't imagine Shapiro and Fuentes at the same house party.

But their ideal societies don't look too different. None of these mens’ do. Because any racial, religious or ethnic prejudices they have against each other will come second to their common-ground.

The organised reaction against this brand of progressivism that has rapidly come to monopolise every sector of public life in the last 10 years, is well and truly underway. Musk, Carlson and Tate have given us the sign. And while I pretty heavily dislike the current ‘woke’ progressive ideology (and have a lot of questions about its top-down cultural spread), I'm scared of these guys way more. And if you're anything but a straight man who doesn’t care about any demographic besides straight men, you should be too.

The reason I say ‘straight men’ and not ‘straight white men’ is because, come on, the reactionary right is more racially diverse than most left-wing groups at this point. 😂😂 White nationalists the world over have bent the knee to a mixed-race man who admitted moving to an Eastern European country because of their more lax laws on sexual assault, and in turn, the ease he would have in exploiting the local women in the country’s already active sex-trafficking trade.

White nationalists (whose role in the reactionary right cannot be discarded any more, after Trump and Kanye had a personal dinner with Nick Fuentes) feel more of an affiliation with a non-white, human trafficking violent rapist, despite evidence of his crimes having been public for a while now, than they do with his WHITE victims.

Jordan Peterson, whose daughter has revolved her entire public image around him, who works with and for him, and whose lingerie photographs were retweeted by him, made a dogwhistle in May about women having their right to vote retracted.

Examples of men devaluing the contributions and rights of the women in their families, communities and wider societies are withstanding the test of time, over and over again, because no matter where in the world they are, and no matter what tensions the different religions, cultures, ethnicities and races of men have with each other, there are traits that unite them all. Misogyny is the most obvious one.

The men of these diverse, far-reaching societies, in many ways feel far more of a kinship to each other, than they do to any woman, girl, gay person, disabled person, mother, child, or any other demographic.

The pendulum always swings back, and now that we know these men have got the owner of the world's biggest social media platform on their side, that is a major sign it could be coming soon. Be on guard and look after each other gyns ❤️