#destihellers don’t even have this much

[hologramcowboy]

I just saw a long J2 Tinhat rant come across my dash. Do you think Jensen could be with Danneel even though he clearly doesn’t much like her because he’s actually into men? Why or why not?

(I honestly don’t think so, but I’m curious about your answer).

I don't love talking about people sexuality in public anon, it's invasive. I think only Jensen knows and owns his sexuality, whatever it may be and it's none of our business to discuss that publicly. If you want to have a chat in private, feel free to dm me. Let's not feed into public rumors because touching upon something so private and intimate can have psychological repercussions. There's no harm in having an open discussion via dm but let's keep from publicly touching upon things that should be private and intimate. Whatever tinhats, destihellers, etc or jenneel stans believe, I hope they maintain healthy boundaries and consider Jensen's psychological wellbeing rather than touching upon delicate matters.

Sending you love and looking forward to the private conversation, should you choose to engage in it.💕

[demonic-ninja-cat]

To expand on what I said in the last post, where I mentioned how I hate the Supernatural Fandom with a passion, here are some of the main reasons why:

Their belief that you can't criticize any character in the show who is any sort of minority or who has any sort of trauma, and if you do then you're a prejudiced asshole who only hates them because they're a minority/have trauma and who hates minorities/people with trauma

All of the "If you hate Mary Winchester/Claire Novak/Charlie Bradbury/Any Other Female Hunter Character at all, then you just hate women/are sexist/hate strong female characters" posts

The abuse apologism(especially relating to Dean and his relationships with everyone, but especially especially Sam, Cas, and Jack)

The constant glorification, romanticization, justification, woobification, and excusing of Dean and everything that Dean says or does

The constant glorification, romanticization, justification, woobification, normalization, and excusing of Hunters as a whole and Hunting as a concept/institution

The constant glorification of Hunter Characters like Claire, Charlie, Jody, Mary, and Eileen, pretty much just for being reoccurring characters who are minorities, and acting like they're never done anything wrong ever, and saying that anyone who criticizes them for anything is just sexist/homophobic/ableist/misogynistic/racist/etc.

The demonization and dehumanization of supernaturals as a whole and the treatment of supernatural characters in fanfics, especially in regards to making them all be either Species-Traitor Hunters who mercilessly kill their own kind and are praised for it or Irredeemably Evil Villains who are nearly always killed off

The way all of the rps/fanfics/fanart/posts/etc. force SamnDean, Cas, Jack, and a bunch of characters who either barely know them or outright hate them into being their "Adorable Perfect Found Family Who All Live Together In The Bunker"

How they act like all of the unhealthy, toxic, and even outright abusive relationships in the show are "adorable" and "perfect" and "healthy" and whatever, just because the characters in the relationship in question are Main Characters/Popular Characters/Hunter Characters

The way that so many of the destiel shippers treat Cas like just an accessory for their ship and Dean's Walking Angelic S*x Toy/Love-Slave and get upset and act like he “betrays” Dean if he so much as cares about anyone besides Dean(and maybe Jack)

The way that the destihellers harass and bully people who don’t like Dean and/or who don’t ship Destiel, and call anyone who doesn’t ship their toxic ship “homophobic”, even when the person being accused of being homophobic ships other non-straight ships

All of the dad!Dean crap, and how they make Dean be Claire/Jack/whoever’s father, and how they make Claire, Jack, and other Kid/Young Adult Characters into Destiel Children

The way people get so up in arms and defensive if you criticize their favorite character for legit reasons(mostly Dean), and then will sometimes turn around and make up/exaggerate shit in order to to hate on/bash other people’s favorite characters(mostly Sam and/or Cas)

How some of the most popular ships in the fandom, the ones with the most posts and works about them, are among the most toxic, abusive, and disgusting ships in the fandom(eg. Destiel, Wincest, Samifer, etc.)

How the Wincestie and Bibro types like to bash my favorite characters(eg. Cas and Jack) and treat them like shit, and act like only SamnDean matter

How some SamnDean/Bibro/Wincest fans act like Sam and Dean are perfect, and are all annoyingly snooty with their superiority complexes about how “they understand the show and it’s all about brotherly love” and stuff like that, and bash and insult Cas in literally all of their posts and etc.  They will do things like, call Cas insulting and degrading names, and bash him for stuff that is either made up, exaggerated, or that is literally the same as or similar-to-but-not-as-bad-as things that SamnDean have done.

How they make long-ass metas and essays about destiel and homophobia in spn and shit, but refuse to acknowledge almost any of the racism, sexism, ableism, etc. in the show

How said metas and essays about "homophobia in spn" are literally almost entirely just about “Destiel not being canon” and “Charlie's death”, and occasionally “Cas' death”(but only in the Bury Your Gays and "Cas died and didn't get to be with his twu wuv after confessing his feelings!  Waaaahhh! ThEy SiLeNcEd Us!" way, of course, and no mention of how he died spewing bullshit about how "good" and "loving" his abuser was), and completely ignore any of the many other homophobic things in SPN that don't revolve around the Hunter Fan-Faves.

The rampant and disgusting hypocrisy, both with Hunters vs Supernaturals and with Dean vs Anyone Else.  

An example regarding Hunters, is how they will say that killing any human, even one who is an abuser or a murderer, is “bad” and “evil” and “villainous”, but killing any supernatural, even an innocent one, is “ok” and “good” and “heroic”.  

An example regarding Dean, is how they will say that anything bad Dean did while he had the MOC “wasn’t really Dean” and “you can’t judge him for that”, but then will go on to judge, condemn, and bash Sam and Cas for things they did while they were possessed(Both), soulless(Sam), or had hundreds of monster and leviathan souls inside them(Cas)! 

and likely more things that I'm forgetting

[touchstarvedsam]

Because of the hate Jared was getting for live tweeting his show and not ~*posting links*~ to crisis centers, someone who lives in Austin tweeted a thread explaining what was actually going on and how they were all handling the crisis, and what Jared was doing and how he was helping the community.

