#destiny montague

[akaikali]

I haven't talked about her enough but Agnes my beloved <3

[magpod-confessions]

agnes montagues tale is fucked up beyond belief. she was born without a loving mother or any kind of real parental figure. her avatar side was nurtured but her human/person side was MAJORLY neglected. she was never given the space to be her own person. she could never have friends because she was physically dangerous to be around.

worst of all, she was raised like this for one sole purpose, one destiny - and she couldn't go through with it. like, all that effort and suffering for agnes to die a cold death by hanging. just because there was no point in waiting longer or attempting the ritual now. her life lead up to one point - the desolation ritual - and it didn't take place. they didn't even attempt it. agnes montague killed herself because she couldn't be of use.

.

[estcaligo]

Made this list while I was in the mood

Classical music pieces that I associate with twst characters

* these pieces are available to listen to on youtube. Perhaps I will make a video with them one day. But I doubt it. * I apologize for any mistakes, it was a lot of information to digest * updated because I forgot to add Presto for Malleus, sorry!

Malleus - Vivaldi - The Four Seasons - "Summer" - 1 Allegro Non Molto and 3 Presto (I mean of course these ones. Add evil overblot laugh here too.) ok also Schubert - Erlkönig (The Elf King), D. 328

Sebek - Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet, Suite No. 2, The Montagues and Capulets "Dance of the Knights" (it's just him. period.) or Rachmaninov - Musical Moment No.4 in E minor or Rachmaninov - Prelude in C Sharp Minor (Rachmaninov for Sebek in general lol)

Silver - Grieg - Peer Gynt, Suite no. 1 "Morning mood" or Debussy - Clair de lune (from "Suite bergamasque") (Yes, basic, but it fits so so much so)

Lilia - Chopin - Fantaisie impromptu in C-Sharp minor, Op. 66 (first notes - Lilia's evil grin, then whimsical nature and the whirl of memories of countries he has been to. When it goes hard, it's cooking, some violence, and then when it gets gentle, it's when he remembers Silver's childhood. Then he softens in general but also reminds us about his playful nature and strong character.)

Idia - Vivaldi - The Four Seasons - "Winter" - 1 Allegro Non Molto (resembles how Idia speaks when he's getting confident and how his character, in general, opens up. And kinda gives me his genius vibes)

Ortho - Graun - Gigue in B-Flat minor (sounds like super-fast calculation is going on. But also, some notes sound like random signals and/or signs of creativity/sudden thoughts in AI) also Chopin - Etude Op. 10 No. 5 (Black Keys)

*Erik Satie for Octa in general. Gives me mysterious underwater vibes*

Azul - Satie - Gnossienne No. 1 and Gymnopedie no.1 also kinda Chopin - Nocturne Op. 9 No. 1 (pondering, deep in thought, underwater, calculating, but also melancholic…)

Jade - Satie - Gnossienne No.3 (such big Jade vibes)

Floyd - Liszt - Mephisto Waltz No. 1 (hehe)

Leona - Haydn - Symphony No. 49 in F minor ' La Passione ' (it's long, but it's worth listening. I just imagine Leona's character and lore in general here)

Jack - Händel - Suite no. 11 in D minor. Sarabande (not really sure about this one. But it gives me 'strength and determination and values' vibes today)

Ruggie - Mozart - Symphony No. 40 in G minor, IV. Allegro assai (reminds me how he can adapt and be different if needed. Also, it sounds quite boisterous, like Ruggie is going fast, fast, fast and earning a lot, lot, lot!)

Kalim - Mozart - The Marriage of Figaro, K. 492: Overture (specifically wanting to throwa feast)

Jamil - Chopin - Waltz in E minor, Op. Posth. (he's so skillful and makes it look like he's not even trying, but he's super hardworking. Also, some parts sound like his occasional emotional outbursts) also - Chopin - Prelude in E Minor (I can't explain it, but it's just Jamil for me. I feel so sorry for him - he's such a cool and talented (and handsome) guy, and such destiny mgd. Or maybe I'm just in a melancholic mood today)

Vil - Vivaldi - The Four Seasons - “Spring” - 1 Allegro (won't be original meh. like there're so many classical pieces that fit Vil but I don't really wanna bother here so)

Rook - Mozart - Le Nozze di Figaro: "Non più andrai, farfallone amoroso" (instrumental) (ookay it was hard with Rook because I think a lot fits him but I'll stop with this one or I'll never finish this list)

Epel - Litvinovsky - Pelléas and Mélisande: III. Galliard. Navire dans la tempête (Galliard. Ship in a storm) (unrelated but my life is divided into before seeing Epel in Book 7 dreams and after)

Riddle - Beethoven - Symphony No. 5 in C Minor, Op. 67 I. Allegro con brio (duh. basic but c'mon. it suits him)

Ace - Litvinovsky - Suite for Strings "Le Grand Cahier": IV. Nos Etudes (yes that's how I feel Ace)

Deuce - Tchaikovsky - The Nutcracker Suite, Op. 71a: March of the Toy Soldiers (Deuce the honour student edition)

Cater - Beethoven : Sonatina in F Major plus "a glimpse of a depressed real Cater" one - Chopin - Mazurka in A minor, Op.17, No.4

Trey - Beethoven - Sonata No. 8 in C Minor Pathetique, Op. 13 (Adagio cantabile) (I tried to find someting "normal" meh so went with this today)

Special mentions

Rollo - Mozart - Requiem, 3 Dies Irae Bach - Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, BWV 565 Orff - Carmina Burana: Fortuna imperatrix mundi. O fortuna (super super obvious but c'mon it's basically canon)

Baul - Wagner - Ride of the Valkyries (ya Baul has big Wagner vibes for me)

