#destiel makes me insane

[strawberrryangel]

“there’s things, there’s people, feelings, that i want to experience differently than i have before, maybe even for the first time.” i’ll throw up. right now.

[adeptune01]

When Amara said “I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except, it’s cloaked in shame.” And later we find out Dean was never in love with her…yeah so what does that mean exactly

[spn-circa-2012]

There’s few people that when the cameras are rolling, you get to truly create moments that aren’t on the page. And it’s hard sometimes to find rhythm and cohesiveness with everyone you work with, and when you find the rare person that can play at a level that makes you wanna be better, it almost is like a high. That when the creative juices are flowing, you’re making moments that you maybe didn’t even plan to be there—happy accidents, we used to call them—an emotion or between the lines nuance moments. I think that the reason that the story of Dean and Cas skewed to where it was, was because I kept being able to have that creative ignition with Mish when things were rolling that made me a better actor, and made me wanna find that even more.

Jensen on how his connection with Misha impacted the relationship between Dean and Cas on screen. (sans filler words for clarity)

[lonesome-dreamsss]

his handprint may be burned into your skin but it's still the gentlest touch you've ever received.

[bloodydeanwinchester]

Confession Scene Random Moment: let's pregame november 5th with this random moment from the confession scene! castiel is well and truly crying now as he makes his big declaration!! dean is beginning to realize that something BAD is about to happen—cas is saying all these nice things to him because he's about to sacrifice himself for him!! it only gets worse from here!!

[warpedpuppeteer]

It's interesting how Buck's love interests are all written in a way that ends because of the reason they meet/happen in the first place and then of course, we have Eddie.

Abby, who changes Buck's view of a healthy relationship but then turns around and ghosts him, making him wait for months on end and letting him realize she's not coming back on his own.

Ali, who meets Buck during a dangerous situation in his line of work and then leaves him for how dangerous his work is.

Taylor, who lashes out at Buck for using her as a fake date and saying she thought she could trust Buck to be a friend who then ends up using him for her career and chose to put his friends in danger.

Natalia, who's there to help him embrace and deal with his temporary death but it leads to their break up because of the constant talk surrounding death when Buck's not comfortable with it.

We can't confirm for Tommy till it ends but it's important to note how he offers to get Buck into his interests like flying and muay thai yet doesn't show effort with Buck's interests like dressing up according to the bachelor party theme despite Buck being stressed about it. And we also have the fact that the entire reason they got together was due to Buck's jealousy for Eddie which he then claims to be was for Tommy. Makes me think they are either going to end because of differing interests OR because of the jealousy issue popping up again.

Funnily enough, every scene above has an Eddie parallel:

Eddie co-parents with Buck and not only does this not stop after a dangerous event but Eddie also has Buck down as a legal guardian (healthy relationship - Abby).

Eddie is in the same dangerous line of work and they have each other's backs. This happens right off the bat too.(dangerous job - Ali).

The Lawsuit era and The Dispatch era - both where they "betray" each other but manage to work through it (betrayal/lie - Taylor).

Eddie doesn't pressure Buck to talk about his temporary death until Buck's ready and is more focused about him living than in his death (death doula - Natalia).

Eddie who has different interests than Buck (poker, basketball and UFC/MMA) but also manages to show interest and actively takes part in whatever Buck comes up with; he suggests their outfit for the themed party AND ends up staying there for Buck even when others leave (different hobbies & showing interest/taking part - Tommy).

Absolutely fascinating when you start noticing that Buck's relationships keep failing for one reason or another and then we have him and Eddie who face the same sort of situations but they still come out of it stronger together.

It's clear that there's a reason Buck is able to overcome anything when it comes to Eddie (that conversation with Maddie about being there for each other even at their worst 👀) and we've already established that everything Eddie looks for in a partner is already something he has found in Buck. So really, all that's left is for them to realize that hey, the one I'm looking for is right in front of me! 🤷🏽

And yes, it's been said to death (hah) but you don't find it son you make it. And Buck and Eddie have already made it.

[youchangedmedestiel]

Cas wasn't touch starved before, but he was once he knew how it felt to be touched by humans Dean.

[jenanigans1207]

“I don’t regret it, Dean.” Cas says quietly. “Telling you I love you was the best moment of my life.”

“Yeah? Well, it was the worst of mine!” Dean yells, throwing his arms out to the side. There’s a moment of stricken silence where Cas’s face falls and Dean realizes how his words came across. He rushes to elaborate. “Do you know how many years I wondered if angels could feel love? Romantic love? Do you know how long I hoped that they could— that you, specifically, could? And more than that, that you would feel it towards me? I wondered all the goddamn time, Cas. And then you— you finally—“ Dean swallows past a lump in his throat, letting his arms fall back to his sides. “You finally tell me not only that you can love, but you love me. Me. And in one second, ten years of my wildest dreams came true and then were ripped away.”

Dean looks down at his feet. Clenches his jaw against the feelings threatening to choke him. He tries to take a steadying breath in through his nose but it doesn’t help him feel any better.