The fact that it even had to be said speaks volumes for how horrible the destihellers are as human beings because Jared needed ONE GODDAMNED HOUR of distraction from the literal DAYS of suffering, and that somehow makes him a bad person.

Then, naturally, I looked at the quote tweets and one heller put "Yeah okay 🤷‍♂️" like how much of a douchebag can you people be? I don't understand how these people were raised as such rude pieces of shit. Their parents should be ashamed. None of these people live in Texas. I don't live in Texas. But I have family that does. The fact that they're using Jared live tweeting as proof of him being horrible is just a new brand of pathetic.

How about if you have a problem with Jared, you just bite your goddamn tongue right out of your mouth and shut up forever. You'd be doing literally everyone a favor.

Asshole.

[laf-outloud]

My cousin who is a destiel shipper convinced me to watch the show by telling me about Dean and Cas’s epic love story. So I watched all 15 seasons and the only epic love story I saw was between Sam and Dean. When I told her she completely lost it and yelled, “You ship wincest?!” And I was so confused because I had no idea what that even was - so she showed me what she had read here on tumblr.

I’m baffled, I’m all for representation, but what is going on here? Why is my cousin and so many others convinced that destiel is a thing and that Castiel’s death is a LGBTQIA+ rights issue? And why do people ship Sam and Dean as more than brothers? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t know how to handle this situation with my cousin who is queer.

(I hope that it’s okay to ask this - I created an account just to research this and found your blog.)

Anon, it's always okay to ask! I'm glad you were able to see the show for what it is, the epic love story of Sam and Dean! One of the things to watch out for with hellers (i.e., Destiel shippers who insist their ship is canon) is the extremes they go to to prove their ship is canon and the insults they lay on those that don't. Normal Destiel shippers think it's fun to imagine Dean and Cas together, but know that it wasn't real in the show. Hellers believe that anyone who doesn't see Destiel as canon automatically ships the romantic (sexual) version of wincest, or an incestual relationship. They call it gross and illegal (not mentioning the fact that Cas is an Angel inhabiting someone else's body and whose body can't give consent... sorry, I digress).

As for wincest, yes, there are fans who ship the romantic version of Sam and Dean together, but the term can also apply to the extremely codependent, but platonic relationship of Sam and Dean. For some really good accounts of why people ship the romantic version, I'll refer you to this post: x I personally don't ship the romantic version, but I can understand those who do.

Now, the trickier question you ask is why people are convinced Destiel is a thing. I was not around at the time Destiel started, but I know some of my followers were so I'm going to leave this question for them to answer.

As for LGBTQ+ rights issue? Once Destiel became a thing, anyone or anything that didn't believe in it was automatically labeled by the hellers as homophobic, including Jensen. There have been a couple of conventions where he's stated that Destiel doesn't exist and also shut down someone who wanted to ask about it. The pushback from hellers was intense. In addition, because the hellers had, by the finale, determined that Destiel was real, the fact that Cas confessed his love, Dean didn't reciprocate and the final two episodes were about the brothers meant that in their mind, "the CW and producers of SPN are cowards! They spent all this time building up Destiel and never paid it off. They're homophobic! They were queerbaiting us the whole time!"

Their view also isn't helped by the fact the Misha Collins has actually queerbaited his fans on Twitter, in conventions and elsewhere teasing them that Cas was in love with Dean and that Dean "had love in his eyes" during the confession. He does this because he's persona-non-grata in the entertainment industry and needs his heller fans money, through his books, cameo appearances, conventions, etc. Once Destihellers are inside the "Destiel is canon" soundproof booth, they only read, hear, see, anything that proves their point, so they're constantly bombarded with opinions that agree with their own (much like extreme political views).

All that being said, the hardest question is how to handle the situation. I guess it depends on the nature of your relationship. Do you spend a lot of time together? Is this an experience you want to share, but can't due to your divergent opinions? Or do you see/talk to her only on occasion and can completely ignore the topic? If you're close, there's are a number of articles online to help people change their mind. I like this one about Belief Remodeling, x especially creating a win-win objective. What is the final result where both of you can accept a win-win? Is it necessary to change her mind, or is the win just agreeing to disagree and enjoying other aspects of the show you can find common ground on?

I hope this answer helps. There are many other blogs here that have additional information that I can help you find, if needed. Whatever you choose, I wish you all the very best and if you need to take a break and bask in the love of Sam and Dean, here you go!

[persephone-garnata]

I know this probably makes me a bad person but I honestly can’t stop cackling about how the SPN finale gave us wincest shippers EVERYTHING and the destihellers NOTHING. The show’s fifteen years of the epic love story of Sam and Dean and now they’re together forever. Meanwhile their angel buddy is stuck in super hell and I give exactly as many fucks about him as Dean does. The hellers spent over a decade whining that they wanted their stupid ship to go canon, and got all excited when Cas made his confession and then immediately got sucked into the Empty. and then they got to watch Dean die with “I love you so much baby brother” on his lips, drive around Heaven waiting for Sam to show up, then be happy ever after with his soulmate.

Maybe I shouldn’t feel this happy but honestly the hellers on this hellsite made me hate Destiel so. fucking. much. and after 15.18 I was kind of anxious what the show would do with Dean and Cas. Then we had two final joyous episodes, stuffed full of wonderful brother moments, and the angel was barely even mentioned.

Supernatural started as a show about two brothers and their incredibly close bond. After all this time, that’s still what it is. Sam, Dean, and Baby. They don’t need anything or anyone else, and I couldn’t be happier.

The hellers can have their fix-it fics, we’ve got the actual show.