Grim - Edvard Grieg – In the Hall of the Mountain King (the escalation lol)

[gayelderstourney]

OLD WOMAN YURI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Gertrude Robinson/Agnes Montague:

They are canonically soulmates thanks to a ritual Gertrude preformed to stop Agnes from causing the apocalypse. They both love arson (chaos granny’s for the win) . There’s this scene where someone points out Gertrude’s arsonistic tendencies and she unprompted just goes “remind me to tell you about Agnes sometime” in the most fondest tone EVER. And Agnes calls Gertrude her anchor. They’re very important to me

According to canon, they only physically met once. The canon is dumb and wrong They're bound together by a literal string of fate. One that prevents Agnes from fullfilling her destiny as the literal antichrist. She's probably grateful for it, she never asked to be born as the chosen one of the Cult of Lightless Flame. She can never have a normal life or touch another person without hurting her. Gertrude is a mortal human being and stubbornly remains so, even though she's so deeply tangled in the affairs of all the different eldritch fear entities. Yet she was able to save Agnes from her destiny by binding their fates together. I think they're both deeply lonely people, and there's so many narrative parallels between them. They orbit each other like twin stars. You can't tell me there's not something poetically homoerotic about them. This is yuri

Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay:

They are WIVES! They are part of a criminal family and they mean so much to eachother

They're like the Thelma and Louise of space crime. There's amnesia, there's prison, there's slavery, there's scifi decay of their bodies. But they find each other again. And they love each other.

i support women's right but most importantly i support women's wrongs. they met when they were young and did grand heists together as lovers, as a master thief and a master assassin. then something went wrong during a job and they both thought the other was dead. oops. but during the podcast's storyline they meet again, have a bit of a moment, save each other's lives, fix their relationship and fall in love again <3 no technically canon age but they are presumed to be in their 50s at least. also they're married and retired now

They have the most tragic story.. They’ve been thief partners for five years before a confrontation with the authorities, during which Vespa falls off a skyscraper and is presumed dead (by everyone except Buddy). Buddy was arrested and spent eight years in prison, and after being released she went to their agreed meeting place and waited for Vespa for years, almost dying from radiation poisoning (!). Vespa actually survived and was captured into slavery, during which she also suffered from radiation sickness. Eventually they are reunited, having not seen each other for fifteen years, and renew their relationship. Now they are married and retired together :)

[vulto-cor-de-rosa]

Agnes Montague is such a tragic character if you stop to think about her for more than 5 seconds.

She grow up in a cult, with no parents, and was raised by people who really didn't know what they where doing. She wasn't allowed near other children or left alone for any length of time, completely isolating her from anyone with her age until she went to Hill Top Road, which, not a great place to grow up either. She wasn't raised as a child but as a fucked up chosen one. Even the relationships that she had with other people where tainted with her status as the Messiah, I mean look at this quote from MAG 139:

["Jude had only just joined at the time, and was – besotted with Agnes, though I couldn’t tell you if she loved her as a god, or as a woman"]

She couldn't have any normal relationship with anyone around her because everyone worshiped her.

We don't know much about Agnes as an individual. Most we know about her is second hand knowledge or from people from her cult or from the people that ended up crossing paths with her, and none of it is about who she was as a person, only about what they thought of her. We never got to know Agnes, we never got her statement or anything really. The closest thing we ever got to know what was going on inside her head is from this part from MAG 67, the statement of Jack Barnabas regarding a short-lived courtship with Agnes Montague in the Autumn of 2006:

["We sat on a bench as the sun went down, watching the sky redden, and Agnes asked me a question. It was the first time she’d said anything more than a few words since we left my flat. She asked me if I had a destiny.

I don’t need to tell you the question caught me off guard. I don’t know if I’ve given the impression clearly enough yet, being a single guy in my early thirties still working the till at a Sheffield cafe, but I don’t really see myself as having much of a destiny. Hell, I’m not even sure I believe in destiny. I certainly don’t believe in God, and I feel that’s kind of linked.

So I told her this. She looked at me, with the same sadness I’d seen on her face before. “That must be nice,” she said and went back to staring into the sunset."]

This is the only time we get to see what's going on inside Agnes head and it's so important, because it's not a stretch to come to the conclusion that she didn't want this. She never asked to be born into a cult, she never asked to have a destiny and she never asked to be the chosen one! She was raised into the believe that she had a destiny to follow, that she was the Messiah that was going to bring The Desolation into the world, but she didn't want that. I can't say that she never did, because we don't know that. Maybe she did. Maybe, after she met Jack, she changed her mind. Maybe she realized what actual real love felt like, what a normal life felt like, and she wanted more. But these are all maybes because we will never know, and that is the true tragedy! We will never know what Agnes thought about all of this. As Arthur Nolan in MAG 145 puts it:

["Never really knew what she (Agnes) felt ‘bout any of it, not really. Not in her own words. Guess that’s the thing about being the… chosen one, [...] you’re always just the point of someone else’s story, everyone clamoring to say what you were, what you meant, and your thoughts on it all don’t mean nothing."]

Agnes "Messiah" Montague is on the other side of the same coin that Jonathan "The Archivist" Sims is.

[lynnbeth5172]

She asked me if I thought I had a destiny. [No, I told her.] She looked at me with the same sadness I had seen on her face before. “That must be nice,” she said, and went back to staring at the sunset.