“Dean—“

“I didn’t think I was ever gonna see you again.” Dean confesses to his boots. “I thought I’d have to live the rest of my miserable life knowing I could’ve had you and kicking myself for being such a dumb piece of shit.” He swallows again and looks up. “I thought you were going to spend eternity not knowing that I love you, too.”

“I didn’t mean— Dean, I didn’t—“ Cas shakes his head as words fail him.

“So yeah,” Dean shrugs a little helplessly, his voice still tight with emotion. “It was the worst moment of my life. Except for every moment that came after— because every single moment from your death until you came back was the worst moment of my life. Every moment without you is. And you coming back could’ve been the best moment of my life if you hadn’t been such an ass about everything.”

There was a time, once, in the distant past where Cas’s face never betrayed any emotion. Dean could’ve scrutinized every single molecule of his expression and he wouldn’t have been able to read a goddamn thing from it. That hasn’t been the case for a long time— Cas took to emotions and humanity better than Dean did, and it was the only thing Dean had ever known.

Now, Dean can read a multitude of emotions in Cas’s expression: disbelief in the slight part of his lips, hope in the blue of his eyes, shock in the rise of his eyebrows. He can practically read every thought going through Cas’s mind as he tries to process what’s happened.

And then, there it is: acceptance in the way the corner of Cas’s mouth ticks up.

“I had no idea.” Cas answers after a moment.

“‘Course you didn’t.” Dean replies, his own mouth mirroring the small smile. “You fucked off before I got a chance to say it back.”

“I just assumed—“

“You know what they say about assuming, Cas.”

“No, I don’t.” Cas is full on smiling now, warm and full of the love Dean had only ever seen hidden in shadows of his expressions. Now it’s practically splitting his face open, spilling out of Cas like he’s finally filled up with so much of it that it’s simply impossible to keep it all in. “And frankly, I don’t care. I only care about what you have to say.”

Dean huffs out a fond laugh as he shakes his head. “Finally gonna let me do the talking, huh?”

“I’m in the mood to do some listening,” Cas’s grin is dazzling and a little cheeky, Dean wants to memorize it immediately.

He takes a step closer to Cas. And then another. Cas simply watches him approach, making no attempt to back away. His personal space is inviting and Dean enjoys stepping directly into it with no hesitation.

“Well, I might be in the mood for something other than talking.” Dean whispers, less than a foot from Cas now.

“Oh?” Cas prompts, his hand reaching across the minuscule place between them to settle on Dean’s hip.

“Yeah,” Dean murmurs, leaning in. “But just to make sure you get it through your stubborn head: I love you, Cas. And I’ll fucking kill you if you ever do something like that again.”

Dean kisses him before Cas has a chance to reply.

[denimshortsdean]

Cas really read dean to filth within an inch of his LIFE three (3) minutes after meeting him (What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?), threatened him the very next time he saw him (You should show me some respect. I'm the one who dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in.), then the time after that overshared about being a good little soldier (Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul? I'm not a... hammer, as you say. I have questions. I have doubts)

absolutely insane writing from the destiel show

[limbel]

sometimes you just need to draw dean and cas smooching ykwim

my entry for @destieldtiyschallenge! ended up choosing this wholesome piece by the incredible magical @werepires cause it occurred to me that ive never drawn them kissing! so embarassing of me!!

[angel-fruitcake]

please destiel, i beg of you. distract us from the horrors

[deancasforcutie]

those intimate comforting touches they only trust from each other

Well, I'd sooner forget, but I remember those nights Yeah, life was just a bet on a race between the lights You had your head on my shoulder, you had your hand in my hair Now you act a little colder like you don't seem to care But just believe in me, baby, and I'll take you away From out of this darkness and into the day

[justnour99]

THE WAY MISHA IS LOOKING AT JENSEN!! HELP😭

[bloodydeanwinchester]

DESTIEL IN EVERY EPISODE → 6x22 the man who knew too much

i'd have died for you.

[insanesonofabitch]

He was thinking about Dean wanting him back here…

[wickedwitchofthesouth]

I am still thinking about Castiel walking out on Dean during the divorce arc... After he apologized, after he held his tounge because I fucking know cas would have had some shit to say after Dean got Jack killed (and yes he did. nothing will ever change my mind on that)

But mostly I'm thinking about what was going through castiels head when he left. What emotions was he feeling? I'm sure he was sad, devastated even. But I wonder if he felt some tiny, distant, and undoubtedly dreadful inkling of relief at the thought of never seeing Dean again. Not because he was angry with Dean (which he had every right to be) but because not seeing Dean would have meant that he wouldn't be able to achieve true happiness

And not achieving true happiness at that point would have meant the empty leaving him alone, which would have in turn meant getting to live longer.

It would have meant getting to feel Dean's presence on earth for longer. It would have meant getting to admire humanity for longer. It would have meant getting to love Dean for longer

Even if it meant he would have only loved him from a far, Cas would be okay with that. He wouldn't be happy but atleast he'd be alive

Because god, at least he could still love him.

Maybe Cas left because he didn't want to be forgiven. Maybe he knew that forgiveness would leave him crawling back for more.

And the deal he'd made had bound his wrists in chains that read "more is less"