[remythologise]

Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

[msgrumpygills]

Hi ! I follow your blog because I want to know about the fandom drama and reality, with a sense of veracity. I'm a spn fan but since nov 5 I'm a destiel fan above all. Maybe I'm a destiheller, I dont know. I follow very interesting destiel blogs and people that write very interesting meta. Others are, now, Dean crit, Sam,crit and so on. The discourse Is sometimes very scholarly. I love it. There's crit about the actors as well, but really no hate, no vitriol about jensen or jared or Misha. Just criticism, because this people Is not fanatic. Nobody is in an altar. Nobody Is perfect. So I found against my will the Misha/castiel haters very soon. It was shocking, because this people, first, attack the looks of a middle age man, with health problems, make jokes about family matters and about his career. And then they talk abou pedo and scams. Is disgusting. And now they attack Jensen, insult his wife, call him names, all for Jared. People rant about the crazy fans, and of course I can see the jared fans. But they talk too about crazy destihellers. And with all honesty, I dont know any destiel blog that post hate and vitriol like that. I just read an Anonymous here saying that destihellers are crazy as wincests. Can you name some destiel blogs with this behaviour? I dont know any, so Is hard to believe that we can compares with this people.

Thanks so much

I always try and remind people of this; there are some chill shippers. Even Destiel shippers, they do exist! I don’t want to condemn shipping all over, just the ones who take it too far, who bully and harass, who attack everyone and badger the writers to try and control a show. 

I don’t know of any specific blogs because I have a lot of Destiel/Heller terms blacklisted to be honest. And I don’t want to be accused of “sending hate” towards other bloggers. The crazy destihellers are all over they’re here, on Twitter, etc. 

There are definitely good and bad people in all sides of the fandom, that’s for sure! Sorry I couldn’t be more help with this one, I just don’t know enough bloggers or places. You may be able to find some screenshots from other anti blogs? 

[ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty]

So many spn fans make huge deals about "WINCEST FANS DNI" or talk about them like they're evil and horrible people, when in reality (or at least in my opinion,) some of the nicest spn fans (at least on tumblr) ARE the wincest fans! (and the gencest fans) :)

They are typically so much nicer than the destihellers, who only care about abusive relationships and their ship (that isn't even a ship)

The wincest fans or "wincest side of tumblr", is actually more fun to talk to/be around . They seem to be more kind overall, and I juat think that's neat :)

(There's no question in this ask, just my opinion that I wanted to share! It's totally fine if u disagree with this opinion, I just wanted to rant) :) <3

Hi bestie ily and my asks are always open for any rants! And yeah I'd have to agree. I honestly couldn't care less about ships and all that shit all I really want is for people to be kind to each other. It's not that hard to ignore a fictional ship if you don't like it lol like, the spn fandom is pretty big,,,imagine how awesome it would be if we were all just,,,nice to each other.

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - 15x17. On Chuck, Cas, and love. Chuck’s true weakness

As all my SPN metas, it’s Destiel positive and happy end positive, don’t like - don’t read.

15x17 gave us a lot about Chuck and Amara relationship. Now I should tell, that inside the story they are not mirrors for some other SPN characters. SPN characters are supposed to be mirrors for them.

Or that’s how it was planned by Chuck.

From the start Chuck wasn’t whole. That’s where his disappointment in angels and humans comes from. That’s why, though he needs fans, the same time he despises them and can’t see the truth, which is obvious for them (i. e. for Becky).  Chuck doesn’t kill his fans. He just sends them away, ‘cause they are "annoying” and have their own demands. He prefers to ignore that. Just like channel execs preferred to ignore us when it came to Cas and DeanCas. 

Chuck sends his angelic fans away the same he did with Becky in 15x04, with the same words actually. “I didn’t kill him (Becky’s husband). He’s just far away”. Chuck ruins their lives with ignoring them - but also he ruins lives of those who he is interested in. Lucifer was his most beloved son - and Chuck gave him the Mark of Cain, which corrupted him... though Chuck’s main purpose there was to seal Amara, of course. 

That’s how his disappointment began. He sealed the part of himself and became BROKEN. Broke himself, actually.  In 15x17 Chuck says he was obsessed by fractals, repetitions of one form on different levels, and that’s true: in Sam and Dean’s story he just tries to repeat his and Amara’s one - maybe, to understand something. To fix himself. Not to be haunted of his own failures. That’s his self-therapy - but it didn’t work even a little for ages... until he saw something true. Until the story of Team Free Will began and his puppets suddenly weren’t puppets anymore. 

Why? I think we all Destihellers had known, but in 15x17 we got a serious confirmation.  These Sam and Dean are so special because of this Cas, because of his total and absolute disobedience. According to Chuck, that’s the only real difference between their story and the others’ ones. 

The reason of that is obvious - love. Cas’s perfect angelic devotion, but not to God. Here I wrote about Adam and Seraphina and the sacred oath reason - in connection to Cas.  Chuck doesn’t understand Cas’s (and love - the synonyms here) importance for his story. For him Cas “is something that always goes wrong” (Dean’s words from 15x03, fascinating *sarcasm*). Here in the end there are some thoughts about Cas’s being the greatest trickster of the show.

There are lots of Sams, Deans, Cases. But there is one Amara. In 15x17 she said her return because of the Winchesters was a part of Chuck’s plan - except her feelings for Dean, as Chuck confirmed. I suppose we can believe him - he chose these Sam and Dean to return Amara, to deal with her. Thanks to them he finally found the will to face her - not to make it looks like one sibling’s death/sealing is the logical reason for another one to live long and happy life (like for Dean in 5x22, after Sam’s sacrifice). Chuck used the story to heal his trauma - but he ignored Lucifer’s trauma, his desperate want to be loved, and the Winchesters’ story continued. Now I think that it was a part of Chuck’s plan - he liked these boytoys so much. And with considering them boytoys, his trauma wasn’t healed.  ‘Cause it wasn’t Amara who caused it. It was always Chuck himself.  In 15x04 he said that he hates himself. I have no doubts about it, but all he’s doing was making it even worse. Hurting others means deepening your wounds. To find the way you should stop. Just stop. And enjoy the moment, maybe - like Amara in 15x17 advised. 