Agnes Montague from TMA

[sasha-n-james]

thinking about agnes montague

I can't stop thinking about how tragic her life was.

she was born in the ashes of her mother. she had no parents.

the first thing the cult did was make her a god to their religion. she was separated from everyone. she had violent outbursts and no one to talk to. a god never complains to its subjects.

then she was sent away to hilltop road, where she was still seen as different or "scary," and all the kids she knew there were being killed.

when she met Jack, she told him that it must be nice to not have a destiny. because her story was laid out in front of her from the moment she was born.

she kissed Jack, who was probably the first ever person to treat her like a human, and hurt him in the process.

the last thing we hear about her life is that she had killed herself in her flat.

and it makes me so sad to think that she didn't know how to be a person. she never had any friends other than the people worshipping her. jude perry loved her as a woman and a god, not just a woman. the only person to treat her normally was horribly wounded by her affection.

she should have just been a girl.

"I could have been anything, anything else / before you made the choice for me." - the moon will sing, tcw

[ninja-muse]

I need to start walking past used bookstores instead of into them…

Anyway, June was an all right reading month. I read some really good books, and some kind of poor ones, which is fairly normal, but I also didn't read as much as usual. This is a combination of having a few slow reads (Steampunk, Navola) and writing up a storm, neither of which is a bad thing. I am so glad to have written as much as I have this month. The end of the latest WIP is in sight!

Navola, by the way, is really good and if I'd been organized enough to take a photo of the ARC before I unhauled it, it would have gotten a dedicated review here. Think Renaissance Italy, low magic, ruthless politics, a boy coming of age, an unwanted destiny he has no choice but to accept, the trapped soul of a dragon… It's complex and twisted and detailed and layered, the sort of book you have to pay attention to and which will surprise you anyway. Highly recommended if you like George R.R. Martin or Robin Hobb or grimdark that's less about blood and battles and more about everyone being flawed and kind of awful.

This was also a month of ebooks for me, accidentally. I had a few library holds come in (and delayed one until next month because time), and I received not one but two e-ARCs, the second of which I'm working on right now. I also had one of those moments mid-month where I had no idea what to read so went for something radically different—a thriller about a forensic artist, mostly because it had been on my TBR for a bit and was available on Libby the day I needed a book.

And I reread Drums Along the Congo! Which I last read over 25 years ago so it was basically a new book to me. There's a lot of stuff I either missed or forgot the first time, but I was a kid who was reading it for the living dinosaurs rather than an adult reading for the journey and historical moment. I can't imagine the details about Congo in the 1980s would've made much of an impression. If you're into travel writing, it's one I'd recommend.

The third book off my TBR, A Bouquet From France, is that pretty marbled cover. (I nabbed it off my dad's unhaul pile mostly for that.) More interesting than the poems are some of the 1920s-era translation choices and the fact that the book has actual handcut deckle edges, like you can see where the knife went in off-center to cut the signatures open. Also Victor Hugo is introduced as one of France's best poets, with no mention that he might have also written some major novels.

In terms of my book haul for the month: one out-of-print comic book my work got on sale; one memoir a coworker was unhauling; two travel books that the "I've adulted so now I get a treat" used bookstore had in stock. One is the sequel/follow-up to one I hauled last month, so it's nice to have both. The other is excerpted letters by an English diplomat's wife from Constantinople in the early 1700s.* I successfully delayed a trip to the other tempting used bookstore until next month, so stayed tuned for that.

*Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. Awesome woman. Look her up.

And that's about it for this time around. I didn't do exciting cultural events or anything, just read and wrote a lot. How was your June?

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying - Django Wexler

Dani’s stuck in a time loop in a fantasy world. She’s supposed to be the Chosen One but that clearly not working. Time to switch sides for funsies…

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (bi woman), protagonist of colour

borrowed from work

Navola - Paolo Bacigalupi

Davico has always been aware of Navola’s politics and his banking family’s role in them, but also knows he’s unsuited to inherit that power. Unfortunately, in a city that breathes intrigue bowing out isn’t exactly an option. Out in July.

8.5/10

warning: violence, graphic injury, pseudo-incest

reading copy

A Bouquet From France - Wilfred Thorley, translator

A collection of French poetry from the 1100s to the 1920s.

7/10

off my TBR shelves

Steampunk - Ann and Jeff Vandermeer, editors

A collection of steampunk stories, old and new.

7/10

warning: misogyny, racism, eugenicists

off my TBR shelves

Running Close to the Wind - Alexandra Rowland

Avra, rubbish spy, finds himself on his ex’s pirate ship in possession of a deadly trade secret. Unfortunately, selling it to the highest bidder means working with a very sexy monk, and all manner of shenanigans.

7.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (multisexual), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (ungendered, achillean), major character with prosthetic eye, largely brown-skinned cast, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: frequent discussions of sex, cursing, animal death

library ebook

Every Time We Say Goodbye - Natalie Jenner

Vivien moves to Rome in the 1950s to work as a script doctor and possibly learn the true fate of her soldier fiancé.

6.5/10

Black American secondary characters, 🇨🇦

library ebook

The Face of Deception - Iris Johansen

Eve Duncan, world-class forensic artist, is drawn into a dangerous web when she takes a commission from a tech billionaire.

6.5/10

warning: animal death, murder

library ebook

The Black Bird of Chernobyl - Ann McMan

Lilah’s happily misanthropic life preparing bodies at her funeral home is upset when her father hires perky Sparkle for community outreach. Then Lilah goes viral… Out in July.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (lesbian), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, sapphic), Black secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: death, grief

digital reading copy/won

Reread:

Drums Along the Congo - Rory Nugent

A naturalist travels deep into the African jungle in search of a legendary living dinosaur—or tries to. A lovely portrait of a time and place.

7.5/10

predominantly (Black) African cast

warning: animal death, brief mentions of Congo’s colonial brutalities

off my TBR shelves

Currently reading

The Dishonest Miss Take - Faye Murphy

Desperate to clear her name after a murder she didn't commit, a superpowered former villain stumbles onto a mystery—and a curious assassin. Out in September.

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic)

digital reading copy/won

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts. The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 8 + 1 Yearly total: 59 Queer books: 3 Authors of colour: 0 Books by women: 3 Authors outside the binary: 1 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 3 Books hauled: 4 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 2 DNFs: 0

January February March April May

[mylostlenora]

more queer (mostly sapphic) books on my tbr pt. 2!🤍🤍

1. Solita, Vivien Rainn

“Sadie is her name, and she is passing through the motions of a life soaked through with the stench of death. Grief-ridden nightmares plague her every sleepless night, only to continue into the day when she awakens to the burden of running her family’s centuries-old estate:

The Hacienda Espinosa, a yawning, black-wooded beast of a mansion nestled in the jungles of the Philippines' Palawan Island, a house that offers Sadie nothing but a perpetual reminder of what once was, what can never be again. She is alone, save for the sound of her own lonely, broken heartbeat—that is until the day she hears another. And it’s coming from beneath the floorboards.

Unearthing what was left to rot beneath the house, Sadie realizes her fatal mistake; the dark secret was never buried to be forgotten. It was buried to be sealed away.

It’s no mortal, no man, but the Hacienda’s first owner—a demon.

And he’s nothing like she expects.

It’s only through facing the past and her buried fears can Sadie find salvation as she upturns the Hacienda’s twisted roots, roots born from the faith and fire of the conquistas, the Spaniards who came from distant shores, bringing with them not only their God, but also their demons.”

2. In the Roses of Pieria, Anna Burke

“When Clara Eden is offered a job as an archivist working for eccentric estate owner Agatha Montague, she thinks her prayers have been answered. Soon, she finds herself sucked into the world of her research, captivated by a romantic correspondence thousands of years old. But as her feelings for her employer’s assistant, Fiadh, deepen, so too does her suspicion that something about Agatha Montague isn’t quite right. Unfortunately for Clara, by the time her suspicions are confirmed, it is far too late to run.”

3. The Deep, Rivers Solomon

“Yetu holds the memories for her people—water-dwelling descendants of pregnant African slave women thrown overboard by slave owners—who live idyllic lives in the deep. Their past, too traumatic to be remembered regularly is forgotten by everyone, save one—the historian. This demanding role has been bestowed on Yetu.

Yetu remembers for everyone, and the memories, painful and wonderful, traumatic and terrible and miraculous, are destroying her. And so, she flees to the surface escaping the memories, the expectations, and the responsibilities—and discovers a world her people left behind long ago.

Yetu will learn more than she ever expected about her own past—and about the future of her people. If they are all to survive, they’ll need to reclaim the memories, reclaim their identity—and own who they really are.”

4. Our Share of The Night, Mariana Enriquez

“A young father and son set out on a road trip, devastated by the death of the wife and mother they both loved. United in grief, the pair travel to her ancestral home, where they must confront the terrifying legacy she has bequeathed: a family called the Order that commits unspeakable acts in search of immortality.

For Gaspar, the son, this maniacal cult is his destiny. As the Order tries to pull him into their evil, he and his father take flight, attempting to outrun a powerful clan that will do anything to ensure its own survival. But how far will Gaspar’s father go to protect his child? And can anyone escape their fate?

Moving back and forth in time, from London in the swinging 1960s to the brutal years of Argentina’s military dictatorship and its turbulent aftermath, Our Share of Night is a novel like no other: a family story, a ghost story, a story of the occult and the supernatural, a book about the complexities of love and longing with queer subplots and themes. This is the masterwork of one of Latin America’s most original novelists, “a mesmerizing writer,” says Dave Eggers, “who demands to be read.”

5. The Gilda Stories, Jewelle Gomez

“This remarkable novel begins in 1850s Louisiana, where Gilda escapes slavery and learns about freedom while working in a brothel. After being initiated into eternal life as one who "shares the blood" by two women there, Gilda spends the next two hundred years searching for a place to call home. An instant lesbian classic when it was first published in 1991, The Gilda Stories has endured as an auspiciously prescient book in its explorations of blackness, radical ecology, re-definitions of family, and yes, the erotic potential of the vampire story.”

6. To Be Devoured, Sara Tantlinger

“What does carrion taste like? Andi has to know. The vultures circling outside her home taunt and invite her to come understand the secrets hiding in their banquet of decay. Fascination morphs into an obsessive need to know what the vultures know. Andi turns to Dr. Fawning, but even the therapist cannot help her comprehend the secrets she's buried beneath anger-induced blackouts.Her girlfriend, Luna, tries to help Andi battle her inner darkness and infatuation with the vultures. However, the desire to taste dead flesh, to stitch together wings of her own and become one with the flock sends Andi down a twisted, unforgivable path. Once she understands the secrets the vultures conceal, she must decide between abandoning the birds of prey or risk turning her loved ones into nothing more than meals to be devoured." Sara Tantlinger's To Be Devoured capitalizes on our macabre preoccupation with the uglier side of nature, with love that topples into obsession, and with madness that is strangely beautiful in its barbarity.”

[tearlunars]

10 characters/10 fandoms/10 tags

Tagged by @icehearts thank you so much!!!!

Tagging (if you wanna! feel free to ignore!) @etheirys , @ahollowgrave , @riftdancing , @this-is-ris , @tsunael , @sealrock , @shroudkeeper , @fheythfully , @khaiens , @abalathia

2B from Nier Automata

she's my girl!!!! she's the reason why I got into drakenier in the first place and she made me understand a lot of things about myself! I also wrote her for years and she's still my fave character to write to and also the one where i think my writing improved the most (though i feel like i've lost most of it)

2. Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle

The moment i watched this movie i know it was going to be my little happy place! I also read the book and despite the differences between both sophies I love both of them dearly! Also we have the same name so that made really happy

3. Yuna from FFX

my bisexual awakening, i didn't know if I wanted to be Yuna or be with her, very jealous of Tidus. I loved her from the moment she was on my screen!