But Chuck didn’t listen to her. Enjoyment means love, and he can’t love. Only manipulate. 

Unlike Chuck, Amara found her harmony. I assume that’s because she found love in herself, not outside. The love outside can’t be appreciated if your heart is closed, like Chuck’s. Well, Amara’s heart is open, and that makes her vulnerable I guess.  In the beginning of 15x17 Amara was reading “Norwegian wood”. I’ve also read this book and think that the main message here is: the real is always better than some dreams about. Just like Amara said to Dean about Mary in 15x15... though Dean seemed not to understand her.  Betraying Amara for Dean means betraying himself and letting Chuck, the vengeful father, who is ready to sacrifice his children in a heartbeat, win. Betraying her means Dean becomes Chuck’s mirror. He gives up his family not for his own freedom, but for Chuck’s.  ALL THIS STORY WAS CREATED BECAUSE CHUCK WANTED TO HAVE HIS FREE WILL. And he can’t. 

I assume somewhere in 15x04 he thought Amara’s consumption was the only way to become whole, to find free will, to feel joy, not disappointment. To be happy. 

In 6x20 we saw Cas’s praying to Chuck while sitting on a bench, with some flowers near. We know that was the moment when Chuck could stop Cas, prevent all this Leviathan story... unless he WANTED it. In 15x04 he said that he loved monsters, Leviathans especially. And by that time he certainly wanted Cas dead (as well as the channel execs, I suppose). 

In 15x17 we see Amara praying to Chuck while sitting on a bench, with a flower in her hands. She wants a balance with him. He wants her dead - not literally though. 

Did Chuck know that in 15x17 Amara would trap him? I think yes. He wanted that specifically.

Did he know that Sam would be alive by the end of 15x17? I think no. He was disappointed again, he WASN’T HAPPY even after Amara’s disappearance.  

Why wasn’t he? The Empty gave us a clue while making a deal with Cas: to be happy you must let yourself be happy. And that’s impossible without love, understanding, and TRANSFORMATION.

Yet Chuck didn’t understand that AGAIN. He said “kill each other, don’t kill each other - I don’t care” to boys only because he succeeded in killing Amara as a personality finally. So he didn’t need Sam and Dean as “mirrors” of his own toxic relationship with his sibling anymore.

But we - now we understand. Chuck revealed the secret himself when told about this Cas’s uniqueness.

To be whole doesn’t mean to manipulate and to devour, in fact these are the opposites. Maybe Sam, Dean and Cas ARE broken, but not as much as Chuck himself. Maybe they are broken only because of him and his trauma, his awful relationship with Amara. Maybe, unlike him, they found the real way to healing.  

Maybe their “cracks” are not like his. Maybe these “cracks” are the free will itself, the things that can change the convo, and they are also something Chuck doesn’t know about -  ‘cause he doesn’t understand them. 

He doesn’t truly understand love. 

The way Cas supports Sam while looking the way to save Jack. The things he says during Sam and Dean’s fight - small things, not important at first sight. They weren’t scripted by Chuck I think: Dean, don’t. Sam, why not? All these looks - from Sam to Cas before confronting Dean. From Cas to Sam and Dean. From Dean to Cas - Dean was looking at Cas several times while listening to Sam, for support or confirmation.

Cas couldn’t fight Dean there, he was so unsure. He didn’t even agree to buy Sam some time if Dean comes back earlier than Sam. But he supported Sam in his fight, said to him not to surrender, said, that Sam’s internal compass was functioning perfectly. That’s moral support only, but it could change things.

Dean also saw support in Cas, but Cas had doubts, he ASKED Sam, why not, and Dean just HAD TO listen. 

As a result they confirmed themselves as Team Free Will. All the three of them - they could escape the next Chuck’s trap.    Still I assume the crucial party in that belongs to Cas. He is something that always isn’t in the plan, something unpredictable.  Notice - when Sam, Jack and Dean deal with Amara, there is no Cas with them. But in the end of 15x17 it’s Cas who asks Chuck about Amara, and that wasn’t the part of his plan. I suppose this question was the reason of Chuck’s getting angry so much that he revealed the secret about this Cas as a kind of offence. Like it’s bad - to be unpredictable. To be a trickster.  To be real.

Chuck’s words about this Cas’s uniqueness influence Cas for sure. After them he looked at Dean TWICE (what for?!), and I think that’s possible that his latter question “What do you mean?” refers to these Chuck’s words especially. Cas was just lost in his thoughts when he heard them. Only when Chuck told about Jack’s death, Cas was brought back to reality. Coincidence? Hell no. 

Now Cas understood something thanks to Chuck, and that will play in 15x18 for sure. 

Also, in 15x17 we didn’t see any Cas+Empty interaction. Only Sam+Empty - but THIS IS CAS’S HELP TO SAM THAT MADE IT POSSIBLE.

So maybe Chuck knew about Sam coming to Death library. But did he know about Sam’s getting God Death book? We’ll wait and see. To conclude: Chuck can’t control love ‘cause he doesn’t understand it, doesn’t feel it. And that's the true weakness that will end him.  Chuck’s true weakness is revealed: he isn’t in love. With anything. 

[clairenatural]

Wait, as someone who hasn’t watched the show for a long time, could I ask to explain the context for Dean wanting to “experience things differently or for the first time(!!!)”, like, what things has he not experienced yet???

ok so take this with a grain of salt that I am both a destiheller™ and also will die on the Dean is Bi hill but.......they never explained that lmao. I’ve yet to see anyone even try to give a heterosexual explanation for that. 

Dean goes into the confessional to tempt the monster on a case but his fake confession (which, notably, is about women and wanting to treat them better/have a real relationship) turns into a real moment where he says this:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.