4. Nina Zenik from the Grishaverse

Nina is the reason why i'm so comfortable with the way I look and I don't care about my weight as much as I used to, she was so fierce and the way she's written is so beautiful that it made me fall a bit in love with myself as well! Also bisexual queen!

5. Agnes Montague from TMA

Agnes is one of those characters that doesn't have a lot of info but that's what makes her so good! Also she basically has her destiny settled and she's trying to fight against it which is one of my fav tropes so. even if you've never listened to the magnus archives I think you should search her! (also please listen to the magnus archives if you like horror its sO GOOD)

6. Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugi

first anime crush when i was like 12 do not look at him I still love him to this day and I melt every time i see him on my screen... tsundere with a heart of gold my beloved

7. Okita Souji from Hakuoki

the sucessor to tasuki, i've rewatched hakuoki so many times despite okita's heartbreaking ending just bc despite him struggling through life I love his relationship and the way he shows he cares about people despite never saying so

8. Corazon from One Piece

Corazon is my beloved I love his relationship with Law so much and the way he was trying to save his son!!!!! he has my corazon no doubt about it

9.Thorfinn from Vinland Saga

Vinland Saga is one of those anime I recommend to everyone if you're okay with a little gore/violence. Thorfinn's journey should be witnessed by everyone the way he goes from a vengeful path to a peaceful one is so well written and so beautiful to see!

10. Frieren from Sousou no Frieren

Frieren is the new addition to my fave characters, so glad this anime started airing bc it's such a breath of fresh air to the fantasy genre and I adore watching her journey and seeing her in a world that moves without her.

[fiefgoldenlake]

Recs for Disability Pride month (and some bonus belated recs for Pride!)

All titles link to Storygraph, which can give you a further synopsis, as well as any warnings.

Godkiller (Godkiller #1) by Hannah Kaner

Meet Kissen - the eponymous godkiller. In a world which has forsaken gods, Kissen deals with those who still prey on the public. She finds herself drawn into a quest with a young girl who is bound to a god. Along the way, they start to uncover what truly happened in their country's war against the gods. Bisexual rep, queer-normal world, main character has a prosthesis.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow #1) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Zetian volunteers herself to be a concubine pilot, to avenge the death of her sister. Giant robots, known as Chrysalises, are piloted by men, with the assistance of a female (concubine) pilot. Zetian's actions lead her to be punished by a match-up with Li Shimin, who has killed every concubine pilot who has ever flown with him. But everyone has underestimated Zetian. Poly, bisexual rep, the correct resolution to a love triangle. The main character suffers from chronic pain, mobility issues, and uses a wheelchair on occasion. 

The Final Strife (The Ending Fire Trilogy #1) by Saara El-Arifi

This is a class-driven society, and clear-blooded Hassa belongs to the ghost class, who've had their tongues cut out and hands severed by the ruling Ember class. The book follows Sylah, one of the Stolen Ember children, forged into a weapon and using drugs to cope with her past, and the beautiful and privileged Anoor. In the background, there's Hassa, keeping an eye on everything. The Ghostings communicate through sign language, and although Sylah is as fluent as possible without being a native, she can't speak it - it is a language exclusive to them. Sylah also suffers from drug withdrawal symptoms in the first book. Trans rep, wlw, mutism. 

Black Sun (Between Earth and Sky #1) by Rebecca Roanhorse

Xiala is a disgraced Teek, charged with bringing a 'harmless' passenger to Tova. Serapio has a destiny, one which has caused him to be blinded, and he's determined to fulfill it. Blind main character (but has the capacity to be magically enhanced), queer-normal world. 

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue (Montague Siblings #1) by Mackenzi Lee (YA)

Monty is already well-versed in vice before embarking on his Grand Tour with his best friend, Percy. It isn't a problem that he has a big crush on Percy - really. But it is Percy's last chance for freedom, since he suffers from epileptic seizures, and his uncle has judged it best that he be put in a sanitorium at the end of the trip. Bisexual rep, mlm, epilepsy, period-typical homophobia, period-typical discrimination. 

Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1) by Leigh Bardugo

If you haven't already read it and you want to know more about a world like the Court of the Rogue, definitely check this one out! The Crows are a fantastic group, and you can't help rooting for them. Leader Kaz uses a cane and suffers from PTSD - Bardugo says she was looking to create a character who was "disabled and ferocious". Queer found family, mlm amongst the main characters, limp/use of cane, PTSD. 

Bonus Belated Pride Recs The Jasmine Throne (The Burning Kingdoms #1) by Tasha Suri

There's a rot spreading through the nation, which sees dying plants sprout inside people’s bodies, killing them. The Emperor is seeking to crush a rebellion, and will not tolerate any dissent. Priya does what she can to help the poorest citizens, but it's not without a cost, and she needs to keep her head down. Malini, the vengeful princess imprisoned by her own brother, has other ideas, however. Wlw. 

The Priory of the Orange Tree (The Roots of Chaos #1) by Samantha Shannon

A quest fantasy with a queendom on one side, where magic is prohibited and the throne of Inys has passed, generation after generation, from mother to identical daughter. On the other side, there be dragons. Assassination attempts, a beautiful wlw romance, another main character who reads as ace, and a gripping plot, this book is worth every one of its (almost) 850 pages. Part of a series but each book stands alone.

Little Thieves (Little Thieves #1) by Margaret Owen (YA)

Vanja is one of my favourite characters that I've encountered in years (and as a bonus, the author is a confirmed TP fan!). This is an irreverent retelling of the Goose Girl from the maid's perspective, and the concept behind the title is, "The little thief steals gold, but the great one steals kingdoms; and only one goes to the gallows." Vanja is a little thief, accustomed to fending for herself, but she comes up against a curse, an impending marriage, and a personified pocket ledger. Demi rep, queer found family. 

Finally, I read Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelly, which is a story about two guys who meet hiking the PCT. One of them brought his comfort read - Alanna: the First Adventure

[lizard-queen-izzy]

It's after midnight, you know what that means? Sad TMA Thoughts With Izzy! Today's unlucky subject is actually not one of our usual subjects. Tonight's subject is Agnes Montague!

Agnes was born to bring on the apocalypse. Born to be nothing more than a harbinger of doom and destruction. Literally the human embodiment of The Desolation. That is so much pressure to have on you from the jump. She was never able to be a normal kid, never able to know her mother. She was raised in a cult, where she was the messiah. The fire was all she knew and all she was, and there was no room for anything else. She was to bring about the end of days.

And then she met a boy in a coffee shop, and everything froze. This was someone who had nothing to do with The Cult of the Lightless Flame. Someone who knew nothing about her, her abilities, her 'destiny'. He just wanted to get to know Agnes, the girl under all of that. He took her on dates, he kept agreeing to go on more, and while they were unconventional and probably not what he initially expected or had in mind, he never turned her away.

He never saw her as something to fear. A literal personification of a fear, finding someone who didn't fear her? How could she not fall for him? Do I think she was in love? Maybe, maybe not. But I do think it showed her love was possible. Even for someone like her. And that hope is what led to her choice to die.

Her own cult didn't know her. They held her at a distance because she was The Chosen One. Even those charged with her care, those closest to her, only knew the idealized version of her they crafted in their minds.

"I saw the sun. So much..power and fire and rage inside of her. Enough to burn the world and leave it nothing but dessert."

"But to look at her. It was too much for most." Arthur Nolan describes her as something powerful but too much to look at or get close to. Even when Gertrude asks: "What was Agnes like?" All he can respond with is: "I..I don't know. I guess that's the thing about being the 'Chosen One'. At the end of it. It was just the.. point. of someone else's story." A man who knew her her entire life, and he never knew her.

"But if she ceased, not in culmination of fire, but a cold and quiet death. Perhaps her spark would return to The Lightless Flame, and she could try again. So we hanged her, as she requested. All because of that most insidious of emotions. Hope." Agnes chose to be hanged rather than attempt a ritual and fail. Rather than find out if she could or couldn't live up to the one thing she was born for. She chose to die on her terms how she wanted. Jack Barnabas showed her there was more to life than what she had, and the Cult showed her she would never have that. So she made her choice.

It feels intentional we never get Agnes's point of view. We never get a long lost statement, or a Gertrude tape with her. We only ever see her as others do, incomplete. And yet her tragedy is still so apparent.

"..that's the thing about being the 'Chosen One'. At the end of it. It was just the.. point. of someone else's story." In never getting Agnes's point of view, she remains just a point in other people's stories. In life and in death, she was a conduit. Other people used her for their own gain, with little care for her herself. Except Jack Barnabas. He wanted her, not what she could do for him, just her. And in that want, he gave her hope. And the will to go.

[crazyw3irdo]

as someone whos got a romeo and juliet adaptation/sequel on the backburner, i have a question for you: What is your favorite part of this play? It can be themes, a scene, or a character or whatever else! Personally my favorite thing in it, at the risk of sounding cliche, are the themes of destiny and doom. I also like benvolio (totally didnt get him in ur quiz lol)

oooh!! well i mean the obvious answer for me is equally obvious i think lol

i fuckin love mercutio. so much so that even if im watching a version of r&j i don’t care for i’ll stick around at least until he dies lol

he really just cements the tragedy of it all to me. if the story were a romance he’d just be the silly best friend comic relief character, and, aside from the opening narration and a couple fights, r&j really can seem like a romance… up until mercutio dies. his death is a signifier of the tonal shift. the happy-go-lucky guy who brings romeo to a party and cracks jokes just died. you want comic relief? he’s dead.

and of course there’s the fact that he shouldn’t even be involved. he’s not a capulet or a montague. he’s related to the prince. not a part of the families. he’s a casualty. he was a friend to romeo and benvolio- two montagues- and he was invited to the capulet party! he’s how they got in! he had no enemies- he shouldn’t’ve died! hell, had romeo not come between him and tybalt, he might have lived. then romeo wouldn’t’ve killed tybalt, he wouldn’t’ve been banished, juliet wouldn’t’ve had to fake her death leading to well… everyone knows that part.

he only got into the fight to defend his friend’s honor. (well, to be fair depending on how you read the dialogue before the fight, mercutio might be pretty ready to jump into a fight for any reason lol) but still, he got into that fight because tybalt wanted to fight romeo, and he only died because romeo intervened.

what really gets me too is… no one seems to mourn him. sure, yes, romeo kills tybalt in revenge, but then immediately tybalt’s death takes priority. everyone’s freaking out about how tybalt died- tybalt is mourned. i don’t recall if mercutio is ever mentioned again. (edit: mercutio is mentioned when paris dies, romeo calls him mercutio’s kinsman, but that’s. still not much)

there’s also his iconic quote as he’s dying- a plague on both your houses. as he dies he goes out screaming about how both families are at fault, how it’s their own stubbornness that is causing all this. and if anyone listened to him, maybe things would’ve been different. but still, romeo and juliet (…and paris i guess?) have to die before anyone actually listens.