The context in the show is that he has recently recovered from being a demon, is about to sacrifice himself to save the world (again) and is having a “wait a second what if I’m not actually okay with dying” crisis. And they’ve never followed up on it or explained what “people” or “feelings” he was thinking about. 

It’s also notable that this was the Mark of Cain season, where Dean is following Cain’s path, and Cas is explicitly paralleled to the love of Cain’s life Colette.

(eta that after I posted this and looked at it without destiel goggles I realized you could make the argument that he just meant love and a long-term romantic relationship--except, oops, this is after both Lisa and Cassie. So no you can’t)

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

e f j

Oh my gosh! Thanks so much! I totally wasn’t expecting anyone to actually ask me anything. Lets dig into these, shall we? 

E -- Top 5 Episodes

Oh my gosh, you started off with such a hard one! I am so guilty and such a terrible SPN fan! I haven’t done a proper re-watch in like 2 years! So while I can’t say that these episodes are necessarily my top episodes, they are episodes I remember and reflect fondly of. So with that said, let’s begin the countdown of my “top 5″ episodes of SPN. 

#5 5x08, Changing Channels -- It’s a fun episode and an episode I never mind re-visiting

#4 7x16, Out With The Old -- It’s a quirky episode and I like it. I like how we kind of got a different dynamic towards Leviathans with George The Leviathan. I wonder what ever happened to him? Did he get sucked into Purgatory with Dick Roman? It would’ve been nice if we could’ve revisited George in season 15. 

#3 7x20, The Girl With The Dungeons & Dragons Tattoos -- Uh hello, Charlie, duh! Such a good introduction to her. But unfortunately, the writers did not do her justice after she went to Oz and since then, I never really felt like the Charlie in this episode was ever really present again. 

#2 7x21, Reading is Fundamental -- Uh, Megstiel feels! Introduction to Kevin! And I LOVE Kevin. He is so adorable and he deserved so much better than to be Metatron’s collateral damage, he deserved so much better than to be a wandering ghost, then get sent to hell after he Chuck told him he was going to heaven and then escaped from hell and become a wandering ghost AGAIN!!! This boy is only like 17-18 years old canonically. Seriously, what is up with these writers? How dare they do my boy Kevin like that! I only hope when Jack became God, he actually sent Kevin to heaven, poor boy deserves it. 

Wow, so a lot of season 7 episodes made it onto this list. I guess I should come out of the closet as it were. I’m one of the few who doesn’t hate season 7. i actually quite enjoy it. Even if I am salty about the whole thing with Cas and Sera killing him off, the season just has a different, unique feel to it that’s different from all of the other seasons. And I like it. Plus, it introduced a lot of cool new characters. 

So before I give you my number 1, all time top favorite episode of SPN, I’m going to cheat and name off some honorable mentions. 

8x08 -- Hunter Heroici, 9x06 -- Heaven Can’t Wait, 10x05 -- Fan Fiction, 10x07 -- Girls, Girls, Girls (hanstiel is so cute in this episode), 10x20 -- Angel Heart, 6x15 -- The French Mistake, 15x08 -- Our Father Who Aren’t In Heaven (because Midam!), 1x06 -- Bloody Mary. And I’ll end it here otherwise this could go on for a really long time as I peruse the SPN episode list and am reminded of all the episodes I like. 

Here is my top #1 episode!

#1 4x20, The Rapture -- Oh my gosh! I love this episode so much! To this day, Jimmy Novak’s speech to Cas ranting at him for breaking his promise gives me chills! I love Jimmy Novak and this was the episode in which I really was very interested in the dynamics between angels and their vessels and I so desperately wanted to see more of that with Cas and Jimmy. But since we didn’t get it, I’m happy that we at least got Michael and Adam.The Destihellers like to talk about how Dean is what made Cas fall in love with humanity. I disagree on that, first of all,, it’s always been portrayed that Cas has a soft spot for humanity but even if we were to ignore that, I’m personally of the belief that Jimmy played a huge part in endearing humanity to Cas. And obviously, when Cas came back from Bible School in this episode, he had lost all of that through all of heaven’s brainwashing but I also like to think that Jimmy’s sacrifice to Claire started replanting the seeds in Cas about how endearing he finds humanity. So yeah, we can argue all we want about which Winchester was responsible for making Cas fall in love with humanity, but to me, it started first with Jimmy Novak and he was able to break through the brainwashing because of Jimmy Novak and that’s how I choose to see it. 

F -- One Thing You’d Make Canon If You Could

Uh, too easy, Cas confessing to Sam and not Dean. And we get a canonical Sastiel happily ever after! We all know I’m basically Sastiel trash right now!

Or if not Sastiel as an endgame for Sam, SamxJess. I always liked Jess with as little as we got to see with her. 

But also to think outside of the box here, in the essence of making head canons come true, I heard this head canon once that Meg actually used to be Megara from the tale of Hercules. And she made a deal with a crossroads demon to save Hercules and honestly this head canon is kind of dope and I would have loved to have seen it go canon. Meg is already a pretty interesting character but a having a back story like that, uh, it would’ve been awesome. 

J -- Favorite Monster of the Week

I think I’m going to go with Bloody Mary on this. I don’t know, I’ve always liked the ghosts and the Bloody Mary episode has always just kind of stuck with me. It It honestly is a really kind of terrifying episode. And whenever I watch it, like I have to go to bed directly afterwards, no going to the bathroom, no fixing dinner, nothing like that because I’m too scared of accidentally seeing my reflection. So good on my girl Mary for being super terrifying!

Well, I hope you enjoyed these! I certainly enjoyed answering them! And hopefully, my answers were to your liking!