also, on a more lighthearted note, he is fucking hilarious. his whole queen mab monologue to make fun of romeo is a personal highlight, as well as his line like… quoting from memory here, “here comes romeo, without his ‘ro’ like a dried fish.” okay okay so this is when they still think romeo is into rosaline, hence the “ro” but also “roe” like fish eggs, but also meo is a word for “sigh” so he’s sad because he doesn’t have his crush with him all told with a fish pun. love this guy i aspire to be on his level

ooh, also, when a staged production (or other kind? it’s most common staged) uses red for the capulets and blue for the montagues, i love when mercutio wears purple. goes back to my earlier point about him not being either but still being friendly with both.

also speaking about very specific productions of romeo and juliet some mercutio highlights:

-in rómeó és júlia (personal fav version of mercutio) when mercutio gets stabbed, he bleeds, gets his hand covered in blood, and slaps romeo before he dies, so romeo goes through the rest of that scene wearing his friends blood and it really adds to it

-also in that version they give mercutio a rap verse that is in no other version and i think of it constantly

-he also keeps flirting with everyone and kisses both romeo and benvolio and tries to with tybalt

-i made a compilation of him in that version i never posted actually i should see if i can find it

-in the italian version of romeo et juliette mercutio kisses romeo as he dies and it’s really intense lmao

-okay actually just watch this video comparing different versions of le duel from romeo et juliette i’ll stop talking about those versions specifically lmao (and watch les rois du monde & la mort de mercutio on the same channel)

-in romeo + juliet he wears heelys and when he says “by my heel i care not” you can see them lmao

-in that version he also dresses in drag and i love it

-riff from west side story is not technically mercutio but he sings the jet song & cool and i love those songs so hell yeah

-okay i said i wouldn’t talk about versions of retj again but going back to my beloved hungarian version rómeó és júlia the guy who plays mercutio also voices the onceler in the hungarian version of the lorax and if i have to know that so do you

anyway i genuinely plan for my last words to be “ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man” so yeah love that guy and personally think this could have all been avoided had he started dating romeo and benvolio and hell why not have a toxic fling with tybalt what who said that

[gayelderstourney]

OLD WOMAN YURI BRACKET ROUND 2

Propaganda:

Grace Hanson/Frankie Bergstein:

Close friends for decades their husbands were partners at the same law firm and their families were very close. Then one day after their husbands retired they were told that their husbands were actually gay and had been secretly dating for decades. In the ensuing breakups grace and Frankie moved in together to support eachother as the only other person who could understand what they were going through. Very opposites attract they have very different outlooks and attitudes but they care for eachother a lot and fight for eachother in everything. They even go into business together

those old ladies FUCK

Dude ur gonna tell me they don't love eachother?? They're in love.

Gertrude Robinson/Agnes Montague:

They are canonically soulmates thanks to a ritual Gertrude preformed to stop Agnes from causing the apocalypse. They both love arson (chaos granny’s for the win) . There’s this scene where someone points out Gertrude’s arsonistic tendencies and she unprompted just goes “remind me to tell you about Agnes sometime” in the most fondest tone EVER. And Agnes calls Gertrude her anchor. They’re very important to me

According to canon, they only physically met once. The canon is dumb and wrong They're bound together by a literal string of fate. One that prevents Agnes from fullfilling her destiny as the literal antichrist. She's probably grateful for it, she never asked to be born as the chosen one of the Cult of Lightless Flame. She can never have a normal life or touch another person without hurting her. Gertrude is a mortal human being and stubbornly remains so, even though she's so deeply tangled in the affairs of all the different eldritch fear entities. Yet she was able to save Agnes from her destiny by binding their fates together. I think they're both deeply lonely people, and there's so many narrative parallels between them. They orbit each other like twin stars. You can't tell me there's not something poetically homoerotic about them. This is yuri

[andalitean]

Rachelcrantz and Tobiastern are dead: the compilation

in the words of @brechtian​, “what if we were two characters trapped in the narrative and spiraling towards an inevitably tragic ending. and we were in love”

aka every time these two took “all the world’s a stage” a little too seriously. inspired by this, where @lorenfangor​ quoted rachel in book 37:

[“So it’s a trap. An inevitability. You are who you are. Character is plot. Character is destiny.”]

#3 (Tobias)

["But part of me kept saying, ‘It's a lie. It's a lie. You are the hawk. The hawk is you. And Tobias is dead.’"]

#7 (Rachel)

["Jake’s voice in my head kept saying, <Rachel, morph out. Morph out. You’re out of control! You are OUT of control! Morph!>. / I was clawing wildly at the air, trying to kill the tiger that was suspended above me in the dropshaft. / Trying to kill Jake. / I felt as if I had snapped awake from a dream. / Slowly, as we rose toward the surface, I left the bear and returned to myself."]

["’I’m so sick of this,’ I said again, a little more softly. ‘What’s the point? What’s the point in anything? we know the future now. We know what happens if we decide to stay and fight.’ / I felt lost. The last ounce of energy just seeped away from me. It was too much. Too many things to deal with. And what was the point? What did it even matter what I did? / I flopped down on the grass and pine needle-covered ground, and rested my head in my hands. I was done. Done trying to make sense of a world where I could be jerked back and forth like a puppet."]

#17 (Rachel)

[“Everyone in a group has a role to play. At least that’s how it always works out. My role was to say, ‘Let’s do it. Let’s go. That’s what we came here for.’ / But I was tired. And I’d had a really, really bad few days digging down to this stupid cave. / So I said, <Let’s do it. That’s what we came here for.> / Sometimes it’s hard to get out of a role once you’ve started playing the part.”]

#22 (Rachel)

[“I tried to remember, but it wasn’t like I was thinking about myself. It was like I was remembering some girl I used to know. Like she was an acquaintance I’d forgotten about until someone reminded me. It was like, ‘Oh, yeah, Rachel. I remember her.’”]

[“Then there he was. Saddler. David. He swaggered in like he owned the world and everything in it. I so wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. But that wasn’t in the script. My role was to seem chastised, beaten down. Defeated and humiliated. That’s what we figured he’d want. That’s what would make him happy.”]

[“I nodded, meek and afraid. David searched my face through Saddler’s eyes. Was he suspicious? Had I overplayed my part? / Then he reached across and smeared the re-fried beans down the sleeve of my shirt. And laughed. / So I did something I don’t do much. I started to cry.”]

#23 (Tobias)

["I mean, what was I thinking? Rachel’s a human. A real human. I’m a hawk. You think Romeo and Juliet were doomed, just from being from families that didn’t like each other? Well, you can’t get any more doomed than caring for someone who isn’t even the same species."]

#27 (Rachel)

[“If Cassie had said it, Jake wouldn’t have told her she was overreacting. He would have agreed. He would have thought she was being sensibly cautious. / Wasn’t I allowed to be cautious? / No, of course not, I thought bitterly. I’m supposed to be a reckless fighting machine and fighting machines don’t feel caution or fear. And even if they do, they don’t advertise it. / ‘Well, excuse me, I guess I’ll just shut up and follow orders,’ I said.”]

#33 (Tobias)

[”Rachel stared at the wall. I looked at the floor. In an instant, the bulletin board display had thrown our friendship into the harsh light of reality. Rachel was a girl who could, on occasion, become a bird of prey. I was a hawk who could, on occasion, become human. / Several big steps past being Montagues and Capulets like Romeo and Juliet. Remaining hawk meant meals of still-living mice.”]

[”<Guys. Wait a minute,> I interrupted. / ‘What is it?’ Jake asked. / I swooped down from the rafter to the floor. Loose straw swirled in small eddies as I touched down. A ray of light from a crack in the barn wall bathed my feathers in yellow light. It was almost too much. Too theatrical. I half-expected angels to hover up out of the hayloft and break into song. / <It’s me,> I said. <I’m the one who has to go.>”]

[”<Let go,> I mumbled to myself. <Let go of yourself.> / ‘What was that you said?’ Taylor asked. / Irrelevant. She was nothing, I was the hawk. / Deeper into the hawk. Go away, weak human boy. / I seemed to stand outside my body. Hawk, human - everything. My mind began to race, the manic frenzy of madness. Up above it all. / A wave of self-pity, followed by a wave of hatred, followed by the unbearable weight of despair. The pain sped everything up. Faster and faster. Panic, fear, sadness. / But somehow... / Using the half of me that was equipped to process pain, I was enduring it. Close down your human mind! It’s your only hope, I told myself. Focus on the hawk.”]

[“Focus on the part of you where the pain is less subversive. Less destructive. / Sink into your hawk self, Tobias. Deep into your raptor self. / But the images! / Fragments of memory. Random memory. Flashing uncontrollably across my mind’s screen. / Insanity! Madness! / A hyper-speed slide show. / Fleeting, Irrepressible. Dominating my reality and impossible to control. Turn it off. Off!”]

37 (Rachel) (this one is included mainly because she references Hamlet which is really funny to me)

[”’Not likely. I’m the one who does hard and fast. And relentless.’ / ‘And reckless,’ Marco shot back. / ‘While you want to sit around and think every stupid little step to death,’ I spat. ‘You’ve got a Hamlet complex, Marco.’ / ‘Yeah, and there’s a method to my madness. Which is more than I can say about your finer moments.’”]

43 (Tobias)

[”’Hey. No matter what you think, Tobias, Taylor’s not your responsibility. Besides, how often is it possible to see the big picture, really?’ Rachel said. ‘Things happen fast. You just have to make the best decision you can and then go for it. You know what? I’d do the same thing again, if I had to.’ / ‘How can you say that?’ / ‘With me, it’s about instinct. I knew we had to dig that tunnel. Turns out I was right, but for the wrong reasons. If we hadn’t gotten involved with Taylor, Cassie wouldn’t have known about the plan, wouldn’t have talked to Tidwell, wouldn’t have worried about us. But she did. And it opened up a course of events that couldn’t have occurred otherwise. It ended up saving the Yeerk peace faction. It was a good investment.’”]

48 (Rachel)

[”I felt like I was watching everyone from behind a Plexiglass window. / I just wasn’t there. I couldn’t relate, not to the teachers, the boys, the girls. I couldn’t even pretend to relate.”]

53 (Jake!!!) (i think this quote is the most tragic...)

[”’We blew up one Yeerk pool,’ Rachel said cockily. ‘So we blow up another. Badda-boom. Nothing to it.’ / She knew better, of course. She was just playing her part.”]

54 (Rachel)

[”I could see the viewscreen. I could see my best friend Cassie. Jake. Marco, funny Marco. Ax. / Tobias. / He had morphed. He was his human self once more. He’d done that for me. And because he was crying, I understood. Humans cry, hawks don’t. / ‘I love you,’ I said to the screen. / And oh, god, how could so much regret and so much sweetness and so much sadness all be present in that single moment. I was already dead and missing my unlived life. I was already dead and Tobias was mourning. / I tried to smile. For him.”]

[”I wanted to much to live. I wanted so much to stay and not to leave. In a moment no answer would matter to me, but just the same, I wanted to know what I guess any dying person wants to know. / ‘Answer this, Ellimist: Did I... did I make a difference? My life, and my... my death... was I worth it? Did my life really matter?’ / ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘You were brave. You were strong. You were good. You mattered.’ / ‘Yeah. Okay, then. Okay, then.’ / I wondered if-”]