[theyarebothgunshot]

Ok I'm doing this. Because... mental health. Sorry for choosing you, but so far you're the one I trust here. What is it in SPN + cockles (+ destihell iyw) that drag some to a black hole dead end street? Why are there fans losing their minds over it and I perceive cockles shippers as toxic ppl? Where is the boundary? Is there a code for how to ship correctly? What are the main magnets about all that? How big is divergence inside the fandom? I'm talking mostly about Tumblr but you can include reddit etc. Also FOMO issues can make it all worse, right... Thank you so much.

hi! i’m not sure if i understand everything correctly, but i think you mean to ask why there are so many fans who think cockles shippers are toxic, and what i see as the boundaries when it comes to talking about real people. i hope i have that right, if not just let me know. 

i don’t think i am an expert on the subject because i have only been in the fandom for a few months, and i only stick to tumblr, not any other sites. but i think the reason people think ‘shipping’ cockles is morally wrong is because it involves real people instead of characters and they think that is disrespectful to the people it involves.

in my opinion, it’s only disrespectful if what you talk about leaves fandom spaces. so how i see it is: it is okay to talk about it amongst friends, in private, or on your blog, but don’t go on instagram/twitter/to conventions and talk to the actors about it/in public about it, and the biggest no go is involving their families or loved ones. 

it’s hard to say how big the divergence is, but this is what i have noticed: a LOT of the heller fandom have Eyes. by which i mean: they see how jensen and misha interact, and they do not deny it. but, a large part of those people are like switserland: they don’t wanna say they believe there is anything going on there out loud, but they have thoughts, they just don’t wanna Go There which i get. then, there is a small but loud portion of the fandom who DOES want to talk about it (like me) and people support them. even those who are quiet about it themselves. unfortunately, there is another part of the fandom who is very loud about hating the people who talk about it. which, again, i would understand if we were crossing any boundaries, but the people i surround myself with on here would never do that, so i always kind of hate seeing posts like that because i think it’s a bit much. 

i do think that some cockles truthers are going too far on here as well. the other day i saw a post about how shipping real people is wrong, and the notes were full of cockles blogs who tried to convince the op that it was real etc. that’s just in poor taste and gives people the wrong idea. it’s on the same level of j/2 tinhatters coming into our inboxes, and i don’t like it.

sorry this got kind of long, but i hope this helps.

[catstiel-felineofthelord]

This has all been said before so I don't really have anything new to add, but I have to say this. Nothing...no story that I have heard or probably will ever hear...nothing compares to Destiel. We say all the time how it's "the greatest love story ever told" and it absolutely is. And part of that is because of just how TRAGIC it all is. Like, I tried to compare it to the most well-known tragic love story of all time: Romeo and Juliet. But Destiel so far surpasses them it's almost humorous. Like, Dean and Cas are like if Romeo and Juliet had known each other for 12 years and had pined after each other without knowing their feelings were returned, and they saved each other over and over, and were the best of friends content to love each other from afar and ask nothing more of each other because they thought they could never have more, and then just before their deaths they find out they could've had each other all along but it's too late (oh, and they adopted a child together!...fucking insane). Like...they don't even compare (although it is interesting how both stories ended with one *supposedly* dying so the other gives up and dies, and then we find out the first was alive...like fuck me man.).

I can confidently say that I am obsessed with Destiel. No other pairing can compare. The only other pairings that (in my mind) come even CLOSE to the epicness of the Destiel Tragedy are Claire/Jamie (Outlander) and Kagome/Inuyasha (Inuyasha) because those pairings defied TIME and had to struggle through epic stories of politics and wars and understanding the supernatural. Before becoming a hardcore Destiheller, these were my OTPs. They made me believe in epic romances that have the strength to overcome any obstacle. They are beautiful stories and are still very close to my heart. But even still, Destiel blows them out of the water!

I think part of the reason for this is the duality in the Destiel relationship. There are epic highs and lows and sometimes those exist simultaneously. Every moment between them is laced with both unfathomable love and unbearable pain. Every time something seems to go their way, they discover it was all just the still before the storm. And these still moments never last long enough for them to take advantage. They are constantly drawn to each other while being ripped apart. Not to mention the betrayals and mistakes each of them have made, how much they have hurt each other out of fear, anger, or misguided attempts to put things right. They are both such complex characters who are constantly learning from each other, changing each other for better or worse. And changing the world...

The other reason no other story will ever compare to Destiel, no matter how epic or incredible: Destiel defied the story's own authors. It was never supposed to exist! It is the only romance (that I know of) that exists DESPITE the efforts of some of the authors to kill it. Because of the inherent chemistry between these characters (and Misha himself has said that the chemistry between Dean and Cas is something he felt during their scenes, meaning it's something outside of his chemistry with Jensen) and because the unique relationship between the show and fandom, Destiel grew organically until it was impossible to ignore. Even when scenes weren't written as romantic, Destiel shone through so clearly that it couldn't be edited away. They tried, but these characters in many ways had a mind of their own. And I think that's because Misha and Jensen worked so hard to understand their characters as separate entities from themselves, so in a lot of ways the characters became real and began making their own decisions through Misha and Jensen. Destiel exists because it just IS. Outside of what is written (both by our writers AND by Chuck), Destiel came to be. And that is just so unexplainably beautiful that I will never recover.

Destiel is the greatest love story ever told because it has everything and more. Nothing will ever compare. And I will forever be obsessed with Destiel, proudly 💙💚

[touchstarvedsam]

Destihellers love to claim they were queerbaited

But they queerbaited me

When I first got tumblr on my old account i would see a photoset of a scene between cas and dean with subtitles like cas saying something like "oh dean you are the best boyfriend ever I am so in love with you"

So I watch the show thinking "oh lgbt rep? And with a main character? Hell yeah" then I watch it and get to the scene in question and all cas actually says is like "Good afternoon"

I am so sorry that happened to you! I'm glad you didn't watch the show with D*stiel-tinted glasses and write it off when the ship didn't happen and miss all that's amazing about the show! I wish the hellers gave up when they realized M*sha lied, but they're so gullible they listened to him to the end, and now they think they were robbed. Amazing.

I've come across a few blogs over the years who were queerbaited by hellers too. It's sad but at the same time hilarious because it's literally asshole fans doing it to other fans, non-fans, potential fans, etc, and then they cry that the SHOW queerbaited them but they literally dragged poor souls into their mess.

Like, nah, this show that's about two brothers saving the world -- and the friends they made along the way but were still less important than these brothers -- did not queerbait you. You let a middle aged cishet white dude start it, and you guys just finished it for him, making it worse for literally everyone.

I still don't understand how two cishet dudes making out relates to these teenage girls so much, but uh. Whatever. If they cared about representation they'd support all of CW's other shows because of how much representation they have but it was never about that, it was about making a straight character into who they want him to be so their ship can be canon. 💕 So now they're boycotting (some say they're suing?) the number one network leading queer representation because they're salty about a ship that was never going to exist in the show.

I'm a bisexual woman who has never felt that Dean being bi would validate me in any way. Because he doesn't. He's a man, for starters. 12 years older than me. And he's never once given me bisexual vibes. So where these kids are getting it, I have no fucking idea.

Where did I even go with this post? I'm tired.

[virginbutstillahoe]

supernatural: an essay

hello fellow clowns.

i need to get some things off my chest, so here we are.  read it, don’t read it, it’s up to you buttercup.  love you.

i’ve been watching since i was 11.  since 2009.  this show raised me.

my father was a really bad guy.  i’ve alluded to it a few times on here but, he was a really abusive and horrible man.  so, i leaned on this show.  it taught me, that even with an abusive father and a difficult hand dealt to me, that i could keep fighting and find the family that i could call my own.

it taught me that family didn’t end in blood.  you control your destiny.  love is stronger than your crap life.  don’t give up, baby.

i am angry about the finale.  enraged even.  but i still love this show and the actors and crew members that made it possible.  that will never change.  this show is what pulled me from the ledge more times than i can count.  made me laugh when i thought i never could again.  did more for me than words can describe to be perfectly honest.  

you may say, molly, it’s a stupid show with bad special effects and sometimes bad acting, there’s no way it’s that special to you.  and to you i say, i am so sorry for you that you don’t know what it’s like to love and enjoy something with your whole heart.

----

now, dean winchester is my favorite character of anything ever.  yes, castiel is a CLOSE fucking second, but dean is just god tier for me.  he is so human and so much like me.  he is the main thing that made me realize, hey, it’s okay to take your time in growing and to be damaged.  it’s okay to be flawed.  he is everything castiel said in his final moments and more.  a true lover.  a man who would put his family (blood relatives and non blood relatives) before anyone or anything.  

destiel aside.  it is OUT OF CHARACTER for dean winchester to not immediately ask for jack to bring cas back as soon as he had all of god’s power.  completely.  jesus christ he even asked GOD to bring him back.  

to continue, dean not asking to see cas as soon as he finds out that he’s not in the empty?  you have got to be kidding.  

i am a destiheller.  i won’t even try to lie here, i am.  but seriously, let’s just say for the sake of the argument, that dean isn’t in love with cas.  still, dean winchester would have wanted to see his best friend.  cas died.  dean would have wanted to find him and hug him immediately if he knew he was around.

jesus, didn’t you see him when he found cas in purgatory?

there is literally NO reason that castiel wasn’t present in the finale.  zero.

----

i am okay with dean dying for the ending.  i actually really am.  i liked the idea of dean dying to save two children, and doing what he loved. but immediately after they defeat chuck?  why?  couldn’t he have had a few years of joy?  of freedom?  why, after everything they’ve been through, did they continue to punish this amazing man, who was nothing but heroic and selfless for the world until the end?  i just don’t understand.

----

on a more positive side, my sammy.  he finally got a long and happy life.  albeit without dean but, he still had the chance to enjoy his freedom, and get the apple pie life he always dreamed of.  

and dean, oh my dean.  his ending?  i am angry about how it came about, but a heaven filled with the people he loves?  thank you for that.  thank you for bobby being there to greet him, for being at harvelle’s and kicking back.  thank you.

----

sorry to tell you, but i’m back to anger.  

misha. goddamn. collins. 

this man has done so much good for this show, for its fans, and for honestly the world in general.  he came on as as two second plot episode character that they planned to throw away after they used him to connect a couple dots, and his performance was so incredible, they ended up having to throw all their plans away and readjusting.  

he made this show good again, he gave it some life.  i would watch the show so intensely, hoping to see his face when episodes would air.  just his sheer presence in an episode made it more enjoyable.

how did he do that?

what do they give him for his service?  

- a death with almost no reaction from the other characters on the show

- a two second mention in the finale without any appearance

- his final words on the show being a prank call from fucking lucifer a long time hated character (and actor) on the show

- and the showrunners using his pull with the fans to trick us into watching an ending where he was nowhere in sight.

you might be saying, wait.  what do you mean by that last bullet.  well my little cherry blossom, let me explain.  

the writers and showrunners KNOW that we love misha and castiel.  they know it.  as i mentioned before, it was our love of the two of them that kept him on the show in the first place.  they know that his presence is what kept the show afloat.

so, they decided to use that to their advantage.  they became super mysterious and shifty about his whereabouts during the filming of the finale.  why?  why would they do that unless they were worried that we would lose interest and find somewhere else to be when the finale aired because our favorite part of the show was gone?  

they toyed with us just to ensure that we would maintain the ratings on their last hurrah.  and you know what?  that really feels like an enormous slap to the face.  

because guess what?  i would have fucking watched anyway.  would i have been upset and a little hurt that cas wasn’t in it?  absolutely, for all the reasons i described.  but i wouldn’t have been holding my breath in hopes of seeing him the entire time, and then have my heart ripped out of my chest like that in disappointment.  

i would have been able to appreciate the ending for what it was, and accept it wasn’t going to be exactly what i wanted ahead of time.  i wouldn’t be so angry now.  

and i resent them for making me feel that way.  this show did so much for me and is so much of the reason why i’m still here today, and they ruined it for me.  i am so angry that they took something so precious to me, and crushed it, just to get those extra bucks in from keeping the ratings in a good spot.  fuck you.  

----

during that whole montage of sam growing old and having a family (which i literally honestly loved, alright?) instead of having dean drive the car, which we’ve seen him do 384729387423 times, we could have seen dean reuniting with his mom, with charlie, fuck WITH CAS, and giving jack a nougie.  things that actually made sense, and made the most of the finite time we had left.  

i didn’t even need a love confession.  even just a hug, or an appearance from cas would have been enough for me.  because i know, romantic love or not (even though we all fucking know it’s romantic but since so many homophobic people watch the show we have to keep it dubious ugh), cas would be a part of dean’s heaven because cas is part of dean’s family, which is what gets dean out of bed every morning.  

----

listen, i am happy that the final minutes of the show were just sam and dean, hugging, and loving each other.  after all, that’s what started it all, right?  i’m just saying, they screwed us, the characters, and the legacy of the show for what seems to be no apparent reason.  it was just laziness, homophobia, or something else that doesn’t make any sense to me.  

what was the point of the deancas relationship arc for there to be no resolution?  what was the point of brining eileen into sam’s life for them not to be together?  

i truly, just don’t understand.  i don’t.

they really could have made this something amazing, and jaw dropping, but they chose not to.  and i will never forgive them.

----

all that being said though, thank you supernatural.  thank you for making me who i am today.  thank you for making me laugh, cry, and survive so long.  there are memories, people, and messages that you sent to me that will stay with me forever, and that i will never forget.  

to the actors, i hope you know, that any anger you might see from me, or from most of us (don’t want to speak for everyone), are at the writers, not you.  i see all of your hard work and your devotion.  you are everything that makes this show great.  you are what made this show.  thank you for everything.  

and to jensen specifically, i am truly sorry.  i really thought you were being an ass and that you didn’t like the ending bc of stupid reasons, but it turns out you were right.  i’m sorry they didn’t listen to you, and i’m sorry that i doubted you.  you’ve done nothing but love this character and give it your all, and you and misha really got shot in the foot.

your hard work did not go unnoticed.  

thank you for listening if you did. 

i love you all and it has truly been a pleasure.

i’m gonna tag a few people under the bar in case they’re curious about my thoughts. i might not really talk to a lot of you but i really respect your opinions and like you guys.  so yeah (:

tag list @prayedtoyou @destiel-is-canon-i-guess @starrynightdeancas @green-eyes-and-classic-rock @thetiredstuff

[deaneverafter]

thanks for apologising for the negativity, queen! it’s healthier to spend energy celebrating what you do like than hating what you don’t. if you don’t like destiel/misha/cas, maybe you could ask people who do like them to block you? it sounds like putting hate in the destiel tag stresses you out as much as it stresses them out. anyway I hope you have a better day today! much love - a ‘destiheller’

Wasn't apologizing to you (or any stans who demean and insult Dean)! 😊 I was talking to my mutuals, who'd had to deal with my reaction to a situation destiel stans have created. I didn't create this negativity situation. I know for a fact that Dean stans have been trying our best to stay away from destiel drama. We wish we could spend time focusing on the things we care about, instead of trying to dodge heller drama, the really bad, insulting takes, and Misha's constant efforts to ruin everything.

We have merely been asking people to stop spamming Dean tags with Cass stuff. We have merely asked hellers to stop spamming the Dean deserves better tags with "ah yes, he deserved better, he deserved to have Cass kiss him in heaven. He owes it to Cass" (literally, please educate yourselves and learn to have some respect for people's basic human rights. If you guys really cared about human rights like you pretend to, you'd know that no one ever owes anybody their love or their body, and trying to force Dean into this atrocity of a relationship is gross and abusive). That has made no difference. Destiel stans refuse to respect other people. Even worse, when we ask that when we say the finale hurt us for butchering Dean or really say anything about Dean, that hellers stop taking our words and twisting them, destiel stans adamantly and stubbornly refuse to do so. Misha keeps saying dumb things everyday, trying to tarnish the show and speaking on other characters' behalves, merely for his own notoriety and financial gain, with no care of how it affects other fans and people he claims to care about. These things also further incite hatred and harrassment towards Jensen, but Misha doesn't care about anyone other than himself, so this doesn't deter him (frankly, it seems to egg him on further, so that's telling).

To summarize, destiel stans demand that everyone respect them and their tags, while they go around disrespecting everyone's tags, demeaning and insulting and abusing Dean in his own tags, demanding that everyone believe and support their lies and creepy fantasies, romanticizing a relationship that is detrimental to Dean, insulting, slandering and abusing Jensen in his own tags, and twisting our words. They demand that Misha be allowed to continue to spew garbage and no one be allowed to hold him accountable.

We have tried our best to focus on the things we care about, but Misha and hellers have made it impossible, so you advising me to focus on the positivity is condescending, and frankly, absurd.

So no, I am not sorry that I spoke the truth about your ship, your overlord and your cult, and tagged it accordingly. I felt bad about other Dean fans having to see the negativity and I felt stressed because I try to be a good person, not because I think the destiel fandom deserves mine or anyone else's respect or consideration, simply because the heller fandom isn't willing to extend that same courtesy to everyone else.

I don't know how you saw my post since I didn't tag it; as you said, since it stresses me out, I'm asking you, if you are following me, please do unfollow and block me. If you were just stalking me and thought you'd look really clever twisting my words and trying to claim the apology (further proving my point that hellers have no sense of respecting other people), please do block me anyway. I have absolutely no desire to further interact with someone who's prone to twisting my words, as you clearly are, in true Misha/Castiel/heller fashion.